#but i can recognize when im jealous and why and i can work on feeling better about it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

spaceycowboys · 1 year

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Oh yeeessss Aemond and his smart girl fighting like that. Consider: she makes him jealous because she wants to get fucked like that, and he knows but can't help himself. So not only is Aemond being extra mean because he's jealous, but he's also taunting her about how he knew this was her plan. How even when she's not being fucked silly, he's still just one step ahead of her. And every time she tries to argue no, it's not like that, he fucks her just a little harder or does something that makes her lose her mind mid-sentence

And oh yeah, it'd be enemies to lovers for Aegon. Aegon thinks she's too smart for him and probably belongs with someone like Aemond who can keep up with her, and he hates it. He especially hates it when her friends imply he's too dumb for her. He's gonna talk down to her as he ruins her, even mocking her some when she struggles to be coherent. Absolutely loses it if she manages an "only for you" at some point. Don't imagine him not hearing at first so he leans in with a "Aaawww, I don't think I heard you" and then gets that response

💄

inserting a read more for smut purposes.

tw: mentions of creampie, dumbification, jealousy, mindbreak (? just incase), lil slut shaming (not in a mean way), i got carried away and gave aegon a daddy kink (im sorry-), also implied sugar daddy aegon

omg no yes because

aemond, while very comfortable and trusting in their relationship is still very, very insecure due to his eyes. not that his sweet, smart girl would EVER do anything to pick at him over his eye or give him any reason to feel as if he is ANY less than enough for her just because he can’t see out of one eye. however, he is easily jealous due to his disability. anyone that looks at her too long is an immediate red flag and he is averting her away from them. her, he trusts. it’s other people that he doesn’t trust. now in my head aemond is two or three years older than her, but they met due to being in some of the same classes, she is stupid smart and in all the upper levels early, on fast track for early graduation, all that jazz. aemond’s done all the partying he wants to do, but he can’t just say no to her when she’s got her lips pouted and eyes all wide, pleading with him to go with her to some stupid party. he goes and stands in the corner while she dances with her girlfriends, and then some guy that he briefly recognizes walks up and stands too close to her, leans in a little too close to her, she doesn’t push him away either. aemond knows what she’s doing, and he won’t admit but it’s working. he drags her back to his place, so he doesn’t have to deal with her stupid roommate, stripping her and working her up really quick before he just starts running his mouth, punctuating every thrust with taunts dipped in honey. telling her he can’t believe she would go to such extremes to make him so jealous, how he knew what she was doing and asking her if she’s stupid enough to think he’d get jealous over that guy. all she can manage is gaspy moans, her mind unable to keep up with his words as his cock repeatedly drills into her cervix in a borderline painful manner. eventually she just begins nodding on with everything he’s saying, and continuously telling him that she’s his stupid slut and she loves him so much. he really likes it when the only words she can manage are whiney little aemond’s and i love you i love you i love you’s.

poor aegon is literally so insecure :(. i imagine this one being another age gap, a bit bigger, fourish years, they met because she was interning at his dad’s company where he “works” (he won’t admit it but it was love at first site for him) so not only is she stupid smart but she’s that much younger than him and stupid smart. she’s just so fucking smart and all her stupid friends are so fucking smart. he really isn’t even sure why she’s with him but he’s too scared to ask her. her friends never hesitate to make little fucking jabs at him though, they can be pretty fucking mean. and he isn’t a bitch, and he definitely dishes it back, but their words still bother him. one night after too many bad jokes using him as the punchline, he really just snaps. sinking into her the second he gets her panties pulled down right at the front door. telling her that she’s his baby, and she is. he babies the fuck out of her in and out of bed, a big giver as long as he gets praise in return (i digress i just want this man as a sugar daddy). anyway so he’s talking down at her, telling her that she’s his stupid little baby, and that she can’t do anything without him, let alone get off. sometimes when he gets like this after the taunting of her friends, he holds her a little closer while he fucks her, asking who the fuck she belongs to while his cock hits her g-spot and pelvis rubs against her clit, knowing she can’t understand what he’s saying, let alone form a coherent sentence. absolutely looses it when she whines out breathy little yours, yours, yours. he nuts on the spot when he says what was that baby, i don’t think i heard you? and the moan he gets back is yours, daddy.

#aegon ii x reader #aegon ii targaryen x reader #aegon smut #aemond x reader #aemond targaryen imagine #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond smut #hotd smut #modern aegon ii #modern aemond #modern house of the dragon au #modern hotd #modern hotd au #hotd x reader #💄anon

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jojikawa · 2 years

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Im sorry but this idea is running around my head everyday, can you do a fic where yoru gets so nasty and asks his s/o to ride him, but s/o is very shy. Oh and him teasing his s/o im sorry this might sound so cringe. Love ur work btw!!!

Thank you so much for requesting me! I’m pretty bad at writing headcanons so naturally, I write full length works. That’s usually why my content output is slow! I hope you enjoy! ❤️

YORU x FEM!READER

Tw// NSFW (literally sex) Fem-bodied reader (breasts and puss), riding, dirty talk (?)

There’s nothing more that Yoru loved than his girlfriend. It was like a breath of fresh air. He was practically dying of boredom in the protocol before you showed up. The ability to push you over the edge with teasing AND still be the only person you could seek refuge. Any normal person would recognize this as controlling…maybe a red flag here and there.

But it’s Yoru. We do not care!

After missions or long training days, Yoru would take you out on his motorcycle. He believed your gentle and reserved nature was a good break from everything. There were just some days where he just felt like up and leaving with you and never coming back. He can’t and this is the closest he could get.

He had a private garden that he would take you to. You loved coming with him here! It was always so warm, no one ever bothered the two of you and it was ideal for quality time. Sometimes there would be picnics but there was mostly fucking. Yoru’s angst translated to a lot of sexual frustration. This made you the perfect fleshlight for him to dump his cum into.

Being timid and shy made you so much more sexier when he had you on your back or on all fours with your ass in the air. He would be balls deep inside of you, thrusting those beautiful moans out of your throat.

His favorite thing was to cream pie you. He loved pulling out just to see it gush out like water from a hose. Though, on no particular day, he felt like being more frisky. He wanted to lewd you so much more and push you to the limit.

He would always bother you instead of relaxing during his breaks. He would whisper lewd comments that would make you blush and shudder. During breakfast, you tried to have a normal morning, choosing to eat with Jett, Phoenix, and Neon. That was when Yoru came to sit next to you. You hadn’t even gotten to kiss him good morning before he felt you up under the table. He leaned in close to your ear before whispering a cold “I’m gonna fuck you later.”

He loved to rub your thighs and ghost his fingers over your clothed pussy. The way your face heated up as you struggled to not let your teammates know what was going on made him feel so alpha. He wanted nothing more than to bury his dick inside you just to make everyone jealous.

The surprise came later after the day ended. He insisted you two spent the night together. You figured he was being needy and just wanted to relieve himself. He always made you feel really good so you never minded having sex often. You wanted it just as much as him but…

“I want you to ride me.”

Your eyes widened as a huge blush covered your face. It was such a lewd act. “R-Ryo-“ You uttered before he began to remove your clothes. His favorite thing before sex was to edge himself off your body. Taking off articles of clothing, little by little.

He pulled you into himself and you crashed into his chest. You held onto him for support as he had his way with you. He pulled your bottoms down, taking in the texture of your panties with the tips of his fingers.

“Mmm. You’re such a naughty girl. I’ve barely touched you and your panties are so wet.” He mocked you like always but it was just to make you intimidated. Intimidation wasn’t always bad, though. His energy turned you on so much. “Pleasure me.” He added as he picked you up. He sat at a desk chair with you on his lap.

“Take it out.”

You obeyed, unbelting his pants and letting him play with your breasts. The nipples hardened and he latched his mouth onto them until he was satisfied. When you took out his dick, it was semi-hard, needing to be stroked to grow bigger. You wrapped your dainty fingers around him before pumping accordingly. You did this until he was big enough. He grabbed your wrist firmly, demanding that you ride him now.

Like an animal, he tore your thin shirt, revealing your perky breasts. Your nipples hardened and waiting to be sucked. Yoru waited patiently as you straddled his lap. You seemed nervous about taking his size. Bullying you had to be the best thing he could do with his time. The shy ones always held the best surprises.

You slowly lowered yourself onto him. The wet sounds of alone made him want to grab your hips and slam you down on his cock…but he waited for you to adjust. His pleasure levels skyrocketed when you began to move. The feeling of your wet pussy squeezing his cock did wonders for him.

Using all your strength, you slammed down on his dick. He moved his hands from your waist to your ass cheeks. He squeezed and spread them well enough to stimulate your pussy without even touching it.

“Fuck, you’re riding me like a slut!” He choked out, causing you to blush. He only described you like that when he was feeling a lot of pleasure. There were many layers to his thought process. He adored having such a timid girlfriend. It was always entertaining to fuck the innocence out of you. In times like this, one thing he wanted was for you to fuck him good—like you were paid to do it.

He was fighting to hold back his urge to cum, refusing to do so until you did first. He could never cum first!

But your face.

Your bouncing tits.

Your fat ass and tight pussy.

“R-Ryo…I-I’m gonna cum.” You said softly, trying to hold back so that agents passing by wouldn’t hear you. Yoru wanted them to hear you, though. He wanted every man to know you belonged to him. No man like Chamber, Sova, Pheonix—Hell. Even the girls wouldn’t stand a chance with how much he could fuck you.

“Then cum.” He commanded. “Cum all over my dick.”

You felt yourself elevate. He moved into the perfect position to thrust himself into you. His balls slapped your bottom and his dick was practical, causing you to lean forward. You wrapped your arms around his head for support. Your breast crashed into his face, causing him to blush madly. You held onto him as he thrust into you aggressively.

“Ryo~! ♡” Despite your attempts to stay quiet, your climax prevailed. You moaned much louder than you wanted to as you squirted all over him. Your insides contracted and caused him to cum too.

Yoru coated your walls with his thick, hot cum. He came so much that it ran down his shaft, getting on his lap and the chair before he could even pull out.

You were covered in a thin layer of glistening sweat with his cum dripping out of your cunt. Your breasts were out and your ass was almost bruised from the copious amounts of groping he has done.

“Fuck…you’re so sexy.”

Without another moment to spare, he grabbed you by your neck. He squeezed lightly with the tips of his fingers and made you look at him. There was lust in your eyes, begging for a round two. He was sure to give it to you too.

The man brought you down and pressed his lips to yours. The kids only went on a moment before he became needy and hungry.

You would be his and his only. Forever.

#Valorant #Valorant x reader #Yoru #Yoru Valorant #valorant imagines #valorant fanfiction #valorant smut #valorant hcs #valorant headcanons #yoru fanfiction #valorant yoru x reader #Yoru imagines #yoru smut #[💌] - request #Yoru headcanons #Yoru x reader

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mina-saiyat · 9 months

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Twice Interactive Story Part 1205

No Problem (Nayeon, Jeongyeon, Momo)

'Welcome to the Incheon International Airport…’

It’s been days after the prince withdraw his proposal, and after the Myoui’s family finally accepted you as Mina’s boyfriend, you feel more stress for acting a perfect boyfriend in front of them. Luckily, they are quite satisfying you, although Mina still needs to stay at Japan for a while, you have to prepare the establishment of the Korean Division of the Myoui, so you back to Korea alone. You still remember how demanding Mina was last night, she sneaks into your room at night and drained you.

‘Pump a baby in Minari… Ah… Give Minari all of your cum, I am your boss now…’ Mina’s moan still occupying your mind, she is really jealous that Jihyo gonna have you as she still in Japan. You spend your time on plane to plan what you should do for the new company with your tired body, Mina’s dad is correct, Mina is just too inexperienced for in charging a regional department, which means most of the job are done by you.

You are too tired from the work and you just wanna back home. But you spot a familiar face, its Nayeon and Jeongyeon, it seems they are going for a travel.

You open up your phone and call Nayeon. "So where are you and Jeongyeon going? On a vacation?" You ask while watching her. You plan on telling her to look in you direction while you tease her.

You could not forget Nayeon’s shocked face when she sees you, she ends the call immediately.

'What are you doing here? Why are you keep stalking around me?’ Nayeon texts you right after she ends the call.

'I didn’t plan anything, it’s just the fortune that we meet today. I just comeback from my business trip.’ You reply and start walking to her. ‘That’s not my plan, really.’ You keep explain to her

'Maybe we can talk a little bit, without Jeongyeon? You know she is kind of…’ You point to a café nearby while looking at her.

'No! How dare you?’

'I am just joking, see you next time, Nayeon.’ You turn around and leave.

Seeing you have offline and really leaving, Nayeon was triggered, she has no way to release her anger that you made after you leave. ‘

Nayeom booms the message to you. ‘Yah! Who are you to treat me like that?’

'I am Im Nayeon, there are many guys that approaching me. Who do you think you are?’

'Why can you bully me like that?’

'Nabong, you ok? You seems so angry.’ Jeongyeon asks.

'Yeah, Jeongyeon. I am ok. I just want to go to toilet, help me keep my bag.’ Nayeon says as she leave her seat.

Seeing Nayeon leaves for toilet, Jeongyeon just sighs, of course she knows Nayeon is going for you, as you are the one who can make Nayeon become so emotional. ‘She takes out the phone and texts you, ‘Why can’t you stop disturbing Nayeon?’

You standing next to the column, and watch Nayeon walking around, you smile, you know she is under your control. You wave at her and tell her follow you, you plan to take her to your car again, a more private place that won’t disturb by others. Your head suddenly feel pain, but you thought you are just less of rest.

Nayeon pretends nothing happens and keep following you, but she stopped right in front of your car. She may not recognize it, as it is a new car you just brought days before your Japan trip, it’s much expensive than the previous one.

This is one of the most significant change that she can witness, when you two first start dating, you could not the rent in Seoul, you are jobless for almost a year after graduation, and the cash balance of your account could barely match her salary.

She has always being next to you and cheering you up during your hardest time, and then you get your first job, your first car and then your first house. It seems she is suffering your toughest time with you, but she cannot enjoy when you succeed.

Nayeon stun for a second, and eventually get on your car.

You secretly lock the door when Nayeon gets in, ‘There would not have a lot of people here, and the glass is transparent, they won’t see what we are doing here.’

‘What do you want again?’ Nayeon still act cold, seems already forgetting what you two talked in the ice cream shop.

"Nothing, really. I just wanted to tease you a little. You're acting so cold. Did you forget our talk last time?" You ask while poking her side. You look at her and pinch her cheek. "Have you been well?"

Nayeon’s face still so cold despite you try to act close. ‘I am well when you are not here, I can do what I wanna do.’ Nayeon starts to loss her temper, and turns around, only leaving her beautiful side face to you.

‘You really wanna like that?’ You tease her again.

‘What?’ Nayeon refuse to comply you, staring at you and say impatiently.

At the moment she finishes, your face in her eyes become much bigger as you approach her quickly, not giving her time to respond.

Nayeon instantly tense her neck and want to get away from you, the hot air you breath can hit on each other’s face, Nayeon’s heart booming like crazy, and she is just so nervous, she wants to yell but she just cant make a sound.

‘If you do what you wanna do, then I will do what I wanna do too.’ You smirk and look right into her eyes, kiss her lips lightly. You feel you are suffering from the pain, but all your focus is on Nayeon now.

Nayeon has no way to escape in the car, so she grabs the handle behind her and tries to leave. But the door was locked.

You keep teasing her’ I have locked the door.’

Seeing she has exposed, her face become more red, and the silence remains in the car. And Nayeon finally explodes. ‘Yah SI Ba’ She starts hitting your body and one of her hand squeezes your waist, making you moan painfully. You two have dated for a long time, so you two know the weakness of each other’s body so well.

You caress her neck, slowly moving one hand down to her chest. You push your tongue past her lips when you feel her resolve weaken. "Just relax, Nayeon. You wanted this before."

Nayeon slightly pushes you away when you are kissing her, you know she just pretending to resist you, if she really oppose it, you know she would bite your tongue at the first moment she could react. You end the kiss quickly, not wanting to ignite her anger, her face is red, but she squeezes your waist again.

‘Yah, why are you squeezing my waist when you angry every time? It hurts.’ You pretends to be poor, trying to ger her sympathy.

‘Then you should not make me angry!’ Nayeon still feels not enough and try to squeeze you again.

You catch her hands and kneel your head‘I am sorry.; You immediately apologize as you don’t want to suffer from the pain again.

Hearing your apologize, Nayeon moves away her hands. You reveal your clothes and heck your waist, there is already bruise on it. You look at Nayeon again, there is one moment that you want to punish her but you hold on.

You try to go on a more comfortable tone, “What if Momo sees it. I should tell her its because of you?’ You keeping looking at your waist and her, trying to tease her.

‘Its none of My business, just because you keep triggering me.’ Nayeon crosser her arm, surprised by your shameless.

‘Yeah, I am sorry.’ You know what she wanna hear so you say sorry again.

‘Are you still mad with me now?’ You ask carefully’ I thought we solve it at the ice cream shop..’

‘I never forgive you.’ Nayeon stares at you directly. ‘You know I don’t want to…’

‘I know’ You stop her ‘You know I won’t let go.’ You look at her with a staunch eyes.

Nayeon turns around as she does not have the courage to directly face you. How would she not understand what you want, everything happens after your break up is making you leave a deeper impression in her heart, instead of leaving her heart like a pair of normal broken up couple.

‘So what can we do? Tell me what can I do? What can Momo do? What can your other girlfriends do?’ The long term effort of you has make her hate and opposing attitude start to ease, but it doesn’t mean she is accepting you.

‘Trust me, Nayeon. Just Trust me. I will take care of everything. I am not the old me already.’ You say to her confidently. But the pain in your head is becoming more significant, you tense your whole body to pretend you are alright.

‘Talking cannot solve anything.; Nayeon says peacefully.

‘But trust is important, especially for couple… friends’ You change the words after seeing Nayeon stares at you.

‘If nothing else I will leave now.’ Another result-less meeting makes her feel tired.

‘Not angry now?’ You asks carefully, you would stop her when it is normal, but your headache forced you to let her go.

‘I am not angry, I just wanna thanks god that you are not bringing trouble to me again.’ Nayeon looks helpless and slightly shakes her head. Admitting she is not angry anymore means that she is overthrowing herself, but she knows if she says she is angry you won’t let her go.

Hearing her answer makes you feel relax, your pain seems taking over your body, you grab her hand and rub her fingers, missing how her hands feel like. ‘Enjoy you trip with Jeongyeon.’ You farewell her.

‘I will…’ Nayeon answers and try to free her hand from yours with a light movement.

You pull her in and kiss her cheek before unlocking the door for her. You'll watch her walk away before starting Your drive to Mina's home. The pain in your head is still there, and you decide to just rest when I get there.

But you didn’t make it, the last you see before you blackout is Nayeon’s worried face. She seems like she is screaming but you cannot hear it.

Your consciousness was in a muddle, and you fell into a dark and boundless world. You don't know how long it took. The consciousness gradually became clear from the darkness.

Faint voices could be heard coming from all directions. "The patient hasn't woken up yet. According to the seriousness of his illness, he should at least rest for a week, and we'll check the exact time after he wakes up."

"Pay attention to a light diet, and don't give him any irritating foods."

"Kimchi is not acceptable."

You were hazy, your eyes gradually opened a gap, and the lights on the ceiling were a little dazzling, which made you frown uncontrollably.

The field of vision in front of you gradually expanded, and the double images in front of your eyes gradually overlapped and stabilized, finally becoming real.

You felt uncomfortable all over your body, and your body was so weak that you couldn't use your strength. The needle inserted in the back of your hand was injecting fluid, and you could clearly feel the drip of liquid being slowly injected into your arm. You were lying flat on the hospital bed, you could only see the empty ceiling. You tried to raise your neck to look at your surroundings.

Your light movement alarms Momo, she let out an overjoyed voice 'Honey', fixed her eyes on you who had just woken up. Nayeon 's face shows a complex emotion when she hears Momo calling you honey.

Your eyes were tense, you bit your lip slightly, and your breathing slowed down. Momo's cry instantly attracted the attention of others, and they stopped talking with the nurse and turned their heads to look. You felt very uncomfortable at this time, physically uncomfortable, so when you saw the three sitting beside your hospital bed, you didn't have the mind to think about any messy intrigue. Seeing you struggling to lift your head, the nurse stepped forward and put a pillow behind your head so that you could lie comfortably.

You blink a few times and look at each of them for a few seconds before closing your eyes and pretending to be unconscious again. It's only after they nudge you that you open your eyes again. "So, how's everyone doing?" You say after not being able to come up with anything else to say.

Momo hugs your arm and leans to you, 'I am so worried, baby. I am really so afraid you would leave me.' Momo sounds like she is going to cry. You noticed Nayeon acts unnatural when she sees Momo acts so close with you.

You pat her head to comfort her and ask,' What exactly happens to me?'

'The doctor said your body is so intense for the last few days, and after the stress is gone, your body is too tired, so you gone back out.' Nayeon answers slowly.

'You still can't take care of yourself? You are an adult already.' Jeongyeon glazing you. 'You ruin my trip with Nayeon.'

'If he is awake then we should leave some place for the cheaters.' Jeongyeon says as she keeps glazing at you and Momo. Momo hugs you tighter when she feels Jeongyeon's anger.

'Jeongyeon, let's stay for a little longer. I want to talk to Dahyun, too.' Nayeon answers

You pat Momo's back. "Well, thank you for getting me here, Nayeon. I'm sorry for causing you trouble. You too, Jeongyeon." After a little bit, you look to Momo. "Momo, you can let me go now. I'm not dying."

'I feel disgusting when I stay in the same room with cheaters. I will wait for you outside, Nabong.' Jeongyeon says as she leaves the room.

You drink a little of water that Momo feeds you, but you still feel weak.' Thank you. I don't know what will happen if you are not sending me to the hospital.'

Nayeon bites her lips. 'No need to thanks, no matter who gets down, I will send him to the hospital.' You sit between Momo and Nayeon, trying to start some conversations to end the embarrassing atmosphere.

'Maybe I should get some rest during work next time, haha.' You look at them and say.

'Don't push yourself too hard, I will be there for you.' Momo hugs you again, and her worried face makes you realize how much she loves you. You feel so warm.

Seeing you two acting close in front of her, Nayeon feels unwell, but she keeps it in her heart. At this moment, the nurse comes back with the form and hand it to Nayeon, 'You are his girlfriend, right? Please sign the form.' Nayeon keeps silence and sit stills. Momo glazes between Nayeon and the form. You know it's time for you to come out, so you tell Nayeon to give the form to you and sign yourself.

The nurse reminds you something that you need to be aware of before leaving. Both Momo and Nayeon are still silence, seems having deep thoughts in their mind.

Momo takes a deep breath. it seems she has just made a big decision. 'Honey, let me get you some food. You must be hungry.' She squeezes your hand slightly and glazes at Nayeon before she moves to the door.

You look at Momo with disbelief. Is she willing to let you stay here alone with Nayeon? Being a normal person, you know what it means. Momo is giving you space with Nayeon. It is good news for you.

Nayeon also looks at Momo with a surprised face and stands up immediately. 'Let me go.' You hold her clothes slightly enough to pull her back on the seat, not allowing her to leave.

'I will be right back.' Momo grabs the door handle, looks at Nayeon naturally before she leaves.

When the door is fully closed, Nayeon asks nervously,' What are you doing?' She is confused in the situation. After talking with you so many times, she still can't find an answer for herself. She could just pretend she is aggressive to you.

'I have things that I want to talk to you.' You look right at her eyes with confidence.

"First off, thanks again, Nayeon. It's just like you to always be there for me." You slowly take her hand in your own. "You know, as I was fading away. I thought that if the last thing I saw was you, I'd be pretty happy. Seeing you scream as I passed out, though, made me realize. It's not just you I'd want to see. It's your smile." You inch closer to Nayeon and put your forehead against hers. "I still love you, Im Nayeon." Before she can say anything, you let go of her and wrap your arms around her. "I love you."

Nayeon seems panic and tries to push you away.

'Do you understand, Nayeon?' You look at her with love. 'Our love can conquer everything, no matter how far we are apart.’

Nayeon's heart is biting faster when she hears you confess again, but besides being happy, she feels pain in the heart more.

Nayeon keeps looking at you and finally answers you, 'It's too late to talk about these. You have a girlfriend already.'

"I do, you." You say reminding her of the form. You cup her cheeks and put your forehead to hers. "Nayeon, I love you. It’s okay."

You purposely cough a few times before continuing, showing Nayeon how weak you are right now. Expectedly, Nayeon shows you care immediately and asks,' Are you ok?' She says while pat your back.

'Let me finish even though I am not ok.' You give her a warm smile. 'All my words are from the bottom of my heart, I never be so honest to you.' You know it's a perfect time to use your illness, Nayeon will trust anything you say right now.

'But Momo... I can't do it like that...' Nayeon still cannot accept to share you with others.

However, you know she is just hesitant, you are on the edge of breaking her mental defense, with one more strike you can get what you want.

Nayeon wants to stop you, but seeing you cough again makes her heart stop. This kiss makes her think about you again.

You grab her hand and put it on your chest, let her feel your heartbeat. 'All matters are you and me.' You keep seducing her. It's the first step to let her accept and share you with Momo. If she can do it, you can play tricks on her bottom line easily.

Nayeon's heart is indecisive. Her mind is battling, and she is seriously considering the possibility. 'Should I do that? Can I really do it?' She asks her heart.

The cute face of Nayeon is losing her soul. She falls into deep thoughts.

You slowly get her between your arms and whispers,' I really want you to come back to me. I miss you so much.'

'You don't need to do anything. Just let me do it. I won't let you have any sadness.' Your words like a knife, strike direct to her heart and totally destroy it.

You look at her lips, you can't hold on and kiss her again, all her courage to resist you disappear when you insert her hair with your fingers.

She gives up everything and lets you take the lead. She looks at your face before closing her eyes, just focusing on the sensation of this kiss.

You have kissed three times after you break up, the first one under her home is full of anger, the second one in the ice cream shop is full of passion and lust, but this time, just pure love.

You grab her closer while you see she totally let you control her body, you know you succeed, Nayeon eventually gives up her self-esteem and back to you.

You break the kiss slowly and tilt her head back. "Nayeon, I love you. I'll take care of you." You take her hand and kiss her forehead. "You've had a rough day. Why don't you go get some rest?"

'Umm... I want to wait for Dahyun.' Nayeon whispers. Nayeon just makes the decision under you seduce, she need times to accept it.

'What are we now?' Nayeon asks nervously.

"Together. If you’re not going on your trip anymore. Why don't we go out sometime?" You respond as I give Nayeon a quick kiss. You laugh a little. "It would be kind of funny if I played dead when Dahyun got here, wouldn't it?" You say to change the topic.

'No... Dahyun is really worried about you. You can't do that.' Nayeon slightly slabs your arm. 'Aren't you sick now? Why can you still think of these naughty ideas?'

'Because I want to make you happy, Nayeon.' You grab her for a kiss again. You two have been missing each other for so long, so you keep having Skinship with Nayeon.

The door opened suddenly, and you and Nayeon quickly separated, pretending nothing had happened. Momo sits beside you and takes out the lunch box. Start to feed you. 'You must be hungry, honey.' Momo says.

You secretly peek at Nayeon and see she looks nervously, avoiding looking at you two. Probably, she doesn't know how to face Momo. Her boyfriend was stolen by Momo and now she steals the boyfriend from Momo again. The complex situation is kind of embarrassing.

'The doctor said you can't eat too full, just feeling not hungry is ok.' Nayeon reminds you when she sees you keep eating.

'But if I don't make myself full, I will keep feeling hungry.' You pour your face and act poor to Nayeon.

Nayeon shuts up and bites her lips. From her eyes, you can see that she probably feel you being annoying again.

Momo seems noticed some uncommon between your interactions with Nayeon, but she keeps it in her mind.

"Still, thanks for worrying." You take some of the food and feed Momo a piece and then offer a piece to Nayeon. "Have you eaten yet? You can always have a piece. I'll at least try to follow the doctor’s orders."

Nayeon looks at Momo playfully before accepting your feeding, you are not sure is she trying to get Momo’s jealousy, you could just try to be fair between them. You keep feeding them rather eat yourself, making a slightly balance between them.

‘Oppa!’ Dahyun knocks the door before she comes in, she seems not as worried as Nayeon and Momo, perhaps she knows that you have worried already. ‘Hello, Nayeon eooni… and this is?’ Dahyun greets Nayeon and looks at Momo curiously. You forgot that Momo is always your secret lover and no one knows your relationship wit her except, Nayeon.

‘Oh, so your “girlfriend” haven’t met your sisters yet?’ Nayeon smirks and teases you, you can feel Momo squeeze your hands when Nayeon is challenging her. You try to function your brain and find a solution for this.

You put the food into Momo's lap, stand up, and kiss Dahyun's forehead before whispering, "These two are fighting." You mess up Dahyun's hair, "I'm sorry to worry you, Dubu. I guess the trip wore me out more than I thought, but at least I'll be resting for a week."

'Should I tell Jihyo eooni don't come for now?' Dahyun whsipers back.

'Honey, are you going to introduce me to your sister?' Momo stands next to you and hook your arms

"No, it's fine. This is going to be a mess no matter what." You kiss her cheek. "Still, I'm glad to see you, Dubu." You look to Momo for a second before looking at Nayeon. "Dahyun, this is Momo. Momo, Dahyun." You look back at Nayeon. "Nayeon, what was it the nurse was saying about your relation to me?"

Nayeon tries to prevent your slight, she turns around and answer.’ The hospital need someone to sign the form, and it has to be your legal relatives or… or your girlfriend… I am not both of them so I told her to comeback later.’

‘You can give me to sign it, I am Y/N’s girlfriend.’ Momo looks at Nayeon and says. You see Nayeon tries to argue back, but she just could not let those words leaves her mouth, she turns glazes at you, telling you to manage your girlfriend.

‘Momo eooni is your girlfriend? Oppa?’ Dahyun looks at you surprised, ‘ Well, if you are all good now, I guess I will be back tomorrow.; Dahyun turns around and wants to escape from this embarrassment, she did not expect your still having woman outside..

You pull Dahyun back and hug her from behind, "No, you don't, Dubu. You're staying here, we have to catch up after all. That reminds me, does Chaeyoung know what's happened?"

‘Chaeyoung told me she could not find you, I just lied to her you are resting.’ Dahyun asks in shaked voice. ‘Oppa, could you please let me go, I don't know how to handle this right now.’

Both Nayeon and Momo can't hear what Dahyun said, but they seems confused why you are acting so close with her, much more than siblings.

‘Dahyun ar, long time no see, maybe we can have some talk?’ Nayeon stands up and walks to you and Dahyun.

You let go of Dahyun, "Yeah, you two should catch up. Tell her about your job." You'll take a seat on my hospital bed and pat the area next to you to signal to Momo to sit.

Nayeon and Dahyun leave the room, and Momo helps you walk back to the bed. However, she does not sit next to you. She directly sits on your lap and hugs you tightly. You could feel her nipples rubbing your skin, 'You do not wear the bra?' You ask surprisingly.

'Honey, I was in a hurry, so...' Momo gives you a deep kiss. You two touch each other's body passionately as your hand goes down.

You don't know if they are planned, but Nayeon and Momo's round by round skinship is making you turned on.

'Seems your sister doesn't like me a lot?' Momo asks as she laying between your arms and let your hands play with her bodies. The red on her face shows you that she is kind of needy now.

"She just needs to get to know you, Momo. But the touching probably won't help you." You start to poke Momo's sides while she sits on your lap. "I hope you thought of something fun we can do. Now that I'm back." You say to her.

'The only one who doesn't like I touch you will be Nayeon.' Momo smirks and leans you closer, let you to touch her body more comfortably. 'We are doing something fun already, isn't it?'

Momo can feel your bulge is poking her thigh, and she is already starting to wet. You desperately want to punish her for being naughty, but you know the health of your body is more important and you don't know about it.

Seeing Momo being more needy than you, you squeeze her tits hardly, forcing Momo to moan, and then you whisper to her. ' We can not do that right now.'

'I know... But I want you... Maybe I should visit you every day, to take care of you as your girlfriend, and when they are not here...' Momo blushes while imagining how you two could have fun in the hospital.

"I could always use some help." You say while you rub my head into her neck. "Now, what kind of plans did you come up with?" You ask again, wanting to see if she did as you told her.

‘Honey, I got some real big plans for you, but we will do it when you feel better.’ Momo smirks and squeeze your bulge. ‘so you need to take some good rest first, ok?’ You body jerks when she caresses you, seeing you are so excited for her Momo is so happy so she kisses you again.

The buzz from your phone stops the kiss, you break the kiss and check the message. It’s Dahyun that tells you that she has left with Nayeon already, and she has told Jihyo to come tomorrow.

Seeing Nayeon has left already, Momo wants to stay with you overnight at the hospital but you rejected. ‘Didn’t you say I should get some rest? If you are staying here, I can’t do it. You know I can’t resist you, Momo.’ You tease her.

‘ok then… I will visit you again.” Momo reluctantly packing her things and ready to go. ‘Take care of yourself, honey…’ Momo caresses your forehead before leaving, you finally have some personal place where none of your girls are here.

You lay your head down and rest, taking the chance of not having anyone around to sleep.

#minasaiyatis #twice smut #nayeon smut #momo smut #twice nayeon #twice momo #twice imagines #female idol smut #kpop smut #girl group smut

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hyperfixationsporfavor · 2 months

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hey just saw you were taking requests so im here to give one. i dont know if you have read "veil" but its a manga basically you can search it its up to you. so my request is if you could do nanami (headcanons or oneshot doesn't matter) with a reader like emma from that manga (like she likes to dress up, likes to feel things and the main thing she cant see). thank youu 💗

Author's Note: Hello! Thank you for the request. I previously only knew Veil from tiktok so I read some chapters for some more context. It's such a cute manga and I definitely plan to read more.

Here's a little one shot. And I don't explicitly say it in the fic but Reader is blind like Emma. Let me know what you think. :)

When Kento got home he found you on the couch with your St. Bernard, Smalls, curled up next to you. You had been sipping a cup of tea while some Beethoven played from his old record player.

“Kento?” you called out.

“Yeah,” he replied.

He closed the door behind him and made his way over to you.

You smiled as you heard him approach you, setting your tea on the coffee table and standing up to properly greet him. He lowered his head to kiss you, which you swiftly deepened.

After some time the two of you reluctantly pulled away from each other.

“How was work?” you asked.

“Fine. How about you?”

You sighed and leaned against him. “Another day of modeling beautiful clothes? It was pure torture.

He chortled under his breath and wrapped you tighter in his arms.

“Kento? Can you zip this up?”

Kento finished adjusting the cufflinks on his suit and made his way over to you. You turned away, allowing him to zip up the back of your evening gown. Your face heated up when you felt his knuckle brush against the small of your back as he grabbed the zipper. Once the dress was secure you turned around so he could fully see you.

“How do I look?” you checked.

“Beautiful.”

After the two of you said your goodbyes to Smalls you made your way out of your apartment building to the opera. Kento had secured a pair of tickets months in advance. At your insistence the two of you decided to walk. You held onto his arm as the two of you made your way to the opera house. On the way you passed an array of luxury department stores and Kento halted in front of a particularly special one.

“What is it?” you asked.

“I’m just admiring this model. Her picture’s in the store window.”

“Oh yeah?” you jested. “Should I be jealous?”

“Maybe,” he retorted. “Especially if she could get me a discount.”

You pecked his cheek. “As much as I love playing this game with you we don’t want to miss the

opening curtain.”

Once the two of you had arrived you were stopped at the door by a photographer.

“(Name)! Can I get a picture for the society pages?”

More voices approached you. “(Name)? The model?”

“I saw your billboard downtown today! You’re even more beautiful in person!”

Security came forward and waved the onlookers away. Then you and Kento were escorted by an usher to your seats.

“Are you alright?” you asked.

Kento rested his hand on your knee. “Of course. Why?”

“Well, that was a bit of fanfare downstairs. I think I caused a scene.”

You reached out and ran your finger over the glass of his Rolex.

“People are starting to recognize you. It’s nothing to be embarrassed over.”

He took your hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“I’m so proud of you.”

You lifted his hand to your lips and kissed his fingers.

The house lights dimmed and the audience applauded.

“Will you tell me if one of the singers trips?” you whispered.

“Absolutely,” he assured you.

The End.

#nanami kento x reader #jjk x reader #hyperfixationsporfavor #jjk fanfic #kento nanami #veil manga

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idkelly · 8 months

Text

RED NAILS

• Lalo salamanca x fem!reader, with some nacho too (best of both worlds), HEAVY on slowburn, and i love hurt comfort so bear with me

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

CHAPTER TWO

The casino was a safe space, for (Yn) at least, because it was her favorite skill—gambling and playing with predictions and percentages. She was known for it, and everyone knew her hands always pulled the best cards in the game.

Yes, the new Mexico casino was nothing like the one back home in Mexico, but business is business. Walking in, she didn’t grab any attention, which was better for her sake at the moment.

Only her father and brothers knew of her existence right now, plus Mike and a few others. but to the outside world, the new family was long gone from the public’s eye.

She hummed along to the music as she made her way to the back office, opening the door slowly, "Pa?"

“Hola bonita," as always, a cigarette was between his fingers and a book was spread in front of him. The lights were pretty dim, and the doctor told him it was better for his eyesight.

"I found him."

"Varga?"

"Hmm, when’s the next step?"

"Tomorrow"

It was perfect. The plan and her needs were aligned. Her car needed a checkup, and she herself needed to check up on someone.

She found herself at the front desk of Ignacio's dad's workshop, and she was quite surprised he had some good business going despite his age.

“Hola," the old man greeted her as soon as he heard the bell ring.

"Hola. ¿Cómo estás?"

"Welcome. How can I help you?" He switched to English so fast, do I really look that white-washed?

"I was hoping to get a checkup on my car."

He nodded and turned to the back, where he yelled his son's name, telling him to go up front.

(Yn) couldn’t help but smile when she saw the look on his face when he recognized her; his steps slowed for a second as he gathered his thoughts as to what she was doing here.

The man brought his son only to be a translator between the two; therefore, Yn didn’t need to show her ability to speak Spanish.

In the middle of talking, the dad was called back in. with an apologetic look, he said, "I'm sorry, Senorita. My son will help you, okay?" and with that, he walked off.

"How’d you find me?"

(Yn) scoffed, looking to the side, though she could feel Ignacio's stare burn holes through her skull.

"Why are you here?"

"I can't get my car checked out now?."

The man kisses his teeth in annoyance. What the hell was she doing here? "We both know you’re not here just for that."

"Well, a little birdie told me that not only you’re a drug dealer, you’re also a card thief. I mean, shit, if you wanted some, I would’ve given you my Pokemon collection; it’s very exclusive."

If someone were to animate the view from (Yn)’s eyes, they would’ve drawn steam out of Ignacio's ears.

"I'm just saying you underestimated how big of an idiot you were. He went to the police for those cards, and now they’re snooping around."

"Sounds like you have a problem, young lady," he said, taking a step back, ready to leave.

"First of all, it’s an us problem; second of all, I'm pretty sure I'm older than you," he continued along his way until she stopped him dead in his tracks.

"Are you really not that scared of Tuco Salamanca?"

And there he is again, right in front of Yn, with his hands crossed over his chest.

"I know you don’t play ball, so to speak, and Tuco finds out about your little side business. I think we both know the end to that."

"Who are you?" he finally asked; that question had been on his mind for the whole day yesterday.

"Me? I'm nobody," same dumb smile she always uses.

"To put an end to this before it even starts, you give me the baseball cards, 10,000 in cash, and you net roughly $60,000."

Ignacio chuckled then went back to his serious face, "And how exactly does that work?"

(Yn) stayed quiet for a bit, saying, "Before I continue, you really have amazing eyelashes, im jealous."

Well, that took him by surprise; he didn’t show it obviously, but still, it startled him. However, his thoughts were soon interrupted by her continuing her speech.

He was impressed by her plan, and more so by her way of convincing him so easily to take part in it.

What stood out about her to him was the way she held eye contact; sure, it was common in the business to establish power and shit, But with her, it was almost more to get even with whoever she was looking at. He couldn’t put a finger on how he felt about it, her.

(Yn) wasn’t there when the final deal was happening, but Mike was, and she told him about the plan as she dropped him off near where he worked; it wasn't hard to find that one either.

The rest of the day she spent at the casino with her brothers; her father was now back home. The place was her brother's, where she was carrying out her business, which was her casino back in Mexico.

Here, the family was invisible, though; it wasn’t common knowledge who owned this place.

After a few hours, Yn finally decided to head back home to her cat and maybe watch a movie while cuddling. The woman’s schedule was really, really empty; she could do as she pleased day and night.

As she unlocked the door, she could hear her cat calling her through the kitchen, but instead of coming to her, she had to fully realize who was sitting down on her sofa.

hard eyes.

"Do you want coffee or tea?" she said as she kicked off her shoes and walked over to the kitchen.

"Is this really your response to finding a stranger in your home?"

"A stranger is someone you don’t know."

A scoff could be heard, along with footsteps indicating he followed her to where she was; to his surprise, she was already making dinner, pasta, he presumed. with two plates set on the table.

Was she serious? "Well, I don’t know you."

"So you willingly barged into a stranger's home, pretty clever," she laughed. "Did you follow me?"

“No, I dug a bit and found you," she couldn’t help but laugh more at his attempt.”I noticed the van that was following me yesterday, plus, if you dug around about me, you wouldn’t be here."

"Why are you here, anyway?" she said as she filled up the two plates with salsa and set the remaining in the middle if either of them had wanted seconds.

He sat down, examining the dish. It was nicely made and fairly appetizing, especially after a long day of work. On the other side of the table, she sat leaning over to him, and there it is, her stare.

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Stare"

"Does it bother you?"

It was definitely a no, but he couldn’t say that, and on the other hand, he couldn’t say yes either.

"Does Tuco not pay you enough so you make money on the side?" With that, Ignacio let out a big sigh and set his utensils aside.

"The problem isn’t my salary or anything; Tuco is a ticking time bomb; he didn’t mind putting a bullet between a guy’s eyes just because he got a weird look from him, let alone me."

"Your face has good bone structure; keep it that way," she said as she slipped the pasta into her mouth again. He didn’t know if these were compliments or not; she didn’t say them in a flirtatious manner, definitely more like she stated facts from a powerpoint presentation.

After a moment of silence, he said, "Your cooking is amazing; where’d you learn it from?" She could tell he liked it by how he was devouring what was presented in front of him.

"My father’s an amazing cook, but I was the only one who got his talent; my two brothers

They learned to gamble from me instead."

So she does have a family. Though she was an orphan or something.

"gamble?"

"Yes! My favorite hobby is real. I could do it for hours, plus I know all the tricks."

"okay show me sumn' "

"I’m in a good mood today, so I'll show you a few."

The rest of the night was filled with laughter and jokes. (Yn) gave the guy a lesson on games and cheats while his eyes filled with interest in what she was showing him, but either way, they both knew the night had to come to an end.

As Ignacio was at the door, ready to step out, he looked back to the woman who had greeted him goodbye a few seconds earlier, sitting on her couch peacefully petting her cat while watching TV. He really forgot why he came here in the first place.

Yn'’s mind filled with what she could do now to avoid her boredom, but as soon as she received a certain voice call from a specific person, she knew the next few days were going to be eventful.

She watched as Krazy-8 walked out of that door looking like his legs were about to give out at any given moment, yet he was sure fast enough to drive away in his vehicle. giving Yn her moment to shine.

She dresses nicely for the occasion for once, letting her hair down and doing her makeup, just taking care of herself before this whole shitshow goes down.

Parking her car next to Tuco’s and purposely bumping into it a little bit was the easy part; now she has to go in and embrace what’s going to happen.

Tuco was already staring at her in disbelief; he definitely saw what happened through the big classroom window, looking absolutely furious, while Nacho turned around after a few seconds and did his heart drop— is she everywhere?

"Hey!" She heard Tuco call out when she walked by their table to the register, but she pretended she didn’t hear them.

"Hello! Um.. can I get the number four, please, on the go?" She said this while smiling to the man before her, who went to work right away in order to avoid the scene that was about to happen.

"Yo chica, hey," she felt a hand guide her to turn around as she was met by none other than Tuco, who stood beside him, Ignacio. "You just hit my car."

"Huh? I hit your car?" Tuce chuckled at Varga. This bitch’s acting dumb.

"See, that car that you parked your piece of shit next to?" That’s mine, and you’ve just run into it."

"Oh well, I guess I could’ve and I didn’t notice, so my apologies, sir," she smiled and turned around, collecting her order and mumbling a small thank you before rushing out.

She could hear Tuco yelling not to get away from him, but the altercation needed to happen outside.

"Don’t you walk away from me!" Ay, puta!"

All the talking was done by the salamanca, while Varga stayed awfully quiet. Even Tuco noticed a slight change in demeanor on his end.

"You see that! You did that!" he said, pointing to the tiniest dent known to mankind.

"That’ll buff right out, now if you’ll excuse me—

As she was getting ready to open her car door, she felt a hand grab her by the shoulder and swing her all the way around, face to face with Tuco.

"You’re not leaving until you pay for this."

"If money is all you need, I've got great insurance."

Once again, with his hand that’s still glued to her, he shakes her to stop talking that nonsense.

"I ain’t messing around with no insurance, bitch, cash."

"Listen, I've barely got cash on me, so if you just give me your information, I’ll send it to you through insurance."

Thud. Now (Yn) was sandwiched between Tuco salamanca and a wall; her head began to hurt already; maybe doing this herself was a bad idea, but she knew Mike would follow up with the deal, and she couldn’t let that happen; it won’t help her in the long run, and she needed all the salamanca alive.

So she'd have a black eye from one of them—not a big deal.

"You’re pretty, but a pretty awful liar." "I saw your wallet earlier; you've got plenty."

"That’s for my rent; it’s due today, and I can’t— ugh

Tuco’s ring was sure to leave a mark on Yn'’s cheek. Her head is already spinning. Why do I do this to myself?

"Just give him the money." This time it was Ignacio who spoke; no emotions were displayed, though his voice was almost like a whisper.

(Yn) looked at him and then forward to meet the loco eyes of Tuco Salamanca. she chuckled.

"I ain’t giving you shit."

The police sirens could be heard coming this way. "It’s time to bounce," Ignacio said, but his partner didn’t budge; instead, he ordered Nacho to leave and let him finish this business.

#lalo salamanca #lalo salamanca x reader #lalo salamanca smut #ignacio varga #nacho varga #nacho varga reader #better call saul

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starz4valen · 5 months

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queers im fucking lost come save me

ok but in all seriousness,

despite labeling myself as aroace for a hot minute and finding comfort in that label and the community for a time—shit doesnt feel quite right anymore.

i have had ONE EX. one.

i genuinely think i was in love with him. i only felt what i felt with him,,,WITH HIM. nobody else. I felt the butterflies/giddiness, i loved his laugh, his smile, hearing him, his jokes, all the names he would call me, how much he said he loved me, our late night discord calls, having him around, just. him. when he rarely spoke abt shit that was bothering him it hurt me so bad, like i would hurt with him. and the mere THOUGHT of ME hurting him made me wanna sob.

as you can probably guess by the fact we’re exes, we’re not together anymore. it hurts. hell, my stomach tangled a bit as i typed that out. (could be cause recently someone who used to be a friend went and dated him and then got upset at me for getting upset at them but this ain't abt them.)

we broke up in like june last year, and i felt so fucking horrible about it bc it basically ended w him yelling at me over text at how horrible i am at listening and how i treated him more like a therapist—which i will admit i did. i sucked for that. it makes sense why tho, i was working through a lot of shit at the time, doesn’t justify it at all though. i should’ve treated him better. im desperately trying to fix it in my current relationships so that never happens again.

then again, he also treated me badly. he said things that really fucked with my sense of trust in people and just made me scared to get close with anyone like that ever again, or in general bc i was convinced everyone had some ulterior motive w me or secretly didnt give a shit abt me—but also i felt *I* was the problem. like every relationship im in is gonna end horribly bc im just that bad. its taken a lot to say that i feel loved by and trust my current friends, as well as trying to recognize that I deserve love, and im glad i can say that im getting better ^^

but,,,idk anymore

i concluded i was aroace almost a year after we broke up. there were a couple reasons. for one, i only really got that close w him. i dont really know if ive had a crush or what that feels like—in fact i think i faked one in elementary, the whole reason i got w my ex was bc he was flirting w me and it made me feel nice. (also bc i was worried he would be my only shot at love but i digress) i feel off when people talk about heading to poundtown or anything like that, the same with crushes—just crushes tho relationships i totally get—and i still struggle to wrap my head around attraction and how people just can look at someone without even knowing them at ALL and go “you. i want you.”

i wrote off how i felt when i was with him as simply some non-romantic form of attraction and called it a day.

but recently ive been reflecting on that, and i think i was wrong. the way that even now i get all these emotions by merely talking abt my ex says something. how upset seeing that "friend" going ahead and dating him after barely knowing him and just how angry i was says something. the way i cried seeing my best friend get a whole small crate of presents from their partner for their bday bc i was THAT JEALOUS says something. the way i yearn for affection and to be loved again says something. the way im starting to miss being in love again says something. the way i would always want some sort of relationship—even when i identified as aroace—but just never thought it would happen bc i didn't feel pretty enough, or mentally well enough, deserving of one, or like id ever be lucky enough to find someone who makes me feel that way again and how scared and sad that makes me,,,says something.

now in terms of poundtown—legit dunno. closest to that I've done w anyone was neck kisses from my ex, which i did really enjoy—but also i legit identified as ace like the whole time we were together and the few times he made jokes like that i felt uncomfy. plus the only way i feel i could be ok w going further w something like that is if its either excessively gentle or the most unserious thing ever. so tbh if i had to take a guess on how i feel abt that—not too keen on it.

I'm debating a couple labels, bi, aroace, bi and ace, demirose, and demirose and bi, but tbh i feel bi kinda fits the most? (maybe???) but also it doesn't. idk if its the fear of opening my mind to me being in a relationship despite my fear of intimacy and commitment or just that I'm aroace and this is my brain telling me to stop overthinking shit—but i know i wanna figure this shit out

if anyone has like legit any words of advice PLEASE send it my way. i will take even the tiniest crumb of guidance cause i am more lost than a child in ikea.

thanks to anyone who read all this <3

#queer #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbtq community #queer community #in need of advice #queer advice #aroace #aromantic #asexual #bisexual #questioning #help. me.#utterly confused 💥

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mejomonster · 5 months

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So Im watching dangerous romance

Things it does right: feels grounded, dont know how to explain but its more like My Dear Loser or Moonlight Chicken in terms of feeling than say My School President or Theory of Love. Theres a grounded feel to the presentation, so while there's romance tropes they feel more like accentuating a "feels like slice of life" story rather than a heavy romcom vibe. (It is funny and angsty romance though!)

Lead actors work great together, they got to be in Never Let Me Go but this role lets Chimon showcase how solid he is in lead roles. Perth is well suited to this particular role and portraying it well. (I also recommend Chimon in The Gifted, the Gifted Graduation, and The Player, and My Dear Loser for more of a vibe like this show's).

The Only trope i hate is "knew each other in childhood before" which many a drama love using. This drama, unfortunately, also used it. But thankfully for me its 1 scene and so far the show isnt indicating they used to be friends or crushes. Just that they crossed paths once as kids and Kang showed kindness, so Sailom had reason to believe maybe Kang could again now. As far as me having to deal with this trope goes? The trope is at a minimum, its bareable. (Which btw... if a story IS childhood friends to logers im fine with the trope, i just hate how many like cdramas and taiwan dramas often introduce 2 seemingly strangers then flash back to some childhood scene where 1 of them actually got a crush years ago and recognizes their crush again as an adult... that trope is just NOT for me lol. Id rather either writing has to show me the childhood years of growing close - Bad Buddy, Theory of Love, Go Ahead do this - or else I want it to show people getting to know each other At the age of the story with No Shortcut excuse for why they should get together sooner - Not Me the Series, My Beautiful Man, She Likes to Cook and She Likes to Eat do this well. Cherry Magic is an example of long-term-acquaintances forming a relationship and that wlrks fine too, because its got story reasons of X years long spent together and starts the story with at least one party in the active process of building the relationship into more/getting feelings. I just... i hate the "knew each other once" trope 90% of the time because i feel like sometimes it leads to writers skipping a reason for characters to gradually grow close DURING the actual story. And so i tend to avoid it by default. This shows execution of it is, like i said, bearable as it doesnt seem to be leaning on it to cut writing the present development).

One of the Best bisexual love triangles ive seen in a while! I remember when Theory of Love did the bi love triangle and i was so happy to see 1 a clearly written bisexual in a bl romance drama (oh how far weve come), 2 a bisexual written with their romance story genuinely given care as in it was easy to see they liked both crushes sincerely 3 a fairly accurate portrayal as far as like bi college romance can go. Well Dangerous Romance goes for the tragic bi love triangle too! Kang is a teen, maybe he isnt even sure he likes guys yet. But its clear from the start he likes Pimfah is long time crush, his best friend, the friend he most aims to impress and show his kinder caring qualities to. He takes notice of Sailom, a boy who DOES try and succeed at challenges and who Kang is definitely jealous of: jealous Sailom doesnt have to buy success, is valued for his skillsets not his background, is visibly kind to others and succeeds from it (where Kang when he is nice to strangers is often interpreted as buying people/manipulating so hes given up on trying to be nice at all). Kang admires both Pimfah and Sailom for their genuine kindness, their genuine talent and efforts to work hard. Sailom isnt his best friend though, so he reacts hostile. He ends up liking Sailom longer term though for similar reasons to liking Pimfah. Sailom tolerates his bullshit even less, which ultimately makes Sailom even more appealing as someone who expects him to do well By His Own choice. Kang is loyal and kind and territorial with those he likes. He wants someones attention like Pimfah? He goes to do something brave and showy like hold a lizard. He wants to be alone with her, he tries to exclude Sailom (or others) so it can be a date with Pimfah. He subconciously likes Sailom? He also gets showy, insisting they play music. He also gets territorial, extremely upset to see Sailom close to other men and dragging Sailom off. Kang has a bad habit of not saying what he feels right away, so its good Sailom asks questions and demands complete answers. But Kang does wear his heart on his sleeve in terms of actions. Once he cares about someone hes incredibly generous and caring, once he has a crush his gaze follows them magnetically and he gets quite overtly clingy. No wonder Sailoms friends knew right away.

It works great as a bi love triangle for a few reasons. 1 Pimfah is not painted as the antagonist or girl who comes between them, the faen fatale trope. Shes just a best friend whos heart gets broken, just like Kang is a best friend who gets his heart broken, as is Sailom. She, reasonably, likes Sailom (shes Kangs best friend so it is fairly realistic shed also like Sailom like Kang does, and shes got a similar personality to Sailom). Kang reasonably likes Pimfah and its not a surprise to the audience (and his crush on Sailom is depicted similarly so Kangs attractions read as clearly bi - its no surprise to us who he likes and that both crushes are genuine). Sailom clearly likes Kang, clearly likes men, and as the 3 develop you notice he doesnt have any special feelings for Pimfah but thinks shes a nice person. I loved the episode all three of them got their heart broken. ToT Pimfah likes Sailom, crushing Kang (and fueling the fire that is his fears hes not good enough As His Own person outside of status TO be likable). Kang at the same time, knows Sailoms worth and why Pimfah would like him, feels Sailom IS better than himself (both Kangs self hatred and his own admiration of Sailom compounding), so Kang figures at least the 2 people he thinks are amazing deserve each other: Sailom is wonderful and deserves Pimfah more than Kang if Sailom is who she likes. So Kang is PISSED Sailom doesnt want her. The two best people Kang knows, how could Sailom reject her? How could Pimfah and Sailom, at least, not end up happy? Then Sailom confesses HE LIKES KANG. Kangs world is rearranging. Oh. The man he admires doesnt like the woman he admires (who doesnt like Kang), because the man he admires likes him. Woah. Kang couldve accepted the two people he views as "better" than him deserving each other. But Sailom liking him means suddenly Kang does feel Deserving of equal value again, confusion. And has to consider if he views Sailom romantically like he does Pimfah, or if the admiration is only platonic. Kang panics, says he only did his caring gestures out of guilt. But Kang does like Sailom, HAS liked Sailom and its been subconciously driving him over time, and so even with the lie "it was just guilt" he doesnt want to be apart from Sailom. So he still finds himself trying to help Sailom sick, trying to talk to him, qnd realizing hes just as jealous of Sailom with other people as he was with Pimfah liking another. So it clicks into place, he goes to talk to Sailom alone, kisses him. The next several hours are a mess until Kang can spit out his honest feelings and he and Sailom can talk about it. Meanwhile, Pimfahs heart break is very teen slice of life relatable, and shes not ever villainized as a character who "came between the main couple." Shes still Kangs best friend, their confession of different crushes just means theyve been giving each other space to process without both crying more (Kang over her rejecting him, Pimfah over Sailom rejecting her).

Its a very well handled love triangle. It propels all of their stories forward. It makes sense. (I finished ep 7, still have the rest to go).

#dangerous romance #lb

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procyo9 · 1 year

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HOLY SHIT I DID IT!!!!!!! JFHEKJGHSKJHFDASHFGSDJK

ok now im getting anxious lol GOTTA GO

WHOLE THING CAN BE ALSO FOUND UNDER THE CUT!! LOVE Y'ALL

as always Crystal belongs to @quaddmgd :3

"Rogue I beg you, please anyone but Palmer? You know I-" "Listen, kid. You come to me asking for help, and I'm giving you help. If you think you're in a position to cherrypick who you 'like' to work with then you either grow up and go talk with Panam or leave." Elegy clenched her fists and stormed out of the booth, bumping shoulders with some stranger on the way out. She was so angry she felt like burning something down; why does it always end up like that? At this point she'll never get her street cred anywhere. She leaned against a wall, not feeling like going home empty-handed. She needed a drink - something to soothe her nerves and give her fuel to think. Elegy raised her sights to look for Claire, who was occupied with-- oh, it's that pretty girl.

She's been coming to Afterlife a lot lately and quickly got recognized among other solos as someone who should not be messed with. Many wanted to work with her, but she prefered working alone; she was an ex-nomad, after all. She probably had to learn to rely only on herself to survive without her family. To be honest, Elegy was a little jealous - she tried really hard to become independent but her ties kept a tight knot on her. No matter how good her skills were, she still was forced to rely on others to help her with matters she couldn't resolve on her own. It can be exhausting sometimes, asking for help - however stupid that sounds.

"Eh, don't worry C, Nix has his days. Afterlife is full of gonks that would pay you just to have a chance of working with you." "I just wish... He didn't need to be so harsh about that." The girl with colorful hair sipped the last of her liquor, soft expression present on her face. At this point Elegy caught herself staring, and she hid her face under her bangs. But did she hear right? Crystal needed Nix's help? Why would she- "Also, you know I prefer working with people who know their stuff. Can't let another gonk die on me," she played with her glass, turning the melting ice cubes inside left and right, much like Elegy's stomach at this moment. She wanted to scream 'I KNOW MY STUFF,' at the top of her lungs, but obviously that wouldn't work. She needed to approach her somehow. She had to.

***

"Heard you need help with some netrunnin'?" Suddenly the seat beside Crystal wasn't empty anymore, and her eyes met with black orbs radiating with confidence. "Did you listen in on us?" She shifted from a relaxed pose to a more stiff, ready-to-act one. Maybe it wasn't the best idea, but it worked! "Listen, Nix knows his shit and all, I get it. But to be honest? I can do anything he can - if not better - not counting the fact that I'm simply just a lot cooler to be around. You should ditch that old ex-corp, he and Rogue can go be pains in the ass together in that shitty booth of hers," Crystal's soft expression was long gone, replaced by way more annoyed and suspicious one. "Huh, you do gigs for Rogue?" "Sometimes. When she doesn't pair me up with assholes, that is." Elegy fiddled with her fingers, watching her hands; somehow her confidence began depleting, so she decided - it's now or never. "So, how about that - you help me, I help you." "Well, since you did listen in; what makes you think I'd just go and risk my life with a random gonk-" "You might wanna tune in and listen to the news then; rerun is about to start." Claire shouted from another end of the counter, serving drinks to a group of young mercs. Crystal's eyes shot back to the blue-haired gal, who just shrugged and turned her head to the TV.

The news lady began going on about the latest case of a corporation being targeted by a cyberterrorist known as The Plague; after their last attack, more than 2000 Biotechnica employees were stalled in their work. All employees on-site were found unconscious and poisoned, with no damage other than their security being compromised - there were traces of some top secret documents being stolen, which seemed more like a nasty joke left by the attacker rather than a slip-up. “The nasty joke being a dick. Drew it myself,” Elegy commented on the news, her hands intertwined behind the back of her head like some laid back anime character. All she got in response was a ‘I am still not convinced’ smirk, as Crystal went back to playing with her - now completely empty - glass. “They’re still clonin’ humans. Got all the evidence backed up on a shard, but got nobody I trust with it yet,” her expression was serious now, and she meant it. “They clone them, force them to think and feel, and then they experiment on them. Playing fucking god… No matter how helpful they were during the energy crisis and food industry, this is beyond fucked up.” "Holy shit,” a small chuckle escaped from Crystal, who seemed rather surprised by the sudden change of tone. “That really does sound fucked up. And you really pulled off something like that all by yourself?” “Well, can’t doubt Claire.” Elegy beamed a smile at the barkeep, who winked back while still working her beverage magic. ”They used to call me The Omen at first, it’s all silly really but still, that’s what I get for having a ‘signature move’ or whatever…” She began to ramble a bit, feeling the heat in her gut rising with every positive reaction she got out of her soon-to-be partner. “Hm. Okay. Tell me what’s up with that gig. I think we might work together quite well.” “...You mean it?” “Yep. So? Gimme something to work with!” “!! Okay, so there’s this new smart link prototype-”

***

“So if I help you steal that prototype for your Ashura, you’re gonna help me with cracking the security? That building is tight as shit you know-” “Yup! You won’t even have to lift a finger. In and out.” “And you need me because… You can’t drive a car?” “Yeah!” Her innocent smile was devastating in a way. Crystal couldn’t believe it at first, but it seemed that this girl was serious. “What the hell. Let’s do it. I’m Crystal, by the way.” She reached to the bubbly one next to her, with the intention of shaking her hand. Elegy returned the gesture with a little bit of hesitation, but quickly pushed all those feelings of doubt away - this was a time for celebration. “Elegy! You know, this calls for a toast. You ever tried David Martinez?”

#otp: nothing's gonna hurt you baby #.opk #elegy #crystal #cyberpunk 2077 #oc: elegy yukimura

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sublunaryorchid · 9 months

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How do you handle jealousy etc with your Daddy/sisters etc im STRUGGLING where i never have b4 w/ polyamory dating gods is strange new territory

this is very topical rn lmao uh 👁️

I’ve had my moments, for sure. It’s not uncommon, it’s not bad, and it’s not wrong to feel jealous. It’s very human. It’s not inherently bad - but how you deal with it is what matters.

I wanna say around autumn of last year was the worst I’d experienced it. Managing it/overcoming it ultimately boiled down to a few things.

Disclaimer: this is what *i* did, and what worked. It’s gonna be different for everyone.

1. Ditch your pride. It’s hard, yeah, but just do it.

2. I would catch a jealous thought and look at it. Being curious is more productive than being combative, so I’d ask it where it came from and what it needs.

3. There’s a whole host of reasons that would come up, but all of them more or less tied back to my own insecurity. So that was a starting point for me.

*If you’re able to ask for some reassurance, do that, but don’t expect your partner to solve your issues. They can only reassure you so much. The real change will come from buckling down, finding the root causes within yourself and working on them. Have grace with yourself, remember you’re not bad or wrong for feeling it, but don’t indulge it. It will fester, it will grow, and you will feel worse - where you absolutely don’t have to.

4. What could I do to feel more secure? Put more effort into my relationship. I was insecure than I was insufficient, that I didn’t bring anything to the table, that it wouldn’t matter if I was around or not.

(For me, this meant going to therapy, a lot, like once a week for a solid five months, and working on becoming healthier in general to keep my brain in the best possible shape so it was strong and ready to help me at my lowest points. This entailed physically working out, exercising, self care days, always taking my meds, getting better sleep, and cutting out all negative influences.)

5. Put things back in perspective. Unless this is an unhealthy relationship, you wouldn’t be there if your partner didn’t want you there. You have value, you are wanted, you are welcome, you belong. Trust that, trust them, and trust yourself.

6. Work on it. Stopping jealousy in its tracks is hard, and it is work, and you’ve gotta try.

I was just saying this to a friend in a similar situation, and I’m gonna repeat it here: It’s like a muscle. The more you use it, the easier it gets. With time, it’ll be reflexive. I don’t have more than the odd split second of jealousy anymore, but that didn’t happen overnight. I went to therapy, I tossed my pride down the toilet and threw myself into doing the “why are you here and what can I do to help you” talking-to-my-jealousy exercise.

That’s a lot of words…

TLDR; A lot of it ties back to self worth, so that’s kinda the crux of it - you need to recognize and work on healing whatever is inside you that isn’t letting you be happy. If we’re talking about a poly situation here, if you’re jealous of another party involved, ask yourself honestly why someone else’s value and contribution to the relationship is threatening to you or makes you insecure.

On that note: my opinion that therapy helps in every aspect of your life, and can be transformative when utilized correctly, but particularly when it comes to bolstering your confidence and self worth. When you become happier with yourself as a person in general, you will find it’s significantly harder to be mean to yourself… because that’s where jealousy takes hold. It latches onto existing insecurities and amplifies them.

It’s a conscious effort that needs to be made. Nobody will fix it for you. If the relationship is what you truly want, the effort and work and care you put into setting yourself up for success is endlessly worth it.

#ask #anon #if you wanna send an ask off anon to talk more I’ll message you if you like #bc my DM’s are closed but . I am very passionate abt this and if I can help I would like to

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terrence-silver · 2 years

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How do you think the dynamic is gonna change betwen terry and the other characters in season 5? What im hoping happens is a plot twist( like insert character was working with cobra kai)😭 i honestly love the conflict and drama

Uh, well, let me try and predict? Don't hold me to my words, though.

Daniel Larusso: I think we all collectively agreed that he will try to make this guy come off as absolutely insane and paranoid when he in fact isn't. Daniel simply recognizes his past abuser's patterns and tactics at play. Daniel very much is someone who was groomed in his childhood and someone not too many people will believe this season, perhaps? Terry makes Daniel seem irrational and delusional. Jealous, even. Jealous of Mr. Silver's successes, surely! John's in jail, right? Justice has been upheld. There is no conflict to be fought anymore. That's the news coming from the great, big grapevine, at least. So, why is Danny-Boy still so adamant and fidgety about it, when Terry, the new head of Cobra Kai is merely just a kindly, egalitarian, charming Billionaire with a heart of gold helping the youth of The Valley? Terry understands, though. Terry is a humble, smiling saint. It is PTSD and the nerves that are ailing Mr. Larusso. Might even suggest to Amanda that her husband should get therapy. Kindly advice, because it helped him oh so much too.

Amanda Larusso: Superficially enchants Amanda, but in the sense where he comes off as everything Daniel (who's a nervous, overly careful, jittery wreck by now) ought to be; a seemingly stable minded, polished businessman who just gets it. He gets it, okay? He's in charge of himself in ways Daniel isn't. Terry comes off like the image of the perfect American industrialist to Amanda, maybe a bit transparent with his charm he flaunts around so readily, but she really doesn't see why Daniel freaked so badly out about this guy. He gives off a corny, cheesy air, if anything else. Fake in the way an empty flatterer is fake. Like he tries too hard to get under your skin with every weapon available and like he tries to woo the public with a bit too much tenacity, but ultimately harmless beneath all of that TV evangalist-worthy razzle-dazzle...which is exactly what Terry wants her to think and something Terry entirely embraces. Of course, this serves to gaslight Daniel from a distance even further when his own damn wife disbelieves him this guy's dangerous.

Johnny Lawrence: Hard to tell, actually, but I'd like the angle where Terry sees Johnny as the prime inheritor of John's affections and devotion (maybe even figurative legacy, which is deeply infuriating because Terry feels cast aside and sidestepped by a nobody), and his ultimate adversary, in that regard. Johnny, naturally, might not grasp the profound gravitas behind it all, lacking half a century's worth of context and history, but Terry very much does understand. When it turns out someone who was so irreplaceably important and detrimental for a big chunk of your life loves someone else just a bit more than you, that someone else simply must be terminated and squashed into the ground. There can be only one. Terry's gonna prove his loyalty to his incarcerated Captain alright and he is going to prove it by destroying this punk's life and everything he's ever held dear by bit bit. Best thing is? There won't be a single thing John Kreese is going to be able to do about it from behind the bars. This is what he gets for breaking Terry's heart.

Chozen: People...think Chozen will have some big master plan on how to take down Terry but I literally feel the jist of it will be Chozen 'striking first' and utilizing a Cobra's ideology against a Cobra --- which is something that is revealed to us in that new clip that just dropped, among several other major clues. I might be wrong, but that's what I feel. He has insight into Terry's old Sensei, The Way of The Fist, I think he perfectly gets how downright deceptive and deadly this guy is and that he will bring the 'war' to Terry's doorstep. I mean, he is seen threatening Terry and telling him 'He is Gasoline.' among others. Anyway, what I think it will irk Terry, if you will, that there's a rare handful of somebodies who at all believe Daniel concerning Terry's own nature and are ready and able to stand up for him, meaning his attempts to isolate his victim and make him seem entirely irrational would've, in part, failed. Terry doesn't like that. He doesn't like that one bit. Then again, watch him actually try and use deception and infiltrate / join Cobra Kai (which...would anyone fall for that?)

Tory: Another person John cared for and another person Terry will hurt for it in a roundabout way, or at least, put through hefty amounts of pain disguised as training. Naturally, he will take John's sentimental pet project and make it better still all while making her suffer all throughout, polishing her through pain, which is deserved and a lesson long since overdue, Terry might think. He procures a trophy for her because while she could've won on her skill alone, she kept showing unnecessary mercy to her foe, and now she is being an ingrate too? Would Samantha Larusso ever don the same for Tory? Terry thinks not. Either way, nothing is for free. Every favour has a price and the price of Tory's All Valley trophy is her, in layman terms, shutting the hell up and not outing and betraying her own victory to the public and making herself seem like a fool when her and her family's livelihood depends on what she can earn by maintaining her status --- a la 'You're a champion, kid Don't be an idiot.'

Miguel and Robby: Their stories and relation to Terry might be extremely interconnected this season because Robby is with Miyagi-Do (Again) and Miguel is nowhere to be seen in any dojo thus far. Of course, Terry doesn't take lightly to betrayal and a stark change of colors like that. That's where the Cobra Kai invite arriving to Miguel's house address in the trailer comes in. If this is how Robby wants to play and flip-flop between dojos and alliances whoever he deems fit, that's how Terry will play too. There's a vacant spot in Terry's newly minted studios opening up all around and it can very well be occupied by Robby's greatest foe, which is Miguel, a former Cobra himself...and for all intents and purposes, Johnny Lawrence's favourite adoptive son --- a wound Terry will press into deliberately. Maybe Miguel could get cozy again with Tory too. Maybe Miguel should take everything Robby has, if Robby doesn't want it. Would Terry manipulate this angle to, in effect, punish Robby and fuel the fire of this rivalry further? I think he would.

Kenny: I don't think Terry's relationship with Kenny will be any sort of wholesome like some people think. I mean? At least I don't see it. In fact, I envision Kenny more like Terry's Trojan Horse, of sorts. I literally feel, to quote Terry himself, he will simply wind this kid up and set him loose into the world, fuelling the aggression and newfound power that comes with knowing martial arts...and his status as an actual child, yes. Kenny can attack people and be antagonistic, but people won't really strike back or will at least majorly hesitate to, because, he's, well, yes, a kid. Terry takes advantage of this as only a shameless tactician would. Terry takes advantage of the fact Robby just automatically jumps to Kenny's his defense too to cause even more chaos through this relationship. Having a wind-up imp who can do anything from enthusiastically sharing Cobra Kai fliers around, being an energized star student with a lot of potential, being a valuable poster child to pushing people around is a spectacularly useful figurine on Terry's colossal chessboard.

#at least how i see it #could be entirely wrong on each note #these are just random predictions #terry silver #cobra kai #cobra kai season 5 #daniel larusso #amanda larusso #johnny lawrence #tory nichols #robby keene #miguel diaz #kenny payne #ck predictions

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rhaaclaws · 2 years

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[puts on my tinfoil hat]

Yukako is The personification of comphet lesbianism im so serious about this.

As an important disclaimer, I’ll really only be talking on my experiences and how I interpreted her character. Comphet can get really complex, and it’s such a personal feeling so I can really only talk for myself, and how I related to Yukako in this specific aspect. Obviously you can think otherwise, but this is just how I see her. Plus this is just self indulgent since I like talking lol.

ok so first thing before I go insane about her. Compulsory heterosexuality [usually just shortened to comphet] is “the societal nudge that pushes folks into opting into heterosexual relationships regardless of whether or not they truly desire to do so,” according to Cheyenne M. Davis. Specifically to lesbianism, Angeli Luz (from the Am I a Lesbian? masterdoc) defines it as “Compulsory heterosexuality is what forces lesbians to struggle through learning the difference between what you’ve been taught you want (being with men) and what you do want (being with women), which is why so many lesbians have dated men at some point.” Admittedly, I don’t like the Am I A Lesbian? masterdoc too much, but I think it’s a good starting point for those who are questioning.

I’ve had many personal experiences with comphet, specially from my latino upbringing. I’ve unfortunately forced myself into relationships with guys because that’s what I was taught to do. I didn’t enjoy a single of those experiences, many times I had to think of my boyfriends as girls to get any sort of happiness. This led to some of the most awful experiences of my life. While talking to other lesbians, a lot of us can agree that it’s way different finding out you like women vs finding out you don’t like men. What I’m trying to say: comphet will make you do the craziest shit for the sake of denial.

Now, how does this relate to Yukako Yamagishi? We saw how obsessed she was with Koichi, literally going to the extreme of kidnapping him. Something I noticed is that she was setting the most impossible standards, so when she saw how he fit these specific characteristics [such as: his friendliness, politeness, being extremely reliable] she quickly began to obsess over him. When she found out he didn’t have perfect grades in english and math, she raised those standards again and tried to put him in her ‘perfect guy’ box again. Something that happened to me, and can also be described as comphet, is making up an imaginary guy that’s completely perfect [aka. someone who doesn’t exist] to be like Yeah I Totally Like Guys I Promise. She was also making shit up in that one scene at the café like “Koichi, I’ve noticed your face looks much more defined lately! You have such a confident and courageous demeanor. But when you smile, your face becomes so cute!” best friend you are so lonely you’re just trying to have a friend.

She also has such a fixation on perfection, and let’s be honest in a society where lack of relationships is seen as a personal failing, she immediately latched onto Koichi. She saw being drawn to him [yaknow, as a stand user] being like “ah! I am friends with a guy. I must love him because this is what I’m supposed to do”. She’s so strict because she needs everything to seem like her ‘reality’ of perfection. She becomes controlling and jealous over Koichi for these reasons.

This personality of perfection really shows the most in the Cinderella arc. She is known to literally have no friends, so she completely surrounds herself with the only ‘friend’ she has aka Koichi. She bases her entire identity on him because she has nothing to lose. In the Cinderella arc, it’s so explicitly shown she has no sense of identity, with the biggest example of her not being able to recognize her own face. When is Yukako forcing herself to be with Koichi, it doesn’t work so what she does is try to change everything about her appearance because in her mind, she’s unlovable otherwise.

Something I need to mention, Yukako’s writing isn’t... Very good. This isn’t even me being mad being like “well this story isn’t exactly how I wanted it, so it’s bad” but her arc is the last thing that should’ve happened. The goal of Cinderella shouldn’t have been “well Yukako and Koichi got together now! happily ever after <3″ Yukako should’ve learned to love herself and actually apologize for the shit she did to Koichi. She never had an actual consequence of her actions so she doesn’t actually have to change her ways. In my opinion, her character development would’ve been so much more fulfilling if she had actually grown and realized that the only person she needs to make happy is herself, and she grew past her goal of proving to herself that she is capable of being loved by other people. She only stayed in that cycle of perfection at the end because she achieved her ‘goal’ of being liked by Koichi.

Going back to my point of her being a lesbian, she literally says she likes Koichi because of his potential. I’m gonna be honest, that’s not a very #straight thing to say. She liked the idea of what he could be, not really of who he actually is. I interpret this as a moment of denial, she’s trying so damn hard to make herself like him that she fantasizes a fake version of him where he’s perfect.

Anyways. Yukako lesbian saurrrr true

#is this anything. im having a moment #i <3 saying shit #also idk if any of this makes sense. im not proofreading #anwyays. can u tell shes one of my favs. can you tell.#rhaa talks #long post #Yukako Yamagishi #praying this doesnt get to the wrong people bc i dont feel like fightingLOLLLL #jjba #Diamond is Unbreakable

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findursoulmateorfindyourself · 9 months

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its really still a problem. i am reading mark aurel which is all about focusing on urself and pracising kind hearted not comparing urself too others not envy and so on and then this stunning stunning stunning young woman comes, dark hair teint skin beuatifuk mouth beuatofuk smile suoer young oerfect akin very beautifuk body but akk in a very subtle way. she smiles to me i smile bavk i admire her but and this sistrubs me i still envy her. i wish i had her beauty and her eaziness soorit the effortless sex appeal. next to her i feek old, wasted and kind of trying to be ridicule. i need to wear rhose toght things to he recognized I need to really ahoe my hody but she is not doing anything kf jt and still glowing. but it ahoukd he omay and i ahoukd not feek bad aboht mysekf just because she js suoer stunning. why am i doing it. its all just to put myself down. but i knkw irs a fact a fact i just oainky should accept and mkve on. be grateguk for the bidy i am in as i an prraching everyday and saying hoe much i love myself now. apparently i am not there yet. hiw can i get over it and just recognize and cherish her beuaty fulk stop. i dont hate her fir being behaitfuk i just wish it coukd be me instead. i think my kifr woukd be so much better if i looked like that but what woukd be better? i know she is a beautifuk kind soul the way she smiles gives jt off. its not like i would be taking this beautiful body and losing a beautiful character bc she clearly has it all…so what am i scared for. the man or woman I like, likes her better fir her beauty and her character? so it be, then it simply means they are a better match. if she is oreferred for something like getting into a club I am not, so it be. it is not my oath to be in this club as it is not my path to be with this person. but then how to jot feel sorry for urself as it all just seems unfair. and i think this is the crucial part. everythingabout us is beautiful if we are doing it with a compass liek mark aurek out of honesty purity and kind hearted ness every little thought ( it is okay to be jealous I am not there yet) but I am really trying. I might bit get into the club, i should say c’est la vie, and might go hoke with a fresh mind crrating something amazing. it has the same value. or does it not? therr is no such thing as objectively speaking thats why POV became such a thing i guess but yes. lets try to oretend objectively which means a lot kf opinions gathered she is getting into the club meeting tons of amazing oeiple and sancing to incredibke music. over girl going home and chilking thwre no ine cates aboht her. but it is also with what aurek says caring about what ithers think and do its espeically the problem!! I inky have my now and here out if my eyes and my heart and it is supposed to be like that. and ofc im thinkinf hundert peopke consider it to he better like this or like that basically this is how democracy works, how can I vakidate my own opinion as much as them 100 if it comes to, it is the same good to be rejected and go hike than be in the club? its the same old same okd question about. which opinion values how can i crrate my value without the measurements of others. i am always coming to this. i sint want peiple to think i am a narcisisit egoman if i dont give a fuck aboht theyre opinions amd weigh mine way higher. it is trucky to maneuver in that mindest without becomung ignorant. but at the same time i dont want to live through grow through prosper thorigh affirmation hell no that aounds like hell. i want to affirm mysekf. it is maybe because ut is the sustainabke way. when we think about rivers and flyids which i cam to visualize when we had a saying about einfluss neglej und beeinflussen which also inckudes the river interesntinfky and aurel is talking alout aboht the stream and i think it is pary of live as blood is streaming through our veines and we need ghe water and the fluids, the circulation is life. bht coming back to the asoect of sustainabikty. listen imagine your own body giving ur own body ur own bacteria ur own blood cells when we tal

lol my paragrpah was maxed oht i do too much bla bla. but yes if we i somt want to go into biologism to much i never want to dsocirmante bodies espeicalky when it comes to genetics we always have to he carefuk to not get into any natuonalism discimnating fucked up shit. but I think my own body loves theri own system the most and it csn get a lot of her own system. its a little bit maybe kets talk about skin its better. my dahrer always refused to wash us too much as babies and in general he as this pladoyer: ur own bidy crrates fat that oeitect the skin, washing it away sith oerfumed shampoo gel to then out chemical body lotion sossnt seem to be an enhancement for the skin seems pretty ligicak to me. I mean everyone has their own bekiefs and ways but I kove to appreciate what my vody creates and what my body does. I know i am talking aboht an abled healthy skin ans i know some peiple just love to smeell like thousand rose leafs. byt i find that metaphor pretty good for also souk stuff. what my own body gives to my body is because it is healthy important disclaimer sensefull and good for me. it pribably matches my needs better than any artificial or natural product which fits affirmation from outside. of course fhe cream snells nice i feek fresh but then, my bidy get used to this crram wnats more of this crram and stips crrating its own fat to protect the skin maybe. I always have to buy this cream and its exterior, it will never last. i need it nee alk the time

i need rhat affirmation it feeks good but it wont last, my own afformation whereby comes naturally fits my needs and it is independent on any outer things. and this is why the value for me of my own affirmation wighs heavier than any of other people. i feel free and i feel good avoht jt but ifc still i am here comoaring mayelf to a maybe 19 year old woman that i wikk never be and never was. and its okay like fhaf but i need ti remind myself and i am disappointed inmyself still that it affects me so much and my head us gilled aitb it instead kf kther thints. but at the same time i lay down write this down and reflect on it so i hope i pray but i also

know that the next time i get inti a situation like that ill feel differently. I see feel hear taste the world thourgh my eyes and I love that I appreciate so many good food so much so many nice music ao many beuatofuk animals buidlings chikdrens families situations ( sometimes i dont of course madness, sexism, racism exploitation hatred and injsutice of the workd) but Its all meant for me. and i need tk accept and allrecate this. trhough my mind baby through my mind and love ur mind, it diesnt mean you think her mind sucks, it is beautifuk for sure, but its her mind her life her feelings hers and its good to see ssomeone havinf it like that its just an insoiratuon and a joy if beuaty and smiles which is for free and contagious( but Its all meant for me. and i need tk accept and allrecate this.

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