queenofallwitches

[queenofallwitches]

2017, 10th of November

- the trauma recovery manifesto

Therapy for trauma: enter at own risk.

A venomous tale toward

the gush of a stream (raging river more like it) of bad life decisions, to remind me why I fight hard to keep the other people who live in me at bay.

The one who wrote the above:

I always keep her hushed,

but at moments when the beasts are restless,

she comes up gasping for air.

Like:

Childhood murmurs

Growing in a chorus,

Trembling,

Terror tormenting them,

when they finally open their core to expose that maggoted wound.

They are given no other option but to confront

permeating,

pulsating

nervous aching,

palpitating

the omitted detail from 10 years of carefully avoiding the detailed depth of her darkness came out to be tested.

therapist  (the-rapist)

bad therapy?

evading the reality?

maybe another consequence of childhood became apparent in avoidance behaviour? or repeating old patterned that took me away from confronting my demon.

ten years to mend

it was hard to clean.

or maybe it took that long to dig through the “presenting problem”

either way, what i had left to hide behind,

went away March this year.

a front, no more.

My one lesson?

never again do I ignore the intuition.

once more,

I took a risk,

opened up

to a the-rapist

who reacted to my pain in a way that painted him a common sociopath,

devoid of authenticity

denied me of the right to tell my truth,

then replaying the patterned schematic sequence,

to enact inevitable re-traumatization.

but I am driven to make it through.

at any cost after making it this far.

I am told, the hardest part was over.

ending after I went back to confront the the-rapist

eight months later.

even after I found a new therapist in the midst of my breakdown

who provided support and empathy and a technique called “brain spotting” ( a form of EMDR)

I thought I could transfer the problem to him. and never go back to the other again, but after 5 times of seeing the new, information-packed, educated, up-to-date, trauma-informed therapist I kept finding myself arguing with the one prior

,

who lit the blazing fire.

why could he rent a place in my brain?

when he had not even been aware of the gore, blood

after bleeding the membrane and going deeper than deep.

about the fact,

he had evoked a

vicious, violent, volcano

one that laid dormant

deep in the fire and ice-ocean.

It had to be dealt with.

if it kept internally tormenting me eight months later.

Additionally, studying and training to be a therapist myself I knew the truth and confronting him would be the key to liberty,

I had to go back.

he had to know.

Thi was a neural pathway recoding exercise bc old me would be the kind to run and hide and avoid avoid avoid.

no longer.

he claimed denial, unaware the implication of what he did.

apologized over and over for, about 7 times

for the thing he didn’t even notice

that was:

neglecting my wounded child.

but it didn’t matter

when the damage was done.

the month, upon, month forgotten

after months left in amnesia,

mending, descending to my own demise.

to avoid inflicting the final ending.

ending of: the end: I mean of my life

death of my own being.

i had to go back.

to find out why.

but I made it,

I cannot perceive whether it is a tool for good, helpful for the resurrection of all the dead little girl lost, who lived in me. or another attempt at a fellow human destroying me.

And doesn’t he know about how hard it was to even open up?

I never learnt to trust people to begin,

let alone believe them by the words they utter

TALK CHEAP,

action reveals the reality.

behaviour always revealing a person true motivation.

Made lore for a human cannot convey things to me via word alone.

WORDS = no indication of truth

If he had read the timeline,

he might have realized,

that given my own life,

then they never have been worth a penny.

Him telling me “he didn’t mean it” meant nothing.

“he never read it”

only made it more alienating.

The real learning experience from this was:

TRUST YOU,

and ALWAY rely on your flawless intuition.

I learnt to battle the dark

demonic

menacing mirrored memory

hiding in the brain

not final, but finite enough that I can now trust who I am,

but even then he dared question

the validity of memory

for when i came back he brought up the false memory fallacy,

repeating the inoculation of

the indoctrinated evil coverup of the book of the black lie: by pulling a

ralph underwager on me, imitating the dirty paedophile defender.

he took the darkest pieces of me

buried under the organ that resides

behind my tendons,

bones

flesh.

I had to deconstruct

deprogram

simplify divided part upon part,

while I faced academic information that contradicted what he had done,

triggered me,

why can I not find help or support?

and couldn’t even configure how to enact once automated daily decisions.

afraid and alone

console and weep hoarded pain held for what felt like aeons

no end

deliver my own rebirth

and reprogram from the rancid torment flooding into my limbic system.

ceased to eat,

sleep,

or function.

the husk of a human

at the end of her tether.

does that look like a person who made this up?

He then tried to tell me that.

I had made it up,

perception told me he indicated i lied.

i couldn’t believe he had that audacity,

he had no idea what I’d done to endure what he triggered!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW HE TOLD ME, I WAS MAKING UP FICTION.

after I had fought tooth and nail to even FIRST spill my gut.

CONDITIONED TO BELIEVE THIS IS WHAT WOULD HAPPEN

and he repeated the parental rejection,

denial, deception.

but

a training student can see,

that he had taken the cold, calculated modality

of Socratic questioning

too far.

like I hadn’t done that to my self

night after night

all through life.

put it back on the shelf too high

the children cannot reach

the top left corner

cobwebbed, dust-covered.

the attic chamber for my deepest portions of being

hidden locked and obscure memories,

frightening and far out of normal range,

but then at the same time too vague and somatic,

and early in infancy to even be “fully” retrieved,

let alone even articulated to another.

how I had stored them back in that box

over and over

hidden the key

changed the lock.

prayed to god

and cried wretching

hiccuped sobbing

unfathomable to most

when the prayer

was ignored.

1000 of time now.

how I hoped they were not real

for then I would not be forced to deal

with the consequence,

i had the yield of reaping

when they flooded over

inevitable

and spilt

into my reality.

HOW MANY TIMES BEFORE,

I QUESTIONED THE FABRIC OF MY OWN LIFE

to only deny,

ignore,

denial.

then regret not listening to my intuition.

it had been a thing recurrent

over the time

since I had been FIRST been aware what happened was me  being abused

I was fucking tired of it now,

NOW OF ALL TIMES

Imagine finding notebook after notebook

I had never written,

worse they were all different.

painting a picture of the vacant moment.

void to me

but clear to everyone else that there is action taken during the time I cannot remember,

handwriting and parts I could not remember no matter how much I tried

how would you feel if you found a thing hanging in your closet you have no memory of buying

not once or twice

but repeatedly since you could get clothes of your own.

debt and penny devoid of buying random things

no memory of it.

and got in trouble constantly

for action/rule breaking/crime you did not even remember committing.

bullied for the painful thing put through

but forgotten

yet you paid penance for this.

ALREADY

even eerier is when you cannot recognize your own self

in a photograph

you find on an iPad of the guy you are dating

but instantly break into tyranny when you accuse him of being unfaithful,

he is bewildered bc

you took it,

only a few week earlier.

and now you are raging accusing him of everything under the sun

bc you can’t even recognize your own picture

you cannot even tell it is your vessel

from a day dimmed from your mind?

not the only time you failed to realize what you looked like.

but another lost moment

dissociated

another note or diary

written in handwriting unfamiliar

finding presents, in a weird way

became normal

and he questioned

the authenticity of the reality of my entire life?

and he opened that door

not i

but once i had endured the pain

i braved the unthinkable

and went back

BUT rather than be there to help

he told me

it might not be real.

how did he think I’d feel/think/perceive that?

CLEAR TO ME NOW

he has no concern

or care

for me the client.

or general for all of the clients.

I cannot even open that document

I have not read it

I don’t think I can

he was not present for what the aftermath of that laborious event

that began the moment I hit the Send button.

HOW dare challenge the trauma

by insinuating that I WOULD LIE.

AND MAKE THIS UP.

THE FUCK?

that hurt more than all else for he cannot know how deep the core run?

how he tried to take that from me,

RAPE THE RAPE

and i’m not letting him take that,

nope.never,

for he cannot take the truth.

he better not try to deny my inner fire.

I’m faithful to how well I am at journeying into recovery,

BUT he tells me now I’m too well read,

too educated for my own good

to stop reading.

“information overload”

what the hell?

how did he think I survived this?

I did it all alone.

educating self on how to heal?

how else are we meant to navigate?

the road to healing

without any map.

I’m proud rightfully!!!

the force that hid in the ribcage

under lung membrane.

tamed,

all on my own.

yet he tells me my high IQ is responsible for my limitations?

I CANNOT MAKE ANY LOGIC FROM THE NONSENSICAL

RUBBISH.

MY IQ HELPED GET TO NOW.

HOW CAN HE DENY

WHAT HELPED ME SURVIVE

HE has gone too far,

although it is HARD to write all of this.

I made the fatal mistake,

I did not hear what my intuition told me.

the conclusions from the poorly executed,

and carelessly handled homework given by a (the-rapist) made the whole year vanish.

The fight to incorporate all my mind, body, soul.

Integration maketh dissociation go away.

The problem?I am left alone to do the work, for incompetent Orchestra in harmony, The choir of our inner world to be purged, after living bound by ancient tombed prophecy.

All kept under strict lock and key.No more

The fight to incorporate all my mind, body, soul.

paid off now I realize that:

Integration maketh dissociation go away.

But it has not been a breeze, more akin to a tornado.

The problem?

I am left alone to do the work.

pro?

I found many LOST parts of my own core wounded but ready to help me through.

but tired, and exhumed.

Tired of the continual conscious coordination of the part inside coming together in union and melody.

made harder and more of a chore now,

from jagged daggers found

ground into crumbling china,

SHATTERED,  tattered, remnants fallen from the once immaculate crockery cabinet.

conducting the orchestra in harmony,

only for the choir of our inner world to be purged.

goodbye to the inner world.

I’VE PAID MY PENANCE.

what the hell?

REMEMBER:

people can only meet me af far

as they know their own self.

He might be in pain and denial

and hiding from his own childhood/boyhood/infancy truth.

he denied that it hurt him like it hurt me,

lie.

I don’t believe him.

i think

his trauma hidden and rumbling woken

by my explosion.

he ate his words

meaning he lies without remorse

or if not,

either he is heart devoid, cunning and evil?

rarely, I cannot read people, but he is rogue.

I am too caring,

and it has helped,

i made that but,

bc i pushed through destruction

IN A WAY I AM REPULSED AT.

it showed how masochistic i can be.

but it worked.

but i’d never recommend it.

or?

BACKWARD MENDING.

TRAGIC.

masochist.

if i did not find the entire

dynamic

perplexing

I do not return.

i’d replace him as I did

and play out an old habit

like i run, hide, avoid,

the inclination to do even prior to the moment i get hurt.

but I’m bravely

naked

and

facing hard

real

truth

vulnerable

exposed

raw

more than I can say of him.

jdhdjh

#recovery #trauma #healing #writing #journal #healing trauma #words #writings #ptsd #moonchild #2017 #the recovery manifesto #spilled ink #cptsd #complex post traumatic stress disorder #complex trauma #complex ptsd #cptsd awareness #actually cptsd #cptsd symptoms #cptsd coping #living with cptsd #therapy #bad therapy #bad therapist #cptsd therapy #betrayal #trauma journal #manifesto #mental heath support

[queenofallwitches]

Note to self : 13 February 2018

“You are caught in a double bind only a few souls understand.

But the time has come to face the reality of your deepest secrets, which manifest as your darkest fears. It is now.

You need to do this, you’ve come five years, and turning back after so much progress will only make the process longer. It’s inevitable.

Recovery now is a matter of “do or die”. I’m going to make it through this.

The revolt of archaic, decade-old decadent sins of my former selves is wilting beneath the subcutaneous layers of my flesh, begging to be purged from my skin and made into something less tragic.

Release.

This flesh begging to be purged from my skin and made into something less tragic. Grow anew. embrace a violent, vivacious metamorphoses as you blossom into the woman you can become, your highest potential, is now due.

Face up, wake up. Embrace reality. Start to create your canvas using truth as your paintbrush. Paint this ache from decades bygone to design resilience and strength as attributes you embody. Use this to redesign your psyche into a work of art.

Visualize the pain as fuel, to propel through the sordid stain of carnal sickness, and use this to transmute your darkest secrets into awakening the social/collective paradigm shift that you were put on this earth to consecrate. May the power be with you. With me. With us. “

#writing #spilled ink #spilled words #journal #writings #writeblr #healing trauma #2018 #note to self #musings #thoughts #trauma #healing #recovery #emotions #words

[queenofallwitches]

Baby girl, warrior goddess, you made it. No weapon formed against me shall prosper. I WAS burnt alive. thrice. What did that achieve? I sharpened my skill set and learned to be wiser.

I will (have can and do)

float on

and on

and

on

i survive

and

don’t

ever (never could would or should )

die

(strength comes in the pillars of solitary silence and suppressed screams of infancy revitalised into an eternity on reverse violence).

defence is my deadliest weapon

wounded spike in the heart

soul

body

and

life

of all who come In cloaked silence

to subvert my own testament

own your truth

see the soul

stripped alive

set it on fire

be born, revive, it’s my soul that forged a whole from the ashes of the dying adversity

in subdued swindled subtle words

end game

spelling a lie

spell in the lie

to spell my spirit to switch into a self presentation of self creative survival and soul finding soul after decades of sadistic sodomised molested raped an self vs self against the sexual malice in that same violence

turns to screaming

not to self

but to stories unheard

not only me and mine

and the many entwines like mine

but the ones who tried and tormented

burnt and

tortured

before

to tell the same

in the madness and mystical blend of synchromagickmetapsycho quauntum fabric

wait

and watch

souls is whole

and soul is harmless but aware

silent but prepared

defence now back at the evil

and the sword ⚔️ turns unto the sword bearer hiding once

now seen

as seen

(cannot ; will never)

be unseen

soul truth is a force for my protection not desecration and that is

“my winning worldly weapon”

only forged from

my own

protection

or for my soul beyond time

for holding into real life

is the paid price

in past days

already done

sown and reaped

reality I knew to

say, no way.

not speak.

rife with the ritualised violence of self hate anyway it blamed myself into me. ages stolen away from me and many me

all turn to wage a protection for the one real

in the core

she roars

on silence

and I rose now slowly

heart stirred but never saw too many wounds

to be unheard

no word heard

wings came to be heard in spirit

and I lift my sorrows to the holy of higher sanctuary and that was a sadness sewn into me back in 1992/or was it 93?

now not to know;

nor should of had a test to tear into tow a empty nothing of woe

I win me and back her

and we created more good of her

and she sings on the wings of time

to heal her hurt from the bloodline

and you will never know

and need never see

but it will be seen in reality

and in the residual testament

to stop or stare

stop and share

forge wings

now we fly

you die

I never lie

undoing all this in owls and eagles and sacred spirits

unknown

untouched

but in the end

I flow my part in power to what is my true

and true tomb is time to late to long

by the time it’s true popular

i walk for good

and pure intent

you no ? me not you.

see who comes to seek a recompense or be reversed upon the inverses they help circumvent

either way I don’t seek the retribution or retaliation

only to retire of the old expired macabre domination of divide

this way now I speak my word ? Not really sold as overt, to see the reverse in perverse decibels to come to pass my own hurt.

we watch

and observe

and win

each time

never give in

never let them in

or lose the self you found when they live

as the passing ghosts

are not real

now

and see only haunted

vessels to burn now

I found flame and burning up the life before to

build a new world better

so again

be born

reborn

die

again

reborn.

peace love

annihilation

or your own desecrated deviation

but I die in pure livation

knowing I try and again reminded of why we died to get by in post 95

;)

up

#survival #safety #alchemy of ashes #retrospect

[queenofallwitches]

I was hacked, but I got back in, I made a new Tumblr but I am thinking of just picking this one back up and using the new one for other ventures?

Either way, everything needs to be reformated and fixed up and that is likely going to be a process so BEAR WITH ME.

Oh and to my lovely haters (for no reason) I see you in my crystal ball.

In case i decide to change this into a more general/trauma/psychology/yoga/metaphysics/writing/mysticism/madness blog then my specific magick blog will live at

http://thequeenofallwitches.tumblr.com

I need to organize and arrange everything for spring cleaning that is about 3 years over due.

#hola #queen of all witches #that was tedious anti hacking #hackers #haters #same thing #divination

[queenofallwitches]

Is there no better way to embody a divine feminine sensual Venusian aesthetic then beautiful lingerie, aesthetic environments & rich decadent fabrics, materials and luxe energy. @nakedcurve allow this experience. Harmony and energy that make you feel good, create a positive loop of self efficacy. That’s how I justify the money I spent on nice things 😉 #divinefeminine #picoftheday #spiritual #warriorwoman #naturalbeauty#goddessworship #greeneyes #buxom #greeneyed #prettyeye #curvesarebeautiful #goddessenergy #naturalhairdaily #curvymodel #divinefeminine #thickwomen #curvywoman #bignaturals #curvyqueen #plusmodel #curvy #curvyfashion #wavyhair #plussizebeauties #curvesarebeautiful #loveyourcurves #goddessenergy #curvygirl #fullerbust #curveau #naturalboobs #curvystyle #voluptous https://www.instagram.com/p/CncRaguSzFq/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#divinefeminine #picoftheday #spiritual #warriorwoman #naturalbeauty #goddessworship #greeneyes #buxom #greeneyed #prettyeye #curvesarebeautiful #goddessenergy #naturalhairdaily #curvymodel #thickwomen #curvywoman #bignaturals #curvyqueen #plusmodel #curvy #curvyfashion #wavyhair #plussizebeauties #loveyourcurves #curvygirl #fullerbust #curveau #naturalboobs #curvystyle #voluptous

[queenofallwitches]

Once more I thank @nakedcurve nakedcurve bless your feminine lingerie that lifts my soul up. #divinefeminine #selflove #bustybeauty #curves #picoftheday #spiritual #witch #yogi #cancermoon #warriorwoman #naturalbeauty#goddessworship #greeneyes #buxom #greeneyed #prettyeyes #altmodel #curvesarebeautiful #goddessenergy #curvyandfit #naturalhairdaily #prettyface #goddessenergy #curvymodel #divinefeminine #curvylingerie #curvystyle #lingerie #nakedcurve #lacelingerie #curvyfashionista #lingerieplussize https://www.instagram.com/p/CncP-YKyQLh/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#divinefeminine #selflove #bustybeauty #curves #picoftheday #spiritual #witch #yogi #cancermoon #warriorwoman #naturalbeauty #goddessworship #greeneyes #buxom #greeneyed #prettyeyes #altmodel #curvesarebeautiful #goddessenergy #curvyandfit #naturalhairdaily #prettyface #curvymodel #curvylingerie #curvystyle #lingerie #nakedcurve #lacelingerie #curvyfashionista #lingerieplussize

[queenofallwitches]

I need to find my sanctuary .... someplace safe AND THERE IS NO WAY OUT.. Gotta get this outta me! .... THIS IS MY ESCAPE!!! --- all i see is sadness All i see is sadness .... What's left? -- this will teach them This will teach them ......you've got to...... !Push !!Push PUSH.... YOUR WAY OUT!!! FOLLOW ME! FOLLOW ME! THIS IS YOUR WAY OUT!! ........you are not alone - this is where i hide my power - this is where i become free - this is where i take control - and slowly choke your fantasies - i want to know my day is coming - see my enemies be punished - shed my skin again - this will be my best revenge!! SHED MY SKIN AGAIN THIS WILL BE MY BEST REVENGE! #otep #poetry #strongwomen💪 #photooftheday #divinefeminine #selflove #curves #altgirl #picoftheday #spiritual #witch #yogi #cancermoon #warriorwoman #naturalbeauty#goddessworship #greeneyes #buxom #greeneyed #prettyeyes #altmodel #curvesarebeautiful #goddessenergy #curvyandfit #naturalhairdaily #music #goddessenergy #curvymodel #divinefeminine https://www.instagram.com/p/CncPDbLS1-e/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#otep #poetry #strongwomen💪 #photooftheday #divinefeminine #selflove #curves #altgirl #picoftheday #spiritual #witch #yogi #cancermoon #warriorwoman #naturalbeauty #goddessworship #greeneyes #buxom #greeneyed #prettyeyes #altmodel #curvesarebeautiful #goddessenergy #curvyandfit #naturalhairdaily #music #curvymodel

[queenofallwitches]

My forge goddess and gods don’t mess around. This happened sometime last year in a ceremony and I chose to look at this like a new style of elemental bibliomancy. So my friend / roommate and I have been working on setting up a magically inspired hand made occult craft store for a few years now. I’ve been sitting on a few projects that I haven’t had the confidence or self esteem to put forward. But a wise man once told me the lesson of the perfectionist is to learn to “satisfice” meaning not 100% but 10%-90% of progress happens in the area of imperfections. That was when I met my forge god and subsequently led to a lot of manifesting and changing and growing and learning how to forge wings-dreams. Five years later and a lot of goddess balancing, it’s time to satisfice again. Meaning it’s progress and action not perfection. (Unless you are my friend and are able to focus on tiny details, be immaculate and crafty, sit still for hours and focus on details, without adhd symptoms kicking in). But it’s time to start showcasing @wingsofwayland occult crafts. There is an Etsy, I’ll share all the links including e commerce stores. and I’ll be working on the social media side of things. More, a lot more, coming, to come, please help us start up our occult craft store and give me a chance to manifest one of my many goals, build my skills and confidence and share a beautiful infused spiritual practice. While I attempt to perfect or get better at the creative process. @wingsofwayland #occultshop https://www.instagram.com/p/CnbCHK5STvv/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#occultshop

[queenofallwitches]

Home crafted dagger Home crafted Florida water Now home crafted candles & more coming. #beliebelcan #erzulie #altar #spiritism #sanse #folkmagic #voodoo #spiritist #alchemy #ceremonialmagic #magick #folkmagick #espiritismo #wiccamagic #wiccanspells #spellcraft #spellcaster #cardreading #rootworkersofinstagram #fortuneteller #witches #spellcasting #altarspace #altarsofinstagram #occultmagick #magick #chaosmagick #mamiwata #ancientspirituality #goddessspirituality #druida https://www.instagram.com/p/Cna8HvFSKqM/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#beliebelcan #erzulie #altar #spiritism #sanse #folkmagic #voodoo #spiritist #alchemy #ceremonialmagic #magick #folkmagick #espiritismo #wiccamagic #wiccanspells #spellcraft #spellcaster #cardreading #rootworkersofinstagram #fortuneteller #witches #spellcasting #altarspace #altarsofinstagram #occultmagick #chaosmagick #mamiwata #ancientspirituality #goddessspirituality #druida

[queenofallwitches]

I’m blessed by my spirits (and protected, protected proactive defence)🔮🌹✨ https://www.instagram.com/p/Cna7YUdSKnP/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[queenofallwitches]

Fun messy and alchemical. Here’s to not blowing my house up 😅😂 🚪 Yay for the alchemical apocathary potion lab door opening 💙✨🔮🕯 #beliebelcan #erzulie #candle #occultart #spiritism #sanse #folkmagic #voodoo #spiritist #apocathary #alchemy #crafts #creative #magick #folkmagick #espiritismo #wiccamagic #wiccanspells #spellcraft #magiccandle #candlemagick #candlespell #creativity #DIY #vodou #folkart #occultartist #esotericart #alchemicalart #metaphysicalhealing https://www.instagram.com/p/Cna6v8eyn7G/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#beliebelcan #erzulie #candle #occultart #spiritism #sanse #folkmagic #voodoo #spiritist #apocathary #alchemy #crafts #creative #magick #folkmagick #espiritismo #wiccamagic #wiccanspells #spellcraft #magiccandle #candlemagick #candlespell #creativity #diy #vodou #folkart #occultartist #esotericart #alchemicalart #metaphysicalhealing

[queenofallwitches]

Yay for the alchemical apocathary potion lab door opening 💙✨🔮🕯 #beliebelcan #erzulie #candle #occultart #spiritism #sanse #folkmagic #voodoo #spiritist #apocathary #alchemy #crafts #creative #magick #folkmagick #espiritismo #wiccamagic #wiccanspells #spellcraft #magiccandle #candlemagick #candlespell #creativity #DIY #vodou #folkart #occultartist #esotericart #alchemicalart #metaphysicalhealing https://www.instagram.com/p/Cna6gg6yQW6/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#beliebelcan #erzulie #candle #occultart #spiritism #sanse #folkmagic #voodoo #spiritist #apocathary #alchemy #crafts #creative #magick #folkmagick #espiritismo #wiccamagic #wiccanspells #spellcraft #magiccandle #candlemagick #candlespell #creativity #diy #vodou #folkart #occultartist #esotericart #alchemicalart #metaphysicalhealing

[queenofallwitches]

1 home made candle. Working with both Belcan and erzulie has inspired candle and my first home made candle. I’ve been wanting and needing this for 2 years and I’ve finally done the first one. So far to come where my mind visually perceives what candles and creations I WANT to make. But the door has been OPENED. ##beliebelcan #erzulie #candle #occultart #spiritism #sanse #folkmagic #voodoo #spiritist #apocathary #alchemy #crafts #creative #magick #folkmagick #espiritismo #wiccamagic #wiccanspells #spellcraft #magiccandle #candlemagick #candlespell #creativity #DIY #folkart #occultartist #esotericart #alchemicalart #metaphysicalhealing https://www.instagram.com/p/Cna6FmEy-Qt/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#beliebelcan #erzulie #candle #occultart #spiritism #sanse #folkmagic #voodoo #spiritist #apocathary #alchemy #crafts #creative #magick #folkmagick #espiritismo #wiccamagic #wiccanspells #spellcraft #magiccandle #candlemagick #candlespell #creativity #diy #folkart #occultartist #esotericart #alchemicalart #metaphysicalhealing

[queenofallwitches]

Real growth is painful. That’s an understatement. https://www.instagram.com/p/CnaAcaey3-W/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[queenofallwitches]

And keep going https://www.instagram.com/p/CnaAWYMyEP5/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[queenofallwitches]

You can’t destroy someone who grows and faces the deepest of the pain and trauma they have experienced. You can try. But you cannot rape away the shadow work I’ve done in solitary devotion to my survival. And my great work. 2017 when I was in this situation, now I expect the same self insight from anyone in my life. Without self awareness you will learn to become self aware, I bring that out and will always provoke that without intention. I am a magnet for self awakening in others. At least I know who I am. I grew from my trauma and did this to build a life of beautiful safety and truth, purpose, productivity, positivity, prosperity, purity, peace protection and passion. Even when it’s decimated outside by forces beyond my control, you cannot stop my creative force. You cannot rape or molest it anymore. I will come back with a strength I did not want nor ask for yet keeps growing, each pain or trauma another fire inside to burn that drive to create a life that is a sanctuary. For me my highest self and my great work to flourish in. It’s my birth right. I cannot die until I fulfil what I was supposed to be incarnate for. Yes. It hurts. Like hell. No, it doesn’t stop my want or will to live. https://www.instagram.com/p/CnaANrfy686/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[queenofallwitches]

The doors have been opened for the opening of doors and roads to keep progress for humanity a reality. The redemption and rebuilding of a foundation begins. #ritual #priestess #queenofallwitches #magick #stgeorge #weyland #wicca #spiritism #espiritismo #esoteric #magick #manifestation #goddessrising #heroine #theheroinesjourney #goddessjourney #priestesspath https://www.instagram.com/p/Cmq6MrAycVw/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#ritual #priestess #queenofallwitches #magick #stgeorge #weyland #wicca #spiritism #espiritismo #esoteric #manifestation #goddessrising #heroine #theheroinesjourney #goddessjourney #priestesspath