#does his lonliness keep him awake at night

[rinaforeverinlove]

heyaa first post, anyways

have you ever wondered what song you would die to if you could?

like what if youre walking through a street and all of a sudden die? and theres a reallyyy shitty song playing or just something that just does not fit the vibe at all at all?

if i could die to any song, it would be jeff buckleys "lover, you should've come over".

i dont think theres much to say about that. its the perfect song.

romantic? yes

tragic? yes

depressing? yes

what else do you need?

i remember sitting in the back of my fathers car, driving the long 3 hour drive to my mothers house after a long weekend of fun with him. i remember so vividly, him playing the "grace" album. i didnt take much notice of it at first given i wasnt and still am not a big fan of "mojo pin" or even "grace" and i think i may have fallen asleep by the time "last goodbye" came on(shhh i was like 5 and it was about 10 pm at night in a warm cozy car).

i remember feeling jeff buckleys vocals, not even hearing them but feeling them. i thought i was going to explode. the amount of peace and serenity that entered my brain at once was strange and unknown to me. though i was only 5 or so, every word he sang, stuck. whatever was going through my head, i cried, right from "lilac wine" to "lover you shouldve come over". not in a whiney, loud and disruptive way, but i sat in the back seat of my fathers blue mitsubishi and cried, silently, with my head pressed up against the cool car window.

jeff buckleys vocals on "lilac wine" drawed me in like a lullaby, made me tired but i knew i couldnt sleep, i had to keep on listening. the slowness and captivity of it hurt me in ways of the unknown, and why? to this day i still do not know.

"lilac wine, i feel unsteady, like my love"

for a long long time "so real" was my favourite song of all time from that album. it scared me, but it attracted me too. i wanted more, if that makes any sense. i wanted to do more than just hear it, i wanted it to dance with me and spin me around, i wanted someone to plait it into my soul like a french braid. it was so real. and hurtful and painful and so so real.

"and i couldnt awake from the nightmare, that sucked me in and pulled me under, pulled me under"

i knew "hallelujah" before as my mother was a massive leonard cohen fan. i already knew it was beautiful. but whereas leaonard cohens original version is masculine(due to his deep voice) and is more like a story. jeff buckleys cover is angelic, soft and mesmerising. i am not religious but this man sounds like hes singing gods words, like hes written them. the passion and the unreal emotion evoking beauty of his voice makes it unsurprising that most people know this version more than the original one.

"and from her lips she drew the hallelujah"

last but not least. "lover you shouldve come over". the eeriness of the beginning opening with the accordian playing solo, like an echo of an old tune. buckley opens the song with the image of a funeral. already morbid, but descriptive. i think this song should only be listened to in the rain, theres no other way. the lonliness this skng evokes. like a disconnection from the entire world but a deep understanding of it. the song itself, its not a song, not a person, like a lost soul, bound to this world forced to be alone, hidden away so no one can see it, but on display to witness everything. the desperation of the soul is exposed throughout the song, speaking of "her" who in my opinion represents love. the soul yearns for it, constantly grasping for it but missing each time, and cannot see a reason to keep going without "her", this song is like the last words of this soul, its last lament, or manifesto. though the soul is giving up, he still believes if she sees this theres still a chance. this song is a cry for help.

"too young to hold on, and too old to just break free and run"

when "lover, you shouldve come over" finishes in my dads car, we sat in silence. my father softly apologises and plays the song once more.

in conclusion, that is my song.

thank you jeff buckley, rip

#jeff buckley #poem #literature #music #music blog #grace #lover you should've come over #lilac wine #so real #blog #spilled thoughts

[slutsofren]

this is for your high lady of cunning au

i have question: how do the bat boys and y/n sleep together? (assuming this takes place once the relationship is established and the main plot of the story is over)

like do they all sleep in one bed? 🛏🚶🏽‍♀️🚶🏽‍♂️🚶🏽‍♂️🚶🏽‍♂️

does y/n sleep/rotate with a different bat boy each night? etc? 🛏🚶🏽‍♀️🚶🏽‍♂️➡️ 🛌

if it's not too much, do you mind writing a little snippet or oneshot of this? (i literally had these thoughts while i was walking to the store and it hasn't left my mind since) 😭😭

oooh good question!! i hadn't considered this too much but i did have an idea of how this works-

so i like to imagine that it starts off with rotating schedules for which bed you sleep in, i mean these are three very very busy males so it really is whoever is home that night means that's where you're sleeping but i think over time, with their roles keeping them away for days or nights on end as well as your work, eventually you all end up finding yourselves in rhys room, no matter if he's home or not because he has the biggest room, the largest bed, and let's be honest, the nicest view. then, i imagine that there is that conversation about moving into a new home with a large bedroom that is solely for the four of you as well as having individual office rooms for everybody to work in, to have privacy, to store weapons, or whatever is needed.

little one-shot under the cut--

reminder this is reader x Cass/Az/Rhys polyamory & FMMM

content warnings: a little sad if u squint, mentions of lonliness, heart feels good at the end

notes: i got really soft writing this one oh my god, thank you anon!! if you ever want to know anything else, just drop it in the inbox!

word count: 1,040

read on ao3 / high lady masterlist

Sometimes you lay awake at night and listen to the sound of Velaris outside your window. You do this because you need to remind yourself that you’re alive, you’re here. You survived, your mates survived. Things were progressing and time stopped for no one.

The war is over and there is nothing in the winds to pull you from the shaky peace that you can smell outside. Most days it was shaky at best but you took what you could get.

Still, your mind danced into your worries. Cassian had sent word this morning that he won’t be home for a few days, there was a conflict between some of the war bands in Illyria keeping his attention, still he missed you as you did with him. Same could be said with Azriel, he had been overseas, spying on what was left of the human queens. He was supposed to be home two days ago but something happened and Rhysand told him to stay put for another week much to your dismay.

Rhys on the other hand… He was laying beside you, asleep. He was tired and hadn’t been sleeping well, just as you had. There were so many meetings and political headbutting going on amongst the High Lords, in the Night Court itself, as well as dealing with the freed human lands in the wake of the war. He was carrying too much and you worried he was burning his candle at both ends to keep the work from pouring onto your lap while you collaborated with rebuilding the cities that fell during Hybern’s attack.

Rhysand made you his High Lady, made you the Night Queen of Illyria, but that still did not mean he wanted to force you into political scheming so soon, not after everything you endured and not with your own task keeping you busy, but you wanted to help him as best you could.

Sometimes you wondered if he resented that request, resented your need for space to breathe away from keeping so many secrets for so long. In your heart you knew he didn’t but you couldn’t help but wonder.

All of you were working tirelessly and nonstop, hardly having time to come home and share this massive bed Morrigan bought you all as a mating gift. Most nights it was lonely without the missing occupants and during those nights, your mating bond wailed and ached in their absence.

Rhysand stirred in his sleep, pulling you from your worries. He had been laying next to you with only a hand on your thigh but he moved to lay with his head on your chest and sighed happily. The mating bond between you twisted languidly, happy as could be. Pulling you closer, he said, “Still having trouble falling asleep?”

You thread your fingers through his hair and kissed the top of his head. Your voice was soft, sad, as you replied, “I miss them.”

“They’ll be home soon,” he murmured with a yawn, trying to placate that gnawing loneliness.

Neither one of you had to say their names aloud to know who you meant. Their absence was a hollow in your chest the longer it went between their visits. Even Rhysand found it difficult to come home every night when there was so much to do, so much to plan.

He placed a kiss between your breasts and trailed his hands up and down your sides. “It won’t be like this forever,” he swore to you. “Just a little longer.”

The two of you fell into a soft and comfortable silence, just listening to his people living their lives just outside the window. Holding your mate, just like this, you clutched him tighter to you and closed your eyes and let sleep take you.

Maybe hours had passed, maybe it was only a handful of moments, but soon, you felt cocooned and warm, felt a shudder of lithe pleasure ripple through you that made your eyes open.

Whatever light was trickling into the room was muted by something large. Blinking a couple times, your vision cleared, giving you a solid look at what it was.

Wings. Wings were on top of you and Rhysand who had shifted to be laying entirely on top of you, his head still resting on your chest. But you realized, it was not just one, but two sets of wings covering you and Rhys and they were not his own.

“Did we wake you,” Cassian’s voice whispered apologetically against your hair. You tried to look at him without waking Rhysand whose even breathing told you he was still fast asleep. Cassian was to your right, stripped down to his sleepwear bottoms.

He looked just as tired as Rhysand but with a new bruise on his jaw, faded enough to tell you it was days old. “Cass-,” you sighed and leaned into him, bringing your right hand up to touch him where you could. “I’m so glad you’re home.”

Cassian kissed you on your shoulder as he pulled the sheet up on him. “Me too.”

It was then did you realize he said ‘we’.

You pulled from Cassian and looked over to your left where, sure enough, Azriel was eyeing you. Stars, he looked worn out. All of them did. The realization broke your heart and you reached over to pull your mate closer. “Az-,”

“I know,” he consoled, “We’re here. We felt it too.”

Azriel placed a kiss on your forehead and settled closer to you and Rhysand. From the outside, you wondered how the four of you looked, three winged males and their fated mate between them, loved and cherished.

Without having to search for them long, you reached out and felt the three individual mating bonds you had with the males, three bonds that twisted in unabashed glee at the proximity of you to them and they hummed. Pure unadulterated joy.

It was nights like this, where the four of you shared the bed that you wondered how it could hold you all but then once your hearts began to beat in synch with the others, you were just grateful for the time you had.

It wasn’t always like this, but it was damn good when it was.

#the high lady talks #the high lady of cunning #the high lady meta #cassian x reader #azriel x reader #rhysand x reader #reverse harem acotar #inbox 💌 #anon ask #acotar #a court of thorns and roses

[bellfort3]

Tommy doesn't have blood family because that's complicated, but he does have family.

Tubbo, at first, is the only one he yearns for.

Tubbo who betrayed him. Tommy can't help it- betrayal stings, loyalty keeps him there -and he spends many nights awake, wondering if he can ever go home.

The next morning, he wonders how he could ever leave this home.

He's been trying his best to help the Nether, but Tommy isn't a ruler. The Piglin help greatly, and somehow, his small corner of hell is more welcoming by the day.

He's lonely, but that's fine. It has to be.

Meanwhile, Dream is in prison. Not because anyone knows what he did, no, but because he incurred the wrath of Dragons. Because they heard Tommy's cry, and they struck their vengance, and now he was left to his thoughts.

Three! Three of them, right under his nose. One of them was dissapeared, the other was wingless, and the third...

Well, Dream doesn't like Quackity's visits much.

Quackity and Phil have been scouring the Nether. They're of the Overworld, but they are Dragons, just as Tommy. They could hear his cry, and they needed to find him, to make sure he didn't succumb to lonliness.

Philza knows what it can do to a dragon. Five years is a long time to spend alone, distracting himself with anything, everything. A desperate frenzy of progress.

Techno helps, for Phil, he says, though they know he cares for Tommy as well. He speaks with Piglin, bartering for information, tracking down rumors of Dragons. The are not quick to tell, for he reeks of the Overworld, and the Nether protects its own.

OMFG THIS IS SO GOOD OMG MORE PLZ

I love this benny

#benny and bellfort #dragoninnit #bellfort answers

[earthedreina]

𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐄  :  𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐊𝐄  ,  𝐎𝐂𝐓𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐀.

    name  :   octavia  blake.      age  :   eighteen      siblings  :    bellamy  blake      parents  :   aurora  blake  (  deceased  )  ,  unknown  father   hades  ,  god  of  the  underworld      status  :   year  round  camper  ,   self  appointed  CTF  champion.      appointed  cabin  :   cabin  twelve

abilities  ,

       ADHD  :    like  most  demigods  ,  octavia  possesses  supernatural  reflexes  and  senses  that  she  uses  to  analise  a  target  or  enemy.

       DYSLEXIA  :    octavia’s  brain  was  hardwired  to  read  ancient  greek  instead  of  modern  languages.  this  was  also  partly  due  to  her  mother’s  and  brother’s  obsessions  with  anciety  greek  myths  and stories. 

     NECROMANCY  :     as  a  daughter  of  hades  ,  octavia  is  able  to  control  the  dead.   this  means :              being  able  to  summon  as  well  as  banish  the  dead.              destroy  skeleton  warriors               communicate  telepathically  with  ghosts                command  the  dead  to  follow  her  orders                  release  souls                 turn  people  into  ghosts                  sense  death                   physically  touch  ghosts                  summon  ghosts  from  the  dead

    GEOKINESIS  :    as  a  daughter  of  hades  ,  octavia  has  control  over  the  earth  and  stones.   this  is  less  powerful  than  her  father’s  control  ,  but  something  she  is  still new  to.

UMBRAKINESIS  :   octavia  ,  like  her  father  ,  has  control  over  darkness  and  shadows.   significantly  less  control  than  hades  has  ,  but  she  is  able  to  make  a  room  pitch  black  and  make  shadow  creep  in  to  disoreintate  her  enemy.  

DARK  INFERNAL  PYROKINESIS  :   this  is  a  weak  power  for  octavia  and  one  that  9  times  out  of  10  ,  doesn’t  work.   but  when  it  does  ,  she  can  produce  black  hellfire  which  is  said  to  be  ten  times  more  destructive  than  actual  flames. 

PHOBINKINESIS  :   although  her  father  has  devine  power  over  fear  ,  octavia  has  some  grasp  upon  it  as  well.   she  uses  this  mainly  to  intimidate  those  around  her  ,  or  to  heighten  her rival’s  phobia’s  (  which  she  does  a  lot  just  for  a  laugh  ).

SHAPESHIFTING  :   hades  hardly  utilizes  this  ability  and  because  of  that  ,  nor  does  octavia.   why  shapeshift  when  you’re  the  god  of  death  ?   why  pretend  to  be  something  else  when  you  possess  such  divine  power  from  your  father  ?   (  in  actuality  ,  octavia  isn’t  even  sure  she  can  shapeshift  ,  but  she’ll  say  she  can  to  look  cool  )

talents  ,

      since  arriving  at  camp  half  blood  ,  octavia  has  been  rather  active  upon  the  training  grounds.  her  weapon  of  choice  is  the  sword  ,  but  has  been  caught  training  with  a  bow  and  arrow.   she’s  known  to  get  a  little  carried  away  when  sparring  with  another  demigod  ,  often  not  yeilding  even  when  her  rival  is  begging  her  to.   this  has  been brought  to  chiron’s  attention  several  times. 

      octavia  is  also  quite  the  cross  country  star.   she’s  an  active  girl,  always  had  been  since  a  young  age.  not  only  is  running  something  that  calms  her  ,  but  it  was  something  she  decided  to  keep  up  in  order  to  stay  ahead  of  those  that  wanted  her  dead. 

      due  to  being  hidden  since  a  baby  ,   the  brunette  is  also  good  at  hiding  if  she  needs  to.   although  the  though  demenour  ,  octavia  blake  was  still  a  child  -  young  and  afraid.   if  hiding  was  what  was  going  to  keep  her  safe  ,  you  best  bet  she  was  going  to  do  it.

biography ,

        octavia  was  born  to  aurora  blake  on  a  cold  evening  on  the  living  room  floor  of  her  apartment.   she  recalls  bellamy  telling  her  that  the  news  played  in  the  background  ,   a  report  of  a  natural  disaster  being  read  to  the  millions  of  viewers.   however  ,  he  wasn’t  paying  attention,   as  moments  after  she  was  born  ,  he  was  soothing  her  cries.   a  bond  that  could  never  be  broken  between  siblings. 

       however  ,  aurora  never  treated  octavia  in  the  same  manner  she  treated  bellamy.   every  knock  on  the  door  ,  the  young  blake  was  forced  to  hide  away  from  the  visitor.  forced  to  watch  through  closet  doors  as  friends  came  and  went  ,  all  passing  through  without  knowing  of  her  existence.  when  questioned  ,  aurora  would  explode  into  fits  of  anger  ,  telling  octavia  that  it  was  for  her  own  good.    she  never  uderstood  why  she  wasn’t  allowed  to  go  to  public  school  ,  or  make  friends  ,  rendering  her  mother  a  villian  in  her  story.

     she  was  young  when  bellamy  left.   she  wouldn’t  be  able  to  recall  how  young  exactly  ,  but  she  could  recall  the  lonliness  that  set  in  without  him  around.   it  was  dark  without  her  big  brother  to  keep  her  safe   and  to  hold  her  hand  when  she  had  nightmares.   she  found  herself  staying  awake  to  recite  stories  he  used  to  tell  her  in  order  to  feel  somewhat  close  to  him.  what  she  does  remember  is  seeing  something  that  night  that  would  stick  with  her  -  a  feathered  lady  with  talons  for  toes.  her  wings  outstretched  as  she  crashed  through  her  window.   her  instincts  told  her  to  hide  ,  and  she  did.   breath  slowing  so  to  not  give  away  her  position.    the  creature  soon  departed  and  as  soon  as  her  mother  returned  from  work,  octavia  told  her  what  had  happened.    she  had  half  expected  her  not  to  believe  such  a  story  ,   but  instead  ,  aurora  was  packing  their  belongings  and  rushing  octavia  to  her  car.   that  night  ,   the  night  she  lost  bellamy  ,  she  was  whisked  away  from  the  only  place  she  had  felt  safe.  

       for  the  next  few  years  ,  octavia  and  aurora  would  come  and  go  from  place  to  place.  and  each  place  ,  trouble  followed.  while  only  speaking  to  bellamy  a  few  times  a  day  through  her  mother’s   phone  ,    creatures  octavia  had  only  heard  from  the  stories  bellamy  had  told  her  before  bed  kept  showing  up  ,  atempting  to  kill them.    and  for  years  ,  they  evaded  them  . . .  until  one  winters  night.   snow  was  thick  upon  the  ground  ,  aurora  had  gone  off  the  road  ,  leading  octavia  somewhere  unknown.   the  young  girl  was  scared  ,  but  if  they  did  not  stick  together  ,  they’d  both  die.    aurora  babbled  about  a  camp  that  would  keep  her  safe  ,  a  camp  that  were  for  people  like  her  ,  but  it  confused  her  even  more.    and  although  she  wished  for  bellamy  to  be  with  them  ,  even  the  thought  of  him  brought  this  violent  annoyance  to  the  front  of  her  brain  -  he  abandoned  them.     it  was  then  ,   while  fighting  the  incoming  storm  ,  octavia  was  forced  to  run  away  from  her  mother.    harpies  tore  aurora  to  shreds  right  in  front  of  her  eyes.  bleary  eyed  and  absolutely  terrified  ,  she  ran  and  ran  ,  unsure  of  what  direction  to  go.    i  want  to  go  home.    i  want  to  go  home.    take  me  home.    it  played  like  a  mantra  in  her  mind. 

       the  cold  soon  got  to  octavia  ,  leaving  her  shivering  and  begging  for  warmth.    it  was  there  she  curled  up  in  the  snow  and  awaited  death  ,  for  that  was  all  that  she  would  accept.   when  she  awoke  ,  she  was  surrounded  by  faces  she  didn’t  know  and  smells  she’d  never  smelt.   an  older  man  smiled  down  at  her  ,  and  it  took  her  a  moment  to  realise  his  body  was  not  that  of  a  man  ,  but  as  a  horse.   barely  turned  thirteen  ,  octavia  found  a  new  home  at  camp - half  blood   and  reunited  with  her  big  brother .   she  was  quickly  claimed  by  hades  and  placed  into  cabin  twelve.   five  years  down  the  line  ,   she’s  still struggling  with  the  death  of  her  mother  ,  the  fear  of  the  harpies  and  her  temper.   she  avidly  wanders  into  the  underworld  for  a  chat  with  her  father  though  and  the  pair  are  quite  close.   bellamy  keeps  her  centered  ,   he  is  her  light  in  a  dark  day  -  he  keeps  the  urges  away  ,   the  counterweight  on  a  tipping scale  that  kept  her  balanced.

common  phrases ,

        ‘  what  the  fuck !  ‘  (  this  can  be  in  the  form  of  a  sentence  or  a  statement  of  iritation  )  

         ‘  are  you  taunting  me?  do  you  want  to  see  your  dead  grandmother  edna?  ‘  (  more  common  than  you’d  think  ) 

            ‘   excuse  me  !  do  you  know  who  my  dad  is  ?  ‘  (  yeah  ,  she’s  that  person  )

            ‘   bellamy  blake  is  a  ray  of  fucking  sunshine.  take  it  back  or  i’ll  beat  you  to  hell.  ‘ 

connections ,

        children  of  hades

         bellamy  blake  ,  child  of  ares  -  big  brother

         echo  azgeda  ,  daughter  of  athena  -  rival  through  loyalty  to  bellamy

         cerburus   -  her  big  fluffyball  in  hell

#gv. camp halfblood #long post / #this got extremely long like .. woah #this is likely to change due to plotting with ida / if ida wants to change anything c:

[hehaschosenthebees]

The Type

Steve Rodgers just isn't the type to ask for help.

He will not be weak for anyone but Bucky.

He will not be gentle nor will he be sparing if anyone brings this to him.

He trusts, but only after solidness, after many years of friendship and hardship together, Tony Stark being a fine example.

Only Bucky may see the cracks in his mask, the broken in his tender and loving heart, fiercly harded by war and pain.

So when Bucky is gone, who is there to help him?

The answer is no one.

That's why on the eleventh day of Bucky's mission (the one that was supposed to be over after a maximum of three days) he's bent to his snapping point. Since Bucky's freedom from HYDRA, they have not parted for more then a week. Nightmares torment the blonde, and each night ends up with the fammilar pinch of tears behind his eyes, but he refuses to let himslef cry.

He's not the type to cry.

So finally at two in the morning of the eleventh day, he sits on the shower floor and cries. It starts slowly at first, hesitant. Then the aching, body draining sobs shudder through him, stealing his breath and weighting his chest.

He spouts all his fears to the tile floor of the expensive shower, each one lined up and scored away.

Just like a perfect soldier should.

Neat, orderly and calm, he lists them out, hiccuping occasionally and remaining silent as the last one slips past his quivering lips.

"I'm afraid Bucky will leave me."

"I'm afraid he will get hurt, and I will have no one."

"I'm scared all my friends will die, and it will be my fault."

"Im afraid Tony will hurt Bucky becuase he doesn't trust him."

"Im scared Bucky will forget me."

"I'm afraid Bucky will hurt himself becuase he feels like a burden."

"I'm afraid to be left alone."

He shudders, the hot water doing nothing to soothe the coldness, the vast emptiness blowing through his bones. So he sits there for hours, eyes closed, forehead rested against tile and drifts. Naked and tired and hurting, he softly cries for hours becuase he will never admit it.

Steven Grant Rodgers will never admit he still needs to be taken care of. He refuses to let himself feel sad or scared becuase he is Captian America. He is the perfect soilder. And soldiers do not cry.

Though it's early morning and he has exasuted his tears, he barely manages to stumble from the shower and dry off. Wondering to his room, he selects a set of clothes he knows to be Bucky's.

It's one of the few comforts he has.

He lays on Bucky's side of their bed, eyes shut but not anywhere near sleeping. Mabye if he wishes hard enough, lets enough tears seep into the plush pillows, he can never feel them again. Never feel the hot streaks down his face, never taste the salt of his sadness on his lips.

Becuase Steve Rodgers isn't the type to cry.

So he lays there, tears slow but sure as they leave grey marks in the duvey covers and droplets in the pillowcases. He cries until his body shakes, dry sobs and low, whimpering whines.

He cries himself to sleep without Bucky.

Becuase when he wakes, he'll be good ol' Cap, right?

Wrong.

He opens his eyes to late evening sun.

"Oh well,"

He thinks. Not like he had any reason to be up anyway. He rolls over to grab Bucky's arm and shake him awake too, only to feel emptiness strike him deep in his core.

His wail of pain is audible.

Friday awakes at the sound, clacking and beeping softly in the open windowspace, converting the sunset into a computer screen. "Captian Rodgers," her pleasant voice chimes. "Do you require assitance?" It's the first words he's heard in days. He hasn't left his floor in over a week, too scared to break down during movie nights.

Who's he supposed to cuddle with, give soft tending kissess to if Bucky isn't there to enjoy the movie too?

"No," he croaks, surprised by the dryness of his throat.

"My vitals show you are severly dehydrated and low on essential nutrients. I am ordering treatment." Steve rolls his eyes, but isn't surprised when Bruce slides into his apartmet moments later. "Steve," he caps the blond on the shoulder, eyes roaming over the taller man.

He's barely standing, dark circles ringing his swollen and red eyes. His hair's a mess, tangled and swept to the side. He's in a Tee-shirt Bruce knows to be Bucky's, and a loose pair of sweatpants. His feet are bare, and the look in his eyes haunts Bruce.

Gaunt, deep depression shades his baby blues with grey. His hands shake as he cuffs Bruce back, managing a half smile that doesn't dent the gaunt look in Rodger's eyes. "You doin' alright?"

Steve deflects the question. "Under the weather," he quipps. Bruce nods, stepping back a bit. He understands the way Steve's feeling. He seats the blonde man on the couch, inserting an IV into the crook of his arm with practiced ease. "This is very important, Steve. Your serum makes you much more suseptible to passing out from malnutrution or dehydration. Please keep on it, yeah?"

Steve nods. "Yeah. Thanks pal." Bruce smiles that heartwarming, sweet smile. The one that hides something deeply concerned. "Any time, Rodgers. Call if you feel woozy, alright?" Steve nods, just a bit of happy poking through his misery.

Both he and Bruce know he would never call.

Becuase Steve just isn't that type.

So he sits. He eats and changes his IV bags like Bruce showed him, turning on the TV, though never really watching it. He scrolls past the shows that he and Buck watch together, the ones that latch onto memories that lift the corner of his mouth in a sad smile. He does the dishes and sweeps the house and sleeps his solid eight hours, always awaking to see the sunrise.

He remebers the way the sunlight gleamed off Bucky's metal arm, framing his face. Beautiful even in sleep.

It brings tears to his eyes every time, so he shares his tears with the sun every morning. The emptiness of the house fills every fold of their sheets, the one Steve refuses to wash becuase they smell of Bucky.

So ticking off the days of the calander with the marker Bucky keeps on his nightstand becomes robotic. Until one night, the twenty third evening of his emptiness, the sound of the elevator doors startles Steve out of bed. It's only 8:30, but he likes to go to sleep early, too afraid to see the stars his lover lays awake on the balcony to name on clear nights.

He scrambles, in only an old button down of Bucky's and breifs, to the living room, noting in his head where they keep three handguns in the house. (One under the bed in the gunsafe, one locked in a crane-stine drawer in the hall closet, and the one beneith the paneling of the wardrobe in the guest room.)

Creeping out around the island peeking from the kitchen, he does his best not to let blood drip from his arm where he yanked out his IV needle with haste. A sight that makes Steve fall to his knees awaits him.

James Bucanan Barnes stands in the living room, stripping off the leather holsters strapped to his body. The mission must have been dangerous, as he's got a full body harness, one for guns on either side of his chest, plenty of slips for the knives he's so keen with handling.

Steve chokes on a sob as the harness hits the couch, rattling. Empty of all but the knives. Bucky's head flicks up, eyes flashing in surprise. "Steve." His voice is warm in the dim, unseeing just the shape his lover is in. "Didn't mean to wake ya, Punk."

Steve lunges, leaning his full weight on Bucky. "God, you were gone for so long..." He whispers, hot tears pouring rivers down his pale face. Bucky hugs back, squeezing tightly. "Bruce said you weren't doing too well, love. Are you fee-" He stops short. Steve's in the light now, in all his sickly glory. Bucky swears he can see the old, skinny Steve glimmer through the still-muscled body in his arms. "Good god!" He yelps, litterally picking Steve up and carrying him to their shared bedroom. "What the hell happened?"

Steve is quiet.

"I thought you weren't comming home."

Red stains Steve's hand, and Bucky panicks. He yanks the blond's hand away, seeing the thick redness pooling in the crook of his arm and drooling down his palm. "Sweet Sara Rodgers, what the fuck?" He barks, digging through his drawer for a med kit while shoving the IV pole aside.

Steve takes his time (the best he can, at least) to talk Bucky through it. The pain and the lonliness he felt by himself, the reason he didn't want to eat or drink. Bruce's kindness, and even crying on the shower floor.

Bucky shares why the mission took so long, and spends the rest of the night with a crying angelic Steven Grant Rodgers becuase yes, it's okay to cry. They sleep in eachother's arms for the first time, sharing soft and gentle kisses until Steve's tears become something more.

Tears of joy.

Beacuse that's Steve's type.

And he won't ever have to feel those tears drying on his face ever again, becuase Bucky will always be there to wipe them away.

Becuase that's who Steve fell in love with.

A man who loves him and cares for him more then anything else in the world.

I guess you can say Steve Rodgers has a type.

--------------------------------------------------

A message for all those who feel like they are weak for crying. You are human. If you need to just let go, please do.

@the-mad-starker @peachystarker

@starkerchemistryy @starkerforlife6969

@sunflowerstarker @im-a-goner-foryou

•••above are the tags of the people who inspire me to write.•••

[jizemderler]

Alarm -Tom Holland

A/N: This one is trash. This gif and the song Alarm by Ann-Marie are responsible for this imagine, please don’t hate me. Enjoy? Part 2

I set my alarm on 3am in the morning. No I’m not a psychopath and I really love to sleep but Tom just happened to be on a whole different time zone than me. It’s been a little bit over four months since he entered a plain to fly off to film his new movie. It’s been hard. It’s been lonly. Really lonly. This distance thing was just not compatible with my emotional state and I was having a hard time. So was he. That’s the reason why I woke up at three am in the morning everyday to see his stupid face.

My alarm went off and I shut my eyes open being a little baffled for a moment. As I remembered what my alarm was for I reached for my phone and unlocked it. Seconds later I could see Tom facetiming me and I accepted his call with a sleepy smile. “Hey.”,I said and rolled onto my back rubbing my eyes, trying to get rid of the slight burning sensation. “You’re really tired aren’t you?”,he said and I put my hands away immediatly. “No? Who said that? I could run a marathon.”,I joked and winked at him. “Shut up. You wouldn’t run a marathon at anytime of the day.”,he chuckled and I smiled again. “You know me.”,I said and we both fell silent staring at each other and I felt my heart sink. “I really miss you Tom.”, I finally said and my voice sounded chocked up, not as confident as I would want it to be and he sighed. “I miss you too.”, he said and ran his fingers through his hair looking really stressed which made me worry.

“Don’t worry about it. You just have a month left.”,I said quickly and put a smile on, which didn’t feel all that real. My heart was pounding in my chest and I couldn’t put my finger on why. “Tell me about your schedule. What’s next?”,I added and changed the subject to take his mind of the real issue. “Oh…uh-..there is this event we’re working for which really stresses me out because it is a huge deal. There’ll be an after party to that. I don’t really know if I’ll go there, I have to do this other thing which still needs a lot of work and I’m not even sure…”

“Hey.”,I interrupted him and he looked up into the camera . “It’s all going to be fine. Don’t stress yourself.”,I tried to calm him but he rolled his eyes. “Yeah that’s easy for you to say.”,he said and even though I knew that he was salty because of all things he told me about, his attitude still bugged me. “No need to be an ass about it.”,I said with furrowed brows and he ran his fingers through his hair again. Rougher this time. “I know! I’m sorry. It’s just so overwhelming and you’re so far away and I just can’t…concentrate.”,he groaned and pressed his palms over his eyes. “Did you tell Harrison about this, T?”,I asked now really worried but he shook his head. “It doesn’t matter anyways. I just have to get it done.”,he said and seemed to be annoyed but I couldn’t quite tell why. “That’s not true. It does matter. I don’t want you to get sick Tom. Please talk to him.”,I tried to convince him but he let his shoulders sink. “I gotta go, Y/N. We’ll start shooting soon.”

“Tom…”

“I love you, darling.”,he said and blew me a kiss.

“Tom!”,I said now more persistent but he just cracked a half smile and waved into the camera.

“I love you too, dumbass. Go be awesome now.”,I said finally and and waved back before he hung up. It’s not really necessary to tell you that I didn’t sleep well that night. Might as well have ran a marathon. Would have been less tiring.

***

The nice thing about our relationship was that there were no hard feelings after a little argument like that. We just kept going on with our lives because we understood each other. I knew he was being a little butthurt because of the stress and it was understandable. The next day I didn’t set my alarm because I waited it to be 3am like a psychopath. I was holding my phone in my hand excitedly and smiled to myself. As soon as it was 3:00am I dialled his number and waited with a big grin on my face for him to pick up. “Hey pretty girl. What’s up?”,he picked up and I squealed while jumping up and down. “Gues what?!”,I said inbetween my excitement and pressed my palm against my lips.

“What?”,he laughed and his eyes were glowing with curiosity which made me even happier. “We got it! We got the apartment we were rooting for!”,I exclaimed and and threw my fists into the air. “Did we really?!”,he said and got up from where he was standing. “Yes. Yes. Yes! The agent called today. I didn’t want to wake you up from your sleep. You barely get any.”,I said and smiled from ear to ear.

“I wish I could’ve been there. I wish I could hold you right now.”,he sighed and let himself fall onto the couch in his trailer. “I know. Me too. But keep your head up. We will be having our own apartment soon. Do you know what that means? I’ll be always there when you come home. Even if it is late in the night and you can come cuddle with me or not. I mean we can do lots of other things in bed, you know…Try to think of that.”,I teased him and he playfully glared at me.

“Can I tell you something?”,he asked suddenly. We fell silent and were just enjoying each others company when he broke the silence. I knew he would, I waited for him to break it because I knew something was troubling him. He had this restless expression on his face where he would furrow his brows slightly and chew on his bottom lip. “Of course. Shoot.”,I said and looked at my feet which were leaned up against the wall. Was that a different shade of blue on my right foot? Damn it. “I’m having troubles.”

My head shot to my phone and I saw him look down on his feet. But I didn’t say anything because I saw that he needed time to process what he was going to say.

“I’m really having a hard time over here.”, he said and fell silent for quiet some time and panick started to rise in my chest.

“What is it Tom? You can tell me.”,I assured him with a gentle voice and wished he was right next to me so I could lay my arm around him or just take his hand in mine. He opened his mouth to go on when suddenly I heared a knock on his door. “Wait a second…”,he said and put his phone on to the table so that I watched the ceiling for a couple of minutes. “Darling, I need to go. There is a complication with the event next week.”,he said as he picked his phone up and I nodded.

“Yeah, thought so. Go. I’ll call you tomorrow. We really do need to talk Tom.”,I said carefully and he nodded but was lost in his thoughts. “Love you.”,he said and after I told him also, he was gone. That was our last nice moment I would ever remember about us. That was also the only moment he tried to tell me about his issues.

***

From that day on everything began to go downhill. While I wad at home, trying to organize the apartment thing, being excited, Tom was stressed.

“Tom?“I asked for the third time and he snapped.

“What? Y/N I really don’t have time for this and I don’t really care right now! I’m trying to organize last things about the event in three days and you are asking me about a contract? Hell I don’t know okay? I don’t care! ”,he almost yelled and I was shocked. He sighed and started massaging his temples with his free hand, obviously annoyed with me. The thing that I was bothering him with and that he didn’t really care about was our future. That hit me right in the guts. I was only asking him about when we’d be able to sign the contract. A simple question. I felt a knot build in my throat and my eyes started watering and I became angry with myself. I looked down not wanting him to see how much he got to me.

“Darling, I’m sorry. Everyone is pressuring me right now. I didn’t mean to take it out on…”

“I think we should hang up.”,I interrupted him and didn’t look up, trying to gather myself together before I would look into his eyes.

“Y/N please! I didn’t mean-…I wasn’t…”

“I need to go Tom. Go finish your work. I’ll finish mine.”,I interrupted him again and he fell silent.

“Bye.”,I only said and hung up on him without waiting for an answer. He called four times after I hung up and sent me three messages but I ignored all of them. If I talk to him right now, this is going to become a huge argument. We’re both on the edge of our nerves and we don’t need to stress that.

We didn’t talk for three days in which his important event happened. I had time to cool off and called him the morning after the event but he didn’t pick up. He was probably asleep with a huge headache. I smiled to myself imagening him having a hangover and sleeping it out, on his belly, face burried into the pillow. I called him five hours later but he didn’t pick up. Now it was getting a little weird because he should be awake by now. I shrugged my shoulders and decided to wait and not push him. He was probably still busy. Post event things? Who knows. I made myself a nice cup of sugary tea and chose a movie to watch while I waited for him to call back.

But he didn’t.

I called him the following two days three times a day but he did not answer once. Finally, it was a thursday night, I called Harrison when my alarm went off at 3am in the morning. “Hey!”,he picked up and I exhaled thankfully. “Harrison! Thank god! Is Tom with you?”,I said immediatly and and walked up and down in my living room. “Y/N! Hey- yeah,uh…i mean no. He is not. He is…out?”,he stuttered and I furrowed my brows.

“Harrison.”,I said with a warning tone.

“Alright I’m officially stepping out of this. You guys need to talk. That’s all I’m going to say. No Tom I won’t shut up. You shut up. Gosh! You’re the one with the problem and I am…”, he kept talking but the rest got cut off as he hung up. Oh shit. This was about the other night. I broke his heart. I should have been supporting him through his stressfull times but I blocked him. I pushed him away.

I took my phone and wrote him a message.

Dearest love, I fucked up. I am so sorry for pushing you away when you needed me the most. I’m sorry for being a bitch (even though you were a dick to me before that but that is long forgiven) Tom, I always want to be by your side even if you have to be away for several months for shooting and promo. I’ll be done with college in a year and than I���ll be able to travel with you. We’ll have the best time of our lives. I’ll be waiting for your return in two weeks. We’ll talk this out when you come back, just know that I still love you. From all my heart.

I sent it and waited for an answer with a big smile on my face. The smile faded with every passing minute. He didn’t reply and I was left a crying mess the whole night. I messed up big time.

***

I came back from college the next day feeling numb the whole time and threw myself on the couch. I didn’t eat much and my body felt sore. I was watching a TV show when someone knocked on the door. When I looked at the clock I wondered who it could be. It was past midnight. When I opened the door I couldn’t believe my eyes.

“Tom?!”,I squealed and threw myself around his neck, pulling his body close to mine, breathing in his scent. “What are you doing here?! Come in!”,I said and pulled him inside closing the door behind us. “I missed you so much.”, I sighed and pulled him towards me again and placed my lips against his. It took him some time to kiss me back but when he did I felt my heart lighten. Like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. He pulled away after a few seconds and stepped back. I was going to say something but he held me off.

“We need to talk.”,he said and his chocked up voice made my body stiffen. “What is it?”,I said and furrowed my brows worriedly. He looked up from the floor and I thought my heart stopped when he looked into my eyes. His beautiful brown eyes were red and watery from crying, his lips were trembling and swollen because of the constant biting.

“Tom what happened?”, I said now panick rising in my voice and then it hit me.

“First I want you to know that I still love you with all my heart and I am so, so sorry for what happened. You’re the only one I love, you have to believe me…”

“What happened?”,I interrupted him and formed my hands into fists by my side trying to controll my rising anger. This couldn’t be happening.

“I cheated on you.”

My world stopped spinning. My heart stopped pounding. Everything was awefully silent. It was too loud.

“What did you say?”

“Please, you have to listen to me! I’m begging you. I didn’t mean to…I was anxious and stressed. Frustrated really. I know these aren’t excuses for what I did but…”

“Did you kiss her?”,I interrupted him without listening to him and he held his breath.

“Answer me! Did you?!”,I screamed and he nodded.

“I did.”

“Did-…Did you sleep with her?”

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

“I did.”

I fucked up. I am so sorry. My words echoed in my head. I am so fucking dumb.

Before I knew what I did I already had smacked him right across his face. My whole body was shivering and it felt like the room was spinning. A sobb escaped my throat and I pressed my palm against my mouth to stop the rest. I just threw myself at him and kissed him like a fucking moron! My sight got blurry because of the tears in my eyes and finally they escaped. It was a silent cry. One where you know that it has no point. One you know, will destroy you. I stumbled back slowly and shook my head trying to get rid of the images my mind made up of him being tangled in bed with another.

“Please you need to listen to me. It was a big mistake. You have to believe me. I don’t even know her. It just…happened. I was confused and on edge. I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I need you to…”

“Shut up. Shut up! Shut the fuck up!”, I screamed and pulled at my own hair while shaking my head furiously. And then I went mad. I stormed towards him and started throwing punches and pushed him backwards out of the room while yelling at him.

“Get out! Get the fuck out! I don’t want to see you. Leave!”

I slammed the door shut and slid to the floor balling my eyes out for the love of my life. He did the same thing on the other side of the door.

The alarm in my bedroom went off. It was time to call him.

He fucked up big time.

#tom holland ig #tom holland oneshot #tom holland imagine #tom hiddleston #tom holland #tom holland x you #tom holland x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #peter quill #peter parker #peter parker oneshot #spiderman x reader #spiderman x you #spiderman imagine #spiderman oneshot #spiderman #spiderman homecoming #avengers: infinity war #avengers moodboard #avengers imagine #avengers one shot #avengers #marvel imagine #marvel oneshot #marvel #mcu #tony stark quotes

[sammy-moo]

Smother Me

Characters: Sam x Reader, Dean

Prompt: Day Twenty-six, a song that you can play on an instrument

Words: 731

Warnings: Fluff

A/N: I also received a request for fluffy Sam and reader where the reader was lonely. This song worked perfectly to do so. If you’d like to be tagged let me know!

Silence. It was all you could hear in the bunker and it drove you insane. It never helped when your depression and lonliness loomed over you. But you weren't the only one feeling this way.

The younger Winchester was in the same rut. 

He blinked hard in frustration and to fight off his growing fatigue. He had to focus and get this translated. In fact the case practically depended on it. 

Footsteps sounded through, bouncing off the walls as Dean stepped into the war room. 

"Dude, it's two in the morning.... What are you still doing awake?" 

Your eyes glanced to the clock on your bedside table. Sure enough it was two in the morning, causing you to sigh softly. You focused on Sam and Dean talking. The sound of Sam's voice always calmed you down. Maybe if you were lucky enough it'd make you fall asleep.

"I've gotta get this stuff done Dean." 

Dean sighed, "Go get some sleep Sammy." 

You heard the chair scrape the ground and then a small clutter. You buried your face into your pillow to pretend you were sleeping as tears began to stain the cotton fabric. 

You heard Dean wonder into his room and shut the door. You weren't worried of Dean seeing you since he didn't have to pass by your room, but Sam had to. And you didn't want him to see you this weak- this lonely. Hell, part of you wished he would comfort you. But he wasn't your's to seek comfort in. He wasn't even your's to hold on to. 

Sam wasn't paying attention and walked into your room tiredly. You stayed quiet, waiting. Sam trudged over to your bed, pulling the covers back he crawled in beside you. He tensed up a bit when he felt you against him. 

"Y/N?" Sam sighed when you didn't respond, realizing you were asleep. He was about to get up and leave until he heard your breathing. 

It was clear you weren't asleep. He could hear that you were crying- trying to mask it up. Sam took in your curled form, crumbling into yourself with your sadness. 

His dry, chapped lips pulled into a frown as his brows knitted together. 

"Y/N? Are you alright?" Sam let out a sigh when you didn't respond. "I know you're awake... Please?" 

You sniffled and adjusted to look at him. 

"Talk to me?" 

You shook your head softly, "It's nothing.... Just go to your room." 

Sam scowled even more, "I'm not leaving this bed until you tell me." 

You turned your focus back to your pillow as you let out a shaky breath, "I'm lonely.... I'm depressed. I'm overthinking. I worry that if I confess a certain truth, things will end badly." 

Sam blinked a bit, not expecting you to cave so quickly. He shook his head gently and focused back on you, "It's alright. If you don't wanna talk about it then that's okay. But Dean and I are here for you. Always." 

"But I don't want," you let out a sigh. "Sam I'm just tired... I'm tired of all of it. I'm tired of being lonely. I'm jealous when Dean finds something. Yeah it's for a night, but I'm jealous. No one wants me. You two only deal with me because I'm a good hunter... I'm not--" 

"Stop..." 

You looked to him to see hurt in his eyes. Why did it upset him?

"We like having you around. You're an amazing hunter, great friend, and an even better person. And what Dean finds isn't something. It's not anything but booty calls.... It's not meaningful..." He gulped convincing himself to keep going. "Someone wants you. Someone out there truly does.... I mean.... I want you. I've wanted you, Y/N." 

Your heart began to hammer as you processed what he just said. The tears still going down your face pulled you back into a sort of focus, "Y- You do?" 

"Of course... That's if you'll have me?" 

You rolled over to get a better look at him, nodding shyly. 

Sam smiled and opened his arms. He kissed your head once you rolled into his arms. He began to comfort you and rub your back gently. 

"Whatever is burdening you right now isn't something we have to talk about. Talk about it when you're ready okay? For now, just let it all out." 

Tagging: @sleepywinchester, @kinkystevesgirl, @timeforsmut, @goldenangelbloodcastiel, @because-imma-lady-assface, @growningupgeek, @keelzythe2nd, @abbessolute, @wideawakeandwriting, @super-not-naturall, @babypieandwhiskey, @wi-deangirl77, @ilsawasanacrobat, @impala-dreamer, @becs-bunker, @poukothenerd

#sam x reader #sam x reader insert #sam fluff #lonely!reader #lonely!sam #cutesy fluff #sam winchester #dean winchester #spn fanfic #spn ff #spn fanfiction #supernatural ff #supernatural fanfic #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural sam #supernatural sam fic #supernatural sam fluff #supernatural fluff #spn sam #spn sam fic #spn fluff #smother me #spn song fic #supernatural song fic #ela writes #sammy-moo #sammy moo #30 days of sam winchester #30 day song challenge

[alittlecstaticxilophone]

The willow's prince

prologue

Chapter one

It had been a while since Lucy arrived at the tabern and she had already gotten used to everyone there,t he usuals at least and their peculiarities. At first it was difficult since her knowledge in cooking and cleaning where limited at best but Mirajane was very patient with her until she learned everything she needed. Even if it was her first job Lucy really enjoyed it, the only problem was that Natsu sometimes got her on her nerves finding new ways to annoy her being the most regular changing her name from Lucy to Luigi. That saturday morning wasn’t particulary busy, it was only eleven in the morning and that day most of the people wouldn’t arrive until twelve leaving her alone to attend the six people that were in the place since Mira hasn’t arrived yet and Makarov was busy refilling the storage. -I don’t understand- Natsu whispered only loud enough for Lucy to hear and only because she was right in front of him serving other clients. -These are letters clever boy and those make words- Lucy answered sarcastic cleaning the table next to him -Just kidding- she corrected with a smile when he stared at her in annoyance -What is the problem?- She said sitting in front of him to have something to do until a new activity surged, a soft smile still adorned her face genuinely concerned but mostly bored at the lack of activity. Natsu fixated his eyes on her usure of what to do, with a shrug of his shoulders he dissmised the problem pushing a map in front of himself so she could look at it with clarity. -See this two villages?- he said pointing at them in the map, -Well, you see their people had been getting along since their founding, they had never caused a problem, nor had a conflict between them. Until recently- She looked at him waiting for him to continue -This two villages are separated by a river, they usually were good at sharing not minding the fishing or washing in there -Until?- Lucy interrupted, he sighed ready to continue -One villager found out the river had a lot of gold in it; now both villages are fighting to see who is the owner of the gold that was found on the river.- He finished, Lucy stared at him confused unknown to her why was Natsu the one responsible to solve this. -You say they had always shared the river, right?- She asked and he nodded -It’s a shame how much the money changes people for the worst- Lucy lamentted remembering a couple of people she knew that never cared who they hurt in order to win a position next to her kingdom’s royalty -Tell me about it- Natsu agreed remembering the line of girls ready to marry him from who he had to hide yesterday. -Well-Lucy meditated her anwser putting a finger over her chin -The river is what we can call neutral ground. Neither theirs nor theirs-Lucy pointed at both villages in the map- And they had always shared everything in it, Then the answer is really obvious don’t you think?- She concluded at him smiling, the pink haired man stared at her in clair confusion -You think?- He asked, the first solution he had in mind had been a battle between both villages and the winner would get the gold, literally,  but Zeref had dismissed that option almost immediatly, it would be nice if Lucy agreed with him -Yeah, don’t you see? They have to share the gold, we have to use the rule of who finds it keeps it- Lucy told Natsu -Why?- he asked unsure of that answer, it didn’t promise solving the conflict it just promised more -Think of the gold as the fish- -But the gold is not fish- he interrupted her -You really are weird Lucy- She could feel her eyebrow twitch, with a growl she continued deciding for the first time to ignore the pink haired. -As I was saying-She continued glaring at him -They had always shared the fish in the river, there was never a problem of this is my fish or this is yours, who caught it took it home, as simple as that- -Then they need to do the same with the gold- Natsu concluded a huge grin on his face thankful for having the problem -But there’s another question here- Lucy whispered, he looked at her in disbelief he was ready to go with his brother to celebrate that he had solved the issue (with a little help of course) -How old are this villages?- Lucy asked confusing Natsu who furrowed his eyebrows at the weirdness of the question -Around 150 years each, why?- he answered -Well, you are telling me that in 150 years no one ever found gold on that river- He opened his mouth to reply but not a single sound came from it realizing that the blonde girl was right -Do you think I should send someone to investigate where does the gold come from before telling the villagers what to do?- He asked -Look your brain actually works- Lucy mocked -I think it would be the most apropiate thing to do, just in case the gold has an owner already- Natsu nodded agreeing with her -Thank you Lucy- He said a huge grin on his face -Your welcome- she anwsered with a smile. Although he left her wondering why he was solving a problem of that kind. Natsu didn’t show up in Fairy Tail for an entire week, Lucy questioned Mira about this since she had gotten acoustumed to him making a fight almost everyday, the white haired woman answered that Natsu sometimes vanished for weeks, it was a normal occurance and no one never gave too much tought at the topic. Of course, neither Lucy nor Mira expected Natsu to come back running into the bar the biggest grin on his face, he didn’t even took the time to greet everyone like he usually did and rushed his way to put himself in front of Lucy who was cleaning a table . -You were right!- He almost screamed right in front of her startling the young woman. -I was?- She asked slightly confused until she remembered what he was talking about -Yes,-he said while he took a sit -Turns out that a boat sunk a few days ago and the owner was looking for his belongings, the gold, and everything that could be savable, we gave his gold back to him and the villages now get along again, they even made a party to celebrate being friends again. Man! I ate so much that night- he narrated her -I’m glad it worked out well- Lucy said as Natsu took a bag and gave it to her -What is this?- She asked staring at the little brown bag -Is a payback, if it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t have solved this and I would have to listed to my brother scolding me- Lucy opened the tiny bag staring at the content, a few golden coins shined -Natsu, I’m thankful but I can’t accept this- She said closing the bag and returning it to him -Why not?- he wondered -I was doing it as a favor, I wasn’t expecting any payment from it and I still don’t- He took the bag and placed it between her hands -I don’t understand why you reject it-Natsu mumbled- even though you are weird this is my way to say Thank you so, why are you refusing it? You should accept it- he complained, Lucy let out a long sigh -You are not giving up are you?- She asked more to herlsef than to him because he was already smiling -Fine I’ll take it but only this time you can’t pay me with gold every time I help you with something, you’ll go broke- she said -Gotcha!- he said making his way to the bar ready to be served, Lucy finished cleaning the table laughing at the pink haired man behaviour. The least thing Lucy expected was that Natsu would show up on Monday with a bunch of scrolls, books and maps a goofy smile on his face. -Lucy!- he called, she could barely see him behind everything he was carrying, he placed everything on a table that was empty completely filling it, the blonde girl stared at him while she was serving Gray an ice cream unsure of what to do seeing that almost everyone was as shocked as she was -I need your help with these- he requested and she let out a sigh -I can’t Natsu I’m working- she answered starting to write  Levy’s order in a tiny notebook -Don’t be like that Lucy- he complained with his eyebrows furrowed -Please- he begged making Mira laugh at the situation. -Fine- Lucy compelled -But you’ll have to wait until I’m not this busy- she served another client, Natsu nodded enthusiastically ready to get Lucy’s advice on every single one of this issues -Aye sir- he said making a militar salute, Lucy laughed in response finding herself eager to enjoy the company of the pink Haired man.

The morning sun felt like a slap on Lucy’s face inmediately making her regret the fact that she had let her curtains open the night before wishing for the fresh air to greet her in the morning, instead of the lovely morning she expected she now had to keep her eyes closed even if she was awake to avoid hurting her sight. She lifted herself from the light blue pillows and kept herself sitting in the bed with the red mattress still over the lower part of her body.

Lucy stared at the window she was barely able to witness anything that wasn’t other buildings and the hectic lives of those who lived in Columbine. She froted her eyes justo to asure herself that she was still awake and not dreaming, the clock in her nightstand marked the seven in the morning and since her first hour teacher had told them before that she wouldn’t be attending so that gave her more than enough time to space out and arrive to college at a respectable time. She took her cellphone and began wondering through chats she had left open and the group chat she had with her friends noticing that they were making the same mess as usual specially to the poor shy Yukino who had became girlfriend with Rogue. The blonde let out a small laugh while she stretched herself ready to begin her day.

While she was making herself breakfast she started to wonder about the dream she had the night before, it wasn’t unusual since she had grown up with that kind of dreams, the only thing is that she wondered why. They said all dreams have meanings but how could she find a meaning to blurry faces and a feeling of lonliness every time she woke up. This time was slightly different, this time one of the blurry faces had spoken to her, it was shorter than her and claimed that she also liked books but no one could get anything out of that.

When she finished her breakfast she walked to her bedroom to change herself, she decided to use a pair of jeans, a dark blue blouse without sleeves and a white jacket she accomodated her hair in a ponytail and left picked her bag to assure she would arrive on time.

The journey went smootly do As soon as she arrived to the main yard she tried to locate her friend Yukino who was sitting in a bent under a three focused on a book, with a devilish smile Lucy aproached the gray haired girl and surprised her with a hug -Lucy!- the woman almost screamed at the sudden interruption to her reading, a slight blush covered her face

-Yukino! I’m so happy for you- Lucy said in response, she let go of the girl when she though it was time-I’ve been in a necesity of details since Sting pretty much screamed it at the chat so you need to tell me everything- Lucy begged, the blonde woman had seen Yukino’s feelings evolve from a simple “He’s my friend he’s cute” to “We’re just friends I can’t have feelings for him, it would ruin it and I don’t want to ruin it” and it made her glad that she had finally passed that barrier

-Well- Yukino began placing her bookmark in the botanics book she was reading, -The saturday in the night Rogue came to my house to return the book I had borrowed him,- Lucy nodded to this, Yukino often lended Rogue books so he could use them as a reference to paint, one day Sting asked him why he didn’t use internet for that and Lucy could have sworn she saw the black haired blush while he said that books where more reliable -Naturally I invited him inside and gave him a cup of tea. I sat next to him in the couch to talk. Then Orga sent me a message and I started to laugh, when I did that Rogue looked upset so I asked him that if there was any problem or if he didn’t like the tea so I could make him another one- Yukino looked slightly nervous and Lucy couldn’t help but laugh at the image of her friend panicking over a cup of tea. -He said that there was nothing wrong with the tea, I asked him if he was sure or that if he was hungry I could give him a few pastries I had made and just when I was about to stand up he took me by the hand and laid me down on the couch with him on top, then he said “No, that’s not the problem, you see I have a slight issue Yukino and I don’t know what to do about it anymore. I fell for you, and really hard you are always so nice to everyone and so cute I couldn’t help it, it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way, it’s understandable I was just jelous that you might have fallen for someone else”- The gray haired woman’s face was in an obvious red at the memory

-Aww- Lucy moaned -That’s adorable,who would have thought our serious Rogue would have it in him? and then what happened- Lucy urged looking at her clock watching that she still had some time left until her class started.

-Then he lifted himself from over me and apologized saying that he may had made me uncomfortable and that it would not happen again. I was awfully amazed, I mean it was completely unexpected. He was about to leave so I grabed him by the coat. He stared at me surprised then I told him I likee him back he was so happy, although I think I was the happiest, Then he asked me to be his girlfriend- Yukino finished, a smile on her face, Lucy hugged her friend once again in pure joy like a proud mother congratulating her child for doing well on school.

-I hope you have an amazing relationship- Lucy said

-I hope so too- Yukino muttered the happiness expression still adorned her face.

Both girls stood there a few more minutes talking about trivial subjects including the party that Sting was going to host to celebrate his birthday. The time passed too quickly to Lucy’s dissmay so she said goodbye to her friens so she could part to her class giving Lucy the chance to do the same with her own.

The rest of the day went slowly to Lucy’s displeasure making her regret not faking some disease so she could stay home and sleep more. She took notes of every lesson her teachers gave and hurried her way to the campus’ library to be the first to secure the books the professors have left them to read. Ever since she was a little kid she had found her love between books and tales giving her the inspiration to choose literature as her career in the hopes that some day she could become a succesful author

She checked her phone to see if her group of friends would be reuniting that afternoon but the answer was negative, Yukino had to give the final details to and exposition she was going to give in her class, Rogue had to finish a paintin, Sting had a bunch of cars left to fix and Minerva was stook in a photoshoot. Lucy groaned at this, complaining for the lack of excuse to pospone her homework. The phone vibrated in her hand with a few texts from a couple of classmates who she considered her friends asking about the homework.

Feeling too lazy to even make herself a proper food she decided to order chinese to calm down her growing apetite. She had to make sure she would arrive at her home before the food did so she hurried her way.

With how the traffic was that day she was lucky that she had arrived practically at the same time, with a relieved smile she paid the delivery guy and pushed the elevator’s button to the floor were her appartment was.

The rest of the day went normal for the blonde girl. She had eaten, done the homework succesfully and with everything she was left with some time to spare, time she decided to use to catch up in some series she had left unifished. As soon as she grew tired around ten p.m. she took a bath and went to sleep.

I'm really sorry this took this long :'( but if it's the first time you read it the prologue is in my profile I'm unable to put the link since I'm on mobile but I hope you enjoy this.

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