#cool jail

[themegachessatron]

A Review of my time in Skyrim's Prisons (Featuring some followers): Riften Jail

Part 5 of my Skyrim Prison Review series. This chapter finally breaks the "every interior looks the damn same" chain by looking at Riften, Skyrim's capital of corruption, inequality and... fishing. I think that last one might be important.

Since my last review the inner circle has grown a few notches. Joining me this time is Dunmer heartthrob Teldryn Sero, Whiterun's finest donkey Lydia, Jordan the peak Riekling specimen and the returning Inigo and Sofia. Actually getting arrested and put into the cell here proved surprisingly difficult. We first tried punching one of the homeless people on the streets unprompted but nobody batted an eye when we did. Then I tried stealing food from a nearby cart but again, nothing. So for the third attempt I thought of a real humdinger. I went into the orphanage and suplexed the old lady running it so hard that her spine broke and she died instantly. The children in the orphanage were naturally very happy and- wait, happy!? I was shocked to find them all celebrating her death! I mean she was called Grelod the Kind for Diagna's sake! I swear, kids these days are so ungrateful! Nobody even called the guards! I murdered an innocent old lady without consequence and I have no idea why. In the end we had to literally beat a guard to death to finally get in enough trouble to warrant an arrest. So much hassle, and for what? Well let's see...

Riften's cell is oddly nice, with a full bed provided in each cell as well as a desk, lighting setup and chairs (no rug though, unfortunately). It was also quite cramped inside the cell with all us inside of it due to the relatively small floor size. Had we all not decided to investigate as a group this would've likely been far more adequate of a cell. There are even multiple other cells in this jail, so it's clearly built for capacity (Maven has a lot of enemies it would seem).

Attached to the back wall was a pull ring. The ring in question somewhat blended in with the dark colouration of the walls and pulling on it opened a secret entrance and revealed a secret tunnel behind the prison walls. The actual outline for the secret entrance was quite clearly visible so identifying it as a possible escape route was easy. Normally in this situation I'd leap at the opportunity to criticise the laziness of the guards in not being able to identify the obvious avenue for escape, likely by making some joke about them being more blind than a Falmer or the like, but given the very obvious and deep-rooted corruption in Riften hold (which on fear of my life I know nothing about), it's more likely the guards know about it but are paid to turn a falmer's eye. This isn't as bad as the guards being incompetent at their jobs. It's worse. It shows just how tarnished the internal systems of this city are and is beyond shameful.

Further down the path we were greeted by... a bathing spot? Excess water flow point? Fishing training spot? Given the large Riften fishing scene I'm inclined to assume it's the latter (See? Told you the fishing would be important!). Unfortunately when we arrived there were no fish in the water or indeed fishers-in-training doing their practice reels. Perhaps they were taking the day off?

The path continued downward to eventually lead to a sewer grate (very original, Riften. Veeeeerrrry original). We sent Jordan ahead first to ensure the path ahead wasn't too mucky and/or filled with waste. He (She? It?) was hesitant at first but a quick reminder of her (His? Its?) position in our tribe proved convincing enough to put its (I'm going with its) mind at ease.

We were dropped out of the grate into the depths of Lake Honrich. Hardly the most glamourous escape but it sufficed. Inigo wasn't particularly happy getting his fur so wet but the damage had already been dealt. We took this opportunity to return to the jail normally using guard armour and a few brilliant false moustaches as disguises to look at the space outside the cells.

As previously mentioned, there are a lot of cells in this jail, significantly more than most and the building is well-designed to accommodate these large cells. Though if the rather pompous-looking man in the top left corner is any indication some of the more well-off prisoners can quite easily obtain certain luxuries for their cell. It's also worth noting that (while not pictured above because I forgot to take a visual illustration of it at the time) the prisoner belonging chest is in a wholly separate room in the jail, multiple rooms apart from where the cells are located so no optimistic burglar is picking their cell lock, breaking into the belongings chest and retrieving their beloved Nightingale Boots easily, that's for sure!

Overall... wow. This jail is something else. Much like Riften itself it's simultaneously a brilliant location that operates highly efficently or the biggest sack of Chaurus droppings I've ever encountered. Much of it's defining strengths only exist due to deep seated corruption and the influence of one particularly angry middle-aged woman making them so (which again, I reiterate, I know *nothing* about). As such I can't in good faith call Riften Jail an adequate prison.

Final score: Three Nightingale Boots out of Ten Nightingale Boots

Thank you for reading this review. Next time we go slightly more formal and investigate Imperial HQ, Solitude and the Castle Dour Dungeons

#skyrim #tes v #tes v skyrim #inigo #inigo the brave #skyrim prison review #sofia skyrim #Riften #Riften Jail #We do a little thievery #maven black briar #Maven is a bitch #Teldryn sero #lydia skyrim #Jordan the Riekling Warrior #riekling #cool jail #shame about the corruption

[chaosandwolves]

Honestly I think it's hilarious

they let Ryan out of press jail and he immediately causes chaos

Please, I need more interviews with him.

Article here

#ryan guzman #Oliver stark #Buddie #911 abc #911 spoilers #911 cast #Please I need him to be more chaotic #He's playing it relatively cool now though #He knows he'll go back to press jail otherwise 😂 #But I need him to stir up more chaos please

[sableeira]

whoever edited that bsd official art to make it look like chuuya is holding onto dazai’s arm will be put on trial for irrevocably changing my brain chemistry and making me so much worse

the original and the edit in question. this artwork really makes me crave a mid to late 19th century historical au where Chuuya is a swordsman struggling with changes to his job due to the meiji restoration and with Dazai as a detective/private investigator who hires Chuuya as his bodyguard when a seemingly harmless investigation turns dangerous. they kind of hate each other (as per usual) but Chuuya needs the job and Dazai, while he proclaims to dislike chuuya, is also very smitten with chuuya’s fighting style and temper (as per usual).

#also the person who edited that bsd dead apple official art to make it look like they are holding hands will be put in jail without a trial #the red ribbon tangled around their intertwined hands 😵‍💫 #<- does that person know the impact and damage that edit did to society? #oh yeah btw I’m not sure if the clothes fit mid - late 19th century but those decades make for a cool setting #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd fanart #soukoku #skk #bsd dazai #chuuya nakahara #osamu dazai #bsd chuuya #my art #bsd #I need more skk historical aus :( if I had the time and a solid story idea (more than just the vibes) I would write this #although I feel like I wouldn’t be able to do that setting justice with my current knowledge about mid to late 19th century japan #I finished this one a month ago and just didn’t post it because there was stuff that I wasn’t happy with (finally managed to fix them lol)

[chambers003]

happy ace week

#if youve seen this before i was in reblog jail when i tried to post it the first time round so idk if it will post that one too or… #functional website #my post #grian #pearlescentmoon #jimmy solidarity #solidaritygaming #skyblings #codduo #<- i think this is their duo name. shoutout to empires season 1 for being cool and awesome #do jimmy and pearl have a duo name?? they should they are cool and awesome too #anyway i woke up this morning with a vision and within half an hour i made this. and then i was in reblog jail for 5 hours #it was pain agony suffering and misery in the planet earth #ace week #this post has everything. siblings truthing. excellent headcanons if i do say so myself. funny meme. temporal relevence

[waywardsunlight]

let's go lesbians

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #falin touden #marcille donato #dm fanart #dungeon meshi fanart #farcille #the cycle of consumption and being consumed in a dunge- #getting sent to jail for overthinking cute anime #weird place to say it but I really admire ryoko kui #i love. how much she puts into her world and the very well-thought out structure and reality of the dungeon it's cool

[alizera62quartz]

Outfit Memes- M,15 FunDay Jail

Outfit Meme outfits are from: alizera62quartz

#alizera62 #my artwork #fanart #yandere #sdj #fusion #sdj jack #sdj jill #dress up #sunnydayjack #sunny day jack #somethings wrong with sunny day jack #outfit meme #memes #art memes #cool outfits #clowns #funday jail #sunny day jack fanart #80s style #ghost

[mangora]

#also platonic gwameron and gwourtney and scourtney were good tbh #and Duncan’s arc would’ve been cool if he didn’t BLOW UP A HOUSE AND GO TO JAIL #also yea Mal’s character is kinda inherently ableist and not well written #but he had potential #and he was funny asf #also I will say this until I die but the twist at the end of Spanish Inquisition was SO GOOD I love that episode sm #Platonic doey was also kinda cute ngl #I don’t hate all stars bc some of the writing was good but some of it is just so astronomically bad and insane too #alex’s td rambles #actually I take it back all stars is the worst season because Svetlana fucking died

[mossmanismoss]

Redesigned Callisto for the 8th time

#god of war #Callisto gow #yeah #I really like genetics and think theyre cool but Kratos's were not adding up #also justice for Callisto #mf had two sons of Zeus and then got cursed and jailed in Poseidons basement on Zeus's behalf like dawg #SHE COULDNT EVEN DIE IN PEACE BECAUSE ZEUS TOOK HER AGAIN #LEAVE HER ALONNNNNNNEEEE #I like to think she probably immigrated to Sparta from Egypt and just quickly blended in #I think her dad was a merchant and a farmer so he probably went to greece a lot and she took inspiration #she didnt know where she was going she just wanted to go to Greece #she regrets that choice #her family probably thinks she got murdered or something they havent heard from her fr #I have a lot of Callisto lore on my mind

[iraprince]

experimenting today with layer borders/stroke effects to quickly portray high-detail/texture stuff, like this wip still life of a knitting project...! doing better than past times i've tried this tip, i think

it's not very fast, bc i find i have to rly slow down + be intentional abt my lines or it starts looking pretty artificial (u know all those awful "comic book lines" filters in selfie editing apps + stuff? yeah.) but it's still certainly faster than outlining individual stitches

there's already an INCREDIBLE wealth of very nicely crafted shortcut brushes for this kind of thing in the csp assets store, including specifically for knitting stitches etc! but in my experience a lot of those have a pretty clean/crisp art style, and when ur married to very textured/grungy brushes like me, they end up looking very pasted-in or clip-art-y. :') it's such a shame bc i wish i could use all the great stuff that already exists but usually it just doesn't gel w my stuff. (<-guy who needs to learn how to make my OWN brushes)

#wip #sketchbook #process #my art #every day i press my face to the screen and sigh wistfully and wish just a little tiny bit that i had a very clean crisp digital style #JUST bc so many super talented brush makers have created stuff that is like. extremely cool and convenient #but alas. i am in grungy jail #actually now that i think of it i HAVE managed to make some of those outside knitting brushes work before!! in a comic from a year or 2 ago

[themegachessatron]

A Review of my time in Skyrim's Prisons (Featuring some followers): Castle Dour Dungeons

The dead speak! This is part six of my ongoing series reviewing the prison facilities in each of Skyrim's major cities. I'm sorry this one took longer than the others, I just came back from a place with very poor internet and could not post for a while.

In this chapter we examine the capital of Skyrim, Solitude. Expectations for the Castle Dour Dungeons are high given its location in the imperial and indeed national capital. I'm anxious to see if it lives up to such lofty expectations or falls short and gives the Stormcloaks another reason to hate Tullius' guts.

Upon entering my cell I was presented with a notably scarce décor. There is a table provided with seating for two and a single sleeping space (are they expecting us to have friends over for lunch?). Also supplied was an adequate lighting source, an additional chair off to the other side of the cell (for all one's third wheeling needs), a waste disposal bucket, multiple sacs into which things can be placed and a pile of hay which is presumably to act as sustenance in the event a steed ends up in here for horsing around the city. I had noticed that the southern-left wall appeared to have some faulty bricking installed which I have to consider a shortcoming of the maintenance of this facility. I was about to investigate further when I encountered an issue.

He keeps doing this. It's become a recurring issue. I am here to experience this prison fully from the perspective of a prisoner and yet Inigo insists on quickly releasing me at every turn. I had asked him this time why he paid my leave and how he had acquired the funding to do so, but he responded by saying that he hadn't paid any bail at all and refused to elaborate further. I'm scared. This Khajiit clearly knows something I don't which worries me deeply.

I at this point decided "to the Far Shores with it" and did the review at whatever way I so chose. Inigo made it clear that integrity was for the feeble anyway. I examined the central room outside my cell and was greeted with a truly breath-taking sight. Apart from some choice walling which I will elaborate on later, this building is simply magnificent in terms of architecture and structure. It's a sight to behold with expertly laid out cells and a torture chamber, a feature not seen in any other prisons so far. Though the presence of a torture chamber is likely motivated by the civil war, it can also function as an effective deterrent from any hopeful escape artists trying to free themselves or reach the belongings chest to retrieve their potions of vigorous well-being or the like. The layout and structural design of this facility puts every one previously reviewed to shame, with one exception.

This wall is frankly pathetic. It obviously stuck out from the moment I arrived and exposing it to so much as a minor gust fully collapsed a person-sized chunk of the wall leading to a potential escape route. Now, I'm hardly a qualified construction worker but this does not seem well put together at all and creates a myriad of issues, least of all giving prisoners an escape route. Falling bricks may not only put the safety of prisoners at risk but unattended bricks may be used as weaponry to attack innocents. This is simply shoddy and nothing else. I had expected better.

Following the resulting path led to a greater issue. This path goes directly to the prisoner belonging chest and leaves said chest fully exposed. Now admittedly the chest, like all belongings chests, is protected by a very strong lock but the point still stands that easy access is granted to prisoners who are afforded the luxury of retrieving their aforementioned potions of vigorous well-being to keep themselves in shape during the escape should an altercation break out. This opening, much like the faulty walling that created this escape route, is also the result of shoddy build quality and upkeep in Castle Dour. It may look impressive but it very evidently folds like a deck of cards.

Beyond this lay a very short trip to the exit out into the city through a sewer drain. This exit combines the worst elements of Dragonsreach Dungeon and Riften Jail to form an utterly uninspired and uninteresting route to escape that leaves little to make the escape feel special for the fleeing criminal. Still, I suppose beggars cannot be choosers when you are escaping prison.

Emerging from the drain onto the city streets reunited me with my team who, with the exception of the ever-unpredictable Inigo had decided not to partake in the bulk of this review. They had been fortunately spared from the events that led to my Solitude arrest which may or may not have involved getting up onto a stage in the middle of a public execution and singing a song about Goblins (A song which Jordan found particularly entertaining). What I had failed to account for during my following of the escape trail was the Imperial guard finding the wall hole during my escape and following it to chase me down under a new separate charge of destroying Imperial property. This was unexpected, but not unwelcome as it showed diligence in the Imperial guards which I hadn't expected from soldiers not out in the front lines of the war.

In closing, Castle Dour Dungeons were not quite what I had hoped they would be. I had expected a gold standard of quality and while they do excel in guardsman training, interior design and torture, they fall flat in furnishings of cells and structural integrity, two areas I had expected the very wealthy capital city to excel in.

Final score: Seven Potions of Vigorous Well-Being out of Ten Potions of Vigorous Well-Being

Thank you for reading this review. Next time we examine the opposing side of the civil war and see what Ulfric does with people who feel like being just a bit too kind to the Argonian dock workers.

PS: Don't expect another long gap between reviews. That was a one-off and regular service should resume.

#skyrim #tes v #tes v skyrim #skyrim prison review #inigo #inigo the brave #sofia skyrim #Castle Dour #Castle Dour Dungeon #solitude #Jordan the Reikling #lydia skyrim #cool jail #i'm so back #Collapsable walls #imperial legion #Why can't they make a decent wall?

[where-is-caithe]

-- B A S I C S

name: Eon Shearfang

nicknames: 'Fang (Maverick only), Shearfang (Malice) they have saber teeth I promise :(

birthday: Middle of the year

race: Charr, Ash Legion

gender: ???? Butch. she/they

orientation: Lesbian

profession: Thief to Mesmer pipeline. Commander.

-- P H Y S I C A L A S P E C T S

hair: Purple

eyes: Purple (the same)

skin: black panther fur, with faint black jaguar rosettes. soft and fluffy.

tattoos/scars: space rift scars

-- F A M I L Y

parents: smoke shaman mother, ash legion father. placed in an ash fahrar.

siblings: none.

grandparents: ???

in laws and others: no.

pets: astral raptor.

-- S K I L L S

abilities: mesmer abilities. cannot create clones, but creates stars like knives like a virtuoso. utilizes wells and pulls. black hole well. die. VERY good at invisibility and teleportation. can do portals but kasmeer is better.

hobbies: map making. has a book full of hand-drawn fractal maps with important landmarks. the habit continues when they become the commander and they make maps during downtime.

-- T R A I T S

most positive trait: laughs with you. jokes around and is relatively friendly.

most negative trait: shuts down and ignores you. if anyone theyre close to is in a life-threatening situation they immediately distance from them. definition of being hot with a shit personality. you will regret getting to know them.

-- L I K E S

colors: ~purple~

smells: leather. metal. something otherwordly. burnt ozone.

textures: leather.

drinks: whiskey neat. coffee. dark stout beer.

-- O T H E R D E T A I L S

smokes: often.

drinks: yes.

drugs: not really.

been arrested: yes.

ty to @mystery-salad for tagging me you get the space cat for this one 🥰

tagging my gf @lackluster-plays

#gw2 #guild wars 2 #gw2 charr #eon #WITH! teeth drawn on #they were arrested one time in the citadel bc of a drunken brawl that got violent #they almost killed somebody and got put in jail to cool off #it was some blood legion jackass talking shit about gladia #eon was having none of that and also blind with rage #malice was there to get them out of jail by morning #she was there bc she was told they came out of the mists finally and wanted to hear it from them personally #anyways

[glimblshanks]

Everyone is entitled to their own media interpretations of course, but sometimes I see an analysis post from an Izzy hater and I am truly like "did we even watch the same show?"

#ofmd s2 spoilers #izzy hands #'I'm glad Stede still hates Izzy in season 2!' #girl he literally saved Izzy's life immediately after finding out he had killed the man they are both in love with #Izzy gave Stede a direct opportunity to yell and scream at him while he was in the jail cell #and Stede did not take it #like WHAT are you talking about? #No I don't think Izzy and Stede are 100% cool with each other at this point #but they clearly don't hate each other in the same way they did during s1 either #like can you please stop painting Stede as the One True Victim long enough to actually engage with the text of the show?

[viioledea]

#degenbrecher #arknights #degenbrecher arknights #artists on tumblr #fanart #my art #She's so cool and beautiful and finally free from NPC jail 🥺

[duusu-peacock-kwami]

Do you think I could file for custody of all the human-like Sentis that have been created on the basis of "I made them so I'm technically one of their parents"?

#Gabriel Agreste will be the first to lose “his” son in the custody battles #He's not even Gabriel's son - he had no part in the Adrien-making process #EMILIE made Adrien with my Miraculous so SHE'S the only one with any actual claim to him #And she's dead #🦚 #Same with Felix and his dad #Although his mom is pretty cool so I wouldn't mind filing for joint custody instead of full custody of Felix #Kagami is a little tricky because her mom actually DID make her #But I think I can get custody because her mom willingly helped a domestic terrorist (Hawkmoth) and I'm pretty sure that means jail time #The only problem is actually getting the court to take me seriously #@ladybug @felix - do either of you know any good lawyers? #((OOC: brb gonna go write this crackfic))

[alizera62quartz]

Outfit Memes- H,7 FunDay Jail

Outfit Meme outfits are from: alizera62quartz

#alizera62 #my artwork #yandere #fanart #fusion #sdj #sdj jack #sdj jill #funday jail #sunnydayjack #sunny day jack #memes #art memes #outfit meme #cool outfits #dress up #somethings wrong with sunny day jack #stars #sunny day jack fanart

[dutchess-of-fear]

So I finally watched The Batman (2022) and watch I took from it this movie......

I want to either live with Bruce Wayne in this home or kick him out and officially own this home cause my god😫😫😫 I love it so much.

But also I really fucking love the movie with how batman is like in the movie and the riddler it so was soo good😄😄 but I still can’t get over this interior of his home! So fuckig gothic I love it🖤🖤🖤

#like its not a joke #i want to have my house to look like this #bruce wayne should be in jail for having this #like i cant #gothic interior #the batman #but i absolutely love this movie #the riddler was so cool! #and the batman was more goth than emo #batman #dc universe