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dzpenumbra · 11 months

Text

6/20/23

I'm starting this super late - 4:17 AM. Today was a massive shift from the norm. I woke up a bit late and started with a yoga routine that kicked my ass... so I didn't work out and decided to go with that change of pace and have a day that took a very different pace than normal.

I decided to sorta just take care of my home today. I made a physical list (just like the old days) in my notebook of things I need to do around the house, and just started taking care of that. I put art projects and whatnot aside and just took the day off. First day in a long time that I didn't actually work on a specific project.

I cleaned up my windowsills and reorganized the table that my orchid lives on. I moved my incense burner over... then remembered how horribly cheap it is and how poorly balanced it is. So, I used incense sticks and mod podge to make a wooden foot for it, and glued it to the bottom. It's much better now. I rearranged the moss and gravel terracotta dish I have a little bit, I had some extra soil left over from when I tried and failed to get a flowering tree cutting to root. So I put that soil in the pot and reclaimed the gravel from that, so I actually have a handful or two of gravel to work with for a potential Zen Garden piece.

I took three large yogurt containers and poked some holes in them, filled them with my remaining on-hand potting soil and planted the beans I got a few weeks back. I only had enough soil to do two of the containers, so the other one will have to wait. I had extra lids that fit really well too, so they should work really well as incubators as well. So, that's cool!

I also did laundry, including a hoodie from ages ago that hadn't been washed in years. So... all-in-all, I got a bunch of shit done today. All home stuff, which is nice.

The coup-de-grace of it all? I put in the Lowe's order. A terracotta saucer, a ceramic saucer, potting soil, a bag of sand and a length of PVC tubing that hopefully fits the mini pump I have (from my cat's old porcelain fountain that she didn't like). This should set the stage for a few test run projects.

I did some shopping online for trays and whatnot. God damn, everything is expensive nowadays, isn't it? -_- Like... I was hard-pressed to find a wooden tray of any kind that was under $20, plus shipping. What would be the slick fuckin move here would be... going to Goodwill. I bet Goodwill has a shit-ton of stuff that I could use, and cheap too. The catch? I have to fucking reserve and rent the shared car to do that trip. So, I have to plan a day that I'm going to be awake when Goodwill is open... have the car reserved... then pay for a trip specifically there. If I'm going to do that, I really want to go to the occult shop the next town over, too. I really want it to be like... a "day out on the town". And really... I could do that any day, right? BUT... my sleep is so fucked right now. I haven't been getting to sleep until like 7 or 8. It's never gotten this far before. So... do the math on that. 8am bedtime... 4 hours of sleep gets you to noon... 8 hours of sleep gets you to 4pm...

I don't even know how it gets to 8am, honestly. It's frustrating.

So yeah, again... insomnia and nocturnal tendencies turn really fucking simple things like "what day am I going to go out and go on a fun shopping trip" into "how can I reset my sleep schedule without being utterly sleep deprived the day-of... because I don't feel safe driving tired." The obvious answer to solve all of this? Get someone to drive me. I swear to god, one friend in my life would completely change my life. Because I would fucking love to go for a hike in actual nature, too. It's been so long.

So yeah, today was mostly just wandering around my apartment assessing what needs to be done and fixing up a few things, listening to Wagner's Tristan und Isolde and whatever YouTube Music brought me to after that... I cooked dinner at 2 AM. It was just a relaxed, no pressure, do whatever feels right, take care of the home day. And it was nice.

I rounded out the night by watching NKAVids' newest video on a freestyle skateboarding competition in Vancouver. It was... profound. Here, check it out if it seems appealing.

youtube

There were like 40 people there, tops. And it was like... the world's best freestyle skaters. And it was at a fucking State Fair and Rodeo. And he interviewed absolute legends of skating. The first pro skateboarder ever was there. The guys who like... created the sport. And hearing them talk was just like... so goddamn refreshing. So inspiring. I really felt like I was hearing my people speak.

But it also made my heart sink, and made me tear up at parts. There was a guy who was being interviewed, he was a mentor of Andy Anderson's, and he was talking about how like... the way people are being taught to skate is really fucking them up, and we really need to reassess the way we're teaching kids and introducing them to the sport. He was saying you really really need to teach kids to ride and manual and tic-tac way before ollie and kickflip and all that. And freestyle is all about that. He was going off about how every kid nowadays just wants to learn how to kickflip, like it's a right of passage. And honestly, you can blame --- okay, I'm not going to out specifically The Berrics here... XD --- you can blame Pop Culture for that. But I mean... come on... The Berrics literally has a series where they get pro skaters to yell out of a car "Do a Kickflip" and if the person can, they give them free shit. ... ... So... I mean... I'm just sayin... But it's more than just them, okay? It's a cultural thing. And the ollie is just as much to blame.

And what really hit me in the feels and the... well... the ever present shame... was when he was talking about how much pressure... how much peer pressure there is in the park. How you will get the shit teased out of you and pressured and pushed not just if you wear pads and a helmet... but if you don't know how to ollie or kickflip. I have been skating off and on since I was 13. I can't kickflip. I can kickflip inconsistently on a snowskate, but I have only kickflipped on a skateboard... maybe once or twice moving. But I did do a manual sidewalk snakerun at my old college that was... probably 150 feet long? And that fucker had big cracks in it, so I had to learn how to manual-ollie-manual over the cracks mid-way through the run.

His talk hit me hard because... I backed off of a lot of my skating because of shame and peer pressure. I am still hesitant to go skating at the local park because of peer pressure. The pressure to be as good as people might expect me to be. The pressure to be better than I am. The pressure to be able to consistently ollie onto a low box. I don't know. I developed a very unique style of skating because I never really gave a shit about what people thought and I just did what was fun... I also didn't learn a lot of tricks because of that, no one really offered to teach me... and I really lacked the social skills and confidence to just approach strangers and ask them to teach me... I was kinda just doing my own thing. But after taking a few years off and trying to come back? It was the judgement that freaked me out. Now I'm the older guy, so there's this expectation that I'm going to be good. And I'm not that good. And I feel compelled to like fucking... apologize for that. When I don't need to. And never should.

I saw representatives of a culture that is all about skating being a personal journey, and encouraging all people to find what they love on the board. And it warmed my heart so much. The first pro skater said skateboarding isn't a hobby or a sport, it's like a friend. It's a friend you reconnect with every time you go skate. And you should approach it the way you approach spending time with a friend. Go have fun, seek happiness. And that just really warmed my heart.

And I felt really sad that I've let the imaginary superficial judgments of others (which are all hypothetical in my head and never actually existed) prevent me from doing what I love. I feel bad that I've let that happen with so much of my life. And that is caving to peer pressure. Letting a parent talk you out of a career that you love because they "don't approve" or whatever. Letting a "friend" bully you out of learning a trick you think is cool. Going with what the crowd, or just with the people nearby, think is "cool"... so that you can appear "cool"... and they'll accept you and like you. I am really sad that I actually caved and did so much of that in my life.

It's weird, because a lot of my life... I have lived in quiet defiance of the protests of peer pressure. But I have ironically still conformed to other peer pressures at the same time, just from other cultures. And I'm still doing it, to some degrees. But I'm just gonna say this, and hopefully remember and live by it. Fuck what other people think. Fuck em. Haters are gonna hate. And hating seems super goddamn popular nowadays. Nothing more popular than correcting others, telling them how the majority is doing things, conforming and deliberately excluding those who don't fit your ideals.

The people who support you for who you are? They won't correct or pressure or unfairly judge you. And I hope to find them soon. I'm not sure I've ever had them around before.

Here, I'll use an example that's been rattling around my brain since last stream. When I last last streamed, a few months ago... that high school kid came in and was there for the stream. And I mentioned that one of the pieces I had on the docket was carving (at the time that was the plan) the goat skull, and making a quartz knife from scratch in order to do that. I was so stoked on this idea, I though it was really cool. And this kid, who specifically sought out my stream, has been watching for years, joined my Discord, has been in my chatroom for cumulatively probably over 100 hours now... he was weirded out by the skull as a project. ... And didn't seem interested in it at all. ... Does that mean I should abandon that project? XD I actually thought that for a while, it deflated my confidence and excitement, I actually bought that bullshit. Let me tell you what it actually means. This kid still, after all this time, doesn't know who the fuck I am. And probably doesn't really fully like the kind of content I produce. And probably just hangs out in my chat because it's a place he can go and talk about his Minecraft and Roblox shit who will actually listen to him. Because he has no friends. And, though he may not realize this, and may never realize it... that's very parasitic. And if he keeps doing it, regardless of how long he's been around, I'm going to have to boot him. Because he's there for the wrong reasons, and it sets a really bad example for others in chat.

So yeah, it's a shame that being a professional creative in our culture is entirely dependent on social acceptance... rather than... just being fucking creative. It completely derails creativity. "How to be creative - do what your fans want." Are your fans creative? If so, why the fuck are they consuming and not creating? If not, why the fuck am I listening to them?! It makes no goddamn sense. So yeah, I really want to remember this - when I run a project idea past a friend, it's not for approval... it's to get a gauge whether they support me as a creator or not. It's to see where they stand, and how they will be supporting me with that project. And I strongly suggest any true creative try to stick to that creed. Only you know what inspires you, what your vision is.

Don't let someone else snuff out your creative spark simply because of their own ego, or their lack of investment in or attention to your life. Whether it be art, or music, or skating, whatever. Be you, and seek those that love and support you for being you. And fuck the haters.

Tarot time! (Because I have the delivery coming tomorrow and it's already past 5)

Past - Nine of Wands, inverted (The Wounded Warrior. Defense, guarding yourself. Suspicion, self-protection. Need rest and recovery.) Present - Eight of Cups (Had enough, moving on. No sadness, determination, courage, freedom. New journey, closing of an old cycle and the start of a new one. Inevitable change.) Future - Three of Pentacles (Teamwork, accomplishing more together.)

I shit you not, the Nine of Wands showed itself to me three separate times as I was shuffling. It was comical.

Again, I've gotten all these cards before... some I'm more familiar with, some I'm not... so I quickly copy-pasted the definitions and I'm going to try to read it from memory, just using the card imagery.

The thread starts with inverted Nine of Wands. Nine of Wands is the Wounded Soldier; tired, worn out, needing rest, needing to heal. Inversion on this I tend to read as being stuck in the wounded phase... or possibly not taking R+R time and trying to push through shit.

This is connected to Eight of Cups... this one I think I've only gotten once before and I'm not very familiar. It's a woman pouring out a cup, casting it aside. She looks like a mystic. There are seven more cups upright sitting outside of what looks like an abandoned house in the back. A quick glance at the summary I posted confirms my suspicions that this is basically... moving on. Casting the past aside and striding forward.

This is connected to Three of Pentacles... the helping hands. It's a rope being grasped by three hands. It symbolizes people coming together, teamwork.

So... because I've been stubbornly pushing forward and working myself to the bone. All day, every day... Either on projects, or on writing this, or on therapy, or on dream journaling, or working out... always working... Because I haven't really let my spirit heal... I've been struggling to move forward. To evolve. To get to the next step, of moving forward into a new chapter of life, with confidence; with excitement, even. And with that step forward... comes the helping hands I needed all along.

I'll be honest. I'm anxious of it. It's been so long since I've had friends... that... okay, it's more than just inexperience, it's experience with people who just gaslit the fuck out of me and blamed me for literally everything... and part of me believes it. I'm afraid that I'm gonna fuck it up. That I'm going to piss people off.

I hate that thought. I hate that it still sounds... like it makes sense. I look at a card just... illustrating the idea of teamwork, of people working together... and it makes me anxious. Anxious that it will happen, that I will make friends... and then I'm going to fuck it up. Oh... Oh... I'm starting to get it. Oh man, the brain is fucking weird how sneaky it can be. The "me fucking it up" part... that's a coverup. That's a deflection. It's a veneer, a façade so I don't see what's just past that. Because... when I "fuck up"... what happens? People get mad. People get angry. And they hurt me. They take things away from me. Opportunity. Social connections. Potential resources. And they say cruel things. And they leave. So... blaming myself... it gives me the illusion of control. Like... "if I can just be a perfect person, they'll never have a reason to hurt me or leave me."

Oh man. Yeah, it's easy to get trapped in that.

But it's all an illusion. Coming full-circle on the post, all that is necessary of a creative person is to be themselves. All I need to do is be me. And I'm getting so much better at comfortably being me. I shamelessly did laundry at 2AM on a Monday. And anyone comes along who doesn't support me being me, and tries to leverage... if I "change" me a little bit... then they'll support me... I need to step away from that. Knowing that there is something that I can do... not altering my behaviors, because that's something I need to do for myself, not others... but walking away when I see people trying to peer pressure, or alter, or change me or my creative expression... The agency I need lives in that, that simple gesture of... just walk away. And I feel like within the empowerment that the ever-present option of walking away gives me... lies the courage I need to put all this hiding and avoiding behind me. And finally get the community help I deserve. And maybe even reach my full potential, from which we all will benefit.

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of thoughts #stream of consciousness #Youtube

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suspiciouslybluemilktea · 3 years

Text

Chapters 3-5 of The Passed Out Princess

Pairing: My CMC (Uyu, Dan Byeol) x Suit Saeran See all chapters

Description: On days 7-9 of Ray’s route, the player is denied food as “Saeran” makes his presence first known. But, what if MC fell very ill under this method of torture due to a medical condition? Sadly, my custom MC, Uyu (full name Dan Byeol), would deal with exactly this dilemma.

Warnings and notes found in chapter 1-2

Without taking a second to assess the situation, he began his tantrum, entering the room without even a knock out of courtesy.

“Finally getting what you wanted and you’re laying down on the bed as if nothing matters! You should be grateful I even thought to check up on you!”

The door shut behind him with a slam.

“Well then? Up. Get up, toy. I didn’t come all the way out here to watch you sleep!”

Saeran made his way over to the bed, almost in a stomping manner.

Uyu let out a small groan, attempting to pick herself up to look him in the eyes, disobeying one of his direct orders on purpose even now. With some shifts, she made her way to sitting up at the edge of the bed close to him with a slouch in her posture. Moving about to face him signaled her forehead to throb again, causing her to instinctively lift her hand to touch it beneath her bangs, a wince escaping her mouth.

“Is that all you’ve got to show me how much I’m making you suffer? Tch. Pathetic! You suck. Take more lessons from Zen while you’re chatting with him so damn much. Maybe he can at least teach you to cry on command for me. Didn’t you take theater classes before or something?”

The tall man in black towered over her as he spoke, icy eyes glaring at her through marshmallow colored fringe which fell over them in his lean forward. His lips curled into a wicked grin before he broke the awkward silence again.

“Well then...what would you like to refer to this issue as? Tell me. You must have weaved quite the story in preparation for my arrival. Out with it!”

Uyu mustered up some strength to mutter out a little of what he needed to know, embarrassed having to explain herself and call for his help when he appeared to be nothing but cruel to her.

He had shouted at her. He had shoved her a little. He had pinned her against a wall and trapped her like a wolf hunting a small, doe eyed rabbit.

And now, here she was teaching him about one of her medical conditions. Needless to say, she wished it possible to pretend it all wasn’t happening.

“..I have chronic low blood sugar. If...my hunger goes unchecked…..it just drops...my blood sugar I mean... and I get sick….it’s undocumented as there’s not much else doctors can do other than tell me to eat..”

Oh the shame.

“Pfft-”

Saeran cackled, loudly, higher in pitch, his voice reaching a part of his lungs that made it almost wheezy.

“Seriously? I hate how your list of problems is so long a fool might have believed you. You’re so damn weak. Say... I wonder...should today’s playtime be me dangling food in front of your face, then? Come on. Let’s get you to stand first, hmm? Then I’ll fetch you something sucky...like raw carrots...and you’ll hop for me like a pet bunny in desperation. I’ll even be so kind as to help you to your feet. What do you say, princess? Would you like that? A gentlemanly hand extended to you from your master?”

He reached down, pulling her hand away from her forehead and clasping it in his right, intertwining her small fingers with his long and slender ones. She shivered at his touch, him being so much colder than she was, as if his hand had been resting in a freezer while apart from her.

“...No...Saeran I might throw up again-”

“Sure you will~”, he cooed, bringing his face to hers.

“Where is that vomit, by the way? Did you oh so conveniently make it to the toilet so it’s all flushed away and gone? Haha...it’s hard to play with a toy who won’t even stand…so up! I’ll help you now, giving you that sweetness you oh so crave. On the count of three! One...two…”

Uyu shook her head as she attempted to pull back away from him, but her hand was still trapped in his firm grip, growing stronger as she attempted to resist.

“Three!”

Saeran gave her a jerk forward, the pull almost sending her to hit the ground before she caught herself on his arm.

“Wow! She did it! She stands! See that wasn’t so har-”

Dan felt the blood seem to rush out of her brain and downwards in a waterfall motion as that hot and cold chill returned. Her legs teetered as she lost balance, falling before grasping at him, ending up in his arms entirely, Saeran trying to avoid being knocked over himself. She let out a “brrr” noise as she shuttered, so dizzy the room felt as if it were doing somersaults and tumbles as it tossed her limp body around.

“Toy? Toy! What the hell kind of a stunt...”

Saeran pulled her away from him to get a better look at her as her head rolled to the side feebly. He held the woman out by her shoulders in front of him as if she were a little rag doll he wanted to shake back and forth to somehow bring life back into her.

“Start speaking to me! It’s not funny! You can quit the act now…stop doing that…”

His tone grew softer as the sound of a stiffness in the back of his throat made itself known, gulping as if swallowing a ball. He spoke again through gritted teeth.

“Not funny….I’m getting angrier….pull yourself together, toy…”

And with a little jostle from him, her guts felt a sudden whirl before a solid drop as did her head, the color black with spirals seizing her sight as she could no longer sort of keep herself upright. Saeran let go of her shoulders, feeling her whole weight lean in on him, catching her before she could fall.

Dan had finally blacked out cold exactly at noon, leaving Saeran alone, drowning in a sea of his own panic.

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Saeran held her close to him for a minute out of shock, his captivating eyes wide, stunned and not wanting to witness what he was responsible for. With Uyu completely slumped into him, he maneuvered his arms around her to allow her frail unconscious body to lean backwards. He didn’t want to believe he caused her to actually pass out, supporting her with his left arm and gently caressing her soft cheek with the back of his right hand.

A part of him feared he had caused the unthinkable.

He spoke in a strained whisper.

“Princess…?”

Not to his surprise, he received no reply, not even the slightest sign that she was faking. He huffed gently as his bottom lip began to quiver...his underlying worry that she wasn’t indeed fooling him appeared now true. He pulled her close to his chest again, his heart hammering against her as he cursed under his breath, thoughts racing so fast he felt a headache of his own coming on.

“Shit….”

Saeran went down onto his knees, still cradling her as her head rested in the crook of his neck, scooching her so she was sitting on his lap. His heart hurt...it physically hurt...a crushing squeezing pain that made him want to rip it from his chest entirely. It felt as if a rose bush had wrapped its way around it, winding an elaborate cage of thorns which pierced through like a million needles; the prettiest rose wilted in his hands because he couldn’t give it basic sunlight and water. The rose which bloomed within Ray’s heart...unlike Ray, Saeran wasn’t a nurturing gardener. Screaming at a flower for not growing into what you wished it to become will do nothing. Or...was it that the flower had already blossomed as he tried to force it closed, back into becoming a bud? Either way, he could now feel the dryness of its shriveled petals as his first tear spilled down his hot cheek.

“You don’t seem so tough now…..aren’t you supposed to be able to handle what I throw at you?”

He pressed his face into her hair, the smell of her floral conditioner he once insulted overwhelming his senses.

With heavy shame and panic, the built up water in his tear ducts came trickling down in little glistening, frequent streams upon his pale face. He shook like a leaf in the wind.

“...I did it. I defeated you. Damn you. This was supposed to be better….feel better. I was promised this was what I wanted...but you made it too easy. I hate a lack of challenge...”

He lifted his head before scooping her up bridal style, carrying her to the princess bed to lay her down somewhere comfortable. Upon her back with her hair partially sprawled out behind her, her position resembled that of sleeping beauty, the one who cursed her to sleep as well as the one who could save her life sharing the same body. Saeran’s kiss could not wake her as the one who made her prick her finger on that spinning wheel, and her prince charming was gone, banished away as he could not stand the cruelties of the dark castle’s dungeons. Or at least, that’s how he felt; that he was acting as the Maleficent of this long tale.

He stared at her for a while, breathing rapidly as his chest puffed up and down, bewildered, seething and puzzled as to why this all hurt him so. His savior promised knocking Dan down was the way to go...after all, she corrupted Ray, disobeyed the savior and caused Ray to do the same, made Ray have to be cleansed...she was no good for him; a liar and a manipulator. That’s what his savior told him, and she was never wrong, was she?

He tried to take her state in again as he watched her, drinking up her lifelessness, pushing himself to feel positive about it. It was a good thing. This was a good thing. The savior might even congratulate him for this. He might even receive praise for doing the opposite as Ray had done, feeding her well put together meals despite not even having the time to sleep. Or, would the savior scold him for besting her too early? After all, she was still essential to bringing down the RFA, as useless as he made her seem to be.

“Yes, that’s it,” he thought. He HAS to make sure she’s ok so she can carry out her job. But why did it seem like so much more than that as he felt a soreness seeing her hurt? He put his hands in his hair, tugging at the white messy tufts by the roots as he audibly panted, feeling himself being sent into a frenzy of angry and confused alarm. He gasped and shook as his eyes glazed over and color drained from his complexion, internally feeling a tug a war between his yearnings and what he had been told. A few broken “ahs” and whimpers left his open mouth as Saeran stumbled backwards, bumping his heel on the bedside table with a thunk. His tears would not cease.

It felt as if no matter how he rationalized what had just happened, matching it to his savior’s wishes and words she whispered into his ears, he couldn’t find it within himself to feel successful or triumphant in any manner. He whipped himself around to avoid looking at the passed out princess, his gaze meeting a vase with fresh flowers left by Ray which she slept beside every night. This room was so full of her...so full of him...so full of them and their time spent together. With a loud crash, he knocked it over, the smashed bits aligning the floor as the water lay in a puddle, the flowers undamaged, surrounded by the mess.

He chewed skin off his lip, leaving it pinker and salty in taste. To avoid his savior’s disapproval, for acting so weak and for making Dan so ill, Saeran decided it was best to handle the entirety of the situation on his own. He licked away the bead of red hot blood, brimming from where he bit off skin before collecting himself to a degree to clean up what he had done.

He stared at himself in the bathroom mirror for a while, analyzing his features and making certain his emotions were concealed. He needed to hide his trembles and sobs if he were to re-enter the halls, wearing the iron mask of the strongest believer.

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Locking the door to keep Dan alone and safe, Saeran made his way around until he reached the place’s kitchen, keeping his head low to avoid the need to strike conversations or bark orders. The believers knew by now that his brisk walking and low hanging head meant no one was to disturb him, as he was probably doing something of importance for the savior. Same went for Ray, even. This made his trip rather quick and easy, even with the glances and stares he received in the halls. He paid no attention to the whispers which followed them.

“I’m hungry. Whip up something and make it fast. Doesn’t matter what as long as it’s got all the food groups and doesn’t taste like utter garbage.”

After Saeran commanded the Mint Eye chefs to get to work on a dish specially “for himself”, he pulled out his android phone to do a quick Google search on what might help with Uyu’s condition. From that he was able to piece together that candy and sugar can help provide immediate relief, for just a moment, as it would spike her blood sugars.

“Do we still have any candies around here? I want a few of those.”

“Yes Mr. Saeran sir...there are some mint candies and chocolates in the cabinet by your head…to the right. We got them recent-”

“No need to point it out and ramble. I know my way around the kitchen. Next time, just a simple yes unless I ask you to say more.”

“Yes, sir.”

Mint Eye was rather used to not seeing Saeran or Ray at meal times unless the savior requested him to attend and sit by her side, so to them, him taking his dinner to go was more normal.

He opened the white cupboard door, seeing numerous clear jars they’d set out on display during meal times. He shoved his hand into the chocolates first, taking it out empty then deciding to go for the mints, remembering “the little thing can’t have dairy.” Grabbing a solid handful of the sweet safe for her to eat, he shoved it all into the pockets of his dark suit, then leaning against the wall, eyeing the chefs at work.

As Saeran himself requested a meal, it was going to be elaborate and made by a whole team in an effort to please him, worry that a mistake could send them to be cleansed acting as a great motivator. Two people off to the right made small garlic potatoes while another two prepared a red wine sauce, to go with the steak a different believer was making. This did not include the last pair, which made stir fried vegetables, one cooking and one cutting.

The kitchen was quiet apart from the sounds of the sizzling, chopping, and stirring; Saeran swallowing saliva as his adam’s apple rolled up and then down, feeling the weight of the fear the room felt towards him. Many times, he saw that kitchens were depicted as being so loud and fun, full of life and chatter unlike this one. Saeran commanded authority and respect, yes, but none of these people would even dare say more than a yes sir no sir to him, let alone smile and act friendly. Would they even smile and talk if he wasn’t there? Or, was joy something this place had always lacked, him just now noticing because of the horribly confusing pit in his stomach at the moment? For the most part, he was on his own, the kindness he received from the savior being all he had to look forward to. And it was always enough for him, as the anxiety he provoked just being in the same room as the believers usually filled him with glee. But then...Ray found someone else who’d show him sweetness. A different kind of sweetness. One that would make his face hot to the touch and heart glow, as if he were under the bright blue sky getting a sunburn, sugary treats melting and dancing on his tongue with new flavors he just wasn’t used to. It was nerve racking and yet so energizing at the same time, something to look forward to as he snuck around to see Dan for so long. Saeran at least could say he found her words to be rather interesting, keeping him on his toes the brief time that they properly spoke together. And by brief...he meant three times. That dork passed out after they had only talked to each other three times.

He was used to the feeling of people trying to tear up his body and soul with their nails from the inside out...but not in the way she did. She at least spoke such honeyed words and phrases, sugar coated in such an unlike recipe as did the glaze which covered his savior’s. Even when telling him something harsh, Dan clarified that his best interest was always in her mind. Ray wished for more of this as he asked her to wreck his head outright. A foolish thing really. Or so Saeran was told.

“Umm...Mr. Saeran...your dish is ready.”

He picked up his stare from the floor to the believer now speaking to him as his train of thoughts were broken off. No matter how much of a display he tried to put on, his mind was somewhere else, somewhere it shouldn’t be. Thinking about someone it shouldn’t be.

“Yes, good. I’ll take the plate to my room as I’m very busy with my important work. Bring me some silverware and a napkin. And a water bottle. And cover the food so it stays warm.”

“Yes sir. For eternal paradise.”

“For eternal paradise..”

The kitchen staff said nothing to his face about the redness which surrounded his mint eyes and the tip of his nose, but behind his back was a different story.

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#ray mystic messenger #suit saeran #saeran x mc #saeran choi #Uyu #Dan Byeol #mystic messenger cmc

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aurora-nerin · 4 years

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There is no way that no one noticed Connor pulling a gun on Markus during his speech. So how would Jericrew and Markus react when Connor tries to explain himself. This would probably be a pre relationship RK1000.

The moment his hand touched the glowing blue light on the pedestal in Zen Garden, Connor’s world came back into focus. Sounds started to filter in slowly: Markus was making one of those grand speeches about freedom, equality and working with humans. North, Josh and Simon were by his side. Connor himself was a bit in the back, still on the podium (he was not sure why they wanted him here after all) and he had a gun in his hand, pointed at Markus’ back, safety off, ready to fire.

Connor’s entire body froze in horror: Was THIS what Amanda was trying to do? Was this how close he came to actually ruining everything? He could not believe it. He felt a sense of dread and panic swallow him whole: He could not breathe. Could not move. Could not even put the damn gun away. It was like he was not in control of his body anymore. But that could not be! He knew he’d broken through. Amanda was gone. But after all the things she made him do, was it ever truly over?

He did not register someone running into him and tackling him to the ground at first. The pain of fists coming down on his face was dulled, like it was happening to someone else.

‘‘North!’‘ He heard Markus shout from somewhere far away. ‘‘Stop! Stop it!’‘

Then his own gun was pressed against his forehead. Connor would have laughed if he could: there was a sense of poetic justice in all of this.

Then his world went dark.

---

‘‘He wanted to shoot you! I knew we could not trust him! I knew it! I told you not to!’‘

Markus held up a hand. ‘’North, please. He did not shoot. Nothing happened. We can deal with this without bloodshed.’’

‘‘We can’t just execute him without hearing him out first.’‘ Simon agreed.

Josh looked sick at the idea of executing one of their own.

Connor looked around: He had no idea where he was, but his hands were bound to a maintenance rig (good!). The four leaders of Revolution were deciding his fate.

‘’He’s awake.’’ Josh noted.

Markus turned to him. Connor could not look at him and see the disappointment and heartbreak on his face.

‘’Why?’’ He asked softly.

Connor said nothing: he was not going to defend himself. He would not try to talk his way out of this. He did not deserve it: he was a danger to them.

Markus took a step towards him. Connor tried to shrink away, but of course he could not: he was incapacitated.

‘’Answer him traitor!’’ North spat.

Connor was silent. Markus did not like that: he expected the Deviant Hunter to gloat that he managed to gain their trust, how his death would change nothing and Cyberlife would still win. But there was nothing. Not a word.

‘’Connor,’’ He said, voice wavering a little. ‘’You know what will happen if you don’t cooperate. Please, don’t make me do it.’’

Connor looked up and smiled a little: yes, he knew. They would kill him. It would be over. There was no other Connor waiting to take his place: he’d murdered the last of them at Cyberlife Tower. He would truly be gone. ‘’What will happen, if I pull this trigger?’’ Hank’s words came back to him. ‘’Nothing? Oblivion? Android heaven?’’

Maybe there was a heaven for Androids. For deviants. But did he deserve to be let in there? No. Definitely not.

Markus was looking at him strangely. He’d had said something and Connor was too lost in his own thought to hear, he realized.

‘‘Go on then,’‘ He said, defiant. He had to play his cards correctly. He could not have them feel pity of kinship. He was a danger and he had to be eliminated. It was simple as that. ‘‘Shoot me.’‘

‘‘I would like to hear your reasoning first.’‘ Markus replied.

‘‘You know my reasoning Markus. You know what I am.’‘

‘‘I know what you were. You are that no longer. I don’t believe you would betray us.’‘

‘‘This is getting us nowhere, Markus.’‘ North said impatiently.

Josh approached him, pulling some plugs on the rig and firing it up.

‘‘W-what are you doing?’‘ Connor stuttered.

‘‘We’ll have to probe your memories. You’re giving us no choice, Connor.’‘

Connor froze. No! No, no no! Please, anything but that! He’d had enough of others being in his head.

‘‘Markus, his stress levels just spiked to 80 %.’‘ Simon said, worried.

Markus frowned: Connor was such a mystery: He was not afraid to die, or get tortured but the thought of someone going inside his mind terrified him this much. He was definitely hiding something. Were there Cyberlife secrets he was afraid to give away?

‘‘No... ‘‘ Connor whispered, a single tear dropping down to his cheek. ‘‘Please, don’t...’‘

Markus put a hand on his shoulder in a soothing gesture, but it only made things worse: Connor’s stress levels were hovering around 90 %. Was it not enough to just end him? Did they have to violate him in this way too?

‘‘Ready when you are, Markus.’‘ Josh said from somewhere behind him.

‘‘No!’‘ Connor screamed, trashing. ‘‘Markus, please!’‘

Stress Levels: 95 %

Markus looked torn.

‘‘Please, I know I betrayed you, I’m sorry. I know deserve to die. Just kill me, please, I’m ready. Don’t do that, anything but that!’‘

‘’Markus, he will self-destruct if we do this.’‘ Simon said. ‘‘Please, reconsider!’‘

‘‘He’s just manipulating us.’‘ North scoffed, but she did not look so sure either.

Markus took a step closer and held out his hand, skin retreating.

‘‘I won’t have to force you, if you talk. Or show me.’‘

Connor considered. If he had to choose, letting someone in voluntarily was better than the connection being forced, but only by a small margin. Damn them! Why could they not just kill him!

The scanned the four of them and suddenly, saw a way out...

‘‘Okay,’‘ He nodded. ‘‘I’ll show you.’‘

Markus seemed so relieved, Connor felt a sense of guilt crush him. He did not deserve another betrayal. But what choice did Connor have?

‘‘Free his hands, Josh,’‘ Markus said.

The second Josh released his arms, Connor lunged forward, preconstruction already complete, snatching up the gun Markus had in tucked in his waistband. He heard North and Simon scream for Markus and smiled; of course they thought that was his intention.

His last thought before putting the barrel under his chin was of Hank: how he would wait for the Android in front of Chicken Feed and how disappointed he would be when he found out...

#you send me asks like this #this is what you gonna get #hope youre sorry #look what you made me do #Connor #Markus #Post pacifist good ending #Aurora's writing #this is so long i shud probably just put it on ao3 #am i sorry?#idk probably #pre-relationship lmao?#no honey #Connor is too dumb for that

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dxppercxdxver · 4 years

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A Note on the Use of Distance, Or: The Evolution of Nines's and Gavin's Relationship as Seen Through Body Language and Physical Proximity, Or: Sparrow Writes 6k About DE That Is Literally Just a Narrative Analysis

Apologies in advance, this is gonna be a long one. If you stick to it and read the whole thing, I will love you forever. (Also, @domlerrys, I’m tagging you because we talk about meta a lot and I think you’ll like this.)

And Michelle, I’m sorry for the length, but there’s just so much to talk about, I had to. Also, “brevity” is not in my vocabulary. Oops. (I’m also sure you know most of this already, but I had a blast analyzing this.)

So, it’s been about a month, and I think it’s about time I typed up some of my thoughts about the use of distance in Detroit Evolution. (For those of you who haven’t seen it yet, 1) What are you doing? 2) Go check it out, it’s a beautiful feature fan film made by the lovely people at @octopunkmedia, and if you like good ace representation, I think you’ll like it.)

To give us the proper background, let’s establish our characters’ relationships with touch. (For those of you who’ve seen the movie, you know this. This is just for our friends who are unaware.)

RK900, or Nines, is very asexual. Not necessarily touch-repulsed, but touch-uninterested, unless it’ll make somebody else happy (namely, Gavin).

Gavin Reed is allosexual, but has a long, complicated history of abuse and psychological manipulation, most of it revolving around intimacy, and, as such, is extremely touch-repulsed. He does not allow people to get close to him.

Throughout the film, they’re very careful to keep physical distance between them, and if they’re forced to be close together, their body language is usually very closed off. Which lends this sense of relief to a pivotal moment in the film later. The very important exceptions are the moments in the Zen Garden, and moments of extreme duress.

Let’s break it down scene by scene.

We open on the Zen Garden. In this mindscape, we know Nines and Gavin behave as though they’re been married for several years. Their interactions are comfortable and familiar, though entirely imaginary, and this is where the use of touch and distance starts to show. Even though this Gavin does not have any of the same touch aversions as the real world Gavin, he keeps his distance from Nines, and Nines, in turn, does the same. When Gavin greets him, he’s standing ten or so feet away; when they walk together, Nines hangs back, and the both of them keep their hands in their pockets, avoiding direct eye contact. Obviously, any more romantic gestures are kept offscreen for audience suspense, but still, what’s shown is equally important. The two main exceptions to this rule are when Gavin reaches out to adjust Nines’s collar and when Nines reaches out to touch Gavin’s face. However, even when Gavin is unbuttoning Nines’s shirt, his arms are perfectly straight, leaving about two feet of space between them, and when Nines cups Gavin’s cheek, it’s not really a romantic gesture. It’s almost a reverential one, and he still leaves about a foot between them. This may not seem like a lot, but considering that this is Nines’s ideal world and even his deepest desires leave that space between them, it reveals how much relative distance matters with these two.

Onto the next scene. Protest. We start in the car, with Nines staring straight ahead, avoiding Gavin’s gaze. Gavin only touches Nines to shock him out of his trance with a gentle slap, then turns his body forward, effectively closing himself off. He maintains this distance, even straying almost twenty feet in front of Nines on their walk up. Here’s another major exception, a moment of extreme duress: Gavin takes Nines’s hand and guides him through the crowd, despite the fact that Nines could easily surpass any one of the protestors in a fight. Even here, however, Gavin keeps his back turned and does not make eye contact. For all he physically reaches out, emotionally, he’s incredibly closed off. Same deal inside Jericho; table between them, avoiding eye contact, careful distance. And even in a more lighthearted moment of banter (Nines mimicking Gavin’s delivery), Chris is standing between them as a physical mediator, and he remains between them the whole scene.

Onto the D.P.D. and the famous first instance of “I hate you.” “You love me.”!

When Nines brings Gavin his coffee, his body language is very open: arms spread, standing over Gavin. However, Nines is also intensely aware of his partner’s issues regarding physical proximity, and quickly draws away, clasping his hands behind his back and retreating ever so slightly to give Gavin his space. Once Nines has spun Gavin’s feet out of the way, they are closer, yes, but Gavin’s back is turned and Nines is careful not to lean in too close over his shoulder. They’re very closed off, and remain this way for much of the scene, never directly facing one another. Gavin stands up, spins counterclockwise to keep his back to Nines until he’s behind Nines, at which point he’s in control of the situation and flips Nines off. When they speak face to face, Gavin’s legs are kicked up on the table or he’s using the coffee mug as a sort of psychological shield. Nothing direct, nothing open.

STAKEOUT! This is a really good example of something Michelle does—that isn’t like other romance movies —that I really love. A common thing in a lot of romance movies is that “almost kiss,” but in a movie like this, where the main romance emphasizes a mental connection over a physical one, that sort of play would feel cheap and out of place. Which is why I love the stakeout scene so damn much. The stakeout is the perfect time for an “almost kiss” moment, BUT! What we get instead is so much better, with two people desperate to let their feelings out but too scared to fully voice them. So you get this awkward dance of them abstracting the concept and refusing to look at one another, deliberately avoiding eye contact. Both of them are faced forward and stay solidly in their seats, leaving as much space as they can allow, and the only times they look toward one another, the other is looking away. They can’t say what they feel unless there’s that protective bubble of space between them. So you get an “almost confessing I like you” scene, with beautiful moments of almost closing that physical distance, but instead staying firmly planted in their seats until Lazzo arrives. Even when Gavin and Nines are forced to be close together, they maintain a healthy distance between them, and their “almost kiss” is swapped out for an “almost admitting I have feelings” moment. (Plus, a bonus of great asexual dialogue, yay!)

Lazzo’s scene isn’t that notable, other than Nines’s and Gavin’s hands brushing on Lazzo’s shoulder, but again, Lazzo is between them and they’re focused on other things. Still got that distance.

The infamous jacket drape, one of the moments Nines breaks the pattern of distance. Gavin is still facing away from him, yes, but Nines deliberately reaches out to touch him in a non-invasive way, one of the only times he does so. Progress! Still a one-sided gesture, though, and even the height difference emphasizes the space between them, with Nines on his feet and Gavin slumped in a chair. Still not breaking that “arm’s length” amount they’ve set. (Tying this into the @high-on-otps‘s analysis about moments of vulnerability occurring when Gavin’s wearing fewer layers, Nines seeing Gavin in just a t-shirt and gifting him his jacket takes on a whole new meaning, with Nines almost stepping in to protect Gavin’s heart. Anyway, that’s a thought for another day.) On another note, this is also one of the two main instances where you see one of these two fools being open only because they think the other won’t notice: just a selfless gesture they don’t want to have to dwell on.

Now! Onto Gavin’s house, where the pattern starts to change. It’s a great way to track the progression of their relationship. They start out separated, with Nines pulled into himself, tablet held out, and Gavin hiding behind his computer, avoiding Nines’s eyes. However, I think this is when Gavin’s starting to realize that he might have feelings for Nines and the reverse might be true (hence his moment of contemplation in the car after he notes the parallel uses of the word “charming” as applying to him and Nines’s possible love interest), and being as tired as he is, his inhibitions are not necessarily gone, but at least hampered. So he allows himself to get close physically, and sort of mentally as well. He’s conflicted, and that’s written all over him, as he puts himself right up against Nines to steal his tablet, but also refuses to look him in the eye and quickly moves to stand up later. This conflict is also incredible to watch in general, but you can see his overwhelming desire to get closer and his defense mechanisms battling in his mind in how he sits: pressed up against Nines’s side, but none of his body overlaps with Nines’s at all, and he doesn’t look at him. Nines makes the first move, leaning his head almost onto Gavin’s shoulder, but not quite. They’re still not there yet. Of course, once Gavin leaves, he keeps his back turned, meeting Nines’s eyes once, for a split second, before entering his room and shutting the door. (And tosses him some gym shorts, of course, because nothing says “I love you” like “hey, you can borrow these sleep shorts.”)

Reentering Nines’s mindscape, we see a little more conflict from his end. (I love how we actually get visual representation of Nines’s internal conflict, while Gavin’s can only be gleaned from how he moves and holds himself. It’s a nice contrast. Frankly, I adore it. Good writing.) Once again, there’s still a fair amount of space between Nines and Zen Gavin, as Nines is burying his feelings in his work. The closest Zen Gavin comes is right behind Nines to talk about what Gavin might have been about to say before walking into his room, but he doesn’t make eye contact, and moves away quite quickly. When he is open and actually making direct eye contact, he’s standing over five feet away, and Nines deliberately turns away. You see? It’s a visual metaphor for the growing emotional tension! Yay!

Nightmare time! This is one of those moments of extreme duress I was talking about!! Also one of my favorite scenes! This is the first time, in the whole film, where all three of these criteria are present: physical proximity, open body language, and direct eye contact. Nines is holding Gavin’s arms, Gavin meets Nines’s eyes, and Gavin’s arms are spread out, not crossed over his chest or in front of his face. Obviously, this moment only lasts a second, as Gavin quickly moves Nines’s arms away, Nines backs up, and Gavin averts his eyes, but for an important beat, that distance was closed, only to be reopened again. Then, of course, they have their “should I stay” moment, where Gavin is sending mixed signals: body is turned toward Nines, but he looks away repeatedly, and Nines is standing a respectful distance away, waiting for permission to come closer or leave. Eventually, Gavin verbally and physically opens himself up: while he avoids looking directly at Nines, he keeps his arms at his sides and doesn’t turn away (huge steps for someone like Gavin), and as for Nines, he does the opposite, maintaining direct eye contact, but turning his body away to give Gavin the space he needs without pressuring him. When Gavin finally welcomes Nines into his bed, he’s making a huge step in his own personal growth. Similar to the couch setup from earlier, except reversed, with Gavin initiating the touch, and with two crucial differences: Nines and Gavin make the briefest of eye contact as they lean in (a silent agreement of “yes, this is a thing we’re doing”) and their bodies overlap. There is an intimate touch in the way they hold hands, fingers interlaced, instead of sitting ramrod straight side by side without making a conscious decision to reach out to the other. Add Nines retracting his skin on top of it, and you get an extremely psychologically open moment. A moment of duress, a moment of comfort (but they still aren’t facing each other yet, and the way it is now, it’s almost like Gavin’s afraid to acknowledge it, to believe it’s real).

NEXT MORNING. Hoo boy this one was a doozy, because it takes the openness of the night before and turns it on its head, twisting and distorting it. Gavin, before he’s awake, displays very physically open body language: spread out on his blankets, arms thrown out to the side up, stomach up. Nines is almost equally so, keeping his arms open as he hands Gavin his coffee and turning more towards him as he sits on Gavin’s bed. But Gavin, regretting the choices he made the previous night, avoids eye contact, curls into himself, and takes the earliest opportunity to put his back to Nines and retreat into the closet. His whole demeanor radiates “get away from me,” but of course, Nines hasn’t picked that up yet. So he presses a little closer, and Gavin makes his point by getting up in Nines’s space, but very deliberately avoiding looking at him and still keeping a couple feet of space. When Nines feels Gavin mentally retreating, he pushes his luck by abusing his commanding presence to intimidate Gavin into cooperation (drawing himself up to his whole height and putting his face right in Gavin’s eye-line). And what does Gavin do? When Nines gets in his space ("I'm not leaving just because you regret having acted like a person"), Gavin makes direct, meaningful eye contact (something he almost never does) and is facing Nines (another big thing), but every part of him screams "get away." In particular, the hands raised in front of his chest like a shield. The whole pose is supposed to look aggressive but every goddamn part of it belies him going into defensive mode. It's FASCINATING. He’s trying to intimidate Nines into leaving him alone because he is so scared of what Nines has seen and what he knows now. This conflict of wanting to accept Nines’s help and push him away is so clearly demonstrated in how part of his body language is geared toward Nines (the eye contact) and how part of is is blocking Nines from coming any closer (his raised hands). He holds this eye contact until Nines leaves.

The next time we see Gavin is back at Jericho, and anyone can sense the tension coming off these two (except, apparently, Chris Miller). They keep a table’s worth of distance between them. Nines, clearly still feeling snubbed from the night before, makes very pointed looks in Gavin’s direction; they’re barbed, full of accusation, very uncharacteristic of Nines, but Gavin did just tell him to wipe his memory, so he definitely believes it’s justified. Gavin avoids eye contact wherever possible, simply because he does not want to deal with this shit right now. I don’t know if he does this consciously, but after Nines’s reference to “last night,” he tucks his hand in his pocket, perhaps an unconscious recoil from Nines’s act of intimacy (holding hands), suppressing that. Cut to them standing in the hallway, Gavin is standing with his arms crossed, looking away, while Nines leans in closer with a much more open stance. He continues probing and Gavin shuts him out entirely, not even deigning to look at him properly before turning his back and walking away. This is one of the tensest moments of their relationship, where Nines is trying to build up the trust they had and Gavin is feeling hurt and betrayed and confused and is falling back on his coping mechanism of shutting people out. The physical distance and body language between them reflects that.

Onto Burn’s Alley! This whole setup is interesting; it’s a social situation in which Gavin and Nines are almost required to interact, as they have a shared obligation to make Chris’s promotion party a pleasant experience, but the tension from the previous night is definitely still bleeding into their conversation. Although they’re crowded around the same table, they put several people between them and focus intently on their drinks and their other friends, never directly addressing one another and avoiding eye contact (again, this movie might as well be subtitled “the one where Nines and Gavin can never actually look at each other for one goddamn second”). Once Ada arrives, Nines makes fast excuses and leaves the conversation, at which point they go back to their previous dance of throwing longing glances at one another when the other isn’t watching. Very good, much yearning. More internal conflict, Gavin can’t deal with his own warring desires of apologizing and running away, so he retreats outside, and Nines follows because now’s his chance to rebuild that trust he lost.

I’m classifying the alley argument as a whole new section because it’s honestly a caliber all its own and deserves a separate analysis. The use of distance here is so good. Nines, though eager to be allowed back into Gavin’s space, is respectful of his partner’s boundaries and situates himself across the alley, though his posture is more open, with his hands behind his back and a gentle lean forward (though this openness is quickly shut down once Gavin snaps at him, you can see Nines’s face fall, and it hurts). Gavin, on the other hand, is violently looking away, body turned in a completely different direction; every part of his posture is unapproachable. And as the argument progresses, we get more of that weaponized distance closing. When Gavin snaps at Nines (”Don’t bother.”), he finally makes eye contact, even keeping his posture more open (arms at his sides, face toward Nines, body mostly angled toward Nines), so Nines is, for the first time, able to properly see all the hurt Gavin’s been bottling up. And Nines steps closer. But, his hackles are raised, shoulders tensed, arms clenched tightly at his sides. They’re both spilling their hearts out, but it’s bitter and cruel and even at their closest, there’s still a foot and a half of space between their chests. When Gavin spits smoke in Nines’s face, the recoil is immediate, and Nines takes his leave of Gavin as Gavin turns away from Nines again. Once again, in a moment of emotional duress, they get closer and closer, but never quite close that gap, but this time, like that morning, the openness is weaponized and aggressive, with Gavin trying to force Nines away by saying “This is me, this is all you’re gonna get, so you might as well run” and Nines trying to get back in by saying “I don’t care, you will listen to me and you will let me care for you.” But because of the violent mannerisms, it backfires. And then the distance grows again.

Watching Nines walk Ada home from the bar, Gavin keeps a huge amount of distance between himself and Nines, both because he doesn’t want to be spotted and because he can’t bring himself to come any closer. With his hood up and hands in his pockets, he’s at his most closed off of the film, and because Nines’s back is to him, it’s obvious to see he’s being shut out, or at least feels like he is. At this moment in time, Ada is the literal and metaphorical wedge between them. Her presence is keeping them apart.

Alley ambush time. This scene. Oh man this scene. Aside from the blatantly romantic reunion scene and balcony scene, this scene has about the most touch and is a perfect narrative foil to Gavin’s nightmare. (I can’t believe I just realized that now, while I was typing this. Michelle, you are a goddamn genius, every major moment has a companion, mirrored moment; Nines giving Gavin his jacket, Gavin doing his speech to Nines and leaving his jacket there; Nines comforting Gavin after his nightmare of dying alone, Gavin comforting Nines and staying by his side to ensure he doesn’t die alone; parallel confessions in the car; of course, “I hate you” “You love me,” there’s the obvious parallel; Gavin initiating a kiss in the reunion, Nines being the one to move first on the balcony; they each get their own moment to shine in the same context and it is beautiful. Hats off to you, Michelle Iannantuono, really. Okay, back to the plot.) Gavin’s body language is at the most vulnerable it’s been all film, because Nines is in danger and he’s panicking. But even with his hands cupped around Nines’s face, Gavin keeps a little bit of distance, that same bare minimum “arm’s length” we see so many times. And the questions he asks are non-invasive, once he realizes that mentioning Ada just freaks Nines out, and then the questions just turn to pleas: “Don’t fall asleep.” Only after Nines falls unconscious does Gavin allow himself to get any closer, but even then he doesn’t let himself be face to face with Nines. The first thing Gavin does is turn Nines’s back to him, forcing that emotional distance, the exception being the arm slung across Nines’s chest to keep him upright. This is the closest they’ve been, other than after Gavin’s nightmare, and Gavin is still keeping that emotional distance by deliberately pushing Nines away from him.

Onto CyberLife. Here’s the other instance where they’re only open when they believe the other won’t know. This shit also hurt like a motherfucker because Gavin’s internal conflict is at its peak here. You can see he’s having a, for lack of a better word for it, “deathbed” moment; a sort of “now or never” feeling. He’s terrified of acknowledging how he feels, much less verbalizing those feelings to the man he loves, but at the same time, he’s worried that if he doesn’t do it now, he may never get a chance. And this is demonstrated wonderfully in how Gavin approaches Nines (and, once again, he’s down to one layer of clothing, just a simple t-shirt). At first, he hangs back from Nines’s hospital bed, looking anywhere but Nines’s face, and talking about how they need Nines for the case; vague, impersonal, dancing around the topic. Until Tina knocks on the window, basically giving him silent permission to switch tracks entirely. It’s at this point that Gavin closes some distance and parallels Nines’s earlier gesture after his nightmare, when Nines reached out to hold his hand; he reaches out and places his hand over Nines’s. (Also, another brilliant parallel? Nines reaching out to touch Gavin when he’s at his lowest point—after his nightmare—and holding his hand, basically saying “I accept you,” and Gavin reaching out to Nines when he’s at his most vulnerable—doubly powerful because Nines’s skin is deactivated and Gavin used to hate androids, so seeing him like this is his truest form—at the hospital, basically saying “I accept you.” God. Poetic cinema, my dudes.) Even moves the chair closer. And then he finally looks Nines in the face and spills his heart and soul out to him, piece by piece. And even when the heart monitor starts beeping, he doesn’t pull away. He keeps his hand firmly planted, only scoots back in the chair for a moment to check the machines, before immediately pulling back in and deliberately staying close, which, for somebody who has as toxic a relationship with touch as he does, is massive. (And, as we saw from the deleted scene, he felt safe enough to fall asleep on Nines’s bed. He looked at this shitty situation and said “I trust him” and put his goddamn head on Nines’s arm and fell asleep. Like. FUCK.)

And now, Nines’s corrupted Zen Garden. This is one of the most powerful moments of the film. In the past, Nines has almost never been the one to initiate contact with Zen Gavin, it’s always been the other way around (Gavin fixing Nines’s collar, Gavin approaching him while he’s analyzing the case), with the notable exception being Nines reaching out to cup Gavin’s cheek. But he’s internalized Gavin’s touch sensitivities so much that even his mind palace version displays the same behaviors, only initiating touch when he’s comfortable. Nines doesn’t violate Zen Gavin’s space either, lets Gavin decide what’s okay. And this is where he breaks that pattern. In his panic, Nines rushes forward without thought to envelope Gavin in a desperate hug— and is met with empty air. The minute Nines tries to reverse their dynamic is when he’s deprived of Gavin’s touch. Because of Ada’s meddling, Nines can no longer interact with this perfect world he’s constructed, and Gavin is, once again, just out of reach. Nine spends the rest of the conversation with his body language painfully open, pleading with Gavin to stay using everything but his words, and I think it speaks goddamn volumes that when he finally agrees to delete him, there is no grand gesture. Nines doesn’t swoop in and kiss Zen Gavin goodbye, nor does he hug him, or even say a proper farewell. He simply nods, turns his back, and walks away, and Gavin, after a moment’s lag, swivels his head to watch, with a soft smile on his face. Nines has realized that this Zen Gavin is a fool’s errand that he cannot hope to sustain, and his last act before wiping him entirely is to metaphorically say “I am done with you. I am walking away and I am not looking back and I am saying goodbye.” Which is so goddamn powerful, I cannot.

Okay. The moment we’ve all been waiting for.

The reunion scene.

This scene hits so much harder because all the previous scenes have kept so much distance between the two protagonists. If there had been more instances of close proximity earlier in the film, I don’t think this scene would carry the same weight it did, but as such, up until this point, there’s always been at least a foot or two of space between Gavin and Nines (and in the instances of them touching, they’re either side by side and not looking at each other or front to back and not looking at each other). But I digress, let’s get into it properly.

Setup time! Gavin’s still in just his t-shirt, Nines is in Gavin’s jacket (Narrative foil from earlier, baby!), and tensions are high. Brushing past all of Tina and Chris’s intervening dialogue, let’s talk physicality. Gavin fucking freezes the minute Nines is in the room, arms held at his sides, the most open his stance has ever been when Nines was awake to see it. Nines, in turn, also keeps his hands to the side. Gavin, disbelieving, takes a step forward, but because he’s also terrified as fuck that Nines heard him and will reject him, he holds out a halfway defensive arm, though there’s not much conviction in it, as its merely held halfway up and doesn’t cross in front of his torso at all. Nines continues to approach, although slowly, so as not to scare Gavin off, because Nines cares so much for Gavin and the last thing he needs is to make him panic, not when something this monumental is at stake. Gavin, with even more internal conflict, continues his approach, daring to hope that maybe this will turn out okay, until Nines says “I heard you.” The realization that Nines essentially saw the deepest darkest parts of him makes Gavin take a step back, but he also maintains the eye contact they’ve been holding; the subtle balance between “I want to run because holy fuck he saw too much, but also I want to stay because I think it might be it this time” is so gorgeous. Of course, once Nines makes it clear that he isn’t running, even though he heard Gavin’s entire confession, Gavin gets slightly more confident and moves forward again. Drawing from the BTS footage as well, you can see Gavin’s hands are clenched the entire time, until he makes it to Nines, when he can finally let go. And finally, with a cognizant mind, they close that distance, leaving mere inches from one another. Gavin reaches out to touch Nines’s hand, feeling his pulse, before gently turning over Nines’s hand so he can feel Gavin’s pulse. Nines, reflecting his earlier gesture, connects Zen Gavin to this Gavin by reaching out to cup Gavin’s face. And then they close that gap entirely and kiss. But it gets even better because, though Nines prods, it’s ultimately Gavin that makes the first move, and I think it always had to to be. Because Nines always lets Gavin move on his own time, even if he steers him in the right direction, occasionally. It would feel wrong if Nines moved first, because he doesn’t need to kiss for romance, but is willing to do so if Gavin wants, and the way this is done, it’s so clear that Gavin wants. This is just a testament to the amazing actors for portraying this so clearly (I know this scene’s been analyzed seven ways to Sunday, but like. The way Gavin’s eyebrows furrow up in the sheer desperation to be closer? The gentle sigh of relief from Nines? The single spin of the LED from yellow to blue the instant they connect? The way Gavin, someone who hates being touched, chases the fucking kiss as Nines pulls away? Like?? Incredible???). And even better, this whole scene is very much a give and take, as both characters let down the barriers they have built up.

Let me put it this way. Nines’s greatest treasure is his mind, and he protects it fiercely for fear of abuse. Gavin’s greatest treasure is his bodily autonomy, and as such, he protects himself from unwanted touch for fear of that autonomy being taken away. And this kiss is such a dialogue of back and forth, give and take. Nines exposes his mind (”I heard you. ‘A force you can’t live without’?” and of course, “You love me.”), opening up his most vulnerable part of himself. Gavin responds in kind by exposing his physicality, by taking Nines’s hand. Nines, once again, exposes his mind by copying his gesture from Zen Gavin, bringing to light one of his most closely guarded secrets and connecting his mind to his real world experiences. And Gavin exposes his touch, once more, by being the one to initiate the kiss.

If you’ll allow me to circle back to the parallel hand-holding from earlier, it ties into this idea of “mind vs. body.” When Nines takes Gavin’s hand after his nightmare, he is demonstrating that he accepts Gavin’s mind. Nines, who values intellect and personality above all else, demonstrates that he loves Gavin for his mind and not his body here, saying “I accept you and your mind, no matter how flawed you think it is.” Gavin, on the other hand, not only has a rough history with androids, but a rough history with physicality. When he takes Nines’s hand at CyberLife, Gavin is demonstrating that he accepts Nines’s body as it is—metal and plastic and synthskin, not flesh and bone—basically saying “I accept you and your body, no matter how flawed you think it is.” They are able to accept the closely guarded facets of one another in moments of heightened emotion and I think that’s incredible.

And after the reunion, the body language is so different. Nines willingly gets up in Gavin’s space without Gavin pushing him away (leaning over him to discuss how to track Ada down), and, of course, gives him his jacket back. Outside Ada’s warehouse, they stand much closer together, nearly touching on the hood of the car, and even make much more deliberate eye contact, shying away less. But what I really like about it is that they don’t do a total 180. That’s not how recovery works. Gavin’s still facing away from Nines during the briefing, Gavin and Nines are closer on the hood, yes, but neither Nines nor Gavin reach out a hand to touch. They’re making little baby steps and it’s wonderful.

Last but not least, the balcony. The culmination of all this.

Despite all they’ve been through, Gavin and Nines still hold distance between themselves on the balcony, though they’re a little freer with the direct eye contact and body language. Gavin’s arms are no longer crossed in front of him, he actually looks toward Nines a lot more. Nines is leaned up against the railing, facing Gavin and meeting his gaze, though you can tell Nines is bothered because his arms are crossed in front of him, preventing him from being totally open. And when he starts to say something that sounds like regret, Gavin also crosses his arms in a defensive position, until Nines reassures him that it’s not Gavin, it’s him. At which point, Gavin is the most vocal he’s ever been about his feelings (I think Michelle pointed out this is the one time in the film Gavin even slightly alludes to Nines being attractive, like the dork he is) and assures Nines that he doesn’t need anything sexual to make this relationship be one he wants to pursue. He keeps his body language remarkably open, turning to face Nines entirely and keeping his arms to the side. Nines, upon realizing Gavin means what he says, has his moment of initiating touch and reaches out to cup Gavin’s face again, uncrossing his arms to do so. There’s yet another beautiful genuine moment of connection where the opposite of the original kiss happens: Nines opens up physically (regarding his interfacing), Gavin opens up mentally (flirting with Nines as opposed to just awkwardly touching him), and Nines closes the distance once more, kissing Gavin as the sun sets just out of frame, turning Gavin’s face into the light. Yet another beautiful narrative foil. Stunning. Ideal. (Also, a note on the confession, the fact that this kiss cements the idea that “This won’t be easy, but it will be worth it, because being with you is just better” just kills me every goddamn time. They’re really willing to put in the work to make this relationship work! Which is amazing!) And then they linger, foreheads pressed together, in the most intimate display of affection in the entire movie. Soft smiles, hands on bodies, completely open and vulnerable and free. Just ... content.

All in all, hats off for really emphasizing each character’s troubled relationship with touch and how that carries over into how they behave around one another. From how Gavin uses his hands and other items as shields while making direct eye contact to how Nines lets Gavin come to him and respects his partner’s boundaries so much that even his brain version of him has these same boundaries, the use of distance and touch and their slow journey to getting physically closer in the spaces they occupy is a fantastic way of showing the progression of their relationship and I consider it an honor to get to see this story unfold. The fact that Nines’s journey would be meaningless without Gavin’s to mirror it and amplify it and vice versa is testimony to the incredible writing showcased here. Bravo to the cast and crew, really.

Tl;dr (and honestly, I wouldn’t blame you) The moments of intimacy only carry as much weight as they do because in every scene prior to them Gavin and Nines hold meaningful distance between them and the only times they break that subliminal pattern are in times of extreme stress or vulnerability.

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iamnightduchess · 4 years

Note

Hey! I absolutely loved your It’s Gotta Be You headcanons. May I ask for your reikasa as parents headcanons and some of the twins headcanon from the It’s Gotta Be You universe? :)

Hello xrocketmanx,

Thank you so much for your ongoing interest in IGBY. Words would not be enough to express the true joy I felt the moment I saw your ask :) I was smiling the whole day!

Since I’m also planning to make a series of ReiKasa’s Modern AU headcanons, I will make this the first HC of the “Across The Universe” series. Thank you once again for motivating & inspiring me to work on this!

Let’s jump into the headcanon, shall we?

ReiKasa Headcanons

Universe: It’s Gotta Be You (SnK HS AU & Modern AU) Pt.2

Pt. 1 Available here

Dad!Reiner & Mom!Mikasa

You know how people say a father would normally cry the first time they look at their newborn daughter’s eyes? Reiner shed tears even way before the twins were born. In particular, during Mikasa’s labor, because she almost broke his hand the moment the waves of contraction began to kick in every 10 to 15 minutes. Mikasa had a natural birth but when Miraé had been a smooth delivery, she had a challenge with Rémy as baby Rémy had broad shoulders and frame like his father. Damn those Nordic features.

Contrary to what most people believe, Reiner loves the late-night feedings and diaper changes. He’s definitely the hands-on dad. In the first three months, Miraé wakes up every hour like clockwork unlike her brother, who’s a heavy sleeper (just like their dad). Reiner would let Mikasa have a full night’s rest since the first night the twins were born. Thankfully, they have Karina and Carla, occasionally Kiyomi who would take turns staying over to help the new parents with the babies. Mr. Midnight is initially wary of the new additions to the family but he’d be the one keeping watch over the tiny humans in their cot within a safe distance.

When they first found out that they were expecting, it was actually perfect timing as Reiner was finishing his service commitment to the Marley government’s military. Mikasa herself was contemplating resignation from her fulltime position as the MO at the medical center. She also wanted to delay her educational pursuit of becoming an OBGYN. After the twins were big enough, she went back to medical school in Paradis to advance her career as a specialist.

Reiner desired for her to keep doing what she loves and he voluntarily opted for early retirement from the military. He was offered a Consultant position with a Marley private security agency’s base in Paradis, under Magath’s recommendation, offering him the flexibility to become a work-at-home father. Reiner and Mikasa decided to move back to Paradis to be closer to their friends and families.

Reiner and Mikasa are both proactive parents. Reiner volunteers to coach the Little League and when she’s off duty, Mikasa would find time to help the mum groups with fundraising activities - charity bake sale, school concerts. Reiner is the dad who’d be at his daughter’s violin class and become the resident eye candy to the other mums.

They enjoy the outdoors so much and they both even went hiking with baby Rémy and Miraé when they were only six months old to catch the sunrise. (Original idea inspiration by @quietcelt )

Gabi, is without a doubt, the 'unofficial' firstborn of the Ackerman-Braun family 😉 She even calls Mikasa mom at times & goes to Mikasa for more delicate girl issues.

Reiner and Mikasa like to make their twins’ birthday celebration a family and friends event. Niccolo & Sasha would be in charge of the food, Connie & Armin the entertainment. Uncle Zeke would compete with Uncle Levi when it comes to getting gifts for the twins. They'll glare at each other while trying to one-up the other from across the room. They’re the uncles who would be trying to take each other out in competitive family activities.

Mikasa is an absolute mama bear & protects her brood like no other, including Gabi. That's how Miraé built upon her own protectiveness. But, Mikasa is also the no-nonsense mum (like you better not tell a lie, because you’ll get an ass-whooping either way). Because of this, the twins are terrified of their mom more than their dad. Also, when Mikasa starts to call the kids with their full Hizurian names, oh shit's about to go down. Them babies better run 😹

Reiner, on the other hand, is the disciplinarian (something that was acquired through his military trainings) but he's also the most chill dad ever. He loves to sit down & converse with their children on their days or problems while Mikasa is the observant listener. He's also the dad that's popular amongst the other kids for being so cool. He's the one who organizes the twins' schedules and appointments.

Reiner makes lame dad jokes around the kids especially after a crisis aversion to cheer them up and Mikasa finds it very endearing.

Reiner & Mikasa’s teamwork as parents is impeccable. Reiner is diplomatic when Mikasa is authoritative.

Rémy and Miraé (The Twins)

Rémy Masaru Braun was born fifteen minutes after his twin sister, Miraé. He has a darker shade of blonde hair than his father but has his mother’s dark eyes. His middle name, Masaru, which means victorious, was given by their grandaunt, Kiyomi. He favors Reiner’s Nordic build and features but he embodies his mother’s tenderness and zen. Athletic, Rémy plays football & chess like his father but loves gardening like his mother. Rémy is the thinker first between the two. He’s born with a melancholic, old soul and the more shy, reserved twin.

Miraé Ramona Braun has her father’s hazel eyes and her mother’s midnight hair & soft Hizurian features. She’s physically smaller than her brother but she’s the headstrong, stubborn ball of sunshine, a chatterbox that could even rival her aunt Gabi. Miraé’s name was given to honor Mikasa’s late mother and she’s the overprotective twin with a tendency to act impulsively. Miraé is the doer first, run and forget it ever happened, twin. She’s the erratic, emotional twin with a flair for drama.

The double trouble, as Uncle Levi calls them, butted heads often but they always have each other’s backs. Miraé: the troublemaker. Rémy: the peacekeeper/mess cleaner & emotional support.

One time for Halloween, the twins dressed up as Jessie & James from Team Rocket with Mr. Midnight as Meowth. They had a lot of fun Trick or Treating with Brandon and Helena while the dads - Reiner, Bertolt and Eren took them around the neighborhood.

--------

I hope you’ll enjoy this headcanon. It warms my heart everytime I re-imagine ReiKasa in a Modern AU. Living happily, being in love and building a beautiful family together. Thank you so much for the Ask. I really had fun! <3

xoxo

NightDuchess

#asks #xrocketmanx #snk headcanons #modern au #ReiKasa #ReiMika #AckerBraun #Reiner Braun #Mikasa Ackerman #It's Gotta Be You #fic universe #across the universe #by nightduchess #Thank you!#dad!Reiner #mom!Mikasa #reinerxmikasa #ReiKasa headcanons #mom!Kasa

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talesfromlissom · 4 years

Text

Glory of the Moon

A/N: This is split into four separate parts, and it’s also really long so uh yeah, sorry if the characters act ooc, I’m still trying to figure out who I want to write most of them, and I haven’t done character studies with any of the characters (minus solider:76) so sorry y’all.

This is also a GN reader for all the people that like GN readers, so any pronouns can go for the role of (Y/N) ;), have fun~

This is kind of my own idea, featuring Poly!Mchanzo but Mcree and (Y/N) are werewolves.

Summary: As the recall has been issued, new recruits start to flood into overwatch due to recommendations, from old and new allies. However, the newest recruit seems to have an interest in Hanzo, much to Jesse’s dislike.

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV

“So, what do you think of the new recruit?” Was the first thing that came to Jesse’s ears that morning.

Jesse shrugged.

“Haven’t met ‘em yet.”

“Well, from what Lena tells me, his name is Dallas, and...he’s a werewolf.”

Now that caught Jesse’s attention.

“Another one? Damn, might as well make half of the base off limits during the full moon.”

“Bah! The only thing you and I do according to Hanzo is bother him with belly rubs.”

Jesse snickered.

“Speakin’ of Han, where is he?”

(Y/N) shrugged.

“Not sure, he said he wanted to go and train before people started filling it,” (Y/N) replied. “He says he doesn’t like it when he keeps people waiting.”

A pause.

“Liar.”

“Fine, he said that he doesn’t want Genji to come into the training ground and challenge him to a fight in the middle of the day.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“If you tell him that I told you that he’ll smother me with a pillow.”

“I...Ima tell him.”

“Jesse-mf-Mcree, you better not-”

──•~❉+❉~•──

“Well ain’t he a sight.” Jesse muttered, as (Y/N), and him had come to the training grounds, seeing the new recruit.

(Y/N) could tell he was new, he didn’t have a uniform.

This man was dressed in black jeans, ripped jeans of course, (Y/N) smiled.

This man was young, maybe getting into his late 30’s, and with his white t-shirt and his black jacket, he knew this man at least had a fashion sense.

(Y/N) heard tapping of feet fill the air, and based on how fast they moved they knew automatically who it was.

“Heya Han, how you doin’?” Jesse said, beating (Y/N) to greeting the smaller man.

“Well, I was training, but the new recruit came and people filed in.”

“Ah! My friends!” Reinhart’s booming voice yelled. “Come meet the new recruit!”

“Speak of the devil.” Jesse muttered as the crowd parted.

(Y/N) crossed their arms and raised an eyebrow as the man walked over.

And Jesse extended a glance to (Y/N) as the man came into range.

This man was definitely a werewolf.

He practically wreaked of it.

However, (Y/N) couldn’t pinpoint what pack he was from, because he didn’t smell like an omega.

The man grinned at (Y/N).

“Alpha (Y/N)? Is that really you?”

(Y/N) smiled. “In the flesh, and you are?”

“Dallas! Dallas Starmonger! I’m from the western pack in Oregon!” He beamed. “It's an honor to speak to you!”

(Y/N) grinned.

“The western pack? Ain’t y’all-” Jesse began.

“And who is this?” Dallas asked, gesturing to Hanzo.

Hanzo paused.

“Oh, Hanzo Shimada, at your service.”

Dallas watched as the man extended the hand.

“No, the pleasure is all mine.”

And (Y/N) had to stop Mcree from storming over when the man kissed Hanzo’s hand.

Hanzo blinked as Dallas walked by, clicking his teeth and entering the base.

“What the ‘ell was that!” Jesse cried.

“A proper greeting?”

“He kissed yer hand, Han.”

“You do realize that is a form of greeting, Mcree?”

“But-”

(Y/N) shook their head.

“(Y/N), help me out ‘ere!”

“No. I’m gonna go train with Zarya and Mei, see ya.”

“But-but darlin’-!”

“Bye Jesse! Go talk to Dallas or somethin’!”

Hanzo snickered as Jesse crossed his arms and pouted.

“Are you jealous Jesse?”

“No.”

“Jesse, calm yourself, this man is a werewolf, if I am correct, your scent, as well as (Y/N)’s lingers on me, he’ll know to keep away.”

Jesse still pouted as Hanzo gave him a pat on the shoulder and walked into the hall, and turned to go towards the cafeteria.

He stood there for a bit.

Maybe he was just being paranoid.

──•~❉+❉~•──

“He still hasn’t said hello to me.” Jesse huffed.

(Y/N) shook their head.

“Jesse, he probably didn’t see you.”

“Didn’t see my ass, he looked right at me!” Jesse paused. “Somethin’ about this guy doesn’t feel right.” Another pause. “Jeez, if I had a dollar for everytime I caught that man staring at Han, I’d pay off my own goddamn bounty.”

(Y/N) rolled their eyes. “C’mon Jesse, you and I said that about Hanzo, and now look where we are, we’re all dating.”

“Tsk.” Jesse muttered, rounding the corner.

“And besides, Hanzo is the most observant out of us, if he knows something is up, he’ll know it before we do.”

“I just, I don’t-”

Jesse came to a halt, spying Hanzo and Dallas down the hall.

Hanzo was leaning against a wall, with Dallas hovering over him, the two engaged in casual chatter.

Jesse gestured to the two.

“See?”

“Jesse, be polite.”

“I am being polite!”

“Ah, (Y/N), and...Joel..?” Dallas began as the two walked over.

“It’s Jesse.” Jesse hissed.

“Ah, Jesse right,” Dallas corrected. “So, you three are the only werewolves here?”

Hanzo raised an eyebrow. “Three?”

“Hanzo ain’t a werewolf,” Jesse muttered, and (Y/N) narrowed their gaze at him, noticing the slight attitude in his tone.

(Y/N) huffed at Jesse who narrowed his gaze even further.

“Ah, he’s a human then?”

“Yep.”

“Hm.” Dallas said. “That’s a good thing to know.”

“And why’s that?”

“Jesse, calm-”

“No no, it's fine,” Dallas said, scratching the back of his neck. “I heard that the new recruits get paired to spar against the older recruits, so I just wanted to know so I can go easy on him-”

“You do not have to go easy on me. I can handle it.” Hanzo replied.

Dallas then grinned.

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Nice, well, see you guys around, Mrs.Amari still has to show me around!”

As the man ran off, (Y/N) immediately turned to Jesse.

“Jesse, you need to take a chill pill.”

“I’m completely chill darlin’. Completely.” Jesse snapped through gritted teeth.

──•~❉+❉~•──

Things didn’t get much better between Jesse and Dallas.

But they did between Dallas and Hanzo.

Hanzo found a mutual understanding in Dallas.

Dallas, was raised in a crime family as well, with his father being a member of the mafia.

Unlike Hanzo’s father, Dallas’ was just a member, not the leader.

So he understood the expectations.

Alas, Dallas ran away, not wanting to participate in such violent things, and joined overwatch to help, is what Dallas told him anyways.

He found himself having to speak to Dallas by himself, or with (Y/N) around, since Jesse and Dallas never got along.

This led to...a lot of fights between (Y/N) and Jesse, whenever (Y/N) caught Jesse being rude.

Hanzo sat in the background most of the time when the two fought.

Tempers flared high between the two as of right now, not just because of this new recruit,but the full moon was tonight.

Which meant Hanzo tried to keep his distance, but again, there was a fight, and he didn’t leave in time.

──•~❉+❉~•──

“Jesse what hell were you thinking!” (Y/N) cried as Jesse merely looked at the floor.

“God! Can’t you get your head out of your ass for two seconds and actually try to get along with this guy?”

“He called me an Omega!”

“So what! I get called an Omega too? It isn’t rare, Jesse!”

“He knew that I’d punch him if I said that!”

“He did not Jesse. I bet Dallas is just tired of you being rude to him so he decided to be rude back!”

“Why the hell are you taking his side?”

“I’m not taking anybody’s side Jess’, why would you think I’d do that to you!”

“Then why don’t ya say anythin’!” A pause. “He interrupts me, ignores me, and yet you say nothin’! You’re a goddamn alpha, he’ll listen to you!”

“No he won’t! He’s an alpha too Jess’!”

Jesse let out a groan of frustration.

“And what about Han? Huh, I guess you don’t see him feel ‘im up him do ya?”

“He’s never done that before!”

“Yes he has!” Jesse yelled, his voice getting louder.

Hanzo tensed as the shouting would get louder, and the grip on his book tightened.

Soon, the book slammed shut, causing (Y/N) and Jesse to turn to him.

“Can you two please cease this useless fighting!” Hanzo cried. “It brings us nowhere!”

Silence.

“(Y/N), Jesse isn’t going to like everyone, but Jesse, you must be polite to Dallas, it's unprofessional and he is your team member!”

“Han-”

“No! You are both acting like children, hell, I can’t sit down and have a meal without you two fighting about this man! He is just a man!”

And that was the last straw.

Hanzo marched past the two enraged werewolves, who were still silent.

“I’m going to meditate, do not bother me.”

And the door shut, and frankly, (Y/N) and Jesse swore the door sounded louder than before.

──•~❉+❉~•──

It was always calming in the zen garden.

It was built by request of Genji and Zenyatta.

Hanzo was thankful it was late, Genji and Zenyatta tended to meditate during the day.

So as of right now, he was alone.

The calming atmosphere almost always brought some peace to his mind.

Near the fountain, eyes shut.

However, they snapped open as the leaves brushed next to him.

He turned, and spotted Dallas coming out of the bushes.

A water bottle in hand.

And a towel wrapped around his neck.

Dallas paused.

“Oh, heya Hanzo, how are you doing?”

“I am fine, you?”

Dallas frowned.

“I know that look,” He said. “Joel and (Y/N) fought again I’m guessing?”

“Is it that obvious?” A pause. “And his name is Jesse.”

Dallas muttered an apology before sitting down, next to Hanzo.

Hanzo fidgeted.

“What...are you doing here?”

“Oh, I was working out with Reinhart and Junkrat, but I got tired and left early,” He said, placing the bottle down. “God, those two have so much stamina.”

Hanzo shook his head.

“Indeed.”

Silence.

“You...want a sip?”

“What?”

“Of my water.”

“Erm..no thank you.”

“You sure? Dr.Ziegler told me that you tend to meditate for hours, it shouldn’t hurt to drink something small.”

Hanzo thought for a moment, his dragons spoke to him, telling him to go see (Y/N) and Jesse.

He brushed it off and grabbed the water bottle, taking a few gulps.

“See? Isn’t that better?”

Hanzo shook his head.

“I suppose.”

Dallas grinned.

“Doesn’t Winston have some fruit here?”

“This isn’t the greenhouse, Dallas.”

“I know but it doesn’t hurt to look right?”

Hanzo sighed.

“You may look, but I am not.”

“Alright, see ya tomorrow then.”

“Farewell.”

Hanzo shut his eyes yet again.

──•~❉+❉~•──

After fifteen minutes, Hanzo felt off.

His head was pounding, his arms felt weak.

Slowly, he opened his eyes.

When were the lights this bright.

Hanzo stood up-

He wobbled and fell against the fountain, gripping his head.

His vision was getting more distorted and blurry every time he blinked.

He heard footsteps behind him.

“God, it was easy breaking into this place.” A voice said off in the distance.

“You sure this is the place?”

Hanzo hobbled forward, only to fall to the ground.

“Oh it's the place alright.” He heard Dallas’ voice interrupt.

Through his blurred vision, he saw the faint outline of Dallas, crouching near him.

The corner of his eyes began to turn to black, as he felt himself be lifted from the ground and placed on Dallas’ shoulder.

“Welcome to the Eastern Pack of Spain, Hanzo Shimada.”

#hanzo x reader #mcree x reader #mchanzo x reader #glory of the moon series #aaaa #werewolf reader #werewolves #overwatch x reader #overwatch imagines #my writing #werewolf mcree #werewolf!mcree

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kchuarts · 3 years

Text

Flowers in Blood

A/N: Sorry I’ve been gone for so long guys. I had a bit of a mental health issue that had me in the hospital. I am much better and have a new positive outlook on life. With that being said, enjoy! Translations provided in AO3 link because I’m mega lazy.

Summary: The price we pay for love

Warnings: Violence, mentions of sexual and domestic abuse and disturbing themes.

Taglist: @lucywrites02 , @shiningloki *(let me know if you wanna be tagged!)*

Chapter 12: Lilac

Jonathan shook his head, placing a hand over his mouth and feeling all the air from his lungs leave. He could not process her sober words completely and wanted to call her bluff. Pine knew damn well she wasn't lying. While it felt so good to know how she truly felt and that his feelings were reciprocated, it scared him more. "We can't lead a life like this, Katie." He spoke softly, lowering his hand. "You cannot fall in love with me." He looked into her eyes, a sadness glimmering in his own.

The brunette scoffed, shaking her head. "So I'm not allowed to love the man who showed me that I don't have to be afraid anymore? I can't control the way I feel for you." Tears streamed down her cheeks and she wiped them with the heels of her palms. "I-I've never been in love, not until I met you." She whispered breathlessly, her body trembling. Katie had her suspicions that Pine felt as she did, but he was too proud to let himself lower down to her level. The girl rose to her feet slowly and walked over to Jonathan, standing only inches apart from him. "I don't care about the difference between our ages, I don't care about the image we could present and I don't care about any other man but you-"

"It's not about that, Katie." Pine gently took her arms and looked into her eyes. He shook his head, mouth hanging partially open as he wanted to say something but could not. There was nothing more that Jonathan wanted to say but that he loved her too. Although his fear was prevailing his affections. "I will tell you how I feel. I am frightened to the core that I will end up losing you just as I had with Sophie and almost Jed." His jaw clenched slightly.

"Jonathan I am not either of them-"

"That's just it though! You will become one of them if I allow whatever is between us to come to fruition." He released her arms and turned his back on her, biting his lip. "I'm tired of my games too." He sighed deeply and thought to himself for a moment. A wry smile spread across his face as he thought of the life he wanted to have with her. No more danger, a cozy inn doubling as their home on the countryside side that they run together, settling down, having a family… It was all but a dream. Jonathan turned around to face her and felt a tear slip down his cheek. "I do not want to lose another person that I truly care about. I will not recover if you die." He swallowed a sob and stood firm. Those green eyes he so adored glittered in the rooms light, wide with awe. "That is why we cannot be. We live a life sworn to protect others that love is just a fake concept, a disguise to get us further into the mission. You cannot continue to allow your emotions to take hold, Katie.” He shook his head, wanting so desperately to reciprocate her feelings. This was absolute hell to Jonathan, but if it was to keep her safe then he would do what is necessary. He couldn’t lose her as it would be his final breaking point.

“And what about you?” Katie pursed her lips, tears brimming her eyes again. She was so damn confused about the words he spoke. “If you feel the same way as I d-do then you’re just tormenting yourself. Jonathan, please. I’m begging you to stop holding things above yourself that are out of your control.” She grabbed his forearm gently, staring deep into his baby blues. “There is nothing you can do about the past! What’s done is done and you need to move on!! I moved on and forgave you about Cam! I came to an understanding that being mad at someone who tried to save my brother wasn’t going to get me any further in life. You need to let go.” She continued to press on, determined to pull Jonathan out of the dark place he seemed reluctant to walk away from. The room became silent as the two spies stared at each other for a moment. All that could be heard was the occasional sniffle and soft breathing. Katie gasped softly as Jonathan backed her into the wall, trapping her. She swore if her heart beat any harder, Pine would hear it thumping within her chest.

Jonathan closed his eyes for a moment, resting his arm on the wall above the brunette woman. He took a deep breath in through his nostrils and thought about her words. Slowly, he opened his eyes and his brows knit together at the expression on Katie’s face. “Don’t look at me like that.” He whispered, his free hand coming up as he dragged his knuckles gently down her cheek. “Katie-” her name came out in a breathy exhale from his lips as he leaned forward. “I can’t.” He shut his eyes again and clenched his jaw, resisting his feelings. Flashbacks of the night he found Sophie bombarded his mind and a tear slid down his cheek. His hands came down, cupping the American woman’s face as if he was going to kiss her. He felt one of her hands cradle his own and held back a smile from the gesture. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.” He choked out, tears falling freely now. Jonathan released her face and quickly turned his broad back to her, walking over to the bed and sitting on the edge of it. “I-I thought that when I first met you that maybe I’d come to see you as a little sister.” He sobbed, looking up at her with a teary gaze. “I do not see you like that. I never expected to see you as I do now.” He held a hand up, covering his eyes and feeling ashamed to cry in front of her.

This was just as much of a confession that Katie would receive from Pine tonight. She swiftly walked over to the emotional ex soldier and held him as he wept. Katie urged him to sit with her properly so she could cradle his head on her chest. Making him cry was never an intent of the brunette’s and it hurt her to see him like this. She figured that since he most likely felt the same, it would take him a bit longer to actually say the three words she so badly wanted to hear from him. Strong arms wrapped tightly around the girl’s frame as she continued to hold Jonathan. She ran her fingers through his short, dark blonde locks and cooed to him while he cried into her chest. Damn the bath he had drawn for her, that could wait an eternity as comforting Pine was more important than washing herself of the horrible day she’s had. “I don’t want you to get hurt either.” She pressed a kiss on his head, her other hand rubbing up and down his back. The tears that Jonathan shed from his emotional back up dripped on Katie’s skin, wetting her chest. “I never wanted for you to cry, I’m so sorry. This was not my intention at all. I’m sorry for falling in love with you.”

----------------------

Abbadon removed her shoes as she stepped into the home of Masayuki Kibutsuji. She turned around, raising her brow at her henchmen as they followed her lead but with their shoes on. “Do you not have any respect? It is rude to wear your shoes in one’s home. Take them off.” she snapped, rolling her eyes at their silent apology. The auburn haired woman wanted nothing more than to leave this beautiful traditional Japanese home as there was filth deep inside of this pristine building. The trio began their journey into the home as soon as the henchmen took their shoes off. Abbadon knew her way around as it was not her first time being there from all the meetings that Belladonna and her former Wolfsbane held with Wisteria. “Ugh, that pig never changes.” She muttered under her breath as she heard sounds of unwilling women crying out for help from the assault of Masayuki’s goons. The former leader of Wolfsbane did not know any Japanese, but she had come to the conclusion that “tatsukete” meant “help” in the language for all the times she had heard it.

Many illegal firearms and other various weapons lined the walls of the home as the three walked through the halls. Abbadon turned her attention to the gorgeous courtyard within the center, and noticed that even the beauty of the garden had been tainted by violence. Several Yakuza members were piling crates of hazardous explosives in the garden along with more firearms. The auburn haired woman wondered how in the hell they managed to get all that into Japan seeing as the country had no tolerance for such weaponry. Shaking her head, she carried onward while giving a scoff in disgust. Finally, she reached the decorated screen door of Masayuki’s main room and slid it open with quick force. A smile spread across her lips as she saw the heir to the Kibutsuji clan stand up in surprise with a perverse smile of his own.

“Abbey-chan!” He clapped his hands together and stepped down from his place on yet more crates which presumably contained more weapons. “Come in, come in! Oi-” He snapped his fingers to some of the lazier looking goons, “Meiyo aru gesuto ni keishoku o.”

The goons looked up, blinking slowly and stretching. One of them even yawned and turned over to go back to sleep.

“Nani o matteimasu ka?! Ima anata wa meinu no musuko ni ikimasu!! HAIYAKU!!" Masayuki barked, sighing loudly and rubbing his hand down his face. "Nantekotta, bakageta yarō wa kesshite kikanai." The Yakuza lord mumbled after his men left the room in a rush. Masayuki's attention returned back to Abbadon as well as the previous dirty smile. "I deeply apologize my dear Abbey-chan." He took another step forth, bowing to her in utmost respect. "Sometimes my men are defiant and would rather sleep on the job. They do not like being cooped up in here and would rather be out in the streets of our country. I have called for refreshments as you are my honored guests! Come, come. Have a seat…" he led them over to some traditional zen pillows. Dark, lusty eyes flicked up at Abbadon and the Yakuza lord winked at her. "You of course may sit on my lap if you so choose, my bijin~" he chuckled mischievously.

Abbadon looked at Masayuki in disgust before clicking her tongue. “I appreciate your avidity to have my very being sit on your depraved form, but I will respectfully decline. I would actually rather love to drop this topic all together and speak to you for what I am truly here for-” She held her hand up just as he was about to speak out of turn, “Do not flatter yourself, Masayuki. I did not come for sightseeing or to check in with you.” Her hand snatched the cup of wine provided to her without looking. Honey brown eyes glanced down at the red substance and she lifted the glass up to smell it. Her nose crinkled at the scent as he had chosen something she hated. Abbadon flicked her gaze back up at Masayuki and her face remained stone cold. “You have means of transportation to Zhangjiajie where my son is being held prisoner.” She set the glass down and glared at the Yakuza lord.

Masayuki scratched his chin and chuckled at her moxy. “Ahh Daniel-san has been slippery with his information has he? More careful he must be when testing the wrath of a mother. The dragon within rears her head and snaps her ferocious jaws shut on those who harm her brood.” He stands up, pacing the tatami floor of the room. “Such tenacity is admirable, Abbey-chan.” He stops his pace, grinning at her.

“I am not here to listen to your moronic riddles, Masayuki!” Abbadon stands up in turn, her hand reaching back to the very ironic gun she has hidden on her person. She did not mean to disrespect the no gun policy, but if she had to do it in order to get her son then she would do anything. “Tell me where the boat is NOW.” she whips the gun out, her henchmen following her lead in short and spilling the wine on the tatami.

“Tsk, how very rude! I offer you hospitality and even a chance to sleep with the greatest Yakuza lord in all of Japan. Instead, you threaten me with your silly pistols and spill my wine on the expensive tatami floor.” Masayuki’s tone changed and he snapped his fingers again. “Uragirimono o kakomimasuga, demo utanaide kudasai!” He spoke loudly. Around twenty Yakuza men stormed into the room, guns pointed and ready at the three foreigners. “I can see why Wolfsbane now belongs to that husband of yours. Daniel-san had suspicions that you would eventually break free of your temporary hold in Russia. He knew that you would come here looking for a way to get to China, since you and The Tigress do not see eye to eye. Again, I admire the fierce tenacity a mother dragon has for her young.” He grinned at her. The crime lord raised his hand, signaling his men to lower their guns. “Now, I have an offer for you, my bijin. I will let you walk out of here no harm done and I will not tell Daniel-san of your whereabouts, but you owe me something in return.”

“If it’s sleeping with your disgusting self then forget it.” Abbadon scoffed.

Masayuki pretended to be offended by her words with a dramatic gasp, “Oh you wound me so! How will I ever recover from such a brutal attack!?” He snapped his head back in her direction and chuckled again. “Actually, believe it or not, that was not what I want of you.” He placed his hands behind his back, rocking on his heels. “You have friends staying in The Prince Sakura do you not?”

Abbadon’s heart stopped for a moment and a bead of sweat rolled down her pale face. “I wouldn’t exactly call them friends, but yes, I do.”

“Ahh, yes I’m so glad you are cooperating. You would be surprised at how many people I have under my thumb all across the country. The front desk girl is one of my many whores, but enough of my boasting. You see, Bloodroot is currently residing just down the hall from here as I have so graciously taken them in. They have more respect than yourself as they do not purposely spill wine on flooring that is centuries old nor refuse my offer of pleasures.” He paused, picking at some dried blood from underneath his fingernails. “Travis-san, Bloodroots leader, wants the girl that you have a soft spot for. That is his former lover and he has not been pleased with any other women for the past few years.” He continues to pick at his nails before being completely satisfied. Masayuki looked up and laughed at the horrified expression Abbadon tried to hide.

Katie never went into full detail as to what happened between her and Travis, but it was enough to make Abbadon’s blood run cold. Her situation reminded the auburn haired woman of her own struggle with the man she was forced to marry. There was no love at all between them, it was solely political and miserable. Despite her husband forcing himself on her, Abbadon considered her pregnancy with Nikolai a blessing. When Ulrich, her husband, had found out she was with child, he would beat her until she miscarried. Nikolai was the 10th pregnancy she had that survived Ulrich’s torture. Her son was the only reason for her continued existence. She held her breath as Masayuki stepped closer to her and smiled widely.

“He is very bored of the women he has slept with after Katie-chan. No one screams like she does, begs for him to stop like she does, blacks out mid fuck like she does, chokes from his grasp like she does, convulses-”

“ENOUGH!!” Abbadon screeched, her mind flooded with memories of Ulrich doing the exact same things to herself. The auburn haired woman’s heart beat painfully for Katie and she could only hope that she would escape unscathed. “Just tell me what you want from me and I will do it. So long as my son is not hurt or Daniel is told of where I am.” Tears burned her honey brown eyes and she collapsed to the floor. Her henchmen dove down, placing their hands on her back and shoulders to provide comfort. The grief stricken mother began to weep silently, praying for her son and Katie’s safety.

The smile that Masayuki once had on his face was wiped clean off as he sneered at Abbadon’s sobbing form. “Bring me Jonathan Pine and Katelyn O’Connor. Your brother has given me the opportunity to take Pine dead and is rewarding me with a handsome price for his death. Travis is also offering me an added bonus for Katie-chan. He’s very willing to share her.” The nasty smile crept back up on the crime lord’s face complimented by a sinister, cold laugh.

Abbadon’s heart broke for the young woman and she silently agreed to the Yakuza lord’s bidding. If there was any loophole that she could find so that Katie would not get hurt further, or even Pine being killed, she would search far and wide. She had faith in the pair that they would help her find Nikolai and bring him back safely. It was time for her to play devil’s advocate.

------------------------

Two weeks had passed since the emotional struggle between Pine and Katie had occurred. Jonathan said nothing more about the situation and was reluctant to bring it up as he tried his best to forget it. Katie seemed to be in the same mindset, but was more bothered by the radio silence. The best thing for the both of them right now was to focus on the mission at hand and do as Pine had said; fake their feelings. During this time, the pair came up with nothing new on finding Wisteria’s whereabouts along with Bloodroots. When the latter was even brought up, Katie clung tightly to Jonathan as bad memories surfaced. Despite their silent vow of faking it until they made it, Pine would never deny Katie comfort from her disturbing past relationship. It was the same with Katie never denying Jonathan her chest to lay on when he too suffered from memories of long ago.

Since nothing was turning up, Katie begged Jonathan to let them have at least one day of fun and travel to Himeji castle. The brunette won after consistent pestering and even told Pine that Yakata Matsuri was taking place. She had researched it beforehand as a means to try and attend at least one festival. “Hmmm…” she pondered, looking through some visiting Kimono and trying to decide which one to buy.

“Katie, please.” Jonathan groaned slightly.

“What? Can’t I look? It’s only been an hour!” She frowned at him, turning her attention back to the Kimono at hand.

“Yeah, an hour too long.” He muttered in reply before turning on his heel and seeing a rather pretty visiting Kimono. Having his attention captured by something so gorgeous, he walked forth to it and examined it. “Katie, have a look at this one. I think you’d like it.” Jonathan called out to the short brunette.

“You’re just saying that because you don’t wanna shop any-” She stopped as she saw the Kimono Pine was referring to. “Oh wow.” she said, walking to it and taking it between her fingers. The Kimono was a simple pink with red and white flowers patterned on the bottom and traveling upwards slightly. The Obi and sash were of a gold, red, and white coloring. Katie turned around, looking at Jonathan with a smile. “This couldn’t be any more perfect! It’s stunning! You’ve got some good taste.” She elbowed him and gave a wink before heading to the counter to purchase the Kimono.

A faint blush caressed Pine’s cheeks from her flirtatious gesture. Perhaps after holding back for a bit, he could indulge just a bit in some fun. He smiled as Katie turned around, excitement sparkling in those green eyes he adored. “Happy?” Jonathan pulled out his wallet and walked to the counter as well, handing his visa to the cashier as soon as she was done boxing the clothing up.

Katie frowned and tried to grab the credit card from him, “Don’t buy it for me!! I have enough to purchase it.” She shut her eyes tightly, huffing through her nostrils as Jonathan ruffled her short hair.

“What? I can’t buy a cute girl something she likes?” Pine flashed a devilishly handsome smile and returned the wink at her. This was a dangerous line he was playing with and he had to be absolutely careful of just how much he was willing to show.

The pair left the shop with not just the Kimono but 2 Yukatas as well. Katie had pressured Jonathan into wearing a Yukata and even promised him she would help him out. It was interesting to find him one given he is much taller than the average Japanese man, but eventually they found something for him. While packing for the small trip, Katie called a hotel nearby Himeji castle to make reservations. They began to walk out of The Prince Sakura when the front desk manager stopped them. "Keiko-San, dou shimashita ka?" Katie tilted her head at the woman's worried expression.

"A-Anata wa okonatte wa ikemasen!!" The woman, Keiko, pleaded. Her eyes seemed to dart back and forth between the pair. “Karera wa kite imasu!! G-gomenasai!! Gomenasai-” The manager began to sob frantically before falling forward with the sound of a gunshot following.

Heavy footsteps echoed in the lobby with several others behind. “Well now isn’t that a damn shame.” a deep voice spoke.

“Jonathan… Jonathan!” Katie pulled at his sleeve, beginning to hyperventilate and shake. “Jonathan d-don’t let him take me.” Her eyes were wide and full of fear and fresh tears began to roll down her cheeks.

As soon as the owner of the voice came into Pine’s view, he pulled Katie close to him and pressed her face against his chest. “I’ve got you.” His eyes narrowed at the man and he held the girl a little more closely. “I won’t let anything happen to you, I promise.” He whispered to her, his brain now wracking with ways to escape.

“Aww how cute! Little Katie’s found a new boyfriend.” Travis spat on the floor and leered back at Pine, nodding. “Useless isn’t she?” He raised his brows at the man holding his ex girlfriend. “She can’t even fight back because I’ve conditioned her to be that way unless she wants to be punished.” The brunette man threw his head back in laughter, then returned to his normal posture and snapped his fingers. Around four other men came in and had other innocent people get on the ground before mercilessly pulling their triggers.

Jonathan held Katie closer to him as she screamed from the noise of people being killed and gunfire. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” He shook his head, feeling the brunette woman trembling hard. “Those people had nothing to do with this!!”

Travis walked over to the victims, pickpocketing their corpses. “They had everything to do with it. All part of the plan in motion, Mr. Pine. Oh don’t act so surprised, I’ve heard about you and how you took down Roper.” He pointed an accusatory finger at Jonathan and began to circle the pair. “Unfortunately for you, I’m younger than Roper and won’t be so easy to take down.” He stopped, clapping his hands together. “Now, we can either do this the easy way or the hard way. Give me my sweet Katie and you’ll die, I’m not letting Masayuki get that chance to kill you. The hard way is that little Katie gets hurt while I forcefully take her from you and then I’ll kill you slower. I make up the rules here.” He tapped his temple and laughed wickedly. Katie’s ex was a psychotic mess with no chance of redemption. Travis had come from a rough home to begin with and was heavily bullied as a child until one day, he had enough. It was a bloodbath in his childhood home; parents stabbed multiple times and brother decapitated. Somehow, he was never caught and was always clean with his crimes no matter how messy they got. When Katie had entered his life, she thought she was someone who could help him but quickly found out he was past the point of help. “Mmm I’m so hard right now from hearing you scream, baby. You know that I love those horrified screams.” He began to walk closer and pulled his gun back out, firing it.

“FUCK!!” Pine cried out, feeling the bullet hit him in the shoulder and forcing him to loosen his hold on Katie. His mind entered war mode and tactics he had learned in the military began to come back. “KATIE RUN!! GO!!” He shoved her in the opposite direction and looked at her with pleading eyes before feeling another bullet lodge into his chest.

“JONATHAN NO!!” She screamed, terrified to the core and frozen in place. Katie couldn’t hear anything but her heartbeat in her ears. Fear had taken her over, past memories had her rendered solid. “Move… Move…” She grit her teeth, trying to tear her gaze from Travis who was now in a fist fight with Jonathan. “MOVE!!” She shut her eyes, slipping a bit before taking off into a sprint and dodging the grasp of Travis’s goons. Katie saw an opportunity with the courtyard to give her some coverage and sharply turned into the garden. “Remember your training, come on!!” She muttered quietly, fishing her pocket knife out of her boot she wore. Her hands shook as she unsheathed it, heart racing as she prepared herself to fight for her life.

#the night manager #the night manager canon divergence #flowers in blood #jonathan pine x ofc #tw: abuse #tom hiddleston #my writing #writing #fanfic

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jumnthepurestbean · 5 years

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Aahdfl your posts are super cute!!! Can I request the RFA+Saeran/V/Vanderwood (if you can) meeting MC's very big and equally overwhelmingly loving family because I need family fluff in my life and some of these people need in-laws to adopt them

asdfksdjflsd when I saw this ask I literally had to get out of bed and go get my lap top to answer it. I’ve been coming back to this ask all day, so it’s really long but I love it. Thank you so, so much for this idea!

RFA+Saeran+V+Vanderwood x MC with Large Loving Family

Jumin

Okay so Jumin Han is already such a family man

He’s the dad of the RFA

So when he discovers that MC has such a large family is pleasantly surprised.

Now that MC is in is life, he considers MC’s family his family.

He’s excited at the prospect of having so many people that matter to MC

He first meets MC’s parents and is expects them to like him (who wouldn’t want their child to marry someone like Jumin Han?) but he didn’t expect them to love him so much.

Immediately they’re so loving. “Jumin we’ve heard so much about you! We’re so excited to finally meet you!” and they’re inviting him to family outings.

Which he wants nothing more. Even if it’s MC’s second cousin’s soccer game DANG IT HE WILL TAKE OFF WORK TO GO SEE THAT!

The first time he meets everyone is probably at one of MC’s family reunions

He’s never felt like he comes into a place and is immediately accepted.

People are genuinely interested on what he has to say

Let me just say that Jumin loves his father and no one could ever replace Chairman Han

They understand each other on a different level and Chairman Han has provided him nothing but unconditional love

But damn it’s nice to have some normal family love.He will get to know every person in MC’s family.

He has a calendar for their birthdays, special events and anything else he plans to attend

Yoosung

Okay so at first Yoosung is nervous

Meeting his girlfriend’s parents is another thing but she has a lot of siblings???

Deep concern

MC’s father invites Yoosung to dinner so they can meet.

NERVOUSNESS INTENSIFIES

But when he walks in the door he hears “IT’S YOOSUNG!”

A bunch of little kids of various ages come running in and look at him.He blinks as he’s getting all the attention and is pulled into the house by them.

MC is the oldest sibling so her bringing over a boyfriend who wants to be a vet and likes playing video games is so cool

This really boosts up his confidence

Plus he’s not the shortest person! Yay!

He meets MC’s father who has a toddler on his hip but smiles kindly to Yoosung

It becomes very obvious that a mother is not in the picture.While MC and Yoosung are alone doing the dishes (Yoosung insisted! Despite the fact that he rarely does his own dishes but shhhhh)

He wants to ask and MC can tell

“My mom passed away a few years ago.”

Yoosung nearly dropped his plate he was cleaning “MC I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, Yoosung. It hurts but I still have everyone. And you.”Yoosung keeps it together and kisses MC’s forehead

But when he gets back to his apartment HE CALLS HIS MOM AND TELLS HER HOW MUCH HE LOVES HER DANG IT

Zen

“Zenny, how many tickets could you get me for your next show?”

Zen lazily puts his arm around MC “Probably 3 or 4. Why?”

“My parents really want to come to your next show and I think it would be a good way to meet you.”

Zen raises an eyebrow, “Oh really? I’ll see what I can do.”

Zen is pretending to be super calm and chill but oh god this makes him nervous as all hell.

He’s going to have to perform knowing that MC’s parents are in the audience.

No pressure...

The night comes out and he tries to peek around the curtain to see if he can see MC or her parents but with no luck.

He calms himself down but looking at picture of MC on his phone. He is going to be as amazing as he always is.

He of course performs wonderfully

When he goes for the curtain call he hears a lot more applause. Which isn’t too strange because he has many fans that love his performances but this seems more eager.

When he finishes and goes to the lobby to find MC he find her parents with flowers.

They then go on about how amazing he was in the performance. They’re so excited he can barely get a word in. There’s so much praise he starts blushing.What on earth was nervous about???

They go out to dinner and after MC’s parents calmed down (”Mom, dad! Please let Zen say something”) he realizes how great they are.

Also MC has a bunch of siblings? He’s going to have invite them all to his next performance.

After the night dies down and MC and Zen are cuddled up in the bed he thinks about the events of the night.

“Hyun, why are you crying?”

Zen blinks and wipes at his face. He gives a shrug and smiles. “I’m just happy.”

Jaehee

K so I actually have an OC that I’ve been wanting to match with Jaehee specifically because she has a giant family and let’s be real that’s what Jaehee needs.

So this response is based a bit off what I imagine Jaehee and my OC’s relationship.

The first time she is introduced to MC’s family she is pretty stiff and very formal

MC’s parents try to get her out of her shell and be the woman that MC has told them so much about but Jaehee just isn’t having any of it.MC knows what happened to Jaehee’s family and all the hurt she’s suffered.

“How about I invite my parents to the cafe?”

“The cafe??”

“Yeah, it’ll be fun. Especially if my brothers and sisters come. They’re kids, they love sweets.”

It takes some convincing but Jaehee finally decides that it would be a good idea.

They pick a day that’s slow so Jaehee and MC can have time socialize without ignoring any regular costumers.

Jaehee is still working on the sweets when MC’s family comes in. She knew that MC had a lot of siblings but it was starting to get a little overwhelming.

MC gently puts a hand on Jaehee’s shoulder and introduces her to her siblings.

They all excitedly watch her finish up the sweets which puts pressure on her.But once she gets into the groove of making her sweets, she starts to relax a little.

Her anxiety spikes when she actually has to give them

But once she sees that they love them, it makes her relax so much more.

She may tear up a little when MC’s parents say how proud they are of her for following her dreams and creating such a successful business

But the true turning point where Jaehee finally lets herself be herself with MC’s family is around Christmas time.

Each year MC’s family get dressed in horrible Christmas sweaters and take a family photo. Jaehee goes over to Christmas but is fully prepare to watch on the sidelines until she receives an ugly sweater and is in the picture.

Ahhh my heart

Seven

Tries to avoid meeting MC’s family

He knew because of his research that she had a large family

And he already didn’t want to bring MC into this life of danger

So now bringing so many people into his life was really hard for him

MC finally explains to him the part he didn’t know about her life.Her parents are actually her foster parents

She talks about how she bounced around from foster home to foster home. Always getting in trouble and being so angry at the world for the cards she was delt

But then she landed with her foster family. They worked with her and gave her the love that she needed

That gets him to agree to at least meet her parents.

Once meeting them he can understand how they could have done what they did for MC

They’re so kind and patient.

At first Seven is trying to be his old jokey self as a defense mechanism

They’re not annoyed or anything they’re just patient with him

In the end he’s so happy that MC had this life

And maybe he could have that life too

Saeran

Nervous wreck

Does everything he can to avoid meeting MC’s family.

He really worries that he’s not good enough for MC

So MC starts out with baby steps...or in the case toddler steps!

She first introduces Saeran to one of her younger siblings

At first he’s still nervous but he handles being around children a little bit easier

They walk around Saeran’s garden to make him even more comfortable.

At some point MC’s sibling toddles up to him and offers him a flower they plucked out of the earth.

It still has roots and is dirty but it’s one of the best gifts he’s ever received.

Bends down and thanks them and then explains to the toddler what the flower means.

The toddler doesn’t understand but that’s okay.

Slowly Saeran works up the courage to finally meet MC’s parents.

MC asks if he wants to them in the garden but he says no he’s going to meet them for dinner.He works very hard to prepare dinner with MC (she helped him learned some cooking skills and he’s gotten pretty good!)

He’s still a nervous wreck and nearly has panic attacks on multiple occasions but knows that this will make MC happy so he’s going to do it.

MC had told her parents a little bit about Saeran and they know to be very patient with him

Not they aren’t already but they just know a little bit as to what to expect.

He’s quiet at first but eventually he starts to open them up.After a really long time of healing Saeran is so grateful to have MC’s parents and siblings in general.

V agrees to meet MC’s parents but like Jaehee he is very formal and almost stiff

He’s not rude or anything but it’s clear he’s keeping his distance

This is due to a variety of reasons

First, MC’s parents’s opinion of him is very important. He does not want to mess that up and he honestly wouldn’t know what to do if they had a negative opinion of him. So there’s that.

Plus, he still struggles with opening up to people.He is getting better at that and not keeping all his secrets to himself but MC’s family is not someone he wants to make a bad impression on.This goes on for a while of V being pleasant but keeping a distance

That is until the idea of MC’s parents going to one of his photo galleries

He agrees but is unsure internally

When MC’s parents see his photos they are absolutely blown away. Their positive reaction makes V open up just a bit more.It is clear to MC’s family that V has a lot of his own baggage.

At one point, when MC’s mother is able to have a moment alone with her she asks. “Do you worry about hurting people?”

V is taken aback by the question. He thinks about it for a moment and then nods. “Yes.”

“Jihyun, do you know what I think hurts people more than sharing burdens?”

V shook his head.

“Knowing that someone you love has a burden but they feel like they can’t share it with you.”

K.O.

He may not ever tell his secrets to MC’s family (and that’s okay with them) but he does let his own personality shine through and eventually creates a great relationship with MC and her family.

Vanderwood

At first is completely against meeting MC’s parents.

He is still use to the agency rules of not having a family

He barely wanted to bring MC into all of it, let alone her family

Too many risks

“Vanderwood, you aren’t in the agency anymore. You can have a new life.”

But after a long time he finally decides to go to their house for dinnerIs shook when he sees how many siblings MC has

How does MC keep track of them all???

But amazingly the house is so clean.

How the heck is Seven so dirty but there’s a dozen people in this house and it’s spotless???

Immediately the kiddos want to play with Vanderwood’s cape/jacket/thing

“Whoa that’s such a cool pattern!” “I want one!” “Can I try it on???”

“Um...okay?” He puts it on one and it’s so big.

When MC’s parents come out they burst out laughing see the young child wander around in the oversize article of clothing

After an evening at MC’s place he realizes how much he missed these types of connections.

He really enjoys himself.

On the way back, Vanderwood quietly takes MC’s hand. “Maybe...maybe I could get Seven to find my family.”

MC squeezes his hand back. “I think that’s a great idea.

If you’re feeling generous then go over to my ko-fi!

#Jumin Han #Yoosung Kim #jaehee kang #Hyun Ryu #saeyoung choi #saeran choi #jihyun kim #Vanderwood #mystic messenger #mysme

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foxymuses · 4 years

Text

on the topic of rk900 && his ‘deviancy’

the way that i write rk900 to be is very specific, and it includes a lot, which i will? try to explain? as best i can? please feel free to ask clarifying questions though like i have so much to say about this and im sure i’ll miss something. anyway imma shove this under a cut because i KNOW im about to just fucking go.

so i wanna make it very clear from the get go that 900 is not deviant in the typical fashion. he does not believe that he is a free being with actual emotions and rights to live. there is never a moment where he stops and goes ‘oh shit’ and breaks through that red tape. he never has an ‘i may be deviant’ breakdown. he is not deviant.

however, he is not not-deviant.

what i mean by this is kind of complicated. let me start with some background into my personal interpretation of the rk900 series in general. they are a series designed for warfare -- the majority of them have been shipped overseas with soldiers to act as a variety of things: weapons, infiltration, an inhuman line of defense to protect the human soldiers --- like. they were specifically designed to be killers, to be dangerous, to be pretty damn hard to stop. they are essentially top of the line terminators -- are they entirely legal? ehhhhhh. but they let the government get away with things that might either kill their human soldiers or are of questionable ethic that they can just.... decommission the android afterwards. that’s their main function, the main reason they exist.

this is crucial, and i will explain more on it in a moment, but for the rest of this meta i’m going to be using rk900 to talk of the general model series, and 900 to speak specifically to mine (and, in a lesser way, the fandom one in general, though this should go without saying i don’t intend to infringe upon other personal headcanons of rk900 writers)

connor was the rk ‘law enforcement’ prototype, but he also functioned mainly as a playing piece in an android revolution that, let’s face it, cyberlife saw coming a mile away. cyberlife wanted a say. they wanted to have a semblance of control over how to twist the uprising in a way that benefit them. given 900 comes about in a world where the revolution was quelled, cyberlife basically achieved their goal (i’ll touch upon my meta of my machine connor and this in another post).

the reason this is important is because 900 was implanted with the majority of observations and experiences that connor had. things he learned about humanity, how to mimic it, how to manipulate it, how to use it. things like the events of the revolution in the order they happened, what it was like to be a detective with the dpd, literally like. all the things that connor went through or observed or scanned or downloaded or learned -- these were uploaded into 900.

now, his memories weren’t necessarily input into 900 -- that is, 900 doesn’t have any first hand accounts of most things (from petting sumo all the way to connor ending the revolution). so even if he has an understanding of what being on a case is like, he doesn’t have connor’s exact memories of doing it. it’s more like all of these things have been converted into data for him to retrieve -- it’s been shifted into facts, statements, articles, serving more as.... general history knowledge? like that stuff everyone just knows for some reason?

but it’s more in depth than that because, yknow, they intended for 900 to be top of the line (yes, 900, not rk900). so all this information from connor was used to boost the insanely vast amounts of knowledge that they input into 900 to begin with -- it was used as contextual information, filler information, you get me? because the main thing that differed between connor and 900 is that 900 was given all the knowledge he needed before he was released, where as connor was expected to observe and adapt. cyberlife took connor’s methods of observing and interacting and adapting to humanity and refined it so that 900 already had that information.

so when 900 was officially done, he had basically anything he might need to know in his software already. he didn’t need to learn anything.

so let me backtrack a little bit into why i say 900 gets these things and not all the rk900s.

like i said before, the rk900s were built for warfare. 900 was not. i mean, yes, his model and abilities are all the same, he is still an rk900 model. but he was not built to go to war. the 900 that connor meets in the zen garden is the same 900 i write. that particular rk900 model, 900, was specifically designed to replace connor. the others were mass produced for their purpose as war based androids. but 900 was made to work for the DPD, to sort of take connor’s place, in part because it gives them access to local law, but also because they want to monitor the place where connor was assigned.

so because of this 900 does not have a purpose.

he was not developed with any specific goal or mission or duty aside from ‘work with the dpd’, so he doesn’t have the same goal set that the rk900 models are programmed with. cyberlife essentially input all this data into 900, and then didn’t tell him what to do with it aside from ‘just go to this location’ which means that 900 had to figure it out for himself.

this is where cyberlife fucked up big time.

the other rk900 models are designed to be perfect soldiers -- deviancy was basically coded out of them based on connor’s experience (whether or not he went deviant, it was in his code). thats not to say that they can never go deviant, its just to say it would be really fucking hard to make them do that.��

since 900 has none of that, he is inherently different from the rk900 model. when you make an android without a purpose, you have basically created a deviant android from the get go. 900 is more or less his own model, in which there is only one 900, and by default, he works for the Detroit Police Department.

now, generally, this means he’s paired with gavin (gotta live up to that delicious ship, honestly) so a lot of my following nonsense is stemmed from that but the point is that, he gets to decide what his goal is whenever he wants, so it can change, and it does change, and the choice is entirely his own. by all intents and purposes, cyberlife inadvertently created an android with honest to god free will.

so where does this leave us with deviancy? because i can hear ya’ll but fox, you said he wasn’t deviant and now you’re saying he is which is it?

here’s what makes 900, well, 900. as part of the fact that he is so incredibly self-aware, he knows he’s a machine. he accepts he’s a machine. there isn’t any like -- ‘i’m a machine’ with a touch of sadness or regret. he doesn’t wish to be human -- he has no desire to feel or experience human things, or do whatever deviant androids wanted. he doesn’t care about that. it doesn’t interest him in the slightest. and this isn’t because he doesn’t know about feelings or that “how could he know if he doesn’t want them if he hasn’t experienced them” because it’s not like that. 900 has an incredible sense of what things are, what they’d be like -- he got all of this from connor, remember. so 900 isn’t inherently interested in being anything other than a machine, and he holds no misunderstandings about what being a machine entails either.

does that make sense? hold on let me try it this way. because cyberlife tried so hard to make sure that 900′s software had everything, they created an incredibly self-aware android that doesn’t seek humanity because of how well they understand life. 900 doesn’t like or dislike being an android -- he just is. he recognizes that. wanting to be something else doesn’t... compute because it just doesn’t make sense. like why would he want to be human when he’s not? when he can be better and do more? like i can’t even say he’s happy about it because he doesn’t (at first) associate chemical reactions in his system with being emotions because they aren’t. it’s all synthetic.

he is perhaps the most alive an android can get without being alive, honestly.

900 decides that, upon being assigned to work with gavin, that gavin is technically his mission now. as a partner to a detective, but as a partner that is stronger, faster, and can withstand immense damage, he essentially positions himself as a bodyguard for the human. the problem here is that, due to his awareness, his approach to this is.... unorthodox.

900 will let gavin throw a punch at someone who can and will definitely hit back, but he’ll stop gavin from walking into an ambush. he might get gavin a coffee one day without being asked, but then throw the coffee at him the next day when gavin demands one. he has a habit of making sly comments and is known to push buttons and see what he can get away with, testing limits and constantly pressing against the boundaries of what he can do before someone snaps, and then sees if he can go just a little farther.

900 is very much his own person. he belongs to neither cyberlife nor DPD. he does what he wants when he wants it and how he wants it, and he can, at times, appear very human (albeit one that is obnoxious and at times infuriating). however 900 never lets it be forgotten that he is a machine. he can crush every bone in your body one by one while you’re helpless to it. he can have expressions that are near-humanlike : amused, angry, exasperated. but he will go from lightly smiling to fucking cold eyes and danger just radiating off of him to the point people will actually feel the room lower a few degrees

900 knows he’s a machine. if you even for a moment forget, he will remind you. he has unethically tortured suspects for information, they purposely don’t give 900 a gun at the start because he would get bored and simply shoot whoever they’re investigating and apologize later. he has no qualms about killing, about breaking laws or faces, about doing things the way that he feels like doing them, with or without anyone approving. and if anyone thinks they can stop him, they’re just. good fucking luck.

but the reason he doesn’t do any of this is because he is self-aware enough to know there’s no fucking point to it. his mission is, as he decides, “protect gavin reed” and he will do what it takes for that, which may include punching a suspect or stealing evidence or something, he doesn’t care, but if it serves no true purpose in what 900 is doing, then he consciously decides he’s not going to just.. do it. but the thing is that at any moment he could decide to change his mind. and that’s what makes him so terrifying. he is literally unpredictable.

i ... okay i think that’s what i wanted to say? just as like some added notes, but with gavin, 900 does become.... hmm... softer? he doesn’t soften but he basically claims gavin as his own, like he is assigned to be gavin’s partner but it becomes literally almost a possessive thing. 900 makes gavin his mission, and if anyone gets in the way, they’re fucked. but by attaching himself to a human, he opens himself up to the softer side of being human, so 900 never truly ‘becomes deviant’ because there is never, as i said, a moment where he’s got a red wall that says this isn’t protocol becaaaause he doesn’t have protocol. so there’s never a chance for him to break through it. but he takes care of his partner, makes sure gavin is eating well and sleeping well, makes sure he’s more or less safe, is always in tuned to where gavin is and what gavin is doing, will step in at a moment’s notice if he feels the need.

it becomes way more.... well, more, if this is a ship with a gavin, but regardless, 900 will have a gentler approach to his interactions with the human he has claimed that will be noticeable. softer tones, less cold eyes, more considerate touches. he’ll listen to gavin (may not always follow directions, but he listens), he’ll defend gavin’s actions, he’ll get angry if something happens to gavin. 900 never explicitly goes deviant, and he never fully accepts that what he feels is.... a real feeling? because he does not fully believe that androids can experience true emotion, so even if he does get angry, or he does feel amused or happy or whatever, it’s based on an extensively coded software that has made him so perfectly able to mimic humanity that it’s basically indecipherable. yes, he cares about gavin in most cases. yes he can feel panic or worry if something happens. but in general, no. he will not feel fear, he is not concerned with death, he can’t experience pain... so.

a last note is that like. this is the reason that he goes by 900. gavin typically calls him ‘nines’ which is only allowed for gavin. but a name is a human thing, and 900 is not and has no desire to be, so he just uses 900. most other people in the DPD also just use 900, sometimes they’ll call him rk which he’s okay with but it’s not his preference. he would’ve allowed gavin to name him if he wanted to but gavin didn’t, so that’s why when gavin begins using nines, that’s what 900 assumes as a name. 900 is comfortable to him, it’s who he is, and he doesn’t desire more than that.

alright i’m. i’m probably gonna start getting repetitive soon, and a lot of the rest of the emotional aspect is based on 900 being involved with gavin, and thats case by case so it’s can be subject to change, and this post is meant to serve as a general basis for my portrayal of 900.

#jesus i knew this would get long #I STILL DONT FEEL LIKE I SAID IT ALL #;;rk900canon #anyway if you actually fucking read that whole thing good lord

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ruensroad · 4 years

Text

a little nudge in the right direction (tiger!Xicheng AU)

Welp, decided to write something for the Big Cat AU in the end. You can all blame @haesomw for letting me gush about this AU in the chatbox, which inspired me. <3

---

In the weeks that Jiang Cheng had been forced to remain with the odd Lan tigers, he couldn’t help but come to the conclusion that they were all slightly crazy. Meditation instead of naps, which was appalling. No hunting, only fishing, which was fine in some aspects - Jiang Cheng was a great fisherman, after all, so he could respect that skill - but refraining from any other meat? How could they eat fish daily and not go mad?

They didn’t play, they didn’t run around. They were the most zen tigers Jiang Cheng had ever been around, and given he was one of their own kind - albeit not the snowy white of their hide - it was off-putting to say the least. He was used to open affection, rough housing, hunting with his family. He was used to being loud and hard work, not the often silent and delicate past times that carried the Lan through the day to day.

Ridiculous, the lot of them, though Jiang Cheng found himself almost fond of the odd shifters. He’d been taught to respect the traditions of all his neighbors, no matter how strange, because if it was strange to him, his own way of life was just as strange - if not stranger - to them in turn. But respect or not, it was not the adults that drew him in first. It was the cubs.

Perhaps it said too much about himself that he got along better with the kids. Definitely said enough about the company he was used to (looking at you, Wei Wuxian). They still were too quiet, too tame, but the childish delight and curiosity seemed universal. By the second week, when he’d ignored his bed rest orders to venture to a stream and fish, he’d been adopted by a gaggle of wide-eyed cubs and become something of a fishing god to them in the hours he was down there. Now, he could hardly venture anywhere outside without at least a dozen curious chirps following in his wake. Damn his cute nephew for making him so soft. One look at their eager faces and he was helpless to resist.

And it was hardly better, worse even, when it came to Lan Xichen.

He’d saved Jiang Cheng’s life, to start, and that was the beginning of all his problems. Because Lan Xichen was perfection personified in all respects. He was kind and gentle and far too understanding. But his body language was all wrong for what Jiang Cheng knew as tiger (and even in their human forms he was lost in trying to read the man), utterly foreign and reserved. Jiang Cheng always felt out of step with the other whenever they walked together in Lan Xichen’s private gardens, testing his healing wounds. He knew how his family showed gratitude, but had no idea how it was shown in Lan Xichen’s world. And just saying the words thank you didn’t seem adequate.

Because of Lan Xichen, he could see his family again. Because of Lan Xichen, he had a second chance to live. It was no small thing and Jiang Cheng practically buzzed with all the things he wanted to do to show it, but couldn’t, or didn’t know how to.

He caved three weeks in, when his back leg finally bore his full weight with only a limp to showcase it’d been broken. Jiang Cheng felt the relief so heady, a rush of joy that he could actually go home, that the weeks of bed rest and pain were worth it, and just… bumped his head to Lan Xichen’s in thanks. It was all he could do, what he would do with his sister, or brother, or any member of the Jiang clan, and an appreciation of cultures went both ways, right? Surely Lan Xichen would understand that.

Forehead to forehead, a gentle press. There and done. He felt immediately better and moved off again, pleased with his progress in healing, and had made it nearly five steps before he realized his error.

Lan Xichen was blinking at him rapidly, looking stunned, like Jiang Cheng had swatted him, not bumped him in thanks. Jiang Cheng stopped in turn, turned, and tilted his head in question, not understanding such a reaction.

Was it really so strange what he’d done? “What’s wrong?” he asked, a drip of panic kicking up his heart rate.

“You just…” Lan Xichen shook himself off, but still had a rather dazed expression. “What was that?”

“What?” Jiang Cheng’s ears went back and his tail tucked in, uncertain now, and knew he’d greatly miscalculated. “I... I messed up, didn’t I?”

“No, no!” Lan Xichen, far too good for anyone to deserve, quickly trotted over with a sweet face, but kept that usual distance between them that was his own normal. Jiang Cheng did his best not to panic further, seeing that. “Sorry, you caught me off guard. Just because that is not what I am used to doesn’t mean it’s a wrong thing. You were just saying thank you, weren’t you?”

Jiang Cheng nodded, ready to run away at the slightest provocation, and Lan Xichen chuffed a little, eyes crinkled into squinty half moons. Fuck, but that did things to his heart. Shit.

And then, hesitantly, Lan Xichen stepped in and… bumped him back. Forehead to forehead, a gentle press. There and done, though Jiang Cheng could not help but shiver to feel it. For some reason, Lan Xichen made it feel far more significant than a familiar motion and he didn’t understand why Lan Xichen looked so tender in doing so, like he too was taking more from this show of affection than it really merited.

The thought he’d just missed something crucial was starting to itch at the base of his tail. It curled immediately.

“You’re welcome, Jiang Wanyin,” Lan Xichen told him, voice soft and low and terribly sweet. Jiang Cheng blinked at him, slower than he’d meant, and got a smile from the white tiger for it that made him want to melt where he stood.

Who knew falling from a waterfall trying to save a cub would lead him to such a place and to a proper angel? Jiang Cheng licked his lips, unsure how much he could push, or what he was missing, but returned the nudge all the same.

One thing was for certain, he thought, helpless to the way Lan Xichen’s smile was turning his insides to mush. Wei Wuxian could never know about this. Ever.

#ruenwrites #big cat au #xicheng #lan xichen #jiang cheng #i have so much world building for this au it's awful

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ireallyjustneedcoffee · 5 years

Text

Domestic Mysme headcanons

Yoosung: 💚

Cleaning the apartment + cuddles

You two have certain days throughout the week that you guys designate to cleaning the apartment

Surprisingly it was Yoosung’s idea

There’s always a candle lit at the end to finalize all cleaning

You two crank up the music (but not too loud because neighbors are a thing), bust out the cleaning supplies, then it’s go time

During the little breaks you catch him playing his game and have to manhandle him away from his computer

“There’s not even that many chores left!” You whines but Yoosung was adamant and would only leave his computer chair in exchange for..kisses

In which you happily supply them

While cleaning the two of you would quickly peck the other’s cheek for each chore they got done

“Give me more kisses (y/n)! “ “you got (1) chore done!”

Once you finish cleaning, he’s cuddling into your side while you hold him to your chest

Won’t admit it but loves that position with all of his heart

Bonus exp: run your hands through his hair or just pet him

Cuddle sessions after cleaning usually ends up being nap time

The two of you make sure to clean yourselves up before each cuddle

You actually join him in the shower so you can hurry up and cuddle

These aren’t his favorite days but he does love cleaning if it’s with you

Zen: 🖤

Getting ready + Visiting work

He always has a morning pep talk ,always, but he became flustered when you quipped into one he had

“Alright Zen..” he would start “you are one HUNK of a man!” You would yell from the bedroom

Since then he always looks for your little sassy/snide/encouraging comments

The one time you brushed and styled his hair, he was surprised at how well it turned out

“Oh wow babe..you did better than I usually do! You might have to start brushing my hair for me.” He would flirt

He always comes to you for outfit opinions

Values your opinion about what he looks good in

Even lets you choose his outfits sometimes

Brushing your teeth together and you guys just bump hips

Him laughing at the toothpaste being all over your face

You laughing at his face when he accidentally drank the mouthwash like a shot

Him singing in the shower and you joining in as you’re washing your face

Always appreciates you visiting him at work

If you tell him that you’re visiting before he leaves, he’s always waiting in anticipation

Bonus: if you bring him a meal and force him to take a break because you know he likes to overwork himself

While you’re at his job, he always shows you off to the directors and his coworkers

If you’re in the same career as him, he’ll recommend you and boast about your skills

The staff knows so much about you from Zen talking about you so much

If you decide to bring food up for the staff then they will all adore you

This makes Zen slightly jealous because they’re getting too close but he’s also proud to call you his like “Oh yeah (y/n) is so lovely and has such a sweet soul, you can practically see why we’re so perfect together”

Jumin: 💜

Morning prep + breakfast

Getting out of Jumin’s bed is a chore especially if he’s still asleep and has his arm around you

Even if he isn’t still in bed, those covers and that mattress feels like heaven

Elly curled up on you feels really comfortable and she’s warm

You always button up his shirt and fix his tie

Once you finish you pat his chest and he gives you a little smooch as thanks

You also pick the tie he’s going to wear each morning

Comfortable silence always feels the air but when he sees you in the morning there’s nothing but adoration in his eyes

Sometimes the both of you watch the sunrise over the city skyline from his living room

He likes to try and do your hair in the morning

Putting it in some fancy braid, putting edge control on your edges

Or if you’re not going anywhere he’ll fix up your scarf/bonnet so it doesn’t slip off of your head

You two always fix Elizabeth’s breakfast before your own

Gotta feed the child first

You usually get his lunch fixed in the morning so when breakfast is finished he can take it

He loves fixing you breakfast so when he does cook in the mornings you’re usually hovering in the kitchen (sitting on the counter, looking through the fridge, etc)

Jaehee: 💛

A normal day at the bakery + Baehee

You two alternate who bakes in the morning and who straightens up the bakery weekly

Setting out the food and desserts and trying not to eat any

Jaehee scolding you but still making you something small to eat as a snack

You making coffee everyday for Jaehee right before the shop opens

You’re always rewarded a kiss as thanks

The both of you make little snacks for the staff, to make sure they eat before the day starts

You two accidentally being called Mom/Dad by some of the younger staff

When it isn’t busy Jaehee makes sure the younger employees get any homework they need to done

Any of the food you make for Jaehee, you kiss it so she knows it’s made with love

You two visit other cafes and high end bakeries to see what would be good to add onto your little cafe

“I really like the tiramisu with espresso whipped icing, what do you think (y/n)?” “I think I love you Jaehee..” “Well I would sure hope so (y/n)”

When it’s almost time to close, you would flirt with Jaehee and she would play along

“May I take your order?” “Yes, can I get a makeout session and maybe a side cuddles and kisses please?” “Coming right up, dear!”

Spoiler: You lean over the counter and peck her lips

Closing time is when you blast the music and have fun cleaning

Blasting music from Zen’s musicals will get you a singing Jaehee and her voice is soooooo good, it reminds you of honey

Blasting some old kpop songs would get you and Jaehee both trying to remember the dances and laughing when you can’t

V: 💙

Grocery shopping + cooking together

V still loves to hold your hand as you walk in the grocery store

A habit you grew when he used to have bad eyesight and you would grocery shop with him

Having a shopping list of things you need to get but completely forgetting it at home

“It was just in my hand”

Him finding a recipe he wants you to try so you two decide to get the ingredients and cook it later

Making him reach for things on the tall shelves

Watching his back muscles even if they’re faint they’re still there

Once you’re back home you start putting away the groceries as V gets out everything you need for the new recipe

“We didn’t forget anything did we?” “If we did, we can improvise”

As you’re cooking he would take a break from cutting vegetables to give you a back hug and a kiss on the head

V just gazing lovingly at you as you cook and then runs to go grab his camera

Snapping pictures of you cooking and you doing the same to him while he cooks

Taking pictures of the food you made once it’s finished

Saeran: 💗

Gardening together + bathing

Gardening is the only thing you can get Saeran up for

Any other time it’s a nightmare trying to get him up, more so because you don’t want to disturb his sleep and it’s also because he looks so peaceful when he sleeps and AND-

Yeah

Spraying yourselves with the hose to cool down

Saeran taking off his shirt and you getting flustered

“I see you looking pervert” he’d tease as you vehemently deny his accusations

Getting excited looking at your growing plants

You named all of your plants to make them feel special

Saeran cupping your cheek and wiping some of the dirt off of you

Which only gets more dirt on you but it’s the thought behind it

You set up the bath with bath bombs, candles, and muscle relaxer

He gets the clothes and bed set up so you two can CRASH once you’re finished

This is pretty much routine

You giving him a massage while he hums a low lullaby

Melting at his voice because damn

Him helping wash your hair and silently asking you to wash his because the way you massage his scalp is so relaxing

Having nice, long deep conversations about life and the future

Sharing long tender kisses

“I’m glad that you’re here to help me get better (y/n)...”

Saeyoung: 💖

Washing one of his cars + repairs

Saeyoung coming out with fresh lemonade as you determine what’s wrong with his car

“The engine...is doing a thing” “Well that’s awfully specific (y/n)”

Handing him every tool that he needs

You learned that he named all of his tools

“I need Marie” “WHOM???” “....aaaah I meant the wrench”

You almost decked him

Gushing about how he’s a cute little mechanic with the oil on his cheek and everything

He’s got everything you’ll ever need to wash the interior, body, and tires of his favourite car

Even the little vacuum

Spraying each other with the hose and it turning into a water fight

“Oh you’ve done it now (y/n)!!”

Cooling off from the heat by sitting in the car with the AC on blast

The music is also on blast and you two always sing along

Arguing over who cleans the tires because it’s hot and do the tires really need cleaning?

You both just end up cleaning the tires anyway

Makingout in the backseat of his car

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bigskydreaming · 4 years

Note

What kind of house/apt do adult successful Scanny have?

I think it would be something smallish and unassuming on the outside, very approachable. Maybe even like, a townhome or a duplex or something like that, depending on what city Scott ultimately settles in with whatever pack he builds up around him there vs whomever stays in Beacon Hills.

I don’t have any specific headcanons for where Scott relocates to, its just very important to me that he does, because like. He deserves to get far, far away from Beacon Hills. There are too many bad memories there. Its where he died. Its where Allison died, Boyd, Erica. Like, all the bad things that linger with Scott came from Beacon Hills and that damn evil attention-seeking tree stump, and all the good things that linger with Scott are one hundred percent the product of his own actions and the relationships he fostered with the people that became important to him.

There’s nothing in Beacon Hills that gives Scott anything he doesn’t already have by this point, no reason for him to stay other than his mother, who can literally just move as well. But not with Chris Argent. On account of like, well he died too. It was very sad and tragic, I don’t want to talk about it. Tears were shed, its all still really fresh and raw, we should probably just move on. Its what he would want. Probably. Also who cares, ding dong he’s dead and Melissa’s married to some nice doctor who’s never pulled a gun on her son, as well as possessing other qualities that meet somewhat higher standards, I’m sure.

Anyway. We were talking about Scott saying hasta la vista baby to Beacon Hills followed then by a slow motion dramatic walkaway shot before he gets on his motorcycle, adjusts his mirrors, revs the throttle all action movie star-esque, and also sexily - look, they’re not always automatically the same thing - and then he drives away forever from that toxic cesspit of a homicidal zipcode where square footage is calculated in terms of dead bodies. Leaving behind all the like, million and one reasons for him to say Bye Beacon Hills, see you never, try not to become a central locus for evil, but also, I don’t care if you do, it is hashtag NotMyResponsibilityAnymore. But also, I mean. It never was. Just FYI.

And then he flips the town off and accelerates off into the sunset while the town eats his dust, and admittedly Scott isn’t really the type to throw around middle fingers even where deserved, but fuck it, I’m projecting onto him and its my headcanon and I say that pile of excrement in real estate form needs to be flipped off and also, like. Its just an aesthetic thing. For the visuals. Its the whole dramatic end scene, roll credits, “I came, I saw and I blew shit up and now I’m off to reunite with my love interest and have vigorous victory sex” vibe. You get it.

So they relocate somewhere, wherever that is. I honestly don’t care, so long as its nice and doesn’t murder them or inflict gratuitous bodily harm every week and the nearest Satanic foliage is at least two statelines away. Preferably with a thriving supernatural community where Scott and his pack can all feel welcome and like they belong, rather than outsiders eternally hiding in plain sight among potential enemies. Like, somewhere where their neighbors are all vampires and Fae and other supernaturals, but only so long as like, the only reason they ever come over is to borrow a cup of sugar. Never to betray them to randomly resurrected enemies or guilt trip them into solving someone else’s centuries old and completely pointless grudgematch of Unnecessary Drama and Also Doom.

And wherever it is, the pack have their own dwellings and much needed privacy. Far enough apart that even supernatural hearing and smell don’t have them all playing Peeping Tom whether they like it or not, every time a couple wants to get frisky, but close enough together that they’re all still together, and know that more pack, more community, is always just a short walk away.

Scott and Danny’s place is some sort of small but cozy townhome or duplex or something like that, as I said. Scott’s always very aware of his presence and reputation and the power he both commands and also is afforded by peoples’ embellished expectations regarding him. So it was really important to Scott, and thus important to Danny, that their home be unpretentious. Inviting and approachable and not ‘above’ anyone else, or trying to be. Somewhere that when you got to their street and checked the address if you’re new in town and looking for an audience with True Alpha Scott McCall, you stop and do a double take and almost have to revise whatever preconceptions you have, or at least put them on hold, because like…this is where the famous True Alpha lives? Its so…ordinary.

But that’s the point after all….because the more he was looked at as standing apart from all others, the more ‘ordinary’ became the only thing Scott’s really ever aspired to be.

So its not poor, by any means. They do well for themselves, the whole pack, like you said, Scott and Danny are successful in this future. They have jobs that afford them both a sense of purpose and fulfillment of longheld interests, as well as the potential for discovering more, rather than getting locked into things that grow stale overtime as they outgrow fantasy careers that seemed more validating when they were kids dreaming of the future.

Also their jobs, whatever they might be, make them at least successful enough that it allows them both a large degree of autonomy. They can pick their own schedules, more or less. They have finances, but none that will be massively disrupted or stress-inducing if Scott has to take time off for a couple weeks to help a neighboring pack relocate somewhere new after they flee from hunters. Something where Scott’s never forced to choose between his job and keeping him and his pack financially afloat, versus someone needing his help and it not immediately apparent how long that might take resolve. The dream is stability and comfort, and enough personal agency for Scott in how and where he gets both of those, that he never feels like he’s letting down either his pack or innocents asking for his help, because the demands of his job or finances make him feel like it has to be one or the other, he can’t possibly do both.

Ideally, that flexible schedule means that when Scott isn’t helping others, something he now does by choice and simply because he wants to and he can, not because he’s made to feel he has to, like its his responsibility and his alone, because certain boundary-blind best friends have decided they want to play Peter Parker but are gonna need Scott to step up and play the actual Spider-Man part and lend his power even when someone else gets to decide for him when its his responsibility. Oopsie, I tripped and fell and my Bitter Resentment and Still Not Over It slipped out. Oh no. How terrible. Much woe.

Ahem. Anyway. As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted by myself, Scott’s flexible schedule means that when he’s not using it to help others, he has enough left over that he can afford (and justify to himself) using it for himself and his own personal enjoyment and interests, actually prioritize and commit to his own self-care, because a healthy, happy Alpha is a healthy, happy Pack. Someone said that once, probably. Probably not Hobbes. Definitely heard that somewhere though. Trust me, I’m a doctor.

So with the aid of this newfangled invention produced by cutting edge technology, this quote unquote “Free Time…” Scott explores other interests. His own. Le gasp, le shocking, le about the fuck time. He explores the novelty of being able to even have hobbies, because depressingly (why am I like this, science side of tumblr), there was once a time when Scott stopped bothering trying to figure out what all he was interested in, because he kinda assumed he’d be long dead before it ever had a chance to matter.

But by the power invested in me by Fuck You, Jeff Davis, in this future, none of that comes to pass. So free time and personal passions for Scott. He has them, in abundance. So like. He gardens, for sure. That’s why I specified a duplex or townhouse instead of an apartment in a complex or building….they live somewhere where they at least have their own garden or yard. Scott designs and implements it personally, something like his own personal Zen garden on a scale commensurate with What He Deserves. He goes outside whenever he’s starting to feel stressed about some obligation or commitment or another, and just….plays.

That’s what it is to him. He just plants things. Prunes things. Adds fountains or bird feeders or statuary, little personalized touches here and there that make his own personal territory uniquely his and his alone. Gardening in his yard is His Time in His Space, and all the pack know better than to interrupt him when he’s out in his yard working away, unless its an absolute emergency.

Danny enforces this with an iron fist and an ability to tank your credit score and spread all your most embarrassing pictures internet-wide with just a single keystroke. And Danny is the enforcer Scott doesn’t have to be. People forget that everyone loves Danny….but in no small part due to his usual proximity to Jackson. Next to Jackson, everyone looks like an angel. But Danny, on his own? Can be mean. Will be mean, if you touch or hurt or threaten or even just inconvenience his man, because like, who the fuck do you think you are and also it doesn’t even matter because he just replaced your whole identity online and if you’re nice and apologize and kiss ass without Scott ever having to know What You Almost Did, maybe Danny will have mercy on you and actually let you know what your new identity is, so you can use it to like, make a new life with the details he made up to replace your old personal info that no longer gets you anywhere.

Danny - that’s Miss Nasty if you mess with his husband - is chaotic neutral with an exception for “this is my list of special people. Touch any of them and my alignment is Chaotic Evil for however long as until I have personally escorted you to your Doom and physically kicked you into a bottomless pit where you will suffer for eternity.”

But then he smiles and charms everyone into only remembering lol oh yeah, everybody likes Danny, so that once again, everyone forgets that’s at least partially self-preservation because if you don’t love Danny and everyone Danny loves, like, you’re dumb and also screwed. Why are you bad at making good choices.

Don’t feel bad though. Danny’s very good at making people forget this part, t least until the next time he reminds people of that little piece of trivia. Have you seen him smile? Its like that flashing bulb thing Will Smith uses in Men in Black to make people forget what they just saw or were doing. Except without any supervision and/or morality because fuck your ethics, its Danny’s bewitching smile, he’ll use it however he wants. Get your own.

(The thing is, any best friend of Jackson has to have at least a little capacity for Evil. Danny just hides it well, thanks to the cloaking camouflage of Actually Having a Soul in Addition, and like, being a people person who actually understands how people work and how not to alienate them by being a total uncaring jackass 24/7. Its a fine line, except its really not, and Danny is very talented at all things and possesses an abundance of charm. Plus he’s just hot, and like. Let’s face it. That always helps. I mean, definitely never hurts).

The end result of all this tangent-having, is that Scott has enough him time and enough of a barrier from people constantly distracting him, that the exterior of Scott and Danny’s place, for all its otherwise ordinary appearance, Scott has over time turned into his own personal slice of paradise, and is exactly what that looks like to him.

See, the thing about Scott is no matter how hard he tries to be ordinary and value being just like everyone else and get lost in the crowd…..he never will quite manage it, because Scott just isn’t like anyone else. He’s good, in a way that too few people even aspire to be, because so many people just think its not possible. Especially not after having lived through the kinds of traumas Scott has, been dealt an especially unlucky hand. But Scott manages it anyway, in spite of everything, spiting every thing that tries to make him be anything lesser….and because of that, he’ll always stand at least a little apart from the crowd, be a little distinct from the rest, impossible to ever fully be lost or muted by any crowd of any size.

And the little slice of the world Scott makes just his and Danny’s, no one else’s. He doesn’t even need to share it with his pack without it being any less inviting to his pack for all that. It reflects this understated aspect of Scott, this impossible to quantify essence of him that he himself is too unassuming to ever fully realize is there, and everyone else just accepts without questioning…because they’ve learned by now when you’re given a gift, just accept it and appreciate it.

So in structure and layout, their home is nothing special, but amidst a neighborhood of similar structures, it pops all the same. It draws the eye without dominating your vision. It makes you want to look at it, want to come closer, want to be around it, much like the man who designed it. Who made it, cares for it, and never neglects it or takes it for granted. Its always green, year round, and filled with a variety of flowers that come from all over the world but can all complement each other and coexist without endangering any of the neighboring plants. None of them overgrowing the garden or in any way being at any of the other plants’ expense.

They’re like Scott’s pack in that way….of all shapes and sizes, coming from all around the world, of all kinds of types, not even just limited to werewolves. All beautiful, all unique, all existing in harmony. Even though Scott’s never shared this with anyone else, in his mind, each flower or plant he adds to his garden represents one specific member of his pack. Its Theirs, its what he associates with them. In this way, they’re all represented, it reminds him whatever conflict arises internally, its nothing they can’t ultimately all work out without compromising any single individual. And with each plant needing its own special attention and time devoted to cultivating it and caring for it, they serve as proxies for the pack members they represent.

Due to this, Scott can tell himself with just a glance at his garden - reassure himself, whenever his self-doubts get the better of him and he starts to beat himself up for not being there enough for someone or neglecting someone or not doing better - but with his garden, just going outside and checking it over can remind Scott that he’s not neglecting anyone. Because every time he tends to the plant that represents a pack member, Scott reflects on that pack member as he does so. Just going over what they’ve been up to, mentally checking in on them, casting about to see if he’s noticed any sign something’s been bothering them, making sure to spend one on one time with them.

He can’t tend to a plant without associating it with their linked pack member….and in this way, as long as he can look around and take in with a glance the sight of his garden, all carefully tended to, no plant neglected, all watered and pruned and harmonious and appreciated….and it serves as a visual reminder with which to reassure himself….he’s not forgetting anyone, overlooking anyone. Nobody’s being neglected, he’s always thinking about his pack and keeping their best interests at heart and if any problems do pop to mind while he’s tending to one of his plants or flowers, of course that would be the first thing he’d make a plan to go check in on and address personally, once he’s making his rounds later and having a little face time and conversation with his various packmates.

Of all the flowers and various plant types in his garden, there’s only one fruit….a single eye catching and lovingly attended orange tree. That’s Danny. They’re his favorite, and orange is his favorite color. There’s just something unique about it. Especially in the midst of so much green.

The flowers nearest the front door and around the external structures of the building, a pillar underneath the small, roofed-in entrance way, perhaps, a gate at the front of the property, next to the driveway, maybe a trellis along the wall just next to the door…..the flowers adorning and framing the entrance to their home are a carefully arranged spray of seven different hues.

A literal rainbow, advertising this House and All Who Live Here Be Gaaaaaaay.

Scott’s always had a sly, understated sense of humor. Mischievous, but not usually at anyone’s expense, and subtle enough that most people don’t tend to credit him with having much of a sense of humor. He does though….he’s just never needed words to express it.

Advertising himself and his personal pride with a literal year round rainbow that’s still subtle enough that most people don’t clue into its layered meaning or implications without being told. Later in life, stable and safe and more centered, Scott gets a pretty big kick out of how often people fail to see what’s right in front of them. Him living his best life on his own terms and not even being shy about it….and if other people can’t connect the dots on their own….its a pity, Scott muses with a mostly internalized laugh, that most people are just in too big a hurry or too eager to take things at face value to truly see what their surroundings look like and are full of.

Danny gets the joke, and thinks its hilarious how few other people figure it out. But that’s mostly just because Danny can be kind of a dick. He’s sorry not sorry. Its not his fault people are dumb. RIP to 90% of humanity, but he has braincells.

He and Scott complement each other well.

Similarly, just as Scott’s personal space is outdoors, natural, and helps him feel part of the world, feel part of nature, connected to it and in harmony with the natural order of things and not something completely separate….Danny’s personal space is indoors, the extra room converted entirely into his personal office or Batcave. Filled with monitors and screens and hard drives, a Hacker’s Paradise that keeps Danny plugged into the grid, manmade tools and his own cultivated expertise giving him the world at his fingertips. Any needed information or a satellite view of something happening with allies on the other side of the world is just a few clicks of a mouse away.

He’s also got every video game console known to man, because Danny’s Me Time is kicking ass on whatever game the latest redditor or twitterbaiting bigot to catch his ire is high-ranking on.

And if he also happens to use his gameplay as an opportunity to backdoor into said Wankstain’s systems and do whatever needs doing to make his life and those of all his enabling social circle’s a living hell and a lesson in empathy that comes too late cuz nobody has any for them because they suck and are Satan….

Well. Sucks to be them, and also, what kind of moron makes enemies while online gaming without first erecting even a nominal defense against Superior Intellects who might feel like retaliating against his jokes, that aren’t really jokes so much as the synaptic misfiring of racist braincells and proof that sometimes, evolution shits out a turd?

“That sounds like victim blaming,” Scott notes in an absent kind of tone when watching over his husband’s shoulder one day. Not really judgmental so much as just something to say.

“You say victim blaming, I say pest control,” Danny hums unapologetically. “Sides, can’t be victim blamed if you’re not a victim, and you can’t be a victim if you’re really just a human-shaped mistake who has no redeeming qualities, an online presence that’s the virtual equivalent of bad BO with no medical cause for an excuse, and a social media history that makes a strong case for your best possible contribution to society being a qualifier for a Darwin Award. Would you blame a cockroach for getting itself stepped on by stepping out into the light? I mean, you could, I guess. Just doesn’t seem terribly productive if you ask me.”

“Why do you hate cockroaches? They’re living creatures who never did anything to you, why would hurt them by comparing one to this guy?” Scott asks, because that’s really the more important part of the conversation.

“Dunno,” Danny shrugs. “I’m sure I could find some way to blame it on childhood trauma if you really need an answer.”

“No, just wondering if you’re gonna be done in time for dinner. I’m making tortellini.”

“I’ll be done in ten minutes, I swear. And ready to eat like a metaphor that’s more appropriate to you. Righteous vengeance really works up an appetite.”

“Uh-huh. Just out of curiosity, who exactly are you righteously avenging at the moment?”

“Humanity? Good taste? God, who couldn’t possibly have foreseen this free will thing would go so very wrong? That poor defunct condom that tried its best but in the end, just wasn’t up to the task of keeping this shithead from being unleashed unto the Earth? I dunno. Do I have to pick just one?”

Not really. As stated, Scott’s not actually judging anymore than Danny’s trying to hide this from him. They’re both in total agreement about the kind of people Danny cyber-vigilantes. They just have different approaches about how they should be handled. Scott, while not violent by choice for the most part, does tend to favor the direct approach. He just feels its right that a person know why exactly he thinks they’re a terrible person who deserves what they get. So he tends more towards the approach of: punch a bigot in the face, wait for a second for a whiff of remorse or sign someone might be suddenly reevaluating life choices, because he’s Scott and hope springs eternal, but when no such revelation comes, just shrugging and walking away. Oh well. He tried. Sorta. Well, kinda.

Danny, in contrast, prefers to go for the jugular and leave no hint of who or what might have been behind the all-encompassing full frontal assault that hits every online trace of his target’s miserable and miserly existence. It keeps them paranoid and this keeps him sated. Plus, his stance is when they don’t know what exactly earned them an enemy of his caliber, it forces them to reflect or at least call to mind every thing they can think of doing wrong to someone that might result in that someone hating them this much.

The ironic thing of course is Danny doesn’t even really hate them, because that implies a level of giving a shit he can’t ever quite seem to muster. He mostly just thinks they suck and should suffer for that. And he gets bored a lot.

Look, his husband and fellow werewolves are off saving the world every other week and being all kinds of kick-ass and action adventure movie-star types in the process. A guy sitting behind at home all the time has to get his jollies somehow. Also, he’s compiled a very engaging soundtrack to accompany his personal heroic undertakings, and it does wonderful things for his self image. Danny’s all about that self-care.

Plus, the first time he and Scott had something of a disagreement on their approaches, Danny unapologetically stated that loving him meant loving his vindictive side, because he personally was quite fond of it and thought it was really something of a Look. Also, making that Look into a Thing might be something of a dealbreaker for him, because he really didn’t want to undersell his capacity to be petty, and how little shame he felt about having said capacity. His essential life philosophy boils down to sometimes people just suck and somebody needs to say so. Maybe by draining their bank account and redirecting the funds to an ironically relevant charity.

“Fine,” Scott had conceded with a sigh. “Just be careful about making enemies like this, I don’t want you to get hurt.”

(That was really his only real concern all along. He’s a Nurturing Nelly. Scott can’t help but be a worry wart when his husband roams the internet highways under a masked IP address, taking on bandits and bigots all willy nilly, with not a bit of concern for himself. Its their biggest common ground, and Danny doesn’t have claws or a killer bite to protect himself with. A bite fetish, maybe, but that’s not quite the same thing, and also neither here nor there, and also also, he would like to plead the fifth while reminding you he can access and pull up your full porn-browsing history if you’d like to press that line of conversation further. Pervert).

Anyway, alls well that ends well, and thus Danny couldn’t help but be charmed at the reminder that his hubby is a man with clear priorities and his biggest is always gonna be the safety of his loved ones. Aww, sweetums.

“Aww, sweetums,” he said, just to see Scott squirm, because the more unexpected the endearment, the more Scott doesn’t know how to take it. And a squirmy Scott is an adorable Scott, Danny has always felt, and he is a man who appreciates his eye candy, as well as a go-getter who knows what he likes and goes and gets it, even if that means playing dirty. Especially if that means playing dirty. Danny likes dirty.

After all, dirty men need to shower, and showering together conserves water, and having sex while showering together is just a solid application of having eyes, a hot husband, and a healthy libido. It just makes good sense. He’s goal-oriented and a linear thinker, what do you want, leave him alone. He’s valid and you’re just jealous.

Still, exotic endearment applied, he’d then followed up with:

“How dare you accuse me of being so bad at the thing that I am most skilled at that you imply I’m even capable of ever leaving digital tracks like a total N00b. What do I look like to you? A 4chan poster who just figured out how to spoof their GPS for the first time?”

Danny rolled his eyes, exaggerating his wounded pride. It was the principle of the matter, and he was very principled. Sometimes. Kinda. If principles mean whimsy and whimsy means shh, don’t interrupt me, I’m doing bad things to bad people and this is very important work that must be savored or you really don’t get the full oomph of the revenge-gasm. Yes, he said revenge-gasm and he meant it. No he will not elaborate. Imagination is free.

“Ten points from Gryffindor for your low opinion of me, your valued and valuable life partner. Also, no sex for you, until…..okay maybe that’s too far. You seem like you’ve learned your lesson.”

“You’re too merciful,” Scott had said drily.

“Nobody’s perfect,” Danny had said lackadaisically. “Also, not to disrespect your tortellini-making expertise, but any chance we can put a pin in dinner until after we go have wild, passionate sex? This pending revenge-gasm is making me horny and I really hate to waste a good head of moral crusading.”

“That was a terrible pun.”

“I have never made a pun in my life, how dare you, my sense of humor is sophisticated. I’m not a peasant, Scott. And where did we land on the sex.”

“Didn’t we just do it this morning?”

“I have needs, Scott.”

“You’re insatiable.”

“And water is wet. I don’t see the relevance. Also, if you don’t want me jumping you 24/7, you have no business being so hot. Its your own damn fault, deal with it.”

“There you go with the victim-blaming again.”

“I’ll do five Hail Marys after I finish doing sinful things to you and racking up another five. Its more efficient to tackle them all at once.”

“Not sure that’s how that works, babe.”

“Eh, guess I’ll just go to hell then. Still worth it. Still your fault. Oh look, I’m naked all of a sudden, how did that happen?”

Scott sighs. “What am I going to do with you?”

“R is for Ravish me, if you’re really looking for suggestions. I can probably do the whole alphabet if you need. Or just do me. Whichever.”

Scott cut off further melodramatic peacocking with a kiss.

Things proceeded to a total media black out from there. Further voyeuristic attempts at seeing the Alpha and his mate get down, get down, would necessitate the invocation of the cautionary tale of the last pack member to not properly respect the sanctity of the inner sanctum of the Vindictive Master of Digital Identities and Other Important Details. His name is Chester, middle initial A., surname with a phonetic similarity to certain orifices. That wasn’t always his name, but it was once Danny got done with him, and that was only after Scott gave him the Pointed Stare of One Who Will Look More Benevolently On Those Who Demonstrate Both Mercy and Restraint.

Tis very much a tale of woe, as Chester is 6′5″, 260 lbs of visually intimidating werewolf muscle, and facial features that when accompanied by choice words and phrases, rather does call to mind certain similarities to certain orifices.

Like I said. Danny is very good at what he does. And everybody loves Danny.

….Aside from all other motivating reasons, its just a good idea in general.

Y’know.

Practically speaking.

#scanny #future fic not fic #idk #look call it whatever you want just dont quote me #like I ever know how to describe half the stuff that comes out of my head #lol as ifffff

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thiswasinevitableid · 5 years

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I would love for you to do the sharing favours professionally from the rivalry/ friends to enemies to lovers for the prompt fill for indruck? (I'm on mobile so can't copy the whole prompt) 😁

“ we’ve been begrudgingly sharing favours back and forth to help each other out professionally but this time i need you to do something more personal and you know you wouldn’t have gotten that account without my help last month or that promotion so you owe me.”

Content note: There’s a brief description of Indrid’s ex being verbally shitty to him.

“No, nuh uh, aboslutely no fuckin way.” Duck maneuvers the last butterfly bush into its display row, stands up to find Indrid glaring at him.

“Why not?”

“Indrid, we see plenty of each other at work. I’m not gettin roped into some evenin shindig with you just because you asked.”

He heads inside, the skinny, pale-haired man on his heels.

“Duck, please, I help you out all the time.”

“Yeah, with work. And it’s only now and then.” He settles behind the counter, checking off the deliveries that have already happened. Indrid stays on the other side of it.

“Oh, really?” he arches a dark eyebrow (of course the guy dyes his hair), “what about the time I made sure city hall chose us for the five year landscaping contract even when you were the one who was supposed to be working on winning them over?”

“That how we’re playin?” Duck leans on his elbows, staring Indrid down, “because I seem to recall it was me who helped convince Mama that havin a little florists space so you could do your arrangements was a swell idea.”

Indrid opens his mouth to retort when the phone rings.

Duck grabs it, “Mama’s Nursery and Landscapin, Duck speakin. Oh, howdy Winthrop. Yep, expectin the last orders this week, then we’ll get started on that zen garden. Uh huh. I see. We’ll see what we can do. You have a nice day now.”

He clicks the phone off, “I hate the rich bastard, but he wants us to do the landscapin on their summer home, which’ll be a nice chunk of change.”

“See! There’s another one you owe me. You have such a hard time being in the room with him, the only reason we got the hospital garden job is because I turned on the charm.”

“Is that what you call it when you get that weird smile on your face?”

Indrid groans in frustration, pinching the bridge of his nose. When his hand drops away he looks...defeated.

He and Duck may bicker, may compete from time to time, but Indrid’s a good guy. Hell, Duck will even admit (begrudgingly) that he often enjoys how much the two of them work together.

Duck sighs, forces his brain to switch from arguing mode to problem solving mode, “Indrid, what’s all this about?”

“I told you, I have an art showing.”

“Right, but why do you need me to go. Why do you need anyone, ain’t your job at those to make small talk and hope people say nice things about your drawins?”

Indrid swallows, picks at the front of his work apron, “He’s going to be there.” He says meekly.

“He-oh fuck, you mean The Shithead?”

Indrid nods.

“He tryin to pull some stunt to make you take him back?”

Indrid laughs bitterly, “no, he’s been all over his social media bragging about how he’s going to turn up with a hot date to my show, “show me what I gave up” and all that. Dani saw it and warned me so he couldn’t take me by surprise. I have so few friends in town, and everyone but you has work or something else that night. I thought it would be nice to have someone I knew with me.”

Duck thinks about Indrid’s ex. The guy’d come into the shop plenty of times, often making a big show of putting a possessive arm around Indrid (who never seemed to enjoy the gesture). At least, that’s what he always did when Duck was around. Worse, whenever Indrid was describing a new landscaping design, or working on an arrangement, the ex would pick at it, say how it was bad or lacking, that it would never work and no one would like it. And Duck would watch the glimmer dim in Indrids’ eyes, watch him go quiet (find him more than once sniffling and wiping his eyes furiously in an outbuilding once the guy left).

He looks back at the other man, who is staring at his scuffed converse.

“Where am I meetin you and what time should I get there?”

--------------------------------------

Duck gives a tight smile to the group of hip twentysomethings crowding the door of the building as he squeezes through. It’s some art space/ coffee house/ bar that isn’t quite his scene, although he likes that it’s warm and lively as opposed to the fluorescent lights and weird silence he was expecting.

He doesn’t spot Indrid right away, and so takes a moment to look at the drawings on the wall. They’re Indrid’s alright, he can recognize the ways they overlap with the sketches he does for arrangements or the plans he draws up for gardens. And they’re incredible, black and white with pops of color, a few abstract or dreamlike but many seeming more like still lifes.

One in particular catches his eye and he stares at for a good two minutes, trying to figure out why it looks so familiar.

“Ahem.”

He turns, and has to forcibly stop his jaw from dropping.

Indrid is in dark slacks and some sort flowy black shall-jacket thing over a bright red shirt. His hair is tousled on purpose, rather than from getting it caught on plants.

Has he always looked this good?

“Thanks for coming.” He says awkwardly, extending one of the two glasses he’s holding to Duck.

“This all looks amazin.” Duck says, taking the drink with a smile. Indrid relaxes at that.

“Oh, I’m, uh, glad you like it.”

“What’s this one of?” Duck points to the drawing he’d been staring at.

“It’s of a really lovely, big cork oak up on one of the eastwoods trails. I like to go there on weekends and sketch.”

“Hold up, that the trail that ends at the little lake?”

“Yes.”

“No fuckin way! I hike that nearly every weekend. Amazed I’ve never seen you.”

“I’m usually off the trail a little ways.” He grins sheepishly when Duck looks aghast at this confession, “I know that’s not allowed but I’m able to get such different perspectives on the things I draw.”

“If, uh, if you wanted to, maybe we could go up together some time. Could leave you to do your drawin while I hiked and then, dunno, maybe get lunch of somethin?”

Indrid looks a little surprised at the suggestion, but recovers quickly, “That sounds quite nice, actually.”

Duck stays by Indrid as he makes the rounds, asking him about the different drawings and enjoying the way he animatedly describes the process and idea behind each.

The Shithead arrives about forty-five minutes in. Duck spots him first, complete with a date on his arm. The date is tall, slender, with pale hair, looking like Indrid if he were a model rather than just a regular guy. Or, Duck thinks as he watches the ex preen, as if someone took Indrid and erased all the things that made him so interesting to look at.

“Ex just got here.” He murmurs, and Indrid stiffens beside him. Duck, seized with a sudden need to protect him from that jerk, places an arm reassuringly on his lower back. Indrid glances at him, face unreadable, but relaxes into the touch. For the next fifteen minutes, whenever The Shithead makes a loud, derisive comment, Duck will squeeze Indrids hand or brush his fingers down his back and Indrid will shake off the words.

There are several people wanting to buy drawings and so Indrid excuses himself to go thank them.

“Knew you’d be the one to pick up the scraps.” Says a familiar, unpleasant voice.

Duck turns, levels The Shithead with his most disinterested gaze.

“Nice to see you too. And I ain’t got the slightest clue what you’re referrin to.”

“He was always talking about you. ‘Oh, Duck knows so much about native plants,’ ‘oh, Duck has such good ideas.’” He says it in a mocking, high pitched imitation of Indrids lilt and Duck wonders if he can get away with physically throwing him out of the building.

“Anyway, it doesn’t surprise me that when I traded up, he went crawling to you. Honestly, you can do much better.”

“Beg pardon?” Duck growls.

“Let me see, how to put this in terms you understand? Why waste your time on a weed when you could have a prizewinning rose?”

“Because,” Duck says through gritted teeth, “sometimes people call things weeds just cause they don’t behave exactly how they want ‘em too, or because they don’t see the value in ‘em.” He steps closer to the ex, not noticing that he’s stopped whispering, “You fucked up. You were shitty and Indrid had the good sense to dump you and now you’re doin some petty shit to try and hurt him. He’s amazin at what he does, he works hard, he’s funny, and he’s so handsome I wanna look at him every damn day. You didn’t see the value in him. That’s your loss. Now fuck. Off.”

The Shithead is about to say something when a hand grabs his shoulder. His date is behind him, looking pissed.

“Hold on, you asked me out to try and hurt your ex?”

“Uhhh, babe, no, I can explain.”

Duck smirks, turns to check on Indrid just in time to see him slip out a side door.

“Goddammit.” He mutters, quickly following him.

The door opens into an alley, and Indrid is standing with his back to him. When he turns, his hands are over his mouth and his eyes are wet. But he doesn’t look unhappy.

“You like me.” He whispers.

“Uh” Duck scrambles, “well, yeah, we’re, uh, friendly types, fuck.”

“You think I’m handsome.”

“Shit, you heard all of that?”

Indrid nods, Duck sighs.

“Fuck it. Yeah, I think you’re handsome. And all the other stuff. And lots of, uh, other stuff that I didn’t say but could’ve.

Indrid steps closer, “Is the part where you admit all our arguing has been the only safe outlet for your, um, passion for me?”

Duck snorts, “Hell no, sometimes you need a fella who’ll tell when an idea ain’t feasible. But…” He meets Indrids hopeful gaze and smiles, “I’d be lyin if I said I ain’t thought about what it’d be like to be a different kind of partner to you.”

Indrid reaches for him, and Duck goes willingly into his arms as the taller man blushes and says, “Yes, I’ve thought about that quite a lot as well.”

------------------------------------------

Dani’s glad Indrids’ show is open so late. It means she and Aubrey can go once Aubreys’ act is over. She even texted Jake and Hollis, asking if they wanted to check it out too (also, if Indrid’s ex was there, having someone who looked like, and basically was, the head of a motorcycle gang would come in really handy).

When the four of them reach the bar, she peeks in hoping to see Indrid, but can’t spot the taller man (or Duck) anywhere.

“Huh, maybe he left?”

“Or maybe he’s taking a little ‘break.’” Hollis makes airquotes before pointing up. They all look towards the balcony, which clearly isn’t in use for the party.

It is, however, in use for the two figures currently occupying it for a long and intense looking kiss. One is wearing red glasses, the other lets out a laugh that unmistakably belongs to Duck Newton.

“We should give them some privacy.” Aubrey says. The other three look at her, and then she grins.

“Just kidding! WOOOOOO GET IT DUCK!”

“ABOUT FUCKING TIME DUDES.”

“GET A ROOM!”

“I’M SORRY ABOUT THEM BUT GOOD FOR YOU!”

----------------------------------

The sound of his friends catcalling them breaks Ducks concentration for all of two seconds. Then he flips them the bird, and goes back to the very important business of making out with his boyfriend.

#Prompt Fills #indruck #indrid cold/duck newton #AUs #taz aus

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froggybaek · 5 years

Text

box - part 1 [stray kids]

♛➩ this is a reader-decision au, meaning the decisions of the majority of the readers will decide how the story flows - from beginning to end, every single decision made by you all will count. it is heavily inspired by the promised neverland.

♛➩ genre: horror, thriller, mystery

♛➩ pairing: ???

♛➩ warnings: death, gore, violence

♛➩ summary: everyone came to the orphanage at a young age. most everyone was taken into a foster home by the age of seventeen, though there was the occasional straggler who didn’t get the chance to find a family; by their eighteenth birthday, they would be sent away. no one knew what happened to them, or the children who got adopted, as neither party would write back home to the only family they ever had. everything begins to unravel, leaving those in the orphanage wondering one thing - were they ever safe?

♛➩ word count: 2.9k { will get longer, this is simply the first, most basic introduction post }

“What is this?”

“It’s the gate that connects us to the outside world, according to-”

“Didn’t he say it wasn’t safe? Are we being... protected, from something?”

“I dunno, I think he’s just making sure that we don’t try to leave before we get adopted.”

“That’s obviously not the case, you buffoon.”

Felix puffed out his freckled, melanin cheeks, vehemently turning on his heels to face the brunette with the quirked eyebrow, his skinny fingers gripping onto the spine of a leather, worn-down book. “Hey, Eric could be right, you know! Just because you aren’t sure doesn’t mean we’re wrong.”

“I’m more than aware of the faint possibility that I’m wrong - but by reasoning, I can also be correct, as I usually am.” His deadbeat comrade murmured in response, pushing himself off the trunk of the spruce tree, subsequently adding an extra inch to his otherwise shorter height. “I am the smartest one here, after all-”

“Actually, Seungmin, Jisung is the smartest of us all... somehow.” Eric reminded him quickly, the redhead wagging a finger to argue his point. Felix nodded hastily, taking a step away from the otherwise forbidden gate to throw an arm around the shoulders of his best friend.

Sure, the other kids were definitely the closest thing to family that Felix would ever get in the orphanage, but Eric and Seungmin were his two closest friends. The youngest of the trio matched his own bright, bubbly personality almost too perfectly, especially since the younger of them was incredibly outgoing and always had something to say. He wasn’t as academically bright compared to the easygoing Felix or the studious Seungmin, but there was an air of comfort and home that surrounded him. Perhaps that was why Felix felt so at ease with Eric.

A soft sigh bubbled past Seungmin’s lips. “I will never understand how Jisung can ace those exams without even batting an eyelid. No matter what I do, he’s always at the top - leaving me with second place.” He continued, though there wasn’t a single hint of bitterness in his tone, the boy pushing the bridge of his glasses farther up his nose as he spoke.

To call Seungmin dedicated was one thing, but to ever see him as anything akin to a selfish boy who only worried most about his studies? No one at the orphanage could think so lowly of the boy, who many considered their most reliable brother. To be frank, he was the one who supported everyone else’s achievements more often than anyone else, besides the professor.

“In any case, you two and Jeongin are always at the top when it comes to grades,” Felix sympathized with the grumpy brunette, reaching an arm over to playfully ruffle his normally messy hair. The freckled boy glanced over at the looming gate once more, wistfully wondering just what could be lurking on the other side. With a quick shake of his head, though, his pink lips curled into a bright smile. “Come on, the professor will be wondering where we’ve wandered off to.”

And with that, the trio turned their backs to the only possible point of contact to the outside world - not that they wanted or needed to go. They were perfectly happy at the orphanage, just as they always had been.

————————————————————————

“Just where have you three hooligans been? Dinner started ten minutes ago.” The professor questioned the three boys sternly, though his voice was hardly as gruff as it was warm and caring.

Eric spoke up first, as he always did. “Sorry, prof - we got caught up on the walk back. Minnie thought he lost his book and we had to look for it in all the bushes and grass.” The simple, harmless lie slipped past his lips like smooth honey. He had a knack for such meaningless lies, using them to get himself, as well as Felix and Seungmin, out of quite a few sticky situations where they could get in a world of trouble.

Hard brown eyes narrowed into a suspicious stare, their elder guardian parted his lips in preparation to call out Eric for his lie; he was the only one who could ever spot such a false set of words so easily. None of their other guardians compared to the professor’s sharp intuition. “Eric, you kn-”

“Guys, you’re back - oh, sorry, professor!” Lua breathed out in a rush as she poked her head around the corner of the dining hall, sending the trio of boys a slight wave. “Dinner will start to get cold soon, you three need to come and eat it soon, oh, and Somi is about to pounce on your plate, Seungmin. You got the extra slice of cake tonight, but she says if you don’t claim it in the next minute she’s gonna eat it.”

Seungmin’s eyes widen behind the glass of his spectacles in disbelief and horror. Not even bothering to say goodbye to the professor, he makes a mad dash for the dining hall, book tucked under his arm while he goes to save his food. Both Eric and Felix made eye contact with their less than amused elder, hurriedly bowing out of respect before they mimicked Seungmin’s actions and their feet began to pound against the wood floor.

Just as they make the sharp turn to enter the bustling dining hall, Felix slows down behind his eager friend. A wave of respect floods his senses as his eyes drift over the shining, polished silver plaque hanging by the entryway.

Kim Woojin - Professor of Ethics, Honorary Guardian to Mercy Garden’s Orphanage.

Professor Woojin wasn’t all that much older than Felix and the older boys who had yet to turn eighteen, truthfully. He was far younger than their previous guardian, Minseok, who ended up retiring early for whatever reason. Lua and Sunwoo had some sort of conspiracy going on in those rather... interesting minds of theirs, something about how they believed Professor Woojin was taking a youth supplement and he happened to get the job since he had a natural parental instinct.

… Felix honestly wasn’t too sure if he could ever believe that theory. He, like a majority of the sane children in the orphanage, simply assumed that the older man was just that good when it came to taking care of everyone, which - he was. Whenever the younger kids, such as Zen or Sunhee, got scrapes on their knees from a serious game of tag, the brunette haired man would kindly scoop them up in his burly arms and hum a fine tune under his breath before he cleaned the wound and bandaged them up, usually offering them a cookie afterwards.

Truth be told, Felix looked up to Professor Woojin. He would help him study for their exams, encouraging the ginger with bursts of kind words and sweet treats. Mind you Felix wasn’t one of the top three in the orphanage, but he wasn’t below average - in fact, due to the professor’s assistance, he was slowly but surely climbing the ladder to getting almost perfect scores on the exams.

“Lix, come on! I’ll eat all your food if you don’t hurry up and get in here!”

Nodding to himself, the boy shifted his admiring gaze away from the plaque and towards the dining all, quickly sauntering inside with a loud exclamation of, “Eric, don’t you dare!”

————————————————————————

“Fuck, I totally flunked that exam.” Eric groaned aloud, much to the displeasure of Seungmin, who promptly flicked an eraser at the younger’s head. With a hiss, Eric rubbed the now minuscule red spot on his cheek, sending the boy with glasses a tentative glare of annoyance and mock offense. “What? I have every right to be pissed - what if... what if my new family sees this bad grade and all the other ones... what if they think I’m too stupid to adopt?”

Everyone exchanged looks of pity over Eric’s fears, knowing very well that he usually refused to expose his own worries. If he ever actually spoke of something that happened to bother him, that meant it was serious.

“They won’t think like that, Eric,” Jeongin assured the older, flushed boy with a genuine smile, his braces sending a flash of light over the shadow on the wall of the makeshift classroom, “Professor Woojin made sure that they know literally everything about you; from your loud personality to your... lackluster grades.”

“Wow, that makes me feel so much better, Innie.”

Jeongin rolled his eyes in amusement, knowing that Eric didn’t mean his harsh, mildly patronizing words. “What I mean to say is that the family who filed to adopt you want you to be one of them because you’re you and no one else. I’m willing to bet that they’re an outgoing, adventurous kind of family with a couple of children who deserve to have a sweet big brother like yourself.” His hair bounced as he enunciated each and every word to make Eric feel better, the tiny apple-bob on the top of his black hair only helping his cause.

Felix, of course, agreed with what Jeongin had said, though he didn’t elaborate on them much past that. Just the night before, in the boys’ bedroom, he’d practically preached to his best friend, no, his other half about how much he cherished him and how much he would adore his new family. Was he sad that the person he considered his brother was leaving without him? Well... who wouldn’t be.

But Felix didn’t have the heart to express his internal grief, knowing too well that the adopted boy wouldn’t hesitate to cancel the damn adoption process himself just so he could stay by his side until they both finally turned eighteen. No, he couldn’t allow Eric to throw away such a fantastic opportunity - besides, they had promised each other in the dead of night that they would find each other one day. When Felix finally grew of age to leave the orphanage, if he wasn’t fostered or adopted by then, anyway, he would scour the ends of the earth to find Eric again.

Nothing could separate them: not a foster home, an adoption, not even death itself. They were family, and family always stuck together.

“Everyone, say goodbye to Eric!” Professor Woojin hummed to the crowd of thirty-eight kids, both young and old alike, one of his giant hands resting gently on a flushed Eric’s shoulder. The personal grief in his own eyes was evident enough to those who met his sad yet proud gaze - Eric was the sixth child to find a home outside of Mercy Garden’s Orphanage under his supervision, so technically it was another good point for him under the eyes of his elders. But... Eric was family, and everyone was upset to see him go.

“Hey, don’t be a jerk and forget to write to us!” Lua whined, breaking the choking silence with a hint of a voice crack.

“Come back and visit us on Halloween - it’s tradition that we egg the office!” Felix followed her lead, offering his best friend the happiest of smiles he could possibly muster in the moment.

“Hold on, Felix - you do what to my office now-?”

“Don’t forget us! We’re family after all!” A handful of the younger kids sniffled and cried out, having to be held back by the older residents as they desperately tried to reach out and latch onto a sniffling Eric’s legs.

Crouching down low to the ground, Eric set aside his bag and opened his arms wide, embracing the tiny pack of crying children when they finally broke free and ran towards him. Tears streamed down his own red cheeks, showcasing how he truly felt in a rare display of anything other than joy or happiness.

“How could I ever forget about you guys? Y-you’re my real family, all of you.”

————————————————————————

About fifteen minutes had passed since the professor and Eric had left for the gate at the edge of the forest, where the former would be picked up and taken away from the orphanage - to his new home, with a real family. Felix knew he had no right to feel so goddamn bitter about the entire situation, and he tried to calm himself down by sweeping downstairs in a futile attempt to further distract himself, but the deadly tight grip on the wooden broomstick showed just how upset he was.

Across the room, Jisung was dusting the shelves of a stray bookcase, sniffing and sneezing every couple of seconds due to the dust that fell from the top shelf and blew past his sensitive nose. “F-Felix - achoo! Shit, I thi-think that, oh god another one, achoo! I think Eric left h-his bag here.” The blonde called over to the other boy in the room, wiping his nose with one of his sleeves.

Looking over with furrowed eyebrows, Felix’s eyes immediately landed on the pastel pink bag Eric had packed the day beforehand. A wave of concern washed over his body as he wiped a bead of sweat off his forehead and walked over to a sneezing Jisung, bending down to pick up the bag. “Fuck, Eric needs this bag, Ji,” he murmured with a sigh, glancing over to the other boy, “what do we do? I mean, we could wait for Professor Woojin to come back, but Eric will be gone by then...” He trailed off.

“It usually takes the prof at least two hours to get home after he takes someone to the gate. We could probably catch them before Eric heads off,” Jisung said thoughtfully, acting as if it had already been decided what course of action they would take, his fingers tossing the duster aside while he straightened his back to look down at Felix. “Think about it, Lix - if we wait for the prof to get back, he’ll just have to use up his own free time to walk all the way out to the gate again tomorrow so someone can take the bag to Eric.”

With a deep, resonating sigh, Felix nodded in agreement and slung the pink bag over his shoulders, adjusting the straps to fit him better. Taking his silent nod as a sign of agreement, Jisung smirked and began to make way to the front door with his freckled comrade trailing behind him.

Just as they were about to open the door, another voice quietly rang throughout the otherwise silent house. “Woo - Professor Woojin doesn’t like it when any of us go outside so late at night. You should just wait for him to come back.”

Both boys turned on the heels of their feet, surprised to find a stoic Seungmin staring at them from the top of the staircase. His striped pajamas nearly blended in with the cream colored walls, the only hint of light hitting his frowning face coming from a candle he’d placed on a small disc.

“He’ll appreciate us doing this one small favor for him, Minnie,” Jisung insisted, “don’t worry too much. If anything, we can at least hide or something if you really think he’ll be mad at us. Just... leave the bag there, no one will know who out of all of us went out to deliver it.”

His words seemed to just barely win Seungmin over, the younger of the trio not uttering another word before he went back upstairs, the light of his candle growing smaller and smaller. Feeling smug with himself, Jisung let out a proud noise and opened the front door, leading Felix outside with him.

Together, the pair silently wandered through the forest, following the rocky path that led to the gate. Neither of them were scared, so to speak, but the two of them seemed to have a lot on their minds. Jisung’s eyes kept snapped around the lurking shadows, as if he was looking for something - or someone. Meanwhile, Felix was pondering if he could at least say something else to Eric if he hadn’t left already. But, what would he say that he already hadn’t?

Once they finally reached the lone gate at the edge of the dark forest, they met each other’s gazes before nodding, decisively sliding the ancient steel bars open and closing them behind their figures. They continued, a bit more slowly now, to creep closer and closer to what appeared to be a garage of sorts. A cement wall broke off to let the strange building stand, with either side letting the wall continue its barrier for miles, likely around the private property of the orphanage.

“C’mon, I see some light coming out of that door.” Jisung muttered quietly under his breath, gesturing for Felix to follow his lead. The older of the two crept towards the doorway, which had been left cracked. Slowly, the blonde pushed it open far enough for them to enter the building.

There was a single red truck parked inside, the engine dead. The pair exchanged a hopeful look, hoping that Eric hadn’t left yet and this was his ticket off of the property. Grasping onto the bag with a faint smile, Felix wandered over to the truck, tilting his head in confusion when he saw that the bed of the vehicle was draped with a thin, gray blanket. Just as his fingertips brushed against the rough material, ready to pull it up enough so he could take an invasive peek inside the bed of the truck, Jisung stopped him.

“Woah... Lix, what the fuck is in this tube?”

————————————————————————

Where does Felix look first?

A: the bed of the truck

B: the tube that Jisung wanted him to see

————————————————————————

- voting ends on Valentine’s day

#stray kids #box #stray kids au #skz au #stray kids horror #skz horror #stray kids imagine #stray kids scenario #stray kids drabble #skz imagine #skz scenario #skz drabble #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst #skz fluff #skz angst #stray kids smut #skz smut #not really I just don't want this to flop lmao sorry

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mysticnfantastic · 5 years

Note

Okay, so on a happier note than my previous request. If requests are still open could do a scenario with RFA + V and Saeran (and maybe also Ray?) holding hands with MC when she suddenly flops to the ground and makes them carry/drag her because she doesn't want to go somewhere (like to the hospital for a checkup cause she hates hospitals or the grocery store cause of social anxiety or something)? I'm really curious about how they would react.

Hi! I hope this’ll be good! It’s cute!

Jumin:

Jumin is a responsible man.

He makes sure to attend all meetings, check-ups and the like when he must, and is used to everyone else doing the same.

And it is because of this that he is rather shocked to see your (seemingly childish) reaction when you refused to go to the hospital

At first, he tries to convince you bluntly, not understanding where this is all coming from - you just….flopped in the middle of his apartment.

When you refuse to get up, he sighs, and tries to ask you why you’re acting this way, and will try to listen to you as you embarrassedly admit how you feel too anxious to go, and how you have had some pretty bad experiences in hospitals, which made him feel for you, of course, but he also knew you’d have to go for your check up to make sure that you were healthy…

So, he’d probably make a deal with you - he’d have private doctors come to you to check you, instead, and he’d be there by your side the majority of the time.

Zen:

It was so random, he couldn’t have ever expected it.

You two were just...walking through town when he mentioned how you’d need to go shopping with him, and you just...flopped.

It was really strange and he had honestly no idea how to react, but he crouched down beside you, super concerned, thinking you had a seizure or something, panic in his (beautiful) crimson eyes

“MC!? MC, are you okay??”

Finds it NOT funny when he realises you aren’t actually hurt, but also relieved as fuck.

You shake your head though when he asks if you’re actually alright, and it makes him concerned, as he helps you to your legs, glaring at people who gave you two weird looks.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, his voice fully laced with worry as he looked into your eyes, pulling you into a nice alleyway for some privacy from prying eyes.

You explained your feelings and concerns and anxiety to him, trying not to get upset, to which he smiled reassuringly and kissed your forehead in a gentle manner only Zen could manage.

“That’s okay - I’ll be with you the whole time, okay? If you feel too overwhelmed we can leave and go home.”

Despite this, you refuse, and so he picks up you in his arms and literally carries you to the shops, it gains A LOT of attention.

Yoosung:

Gods save this precious bean, he has NO fucking idea what’s happening.

You were both just hanging out at the park, when he remembered how he needed to go to town and pick up some important things, and asked you to go with him, to which you responded by flopping facedown into his bed, saying something that got muffled under the pillow.

You hadn’t ever really..done anything like this before, so it was...interesting…?

So damn confused, is that a ‘no’, then?

You’ll sit up on his bed, and sadly explain why you /really/ don’t want to go to buy anything with him, the social atmosphere being suffocating to you.

He’ll nod, somewhat relieved it’s nothing too major, and he promises that you needn’t go, and that he can and will go by himself.

You feel bad just...waiting at his dorm whilst he goes to do errands all alone, but when he comes back he brings you back candy to cheer you up.

Saeyoung:

You were just hanging out at his house, sitting on his bed as he sat in front of his computer, typing away.

Eventually, he pulled away from the illuminated screen, smiling at you (like the dork he is) and then pouted when he saw your pale face.

You had been ill recently, and it showed.

Sighing softly, he tried to smile regardless, standing up and walking over to you, when he sat down beside you on the bed, he declared you had to go to the doctor.

Queue you immediately (and dramatically) falling into his lap face-up, hand on forehead like a prima donna.

He’s surprised, but chuckles lightly, shaking his head at your childish endeavours.

“Come on, MC, don’t be like this.”

You shake your head, refusing to go.

He sighs, and tries to make a deal with you - if you agree to go to the doctor, he’ll get off that forsaken computer and spend more time with you when you get better.

Usually, you were quite calm and easy-going, and that made this situation so much more confusing for this poor angel.

He stated that the two of you needed to go to the supermarket to buy some groceries, and your reaction was highly unusual.

You didn’t really even say ‘no’ you just...fell onto the floor, lying on your back, looking up at him with a pout.

V.Exe is not responding

He has no idea what the actual hell just happened.

“...M...MC? What are you doing?”

The humiliation suddenly hits you and you get up off the floor, blushing softly and explaining your dislike of being in public due to your social anxiety.

He’s still mildly confused as to why you felt the need to fall onto the ground to tell him that, but he understands what it feels like to be anxious, and just tells you to make a list of the things you want him to buy.

Jaehee:

The two of you were in town, holding hands as you made your way past the buildings, when Jaehee mentioned how it’s about time for you to go and make your annual medical examination

And you responded by...suddenly going limp and literally falling on the ground, much to her shock.

Thankfully, you weren’t in a busy part of town, but it still gained someone unsavory looks.

“MC!? What are you doing…? Get up from there…!” She’s slightly panicked but also embarrassed by the glances from passersby.

She helps you to your feet, though she does glance you over to make sure you aren’t hurt, worried about what caused you to do that.

When you explain the problem to her, she sighs in disappointment. “Really, MC?”

Disappointed Mom Mode

“You’re going to have to go get checked, but I suppose I could make the appointment with you if you’d like.”

Saeran:

It was the day of your doctor appointment, and you really hated the doctor.

Something about the doctor just...caused a deep discomfort within you, and you absolutely loathed it. You weren’t even /that/ ill…!

Unfortunately, Saeran begged to differ, calling you out for how you clearly needed to go.

You could tell her was becoming frustrated with how childish you were being, shaking your head like a five year old and refusing to go get yourself checked out.

When he tried to get you to stand up, you went limp and fell onto the bed, low-key freaking the poor boy out with your sudden limpness.

“W-What?...MC! Get up!”

You jokingly say ‘not unless you carry me!”

MUCH to your shock you feel him suddenly lifting you up in the air, into his chest like a princess, “Damn, you’re heavy.”

You know he’s joking, but you still playfully hit his chest in an ‘offended’ manner.

He chuckles softly, as he carries you through the town (and the two of you recieve many gazes of awe and confusion as you do so)

Ray:

Ray and you were in the garden, technically on a date.

And it was then you remembered you had a ‘one on one meeting’ with the Saviour.

Immediately you felt the anxiety within you, and you bit your lip, and unfortunately Ray noticed your internal distress.

“Everything okay, MC?” His voice was so full of love and concern.

“I...have to go see the Saviour in a little while.”

Ray’s face was confused - why did you seem so immensely concerned by it?

“I...suppose I am slightly anxious, haha…” you exclaimed, biting down on your lips harder. It intimidated you, and honestly this entire situation was so unusual and odd for you.

You were clearly very hesitant on going, and before you could really say anything else, you felt him princess-carry you to where your meeting would be taking place.

Hope this was good, it took ages and also confession: Mod Ama has long-ago deleted the app (B/c it took too much space and generally I b r e a t h e d this game, and it was...taking way too much time from my busy ass life, BUT i have read A LOT of fanfiction from the Saeran/Ray route, and also I wiki’d shit like hell, and so the Ray scenario is just…..something I made up so don’t shoot me pls.

- Mod Ama

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