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simluvbot · 3 years

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Sunghoon as your boyfriend

a/n: as usual with these bf headcanons, im sorry it was so messy TT also thank you so so much for over 100 followers !! <33

open to read <3

tbh it got to a point where literally everyone but you two knew that you were crushing on each other..

Sunghoon can very oblivious sometimes, and so can you

tbh it was literally until jake had to spell out to sunghoon how he obviously had a crush on you which is what prompted him to actively make moves on you (lmao)

And, sooner or later, you both ended up dating :D

Sunghoon is be pretty awkward early on in the relationship so it’s just so so precious ):

so every small moment of skinship between you both has butterflies instantly swarming in your stomachs and your cheeks heating up like crazy ):

And sunghoon will think about it for ages in his bed later at nighttime, replaying the moment you took his hand in yours and interlocked your fingers with his

He’d think about how soft your hands felt in his hold and how fuzzy the feeling made him feel, and sunghoon isn’t one to freak out easily but gee the butterflies you made him feel (he will never tell you about that though)

Many late night dates!

I say this for literally every enhypen member but to me this concept just fits so well with all of them

Sunghoon likes going on late night walks with you in private (and safe!) parks where he knows that you two will be completely alone

He loves walking around with you for hours, chatting away about random weird topics and sharing shy eye contact with each other

Or he will also like to lay down on the grass with you, backs on the plush ground and stargazing together 💔

He’ll admire your side profile and smile at your awed expression as you stare up at the stars, thinking about how pretty you look under the moonlight

But then when you turn to face him he’ll look away and pretend he was never looking in the first place🙄

To me sunghoon seems the type to silently appreciate you and the small moments he shares with you.

You could be sitting across from him eating messily while ranting about your day and he’ll simply nod, barely listening and instead watching the way your moth moves and how prettily your lips create shapes as you talk

Or you could be simply doing nothing at all, instead laying on the sofa on your phone and he’ll look up from his own now and then, quietly reflecting and feeling thankful for how you’re in his life

In public he is very much the silent observer! but not in a creepy way, it’s all loving of course, especially since hoon has said before that he’s not the best with expressing his words and feelings

So he instead shows his love and appreciation to you through small acts of service and gifts!

It’s small things that he does for you, such as tying your shoelaces for you, pulling you onto his other side when you’re asking along a busy road so he is the one one the road side instead or buying what he knows is your favourite snack to surprise you with!

I think that he will also ask jay for tips on what to cook for you hehe. He likes to surprise you and pls I just see him standing wearing an apron as he tries to follow the recipe jay gave him so he can make you your favourite food for you to eat the next day )):

Many cafe dates!!

Have you seen that picture of him sipping from a drink as he sits at a cafe table?? yeAH WELL

takes you out to his favourite cafes all the time 😁😁

going on the lookout for best cafés on your dates is YOUR THING i see it

Sunghoon honestly treasures you so much and although he doesn’t express it in words often, he really thinks about you a lot ): so many little things remind him of you its ridiculous.

he’ll see something and go like “oh!” which confuses the other members but its just because he saw something that made him think of you lol

He is comfortable enough with you to be vulnerable in front of you!

At first when you both started dating he was reallyyyy shy since he is an introvert.. but ofc soon the ice boy melted and he eventually became so much more comfy around you :D

so yes park sunghoon does share a lot of his weird thoughts and personality with you lmao

but its just bc he trusts you and knows that you wont judge him ):<

Takes you on ice skating dates where he teaches you how to skate

Will come up with a simple routine with you

I’m gonna cry I’m gonna pass out I can’t take this I’m tearing up TAKE MY PHONE AWAY FROM NE AT THIS

he will come up with ): simple ice skating routines with you ): where he spins you around and holds both your hands steadily as he skates backward and guides you forward, making breathless eye contact while he rests his forehead against yours, smiling softly

🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️

although when you do end up falling he laughs 🙄 he is so rude i stg

but he then helps you back up of course, holding your gloved hands in his softly since they took the most impact of ur fall

he’ll massage them gently in his, concerned and telling you to be more careful next time and showing you how to regain your balance when you feel yourself slipping.

“aha like you will even need to use that technique anyways y/n because your ice prince will save you from falling.”

sighs. anyways

Whenever he catches you staring at him (which is 99% of the time when you’re with him because well, duh), he will the hELL out of you lmao

He teases you pretty often anyways

“If you’re just going to continue staring at me this whole time then just take a photo instead y/n, it lasts longer you know 😐.”

“I know I’m handsome y/n. Instead of making it so obvious with your googly eyes then don’t be afraid to say it too. I don’t bite 🙂👎.”

Is so proud of himself whenever he gets you flustered at his comments because as much as it embarrasses you, what he says is true </3 and you don’t deny it

But then when YOU tell him how attractive he is in a teasing way it’s HIM that starts blushing LMFAO

“The view is so pretty.” You said, sighing out as you stood next to sunghoon on the top floor balcony.

“Yeah, Seoul is so beautiful.” Your boyfriend commented, nodding as he looked down at the blinking lights from down below.

Frowning, you tilted your head as you stared at him. “Oh, I wasn’t talking about that.”

Looking up, sunghoon looked at you in confusion. “What do you mean then?”

“I meant the view is so pretty. You’re the view.”

Gets so flustered PLSJDKSJS he looked away from you and ignored you for the next 5 minutes while he tried to compose himself and pretend like he was not affected by what you said

You simply laughed at how red his ears had become and how he ignored your teasing remarks indifferently when he was actually dying inside at what you said

Or other times when you compliment him he will be really smug about it too lmao

He values your opinion, even if it’s something about the new jacket he wore and how it looks nice on him

You bet he will wear that jacket 372837 more files after that and uploaded it on Twitter for engenes too (;

All because you complimented him once

It gets to the point where jay and jungwon tease him about why he is constantly wearing the same thing every day and whether it’s something to do with you LMAO

boy gets so shy 😭😭😭

Sunghoon likes it when you run your hands though his hair ): especially at the back of his head where you tug at his strange gently, especially since his hair is pretty long rn

It’s so soothing to him to feel your nails gently rake through his mullet and massage his scalp, it instantly makes his eyes shut and sleepiness take over.

I feel like sunghoon isn’t that big on cuddles? But when you both sleep together he always pulls you in closer to him subconsciously ):

Head pats from sunghoon ✔️

Kisses with sunghoon!

When you both first started dating you had to initiate everything and he would get so flustered after

But after you had been dating sunghoon for a while and you kiss, he’ll do this thing where he looks at you with lidded eyes and stares at your lips and he kNOWS how good he looks when he does that

Such a tease..

Will cup the back of your neck and bring you in

his hands gently roam around your waist or place themselves onto your back to hold you close to him

Kisses with sunghoon are usually pretty slow and can last a while, so you’re always left feeling breathless when you finally pull apart

Nibbles your lips to tease you hehe

He doesn’t really give you short kisses apart from when he’s feeling bursts of happiness and really excited about something! Or when he wants to thank you

Also Hoon likes to also keep your scrunchie on his wrist if you wear any

Idk, he just likes it [:

Hoon also likes to take many pretty photos with you too, it’s so aesthetic TT

Kisses your forehead whenever he says bye to you on his way to complete his schedule for the day 🥺

Shows Jake and jay pictures of you all the time lol

The 02z definitely don’t miss the blush on his cheeks whenever he tells them about how cute you are 🙄

Sunghoon cutest bf ): he doesn’t reall like to show affection for you in front of other people but when y’all are alone?

Phew, the boy might be an ice prince but whenever he is around you.. let’s say that perhaps you seem to melt him a lil bit (:

#enhypenwriters #enhypen headcanons #enhypen sunghoon #enhypen scenarios #sunghoon headcannons #sunghoon imagines #enhypen reactions #enhypen requests #kpop imagines #kpop headcanons #enhypen imagines

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famedroleplayarchive · 3 years

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As promised, here’s an admin update post. This addresses several topics you all probably knew were coming and might have been waiting for the answers on, as well as some other topics, additions, and changes! Please take your time to read this thoroughly, and thanks again for four years of Famed! There’s a lot here, so take your time reading it.

URL change

The main blog’s URL has changed to famedroleplay. Some links are still being updated, but if you notice anything still links back incorrectly after a week or so, please do let me know!

Faceclaims

After hearing out the opinion of everyone who shared theirs regarding banning faceclaims involved in bullying scandals and taking that into consideration, face claims will be banned if they are linked to outside crimes or severe such as sexual assault, molka, or bullying in connection to suicide / suicide attempts. This means the initial ban on actor Kim Jisoo and April members Kim Chaewon, Lee Naeun, Yang Yena, Lee Jinsol, and and ex-member Jeon Somin remain in tact.

Bullying allegations not linked to these outside factors will still be grounds for someone to be allowed to ask to change a faceclaim before their faceclaim change waiting period is up, though, if they are uncomfortable continuing to use a faceclaim because of bullying allegations. If a faceclaim leaves the industry and/or removes themselves from the public eye for the foreseeable future for any reason, they are also still unusable, but this rule was already in place.

As for how this will affect parts of the roleplay other than faceclaims, please see the section further down about Element. Two April songs (”Oh My Mistake!” and “Love Clock”) were previously used for the first season of base’s COLLA3ORATE. These will be retroactively replaced with Elris’s “Jackpot” and “Like I Do” respectively, but if you had a muse involved in “Oh My Mistake” and would prefer to remove them from COLLA3ORATE season one entirely, just message me and they will be removed. I assigned the lines trying to match the positions and line distributions up similarly, but if your muse was involved and you’d like to keep them in “Jackpot” but want to switch to an untaken position, you’re welcome to request that as well. Otherwise, any references to that can simply use those songs instead now.

Element update

Due to the recent allegations involving Somin, a major revamp of Element has had to be conducted. After discussing the situation with the current muns of the group, the past model discography of Element has been replaced using Checkmate, K-Tigers Zero, and Lucky J, and they will be making their final comeback on April 12. After those promotions end, Element will be disbanded and the members will re-debut later in the year in a boy group, Quicksilver, with model groups of Ateez and Treasure and a girl group, Marigold, with model groups of BVNDIT and Melody Day with two new members each. The Element spots have been reopened, but the new positions in the new groups won’t be opened until after Element have finished promoting. This will be a major plotline for the roleplay and Gold Star in particular so expect to see it brought up in schedules and in some articles on the Exclusive blog as the storyline unfolds.

The new debuts in Quicksilver and Marigold will be available on May 13.

Fuse’s model discography update

Thanks to everyone’s suggestions, I was able to find two groups to add to Fuse’s model discography that I felt could align with their sound, direction, storyline, and positions enough to be happy with for now. These groups are Cherry Bullet and Weki Meki. The updated line distribution can be found on Fuse’s page.

There are other groups I’m looking into adding onto the model discographies of, but Fuse was the most urgent, so they’re the only official update I have today!

Canon soloists

Ultimately, after the poll, more people voted to remove canon soloists than to keep them, and they are officially being removed from the roleplay.

Those discographies previously used for the soloists will begin to be open for points claims at midnight/12AM EDT on April 12.

With the removal of canon soloists, the plan is to allow a solo music career to become a more prominent claiming option, and there are plans for some additional claim options to become available in relation to such a career, but those will be added and addressed at a later time.

As for storylines linked to some of the soloists, this is how those will be retconned:

BC Soloist 1: Instead of BC signing and debuting a known Gold Star trainee, BC hired a high profile creative director from Gold Star known from working with Gold Star since their inception and had worked on some of their most defining comebacks and announced she would be taking over as one of the company’s main creative directors. She has since worked on conceptualizing several group’s comeback as well as most heavily on Chroma’s pre-debut project.

Dimensions Soloist 3: Instead of Dimensions buying out a small and brand new company created by a crew of popular music producers with one soloist who they transferred to their label, in early 2020, Dimensions bought out a music production company that was created by a top music production team with several rising producers signed with them and made the producers in-house producers for Dimensions. Since then, the new producers have helped to produce several hit Dimensions songs since.

While Gold Star Soloist 1 no longer exists as an IU stand-in, Gold Star still had an incredibly popular and loved NPC soloist as one of their first artists that helped give their name prominence. At the beginning of 2021, she announced her departure from the agency to create her own label, citing her reasoning as feeling she needed a more focused environment than Gold Star’s growth could provide. There are rumors she was alluding to dissatisfaction with Gold Star’s recent management and gossip that Gold Star was pushing for her to pursue activities in overseas markets she wasn’t interested in.

Anyone who had a feature or MV appearance claim on a soloist can contact me and let me know whether they’d like to just drop the claim (and, if a points claim, recollect those points), keep it as a claim in an unspecified work, or try to replace it with something else. The following muses had claims this applies to:

Features:

Cha Kyonghwa (Kami) (app claim) Kang Sunghee (app claim) Park Jaewon (points claim, 10 points) dropped! Choi Joosung (Sun) (points claim, 10 points) Moon Chaeyeon (Dita) (app claim) Park Duri (points claim, 10 points) kept as unspecified!

MV appearances:

Kim Kyongmin (Alice) (app claim) Ryu Jaein (points claim, 5 points) dropped! Seo Minjung (points claim, 10 points) points reclaimed! Moon Chaeyeon (Dita) (app claim)

Points shop updates

There have been a few updates to the points shop!

Firstly, the nation’s title claim checklist now requires a headcanon on the muse’s image and how it relates to their claims and career to be completed. This is just so I can see a mun’s own intentions for how everything ties in with their image. This headcanon shouldn’t focus on the title itself since that isn’t ever guaranteed for approval, but the muse’s general image as the mun has shaped it. The viral moment requirement for a nation’s title is now also specified to need to relate to the image involved in the desired title.

In the wake of canon soloists being removed, I’m planning on being a little more strict regarding music claims aligning well with positions.This applies to both individual songs and whole discographies. Still, the intent is to be reasonable. Chungha having a rap-like verse in “Bicycle” won’t require someone to have a rap position to claim it since it’s not a lot of the song and she’s not known as a rapper, but I also wouldn’t approve a muse whose most prominent position is main rapper or a main dancer making their entire discography IU releases since IU is primarily a singing-focused artist.

There used to be a rule requiring that muns seek admin approval before claiming songs written by deceased artists, but that rule has now been removed. Keep it respectful, though, please. If any issue arises with muns breaking the fourth wall in relation to these songs to be disrespectful about a real person’s passing, that claim may be revoked and the rule may be reinstated. Songs performed by deceased artists still cannot be claimed.

There’s also a new claim available — a YouTube variety show or talk show. Please see the variety page for examples and more information, but note that this is separate from both a reality show claim. I’ve tried to specify the difference, but if you’re ever unsure which one what you want to claim would fit into, feel free to ask! Both will now be uploaded in-’verse to base’s Youtube Channel. Likewise, there has been a small change so that future radio show claims are now through base Radio, a radio streaming application (think Naver Now).

Company building pages + Pinterest

I’m currently working on pages that give more detail on the layout of the company headquarters. They aren’t quite finished yet, but I have created a Famed Pinterest account for those of you who find more muse visually or who are into visual worldbuilding! One of the sections on the boards there gives a rough idea of company building visuals. There are group concept boards as well, so if you’re struggling to decide where your muse might fit, looking at those might help you if you’re more of a visual person. No one is required to follow it and I won’t be answering messages or anything of the sort there, but I thought it might be a helpful way to visually convey locations and concepts! I’ll make a small post to let everyone know when the pages with in-depth information on the company buildings is available.

Activity rules updates

I mentioned there’d be a few more touch-ups to the activity rules to fill in loopholes that have been around a while, so here they are.

- There is now a formal hiatus request form that must be submitted to request a hiatus. Simply sending the main an IM that you want a hiatus will no longer qualify as a valid request and it will not be processed.

- There will no longer be a week-long grace period after a hiatus ends. You are responsible for being active for the next activity check after your hiatus ends.

- The maximum length of a hiatus is now three weeks (and the minimum one week). The initial hiatus request maximum is still two weeks with one week extensions, but extensions may not be stacked to exceed three weeks total without a passed activity check in between. If you can’t be around for a longer period of time, it might be best to rejoin at a later time when you’re more available! In total, a mun is allotted a maximum of four weeks of hiatus over any twelve week period.

- If a muse reaches three activity warnings in a month, they will be automatically moved to the unfollow list on their third warning instead. If a muse is removed and refollowed three times over the course of six months, they will not be able to be re-followed again and will have to re-apply.

New points opportunity

As of this post going up, muses may now collect one point for every first closed thread with a new muse after it has reached ten posts. This will no longer only apply during events and the ten post requirement is new. Members should be interacting with new muses all the time, not just during events, so it felt right to adjust this accordingly. This applies only to threads started after this post goes up.

Chroma

As schedules have been made quarterly, all remaining Chroma roles will be made available for reserves and applications in at midnight/12AM EDT on April 12.

Suggestions + Feedback

I want to end off this post by reminding everyone that I’m always taking suggestions for events, tasks, etc! I plan on opening an official suggestion submission blog at some point down the line, but I’m happy to take suggestions through the ask box or submit if you have any. I’m also open to feedback as well. If you do send in either of these things, please specify if you’d like a reply from me, since sometimes I might be naturally inclined to keep a message simply giving a suggestion or idea without any questions instead of responding to it.

Thanks for reading this very long update! There are more additions to the roleplay in the works, some I’ve hinted at here and some I’ve not, but I hope Famed’s fifth year is able to be its best one yet!

#fmdadmin #queued post

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queenofallwitches · 4 years

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Venus trine MC, my MC lies in Saturn and Saturn is in 9th house Aquarius.

Saturn Return, and my Soul Journey into 12th house Sun conjunct Mercury (in Aries) bound by the 12th house Shadow Secrets. Jupiter is Leo and Mars is softened by my conjunct cancer moon, both in my 3rd house. The kicker is Chiron simultaneously sitting over in my wounded goddess divine feminine Luna moon compelling me to build a home, a base and a clan of like minded souls. cancer and Chiron sit together and Chiron is akin to the wounded healer. I have a complex but alchemical natal make up and its been 6 years of accepting the square and oppositions in difficult places to come to terms to work with my natal astrology in a way I can become creatively involved in.

23/3/20 initiated the formal induction of my Saturn return as saturn transited to Aquarius for the first time since 92/93.

It’s a taste of the full saturnine swing coming up after the December 21st astrology grand conjunction. Saturn will be in Aquarius up to July. before moving briefly back before that grand Conjunction with Pluto/Jupiter later in 21/12/2020. (activity period from 14 April 2020 until mid-July 2020) Venus trine MC

Yeah on a tangent but one day I will be thankful this was forged. I am will using my moonchild manifesto to track the astrology and transits for my own wounded healer journey. I don’t have the consistency of a computer to hoard things as I did before the big brother fascism came full formed this year and cannot freely trust anything can be stored. I will be putting things online purely to keep a record of what may soon be lost, unable to be accessed.

Plus I’m burning my journals after I take the photos of them and upload them for a ritualistic purpose.

It’s part of this creative alchemy and trauma soul retrival quest I’ve found myself on. I note this as my Saturn is returning home for my FIRST Saturn return. I have been formally initiated for the infamous, enigmatic Saturn return that marks the passage from “adolescence into adulthood”. (Funnily last time I heard a university lecture on neuroscience, the latest research noted recent findings that the brain of a fully, functional prefrontal cortex in adult brains don’t become fully formed until age 28-30. This first sparked excitement and also uncertainty about the privilege cast to the “teenage myth”. As kids brains are still developing when things like getting a driving cars, choosing a life career, alcohol privilege and making other major life changes at those critical developmental stages are still as risky when a 12-16 year old does it. So now psychology and neuroscience knows that the adult higher order thinking that marks the turn of a mature and civil adult come in the late 20s. Not the teens. So until after 25 a brain cannot be fully assessing its choices due to underdeveloped prefrontal higher order thought processes This was fascinating in the social science side of things where we look into social constructs of society and how teenager was a made up archetype for a post war period. I remember being in my early 20s at the time and my life was no longer a race as it had been made to be prior.the schools of the latest brain neuroscience confirm my impulsive nature could change before age 30. I was hopeful. Maybe I wasn’t a gifted genius who was highly sensitive and afflicted with the contrasting “ADHD or Attention Deficit Primaily Inattentive” which could only be “treated” (as far as I had experienced), via heavy duty schedule 8 drugs. The kind of medication that calmed me down but other people wound beg me to have. Meaning in the past people in my life around me were constantly trying to turn into their party high by taking advantage of my disdain for psychostimulants. But my love and need for money back in that time. Fuck fake friends I say. Taking advantage or dysregulated prefrontal cortex with or without all my labels was still, after all, a risky business, when it comes to juggling psychopharmacology and a myriad of labels that resulted in other medicines given to me that may or may not be accurate. No brain scan or confirmation has been given that my brain is anything aside from ADHD. So my academic quest in childhood was confounded due to this.I learnt a lot about my childhood and growing up with a long list of multiple mental illness diagnosis, and the medical pharmacology given to me for those things; was beyond measurable.

But my neurochemistry was tweaked ineffably by both psychiatric pills pushed on me from age 9 and for things I may not even need. The end result of what my social science teacher termed “social constructs akin to mental illness medical model DSM labels”. My self pursuit of understanding my own brain was a hard thing to understand in the sense that prior to hearing about this from the side of academic and professional training, I had spend 12 years in expensive and possibly more damaging than beneficial treatment for “mental illnesses”. My life was a focal point for the goal I set to help women with the “borderline stigma” after I had fixed my own borderline.

Clinical psychologist was my end game until I found the trauma truth sweeping me into a existential soul contusion merged with trauma after trauma therapy went into flooding memory. Academic research and the psychology and counseling journals I spent my spare time fine combing. For answers. For my why and how. By the time I found any sense of this it became a painful limbo of dancing with my demons, coping destructively and limbo between the underworld and the reality I found my body and mind entwined in.

Now it’s even more synonymous to my own Saturn return journey and how the Saturn return is the mark of adulthood. This can be a speculative musing I make now on celestial astrology and how it aligns to our inner psychological makeup. (The Jupiter return is age 12, puberty ; and the other inner planets all mark significant development milestones in growing up. I’ll go into that more in later blogs).

Astrology is a map of the soul, psychology makeup, can be so deep too. How does it measure up to statistics? Sun sign horoscope is nothing versus the natal chart and how it corresponds to planetary magick and Kabbalah. I have been seperate in my magick and academic work but it was always my will to merge these at one stage I could research it. But now the sands of time are shifting, and Aquarius Saturn is calling for novel innovation I never could convey due to academic being seperate as spiritual, magickal practice is something I was careful to keep silence on when working with clients, peers and mentors, forget telling my psychologists or doctors who wound dismiss any test as “bipolar mania”. I remember once I read “the difference between the mystic and the mad man is the mystic knows who NOT TO TELL.

Now it’s my time to informally but officially start logging my journey into my own healing, soul mapping, I call it cognitive alchemy, gnostic psychology, soul psychology, metagnosis.. I’ve had many a name for the potential inspiration from my true will calling. But I can now forget about the archaic bonds from the academic world I was schooled to excel in by confirming. I am also a high iq gifted kid and having been labelled gifted but “adhd” simultaneously while having traumatic events left right and center is a mix of confusion for me. Teachers classed adhd as a learning disability, my in attention confused with inability to listen to simple tasks. This meant my mind never adapted to that school conditioning but my education was still installed due to the private school system somehow making my alters succeed without effort. Most of my spare time as a kid that wasn’t dissociative was reading books. By me processing my own literature in my spare time, I knew so much random stuff but hid it in order to seem dumb bc that was accepted. But in private in encyclopaedias and non fictional library quests I’d devour books. for my 10 maximum haul of borrowing books. This was a routine my mum and I went to do each week but my reading speed was beyond anything known, as I read and synthesised up to 10 books mostly in one day, from age 6 onwards.

I also stole books and hid my reading habits at school due to a deep shame of not being liked due to reading being for losers without friends, as girls bullied me over my gifted weird quirks. I was pretty but saw my self as ugly for trauma will deprive the mind of seeing it’s own true perception. I was never understood how my looks became a thing used against me by girls who were jealous until I learnt about this myself. I recently accepted and remembered this all after 3 years of integrated healing. I was doing this all on my own. the spiritual and metaphysical work is my primary tool that was keeping me here. Actually saving my suicide program from self destruct after the March 2017 incident I shall not talk about now. But I’m here now, alive, kicking, Saturn here to shove my shadow to consciousness without prompt and this change can bring me into a 30 year blueprint of setting things right.

Now in order to build a solid and functional framework and foundational life. I have a litany of secrets I need to get off my chest. I think to share my growth, my thoughts and my experiences for my own liberation of my deep dark secrets finally free to be released into the public domain.

I have no choice but to share this.

I do this co consciously as a part of my integrative process.

Maybe One day it might be a guide for someone who was as alone as I feel doing all of this self work without support. Maybe it will fade into the cyber void forever. Maybe I’ll use this as a tool to help clients in the future. Whatever this is means nothing but what the process of alchemy can do to forge my liberation from soul loss and traumatic dissociative trauma.

As a therapist I always wanted to avoid what I went through growing up. Now more so. I never want another lost dissociative mental health client who was also stuck between professional and academic pursuits being my “purpose” and having to sacrifice career and my study and research to sit in my shadow to see the shit.

In order to break the shit therapist mould I list journey through my own shit first. This meant I needed to be away from all therapy both as a client and practitioner and student for awhile. I’ve been off since the end of 2017 and now it’s clear it was neeed, how do I heal without healing my own shit first? Am I not the finest example of how bad therapists can get away with their bullshit and be paid for it but never really know who they are. I’m never doing that. I never was about that. So due to therapeutic negligence. I am finding my gift was the lesson. Those a shitty therapist who are a dime a dozen were the anti mentors I saw too often: but my purpose was to be a therapist. But a therapist who did things the way I never had.

Never did I want another to go into the heavy weight of shame from the secrets of sexual wounds, childhood schemas, mixed up and messed up conditioning made to seem functional to outsiders. But that was all alters. Now it was a spiritual journey as magick and my mystical path entwines to save my soul. The self awakening, trauma revelations, merging with the dark night of soul, and the shadow work. Plus everything else coming out is not a journey I can say is or was at all easy, I suffer more now as a co conscious intergrating my trauma. I feel it all without the dissociative switch to save me from witnessing all the shit. Now I see my entire life and it’s fucked up raw and grim reality and I have to do something because I survived it this far? Again I never suicided or stopped into self destruction when I knew my own inner child’s wounds were no longer blacked out but burning bright longing for love. Symptoms for survival and the survival was part of the dissociative switching making my outside self seem so functional, but never seen. It’s not something they needed to drug me for, but it’s another thing I have to address now. My symptoms they drugged with medications that were mind altering and powerful for anyone let alone a developing child’s brain, were suppressed by many meds. Who knows where that ends and the damage via trauma and other things begin? It’s a mess of some thing I was never aware of but always trying to silence due to the need for people to accept me. But that was many mes all living a life that appeased many people, but not for me. Here we are.

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silverlightqueen · 5 years

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Ruin My Life

Based on Ruin My Life by Zara Larsson

RML masterlist

(fratboy!Jimin bc I’m a slut for douchey Jimin🤷🏽‍♀️) - smut, flirty banter, angst and fluff to come

Word Count - 8.7k+

Summary - After an eventful afternoon in the library and an unexpected reunion, you end up sending a text that you might regret...

Warnings - v v smutty!!! dom!Jimin, daddy kink, oral, dirty talking, intercourse, spanking, thigh riding, a lil bit of everything ig

a/n: so this went in a very different direction than I intended it to when I started writing it lol, but I actually like the plot twist so here ya go. also, this is definitely going to be a series and hopefully I’ll be uploading part 2 very soon bc I've already started on it lmao. Please tell me what y’all think, I’d love to get some feedback💕

Edit: Part 2 is out now, link in my masterlist💕

I love university. Everything about it. My course is super interesting and there’s never a moment when I think I’d rather be doing a different course. My lecturers are super cool and understanding, all of them young, so they know what we’re going through, and considerate. My friends and roommate are all amazing people and they’ll never give me a chance to be sad or bored, always on hand to cheer me up and take me out. The parties are always so much fun and I’m lucky enough to have never had a bad experience with a drunk and horny boy, or a group of bitchy girls. So yes, unlike some others around here, I love university with my whole heart and soul. I’m one of those annoying people who shows up to early morning lectures with a coordinated and pristine outfit, a full face of makeup and perfect hair, my laptop and matching stationery ready, as well as a Starbucks and breakfast. I wake up happy in the mornings and go to sleep happy at night. And this isn’t one of those stories where I’m going to rattle on about how much I love university and then say that there’s one exception to the rule. No, definitely not. This is a slightly different story. Because I was pondering how much I love university whilst sat at a desk in the library, book in hand, both headphones in, just as something happened which would cause a chain of events which would in turn change my view on my university for the rest of my life. Maybe even ruin my life as it is, for better and for worse.

Someone leans against the desk beside me and pulls out one headphone, Drake being cut off mid-rap, and I look up, expecting it to be my roommate, Mija, or one of my other friends, but instead, it’s a surprise, and not exactly a nice one. ‘Hello, darling,’ Kim Taehyung says, looking down at me with a small smirk. He’s dressed in the school’s football kit, shorts to his knees, and a loose t-shirt, and he holds his varsity jacket over his shoulder. I sigh, knowing that this probably won’t end well. ‘My name isn’t darling,’ I say quietly, but he reacts to the words like I shouted them in his face, flinching slightly. ‘Well, obviously, y/n,’ he chuckles, saying it with emphasis as a way to prove that he knows my name, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘Can I help you, Taehyung?’ I ask, putting my book down and leaning back in my seat, knowing he isn’t going to leave easily. ‘Yes, actually, babe. I wanted to ask something of you,’ he says, his jawline clenched once the words leave his mouth, and I roll my eyes. ‘Ask it then, and I’ll see if it’s worth my time,’ I say, and his lips quirk up in amusement.

Now, I feel like I should explain something. I’m not a bitch, okay? I’m super nice. I’m one of those girls that gets along with everyone, little kids, old people and everyone in between. I could get along with a brick wall if I had to. I’m sociable, kind and easy to talk to. But frat boys… frat boys are the one exception. I’m lucky enough to not have to see them most of the time, my schedule conflicting with theirs, and we don’t really run in the same social circles. But Taehyung and his friends, I’d been unfortunate enough to encounter them a few times more than I would ever want to. Not direct encounters, though. Through my friends, and their heartbreaks, one-night stands, rejections and short relationships with the boys. I’d had to wipe away their tears, console them and spend nights chatting shit about the boys more times that I can count. It had become tiring to say the least. So, please, forgive me for the way I’m speaking to Taehyung, because he deserves it.

‘Let me take you out?’ he asks, and my lips curl up into a grin. ‘Ah, you and your stupid friends are really not as funny as you seem to think you are. Is this a bet, or a dare? Or are you getting something for it? Money, maybe? If you are, I’ll say yes, and I get half,’ I say, and he looks surprised, trying to keep up with my words. ‘Wait, what? This isn’t a dare, and it’s not for money,’ he says, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘So, it’s a bet then?’ I ask, and he shakes his head hastily. ‘Can’t a guy ask a girl out for the sake of it?’ he asks, tilting his head in a way he must think is endearing. It is, to be honest, but I wouldn’t admit it to him in a million years; he already knows how intimidatingly handsome he is. ‘What makes you want to ask me out? What’s special about me?’ I challenge. ‘Of course you’re special, baby,’ he says, mistaking me trying to catch him out as insecurity. The way the words roll of his tongue with such ease tell me he’s said them many times before, and it makes me even more annoyed. ‘I know I’m special, dumbass, way too special to be dealing with this right now. I wanna know what you think is so special about me to ask me out,’ I explain exasperatedly. ‘You’re, like, clever, and stuff. And you’re pretty,’ he says with a grin, thinking he’s done well. ‘I’m clever, pretty, and stuff?’ I ask deadpan, and he nods proudly. ‘Wow, thanks!’ I say sarcastically, and then he seems to clock that I’m not too impressed with his observations. ‘To save myself from any more of the bullshit that has been nonstop exiting your mouth for the past minute, I’m going to ask you to leave now,’ I say, and I hear choked laughter from behind me. I don’t bother to turn and look, knowing that it’s probably his stupid friends, and continue staring at Taehyung, waiting for him to leave. ‘I’ll see you around, y/n,’ he grins, strutting away. I roll my eyes, putting my headphone back in and getting back to work, incorrect in thinking that that was the end of it. Only a few minutes later, and I have another visitor.

‘I guess my desk is the place to be this afternoon, huh?’ I ask as I pull out a headphone, looking up to see Hoseok smirking down at me, dressed in the same kit as Tae, his varsity jacket on instead. ‘It’s not because of the desk, though,’ he says, and I nearly laugh out loud. ‘Can I help you, Hobi? Because I have loads of work to do,’ I sigh tiredly. ‘Fuck the work, do me instead,’ he says with a grin, and I choke. ‘Wow, you’re… straightforward, I’ll give you that. But you do know that no girl with more than one braincell would ever be flattered or turned on after being spoken to like that?’ I reply with a raised eyebrow. ‘And you’ve got more than one braincell, have you, y/n?’ he asks, a mischievous grin playing at his lips. ‘Yes, more than can be said for you and your friends. Now whatever stupid game it is that you guys are playing, give it up and leave me alone. I’m busy,’ I say in annoyance. ‘Too busy for me? Don’t hurt me, y/n,’ he says, his mouth constantly stretched into that stupidly handsome smile. ‘Even if I’m watching paint dry, I’m still too busy for you,’ I say, and he clutches his heart dramatically. ‘How can you hurt me this way, babe?’ he says, and I roll my eyes. ‘Leave, Hobi, I’m not dealing with your stupidity anymore,’ I say, putting my headphone back in, not waiting to see if he’s left or not. I’m lucky to be left in peace for a few minutes, until another of their stupid friends bothers me.

‘Oh, this had better be good,’ I say, putting my book down again, looking up to see Jungkook smiling his annoyingly cute bunny smile at me, his jacket tied around his small waist. ‘Trust me, baby, if it’s to do with me, it will be,’ he says confidently, my eyebrow quirking up. ‘Arrogance? Not the best way to seduce a girl,’ I say. ‘Who says I’m trying to seduce you?’ he asks, trying not to grin, and I laugh. ‘Don’t be silly, Jeon.’ ‘Who’s the arrogant one now?’ he says, and I give an impressed nod. ‘Touché. So, what have you come over here to ask me to do? Are you gonna beat around the bush like Tae and ask me out on a date, or are you gonna get straight to the point like Hobi and tell me to do you?’ I ask, and I can see him try not to laugh. ‘How about I take you out and then you do me? Or rather, I do you?’ he suggests, and I nod as I digest his words, trying not to let the way his words affect me show. ‘What a… tempting offer. But no, thank you, I have much more important things to do,’ I say, and he pouts at me. ‘More important than me? I didn’t think it was possible,’ he says ponderingly, and I hold back a laugh. ‘God, you’re annoying. You must be insane if you think you have any importance in my life,’ I say, and he hisses, pretending to be hurt. ‘Ouch. Come on, noona, you know you find me attractive,’ he says, and I laugh aloud. ‘What’s the game? Is it a bet to see who can get me on a date?’ I ask, and he raises an eyebrow. ‘You’re clever,’ he says, revealing it straight away. ‘I am, but even someone with your IQ could figure that out after having three morons from the same friendship group come up to you in the space of twenty minutes,’ I say. ‘I’ll have you know my IQ is higher than average. 128, to be precise,’ he says, and I raise an eyebrow at his IQ being mere points off mine. ’28? Sounds about right,’ I say, and he laughs a genuine laugh. ‘You’re a funny girl, y/n. I’m actually genuinely asking you out now, not because of the dare,’ he says, and I grin, amused. ‘Maybe some other time, Kook, when I’m not so busy,’ I say, taking pity on the boy before scrawling down my number on a piece of paper. ‘Don’t hit me up if you want your dick sucked, that’s not what this is for. Send me your name so I have your number, and I’ll let you know when I’m free if I don’t change my mind,’ I say, and he grins victoriously as he takes it from me, the boys behind causing a ruckus. ‘Can I have a kiss for the road?’ he asks, a cheeky smile on his annoyingly cute face, and I laugh. ‘Run along, Jeon,’ I say, and he does so, leaving me laughing to myself.

Only a few minutes later, someone takes a seat opposite me, and I supress a sigh. ‘I’m not gonna fuck around like those kids, I’m gonna get straight to it. Let me take you out,’ Seokjin says once I’ve taken out a headphone, and I raise an eyebrow at his straightforward statement. ‘Well, what a way to woo a girl, Jin. God knows how you’ve managed to get so many girls into your bed,’ I say, and he gives me a smile, staggeringly handsome with his dark hair hanging over onto his forehead, his kit the same as the other boys. ‘I get into theirs, they don’t get into mine. Imagine the germs. I’d let you, though, babe,’ he smiles, and my heart jumps. ‘Thank you, I’m flattered, but I’d rather not step foot anywhere other than the downstairs of your frat house for as long as I live,’ I say, and he laughs his endearingly loud laugh, sounding distinctly like a windshield wiper. ‘I don’t mind coming to yours,’ he offers. ‘So you took that obvious rejection as an offer to come to my apartment? God, you frat boys really are dense, huh?’ I say, and he raises an eyebrow. ‘So you don’t want me?’ he asks. ‘No, Seokjin, I don’t.’ ‘You gave your number to Jungkook,’ he points out, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘He wore me down. And he’s cute, I guess,’ I admit, and Jin gives me a sceptical look. ‘So I’m not cute?’ ‘No, you aren’t cute, and you know that that’s not an appropriate word to describe you at all,’ I say, the subliminal message obvious to him. ‘So you find me attractive, then?’ he asks. ‘So is this about getting validation or about asking me out? Because it’s sure seeming like the former,’ I say. ‘I don’t need validation, babe, I know I’m handsome. I just want to know how you feel about me,’ he says, tilting his head to the side inquisitively. ‘I think you’re handsome, but I don’t have any kind of emotional or physical attraction to you in the slightest, Jin. My apologies but go find a girl who will fawn over you like you want her to,’ I say, and he laughs. ‘Fair enough, I gave it a try, I guess,’ he says, getting up. ‘And it was a good one at that,’ I say, taking pity on him, and putting a sympathetic hand on his forearm, and the boys start to pipe up behind me. ‘See you later, Y/N,’ he says, and I smile at him.

Next, I have someone filling the seat beside me, and I roll my eyes, knowing this stupid roleplay is unavoidable. ‘Hey, y/n,’ I hear once I’ve removed my headphone, and the voice brings a smile to my face. Perhaps the only one I actually like out of them all. ‘Hey, Joon,’ I say, with a wide smile, hearing the boys whispering once more. ‘I… I’m sorry, this is so dumb,’ he says with a shake of his head, and I laugh. ‘It’s okay. I guess it’s kind of brought me some entertainment for this afternoon,’ I say. ‘It was a stupid bet to see if any of us would actually be able to get you to agree to going out with us,’ he says. ‘Where did it come from though? Why did it even come up into conversation?’ I ask, curious, the handsome man rolling his eyes. ‘We were supposed to have a meeting with the Dean of the school in here, something about the frat, but she had to reschedule, and we ended up staying in here because we had nothing else to do. Then Tae spotted you, and asked when you got so hot, and I said you’ve always been hot, because you have, and then one thing led to another, and Tae bet he could get you to go out with him, so all the rest of us bet too, because we’re mindlessly competitive morons,’ he explains, and I crack up at his last few words. ‘Well,’ I say in a low voice, smiling gently as I lean closer to him and place a hand onto his chest for effect, ‘you can go back and tell them that I said I’d definitely go out with you, and I said I’d take you home too, because we really are due a catch-up, and we haven’t binged a series since freshman year.’ He grins at my physical deception to the boys, my words about reconnecting as friends conflicting greatly with my actions, and brushes a piece of hair behind my ear. ‘I’ll text you soon,’ he says, getting up, and I smile at him. ‘Please do,’ I say, the boys reacting far too loudly for the library.

And then I get another visitor ten minutes later. ‘I’m gonna cut to the chase. What’s it gonna take for you to give me your number just so I can shut the boys up?’ Yoongi asks me, and I let out a laugh. ‘You need to convince me,’ I reply as he takes the seat beside me. ‘What did Namjoon and Jungkook do? Did they bribe you?’ he asks, his big brown eyes dancing as he grins mischievously. ‘No, neither of them bribed me. They used their natural charm,’ I say, and he grimaces. ‘I don’t have any of that so would you take a bribe?’ he asks, and I laugh again. ‘You are charming, and witty,’ I say, and he raises his eyebrows. ‘Why does it sound like you’re trying to get my number?’ he asks, and again, he has me laughing, effortlessly funny. ‘Aw, Yoongi, you’re funny. But no, I don’t take bribes,’ I say, and he fake scowls. ‘Not money? Or food?’ he asks, and I contemplate this for a moment. ‘Yeah, probably,’ I say, and he grins the most adorable gummy smile I’ve seen in my life. ‘Okay, I’ll buy you takeout of your choice on any given night. Just text me and I’ll order it to your apartment,’ he says, and I consider his offer. ‘I’ll one-up you; I’m gonna have Joon over soon for a day of binge-watching Netflix. You can come too as long as you bring snacks and then order dinner,’ I bargain, and he nods, ‘Deal.’ ‘Perfect. Let me put my number in your phone and then text me later,’ I say, and he hands me his phone with a smug look at the boys. They let out outraged noises as I put my number in his phone, trying not to laugh as I see the librarian stomping over in their direction. ‘Thanks, y/n, you’re a real one,’ he says, and I grin, shaking my head as he walks away. But the last visitor I get, around twenty minutes later, is definitely the most… unwelcome.

‘Hey, princess. Long time, no see,’ he says after plucking out a headphone, and his voice sends a chill through me. Okay, so maybe I lied when I said I hadn’t directly encountered any of them. One of them may or may not be an ex-fuck buddy (I hate that phrase but it’s the best way to describe it, because we definitely weren’t friends with benefits). It’d been a low point in my university life, when I’d broken up with a long-term boyfriend and wanted to go crazy for a little, and I guess that’s what I ended up doing. Or rather, who I ended up doing. No one other than my roommate knows about our fling, as far as I’m aware, and it’d ended after a few months. We haven’t spoken since, and every time I’ve seen him in real life, I’ve practically run in the other direction to avoid him. It’s not that we ended on bad terms; it’s just… awkward. And now, here he is. Sat on the desk beside me, looking as handsome as ever in his football kit, his thick thighs and strong arms straining against the material, his varsity jacket tied low on his hips. He runs a hand through his newly dyed dirty blond locks, smirking as he watches my eyes travel over his body.

‘Hey, Jimin,’ I reply, not really knowing what else to say. ‘That’s not what you used to call me,’ he says with a smirk, looking down at me with sparkling eyes. ‘It’s what I called you when we were around other people,’ I point out, and he grins widely, his pearly whites out on display. ‘How have you been, princess? I’ve missed you,’ he pouts, and I roll my eyes, trying to act like his nickname for me doesn’t affect me in the slightest. ‘I really doubt that, Jimin. Did you even have enough time in your… busy schedule to miss me?’ I ask with a raised eyebrow, his grin becoming even wider. ‘Now, babe, don’t get jealous. You know that when I was with you, I was with only you, no one else. So, don’t act like the scorned woman,’ he reprimands me, running a hand through his hair again, and I roll my eyes once more. ‘What a privilege,’ I say sarcastically, and he shakes his head at me. ‘Look how you treat me. After everything we went through together,’ he says. ‘The only thing we went through together was a jumbo pack of condoms,’ I say, and he bursts out laughing. ‘I forgot how funny you are, babe,’ he says, and I try not to smile at seeing him look so happy. ‘Listen, don’t be mad at me for moving on. As much as I hate to bring it up, you’re the one that ended things with me, though only God knows why. We were good together, right?’ he asks, and I nod, knowing he’s right; we were. ‘So why did you end it?’ he asks, and I sigh. ‘Do you really wanna know, Jimin?’ I ask, and he nods, watching me interestedly. ‘Because I started to catch feelings for you,’ I admit, watching his face for any kind of reaction, but he doesn’t show any sign of emotion, his face not changing in the slightest. ‘And?’ he asks after a few seconds, hand sweeping through his hair again. ‘Two reasons. One, I’d just gotten out of a relationship, and wasn’t looking to get into another one. Two, you weren’t, and still aren’t, the type of guy to even want a relationship, so there was no point continuing what we had, because I would’ve fallen for you more and more, and it wouldn’t have gone anywhere,’ I say, and he raises an eyebrow. ‘Because you know me so well?’ he asks, and I nod with a small smile. ‘I knew you better than you thought I did,’ I say, and he nods, digesting my words.

‘Well, what do you say we give us a go again, Y/N?’ he asks seriously, and I nearly choke. ‘What, like… do what we used to do?’ I ask, and he nods with a small smile, running a hand through his hair. God, it’s so sexy when he does that. ‘Obviously. Not a relationship, you said it yourself, you know I’m not that guy. Unless you’re gonna go catching feelings again,’ he says, and I scoff. ‘Don’t flatter yourself. I’ve matured. Just as much as you’ve become more of a douche,’ I say, and he holds his chest in mock pain. ‘Ouch, princess, you really know how to hurt me, huh?’ he jokes, and I stick my tongue out at him. ‘Thanks for trying to pimp yourself out to me, Jimin, but no, thank you. I’ve passed that stage in my life,’ I say, putting on a snooty voice, and he pulls a face at me, scrunching up his nose adorably. ‘Come on, princess, for old times’ sake. Just one more time. Then I’ll leave you alone,’ he says, and I shake my head. ‘Can’t you go ask some naïve freshman who doesn’t know you well and will think she’s ‘oh-so special’?’ I say, and he laughs. ‘Princess, you were the naïve freshman at one point, remember?’ he says. ‘We were sophomores,’ I point out. ‘Regardless. Nothing like a one-last-time fuck, huh?’ he says, his casual way with words igniting something long forgotten inside me.

‘Go ask someone else, Jimin,’ I say, looking away from him, knowing if he doesn’t leave soon, I won’t be able to resist him much longer. ‘Don’t you understand, y/n? I’m asking you because I want it to be you. I don’t just want any old sex, I want good sex, and, as much as this is majorly wounding my pride to admit this to you, you are the best I’ve had,’ he says, his tone honest and shameless, and my eyes widen. ‘Seriously? I’m the best? Out of like the other 200 girls you’ve fucked?’ ‘Hey! Don’t downplay me, more like 300,’ he jokes, and I try to hold back a laugh. ‘You’re probably a walking STD,’ I say with a disgusted shake of my head, and he lets out a small laugh. ‘Fine, y/n, but you have my number still, right? You know where I am if you need me,’ he says, getting up. But he hesitates before leaving. ‘I really did mean it when I said I missed you, princess,’ he says, our eyes locked together as he runs a hand through his soft locks, and I look away, embarrassed. He leaves then, and all I can think is, I missed you too.

And it is that thought, resounding in my mind all afternoon, for the rest of my stay in the library, on my way home, during movie night with my roommate, that leads me to do what I nearly do. My fingers ghosting over the screen of my phone, hovering over the send button, I look up at the screen briefly. ‘I can’t believe the main character died already. Her death was so sad,’ my roommate, Mija, says. ‘I know,’ I reply half-heartedly, looking back at my phone. ‘You bitch! You really haven’t paid attention at all! The main character hasn’t died! And he’s a guy!’ she shouts, hitting me repeatedly with a pillow. ‘Ow, Mija! I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Just stop! Mija!’ I shriek, the other girl finally giving up. ‘Right, explain. Why have you been staring at your phone for the past hour?’ she asks. I give in instantly, telling her of the events of the library, specifically my conversation with Jimin, and she gives me the perfect reactions, gasping and laughing in all the right places. She really is the best person to tell stories to. Once I’m done, she stares at me. ‘What are you waiting for then?’ she asks, and I stare stupidly at her, confused. ‘What?’ ‘Message him, you idiot!’ ‘Oh! Yeah, but what if I catch feelings again? He basically said today that he is not up for a relationship,’ I say. ‘So, fuck him once last time, and be done with it,’ she says. ‘You think?’ I say. ‘I know! He told you you’re the best sex he’s ever had, you dumb bitch! For Park Jimin to say that, it must’ve been fucking good, so don’t let that opportunity go to waste,’ she says. ‘Okay, okay, stop cussing me out!’ I say in mock hurt, and she rolls her eyes. ‘Text him, you moron. I’m gonna go see our neighbours, and you’d better put on that brand-new Agent Provocateur set we bought together,’ she says threateningly, jumping up from the sofa and leaving in her pyjamas, phone and popcorn in hand, before I can even say anything. I grab my phone and send the text before I psych myself out. I quickly put my phone on speaker for once and then begin to clean up the living room. I get a text back around a minute later and I practically pounce at my phone. The text I see simultaneously makes me roll my eyes and smile, before I lock my phone and rush around tidying. Then I quickly slip out of my comfies and into a black lingerie set; bra, pants, suspenders, lace, sheer, straps, the whole shebang. I quickly tidy my room too, and then take a seat on the couch again, acting all calm and collected, flicking through the music channels on the TV impatiently.

Only sixteen minutes after I sent the text, I hear a knock at the door and wait until he knocks again before getting up to answer the door. I pull it open slightly, looking through the small gap, his dark eyes meeting mine. He looks positively delectable, dressed in a pair of light blue distressed jeans with rips that reveal strong thighs, and a white t-shirt with the word ‘Lovers’ printed across the front in black writing, a fitted black leather jacket over the top. A silver earring dangles from his left ear, a silver hoop in the other, and his hair is parted just slightly off-centre, a small strip of his forehead exposed. ‘I hate it when you leave me waiting. I nearly ran a guy over driving here, and this is what I get in return?’ he growls, only half-hearted annoyance behind the words, and I pull the door completely open, letting him in. ‘Wow,’ he says, stopping in his tracks in the doorway, his eyes raking over my body shamelessly, ‘all this for me, princess?’ I smile coyly, shy under his burning gaze, and brush a lock of hair behind my ear. ‘All for you, Jimin,’ I say, and he takes a step into the room, throwing the door closed with a thud.

He practically throws himself at me, his hands gripping at my waist as his lips find my neck. ‘Now, now, princess, that’s not what you call me when we’re alone, is it?’ he murmurs against my skin, the feel of him touching me again nearly making me melt in his arms. ‘No, daddy,’ I breathe out, and he exhales shakily, his lips pulling and biting at the tender skin below my jaw. ‘Fuck, it’s been so long,’ he whispers, his hands snaking around my thighs, pulling me upwards. I get the hint, jumping up and wrapping my legs around his waist, my actions a result of muscle memory, and he walks towards my bedroom, his lips still working on my neck. He kicks the door open, the loud noise making me jump, and he lets out a gentle laugh at my reaction, before he virtually throws me down onto the bed. He climbs over me, his toned body hovering over my smaller frame, and he stares down at me. ‘God, I’ve missed you,’ he whispers before pressing his lips to mine, our bodies fitting together perfectly.

He parts his lips and I follow suit, his tongue easily sliding into my mouth to meet mine, and the way our mouths work together in perfect harmony brings memories of long nights past rushing back. The hand that isn’t holding him up grazes up and down my side as my hands grip his back, feeling the soft leather against my skin. I tangle my fingers into his soft hair, the locks sliding between them like silk, and pull on it, feeling him groan into my mouth. Our kiss becomes more heated and passionate, all dancing tongues and clashing teeth. The taste of mint and something distinctly Jimin has me wanting more. I didn’t realise how much I missed the feeling of him, and I relish every moment that his hand digs into my waist and his mouth works against mine. I pull his plump lower lip between my teeth before running my tongue over it, and he groans again, the sound heavenly. He rolls us over, so I lay atop him, and both of his hands furiously explore my body, tracing the curves of my back, waist and hips, and gripping onto my ass tightly. My hands rest on either side of his face, our lips still attached, my hair falling around us like a curtain. ‘Princess,’ he breathes out against my lips, and I pull away by a millimetre, our noses touching, the tiniest distance between our lips. ‘As much as I’m enjoying catching up, I’m getting impatient,’ Jimin says, grinding up against me, the hardening bulge in his tight jeans brushing against my stomach, and I let out a tiny whimper. ‘You like the feel of that, princess? I’m so hard, just for you,’ he whispers against my ear, grinding up against me again. I try to palm him through his jeans, and he slaps my hand away instantly, a dark glint appearing in his eyes.

‘Off,’ he instructs, and I climb off him, watching as he sits up, moving to the edge of the bed, his feet planted firmly on the floor. He pats his lap and I already know what’s coming. ‘Why, daddy? Haven’t I been a good girl?’ I ask, pouting at him with big eyes, and he lets out a harsh laugh, repeating the action again. I reluctantly bend over his lap, my ass up in the air, as he chuckles. ‘Good girl? You think you’ve been a good girl?’ he asks, and I nod. His hand lands on my ass without any warning, the slap hard and stinging, and I supress the yelp that nearly leaves my mouth, knowing it’ll only get me more. ‘That is for not replying to any of my texts or calls,’ he spits out before his hand lands another slap on my ass, even harder this time. ‘That is for avoiding me around campus and at parties.’ Another slap, painfully harsh, bringing tears to my eyes, slick beginning to pool in my black lace pants. ‘That is for flirting with all my friends at said parties, where you knew I could see you.’ Another slap, harsher again, causing me to lurch forward on his lap. ‘That is for giving Jungkook, Namjoon and Yoongi your number.’ ‘Namjoon already had my number!’ I say indignantly, and he slaps my ass harder than any of the previous slaps, causing the tears to spill over, my cheeks stinging and red. I’ll probably have bruises the shape of his hand tomorrow. ‘You never know when to keep your mouth shut, princess,’ he says, his hand landing against my ass again, a loud clap resounding against the room, and I can feel heat rushing to my core. ‘And that one is for how you’ve gotten even sexier over the past two years,’ he says before pulling me up off his lap and pushing me back down onto the bed.

He hovers over me again, pressing his lips against where the tears spilled over onto my face. ‘You are a good girl for me, princess. You always take your punishments so well. I just missed leaving bruises on this perfect ass,’ he murmurs against my face, his kind words making my heart warm. ‘Thank you, daddy,’ I whisper in reply, feeling him tense against me. ‘Such a good girl. My princess deserves a reward, right? You deserve a reward, don’t you, baby girl?’ he asks, and I nod, my bottom lip between my teeth. He ducks his head suddenly, his lips appearing at my jaw, slowly travelling down my neck to my collarbones, leaving blooming bruises in his wake, wanting to mark me as his. When he reaches the black lace of my bra, he lets out a deep breath. ‘You look so sexy in this,’ he says, looking up at me through his dirty blond locks. ‘Don’t rip it off, please, daddy, it was expensive,’ I say gently, and he chuckles. ‘I’ll buy you a new one, princess,’ he says, and I pout at him, not wanting it to go to waste after only wearing it once. ‘Fine,’ he huffs in mock annoyance, his hands snaking under my torso to unclip the clasp of my bra expertly. He pulls it off me, throwing it over his shoulder, and I shiver at the cold air hitting my newly exposed breasts, my nipples already hardening. Jimin exhales deeply, his breath hitting my chest, and I whimper at the feeling, watching him grin before ducking his head to wrap his lips around one nipple. His hand tugs and toys with the other nipple whilst his mouth pulls and sucks on the first, the sensations making me whine. I wrap my hands into his hair as he moves his mouth the other nipple, doing the same, making me numb. He moves further down my body, his lips pressing kisses down my stomach until he reaches the hem of my pants. With a roll of his eyes, he pulls my pants swiftly down my legs rather than ripping them off me like he used to, discarding them on the floor too, leaving me completely naked beneath him. ‘So fucking beautiful,’ he whispers, spreading my legs slowly.

‘God, I forgot how wet you get. Has anyone else managed to get you this wet, princess?’ he asks, and the question embarrasses me. The truth is that no one has. No one has ever pleased me the way Jimin used to. He grew to know my body well, knowing exactly what got me going and what I liked. It’s slightly humiliating how quickly Jimin can get me to my climax. ‘I asked you a question, princess. Has anyone else gotten you this wet?’ he asks, teeth gritted, fingers pressing into my waist. Jimin is all about validation, I’ve learned to realise. Praising him makes him feel fantastic, and when he feels fantastic, he makes me feel fantastic. ‘No, daddy, only you,’ I reply, a grin splitting his face before he ducks between my legs. He blows hot air out over my core, and I let out a small whimper. ‘Please, daddy,’ I say, unable to stop the words slipping out of my mouth, and ready myself for a reprimanding. ‘So needy, princess,’ he chuckles, surprising me by fulfilling my wishes, licking a stripe across my slit. ‘Tastes so good, princess,’ he praises as I let out a small moan, my feet curling up against the soft sheets. He licks at my core slowly, tongue lapping up my slit languorously, dipping his muscle in between my folds every few seconds, the process sending mind-numbing shocks through me. Without warning, he attaches his lips to my clit, sucking and tugging on the bundle of nerves, and I throw my head back onto the pillow, my back arching up. ‘Stay still, princess,’ he warns me, the vibration of his words against my heat having me shivering as one arm comes up to hold my hips down against the bed. His other hand comes up to between my legs and he slowly pushes one finger into my core, working his way in. ‘So tight, baby girl, am I not turning you on enough?’ he asks, and I know this question’s rhetorical, moaning out as he plunges another finger in, trying to open me up a little more. ‘I’m not gonna get my cock in at this rate, princess,’ he says, still with his lips wrapped around my clit, his two fingers slowly pumping in and out of me.

He gradually increases his pace, adding another finger in after a few moments, his mouth still working wonders at my clit. After a while, I can feel my orgasm building up, the moans falling more frequently from my mouth, Jimin only increasing his pace more and more, until his fingers pump in and out furiously fast, his tongue licking up and down my slit before pulling on my clit with his lips. My hands, threaded into his soft locks, pull him closer and closer to my core, and I can feel myself fast approaching the edge. He curls his fingers inside me, hitting that a particular spot, and I let out a loud whine. ‘Shit, Jimin, right there,’ I moan, and he stops his movements. I look down at him, already feeling my orgasm diminishing, and he stares back harshly. ‘What did you call me, princess?’ he asks sternly, and I pout. ‘Sorry, daddy, I forgot. It just felt so good,’ I reply, and a tender smile slips onto his face. ‘It’s okay, baby girl, you can say my name if you want,’ he allows before he goes back to his previous ministrations, and I feel myself tumbling towards the edge. ‘Come on, princess, you’re so close,’ he whispers, and I finally reach my orgasm when he curls his fingers and pulls on my clit at the exact same moment. ‘Fuck, Jimin!’ I cry out, back arching off the bed as my release washes over me.

Once I’ve come down from my high, Jimin licks up my release before he climbs off me, standing up beside the bed. He holds out his fingers to me, and I open my mouth, tasting myself on his digits, licking them clean. He slips off his socks and shoes as I take deep breaths, recovering, and he watches me fondly. Shakily, I push myself up, kneeling at the edge of the bed to help him undress. He shrugs off his jacket and then pulls his t-shirt over his head, throwing it onto the floor as I unbutton his jeans, tugging them down his legs, leaving him in a pair of plain black boxers, his bulge straining against the material. He watches as I run my hands over his chest, the muscles more prominent than they used to be, his skin more tanned now too. I bring my lips up to his collarbone, kissing and sucking to leave a mark of my own, threading my hands into the hair at the nape of his neck. ‘Princess, as much as I’m enjoying this, I really need you,’ he says breathlessly, obviously trying not to let out any noises, and I pull away from his skin. ‘Okay, daddy,’ I reply, pulling his boxers down just enough to let his hard length spring up against his stomach. He’s longer than I remember, thicker too, and his head is painfully swollen, the tip leaking precum. My mouth waters at the sight. I press a kiss to his tip, my tongue sliding out between my lips to lick up his precum, and he lets out an audible breath. I move back, spitting on my hands and running them up and down his length slowly, Jimin’s hands coming to gather up my hair and hold it back. I place my tongue at the base, licking up to his tip against the vein on the underside of his cock, feeling him tense as I do so. I take his head into my mouth, swirling my tongue around him, my hands rubbing him slowly. I look up at him through my lashes as I take him further into my mouth, feeling him hit the back of my throat, and his head falls back, a moan falling from his lips, the sound rushing straight to my core.

I build up my pace, steadily bobbing my head up and down, taking him as far in as I can, trying not to gag around him. ‘Fuck, princess, your mouth feels so good around my cock,’ he groans, saliva dripping down my chin and my eyes watering, not to mention the pain from how hard he’s tugging on my hair, but hearing the moans from him makes it all worth it. Just as I manage to adjust to him in my mouth, nearly backing down my throat, he becomes impatient. He begins thrusting into my mouth, controlling my head movements with the hand he has fisted in my hair, and all I can do is grab onto the back of his thighs as he fucks my mouth. ‘Ah, you’re such a good girl, princess. You make daddy feel so good, y/n. Taking my cock so well,’ he groans, and I moan at his words, the vibrations only making him thrust faster. The tears stream down my face, saliva now dripping all the way down my neck and chest, and I begin rubbing at my clit, already wet again. His thrusts into my mouth become messier and I know he’s nearing his edge, the moans and groans of my name becoming more and more frequent. I feel his cock twitch inside my mouth, ready for the hot cum that hits the back of my throat. ‘Shit, y/n,’ he moans, his head thrown back as he continues thrusting into me, filling my mouth with his release. Once he’s done, he pulls out of my mouth, his cum mingling with my saliva.

He looks down at me, my hair a tangled mess, my eyes streaming, spit and cum dripping down my face, fingers rubbing at my clit. I look up at him, hair pasted to his forehead with perspiration, chest heaving, lips swollen and shining. I swallow down what’s in my mouth as he collects up the liquid from my face and neck, his fingers entering my mouth. I lick them clean of all release again, still rubbing at myself, and I moan around his fingers, watching his eyes darken. ‘Already turned on, princess? You only orgasmed a few minutes ago! You always have been a greedy girl,’ he scolds, moving my pillows out of the way and sitting at the top of the bed, resting his back against the headboard. He pulls me up towards him and I think he’s going to want me to ride him, so when I try to straddle him, he shakes his head with a chuckle. He lifts me up and puts me down on his leg, my legs straddling his thigh, and he holds onto my waist. ‘You want me to ride your thigh, daddy?’ I ask gently, looking at him through my lashes, and he nods with a low groan, leaning forward to press his lips to mine. I can taste myself in his mouth, and I know it’s the same for him, our tongues and teeth clashing as his hands trail down to my ass, giving it a light slap before gripping it tightly. He flexes his thigh beneath my heat and I moan into his mouth, feeling him grin against mine before pulling away.

I begin grinding down on his strong thigh, holding on to his shoulders for support, and his mouth comes to my breasts. He begins licking and sucking on my nipples again and the feeling distracts me. It’s only after a little while that we both realised that I’ve stopped, and he flexes his thigh beneath me. ‘Jimin!’ I cry out, my head falling back as a result of the pleasure coursing through my veins, and he smirks. ‘Move, princess,’ he commands, and I slowly begin rocking down onto his bare thigh, the friction against my heat making me moan, Jimin watching me intently. ‘God, I can feel how wet you are. Gushing all over my thigh, princess. Such a dirty girl,’ Jimin breathes out, eyes on me as I grind down on his thigh. He grabs onto my waist, increasing my pace, and I moan out his name, the motion sending my mind into overdrive. ‘Look at you, grinding on my thigh like that, so beautiful,’ he groans out, licking his lips. Jimin’s eyes don’t leave me for a second and I know exactly what’s running through his mind; smugness and desire at the sight of me getting myself off on his thigh. ‘Fuck, Jimin, you feel so good, daddy,’ I whimper, looking down at his thigh to see it coated with my slick. ‘Be a good girl, y/n, work hard on daddy’s thigh, and I might just fuck you senseless afterwards,’ he whispers, and I let out a moan at his dirty words, a reminder of how vast and vibrant his vocabulary used to be. His length is already hard again, precum leaking from the tip, and I swipe a finger to collect it all up. The action catches him off-guard and he moans out, his head falling back and his thigh flexing, causing me to moan out his name. ‘Come on, princess, I know you’re near,’ Jimin urges, flexing and bucking up his thigh, the moans falling from my lips in rapid succession as I hurtle towards my climax. My orgasm finally washes over me and my back arches before I fall forward, my head buried in his neck, his scent of an expensive aftershave that I recognise from two years ago, his fresh soap and, again, something that just belongs to him, and him only, just something Jimin, floods my senses. He continues rocking me on his thigh until I’ve come down from my high.

‘I don’t think there’s anything more beautiful than the sight of you cumming on my thigh, princess. I wish I could imprint it in my mind,’ Jimin breathes out, lifting me off his thigh and laying me down on the bed, hovering over me. ‘Do you still keep your condoms in the same place?’ he asks, eyes flitting over to my bedside drawers, and I smile up at him. ‘I’m on the pill,’ I say, and he raises an eyebrow. ‘You’ve always been on the pill. Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t take precautions. I don’t want you pregnant,’ he says, and I roll my eyes. ‘Yes, I keep them in the same place,’ I sigh, and he grins, reaching over to the drawer and pulling one out. He hands it to me, shutting the drawer as I rip it open, sliding the rubber onto his length gently, hearing him hiss at the feeling. ‘Ready?’ he asks as I wrap my legs around his waist, and I nod, ‘Yes, daddy.’ He plunges into me, filling me up to the hilt, and my head drops back on to the pillow, Jimin’s head falling onto my shoulder. ‘Fuck, you’re so tight, princess, why don’t you ever loosen up? I won’t be able to last long,’ he groans, and I know it’s a lie, knowing Jimin will keep going for as long as it takes me to cum before he does, his stamina something inhuman. ‘Can I move?’ he asks. ‘Please, daddy,’ I moan, and he pulls all the way out, leaving me empty, before he slams all the way back in, hips snapping up against mine. ‘Fuck, daddy, you feel so good,’ I moan out, and he groans, setting a steady pace, his hips rocking up to meet mine. ‘Deeper, Jimin, harder,’ I moan and, after a few more thrusts, he gets impatient and unhooks one of my legs from around his waist, moving it to stretch up over his shoulder instead, slamming into me harder. ‘Daddy, oh, god, yes!’ I scream as he goes deeper than I thought possible, leaving me feeling completely and utterly full. He slams into me again and again, hitting the spongy spot deep inside me repeatedly, having me screaming. ‘Yes, fuck, Jimin, feels so good!’ I cry out as he begins rubbing at my clit. ‘That’s it, princess, scream my name. Let everyone know who’s making you feel so good,’ he urges, groaning and grunting as he thrusts into me at a fast pace, his thumb rubbing furiously at my clit. ‘Jimin, fuck!’ I scream out, my orgasm washing over me without a single ounce of warning from my body, having me quivering and convulsing under him. ‘Ah, fuck, princess, I’m gonna cum, fuck!’ Jimin moans, his thrusts slowing completely as he cums into the condom, his fingers still working on my clit. ‘Stop, Jimin,’ I say, slapping his hand away when the overstimulation kicks in.

Obligingly, Jimin pulls out of me, standing up and pulling off his condom, throwing it into the bin in the corner of my room. I slowly rise up from the bed, shakily walking over to my bathroom to go for a wee (no UTIs here, thank you very much), and when I go back into my room, Jimin’s redressing, beginning to pull his jeans on. ‘What are you doing?’ I ask, and he looks at me dumbfounded. ‘Um, I’m getting dressed,’ he says, his tone indicating how obvious it is. ‘I know that, I mean why,’ I say impatiently. ‘So I don’t show up to the frat house naked,’ he says in the same tone, and I roll my eyes. ‘Stay the night. It’s late, why would you go back home now?’ I ask, and he grins at me. ‘You sure, princess?’ he asks, and I nod exasperatedly. ‘Don’t make me regret offering,’ I say, picking up his t-shirt from the floor and pulling it on before grabbing a clean pair of pants from my wardrobe, pulling those on to. When I turn to face Jimin again, he’s lying in the bed, just in his boxers, watching me with a small smile. ‘You look so good in that shirt,’ he compliments as I climb into the bed beside him, taking a sip from the bottle of water sat on my windowsill. ‘How do you want me?’ I ask, and he smirks at me. ‘Another round already, princess?’ he asks, and I sigh tiredly. ‘You know what I mean,’ I say, and he chuckles. ‘I wanna spoon you,’ he says shamelessly, and I turn away from him, lying down. He lies down beside me, snaking his arms around my waist and pulling me closer to him so my back presses against his chest, my head tucked beneath his chin. ‘Goodnight, princess,’ he says tiredly. ‘Goodnight, Jimin,’ I reply, already drifting off to sleep, feeling so safe and comfortable in his arms.

#bts #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts smut #bts jimin #jimin #park jimin #bts au #jimin smut #park jimin smut #jimin fanfic #jimin fanfiction

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incarnateirony · 5 years

Text

S15 Spec/Discussion

So when the SPHT came out we all got to talking and I had some Thoughts(tm). Some of it is wildly speculatory but potential and interesting. I love the thinkie beans in my server.

I love our little roundtable of speculation and meta that routinely crops up, sometimes I feel like we should record it and make a podcast.

Charlie BreadbutteryYesterday at 9:34 PM

IM YELLING SO MUCH YELLING “you cant do this to the fans!” “i can do anything. im a writer.” FUCKING CHILLS

Leaf is a kittyYesterday at 9:36 PM

Jared's evil smirk has murdered me

Charlie BreadbutteryYesterday at 9:38 PM

yesssss

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:38 PM

So we have Sam in a white suit MoC

Charlie BreadbutteryYesterday at 9:38 PM

btw chucks lame ending is hilarious

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:38 PM

The colt

CastielYesterday at 9:39 PM

THAT WAS A THIng

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:39 PM

G L O R I F I E D F A N B O Y

CastielYesterday at 9:39 PM

I came out of aladdin to that

Charlie BreadbutteryYesterday at 9:39 PM

IM SCREAMING

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:39 PM

Adam and most likely Michael taking in a diner Talking

CastielYesterday at 9:39 PM

Psfuck what anybody says the new aladdin is amazing

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:39 PM

Scruffy endverse Dean

CastielYesterday at 9:40 PM

I jave never Ever Seen such masterful seaming of cartoonverse cgi To real actorsHoly fuck me

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:40 PM

DO YOU REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT ALADDIN RIGHT NOW

Leaf is a kittyYesterday at 9:40 PM

LMAO

CastielYesterday at 9:40 PM

I CAN DO BOTH LOOK

Leaf is a kittyYesterday at 9:40 PM

I AGREE ABOUT ALADDIN

CastielYesterday at 9:40 PM

YOU DONT UNDERSTAND I WISH I WENT TO THAT SHIT HIGH

Leaf is a kittyYesterday at 9:41 PM

but JARED SMIRK IS MURDERING MEI CAN'T STOP LOOKING BACK AT THE VIDEO FOR IT

CastielYesterday at 9:41 PM

Yeah i intend to watch on pc when i canIm mobile rn

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:41 PM

And of course the crypt door being held shut with a screwdriver As direct14.10 parallel

CastielYesterday at 9:41 PM

Like we literally just left aladdin hence the yelling Yes yes Ive got him Im the cage Etc

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:42 PM

GlorifiedFanboy Is that not what I said friggin months ago?!

CastielYesterday at 9:42 PM

On brand a+ dean from whoever wrote that Ill guess Bobo or buckner For glorified fanboy line

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:43 PM

What? Do they read our tweets?

Charlie BreadbutteryYesterday at 9:43 PM

lol

CastielYesterday at 9:43 PM

Bobo reads mine a lot?

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:43 PM

I stg I heard that line and almost screamed

CastielYesterday at 9:43 PM

I never did upload his nerdy video to me in hindsight

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:44 PM

Interesting that they didn't use a single shot of Alex

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:44 PM

No AlexAt all

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:44 PM

So it's not gonna be just a hallucination with burnt out eyes No Billie either

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:45 PM

No empty

CastielYesterday at 9:45 PM

No its full on chuck villain framing its my sound of war vid with s15 footage dhdhdhd

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:46 PM

Yeah well it all blended into inky black at the end But that's hardly conclusive

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:46 PM

True

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:46 PM

Since that happens a lot in trailers

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:46 PM

Maybe that’s for later in the season Or Maybe it’s a big secret

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:46 PM

10 bucks says they abandoned the Cas deal And that's the hill I die on

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:47 PM

Bc that’s how they fight Chuck? They can’t abandon that already It’s too fresh

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:48 PM

To me it read as a gateway to the Empty getting Jack

CastielYesterday at 9:48 PM

Placing bets now. Ep 1-3 is deancas tension over mary and jack and feeling distanced from the winchesters leaves eps 4 and 5. We know he works with sam at least briefly in 6. Deancas reunion in 7 midseason scheduled for 8 or 9. Deancas resolution then

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:48 PM

Before they knew for sure

CastielYesterday at 9:48 PM

Midseason finale whatever theyre keeping in the door

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:48 PM

That it was their final season To possibly stretch the plot accordeon

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:49 PM

Maybe final battle is with the empty and not chuck

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:49 PM

But now they've lost the need for a middle man ie Cas Nah

CastielYesterday at 9:49 PM

Id need more than a promo trailer to figure out if resolving cas is midseason or endgame

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:49 PM

Is amara coming back?

CastielYesterday at 9:49 PM

Yes

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:50 PM

Dabb confirmed it's early

CastielYesterday at 9:50 PM

And deans weird old friend

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:50 PM

She wasn’t there either

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:50 PM

Yeah 15.02 I think Or 04? Very early

CastielYesterday at 9:50 PM

Its as much a mood piece as a trailer

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:50 PM

Was that Becky talking to Chuck?

CastielYesterday at 9:51 PM

Yes

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:51 PM

I think so

CastielYesterday at 9:51 PM

You cant do this to the fans

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 9:51 PM

ITS GLORIOUS

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:51 PM

It sounded like her

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 9:51 PM

It’s her

CastielYesterday at 9:51 PM

We knew she was coming back Well

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:51 PM

Yea

CastielYesterday at 9:51 PM

Speculated educatedly

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 9:51 PM

I’m so mad! I was just about to go to bed!

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:51 PM

When even the crazed fangirl looks sane by comparison

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 9:52 PM

And they dropped this

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:52 PM

Yeah I’ll never sleep now

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 9:52 PM

I HAVE TO

CastielYesterday at 9:52 PM

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:52 PM

Nah I'll head to bed in a few

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:52 PM

No. No sleep

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 9:52 PM

I’ve gotten no sleep the past three days

CastielYesterday at 9:52 PM

Points if they still frame it for a swipe at the bronlies like all the other becky jokes

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:52 PM

I find the fixation on the fan angle a bit weird

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:52 PM

Yaaaaassssss

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 9:53 PM

It seemed framed that way to me Min

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:53 PM

All the bronly jokes pls

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 9:53 PM

But maybe I’m just reading it with my own bias

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 9:53 PM

But it's only 2 pieces of Chuck dialogue so

CastielYesterday at 9:53 PM

Yeah

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 9:54 PM

And he’s a melodramatic fuck

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:54 PM

I’ll forever want to refer to him as “glorified fanboy” Put it on a shirt

CastielYesterday at 9:55 PM

God imagine chuck bringing back kevin as his prophet to take down his word as the gospel of winchester is designed to end only in being felled, and only by the glory of god. He cant finish off his own book to print the new gospel

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:56 PM

Here to say fuck you chuck

CastielYesterday at 9:57 PM

What if we big bounce and he dubs adam the new michael since we saw jack. Can convert humans to angels

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:57 PM

Megalomaniacal Michael?

CastielYesterday at 9:58 PM

Kicking down the castles in his own sandbox as revelations told before, before men found the new gospel of the glory of god. Revelations might not be a prophecy. It may be history.

Lissa JoYesterday at 9:59 PM

Interesting

CastielYesterday at 9:59 PM

Wildly speculatory and just playing but

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:00 PM

Oh the adam Michael idea

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:01 PM

I'm very glad about Chuck being in early episodes Adam is 100% gonna be Michael Cause all the summaries made it sound Like they weren't utilizing him

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:03 PM

It does sound like OG Michael is gonna be a real issue and it makes sense for it to be Adam

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:03 PM

CastielYesterday at 10:09 PM

WHICH THEY MYSTERIOUSLY PLUGGED AT THE END OF THE SEASON

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:10 PM

Yeah but he'd still be Adam and not Michael Just

CastielYesterday at 10:10 PM

if michael is useless to chuck as is, which he may or may not have been lying about MAKEA NEW

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:10 PM

Archangel Adam

CastielYesterday at 10:10 PM

MICHAEL YES

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:10 PM

Oh Doesn't fit with the pic above tho

CastielYesterday at 10:10 PM

Find another Eve. Oh look universal big bounce and I have a new mythology jazz hands Or better a Lilith Also this is literally unstoppable force immovable object logic if chuck can't destroy the human soulzapping the winchesters to death is just a stall game of exhausting futility they've proven they will inevitably doorkick down every afterlife or wherever they're cycled to what if there's like a hilariously extreme mystery spot where you see mini adventures out of whatever afterlife but eventually justtruncated to ridiculous extremes Chuck: -_-

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:18 PM

Like that's a given with all the scattered bits. Either Lucifer Sam and MoC Dean etc become big plot points Or they're part of Redux Mystery Spot

CastielYesterday at 10:18 PM

side eyes hidden mytharc uh

CastielYesterday at 10:18 PM

I really hope we didn't get the MOC Dean thing too close rip

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:19 PM

Why did you have to connect those two promo subplots for meW h y

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:20 PM

Also Cas next to that burnt up body I hope it isn't just Victim Of The Week

CastielYesterday at 10:20 PM

I'm wondering about the "arrogant betrayal" promo line on ep... 3 is it?

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:21 PM

Yeah

CastielYesterday at 10:21 PM

Is it gonna be meaningful or is this like

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:21 PM

Nah

CastielYesterday at 10:21 PM

bringing back Sergei

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:21 PM

PR vagueblog

CastielYesterday at 10:21 PM

from his Byzantium bullshit

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:21 PM

The BL ep is 15.02 tho

CastielYesterday at 10:22 PM

authors sometimes soak up impact of -- oh no

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:22 PM

What

CastielYesterday at 10:23 PM

okay so let's pretend say, bobo or whoever wanted to finish up buckleming's plot point, or at least partially since it's the tie up season, but they knew they had to write misha out for a few episodes and with deancas tensions driving Cas away already, throwing out a Going For Revenge That Will Backfire spin before storming out for a few eps

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:24 PM

But then it would be Dean not being able to forgive the "betrayal"It's gotta be something else Watch it be like

CastielYesterday at 10:24 PM

the betrayal vague blog is about sergei in that thing

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:24 PM

Kevin working for Chuck

CastielYesterday at 10:24 PM

it's the phrasing "arrogant" that catches me

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:25 PM

Most vague summaries hardly fit the actual plot points anyway It's just to sound mysterious

CastielYesterday at 10:25 PM

no but it would be easier to simply not apply an adjective "Castiel deals with a betrayal" is still vague

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:25 PM

Yeah but adjectives give oomph

CastielYesterday at 10:26 PM

arrogant is an odd idea for even the vague bloggiest vague blogger to tilt towards after skimming the content so I really doubt it's like kevin being forced to betray them or something like thatso unless it's about chuck himself, unlikely just too early for that level of RAAA

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:28 PM

Oh right didn't Misha say Cas struggles with this new Chuck reveal

CastielYesterday at 10:28 PM

well yeah thats kinda a duh

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:28 PM

I think the arrogant betrayal is in reference to Chuck

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:29 PM

So maybe it's just oddly phrasing that Yea

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:29 PM

It’s a kinda weird phrasing imo

CastielYesterday at 10:29 PM

like on the one hand cas knows Chuck isn't father of the year so I think on a personal level it's not surprising, it's more the existential level for him previously chuck was a shit dad that was just trying his best in a world far too easy to do his worst, even as god, thinking he was generally trying to be inherently good

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:30 PM

I hope Megatron comes back :)

CastielYesterday at 10:30 PM

that last scrap of faith is also kind of critically attached to his very existance because if god is evil and part of this cruel design what has his entire pre-winchester existence been, and even waxing and waning through it in his time with them

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:31 PM

Yeah I think deep down part of his core sense of self is the idea that he comes from the side of good

CastielYesterday at 10:31 PM

the fundamental loss of "god is good" is kinda quantifiably huger to him, whereas the humans more will have to grapple with "What is free will, did we ever have it"

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:31 PM

And this rips that away

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:32 PM

Unrelated but the promo sorta Nulls the early human Cas idea

CastielYesterday at 10:32 PM

yeah I noticed that, but it was odd

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:33 PM

Yeah I agree

CastielYesterday at 10:33 PM

i'm putting down at least foreshadowing then

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:33 PM

Unless they pulled all of the Misha footage From like ep 1 and 2

CastielYesterday at 10:33 PM

or chuck playing with the light switch for shits and giggles

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:33 PM

He does still have that shotgun

CastielYesterday at 10:33 PM

we know cas has his coat back in like

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:33 PM

Watch Cas come back from his sabbatical

CastielYesterday at 10:33 PM

idkwe've seen him with it back

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:33 PM

With his grace ripped out

CastielYesterday at 10:34 PM

put it in a karambit i mean what

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:34 PM

Snort

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:34 PM

NOT SURE MISHA CAN HANDLE THAT Like on a pure choreography level

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:34 PM

Are you suggesting Misha isnt grace itself?For shame

Dean WinchesterYesterday at 10:35 PM

Not at all COUGH He has a cat-like agility

Mary BADASS WinchesterYesterday at 10:35 PM

LIKE A CAT

CastielYesterday at 10:38 PM

KSJDFksjdf I think younger misha could have but knowing he's always at risk of blowing out his hip probably not so much now like I feel that limitation in my soul

GarthToday at 6:17 AM

Okay so I don't think Amara is a made up character. I think she is Chuck's sister for real (or whatever they claim as siblings) but he used his story to trap her. Help fuel his plot.

Dean WinchesterToday at 6:17 AM

Like to me personally the option of Amara being made up has the best potential for an IC Chuck plot twist Esp since I still hold the idea that he lied about the universe going splat with his death"Writers lie"/"I'm a writer, I can do anything"

GarthToday at 6:18 AM

Well he did admit he's a liar rubs hands together This is gonna be so much fun

Charlie BreadbutteryToday at 6:19 AM

GOD THAT LINE THO

Dean WinchesterToday at 6:19 AM

And that would be a Dabb level retroactive canon ramification Which is sorta his thing

GarthToday at 6:19 AM

Mwahahahaha and he said said to Becky while she went on about "you can't do this to the fans!"

Charlie BreadbutteryToday at 6:19 AM

they make sense at least

Dean WinchesterToday at 6:20 AM

But I'm not sure they wanna go the route of Stripping a female character of her entire agency for male pleasure But I don't see a whole lot of options on how they take Amara out of the playing field Unless Chuck deadass eats her for the joint Godhead

GarthToday at 6:21 AM

Honestly he just might

Dean WinchesterToday at 6:22 AM

But that's like DBZ power level bullshit

Dean WinchesterToday at 6:26 AM

AU!Dean who's a baddy pls

GarthToday at 6:26 AM

Damn trailer successfully tripping us up

Dean WinchesterToday at 6:27 AM

Deadass just have pull the jackass from the 5.04 reality Maybe that's why Lucifer Sam is tied to a chair as well Like Chuck just put him in white clothes to paint a big target for endverse!Dean And it's actually just Sam

Charlie BreadbutteryToday at 6:28 AM

yeah that was my thought too

Dean WinchesterToday at 6:28 AM

BUT THAT IS THE SORTA SPECC THAT'S USUALLY TOO VAGUE FOR ME ALREADY And was that Singer Salvage?

GarthToday at 6:28 AM

We're just throwing things out there and laughing It looked like it might be

Charlie BreadbutteryToday at 6:29 AM

BEN JUST LET LOOSE BUD ITS OK

GarthToday at 6:29 AM

But the new building is throwing it off

Charlie BreadbutteryToday at 6:29 AM

THE CRACKIEST SPEC THE BETTER

GarthToday at 6:29 AM

Something else could have been built thoIt's been yrs

Dean WinchesterToday at 6:29 AM

LOOK MY WHOLE THING IS DOING ANALYSES BY GATHERING EVIDENCE THAT SUPPORTS MY ARGUMENT IT'S SEARED INTO MY BRAIN More cage imagery

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maychorian · 5 years

Note

Hey, so, i hope you're not bothered or annoyed by this, you can really just ignore me if you are... I just wanted to know if you could tell us about the future of yofa, bc I'm a shitty reader and too obsessed by your fic to sit and wait for the next chapter, although you're so amazing and super fast with the uploads. Like, is mcdaniels gonna play a role, or will tim have breakdowns or fights with the others, or anything else that would be okay to share? I'm really sorry for being like this

Ha, you're not annoying. I'm quite pleased to know that I have readers who are impatient for more, truly. The problem is that I don't really have answers for you, because I don't know. I've talked about this on my blog before, but I am very much a seat-of-the-pants kind of writer, or a gardener. I don't make outlines, because it's not fun for me to write like that. When I write a long, detailed outline, I lose all interest in actually writing the story, because it feels like I've already done it. It becomes work instead of play at that point, and fanfiction is very much my playtime.

I like to plant ideas and watch them grow, or dig the story up from the dirt of the subconscious like a big boulder (Stephen King's analogy for how he writes). One of my favorite writing quotes is about how writing a novel is like driving a car at night--you can only see as far as the headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way. I believe that's from E.L. Doctorow, and I don't know who that is, but I agree with that philosophy.

This has the downside of me having tons of WIPs that will probably never be finished, at least one in every fandom I've written more than a one-shot for. But the upside is that I have a lot of fun writing, and I go through the same emotional rollercoaster as my readers. I often feel compelled to keep writing because I want to know what happens next, just like you do.

That's also why I don't have an update schedule. That would require me to have, like, a backlog of chapters, or at least some idea of what's happening next. I tend to write a chapter over the course of three or four hours, give it a cursory reading for typos, and post it immediately. I usually only figure out what the next chapter is going to be about after cogitating on the last one I wrote for a few days. Right now, I'm thinking that the next chapter will be about Tim's friends visiting him at the manor, but I need to read more Young Justice before I feel comfortable writing Conner, Bart, and Cassie, so it might be a while before that chapter comes out. Or I could realize that something else needs to happen first, as has happened several times over the course of the story.

I do have...vague ideas about what might be up ahead in the future. Someday. Maybe. These ideas might or might not happen, or they might be in a different form by the time I get to them. I'll put them under a read more, just in case anyone wants to avoid even possible spoilers.

Edit: Frigging heck, tumblr won’t save the read more line. Whatever, if you don’t want to see possible spoilers, hit J on your keyboard now.

As for McDaniels, he will be returning to the story, but I'm not sure when. It might be at the end, as some sort of catharsis for Tim, or it might be in the middle as part of a plot complication. For now he's too much of a useful motivation for Tim to have anxiety and Jason to want to protect him, therefore keeping Jason in the picture when he might otherwise take off. The family and their allies will keep looking for him, and it's going to be a major frustration and source of friction that he's so hard to find. I definitely have a picture in my head of Tim going out in the city for the first time since the incident and thinking he sees McDaniels, then having an anxiety attack that Jason or someone else will have to comfort him through. That idea has been in my head since very early in the writing process, but who knows if it will happen.

Tim having breakdowns? Very probable. Fights? Maybe. Eventually he and Dick do need to work out the hurt between them. But Dick has promised to let Tim take the lead on that, so it will have to be on his terms, and I don't know when Tim will be ready for that conversation.

I have ideas about Damian. I'm thinking that Tim is going to be very bored, waiting for his body to heal enough that he can do things again. He can't even exercise until his ribs and knee heal up some, he can't swim with his casts, he can only type with one finger, and that kind of hurts...all he's going to be able to do for a while is sit around and watch TV or listen to Jason read to him, and that's going to get old, fast. So he might take an interest in Damian. Damian is puzzling, and Tim likes to solve puzzles. It remains to be seen whether or not Damian will appreciate the attention. Probably not.

But Damian's feelings are evolving, too. He hasn't been in prolonged contact with Tim...ever. And he has promised to be civil, as well. It's going to force them to find new ways to communicate, new ways to be around each other. Jason might also be helpful for bridging the gap there, since he spent time with the League and will probably understand Damian in a way no one else does.

Also, bored Tim results in Jason taking him on rides on his motorcycle. Great bonding. Tim likes to go fast.

Once the casts come off and the pins comes out, Tim's hands are going to be very weak and shaky. He's going to need a lot of therapy, and it's going to be frustrating and painful. Also: hand massages help. (Dick is also going to keep treating his back, trying to minimize the scarring from the whip marks. Because it really, really sucks for a teenage kid to have whip scars.) So they're all going to take turns massaging Tim's hands when they get cramped, and it's going to turn out that Damian is the best at it. Damian is going to be territorial about this, because it's something tangible he can do that is visibly helping, and as much of a brat as Damian is, he also has the heroic, helpful impulse as well. Once the dust settles and Damian and Tim are more like friends and brothers than they have been in the past, Damian will be just as protective of Tim as everyone else in this story. That's the end goal I have for them.

One thing that will happen relatively soon is Bruce enacting a Big Comfy Couch Protocol, or BCCP for short, in order to be a better dad to his children, all of whom have trauma of varying levels. When one of the kids is having a bad day, or feeling fragile, or suffering nightmares or flashbacks or what have you, or just needs their dad for whatever reason, all they have to do is tell Bruce that they need to activate BCCP, or BCC Protocol. Bruce will nod seriously, then set aside at least an hour in his schedule. And they will go sit together on a big comfy couch in a quiet room, just the two of them. It might involve cuddling, or talking, or just being together, whatever the kid needs. But it'll be just the two of them, no work, no books or movies, no distractions. Because Bruce needs to be very deliberate about connecting with and being there for his kids, and putting a structured protocol in place to make sure that happens is a very Batman thing to do.

Tim will probably drag Jason along for his BCCP time, because of the bodyguard thing. (And because Jason would never do it for himself, and Tim knows he needs it and is not even a tiny bit above manipulation to get his way or help other people.) Eventually they're all gonna like it, though.

And...that's pretty much it, so far. I think about this story a lot, so new ideas pop up and float away in my head all the time, but they're mostly about what's going to happen or might happen in the next chapter. Like, I imagined the conversation between Jason and Bruce going a bunch of different ways. Once I actually sat down and wrote it, though, it turned out differently than anything I'd come up with in my head before.

And that's why I like writing this way. It's always surprising. I let the characters go, and they do things I don't expect ninety percent of the time.

#askbox #yofa #writing #Anonymous

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earlgreytea68 · 6 years

Note

Maybe it's bc I'm from a country whose gov wiretapped innocent people they saw as their enemies but I can't believe people PAY MONEY to get spied on so they what? Don't have to press a button?! I'm not angry or anything just absolutely baffled at how many people ACTIVELY choose this dystopian nightmare shit. Things are bad enough already so I just wonder how both those things (anger about fb&owning alexa) fit together. Not attacking you, just genuinely wondering about the thought process (1/2)

Valid question! Here’s my thought process:

First, the Facebook thing is actually less about the collection and sale of my data than...a really, really long tortured relationship with Facebook that needs to end now. Not that I agree with the collection and sale of my data! Because I don’t! But you should know my long history, because I think it explains my thought process.

I registered for Facebook early, when you still had to have an edu email address. I thought I had it locked down, private, friends-only. Then, a few years later, my boss walks into my office and closes my door and gives me a talking-to about “inappropriate Facebook posts.” To be clear, I was never a person, like, posting topless photos on Facebook or something, nor was I complaining about my boss really. It was more like, “Ugh, I have to work all weekend, sorry I can’t go to this party!” And she was like, “THAT IS PRIVILEGED INFORMATION THAT YOU WORKED ALL WEEKEND.” And I was like, ...how are you even seeing my Facebook, you’re not my friend? So (a) I was spooked, because when your boss yells at you because of Facebook, it’s terrifying, and (b) I was completely bewildered that she could even see my Facebook. Upon investigation, it turned out that at the time (and this was a decade ago), if you put down where you work, EVERYONE who also put that place down could see your Facebook, even if they weren’t your friend and your Facebook was friends-only. (I think Facebook has changed that policy now.)

So, terrified, I deleted my Facebook. But this was back when not having a Facebook caused this whole public outcry thing and my friends freaked out and so I gave in and re-started a Facebook, posting very little because I was terrified. But I still used it. Until I got depressed and started therapy. My therapist told me to keep a stress journal, where I wrote down whenever I felt a spike of stress, and going on Facebook consistently showed up in the journal as a source of stress. So, upon my therapist’s suggestion, I stopped going on Facebook. I still kept it instead of deleting it because I didn’t want people to freak out the way they did the first time, but I stopped using it.

Fast-forward many years, and in January of this year, I tried to open a Facebook for the psuedonym I use for novels. Facebook immediately flagged me as suspicious and asked me to prove I was me by uploading a photo. And I was kind of like, ....Why do you need my photo? What’s that going to prove? All I can assume is that, of course, they have a database of what we all look like. How they know I’m not just grabbing a random photo of the person I’m trying to impersonate off the internet is another question entirely. But I was like, Fine, whatever, I don’t feel like fighting with you, Facebook, so I gave up on having a pseudonym page.

And then I started thinking: Why did I still have a Facebook? I never go on Facebook. All the stuff had happened with the election, so it wasn’t like people would freak out anymore if I deleted it, they’d totally get it. And I kind of no longer wanted to give Facebook bragging rights about how many users it has by counting me when I don’t actually use it. And Zuckerberg’s attitude seemed to be that if you didn’t like Facebook, you shouldn’t use Facebook. I COMPLETELY disagree with this sentiment on his part because I think it completely ignores how many people can’t opt out of Facebook at this point, but luckily, I can opt out of Facebook.

...Or so I thought.

Except that I requested deletion of my Facebook, and they confirmed deletion and said I was scheduled for deletion within two weeks, and then...just never deleted my Facebook. Which I only know because they keep sending me emails about me being tagged and people sending me messages (even though I also keep requesting to be unsubscribed from those emails). (And also my friends still on Facebook confirm for me that I’m still on there.) I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to get in touch with Facebook but...you can’t. It’s impossible. Try not being on Facebook and finding ANY contact information for Facebook other than a paper mailing address. If you find the contact info, please let me know!!! They have zero available email addresses, they don’t respond to their Twitter, and the phone number that circulates online is a dangerous scam stealing your social security numbers (which Facebook knows and warns you about but still doesn’t provide you with any way to contact them).

So my anger with Facebook isn’t just about gathering and selling my data, it’s the culmination of years of mistrust and knowing it’s not healthy for me in general and then BEING DENIED MY RIGHT TO DELETE IT AND BEING RENDERED COMPLETELY POWERLESS. Like, the longer this has gone on, and the longer I have realized that there is literally nothing I can do to get Facebook to delete my account, the angrier and angrier I have gotten.

So. That’s Facebook. As for the Alexa, well. You’re right. It sits in my house and is probably recording everything that happens in the house. Which is...basically nothing. I’m only home a few waking hours a day because I work full-time. I travel most weekends, so I’m not there on the weekends. I live alone, so I don’t talk much in my house. I have people over maybe two or three times a year, and then I can unplug the Alexa and stick it out in the garage and I feel relatively okay about that???? I might be kidding myself there, but, if worse comes to worst, I can throw the Alexa out entirely, and I think I’m okay. So I feel mostly in control of Alexa and its eavesdropping on me.

I worry more about the fact that I’m supporting Amazon in the first place, since I disagree with most of Amazon’s policies. I feel really guilty about that and do want to extract myself from the Amazon dependency I developed. My only shopping option in my town was Wal-Mart, and at the time when I moved there a few years ago I thought it was better to support Amazon than Wal-Mart. Now I’m not so sure about that (although I guess the lesson I’ve been learning is that there is no company I really want to give my money to).

I also worry more about the fact that I have a smartphone than an Alexa. I was very, very late to adopt a smartphone--years and years after everyone else had them--because I was very wary of them. I’m used to them now, but I don’t like how much information the smartphone has on me. I’ve given up a little bit, because I just...did. But the information the Alexa has is tiny compared to how much my phone has. And we all know that we have our suspicions that the phones are listening to us the whole time. And I *do* talk on the phone. I don’t talk much in my house, but my phone is the device I use to talk on (I talk a lot while walking around the neighborhood, waiting between classes at work, etc.). So the phone is getting every conversation I have, not the Alexa.

All that said: I don’t know that I can completely disconnect now. I shouldn’t have a smartphone, or a Twitter, or a Tumblr, but I decided that at a certain point what I’m really going to strive to do is be conscious about this technology and work to shape it in better ways. Is this naive and idealistic of me? Yes. Undoubtedly. I have nothing I can say to defend myself on that point. I absolutely should just unplug...but that’s difficult to do, and I do feel like (as the EU is trying here) there are ways to make this technology less dangerous.

Anyway. That’s my thought process. I think we all make the decisions we feel fit what we’ve considered. I don’t care much for Facebook, so it’s easy for me to disconnect (well, it would be if Facebook would let me, which is part of my major Facebook problem). I find Alexa useful and because I don’t do much around it and it’s connected to less stuff than my cell phone to begin with, it doesn’t bother me as much, and I feel like I can change my mind and get rid of it fairly easily. Of course, I could be wrong about that. I always thought I could delete my Facebook at any time, too.

Everyone might get done reading this and think, Wow, EGT is an absurd human being who makes zero sense. That is a completely true statement.

#long post #Anonymous

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poetrybird · 6 years

Text

life update: vacation, final grades, planning for next year

🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨

vacation

i finished my semester on december 11th and then i immediately hopped on a plane and went to visit toronto for a week with my gf and some friends and family! it was sooo much fun, we stayed in an air bnb and went sledding, played in the snow, went to the christmas market, niagara falls, the science center, board game cafes, ate amazing food and just had a nice time overall. it was a great way to start off my winter break and im very thankful for having good people to spend it with. i won’t be posting pictures here but if you follow me on my mainblog @remonts or on my instagram @shumaita then you can see some of my photography.

grades/ end of fall 2017 semester

after i got back, my final grades for the semester were finally uploaded online! out of my four classes i got 3 A’s and one A- which im pretty proud of considering i tried super hard! my GPA only went up from a 3.87 to a 3.88 but it’s better than nothing, esp since any kind of gain is amazing for me at this point (the hardest part is maintaining it/ making it not drop).

i also got an email from my professor about my 17 page paper: she said she loved it and thinks I have a good chance of getting it published to a major journal!!! i am beyond elated that all that hard work resulted in something she thinks is actually insightful and useful to others. ive never written an academic article this long before so im pretty proud of myself, honestly could have cried tears of joy after hearing such kind and supportive feedback. i love what i do as a student. moments like these are what make me truly appreciate my major.

classes in the spring

after winter break im going to be starting my final year of undergrad, since i just have spring and another fall semester before i can graduate. for spring semester ill be taking:

• creative writing advanced workshop

• visual poetry

• 200 lvl lit elective on female protagonists

• editing essentials

as you can see im going to be doing a lot more creative writing and practical work rather than a lot of the research and theory ive been studying the past few semesters. which is good. i need a change, and im excited to start flexing my creative writing muscles again and finally learning how to properly edit stuff. lmao. i feel like this schedule will give me more time to also focus on graduation plans and such since writing based courses are a much different pace than lit analysis courses in regards to the time i usually spend on it and the stress level. not the say that i won’t be anxious and stressed- i definitely will- but atleast i will be doing things that bring me great joy.

plans and goals for next year

• now that i have some time before school starts and the new year begins I want to use this free time to start setting up some healthier habits and things ive been meaning to get around to.

• for one, im going to start eating healthier again. i really let myself go as school got more and more stressful, and ive been not really paying attention to things like sugar and carbs that make me thirsty and gross feeling from over indulging. i just got some new groceries though, to restock the fridge with healthier and yummy options and im feeling very optimistic about it! maybe i can even sort out some kind of meal plan before my new semester starts. i meant to do it earlier but never found the time. something ill also have more time for with my new spring schedule is going to the gymmmmm because i don’t have early ass classes anymore!!!

• i also need to update my bujo and built a better habit of writing in it, as well as organize my photo album. the past year went by so fast and i took a good amount of photos, but not enough and not nearly enough journal entries to go along with it!

• im also going to try to start up a better recreational reading habit before the new year kicks in so i can follow it thru to 2018 and beyond. i want to read atleast 18 books this coming year, not counting my assigned readings for school, which i get a lot of. hopefully this works out bc i feel like ive set the bar at a pretty reachable place! i just miss cozying up with a good book for fun, and not because it has a due date for homework.

• i also reallllly want to find another job in addition to my work study position. i just need more money. tuition is getting harder and harder to pay and i feel like a burden on my family whenever i want to buy something for myself. i think getting a better paying job will make me happier.

that’s all i have to say for the moment (which was a lot, sorry haha). i hope you all do good on your finals and have a wonderful holiday!! please remember to take care of yourself, you’re doing amazing 💕

#my post #studyblr

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bnha-hcs · 7 years

Text

Cat Cafe - Todoroki x fem!reader

I couldn’t really get myself to write anything else gomen. But I have more time this week to actually write?? I only have to work three days thank the gods ahhh. I meant to upload this waaaaaay earlier but I was freaking out bc my homework online was being stupid and I couldn’t find all questions I needed to answer. Rip, i guess I’ll die. Anyways, I hope you enjoy! (I swear my faves and cats are my aesthetic ahhh)

Words: 2,170

You were way too excited for your own good. And I mean, strangely excited to the point where you found yourself not being able to sleep the night before. You tossed and turned for what seemed like ages until you decided to play some sort of weird game of switching between the same three apps on your phone before you decided to just get up and accept your sleepless fate. This happened a lot, whether it was for a good reason or out of anxiety for a test, you never found yourself to be able to keep still and prevent your thoughts from straying endlessly.

After getting out of bed you found yourself stumbling into your kitchen and lazily flicking on the lights. It took you a second to contemplate the choices before of what to make yourself to eat. Looking at the clock you saw it to be roughly close to six in the morning. You wouldn’t be meeting your boyfriend for another three hours so wasn’t like you didn't have time contemplate what to do. To be honest you were seriously thinking of texting him to see if was awake, but knowing how much of a light sleeper he was you’d just be waking him up. You opted to just make yourself a cup of tea or really just anything warm at this point.

While waiting for your dumb drink to finish cooling down you shuffled over to the tv and turned it on. The blaring noise of the tv startled you considerably and you rushed to fumble with the remote to turn it down. Your face was flushed slightly from your own embarrassment despite the fact that you were alone and the feeling of adrenaline rushed through you. Well, there was no way you could go back to sleep now. You strolled back into the kitchen and got your drink along with some sort of snack before heading back into your living room and plopped down on the couch.

Just as you had gotten comfortable you heard a knock on your door. You squinted out of confusion but got up and made your way to the door nonetheless. When you opened the door you were surprised to see your boyfriend standing there, looking a little disheveled, or as disheveled as a pretty boy like him could look. His hair looked a little bit more ruffled and out of place than usual but it honestly made him look even more charming. You also noticed his eyes betrayed some sort of vague tiredness that you weren’t extremely used to seeing.

“Shouto? What are you doing here?” You asked quickly moving out of the way to let him in.

“I had a feeling you’d be up this early.” He replied in his usual tone. “Did you not get my text?”

“Uh… no?” You squeaked out before rushing to look at your phone on the kitchen table. Sure enough there were a few unread texts from your boyfriend. You felt a little embarrassed.

There was a groan from you as you locked your phone and rested your head against his shoulder. He gave you a quizzical look and went to comfort you by giving you a few reassuring pats on your back.

“Don’t worry about it.” He said with a small chuckle. “It worked out anyways.”

“It’s because you know me so well.” You said with a fake sentimental sniffle. “I’m so proud.”

You couldn’t see but he made a sort of lost expression on his face before he realized you weren’t actually about to cry. Sometimes he couldn’t tell with you… One time you had burst into tears after seeing a miniature fake cup of coffee in one of those new jewelry stands at the mall and it nearly gave him a heart attack. You were probably going to pull the same thing today since the two of you were going to a cat cafe after weeks of you trying to set up a day to go.

He felt you shift and go to give him a hug to which he went to return, although he was a little surprised by your sudden gesture. You buried your face in his shoulder and let out a small content sigh after inhaling his scent. He always smelled like something refreshing like mint or eucalyptus… It made you question whether or not you should start being one of those people who pretty much bathed in rose water so you could smell like some sort of spa goddess. But to be honest you didn’t have time to be the self care deity you’ve always wanted to be because of school, seeing how you barely had time to fit even this date into both of your schedules.

“It’s nice to see you this early without it being something related to school.” You murmured, squeezing him a little tighter. He returned your affection wholeheartedly before he pressed a kiss to your temple.

“Yeah, it’s been awhile since I’ve been able to hold you like this, too.” Shouto replied quietly.

The two of you stood like that for a little bit longer, trying to make up for lost time during the semester. But you’d need a different day for the other sort of attention the two of you had been craving. You parted and went to look at your phone again. A little time had passed, but not enough so that you could head out early. At least now you could chug the rest of your drink and scarf down our choice of snack so you could get out of your pajamas. You were sure you looked like a right mess considering you hadn’t changed or even washed your face. Walking over you picked up your now slightly warm drink and chugged about half of it. It didn’t really taste that great now that it had been sitting there for a little bit.

“You can change the channel, I need to get ready anyways.” You offered to your boyfriend while swirling the contents of your drink.

Shouto gave you sort of a lost look and you realized he didn’t really watch tv much. Habits were habits though and you always told your friends to change the channel if they wanted to to. Chugging the rest of your drink you hurried off to your room and picked out your outfit. A simple large sweater and jeans since it was a little cold outside this morning. You threw that on and then sauntered to the bathroom to take care of of your hygienic needs so you wouldn’t look like you just rolled out of bed. Not that you really cared if you did or not but you were sure your boyfriend didn’t want to walk around with goblin looking you…

You returned in record time to find Shouto messing with the ends of his jacket, looking a little sleepy himself. He could’ve gone with a few more hours of sleep and you felt bad for making him get up so early on your only days off. So you plopped down next to him on the couch and snuggled up to him. At least you could snuggled with him for a good while before you had to get up and go anywhere.

---

Time seemed to float on by precariously fast and you found yourself a little heartbroken to have to get up already. Looking over at your boyfriend you were even more saddened by the fact that you had to wake him up seeing as he had fallen asleep next to you on the couch. Luckily you moved enough so that it only gently jostled him awake and his sleepily rubbed his eyes. Too cute…

“We gotta gooooo.” You drawled sweetly, nudging his side softly.

He only hummed in response and you left his side to grab your keys and wait by the door. He trailed after you, obviously trying to kick of the remnants of sleep so he could keep up with your excited demeanor.You both slipped on your shoes before heading off on your way to the cat cafe. You were practically skipping you were so excited. You had always seen them online and in the news and such but you had never had the pleasure of going yourself. But now was the time! It was the ideal date for you and being able to go with your sweetheart was arguably the best feeling in the world right now.

It didn’t take long for you to get there either. The place was remarkably close to your house meaning you’d be able to stay longer. The second you walked in, hand in hand with Shouto, you nearly burst into tears right then and there. A lovely little calico kitty had greeted you upon entry and thrown herself at your feet. She meowed brightly and rolled around like a gleeful little slug. You cooed and called at the cat immediately as your boyfriend looked over the place for a spot to sit. You buried your hands into the plush fur of the cat before you which earned you a few playful swipes and meows.

“There’s a spot over by the cat tree.” Shouto informed you. You hummed and stood back up to look.

“Then let’ go, there’s so many over there…!” You chirped, practically racing over there.

A large white cat was sitting in a hammock by the window to which you stopped to pet. He was obviously sunning himself in the morning rays because he seemed a little perturbed by your sudden appearance. He let a out a gruff meow and sniffled at your hand before deeming it worthy of petting him. You personally felt honored and took the blessing in stride. Shouto approached and got the approval of the white cat as well, going to scratch the side of the cats face and then under the chin.

You Skipped over to your table afterwards and took a look at the menus- everything appropriately named and cat themed for the cafe. It was all a little too much and you felt the tears welling in your eyes.

“I’m going to cry it’s too cute.” You sniffled. Your boyfriend shook his head.

“You’re too cute…” He said.

“E-Eh?” You stammered out, “Since when did you become such a smooth talker?”

You puffed out your cheeks to try and distract from the fact that you were now a little flustered. Shouto didn’t comment on it, instead going to tuck a piece of your hair behind your hair to show your pretty face. The cats of the cafe were vying for your attention, but you could only pay attention to the duo colored hair besides you. It’d been awhile since your heart had started pounding like this in your chest and if it wasn’t for the insistent meowing of the cats then you were sure he’s be able to hear it, too.

“It’s true, you’re always cute.” He said. You felt your face flare up in another rush of heat.

Was he trying to kill you? You averted your gaze and nervously fiddled with your fingers, going to push them against each other over and over again. You had no idea what to say or do next. You spotted another cat, trotting over to you with all due haste and noticed something special about its eyes. You picked the kitty up, and held it over to the boy beside you.

“Look it’s you.” You said with a small smile.

Sure enough, it was a cat that looked very similar to him. Shouto seemed transfixed on the heterochromic eyes of the cat and went to hold it in his lap. He already seemed really attached to it and the look in his eyes told you he was unusually excited about it. You laughed and looked at the other cats in the cat tree by the two of you. There were so many cats…

For the rest of the time you sort of got into a competition on who could find the cutest cat and compare it to the other. You didn’t win, mostly before the whole gesture was too much for your poor little heart and you found yourself too flustered to continue. And you swore Shouto was enjoying himself a little too much afterwards. But it was nice, and afterwards you headed back to your house for a much needed cat nap. You found your lack of sleep had caught up to you about halfway through your second piece of coffee cafe and nearly fell asleep in a pile of cats.

Just before you fell asleep back on the couch in your house you felt a warm sensation on your lips and realized it was a kiss. The sensation made your heart flutter, although it was short lived. Not a second later you felt the grip around your waist tighten and a smile etched onto your face. Nothing was better than a day of cats, sweets, and your dear boyfriend.

#bnha imagines #bnha scenarios #bnha #todoroki shouto #mha imagines

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drtemperancebrennans · 7 years

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Anyways, as most of you are already aware of by now, last weekend, after nearly 5 months of planning and stressing over every little detail about, a group of us from Australia (@boothseeleybooth, @seeleybooths, @boothseeley + three of our other friends on twitter: @ohhelloarianna, @iamlladoc, @bianca_proudman and I) had the amazing opportunity to spend an entire weekend at Supanova Melbourne with David Boreanaz, a weekend that we liked to call the ‘David weekend’. And as I’m writing this, it’s been exactly one week since the last time we saw him face-to-face, and we’ve all pretty much spent the whole of last week reminiscing over every little thing that happened during those 3 days, which I’ve tried my best to recap about under the cut below:

Day 1 (Friday, April 28th)

David was only scheduled to appear at Supanova on Saturday and Sunday, aka the official days of Supanova, however, we had only recently found out from the Gold Coast Supanova (which took place a week before) that David would be present at the preview night on Friday as well. Luckily, most of us had planned to fly in from our respective cities on Thursday/Friday morning, so we were ecstatic to learn that we might be able to meet David earlier than intended. Originally, we had all purchased the Saturday pass (which included one photograph token, one autograph token, and guaranteed entry into his panel) on the day the tickets were released, however, as we got closer to the day, we made some… pretty hefty last minute purchases for extra photograph/autograph tokens to maximise our time there (plus there’s also the fact that this was literally a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity since no one from the cast ever comes to Australia haha). ANYWAYS, I ended up with 3 photograph tokens (one with Danika on Friday, a solo photo with David on Saturday (as originally planned) and a last group photo (with Alysha, Danika and Nicole) on Sunday (the maximum number of people we could have in a pic was 4 + David, otherwise, we would have had all 7 of us be in a photo with him heh).

We all met up at our hotel on Friday afternoon and headed to Supanova afterwards. Alysha had purchased an extra photograph token during his first photograph session on Friday, which we later found out (after a series of near heart attack tweets and text messages from Supanova) would be delayed to 6pm, and with a last-minute announcement of an interview during the Opening Night ceremony, which obviously made us all very happy. Anyways, we had arrived at Supanova close to 6pm, wherein the volunteers then made us rush even more to the convention hall at the back of the Showgrounds (where Supanova was being held) so she would get there in time for the photo. Unfortunately, we couldn’t get a glimpse of David then while she was lining up as he was behind these black curtains and the photo session went pretty quickly, buttttttt he did mention that he LOVED her Bones shirt (and later told each of us the same thing) because we were all wearing them) so that was asdfghjkl moment #1.) Immediately after that was the autograph sessions which both Nicole and Alysha had tokens for, so we rushed there after AND THAT’S WHEN WE ALL GOT OUR FIRST GLIMPSE OF HIM AND I CAN’T REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED AND IDK HOW LOUD IT WAS BUT I KNOW I SCREAMED BC OMG SCHSJHSJHSF HE WAS RIGHT THEREEEEEEEEEEEEE. IN HIS RED CHECKERED SHIRT AND HIS HEAD BENT DOWN AND WE LITERALLY JUST STOOD THERE GAWKING FROM AFAR BC... YEAH IT WAS UNREAL!!!) So, yeah, the rest of us were lucky enough to be able to stare at him from afar (couldn’t take photos of him then though unfortunately) bc there weren’t many people in line anyways, unlike how it would be later on saturday/sunday). BUT THEN SOMETHING AMAZING HAPPENED (AKA HIGHLIGHT OF DAY #1). As David got up to leave for the interview, Danika shouted ‘DAVID!’ and he aCTUALLY TURNED, LOOKED IN OUR DIRECTION AND WAVEDDDDDDD. And then someone said ‘we’re back!’ to him (our first of many times that weekend HAHAHAHA) and HE SMILED SO WIDE AND SAID IT BACK AND HE POINTED AT OUR SHIRTS AND FBI BADGES THAT WE HAD ON AND DID A PUNCH SIGN AND HOLY SHIT IT WAS THE BEST THING EVER. I just stood there gobsmacked bc I literally couldn’t believe what was happening, and really, it was only like a minute long perhaps??? BUT IT WAS AMAZING (you can read more about our reactions here and here). Afterwards, we ran off straight to the Opening Night preview (which had people mentioning the name ‘David’ 8474474374646 times and made us all jump but it wasn’t the correct David, lol. Afterwards, he finally came on stage and had his interview which lasted for about 10 minutes or so, then we left and Danika and I had our photo with him!!! Although, seeing how HUGE he was for the first time while he’s literally right in front of us is something I’ll probably never forget. Anyways, yeah, we took the photo, he complimented us on our shirts and I said to him ‘you might have seen our friends in the same shirts before too’ and he was like ‘yeah I did!’. And that was it. We picked up our photos after, left the Showgrounds and went for dinner/back to our hotels.

(photo credit: Alysha)

Day 2 (Saturday, April 29th)

Aka our DAVID BOREANAZ VIP PASS DAY! This was the day we had been dreaming about for monthsssss, and it was finally here!! We got to the Showgrounds bright and early by 9am, eventhough the day wasn’t gonna start until 10am, but it was ALREADY PACKED. We got in, sporting our Jeffersonian lab coats, and went to line up for the photograph sessions. As you can imagine, the line was FILLED with Buffy/Angel fans everywhere, and we were one of the few Bones fans in sight, which I think is also what made David remember us after haha. So anyways, we all filed in one after the other for our photo with him, and as soon as he saw Arianna (and all of us behind her) he said ‘hey, you girls are back!’. And then when it came to my turn, he said to me ‘hey, Brennan!’ (since I was the only one in the group who had ‘T Brennan’ embroided on her labcoat and had a Temperance Brennan access pass) and then he put his arm around me and I literally fROZE RIGHT THEN AND THERE AND THEN I PUT MY ARM AROUND HIM AND AM FAIRLY CERTAIN I EITHER STEPPED ON HIS SHOE/KICKED IT AT THE SAME TIME (AND DIDN’T REALISE TILL AFTERWARDS FML) AND WE POSED AND I ACTUALLY FORGOT HOW TO SMILE BUT I DIDN’T CARE BECAUSE SFHJFHJHFJJDHSUHSUSGDHGHGYGYGSDH OH MY GOD. Anyways, we all left squealing because we were like ‘HE REMEMBERED US, GUYS HE REMEMBERED US!!!’ Then we got our photos, and went to line up in the autographs line which was HUGEEEEEEEEE and we waited for almost half an hour I think but then it came to our turn and this time, because I was the first in line amongst all of us, he looked up to me, saw the rest of us and saID ‘HEY, THERE’S MY…… SOMEWHAT PEOPLE’’ AND WOW I ALMOST DIED RIGHT THEN AND THERE!!!!! He then signed my S3/S4 Official Companion book on the photo of him and Emily, and signed everyone else’s, and we all left to go line up for his panel (ps I’d also sneakily recorded him saying those words to us during the autographs and was pretty happy to learn that it was now on my phone foreverrrrrr).

We were actually like, 2 hours early for his panel and the volunteers informed us that we could leave to go roam about first if we wanted to but we were like????? LOL AS IF WE CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE??? So we still hung around and waited and got told to move 98989776652 times but finally got in and were seated at the back whilst waiting for the panel before David’s to finish. When they finally said we could move to our seats, Alysha and I managed to rush forward quickly, but everyone else was unexpectedly held up by this extremely rude lady. In the end, we were seated in the middle of the third/fourth rows (fifth/sixth rows if you counted the two VIP rows) and was pretty upset about that. But anyways, the panel started and DAVID CAME OUT AND HE WENT AROUND THE ROOM HIGH-FIVING PEOPLE’S HANDS and we were all screaming and shouting for him. The panel (of which 90% was recorded by yours truly, and uploaded here) was pretty good, mostly because of how funny he was/is, although unfortunately, there were barely any Bones questions (which I’m sure annoyed him too, at least, judging from his reaction to the Booth vs Angel question in particular hehe). He did do this AMAZING thing 10 minutes into the panel, when he was talking about trolling the streets of Melbourne disguised as Angel (people shouting) vs as Booth (which we all went ‘yeahhhhhhhh wooooooo’) and he immediately said ‘alright, where are MY squints?’ Which WE ALL THEN SCREAMED BECAUSE HOLY SHIT DID HE MEAN US??? YES YES SJFHSJHFHHSFHHFJHSFJFF. (Further proof that he meant us btw: he then asked about Bianca, who had earlier in the day told us how impressed David himself was during her autograph session, since she had on a Flyers hat, FBI shirt, Booth socks, Vans etc, and he spotted her from onstage and was like ‘right there THAT GANG’ (aka us) despite having been informed just how difficult it is to spot people from onstage because of the glaring lights etc). OF COURSE, we got SO EXCITED and was mind-boggled because he called her up on stage AND STAYED ONSTAGE WITH HIM FOR THE ENTIRE PANEL AFTER!!!!!! #goals (she also got an amazing souvenir from him after the whole panel, which made her, and us, very happy about of course).

Some other exciting things that happened in the panel: a little girl actually asked him point blank ‘why did you finish Bones?’ which made us all squeal because YES FINALLY A NON-BUFFY/ANGEL QUESTION. David answered her in a diplomatic manner of course, but he did end the question by saying ‘going forward, you never know what may happen with that show’. (At that point, I was like, HAH TAKE THAT B&A fans! Ps I’m sorry if this comes off as a little mean-spirited, but it honestly gets really sickening to hear question after question after QUESTION regarding Buffy/Angel; we weren’t lucky enough to get picked otherwise we would have asked him Bones questions ourselves. But (and this is my own personal observation from the two panels I was there for) it is very clear that David DEFINITELY prefers Bones and enjoyed answering Bones questions far more than he did B&A ones (who can blame him though?), but we all already knew that of course :) The other one was the aforementioned Angel vs Booth question, as well as some other Bones questions relating to Booth’s cosmic balance sheet and the things he took from set. At the conclusion of the panel, David announced that he would be doing a raflle the next day, called ‘Tea and Socks with David Boreanaz’ where the winner of the raffle would get a pair of Booth’s socks from him as well as a 15-minute chat with him over a cup of tea in between photograph sessions/autograph signings. We decided to try our luck of course, because why not right? Later on, we went around to look for any Bones merchandise for sale and unfortunately, could only find one thing: a printed shirt that said ‘always trust a squint’, which both Alysha and I decided to get after. We then headed back to our respective hotels for an early dinner + some Bones watching because hey, that’s the one thing that what we all love the most right? :)

(photo credit: Arianna)

Day 3 (Sunday, April 30th)

Arguably THE BEST DAY OF ALL. Honestly, this was the one day that we had the least expectations for, since we didn’t have the Day pass, and therefore, weren’t guaranteed entry into the panel, so we knew that we had to make sure we got there early enough to queue up (after having checked out of our respective hotels as well). So many things could have gone wrong, and really, they almost did, and yet, we didn’t know why or how, but THIS HAPPENED:

(photo credit: Sandra)

Yes, I know, WHAT THE SSFHHUFGYKKLADUR THIS CAN’T BE REAL HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? WHAT IN THE DAMN SHDUSHFUHUFHYUEIE SORCERY QTYEEIEUOEOEUIEUEBCNK HOWWWWWWWW? (if you had told any of us this 5 months ago, or 3 weeks ago, heck THE DAY BEFORE EVEN - we would not have believed you. and rightly so)

Anyways, I’m getting ahead of myself here (sorry, the excitement level of writing this recap just sHOT UP THE MINUTE I GOT TO SUNDAY heh). Sunday started out with each of us arriving at various times in the morning, with David’s panel due to start at 1pm. Alysha had another autograph session with David, and once all of us were together, we decided to go in to the panel before David’s (bless Nolan North honestly) to ensure we had good seating (preferably aisle seats that were as close to the stage as possible). We sat in the panel for almost an hour, and then when the time came for the panel to end, to our horror, the moderator announced that if we were here for David’s panel AND DIDN’T HAVE THE DAY PASS had to go outside and join the queue immediately. You can imagine just how devastated we got after we heard that, and looked at each other frantically, but decided to ignore the announcement anyway, heh. Unfortunately, we could only get in the seventh/eight rows (ninth/tenth if you count VIPs) because we really wanted aisle seats as well, and the front rows were already taken up. But honestly, it was a great thing that we didn’t go further up front because they were meant for the people who had the Sunday pass (these people wore purple wristbands) and not the general public/people with the Saturday pass (yellow wristbands, which we had). A lady actually came around to check our wristbands and informed the people who were seated in front of us about the restrictions, and we were so afraid that she would catch us too and kick us out (at this point, I held my phone to my ear and pretended to speak to someone else on the other end of the line, desperately hoping that she would leave us alone, heh). THANKFULLY, she was interrupted by someone else, and by the time she came around again it was almost time to start the panel so we were safe. Phew.

The moderator came on stage and asked us all if we were excited and then proceeded to say ‘let’s hear from the Buffy fans’ (cue screams), ‘let’s hear from the Angel fans’ (cue louder screams)…… and then, Arianna whispered to us that we should stand up……. he said ‘let’s hear from the Bones fans!’… we all stood up and screamed as loud as we could. He called us manic afterwards, heh, but we didn’t care because how else we are gonna show how much more dedicated we are and stand out from the B&A crowd, right? :)

Anyways, David came in (didn’t do the high-five around the room unfortunately) and did some really goofy stuff on stage (like when he started dancing and then did this crazy butt rub across the stage which made us all LOL) and then about 5-10 minutes in, decided to come off the stage and do the moderator’s job by going around the room to ask questions. He went off to the left side of the stage first, where a girl asked him a question about if he was as good as Booth is at shooting and stuff, and then he walked towards the aisle. At this point, we were all going crazyyyyyy because he wAS SO CLOSE. As he got closer, Alyssa decided to shout ‘we’re back’ and we all got the signal and joined in and DAVID NOTICED US AND WAS LIKE ‘HEY THE SQUINT SQUAD IS BACK!’ (cue massive fangirl screams) AND THAT’S WHEN THE UNBELIEVABLE HAPPENED - HE INVITED US ALL TO COME ON STAGE WITH HIM!!!!! AND WE WERE LIKE WHAT???? ARE YOU FOR REAL??? OMG OMG - SO WE FOLLOWED HIM GOT ON STAGE, AND BECAUSE I WAS first in line, he asked me for my name and I said ‘Anisha’. AND THEN HE SAID TO ME ‘YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO SAY EMILY DESCHANEL’. (I STOPPED BREATHING THEN BECAUSE OHHHH NMFYYYFHFJ GOOOOODDD DID DAVID BOREANAZ JUST SAY ‘EMILY DESCHANEL’ RIGHT TO MY FACE??? LIKE WE HAD BEEN WANTING TO HEAR HIM MENTION THE CAST (AND ESPECIALLY EMILY) ALL WEEKEND EXCEPT WE COULDN’T BC OF THE LACK OF BONES QUESTIONS AND THE FIRST TIME HE SAYS IT IS TO US ON STAGE, RIGHT TO MY FACE????? BYE). And he went around the room asking each of us the same thing:

Danika: Emily Deschanel.

David: Okay, you stay here.

Alysha: I’m Emily Deschanel.

David: There can only be one. Now, go sit down.

Alyssa:….. Camille?

David: Okay, go sit down, that’s not a character. OH YES, IT IS, CAM! YOU STAY!

Arianna: I’m Michaela Conlin.

David: Okay, you can stay!

Nicole: Jack Hodgins.

David: You’re not a guy. You can go sit down.

Bianca: Booth.

David: You’re… a Flyers fan, you can go sit down.

And then he pretty much told the entire audience that we had been there all weekend long and asked them to give us a big round of applause (AND PS HE CALLED US AWESOME IN FRONT OF AT LEAST 800 PEOPLE). And I thought, okay, that’s over now, right?

DING DONG NO IT’S NOT. He then asked us to do our ‘best Bones imitation’ (BONES!! BECAUSE ONLY HE/BOOTH GETS TO CALL HER THAT AND HE SAID ‘PRETEND YOU’RE EMILY, FOCUS. ALRIGHT, I’LL COME IN AND I’LL BE BOOTH’ AND ALSO WHILE GESTURING TO ME AT ONE POINT HE LITERALLY SAID ‘COME ON, BONES’ IN THE EXACT WAY BOOTH SAID TO BRENNAN JUST BEFORE THEY WENT TO THE ALTAR TO GET MARRIED I’M??? SDGYSGYFGSYFYYFY). So, I was the first person who was put on the spot for that. He used the $600 orange chair as the ‘dead body’ and I pretended to examine it and I said ‘anthropologically speaking’… and he was like ‘hold on I didn’t finish, you got a little too excited’ (yeah of course I would be????!!!???) and he stayed in character as Booth and my brain had literally turned into mush by then, so the first thing I said was ‘Uhm the trabeculae looks really umm… disgusting right now’ (WTF RIGHT??? Apparently the audience and David thought so too) and I continued by saying ‘Cause of death is strangulation to the um, scapula’… which at least impressed him, so I could get off stage after and film everyone else (my phone was in my pocket the entire time, so everything else was caught on audio beforehand). Arguably the best imitation was Arianna’s ‘I don’t know what that means’, which had David go ‘AHHH! I don’t know what that means! I like that one’. By the time the whole stint was over and we got back to our seats, we had lost all sense of what was happening around us, and didn’t plan on recovering anytime soon heh. I tried recording more after, but got told off 73746367746 times by a lady who even at one point, made sure I was deleting the videos I caught (luckily, I had somehow scrolled up in my photos app, and thus, only had to delete videos I had from some of my friends, which she didn’t know of course hehe. So all the David stuff was safe).

The panel went by pretty quickly after, which you can hear about here, here and here, as Arianna could only get audio recordings too lest she would have been caught and told off so many times like I was.) Some of the highlights included him saying things like ‘your journey of saying goodbye to these characters for now’ when chatting with the cast whilst directing the finale and him mentioning that ‘maybe we’ll find out about (Booth’s watch, introduced in the Pilot) more someday’ since it couldn’t be incorporated into the finale, indicating that he’s inclined to do a reunion too someday, which made us all very happy of course.

End of panel and the four of us Tumblr peeps headed to the photo area once more to get our last photo taken, but were informed that due to how long the line was, we might not make it to the front of the line in time for David to head off for the raffle session, but they said we could come back for the later photo session and they would still honour our tokens. So that’s what we did, left and went to wait for him at the raffle. We didn’t win, of course, but after what happened during the panel, who could complain really? Finally at close to 4pm, after trying to collectively calm each other down, we headed over to the photo area and waited in line. FUN FACT: If the line had moved a little quicker, our photo would have been taken at eXACTLY 4.47PM, but instead, we were a couple of minutes late. Despite that, when we walked in and David saw us, he immediately said ‘alright, there they are. Squinty-cized *nervous laugh* (which was utterly adorable to hear in person btw!!) He held his arms out and held us aLL TIGHTLY AND WE TOOK THE PHOTO. We thanked him for everything and they (his manager, who was smiling by then lolol, and the Supanova volunteers) said we had one more photo and we went back again for another one. But then they said that someone had blinked (and this happened a number of times, no idea who it was though) so we ended up taking 5 or 6 photos with him holding onto us all and me gRASPING ONTO HIS ARM TIGHTLY (IT’S HUGE BTW, AS IF YOU DIDN’T ALREADY KNOW THAT) and I know we thanked him 683683992 times especially since we held up the line because of that hehe. We left and became really nostalgic because wow, that was our last time with him??? (BUT THERE WAS MORE TO COME HAHA)

We met up with everyone else after and while sitting on the steps, decided to recreate the pilot shot which you can see below. That whole time, we were also waiting for Bianca to finish her photo session with David, however, little did we know that she’d left minutes before we tried calling her. We were gonna start heading back after, when we noticed a local celebrity pass us, and that’s when Arianna said why don’t we go to the autographs and see if we can have one last look at him, or otherwise, he would actually be passing the very steps we were sitting on right then. So we went in, Arianna and I were walking slower in the back while the rest were up front, but then they ran back past us heading out shouting ‘IT’S DAVID, IT’S DAVID’. We caught him leaving just in time and he said goodbye to us, in yet ANOTHER SURPRISING MOMENT (seriously, this whole day was filled with unexpected events!!) And…. that was the last we saw of him. The end.

We all parted ways after, heading back to our respective homes/cities/countries. All in all, though, I know I will never forget this weekend, and every little bit that happened (hence this lengthy recap so I can always go back and reminisce heh). It was truly a dream come true, something I never in my wildest dreams EVER anticipated to happen, let alone that anyone from the cast (much less David) would come to Australia. And yet, he did, and all these crazy things happened. I can’t imagine not having met him, and I can’t imagine ever experiencing this whirlwind weekend without any one of the six gorgeous individuals I had the pleasure of doing it with. It’s been an honour, and a true privilege you guys.

And as David himself said…… ‘Squints unite!’

Peace out xx

(photo credit: Arianna’s phone 😅)

#David Boreanaz #bonestv #supanova australia #david weekend #personal #rambles #soz this took me like... 1 week to write #this week was hellllllll #i want to go back so bad :(#also this gets pretty long haha you have been warned

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