#daylight) . i was with a friend and another friend who had just gotten an unexpected diagnosis

[oatbugs]

thinking abt that psychology lecture where they taught us how thinking about good memories makes your life obiectively better over time

#personal #i think i subconsciously equated memory and nostalgia. and i dislike the feeling of nostalgia so i avoided so many memories #i asked the masters student if every love song he listens to is about philosophy and he said everything is #everything is about the thing you love if you love it enough. i saw a star through the london light pollution (caught in an eternal nightly #daylight) . i was with a friend and another friend who had just gotten an unexpected diagnosis #we told her congratulations you're autistic and that means you may now explore a revolutionary depth #inside yourself. and it was all still about philosophy. (you sent us back a letter in said in capital letters #THE UNIVERSE IS GOING TO CATCH YOU.) one day i grabbed my friends arm and we jumped over a rusted metal fence #the soap-beaten bleach-eaten clothes i was wearing at the time still smell like rust and metal #for a brief moment i sympathise with the rusted case of a computer i saw when i was 5. i wondered if it had died #violently. i am spending my life protecting their ability to learn. and each time i ask a neural network what led to its choice of #planetary object it gives me the same blank stare of a young child which is in truth a black box to drown in. #when i was too young and i used to think of death too often i imagined my body was a machine. i imagined #liquid gold around my joints. i could never hurt a machine. i could never hurt a body that was a machine. #my neuroscience professor paused after a long lecture and told us #your body is not a computer，it is a flawed and gooey and imprecise mechanism. your nervous sytem is an intricate machine. #is every song about philosophy? is every song about the way machines learn? on the weekend i ignore the parts of him that have #rotted and pull the passion right out of his nerves. he told me he needs a way to kickstart critical periods so that he may learn well agai #and i told him taking every drug on the planet wont make a clever brain cleverer. he confessed he didnt plan #on making it far enough for it to matter. i checked his pulse and i told him that his body is a liquid imprecise delicate machine. #sometimes you become terrible but you are not an exception to being a winged thing. if you hold me you will smell like metal for the rest #of your life.

[cow-smells]

Eli/Hawk x Reader: Changes

Request: Can you do a Hawk x reader where they are dating since a long time and y/n tries to handle with his change from Eli to Hawk? @sophiahardy912

A/N: Thought I’d write all cutesy lovey dovey fluffy smutty things but then this angst came out? sorry if i failed you idk what happened here

Words: 2054

Warning: A few cuss words

----

Eli wasn't... Eli anymore.

Not just in a metaphorical way – he was Hawk now, inside and out. At first it was a refreshing change – you loved Eli back when he was introverted and lacking in confidence, but now Eli loved himself, and that was surely better.

    Confidence is a good thing. Right?

You remembered the day he texted you 'Dig it?' attached to a photo of him – classic brunette gone, dyed down and gelled up to a Blue Mohawk.

The phrase 'dig it' by itself was previously foreign to the boy, so of course the new bold hairstyle was a big shock for you. Not a bad one, just unexpected. Even more unexpected was the new attitude that came with it.

When Eli walked up to you the next day at school, he adopted a strut that came with his new hair and attire. You almost didn't recognize him without one of the comfy sweaters he previously would wear, the ones you would steal borrow when you'd go over to his on date night.

    It had been a while since you had one of those date nights – Eli wasn't fond of spending too much time in public, always feeling like people were staring at his lip – so you'd often spend the night at his house, watching some horror movie late in to the night, laughing together at cheap, unconvincing productions. Or, even better – clinging to him when a movie really was scary, finding an excuse to casually entwine yourself around him. You loved how he would turn red every time, as though you haven't been together for a long time now.

The last date night you two had was... unusual, yet exciting all the same.

Eli had been Hawk for a while now, and things were taking a turn for the worse. At first it was nice – Eli would link your pinkie fingers together under the table at lunch, Hawk would put his arm around you as you two walked down the hallways between classes. Eli cowered when anyone would so much as look at him; Hawk would shut down anyone who tried to start with him.

You didn't mind it, so to speak, when he got in to a fight with his former bullies. You were worried, of course, but Hawk knew how to handle himself. He beat the shit out of them and after years of Kyler and co taunting him, it felt like fair karma at play. You were actually proud. Hawk came home on cloud nine that day and you were all for being his cheerleader; it ended up being a night of great celebrations.

However, these days he was getting exceedingly violent with anyone who would look at him wrong. It was one thing paying back those who wronged him, but the whole karate thing was getting out of hand; it came to a red line for you once you saw his treatment of Demetri, the only one other than you and Miguel who accepted him far before he accepted himself.

You two had gotten in to a serious argument, Hawk stating that Demetri's treatment is his own doing for being such a nerd, you telling him to grow up.

A couple of days went by with you giving him the silent treatment. Hawk thought he'd just slide in by you the next day at lunch, kiss you and everything would be fine – but you weren't having it. If he didn't mind throwing Demetri under the bus so quickly, how long until that was you instead?

Not talking to Eli proved harder to do than you thought. After so long together it was strange, suddenly having this wall between you two. It had only been a couple of days of you riding the bus to school rather than on his motorcycle with him and you already felt an insistent pit in your stomach that refused to go away, no matter how hard you tried to distract yourself with schoolwork and your other friends.

So unsurprisingly, when Hawk texted you asking you to meet him at an unfamiliar address, you agreed.

It was dark out – the only people you saw around the road you were going down were a couple of shady looking dudes, only obviously under the influence.

You checked your phone again to make sure you were going the right way.

    “You made it!”

Eli's voice startled you, making you look up from your phone. Illuminated by the blue florescent lights from the shop he stood outside of, he seemed... relieved.

    “Yeah,” you answered simply, your eagerness to make up disapparating in to an unconfident hesitation. “what are we doing out here?”

    “Look,” Hawk took one of your hands in his. “I don't wanna lose you. And if that means being nicer to Demetri or whoever of those dorks, whatever. I can live with that. But not without you.”

You hated how he knew exactly what to say, even if it wasn't prefect. It was enough.

    “You didn't answer,” you said, allowing a flirtatious tone to creep up. “What are we doing here?”

Eli smiled, a smile that was more Hawk than Eli, and pulled you in to the shop after him, knowing he was well on his way to winning you over.

    “This is my guy, Rico,” Hawk introduced, fist bumping the older man. Between the familiar name, funny looking chair and sketches on the walls, you knew exactly where you were and what was about to happen.

    “Eli?” you tentatively called as Hawk guestued for you to sit in a chair behind the funky-looking one. Rico adjusted said chair and motioned for Hawk to come over. Eli sat on the chair, his back to you.

    “You sure about this?” Rico asked, preparing ink on a side table. “Sure,” Hawk answered confidently.

Naturally, your curiosity got you up on your feet towards Eli's other side – of course you wanted to know what he was getting inked – but Hawk quickly protested.

    “Stay over there!” he scolded playfully. “It's a surprise.”

The machine started buzzing and even though it wasn't you who was getting anything done, adrenaline started rushing, making you a giddy mess, forgetting all about your previous fight. As needle pierced skin, you spent the time waiting making assumptions over what Hawk was getting on him – at first you guessed the Cobra Kai snake, later guessing Sensei Lawrence in a heart – a suggestion that made Eli laugh particularly hard, in that way that he used to laugh when it was just the two of you (this earned a scolding from Rico, who couldn't get the work done if his canvas was jittering about).

It must have been twenty minutes at best before Hawk rose from the chair and turned to you, gesturing to the new piece over his heart – a heart with your name in it.

Was it possible to have your heart sink and jump simultaneously? On the one hand, you were realistic, and there would probably come a day where he'd regret this – a thought that made you sick. On the other hand, it was the most romantic thing you've ever experienced, and it was unlikely for anyone else to ever top that.

What was done was done, so you shoved aside any negativity and allowed yourself to revel in the love you felt, showering Hawk with kisses that quickly turned in to a deep, longing kiss – until Rico politely suggested you take the show elsewhere.

    Apparently “being nicer to Demetri” meant ignoring him altogether, besides some threatening looks. It wasn't ideal, but it was better than the alternative, so you let go of it despite it seeming like Hawk was constantly on the edge.

You were ready for another date night – the first since the tattoo parlor – ready to get away from school and its drama, just to spend some quality time with your boyfriend.

Now that he wasn't shy anymore, he suggested going to see a film in an actual movie theatre, which was exactly what you were doing.

The two of you split up – you needed to go to the bathroom so Hawk stood in line for tickets. By the time you had come out you had lost sight of your boyfriend – the crowd around the ticket stalls had suddenly increased.

    “You looking for someone?” a male voice asked. Turning around, a couple of guys you didn't know were approaching you. “Think you'd have more fun with us.”

Just as they reached you, a hand grabbed your arm. You were relieved to turn and see Eli – but he wasn't even looking at you. His eyes were locked with one of the guys – you could feel the tension in the air.

     “Eli, no,” you whispered firmly. His grip on you tightened, moving you aside – but you weren't going to stand for it. You stepped in front of him, grabbing hold of him as he did to you. “You start something, I walk.” your voice was low, not wanting those guys to hear, but serious enough to make Hawk understand you weren't playing around.

With a grunt, he looked down at you, took your hand and walked away.

You optimistically thought the worst was blown over.

You and Hawk were waiting outside the theatre to be let in, chatting away when Hawk stopped you mid sentence with a kiss.

Another pleasant surprise about Eli's newfound confidence was how willing he was to show affection to you publicly, while before you two could pass off as acquaintances at best.

It was rather random but you accepted the kiss – even when he deepened it, getting closer to you, pulling you closer to him.

His hands started sliding lower.

It wasn't anything you haven't done in the privacy of your bedrooms, but to get that intimate in public, in broad daylight – it was too much for your liking.

    “Eli -” you called, pushing away from him. He didn't allow it.

Pulling your hips to his with one hand on your bum, his other went up to hold your chin, tilting it back to grant him access. He managed to hold you for a moment before you mustered up the power to push him a few steps away from you.

    Hawk was visually surprised – whether because of you or himself, you were unsure.

    “What the fuck was that?” you asked, not bothering to keep your voice down this time.

Despite trying so hard to become this new person, new Eli still had old Eli's tells – and a quick glance he threw aside told you everything you needed to know.

Following his line of sight, the two guys from earlier stood there, watching the scene unfold.

    “So that's what this is about?” you huffed. “some territory marking thing?”

Hawk struggled to gather his words, his bottom lip bobbing wordlessly a couple of times before he spoke. “Look, you didn't want me to take care of it out there, so-”

     “So you do whatever you want with me? Like I'm nothing?”

    “Y/n, you know it's not like that-”

    “So what is it like?”

When Hawk didn't immediately respond, you turned on your heel to the exit. Hawk followed you outside.

    “Come on, Y/n, you know I'd never hurt you!”

    “You just did!” you yelled back. “you... I don't know you anymore, and I say that in the worst way.”

    “What,” Hawk huffed, “you want me to go back to being a pansy? 'Cause that's not going to happen.”

    “You know what's the worst out of all this?” you asked, coming to face Hawk. “at first I thought it was cool, you being all tough. Seeing Kyler become afraid of you. I thought it was great. But now... Now I'm afraid of you.”

Hawk frowned, the realization dawning upon him. “C'mon...” he lifted his shirt to show the heart tattoo dedicated to you. “Doesn't this mean anything to you?”

    “Make it mean something.” you replied with a heavy heart, taking a step back and left, leaving Hawk standing alone in the parking lot.

#cobra kai #cobra kai imagine #demetri cobra kai #hawk cobra kai #eli hawk moskowitz #eli moskowitz #cobra kai hawk #hawk imagine #cobra kai x reader #eli moskowitz x reader #eli hawk moskowitz imagine #eli moskowitz/reader #eli moskowitz imagine

[ordonianhero]

Above and Beyond

author’s notes: This is a complete one shot. please excuse grammar and spelling mistakes. this story turning out way differently then what I was expecting. The characters belong to jojo56830 Linked Universe. I am sorry I haven been writing much and Chapter four of my main story is on hold till I feel motivated to work on it. so for now I am working on short stories. Hope you enjoy this one. Feel free to take inspiration and do fan art of this if you wish. 

Genre: Fluff- lots of fluff and comfort.

words: 2,805

Synopsis: They had been traveling for some time, the weather not letting up. Wild is running a cold. Everyone seemed tired and they needed shelter. Time’s own old injuries are acting up. So Twilight takes it upon himself to make sure they all get somewhere to settle down till the rain settles down and they can recharge.

Characters: EVERYONE  

Above and Beyond

  It was officially the first day of spring. The grass in the fields they crossed were lush and green. The trees just starting to blossom and gain back their leaves from the long winter days. little flowers bursting from the grounds. The sky was partly blue, with blankets of grey clouds of an upcoming spring storm. The birds were far more lively and chirping as they flew past the nine heroes as they wandered the land. However, despite it being spring, the cold air of winter still lingered. At night the temperatures would drop near to freezing, with frost caking the area. Then as the sun showed the warmth of the day would melt away the cold some. However the cold had seeped into the Older hero's bones. The aches were from old injuries he had gotten long ago.

 Legend was being extra quiet. He didn't trust his words to lash out wrong. enough of the cold and hard ground. Their feet sludge through the mud as another bout of showers begin. Spring showers as they are often called. Legend held in his outwardly grumbling. Twilight's own hair stuck to his face, water droplets dripping to his eye. He looked over at the Smith who was not really covered, he removed his pelt and placed the hood and rest over them. Meanwhile the traveler wore a brown cloak. The Captain had used part of his cape to shield Wind from the rain. Wild had been friendly to share some of his hood to Sky. Even though he had his own hood, it wasn't doing much. as the Cub sneezed.

 They at this time should find a place to say. From what Twilight could gage, this rain wasn't going to give up anytime soon. The sun teasingly shining through the clouds. The kept moving on with the Leader moving forward quietly. Every once in a while twilight caught him massaging a sore spot on his body. "This rain is really not letting up is it?" stated the Traveler. The rain drops bounced over a few flowers they passed. "They are spring showers." replied Twilight, the heavy rain now just letting up into a drizzle. "is it truly spring?" asked Wind as he peeked out from Warrior's cape. "It sure is. I remember the days working on my uncle's apple farm and dealing with such unexpected showers." Legend said very coldly.

They sloshing of their feet through the mud only made things even more dampening. The captain approached Twilight as they walked. "we should probably look for shelter. I doubt Time will want to. He seems determined to keep walking, but with each step, I am seeing him in pain." he spoke in a low whisper to the rancher. "I agree. I will offer to scout a head for shelter." he replied patting the Captain's soaked back. Twilight walked up to Time who's eyes were focused all about him. "We should find shelter. There's no point to trudge more in this weather. I can scout ahead if maybe to find us something." Time didn't reply. Twilight looked directly into their leader's eyes. They were filled with tiredness. The bags and dark circles gave part of that away. He then looked over at Twilight and nodded to him to do so.

Twilight nodded back as an understanding and took off ahead to go scout out ahead. "where is he going?" asked sky out of curiosity.

"Maybe he is abandoning us." Legend jokingly stated. Wild's eyes widen to that statement. "No he wouldn't." The young sailor's voice came.

"No. he is just scouting ahead." replied the captain, glaring at Legend.

"why didn't he ask anyone to go with him, it's not safe to go on their own." Replied Four.

"He can handle things on his own. I have seen him do so. Fear not." Came their leader's tired voice.

Wild then felt weak and begin to lean against Traveler. He let out another sneeze. Hyrule looked at his friend, he looked flushed. He was clearly sick. Oh Rancher, please find somewhere we can rest at.

-----

Once twilight was out of sight, he transformed into Wolf form. He could find places much faster that way. His paw sloshed as he went into full run and only stopping to sniff by old tracks of travelers from weeks ago. Which then lead it way west towards some forest. He stopped at the edge of the woods. Using his sense, he was able to calculate that they were not far from a traveler's cabin. He also used it to sense out if there was any enemies nearby. So far. none. Once he gathered all the information, he turned around and rushed back toward the group. Mud splashing against his fur coat.

The closer he got he transformed back and met up with the group.

"There's..." He was trying to catch his breath.

"whoa, looks our Rancher age is catching up with him." Legend laugh.

"Oh cut it out." Snapped Four.

The captain moved up to the front where Time and Twilight were. "find something then?"

Twilight shook the rain off him and then took a deep breath, "I was able to find a cabin. not far. I didn't see any enemies along the way."

"well that's good, wait- how close?" the Captain questioned.

"Oh, 'bout two miles away." replied Twilight.

"You ran, two miles." The sailor said surprised.

"I told you, I have faith in him." Time spoke giving the Captain a look. He reached over and ruffled Twilight's hair a bit.

The captain snorted. Twilight then eyed the rest of the group and spotted the Cub leaning against Hyrule. He looked bout ready to fall over. He rushed over to him and catches him. The group stopped. Twilight picked up the cub to carry him. Wild made a fuss to fight him on it. however he was too weak to do so. Goddesses you're stubborn. He walked over to Epona. Hyrule following behind him. Twilight Lifted the Cub onto her back, followed by himself. "Rest."

"I am not a baby..." Grumbled Wild.

"And you're in no condition to be traveling. You are not well." Twilight replied.

Wild let out a grumble and just rested against Twilight as they traveled on. Twilight own warm body helped combat the cold he felt throughout his own. Hyrule stayed close by Twilight.

-----

Once they had reached the cabin, they all sighed with relief. The rain had gotten to be coming down harder. Twilight hopped off Epona, Captain offered to take care of Epona as Twilight got Wild into the cabin. Four and Legend got a fire going. Twilight got Wild bundled up to keep him warm. Wild was about to grumble again. Sky helped set up Wild's bed roll. As Hyrule made up some herbal med to give to them. Wild was about to fight him on it till he gave in and took it. Wild could feel its effects as it relieved his aches. Twilight quickly got Wild into much drier garments and then let him fall to rest in his bed roll. some sleep would do him some good.

Everyone managed to get into much drier garments themselves. Time had even though known to not sleep much felt sleep take over him. He had fallen asleep himself. Hyrule was careful to not wake them as he went over and using some of his own healing magic, eased some of the old man's pains. Twilight looked about the room. Everyone looked grateful for the shelter as the rain pounded the roof. Sky found some wood to carve on, while four took to reading a bit. Wind was huddled up Warriors under a blanket. The fire was slowly getting the Cabin warm.

Twilight moved over to fill a kettle up and placed it over the fire to make some tea. Legend was sitting near Four. "So since the chef is sick, whose going to cook?" He asked.

The room stayed quiet. The sounds of those sleeping could be heard, mixed by the rain. "I will make a soup." Twilight replied. Anyone willing to help with the ingredients, much appreciated.

Sky stopped carving, "I can help."

"Me too." replied Four.

"Hyrule, you rest, okay." said Twilight, knowing the traveler need to recharge his magic.

"So what you going to make?" questioned Legend.

"Oh something I have learned from being around you all." Twilight winked.

"Oh this better not be something hyrule made up." Snorted Four.

"thee has little faith in me?" Chuckled twilight.

"Oh I trust you...just couldn't peg you for a cooker." replied four with a soft laugh.

"you'll be surprised." twilight said, as he grabbed out some potatoes, carrots, onion and celery. along with a big chunk of meat.

------

Sky helped peel the potatoes and cut them up in to cubes. Four was helping cut up the celery and carrots. while Legend was put to dicing up the onion. Twilight made work with cutting up the meat. Twilight filled a stew pot with water to let the water get to boiling. Legend as he cut the onion was fighting off the tears from cutting it. Which they all quietly chuckled. "aww so you do have feelings." Sky joked.

"shut it bird boy. someone had to cry at the travesty of this meal being done by the rancher." jest Legend.

"or I could of just let you starved." said twilight sprinkling herbs into the stew pot as the meat went in. Followed by him putting the cut potatoes, carrots and celery. He took the onion and tossed it in.

"you wouldn't?" smirked legend as he took everyone stuff to clean up.

"could be worst." Four replied.

"whats worst then-ooooooh. yeah that is worst." sky suddenly remembering about the goron spice. 

Twilight finished stirring things up, letting it simmer.

Sky then poured them each a cup of warm herbal tea. which warmed their souls. The rain still falling. Daylight fading.

Legend sat beside Twilight. "So what kind of stew are you making anyways? It seems familiar the ingredients."

Twilight softly smiled softly and bumps Legend gently, "something to feel like home."

----

The Nice warm hearth with a stew simmering nicely. The Smell was beginning to fill the cabin. Twilight checking it once in a while and adding more seasonings if needed. Legend took to reading some, while Four worked taking care of everyone's weapons. Sky was plucking gently at his harp. Twilight looked over and seeing a solemn look across his face. Twilight moved over closer to him. "Missing your gal hu?"

"Am I that really that easy to read? You and Time seem to be the two who pick up on that."  Sky looked up at Twilight.

"Hm, cause love is easy to spot and the missing of those we care about is easy to spot." smiled Twilight. He saw Time slowly waking up as well.

Sky plinked one last note before setting his harp down. "It's like before when I was searching for her. I was always one step behind to reaching her."

"Hm. That's got to be saddening." responded Twilight.

Time filled his mug with tea and sat by them on a stool. Hyrule also slowly woke up from his own rest, as he slept beside Wild. Warriors, snorted his self awake, not realizing he had fallen asleep. Which gain a chuckle from the Veteran.

Sky blushed a bit. "It's stupid."

"Nah, being in love isn't stupid. It can be amazing, painful and hard sometimes. But when you are that bonded with someone-its magical." Smiled twilight. He went back to the stew to check on it. Taking a sip of the broth.

"Oh, well aren't you a romantic." teased the Captain.

Twilight sputtered at that statement, burning his tongue a bit on the broth. Time just let out a soft chuckle.

"Excuse you, At least I know what being romantic is. versus whatever garbage you try." jeered back with a smirk at the captain.

"Yet you were the one with your heart shattered." the Captain threw back.

"Oh, oh we going there? be very careful what you say, or I may just put something special in your own food." replied twilight.

"Hey. question." their attention was pulled by wind speaking up. he let out a yawn as they all stayed quiet. "why Do you and captain always banter like this? do you have like something against each other?"

"Not at all, it's all out of fun. never intended to hurt each other. It's like a older younger sibling rivalry." Explained Twilight. Warriors nodded in agreement.

"So, like when my sister gets annoying like banter?" asked Wind innocently.

"nah, that would be the Veteran and pretty boy." Chuckled Twilight.

"Oi! No. We just pick on each other like a pair of old friends who attempt to one up each other." Legend replied.

Twilight went back to the stew and snorted.

"I am actually use to this style of talking sometimes. Back when I lead. The men and I would banter in our sparing practices." The captain explained to wind.

"would you like to lead then." Time joking stated. "cause you said 'Use to.' " his arms crossed and a smirk across his face.

"and put up with his left right march- how about no." Teased legend.

"any time old man. Any time." Captain stated with a smirk back.

----

Once the Stew was finished, Twilight filled their bowls. He then went over and got Wilds own bowl and filled it. He then gently Woke them up. Wild let out a grumble, then woke. He then smelt the stew, He looked at it and then back at twilight who was giving him a soft smile. He saw everyone Smiling at the having something to warm the belly. He slowly sat up and took the bowl. "you cooked this?" he asked quietly.

"its editable, trust me." smirked Twilight.

Twilight sat beside Wild. Wild leaned against Twilight and took a sip of broth. The flavor was so rich and full of flavor. His mind flashed to something he had made back when he was home in his own hyrule. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he at the stew. Nobody had noticed it except Twilight who had finished his own bowl.

"it remind me of home." wild hoarsely said, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Everyone looked at Wild. Twilight gently rubbed his back. "It's something I learned from Legend, I am sure it something you picked up in your land too. I felt it was the best thing to make."

"Wait, you knew how to make my Uncles stew?" Legend stated in shock. "That's why I recognized this."

Twilight blushed. "well yeah."

"Can I have more?" asked wind.

"Is it better then Grandma's soup then." teased Captain.

"No, but its homey." Wind said, getting a second helping.

Everyone chuckled a bit. Wild finished his bowl and sleepily curled up into Twilight. Like a smile child when sick, all they want is to be comforted. Twilight just wrapped an arm and held him.

"Well since Twilight did most of the cooking, I think its best we help do the clean up." Time spoke up. The captain agreed. Time came over and picked up both Twilight's and wilds empty bowls. He gave Twilight a soft smile to the pup and Cub. Everyone seem to help out with clean up. along with making the fire more.

---

More Tea was made as bed rolls were set up. Hyrule made sure to give Wild more herbal med to help fight the cold he had clearly developed. Captain had gotten to telling a story at some point. Everyone was in such a chipper mood. As their night was starting to settle in for the night. Wild had drifted off back to sleep, bundled up in his bed roll and Twilight's pelt. Time pulled Twilight away. Twilight caring side often could get in the way of him getting actually sleep.

Twilight’s bed roll was set beside Time's. Captain put on last log to keep the fire going for the night. Before settling beside Wind. Time poured a sleep potion and gave Twilight it. "Here."

"I-"

Time just gave him a look and Twilight slouched and took it in his hand. Threw it back and scrunched up his face. Letting out a grunt of disgust. Time chuckled. Taking a bit himself. Twilight could instantly feel the effects of it in his body. He couldn't fight it any longer as he laid down in his bead roll. His eye closing, his body going into a resting state. Time just smiled and brushed a bit of Twilight's hair aside. "I am so proud of you. So proud of you."

He leaned over and gently kissed the top of Twilight’s forehead.

"my son."

-fin.

#Linked Universe #linked universe fanfic #lu time #lu twilight #lu four #lu wild #lu legend #lu warriors #lu sky #lu hyrule #lu wind #linked universe fan content

[wickedmilo]

IT’S NOT NOTHING | MILO & ORION PART 2

PLACE: Orion’s house TIMING: 11:48 AM SUMMARY: Milo treats Orion to breakfast as an apology for not leaving before sunrise, and the two make the best of their day together WRITING PARTNER: @3starsquinn CONTENT WARNINGS: Mentions of addiction, drug abuse, drug manipulation, self harm, physical abuse, emotional abuse

There was a pain in Orion’s back as he slowly woke up. He stretched his arms, slowly realizing that he wasn’t on his bed at all. He paused for a moment, noting the smell of grease and noise from another part of the house. He finally poked a single eye open, taking in the view of his living room. Rio could vaguely recall dozing off the night before. He couldn’t remember the end of the movie either, must have been completely gone by then.  

Rio sat up on the couch, a lone piece of clothing acting as a makeshift blanket falling off of him. He grabbed the hoodie and picked it up, looking at the front and remembering that it was the same one that Milo had been wearing the night before. How had that ended up on him? Rio pulled himself off the couch and onto his feet, wrapping the hoodie around his waist and moving towards the noise in the kitchen. Though he knew exactly who was there, he hadn’t completely figured out why yet.  

Standing in the kitchen and working with the small amount of food that Rio actually had was Milo, no longer wearing the hoodie he had before and still here despite the daylight. “Morning.” Rio muttered, still trying to wake up and figure out what he had stuck around for. “I didn’t expect you to still be here.” 

Milo felt more than a little guilty about staying with Orion. Sitting beside him on the couch, slowly watching the sun rise through the small gap in the curtains, he had found himself on multiple occasions questioning whether he was doing the right thing. Sure, it felt wrong to leave Orion so vulnerable, especially without saying goodbye. But staying with him meant staying. If he didn’t leave before the sun came up then he quite literally couldn’t leave. Rio would be stuck with him for the entire day, and was that fair? Was he crossing a line? Ultimately, he had taken one look at his sleeping friend, and found himself unable to move. It felt good to be trusted, but so meaningful to watch over him while he rested. Realistically, he knew nothing bad was going to happen, but in a way he was repaying him for keeping him safe. Maybe they could keep each other safe. 

When the sun had fully risen, he finally, begrudgingly pushed himself to stand. The expression on Orion’s face was so genuinely peaceful, he was terrified of startling him, but he had things to do, things that would hopefully make up for the fact that he was essentially forcing his company. He was careful to be quiet, attempting to tap into his apparent ‘supernatural stealth’ as he cleaned up any evidence of their movie night. He wasn’t entirely sure how long it had taken him to complete the short list of chores, but when everything had been washed and put away, it only made sense to make a start on breakfast. Having never been much of a cook, he settled on scrambled eggs. One of the first things he had learned to make as a student. He had no idea whether Orion even liked eggs, but if they were in his kitchen it felt like a safe enough bet. He was so distracted by the task at hand, that he didn’t notice Orion had woken until he was standing in the doorway, commenting on his unexpected presence. Looking up, he offered his friend a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry… I couldn’t bring myself to leave, not while you were sleeping.” He admitted. “But I’m making you breakfast.” He added, lifting the pan a little to draw attention to the eggs cooking inside it. “Y’know… because now you have to deal with me for the day, and I know that wasn’t the plan.” 

“Don’t be sorry. I’m not mad about it.” Orion smiled. He couldn’t believe he had somehow slept through Milo moving about and starting breakfast. Beyond that, he couldn’t believe he had slept so long at all. Usually, he found himself tossing and turning all night, jumping awake at every small sound and lying in the dark trying to get back to sleep. Yet for some reason he had managed to get what felt like a full night’s sleep on the couch with another person making noises. His body had gotten so used to minimal sleep that the deeper sleep might actually be causing the grogginess that Rio was feeling. “It smells amazing. Thanks, you didn’t have to do that.” It certainly wasn’t what he had been expecting. 

The idea of more time not alone was a bigger benefit than Milo could possibly know. The fact that it was him was an added bonus. “Sounds good to me. I’m sure we can survive for the day.” Rio slid onto one of the stools and propped his elbows on the kitchen island, resting his chin on his knuckles, “So then, what’s the big plan for today? Movies? Games? I have a pool that hardly gets used. If you like swimming at all.” 

“You’re not?” Milo felt his heart warm at the sentiment, he only hoped Orion was being genuine, and not polite for the sake of protecting his feelings. He felt as though they might be past that, but that didn’t stop the small spark of doubt. It seemed to settle in the back of his mind, and he did what he could to ignore it. “How did you sleep?” He asked, turning his attention back to the food. “You looked so comfortable, I thought about waking you up but honestly, it would have been cruel.” He admitted, a quiet laugh escaping him. “I also thought about taking a selfie, but you’ll be pleased to know I refrained.” Shaking his head at his friend’s insistence, he did need to do this. If he didn’t then what was he offering? What was he doing to make his day more bearable than it would have been if he had left like he was supposed to? Rio had been expecting a quiet day alone, and his plans had been dashed. He wanted that to be okay. He wanted Rio to be okay. “I had a feeling you might skip breakfast if I didn’t make it for you.” He said, only half teasing. “So it’s like self-care, only Milo is forcing it on you… It’s Milo-care.” He grinned at his own ridiculous joke, pouring the eggs out onto a plate before setting them down in front of Orion on the counter. He was strangely proud of himself, it had been a long time since he had last tried to make eggs, and they had turned out surprisingly well.  

Finding a fork to hand over, he began the process of turning off appliances, and washing up the pan he had made use of, only glancing back up when Orion spoke again. “Are you sure?” He asked, raising his eyebrows. “I think we both have a habit of getting into trouble.” Possibly the understatement of the year, and far too romanticised considering the context of the ‘trouble’ they usually found themselves in. But it felt good to be light-hearted, he wasn’t about to put a downer on the conversation by reminding Rio he had shunned his life as a Hunter and turned Dani against him. In the same way he wasn’t about to remind himself he had quite literally died and was now doomed to spend his days as a vampire. His eyes shining as he was presented with a list of possible ways to spend their time, he was so grateful to hear it. Clearly Orion hadn’t felt obligated to say his company was welcome, clearly he really did want to spend time with him today. “Shit, I forgot about the pool.” He admitted. “Do you think your sugar daddy would mind a stranger swimming in his pool? I would hate to upset him, you know? What if he lowers your allowance?”  

“Of course not. You’re always welcome here.” Orion stated casually. To him, this was common knowledge. He was slightly surprised that Milo didn’t realize that by now. “Surprisingly well actually, considering I fell asleep on a couch.” He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised that he could fall asleep somewhere slightly uncomfortable. He practically lived at the Scribrary for months and nobody had slept on those mattresses since the eighties. “Wow. I appreciate the self control” Rio laughed attempting to motivate himself to get and and move towards the fridge to pour a drink. It wasn’t working so far. “You could have woken me up though. I would have just moved to the bedroom. No harm no foul.” He couldn’t guarantee he would have gotten back to sleep, but at least it would have taken some pressure off of Milo. Rio narrowed his eyes at Milo’s breakfast skipping comment and folded his fingers together, “As much as I appreciate the ‘Milo-care’, are you just saying that because you think I’m scrawny too? You know everyone in this town calls me that?” He pouted, sticking his bottom lip out and sighing heavily. Still, Rio couldn’t help but feel a little emotional at the idea that someone was cooking breakfast for him. It was something small and yet so thoughtful. “Thanks. Seriously.”  

Rio finally convinced himself to slide off the seat, pulling out a gallon of orange juice and pouring a cup for himself, raising the bottle towards Milo as an offering, “Not sure if you like… still drink this stuff?” He hadn’t thought about how little he actually knew about vampires. Though it wasn’t his specialty, he still felt like he should know more. For Milo’s sake if nothing else. “Yeah. Duh. This is way better than being alone all day.” Rio found found his seat again and wasted no time digging into the eggs. “These are delicious” Rio spoke mid mouthful, almost satisfied enough to overlook Milo’s continued comments about a sugar daddy Almost. “I hate you. You’re actually the worst you know?” Rio continued to giggle though, despite his words implying otherwise. “Someone might as well get some use out of it. I don’t really ever go swimming.” 

Milo smiled, really smiled, holding Orion’s gaze for maybe a second too long. “Not many people say that to me and mean it.” He admitted, his voice barely louder than a whisper. After leaving uni, he had developed a habit of couch surfing, anything to avoid going home to his parents. There had been an abundance of friends, or friends of friends, willing to lend him a place to crash. But he had never necessarily been close with these people. They had begrudgingly put up with him, usually because they shared a vice and it made things easier to have connections. Nobody had ever made him feel welcome. “Hm,” his smile growing when Rio mentioned being comfortable on the couch, he was glad going to so much effort not to wake him had been worth it, had genuinely meant something. “I wasn’t about to kick you out,” he said, remembering looking down at his expression, peaceful and soft, realising he couldn’t bring himself to be the one responsible for removing it. Laughing suddenly at the mention of being scrawny, he shook his head, his eyes shining. “No, you dork. I’m saying it because even though it’s like, in vastly different ways, I have a feeling we’re both as self destructive as each other. You basically never sleep, you know? And you’re literally always working, so I figured you skip meals for the convenience? Am I right?” Of course, there was a very big chance he wasn’t right, but until Orion corrected him he was determined to feign confidence. ‘I’m making you breakfast because you probably don’t eat much’ was far less lame than ‘I’m making you breakfast because I really give a shit about you and I want you to be okay.’  

Raising his eyebrows, he leaned back against the counter, observing him to try and see what the town supposedly saw. “They call you scrawny?” He asked. “Who does? I’ll fight them for you.” His expression faltering briefly as he was offered a glass of orange juice, he considered the question, unable to help himself. The popcorn had been passable the previous night, but that had been habit, a comforting action. He wasn’t thirsty for orange juice. Besides, orange juice was expensive, he wasn’t about to waste his friend’s stock for the sake of playing pretend. Not when Rio was already so accepting of his new situation. Shaking his head with a gentle smile, he hesitantly caught his eye. “I mean, i can… it’s just, nothing tastes the same. It’s not bad, I mean… it doesn’t taste bad. It’s more like my tastebuds have gone from a ten to like, maybe a three? Or a four?” He stumbled over his words, realising he had never talked about it before. He barely talked about any of it. Chewing on his bottom lip, he knew a blush would be creeping to his cheeks if his body still worked in that way, so he fell silent, watching quietly as Rio began to eat the eggs he had made.  

After a minute or two had passed, and he hadn’t dropped dead over his plate, he figured the meal could be considered a success. His standards weren’t exactly high considering his track record of abject failures. Apparently Rio agreed. “If I was really the worst, then you wouldn’t put up with me.” He pointed out, his heart warmed by the thought of Orion genuinely enjoying his company, genuinely enjoying their friendship. It meant so much that somebody was willing to forgive what he was, especially after losing Dani. “I don’t swim really, either. Far too much exercise when your lung capacity is thirty percent.” He teased. “Wait… was thirty percent? Past tense?” How did smoking affect his lungs now? Would his healing abilities somehow repel the tar that once used to coat them? “I’m down for swimming.”  

It was slightly concerning that Milo was that surprised over Orion saying something and meaning it. Or maybe it had less to do with that and more to do with being happy to spend time with him. Either way, it didn’t bode well for the typical friendships he must have. “I don’t like lying. Not if I can help it at least.” Rio attempted to chew his food completely before talking. He forgot when he wasn’t eating alone he needed to have manners. “We got all the hard truths out of the way already. I’m going to be honest with you about things.” Even if he hadn’t wanted to wake Rio up, Milo still had no obligation to stay. As Rio stabbed at the eggs on his plate he wondered what had made him stay. There had been no obligation to do so. “I wouldn’t say that I necessarily ‘skip’ meals” Rio hesitated, putting emphasis on the word as he tried to figure out exactly what he meant, “I just wouldn’t say I have the healthiest diet, y’know? Instead of having breakfast I eat a few snack cakes. Or I’ll skip dinner and run by a bakery and stuff my face with stuff. I don’t think it’s any better.” 

Rio laughed at this threat, “Pretty much the whole town. I don’t know that you’re ready to fight everyone.” The scrawny comments didn’t bother him much anymore, admittedly. He had gotten so used to them that it almost felt endearing now. It was almost odd, feeling noticed when he had spent so much of his life feeling nothing but invisible. When he finally was noticed, he wasn’t mad that it came from a place of worry instead of contempt. “It’s fine. I mean, they’re not wrong.” They just didn’t quite get that could Rio rip a door off of it’s hinges. “Hmm. That’s interesting. Does blood taste any different then?” Rio found himself curious. He had never had the chance to casually talk with a vampire before. Now seemed like the best time. “Like, does it still taste like iron and that just tastes good now? Or is it a different taste entirely?” 

“Oh please, I’ve spent my entire life putting up with people that were the worst,” Rio waved away his comment dismissively with a laugh, but quickly backtracked on that, “However, I’ll admit that I like you more than those people.” He knew Milo would understand that it had been a joke, but Rio felt the need to backtrack regardless. Mostly because he didn’t like the idea of his parents and Milo being compared in the same sentence, even sarcastically. “Well, I told you smoking was bad for you.” Rio shrugged, a smug smirk spread across his face. “I guess technically it can’t be that harmful anymore.” He finished off the eggs and hopped up, abandoning the plate in the sink. “Pool is this way. It’s all yours.” 

“Good to know.” Milo smiled at Rio, it was a casual response, one he knew wouldn’t carry too much weight, but his friend’s words were undeniably comforting to hear. “If I ever do dumb shit though, I will need you to lie about it and save me the embarrassment.” He added, unable to help himself. His smile fading as the conversation became serious again, he hummed quietly in response. Orion was right. What did they really have to hide from each other anymore? In a way, Dani had exposed them both, made them both vulnerable. And neither of them could take that back. He wasn’t sure either of them actually wanted to. It was nice, being so open. For the first time in a long time it felt as though he wasn’t trapped inside his own mind, wasn’t overthinking, or trying to correct himself after making a comment that was a little too close to the truth. “I’m not going to lie to you either, you know…” He said, feeling the cold weight of guilt beginning to settle on his chest. He was being honest, he wasn’t going to lie to Rio. But there was information he had yet to divulge, information he was terrified might push Orion away, or make him realise Dani was right about him being dangerous. There would be a time and a place for that particular admission, it could wait because it needed to. “Okay, well I wasn’t totally off-base.” He countered, when Rio began to insist he didn’t ‘technically’ skip meals. “Unhealthy habits are unhealthy habits.” He added, as though there was no longer any room to argue against him.  

Grinning at the sudden laugh, he resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “Thank you for your faith in me, I could take this town with my eyes closed.” A blatant lie considering how easy he had apparently been to kill. And he still hadn’t really tested his new strength. He could barely even keep Dani away, he was only standing here now because she was continually interrupted in her various missions to kill him. “I don’t look at you and think scrawny, though.” He assured Orion, his smile growing as he prepared to follow up his statement. “Dork, maybe. Nerd, loser… not scrawny.” Glancing back up to catch his eye, surprised by the question, it didn’t take him long to lower his gaze again, almost embarrassed by the topic. “It doesn’t taste different…” He admitted, thinking on the sharp tang, the rich taste of iron as it filled his mouth. “Just better. Think of the best meal you ever fucking had, and times it by a thousand.” He hadn’t considered the fact that his sense of taste had changed specifically to complement blood as a food source. His tastebuds had shaped to it, bent to its will until it tasted better than any human food he could ever remember tasting. “You know, if we ever walk by an iron railing or something, I vow to lick it and test your theory.” He framed his words as a joke, he knew they were utterly ridiculous. But he was curious in the same way he felt sure Orion was. And where was the harm? It wasn’t as though germs, or toxic metal paint would be able to kill him these days, anyway.  

“I should hope so.” He feigned indignance, letting Rio see in his expression that he wasn’t genuinely offended. He understood it was meant as playful. Laughing too, he couldn’t help himself. It felt so strange to be talking about the non-damage he was now doing to his lungs. “Yeah, it wasn’t the thing that killed me though, was it? So I kind of feel like I win in some totally fucked up way. Look at me now, everyone who ever told me I was destined to OD on some bathroom floor in a stranger’s apartment.” He raised his arms in mock celebration, turning on the spot to acknowledge the non-existent crowd. “Killed by a vampire, nobody saw that one coming.” Lowering his arms again, it was the first time he could ever recall actually mentioning his death, at the very least the specifics of it. Rio didn’t know about the drugs, or the fact he had been attacked while he was barely conscious. He only knew the person who had turned him decided to abandon him, rather than stick around and help. Spinning to face his friend again, he was grateful for the sudden distraction. “Isn’t swimming on a full stomach supposed to be bad for you?” He asked, following Orion as he left the kitchen, forcing a smile back onto his face. “Does this count as a form of self-destruction?”  

Orion scoffed at the man, feigning offense that Milo would even consider that Rio would lie. “Sorry. This is a one way street now. You’ll only get the truth from me, embarrassing or not. Sucks for you, dude.” Rio pretending to frown and shrug away the sentence, “But not literally sucks. Sorry to burst your bubble.” It felt odd, making jokes about vampires. Wrong, almost. Considering he was closer to a slayer than a supernatural creature himself. But Milo knew he came from a good place. The place of someone who wanted to do good. “Unhealthy habits are unhealthy habits.” Rio repeated, nodding in agreement. His life was full of them. 

“I just told you I was going to be honest, and now you want me to lie to you?” Rio grinned. Of course they both knew Milo couldn’t take the whole town. Rio wasn’t convinced Milo could take a single slayer, at least not without some prepping beforehand. The right answer was just to laugh in agreement. Sarcasm wasn’t a lie if the truth was obvious, right? He was just getting ready to thank his friend for not thinking of him as scrawny until Milo kept talking. “Woooooow” Rio held the word out for long as possible for peak dramatic effect. “I was this close to thanking you. Glad I held out for a few seconds.” Rio pinched his pointer finger and thumb together and narrowed his eyes at Milo. He let it go though, instead choosing to think about his description of the taste of blood. It wasn’t something Rio thought he would be particularly interested in learning about. These days though, Rio was interested in learning about pretty much anything the supernatural could teach him. “Good to know. Please test that iron theory for me. I’m curious.” Rio tried to stay as casual as possible, hoping that Milo took it seriously instead of as a joke. 

Even heading towards the pool, Rio had time to pause and shoot a quick look of concern back at Milo. For how close the two had gotten, there was still a surprising amount that Rio didn’t know about the man. This comment about overdosing in a stranger’s apartment. It concerned Rio on a lot of levels. What business of his was it to comment on? So he didn’t. “Depends on who you ask, I guess.” He chose instead. A lot of this town would probably take a guess that a vampire would kill someone. Especially an easy target. Rio pushed the doors to room open, immediately hit with the smell of chlorine and humid air of the pool room. It was surrounded by windows, but all had shades that could be closed if desired. For the sake of Milo not getting boiled alive, he would keep them closed. “I think that’s just for cramps” Rio laughed, finding a spot next to the pool and sitting cross legged in front of it, “What are you going to do? Drown?” Rio laughed in spite of the morbid joke and then laid back fully, his back against the tiling so that he could drop an arm and run his finger along the edge of the water, “It’s all yours. Knock yourself out.” 

“Then I might just have to terminate our friendship.” Milo countered with exaggerated sincerity. “My reputation is already shaky, okay? I don’t need somebody like you telling everybody about the trouble I get myself into.” A sudden laugh escaping him, he could think of more than one way to make the joke less about vampires, and more about something suggestive, and potentially inappropriate, but after his teasing the previous night, and his very recent comment on sugar daddies, it felt like maybe he might be taking things a little too far. “I like being able to joke about it.” He admitted, deciding to be honest instead. “It makes it feel more… normal.” Another laugh escaping him when he realised Orion was pointedly not addressing his offense, he shook his head. “This is unbelievable, you know? You’re supposed to support me, tell me I can do anything… what about my confidence, Rio? What about my self-worth?” His grin only growing when he finally managed to elicit a reaction from his friend, it was made even funnier by the knowledge he had been about to thank him for his words. “Sorry, this is a one way street. It’s the truth only from me now.” He echoed the sentiment, eyes shining with mischief. “You think I won’t lick a railing? I mean it. I’ll lick a railing.” Honestly, he had probably done far worse when he was drunk, or high, or both. But Orion didn’t need to know about that. Hell, even he himself didn’t need to know about that. Some things were definitely best forgotten, lost to the familiar haze of inebriation.  

As they began to approach the pool, the smell of chlorine crept up on him. And by the time Orion threw open the doors the smell was almost eye wateringly strong. He knew from experience that prolonged exposure would lead to him forgetting about it, but that didn’t stop him from instinctively wrinkling his nose. “Yeah, I guess the context is important.” He admitted, entering the room with his friend. He didn’t want to consider how many people in his life knew of the supernatural world and had simply failed to mention it. Jeez, how many people had let him walk oblivious into danger? How many times had he come close to death before finally being chosen as a victim? Maybe it was inevitable. Maybe in a town like White Crest it was always going to happen. “Kind of depressing, huh?” Glancing back at Rio before finally allowing himself to take in the room, it was larger than he had been expecting. It made the thought of living in the building alone seem even more isolating somehow. So much space for just one person. Watching with a gentle smile as his friend moved to sit at the edge of the pool, he held back for a brief moment. “Hilarious.” He muttered, already kicking off his jeans. He had always struggled with his confidence, but somehow that had turned him into somebody who didn’t care. Instead of hiding his body, he was relaxed about who saw it. Instead of shying away from situations that may draw attention to him, he revelled in them. Because why did it matter? If the way he looked was average, at best, and if who he was could barely pass as a good time, then why did anything matter? This wasn’t a stranger, though. This wasn’t somebody he would never meet again, or somebody whose opinion lacked any value. This was Orion.  

Standing in his boxer briefs, he tugged at the long sleeves of his sweater, contemplating the marks that lay hidden beneath them. Not just the track marks, but the marks at the base of his throat too. The ones obscured from view by his collar. They would be made visible, and he wasn’t sure what was worse; Orion seeing the evidence of what he had done to himself, or Orion seeing the evidence of what had been done to him. Either way, not taking the sweater off felt incredibly awkward, it didn’t feel much like he had a choice. “I, uh-” He swallowed his sudden discomfort, unsure how best to raise the subject. Taking a deep, unnecessary breath, he forced himself to hold his friend’s gaze, moving to take a seat beside him at the edge of the pool. “I have some scars…” He admitted, his voice barely louder than a whisper. It almost echoed in the tiled room, reminding him he was alone with Orion. They were in a safe space. “I mean, scars people usually judge me for, and I know you wouldn’t- I know you aren’t like that but… you might not expect them, I don’t know.”  

“Wow. Who knew not lying would be the downfall of my friendships?” Orion questioned, a playful tone to his voice despite the very real implications. He had always walked a fine line, trying to befriend the supernatural while not exactly wanting to disclose his own questionable path. It had very nearly ruined his friendship with Ariana, which would have been a loss far greater than Rio could imagine. He was thankful that things hadn’t ended at that for the two. “I only agreed to not lie to you. Not for you.” Rio finally compromised. “Yeah, well nothing about any of this is normal. So I guess I’m glad we are at least able to joke about it.” 

It had only been a few seconds and yet Milo had somehow managed to turn Rio’s own words against him. Never before had he felt so betrayed by a vow to tell the truth. “I deserve better than this.” Rio stated simply, crossing his arms in defiance. “Lick a pole then. Won’t bother me at all.” In fact, it might actually make his day. 

Lying on the tile, Rio quickly glanced away once Milo began removing his pants. Suddenly, everything in the room became suddenly interesting, like counting dust particles in the air or intently listening to the sound of the water filter. It didn’t seem right to stare at Milo like this. After all, they were friends. It felt weird admiring any part of Milo when the two were getting so close. This wasn’t the same as just objectively noting that he was pretty when Rio used to walk into Towers and steal glances towards the counter as he flipped through comics. At the mention of scars, Rio immediately perked up. Pushing up onto his elbows, Rio met Milo’s eyes. He was absolutely sure to keep his eyes exactly there, focused on Milo’s face and nowhere else. “It wouldn’t bother me.” Rio breathed, suddenly aware of just how dry his mouth had become. How had one word changed his mood so drastically? His own arms began itching on instinct, and Rio found himself scratching at them through his hoodie sleeve. He wondered what the scars were from. How much of his skin they covered. He wasn’t hoping to compare. He wanted nothing more than to know that Milo’s scars were nothing like Rio’s. “Seriously. You’re good here. Swim away.” 

“Oh, so it’s about the technicalities?” Milo teased. “Then I might need to get that in writing. My lawyer can look it over for me.” Offering Rio a genuine smile, he knew his friend was right. Nothing about this was normal, which was why joking about it, turning their situations into something trivial, something light-hearted, made it feel so much easier to deal with. “I guess my whole life was kind of a joke anyway. Makes sense my death is also… you know, a joke.” A laugh escaping him when Rio insisted he deserved better, he shook his head. “Maybe having to put up with me is a punishment for something you did in a previous life.” He pointed out, grinning at the way Rio petulantly told him to go lick an iron pole. It was ridiculous that they were even discussing it, but it reminded him of the childhood arguments he used to get into with Dani. There was something so fun about the innocence, about leaning into the absurd nature of it all. “I will!” He insisted. “Just you wait.” He made a mental note so that he wouldn’t forget, although he found he didn’t need to apply his usual level of focus. For the most part, especially after staying the night, he was sober. Whatever he had taken to get him by was still ghosting his system, not affecting him in any way, but keeping him safe from a comedown. And he realised he almost, almost didn’t care. 

Watching with an amused sort of affection as Orion decided to lay back against the tile, he followed his gaze to the ceiling, wondering if there was anything interesting up there to look at. Apparently not. Feeling his shoulders drop as relief washed over him, he hadn’t been aware just how much tension he had been holding in his body while he waited for Rio to react. Of course Rio wouldn’t mind, he knew that. But it still felt strange. These weren’t random marks from falling off of a bike, or getting into some accident when he was a kid. These were intentional, and obvious. They could only ever have come from a single source. Before he could change his mind, or regret his decision, he pulled off his sweater, dropping it to the tile beside him. He wanted to feel comfortable, he wanted to be able to sit, and not care about how much of who he was ended up on display, but it was instinct to hide, if only to protect himself. So before Orion had any real chance to see his arms, he slid into the pool, allowing himself to sink to the very bottom of it. 

He hadn’t considered how strange it would be, settling underwater knowing he didn’t need to come up for breath. His descent felt slow, but he enjoyed it. The lack of sound, the lack of light. No scent to overwhelm him, or remind him of his heightened senses. Lazily pulling his knees to his chest, he glanced up towards the surface, seeing the lights from above, blurred, and inconsistent. Experimentally, he breathed out whatever air was currently trapped inside his lungs, watching as the bubbles escaped his body. There was no tension in his chest, no desperate urge to breathe in, no burning lack of oxygen. It struck him that he could stay where he was, sitting on the tile, surrounded by water, for the entire day and nothing would change. Absolutely nothing. But that wouldn’t be fair on Orion, who he realised was still sitting at the edge of the water. So he kicked off from the tile, needing to use more force than expected without any air in his lungs to keep him buoyant. When he finally broke the surface, he took a deep breath, pushing his hair back out of his eyes as he moved to hold onto the side of the pool. His arms tucked against his chest, safely below the water, he was very aware of the fact that he could do nothing to hide the scars on his neck. “Hey, are you not coming in?” He asked, gently prompting his friend to join him. “This was your idea.” 

“Yeah I’ll make sure to jot that down” Orion rolled his eyes towards Milo, “The least thing I need is to be legally bound to you. Who knows what trouble that would cause?” Though Rio didn’t love hearing Milo call his own life a joke, Rio couldn’t say much to refute it. He had referred to his own life as a joke multiple times himself, or some variance of the word. “Can’t really speak for my past lives, but I think you’re right.” His life before last year felt completely different than the twenty leading up to it, and Rio had plenty to make up for. Even if he had never taken a life, he had been too afraid to do anything about the ones who were. His family, the hunters they knew and the ones they didn’t had all been getting away with murder for Rio’s entire life while he just cowered in a corner and let them get away with it. It made him guilty by association. So maybe this was some sort of divine punishment, cursed to care so deeply about the very thing he was raised to hate. “Can’t wait” Rio spoke casually now, as if whether or not Milo licked a pole didn’t matter to him at all. He’d only feel slightly bad if Milo actually did it. 

Milo had his top off and was in the water before Rio ever saw any scars. It didn’t Rio, he wasn’t looking for them. In fact, the best choice right now would be to avoid looking at Milo at all. At least not for too long. He didn’t want his eyes lingering, not when Milo might think he was staring because of the scars. Milo stayed underwater for a long time, and Rio found himself glancing towards the blurred blob floating along the bottom of the pool in between the phone he was using to distract himself. But eventually, Milo came back up to the surface. And asked the exact question Rio was hoping to avoid. “I don’t really swim.” Rio shrugged from his position on the ground, still staring at his phone. “I just suggested that you swim. I never said anything about me.” Rio had never hated swimming, though he rarely had the chance to do it anymore. “Nobody wants to see under here. I’m super pale and…” He paused, just barely glancing over at Milo before darting back to his phone, “... and you’re not the only one with scars.” 

“I think I’d quite like our friendship to be legally binding.” Milo pretended to contemplate the idea. “But you know I wasn’t being serious…” It worried him that Orion was so ready to believe he deserved to be punished. “Right?” Of course he wasn’t being serious, referring to his company as some kind of curse, but he knew that wasn’t the part Rio had decided to focus on. Grinning at the deadpan response to his determination, he was more than willing to let the conversation move forward. If Rio didn’t want to talk about something then he would make that clear, and he would be incredibly selfish if he didn’t respect those boundaries. Especially when he was always offered the same courtesy by his friend. “I’ll be sure to take a selfie as proof.”  

Allowing the water to keep him afloat, using the tips of his fingers to grip the ledge of the pool, he looked up at Orion, unable to hide his curiosity. If he didn’t swim then why would he suggest the pool? The last thing he wanted was for him to feel left out, or as though he couldn’t be a part of the fun he was having. “I mean… this is true.” He admitted, thinking back over their morning together. Rio hadn’t specifically said anything about swimming himself. But that careful choice of words only made him more suspicious that there might be something more going on, something being left unsaid. “And I’m not?” He asked pointedly, raising his eyebrows at the mention of pale skin. “Besides, isn’t that like… insensitive to say in front of a vampire?” He was hoping to draw a laugh from his company, but Rio’s following comment had the smile fading from his face. “Oh…”  

So they both had scars. What kind of scars did Orion have? Surely not the same scars he carried himself? The admission could mean so many different things, all depending on the context, and he wasn’t entirely sure what to say. The last thing he wanted to do was pressure him, though he needed him to know he wouldn’t mind. In the same way Orion never made him feel judged, or scrutinised, or anything other than a person, he wanted to offer the same sense of security. “Like… Hunter scars?” He asked, noticing the way his friend was purposefully avoiding eye contact. “It’s okay…” His voice was quiet, and soft, as he attempted to comfort him. “We don’t need to talk about it… but you shouldn’t miss out on this, not because of something outside of your control, you know? It’s only me here.”  

Orion had gotten lost in his own train of thought that he didn’t consider Milo might take the statement seriously. “What? No, of course. I’m just distracted.” He waved the comment aside, quickly moving forward to dig himself out of the mental grave he had surrounded himself in. There was a time and place to worry about his past, right now didn’t seem like the best time. “Can’t wait for that picture to come through” Rio snickered, picturing the event in his head, trying to imagine the looks on people’s faces if they witnessed him do it.  

Orion couldn’t remember the last time he had swam around other people. The closest he had come was helping Skye into the ocean shortly before she left town. That hadn’t exactly been a normal situation, and Rio never once considered taking his jeans or hoodie off before helping lead her into the water. “I know. Because I don’t usually swim.” Rio nodded, knowing that he had said exactly what he had meant. He had invited a couple people over to swim in the pool, but never planned on swimming in it with him. Milo’s usual jokes fizzled out quickly and Rio felt bad almost immediately for ruining the mood. He had a bad habit of that. Still, despite how sure he had been, he found himself sitting up off the ground and actually considering the idea. 

“Um. Something like that.” What actual hunters considered hunter scars and what Rio would consider hunter scars would differ greatly. Rio’s definition was a bit more literal. They were reminders of the lineage Rio refused to align to. The footprints he wouldn’t follow. Rio hesitated for a moment longer before remembering that this was Milo. A friend that he could trust. “Just… you don’t have to apologize. Or say anything.” Rio warned last time before he pulled the hoodie over his head. Though the majority of his scars were hidden beneath his tshirt, his arms left little to the imagination. There were a few inches above the wrist before it started, but it rarely stopped after that. Bruised skin that had never quite returned to the right color because of intense trainings that Rio wouldn’t participate in. Long scars from old cuts and broken skin. Old burn marks leaving darkened shades of red and purple along that snaked up and under the sleeves of his shirt. Almost immediately, Rio found himself rubbing at the exposed space, unaccustomed to it being visible to others. Rio pulled his socks off and considered going further, but fell short. He was left in a tshirt and his track pants he had fallen asleep in the night before. The only people to have seen him completely shirtless since childhood were Winston and Ricky, and even that hadn’t been by choice. He trusted Milo, he just didn’t trust himself. “This is as good as it gets. So uh, guess I’ll get in.” The shirt and pants would dry eventually. He lowered himself onto ground and dunked his legs in first, immediately feeling off because of the track pants separating him from the water. But he kept lowering himself in, his now submerged clothes clinging against his skin. “This is awkward I know. Sorry.” 

The moment Rio insisted he was distracted, Milo realised he had been right. There was something more to this. Whether his friend was willing to elaborate, he wasn’t sure. But he didn’t mind being patient, not if that helped him to feel safe. A brief smile tugging at his lips, he was glad there was still space for humour, but as the conversation turned back to a less comfortable subject matter, a topic neither of them had ever really discussed, he fell silent, serious again as he listened. He was curious to know whether Orion didn’t swim because he chose not to, because he didn’t enjoy it. Or because he wanted to hide his body, to avoid the scars that were apparently marking his skin. His heart sank just a little at the confirmation of them being Hunter related. He didn’t know enough about being a Hunter to be able to guess where they might have originated from. But he did know how Orion felt about Hunting, and that was enough for him to understand they were tied to bad memories. His own scars, the track marks, they were self inflicted. As far as he was concerned they were remnants of a good time, a price he was more than willing to pay for a killer high, a brief stint of euphoria. But not everybody saw them that way, which was why he so often made an effort to hide them. The scar on his neck, however, the way he felt about that scar was far closer to what he imagined Orion must feel.  

Part of him wanted to assure Rio that he wasn’t going to apologise, he wasn’t that person. But he also didn’t want to sound false, or draw attention if it wasn’t necessary. So he watched as he carefully removed his hoodie, unsure whether he should look away. He didn’t know what he had been expecting, but definitely nothing quite as dramatic as what lay beneath his friend’s shirt. He wasn’t disgusted, or even horrified. He was morbidly fascinated. He didn’t know what he had survived, but it was incredibly clear to him that Rio was far stronger than anybody gave him credit for. “I…” He trailed off, remembering his decision to stay quiet. Instead of finishing his sentence, he pulled himself slightly to the left, allowing Rio to sink into the water, almost fully clothed. Catching his eye, he offered him a gentle smile, unable to put into words how much it meant that he was being trusted like this. Surely that gesture was more important than anything he had to say. “It’s not awkward....” He murmured. “I mean, only if we make it awkward, right?”  

Taking a deep breath to steel his nerve, even now he couldn’t understand why that worked when he didn’t need oxygen, he began to pull himself out of the pool, choosing to sit where Rio had been only moments before. “Wait,” he said, encouraging Rio to look at him before he could move too far from the edge. “I mean… it’s only fair.” Pushing his wet hair back away from his face, he carefully held his arms out in front of himself, displaying the track marks that looked dark, and angry in the blue light of the pool room. It felt strange, asking somebody to look at them after so long of keeping them hidden, especially after working to make sure Rio didn’t get a chance to see them. But he knew he was doing the right thing. It made sense, and if it would help his friend to feel more secure, then it would be worth the sacrifice, the vulnerability on his part. “I thought maybe with the whole vampire thing, they might just disappear, you know? But your old scars… they stay. And so does the one from...” He swallowed, a frown creasing his brow. It shouldn’t be this difficult to talk about, but it was. It made his chest feel tight with anxiety as the hazy memories of his death began to resurface. Reaching up with a shaky hand, he pressed his fingertips against the marks at the base of his throat. He knew from countless hours of staring at his phone screen that the scars were pale, and white. Barely visible if you didn’t know they were there. And he also knew, had discovered with a sickening jolt, that you could make out the individual teeth. See where his attacker had quite literally torn into his throat. “The others I did to myself, I just don’t like the way they make people see me. I’m not a junkie, Rio, I swear.” He insisted, needing his friend to believe him. “I just- I like drugs. People make that into something it’s not. But these…” He lowered his hand so that Rio would be able to see the bite, see the evidence of his death, the thing that had essentially made him what he was. “It makes me feel… violated.”   

The water felt different with all these clothes on. Even when alone, Orion usually swam with a shirt on, but swimsuits were light and thin, made for swimming. As soon as water soaked into these pants they got heavy and tried to weigh him down. Luckily for him, he wasn’t nearly as terrible of a swimmer as the Doctor seemed to think he was. He was half tempted to send her something as proof, if he took selfies fully clothed in a pool. He barely took selfies in regular situations. Still, Rio smiled back at Milo, kicking off and floating across the water, putting in the extra work to keep his legs from sinking. “Are you kidding? This is me we’re talking about. Making things awkward is kind of my specialty.” That wasn’t even a self dig, it was just a fact. He had a habit of nervously rambling and mixing up his words, or saying something too quickly. For someone who constantly second guessed and questioned every single thought in his head, his filter seemed to be pretty lackluster. “You may want to be nice, but you know I’m right. Just think about me trying to talk to you at the comic book shop at first.” 

The two were barely in the pool for long before Milo was already climbing out of it. Rio paused, legs fully sinking and putting him back in a standing position as he watched Milo adjust on the side of the pool. When he realized what the man was doing, Rio pushed through the water to get closer. He was playing fair game. Despite the implications of both, Rio enjoyed this game of i’ll show you mine if you show me yours. At least, until he saw the scars along his friend’s arm. They looked familiar, and Rio felt his stomach shifting as his random comments and signs fell into place. Still, Rio looked at them, only looking away when he was looking up to meet Milo’s eyes. “Unfortunately, no. Super healing doesn’t protect against everything.” If it had, Rio might be a little less inclined to swim with pants and a shirt on. He hated the way that Milo talked about what other people thought. “I don’t see you any differently.” Rio began, following up with “And I don’t think you’re a junkie.” He bit his lip. He wished he could end it there, but just like they had agreed earlier, Rio wanted to be honest. The truth was, this was concerning. “But it is dangerous. I’ve seen just how dangerous it can get.” It may not have been the only reason Rio was down a roommate, but it had been the final straw. “I just want you to be safe.” That’s all there was to it. Past those, Milo moved to his neck. Rio could see it immediately, the two imprints. A horrible reminder of what had been the end of Milo’s life as he had known it. Instinctively, Rio’s hand raised out of the water and towards Milo’s neck, but he cut himself off halfway up and curled his fingers, “Sorry.” Rio shook his head, unsure of what had possessed him to reach for it in the first place. “I wasn’t- I didn’t know the bite mark stayed. After you turned. I’m sorry.”  

Humming quietly in amusement, Milo thought back on the first few times Rio had ever spoken to him. He didn’t remember the conversation being awkward, but then that was never something he paid a whole lot of attention to. If he liked the person, if he enjoyed their company, it didn’t matter if they were stumbling over their words. “I’m not going to argue with you.” He insisted, offering his friend a grin. “But only because I literally don’t remember you being awkward, I mean- I remember thinking you were pretty cool. Obviously my dork radar wasn’t working back then.” It wasn’t lost on him that his arms were still very much on show, but he reminded himself the worst was over. He didn’t have anything to lose or to gain by trying to hide them at this point, so he should relax. He should make the effort to try and fall back into their usual banter. His smile fading as Orion caught his eye, making a comment on how healing abilities didn’t always protect from new scars, it was clear he was also bitter about that fact. “No shit.” He muttered, absentmindedly rubbing at the crook of his left arm. “That would have made it worth something, at least…” 

Falling silent when Rio insisted he didn’t see him differently for the marks, when he told him he didn’t think he was a junkie despite the evidence in front of him very strongly implying otherwise, it was everything he could do to stop tears from blurring his vision. He wasn’t sure anybody had just listened like that before. Nobody had ever taken his word for it. But before he could enjoy the feeling of being trusted, before he could get comfortable, Rio was dragging them both into painfully familiar territory. He set his jaw, defiantly holding his gaze at the mention of danger. “I’m fine.” He snapped, a sudden edge to his voice. “I can take care of myself, Rio. Apparently it’s not the drugs you need to look out for, it’s the vampires who want to get you high so they can drain you of your blood, and leave you for fucking dead.” Feeling guilty the moment he reached the end of his outburst, he closed his eyes, allowing a few beats of silence to pass before speaking again. Rio didn’t deserve his anger, he was the last person he should be taking things out on. The spark of irritation remained, burning quietly in his chest, but he forced it down, doing everything he could to dampen its strength. This wasn’t about Rio. “I’m sorry…” He mumbled, opening his eyes again, opting to glare down at his hands instead of face how unfair he had been. “I’m just tired of being told I’m putting myself in danger, especially now. Like, why should I care anymore, you know?”  

He chanced a glance upwards, hoping to prove to himself that he hadn’t upset Orion, and realised his friend was reaching towards the scar left behind by his killer. He flinched, unable to help himself. Considering he could barely recall the details of his attack, it managed to stay with him. That feeling of helplessness, of pushing back against a stranger as his life was quite literally drained from his body. Laughing quietly at himself, he shook his head, offering Orion a weak smile as he withdrew again, apologising for being so forward. “You don’t need to apologise.” He insisted, his voice quiet, and unsure. “It’s okay, I just… wasn’t expecting it. I mean, it feels like any other scar, I guess. It’s nothing special.” Chewing thoughtfully on his bottom lip, he thought back on everything he knew. Everything he had been told thus far. “Not always… I don’t think. I’m lucky like that.” Carefully lowering himself back into the water, he took Orion’s hand in his own, raising it so that he could press his friend's fingers to the base of his throat. If his heart wasn’t cold, and still, it would be pounding in his chest for so many reasons. Orion was the first person he was letting near his neck since he had woken up as a vampire, the first person he was trusting unconditionally, with every fibre of his being. “See?” He swallowed, trying to play off the action as casual, doing everything to hide how incredibly exposed he felt behind a nervous, and hesitant smile. “It’s just… It’s nothing, really.”  

It didn’t seem possible for someone to not notice how awkward Orion was on first impression. He didn’t grow up with the social cues or ease that his mother and sister had. But he did have the thoughtful or stoic nature of his father either. He had always had a sort of quiet indignation about him that made conversations short and concise, but not awkward. Rio had landed somewhere in the middle, too talkative to be stoic, too awkward to be charismatic. He had always been the type to stumble through a simple sentence and make up for it by accidentally over talking himself into embarrassment. “You didn’t notice I was awkward and you thought I was cool? There was definitely something wrong with you.” There was no way that Rio wasn’t awkward the first time he finally mustered the courage to have a conversation with Milo in the comic shop. The only explanation was that he had been too distracted to notice the social blunder that Rio was. “Yeah. Exhibit A.” Rio raised his arm as an example, “I’ve had hunter healing since I was a kid. It doesn’t fix everything.” He wasn’t sure if it made him feel more or less human. He wasn’t indestructible, but now he had countless reminders. 

Rio recoiled at Milo’s sudden tone shift. He jerked backward, not by much but just enough to be noticeable. He didn’t mean to do it, but it reminded him too much of his own mother’s affinity to switch from perfect suburban soccer mom persona she put on in public to the cruel, ruthless hunter that he knew. It wasn’t fair to compare Milo to her, Rio knew that. He recovered from the jerk reaction quickly, settling instead on a deep look of concern. “It’s really not my business. But being dead isn’t indestructible. There are drugs that-” Rio paused. How much did Milo know about the supernatural world? And how much more danger could he be in if he found out about those? “That worry me. I can’t help being worried.” 

“No. Seriously, I wasn’t thinking when I reached for it. I shouldn’t have done that.” The little space Rio had put between the two when he had flinched away was lost when Milo jumped back into the water. Rio felt his hand being grabbed before he looked down to see it being raised up to Milo’s neck. His neck was colder than expected, though Rio should have realized it before. Just another reminder that he had never met a vampire before him. He definitely hadn’t been this close to one. He hadn’t been this close to anyone besides Winston. It heart was exploding in his chest, and he was sure Milo could feel that through his fingertips, if he couldn’t already hear it. The tip of Rio’s fingers ran across the scar, barely a bump to show for it. Just the feint reminder of what was probably the worst night of his life. “It is though.” He stated simply, slowly pulling his hand away as he realized he had still been touching it. “If it’s something to you, it’s not nothing. No matter how small the scar, it can mean something big.”  

“Look, I’m not saying you weren’t awkward.” Milo clarified. “I’m just saying I was more focused on enjoying the conversation, you know?” There were definitely times it became more noticeable than others, he could still remember the first interaction following his colleagues making him aware of Orion’s crush. He had noticed it then, been endeared by it even. But it never jumped out at him, he had never seen Rio as somebody lacking in social skills. “Oh, for sure there was something wrong with me.” He teased. “Probably still is…” Bringing himself back down to Earth, pulling himself out of his memories, he allowed his attention to be drawn to Orion’s scars. It was the first time he was actively being asked to look at them, he could only hope that meant his own admission was making his friend feel more comfortable. “Do you think if I hurt myself now, it would leave a scar?” He asked curiously. He hadn’t actually tried, and intravenous drugs felt like a waste of money when he didn’t have a heartbeat to actually carry them.  

Noticing Rio’s sudden response to his shift in tone, he remained silent, not wanting to startle him again, but also not wanting to acknowledge his own defensive behaviour. For a brief moment he wondered whether the reaction was in any way related to the injuries he had sustained. He sincerely hoped not, despite the sinking feeling in his chest forcing him to admit that was incredibly likely to be the case. Pleased to hear Orion say it wasn’t his business to comment on, he opened his mouth to agree but promptly closed it again, narrowing his eyes as he processed what he was hearing. It sounded as though Rio had decided not to say what he truly wanted to, as though he might be backtracking, or intentionally withholding information. “Drugs that what?” He asked, his voice slow, and deliberate. He made it clear he didn’t believe the end of the sentence was the one he had been supplied with. “What were you going to say?”  

Still suspicious, but also worried about Orion, he begrudgingly allowed the conversation to move forward, aware of the hand still gently being held against his neck. “It’s okay to be curious, Rio…” He assured his friend. “Really, I don’t mind… this is as weird for me as it is for you.” Lingering tension aside, he would much rather talk about this with somebody he knew he could trust. They both had questions, and asking them together, finding answers for them together, was far more appealing than going through this alone. He could hear Orion’s heart, beating hard and fast inside his chest, and wondered whether he felt the same way. Was he nervous? Maybe scared of him? Or was it the intimacy of the moment that was causing his BPM to steadily rise? It is though. He glanced up at the ceiling, before staring pointedly at the wall behind Orion’s head. It was so much easier to be honest when he was avoiding eye contact. At least then he didn’t feel like he was putting himself on display, laying out his mistakes, and misdemeanours, ready to be judged for them. “I don’t know.” He murmured quietly, a frown creasing his brow. “Sometimes I want to forget it, just pretend it isn’t there… sometimes I feel like it’s important. But someone did this to me. They offered me a hit, took me to a room… and when I was high, when I couldn’t fight back, they killed me.” His voice was barely louder than a whisper, cracking with emotion as he struggled to hide his genuine fear. It almost felt as though the more he talked about this person, the greater the chance was of them walking suddenly into the room. He wanted to find them, he needed to find them. But he was also terrified by what they were capable of.  

Then again, wasn’t he capable of the very same? His first kill, his only kill, hadn’t been premeditated. It had horrified him, had made him feel entirely out of control. But he had been responsible. He had taken somebody’s life, torn out somebody’s throat. The thought made his stomach churn uncomfortably. Taking an unsteady breath, he blinked tears out of his eyes, shaking his head as though he could force himself to stay grounded. The only way he had been able to move past the guilt, and the shame, was by repressing the memory. By pretending it had all been some terrible dream. “Sorry,” he laughed at himself, bitterness lacing his tone as he hurried to brush away his tears. “I haven’t ever talked about it… not properly.” He wasn’t sure he wanted to continue, but he was in too deep now. He could finish the story, or he could tell it another time, and make himself suffer twice. “I woke up maybe thirty hours later, just... in some building, I don’t even know where. The person helping me… they said you’re not supposed to do that- turn someone, and leave them. But sometimes people do it for fun.” Finally removing Orion’s hand, he caught his eye, allowing him to see how badly affected he was by what had happened to him. “Someone did this to me, Rio. They left these scars on my neck, and I might never know why… their teeth are just- just permanently branded into my skin, and I have to live with that. I don’t know how I’m supposed to live with that.”  

There was an embarrassing amount of pride hearing that Milo enjoyed their conversations, even back then. Orion had enjoyed them too, though it had always been so trivial and happenstance that he never figured much of what they talked about stayed in Milo’s head once Rio left the store. It had been just a short time of reprieve from the reality of the world. “Well, thanks.” He didn’t know how else to reply. There didn’t seem like an appropriate reply. Milo had spoken very matter-of-factly. There was no way for Rio to refute it even if he wanted to. “There seems to be a little bit wrong with everybody, in my experience” Rio whispered, as if this was some well guarded secret. “If your healing is anything like mine, it depends on how bad the wound is. If it’s deep enough or lasts long enough it’ll scar regardless. I’ve had plenty of more surface injuries that completely disappeared. More than have stayed probably. I don’t think it helps if you keep getting injured in the same area.” Rio certainly wasn’t an expert on it. He remembered his dad talking about it once. Being a doctor and a hunter made him what Rio would consider the expert on hunter physiology. 

Rubbing at his temples, Rio wished he hadn’t said anything at all. This had been the only hiccup in what had otherwise been the closest to a perfect day Rio had had in a long time. “I’ve heard about other drugs. Supernatural ones that are very very dangerous.” That stomach sinking feeling was making Rio slightly nauseous, probably a combination of the smell of chlorine and the conversation he really did not want to be having. “My friend got really messed up on one. It wasn’t good.” Rio rubbed the tip of his finger against the small scar on his palm as a reminder. “I can’t have someone I care about go through that again.” 

Listening intently, the feeling of dread and empathy built as Milo explained the experience. Not wanting to interrupt, he instead nodded periodically as a sign that he was still following along. He found himself looking at Milo’s face now, only to find that it was the vampire’s turn to be avoiding eye contact. Funny how that worked out. “That’s horrible” Rio finally spoke quietly, still processing everything he had just heard. Rio thought about how cruel it was to take a life so quickly and casually. To take a life at all was bad enough. It must have been so confusing to wake up afterward, his entire world completely changed when he couldn’t even remember having died in the first place. “Thank you for telling me.” He added on, genuinely happy that he was the first person that Milo had told. “It’s not fair,” Rio agreed, “Your life was taken from you and that’s not fair. But you will live on. Metaphorically at least.” Rio laughed nervously this time, hoping that he sounded sincere in spite of the poor joke, “You’re strong and you don’t want to do the things that Dani accused you of. You’re a good person. And that’s why you’ll get through this.” 

“Hm, I guess that’s probably true.” Milo smiled, amused by Rio’s observation. Ignoring the discomfort that seemed to settle in his chest, the concern over the fact that his friend had so much information on the healing process, he pushed aside the question of how. If Rio wanted to tell him, then he would. And it may take some time to earn that level of trust. He needed to be content, to listen to what he was being told rather than wonder about what was carefully being hidden. “I think my parents would be fascinated by that…” He admitted, a frown creasing his brow as he thought about his mom and dad. “They’re doctors, you know? They live for this kind of medical shit.” Watching as Orion began to rub at his temples, it didn’t take a genius to realise he regretted raising the subject. But there could only be one possible reason for that. If he believed him when he said he wasn’t an addict, then why should he care? What could he possibly have to be so hesitant about? Feeling a surge of annoyance, he forced himself to remain calm. He didn’t want to snap again after his friend’s previous reaction to his attitude, but he had so much he needed to say, so much he needed to make Rio understand.  

“You think I’m so out of control that the second you tell me about a new type of drug I’m just going to go out and- I don’t know, fucking take my body weight or something?” He asked, fighting to soften the edge to his voice. If he got too angry then Orion might not let slip where he could find these drugs, or explain to him what their purpose was. There were supernatural drugs out there, substances he had yet to try, highs he had yet to experience. He could already feel a spark of excitement igniting within his chest. Why had nobody told him this before? “So... they’re recreational?” He attempted to frame his question as casual, as innocently curious, although he had a feeling that wasn’t going to fly. Would Orion have answered him if he hadn’t seen the track marks on his arms? He had no way of knowing, but the voice in the back of his mind, the one responsible for his doubt, and anxiety, was telling him yes. Telling him Orion wouldn’t feel the need to censor himself, or warn him of the danger, if he didn’t think he might have a drug problem. So much for not seeing him any differently. “I know what I’m doing, okay?” He attempted to assure him, leaving no room for him to argue. “It’s always under control.” Making a mental note to find out more when he was able to, it felt smart to drop the subject, if only to avoid arousing any suspicion. The last thing he wanted was for his friend to interfere if he found out he was trying to pick up.  

Not expecting Orion to sound so genuinely grateful for his honesty, he faltered in his frustration. Horrible felt like an understatement, but to even have his suffering acknowledged meant more than he could possibly know. Dani wouldn’t listen, Dani had no empathy for him, no will to understand what dying might have been like. And here was somebody telling him his trauma was valid, that it was okay to hurt, or to still feel confused by it. “Metaphorically.” He echoed, his smile growing as he finally caught his friend’s eye. Holding his gaze, he realised how right it felt, as though things were finally falling into place. They had crossed another impossible hurdle, become closer than they had been only minutes before. “I don’t know if I’m a good person.” He admitted. “But I don’t want to do those things, Rio. I don’t want to hurt people…” Taking a breath in an attempt to steady himself, he brushed away his tears, grateful that his dripping hair helped to disguise the tear tracks marking his cheeks. “Come on,” he gestured towards the centre of the pool, shrugging off the weight of the conversation. “Enough of the depressing stuff. Hey, I bet I can hold my breath for longer than you.”  

Orion vaguely remembered Milo telling him about his family while the two talked online. It had been a brief moment of recognition before he shoved the thought out of his head completely. He had been so excited to be talking with Milo again that he hadn’t let any pervasive thoughts about his family ruin the mood while he laid across his bed and texted back. “Oh yeah. My dad was too. They probably knew each other.” Rio suggested before adding in, “I mean, before he died.” It made it as casual as possible, dropping the knowledge in before trying to move on completely. 

“What?” was all Rio could ask at first, trying to figure out how the conversation had gone from bad to worse. “No.” He shook his head, ignoring the intruding thoughts warning him that he was ruining this. The good moments the two had managed to have were basically draining down the pool filter. “I didn’t say that. You know I don’t mean that.” Unless Milo did think that he meant that. That his words had somehow been warped and misshapen as some sort of accusation. It didn’t seem to matter that Rio’s concern came from a place of genuine concern. Realistic fear, even. “No. They’re not. She almost died. On more occasions than one. And I didn’t even know about it until she tried to impale me.” Not that he blamed her for it at all, but he certainly remembered how awful Skye had felt the next day. Milo’s insistence that everything was fine was only more concerning, but talking about it now was only going to make things worse. 

At least Milo seemed just as eager to change the subject. Perhaps it was for the best that the two stopped getting so deep for a minute. Neither of them seemed to have especially optimistic pasts. There wasn’t much space for them to dig without hitting something dark and depressing. “I don’t want you to hurt people either. So let’s prove her wrong.” He insisted, using it as the last words before Milo suggested a severely rigged game to break the tension. “Wow. Doesn’t exactly sound very fair.” Rio laughed, pushed away and swung his arms to pull himself away from Milo and create some space between the two. “Can’t imagine who’ll win this one” 

“Oh, shit, no way.” Milo wasn’t sure why it was such a surprising revelation. His parents had been close with Dani’s, after all. They probably still were, although they had no idea the Edwards had made it a family mission to rid the world of vampires. White Crest was a small town, everybody knew everybody. If Orion’s dad was a doctor then it only made sense he had crossed paths with Allison and Oliver Summers. Once or twice at the very least. “I guess that’s probably true… weird, huh?” He chose not to react to Orion mentioning his father’s death. He hadn’t been expecting it, exactly. But he didn’t talk about his parents, and it was something that hadn’t escaped his notice during the time they had known each other. He could only hope his passing hadn’t been complicated, or traumatic. But in the same way he secretly knew Rio’s scars had a terrible story, he suspected there might be far more to this than he was being told. It was very obvious Rio wanted to move on from the subject though, so he shelved the information for a possible later date.  

Listening to his friend as he began to insist his words were being taken in the wrong way, he wanted so badly to be angry. He was angry, but he was also determined not to let his attitude ruin this day. He had pushed so many people away by getting defensive, even an idiot could see the patterns in his behaviour, but Orion was the one person he wanted by his side. Swallowing his frustration, his longing to point out how ridiculous it was to tell him he was trustworthy and then lecture him on the danger of drugs, iiIt was something his parents would do, one of the many reasons he found them insufferable to live with. But Orion was different, just the fact that he was attempting to backtrack told him that much. It was definitely an issue, but an issue for another time. And he knew the faster he dropped the subject, the less likely Orion would be to try and hide new information from him, or watch him closely for any reckless decision making. “Sounds like she was tweaking to me.” He muttered, brushing off the mention of violence. It wouldn’t be the first time an addict lost their cool, but that didn’t mean their drug of choice couldn’t be considered recreational.  

Offering Rio a smile as he struggled to put the conversation behind him, he was grateful he apparently wasn’t the only one trying to do so. It had been a surprisingly deep discussion, and neither of them had been prepared for it. He was incredibly grateful for the understanding, for the support, for the fact that Orion had been so willing to listen. But he also wanted nothing more than to slip back into their light-hearted banter. “Yeah, let’s prove her wrong.” He agreed, his smile growing when his friend reacted to his suggestion. It was too easy to laugh, to let go of the awkwardness, and the tension that had come from allowing themselves to be so vulnerable. “Winner gets to pick the next movie.” He said, throwing himself into the water before Rio could respond. He couldn’t remember feeling this close to anybody other than Dani. And it felt good. It felt so good to have someone. As the water closed in around him, pressing in on him from all sides, he realised the warmth spreading outwards from his chest had nothing to do with the pool heaters, and everything to do with Orion Quinn. 

#milo and orion #c:orion #drug manipulation tw #addiction tw #self harm tw #physical abuse tw #emotional abuse tw

[vegalocity]

18/22/33 for Spicynoodleshipping? (MK being a bit of a tease during the secret phase of him and Red...)

Prompt meme

18. Teasing kisses where one person blows air into the other’s mouth and runs away. // 22. A kiss that is leading to more, but is interrupted by a third party. // 33.An unexpected kiss that shocks the one receiving it.

I refuse to have EVERYTHING in this continuity be borderline angsty so here have some cute

--

It probably wasn't the best idea to start treating their one-on-one encounters as more of a game, to let the others sort themselves out while they engaged in a friendly bout of sparring not unlike a pair of grade school boys who would wrastle eachother to show affection. But it was kind of hard to take someone as a serious threat when you know the exact buttons to push to turn them into a blushing mess. It didn't exactly hurt that Xiaotian had learned through a fair bit of Red Son's pre-activity ranting, that his parents didn't have a large scale plan at the moment and were mostly stalling for time waiting for correspondance from a possibly ally whom apparently had an abundance of magical items, though Red Son was pretty sure nothing would come of it, so most of the 'schemes' they'd been sending him on were mostly to keep Xiaotian and his friends on their toes and maybe snatch the staff if they got lucky.

It's not like there were any real stakes beyond this or that fancy sounding artifact that didn't even do anything beyond be old and valuable or even simple bragging rights no matter who won. (And Red Son didn't really care about the artifacts either since they were generally incompatible with DBK's power armor for 'whatever reason' so they'd be snuck back wherever they were stolen from in a week's time or so anyway) So there wasn't really an issue in just kinda... letting the mood be light as the two traded barbs and punches in equal measure.

And if the area they ended up in while battling was particularly removed from prying eyes then what was the harm in turning the insults into.. something a little more fun?

“Do you ever wear clothes that fit you? I'd love to see those arms in the daylight for once.” Xiaotian lost his footing at the coy comment and Red Son took the opportunity to slam him against a wall, length of his forearm pressing against his neck in a way that was only a little erotic. And oh.. that smirk was just cheating.

But he didn't pin Xiaotian's arms-“Big words from someone who covers a butt like that in a long coat.” Red Son squawcked and pulled away in shock, face lighting up as red as his hair and Xiaotian used the sudden distance to grab Red Son's wrists and spin them around, now pinning him to the wall. “Though I should be lucky that means I'm the only one who gets to see it.”  he huffed in Red Son's ear, and it was tempting to end this encounter one particular way... Soon they were just inches away, Xiaotian leaned in, waiting until Red Son's eyes flickered closed and he closed the distance remaining.

And then he blew a puff of air into Red Son's mouth, and turned heel, sprinting away cackling. “SEE YOU NEXT TIME HOT STUFF!”

“NOODLE BOY”

--

“I won't lie to you Noodle Boy, I've had multiple fantasies that started out exactly like this.”  'this' in question being Xiaotian pinning Red Son to the ground with the staff pressed onto his shoulders to ensure he couldn't move.

Xiaotian pulled away, though not by much, face lighting up with a blush he couldn't fight back, before proper embarrassment pulled in “Dude!” he whispered harshly “We're not exactly alone right now!”

“I think my upgrades to those Bull Clones will keep your dragon friend distracted for some time.” Sure enough the sound of rapid laser fire echoed from the other room and as was the sound of Xiaojiao swearing harshly.

“Red!”

“Relax, it's nonlethal.” He rolled his eyes “They don't even really hurt, it's the laser equivalent of knockout gas when fired point blank.”

“Still not cool dude.”

Red Son huffed at his disapproval, looking away to ponder, before smirking up at him.

“Would it help if I told you what usually happens after you pin me down and loom over me just like this?”

Unfortunately, they were back on topic and Xiaotian couldn't find the breath to tell him to knock it off. So Red Son took his silence as an encouragement to continue.

“So right about now, You'll usually say something clever about me being unable to fight you like this, to which I'd respond that I could combust my entire body and see how much you'd like to stay pinned to that, and so you'd reply that you know I wouldn't, because you know how much I love being pinned down by you.”

And oh did Xiaotian know that intimately.

“O-Oh?”

“Mmhm, and putting the staff on me without my gauntlet means I can't do anything but squirm while you do what you want with me.”

Wow was it easy for this situation to flip on its head.

“And-...And what do I usually want with you?” God that tone could drive him insane if he let it...He leaned in until his nose brushed Red Son's. His breathing must have been heavy, of the self pleased smirk Red Son had on his face indicated anything.

“Well that's where it varies, Sometimes quick sometimes slow, sometimes your hands go beneath my clothes, sometimes they rip them off, sometimes you'll tease me until I'm absolutely mindless with desire, other times you'll-Mph!”

Dammit only Red Son could get him riled up like this. The kiss was a little sloppy, but Xiaotian refused to care as his hands slid off the staff, the weight alone keeping Red Son pinned and sliding his hands down his chest, the familiar terrain made strange by the jacket. Oh man just the mental image had him all hot and bothered, but how would Red Son react if he decided to DO some of that? That last one sounded really tempt-

“XIAOTIAN” Xiaojiao's voice cut through the haze and snapped him from the lustful trance. He darted off of Red Son, taking the staff with him, and sure enough a split second later Xiaojiao burst intot he entryway, sword hefted onto her shoulder and clearly frustrated. “Let's get the hell out of here If I have to smash another robot while you're playing Hungry Hungry Hippos with Red Son I am gonna be pissed.”

Red Son hadn't gotten up from the floor, and must have ooked as though he couldn't from the distance, Xiaotian spared him one last glance, and despite his own frustration at their fun being interrupted, Red Son shot him a smirk, before pulling out a silver flip phone. Xiaotian felt his own blue burner phone vibrate with an oncoming text and pretended the flush on his face was from battle exertion.

–

“Noodle Boy! The time of reckoning has come!” Just because things had gotten more... casual between them didn't mean Red Son would ever tone down the theatrics. “The staff is ours now!” 'ours' being more metaphorical than t usually was granted Red Son was standing alone as he usually was recently. So thankfully Xiaotian didn't have to put away his amused grin as Red Sonc ontinued his pre-prepared spiel.

“You see Noodle Boy I've been spending our past soiree's observing! Learning... Uhm... Planning...and you see i've noticed a... pattern...” Though it seemed like he was running out of steam. “In regards to your fighting-Aren't you going to interrupt me with inane commentary?!”

“Nah, you worked hard on this speech.” Xiaotian waved a hand before winking “You're cute when you get all passionate.”

Red Son cleared his throat a bit awkwardly and huffed “As-As I was saying then... In regards to your fighting I've noticed that while the staff is your greatest weapon it's also  your only weapon. Therefore, I would challenge you to a battle with neither weapons nor magic, we put our arms down and try to kill eachother like civilized people!”

“I'm game.” He shrunk the staff down and hid it in its usual place, and began to stretch. Honestly Red Son wasn't even being subtle this time.

“Wait- Really?”

Xiaotian strode forward until he was nearly brushing Red Son's chest with his own. Right there in public. Sure nobody was around, but they could have been.

“Sure.” He leaned forward and placed a feather light kiss to his still bewildered sort-of-enemy-sort-of-boyfriend. “If you can catch me first!” he spun on his heel and darted away as Red Son was still re-engaging his brain from the action and heard a shreik of outrage

--

Send me stuff!

#Sometimes you just want enemies to lovers secret relationship style #to involve things getting less and less serious because you can't take the other person as a real threat naymore #because you know what they look like when their face is all flushed from laughing uncontrollably and other soppy shit #Spicynoodleshipping #Vega writes stories too #Letters to Vega #Anonymous #The Arrangement AU

[thingswhatareawesome]

what brings you home

title: what brings you home fandom: Tiger and Bunny pairing: Barnaby/Kotetsu (taibani) word count: 1165 summary: For Barnaby, there was nothing special about the concept of ‘home’, and no one special waiting for him there. Barnaby and what it means to come home, then and now.

For the March Flash fiction day four prompt: Coming Home, and day five prompt: Trapped Together.

There was an art print Barnaby once saw in the window display of a kitschy, cluttered shop that read ‘Life takes you unexpected places, love brings you home’. It was a foolish, sentimental statement, cloying, and he knew better: there was no good or comfort that came from coming home.

He’d learned the truth the hard way when he was only four, when pulling open the front door revealed a nightmare that haunted his every moment for the next twenty years. And he continued to learn it even once he was grown each time he returned to an echoing, empty apartment. Home meant being alone, meant solitude eased only by the white-bright glare of his computer in the dark as he sifted for fragmented clues about his parents’ murder in the debris of the internet, night after night.

He faintly remembered saying I’m back or I’m home when he returned to the house as a boy. He kept doing so out of habit, for a while, after. Then eventually he stopped. There was no need for it. What was the point?

For Barnaby, there was nothing special about the concept of ‘home’, and no one special waiting for him there. Home was just a place to exist and get more work done until it was daylight again.

**

Barnaby heard voices chattering and laughter even before he opened the front door, the sound only pausing as he stepped inside and said, “I’m home.”

“Welcome home,” two voices chorused in unison. Peeking back over the sofa, Kaede waved excitedly.

“Dad’s showing me your honeymoon photos!” Next to her, her father pursed his lips and made exaggerated smooch-faces at Barnaby until he got close enough to lean over the back of the couch and kiss him (briefly, though obviously a second too long according to Kaede’s standards for parental pda, considering the grossed-out ‘bleah’ noise she made.)

Wrapping his arms around Kotetsu’s neck, Barnaby bent down to rest his chin on his husband’s head. “Honeymoon photos, eh?” Placed on the coffee table before the pair, his laptop’s holoscreen displayed a slideshow, still switching from one picture to another to another. “Did your father show you the time he lost his wallet?”

Kotetsu flailed, “HEY,” and Kaede dissolved into giggles. Barnaby had taken no less than ten photographs of his (brand new) husband frantically slapping at his pockets while standing next to the resort’s brightly-colored bar, then another five zooming closer and closer in on the hand where Kotetsu was very obviously already holding it.

“Yeeeees!” she laughed, “I made him show me. And the one where the seagull stole his hat!”

Barnaby couldn’t help but smile while being jostled around as Kotetsu shook his fist. “Damned bird, I had to spend almost my entire minute of Hundred Power to get it back! And is this how it’s going to be now, you two ganging up on me all the time?” he complained.

“Yep!”

“Mm-hm.” Kaede and Barnaby grinned at each other after answering simultaneously, then fistbumped, while Kotetsu huffed.

Barnaby leaned down further to murmur into his husband’s ear, “The photos in the elevator…?”

“Not included!” Kotetsu shouted, then froze with a wide-eyed panicked look at Kaede’s curious expression. “The hotel’s elevator broke down, we were stuck inside, very boring, nothing happened, Bunny took photos for no reason, they turned out bad so I deleted them, next question!”

Waving her hands, Kaede crossed her arms in an X, yelling to be heard over her father’s babble, “Enough! Not asking, I do not want to know!”

“Well good, because there’s nothing to ask about, and I wouldn’t tell you even if you did, because there’s nothing to tell.” Kotetsu crossed his arms and pouted, giving Barnaby a narrow-eyed glare out of the corner of his eye.

Barnaby smiled back at him beatifically, radiating innocence.

(He knew where to find those photos, and how to get them back even if Kotetsu had deleted them. And what else was he supposed to do when they’d gotten trapped together in an elevator for nearly two hours, after swearing to not use their powers if they could possibly help it since they were on vacation, on their honeymoon. But the air in the elevator had gotten stuffy and uncomfortable and Kotetsu decided, as he was sometimes wont to do, he might as well take off his shirt. His golden tan skin had quickly started to shimmer as he sweat, and then a droplet had collected in the hollow between his collarbones, finally slowly trailing down in a glittering trail over Kotetsu’s pecs and over the muscles of his defined abs….

What was Barnaby supposed to do? It was his honeymoon, after all. And anyway, they left that elevator in perfect condition when it finally resumed service, clothing straightened and tucked in, and hair smoothed down back into place—so if before then someone had gotten supremely wrecked by another someone, Barnaby needed souvenirs. Other than the ache in his jaw afterwards that had long since faded but that he still remembered fondly, and his recollection of the way his husband staggered as they stepped out into the lobby finally, gait unsteady until Barnaby wrapped his arm around the other man’s waist.)

Barnaby’s smile grew smug, and he hid it in his husband’s hair as he pressed a kiss to the top of his head. Kotetsu grumped, then clasped Barnaby’s hands where they still crossed over his chest, until they were hand in hand, hand in hand. And they stayed that way, Barnaby still embracing him from behind, as the three settled down again to watch the remainder of the photos in the slideshow in comfortable silence.

*

Home, for Barnaby, meant being together with others. Home meant new family, meant friends, meant someone he loved more than he’d ever believed was even possible. Home meant clutter and noise and turning his computer off before sliding into bed with someone he could hold, someone who held him, who wrapped their arms around him and promised to never let him go.

Love had brought him home.

*

Kotetsu came up behind him as Barnaby hung the framed art up on the wall and straightened it carefully. It was a simple piece, hand-done calligraphy he’d found on an artist’s website, delicately illustrated with a small sketch of a tiger and a rabbit tucked down near the artist’s signature, just as Barnaby requested.

Peering at it closely, he nudged Barnaby’s shoulder gently with his own, “Kind of a sentimental saying, eh, Bunny?”

“It’s a good sentiment, though,” he answered. “It’s true.” Kotetsu hmmed, nodding. Leaning against him, Kotetsu wrapped an arm around his shoulders, and, arm sliding around his husband’s waist, Barnaby leaned back against him in return.

#tiger and bunny #taibani #fanfiction #March Flash Fiction #fluff

[thebibliomancer]

Tides of the Dark Crystal liveblog pt 23

Tides of the Dark Crystal by J.M. Lee because I want to know Amri’s plan!

Last times on book: Amri and co are on a quest to unite all the Gelfling against the Skeksis. They’ve succeeded with the Sifa of Cera-Na and the Dousan of the Wellspring but learn that All-Maudra Mayrin was killed by the Skeksis while they were avoiding ever going to Ha’rar. Mayrin’s eldest daughter and Skeksis loyalist Seladon has been named new All-Maudra. Fearing that the Vapra won’t rise up in resistance, the group is lost for solutions until Amri dreams he falls into the ocean and has a cryptic conversation with the urRu Swimmer.

Chapter 23

Team Naia climb a mountain but find a mysterious tower

They planned to leave that evening, when they could move under the cover of the night. Until then, Amri found a corner of the cabin and crawled under a pile of pillows, blocking out the daylight. He dreamed of the stone tree in the belly of Grot. He stood before it as it died, limbs like roots, or roots like limbs. Knowing that if he could be breathed in by the ancient thing, flow into its veins and up its trunk, when he emerged on the other side, he would be a pink blossom on the slender boughs of the Sanctuary Tree.

He heard whispers. A thousand voices, all as one. The shadows moved with infinite limbs. When he woke, it took everything he had not to slap away the spider tapping the back of his hand.

The protags are probably used to it at this point but oh no I would freak out. I do not like crawlies crawling on me.

Anyway, aside from waking up Amri for The Plan, Tavra also has a favor to ask Amri.

“In case anything should happen to me tonight. Someday, when the fires are lit. When it’s safe. Would you find my sister Brea and tell her what happened? I want her to know that I didn’t abandon her.”

“No,” he said. “I’ll make sure you get to tell her yourself.”

Has anyone in fiction ever answered otherwise?

It feels like that kind of thing only comes up so the other person can go ‘no you’re totally going to survive so you can tell her yourself’ or ‘we’ll tell her together’ or something.

Protagonists try to be optimistic about their chances, I guess.

I think I’ve seen maybe one example where a more world-weary character just instantly agreed to a request like that, recognizing the asker wanted reassurance that things would be taken care of if the worst happened.

Anyway.

Naia brings a cloak for Amri to wear when they go out and climb up a snowy mountain. Its in Silverling white and silver which Amri feels weird about since the Gelfling tribes like to color code just like people from Avatar. But he recognizes its better for the mountains so puts it on.

“Do I look like a Silverling?” he asked, pulling his hair out from inside the cloak collar.

Naia’s ears turned pink. She looked away and mumbled, “Not a bit.”

Shiiiiiiiiiiip teeeeeeeeeease.

If they hold hands at this rate, they’re going to explode.

Tae comes in and tells them its time to go, the Vapra are gathering at the citadel but neither the Skeksis nor Seladon have shown yet. And even with the Waystar trees, its going to be getting very dark on the mountain.

While the team is climbing the mountain to do the Plan with the Waystar trees, Onica is basically going to be the getaway driver. She’s staying on the boat ready to go. If anything goes wrong, they can fly off the mountain to the boat and sail away to fight another day.

This vague the Plan has multiple angles figured out. Its a good the Plan.

Onica also tells them that she believes in them. Aww. Onica encouragement is truly precious.

I’m so glad that we’ve gotten so much Onica material in this book. She’s great.

Team Naia leave the boat and the wharf (Amri looking back to see if the Swimmer shows but she does not) and hurry through the city.

As Tae had said, the Vapra of Ha’rar were already gathering near the steps that led up to the citadel. Huddled in their silver cloaks, whispering quietly among themselves. Amri heard the consistent sound of fear, and apprehension. He heard Seladon’s name, and Tavra’s. The sibilant sounds of the Skeksis Lords’ names. skekUng, skekZok. skekSil, the Chamberlain. skekSo, the Emperor.

I wonder if all of them are showing up. That’s a big gathering of Skeksises.

But the team keeps going to where Ha’rar meets the mountain and then up a narrow winding stairway.

There’s more buildings of Ha’rar even built into the mountain but the stairway becomes a steep footpath and then nothing. Just trudging through deep snow in a mountain side forest. In the dark. It’s evening. For everyone that’s not Amri or Tavra, the footing becomes really uncertain.

“I can’t see a thing. Is this what it’s been like for you, traveling in the day?” Naia asked as they reached a rocky ledge too high to step over. He made short work of it and crouched on the top, grabbing Naia’s hand and pulling her up and over. She didn’t wait for him to say yes before she added, “I didn’t realize.”

“It’s all right,” he said. “Not everywhere in Thra is caves and rocks.” Though night and ice is close enough, he thought. Or at least he hoped it would be.

They stop to look at Ha’rar, which is described as looking like a painting at this distance. Maybe a matte painting. I miss matte paintings. They were so cool.

The team has reached a point where Tavra can’t guide them anymore because the wind changes the landscape too often so she tells them to follow the Waystars’ light but be careful of hidden crags.

Tae says

“Our path is up to you now, Amri.”

Something he’d longed to hear, but now that he had, it felt heavy on his shoulders. It was up to him to guide them -- and protect them from danger. He knelt and touched the freezing stones. Under the deep snow, the mountain path still existed. He could feel its sturdiness.

That rock sense thing sure is helpful.

Super helpful.

Amri even senses a building up ahead.

Not any building Tavra is familiar with but as she says not many people travel up here so if someone were to build something, not many people would know or care.

“It would be a nice way to live if you wanted to be alone,” Naia remarked.

“And if you didn’t mind freezing,” Kylan added, teeth chattering.

Hah! Good ol’ best boy Kylan.

He’s so quiet that he doesn’t feel as present as some of the other characters but he remains relevant to the plot and delightful.

Amri leads the group towards the mysterious building, which is a simple stone and ice tower. It looks abandoned from the outside and the place doesn’t seem too occupied or furnished on the inside but Kylan can tell that the hearth has been lit within the past couple days.

So its not abandoned, just austere.

They can’t stay long without losing their opportunity to reach the Gelfling of Ha’rar before the Skeksis do but they can stay long enough to warm up with a fire and hey, there’s a hearth right there.

While Kylan started the fire, Amri touched the parchments that were strewn across the stone worktable. The soft, cold paper was thick and fibrous, covered in ink-drawn maps and charts. He recognized the coastline of the Silver Sea, from Kylan’s book, meticulous and fine-detailed, every landform and eddy and bay lovingly titled and detailed. Cera-Na and her fingerlike headlands, even the sand river they’d taken into the desert. The Caves of Grot, the Claw Mountains. The long tail of the Black River, the lifeline of the Skarith Basin.

There were other charts, too, but they were not of the land. Amri recognized stars and the Sisters, the patterns of the wind drawn across the sky where it intersected with the path of the Brothers. The pictures of the seasons and the ninets, how the phases of the moons changed course as Thra moved through time and space.

Hmmm. And the maps are drawn in ink, too, and not dream-etched.

So I have my theory about whose house this might be. I’m a bit surprised that it is where it is but I have my theory.

I mean, its got to be an urRu, right? Not a Gelfling because its ink and not BURNING WITH YOUR MIND POWERS. Probably not a Skeksis because there’s one Skeksis who could live in such simple digs without succumbing to the unfathomable urge to bedazzle everything in sight.

And would we be so lucky to get a second urRu when there’s only a few chapters left? No, no. This is clearly the oddly mountain located house of urSan the Swimmer. All the way up on a mountain, the further place from the sea.

I like that the map including the desert implies that she just swam the sand rivers too. That’s commitment to your monomania.

Amri arranges the maps on the table to they form a jumbo map of the Skarith Land and is in awe at seeing his whole world (or at least the only important continent of it apparently) all at once like this and at how much of it he has personally seen since starting his journey with the group.

But there’s work to be done so he asks Tavra if she knows what she’s going to say for the Plan.

“Yes,” the Silverling spider replied. “I don’t know if it will be enough, but it is all I have. I can only hope that my words can move the Vapra to believe that there is hope... even without my mother and Seladon to guide them.”

“They still have you,” Naia assured her. “Even if your voice is small. If Amri’s right, and if Kylan can do what he did with the Sanctuary Tree, then...”

I like that their plans are always building up off their previous plans.

But before Naia can finish explaining the Plan there’s a crunching on the snow outside and the door is slammed open by an old familiar unexpected individual.

SHE! Her. skekSa the Mariner, who is just as confused to see the Gelflings here as they are to see here.

Its a small world after all, I guess.

Her menacing eyes fell upon Amri and his friends, then the star charts and sea maps. Amri found his hand on the hilt of Tavra’s sword. skekSa reached back and slammed the door, throwing the latch so there was no escape. She leveled the room with her gaze, hot breath steaming from her nostrils.

“Tell me, and I will let you live,” she growled. “Where is urSan the Swimmer?”

Dun dun dun?

#dark crystal #the dark crystal #Tides of the Dark Crystal #liveblog #Amri #Naia #Kylan #Tae #Onica #Tavra #another character

[ugdohyun]

let’s get it 😤

mun info

name/alias: ej age: 18 + pronouns: she/her/hers timezone: est (gmt-5? 4? wtf is daylights savings???) discord: cozyboy#6004 little trivia fact: tbh i’m a k-hiphop/rnb junkie so watch me pretend like i can rock lol

character info

character name: nam dohyun age: 25 zodiac sign: cancer (meh, is this even accurate? tbd) group/band/position: singer & rhythm guitarist for CTRL info links or quick points about your character: half-baked stats and bio are up. apologies for the messy messy bio; messy me was racing against the app deadline lmao. so instead, here are way too many tldr points about the boy: 

background

born to a borderline chaebol mother and a borderline b-list rockstar father who really shouldn’t have gotten married at all; but it’s a shotgun wedding made possible by the conception of ~yours truly~ 

his dad is quite literally terrible and among many things, a serial adulterer. the man leaves (more like kicked out at last...) when dohyun is no older than ten. nam is actually his mother’s last name, which he takes thereafter

does dohyun have daddy issues, you might ask? ermmm well, let’s just say he doesn’t even know or remember the man well enough to hate or miss him so it’s whatever

spoiled growing up b/c his family pities how he’s fatherless. but probably they’re more worried that if they don’t ‘love him enough’ (read: expensive gifts and lots of nagging) dohyun will end up like his good-for-nothing father *shudders in rich grandparent* ... but he just plays this weird leverage game with them to do whatever he wants, running around with his ragtag bands and whatnot

in reality, there’s a lot of gaslighting in both directions. an implicit cloud of blame and pity looms over dohyun’s head, like ‘damn if u didn’t pop into ur mommy’s womb, none of this would have ever happened.’ idk, he’s a living reminder of the most shameful thing that’s happened to this family. everyone’s hoping that dohyun’s not like his dad but deep inside, they kinda believe he’s fated to suck anyways...

prime piece of evidence no. 1: why the hell is he doing this rockstar thing ??? dohyun realizes it’s pretty shitty to do this to his mom and whoever else but... it just feels right. ‘music is my life’ yadada but it’s also just fun, and he thinks he’s pretty good at it. the continued chain of success and unexpected fame from his various musical stints seem to agree. sure he had to burn some bridges and breach a whole lot of trust with his family to get where he is but come on -- they thought he was going to be a huge bust anyways, no? just meeting expectations!

personality

dohyun can be... other-worldly. 4d, sure. he’s in his own realm a lot of the time. like everyone else around him is on one orbit? he’s on a one-man spaceship vibing on another. doesn’t mean he’s clueless though; he’s actually extremely perceptive (just cancer things... or the result of sussing and being sussed out by his family his entire life) but will pretend like he doesn’t notice things b/c it’s more convenient to not care

often told he has a natural charisma which helps as as a performer, i guess. but more than likely it’s just (1) his face (ngl he knows he’s pretty) or (2) people stick around b/c they want to see what wack ass shit he’s going to do or say next. definitely a bit of a showman in that regard. anyways, he’s probably a fun guy to be around?

his whole ‘larger than life’ public image is not fake per say, but dohyun in intimate settings is more of a grandpa soul than you’d think. gets very excited and also very existentially tired about things rather quickly. probably an introvert at heart who is way too talented at being an extrovert

funky antics and ‘cool kid’ vibes largely hide the fact that he does have aspirations / desires (he’s serious about his music and what he’s doing in the indie scene; ctrl is hitting big and he’s seemingly getting places) as well as really dark thoughts and insecurities shh

super open guy without actually being open. definitely that guy you think you know really well until you really start to think about it... and realize you really don’t know him at all. damn. he’ll often listen to others and lend them a shoulder to lean on or pour them a shot, but will never seek it out for himself. really his upbringing has made it difficult for him to receive affection or care without being skeptical af or feeling like he’s being pitied

he’s got a lot of growing and soul-searching to do / i’m still figuring stuff out and would love for u all to be part of it <3

wanted connections

umm page to come eventually but some quick ideas i’d like to see for dohyun: 

ctrl bandmates! so many fun dynamics and moments we should figure out -- very ready to make all the other bands jealous heh

a real trooper friend and confidant who doesn’t give up on him, even when he’s being a little dodgy shit

a squad to just set hongdae on fire with -- not literally but figuratively. like live for the nights you won’t remember ayy

exes, flames, 'are we just friends?’,  one-sided(?) crushes, and any variants. dohyun is entranced by the idea of love but is trash at it in practice (genetics, right? an empty excuse for his actual rship problems lol). definitely breaks hearts but gets his own smashed way harder so it’s even, okay?!

i really dig a good childhood friends trope; whether that’s like friends to lovers(?) or enemies or rivals or ‘how the hell are you two friends’ or whatever

someone he keeps running into in the most awkward or embarrassing situations only

someone who sees through his bs; and vice versa

musical collaborators, rivalries, mutual fans, anything really; “um i think i liked you better on stage / you are not what i expected” moments?

an antagonist. sorry this is vague af, but point being: i’m good with ‘negative’ plots too!

i swear i’m better at this 1-on-1, so please! let’s chat it up!

#UG.TALK #//ooc

[royalcordelia]

The Secret of Distance (1/?)

Summary: Anne and Gilbert embark on their journeys, but stay close to each other at heart. Courting across 1000 miles isn't easy, but they're more than willing to step up to the task. (A post s3 story).

Notes: I know starting another mc is not a healthy life choice, but I needed to write this story and I wanted it to have a bunch of chapters, so here it is! Enjoy!

~~*~~ 

There wasn’t much Anne could do except lay back on her unfamiliar bed at create constellations from the cracks in the ceiling. Her heart was so full in her chest that it weighed her down against her mattress, and she reveled in the feeling. Could a person die from so much happiness? Her mother’s book on the language of flowers laid against her breast right above her heart, and she swore its lingering traces of motherly love seeped into her skin like stale perfume in an empty bottle. 

 Diana’s quiet footsteps land in the doorway, but her beloved kindred spirit merely allowed Anne to exist in the quiet of the room. Anne’s happiness bled out of her like sun rays, and it was all Diana can do to keep looking at her.

Then, with the unexpected haste of a well cranked jack-in-the-box, Anne sat up in bed and gave Diana a stunned look.

“I want to hear the whole story,” Anne murmured, half-rushed, half dazed. “Whatever did you say to him?” 

Diana stepped into the room, admiring the cleanness of her bed across from Anne’s. She settled at the side of her best friend’s mattress and crinkled her eyebrows sheepishly.

“I might’ve read him the riot act after he told my father he wasn’t engaged,” Diana began. The guilt in her voice drained away and she grabbed Anne’s hand. “Dearest, he never received your letter. You should’ve seen his face when I told him there was one.” 

Anne’s jaw dropped. She stammered for words, “I...But I left it...How do you even miss a letter like that in broad daylight?” She blanched. Regret dripped into each of her words as she said, “Oh, I know exactly how. For instance, if a person where to, say,  tear up the letter before reading it and then throw it out her gable window…” Anne groaned. “What did it say!?” 

Diana, piecing together the rambles, grabbed Anne’s pen from her side table and handed it to her. 

“You can just ask him, you know.” 

Anne held the pen in her hand as if it were made of solid gold and jeweled with ancient crystals. For some reason the sight of it makes her remember him at her doorstep, chest heaving from running. His eyes had been filled with such overflowing devotion that Anne thought she’d drown the closer she grew to him, but there was no where else she wanted to be. The overwhelming feeling begins to fill her chest once more and she takes a deep breath.

“Are you scared of what he’ll say?” Diana questioned quietly. Shaking her head, Anne bit her lips and tried to remember the exact feeling of when Gilbert had kissed her.

“No, something tells me that anything he has to say will be such wonderful poetry.”

“Gilbert isn’t very poetic.” 

“On the contrary, dearest Diana, there is always something inherently poetic when a man reveals to you the contents of his heart.” 

Diana grabbed one of Anne’s pillows and stuffed it against her chest. For a moment, Anne wondered if it was insensitive, talking of love when Diana had ended her own romance with Jerry so abruptly. But then Diana smirked and plopped down unceremoniously on the bed.

“I see how it is! You kiss a boy once and suddenly you’re an expert?” she teased. A thrill went down Anne’s spine and she smothered a squeal with both hands over her face. 

“Three times, Diana! We kissed three times! ” she shrieked, so lovesick that Diana couldn’t help but laugh. She couldn’t wait until they told Cole, and Aunt Jo, and-

“You kissed whom three times, Anne?!” 

Anne and Diana’s laughter ended abruptly on their lips when Josie Pye came into the room. She was followed by the other three girls, who waited on baited breath for Anne’s answer. Biting back a chuckle, Anne did her best to keep her face neutral. They all looked so silly! Ruby’s eyes were wider than Anne knew they could be, and Tilly was pressing her lips together to physically lock back all of her questions. 

Anne and Diana righted themselves on the bed, backs straight like the proper ladies they were. She spoke in the most neutral tone she could muster -  which was not very impressive, considering how happy she was to be confessing that she had kissed - “Gilbert.”

Their jaws dropped to the floor with a silent BANG, and Anne wondered if maybe one of them still liked Gilbert, after all. Her doubt only lasted a second, and suddenly the room  erupted in shouts of triumph and delight and confusion. They threw questions at her, all of which Anne tried to answer as best she could.

“Gilbert Blythe!? Anne, you never said you liked him! When did you start-” 

“Earlier this year! Maybe always? Definitely always.” 

“Is he good at kissing?” 

“I don’t have much experience to base it off of, but it was incredibly perfect” 

“I thought he was engaged to-”

“I thought so too, but apparently he ended things with her to pursue his ‘unrequited love.’” 

“Unrequited love?” Diana cut in. “He really thought you didn’t return his feelings?” 

Anne shrugged.

“There were a lot of misunderstandings, I think. I still don’t know for sure how it all transpired.” 

There was a pause before Jane crossed her arms.

“Well, where is he?” 

A twinge of disappointment hit the back of Anne’s heart. This day had been so beautiful in ways that even she could not have imagined, but the entire summer could have been that way if she hadn’t been so…so foolish ! All they’d gotten was a few moments before he was swept away to Toronto. Her little twinge of disappointment was overshadowed by how proud she was, and how much she loved him, but it was present enough that her eyes fell to the floor. 

“He’s attending University of Toronto. Miss Stacey contacted a friend of hers, I think. He said it was imperative he arrive today. It’s quite a long train ride, so that’s where he is right now.” 

Anne couldn’t help but smile. How sweet he looked from the back of the carriage. She had half a mind that he would’ve given up college right then and there if she asked him to stay. As wonderful as it would have been to spend the afternoon in his arms, kissing and clearing up all the confusions, his future came first. Now that she was part of it, she didn’t feel so afraid to let him go off into that bright, expansive world.

“So I guess that means you’re courting him now,” Ruby said excitedly. 

Anne looked down at the pen in her hand, then at her group of friends. Was she? Anne wanted to court him, even if it was for a long time. Not to mention, he’d broken off his courtship for her. Anne’s stomach fell to the floor when a rush of affection overtook her. Gilbert Blythe had turned down a girl who was everything Anne had once wanted to be, and the Sorbonne, so that he could try again with her. 

“I...I suppose I am courting him, in a long distance sort of way,” Anne concluded carefully. “I’m adding that to my list of follow up questions. I want to know for sure.”

“We’re happy for you, Anne,” Diana said, placing her head on Anne’s shoulder. Resting her cheek on Diana’s new updo, Anne heaved a sigh of relief. What a gift days like today were, where Providence proved he had not left her behind. Wrapping her fingers around Diana’s, Anne brought their hands up to her lips. 

“Shocked, but happy,” Josie supplied in a Pye-ish voice. “But can we eat now? I came up to tell you lunch is ready?” 

The girls began to file down the hallway, their footsteps echoing against the tall walls of the house as they clambered down the stairs. Diana stood in the doorway once more, watching as Anne pressed a kiss to the pen in her hand and placed it on her bedside table. There’d be time for writing letters later. For now, Anne had her own future to step into once and for all.

~~*~~

During the moonlit peace of the evening was Anne’s favorite time to put her heart to paper. As she sat down at her new desk, she wondered if pen and paper had ever been put to better use.

Dear Gilbert, 

I look like my mother. I look so much like her, in fact, that for a brief moment I thought I was looking down at my own reflection. But the glorious name “Bertha” was scribed atop the portrait, and an equally lovely name was signed across the bottom, “Walter.” How those names fill me with such warmth to say on my lips. 

I do believe I’m leaving out an integral part of this story. Matthew and Marilla visited today. They had gone to see a woman I lived with as a child and brought with them a book on the language of flowers. (Expect some pressed blossoms in your near future, I have much I’d like to say to you!) The darling book had once belonged to my parents, and it was there my father sketched a portrait of my mother. 

I will be forever astonished at how a girl like me, who had such meager beginnings,  could come upon such a wonderful family! Not only Marilla and Matthew, but the kindred spirits I’ve collected along the way. (Of course, your name is written on that list and underlined twice.) Today has taught me an eternal appreciation for love, and I find myself overwhelmed by the intensity of it. I wonder if you know the feeling. 

As you’ll recall, I have several follow-up questions, but in exchange for your honest answers, I feel it’s only fair to offer you some explanations of my own. It’s just that I’m unsure where to begin. What do you already know? Hmm…The beginning is as good a place to start as any. 

Gilbert, you must understand that love is such a young concept to me. I have only been on the receiving side of love since shortly after arriving at Green Gables, before which, I’d never even observed it with my own eyes. I’ve had being loved by family mastered for quite some time, thanks to Marilla and Matthew, but allowing you to come into my heart was so much different.  Trying to translate what I’d read in books and compare it with what I truly felt was much harder than I anticipated. 

Oh, it wasn’t the loving part that was hard. Loving you is as easy and breathtaking as stargazing from my new window. But realizing it, letting it happen, allowing myself to believe that a person like you could care for me...that was where the difficulties arose. It wasn’t until everything was still and I was content that you hit me like a roll of thunder. I sat up in my bed and exclaimed, “I’m in love with Gilbert Blythe!” Gave Diana quite the scare. 

 I’m sorry it took so long for me to come to my senses. Part of me wonders what would have happened if I’d realized sooner. Nevertheless, I’m exceedingly grateful that you appeared at my doorstep today, as magnificent as ever, to take one last chance. 

You’re likely curious about the note I wrote you. To be honest, I cannot explain to you why you never received it. I left it right underneath the water jug on your kitchen table. I wonder where it is now. Thankfully, the contents of the letter were quite short and, in more ways than one, sweet. I’ve inserted a new copy inside this letter so that you can have what you were originally meant to have. 

There are more questions I have, but I think I’d rather hear what’s on your mind first. (Not that I can mail this until you write to me first with your return address.) There is one thing I will ask because, though I’m 99% certain I know the answer, I’d like to be entirely certain: are we courting? If you’re waiting to hear what I think on the matter first, I’d like to court you, even if it’s a four year process. Or longer. Truly, Gilbert, all I want is you. 

Oh - and how much does train fare cost from PEI to Toronto? I’d like to start saving as soon as possible to come see you. 

Alright, my love, I think I have sufficiently taken up an adequate amount of your time. Please know that I’m thinking of you during your first days of college, and I already miss you beyond words. 

Yours always, 

Anne 

(PS: Where in the world did you learn to kiss like that? No - don’t tell me, I don’t want to know.) 

#anne of green gables #anne with an e #shirbert #awae spoilers #tessa writes #catch this on ao3 too! #a girl sometimes just has to COPE.

[onwardintolight]

Read it on FFN here

~~~

Leia woke up late to the sound of wailing.

Ben’s wailing, coming from the living quarters.

Karabast, she muttered under her breath. What time was it?

She checked her chrono. 1230.

Ugh. Again?

Blinking back the sleep that threatened to pull her under once more, she groaned as she sat up.

Ben’s cries came more fiercely now, mixed with a few choice babbled syllables he’d been trying on for size lately. The cold, empty spot beside her in bed told her Han was out there with him. That was a relief. Their son had an escape artist streak; at least this time he wasn’t crawling around the house all on his own, looking to see how much trouble he could get into. Still, her heart sank. They were all about equal parenting, but it seemed like Han had been shouldering the greater burden as of late.

She fixed her eyes on the light streaming through the window, trying to get them to adjust. It didn’t really help. Her head still hurt; the room was still blurry. She forced herself to get up anyway.

Han looked at her apologetically when she finally lurched into the living quarters. “I was tryin’ to let you sleep,” he said. “I guess this little ruffian had other ideas. ‘M sorry, sweetheart.” Inexplicably, Ben had already stopped crying; he was now contentedly perched on Han’s hip, tugging at his hair.

“I’m sorry, Han, I should have been up hours ago; I should never have made you take care of Ben this long—”

“Hey,” he interrupted, acting affronted. “Made me? I chose to spend time with this little guy.” He ruffled Ben’s hair. “Besides, you needed to get some rest.”

She didn’t argue; she was too tired, and it would be a losing battle, anyway. He knew she’d been staying up half the night lately, unable to sleep. For no good reason, she thought angrily. It wasn’t so much that she couldn’t get any sleep when she lay down; it was that somehow, dragging herself into bed seemed like a near impossible task. She’d distract herself with pointless research or dumb holonet shows, watching the hours tick by, too weary to go through her bedtime rituals, too anxious to let her mind rest. Too afraid to face the possibility of another nightmare.

“Rest is overrated,” she grumbled. “I need some caf.”

She headed for the kitchen, but Han stepped in her way. “I’ve got it, sweetheart. You go sit down.”

She tried to step around him, but he blocked her again. Her ire spiked. “Han, stop it.”

“Go sit down.”


“Why? How incapable do you think I am? Last I checked, I don’t have the virus.”

“Leia—”

“Just let me do it.”

He raised his free arm placatingly. “Okay. Sure.” He stepped aside, frowning. She had probably pissed him off, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. She stepped into the kitchen and fumbled around in the cabinets for the ground caf. There wasn’t much left in the container, she noted with alarm. She should have ordered some more days ago. The way everything was in the galaxy right now, it would take forever to arrive. Somehow, the prospect of less caf over the coming days made her feel breathless, almost dizzy. She leaned against the counter, trying to get ahold of herself.

She was almost always on edge these days. Funny how the end of her time as a soldier didn’t signal the end of that. Truth be told, she didn’t know how to stop being that way.

It had gotten better, for a time—it had taken awhile for things to settle down before she had Ben, and in the meantime her Jedi training had helped her learn new techniques to calm herself (even if it simultaneously stirred up some deeper fears). Then there was that honeymoon phase of life with their new little family, that shaky and awkward but ultimately hopeful step she and Han had taken together into new territory. It had been a deeply happy experience overall, even if hard at times. Being together was a gift, thanks to a galaxy newly at peace, and she had treasured this weird, messy, beautiful, strangely domestic era in their life. She would miss it, when it was gone.

But all the same, she yearned to get back to work. She felt in her bones that she still had more to give to the galaxy, if only she had the opportunity. Han was itching to get back in the cockpit, too. It was past time to forge a new normal with her family, where they could all be who they fully were as they found new ways to grow and love together.

Apparently the galaxy had different plans.

During her parental leave, she’d taken time off because she chose to, and she’d been okay with that. She’d never expected this pandemic to come in later and take so many choices away. When people started getting sick on Corellia, no one had guessed how quickly it would spread, stopping the whole galaxy in its tracks. They’d been quarantining now for almost a month, and she didn’t know how much longer she could stand it. She even found herself missing the polite, insistent prattling of her protocol droid, T-2LC, who lately more often than not sat powered down in their home office with nothing to do.

Unfortunately, even if it weren’t for the pandemic, she had still been semi-exiled from the Republic government. Oh, it wasn’t as though it were official or anything—people still treated her with utmost respect, and she still counted several of those in leadership, Mon Mothma and Ackbar in particular, as dear friends. But the truth of the matter was that she had been gradually, quietly sidelined, ever since Kashyyyk. She did not regret in the slightest her actions at the time, but her angry outbursts and rogue behavior were not forgotten. The new government had truly taken off after the Battle of Jakku, right around the time Ben was born, and she had missed out on much of that formative time. After her parental leave was over, she had simply not been invited back.

That hurt.

Despite all that, she’d done her best to liason with the Alderaanian remnant, to take care of their needs and ensure they had adequate representation on Chandrila. In fact, she still had work to do on that, even if the virus had put much on hold.

But lately, she’d been doing nothing. She’d just been sitting around at home: restless, fatigued, and oddly enough, terrified.

The daylight outside the kitchen window disappeared into clouds, dimming everything around her.

It was strange. She’d been through countless battles; she’d seen so many horrors. And yet here she was, with a different kind of fear, one that seemed to have gripped her in ways deeper than she could have imagined. Not fear of the pandemic, per se, though of course she was worried about her family, about everyone she cared about, about the entire galaxy.

No, even more than that, Leia was terrified of who she was, of what she’d become. She hardly recognized the woman in the mirror anymore. The woman who was no longer consumed by the fight for galactic justice. The woman who had nowhere to channel her grief anymore, and no giant, all-important cause to distract her. She was alone with herself, now, and the longer this went on, the more she hated herself.

Swallowing, she forced herself to move. She dipped a measuring spoon into the ground caf, brought it to the caf maker. Her hand was unsteady, though; some spilled out on the counter. She muttered a curse under her breath and stabbed at the controls to get the thing running. It would do.

This pandemic had stirred something deep inside her. Instinct had kicked in—she needed to be back on the front lines, leading, making a difference. She needed to fight. But she couldn’t fight, not this time. Not when the enemy was a virus instead of an evil Empire. She felt desperate to do something besides sitting locked away at home. She’d always done something. But there was nothing for her to do now, no role they wanted her to fill. None of her skills that might be useful were needed. The true soldiers, this time, were the medics, the farmers and food suppliers, the workers providing what everyone needed.

She couldn’t fight. But she couldn’t seem to make herself back away from it, either. She was stuck.

The air felt heavy, thick. The smell of caf filled the room. She stared half-seeing as it slowly dripped into the carafe.

Why?

Why couldn’t she back down? Why couldn’t she just be content with isolating with her family? That was what was needed of her, after all. That was the way she was making a difference.

The problem was, it didn’t feel like enough.

It was never enough.

As long as she was fighting, she could at least say she was working to make Alderaan’s sacrifice count. Working to atone for her part in all that.

No, she challenged herself. That’s not how this works; you know better, now.

She sighed and turned away, shaking her head. She didn’t blame herself as much as she used to. At least, not on the surface. She’d come a long way since those first few years, in no small part thanks to Han. But still, shame had settled inside her core and refused to budge, no matter what she told it; it was shaped like a pointed finger forever turned inward, whispering of “should haves” and “should nows,” never letting her rest.

Those whispers had only gotten stronger lately, as the paralysis set in. The feeling of being trapped between fight or flight had settled on her as a heavy weight. She was depressed, she’d come to realize with a shock. It was hardly the first time, but she didn’t ever remember it being so destructive to her functionality, not even at her lowest of lows. In addition, her anxiety was hitting insane levels. Wartime levels; maybe even higher. Little things made her jump, took her right back—a sound that reminded her of blaster fire. The smell of something burning. The unexpected chime of the door. Ben’s cries.

For kriff’s sake, a slight note of anger in Han’s voice was nearly enough to make her panic and react to him in ways she hadn’t in years. Any hint of disappointment or even simple requests could send her into a meltdown, as she tried to prove to him (and even more so, to herself) that she really was capable, that she wasn’t as much to blame for everything as some inner part of her clearly still thought.

The clouds outside drew closer, and she felt, more than heard, a faint, distant rumble. For a moment, she remembered lightning on Appenza Peak, her old bedroom windows thrown open to see it. She pushed the image away.

To Han’s credit, he seemed to have caught on that something was amiss with her, moreso than normal. He’d been taking on even more responsibility with Ben lately, not snapping back (well, at least not usually), and treating her with vastly more grace than she felt like she deserved. His attempt to let her sleep in this morning warmed her heart, but at the same time, it speared her through with guilt like a blaster bolt. She should be better than this.

Where was the Leia that sucked it up and helped saved the galaxy? Where was the Leia who had commanded troops and put her life on the line again and again? Yes, that Leia had suffered greatly and had been dealing with no small amount of PTSD, but somehow she’d gotten through and fought despite it all. Perhaps that Leia would have stayed up most of the night as she’d done the night before—probably intent on the distraction of supply charts and strategies instead of wandering their flat aimlessly—but that Leia would have also forced herself awake the next morning and worked until she practically made herself sick.

That Leia had definitely not been healthy, but she was functional.

At least that Leia got stuff done.

Now, she was useless. She was just as haunted by everything that had happened, if not more so, but she had nothing to do, nowhere to run.

Nowhere to run. Trapped.

Her neck was hurting again, and her arm—the places the torture droids had once injected her. The muscles in her shoulders and back felt tense, hard as a rock. She had a headache. The room spun a little. In fact, the room seemed not quite there. Was she really here?

“Leia?” Han appeared in the doorway, Ben still on his hip.

“I… I think I need to go sit down,” she mumbled.

He nodded, brows knit. “I’ll bring you a cup of caf when it’s done.”

She stumbled over to the couch, feeling vaguely relieved as it embraced her. Idly, she watched as the sky outside grew darker, more ominous. Force, she hoped it would storm. She could hardly take the thick stillness.

Minutes passed. She heard the sound of the caf maker finishing its work, Han rummaging in the cabinet, liquid being poured into a mug. He brought it out to her, and she took it, set it on the table beside her to cool. She sat back, hands over her eyes against the pressure, and managed a nod. “Thanks, darling,” she murmured.

He was being so sweet, so caring, and she was so, so grateful for him.

She also hated it. She hated that she had put him in a position where he felt like he had to do everything for her and Ben. Where he had to take care of her as if she were another child. He was suffering, too; aching to get back out among the stars, haunted by the reports of the sick and dying in the slums of his old homeworld. She should have been able to deal with all this herself.

But… she couldn’t. Not right now. Everything hurt. She could barely even catch a good breath, for kriff’s sake. She tried breathing in and out, slowly and deeply. Did it help? Perhaps a little, but it was hard to tell. All she wanted to do was curl up in a fetal position and just… not be there. Not be her, this new, useless Leia. She started to curl in on herself, but then she remembered curling up in a ball on the floor of the Death Star cell, and she stopped.

No.

She could almost feel the gaze of the cell guards, hear the breath of Vader. Instead, she leaned forward and focused on her breathing again—how was it possible that it was even shallower than before?

“Sweetheart? You okay?” Han’s voice came through the static in her head.

She started to nod, hands still over her eyes, then stopped. After a moment, she shook her head no instead. She felt deeply ashamed, but that was the truth of the matter—she wasn’t okay. Not at all.

Vaguely, she heard Ben babbling on the floor, the sound of him handling and biting some things that were most likely toys. Han must have distracted him for the moment. She decided she didn’t have the energy to care all that much what Han had given him to play with; she’d trust his judgment for now.

“Turn around,” Han said, sitting beside her. She felt his hands start to rub at her neck, her shoulders. She let out a shaky breath. It felt so good.

His touch was also real, here, now—unlike Vader, the guards, the cell, or that room of horrors in Cloud City. She remembered the exercises Luke had taught her, and she tuned into the sensations, focusing on them, letting everything else fall away. Emptying herself of all but this moment, his hands, her muscles… she was a cup to be filled up.

Her breath finally slowed, deepened, and tears filled her eyes. Gratitude, relief, frustration, grief… it all threatened to spill out. Her breath hitched again.

“Breathe, Leia. It’s okay.”

“What the hell is wrong with me?” she whispered. “I’m so sorry, Han, I don’t know why I’m like this, I don’t know who I am anymore….” She turned and lay her head on his shoulder, and he pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her.

“Sweetheart,” he said finally, “you’ve been through a hell of a lot of trauma. My guess? Now that you’re forced to relax, now that you can’t fight, it’s all tryin’ to come out, shoutin’ at you to deal with it. That’s probably a good thing, you know, because it means you’re safe now. You’ve gotta take some time to heal.”

Reluctantly, she nodded. She recognized the truth in his words. He’d clearly learned a lot in his own therapy sessions post-carbonite, as much as he’d complained about them. Maybe it was time to look into that for herself again, too. She could hardly be any more of a mess.

“I… I don’t know what to do,” she said. “I don’t know how to deal with it. I’ve been a terrible person to be around, lately, and I’m so sorry, I don’t know why I can’t just manage—“

“Sshhh,” he said. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I know. We’re in this together, okay? Let me help you. Let me help you rest.”

“I can’t, there’s so much I should—”

“I’m serious. You need to rest.” Han sighed. “You’re already a hero, Leia. You’ve helped save the whole goddamn galaxy. It’s okay to rest now. You need it.”

Leia stared at the wall. Then, finally, in a small voice, she said, “I’m afraid if I let myself rest, I’ll never be able to rise up and do what I need to do again.” A few moments passed; when she continued, her voice was edged with panic. “What if this is actually the real me? What if I never fully deal with it? What if I just… waste away, and become someone people pity?” She blinked back tears again. “I can’t stand the thought of people’s pity. Like, ‘Oh, she fought in the war, she was a great leader, it’s a shame what she’s let herself become—’”

“Leia, stop it. First of all, no way is anyone gonna pity you like that. Again, you’re a hero. You will always be a hero. People know who you really are—” he held up a hand to stop her from interrupting—“and that person is the person I still see before me right now. Someone’s who’s incredibly strong. Someone who will always fight for what’s right. Someone who, right now, is fighting a battle inside that’s, oh I dunno, at least as big as any she’s ever fought on the outside. It’s just that now, fighting looks like rest, like sleeping in late, like letting your husband help you. Like cuddling and feeding and loving on a baby. Like muddling through the day however you can while processing all the hell you’ve been through.”

The tears were falling, now. Leia shut her eyes, burying her head into Han’s chest. She tried to let his words sink in.

“We’re a team, Leia,” Han said, his voice filled with conviction. “Things are hard right now, but we’ll get through this together. You don’t have to have it all figured out on your own.”

She exhaled, nodding silently. She’d probably need to be reminded again before long, but for now, his words were enough to fade some of the shame.

A flash came, then a low rumble. Shakily, she stood up and walked over to the window, watching as the first few drops of rain pattered against it. Han followed, coming up to put his arm around her as they looked out on the storm together. She leaned against him.

It calmed her, somehow, seeing the tumult outside. It always had. She could almost smell the rain, feel the rush of the wind. She half wanted to rush out on their bedroom balcony and let it all drench her. Unfortunately, she was all too aware that their flat was near the top of one of Hanna City’s few towers.

Maybe she would later, once the lightning had passed. She would go out with Han, Ben in her arms, and teach her son how to laugh in the rain.

Her breaths were starting to come more fully now.

“Mama,” a little voice said, and she felt a tug at her pant leg. Ben had crawled over and was holding his arms up to her. She reached down and picked him up, pulled him into her embrace.

“I love you,” she whispered, and her heart felt suddenly full. He wriggled around, untamed as always, twisting in her arms so he could look out the window along with them, mouth open wide in wonder.

“Da,” he said, pointing a chubby little finger at the wild sky.

A bolt of lightning shrieked down from the clouds, followed by a clap of thunder that shook the whole flat. She caressed Ben’s curly head, ready to offer comfort. No need; he seemed to be enjoying the show as much as she was.

Another bolt of lightning struck the outskirts of the city, spectacular in its vivid starkness. For a moment, she felt like a finger of that light was breaking through, piercing the dense, sluggish dark inside her, leaving a far deeper imprint than the silhouette still burning in her eyes.

It was right then that she knew it: this heaviness wouldn’t last forever. Someday, perhaps not as long as she feared, this time of intense processing would be over. She’d get up from her rest, get back to being her more functional self again, and work once more to heal all the wrongs of the galaxy. Perhaps by then, she’d be doing it wholler, wiser. More healed, herself. And maybe, just maybe, the galaxy would be even better for it.

But in the meantime, she would tend to her wounds and embrace the lightning as it came.

In the meantime, she would finally learn how to rest.

~

~

~

Notes:

Thanks for taking the time to read this! I hope it encourages you like it did me, especially in these uncertain times when so many of us are dealing with the trauma of our own pandemic.

I literally wrote this as part of my own therapy for PTSD, so please be kind. If you are considering leaving a comment about how this "proves" Han and Leia were bad parents or that you think Leia would never struggle like this or need time to process her trauma, please refrain and take your false and harmful negativity elsewhere. It's hard enough for anyone struggling with PTSD to take the time to heal as it is. Thank you.

For those of you who are struggling with PTSD and/or other mental health issues, I see you. You are not weak; you are strong. You are fighting an incredibly difficult battle. It's okay if you weren't productive today. It's okay to rest. It's okay to take the time to heal. You are worth so much.

#Leia Organa #Han x Leia #HanLeia #SW fic #Star Wars fic #SW fanfic #Star Wars fanfic #hurt/comfort #trauma #PTSD #pandemic #Leia's ever-present affinity for storms #I literally wrote this as therapy #and it means a lot to me #I hope it means something to you too #and like I said in the notes at the bottom #please refrain from any negative comments #(not that I expect that y'all are generally awesome) #thank you #my fic #my fanfic #my writing #original otp #A Time to Heal #thoughts

[5lazarus]

Anders in Autumn, Ch. 14

the last of @cozy-autumn-prompts. :) Ch. 14, “you take my breath away”: Anders and Fenris come home. Read on AO3 here. The song I had running through my head for this chapter is Sam Cooke’s A Change is Gonna Come, and George Winston’s piano cover. Give it a listen, if you feel like it. :)

Leaves litter the streets of Kirkwall when they return. Fenris takes the horses to Hightown with him. They dawdle at first, at the gate down to Lowtown. Anders is afraid for him to leave. Over nearly a decade their relationship has shifted from mutual antipathy to grudging respect and now comradeship and this tender thing, and it is all so fragile he fears a chill wind will ruin it.

He asks, anxious, “When will I see you next?” Anything could happen while he is gone. The guards could come from him. The templars might invade the clinic. The Carta could firebomb it. Merrill could sacrifice him to Xebenkeck. She had wanted to talk to it, when Hawke accidentally summoned it.

Fenris says, “Tomorrow?” Anders’ face falls. He wanted him to say “tonight.” He nods and begins to descend the stairs, but Fenris stops him. They kiss quickly, conscious that they are a sight: a Ferelden human and a Tevene elf, with two very fine horses. They break apart before someone can try to pick their pockets. Fenris says, firmly this time, “Tomorrow.”

Anders trudges down to Lowtown, winding his way through the Foundry District and down into Darktown. The city goes from gold, trees resplendent in the crown of autumn, to dying and dirty too quickly. The old quarry walls block too much of the sun. He keeps his head down and eyes quick. No one seems to be watching him. The new clothes help.

Messere-Pounce-the-Second runs out to greet him, meowing excitedly. He’s visibly thinner--Merrill has actually kept him to his diet. Anders scoops him up and the cat rubs against his face. He’s purring.

“I should leave more often,” Anders tells him, hugging him close as Messere Pounce tucks his head under his chin and presses his cold nose to his neck. Cat in his arms, he walks into the clinic and is shocked. Merrill has whitewashed the place. She has little pots of elfroot and embrium arranged artistically through the front room. He hears a crash and a scream from the back room and sighs. He puts down Messere Pounce and goes to investigate.

Merrill is holding aloft a bottle of something green, lying prone on a heap of sacks. Anders sniffs the air: elfroot, and a lot of it. Truly a ridiculous amount, really. Even Merrill couldn’t smoke all that. He heaves his bag down. Merrill opens her eyes and grins sheepishly.

“Absinthe?” she inquires.

“Now?”

“Later!” she clarifies. “I made it myself. Isabela showed me how. I took a sack of sugar from one of Varric’s friends,” doubtless without permission, “and, well, in Rivain they drink it with rain water, but I didn’t think the water in Kirkwall would be ah, non-toxic enough. So I drew a bottle of water from the Viscount’s well.” Anders looks at her in disbelief. He resents how Hightown has the cleanest water while polluting the rest of the city. He resents that, because of the way the city itself is built, Hightown’s rainwater pours through the dirty gutters of Lowtown and floods Darktown. Every time it rains, he has to prepare for a cholera outbreak from the overflowing sewers. Every summer he prepares for malaria. Even he would not dare steal from the Viscount’s well, at least not just to make a drink. He would rather occupy it. He shakes his head and offers her a hand. She takes it, and he heaves her up.

“Thanks for whitewashing the place,” he says. “What did I miss?”

Athenril brought the elfroot for saving Mahanon’s life, apparently Imladris was a cousin, Hawke had left a bag of flaming dogshit on Varric’s doorstep, Isabela had received a very flirtatious letter from Fenris’ estranged sister, and Meredith had made three mages with connections to the underground Tranquil. Orsino had sent a letter to the Seekers. The spirits were getting restless--the very oldest ones, the ones who remembered the fall of Arlathan. The Veil was fraying. Six children in the alienage were showing signs of mana sensitivity, but Clan Sabrae was refusing to take anyone in until they had a new Keeper, First, and Second.

“But,” Merrill says, “the halla came back. As soon as they buried Marethari. So I’ve heard. So Athenril told Hawke.”

Anders pauses. Merrill fucked up, and he has no sympathy for what she did to her clan. She should have known better to make a deal with a spirit named Audacity, and one that was so obviously a Pride demon. He does pity her, perhaps, watching the convoluted ways her clan goes about ostracizing her but still makes sure she knows that they are thriving as much as they can without her. He decides not to touch it.

“Makes sense,” he says. “They have no one to train them.” Merrill flinches, and he feels a twinge of guilt. It’s like kicking a puppy, but how else will she learn?

“I suppose another clan will take them,” Merrill says, blinking rapidly. “Oh dear. I was never much of a teacher anyway. I should have asked Imladris Ashallin--but she can get so nasty.”

“She was nice enough to me,” Anders shrugs. “Mostly ignored me, to be honest. Spent a lot of time in the woods. Her husband was a lot of fun, though.”

“Ah, Mahanon, he’s the heart and soul,” Merrill smiles. “Good singer, too. Both of them are so intense though, no wonder you all got along. How was it with Fenris? When Hawke found out you were both gone, they were furious. They wanted to go with you. Varric had to talk them down out of tracking you down. Said they’d do more good telling Bran to leave the investigation off than going on the run.”

He smiles. Messere-Pounce-the-Second bats at his face with a paw and purrs insistently. He wants to be fed. Anders thinks about Fenris, the hungry kiss in the kitchen, the cool night in the orchard, and waking up to him throwing the covers off the bed--their bed, for two nights. “It was fine,” he says to the floor, putting the cat down. “Where did you put the food? What have you been feeding him?” He would sing his love to the Golden City and back, but he has to find the words and the rhythm first.

Merrill looks at him oddly. “You’re happy.”

Kirkwall in autumn is a riot of color and gloom, sea salt and rot coming off the docks, and its people taste of the tomb. Still the sun burns them clean. Anders considers the street scene outside the window before answering. There is still daylight, that perfect gold that illuminates even Darktown for an hour before twilight.

“Yes,” he says. His heart feels full, he can’t even snap at her to leave him alone. Merrill leaves anyway, eying him as she goes, and Anders stands in the middle of the bustle of the clinic and enjoys being home. Lirene is ladling out the evening meal. There are less people gathered than last month, since the dockworkers had gotten a raise. Their faces look less pinched. Perhaps it is the sun pooling in the pit of his stomach, keeping him buoyant, but Anders sees hope there too. He gets to work, chatting with his neighbors, hearing about the little ailments, the fears about the leftover Qunari (who still needed a meal, he’d have to ask Fenris to come with him and invite them over), someone was setting up a school in the alienage but the Ferelden children were invited too. 

Night falls and most people clear out, and Anders checks on his chronic patients. Samson always has a bed with him, after everything he has done for Kirkwall’s Circle and the Tranquil in particular, and he is struggling with withdrawal. Anders suspects he steals his lyrium, but he would rather him dose safely than risk an impure strain in the sewers. Reduce harm, he thinks: you can’t take it away entirely, but you can wear away at it. He keeps an eye on him while he makes his rounds.

He is taking inventory of what Athenril left--there is a story in this gift, he suspects, that he’ll never know--when Lirene comes in.

“That elf’s at the door again,” she says. “The grumpy one. You want me to turn him away? I’m going to head out for the night.”

His heart stops, and he can’t help a broad grin from spreading across his face. He wasn’t expecting him to come by, Fenris had told him tomorrow, has he missed him that much? Lirene smiles at the sight of him. She’s glad he’s glad, and Anders is elated. “Fenris?” he says. “Oh no, he’s alright. I’ll get him, you have a great night.”

“More than alright, I’d say,” Lirene murmurs, and she grabs her cloak and dagger and leaves quickly. Anders heads back out to the main room. Samson has fallen asleep in the chair in front of the fire, Maddox standing next to him patiently like Andraste’s mabari himself. Oh, Maker: fuck Meredith for ripping him away from himself, his friend, his lover.

“Maddox, you can sit if you want,” Anders says. Tranquil don’t have wants. It is worth a try anyway. Karl managed to break free briefly, that one time. Maybe this would help.

“I am fine,” Maddox says tonelessly. “The fire is acceptable and I do not tire.” He deserves more than that, more than dry bread and a warm fire. He deserves a bed of roses and his lover back, he deserves Samson whole and they both should have gotten a full life, a reliable home, not just a dry spot by the fire in a renegade mage’s clinic where at any moment this could all be shut down. They deserve more. They deserve the world.

He hears a cough, and looks to the door. Fenris is standing awkwardly at the threshold. He has changed back to his usual light armor. He’s cut his hair, too, shaved at the sides and short on top. He looks sharper and older and clearer. Anders loves it. He wants to run his fingers through it.

Fenris says, “I had some unexpected free time and thought you may want some company.” He looks bashful. Anders draws closer, caresses the edge of his jaw. Fenris closes his eyes and leans into the touch.

“I like the hair,” Anders murmurs. He thinks wildly, suddenly: but I haven’t shaved since we left Kirkwall. Before he has time to fret Fenris kisses him, and he sighs as Fenris rakes his nails up his back. Maddox and Samson are behind him, he does not want to think about them. Would Fenris take care of him like Samson takes care of Maddox, or would he leave him like a dog in the streets, like so many have left their broken mage partners? The abandoned mabari take care of them, though, and Samson and some of the others do too. He wouldn’t be left entirely bereft.

“What’s the matter?” Fenris says sharply. “You’re not--you’re thinking about something else.”

Anders holds him closer. “Tranquility,” he says. “Common punishment for mages who have lovers outside the Circle. Inside the Circle they just transfer you, if you’re lucky. I’m just…” He exhales, then burrows his nose in Fenris’ hair. “Brooding. Angry. Afraid. Like I always am. Just--let’s stay like this a moment.” A moment may be all he has. Eventually he can make himself let go. “I didn’t think you were coming tonight.” He tries to remember what he had been doing--taking stock, planning out poultices for the next week, he needs to draw up a kitchen rotation and see what cash Lirene has left, if he has enough to go to the market or if he’ll need to take Hawke with him.

“Are you busy?”

There is always work that needs doing, because if he does not do it, no one will. That is one thing Justice has taught him. If you see something that needs doing, do it, there’s no excuses. Feeling tired already, Anders smiles and says, “I can make time for you.”

They go for a walk, hand in hand, out to the wharves. The lanterns are lit and swinging in the careless breeze. Anders drinks it in. The trees are losing their leaves, but still they shine in the fairy-light. It is cool but not yet cold. Kirkwall is more temperate than Ferelden, and so much less harsh than the Anderfels. Half the city is out and about, everyone has their doors thrown open and there is a card game, a party, a fight at every corner. He waves at his neighbors--Lirene has Thrask of all people on her arm, as they sit outside her house with a few tankards. She toasts them as they walk by. Sketch, an apostate friend from the Mages’ Collective, rushes into them, slipping a piece of paper into his pocket as he goes. No one is chasing him. Sketch is always like that. Fenris looks at him curiously, but Anders shakes his head. He is not sure how much he wants him to know.

They make it to the wharves and it is a shock how clean it all is. He remembers the blood staining the cobbles, Kirkwall’s eternal rain. Fenris’ fingers tighten their grasp. Anders looks down and notices the grotting between the stones is clean. Someone spent time scrubbing the battle away. Two people dead, a few maimed, most recovering from their injuries, to fight another day, because there would be another battle, another day. But they won this one, and they will win the next. Kirkwall had wrested itself from its chains. One day the mages will do the same, and he will live to do it.

Justice walks the streets of Kirkwall, hand-in-hand. Fenris stops at the edge of the docks and they sit down, staring out at the bay. Behind them are those awful Tevinter statues, howling in despair. Before them the usual moon glimmers on the water, the second Satinalia moon starting to glimmer. Anders can feel the Veil trembling on his skin. He leans against Fenris. Fenris puts his arm around his waist.

“I am thinking,” Fenris murmurs, “of all my ancestors who must have died here.” Cheery: but Anders is just as morbid. “How many of them looked on this, and prayed to gods who would not answer to save them. To let them leave. And now I am here. And I am choosing to stay.”

The wind ruffles the feathers sewn into Ander’s shawl. He shivers, and Fenris draws him closer. Justice presses behind his eyes, drawn to the surface as they see the procession of those that made them. A ship creaks, moored for the winter, and they know it groans with the memory of so many families, lost. Anders thinks of the mages locked in the Gallows, restless as the Satinalia moon stirs the spirits up, and sighs.

“You take my breath away,” Fenris says suddenly. “I am not good with my words. This is new to me. This is all so new to me. But--you are breath-taking. Your commitment. How much you care. How much it hurts you, and how you persevere. And I like the beard.”

Anders wonders if it would be too much to just push him onto his back and take him there, or let him take him, whatever Fenris preferred, but Fenris made it clear he needed to pace himself, and besides, knowing his luck, Isabela would amble by, or fucking Cullen, one of those blond templar oafs. He kisses him instead, fiercely, intent on making him breathless. He gets a bit carried away, dragging him on top of him, worn planks digging into  his back, but Fenris is laughing, and he draws back, sheepish, saying, “Too much?”

But Fenris says, “Just enough, mage. You’re enough.”

#fenders #dragon age 2 #da2 #dragon age #dragon age fanfic #fenris/anders #anders/fenris #anders #fenris #merrill #maddox #samson #kirkwall #anders in autumn #fanfic #5lazarus #hes5thlazarus #co-zautumn

[nicolasnelson]

Sizzie fic - Wake from the Chaos [oneshot]

Title: Wake from the Chaos Relationship: Lizzie Saltzman/Sebastian Additional Tags: Sebastian's POV, Canon Compliant, Enemies to Lovers Words: 4,452

Summary: Everything changes when Sebastian meets Elizabeth Saltzman. He has a chance at life and love, even if it means sacrificing his freedom. But will he be able to win over Elizabeth after making her think she hallucinated him?

Requested by Anon // Prompt: The one-shot could be about Sebastian pov from the moment he woke up, what he thought about Lizzie, the school and etc.

[AO3 LINK]

Sebastian had never felt a connection quite like this. Elizabeth had called to him like a siren, but he’d been hesitant to heed the call. He’d been asleep for far too long, or something like sleep. A land of dreams, memories, unending agony over the loss of his beloved Cassandra.

But Elizabeth had awoken something in him. He knew not how his body came into contact with blood, only that the blood was rancid and inadequate. And yet, it was just enough for him to wander through this world again like a specter in the night.

He could feel a strong presence, a young lady, with the same fiery, passionate spirit as his great love. It had been impossible to ignore the call. Gazing upon her beauty after so many years of darkness had made him believe for just a minute that heaven could be real.

But no, that wasn’t the place for a man like him. He’d piled up the bodies higher than those on plague wagons. With his feast, he was a plague himself, tearing through whatever tasty piece of flesh crossed his path.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” the gorgeous siren said, and he had to laugh at the irony of it all. She could do nothing to harm him, even if she’d wanted to, and she really had no idea what he was capable of, what he’d done. What he could do. Even in this sad, miserable ghostlike state.

He could still hurt her. If he wanted to.

Sebastian should not have given his name when she asked. For it allowed her the opportunity to give hers, and that was the worst thing she could have done. It made her real, made her more than just a way out of this hellish nightmare. Elizabeth. He couldn’t help but see her as his savior, as beautiful as an angel, with the eyes of a devil. It awakened a desire in him he’d thought long dead.

And now was the moment to ask for her help, to finally be free. He had her exactly where he wanted as they sat by the lake. The question was halfway out of his mouth when Elizabeth noticed a figure holding a strange box in his hands.

Sebastian felt himself blinking away. It was hard to keep that form when Elizabeth was not focused on him.

And when he tried to reach for her again, he found the connection had broken. A familiar sadness settled inside him, a reminder that guys with pasts like his did not get happy endings. It had been foolish to think even for a moment that he might be able to have something with Elizabeth.

But he would not give up on his quest to restore his body. He was done festering in a box. So he found another way, another person he could reach. Not the right person, but it got him into the school. And once in there he found a willing ally, a lonely guy in desperate need of a friend.

Sebastian instructed the poor fool to give him just enough blood to wake his body. And once he could move freely, he arose from his box and bit into that lonely boy’s neck. And drank deep.

If it weren’t for Elizabeth, he would have killed the boy. He did not know the rules of this place. Therefore, he could not risk violating them, for fear he might never see Elizabeth again.

It was many days and many painful memories later before the idiotic vampires who managed to capture him let him see Elizabeth.

Her voice was music to his ears. “No more secrets.”

“That sounds reasonable,” he said sincerely. After all, it did sound reasonable, but he was careful not to word it as a promise. There were still a great many things he didn’t want Elizabeth to know.

She turned to look at him, but she didn’t greet him with the smile he was expecting. Elizabeth thought he was a hallucination, a sign that she was on the verge of another breakdown. He couldn’t blame her. That bumbling turnip had made her think she was imagining him. If it weren’t for Milton, he would have gotten Elizabeth to help revive him. He was certain she would have done it too. She’d played right into his hands like soft clay.

“You can see him?” Elizabeth asked the brunette girl beside her.

Milton stepped beside Sebastian. “Everyone can.”

Elizabeth’s eyes burned. “You two had better explain everything right now.”

“For hundreds of years I was trapped in a mere semblance of existence, a shadow of my former glory,” Sebastian began.

“The Spark Notes version,” Elizabeth said, cutting him off with a sharp glare.

“She means that you should get to the point,” Milton explained.

“Yes, I gathered as much. Just because I have been desiccated in a box for five hundred years does not mean my brain has rotted, you turnip.” Sebastian smacked the back of Milton’s head. “I have excellent deduction skills.”

“Well, your explanation skills are extremely lacking,” Elizabeth said, crossing her arms. “How can everyone see you now? You said you were desiccated.”

“Yes, the sparkling notes of it is that I was desiccated by a witch whom I loved very much. She did it to protect me from the Croatoan. That amulet your friend used to destroy that monster was given to me by her. Elizabeth, you must know that I never intended to hurt you.”

“You seduced me to, what, get me to restore your body?”

“Well, yes,” Sebastian admitted. “That is how it started at least. I felt drawn to you, as you were to me. I was able to reach your mind, to be seen by you, and—”

“You tried to take advantage of my feelings,” Elizabeth accused, fire on her tongue. “You let me think you were a real physical being. I told everyone about you. You didn’t think to mention to me, just once, that I was the only person who could see you? You can be as charming as you want, but I can see through you now, Saruman.”

“Lizzie, just let him speak,” Milton said.

She turned a fierce glare on him. “You’re just as bad as he is. How long have you known he was real? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Milton shrugged. “I didn’t think you’d handle it well.”

“How long, MG?”

“I don’t know. Four or five days. But I wasn’t sure if he was real. I thought I was hallucinating too, you know? And then I didn’t even agree to help him. He tricked Wes into reviving him.”

“You mean Wade?”

“Yeah, him. He’s alive. Don’t worry. He just used him to get enough blood to be revived. But I’m not defending him. What he did was wrong. He shouldn’t have lied to you, Lizzie.”

“And you shouldn’t have either, MG. I just can’t deal with you guys right now.” She grabbed the brunette girl’s arm. “Come on, Josie. Let’s let lying vampires lie.”

They stormed out of the gym.

“Well, that could have gone better,” Sebastian said.

Milton hung his head. “I should never have unchained you. Come on, I let you talk to Lizzie. You promised you’d come with me to the headmaster’s office.”

“Oh, yes, so he can decide whether to kill me or not. Lead the way, Milton, but you should be warned that I am prepared to take you hostage should the need arise.”

Milton rolled his eyes, looking resigned. “Let’s just see what Vardemus has to say.”

…

As it turned out, Vardemus was not in any rush to release Sebastian into the wild. He thought it would be better to punish Sebastian by enrolling him in the school.

Sebastian was very irked by this decision, but it wasn’t like he had anywhere else to go. So what if he had to attend a few dull classes? Besides, the closer he was to Elizabeth, the better chance he had at winning her back. She would be furious for a few days, but he knew how she felt about him. Waiting for Elizabeth would be nothing compared to the five hundred years he’d spent in that blasted box.

The headmaster provided him with a set of school uniforms, and he was allowed to spend a small amount of money at the bargain shop in town. With Milton and Kaleb’s supervision of course. They went at night since Sebastian did not have one of those fancy rings they wore that kept them from burning in the sun. It was remarkable how much technology had advanced in the time he’d been gone. He was fascinated by every aspect of it. All the flashing lights and startling sounds, the winds that blew out of air vents, the steel vessels that people steered through the streets.

But the townspeople he encountered were the worst. They all shot him suspicious glances and held their purses tightly against their chests. Even in ordinary clothes, he appeared as a threat. The human instinct was to avoid danger. Unless, of course, you were Elizabeth Saltzman.

She knocked on his door the morning of October the first with an unexpected gift for him.

“It’s a daylight ring, or it will be once I enchant it. I need you to come with me today.”

Sebastian smiled, thrilled at the invitation. He’d been waiting all week for Elizabeth to come to him, but he hadn’t expected it to happen so soon. “Why I would be delighted to accompany you, Elizabeth.”

She rolled her eyes and pushed past him. “Come on, let’s enchant this damn thing.”

“Will it protect me from the sun permanently?” Sebastian asked, curious.

“Not exactly. I have it in my power to undo the spell at any moment.” Elizabeth smirked, a hint of danger behind those eyes. “So I suggest you behave yourself.”

Elizabeth walked over to the window and pulled back the curtains enough to create a sliver of light across the wooden floorboards. Sebastian was surprised to see it was snowing outside, unusual weather for this time of year. Elizabeth explained that she needed sunlight for the spell to work. She claimed that the sunlight through the snow would be enough. Hopefully she was right.

Sebastian watched her while she worked. Her pale blond hair danced through the soft sunlight as she leaned over the ring she’d placed on the floor. She was kneeling beside it, muttering some incantation in a language Sebastian didn’t care to remember.

Her hair shifted, exposing her neck for a moment, and he remembered with startling clarity the hairstyle she had worn to the sports game. All of it pulled back in a fine braid, her neck completely visible for all to see. So beautiful. He’d always found a long elegant neck to be one of the most attractive features a woman could have. That and her sharp eyes, accentuated by those dark brows. It was enough to make his imagination run wild.

He’d felt an intimacy with her in that moment underground. He had revealed what he was to her, taking a calculated risk, sensing that the danger would draw her in. But she had laughed in his face, relieved rather than afraid. Now that he had seen the school she attended and the kind of vampires she interacted with on a day-to-day basis, he understood her reaction.

“Are you quite sure you know what you’re doing?” he asked her, watching as her brows pinched together. This could be some trick to get him to walk outside. Maybe he underestimated her fury.

“Be quiet. I’m trying to concentrate,” she snapped.

“As you wish.”

“Zip it.” She leveled a harsh glare on him. It sent a pleasant chill down Sebastian’s spine. He could watch Elizabeth glare at him all day. It was part of their dance. She would act like she hated him while repressing the desire she felt, and he would try to get her to admit to her feelings.

Elizabeth picked up the ring. It had a stunning blue stone in it, no doubt the source of its power. “Here, put it on. We’ve got to leave before we get snowed in.”

Sebastian was only too eager to follow her orders. That is, until they got to the door to the outside world. He feared the ring would do nothing to shield him.

Elizabeth grabbed his arm and forced him out into the snow. He waited for his skin to sizzle, for the pain to shoot through him, but all he felt was the cold. He reached out a hand to let the snowflakes fall onto his palm before Elizabeth yanked him to the side of the school.

So Elizabeth wasn’t on a mission of vengeance after all? She really wanted to spend time with him outside of the school. Sebastian couldn’t help but smirk. Today was an excellent chance for him to finally get her to admit she still had feelings for him. He remembered their kiss very well, despite not being in his real body at the time. He’d still felt everything, though her emotions had been amplified. His connection had been to her spirit after all.

Though he could no longer feel her emotions, he was getting particularly good at reading her. Today’s adventure was an invitation to get to know her better, and he quite liked that idea. He followed her towards what she called “their ride.”

The steel vessel she produced looked old and worn. He watched Elizabeth climb into it first and followed her movements, sitting in the seat next to her. It wasn’t so different from a carriage, though there were no horses to drive it. He wondered if it ran on magic. He’d seen some of these in the town when he went shopping with Kaleb and Milton, but he had too much pride to ask them about it.

Elizabeth put a key into the vessel and turned it. The vessel hummed to life. He could feel the whole thing vibrating like a violin string. Elizabeth fiddled with some more knobs and the vessel began moving.

Once they were on their way, Sebastian stared out the window, watching the town pass by. He’d only seen it at night, and he’d never seen it covered in snow. All the children looked so happy, building shapes out of snow and throwing balls of snow at each other. It looked fun. He wished he could join them. A nice game with the children, and then he’d have a lovely conversation with one of the parents about how sweet her kids were, and then he’d compel her to follow him, and he’d get a taste of that sweet motherly love. And by love he meant blood. Damn he was hungry.

The snow melted away as they headed farther down the winding streets. Open fields and trees flew past them. This vessel moved faster than any horse Sebastian had ever ridden, yet compared to his vampire speed running, it was incredibly slow. One of the oddities of being a vampire. Traveling by normal methods always felt like a leisurely stroll.

Elizabeth turned another knob and music poured forth from the vessel. Sebastian nearly jumped out of his seat, and Elizabeth laughed at him, a wicked smirk on her lips.

Sebastian started fiddling with all the buttons, partially because he was curious at what they all would do, but mostly because he wanted to get Elizabeth back for startling him.

“Would you literally stop pushing my buttons?”

“So, she finally speaks, eh? Sorry, but this modern machinery fascinates me.”

Elizabeth grabbed his hand to move it away from the buttons. That brief skin-to-skin contact felt like a blessing.

Sebastian used to opportunity to voice his hunger, but it was clear Elizabeth was not going to let him prey upon a human, even if he had no intention of killing them. He wouldn’t kill anyone around Elizabeth at the very least.

He steered the conversation back to how Elizabeth obviously fancied him, but she did not like that at all. Elizabeth made the vessel screech to a halt, and Sebastian barely caught himself on the dashboard.

“You command this vessel like a drunken pirate,” he complained.

Elizabeth said she’d just seen a deer. Sebastian perked up, his mind already on that sweet blood. Animal blood was not as good as human blood, of course, but he was hungry enough not to care. Besides, it had to be better than the rabbit blood they served at the Salvatore School. That atrocity was barely fit for consumption.

“Is this some kind of test?” Sebastian asked, certain that it was.

Elizabeth assured him it was.

He knew that getting out of the vessel and pursuing the deer would mean failing the test. In fact, he knew there likely was no deer. He had not smelled anything deer-like, but he could sense that Elizabeth needed time to calm down by herself. He stepped out of the vessel, and sure enough she sped away from him.

Sebastian laughed. She really thought she could out-drive a vampire? He could catch up to her in minutes. But first, he did want to settle the rumbling in his stomach.

He turned his head, sniffing the air for any sign of wildlife. There was a farm not too far from here with some cows. Adequate. But he was hoping when he got there, he’d find a farmer to snack on.

…

Sebastian caught up to Elizabeth after darkness had descended. His stomach was satisfied. He’d found a farmer and his wife to sate his hunger. But now he had another kind of hunger, one he hoped Elizabeth could help him fulfill.

He recognized the boy Elizabeth was talking to. It was the one from school who was neither a witch nor a vampire nor a werewolf. A phoenix. He wondered if it was true that he would resurrect from death. Sebastian was too curious not to test the theory. He snapped the boy’s neck with a satisfying crack.

“I say, you people talk entirely too much when action is required,” he told Elizabeth, shaking his head.

She glared at him. “You just killed my friend.”

“Your friend? Really, now? The way you talk about him I figured he was an unwanted puppy. Anyways, he will arise from the ashes in a couple of hours, yes?”

“Don’t you know how to think before you act?”

Sebastian couldn’t help but smile, though he felt a little pained at her words. “I do an excessive amount of thinking, I assure you, Elizabeth Saltzman. Just as I have already considered all the ways to rekindle our romance.” He ran a finger along her arm, a gentle touch, a silent request for permission to touch her more.

Elizabeth stepped out of his reach. “We need to hurry back to the school. Come on, we can load Landon in the truck.”

“Is that really the way to treat your friend?”

“Right now he’s just a sack of dead weight. Besides, we can’t very well put him in the back seat. If we get stopped by a police officer, we’ll be in big trouble.”

“No, we wouldn’t. I could just compel them.”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “I'd rather not have to deal with the police. What are you just standing there for? Pick him up.”

Sebastian grinned. He liked when Elizabeth bossed him around. He picked up the dead phoenix like he weighed nothing and carried him over to the vessel. “You seem to have lost the top of your vessel,” he said, staring at it curiously.

“Ugh, the top folds down. Stop asking questions, you ringwraith. Just put him in the trunk.” Elizabeth fiddled around with the knobs until the trunk opened with a click. Sebastian set the body into the trunk and slammed it shut.

“Don’t phoenixes normally burst into flames when they’re reborn? Shouldn��t we be worried he’ll set the vessel on fire?”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “Maybe you should have thought of that before you killed him. I’m not an idiot.” She held up a glowing box. “I set a timer. We’ll just need to stop when the timer goes off and take him out of the trunk so he can burst into flames and rise from the ashes.”

“This device counts a specified amount of time. Like a candlestick?”

Elizabeth didn’t even bother answering him. She walked over to the vessel and got into the driver’s seat. She turned the key, and the car bobbed up and down, but it didn’t move forward like it did before.

“Is something wrong?” Sebastian asked, leaning his arms on the windowsill of the vessel.

“It’s fine. Sometimes it just takes a little time for it to get moving. I told you, this car is ancient.” She tried again but to no avail. Huffing in frustration, she pulled a metal tool out of the glove compartment and tossed it towards him.

Sebastian barely caught it. “What’s this?”

“I don’t know. An axel or something? Use it to fix the car.”

Sebastian lifted an eyebrow. “You want me to attempt to fix your vessel? Elizabeth, I do not even know how it works. What do you expect me to do?”

“You said you were good at deducting, so deduct.” She motioned to the car.

Sebastian walked around it, studying it for any oddities. He got to the back of the car. “Ah, it seems one of your wheels is less round than the others.”

“A flat tire then. We should have a spare in the back.”

“Next to the dead phoenix. Fantastic. Can you, uh, command the trunk to open?”

Elizabeth huffed. “Whatever.”

The trunk clicked as it popped open. Sebastian reached inside for a rubber wheel, but he found none. However, he could smell that a wheel was in the trunk somewhere. He felt along until he found a groove right under the dead phoenix. “Excuse me, good sir.” He pushed the phoenix out of the way so he could pull open the secret compartment and extract the wheel. He also found a box full of many different tools. He pulled it out in case any of them proved useful.

He slammed the trunk shut, and Elizabeth jumped in the car.

Sebastian smirked to himself. Finally, some proper payback for the music earlier. He set the wheel down next to the car and studied the one still attached to the car. This didn’t make any sense to him. He picked up the axel thing, wondering if he was supposed to hit the wheel with it or something, when he noticed the end fit the outline of the spokes on the wheel.

After that, it was easy enough to figure it out, and by that he meant it was incredibly difficult. He first managed to pull off the hubcap, as Elizabeth called it, but not the wheel itself.

Elizabeth lay down on the front of the car while he worked. He doubted she was sleeping though. She definitely did not trust him enough to lower her guard in his presence.

Most of the tools in the kit proved useless. Finally, he tried to axel again and was able to get the wheel off. He traded it with the new one.

“Well, this settles the matter,” he said at last. “You are a terrible pilot.” 

“I didn’t think that being with you could get any more miserable.”

Sebastian tossed the axel onto the ground. He was getting frustrated with Elizabeth. She clearly had feelings for them, but she was much more stubborn about fighting them than he had expected. “You are only angry because your plan to abandon me has failed.”

There was only one thing for it now. Things were moving too slow. He peeled off his shirt, ready to use his muscles to his advantage.

And that did the trick. Elizabeth could not look away from him. Their arguments turned into banter, and suddenly Sebastian knew what he had to do. He had figured out before when he was still without a working body that Elizabeth was drawn to danger. He only needed to remind her just how dangerous he was.

He gripped her throat, and time seemed to slow down as he looked into her eyes, searching for that familiar thrill. “And you are forgetting that I am dangerous.”

“Stop talking.” She moved his hand. “Action is required.”

Those were his words, and he couldn’t be more delighted to hear them thrown back at him. She pulled him into a fierce kiss, and Sebastian felt vindicated in his theory. Elizabeth Saltzman wanted him because he was dangerous, and she was giving him permission to show him just how dangerous he could be.

He didn’t want to hurt her too much, but a little pain might be just what she was craving. He lifted her up so she could wrap her legs around him, and he pushed her into a sitting position on the hood of the car, removing a layer of her clothes while the kissing intensified.

He felt like he’d been starved for hundreds of years as he pressed Elizabeth down onto the hood of the car. She wrapped her legs around him, running her fingers through his hair and tugging. A pleasant shiver ran down Sebastian’s spine. He felt welcome in her embrace.

He tightened his grip around her waist, pulling her closer to him. With his other hand he slipped her shirt over her head. It tangled in her hair, and she giggled, helping him get it over her head. He tossed it aside, and ran a hand down the middle of her chest.

Elizabeth reached behind her and fumbled around, biting her lip, until her bra popped off. She tossed it onto the car seat and propped herself up on her elbows.

Sebastian drank in the sight of her. Beautiful, flawless skin. Her silky hair draped across her chest. Those perfect nipples peeking out through the strands. Her eyes were like a flame drawing him in. Oh, he wanted all of her, but she was almost too precious to touch. He worried that if he went too far, if she didn’t really want this, he’d ruin any chance he had with this angel.

“Are you sure this is okay?” he asked. He felt like a tightly wound coil. If she said yes, he would spring into action, but if she said no, he would need to get far away from her, work out this energy in some other way.

“Yes, I’m sure. Now make me feel alive, Sebastian.”

He smirked. That he could do.

#legacies #legacies fanfiction #sizzie #lizzie saltzman #sebastian #* #my writing #rated m to be safe #sebastian is melodramatic #sizzie fanfiction

[renaroo]

Some Times (Time and Time Again) (3/8)

Disclaimer: Booster Gold, Blue Beetle, and associated characters are the creative property of DC Comics. Warnings: Canon shaken not stirred, Heavy canon references to Booster Gold (2009-2011) and Blue Beetle (2016-2018) Pairings: Boostle Rating: T Synopsis: Booster Gold and the rest of the Time Masters are still straightening up things in the wake of the most recent universal Rebirth. But Rip Hunter is still missing in the aftermath, leaving Booster in charge with Skeets, Michelle, and Rani. But there’s a distraction for Booster, one he can’t keep himself from ignoring.

Ted Kord, miraculously, is still alive. And that makes everything more complicated than Michael could have ever imagined.

A/N: So look. First of all, I apologize to everyone who were looking forward to this fic before I took a very long hiatus this year. It’s a weird journey to go over, but basically I became a public school teacher and got a job in the middle of this year and the time flew by very fast. Ironically. 

Does that mean I want to leave you guys hanging for months like that again? No, but stuff does happen. I’m trying to use my winter break to write as much as possible while still getting stuff ready for my kiddos, but priorities will lie where they lie and I’m sorry if that means leaving you hanging again. I totally get if you want to check out until the final update so that you can read the whole fic. Hopefully I’ll plan out better and write it all before posting to start with. So hindsight is.... 2020 you might say. 

Special thanks to @fred-astairs-dark-impulses, @shibascarf, @mcbangle, @spiralcass, sinkburrito, @secretlystephaniebrown, starchaser22. doingsuper, Ithildyn and ivettxwrites for the support and kind words! That means so much to me, and I cannot apologize enough for being one of THOSE fanfic writers which I most certainly am and leaving you hanging for so long.

Little Girl Lost

Rani doesn’t necessarily intend to go against Michael and Michelle’s attempts to get her to sleep. Sometimes, things simply happen and there is no stopping it.

For Rani, it’s the need to make certain her adopted family — her new and most recent adopted family, that is — are still safe, alive, and not leaving her alone again that she cannot stop. 

With her eyes only closed for a moment or two after hitting her pillow, Rani springs awake, ignores the colorfully decorated bedroom that is exclusively hers, and barrels out without so much as slippers on her feet. 

Huffing and puffing, Rani races down the corridor toward the laboratory and kitchen of Time Lab. She only slows to a stop once reaching the disarray of the laboratory and overhearing the close by sounds of Michael and Michelle talking to one another. 

Her heart races despite the calming assurance that she’s not alone. There should be three adults in their home instead of only two, and that causes a pang in her chest she barely knows what to do with. 

Taking a deep breath, Rani glances around to the broken up laboratory and thinks about how upset poor Boppy would be if he was still around. 

Rani bites her bottom lip until it hurts. She hates thinking of Poppy in the past tense. She hates it. And she can’t stop it. 

She has played this game too many times before already despite being so young.

“Rani. I don’t believe you should be wandering around the laboratory. It is still a danger zone for the time being,” the familiar drone of Skeets comes as the tiny bot flies into her vicinity. 

Looking to the golden sheen of Michael’s trusty assistant, Rani can’t help but feel that something is off. Something more than usual for Time Lab. 

“Skeets, would you know if Boppy came back?” she asks.

“Doctor Hunter would likely make himself known to us if and when the time was right for his return,” the robot answers methodically. 

Rani’s brows knit together. “So… you can’t do it?” 

“That is not what I said,” he answers without answering anything at all.

Biting her lip once again, only now more in thought than in anxiety, Rani thinks about Boppy — Rip — and how he would make himself known. 

With a slight hum in her throat, Rani walks past Skeets and makes her way to the large chalkboard still standing amongst the ruins of the Time Lab. She reaches the board quickly and begins scanning the blank slate for any signs of change — any at all. Her eyes fall, rather quickly, to the bottom right corner where a scribbled message causes her heart to race again. This time not in fear or worry, but in precious joy and excitement. 

“Boppy!” she barely musters over her own gasp as she reaches for the board and touches it cautiously with the tips of her fingers. 

Ted Kord is the key. 

A chill runs down Rani’s spine, a thrill overcomes her pattering heart. 

“Boppy wanted me to know…” she surmises. Her eyes squint in thought. It is her corner of the board, where she has been caught a few times sketching unicorns and butterflies. For Boppy to write there out of all the space on the board, surely means the message is for her and her alone in that moment.

And Ted Kord. That is not any name, that is someone very important and special. He is Michael’s most important friend, the one he talks about in his biggest and wildest stories to Rani, and the person whose name comes up the most often in the history books when she searches for information about her dear Mikey. 

Rani thinks, just maybe, she understands what she needs to do. And for the first time since the big explosion, Rani feels calm and excited. She has a direction to go in and it means all the world to her. 

It probably means the whole universe if it’s important enough for Boppy to leave it on the board for her.

“I should immediately tell Booster about this!” Skeets determines in a flurry, beginning to zip off.

He doesn’t make it far in the direction of the kitchen, however, because once he sees that Rani is going deeper into the lab, he changes course.

“Rani! Please, the laboratory is still very dangerous. We haven’t gotten very far in the cleaning process so… Rani. Rani! Michael would not be happy with this. Please return.”

For the first time, Rani thinks she might understand why Michael ignores so much of what Skeets says. 

“It’s not a message for Mikey,” she informs the robot with a prideful huff. “It’s for me. Boppy wanted me to do something so that’s what I’m doing.”

“Whatever this is, I believe it is a terrible idea,” Skeets announces.

Despite her near constant quivering and skittish nature after the explosion of the Flashpoint, Rani is constantly aware of her adopted family around her. As much help as she isn’t in the cleaning and retrieving process, she knows that there are several things Michelle and Mikey have yet to contain.

Like the wormhole in the cupboard.

Rani’s knowledge of theoretical physics was far less than her knowledge about every episode of Zoo Crew Michael had gotten her on DVD. But she did know that one time, while working on the time sphere with Michael, Boppy had shaken a wrench and talked about using wormholes for transport.

And what did Michael and Michelle use to leave the Time Lab when they needed to? Transport.

It only makes sense. Even to her under ten mind.

“Rani,” Skeets is beginning to wind up into yet another speech just as Rani’s fingers brushed the steel frame of the cupboard.

“It’s okay, Skeets,” Rani assures the robot as she opens the door. “Mikey said it would be okay.”

“That is not quite reassuring,” the robot retorts just as they enter into the whitish glow.

Skeets, unfortunately, is wise beyond his years as it turns out.

Rani feels a pressure build up against her body the moment the light engulfs her. It’s pressing on her, stopping her body from breathing or screaming, compacting her, squeezing her. She immediately feels blood flushing to her face, heating up and making her eyes swim in their sockets as tears begin rolling out.

This isn’t even close to what she had been expecting when it came to transport and wormholes. Mikey and Michelle never mentioned it.

“Rani!” Skeets’ electronic voice carries, even as Rani’s ears pop with the pressure.

It’s hard to see with the blurring whiteness, but soon the golden swatch of Skeets is upon her. A silver arm extends out from a slot on his underside and Skeets begins reaching out.

The pressure feels like it is building up behind Rani’s nose and into her mouth, but she focuses just enough to reach out and be snatched by Skeets’ extended hand.

The moment they connect and make contact, the whirling of the wormhole around them comes to a stop.

All the pressure that had built up against Rani releases with a terrifying POP and she not only can scream, but she can hear herself scream as her butt hits a cold concrete floor and slides to a stop.

She’s shaking uncontrollably and her scream is cut short into an unexpected but high pitched wail.

Even with daylight filtering into the room she is in and bulbs on overhead, the new place Rani is in might as well as be a pit with the sudden change from the wormhole’s eerie glow.

Her body is no longer pushing against itself or into places, it feels like jello against her bones, and if it weren’t for Skeets actively holding onto her wrist she might have already collapsed.

All in all, the transport may have taken five seconds. Perhaps not even that.

Rani huffs and chokes on air as her vision adjusts. She knows she’s in a new place, she knows that her transportation experience is over, but everything else is a painful and terrifying reality.

Skeets lowers his hovering and comes close to her line of sight.

“I apologize, Rani,” Skeets says in his familiar robotic tone. “Transporting is not easy on smaller bodies like yours and mine. And without a direct destination somehow directed to it, it can take longer than expected. I am sure with your claustrophobia and neuroticism about destructive forces this was not an easy or simple journey—“

Not even waiting for the tiny robot to finish, Rani flings her arms around his metallic body and draws him in for a a calming hug. She feels his cool siding against her cheek and catches her breath finally.

Skeets seems to sputter in place for a moment, a whirring noise coming from his internal gadgetry.

Then, affectionately, the same metallic clamp that had held Rani by the arm before pats her back.

There is calm between them, if only for a moment.

It ends when a heavy door pushes against its hinges and hit the metal walls on the other side of the room they’re in. The lights immediately turn on, heavy and loud, as a man’s voice carries.

“No, I’m telling you, it was weird,” the voice says as boots walk across the concrete floor. “How weird? I don’t know, Bea, weird enough for me to call you and ask about it.”

The hairs on Rani’s neck prickle and she looks wide eyed into the direction of the noise as she lets go of Skeets. Her heart picks up even more from its already frantic pace as she sees the daunting shadow of the man walking across the room. It has been a very long time since she has been this close to anyone who wasn’t Mikey, Michelle, or Boppy. And the last one had been a Nazi, which means super duper bad person from her understanding.

Her regrets of leaving are building up rather quickly.

“No, I don’t know how you can get a hold of him, it’s just… I’m worried. And…” The man stops and stares right at her and Skeets.

He’s not a tall man compared to everyone else in the Time Lab. Not short like she is, but not as tall. His hair is a mousy brown, sticking up in several places but especially underneath the yellow goggles on his head and over his ears in a way that reminds Rani of Boppy just a bit. His face is full of expression, big eyes and a roundness to his cheeks that makes Rani want to see him smile.

And every wrinkle on his forehead is gaining length as his eyebrows race quicker to his hairline.

“Hey, uh, I’ve gotta go,” the man says  into the phone pressed to his head. “Yeah, I know it’s sudden. But there’s like…. A child in my lab. And I’m mildly freaking out about how weird my day is. Tell Tora I said hi.”

After a moment, the phone pressed against the side of the man’s head stops glowing and he’s left in place with a paper bag that smells much better than Mikey’s cooking in the other.

“Okay,” the man says, taking a deep breath, “strange child staring at me in my lab not saying a word…”

“Skeets?” Rani whispers, turning her head ever so slightly toward the robot without taking her eyes off the man.

Skeets whirs in that happy way that seems like a recorder starting before circling in the air once and making it to Rani’s other side. “Rani, this is Theodore Kord, formerly known as the Blue Beetle. He is the CEO and prime technologist of Kord Industries, begun by—“

“Whoa whoa whoa!” the man calls out, holding out his hands with as many fingers as he can spare extended. “First of all: Skeets? What the hell? I just saw you. Second of all: ixnay onyay ethay eetlebay, okayay?” He then lowers his hands as he shifts toward looking squarely at Rani once again. “Of all the third: …hey? Are you okay? You uhh… seem to be a child in my super unsafe and barely halfway managed laboratory. Which is probably as new for you as it is for me.”

Rani, finally catching her breath, pushes up from the floor. The wheels are turning in her head as she holds the gaze of this mystery man. “Blue Beetle…” she gaps in wonder.

He lets out a grunt of frustration and glances at Skeets. “Now, see? You’ve doxxed me, Skeets!”

“It is not a difficult task, Mister Kord,” Skeets retorts shortly.

“Well, I went to a Big Belly Burger dressed like this, so I see your point! BWAH HA HA HA!”  

Rani is unsure of herself and concerned until that laughter hits the air.

It’s not like any laugh she’s heard before, like a rumbling explosion from deep inside someone. The kind of laughter that can’t wait to escape someone and infect everyone around them.

One time, while tucking her in, Mikey had told Rani that his best friend Ted had the greatest laugh in the whole world.

And, now, Rani is hearing it.

“Ted Kord is KEY!” she remembers the message out loud.

The former Blue Beetle abruptly ends his rumbling laugh and glances toward Rani curiously. “I’m what? OOF!”

Ted’s question is barely out of his mouth before Rani is crashing into his waist, wrapping herself around him tight and squeezing with all her might. It’s the kind of hug Mikey gives her, and she hopes Ted Kord can tell it. The confusion in his utterances suggests that he probably can’t tell.

“Okay, help me out here, Skeets, I’m mildly freaking out,” Ted says.

“Thank you, Mister Kord,” Rani says with jubilation. “Thank you for having the best laugh in the whole world, and being the bravest man, and for being Mikey’s bestest friend ever!”

“I guess this is where I say… you’re welcome? And then ask you your name or something,” Ted responds.

Looking up, smiling the best she can, Rani answers, “I’m Rani.”

“You’re Rani,” Ted repeats. Suddenly, there’s a glint in his eyes and he sets his bag and his phone down on the floor behind him. “Rani… Rani… Booster’s appointment or whatever earlier. And you’re with Skeets. Who is not being helpful whatsoever, by the by.”

“I apologize, Mister Kord, but I am limited by the… uncertainty of many factors currently,” Skeets admitted. “I do not believe Booster Gold has tested the effects of this meeting yet.”

Ted’s brows squeeze together, causing worry lines to surface on his forehead. “Tested? Booster? I didn’t even think he tested the products he shilled for.” He then puts a steady hand on the top of Rani’s head. “And you, pipsqueak—“

“I’m Rani,” she reminds him firmly.

“I’ve never heard of you before. What’re you doing hanging around with Booster?”

Rani blinks through her confusion. It’s such a strange question. And certainly nothing close to what she has thought of before. She’s with Booster and at Time Lab because… Isn’t that where she belongs now? With no planet and no adopted family and no—

Her breath catches in her throat and she’s shaking slightly. She catches herself doing it, but she can’t stop it.

“Whoa whoa whoa,” Ted says, lowering down to one knee in front of her and getting to her level. His jovial face is all scrunched up in concern now. “Calm down there, kiddo. I didn’t mean to get you worked up.”

“I am afraid she has been through a lot, Mister Kord,” Skeets excuses.

“Apparently,” Ted says, a tinge of something more scrutinizing and suspicious in the corner of his eye.

Taking a deep breath, Rani grabs hold of Ted’s shoulder. When he looks her in the eyes, Rani says gently, “Mikey takes care of me. And… I take care of him.”

Ted looks her over before offering a soft and genuine smile. “Sounds like tough work,” he says solemnly. “But you seem pretty tough.”

Rani considers the ways her teeth chatter and her heart races and her chest tightens so much and so hard. And she thinks that tough is like Boppy or Mikey saving the day or Michelle defending their home. “Really?” she questions.

“Absolutely,” Ted says. “If you’re looking for Booster, Skeets should’ve told you that you’re late by quite a bit.”

Warmth spreads through Rani’s chest and she feels her shoulders roll back more confidently than they’ve been in a while. She is pretty tough when she thinks about it.

“Say, I actually ran through this grease bucket called Big Belly Burger to get the fries with Booster’s stupid pretty face on it,” Ted jokes, throwing a thumb back toward the brown paper bag. “A joke for… whenever he gets back here. I can’t eat that kind of stuff anymore… but something tells me if you’re hanging out with Booster he’s put you on a strict diet of whatever your adorable face asks or something.” He pauses for Rani’s giggles and, with a soft smile, adds, “So do you want something to eat?”

“I didn’t know Mikey was on food…” Rani admits, grabbing for the bag as Ted Kord offers them to her.

“Wow, I feel like that’s the only thing most people do know about him!” Ted laughs at the irony. “For a good minute there, it felt like it was the only thing I knew about him, too.”

Rani downs the fries quicker than even she expected. They’re greasy and gross like a lot of the food from this century that Mikey complains about. But that’s also kind of good about it in a way.

By the time she’s licking her fingers, Ted is on some strange, boxy device, fiddling with the buttons and lights on it.

“What’s that?” she asks.

“My Justice League communicator. The old version,” he admits. “I’m trying to get a hold of Booster and… uh… figure things out.”

Confused herself, Rani tilts her head. “But why don’t you know already, Ted Kord?” she asks him suspiciously. “You’re supposed to be the key!”

“To what?” he asks right back, looking up from the communicator with a brow on high alert. “And what do you mean by this key stuff anyway? Is that something Booster said to you?”

“No, it’s on Boppy’s board,” she answers firmly.

“Caution, Rani,” Skeets chides, floating in on the conversation. “You must remember the rules. Who knows what dangers can be unleashed on all of reality by testing them.”

With a gasp, Rani claps her greasy fingers over her mouth.

“Hey, now, that’s a lot of pressure to put on a kid, Skeets,” Ted argues. “And what are you even going on about?”

Uncertain of what to say back, Rani bites on her bottom lip and looks at Skeets. But the robot does not seem to be all that concerned about answering.

“It will be best if we wait for Booster Gold to answer,” Skeets assures her instead.

“I hope he brings drinks like we promised,” Ted mutters with a roll of his eyes. “After all this excitement today I feel like I earned it.”

Rani’s tiny heart races in her chest for a moment, regret and worry building up as If she had been taking stock for her anxiety to unleash in that moment. Boppy left her his message, she is doing the right thing. Right?

The excitement in her frame doesn’t have time to subside, however, as a large boom and flash occur in the same room as them.

Ted covers his eyes and tries to turn in the direction of the excitement. “Booster?” he calls out.

“For the good of all reality,” a booming, yet hauntingly familiar voice calls from the light as it dulls around them, “and for the survival of the multiverse…”

Once the light is dulled significantly, Rani blinks and can make out the slick black armor of the tall and imposing man across the room from them. And, more importantly, she can make out the shape and direction of the gun he is holding as well.

“Oh, fu—“ Ted says, getting to his feet.

“… Ted Kord, you must die!” Black Beetle snarls before pulling the trigger.

#writing #dc fic #DC: Some Times (Time and Time Again) #Rani #Ted Kord #Blue Beetle #Skeets #Booster Gold #Michael Jon Carter #Black Beetle

[aka-willow]

The Looking Glass

gif

Words: 1978

Characters: Willow Wren, Marty Fields, Phil Coulson, Daisy Johnson, Melinda May

Prompt/Tag:

“We have to leave the country.”

Summary: Willow receives unexpected visitors following the library incident

Timeline: October 2015

Song: The Hall of Mirrors - Kraftwerk

A/N: uh-oh sisters!

—————————————————————————–

It seemed that my prayers weren’t answered. I spent the days after the library incident completely paranoid, feeling like this was becoming a pattern, some incident escalating, the fallout paranoia, and then the eventual slide back into normalcy until the next one.

I need to stop. I need to stop.

That Thursday was the first day I was able to not obsess over what happened. Marty and I made a pact to not talk about it, and I made a promise to never let Marty get that close again. That was a mistake. He saved me, but what if it went differently? No more help.

I got home from school early that day, only feeling a little better after learning that Adrian Lester had been arrested, and the fire alarm pull had been attributed to him as well, as an escape tactic. I tried not to let it get to my head, but I was shocked that I had gotten away with it, right out in the open, in broad daylight. Stop this, stop this Willow. We’re going down a dangerous path.

I had texted the Lab Rats group chat, asking if they remembered anything about a book, but so far, no one had remembered anything. Was it… like… a Bible? Some HYDRA Nazi book? Just a random bedtime story? Is that what Monster was? Just a bedtime story?

I was so deep in thought that I didn’t even hear someone approached our door until they knocked. I froze in my room and opened my bedroom door, poking my head out. Both Marty and his dad were out—it was just me home.

“Oh, what the fuck?” I whispered. I considered just not answering it, maybe they would think no one was home. Okay, we go out through the window, fly to the roof, regroup from there—

No. No powers. I have to face this as a normal person would. I didn’t do anything wrong. I have nothing to hide. It’s that simple. Besides, what if it’s just like UPS dropping off a package?

They knocked again and I crept towards the apartment’s front door before peering through the peephole. There were three people outside—official looking. Oh shit. HYDRA?

I should run, right now. Leave.                           

But if it was HYDRA, they would have come for me while I was at school. They wouldn’t knock, right?

I took another deep breath, checked to make sure my wings were hidden, and slowly opened the door, just enough to poke my head out. “Hello?” It was a man and two women. The man seemed to be the one in charge, which was one suckaroo for feminism.

“Hi, Willow?” the man asked. “Mind if we come in? We have a few questions about an incident you may have witnessed at the Henry Clay Public Library the other day.”

Oh SHIT.

I pushed away my panic and tried to remain calm and keep my expression neutral. “What? What incident?”

“It would be easier if we could sit down,” said one of the women. She wasn’t smiling like the man was.

“Is anyone else home?” The other woman asked.

I opened the door a little more, my heart pounding as I considered my options. “No…? Maybe… maybe I should call our lawyer or something. Are you police?”

“No, not police,” said the man. “I’m Phil Coulson. We specialize in strange occurrences, like the ones you may have witnessed, as part of the Strategic Homeland, Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division. And this is Agent May and Agent Johnson.”

I worked through the letters in my head. “Shield?” OH SHIT. “Wait… aren’t you guys… wait also hold on, who came up with the letters thingy was it really necessary, it’s kind of a lot…” I couldn’t stop talking, words were just pouring out of my mouth, my usual nervous rambles starting.

“Everything all right?” Agent May asked.

“Yeah, no, I’m fine. So… uh…” I cleared my throat. “What about the library? How did you even know…?”

“Oh,” said Phil, looking towards Agent Johnson for an explanation. “Agent Johnson, can you…”

“You posted on Instagram and tagged the library about ten minutes before it happened,” Agent Johnson said simply. She pulled out her phone and showed me a picture. “This one?”

Oh… fuck. It was a selfie of me and Marty with the caption come to Henry Clay Public Library if you want an ass kicking in the next 30 minutes.

Phil chuckled. “It’s amazing. Every year this part of our job gets easier. Between Facebook, Instagram, and Flickr—”

“Flickr?” I interrupted. “No one uses that anymore. I mean, Snapchat, for example, might be way more helpful if you used the—" I stopped, realized I was rambling again.

“Use the…?” Agent Johnson asked.

“There’s… uh…” I glanced out the window. “A vulnerability that uh…allows you to view Snaps under a specific um… geotag… never mind.” Can you stop talking? Is that possible for you?

“Well, as much as I would love to talk about what’s hip with the kids these days,” Phil said, “We just need to know if you saw anything out of sorts at the library yesterday. Anything strange, unusual?”

Just play dumb.

“I mean... the fire alarm went off. Why would they call you guys in for that?” I plopped down on the couch, putting my shaking hands underneath my legs as the other agents sat down across from me. Get it together! I forced myself to make eye contact with Phil since Agent May wouldn’t stop staring me down. “

“Willow, our team learned of the arrest of a person of interest that took place at the same time you evacuated the building.” Phil pulled out a photo of Adrian Lester and showed it to me. “However, a security camera by the front desk captured the agent being thrown back by an unknown force before his arrest and the injuries sustained are believe were inflicted by a powered individual. That’s why we were called in. Here.” He pulled up the security footage and I watched Adrian hit the desk again, flinching as he did so. Did I really throw him that hard?

“Damn, that’s crazy,” I said, not sure of what else to say, kicking myself for forgetting about the camera by the front desk. “I didn’t see anyone though if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Did you see anyone talking to him before the alarms went off?” Phil asked. “Or perhaps what he was doing?”

“I was just there studying,” I said evenly. “No, I didn’t see anything.”

“You didn’t seem him get approached by anyone, or anyone else suspicious in the building?” Agent May clarified.

“No,” I said again, this time a little more forcefully. “Look, I have a lot of homework, so…”

“Okay, all right,” said Phil gently. “We’re just going around and trying to figure out our next steps and questioning anyone who may have seen anything. Thank you for your time.”

I saw Agent Johnson glancing around the apartment, and it was making me nervous. None of this felt quite real and I was already thinking about what this meant for our Rat Revolution, for the others. If SHIELD finds out about us, about what we’ve been doing, we’re going to be in some real hot shit.

This was exactly what Jessica warned you about and you ignored her.

“Who else do you live here with again?” Agent Johnson asked, suddenly.

“Uh… don’t you guys know?” I asked. “I mean, government and all? NSA shit?”

The others looked to Phil as he answered. “Well, actually, you were a bit difficult to track down. Did you move recently? Your records were a bit…well… sparse, to be frank.”

Oh, no. Answer this one carefully.

“Uh… actually yeah,” I said. “Um… there was a big fire.” Why the fuck would you say that? “House burned down… and then uh… my parents died.” Where did that come from? “You can look it up. The Gideon Barn fire.” Willow—stop! Are you on crack or something? “Small farming community. Came to stay with these guys. Family friends.” I shifted my pose to the same one I did when I didn’t do my homework, elbows on the knees, leaned forward like I was going through something, so the teacher would feel bad.

“Sorry for your loss,” Agent May said.

“It’s fine.” No, don’t say that! “Is that everything?” I asked.

“I think so,” said Phil, standing up, the tone in the room shifting again. “We’ll be in touch if we need anything else.”

“Cool,” I led them over to the door. “Well, yeah, stay in touch. Would love to talk again sometime. Sorry I couldn’t help.”

“Nice meeting you,” said Agent Johnson and I forced a smile.

As soon as I shut the door behind them, I huffed a deep breath in, leaning against the door for support, all the anxiety from the interview filling me at once. I felt lightheaded and sat down instead, my head against the wall. This is bad. This is really bad.

I could still hear their voices as they waited for the elevator, and even though they talked in whispers, I could hear them.

“Think she was hiding something?” Agent Johnson asked. “I mean, we can agree that was weird, right?”

Ouch, thanks for that jab to my self-esteem.

“Perhaps,” said Phil. “The question is, why?

“Do you think it was her?” Agent Johnson asked. “I mean if the ACTU finds this person before we do…”

“We’ll find them,” said Phil. “But for now, until we know what we’re dealing with, we’re not equipped to—”

Their voices faded as the elevator descended and I was shaking again. Why didn’t they ask to talk to Marty? Why come here? How much do they know? And why not just scoop me up now?

I went to the window and stared out, half-expecting to see a bunch of black SUVs parked in the street.  

My first instinct was to talk to Fanisimo and some of the other Lab Rats and see if we could put together a hack, but if we made a wrong move, it would expose all of us, plus then I’d have to admit to them what I had been doing behind their backs—straying away from our original plan to just expose the old Facility workers, but confronting them, using my powers in the open. Drawing attention to myself.

The door opened and I jumped, stumbling back, only to see Marty slipping his shoes off.

“Hey,” he said. “How are you feeling?”

“We need to leave the country,” I said, and then paused and put a finger over my lips. Bugs. They could have left bugs.

“What are you…” Marty started, and I turned on my phone light to check under the coffee table and furniture, anything the agents had made contact with. When I saw they were empty, I turned off my flashlight and motioned to Marty.

“Turn off your phone.”

“Why?”

“Just do it.”

When he powered it off, I told him about the agents. “They were here, Marty. In the apartment,” I whispered. “They know stuff, and I don’t know how much.”

“So, what does that mean? What now?”

“It means that I’m done. Everything has to be back to normal. I don’t know how many resources they have or what they know. From here on out, I promise, everything is going to have to be normal.”

It means I’m shouldn’t take my phone with me anymore when I do these operations. It means I have to be twice as careful, no more sloppy work. It means I need to finish this before anyone else finds me.

And what do I mean by finish?

Find Subject Zero. Find Doctor Turner. Find out what Monster was. Destroy anything that’s left of it.

#ww writing #willow wren #marty fields #phil coulson #melinda may #daisy johnson

[animeniacss]

What I Want - BadBoy! Taehyung x Reader - Chapter 10 - Soooo...What Are You Guys?

Synopsis:  You are an innocent, excitable new girl, moving all the way to Korea due to your dad’s new job. As you anxiously learn about the new world around you and how you’ll make your mark, you stumble into none other than bad boy Kim Taehyung and his band of six crazy friends. He seems to be bothered but you, something he doesn’t even understand. Will you be able to tolerate the shenanigans of Taehyung and his rowdy friends, or will you fall victim to his charms just like everyone else?

Featuring Jihyo and Dahyun (TWICE) as your friends, and BTS members as Taehyung’s group of friends.

Genre: Romance, BadBoy!V, BadBoy!BTS, High School Romance, Drama

Length: approx. 4.7k words

Chapter 10 - Soooo...What Are You Guys? 

“Sooo you both kissed twice?” Dahyun asked, resting against the back of your bed as she glanced up at you.

           “Three times!” You said. “Each time, honestly, was better than the last!” You covered your cheeks and fell back on your bed. “Tonight was so much fun~.”

           “So what else did you do? Did you see the lights? Weren’t they pretty?” Dahyun asked curiously. You rolled on your side, looking down at Dahyun where she was sitting.

           “Well…” you began, pursing your lips. “We didn’t get to stay for that.” Dahyun and Jihyo looked at you slightly confused. “Taehyung got into a fight with some guy named Ji Seok over a girl named Hyuna.”

           “Ji Seok?” Jihyo asked her face etching a look of worry on it. “Oh crap, oh no… “

           “What’s wrong?” you asked. Dahyun glanced at her, slightly confused herself.

           “Na Ji Seok is a dangerous man,” Jihyo stated. “Like ten times worse than Taehyung and his friends have ever, and could ever be in their lives!”

           “…They both seem like regular bad boys who get into fistfights and smoke. I didn’t see the differences.” Jihyo walked over to you, taking your shoulders and staring at you with an intense look on her face.

           “Does Taehyung have a criminal record?” Jihyo asked. You blinked. “No. He doesn’t, he’s just an idiot. Ji Seok is dangerous, he’s put people in the hospital. He’s made threats, he’s gotten arrested! He is also incredibly possessive. If Taehyung did something stupid like talk to his girlfriend, then Ji Seok will not let it go.” Jihyo sighed. “If you want to be with Taehyung so badly, you need to be extra careful because once Ji Seok finds out, he’s going to make your life hell.” Hearing how serious Jihyo sounded made you extremely nervous. You rested your head on Jihyo’s shoulder, feeling a big lump in your throat. She hugged you tightly. “But if I know those boys at all, they won’t let you get hurt. So take that for that it’s worth, okay?” you nodded, hugging Jihyo tightly. Dahyun propped herself up, her arm gently rubbing your arm to help calm you down.

           “How do you know this anyway, Jihyo?” Dahyun asked curiously.

           “Ji Seok was around our middle school after he and Hyun-ah started dating our third year. He’s like two years older than us.” Jihyo explained. She sighed, looking down at you again. “Back to lighter topics…” she smiled. “How does it feel to officially be in a relationship with Kim Taehyung? The biggest bad boy idiot in school?” The playful sarcasm in Jihyo’s voice made you smile.

           “Well…as far as I’m aware, I don’t even think we’re dating. I mean…he never asked me out or anything.” Jihyo frowned.

           “So he just kissed and ran?” She asked.

           “Well no, but-“

           “Dahyun, get the baseball bat.” She said, standing up. Dahyun got up as well and they headed towards the door. You couldn’t help but laugh at them.

           “No!!” You shouted, laying on your bed. “I mean I don’t know. Maybe he’s waiting?” Jihyo sighed, closing your door as she and Dahyun returned to your bed. “We talked about going on another date so maybe he wants to do it then?” You rested your head in your sheets and sighed. “I don’t know and it’s killing me. Also, that girl Hyuna isn’t doing me any favors either.”

           “Did you really think you dating a bad boy would come with just rainbows and roses?” Dahyun teased.

          ��“No, but I didn’t think a girl would be trying to steal him before I even got to take him in the first place. A beautiful girl in a relationship, no less. She looks much more like his type, dark, exotic, beautiful-“

           “You’re beautiful too,” Jihyo said. “And Taehyung does seem to really like you. He didn’t kiss Hyun-ah last night, did he?”

           “No…He kissed me…” saying that made you sit up, a grin forming on your face as your cheeks turned red. “Three times~!” You flung yourself back onto your bed, making your friends laugh as you held a pillow tightly. “And it was the best thing in my life! Well, maybe not the one in the bathroom that was so unexpected, but the other two~!? Ah! And his lips were so soft and the way he smiled afterward I just-“

           “Okay, we get it,” Jihyo said, grinning a bit as you sat back up.

           “No need to brag to the singles of the world,” Dahyun said. Jihyo pressed her fingers together, eyes darting to the wall. “…Why do you look like that?” Dahyun asked.

           “…Speak for yourself.” She mumbled. You and Dahyun’s eyes widened.

           “WHAT?!” You both shouted, grabbing Jihyo roughly. She looked at you two staring at her in absolute shock.

           “When?” Dahyun asked.

           “How?!” You asked.

           “WHO?!” You both shouted. Jihyo laughed a bit.

           “Stop, stop. It’s nothing serious, we just started seeing each other…” You and Dahyun gripped her arms tightly, anticipating who she would say. “Well…you know Kang Daniel, right? The one who changed his name?”

           “Oh yeah!” Dahyun gasped. “Nobody could ever say his name. What was it? Euw-gone? Eui-gown?-“

           “Eui-geon.” Jihyo corrected. “But yeah. He and I were in the library together studying, when I was preparing for the history test early one. We got to talking and…he just was really nice.” She smiled sweetly. “We’ve been talking ever since then, only like a week… but yeah.”

           “Jihyo, that’s amazing!” You gasped, hugging her tightly. “I’m so happy! I have to meet him soon.” Jihyo smiled, nodding. “Now, Dahyun?” she lifted her hands.

           “Nope. Nothing interesting here. Just me.” She grinned a bit. You smiled, as the three of you continued to chat about you and Jihyo’s love life, and possibly a potential date for Dahyun, which she was not interested in at all right now, thank you!

           Sleeping was practically non-existent for you. You were lying in bed, the house quiet as your family slept soundly. You couldn’t stop thinking about the day you had just experienced. Rolling on your side, you realized you hadn’t checked your phone since the girls had stopped by. Did Taehyung make it home okay? Was he feeling better? Pulling it open, the light of your background, a picture of you and your little brother, was covered by a pop-up from Kim Taehyung. You opened it quickly. He had sent you two messages a few hours ago, and you hadn’t realized.

           To: You

           From: Kim Taehyung ^o^

           I’m back at Jin-Hyung’s house. I’ll probably stay here for the night. -.-zzzzzzz (Sent 7:45 PM)

           I had a lot of fun tonight, but my head is killing me. I’ll see you at school so we can discuss date number two. >.o (Sent 7:50 PM)

You smiled as you looked over those texts a few more times. Only then, you felt your phone buzz in your hand. At the top of the screen, a message came up that flashed: SEOKJIN O.O on top. Opening it, you saw that it was a picture of Taehyung. He was on the couch, ice pack on his head as he slept soundly under some covers. You couldn’t help but smile. It was inevitable, you had to keep that picture, he looked too cute. So, you saved it. Jin then followed up with a text. It read:

           No sign of a concussion, pain killers helped his headache. He finally fell asleep, he hasn’t’ stopped talking about tonight since we got home. Maybe you and I can go on a date next? I think Worldwide Handsome deserves a fun night too T.T (Sent 10:45 PM)

           Another ding. Another text.

           I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Taehyung would kill me :(.Anyway, sleep well. (Sent 10:46 PM).

           You smiled, closing your phone and rolling over to your other side. You nuzzled into your pillow, smiling as the thought of seeing Taehyung tomorrow encouraged you to fall asleep.

           School the next day was cold, it was almost Christmas break after all. Students arrived in puffy coats and boots, with hats, scarves, and mittens. Some shivered as they rushed into the warmth of the school building. You were the same way, rushing to your shoe locker and quickly changing your shoes. Just as you did, you felt an arm reach above your head, closing your locker that you had to reach up to get to. You smiled a bit, sliding your school shoes on as you turned to see Taehyung. He was standing close enough that your back had to be pressed against the lockers, stopping anyone who may need to get behind you from doing so. But honestly, you didn’t care. You smiled up at Taehyung, seeing that he was wearing a scarf, but his school blazer was unbuttoned.

           “You trying to catch a cold, you daredevil?” you asked, reaching out to do up his buttons. You saw his cheeks tint pink as he pulled his scarf above his nose to cover it. The sight made you smile. “Am I making you shy, Taehyung?”

           “You know exactly what you’re doing.” He muffled from under his scarf.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about…” you smiled, your hands making their way up to his top button, snapping them shut. Then, your hands rested on his chest. One of your hands lowered Taehyung’s scarf to expose his boxy smile. You shyly nibbled on your bottom lip. “You look so shy, why?” He asked, scooting his body a little closer to you. You felt his leg rest between your thighs and you blushed. That’s when you remembered that you were no longer outside your house, covered by the darkness of a mysterious winter night. Instead, you were in broad daylight, practically by the main entrance of your school. The realization hit you, and you pulled your hands back from Taehyung’s scarf.

           “Taehyung, we’re in public.” You said, looking around. You saw other kids starring, whispering to each other as they passed by. People have whispered about you and Taehyung before but…this new thing between you, whatever it was, hadn’t been confirmed yet. You didn’t want anything getting around the school before you yourself even knew what to make of this new situation. Taehyung saw you blush, and look down at the floor. He pulled his leg back and glanced around. When he saw the groups of people walking past, their eyes glued to him, he glared at them.

           “Can I help you?” he asked. Boys grabbed their girlfriend’s hands and bolted down the hallway, girls held each other and fled, some of them whispering to each other how jealous they were of you. Taehyung turned back to you, still seeing how red in the face you were. “You okay?” he asked, leaning in a bit. You glanced at him, seeing how close you two were. You nodded a bit.

           “Sorry, I’m…not really used to public displays for affection.” You said. Taehyung smiled.

           “Don’t be sorry.” He said, his hand gently resting on your cheek. You felt your cheek fall into his touch just slightly, it was so soft and gentle. “I think it’s cute.” You smiled a bit, nodding.

           “Your hands are really soft, you know that? You’d think they’d be more…rough, I guess.” Taehyung chuckled.

           “Well you’re the only one that gets to know what they’re like soft, okay?” he said. “I have an image to upkeep after all.” Hearing that made your heart flutter a bit. You were so happy to be the only person that got to feel his soft hands as they caressed your face and how gently they held onto your own hands. It put you at ease. Suddenly, the bell rang, and you both glanced up.

           “Oh, the first bell. We should probably get going.” You said before Taehyung leaned in. He gave you a quick peck, taking you off guard just like the first one. You covered your lips as he pulled back, grinning.

           “Shall we go, then?” he asked. You nodded, grabbing your bag as the two of you headed to class. You saw other students look in your direction as you headed down the halls and into your classroom. You saw Jihyo turn in your direction when you stepped into the classroom, Taehyung walking in behind you. He stilled looked like going to class was the biggest inconvenience of his life, but seeing how happy it made you…he had to go every once in a while. He just couldn’t bear to see you. You went to Jihyo’s table, eyes sparkling as you greeted her. Taehyung made his way over too, leaning on Jihyo’s table.

           “You look so surprised to see me,” Taehyung said.

           “Well, I guess I’m not surprised anymore.” Jihyo sighed. “You gonna get Jimin and the others to go to class now, too?” Taehyung shrugged.

           “If they want to. But they much prefer to hang out and go to a few classes, like lunch and maybe the gym.” He grinned. As the second bell rang, everyone went to take their seats. Getting out your stuff, you saw Professor Choi makes his way in. Everyone got up and greeted him. Taehyung stood up too, which was a first, but he kept his hands in his pockets and just lazily nodded his head a bit before sitting back down. He rested his head in his hand, which he perched on the desk as Professor Choi began to lecture. It was going to be yet another boring lesson, and he couldn’t wait until lunch.

           Luckily for Taehyung, lunch rolled around pretty quickly. The bell rang and the classroom let out a sigh of relief, most people resting their heads on tables or stretching out their limbs in their seats. Taehyung stood up, walking over to you as you pulled out a little boxed lunch.

           “I’m going to grab something from the cafeteria.” He said, making you glance up at him. “Want me to come back and eat with you?” you shook your head.            

           “That’s okay. Dahyun, Jihyo, and I were going to Dahyun’s class to eat. So you go enjoy yourself with your friends, okay?” You smiled. Taehyung smiled a bit, nodding as he put a hand on your head, ruffling it. “Just stay warm, and promise you’ll be back afterward. We have gym coming up~.”

           “Alright, see you then.” He said, ruffling your hair. He exited the room before Jihyo called your name, and you both headed next door to Dahyun’s class. The three of you gathered by Dahyun’s desk opened your meals and began to eat while chatting with each other. As the three of you were minding your own business, you heard footsteps approach. Looking over, you saw that it was two girls, both looking directly at you.

           “…What do you need, Yoon-Jae? Jong-Rye?” Dahyun asked. They still looked at you.

           “So…are you are Taehyung-Oppa like…dating?” one of them asked. You blushed, lowering your lunch box as you tried to comprehend what you were just asked. You still weren’t sure, but you didn’t want to deny it. After all, people just don’t go around kissing other people unless they’re dating, right? But then again….Taehyung has been seen with multiple ladies over the course of the months you have known him.

           “Why do you care?” You asked.

           “Well we saw you totally flirting downstairs this morning and we just wanted to know,” Jong-Rye said, grinning.

           “We also want to know if any of his friends are available or something! They’re just so hot, you’re so lucky.” You raised an eyebrow.

           “I don’t mean to be rude but I’m not playing matchmaker for them.” You stated. “I don’t know what the others are doing romantically. I’m sorry, I can’t be of any more help. Maybe you should just ask them yourselves.”

           “Yeah but…” Yoon-Jae sighed. “They all seem to really like you, we thought maybe you could just see.”

           “Besides, you’re Taehyung’s girlfriend, so it shouldn’t be a problem.”

           “I-“ You huffed. “I can’t help you.” You looked back at your food, eyebrows furrowed as you continued to eat.

           “But-“ Yoon-Jae was stopped by Dahyun.

           “I think you got your answer, Yoon-Jae.” She smiled. “Just let it go.” The girls huffed and walked back to their seats, grumbling to themselves. Dahyun glanced at you and smiled at your angry expression. “There’s a look I’ve never seen from you before.” She teased.

           “I was worried people would start asking me about my relationship with Taehyung. I don’t even know what it is myself. I just found them both very rude, it pissed me off.” You said, taking another bite of your food. Jihyo and Dahyun glanced at each other as you continued to eat. “I just…I want to know what my relationship is before people just label me as his girlfriend. I want him to…tell me that is what he wants from. I don’t want to be just some girl he flirts with and kisses sometimes.” She added, setting your food down. “I don’t think I would be able to handle it if that’s what it turned out to be…” Jihyo smiled.

           “I don’t think that’s the case.” She assured. “He wouldn’t just take any girl out to the Seoul Christmas Festival, much less plan a second date afterward.” That was true, and it made you feel slightly better. “Just relax and enjoy your food. No need for you to stress too much about it, Taehyung really likes you.”

           “You’re right.” You said, finishing up your food. “I’m gonna go for a walk…I’ll be back before the next bell.” The girls watched you close your lunch box and put it into your bag before walking out of the classroom. You made your way down the hall, and people were looking at you as if you were an exotic animal. Whispers were heard between people about you and Taehyung, and that you two were seen kissing by the shoe lockers this morning and flirting behind the school, and god knows what else. It aggravated you, being the source of such stupid gossip and school-wide chatter. You made your way towards one of the secluded staircases that nobody really used because there were bigger and more accessible ones all through the school. Taking a seat on the bottom step, you closed your eyes and rested the side of your head against the wall. Your mind was racing and it was giving you the worst kind of headache. As you were sitting alone, wallowing in self-pity, you heard a voice.

           “You okay?” You looked up to hear Namjoon standing over you, hands in his pockets. You sighed, pouting up at him. “I passed your class and Jihyo said you went for a walk after lunch. Soooo I came to find you.” You saw him smile down at you before he plopped himself at your side. “So what’s wrong? Or are you just decided to skip class?” You chuckled a bit.

           “Me? You have the wrong girl, I could never.” You said. “I’m like you guys. Maybe that’s why everyone’s been talking about me and Taehyung. Nobody must’ve foreseen us actually becoming anything.” Namjoon nodded, pursing his lips together as he turned to you. “I kind of wish I was more like you guys, a bit more daring and a lot less cookie-cutter goody-goody.”

           “Yeah, but if you were, I don’t think Taehyung would’ve liked you as much,” Namjoon admitted. You glanced at him. “He’s always dated the rebel-Esque bad girl since we were all in middle school into high school. They’d cut class, smoke together, taunt and tease everyone. He was awful with Hyun-ah, more so than he normally is. I think after that break-up, he really-“

           “They dated?” you asked, eyes wide. Namjoon’s face had a look of surprise on it as he looked at you.

           “He didn’t tell you?” You shook your head. “Well, maybe that’s for the best. That was one of the most toxic relationships he’s ever been it. After they broke up after our middle school graduation, he kind of molded himself into what he was when you first met.” He put a hand on your shoulder. “There’s no need for you to stress, okay? Taehyung really likes you, he won’t shut up about you anymore.”

           “Really?” you smiled a bit, sitting up. Namjoon nodded. “That must get annoying.” Namjoon shrugged.

           “Not really. It’s much better than hearing him curse and punch walls or whatever the fuck he was doing before.” That made you giggle. “You shouldn’t let Hyun-ah or Ji-Seok get you down, or any of the rumors or whatever people are saying. You two should go at your own pace and determine your relationship as you see fit.” You sighed.

           “You know you’d be the top of the class if only you went to class.” You said.

           “I have an IQ of 148, you know,” Namjoon said, a smug grin on his face.

           “WHAT?!” You stood up. “And you don’t apply that to your studies!? NAMJOON!” He laughed as you shoved him, using that as a way to lead you back towards your classroom. You kept throwing random riddles and trivia at him in hopes of getting proof of his knowledge, and each time he would respond. It amazed you.

           When you got back into class, you said goodbye to Namjoon, and turned to see Taehyung, already in his seat. Jimin was there too, surprisingly, sitting on Taehyung’s desk and chatting with him. You gasped.

           “Jimin, please tell me you’re staying.” You said, approaching them. You saw Taehyung smile a bit as you approached.

           “Taehyung decided I should come in today. I figured I had no choice because he had me in a headlock.” You glanced at Taehyung, who responded with a goofy grin. Your eyes sparkled.

           “It’s finally happening. I’m changing you guys for the better.” You sighed, grinning as you spun around to face Namjoon, who got startled by the sudden action. “Go to class, Namjoon!”

           “What? Why?”

           “Three out of seven is a good start! Go, go! And drag any of your friends you pass along the way!” You stated, shoving Namjoon out of the door. “Byeeee~.” You closed the door on him before he could refuse your request. You heard Jimin and Taehyung laughing behind you, and you turned back to them. “The bells about to ring, get in your seat, Jimin.” Jimin got up, heading to his seat.

           “Okaaaaaay…” He sighed, taking his seat at the far left side of the class. He put his hands in his pockets and glanced back to Taehyung, who playfully wiggles his eyebrows. You smiled, poking Taehyung’s shoulder.

           “We still need to prepare for that second date, you know…” you said softly, walking past him and to his seat. That made Taehyung grin as the bell rang and the second round of classes began.

           As the week went on, the rumors grew. You wanted to ask Taehyung what your relationship was, especially when he would get really close and tell you something before giving you a little peck, or when he would stand behind you and rest his hands on your head or your waist, but the more and more he did it, you would get more and more nervous, fearful of the answer that was soon to show its face, and you would stop him. You knew deep down you were overthinking it, that everyone was right; Taehyung did like you and that’s why he was acting this way. But still, there was this seed of doubt, planted deep in your stomach, which made you feel like you were looking at this with behind a pair of rose-tinted glasses. That Friday, you were standing by the entrance of the school, waiting for Jihyo so you two could walk home together. Then, you heard another voice.

           “Hey!” You turned to see Taehyung approach you, smiling a bit. “You’re walking some with Jihyo right?”

           “Yeah.” You smiled a bit. “We’re getting some coffee and doing homework at a nearby café.” Taehyung nodded.

           “Cool. Jin-Hyung said we could all go to his house and use his parent’s new hot tub. I was going to invite you because well..” he skimmed you over and wiggled his eyebrows. You gasped, nudging him as he busted into laughter.

           “Stop!” You said. He smiled and leaned towards you.

           “Sorry.” He said. When you saw him get closer, you quickly glanced around to see people were staring in your direction. It made you panic, and instinctively pull away. Taehyung blinked. “…Hey. What’s wrong?”

           “Sorry…” you said. “My lips are chapped…” you covered your lips. You saw Jihyo approaching and you grabbed her hand. “I’ll call you…” You said quickly before leading Jihyo out of the school. Taehyung watched you, confused and a bit hurt as he watched you and Jihyo disappear from his sight. Jungkook and Yoongi approached Taehyung, snapping him out of his trance as he headed with them out of the school.

           While you were doing homework, you couldn’t focus. You felt so bad, and Taehyung looked so hurt! You wanted to kiss him, you regret pulling away but…ugh!

           “I’m so stupid.” You said, covering your face. Jihyo glanced up at you. “I didn’t kiss Taehyung back and he looked so upset. Oh, why did I do that?” Jihyo smiled.

           “Everyone whispering about you two like they do must be doing something to you.” She pointed out. “You shouldn’t let them get to you.”

           “I know, I just can’t help it. I’m overthinking everything and it’s going to blow up right in my face!” Jihyo reached out and took your hands.

           “Then call Taehyung and apologize, duh. I don’t think he’s mad at you or anything, just explain yourself. Trust me, I’m sure he knows this is your first relationship.”

           “Did you or Daniel ask each other out before you started kissing and all of that?” You asked. Jihyo blushed.

           “Well yeah. He and I kissed goodbye and then he asked me outright afterward. But Daniel and Taehyung are two different people, and that shows in their relationships. Just tell Taehyung how you feel and he’ll give you the answer on if he’s viewing this the same way you are.” You nodded.

           “Okay. Okay, then…” you opened your phone and shot him a quick text.

           Taehyung, I really need to talk to you about today. Are you free after you hang out with your friends? (Sent 5:30 PM)

           You set your phone down, trying to focus on work as you waited for his reply.

           You didn’t get a reply from the time between finishing up at the café, catching the train home, and making your way up to your room. Was he really hurt about what happened?! Oh no…You buried your head in your pillow, trying to think of what to do because sending millions of texts just wasn’t going to be it. It was in the middle of wallowing in your self-pity that your door opened, and your brother stepped in.

           “Hey.” He said, closing the door. “Mom said dinner is almost ready.”

           “I’m not hungry.” You said, sitting up. “Just have Mom save it for me, okay?” Your brother walked over.

           “What’s wrong? Did Taehyung do something?!” He frowned. You shook your head.

           “No. No, he didn’t I just…I’m being stupid.” You rubbed your face. “I’m gonna rest…” Your brother watched you lie down and reached over, patting your shoulder. You smiled a bit as he left the room. You sighed, covering your face as you tried to think of what to do. Suddenly, your phone buzzed. Scrambling up, you opened it to see Taehyung had finally texted you back!

           Why don’t you come downstairs and tell me then? (Sent 6:47 PM).

           “…What?” you mumbled, putting your phone in your pocket as you raced down the stairs and to the door. You flung the door open to see Taehyung resting against the door frame, arms crossed, and a neutral expression on his face. “Taehyung!” You sighed in relief. “What are you doing here?” He slowly formed a smile on his face as he stuck his hand out to you. You raised an eyebrow but took his hand anyway. Reaching in behind you and into the hallway, he grabbed your jacket and pressed it against your chest.

           “We need to go somewhere~.” He said with a grin.

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#bts #kim taehyung #v #kim namjoon #rm #kim seokjin #jin #min yoongi #suga #park jimin #jimin #jung hoseok #jhope #jeon jungkook #jungkook #fanfiction #reader insert #What I Want ff

[malereader-inserts]

Devil in Disguise

Fandom: BBC Sherlock  Pairing: Sherlock Holmes & Brother!Holmes Summary: Truly you were the biggest threat of all time. Word Count: 2368 Warning: Psycho!Reader, graphic description of murder? blood

There was a sickening look behind the emotionless eyes.

They thought they had seen everything from their sister. The brothers and loving parents, yet they had a storm coming that they couldn’t get out of. A danger that was right under the nose.

The Holmes was truly a family of dysfunction.

Iceman, sociopath, psychopath, it felt almost fitting of a sibling of three. They always thought the youngest boy, the youngest child came out sane. Yet, there was no nickname for you, whilst they feared your sister and Moriarty. You felt deep down in you that you should name yourself the devil in disguise.

“What do you mean you’ve been hiding this brilliant case from me!?”

Sherlock’s voice of glee was louder than the thunders of heaven, wanting to skip around his apartment flat as Lestrade and John stared at him blankly with worried eyes.

“So, why did you hide this case?” John asked, much quieter as he looks at the case file, “Seems like this is five years’ worth of crime linking into each other.”

“We could never tell if they were apart or together, the attacks, the murder, the crimes are so perfectly unguarded. There’s no pattern, always unexpected.” Lestrade explains, “We were going to give it to Sherlock but he had other business such as getting over his addiction and his sister.”

“Of course,” John murmured, rolling his eyes about Sherlock’s addiction, “Have you found out whether it’s a one person crime or...?”

“I’d like to believe that it’s a group, but if not, this person is truly another level.”

The door swung open, the two men looked over to see another Holmes clad in red, tired eyes as the younger lad yawned. John sends you an inviting smile which you returned.

“Heard Sherlock dancing from upstairs, what’s gotten my brother in that mood?” You asked, shuffling and falling back in Sherlock’s armchair, “Another case I presume?”

“Hmh,” John answers as Lestrade gives you the folder, allowing you to flicker through.

Pictures of your murder victims, injuries to countless strays and various stolen items. Your eyes looked disgusted, you were impressed with yourself because if you had managed to disgust yourself with your own crime then you must be doing something right.

“So, what is he doing dancing around if he has a criminal to catch?” You questioned, putting the folder in the detective’s hand.

“George, John!” Sherlock calls, returning to the room as he dramatically swings his coat onto himself, “We have to get to Scotland Yard, immediately. Oh, hello brother mine.”

“Sherlock,” you nodded your greeting as you watched Sherlock bounced down the stairs.

“You’d think he’ll call me by the right name after saying it right?” Lestrade questioned, rolling his eyes as he follows suit.

John looks at you, “Rosie is still asleep, can you look after her? I’m sure Molly wouldn’t mind taking care of her-”

“John, it’s okay, Rosie can spend time with her Uncle (Y/n)!” You beamed, standing up as John pats you on the shoulder with a grateful smile.

“Just pass her to Mrs Hudson or Molly if she becomes too much.”

John runs along, grabbing his jacket and scarf as he rushes down the stairs. You softly hummed to yourself as you move down the corridor to Rosie’s room, the little 2-year-old had just woken and smiles upon seeing your face.

You lifted her up into your arms, a menacing smile that could be easily mistaken for a fond loving smile, “Morning Rosie, up for a murder?”

“Why am I getting involved?”

Mycroft leans on his umbrella as he stares at his brother distastefully, he prefers to stay out of crime work - too tiresome for him especially the rodeo with Eurus. 

“How come you haven’t seen any of these crimes happening?” John asked, “Some of these were done in broad daylight, like, Michael Carter: murdered, knife to the neck left in the middle of Tesco’s - no one could miss a murder yet everyone did.”

“They must have access to the cameras, I have no footage of any of these crimes-”

“There are thousands of cameras around London, how can this possibly slip by? For five years?”

“Whoever did this must have some followers, he couldn’t do this by themselves.” Sherlock muttered, “You have your men checked monthly?”

“Always,” Mycroft bit at his brother, offended that his workforce was possibly accused of being corrupted, “All have passed.”

“No,” Sherlock looks at his brother, “Trickery is no one’s friend, only a slave to a master who controls all.”

Sherlock and John return back to the apartment, exhausted from running to each scene, Sherlock trying to deduce each crime. There they were invited with the scene of the youngest Holmes asleep on the sofa with little Rosie awake on his chest staring at the animated show.

“Oh hello, my princess!” John cooed as he gently lifts his daughter, minding not to disturb you from your sleep, “I hope you hadn’t cause hell for your uncle (Y/n).”

Sherlock chuckled, “(Y/n) looks exhausted, more so than us.”

He cast his eyes down to you, watching you shift to face the tv, a small snore escaped you deep in slumber. There was no doubt that Sherlock could pin any crimes on you.

The door suddenly opens, Mycroft entering without an invitation with Mrs Hudson rushing behind. Complaining about Mycroft’s lack of manners the occupants of the flat hushed the newcomers for your benefit. John left to put Rosie for a nap, Mrs Hudson leaving scowling for the boys being unmannered.

“What is it Mycroft?” Sherlock asked, jumping onto his armchair, “I need to think.”

“What if the person behind these crimes was working with Moriarty?” Mycroft questioned, “Moriarty was able to control cameras almost all over London, it wouldn’t be a surprise that they, whoever did this, have the same people.”

Sherlock looked at his brother, “Moriarty could be working under this person, he wouldn’t kill himself unless instructed to-”

Mycroft and Sherlock both looked over to you, sitting up confused and dazed out of your slumber. Both smiling at how innocent you looked. A small child, almost, you thought bitterly to yourself how they argue how intelligent they were but they were half-witted like the rest of the population.

“What’s up?”

“Stuck on a case.”

“Already?” You hummed, leaning back, eyebrow raised, “So early in the investigation?”

“I wouldn’t say it’s early, brother, it’s been five years.” Mycroft tutted, “It’s Scotland Yard’s fault for not coming to Sherlock any sooner.”

“A cocky bastard with a knack of getting away?” You questioned, almost too comfortable in your own arrogance. Deducing how your brothers didn’t even batter a blink of doubt.

“Whoever it is, is a danger. A monster, more so than Eurus,” Mycroft admitted, “She was insane, but this person, much more calculated, more precise, more...”

“Devilish.” Sherlock finished, “And whoever did this wants to establish fear.”

Days and weeks passed, little information kept the group going. Rosie was constantly passed around between you, Molly or Mrs Hudson. Mycroft and Sherlock were often seen together, both were determined to catch you, you watched on the sideline with glee.

You were having fun, and you’d thought after five years of doing the same thing would get boring but it fills you up with joy and excitement. How they were so close on catching you, yet they never did.

You were the innocent little Holmes that they protected.

Mycroft tried to keep you out of the dark with things but most often not found himself trusting you more than Sherlock. He couldn’t help but worry for you, at the end of the day, you were the youngest Holmes meaning you were far more valued to your parents than Mycroft or Sherlock.

Sherlock was a caring brother, if not loving, you were quick with your intelligence and always challenged him with his cases. You weren’t mocking or judging, he found you to be more accepting.

Yet, they just didn’t know you at all. Did they?

Slamming the door open of your secret hideout, you smirked to yourself. Hands coated with a suspicious red dry thickness that also painted your white shirt. A gun tucked in your black jeans around your back under the shirt. Picking up a cooing two-year-old as you hear guns cock up behind you.

“Pity isn’t it?” You hear your brother, Sherlock, spoke, “You built this for years and yet here we come.”

You tickled Rosie’s tummy, letting out a little squeal, you grin to yourself. Softly bouncing the child in arms, so affectionate to this sweet fledgling whilst being in a bloody room.

Five minutes ago, you had a butcher knife and admiring your work. Two hours before you had five victims, begging, pleading for their lives. The walls covered in horrifying blood splatter, some could probably pick out some loose organ bits off the floor.

“Pity?” You hummed, slowly turning around as you see your brothers, John and Lestrade eyes widen, “I have everything beneath me, brother mine, that’s it.”

“(Y/n)?” Mycroft whispered, clutching an unwanted gun in hand.

You grinned further, “It’s amusing really,” You watched how guns slowly lower down, “how easily fooled you guys are, James Moriarty admired me - god he fawned over me, it was nice to have a fan, loyal too. Killed himself.”

Rosie giggled, John tensed.

“Mary worked for me too, you know that John?” Your eyes flickered up to him, “She was going to out me, but it’s always fun to watch a bullet put between her eyes.”

“You-”

“Ah!” You warned, whipping out the gun from behind. Sherlock held his hand up, not wanting a gun to aggravate you, you aimed at John who held still, “You know what’s a pity though?”

The aim was directed entirely at the innocent child oblivious to the showdown. John’s heart almost stopped.

“Point your gun at me, if it helps you relax.” You mused out, looking down at Rosie again, who was trying to grab your bloody collar, “It’s great to have power, really it is, I can kill anyone in this building but you can't shoot back afraid of hitting this child.”

“You’re sick,” Sherlock spat.

“Sick?” You shake your head, your voice was low and you spoke slow with venom poisoning each word, “I’m not sick brother mine, that sounds like there’s a cure for an illness. I’m not ill, mad perhaps, twisted. Absolutely. Don’t be fooled, I am the devil in disguise.”

“(Y/n).” Mycroft called for your attention, your emotionless eyes flicker to him, “If you stop this madness, repercussions would be less severe.”

“We’re family, we can protect you.” Sherlock motioned.

“This family makes me want to cause genocide,” You grumbled, “Storytime!”

Your laughter causes a shiver to travel each down to their spine, you tighten your grip on the gun, John wanted to take you down, he had lost his wife to you, he wasn’t going to lose his daughter to you either.

“I killed a few dozens, want to know how I killed them?” You waved the hand with the gun about before directing the aim back at the child, “Some I gouged their eyes out, if they were annoying I would cut their tongue out. I have a collection, did you know? Eyes, teeth, tongues, the lot of them.

Most of them are screamers, that didn’t bother me, it’s like music to my ears. I liked the panicked eyes, especially when they see fire or my personal favourite tearing the skin. That’s always fun!”

They could see murder in your eyes, waving your gun about as if it was some toy whilst Rosie giggled upon seeing her Uncle laugh and grin.

“You’d know what would be fun?”

“What? What could possibly fuel you more?” Sherlock questioned, his gun aiming you alongside with Mycroft’s gun at you.

You stare down your brothers. Noticing how they quiver, ashamed if they were going to shoot you, scared they needed to kill you.

“Right now, there are four guns aimed at you four,” You announced, “You were right Sherlock, I heard you theorising that I had people working for me, and yes I do, but I like to get my hands dirty. You see they could murder you right here and I’d walk freely.

I can almost see the news, ‘The great detective Sherlock Holmes and companion John Watson murdered at the scene of the crime besides head detective Greg Lestrade and the Queen trusted government worker Mycroft Holmes: here are some words from the brother and friend - (Y/n) Holmes.’

Then I would say some very convincing heartfelt words about your murder, asking for justice and then living my life free whilst raising little Rosie up and telling tales of how her father died to try to take down the greatest villain of all time or should I convince her that I am her father now?”

“You son of a bitch.”

“My mother is a right all bitch, right brothers?”

“Don’t talk about mother like that.” Mycroft hissed, you chuckled, unphased.

“Hit a nerve?”

“Don’t make us shoot you, (Y/n),” Sherlock diverted your attention, sensing how unstable Mycroft was becoming by every passing minute, “Please.”

The please was soft, a beg as you soften your shoulders. Your eyes turned like a realisation before rolling your eyes.

“You almost got me fooled, Sherlock, almost did something I would have regretted,” You weren’t budging, “How about this Sherlock since you lead everything. You pick one. Me, John or Rosie. Who will die today?”

“Sherlock, please not my child,” John begged.

“Sherlock, we promised to keep (Y/n) protected,” Mycroft announced.

“Why not myself?” Sherlock compromised.

“Death offers peace more than you deserve, brother mine,” You answered, seething almost, “I intend for you to suffer.”

Sherlock stares at you, you were manic with a genius brain knowing his weak points. The child, his best friend and the brother that accepted him. No matter how insane you were, how ill you became and how devilish your smile turned he couldn’t kill you. 

He couldn’t kill his baby brother.

“Tick tock, Sherlock, time is ticking or all four of you get it.”

#sherlock BBC #bbc sherlock #sherlock imagine #sherlock bbc imagine #sherlock holmes x male reader #x male reader #angst #platonic #personal favourite