#but I don’t have a stable paycheck yet

[van-del]

My desire in life is to have enough disposable income to go to an anime convention with Internet friends (and to have enough Internet friends in the first place) and have money for cosplay and merch and food and explore and to even pay for any moots who may need it and to buy fancomics because they make me feral

#this is because of halveablock’s maki fanbook #I want it #but I don’t have a stable paycheck yet #the second I do #it’s all over for you #(by you I mean poverty) #kambili x jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #personal #moots 🥰 #anime

[yanderenightmare]

...part two where alpha bakugou finally tries to court reader after a few years of possessively scenting her and walks in on her in her first hear

Bakugou Katsuki

TW: omegaverse, possessiveness, awkward relationship

part 1

gn reader

He’s trying to figure out how to get you to move in with him. 

He’s done at UA now, receiving steady work and paychecks. His apartment is nice, in a good and practical location. Everything is stable. Everything’s in place.

Everything except you.

He knows he hasn’t been the most reasonable mate throughout the years. His confession was nothing short of a threat – forcing you to wear his clothes so others would know you were taken. 

But he did those things to protect you, to keep you safe – which is his duty as an Alpha. He's done his side of the courtship.

In all honesty, you’re the one who’s unreasonable – you’re the one not doing your job. 

He’s not blind to see how doting other Omegas are towards their Alphas.

You don’t dote on him – never kissy or cuddly or lovey-dovey – at best, you’re passive with an inclination to be agreeable.

How’s he supposed to make any sort of moves on you when you don’t give him any signals? At this rate, the two of you will be left in a platonic state of… not friendship or kinship… just plain awkwardness – a stalemate.

It’s embarrassing… the two of you haven't even consummated your bond yet. In fact, and even more embarrassing – you haven't even kissed.

You may very well not even be mates at this point.

He can’t blame you, though… 

He’s not any good when it comes to you. He never has been. All your conversations are of him either tutoring you in subjects, scolding you for not wearing his clothes, or admonishing you for not telling him about your schedule.

Actually, almost every conversation you have with each other is of him shouting at you.

It’s no wonder you won’t kiss him.

“Oi – I’m done. Heading over now.” He grunts as soon as he hears the tell-tale silence of you answering his call. 

“Uhm,” 

He furrows his brows at the soft warble, waiting for more.

There’s heavy breathing coming from your line. Then, a whimper which only makes his brows furrow tighter.

“I’m – uhm, not really feeling so good.” You finally say.

More heavy breathing, followed by a wince.

“Maybe you shouldn't come...”

“Hah? You’ sick? What kinda sick? How’d you get sick?” He immediately starts berating. “This is why you can’t live alone-”

“Just don’t come.” You interrupt a little louder, offering a sigh. “I don’t want to make you sick too…” He thought he even heard a sniffle. “I’ll stay inside, so don’t worry. I’ll call when I feel better – you can come then, okay?”

A small beat passes.

“No. I’m coming now.”

“But-” You whine, but he hangs up.

Dumb brat. Getting yourself sick. This is exactly why you should live with him. You don’t wear a jacket when it’s cold. You don’t eat what you should. You don’t drink enough water. You don’t sleep when you ought to.

“Oi! Open up, brat.” He bangs on your door when he arrives a curt fifteen minutes later – unbothered by the many other students buzzing around the dorm.

He hears you rush to open, quick footsteps padding across the floor – before the door swings open.

You pull him in by the arm, shutting it quickly behind him.

“Don’t call me a brat where everyone can hear, you dummy.” You hiss, slapping his chest in no way that hurt.

Still, he raises a brow at you.

Then he makes another grimace. Narrowing his eyes as he leans forward just a nod – his broad shoulders squared and stiff.

You curl your brows at the stance, tilting your head in askance while his nose scrunches – sniffing the air between you – almost scrutinizingly.

“You’re not sick.” He suddenly accuses.

It’s an odd thing to disagree on. But it always is with Katsuki – ever the unreasonable Alpha. 

“Yes, I am.” You sigh, brushing past him. “I have a fever, and I feel funny.”

He grabs you before you get too far – although softly – holding you by your upper arms while leaning in closer – now with his nose sliding along your neck.

You feel flushed at the proximity. Odd, for some reason.

Something tickles deep down in your stomach, along with the brewing pain you’d felt all day.

“Feverish, restless, aching stomach?” He lists the symptoms with a raised brow, though more so in a statement. Clicking his tongue at the clueless look of askance you give him in return. “You’re in heat, you dumbass.”

This time, you really feel flushed. Eyes going moon-big at his claim – suddenly very nervous. And for good reason.

“No… how do you know?” You deny, shaking your head as though it would make him any less right.

“Tch-” He scoffs halfheartedly – not sharply like he so often does.

Dropping your arms, he straightens his back and looks off to the side – his voice low with something you’d never heard from him.

“You’re stinking up the whole place...”

There’s a blush dusting his cheeks.

The feeling is mutual.

He hadn’t been on board when you’d told him you were moving out of your home to your college campus. The thought of you living in close proximity to dozens of other alphas and trigger-happy betas made the vein in his forehead pulse – hands sweaty at his sides. 

But he’d helped you move nonetheless – if only to make sure your dorm was infested with his scent – veering off any unwanted bidders. 

“Such a dumb brat…” He sighed. Walking over to the door to make sure you’d locked it – you hadn’t, which only further made him scowl. “Got any idea how dangerous this is? Allowing everyone who walks by to know exactly how-”

“Don’t shout!” You bark back. Feeling nervous and tense and worried – all in all panicked. This wasn’t the plan. “The plan was obviously to use suppressants – but I've never been in heat before, so-”

“So yer sayin’ you had no plan. Tch, unprepared – like always.” He bites back – also panicked.

“Shut up, jerk.” Your fists ball at your sides. “You’re not helping- oww-” You keeled before you could rant – wrapping your arms around your stomach.

Heavy breaths erratically short, interrupted by whimpers and a wince. 

His scowl cleared – easing up when he realized his presence might have just made things worse. He’d showered after patrol, so the scent wasn’t as intense, but it was enough for you to react – knowing his pheromones were spurring your hormones into greater turmoil. 

“Shit.” He muttered – suppose with some empathy – before he scooped you up from where you were all about ready to kiss the floor, huddled over. “Alright then, brat...”

You were weak to his handlings – before you knew it, you were already placed in the bed – the two of you in a spoon – your back to his broad chest and his chin atop your head.

He was a little stiff – not unlike him – but you suppose he was feeling a little shy about the matter – his movements perhaps even slightly sheepish as he smoothed his hand over your stomach.

He went under your shirt but didn’t lift it off – placing his palm down flat atop the ache inside. 

Slowly, he began rubbing circles into the flesh – a little awkwardly until finding the right pace. 

It hurt at first – made you tense – but then it settled. The warmth soon soothed the churning within, making it melt, and you let out a relieved sigh – breaths still burdened, laced with pitiful whimpers you couldn’t help but let slip.

He suppressed a sound when you shimmied closer – trying to will away the warmth he felt swell in his pants.

But your scent had been clouding his head since he'd stepped into the room and was only growing thicker. 

“We don’t have to do anything else.” He stated through the haze in spite of it – as though renouncing the need even though you both knew what it was that was poking against your butt.

“You’re hard.” You argued bluntly – as you’d learned was your only tactic with him. 

Feeling him bristle. “Tch – blame your shitty scent – a man can only hold himself back so much…”

All clothes were still on – and yet… the fat thing that was tucked right alongside the thin cotton of your pajama shorts and undies… you wouldn’t deny it felt nice – couldn’t – not when you were so wet it was embarrassing.

“Stop.” You said – and his hand peeled off your stomach, making you grab and put it back in place. “No, not that – I mean…” 

You chewed your lip – shuffling your thighs – feeling hot all over before releasing another sigh.

“You don’t have to hold yourself back…” You could only barely say it – almost unheard in how timid a whisper it was.

He took a moment in fear of having misunderstood you – remaining vigilant in his cautiousness. Every nerve recognized what a fragile state you were in – and nothing dared defy the single dominant instinct he had telling him to cater to your every need – despite the other almost equally incessant urge he felt to hump you like a pillow.

“Y’gotta explain yourself.”

This time, you gave a whine – caught between vexed and desperate. Shrinking where you lay snug against his bigger body, curling in on yourself. “Please don’t make me say it, Katsuki – it’s so embarrassing, I think I might die.”

His heart beats faster at the vulnerable cry. He swallowed the pool of drool under his tongue – squaring his jaw, doing his best to keep his voice calm. “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what you want.”

“Ugh – you're such a bully-” You curl even further into a ball with a whimper.

Katsuki clicks his tongue at your behavior – briefly rolling his eyes before pulling you up beneath him. His red eyes, holding that pointed dour look – such contrast to the swiveling of your watery ones. 

“Tell me what you want.” His voice was sturdier now – an anchor you could hold onto.

You had often been unsure whether Katsuki really was the right mate for you even though you couldn’t really picture yourself with anyone else – let alone think of him with another Omega without wanting to trash your room like a wild animal let out of the cage. But looking at him now – into those bromine eyes – once so harsh and now so mature, making you feel so safe.

He was waiting for an answer, but your lips had other plans – planting themselves on his in a spur-of-the-moment kiss.

And what left them once the two of you parted was nothing short of heart-robbing.

“Please fuck me.”

#yandere x reader #yandere #yandere x you #yandere imagines #yandere smut #yancore #yandere bakugo #yandere bakugou #yandere bnha #yandere bakugo katsuki #yandere boku no hero academia #yandere katsuki #yandere my hero academia #yandere bakugou katsuki #yandere bakugo x reader #yandere katsuki bakugou #yandere bakugou smut #bakugou smut #boku no hero academia smut #bakugou imagine #bakugou katsuki #mha bakugou #bakugou katuski x reader #bakugo katuski #katsuki bakugou #bakugou x y/n #bakugo katsuki #bnha bakugo katsuki

[urgonnaneedabiggership]

Credits of this glorious GIF go to @meideixx

Namor (MCU) X Mexican!OC

Part II Here

Part III Here

MASTERLIST

Synopsis:

War photographer Sadie Medina is one day mysteriously whisked away on a mission that is suspiciously secret for a botanical expedition. A tragic twist of the events leads to her getting too close to something she should've never found, and too close to people who, by all odds, was never supposed to meet, be imprisoned by, and much less grow close to.

Word count: 2,250

Warnings: MCU typical violence, mentions of war, mentions of death and un-living people, Namor is the charming asshole we all love.

A/N: So, yeah, I've got it bad for this man and I have a ton of unused knowledge of Mayan culture due to me being a sucker for my country's history and some research I did for a Hellboy fanfic that never saw the light, so when he showed up on my screen I saw THE chance and I'm not about to let it go to waste, so here's the first chapter of this slow-burn-wannabe-enemies-to-okyou'recool-to-lovers.

P.S. Before you say anything, the OC's name makes sense a bit further down the road, I promise!

*Disclaimer: I'm by no means an expert on Mayan, but I did my best (by this I mean I looked for the best translator possible) and sorry for any mistakes. Handy little translations at the end, if needed.

There’s little room for anything else in your brain when you’re on the brink of death.

Sadie could talk from experience. And while she had convinced herself that survival instincts are incredibly selfish, the guilt trips and bad dreams would always be the painful aftershock of her line of work. People would often comment on how she must genuinely love what she did or she wouldn’t put her life on the line constantly, but it never really felt like love to her. It was more like a duty. A demanding, consuming, but necessary duty.

She’d heard the soldiers she often found herself around mention that same concept. Yet, after many years, she still couldn’t comprehend how people did many terrible things in the name of the only thing that made her decide to pour her heart into war photography for the remainder of her life.

Her father had never understood it either. She specifically remembered an exchange they had when she was about six, during one scorching afternoon, while she sat on his knees and played with an old rag doll. Guerrilleros didn’t precisely get a stable paycheck at the end of the month.

“This is stupid,” she’d said, tugging at the doll’s arms.

“What is?” asked her father, his voice soft but never tearing his eyes from his surroundings.

“I want to go home. I don’t want to be here. I want to live in our old house, with my Abue. This is stupid.” He had said nothing.

“Pa?” she asked meekly after a short pause. “Are you going to go away like Tío Ramiro? I don’t want to wear the ugly black dress that my aunt did after he went away.”

He couldn’t help but smile a little at her, pulling the girl closer and embracing her against his chest.

“I wouldn’t want that, muñequita. But it’s not up to me. Do you know how I’m always telling you to do as your Abue or I say? Well, there are some people I must obey too.”

“But they tell you to do...ugly things. They make you fight other people; Ernesto told me so. He says you go and beat them so bad they can’t get up. And Abue said that hitting people isn’t nice."

A long sigh that seemed to leave his lungs empty left the man’s mouth. A curse escaped his lips. He had to be more careful about letting her be around the camp’s eldest children. Hell, Ernesto was barely even a child. He could be standing guard in no more than six months with a weapon in his hands.

“Can’t you just talk to them? Maybe you can get along, and we can go back home.”

“It’s more complicated like that,” he replied, almost painfully. He sounded very, very tired. Sadie had discovered at an early age that when grown-ups didn’t really understand something, they’d say it was “complicated.”

“Some people are not that good at listening, preciosa.”

 

He was right. And so she didn’t tell. She showed.

And she had never been shy at admitting she was awful good at it.

The unexpectedness of her line of work amused, thrilled, and scared her a little bit. One day she could be in nearly arctic territories documenting the kidnapping of a crew of whale hunters by a faction of extremist ecologists, the next, she could be aboard a plane going God knows where after two men with three-letter badges insisted she was required for a “task of great scientific relevance.”

Sadie wasn’t particularly trustful of men with badges, but the sight of poorly concealed guns was one hell of a way to make someone change their mind.

And now she was sitting in a suffocatingly hot briefing room on an island in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by people who owned either a badge, a Ph.D., or both.

“…it’s crucial that you carry the vial at all times and be extremely careful. There’s more fungus than antidote, and it will take at least another month to synthesize more. Am I clear?” indicated a man with such small eyes that one could barely see the white in them. The way his lips tugged at his mouth downwards asymmetrically didn’t help much. All she knew was that he was the leader of this “expedition,” and his last name was something like Baxter or Dexter.

Rocks. She had left behind a great fucking story for a trip to photograph submarine rocks.

“Is something still unclear to you, Ms. Medina?” asked the captain after everyone had left the room but her.

“Yes, I think so…” she replied. Captain Baxter? Captain Dexter? “I think so, sir. I’m not sure about my role in all of this.”

“Ms. Medina, I can assure you’re entirely qualified for….”

“Sir, I know I am,” Sadie replied, perhaps a bit too bluntly. Overqualified, she would’ve wanted to add. “What I mean is, there are many colleagues of mine with excellent credentials who would jump at the chance to snap a picture of algae.”

“Really? Do you happen to know many wildlife photographers with military training, survivalist knowledge, and crisis management experience?” he retorted. This man’s attempts to be funny or sarcastic still sounded like a threat.

“Maybe, who knows? Still, why would you need…?”

“Ms. Medina, let me tell you something off the record. I don’t give a rat’s ass about those qualifications.”

While she did not appreciate being interrupted like that, there were words like “off the record” that piqued her interest.

“We’ve researched you thoroughly,” the captain continued emphatically, “and what was most impressive to us wasn’t your ability to constantly get in trouble, but your ability to each and every time find your way out. You’ve come out alive in situations you shouldn’t have been able to. That is why you’re here and not some Nat Geo intern.”

At this point, her instincts began telling her something was off. They weren’t telling her everything. Something about that speech the captain had just given her felt off-putting, but before she could try and dig for some more information, the man went around her.

“Trust me, this mission is worth your time.” Was the last thing he said before exiting the room, coming across a young soldier who saluted him.

“Captain Wexler, we are ready for departure as scheduled, sir.”

A speaker announcing the departure of the first raft caught her attention. 

“Wexler, then.” Sadie affirmed, leaving hastily for the main deck.

Only five people, including herself, left the ship in the raft. She noticed they were headed toward a large formation of rocks that was barely visible from their distance. As they drifted closer, she looked in awe at the porous, black surface of the structure that grew larger by the second until it towered at about fifty feet above their heads.

“It’s an entrance,” explained one of the two scientists on board, leaning closer to her. “See, it looks like it’s just rocks, but once we dive and get to the center, you’ll see it leads to a very complex cave system.”

Honestly, the idea of a virtually impossible-to-escape underwater cave system wasn’t appealing to Sadie. Yet, the several things she had found out to feel out of place had captured her interest. She was almost sure there was something else to all of this that they didn’t want her to know. Or anyone else, for that matter. The entrance was so small that two people, shoulder to shoulder, wouldn’t have been able to fit inside. They had to go in a single line: one soldier in front, the two scientists, Sadie in fourth, and another soldier behind her. It was impressive how well the rocks hid the entrance. They almost looked like the black petals of a flower that would close around them at any given moment. In less than fifteen minutes, there was no trace of sunlight. They could only go forward with the guidance of their hands, lamps, and directions from the surface via intercom. 

“In thirty-five feet, you’ll find yourselves at Point Alpha.”

Point Alpha, as shown in the map they had reviewed during the presentation, was an underwater cave with a pocket of air that made it possible for them to emerge and breathe normally while harvesting samples. However, they were strictly ordered to stay together under all circumstances.

Sadie felt odd photographing something so out of her usual field. Something that wouldn’t go anywhere and wasn’t trying to kill her.

Well, not exactly. One of the samples that had to be collected was a saucer-shaped fungus that thrived in the humidity between the rocks. However, if removed incorrectly, the spores could suppress the flow of oxygen in the bloodstream, eventually causing hypoxia and death in a little over five minutes. That was what the vial of antidote was for.

After moving forwards for about half an hour, the space started to become smaller and smaller until the only thing left before them was a breach in the wall. And there was light coming from it.

“Sunlight? I thought we were already a hundred feet below the surface.”

“No. Bioluminescent microorganisms.” Bluntly stated the other soldier. “And this, Ms. Medina, is your time to shine. Here, take this.”

He handed her a tiny square, barely bigger than her hand and only two inches wide, wrapped in a thin leather case. She took it and examined it, carefully placing the strap around her neck.

“A high-definition camera. State of the art. What we need is for you to get in there. Our 3D mappings show that about 400 meters in, it will become wide enough for you to move and take pictures of what’s in there. Take as many as you need until you’re sure you’ve covered every possible angle, and when you’re ready, let us know. We’re on channel three.” The soldier handed her a climbing rope and instructed her to secure it around her waist.

Sadie stared at the crawlspace, mentally measuring it before taking off the belt with what was left of the gear they’d given her, leaving her with just the neoprene suit. She was about to get in before changing her mind and removing the camera’s strap, wrapping the vial of antidote with its tiny injector, and tying it to her wrist. Taking a deep breath, Sadie knelt down and awkwardly dragged herself forward. She could barely fit. And still, she could feel the pointy edges of the rocks digging into her flesh, protected only by the thin suit.

The closer she was, the brighter the light shone until it was strong enough to light up the entire cavity. Finally, she reached the broader space they mentioned.

It was a beautiful grotto, just around five feet wide, full of stalactites of twisted shapes that fell from the ceiling like petrified chandeliers. However, the light wasn’t coming from them. It came from a structure in the middle of the space: a hollow mound of rock as tall as her knee. Sadie could only get on all fours if she wanted to reach it and avoid the stalactites. She peeked inside, realizing it led to a deep conduct that seemed to go on for miles and miles. With the absolute sound isolation the walls provided, water could be heard splashing at the end. Taking out the camera, she snapped her first picture of many. She captured the width and height of the rocky base, then another of the entire space for size comparison, including the stalactites that prevented her from moving further. For good measure, she tried doing a close-up of some familiar-looking fungus splotched along the walls. In about ten minutes, she was sure she had captured everything to see in the grotto.

“Well, then. I guess that’s all.” She said into the intercom, “It was beautiful, guys, but I can’t believe you made me drop a probable Pulitzer for this.”

With a breathless laugh, she dropped herself down again and began crawling backward.

“Guys? Do you hear me? I’m on my way back. Over” She repeated, hearing nothing but static. Of course, the intercom would fail. “It’s a bit harder to do this in reverse. Would you mind helping me out a bit, please? Over.” She insisted as her feet constantly got stuck in the rocks, softly tugging on the rope. Still no answer.  

“Yeah, well, fuck you too,” Sadie muttered when she finally felt her legs break free.

“Alright, I got the pictures, but I don’t think those were bioluminescent….” She stopped mid-sentence when she turned around to find the cave completely empty. There was nothing but the scattered remnants of the team’s scuba gear and the closed sample containers all over the floor. Sadie’s instincts went crazy again. Something was very wrong. She fought the urge to call out to someone, picked up one of the pocket knives, and advanced as quietly as possible, her heart thundering in her chest so heavily she could feel it in her throat.

Suddenly, a clinking sound made her flinch as a small blue prism fell on the trail a few meters ahead. She didn’t even have time to feel surprised before the entire cave filled with water in a matter of seconds, washing her away and slamming her against the same wall she’d just emerged from. Then, there was only darkness.

Darkness…and a language she hadn’t heard in a long, long time, since she was a little girl in the warm jungle of Chiapas.

#mcu namor #namor fic #namor #mcu fanfiction #mcu #namor x oc #tenoch huerta #talokan #namor fanfiction #aqua papi #black panther #black panther 2 #black panther wakanda forever #kukulkan #k'uk'ulkan #should've seen it coming since the trailer #I swear something inside of me changed after hearing him pronouce k'uk'ulkan #namor fanfic #namor x female oc

[14buddy22]

We Love You

Part 9!

Aaron Hotchner x Single Mom!reader

WC: 3229

Warnings: mentions of sex - (unprotected sex), mention of breeding kink, Infertility mention, pregnancy

a/n: There will be a one last part to this series (and it will be a lengthy one), but I'm also thinking of a possible Epilogue. I'm not really sure yet.

Series Masterlist // Masterlist

You and Aaron decided that you didn’t want a honeymoon, if you really needed to have some alone time, you could send the kids with Garcia and Spencer or your brother. You two saved the money that you would’ve spent on a honeymoon and decided that you would open a separate bank account that would be donated to all things vacation.

It was a rainy day and Aaron had a day off. Well, a day off from actually going into work. He got up in the morning, did some paperwork while the kiddos were playing. You walked into his office and coaxed him out into coming to sit with you at the table to pay some bills. 

You were looking at your paychecks, Aaron was definitely the breadwinner. You being a teacher, it was never about the money for you, only about helping change kids for the better, but with him being the Unit Chief of an FBI unit, you felt hopeless sometimes when you both got paychecks and were paying bills. 

Aaron noticed you were thinking about something, but he didn’t know what could be wrong. Usually you were singing or constantly talkin, he didn’t know how you could sing and talk when paying bills. But everything was always paid on time and paid correctly.

“What’s wrong, honey?”

“Nothing.”

You were looking at your paycheck compared to Aaron’s. You loved your job, you really do, you couldn’t care less about the money, but you didn’t know how Aaron felt. Your combined income was enough, more than some families make, you two aren't hurting. Aaron had lived in an apartment so most of his salary was just going into a savings account. 

You had thought about getting a second job to work over the summer to have additional income. Aaron never complained nor did he ever make you feel like your salary was enough, but you still felt like you weren’t contributing enough. 

“Am I good enough for you?” 

Aaron’s head shot up and said, “What?!”

You looked at him and Grace and came running into the kitchen. “Daddy! Daddy! Scary monster.” 

Your kids were watchin Scooby Doo. You were surprised she lasted as long as she did. He picked her up and said, “It’s okay. It’s okay, they’re not real. I promise.” He kissed her cheek and wiped her tears. Go play in the playroom. Daddy needs to talk to mommy.”

He put her down and she ran into the playroom. Aaron looked at you and said, “What’s going on?”

“My check, it’s nothing compared to yours. You’re the breadwinner and I feel like I’m not enough, you deserve someone who’s going to -”

“I’m going to stop you right there. No, I deserve you. I don’t deserve someone else because you’re everything I could ever want and more. I deserve you. You’re the one for me. I could care less about how much you make. And I don’t really make that much more than you. Honey, we’re more than financially stable. We’re okay. We have a beautiful house in which it’ll be paid off soon. We’re okay. You took your job because you love kids and you love making a difference in their life. I know that. Your job allows you weekends and summers off. You get to stya home with our kids when I’m gone. The FBI should owe me more money, but I can’t go to Strauss demanding more.”

You chuckled and looked at him. He reached out for your hand and you took it. 

“Your paycheck is fine. We get our bills paid, we have a retirement fund set up, each kid has their own college fund getting set up, and we have an account open for vacations. We’re okay. We budget very well. Too bad Strauss doesn’t have you. They’re always making budget cuts.”

“No one budgets better than me.”

“You and your spreadsheets, this is why I love you.”

He pulled you into a deep kiss and you grabbed the back of his head. You tugged at his hair and he let out a moan into your mouth. 

“Too bad we’re not 20 something with no kids. I’d take you right here and now.”

You laughed and kissed his cheek. You looked at your 4 children watching the movie and you smiled. He put a hand on your stomach and said, “Let’s finish paying these bills so then we can maybe talk about some other things. Maybe other things involve you, me, and a little one.” 

After paying bills and spending time with the kids. You and Aaron were watching some Netflix. You were watching a show your brother recommended. You were shocked he watched it. Grace and Frankie. You watched a few episodes and Aaron had been hooked. It was a feel good show that wasn’t talking about crime.

“I believe the young adults are doing this thing called, “Netflix and Chill.”

“I’m not Netflix and chilling with you. We’re Netflix and relaxing. The kids are still up, we can chill later.”

Aaron laid his head on your stomach and you were running your hands through his hair. You and Michael were never really clingy, you liked the occasional post-sex cuddle, but that was really it. However, your relationship with Aaron, you found each other to be extremely clingy. You didn’t know if it was due to the fact that you both had a relationship that your spouses got their lives taken away in a split second. In Aaron’s line of work, there was even less time you got to spend with him due to his job, so whatever time you did have, you were always with each other, because you knew it was possible that your family could be broken up, again, and that scared both you and Aaron.

“Did you always want a big family, Aaron?”

“Yes. I did. But, once Jack was born, I realized how little I was involved in his life due to my job. I couldn’t ask Haley to have another child because I knew how much more stressful her life would be if I gave her another Hotchner to take care of.”

“Would you want to have a baby with me?” 

Aaron’s head shot up and said, “Absolutely.”

“I know we’ve talked about it before, but I wanted to make sure you still did. Because talking about children and raising children are two different things. And you’re a great father. I don’t have doubts that you won’t love our children. I think we should talk with the kids about it though.”

You and Aaron weren’t getting any younger. You loved being a mom to yours and Aaron’s 4 kids, but on multiple occasions, you and Aaron found yourselves discussing the kids and then it was talks about a little one running around. One that solidified your love even more. A creation that was part you and part Aaron. One that would bond all the siblings together even more. 

There had been numerous times when your kids were asking you about a new baby, and they seemed to always do it around Aaron. Jack would start asking you and Aaron more and more all the time. However, there was one kid who tended to not get as happy as the rest of the siblings, and that was your oldest, Joey. He was 8, but he was always good at explaining himself.

Aaron sat up from his spot on top of you and said, “Let’s talk to Joey tonight. What do you say? Once we get the kids to bed?”

You pulled him closer to your body and kissed him. You both knew it was going to be a tough conversation to tackle, but, Joey was your son, tough conversations were going to come up, this had to be talked about because if it wasn’t you were afraid he’d show resentment to you and Aaron. And you didn’t want to live with that. You couldn’t live with that. 

Once you got the rest of the kids to sleep, you and Aaron sat on the porch swing outside. It was a place that brought comfort to everyone. Much more calming than sitting at the kitchen table. Around the campfire, you told your kids that you and Aaron were dating, then Aaron had a talk with all the kids about marrying you while you stayed after school to help set up an event. This was an important place, and the kids all knew that. 

“So, Dad and I want to talk to you.”

Joey sat inbetween you two and you opened your hand for him to grab at any point.

“Joey, your mom and I had been talking about maybe having another baby. But I know from being a big brother, that comes with a lot of responsibility. You know what my job is right?” 

Joey nodded as he said, “You’re an FBI agent. A profiler.”

“Exactly, so I study people’s behavior and I know I told your mom, brother, and sister that I’d never profile any of you, but sometimes I can’t help it. And, if there’s something that’s bothering you, as it seems there is, I want you to know that you can talk to your mom or I about it. Even if you don’t want to tell me, you can always go to your mom. Do you understand that?”

You grabbed Aaron’s hand behind your son’s back. Aaron was getting nervous, you could tell. Your son may have been about ready to tell you he doesn’t want another sibling. Most say it shouldn’t be up to their children, but you and Aaron needed that confirmation. Your three kids have each other. Jack, on the otherhand, had gone from being an only child to now being a brother to 3 other kids. 

The thought guilted you into thinking that your children didn’t want any more siblings because they wouldn’t be their mom’s and their biological dad’s. It would be their mom and Aaron’s kids.

Your son nodded and Aaron continued. 

“I’ve noticed that whenever Tyler, Jack, and sometimes Grace ask for a baby brother or sister, you kind of just go quiet. I want you to know that while sometimes babies can come unexpectedly, we’re trying to plan out if your mom and I want a baby. But, you seem hesitant. Is there a reason that you’re comfortable sharing with me? Otherwise, I can go inside and you and your mom can talk. And that’s okay too. Whatever you want to do, your mom and I will listen either way.” 

“No, I want you to stay.”

You watched your son shift closer to Aaron. Your heart ached at the sight before you. Your children had their own little bond with Aaron in a special way. Grace and him napped together - even though he constantly denied he was sleeping and that he was just “resting his eyes”. Tyler and Aaron bonded over their love of soccer and golf. Aaron had taken him to the range ever since he showed an interest when Aaron was watching the Masters. It took Joey a little while to find a bond. Joey had a particular interest in Aaron’s job but Aaron didn’t want him to get too close. It had taken a while for Aaron to tell you about Haley and about what George Foyet did to him, but he didn’t tell your children. Joey also found an interest in cooking, but with Aaron constantly coming and going because of cases, it was hard to always plan out a dinner when both of them were there. But on Father’s Day, they both shared a love for hiking, and it was a way to help make sure that Joey would always remember Michael. 

You looked at your son and said, “Go ahead, you can talk to us honey.” 

“It’s not that I don’t want you to have a baby. I do want another baby brother or sister.”

Aaron said, “Then what’s going on inside that smart little head of yours?”

“The new baby’s going to come and then everyone will love that baby more because it’s a baby from you and Dad. You’re married to him now and not Dad. You’ll forget about me. You’ll love me less because I’ll be the oldest of 5. You two will only be worried about the baby. This baby will be one that has the same mom that I do and won’t be the same Dad.”

Ahh, there it was… and it broke your heart. You had tears in your eyes. 

“Joey, I could never love you any less, no matter how many kids I have. You’re my first born. YOU are my baby. I love all my children the same way.”

Aaron had looked down at Joey and Aaron pulled him into him tighter. 

“Joey, I understand you think we’ll love a baby more because it’s one your mom and I created together, but I can promise you, that’s not going to change. Your mom will love you just as much if we have a baby.”

“Will you still love me just as much, Dad?”

“Joey, of course I’ll love you just as much as your sibling. I can promise you that.” 

“So, is it okay if your mom and I have a baby?” 

“Yeah.” 

He climbed onto Aaron’s lap and hugged him. Aaron kissed the top of his forehead and you of course captured that into a snapshot. That picture would make its way to Joey’s wedding (eventually). 

You let them sit together for a while before telling Joey it was bedtime. Aaron tucked him in and then walked to your shared bedroom. He locked the door and slowly walked over to you.

“So, what do you say, you want to start a family?” 

“I want this, we could raise a cute kid. Our whole family, together as one. 

“Yours, Mine, and Ours.”

Aaron laid on top of you and whispered, “The night is young.”

After an incredible night of sex, you didn’t realize how big of a breeding kink Aaron had. The thought of him putting a baby in you made him last longer, and keep going for a couple rounds. The next morning, you were sore and he was tired. You guess the old man couldn’t keep up. 

You chuckled to yourself watching him sleep past 8am. He never slept in, no matter how many times you told him it was okay. But he believed that if he slept in, the day was over, which it clearly was not. But after last night, and a few rounds in the middle of the night, you were glad he was sleeping in. You figured Grace would start getting up soon if she wasn’t up already. 

You slipped out of bed and walked into your bedroom. You bent down to look underneath the sink. You had been ovulating and it wasn’t the first night you two had had sex without a condom. Most of the time you two were good about it, but sometimes you needed each other so badly that it just slipped your minds. 

You were lookin for some pregnancy tests. You knew you weren’t pregnant from last night but you’d be needing them shortly. That made you ten times happier to realize that you’d be carrying Aaron’s baby. 

A few weeks had passed when you found yourself sitting in the bathroom, timer counting down from 10 minutes. Aaron was out of town on a case and you were about to find out if everyone’s lives were about to change in a minute and 22 seconds. 

You thought back to the time you found out you were pregnant with Joey. Michael had been so happy to become a father. It was something you and him had talked about. You knew Aaron was going to be happy to become a father, but you knew that came with a lot of doubts, would he want to leave his job? You wouldn’t let him, even if this baby is half his. 

The timer had gone off and you flipped the test around. Pregnant. You immediately began to tear up. You put a hand on your stomach and started talking to the little baby who couldn’t even hear yet. 

Then you went into planning mode, were you going to have to move? Would the boys be okay sharing a room, would Joey want to move to the basement? You weren’t sure about anything yet, you hadn’t even told Aaron or the kids. How were you going to tell Aaron?

You wanted to wait a few more weeks before telling Aaron. You wanted to surprise him in a good way, so you decided to have a onesie made that said, “Unit Chief in training.” 

Aaron had gotten home from a case late one night and made his way to the bedroom. You were laying in bed watching TV and he moved to come kiss you. 

“How was work?You’re in the 2nd week of school, is everyone starting to get settled in?”

“Yeah, it was great. How was your case?”

“You know, for as terrible as it was, we managed to save any further victims and save the little girl.”

“I’m glad, that’s really good.”

He took off his tie and he said, “You know, I was thinking, I know we were a little discouraged you weren’t pregnant yet, but let’s keep trying and if it doesn’t work, we’ll go to an infertility doctor, I’ll go with you. We’ll figure it out. And if we can’t have a child together, then that’s okay, because we already have 4 crazy kids. So, let’s try again. Tonight.”

Aaron leaned on top of you and started kissing you. 

“Aaron?”

“What?”

You grabbed the package from his side of bed and said, “You got a package today.”

“It can wait. I want to be with you. I don’t even remember what I ordered. Probably a new FBI shirt or something.”

“No, no, Aaron. It’s fine, come on, we can get back to it after you open it up and hang up your suit and then we can have sex.”

He leaned back on his heels and took the package. He opened it and pulled out the onesie. He read it and immediately looked at you then looked at the outfit. 

“Honey.”

“I’m pregnant Aaron. We’re having a baby.”

You were crying and he immediately wrapped you in a hug and kissed you. You had secretly been recording this reaction. Of course you’d cut out the spicy scene that took place prior but it was all worth it to get this reaction from your husband. You and him were so happy. You were having a baby. One that would be half you and half Aaron. 

Aaron leaned down and kissed your stomach. He held his hand over it and you placed yours on top. 

“Hi baby, it’s your daddy. We already love you so much. You’re going to be born into this crazy family with 4 older siblings. Your brothers and sister will love you. Your Uncle Sonny will love you and all your BAU aunts and uncles are going to love you so much. Grow nice and safe in mommy’s belly. Take your time and hurry up because I can’t wait to hold you in my arms. Daddy will always love you.”

Next Part!

#aaron hotchner x single mom!reader #aaron hotchner x reader #jack hotchner #aaron hotchner #criminal minds #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner fanfic

[thegildedcentury]

There’s always a certain degree of schadenfreude when one hears about yet another cryptocurrency or NFT scam imploding.  I’ve certainly indulged in it myself, but when I do I try to remind my smug ass that it’s important to remember the people now forced to watch their savings evaporate aren’t just dupes looking to get rich quick.  The reason these scams have exploded in popularity is largely due to the fact that investment options open to normal people have become so depreciated that putting money in them is an exercise in futility.  Bonds, CDs, hedge funds, all the usual more stable options open to small investors have ceased to yield any significant returns, and all this is happening as the real value of wages has remained stagnant for fifty years.  These factors combine to foster a situation where normal people living paycheck to paycheck who are simply looking for a life where they don’t have to spend every day living in fear of running out of money are forced to take desperate measures to get just one step ahead on the dismal capitalist treadmill they’re trapped on.  Risky investments become much more attractive when the entire financial system is weighed against you.  We like to imagine rich people being scammed out of their filthy lucre, but the truth is the overwhelming majority of those whom scammers prey on are people who are already in desperate circumstances: the poor, the sick, persecuted minorities, people who have been trapped in a cycle of poverty for generations.  Scammers prey on the desperate.  Scammers prey on hope.  I struggle to keep that in mind when I hear about the latest crypto boondoggle, that the people who have been wiped out are victims, and the ones who truly deserve our scorn are the predators who exploited them.

[bellatrixobsessed1]

A Dark Path

Part of my goth fic anthology thing. The theme is bats because I like them. I am legally obligated to open this anthology with bats.

Summary: Azula, cracking under the pressure of business, law school and isolation, decides instead to become a chiropterologist and study bats with Mai. 

They are social creatures, bats are. They take to the night on leathery wings. They are never lonely. How can they be when there are so many of them? They fill the darkening sky, a thick, flapping cloud. Silhouetted against a vivid gold-orange backdrop they go about their business. And they go about it with support and companionship.

She has to go about hers in solitude, underloved and underhelped. 

Tonight’s business is a few shots of coffee and a thesis statement to finish. Father, a year or two gone from her life, still infringes on her life. His voice in her head accompanies her on most of her endeavors and leaves her feeling thrice as lonely as she would without it. It pushes her and urges her to work harder when she is already expending as much energy as she possibly can. She is already drained and dull from a workload that reaps all of her energy from her. And still his voice berates her.

It tells her that her new piercings and tattoos are ugly. 

That she wouldn’t have defiled herself so if she had, had a stable relationship with him. She is just as sorry and depressing to observe as anyone else from the leather and stud crowd that she now runs with.

The loudly droning guitars and the bassy vocals at rock shows nestled deep within obscured, unsuspecting alleys help to drown his voice out. The flashing lights and neon fishnet stockings of cybergoth shows in abandoned factories blind expectations away. The latter isn’t particularly her scene but Toph and Teo rather enjoy that. The former is more to her liking she and Mai frequent those shows. Date nights are spent under clouds of cigarette smoke and gloomy lyrics played in minor keys. Mai vows to join the ranks of June and the Rough Rhinos in the music world. 

Azula has her doubts about that, but she keeps them to herself. She doesn’t think that anyone is going anywhere anytime soon. 

They don’t have wings like the bats do. 

They can’t fly away from the oppressive chains of Caldera City. 

She studies bats in her spare time. 

They are fascinating creatures. 

Misunderstood creatures. 

That is, perhaps, their allure. They are quiet for the most part. They aren’t vicious or aggressive, mostly they keep to their own. And yet people see fit to make up all sorts of rumors and horror stories about them. 

hey see fit to fear them.  

Father says that it is a waste of time. That she can devote her studying to things that actually matter, things that will create a future for her.  Business and economics, politics and public speaking. Law school.

These things hold their appeal, particularly in paycheck. But they are grueling and they have stolen away her childhood and social life. Business and economics are dreadfully boring, they make her boring and unrelatable. Sure she enjoys the analytics and the challenges that the subjects provide her mind with, but numbers and graphs become monotonous and after a while she is practically doing the same thing over and over again. 

Law school got mighty depressing really quickly. She enjoyed the challenges and the intellect but listening to countless stories of people being victimized, sometimes violently had begun to take its toll. The world became hideous and horrible. Father had berated her for her sensitivity--he had thought that she was stronger than that. And she had already wasted time switching majors once. 

Politics, public speaking had been enjoyable for quite a long time. She had enjoyed the way that it stimulated her mind. Enjoyed the ways that politics and public speaking have allowed her to demonstrate her talents. 

Father was proud and he stayed proud for years, endorsing her and sponsoring her although she hadn't particularly needed his support. Her speeches, her debates, her merit, and motivation were elevating her status on their own. 

But politics and public speech had broken her. After several years in the field smear campaigns and general stressors--oppressive expectations among them--have done their part to tear her apart. Ripping at her self-esteem and confidence until she couldn't recognize herself. 

And where was father? 

Overseas.

Pretending like he didn't know the situation and like he didn't know her. Crying and shaking...panic attacks? Couldn't be his Azula. His level-headed, calculated Azula. 

She supposes that, in due time. She could have recovered. Could have spun it in a way that makes her seem qualified to represent citizens of Caldera City; she can empathize, she understands mental strife and the importance of alleviating it. She could have built herself back up. Eventually Father would forget that blight on her track record, that speckle of imperfection.

But she couldn't. 

And there is a part of her that doesn't want to. 

She could her pushed forward, continued making a secure but hectic life for herself navigating the complexities of the political world. And maybe that would have suited her. Politics and lies are so heavily intwined. Empty promises and careful manipulations. That's all she is good for, so Zuko and uncle and damn near everyone else says... 

But she had grown tired if the noise. Tired of claws and fangs ready to dig in at the slightest misstep, slip up, or sign of mental distress. That is the games. A mess of tigers and jaguars waiting to pounce. 

And so she has chosen wings and crinkly noses. She has chosen bats.  And she promises herself that this is her final decision, her final major career change. She will stop being so fickle and directionless. 

She tried not to be too terribly hard on herself given that she has been trying to shape her life around everything but her own thoughts and desires. Of course she had bounced from one ill-suited thing to the next. 

This...she looks up at the dusk horizon. This fits much better, it gives her a chance to nurture her mind, to analyze and hypothesize. To form theories and connect dots. It does so just as effectively and readily as any stock graph or spreadsheet could. But it does so in a way that enamors and entices her. 

Most of the bats have made their way away by now. A handful of them still linger, one or two of them have bright bands on their legs. With luck, those ones will bring back some migration pattern data for her to add to this thesis. 

"How's the thesis coming along?" Mai asks. 

"Well enough, I suppose. Have you gotten a chance to look at the newer data we've collected?" 

"A little bit, yes." She finds a seat next to Azula, her own collection of facial piercings catch in the sunlight. And when she waves her hand, the one on her index finger throws light right back at the sun. 

Azula tucks her notebook and pen back into her backpack. "I suppose I can call it a night." 

"I'll say. How many all nights have you pulled for this thing? I thought that yous said you wouldn't do that anymore." 

"I might as well, were already staying up late to go to those rock shows." 

"Thats leisure." Mai shrugs. "Doesn't take as much energy. There's a difference." 

"Tell that to Jet." 

The man had gotten well and knocked on his ass over a guitar pick after a night of moshing. 

"We stay away from that crowd." Mai shrugs. "Doesn't apply to us." 

Azula returns the shrug. "I disagree, this is much more relaxing." She lays back and watches as the last of the stragglers disappear into the night. "It's warm. Quiet too." She pauses. "And I enjoy watching the bats."  

"Fair enough. But just because they're nocturnal, doesn't mean that you are." 

"I've spent the night here before." 

"On purpose or by accident." Mai quirks a brow. 

"I might have fallen asleep last night." 

"So you've been here all day?" 

"I took a lunch break. But other than that, yes." 

Mai rolls her eyes. "I guess I can never say that you aren't dedicated." 

Azula fidget with the ruby bat pendant around her neck. Mai offers a slight smile, "you really like that pendant font you." 

She nods. "Yes. Thank you for getting it for me." Sometimes when she needs to she can curl her fingers around it and recall the night that it was given to her. The night that Mai used it to propose. 

That had been the final straw. That had been when father decided that he wanted nothing to do with her. Agni forbid she has any distractions at all from the career he hadn’t even wanted her to pursue. 

And, of course, it was all Mai’s fault. Mai is the one who showed up with a sleeve of skull tattoos and dyed hair and led her down this path. As if she couldn’t come to her own conclusions and make her own decisions. 

Evidently, the bats had done more to lead her astray; there is, she must say, an aesthetic pipeline from bats to what she is now. 

"Are we still thinking about a cave wedding?" 

"Absolutely." Mai replies. 

“Which one?” There are several that she has in mind, including the one right behind them. 

“We should go on a nationwide caving tour and then decide.” Mai replies. 

“Yes, I suppose that, that would be wise. I don’t think that size will matter. I can’t imagine that anyone from my family will show up.”

“Don’t say that.” Mai mumbles. “You and Zuko have been getting along well enough recently and Iroh will probably warm up to you after Zuko does.” 

“Perhaps.” Frankly she has gotten plenty used to being lonely, so much so that she is almost uncomfortable with the prospect of leaving her solitude. It is a somber place to be but it is familiar and someone has to stereotype the goths to make up for TyLee’s complete subversion. 

“You going to spend another night here or do you want to head home? I don’t think that the bats are going to be coming back anytime soon.”

“Eleven.” She informs Mai. “Usually these ones start to trickle back in at eleven, just before midnight. And then some of them will go out again for another hour or two.” At least that is the patter that she has been observing. And compared to other data, the behavior doesn’t seem to be atypical. 

“So are we just going to bat watch until midnight?”

“That doesn’t sound like a bad date. We can go pick up dinner and have a bat watching picnic. I can wrap up my thesis tonight and be done with it.”

“Alright, but only because that will give you more free time in the long run.”

Although it certainly isn’t what she had envisioned for herself at all, not even slightly, it isn’t a bad life, this new one that she has begun creating for herself. It is slower, she has time to appreciate it. Although her clothes have gotten darker, the rest of her life has become more vibrant. She finds that she can feel again. That she can live again. 

There is a bleak darkness to this lifestyle, but has nothing on the drab darkness of her old one. At least there is a romance, a poetry to this darkness. There is choice and freedom. 

And, really, she doesn’t mind the dark when there is moonlight that she can stand under, when the moon silhouettes leathery wings. 

Perhaps one day she won’t be so lonely. One day she’ll have company as abundant as the bats keep.

For now she has Mai and TyLee.

And goals that she actually has a passion for.

#Avatar The Last Airbender #Azula #Mai #Azula/Mai #Goth #Fanfiction #Anthology #One Shot

[blackleopardgirl]

yea i don't care

  They are upset that their demographic isn’t able to receive privileges anymore. Men of other races, people of other races in general, and women can scale up in society and this makes them upset. They can’t impress women anymore with their wages, women don’t want them anymore because they aren’t attractive, women simply don’t need them in a literal sense to live with them and they don’t like them. Men aren’t able to feel powerful or needed in society. This makes them want to drop out of society. 

  This is why they blame feminism, diversity hires, women, and their “behavior” as they call it which just means that women aren’t interested in them in dating or life. Women don’t obsess or worship them anymore, women usually just care about their own wants/needs and so this makes them angry because they still care about women. They are also angry because they were trained that women were help mates and people who NEED them, but when these women don’t want them and mock them online it bothers them because no one wants to feel unwanted or undesired. 

Do I care? I tried to, I tried to worry about how they're doing and how they're feeling, but they're genuinely awful people. The way they speak about us and don’t care about us unless we ACT the way they want us to, it’s all about them. They don’t mutually like us, they only like or respect us if we’re attractive or as I stated before, behave the way they want us to, and that always means that we should stay in the background and let them tell us what to do. They blame us for having physical appearance standards, yet they’ve ALWAYS had physical appearance standards, for choosing men who have a degree or a stable career, yet we can’t raise a family off of chocolate coins, you need a lot of money to raise a baby, love won’t suffice. They blame us for divorce yet they get mad when we actually are choosing the men we want to date and possibly get married to and have kids with carefully, which just means that they’re mad that we aren’t choosing them. Surprise! It's always only about them. They wouldn't be this angry if they were dating women they wanted to date. 

Then they get mad at women who just don’t want to date, get married, or have any kids. They aren’t willing to do half of the work in the household, they still want YOU to work entirely in the home and take care of the grocery shopping, dishes, cooking, cleaning, purchasing the children’s items, school supplies every year, kids clothes, shoes, coats. They don’t plan doctor's and dentists visits, and they complain that they’re too tired when they come home from work to help you with the kids yet YOU most likely will also have had to work all day and still take care of the kids after 5 pm. They want you to ‘submit’ and cook for them, essentially serve them yet when you neglect your own self-care because you know, DUH, you’re caring for EVERYONE ELSE and you can’t care for yourself you will gain weight, not have your regular hair, nail, facial appointments. You won’t have any money for those appointments anymore because your kids will cost too much money and remember: he WANTED you to stay at home with your family, so you have to rely on his dumb low-paying paycheck! Now he doesn’t like you anymore and he’s complaining that you’re not in the mood to have sex as much, not to mention that your body probably won’t be as sexy as it was when you were in your 20s because kids! Aging, and lack of time and money to care for yourself as you did when you had kids. So then he cheats and if you try to get a divorce you’ll still be blamed and suffer because you’ll have the kids during the week. After all, he’s never had to do the laundry or grocery shop, but you were the problem the whole time. Yeah, I don’t care that* much that they’re having these issues, especially when they blame us for everything. They genuinely don’t care about our lives or our side. They literally say that they want us for silence, sex, and sandwiches. They don’t deserve a loving wife and kids. They don’t deserve a kind woman who will sacrifice her time, body, and health to have their babies. 

[elimagdasoc-blog]

17-January-2024

I'm scared to be alone and lonely. I used to be comfortable with solitude, but now, I'm not. I don't like the way I'm feeling right now; it's really heavy. I'm crying, but I don't know why. Is this a sign of mental illness? I'm not sure. What I am sure of is that I'm sad right now. I know God; I believe and trust in Him. But, at the same time, I'm aware of what I'm feeling. I suppose this is what it feels like - you might seem okay on the outside, but inside, you're empty

Perhaps it's because I'm not financially stable yet, and I want to get married, but I haven't been able to save. We're still paying bills and loans, living paycheck to paycheck. I worry about not wanting to be a burden to my fiancé, especially since I was unemployed for six months last year. I feel like I haven't contributed enough to our expenses. I wish I was a college graduate. Maybe it wouldn't mean much, then I could take any job that life has to offer. Or, I wish I could be more like my best friend. Even though she's not a college graduate like me, she's much wiser, and job opportunities come easily for her. But I’m not jealous of her. In fact, I’m proud of her I saw how she went through and what she is right now. She inspires me to become better everyday. She drew me closer to God.

I'm aware that I'm anxious and constantly worrying because I want things to happen quickly. but, I understand that God's timing is always perfect. I just don’t want to disappoint the people around me. It feels like I'm carrying a burden and facing high expectations for myself.

I love Al. He's my answered prayer. I always thank God for giving Al to me. I don't know what I've done to deserve him. He's so much more than I have prayed for – a non-alcoholic person, a home buddy with no vices, who just likes to play games all the time. When I decided to bring myself to church regularly, he came along without hesitation. I'm his first girlfriend, and probably the last one because, hey! we were already engaged last December. As mentioned earlier, he's my fiancé. I cannot imagine my life without him. He's way more precious to me than anything else in life. I love him, and I always will.

I'm writing this blog because no one knows about this site, and perhaps I just want to vent out my feelings and have something to look back on once things go my way.

I pray to God to align my plans according to his will. I trust God's perfect time.

[manonblaqkbeak]

Sugar, sugar

(genuinely hate coming up with titles lol)

this is just rowaelin being pining idiots, one of my fave tropes for day 11--delayed love confession

just a note, the lifestyle in this fic is more of a background note and doesnt really take centre stage in this fic. it’s one ive been tempted to write for a while tbh but didnt really get around to it until now

cw: very, very light smut (like barely non existent, but just in case), a lil bit of swearing

enjoy! :)

3k words (officially my longest fic, yay!)

Every thought in Aelin's mind was blank. She trudged through her apartment that she shared with Nehemia, absentmindedly kicking off her heels that Rowan purchased for her months ago. Then the light jacket she wore joined the shoes, the fabric was perfectly soft and perfect for the autumn chill.

It was yet another piece of item that Rowan purchased for her. A lot of the things she had know were thanks to Rowan, either from his own wallet or from the biweekly allowance he sent her—a generous allowance that was a thousand times better than her weekly paycheck from the bookstore she'd been working at since she turned twenty-two; her business degree had turned out to be useless and so she turned to the bookstore that had been her stable job for three years.

Aelin barely touched her weekly wage now, it was practically buried underneath the money the Rowan gave her.

Because Rowan Whitethorn, thirty-five and a successful CEO who was well known, was her sugar daddy. Had been now for fourteen months. But he was more than that, more than just a man that paid her to spend time with him. He respected her, was loyal to her, listened to her and responded with actual sentences instead of a word or two like other men she had dated. He was charming, didn't treat her like she was nothing but arm candy, and she knew him so well, as he knew her, and each fortnight she sometimes forgot their whole arrangement, but she was sharply reminded when she received the notification from her bank that the two and a half thousand dollars that Rowan sent her was now in her savings account.

When she agreed to their arrangement after several get-to-know you dates, Rowan had wanted to give her three and a half grand every week, and gods Aelin had been tempted because she had never had so much money in her life, but told him that it was far too much and negotiated.

Two and a half thousand was the lowest that Rowan was willing to go, and even though Aelin only knew him for two weeks at that point, she could tell that he would not budge, so she agreed to the amount.

The first time that money had landed in her account, Aelin had thought that maybe she had imagined the whole thing, but the money was a sharp reminder of what she know was—a sugar baby. Those words still didn't feel like they applied to her.

And he still spent money on her when they spent time together. Just last week he gifted her with diamond earrings in the shapes of roses with a necklace to match. She wore them tonight, not because he bought them for her but because she genuinely loved the pieces.

Needing something sweet—despite the fact she had only finished her chocolate hazelnut gelato twenty minutes ago—she dug through her fridge and found the brownies that Nehemia had baked the other day. She told herself that she would leave some for her long-time friend, but Aelin really doubted that would happen.

Aelin relished in the cold air of the fridge as she found the new can of whipped cream on the top shelf. The fridge was one of the first things she purchased with the money she was now being gifted with (and after that came a new washer and dryer, a dish-washing machine and television. Almost everything in her apartment was brand new now, the food were actual brands instead of the generic, tasteless shit. She had bras that fit her properly and were so damned comfortable that she forgot she was wearing them half the time).

The old fridge was a cheap hunk of junk that she and Nehemia purchased off Facebook marketplace for a hundred dollars, it barely kept things cold, but with expensive rent and bills and general life things, Nehemia and her couldn't afford anything better.

Which was how she ended up in this situation. Picking up more shifts barely gave them anything extra, because the economy right now in Terrasen was shit. Nehemia had made a joke about needing sugar daddies, and Aelin, knowing that Nehemia could never really do such a thing, had decided that maybe it was a good idea.

Nehemia had told Aelin that she was insane for pursuing such a thing, and that she had only been joking, but Aelin was not and that she could handle herself if things went wrong.

Nehemia had told her not to do anything, but Aelin was determined and started her search. It had taken a while to find a website that was genuine and didn't make her feel like she had to scrub her eyes out with bleach.

She created her page in private, because she not only was Nehemia against the idea, but so was Elide and Lysandra—she didn't dare tell Aedion what she was doing. Her cousin could be an overprotective pain in her ass at times, and Aelin was very well aware that if Aedion caught wind of what she was doing, he would have locked her up in her room without any type of device so she couldn't go forward with her plan.

She appreciated their concern, she did, but she was a consenting, tax-paying adult, and if she wanted to use her time to get paid spending time with a rich man, then Aelin was allowed to do exactly that.

It wasn't prostitution, she had looked it up, because it was the sugar babies that had the power and so that was how it went with her and Rowan.

Aelin didn't even have sex with Rowan until it was the sixth month anniversary of her and Rowan's...relationship (and gods, it was the best sex Aelin ever had. Rowan was a generous and completely unselfish lover).

He was the first one she came across on the site and almost drooled down herself when she saw his picture. Silver hair, pine-green eyes, a beautiful tattoo down the length of his left arm and tanned skin, he was stupidly attractive and only ten years old than her.

Aelin messaged him first only after being on the site for ten minutes, deciding that surely he was the best one and that she needn't bother to look at any other candidates.

They hit it off straight away, and after deciding on a restaurant to meet at, Aelin had informed Nehemia of the matter, which she was promptly met with question after question: why can't a thirty-four year old man find someone his own age? Is he one of those men that can't date a woman five minutes older than him because of some stupid made up reason? How do you know for certain that it's him in the picture? What if he's cat-fishing you? What if he's a freak, or a killer? What if he's just pretending to be rich to kidnap you? What if, what if, what if?

And so after a heated discussion, Nehemia had come along on her date-that-wasn't-really-a-date and sat a few tables away from her and Rowan, watching them—especially him—the entire time like a hawk.

Aelin had completely forgotten that her friend was there, so enraptured by Rowan and what he did and how he saw life.

It had been fourteen months of seeing Rowan and genuinely enjoying spending time with him and weeks ago, she realised that she wanted it to be something more. That she had come to care for him, not because of the money, but purely because it was Rowan and he made her feel seen and he wasn't afraid of her, because she had once been told by an ex that she could be too much and that he couldn't handle all her baggage.

Aelin wanted a life with him.

So Aelin told Rowan she loved him when he dropped her off tonight after their dinner and a movie date, telling him how she felt, and he had said thank you. He gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek and went home, leaving behind the pine-and-snow scent of him.

Aelin really wanted to find a hole to crawl into and die.

She was scarfing down her third brownie when Nehemia's bedroom door opened, her friend clad in an old matching pj set, her slippers shuffling across the tile.

“What happened? Are you okay?” her friend asked upon seeing Aelin's guttered look. Her dark brows furrowed. “Did that bastard hurt you? If he did, I'll—”

“He didn't do anything,” Aelin interrupted her friend. Taking the food, Aelin planted herself on the teal blue velvet sofa Rowan gave her for Yulemas last year, ignoring the scent of not just him, but of them both from when he came over after work just the other day with pizza and a DVD that she insisted that she watched because it was too good not to, when they forgot all about the movie as Rowan buried himself inside her, leaving hickeys all over her neck that she had to cover up with thick concealer.

Nehemia joined her on the couch, her friend momentarily forgetting for now that she had walked in on her and Rowan just moments after they finished, muttering under her breath in Eyllwe as she glared at them defiling the couch, and gave her a look that Aelin knew that Nehemia would listen to every word that came out from her.

And when Aelin was done recounting the story, all Nehemia could come up with was, “Oh.”

“Yes, 'oh,'. I've probably fucked up the whole thing. So don't be surprised if I call you on your lunch break tomorrow telling you he's broken things off.”

“Aelin, I don't think he will. I know that I'm not the biggest fan of your...situation—”

“I'm aware,” Aelin said, cutting her friend off. “You still won't let me buy you a new mattress, even though yours is hard as a brick and lumpy as hell. I've told you that you can pay me—”

“Aelin,” Nehemia said, “we're not talking about mattresses right now. As I was saying, I doubt he'll break things off because I've seen the way he looks at you. I still think he's too old for you, but he cares for you. You probably just caught him by surprise.”

“How does he look at me?” Aelin was observant, but sometimes when she was with Rowan, all her observation skills went out the window.

“Like he loves you,” Nehemia said, no hint of doubt in her voice.

Aelin sighed, her feelings slowly starting to crush her. “I guess I'll just have to take your word for it.”

Sighing once more, Aelin put the food back in the fridge, showered and went to bed, forgoing her usual night texting ritual with Rowan.

She really wasn't looking forward to tomorrow.

X X X X X X

Rowan couldn't concentrate, which wasn't a good thing, since his job dealt with having to concentrate all the time. But no matter what mind-focusing techniques he did, he couldn't stop thinking about Aelin.

Couldn't stop thinking about how she said she was in love with him. How her beautiful eyes had been sparkling when she said those words to him. And how the light in them dimmed when he said thank you and kissed her on the cheek, telling her that he would talk to her later. But he hadn't texted her, nor did she.

I love you, Rowan. I'm in love with you.

Thank you. He really couldn't believe that was what he said. Felt like an utter fool and a bastard as he realised he probably crushed her heart. Aelin didn't like being vulnerable, and she had been when she said those words and he had gone and fucked it all up.

Rowan loved Aelin, he did, but he truly wasn't prepared for those words. He loved how on the weekends they would be up at one am, baking chocolate goodies, dancing in the quiet kitchen, humming quietly to Aelin's classical music playlist, with her wearing not the nightgowns that he loved, but one of his old hoodies.

He didn't think that he would get along with her so well once they met, thinking that their online interactions were nothing but a fluke. He was moments away from deleting the profile because he didn't actually create it, but Fenrys had, his friend grumbling that he needed a girlfriend, with Rowan arguing that creating a profile on a sugar daddy site was not dating but probably the opposite, when Aelin messaged him.

His life-long friend didn't listen, much to Rowan's annoyance—but he didn't grab his phone out of his friends hand; Rowan blamed it on the several whiskys he had downed by that point.

Aelin bewitched him on that first meet up. She was intelligent as hell and funny, and creative and beautiful. He was aware of why she was on the date with him, but he didn't care, just as long as he got to see her again.

Fourteen months later and Rowan was still bewitched. He wanted to be with her on a permanent basis, but wasn't completely sure how to take that step.

Clearly, Aelin had taken that step for them, and Rowan was the worlds biggest moron.

I love you, Rowan. I'm in love with you.

Thank you.

Groaning, Rowan turned away from his computer and looked at the skyline, ignoring the buildings to instead watch the puffy clouds drift by.

Aelin loved watching the clouds, loved stargazing, loved questioning about the universe and what the skies held.

He never really paid any of that stuff attention, not until he met her.

Rowan didn't want to lose her, didn't want her to think that he was about to break up with her over this. He had to see her, so he grabbed his keys and wallet, told his secretary to hold his calls for the rest of the day, and went to visit Aelin.

X X X X X X

It had been an usually busy day for a Wednesday and Aelin was glad for her lunch break as she trudged up to the roof of the shopping centre. She wasn't really allowed up here, but she wanted some fresh air and to feel the sun against her skin as she sat down and dug into her lunch—fast food, unfortunately for her, because she was so frazzled from last night that she completely forgot about making a pack lunch.

Rowan hadn't called her, or texted her. Not even an email had been sent her way.

Aelin hated that she felt so damned mopey. She was an independent woman, but gods, even a good morning text would have been fine.

She finished her lunch, popping several mints into her mouth to get rid of the onion taste, when the roof door crashed open and a familiar hulking figure came into view.

He must have spoken to Elide to find her here.

Aelin's brow furrowed. “Rowan, what are you doing here?” Oh gods, surely he wasn't going to break up with her, she still had hours to go; there'd be no way she could work if she had tears in her eyes.

Taking her hands in his, Aelin stood up. She steeled herself against whatever he was going to say.

“I love you, Aelin. I'm in love with you, too,” Rowan said, his eyes soft and full of genuine love. Aelin's heart shot up into her throat. “I want a life with you. I want us to buy a home, one that has warmth and character, and a big garden. I want a dog. And kids too, if you want, I know that you've never mentioned it, but if you don't want any then that is completely fine. I want to support you in whatever endeavors you want to take, and if you ever want to go back to university, then I'll support you, or if you want to find a way to use your business degree, I'll help you with that, too. Whatever you want Aelin, I'll give it to you, as long as you're by my side, I'll be happy.”

Aelin was silent for so long that Rowan thought that maybe he shocked her into silence. But eventually, she smiled, one that was dazzling in its beauty that it took his breath away.

“You love me?”

“I do, Aelin, I love you.”

She kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”

Rowan groaned at the amusement in her tone, in her eyes. “You're never going to let me live that down, are you?”

She smirked. “Definitely not. It'll be a nice story to tell our children...one day. For now, I think we should contend with being proper significant others.”

Rowan nodded, smiling. “I like the sound of that.”

“Good, because I need to get back to work, since I'm no longer accepting your allowances. I won't deny the use of your credit card, but other than that, you are no longer my sugar daddy.”

It was Rowan's turned to smirk, and it was the one that made her core clench. “How about I be 'daddy' instead?”

Aelin snorted, even as she clenched around nothing again. Smacking his arm lightly, Aelin kissed him. “Only if you behave,” she said against his lips, “and now I really need to go back to work.”

Rowan walked her back, their fingers laced together, and as she turned to say goodbye, Aelin said, “I'll see you later, daddy.”

Rowan groaned, and it took everything in him not to take her hand and into his car to have his wicked way with her.

By the time he thought of a response, Aelin was already back to work, helping a customer with an impressive stack of books in her arms.

But she knew he was still there, because the way she swayed her hips to the counter was all for him, and when she saw him watching her, Aelin winked, making Rowan's heart flutter in his chest.

He really did love her. And he would live with her teasing him for the rest of his life, just as long as she was with him.

#rowaelin #rowaelinmonth #my work

[emo-and-confused]

Headcannons based on @cb28 ‘s “ceo of many hotels tommy and hotel receptionist tubbo” au art (includes dysfunctional sleepy bois) (awesamdad)

-techno, wilbur, and tommy are phil’s kids

-(the three kids are adopted, techno was adopted when he was five, wilbur was adopted when he was four, and tommy was adopted when he was seven)

-techno is older than wilbur by two years and wilbur is older than tommy by eight years

-phil is this rich businessman. techno is some powerful leader. wilbur is a famous songwriter.

-then tommy owns a hotel

-he's still like 16/17 but he owns and manages it

-techno is the oldest therefore favorite and heir to whatever money and property phil owns

-tommy is least favorite. phil ignored him.

-then one day phil just gave him money and said "stop being a disappointment" so he started his hotel at 15

tommy: i’m going to build a hotel in rage

-then best friend tubbo who works there and is nice to tommy

phil: oh, theseus, my son. come, i was just telling my companions about your ho- who is that?

tommy: this is tubbo.

tubbo: hello :)

-wilbur being the normal brother and treating him like a normal person and taking him and tubbo to hang out and be kids

wilbur: tommy, let’s go get ice cream

tommy: wilbur, ive got things to do, paper work and, and shippments and-

wilbur: tommy.

tommy:

wilbur: let’s go. bring tubbo.

-tommy feels like he has to prove something to phil

-he also feels like he might be able to earn attention from him. that if he works hard enough phil will be proud of him

-wilbur’s music is what makes phil pay attention to him, but when he was a kid phil said his music was never going to be a stable source of income and actively encouraged other future job choices. this only made wilbur more focused on his music

-both tommy and wilbur feel the need to prove themselves

-tommy meets sam when starting up his hotel, and immediately gets attached

-sam is basically his guide, even after building the hotel. sam saw the child and went “yeah he needs parental guidance” and continued to stay in contact with tommy

-tommy is the one who gives sam the creeper mask. because sam is always working on construction and stuff and he's always inhaling debris and tommy likes minecraft so he gives it to him. sam adores it and wears it all the time.

-tommy totally calls him sam nook

sam: hey tommy! just building your hotel. i do need some more things for construction though... could you ship them over to me?

tommy: y'know this reminds me of a game my brother made me play over the holidays...

sam: ... uh,,,, what?

tommy: animal crossing! that's it. you're totally tom nook.

sam: alright, tommy.

-[over emails]

]Mr. Danger Careful Innit,

Could you supply more building materials?

Sincerely, Sam Nook

]Mr. Samuel Nook,

sure.

Sincerely, Tommy

-sam gets a very official hand written contract (the same one as the lore)

-he gets it and just goes with it (there’s a more real contract but tommy values his handwritten one more)

-sam signing it and tommy cheering and immediately going to text phil

sam: and... there you go! signed. :)

tommy: really??? ... YES!!! LETS GO!!! (calls phil and tells him)

-then tommy hanging up and smiling, then looking back over to sam.

tommmy: (clears his throat) um. my apologies. that was very unprofessional. thank you very much, sam.

-tubbo is the receptionist for the main hotel in the chain, (the one tommy is constantly at) but he basically becomes sort of a manager

-tommy sends him off to do multiple jobs throughout the day, and tubbo does them with only little complaint

tubbo: you know i’m not room service right?

tommy: i don’t remember asking

tubbo, already holding the room order: this isn’t my job tho-

tommy: and yet here you are, doing the job

-tommy pays him more than everyone else though, but tubbo doesn’t know that because tommy won’t let him see the usual staff paycheck

-tubbo is half a year older but his parents are constantly away on buisness trips so he is often home alone and has to take care of himself

-tommy is not good with showing his affection, the only one in his family to do so was wilbur. phil just kind of threw money at him on holidays and ignored him the rest of the time, and while techno was a lot more attentive to him, he wasn’t the best at affection either

-when tommy started making money with the hotel, (how very successful hotel chain), to show tubbo he cared he just started offering to buy him things

tommy, upon finding out tubbo likes bees: you know i could buy you a bee sanctuary if you’d like?

tubbo: tommy no-

-tubbo teaches him that money isn’t the only form of showing you care. it’s a long process

tommy: so you’re saying i shouldn’t buy sam a private engineering lab for his birthday?

tubbo: i know for a fact sam wouldn’t know how to accept such a gift and that he’d rather you close the hotel for a day and take him to play laser tag

tommy: ...okay but what if i do that and buy him a private engineering lab?

tubbo:

-the dream team are bell hoppers.

-tommy gets hate for being that young and successful

-the dream team are like “stfu i'm proud to be working for a very successful 16 yo how dare you" and go off on every rich person who says something about tommy’s age

they're still streamers. they just don't tell tommy. (tommy totally knows tho, he’s a 16 year old kid who plays minecraft and animal crossing, ofc he knows they’re video game streamers)

dream: hey tommy-

tommy: yes? is there a reason you're barging into my office?

dream: .. is that... animal crossing music? are you playing on a switch?

tommy: no!! i'm signing very important and legal documents!!! if you have nothing to say, get out!!

dream, to sapnap and george: he’s totally playing animal crossing.

-tommy makes them greet people at the doors and carry peoples bags purely because they’re famous. they don’t know this though

-they don't think tommy knows. tommy and tubbo think it’s hilarious. tommy hints it all the time that he knows but they just think he's being a kid

-quackity is on sam’s building/contracting team

-even after the hotel is built, q comes in to "check up" on the building with sam. and they "make sure nothing is going wrong with the building"

-they really just want to make sure tommy is okay under so much pressure

-wilbur totally has tubbo’s schedule and knows when tubbo’s on break, he can usually be found with tommy in tommy’s office

-wilbur will just barge in and be like “okay let’s go, you need a break”

-one time wilbur came in while sam and quackity were there

wilbur, barging in: kay, tommy, tubbo, let’s-

sam, mid lecture with tommy: you can’t keep doing this!

quackity, also scolding: you need to take a break, man.

tubbo, who noticed wilbur come in: wil! tell tommy he needs to go to bed and sleep! he hasn’t slept in twenty seven hours!

tommy, from his desk, with his head in his hands and leaning over paper work: i’m being ganged up on.

-wilbur instantly likes sam and quackity, because they care for his little brother (he totally has a rivalry with them though, he was there first, and tommy’s actual brother)

-the main hotel in the chain is sometimes used as an international meeting place for big companies and politicians

-more than once has phil or techno needed to stay for a few nights due to major meetings with powerful people

-it’s kind of awkward sometimes because tommy’s the hotel chain owner and since he’s based at the main hotel, he sometimes needs to greet the people going in for meetings

tommy: good afternoon, madam secretary

tommy: good afternoon, mister minister

tommy: good afternoon... *awkward cough* ...technoblade.

-or since he’s the ceo of a big name company, he sometimes has to attend big rich people galas that he hates

tommy: tubbo i literally hate these types of places, when can i leave, when am i allowed to to leave

tubbo, who is tommy’s plus one and moral support: dude i don’t know, i didn’t grow up rich

tommy, who grew up talking care of himself when wilbur wasn’t there: yeah well technically neither did i!

-and his father is a business man..

tommy, faking confidence and striding across the room: tubbo, i have no idea what i’m doing-

phil, from a table a few feet away, calling him over: theseus!

tommy, slowly turning around to see phil with a bunch of other rich people: fuckkkk-

-tommy makes sure everyone calls him tommy and not theseus

[in an interview]

interviewer: so theseus-

tommy: it's tommy.

interviewer: ... alright, tommy. would you like to address the rumors going around of your boyfriend?

tommy: huh??? oh, you mean tubbo? no, we're just best friends. and that's weird. i'm a minor.

interviewer: are you gay, though? we've never seen you date any women.

tommy: no, i do date women! all the time!!

-tommy being legally named "theseus watson" but calling himself "tommy innit"

-wilbur is legally “wilbur watson” but only ever goes by his stage name “wilbur soot”

-they both totally end up changing their names. legally.

-tommy saying i hate men because he just hates his father

-tommy getting scandals and controversies all the time but just by the upper class

-everyone else loves and adores him and knows he's literally just a 16 yo kid so that kind of stuff is a joke and he can say that without getting in trouble

-tommy will be in his office and tubbo will be at the front desk and sometimes tommy will just yell “TUBBOOOOO HELP MEEEEE” if his laptop crashes because Tubbo Tech

tommy: [during a meeting] oh, tubbo's clocked in for work.... TUBBOOO!

tommy: he's gonna come in here. surely. he'll go "hellœ?" surely. he'll walk in here...

tubbo: [walks in the room] hellœ?

-phil still has no idea who tubbo is

wilbur: yeah, i’m going to go check on tommy and tubbo

phil: ..the receptionist?

wilbur: ...

wilbur, internally: also your sons best friend but yeah sure, the receptionist.

-techno is lowkey fond of tubbo

-techno notices how tommy is clinging to tubbo at parties and galas all the time so he tries to get tommy to talk about him

-he likes that tubbo is there for tommy and totally resonates with the chaotic energy the two create

-sometimes when tommy can’t get tubbo in to the parties/galas, and techno is there, tommy will hang around him and steal his things

-like taking his wallet so techno will have to go back to the hotel afterwards and visit tommy

-he does it for attention. 

-tommy lives at the hotel. it’s not technically legal cause he wasn’t emancipated from his family and he’s only 16 but they’re rich so people don’t really say anything

-technically he still has a room at phil’s place, but he stays in a room at the hotel. when designing the place, he made sure to map out an area for his living space

-tubbo takes naps in his room

tubbo: i'm gonna go take a nap in the break room

quackity: there is no break room??

tubbo: yea there is. on the top floor. with the giant door.

quackity:... isn't that tommy's room???

-tubbo sometimes stays the night with tommy, when his parents have been on a business trip for over two weeks. he still goes to in-person school so he usually only stays on weekends during the school year

-tommy does online school, and forces himself to get his schoolwork for the week done over the weekend so he can focus on the hotel and other responsibilities

-he fakes having the “lmao i'm better and have more money also you don't play minecraft" mentality towards other kids and claims that’s why he does online

-it’s actually because he doesn’t have time to balance everything and he was bullied in the past so he switched to online school as soon as he started his hotel

-sometimes tubbo helps him with his classes tommy is overworked. like, in his off time. he has the passwords to tommy's computer so he just goes on it and does some of his school work

-tommy ranting to tubbo about how he hates his dad and how he said phil was gonna visit him the next day

-phil arriving and asking tubbo (because he's the receptionist) where tommy is. tubbo saying he doesn't know and that he left. even though tommy is literally in his room

-phil tries. he just doesn’t know how to parent. techno was 17 and wilbur was 15 when he adopted tommy, and he just got busy enough and forgot how to take care of a child

-tommy knows if he talks to phil, it’ll be awkward and phil will just try and buy him off (not intentionally, it’s just how business men be working, yknow)

-tommy just wants to prove himself, to both himself and phil. and hes using his hotel to do that

———————

fanart that was posted with @cb28 ‘s work

(i got permission to post this)

#tommyinnit #tommyinnit headcanon #tommyinnit headcannon #clingy duo #mcyt au #hotel au #sleepy bois #dysfunctional sleepy bois #mcytblr

[sakura-83]

Things from Anne with an e that I feel like writing down

Season 1 Episode 7: Wherever You Are Is My Home

⚠️WARNING!!!⚠️ this episode not only talks about suicidal thoughts but also a character trying to commit such acts, of you are sensitive to this I suggest you just skip this post or at least skip #75-77

1. Anne calling it comforting that no two snowflakes are alike, as well as calling snow a sign of gods forgiveness as he blankets the dead world in a beautiful frost

2. Josie gossiping about her while she’s RIGHT THERE

3. Her and moody just talking

4. “And I love Christmas, don’t you?” “I don’t know, but I plan to.” “Did you not have Christmas at the orphanage?” “There wasn’t much to it really. I’m not sure why Father Christmas wasn’t able to stop there, maybe the matron scared him off.”

5. “Do you at least know if they’re going to keep you?” “Keep me!?”

6. Anne trying to sing with the others but the other voices quickly fading out as she panics and rushes home

7. “They’re not going to send you back, you’re in the Bible and everything!”

8. Marilla has every right to be angry that Matthew rushed their home without even discussing it

9. “I knew you’d lose your head-“ “Oh, I oughta smack yours right off your shoulders!”

10. Matthew is prone to heart attacks, the very same thing causing his death in the books

11. “He’s had an episode of the heart” just a funny way to say heart attack, sort of long winded

12. Marilla not understanding the complex math because she had to leave school when she was young

13. Anne helping her with it because she’s top of her class

14. “Not keeping you? You’re a Cuthbert, for better or for worse! No getting out of it now.”

15. The awful bank not relenting on the payback schedule despite the fact that Matthew cannot work. Corporations are cruel and ungiving despite the human struggles and needs of its clients and it hurts. I know the bank invested that money and they need it back but Matthew was indisposed by a tragic event and to not only not extent but to SHORTEN the payback schedule is just unfeeling

16. Marilla putting out an ad to the mainland to take in borders

17. The terrifying idea that you must sell everything you have in order to survive

18. Marilla being desperate yet still too prideful to accept charity

19. The fact that it not only effects the family but also Jerry, as they can’t afford to pay him. It puts him out of a job and lowers his families income

20. A reoccurring theme I love in this show is the idea that the characters will give up their belongings, no matter how sentimental, in the name of family. Matthew selling his dead brothers watch, Marilla selling her grandmothers brooch, Anne selling the dress of her dreams, all because no matter how important these items are, they are just things. That family is more important, so even though it pains you to have to give those things up, you do it in the name of love for others

21. “Theyre just things.”

22. Anne feeling sorrow and yet being excited to stay at aunt Josephine’s

23. Despite being told she can keep the dress, Anne insists on selling it back because it’s a family effort

24. Anne being exited for a solo adventure and then getting stuck with jerry

25. Jerry has to be there to get money Anne his family is hungry :(

26. “I don’t actually need your help.” “When’s the last time you drove a sleigh? Auctioned a horse? Let’s go.”

27. Diana giving her things to sell as well

28. Jerry knows how to drive a sleigh?????

29. “It’s not so bad to ask for help sometimes, y’know?” “If I needed help I would say so.” “No you wouldn’t.” “Yes, I would.” “Wouldn’t.” “Would! Times infinity.” “What???”

30. Jerry singing in French

31. “No singing. I mean it. I’m serious, Jerry! This is an important journey! I WILL KILL YOU WITH MY BEAR HANDS!”

32. Jerry grinning as she gets madder

33. Anne bring mystified by the dress shop

34. “I’m here to return a dress.” Is something wrong with it?” “Not a thing.” “Do you not like it?” “It is my very favorite thing that I have ever possessed in life. But I need to return it to help my family.” “You’re Anne, Matthew’s Anne!” “I am! How nice it is to hear it said that way.”

35. Anne being upbeat until Jeannie asks what’s wrong and then ask just breaks down

36. Poor Jerry waiting outside in the snow for her

37. Either Matthew spent some much money on Anne’s dress or Jeannie gave her extra, or both

38. “Did Matthew really spend this much?..” “You’re worth a lot to him.”

39. “I hate to say goodbye…” “😏 I won’t be so long~” “To the HORSE, Jerry. Why are you so annoying.”

40. “You’re a good horse Birdie, try to remember that. Someone will be very lucky to have you.”

41. Birdie really is a beautiful horse though

42. Anne’s little “my parents are spies” act she uses on the pawn broker

43. The pawn broker is so understandable rude because of his profession, it makes him equally annoying and funny

44. “What a piece of work you are.”

45. Anne is so good at making up stories on the spot

46. “If you can’t afford it I completely understand.”

47. I love how snide remarks of “being a good Christian” are frequent and effective insults in the 1800’s

48. Poor Jerry doesn’t just get beaten up and robbed, he gets brutally beaten by two grown men and there’s nothing he can do despite that being… his last paycheck. That was the last income he was going to give his family and he’s so ashamed of himself that he keeps apologizing for it despite most of the money being his. He apologizes to Anne, to Matthew, it bothers him for months to come

49. Gilbert’s back!!

50. “Still seems unreal. Even though I just sold all our… everything.”

51. “He’s a good man.” “I love him with all my heart. I don’t know what if do if…”

52. Them arguing over not arguing

53. Anne apologizing

54. “Anyway…” “Anyway..”

55. I genuinely didn’t realize that the men who beat up Jerry are the same men that took in borders at green gables, I got the same face blindness as Jerry himself

56. “I’ve missed you.” “Yeah?” “At school, theres.. no one to compete with.” “”You want to spell out a few words for old times sake?” “How about… truce?”

57. Jerry thinking Gilbert was going to hurt Anne and take her money and immediately jumping in to stop him despite swaying on his feet

58. When Anne asks him if he’s okay he immediately starts apologizing about the money

59. “I don’t like the city.”

60. “Just take care of yourself, and come home someday.”

61. Anne and Gilbert staring at each other quietly

62. “This is a palace, not a house.”

63. Jerry assuming that they’ll make him sleep in the stable instead of inside the massive house

64. “I’ll look after belle.”

65. “This city is rife with ruffians!”

66. Aunt Josephine insisting on helping

67. Matthew lamenting his own life, talking of how his life insurance will give them a sizable sum and how he drags them down despite them needing him

68. “Anne loves you, you have to remember that.” “But her future…” “Which do you think she would choose, this house or you?”

69. Jerry bring terrified to stay in a room by himself because he’s always had his family around him

70. Anne making room for him only for him to sleep upside down

71. “Don’t worry, I don’t kick like my sisters.” “Yeah, you’d better not.”

72. “Everything will be alright. It’ll be alright..”

73. Aunt Josephine helping by paying for Jerry to work at Green Gables, as well as giving Anne books

74. “We’ve been together all these years, thick or thin, so don’t think I’ll put up with you slipping away now. Anne will be home today, and she’ll be very happy to see you.”

75. Matthew trying to kill himself because the life insurance would pay off the debt he caused

76. Jeannie happening to show up and find Matthew with the gun just in time as he tries to hide what he’s almost done from her, realizing what he’s done

77. The way they stress how his passing would effect Anne the most because of what they mean to each other, that she will suffer without him despite what he’s trying to do

78. “Don’t ever get old…” “Too late for that.”

79. “You would’ve left us that way!? Left me?..”

80. “Give it back. I won’t take charity.” “But.. love isn’t charity.” “I won’t take it.” “Nay I ask why not?” “We will not be pitied! I don’t want people thinking we can’t fend for ourselves.” “Well at the moment we can’t, and I’d sure give my last bit of strength or my last dollar to help a friend. Then I know that friend would feel grateful and loved above all else. And I do. I feel very grateful to have such a dear friend as Miss Barry. Sometimes you just have to let people love you Marilla.”

81. Anne selling her cleaning services to make steady income

82. “We’re rich, aren’t we Matthew?”

83. Jerry carving a star for the Christmas tree!!!!!!

84. Anne’s friends coming to sing carols at their house

85. Anne helping Matthew walk outside

86. Not Nate :(

87. Nathaniel, the bane of my existence

#renew awae #awae #anne shirly cuthbert #jerry baynard #mathew cuthbert #marilla cuthbert #josephine barry

[spaceskam]

Pretty Little Picture (1/3)

fake dating au, pure fluff, no serious tags, just a bunch of fluff

for day 1 of @malex-cupid​

ao3

When Alex agreed to this, he thought it’d be a piece of cake.

“You’re going to regret this, it’s a horrible idea,” Liz said through the phone as he walked around his room, packing his bag for the weekend. He furrowed his eyebrows.

“Why? We’re friends. And I’ve done musicals and stuff, I’ve acted before.”

“Okay, but this isn’t acting. This is going on a weekend getaway pretending to date your friend who you have a crush on is a bad idea,” she scoffed. Alex shook his head, looking between his plain black button-up and his plain black fitted turtleneck. He chose the turtleneck one and folded it carefully.

“I don’t have a crush on him.”

“Really?”

“Really. Trust me, I’ve seen him after pulling an all-nighter and falling asleep in his coffee. I know not to have a crush on him,” Alex said. Though he will admit, that was pretty cute.

“Sounds like something someone with a crush would say,” Liz scolded. Alex snorted a laugh. “Fine, do what you want, at least you’ll be believable with the heart-eyes and everything.”

“I do not have heart-eyes!”

Truly, Alex was sure it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. He lived with Michael already. They shared the house he inherited‒Michael needed a cheap place to live while in college and Alex wasn’t really looking forward to living alone, so it worked out‒and nothing weird had happened in the last three years. They were best friends, what would one weekend hurt?

“Alex, I need your help,” Michael had said, bursting into the living room and nearly making Alex spill his coffee. He stomped towards him, dropping his bag on the ground and flopping onto the couch with a pathetic whine. “Help me.”

“Help you with what?” Alex had asked in return, taking his eyes off his laptop to give him his full attention while he threw a little tantrum.

Michael twisted onto his stomach and rested his chin on his hands, looking up at him. Alex’s heart absolutely did not skip a beat in adoration. He wasn’t that cute.

“You know my internship? The fancy one with all the rich people that pay me to be an intern for them and actually listen to my ideas and‒”

“Yes, Michael, I know about your internship,” Alex laughed. Michael pouted just a little bit.

“Okay, so every year, the CEO takes all the interns and entrance-level employees and their partners on a trip for Valentine’s day and it’s a fun trip, I guess, but it’s really just this big, super informal interview where he and his wife sort of see if you’ll be a good fit for the company long term. Khalil said I have to go no matter what, that it’s super crucial and to make a good impression. Like, I have to go, Alex. I have to get hired for real after I graduate. Do you know how much I’ll get paid just to start? $35 an hour, Alex! I could do so much with that money!” Michael explained, exasperated and overwhelming as if Alex hadn’t heard how much money he would make if he got this job a billion times.

“Yeah, okay, then go,” Alex told him, “Sweet talk them like we all know you can.”

“I need a partner, though,” Michael said, pouting all over again, “So come with me. Please? We can pretend to be, like, long term boyfriends and, like, convince them I’d be a good queer diversity hire at the very least.”

Alex felt his cheeks grow warm at the suggestion and shifted in his spot. “Why me?”

“Because! You were raised around a bunch of bougie rich white people, you know how to act at these things! I’d ask Isobel or Max, but I don’t even wanna pretend to be in love with them. With you, I can do the whole starry-eyed thing and if we have to show PDA, it won’t be that big of a deal because, like, it’s you,” Michael persuaded, clambering onto his hands and knees before putting his head on Alex’s arm and pouting up at him, “Pretty please? I’ll buy you something nice and fancy with my first big kid paycheck.”

“Okay,” Alex agreed, not letting himself think too much about it. They spent all their time together anyway. He’d fallen asleep with Michael’s feet in his lap, he’d seen him basically naked, he’d hugged him and gotten platonic head kisses from him. They could pull it off.

“Okay?” Michael repeated, sitting up more. His smile was shining and bold and Alex had to take a breath. “Okay! Okay, so we have two weeks to pack and come up with stories and shit to tell. It’ll be so easy, they’re gonna love you, you’re so chill. Thank you, Alex, thank you so much.”

Which led to now when Alex was preparing to go on this trip. From the way Michael explained, it would be a lot of just talking and discussing with a side of couples retreat-esque activities.

“He’s apparently superfamily and relationship-oriented. I don’t know if it’s because he’s, like, super conservative or if he’s super progressive and is all for, like, living wages for family and will give people ample time off. I’m too scared to ask just yet,” Michael had explained.

Michael had also assured him that, during discussions, he could either sit with him or go talk to the other partners, whichever he preferred. He basically just needed Alex to look pretty and seem like they were totally in love. According to the way Liz spoke about them, it wouldn’t be a difficult feat.

So Alex packed his clothes and anything he thought he’d need to get by on a three day trip to some bed and breakfast in the middle of nowhere. He wanted to look nice the whole time, even when they weren’t at formal dinners, and he was even going to flip his septum piercing. He planned to use his skills at selling himself to sell Michael as well.

“If you ever need a break, I’ll cover for you while you drive to the nearest convenience store to get a bunch of snacks,” Michael told him as he threw their bags in the backseat of Alex’s little car. Alex snorted a laugh.

“What about if you need a break?”

“Well, I plan to work for this fucker for at least the next thirty years, so my only break will be sleeping,” Michael said. Alex shook his head, going over to fix the collar of Michael’s shirt. It’d taken a bit of convincing to get him to forgo the flannels for a couple of days, but now he had a collared shirt that wouldn’t stay down for some reason. “Speaking of, are you gonna be chill sharing a bed or do I need to sleep on the floor? I don’t mind it, just wanna know if I should ask for an extra blanket.”

“Dude, we’ve shared a bed before,” Alex laughed, “It’s not gonna kill me.”

“Just making sure,” Michael said, taking a deep breath. It was only then that Alex realized that he was actually nervous.

“Hey,” Alex said, grabbing his shoulders and looking him in the eyes, “You’re going to impress the hell out of them, I’m gonna make sure of it, okay?”

“I just really want this job, Alex,” Michael said. Alex smiled.

“And you’re going to get it,” he said, “And, hey, if you don’t, this internship will always look good on your future resume.”

“Let’s just stick to telling me I’m gonna get it, okay?” Michael breathed. Alex laughed and nodded, patting him on the shoulder before shoved him gently in the direction of the passenger seat.

“You’re going to get it. Now get in the car.”

The whole ride there Alex was completely fine. This was going to be a piece of cake and he was going to show Liz that he could totally handle it. He didn’t have a crush, he wasn’t going to catch even more feelings, he was just being a good friend.

It didn’t really dawn on Alex just how stressful this weekend was going to be until they stepped inside the bed and breakfast and Michael looped an arm around his waist and tugged him in close. He knew they were going to be showing casual PDA, Alex agreed to that, but saying it and doing it in private was a whole different world to having Michael hanging onto him in front of other people.

Alex could hear his heart in his ears over the ringing, suddenly very aware of the fact that Michael was muscular. He knew he did a lot of manual labor jobs before he got that internship, but had he always been obvious about it?

Even then, Alex was able to smile through it as Michael led him up to the group of people that were already there. He was able to keep his feet under him as Michael leaned up to his ear to whisper a ‘you got this’. Alex was even stable as he shook the hand of the man whose suit was probably more than Alex’s inheritance.

“This is Alex,” Michael said, smiling over at him like he was the most important thing that ever existed, “My boyfriend.”

Well, shit.

Maybe Liz was onto something.

-

No, honestly‒Alex was fine.

Michael was charming, he knew that. He’d seen him with girls and guys he liked, he always laid on the charm thick and so it absolutely made sense for him to turn it on Alex. He just wasn’t used to it, that’s all. He just needed to adjust and then it’d be all roses.

“Alex, have I mentioned today that you’re my favorite?” Michael hummed as they went into their little room. Alex finally felt like he could breathe and tilted his head at him, raising an eyebrow. Michael was grinning with his back pressed against the door. “You’re incredible. They like you. Ivan laughed at your joke‒he never laughs.”

“Well, I’m glad you picked the right suitor,” Alex laughed, rolling his shoulders as he sat down on the bed. His back was facing Michael, finally, and he used it to close his eyes and count to three.

Michael was charming, simple. And, honestly, Alex was on the receiving end of it the more he thought about it. Just not in front of people. That’s what made it feel like so much. The audience. He’d never been so loudly out in front of that many people before. That’s what it was.

“The best,” Michael insisted. 

The bed creaked under his weight as he crawled across it and Alex was only able to prepare himself for the weight to be draped over his back because he was used to Michael being clingy. Just… in private. 

“Hey, you okay?” Michael asked after he was quiet for a second too long.

“Yeah,” Alex breathed, “I’m fine. Just never proudly stated I was into guys in front of that many people before.”

“Oh,” Michael said, pressing against his back just a little more, “Good feeling or bad feeling?”

Alex didn’t answer quickly enough.

“Alex, if you want to go home, then‒”

“No, this is good. I feel good. Just overwhelmed,” he explained. It wasn’t a lie.

“Okay, fair enough,” Michael said, kissing his temple before throwing himself backwards onto the bed, “I swear, it feels better after the overwhelming feeling goes away. None of them are gonna say shit to you either.”

Alex nodded and laid back on the bed beside him, looking over at him. They had to get ready for one of their informal discussions and dinner, but it sounded like a good idea to just lay there for a moment. The longer they laid there, the more he was able to realize this wasn’t going to be too bad. In fact, he was going to have fun with it.

In an actual relationship, he wouldn’t want to show a lot of PDA or be super touchy. But this wasn’t an actual relationship. He could just be a little extreme for the fun of it. He was going to school to perform. Why not try his hand at acting?

Bonus points if Michael got flustered.

“Okay, I’m good,” Alex said. Michael turned his head and they locked eyes, a smile on his face.

“Good,” Michael said, shifting onto his side, “But if you start feeling overwhelmed again, you can just squeeze my hand. We’re boyfriends for the weekend, so it doesn’t matter if they think it’s gay.”

Alex huffed a laugh, turning onto his side as well. 

“Do they actually know you’re bisexual or is this like your coming out and you’re just letting them think what they want?” Alex wondered, “I saw a couple of shocked faces.”

“Some people know, mainly the people I talk to every day, but I don’t try to hide it. I think most of them thought I was straight until Callie was showing Emily some picture of a hot guy and I said I wanted to see,” Michael said, grinning in that way that told Alex he’d done it purposefully to get a shock out of some people.

“Oh yeah, how’d that go?”

“No one really said much, the girls laughed. Khalil breathed like a sigh of relief because they thought they were the only queer person working there,” Michael said, scooting closer, “I think there’s probably a couple more somewhere are the office. It’s a big place, there’s gotta be.”

“Mm, but we’re gonna be basically the only same-sex couple this weekend, right? I didn’t see anyone else while we were down there,” Alex pointed out. Michael nodded.

“Yeah, sorry. But only for a couple of days! It’s already Friday afternoon and we’re leaving Sunday afternoon, it’ll be fine. Plus, you got me,” Michael said, reaching out to poke Alex in the side, “I’ll make it worthwhile.”

Alex found himself smiling just a little.

“Yeah, I know you will.”

They both eventually got up and got dressed. Alex broke out the turtleneck and some relatively tight black slacks, drawing on fresh eyeliner. He pulled as much of his hair back as he could into a small low ponytail and deliberately made his bangs and everything hanging down a little intentionally messy.

This was a performance and he was going to sell it easily.

When he came out of their bathroom and into the main room, he saw Michael was in a pair of chinos and a maroon button-up that he was sure Isobel had gotten for him. He was just fastening his belt when Alex made a show of leaning against the doorframe as he whistled low.

“Well, well, well, don’t you look good,” Alex said. Michael looked up at him with a shit-eating grin, hands fumbling as he tried to tuck the end of the belt into his belt loops. 

“I bet I smell better, Isobel got me fancy cologne,” he said. Alex huffed a laugh.

“Yeah, I can smell it, it’s nice,” he said, pushing off the door frame and walking closer, “You wearing real shoes, or am I going to have to publicly break up with you for wearing cowboy boots?”

Michael rolled his eyes and reached out to grab Alex by the waistband of his pants, tugging him in. Alex’s eyes went wide as he laughed at the forwardness.

“I’m wearing shoes, the fancy ones that are pointed at the end and click when you walk,” Michael said. Alex grinned and put the back of his hand to his forehead.

“I’m swooning.”

“You should.”

Michael let him go and went to go slip on his shoes while Alex went to his combat boots‒much more situation-appropriate than cowboy boots and he would stick by that. They gave each other another once over of approval before leaving their room. 

“Those boots make your ass look great,” Michael said as they headed towards the elevator. Alex’s eyebrows shot up and he looked over his shoulder. Michael flashed an innocent smile. “What? You’re my boyfriend, I can look at your ass, right?”

“If I can look at yours, boyfriend.”

“I’m begging,” Michael said warmly as they stepped into the elevator. Alex shook his head and pressed the ground floor.

Because, of course, this was what it would be like to be with Michael. Flirting, banter, touching. No wonder he had so many people wanting to be with him. Hell, Alex got a decent taste of it and they didn’t even like each other like that. Though, it definitely helped him understand where all of Liz’s concerns came from.

“You really are feeling better, right? Like, don’t let me do anything you’re not comfortable with. I’ll try not to, but, you know, slap me if I do,” Michael insisted before the elevator doors could open, sincerity dripping from his tone.

Alex held out his hand as the doors opened.

“I’m fine.”

Alex was able to make that statement even more true as they started socializing and he managed to snag a flute of champagne. It tasted expensive, just like the shit he and Kyle would sneak at their parents’ parties. It was easier to loosen up when pretending that’s what this was.

“Michael, Alex!” Curtis called as he neared, a big smile on his face and a gorgeous woman on his arm.

Curtis was the CEO of Disionic, a company that specialized in doing work for other companies’ prototypes. Companies of all sorts would use Disionic to outsource their new and fancy inventions for all sorts of different things, from engine-powered toys to ad blocking apps to literal blenders, as a way to test run them and get credible feedback from engineers and usually would employ them to fix any mistakes that were made. Michael loved it, it was a constant stream of new things and it made big money. 

The fact that he made a point to know all the interns' names was simply a plus.

“You two look like the perfect pair,” he said, looking between the two of them with a warm smile. Alex raised his eyebrows at Michael and offered a smile.

“Thank you, Mr. Iverson,” Michael said, nodding to the woman on his arm, “Mrs. Iverson.”

“Call me Jeannie,” Mrs. Iverson said, holding out a hand. Michael shook it firmly and Alex did the same. “So, I’ve heard about Michael, the agricultural and mechanical double major from Berkeley, but I haven’t heard about you. What do you do, Alex?”

Alex felt Michael take a deep breath, a silent ‘oh God, am I good enough that he told his wife about me?’ and he tightened his hold around his waist. Alex gave his award-winning polite smile that did wonders when he took etiquette classes back when his father thought dressing him up in a suit around other boys in suits to learn about how to act right would make him less likely to be a raging homosexual.

“I actually go to SFSU for right now,” Alex said, “Music major.”

“Oh!” she said, and Alex had already predicted her words before she said them because it’s what people always said, “That’s cute!”

“Mm,” Alex hummed, taking another sip of his champagne, “My major is piano education, but I also take vocal classes as more of a minor.”

“Oh, good, you’ll be able to do a lot with that. And it’s not that far from Michael’s school,” she said. He nodded, looking towards Michael.

“Yeah, we live somewhere in the middle,” he said.

“That’s good that he’s with someone who’s also focused, it’s a good environment to be in for a boy his age with his promise,” Curtis insisted. Michael went a little weak in his grasp and Alex didn’t have to be a genius to know it had everything to do with a grown man caring about his promise. 

“I think so too.”

After moving on from Curtis, Michael was able to regain his legs and his brain and Alex didn’t have to carry too much of the weight‒literally and figuratively. They sat and had dinner, all paid for by the company, and then got back to socializing. It was honestly a bit draining, but Alex kept reminding himself it was just for the weekend and it was for Michael and also that most of the people there were winging it just as much as Michael.

“So, how did you two get together? I know Michael said you were roommates before things got started, so that must’ve been a risky move,” Alisha‒Michael’s coworker’s wife of two months who wouldn’t let either of them forget how sad it was that they couldn’t make it to the wedding as if they’d known either of them long enough to be invited in the first place‒asked. She was kind and all, but she asked a lot of questions. Alex was waiting for her to ask something that was too invasive to even justify a polite answer.

Honestly, some of them already felt too invasive, but Alex knew that was probably him just being touchy.

“Oh, I just got up the courage to ask him out one day and hoped it wouldn’t be weird. I mean, look at his face. It was impossible not to catch feelings,” Michael said. Alex rolled his eyes and leaned into his side, playing it up to the best of his ability. It helped that the champagne he’d been sipping on had made him a little more comfortable.

“Stop it.”

“I’m serious! I couldn’t help myself. I just wanted a chance to look at the stars with you and know you were mine,” Michael cooed, pressing his nose into Alex’s cheek and nuzzling just a little. Alex’s ears were ringing a bit as he turned his head to look at him up close. They locked eyes for a moment too long before Michael cleared his throat and looked back to Alisha. “So, yeah, couldn’t pass up the opportunity.”

“How cute, I wish straight men were that romantic,” she cooed, just tone-deaf enough to level Alex’s thoughts, “Have you talked about marriage? I’d love to come to the wedding, it’d be so fun.”

“Not really, yet,” Alex said, pinching Michael’s hip just enough to make him jump, “But I figure one day I’ll get him on one knee.”

“What, you won’t propose to me?” Michael said, trying to put but failing through his smile. Alex cupped his ear in his hand, running his thumb gently along the curve of it. If Michael’s eyes drifted to his lips, well, Alex pretended he didn’t notice.

“Maybe I just like seeing you on your knees,” Alex said. Michael’s eyes widened.

“Oh, dear, I feel like I’m intruding,” Alisha giggled and Alex blinked out of it.

“Sorry,” he said, “Just teasing.”

“I totally get it! Me and my Tom get like that all the time.” 

“Speaking of your Tom,” Tom said, sidling up beside her and looping his arm around her waist. She smiled up at him. “Emily wanted to see your ring.”

“Oh! Okay, see you later, guys! I had fun talking to you,” Alisha said, waving as she let herself be tugged off to wherever Emily and her boyfriend were.

Alex let out a breath of relief and raised his glass to his lips. Mid-sip, Michael leaned in close to his ear, lips nearly pressed against his skin. Alex focused on his drink.

“You’re gonna do something stupid like make me fall in love with you,” he breathed, leaving a kiss on his cheek before he pulled back.

“Ah, a tragic mistake many men have made,” Alex said playfully. Michael beamed at him.

“Seriously, you’re amazing, Alex. I’m so glad I brought you. You even managed to make Alisha bearable,” Michael said. Alex laughed and looked over to where Alisha was proudly showing off her ring.

“She’s not that bad.”

“You haven’t met her as many times as I have,” Michael huffed, “I was terrified when I saw her comin’ this way. She means well, but, you know.”

“The straights just aren’t as romantic, Michael, don’t you know?” he said. Michael laughed and squeezed his hip. “But are you good? You’re starting to look a little drained.”

“I’m gonna start lookin’ for a way out so we can go upstairs. My people tolerance is dropping,” Michael confessed. Alex nodded.

“Well, you’re doing really well. I almost didn’t notice.”

“Hopefully no one else will.”

“No one else knows you like I do, so I’m assuming you’re good.”

Michael tilted his head, that little smirk on his lips as he said, “You know me so well, huh?”

“I do live with you,” Alex pointed out. Michael nodded and his eyes went to the flute of champagne in his hand.

“How many of those have you had?” he asked. Alex shrugged, swirled it around a bit before downing the rest.

“Three, maybe four. Yeah, four, one before dinner, one during, two since,” Alex explained. Michael nodded.

“Feelin’ good?” he asked. Alex hummed and nodded, looking over Michael’s face easily. “I’m not a champagne man.”

“Neither am I, but this shit is too expensive not to drink.”

Michael laughed, “Guess I’ll have to taste it.”

“You will.”

Alex’s eyes drifted to his lips, not for the first time. He started wondering what he actually looked like on his knees. Then he shook that thought right out of his head.

“I’m tired,” Alex said, maybe a bit louder so other people would hear. Michael grinned.

“Okay, let’s make our rounds in saying goodnight.”

They said goodnight to Michael’s coworkers that they passed on their way to say goodnight specifically to Curtis and Jeannie. It was an absurd amount of small talk, very ‘oh, yeah, we were up early, Alex had class’ and ‘it’s a long day, want to be fresh in the morning!’ and ‘you know how it is, can’t wait to get this one alone, haha!’ It was all tragically boring and as he got closer to when he’d be free of it, Alex began to itch to get back to their room.

By the time they said goodnight to Curtis and his wife, they were basically speed walking to the elevator. Once the doors closed, Michael tugged Alex into a hug, burying his face into his neck and Alex giggled, feeling light as he draped his arms around his neck. Michael lifted him off the ground for a moment, until the doors slid open.

They made it back to their room and Alex didn’t have a moment to process anything before the door closed and Michael was closing in on him. He grabbed his face in between his hands, staring at him with the biggest smile. Alex was probably a little too drunk for this.

“You are so fucking good at this, I could kiss you. The flirting, the touching, the lines? Alex! You’re a genius, a pure genius. I knew they’d like you, but they like like you. You are so good, Alex Manes,” he gushed, peppering kisses to his forehead and his nose and his cheeks. By the time he pulled away, Alex’s face was on fire and he was smiling so wide it hurt.

“I’m just selling it,” Alex said.

“And you are doing a damn good job. I should date you more often,” Michael said. Alex nodded lamely and Michael laughed, grabbing his hand and pulling it to his mouth. He pressed a kiss to the back of it. “I am going to go take a shower, boyfriend. You start trying to sleep off that champagne, okay?”

“Okay.”

Michael dropped his hand and turned, stepping out of his shoes on the way to the bathroom. Alex let out a breathy laugh and sat on the edge of the bed. He slowly pulled his hair down and pulled off his boots, taking a deep breath. He licked his lips and turned his head to the bathroom door, head swimming with too many thoughts as the water kicked on.

Alex changed out of his shirt and his pants into sweats and a t-shirt, climbing into bed without much thought. He tried not to think, at least. He closed his eyes and tried to lull himself to sleep.

But, when the bathroom door opened, he couldn’t help himself.

Alex peeked over the edge of the blanket and watched as Michael, dripping wet with just a towel around his waist, searched for his clothes with nothing but the bathroom light to guide him. He was gorgeous and overwhelmingly… Michael. Alex couldn’t remember the last time he wanted something so bad as he wanted to touch Michael at that moment.

At the thought, he pulled the blanket over his head, his eyes going wide.

Oh.

Oh no.

#malexcupid21 #malex #malex fic #michael guerin #alex manes #roswell new mexico #my fic #i meant to post this earlier but I just got home whoops #verse: pretty little picture

[compassionatereminders]

I’m 25 and feel like I’m so behind in life. I wasn’t ever able to afford to go to college and so I don’t have a good job. I’ve been applying like crazy to jobs but majority of them ask for a college degree or experience. I don’t want to make it seem like I’m the only one going through it but I feel like I am. It sucks cause I want to be financially stable and not having to work paycheck to paycheck. I was hoping I’d be in a Good position by the end of this year. We’re a month away from 2022 and I’m not there yet. I’m realizing I’m wasting my time here on earth cause I don’t contribute anything to this world at all. I’m just… breathing and existing. It sucks and people think it’s sooo easy to find a job rn. They think everyone has it easy and some of us don’t unfortunately. I want to make my mom, sister happy and currently I’m not

Speaking as a person with no formal education who just got approved for disability, you might want to rethink some of the implications of what you're criticizing in yourself or you'll simultaneously be implying some very negative things about people like me who's even more "behind." Don't get me wrong, your situation sucks and you're allowed to be upset and I sympathize with you. But I do not run this blog for people to propagate stuff like "I'm wasting my time on Earth because I don't contribute anything to society" like I'm not sitting right there on my disabled ass watching

#chat with kat

[liddolwhynot2000]

Hey! So, I was wondering if I could get a levi x reader where the reader runs the tea shop levi goes to to get his tea and they slowly become friends before realizing they’ve fallen in love with eachother?

Aiii one of my first fic supporters ⭐ I'm so sorry for answering this so late. But I got you.

Here we goo. I hope it lives up to your expectations! @dove-music

____________________________________

Apricity

____________________________________

Summary:

After all, Levi had gotten into a relationship.

With a woman who baked cookies and drew his face on them for fun.

___________________________________

Pairings: Levi/Reader

____________________________________

Genre: fluff, romance, Levi-does-not-know-romance, kinda funny

____________________________________

If Levi had to pick any place in the world that gave made him feel something akin to contentment, it would be the little tea shop that was a 10 minute walk from the Survey Corps.

It wasn't some big, fancy cafe, overcrowded with civilians and soldiers, like other establishments were. A small, cosy little shop in the corner of the street. The shop made good business, he could tell, with its modest furnishing and quality to tea.

He had stumbled upon it in a dire time of need- right after losing his beloved friends to titans. He had accepted that he would stay in the survey corps but he hadn't been willing to make friends at the time. He didn't want to get drunk with his fellow soldiers, or visit brothels. He had just wanted some quiet.

Levi had been walking along the street by himself, in the dark, when he had stumbled upon that cafe. It had been on a whim that he had decided to go inside and actually order something.

He would try to convince himself that it was a one time thing, that he was simply trying some of the luxuries the surface had to offer. But one time turned into two, two turned into ten and so on.

He was rewarding himself with good tea, Levi told himself, that was why he kept coming back. He fought titans for humanity, the least he could do was use his paycheck to buy himself a nice beverage every once in a while. It was treat to himself.

The sweet owner of the cafe had nothing to do with this. Nothing at all.

Yeah sure Levi nobody believes you

Shut up four eyes or else-

____________________________________

'Sir, here you go.'

'.. I didn't order this.'

Levi looked at the plate set infront of him with indifference, although a part of him wondered if it would taste as good as it looked. It was a chocolate cake slice, with some sort of white cream on it.

'It's on the house sir.'

He looked at you, feeling bewildered at the sight of your smiling face. Was this sort of shit normal in the surface? Just giving each other food? There had to be some sort of catch right?

'.. What do you want?'

You blinked at him in confusion.

'Er- nothing sir. We sometimes give free meals to customers. You're the lucky customer this week.'

Levi felt compelled to ask one more time.

'So I owe you nothing for this?'

'Absolutely nothing.'

'Right... Thanks.'

There was no more clarification he could ask for, not when you had used that firm tone. You excused yourself and walked away, leaving Levi to his treat.

Huh. The people here weren't so bad after all.

Maybe he would come back to try some more dishes later.

It's not to see you again hell no stop it Hange- it's NOT-

____________________________________

He later finds out that you're the owner of the cafe. You could just hire help and let others manage the cafe, but you prefer handling it yourself. Levi can't help liking that- so many people would just sit on their asses, but you're actually working hard.

He doesn't get around to going to the cafe again until a month later. It's after a grueling expedition and he's beyond irritated with everyone. For some reason, they've started calling him 'humanity's strongest' and frankly, Levi finds it to be a dumb title.

Becuase even with all his strength, he hadn't been able to save everyone.

Wanting to get away from overeager comrades and a sugar high Hange (somebody give moblit a raise poor boi), Levi decides to head to the cafe.

Yet again, you're the one who welcomes him. He silently thanks you when you seat him in the corner of the shop, an area where hardly anyone would see him and he wouldn't have to see anyone else. You had perhaps understood from his uniform and exhausted face that he wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone, so you had hand him the menu and quietly tell him you'll be back in five minutes.

Once you get him his chosen tea, you also quietly leave a plate of another desert with it. This time, Levi doesn't bother asking questions. He nods at you gratefully before allowing himself to indulge in the delicacy infront of him.

He can't help but want to ask your name.

Aww Levi you drew a heart on that paper with her name on it-

No what the fuck YOU drew that four eyes-

___________________________________

He frequents the cafe at least twice a month for the next five years. It's become a tradition of sorts, going there after a tiresome mission, enjoying a meal made by you. You don't always let him have food for free of course, but it's often at a discounted rate. And as someone who has never enjoyed any privelege whatsoever in his entire life, he guards the special consideration you show him close to his heart.

The two of you don't interact much at the start, but Levi notices you. The way you give your workers decent time off, how you don't hesitate in offering monetary help or letting someone take the day off, even if it means you're overworked. He hasn't talked to you much, but he has a good opinion of you. He finds you fascinating, the first speck of kindness he's seen in his life, since Isabel and her desire to free a bird. Levi doesn't bother approaching you directly, because he doesn't even know what to say.

The two of you have a full interaction six months into his routine, the day Levi accidentally stays till its closing time. It had been good luck on your part--that when the drunk garrison soldiers had stumbled into your cafe will less then innocent intentions, Levi had been there to deal with them. As far as the garrisons were concerned, it had been the worst night of their lives. No amount of alcohol would ever be enough to make them forget what had happened.

Look at you, so protective of your woman even then-Levi where did you get that knife from--wait no - Erwin HELP-

He strikes a tentative friendship with you after that. You had been beyond thankful for his intervention, knowing you might not have made it out with your life if he hadn't been there. You made him cookies the next day, coming all the way to headquarters to give them to him.

Much to his despair, you meet his self proclaimed friend--Hange, and the two of you become friends too. He tries not to mind it, however, the day Hange flashes a cookie with what is clearly his frowning face drawn on it, he has to be held back by five soldiers from throwing Hange out the window. He marches to cafe, intending on letting out his ire at your insolence. But somehow, he doesn't tell you off like he had planned. Instead he finds himself asking you about your baking and art skills-even he would admit that the drawing of him had been spot on.

He does ban from making them again. You honoured it, until the two of you became good friends. Suddenly, every holiday involves at least one tray of grumpy Levi cookies. Even Erwin had enjoyed them, much to his exasperation. It had lead to his vow of never trying one.

They tasted amazing, I really think you should have tried them- OUCH that hurt shorty-

It doesn't take long till he finds himself purposefully visiting at closing time, knowing you'll just make yourself make a meal too, sit nearby and read a book. You engage him in conversation at times, telling him about the books you read. The two of you bond over food and fictional stories. He let's his walls down for you, little by little. You end up becoming the first person he let's in, his first friend, since the death of Isabel and Farlan.

Levi likes to think they would have liked you.

It's nice, spending time with you. You don't look at him like he's some God with all the solutions, like his comrades do. You aren't in some high risk career where he'd have to worry about you dying. You're stable and peaceful, exactly where you are.

Everytime he sets out for an expedition, he mentally prepares himself for not making it back without at least half his cormades. When it comes to you, his friend, he has no worries. You're safely tucked away in your cafe, out of reach from the titans grasp.

'friend' sure Levi, you write love letters for your friends.

Four eyes where the fuck did you get those from, give them back-

___________________________________

It's a peaceful day, as evidenced by the birds chirping and general pleasant atmosphere. One could say the weather is perfect. Just the right amount of sunshine shining in the streets, children enjoying themselves, chasing each other.

Even Levi is in a good mood. Of course, his good mood is amplified by his current location. His favorite cafe.

He's sitting inside, but the windows are open, letting in fresh air. He has a nice cup of tea on the table, with a plate full of sandwiches. You were seated in front of him, drinking some tea so sweet he could smell it.

You're telling him about a book, how you've analysed its villainous characters. He enjoys listening to you, often finding your ability to guage complex characters with relative ease to be startling. It makes him trust you more, knowing that no matter how fucked up something occurs, you wouldn't take it at face value.

You wouldn't judge him like that.

The two of you are interrupted as the bell chimes and someone enters the cafe. It's a young man, maybe in his 20s. He's dressed well, a white shirt with a brown vest on top. You put down the book down and smile as you go to greet him.

Suddenly, Levi doesn't feel as peaceful as before. He keep his eyes to his tea but his ears are perked up as he listens to you chatter with the man.

'Hello. Its been a while eh?'

'It has. I've been in Wall Sina getting some work done. Finally finished it, those damn nobles ask us for way too much-'

The man places an order for a bag of biscuits, ones you had already made. You give him a discount, which Levi smugly notes isn't even half of what he gets, and he tells you he has to leave soon. Levi's relieved really, he doesn't know what he's feeling, but he knows he doesn't like him.

'.. Maybe next time, I could take you out on a date...'

Even though you gently reject the man, who takes it well, Levi can't stop frowning. Once you take your place in infront of him again and continue your explaination, he turns his attention back to you and tries to brush off that feeling in his gut.

But it doesn't work.

____________________________________

When Levi had been taken in under Kenny's (questionable) care, he had learned a lot of things from the man. How to hold a knife, how to break bones, make deals, the sex talk that Levi would like to never remember etc. Kenny had taught him plenty of life skills.

However, his methods had been crazy to say the least. More often then not, Levi found himself on the recieving end of sparring sessions where he was sent flying into trash cans and expected to get up and attack again. Kenny had been ruthless, but it had been for his own good. He wouldn't have survived that hell hole otherwise.

Levi recalled a specific moment in his early days of being with Kenny all too clearly. He hadn't fully understood why Kenny was making him train like this, and frankly, he had been exhausted being treated like a punching bag. In his anger, he had yelled at Kenny, half crying, about how his mother would never let him get hurt like this and how much he missed her.

Kenny had stared at him blankly for a minute once he had finished, and with the speed of lightning, the man had punched him in the stomach.

It had been extremely painful, taking his breath away. Kenny had then proceeded to beat him senseless--telling him what would happen if he wasn't strong enough with each blow.

He would always remember that pain for the rest of his life. Nothing had ever come close to it, or at least that's what he had thought.

But right now, sitting at his desk late at night, Levi feels like Kenny had punched him in the gut again. He was, yet again, experiencing a feeling he would never forget. It wasn't pain, but it's intensity was just the same.

Love.

..sittin in a tree, K I S S I N- AHHH

Section Commander, are you okay!? How did you fall down the stairs??

___________________________________

Levi and the rest of the soldiers had the night off, and while usually he was more inclined to simply stay away from their parties, he allowed his squad to drag him. It had, as expected, turned out to be a mistake. Everyone had been too drunk. Especially his squad.

When Olou began singing, Levi listened with mild amusement. His voice actually hadn't been too bad.

When Gunther and Eld began drunkenly trying to dance together to his singing, he might have actually smiled while drinking his beer.

When a very drunk Moblit collapsed next to him, muttering about that crazy four eyes, Levi decided to put his foot down and end the party. With Petra's help, he had carried Moblit to his room. The poor man had muttered the entire way there, mostly about Hange and Titans and needing therapy.

The punch in the gut, figuratively, had taken place on his way back to his room. Courtesy of Petra.

He hadn't noticed it, which had been stupid of him in hindsight. His ginger haired comrade had been harbouring feelings for him- feelings he knew he didn't return in the slightest. He had turned her down as gently as possible, not expecting her to loop her arms around his neck and beg him for one night together.

'... Please captain, just one night. If you still feel the same in the morning, I'll never bring this up again.'

Maybe in another universe, he would have said yes. After all, despite the age gap between them, Petra was rather beautiful. And any man would want to enjoy a night with her.

Alas, the moment she had looped her arms around him, his breath had suddenly left him, as though Kenny had punched him in the gut again.

He wasn't seeing his ginger haired cormade leaning into him, confessing her love to him. He was seeing you, your hair in that messy bun, that sweet smile, saying all those words. Practically begging him to make you his.

The moment Petra repeated her statement again, however, the vision fell apart and he pushed her away. After a firm rejection and some tears, he wandered back to his office, feeling dazed.

Sitting down in his chair, he had stared mindlessly, thinking about you.

You and your sweet words. Your obsession with reading. Those special discounts for him. That gentle smile. Even those absurd grumpy Levi cookies you baked.

Levi was a Capricorn--and capricorns were practical people. Rational. And in the interest of being practical, Levi decided to admit his feelings to himself. It would only drive him crazy if he didn't.

He was in love with you.

___________________________________

In his thirty something years of living, Levi had never been in an relationship. He had been too busy navigating the dark realms of the underground, trying to find enough food to eat. He hadn't cared for sex either, too traumatized by Kenny and his (shudder) talk. By the time he had gotten older and more stable, he had been so disgusted by the flithiness of the act, that he didn't even bother seeking out partners.

Which was why, here was, in love with a woman who probably deserved better then him, unable to do figure out what to do. Should he tell you? Or just keep it to himself? He wasn't sure if you felt the same, but the part of him that was in love with you knew he'd die happy if he held even the smallest part of your heart.

He was at a loss really. Maybe he could find a book about this crap.

Kenny's voice rung in his head for a few seconds, before Levi shut it off. He would rather die single then get a girl using Kenny's advice. He could do better then this. Maybe Erwin would have a book, there had to be somewhere the blonde bastard learned his charm from.

... You gotta be upfront kid. If you want her to be yours..

Levi wouldn't listen to Kenny. No. There was no way...

.. Don't beat around the bush brat, just tell her...

...he would do as Kenny had advised him to.

... Kill her if she doesn't like you back okay..

Okay that wasn't happening. Even if some of it sounded like it made sense, he still wouldn't do it like Kenny would.

No.

Freaking.

Way.

__________________________________

The next day, Levi silently wondered if his mentor was still alive. If he was, Levi resolved to stab him in a heartbeat. Because he just knew, that if Kenny could see him now, he would laugh his ass off.

After all, Levi had gotten into a relationship.

With a woman who baked cookies and drew his face on them for fun.

And it was all because he followed Kenny's advice.

Goddamit.

___________________________________

A/N: This ended up being longer then planned whew. My fingers were numb at some points, bc I wrote this in 3 straight hours. I hope y'all liked this! Am I the only who thinks grumpy Levi cookies would be amazing? I had to give Kenny a role in this, it was too tempting not to. Overall, I liked this one alot. I actually have a plan in mind involving this Levi and reader, which I'll hopefully write soon. Till then, take care everyone!

#AOT #Snk #Levi x reader #Levi ackerman #Levi AOT #Romance #Levi does not know romance

[valar-did-me-wrong]

The idea that only achieving the "best" in life is what will provide real happiness and less well to do people are always unhappy is such a toxic middle class brainwashing tactic of parents to make sure their children study hard and climb the social ladder.

It absolutely destroyed my teenage & early 20s trying to achieve the "best" there is and yet not finding contentment.

My grades did not cure my anxiety, my paychecks cannot buy me a stable source of serotonin & no matter how good I can suture skin I cannot fix my broken family.

There are many things we are lied to as kids; monsters in dark alleys, fairies in wild flowers, UN fixing the problems of the world, but the biggest lie I was ever told was that happines is a place to be reached where I wasn't already at. That it needs earning in form of sacrifice or fate or prayers. That I will get it if I tried hard enough and if I don't have it I haven't tried enough.

So my goal in life was not to achieve success for sucess's sake but for happiness; just to be content, not only me but my family too.

And now in a twisted sort of way those who told me this lie made it true. Because in search of happiness I went to places and pushed so hard I don't think I have the capability of feeling happy left in me anymore.

So I try harder & it gets farther, and everyone says I don't try hard enough. So I try harder, earn more to get the better medicines and the cycle goes on and on

#im sad today #and bitter #and i know i have so much that i should be thankful for #but god i needed nothing but serotonin #i would have lived in a hut with no money but just the assurance that i would be able to smile no matter what #i haven't felt happy in months #so i rant #depression #anxiety

[pocket-clown]

A Place in your Home; A Place in your Heart | Arthur Fleck x reader 

// original request: Hi! I love your writings 💖 and I shyly wanted to request something. ^^ I wonder if you could write about Reader that has a difficult situation and has to find a new place to live, but doesnt have enough money? Arthur wants to help her and offers her that she can live with him. They've not dated for long but it's serious and the're much in love. She wants to move in with him, but she's afraid it wouldn not work out for many reasons, but eventually she agrees and Arthur is immensely happy. ^^

// A/N: This originally was going to be a longer fic, but I’ve been struggling with writing yet again, so I figured breaking it down into headcanons was easier than taking eons longer to write something more detailed.

thanks for the request, @dont-be-alarmed

It had been nearly three weeks since you were given the news, the words barely making their way over the fuzzy phone lines, voice as uncaring as ever.

Due to a better suited tenant making an offer, your lease was not going to be renewed, and you needed to be out by the end of the month - no if, ands, or buts about it.

Your lifestyle was a hand to mouth one; paycheck to paycheck, your weekly earnings were just enough to cover rent and basic necessities with little left over to save, splurges on luxuries being an occasional, very rare treat.

With your rainy day savings, your actual savings, and the total accumulation of the profit you made from selling various items that you could, you barely had enough to cover even a deposit on any of the nearby apartments - let alone deposit, and the first month’s rent. 

In short, you were screwed.

You were screwed, and it was eating at you. Day and night, the thought loomed over you like the piles of trash that littered the city, threatening to topple over on passersby at any moment. 

Had you been given a much more reasonably timed heads up, it wouldn’t have been even half an issue, yet you were left to do nothing but lay in bed, eyes burning as you stared at the television, seeing but not really watching the program on it. You’d been pulled from your restless sleep by the sound of a glass bottle dropping and shattering somewhere outside, and given that it was nearly four in the morning, you were about to give up on sleep. 

Even in your sleepy haze, did the weight of the situation hit you like a truck, your stomach tightening with anxiety, the churning twist of panic, worry, and hopelessness making your eyes blur with tears as you shifted your gaze to the ceiling.

You couldn’t help but almost pitifully chuckle at that - soon, there wouldn’t even be a ceiling for you to cry over.

December was nearly on its last legs with Christmas just around the corner; the days of autumn bleeding into those of winter as you found yourself growing more and more grateful each day that your boyfriend’s apartment was one of the few that had a functioning heating system. Temperatures dipped below freezing more often than not, and you often had to take a moment to brace yourself before you stepped outside as the air’s freeze physically hurt sometimes - your eyes, nose, and fingers on the days you forgot your gloves stinging from the wind, while any exposed skin reddened from the nip of the wind. 

It was thoughts of days like those that made you brief a sigh of relief and sink back into the couch of Arthur’s living room, one of his softest blankets fluffed and draped around your body as you curled your legs under yourself, warm and safe from the harsh weather outside, and the even harsher population of the city.

It was also thoughts of days like those that reminded you that this wasn’t going to last. 

“Love, what’s on your mind?”

As in tune with your emotions as ever, Arthur noticed that you were particularly quiet that evening, lost in your thoughts as you didn’t even pay any mind to the television - set to the weekly airing of The Murray Franklin Show.

You hadn’t even told Arthur what was going on, the fear of stressing your already overworked boyfriend out keeping you from opening your mouth. 

“Huh? Oh - nothing,” You blinked, turning your attention from the carpet to the television. “I’m just tired.” You spoke, fingertips picking at the frayed hem of the blanket currently wrapped around your body.

Another hint for Arthur: no Art, no Artie tacked on the end to your reply. From the corner of your eye could you see him through the passthrough, eyeing you from his spot at the kitchen counter where he was taking the utmost care to not spill the mug of hot chocolate he was making you as he stirred it.

Even though your relationship was hardly out of its infancy, you both knew each other well enough to tell when something was wrong. Arthur was already so very in tune with your emotions, so you knew he wasn’t just going to let your morose mood go without a question or two, and you knew yourself enough to know that something about Arthur’s concern hit a soft spot in your heart, rendering you unable to keep much from him once he managed to get into your head. 

He seemed almost sad as he now stood in the entrance to the living room, his lips settled into a thin line as he kept his eyes trained on you. You felt yourself shrink under his gaze, the guilt from keeping something so major from him eating at you, but the uncertainty and apprehension of not only how you’d bring it up with Arthur, but how he’d react.

One of your worst fears was Arthur jumping on the opportunity to have you live with him. Not because you didn’t want to, not because you didn’t trust him or anything of the sort - but Arthur had a habit of putting the needs of others, especially your own, miles above his own. Money was much tighter for him than it was for you, and hell you had no idea if even combining incomes would be much help. No doubt that it would be some, but whether it would be enough, especially given the uncertain job climate of Gotham, left you scratching your head. 

Arthur took a seat next to you, the drink he brought you placed on the coffee table, and with a deep breath, you let it spill out faster than you really meant for it to.

Your lease was ending in just over a week. Your landlord had no intent of renewing it because someone else was moving in, and you had no money to move elsewhere yet, even after your best efforts at earning enough. You had no where to go, nothing to do, no way to remedy the situation - and time was running out.

Hell, you had no idea if at this point you even could do anything beyond accepting the inevitable.

“Why... don’t you stay here?” 

Arthur’s meek, yet hopeful voice raising such a suggestion made your ears perk up. You hadn’t even thought about that - but immediately did you know that it wouldn’t work. At least not yet.

“Art - I can’t do that, you know I can’t.” You couldn’t look at him as you spoke, the thought of being able to live in with him making your heart skip a beat, but the knowledge that it almost most definitely was not realistic at the moment making it hard to swallow.

“Why can’t you?”

“It won’t work - it’s not going to work.”

Though instantly you regret speaking those words, wincing once you realized what they implied. You knew Arthur and his anxieties well enough to know that it wasn’t improbable that he took “it won’t work” as meaning, you didn’t have enough faith in your relationship for it to work.

“ - Not like that,” You were quick to correct yourself, hoping to save the situation before it became more angst ridden. “I mean, living together. At least right now. Money is already tight for you, isn’t it? And I mean, it’s not like my own job is the most stable right now.”

“Y/N, do you really think that matters?” Arthur looked almost angry as he spoke, as if the fact that you were concerned about finances was ridiculous in such a situation. You knew Arthur enough to know he wasn’t actually mad, at least not at you, but still on edge at the threat of your loss of shelter. “You’ll be homeless, and - and who knows what could happen to you out there -” The hitch in Arthur’s breath as he spoke, coupled with the way his left hand gripped at the fabric of his trousers clued you in that this was something extremely distressing for him. 

You could feel tears welling up in your eyes, yet you refused to let them fall as you blinked them away. “Arthur -”

“Please,” Arthur’s hand shot out for your own, his warm from holding the hot drink previously as he held your hand tight in his own. “Y/N, please.. Don’t worry about money, we’ll figure it out - but it’s dangerous, it’s awful out there and I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you -” 

Had you not stopped him midsentence with a gentle “Hey -”, you’d no doubt Arthur would’ve either succumbed to a fit of laughter, tears, or both.

“ - Arthur, hey,” Your free hand that wasn’t kept in his own reached for his shoulder, tugging gently on the fabric of that brown cardigan you so loved, pulling him closer to you. His forehead came to rest on your shoulder, his breath just barely noticeable against the fabric of your chest. “I dont... I don’t know what I’d do, either - Arthur I just don’t want to add more to your plate, you’re already so overworked, I shouldn’t have even mentioned it.”

You could feel Arthur shake his head at your words, but he didn’t speak - not that you blamed him.

With your lips now pressed to the top of his head, you took a deep breath, breathing in his scent. That comforting scent you’ve come to love and seek out within the few months you’ve been with him - the scent you, really, wouldn’t mind being surrounded by all of the time. 

“We’ll try,” You said finally, not missing how Arthur seemed to tense up at your words. “Arthur I... would love to stay here - I would, love to live with you. It’s going to take some time to adjust - never mind actually making the move - but... I don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

You could’ve laughed at how Arthur shot up at this, his eyes wide as he seemed full of disbelief for a moment before your own reassuring smile sparked a growing grin on his face. “Do you really mean it, Y/N?”

“Waking up with, going to bed next to, coming home to you doesn’t sound all too bad, the more I think about it,” You whispered, your body finding its way to Arthur’s as his arms pulled you close. 

Maybe this home wouldn’t be so bad. 

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