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copias-thrall · 3 years

Note

How would Mary goore react to hurting someone he genuinely cares about? I absolutely Love your writing!💕

Hello, nonny! Thank you, I love this ask!

This was going to be alist, but it got away from me! 😅

Enjoy 😘

It wasn’t anything big.

Just a few of Mary’s favorite beers (the craft kind—not the shitty beer he drank on his shoestring budget), some of that chronic shit you’d scored and have been saving for a special occasion, and a VHS box set of horror movie classics.

***

Mary comes in and out of your life at will, and that was something you accepted—knowing he was As Is or not at all. And honestly—no, really—you liked that. You had your own shit going on, and being Mary’s expected caregiver was NOT something you wanted to add to that list.

(If someone else wanted to try to tame him and pick up after him, well…kudos to them. Less work for you.)

Mary showed up on your pivotal days and he rubbed your feet and always invited you out to trivia. You'd held him when he was coming down from a bad trip and listened to his grievances and gave him a place to stay when he was persona non grata at his own. And in a way, that made you always feel like #1 in Mary’s world…and that was good enough for you.

***

A few months ago, Mary had been lying on your couch, picking the label off his beer bottle.

“I’m gonna be away for a bit,” he’d said.

“Oh?” you’d responded as you’d mashed the controls on your gaming controller.

“Yeah. I mean, I’ll be around…but I got some shit going on.”

You’d paused your game.

“Bad shit?”

He’d waved you off.

“Neg. Just tryna get myself out there. Signed up for open mics and shit.”

He’d shifted, his long legs receding from around you and folding under him.

“So, like…I got my job at the bowling alley…but nights and weekends are kinda shot.”

You’d tried not to let the disappointment show on your face. You supported Mary’s dreams, and that meant not making an issue that he was finally trying to do something about them.

This wasn’t against you. It was for him.

When you’d taken too long to respond, his face had scrunched.

“But if you want—”

“It’s fine, Mare,” you’d said as you’d made yourself smile. “This is important to you, so it’s important to me.”

You’d unpaused your game.

“Just don’t expect me to not beat this game without you.”

He’d grabbed the controller out of your hands with a snarl, causing you to cry out when you died.

“Fuck the game.” His hand had fisted your shirt. “Give me a night to remember.”

You had. Twice.

***

Mary had texted you occasionally over the next few weeks—a few memes, a few drunken key-smashes, a dick pic, and 2 grainy videos of his performances for critique—but such contact was sporadic, and you’d never seen him in real-time.

He’d blown in one night, five weeks in, with a box of pizza just as you'd been heading out to meet your crew. When you’d told him you’d made plans, he’d looked so crestfallen that you’d caved and canceled on them.

While he’d been there, he’d given you a date in 3 weeks.

“That Saturday I have nowhere to be,” he’d said as he’d chewed. “I can spend the whole day with you.”

You’d been careful not to seem too eager.

“Oh yeah? Should I plan shit?”

He’d crammed the whole crust into his mouth and had given you a doughy grin.

“Why ’’ya think I told you?”

You didn’t know what you’d expected, but when he’d had to bounce 90min later, you were still surprised. (That was hardly enough time to digest!)

“Sorry,” he’d winced. “I gotta be on a bus in 45min.”

He’d left, and you’d been too embarrassed to join your friends who were only just going to the second bar.

Having fun with your man ;) ? one of your friends had texted.

What do you think? You’d texted back before changing into your pjs and turning on Netflix.

***

So maybe you were low-key excited about your day with Mary.

Perhaps you’d spent those 3 weeks figuring out the perfect date—something that said, “I missed you,” without saying “But in a clingy way.”

Beer and horror were two things the both of you were totally into, and you knew he’d be exhausted, so it seemed perfect. You’d bought the boxed set off of eBay and splurged for expedited shipping; you’d borrowed your brother’s old dual TV/VCR from his college days; and you’d forgone your weekly Chinese takeout for the craft beer funds. (And if things got steamy, well…even better.)

***

A few days before The Date, you’d run into Mary on the bus. You were coming home from a shift, and he was going to his.

He’d brightened and waved you over—as if you weren’t already on your way—and you’d plopped down beside him with a tired grin. You’d told him of the latest entitled asshole, and he’d showed you another clip of him on guitar.

Before your stop had come up, you’d tentatively placed your hand over his.

“We still on for Saturday?”

He’d blinked at you a few moments before grinning.

“Yeah.”

“Should I plan a whole day for us, then?”

His arm had crept around your shoulders before pulling you into him to kiss your temple.

“Yeah, why not.”

***

That morning, you wake up happy.

Mary will be over soon.

You roll over and grab your phone.

When should I expect you? :-*

It takes him an hour to respond. You aren’t surprised—Mary isn’t known for being a morning person—so when your phone dings, you grab it up excitedly.

An excitement that dies when you read his text. And reread. And re-reread.

not 2day

goin upste 2 show

You blink.

What show? Didn’t we confirm?

yeah. got me thinkin

why no show?

so i chked

i missed one

gotta do it

Rage blooms hot, then cold behind your eyes and down your cheeks.

But you said we had the whole day. I made plans.

save em

ths is impt 2 me

We’ve had this planned for weeks.

i thot u suprted me

on a bus cnt tlk

You send a few more irate texts, but he doesn’t respond, and you toss your phone across the room with a shout of frustration. You scrub the hot tears from your eyes before they can fall.

And…on paper, Mary isn’t wrong. Nothing you had planned won’t keep: movies, beer, takeout.

But…

It gives you a stark look at what you mean to Mary. He gave you this date and confirmed it. He knew you were making plans.

How long was he going to wait to tell you he wasn’t even in the city anymore?

You fight the urge to kick the VHS tapes across the floor, but you open the fridge and grab a beer. If Queen Elizabeth could have beer for breakfast, then it was good enough for you.

Once you’ve downed all eight, you move on to the jug of vodka you keep for cleaning.

When you empty only liquid from your stomach into the toilet, you grab your frozen fries out of the freezer. You roll a handful of the cold ones in your mouth as you wait for the others to crisp in the oven, and once you’ve consumed the cooked ones, you go right back to the vodka.

***

Opening your eyes the next morning is a mistake, so you take a few deep breaths and go back to sleep.

When you wake again, your heart is fluttering, your stomach turns, and it feels like there’s an ice pick behind one eye. Shuffling slowly, you make your way out to your kitchen where you take some painkillers, drink some pickle juice, and eat two slices of plain bread.

The sense that you did something awful stays with you, but you’re in no condition to find your phone and see what you’ve done. Instead, you go back to bed. It takes more deep breathing to settle yourself, but once you do fall asleep, you’re out for hours.

You don’t feel amazing when you swim to consciousness again, but you feel at least like a human being.

Your phone is dead when you find it under the sink, and waiting the 5 or so minutes for it to charge feels like waiting to face the executioner.

It’s both better and worse than you expected.

You breathe a sigh of relief to see that there are no vague social media posts, and you didn’t drunk dial any of your friends, but…

The texts to and from Mary are ugly.

Apparently, you’d managed not to send him angry texts until he’d sent you another clip of his performing. But then the floodgates had opened.

You’d started with telling him you didn’t give a shit about the show, how he was an inconsiderate ass, and then you'd devolved into incomprehensible, typo-ridden texts that accused him of using you, that you were only something to do when he didn’t have anything better to do, that he was an entitled man-child and if he didn’t apologize, you were done.

Mary’s texts in response range from him being angry at your disregard, to heated retorts you were blowing this out of proportion (and he didn’t appreciate your “ad hominem” attacks), to a cool detachment that this wasn’t working over text and he’d finish this in person.

You put your head in your hands but are too dehydrated to cry.

***

Mary doesn’t text you again during his self-imposed time frame.

You don’t text him either, but that’s more out of self-preservation than pride. There’s no point exacerbating the situation…and you’re pretty sure there’s no coming back from this, so why speed up the inevitable?

The horror tapes taunt you every time you walk by them, and you wonder if you can return them (you can’t). You give the TV back to your brother, and when he asks you how it went, you plaster a smile on your face and say, “Great!” with forced enthusiasm you hope comes across as genuine.

The primo weed goes over to your friend’s house, and the two of you wax poetic all night about existential claptrap as you devour two cheese pizzas and a bag of bbq chips. You talk about Mary without talking about Mary, and you get a heartfelt, “Sorry, dude.”

You beat the video game anyway, but it’s mostly because you needed something to occupy your mind and less out of spite (though that’s there as well).

***

Despite waiting on tenterhooks to hear anything from Mary, you truly don’t really expect to. You know you’d been atrocious, even if it had been prompted by his careless disregard, and you know Mary isn’t really the kind of guy that troubles himself with relationships that are hard.

Not that you’re in a relationship.

So when there’s a knock on your door a week later and Mary’s behind it, you’re genuinely surprised.

You gape through the peephole in shock.

“Fuck. If you’re there, just let me in, ok?”

Fumbling with the chain, you unlock the door and crack it open.

“Mary?”

“You gonna let me in?” he rasps.

You shrug and step away from the door, and he shuffles inside. He looks around like you’ve changed anything (you haven’t), before turning around to face you.

You close the door and stare back.

He folds his arms. “Breaking up with someone over text is tacky.”

What you think is, So you’ve come to do it in person, but what you say is, “Can’t break up if you’re not together.”

He winces and runs his fingers through his hair.

“Yeah…apparently I’ve ‘taken advantage' of you.”

This…isn’t what you’re expecting.

“I…what?”

“Can we sit down?”

You nod, and Mary sits rigidly on the edge of your couch. You curl up in the chair on the opposite side.

He rubs his palms down his greasy jeans before he speaks.

“I mean…you pissed me off, ok?”

You nod.

“But, like—you weren’t wrong, ok? I kinda knew that deep down, but I’m a dumbass, you know?”

You don’t nod.

“And I kinda bitched about the whole thing…but the resounding response was that I was the asshole.”

He angles his body toward you.

“I guess I’ve kinda been treating you like my best friend that I fuck sometimes.”

Your entire face flushes—you’d always thought you’d maybe ranked a little higher than that—and you duck your head so he can’t see the tears that you blink back.

There’s a swish of fabric, and you startle hard when Mary’s hand is at your chin. He jerks back with a Sorry.

“Shit—that’s not what I…” he blows out a breath and puts his hands behind his head before looking back up at you.

“But you aren’t, and…fuck this is harder than I thought.”

So this is it.

Waiting for him to do the deed is clearly going to be excruciating, so you take charge of this whole shit-show.

“I understand,” you say flatly.

“You do?”

“It’s ok, Mare-Mary. It’s my own fault for reading too much into it. I just…I saw what I wanted to see, I guess. I know you don’t need…” you look down into your lap, “…my shit in your life.

He makes a noise low in his throat, and then he’s squatting in front of you, his hot hands planting on your knees.

“But I want your shit in my life.”

You squint your eyes at him.

“But what I said…”

He grasps your hands in his.

“Pissed me off, yeah…cuz I wasn’t fucking thinking, ok? You’re like one of the only people who gives a crap about what’s important to me. And all I could see was you suddenly…not.”

Anger wells up in you again, and you yank away your hands.

“Weeks, Mary…weeks of you all over the tri-state area, and you thought I didn’t care because of one night?! A night you promised to me?”

He sits back on his heels. “I know…fuck. Ok? At the time, it just felt…like the show couldn’t be rescheduled. Our night could.”

Because you’re what he does when he’s bored.

You curl in on yourself.

“Shit.” He leans forward again. “Fuck, I’m sorry, ok? I’m fucking on my knees here.”

You blink at him.

What?

“Please, please don’t break—say we’re done.”

“What?”

“Look, we can go into my shitty fucking psychological profile on why I fuck around later…but right now I need you to know that I knew it was you before I fucking knew it was you.”

You uncurl.

“That…’what’ was me?”

He knees forward and presses your hands to his face.

“The one I wanna spend my free time with. The one whose opinion means the most. The one who was the first person I wanted to share all my good shit with. You’re the one I missed, and—after that awful fucking night—everything felt pointless because I knew I couldn’t come over and jam about it.”

“Mare—what are you saying?”

“I’m saying I’m a fucking dumbass. I’m saying I thought I was pissed at you, but I was pissed at myself for fucking it up.” He sighs. “I’m saying no fucking one was on my side and they all told me to get my shit together.”

He looks up at you with wide eyes, and for the first time, you can see how they’re outlined in red, his subtle crow’s feet more pronounced.

“So, you’re not done with me? I’m not…too much trouble?”

He shakes his head in disbelief. “What? Shit, no. I’m asking you to not be done with me. I’ll give you all the nights you want. Fucking text me, and my ass’ll be here posthaste.” He shifts up, and his thumb ghosts over your lips. “Anything to get you to give me that secret smile again.”

“Secret smile?” you ask while trying to perform the action.

Mary actually blushes.

“Uh…yeah. You get this…” he makes a motion across his face, “…when you’re giving it back to me.” His fingers shove back through his hair as he casts his eyes down. “You don’t give it to anyone else.” He rubs the back of his neck. “I’ve made a study of it.”

You’re a swirl of emotions. Mary’s apologized—has admitted he was wrong and has asked for…more—but you’re still hurt. And embarrassed.

But he’s looking up at you with wet, hopeful eyes.

“Do you…” you start carefully, “…do you know why I got so mad?”

That statement was clearly not what he was expecting, and he blinks at you a few times before nodding and looking down at the floor.

“I made a…uh, commitment…to you. And I treated it like it didn’t mean anything.”

He gives you a look like, Did I get it right? and that’s close enough—even if he’s missing some of the nuance.

You nod. “And I know I…wasn’t…the best.”

His face contorts, and your heart sinks.

“You…” he shakes his head. “You said some awful things…some hurtful shit—and it really got in my head.”

Mary gives you a complicated look.

“Shit that you’d been pissed about for a while.” He traces your knee. “Shit you could’ve said to me…but shit I should have noticed. Fuck.” He presses his forehead into your knees, and you can’t stop yourself from sinking your fingers into his hair.

He takes it as encouragement and presses into you before looking up again.

“I just kinda wanna put that whole night behind us. It feels like a fucking ouroboros of fault. And like maybe I created it. But let’s agree to like…not do that again.”

You look down at him, and his eyes search your face.

“Ok…but what does all this mean, Mare? I can’t…I need to be something to you, ok? More than just your friend.”

Mary nods emphatically, and he takes your hand and curls his into it.

“No more fuck-ups, and no one else…can we start there?”

He’s saying all the right words, but you’re still trepidatious—you know Mary, and he doesn’t like constraints.

“I…just…how can I believe you?”

He shakes his head like he can’t believe you even have to ask. He rises and awkwardly reaches out to touch your face before drawing his hand back.

“Cuz you’re important to me. I care about you, and I don’t want to lose you. Ever.”

And yeah. Ok.

#asks #mary goore #gender neutral #hurt/comfort #my writing #original post

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ask-runaan-anything · 3 years

Text

Runaan@NYCC 2021 AU headcanons

If Runaan actually attended in person with the characters voiced by the VA's who will attend: gosh the muns got self-indulgent, this is long

Runaan leaves home for NYCC 2021 and sends Ethari a single Pleading Face emoji every time he thinks of him

Ethari gets 2472496 Pleading Face emojis while Runaan is away

Runaan brings his favourite book(s) with him to keep him company and also for Serotonin

Rayla mentions this to Callum

Runaan is all WHy did you Tell the HUMAN

but Callum did the exact same thing

Runaan is unexpectedly supported and he's not sure he likes it

they also make a plan for what he (and Rayla) can do if he ever gets very overwhelmed

Ethari@Rayla: Rule #1 is, do not let him shoot anyone

Rayla; *very serious nod*

he rehearses what he'll say at the panel beforehand, using flash cards

and some of the cards say things like "Thank you" bc Ethari worries he'll forget

Ethari color coding the flash cards for "Social" and "Informational" so Runaan can flip through them if he's put on the spot

he also asks Ethari what he can mention about him+what's off limits bc he doesn’t want to make Ethari feel exposed or anything

Runaan: please don't have a Q&A section please don't have a Q&A section please don't have a

host: so let's open it up for a little Q&A now-

Runaan, internally: *bleep*

Under the table he starts flicking through his flash cards

he doesn't realize there's no tablecloth and everyone can see him do it

he watches the recording of it later to find all his faults but Rayla sits right next to him and she's all, "Yes yes they saw you and guess what, no one assassinated you over it, it's okay!"

Runaan goes Soft™

it's like he can feel Ethari there with him through Rayla's words

he has to thank her but words aren't his style so he offers to let her drag him out of the hotel for the first time that trip

ten steps outside and he has regretti

but he promised and his honor is at stake now so he keeps going

Rayla takes him to a bookstore

its slightly outside his comfort zone but it's quiet, and the city streets are so noisy

Ethari texted her a list of recharge spots, and one was a bookstore, with a reading nook, so she takes him there and they curl up on pillows and hammocks for a while

Another time they go out to a coffee shop at 3am

Runaan sends Ethari a Pleading Face emoji

Ethari replies with “!!” and “IT’S 3AM GO TO SLEEP YOU HAVE A PANEL IN THE MORNING”

Runaan just sends him another Pleading Face

Runaan has noise cancelling earshrooms if he needs them

Ethari wears them while he hammers

Ethari sends Runaan jokes to distract him just before his panels start

And Runaan lies down at night to talk to Ethari with his phone near his ear so it feels like back home when Ethari cuddles him

Ethari sending his own homemade "good luck" memes just before Runaan’s panel, so Runaan can fall back on showing them to the audience if he gets nervous, which he does, and they LOVE it, and Runaan is like, “I can see my husband has some support in the human lands, I'll be sure to tell him,” and the room cheers and Runaan is like "Aaaaa this is making me feel so seen but also yes, my husband deserves all the support"

Runaan sleeps surrounded by like 8 extra pillows in the bed so he can feel as snuggled as when Ethari's actually there

and one is Ethari's

Ethari lending Runaan his scarf bc it smells like him

and Runaan not only sleeps with it right near his nose but he wears it during the panel

Runaan wearing his serious face at the panel and answering hard or angsty questions, and the whole time he has earshrooms in and their lil stems are pokin out of his ears

If Runaan is here then all the other characters with VAs at NYCC are also here, so it’s a panel of actual characters

Viren using chopsticks to try and steal one of Runaan's earshrooms out of unbridled curiosity, and Runaan just. takes them away from him. without looking over. and slaps them on the table like. no, bad human, do not steal my earshrooms while I'm talking.

Claudia's flipping through a book but it's a recipe book and she's looking up mushroom soup

Ethari made Runaan an anti-dark magic charm so he's safe and no one can use it on him, so he feels safe attending the panel at all

someone asking about Lachir and Runaan just brightening

also pspsps that person is @hoothalcyon

Runaan goes off for ten minutes unprompted and uninterrupted about his moonstrider, it's about as animated and excited as anyone has ever seen him

Clauds over on the side making big heart eyes

she asks if he has a picture and he says yes and she bounces over to him and squeals loudly

Rayla texts Ethari just then and Ethari gets a FaceTime call going so everyone can see Lachir in person back home, because ofc she is fine and alive

and Lachir looks derpily at the camera like "wat dis"

She do the blep, sniffs camera, makes it smudgy

Ethari laughing and protesting off screen

the entire panel and audience is all "awwwwww"

Viren loudly demanding a cute pet so people will like him too

Runaan does a discreet lil happy stim and it's so discreet that barely anyone catches it except one or two ND's who are like aaaaa

Rayla slipping behind Viren and putting an adoraburr on his ear tho

"One cute pet, courtesy of Xadia! You've had your Adorapox vaccinations, right?" she chirps sassily

yes the pox look like adoraburrs

you are very contagious and very adorable

Janai, someone asks her about Amaya and she gets flustered and Runaan feels seen

audience question during the Q&A: Runaan, who would win in a fight between you and Janai?

Janai, immediately: Me.

Runaan: Her.

Janai flexes, literally

Runaan is happy to give her the spotlight, which is why he lied, bc ofc he thinks he could take her, he'd do it at night and he'd steal her sword first, obviously

nowhere in the question did it say "fair" fight

Amaya is in the audience and she keeps signing flirty things at Janai no matter how loud the room gets or who's asking who what, and Janai keeps getting more and more flustered and distracted

Runaan has one (1) moment where he's actually relieved his husband isn't there

Ethari would want to tease him so badly

Q: Runaan, are you a good dancer?

Runaan: I'm passable, with the right partner.

Q: So can you show us some moves?

Runaan, blushing: Distinctly not.

whistling and clapping ensue

Rayla jumps up and grabs Callum's hand and says, "I can show you some moves!"

and they dance very sweetly and cutely with some basic Moonshadow moves

and Runaan is like "I can't tell if this is worse"

Q: Runaan, how did your marriage proposal go?

Runaan, after a long flustered moment: ...Successfully. *taps his horn cuffs*

Q from someone wanting to know how to follow Runaan on social media: Runaan, you're amazing, where can we find you?

Runaan: The Silvergrove, but you can't actually-

Q: No I mean, what if we want to follow you?

Runaan: You'd need to know the key dance, and that's protected information. Also, stalking isn't nice.

Q: But you stalk people.

Runaan: *dramatic eyebrows* And it isn't nice.

Next Q: Has Ethari ever gotten hurt, and what did you do?

Runaan: *crushes water bottle*

Host: Okay another question then!

his answers would be really short if he did not feel comfy interacting, which is probably most of the time

Rayla took away Runaan's bowblade before the panel started

Runaan: but that's my emotional comfort trick weapon

Rayla: No. Ethari's Panel Rule #1. No stabbing or shooting people.

they pass a weapons display in the artist alley and someone made a replica of the Bloodborne bowblade and Runaan’s like, hm that looks familiar

Runaan wandering the con and talking to all the cosplayers with cool looking weaponry tho

he takes pics for Ethari

Runaan wandering the con and asking Runaan cosplayers, "So who are you supposed to be?" bc he genuinely doesn't know

he doesn't think he should be in the pictures for security reasons but he takes pix of Rayla posing with everyone dressed as Runaan

social media gets flooded with pix of his hair from the back though

#itssosoft trends on Twitter

Rayla sets up a pic where half a dozen happy fans get to brush Runaan's hair at the same time, and he's stuffing his face with moonberry surprise so he doesn't get nervous

it actually makes him look happy and social and Ethari is like HOW, HOW DID YOU MANAGE THIS, MAGIC

people shyly approach him and ask if he and Ethari can adopt them and he says yes

he ends up in a coffee shop zone with a couple dozen people gathered around and tells them the importance of found family in Moonshadow culture and he doesn't understand why they're all crying

Rayla teasing Runaan and telling him to tell a pirate story

Runaan is like, "Spoilers for Season 5"

some superfan nerd like mun tries to get him to admit how much he knows about Xadia and history and the show's plot, and he does that one line that all stabby people say. "I could tell you. But then I'd have to kill you."

he gets half a dozen volunteers and he is so concerned

Runaan, Protector of Secrets

Soren starts to spill about 14% of a secret and from across the entire con hall a green fletched arrow just zips by

Soren is like "You know what, never mind"

Cracky: Viren runs through the room looking for protection, and Runaan is like ugh fine who's after you this time, and Viren's all, "No one, my children are just being so silly and I just need a break for five minutes, can we please have a grownup conversation about something serious and angsty, please I’m actually begging you"

Runaan spots the adoraburr on Viren's ear and he's like, "Adoraburrs get lonely if they're alone," and he puts another one on Viren's other ear

and then a bunch more so they stack like a hairband and they're happier

Runaan just smirks and walks away

the adoraburrs start squeaking to each other and Viren is like, "Ugh, I preferred my children's terrible puns" and the adoraburrs get huffy and all hop down and abandon him

he does not in fact get adorapox because Viren believes in inoculation

some attendees would try to convince Runaan to "seek asylum" in NY and not return to Xadia or something, and he'd be like "But. Ethari."

they remind him that if he goes back he has to wait in a coin, and he doesn't get it

"Wdym. Ethari is there. Not here. I have to be there."

"BUT. COIN."

"BUT. ETHARI."

Rayla's like, I ain't Naruto running all the way back

She clicks a car fob and there's a *boop boop* noise

and this hovering coin like Tenser's Floating Disk shows up and they hop onto it and surf into the distance

Rayla shouts "SPOILERS FOR SEASON FOUR I KNOW WHO DIES AND IT’S-"

and Runaan is like "RAYLA DON'T MAKE ME HAVE TO SHOOT YOU, I COULDN'T DO IT LAST TIME AND I CAN'T DO IT NOW, DON'T GET ME IN TROUBLE I SWEAR TO THE M-"

talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, everyone hopes they come back next year too

#NYCC 2021 headcanons #runaan #ethari #rayla #moonfam #viren #claudia #soren #janai #amaya #tdp crack #this is so self indulgent and we do not apologize pls enjoy

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hillnerd · 2 years

Note

can you please do drastiria for the ask game?

ULTIMATE SHIP MEME! Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

General:

How long will they last? -forever she never dies stfu play

How quickly did/will they fall in love? -Draco is cold and shutdown and feeling very much dead for like 5 years after the war. He does some growing, but not as much as he should have- when he meets Astoria. She makes him feel alive- and not like he was before the war- like he's seeing things and being alive for the first time. He becomes infatuated with everything about her very quickly. Astoria on the other hand is intrigued by the sad grump in the corner at the charity events- vaguely knew him, but he was older than her by so much they never interacted directly once. He is SO different than the boy she'd seen before. He was so nasty and seemed ugly back then- but she supposed that was the expression on his face- he looked very different now- acted different too. Over time she grows to trust and love him- and when she loves she loves unreservedly. Draco wants to be a better man for her and actively works hard to be a better man.

How was their first kiss? -It was warmth and bliss and being able to breath after being underwater for too long.

Wedding:

Who proposed? Draco

Who is the best man/men? Blaise Zabini

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? Daphne

Who did the most planning? -Astoria

Who stressed the most? -Draco

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? many death eaters were not invited. This is a new start for Draco so , besides his father himself and (was blaise a death eater? never established) he's trying to keep it 'goodish guys' of society

Sex:

Who is on top? Positionwise, Draco like 70% of the time, but this doesn't make the sex bad. Dynamics wise Draco like 100% of the time.

Who is the one to instigate things? fairly even

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? They usually only have sex if they have a lot of time to do it- they are extra and want it to be long and lovely or nothing.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? No bc Astoria should get more

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it. I see their relationship is very soft and sweet, actually- like there is some sexy stuff-and dirty talk (why is dirty talk under rough?) but it's very reverential and beautiful and like something from a romantic novel

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? 1

How many children will they adopt? 0

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? house elf :P

Who is the stricter parent? draco

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? Both

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? house elf :(

Who is the more loved parent? astroria, though Scorpius love his father dearly and Draco is a very good father

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Draco, if he doesn't feel like he's 'becoming his father' too badly

Who cried the most at graduation? astoria because SHE DIDN'T DIE

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? Draco -it's not easy but he does his due

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? -neither cook much at all- Astoria occasionally does something here or there

Who is the most picky in their food choice? Draco-

Who does the grocery shopping? -House elf

How often do they bake desserts? -Astoria does every once in a while

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? -salad

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? -Astoria

Who is more likely to suggest going out? -Draco

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? -Draco, but he wouldn't be likely to do that.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? -house elf :P but Draco is slightly more prone towards fastidious surroundings

Who is really against chores? -Draco

Who cleans up after the pets? -Astoria

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? -Astoria

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? -Draco

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? -Draco

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? Astoria- though both of them take a looong time

Who takes the dog out for a walk? no dog. though i can see scorpius eventually begging for one and them giving in and the idea of draco standing in the rain waiting for a tiny dog named Crumpet to take a shit is hilarious

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? -every time and it's very extra

What are their goals for the relationship? -

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? -Draco

Who plays the most pranks? -astoria by default

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fangirlextraordinaire · 3 years

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Unexpected Happiness

Written for @autumnleaves1991-blog & @clydesducktape's Writer Wednesday with the pic below as the prompt (italicized in fic).

Pairing: JDM x GN!reader

Fulfills: Comfort (@j3bingo) and Fluff (@anyfandomgoesbingo)

Rating: G

Word Count: 742

Warnings: Mention of death of a spouse and divorce

The last year had been rough on you since your husband passed away. Tony was a good man, kind, funny, very easy on the eyes. His kind nature is what had him out that evening volunteering at the animal shelter. Driving home, he hit a patch of black ice and crashed into a tree. You were on the phone with him and heard everything. You could hear the ambulance sirens in the background (thank you, good Samaritan) and begged Tony to hang on but he exhaled a shaky I love you and then nothing. His internal bleeding proved to be too much and he died before EMS ever got to him.

It was so hard to move through life alone. Not just the immediate after but as time marched on: not hearing his voice, turning to tell him a funny story, having no one to cuddle at night. The quiet moments are the worst where you overanalyze everything and see if there was something you could have done. Your co-workers, no, your family from Supernatural had been your rock during your grieving. Checking up on you via text, video calls, even random memes just to make you smile.

One in particular had been your pillar of strength. Jeff had been good friends with Tony so he took his death hard as well. Couple that with he & Hilarie divorcing and you had a buddy to drown your sorrows with. It was nothing for him to come over with takeout to watch movies or drink when the sadness became unbearable.

On set, you two started a friendly game with everyone of leaving funny or sweet Post-Its for them to find. This continued when you had your hang out nights so seeing one wouldn’t raise any red flags with you. This is exactly what Jeff was banking on for this particular night. Neither of you could pinpoint when it happened but the dynamic between you had changed over time from just friends to something more. He didn’t know for certain if you felt the same way he did but he knew there was an undeniable chemistry there.

That night, you decided on Thai takeout and to watch Scream (very romantic choices there). There was only one rule for Hangout Night: none of your own movies. Neither of you really liked watching yourselves in your movies so those were a no-go. As Jeff plated the food, you grabbed drinks and wrote him a sweet note to attach to his beer bottle: “Thanks for everything. You’re a godsend.” His reaction was a kiss to your cheek and a hug that went on for a bit longer than normal, not that you were complaining.

After the movie, you needed to take a bathroom break which provided Jeff with the time he needed to write his own note. He wrote three and decided to put them on the dessert box:

No need for thanks, sweetheart. You’re worth it.

P.S. I never told you but I was falling in love.

P.P.S. I’m still falling, every day.

Coming back in the living room, you spotted the notes and shot a smile to Jeff who gently nudged you to read them. “Three? Why, I’m flattered, Mr. Morgan.” you say with an overly dramatic and dreamy sigh.

“Just read ‘em, ya goofball.” He studies your face as you go through each of them, a myriad of emotions flitting across but the smile never leaving.

Not wanting to break the moment, you look at him and whisper “You love me?” For the first time ever, you see a bashful Jeff in front of you and find it incredibly endearing.

“With everything I’ve got and then some. There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t think of you.” Instead of replying, you scoot closer to him and give him a kiss for the ages. You always thought of first kisses as shy, slightly hesitant but this was not that. The tension between you two had been building for so long that there was no room for shyness, just surety in the love you had for the person in front of you.

“I love you, too. I think I always have in some way.” Dessert was completely forgotten as you snuggled on the couch just enjoying each other’s company like usual but with the added bonus of stealing kisses from the other.

Life was pretty good from where you were sitting.

#Writer Wednesday #j3bingo #anyfandomgoesbingo2020

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fallingsunflower · 3 years

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BESTIES I'm so sorry - I hit my post limit waaaay earlier than expected! Some of y'all joined me on my backup account, (which I also hit the limit on lmao), but I'm back now.

I had over 400 asks to go through and I'll give you a warning that not all of them will appear (either because they were old or because they were topics we already answered). But here is a giant list of asks I compiled for you from when I wasn't allowed to post lol they don't really require my response but I found them entertaining to read. Hope you don't mind I've just put them all together in one post. It's also to save me from using up my 250 posts lol

"this is all so embarrassing like my god imagine when the promotion of the movie starts how horrible it will be for other people who made the movie too"

"SELL UR TICKETS TODAY WATCH THE MOVIE ILLEGALLY, next article we’ll be talking about these two assholes filing for bankruptcy. cheap harlots. don’t mess with your meal ticket."

"hate to say it but i defs think they‘ve got a sliver of the gp’s attention for five minutes"

"I am scanning through all these photos looking for just ONE where he looks like he's smiling and enjoying this. It's so crazy."

"I guess those are all the pics we’re getting right now. But I wouldn’t be surprised if they finish the Italy trip off with one more major Backgrid photo shoot."

"Olivia’s trending on Twitter but not Harry. Like it’s obvious who’s getting the PR gains here!"

"If they dont give us a 6 month or more break after this im gonna need them to pay for my therapy bills from now on bc of this damage no joke let me crawl back into my shit hole now 😑"

"The palce they at is referred to as “tuscanys best-kept secret”. Everyone point and laugh."

"she looks like she’s enjoying all of this. he looks like he wants to push her into the water."

"a few people said he’s keeping his shorts pulled up or covered in all the shots because of the Nike branding which they ask to not get photographed. What a setup."

"Man I knew the second those Tomdaya pics came out of them kissing and how they were trending so fast that HO were going to do something to 'top' them. Its pathetic /// FRRR. she probably hoped for the positive reactions that people gave tom & zendaya but unfortunately, miss girl got the opposite. when will they realize that nobody, but his fans, find them cute lmao can they just stop, it’s so embarrassing 😭😭😭"

"He really out here doing this with someone who almost old enough to be his mother, shiiiiiiiit. Sickening. Sick of these 2 for real now, i was fine with the good old blurry back content and whatnot but this? Crossing a line here nobody wanna see that shit and knowing how people feel goooooood damn."

"I aboslutely despise kendall for obvious reason but this one is actually worse than the hendall one bc you couldnt really see as much as now dis gos tang."

"She’s also wearing the cross necklace again. I feel like if that was so meaningful to her she wouldn’t risk loosing it in the ocean 🙄"

"guys have eyes on tmz. I Do not have tw now. they were so aggressive towards them"

"I'm sorry for Harry because you lost your damn mind bro"

"Now why the hendall pics are better ?? NO SHADE BUTT"

"I’m genuine confused like do they actually want dwd to flop or what? I just threw up in my mouth I sure as hell ain’t gonna watch their sorry ass movie. Is it supposed to flop? I’m so confused!"

"The match was not interesting enough so they cooked up something different especially since people were pointing out how they staged the PDA. And the page 6 article is out already!!!"

"Who the fuck thought this was a good idea"

"Is it just me or does harry's face looks really blank for someone out on a Romantic date with his alleged girlfriend.?"

"if thats it, harry hasn’t no game🤣🤣🤣🤣"

"so this is why the tabloids weren’t talking about the match pics! they didn’t have any value on their own. now with the yacht pics? my oh my they’re gonna get the clicks of their lives. her team was prob like “wait a sec we got something for y’all”"

"If they were models hired to act like a couple they wouldn't get the job......"

"Not them starring right at the camera in some of them help make it less obvious will you"

"HENDALL🤣🤣🤣is that uuuu"

"Harry’s ass crack thought it should make an appearance too."

"What a great day for team PR, happy Monday you guys! Let's pop the champagne 🍾🍾🍾🍾 P. S. They both need acting lessons, tbh"

"It’s quite interesting how everything that’s happened before I’ve seen predicted weeks/and in advance on blogs or fan accounts. Like his life has always been so predictable but damn"

"He was hiding the Nike check. That’s why his swim trucks are rolled up to an absurd degree even for him. He knew he was gonna get photographed."

"What I’m noticing is wether people like them together or not, everyone’s saying they’re aren’t a hot couple…there was more chemistry in the Kendall pics by far"

"i also find it weird that he’s not smiling in any of the pictures and it would be one thing if there were five pics from ten minutes of time but there are like 70 from an obvious extended period of time"

"It's interesting everyone involved is being Team Try Hard. Yet the universe says no. The last set of pics, Tom and Zendaya overshadowed. People even paid more attention to Angelina and the Weekend (even if business possibly). Fast forward to today and all this fakery only for Gwen/Blake to tie the knot. His team needs to get a clue. She needs to go. Harry needs to clean this up fast."

"Ok i looked at one hugging pic and one kidding pic and they could not look more stagged. It looks unatural ,strange and weird from all angles. You can clearly see from their body posture they are posing for a photographer from backgrid."

"Like I said in my ask a couple days ago the day we get kissing pics is the day that I believe this is all a stunt and I was right. They took a page out of hendall 2016 and it’s looks so forced and awkward. Hendall did it better cause at prater they had chemistry. They must be scared this movie is going to tank because they are pushing this way too hard"

"Real, PR, or whatever relationship it is, they’re fucking boring. You are on a yacht in Italy, can’t you have a little bit of fun? I can’t believe how boring they are, I just can’t. Even if it is just PR, can’t you make a fucking dumb joke so you can laugh or something? Do they have anything in common like to talk about or discuss or make fun of? I’d literally killed myself if I looked like that in a relationship. They are not communicating in any photos we’ve got. They are just walking, or sitting. Even when they hold hands or kiss or hug, they never communicate."

"okay but did ya’ll see the pic of her diving in?? i can’t stop laughing 😭😭😭😭"

"they look horrifically awkward i cannot believe what harry is doing"

"“HEY PAPS COME GET A PIC OF US KISSING TO MAKE OUR RELATIONSHIP MORE BELIEVABLE!!!!!”"

"his ass is hanging out and her bra is almost off what in the hell"

"Hqs on a yacht like that? Mhmhmhm hmmmmm / I bloody well hope that’s not the extend of their acting. That’s dire! 🤦‍♀️"

"this is literally the most predictable “couple” to exist. first, people talked about them showing up the game, and they did. second, people were just talking about kissing pics... AND THEY JUST CAME OUT LMAOOOOOO"

"annnnnnnnnnnnnd there it is. YOU KNOW THEY KNEW THERE WAS A CAMERA."

"ok but where’s the pda or did that get made up? cause these have to be the most awkward pics i’ve ever seen which makes me feel better 😂 also i can feel the meme’s coming with the one of her diving off the boat"

"I call it how I see it they are both assholes and full of shit. Like do your fake kiss somewhere else I do not want to see it!"

"Can they at least act like they’re having a good time?"

"hahahaha I can't stop laughing with that photo of O it's literally her knowing she's being photographed and diving into a professional swimmer style😭"

"the pics are so organic that Olivia is looking straight at the pap before kissing Harry."

"he looked a lot happier with kendall in their yacht pics compared to today’s. i know that was PR too, but he was very smiley and seemed talkative. with this girl it’s like the complete opposite lmao."

#this is also good visual proof for how many people are on team PR lol

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youremyonlyhope · 3 years

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Starship Rewatch

10 years ago today (well, yesterday since I’m posting it a day later), 15 year old Hope curled up on her couch to watch a new StarKid show called Starship right as it dropped. This was the first time I got to watch a show when it was posted since I didn’t become a StarKid fan until a months earlier. I was so excited.

And now, I’m rewatching Starship for the first time in full in at least 5 years I think. I listened to the soundtrack twice earlier today, singing along at my desk at work (thank god no one else was here tonight to judge me). I still know so many of the lyrics. And so many little jokes and stuff were flooding back. Starship was my favorite StarKid show for a long time, so I’m so excited to watch this again to see if it’s still my fave.

This post ended up being really long, so you’ve been warned. But it also includes pictures of the crocheted Roach and Bugette plushies that I made as a teen.

OH. THE OLD LOGO. AHHH. I already have so many feels. The future is now! I can’t handle this. The nostalgia! The Galactic League of Extraterrestrial Exploration. My facebook account to this day says I am a Starship Ranger at the G.L.E.E. because I’ve never bothered to change it. Also, shoutout to anyone from the StarKidPotter FB and EFST days if you’re reading this. AHHH IT’S CHRIS AND ERIC. Ok I might have to pause 20 thousand times during this Starship Ranger ad to acknowledge all the StarKid cameos. Tyler! “We come to conquer... in peace!” Tyler I love you. Brian and Richard! I forgot they painted Richard BLUE. Britney and Ariel! Nicholas Joseph Stauss-Matathia! I see that StarKid’s website has shortened his name to just Nicholas Strauss but remember the days when we’d purposefully say his full name? Anyway, I literally just screamed “NICK” when I saw him because he was always one of my faves. The Old Snatch was and still is iconic. Devin and Lily! The Wizard God himself, AJ Holmes. God... remember those AJ Holmes appreciation days where we’d make Chuck Norris-like memes about AJ? So much is rushing back from the depths of my mind oh my god... It’s been so long yet it feels like yesterday... “Someone really *static* F- *static* -ucked up big time” Love it.

2 minutes and 22 seconds in. I’ve written so much. I had to pause before Joey started singing to take a moment. I love this show so much. I love these goofballs so much. And they’re all so young. Most of them are younger than I am now. This is insane.

Ok I have to promise myself not to pause as much now. *Spoiler, I failed*

“I’ll fight off this gamma radiation if it’s the last thing I ever do!... We’re going down! This is the last thing I’ll ever do!” Oh my god. Look at baby Joey. He hasn’t even graduated from college yet. And that Bug puppet! Someone remind me to dig up the pictures of my crocheted plushies of Starship puppets since I made Roach and Bugette and gave them to the StarKids at SPACE and Apocalyptour. (I also did Rumbleroar, but the bugs were my own pattern I made so I was more proud) The camera is focused in on Bug instead of Joey’s face. I love it. So much. Brannnttttttt. My god. Am I gonna freak out over every single entrance? Roach pretending to die, he’s the best friend ever. “The needs of the many bugs outweigh the needs of the few bugs.” “Or the one bug, I know.” Oh man, when that line comes back... “Dirt eater” “Exoskeleton polisher” “I wanna build honeycombs” “The bug that ruins your picnic” “A fly on the wall!” That line came back to me earlier today and I died. Remembering that line was like 50% of the reason I listened to the soundtrack today.

Nick Lang! Julia! LAUREN LOPEZ. THERE SHE IS. Lovebugs, I can’t. *Sentimental music* “You could come over to my nest and I could... tear off your head and let my larva devour your body?” How did I forget that line? The way Lauren has to kick Bugette’s larva sack to walk. But the way that it also works so well with the character. I can’t. The Mosquito Brothers!! I forgot they show up so early. “This is our sister, Sweetheart” “...YO.” I CANNOT HANDLE JIM POVOLO. The “zzzz”s like buzzing as backing vocals instead of the usual “ahs” and “oohs.” The things you don’t appreciate until years later. Darren, you genius. That is such a good detail. For a second I couldn’t remember who the Overqueen is played by. 99% sure it’s Jim (It is). Also. Overqueen like ovary... and it looks like a giant vagina. That had to be pointed out to me later. “FLATTERY WILL GET YOU... everywhere.” Why did I forget that line too? “I’m a starship ranger” “Quiet you, you’re drunk” “No I’m drunk!” I remembered that line probably like... 2 minutes earlier when I noticed Joe huddling in the background and realized that line was coming up. The way Joey lets go of the puppet so both he and the puppet walk away with their arms limp... so cute.

Before even pressing play on part 3, I can hear February saying “Let the record show I am super ahead of schedule.” and I’m dying. I forgot about Brian as the escape pod. Denise Donovan! That Star Trek prop. I’m dumb so I can’t remember if it’s a communicator or what. But I know my Uhura Barbie had a mini one that I lost within a month probably. “OxyGen” “Schience” I can’t. “Mission Log... I think I just heard a spooky noise.” How am I forgetting all of these amazing lines? “Pika-pi!” AHHH I JUST SCREAMED. “My stars, I seemed to have landed in a field of these aMiNals!” I can’t. “Can I tell you guys something?” *port de bras and falls gently to the ground* “Hello!” “TOTORO!” I’m dead. The balloon mechanism on the mosquitos! I forgot about that! “HOLY SHIT IT’S A BUUUUGGGGG” Ok something I noticed but didn’t mention earlier. The bug puppet that Joe uses when he says “I had my heart set on nourishment” is the same one red and pink one that Julia used when talking about wanting to be nourishment. When Julia actually gets eaten, she’s using a different bug puppet, the green and pink one, but the same character voice. So, I can’t tell if they intentionally had her play 2 bugs so Joe could be one of them later, or if it was a mistake. I might also just be overthinking things. “ME THINKS IT WENT THAT-A-WAY” I cannot handle Jim Povolo. That scream Joe does as he slimes her. Woah I originally wrote “There seems to be no signs of intelligent lifeforms anywhere” earlier and then deleted it since I don’t know why I found it remarkable. And then looking at the comments of this part I see someone mentioned a Toy Story reference. So that’s why that line stuck out to me. Aww StarKid. There are so many Disney references in this show.

THERE SHE IS. THERE’S MY GIRL TAZ. The pew pew effects how could I forget that! “Hey Taz. You’re pretty tough for a chick.” “I was just going to say the same thing about you.” “Woahhhhhhhh” JoMo oh my god. “My spectrometer readings are off the wazooooooo” That line kills me. Why am I JUST NOW noticing, 10 years later, that Tootsie enters this scene with his gun facing the wrong way. Oh my god. “I saw the empirical proof that science killed god. It’s comforting to know he was once alive though. I like to think that when he died, he went to heaven.” Oh Tootsie Noodles. “...What the hell kind of name is that?” “He’s got bear hands??” Why do I forget all of these lines??!? That record scratch and freeze frame to go “BOOOOOO” oh my god I forgot that. “Like the other day, he was in the cafeteria, just cah-rying in front of everybody.” BOOOOOOO. Here we go, Taz’s amazing Up monologue. “And when Up, cuts an onion, the ONION is the one who cry.” HELP. Also 99% sure I used that joke for AJ appreciation at least one year. “Now take a walk off my knife” What a line. So awesome. I remember having a profile pic on FB that was the text of that monologue and the image of Lauren screaming “WALK IT OFF” I’m still convinced that first “WOO” from the audience that we hear when Up enters is Darren. “I do not peepee sitting down” “Huh??” JoMo’s face as if he’s trying his hardest not to laugh and I can’t tell if that’s him breaking character or if Krayonder is actually trying not to laugh. “I peepee like big boy, deadgoddamnit. So stop making fun of me because it hurts my feelings” I’m dying. Also, deadgoddamnit is amazing. “if you don’t go out there and die for something, then I will kill you for nothing.” I remembered the mirror scene, just seconds before it started and already started laughing. “You’re not a failure, overall.” “Allow me to introduce you to the final member of your team. MegaGirl!” I forgot how DRAMATIC that was. I also forgot that’s how MegaGirl comes into the story.

I need to stop pausing every 5 seconds oh my god I’ll never finish this tonight if I don’t.

“All hail AstroBoy” That was the funniest line. “MegaGirl, can you kill humans?” “No. But I’d like to.” I can’t handle it. “A horse ate my cousin! Me and horses got a feud.” #1 MegaGirl doing the “I’m watching you” hand sign. I can’t. “Hey. Miráme. *Slaps* NOW ESCHUCHAME” amazing. “Or that time. You taught me calculus... CALCULUS WAS TOUGH.” I never went past pre-calc. Nope. Ah. Get Back Up. One of my fave songs. “And now we dance.” Dylan’s “OW” as they lean back. “Ok Idiotas. Say something nice. Or I will kill you.” It’s all so iconic.

“So you still think being an egg planter is lame?” “...Yes.” The larva oh my god. I forgot we see one before the end. That’s Jaime playing the larva I think. Life is definitely one of my all-time favorite StarKid songs to this day. I wish it was longer. I love it so much. And I love that its instrumental is scattered as a motif throughout the show. “It’s a short, small thing we lead. With so much potential, pointless or essential, which one can I be?” Wow. Near Pippin levels of giving me an existential crisis. Also wow Joey improved his singing so much between AVPS and Starship. “My name’s Bug” “*Gasp!* Like a bug??” “Uh... no.” “Good. I’m February, like the month, but a person.” I should start saying that honestly. “I’m Hope, like the concept, but a person.” “You boldly go where every man -hey- woman -bark woof- or data dog has ever gone before! Sorry K9DX” Adorable. Joey’s subtle little double nod he makes the Bug puppet do when he’s shocked she thinks he’s a Starship Ranger. Amazing. Ah he said goddamn not deadgoddamn! February should have known right then he wasn’t human! “Take my claw” that too. "The only thing that needs to rest are your jokes, because they are so tired.” “Woahhhhhh” No but like... why don’t I use that line in everyday life... “Now I am slightly less weak.” “Ok. I’m going to shoot this metal bitch!” I’m dying. How did I forget the Taz/MegaGirl rivalry?? “That thing is a R-O-B-O-T man” “Can’t fool me with numbers, Krayonder.” I’m dead. “The stack of hay was my cousin!” #2 The way Meredith says “barometric pressure” is great. And Tootsie saying “Well you must take real good care of it, because I never would have guessed.” He’s such a sweetheart. “Nobody shoot dammit, nobody shoot.” “KILL KILL KILL” I never really liked Hideous Creatures but it’s so cute to see MegaGirl do the choreo robotically. I love that the Gap hasn’t changed. “Cool it skank, you do not know me.” Another line that I forgot until a split second before it was said. I’m so glad whoever edited this added some pews going in the wrong way for Tootsie’s gun. I know I definitely noticed Tootsie’s gun was backwards during this part, but I don’t know if I noticed it was backwards in that very first scene too. I forgot about MegaGirl tossing out Specs. That “MEGAGIRL!!!” scream from Joe though.

“Never in my 6 long days of life.” Underappreciated joke. Also, I think this is the 4th unique upright bug puppet. We got red/pink, green/blue, green/pink, and now red/blue. Also, Nick Lang is a great puppeteer. “Yes, I helped her escape. But I swear, never in a million years, did I think I’d be caught and yelled at for it!” Oh I forgot Bugette is the witness. Jaime’s angry face behind Joey is killing me. “He didn’t know the humans were evil.” “Oh, they’re not.” “Shut up!” Humoons and hoomans. “And no more singing or dancing” *gasps of horror* “The Overqueen has overspoken.” “Well, that’s not gonna help your chances with Bugette” Oh Roach. “PERHAPS.” Jim destroys me.

God the 4-person Pincer puppet. Amazing. Dylan’s arms being strong enough to be above his head for 10 minutes straight. Amazing. Also, Nick Lang is so emotive as a claw. It took me a sec but yeah JoMo is the tail. “There were? Where are they?” Joey’s face. “Tell me all about her” The claws under the chin I can’t. Hey StarKid, I see you throwing in an ad mid-video before Kick It Up a Notch. You’re lucky I love and support you guys. “Put ‘em together and what have you got?” bibbity boppity boo. More Disney references! This scene is full of them. Man, remember when we were all blown away by Dylan’s voice in this song the first time? Like we could tell he could sing in AVPM/S, but his songs were just so jokey and only his long “Welcooooooooooome” showed us his talent. But then Kick It Up a Notch happened. And we FINALLY appreciated Dylan’s beautiful voice. “I pushed it to the limit.” and “To coin a phrase, be a man.” more Disney. I might be overthinking this and will have to rewatch Life to confirm, but I think the camera zooming out as Pincer reprises Life is just like the camerawork when Bug sang it originally. If so, then wow even when filming their shows StarKid really thinks it all through. (Update: It totally is referencing the original zooms for Life and that’s amazing. Except it’s zooming out instead of in. I LOVE the attention to detail even in filming the show. I’m gonna guess that’s Liam’s doing.) All I can see when I hear Bug’s chorus of this song is Jaime and her SPACE tour dancing, which they incorporated in Apocalyptour as actual choreography. Because they’re goofballs. The kick line. Love it. God. Even though it’s not my favorite song from Starship (just because I love Life and Beauty more), Kick It Up A Notch is one of the best StarKid has ever done. I really has everything. Dylan’s gorgeous voice. Not one but two reprises of earlier songs to throw Bug’s own words back at him. Jim’s bass line. Awesome puppets. Disney references. It’s so amazing. I love how all the comments are either about Dylan’s voice or Dylan’s ability to hold his arms up for a 10+ minute scene or both.

"Gameover man, gameover!” “I feel like cutting open your belly, and filling it with jelly” *Gasps* Oh my god, I put on the captions for a second, and the caption said *Sad spayed puppy noises* “I am in charge of this mission now.” How did I forget about the mustache until 2 seconds before it happened? “She’s got the mustache now. *Kisses head* I love you” Oh my god Tootsie. I FORGOT ABOUT THE SECOND STACHE. There’s an ad right when we see Bug’s human form and I can’t even care because look at him! Ahhh. And the blue headband! Ahhhhh. Joey you’re so adorableeeee. “Bug? Well that’s a fine name.” His concerned face then the relief. Adorable. “Thank you sir. I am a tough bitch.” “Getting nothing but bug muff?!?” I love the slight delay the audience has before laughing as they realize what was just said. “Bug. You hard, ese. You flame.” I die. “Up there. In Space!” *dramatic pointing* No I totally didn’t just do the dramatic pointing with them... no that’s not in my muscle memory from 10 years ago... why would you think that. I’ll rave about Status Quo after it’s done. “But, what if I miss you?” Awwwwwwwww. And that “Just look up.” screenshot was used for “This.” memes in the fandom for years.

Oh Joey. Status Quo is such a good song too. And he really did improve as a singer to sing it. Earlier this week I remembered that this week is also the 10th anniversary of that time Darren was hopping from city to city every single day to promote the Warblers album. And at one point in that week he did a livestream that I remember rushing home to watch. In that livestream, I am 99% sure he sang Status Quo as a little sneak preview for Starship being released later that week. (Just checked, yep he sang it in a livestream on April 20 2011) God I love this song. Then the version the boys all sang for SPACE Tour was beyond beautiful too. Ahhh I love this musical.

Ok. It’s almost midnight. I started this 3 hours ago. I’m probably not finishing the show until 2am at the rate that I’m pausing and stopping to comment. But OH WELL.

“Dr. Spaceclaw” wow. “Leaving them behind was of little consequence, but a pleasure.” Oh Megagirl. “You did a very good job today too, son.” “*Gasp* Thanks dad.” That Star Wars fake-out though. Speaking of Star Wars, I really need to rewatch Ani now that I’m actively a Star Wars fan unlike last time when I still wasn’t invested in the movies I just watched them. How did I forget about Jaime playing Junior’s new mom?? ...Does Junior get an alien incubating in his chest... is that foreshadowing... I can’t remember. (This was like... half a foreshadow) This scene is funnier now that Breredith is married. The way Junior says “Phew” I’m dead. I remembered how they restrain MegaGirl once again 2 seconds before it happened oh my god. “We deserve bubbles on our skin.” An iconic line. “Well thank the long dead god you made it, Bug!” The crunching of the handshake, I can’t. Oh someone in the comments pointed out that Bug and February are doing the Tarzan hand thing while Up’s asking Taz to see a movie. Adorable.

Get yourself a man like Tootsie who won’t stand for you talking down about yourself. “Maybe this was all part of God’s plan. He made before he died.” I love the dead god jokes. I remember years ago some kid on facebook was like “The dead god jokes are offensive” and I was like “It’s a sci-fi musical about a bug in a human body but sure worry about god being dead.” but probably in an even more immature answer. I’m just mesmerized by Tootsie and MegaGirl’s verses. God. The first Dylan and Meredith duet. Amazing. And MegaGirl’s confused face is great. “Don’t press that button, or we’ll all be sucked into space.” So... Can anyone tell me what foreshadowing is? Oh shoot... ok wait no I’ll comment on that when we get there. God that is such a cute love song. I wrote barely anything just because I love that song so much. Would love to know where Tootsie’s taking her though.

Oh my god this scene! I forgot about this. How could I forget this. “Well the world always looks a little bit brighter, from on top of a lap.” I had remembered Bug sitting on Up’s lap, but not Specs. This is the part I forgot. Adorable. Ahhhh so cute. The Specs/Krayonder relationship was apparently cut from the filmed version, but was present if you saw it live. These moments are adorable. And I love how this is the second person JoMo’s had to carry in this show since he also carried Denise earlier. “Why if it isn’t Bug, my oldest friend.” and “Don’t say that, my dear.” are adorable. Oh wait. Up sat on Bug’s lap. Not the other way around. Ok. I didn’t remember this scene as well as I thought I did. I’m dying. I didn’t want to write anything during this, but oh my god “That son of a bitch Optimus Prime” I forgot that. I love the audience’s reaction to “The entire right side of my body, it’s a robot” because they all gasp, and then laugh at themselves for gasping. I knew there was something he couldn’t do without crying. I didn’t remember it being “Sir I Wanna Buy These Shoes” Christmas Song. It’s ok Up, I haven’t listened to that song in full in years. I can’t handle it. But Christmas songs in general make me cry too. Oh Up said goddamn instead of deadgoddamn too. Hmm... Aww the mother spider story. “I think the old you was just killing out of hate.” “Oh I was.” I’m dying. Awwww the nose kiss. I definitely remembered that. “Deadgodspeed soldier!” The way Joey misses catching the keys and also Darren’s “Woo!” in the audience again. So great. That 12 minute scene is just adorable and the Up story is so dramatic and hilarious.

Hmm finishing before 2am might be ambitious... “Hahaha. Then I’ll shoot him!” “Taking care of my business down on the planet is that cool with you?” Brian’s delivery of that line has always intrigued me. “How much I care about my MegaGirl unit’s survival is also a percent equivalent to zero” Rude. “You are nothing like my boyfriend, Tootsie Noodles.” “Yes, well - wait WHAAA” This scene is so different now that they’re married. “Ha. Ha. It was cute.” “You’re... a toaster.” *Slaps* Ok 1) I used to use that insult all the time and only half ironically. I was a strange teenager. 2) She just hurt a human... isn’t that against programming, or can she just not kill humans? Evil angry Brolden is something we need more of. I love Brian as a villain. More please. “You stupid goddamn robot” So I guess they say goddamn and deadgoddamnit. I’m overthinking the evolution of language in this universe. Also Brian’s screams while being choked are amazing. I’ve never forgotten those, if anything they’re better now.

AHHHH I REFRESHED AND DELETED ALL OF MY STUFF FOR BEAUTY. Kill me. I’m so mad. Let me try to recreate it but I hate myself. I was saving this draft after every part but OF COURSE I don’t save after my favorite song and then refresh.

Oh poor Meredith. Her white wig doesn’t let her blend in as much when she’s in the hoodies playing a bug. “Oh hey Bugette, we’re just trying to get Bug laid!” That bug had to know about Bugette’s crush though? That’s just cruel. “The ending is killer” ruuuuuuddddddddddeee. I know I had at least one more point, but that’s lost to the ether. Beauty is probably my fave, if not tied with Life. When I was listening to it earlier, I was overcome with emotion because it’s just such a joyful song. These days I cry over happy stuff almost as much as I cry over the sad. And these lines just hit so hard... I love it. I love this song so much and this scene so much. “Bug. She excreted her filth for you. WE DID IT!!!!!!!!” Brant Cox is so good. It really is a shame he’s not in anything else besides AVPSY and the 10th Anniversary with everyone else. “I do accept you for who you really are. A genius.” Well February, you’ll be glad to know that you thought of that, so you’re the genius. Wow. Junior’s 25, Brian was 25, and now I’m 25. This really was perfect timing for the 10th anniversary. Also I do not feel 25. “Suck off!” amazing.

I’M SAVING THIS TIME.

Ok next part. Luckily I was only 1 minute into the next part when I refreshed. Still so mad at myself... “Someone really firetrucked up big time” (Dead)God I love that line. I also used firetruck unironically. Once again, I was a strange teenager and I didn’t like cursing and I still don’t. “This is so weird, I’m so used to the scrambly version.” (It was while writing this line the first time that I refreshed and lost Beauty....) Ok as I watch AJ, it’s hitting me that he almost definitely came to the set during rehearsals and filmed his part since it’s not a green screen like the rest of them. “The hunters have become the hunted, and it’s wabbit season.” “That was a good video, until the end when it got sad.” Thanks Bug. “I think, I just had a think” See February’s smart. “I’m in a weird situation” Love that line. “Bug is a BUG!? I DON’T BELIEVE IT” Oh Junior. Dylan’s insulted face at “I am not... a dumbass.” So I can’t tell if Brian forgets he’s trapped when he moves his arms into a more relaxed position to lean on the column and then puts them back, or if it’s purposefully staged that way. Brian’s acting while he pretends to be shy and embarrassed about his evil plan is amazing and adorable. Brian has a good evil laugh, why don’t we get him as a villain more often? Also I was gonna make some sort of joke about Nick as Pincer’s left claw vs. Robert as Snarl’s left paw, but I’ll leave it be.

I FORGOT ABOUT THAT WEIGHT TAZ WAS LIFTING JUST FLOATING UP TO THE SKY WHEN SHE LETS GO. I just laughed out loud. “Damn that G.L.E.E. They’re always making twisted abominations of everything!!” I cannot handle it. And the wink. Poor Darren but also not poor Darren at all. I was just now WRACKING my mind for who could possibly be playing Pincer’s tail if JoMo was being devoured by mosquitos. It’s Brant. Literally the entire cast is currently onstage. Ok Krayonder’s been getting his blood drained for 3 minutes, why is he alive? OH I FORGOT KRAYONDER GETS UP AND SHOOTS THE BUGS. Ok and he gets chopped by Pincer’s claws too so HOW does he survive? StarKid answer!!! I forgot how dramatic this musical gets when you got both the bugs and MegaGirl coming after the humans. Aww the Vulcan salute from Specs. “I changed my name. To Tootsie... MegaGirl.” I love the reactions of the people in the audience who immediately realize what that means. I hear at least one “oh my god” that sounds like sobbing. Awwwww Tootsie’s “that’s real” speech and “I’d love you if you was the horse that ate my cousin.” (#3) just... get yourself a man like Tootsie MegaGirl. He is perfection. God the downloading love scene is so cute. I can’t handle it.

The Up saving Taz scene is so dramatic. Then Brian and Jim just calmly walk offstage. It kills me. Also why did Jaime just continue to lie there? “I just needed to learn how to kill with my heart.” Not exactly what Bug meant, but it works. God Taz climbing onto Up’s back is still the most hilarious thing ever. Whoever thought of her climbing that way was a genius. So funny. I always wanted to try it. Holding the gun up to her head like a blowdryer always gave me anxiety. Making the door out of a scrim that can be backlit was genius. Oof and bringing back “The needs of the many bugs outweigh the needs of the few bugs. Or the one bug.” just hurts. Poor Bug. My heart. This is probably the line that sticks with me to this day and I do think about sometimes.

Ok it’s now 2am and I still have 2 more parts.

I sorta love that Joey didn’t have the time to change into his blacks so he’s still in the Starship Ranger suit while playing the Bug puppet. “Save the Overqueen. I love her.” Awww. “Roach, I’m gonna get the job done if it’s the second last thing I do.” Love it. That Kick It Up A Notch Reprise though. Brian, you should play villains more often. Also remember all of us being like “LUPIN CAN SING?!?!?!??!!” “Lucky for me, God is dead. When you see him in hell, tell him Junior sent you.” Deadgod I love that line. This whole deadgod thing was just leading up to that amazing line. Oh no Bugette! Bug saying “maestro” oh my god. “DFSDSJFDSJKFDS... I’m dead.” I forgot that part! Oh my god the way Brian flicks the glasses back down on his face. Ok so I saw Lauren wiggle her way behind the mucus sac, but I didn’t see Nick come onstage. I rewinded, and I guess the zoom in shots on Brian and Joey were timed so we can’t see Nick join Lauren to be the first larva to come out. Oh well. And I love the crowd cheering as Junior dies. “And bingo was his name-o” That callback though. I forgot that the Overqueen eats Bugette’s body while crying. “Or Bugette! Oh...” Also god Roach is adorable.

Last part. 2:21am. Here we go. Krayonder got his blood sucked out by giant mosquitos and was cut up by a giant scorpion, but all he needs is a bandage around his head. Awwww the soft “I Wanna Be” playing the background as Bug begs the team to accept his bug form. Bug being so mad “It’s that bastard Pincer isn’t it?” and then being so happy that Joey does the little nose scrunch thing. So cute. JOEY’S FACE WHEN DENISE KISSES THE BUG PUPPET. Cannot believe I forgot that until 2 seconds before it happened too. “I now pronounce you man vs. machine. Fight!” WOAH. Why in the WORLD did “eep op ork ahah” come back to me. I was able to say it WITH Joey. That was straight from the DEPTHS of my teenage brain oh my god. I forgot about that oh my GOD. THAT’S INSANE. I FORGOT SO MUCH STUFF BUT I REMEMBERED HOW TO SAY “I LOVE YOU” IN BUG.

And the Beauty reprise.

God I love this musical. It’s still my fave StarKid show I think. And I’m horrified to see that it has only 500K views for the last part, so only 500K people have watched it all the way through after 10 years. That’s disgraceful. It’s amazing. Watch Starship.

It is 2:32am. I started at 8:50pm. Got sidetracked when I had to rewatch the Beauty part of Act 2 again to make sure I got my notes back in the post. Took a few bathroom breaks. But this is mostly because I paused every like 10 seconds to make a comment, so it took 5 and a half hours to watch a 3 hour musical. This why I take forever to watch things while liveblogging. I take too long to writing notes.

I’ll probably just post this in the morning. Gotta proofread for mistakes before posting.

Ok it’s the next afternoon. This post is literally 5,000+ words and takes 20 minutes to read according to a online word counter. I’m sorry to whoever read this entire thing. Your reward is the pictures of the Starship plushies I crocheted when I was 15 and 16.

(Ignore the bad lighting and my horribly chipped paint. That’s the only picture I have of the Bugette one since I gave it to Lauren Lopez a day later. I started making another for myself shortly after but never finished. Maybe I should finally finish the second one... hmm...)

#hope rewatches starkid #guys i'm not kidding it's 5000+ words i wrote a lot i commented on basically every single second of this 3 hour musical

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artificialqueens · 4 years

Text

Girl I Met On The Internet, 2/? (Crystal x Gigi) - Strawberry

a/n: aaaa i’m so glad everyone liked the first chapter! i think this story will end up staying focused on gigi and crystal for the most part, but there is some (one sided) jankie in this chapter if you’re into that! also: just in case no one got the reference, the nickname crystal gives gigi, ‘georgia rose’,comes from the 1d lyrics “Said her name was georgia rose, and her daddy was a dentist” from their song ‘best song ever’!

gigi: are u okay :( ily crystal

crystal: yeah i just got picked on by this cheerleader that doesnt like me

Technically, she wasn’t lying. Crystal didn’t think it was too bad, considering she really only ever saw Dahlia in history class, but she still made it her mission to make that 45 minutes rough for Crystal whenever possible. This time it was pushing all of Crystal’s belongings off of her desk while she was leaving.

gigi: fuck. im sorry.

crystal: it’s fine dskjdshjgkjf i wish all cheerleaders could take notes from you and jan

gigi: yaaas me and jan invented being nice

gigi: but i was wondering if maybe you could teach me about one direction later tonight?

Crystal had tried to convince the group earlier in the week that One Direction was the best boy band ever, and had only managed to get Jan to agree. She was glad that Gigi had finally come to her senses.

crystal: finally changing your mind? amazayn!

gigi: i regret asking now. take that pun back to 2011!!!!

The rest of the day went as normal. The chat was pretty active, but eventually died down at the end of the school day. Everyone seemed to have plans; Jan was studying, Jaida was going out to hang with friends, Nicky was sleeping, and Heidi was starting a new challenge on the Sims. It appeared to be just her and Gigi, alone in the group chat.

Crystal decided to message Gigi privately, not wanting the rest of the girls to see her go into full stan mode. If someone asked Crystal about her interests, she could go hours before thinking of stopping herself.

crystal: ok miss gigi are you ready for your 1d crash course?

Crystal told Gigi everything she wanted to know and even more. A history of how they got together, way too much information on each of the five boys, telling her the best songs on each album, and making sure that Gigi knew ‘Midnight Memories’ was their best album.

gigi: but ur @ is dedicated to made in the am?? fraud!

crystal: HELPFDFHBJ

crystal: mmcrystal sounds weird… like no thanks

gigi: that was very interesting.. i’ll def listen to midnight memories in the morning <3

crystal: YAY! gigi 1d stan finally

gigi: no promises! :)

Crystal didn’t respond to that, not really knowing what to talk about now. Having a group of friends helped her be less awkward, but it definitely didn’t fix that problem completely.

gigi: do u wanna play 21 questions or something?? to get to know eachother better???

Of course, Crystal jumped at the chance to get to know the other girl better. It started very innocently, asking about favorite colors and foods. Gigi quickly changed that.

gigi: uhh… have u ever kissed a girl?

crystal: sadly no.. my state is full of straight people

gigi: same.. ur turn

crystal: this feels awkward to ask but uhhh….

As soon as she hits send, she instantly regrets it. She backtracks what she had originally typed, desperately trying to come up with another question. Crystal was not able to think of anything else.

gigi: ????

“I guess I’ll have to do it,” Crystal says, talking to absolutely no one. She types it out again, looking away from her phone as she blindly tried to hit the send button, like it would help her situation be any less flustering for her.

crystal: how long have you and nicky been dating?

Would Gigi find it weird that she asked? Gigi was the one who brought up kissing girls, not Crystal, so it would be fine. Right?

gigi: CRYSTAL WHATBDGNHSDMFD

gigi: nicky and i are not dating omg im single

gigi: she’s like my sister. plus i would never do long distance

Crystal was so embarrassed. She was relieved this conversation was taking place through a screen, so Gigi wouldn’t see her blushing face.

She was pleased that she was wrong about the two girls, but Gigi’s answer was upsetting to her.

They asked a few more personal questions before Gigi started asking Crystal would you rather questions instead. Crystal’s favorite out of them was if she would rather get a mullet or dress like a clown every day for the rest of her high school career. The answer was both, obviously.

They spent the rest of the night sending each other stupid questions, giggling to themselves. The later it got, the more Gigi would flirt with her. At least Crystal thought it was flirting.

gigi: it’s really late and i have a test tomorrow so im gonna go to sleep. goodnight, babe

Gigi always would say ‘goodnight, bitch’, and this made Crystal even more confused. The ongoing joke that lesbians had the hardest time telling if a girl is into them or not was one of Crystal’s favorites, but now she couldn’t help but wonder if that was exactly what was happening to her. There was obviously a connection between them, but it was unclear to Crystal if it was just platonic.

It didn’t hit her until later that night, while she was trying to fall asleep, but Crystal wasn’t entirely sure where Gigi lived. She knew they were in the same time zone, but wasn’t sure what state she was in. It was totally possible that Gigi lived in Missouri, but Crystal highly doubted it. Though Gigi obviously trusted Crystal enough to want to play 21 questions with her, she was still very private, and Crystal wasn’t too sure if Gigi would tell her what state she was in.

Crystal fell asleep thinking about her highly unrealistic perfect world, where Gigi lived in Missouri and where Crystal wasn’t just another Nicky.

Crystal got onto Twitter right after waking up the next morning, ready to ask Gigi if she happened to live in Missouri, but quickly got distracted with a very interesting conversation going on in the group chat.

jan!: now i may not be gay but i’m in love with a woman… 2 words jackie

jaida: i- that’s only one word

jan!: fuck

heidi: the way i can’t tell if you’re joking or not

jan!: the way i don’t think i am joking

gigi: YAAS about time u admitted that u like her

crystal: hold on i thought jan was straight?? who’s jackie???

nicky: do you really think a straight person would hang out with us?

crystal: good point

jan!: I AM STRAIGHT! i think? i don’t know i’m so confused.

heidi: jackie is jan’s local @ crystal

gigi: jan be like: im straight.

gigi: but also jan is like: wow jackie is so pretty and she’s so funny and smart i’m going to fail geometry so she can tutor me but no homo!

heidi: the delusion janice has…

jaida: not to be serious but if you think you like jackie, you probably aren’t straight baby. everyone else hush and let her talk

nicky: ^^ yeah jan what happened

jan!: first of all i did not fail geometry i just said we should study together so we did!!! and have been for months! but last night i couldn’t focus at all bc she’s so pretty all i wanted to do was k*ss her out of nowhere

In a way, Crystal could definitely relate. Gigi wasn’t her local, she still didn’t know what the girl looked like, but she still kind of wanted to kiss her. She couldn’t focus on anything besides Gigi sometimes, not like she would ever admit it.

All of the girls had sent many comforting messages addressed to Jan, saying that it was okay, and she has all the time she needs to figure out her feelings. Afterwards, everyone had gone back to being playful. Gigi also tried to convince her to make a move on Jackie, which Jan refused.

gigi: if u talk to her u guys can get married <3

crystal: gigi you’re so stupid i love it

jan!: omg did someone say stupid love??? stream!

gigi: crystal back me up :(

crystal: i might’ve found out who jackie is only 10 minutes ago but i will cry if jan doesn’t talk to her right now

jan!: better start crying bc i dont think i can even look at her now

jaida: that’s not saying much at all. you cried the other day bc gigi sent a pic of her dog

crystal: I AM A NANCY STAN FIRST AND A HUMAN SECOND!!

Crystal knew she looked like an idiot, walking to her locker with her eyes glued to her phone and a dopey smile on her face but she couldn’t care less.

The day actually went well for Crystal. The highlight of her day was finding out that the story she wrote for her creative writing class had gotten the highest grade out of everyone in the class, earning her a piece of candy.

crystal: just got candy and a 99% on my story for class… i truly have the mind of a mastermind

jaida: beauty and intelligence in one combined!

Navigating through the halls was much more difficult when your eyes are glued to your phone, but replying to a meme Jaida sent seemed much more appealing to Crystal than getting to her seventh period without worrying about bumping into someone. And bumping into someone, she did.

“What the actual fuck, weirdo?” Dahlia yelped, looking extremely offended, “Get off of your sad, cracked phone and watch where your dumb ass is going.”

Crystal just stared at her, frozen in fear. Dahlia taunted her daily, but this was very different from how she usually acts towards her. It was quite terrifying.

“I swear to God, if you ever look at me, let alone fucking touch me again-” She continued, but before she could finish her statement, she was interrupted by her friend, Georgina running over and pulling her away.

Crystal didn’t think Georgina shared Dahlia's hatred for her, and Crystal didn’t hate Georgina either. Georgina actually seemed very sweet besides the fact that she had never bothered to step in on the rare occasion Dahlia happened to target Crystal outside of class.

“Can you please leave her alone? We don’t have time for this.” Georgina groaned, looking back at Crystal, flashing her a quick smile, before turning around to escort Dahlia to what Crystal assumed was cheerleading practice.

“But she bumped into me!” Dahlia whined, not used to being interrupted like this.

“Really? Wow, funny. I don’t care.”

Once they were out of sight, Crystal was alone again. She pulled out her phone and went to check if anyone had said anything else in the chat; just Jan freaking out, because Jackie had smiled at her in the hallway.

heidi: everyone say i if you think jan should stop being a baby and ask jackie out

jaida: i

crystal: i

jan!: WTF

jan!: friendship ended with heidi, jaida and crystal. now nicky and gigi are my best friends

jaida: they would say i too if they were online and you know that

jan!: i don’t need friends! they disappoint me!

Crystal decided to not use her phone while she was walking home, not wanting to have a repeat of the Dahlia situation. Her after school routine changed a lot in the past week, making a rule to not check Twitter before completing her homework. Her Twitter addiction was getting worse, but since it was also causing her to be more productive with doing her homework, she saw no issues with it. Once she had finished, she picked up her phone to see that Gigi had messaged her less than a minute ago.

gigi: hey clown :) im done w practice

crystal: WHY AM I A CLOWNDFSHDM

gigi: u just have clown energy. i cant and wont explain

crystal: honestly yeah i see it but can i at least be your clown wife or something

gigi: yeah <3 hey clown wife! i listened to most of midnight memories and it was really good! my fave song is u and i

If that’s not love, then what is? If that’s not friendship, then what is? Crystal had never been able to get anyone to listen to anything she recommended, ever. She was filled with glee, double tapping the message to heart it. It meant a lot to her.

crystal: YAYAYAYAYA im so glad but it looks so ugly when you spell it like that

gigi: my fave song you and i* >:(

crystal: better

gigi: if i have to stop spelling it as u to make you not divorce me i will

Crystal knew deep down it was just a joke, but it made her heart race. The feeling she got every time Gigi would flirt with her was very unfamiliar, but very nice. It didn’t help that Crystal thought ‘You and I’ was one of the most romantic songs One Direction had, she couldn’t help but make the fact Gigi liked it out of all of the other songs into something it was not.

This reminded her of her late night thoughts. She had completely forgotten to ask Gigi where she lived, but the idea didn’t seem the greatest now that she was fully awake. She was still curious though, so against her better judgement she asked, without a segway or anything.

crystal: i forgot to ask but what state do you live in? asking for science

gigi: oh i live in missouri

crystal: omg me too

gigi: i don’t wanna reveal where but this is amazing.. maybe we won’t have to break the distance at all <3

Pleased that she somehow got an answer, Crystal changed the conversation into a discussion of ‘Midnight Memories’, and if Gigi agreed with the opinions Crystal had shared the night before. She did, for the most part and before they knew it, it was time for Gigi to go sleep. Had they really talked all evening?

gigi: i have to get up early so i need to go to sleep but im really glad jan added u to the gc

crystal: and im happy you asked me about one direction!

gigi: me too. ur cute when ur passionate. i hope we can continue to grow closer

crystal: i’d like that.

gigi: goodnight, my clown :)

crystal: goodnight, georgia rose

gigi: U DID NOT

gigi: my full name isnt even georgia and dad isnt even a dentist but i’ll allow it bc i know u think u invented comedy

gigi: ok gn now <33 luv u

crystal: gn!!! sleep well

Crystal wanted them to stay like this forever.

#rpdr fanfiction #gigi goode #crystal methyd #jan sport #jaida essence hall #heidi n closet #nicky doll #dahlia sin #crygi #lesbian au #high school au #social media au #girl i met on the internet #strawberry #submission #s12

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thatsridicarus · 4 years

Text

Gonna say something about Soup.io real quick

Ok maybe not-so-real-quick. Hooboy. Where do I even begin?

It was my LIFE for a significantly long time. It was my anti-Tumblr before I even got a Tumblr. It was a safe haven to upload things I don't really wanna share with my friends.

Starting from the early 2010s I've been trying A LOT of alternatives for popular sites, some are thankfully stable, most of them aren't. For the longest time I thought Soup was one of the most stable sites I could rely on & it did prove me right for many years. Like, whenever an alternative site failed on me I'll always store a backup of whatever important posts I have there on Soup.

Yfrog died? Off to Soup.

Twitwall died? Back 'em dreamjournal entries up in Soup.

FYI I used to dump all my dream journal entries in the (now defunct) text auto-imports from Twitter, Jaiku, Ask.fm, etc. And it also works as a bookmarking site when all the bookmarking sites I've tried failed on me everytime.

Speaking of the anti-Tumblr part, I was pretty proud to own a Soup blog in place of a Tumblr blog & I would repost all the memes & stuff from my friends' Tumblr blog into Soup. (It was a hassle of course but I didn't even care). But the one thing I got a kick out of was copying other people's Tumblr fanart & turn them into Soup, since I thought nobody would care or even notice. To me this felt kinda robin-hood-ish, taking the love & attention of one perceived popular website & giving it to its less popular alternative. Back then I was still doing finals in university, & turning all those blues into reds lifted & kept my spirits up.

After graduating from university I moved on to actually making original fanart for Soup in the meantime, while still looking for jobs back then. A few of those fanart got featured in their ads & the developers liked it so much they sent me a Soup t-shirt & a tank top as a thank you gift which I still wore today. The thought of them sending shirts from across the globe all the way here is totally unexpected. Count this as an early birthday present (cuz it was days before my birthday) and to this day I still can't thank them enough for it.

Weird cuz in the previous year, just for fun, I photoshopped this Soup logo on a red shirt I already have, hoping I could have a Soup shirt for real. My prayers have been answered.

In a way, Soup also gave me room for experimenting in blog customization. In the early days I'd go around trying to copy my friends' blogs' looks (they're mostly on Tumblr & Blogger with multitudes of themes & Soup has like 4 other themes besides the default) & since I only know simple HTML & CSS & not much beyond that, I had to view the source page of these other blogs & tried seeing what codes can make certain pics float, or cursors change, or the likes.

There was one time when I actually made the cursor on my blog change, but I still couldn't nail the layouts like those other tumblr/blogger/wordpress/livejournal blogs. In the end, changing the background images is good enough... until Notasecondtowaste introduced Souperstyles to all of us, with lots of customized themes & even more customizable CSS-es. Also also that one time someone made a grid look for their Soup, that happened too, & that got me drawing this comic.

After getting my own Tumblr 2 years after I got my Soup, I went full matchy-matchy on both blogs in case one or the other screws up or something, then I'll still have backup on the other. Who would've guessed Soup was the first to die, after all these years. Gotta say I'm lucky I didn't really need to export my Soup content much following the site's demise, as besides my artworks, music & memes simultaneously posted on tumblr, my chat screencaps & dreamjournals are safe somewhere else.

There’s still some things I don’t quite like about Soup though, like how it doesn’t allow multiple images in a post (they used to, though, using automatic imports we can make a gallery from all the images we selected, not anymore). Also there’s not a lot of fandom comunities in Soup too, especially with my fandoms (the blame’s on me & not the website) thats why I was glad when I found out group blogs for Doctor Who, My Chemical Romance, 30 Seconds To Mars & comic enthusiasts exist in Soup.

Despite all that, Soup still wins me over with its versatility.

To me, Soup is a place where I can be alone & yet still interact with other people. Completely different people from my usual online friends I have in other social media. All the other alternative social sites I've tried don't really have a significant amount of active users, thus using those sites still feels kinda lonely without all the reactions. In Soup they’ll still react & repost your posts into groups & stuff.

Recently I’ve tried Soup clones popping out before Soup’s death, like Loforo, & earlier last year, Newtumbl. They’re light, they’re alright, though they still don’t really feel like Soup. But hey I’m sticking around Loforo for now, it’s still improving & introducing new features.

I'm really gonna miss Soup.io. Thnks fr th mmrs.

#soup.io #random notes #r2 writes

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impossible-rat-babies · 4 years

Note

pollux n ortega for the ship meme!

ship meme

General:

How long will they last? - once they’re settled and actually have all their baggage out in the air it’d be a together forever sort of thing

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - a year or two? pollux knew he had some sort of feelings for ortega, but calling it love is something he isn’t ready to admit even seven years later

How was their first kiss? - lolol messy in the sense of “oh fuck oh fuck a car landed on you and you could’ve died”. there was some blood too, so i guess that counts as a mess XD

Wedding:

Who proposed? - ortega, if they would get married--closer to an elopement where only ten people are allowed to come. no one in the public eye learned they got married for months

Who is the best man/men? - i dunno, steel?

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - none

Who did the most planning? - tia elena and ortega. pollux had things he wanted, but he kept his fingers out of the planning

Who stressed the most? - pollux, for sure. not because of a lack of care, but it’s just he’s got anxiety ;-;

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - the press

Sex:

Who is on top? - ortega. but pollux does top on occasion. it’s fun

Who is the one to instigate things? - ortega eight times out of ten

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - depends. they could spend an hour having a very fun time, or just twenty minutes and it be equally as fun

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - they both enjoy it equally and that’s what matters

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - none. pollux can’t have children

How many children will they adopt? - none

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - hypothetically, ortega

Who is the stricter parent? - pollux? he’d struggle with parenthood, having no real good examples of parental behavior to model. he knows what he wouldn’t want to do and that’s a start

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - pollux

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - ortega

Who is the more loved parent? - neither, they’re both loved in their own ways. ortega would be the more fun parent and pollux the one to go to when you have problems

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - pollux

Who cried the most at graduation? - ortega

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - pollux

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - ortega. he’s the better cook and pollux is more than happy to let him

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - pollux. his stomach gets more sensitive the older he gets. that doesn’t stop him from eating things that will give him a tummy ache though

Who does the grocery shopping? - ortega, but pollux will go along to help

How often do they bake desserts? - often. there’s always baked goods in the house from cookies, to bread and pie. pollux is a stress baker and he’s stressed like 24/7

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - more like who has the more healthy diet v. the person who forgets to eat three times a day

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - pollux

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - ortega

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - neither

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - pollux

Who is really against chores? - pollux

Who cleans up after the pets? - ortega

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - ortega

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - pollux, but because he doesn’t like having guest all that often

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - ortega

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - both. hot water feel good

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - pollux. he takes cheese to the dog park a lot

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - the major holidays like thanksgiving and end of year celebrations

What are their goals for the relationship? - being happy together and spending the time they have with each other. it’s simple and plain, but they’ve had a complicated relationship with each other for a long time

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - both. pollux has insomnia, ortega keeps unusual hours and they both have ptsd real bad, so they sleep when they can sleep

Who plays the most pranks? - both? one of them instigates things and then it’s all downhill from there

#ask meme #oc tag #oc talk: pollux #x. quarter past midnight #thank you!#homopassing

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jksmoongf · 5 years

Text

Kissing Fire [pt. 11]

Pairing: Jungkook x reader x girlfriend (oc) Genre: cheater!AU, angst, smut Wordcount: 11.4k Warning: smut, lies, heartbreak and more lies and maybe fluff if you squint

Summary: It always feels like there is only one person in the world to love. And then you find somebody else.

a/n: I don’t condone cheating on your s.o., so please don’t read if you have a problem with this! (also I’m not saying this is something Jungkook would actually do!) **a/n: thank you for your patience, angels! 💗 It’s been a while and I hope anyone still reads this <3 (also idk what happened to the og upload but it was kinda weird -.-) I’m also dedicating this chapter to my sweet @struggleofarmy!!! You helped me so much and without you, I probably wouldn’t have finished it! thank you for everything! 💗 ily Warning chapter 11: none, it’s just an angsty mess!!! (profanities, maybe?)

Jungkook closed the microwave door on the leftover food; her eyes glued to his pretty face as his lips puckered into a kissy-shape, trying to set the temperature and the time before pressing the start button. He turned around, locking eyes with her. “We have exactly 3 minutes and 45 seconds.” He wiggled his brows but a strange feeling of embarrassment washed over her, making her cheeks flush that he caught her staring. “Noona, do I have something on my face?” Jungkook mused, mouth curving upwards into a smile. Shaking her head no, she hoped the color would soon disappear from her face. “So where were we before you said you were hungry?” He closed the distance between them quickly, trapping her between his body and the counter. The warmth that radiated off him as his face got closer and closer with every blink, made her feel all fuzzy as his fingertips gently trailed up her arms, over her shoulders and up her neck until he cupped her face. The pads of his thumbs softly caressing her skin when his lips ghosted over her own. She knew this was supposed to be a sweet and tender moment shared between just the two of them but she just couldn’t help herself. She crashed her lips onto Jungkook’s; feeling the smile tugging on the corners of his mouth while she so desperately tried to get a taste of him. Her hands tangled in his messy dark hair, pulling him closer to her as their tongues gently nestled against each other. He sighed into her mouth when her fingers gently scratched over his scalp. Maybe, just maybe, they could ditch the food and go back to his room for a little while and just indulge in a heavy make-out session where she was sure he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands to himself for more than a few seconds.

But the repeated beeping of the microwave made them separate sooner than expected.

With a groan, she blindly reached for her phone next to the pillow where she had placed it after being on FaceTime with Jungkook just hours ago. She knew that in the morning, she would regret not listening to him when he repeatedly told her to sleep and get plenty of rest before work.

But talking to him was so much more important than sleeping; she just loved listening to him talk about his day, especially after an exciting event like the night before. Sometimes, it scared her that he was often surrounded by pretty girls who were a lot more talented than she was; leaving her to wonder why he had chosen her instead of someone who perfectly understood all his struggles. But at the end of the night he called her to whisper sleepy I love you’s or FaceTime until they both fell asleep.

[Jungkook - 4:12am]

Ah noona, I already miss you! Sleep well and have a good day at work! Text me whenever you can! Can’t wait to see you when your shift is over! I love you (∩˃o˂∩)♡

Her grip tightened around the phone, pressing it to her chest, she kicked her legs and muffled a squeal into the plush bunny he had given her. Jungkook was always so sweet; he must have known how happy it would make her to be waking up to a text from him but after reading the text over and over, her eyes darted to the time on top of the screen.

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” She cursed under her breath, trying to free herself from the confinement of the two blankets and the robe she was wearing. In a hurry she put on her work uniform and got ready to leave, running just a few minutes late.

Shoving the last bite of a banana into her mouth; she put on her denim jacket before slipping on her black patent-leather shoes with the small dainty gold buckle.

As if the devil himself was chasing her down the street, she ran as fast as she could to catch her train to Hongdae and just in time she squeezed through the door right as it was about close, the hem of her skirt almost getting caught.

She leaned against the door on the opposite side, catching a glimpse of her reflection. The wind had caused a few strands of hair to get loose, making her bun look messy. While trying to tuck the hair back to where it belonged, she pulled out her phone, finally having enough time to reply to Jungkook.

[y/n - 10:33 am]

I miss you too, Kookie! My shift ends at 6pm so I can come over after. I’ll bring food for you and the boys! Just let me know what you want, you know I get a discount so don't hold back! I love you too!

[y/n - 10:35M]

Btw, I should have listened to you when you told me to sleep. I’m so tired but also so excited to see you later. I hope you slept well, baby!

After locking the screen, she let her eyes wander around the cart. A group of teenage girls, all gathered around one phone caught her attention.

“Is that really him? It can’t be.” One of them whispered-yelled, immediately covering her mouth with her hands after one of her friends slapped her arm and scolding her.

“Of course it is him. It’s his voice and those are definitely his hands. Haven’t you seen the other one?”

The vibration, signaling a new text, made her flinch at first but her heart started racing, only to be disappointed that it wasn’t Jungkook - just a coworker sending a meme to the group chat. Yet, she went back to his chat, carefully scanning the messages she had sent to him - they had not been delivered yet. Reminding herself that he sometimes put his phone on airplane mode so nobody would disturb his slumber.

Four hours had passed and she was finally on her break, sitting in the small back room where they kept their personal belongings during shifts.

Her heart sank when she saw that Jungkook still had not replied; it was unlike him to keep her waiting for so long. At this hour, he surely wouldn’t still be asleep, not when he had moaned about having to go to a company meeting today. Even her attempts at calling him were left unanswered; the calls going straight to voicemail.

A whirlwind of panic started to stir up in her stomach; what if he changed his mind and didn’t want to see her anymore? The past few days had been so chaotic and draining that she couldn’t silence the small voice in the back of her mind that kept telling her that it was all too good to be true.

Nails clicking on the screen; she hastily pulled up Taehyung’s chat.

[y/n - 2:12pm]

Tae (: do you know where Jungkookie is? I wanted to ask him about editing a pic for me but he’s not responding to my messages. I’ll see you later <3

“Y/n, Myung-Jun hyung says your lunch is ready! Come eat.” With a sigh, she followed her coworker to the kitchen, sitting down at the small table for the restaurant staff. It was odd that she was so worried about Jungkook not replying, but the uneasy feeling that something wasn’t right anchored itself in her chest.

Halfheartedly she picked at the food in front of her; maybe she was overreacting and Jungkook had just forgotten to turn airplane mode off or he left in a rush, leaving his phone at the dorms. Either way, she had her mind set on checking up on him after her shift.

Jungkook’s bare feet made the floor creek as he entered the living room, the hushed conversations he had faintly been hearing on his way, immediately died down. His brothers looking at him like he was a species from a different planet, not one of them looking happy to see him.

“Sit.” Yoongi gestured towards a chair from the kitchen table that they had put out, just for him apparently - making him feel like he was a police interrogation. “Management will be here any minute now.”

Jungkook gave a small nod, sitting down on the wooden chair. He knew the heating was on but the room seemed to be freezing cold when no warm laughter filled the air and every single one of the member's faces seemed to be laced with concern.

“Can I have my phone back?” His eyes were focused on the electronic device on the coffee table, still not understanding why they took it from him to begin with. He just wanted to see if y/n had texted him; maybe talk to her on the phone for a bit during her break- longing to hear her voice and the sweet coos of his nickname. Not talking to her for almost seven hours, seemed like torture to him now that they were finally able to be together and be happy.

“No, we were told not to give it to you.” Seokjin said calmly, his index finger tapping on the armrest of the sofa in a familiar rhythm.

Letting out a frustrated groan, Jungkook rolled his eyes.

“You know I’m not a kid anymore, you can’t just take my stuff from me like you’re my parents.” His bottom lip jutted out into a small pout; contradicting his previous statement perfectly.

“Oh, it is very apparent that you’re not a kid anymore…” Hoseok scoffed under his breath but before Jungkook could answer, he heard the front door open and manager Sejin’s voice echoed from the hallway.

“Change the code and then join us in the living room.”

Jungkook always admired how tall his favorite manager was but the grim expression on his face made his usual soft eyes, dark and a little scary. “Perfect, you’re all here.”

“Taehyung is in his room. I’ll go get him.” Jimin jumped over the back of the sofa and rushed down the corridor.

“Then we’ll wait.” Sejin sat down next to Namjoon, who had been too wrapped up in his thoughts to pay any attention to the things that were happening around him, only snapping out of his thoughts momentarily to mumble a greeting.

Jimin knocked on the door, only seconds later Ha-na’s muffled voice indicated that it was okay for him to come in. At the sight of his best friend sitting cross-legged on the bed, wiping his cheeks with his sleeve, his heart cramped up painfully.

Ha-na had her arm wrapped around her boyfriend’s shoulders, holding his left hand tightly in her own, whispering softly in his ear.

“Management is here to talk to Jungkookie, Sejin-nim wants you to come, too.” He said quietly, when the younger one looked up with puffy eyes, the tip of his nose red from crying.

“I don’t want to…I just want to stay here…” He was about to lie down and pull the duvet over his body when Ha-na stopped him.

“I’ll come with you and if it gets too much, we can just go back to your room, okay, baby?” She said softly, cupping his face, to dim the flow of tears for a second with her thumbs.

“Ha-na, I’m sorry but you can’t come. It’s just…”

She nodded. “No, I get it. Just the group and management.” Pulling Taehyung to his feet, she grabbed Jimin’s wrist. “Just go with Jimin-ah, he’ll make sure you’re doing alright.”

“Of course I will.” Jimin gently took Taehyung’s much larger hand in his, giving it a tight squeeze.

“But I don’t wanna see him…” The hurt in his voice made Jimin’s eyes tear up. A few hours earlier when he had found out from Hoseok what had happened during the night, he knew that Taehyung would take it the hardest - two of the people he was closest to, had been shamelessly lying to his face for months, completely shattering every ounce of trust he used to have in them.

“You can just look at me the entire time, okay?” Ruffling his hair, he finally managed to pull Tae into the living room, where the air felt suffocatingly thick, making it hard to take deep breaths.

“Hyung,” Jungkook addressed Tae who looked like he had been crying. “Is everything okay? What’s wrong?”

Did something happen to Taehyung? Why had he been crying? Jungkook just didn’t understand what was happening; why was nobody telling him why they all looked so worried?

Finally, Sejin cleared his throat - he was sitting closest to Jungkook, resting his elbows on his knees.

“All of you know why we are here…” He addressed the room, while the other members silently nodded, the youngest vehemently shook his head, making the manager adjust his position to face him.

“I’m not here to tell you what to do, the boss wants to speak to you tomorrow in person about all of this. I’m just here to inform you of the next steps we’re going to take.”

“For goodness sake, what have I done?” He asked, feeling the blood in his veins starting to boil out of frustration of being left in the dark.

“You didn’t tell him?”

“N-no, we thought it would be best if you told him…” Namjoon said quietly, not making eye contact with Jungkook, who so desperately needed comfort and reassuring from his older brother.

The leader’s demeanor worried him, Namjoon was usually the first to speak up about any concerns he had - never afraid to voice what was going on in his head to his members. Now that he was keeping quiet; buried underneath a smothering mountain of thoughts, he wasn’t able to handle the situation like he always did.

“Jungkook-ah..” Sejin pulled out his phone, tapping on the screen a few times before handing it to him. “That is you, correct?”

Jungkook’s body turned to stone, his insides twisted in an abundance of knots, uncertain whether he would ever be able to untie them again. Heart hammering against his ribcage; his vision got blurry as he stared at the phone, watching the video he filmed in that hotel room. His own moans blaring from the tiny speaker, repulsed him, forcing bile up his esophagus.

“Jungkook! Ya!” Hoseok snapped his fingers, trying to get the youngest attention when the next video started playing.

“I-I-… h-how?” He muttered, watching himself go down on y/n.

“We don’t know. We have people trying to take the videos down and find out who put them on the internet.” Sejin took the phone from him.

“Once it’s on the internet, you will never be able to take them all down.” Yoongi shook his head, habitually picking at the skin of this thumb.

“Jungkook what were you thinking taking those videos? You know how important your image is. Why would you risk it all?”

“Looks like he wasn’t doing much thinking at all...all the blood his brain needed to make a rational decision was a little further down south...” It seemed like a lighthearted comment, masked a joke but Jungkook knew that Hoseok indeed wasn’t messing around.

He tried hard to swallow the lump in his throat but it just wouldn’t go down.

“I-It was just supposed to be between me and…” For a second, Taehyung’s eyes met his and he just couldn’t bring himself to say her name out loud.

Now he finally knew why one of his best friends had been crying; he had to find out from strangers on the internet that two of his best friends had been slowly ramming a knife into his back. He watched as Jimin pulled Taehyung to his chest, who looked like he was about to burst into tears again.

“Jungkook…”

His brain was slowing down tremendously, not able to form an articulate sentence that would explain the whole situation.

“So you and y/n thought it would be a good idea to take those videos for what reason?” Sejin folded his arms, eyeing the youngest intently over the rims of his glasses.

“Y/n…” He breathed out her name. “How is she? Is she okay? Has anyone talked to her?” Jumping up from the chair, he frantically looked at the other members who suddenly found their knees oddly interesting. “I have to go. I have to talk to her and make sure, she’s okay.”

“Sit down! You’re not going anywhere! The press is waiting outside, it’s been all over the news this morning!”

“W-what?” He slumped down in the chair, his fingers harshly pulling at his own hair. “I have to check on y/n…”

“I’m sorry, Jungkook but that’s not possible.”

“At least let me text her.” He pleaded, tears brimming in his eyes.

“You can’t do that either. We had a meeting in the morning and we can’t let you see her or talk to her again. This concerns the whole group, we cannot risk any more damage to your image. The fans are freaking out, the press is trying to dig up more dirt while asking the company for a statement regarding the videos. You made a whole mess. What were you thinking?”

Jungkook kept quiet under the drilling eyes of the seven men around him. If they reported about it on the news then he was sure his family had seen it too and were worried about him or worse; they had to carry the burden of being ashamed of their son. But he had to push those feelings on the back burner for now.

“I-I wasn’t… it’s just something we did sometimes when we were together.”

“Wait, what about Yina?” Jin chimed in, looking more confused now that the truth was out in the open.

“I broke up with her a few days ago because I love…love y/n.” Subconsciously his fingers started picking at the little fuzz on his cheek, harder than he had ever done it before. Saying it out loud to the people who had always cared for him so deeply, felt so wrong under these circumstances. He wanted them to know that being with her wasn’t a spur of the moment thing. That he didn’t just break up with Yina because y/n seemed more exciting and new - he truly loved her but he felt like they wouldn’t understand.

“When did this all start?”

He focused his eyes on the floor, his ears were feeling hot and redness crept up his face. He didn’t want to tell them, he didn’t want them to know what he had done without any of them knowing. The last thing he wanted was for them to find out and change the way they looked at him. They always doted on him, making sure he was okay and felt loved from a very young age, and he had betrayed them all; the six boys who raised him. Jungkook didn’t want them to think that they failed because he made poor choices along the way.

“Answer the question.” Taehyung’s voice was cold, sending shivers down his spine.

Trying to buy a little more time; he cleared his throat.

“I don’t know the exact date…but it’s been months” He whispered, guilt numbing his senses - at this moment he knew that everything would change; they wouldn’t take care of him anymore, they wouldn’t make sure he was tucked in and had enough to eat during the day. He wasn’t a baby anymore and certainly not the shy teenager they had all grown to love so much.

Telling them made him feel awful like someone had punched him repeatedly in the stomach.

He couldn’t bear the thought of looking at them; their disappointment erecting itself in front of him like a monster that was about to swallow him whole.

Taehyung stood up, his shaking hands balled into fists.

“You disgust me. You two deserve each other.” Pushing past Yoongi, he tried to leave the room but Jungkook jumped up from his seat - he had to fix things, he couldn’t just let him walk out without at least trying to make amends.

“Hyung, please I’m so sorry. Please forgi-..” He tried reaching for the older one’s arm but he crudely swatted his hand away.

“Do.Not.Touch.Me.” His deep voice was laced with venom, Jungkook’s bottom lip quivered when their eyes met, not being used to the tone that was filled with so much disgust, disappointment and hurt. He could see all the pain and anger Taehyung was feeling from being lied to that he just wanted to beg for forgiveness but it was too late.

“Do I have to listen to this shit or can I go?” He turned to face their manager.

“Ya! Taehyungie, don’t swear.” Hoseok immediately disciplined his younger brother but he was ignored.

“Can I go or not?” Taehyung’s eyes were focused on Sejin, who took a deep breath before nodding. “Thanks.” His footsteps echoed loudly in Jungkook’s ears as he felt a tear roll down his cheek. Quickly he wiped it away with a shaking hand; knowing that he had just lost one of his best friends - there was nothing he could say or do that would repair the damage their friendship had suffered.

“So what happens now?” Jimin asked quietly, chewing on the inside of his cheek nervously, the future of the group uncertain.

“Not sure yet.” Sejin furrowed his brows. “We can’t just ignore it and hope for it to go away. We’ll have to wait and see what is being decided on before we make any rushed decisions. But for now, you’ll all have to lay low, especially you.” He looked at the youngest, who looked pitiful in his spot on the chair. “And that means that you will have to cut all ties with y/n.”

Jungkook shook his head; he wasn’t going to leave her, not after everything they had been through together. Not after fighting his inner demons for months to finally be with her, to only have it all taken away from him way too soon.

“Kook, don’t be stubborn! That’s what is best for the group. Do you want all of them to suffer just because you’re being selfish and want to be with a girl? There’s plenty of girls out there, you’ll find another girlfriend in the future.”

He kept quiet, he didn’t have it in him to argue because they wouldn’t understand that he didn’t want anyone else, he wanted her.

“So for now, all codes have been changed and I’m asking all of you to change passwords on your devices as well, just as a precaution. Don’t give out your numbers, we will be changing those as well over the next few days. Security will be increased and we will always have one of the managers here until this all blows over. I know, this is inconvenient but we have to get in control of the situation.” After addressing all of them, he turned to Jungkook again. “I’ll be picking you up at 9 tomorrow morning, the boss will be back from his business trip then.”

“Fine. Can I go to my room now?” Jungkook sounded poutier than he had intended but maybe he could message y/n over on her Instagram to check on her.

“No, but what you can do, is get your laptop so you can change all your passwords. I’m sorry but one of us will have to monitor you, Jungkook.”

He sighed in defeat, slowly dragging his feet towards his room.

Last night had been perfect, they won awards and talking to y/n for hours had been the best ending to the night; he just couldn’t believe that all the good things that finally started happening again, were now overshadowed by someone leaking those videos. He had cherished those videos, they were dear to his heart because it reminded him of one of the reasons why he loved her so much - he never knew what she would do next, it was exciting to be in love with her and he was missing her now more than ever before.

Carrying two bags of food and bottles of soju was more strenuous than she had expected. For a brief moment, she sat them both down to wipe her forehead with the back of her hand before readjusting her mask - the pollution had gotten worse during the day.

As she made her way around the corner, the street was filled with cars and reporters with their mics and cameras ready. Some were trying to talk to one of the security guards which there were many, more than usual.

“Ah, y/n.” The security guard she hadn’t seen since she came here drunk that one night greeted her happily “Bringing over some food, I see.” He closed his eyes, trying to sniff out what she was carrying in the bags.

“Yeah, I just finished work.” She bowed her head.

“I’m sure, they’ll appreciate it. They weren’t able to leave all day with the press blocking the way.”

“I can see that…” She trailed off, letting her eyes wander over the crowd. “Am I allowed to go in?”

“Sure, I haven’t heard otherwise.” She signed her name, as usual, and with a slight bow she continued her journey, walking up the hill to the building.

The increased amount of security made her feel uneasy, feeling like she was being watched every step of the way.

“What do you want?” A man in a suit spat at her before she could even open the door.

“I-I’m just dropping off food for my friends…” Her voice was shaking, making the security guy eye her suspiciously as if she was hiding a weapon in one of the bags.

“And your ‘friends’ know you’re coming?” He raised an eyebrow; she had a feeling that he was about to tackle her to the ground when the regular security guard from the lobby appeared by his side.

“It’s okay, I know her. She’s allowed to come in.”

“Thank you.” She whispered, keeping her head low as she walked past the grim-looking man.

“Crazy day today.” He mused, laying out two lists for her to sign.

“Why two lists?”

“One is for us and one is for them…” He nodded in the direction of the men in suits. “I also have to make a copy of your ID for them. They want to keep track of who is entering the building.”

“That’s fine.” She smiled awkwardly when handing him her card. All those men looking at her like she had done something wrong, made her feel on edge. One of them even followed her into the elevator, not letting her out of his sight until he confirmed with the security on the designated floor that she was allowed to be up here.

She tried entering the code but the all too familiar click of the lock didn’t happen.

Setting the bags down, she tried again. “6-8-1-4-2-7.” She muttered to remind herself of the combination but the small blinking red light told her it wasn’t right.

“Why isn’t it working?” Angrily she stomped her foot in annoyance before knocking on the door impatiently.

A set of footsteps indicated that someone was coming from the other side; she bent down to pick up the bags as the door swung open.

“Finally, did you change the code? I tried to…oh.” She looked up, being faced with the stern look of one of the managers. Hastily she bowed as low as she could without dropping anything. “I’m sorry, hello.”

But he didn’t reply, still just looking at her as if he tried to remember if he had seen her before.

“You need to leave.” His voice was strict, only fueling her confusion.

“But I just got here…”

“Doesn’t matter. You have to go and you cannot come back here.”

“I don’t understand, what’s going on? Why am I not allowed to see my friends?”

“Do yourself a favor and just go. Don’t cause a scene. Please, leave.”

Jungkook was lazily scrolling through his emails when suddenly one caught his eye.

“I got an email that someone logged into my iCloud.” He mumbled, making Hoseok and Jimin look up from their phones.

“Didn't you get the notification on your phone?”

“No…but my phone did ask me to log in again, oddly enough.”

“Hm technology is weird like that sometimes.” Hobi mumbled. “But it’s still kind of odd and you should definitely let someone know so they can look into it.”

"It was on the day I broke up with…” His eyes scanned the mail. “But the login happened hours before.”

“Do you think it was Yina?” Jimin’s eyes were wide in shock. “But how could she have known before you talked to her?”

Jungkook’s teeth dug deep into the soft flesh of his lip - Jimin’s words had struck a nerve.

He had wondered before how she had known where she would find him and y/n. How did she find out? He didn’t make the first move, she had already been there when he came back to the room.

“It says it was in Gangnam…not far away then.” Fingers kneading his chin, nails puncturing his skin, he tried to recall everything that had happened that day.

He had talked to Ha-na and Jimin after practice, remembering how worried y/n had been before they arranged to meet. He had met Yina in the hallway further away from the practice room, near his studio but there was nothing that would have given him away, there had been no sign that she was upset when he saw her that day.

“I don’t think it was her; I know her, she wouldn’t do something like that.”

“You can’t be sure about that, Jungkook. She was hurt and maybe that was her way of seeking revenge after you broke her heart.”

He swallowed hard at Hoseok’s words; as much as he wanted to believe that Yina wouldn’t do this, his brother was right. He brutally ripped out her heart and smashed it into a million pieces. It would only be fair for her to do something equally as bad to him and make him suffer.

He was wishing that there was a way he could get in contact with her, but he was sure that she wouldn’t want to speak to him anyway, not after everything he had put her through.

“Let the managers know, they can look into it.”

He nodded when a sudden knock on the door caught his attention.

“I’ll get it.” Their manager left the kitchen, where he was making a grocery list for a company employee to stuck up the supplies.

“We should order some food, I’m starving.” Jimin groaned, stretching out his arms before rubbing his tummy with a tortured expression on his face. “What do you want to eat? We’ll let you pick Kookie since your day is pretty shit.”

The black-haired boy scoffed. “Thanks but I don’t really feel like eating…”

“Jungkook-ah you need to eat.”

“But I’m not-…” He went quiet, the familiar voice of y/n faintly reaching his ears. “Am I dreaming?” He whispered but his brothers both shook their heads, not moving an inch to avoid making any noise.

“I don’t understand, what’s going on?” Instantly his eyes filled with tears, his heart cracked; she sounded so lost and confused. Too weak to fight the urge, he slowly got up from the couch, fully prepared to Naruto-run past his manager to finally hold her in his arms again. Everything would be so much easier to handle if she was around; they would just go through it together like they always did. Nothing could come between them, not his boss or managers, not his hyungs or even the fans; they were destined to be together and he was willing to fight anyone who tried to keep him away from her.

“What are you doing?”

“I have to see her…”

“Jk! No!” Hobi grabbed his wrist, pulling him back down.

“Please, please, please!” He begged his older brother, trying to persuade him to let him go but he just wouldn’t let go of his wrist, the pressure making his skin tingle.

Hoseok looked at the maknae squirming, trying to wrench his arm from his grasp - his big doe eyes were swimming in tears again, lips quivering trying to hold back from throwing a tantrum.

His heart hurt for his little brother, as much as he condemned his actions and the mess he got them into, he could tell how badly he needed her and deeply in love he was - Jungkook never begged for anything and him begging to see her was all that he needed to ever so lightly loosen the hold he had on his wrist.

“You heard her, hyung! She doesn’t even know what’s happening. I just want to see her, please let me go see her so I can explain it to her. She needs to hear it from me. Please…” Jungkook’s weak voice gave out when he looked up, Taehyung was standing in the doorway, tears streaming down his cheeks at the desperate pleading of his best friend outside the apartment and the manager’s strict orders for her to leave.

“Taehyung-ah.” Jimin leaned over the back of the couch to take his hand, wanting his best friend to know that he wasn’t alone and could seek comfort with him whenever he needed to but before he accomplished his mission, the younger boy had run back down the corridor, slamming the door to his room shut. seeking the comforting arms of his girlfriend.

Only seconds later, Sejin walked into the living room holding two big bags in each hand.

“Here’s some food, can’t let you starve while you’re basically locked in here.” He patted Jungkook’s shoulder, whose face showed no emotion, in order to prevent the breakdown he felt building up inside his chest. Blinking the tears away, his pupils dilated as they scanned the bags on the table. “Y/n brought food over…”

“What?” Hoseok asked, who was already busy pulling all the takeout boxes out to place them neatly on the table for the members to grab.

“Nothing, hyung.” He stood up but didn’t move, eyes still resting on the logo on the bag.

“Funny, it’s all your favorite foods, Jungkookie.” The older boy mused as he inspected the contents of yet another container.

“Yeah, funny. I’ll go get the others.” But he didn’t, instead, he made his way to small bathroom, tightly locking the door behind him. Sitting down on the floor, he pulled his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them.

He didn’t want to cry but the tears kept prodding at the corners of his eyes; her voice still echoing in his mind. She didn’t know what happened, and no one cared enough to tell her; they just cut her off and forced him to do the same. Jungkook didn’t care much about his image at this point, he didn’t care that people had watched those videos - they all had made up their mind about him anyway. All he wanted now was to protect her, to make sure she was okay.

“I’ll have to find a way to talk to her…” He mumbled, resting his forehead against his knees while his fingers traced the engraved silver plate on his wrist. He wouldn’t give up so easily, even if it got him into more trouble.

“Take more, there’s plenty left. Tae needs to eat.” Jimin placed another box on top of the two Ha-na was already holding.

“No, no! I’ll come to get more if we’re still hungry.” She gave the boys a weak smile before heading back to her boyfriend’s room. He refused to leave it, not wanting to see Jungkook sitting amongst the others like a sad little puppy after committing the ultimate betrayal.

Ha-na closed the door with her foot, eyeing her boyfriend as he laid on the bed, hugging his body pillow extra tight, face buried in the tear-stained fabric.

“Tae, I have some food.” She set the boxes down on the small table while he slowly moved into an upright position to inspect the boxes.

“I don’t want it.” He said, lying back down instantly and turning his back towards her. Earlier this morning, he had been a lot more vocal about his pain, giving it a lot more room to breathe. But now he was in a phase where he’d cry and then start mumbling angrily, sometimes boxing the mattress. She pulled the chopsticks from her pocket, taking a seat next to him.

“And why not?”

“Read the fucking label on the box.”

“Choi Go Zip and what is that supposed to tell me?” Ha-na tilted her head in confusion, pushing her bangs from her eyes with the back of her hand. “Somebody from the staff went and got food for all of us. Tae, baby - I know you’re hurting right now but we’re all trying our best in this situation.”

He turned to lay on his back, a scowl playing on his lips. “It’s where y/n works, no staff member went to get the food for us.”

“How do you know?”

“She was here, I heard her talking to Sejin when I went to get water.”

“What?!” Her voice was high pitched, making her boyfriend flinch. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does. Did you talk to her?” Taehyung shook his head, crossing his arms over his face.

“No, I didn’t.” He tried hard to sound cold, pretending like he didn’t care but his trembling lips were giving him away.

“Why not?”

“I-I couldn’t stand the thought of looking at her.”

“Oh Tae.” Ha-na laid down next to him, wrapping her arm tightly around his waist. “I know she fucked up, but she is still your best friend. You can’t just leave her hanging like this, baby.”

He shook his head, more tears rolling down his cheeks. “What she did…it’s not what friends do. As far as I’m concerned, she’s not my friend anymore.”

Pulling herself up a little, she pressed soft kisses to his cheeks. “I know, you don’t really mean that.”

“She lied to me, Ha-na” He blubbered, turning his body around in her embrace to bury his face against her chest. “They both did. For months.”

Her fingers gently played with his hair, trying to calm him down, his whole body shaking from the overwhelming amount of emotions that were rushing through him.

“Tae, I told you weeks ago that there was something between them..” She paused, trying to choose her next words very carefully. “Baby your heart is too big for your own good, you always want to believe that people are good, especially your friends. You’re the opposite of the grinch, you feel too much.”

He chuckled against her skin, the vibrations of his deep voice giving her goosebumps.

“You know there will come a time when you’ll need your best friend, nobody can replace her. You have been friends since you were little kids, so please baby, take all the time you need to heal but don’t write her off just yet.”

He didn’t say anything, only inhaling shakingly. She knew he was being stubborn out of anger; being lied to by the people you trust is heartbreaking but he needed time, time to process and sort through his feelings - eventually he would come around, he loved y/n too much to just drop the friend who had stuck by his side for so many years. But then again, she wasn’t going to force him to talk to her if he didn’t feel ready to face her, he would know when the time was right to take a step towards mending the broken friendship.

“How am I supposed to ever trust them again?” He croaked; her arms around him tightening, afraid she might crush him.

“Baby I don’t know and you won’t know until you decide you’re ready to speak to them.”

Ha-na opened her eyes, taking a few seconds to realize that she had fallen asleep trying to comfort her boyfriend, who was now sleeping soundly snuggled up against her side. Irritated by the repeated buzzing noise coming from the nightstand, she blindly reached for the phone - it was Taehyung’s. She pressed the home button, a picture of herself staring back at her that he had taken by the river a few weeks ago.

y/n - 8 missed calls

y/n - 13 messages Maybe it was wrong and maybe he would be mad at her for doing this but she quickly entered his passcode to unlock the phone and check the unread messages.

[y/n - 7:05pm] Tae, what’s going on? Why did your manager sent me away and told me to not come to the dorms anymore? Can you please tell me? Because I don’t understand. 7:45pm Why aren’t you answering me? Are you mad at me? If I did something, can you please tell me?

9:27pm Taehyung? Please talk to me? Ha-na had read enough, feeling bad for the girl she had harbored a lot of bad feelings towards the past weeks when the phone vibrated in her hand again.

Now you’re leaving me on read? What have I done?

She put down Tae’s phone and picked up her own from the side of the bed. She was aware that Taehyung would feel betrayed when he found out what she was about to do but she just wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she kept quiet - leaving y/n in the dark like the rest of them.

[Ha-na - 10:38pm] Y/n, it was me! I read your texts. Can you meet me at Jamwon Hangang Park? At the spot where we took you on your first weekend in Seoul. I’ll explain everything to you.

Carefully she climbed out of bed, making sure Tae was tucked in and hugging his pillow, hoping he wouldn’t wake up while she was gone.

On her way out she passed by Jungkook’s room, through the closed door she could hear a sad song playing, every once in awhile sobs reached her ears. Her heart wrenched in pain; the little one was suffering from the consequences just as much as everyone else. Sometimes Jungkook could be a little naive but he had a good heart and a good head on his shoulders; despite his previous actions. With a sigh, she left the apartment and was greeted with the fluorescent lights in the hallway and a bunch of security guards.

“Where are you going?” One of them inquired.

“Not that it is any of your business but I couldn’t sleep so I’m taking a walk.” To Ha-na’s surprise, he nodded, marking her as absent on a list.

“Be safe, Miss.” He bowed his head, making space for her to get to the elevator.

It was odd to be surrounded by so many people that were just making sure no fans or press would get inside the building; normally the community was a safe place, people couldn’t just get in but BigHit didn’t seem to believe that people weren’t going to try to get in at any cost, whether it was bribing guards or climbing over fences.

Quickly she walked up the stairs that would lead her onto the second level and to the exit closest to her destination.

Ha-na got to the park earlier than expected, for a while she sat on one of the yellow stones by the water, the cool air comfortably expanding in her lungs and clearing her head after being cooped up in Taehyung’s room all day.

This morning when she woke up, she had not expected the day to completely turn upside down the way it did. And although she had taken care of Taehyung all day, she couldn’t possibly fantom how any of the boys were feeling.

Sure, it was hard to see her boyfriend so upset, but not knowing how the whole situation would turn out for them was emotionally draining and nerve-wracking. A feeling of helplessness stirred up inside of her; she really wanted to do something to help but every single idea that popped into her head seemed silly when she gave it a second thought.

Occasionally during the day, she had checked social media just to see what people were saying, and it wasn’t good. She just wanted all of them to stay off the internet while this was going down; the mean and degrading comments towards Jungkook would hurt all of them - he was still their little brother who they loved and adored.

Something told her that she wasn’t the only one thinking that it might have been Yina, who somehow got a hold of these videos and published them to make Jungkook pay for cheating on her for months on end. There was no denying that it sounded reasonable but Ha-na had a gut feeling that this wasn’t the case - Yina once had been someone she would spend time with, especially when the boys were away, and the girl never struck her as someone with malicious intentions; her love for Jungkook was pure - she had not been in it to gain something from him or the people he knew. She pulled her phone from her pocket - she just had to try, maybe this was the one thing she could do to help.

[Ha-na - 11:16pm]

Yina, I hope you’re doing okay, giving the circumstances! I’m sure, you’ve seen what’s happening. I just wanted to ask if you had anything to do with this? I won’t tell anyone, I just need to know.

She puffed up her cheeks; she probably wouldn’t get an answer but she just had to stay positive. No matter what Jungkook had done to her, she knew that deep down Yina was a good person, who might have just acted on an impulse out of anger.

Slowly Ha-na got up, letting her eyes wander up and down the little winding pathway for bikes before crossing it to sit on the bench where she and Tae had taken y/n on her first weekend in Seoul to eat chicken and drink beer while watching the lights of Banpo Bridge. Why did everything have to change? A few months ago things were perfect, everyone was so happy and now careers were ruined and relationships were breaking apart, trust was lost and too many tears were being shed.

It was dark and cold; the wind blowing in her face made her eyes tear up but she had to keep running. Her footsteps echoed loudly on the pavement, as she finally reached the part of the park where the poppy’s bloomed in spring.

“Not far…” Stopping for a few seconds, she rested her hands on her knees, panting heavily. “Just keep going…” Sharply sucking in a breath, she sprinted the rest of the way, where she spotted Ha-na sitting on a bench near the riverbank, lost in thought.

“Sorry, I had to sneak out, my brother was still awake.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Ha-na’s smile was weak, in the darkness the worry that was painted all over her face, made her look incredibly tired. “Come sit.” She patted down on the spot next to her.

“Ha-na…” Almost eerily her name left her mouth, facing her best friend’s girlfriend. “What’s going on? I’m so confused…yesterday everything was fine and now, nobody is talking to me anymore.”

“You really don’t know, huh?”

“Know what?”

“Haven’t you watched the news or were you online at all today?”

She shook her head. “No, I was at work and when I got home, I had to make dinner for my brother and I was kind of preoccupied with being worried about why Jungkook isn’t speaking to me.”

“Y/n…” Ha-na took the inside of her cheek in-between her teeth, letting her eyes wander over the black water of Han River, taking a little while to decide on how to say what she had to tell her. “Someone, we don’t know who… leaked videos of you and Jungkook…”

“What? What videos? Did someone follow us?” Her heart crashed from her chest down into her stomach, chortling awkwardly in the abyss.

“No, the videos you two filmed having sex…”

All the color disappeared from her face; the contents of her stomach wanting to force its way out of her mouth. “No..no…this can't be happening.” Her nails dug into her scalp.

“Y/n, I’m sorry but that’s why Jungkook isn’t talking to you.” Carefully she rested her hand on the other girl’s thigh. “They confiscated his phone and he’s not allowed to contact you. They want to avoid the press finding out more or worse seeing you together.”

“Is he okay?”

“He’s very upset that he can’t see you..” She trailed off, keeping her eyes on the girl next to her, who went silent as tears dripped down her cheeks.

Wrapping her arms loosely around herself, she just stared at her knees wishing that the tears would stop but they didn’t.

“Ha-na, I-I don't know how all of this started…Taehyung introduced me and I was just…head over heels from the start. It was like I didn’t have to search anymore…I found my soulmate…”

Ha-na tilted her head, brows furrowing together; Jungkook had used similar words before to describe how he felt when he saw her. Maybe there was a chance that they both instantly felt a deep connection that couldn’t be explained.

“I really tried to stay away from him, I swear. I didn’t want to get between him and his girlfriend and I know I should have waited until he broke up with her but I was so in love that I just stopped caring about what’s right. I just wanted to be with him and that was all that mattered to me. He promised me so many times that he would break up with her and although he never kept any of them, I still believed him because I just love him so much, more than I’ve ever loved anyone. I didn’t care that it hurt me as long as I had him. I can’t even tell you why we filmed those videos, I know it was stupid but it was all we had when we couldn’t be together and I was the one who initiated it. So it’s all my fault that he is in trouble.” Her hand balled into a fist, before repeatedly hitting against her forehead. “I’m so stupid, I should have known better… stupid, stupid, stupid.” She whined over and over with each word increasing the force of her hand.

“Hey, y/n. Stop that.” Ha-na pulled on her arm, trying to prevent her from hurting herself. “We all know what you two did was wrong but people do stupid things all the time. We can’t turn back time, the damage is done- all we can do now is try to fix th-”

“Tae knows, doesn’t he? That’s why he’s not talking to me.” She blurted out, interrupting Ha-na mid-sentence like she didn’t even listen to any of the words that left her mouth. “I know I was doing something really bad when I had to start lying to my best friend. Oh god.”

“Yes, he knows now and he is really hurt and angry with you, not just with you, with Jungkook too.” She explained, her fingers lacing with y/n’s. “But I’m sure, he will forgive you. You know Tae, he can be stubborn when he gets into his head too much but he always comes around.”

For a little while Ha-na just let her cry, she now had to process what everyone else had tried to do all day.

“Ha-na…” She hiccuped, wiping her cheeks with the sleeve of her jacket. “Do you think I can talk to the company and tell them that I will take all the blame? I’ll tell them that I took one of the videos without him knowing and made him take the second one. I’ll just lie and say I lost my phone and the person who found it, did that to us. I don’t want Jungkook to be upset. It’s all my fault.”

“He would never let you do that, y/n.”

“I know but if you don’t tell him, I can just do it in the morning. I’ll go there right now and wait for someone to show up.”

“And what good would that do, hm?” Ha-na chuckled at the ridiculousness of her words, waiting for an answer but she came up short. “The company is taking care of it. They have people trying to find who did this. You can’t take the fall for it when both of you are responsible.”

“But he worked so hard and I’ve ruined it all.”

Ha-na turned around, grabbing harshly onto her shoulders to force y/n to look at her. “You haven’t ruined it all, stop saying that. If he didn’t want to film those videos, he wouldn’t have done it. Jungkook is not a baby, he knew what you guys were doing was reckless and so unbelievably stupid. Let the company deal with it, in a week nobody will be talking about it; another scandal will pop up and people will forget that Jungkook is a normal human being who has a sex-life. It’s not the end of the world, it will all be fine.” Ha-na heard the words leaving her mouth, but it felt like someone else was saying them. Everything inside her was screaming that it wouldn’t be so easy; that it wouldn’t be forgotten in a week but her heart couldn’t handle seeing the girl in front of her falling apart and wanting to make irrational decisions to protect the boy she loved.

Ha-na checked her phone; it was almost 2 in the morning - tomorrow would be another long day. She stood, facing y/n where their ways would part for the night.

“Promise me, you’ll stay off the internet for a while and take care of yourself.”

Y/n gave her a weak smile. “I promise and you’ll text me if anything happens.”

“Of course, I’ll tell you all about Kookie’s day.” She winked, hugging her extra tight.

“Tell him that I love him, okay?”

“I will.” Watching as she walked away, Ha-na couldn’t shake the bad feeling that was trying gnaw its way into her mind. Y/n was smiling through the pain, trying to be strong because breaking down wasn’t going to make the situation any easier.

Ha-na reached the dorm a little later, after enduring endless security procedures before she could finally get back into bed. Some of the reporters were still prowling the streets around the fenced-in community, hoping they would find any more dirt on the matter.

Slipping off her shoes in the entryway, she quietly tiptoed through the apartment.

“Is he still awake?” She muttered under her breath when she stopped in front of Jungkook’s room, the crack from underneath the door indicating that the lights were still on as well as the music but the sobs had subsided. Quietly she opened the door to find the youngest sleeping on his bed.

“Wasting all this energy.” Shaking her head, she switched off the ceiling light, before turning off the Bluetooth speaker on his nightstand; deciding she’d leave on the fairy lights above the headboard.

Jungkook’s face was puffy from crying himself to sleep, the pillowcase still stained with tears, making her heart feel heavy. She had just wanted for him to do the right thing and now that he had finally done it, karma was lashing out at him - taking away the things he loved. He talked about soulmates and so did y/n, but Ha-na was a strong believer in people getting what they deserved yet she wasn’t sure if karma wasn’t being too harsh on the young boy with the big doe eyes.

She pulled the duvet over his sleeping form, gently stroking his hair as his lashes fluttered at her touch.

“Get some rest, little one.” She whispered, his lips parting in an o-shape as he sighed contently. “Everything will be okay, y/n still loves you.”

Yoongi and the others were sitting at the kitchen table, talking and drinking wine to forget how bad their day had been. The maknae had disappeared into his room after talking to their boss in the morning, wanting to be alone - sending away anyone who tried to comfort him.

“I will never understand, why they thought it was a good idea to film themselves having sex…” Hoseok took a big gulp from his glass. “I thought we taught Jungkookie better than this.”

The leader sighed, rubbing his temples with his fingertips. “They were kissing fire and now we all got burned.”

“What do you mean, hyung?” Jimin asked while pouring more wine for his older brothers.

“I mean, they knew what they were doing was dangerous, -maybe that’s why it was so enticing to them but neither of them stopped to think about the consequences and now we all have to pay. Whether it’s Taehyung being incredibly hurt by his friends lying to him or our image forever being tarnished because of those videos. We all will have to deal with the consequences of someone leaking it. From now on, we will have to be extra careful to ensure our privacy.”

“Who do you think leaked the video?” Jimin was looking at all of them curiously.

“Yina, obviously.” The oldest replied. “Jungkook was cheating on her for months.”

Hoseok nodded. “Yeah, getting cheated on is the worst. I wouldn’t even be mad at her if she did it. If I were in her shoes, I would’ve done the same.”

“All of you should be ashamed! Gossiping like teenage girls.” Ha-na scoffed suddenly, standing in the doorway to the kitchen.

“And you should be ashamed because eavesdropping isn’t nice.”

“I wasn’t but it’s good to know that you think it was Yina when it wasn’t her.”

“How would you know?” Jin had a sour expression on his face.

“Because apparently, I’m the only one who thought of asking her.”

“You talked to Yina?” Jimin stood up so suddenly that his chair tipped over, forcing Yoongi to catch it before it hit the floor.

“I did and it wasn’t her.”

“And you really believe her?”

Yoongi waved his hand, silently telling Jimin to be quiet so Ha-na could speak.

“Yes, she told me she logged into Jungkook’s iCloud to get the proof she needed that he was cheating on her but she did not save the videos nor did she post them online. She said she was too humiliated; she didn’t want anyone to know that her boyfriend cheated on her.”

“Makes sense…”

Ha-na shrugged, grabbing a water bottle from the fridge. “We all have brains, sometimes it’s good to use it so it doesn’t get rusty.” Sticking her tongue out, she nudged Jin’s shoulder on her way back.

It was getting late and Yoongi was loading up the dishwasher before heading to bed himself.

“I’ll never volunteer to do this again.” He quickly wiped a few water stains off the counter before throwing the kitchen towel next to the sink in defeat.

He let his gaze wander around the room before switching the light off, the cold floor making him shiver and wanting to get into his warm, comfy bed as soon as possible when he suddenly heard a knock on the door.

“It’s almost midnight, who….” Yoongi trailed off, waddling to check who had managed to get past security at this hour.

Suspiciously, he opened the door just a bit to see y/n standing there, her shoulders hanging low, eyes swimming in an ocean of tears.

“Y/n, you know I cannot let you in, I’m so sorry.” Saying those words made him feel awful, her lips quivering dangerously.

“Can I at least speak to Taehyung?”

“He doesn’t want to see you right now…” His voice was straining as he denied the girl any form of communication with the two people she needed the most right now.

“Can I see Jungkook? Please, Yoongi, just for a minute…” He wasn’t sure if his tired eyes were playing tricks on him but he swore he saw tears falling from her eyes and hitting the marble tiles.

“I-he will get into trouble if management finds out…”

“You’re right, I don’t want to cause any more trouble for him than I already have.” She let out a choked sob, turning around to leave and Yoongi knew that he was about to do something stupid.

Seeing her being just as shaken up as his little brother was too much for him. He had doubted their love; he didn’t believe in soulmates - he did not think this relationship had a real future after hearing bits and pieces from Jimin. But his heart broke for the girl who so desperately wanted to see the boy she loved that she found a way past security in the middle of the night just to see him.

“Y/n, wait…” He said, stepping away from the door. “Go see him. I don’t know you’re here and I did not open the door for you.”

“Thank you.” She bowed, closing the door behind her.

Yoongi watched her walk up to Jungkook’s room, knocking a few times before he finally opened the door. His eyes grew wide and a gasp escaped his mouth when he realized that it was her and not one of his members bothering him again. Almost instantly he reached for her arm, pulling her into his room; a smile tugged at Yoongi’s lips. Maybe had done the right thing after all.

Jungkook slammed the door shut, his arms tightly wrapping around her- making sure she couldn’t just walk out, not when he needed to hold her so badly. It still felt like he was dreaming, he had lost count of how many times he had imagined seeing her in the last 48 hours. She nestled her face into his soft sweatshirt, inhaling his scent that always seemed to calm her fluttering heart.

After what felt like an eternity, he pulled away only to cup her face. Peppering soft kisses all over her cheeks to erase the tears that felt like acid against his swollen lips.

“I miss you so much, baby.” He mumbled, his lips ghosting over hers, reuniting them in an innocent kiss.

“I miss you too. Not being able to talk to you is the worst.” Her fingers helplessly dug into the soft fabric covering his chest.

“I know…” Rubbing calming circles on her back - he didn’t want to spend the short amount of time they had crying but as much as he tried to hold it together, he couldn’t and neither did she. Uncontrollably the tears kept falling, mixing with sniffles and shallow breaths in between kisses.

“I’m sorry, it’s all my fault this is happening.”

“Noona, no! You know that’s not true.”

“Yes, it is. If I didn’t…” She wept, looking up at him with so much hurt in her eyes that he felt his heart split in two. “It’s my fault…I made you take those videos..” She buried her face against his chest; Jungkook could feel each sob in his bones.

“No one is blaming you! We’re in this together, baby, okay?” His arms locked around her torso as he pressed kisses on top of her head. He was clueless, he didn't know what to say to make her feel better when it all weighed heavy on his mind, preoccupying his every thought and draining every ounce of positivity from his body. There was no magical solution; Sejin had told him to just stick it out for now until people got bored but seeing her cry made it so much more difficult. He just wanted to do something; something that would make all the pain, all the headlines and tears go away so they could be together but there was nothing he could do, other than to hold her, to let her know he would never let her go - not even in the darkest of times.

Suddenly, she pulled away to bring some distance between them. Avoiding his gaze, she focused on the fairy lights, her vision getting blurry. Ha-na had told her not to do anything stupid but she couldn’t help but think that maybe she was the cause of all of this. If she wasn’t in his life then he wouldn’t have to endure the mean comments being made; he would be happy and doing the things he loved without being worried and locked inside this apartment.

She was ruining his career and everything he had worked for - if she wasn’t around things could go back to normal for him. She would be happy to see him happy, even if it was without her around.

“Kookie…” His name fell almost inaudible from her lips. “Everything will be okay, right? Promise me you won’t let those people get to you.”

Jungkook was taken aback, he didn’t quite know what she meant - his brain operating slowly from the lack of sleep and constantly working in overdrive.

“Promise.” He attempted a weak smile to ease her worries but before he could say anything she turned around.

“I should get going before someone finds out I was here…”

“No, please don’t go. Just stay the night.”

“You know that’s not possible.”

Slowly he followed her to the front door, where she finally looked at him with tears in her eyes. He wanted to reach out to hug and kiss her, not knowing when he would see her again but something stopped him.

Her heart was wrenching in pain when she bowed to him. “Be well, Kookie! I hope you have a good life.” Carefully her hand slid into the pocket of her jacket, trembling fingers wrapping around the white gold bangle.

“What?” He asked, panic making his pupils dilate. He didn’t understand - just moments ago she had told him that she missed him. What was happening? He wanted to stand in her way, stop her from leaving but he couldn’t move, his body had turned into stone. Unable to get any part of him to move, he just stood there like a statue even as she reached for his hand, placing the bracelet he had given to her on it.

“Give this to someone who deserves it more than me.” His insides were screaming, nerves desperately tingling to set his legs in motion but it was too late - the door opened and closed. She was gone. His heart silently breaking in his chest; hot streams of tears cascading down his cheeks in disbelief. Where did this short visit go wrong or had it been her plan all along to come to see him and end their relationship when it had just begun?

In trance, he walked through the pitch-black apartment and without knocking into the room where he knew he was still loved. Jimin was lying on his back, furiously hitting the buttons on his Nintendo Switch when Jungkook laid down beside him, burying his face in his older brother's side. “What’s wrong?” “S-she broke up...” He couldn’t bring himself to say it because if he did then there was no going back - he would have lost his soulmate forever.

Taking deep breaths, she hurried past the two security guards and into the stairwell. Cowering down in a corner, she covered her mouth to silence the sobs that were shaking her entire body. He would be better off without her; all those girls were right she was ruining his life and she wasn’t going to let that happen - after all; if you love someone you should set them free if you’re holding them back.

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