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hangovercurse · 3 years

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Masterpiece

You and Colson have always had an unspoken agreement about what your relationship is, but one night might change everything.

Request: Hi, thank you for your imagines, love, they're incredible! I had an idea. Maybe when him and reader are getting close he gives a tour of his tattoos to them, cause the reader is very curious?

Colson x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of sex (nothing explicit but it’s there), a lot of touching

A/N: I had to do so much research for this, I’ve spent the last 48 hours staring at pictures of his chest. I know I didn’t include all of his tattoos, but he hasn’t talked about some of them or even shown them all that much.

Word Count: 3744

The only sounds in the room were your heavy breaths, mixing with his. You took a moment to compose yourself, the adrenaline still running through your body, before sitting up, bringing the comforter with you to cover your bare chest.

You scanned the room, looking for where your clothes had ended up in Colson’s mad rush to undress you. “You’re so beautiful, you know that?” Colson asked, his eyes wandering your body.

Heat rushed to your cheeks. You turned to look at him, a small smile playing on your face. “Careful there, someone’ll think you have feelings.”

He chuckled, reaching out to grab your waist and pulling you back down to the bed. You laid in his arms, head resting against his chest. “You should stay tonight.” He mumbled, fingers running up and down your arm.

You hummed, “Are you asking me to stay?” You looked up at him through your eyelashes, and he swore he almost fell in love right then and there.

You had never stayed the night before, you always just went to his house, fucked, and then left. Staying the night seemed too personal for what you were doing, two lonely souls finding solace in the dark but too afraid to face each other in the light.

“Will you stay the night?” He asked, fighting the urge to press a small kiss to your nose. You nodded, shifting so you were cuddled further into him, your left hand tracing the 1990 tattoo that spread across the left side of his chest.

His skin felt like it was on fire underneath your touch. “If you keep doing that, we’re not gonna be sleeping anytime soon.” He looked down at you, a smirk on his face. You let out a small laugh through your nose, dropping your hand to lay on his chest.

“Sorry.” You mumbled, “I just think they’re really pretty.”

“I think you’re really pretty.” You rolled your eyes, but a smile found its way to your lips. “Lemme show you all of them.” He sat up, pulling you with him. He reached over and flipped on the lamp beside his bed before pointing to the Est. 1990 tattoo that you had been tracing. “This one is pretty self-explanatory.” You giggled lightly.

“The raven I got done to cover up an older tattoo a while ago. I wanted something that would change the way everything looked.” You reached up, about to trace the dagger that went through the raven, before pulling your hand away. Colson smiled, grabbing your hand gently and pulling it up to his chest, silently asking you to trace the ink.

“Why the dagger?” Your voice was soft, but sincere.

He chuckled; you felt his chest move under your hand. “Thought it looked cool. I don’t know, the whole point of the raven was to be a change, so I guess it kinda represents killing an older version of me.”

You nodded, your hand moving down to the hourglass that rested below the claws. “That one just kind of looked cool. And it’s a reminder that we’re all living on limited time, so we should make the most of it.” You bit your lip, smiling at the thoughtfulness he put into all of them.

“And the spider?” You giggled, tracing his nipple and making him flinch.

He grabbed your hand, a tight-lipped smile on his face. “It goes with the bus.” He moved your hand to the red double decker bus beside the spider web. “Have I ever told you about the time I got hit by a bus in Manchester?”

Your eyes went wide, looking up at him with concern. He laughed, “It was like, 8 years ago. Don’t worry.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes dramatically, “I wasn’t worried.”

He laughed before continuing, “I got hit by this bus while crossing the street looking for weed at like 7 am. The windshield shattered like a fucking spiderweb; it was crazy. And then I just got back up.” You traced the stick figure that was flying off the bus.

“Sometimes I wonder how you’re still alive.” You joked, your voice still quiet.

He watched you intently, taking in the movement of your fingers around his rib cage. “I do too.”

“I mean, I’m happy you’re still alive, its just a little crazy.”

“Careful there, someone’ll think you have feelings.” He echoed a joke you made earlier. You pushed on his chest lightly, smiling. “This one,” he moved your hand to sit just under his armpit, “is the final scene from The Giving Tree."

“That was my favorite book as a kid.” You mumbled; your attention fully focused on the tattoo that you missed Colson’s adoring smile. “Why’d you get it?”

He was quiet for a moment, and you looked up to catch his pale blue eyes. “At one point in my life, it felt like I was giving away every part of me. I felt like the tree, I still do sometimes.”

You nodded, still holding his gaze. You leaned down and pressed a small kiss to the tattoo. This was the most intimate thing you and Colson have ever done, even more so than sex. He was opening up parts of himself to you, something you both had tried to avoid until now.

You looked back at the ink, smiling as your eye caught the tattoo on the underside of his right arm. “Jessica Rabbit, really?” You giggled.

He chuckled, raising his arm to show you the full tattoo. “She’s hot, what can I say?” You rolled your eyes. “You’ve never seen a cartoon character and thought, “damn, he’s sexy as hell”?”

You shook your head, holding back a laugh. “I wouldn’t get him tattooed on me.” He pulled you into his chest, arms wrapping around you. “I wanna keep talking about your tattoos.” You whined, looking up at him.

“I was trying to enjoy the moment, but okay.” He made a face at you and you giggled, leaning into his chest and resting there for a few moments, basking in his presence. You had been scared of moments like these with Colson, and you knew he was too. After Megan, he’d had issues trusting anyone, not that you blame him. But then he’d found you, and you had trust issues of your own, so naturally you two attracted each other while simultaneously keeping each other at arm’s length. But now the distance was closing ever so slightly.

You leaned off Colson, suddenly aware of the change occurring. “I gotta pee.” You mumbled, climbing off the bed, and walking to the en suite bathroom.

“Your ass looks cute.” He called after you, and you blushed when you remembered you were still nude. You took your time in the bathroom, sorting through your thoughts and reminding yourself that you and Colson only existed after 9pm.

When you walked back into the room, you grabbed your panties and pulled them up your legs, then threw Colson’s shirt over your bare chest. He groaned, “you just wanna cover everything up, don’t you?”

You rolled your eyes and climbed back into his bed. He was leaning against the headboard, so you moved to do the same, but he grabbed you and pulled you so you were straddling his lap, facing his chest. His left hand grasped your right, pressing a soft kiss to its top before moving it to his right arm.

“This one reminds me how to get home, literally.” He rested your hand on his 71 North tattoo, “but it’s also a reminder to stay grounded. Always remember where I come from, you know?”

You nodded, tracing each letter and number. “Same thing for the 216 East.”

“What about the compass star?” You whispered, hand moving down to his elbow to trace the seven-pointed star.

“I was gonna get there, don’t rush me.” He joked, pulling his right arm across his chest so you could see the ink better. “It has an E at all the points, because all roads lead back to Cleveland, which is East.”

“That was really cheesy.” You giggled, looking up to his face. He rolled his eyes, his right hand grabbing your free hand and intertwining your fingers. He pulled both your hands up and out, forcing you closer to him. Your faces were close, too close. You were worried he was going to kiss you, and more worried that you were gonna let him. He seemed to realize what he was about to do moments before your lips touched and pulled away, letting your hands go.

You looked down, both of you pretending that didn’t just almost happen. “What does this one say?” You whispered, pointing to the text on his right forearm.

He looked where you were pointing, and smiled sadly. “RIP B. Arnold. I got it after my grandma died. She was probably one of the best people I’ve ever known. She was so open and unjudgmental. She was really special.”

You frowned, “I’m so sorry. I had no idea…” You trailed off, still running your eyes over the letters.

“It’s okay, I got this done a long time ago.” His voice was soft, his eyes watching your face as you studied his painted skin. “But thank you.”

You were quiet for a long time, eyes moving over the other tattoos on his right arm before wandering back to his chest. Your pointer finger ran over the Locals Only tattoo and the Anarchy symbol on his stomach, before moving lower to the “Almost Famous” letters. “If you go any lower I’m gonna get way too distracted to tell you about the rest.” He joked, but you knew he was a little serious.

“That’s the second time you’ve threatened to have sex with me and not followed through. It’s almost like you don’t even want to anymore.” You teased, hands running back up to his chest and resting on his shoulders.

He raised an eyebrow at you, as if you challenged him. “Do you want a tour of my tattoos or not?” You nodded, a laugh falling from your lips. Colson shook his head lightly, looking down at your body in his shirt. “You are something else.” He mumbled under his breath. You were pretty sure you weren’t supposed to hear it, so you pretended you didn’t. You also pretended your heart didn’t flutter at the words.

You moved back from him, eyes scanning his rib cage. “What about this one?” You asked, pointing at the portrait of a man holding a sign that read “Keep your coins, I want change.” You traced it, smiling, “I like it.”

“That’s one of Banksy’s works. The political street artist?” You nodded your head, letting Colson know that you had heard of them. “I thought it was really smart and I like what it means a lot.”

You smiled up at him, admiring the way he lit up when he talked about issues that are important to him. “I like it, too.” Your hand moved up, finding the cursive name a few inches above. You were hesitant to trace it, knowing it bordered on the line of too personal.

“That one’s got a pretty obvious meaning.” He chuckled, seeing where your attention was focused. You smiled, nodding. “You should meet her one day.” He said without thinking.

Your eyes snapped up to his, and you could see the wheels turning in his brain as he realized what he said, “or not, if you don’t- I mean, you don’t have- never mind. Forget I said anything.”

You found his stuttering endearing. “If we ever get to that point, I’d love to meet her.” You whispered, trying to hide the smile that nipped at your lips. Stop it. The voice in your head screamed. This would never work out. You’re just going to get hurt.

Your hand rested on his upper arm, where he had an image of a building with an eye above it. “1984, huh?” You asked, the smile breaking through.

Colson couldn’t help the way he looked at you, stars in his eyes. “You’re one of the only people to ever get it without me telling them.”

“I didn’t expect you to be an Orwell kind of guy.” You chuckled, tracing the eye with your thumb. “It’s really good. I love the cracks in the building and all the shading. It’s beautiful.” Your voice held so much awe, Colson had to stop himself from grabbing your face and kissing you until your lips bled.

He hadn’t felt like this since, well since Megan. And that scared him like hell considering how messed up he was after she left. He’d been afraid to let anyone else in after that, which is why he was so grateful he found you. You were in the same position, you wanted someone to fill the space in your bed but nothing more. But as he spent more time with you, Colson realized he was starting to want more than that.

“I really liked the idea of the people versus this big overbearing power. Like I wanna believe that people still have a say in their lives, that I still have control over my life. Even when it feels like I don’t.” Despite all the stupid shit he did, Colson was incredibly intelligent, and it showed in moments like this.

“That’s amazing.” You breathed, still tracing the cracks in the bricks. A small blush made its way to his cheeks, and he turned his head away from you to hid it.

You flipped his arm to look at the inside, finding the words “Kiss the sky” in black ink. You leaned down, pressing a light kiss to the words. Colson’s head snapped towards you at the sensation, a small chuckle leaving his lips when he realized what tattoo you were kissing. “Cute.” He commented.

You smiled, lips traveling down his arm to the black heart. “Let me guess, you got this one to represent your cold, black heart.” You chuckled, rolling your eyes as he frowned, playfully.

“You’re so mean.” He whispered, biting his lip. “I did, actually, but you make it sound lame. I wanted to say something about the industry with it, how cold it made me.”

You nodded, smiling. “That’s not lame.” You paused, considering your next words. “Do you really feel like that? Like your soul is so dark and cold that there’s no more color inside?”

He studied you, the way you slowly traced the outline of the anatomical heart. “Sometimes, but then I look at Casie or Slim, or any of the people who I love, and who love me, and it gets a little easier.”

“You’re lucky,” you whispered, “to have so many people who love you. People that can pull you out of your head.”

You sighed, moving your attention from the tattoo, and shaking yourself out of your thoughts. His hand reached for your jaw, trying to hold your face but you moved away, looking at his rose tattoo. “This one’s pretty cool.”

He had to lean forward to see which one you were focused on. “I got that one after Bloom. It’s all about becoming a flower from a bud.”

“Yeah, it’s really good.” You sighed, moving your hand up to a red line near his heart, a tattoo of a cut. “What’s this one?”

He threw his head backwards, a laugh leaving his lips. “It’s so stupid now. I got it because I felt like someone ripped my heart out a few years ago. I thought it was really smart at the time but I ended up getting over it and now I’m left with this stupid tattoo.”

You giggled, “I don’t think its that stupid.” Emphasizing the word “that.”

“Here,” he sat up, moving you off his lap and leaning forward so you could see his back, “this is a cool one.”

You had seen the tattoos on his back a few times, but you’d never really gotten to study it. “This is beautiful.” You murmured, reaching out to touch it gently. He flinched under your soft touch, goosebumps forming on his skin. “Sorry.” You whispered, removing your hand.

“It’s okay, your hand’s just cold.” He chuckled. “It’s Dali’s Temptation of Saint Anthony.” He started, and your hand went back to wandering his back. “A lot of people interpret it differently, but I like the idea that the man with the cross is repenting for his sins. Reminds me that we always have a chance to become better people. We can always repent.”

You took in his words, not saying anything. You traced the cross in the figure’s hand, a small smile on your face. “And then, the MGK, of course.”

You rolled your eyes, “Only you would get your own initials tattooed across your back.” You chuckled, jokingly. “It’s really well done.” You reached up and rubbed his shoulders, squeezing gently. “Someone’s tense.” You whispered, feeling the stiffness of his shoulders.

He groaned as you gently massaged his shoulders, moving to sit behind him with your knees on either side of his waist. He leaned his head back onto your shoulders, looking up at you. “You are too good to me.” He mumbled, pressing a kiss to your neck.

You chuckled, leaning down to graze his lips, “I’m not doing this for free.” You mumbled, connecting your lips in a hot, needy kiss. He shifted so that he could twist his upper body to face you, taking your bottom lip between his teeth. You moaned into his mouth, hands moving up to his neck and pulling him closer to you.

He pulled away, resting his forehead against yours. “I thought you wanted to see the rest of my tattoos?” He asked, a smirk on his face.

You rolled your eyes pushing him away from you and moving back to his left side, sitting with your legs tucked under you. “I do, but I can’t help that I’m in your bed and you look fuckable right now.” You leaned in and pressed a kiss to his neck, just below his ear.

“Let me finish the tour and then maybe I can help you with that.” He rubbed your bare thigh as you sucked on his neck, leaving a mark.

You whined when your lips left his skin, a pout on your face. “What’s this one, then?” You asked, hand tracing the two X’s on his ear.

“It’s part of the MGK brand. C’mon, you should know this.” He laughed, obviously messing with you. “I don’t know it just kind of became our symbol after 19XX was created. It’s the family.”

You smiled, pressing a kiss to the black ink. “Cute.”

He blew air out of his nose, hands moving to the sheets that were covering his lower half. You raised an eyebrow at him, tilting your head. “I have two more that I wanna show you on my legs, get your mind out of the gutter.” You giggled as he pushed the fabric to the side, exposing his right leg.

You noticed the obvious tattoo, the marijuana leaf on his right knee. “That one’s really creative.” You said sarcastically. He chuckled, watching you trace the words around it. “Into the woods I go, to lose my mind and find my soul.” You read the tattoo out loud, biting your lip to hide the grin on your face.

“John Muir. I thought it was really meaningful. I keep digging my own holes in order to crawl out of the ones I’m already in. But I think it’s made me know myself better.” You looked up at him, your eyes shining bright. His eyes met yours briefly, and then flittered away, cheeks turning pink.

“Okay, last one. It’s not nearly as cool as some of the other ones, but I think you’ll appreciate it.” He pulled his knee towards his chest, angling the limb so you could see the tattoo on the inside of his ankle. It was two stick figures, one with a mohawk.

You smiled, “Radiohead but make it Colson Baker.” You mumbled, shaking your head with a giggle.

He nodded, “I was fucked up when I got this one.” He laughed, “But it’s kinda grown on me.”

“I was expecting some big lead up to like, the final tattoo that was gonna be so special. Instead, you give me two stick figures and the word punk on your ankle.” You chuckled, seeing the small pout on his face. “I’m kidding.” You laughed, moving to sit on his lap again, your hand resting on his chest.

“Thank you,” you whispered, hands running over his chest, “for showing me all these.”

“I’ve never really explained all of them to anyone before. Like people can see them and I’ve talked about some of them in interviews, but nothing like this before.” His hands wrapped around your waist, pulling you even closer to him.

You looked down, biting your lip. “Why’d you show me?”

He bent his head down to catch your eyes, nose rubbing against yours. “Cause I wanted you to know.” You smiled, meeting his gaze. Your hand reached to the back of his neck, pulling him enough that his lips crashed into yours.

You were expecting the kiss to be sloppy, hungry, but instead it was unlike any kiss you’d ever shared with him. It was sweet, soft, and oddly personal. It said all the things Colson was too scared to speak.

You pulled away, confusion lingering behind your eyes. What does he mean? What do I mean? What are we doing?

His eyes seemed to hold all the answers. I’m terrified to want you, but I can’t stop myself.

You leaned back into him, kissing him softly. His hands hesitantly ran up your sides before moving to your cheeks, cradling your face in his hands. “Let’s get to sleep.” You whispered after separating, a smile on our face. You gave his lips a quick peck before climbing off of him.

He turned the lamp beside him off, encasing you in darkness. You laid down on the bed, facing away from him. Moments later he settled down, facing your back. He reached out and pulled your hip so that you were facing him. You got the hint and flipped over fully, a grin on your lips. Silently, he pulled you closer to him, holding you tightly as you drifted off to sleep for the first time together.

#mgk #mgk imagine #mgk angst #mgk fluff #machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly imagine #Colson baker #colson x reader #colson baker imagine #colson baker fluff #colson baker angst

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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House of Mouse April Fools Special: Donald’s Pumbaa Prank (Patreon Review for WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people and welcome to my April Fool’s Special! And it’s also my patreon review for the month as Kev just so happened to randomly hit this one and once I realized it was an april fools episode I moved it up since things have been kinda hectic in the old brainpan lately, and as such my output slowed down a bit so I really wasn’t in great shape to do 4 episodes in one day. So instead see what hyjinks, fart jokes and murders of beloved disney characters insue under the cut as the hosue of mouse gets a bit foolish

The Wraparound:

It’s April Fools day at the House of Mouse and Donald pulls a prank on MIckey by cutting his break lines.. wait no that was last year. No this year he just puts some wax on the stage and MIckey trips, Donald laughs. Now if this were the real world this would be really dangerous and probably destroy their friendship and MIckey’s spine. But this is a cartoon that runs on cartoon physics. He was in no real danger. So Mickey’s retaliation on the other hand.. is just showing embarassing footage of Donald. It makes him come off as unecessarily cruel as instead of an actual prank or joke it’s just “Hey look at this embarassing footage of my friend I dug up”

This plot DOES get a lot bettter though after the setup: Pete talks Donald into kidnapping Pumba, planning to use Pumbas farts to clear out the club...

Yeah i’m not big on fart jokes. I’m not against them, when used right they can be comedy gold.. this song from bobs burgers is one such example

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It’s just a lot of times farts and other bodily functions are used as the joke alone. That’s it. There’s no actual laughs or content too said laughs, i’ts jsut this is gross. Thankfully this episode does not go really deep down the grossdout rabit hole, as we don’t see the fart on screen.. but it still dosen’t make “Pumbas’ ass gas is going to destroy the house of mouse” funny.

There are some funny gags though: Donald’s method of distracting Timon so Pete can kidnap Pumbaa is to just stand there not saying anything and weirding Timon out , their replacement is just a bowling ball, two horns and a sack of something, and when Timon goes looking for Pumbaa, finds Zazu under a plate the hyena’s have.. and then just leaves him there. Seriously Timon just.. let’s Zazu die and I am here for it.

Donald meanwhile thinks Mickey is planning another prank after mickey apologizes and has a special thing planned but it’s really jsut a lifetime achivment award, so Donald tries to stop it, then reveals the truth when Pumba shows up.. and gets his award taken away. Even though he had every reason to think Mickey was going to pull something because honest as he is i’ts april fools day. Mickey just... obnoxious in this one and it speaks to a larger problem with the series I remember from when I was a kid that i’ve noticed once or twice now: The show tends to have Squidward Syndrome, i.e. it treats Donald who can be obnoxious as wrong.. even when he’s done nothing wrong THIS EPISODE, like spongebob did to squidward at times, or if he has done something wrong his punishment is dispororitante. Donald did a minor prank.. and MIckey publicly humiliated him and Donald TREID to stop his prank. And goes above and behond to stop it, taking the fart attack at ground zero. Speaking of which the fart attack scene from parks and rec, also a good fart joke.

And MIckey.. learns nothing by playing the test footage again even though Donald was just ground zero at an attomic level ass.

Final Thoughts for the Wraparound: It’s not great. I”m noticing that trend with Season 1 in general, where they really just didn’t have a ton of idea of what to do with the wraparounds. The episodes still vary in quality, but outside of the pilot most of the season 1 episodes are pretty disapointing as an adult, very simplistic plots that often don’t use the club’s nature to their full advantage or the characters to the same. It would get better though, but it’s something to notice. onto the shorts.

The Friend for Life: This is a pretty simple one. Sam and Max, are after the mad Thesipian, whose exactly what he sounds like. We even get a really neat visual gag as sam just.. uses his little buddy as a sword while the Thespian uses a candelabra. But while our Freelance Police catch the weirdo, and Max takes a ride in the saftey tramp they set up for the guy, he escapes when the two are distracted by Norm, THE FRIEND FOR LIFEEEEEEEE. An obessive fanboy played by Patrick Mackenna of the Red Green Show, esentially playing an older and stalkery version of Harold.. now I think about it this might be his dad. I mean we don’t know where he went or what hapepend to the guy. Maybe he just went to the states to obesss over a rabbit and Dog. I don’t know.

Lorne wants to help our heroes while Max understandably wants to run him over and sam just runs past him the minute they can. But despite finding the thespians layer Max: (Singsong) We’re here to arressttt youuu Sam: (Also singsong): Rememberrrrr.. crimesss against humanitty? But it turns out Lorne, THE FRIEEEND FOR LIFFFEEEE, kidnapped him and puts on a show for htem of fighting thier old eneimies and a roller coaster death trap. Our heroes escape and begrudignly thank lorne even if they find his stalker shrine a bit much.

Final Thoughts for The Friend For LIfe: A really solid episode and the fact i’ve binged several sam and max episodes since then really speaks to how good this one was. Seriously really funny stuff and I didn’t even cover half the great jokes in this one. Check it out, it’s on youtube.

Mickey’s April Fools: An odd one but a fun one. MIckey is taking his asshole pills and goes overboard with his pranks, faking proposing to Minnie and faking his death after Mortimer pranks him. But it works... I mean is it grossly out of character? Oh god yes. Would it have made more sense by swapping out Mickey, Minnie and Mortimer with Donald, Daisy and either the boys or pete? Entirely. Is this short still hilarous. Yup. While i’ts not the best they’ve done on the show, it’s still really entertaining. The two end up getting him back, MOrtimer by faking a will reading only to have it go really poorly for Mickey as his death was reported, donald refuses to help due to Mickey’s last words to mortimer being “I’ve never undestood him” and Goofy being.. goofy. And MIckey is left hanging from a pole by minnie because fuck him. An out of character one.. but the sheer oddity of mickey being this dickish in the house of mouse shorts makes it work. Be A Man: As a debut album for Randy Savage this Album is audotirally fucktacular, and with some polish randy could’ve had a long and successful rap career. As it stands, it is a sad one off not ein his career.

Critters: On an asteroid prison, a group of dangerous aliens known as Krites are set to be transported to another station. The Krites engineer an escape and hijack a ship, prompting the warden to hire two shape-changing bounty hunters to pursue them to Earth. Studying life on Earth via various satellite television transmissions, the first bounty hunter assumes the form of rock star Johnny Steele, while the second remains undecided, thus retaining his blank, featureless head. On a rural Kansas farm, the Brown family sits down to breakfast. Father Jay and mother Helen send teenage daughter April and younger son Brad off to school while waiting on mechanic Charlie McFadden. A former baseball pitcher, Charlie has become the town drunk and crackpot, with claims of alien abductions foretold by messages through his fillings.

Playing with overly potent self-made fireworks and Charlie's slingshot, Brad takes the blame when Charlie accidentally shoots April and is grounded as a result. On the roof that evening, Brad mistakes the Critters' crashing spaceship for a meteorite; Jay and Brad investigate and interrupt the creatures consuming a cow. The creatures thereafter kill and feed on a local police officer, and later besiege the farm and cut its electrical connection. While checking the circuit breaker, Jay is attacked by one of the Critters and, being severely wounded, just barely manages to escape

.In the barn, April is about to have sex with her boyfriend Steve when he is killed by the one of the Critters; the creature itself is slain when it devours one of Brad's lit firecrackers. The remaining Critters sabotage the Browns' and Steve's cars, forcing the Browns to hole up inside the main house. Meanwhile, the two bounty hunters search the town for the Critters, causing a panic at the church and bowling alley, with the second hunter assuming the form of various townspeople, including Charlie. Brad escapes the farm to get help and runs into the bounty hunters, and upon learning of their true nature and intentions, he leads them to the Critters' location.

The last surviving Critters kidnap April and return to their ship when the bounty hunters arrive, and attempt to flee. Charlie and Brad manage to rescue April, but Brad drops a large firecracker he intended to use to destroy the ship when the Critters discover their escape. Just as the Critters take off and destroy the farmhouse out of spite, Charlie throws a Molotov cocktail made from his whiskey bottle into the ship, causing a fire which detonates the cracker and kills the Critters. The bounty hunters leave in their ship after giving Brad a handheld device to contact them in case of future invasion, and also restore the house. Unbeknownst to them, Critter eggs can be seen in the barn inside a chicken's nest that seem to be ready to hatch.

Final Thoughts on Critters: Critters is a wonderful film, despite what Rapheal from the teenage mutant ninja turtles might think but fuck him he has scabies. It’s fun, energetic, and ahs a great premise of instead of it JUST being on our heroes to repel the invaders, their caught between two diffrent sets of aliens instead and instead of a chisled jawed heroes the good aliens are simply bounty hunters with no care about collateral and only doing a job. It’s a damn fine film and I still need to make time to watch the sequel.

Donald’s River Thing:

This is a simple one. Donald plans to go fishing, finds out it’s his and Daisy’s anniversary, her half birthday and valentine’s day and has to take her along and make it like a thing while being a dick about wanting to still fish, but in a very funny way while the local fish fight back. This is easily the standout of the episode incredibly funny, increidbly wholesome, and an incredibly good time. Really great stuff.

Invincible Episodes 1-3:

This seires is fucking fantastic and you should go watch it. GO WATCH IT.

Final Thoughts overall:

YOUR NOT WATCHING IT

Final Thoughts Overall: This is a decent episode not much to say except HIT IT BOYS

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#april fools day #the house of mouse #mickey mouse #donald duck #pete pete #minnie mouse #mortimer mouse #daisy duck #sam and max #timon #pumbaa #timon and pumbaa #invincible #critters #cheese #fine cheese

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casmybelovedass · 4 years

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The Destiel Folder: Season 7

[Season 4; Season 5; Season 6]

This season is mostly Dean being a depressed bi who can't cope with his crush's death.

This is, in my opinion, the season where Dean actually starts realizing he might for real think of Cas as something more.

Episode 1:

Cas is basically gone, both Bobby and Sam (almost) are ready to compel to whatever he says, but Dean still tries to get him to come back. "You can turn this around. Please!" (3:13) Denial

Dean has no idea how to deal with God!Castiel, but desperate to find him, and getting emotional "I don't even know what book to hit for this." "Then figure it out!" (5:47) Anger

As we have said many times already, angels don't have a sex, Castiel is not a man, and as he states, he is "utterly indifferent to sexual orientation" (8:03), and so is Chuck, God himself, who has admitted having had both girlfriends and boyfriends.

Dean turns off the news the moment he hears a woman describe Cas as "young and sexy", while doing that jaw clentch thing of his (10:14) ... huh... [and this doesn't really matter, but after this we immediately see Dean in a purple flannel. PURPLE! Go Bi!Dean]

"He's not a guy, he's a God [...] Cas is never coming back. He's lied to us, he's used us, he's cracked your gourd like it was nothing. No more talk. We've spent enough on him." (11:09) Dean trying to jump to the 5th stage of grief. Yeah, no baby that's not how it works

Dean tries so hard to convince himself that Cas's gone so he can kill him, but can't really. "Just kill him now!" and struggles hard to hold Castiel's glare. And as soon as Death offers a second option to killing him, Dean takes it. Bargening

"Dean, look, I know you think Cas is gone." "That's because he is." (31:22) Again with trying to jump to acceptance. Not doing great, Dean. In fact, "Yeah, you know how I'm gonna deal? I'm gonna stuff my pie hole, I'm gonna drink, and I'm gonna watch some asian cartoon porn. And act like the world's about to explode, because it is." (32:17) There it is. Depression.

[Remember this: Dean has no shame in watching porn in front of his brother. Wait a few seasons and see]

Just moments earlier, Dean was all "That's not Cas, Cas is dead" and shit, and now he goes "What? You need something else?" worried-husband-mode the moment Cas asks for help (34:50). Also#MARRIED (35:16)

Bobby: "Where's Sam? It's go time." Dean: *looks back at Cas worried* (37:12)

MUST HELP HUSBAND (38:06) look at Dean's eyes!!! They're like 'It's okay, it's okay. You've got this.' "I'm sorry, Dean." Cas chose these words to be his last, thinking he was going to die. LOOK AT DEAN (38:21) ICWAW this would MEAN SOMETHING ELSE

"CAS! [...] Is he breathing? ... Maybe angels don't need to breathe." says the one who was going around saying Cas was gone for good. "He's gone, Dean." "... damn it... *tears up* Cas, you child... Why didn't you listen to me." #MARRIED (39:15) Then he goes "CAS?!" as soon as he starts breathing again. ICWAW, we would SCREAM "LOVE" in this scene

"Imma find some way to redeem myself to you *looks at Dean straight in the eyes*" "*looks at Cas up and down*... Alright, well, one thing at the time, come on. Let's get you out of here." "I mean it, Dean." *eye love-making* "... Okay." (40:30) ICWAW, oooohhh, the meanings this scene would have...

Dean's face when the Leviathans tell him Cas is dead. Again. (41:18)

Episode 2:

Dean looking at the Leviathans occupying Cas' body. The HATE (1:44)

"... okay... so he's gone. *shakes while tearing up* [...] Dumb son of a bitch..." (5:14) Here we go again... I'm fine, shut up

Dean picks up, washes, folds and keeps Cas' coat (5:23) SWEET

"You just lost one of the best friends you've ever had." this hurts me. "... I'm fine, really." (12:11)

"You asked me how I was doing? Well, not good." (38:54)

Episode 5:

Dean progressively drinks more as his nightmares get worse and he misses Cas more and more. 3 times we see him drink, only in the first 12 minutes.

Sam can tell Dean feels like shit, and bet one of those reasons is Cas "Like it or not, the stuff you don't talk about, it doesn't just go away. It builds up." (39:33) Yeah, and not only problems or grief... even love

Episode 7:

Not a destiel moment, but Dean totally got hit on by the waiter. LOL (7:30)

And again. What is it with men in this town and Dean. "We're looking for a necklace." "Romantic. *looks at Dean*" (12:17). Is it an energy reading thing or something? Can they feel the bi energy?

"The Campbell brothers. [...] They weren't actually brothers. That was a cover for their, uhm... alternative life style." (22:40) Huh... I guess calling your lover "brother" runs in the family

"Ever since Cas... I'm having a hard time trusting anybody." (40:44) ouch

Episode 9:

Dean is drunk/high on Leviathan juice, and the first thing he thinks and blabbers about, is Cas (19:48) "I don't even care anymore." Oooohh ICWAW... the possibilities for this scene

Episode 12:

Dean totally checked out that man in uniform. FIGHT ME (16:27)

Episode 13:

"You're head's not in it, man. When Cas died, you were wobbly, but now-" "Now what!!" (39:35) as soon as Sam mentions Cas' death, Dean gets snappy

Episode 17:

Dean keeps getting snappy whenever Sam mentions Cas

"OH my God the love of my life is alive!" (13:02-13:06)

Dean's face when Daphne touches Cas (13:25), and when he calls her his wife (13:41)

AND HIS FUCKING FACE TRYING NOT TO TEAR UP BECAUSE CAS DOESN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING ABOUT HIM (14:16)

You mean to tell me that ICWAW this wouldn't be seen as a mini desperation moment from a man seeing his lover in this situation? Yeah, I don't think so

"What if you were some sort of... I don't know, bad guy." "I... I don't feel like a bad person." Dean's face is like "Damn right you aren't" (16:50)

"He betrayed you, this dude. He was your friend?" Dean looking at him... can't even answer the question (19:59)

Dean says Cas' betrayal is something he cant get over like everything else. And that he doesn't know why. "It doesn't matter why." "Of course it matters!" (20:25)

Dean gets visibly uneasy about Meg being so close to Cas (25:34) jealous boyfriend is jealous

Dean doesn't want Cas to remember, afraid he'll leave again (32:18)

"I've known you for years!" (32:34) poor baby. Also "You're an angel." "Uhm, I'm sorry? Is that a flirtation?" DEAN'S FACE (32:42)

Dean doesn't want Cas to be hurt by his own memories and past actions (33:00)

"You used to fight together. Bestest friends, actually." Yeah, look at that reaction. Let's see how he reacts to being called his boyfriend later on (33:09)

#MARRIED!!! I'll just leave this. No comment (33:41)

As Cas regains his memories, only 2 of the ones we see are not of Dean. And the only one we hear is the "I'm sorry, Dean." . That is what matters to Cas (and this looks like a slash video. Kudos to the editors) "I remember you... I remember everything." Yeah, no-homo save (34:35)

Not even an hour earlier, Dean was ranting about Cas betraying him, how he couldn't forget and forgive him, and now he is saying Cas did "the best you could at the time", but Cas actually feels guilt and doesn't want Dean to defend him, but Dean does anyway (36:53)

"We didn't part as friends, Dean." "*looks at Cas up and down*... So what?" "I deserved to die." the look on Dean's face (37:18)

Dean gives Cas his trench coat back. The trench coat he kept, folded and all the the truck, for weeks. And that's not even Baby. So he moved the coat, to always have it with him (37:26). I'm not crying, shut up

Also, here, have a deleted scene that breaks my heart

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Episode 20:

Let us all appreciate that one time Dean helped a lesbian flirt with a dude (24:27-25:03)

Episode 21:

Dean is devastated about Cas' mental state, that he did that to himself to save Sam. Look at his eyes in this scene (16:08). Also, Dean still resents Cas for the whole 'New God' crap, but it feels like the real reason is the fact that he left (19:18)

"Cas! Don't make me pull this car over!" "Are you angry? Why are you angry? *puppy eyes*" "... No I-I'm..." #MARRIED (27:28)

Cas says he won't fight anymore, but as soon as Dean's in trouble, he FLIPS

"The angels... they don't care... I think maybe they don't have the equipment to care." (31:49) Touchy much, Dean?, are you trying to convince yourself about that? It feels like he's making excuses to not let himself feel anything for Cas. "It seems like when they try, it just... breaks them apart." ... OK, fuck everything, ICWAW this would totally be seen as romantic angsty reference to Cas

Cas is so lost in his guilt for what he has caused. He looks like a baby, and it gets worse when it comes to Dean

"Why should we give you anything? After everything you have taken from us? The very touch of you curropts. When Castiel first laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost!" (36:50) okay damn, ICWAW all of this would seem as if they were talking about a love relationship between the two and you can't tell me otherwise

'HURT HUSBAND-MUST PROTECT MODE' (37:17)

"The bone of a righteous mortal and the blood of a fallen angel" ... shut up, I'm dying over these clues (39:11)

"What are you gonna do, Cas?" Dean's eyes are begging him to stay. ICWAW, we would point that out without a shadow of a doubt (39:40)

Episode 23:

"Dude... on my car. He showed up naked... covered in bees!" ... come on, ICWAW this would be a HUGE deal (5:10)

"Go ask him. He was your boyfriend first." (8:51) LISTEN HERE. I study psychology, and one of the first things they teach you is that jokes are based on the truth. HOW MANY OF THESE JOKES WERE MADE?! HUH??!! (plus all the "Dick" jokes Sam made) Also Dean's reaction with the jaw clentch... just saying

Cas keeps stating he doesn't want to fight, but again, Dean's in trouble? FIGHT MODE

"*soft shoulder touch, puppy eyes, serves Dean a sandwich*" ... SOFT #MARRIED COUPLE (18:27)

"You got anything to say on the topic of dicks?" you'd like that, wouldn't you, Dean? (26:42)

Cas is afraid he will do something to cause Dean more trouble. Let's remember he chose what he believed were his last words to be "I'm sorry, Dean.", but as we know, Dean deals with feelings by showing anger... Cas gets upset and copes by playing twister... pathetic. "I can't help. [...] I destroyed everything and I will destroy everything again!" for a moment, Cas is lucid, and expresses his fear, but as soon as Dean gets angry with him, Cas gows back to hide in his world of crazy (26:47)

"I'm not good luck, Dean." "... You know what? [...] I'd rather have you. Cursed or not." Look at Cas' soft little smile as it grows. ICWAW, this would be read as another confession (32:38)

"I'll go with you." SOFT

SEE??! The MOMENT Dick threatens Dean, Cas goes full Angel of the Lord on his ass. MUST PROTECT HUSBAND (36:52) and the utter shock on Dean's face is priceless

And here comes PurGAYtory

[Season 8>>]

113 notes · View notes

trillian-anders · 4 years

Text

suspect - ii

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

warnings: descriptive violence, graphic descriptions of crime scenes, angst, slow burn

word count: 3.7k

description: au detective!bucky barnes x investigative journalist!reader;

still wet behind his ears, detective barnes is given his very first homicide case, a woman no one seems to care about had been murdered. it’s only when investigative journalist reader brings the small details to his attention that he realizes there’s a bigger problem. a serial killer no one was paying attention to.

He’d passed this diner a million times and had never gone inside. It was tightly packed between two buildings almost like it didn’t really belong. The bright neon sign above the door lit him blue as he stepped into the diner, eyes scanning the room until he found what he was looking for. Your back to the brick, typing away on your laptop. Coffee and an untouched slice of blueberry pie going cold next to you.

He didn’t know why he was here. Maybe he shouldn’t be. But how did you know? How did you know that Cheryl’s ring finger was taken? He had to at least absolve that, and then he could go. He could leave. That’s all he is here for. In the moments before you realized he was even there, before he takes a seat across from you, he takes in your appearance.

Windswept hair and wrinkled clothes he was sure were your ‘business casual’ a bare requirement for the office you worked in. But he knew you were attractive. Brock didn’t have to tell him that, he has eyes. The warning in the back of his head, he needed to keep his distance from you. He knows that. But he just must know.

You look up at him as he approaches, sitting back in the booth as he takes a seat across from you. “Hi.” He folds his hands in front of him,

“Hi.” You slip the laptop off to the side as the server approaches.

“Can I grab you anything?” Sweet and polite, giving you a questioning look. He wondered if you had much company here. Marie, on her name tag, seemed to know you.

“Just a coffee, please.” A nod and she was gone.

“So what did you have to talk to me about?” As you took a sip of yours. He sighs, back against the booth.

“How did you know she was missing her ring finger?” Blunt and to the point, he watched your mouth part and then close.

“Because that’s what he does.” You say simply.

“That’s what who does?” You stare at him for a moment more,

“The Boston Butcher.” A pause while Marie set the coffee mug on the table, pouring him fresh coffee and topping yours off. A gentle ‘thank-you’ from your lips before she walks away. The case Steve told him about. The guy who, from 89-99 murdered twenty sex workers in the Combat Zone, the red light district. But he had to admit it had markers of the case. “Detective… it’s the same MO, it’s the same process. The ring finger missing… she was strangled and when your toxicology report comes back from her autopsy, you’ll find ketamine in her system. It’s what he uses to subdue them.”

Bucky shakes his head, “The Boston Butcher is in jail, and has been for almost twenty years now.” He saw the mug shot. Nicholas Joseph Fury, his priors included drug possession and two misdemeanors. The man looked angry in his mug shot, is left eye milky and blue, half shut with a scar. He looked terrifying.

You sigh, tracing the rim of your coffee mug, thinking. “Okay well, it’s a copycat then.” You shrug, meeting his eyes. “Because that is the MO of the Boston Butcher and I wouldn’t be surprised if you find another girl six months from now.”

“We have a suspect for Cheryl’s murder.” He explains. A man who he had just interrogated not that long ago. A man who didn’t have an alibi. You laugh sarcastically,

“Then why are you here?” How could he answer that when he didn’t even know himself? Curiosity? Doubt? Steve had seemed pleased with him finding this lead, no one else bat an eyelash at him going for the ex-boyfriend. It’s more likely. Statistically speaking anyway.

“I don’t know.” He sighs, back hitting the booth. He runs his fingers through his hair and you flip through your notebook.

“First victim, Angela Price.” You swallow, “Twenty-four years old, mother of one, a little boy named Andrew.” You show him her picture. A beautiful young woman, big curly hair with mall bangs and blue eyeshadow. “She was a sex worker. Found on her back, spread eagle, drugged and strangled with her ring finger missing in February of 1989.” Another, “Second victim, Victoria Brown. Twenty-seven years old, mother of three, two girls Jessica and Michelle, and one boy Jason.” Another picture of a beautiful young woman, smiling with her kids, an Easter photo. “She was also a sex worker. Found in the same exact way, August of 1989.” And on, and on.

“Stop.” His hand lay over the pictures you’re laying before him. Okay. Okay. “So say we have a copycat.” He levels with you. “Right? But you think…”

“Fury is innocent.” You spit. “He was a good scapegoat for the police to appease the public.” He watches you reorganize the pictures you’d shown him, slipping them back into your notebook. “Whoever the Butcher is, he’s still out there. But if you’re not ready for that, then you need to go talk to Fury himself or try talking to the girls.” The girls still on the street, “I can help you.”

He sighs, his coffee grew cold. He believes her, some little part of him nagging at the back of his brain and telling him that it makes sense. The proof is all right there. It was at least a copycat. “Help me how?”

“I want this killer brought to justice,” You say, “And the girls are never going to talk to a cop, but they will talk to me.”

“Listen,” He sighs, “This is my first homicide as a detective and I appreciate your enthusiasm over this case and your concern, but I can’t in good conscience bring a civilian into an investigation.” A five-dollar bill down on the table. “Thank you for the information, I’ll keep it in mind while I explore different avenues.” How clinical, like he was giving a press conference on the news. He couldn’t believe what was coming out of your mouth. “If you’re looking for more information for your article, you know where to reach me.” Hands in his pockets he was gone.

A soft rain falling from the sky wet his head and shoulders as he reached his car, his eyes moving of their own volition back to the glass window of the diner. To you. He watched you with your head in your hands, still for a moment before pushing your hair back from your face and sitting back, rubbing your eyes and pulling your laptop back in front of you. And with the lit screen hitting your face he pulled off.

You watched his car leave, before focusing back on the screen. A new message from Wanda sitting in messenger.

GoFundMe is set up, have you talked to next of kin yet?

A quick reply, of ‘tomorrow’ and you shut the screen. Not able to deal with it anymore.

“Marie, I’ll take my check whenever you get time.” The pie boxed up and stuffed into your fridge, you lay on the bed in your studio apartment, staring at the light above the stove. The drip of the sink. The soft sound from the tv playing the evening news. Not a mention of the crime from yesterday. Because no one would care.

No one cares when a sex worker is murdered.

It’s a hazard of the job.

A hazard of the disgusting, degrading, job of a whore. But they weren’t. They were people with hopes and dreams and ideas that were crushed under the boot of people meant to protect them.

It made you so angry. Being treated like you were crazy. You knew that’s who you were to them, the police, that crazy reporter who’s trying to connect dots for a case that’s already been solved. Conspiracy theories about how there must have been someone in the force, there had to be someone in the force helping them. There had to be.

But police protect their own. And no one would believe that one of their own could have had something to do with this. But you knew, it felt like a cover up. But you didn’t know who they were trying to protect.

You just needed someone to take a chance on it. You needed someone to believe you. And you thought James Barnes would, but apparently you were wrong.

When you found the address for next of kin you realized it was familiar. The apartment complex you’d been in once before. A long time ago it feels now, but the memory was fresh. It was unsettling. But you weren’t here for you.

Sophie was a wreck. She had been shaking when she answered the door, pried open with a crying baby on her hip. “I’m here to help you.” You told her. “I run a victim relief charity.” You’d brought food. Put together by some of the others in your group. Ready to bake meals, groceries, and a check of first relief funds to help her with the burial.

“You do this for all of them?” She asked you. And you nod.

“We know how hard it is,” You try to comfort her, “Firsthand.” You helped her clean up the apartment. You helped her get the laundry together and clean out the fridge for space for the food you’d brought.

“I had to ID her body this morning.” Sophie cries. Baby Kayla toddling around and handing you blocks and various toys. Her older sister, Brielle was sitting not too far away watching cartoons. A sniffle, “I couldn’t believe it was her.” A shake of her head. “I can’t believe my baby is gone.”

How long would it be before the police didn’t care anymore? Until they were done with her? You were sure James had already talked to her. “Have they talked to you about getting custody transferred over and what to do with the girls?” This two-bedroom apartment was in Sophie’s name. Cheryl was supporting them on her income. Sophie is on disability and unable to work. The stress was clear. On top of losing her child, she had the fear of losing her grandchildren too.

She sighs, rubbing her eyes, “The detective said someone from the district attorney’s office would be by, but no one yet.” Because you’re on their time and they’re not on yours. A heavy sigh.

“Well we have a GoFundMe set up,” You rub her back, “We’ll do what we can, we also have resources for free counseling and we do meet ups once a month, there’s one in a couple of days and I know that it might be a little soon for you but we have a lot of people able to pool some resources and I know a couple people who run daycare services and might be able to help you with the legal side of this Pro-Bono.”

It’s funny how tragedy affects people. Some go on to find themselves in careers to help those who were once in their position. Some of those children left behind went into social work, became one became a lawyer, some grew up to become foster parents when they themselves used to be foster kids.

All the people you’ve met, the families left behind, you tried to help. It took years to form this organization, but you did. And you met every single person who had been left behind by those murdered. Some believed that Fury was the culprit, but the majority were in the same boat as you.

They feel like justice hadn’t been served.

“Here’s my number.” Your business card with your contact information handed over, your business card for the charity. “We meet at the rec center on Malcom on the fifteenth of each month. I know that it’s a little soon, but just think about it.”

Reusable tote in hand you step from the apartment building just in time to run into the stunning redhead from yesterday. Today her short hair was down and slightly curled. Her clothing less severe. She got dressed up to be more friendly and approachable.

“Funny running into you here.” Her voice smoky and smooth. You shrug, gesturing to the bag over your arm.

“Just dropping off some food, giving her some information about my victim’s relief aid.” The lawyer doesn’t react, a silent moment before she says,

“I hope you haven’t put any ideas into her head.” You were taken aback.

“I’m sorry?” You were sure she knew about your ‘conspiracy’; you’d seen her a couple times before talking to her yesterday just around the courthouse while you were working on other stories and cases.

“You need to be careful what you say to these women,” Her voice wasn’t betraying any emotion, “I wouldn’t directly tell them to look into those cases.” Walking by you and into the apartment building you wondered what she knew. Because if you don’t directly tell someone to investigate the Boston Butcher cases, you’re not liable for someone interfering in a police investigation. And if someone else were to interfere… you would be given more credibility.

“Hey,” You breathe, sinking into the driver’s seat of your car. “I just left Sophie Hansen’s, I’m on my way back.”

“How did it go?” You could hear the noise from the office, Sam never closed his door which you thought was equally good and bad. “How is she?” You sigh, sinking down into the seat a little bit.

“She’s a little bit of a mess,” You explain, “Understandably… you should see those little girls Sam.” Your eyes welling up, you place your hand over them. “They’re not even going to remember her.” A sniffle.

“You’re doing what you can for them,” He reasons, “There’s not much else—”

“I wish there was.” You lean back against the head rest, pulling a tissue from your pocket, sighing, “I’m gonna stop for coffee, do you want anything?”

“I told Riley that you’re coming for dinner tonight. I think you need to spend some time with your friends right now and you can’t back out because he’s at the store right now.” You laugh,

“You’re the worst.” Turning your key in the ignition he replies,

“I know, now go get my coffee and get back to work.”

…

Bucky didn’t sleep a lot last night. He spent most of it in the precinct and going over old files in the conference room. This old filing system from before everything went digital, he had to go to the records room and get the one box of information about the case. But it wasn’t making any sense.

Why would such a prolific killer not have more recorded information?

After a nap on the breakroom couch and hours reading every detail, he could he compiled his own file about the case and typed his notes.

“You alright pal?” It stunned him out of grogginess, half asleep over the manila folder on his desk. Looking up at his friend he accepted the cup of coffee from Steve’s hand. “Have you been here all night?” Bucky felt himself nod, trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes.

“I actually have to talk to you about something.” Steve takes a sip, furrowing his brow.

“Come talk to me in my office.” Steve’s office was always clean and well organized, just like everything else in his life. It made Bucky feel like he was sort of a mess. Where Steve’s hair was always perfectly combed to the side, his face clean shaven, his uniform always starched and pressed, Bucky was always sporting five o’clock shadow, bags under his eyes, and he was sure that he’d never even used an iron. He’d give it to Steve for being a military brat turned ex-military man. “What’s going on?”

Bucky shut the door behind him, slipping the file onto Steve’s desk and sitting heavily in the chair before it, taking a sip of his coffee as Steve opened the file. His brow furrowed and he looked up at his friend.

“You’re looking into the Boston Butcher?” Bucky nods,

“I think we’ve got a copycat, maybe…” He shrugs, “The MO matches perfectly and looking more into Michael Hale’s story… I’m going to keep up with it but I don’t think it was him.” Steve nods, sipping on his coffee before sighing.

“Listen, Buck.” Sitting back in his high-backed chair, “I think you should explore the Hale alibi before we jump to the conclusion that we have a copycat. It would be a very serious avenue to go down.” Steve firm and rational, “Rule out Hale first and then we can talk about a copycat, just to cover our bases.” Bucky nods, “Did you sleep at all last night?”

“I took a nap on the couch.” A shrug. Steve sighs and rubs his eyes.

“You need to take better care of yourself.” The file slid back to him over the desk, “Check out Michael Hale, get some rest. Come see me tomorrow.”

Just another nap, otherwise he wouldn’t be able to sleep that night. Groggy he woke up in the afternoon still tired, but a little more alive than he had been previously. He took a hot shower, changed into some fresh clothes and debated shaving but decided against it.

He’d be back at the precinct before the lunch hour was done.

He’d been thinking a lot about what you said to him the night before. If this guy was a copycat, then you had to expect for him to strike again. But how would they even prepare for that? Wait for another body to show up? He’s had to question people in the red-light district before. It wasn’t easy. He was sure that probably anything else would be easier. But it would need to be done anyway.

He wonders if maybe he should take you up on that offer, if it turns out to be a copycat. Maybe he answered a little hastily. He cringes at the way he’d spoken to you last, he sounded like some bureaucratic weirdo.

“Detective Barnes?” His eyes torn away from how he’d been blankly starting at his phone in the line for coffee. There you were, like a sign, holding a cardboard tray with three drinks in it. “Sorry, I just didn’t expect to run into you here and I wouldn’t have felt right not saying hello.” He understands,

“You’re fine,” He offers, “Really.” He wants to ask. His gut feeling is telling him to ask.

“Have you heard anything?” You sound hopeful, “I know it hasn’t been long, but…” He shakes his head.

“Not yet.” You nod. He should ask. “Listen, I know how I came across last night and I just want to say that if the situation plays out… the way that you’re expecting it to, I’ll be in contact.” The line moved forward and it was almost his turn. You nod, a swell in your chest seemingly from satisfaction.

“Okay, okay.” You give him a soft smile, “I’ll talk to you later then.” Confident and pleased.

“How can I help you?” The cheery barista pulled his eyes away from you, and when he turned back you were already gone.

“Americano please.”

…

A loud pounding on the door.

“Christine.” A call through the wood. The apartment’s lights were on. The TV still buzzing with a show no one was watching. More loud pounding. “Christine, I’m coming in!” The door unlocked and swung open. The man on the other side taking the state of the apartment. At first look it was a mess. There was trash strewn about and a rancid smell. As the man walked further into the apartment, he noticed the dishes in the sink and a plate on the counter. He gagged as he realized it was covered with maggots. A sick feeling in his stomach had him pulling his phone out, he continued into the living room.

On the coffee table was a discarded needle, a little foil wrapper opened with a ball of black tar. The smell growing stronger. He lifts his shirt to cover his nose. “Tina?” Hand on her bedroom door his heart began to race. The smell overpowering and turning his stomach as he pushes it open to reveal her body. Bloated with rot.

He vomits.

…

“He made you sound like a basket case.” You watch Riley glare at his husband, a laugh shared between the two of you as Sam rolls his eyes, forking more pasta into his mouth. “You need to give her more credit,” Looking at you, “You’ve come such a long way.” A sip of wine, Riley already had a lot which is why he’s being so loose lipped right now.

“Thank you, Riley.” You sip your wine, plates just about cleared and Sam was on his second serving. “I really love what you’ve done with the garden.” The night was warm and pleasant, the three of you were eating out on their patio to the light of citronella candles and soft music playing over the speakers Sam installed last year.

Riley worked from home and always claimed, “I need my environment to be beautiful for the sake of my mental health.” Which included plenty of plants and color coordinated desk supplies. He was on first name basis with the guy whose FedEx route was through his neighborhood, “Caleb loves me.” He would defend.

“When are you going to move out of that gross apartment and into something like this?” Riley asked. “He pays you enough.” You shrugged,

“It’s just me right now, I don’t think I really need much.” He sighs,

“I just don’t like you living in that neighborhood.” A defense, “I know you’re used to that area, but—”

“I’ll think about it.” To satisfy him. He smiles softly at you knowing you were just saying it to appease him, “I will.” Your phone rings and glancing down at it you see a number you don’t recognize. “Hold on.” Stepping from the table you hear Sam scold his husband for bringing up your apartment, but you can’t focus on that. “Hello?”

“It’s Barnes.” A sad tone in his voice and what he says next makes your stomach drop, “We found another body.”

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #detective!bucky barnes #detective!bucky #detective au #steve rogers #sebastian stan #chris evans #sam wilson #anthony mackie #captain america #the winter soldier #tfatws #the falcon and the winter soldier

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 4 years

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Psycho Analysis: Count Dracula

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

So, in all my time doing Psycho Analysis, there have been a few villainous characters that, while extremely obvious, have such large and daunting scopes that it seems a bit scary to think I could accurately analyze them. Characters like Disney’s Pete or Bowser come to mind. Both are obvious 11s, but where to even begin with them? And that is a similar problem I faced with the villain who is arguably the single most important foe to ever grace fiction: Count Dracula.

How on Earth is one supposed to talk about a character who has spanned so much media and has remained an enduring fixture of pop culture for over a century? The guy has been in movies, comics, books, video games, plays, cartoons, musicals, songs… and he hasn’t even been a villain in all of them! How does one talk about such a villain with such a broad, all-encompassing scope?

The obvious answer is, of course, to talk about him in a broad sense and how he has affected culture, of course! This one’s going to be a little different than usual since I’m focusing more on the concept of Dracula than one single version, so there’s a lot of Dracula’s to go over here:

Performance: Throughout the years, Dracula has had many actors take a shot at him, though I think the finest takes are courtesy of Bela Lugosi and Christopher Lee. The former is basically what cemented Dracula as a sexy, Gothic horror icon, changing the far less attractive man from the book into a seductive monster that would color numerous adaptations after. Lee’s take brings the sexy, but is also far more violent and monstrous, mostly because Hammer horror films were all about that bright red blood, so gotta have someone spill it all!

If you’re looking for more flamboyant, hammy Draculas, Richard Roxbourg of Van Helsing and Duncan Regehr of The Monster Squad have you covered, playing Dracula at his most deliciously, monstrously evil. However, the hammiest (and thus most amazing) Dracula was Michael Guinn’s take in Symphony of the Night, with the entire opening exchange between him and Richter Belmont being a testament to the joys of chewing the scenery.

More comedic takes on Dracula have popped up over the years, with the most notable ones being Adam Sandler’s lovable, fatherly take on the character in the Hotel Transylvania films and Phil LaMarr’s performance on Billy and Mandy, where he plays a ridiculous, possibly senile version of Dracula who is abrasive and hilarious in equal measure.

Basically, when it comes to Dracula, you can easily find any sort of performance to suit your needs and give you what you’re looking for.

Best Scene: Over the years, Dracula has had a great many fantastic moments under his belt, so many fantastic scenes and boss battles… but for my money, the single greatest moment Dracula has ever been in is the opening battle of Symphony of the Night. Just watch this cheesy melodrama unfold and try and disagree with me:

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Though, of course, his death in the animated series sure is a contender:

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Best Quote: From the above scene, we have “What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets!” among moany other meme-worthy bits of dialogue from Dracula.

On the subject of Castlevania, from the TV show we have Dracula at his most tragic and pitiable, especially when he delivers these fantastically tragic lines like “ It's your room... My boy... I'm- I'm killing my boy... Lisa... I'm killing our boy. We painted this room. We... made these toys. It's our boy, Lisa... your greatest gift to me... and I'm killing him. I must already be dead.” and “Your greatest gift to me... and I'm killing him." as he does battle with his son, Alucard.

Then of course, we have the legendary moment from The Monster Squad where Dracula drops any pretense and starts strangling a little girl, screaming in her face "Give me the amulet, you bitch!" It’s so deliciously, horrendously evil!

Final Thoughts & Score: It’s very strange to think of how much all of fiction owes Dracula. The original book invented a lot of traits (the lack of reflection being one) and popularized others (such as shapeshifting and weakness to garlic), but at the same time also predates a lot of things modern vampire fiction takes for granted. The Dracula of the book has no weakness to sunlight and gets younger as he drinks blood, starting as an old man; in fact, Dracula in the book is entirely lacking in the Gothic sex appeal that almost every adaptation of the character after would give him. He was also not very seductive, instead outright attacking women if he wasn’t hypnotizing them. Hell, he wasn’t even explicitly Vlad the Impaler in the books!

More than any other villain I’ve covered so far, Dracula is truly deserving of an 11/10. Even Count Orlok owes him a debt, seeing as Nosferatu was just a blatant ripoff. Hell, aside from villains from old mythology, I don’t think any villain can lay claim to the sort of scope Dracula has, having forever altered vampire fiction even as certain elements of him become lost in translation.

But what of some of his other incarnations over the years? How do they fare in terms of score? Well, I’m certainly not going to be incredibly thorough and list every Dracula ever, but here are a few I’ve encountered:

Obviously it’s unfair to give the Bela Lugosi incarnation anything less than an 11/10, mainly because this is the Dracula who pretty much inspired most other interpretations of Dracula after him. He’s suave, Gothic, attractive in that dark and mysterious way… it’s no wonder Lugosi’s Dracula became such an iconic fixture of cinema. Then we have the other classic Dracula, Christopher Lee’s take. I think he’s only a 10/10 because I feel like Lee’s tenure is a bit more overlooked and Lugosi tends to supplant him in terms of iconic status.

Castlevania as a franchise is specifically built qround defeating Dracula as the heroic Belmont clan or some adjacent vampire hunter. So you’d better hope that the big bad and master of the magical castle the game takes place in is impressive, right? Well he most certainly is; while he’s not completely fleshed out in every appearance he has some, like his iconic portrayal in Symphony of the Night, really help sell the idea this incarnation of Dracula is a rather tragic villain, though at other times in the series he seems to revel in being a monster far more than that interpretation would allow. Notably, the Castlevania show went with the more tragic approach to great effect, with Graham McTavish delivering a fantastic performance that swings from being genuinely terrifying to hauntingly emotional (just watch the scene where he breaks down upon fighting Alucard and realizing he’s killing his own son). Both game (in a broad sense) and show Dracula get a 10/10, for different reasons.

Duncan Regehr portrayed the Dracula in The Monster Squad, and it is quite obvious he’s having a hell of a time. He’s just wonderfully hammy, and he might be one of the most evil Draculas ever seeing how he called a little girl a bitch and tried to slaughter children with dynamite. This one’s a 9/10 for sure. I honestly think he’s the best take on the character, but his movie is sadly too obscure to really give him that push to being a truly iconic portrayal. He just captures the menace and charisma of Dracula so well, it’s a shame more people don’t know about him.

Van Helsing had a Dracula, played to hammy perfection by Richard Roxburgh. Say what you will about the rest of the film, but any Dracula movie that features evil bat monster Dracula fighting fallen angel werewolf Hugh Jackman in a battle to the death over Frankenstein’s atomic heart is worth at least an 8/10. For a more minor role, we have the Dracula who appeared in the blaxploitation classic Blacula. While he only appears for a bit at the start, long enough to curse an African prince with vampirism and dub him “Blacula,” this Dracula firmly cements himself as one of the most evil Draculas ever, gleefully participating in the slave trade. I believe that’s another 8/10 right there. On a related note, Blacula serves as a chief inspiration to the Billy and Mandy incarnation of Dracula, who is a cranky old black man with a big mustache and lots of sass (in fact, he’s accidentally closer to the original book’s depiction than most other Draculas). Sadly, as a more neutral chaotic comedic figure, I can’t give him a rating, but boy is he a riot.

Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf features a more comedic and zany Dracula, one who participates in some good-old-fashioned Wacky Races cheating in an attempt to keep Shaggy as a werewolf forever. He’s mostly amusing for a oneshot villain, so I’d say 7/10 is fair. Speaking of oneshot villains, Dracula also showed up in an animated straight to video movie for The Batman, where he did things such as turn Joker into a vampire and get killed by Batman. He’s probably a 7/10 as well.

And then there are all the heroic takes on Dracula, such as the version from Dracula Untold or the “overbearing but endearing father” take on the character from the Hotel Transylvania movies (though that rap Adam Sandler does at the end of the first movie is pretty heinous).

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And this is not an extensive list by any means. There are so many Draculas I haven’t watched yet, so many different takes I haven’t read the adventures of. And that, I think, is what makes Dracula such a great villain. He is a character who any writer can bend and shape to fit a plot, a villain who can serve almost any purpose and who can fit in almost any fantasy story imaginable. Dracula is incredibly versatile, and whenever he shows up in a work, things almost always get better for a bit. And keep in mind, this is a character who has been around since the year 1897, and yet he is still a household name that even people who have never read the books or seen the movies can accurately describe and recognize.

Is Count Dracula the greatest villain in all of human history? It’s debatable for sure, but I don’t think there’s any denying he’s up there considering his scope and influence and how he helped mold modern vampire fiction into what it is today. If nothing else, Dracula is still wildly influential.

#Psycho Analysis #Dracula #Count Dracula #The Monster Squad #Bram Stoker #Van Helsing #Hammer #Christopher Lee #Bela Lugosi #Adam Sandler #Hotel Transylvania

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fangirl-1523 · 4 years

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Cherry Bomb: Chap. 1

For clarification, Milven is purely platonic and events from Stranger Things 3 did not happen, such as Jim Hopper's death and the Byers and Eleven moving away.

June 14, 1985

"Roth... Roth...." the voice of Mike Wheeler said coming from the comm.

[Y/N] groaned and picked it up. "What you want, Blackbird?"

"You want to come over and play some D & D? With the rest of the party? Over." He asked.

[Y/N] [L/N] had lived next to the Wheeler family since she was five. Her family had moved there for a change of pace as it was a small town and very different from Indianapolis. She and Mike had grown up as window neighbors.

"But my elvan archer will die! It's happened every time. So much for me trying to be a female Legolas. Over."

"Then, bring your other characters. I know you created like twenty, so you can continue on playing with us for ten hours. Over." He told her.

[Y/N] could faintly hear the sound of snickers and giggles from the other end followed by the normal "Shut up!" from Mike. She sighed to herself.

"What will I be getting out of this again? Over."

"Time with the greatest people you have ever known? Over." Mike paused before adding. "We have food. Blackbird out."

"I'll be there in a minute. Roth out." [Y/N] put the comm down and left the room.

She didn't hear the endless teasing from Eleven, Max, Lucas, and Dustin. Or any of what Mike said in retaliation of their teasing and mochery. Instead, while that was going on, she hopped down the stairs to her mom. At the moment, it was just [Y/N], her mom, and her cat at the house (her parents were seperated, but they both liked the small town life of Hawkins, Indiana).

"Hey, momma, can I go over to the Wheeler's right now? Mike invited me over to play Dungeons & Dragons with the party." She asked finding her mom in the kitchen baking some deserts.

"Sure, sweetie. Just be back by six. You're father will be over here to pick you up for the weekend." Her mother, [Mother Name], replied.

It was the Friday after school let out for the summer and the first thing the party wanted to do was play Dungeons & Dragons. Of course some people (Max Mayfield) resented that notion seeing as it was summer which meant no more school and some more beach.

"Okay. Love you! Bye!" [Y/N] kissed her mom's cheek and zoomed out the door to her neighbors house.

She knocked on the door and Nancy opened the door for her. The upcoming senior at Hawkins High sighed before allowing the young girl that hadn't been involved with anything weird yet into their house. One thing the party, Jim Hopper, Joyce Byers, Nancy Wheeler, Jonathon Byers, and the Scoup Troop all agreed on was to leave the girl out of it. Out of all of it. [Y/N] went down towards Mike's basement where she found the boys setting up the pieces at the table and the girls were setting up snacks such as chips, some bite sized deserts, and soda.

"Hi, [Y/N]." Eleven said.

"Hi, El." [Y/N] said coming over to the two girls.

"[Y/N], which character are you playing?" Mike said looking through the folder labeled [Y/N]'s characters.

"Uh... actually... I wanted to try to be... a... uh..." then the girl mumbled what she wanted to do.

Max Mayfield and Eleven smirked (as they had heard what she said). Dustin Henderson asked for her to speak up, so they could hear her. All they got out of her was a smear of red across her face. Now that the boys were staring at her and her two only female friends were smirking, she instantly regretted every decision she had ever made.

"You know what? Just forget it. I'll use my elva-."

"She wants a chance as Dungeon Master, but she is too nervous to say anything to you four." Max said cutting her friend off.

[Y/N] tried to cover her face with her hands as she waited for the laughter to come right afterwards. It was a stupid idea. A stupid, silly thing to suggest she do. Way to make a fool out of you, [Y/N]. the [H/C] haired girl thought to herself before shying away from her friends.

"Since when do you know how to be Dungeon Master?" Dustin asked as he and Lucas sneakily (not that sly though) glanced over at Mike.

"It can't be that much difficult than putting on shows with action figures and dolls while my little cousins intervene about what the different characters could do." And Mike taught me.

"I say we give her a shot. I'm tired of doing the same thing ever single time." Max said.

"We don't do the same thing every time!" Lucas retorted back at his girlfriend.

"It's the same thing, but different outcomes based on the die roll." Eleven agreed.

"Just let her be dungeon master, guys. For one day. I actually want to see where she'll go with it. I'll just be a Gnome Thief." Mike told them.

"I don't have a problem with that." Will Byers added making his first statement in the conversation.

"Go on, [Y/N]." Dustin said glancing at the seat next to Mike. "You can sit there."

[Y/N] didn't see the glare Mike sent Dustin as she sat down in the seat. Eleven and Max got some food before sitting down.

"So, are we ready?" she asked them.

"Yeah. Let's see what you got." Lucas told her.

"To be clear, this is going to be totally -."

"Just start already, [Y/N]." Mike interrupted her. "Yes, we're well aware this is 'Geek Improv'."

Eleven looked from Mike to [Y/N]. As soon as she started to go to school with the party, she met [Y/N] almost as soon as she stepped into the door. And instantly, she understood why Mike hadn't been able to return her feeling. And now, watching the two of them, it reminded Eleven of why that was. Time passed and they all realized how much more involved she was with the details than Mike was and they all knew the adventure they were on was all sprouted from her mouth like bullshit. Because it was. She was making it up as she went along.

"You have reached the end of your quest. But your quest is not over. Instead, one of your party members carries a dark secret. One of them is actually the Great Darkness that vows to shrall the land in eternal night. You hear the cackle of what sounds like the Wicked Witch of the West Hehehe! As the sound bounces off the walls of the cave, you wonder where and who the sound is coming from. But it's too late. Your hear it say 'It's too late for you. Hehehehe!' And the voice is coming from-."

"[Y/N]," Karen Wheeler, Mike's and Nancy's mom, said walking down into the basement, "your mom says your dad is waiting for you. Time to go."

Karen Wheeler went back upstairs and Dustin leaned over to Mike, "Since when does your mom come down here?"

Mike simply shrugged. "Can we finish this really quickly?"

[Y/N] shook her head getting up from her seat. "Sorry. Dad's impatient as it is, and we're supposed to go to Chicago for the weekend. I'll be back Wednesday though. We can finish it then. Have a good weekend, Blackbird. Fellow geeks." She saluted them.

"Bye, Roth. Have fun with your dad." Mike said as she went back up the stairs.

"Dude!" Max exclaimed once she was out of earshot.

"What?!" Mike fired back.

"Do you two really have to act like that?" Max asked him.

"Like what?" he asked her.

"Like that! Two love sick idiots. Why don't you just ask her out?" asked Max.

"He can't."

"He's tried."

"Countless times."

"Failed countless times."

"Stuck in the friend zone, is he." Dustin said in the voice of Yoda.

"He's not that stuck. She likes him back. Right, El?" Max asked looking at her female friend for assistance.

"She does." Eleven nodded her head in agreement. "Just ask her out."

"Do it. When she comes back." Max told him.

"Jeez, okay, I will." Mike told him.

Wednesday came, and he commed [Y/N]'s radio. "Roth... Roth... Roth...."

No answer. Usually she would pick up after the second or third Rorh, but silence filled the radio. He tried again thinking her mom may have cleaned up her room while she was away (it has happened before). Silence.

"[Y/N], you there? Blackbird here ... trying to talk to you. Over." Silence.

This was weird. It was strange. Even when she was angry with him, she never metaphorically left him on read. She would radio in that she was angry and didn't want to talk and there would be a "I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU! I HATE YOU!" followed afterward that she didn't really mean. And that's when he heard shouting, yelling, and screaming from next door. It sounded like her parents.

Mike got out of his basement and along with his family and the rest of the street watched the scene play out between [Mother] and [Father] who hadn't spoken or saw one another in months.

"What do you mean you lost her? She was here yesterday! She called telling me she was back in Hawkins!" [Mother] yelled.

"I went to get food, and then she's gone! I checked everywhere for her! She's not here! And I'm pretty sure she didn't go back to Chicago! So, yeah I lost her! But I didn't lose her OKAY? She's missing! Gone! And it's not my fault! Dear god, why would you think it was my fault?" [Father] yelled back.

"It wouldn't be the first time you thought that." [Mother] mumbled before shouting, "If you didn't lose her, then help me find her! Help me find my daughter! Before something awful happens to her!"

[Y/N] was missing? Mike looked over at Nancy who was looking at him back. They both knew that the Upside Down had a part to play in the disappearance of [Y/N] [L/N].

What Netflix Original would the characters of Stranger Things watch the most often?

Eleven - Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (Eleven would compare the events of her life to Sabrina's events in her life when they are sorta similar)

Mike - Orange is the New Black (gives me Mike vibes)

Max - Sex Education (gives me Max Mayfield vibes)

Will - A Series of Unfortunate Events (i feel like he would have read the books in elementary school, so he felt obligated to watch the show)

Lucas - Lost in Space (i didn't know what to pick for Lucas, so I just picked something random)

Dustin - Voltron Legendary Defender (Dustin has always given me vibes that he's a cartoon watcher type of TV person)

Steve - Daybreak (gives me Steve vibes)

Nancy - The Worst Witch (this was an accident. Nancy didn't want to watch it, but saw the trailer, thought it was interesting, and watches it afterwards).

Robin - Disenchantment (doesn't it just scream Robin at you?)

Jonathon - You (he would have heard about it from Nancy who wanted to watch it and he got hooked)

Joyce - Santa Clarita Diet (funny zombie humor)

Hopper - The Crown (this would have started off as something that both Hopper and Eleven watched together as a sort of father-daughter show or whatever, but he got hooked really, really fast)

#stranger things #stranger things x reader #mike wheeler #mike wheeler x reader #dustin henderson #eleven #lucas sinclair #max mayfield #will byers #steve harrington #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #jim hopper #joyce byers #jonathon byers

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mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune · 3 years

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is it normal for a gem on a ‘magic wand’ to start turning a little white...?

at first I wanted to wait until later to ask about this.

tomorrow might of been best to wait.

but I had to know, I’m not even sure if others have it as well.

but it was something that was given to me by someone in my family.

I don’t think it was like that before, but I had started to notice

that it started to become a little white in some places on it.

and it has, I don’t know to describe it...a like tiny frost crystal appear in it.

is that normal...?

it’s still the normal color it was originally, but the white is still there.

but I think it more like a little white, like it’s slightly like the same color as the color of the gem, but still being almost closer to the white color.

plus I’m not sure if it’s my mind playing tricks on me,

but sometimes when I pick it up, when the lights are off,

there seems to be this faint glow, maybe it is the trick of the light.

and I’m looking at it now, and it I think since I got it, I think the gem on it is changing a little. but I’m not sure.

it’s like if you have a dark blue shirt, then all of a sudden some parts of it

turn like a off-white blue color.

I can’t help but be curious, early today, well it’s night now.

something REALLY really upset me, it was something I was watching on Youtube on the Xbox. (I still question about if that version might be better than the one that seems to end up hurting other Youtubers, even if they are one and same, it does appear there are still differences, like I’m not sure if the one that you can get on the Computer, has the setting where you can hide inappropriate content.....which once more, if kids see it, even by accident, it is the parents fault or the legal guardians or whoever is responsible in watching them. so don’t go blaming the content.)

and I don’t want to say what it was, but what someone said really upset me.

I had to skip some parts just to hear them finally talking about what they needed to say.....I didn’t want to wait, and it seem it was going to take so long to get to the point. and anyway what I had found, really upset me.

I’m not gonna say what it is, because I do not wish to.

also being someone who was just a little girl who saw a movie I wasn’t suppose to, even if I might not of remembered it very much when we had lived at the place that had those old rent videos, and I have the DVD version of that movie now.

I know that my mom shouldn’t of let me watched it.

Cool World is a great movie, but it still has themes and language in it that is not suitable for those who are NOT old enough for it yet.

no matter if you were a little kid of any bio-sex or gender identity.

and certain groups and parents will make the content their scapegoat for their ignorance, that the fault does not lay with the content.

it is those who are responsible.

if there was a app that can make it so that any mature content,

either it be a story or movie or art work, can not be seen by a child,

then it would keep everyone happy, those who create such work

wont end up hurt, and the child will be safe and wont see such mature stuff until they are the proper age.

once again, I had caught my little cousin playing my Deadpool game,

and it was only at the start of the game.

it was lucky I went in there in time and was able to stop them.

even if I wasn’t in there, and some of my family were.

they should of had some common sense to stop them.

even I knew better then to leave the Deadpool 1 and 2 Movies out too.

I couldn’t risk them seeing something that they are not ready for.

I might not be as smart as most, but I do know that letting someone who isn’t old enough to see certain Cartoon/Anime or Movie or Read something that isn’t for them.

then those who keep blaming the content need to stop being irresponsible.

a child lock app needs to be made and if you can give your child their own computer, then you can install the app so whenever they browse,

it censors and wont let them see stuff they aren’t suppose to.

it is only when they become of age, like maybe you can undo the child lock.

you can’t just undo the child lock when they are 13 and lower.

that would be irresponsible.

I don’t want anymore children to see stuff they are not ready to see.

even if the movie series Look Who’s Talking,

does have certain “birds and bees” scene, and it doesn’t really fully show...

the other stuff, and just shows the other thing...

but even if it is suppose to be a family movie,

and it is still a great movie. but it might be best that parents do cover their child’s eyes and make sure to only let them see the family friendly parts in the movie.

being exposed too early to stuff, isn’t good.

but if you have, then it gives you the knowledge that it isn’t the content to blame.

but those who are the parents, guardians, aunts, uncles and all those who are suppose to keep a eye on a child and make sure to be responsible, and make sure they don’t watch or repeat stuff on Tv.

I did say the “son of a witch” word, but it wasn’t “witch”

it appears when I first said it, I had been watching something when I was just a baby, like toddler age.

and you know babies will repeat stuff they heard, and I was a little parrot when I was still a baby.

anyway, I think it might of been a bit irresponsible to let me watch whatever it was, I don’t know what it was called, I will have to ask.

and knowing it will have certain language in it.

I was just a baby, so of course I wouldn’t of known better.

but it doesn’t mean the content should take the full blame.

mature content will always have that kind of stuff.

but it might be more important to keep children away from it, until they are the right age for it.

at least shows like Gravity Falls has stuff that goes over kid’s heads,

as well as the original Powerpuff Girls, although some fans didn’t like the reboot. but I only found some problems with it, like I believe that Blossom should only be friends with Jared.

and then there was the twerking, that was a bit much.

I had no problem with Bliss, I mean if they make a reboot of the reboot,

and make the next version look a bit like the original and place Bliss in it, then I wouldn’t mind.

but yeah the original did have a episode that had some stuff in it that went over kids heads. I should be glad that I didn’t get it until now.

but some fans of the original, couldn’t seem to understand that.

but maybe some do now.

but still, there are some stuff that can be for everyone, but there can be some that can have jokes that are very well hidden and it is meant to be that way.

but for stuff that is 100% not for children, like some cartoons, books, video games and anything else.

that is for those who are the right age for it, and the parents shouldn’t place the blame it.

they should on themselves, because it is their responsibility to keep that kind of stuff from a child until they are the proper age to see it.

there is some other stuff that I realized I was too young to be exposed to,

and it has to do with.....well “energies” that I now realized, could of been from some people in my family, as well as the teachers.

I don’t want to say what it is,but I will say that I do know now how to protect myself from energies that are not my own.

but the point still stands, the content was NEVER the problem.

it was those who are suppose to make sure the children do not see the content until they are the proper age to see it, maybe like 15 and up.

it takes not only me, but others who have been exposed that stuff too early,

and never admitted fully before, to open our eyes and hearts to the truth.

that we were never to blame, it was our parents.

even if we still love them, they still let us see things we were not ready for.

even if they kept us from the really super mature stuff, the other stuff that was still mature and gave the suggestion in it.

even I know that Deadpool Movies aren’t for little kids,

and any parent who would let their child watch it without knowing it will have really REALLY super mature stuff in it, then they will be to blame.

not the movie itself.

I still liked both the first and second movies of Deadpool.

and like I said before, I didn’t really feel anything when seeing the part with Vanessa and Wade.

well it didn’t mean I did look, but I did try to look at something else too.

I think it might be because of my flux, I did say that I am a Aceflux type.

like I said before, not all Aces are the same...

and some will be flux and have added parts to their identity.

and it might be seen as silly to some,

but I think I remembered after I got really upset after watching and listening to that person on Youtube on the Xbox.

I couldn’t help but feel I wanted the Heavenly Mother, is it weird to refer to her as “Mommy” in my head, my Mom never liked to be called that, I don’t think I will ever fully understand why.

well I can’t help but view the Almighty Divine Mother as “Earth-Heavenly Mother”

and God/The Almighty Divine Father as “Sky-Heavenly Father”

knowing some toxic-religious people, they might misuse those words on me just like that other toxic-religious person did.

even if I did try to point out how bad they were making me feel,

they kept using those words “may the lord have mercy on you”

I think they used those words by saying “lord” or “god” in it, I know it went something like that.

but still even if I did try to express how bad it made me feel,

my hurt feelings weren’t getting through.

I still believe you can’t just force someone to believe, they need to want to in both their hearts and souls.

even though I did once go to church before, I don’t think it was truly fully reaching me. like maybe only half.

plus I didn’t like it that when we did have to go, I ended up missing some cartoons....plus no matter if you go to church or not, you can still believe.

plus you shouldn’t believe certain lies that you will go to heck if you don’t.

I mean I still think it is possible that place is in the 5th Heaven, plus the realms of heaven and heck, are like in a dimension that possibly overlaps with the physical one we are in.

we can’t really fully understand or know what will be on the other side,

even if some might of seen only a bit of it when having close calls.

even most Earth Angels wouldn’t know, because Earth Angels who are still new to being Earth Angels, will still be new to everything.

even if most Earth Angels have been around for much longer than the newborn ones that most were accidentally born on earth thanks to their Earth Angel Mothers.

there was another video I saw, on Youtube.

that talked about well a balance, and how women and I think maybe those who are in touch with their feminine side, are experiencing.

I can’t remember if they did talk about those with a feminine side having experiencing it, but I think might be so.

I agree there needs to be a balance, I mean Feminine and Masculine

doesn’t always mean the biological type that makes up the human body.

it has to do with what is in all humans, no matter if they are binary or nonbinary.

I know I did read in one of the parts in the book I have, that has gems in it,

that it has this one gem that was suppose to be like a support for well, I can’t remember it all, but I can get it later and maybe try to find the chapter in it.

but I do know that the Earth-Heavenly Mother accepts someone who has a nonbinary identity and I think sexuality as well.

even if some might not believe it, I do.

but it is only my view and it’s okay that not many believe it, it wouldn’t be right to try to force it. and if someone wants to believe it, then it should be of their own free will to do so.

for many generations there has been a imbalance, leaving the Feminine side not in the full balance.

but now in these days, it seems the balance is becoming better.

I don’t think I can ever talk to my family about this kind of thing.

I can’t tell them that I have a bigender identity, which is like under the binary & nonbinary and it’s called Gyno-Agender.

I have been wondering if it might end up changing to Feminine-Nonbinary.

I mean it is possible. but I will still go by she/her.

I have to stay in the closets, like the Aroaceflux, Neo-Christian/Ma-Acolyte and Gyno-Agender Closets respectively.

even if my family love me, they might try to “fix” me to get me to be well not Ace or Neo-Christian/Ma-Acolyte and Gyno-Agender.

even if it might not end up the really bad “fixing” like most people will end up in.

and I did read before that my crying after wanting to tell my Mom that I’m a Ace type, was normal reaction.

lucky I was able to keep it a secret after asking her thoughts about Asexuality.

I only cried when I went to my bedroom.

so I was able to keep it together long enough, which is good.

this was just suppose to be to ask if it’s normal for a gem on that ‘magic wand’

to change like that, if anyone else had experience the same thing, it be nice to know.

it might be possible that that my soul name is really Small-Lilith after all.

I also want to look up just in case, that “Chibi” is different word for Small.

I mean Small is just the English version of it.

and well there are different languages that could have a different word to “small” and I’m just curious.

and well knowing that my soul name is that, and that my soul hasn’t really been around a very long time like I had thought.

like it turning out I’m just a fragment born soul.

and I rather not say the other fragment I was born from.

so yeah I have both a Soul-Mother and Soul-Father.

but to me, the Mom I have in this life, who brought me into this world.

is my Real Mother.

I wonder if animals act up at times to try to get you to go to bed...?

the other day ago, my cat was biting at me, even though I might of been feeling not all that great. so I had decided to go to bed.

I also had some thoughts that when you have a animal that lives with you,

who is called a “Pet”, wouldn’t the proper name for it be Animal Companion.

just like how most Humans are Human Companions to some Animals.

I just love my sweet little baby, sometimes I pick them up and give them a gentle hug, but not a very hard one, just a light one.

and I know to put them down when they give the signs.

I couldn’t get away with that with my first cat, for obvious reasons.

I’m going to go back to my Xbox.

I want to watch some stuff on Youtube on it,

(once again, the Xbox’s Youtube does seem better, and it does have a setting where you can hide inappropriate content, I’m not sure if the computer version has that, but I could check to see. but if it doesn’t. then I know that the other is better.)

then after that I want to play some video games.

it does appear that my spirit animal, is also my guardian angel animal.

it might be possible to have well the other type of guardian angel,

but also have the spirit animal too.

my spirit animal is a deer.

anyway I’m not really sure if anyone else has the same ‘magic wand’

or notice the changes to the gem on it.

it does seem like it does have a little change, and I just want to know if that change was normal...?

I think tomorrow, I will post one of my other Bendy drawings on here.

but I will need to color it first.

it is based on something that was seen at the very start of the game.

I mean if you been in that one room where it appears the drawing of Bendy is moving every time you look away, and when you look back he is in a different pose.

I’m not sure if everyone notice that, but maybe some fans of the game have.

I think I want to listen to the songs don’t go breaking my heart and release me,

as well as born without a heart.

and when I say “don’t go breaking my heart” I don’t mean the one that was in the end credits of that Chicken Little Movie.

it’s a different song from that.

well I also want to listen to a the metal version of Addict too.

I might not be into all metal music, but I like some, surprisingly.

anyway if by chance there is anyone who has the Merlin’s Realm Magic Wand,

and you started to notice how it seems to be changing.

it be nice to know I’m not alone in this, and I want to know if that’s normal.

anyway see ya all on June 13th, I’m going to go back to playing on my Xbox One now.

PS:

I’m still not going to try talking to anyone on it for a while,

I mean mic talk. because of my voice. I know it never really matured.

and it might not be as cute as others who go through what I do.

having a voice that never really matured.

but yeah I’m not gonna talk to anyone using the mic for a very long while.

even if I was glad at first I was finally able to, I then regretted it.

#changing colors #magic wand #is that normal

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thecleverdame · 5 years

Text

All Teeth and Bad Intentions

Pairings: Alpha!Werewolf!Sam x Omega!Werewolf!Reader

Summary: Sam gets jealous...pretty much just filth with a touch of fluff.

This is set right after The Brown Bottle, One More Time and The Morning After (read those first). They are listed in my master list.

Warnings: NSFW gif, dubcon(kinda), knotting, mating, breeding, dominance, claiming, fingering, unprotected sex, biting, dirty talk, rough sex, ownership, manhandling, jealousy, cum play

Words: 5200+

Beta: @moonlitskinwalker

Sam’s hands are everywhere, palming your ass while slender fingers pluck at hard nipples. His mouth at your neck, licking with the flat of his tongue before sucking the skin until it stings. The weight of his body relaxes on top of you as his lips seal over yours in a series of messy, open-mouth kisses that elicit a stir between your legs.

“Sam,” you manage breathlessly before he kisses you silent, his mouth harder than before. Placing both hands on his chest you gently push back, but he doesn't budge. “Hold on,” you mumble in protest. It doesn’t stop him, instead, he rolls his hips between your thighs and the head of his cock pokes the swollen lips of your sex.

It’s been seven days. Seven days of non-stop fucking and Sam doesn’t seem the slightest bit sated. You suspect his rut is coming. Claiming you set certain things into motion, so, in addition to the horniness of being newly mated, he’s also fueled by his cycle building in momentum.

He reaches between your bodies, grasping his dick to line himself up before thrusting forward, his cock sliding deep until his balls rock into your ass. He snarls, nipping at your jaw. “So fuckin’ tight.”

“Ow,” you hiss digging nails into his biceps.

That seems to be the first word that registers for him because he stills, shoved inside your pussy, lifting his head up to look down at you. He’s come to recognize a symphony of moans and whimpers that tell him what you need, but this is something he hasn’t heard before.

“What’s wrong?” His lip curls, eyes sweeping down across your breasts, and then further, sneaking a peek at his cock splitting you open. He rolls his hips, pulling out just a little before nudging deeper than before. When you respond with a pained whimper he grimaces and stops. “What is it?”

“I’m sore.” You respond, biting your lip as your cunt throbs around his manhood.

“Where?” Sam asks thoughtfully, propping himself on his forearms, shifting his weight.

“Everywhere,” you confess.

Sam looks confused but it’s only for a moment before realization washes over his face. You think he might apologize and pull out, but he doesn’t. He just looks you dead in the eyes and says “tell me where.”

Truth be told it would be easier to list the parts that don’t hurt. Your scalp is tender from Sam’s hands twisting and yanking fists of hair and your backside twinges at the thought of him spanking you again, your round little ass can’t take much more. But you have a faint idea of what’s he asking, he wants a starting point. So you give him one.

“My mouth.” You’ve sucked his cock for the better part of a week, letting him come down your throat like a porn star. “And my jaw.” He pauses to grin, giving your effort the appreciation it deserves and then kisses your lips with a feathery light touch before traveling to your jaw with just the brush of his mouth until he’s made his way from ear to ear.

He lifts his head, looking down at you. “Where else?”

“My nipples.” Sam loves to pinch and tug on your nipples as foreplay but he really loves to suck on them while he’s fucking you, biting down until you squeal and claw at his back “They’re raw.”

“I didn’t realize,” he mumbles, cupping a full breast in his hand and closing his mouth around the stiff bud. He doesn’t suck, just runs his tongue, warm and wet, back and forth with gentle precision before moving to the other.

“Alpha,” you moan, writhing. His cock is still inside you eliciting a conflicted mix of pleasure and pain as you feel the tug of his thick shaft.

“Where else?” he looks up. His lips ghosting, just fluttery pecks over the swell of your breasts.

“My hips.” Your hips are the one area he already knows about. He’s tried to be gentle. You’re sporting black and blue fingerprints around your entire waist, reminders of how hard he grabs when he’s really in the moment, fucking you like an animal.

Without so much as a sigh, he pulls his cock out of your pussy and slides down, dragging his nose over your hip bones. He kisses each bruise, slowly and deliberately, until he’s given them all equal attention.

“What about this?” Sam asks. He’s between your legs now, two fingers oh-so-tenderly slipping between the wet, puffy lip of your cunt and opening you like a flower. “Do you ache here too, Omega? My cock too much for this perfect little pussy?”

“Yes.” You wrench your eyes shut, head tipping back. He’s popped his knot inside you more times than you can count over the last week, you’re walking like an overworked jockey. He’s had you in positions you didn’t even know were physically possible, fucking hard and deep as his hips slapped into your ass.

Sam’s tongue scoops over your clit, slow at first until you’re groaning like a whore and shoving yourself into his face. He speeds up, lapping the bundle of nerves as you rock from side to side, thighs clamped around his head. You’re not even sure if he can breathe down there, but you don’t give a shit as your orgasm creeps in.

He’s gone down on you plenty of times before, but this is different. Normally he wants control, he holds you in place, keeps you pinned to the bed. forcing your legs wide. But not this time. This time you lock your ankles behind his neck, thrashing back and forth until you come like a freight train. grinding your pussy into his chin. Your empty cunt pulses around nothing, but you can almost feel him inside, like the pain of a phantom limb.

He draws out every inch of pleasure possible, swirling his tongue in broad circles around your clit until your orgasm leaves you nothing more than a pile of raw connections, twitching and grasping at his shoulders.

When your legs fall apart he stands over you and strokes his cock, jerking himself until he comes in pearly white ropes. He groans as he spurts warm seed over your breasts and stomach, then down farther to shoot the final vestiges over the mound of your pussy.

“Fuck,” he groans holding his dick, a predatory smile pulls his lips over his teeth. “You look good like this.”

“I feel like a mess,” you tease, propping yourself up on bent elbows.

“Still,” he tilts his head before climbing on the bed to lie beside you, carefully bending your leg at the knee, leaving your sex exposed. “Seems like a waste.” With two fingers he swipes across your sullied stomach, coating them in his spunk before slipping inside your sensitive pussy. He doesn't push in too far, just a couple inches, gently stroking with shallow movement.

“Baby,” you whimper, clenching your legs around his hand.

“I know, I know,” he rubs his nose into your temple. “You need a break.”

Chad’s in his early twenties. He’s as tall as Sam, built like a brick wall and definitely a newly turned Alpha. You guess he’s a couple months old and stupid as one would assume. There’s no doubt in your mind that he’s the one who’s turned all four of his buddies, two of them are also Alphas, the others Betas.

All five of them are at your bar, making a scene and acting like idiots but you don’t really mind. As long as they don’t get in a fight or piss off the regulars you let it slide.

“Look at you baby, fuck that ass looks tight.” Chad bites his finger as his friends snicker behind him. It’s clear he’s the sad little king of his own sad little world. Your turn around, smiling and setting down five shots followed by five beers.

“Your mother know you talk like that?” You sling Chad a look and crack a Miller Lite for one of your regulars, Toby, who’s sitting at the end of the bar doing his best to stay upright.

“She’d understand if she saw you.” He grins, his eyes unabashedly staring at your breasts. He notices the scar at your neck for the first time and pounds on the counter turning to his friend. “And she’s one of us! I knew you smelled special.”

“Keep your voice down.” You lean in, covering the bite with your hair as he oggles you like a turkey leg in a Wile E Coyote cartoon. “You even know what this means?”

“It means your like us,” He licks his lips. “Like me. I’ll take good care of you if you give me the chance...Omega.”

“I said, keep your damn voice down. Not everyone here is in on our little secret.” You hiss. “And I already got someone to take care of me, so why don’t you boys go buy that table of questionably dressed girls a drink and free up the bar.”

“Ouch,” he groans with his hand over his heart as if you’ve wounded him. He leans forward with his forearms on the counter, when he grins it’s all teeth. “But I like you so, so much.”

“Yeah, well if you’re staying you better tip well.”

And he does.

It’s a couple hours later when Sam, Dean and the rest of their crew barrel through the door. They take over a table at the back near the jukebox and Benny heads to the bar.

“Hey.” Benny nods.

“Hey back,” you smile. “Usual?”

“Yup.” He looks from you to Chad and friends. “You need any help?”

“They’re harmless.” You wave a hand.

“Don’t be so sure.” If Chad’s good at one thing it’s inserting himself into your conversations. “I could tear you up.”

“Hey,” you snap, slapping the counter with an open palm. “What’d I say about say about that kind of shit?”

Sam wonders if you’re pregnant yet. You casually swipe a hand across your flat belly, exchanging a smile and comment with the old drunk at the end of the bar, and all Sam can think about is what you’re going to look like when you’re swollen with his child. He can imagine your round stomach in such vivid detail it makes his balls ache.

You never leave his mind, you’re always there; mentally if not physically. It's just incomprehensible. You’re the one stable force, his one stability in a world filled with chaos that he didn’t know he needed. Two weeks ago if someone would have asked if he wanted children he would have dismissed the idea outright, but then you came along and now it’s the only thing he thinks about.

Sam’s not an unreasonable person, but he’s the pack Alpha, this is his territory and you’re his Omega, but none of that is stopping the blonde guy at the bar from coming onto to you like a back alley hooker.

There’s something about the way he’s is looking at you that’s making Sam’s blood pressure rise. It doesn’t help that he hasn’t fucked you in two days. He’s on the cusp of a rut and all he’s wanted for the last twenty hours is to pound you into the mattress. But you, understandably, needed a break, and you’re gonna to need it.

His eyes narrow as you laugh big and wide, engaging the douche-bag and making conversation. As soon as you have your back turned he’s elbowing his buddy, slapping each other like cavemen as they stare at your ass.

“Why do we even come here, man?” Dean asks, resting his elbows on the table “She’s a bartender, it’s gonna happen.”

“Fuck you.” Sam grunts, tipping back beer.

“I’m just sayin’, there’s no reason to torture yourself.” Shrugging Dean turns his attention to the scene unfolding before him.

“That anything I should be worried about or just some college kids?” Sams ask Benny as he arrives with a tray of beer.

“She says it’s fine,” he looks back at the bar.

“Human?” Sam presses.

“Nope,” Benny points his bottle toward Sam. “He’s an Alpha.”

“I got one more,” Chad bellows, vying for your attention. Despite the fact that he’s kind of a pig you are enjoying his repertoire of filthy jokes. He’s actually pretty funny. “What do the mafia and pussies have in common?”

Oh lord. “I don’t know, what?”

“One slip of the tongue and you’re in deep shit!” He finishes and half the bar is laughing right along with you.

“Alright,” you set down a rag and place both hands on the counter. “I’ve got a one for you.”

“Hit me with it.” He motions toward his chest.

“What’s the difference between your dick and a bonus check?” He shrugs and you finish “Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.”

The entire bar erupts and you take a bow. Still chuckling you glance up, suddenly aware that you have a very intent audience. It’s not that you’re doing anything wrong, but you wouldn’t know that by the way they’re looking at you from across the room you. Benny, Dean, the scary little brunette and a bunch of other guys you’ve never officially met are watching silently.

Then there’s Sam. He’s just sitting in his chair with his hand clenched around a beer, his eyes are locked on you with a scowl that drains the color from your face.

“What’s wrong sweetheart,” Chad glances back, and then reaches forward, his hand covering yours. This kid really doesn’t understand, he doesn’t even recognize a pack when he sees it. If he were a more mature Alpha wolf he’d be able to easily smell others of his kind, but newly turned wolves have fucked senses. “I’m not your only fan, huh?”

“Don’t touch me.” You hiss pulling your hand away but he holds firm. You pull back again and he yanks you forward in turn. Not aware of his own strength your ribs connect with the counter. Chad lets you go immediately, oblivious to the impending doom that’s headed in his direction because Sam was out his chair the second Chad laid his hands on you.

You dash around the bar, trying to intervene as Sam whacks him on the shoulder. “Hey, asshole.”

“Sam,” you try to slink between them, placing a hand on his chest. “He doesn’t know what he’s doing.”

Sam glares at you, it’s a frightening look you’ve seen before, but never been the on the receiving end of. “Get out of the way,” he instructs, blinking emotionlessly.

“I got a pretty good idea what I’m doing.” Chad stands up from his chair and his friends follow suit.

“Sam-” You stop as Sam’s fingers curl around your wrist.

“I’m not gonna tell you again, Omega. Get out of the way.” He’s never given you a command before, yeah, he’s bossy when he’s fucking you and you always do what he says, but he’s never spoken to you like this outside of the bedroom.

There’s a part of you that wants to tell him to fuck off, because you don’t like being ordered around like a child; but he’s your Alpha, marking his territory, and you don’t have a death wish, so you take a step back.

“Over here sweetheart,” Dean’s hands are on your shoulders, pulling you away from Sam, and slipping in front of you.

“I didn’t know she’d just do what she’s told.” Chad snickers, stepping up to Sam. They’re roughly the same size, but Sam’s in his prime and headed into a rut; he’s lethal. Not to mention he’s got a dozen other Alphas who’d die for their pack leader in the blink of an eye. Any hope of Chad getting wise and shutting up goes right out the window when he adds “I would have told her to get on her knees a while ago.”

“You hear this guy, Dean?” Sam tilts his head, his lip curling.

“I heard him.” Dean crosses his arms over his chest. “Not a smart move kid.”

“You come into my territory, touch my Omega, and then have the fucking nerve to talk to me like that?” Sam’s a breath away from Chad’s face. “She’s mine. You shouldn’t touch things that don’t belong to you.”

“What? Did you piss on her? As far as I can see she’s free to do whoever she wants.” Chad spits, looking rather proud of his comeback.

Before Sam was your Alpha, he terrified you. Sam, Dean and their merry little gang aren’t the kind of guys who do a lot of talking when it comes to disputes, they settle things the old school way with their fists. Over the past week and a half you’ve become complacent. Sam’s your mate and lover and you forgot the side of him that scared the shit out of you, until now. You don’t have a shadow of a doubt that he’ll kill Chad and he’ll do it right here in the middle of your mother’s bar.

“Sam, he doesn’t know, he’s a baby.” You try to sneak around Dean but he catches you, holding you back. “He doesn’t know the rules.”

You watch Sam process your words as he tilts his chin up, scenting the young Alpha who’s too stupid to stand down. His mouth twitches, and you think he’s going to rip Chad’s throat out but instead, he turns away, grabs you by the arm and hauls you out of the bar.

“What the fuck are you doing?” You try to twist away, but Sam’s got a vice grip on your arm dragging you through the parking lot.

“I could ask you the same thing,” he spits, walking faster as you scramble to keep up with him.

“Sam, stop” you attempt to dig your feet in and stumble, but Sam keeps you from falling.

“We’re leaving.” He snarls.

“I don’t want to go anywhere with you right now.” You protest.

“Hey buddy, maybe you should listen to her.” A guy puffing on a cigarette next to his truck steps forward. “It doesn’t look like she wants your hands on her.”

“I’ll put my hands wherever the fuck I want to. Mind your own business buddy.” Sam sneers and releases your arm taking a step toward him. Dean’s trotting toward you, ready to back Sam up. It won’t be a fair fight, this guy is nothing but a human who has no idea what’s getting himself into.

Shit.

“Okay,” you grab Sam’s arm. “Let’s go, take me home Sam. Come on.”

“You don’t just get to tell me what to do. I don’t respond to commands.” You sneer, it’s the same fight you had on the way home, just moved to the kitchen.

“I’m your Alpha,” he slaps his chest with his palm. “You’re my responsibility.”

“That doesn’t mean that I just blindly follow orders.”

“If I tell you to do something, I expect you to listen.” He counters.

“Well, good luck with that. I’ve never been very good at listening to anyone. You don’t own me.”

“What do you think that mark on your neck means? You belong to me.” He’s deadly serious.

“I don’t belong to anyone.” You know that’ll piss him, it’s why you say it.

“You know what a claimed Omega without an Alpha is? A whore. Is that what you want? To be a bar slut for the rest of your life. You’re already halfway there.”

“Fuck you!” You slap him, hard.

He stares at you, flabbergasted as his face stings red and then he grabs you by the hair, twisting a fist full of it between his fingers. Your neck arches back and you whimper, “you’re hurting me.”

He releases you immediately, hissing like you’ve burned him. “Shit, I-” he runs both his hands through his hair, breathing deep and slow. He bends down, resting his hand on his knees, still shaking with anger. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Y/N. You have to help me because I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I don’t know how to be a mate.”

“All you have to do is trust me, Sam.” You step toward him, “I’ve got three guys a night like that asshole, accidentally touching my ass and asking for my number. It was happening long before I met you and it still happens.”

“Perfect,” he shifts his jaw, standing tall.

“I would never let someone touch me, I mean really touch me. There’s this invisible line and ninety-nine percent of the time people don’t cross it. When someone does, you’re welcome to step in and beat the shit out of them, but until then you’ve got to let it go.”

“You were defending him.” Sam squints at you like you’ve betrayed him. “Why are you even worried about some asshole getting what’s coming to him?”

“I wasn’t worried about him, I was worried about you. You’re all amped up Sam, you’ve been spoiling for a fight for days. What happens if you beat that guy in the middle of the bar? What happens when you hurt him or worse, and you do it in front of a bunch of humans? I’ll tell you what, you end up in jail.” He hadn’t even thought about that, all he could see was you protecting another Alpha...but you weren’t.

“Did I hurt you?” Hesitantly he steps forward, waiting to see if you’ll let him near you. When you don’t back away he reaches out and grabs your waist.

“I’m fine,” you place your hands over his.

“I shouldn’t say those things to you,” resting his chin on your head as he pulls you into an embrace, he’s still on edge you can feel it. He’s not capable of relaxing, not yet anyway.

“I shouldn’t either,” leaning back you look up at him. “I’m sorry I slapped you.” Taking his wrist you pull his hand up to your neck, covering the scar.

“I just have all these thoughts running through my brain. A thousand different scenarios where I end up without you.” Sam pulls you to him, wrapping his arms around your shoulders.

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m here with you.”

As a general rule, Sam is dominant. Half of it’s the Alpha in him, the other half is just his personality, but tonight he relinquishes just a little of that control. He lets you fuck him.

He watches you bouncing up and down on his cock with an enthusiasm reminiscent of a strung out cheerleader.

You lean forward to kiss him, running a hand up his chest and Sam meets you halfway, trailing fingers down your arm. All of the women he’s fucked were at least a little scared of him, most of them knew who or what he was and none of them ever kissed him the way you do. He thinks he might be getting soft because fuck if he doesn’t live for the way you look at him like he’s your whole Goddamn world when you press your mouth to his. You’re not the least bit intimidated, instead, you just keep kissing him like you’re two kids making out in your parents' basement.

He’s not sure why he’s never done this before because the view is absolutely amazing. He gets to watch your mouth fall open, pussy clenching in pleasure. From this vantage point he’s got a spectacular view of your breasts jiggling and the shaft of his shiny, thick cock disappearing into your pussy. Two big hands cup each of your breasts, pushing them together. “God, I love these tits.”

Sam wonders if this is what it feels like to be in love. He doesn’t believe in sappy shit like love at first sight, but this can’t be far off. Logically, he knows it’s all hormones and base instincts, you’re his mate now and this bond is like nothing he could have previously imagined. It has to be close to whatever love is, and he thinks he might get to experience the real thing soon enough.

“So fuckin’ tight, Omega.” Sam sits up, nipping at your throat. When your pace slows he gives you proper motivation to keep moving. “Don’t stop” His hand comes down on your butt cheek with a crack and you yelp, sliding a hand around the back of his neck for leverage as you pick up speed. “Keep fucking yourself on my cock, baby...yeah, just like that. You like the way I feel inside you?”

“Yes,” you moan, finding his mouth with yours. You’re sweaty, really fuckin’ sweaty, drenched like a marathon runner as you ride him and skin slips over skin. He feels bigger than before, it’s only been two days, but having him so deep inside reminds you of just how good he makes you feel, so stretched out and unbelievable full. “I fingered myself thinking about you in the shower this morning. I’ve been thinking about you all day and then tonight...how mad you got...all I could think about was your knot.”

“Good girl,” he growls, his lips smiling into the skin of your throat. “Gonna come so deep in this pussy.”

“Jesus, fuck Sam-” He grabs a fist full of hair, snapping your neck back.

“Alpha,” he corrects you, his free hand curling around your jaw.

“Alpha.” You pant, trying to maintain the rhythm.

“You want me to fuck you?” He grits, teeth sinking into your shoulder. He yanks your head back even further so that your back is arched, leaving breasts on display right in front of his face.

“Yes.” Breath rattling in your throat you reach out, desperate for anything to hold you earthbound. Your fingers curl into the skin of his bicep, nails sinking into skin.

“Tell me.” Both his hands move to your hips, pulling you down onto his cock until the lips of your sex meet the short hair around his shaft. He doesn’t let you move, just keeps in you place stuffed full as you wiggle around searching relief.

“Sa-Alpha, please fuck me. Please, I need you.”

“Yeah?” He smirks. He moves one hand from your side to rub his thumb your clit, sliding in fast circles. You buck around as he holds you in place, working into a frenzy with his cock so deep it’s tapping your cervix when you squirm, drawing little shooting pains that mix with building pleasure. “I could make you come just like this, hold you down on my cock and rub you until you fall apart.”

“Please,” you’re begging, your voice an octave higher than normal. “Please fuck me.”

He releases his hold on you and taps your hip like he’s tapping you out of a fight. Lifting yourself off his dick you immediately roll over, pushing yourself up onto hands and knees. Both his hands curls around your side, fingers fanning out over your ribs. “Turn over, Omega. I wanna see you.”

God help him, he wants to fuck in the missionary position.

As soon as you’re on your back Sam’s settling between your legs, grabbing his own cock and pressing the swollen head into your pussy. In one thrust he’s buried to the hilt. He doesn’t waste a second before pulling out and sliding back in again, the sensitive head of his cock dragging along the clenching walls if your wonderful little cunt. “Keep your legs up,” hooking a hand under each thigh he bends your legs until your knees are pressed into his sides. He can feel the ring of muscle around the base of his dick thickening as he thrusts into you. “So good at taking my cock,” he praises, his hips make hollow smacks that echo off the walls of the bedroom as he pumps into you. He doesn’t say anything else, just listens to his own grunts, your breathy moans and the squishy, gooey sounds of sex that seem incredibly loud.

His knot swells quickly, you feel it pushing into your folds with every thrust. Grasping his ass you pull him closer, begging for release. “Please baby, I need it inside me. Need your knot Alpha.”

“You sure you can take it?” He lifts his head, a bead of sweat rolling down his nose and dropping onto your breast.

“Stop fucking teasing me and let me come.” You growl, bucking under him.

Sam gives you exactly what you’re asking for, he grinds his pelvis forward, his cock unrelenting as he forces his knot inside your pussy with a wet pop that triggers your orgasm. The pleasure is so great you want to hold it in, but there’s no holding back as the damn snaps and gluttonous satisfaction racks your entire body.

Sam keeps shoving his hips forward despite his inability to really move as he watches as your eyes rolls back in your skull and you start to shake. Your legs go stiff around him, breath starting and stopping. When you come it’s like watching someone die and come back to life.

Just as you’re calming down from the high Sam’s balls tighten and he comes with a grunt. He drops his face to your neck, teeth sinking into the ruined skin of his original bite. Rutting forward, he fucks you down into the mattress as he fills you so full of his spunk that it leaks around his knot, dripping down the crack of your ass.

“Fuck.” He groans, sucking at the fresh bite. He grinds into you once more before dropping his weight onto your hips. You’re both a mess of sweaty skin and twitching muscles and not much more.

“Ohmygod,” you whimper, clenching and unclenching your fists.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you.” He lays open mouthed kissed across your collarbone, slow and steady. Then moves down as his lips press across the curve of your breasts.

“I forgive everything you’ve ever done.” A lazy, exhausted grin spreads over your face.

Sam chuckles, his breath hot as he sucks at the hollow of your neck. This is the unexpected part of sex with Sam, the part when your bodies are trapped together and your strong, rough Alpha worships you slow and sweet, like a love-sick schoolboy. He lifts himself up, resting on his forearms and gazing down at you like Galileo when he first saw the heavens. You never see these moments coming, just a peek at the tender affection that he doesn’t even know he’s capable of until it pours out of him. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

“You think so?” He’s fucked you in every position possible. Seen parts of your body that you didn’t know could experience pleasure clench and tremble, but none of that makes you blush the way you are now.

“You should see yourself.” His eyes roam over your face, as his fingers stroke the line of your jaw. “You’re perfect. You’re mine.”

You kiss him, squeezing your legs around his hips. “I’m yours.”

Sam is your other half. The feeling is so strange; it stretches throughout your whole body. It’s overwhelming, yet makes you feel complete. It has no bound nor length nor depth; it’s just absolute.

#Alpha!Sam x Omega!Reader #alpha!sam winchester #sam winchester smut #sam winchester x reader #supernatural a/b/o

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realfuurikuuri · 4 years

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Chapters: 7/? Fandom: Mao Mao: Heroes of Pure Heart (Cartoon) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

MissingArm!AU: When escaping the cave, it wasn't his tail that got crushed. In exchange for his innocence, he gained a sordid past. The Pure Heart Valley seemed like a good place to escape. To start a new life with a new family to forge a new identity. However, when the past rears its ugly head Mao Mao's forced to step up or be put down.

AN: This chapter took a while to come out. Mostly because it's kind of long and I had to reorganize and outline it twice before actually getting into it. I had to cut two big scenes out, otherwise, the chapter would be like 20 pages, and I'm saving all of us that trouble. This chapter is definitely the most morose. I'm probably going to need to add the depression and alcoholism tags after putting this chapter up, aren't I? Let's celebrate reaching a major milestone in the series! YAY!!!!! As always follow @spookylovesboba, and enjoy the chapter.

Direct link to chapter 7 on AO3: XXXXXX

MissingArm!AU Chapter 7: In Death Life Flashes Before My Eyes

Mao Mao sat alone. Drinking and thinking. Thinking and drinking. Something about today had brought out his masochistic side. He placed his hand on one stove hot memory after the next. Some were arguably good ones. Some were practically nightmares. He was sifting through his own memories like a gold crazed idiot panning a riverbed.

However, Mao Mao was looking for anything but gold. He needed to know what went wrong.

Maybe he shouldn't have gotten with Tanya in the first place, or maybe he shouldn't have had a child in the first place. He had just turned 18, Tanya was only a year older than him. They were still kids. They were too young, too immature. An 18-year-old teenager isn’t ready for the kind of responsibility it takes to raise a child. He knew that then and he definitely knew that now… yet he did it anyway.

Why did he get with Tanya in the first place?

Mao Mao took a bottle of brandy to his lips, disappointed to find it empty as he began to remember.

* * *

It was after he had already lost his arm and began dressing in red. They were somewhere in the kingdom of Queen’s Putland. He and Tanya were active in that area for quite some time. Tanya was hurting for money and found a contract she desperately needed, but on the way, it started to rain. Instead of spending his birthday camping, Tanya led him to a shady pub hidden in the trunk of a tree. It wasn’t the kind of place he'd like to spend his 18th birthday, but the kind gesture did make him blush.

Despite being hidden the place was buzzing with activity. Every seat at the tables was filled and a sea of people surrounded that. Someone sat down as soon as another got up. Strangers talked freely like everyone was a friend. It was strange. He didn’t know people could be this friendly. Tanya dragged him out of his thoughts, pulling him to the empty stools at the bar.

“Whaddya want,” the Bartender Baboon asked.

“Gimme a vodka buck and- ,” Tanya turned to her side,” Mao Mao what are you getting?”

“What do they have to eat?”

“Its’ no fun to drink on a full stomach.”

“I’m not thirsty, I’m hungry. I don’t even like the taste of alcohol.”

Tanya rolled her eyes before her eyes lit up with an idea. “And virgin will have hard cider.”

“Hey!”

“And wings,” she added.

“I was objecting to the virgin part,” he said.

“If you don’t like being called a virgin, well… I can help you with that.”

“What,” Mao Mao rebuffed,” no, what’re you-, that’s just-, no.”

Tanya just laughed at Mao Mao, pinching his rosy, red cheeks. “You’re adorable, virgin.”

The bar baboon came back with the drinks and wings. Tanya didn’t hesitate to start drinking; Mao Mao pulled the plate of wings of closer.

“For the love of god don’t eat wings with your gloves on,” Tanya said.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” he snarked back.

“You’re so weird about your gloves,” she said.

“They’re just gloves.”

“That you never take off.”

“I do take them off.”

“Oh yeah? When?”

“When I get in the shower. When I take a bath-”

“You only take them off when you need to get nakey, is that right?”

“Well, I guess…”

“Does that include sex? Or do you wear them during that too?”

“Well... I mean I guess I’d take them off for canoodling.”

Tanya looked at him, stunned, almost confused before the corners of her mouth turned up in a smile. “Oh my god you call it canoodling,” she said in between laughs.

“It’s not funny!”

“Oh don’t worry, Virgin. It was… cute. Calm down and get drunk with me.”

Mao Mao grumbled and took a sip of the cider. It wasn’t as bad as he thought it’d be. The cider was thick and tasted of autumn apples, instead of alcohol. Although, he could still feel it burn the back of his throat.

The bar baboon had watched all of that take place with some interest. “Did your parents really name you Virgin,” he asked.

“...They had a habit of screwing me over,” Mao Mao said. He didn’t like lying, but what he said wasn’t exactly a lie.

Mao Mao and the bartender continued to talk, eventually, Tanya joined in too. It was odd. Maybe it was the jovial atmosphere of the pub, maybe it was the alcohol, but the walls people put up just broke down. There was no such thing as oversharing. He, Tanya, and the bartender just became part of the crowd. Before he knew it Mao Mao had counted 4 pints of cider. He learned that the Bartender came from a small family and that he was bartending as a way to get money. He hoped to become a musician later. Despite learning all that about him Mao Mao never actually got to ask him his name.

He could have kept talking, but Tanya had already hit her limit on booze. The glass of water was proof that it was time to leave. Where did he put his wallet? He stopped searching when Tanya placed what little money she had left to cover the bill.

“You didn’t have to do that,” he said.

“Come on it's your birthday. I can’t get you a cake, so at least let me treat you. Happy Birthday, Virgin.”

That simple gesture made something click into place in Mao Mao’s head. H liked Tany; he cared for her too. He just wasn't sure if she cared for him. That gesture proved she did. Mao Mao blinked a few tears out of his eyes, struggling to process the well of emotions.

“You alright, Virgin?”

Mao Mao didn't say anything. He leaned over and gave Tanya a small kiss on the cheek.

The bartender let out a long whistle.

A slow smile formed across her face and she let out a small bark of laughter. “What was that? I could’ve sworn you thought PDA was illegal.”

Mao Mao fiddled with his tail between his fingers. “We… never really celebrated my birthday back home. Thank you for… caring about me.”

“Hey, Mao Mao,” Tanya spoke up,” do you wanna make more of this?”

“Sure.”

Tanya picked Mao Mao up by the arm and pulled him to the bathroom in the back of the pub. She stopped calling him virgin after that. Once she saw him without gloves she gave him a new nickname: Mittens.

* * *

And that’s how Jǐngtì was made. Needless to say, it wasn’t how he imagined his first time would be. It wasn’t romantic. It wasn’t started under the ever blossoms, or started with some grand and fancy gestures. Instead, it was done in the bathroom of a bar that almost definitely didn’t have an alcohol license. He didn’t think it’d be the start of anything. It was supposed to be a one-time thing. They were supposed to stay friends, maybe friends with benefits, not parents.

Jǐngtì...

Mao Mao let out a slight huff in amazement. It's not a thing he should say, but Jǐngtì shouldn’t exist. He wasn’t being mean it was just how biology worked. Mao Mao’s a cat. Tanya’s a tanuki. Their species weren’t even apart of the same phylum or genus. They shouldn’t even be able to have a kid by scientific standards, but Tanya wasn’t scientific. The OB-GYN said it was due to Tanya’s magical nature that the pregnancy was even possible. Her magic was more than skin deep. It was the incredible magic stored in every cell that made the pregnancy possible, even then, the odds of pregnancy were less than 10/1. He only exists due to magic.

Mao Mao never liked magic.

Badgerclops didn’t like magic tricks; Mao Mao didn’t magic tricks either, but genuine magic was something he disliked far more. Magic could be unwieldy at best and a monkey’s paw at worst. At first, he thought Jǐngtì leaned towards being the former, but he was very much the latter. The child did permanently tie Tanya and him together, but it was also the reason they’d permanently split apart.

The reason he and Tanya split apart was an “irreconcilable difference” as marriage counselors would like to call it. Ignoring the fact that they never got married, It wasn’t anything so disgustingly formal, just two people realizing that they’d never see eye to eye, and it was best to split apart. There was no yelling; only mutual understanding. It was an adult’s hell.

Mao Mao rolled away empty cans of beer down the empty hall as the memories came back to him.

* * *

Mao Mao waited in the lobby of an abandoned hotel. It reeked of mildew and mold. The boards had more than rotted through. He sat in an old lounge chair filled with holes and leaking cotton, waiting for Tanya to get back. He bided his time by chewing his claws off, wincing in pain when he went too far. Patience was never his virtue.

Get back from where?

Jǐngtì’s preliminary hearing.

The child had taken the worst qualities of both parents. Tanyas tendency to overlook laws, and Mao Mao’s incessant need to go above and beyond. From the way Jǐngtì told it, he was looking to make quick cash, and instead of asking his parents or even doing something kind of shady, he turned his eyes to glittering jewels and gold on the monarchs’ crown. Even Jǐngtì’s half-baked magic would be more than enough to succeed at his heist. He should have known something was up when Jǐngtì started hurrying them out of the city. Perhaps he should have listened to his child… too late for any of that now. Justice had already caught up and was doing its thing.

He shifted his head up when he heard thumping on the floor above him, following the sound who leaped down the broken staircase to the lobby. She dusted cobwebs out of her fur, muttering something so fast Mao Mao couldn’t understand. He watched her pace in large circles around the lobby.

He waited for the small gap when she took a breath to ask his first question. “How did the hearing go?”

“Did you hear anything I said?”

“You muttered.”

Tanya pinched the bridge of her nose. “Jǐngtì clearly lost.”

“Well, yeah. He admitted it to us, and there's a written confession.”

“Are you trying to help or make feel like shit?”

He placed a hand on Tanya’s shoulder,” I know the penal code requires bail be set before the final trial.”

She brushed his hand off,” the bail doesn’t matter.”

“Why? What’s wrong with the bail?”

“It’s 300-million fucking dollars.”

Now the way Tanya was acting made sense. He pursed his lips and began to think. What to do? What to do? $300,000,000 was more than a king’s ransom. He was sure it was worth more than some countries. He’d say they were probably overreacting, but it was probably low-balling the price of the crown. That was more money than he even considered bringing with him when he left home.

Home… His family certainly had that kind of money to throw around.

No. Mao Mao pushed the thought from his mind. He’ll make the compulsory visits for the holidays, but he’ll be the last to arrive and the first to leave. He wasn’t going to ask for their help. He hated them. He wasn’t going to explain his new family to them. Not Tanya, and certainly not Jǐngtì. This was not the Mao clan’s problem. He’d become a hero and make his legend without them.

He had hoped that bail would give him an out. Unfortunately, his hopes were pointless. He had something to tell Tanya. He hoped he wouldn’t, but...what else is there to do?

“What are we going to do? What are we going to do?” Tanya asked herself, pacing around the room again. “What are we going to do?”

“Should we even do anything,” he asked.

Tanya stopped, slowly turning to face Mao Mao. “What?”

“I don’t think there is much we can -should- do,” he clarified.

“Explain.”

“Well… Jǐngtì did steal the crown. Putland has every right to be mad and prosecute-”

“So, we’re supposed to let them do whatever they want with him?”

“I know the penal code. He’s too young to be executed and besides they couldn’t do an execution until after the crown was found. We would still be able to visit him in jail-”

“Stop!” Tanya snapped before softening,” Mittens, just stop.”

Mao Mao waited while Tanya put her face in her hands before looking up. “I’m going to need you to make a choice. Are you siding with Putland, or Jǐngtì. Do you care more about your principals or your son?”

“What? How can you ask that?”

“I’m going to need your answer.”

Mao Mao hesitated. “A hero… can’t ignore the law.”

“Then,” she pointed to the two of them,” isn’t going to work. We aren’t going to work.”

Her voice was flat and stern. Something she used on her bounty’s not him.

“Tanya...” he was about to reach out, but couldn't bring himself to.

“I wish you well or whatever. I have things to do,” he said, looking him in the eye,” goodbye Mao Mao.”

She hadn’t called him Mao Mao in years. He was still numb when he packed his things and left. All he could think about was how much he needed a drink.

* * *

Mao Mao writhed on the kitchen floor. He felt sad for himself. He regretted his actions. He was angry at the world. The torrent, swirl, and monsoon of emotion threatened to tear him apart. He could feel it all mixing up inside of him with a scorching intensity.

He needed a drink.

He felt around the bottles and cans surrounding him. All empty. Mao Mao turned his attention upwards, toward where the alcohol was shelved. He climbed onto the counter, reaching into the depths. He gripped the last bottle by the neck. He tried to pull back but tripped over his own feet. Instead of trying to break the fall he hit the floor, holding his saving grace up and out of harm's way.

He crawled his way to the living room. He climbed onto the couch to take a breath. The saving grace in his hands was an emerald green bottle of saké: Japanese rice wine. It was a gift he got from Papa a while back. How disgustingly vapid. He didn’t like alcohol, and he certainly didn’t like his father.

Mao Mao uncorked the bottle and began to drink. It reeked painfully flowers that poorly covered the burning in the back of his throat. It hurt. Everything hurt. How’d he get here? How’d he become such a mess? He was a stupid disgusting mess. Full of mistakes. Full of regrets. He sacrificed everything else to try and become a hero, only to have that last thing run away from him too. He only tried to do what’s right. He was supposed to be building a legend, becoming a hero worth remembering, worth loving.

It was all his fault.

“I wish there was someone else to do it,” he slurred, “I was I didn't have to do any of this. I wish there was someone else to try and be justice. I wish that there was someone out there to be fighting evil! I don’t want to be the one always trying to do what's right!”

He finished screaming and felt nothing, but embarrassment. “What am I doing? Yelling at nobody, but still... I’d give my heart and soul for that.”

Mao Mao lied down on the couch, barely able to stomach alcohol, and stomach himself even less. Eventually, he blacked out.

* * *

Badgerclops sat in Camille's tower. Adorabat was sleeping in his lap. He wanted to be sleeping too, but worry kept him awake.

Mao Mao laid on a bed in the center of the room. IV-tubes went in and out of his arms and he was wearing an oxygen mask. Camille and Honey worked quickly, concocting potion after potion, doing something magical. He’d be impressed if he wasn’t so tired. He needed sleep. Worry was the only thing keeping him awake. He watched Mao Mao for any signs of movement, any signs of life.

When Mao Mao opened his eyes, Badgerclops jumped to his feet, startling Adorabat awake.

“Are you alright,” he asked, realizing the answer to that was a pretty obvious no.

“Where- Where am I,” he asked, stumbling through every word.

“Camille's tower, man. We came back. You weren’t breathing. Adorabat was really scared.”

“Oh...I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, just… why? What were you thinking?”

“I was just… thinking it’d be nice to be loved, for once.”

“I love you, Mao Mao.”

Mao Mao stopped and looked at Adorabat. He stopped to process what she said before sniffling. He tried to blink the tears out of his eyes, but it didn’t work. He threw his arm around Adorabat, tears falling down his face. “Thank you,” he said, over and over again. He had never seen Mao Mao cry before. It was a steady, light, and quiet stream. Badgerclops joined the group hug, scooping them up in his arms. It was a warm and soft hug that all three of them were slow to break.

------

AN: While angst is fun, its time to delve into lighter tones as we enter the next arc. How long will the happiness last? ...well I can't spoil that now can I? Next Chapters Tile: What I Missed Be sure to leave a Kudos if you enjoyed, feedback is always appreciated and bookmark to stay updated with the series.

#fanfic #Missingarm!AU #This chapter is kind of sad #I enjoyed it though #Mao Mao #Badgerclops #Adorabat #Jingti #Tanya Keys #TanyaMao #CW: depsression #CW: alcoholism

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laylainalaska · 4 years

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Torchwood 1x01-1x08

Since I’ve been posting Torchwood rewatch episode reactions over on DW, I may as well post them here too!

Cut with a readmore because long and also spoilery. No specific S2 spoilers except set off in its own section.

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1x01: Everything Changes, aka Torchwood is the worst-kept secret in the greater Cardiff metropolitan area. The episode with the infamous date rape via alien aphrodisiac. I have made the deliberate choice to compartmentalize this/pretend it never happened due to TV writers being notoriously terrible with recognizing the real-world implications of fantasy aphrodisiacs and sex magic (there was just a scene like this in The Witcher in 20-fucking-20), and treat it as what it is clearly supposed to be in context -- unethical but basically harmless misuse of an alien artifact -- instead of what it really is. But I recognize that this is a personal choice and I also hate this writing decision and wish they'd picked literally any other way of making this particular point, for the record. Anyway ... the rest of this episode other than the fucking date rape was a lot of fun, though. Torchwood is the worst secret quasi-governmental agency at being secret. THE ACTUAL WORST. I love the team trying to keep straight faces and then giggling when Gwen enters their secret base, and the entire base set is just so fantastically bonkers; I really really love it a lot. There's literally a fountain in the middle of it and, like, random water everywhere?! And a pterodactyl. And the invisible lift, with Gwen's wry comment about how there's nothing to stop random pedestrians from falling down it. It's possibly the most utterly bonkers secret spy base outside of kids' cartoons and I love it. 1x02: Day One, aka Murder By Orgasm. In which the show classes things up with an alien who kills people (men only!) via orgasm. Choices were definitely made in this episode. Many choices. For sure. Owen continues to be a total sleaze because the writers think it's funny. Also, his survival when the sex alien targets him makes absolutely no sense at all. He's literally the only person she left alive, and she's in the throes of sex-energy withdrawal at the time. In short, this was an episode that happened. There were a few cute team bits but really not enough to redeem it. 1x03: Ghost Machine, aka Burn Gorman Is Very Pretty. Not that I am biased. He is so pretty in this episode. SO PRETTY. Also, for a refreshing change, Owen manages not to be creepy and sexist at all in this episode. He's just prickly and kind of sweet. I like this Owen. I want to keep him. This episode overall was really a lot of fun, aside from (or perhaps also including) the most unintentionally hilarious death of a redshirt ever, in which he goes to hug Gwen and she accidentally stabs him with the knife she's holding. But overall it's so great! The Owen arc was my favorite - I love how affected he is by the memory device (the scene where he's clearly having a panic attack and trying to keep control!) and how determined he is to get justice for the murdered girl, only to be essentially brought down by his basic decent nature and inability to kill an old man in cold blood. Owen trying to save the guy's life when he was holding a knife on him thirty seconds earlier breaks me a little bit. Lots of fun team scenes in this one, too. The Splott conversation! ("Estate agents call it Sploe.") 1x04: Cyberwoman, aka CYBERBIKINI! Here again, Choices Were Made, most of them by the costuming department with a side of deeply uncomfortable racial implications on the part of whoever cast the episode. To be fair, maybe they just couldn't afford enough tinfoil to cover CyberLisa entirely, since the budget for this episode was clearly three shoestrings and a potato. I don't know if my favorite part of the low-budget f/x is the way they're clearly splicing in Doctor Who clips for the cyberization process, or the fall of Torchwood One, a giant battle involving hundreds of participants that is represented by Ianto screaming while surrounded by plastic sheeting. Honestly, I really love this episode. It is not good by any stretch of the imagination, but there is something incredibly charming about its sheer commitment to utter batshittery and OTT sobbing over emotional team betrayals, and parts of it were incredibly tense. It has the general feel of a horror film shot by college theater majors. Also someone getting doused in barbecue sauce and fed to a pterodactyl is literally a plot point, and the team basketball game at the beginning is one of my favorite little team moments; it's so cute. Cyberbikini aside and with expectations properly lowered, this was terrific fun. 1x05: Small Worlds, aka Death By Hanahaki Disease. On the whole this episode was not terrible nor was it memorably unpleasant; it was just kind of there. In going back to write about the episodes, I really had trouble remembering what even happened in this one. The concept is really interesting, but the fairies stopped being nearly so creepy once you actually see them in all their low-budget-CGI glory; I think the episode would actually have been better if they'd stayed invisible. The flower petal deaths were really gross. I hadn't realized that, while Gwen (unlike the rest of his team) knows that Jack can die and come back, she didn't actually know before this episode that he's much older than he looks. 1x06: Countrycide, aka Don't Split The Party. WELSH MURDER VILLAGE. I loved this episode. This is the ridonkulous teamy sci-fi horror shenanigans that I'm here for. I mean, I was there with bells on for TEAM CAMPING TRIP and then it just got better and better. Ianto gets to go out in the field for the first time and nearly gets eaten by cannibals! Poor Ianto. His life is the worst. I sort of vaguely knew because of season two that there was Owen/Gwen in the first season, but what really caught me off guard is how much I enjoyed it. I was expecting meaningless sex with a side of skeeve, and I do really hate that she's cheating on her boyfriend and how pushy about it Owen is at first, not to mention outing their kiss to the whole team. But the crazy thing about it is, by the midpoint of the episode they're actually, genuinely very sweet, and by the end of the episode you can see what they're both getting out of the relationship and get the feeling that it's a positive human connection for both of them. Also, the near-kiss and teamwork in the woods was incredibly hot. I really loved (and was also surprised by) how loyal and protective Owen is toward his teammates. We saw it a little bit in the previous episode with his "Don't you touch her!" re: Gwen, but it's abundantly on display here, from Owen repeatedly insisting that they need to go after Tosh and Ianto, to his fury at the guy threatening Tosh, to his captor having to restrain him when they pull the hood off Ianto's head near the end. Love Jack's big-damn-hero entrance to the Murder House, and everyone running around screaming and getting separated and hurt, which is always a good time. Basically I just loved this episode. It needed more hurt/comforty aftermath, though. I might have to write some. 1x07: Greeks Bearing Gifts, aka Tosh Has An Alien Girlfriend. I really loved this episode, on the whole, but it is Made Of Ouch. As well as Tosh's isolation and hurt, there's also that bit where she hears Ianto's thoughts and it's just endless painpainpainpain. I like to think that after this episode, she started getting together with him for drinks occasionally and talking about things. They both need friends so badly. (I do not love Jack's random transphobic comment near the end. From JACK of all people. WHY.) And seeing Tosh's delight and squee when she gets to just geek out about things is so lovely. Tosh is absolutely a person who leaves her teammates notes with little hearts on them. I love her. ♥ (Also, as much as I love Owen personally, I really wish that so much of Tosh's storyline didn't revolve around her hopeless crush on Owen. Toshiko deserved better, in all ways, than what this show gave her.) It's too bad that Gwen and Owen's affair is, on the whole, a rather destructive thing, because they're really happy! They're like the only happy people in Torchwood at this point. It's not a grand love story or anything, but I felt like the sheer joy of that initial rush of infatuation was well conveyed and sweet. Owen's relationship with Tosh in season one is completely baffling to me. He's not only staggeringly oblivious to Tosh being into him, but she's literally the only woman at Torchwood that he doesn't hit on. And yet, it's not that he doesn't like her! He clearly does like her in a friend kind of way and enjoys hanging out with her. The card that Mary was looking at in Tosh's apartment looked handmade to me, so he literally made her a handmade birthday card! And yet, he is blindingly oblivious to her interest and rejects her every time she makes overtures. ... I mean, the meta-reason is probably just that the writers thought it would be funny if the character who always sleeps around doesn't notice the one person who really wants him. But I can't help wondering if the basic issue is that Owen has somehow, without really intending to, classified his relationship with her as basically a sibling-type one. We know from the flashbacks in season two that they both joined Torchwood at about the same time and were both in a very emotionally fragile place when they did, and Jack also has a very quasi-parental sort of vibe with both of them. It makes me wonder if Owen either tried to initiate something early on and was rebuffed because Tosh wasn't really coping well either, or if he met her at a point in his life when he was really not interested in having relationships with anyone and simply classified her mentally in a sort of little-sister category. This actually does fit very well with the sometimes bullying, sometimes playful and sweet, generally sexless way that he relates to her this season, and the way that he clearly does care about her and in fact is very protective at times; he just doesn't view her as a target of romantic interest. Anyway, Tosh was very beautiful this episode, and her alien girlfriend was also quite hot, and I really enjoyed it. 1x08: They Keep Killing Suzie, aka I don't think anything I could come up with is better than the actual title. The scene in which they've accidentally locked themselves in their secret underground base and have to call the cops to let them out is possibly my favorite scene in this entire show. That was GOLD. I also wish the cop lady from this episode had come back. She was great, and her rapport with Jack was really neat. Part of what I want to say about this episode contains massive season two spoilers, so that's set off in a spoiler section at the end. This was a highly entertaining episode with a plot that was total nonsense that falls apart within 0.2 seconds of actually thinking about it. Good emotional stuff, yes! Plot? BONKERS. I mean, Suzie's plan was something like this: 1. Drive someone insane by feeding them Retcon for two years. 2. Kill yourself. 3. ???? 4. Profit! I am just going to headcanon that the team are actually wrong about Suzie planning all of this, and it's mostly an accidental set of circumstances that she took advantage of. I did love the twist of Suzie wanting a deathbed reunion with her dad not because of love, but because she wanted to watch him die because he's terrible. (However, this does completely undermine what was previously given as part of her motivation for getting addicted to the glove, which was trying to save her dad. See above re: plot nonsense.) But the team stuff was fun! Love everyone scrambling to save Gwen, and Owen holding her at the end -- I'm still seeing them through a lens of mostly-platonic more than romantic. The general vibe with the team pulling together vs. Suzie having basically no one in Torchwood to talk to is really interesting; it's hard to say how much of that is the team having gotten closer over the course of the season, and how much of it is just Suzie not really ever bonding with her co-workers the way they bonded with each other. I mean, I do get more of a co-workery vibe off them early on, as opposed to the chosen-family feeling later on, but the closeness is there under the surface; I'm just not really sure if they've realized it yet. But with Suzie, it's hard to say if the closeness ever really was there. They're all damaged in their various ways, but I feel like Suzie might be damaged in a way that simply precluded her ever really being able to let people in, as the others are learning to. Ianto's visible depression at this point in the show is mostly down to Gareth David-Lloyd's acting, but it's so well done -- his flat affect and thousand-yard stare, especially contrasted against his dry, sarcastic humor when he's not miserable (mostly in season two). The other Ianto-related thing I noticed is that the warmer, more bantery rapport between Ianto and Owen in season two is actually present in this episode to some extent, for perhaps the first time ever. In particular, Owen makes him smile at one point by teasing him (the only time Ianto smiles in the last few episodes, I think, up until he's with Jack at the very end), and offers him the first shot at naming the knife in spite of Ianto's artifact names being genuinely terrible - like, trying to include him a little bit, in a way I haven't seen Owen doing with him before. There's a general feeling throughout this episode that Owen has warmed up to him a bit and is actually reaching out a little. And Ianto and Jack are sleeping together now! I don't know when that happened and I wish we'd seen more of the beginnings of it. It's nice to see Ianto smile, though. Season two 1x08-related spoilers:

Watching this episode after having seen Owen's resurrection glove arc in season two was FASCINATING, especially for the compare/contrast of the way the team reacted to resurrected!Suzie vs. resurrected!Owen; I mean, the fact that she died in the process of betraying them after becoming a serial killer is obviously a large factor here, and they were somewhat wary of Owen too, but there's just so much more ambivalence in how they deal with Suzie, vs. the way that Owen's death and resurrection actually brought the team closer together, and brought Owen closer to all of them.

But the most interesting contrast to me is how Owen and Suzie, as characters, both reacted to the whole idea of having to survive by killing people, with Jack trying (unsuccessfully) to argue Suzie out of allowing Gwen to die, whereas Owen's immediate reaction to finding out that his survival might be killing people (just random people too, not teammates) was to try to sacrifice himself, not just once but multiple times, starting with a fundamentally horrible euthanasia-type death and continuing on to destroy the resurrection glove himself even though it was likely to re-kill him. Why yes, I can turn any episode discussion into an Owen discussion, even an episode he wasn't especially prominent in.

#torchwood #owen harper #ianto jones #toshiko sato #jack harkness #gwen cooper #torchwood episode reactions

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popculturebuffet · 4 years

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Scooby Doo (2002) Review: The Most Punchable Fred Jones of All Time

It’s one last hurrah for Halloween as I take a look at the often derided 2002 Scooby Doo Movie! See what happens when you combine future superstar director James Gunn with .. the guy who thought directing the Smurf’s movie and Big’s Mama’s House were good ideas. Oh and with a splash of the guy who wrote the loveable family film Cheaper by the Dozen and the utterly loathed Percy Jackson film. It’s as messy as you’d expect with that.. but is it BAD? good, so bad it’s good, just sorta okay? Come with me as I try to find out under the cut with a full review.

I’ve always loved Scooby Doo. I grew up with the guy, watching reruns of the non-scrappy classic series from Where Are You to the Scooby Doo Movies, the three Superstar 10 movies (Boo Brothers, Ghoul School and Reluctant Werewolf), or the at the time brand new What’s New Scooby Doo. And later in life i’d absolutely adore Mystery Incorporated.. minus the whole Shaggy, Scooby Velma love triangle, but i’ll likely cover that at some point or sooner, you can comission reviews from me for 5 bucks each, 5 dollars off group orders if you really want to make me suffer through that that bad. But getting off self promotion point is I loved and still love the franchise. While I”ve yet to see “Scooby Doo and Guess Who”, though given there’s Weird Al, Kristan Schaal and Urkel episodes you can be sure i’m going to eventually, and Scoob was VERY ehhh even if Dick Dastardly was awesome. But despite my history with the great dane much like with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, despite my rich history with the franchise I haven’t dove in yet and with a friend who could use a nice halloween suprise and loves scooby doo, I figured now was the time to take a look at it. And since i’d been wanting to take a look at it again anyway, and decided going big wasn’t a bad way to start, i’m taking a look at the 2002 Scooby Doo movie. I saw this flim first run in a drive in, and saw the sequel the same way and loved it as a kid, and fondly remember checking out the Sountrack Preview page back before youtube existed to make checking out soundtracks easier. It was a simplier time. And even rewatching it later with my nieces, I found myself liking it. And the thing was almost every time this film comes up it’s with a turned up nose. The CGI, the confused audience, the deciding to cast Freddy Prinze Junior.. all terrible decisions that overshadow the film, when it’s not that bad. It’s not GREAT, but it’s not TERRIBLE either. So what is it then? Well i’ll tells ya. Let’s start with

PRODUCTION: Wait James Gunn Wrote This?

At the turn of the millneium Scooby Doo was back on top. After waning popularity during the Scrappy era, the advent of the warner affilated Cartoon Network meant a whole new generation of kids (raises hand) got to experince Scooby Doo for the first time. This new audeince lead to Scooby Doo on Zombie Island, the first of the franchises 80 or so DTV movies that will continue on long after the earth dies, and brought back the franchise after it’s long slumber. Scooby Doo went from dead to as popular as he was in his hey day again. Naturally Warner wanted to cash in and thus this movie was born. Originally the film was supposed to be a more adult project, a send up of the franchise with more sex jokes and what not than made the final cut according to writer James Gunn. Yes, the same James Gunn who wrote and directed the Guardians of the Galaxy movie and whose currently saving the suicide squad. It was one of Gunn’s earlier films but just from when he’s talked about it, you can tell he genuinely cared about the project. Along for the ride with our future Guardian was his co-writer, Craig Titely, who i’m convinced only came in to do punch ups as the guy has only written three other movies. One of them was being one of MANY writers on Cheaper by the Dozen and thus likely not doing much of note with that, and the other.. is being the only writer on Percy Jackson: The Lightning Thief’s movie adaptation.. aka the movie the fanbase and general audiences rejected in droves yet SOMEHOW got a sequel. Which is somehow still worse than his other film, one that asks “was the moon landing a hoax?” Spoilers, it wasn’t. Point is this isn’t a resume that screams co creator and more screams “Guy brought in to kid freindly this up”. More on that in a minute. The director is another less than reassuring face: Raja Gosnell, whose credits BEFORE this film were Home Alone 3, Never Been Kissed and Big Momma’s house.. so already he dosen’t have the best track record but somehow got worse because AFTER this film and it’s sequel he directed both live action Smurfs Movies and the universally hated Show Dogs, aka the film that thought dog rape was funny. The fact this film isn’t out and out terrible is a miracle.

Even more so because naturally, as Studios tend to do they interfered: The film was supposed to be more adult, cracking jokes about common things fans of the series growing up thought like Velma is Gay or Shaggy’s a stoner, and having both be fully true. But wanting to appeal to kids, Warner gradually lightned it, hence Craig, and Raja clearly having no shame gladly took it instead of you know.. standing his ground. So Velma has a love intrest thrown in and her kiss with Daphne is gone, while Shaggy’s toke smoking was lowered to subtext.. because either of those things is bad apparently? I dunno the 2000′s were fucked.

Point is THAT’S why these films are so tonally confused and why I don’t hold it agains the film now I know: It wasn’t James Gunn or even, as dumb as he is, Raja Gosnell’s fault that the film had some tones clashing when the studio was demanding it, instead of you know, thinking this through at all and realizing more kids cared about Scooby Doo than they would’ve josie and the pussy cats instead of bringing it up DURING production, when most of the adult stuff was in there. It’s also why the sequel has no real adult stuff, though it’s STILL damn good, but i’ll get to that some other day.

The film was also shot at an actual theme park in australia. Neat.

So yeah the film’s humor kind of ping pongs between knowing adult winks and kids stuff. We get Scooby dressing like a grandma in the same film shaggy enhales his demon possed love intrests breath like weed. The jokes themselves on average are pretty good: Some of my faviorites include the grandma scene, everything rowan atkinson does, Velma getting drunk off her ass, and the instructional video bit which is easily my favorite bit of the episode and one of my faviorite scooby doo jokes period:

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This is even FUNNIER to me on rewatch, as we now know this is an instructional video for demons.. and that Scrappy clearly had enough problems with his demon horde to have to pay for this thing. It tis glorious. However there also are also a few that HAVE NOT aged well, are very creepy at best and disgusting sexual assault at worst with Daphne getting her ass grabbed by the Luna Ghost at the start being treated as a joke and Fred oggling Daphne’s body when he’s in it being treated as a ha ha and not...

So yeah the humor’s USUALLY good, but the slipups are noticable and do bring things down a bit when they come by. So the humor is decent if mixed and the production’s a nightmare, how’s the plot? The Plot: Scoob, We’re Getting the Band Back Together!

I won’t be as through as usual because this is a 90 minute movie, I’m running behind as is and it’s 20 years old,

We start with your standard mystery inc case with the Luna Goose, aka Old Man Incel who resented Pamela Anderson for not boning him. But Fred hogging the glory during the resulting News Cast leads the gang to start fighting over lingering tensions: Velma is tired of Fred hogging all the credit when she does most of the legwork solving things, Daphne is tired of being kidnapped and being mistreated by Velma and Freddy who laugh at the idea of her doing more, and Fred..

We’ll get to him later. Shaggy is the only one wanting to stick together, but no one’s having it and the group breaks apart and Matthew LIllard REALLY sells Shaggy’s heartbreak over his friends all abandoning him well.

Two years later though, with Shaggy and Scooby naturally getting stoned and eating large quantities of food on the beach, have made peace with retirement, and have apparently had to duck tons of people coming to them to solve mysteries since they aren’t about that. The latest in that line is a man representing Emile Mondovarius, the owner of Spooky Island, a vast island resort and theme park. Naturally since it has spooky in the name the boys want nothing but Mondovarius does what honestly every previous guy coming to them should’ve done: offers them an all you can eat buffet. Since they’ve done more traumatizing for Dog Treats, they agree and it soon turns out the entire gang was invited, though none of them but Shaggy and Scooby are happy to see each other. I will say one of my complaints about the film is it never tackles the emotions behind the breakup: while the teams slowly repairs there are never any outright apologizes or scenes of them recociling or scenes of Shaggy chewing them out for abandoning him due to their spat. It just skips over the emotional bits to either wave a joke for the kiddies around or scream

Really the jokes aren’t bad, the film just has trouble with actual emotion or depth that could’ve been there and tries for it once in a while, but dosen’t really do anything with it. The gang splitting up’s a good concept, and at this point on Scooby Doo on Zombie Island had really used it, and that was one where they were clearly still close friends and were still in touch they just quit mystery solving for a while till Zombie Island happened. Mystery Incorpreated would finally give this story justice later: Instead of over a petty ego squabble, the gang broke up over underlying tensions: The revelations about Fred’s dad caused him to go try and find himself, Velma alienated herself by hiding things from them, and Shaggy was shipped off to Military School and Scooby doggy prison camp... thankfully the last two didn’t last and Scooby rescued Shaggy with a tank but the tension DIDN’T go away: While the gang mostly reunited, Velma took time to forgive them and also tried bringing in the friend/girlfriend she’d made in the meantime only for her friends to isolate her and throw her out while Daphne took her time to return due to being hurt by fred. It’s complex and good stuff versus here where it’s just “WE’RE APART BECAUSE WE HATES EACH OTHER. And now we’re NOT”. It’s just a waste of a good concept and i’ m glad the franchise got around to doing it right.

But my gripes aside our heroes head to the resort and meet Mondevarious, who admits outright to having tricked then and with confronted with the gang being broken up, makes it clear he knews. “That’s the thing about broken things.. you can put them back together.”

And so he did. He needs the Gang’s help as he’s worried about the island and something going wrong there: The teens are leaving polite, well behaved. and clearly not themselves as one reacts to an old friend by neck lifting him and tossing him aside. Something’s deeply wrong here and the gang’s intrest is piqued enough to stay though everyone but Shaggy is determined to solve it themselves out of ego. Mondvarius is played by Rowan Atkinson and while I watched the bean movie as a kid this is where I fell in love with the guy, with later watches of Blackadder confirming that in my college years. Rowan just brings a fun dorky energy to the character and a nice earnestness too but when he later takes a turn for the bad, he does that well too. Atkinson is HIGHLY underated in my opinon and easily the MVP of this film’s supporting cast. So the investigation begins, and we get our supsects: The first we met on the plane, Mary Jane, a kind blonde played by Isla Fisher who got the job becasue Gosnel, in a rare good decision, saw how talented she was and while still picking Sara Michele Gellar for Daphne, made sure she had a part. She’s a nice sweet girl who Shaggy falls for and Scooby’s annoyed by it.. though unlike earlier the film beats mystery inc easily here as it’s a more understandable conflict and dosen’t act like Dog Issues is a thing people says. Again i’ll get to that clusterfuck of an arc some day. The other two are N’Goo Tuna, a shady worker at the park who spouts off the legends of the island. In a nice twist, he’s NOT the vilian, as is obvious but is his right hand man. He also has his own right hand and muscle in Zarkos a cool looking Luchador and N’Goo’s muscle. Also N’Goo may be one of the worst names in Scooby Doo History, and that includes Dabba Doo. But the legend claims the island was once owned by demons who want revenge since the resort took the island from him.

The other is probably my faviorite non Rowan Atkinson character, Voodoo Maestro, played by Miguel Nunez. He’s basically just a guy who lives on the fringes of the island and also hates the resort and tries using voodoo curses. He’s honestly a delight from his attempt to sacrifice a chicken (An already dead one at that), to his general hammy and annoyed at dealing with these teenagers demeanor. NAturally he has nothing to do with this but he’s still a fun addition and I wish he was in more scnenes than the two he gets. But with what they’ve gathered the gang all end up at a spooky castle attraction, with Scooby and Shaggy of course being bribed by daphne while Velma and Fred show up indpeendntly and end up finding the weird training video from earlier but all get caught when the traps are activiated> There’s also a farting contest which.. eh not funny to me but i’ve seen so much worse i’m not even remotely upset. But then the traps trigger though during the chaos Fred and Velma are forced to work together and finally start doing so, and Daphne finds a clue: A mysterious pyramid known as the damon righus and finally gets some, if not nearly enough, credit. So the gang is back together.. even if it’s a tenative peace, the high from solving this and relay to their boss the suspects, including him, though Fred assures Mondovarius it’s just because he’s spooky and rowan’s character’s delight over that is fucking glorious. So the gang enjoys some down time at the local bar, with Fred and Daphne doing their own look ins, Scooby and Shaggy eating and encountring mary again and Velma getting hit on by a dude while looking over the ritus, revealing it’s some sort of soul sucking aparatus, and going into their history... which is really just an excuse to bring Scrappy in who in this universe, is a horny egotistical little shit whose abandoned as a result. ANd before anyone boos he’s not a puppy here, he’s got.. dog dwarfisim.. which while .. how does that even work... means he’s a grown ass man and deserved this. We also get drunk velma and Linda Caredenlli is a delight

The night gets interupted by terrible cgi monsters, the aformentioned emon who soul suck most of the college kids present and also get fred and velma who both find out these are very much real. We also get the best song on the soundtrack, man with a hex. It slaps. But it makes good chase music as with Mondvarious, Fred and Velma captured, the rest of the gang and mary escape. The next morning we get a surreal as hell scene as everyone’s partying, Fred’s talking in slang and Velma with clevage, thank you, is chatting up.. Sugar Ray? For those younger of you they were a band at the time. They were a big thing. Not half bad but faded away. They looked as 2000′s as hell though. WHy Smash Mouth gets all the memes and not them is beyond me. Look at lead singer Mark McGrath!It’s like the early 2000′s gained sentience and took a human form. But the gang is quickly forced to run from sugar ray, though they get Daphne in a deleted scene. Why it was deleted I dunno. Point is Shaggy, Scooby and Mary are all alone.. oh and Mary’s possessed. Shaggy and Scooby argue over it because Shaggy just thinks Scooby is jealous and while he is .. why would he lie about this? He’s as cowardly as you are. But Scooby falls through the floor, and Shaggy is now going solo but luckily finds his friends souls, and eveyrone elses in a massive cool looking vat and frees them all. Velma, when the demon leaves her and confronts her, finds out sunlight kills the demons and saves Daphne from hers... only to find Fred in her body. Daphne is naturally horrified and we do get a great bodyswapping scene.

Our heroes reconvince on the beach where htey find the Maestro who explains what’s going on to a point, with the gang’s clues filling in the blanks: The ritus, which they stole back earlier, is used for a ritual that will allow the Demons to rule over the earth for “a thousand years of darkness” but it requires a pure soul to work. Cue our big bad talking Scooby into being their willing sacrifice since Scooby dooes not understand what a sacrifice is. Shaggy naturally rallies the group to go save him after their understandably worried since they usually dealt with weirdos in costumes and not the apocalypse.. well okay Velma and Fred aren’t, Daphne dealt with this kind of thing once a week back in Sunnydale. So they set up a plan to destroy all the demons at once by unleashing the soul bath, setting them all loose and then using a spooky disco ball from one of the attractions rigged up over the ritual area to shine the light in. It’s classic scooby doo.

Things naturally go wrong as while Shaggy goes to rescue scooby and makes up with him, he’s caught, so are fred and velma and they have to scramble, while Daphne looses a fight with the luchador up top while trying to let the light in to finish the trap. Meanwhile Shaggy saves Scooby’s soul just as Mondovarious sucks it out by shoving the guy.. revealing him to be a robot! DUN DUN DUN. And inside is Scrappy.. which you all probably knew already but try to act suprise who wanted to conquer the world as revenge for the gang abandoning him and because again, in this universe he’s kind of an asshole. He absorbs the souls gathered so far and merges with the damon ritus, because we’re operating on video game rules now apparently, so final boss time. But we get a great climax as Scrappy chases scooby, Daphne goes buffy on Zarkos ass , and as a result he shatters the glass and lets the light in releasing the disco ball the kill the demons.. man I love that I get to type things like that. Scooby removes the ritus and defeats his nephew and the day is saved. Velma hooks up with random guy, Daphne and Fred get together, I die inside a little and Shaggy and Mary Jane bond. At the press Fred does his good deed for the movie by letting Velma explain things and get the spotlight and the group have firmly reunited. THE END. Overall it’s a solid plot, that works well, comes together in the end and was well put together, it’s more the filling that causes it to tilt back and forth a bit, but overlal outside of the issue I mentioned it’s a good scooby doo plot. While some have pointed out it is similar to zombie island, a case reuniting the gang, the person who brought them there wanting to sacrifice them, or just scooby here, monsters being real, it works because everything else is so different. But since there’s more to break down and it’s easier to give it it’s own section let’s look at...

THE CHARACTERS: NOT HALF BAD, FRED CAN GO FUCK HIMSELF.

So we’re down to character.. and since there’s a blonde, preeening, selfish, arrogant, sleazy, sexist, obnoxious, loud mouthed, useless elephant in the room, let’s start with Fred. And to quote it’s always sunny....

Yeah so that fury of a thousand crashing waves (Cracks Knuckles): Fred is the worst part of this movie, the worst version of the character across the entire franchise that i’ve seen with the sincre doubt that there is ANY version worse than this. Everything I said above is true and THEN some. He is one of the most unlikable characters i’ve seen in a film that wasn’t INTENDED to be. There’s just NOTHING to like about him. Nothing. He treats his “Friends” like garbage, all four of them: He basically ignores shaggy and scooby at best and treats them as if they were nothing. For Velma he’s your classic power abusing douche who pushes her to the side and often steals the credit for things she did. He’s still a good mystery solver, but he acts like he does all the work to the press and takes all the credit when Velma works as hard as he does if not harder. And worst of all is Daphne, who he basically either treats like some moron who gets kidnapped due to incompetence and not because creepy old dudes want to feel her up, which given the intro is VERY likely the reason she’s the resident victim of the group, and not like a person, or like a pair of boobs and legs he wants to bang or feel up creepily while he’s in her body. For fuck’s sake his reaction to finding out he’s in her body is a creepy and smug “I can see myself naaaakeddd” If that dosen’t make you want to smack him get off my blog. And they get together in the end!

Who who wanted that. I genuinely want the presumibly original ending where Daphne and Velma hook up and Fred falls off a pier and is never seen again. The acting does not help. While the other four gang members are expertly cast Fred was given to Freddy Prinze Junior, who made a career out of playing arrogant dicks who are somehow the main character so I can’t fault the casting but I can fault that he can’t delver any line without that smug air of trying to be cool douche and it’s at it’s worst with Fred since Fred’s already written as the biggest creepiest douche in the world and Freddy somehow makes it WORSE. He also has zero chemstiry with Daphne, which would be weird given he and Sarah Michelle Gellar had dated for 2 years at this point and as of this writing have been together for 20 overall and have two wonderful kids together... but given how badly written Fred is here, I can’t blame either of them. And i’m sure FPJ is a swell guy, loves his kids loves his wife seems like a really plesant guy, nothing against him as a person, but at least at this point in his career he wasn’t very good. And I am actually planning on trying to seek out one of his later works in his career to see if he’s gotten better in recent years, and willing to give him the benifit of a doubt that he probably has. I just don’t like him here, and while the script does most of the work he only makes it worse.And works before this (Pup Named Scooby Doo) and after this (Mystery Incorperated) would prove you can give fred a personality that’s not dick tip, so fuck this character, fuck the writing.. and I hope Freddy is having a happy halloween with his loving wife and children, seriously I meant it I have nothing against him as a person. A terrible actor can still be a WONDERFUL guy.

Now that’s thankfully put to bed, let’s pivot over to Shaggy, whose easily the best of the cast. Matthew Lillard looks the part pefectly, has the right combination of heart and goofus and has some great comedic timing. Granted Scream had already proven the guy’s got genuine talent, but still he’s great here and is currently playing Shaggy in most films and productions, except Scoob which.. was far from it’s only mistake but easily the biggest. There’s not much else to say: the guy IS Shaggy and is the only person whose taken up the roll to equal Kasey Casem in it. As for how he’s written.. he’s basically the same and apart from one line of him wanting to leave everyone to their deaths, which feels like it was added later, he’s written really well and is easily the most likeable of the group.

Scooby is alright. Not the best version but funny and charming enough when he needs to be and while I hated the CGI at one point.. it’s honestly not that bad. It’s not GREAT, but time has actually been very good to it both in how it’s held up and in the fact we’ve gotten SO MUCH WORSE with so much better techlogies. I mean.. Cats exists.. Marmaduke Exists.. the Bill Murray Garfield exists. This was offputting at the time but now it’s just okay. But character wise he’s good and again not much diffrent.

Velma is the second best casting of the movie. Played by Linda Cardenelli, who i’ve harbored a crush on for a good few decades now and admire mostly for her talent and charm, Linda kills the roll and easily slips into it as easily as Matt did, and while not picking it up full time like he did, still did it a few times afterword and played hot dog water in mystery incorperated, so she did finally get to play a Lesbian Velma it just took a while. And while Velma being gay is kind of sterotyping, it would’ve been nice to have been kept in instead of edited out for bullshit reasons. But overal her character is decent: While she ALSO bullies and belittles daphne like fred, unlike fred it comes less from just being a douche and more from insecurity. As her scene at the bar makes clear she feels undervalued like the other, like the nerd who the cool kids LET hang out with them instead of part of the team. While it dosen’t make her treatment of Daphne OKAY, it makes Velma understandable. We also get Velma Clevage which.. okay not sure if the world needed that but whatever. Point is it’s throughly likeable portryal that I wish got some character growth. Finally out of the main 5 there’s Daphne, whose alright. Not as good as the other two, as it feels they lean a bit too heavily on her having taken self defense and wanting ot be tougher, but Sarah Michelle Gellar gives her a ton of charm and likeablity that her husband’s character sadly lacks. There’s just a fun, adorable energy to daph that ends up coupling with her buffy style badassery at the end and Sarah plays both beautifully. The script didn’t give her a ton to work with, though that’s the same for all four of htem, but Sarah really made the character work and made her somewhat memorable despite not being as good as Linda or Matthew. Basically not the best, but still a comfortable third ahead of scooby doo and jackass jones.

As for the rest of the cast, Rowan Attkinson i’ve covered and is utterly fantastic as is the Voodoo Maestro, and both should get hteir own hbo max spinoff together. The minons.. stupid name and luchadoor are decent enough, nothign special but they have presence and do the job of goon well. And Mary Jane is alright.. the joke is WAY too on the nose to be funny and she’s mostly just there to be sweet, but she’s harmless. Not good but not bad. So finally we have our big bad, Scrappy. And i’m.. mixed about this. On one hand, Scott Innes, who it turns out is also from Missouri good on you dude!, does a terrific job and I couldn’t tell it wasn’t don messick as Scrappy and he plays him as evil great. On the other.. it’s just kinda goofy. Out of all the tips of hte hat to scooby stuff this feels the most over the top. Scrappy was hated, including by james gunn.. so he’s the bad guy. It’s just a bit on the nose, and the twist is pretty easily teligraphed since Scrappy suspciously is mentioned in one scene so him showing up at all is pretty easy to see coming. It’s not terible but it’s not great. His demon minons also just suck.. the designs are wonky and their cgi, unlike scooby and scrappy’s, is just REALLY bad and dated, and even as a kid I never liked them.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Scooby Doo is a decent but messy movie. The clashing tones, dated humor and godawful version of fred drag it down at times, and it’s very clear this had a lot of hands in the pot. But.. I still enjoy it. It’s not the best scooby ever, tha’ts mystery incorpeated, but it has great atmosphere, some good ideas, an utterly spectacular with one exception cast, and some really funny jokes. I genuinely feel the film is overhated when it’s a unique, weird and wonderful slice of Scooby. For better or worse there’s no other Scooby doo property quite like it, and that’s what makes it so fun. And it has enough good performances and jokes to smooth out the edges. It’s not the best, it’s a mess.. but sometimes a mess is fun and I like this flim for being a fun mess I can enjoy with my nieces and talk about to all of you. And sometimes that’s all you need. Thank you for reading this. If you like this you can comission your own review: 5 bucks for a tv episode, 15 for a movie, 10 for an hour long special, and 5 dollars off when you order more than one episode of a show at a time. Just send me a direct message or ask on here and we’ll get started. Until then you can check out my backlog of reviews, check this space every monday for ducktales reviews, and VOTE DAMMIT VOTE. Until we meet again it’s been a pleasure. Play us out Atomic Fireballs, it’s been a wonderful halloween.

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#scooby doo #james gunn #shaggy rogers #fred jones #velma dinkely #daphne blake #rowan atkinson #sarah michelle gellar #freddy prinze jr #linda cardellini #matthew lillard

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strongheartmaid · 5 years

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Tale as old as time [teaser section]

AN: well, not so much as a teaser as part of the “we’re finally in Greece after spending an ungodly amount of time in southern England trying to figure our next step (that and unpacking who’s who and who’s dating who)” plot. Very much in progress as I’m constantly adding or reworking sections because I’m fussy with my writing. And yes, there is a reference to a particular Disney cartoon involving hockey-playing ducks. (Because, I like murdering canon like that)

“Everyone in one piece?" Lise called out to the girls as they finally found themselves in Sanctuary. The travel there had been brutal - Hera's Cosmos had altered it just enough that it had been sheer torture just trying to get in. Various calls of confirmation settled her nerves, but only just managed to do so. She still had to fight down the queasy, uneasy feeling of the wrongness that had settled into this holy place. (It was currently making Death Queen Island feel like a charming little vacation spot - of course, she planned on *never* saying that within Ikki's presence. That was something that would have the others wondering if she had a bit of a death wish). Alala glanced about before spying what she thought was a Saint in the distance, her eyes narrowing ever so slightly. "So, think Hera's been watching Isle of Lost Souls again?" she asked, turning her gaze to Ciri, a look of something swimming in their depths as she thought about what she would love to do to Hera. "Isle of.." Ciri started, her voice trailing off as she tried to recall why that movie title sounded so damn familiar. She promptly shot a stink eye at Alala once she recalled the movie in question - not one of her favorites. "Really? And if you must name the movie, it was Island of Lost Souls, Alala." "Are we really discussing horror classics from the nineteen thirties right now?" Eira asked as she peered around, trying to find something to get her bearings so she could go find the Temple of the Golden Ram. (And here she groaned - she really hated the cutesy names the temples of the Golden Saints had. What was wrong with just a simple "Temple of Aries" or "Temple of Virgo"? But no, Athena had to have titles like "Temple of the Virgin" and "Temple of the Golden Crab".) "I'll take the old horror classics over the more modern blood, sex and gore trite crap," Ciri answered. "I'll take horror tropes for two hundred, Alex," she teased Lise, knowing the other's fondness for that particular trivia show - and she knew enough not to even try to play against her when they were watching it. If Lise knew the category, she'd answer every question on the board. "This trope is commonly used by the cast to their complete detriment because bad things tend to happen to the heroes when they do this," Lise said absently, trying to send a pulse of her Cosmos to alert her lover, her soulmate to her being there. "What is splitting up?" Ciri asked, earning a slight but strained chuckle from the rest of the girls. "Please tell me you really aren't suggesting that we do just that," Rhosyn opined. She paused a moment when she saw Ciri's face and let out wearied and fully exasperated sigh at that. "You are," she said as she pinched the bridge of her nose, a pained expression crossing her features. Why was she getting the feeling that this was going to be a bad move to end all bad moves? "Quickest way to find the boys," Ciri said. "Send a pulse of Cosmos out to let us know once you found them," she continued. "Sounds like a viable plan." "A viable plan would be sticking together because we have no idea what the temperament of the Saints would be right now," Althaia countered, trying to act as a voice of reason - even if she knew she probably wouldn't be entirely successful at doing so. "I mean, for pity's sake, Shiryū's probably a dragon if Hera used their Cloths as the basis for her curse. Which means some of them are probably generic beasties because they don't have a specified animal, like Saga and Kanon for example." "Actually," Lise said, slanting her gaze towards Althaia, a thoughtful expression crossing her features, "because Kanon did a stint as the Sea Dragon Mariner, and since Saga is the Golden Saint of Gemini, ergo twins, so it's possible that it impacted the curse in such a way so that both twins are probably cursed to be sea dragons. But, this is just a guess, mind you." "Okay," Ciri said, holding up her hand in the shape of a t, capturing everyone's attention. "Before we go much further, let's try and figure out what we're looking at. If we go with the aforementioned theory that the curse pulls on their Cloths, that means Hyōga's a swan, Mū's a ram, Saga and Kanon are probably sea dragons if we go with Persephone's theory, Aphrodite's a fish and titans know what the curse has done to Shun." She slanted a Look at Eira. "Don't you even dare to start humming any music from Swan Lake." Eira just smiled, her pale emerald eyes twinkling with sheer mischief. "Nope, I was going to hum the theme from that one Disney cartoon Hyōga got me hooked on." Ciri gave her a flat stare as she quickly recalled which cartoon that had been. "Those were *ducks*," she said slowly, not quite believing that she was even having this particular conversation. "Ducks, Eira, quack quack, not honk." "Anthropomorphic alien ducks that played hockey and fought alien lizards," Eira said, chuckling. "Oh, to have been a fly on that wall during the pitch for that series." "Getting back on track," Lise said, crossing her arms over her chest, glancing between the small group. "As much as I hate the idea of splitting up to look for the boys, Ciri did raise a good point. We can cover more ground if we split up. There's six of us and twelve temples, that means we cover two temples a piece." She took a small steadying breath. "All right, Eira, you'll take the temples for Aries and Taurus. Rhosyn, you'll take the temples for Pisces and Aquarius. Althaia, you'll take the temples for Sagittarius and Capricorn. Alala, you'll take the temples for Gemini and Cancer. Ciri, you'll take the temples for Libra and Scorpio. I'll take the temples for Leo and Virgo. Sound good?" The girls silently looked amongst each other and as one nodded. "Good luck and Godspeed," Lise said as she began the slow trek to where the temple of the Holy Lion or whatever the hell of a fancy title Athena gave it was - after this, she was never going to complain about her husband's realm again, at least that didn't require her to climb a gods be damned mountain! Leo came before Virgo in the zodiac so she was hopefully bound to run into the Gold saint, Aiolia, first. A minor wince crossed her features as she realized that meant he was probably half lion and half man due to the nature of Hera's curse. Well, hopefully more man than lion but her luck was never that good.. Of course, she just had to jinx herself as a raging cosmos was fast approaching. She barely had time to call on her sacred cloth in defense before it was upon her. She raised her staff in a defensive pose, barely keeping the being from landing on her before it leapt backwards, landing in a crouch, looking all the world to be getting ready to pounce again. She took a steadying breath, keeping her staff grasped tightly in her hands, her knuckles turning bone-white with the strength of her grip. She swallowed harshly as she studied the being before her - both lion and man in some unholy mixture. Well, at least she had found one of Athena's eighty-eight Saints, or rather one found her in this case. "Leo Aiolia," she said, her voice calm and steady despite herself, "stand down." The beast cocked his head as he stared at her before he slowly settled down. "You're not Hera," he said, his voice rough, raspy. "I'm not sure if I should be insulted at being thought of as my aunt," Lise muttered under her breath. "No, not Hera. Lise DeAvaon," she said, "or Persephone. I'll answer to either." She shrugged slightly, her eyes watching him to see what he would do next. She sent a small pulse of Cosmos to Ciri, alerting her to the fact that she found one of the Saints but not to come just yet. She needed more information before she'd drag the other girls to her location. "You came by yourself?" Aiolia asked, tilting his head in the other direction. "No, I'm not that insane to think I could handle however many Saints that have been afflicted by Hera's curse on my own. There's five others with me," she said, giving a small huff. "Which others?" Aiolia asked, still studying her - unused to seeing Athena's sister in her Holy Cloth, or rather, unused to seeing Athena's sister period. It was rare that she ever ventured into public like this, preferring to operate behind the scenes - which was probably one reason that Shun (or Hades, whichever, it was still hard to wrap his brain around that little fact - some year, he was going to have to have Mu sit down and explain it to him in terms that he could clearly understand) adored her. "Oh for the love of grandmother Rhea," she groaned softly. "My older sister Artemis, Rhosyn, Eira, Alala and Althaia." Aiolia gave her the flattest look he could manage given his new facial structure. "Eira. You brought Eira with you." "Well, she is Mū's girlfriend, which is something we still wonder how the bloody hell happened," Lise answered with a mild shrug. "And she's bonded so she felt his Cosmos change so you really think she wouldn't be coming?" Aiolia just stared at her. "Woman," he began slowly. "Think about her sense of humor for a moment. Now, look at me. Need I say anything else." Lise blinked a moment, her mind running over what he just said and what she knew about Eira. "Oh no," she groaned, burying her face in her hands. "I am so, so sorry, Aiolia." He reached over and patted her head. "I'm surprised she hasn't already started with the jokes." "Well.." Lise said, her voice trailing off for a moment. "She did threaten to hum the theme to the Mighty Ducks cartoon." "The what?" Aiolia blinked, confusion in his gaze. "You never watched Disney cartoons?" Lise answered, arching an eyebrow ever so slightly. Aiolia blinked a moment, trying to wrap his brain around what Lise was getting at and immediately groaned when he remembered catching an episode when he was visiting Hyōga during one of the rare quiet moments before another Holy War would begin. "Hyōga's a fucking swan. He go honk not quack." "Wow, that is frighteningly similar to what Arty said," Lise said, amusement lacing her words. Aiolia cast his gaze heavenward. "Lovely," he said. "So, moving on. The girls all right?" he asked, tensing a moment as he felt something approach. "As all right as one can get when your bonded one is currently appearing to be a petting zoo person," Lise answered, her pale gaze drifting about, trying to figure out where the new pulse of Cosmos was coming from. "I make no promises of not swatting at Eira if she makes one Lion King joke," Aiolia said, stepping slightly in front of Lise in an attempt to protect the young goddess from the impending threat - he couldn't quite get a good read on the Cosmos with his condition fouling things up. "What about Kimba, the white lion then?" she asked innocently, batting pale blue eyes. "We do not talk about Kimba," he snarked. He let out a minor relieved sigh when he saw who it was. "Well hello, lunch," he said, his voice full of innocent teasing. Aphrodite merely raised one hand and then one finger in response to the teasing. He peered around Aiolia to spot the young goddess that was being hidden behind him. "That's not Athena." "Her younger sister, which you should have remembered," Lise huffed, sticking her tongue out at the Pisces saint. "I only helped hook you up with Rhosyn. She's here by the way." Aphrodite was grateful that his changed appearance meant she couldn't tell how badly he paled at that pronouncement. "Here? As in here in Greece or as in she's actually in Sanctuary?" "Well, she's supposed to be checking out whatever fancy name 'Thena gave the temples of Pieces and Aquarius," she said, shrugging slightly. "And I know, I know, I already got lectured from Aiolia about bringing Eira with me." Aphrodite felt his left eye twitch. "That woman is a menace to one's sanity." "That woman's dating Mū, and she's worried about him." "I still want to know how the hell that happened," Aphrodite muttered. He had always thought Mū was married to his job as both Gold Saint to Athena and as the Cloth Blacksmith - but well, that theory had been all shot to hell when he accidentally (well, maybe not so accidentally - he had planned on dragging Mū with him and the others to lunch) entered Mū's temple and found him with Eira. There was not enough alcohol in the world to have dealt with those scarring mental images. "You and just about everyone else," Lise said, idly shrugging. "But that's neither here nor there at the moment." Aphrodite's expression softened as best it could and he made his way over, placing a hand on the young mortal goddess's shoulder. "Truth now, how you holding up?" he asked gently, concern welling up for the young woman. Lise swallowed harshly, the tears finally streaking down her cheeks as she finally broke - something she hadn't been allowing herself to do because she knew she had to be strong for the others. "Barely." Aiolia glanced at Aphrodite and the two shared a silent conversation, ending with Aiolia nodding and sending a small burst of his Cosmos towards where he knew a particular Bronze was hiding.

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tessatechaitea · 5 years

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Wonder Twins #6

Every comic book series needs one cover where the bad guy becomes over-sized to crush Earth in their hands.

Looking at Zan and Jayna here, I just realized I could wind up in my sister's body. Gross. Please stop The Great Scramble!

I'm not saying my sister's body is gross (I'm also not saying it isn't! I'm not choosing sides on that debate!). I'm just saying I would be profoundly uncomfortable forever if my mind wound up in my sister's body. I would never be able to masturbate again! But what if I could get my sister, in my body, to jerk me, in her body, off? That isn't weird, right? She's just doing what she always did and I don't have to touch my sister's naughty place (which is now my naughty place?). That's probably the only real solution to this problem! Anybody grossed out by my sex talk can go suck on a dog turd because Mark Russell makes sex jokes too!

LOAD "Load",8 RUN

Superman is super worried about The Great Scramble because he could wind up in Aquaman's body. He calls for the Justice League to stop helping victims of natural disasters and concentrate on stopping The Great Scramble. I don't know what his plan is but I know it's not "give The Scrambler what he wants and make the world a fair and just place for every Earth citizen" because Batman would just shoot it down. He just wants to stop random violence in back alleys not upset the status quo which serves rich people. The Scrambler is hiding out at Polly Math's place because she loves his plan. Plus I bet she gets immunity as his sidekick. Superman doesn't know the hell Polly Math is so he has no chance of figuring out where The Scrambler is hiding. He contacts the president to let him know the world probably isn't screwed but maybe be prepared for the worst?

I applaud Russell and Byrne's choice to let the DCU have a different president.

Zan uses his powers to become a disgusting fly to learn where The Scrambler is hiding rather than working a deal with the League of Annoyance. I wonder if Zan craves shit when he's a fly? Probably. But even though all the clues point to Filo Math's place, Zan can't figure it out. Jayna does figure it out though and she goes to talk some sense into Polly and The Scrambler. But Polly logically suplexes Jayna's argument into the hospital. It's one of those scenes Mark Russell does really well where he explains social problems through character and plot in much the way good comic book writers have been doing for so long that Comicsgaters never really noticed until they felt their frail white masculinity threatened. I'm sure they'd read this, scoop out their eyes, roll them around the room, and then tweet death threats to Gail Simone. But if you gave them Denny O'Neil and Neal Adams early seventies run of Green Lantern/Green Arrow, they'd probably say, "Fuck those faggots too!" Hmm, that sentence really got away from me. I was going to point out that they probably wouldn't have had a problem with those stories even if they were absolutely non-abstract social justice stories but then reality slapped me across the face and said, "You know how those fucking assholes would really react, right?" So sorry about saying the f-word but I just got too into the character of a Comicsgater. It was worse than when I contemplated having to masturbate in my sister's body. Seriously though, I can't understand the argument about comic books ignoring character and plot to simply put forth social justice agendas because when I think back at all the comic books I've read for the last forty years, the majority of them by a large margin were stories about increasing social justice. What the fuck were these Comicsgaters reading all these years?!

"With our bank accounts!"

If I knew the exact time The Great Scramble was going to happen, I'd leave my body sitting naked in a tub of chocolate pudding with The Exegesis of Philip K. Dick wrapped around my penis. Lex creates an app called Lexema that will allow family members to stay in contact after The Great Scramble. I just figured everybody would stay in contact because they're still the only ones with their names and passwords on their social media platforms and emails. Unless most people don't know how to use computers in libraries and/or use those password apps to create passwords that their computer remembers for them. I guess Lex probably has a good point with that program. It's not like anybody memorizes phone numbers anymore (which would be useless, of course. I'm just using that as evidence and an example of how people probably won't remember all the passwords they need. I would expect, in The Great Scramble world, the first few months would be all about proving who used to be who and just setting everybody back up in their old lives. Lex's app should be a place where everybody locks in a secret password which they can use to prove who they were prior to The Great Scramble! Man, that would have been the better idea! I think I'm smarter than Lex Luthor! The world governments actually are instituting laws to protect people all over the world when The Great Scramble goes into effect. So The Scrambler's plan is sort of working! Jayna realize that they can stop The Great Scramble and all of those laws will still happen. The Scrambler will be a hero! But before she can reach Polly and The Scrambler, the Justice League arrives and captures them. Because Zan did some detective work as a water molecule to find where The Scrambler was hiding. And with the capture of The Scrambler, the president and the rest of the world decide not to sign all the laws that would improve the world. Stupid meddling kid! Wonder Twins #6 Rating: It's still being written by Mark Russell, right? So A+! And that Stephen Byrne guy didn't do too bad a job, whatever it was he does. Draws the boxes the stories go in or something. They were pretty straight! Good job!

#Wonder Twins #Mark Russell #Stephen Byrne #DC Comics #DC #Comic Book Reviews

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mrsspidermanmaryjanewatsonparker · 5 years

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You seem pretty well versed in Peter and Mary Jane’s history, and I just want to ask, can you go in depth about Mary Jane’s personality? I know her history, her terrible home life, her history with Peter, but I want to know about HER. Her personality. Her dynamic with Peter. I feel these days that she’s been reduced to the “Pretty love interest” for Spider-Man, which I hate. I KNOW Mary Jane has a lot of depth and evolution as a character.

I know she’s a party girl. Fun loving. Spunky. Independent. Funny. Intelligent. Confident. But I want to know MORE about her, as a person. What else does she do in her life? How does she interact with other people? Before she got in serious relationships, did she sleep around? Was the type of gal that did drugs? Is she open minded? Those seem like weird questions, I admit, I admit, but they really help define her character. How energetic and charismatic is she? Does she completely control the life of the party?

Mary Jane has really become a character I’m really interested in, but I’ve never really seen her “Comic Accurate” personality adapted to a modern adaptation right. The closest I would say would be the Spectacular, but even then she felt too calm.

So I want your answer. I wouldn’t mind hearing an in-depth one. I know you’ve got idealized versions (And I do to, I think I can go on an essay long rant about why I think the two complete each other) but I want to hear YOUR opinion. And if you could adapt the story into the modern day, what would your idealized Mary Jane be like? How would she and Peter’s lovely history happen?

Sorry for the long, oddly specific question, but I really want to figure out MJ, and you look like you have the matching passion and knowledge to help interested fans in her like me.

MJ’s personality is tricky because it evolves over time. But modern MJ when written correctly would have, as we all do, multiple sides to her personality.

She can be goofy, funny, carefree, a party animal, a worry wort, self-deprecating, harsh to her loved ones, selfish, self sacrificing, brave, fearful (but never cowardly), ambitious, beat herself up, socially savvy, very confifident, innately sociable, can keep a secret and just about everything between all that.

Her dynamic with Peter is also very complicated, it’s ort of easier to talk about examples you throw out at me. But I guess on a fundamental level her dynamic with Peter is all about mutual emotional fulfilment and how that is ultimately mitigates the extreme baggage that comes from life with a hero.

You can phrase it in many different ways but fundamentally MJ loves Peter because of his sense of responsibility.

In essence her Dad was her male role model in terms of a romantic partner, but in the negative. So she found herself attracted to a guy who on a certain superficial level (studious, a bookworm) was like her Dad but on a much deeper level was the polar opposite. Peter wasn’t a raving tyrant, he wasn’t a selfish dick, he wasn’t irresponsible.

She grew up under the fear of a (verbally) abusive man but in Peter she saw a guy who in spite of having a lot of intelligence and raw physical power to also be an abusive and exploitative person, instead NEVER truly abused his gifts and chiefly used them selflessly, even at personal cost.

It is not canon but a great summation of this is in Spider-Man: Reign #4 where MJ’s ghost tells Peter she didn’t love him because he could beat bullies like Flash up but because he could but never would.

Similarly in Web #6 MJ ponders how she could never marry peter due to the worry over his risking his life and how if he didn’t do that he’d have been someone she’d have jumped to marry. But then she realizes if he was someone who was selfishly going to use his abilities for fame and fortune he’d never have BEEN the kind of person she’d have fallen for.

So MJ, unlike Peter’s other girlfriends, is the one who loved him for the thing that most defined, him his sense of responsibility.

But it’s a double edged sword because in caring about him, she obviously doesn’t want him to be hurt, hence you have this brilliant narrative tension.

Wrapped up in this is the fact that MJ understands Peter’s issues with guilt and responsibility because she also renegaded upon her responsibilities and has felt guilty about it ever since because it also hurt her family.

So they are kindred spirits but whilst Peter passively stood by and let the burglar escape MJ actively ran away from her pregnant sister.* Then both of them kept that pain all to themselves for years before admitting it to one another, whilst also keeping their true personalities concealed behind public masks, meaning MJ gets that about him too.

But in confiding in one another they were able to remove those masks and be themselves in one another’s company.

You asked what else MJ does in her life. Mostly she has great ambitions in regards to usually acting, modelling, night club owning, stuff like that. MJ enjoys the spotlight and always has since she was a child.

Her interactions with most people used to be light and jokey or flirtatious. Now they are more even handed though she can be lightly flirtatious just because its in her personality.

MJ’s sex life is very much up in the air. Fans have presumed she had a lot of sex prior and after her first relationship with Peter but there is little on the page evidence confirming or denying this. Certainly she went out on a lot of casual dates.

MJ in terms of drugs is also something never touched upon in spite of her name. However the subtext of the Harry drug story implies MJ is aware of Harry’s drug abuse and she does dump him during that arc specifically when he is as high as a kite so it could be implied from this that MJ has little time for drugs.

When you think about it, between her abusive Dad and her need to maintain a facade around herself it’s unlikely MJ was going to use drugs. She wouln’t want to risk losing any control of her facade. She did smoke in high school though and later due to stress when she was married to Peter, but only briefly.

Is MJ open minded? Well...that depends upon the topic doesn’t it. She isn’t racist or homophobic. She was okay with doing a nude scene in a movie or wearing revealing lingerie on a modelling gig, only really being concerned with how Peter might feel about her doing that, so she’s no prude. She did display an initial prejudice against clones during the Clone Saga. Again what topic are we talking about.

How energetic or charaismatic is she. I mean...very charismatic and energetic most of the time. but it depends upon the situation. She’s not gonna be charismatic or emergetic after someone has died.

MJ could probably control the life of a party if she put her mind to it, yes.

Regarding the Spec cartoon, yes maybe MJ wasn’t comic accurate and more calm but in fairness everyone was because you aren’t going to present a modern cartoon with the same over the top characterization as a Stan Lee 1960s comic book. Peter was comparatively more chill in that show.

In terms of how I’d adapt her and Peter’s story and her characterization it would basically be as it was from the comics but with modern dialogue and pacing with more foreshadowing towards MJ having a hidden personality. I have mapped out my ideal Spider-Man TV series and in that you get MJ in season 2 ala her Romita era debut and then things are as they are in the comics up until she breaks up with Harry. I’d leave them separated unlike what happened in the comics (due to them repurposing an older story where they were together but that’s another issue) then have her and Peter fall in love as they did in the Conway run and break up as they did in the Wolfman run but change it from Peter proposing to MJ to asking her to move in with him.

My rationale is that in the modern day its very uncommon even for a college senior to be discussing marriage. You’d get the same thing with him surprising MJ with a crackerjack box or something but it’d have his apartment key in it instead of a wedding ring.

Additionally, I’d have her outright dump him (as opposed to the pair just not going steady anymore) and leave New York within the same story, the same story where Peter graduates, just because it’d make for a good season finale and makes the story more concise. In essence MJ just hard runs away from Peter the moment commitment rears its head.

This would lead to more of an impact in the next season when he’s dating Felicia and MJ (with no foreshadowing, which is how the comics made things happen) shows up at Peter’s door.

Again from there things would progress as they did in the comics except when we get to the MJ backstory episode I’d work her scenes from Parallel Lives into that too.

For reasons I won’t go into, for this hypothetical adaptation I’d bring the events of Hobgoblin Lives way forward in time so instead of happening when Peter and MJ are married shortly after the Clone Saga they happen shortly after Ned Leeds dies and after Peter and Felicia have broken up again. They would form the basis of another season finale wherein MJ’s role would be functionally the same as in the comic book but with two additions. Since this would be the season finale there should be some payoff for her and Peter’s relationship.

So after she, Peter, Flash and Betty formulate their plan to smoke out the real Hobgoblin MJ asks Peter how he copes with this stuff and he shows her by taking her out webswinging and we homage Sensational Annual 2007. Then later after Hobgoblin beats Peter hard he recovers at MJ’s place and she covers for him and they almost kiss before he heads off to save Betty.

I’d open the next season with the storyline wherein Peter proposes to MJ and they eventually get engaged. But instead of them marrying immediately I’d adapt loads of stories that in the comics happened after the wedding and use those to present challenges and doubts to Peter and MJ about getting married. It’d basically be a whole season about whether or not they will get married at all.

So you’d get things like the Jonathan Caesar storyline, the return of Black Cat, Kraven’s Last Hunt as the mid-season finale and the penultimate episodes would be the introduction of Venom. Obviously Venom debuted confronting MJ so there is that, but also Brock is a divorcee, the symbiote is literally one of Peter’s ex’s and a lover scorned, whom he tried to kill in a church bell tower. In the first Venom story and in my version Spidey and Venom end their first battle in that same church bell tower.

All of which is thematically juicy for an arc about relationships and marriage (because wedding bells get it).

I’d make 2 major changes though, one of which is Venom’s battle with Felicia from the second Venom arc would happen before he confronts Spidey for the first time and Peter would defeat Venom in his classic suit. The idea being that MJ makes a new version of his classic suit both because she prefers it and because it represents his true self vs the black costume which is what he’s like to be.

The classic suit = friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man/ the black suit = bad ass scary Spider-Man.

So only by being himself, by being the person MJ loves, can Peter defeat Venom this dark reflection of himself.

The story would end with Peter and MJ reunited but both clearly having doubts, as though Venom has ‘poisoned’ their future relationship.

The actual finale would mostly be an adaptation of ASM Annual #21 but with more of a focus upon the doubts each character has and unlike the comic we see HOW those doubts are put to rest. For MJ its having a conversation with Bruce and with Peter its having a conversation with the hospitalized Felicia.

Through their conversations the pair realize that rather than all the stuff they’ve been through (Venom, Kraven, etc) showing them they shouldn’t be together, the fact that they’re still together in spite of all those things proves that they can make things work. So the season wraps up with them getting married.

The next season would be a Harry Osborn centric season but MJ in response to Peter’s parents seemingly returning would seek out her sister and her Dad in jail and reconcile with them like she did in the Clone Saga.

Then I’d do the clone saga so that’s essentially going to be the same thing except obviously Peter will not be hitting any pregnant women in this version because fuck that shit. Also Peter and MJ wouldn’t leave New York although Peter would still temporarily retire as Spider-Man.

Finally I’d do a season set after the Clone Saga leading up to the pair reuniting with their kidnapped baby, Peter losing his powers and truly retiring forever, then we go into a Spider-Girl TV show.

*This is important also because when MJ closed the door after Gwen died to comfort Peter she was choosing to do the OPPOSITE of what she’d done with her sister.

In essence Peter made MJ a better person, he made her confront her issues or helped her to do so and she grew as a result. She became a more heroic, more self-sacrificing and more responsible person. This was always the case since before they were dating Peter pushed for MJ to give a witness statement to the cops about a murder which she didn’t want to do out of fear.

In turn MJ made Peter fight all the harder. He very much needs her in his life as she has emotionally, mentally and physically saved him multiple times, see Kraven’s Last Hunt for an example.

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