#but when it gets emotional I remember

[wanietheworld]

Yuki Kaji only had a few lines in this ep but MAN the feels in his voice during this scene truly memorable.

#I always forget he dub Shoto #but when it gets emotional I remember #first time during this season I really felt a sense of urgency #still hoping they are saving their best shot for the end #mha #mha spoilers #bnha #bnha spoilers #shoto todoroki #yuki kaji

[astearisms]

fionna and cake drawings before and after watching the episodes so far. it’s nostalgic and somehow cathartic and poignant and relatable and—it just started

#i’m part of the demographic where i was a kid when adventure time started and now watching fionna and cake as an adult makes me emotional #because did they keep us in mind when writing fionna and her attitude towards life #the dissatisfaction #the hoping for something more #something more magical than this dreary life filled with working to live and living to work #it’s so reflective of how life feels for me and perhaps many of us #and also Simon’s episode was so sad but so well thought out #exploring his feelings after the events of the adventure time finale is something I’m glad we get to see #there were already so many layers to his character in AT but now it feels like we get to dive deeper #I also felt emotional hearing Rebecca Sugar singing and writing a song that encapsulates his feelings so well #😭 it’s been awhile seeing her work exist alongside these characters #and all of these emotions get stronger because I remember AT being the one to inspire me to be a storyboard artist #when I was younger I used to follow many of the board artists here in tumblr and would get so inspired by them #to create simple but powerful boards that can capture the feelings of characters so well #Rebecca Sugar’s songs for the AT characters inspired me so much too #I’m sorry this is long I’m just feeling so many things experiencing all of this again as an adult #my art #fanart #adventure time #fionna and cake #fionna the human #cake the cat #simon petrikov

[soadscrawl]

i already posted abt this somewhere else but i was infodumping abt voltron to my best friend last night and went to rewatch the "i cradled you in my arms" scene so i could remember it properly and i paused right after lance said he didnt remember anything and im fucking pissing myself this is a man that is truly defeated like he wanted lance coming out of the healing pod to be like every fanfic where they have a crazy romantic reconciliation post healing pod and it simply did not happen. if i were keith here id flee the country. the look of simultaneous pain and confusion and emptiness is impossible to articulate. going thru every stage of grief at once. how they managed to fit this much anguish in so few lines is beyond me. and all over a man who listens to weezer and uses axe

#Keith get up ur embarrassing me #soad.txt #not art #voltron #klance #when i watched voltron for realsies for the first time in 2022 i remember being like damn klance aint shit i dont get the big deal #now rewatching it 2 years later im like FUCK KLANCE GOT HANDS #i dont remember if ive posted this before but we as a society dont acknowlege how insane it is that keith #well known for now showing a lot of emotion/having a hard time connecting with people #was practically on his hands and knees going I CRADLED YOUUUUUU #keith GET UP #anyways

[strrwbrrryjam]

"we need more complex female characters," you guys can't handle molly o'shea, mary gillis, abigail roberts, sadie adler, tilly jackson, marybeth gaskill, karen jones or susan grimshaw.

#karen tilly and marybeth dont get it as much people are usually quite kind or just completely forget about them #but they are included too. with susan molly mary sadie or abigail they get the worst treatment #being called either a bitch whiny mean asking too much emotional etc #i can understand why people can't handle susan. sometimes i can't handle susan #when i see her sometimes interact with the girls or remember the fact that she killed molly i'm genuinely disgusted but she's more than tha #there are layers to her. she's like dutch yet people still like him and try their damnedest to defend him #people might be surprised by sadie being included too but god the hate that she gets from mostly men for being 'overconfident' is insane #you have complex female characters yet you refuse to either give them a thought or completely disregard them as one negative quality #and refuse to recognize that they are just as complex as the men in this game #treat them as such #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 molly o'shea #molly o'shea #rdr2 susan grimshaw #susan grimshaw #rdr2 sadie adler #sadie adler #rdr2 abigail roberts #abigail roberts #rdr2 mary gillis #mary gillis #rdr2 tilly jackson #tilly jackson #rdr2 karen jones #karen jones #rdr2 mary beth gaskill #mary beth gaskill #rdr2 van der linde gang #van der linde gang

[natjennie]

I love that no matter how many fucking times alison gestures to exactly where the ghosts are mike will still look up in the air for them. the fact that he makes an attempt to interact directly with them instead of just always looking to alison is so charming. but also adhd king.

#mike cooper my bestie mike cooper #when julian records him talking about the house and he looks up and goes 'thanks julian' #like... he knows that means he's there and he believes enough to interact with them even when alison isnt there #like. he means so much to me #it would be so easy for him as a character to just always be the straight man #and be going along with it for alisons sake but then roll his eyes #but he doesnt!!! he trusts that they're there! he tries to talk to them when she's not there~!! #yeah maybe he's a little bit scared of them at first but then those are his wife's family! #that's his wife's group of friends and he wants to be included!! #he wants to know their inside jokes. he pays attention. he knows which one is which. #when alison says mary is gone he says #'the one that smells like toast and spies on me in the toilet' like. yeah she had more personality than that #but he remembers who she is!!!!!!!!!! #and acknowledges that alison needs to mourn! #i'm gonna sobBB!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #bbc ghosts #i cant watch ghosts high i get so emotional

[thranduel]

some thoughts about astarion because i'm tired of the internet reducing him to one thing

when bg3 came out in early access, astarion was always seen as the extremely flirty, confident guy who enjoyed sex (or so we thought) and spoke about it like it was his favourite thing. he was also kinda marketed as the “sexy vampire”, so you can understand why many people saw him that way based on the little amount of content we had. even while playing act 1 and act 2, many players still might think of him like that because he does have a very charismatic personality and he asks to sleep with you very early on, so it just automatically makes you think he’s genuinely happy doing that and being totally serious.

BUT!!!!!!! we end up finding out later on that’s NOT the case and it was all part of a plan to seduce us in order for him to gain protection. he opens up about his past and his trauma and how he was forced to use his body to lure people back to cazador. he struggles with intimacy and relationships in general because of this. that’s why i really hope that people stop reducing him to “hot sexy vampire that loves flirting and having sex with everyone” when that is not who he is, he’s literally traumatised because of sex due to being forced into it and he’s slowly trying to heal. he’s also so much more than just “the hot vampire”, ya know? if you actually put in the effort to get to know him, you will see who he truly is underneath and he has many loveable traits to appreciate.

you may not see the “soft” side of him very often because he hides it, but it’s there!! one thing i noticed that really stood out to me was that when i gave food to an orphan in act 3 and he approved. back when you first met him, he probably would’ve done the opposite or had no reaction at all. i also saw a clip of someone trying to romance karlach and astarion and he literally told tav to choose karlach over him because he can see that karlach loves her. he said normally an arrangement would work for him but after everything karlach has been through, he doesn’t want to get in the way or see her hurt. letting tav go is also hard for him as well but he still thought about someone else. he could’ve whined or been possessive or jealous but he didn’t do that at all. where are all those people who reduce astarion to “the guy that flirts and sleeps with everyone” now? seriously. that’s not what he does, and when he was forced into it by cazador, he was trying to survive, he didn’t do it for his own pleasure. it’s not a “hot” personality trait of his, it’s literally trauma. and because he did it so much, he got used to it, and that resulted in him disassociating and feeling empty.

apparently if you ask him to join you and sleep with the drows at the brothel (something i will never make him do in my playthroughs), he only says yes because he struggles to say no. but he disassociates. and if you’re in a high approval relationship with him and he loves you, he will feel safe enough to express his feelings and say he’s not comfortable. this happens before you fight cazador. i’m not sure if he gives the same response after, but either way, if he joins in, he will always disassociate and it’s not something he wants to do despite what he may say.

that being said, it’s obviously still okay to appreciate his beauty and attractiveness, because he is very beautiful. he appreciates it and even likes being called beautiful. calling him “hot” and “sexy” isn’t a bad thing either, we know he can be and i'm sure he knows it too! it’s just annoying when people act like that’s ALL he is and they don’t even mention anything else about his character. the love scenes are beautifully done too (i personally prefer the second one after you’ve stopped him from doing the ritual, because that’s the one where he decided he truly wanted it and felt safe and comfortable because he genuinely loves you), and i actually would’ve been fine if they didn’t have any scenes like that at all because it’s totally understandable and valid if he didn’t feel comfortable, but i just hope that people don’t take things too far and over-sexualise him just because of how he appeared to be in the first half of the game and the way he’s often marketed on social media. and yes i know he’s fictional and nothing on the internet is going to hurt his feelings!!!! it’s more about the fact that he canonically has sexual trauma and many people still say really disturbing stuff even AFTER they find out about that, and it just makes me uncomfortable to think that people are okay with treating someone like a sexual object especially when they've said they're traumatised and it makes them uncomfortable. idk if this makes sense 😭

but yeah he doesn't want to flirt and sleep with everyone as i've seen people claim. and if in an alternate universe he did, and he did it on his OWN terms, and the other people he had relationships with enjoyed it too, then good for them! absolutely nothing wrong with that if there's consent, respect and honesty. however, that's not the case with what happened with astarion, because 1. he was forced into using his body WHEN HE DID NOT WANT TO and 2. he misled people and lured them to a miserable fate. it's so horrible and devastating for everyone involved. sex was never something fun for him, and it certainly isn't a "personality trait" of his. it was a survival tactic. he was forced to. he didn’t want to.

obviously when he becomes more comfortable, then it's totally understandable to get excited when he flirts and shows physical affection. he can be so charming, funny, sweet and romantic and i love that. it’s so beautiful to see him heal, genuinely find comfort in someone for the first time and experience intimacy that he feels ready and comfortable for. he deserves to love and be loved on his own terms instead of being forced. but again, he is so much more than the guy we were introduced to at the beginning. the internet just sees one thing and sticks with it but i really hope people start to actually appreciate him for who he is and the complexity of his character.

aaaaand i just had to leave this here <3

#astarion #baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 #sorry for rambling i’ve just been very emotional about him recently 😭 #also i hope people remember that even if he NEVER EVER wanted to have sex again he is 100% valid #he does not have to change or force himself to feel a certain way #especially after everything he’s been through #and if you think he does then you’re gross. he doesn’t owe anyone ANYTHING #anyways #when he kept apologising for not sleeping with tav i wanted to cry #there is literally a scene where if you tell him halsin is interested in you he says it’s ok to go to him #but then he gets concerned and asks if it’s because he hasn’t slept with you for a while #and i wanted to cry #he should NEVER have to feel guilty for that #honestly the only reason why i think he might eventually feel comfortable with sex again is because -> #in act 3 after his genuine love confession after you help him defeat cazador he initiates it himself #and it feels like it’s something he truly wants after developing a strong emotional bond with someone for the first time #and i think that’s really beautiful that he chose to do it on his own terms when he felt ready #but also #for a while i wasn’t sure if he was repulsed and uncomfortable by sex in general and hated it entirely #or if he only feels comfortable after he develops a strong emotional bond #the only reason i think the second one now is because of what happened in act 3 #but regardless whatever it is i just want him to feel safe and comfortable and happy #my posts

[h0estar]

Yukine's journey toward acceptance of the life that was robbed of him, this time with finality, exemplifies the emotional and beautifully rendered arc that has defined his character.

Yukine finally accepting the reality of his death. Yukine stepping out from the fridge that contained memories of what was once his life. Yukine freeing himself from the shackles of his trauma. Yukine running to protect the person who cherished him the most in the world. Yukine standing up to an abusive father. Yukine wholeheartedly apologizing. Yukine's growth, and Yato tearing up as he stretches his little arms to pull him for an embrace.

Yukine's gratitude for what Yato did for him is evident throughout the series. He was given a name more precious than any other. He was treated like a human--an ordinary teenage boy. And life after that was one exciting journey after another. Now, Yukine can no longer be entirely consumed by the horrors of his past because he knows that his reality with Yato is so much brighter. Far brighter.

Yukine could break out from that refrigerator because of the true, sincere, and nurturing love shown by the only father figure in his life. Yato has said multiple times throughout the series that Yukine was his priority above all else, and Yukine was the only person he swore to protect the most. Hell, he even went straight to hug him after Yukine apologized for turning into that form! Yato did not need to summon Yukine. Yukine came to protect Yato on his own decision. As he always did.

The journey to their healing will be painful, and this chapter shows that Yato and Yukine will face it together. No more secrets and no more miscommunications. They will help and be by each other's side as they always have, not only as god and shinki but, this time, as family.

"I will not let him die. Not Yato. No matter what happens... I swear I won't let anyone take him from me!" -Yukine, Noragami Vol. 17 Chapter 67.

#noragami manga #noragami 104.2 #ah yes i've finally calmed down #i am still however sad as fuck but at the same time relieved #my boys have reconciled and i look forward to the yato and yukine duo once again :') #i was rereading my fave chapters and i missed seeing them in battle TOGETHER #hopefully we get that next chapter when they completely annihilate father <3 #i love them so much and i love this series sm #i will never shut up abt them man. their father and son dynamic is one of the best and i will stand by this till the day i die #i remember a post i made abt hoping yukine's life w yato will outweigh the grief of his past #and it did :'))))) it really did. yukine realized that himself and now he is back with yato #he is back by yato's side. the place where he rightfully belongs #i'm so emotional rn holy shit i've had this chapter dominate my head for the whole day today #anw WAR IS OVER LADIES Yukine has come back home 😭🫶 #noragami #noragami spoilers #yukine #yato #mine

[serrangelic-art]

the bestiessss

#DO NOT SEPARATE THEM #grandpa needs his emotional support hacker #overwatch #siebren de kuiper #sigma #sombra #my art #fanart #i was so disappointed in starwatch when there was no sombra #no wonder siggy's evil he doesnt have his granddaughter #TAG EDIT: i learned like a day after posting this that story mode and pve were two different things #so from the leaked voicelines i remember #sigma will get some story attention!!!!!! PLEASE i need more sig and sombra interaction theyre adorable #olivia colomar

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS #REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT #NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS #THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS. #ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of #another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY.. #i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her #idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had #when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them. #but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore. #but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think #i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow. #ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that #AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE #I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME #THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE #WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL #in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad #this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks- #-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl- #-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi #gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show #i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!! #anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM

[spielzeugkaiser]

[First Part] - [second]

Baby (who still has no name) is warming up to Geralt, who also starts to connect some dots. (Like, I think he suspects that he's Jaskiers son, adopted or otherwise, but he won't even humor the idea that he could be the dad.) That being said - the kid is an angry teenager sometimes. Jaskier tried all he could as a single parent and they have a very loving relationship, but I also think they do argue quite a bit, and there is some tension.

And the more he gets to learn how Geralt truly is the weirder is gets, cause. He's a good guy? And either Jaskier is petty and was too dramatic and kept him from meeting his dad for nothing, or Geralt isn't a good guy AT ALL and has hurt Jaskier really bad, and he doesn't think Geralt has it in him, but some people (and especially alphas) get really weird and archaic around omegas? And he had to witness again and again, with how little respect his unbonded, single father of a bastard child was treated - is Geralt like that too? But Jaskier still only ever talked somewhat kindly about him. And from all he saw... he trusts Geralt. He's a quiet, but witty and honorable man. But is it fair to doubt the parent that was there for him, that raised him, that sacrificed so much for him? The poor kid is so conflicted.

#please tell me your headcanons and prompts about this 'verse it's just vibes so far and like 10% plot #geraskier #geralt of rivia #the witcher #ciri #omegaverse #geraskier lovechild #jaskier #i don't know where this came from #but I imagined the kid as quite sickly (which is ironic) - Geralt does not really remember that he was sick as a child all the time too #also I do think Jaskier can play the lute but it's no fun for his fingers and he switched to other stuff over the years #I'm quite sure that Jaskier kept a low profile after the Rience incident because he was TERRIFIED by the thought what could have happened #also I really wanted to look at this with a kind of more realistic lense when it comes to parentage #and Jaskier did all the things right where it counts #He's loving he's emotional open he communicates - but would Jaskier always be a reliable parent? a structured one? an easily available one? #I don't think so #professor Jaskier can work for hours on end and forget to get you on time from your play date so you have to awkwardly wait and #he forgets to cook and to wash and it's always messy and once he writes he writes and gets annoyed when interrupted #but he also tells bedtime stories and stays at your bedside when you're ill and plays with you when you moved AGAIN and have no friends yet #he's easily pulled into arguments but also knows how to apologise #but he lies again and again #and he tells heroic and brave and honourable stories about your dad but still has a chest with your unsend letters and looks so so sad #when you put another one in his hands #and he never tells you to stop but doesn't send them and you know your Papa would be too kind to ask you to stop #ALSO #I think the kid is old enough to understand some of the inherent consent issues that are rampant in omegaverse #and while I imagined that 'verse here a bit tuned down #I think that the kid has seen and heard some shit! and what if Jaskier in only talking kindly of Geralt to soften the blow for him and- #kid is 100% ready to break Geralts nose if it turned out that he forced himself on his pa #(which he did not ofc but nobody communicates here)

[quaranmine]

i think the whole cringe is dead, radical sincerity, depth of genuine emotion, earnest effort, and unironic love thing that tumblr has going on the past few years has transformed my outlook on things and changed me for the better. but it does mean that now the people i know irl will give me strange looks for being too sappy or too poetic or too dedicated or too excited about about something because they're still stuck in their "well i only like this ironically" phase. guess that's their problem tho not mine <3

#like on here i could spontaneously decide to write a poem about life & love & death & the dying peace lily on my parent's porch #and everybody would be like omg love it #or i could write essays analyzing mcrp. or dig up documents from 1910 and 1956 for fanfic research #and everyone is like 🤩 #and in real life there's like a 90% chance anybody would just be like. that's good for you....you're a little weird though..... #or i will say something i was thinking about and people will get all cynic on me or something #SORRY for having a writer's/artist's/photographer's brain i guess and seeing the beauty in the world #idk idk so many people i meet irl are allergic to genuine expressions of emotion or artistry #there was a lady i saw on the train once who was reading a densely-written pocket sized planner...from 2013 #i think about her sometimes. was that her planner? were those good memories? was she trying to remember something? has it been a kind decade #and when i told my dad he couldn't at all see anything i saw in the moment. he just made jokes about her being crazy #but i liked the moment

[zeb-z]

I’ve made a billion fucking drafts and can’t find the words to talk about cellbit and bagi from today. how the fuck do you explain the intricacies between a brother who has lived a life that has sharpened him to cut what he touches, and a sister who had to live with his absence? a man who has to see the childhood he never got to have whenever he looks at the woman he now knows is his twin? said twin who cannot understand why her brother would be anything but glad they are reunited? how do you get across that tangled mess of emotions cellbit had to get him to burn his old pet worm? the paradox of longing for what could have been while desperate to get rid of any reminder, with a healthy dose of paranoia that anything could be a federation bug. or the pure devotion bagi has to decide to stick with her brother even though he is not close to the same as he was when he went missing? the unfairness of it all, of cellbit being taken and made into a killer before he turned 14, of bagi looking for him at the detriment of her own safety and self, of ripped up childhoods and everything that could have been? the fact that the first thing cellbit asks is what he could have done to deserve it? the disgust he holds for himself for what he’s done, and the anger he has for the federation that’s taken everything from him, and the resentment he has towards bagi no matter how unfair it is because she never had to go through what he did? how after bagi swore to help him burn the federation down, cellbit went to bad instead, because bad was there and fought alongside him, and he trusts bad because he’s seen him at his worst, and all he feels like doing is his worst right now? the two of them so similar still because they’re consumed by their need for revenge, while bagi just wants to leave the island? how the fuck can you summarize all this and the emotions that accompany it?

#adding this here a lil too late but bagi’s own resentment because she’s been looking for years and he’s been doing nothing even though he #doesn’t remember #like great! you put more childhood trauma and the feeling you get coming home to a place that isn’t home anymore in my minecraft rp :/ #like. fuck what do we do with all this??? #there’s such a specific visceral anguish around ruined childhood and knowing that things will never be like the good old days again yknow? #especially when said childhood ruiner is ‘I was taken from my home and made to fight in a literal war’ like wtaf #or when it’s losing a sibling and missing them like a lost fucking organ #sorry if this is too train of conciousness I’m tired and word vomiting and emotional at all this pfkdjfjs #idk I have thoughts I cannot verbalize about this. tv static in my chest #all this lead up to tomorrow where Cellbit will finally meet hatsune miku #mcyt #qsmp #cellbit #q!cellbit #bagi #q!bagi #q!bbh #z speaks

[swordheld]

hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?

hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].

but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.

it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.

and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.

the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.

an emptiness, like you said.

but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.

you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.

he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.

but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.

how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.

the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.

think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.

i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.

but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.

as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛

#q&a. #birdsong. #wishing u gentle ease; the death of a loved one is near inexplicable to put into words and i hope you take care of yourself gently <3 #i hope this will make u laugh: when i was a tiny child in middle school there were times i would go outside in my tiny suburban cul de sac- #in the rain and sing along to my lil ipod nano and i only remember doing this to drops of jupiter. can you imagine going out to get the mai #after a long day of work and you just hear this kid singing train in the streets. in the RAIN.... it makes me laugh like i really. #i really thought i was so cool and deep and emotional ghjkd but i find it v funny that i only remember it w/ that one train track. #and saturn just. it's my fav s.a.l. song for a reason. that slow violin opening? the piano coming in gentle and easy? #it feels like light. like hope. like something new - a dawn after the long dark. that beautiful things can begin again even where #it hurts. and there is nothing more human than a sentiment like that. #how rare and beautiful it is to truly exist. what it is to be alive and get to be here and live with other people. with those we love. #i think your grandfather was so lucky to be able to know you. to have you in his life for the time you had together. #i'm no spiritual person; but i like to believe when you're thinking about him? he's thinking about you too. #the second law of thermodynamics (physics nerd mode) is that no energy has ever been created/destroyed since the beginning of the universe. #so it has to go somewhere - it's that carl sagan quote of 'we're all made of stardust'. because we are. we used to be stars; planets; etc. #i think it's why i think of these space songs - because they're a part of everything; once more; when they go. us and everything else.

[gaylightisminetocommand]

you don't understand i was obsessed with Night at the Museum as a kid and i loved Jed and subconsciously shipped him with Octavius before i even knew you were allowed to ship two boys together, heck, before i even knew what shipping was, and now Owen Wilson is Mobius and it's the same fucking thing again where he's playing a heavily queer-coded character but the media they're in forces him to call his soulmate his 'friend' but there's no fucking way they're straight but this time around i know what shipping is and i know what homosexuality is and maybe d*sney will never let them kiss but hell if that's gonna stop me from losing my mind over them-

#they mean so much to me #both lokius and jedtavius #it's like. now i know that's allowed #and shit may not be ideal regarding lgbt representation in media but at the very least we can have our fun with it #and it's kinda funny that my gay awakening was fucking. night at the museum. #but in all seriousness when i think about how young i was feeling those feelings i couldn't explain #wondering why i wanted two boys to kiss when 'that's so silly!' #'boys don't kiss boys!' #'they kiss girls!!!' #i just. get a little emotional. like i know i've always 'been this way' but i find comfort in every little thing like this i can point to #*remembers the subject of this post is tiny gay people and time travelling gay people* anyways- #gaylight post #loki #loki series #natm #lokius #mobius #marvel loki #night at the museum #owen wilson #tom hiddleston #jedtavius #natm jedediah #natm octavius

[lunarharp]

autumn witches

#witch hat tag #orufrey #just random-ass stuff....sigh...so i'll just throw it together...some followups on the oru birthday comic... #i seem really fixated on this little 'kissed on the cheek and now what' era.. i wanted to draw happy future actual kiss art today #but like. No. i can't. they're not there yet. in my current cycle. why do i truly live alongside characters that arent even mine #i also want to draw emotional art to get out stuff but i keep doing dorky gentle comics. Probably means something #there was tsukigumi yesterday. Anyone remember when i was a takarazuka artist. but i was so tired lol. reikoumi were there. drinking beck's #my estranged dad (who lives in germany) IS WAY OBSESSED WITH BECK'S so it was a lot. For me #ORU IS NEVER ALLOWED TO DRINK THAT. EVER. DON'T BE A BECK'S DAD.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

If Howdy and Barnaby ever married, would Howdy wear a ring on only lne hand or get 4 rings for all of his 4 hands? This came to mind so ramdomly aBSJZNSJDN I'm sorry 😭😭

i've been thinking that he'd have two rings for both of his left hands

#or. no probably just one for his upper left to cut down on costs #a whole extra ring would be expensive smh #gotta remember that he's a filthy capitalist through and through... #rambles from the bog #barnaby would present him with two rings while proposing #and howdy would start crying - not out of happiness #but bc of the wasted money. why would barn spend so much extra when he didnt need to #howdy would take him back to the jewelry store to refund one #and Thats how barn finds out his proposal was accepted #'just one?' 'YES just one i dont need two' '🥺' 'why are you looking at me like that' #cut to the very awkward jeweler trying to pretend like theyre not there while barn gets Emotional & then howdy gets emotional #bc the two of them are a fucking feedback loop <3