#but yeah i thought i'd share that with my answer 'cause i think it's linked to the subject

[mobumi]

Well, first I wanted to say that I love your analyzes and thank you for always answering our questions. You know, I wanted to know when Arajin's redemption will be, let's go to episode 9 and with no redemption I see a comment on Instagram saying that it wouldn't be bad if at the end of the anime Matakara and Arajin are no longer friends I would love it because I want Matakara recognize that your best friend is zabu. what do you think?

Thanks! No problem it's fun :)

I don't think Arajin needs a redemption arc to be honest, it would be too predictable anyway and there are only 4 or 5 episodes left. Yeah he's annoying and all but he didn't do much, at least to the point that he needs redemption cause for me it's for characters who are truly horrible at the beginning, like he's not a bully, but Arajin is just dumb, in his own Shojo anime and fails to function as a normal human being (I still think he was too insensitive and crossed the lines in ep 8 but that's besides the point). Sure, his attitude affects others but he's not a horrible person, selfish yes, pathetic yes, not horrible. We know he has a good heart and pretends not to care. Matakara believes it too. He only wears a mask and that is why a lot of people still like him.

I made a post a while ago about how Arajin and Matakara were the same, but Matakara was written better and I still stand by it. There's a connection between the two, an obvious parallel. Matakara has this idealized version of Arajin like Arajin as one for Mahoro and they act the same in some ways. The difference is that Matakara actually grew up with Arajin, he didn't invent what he saw in his friend. They made a promise when they were younger and Arajin gave him a friendship stone. He was actually kind and caring, Matakara didn't imagine that, he lived it, so it makes sense that he thinks Arajin is still like that years later. His vision of him is not coming out of nowhere. He got attached to this Arajin who was truly himself, but he didn't see him grow. That's the disconnection.

From the moment Arajin ghosted Matakara and went on with his life, their bond was broken, only Matakara didn't realize it at first because Arajin was part of his dream of becoming Honkibito and one of the people who gave him strength. He thought the reason Arajin didn't talk to him anymore was because he wasn't strong enough. Arajin doesn't think he's strong enough as well, he wants validation (from Mahoro) and he flees from his fear of being weak. When Matakara lost his belief, he lost his identity too and that made him terrified. I think he knew from the beginning that something seemed off with Arajin, but he didn't want to believe it because that would mean he's alone and his beliefs and dream would be gone. Who will he be without it? So I don't think that Mata is completely fooled by Arajin but mostly he's scared because if his role model is not who he thought he was, he has no hope left. Matakara needed this realization to let go of Arajin.

What I mean by all of this is that the same thing is going to happen to Arajin. It's not necessarily redemption he needs but the same realization Matakara had in episode 8. He needs to break out of the spell and accept the true Mahoro so he can let go of her too.

Both characters are going to come face to face with the truth, with reality, and either they're going to bond again over this or they're going to be their own person without each other and find peace. But I think with this parallelism, they also seem to be made for each other like they're one piece of each other if that makes sense? The universe (aka Utsumi) wants them together (as friends or allies, enemies, whatever defines them.)

They're not going to change completely, especially Arajin, but I can see them accepting who they are in the end. Their perspectives on each other are going to change, their views, their beliefs, but not their true identity. In the 1001 nights tale, and notably in the Disney movie "Aladdin", Jasmine and Aladdin hide their true identities. Aladdin pretends to be a prince to get Jasmine's attention and marry her. She met him before but doesn't recognize him. It's only at the end that Ali Ababwa disappears, his mask is gone and his true self is revealed to her. Meanwhile, she hides that she's a princess and dresses as a "commoner" so she can see the world. Shit keeps happening to them when they're not true to themselves just like Aladdin and Jasmine.

So yeah, I guess just like those characters they're going to be free from themselves and it's going to free Senya and Ichiya as well because they're trapped in their bodies. Senya thinks that he needs to merge with Arajin to see Ichiya again but the only way I think is for them to be themselves without Arajin and Matakara. It's interesting that the moment they are both linked to Senya and Ichiya was a moment where they were running away from fear, the genies came when they were hopeless, so I think there's this idea that they can't be themselves if the genies are still possessing them and using them. But if they overcome their fears, they will get their bodies back, more exactly their mind and heart 👀.

Moreover, in the original Aladdin story, "Aladdin and the Magic Lamp" which apparently takes place in China 👀, Aladdin is not perceived as a pure-hearted hero. He wants the princess but he's not interested in her personality or her feelings, so just like Arajin he's a flawed hero who gets what he wishes for...

So no, I don't expect a redemption for Arajin, especially with the tone of the show. Not because he's bad and he'll stay bad, but mostly because he's not the villain of the story, just a reflection of humanity. His character was intended to be like that and to be his true self he needs to let go of his fear, that's the only thing i can see for him. The real question is will his wish come true? He's supposed to get what he wants, get the girl. If it doesn't happen then something else waits for him and I really want to see what the resolution will be. I don't think that in the end Arajin and Matakara no longer being friends will be the answer, it's more than that. Although I imagined there is going to be a reconnection whether they're back being friends or not.

You know what? Maybe we were fooled as viewers. Matakara is actually Aladdin but with Jasmine's personality and Arajin is his Jasmine with Aladdin's personality. But because of their names we thought it was the other way around. Like one of his closest friends is literally Zabu= Abu. It's different than the original story but their dynamic is kinda the same. Idk, I can see it. They're interchangeable. But yeah, Aladdin gets what he wants, so all is going to end well for Arajin, but we have yet to see what will be Matakara's wish...

#bucchigiri?! #bucchigiri #sorry my answer ended up in a full analysis 😂 #but yeah i thought i'd share that with my answer 'cause i think it's linked to the subject #anyway i can be totally wrong but that would be interesting 🤔 #anonymous asks #answered asks

[words-of-wolf]

Content warning: this post contains mentions of wolves hunting other animals, and some thoughts on the subject. Nothing I'd consider graphic, but I know it can be sensitive for some folks so I thought I'd warn beforehand!

Hhh, it's a bit hard to know where to start with getting back into writing about my experiences.

It's not that I don't have anything to say - it's the opposite! There's so much I'd like to share. I've always loved talking about my experiences... maybe a bit self-indulgent, but I like to think it can help other folks too, and I've gotten many interesting conversations out of it in the past, so no regrets!

Can't imagine I'll be posting big things like this frequently, but I'll happily answer questions and chat too. ^u^

So... right now, what I've decided I'd like to write about is some of the, I guess kinda fundamental aspects of my identity as a wolf therian.

It's interesting in a way, because there are so many wolves around - there's a lot of people to compare experiences against! I guess, if you have a rare kintype, or a kintype that's varied enough that your individual variation of it is rare (like dragons) - it might be hard to imagine that a wolf would struggle to find other people they relate to. But then, well: there's me.

I don't think anyone's nonhuman experiences are wrong. I don't think anyones' are "superior" either; it's just about who you are as an individual, what feels right and comfortable to you. I just wanted to get that across! Cause what I'd like to talk about does involve some comparison between my feelings and the things I've seen expressed by other wolf therians, and I wouldn't want it to be read as me saying my way of being as any better than anyone elses' (it's not).

During my time in the kin and therian communities (which, I first encountered over ten years ago now, but my activity has been very on-and-off since I reached adulthood) I've met so, so many wolf therians. It's... hmm, complicated for me, in a way? Because I felt very isolated, especially when I was younger, and I felt like wolf therians were supposed to be "my people". But really, I could count on both hands how many wolves I've met that I really related to on any level.

And the reason for that is the same now as it's always been: for a lot of wolf therians, being a wolf seems to be a kind of violent, bloodthirsty identity. The "predator" feeling is strong; there's some affinity for the thrill of the kill, the violence of it all.

That's not a bad thing. It's not wrong! But my experience has been... very different from that.

My perception of wolfhood isn't really "red in tooth and claw" like that. It's more... simple. Not peaceful really - life as a wolf is full of trials and strife - but the violence never felt defining for me. In terms of personal importance, the feelings of wanting to hunt, to fight, to bite and maim... I'd be lying if I said they were entirely absent, but they were always tertiary to things that seemed far more present and central.

I think a big part of that is... well, for context, I believe my wolf identity is linked to a past life. Yeah, stereotypical, I know! But it's genuinely what I experience; I do remember that life, or at least aspects of it. And those memories influence a lot of my experiences in my current life as a wolf-person.

The thing that strikes me most when I compare my own perspective on wolfhood to the ideas often expressed by other wolf therians, is that to me, hunting wasn't violence. It couldn't be violence.

Why? Because I just plain didn't realise that the deer and other animals we killed were living things.

There was no... room to even consider that idea. I didn't know that the deer I drove to exhaustion felt pain and terror, same as I did. I just knew I was hungry and it was food.

It's a strange thing to consider, isn't it? People talk a lot about "what makes us human". I don't think there's any one thing that does. But if I were to point to one of the most jarring, and one of the most utterly sacred parts of being human to me, it would be the ability to connect emotionally with other species.

Humans are not unique for doing that. And maybe there's some animals a wolf could come to see as an individual, in the way I would've seen another wolf. But a deer would never be that. Which contrasts strangely with me, now, as a human: where I can love pigs, and care about their welfare and treatment, but still enjoy some bacon or a porkchop. That can conflict, sometimes, yeah - but from a wolf perspective, that would be incomprehensible. At least, from my experiences it would be.

And if you remove the idea of violence from hunting, suddenly a wolf's life doesn't seem very violent at all. The act of hunting and killing prey animals felt no more violent to me, than when I cook up a steak for myself now. To someone, that would be violent, but to me it's just a steak - y'know? I know the steak comes from a cow, but that fact brings me neither grief nor pleasure. It's just kinda how the world is and I'm mostly okay with that.

The act of hunting was, I'd say, something I enjoyed as a wolf. I loved the chase. It was fun. Taking down prey could be scary; even a deer is dangerous when cornered and desperate. But the thing with nature is that it makes what you have to do to survive feel desirable: so risking my life for a meal felt thrilling, in a way, and a full belly afterwards was satisfying, and comforting, and a relief from the usual gnaw of hunger.

Hunting's only a small part of being a wolf, though. Even setting aside all the attempted hunts that fall through before you even get into a full sprint.

A lot of wolf life focuses on territory. In some places, it's a very intense, almost war-like conflict; constant, bloody, often fatal. Not always, though. It depends a lot on the intensity of the ecosystem you live in: a place with lots of prey attracts lots of wolves, who then compete for access. If the prey's more spread out, the wolves are more spread out too... and an area of land feels less worth dying for when you've got so many others to search.

Me and my pack were one of the latter varieties. Territorial conflicts were rare, for us; I don't recall any specifically. We patrolled, we marked our space. Territorial disputes were something I was aware of, I think - if I saw a trespasser I certainly would've acted with aggression - but it just wasn't a common occurrence.

So my experience of being a wolf didn't feel like it was defined by violence much. It didn't feel bloody and raw. I could see myself in the image of a wolf that snarls, maybe, but moreso I see myself in the image of the wolf that sleeps, or - perhaps most of all - the wolf that wanders.

And that's what existence as a wolf was, and is for me! It's wandering. It is the neverending search. Even when you find what you need, the relief can't last long - you need to move on soon, you need to seek again soon, because it won't be long before your empty belly's gnawing at your insides again. It wasn't ever a life of violence, it was a life of travel, for the good and the bad of it: for the new sights and new smells and new opportunities; for the exhaustion, the uncertainty, the sore paws and aching muscles.

And the restlessness. The need to keep moving. Keep going. Keep searching, always searching.

But, of course, that's still not the centre piece of the puzzle. Because that could only ever, of course, be the pack.

This is something I'll probably dedicate time to writing about all on its own, because I have such deep feelings about "the pack" as a concept, and also about my pack, who I lived for in my last life.

But I will say that all of my deepest, most vivid, and most impactful memories... they're not of the hunt, they're not about territory or conflict or hunger. What I remember most richly is the love I felt for my pack. It's a feeling I can't quite find it in me to explain; sometimes I wonder if the reason I identify as loveless in this life, is simply because no love I've ever felt as a human could compare to what I felt as a wolf.

I think there's a kind of synergy between the simple mind of a wolf, and the feelings a wolf experiences: in the quiet of an animal's mind, emotions seem so much stronger, so much more vivid somehow. I feel that even now, when I have a mental shift, and the logic and reason falls away - all that's left is emotion and physical senses, and they paint a picture so, so bright.

And those past life memories that I hold dearest, they have a similar quality to them... to curl up with my family after a long day of travel. Or listen to their happy snores as we all sleep off a full belly. And playing with the pups... I was a very fun wolf-uncle. And those pups were my joy, light of my whole life! <3

So... yeah. That's what being a wolf is to me.

It's not the only way to be a wolf. It's not the "right" was vs anyone else's "wrong". This is just what wolfhood is to me personally. Maybe other wolves will see something of themselves in this, maybe not! Either way, I appreciate the time you took to read my rambling. It feels nice to carve out a place in my life again where I can really talk about this stuff. c:

#therianthropy #wolf therian #wolfkin #past life #spiritual therian #spiritual kin #tw animal death

[imasfnek]

Okay, just imagine:

Stargazing after averting the Second coming in season 3. (Or, perhaps, just imagine my poem "Stargazing" (link will be bellow cuz idk how to do anything apparently) but longer and upgraded. I guess.)

Just imagine this:

"Do you stargaze?"

The angel turned his head to face his companion.

"I can't say it's a habit of mine."

They were both laying next to eachother on the ground. It was a cold night. The grass was wet and the only light source were the stars above them.

"Pity."

"Why?"

"Because every time you look at them you're forced to marvel at their beauty, their glory. They're shards of hope scattered across the night sky in a never-ending universe. They're so close and so far apart and yet, they still shine brighter than any smile you'll see. They're far more enjoyable than any earthly pleasure you can possibly think of, so... so simple yet so complex, so mundane yet so bewitching, so... gorgeous. But people hardly even glance at them, let alone appreciate how divine, angelic even, they are."

The angel turned his gaze to the stars again.

"I've never thought of it that way before."

"Yeah. Not a lot of people do."

There was a comfortable silence between the two. Well, comfortable for the demon, anyway. The angel had one particular question on mind - a question that he was afraid to ask because it could cause pain. But, as much as he was afraid, he was curious. And after a while curiosity was the one standing in the battlefield of the angel's mind.

"Did you look at the stars often when I was... away?"

Another pause occured. The angel looked in the demon's direction again. He saw a slight frown on his face and contemplation in his yellow eyes that stayed bright even in the dark around them.

"Yeah." The demon finally answered. "Seeing more you than the constellations. Wishing you would come back. I always wondered if we were maybe watching then at the same time. Thinking the same things."

He almost regretted saying those words. It was terrifying, admiting to these feelings after so long of keeping them to himself. Especially to this particular angel who made him feel that way.

"We were." The angel said after what felt like forever to the demon.

"What?" He turned his head, looking at the angel.

The angel almost swallowed his words out of fear of the consequences. He didn't know what would happen if he continued his statement, and yet there was something thrilling about that. He had nothing to fear but himself. So he continued.

"We were. Watching them at the same time. Thinking the same things. I watched the stars every night thinking of you. Trust me, my dear, I wanted to come back, I just couldn't." He looked at his companion again.

"Yeah I know. Supreme archangel duties and all that." There was a hint of bitterness in the demon's voice.

"Crowley. I needed to stop the Second coming. The Metatron and the others were going to destroy the earth and wipe out the human race. It didn't work out last time and they were very eager to try again. You know this."

"You came to me for help. I remember."

"And I'm forever grateful you offered it."

The demon finally locked eyes with the figure that was now sitting up beside him.

"I'm glad you're back, angel. Even if it was just to save the humans."

"It wasn't. I missed you, dear. I really did. I hope I can stay this time so we can perhaps... be an us. Here. What do you say?"

The demon smiled.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'd like that."

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens 3 #neil gaiman #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #fanfic #fluff #i love stargazing headcanons #david tennant #and #michael sheen #would act the fuck out of this #and we'd all be here for it

[kimdokja-real]

Hello, an anon here to answer your question of if you've gotten people to like dokjoong. I've spent a lot of time thinking about it and honestly, the answer was very simple in the end... I've put it into a ghostbin since it would be far too much for your inbox: paste( . ) bingner ( .) com / paste / e9b72 .

Hey, sorry for the late reply. I've been feeling a bit down recently.

Honestly, I was surprised when I read what you wrote. I had no idea anything of that was going on in Twitter at all.

I don't know whether to feel glad there are enough Dokjoong shippers to advocate for the ship even if it's in a bad way, or to not feel good because even though there are more Dokjoong shippers than I thought, they are doing something not good.

One reason could be though that JoongDok fans tend to objectify KDJ, for example they even call him 'whoreja' (which I don't like), and some people may not like that. DokJoong fans at least don't do that with Yoo Joonghyuk.

When I searched the Dokjoong tag on Twitter, there was barely anything.

My experience shipping DokJoong has been rather fulfilling but also lonely. JoongDok is the much more popular pairing so it can feel a bit lonely shipping DokJoong at times. I didn't know there were enough Dokjoong shippers somewhere else to fight for the Dokjoong pairing, honestly.

I asked that question cause in a previous fandom, I was doing analyses like I do for DokJoong, for that pairing in the previous fandom, and out of nowhere I got someone saying 'Hey I used to be a hater of the pairing 4 years ago but your analyses are really convincing and make sense and I turned from a hater of the ship to embracing it being canon.'

Then when I see the views on my Dokjoong A03 fics sometimes, well..........so for example, a fic can have 2500+ views, and I wonder, 'Is there even that many Dokjoong shippers around? I thought it's an unpopular pairing. Did I make people like Dokjoong with my analyses or something?'

That's why I asked that question. I was curious. Last time I had about 1000+ followers and I helped a person like the pairing when they initially did not like it, unintentionally, so I wondered if the same thing could be happening. So I asked, but I guess not haha.

That pairing Shizaya was so popular it was like JoongDok, but this time the pairing I like and am doing analyses for isn't popular.

That was in my other account...I wanted a new start so I created a new account and named myself bottomjoonghyuk for a not serious url name.

Anyway, it's sad people are forcing others to like a certain character, from what you've said. I haven't experienced anything like that at all, the closest to something like that, that I've experienced, is when I said I don't really like Han Sooyoung all that much but I haven't read the epilogue, then people said I should read the epilogue because she has great character development, I'd understand then, like I'd like Han Sooyoung then, it was a little pushy but nothing like what is going on in Twitter.

So yeah.......my experience shipping Dokjoong is totally different, even a little lonely at times so I don't know what to tell you lol. Totally understand if you're taking a break off social media though.

I think maybe you just wanted to talk about it also. Great that you enjoyed reading my analyses still. Thanks for sharing. I'll post this with the usual tags so people can see it. Rest well wherever you are.

And yeah I hope I inspire more people to like Bottom Yoo Joonghyuk Dokjoong too.

Also, can you send the link of Dokjoong fans fighting on Twitter? I'm curious.

#ask #seriously surprised there's enough dokjoong fans to fight on twitter #dokjoong #joongdok #dokhyuk #orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #yoo joonghyuk #kim dokja

[blnk338]

Could you share the issue regarding the inclusivity poll please? The one you said was resolved? Just so it helps other writers. I think it's important to share such information<3 or maybe do some notes us other writers should be aware of?

I didn't vote because I am not a poc but since we're on the topic of reader insert: the one thing I felt a bit uncomfortable with was "your mom's name" when reaper was visiting her mom. I personally don't have an issue imagining myself as an oc persona such as a ripped reaper but my mom is so nice and that part bugged me. For example, I feel like parents' names shouldn't be inserted or mentioned at all. OR give them a random name at the beginning as a starter disclaimer. Just a personal thought. Everything else is very much well thought through. Kudos as always 😉

hello!!

so the issue that was brought up from the poll was solved here, but i have so far not gotten a response for the "not good" answer. i suppose it could have been a misclick or perhaps someone just wanted to see the answers and didn't read the title first, but if there was an issue (or issues) that caused them to genuinely pick that answer, i'd love to be able to fix it!

some general notes when it comes to writing a race-neutral mc:

don't describe showers (or really, certain morning/night routines); it's important because a lot of people don't wash their hair every day. whether it be for preference, for hair type, or for how they wear their hair, it can be alienating to detail every shower as "washing your hair."

this mistake was actually corrected in the tagged post-- but be aware of how some skin scars! it had slipped my mind that not all scarring ends up pinkish-- it'll just be a dimmer version of the person's skin tone.

don't use major descriptors for hair. "billowing in the wind," "[your ponytail] pulled at your scalp," "curling around the face." all of these can be linked to a certain hair type, usually.

when describing skin, use vague terms. for example "the light from the shades dappled across your skin," instead of "the light sheened off your pale skin."

"your cheeks grew pink," "your face went red," can't always be applied to people with darker skin tones. but yk what can? growing physically warm, sweating, getting goosebumps, or feeling rushes of adrenaline! if you're gonna write something fluffy, make sure everyone gets included.

sometimes eyebags aren't easily seen, either. a lack of melanin means the purple under the lids sticks out more, but eyebags are also sometimes visible with creases, puffiness under the eyes, or a slight droop.

don't go into major detail with facial features. when describing reaper's facial scarring, i keep it general and try not to describe how lips look, whether freckles are cut up from the scarring, etc.

also, when i talk about reaper's mask, i don't talk much about her nose. obviously, larger noses might stick out more from the base of the mask, but plenty of people have flattened noses, so that wouldn't really work. instead, i used a general description (not verbatim) "fits perfectly to your nose."

bonnets and durags! people wear them all the time! in the house, out of the house, but for sleeping, too! mention them as an option for your readers to better immerse them.

really try to remember, especially as a white person, that most fanfics (intended or not) use white people as a default. there're probably a lot of people who will enjoy your fic more if they can see themselves in place of the mc. if you don't sit back, reread your chapter and think "yeah, i could picture anyone in this position" (unless the fic is specified to be black!reader x character or something of the variation), you might want to change it up.

thank you for the comment on reaper's moms name! i sort of can't change that much considering how far we are into the series, but I've removed the times where specifically "your mom/mother's name" (or a variation) was mentioned. (let me know if i missed anything).

sorry about dissing your mom, I'm sure she's lovely :) (/gen)

i also partially didn't add any details on reaper's mom's name because i didn't want to allude to any specifics on reaper's background

thank you so much for the support!

as a small disclaimer... i'm really grateful to get this kind of feedback, from my readers of color and not, it's great to hear how I'm doing because i want to make a fun fic for you guys! if the change is something quick and easy (like this and the tagged message), i don't mind it!

#asks #rwys asks

[tales-from-nocturnaliss]

30 Days of Autism Acceptance 2023 - catching up!

Figured it'd be a fun thing to do this year, since, y'know: this is the year that marked my official diagnosis as autistic. I'll answer several questions at once since I missed the previous days from not knowing this existed (social mishaps ftw!)

If you wanna participate, check out @birdofmay's blog or click through this link!

1 April: The typical introduction question! Tell us something about yourself.

I'm a 42-yo Belgian writer of Dark Fantasy who was diagnosed autistic this past January after a few years of absolute hell trying to figure out wtf was wrong with me. Turns out: likely intense autistic burnout!

On a more positive note though, I also likely have symptoms of ADHD - which is positive because it makes me able to function in the world on a more NT level I'd say, like doing things on a whim, enjoying change and exploring and, in a way, balancing the autism out. Mostly. The conflictual needs and wants have caused me a lot of mental and physical stress that I'm still trying to recover from.

On a fun note now: I have two cats I adore, a husband who's sometimes just as dysfunctional as I am (likely why he sniffed me out when we were still teens << but we only really met when I was 29; he remembered me from seeing me at school though!), currently unemployed because health, love to fangirl my characters (and anime dudes <<), somehow have a wide circle of friends of all nationalities and personalities because individuals are awesome and fascinating (I'm obsessed with psychology and emotions), and... Yeah. If you'd like to know anything else, do simply ask :D I love answering questions.

2 April: When were you diagnosed and when did you know that you're autistic? If you're self-diagnosed, when did you first suspect that you're autistic and when were you sure?

So it's both, actually. Last year, a good friend of mine talked to me about how she thought she was autistic, and shared a lot of info on women-specific autism... and that's when I saw that everything I thought I knew about autism was but a tiny fraction of a very wide spectrum. I recognized myself in what I read. I was on a quest for self-understanding to finally know what ailed me. I needed to know (which, let it be said, seems to be an autistic trait unto its own <<)

That was August. In October, I decided I had to be tested. November through December, five tests. Result in January. Diagnosis confirmed. I was ELATED. Because, finally, my whole life made sense. I am still so immensely relieved and happy to know.

3 April: How good or bad is your memory for things people say? For example verbal instructions.

My memory's gotten worse over time, likely from years of over-stress. I tend to let a lot of things leave my memory - including things people say. Verbal instructions... Because I know I have a tendency to forget, I prefer them written so I can read them over if/when needed. It's why I do everything official via email, put in appointments in my phone's calendar immediately, etc.

Funnily enough, I still remember a few words from one autism test I did back in November. So there's some logic to what's retained and what not. Repetition of words seems to be key.

4 April: Were/are you in special education? Regular school? Home schooled? A private school? Did it change over time? Did/do you like it?

I was in regular school. I'm 42. When I was a teen, depression wasn't even recognized as a real disease. Autism? Never heard of that. I was just an anxiety-ridden, fragile, naturally heavily bullied young girl who suffered ten years of depression afterwards and intense social anxiety. ... Damn I hated school so much. XD (and myself for just not fitting in :3; )

5 April: Did/do you have accommodations at school/IEP? If not, do you think it would help/have helped you?

I imagine it would have, had we known I was autistic.

6 April: Can you understand what people say when they talk fast, or do you lose track after a while? Was it different when you were younger?

Good question, with 'younger' feeling so far away... I did notice my speech recignition declined these past years, like when watching movies. However, since trying ginkgo and ginseng supplements to alleviate ADHD symptoms, and how magically they also alleviated anxieties and stress overall, I notice my speech recognition improved again.

So, to answer: in general I understand people who talk really fast, best of all in french (my native language). However, I do lose track if people talk in monotones. I think my brain gets bored and nopes out of there.

7 April: Do you have other diagnoses? What are they? Do you think that some could be incorrect?

I don't. Which I think is a mistake in itself, because I relate too intensely and completely to AuDHD perceptions. I was told it might be my higher IQ (officially 119, but I couldn't do the language tests as my brain demanded: in all three languages I know. So it's a bit higher) causing conflicts with the autism. Like, I was told a normal person thinks in a fast, straight line; autistics think in zigzags to get to the same point. They said I take the zigzags like they are a fast, straight line. And I'm like: okay sure I feel your point, but what about my mind always feeling torn in different directions and my inability to focus and how sometimes I adore change and other times not etc etc?

I'm not diagnosed AuDHD, but live that way anyway. Because that's what feels right. And trying to treat a possible ADHD has helped me. So instinct >>> NT experts, tyvm.

---

Aaaand tomorrow I'll continue these day by day :D woot to catching up and focussing and getting something done!

#30daysofautismacceptance #2023 #actually autistic #likely audhd

[everafterkeiji]

Its my birthdayyyy 😈 i just turned 14 lol my sister got the coronavirus so i really cant go out on my birthday so i just have to stay home all day 🙋‍♀️ can i pleaseee request toman boys preparing a birthday party for y/n cuz she did alot and helped them sooo they just wanna do something nice for her ig? Sorry if its too much u can ignore this request

my darling, happy birthday!! happy 14th to u bub, enjoy ur day, ok? i fell asleep and woke up really late for my class so I'm sorry if i ended up posting this on the 16th but i hope u and ur sister are doing okay and ur day was well spent! thank u so much for requesting and stay safe always, we gon celebrate this together yep (･ω･)つ⊂(･ω･) <33

𝐓𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐃𝐀𝐘

PAIRINGS: Toman x gn! reader

GENRE: fluff fluff fluff, humor, (not proofread cuz i got so sleepy)

- Two days before your birthday, Hakkai was the first one to alarm the gang about it, not even realizing that he let out a secret a little too late but they knew they shouldn't spare a single moment to take it to their advantage. "You guys have any plans for the weekend? I'm shit bored all the time." Peh-yan sighs and Mitsuya eyes him.

"Right, the 15th, huh? That's Y/N's birthday." Hakkai calmly states, in contrast to the two who were sharing concerned and startled expressions now that they had to rush a plan. "Wait what?"

"THIS SATURDAY?"

- The hectic schedule begins with Mitsuya sending an emergency text to their group chat, calling on their cells to let them in on this new found information and everyone seems to blame Hakkai, much less to blaming themselves for not even thinking about it at the first. "You could've told us sooner." Mikey scolds and they nodded their heads to his words. "Well—I thought all of you knew? What are we gonna do about it now?" And sharing the same links to their worry, they all shift their gaze to Mitsuya who already took part in expecting that they'd name him the handler for the event.

"Fine, I'll plan it and shit but everyone will help out. Not just me and Draken, alright?"

"Hell yeah! Let's do this for Y/N!" Chifuyu cheers which causes the rest of them to follow his glee at how ready they were to succeed with this.

- The sectioning of the plan starts by Mitsuya separating them by their abilities. He sticks to the division members and captains but for other instances, he's composing a team of three from different teams. "Smiley, Pehyan, and Baji—you three need to deny everything if they ask about what's going on, keep them distracted too—make sure Y/N doesn't even begin to think about it, okay?"

"Understood, boss!"

- The next day, those same boys were acting like stealthy undercover agents when someone brings up what you were going to do. They're invested on your answer all the way through. "Nothing strikes my mind for now but I'd like to spend it with the guys." You responded with a smile, a subtle imagination of the fun it contained if it turned into reality. Raising an eyebrow, Peh-yan scoffs while you walked his way and he half panics when he failed to construct his words.

"Oh, hey!" You greeted them, a bit curious to why those two were in your class. "You need something?" You asked them but Smiley let's out a chuckle. "None of your business." Baji says with a slight aggression to his voice as he receives a slap to the back, courtesy of the oldest Kawata twin.

"You suck at this." Peh-yan whispers. "Well uh, I'll see you then." You bid them good-bye and the curiosity sinks to you but you choose to pay not as much attention to it for now.

- "Draken, Chifuyu, and I will take care of the decor. Can any of you cook?" Mitsuya questions, eyes switching to every member while they shrug. The silver haired boy sighs, running a hand to his face at how he's carrying everything. "We can pitch in for the cake so you don't have to worry about it." Draken suggested and they nodded at his offer.

"I don't trust anyone else in the kitchen anyway."

- Mikey, Souya, Hakkai, and Takemichi were in charge of buying whatever the party leaders needed to have. Strolling in the mall with balloons in their paper bags, some streamers, and confetti bombs—they didn't really expect to see you sipping on your coffee with a bag of your own while your eyes dart to them and suddenly they were all pushing each other to detect who'd be able to lie the best. Their leader walked as far as he could and the three other chickens were left to hand the carry ons from one person to another. Unfortunately, Souya was the chosen one to converse with you.

"It's nice to see you here, Angry." You send him a smile but with the banter behind him, he horribly panics and covers your eyes, a kick to Hakkai for them to run and the two obey, scramming as the blue haired twin's chest began to pant.

"Souya? Is everything okay?" You asked him when he lowered his hand. He shakes his head in response while you tilt your head, blank spaces filling your mind at his bizarreness.

"Y-yeah! BYE BYE!" He simply walks out in shame.

- "I don't want to talk to, Y/N. We're avoiding them as much as possible, remember?" Takashi reminds, sewing for the banner with a needle in his mouth. Unbeknownst to them, you stood outside their room right where your name had been mentioned. Clutching the strap of your bag, you stopped in your step, taking a peak to Peh-yan and Mitsuya who were the only ones inside.

"Avoiding?" You whispered to yourself but Ryohei sees your figure and nudges on the person beside him. Both of you shared a glance until that same boy comes in front of you, hands on either side of your shoulders. "Peh?"

"Y/N-chan! Nope we're closed, Mitsuya's busy!" He ushers before shutting the door right to your face out of panic all over again which leads the president to be worried of your reaction. Though, when he opens the door, you're gone in a flash.

- The next day, the word has gone out that you've been suspicious of their doings and they're even more pressured to maintain the secret because you're asking them if they needed some sort of help when you see them but all they do is excuse themselves. "What's wrong with them today?" You asked, your back slumping from your lack of conversation with him. Since then, you did avoid Mitsuya for the mean time because of the homeroom incident, to which he absolutely feels guilty about.

"I think Y/N is getting the wrong idea. They probably think they did something wrong." He states. "We need to hurry up or else."

- The boys continue on—working extra hard even if they were facing arguments by a dozen of hours. "What if Y/N's allergic?" Souya asks, looking at the cake. "They're not... right?" His brother hinted. "Shit, I don't know!"

"Can you aim it higher? A little more to the left—no too much—stay—more to the side please!" Takemichi orders Chifuyu who was groaning from the arm strain. "Oi, let's switch! My arms hurt so much!"

"Okay so when Y/N comes in do we bomb the confetti the moment they walk in?" Mikey questions and Draken shakes his head. "They're gonna choke from all the paper."

- It is slightly concerning when the Kawata twins were suddenly paying for your snacks, giving each a critique just to know if you were allergic to anything. "How's that one taste like?" Souya asks.

"It's okay, the flavor is...average, I guess." You observed while the two share a glance, mentally cursing when they realized it was majority of the flavor they got for you.

"More food for Y/N!"

- There were stupendous remarks, often made by Takemichi and Chifuyu just to get a reaction out of you. "I sure don't like...metallic stuff!" Raising an eyebrow, you turned to the duo and with a pen ready to write, Chifuyu squints his eyes to you.

"What is your opinion on color? Do you like it scattered or-"

"Is this an interview?"

- You're more persistent in what they were up to but it does pain you that you resembled a plague at how they kept their distance around you. Draken tries to assure you everyone else is busy with a Toman meeting but you weren't updated on anything. It was a clear lie for the rest, especially Peh-yan and Souya who were jittery and too obvious. Smiley and Baji were the only ones capable of holding out until the end, keeping the conversation fresh without the mention of your birthday.

- Still, they really want to make this a special day for you. Because of everything you've done for them to respect them and defend them when needed, a display of gratitude is what you deserve. "I don't want Y/N to feel like we're ignoring them too much but I'm excited to see their reaction though." Takashi had a proud smile on his face now that the full view of the set up looked so much better than the rough first day. Chifuyu was panting beside him from taping all the balloons from multiple walls and Draken wipes his sweat who was done putting the rest of the banner on the high parts.

"Y/N's gonna love this!" Takemichi hypes up from behind. "Not bad. How are we gonna lure them in?" Baji asks.

"Maybe it should be Mikey." Hakkai suggests and the blonde disagrees. "I'll mess it up. Now that all of this is set up, can we talk to Y/N? Maybe they'll be out after school and we'd never know." Their leader proposes.

"I'll do it. I owe an apology to them anyway." Mitsuya volunteers which relieved the others for the task.

- Much to their excitement for your actual birthday, you ended up avoiding them in return. The last two days felt like they pushed you away for a reason and it's taking a toll on you at how clueless you were. When the second division tried to approach you, you ended up turning to a different hall, purposely throwing off his direction which strikes him. "What's going on?" He whispers to himself and the next couple of minutes were spent trying to catch your attention.

The moment you do look at each other, mans is terrified. There's a chill cascading from his lower back to his nape at how closed off you were and it dawns on him that the whole situation of avoiding you ended up on the bad side of their decisions. "Oh shit." He cusses.

- "H-hey, Y/N!" Hakkai greets you with a nervous smile and you could only give a bow to him, eyes intent on the floor as cold sweat drops from him. "Okay bye Y/N!" Peh-yan then, out of the many instances he's slipped up, took the opportunity by grabbing your hand.

"I promise—this time I really have something to show you."

- You were quiet for the rest of the trip, they decided that it was best for you have a blindfold on which doubles your anxiety of where you were going anyway. It doesn't help that they kept murmuring and the more you took a step, the more you dreaded waiting for them to greet you. "Okay, stand there, we'll let go." Hakkai informs you as you shake your head. "Wait—don't leave!" You cried and that was when no one else surrounded you.

Until a voice spoke, "Take of your blindfold, Y/N!"

- And as the fabric drops to you nose, your eyes were mesmerized by the sudden flash of light, surrounding the entire room. The decorations were well organized and a big banner that said happy birthday with a table filled with meals and gifts, even party hats with toy trumpets to celebrate. You covered your mouth out of shock, your heart not even letting it sink into you that this was the reason they've been avoiding you for a while. The words that ring in your moment of awe was, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" From all of the main captains and founding members of Toman.

Though, the confetti bomb didn't exactly blow up after they said it and Mikey was struggling so hard on pulling the object. "I can't do it." He complains while you let out a laugh. As a joke, Baji turned his gaze to you.

"Hey, Y/N? You think you can walk in again and let's do a retake?"

"Oh absolutely." You giggled at their inconvenience before obeying the long haired boys demands, walking in with a brighter smile than the first time and another chorus of happy birthday resonates through the building as the sound of the confetti finally working mixes with it. A rain of colorful strings and papers poured on all of you while you ran to them, catching them in an embrace.

- After hearing their plan with a couple of apologies here and there, you couldn't stop smiling and laughing at their stories of how close they were to giving in especially when you ignored them. "So? This was all the big fuss about?" You asked Mitsuya as he bids you a nod with a hand to your shoulder. "If it's all for you then it's worth it."

Mikey then brings in the cake, lit up in the amount as your age and they urge you to stand up. "We're thankful that you're here Y/N. We thank you for everything that you've done for us and we had a lot of fun planning this entire day out for you to enjoy, so, why don't you make a wish and let's begin your party!" He spoke with a smile to you and your heartbeat fastens at how lucky you were to be treated by such amazing friends.

They started to sing the classic happy birthday song, Peh-yan and Angry's voice casually above the others but they had to match that energy so even when the song was meant to be slow, the anticipation and rest they got now that everything was settled brought even more warmth to the room and a kick in the rhythm.

Closing your eyes as a wish is said in your mind, you blew the candle and with a few more embraces, they all began to cheer,

"Happy birthday, Y/N!"

TOKYO REV : @strawberrieas @kwrg @raya-sano @kimrena-stuff @heavensbeloved @rosewood1999 @beezebub @l-luci @bekky06 @keiisukebaji @manjiroarchiviste @smileysmileysmiley @tendo-shairdye @toshiswifey @thispenguinrocks @kleesboom

OVERALL: @stesphy @itsmeaudrieee @crapimahuman @meguroshi @floydenai @dai-tsukki-desu @inu1gf

#mitsuya tokyo revengers #mikey tokyo revengers #tokyo manji gang #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #draken tokyo revengers #draken hcs #baji keisuke #baji hcs #baji keisuke fluff #chifuyu matsuno #chifuyu headcanons #nahoya fluff #nahoya kawata tokyorev #souya kawata #souya fluff #tokyo revengers hakkai #hakkai shiba fluff #peh yan #ryohei hayashi #toman mikey #toman #takashi mitsuya #mitsuya takashi #mikey fluff #draken #draken imagine #tokyo revengers takemichi #takemichi hanagaki

[tortilla-of-courage]

PLEASE share your thoughts on Sky in botw for no reason it sounds hilarious (of course u don’t have to if u don’t want to though)

AAA i have many thoughts but none are coherent be warned. i dont know where i was going with a single point in this post i wrote this all at 1 am so excuse this mess

i like to imagine he just walks into Hateno one day and scares the locals with his weirdly hylian-like but not-quite language (either spoken or signed, because i'd imagine sign language has changed over millennia too), so they call Link and Zelda for help

Link's like "no worries i've met everyone around Hyrule they're probably looking for me" until he walks out, sees Sky, and goes "i've never met this man in my life,"

the first week or so is just the longest and most infuriating game of charades ever between them as they try to learn a better way to communicate

Link keeps wondering why the new guy keeps looking at his horse like he's never seen one before. he won't even go near the creature

which gets funny when the horse decides to follow Sky around and scare him half to death

Link and Zelda try taking him to Impa but he keeps getting distracted with everything in the village because "Hey those are the symbols (his) Impa had on her clothes that's funny. are these people related to her??"

oh yeah and they also had to convince him to ride a horse to even go there which didn't go well either

they end up leaving him with the cuccoo guy while They talk to Impa and Sky has the time of his LIFE with the tiny birds

Impa, understandably, has no idea who this guy is either, but if she had to guess he's an ancient hero that somehow washed up millennia after his era

Zelda: okay but what do we do with him

Impa: babysit him ig????

you know those movies where the main character suddenly gets handed a child and they have to take care of them throughout the movie? that's Link and Zelda with Sky. except he's technically older than them

the second they manage to like, communicate he starts talking about missing the sky and the clouds and flying and Zelda's like "oh hylia he's the first hero help me"

Sky probably keeps acting way too relaxed for someone who's not in his home

Link leaves the master cycle zero unsupervised for three seconds and next thing he knows Sky is using it no problem and driving directly into a bokoblin camp

oh god okay i know i was talking about this like, post botw but consider: Sky In Pre-Calamity Hyrule For No Reason

maybe in this scenario he's like. Hylia's answer to Zelda's prayers for help. the language barrier isnt too helpful tho

i know her prayers are to awaken her power but i mean. who better to help you understand the Triforce's power than the guy who first got it all?

anyways Sky's never seen Zora OR Gerudo OR Rito before can you imagine how he'd react. this poor man

Revali, seeing both Links standing together: oh Hylia above, there's two of them?

Sky is obsessed with Vah Medoh but Revali wont let him go there. Sky wont give up because if he and Groose ended up getting along he can get along with this weird loftwing guy

i just think he'd get along with the champions :) frends

oh no i just imagined Sky in the middle of the calamity itself. oh no. anyways,

Sky likes playing matchmaking so you BET he'd be out there causing problems on purpose and trying to help around with romantic stuff. like idk hyping up Mipha when she's trying to tell Link something or stuff like that

okay but in general can you imagine how excited Zelda, local nerd, would be over getting to talk to a walking piece of history?? i think it'd be really cute

this got too long and it makes no sense sorry about that

#i have no specific thoughts about this just vague scenarios i laugh about because i have the sense of humor of a 12 yr old #tortilla asks #tortilla's zelda tag #skyward sword spoilers #just inc ase #posting this in the middle og the night as usual #long post kinda

[triple-hbk]

Fic: This Isn't Everything You Are- Part 6

Link to other chapter posted on tumblr, or on my A03

And you wish you'd went home days ago, to say goodbye or just hello

-

He hadn't called and as the door opened, he kinda wished he had.

Shawn looked like shit and Hunter knew a pilled out of his head Shawn from a mile away. His heart sank a little and he wished hadn't bothered.

For his part, Shawn looked dumbly at the other man stood there and didn't greet him, he didn't even smile. He just left the door open for Hunter to come in and walked back into his home.

Hunter closed the door behind him and took in the surroundings. Everything looked pretty good from the last time he'd been here. He followed the path that Shawn had taken and found his friend sat on an armchair.

Hunter looked to see the TV on and muted and guessed Shawn was at least relaxing while he was off. Taking one of the other seats, he observed his friend. A mouthful of chewing tobacco was pushed to the side of Shawn's mouth and a bottle now in his hand as he spat it out. Another of Shawn's little habits. He didn't miss prising it from Shawn's mouth.

“Whattya want?” Shawn said.

“Well, as I couldn't get hold of you I wanted to see if you were okay. I've been missing you on the road,” Hunter said.

Shawn rolled his eyes at the sentiment. “Yeah, looks like it.”

There was a little edge to the words that Hunter didn't like to hear. “What's that supposed to mean?” he asked, even though he knew.

“You think I stopped watching?”

Hunter heard that bitter and accusing tone. He already regretted coming. “What did you think I was gonna do? You wanted to go home and show goes on. I've got a career as well, you know. I want to make my own mark.”

“Well now you get a chance to do just that,” Shawn replied. But Hunter noticed that face relaxed a little after those words as though he let go of some of the anger.

“You could still be part of the show, you know. You could be part of DX. You don't have to wrestle-”

“I know I could but I'd hate it. Watching guys my age or older still wrestling when I know I can't.”

“Have you done any rehab for your back?”

“Not yet,” Shawn answered.

Hunter didn't push it. Shawn had quickly relaxed into normal conversation with him but he was still aware of the fact that he wasn't completely sober and that could always cause an unexpected reaction, especially as he didn't know what Shawn had taken or how much. “Well, I hope you do and you feel like coming back soon. It's not the same without you.”

“Better?”

It was a question but it wasn't as loaded as Hunter expected. He looked at Shawn carefully before deciding to answer it.

“Not better. Different. At first it just felt like you were taking a couple weeks off.”

In the run up to 'Mania Shawn hadn't been as present as he had been beforehand. Hunter missed his friend, but he could see why Shawn wasn't that eager to fly all over the Country to do promos.

“And then it kinda settled in and I really missed you and it's kinda feeling like the new normal, I guess. But I still miss you, which is why I came.”

It was a lie. The reason he came was he dreamt Shawn killed himself but he didn't want to share that truth with Shawn.

“What would you have done if I was out of town?” Shawn asked.

Hunter shrugged, “Stayed at a hotel.”

Shawn didn't laugh. He barely smiled, but there was a little lightness to him. Maybe a slight smirk. And Hunter couldn't get over the giddy feeling that hit him at the thought that he'd made his friend smile. “Jus' as well I got no place to be, huh?” Shawn said eventually. “So, you just came by to say hi then?” He added.

Hunter shrugged “Is that so bad?”

“If I'd known you were coming we could have done something more exciting than sitting here.”

Hunter thought that maybe with nothing to really focus on Shawn was bored out of his skull and could do with some proper company. “We can still do something. What did you have in mind?”

Shawn smiled that time and without a word, stood up and grabbed his car keys and coat, waiting for Hunter to follow him, as he knew he would.

#Shawn Michaels #Triple H #DX #fanfic

[eryiss]

Summary: Freed and Gajeel were total opposites in every way, only connected by the guild. When they were forced to train together under Makarov's orders, they expected antagonism and mistrust. Instead, they were given a lesson in how quickly opposition can turn to attraction. The issue: let the budding relationship simmer away, or let it explode. [Freed x Gajeel Multi-chapter]

Notes: Hi everyone. Another big chapter today. The first part has some graphic smut, so feel free to skip to the line break if you want to avoid it. Hope you enjoy :)

Links: FFN, Ao3, Chapter List

Chapter Eight - The Tournament

Day Seven: Sunday

When Freed woke up, he thought he might be dreaming.

His head was resting against Gajeel's chest, cool and hairless. He could feel large hands running through his hair, and gently scratching at his scalp without too much pressure. His limbs were tangled up with Gajeel's, both of them without any clothes. The gentle vibrations of Gajeel's heartbeat was a pleasant sensation that made Freed smile a little, not moving to open his eyes.

The previous night had been… indescribable. Freed was a man who kept things to himself, and his past was one of his most guarded secrets. Yet sitting in the spring with Gajeel, he had felt compelled to say something. Something instinctive inside of him allowed for vulnerability, and there had been something so freeing about letting Gajeel know what his parents had done. It was more of a burden than he sometimes thought, and having Gajeel both listen to him, and seem to take his side in his own somewhat brutish way, was wondrous.

And then, of course, there had been what followed. The reason they were both in Freed's bed.

Freed was by no means a virgin. He'd had his fair share of partners, but he preferred to sleep with a man he cared for, meaning it had been some time since his last time with a man. Gajeel had been, by quite a considerate margin, the most passionate, all-consuming lover that Freed had been with. He somehow managed to balance a rough, domineering energy with shocking tenderness and the lightest of touches. The press of his strong body against Freed contrasted incredibly with the soft kisses and grazing knuckles.

It had been a night of body-shuddering, sheets-clenching, mind-melting sex.

"Hm," Gajeel purred a little. "Thinkin' about last night?"

"What makes you think that?" Freed spoke, voice sleepworn and croaky.

"'Cause yer naked, wrapped up real tight against me, and if it ain't yer dick pokin' my thigh then I'm real curious about what it is," Gajeel taunted, still scratching at Freed's hair and giving it a little tug. It gave him a flashed memory of being on all fours, Gajeel fucking him while yanking at his hair with cruel strength. "Yeah, yer thinkin' about last night. That good huh?"

"You certainly know how to treat a man," Freed chuckled; he didn't care to lie. Gajeel was jaw-droppingly good in bed. He ran a hand down Gajeel's strong body, grazing his dick. It was just as hard as Freed's. "As do I, it seems."

"Fuck yeah ya do," Gajeel was unashamedly grinning, and Freed chuckled. Gajeel looked down on him, grinning without repentance. "Want another round?"

"You think you can take it?" Freed quirked an eyebrow, smirking. "You were rather energetic last night, I wouldn't blame you if you're needing some time to let your muscles recover."

"You sayin' you think I've pushed myself," Gajeel cackled. "Pretty-boy, I was holdin' back."

Oh, that was a thought. If that were true then what would Gajeel be like when he let himself go? He would be an animal, and Gods would Freed like to witness it.

After glancing at the clock to see they had more than enough time before they would need to leave for the tournament, Freed pushed himself up. The movements shifted the sheets to the side, revealing both of their naked bodies, and Freed swallowed at the sight of the man below him. Muscles rippled, piercings gleamed, and hair spread across the sheets. Gajeel was grinning up at him, horny and expectant.

Straddling the dragon slayer, Freed leant down so their bodies were gliding together. Their dicks rubbed hard, and the cool steel of the rivet piercings that decorated Gajeel's shaft made Freed sigh. This man was made of metal, and it was intoxicating. Freed was addicted.

"You gonna ride me, Pretty-Boy?" Gajeel rasped. "Gonna ride my cock?"

"Ride you?" Freed chuckled. "Perhaps if you'd given me everything you had, I'd treat you. But as you were holding back, I don't think you've earned it," Gajeel whined in protest, and Freed laughed. "You'll enjoy what I have planned, my dear, I'm quite sure of that."

Before Gajeel could complain or question him, Freed pressed their lips together, rolled his hips, and pressed Gajeel into the mattress by the shoulders. Gajeel groaned through their kiss, and Freed felt him shudder under him as he ran his hands over Gajeel's stomach and chest. He grinned a little, pushed himself off of Gajeel and relished the groan of annoyance. He began to slowly pepper kisses down the man's body, starting at his chest, going lower to his abs, then to his naval. Gajeel sucked in a breath and Freed relished it.

How had things changed so much in so little time?

When his lips hovered above Gajeel's dick, he looked up at Gajeel with the most devilish smirk that he could muster. Gajeel looked at him as if breathless, and Freed slowly lowered his head down and licked the tip of Gajeel's aching cock.

"Holy shit," Gajeel gasped. "Y' don't have to. I know the metal ain't for everyone-"

Freed plunged Gajeel's dick deep into his mouth, deepthroating him in a single movement. The feeling of the fat, long dick, filled with cold, harsh metal, filling him was incredible, and he gagged a little around the fullness. He took every inch of the man's dick, forcing Gajeel to maintain eye contact with him. Gajeel let a small 'oh shit' slip out and fuck did it make Freed's dick twitch. He was very reactive to praise.

Swallowing the man's length, Freed began to raise and lower his head, and Gajeel moaned. The sound spurred Freed on, and he began to bob faster and faster, choking and moaning over the man's hard dick.

The taste of metal drove him wild.

Gajeel suddenly froze, let out a spew of curses, and his hands forced Freed's head down on his cock. Freed choked, and a moment later the brilliant sensation of hot cum filling his mouth overthrew everything. Gods it tastes so good.

Freed came without warning, spurting his own cum onto the sheets. His eyes shot open, and he continued thrusting Gajeel's dick deep into his throat. His thighs were trembling with the effort of remaining on his knees while he milked all of Gajeel's cum into his mouth. When he looked up, Gajeel was staring at him lust-struck and seemingly amazed. Freed smirked over the fat cock in his mouth, gave it a final teasing lick, and pushed himself up.

"A suitable replacement for a ride?" He teased, voice hoarse from the throat fucking.

"You just came?" Gajeel gasped, seemingly wonderstruck. "I didn't even touch ya - you didn't even touch yerself - and you came real fucking hard. Just because you were sucking me off?"

"It seems so," Freed smirked.

"Oh Pretty-Boy," Gajeel's tone held mischief and seduction. "I'm gonna fuckin' ruin you."

"Will you?" Freed asked. "Well, we've an hour before we need to shower, so perhaps you should start now."

Gajeel had launched himself onto Freed before he had finished speaking.

——

"Gods dammit," Laxus grunted the moment he saw Freed. "You too, huh?"

Freed had walked into the guild, wanting to speak with his teammates after a week without contact. Evergreen had been at the bar, Bickslow was nowhere in sight, and as such Freed had walked to Laxus at their regular table. He had intended to ask as to how Laxus' week with Loke had been - the natural flirt wasn't an obvious easy pairing with someone as socially… complicated as Laxus - but the blonde had looked at him with an expression that was immediately annoyed. Freed didn't know why.

"Me too?" Freed asked, sitting opposite Laxus at their table. "Care to elaborate."

"You hooked up with your teammate too, didn't you," Laxus grunted, seemingly not pleased with the outcome.

Freed immediately stilled. His and Gajeel's night together was something that they hadn't spoken about with any seriousness, but they both had decided to keep it private. They didn't leave marks in places where they could be seen, they had tried not to look as though the dynamic of their relationship had been turned on its head when they had gotten into the guild, and Freed had even gone so far as to apply a pain-killing rune on his ass. He hadn't wanted people asking why he had a slight limp.

There was the issue of the piercings Freed now had, and the runic tattoo over Gajeel's exposed arm, but they could lie about that. It could have been passed off as a trust exercise or bonding experience. Fairy Tail was known for doing things with more intensity than required, their body modification could be seen as that happening again.

"What makes you think that?" Freed asked, cagey.

"You stink of iron and his cologne. Bet he stinks of you, too," Laxus huffed a little, and Freed frowned. He should have considered that... "You couldn't've at least showered after you did it, huh?"

"We did," He said firmly.

"Together or apart?" Laxus demanded. When Freed didn't answer, Laxus knew and rolled his eyes. "If it's gonna be a regular thing then you're going to need some stronger soap. Don't want to know every time he's been in bed with you."

"I suppose not," Freed chuckled. It was then when he remembered what Laxus had said in greeting, and frowned again. "You said 'me too' when you realised me and Gajeel had slept together. Have you and Loke started something?"

"What the fuck! No," Laxus exclaimed, before grunting. "I could've had him, but I didn't want him. No. Bicks and Gray are fucking as well."

"Really?" Freed frowned, looking over the banister. He scanned the room and his eyes settled on Gray, who was sitting on one of the many benches with Bickslow's arm around his shoulders, arguing with Natsu. Bickslow and his babies were offering words of support in the argument, and Bickslow was grinning widely. "How did that happen?"

"You remember when Bicks said he'd take his clothes off every time Gray did?" Laxus asked, and Freed nodded, vaguely remembering something of the sort. "He did it, apparently Gray was into it, and they started banging on the second night," Freed looked back at Laxus, who was frowning at him. "Dunno why that's a surprise considering what you and Gajeel did. Thought you didn't like each other. You aint the type to hate-fuck."

Freed thought for a moment. The shift from seething hatred, to tentative friendship, to what had happened the night before didn't exactly make sense to him. The piercings, runes, unison raids and demonic influence didn't make things easier to understand.

"We challenged our preconceived notions of one another, and found kinship," Freed said in explanation. "I would like to know why you seem a little huffy about it."

"Because I know you're not gonna fall into bed with a guy who's hot just because you wanna sleep with him. You're a guy who sleeps with someone they care about, probably only with a guy you could see yourself being with for a long time," Laxus shrugged. Freed didn't disagree, but didn't see how this was relevant. "If he's gonna be around you for a long time then he's gonna be around me for a long fucking time too. I'm gonna have to talk to him, get to know him, all that crap. Gonna have to do it with fucking Gray as well. I don't need that shit. Got enough friends."

"So your aversion to our relationships is because you dislike people?" Freed chuckled, and Laxus nodded. "So, not because you're still madly in love with me then?"

"Fuck you," Laxus gurnted, but grinned.

"I expect that you might say that if you were still interested in me," Freed teased, and Laxus rolled his eyes. "Though I expect if we were still together and you said that, you would be begging for it rather than demanding it. You were awfully needy, I recall."

"You know what, I'm glad you found him. You can piss him off rather than me," Laxus muttered, and Freed chuckled. Laxus' expression shifted to something more sinceer. "He good for you?"

"I think so," Freed nodded, smiling a little. "Unusual, I'll admit. But good."

"And yer demon ain't been fucking around?" Laxus looked serious now, and Freed understood why. The blonde did sometimes have a tendency to blame himself for the demon, even though Freed felt all the fault lay in his parent's actions. "It ain't done anything today. It gets bad today, right?"

"There was an incident in the week, but it was sorted before anything could come of it," Freed said, not wanting to go into details.

"You sure?"

"I am," Freed gave an honest response, and Laxus nodded a little.

For a moment, they both sat at their table. Laxus was drinking a tankard of beer while Freed polished his sword in preparation for the tournament. Freed had to admit that, although he had intended for his and Gajeel's relationship - whatever it was going to be - to be a secret, he felt warmed both by how Laxus hadn't questioned his closeness to Gajeel with anything more than curiosity, and how he had accepted the fact that Gajeel might be a part of their lives that was going to stay.

That felt nice too. The idea that Gajeel would be a mainstay in his life, and in the lives of their team. He wondered how Gajeel might interact with his team. He wondered what it would be like to return home with Gajeel after a night at the guildhall, drunk and cheerful. They might stumble into bed, and just laugh as they fall asleep side by side.

Freed would enjoy that.

"I'm sorry, I've ignored it long enough," Laxus suddenly said, and Freed looked towards him. "What the hell is with the piercings? You lost a bet to him or something?"

Freed just laughed, and decided he would tell Laxus the story.

——

"And for the final fight of the day, the one you've all been waiting for, the battle for the championship," Makarov was yelling into a microphone, his voice echoing around the clearing behind Fairy Tail's guildhall. "On the left, we have Bickslow and Gray! On the right, we have Gajeel and Freed! Two teams that have proven themselves to be incredibly powerful over the day, crushing all competition before them. Are you both ready!"

Fuck yeah Gajeel was ready!

Today was his day. He'd woken up with the memory of fucking Freed hard all the damn night, only to have Freed wake up in his arms ready for a morning of more. When they'd gotten to the guild, he'd heard stories about teams that just hadn't worked out because they let their arguments get in the way, and it made him realise how fucking close he and Freed had been to ending up as another disaster. And throughout the tournament, the natural comradery that he and Freed had quickly developed had burst out and they had seemingly decimated their opponents in every match.

Now, all they had to do to win the prize was to beat up the Puppeteer and the Stripper. It was going to be easy, and Gajeel was already planning on what he would do with the prize. After seeing how Freed lived, Gajeel knew he couldn't stay, so the money was going towards a new place.

And then, they'd also get to make a forfeit for the overall losers. He hoped it would be Natsu. He was gonna make the flamebrain loudmouth his personal fucking footrest for a month. Maybe he'd even get a throne, just to piss him off more.

Freed would look good sitting in a throne.

He'd look better sitting in a throne naked.

But he couldn't think about this now. He nodded that he was ready, as did Freed, Gray and Bickslow. He needed to be in the zone to get the victory. He shouldn't underestimate Gray and Bickslow, who seemed to be almost as in tune as he and Freed were being. Maybe having sex with your teammate made you work well together? Who knew?

"And begin!" Makarov yelled.

As they had with each fight, Gajeel ran forward while Freed started casting runes. Gajeel allowed iron to replace his skin, and he extended an arm to land a punch at Gray. Gray blocked it with a shield of ice, which shattered and made him stumble. Gajeel pounced on the misstep and rammed his iron fist into Gray's stomach, knocking him into the dirt.

Before he noticed, Bickslow's dolls were above him and circling quickly. A beam of magic struck down on him, searing pain that he couldn't identify. It felt like fire and ice and lighting all at once. Gajeel hadn't fought against Bickslow before, so the burn of his magic was unfamiliar, and all Gajeel could think to do was cover himself as best he could with his iron arms and wait for the spell to end. It was hurting like fuck, but he was trapped in the spell.

Suddenly, it broke. Looking up, he saw runed implanted on the dolls. He grinned.

Freed was now fighting with his sword, with Gray using a weapon made of ice to parry the blows. They seemed well matched, so Gajeel turned to Bickslow who was looking at him with a manic expression. Bickslow raised a hand and made a beckoning motion, and Gajeel grinned. This would be fun.

He launched forward, going to punch Bickslow. The other man jumped back a few times, and Gajeel grunted with each missed hit. He had heard BIckslow was an acrobat, and he was dancing rings around Gajeel. His physical attacks anyway.

"Iron Dragon's Roar!" He yelled, and a beam of dragon slayer magic spurted from him.

Bickslow dodged it, of course, but Gajeel had wanted that. As Bickslow made some comment that got drowned out in the fighting, he had allowed Gajeel to target him. Thrusting his fist forward, he punched Bickslow in the jaw and made him stumble back. Gajeel didn't miss the opportunity he'd created, and lurched forward to pummel more punches into the man, only some of which his dolls managed to deflect.

Suddenly, a hammer made of ice slammed into Gajeel's head.

He stumbled back, wishing he had fully covered himself in iron. He looked to see Gray standing over Bickslow protectively, with a few spurts of blood from where Freed must have hit him. He could also see a small glow from one of Freed's runes on Gray's arm. He didn't know what the effect was, but he felt a swelling of pride. That was probably kinda stupid, but fuck it. His boyfriend was a badass and he was gonna be proud of it.

Was Freed his boyfriend? They didn't speak about it. Gajeel wanted to be Freed's boyfriend.

Before the thoughts could spiral, Gajeel felt Freed's hand on his shoulder. The fight had broken for a moment so they could all catch their breath and Bickslow could stand again, and Gajeel felt a fizzing on his arm, where Freed was touching him.

"It's immunity," Freed murmured, but was smirking. "Be prepared. This will be intense."

"Come on baby!" Bickslow yelled across the space. He was grinning with his tongue hanging out. "This ain't the time to be whispering sweet nothings into his ear."

"You're right," Freed smirked, and magic seemed to flow out from him. "Let's make this fun, shall we."

Walls of runes shot up around them, and the new rune on Gajeel's arm glowed and pulsed. Suddenly, Gray and Bickslow were being pushed into the ground in the same way Gajeel had been earlier in the week, and Gajeel grinned at the sight. They were taking this seriously, and Freed wasn't afraid to pull out some nasty tricks. Good.

In tandem, Freed and Gajeel began their assault. Freed started to cover their opponents in different types of pain runes, and Gajeel began slamming his fist into their bodies over and over, loving the feeling of the punches connecting.

Fuck this felt good! Brutal and unrepentant and-

This was all too violent. This was meant to be a friendly match, why was he enjoying this so much?

Realisation struck him, and Gajeel turned to look at Freed again. The man's demonic eye was glowing and a mist of magic was forming around it. Again, the demon had been influencing them both and making them more cruel than normal. Adrenaline was still running through Gajeel and there was a loud voice in his mind screaming at him to keep going, keep hitting, make them bleed and bruise and burn! But that was the demon, and who knew how bad it was for Freed.

Gajeel looked up, and saw that the full moon was parting the sky. It beat down on them, unimpeded by the clouds and hitting Freed directly. He quickly remembered that today was the shortest day of the year and fuck Freed was losing control.

He needed to stop this.

Suddenly, a dome of ice covered Freed, clearly from Gray. Gajeel didn't spare him a glance, because Freed was a priority, but he saw the walls of runes falling down. He felt the new rune on his shoulder suddenly disappear, and his gut started to flip. Was that Gray's magic cutting him off from the runes, or something more.

The fog from Freed's eye was getting thicker, and covering more space. The dome was quickly filled with mist, and Gajeel couldn't even see Freed inside of it. What the hell was happening? Was the ice making it worse? Magnifying the moon's effect somehow? Was that how it worked?

"Stop!" Gajeel yelled when he saw Gray running at him. "Fuckin st-"

The ice exploded.

Freed wasn't standing there anymore. The demon was.

Power exploded, knocking every mage watching the fight to the floor. Gajeel scrambled and failed to keep himself upright, and he was flung to the dirt. Dread filled him, because even though he had only seen Freed's demonic form standing there for a second, he knew that Freed wasn't in control.

"Gajeel Redfox," A voice like Freed's, but warped and mutated and cruel echoed through the courtyard. Everyone was watching, but Gajeel was transfixed by the demon. "Did you like the little dream I sent you? The one where I told you what would happen if you attempted to claim what belonged to me. The one that made it very clear that this body is mine to play with. The one that you ignored."

What the fuck. What the fuck!

The dream had been from the demon. The dream where everyone was dead or nearly dead and they were trying to kill Freed and Gajeel couldn't do anything. The one he had so desperately been trying to ignore. The dream was from the demon!

"The message was ignored, so perhaps I should be clear," The demon walked towards Gajeel, slowly. "You should learn to leave well enough alone. Because this body is mine to toy with. And as you've disrupted that, I intend to fix the issue."

A tendril of black magic - the same black magic that had hit him in his fight against Freed - shot out from the demon's claw. It coiled around Gajeel, who could only scream as a pain like nothing he could imagine filled him. It was every aspect of agony condensed into a single feeling which was designed to explode on his skin. The pain was overwhelming, and Gajeel only barely recognised that he was being lifted off the ground, the coil of darkness wrapping tight around his neck.

"You should have left him alone," The demon snarled at Gajeel, dragging him closer. Gajeel could see the fangs, the scales, the cruelty. "He's so much more fun when he's alone. And he will be again, soon enough."

The coiling darkness tightened. It was going to kill him.

He was struggling to breath now, and the demon forced him to maintain eye contact as his life was sapped away from him. He tried to struggle but there was nothing he could do.

"Freed, if yer in there I want you to-"

"He won't be able to do anything," The demon chuckled, and Gajeel was thrust forward so his nose grazed the demon's. "He's as good as dead. The only difference is, he's still conscious enough to watch what's about to happen."

Gajeel had never wanted to kill something before. He did now.

Before he could retort, a flurry of manic lightning shot from the sidelines and slammed into the demon. It winced, turning towards where Laxus was standing, now covered in lightning and with fury on his face. Gajeel struggled, hoping that the distraction would be enough for him to escape the coiling darkness, but the grasp of magic seemed to get tighter. He gagged a little, and his vision started to turn black, but he kept on fighting.

Lightning shot towards the demon again, but this time the vivid yellow turned to jet black, and the demon seemed to consume it rather than being hit by it. The demon started to walk towards Laxus, and Gajeel felt the binds tightening around him even more. Fuck, he was going to get crushed to death.

"You all wish to fight, it seems," The demon said, looking around at the array of mages ready to pounce. His eyes settled on Gajeel, and it grinned. "Let's make your dreams come true, shall we."

Fuck. Shit!

The magic coiling around Gajeel suddenly disappeared, and Gajeel was dropped into the dirt again. His muscles ached and his heartbeat was hammering. He did his best to get back to his feet so he could do something to help Freed, but his body had been sapped of energy and he could barely get to his knees. When he looked up - panting, bleeding and arms shaking with effort - the demon was looking at him with sadistic glee. Runes shot up around Gajeel, a cylindrical prison identical to the one that he had been trapped in in his dream.

Gods, it couldn't be happening. His dream had been awful and it was going to come true if he couldn't do something. But what the hell could he do?

The members of Fairy Tail started trying to attack the demon, with Laxus, Evergreen and Bickslow taking the lead. Natsu was soon on his feet, as were Mirajane, Gray and Elfman. Whether they knew what was happening or not, Gajeel couldn't be sure, but something innate inside of him wanted to scream at them to stop. Attacking the demon wasn't going to get Freed back, it was probably going to get them killed, and dammit this wasn't how to get rid of the demon. It was a blight on Freed's soul, not on his body!

Magic welled up around the runic prison, and Gajeel stumbled to his feet. Fire, lighting, dust, ice, water, and pure magical chaos all flew towards the demon, and yet with a wave of it's hand, the demon dismissed it and countered them all with ease. They needed to stop; this wasn't how to save Freed!

Gajeel's runes started to glow.

Energy suddenly coursed through him, unnatural and unfamiliar. As chaos unfolded around him, Gajeel found himself transfixed by the glowing lettering on his arm. Magic - runic magic, not Dragon Slayer - was filling him now. It was powerful, addictive, and something new.

With a punch, the force of which was stronger than Gajeel had ever managed before, he managed to shatter the runes keeping him in place. The demon turned to him, face without emotion but a snarl ripped through it's throat. Gajeel felt adrenaline coursing through him like he never had before, and he raised the arm covered in runes, purple magic flickering from the exposed skin. For only a second, the demon flickered back to Freed, who was clearly trying to fight.

Freed was still in there. He had a chance.

That's what these runes were for. Not just marking. Not just a coincidence. They were Freed's magic, anchoring them together so Gajeel could pull Freed back from the edge.

"What was that?" The demon snarled when it took over. "What did you do?"

"I just figured some shit out," Gajeel grinned, walking towards the demon and covering his body in Iron. The runes still glowed. "Me and him, y'see, we're soulmates. I know, he knows it, and our magic fuckin' knows it. And yer a sadistic motherfucker who's been eating away at him for far too fucking long now. Not anymore. So I think it's up to me to cleanse his soul."

The magic erupted inside of him, and scales of iron covered him. His teeth grew sharper and his magic roiled inside of him. His dragon force was taking over, more powerful than it had ever been before. Runes covered every inch of his body. He glowed with the minging of his magic and Freed's, and felt more powerful than he could have ever imagined.

At that moment, he was a monstrous force of nature. Nothing could stop him.

With every step he took towards the demon, it's grasp on Freed seemed to lessen. Even being in Gajeel's overwhelming presence seemed to make it's dominance over Freed flicker back and forth. Freed was fighting the demon's control, and his body mutated back and forth between monster and man.

His eyes met Gajeel's, and a look of wonderment and relief filled his expression. Freed grit his teeth and managed to hold onto control, if only for a moment. That was all the time Gajeel needed.

"Let's sort this shit out right now," Gajeel proclaimed as he stalked towards Freed. "I'm yours and yer mine," He was chest-to-chest with Freed now, and wrapped a hand around the back of Freed's head, holding and anchoring him. "And as long as I'm still standin', that demon ain't got a fuckin claim on you. You understand me. Yer fucking mine!"

"Your damn right I am," Freed whispered, and had the smallest of grins.

Gajeel pulled Freed to him, and kissed the hell out of him.

Magic of cataclysmic power exploded around them, pushing everyone but the two of them to the ground. Gajeel dragged Freed as close as he could to him, his draconic body melding with Freed. The runes painted onto Gajeel were burning with the most addictive power that he had ever felt, and it was as if the feeling Gajeel had been unknowingly hunting for his life had suddenly been bestowed upon him. This moment was something he was destined to do.

The darkness that the demon had forced on Freed seemed to be burning away. Even Gajeel could feel the force of something wrong leaving Freed, and he pulled the man closer to him as the spirit seeped from Freed's soul.

As they kissed, a cloud of sentient shadows rose up around them. They pulled apart with the overwhelming force of evil looking down at them, searching for another soul to take over. Without needing to speak, both men turned to the demon's smokey form and raised their intertwined hands. Magic shot fourth without effort nor complication, and Freed's runes entrapped the demon while Gajeel's iron destroyed it.

Another unison raid, which came to them like second nature now.

"It's gone," Freed whispered, pulling away. "It's actually gone."

"Yeah it is," Gajeel agreed, pressing his forehead against Freed's. "It ain't ever hurtin' you again, y'hear me. Never."

"I know," He grinned, elated. "Gajeel, I lo-"

He passed out in Gajeel's arms before he could finish.

#Gajeed #Freedjeel #Gajeel x Freed #Freed Justine #Gajeel Redfox #Fairy Tail #Fanfic #Writing #Multi Chapter #Chapter Eight #Word count: 5.3k

[hyper-super-clover]

Squeeze that bunny tail!

Part 5 (final part)

Description: The RAD student council as well as the exchange students help out at a bar where, oops, the staff´s dress codes are those sweet bunny outfits that we all know and thirst for. The MCs, Violet and Clover, play a game of who can touch the most bunny tails over the evening without getting caught. Prepare for fluff, funny innuendos as well as my thirst over hot boys in bunny outfits.

This is the finale of this way too long "one shot". Find the prior parts here!

Story continues under the cut. You´re almost finished!!

Continuing to work at the bar for a while, Violet found a surprising guest on the other side of the counter.

“Clover! What are you doing here?"

Clover sank down on one of the chairs.

"A double shot, please" Clover joked, but probably wouldn't say no to a little refresher either.

"Tired?" Violet laughed, handing her a glass of water instead.

"Mhm..." Clover rubbed her face. "I´m slowly running out of energy... Well, how are your squeeze-points doing?"

They exchanged their data. While Violet was doing pretty well with a total of 17 points, Clover had (still) only gathered five points so far.

"Meh... I knew I'd loose" Clover mumbled.

"It's still not too late" Violet tried cheering her up. There's still plenty of time to touch Solom-"

"DONT." Clover shot her giggling friend a glare. "Look, it's not even anything personal, I just... Feel very weird inside when I imagine me walking up to Solomon like this."

Violet's smirk widened.

"You mean like... The fluttery feeling of butterflies in your stomach? Clover, could it be...?! That you lov-"

"I will eliminate you if you end this sentence."

She couldn't hide a smile at the joke, but soon Clover had to realise that her persistence to not squeeze Solomon's tail would have drastic consequences.

"You know...” Violet thought out loud at some point. "We never thought of a price for the winner of our challenge, did we?"

"... Nope."

The ideas kept processing in Violet's head. Then it hit her.

"Or maybe... Rather than thinking of a price, let's do a penalty for the loser."

Clover's eyes wandered up to meet hers, her face curling into a "I don't like where this is going" expression.

"How abooouut... The loser..." Violet began.

"Don't."

"... Has toooo..."

"Please don't."

"...Touch..."

"Why do you hate me."

"... Solomon's tail?" Violet grinned proudly.

"... You really hate me, don't you?"

"Come on, Clover" Violet cheered. "There's still time for you to score some points~!"

Clover wanted to reply something when a weird round of girly giggles caught their attention.

Around the dining tables, a group of female succubi where currently being served by Beel.

But they didn't seem to be interested in the drinks in his hand, but much rather in the man holding them. Even from the bar, the human girls could hear their excited squeals as they kept batting their eyes at the demon.

Clover's head landed on the bar counter in a depressed sigh.

"Whatever... I don't really care about the game anyway..."

In an instant, Violet's whole tone had changed.

"Clover..." She mumbled, voice soft as the patted her friend's head.

"It's been like this the whole evening" Clover grumbled, eyes pointing to the group of succubi. "I can't blame them, but... When I hear them thirsting over Beel, I…"

"Just go up to him" Violet said. "You know Beel, it's not like he'd be interested in some random demons."

The frown on Clover's face deepened. "... And in no random human, either..."

"Stop saying that. You know he likes your company. Likes you."

Clover shook her head.

"Just... Leave me, okay. Thank you, but... I'm just a little angry at myself. I also had so many chances to squeeze his tail but... Yeah..."

Violet clearly remained bothered, but Clover was quick to change the topic.

"Did you get that Luci-butt already?"

"... No" Violet cried. "He dashed away to grab Mammon, and they vanished in the staff room."

"... That's why Mammon was tied to the ceiling fan!" Clover called out. "Explains a lot."

Violet gave a nod, however continuing with her trail of thought.

"It's been quite a while, though... He should have been around the casino area, but wasn't there... And now he's on break, but, again, I have no idea where he is."

"Go search for him" Clover said. "I'll back you up here. I need something to do anyway, so... Go get your man. There's still his tail in need to be squished, right?"

--------------------------

They argued a little, but in the end, Violet accepted Clover's offer and excused herself into an early break. Violet was searching through the whole club. Asking some of the brothers, too, but none could give her a clue. She wasn't able to find him anywhere, so in her desperation, she went up to Simeon.

"Hey, Simeon? Have you seen Lucifer anywhere?"

The angel turned to greet her as well.

"Hello", he smiled. "Does he have a shift right now? If not, maybe he is using the restroom."

"Hm... I've been looking for him for a while now, though..."

Simeon mustered her for a moment.

"He might also be outside to catch some fresh air" he continued his trail of thought. "But I fear he might get a cold if he stays out for too long. Would you mind taking care of him?"

"Huh?" Violet's eyes widened in surprise.

"Lucy always had a bad habit of taking too little care of himself. So, could you check on him? I am sure he would be delighted to see you."

----------------------------------

When Violet pulled open the heavy doors of the bar's back entrance, a head turned towards her immediately.

"Lucifer...!" she called out, looking down on the demon sitting on the stairs.

"Violet... Did something happen?"

He was already in the movement of standing up, worry spreading in his face.

"No no, everything's fine!" Violet quickly assured him. "I just came looking for you."

He stopped mid-motion, but in the end sat down again.

"Why?"

Violet bit her lip. She decided to plonk down beside him.

"I'm also on break now. I thought we could spend it together and relax a little."

She felt his gaze on her, but as soon as she turned to face him, he was looking off into the distance.

"I am pleased to hear you decided to grand me your free time" he smiled. Then, he gave a sigh.

"However... I should probably head back in soon. Someone might need my help-"

"S-stay!"

Violet impulsively grabbed Lucifer's arm before he could escape.

They stared at each other. Until Lucifer let out a breathy laugh.

"Well, if you demand my presence that much... I fear I cannot turn down a request from you."

A little silence came over them. From the side glances Violet threw him, the demon looked kind of... Odd.

"Ah... Is there something you need from me, perhaps?" Lucifer asked. "Or why is it that you want me to stay so badly?"

And from how he looked at her, his perfect attire not shattered, but shreds of exhaustion glistening in his eyes, Violet knew that he wasn't okay.

"I'm good", she replied. "I simply... Wanted to check if you're doing good, too."

Surprise crossed Lucifer's face.

"Of course" he replied. "I am used to working until late."

However, Violet kept inspecting him.

"... Are you worried about me?" he asked. She did not really answer with more than a guilty glance off to the side. "Your worry is misplaced. I am nothing out of the usual."

Violet almost gave a grumbly noise. So he wasn't going to break through his perfect face so easily, huh?

"Okay", she said, tone almost as if she didn't really care. "You know, because I feel kind of exhausted."

Lucifer was hesitating. "... Explain."

"We've been running around for hours" Violet began to list. "The music inside is rather loud, especially near the dance hall. Mammon keeps causing trouble... Well, not only him. It's always tricky dealing with an angry Satan, too, or Beel when he's hungry, or with Asmo when he's... horny..."

The demon interrupted her by giving a huff. He had seen through her plan.

"... So you've come to pity me? Do I seem that weak to you?"

"What? No!" she exclaimed. "I would never think of you as weak!"

She made a little pause. A little nervous, she stretched out her hand to link her pinky finger with his.

"But I... Also don't think it's a sign of weakness to share your exhaustion with others... Let alone to be exhausted in the first place."

His crimson eyes met hers.

"... Why would I be exhausted?" he mumbled. "Dealing with this scumbag of a brother, keeping Beel from illegally eating food supplies without paying for them... Asmo groping strangers, Satan mocking me on purpose... Levi clinging to my side, whining that he wants to go home like some toddler... Oh, did you know Belphie locked himself in one of the toilet stalls to sleep? For two whole hours?" he was waiting for her to laugh, but had to endure her worried expression. "And then there's Lord Diavolo... Mixing his own sparks of crazy into this chaos..."

Mumbling the last part, he looked down on his clothing... Or rather the places where he normally would wear some.

Then his head perked up again.

"Why should I be exhausted?" he asked again. "All that is... Nothing out of the usual..."

Violet's lips curled into a sad smile.

Now she placed his whole hand into her palms.

"You work really hard, Lucifer."

He tried a cheeky smirk. "Words of flattery won't be enough to convince..."

But Lucifer's voice trailed off.

One could even debate that his mouth fell open just a slight bit, seeing the look Violet gave him.

So warm that it truly caught him off guard...

As if admitting his defeat, Lucifer went silent.

He enjoyed how her thumb gently brushed over his hand for a while as he was taking breaths of the fresh midnight air.

Violet was patiently waiting for him until eventually, he would speak up again.

"Aren't you cold?" Lucifer asked. "Your human body surely isn't used to the temperatures of Devildom nights..."

"Huh? No, I'm fine, don't worry about me."

"Oh, surely you are..." The teasing tone in his voice was back. "And I'm sure your outfit is only helping, isn't it~?"

He shot Violet some obvious glances, leading her to instinctively cover her body in a blush.

"Like you're one to talk...!" she mumbled.

"You got me there..." he chuckled. "I would lend you a jacket if I had one, but..."

Lucifer silently gestured at the arm sleeves, shrugging in a manner of "nothin doin".

He got a laugh out of her, and his relief immediately showed on his face.

"Your smiling face will have to keep me warm, then" he said.

Violet's smile turned into a blush immediately.

"Oh~?", he smirked. "A blush is fine as well, thank you~"

Struggling, Violet turned away slightly, trying not to embarrass herself even more.

Then, she felt arms being wrapped around her.

"However, I fear I have to take responsibility for keeping you warm as well..." he murmured close to her ear. "After all, it is my fault you have to sit here..."

The girl turned, and wrapping her arms around him as well, nuzzled her face into his warm skin.

"It's not your fault", she replied softly. "I chose to come and find you."

"... I still don't understand why."

"I told you" Violet smiled. "There's nothing wrong with taking a break from time to time. And if I, in any way, can help you with that, I'd love to do so."

She heard him breathe softly as he was searching for a response.

"... Thank you", he decided to say.

She squeezed him tightly. "You're welcome."

"...Stay like this for a little longer" Lucifer asked of her when it felt as if Violet was trying to pull away.

Of course, she agreed, and so they relaxed into each other’s embrace for a little longer.

Without meaning to, over time Violet's arms were sliding down his body a little, just enough to accidentally brush over something fluffy with her fingertip.

But, oh well, who would even mind gathering points for some silly game when there was something -- or rather, someone else to focus on...

---------------------------

They only parted after Lucifer's phone pulled them back into reality.

Sighing, he announced the end of their break.

"I'm glad we are closing soon..." he mumbled and helped Violet stand up. "Although, cleaning the place will probably leave us with another hour of work until we finally get to head home..."

"It will be exhausting… But we'll power through it" Violet assured, squishing his hand in encouragement.

"Yes..." Lucifer nodded.

Then, he pulled her closer one last time, wrapping one arm around her waist while looking down into her eyes.

"However... I would much appreciate it if we could keep our break a secret."

"Uhm..." the girl blinked, confused. "Sure, but may I ask why?"

"No reason in particular... I would simply ask that as a personal favour."

Then, he leaned in closer. Resting his chin on her shoulder, his hand reached to her lower back.

And Violet gave a gasp as she felt how he provocatively played with her bunny tail.

"In return, I will keep your secrets safe, too."

He pulled back, responding to her dazzled expression with a sly smirk, before passing her to open the door.

-------------------------

Being the gentleman he was, Lucifer held the door open, smiling at the lady as he gestured her to step inside.

"Thank y..." Violet was about to say,

Then both of them looked inside the kitchen.

Beel stood there, together with Clover, both giggling as they snacked on some sweets.

Violet wanted to smile at the sight… But the "shit, we got caught" expression on both of their faces, paired with Lucifer's tangible anger, made her frown instead.

"... Oops" Clover and Beel pressed out, simultaneously letting go of the meringues they had in their hands.

-----------------------

To understand how that situation came to existence, we should go back in time to take a look at Clover's side of the story.

She was cleaning the tables when yet another giggle pulled her out of her thoughts.

The girl felt tired, and had started to count down the minutes left until she could finally go home.

She was really done with life. And those certain giggles made it only worse. She would admit that she wasn't good with things like jealousy.

She just couldn't deal with it.

Not in a way like Mammon, for example, was expressing his tsundere feelings.

No, her way of coping was more... Self hating (like Levi I guess),

And hearing for yet another time how some hot demon girls called a certain waiter over to them drove her insane.

"Do you want to try my cake, Beel~?"

Clover flinched.

She peeked up to see how a demon caressed Beel's arm as she waited for his answer to her question.

Clover couldn't see his face, but, judging from his tone, he was wearing his usual frown.

"... I'm not allowed to eat the food we serve..."

"Oh, don't be like that..." The demon responded, loading some cake onto her fork. "It's my cake now, so I decide who gets to eat it. And I really want yooouuuu..."

She stopped, then one of her friends giggled.

"Are you going to finish that sentence?"

"It's already finished", she purred, seductively winking at Beel before leading the fork up to his face.

Beel was hesitating, for two whole seconds, before chomping down on both, cake and fork.

"Oh... Not again..." He mumbled.

The girls gave a giggle.

"Beel, you're such a beast!" The main (bitch) demon hummed. "That's no good, though... I wanted to feed you another bite, but how, without fork...?"

"Guess you´ll have to do mouth to mouth feeding...", Another chick chuckled.

And as the demon girl stood up to do exactly that, Clover stomped away impulsively.

In her fury, she didn't notice how someone was calling for her. She targeted the table in the most opposite corner possible as someone pulled her arm.

Belphie was staring at her, holding her by her wrist.

"... You're pathetic" he said.

"Thank you, tell me something I don't know yet." Clover pulled her arm out of his grip. "And, what, you've got nothing better to do then watch me be pathetic?"

Belphie blinked in surprise. “I would usually agree that it´s pretty funny to watch you get angry, but I´ve seen you be like this all night. What´s getting you this agitated?”

A deep frown spread on her face, but Clover didn´t answer. So Belphie looked back to Beel.

“Is it because of the succubi? Because of Beel?”

“… Please, leave me alone…”

She didn’t see his worried expression as Belphie was trying to figure the answer to his question.

“… Are you really this insecure?” He finally decided to ask.

As her only response was a short side glare with wet eyes, Belphie understood she wouldn´t talk about it.

“Really… Both of you can be such a pain to deal with…” Belphie breathed before leaving Clover alone.

And Clover felt even worse now.

Not only being so horrible inside, but Belphie tried to help her and she rejected it.

She fought tears as she furiously wiped the already clean table.

Pathetic. Yes, she was so pathetic. Honestly, Beel was probably in better company with those succubi than with an idiotic, childish human like her-

Clover got lifted off of the ground.

Squealing, she noticed too late how arms had wrapped around her thighs, leading her to now flail in the air in panic.

"Wh-what?!" Clover panicked.

"It's time for a break" She felt the culprit cheering into her back.

"... Beel?"

Beelzebub began to head through the local, the girl still in his arms.

"Let's go to the kitchen" he said. "Belphie just told you need a break, and I need your help with something..."

Clover gave some more confused noises, but it was impossible to move in the demon's grip anyway.

"O-okay, but... You don't have to carry me, I'm probably heavy..."

She felt him chuckle. "Heavy? I can carry you with one arm. Look!"

He stretched out his right arm to demonstrate. Beel led them into the kitchen.

The local wasn't serving any food at this late hour, so they appeared to be alone here.

"U-uhm... Beel, are you going to put me down somewhen soon, or...?"

"Yeah, soon..." he mumbled, then walked up to one of the shelves hanging on the wall. "Do you perhaps see anything on top of the shelf?"

Clover tilted her head.

"Yeah, there's a box of... What's that...? Meringues?"

Absolutely delicious meringues!"

Clover gave a little chuckle at the excitement in his voice, but her expression did a full turn when she saw the note attached to the box:

'BEEL. DO NOT EAT.'

"Could you get them for me?" Beel smiled innocently.

The girl hesitated, so Beel asked again. "Please, I can't reach them alone. The shelf is up too high."

"Well... I'm guessing someone hid them there on purpose..."

"Please, Clover... I'm so hungry..."

But as he realised she wasn't going to hand him the box that easily, he let her down to rest on the counter they had been standing in front of.

"Beel, I know you're hungry, but..." she began, however halted as she noticed how terribly tired he looked.“... Are you okay?"

The demon gave a little sigh. "No... I'm exhausted... Not like after training, but just... drained." He leaned against the counter next to her. "What about you? Aren't you tired? Have the customers been nice to you?"

"Huh? Yeah, they have."

"Good" he nodded. "We were afraid that some of the guests might harass you or Violet, but I guess Lucifer's official warning was enough to scare them off..."

Clover fiddled with her fingers.

"There was no need to worry, though. I don't think anyone would have approached us… or me, at least" she said, laughing awkwardly. "I don't have a fair share of people crushing on me like you, hahaha..."

Beel looked at her. "Good. You don't need any demons trying to seduce you. I wouldn't want you to go through a hassle like this..."

"... You don't like the attention?"

He shrugged. "Not really... But I have to be nice to them, so I tend to just ignore what they say. I won't say no to free food or extra money, but... I don't really see why they behave like this."

Clover chuckled, feeling relief at his words.

"Diavolo already said it... Good-looking staff makes more profit."

Beel blinked at her, processing her words. "... Thank you."

"Nothing to thank me for" Clover smiled shyly.

He went silent.

"No... No, there is", Beel then suddenly said, pushing himself off the counter to stand in front of her again. "I've been hit on the whole evening, but... somehow, it feels nice if you're the one to compliment me... You always make me feel nice inside. And for that, I should thank you."

He blessed her with a smile that, obviously, was directly followed by the girls' heart exploding in the love she felt for this man.

However, he still gave off odd vibes.

"...Beel?" Clover called out, seeing how he was deeply contemplating something.

"I was thinking of thanking you with some... Meringues" his smile widened.

"... Beel."

"They're supposed to be delicious! I could feed them to you... If I manage to contain myself. But I'd try really hard, because it´s for you.”

"Beel..." Clover sighed, watching as his puppy grin spread on his face more and more.

"Wouldn't that be nice to feed each other a nice treat...?" he changed into begging puppy eyes.

They stared at each other.

"Beel."

"Clover?"

"We both know you have wings, or could have simply climbed onto the counter if you wanted to get those sweets."

"... But I wanted to share them with you...?"

"We also both know how Lucifer tends to cast spells on the things that you are absolutely not allowed to eat. But those tend to apply to demons only most of the time."

Beelzebub went silent.

"What was that earlier?” Clover continued. “About you not wanting me to be lured by demons? And now, I find myself sweet-talked like this?"

His face had ultimately changed into sulking puppy mode.

"... But I... I'm... I really mean what I said…"

Clover crossed her arms.

"You're a sly demon, mister" she scolded. "And to think you'd take advantage of me like this...!" She fake cried in disbelief.

"I'm sorry..." he pouted.

Silence came over them, in which Clover fully knew that he was thinking of both, how to make it up to her AND how to achieve his goal anyway.

His idea surprised her, though.

"... Want to touch my bunny tail?"

"... Huh?"

"I've seen you and Violet do this to the others" Beel said. "I don't why, but you seemed to have fun, so..." He turned around to expose his tail. "AND I'll treat you with some of the meringues, of course", he added as he noticed Clover was seriously considering his offer.

Clover was grunting something. "Lucifer will kill us", she said.

"He doesn't have to find out."

"... You're evil..."

"Well, I AM a demon, after all" Beel laughed.

And as he teasingly wiggled his tail at her, Clover gave in to the temptation...

------------------------

"Beel... Clover... Would you care to explain what I have to look at right now...?"

Lucifer crossed his arms as he spoke.

Yeah, they were SO screwed.

"... Uhm..." Beel started to mumble while Clover felt her stomach turn in guilt.

"Beel" Lucifer called out again. "Could those be the meringues that I have personally bought and reserved for me to enjoy after work?"

"... There was no name written on it" the avatar of Gluttony said.

Lucifer pierced him with an angry stare. Then he turned towards Clover.

"And you" his tone had the girl shiver visibly. "Demons were unable to touch that box. Hence, I assume it was you who got them? AND ate them, as well?"

"I forced her to do it" Beel immediately chimed in.

"Huh?” Clover blinked in surprise. "Beel, no... I got them! And asked Beel to try them with me. It's my f-fault" she lied.

Now Beel was the one to look confused, and the two kind of drowned in a spiral of trying to protect the other one. But the ruckus only fueled Lucifer's displease.

Already stressed out, he felt like he was about to explode.

If not for Violet who kept him steady.

"Lucifer" she mumbled in a mellow voice, stroking over his arm in a calming gesture. "Don't stress yourself. They will buy you a new package."

Lucifer shot her about the same angered glare as he had done with the others, but softened as he mustered her comforting smile.

With a sigh, Lucifer stepped closer to Beel and Clover.

"... You are lucky to have Violet standing up for you..." he mumbled. "As compensation, I order three boxes of those meringues. Oh, and when we close the bar, do not expect to leave until everything is as tidy as can be."

"Y-yes, sir...!"

------------------------------

Slowly (very slowly I know) but steadily, the evening came to an end...

A lot has happened, way too much to fit into this... One shot... Story... * glances at the total approximate reading time of one hour*

...Well. Let's not talk about that...

A little after 4 AM, every last customer had left the bar/ had been carried out of the dancing hall (like, a few of the most drunk ones literally had to be yeeted out of the local.)

Now everything that was left was cleaning up the local.

Lucifer took it upon himself to punish all of his brothers - and Clover - for annoying him at some point during this event. So those appeared to have an extra load of work, while he pulled Violet aside with him for some more leisure cleaning.

Around five in the morning, it seemed like the bunny crew was finally finished.

"Alright..." Barbatos mumbled, stepping out of the last hall he needed to check. "It seems we are done. All that is left is to take out the trash as we go."

"... How are we supposed to take out the trash? Mammon is still tied to the ceiling" Belphie mumbled casually.

"WHO DID YOU JUST CALL TRASH?!" Some Mammon screamed from the staff's room.

Clover mustered them in amusement, when Violet walked up to her.

"Ooooh, Clooveerrrr...." the girl hummed in a rather... Scary tone.

"... I don't like the look on your face" Clover stated in growing fear.

"You know... We still need to see who's won the challenge" Violet grinned.

Clover crossed her arms. "... Do we really need to compare?"

"Yes."

"Uggghhh..." Clover frowned. She pulled out her phone:

-------

Clover: Lord Diavolo? May we ask how many points you have?

Diavolo: I managed to gather 12 points, fair and square. How many do you two have?

Violet: I have 20 points in total... Although I'm not 100% sure if Lucifer noticed me earlier...

Clover: ...

* Clover has left the chatroom *

------

"Violet, I don't want to do this."

Clover's friend mustered her with a smirk.

"Well..." Violet hummed. "I'm not forcing you, but... You did loose, after all..."

"Violeeet..."

"And look" she pointed at the hall in front of the dressing rooms. "He's standing there, alone, for some reason... It's fate, Clover."

Clover gave the ugliest growl.

But in the end she walked up to Solomon.

She didn't even know how to approach this. Should she try to make it sneaky, or just awkwardly ask?

Legs wobbly, Clover came to a stop behind the sorcerer, reaching out her hand in the same moment that he turned around to face her.

"Oh, hello", Solomon cheered. "Can I help you?"

She flinched backwards.

"Uuhhhh..."

Solomon gave her a confused look, but didn't get to say anything.

Coincidentally, Levi happened to walk up to them as well, wanting something from Solomon.

The human turned around as the two talked.

And finally…

Solomon's bunny tail got touched.

...

Clover escaped immediately. Avoiding any kind of interaction, at all costs.

----------------------------------------------------

The last thing to do before everyone could return home was getting dressed normally again.

And everyone felt so tired that they really just wanted to hit the hay, when...

A panicked scream rang out of the stall Clover was changing in.

"... Clover?" Violet called out, already dressed normally again.

The girl gave continuous panicked noises, pressed out random “What is happening-?!”´s.

Then, all of a sudden, silence came over them.

“Cl… Clover…?” Visibly concerned, Violet was standing in front of the stall´s door, unsure what to do. As she didn´t get an answer, she was trying to open the door, but it was locked.

She had to hurry to get someone to help, and as her face screamed “we have trouble”, most of her friends came to look what was going on.

Barbatos had to help open the stalls door, and when Violet carefully pushed it open…

They saw a small, brown bunny sitting on the floor.

Its green eyes were staring up into the countless pairs of puzzled eyes as they tried to understand the situation.

Violet was the first one to move again. She slowly lowered herself, reaching out to the animal.

“Is that you… Clover?”

“HUH?!”

Half of the people there stared at the girl in disbelief.

“You´re telling me THIS is CLOVER??” Mammon asked with big eyes. Violet had picked the bunny up and stepped out of the stall to get a better look at Clover.

“What happened to her?” Beel asked, worry spread over his face.

Bunny Clover seemed to understand their words. Or at least, she suddenly turned her fluffy head, staring directly at Solomon.

And, well, the sorcerer stared back, an amused smile on his face.

"Ah... So Clover DID touch my tail, after all!"

"... What."

The whole group was now demanding answers.

Solomon chuckled, placing his gaze on Violet now. "I was waiting until one of you would finally approach me and touch my tail... But oddly, none of you seemed to have interest in touching it... I thought I had made myself an easy target, but I must have made it too obvious..."

Violet´s mouth fell open a tad bit.

"... So you really knew of our challenge?" She dared to ask.

But Solomon would only continue to laugh.

"I honestly thought my efforts would go to waste..." He mustered the bunny in her arms. "Don't worry though, the spell will wear off eventually."

"Eventually??" Levi repeated.

"Yes, in a few days or so."

"WHAT?!"

---------------------

The whole way back to the house of Lamentation, Violet had to deal with this grumpy, pissed, simply angwy bunny in her arms. Clover couldn´t speak, but the little facial expression she could give said it all.

“Hey, Cloverrr…” Violet attempted to cheer her up. “Don´t look at me like that… It was fun, wasn´t it?”

Bunny Clover snuffled grumpily.

Yeah, yeah, she thought. It´s all fun and games until it´s about Solomon.

Meanwhile, Bunny Clover had to endure how the brothers kept poking her fluffy fur or took pictures of her.

If she could, Clover would have given a big sigh.

THIS is exactly why I don't trust Solomon... Never did, never will...

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me fanfic #obey me bunny event #IT IS COMPLETED #WHY CAN I NOT WRITE SHORT STUFF THO #i hope you enjoyed this :>

[sky-is-torn]

please tell me your thoughts about peace

Hii my dear!💕 you're so lovely for enabling me to ramble like that🙈 I went back to this ask when I had the time and it gave me a reason to listen to peace even more so than usual, so thank you!❤

Alright so, the first times I listened to peace I didn't really pay attention to it, it flowed seamlessly and I didn't notice the lyrics

But later, I found myself humming along to the song and then I had this kind of delayed reaction of "oh, oh, actually, this is gold"

I love the way she sounds here, the fact that the melody is reduced to a minimum so that her voice sounds like a lullaby, so soothing... It feels like a 'heartbreak serenade' just her standing under a balcony and pouring her emotions out (heartbreak serenade is not a thing obviously but let me just put here that serenades should definitely go back on trend, let people break into songs under balconies please!)

and I love the way her voice gets low and vulnerable in the first part... especially because of the first line "our coming of age has come and gone"; it sets the tone of a more mature tale (compared to betty or august, where she talks of first love)

I know she wrote it to talk about her fame and the things asked of her partners when they decide to be with her... and the true genius of the lyrics is that I related to the song for very different reasons! The way she sings "danger's near... just around the corner... cause it lives in me", devastating, life-shattering. In my head, I link it with the kind of insecurities I have (part of myself, too) that ruin the relationship, sometimes before it's even begun

The way she describes love here is so beautiful, a kind of "intense but in a quiet way" love, if you see what I mean? The "I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm" in a soft, lullaby-like voice, it feels like the definition of yearning -- 'I *burn* for you, but so quietly and so fiercely "I'd die for you in secret", no-one would notice, 'maybe not even you'

I love the way she says "you've got a friend in me", you can feel the trust and devotion she has and the way she offers her own support freely. (I'm the kind of person who thinks that love without friendship can't exist, like, how can you *love* someone you don't trust, someone you don't feel comfortable with?)

And then, and then, this horrible question without answer "would it be enough / if I could never give you peace?" And the way I hear it is "am I enough? will I ever be enough? or will you leave, like they did? am I enough am I enough am I-"

The rest of the song is so emotional because you can feel the way she'd give anything and everything for her love.

"Swing with you for the fences/sit with you in the trenches", the duality of those two lines is like a punch in the gut. I mean... "swing with you", she'd be by his side, his battles would become hers, she'd fight with him/for him... but she'd also be beside him in the trenches, in the cold, in the dark, in the terrible silence before dawn...

And then "give you my wild/give you a child" this!! This!! I can't explain why but this line is so relatable! It's like, the kind of emotion I've experienced without knowing how to put words on it (and she did!) Also, can we talk about how these two lines sound so nice one after the other? It's poetry!!

Some lines make me think of "you are in love", the way she talks of silence, 'give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other'... yeah, this is what love is about, it's abt being secure enough in your relationship to *share* silences, because you truly understand one another

Peace describes such a selfless love... it sounds like "tolerate it", the way she gives everything of herself, except this time it's not about him giving nothing back, in fact the song hardly mentions 'him', it's about her own insecurities (I'm giving you everything, but what if it wasn't enough? What then?)

Ok, first off, if you read all of this, you're my favorite person ❤ also, please share your thoughts on peace, I'm so curious! Do you have a line that resonates with you? Did you like it when you first heard it?

Sending lots of love your way bestie💕💕 I'll get to your other asks another day but please know that each one was a ray of sunshine in my day, talking to you is always so lovely!

#w0nderland❤ #love you bestie💕 #i hope you have a wonderful day!

[mollyhw14]

Fallen Angel : Tied to the Devil's Daughter (demon au Lee Donghyuk / Haechan ) ♛ CH2♛

Seraphina was beyond livid.

She'd come to the dance studio to let off steam but it felt like the complete opposite. Putting on some music, she decided to let loose and see if dancing would at least loosen her temper a little bit.

Stretching to warm up, she slowly began to let her body flow with the rhythm, eventually flowing into the choreography she'd been practicing for the last week. Flawlessly, she completed every step, finishing with a grande jete and her final pose. Once the music stopped she collapsed to the floor, sweating but feeling more alive from the buzz of the dance. Prying herself from the floor, she heard distant clapping from the door way making her whip her head round fast to see who had interrupted her alone time.

Phina was definitely not impressed to see the boy she had glared at previously before for taking over her time slot.

"Wow princess didn't know you were quite the ballet dancer. I must say, doesn't really fit your temper like but you got some moves." His voice was almost teasing-like and this irritated Seraphina a lot. Getting annoyed by his presence, she scowled at him, waiting for his explanation as to why he was even there. Not getting an answer she took matters into her own hands.

"So you gonna tell me why the fuck you're here or am I gonna have to slap some sense in to you?"

He chuckled at her tone, she sounded pissed and it only amused him.

"Now now, sunshine, that's no way to speak to people is it?" He made sure to drag out the word sunshine just to piss her off even more.

"You call me that again and I'll snap your fucking neck!" She'd moved to grab her phone, getting angrier the more she was in his presence.

"Feisty one aren't you? Princess, as much as I'd love to break your neck too, don't think it would go down to well with the police now would it?" His condescending tone irritated her and she stormed out, barging past his tall ass to find her next class.

"By the way, I came to take over my time slot, not that I didn't mind you staring at me Sunshine," he shouted from behind her.

'Staring? Fucking idiot, he's obviously blind to not see I was trying to burn him with my eyes' she thought to herself as she slowed down once entering her classroom. 

Maths was Seraphina's most hated class. It wasn't because she wasn't good at it, if anything she was top of the class. However, she unfortunately had to share this class with the demons in the year above. Three of them being the dicktrio who thought they ran the school. Their dumbasses had dropped a grade and now she had to have this class with them. Not only that, her teacher was a demon too, favouring them more amongst the humans within the class, no matter how dumb they were. Phina often wondered to herself if there was many more teachers who were also demons, and they just kept to their human form?

Waiting for the teacher to come, she glanced around, trying to not make contact with the black orbs that almost laughed at her from across the room. The demons giggled to themselves, knowing how much humans hated eye contact with them, believing they would die from a single look. However this wasn't the case for Phina, she was introverted, and this was why she hated eye contact. She didn't give one shit if this girl was a demon, she just knew the moment they shared eye contact, she wouldn't hear the end of it.

"How's my favourite person!" Phina heard the angelic voice of her friend, before being engulfed by a pair of arms.

"Cheonie, you're strangling me!" Phina managed to choke out before her best friend finally sat in the seat next to her.

"Can I not be happy to see my best friend? Have you calmed down yet?"

Before Phina could reply, she heard the high pitch voice shout out from the other side of the room.

"Shut up Chansa, you might as well be an Angel you're that fucking annoying!"

Hurt flashed across her friends face and Seraphina saw red. How dare she insult her best friend.

"First of all her name is CHEONSA, get it right bitch! Maybe mind your own fucking god damn business before insulting my friend. At least she has a heart unlike you whores."

She glared straight into the black pits of hell, and everyone around them muted. All shocked that not only had she stuck up to the three dicktrio demons, but also because she actually looked them straight in the eye.

Shock was evident on the demons’ faces, but was gone as quick as it came.

"Did you just call us whores?"

"Yes and what the fuck are you going to do about it?"

"You're dead human bitch-"

Just as the girl was about the pounce at Phina, the door swung open to reveal both the teacher and the person she hated just as much as the dicktrio. Lee Haechan.

"What are you doing Seraphina! Get in your seat right this instant and don't utter a single word for the rest of class." Black orbs glowed from the door way at her, stopping the demon in her tracks.

Seraphina was beyond mad. Not only had she been humiliated by the teacher, but that the demons always got their own way. The smirk on their faces showing everyone who had the higher ground.

"Utter bullshit" she mumbled to herself, Cheonsa gave her a reassuring smile.

"Right class we have a new student joining us, Lee Haechan. Make him feel welcome and please, no funny business. Haechan please take a seat next to Seraphina."

Could Phina's day get any worse? Banging her head on her desk, she heard a low chuckle followed by, "You really are a badass aren't you Sunshine? Going against a demon you're definitely asking for a death wish."

Oh how she wished she was dead.

The bell rang signally the end of the day, and nobody was more exciting to be leaving school that Seraphina. The ringing of the bell actually made her smile for the first time that day, as she skipped down the stairs to go meet her best friend outside.

Finding Cheonsa under the school's apple tree, they linked arms before heading off the their usual cafe down the road.

"Why don't you ask Mark if he wants to join us, you said he's been stressed out with exams recently he'll need a break." Cheonsa looked at her friend for an answer, watching as she frowned at the mention of her brother.

"I know, he really stresses himself out too much, mums had to put a lock on the fridge because he's been stress eating."

Mark was Seraphina's older brother, who never let her forget that he was the older ones. He was doing his finally exams to get himself into college, and the boy literally stressed himself out so much over it, he would lash out at anybody who distracted him.

"Do you think he'll be calm enough to even talk to me on the phone?"

Cheonsa hesitated,

"He should be done with them soon, he'd probably appreciate his sister inviting him out."

With that said, Phina brought the phone to her ear to call her brother, entering the all too familiar cafe.

"Yah what do you want I'm busy Phi!"

Phina closed her eyes at the loudness of his voice, knowing her brother would react this way she sighed.

"Never mind. I was going to ask if you'd like to come hang out with us at the cafe but if you're busy just leave it." She snapped at him down the phone, her temper getting the better of her.

"No wait!" the voice on the other side made her jump. He really needed to stop shouting.

"I'll come, I'm sorry for shouting I need a break these exams are driving me fucking insane." His voice was more softer this time, regretting the way he'd spoke to his sister. After all, she was just trying to be nice.

"I'll see you in 5."

Just as the phone line went dead, Cheonsa was walking over with two cups in her hand.

"You know me to well Cheonsie, a peppermint hot chocolate is always the way to my heart."

They both chuckled and sat in their usual spot, before Phia decided to fill her friend in on the new kid.

"Honestly you should've seen him Cheonsa, he thought he was fucking amazing, interrupting my dance slot-"

"Hello to my favourite sibling!" Her brother practically screamed from across the cafe, interrupting her rant.

"Mark I'm your only sibling."

"I know that but still... anyway I brought Renjun because he was with me when you called." Renjun stuck his head out from behind Mark, waving at the two girls.

"Hey Rejun, how've you been?" Cheonsa beamed up at the blonde, eyes never leaving the male.

"I've been good thank you, just trying to finish my portfolio for art."

Phina almost gagged at the way her friend was making heart eyes at the man. She pulled Mark into the booth they were sat at, earning a glare from her friend at their chosen seating arrangement.

"I like your new hair Renjun, have you dyed it?" Cheonsa's attention was back onto the male, swooning at the way he blushed that she'd noticed his hair.

"Yeah I just fancied a change. Do you think it looks okay-"

He was about the finish his sentence when the sudden buzz of his phone interrupted him. Confused, he put the phone to his ear, quizzing the caller.

"What's wrong? Are they being bad again?- Well I don't know....I can ask wait a sec-"

"Hey Cheonsa is it okay if my friend joins us?"

His eyes were pleading at her to let his friend come, and Phina wondered why he would even be pleading when he knew fair well that Cheonsa would agree to anything he said.

"Of course, anything for you." Cheonsa giggled, causing Phina to fake gag, and earning a chuckle from her brother and death glare from her friend.

After getting off the phone, Renjun announced his friend was round the corner and would go and grab him a drink from the counter, asking if anybody else wanting one too.

As he neared the counter, her friend sighed, love evident on her face.

"He's just so charming isn't he?" She sighed again, looking towards the boy she had a huge crush on.

"Yeh he's alright I guess-"

"Oh hey Sunshine, didn't know I'd be seeing you here."

Phina's eyes nearly popped out their sockets at the high pitched voice she could recognise anywhere.

Why did her day just keep getting worse.

#Haechan #nct #lee hacehan #lee donghyuck #donghyuck au #nct dream donghyuck #donghyuck fanfic #nct donghyuck #demons #demon au #angels and demons #fallen angel #Mark #mark lee #renjun #huang renjun

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

What is your thoughts on feelings? Like, my dad and I get into this argument a lot, its mainly that you shouldn't let feelings dictate your life and you should let God have full control over it because your heart is in nature sinful. I agree with him to a certain extent, it's just that we're human and we have feelings for a reason. Idk but I'd really like to know what you think!

I’m with you -- by all means, we shouldn’t let our feelings control us; we should be aware that our feelings can mislead us or cause us to act rashly or lash out at others. But they are also important parts of how God fashioned us. God didn’t fashion us to be, what? thoughtless or emotionless automatons! or puppets God controls! 

God gifted us with free will because Xe longs for genuine, mutual relationship with us -- such a relationship cannot happen when one party controls the other. So God chooses to limit Hir power to let us choose our own path -- even while God continuously guides us towards the paths that will lead to our abundance.

And yeah, our feelings are influenced by sin, and by things like fear, and our limited perspective on any given situation. But they also help us recognize things we might not otherwise notice -- our needs and wants, what we are called to do and how we are called to grow... We are embodied, inspirited beings, and from the beginning God called that embodiment and that inspiritedness good (Genesis 1:31). So it’s good for us to learn how best to live as embodied spirits -- not to let our emotions control us, but to learn how to listen to them, what they can tell us about ourselves and our relationships with others and with God.  

I want to share this quote with you, and recommend the book it’s from -- Learning to Walk in the Dark by Barbara Brown Taylor. It’s all about learning to faithfully embrace our emotions, from joy into pain, to listen to them and ask God to help us learn what all these many feelings can teach us. Here’s the quote: 

“What if I could learn to trust my feelings, instead of asking to be delivered from them? What if I could follow one of my great fears all the way to the edge of the abyss, take a breath, and keep going? Isn’t there a better chance of being surprised by what happens next? …After years of being taught that the way to deal with painful emotions is to get rid of them, it can take a lot of reschooling to learn to sit with them instead, finding out from those who feel them what they have learned by sleeping in the wilderness that those who sleep in comfortable houses may never know.”

________

Jesus, who is one of the Three Persons of the Triune God, experienced feelings -- the full range of feelings, from happiness to grief, from exhaustion to anger! Examples:

Jesus feels “deeply troubled” or “disturbed” in John 13:21 

Jesus feels compassion and tenderness over and over and over again -- towards people who are hungry, or oppressed, or asking for his help, or weeping, and more (e.g. Luke 7;13, Matthew 9:36 and 14:14 and 15:32 and 20:34...)

In Matthew 23:37 / Luke 13:34, Jesus seems to fill a mix of dismay/anger and tenderness, as he complains that Jerusalem has been the execution for many prophets and he wishes he could gather the people there “just as a mother hen gathers her chicks under her wings.”

Likewise in Luke 19:41, he weeps over the city. 

Jesus gets pissed off at a fig tree and in the temple (Mark 11:12-25)

Jesus gets frustrated with his disciples for not getting what he’s trying to tell them (Matthew 16:8-12) 

Jesus feels tired and thirsty (John 4:6)

Jesus is so full of grief at the death of his friend Lazarus and in viewing the grief of his friends Mary and Martha that he himself sobs and groans (often translated something about being “deeply troubled”) (John 11:33)

And let’s get some happiness in here! “At that very moment, Jesus overflowed with joy from the Holy Spirit and said, ‘I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you’ve hidden these things from the wise and intelligent and shown them to babies. Indeed, Father, this brings you happiness’” (John 10:21). Jesus felt so much joy that he was overflowing with it!

Jesus also speaks of his joy in John 15:11 - “I have said these things to you so that my joy will be in you and your joy will be complete.”

And I do believe that Jesus often felt happiness, and took the time to enjoy food, and nature, and good company. He was visiting people’s homes for dinner like. all the time. And speaks so lovingly of “the flowers of the field” in their beautiful “clothing” (Matthew 6:28)

Jesus apparently was happy, and eating, and drinking, often enough that some accused him of being a drunkard! (Luke 7:34)

Jesus experiences deep fear and agony in the garden of Gethsemane, an emotion so deep that he sweats blood! (Bible passages)

And the ultimate: Jesus feels so much agony and betrayal and pain and humiliation on the cross that he feels abandoned by God, and cries out “My God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46)

If we believe that Jesus never sinned, and he felt the full range of emotion, then how can feelings be sinful? If we consider him a role model, can’t we learn from how he experienced and expressed feelings? 

And God Themself is often moved to anger, to compassion, to grief, and more throughout the Bible. I invite you to pay attention to God’s feelings any time you read a bit of scripture -- you’ll notice a lot of them!

___________

Gonna link you to some other posts on my blog that go into this stuff in more detail -- and if you have more questions after checking some of those out feel free to ask!

Some posts about emotions from my FAQ and elsewhere...

Is it a sin to feel anger/hate? What do I do? Answer, Answer

See my #anger tag for more!

See also my #hard emotions tag

Also my #in the valley of the shadow tag

Here’s a nice post on “how to change your mood while honoring your feelings” 

And a wonderful post on listening to feelings like anger and jealousy without letting them control you

Posts with examples of feelings in the Bible!...

Quote with examples of biblical figures experiencing difficult feelings.

Here’s a post with some examples of biblical figures calling out to God with deep emotion.  

I recommend reading through the Book of Psalms for examples of faithful people feeling the whole range of feelings, from anger and loneliness and doubt to joy and connection and gratitude. Some of these feelings, like hate, shouldn’t be acted on, but the psalmist didn’t pretend they weren’t feeling that hate just because it’s “ugly” or dangerous -- they brought it to God instead. 

A quote on Jesus’ suffering

You also might like my tag #the human Jesus

For the idea of God having full control over our lives + free will stuff...

I’ve got a video on the idea of God’s control and “let go, let God” type sentiments

A post on God self-limiting in order to enable our free will

A post on how God is not abusive, and thus will not force or control us

The rest of my #free will tag 

#feelings #emotions #control #hard emotions tag #free will #Anonymous #the human jesus #jesus' emotions

[smalltowndetective]

Yay questions!! 💕

I'd love to know about your N route then, if you're willing and able! Questions 2, 10/11 and 15? :3c 💕

Hello! Thank you for asking! ❤ You’re the best!

And I guess that means that I get to talk about my first detective, Pearl! (Which is probably a shock considering how I write for her the least) A lot of these questions were originally me trying to flesh her out, and then it kind of spiraled into wanting to hear the perspectives of everyone’s detectives!

So, meet Detective Pearl Reid! :D

2. We have been told a little about N’s overprotectiveness. What are your detective’s feelings on it?

This was the exact question that started this whole list. We still haven’t seen much of this in-game just yet, but from the way Sera has been talking about it, we will likely really start seeing this in Book 3. But Pearl’s feelings? It’s something that I have been going back and forth on to be honest, because I’m honestly not sure. Last I checked, her stubborn stat is 75 of all things, and it is very hard to change her mind once she has it set on something. Initially, I was going to have her not be cool with it at all (wouldn’t be a reason to break up, but it would cause some tensions), but the more that I think about it, I don’t think it would cause as many tensions as I would have thought it would. Pearl is stubborn, yes, also incredibly sarcastic, and so used to keeping a familiar friendliness with people while also keeping them at arms length, and she’s never had someone truly look after her. At first glance, it would seem like something she wouldn’t need or want, and before she met Nate, I don’t it was something that she would have ever even thought she was missing. Pearl is so used to going through the world alone, feeling like she can’t trust anyone except herself, and then Nate goes and changes all of that. Would it still slightly annoy at her times, due to her desire to not feel like the weak link of the team? Yes. But if she tells him this, she tries to take a very special road in this. She will not try to belittle his concerns or make him feel crazy for having them in the first place, but try to reassure him that everything will turn out okay. But yes, Pearl’s feelings on this are a bit strange, and while this isn’t the point of this question, she is very good at deflecting, almost as much as Nate is, but she doesn’t feel like she has to do so anymore around him. So, she is hoping, that the more she shares about herself, parts that she has hidden away for a long type, that he’ll feel comfortable enough to share what he was been holding back. But Pearl is pretty protective of Nate as well, a little less obviously, but the world is not going to give her the best thing that ever happened to her and take it away. She’s won’t let it.

10. If on the Bobby route, did your detective and Bobby kiss? Unwanted or Wanted? How is your detective dealing with this? And how do you think N will react once they find out?

Okay, I have about the most boring Bobby route of anyone haha. Back when I first started playing, and the question came up of who Bobby was to the detective, I had decided, that I did not like this guy from the second that I meant them, and I really did not want to have him as an ex (I was not thinking about the angst possibilities later haha) So, Bobby is Pearl’s acquaintance, and she thinks he’s a pretty awful person who sells over people’s secrets for profit, so yeah, not a very good relationship there. (Probably won’t change this either, for nostalgia sake) I am probably the only person with an acquaintance Bobby on a Bobby route, but I really like it? Like Pearl barely knows him, has no history with him at all besides what she hears through the grapevine, and all of a sudden, he’s starting to hang around more and more, looking for answers (or so he says), and she’s about had it with him. From bugging her office, and planning to record their interaction in her apartment, he’s lucky that all that he’s gotten from her is just a few sarcastic comments. But, on the vein of boring Bobby routes, she didn’t let him in her apartment, her 75 stubborn stat saving her of this. He really thought he could just walk into her apartment at 1 in the morning? Like, I’m sorry? Pearl barely knows who you are, why are you doing this? She is not going to let herself be torn down into letting him in, no matter how hard he tries to convince her- Pearl doesn’t play games like that. But, of course that means no Bobby kiss unfortunately. And while I have thought about letting him in anyway, it’s just not something Pearl would do, especially with someone like Bobby. But let’s play around with hypotheticals. What if she did let Bobby in? Well, the thing is, she’d probably push him away if he even tried to, so again, no kiss. And I’m honestly not sure how N will react once this is all revealed, but I’m excited to see! :)

15.  What is your detective’s relationship with Rebecca like? If they saw the conversation that she has with N before the end of Book 2, what would they think?

Pearl’s relationship with Rebecca is a bit strange. They are not close, but it is not tense between them either. Due to her absences, and Pearl not trying to make their relationship closer, it kind of just feel in this strange middle ground territory. But really? Pearl hated her mother putting her job above her family, but she’ll never admit that. The closest you’ll get to an answer is a “Yeah, I didn’t like it” I’ve mentioned before how she has never had anyone look after her before, and I’ll extend that to Rebecca as well. She always gave the air of a very “independent” child, and it is likely that Rebecca didn’t see that was something that she wanted. But this is starting to steadily improve (especially with Rebecca checking in the Book 3 demo). She’s cautious not to push anything (one of the few things she’s cautious about), and while the time lost will never fully be gained back, she’s willing to put the past behind her and move forward. How much will their relationship actually improve is something that I’m uncertain about, but the option is open at least. Now, even with her wanting to improve their relationship, she would not appreciate her trying to get in the middle of anything. (Which is how she would see that whole conversation) I mean, that whole “Don’t hurt her Nate”? Like, that does not seem like just a simple thing, like there is a reason for it, something Pearl would immediately pick up on. Probably wouldn’t try to interrupt the conversation (I’m guessing the detective is eavesdropping here), but it would stick with her. She would probably go to Rebecca later, absolutely livid that she would try and get involved in the first place. (You can’t not care about me over the course of my life and then act like you can get in the middle of my relationship) Does she truly believe that Rebecca didn’t care at all? Not exactly. But she can’t just in the middle of her life now after so long apart. (And added note- That whole “I think it would hurt me far more” would also stick with her, something she would replay in her head over and over again)

#detective pearl reid #nate sewell #wayhaven route questions #thank you again for asking! #you are the best!

[whats-the-story-tc]

21st of April, 2020

"The One with the Fairy Tale"

(Pssst! If I were you, I'd read this post first before starting this new one!)

I cannot believe this is my life.

A couple minutes before the 8 AM rush hour, a Google Classroom notification from V arrived. Then another. Someone likes a spam, I thought, before opening the first one.

Sigh of relief. It was only the essay I'd already sent her. On to the next one, the detailed info on what we were covering today. The play on the table is both figuratively and literally a fairy tale. V, pretty critical of the play and its character work itself, made sure to bring one particular monologue to our attention, which tackles a rather difficult topic in a pretty simple play about love and longing — human mortality. "(It's my particular favourite, too, but don't let that influence you.)" She wrote after explaining what it was. The last paragraph though, now that was something else. "For those of you interested in an A level (here you imagine me looking at certain people)" she began, and my eyes widened as I read it. Sure, there are literature buffs in both classes, but... I can't help but think it was first and foremost an indirect to me. I mean, I'm probably the biggest nerd out of all of us, and she's always looking at me anyways... I want to dream big and say she wanted me to see it most. I mean, it's a link to an incredibly long essay. The situation speaks for itself.

"Look at this silence," V said as she entered our server at around 11 AM. Once she was here, we (as in all of us) started chatting about the break and quarantine. "It has been Sunday for two months." I declared, V immediately continuing the thought: "That part of Sunday, no less, where the line between the previous week and the next one blurs." Couldn't have said it better myself.

As V spoke about the story, I just leaned back on my bed, letting myself get immersed in the explanation and the sound of her voice while trying to imagine everything. After a while, it all started sounding like the plot of Mozart's opera, The Magic Flute — especially when V said that our protagonists, a human boy and a fairy girl, both had companions of the same sex along the way. And as soon as she said those companions are actually married, I waited for her to take a tiny break in speaking and said "How surprising." According to Bookworm Friend, she laughed, but I couldn't hear it clearly because someone made a noise. Then she said "Obviously..." and basically shaded the whole plot line, though I don't remember the rest of the sentence. And guess what she brought up immediately? That's right. The Magic Flute. I was floored! "That's what I was thinking, too!" I chimed in immediately. She took the words out of my mouth! And, soon as I said that, I got a text from Bandana Friend.

BanF: "Wow the twinning"

It's official, folks. Even from a distance, V and I are sharing a braincell.

Serious shit went down in class, including pointing out some... very suggestive imagery that caught us all off-guard because the thing she mentioned isn't inherently suggestive, but okay, V, you do you. (Obviously, I'm not going into detail here, nor sharing the conversation Bandana Friend and I had here because... this is simply not the platform.)

But what I can share is a really funny bit that caused a bit of a pandemonium in the separate class chat none of our teachers are in. You see, about half an hour into class, The Boyfriend sneezes with what is probably the volume of a medium-sized family house collapsing. About five seconds of absolute comical silence follows, then we just hear V saying "Sorry. I'm sorry." before carrying on. All this caused quite the stir, featuring texts like:

BanF: "The whole house just quaked"

and

Classmate: "Jesus who was this 😂😂"

Classmate: "Tell me it wasn't [V]"

S: "No, her man"

Classmate: "Good heavens I thought it was her 😂😂"

and

S: "I laughed so hard that I thank God I was on mute"

So yeah. That's on that. Bit later, with the words mentioned here, V ended class, and there I was, on Cloud 9, dancing around my room and humming Disney songs from the sudden serotonin charge. That was probably the moment I decided to read the play V spoke about. You see, she didn't assign it because the wording is quite difficult (the text is quite old) and students usually struggle with it, but she said that we wouldn't lose anything by reading it, if we wanted to. And thus it happened that I sat down on my balcony at around 5 PM with the first chapter open on my phone, ready to read.

I knew she'd be right. I trust her opinion and my reading comprehension skill suffers at the stake of my absolute inability to concentrate for longer than 10 seconds. But guys. Some of the longer sections I had to go over at least three times before I understood what was going on! An hour or so must've passed when I read the last line of the first chapter, and the butterflies in my stomach took flight. It was time to text V about it. It was my original plan, anyway. Figure out how right she was, then tell her about it. I was already incredibly nervous, trying to stick to what I'd planned on writing. My fingers typed on autopilot and as soon as I was done, I could barely believe I was actually going through with this. But alas, you only live once, carpe that fucking diem. One big breath. Two biiiiig breaths.

Send.

S: "Well, Miss, I'm not saying you were right about the text of [the play], but I've only read Chapter 1 and I'm already doubting if I even speak [my native tongue]... 😅"

I immediately tossed the phone on my bed and ran away panicking. What will she say? How will she react to seeing it's me again? What does she think? Am I funny enough? Am I bothering her? When will she reply?

Half a minute later (!!!), I see the icon of The Platform That Shall Not Be Named on my screen. No. No. No. Nonononononono. I picked the phone up and unlocked it with a shaking hand. I was not prepared for what I was about to read.

V: "Hahaha, well, babydoll...You do. You're just not used to [the old-timey wording]."

I only had the time to sink to my knees, eyes wide, lips agape, when the next message followed.

V: "Though, once you're already through it, I'm curious about your opinion on the play's stageability. 😄 (given such a word exists)"

You bet your asses all air left my lungs. Not only did she call me babydoll again, now in a way that I could forever remind myself of it, but she basically just prompted another conversation! She wants to talk to me again! And I'll have you reminded, V's basically trusting my judgement based on the scriptbook I showed her at the dawn of time, that she'd never actually seen in action! I wonder what I did to earn all this trust...

S: "I'll see at the end and tell you :)"

V: "Alright :))"

Then, all brave from the double smiley, I had a really stupid and impulsive thought. (Don't yell.) Me being the little shit that I am, I googled stageability and took a screenshot of no results having been found. I took a screenshot, cropped it and sent it to V, my head being completely empty as I did. I acted purely from gut feeling.

S: "Tough luck this time, it seems😄"

V: "i thought so!"

(I can only hope she took it as a joke. But, the way I know her, she probably understood. Still, the me of right now, exactly two days and two minutes later, wouldn't do it.)

And this is where it ended. This is where I ended. My hands, my legs, even my lips were trembling as I tried to process the sudden load of emotion overcoming me. What did I just do. What did we do. What happened here. All this just echoed in my head, and I went ahead and texted every friend I wanted to tell in all caps.

BanF: "WOAAHHHH"

BanF: "you guys have really warmed up to each other"

Even now, as I was typing, I got the chills just thinking about this conversation. If it wasn't for the 'Miss' and my use of formal pronouns in the very first text, it would've just felt like two friends, who happen to both love literature, talking. And this really warms my heart, because there's this fantastic woman, who I genuinely think is one of the best influences on my life and... she just likes me for me. She immediately answers when she can, comes off genuinely happy to talk to me, prompts another thing I can tell her about and all but tells me that my opinion matters to her. Because this is her. I'm almost convinced that I will never hear her outright say that she likes me or she's proud of me, but, should I have any doubts, she does everything to let me know. I just misunderstand her sometimes, not knowing where to look.

When I tell you all this still doesn't feel real...

~ S ♡

[Every story I share here, no matter how specific I get with my wording, depicts actual events from my own life.]

#tc #tcc #teacher crush community #female tc #female teacher crush