#but i can promise that all of them are valid places for your money to go | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tgirlwithreverb · 5 months

Text

I saw that post about what to do if you're homeless again (the one that starts by telling you to spend all of your money on motel rooms lmao) anyway, here's a few thoughts, specifically for trans girls, cuz I don't really care otherwise tbh:

1) plan ahead, most trans girls are in precarious housing situations, you will have a much easier time when it falls apart if you already have a pack with most of the gear you need in it. Also, if you find yourself in a situation where you cant make rent, dont pay part of it, spend that money on gear, pocket the rest and leave, youll have a much nicer time. Look up your local eviction laws, you have plenty of time. (Gear list at the end)

2) travel! If you're in Arizona in May, leave. it's about to be hot as hell. If you're in Michigan in October, leave. It's about to be cold as hell. If you're in a big city, leave. It's way easier to be homeless pretty much anywhere else. Amtrak is cheaper and more comfortable than greyhound, hitchhiking is free and easy, if you're alone it's not that much slower than the previous two, and it's more fun, and sometimes people buy you food or whatever or give you money. I promise it's not scary and you're entirely capable of doing it, no matter who you are. 95+% of people who will pick you up are very nice. All you have to do is take the bus out of town, as far down the highway you can, to an exit with a truck stop if possible, then just stand on the side of the road with your thumb out until someone picks you up. You can stand at the bottom of the ramp(on the highway) near where the merge lane ends or at the top of the ramp(where there's usually a traffic light), the former is more likely to lead to cop interactions but will maybe get you a ride faster, check on hitchwiki for how the cops are in the area. don't be afraid to take a commuter bus or Amtrak to get out of a shitty cop area

3) skip shelters if you can (they are very occasionally a decent place to get stuff from) and encampments, good places to sleep include the trees near railroad tracks or highways, wooded areas behind shopping centers, sections of parks without paths, overgrown empty lots. Hang a tarp above you if there's an appreciable chance of rain, there's tons of YouTube tutorials on how to do this, maybe I'll make a post about what I usually do some day. There are many habits more fun than motel rooms, save your money for them lmao.

4) get on food stamps. This is easier in some places than others, but it makes the whole thing a lot easier. Just tell them you're homeless, if they don't give you a card the same day, you can probably ask to pick it up from that office, alternatively some drop in centers/day shelters can receive mail for you, or you can have it sent to general delivery(USPS service, look it up)

7) libraries are great for charging your phone and using wifi, but also keep an eye out, plenty of random outlets on the outsides of buildings are also powered

5) dumpster. sidewalk trash cans, Aldi, Einstein's, trader Joe's, pizza places, etc. You need to develop a bit of a sense for it but it's an easy way to get cooked food or travelling food or expensive food without spending resources. Also it's fun.

6) water is free, go into the bathroom of any gas station or grocery store in America(offer not valid in most big cities or on the west coast, but in that case just go to the library) and fill up your water bottle

8) hygiene notes: truckers get free showers from chain truck stops(loves, pilot/flying j) go there and ask them. convenient if you're hitchhiking, also you don't need to shower 3 times a day, really, you'll survive. Ditto with deodorant. Take care of your teeth though. Take your socks off every. day. Change them consistently. Safety razors give a good shave, work well without adequate water pressure, and the replacement blades are very stealable, they're kind of heavy though. Walmart makes these electric razors for women that take AA batteries and are pretty light but give a worse shave, also they kinda go through batteries, pick whatever works for you(cartridge razors suck)

9) traveling food notes: peanut butter is great, tortillas and bagels travel pretty well, tuna packets are pretty good protein for traveling(the ones with rice and beans or whatever are nice since theyre often the same price as the regular), condiment packets are free, hot sauce makes everything better, and mayo goes well with tuna and has a bunch of calories in it, salad dressing packets are free from truck stops and work well turning the Walmart shredded vegetable packages (labeled for making into slaw, next to the bagged salads) into a salad with real vegetables(not iceberg lettuce) in it or mixing in with tuna packets for even more calories than mayo

Gear world:

Necessary items(in order of importance): a gallon of water carrying capacity(an Arizona jug or other twist top jug is conventional, but a bladder+arizona bottles also works), a tarp(larger than 6'x9', not brightly colored), a hank of parachord, a sleeping bag (20° rated, synthetic insulation), a backpack with a padded hip belt(at least 50L, no more than 75), rain gear(a rain poncho might cover your pack too, a rain jacket can help with wind when its cold, a trash bag inside or outside your pack can keep it dry, a plan to watch the weather and not get caught also works), a z-fold foam sleeping pad, three pairs of socks, two pairs of underwear (at least one pair of boxer breifs strongly recommended if you arent incredibly skinny), a decent pair of shoes with good arch support, a functional jacket(skip if you got a rain jacket before), a base layer(wool or poly, absolutely no cotton)

Convenient items: a sleeping bag liner(cotton free, keeps you warm in winter and cool in summer), gallon zip locks to pack your stuff in(helps keep it dry and organized), no more than one change of clothes(as light as possible), a multi-tool(can opener, pliers, wire cutter), lighter(burning rope ends etc), spoon, floss and needles for patching

#anyway #not all encompassing or whatever #feel free to add your own tips but ill make fun of you if theyre stupid

4K notes · View notes

koishiro · 9 months

Text

# - 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐄𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐀 𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇

masterlist | genshin masterlist | upcoming anon asks

Diluc

Okay I’m sorry but he’ll flat out ignore you at first,

Or at least he tries to considering he can’t stop thinking about you which will make him confused for a while on why his heart “aches” when you’re around. He doesn’t realise it but when you’re around or generally anywhere near him, he’ll subtly scuffle closer towards you and I can imagine Diluc trying his best to be in your line of sight as much as he can because that’s his way of infiltrating your mind. Every time you visit Angel’s Share don’t expect to pay for anything, it’s conveniently on the house. I can imagine he’d also want a form of validation from you (and only you) after he gives his opinion in a discussion, it makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

“Fancy seeing you here Y/n, the usual? What are you doing? There’s no need to spend your mora on such wasteful things”

Zhongli

…I hope you like tea,

Because you better expect to be invited to the funeral parlor “for tea” at least 3 days a week. If you’re ever walking through Liue and compliment something at a passing stall, he’ll buy it for you without a second thought because let’s be real (and these are his words exactly): - “mora has no value if it’s not spent on something worthwhile” …this man - he doesn’t realise how much of a flirt he is and is always confused if he catches your red face. He’ll also subtly court you without making it too obvious, like he’d appear at your place of work quite often with the excuse;

“the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor is running quite slow today, I wondered if you’d like to take a stroll around the town with me, possibly have a look at the stalls”

Kaeya

This flirtatious bastard,

He’ll always think of ways to make you malfunction. You’re a regular at Angel’s Share as well?: “Ah so this is where all the pretty ladies are kept hm?”, followed by a drink he bought you. Any time he sees you walking though the streets of Mondstadt he’ll jog up to you and say: “Going somewhere m’lady? I could escort you if you’d like, maybe you’d care for a drink at the tavern?”. I can imagine Klee giggling to herself when she sees you as if she knows something you don’t…

“Sorry miss Y/n, Klee was told she can’t say anything, Kaeya made Klee promise - oh, you won’t tell Kaeya will you miss Y/n?”

Al haitham

This withdrawn boy…

He’d quite literally just stare at you from across the room until someone (Kaveh) nudges his shoulder, telling him he’ll scare you off if he continues. If you’re already aquatinted with each other he’ll most likely try and impress you by giving you book recommendations or talk about his findings at the Akademiya while you zone out and stare at his face for the next few hours. If you’re not aquatinted, he’ll saddle up to you and still give you recommendations:

“If I could just interject, herbal tea would be best whilst chamomile shall just make you drowsy, if you’d like I could show you how to make your own”

Childe

Ah yes, the cocky ginger,

I imagine he’d act like Kaeya, if he saw you strolling through Liue, Childe would stride up to you and ask if he could escort you to where you need to be with the excuse; “you can never be too careful” and this would become a habit to the point of meeting you once your shift ends to walk you back home. He’d also 100% spend his money on you no doubt, like Zhongli his excuse would be

“what’s the point of mora if I can’t spend it on a pretty girl hm?”

Itto

I hope you’re a dog person,

Because this is at your beck and call. One of the ways he shows his interest towards you is gift giving; you need a certain herb? Wait here while he goes and hunts it down for you, or maybe you need some meet? Don’t worry, he’ll quickly chase down a boar for you. And if you thank him a big smile when he delivers them? His tail could cause a tornado with how powerful his tail is wagging. Another way he shows his interest is physical affection; you’re sitting down reading a book? He’s there with his head on your shoulder, you’re both walking through town? He’s got a firm grasp on either your hand or your arm,

“what? I can’t let you wander off and get yourself lost, what would I do then? Who would hive me head pats?”

Kaveh

You wouldn’t even know he has a crush on you,

Instead thinking he’s just this friendly with everyone. Being an architect, no less from Sumeru, he would show and explain his ideas to you and ask for advice on what you think about them, sometimes he’ll deliver miniature structures to you that he made, for example: he once made you a wooden mobile (like a baby cot mobile) to hang wherever you please that plays music because he knew you had trouble sleeping or another time, he made you a glass wind-chime that would reflect the sun and cause rainbow rays to spread across your porch because you spend so much time in your garden. He’ll either make these as a thank you, a just cause, or he’ll make up a white lie and say it’s an experiment he’d like you to test run, always delivered with an excuse he made beforehand:

“Ah Y/n, glad I ran into you! I noticed the other day that you were struggling to keep on top of watering all of your plants so I made an automatic watering system! If it all goes well, I might start a batch of them”

—

－𝘬𝘰𝘪 𝘹𝘰

#diluc x y/n #diluc x reader #zhongli #genshin impact kaeya #tighnari #kazuha #al haitham #childe #scaramouche #genshin itto #genshin impact kaveh #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin headcanons #genshin fluff

318 notes · View notes

fixyourwritinghabits · 11 months

Text

AI For Good, AI For Bad, AI for All

We talked about how to view AI as a writing tool, but I also want to acknowledge the worry about AI replacing creative jobs is completely valid, and we need to treat it with the caution it deserves. In an uncertain future, there are steps we can take to protect ourselves and our fellow creatives:

Support creative unions, back union strikes. The WGA strike is a critical example of how fair pay needs to be a factor, ever-changing technology is affecting creative jobs across the board, from novel editing to art direction. Support creative unions, back union strikes, and boosting efforts to form unions is one way to support the future of creative art remaining in the hands of those who make it. Support animation unions, support voice acting unions, support the formation of new unions to protect the future of workers.

Push for regulation. Even those working in AI are sounding the alarm that we need to have government regulations in place to ensure these systems are used in a way that benefits society, not tears it apart. Paying attention and participating by supporting candidates and policy will matter. Some promising motions have been made by the US Supreme Court rejecting copyright cases involving AI, but more needs to be done. We can get to a better future if we try.

Fight back against sketchy AI practices. Tor has once again been caught using an AI cover instead of paying an artist, something I promise you they absolutely can afford to do. Some companies are quietly switching out real narrators for AI. We do not need to accept a world where those critical to the writing process, be they editors, artists, or narrators, have their jobs stripped away by companies that make more than enough money to pay them. Call it out, don't buy content affected by it, and call it out on social media.

Be open and honest about how you use AI. As I've said before, I don't think AI is something you should boycott completely. What I do think is important, though, is to talk about how you use it. Trying to work out a plot snare, for example, or generating an AI image to help you figure out how to describe a room are decent examples of how it can be used as a tool, and it should be encouraged if it can genuinely helpful. Calling out AI-use passed off as original work is going to get harder, and one thing we can do is be honest with ourselves and others about how we use it.

Pay for your shit. Listen, I work in education. I'm double-dutying it when it comes to being a broke writer and a broke educator. But if you're an indie author and you need a decent cover and an editor that'll act more as a grammar-checker, you need to work with real people, which means you need to pay them what they're worth. As a creative you are part of a community of people who will need your support, as well as support you in turn. You'll only be doing yourself a disfavor by turning your back to it.

A better future is worth fighting for - and we can fight for it, no matter how bleak it looks.

#AI #support your fellow creatives #and you'll be supporting yourself in the process

368 notes · View notes

ahgasegotarmy116 · 3 months

Text

The Art of Etiquette Part 6 | Jeon Jungkook

Summary: Your parents invite Mr. Jeon over to dinner without your knowledge and spring a proposal on you that you're not given a chance to refuse Pairing: f!reader x Etiquette instructor Jungkook Word Count: 4.1k~ Warnings: Explicit Language and a lot of teasing a/n: A longer chapter as promised 😅 Hope you guys are looking forward to the next one 🤭 p.s. barely edited so have mercy on me lmao Start from the beginning

"Hey" my mom says, popping her head in my room. "Yeah?" I respond, thumbing through the most recent book Jungkook gave me. "Dinner is almost ready so can you come downstairs in a bit?" she questions and I look up at her as if she's grown two heads.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" I question, extremely suspicious of her motives. "What do you mean? I'm your mother" she chuckles, walking towards where I'm laying on my bed, brushing back the hair that had fallen in my face.

"Usually you use that as an excuse to discipline me or whatever so what's really going on?" I question, sitting up from my reclined position and straightening out my clothes.

"I was going to wait for James to tell you but there's a charity ball next weekend and we wanted you to attend it with us" she says, smiling at the idea of having a united front with all three of us together.

"A charity ball? What charity?" I prod further while cocking a brow at her. Wanting to figure out exactly why there needs to be an event when they can just not have an event and give all the money to the charity.

I swear, I'll never understand rich people.

"I don't know honey that's something for your father to worry about" she says not giving a care in the world to what I thought was a very valid question. "Step father" I correct her.

No matter how hard she tries, no one is going to take my father's place.

"Step father" she echos as if she's tired of me already "Either way, it'll be good to get your face out in public with us. Who knows, you might be able to make some good connections along the way" she finishes as she walks out the door, paying no mind to if I would like to continue the conversation or not.

"Oh and we've invited Mr. Jeon to dinner tonight so he'll be arriving shortly" she calls out over her shoulder.

'Mr. Jeon is coming okay whatever' I think to myself before blinking a few times and finally processing what she said. "Mr. Jeon is having dinner with us? Why?" I say rushing out of my room to catch her before she's gotten too far.

"Well after he dropped you off the other night I realized that James and I haven't really had a chance to speak to him yet so a family dinner seemed like the perfect opportunity to do so. Is there a problem with that?" she questions, noticing my body language.

"Nope. No problem at all" I choke out, mad that she didn't give me any sort of warning or better yet, asked if I was comfortable with it. "Great, we told him to come around 6:30 so try to be down before he gets here" she says and continues on her descent down the stairs and out of my sight.

"Shit" I say to myself and run back into my room and check my phone where it reads six o'clock on the dot.

Looking down at the clothes I'm wearing I realize I'm donning an oversized sweatshirt and some baggy sweats with my hair in a sad excuse for a ponytail and run into my bathroom to do something with my hair as quickly as I can.

After doing that and throwing on some mascara and chapstick I dig through my closet and find a nice off the shoulder sweater and some jeans and throw them on as quickly as I can and pair it with a set of converse hoping that it'll suffice.

I know for a fact that he's gonna show up in something ridiculous like a suit of some sort but I can't be bothered to do much more than this. Thanks to my mother I wasn't even given the opportunity to choose otherwise.

"Y/n Mr. Jeon's pulling up right now" I hear my mom call out for me. I roll my eyes before responding. "Be right there" I yell out, checking myself out one last time before heading down where I see my mom is already greeting him in the doorway.

As I observe their exchange I watch as Jungkook's eyes flicker over in my direction but once he actually sees me he makes eye contact after dragging his eyes up and down my figure, making me lose my footing for a second but not enough for him to notice. Or so I thought as he meets me with a knowing smile while my mother has her head turned the other way.

I roll my eyes at him and finish my path down the steps without falter and end up a few feet in front of him where my mom still spouts off a ridiculous excuse for small talk all while Jungkook has barely taken his eyes off me.

"Thank you for inviting me Mrs. Hart" Jungkook says and she quickly dismisses the formalities requesting he call her Lily instead before she excuses herself so she can grab a vase for the flowers I'm just now noticing he had given her.

"Y/n would you mind taking him to the sitting room? Dinner should be ready soon" she finishes and leaves Jungkook and I still standing by the front door.

"For you" he says pulling out a single white rose from behind his back. "Oh, it's beautiful" I say, reaching out to take it from him, accidentally grabbing his hand instead of the flower and look up at him with the intension to apologize but my words are caught in my throat when I meet his eyes.

His damn eyes that see right though me yet beg to learn more. His eyes that leave my skin crawling but craves his touch no matter how light it might be. His eyes that tell me everything and nothing all at once.

"You're welcome Pretty" he whispers as though it was a secret never to be told to any soul other than our own.

"I- what?" I stammer, caught off guard by his compliment, eyes wide in shock which only earns me a slight upturn of his lips before he turns to face towards the direction my mother had disappeared to.

"Shouldn't we be heading to the sitting room like your mother requested?" he says slipping his hand out of my grasp.

I clear my throat before wordlessly walking towards said room, worried that I might betray myself otherwise.

"You have a lovely home" he says once I motion towards a place for him to sit once we arrive in said room. "Thank you. James and my mother bought it soon after they got married so we've lived here ever since" I respond, making an effort to keep the conversation going.

"Would you mind if I asked how long ago that was?" he questions, opting to do the same. "It was about four years ago, around the time I was graduating. They had been dating for a few years and I guess they decided that they were serious enough about each other to get married" I say just scratching the surface as to how everything went down between them.

"Are you fond of your step father?" he asks, apparently interested in getting to know more about me. "I like him more than I like my own mother most days if I'm being honest. He's a really great guy and my mom seems happy so that's all I could really ask for" I say shrugging my shoulders, not really having too strong of an opinion on it.

He nods his head, almost reflecting on the answer and I fear that I've made him feel awkward by my response so I nervously slip in a question of my own. "Do you have family close by?" I question since now that I think about it we really haven't had too much time to get to know the most basic things about each other.

"Unfortunately no. My parents and brother live in Korea still and so it's just Bam and I" he says with a sad smile. "Bam?" I question, "Yeah my dog. He's a Doberman that thinks he's a lap dog at times and at other's he's ready to defend me against the smallest of things" he says with a soft smile reminiscing about the fond memories they've made together.

"How old is he?" I question, seeing that he clearly loves talking about him. "He'll be turning two in December" he says scrunching his brows together for a second as he tries to get it right. "Aw he's still just a baby. Why haven't I seen him before?" I question since I feel like I would've noticed a big puppy like him wandering around the place.

"I take him to his trainers while I'm working and then pick him up once we've concluded our lessons" he replies. "So that's the business meeting you spoke about when my mother tried to invite you to dinner the other night then" I say clearly catching him in a lie from seeing his reaction.

"Yes, it was" he says, deciding to admit it to set a good example for me instead of breaking the promise we made. "Is that why you force me into letting you give me a ride home most days?" I prod further, wanting to get answers out of him while I still can.

"That, amongst other things..." he trails off with a smile and before I'm even able to think about what the fuck he means by that my mother comes in letting us know that dinner is ready.

"Thank you so much for joining us on such late notice Mr. Jeon" James says, reaching out to shake Jungkook's hand before we all sit down. Jungkook sitting across from me with my mother and James on either end of the table.

"Thank you for your generous invitation. You have a very lovely home" he compliments while turning his attention back to my mother for a second, inferring that she was probably the designer from the feminine touches throughout it all.

"Lily really prides herself in creating a soft and peaceful atmosphere and I can't help but adore everything she's done to the place" James says while gazing over at my mother with a soft smile. Anyone can see that he really loves her and although her and I butt heads I'm happy she ended up with someone like him.

"I feel as though you've definitely achieved your goal then, wouldn't you say y/n?" Jungkook says, catching me off guard by bringing me into the conversation.

"Oh, um yes I think you've done a wonderful job mother" I say smiling at her momentarily before looking back over at Jungkook, giving him a look as a way to question his motives but he only gives me a pleasant smile in return.

The night goes on almost painlessly with each of us engaging in what Jungkook would phrase it as 'Stimulating Conversations' and even gets a few smiles and laughs out of me. It feels as if I'm seeing him in a new light tonight.

Not merely as teacher and student, but as some what of a friend. One that I'm starting to realize has had nothing but my best interest at heart. Sure some of his methods might seem unorthodox but I know now that he means well, he just has an interesting way of showing it.

"Would that be alright with you y/n?" I hear James call out, making me realize I had not only been thinking about Jungkook but also staring right at him and losing track of the conversation.

"I'm sorry what was that?" I say quickly, tearing my eyes off of Jungkook and over at James, hoping to hide that I was staring at Jungkook but also avoiding his ever knowing gaze.

"I just asked Jungkook if he would escort you to the charity ball we had mentioned earlier. That way you have a familiar face around" he says, widening my eyes at the suggestion and flitter them between Jungkook and James for a moment before trying to deny the offer.

"I couldn't possibly ask him to do that. I'm sure he has other matters to attend to or someone else he might have in mind to go with" I babble, trying to offer him a way out of this but my mother clears her throat as a warning to not try to push it anymore and to just accept what James thinks would be best for me.

"It's fine y/n, I assure you. I would be more than happy to help guide you. It's important for you to make a good impression no?" he says, nudging his foot against mine. Leaving me jolting at the sudden contact. "R-right" I stutter, taking a sip of water to cover up my reaction.

He just loves getting his way doesn't he? I swear, if we weren't being watched I would've stomped on his foot but instead I pull my feet back towards myself, leaving them out of reach and luckily they take our exchange as an agreement to the posed idea.

"If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? You just seem so mature but look so young that I just can't seem to pinpoint what your age might be" my mother asks him while taking a sip of her wine. I swear if she's tipsy and about to start flirting with him right in front of James I'm gonna puke.

"I turned 27 last September, I do tend to get that a lot. I guess it's just one of the many blessings my parents have bestowed on me" he says lightheartedly but I can tell he's clearly eating up the compliments as a way to tease me.

"Do your parents live close by? I feel like I would've seen them by now at one of the events over the years but I can't seem to recall a Mr. or Mrs. Jeon" James ponders, turning Jungkook's attention back over to him.

"Oh they're back in Busan, my home town in South Korea. I figured it would be too big of an adjustment for them to move here so I make sure to go visit them when my schedule allows it" he says giving a concise answer.

"Oh I've heard that Busan is a beautiful place to live. It's by the coast if memory serves me right" my mother jumps in, making me take interest in the conversation, still wanting to know more about him.

"Yes that's correct, although I only lived there until I was about eighteen when I got accepted into Seoul National University and in turn moved to Seoul" he informs and James asks more and more questions, fascinated in what the upperclass might call a "self made man journey".

~~~~~~

As the night wraps up and the dessert is long gone I can see that my mother is ready to head to bed, hopefully before making an absolute fool of herself after all the wine she's consumed.

"It was lovely meeting you Jungkook" my mother lightly slurs and James soon comes to her aid to say goodbye as well and I take that as an opportunity to slip out to get some air.

Making my way to the courtyard at the back of the house I take in the sight of the few stars that I can manage to make out, all these city lights stopping them from shining as bight.

"It's a shame isn't it?" I hear Jungkook's voice say from behind me, making me jolt in surprise. "You scared me" I say after glancing back at him. "I apologize, I didn't mean to" he say while taking a few strides towards me.

"Likely story" I mumble under my breath and he chuckles at my reaction. "Okay maybe I did a little bit, but it's only because I enjoy watching your reactions" he says smugly once he's standing next to me.

"Where's James?" I question, glancing over at him before turning my attention back to the sky. "Taking your mother to bed. Seems like she's had one too many" I nod my head in acknowledgment and he surprisingly takes it as an answer, refraining from asking questions, seeing my slight discomfort on the topic.

"What's a shame?" I question, making him tilt his head in confusion. "You said earlier 'It's a shame'. What were you referring to?" I remind him. "It's a shame you can't see many stars from here. The city lights tend to shine so bright that you can never truly see how brilliant they are" he smiles before answering.

"I don't think I've ever actually seen that many stars. I think the closest thing was when I was on a road trip with my mom and dad. I was too young though so I hardly remember it. I miss it though" I end, clearing my throat and pushing away any emotions that had stirred up from that last statement.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that" I say rubbing one of my bicep and shrinking back into myself so to say.

"You have nothing you need to apologize for y/n" he responds, leaving a beat of silence before filling it up again.

"I used to go stargazing with my father too" he starts, making me make eye contact with him for a second. "We used to drive all the way out to the edge of town where it was away from all the big buildings and bring a big blanket to lay on and we would just look up at the stars for what felt like hours" he smiles fondly, turning his focus back towards the heavens.

"I remember my mother scolding my father once for keeping me out too late, worried that I might've caught a cold. My father swore up and down that we both had dressed warm enough but by morning we both woke up sick as dogs" he chuckles, making me smile.

"She continued to scold him all day and all night but even through all of that, she was still there, nursing us back to health" he finishes.

"She sounds lovely" respond truthfully "She is" he whispers with a sad smile, and from that alone I can tell how much he misses home. "She can be quite intimidating when she wants to be though" he laughs.

"Oh really? Is that who you get it from?" I say, poking fun at him. "Get what?" he asks turning to face me and I mirror him, meeting his mischievous gaze.

"Your intimidation tactics you try to use on me" I say and he cocks an eyebrow at me.

"Try? I'm pretty sure I'm rather successful most days don't you think?" he questions taking a few steps towards me, leaving me taking a few steps back.

"Key word is most though, they don't always work" I say, walking backwards not paying mind to anything but keeping a distance between us.

"Really?" he says with a knowing smile, glancing behind me. As I open my mouth to respond I lose my footing and step off the patio flooring and onto the grass but before I fall Jungkook grabs my wrist and pulls me flush against his chest.

"Because they seem to be working right now. Seeing as you're trying to run away from me" he teases, tilting his head at me.

I push against his chest lightly and he loosens his grasp on me to barely give me room to breathe. "I wasn't running" I say, placing my hands on top of his and prying them off of me. With him letting go with little to no resistance, allowing me to step aside and walk past him.

"Then what were you doing?" he says grabbing my wrist before I get to far. As I try to respond I see a light turn on in my parents bedroom and pull Jungkook over to hide behind one of the pillars, hiding incase one of them were to look outside.

I watch for a few moments, holding my breath as I see shadows form in the light cast across the lawn, feeling my heart race until the light turns off, signaling that they've hopefully turned in for the night.

I let out that breath and jump at the sound of an amused scoff, having forgotten that he was still with me.

"What was it you were doing Miss y/n" he says in a hushed tone and when I turn to face him I realize I have my back against the pillar with a strong grip on his wrist, in turn having pulled him closer in an effort to hide.

I take in the distance between us which at this point is mere centimeters and lose my words watching as the city lights reflect in his eyes.

"I was maintaining personal space" I say after having regained the slightest bit of clarity which dissipates when he leans his forearm against the pillar above my head and leans in closer.

"And what pray tell are you doing now?" he asks in my ear and I can almost feel how much he's enjoying this, leaving me without the strength to come up with a reply.

"Hmm? Cat got you tongue?" he says, placing his hand on my waist and barely ghosting his lips against my skin.

He waits there for a beat, giving me a chance to respond but when I don't he decides to fill up that space. "I had fun tonight. Invite me over again sometime?" he questions, squeezing my waist a bit making me let out a quite okay and he smiles against my skin before pushing himself off of me and turning to walk back inside.

I stammer trying to say something but decide to just follow behind him.

"Let me get your coat and I'll walk you out" I say, knowing where we keep them when guest come and quickly catch up to where he stands at the front door and handing it to him. He decides to drape it over his arm in place of putting it on since his car is parked right out front.

He opens the door and lets me out first before following after and closing it behind us to keep the crisp night air from getting into the warm house.

"Thank you, um thank you for coming tonight. I wasn't really in on this plan so I'm sorry if the invitation inconvenienced you at all" I explain while following him to the drivers side of the car.

"I had a free spot open tonight so I was more than happy to accept" he says, opening the door and leaning in to place his things on the passenger side seat and straightening back up to face me again, not making moves to sit inside yet.

"I'm sorry they basically volunteered you to be my date to this stupid ball thing" I apologize further, looking down and kicking the rocks under my shoes in embarrassment.

"You know," he start, tilting my chin up to make eye contact, "You say sorry quite a lot for someone who doesn't need to apologize" he finishes, rubbing corner on my lips with his thumb before leaning in.

I shut my eyes tight, scared that this might be the time he actually kisses me and hold my breath.

I hear him chuckle to himself and places a kiss on the corner of my mouth, close enough to keep me wanting more and no where near far enough to maintain that professionalism he tries but fails to maintain around me.

"Goodnight y/n" he whispers before sinking down into the drivers seat making me open my eyes fast enough to see the satisfied smirk on his face.

He closes his door and starts the car, rolling down his window before he puts it in drive.

"We're going to the modiste in the morning to pick out your dress for the event so be ready at seven" he says, turning his face towards me.

"But it's Sunday" I protest and he nods in acknowledgment. "I'm aware but time is of the essence love. I'll come pick you up so please be ready on time" he says, waiting for an answer to solidify the plan.

"Yes Mr. Jeon" I mumble looking down at my shoes again, falling into routine of agreeing when I wish I didn't have to. "Good girl" he finishes, leaving me snapping my vision back up at him with shock and he grants me a smile in return.

"Goodnight Mr. Jeon" I say and at that he chuckles and faces straight ahead, rolling up his window before pulling out of the driveway and onto the street. Leaving me with my thoughts and emotions in a turmoil like he always does.

prev / next Series Masterlist

Taglist: @jkslipppiercing @trina864 @kaitieskidmore97 @goddesofimortality @coolbluedude @00frenchfries00 @bangtans-momma @coralmusicblaze @pastelpinkjoon @joonwater @marvelbun @j3nni-rs @evidive @beomieboi @forevrglow @jesssssmaybankk @teugiie @chaconnelatte @whoa-jo @snehal @xumyboo @mindurbuzznezz @diorh0seokie

Join my Taglist!

Feel free to fill out the form or just comment on any of my fics to be added :)

#jungkook fanfic #jungkook #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #kpop #fanfic #fanfiction #bts #kpop fanfic #jungkook x reader #jungkook x original character #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x oc #jungkook x you #jungkook and reader #jungkook and you #the art of etiquette #taoe

131 notes · View notes

babybreadddd · 4 months

Text

sorry no cure

characters: hyunjin x f!reader, established relationship

summary: (for u to find out!)

warnings: angst, cursing, arguing

a/n: its my first short fic, i hope you like it! ending is up to your interpretation, might do a pt2 ?

wc: 1.2k

in reality hyunjin isn't like this!!!! they are all cute, nice and friendly!! this is not the actual character of hyune!!

nothing was going your way. your heartless boss just dumped paperwork on you - on a weekend and demanded it to be done by monday. he took advantage of your willingness, your eager-to-please personality to make you do his dirty work. and at what expense?

you suffering, toiling on a saturday, one where you should be enjoying your day at home with hyunjin.

well, there was no point stopping your work. hyunjin wasn't home. he was out, going to a dance class.

i have to finish this quick, then wash up and clean the house... then i have to go grocery shopping, and maybe pay my sick dad a visit? if i finish my work, maybe i could get a quick treat. like, some acai?

oh, wait. you can't. money's tight, and well, acai is expensive. right.

you sighed internally. all you could do as you trudged through your work was to hope that hyunjin would come home in a good mood and comfort you, and what you could do now, was just to keep your mood from spiraling. too many worries spinning around. you couldn't keep this up for much longer.

hours passed quickly. with each passing hour, bottles upon bottles of caffeine were downed, your mind becoming a hazy mess as you mindlessly do your work.

you can't take it anymore. you detach yourself from your work and let your body slump on your chair. your eyes hurt, so you close them and leave your mind wandering.

screw your boss who doesn't respect your boundaries. screw you, who doesn't have enough guts to stand up for yourself and say no. you brought this suffering upon yourself, and now you're facing the consequences of your actions.

none of this could have happened if you said no. it's not like you would be fired if you said no. just accept reality - you're a people pleaser, and you're so easily manipulated by people. in all honesty, doing someone else's work isn't pleasant, but you feel validated. you live for the commendation, the acknowledgement, the applause. no matter how bad it feels, as long as someone validates you - that you've worked hard, you're someone, someone kind and loveable - that's all you care about.

and seeking that feeling, that validation has led you to this hell of a mess. it's all my fault right? you need to stop seeking validation, and just do your work well, and not overwork yourself. sounds simple enough?

the creak of the door opening sends you out of your trance. you see hyunjin, mustering a slight smile at the sight of you. he's definitely tired and exhausted.

you're still deep in your emotions, but you manage to get out a small "hi baby. how are you?"

"fine. did you get my art supplies?"

shit. his art supplies….you were too absorbed in doing your work that you forgot about it.

well, he's gonna get mad at you and then there goes your whole day. you can imagine it in your brain - work, arguments, maybe even sleeping in separate rooms? fighting with hyunjin over the smallest things often progressed to long, cold days of isolation where no exchanges would take place, and each would ignore the other, until one of you finally gave in.

no. i can't let that happen. it was painful for both of us last time, it hurt both of us.

you swallow your pride and mumble out a "sorry."

"sorry no cure, y/n."

you gasped internally. yes, hyunjin could be a little snarky during arguments, but that- wasn't that crossing a line? you always promised each other that no matter what, sorrys were the way to fix arguments, no matter how many apologies it took.

the word "sorry" in an argument meant so much. it meant putting your pride down, telling yourself you were wrong and that you'd do something to make amends.

the fact that he'd rejected a "sorry"? it's just paint supplies, it's not even something as important as missing a date! besides, he only does painting in his free time, and he barely spends time with me, what more painting?

"if sorry isn't a cure, then i'm not sorry for not getting you your painting supplies. get it yourself if it's so important." your emotions exploded. you were tired and irritable, and now you had to argue with the stubborn hyunjin? nevertheless, it hurt you so much to spit those venomous words out at him, but how could you break in front of his snarky comments? never.

an expression appears on his face, but it disappears quickly. you're not sure what it is, but you could pinpoint it to be something of horror and shock.

i've done some horrible damage this time.. i'm going to pay for it sooner or later. in fights like this, the worse thing you've done is to say some sharp words, give him the cold treatment and wait for a while before someone gives in and you both will be good. but this time, you're not too sure.

your pride, just put down a few seconds ago, begins to rise. you give him one more jab, scoffing lightly, "go get them now. you'll come back to a nice and quiet house with no one to quarrel with you. you like that? of course you do. i bet you hate me because i've failed you so many times."

that was the breaking point for hyunjin. he stepped closer to you, your gaze meeting his. your instinct was to flinch and take a step back, but for the sake of your pride, you didn't. instead, you stared right back into his eyes, emotionless.

before you knew it, you felt your composure cracking as you stared cold and hard into his brown eyes, each willing the other to break. you felt yourself breaking under his glare. exasperated, you sent him a death stare before you took your phone and keys, and muttered a quick "i need space" and left your shared home. you desperately wanted to take back your sharp words that plunged a knife straight to his heart, but how could you? you can't.

in arguments like this, you can't just turn back. you swallowed your pride to say sorry, and he rejects your apology? real nice of him.

and that's how you left him. you might've felt a little better if he had begged you to stay, but you knew he didn't want to give you the satisfaction of knowing he wouldn't want you to leave, that he still loves you, and he's sorry. that's hyunjin though.

4 sentences exchanged and that caused a fracture in your relationship with him. all you wanted when he came home was to give you comforting hugs and cuddles to soothe you from the stress of your work. and you'd do the same too, and you both would have a cozy day together. turns out fate had other plans for you.

you won't be coming back to this apartment for a while. you've plunged the knife in, turned and twisted it and there was probably nothing you could do to patch his broken heart back up. besides, you'd need to wait for him to cave first.

unknown to you, he was already working out a plan to get you back. you'd hate it, but it'll bring you back to him.

don't copy my work/post on other platforms! thanku :))) reblogs are appreciated and thanks for reading!

#hyunjin x reader #yay it's done #stray kids #stray kids angst #hyunjin #stray kids drabbles #stray kids x reader

72 notes · View notes

discount-shades · 9 months

Text

Dead or Alive Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Ten Wanted Men

A/N: This one is short but it felt like a really good place to end the chapter. The next chapter will be longer. :)

Pairing: Jake Seresin/Reader

Warning: Western themed violence.

Word Count: 1600 ish

Summary: Sugar and Jake plan to rob a stage.

Previous Masterlist Next

“I know of a score,” Pete looks up at you over his morning coffee. When you woke this morning you were still mulling over Jake's words from the night before. But when you saw Pete you made up your mind.

“I know of someone rich coming into the area.” Pete sets down his mug and looks at you. “Jake says you are always looking for information.”

“For a first time informant I usually pay them after the job is done.” He surveys you from across the table. “I could make an exception for you.”

“No, I want in on the job.” His eyebrows raise at your determined expression. “In for a penny, in for a pound.” You might as well go for the big score. A larger take could set you up in comfort. You could change your name and claim to be a widow. You could go back east or further west; Canada or Mexico would be safe. Plans and ideas were springing to life in your mind. “I’m already wanted.”

“Have you ever robbed someone before?” It was a valid question. “Other than that horse you got caught taking.” You shook your head mutely. When Pete went to open his mouth you quickly interjected.

“I’ve stolen other things, I was a pickpocket,” there is an earnest expression on your face. “Just not with guns.” You needed to be in on this job, needed the money. He sighs and you can feel his faith in you slipping away. “I can do this.”

You sit down across from him. “Let me do this Pete.” You stare at your clasped hands and feel like you are begging. Shifting your posture so your arms are crossed in front of you, you rest your elbows on the table. “It’s a stage, William Roberts, my old boss, is getting married and his bride-to-be is traveling by stagecoach to Pine Creek.”

“You want to rob some poor woman on her way to be wed?”

You shake your head. “I don’t care why she is traveling, she’s wealthy. Roberts likes to brag about how big her dowry is and how much money she is going to be bringing into the marriage.”

“How much money would she have?” Pete still had a dubious expression. “Banks can wire money between people these days over long distances.

“That's the thing. Roberts was always complaining about how his fiance's father didn’t trust banks and insisted on bringing the dowry in cash.” The promise of a big payday sparked in Pete’s eyes and a devilish smile began to curl his lips.

“A sentiment that, after our little bank robbery, I’m sure Mr. Roberts would share.” Pete gazed at you in thought for a moment before he broke his silence. “Gang takes half of the take, some of that goes to Penny, some for the emergency fund, and all people on the job split the other half of the profits.” It made sense, Penny did say she got a cut.

“I’ll talk to Hangman, he’ll run the job with you.”

“I was thinking–”

“It’s non negotiable.” Pete’s voice is curt in a way you haven't heard from him before. “He’s got the most experience with stages, you go with him or you don’t go at all.”

Nodding, you clench your jaw mulishly. Spending more time with Jake was not what you had in mind. You just knew he was going to complain the whole time about having to help you get the money to replace the hat.

When you turn to go Pete stops you. “Get some breakfast.” He motions to a pot of oatmeal on the stove warming. You get a bowl and load it up with as much brown sugar as you can stand and sit across from him. “Glad to see you’re still eating porridge.” You glare and shovel a large spoonful into your mouth, chewing obnoxiously. Laughing, Pete drains his coffee before heading up the stairs.

– – –

Later you are able to wash your clothing and hang it on a line out back to dry. You only have the blue dress which doesn’t seem suitable for robbing. Maybe you will be able to borrow some clothes from Natasha, pants might be better. You could offer to do her laundry in exchange.

You watch your clothes blowing in the wind from the small window in your room. Pete said he would talk to Jake and you are just about to go find him when the man in question barges into your room. You survey him with raised eyebrows. “You know, knocking’s nice.”

“What?” he glances around the room, eyes flitting over the bed before his gaze lands on you and a faint blush colours his cheeks. “Oh, right. Nevermind that, Pete says you know of a stage with rich passengers.” He quickly sits across from you. “Tell me everything you know.”

“My old boss, Roberts, is getting married to an heiress from back east, new money but, like Roberts, her father has intentions for higher office and he needs connections around the country.”

“You think she will be traveling with her dowry?” Jake leans back in his chair.

“Yeah, $10,000 cash.” His eyebrows rise at the amount. “Plus any jewelry she might have on her. She is supposed to arrive on the stagecoach that gets into Pine Creek next Friday.” Butterflies fill your stomach as Jake nods in understanding. This is really happening.

“I can work with this.” Dimples cut into his cheeks as his green eyes sparkle down at you. “This might be a very lucrative payday for the both of us.” He stands and makes his way to the door and you scramble after him.

“Wait! What’s the plan? What clothes do I need? Do I need a horse? I don’t own a gun.” Jake pauses at the door, a look of confusion on his face.

“You’re not coming.” He says matter of factly. “I’ll get Phoenix and Bob to help, You’ll get 5%.” The door is halfway open when you slam it shut.

“That’s my lead, Jake.” Arms crossed, you wedge yourself between Jake and the door, leaning back to keep it firmly closed. The butterflies are gone, replaced with a white hot anger directed at the man in front of you.

“You’ve never robbed a stage before.” He leans in, towering over you. “I’m not taking some greenhorn out on her first robbery so you can play at being an outlaw.”

His hand brushes past you as he jerks open the door behind you, flinging you forward into his chest with a soft cry. Your body alights with sensation at being pressed against him but you quickly shove him back and resume your position in front of the door, this time with your hands clasped behind you over the door knob. Your fingers tingle at the memory of the warmth of his chest as you clutch the cool metal.

“You leave me behind, I'll send a telegram of what you plan on doing.” You glare up at him, heart pounding. His eyes are hard as they flick between yours, the easy grin and dimples you have come to appreciate are gone. It is a long moment before either of you say anything.

“You would sell us out?” There is an edge of danger in his voice. He steps closer and you feel a tendril of apprehension run down your spine at the feel of his hard chest brushing against yours.

“Only if you steal my robbery.” Your confidence crumbles internally but you raise your chin a little to keep looking him in the eye. There is a line of respect between outlaws, honor among thieves and all, and you fear you have crossed it by threatening to go to the authorities. When you bite your lip in uncertainty his eyes leave yours to fix on your lips.

When his eyes return to yours and there is heat in them. “Remember what you said earlier about there always being a choice, and not liking either of the options?” You nod, still standing firm. He leans forward and you can feel his breath brushing over your neck as he whispers in your ear. “I don’t like the option where you come with me.”

“And I don’t like the option where you leave me behind.” You curse the breathless quality of your voice. He leans back with a sigh, eyes searching your face. He must find what he is looking for because he steps back and the tension between you breaks.

“If you’re coming you will do everything I say without argument, is that clear?” His expression is still serious but he has lost the hard look he had on his face earlier.

“Crystal.” Jake nods in assent and you breathe a sigh of relief. The tension leaves your frame and you collapse back into the door.

Jake relaxes as well and you can see a slight grin playing across his lips and you feel the corners of your mouth turn up in response. You stand there staring at each other before Jake finally breaks the silence. “Are you going to move out of the way or do I have to crawl out the window?”

Heat floods your face and you step aside. “I should make you climb out the window,” you mutter. The dimples are back in full force as Jake winks before closing the door behind him.

#jake seresin #jake hangman seresin #jake hangman x reader #jake seresin/reader #jake seresin x reader #hangman #hangman/reader #topgun maverick #western!au

101 notes · View notes

dol-doll · 2 years

Text

Cw: Knife play, M!Kylar, carving/branding (minor), nipple clamps (one mention), just Kylar so that's the biggest tw (affectionate), mindbreak

M!Kylar... My gremlin baby boy, god I love him so much, he slowly breaks you, he wants the best for you, and only he can give you the best, he'll take care of you, you'll let him right? If you do, he'll give you the world, or at least try to.

Worshipping you day and night, giving you whatever you want, even if he has to steal it, makes you wear pretty maid dresses and cat ears, you'll never leave now right? He'll take care of everything, don't you worry your pretty little head, Bailey isn't your concern anymore alright? He'd make sure that the two of you get married as soon as possible, giving you a pretty ring and making it a mission to always cum in you, wanting to have kids, no matter whether biological or adopted he wants a family with you, the perfect person in his eyes.

I headcanon that in an year or two he'd somehow have enough money to move out (don't ask how) and he'd take you with him, he'd help around the house from time to time but he'd want you to be a house spouse, letting him provide for you instead. I truly believe he'd find a job that he can mostly work at from home, with you under his desk being his little cockwarmer, with your lips wrapped around his thick, long cock. He'd thrust in from time to time but would mostly want you to just sit there as he continues typing away on his computer, your head laying on his thigh as he pets your hair ocassionally, looking at you with so much adoration in his eyes that you'd want to look away.

There won't be a single night where you wouldn't be slumped on the bed, your body weak and tired as he keeps ploughing into you, calling you an angel, a gift for him from the universe, it never fails to surprise you the amount of energy and stamina his body has as he keeps going round after round. He'd play with your nipples, sucking and biting them as he holds your hand and looks up at you to see your face twist in pain or pleasure.

But trust me when I say, he truly is sadistic and rotten to the very core. You wouldn't have to do much to get him jealous, you could just look at someone for a second and he'd take you home, pushing you onto the bed with a knife in his hand as he instructs you to strip and lay down, before he bonds your hands and legs to the bed, as you're spread apart, no part of you being hidden from his lecherous gaze anymore. If pushed too far, he'd carve a small 'K' in the back of your thigh, your cries like music to his ears as he sees the red spill from the wound, before licking at it with such tenderness that if love could heal physical wounds, the K would probably not be visible anymore. He'd overstimulate you, making you cum again and again and again without using his cock on you even if you beg for it, he wants to cave but he has to teach you a lesson, you understand it right? You're his baby, you get it right? He promises to reward you soon because of how good you've been. He'd put clamps on your nipples pulling at them everytime you ask him to fuck you.

Once he thinks you've been punished enough, he'd untie you, takes off everything, and asks you if you still want him to fuck you after all that, and when you nod weakly, he's onto you instantly. Pushing in slowly, thrusting deep and hard while placing kisses down your neck, sucking and biting hickies onto your collarbones and chest while praising you. "You're so good to me you know that? And all mine, so perfect, so pretty, my precious angel" he'd say just before he reaches his peak, sheathing himself into you completely, he'd fill you up, and would hold you close, staying in you as he grows soft, keeping you plugged so that you done leak out, wanting to cuddle and cockwarm while running his fingers through your hair and telling you how well you did and how proud of you he is.

He makes you crave his love, his validation, his protection, makes you crave everything he has to give, even his disapproval at times when you want him to be rougher with you. He molds you and your life in a way where it revolves around him <3

#dol #dol x reader #degrees of lewdity x reader #degrees of lewdity #kylar the loner #kylar the loner x reader

288 notes · View notes

khunvegas · 1 year

Note

Have you/could you make a list of your favorite/best bl kisses?

i feel honored that someone asked me this 😩 omg ok. this is gonna be the longest post ever.

here's my list of the best bl kisses with a few of my favorites. in my own personal opinion.

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

●dark blue kiss

i think p'aof went very galaxy brain with the idea of an underwater kiss and for that, he is very valid because it's a very iconic kiss. the show itself could have had some work but then again, it was 2018. everything was wrong back then.

● still 2gether

NOW i talk a lot of shit about this one AND WITH GOOD REASONS. HOWEVER, gosh mantype stole the show for me WITH ONE SINGLE KISS. imagine that. it was groundbreaking FOR ME. too bad we will never gonna see them together again.

● 2 moons 2

this was the only time joong knew how to kiss. no further explanation.

● history 2: crossing the line

even though this whole scene was a dream, it was still a marvelous experience and for someone (me) that was just starting into this bl bs, this one sealed the deal for me.

● history 3: make our days count

this whole scene... you just had to be there. also they had the most happiest ending ever. for sure for sure.

● history 3: trapped

what can i say? taiwan always put their money in those workshops. their plots might be a little outta pocket with the incest and the getting killed because of some salt but i can always trust them to put on a show.

● manner of death

i have no explanations WHY this is a favorite. it's just too good. and it's not only their porn-level kisses, the show itself was a masterpiece. if no one got me, i know maxtul got me. manifesting a show with them again.

●lovely writer

the show itself didn't click with me. too many sound effects and some of the characters were very annoying to me. HOWEVER, the food was very tasteful. let's see it again.

● a tale of thousand stars

i really debated between this one and the final kiss but i had to choose this one because i feel this one is more meaningful. it was a promise that they would see each other again and i'm a sucker for promises. still, p'aof lost some points for giving us one single actual kiss for the very last minute.

● like in the movies

picture this. we are in the middle of a pandemic, unemployed, some places are starting to open back up, thailand is in shambles so they can't release anything. enter the philippines with the vision of starting business with the bl industry and they release this masterpiece. it was such a good show and they had the material for a season 2 but sadly, their time is over. 10/10 tho.

● we best love: no.1 for you

gosh, taiwan. you will always be the best.

this was a very emotional scene and they truly deliver with the kiss and the tears and the bridge. it was all 10/10

● bad buddy

I MEAN, DO I EVEN HAVE TO EXPLAIN??? like damn. now i do have some complaints here and there but this kiss right here??? it was such an experience. like the girlies that watched this while it was airing know how it felt because not a lot of people were prepared for how ep 5 would leave the whole fandom in shambles. the confession plus the kiss PLUS how it ended??? emotional damage 100. incredible.

●enchante

LISTEN!!! YOU BETTER LISTEN!!!! because these bitches, as rookies as they were, DELIVERED. see because even though enchante was a flop in terms of views and gmmtv never giving them an inch of promotion, my kings ate each other on camera and gave me the most toe-curling kiss ever. i don't care if you thought the plot was silly or you want to act funny and say forcebook look related, whatever that means, they did what needed to be done. end of discussion.

●not me

"but offgun had better kisses!!!!111!!!" i don't care about any of that. i came here because babygirl first is a homie hopper and he was going to kiss another man on camera.

the show itself was really good, a little bit draggy towards the end (and there were some Things with some characters that the fans weren't that happy with) but overall, they put on a great performance. HOWEVER, danyok will forever be famous. a tragedy too.

●to my star

GOSH. the originals. the men that weren't afraid of success. see because up until this point, kbls were a flop in terms of kisses (some even in plot) and their first kiss was a flop too BUT THEN this final scene came and robbed me at gunpoint. i was so sure we would never get a proper kiss AND THE BITCHES CAME AND SLAYED ME. not only they gave me a proper meal, it lasted for hours. i was left in shambles. 14569722/10.

●to my star 2

i have to put both scenes because what the fuck. I MEAN, WHAT THE FUCK MAN???

there's absolutely nothing i can say but enjoy??? i guess??? they said "oh, the industry is a flop. let us fix it" AND THEY DID... now the show itself had its ups and downs; a lot of people didn't like how it was made and how the plot was going; it was devastation after devastation and no one could see the light at the end of the tunnel. personally, if they had done the plot a little different, a lot more people would have been happier, including me. but that doesn't take away the fact that they killed it, amazing performance and the kisses speak for itself.

● my secret love

now was this show groundbreaking? no. in reality, it was more of the same stuff we all have seen but the catch with this one is that the acting is good enough and the plot is engaging, and you can actually see that some actions lead to repercussions in the show. however, i do have to talk about these two. they stole the show and they weren't even the main couple and my theory is that because they didn't have enough screentime, they decided to go all out with their scenes and god, what a time. this was just the beginning of this scene btw, there's more to it.

● golden blood

this one goes to show that sometimes you just need vibes, exceptionally good chemistry, some silly characters and a small mukbang. golden blood was a disaster in like everything, so when i tell you i stayed for them, i'm serious. they were the only reason i kept watching. the rest? i don't even remember because i skipped most of it.

● cutie pie

see, decisions were made when they filmed this. the show was very silly itself and there were some plotholes that were ultimately overshadowed by zee's tongue. i honestly don't remember much. i just remember the iconic kisses and how tonnam stole every single scene (and that's how he has his lead role now). also perth. but those workshops came through because all four of them ate this (and each other).

● cutie pie 2 you

before anyone says something about zeenunew, save it. i watched this long ass advertisement just to get nuersyn crumbs. that's it. i don't even remember how many episodes it had but it was so unnecessary. HOWEVER, tutoryim came and gave us the performance of their lives. i have absolutely no complaints with those two. would i ever want a special focused on them? yes, 100%. i also have to add maxnat also had a great performance with the little to no screentime they had. we were living off crumbs, for sure.

● you're my sky

oh, bestie. when i tell you this show made me climb my walls every saturday last year, i'm not kidding. THESE TWO, MY GOD. for the girlies that watched this show, you know what i mean. the tension was OFF THE ROOF. THE WORST PART? open ending. the most toe-curling tension right here just to get a drunken kiss and then NOTHING. the most excruciating 12 weeks.

● don't say no

this show was a wild ride. like, the toxicity surrounding leo and fiat? it was too much and the plot was nonexistent, which it was the point. basically, it was "two best friends in a room, they might kiss" and they did, so what happens next? this is the "next". how they actually act now that they are in a relationship. fiat had a lot of baggage plus being horny. those two fucked like rabbits and NOTHING was left to the imagination. the biggest surprise was smartjames. they had an awful ending but at least we got good food.

●blueming

you know what they say, tms walked so that the other kbls could run and this is a prime example. then again, it's the same director, so there's a standard these shows need to have and damn, i think they exceeded. now, the show was very different from the manhwa but it was still a good show enough that there might be season 2.

● kissable lips

compared to some of this list, this kiss is not even that good. HOWEVER, in the context of kbls, it was really memorable, especially when you have watched the show and the only thing that you can remember is that one of them was a vampire and died but died after having a good fuck... honestly, they had $5 and a dream and they made it work.

●cherry blossom after winter

the dream kisses are always the best ones.

this was a very cute show overall and i think it had the first m|m couple that gets engaged with a ring and everything in a kbl. very iconic, if you ask me. very brave too.

●cupid's last wish

listen, i'm not a fan of the body swapping trope but at least they went original with this one (at least no one died... side eyeing the shipper). and i'm pretty sure the director told earthmix to go wild with this one. pretty sure it was the pent up energy from atots. what a performance. a think there are a few kisses from this show. great food.

and that's it because tumblr only allows 30 pictures per post, so if you want part 2, let me know. i still have some that i can add.

80 notes · View notes

doppel-drop-distance · 8 months

Text

The Dubiously Needed, Unnecessarily Extensive Magia Record Stat Sheet Guide (Rarity)

This is a bit of a weird one to start with. Rarity…has absolutely no influence on a character’s canonical strength. It is a purely gacha-based mechanic, intended to sort characters for a gacha-based purpose. Really, it has no place in an OC guide. It’s not like we’re going to be pumping out mods with our own OCs tomorrow. (Though, if we do that, hit me up, I would be so down.)

However…a character’s rarity does influence a unit’s stats. So I felt like it would be wrong of me not to mention it. A 2⋆ unit and a 3⋆ unit with the same type and growth type will have different stats and that can be disorienting. So, here’s a quick overview.

A character’s base rarity can be anything from ⋆ to ⋆⋆⋆⋆. 1 ⋆ characters are generally not included in the gacha and are instead given out for free or bought in an event shop. 2 ⋆ and 3 ⋆ characters can be either bought in an event shop or rolled in the gacha. 4 ⋆ characters are almost always gacha-exclusive. In this context, stars determine a character’s rarity.

The more stars a character has, the stronger their base stats are. This can be evened out to some degree with Awakening, where any character can be raised up to 5 ⋆ with the stats to match. However, a character with a higher rarity will always have a higher stat total than a character with a lower rarity.

To give you an example, here are two units of two different rarities, but the same element, type, and growth type, at maximum Awakening. Keep in mind that this is without memoria, Spirit Enhancement or Attribute Enhancement.

Tsuruno Yui (2⋆, Flame, Magia Type, ATTACK Growth Type)

HP: 18,927

ATK: 8,552

DEF: 6,056

Touka Satomi (4⋆, Flame, Magia Type, ATTACK Growth Type)

HP: 21,019

ATK: 9,803

DEF: 6,072

Though Tsuruno and Touka both have Attack-focused stats, it is Touka with the higher Attack stat, as she has the higher rarity. She also has higher HP and slightly higher Defense.

What does this mean for character creation? Uh…well, it could mean something, or it could mean nothing. It really depends on how specific you want to be with your stat totals.

How you decide your characters’ rarity is totally up to you. You could rank them lowest to highest, based on their level of skill. Or you could make them all 4⋆ because you love them! This is totally valid! I have done the same thing many times.

As a final note, there is some difference between unlimited and limited 4⋆. This is another purely gacha-based designation. Unlimited characters can be pulled on any banner at any time, while limited characters are only available on a banner for a specified period. This does not matter for us. What DOES matter is that limited characters often have better stats than unlimited characters, because gacha games gotta make that money. Example part 2!

Ren Isuzu (4⋆, Dark, Magia Type, BALANCE Growth Type)

HP: 21,420

ATK: 9,128

DEF: 6,844

Kanagi Izumi - Vampire ver. (4⋆, Dark, Magia Type, BALANCE Growth Type)

HP: 22,524

ATK: 10,004

DEF: 7,016

As you can see, while Ren and Vampire Kanagi are both 4⋆, Vampire Kanagi has the higher total in each stat.

Not all of these differences are significant (Ren and Vampire Kanagi have like a 200-point difference in their Defense stats), but I wanted to mention it for any further discrepancies. Again, whether this matters to you or not is your own personal interpretation! I promise, nobody is going to yell at you if your unlimited OC’s ATK stat is 20 points past the unlimited threshold. They aren’t characters you can actually roll for, so balance is a meaningless concept and we're all just here to have fun!

#magia record #droppel's magia record stat sheet guide

8 notes · View notes

ode-to-spring · 2 years

Text

hello!! ive seen a lot about the recent discourse on sumeru and all it's characters, most especially kusanali nowadays, and felt the need to clear some things up for my own peace of mind. though i should put a disclaimer that i'm in no way from any of the countries or cultures sumeru was originaly intended to represent, though i am a POC who knows what colorism, orientalism, and blatant lack of representation feels like. if anyone from the real cultures finds something wrong in whatever i say, please point it out and educate me so i can adjust! I might not be in a place to speak and have a very little platform, but I promise you, a few minutes of research and a little empathy can go a very long way.

cw for the topics i mentioned above (orientalism, colorism, subtle racism, etc etc.) very long discussion utc!

A common excuse I see people making for aspects of Kusanali's design (her skin color, her size, etc.) is that she's allegedly based off of Kusanali Jataka, from a Buddhist collection of poems as a fairy living in a clump of grass. This much is true, she very much is named after that, and the nature-esque inspiration matches up. However, that changes when many fans on tiktok, twitter, etc. have been claiming the original poem to mention that Kusanali Jataka had "skin as pale as the light of the moon."

This specific description pertains to an entirely different diety, one going all the way to Hinduism backgrounds. She who that quote was originally used for is known as Sarswati, the Hindu goddess of knowledge, wisdom, art, speech, music, aesthetics, and learning. For the record, here is what common portrayals of her look like, as well as the description of her appearance:

See? Sound familiar? To compare, here is what a portrayal of Kusanali Jataka looks like:

These two very separate dieties were definitely mixed up, most likely in a way to simply excuse how utterly far away the dendro archon looks from the real life people her country is meant to represent. Previously we've had Zhongli and Ei, a dragon accurate to real Chinese myths, and a samurai with cultural ties even to her name, her titles, and other various inspirations such as from the Vision Hunt Decree. Yunjin proves that Hoyoverse is capable of making accurate and in depth research of real life cultural aspects. Kusanali, however, has no obvious cultural background to her design except her name and perhaps the quote of "Let great and small." Other than that? You could've told me that she's just another kid from Mondstadt and I'd believe you entirely.

It's one thing to like a characters design, but another thing to entirely erase the problems there are with representation, among other things. The problem in her is not that she has a child model, it's that she, as Sumeru's archon, is meant to represent their whole country, but at the same time she has no indications of references to SWANA or ME culture what so ever.

To add onto that, the argument of "but im from this race and im pale" is not valid at all, because just because you or your family or friends are not, doesn't mean the rest of your people don't either. In my country, we were taught as kids to bathe with some kind of papaya whitening soap, not to stay in the sun too long or we'll get tanned, that we need go "stay indoors more to get whiter," and I'm sure this isn't only a problem in mine. The few times that the people of these underrepresented cultures get a chance at the spotlight, the very least Hoyoverse can do when they'll make truckloads of money from them either way is to do it right. They deserve that much.

Hoyoverse is a multi million dollar company that is perfectly capable of making designs that aren't stereotypical and all lightskin if not paper white. They honestly dug their own grave by making the exact mistake many have made before when it comes to representation specifically in these regions, such as Aladdin, where they threw many different and diverse cultures together and thought it would end up nicely without either five different things happening at once, or an entirely whitewashed version of everything. They should not be able to cherrypick and make money out of whatever bits of these cultures they want only to leave out the outward appearances of the people that they belong to. That is colorism.

I am making this post to at least try to raise awareness on the misinformation going around about Kusanali, as well as shed light on how condescending all the pale and at most light brown characters feel as a POC. That said, however, I can't speak for the people from South Asia/North Africa/Middle East on this issue, and therefore if you have time I'm *begging* you to listen to what they have to say. If you're from those cultures and don't have any problems with Sumeru, thats okay! But it doesn't mean that everyone else doesn't either. If you're white or from a different culture and are therefore unaffected by all of this? If you want to ignore, don't say a word. Don't shut the voices of the POC that should be in the spotlight in the first place. But if you want to help? Do your research. Uplift the voices of those who are affected. Listen to what they have to say. Orientalism and colorism aren't easy topics to be brushed off easily, and they have every right to be reacting in opposition to what Hoyoverse currently has to offer.

If you're interested in what I've just mentioned, here are a few links I've found of people from these cultures that you should consider checking out ::

https://twitter.com/dorobor1/status/1553151372308135938?t=QfJI9jXKDVvPO86eqGgyGw&s=19

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSR2pcbVC/?k=1

https://twitter.com/dailynahida/status/1538609206621790209?t=JRPUQ5Z8kn_nJJ2McShbag&s=19

https://twitter.com/Altochameleon/status/1553623114650509313?t=nDhSJyZ167HqP_eR4byqEg&s=19

And many more! So many SWANA & ME people are speaking up about this but get drowned out in all the arguing when they are the ones in the right. The goal isn't to speak over them, it's to let their words be heard. So please, stop the unnecessary ignorance and disrespect in every aspect of all that's going on with the discourse going around about this topic. It isn't hard to be respectful, it isn't hard to research, it isn't hard to be decent human beings.

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSR2pT61E/?k=1

https://twitter.com/Bitanees/status/1562903344553013252?t=CyBbIxBG3IFGWM98bZYADw&s=19

#genshin impact #genshin impact sumeru #genshin sumeru #genshin kusanali #genshin impact kusanali #genshin nahida #genshin impact nahida #genshin tighnari #genshin impact tighnari #genshin cyno #genshin impact cyno #genshin dehya #genshin impacy dehya #genshin nilou #genshin impact nilou

91 notes · View notes

dogpelts-art · 8 months

Text

trigger warning: sexual assault (child sexual assault, animal child rape, grooming), mass harassment, zoophilia mention, beastiality mention, sexual nudity mention, self destructive behaviours

thank you everyone who sincerely wished for me to get help! fortunately i am already engaged with several therapists. i am thankful to the select few people who reached out & let me talk through everything with them, and helped me realize what was going on. this all led to me being able to speak about it with my support system and start working through my years of online exposure, break out of the cycle of harmful sexual behavior towards myself, learn to unpack why i felt the need to continue that unhealthy cycle and work on understanding the long term effects of animal on child rape, CSA, grooming, etc had on my hypersexuality, online presence and relationships.

turns out being dehumanized through years of sexual abuse and portraying those feelings by drawing yourself as a dog being sexually tortured is not normal behavior! crazy

trying to explore these very complex feelings through art ended with me, once again, exposing myself, my past trauma and my body to others. this is a vicious cycle and i now know just how dangerous, common, yet unspoken about the victimization cycle is for survivors of csa. this is why i won’t be apologizing for fleeing. it was the safest thing for me to do, not just because of some angry people on twitter, but from actual predators i was engaged with. i was in no state to speak up about everything considering all this entails.

in regards to the one zoophile i followed, they had ΘΔζ in their display name. from my understanding the first two are therian symbols (?) and i assumed the third was too. i assure you i shared the shock everyone else had when i realized what it actually meant. taking the time to actually look through shit & when i saw that person fantasizing about committing beastiality in their tweets, the realization hit that i was interacting with people who might’ve been harming real animals, it made me sick to my fucking stomach and thankfully changed my entire view on the situation. you are of course free to believe what you want, but i personally think it’s fucking insane that because of this mistake i am being made out to be someone who “actively endorses animal cruelty and rape”. i can promise you i’d have offed myself long ago if that was the case. i am horrified enough at myself for engaging in feral art at any point in my life but please know i do not align at all with people who wish harm or sexual acts on animals.

as much as i believe i was influenced during all this, i certainly did make decisions to make situations worse, including an attempt to make money, and i take full responsibility for that. i am sincerely sorry for any harm caused. none of this should have happened in the first place and it shouldn't have spiraled so far.

to reiterate and make clear: my art was not real and was not intended to represent reality. it was not meant to represent any harm or sexual acts being done to actual animals. it was not made to encourage zoophilia or acts of beastiality, nor did it represent my personal feelings towards animals. everything depicted was a character meant to represent parts of myself and used as a way to express feelings of dehumanization and to reclaim traumatic experiences. i am now of the understanding it was entirely wrong, and was unintentionally used by zoophiles. i am extremely sorry.

i promise you i have heard quite literally every variation of threat or disparage you could possibly make towards me. i wish to say that you are valid in your anger, however, all i ask is no other people get harassed. i have never and will never encourage hate speech of any kind, no matter what side you’re on.

the original callout itself inherently caused further harm to myself and others. i beg you to stop sending minors explicit porn and directing them to nsfw accounts. no drama is worth endangering more people.

i am putting hard limits on my future online presence and i simply won’t be further engaging with the furry community. however, art is something i am still passionate about and is my main source of income, so i am working on making that a safe activity for myself. my social media will be monitored with help from my disability support workers to help me with my muted fear response and lack of perception concerning safety & danger. i will not be personally interacting or messaging anyone, simply just using my platform to post illustrations. i am focusing on recovery, and you can choose to respect that or not. i know the harassment is something i will just have to live with, but know i will try not to be engaging with it for my own safety.

—

if you’ve experienced any form of sexual assault as a child, please know you have a higher risk of revictimization. protect yourself. learn from my mistakes. access resources, speak to trusted adults. follow your gut. being led to seeing yourself as an inhuman animal and object can be incredibly dangerous. you don’t deserve to feel that way. don’t let people treat you as such.

for those of you who are genuinely trying to do the right thing and need an outlet for your anger — rather than doxxing, threatening and sending mass harrassment to already at risk individuals, i encourage you to utilize your time, skill sets and donations to support your local animal welfare officers. consider joining animal protection forces. report evidence of occurring animal abuse to authorities.

thanks for reading.

#dogpelts

4 notes · View notes

bidisaster-peanut-romano · 1 year

Note

I know that nobody even knows about this ship, but I see a potential in Parker/Vance. What are your thoughts on it?

hi you nonnie!! you came to the right place (hopefully? lmao just in case /lj), we do love rarepairs here

also i hope you won't mind if i do this outside of the ship ask meme format (but i pinky promise that if you want me to you can just send another anon and u can consider it done!), but it is the first time that i consider this ship and i really want to put my thoughts in a proper order!!

it is true it's not quite popular; i think i only spotted it in the wild... sometime this summer? but you are so right, there is some potential there!!

so, to set the premises- on one hand, we have parker, who cares so deeply about the people he loves, much too deeply for his own good; especially since in the context he grew up in it is almost normal to exploit people, to value your own relationship with money. he's so terribly insecure, probably has a heart too big for his body and sometimes wonders if he's the problem (he isn't for the record he's my baby im adopting him okay)

and on the other hand, we have vance; restless, passionate, always looking for the next adventure. always looking for something to keep his mind occupied, almost; it's that he can't take care of himself for his own life, so he just does what he can to stay afloat, doing his best to ride the waves of his mind rather than drowning to them. when he gives his heart, he gives it whole, so he's learned to be careful to keep it to himself as much as he can, only to few chosen people.

now, what happens when you put them together. first of all, hwile they both have their reservations about respectively working class and upper class people, i think they both can put them aside when matters of feelings are on the table. in fact, the thing is that they both have this huge amount of love to give, but this...caution about doing it. but they need- for starters, someone who doesn't judge them on superficial matters (the money/the tough attitude). as we said, check! then parker needs someone who can make him feel valid, who can see his real qualities and show him too, while vance needs someone who cares enough about him to stop him from destroying himself and putting himself in danger. also check!

this is potentially such a cute ship!! thank you for bringing it to my attention nonnie, they could be sooo precious and i am already having thoughts about them. i'm sincerely grateful <3

#for real!! i never played around with them but it has sooo much potential. so much food for brain #if you by any chance have already other thoughts im always oppen to listening!! at this point you got me curious!!#bully #bully scholarship edition #canis canem edit #vance medici #parker ogilvie #odyposts

12 notes · View notes

harleyglenn · 1 year

Text

It’s as if I’ve entered a bubble at the sight of a

welcome sign . Departing with cars I’ve seen

before . Greeted with picket fences and

plain , more plain and equal amounts of cold

and heat at night That’s really confusing for me ,

that I’m somewhere else . Im a subject going

to the top of hills with dead brush and

monuments that I’ve made up in memory for

fondness of memory . The Hills are only lit

by everything below and iPhone camera(s) .

Snakes talk to boys , they say I’m in a higher

place than a girl who’s been broken so

many times . Boys and girls run in corn fields ,

holding and chanting , making new ceremonies .

All of us do not get to celebrate often anymore

and time

doesn’t stand this still this often . I’m aware of

blood

rushing to my brain and perfume and

pheromone . I’m aware in this moment I’m

everything I want to be but , nothing to a girl

and opportunity to a snake . A serpentine

will always question worth and ask why ? He

will advise you to assert dominance and

manipulate disguised as an offer of control

even if these are things you do not desire .

In the middle of a desert , with no sight

of life in any direction , the good man walks in

the direction meant only for him . He cannot

be accompanied by those he loves or wishes

to be accompanied by . You’ll notice crows

perched on light posts and unfamiliar fog , fog

in desire , lust , moral , friendship , respect, brain.

There are many signs that boys choose to

ignore in hope things go back to ways they were .

A serpent near a church on a hill sees ceremony ,

and he promises change . He promises money

good sex and someone to do drugs with …

a good dancer and potential for backing

where there wasn’t any . Hurt

eyes you can do nothing about even when they

are screaming at you . Prison bars with gold in

reach

that you can only touch with the tips of your

fingers with your ear to the pavement . What’s

true is you’ll get nothing but what you give ,

this overpass , the raven , the bartender , the

passing irrigation systems have their own

agendas . I’ve been told by a snake in the mirror

I deserve better . The boy should own more

things , he suffered in this town , he shouldn’t

have to pay taxes , or for gas and food . Why

should he suffer and not a figurative snake ,

or ghosts of a past that no one will ever know ?

On arrival a table is set and my new favorite

books are scattered , to remind myself to read

them . I’m not a nervous person I should say,

and sit down at this table is what I should do .

Or maybe you take chances in life . Im content

with this story so far , a girl , nor a snake , nor

a raven, nor a caffeine overdose could interrupt

how I feel at this moment . The snake

acknowledges a boy’s existence , the girl

spins in fields far away with the boy only hanging

on by the strength of their fingers . A intrusive

thought always comes knocking for us .

From the outside looking in he’s seeing a

foundation meant to be built on , a

haunted shrine to pray and be observed .

A validation of existence it is to be abused and

tossed out . Confusion for boys only stop when

they are wrong , when aggression neither

proactivity solve problems . It’s a humble

resting place only to be thwarted by language

that doesn’t matter and lack of self worth .

Saying nothing at all is a powerful thing people

in this town know nothing about . They always

want to fill in the gaps how they see fit .

Checking for everything made you anticipate

something , laying in a bed made you inclined

to look up for once . Why is this happening

to you ? Isn’t there anything I could do ? And for

how long til I can be whole again , for things to

feel right again ? It all serves as memorabilia

on a shelf in a dungeon that only paralyzes me

with abundance of decisions .

I would soon be a bird again , without

a cigarette or occasional bump that usually

kills the average bird .

9 notes · View notes

sureuncertainty · 9 months

Text

vent post ahead, cw for discussion of covid, anxiety and morality based OCD:

so my covid symptoms have almost completely resolved (I just have a lingering cough at this point) but I'm still testing positive on a rapid test (with a really dark line) so I'm extremely stressed about going back to work in a few days AND about the fact that I'm going out with my family tonight and tomorrow for my siblings' last days here, bc of how much they've been pressuring me.

as for work, i literally cannot NOT go back in to work i've already lost so much money and they won't let me stay out anymore anyway because their rule is 5 days after your symptoms start you go back and just wear a mask. and obviously i'll wear a mask but like. i feel so horrible about it. and as for going out with my family, they spent hundreds of dollars to fly down here and I promised them i'd get them into the parks and spend time with them and they've already been pressuring me a lot to do that the past couple of days and I was able to put my foot down then bc I still had symptoms but now that my symptoms are basically gone they won't accept 'am still testing positive' as a valid reason to not go out. and I just can't have that argument with them, not after the week I've had

so i keep going back and forth between 'i'm the worst person in the world for going back to my life before i have a negative covid test' and 'it's not my fault that there is literally no guidance anymore particularly regarding the new variant and everyone else has decided they literally don't care and there is no protection or safeguards to ALLOW me to keep isolating past five days like I did last time I had covid

i want to do my part to protect others as best i can but i feel like I can't (or that I won't and this entire post is just me trying to justify my horrific decisions) and it makes me so so so upset, and it frustrates me how other people get to just go do whatever they want and it doesn't matter, but i'm sitting here sobbing bc i don't wanna infect people but i feel like i have no choice but to go back out and keep living my life, bc of how our society just doesn't care anymore

anyway my brain is being really really mean to me about it (thanks OCD!) but it's extremely hard not to believe my brain that i do deserve to feel like an absolute piece of human garbage for starting to go out again, even if I mask up with a kn95. i'm doing what I can but I feel like I should be doing more, I should be putting my foot down i should be accepting the fact that I won't be able to make rent this month (my job wont' pay me for the time out I already missed so I'm already gonna be super tight this month) I should have done more not to have gotten it in the first place, and yeah. just spiraling about it and i feel like I"m going to live with the horrific guilt of this for the rest of my lif

and i KNOW that part of it is me being mean to myself but my religious and morality ocd is very hard to ignore, especially when it's being backed up by half the people on tumblr and twitter right now who act like if you haven't been isolating since march 2020 you're the literal scum of the fucking earth

i'm overthinking it i know i am sorry to make anyone read all this and i'll almost definitely delete it later i just had to get these thoughts out somewhere, thanks for reading

#also I do know that tests can stay positive after you're not contagious anymore but #i don't KNOW and it's better to assume i am. i want to stay home so bad but i feel like i can't #maybe I actually can't or maybe i'm trying to convince myself i don't have a choice when i do have a choice and should be making that choic #win rambles #vent

3 notes · View notes

llitchilitchi · 9 months

Note

to preface this, this is not hate i just kept rambling bc i do feel strongly abt the matter, apologies and feel free to disregard if you'd rather not have discourse on your blog. kick was literally (co) founded by people who felt that twitch's policies and their enforcement against hate speech, slurs, etc (which aren't that great to begin with) were too restrictive. adin ross is a co-owner, or at least he has claimed as much and not been challenged by kick itself. that platform has a userbase that absolutely would harass the kind of people in sapnap's audience, so being in his chat or watching list really just puts a target on them/us. and kick's moderation tools are infamously poor. like yes, twitch needs to be toppled from its monopoly but not at the cost of giving a larger piece of the proverbial pie to kick of all places. twitch's leadership is interested in profit at the expense of their employees and users both, and they have no interest in protecting or empowering marginalized creators or users. it's shit, but it's ultimately a matter of them not caring, while kick's leadership is actively hostile to marginalized people, and that is going to make a difference in what changes can be made at all. (and about amazon, kick still uses amazon servers and webservices for the actual streaming portion of their platform, so... ) finally, while i absolutely agree that the way twitch treats its streamers, including things like the revenue split, is horrid, quite a bit of sapnap's stated reasoning about things like twitch not offering him a contract (beyond regular partner i guess) or the ceo not knowing him, are kind of... not unreasonable when you look at how much he has actually USED twitch. he's had the sapnap account for years and only streamed three hundred odd hours, even if you add the alt streams it's... not that much. and most of all, it's never really been consistent. he may stream every day for like a week but then its months of nothing outside like, mcc. only going live for special events isn't going to net one a big contract, and there is only so far the fame of being one of the OG dsmp members will get you. i like sapnap, but i think if he truly believes kick's ceos making vague non-specific promises of "making the site better" he is being naive, because what they're looking for it most definitely just another "famous" name (big mcyt internet phenomenon or whatever) and title (nrg co-owner) they can use to advertise their site and legitimize it. going by his paste bin, they played at his ego, and because he felt slighted by twitch (not entirely unfairly given how twitch sucks in supporting and even just appreciating or fairly paying their creators), he took it. trying to migrate his fanbase over to a platform headed and controlled by people who actively hate the people making up most of that fanbase is, frankly, ludicrous. but kick doesn't need his viewers, they need his name, so why would they care? like yes, generally even founders can be replaced eventually, but in this case, these owners also own the crypto gambling bank thing that funds all of kick, so you can't really force them out unless or until the platform can carry itself - and the multiple other attempts at making twitch competitors kind proved that that is hard to achieve. they control the money, they control the platform, and if they want the platform to be a space where they and those like them can be as hateful and bigoted as they want, that's what it's going to be.

these are all very valid points, and I hope my response to this won't come off as a massive BUT in defense of kick

that platform sucks. that much is obvious, and if Ross is really the co-owner that's just all the more reason to feel unsafe to be there. I don't know nearly enough about all their policies and given everything that has been said about them I never really had much interest in looking into them further. it's just another site that is full of toxic hypermasc culture

I won't go and defend Sapnap's decision to move there, either, but I think there is a lot he is not telling us (be it because he is unsure or because of contracts) that made him feel that a move like this is worth it. he isn't stupid, he knows his fanbase is massive and consists of many marginalized groups, so if he thought that kick is better than twitch even with a massively queer and poc fanbase, he must have had his reasons. I doubt he didn't talk this through with Dream, George, his managers etc.

I also don't want to entirely y'know defend twitch with their policies. cause their policies regarding hate speech are absolutely shit. remember when they banned the word "simp"? because people didn't like it? but did absolutely nothing about all the sexual harrassment going on? yeah. I also want to add that my automod that twitch provides is sometimes more than unreliable and censored a regular for saying "long gay cat" in chat. loosening the restrictions will definitely cause damage to those who deserve to be protected the most, but the restrictions did little to protect them to begin with, in my experience.

from what I remember of early twitch it was pretty loose like kick is now. big names coming in might result in tightening policies, even if that comes off as wishful thinking. all platforms ended up doing so, sooner or later.

what I do find a little ridiculous is how people insist that the majority of the userbase of kick are the type to harass Sapnap's fans which, while true, should not matter as much as we make it out to be? I genuinely doubt that they will all immediately flock to Sapnap's channel and spam slurs in chat and be in such overwhelming numbers it will be unbearable. and if it was, and became a regular issue, Sapnap would definitely do something about it. unless the majority of their userbase is likely to open streams of chill people and then target every person in chat

I dunno, it's much ado about nothing so far, we only got an announcement and it's hard to judge how things will play out after the move. it's fair that streamers, especially with as big a following as Sapnap, want better deals out of twitch. I don't know about them but the affiliate deals are not that great and very far from fair. moving to kick might not be the best thing but honestly, what other choice is there other than maybe YouTube?

we're all panicking ahead of time as this fandom has a tendency to, so idk. let's all take a deep breath and see how things play out before jumping into conclusion. it's certainly gonna be a lot less bad than people insist, and worst case scenario I'm sure the vods will be reuploaded to YT by some good samaritan.

#asks #discourse #as for me I dont really watch sap's streams much to begin with his screaming gives me anxiety #and while I dont wanna defend kick nor his choice to go its... well. its up to him in the end #and Id rather wait and see how things play out once he moves #we dont have to throw money at kick nor do we have to watch those streams no ones forcing anyone to do that #Im just glad to see big names leaving twitch maybe george and dream could join the migration but go to YT live instead

4 notes · View notes