#dick is clueless

[loosepocketchange01]

Batfam Mob!AU {Welcome to the Family}

chap 1

Welcome to the Family (Batfamily Mob!AU)

He worked quietly, quickly.

His movements were unpracticed yet showed signs of quickly developing.

The only evidence of his work was the occasional clinking of the bolts in his pockets.

Jason felt the gravel stabbing into his knees as he worked on the car’s tires. He felt the steady breeze pushing his sweaty hair out of his eyes. He felt the pang of hunger in his stomach reminding him why he was doing this.

Jason hadn’t bothered to check the plate on the car. Whether it was out of disinterest or fear, he wouldn’t admit it. If asked, he’d say that it was because he didn’t care. No matter who the car belonged to, their tires would be his to sell now. Their fault for leaving it there anyway.

Yep.

That was the truth.

Certainly not out of fear that the license plate spelled out the 5-letter name that all Gothamites recognized. Nope. Not at all.

It wasn’t like it mattered now anyway. Jason was almost done, halfway through the third tire. The two that were already removed were propped up against the brick wall. Just two more to go. Two more and Jason could sell the tires for food. For shelter. For the unsteady promise of safety in a cheap hotel. There was no doubt in his mind that the tires were expensive. The whole car looked expensive!

It was sleek and black, windows tinted to where Jason couldn’t see the inside even if he squints. It was polished to perfection and showed no evident signs of damage, a rare sight for a Gotham City car. Surely its owner wouldn’t mind if Jason just took a little something, right? Just enough to last him a month with food and decent shelter. It’s not like it would be a big problem. Anyone that could afford a car like that could surely afford to get its tires replaced.

Jason couldn’t wait to take a hot shower. The grime that coated him could have been weeks old and his curly hair was completely tangled, itching at his scalp. His skin felt sticky through the coat of sweat on his skin. The dream of finally being able to be clean inspired him to work quicker, finishing with the third tire and moving to the fourth.

Each spot where a tire had previously been was replaced with empty space, only having a brick to hold it off the ground. The hubcaps he’d picked off were on the ground next to him, not too far in fear of someone stealing them. He worked even quicker, his movements turning sloppy. It was getting closer to 9:00 PM, the time when most successful citizens got off work to go home.

It wasn’t unlikely that the owner of the car was part of that group and would be soon returning to his tireless vehicle. He was so close, halfway done with the fourth tire and slipping bolts into his pocket.

If he pulled this off, he’d-

“I’ll admit, this isn’t the strangest thing I’ve seen today.”

Practice was the only thing that kept Jason from flinching as he turned to the direction of the voice, stance steadying into a kneel as the tire iron was wielded in a defensive hold. All Jason saw was a tall silhouette at the end of the long alley, barely illuminated by the streetlamp at the back of the alley. The man kept speaking.

“Do you know whose car that is, kid?”

Jason hadn’t dropped his defensive, replying with a snarl.

“It’s my hit! Go get your own!” His tone dripped with a heavy crime alley drawl.

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

The superiority the older man carried only succeeded in pissing Jason off, his reply eager to get the man away from him.

“Whatever idiot decided to leave it here! Go get your own grab!”

Why couldn’t he just leave him alone? He found it first!

The man let out a huff of amusement before stepping further into view. While his face was now visible, Jason found no recognition in his features and stood to his feet, raising the tire iron in front of him. The man, noticing the young boy’s defensive position, raised his hands in faux surrender.

“Kid, that’s Bruce Wayne’s car.”

Jason felt his heart drop to his feet along with the tire iron. A step back, followed by another and another before he was able to see the plate on the back of the car.

‘WAYNE’ was written in bold letters, sinking Jason’s fate deeper into his mind. The car now seemed easily recognizable, like he’d seen it a hundred times before back when his father would watch the news and Jason would peek in to see.

Everyone knew Bruce Wayne. The orphan who’d inherited his parent’s business and operation after their untimely passing. The boy who people assumed was no threat compared to his parents. The man who’d proven people wrong when he rose to power and slaughtered his parent’s killer. The man took Gotham’s criminal underworld by storm, ruling with an iron fist and crushing any who dared to cross him. 

It took years for the mob territory to settle before it was disrupted once more by the arrivement of a younger boy. An acrobat who had just lost his parents the night Wayne visited the circus.

Richard ‘Dick’ Grayson was adopted by Bruce soon after. He took quickly to his new lifestyle and followed in Bruce’s footsteps, electrocuting Zucco to death.

Grayson, a genius kid raised into his step-father’s line of work. He was almost scarier than Bruce Wayne himself. Almost.

Wayne was many things, defined by rumors. Some say cruel, unforgiving. Others say powerful, cunning. Right now, it didn’t matter what they said.

Because Jason was dead either way.

With a heavy gulp, Jason reached down and grabbed the tire iron, continuing his work. If he was gonna die, he’d rather it be an in-the-moment kind of thing rather than hiding from the mob for a week before being found and killed kind-of-thing. Despite his fear, Jason put on a brave façade.

“Who ‘er you s’posed to be, huh? Gonna call Wayne’s dogs on me or somethin’?”

Another step put the man 10 feet away from Jason, exposing his blue eyes to the light from the shadows.

“Bud, I’m Dick Grayson, and that,” he pointed to the car “is our ride here”

Jason couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t feel anything but fear at that moment. Not when the tire iron fell out of his hand and certainly not when his knees lost their support and dropped him into a sit. His mind ran a mile a minute, dropping thought after thought.

That was Dick Grayson.

Dick Grayson caught him.

He said ‘our’

He wasn’t alone

Someone was with him

As if on queue, another man stepped into place beside Grayson. A taller, bulkier man.

Bruce Wayne, his mind unhelpfully supplied.

“Everything okay, Dick? Did something-“

Wayne paused, eyes darting between the car with the missing tires and the dirty boy on the ground with the tire iron at his feet. He seemed to be at a loss for words before finally settling on a horrifying sentence.

“Did you…? Did you prop up a multi-million dollar car with cracked bricks?”

Multi...

Multi-million dollar car

Jason was gonna die. They were gonna kill him- no. No, they wouldn’t kill him. They’d do something much worse. They’d torture him- no doubt. They- they could do anything. He had to do something.

“Seriously, Bruce? That’s what you decide to say?” 

Grayson spoke but Jason couldn’t hear him. Wouldn’t hear him.

He had to fix the grave he’d dug himself.

His mouth felt dry as he searched for something to say.

“I- wait- you don’t understand. It’s not what it looks like.” Seriously? His son just saw you!

As if reaching the same point, Grayson replied, “So, you weren’t just jacking the tires off the car?”

He needed to get out of this situation. He couldn’t run, they were blocking his only exit and Jason doubted he’d been able to duck through them. His breathing was getting quicker as he struggled to get air.

“I had no choice! I’m- I’m sorry. I’ll make- I’ll make things up to you just-“ he cut off with a shudder. “I’ll put them- the tires- back”

Wayne nodded to Grayson, who took gradual steps to where the tires leaned against a wall, before turning back to Jason. “We’d appreciate that” he offered a kind smile, one that surely promised hell if Jason didn’t comply.

Jason nodded and shakily pushed himself to his feet, forcing his legs to support his weight. As he turned to grab the tires, his jaw dropped in shock. Grayson was rolling a tire towards the car. 

He was so fucking dead.

Jason got to work and began tightening the bolts to the tires on the car. He really tried to ignore how Wayne was now pushing tires too, trying to focus on the feeling of his sweating palms on the cool hubcaps.

Finishing the second tire, he tried to move on to the third before a hand on his shoulder stopped him from walking to the other side of the car. Jason had to force himself to look at the man.

Grayson stared dead into his eyes, pulling Jason back a few steps with his suffocating grip. Away from the car. Grayson turned Jason to look at him before kneeling down on the gravel, no doubt dirtying his expensive suit.

Grayson took his hand off Jason’s shoulder and turned his palm out, seemingly waiting for Jason to drop something into it. 

What?

What could he possibly want? Jason had no money on him, that’s why he was even stealing the tires!

What was he gonna do? Was he really going to die before his 11th birthday? No- He couldn’t- 

“The bolts?”

Jason blinked at him, taking a second to understand before hurriedly reaching into his pocket and holding out a handful of bolts to Grayson. The man took it with a smile and handed them to Wayne, who grabbed them and proceeded to put the tires back on himself.

Jason couldn’t tear his eyes from the sight.

Bruce Wayne was fixing Jason’s mess.

The billionaire boss was getting his hands and clothes dirty fixing Jason’s attempted thievery.

He’d be lucky if they allowed him death.

“Kid, look at me”

Fear was the only thing that forced Jason to look at him, meeting his gaze.

“What’s your name?”

His eyes seemed kind yet cold all the same. He wore the notorious Grayson smile that he used when he wanted people to obey his will.

“I'm- um…It’s Jason, sir. Boss. Mr. Grayson.”

The man had the nerve to look amused at his situation.

“Jason. Where are your parents? Is there someone we can talk to?”

There wasn’t. His father was currently serving a sentence in Blackgate and his mother had made the irreversible decision that drugs were more important.

“No, Mr. Grayson. ‘s just me.”

His smile faltered.

Jason didn’t understand. Was that not the right answer? What did he want him to say?

“Your mother? Father?”

Jason shook his head, fighting back the tears threatening to form. The man’s frown deepened as Jason tried to find a way- some way- to lessen his consequences.

“Please- I won’t- I swear, I won’t tell nobody. I’ll- I won’t ever come back- Sir, I’ll- just please don’t- I can’t”

His breaths became shallow and quick, barely making their way into Jason’s lungs before being pushed out. He couldn’t breathe. He swore there was someone talking to him but he couldn’t hear it. Another voice joined in. It sounded so distant and-

“Jason!”

That was what snapped his attention back to the present. He was sitting on the ground now, both his shoulders in different men’s grips.

“Jason, breathe. In for six, hold, out for six. In for six, hold, out for six” his expression showed concern but Jason knew better than to believe the facade. He tried his best to follow Grayson’s directions, hoping to not make him angrier than he undoubtedly was.

His breathing returned to a frightened, normal pace.

“We didn’t mean to scare you, Jason. Are you okay?”

A final, pleading

“Please”

Wayne sighed.

“We’re not going to hurt you, son. We just-” another sigh, a glance back from Grayson.

He seemed to step back, finding a new point.

“Are you hungry?”

…

Jason blinked.

Because what?

Was he gonna drug him or something?

Slip something into his food?

He was gonna try to cover it up, wasn’t he?

“No! I mean- I’m full sir” He just refused food from Wayne. Someone should dig his grave. “Really, I don’t wanna be trouble” Jason gulped while all Wayne did was raise a brow in question.

“It’s no trouble at all. Alfred would be happy to make food for you.”

“Yeah! B just doesn’t want you to stay hungry. He’s a softie like that. Plus, Alfred is making pasta tonight!” Grayson chimed in.

Wayne? A softie? Somebody kill Jason now.

Or maybe they wouldn’t have to since he was sure they’d kill him soon anyway. Whoever ‘Alfred’ was would probably sneak something into his food.

But what more could Jason do? It seemed he already tested their patience enough. 

So with a sigh, he gave up, hung his head, and agreed to come with them. He was led to the now fixed car and sat into the back seat, Wayne driving and Grayson riding shotgun.

#BatFam #bruce wayne #street kid jason todd #Jason Todd #dick grayson #alfred pennyworth #mob au #batman #no capes au #jason is scared #dick is clueless #bruce wayne is scary #bruce wayne and jason todd #jason todd and dick grayson #jason todd is a little shit #hes also a kid #bruce wayne and dick grayson #hurt/comfort

[jaysgirlx]

Dick: Did you do something new with your hair?

You: Yeah! I used that cute Nightwing clip you bought me.

Dick: I thought you didn't like Nightwing?

You: No, I said he can be scary…that was before I knew he could also be attractive.

Dick, looking over at you with a smirk: Am I not hot enough for you, sweetheart?

You: Of course you are Dick, I just may be a Nightwing fangirl now.

Dick: Sounds like you like him.

You: Just let me have my little crush, Grayson.

Dick: At the end of the day, as long as you're still with me, you could kiss him for all I care.

You: For a man who gets jealous over his own brothers, this is definitely odd for you. It's almost like you want me to like him.

Dick: I wonder why…

#✩ kleo's kollection ✩ #✩ here's a treat ✩ #dick grayson x reader #dick grayson #dick grayson x you #dick grayson x y/n #dick grayson x female!reader #dc x reader #dc x y/n #dc x you #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfamily #batfam #x reader #nightwing #nightwing x reader #nightwing x you #nightwing x y/n #reader is clueless

[fanaticalthings]

I think the reason why I like Battinson so much is because I feel like this version of Bruce is the most likely to cry when it comes to like, anything, but especially his kids.

I always make jokes about how all it takes is for one mean comment from his kids for Bruce to start absolutely bawling, but I actually could see this happening with Battinson, but instead of crying when his kids bully him, he just cries when they do, well, anything.

Like this man looks like he's about to cry 24/7, so imagine him with 6 hyperactive, intelligent, sassy and adorable children?? He would not survive, they'd tear him apart, but especially with overwhelming love lmao

Everytime he signs adoption papers, he cries. Doesn't matter if he's done it a million times.

His kids want him to read them a bedtime story? He's holding back tears.

Kids want a hug? Totally not crying haha.

Seeing any of his kids with various accomplishments? Tears of pride, no matter how many achievements they reach.

Kid gently implies they'd like to be left alone? Bruce is immediately all "oh no they hate me I did something wrong what did i do do i apologize should i tell them i love them am i a bad parent-" He def has separation anxiety with all of his kids.

Basically anytime any of them call him "dad"? He's hiding in his study to cry out all the overflowing affection within him.

Like I genuinely feel like this Bruce would be the most emotionally vulnerable with his kids. Like he'd be SO soft with them. I bet he's always happy to do little things for/with them, like brushing their hair, eating breakfast with them, watching TV, playing with Legos, etc.

I could see him being the most attentive father, always being cautious and trying to make sure he's doing everything right as a parent. I need to see him cuddle his kids.

DC needs to let Battinson have a Robin because I know that man would drop anything for his children.

and dont get me started on how absolutely devastated this Bruce would be if one of his kids got hurt (and imagine how anguished he becomes after Jason's death)

#i can see this bruce being a very clueless but loving father. let him be softly paternal with any kid he interacts with #i think dc needs to give us a Batman who cries fr #emotionally vulnerable bruce wayne when hes with his family is my shit #the first time he tries to carry one of his kids and realizes theyre too big he starts crying on the spot #ik its been a while since the batman came out ok but i love battinson so much you dont understand #hes a disaster of a man but he tries his best to give his children the childhood he never got #batman #bruce wayne #batfamily #batfam #batdad #the batman #battinson #dc comics #incorrect quotes #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #batkids #fanatical posting

[shima-draws]

AAAAAAAAAA WAIT WAIT if you finished wci then i gotta know how you felt during judge and luffy's final conversation when he starts listing all of the qualities he thinks are sanji's worst and then luffy waves him off w/o responding and is like 'wow why did he say all those nice things abt you?' and sanji's so bashful abt it

UGLY SOBS GODDDDD I cannot believe he actually said that 😭 I love that what traits Judge sees as “failures” Luffy sees as complete successes surrounding Sanji’s character. And he was so adorably oblivious too Judge was just shouting at them and Luffy was like “Okay yeah and he’s super pretty and he has nice abs and a cute butt, what’re you so mad about?” LMAO

#I imagine in his exhausted state Luffy just keeps running his mouth and saying increasingly embarrassing things #that make Sanji VERY flustered lmao #Luffy: His swirly eyebrows are cute and his hair is soft and his dick is— #Sanji: OKAY AHAHA. AHA. You can stop now :)))) #Luffy was so clueless it was so CUTEEEE UGH #Luffy: All that stuff about you is the best stuff about you! Besides your butt which he didn’t mention!! #Sanji: That’s actually very sweet I’m flattered—STOP. BRINGING MY ASS INTO THIS CONVERSATION #Luffy: Sanji has nice legs too :D #Nami: Did I miss something. I think I missed something. Did you two get up to something? #Sanji: N-no— #Luffy: Yes :)))) #Sanji: LUFFY PLEASE 😭😭😭 #Okay I’m done I’m sorry LMAO that was just such a cute scene #Needed to be silly for a bit ;) #One Piece #Sanlu #Lusan #Sanji #Luffy #Shima answers questions #cheswirls

[manapeer]

Maybe you can't summon the Ghost King if you don't know their name.

The evil cultists don't know who the new Ghost King is. But they know there is one. They know he was powerful enough to came on top of Pariah Dark. And more importantly, they know that new King isn't locked up in the eternal sleep coffin.

They are overjoyed. Finally the end is near. They'll swear their eternal allegiance to Him and in exchange, He'll spare them when Fire will rain on the Earth (soon, hopefully).

Since they can't summon him, they'll resort to go to him. As an offering, they capture a Hero, a Knight (they wanted the Batman, but Nightwing will do, plus he's younger, that have to count for something?) to serve as sacrifice/vessel/whatever please the King.

So through an ancient forbidden ritual, they get transported, with their prisonner, in the middle of the throne room, facing the King and his council.

Sam : uhm, rude ? We're having a meeting right now.

#danny phantom #dp x dc #nightwing #dick grayson #sam mason #ghost king danny #batman #ghost zone #Clueless cultists

[notdeezy]

Wally: Really smells like upsexy in here

Dick: ?? What's upsexy?

Wally: *WHEEZE* I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS WORKED WHAT-

#Dc #birdflash #dickwally #dick is so clueless and autistic #dick grayson #wally west #incorrect quotes

[cactusracoon]

TIM DRAKE AU HEADCANONS!!

______________________

Omega Verse

_________

Bruce is an Alpha

Dick is a Beta

Jason is an Alpha

Tim is an Omega

Damian is an Alpha

Cass is a Beta

Duke is a Beta

Steph is an Alpha

Babs is an Alpha

Alfred is a Beta

_____

Tim is the only omega because he's the Wayne Pack's Omega. Tim's nest is well The Nest, though he claims that it's not. He also has a nest in his room at the Manor where he normally spends his heats.

Tim can't take heat suppressants because of his antibiotics for his lack of spleen. He tends to hide his heats because that's what he had to do at Drake Manor.

Janet and Jack were going to marry him off when he got his first heat but Jason nabbed up after the scent of neglect, sadness, and fear filled the room one back while they were doing a school project.

Tim has stabbed a guy for trying to grab him while he was stalking Batman.

When Dick saw he promptly beat the shit out of the guy and didn't let Tim go till he dropped him off at Drake Manor.

The other Wayne Pack members tried to intimidate Tim's boyfriend Bernard but it didn't work all that well. They couldn't do that to the poor kid after they smelled pain come from him. He now comes over for family brunch.

_____________________

High School/Teacher Au

_________

Bruce is the Principle

Dick is a senor

Jason is a Junior

Tim is a freshman

Steph is a sophmore

Duke is a freshman

Babs is a senor

Cass is a Junior

Damian hasn't been born yet

______________

Tim meets Jason and Dick though theater club. Tim joined to do back stage work while Dick and Jason joined to be in the plays.

Jason actually didn't like Tim at the beginning. He was to quiet, to small to be a freshman, and far to good at back stage work for a 14 year old.

Dick on the other hand latched onto the freshman. He basically adopted him as his school child which confused Tim immensely.

Tim has a habit of working himself sick. Once Jason warmed up to him he started aggressively taking care of him. Oh you didn't eat lunch yet? Here's a bag of chips thrown at your head. Haven't drank water? Ok I'll just shove it down your throat. You haven't slept? OK you are going to nap in the back seat of my car while I go run some errands.

Tim likes to help with set painting and costume design.

The rest of Dicks and Jason's friend groups noticed how attached they got to the small black haired freshman and promptly also got attached.

Tim is just confused through it all.

________________

GIVE ME MORE AUS TO HEADCANON PLZ!!!

#dc #timbern #tim drake #batman #bruce wayne #red robin #damian wayne #tim drake & dick grayson #tim drake & Jason todd #tim drake headcanon #au headcanons #high school au #omegaverse au #we love clueless Timmy #god just give him a hug omg

[violetbumblebea]

Hear me out, Bruce being the well-adjusted one.

He goes to therapy and learns some basic self-defense to help soothe his anxiety but he's just a normal dude (who is also a billionaire)

His kids, however, think that an acceptable brand of therapy is beating up criminals and taking frustration out on the streets of Gotham.

Normal Bimbo!Bruce Wayne and his murder babies

#i cant decide if it would be funnier for him to know his kids are vigilantes and try to gently dissuade them #or if hes completely clueless even after being saved by them hundreds of times #bruce: you remind me of my sons #dick as nightwing: ha- must be a coincidence #bruce tries to adopt them #where are their parents #his kids try desperately to convince him its a bad idea #he just thinks theyre jealous #bruce: ill still love you the same #batman #robin #batfam #battinson #crack #dick grayson #bruce wayne #bat family

[newbatmanfan19]

Wayne Manor on a random Tuesday night

The back of the house: Jason, Tim, and Steph all getting yelled at by Dick who caught them sneaking out via rope-ladder-from-a-second-story window.

The front of the house: Damian and Cass marching a series of exotic animals straight through the front door.

Coincidentally, the enclosures at the Gotham zoo are looking mysteriously empty.

#jason todd #tim drake #stephanie brown #dick grayson #damian wayne #cassandra cain #Bruce on patrol and clueless #Alfred knows what’s going on he just can’t be bothered anymore #Duke is standing at the top of the rope ladder watching Dick yell at his sibs #he was supposed to come down the ladder next but they got busted before he could climb down

[cybervigilante]

he's there as soon as the text reading 'wanna hang out?' comes through on his phone, finding @fightwing easily as he slows to a halt before Wayne Manor's gates just as the acrobat is making his way out, quietly shutting the iron turnstiles behind him. there's a pleased smile on his face as soon as his eyes sweep up Wally's form, always assessing the other for damage or danger because he could never be too sure. it was something that usually endeared Wally to his friend, provoking a teasing little ' ready for inspection, sir. ' or a lighthearted ' i'm fine and i'm really me, mr. analytical. ' accompanied with a faint blush brightening the skin beneath his many freckles but Wally, all pursed lips and hands wrapped tightly across the chest of his billowing red and gold windbreaker ( Flash merchandise, of course ), was far too annoyed for any of that now.

‵ where to ? ʹ he questions automatically, because they nearly never stayed in Gotham when the occasion to spend time together came about. the last time Dick had found enough respite from his Bat-shaped overlord to go out, Wally had taken him to Rome where they'd walked through the city eating the best quality pizza of their lives and talking the night through about everything and anything in and around ancient structures older than the existences of just about everyone they knew before bringing him back to the grimy city in time for curfew. just one week ago, Wally would have been jumping on one foot with anxious excitement to get to do it all again, and yet, as seemed prone to happening in the young speedster's life ( in his melodramatic mind, at least ), good things never seemed to last for long. ‵ i'm surprised you didn't call your good pal Roy to hang out with you instead. ʹ

#fightwing #˗ˏˋ ⋆ wally / Ⅰ . i’m a kidder‚ kid’s my name #he is SO dramatic omg no wonder they're best friends #i'm just imagining dick being (clueless) like [nervous laugh] roy? we can invite him if you want and wally immediately booming NO

[forcedhesitation]

lorna esthelian is one of the most insane NPCs in all of bg3. you mean to tell me that a man invited you down to the SEWERS to "meet his close friends" at a party IN THE SEWERS and your response to tav pointing out how suspicious that all sounds is to tell them to tell the man that you "weren't interested in a relationship" if they see him.... AS IF A RELATIONSHIP WAS EVEN REMOTELY A POSSIBLE INTEREST OF THIS MAN. miss esthelian do you realise how scary what you had agreed to SOUNDS? even without the vampires??

#bg3 #bg3 spoilers #thoughts about media #I would be less baffled were she aware that this enigmatic man was a vampire and she was just chasing undead dick. #but she is NOT. SHE'S COMPLETELY CLUELESS!!!!!! #“he looked kinda like your friend there!” about the guy who makes jokes about eating her throughout the whole conversation. #this woman has ZERO sense of self-preservation before tav convinces her to get the fuck out of that sewer. #this encounter was to show the player that there are in fact people stupid enough to fall for astarion's poorly crafted lies. #I'm assuming that whoever lured her there wasn't astarion though. just based on the fact that her encounter sounded recent.

[randomblogofjunk]

I had the very vivid picture of someone telling Dick to go boil some water in an emergency.

And they come up to see what’s taking so long.

And Dick just has a glass bowl of water in the oven.

#dick grayson #dc #batman #nightwing #he is clueless #a smart himbo #Jason:what is taking you so long?! #meanwhile Dick is just crouched in front of the oven #watching the bowl of water #the oven isn’t even preheated #he didn’t turn on the light #jason todd #jason peter todd #alfred tried his best with this boy #alfred pennyworth

[dewisnation]

Daniel….

#honestly he’s so fucking embarrassing and clueless #enough dick riding for Horner MY GOD #daniel ricciardo

[louderfade]

#i carried a printout of this around with me in my bag as a teenager bc i was a big dork #to be clear it was the pumpkins of whom i was such a fan and not billy specifically #besides being a terribly obnoxious cringelord going through a christian phase he was also terrifically up his own ass about his bad poetry #and he was always being a dick about/to people who use drugs which is a very bad look imo so i was not exactly a billy fan #so i don't know why this stupid thing was so important to me #i think i was grieving the fact that all my favorite bands broke up before i was old enough to see them live but who knows #tbh i think teenage reasoning is mostly a mystery to everyone. no one can explain their thought process from age 15. #even current 15 year olds seem to be pretty clueless and generally at the mercy of their own brains #when i think of being 15 i recall a lot of chaos and confusion and a vague but constant rage toward everything in general #but picses iscariot does rock. those songs hold up and so does gish. just sayin. #this has been a boring post about some shit i liked too much as a teenager that i bet you wish you'd just ignored at this point #follow for more boring content about my personal life likely to make you reevaluate the ways in which you spend your time #pastlife #smashing pumpkins

[lazaruspitreborn]

@dramatisperscnae continued from here

"Sorta?" Jason shrugged and went to the fridge to look for some cool water. Yeah, this wasn't going to go anywhere near what he thought he'd planned in his head, he'd started screwing things up already. "I've been trying to get them to understand, but as we all know, my eloquence only works in very specific situations. This isn't one of them."

"I've had a couple of relationships, but they didn't stick, nor I had to say it out loud." He brought a bottle to the table and pulled a chair to sit on and talk while being on the same approximate height as Dick. "We just slipped into things in my other relationships, y'know? So I'm kind of at a loss here."

That was as far a conversation as it could be from what Jason envisioned in his head. Miles away in fact. It was like there was an invisible wall he hit whenever he attempted to talk about that and it diverged the topic completely to something that was close enough to the original one, but not the same thing - quite the source of frustration for some time now.

"It's been bothering me."

#dramatisperscnae #//jason please help me help you #//if you don't help i can't do anything!! #//and dick is just as clueless #//please my dear

[quenthel]

BTW he him lesbo Wranlen blew open my third eye WIDE. hitting Jaheira w that bi beam while I'm at it. All the awkwardness makes sense bc maybe he is her first boygirlfriend n she can't deal w it well (also her highschool sweetheart husband did just die). Also his fucked up transformations are cooler n more compelling like this too to me.

#quenthel special #i will draw yuri of him n jaheira also... #briefly considered to hc it in a way where Jaheira is just clueless bc it would be funny #he could lie abt his missing dick... sorry jaheira i lost it in a boating accident :[ #but bi Jaheira is better