#dont you fucking dare disagree with me. dont even try. i will not argue you will be blocked on sight

[ghostslimu]

you will never be a bad person for not reblogging a post on tumblr, please remember that

#opinion #ocd #ocd safe #dont you fucking dare disagree with me. dont even try. i will not argue you will be blocked on sight #intrusive thoughts about your own morality are one hell to live with #youre not helping mentally ill people by threatening others into reblogging your awareness posts. youre harming them

[i8jisoo]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader 

hyunjin x reader | part four of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff

↬ warnings; pregnancy, lots of cursing (i have a streak), birth, n kkami bein a meanie

↬ notes; ok this might be my fav in the series | 1.5k wc

u and hyunjin actually were broken up when u found out about the pregnancy

u waited (stalled fuck off) until five months since u really didnt know what to do with the news

u kinda feel like ur insane, playing your ex-boyfriends music constantly and watching interviews of him but it kept u company and gave u a reminder that u still needed to tell him

u got this rly cute popped out bump, just rly kinda like those movies but u know its gonna get bigger and grow to have stretch marks

one day ur just sitting on the sofa of your apartment n the next thing u know ur door is being opened and hyunjin is barging in

ofc ur in a sports bras and a pair of basketball shorts cause they r comfortable and shirts r overrated

ur there with set out marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate, as well as peppermint sticks on the side just eating them together

ur in the middle of eating a smore u had put together

u swallow ur smore slowly, sucking on ur fingertips n just staring at him

“oh my fucking god- and it’s true?” 

ur honestly so confused until u remember u dont have on a shirt n ur bump is showing

ur standing up in a millisecond, hyunjin getting more upset by the second just looking at u

“why— how? how could you just not tell me?”

baby boy has those angry tears and the strained voice hes just so upset and the guilt is setting in for u

“i’m five and a half months.” 

fuck hormones cause next thing u know ur crying and u cant do anything to make it stop

u guys really can’t be mad at each-other, ur relationship was filled with nothing but kindness and it ended only because u two felt it was going no where

ofc u two argued about it and in the end hyunjin was the one who walked out

“we can try again. you can move back in right? we can stay together and put back the pieces.”

u agreed n by the next morning he was there to help u pack ur things up n take them back to his place

he ends up seeing the box of baby stuff, with unopened bottle packages and sonograms, as well as a disc that was labelled as your 3D ultrasound

u find him just sitting there, staring at the black and white sonogram with tears freely falling down his cheeks

he doesn't even notice u next to him until ur thumb swipes the tear away from his cheek

u two just smile at each-other, his arm wrapping around u n pulling u in to his side

“that’s our baby?” he asks, not removing his eyes from the little white blob that barely was the size of a jaw breaker n u just whispered, “yea, it is.”

ur relationship doesn’t exactly get back into what it was at first,,

ur both nervous and cautious around each other

at first he insists he can just sleep on the couch so u can take his bed but u insist u both can sleep together

hyunjin doesn’t mean to but he somehow always winds up with his arm around u n ur bump every morning

he will talk to the bump n tell them how they r gonna have the best mommy n daddy 🥺

“did u know ur mommy is one of my favorite people to be with? i know ur gonna hear the story one day of how we became parents but i have always loved her, even when we weren’t together i loved your mommy. i hope one day you will love someone as much as i love your mommy, i hope you get your mommy’s personality bub.”

ur fake sleeping wbk but u dont move so u can let him talk

around eight months u two are way more comfortable n are getting closer

he lets u borrow his clothes because u used to do that even when u weren’t pregnant and he figured they were more comfortable & better looking than ur maternity outfits 😣

he rly goes the whole nine yards, buying anything u can think of for the baby n he’ll sometimes wake u up from ur sleep (if he’s rly excited) just so he can show u what he bought

hyunjin is in love with u and kkami cuddling together

also when ur due date got closer u both def went out for walks with kkami or played in the dog park with kkami

(u couldn’t really be as active as hyunjin but it was fine with u just watching)

something within hyunjin changes n he just gets so shy n flustered around u ^.^

he’s crushing so hard on u and u can guess he is but then again u two were just living together for the pregnancy

it’s probably three in the morning n hyunjin had just came home

ofc u were crying

a rly cute dog ad was playing with a baby in it as well :(

u explain n hiccup while doing so

hes so s o f t at this moment

he presses a soft kiss to ur lips n ur like wow thats um—

he doesn’t even care how shocked u r this man goes back in for more kisses

“i want you, i wanna be a real family. i wanna one day marry you, have more babies or get other dogs, that’s all i’ve ever wanted since the day we met.”

enywayz u two r dating,, a g a i n

spooning half of the time during ur last few weeks of pregnancy, but the boys come over frequently n for some reason jeongin is always bringing presents?? its cute but u guys RLY didn’t need anymore toys for the baby

u guys r just cuddling n he’s got one hand on ur bump before ur like

“ow,, fuck that hurt.”

“hey don’t swear around the baby!”

u just suppose it’s a hard kick since the baby had been active a lot recently n the pains had been occurring often

kkami is very cuddly today n he’s giving u kisses

hyunjin lowkey jealous cause kkami doesn’t ever give him kisses like that  ⸜( ⌓̈ )⸝

yall ever seen the thing where dogs know pregnant people the best n they can like SENSE something goin on??

well kkami was on it 

baby kkami is sniffing u n just restless in ur lap n its a lil weird cause kkami is ALWAYS sleeping or sitting still cause kkami has turned as lazy as u n hyunjin

u have this feeling but instead u just tell hyunjin u gotta pee :P

newsflash: u didnt n as soon as u got up, boom, theres ur water breaking and running down ur leg

“it feels gross.”

ur literally whining about ur pants while a baby is coming out of ur ... hooha 😳 n hyunjin is freaking out

he’s rushing around the rooms n making sure everything is in the bag and nothing gets left behind

last thing on his mind is changing ur clothes

though he does, putting u in his baggy sweatshirt and a pair of his shorts

hes freaking out lets be honest the thought of u giving birth is fuckin scary

hyunjin is so out of it and spaced out while ur cool n talking normally with pauses everytime theres a contraction

“aish, why are you so worried? i’m the one that should be worried!!”

ur not cool after an u hit the four hours in labor mark

u do not want to be t o u c h e d

touching u is off limits ur so sweaty n ur body feels like its crumbling u cannot deal with someone holding ur hand or holding u

hyunjin just sits there

hes kinda in a different realm while he stares at the clock on the wall

hes so ready to meet the baby but apparently ur body was exactly 4 centimetres not ready :(

hes just trying to distract u by talking with the boys n his other friends, all of the face timing to talk to the parents to be 🥺

yall r wrapping up a call with jeongin when u have the built up pressure feeling again

he doesn’t even explain to jeongin hes so quickly to hang up n ask u whats wrong

“i— it feels like i have to push.”

he’s already pressing the pretty lil white button on ur bed for the nurses n doctors

they confirm that u indeed r ready to push and that the baby is in position

hyunjin trying to take a peek WHAT A WEIRDO

yall hearing ur baby has a head full of hair and u just give hyunjin this look

like WTF no wonder why u had so much heartburn its because of ur fuckin rapunzel baby daddy

here comes the cries, loud n u just heard the quietest sob from beside u which was hyunjin

“it’s a baby boy, congrats!!”

his lil puppy baby boy 🥺

he had a lil pout like his daddy n his brown locks on top of his head

it was kinda creepy how similar they looked

anyways u dont care ur lil boy is p e r f e c t and nobody could dare tell yall different

u would disagree anyways because thats ur lil pouty baby boy n hes so cute 🥺

“we got a pretty good break-up story right? one for the books.”

he’s got baby boy in his arms bundled up but that doesn’t stop u from smacking his arm before kissing him quickly

“yea, we do.”

©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

#stray kids #skz #pregnant!reader #hyunjin #hyunjin angst #hyunjin fluff #hyunjin x reader #mom!reader #dad!skz #dad!stray kids #bangchan x reader #minho x reader #changbin x reader #felix lee x reader #seungmin x reader #jeongin x reader #stray kids angst #stray kids scenarios #stray kids fluff #skz angst #skz fluff #skz scenarios #i.n x reader #stray kids au #skz au #stray kids series #skz series #jisung x reader #dad!hyunjin #hyunjin x pregnant!reader

[tomuraxashes]

Found you (part 2)

—————————————-

The morning came quickly, and the LoV members were ready for the mission. At first, it all went so smoothly.

Kurogiri teleported Dabi and Twice there, Twice successfully made some clones who copied some employees (who got kicked out by Dabi), so they could find their target easily.

The problematic part stated with the stealing. That particular room when the secret file was kept, was obviously under a high security level, so they needed to immobilise the guards at first. The system of course indicated so they had not much time for the stealing.

The file was in a safe so at first they needed to open it. It wasn't a big problem cuz one of Twice's clones already find the key, but while they were busy with the opening, the heroes got into the room as well.

So then got Dabi in charge, to fight with them while Twice can get the folder.

It was okay, but suddenly there were too much heroes out of blue, which wasn't calculated in the plan. Even with some of Twice's clones of Dabi werent enough to fight with them all. They needed to be fast and retreat as quickly as they could.

When they had the file, Kurogiri came and teleported them back home.

The only problem was, Dabi got seriously injured.

- We need to take him to the doctors! - Toga insisted almost in panic - he will die!

- And what after? They will put him in jail! - Magne argued with her.

- Well, still better to be in prison then be dead - Compress stated - we would still have a chance to rescue him, but only if he is alive.

After a while, almost the whole League agreed that they need to go to the hospital. No matter what it takes, the priority is now Dabi's life. Even if they will be caught as well, and put in a jail - while taking him to the hospital.

They were about to decide who should bring Dabi to the hospital - and taking the risk to be captured as well, when Shigaraki suddenly interrupted their plannings.

- No one will go nowhere. Take Dabi in my room now, and that's all.

- How could you say this, boss? Don't you see if he doesn't get a professional medical treatment he could die easily? - Toga almost shouted, and the rest of the League seemed to share her opinion now.

- We already decided, we will take him to the doctors even if it costs out freedom. The remaining of us will make a plan to free us, but it doesn't matter now, Dabi is barely alive, don't you see? - she continued, while almost crying.

- I said, you don't go anywhere. Just take Dabi to my room and don't fucking piss me off - Tomura was loosing his calmness - and that's not a request but a fucking order.

Toga wanted to disagree again, but then Magne caught her arms as a warning. He is the boss, that's right. They cannot act on their own, without his permission. That would be a treason - however, they all were thinking about the same thing.

Maybe Tomura wants to protect them but what it costs? They cannot let their friend die just because Shigaraki is somehow too narrow minded. They need to convince him, or if it cannot work, then they have to unite - and go against the order.

Meanwhile this silent vow was made between the members, they took Dabi into the boss's room, as he ordered.

The flame villain was barely conscious, and he really needed to be healed.

Now, all the members of the League were standing in Shigaraki's room. They were ready even to commit a treason - (well not Kurogiri but the others) - they decided they won't let Dabi die, no matter what.

They were now waiting- what is Shigaraki up to now. Why he wanted Dabi to be in his room?

- Leave us alone - that was all they got.

If they weren't too hectic, they would see how Tomura is not exactly all right. But they were only busy with Dabi now. They were almost ready to disobey their boss, when Kurogiri stopped their intentions

- Before doing any recklessness, please trust Shigaraki Tomura.

The League was now merely confused. They always trusted him and obeyed him, but now they didn't know his plans and the matter was no less than Dabi's death..

- Dont be afraid I will cure him. Just get out! - that was all they finally got from their leader.

.

His own subordinates were looking at him with a heavy gaze. They made it clear - they are ready to disobey, they are ready to risk their lives in order to save Dabi's.

But he won't allow it. He is the fucking leader, and if someone has to, than he will be the one who will put his life into a risk.

He can't figure it out but he do care. He won't let them down. And mostly - he won't let Dabi down.

No one's gonna die from his subordinates.

So in order to achieve this goal, he will use his other quirk. Which he hadn't use for years. Not since his family died...

This would be the first time he's gonna use it on somebody else than his mom, sister .. and Touya.

.

"Cure?" - Dabi barely heard his boss talking to the others. He saw them leaving the room, now there were only two of them.

Dabi was slightly breathing. He felt his body overheated and even his old injuries got worse. It was so fucking painful for him - even the breathing was somehow difficult. He didn't really wanted to be taken to the hospital but he wanted to endure the pain. His heart almost melted when he heard the League members determined to saving him. So they really consider him as a family?

And now - what are Shigaraki's plans? Will he kill him? With his given quirk Dabi couldn't really imagine anything else. Decay is not the one for healing people...

He was almost satisfied with the thought of death, when he suddenly felt some relieving feelings.

He didn't open his eyes yet, but he felt his breathing is normal again, and his burnt scars are hurting less and less.

When he finally opened his eyes, he saw Shigaraki's hand over him and he felt the energies coming trough his skin and curing his injuries.

- What the.. - he mumbled quite surprisedly.

- Dont embarrass me! - he heard his boss a little anxiously.

- I'm not doing anything, damn just lying there as half dead, what's your problem?

- Just .. don't stare at me. I'm quite anxious anyways.

- Wow, chill.. but what exactly are you doing? How am I feeling so much better?

- If it's obvious, I'm trying to cure you. But I haven't done it for years, so please.. just shut up and close your eyes.

- Mkay - Dabi agreed - but wait. No. How are you doing this? I thought your quirk is decay, and now you are .. I just don't understand.

- My quirk is decay, but you know, there are people born with two quirks as well. So am I, I do have an other quirk, which is something like a reincarnation, and I'm trying to use it, so if you'd let me I would continue it - Tomura was a little bit pissed off now.

It seemed like it took Dabi some sec to get the information, because he was silent for a bit, but not for too long.

- So.. besides the destruction, you are able to reincarnate... are you a fucking Hindu god crossover or what?

-What - the bluenette was totally lost for now on.

- You know, the Trimurti? You are basically a Brahma x Shiva - Dabi said mischievously.

- I don't really believe in any gods but okay, think whatever you want. Just be silent for a bit and let me heal you finally!

Dabi somehow managed to not to speak, even if his mind was full of questions and conspiracy now, he let his boss doing his thing, what was.. really comfortable. The warmth coming from his hands were truly magical, he felt all his injuries healing - they felt like they never existed before.

That feeling was somehow familiar...

Tomura was almost done, when he noticed Dabi has a short but deep cut on his face. There was a liquid dripping out of it, and Tomura was certain it was a poison.

- Oh fuck... he mumbled.

- Sup? - Dabi asked immediately.

- You really got it rough - Tomura said a little worried - it seems to me that someone cut you with a poisoned blade. And they call themselves as "heroes", fucking ridiculous...

- Oh, I guess that was a guy with the ninja stuff - Dabi answered loosely - ladys and gens, just top hero things.

- Stop messing around, I need to deal with that - Shigaraki mumbled - the hell is that so small, I almost can't see a thing.

- Maybe just put the hand off and you will see? - Dabi suggested

- You... - Shigaraki started angrily ... but after thinking it over, the burnt man had a point. With "father" on his face he can't see the details and now he has to be punctual. He promised himself, he will save Dabi. - Ok. But fucking close your eyes and if you dare to open them I swear I will decay you at that very second.

- As you wish, my king - Dabi smiled

- Shut up!

Tomura - after seeing Dabi really closed his eyes and he is not watching him in secret, carefully took "Father" off of his face, and leaned closer to Dabis face. Firstly he carefully took off the poison and then he healed the cut itself. At the end, it looked like it was never there.

He did it, actually he did it well - he thought. He didn't exactly trust himself that much, he wasn't sure about the results, but here it was. Everything all right. So he can still do it.

He can save the people he want to.

He can save his League.

He can save Dabi..

At that very moment he suddenly felt a warm kiss on his cheek. He was so distracted he didn't notice Dabi is now all right, with his eyes opened - looking at him with an admired gaze.

Tomura instantly jumped off his bed and he felt he will die now. His words abandoned him, nothing came up his mind - he had no clue what to say.

This fucking bastard - not only he saw his face, he even dared to kiss him? How? Why?

He wanted to disintegrate him at least, and shouting his head off, but before he could do that, he felt two strong arms hugging him tightly, and when he looked up to the other man, those beautiful turquoise eyes just kept him as he was their prisoner.

- What.. are you thinking you are doing? - Tomura said but rather shyly than angrily. He wanted to free himself from the embrace of the other man, but his body wasn't obeying. He just stood there helplessly.

- I just want to thank you properly - the flame villain smiled adorably - for saving my life, and treating my injuries, well, again.

- What do you mean by again? - Tomura was quite confused right now.

But instead of an answer, he now got a longer but soft kiss on his lips.

- You know - Dabi finally spoke up - Deep down I always knew you didn't die, and that I will find you.

It's so wonderful I finally found you, Tenko!

#bnha #tomura shigaraki #shigaraki x dabi #Dabi #touya todoroki #tenko shimura #nana shimura #league of villains #shigarakiweek #shigaraki fanfiction #bnha fanfiction #mha fluff #shigadabi #shigadabi fluff

[bondsmagii]

I mean to ask this genuinely, no hostility, but can you explain how you correlate scp to being in a cult? I dont disagree, I just cant articulate the reasoning as to why I dont disagree, and would like to see where youre coming from with this. Also, could you tag it with cults or cult discussion or something similar, please? Thanks! Have a good day.

OK [cracks knuckles] I will try and keep this as short as possible, but you have to understand I’ve been observing the wiki in the wild literally since its inception, so there is a lot of stuff to consider. anyway let’s buckle up.

[EDIT: after finishing, this is obnoxiously long. sorry. I encourage people to read it though, because yikes.]

I base this theory on a set of guidelines set out for spotting if an organisation might be a cult. generally cults are religiously based; obviously this does not apply here. as far as I’m aware, nobody sees the SCP wiki as a religion (yet). because of this a couple of the points regarding spotting a cult are irrelevant (they concern things like separation from the Church which obviously doesn’t apply) but nearly all of the others (even some religious ones) can apply if we provide context. so without further ado:

Signs You’re In A Cult and How the SCP Wiki Literally Fits Into All of Them

let’s start with the most obvious:

opposing critical thinking

something that has long pissed me off about the SCP wiki has been its complete inability to think critically. staff will literally ban people for criticising them, and the parameters of “criticism” have only grown wider and wider over the years. anything that is the “party line” is sacred; nothing can be improved upon because it’s already perfect, and Staff Knows Best. any policy changes are law, and any dissenting voices are silenced – even among younger staff members (length of service wise, not age wise). I have seen staff put on probation or demoted for arguing against pointless or pedantic policy changes; I have seen people of all levels banned for arguing with staff. if this doesn’t happen right away, arguing with staff over their decisions will absolutely get a target on your back, and they will find a way to ban or demote you as soon as they can.

any criticism on the wiki is frowned upon unless it comes from the Major Staff Members – these are people at the top of the hierarchy who can do no wrong, and as you can imagine, they’ve done some shit. staff has always had a problem with elitism, bullying, and even abusive behaviour (blah blah blah #NotAllStaff, but the ratio is quite concerning) and any criticism of their behaviour or even pointing this fact out is dangerous if you want to remain on the wiki. hell, I know many people who are aware of this who don’t speak up because they’re genuinely scared of retaliation. a lot of staff are really nasty people, and because of this attitude they are beyond criticism.

isolating members and penalising them for leaving

the penalising them for leaving part isn’t strictly accurate, because as far as I know, nobody has ever been bullied or threatened into staying on the wiki. however, I do remember a while back (2011/2012-ish) when the Foundation RP community began to show up on Tumblr, and the wiki began to get a fanbase that wasn’t contained on the site itself. staff were not happy about this and to this day they still constantly try and get a monopoly on all off-site locations. they have an official Offsite Outreach Team (yes, that’s its real name) who “reach out” to communities on other platforms (YouTube, Reddit, Tumblr, etc) and set up an Official Presence there, and then they encourage everyone to use the Official Presence rather than the fan-made ones (which are often more established and better/more consistently run). there have been several off-site spats between staff and the fandom, because they arrive demanding the authority and respect they have on the wiki and get Big Mad when they don’t get it. just recently one (now ex) staff member, djkaktus, went absolutely primal on Reddit and banned a whole bunch of the community for daring to say that they didn’t like the new LGBT logo for pride month (many of these people were LGBT themselves and felt as though it was pandering/putting targets on their backs); several more years ago (2014, I believe?) I myself had a run in with the Outreach Team and it was one fucking hell of a headache that ended in a malicious smear campaign against me, so like. yeah.

as for isolating members, they do this via elitism. the above is an example of it (making everyone feel a sense of obligation or loyalty to the Official Presence), but a huge part of it has always been the elitist attitude prevalent on the wiki. the SCP wiki has high standards for writing (allegedly… I’ve seen some garbage on there tbh, same as any other website) and it uses this to bully and demean its users. criticism of writing is overly harsh but highly encouraged; anyone complaining that it was too cruel (which it often is) is ridiculed for being too sensitive. (staff have been working on this for years, but really nothing has changed; people have just gotten more between-the-lines about it.) this encourages a kind of desperation among new users to “rise up the ranks” and earn respect so they can be the ones dishing out the criticism instead; they will do so and then immediately act in accordance to their status, bullying others how they were bullied and sticking to their own “rank”. brief interruption: staff and bootlickers if you’re reading this and thinking of reblogging to defend yourself, the code word is yeet. if I do not see the word yeet in your reply I will know you have not read this thoroughly and tell me why I should then bother reading anything you have to say.staff themselves is incredibly removed and closed off from the rest of the community; they have a bunch of private chat rooms they hang out in, and inter-dating is common. they don’t tend to interact much outside the flock, and are the definition of cliquey. joining this rank is supposed to be an achievement, but really it’s probably the most dangerous place to be. I have seen so many staff members have literal, clinical mental breakdowns over the strain and treatment they suffer.

(there’s nowhere to neatly slot this in, so: I don’t know how many people have noticed this, but SCP fans, when you spot them on other platforms, are snooty. not casual fans, but those involved with the wiki? I can spot them from a mile away, because whenever the Foundation is mentioned, there they are, acting like they’re part of some cool club. some of these people are innocent (they’re just mimicking the behaviour of other members) but some of them really do seem to think that their site is somehow better than whatever site they’re on, and it’s really creepy to see.)

emphasising special doctrines outside of scripture

obviously this is religion-specific, but with context it can fit. if we take scripture to mean SCP lore, and special doctrines to mean differing headcanons, ideas, writing styles, etc… oh boy.

there’s something that’s often said on the wiki: there is no canon. buddy, there is. yes, you can write whatever you want technically, and you can disregard headcanons you don’t like and you can build on different things and theoretically people can just ignore your shit if they don’t like it, but that is not what happens. there is absolutely a canon, and deviating from it will get you downvoted into oblivion and even personally attacked. people will accuse you of the most ridiculous shit, like desecrating the wiki or betraying the universe or whatever. so where does the emphasising part of this come in?

why, it’s simple! if one of these special doctrines (headcanons or whatever) comes from staff or an Approved Member, it’s fine. go nuts. even if it’s something that anybody else would be absolutely slaughtered for, it’s fine if staff approves. there is no creative freedom on that wiki, and anyone attempting to carve a piece out for themselves will suffer for it. one of my close friends still gets hate for an SCP he wrote featuring heavy headcanons and building on existing lore about a well-known character, and some of this hate is because he didn’t set the fucking article out “how it should be”. 

seeking inappropriate loyalty to their leaders

oh boy. staff are god on that website. they’ll deny it, but they know it’s true. many of them are arrogant and, in my opinion, some of them are pathologically narcissistic. they think they are hot shit, and they encourage people on the site to believe the same. a huge majority of users on the wiki are high school students, so 15-18 years old. the next huge group are college-aged, so 19-22 or so. several staff members are in their mid-20s up to 30s, maybe even coming 40s or early 40s now. when you’re in your mid-20s, it’s very easy to look cool to a 15-year-old. it’s very easy to look at a young userbase and convince them that you’re hot shit, and that’s what staff do. they act like it; most users respond to it, and if anyone dissents? see point one.

staff have always had double standards. from the very beginning of staff, they have gotten away with a lot more than the average user. staff have been allowed to bully, ridicule, harass, dismiss, shit upon, and target people with reckless abandon, usually only meeting punishment when other staff members feel too inconvenienced by them. a lot of the time when they’re punished, it’s a lot lighter than it would have been for an average user (a month ban rather than a permaban, for example). this is seen as almost a point of hilarity for a lot of people, who think it’s cool and just a right you get when you’re staff. you know best, you’ve seen some shit – who can blame you for slamdunking a 15-year-old’s first SCP?

the amount of respect and adoration these people demand is ridiculous, and anybody daring to criticise them ends up on a shitlist. staff show up in other areas (Tumblr or Reddit) and expect that same amount of respect, even among people outside of the wiki who might just be casual fans. they act a lot more important than they are, and demand that everyone treats them appropriately. I’ve seen staff members throw shitfits because they didn’t get enough upvotes for their articles, and many staff members’ quality of work declines when they make staff, simply because they know that they’ll get easy upvotes as soon as people realise it’s a staff member who wrote it. downvotes are enough to get you put on a shitlist. 

publicly, their word is law. you are not allowed to debate with them in the forums if they put a “stop” on the topic; the same applies in the IRC chat. if staff says “stop”, you will be punished if you mention it again. you are allowed to discuss it with them privately, but I think that’s rather insidious, as staff have been known to twist facts and withhold information before. this gives them a public persona of always being right – and something else that cults do is silence dissenting voices so nobody who might agree can see other people saying the same things and feel encouraged/emboldened. 

crossing Biblical boundaries of behaviour

again, we’ll need to contextualise this. if Biblical boundaries are things like sins and all the stuff the Bible says Do Not Do, then in this context these are the wiki rules. staff (and their friends) will constantly cross the rules, as previously mentioned, and they will get away with it.

the wiki rules say “don’t be a dick”. I have caught staff bullying people countless times, and no doubt there’s more I haven’t caught. even out in the open, staff are argumentative, dismissive, rude, intimidating, and oftentimes plain nasty. the wiki rules say “don’t coldpost articles; get feedback”. staff is just out there throwing their shit onto the wiki and expecting an avalanche of upvotes in five minutes Or Else. policies are made that set parameters and staff changes them whenever convenient – for example, the long-standing rule that things that occur off-site are not the responsibility of the Disciplinary Committee (yes, its name.). unless, of course, it’s someone they don’t like. a major staff member bullies somebody on Tumblr? “sorry, it was offsite, not our problem”. someone staff doesn’t like gets into a brief spat on Reddit? banned for harassment. 

there are countless examples of this, from small things to major things like bullying, harassment, and even abuse (or enabling of abuse). staff will punish people for transgressions and then turn a blind eye to a fellow staff member committing a transgression that was ten times worse. they have even protected rapists and sexual predators in the past – another kind of behaviour common in cults, because that’s what happens when you combine narcissism and entitlement with total authority.

that’s the main bulk of it

but now the context has been established, here are a few more concerning things I’ve noticed (quickfire now):

cults shit on former members

and the wiki does the same. any staff member that’s grown fed up of the groupthink and the cliquey attitude and how nasty people are or who has been mistreated by staff themselves; any regular user who feels the same and vocally quits? shat upon. lauded as a bastion of whatever is wrong with the wiki. declared an Enemy and rallied against. it is so creepy.

cults use Us vs Them mentality, especially in language

broad declarations establishing a community and a community spirit in the face of adversity are common in cults. appeals to emotion and loyalty are used in a very manipulative way. catastrophising and fearmongering is common, too. I’m seeing this in how the recent drama with the legal issues is being handled. broad appeals to “defend the wiki”, hashtags being encouraged, emotional speeches from staff about how it’s a make or break situation… 

…and this is being reflected in the absolutely insane comments people are responding with.

this is a fucking writing website. the above is not a normal reaction at all.

the attitudes of regular users quickly grow concerning

people very quickly get obsessed with the wiki and it defines their lives. they seem to feel as though they owe something to it or they need to serve some kind of a purpose; many people try and “get the word out” and become voluntary spokespeople. they go around practically preaching, and I do not see the users of any other website doing this.

cults want full control over how they’re seen by outsiders

and the scp wiki does the same. as mentioned previously, when the fandom grew and spiralled off the wiki to other sites, staff debated for weeks over what to do. brief interruption the second code is shrek is life.they were not comfortable with the idea of the wiki having an independent fandom, and for years now they have been in constant struggle with offsite communities, trying to gain the same amount of control they have over the wiki. it’s impossible to do so thoroughly, and it’s clearly an annoyance for them.

cult leaders will let “lesser” members do their dirty work for them

and guess what staff does? rather than wade in there and get their hands dirty with internet arguments, they’ll sit back and let regular users dogpile on dissenters and say all the things staff shouldn’t be seen to say in public. note how even if this would violate the bullying policies, they’ll just get a warning so long as staff agrees. 

in conclusion

@ everyone on the scp wiki: yall know you’re in a cult, right?

#scp shenanigans #scp foundation #cult discussion #long post #like LONG post #anon #asks

[postinblue]

ABOUT SUICIDE | an honest text

Well, first of all, you must known that I am a nihilist: “ Nihilism (/ˈnaɪ(h)ɪlɪzəm, ˈniː-/; from Latin nihil, meaning 'nothing') is the philosophical viewpoint that suggests the denial or lack of belief toward the reputedly meaningful aspects of life. Most commonly, nihilism is presented in the form of existential nihilism, which argues that life is without objective meaning, purpose, or intrinsic value.[1]Moral nihilists assert that there is no inherent morality, and that accepted moral values are abstractly contrived. Nihilism may also take epistemological, ontological, or metaphysical forms, meaning respectively that, in some aspect, knowledge is not possible, or reality does not actually exist.

Existential nihilism is the belief that life has no intrinsic meaning or value. With respect to the universe, existential nihilism posits that a single human or even the entire human species is insignificant, without purpose and unlikely to change in the totality of existence. The meaninglessness of life is largely explored in the philosophical school of existentialism.”

So, basicaly, in my point of view, the simple fact that we EXIST is pointless and its main goal is to make us suffer. Like, we are in the BAD PLACE all the time. A lot of people can deal with this with positivity and hope. Not me. I don’t think the humankind has done any favor to our planet, and definitevely Earth would be doing much better without us.

With all that explained, my personal opnion is that living is not that great. Our experience thru life does not justify the impact of our own existence in this planet, and all the damage we caused. I know that must be a lot of people with a most positive thoughts about that and they probably will disagree with me and try to sell me some of the bullshit they believe.

Like, I don’t want to sound like another atheist cliché, but if there is a god, any god, he or she or they must have a REALLY GOOD EXPLANATION to what the fuck is happing to the world.

But I really dont want to be here.

Is like that phrase from Lana Del Rey: “Everything is fine, but I wish I was dead.”

I am a sucidal person, that means that I think about killing myself 24/7; which bring us to the main point of this text: If I still here, it is not because I bought that shit about the miracle of life or got touch by any religion. The only fucking reason I insist is because of people that love me and the fucking guilty i will feel if I make them sad.

Wich is probably one of the most altruistics feelings in the world, since we are clearly caring more about their happiness than ours. And the fucked up part is that we have to keep going with our lifes, even though we are taking four different pills just to sleep, and deal with our paranoias, loneliness, anxiety and depression, barely holding on, just to not make other person sad. So don’t you fucking dare to call us selfish, when you are the one to earn this crown. You care MORE about how much you will miss us, than with our actually mental health.

And unless you know how to cure cancer, end the social inequality, racism, homophobia and sexism you are as dipensable as me.

So fuck you. I should be allowed to quit life wherever I want to.

Ps: English is not my mother language, and I wrote this text during a burst of rage, so never mind my grammar mistakes bla bla bla.

#suicide #mental health #anxiety #depression #actually bpd #bpd

[sigurdjarlson]

-clears throat- i got up on my soap box again. It’s just me bitching about self righteous assholes in fandom (tw: abuse, rape, other triggering issues) 

honestly at this point i’ve been in fandoms so long i legit dont give a fuck what other people ship. if i don’t like it i ignore it. if it makes me uncomfortable i take measures to avoid it. i don’t message people and tell them to go kill themselves over fictional characters. please get professional help if you do

nor is it my responsibility to cater to you if you blatantly choose to look at things that upset you. I’m not your mother. You have to take responsibility for your own internet experience. 

I read a fic that fucked with my head the other day. I didn’t know it would but it did. It put me in a bad headspace. It reminded me of some traumatic shit. Did I go ham on the creator because how dare they write something that upset me? Nah. It’s not their fault. They had all the proper trigger warnings in place. It just happened to hit a sore spot with me because of my own personal experiences which I recognize are very different from everyone else’s. 

sigh

the older i get the less i care because i realize it really does not matter what people like in fiction. Some of the best, kindest people I’ve met on this website ship horrifying ships, have some fucked up kinks or enjoy problematic characters. And some of the worst people I’ve met only ship ~pure ships~ and only love ~pure cinnamon rolls uwu~ or whatever. 

It’s fiction. It has no reflection on what someone is like as a person. How you treat other people however DOES. 

I could go on about how people use “discourse” as an excuse to bully people they disagree with but honestly a lot of people have said it much more eloquently than I. 

Just..tag your shit so people can avoid it (especially content like non-con and such). Be kind to each other. Take responsibility for your own internet experience. Create your own safe space because no one can do that for you. Nor should they have to. 

Fandom becomes a lot more fun when you do those things. And that’’s what it’s supposed to be. FUN.

just because someone wants to get fucked by a tentacle monster in fiction doesn’t mean they’re going to shove an octopus up their asshole.

ALSO if you think people have to tell you about their traumatic experience to justify shipping or enjoying something...you can go right to hell. You don’t care about survivors because if you did you wouldn’’t force them to reveal very personal info about themselves to avoid being harassed and bullied. You’re using survivors to further your bullshit moral crusade that makes you feel better about yourself and I want no part in it. 

Also you don’t speak for all survivors even if you are one yourself. I’m one myself and I don’t speak for all survivors. 

My personal opinion? You don’t need to be a survivor to be allowed to enjoy problematic things. It’s fiction. God damn. 

It reminds me of fatphobes try to claim they care about a person’s health when in reality they’re just using they facade of concern as an excuse to bully and abuse people they don’t like. 

Someone’s trauma is none of your business. what they enjoy is none of your business. 

If someone goes and does something they read about in fan fic they already had serious problems to begin with. 

Also frankly the belief that fiction causes people to do bad things actually takes the responsibility off the person. “Fiction with abusive relationships makes people abusive” no...abusive people make the choice to abuse other people. Don’t you dare take the responsibility off of them. I want none of that.

Abuse, rape, sexual abuse, murder, etc are all CHOICES people make. A fanfic they read once didn’t turn them into a monster. They already were one. This was already a desire they had.

And yes people can enjoy bad things in fiction and not want to do those things in real life. They can be and often are disgusted by those things in real life. They have a healthy distinction between fiction and reality. 

Also frankly I’m insulted by the idea that I’m going to think something is okay cuz I read a fic about it. “People will think it’s okay to be abused” woah woah wait? First you take the responsibility away from the abusers..and then you blame the victim. what you’re really saying is t’s ultimately their fault because they didn’t understand it was abuse? Many abuse victims don’t know it was abuse at first. That does not make it their fault.and it has nothing to do with that fic they read 5 years ago. 

Go on and on about how fiction reinforces social norms..I could argue it doesn’t and its more of a lens in which we can see problems that are already there.

Rape culture is rampant in fiction? It it because it is in society. The fiction did not cause rape culture. “It normalizes it.” it’s already normalized and frankly yes be critical of it but I’d advise you to focus and target the root of the problem instead of the symptoms. 

People exploring these themes and being fully aware these things aren’t acceptable in real life are not the problem. People who believe those things are okay are the problem

also

Real people are more important than fictional ones.

If anti’s put half the energy they put into harassing people on the internet into actually helping the real people they claim to care about they could do a lot of good. But whatever keep on jacking off to your belief you’re morally superior because you don’t ship reyl0 or whatever ship is the target of anti’s now days.

Which goes to show it is not about the issues they claim it’s about. It’s not about abuse apologism or rape apologism. It’s about some very sad, pathetic individual using important issues to stroke their ego and make themselves appear to be the most visibly enlightened or whatever. It’s about the people that pat them on the back and tell them they’re great! They’re good for doing this!! It’s all about ego. 

Sure some people might simply be misguided and have good intentions. Maybe they really believe they’re rooting out the fandom boogyman or whatever. But the real anti’s? They don’t give a flying fuck about survivors. 

So yeah I don’t give a shit what you get off too. I don’t give a shit what you ship. I might not like it but that’s my personal preference and it means nothing beyond that.  

Fan fiction has very little effect on society as a whole anyway. Maybe try focusing on media that actually does? Like television or big blockbuster films? 

Honestly fanfic is actually arguably more aware than any other form of media. With some exceptions..there are proper trigger warnings in place. People freely say “yeah this is terrible and i would never condone it in real life” and that already makes it far less harmful than something like 50 shades of grey. 

However I know I’m tired of having to repeat that disclaimer over and over again. It’s so annoying. It should be a give in. Stop assuming that because someone likes something they would support it in real life.

I want to see Negan and Rick fuck. Am I beating people in the head with a baseball bat? No. Do I think they kind of behavior is acceptable? Fuck no. Do I find the dynamic interesting? Yes. Hot even? Yeah because it’s fictional and it is perfectly okay to explore dark themes in fiction. Would I feel that way if I saw a dynamic like that in real life? Hell no. You best believe I’m going to be disgusted and contact the proper authorities. 

There is a huge difference between fiction and reality. Something anti’s don’t seem to understand. It would just be annoying if it wasn’t so harmful. When you start telling people to kill themselves, trying to ruin their lives with faux accusations, whatever. You become a horrible person. You become that terrible person you say you’re protecting everyone from. 

Just...enjoy what you enjoy. Tag your shit so people can avoid it. Block what you don’t like and have fun for fuck’s sake. Respect and be kind to one another. Take all that moral righteousness and channel it into something that actually helps people instead of actively harming them. 

Someone writing about something that upsets you, unless sent directly to you, is not a personal attack. People don’t have to stop writing about something just because you don’t like it. Different strokes for different folks and all that. Everyone has had different experiences in life and are effected by things differently. 

#nerd ramblings

[5hfanfiction]

Too Close To Home - Chapter 5.5

LAUREN’S POV

I march aggressive to my car, still fuming from our blowup moments before. This is probably the most heated fight I’ve had in a very long time. The fight I had with Lucy just hours ago were mostly emotional. There wasn’t any screaming and shouting, there were only tears and broken speeches. It wasn’t based on irrationality and grudges like what I had with Camila.

I know I was the one in the wrong, but I couldn’t help it. Her constant interruptions and accusations were just too much. I’m an expressive person and I don’t like to get disturbed when I’m talking. That’s probably why she did it. Camila knew how to push my buttons.

It was long overdue though. I can tell that she has kept it for so long. She was never one to express feelings. I know she doesn’t go to the girls. If they knew about how we broke up, I don’t think they would’ve talked to me. I didn’t say anything to them either. But I had Lucy, who did she have?

I didn’t plan on screaming at her. I just don’t understand how she expects me to justify myself when she doesn’t even let me talk for more than two sentences. She spits more and more hateful words that I couldn’t handle but fight back.

And how dare she question my love for her. I thought she knew me better than that. I guess not.

I hugged her because I missed her. I saw the way she looked at me when Lucy and I walked on the aisle inside the stadium. I saw hurt and all I wanted was to hug her. So I did. Jut not in front of Lucy.

I think back about our petty argument, recalling every word I said.

“Fuck!” I screamed, kicking my car’s tire, only to regret moments later when it collided. My foot is throbbing from the aftermath.

The fuck did I just do? I was pissed of her constantly accusing that caused me to blindly say things I clearly don’t mean. Anger blocked logic and reasoning, so I couldn’t help but feel the need to hurt her back.

I wanted to be friends, not cause more disputes. I wanted to bring her here because this was the place we used to go to, it could remind her of our friendship. We also never fought here, not like most places.

But I guess I can’t say that now.

I wanted her help to find Lucy because then, Lucy could see that nothing is going on between us. It made sense in my head, hang with Camila and prove Lucy wrong. I thought it was full proof.

Lucy and I fought because of what she witnessed when Camila performed on the AMAs. She saw that Camila was staring at me. She also saw me staring at her. What ticked her off though was the fact that she could see that neither of us has moved on, or at least that’s what she said.

I couldn’t disagree more. I’m engaged to her for gods sakes. What screams moving on than being engaged to another girl? And besides, I don’t think Camila would want me anymore after what I did to her.

I know we got engaged pretty early. We started dating back in April last year and got engaged in January this year. But I didn’t care, I’ve known her since we were kids. We cut the part where we get to know each other, I know I can trust her.

The fight we had was intense, but it wasn’t as intense as what I had with Camila. We argued like old adults, sitting on a couch and talking with a right mind, not clouded by irrationality.

After we talked about what she saw for an hour or two, we knew that we were getting nowhere because she was determined in believing at what she saw, we then decided to sleep it off first.

But by 12am, I didn’t feel the usual warmth and it caused me to wake up on an empty bed. The first thing that came through my mind was to call Camila, she could help me.

That clearly didn’t go well.

So now, I thought of what to do next, contemplating whether I should go search for Lucy or go back to Camila.

I decided to go back to Camila, knowing that even if I search for Lucy, the possibility of me actually finding her is few to none.

But the hope of making amends with Camila was crushed when I saw her crying. Her whimpers and sobs piercing through my ear, the sound making my heart physically constrict in pain.

I caused that. And this is only one of the many fights we’ve had, imagine her crying like this every time we fought.

When we fought years back, I was always the one who leaves first. I can only think about what she did alone after I left her.

I just look at her, my feet glued to the floor, legs unwilling to cooperate. I’m quite far so she couldn’t really see me. Besides, she has her head down on her knees.

She looks so vulnerable. She has cried in front of me, but never when we fight. The amount of energy Camila has to hold to not cry must’ve been hard, I’m amazed. People say crying makes you look weak, but all I can see is how strong she is right now.

She had once said that pain is a monster fed by fear. What I didn’t get is that if she had told people to not hold back when in pain, why has she kept her emotions hidden? Why did she feed it and let it grow legs?

God, why the hell did I say I regretted it? I didn’t. Well, maybe a little, but only because of how costly it was. She was my best friend. I used to talk to her about everything. And relationship ruined it. But I never regretted kissing her. I never regretted falling for her. I never regretted anything I did with her.

So here I am, with tears falling down silently, looking at my ex crying. I couldn’t move, it feels like my heart wants this. It wants to be broken.

—

“Lauren, why do you have to go to Lucy every time we get a break?” she says as she comes into the dressing room.

We just finished our rehearsal for our performance soon. I was changing because I was too tired and got excused. The other girls were still outside.

“What do you mean?” I ask, knowing that this would lead to yet another disagreement.

“Like, we had a break a few days ago, you hung out with Lucy instead of me. It’s like you don’t hang with me anymore. You always go to Lucy.”

“Are you kidding me right now?! She’s my best friend.” My voice weren’t loud but it was full of hostility.

“I understand that part. But what I don’t understand is the excessive visitation and the late night calls. It feels like you’d rather hang with her than with me.”

“SHES MY FUCKING BESTFRIEND, CAMILA!!!” Okay yeah, so much for trying to keep my voice low.

“YEAH, AND IM YOUR GIRLFRIEND. I DONT MIND YOU BEING WITH HER, I JUST FEEL LIKE IM NOT YOUR PERSON ANYMORE!” She shouts now, her face red. It just made me more enraged. I knew what to say that could hurt her.

“Well, maybe because it’s true.” I smirk, my voice low but I know how those words could cut her. She’s being unreasonable right now.

She stares at me, her anger depleting, making me regret for saying it. Her expression changes from pissed to sadness.

“It is?” her voice broke when she said it, looking down on the floor. She doesn’t usually get sad when we fight. But even if she’s sad, she doesn’t cry, she just looks broken.

“No, Camz.” My pride broke, my voice was now soft. I walk to her, my hand on her cheeks when we were at arms length. I tilt her head up so that she can see how truly sorry I am. After all, eyes are the windows to the soul. “I’m sorry, I was just pissed that you’re saying that I couldn’t hang with Lucy.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“In a way you did. I don’t wanna be controlled, you know that. I don’t want to be stuck, being unable to express myself. She’s my bestfriend, you’re my girlfriend. You’re still my person. But I need to hang with her too, we see each other everyday Camz, Lucy and I barely have time to hang. That’s why we do it whenever we have time. I’m not choosing her instead of you. I just can’t lose her.”

Camila smiles weakly, she looked like she wanted to say more. But she dismissed it by shaking her head.

I didn’t want to fight anymore so I didn’t ask.

This is actually one of the most short fights we’ve had. And we even resolved it on the spot. But I couldn’t say the same for the ones after this.

—

I look at her for a few minutes more. But I know that I couldn’t stay here, I don’t want her to know that I’ve seen her cry. She would hide it more.

I decided to wait in the car. Even if I can’t see her, I need to know that she’s okay.

When the sun begin to rise, I see her walking to the parking lot. She had her phone on her ear. Who is she calling at this hour?

A car came and she went in, still calling that person on the other end of the receiver.

…

Wattpad

#UPDATE #series #non AU #camren #submission #Too Close To Home

[rainbowjigsaw]

Ok, this is not something I normally do on here

...but I need to say something, something that’s probably been said a million times before but I wanna vent it out anyway.

My dad and I are similar in many ways - mannerisms, facial features, strong opinions, voice inflection. What we do not have in common, which makes our relationship endlessly frustrating and emotionally exhausting is our thoughts and beliefs about culture and politics.

I came home today and somehow we got into a conversation about political correctness (because that’s the most charged subject between himself and the so called lazy 20-something generation he sees slowly ruining this world). He says that he sees a lot of inclusiveness in commercials these days, ads on tv that are increasingly targeted toward certain demographics. I shared that we lived in a diverse world and how much I like seeing everyone being represented, not just a particular group. He feels that certain things are a bit overkill when it comes to representation. And you know what? I’ll give that one to him, not because I agree but because there’s so much information these days that it can get exhausting to process, and change is intimidating for older generations.

(I preface this next part in saying that I am a white, middle class woman in her twenties. I don’t pretend to know or be expert on these subjects coming up, and if there is anything I say that offends or seems misinformed I’m happy to have a discussion and learn how to correct my errors so that I may be a more educated, open minded person.)

So, the subject drops very briefly, only for him to make the comment that “white people are more hated now than ever before” and takes offense to a comment a Facebook friend of his made about the easy conviction a white male rapist got (I think only 7-8 months prison time for multiple counts of sexual assault/rape). Now at this point he’s on such a roll that I can barely get a word in edge wise, so anything I say doesn’t register with him. He then goes on to say that the phrase “white male” attached to anything derogatory bothers him, because he’s a white male. And that he doesn’t believe in white privilege one bit.

Now here I have to stop myself from letting my emotions out, because I’m well past my reasonable, empathetic listening self at this point. Because I want to explode and tell him so many things.

. About how the beauty of white privilege is that YOU DONT SEE IT, that’s why it’s called PRIVILEGE, your NOT seeing it is the whole point. How all this focus on skin color is significant, because it points out how people are different rather than how they’re the same, when the experiences of other races, genders, sexualities, ethnicities are NOT universally experienced (especially not in the ways that WHITE PEOPLE, the dominant perspective for HUNDREDS OF YEARS, have experienced the world). How those different experiences, the good and horrific, are worth exploring and pointing out BECAUSE they’re so unique to groups of people who’ve been silenced. How the dominant white narrative has erased the stories of incredible people, how people in power always have the same old white faces. How he can state these opinions, not letting me get in a word because as a man he was brought up to believe that his voice needed to be heard over everyone’s, ESPECIALLY OVER A FEMALES (cis, transgender, other categories considered to be female). And how I as a woman was socialized to clamp my tongue and let him do that, because god forbid I interrupt not only a man, but the main male figure in my life who held authority over me as I grew up.

I in no way have exhausted the list of absurdities I could have pointed out in his argument, or the perspectives of groups of people that I have no right to preach for because I haven’t experienced what they have. It’s just not my place. But to imply that those groups of people have been given the same experiences and opportunities that my father, a 54 year old white man, has been given, is so profoundly ignorant and insensitive to other groups of people who have fought for rights he’s had handed to him. without any awareness that these rights and privileges are things so many people have to EARN and FIGHT FOR every fucking day of their lives.

How can a person live in todays world and not see evidence of this everywhere? I don’t believe that you can be so ignorant anymore. I just don’t.

All of this was racing through my head in the 2 or 3 minutes he was jabbering on about how persecuted 🙄 white men are. And I didn’t even have the energy to argue back with him.

Because I’m tired. Tired of trying to discuss topics with him, only to be shut down. So I started walking away to my room, saying that this was making me angry and I didn’t want to continue the conversation.

He then asks me why I’m angry. And I just about explode. How could I be angry? How could anyone dare to disagree with him, to have an opposing opinion?

So I just pointed out that he wasn’t letting me speak anyway (which he noncommittally nodded and made a noise to, as if I were endorsing and accepting this behavior - he had a fucked up male role model as a father and his comments toward and views of women are atrocious - but that’s a topic for another word vomit post). I also simply stated that I just don’t agree with these comments, that they’re very important to me and that I just don’t have it in me to argue with him.

Because I’m so tired. Tired of everything in this world being a fight for who’s right and who’s dead wrong. I’m tired of feeling like I don’t do enough talking about these topics, because I’m bombarded with so much horror and hatred from idiot presidents and corrupt public figures that I don’t have the emotional energy to articulate how I feel anymore.

I don’t know, maybe the not talking about our problem in today’s society is how we ended up in this shitstorm to begin with. Maybe I’m being an inactive voice in a world where voices of all kinds are being heard more and more.

But I just don’t have it in me to be a part of that fight. Not at this moment in our history.

Anyways, if you’ve actually taken the time to read this, I commend and appreciate you. I don’t even know how I’d summarize this crazy shit, but I knew I needed to put it out there. I hope to god I’m not alone in these exhausting times.