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#fic: lets get quizzical
genshinluvr · 11 months
Text
The Fallen Star
Pairings: Various Honkai Star Rail Men x Isekai'd!Reader
Summary: You wake up in a void and see someone towering over you. He's breathtaking and covers the sun and sky. One minute you are talking to him, but then you gain consciousness. You wake up to a silver-haired man giving you (failed) CPR, only to find yourself on the Xianzhou Luofu with four other people who soon later become your (temporary?) traveling companions.
Note: Welcome to my first Honkai Star Rail fanfiction! This work is part of a brand new series called "Brightest Star in the Universe." Yes, it's Isekai like the Genshin fics. This is going to be cross-posted on AO3 as well (like all of my fics). To be honest, I didn't think I was going to be posting a Honkai Star Rail series so soon, but here I am. Since there are unreleased characters in this series (Luocha and Blade), their personalities are going to be a bit out of character. Then again, most HSR men's personalities are going to be out of character for a bit until I'm familiar with all of them. I don't post anywhere else but on Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and on AO3 (Aaliah_exo).
Warnings: Mentions of blood, but it's not bad
Word Count: 8.6k
The last thing you remembered before you woke up was a tall man towering over you, blocking the sun and sky from your view. He had silver-white hair and tanned skin, and his arms were in pieces, gold bleeding through the cracks over his body. He was beautiful, but his beauty intimidated you. The way he gazed at you, his eyebrows furrowed.
You felt yourself tremble beneath his gaze. Who was this man, and why was he bigger than the sun and sky? “Where am I? Who are you?” You whispered, your voice trembling with fear and confusion.
The world around you rumbled, making you wince and look around in panic. It took you a moment to realize that the huge man before you was chuckling. The man gazed at you with amusement before squatting down before you without taking his eyes off of you. Wait, does he even have legs?
“My name is not important, little one,” he replies. “You and I will meet again soon, but for now, it’s time for you to wake up from your slumber.”
You looked at him quizzically before scanning your surroundings. There was no one else but you and him. You and this man were in a vortex of some sort. The light is blocked out by his figure. You pinched yourself and winced in pain. What does he mean by ‘wake up from your slumber?’ Were you not awake the entire time?
You look at the man, only to see that he is still staring at you with an unreadable expression on his face. “What do you mean by that?” You whispered.
The silence in the void is deafening. Even if you whispered, your voice echoed in the abyss. You shifted in your spot before getting up from the ground. You dust your clothes off and gaze at the ginormous man before you, waiting for him to answer. The world around you slowly turns black, and the man nods at you before your vision turns black.
Just as you’re gaining consciousness, you hear voices around you. The voices are muffled, almost as if you’re underwater, and the voices of the people are above you and all over the place. Your ears are ringing, and your limbs feel like lead. You want to open your eyes, but your eyelids feel heavy.
“Are you sure they’re alive?” You hear a girl ask.
You hear a slow sigh coming from your left. “Of course, they’re alive, March. Can’t you see the steady rise and fall of their chest?” the male to your left asks.
“If they’re alive, then why are they not waking up? Aside from being unconscious, of course,” says March.
You feel someone tap your cheeks repeatedly. You groan and try to swat the hands away from your face, only for your hands to fall back to the ground. The girl named March lets out a loud gasp. 
The man beside you lets out a sigh. “March, can you go find Mr. Yang? In the meantime, Caelus and I will stand guard and make sure this person is okay,” he says.
‘March’ makes a disgruntled noise before stomping away. Something beneath you shifts, and you open your eyes to see a silver-haired man leaning down, his lips puckering. You open your mouth to say something, but the man covers your mouth with his. You let out a combination of a squeak and a gasp. The silver-haired man backs up and looks down at you with wide eyes, his fringe covering a part of his eyes. 
The silver-haired man blushes and clears his throat. “It’s good to see that you’re awake! Ahem… how are you feeling?” He asks.
You swallow the lump in your throat and slowly prop yourself up on your arms, rubbing the back of your neck. “I-I’m fine! Um… that’s an interesting way to wake someone up,” you said, giving the silver-haired man a sheepish smile. 
“I was trying to give you CPR, but that didn’t turn out how I thought it was going to,” replies the silver-haired man, his cheeks flushing red. He looks over at the black-haired man with a glare. The man with black hair looks away, his lips pressed into a thin line while his shoulders are shaking. The silver-haired man narrows his eyes at the black-haired man before punching him in the shoulders lightly, causing the man to grunt and let out a cough. Was he laughing? You sit up and look around, dazed and confused about how you ended up on a ship. Wait, is it a ship? Where are you?
You clear your throat and rub your throbbing temples. How did you end up on a ship? Or wherever you are. Gosh, you’re so out of it that you’re having a hard time figuring out where you’re at. You close your eyes, feeling a wave of nausea hit you like a train. One minute you were in a void with an extremely tall man that bleeds gold, and now you’re somewhere with two men at your side. One man is trying to stifle his laughter, while the other is almost as red as tomatoes. 
The red-faced silver-haired man clears his throat. “My name is Caelus, and the one that’s laughing beside us is Dan Heng,” Caelus says, nudging Dan Heng beside him with a small glare as if he’s telling Dan Heng to be quiet.
Dan Heng clears his throat before fixing his composure, crossing his arms over his chest. “How are you feeling? You were out cold when we found you on the Xianzhou Luofu,” says Dan Heng, staring at you emotionlessly.
“Other than a slight headache, I’m feeling okay. Confused, but okay nonetheless,” you reply. 
The two men stand up while you remain on the floor. You continue to take in your surroundings, eyes focusing on the stars hanging above you and the two men on this…. ship. You’re on a flagship… in space… traveling to who knows where. You look at the men behind you, pointing at your surroundings.
You clear your throat. “So, I was unconscious on the Xianzhou Luofu? That’s how you two found me?” You ask, rubbing your eyes while remaining on the ground. “Huh. How did I end up here?”
Rapid footsteps approach you, Dan Heng, and Caelus. You look up to see a pink-haired girl running toward the three of you, with a brown-haired man following close behind. The pink-haired girl’s eyes light up when the two of you make eye contact. You get up from the ground, dusting off your clothes.
The girl and brown-haired man stop before you. “Oh, goodie! You’re awake this time! I was starting to get worried!” She says, propping her hands on her hips. “Mr. Yang, this is the unconscious person I was telling you about! Well, they’re not unconscious anymore, but we stumbled across them when we split up while trying to look for Kafka.”
The brown-haired man— or Mr. Yang— strokes his chin while analyzing you from head to toe. You’re definitely not from the Xianzhou Luofu, and you’re certainly not from Jarlio-VI. 
The man hums before crossing his arms over his chest. “Do you know how you ended up here?” asks Mr. Yang.
You shake your head. “I don’t know how I ended up here. One minute, I was in a void with a man that towered over me, and now I somehow ended up on a ship.” You reply. 
Now that you said it out loud, you wouldn’t believe yourself if you were someone else. Would these people believe you? The pink girl hums thoughtfully, tilting her head to the side while gazing at you curiously.
“I’m March 7th, by the way! But you can call me March! This man here is Welt Yang!” She gestures to the brown-haired man beside her. “I’m assuming those two have introduced themselves to you already?”
You nod. “They have! Apologies for not introducing myself earlier, but my name’s [Y/N].” You say, rubbing the back of your neck with a sheepish smile.
You look at your surroundings. While you’re on the Xianzhou Luofu, you’re not entirely sure where you, Dan Heng, Caelus, Mr. Yang (should you call him by his first name or by his last name?), and March are precisely on the ship. Looking at your surroundings, all you see are boxes— you’re assuming they’re cargo of some sort. The air is nice and chilly, causing goosebumps to appear on your arms.
“We have to meet with General Jing Yuan. There are some things we still need to discuss with him,” Mr. Yang says, pulling his phone out to look at the time.
March points at you. “What do we do with [Y/N]? Do we bring them along with us as well?” asks March, looking at Mr. Yang for answers.
Your eyes widen, and you shake your head, waving your hands in front of you. “Oh, no! You don’t have to bring me along with you guys! Plus, you mentioned meeting with a general…. That sounds important, and I don’t want to intrude. After all, I am an outsider and, uh, don’t fit in this situation,” you said.
The five of them were heading to meet with the General of the Xianzhou Luofu. Dan Heng, Caelus, and March ended up stumbling across your unconscious body on the Xianzhou Luofu in an area where there aren’t many people roaming around. You sort of threw them off while they were headed toward their destination. Surely you can’t just tag along with them now, can you?
March huffs and frowns at you. “Hey! You’re not the only one who’s an outsider! The four of us aren’t from the Xianzhou Luofu either!” March interjects, stepping toward you and linking her arm around yours. “Besides! I think you should tag along with us either way! We don’t want to leave you behind, especially when you’re not from the Xianzhou Luofu! You are now a Trailblazer like us!” 
Mr. Yang sighs and pushes his glasses up. “Let’s go. We have no time to lose. [Y/N], we’ll talk about this after meeting with General Jing Yuan,” says Mr. Yang, looking in your direction.
You nod and follow after the group, setting off to the location where General Jing Yuan told them to meet. 
Upon arriving at the destination, you have concluded that you like the Xianzhou Luofu! Not only is it beautiful and vast, with a nice view of the universe, but you find the citizens of the Xianzhou Luofu interesting, and you’re curious about everything, really. 
Now that you think about it, the ship and the people you’re tagging along with feel familiar. You know what this place is; you know it! It’s on the tip of your tongue, but dealing with sudden scenery changes and the brain fog is throwing you off.
The grand doors open, and the five of you step into the room. You look around, eyes wide with wonder and curiosity. Many people are walking in and out of the room, people gathering around in one spot while others are tending to their duties on the ship. Mr. Yang, March, Dan Heng, Caelus, and you approach the white-haired man sitting on a chair. He seems to be occupied with the game of chess. You can’t tell if his blond opponent looks frustrated or focused. His eyebrows furrowed, and his eyes focused on the chessboard before the two of them. Hearing footsteps approaching their direction, the blond boy and white-haired man look at your group.
The white-haired man stands up, looking at the blond boy and nodding. The blond boy gets up from his seat and walks off, looking at your group from the corner of his eyes as he passes the five of you.
“I hope the journey wasn’t too complicated. It’s good to see you all again,” says the white-haired man.
Mr. Yang nods. “General Jing Yuan, it’s nice to see you again. We’re here to discuss the matters you wanted to speak to us about regarding the situation….” Mr. Yang’s voice slowly becomes muffled as you continue to look at your surroundings.
There are holograms of the people, you assume, that work on the Xianzhou Luofu! Holograms! You have never seen a hologram before, and it looks so cool! What was this place called again? You recalled that they were supposed to meet up at the general’s office, but the location was changed. Was the office called the Seat of the Divine Foresight? Although, with the number of people going in and out of the room, it’s certainly not the general’s office. Where in the world are you exactly? Gosh, it’s like you have the name on the tip of your tongue, but it’s not coming out.
“Care to introduce me to your new friend?” General Jing Yuan’s voice pulls you out of your thoughts.
You blink and look up to see General Jing Yuan looking right at you. You freeze in your spot like a deer in headlights, blinking at the white-haired man owlishly. A soft smile appears on his face, a low rumbling coming from his chest. You couldn’t help but feel intimidated by his presence. Such power and authority exude from the man standing before the five of you. 
Your face heats up when more people look in your direction. You clear your throat and stand there awkwardly, not sure what to do. Sure, you could introduce yourself to General Jing Yuan, but you were hoping he didn’t notice a new face around the Xianzhou Luofu. You point at yourself dumbly, blinking cluelessly at the man approaching you. Oh gosh, he’s walking toward you. 
General Jing Yuan nods. “Yes, I was talking to you. I’ve never seen you around the Xianzhou Luofu, nor have I seen you with Welt Yang and his traveling companions,” says General Jing Yuan, now standing in front of you.
Dear gosh, this man is standing right in front of you. He’s not a hologram. He’s flesh and blood. If you reach out right now, you would be touching him with your hands. You give General Jing Yuan a shy smile, face hotter than ever.
You raise your hand in an awkward wave before introducing yourself. “Hi! I, uh, my name’s [Y/N]! It’s a pleasure to meet you, General Jing Yuan!” You squeak.
General Jing Yuan lets out a hearty laugh. “It’s nice to meet you, [Y/N]. Please, just call me Jing Yuan. No need to call me General— General is merely a temporary title,” says Jing Yuan, giving you a cat-like smile.
Jing Yuan grabs your hand gently and raises your hand to his face before pressing a kiss on your knuckles without breaking eye contact. Dear gosh, it’s like this man wants your face to feel hotter than it already is. 
“Since when is he a flirt?” You hear March mutter to Caelus, Dan Heng, and Mr. Yang. 
Jing Yuan releases your hand while you stand there awkwardly while tucking your hair behind your ear. You give Jing Yuan a flustered smile before looking away after clearing your throat. Dan Heng sighs while Mr. Yang steps up, grabbing Jing Yuan’s attention. You take a step back and stand between Dan Heng and Caelus, refusing to look at them after feeling intense stares at your head.
“That was something,” Caelus comments, crossing his arms over his chest.
Dan Heng hums in agreement. “It really is, isn’t it? Who knew that the General of the Xianzhou Luofu has such a charm,” Dan Heng comments.
You clear your throat again. “Maybe it’s how people greet on the Xianzhou Luofu!” You say.
March scrunches her nose and shakes her head. “They don’t do that on the Xianzhou Luofu. We’ve visited a couple of times, but not once were we greeted like how the General greeted you, [Y/N],” March teases, giving you a cheeky smile.
While Mr. Yang and Jing Yuan are conversing with each other about the situation, Dang Heng, Caelus, and March would interject here and there while the two are speaking. As usual, since you’re not part of the conversation, you would space out and look at your surroundings. It’s tempting to wander off, but you stay where you’re standing and listen to their conversation.
The doors to the room fly open, and enter a man with long, blond hair and a brown-haired girl with pigtails. The girl looks mildly miffed, while the blond man looks pleased with himself as he follows the girl into the room with a giant casket behind him. You look at the casket in horror and look at Caelus, Dan Heng, and March. The trio did not seem to be phased by the fact that the blond man was carrying around a casket like it was a backpack. 
The blond man notices you’re staring at him, and he smiles at you, keeping a firm grip on the casket behind him. “I see you notice the coffin behind me,” he comments.
You nod in response. “Yeah! It’s, uh, hard to overlook it,” you reply.
The brown-haired girl huffs and crosses her arms over her chest with a deep frown on her face. “It’s strange, isn’t it?” asks the girl, looking in your direction.
You blink at her with surprise. “Ah, strange?” You squeak. 
What was she talking about? The man carrying a large casket with him, or was there something else you’re missing? After all, she did enter the room with the blond man, looking visibly peeved.
The brown-haired girl drags out a sigh, propping her right hand on her hip. “For a foreign trader like himself to be carrying a casket around so casually,” she replies. “I didn’t think it was a casket until I asked him about it.”
The blond man clears his throat. “This coffin isn't mine, Sushang. I was merely entrusted to take the body back to the Xianzhou Luofu,” the man says casually. “My name’s Luocha. As Sushang said, I am a foreign trader. Currently, I was tasked to return this casket to the Xianzhou Luofu.” He gestures to the casket behind him.
You stare at the casket and then look at the blond man, who raises his eyebrows at you with an amused look. It seems like Luocha knows what you want to ask him. What is in the casket? More importantly, who is in the coffin, and why does he need to deliver it back to the Xianzhou Luofu?
Luocha crosses his arms over his chest. “It’s alright if you want to ask who’s in the coffin. I’ve had a few people ask me the same question while on my journey to the Xianzhou Luofu,” says Luocha, looking at Sushang from the corner of his eyes.
You give Luocha a sheepish smile and shake your head. “No, no! I wasn’t going to ask you that question! I was wondering how you can carry a coffin around for so long without getting tired of it. You would think there would be an easier way to transport a casket,” you say.
You did wonder who was in the coffin. I mean, like Luocha said, he has had a few people ask him who (or what) was in the large casket behind him. As much as you’re curious, you don’t think it would be appropriate to ask since it’s none of your business, and it would be rude to ask.
Sushang looks at you curiously, examining you from head to toe. “You don’t look like you’re from the Xianzhou Luofu. Are you Dan Heng’s newly added traveling companion?” asks Sushang.
You make an uncertain noise, giving Sushang and Luocha a ‘so-so’ gesture. “Kind of! I… I’m not sure if now is the right time to explain the situation,” you murmur, turning to look at your new traveling companions.
March, Dan Heng, and Caelus shrug their shoulders simultaneously. You sigh and turn to look at Luocha and Sushang with a fake smile. Now would be a good time to leave the Xianzhou Luofu, but even if you were to leave the ship, would they (your temporary traveling companions) be okay with you tagging along? 
Sushang looks at you curiously. “Oh? Why do you seem uncertain about being their new traveling companions?” Sushang asks.
You press your lips into a thin line and rock back and forth on the balls of your feet. Would this be a good time to tell them (Sushang, Luocha, and Jing Yuan) about your situation? Maybe they’ll know the answer to it! Hopefully, they know the answer! You go on to tell Sushang and Luocha your situation: how you wake up to Caelus giving you CPR, and you find yourself on the Xianzhou Luofu despite not being from the Xianzhou Luofu. 
Sushang hums and strokes her chin, squinting her eyes at you while chewing on the inside of her cheek. “Do you have memory loss by any chance?” Sushang asks.
Your gaze falls to the ground after hearing her question. Now that you think about it, the last thing you remembered before waking up was being in the void with a man towering over you. He’s so huge that he covered the sun and sky! Should you mention that to them too? You don’t know the man’s name. He told you his name isn’t important, but you know that’s not the case.
“I guess? I don’t really know how I ended up here, really. The last thing I remembered before waking up was being in a void with this tall person, but then I gained consciousness, and here I am!” You say, shrugging your shoulders. 
They all probably think you’re crazy after explaining to them the last thing you saw before waking up to Caelus giving you CPR. You weren’t lying about being in a void with an extremely tall person. Technically, he wasn’t tall— he was a giant. They all look at you like you have just grown a second head. 
Mr. Yang walks over to the group and nods at you, Dan Heng, March, and Caelus. “Alright, General Jing Yuan has given me some information on what we need to do. So far, there aren’t many things to check on the Xianzhou Luofu, but we do have to stop by Jarlio-VI per Caelus’ request,” says Mr. Yang.
March looks at Mr. Yang quizzically. “Why stop by Jarlio-VI? We have already completed what we needed to do on Jarlio-VI,” says March, crossing her arms over her chest.
Caelus hands his phone over to March. March grabs Caelus’ phone and skims through the messages on Caelus’ phone. March sighs and nods, handing Caelus back his phone before propping her hands on her hips.
“Well, it looks like we’ll be seeing some familiar faces again!” March announces.
You look at the group cluelessly, rubbing your arm. Does that mean you’ll have to go to Jarlio-VI with the group as well? I mean, there’s nowhere else for you to go, really. The best option is to tag along with the people that found you unconscious.
March nudges you and gestures to follow her and the three men. “Let’s go! I’ll introduce you to Pom-Pom and Himeko! You’ll love them and the Astral Express!” March grins, grabbing your wrist and pulling you along.
The five of you wave to Sushang, Jing Yuan, and Luocha goodbye before walking out of the room. You didn’t know where they were leading you, but you assumed it was to an area where the four of them were dropped off before they found you unconscious on the ground of the Xianzhou Luofu. 
Right when the five of you are about to reach your destination (or, that’s what you’re assuming because you’re not familiar with the Xianzhou Luofu, nor are you sure where they’re taking you), a figure swoops in out of nowhere and snatches you from March’s grasp.
Everyone stops in their tracks and turns to look at the person holding you hostage. Your back is pressing against the man’s chest, and you feel the man press his sword up against your neck. March, Caelus, and Mr. Yang glare at the man behind you while Dan Heng looks like he just witnessed someone massacre everyone in his village. You swallow your fear and slowly turn your head to see a man with long, dark hair and red eyes. His eyes are focusing on the people standing in front of the two of you.
“So this is the fallen star Kafka mentioned,” the man mutters, looking down at you.
You blink at the man behind you and look at the others cluelessly. “Who is this man, and what does he mean by that?” You ask.
The man behind you tightens his grip around you, his arm wrapping across your chest while continuing to press the sword against your neck. March glares at the man behind you and seethes with anger.
“Let them go, Blade! Don’t involve them in anything!” March shouts.
Dan Heng takes a step closer toward you and Blade, only for Blade to take a step back, bringing you with him. Blade glares at Dan Heng and the others, pressing the edge of the sword against your neck. You close your eyes and visibly wince when the blade nicked your neck, causing a trail of blood to slowly trickle down. Dan Heng and Caelus glare at Blade, getting ready to step forward, when Mr. Yang grabs onto both of the men’s shoulders, shaking his head. 
Blade smirks and chuckles. “I wouldn’t step any closer if I were you. If you want them to come out unscathed, then you will comply with my and Kafka’s orders,” said Blade.
You nudge the man behind you. “What do you mean when you mentioned fallen star? I’m not a fallen star,” you grumble, glaring at Blade from the corner of your eyes. “And for your information, I didn’t come out unscathed.” You gesture to your neck.
One minute you were in a void with an enormous man before you, then you woke up to Caelus giving you CPR on the Xianzhou Luofu, and now you’re being held hostage by a man named Blade on the Xianzhou Luofu. Can this get any worse?
Blade huffs and tightens his grip around you, not taking his eyes off the people standing before you and him. “Two hours before your arrival to the Xianzhou Luofu, Kafka reported a strange light flying across the galaxy. That light was presumed to be a fallen star, and the light led to the Xianzhou Luofu. In case none of you realized it, the fallen star is this one right here,” says Blade, gesturing to you.
You furrow your eyebrows after hearing Blade’s explanation. You have to be honest here; whatever Blade just said to you, Mr. Yang, Dan Heng, Caelus, and March, it sounds ridiculous. You? A fallen star? What does that even mean? You fell out from the sky and somehow ended up on the Xianzhou Luofu? Not only does it sound ridiculous, but it doesn’t seem probable because you didn’t have any markings on you aside from the cut on your neck from Blade’s sword.
You close your eyes and rest your head on Blade’s shoulders, catching him off guard. You turn your head slightly and peek at him. “And what do you and this Kafka person want from me exactly? You make it seem like I’m some rare gem from space, finally crashing and landing somewhere,” you comment.
Blade remains silent, staring down at you while you stare at him in return. It almost seems like he doesn’t have a plan for what to do with you. Other than holding you hostage in front of your (possibly) temporary traveling companions. You frown at Blade after a few minutes of him not responding to your question. You elbow Blade in the gut before pushing his arms off you with a huff, walking away from the man.
You and the others were surprised to see that Blade didn’t retaliate. He seems to be the type that gets set off easily. But since he didn’t slash at you or lash out at you for elbowing him in the stomach and pushing his arms off your person, it genuinely shocked the others. You rub and graze your fingers over the cut on your neck. 
You narrow your eyes at Blade and walk over to where the others are standing. March runs up to you to assess the open wound on your neck. March sighs in relief, looking over at Blade with a glare before pulling you to the side while Caelus, Dan Heng, and Mr. Yang deal with Blade to the side.
You watch Blade, Dan Heng, Caelus, and Mr. Yang stand before each other, not saying a word. Their weapons are drawn out, but no one has started anything. They all stand there, staring at each other in silence, while March struggles to pull a bandaid out from her pocket. March hands you the bandaid after successfully grabbing the bandaid. 
March turns to look at the four men with one hand on her hip while the other is on your shoulder. “Hey, are you guys just going to stand there and stare at each other all day, or are you guys going to fight it out?” demands March, glaring at the men.
Blade smirks and tightens his grip on his sword. “If that’s what you want, then a fight is what you shall receive,” says Blade.
Blade was about to lunge at the three men before him, but a woman with red wine-colored hair appeared out of nowhere, placing her hand on Blade’s shoulders. Blade stops in his tracks and looks over his shoulders at the woman. 
She gives him a smile and chuckles, looking in your direction. “It’s good to see you, little shooting star. I apologize that you had to meet us this way, but our destinies are intertwined no matter where you go and how far we are from each other,” says the woman.
Everyone stares at the woman in silence. Everyone but you seem tensed at her mere presence. She takes her hand off Blade’s shoulders before walking toward your and March’s direction. Caelus and Dan Heng block her way, holding their weapons out in front of them while glaring at the woman.
The woman frowns and looks at Caelus with a pout. Almost like she was mocking him. “Oh, Caelus. Do you not trust me after all we’ve been through?” she asks, crossing her arms over her chest.
March lets out a loud scoff. “Can you blame us for not trusting you after all that stuff you put us through, Kafka?!” March asks, glaring at the red wine-colored-haired woman.
‘Kafka?’ you mouthed to yourself, furrowing your eyebrows. The gorgeous woman is Kafka? Not only was she stunning, but the way she was looking at you was sending chills down your spine. There’s something about her you couldn’t put your fingers on. She seems powerful and the leader of this whole situation. Maybe the word ring-leader would suit her since Blade does follow her orders around like a dog. 
Kafka turns around and starts walking away. “Come on, Bladie. It seems like we’ll have to find another time to meet [Y/N] again. For now, let’s part our ways,” says Kafka.
You freeze in your spot and look at Kafka with wide eyes. How in the world does she know your name when you haven’t introduced yourself to Blade and Kafka? Kafka looks over her shoulders and smiles at you before disappearing from everyone’s sight. Blade huffs and puts his sword away, turning around and following after Kafka. 
March huffs. “Kafka and her dog are going to search for [Y/N] again. I don’t think it’s safe for them to be alone,” March states, looking at Mr. Yang, Dan Heng, and Caelus. “It’s best they remain on the Astral Express with us until further notice.”
You furrow your eyebrows and give March a questioning look. What does she mean by you remaining on the Astral Express until further notice? Until you find a home somewhere and can finally leave them alone? Where are you going to go? You’re on a ship that’s traversing through space, and now you’re going to be on a train that also travels through space. 
“Let’s return to the Astral Express, and then we can talk about it after stopping by Jarlio-VI,” says Mr. Yang.
The five of you continued your way to the area where Dan Heng, Caelus, March, and Mr. Yang were dropped off. You’re kind of excited to step foot on the Astral Express and Jarlio-VI. Mainly Jarlio-VI because of how March described it, along with the stories she told you when she, Caelus, and Dan Heng visited the frozen planet due to the eternal freeze.
A frozen planet sounds interesting because not many things can survive and thrive in such conditions. It makes you wonder if there were any wild animals that roam Jarlio-VI aside from humans and creatures March, Dan Heng, and Caelus passively mentioned. Speaking of creatures the trio mentioned, you’re hoping you won’t have to deal with it or get caught in the crossfire. 
Your stay on the Astral Express was short, and you met Pom-Pom and Himeko! They’re very welcoming, and Himeko is like an older sister, and perhaps a mother, figure to you despite you knowing her for less than a few hours. Despite your visitation of the Astral Express being short, you somehow managed to fall asleep while the train was headed to Jarlio-VI.
When you open your eyes, you find yourself in the void again. The very same void you were in before you woke up to Caelus giving you (failed) CPR. You look around, and there is the man towering over you. 
You frown at the (gorgeous) man and rub your eyes. “It seems like the only time I’ll see you again is through my dreams, huh? I’m starting to think you’re not real and that you’re a figment of my imagination,” you say, crossing your arms over your chest. 
The man chuckles and gazes at you with an amused look on his face. Damn, his smile is breathtaking, but it’s too bad he’s not real. Or at least that’s what you’re assuming. The man beckons you to come closer. You push yourself off the ground and walk toward him while scanning your surroundings. 
You weren’t just in a void, but there were tiny stars sparkling around you and the massive man before you. The man holds his hand out, placing them before you. You stare at his hands questionably before stepping on his hand, letting him lift you to his eye level.
“We will meet very soon, little one. Now is not a good time to meet,” he says.
You frown at the man, letting out a huff before crossing your arms over your chest like a petulant child. “No matter what you tell me, I’ll always assume you’re a figment of my imagination. At least tell me your name,” you murmur, looking at him from the corner of your eyes.
The man smiles at you and nods. “My name’s Nanook and I promise we will meet in person soon. For now, this is the only way I will be able to communicate with you--- through your dreams.” He caresses your hair with his index finger.
You stare at Nanook without saying a word, still not convinced that he’s real. Nanook sighs and gives you a small smile. From a distance, you hear someone call your name. You look away from Nanook and begin searching for the voice. Nanook sighs, putting you back on the ground and smiling at you almost sadly. You’re about to ask him what was wrong when the world around you slowly fades away.
“Wake up!”
Your eyelids snap open, and you sit up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. March sighs and collapses across from you while Caelus and Dan Heng stand to the side with unreadable expressions on their faces. 
March huffs and narrows her eyes at you. “Finally! I’ve been trying to wake you up for the past ten minutes!” March says.
You blink at March and look at Dan Heng and Caelus, who nods in response. How long have you been asleep? March was trying to wake you up for ten minutes, but it didn’t feel that long. You were with Nanook in your dreams for what felt like three minutes or less. Were you asleep for that long?
“We’re arriving at Jarlio-VI very soon. Gepard and Sampo will be meeting us at the Administrative District,” says Dan Heng.
Caelus and Dan Heng walk off, leaving you and March alone on the couch. Caelus nudges Dan Heng, looking at you from over his shoulders and then at the black-haired man worriedly. Dan Heng chews on the inside of his cheek, leaning against the wall while waiting for the Astral Express to reach its destination.
“You heard that, right? [Y/N] mumbling Nanook’s name in their sleep,” says Caelus.
Dan Heng nods. Before Dan Heng can reply, the Astral Express comes to a complete stop, and Pom-Pom announces the Astral Express’s arrival to Jarlio-VI from where they were standing. You and March get up from the couch and stretch your arms and legs. 
You rub the base of your neck and wince when you feel it strain. Great, now you have a crick in your neck from sleeping on the couch in the Astral Express for who knows how long. March loops her arms around yours, dragging you out of the Astral Express with Dan Heng and Caelus following behind. 
March looks over her shoulders, shouting, “Come on, Mr. Yang! We don’t have all day!” March continues to pull you along to the Administrative District with a wide smile on her face while you’re trying your best to keep up with the hyperactive girl. 
Himeko crosses her arms over her chest and taps on her chin. “You feel it too, right?” Himeko asks, looking over at the brown-haired man.
Mr. Yang raises his eyebrows at Himeko, waiting for her to clarify. Himeko chuckles, shaking her head, looking at the entrance of the Astral Express, where you, March, Dan Heng, and Caelus ran out. Technically, you were dragged out of the Astral Express by March.
“The sense of familiarity with [Y/N]. Almost like we know them despite never meeting them. This connection….” Himeko trails off, humming softly. Himeko chuckles and looks at Mr. Yang, gesturing for him to follow after you, March, Dan Heng, and Caelus.
Back to you and the trio, the three of you walk around the Administrative District searching for these Gepard and Sampo people. From what you have been told, Gepard is the little brother of Serval, and Sampo is some con artist the trio met in the underworld. You’re looking forward to meeting Gepard and Sampo! They sound like interesting people, especially Sampo.
“Fams! There you guys are!” You hear someone call from a distance.
The four of you turn in the direction of the voice to see an indigo-haired man and a blond man approaching your group. The indigo-haired man smiles widely and waves at the four of you. When you and the indigo-haired man make eye contact, his eyes seem to light up, and the smile on his face becomes wider before he sprints in your and the trio’s direction.
The green-eyed indigo-haired man and the blond man with blue eyes stop before your group, looking at you curiously. You can’t help but feel self-conscious under their gaze. Their clothes are interesting, but it looks nice on them. Wait, are you staring at them? You snap out of your thoughts and look away, trying to act like you weren’t staring at them. 
“Caelus, March, Dan Heng, care to introduce us to your new traveling companion?” asks the blond man, staring you down with those blue eyes of his.
March smiles widely and nods before happily introducing you to the two men before you. You smile at them politely and wave at them. The two men introduce themselves to you not long after, and you are glad their names are easy to remember because you’re not the best at remembering the names of the people you have just met.
“Not to come off as rude or anything, but you don’t seem to be from here,” Sampo says, looking at you curiously.
Gepard looks at Sampo from the corner of his eyes before shaking his head. “Sorry if what he said came off as rude. Sampo has no manners,” Gepard mutters, crossing his arms over his chest. 
You laugh and wave your hand in front of you. “No, no, it’s fine! Sampo asked a genuine question, and I’m sure there are other people that are curious as well,” you say, giving Sampo and Gepard a small smile. 
You and the others walk around the Administrative District while you tell Gepard and Sampo the situation. You woke up on the Xianzhou Luofu, unsure of how you ended up on the ship. Prior to gaining consciousness, you were in a void with Nanook. Of course, you didn’t tell Sampo and Gepard about you knowing Nanook’s name, only how he’s a tall figure that covered the sun and sky. 
While you tell the two men your situation, Mr. Yang ends up catching up to your group, and the seven of you stop near the theater. Sampo and Gepard didn’t make a comment on your sudden appearance on the Xianzhou Luofu, but they have tried asking you a few questions. 
“Everything is starting to feel familiar, but I can’t put my finger on it.” You murmur, scanning your surroundings.
Belobog is beautiful and cold, but there’s something unnerving about it. On the other hand, the Xianzhou Luofu doesn’t feel eerie or ominous. The others look at you curiously, wondering what you mean when you say everything is starting to feel familiar. 
Sampo, being the man that he is, slides in front of you and gives you a charming smile before flicking his bangs away from his eyes. “Pardon me saying this so suddenly, but I’m sensing you feel a connection between us?” asks Sampo, gesturing between you and him.
You blink at Sampo. “Yes,” you reply slowly. “I guess that’s a better way of putting it.” 
Sampo looks at you with wide eyes, his cheeks tinting pink. Sampo clears his throat and tucks an invisible strand of hair behind his ears. “Oh? So you do feel that connection between us!” Sampo grins.
Your head is beginning to hurt, and there’s a low ringing in your ears that’s gradually getting louder and louder. You tried to act normal and playfully scoffed at Sampo’s comment before walking to the nearest bench near the theater. When you walk off with March at your side, Gepard looks at Sampo while Dan Heng, Mr. Yang, and Caelus trade glances at each other.
Gepard hums, furrowing his eyebrows. “So, you feel that too?” Gepard mutters.
Sampo does a double take and looks at Gepard with wide eyes. “What do you mean by ‘too’? I was talking to [Y/N], not you!” says Sampo, huffing.
Dan Heng, Caelus, Mr. Yang, and Gepard stare at Sampo with blank expressions. Sampo blinks at them and laughs nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. Gepard sighs, trying to ignore the strange pull in his chest.
“You’re not the only one that feels that connection, you know?” Gepard hisses, glaring at Sampo.
Sampo’s eyes widen, and he holds his hands up in front of him, laughing. “Whoa, there, buddy. Listen, I don’t know what you’re trying to imply, but I don’t feel a connection with you! I feel a connection with [Y/N], but certainly not you! Plus, why would I, Sampo Koski, be with someone that constantly tries to put me in jail?” Sampo asks.
Caelus snorts and rolls his eyes. “That’s not what Gepard is implying, Sampo,” Caelus comments, pressing his lips into a thin line to prevent himself from laughing in Sampo’s face.
Sampo looks at Caelus quizzically, then at Dan Heng. Dan Heng raises an eyebrow at Sampo, crossing his arms over his chest. 
Dan Heng sighs before answering, “Gepard is implying that you’re not the only one that feels the connection with [Y/N]. Gepard feels the same connection with [Y/N] as well.”
Mr. Yang looks at Sampo and Gepard, surprised. He clears his throat to grab the four men’s attention before pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Himeko mentioned the same thing before I caught up with the rest of you. Himeko says she feels a sense of familiarity when she saw [Y/N], although I don’t think she feels the same as the rest of us,” Mr. Yang explains. 
Gepard’s eyebrows shoot to his hairline. “What do you mean by the rest of us? Do all of you feel the same way toward [Y/N]?” Gepard demands, chewing on his bottom lip.
Despite not getting a response from the four men in front of him, Gepard already knows the answer to his question. Every one of these men feels some kind of connection with you. Heck, even Himeko says she feels a sense of familiarity with you, according to Mr. Yang. A sense of familiarity is different from the tugging in their chests when they’re around you. The best way to describe it is a gravitational pull. It makes them want to be closer to you and be near you.
“Does anyone know they feel the same way?” Gepard asks, looking at you from the corner of his eyes. “I know they told Sampo they feel it as well, but what if they’re saying it to get Sampo off their back?” Gepard asks, propping one hand on his hip while stroking his chin.
The rest of the day went by in a blur to you. The last thing you remembered before losing consciousness was Himeko showing you where your temporary room is located on the Astral Express. Nanook communicated with you through your dreams twice, but this time, he didn’t make an appearance. You slept for a few hours, only to be woken up by someone knocking at the door.
You roll out of bed and stumble to the door, grabbing the doorknob and opening the door without a second thought. At first, you thought it was going to be March that was standing at the door, ready to show a photo book of her, Dan Heng, Mr. Yang, and Caelus trailblazing, but instead, it was Jing Yuan, Blade, and Luocha that’s standing at the door.
Just when you were feeling groggy, you’re now alert and surprised. You stare at the trio with wide eyes and peek over their shoulders. Why are they at the Astral Express? Shouldn’t they be at the Xianzhou Luofu? And as for Blade, you’re not entirely sure why he’s with Jing Yuan and Luocha at the Astral Express.
You give the three men a fake smile. “Jing Yuan, Luocha, and Blade! What a surprise! If you don’t mind me asking, what are you three doing here?” You ask, running your hands through your bedhead. 
Jing Yuan chuckles. “It’s good to see you too, [Y/N]. We came to check up on you to see if you were okay. Caelus informed us that you weren’t feeling well when you were on Jarlio-VI,” says Jing Yuan.
You stare at Jing Yuan like a fish out of water. “Oh! I’m fine, really! I didn’t think you would stop by to check up on me after hearing what happened,” you say, clearing your throat.
Luocha smiles and pats your head. “We were worried about your well-being! Of course, we would stop by to see if you’re okay! Are we not allowed to do that?” Luocha asks, batting his eyelashes at you.
You feel yourself becoming flustered under their gaze, and you look away, rubbing the back of your neck. Then you realize that Blade is also standing there, behind Luocha and Jing Yuan, staring at you menacingly. Well, he was just staring at you like a normal person, but the look was menacing to you. 
You point an accusing finger at Blade. “Why are you here? Didn’t you go somewhere with Kafka after our encounter at the Xianzhou Loufu?!” You demand, taking a step back.
Blade blinks at you. “What do you mean? Am I not allowed to check up on you?” Blade asks, raising an eyebrow at you.
You snort and lean against the door, glaring at the long, dark-haired man behind Luocha and Jing Yuan. “That’s rich coming from someone that cut my neck the other day!” You say, pointing at the bandaid on your neck.
Jing Yuan and Luocha slowly turn to look at Blade. Their demeanors shift suddenly, and the temperature in the area seems to drop. Blade frowns and ignores the glares Luocha, and Jing Yuan are giving him.
Blade sighs. “I didn’t mean to cut your neck, alright? I didn’t think the edge of the sword would be that sharp,” Blade mutters.
You grumble and shift on one foot, looking at the ground. “Yeah, well, I’m doing fine now. I appreciate you three checking up on me, really. Even though you all didn’t need to do that.” you say.
Jing Yuan chuckles. “Well, when it comes to you, we’re willing to drop everything we’re doing to make sure you’re safe,” says Jing Yuan, giving you a closed-eye smile.
“Now that we have checked up on you, I think we should leave you alone to rest now,” Luocha says, smiling at you.
You give Luocha a smile in return and bid the three men goodbye before closing the door. You walk to your bed and collapse on it, closing your eyes. When you open your eyes, you’re back in the void, standing before Nanook. Nanook lets you stand on his hand and lifts you to his eyes, caressing your cheek with his index finger.
“My beautiful, shining star. We will meet soon,” Nanook murmurs.
You place your hands over Nanook’s finger, leaning into his touch. “What do you mean by shining star? Blade and Kafka called me a fallen star. Is there a correlation between the two?”  you ask.
“That, I cannot tell you, my shining star. You will know soon enough,” replies Nanook.
The void around you fades away, and you wake up to see people surrounding you. You blink at them and sit up, but Dan Heng pushes you back down on the bed. You look at Dan Heng and the others with a questioning look. Your moment with Nanook was cut so suddenly. Did something happen?
You rub your eyes. “What happened? Why is everyone in my room?” You ask.
Himeko sighs in relief, smiling at you. “We’re just glad you’re okay, that’s all,” says Himeko
You stare at Himeko and the others quizzically. “Then, does that mean I can continue my sleep?” You ask.
March’s eyes widen, and she looks at the others with panic. “Uh, yes! But you’ve been sleeping so much today! Do you want to walk around the Astral Express with us? You know, for fresh air and maybe get something to eat after?” March asks. 
You shrug, rolling off the bed and stretching your arms in the air. “Yeah, sure, why not? I don’t think I had anything to eat today, so I might as well walk around the Astral Express and get something to eat after.”
March grins and grabs you by your wrist before pulling you out of your room with the others following behind. You’re not sure if you want to know what happened before you woke up, but everyone in the room looks… shaken up, if that’s the right way to describe it.
Note: Not gonna lie, I kind of like how this fic turned out. The starting "chapter" of the new series is completely different from how I started the Genshin Impact Isekai fic. I have way too many ideas for Honkai Star Rail, and I'm excited to post more for Honkai Star Rail along with the Genshin fics. I might make a more organized masterlist for all of my fics, but I'm not sure when I'll do that 🤔 To my new and/or returning readers, please keep in mind that I ONLY post on my Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and my AO3 (Aaliah_exo)! Nowhere else except Tumblr and AO3!
Read more of my works on my Masterlist | Maybe support me by tipping me on Ko-Fi or by reblogging my fanfics! ^^ I will also be posting exclusive fanfics on Ko-Fi as well very soon! I might post all of my stories on there too, but who knows. You can also tip me on Tumblr if you'd like as a way to show support! ^^
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l0vergirlwrites · 12 days
Text
gulity as sin ; eddie munson
synopsis: since eddie joined your friend group, you’ve fallen for him. but sometimes the feelings you’ve harboured for him make you feel guilty—but he’s just too dreamy, so how could anyone blame you?
warnings: sexual innuendos, mentions of weed & alcohol & partying, mentions of sexual thoughts, downbad!reader & eddie, love confession & makeout!!!!
note: i just had to get this out of my system but i’ll write my next ttpd fic based on the winning things on the polls don’t worry!!
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“just so you know, you’re staring at eddie like you wanna fuck him” robin whispered in your ear as she came to your side with extra vcr tapes to stack near the back of the store.
“jesus! am i really?” you asked in a hushed whisper, face crowing warm with embarrassment. you couldn’t help it when eddie just looked so good as he leaned on the front counter talking to steve.
while you mentally face palmed yourself, robin gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “just a little bit”
peeking back over her shoulder at eddie to make sure he wasn’t looking at you (because you’re anxious & paranoid), you let out a breath of relief. “you think he noticed?”
she laughed “i hope not”
letting out a quiet gasp, you shoved robin’s shoulder “thanks for the vote of confidence, rob” you said sarcastically.
“i’m sorry, i’m sorry!—but seriously…” she paused for moment to create dramatic effect. “when are you gonna fess up & tell him how you feel?”
the big question.
with a big sigh, you shook your head in retreat. “probably never. it’s just some stupid crush—& besides, we’re just friends. i don’t know if he’d like me like that, rob.” you said while getting back to work, trying to get the image of eddie’s ring clad hands out of your mind so you could focus.
“is that really how you feel? or is your fear of rejection speaking for you?”
narrowing your eyes at her, you rolled your eyes knowing she was kidding (but was she? were you really hiding behind a guise so you wouldn’t get hurt?).
“you know,” she paused to look at eddie. “if he doesn’t want to jump your bones, i’d be floored” she said cheekily, causing you to nudge her rib cage.
“he doesn’t” you stated, but in your mind you hated the thought of it.
“if that’s what’ll help you sleep at night” she chided before moving onto a different shelf, the open space letting your eyes drift back to eddie, only to find that he was looking right at you.
“you coming to the party by reefer rick’s place on the weekend? i convinced stevie boy here to tag along—“
“—& to be the DD. i don’t know how i got roped into this” steve cut eddie off with an exasperated expression.
with the spotlight (eddie’s eyes) on you, you couldn’t help but feel stuck in place & your mind was running a million miles a minute.
clearing your throat, you nodded. “yeah sure! i should be able to if keith doesn’t make me come in last minute”
the last sentence caused eddie to roll his eyes.
“who cares about what keith says—you’re coming & you’re gonna have fun! you’re deserving of blowing off some steam, right?” eddie said convincingly.
“he’s right! fuck keith & his stupid last minute shift calls“ robin agreed with steve soon following suit.
jokingly with your hands up in surrender, you finally agreed. “maybe you guys are right…”
“of course we are, babe!”
the pet name eddie called you made your stomach flip in six directions, your face growing warm until steve beat you to speak.
“when the hell did ‘babe’ get into your vocabulary, munson?” he asked eddie with a quizzical eye.
“oh calm your tits harrington—“
“hey man, i don’t have tits & i am calm so shut—“
“hey!” you yelled, shutting them both up. “no bickering on my watch, idiots” you pointed to them both, causing eddie to place his right hand in his heart in apology.
“what do you expect,” robin chimed in. “they’re five year olds”
you both laughed a bit at her comment while the guys just rolled their eyes.
“well, i’m gonna head out & prep for my next campaign. butttt, i’ll see you geeks saturday?” he asked while twirling his van keys around his index finger.
before steve could try to rebuttle against eddie about him calling you all “geeks”, you beat him to it.
“yes—we’ll be there! bye eds” you waved sweetly, your hand flattering when eddie shot you a wink before heading out the door.
as the glass door chimed & shut after his departure, you immediately turned to robin.
“he winked at me!” you mouthed to her with excitement.
“are you guys secretly talking without including me, again?”
turning to steve, you gave him an apologetic look. “she was just fawning over how eddie winked at her” robin said with a nonchalant smile, causing you to gasp.
“robin—“
“why do you care if he—wait… ohhh… that makes sense” he lit up like a light bulb, going back to checking through the return log on the computer.
you stood there stumped at his reaction.
“is me liking eddie predictable?” you asked aloud, causing steve & robin to share a glance.
“yes” they said collectively, leaving you to sigh & turn back to the shelf to finish stacking the pile of tapes.
**~*~**~*~*~**~*~~*~**~*~*~~***~*
it was now saturday, & you were on speaker phone with robin as you were getting ready for the party.
you had decided to wear a short flowy black skirt, fishnet tights, your favourite black boots, & a dark green babytee with your favourite band on it. it was simple, but cute (& you secretly hoped eddie would think the tights were a nice touch).
“do you think you’ll tell eddie how you feel once you get some liquid courage in you?” she asked genuinely.
with a thoughtful sigh, you stopped applying blush to your right cheek. “gosh, rob—i don’t know. i don’t think it’s a good idea”.
you could tell she was shaking her head from the other side of the phone.
“remember when i was too afraid to tell vicky i liked her?”
you knew what she was gonna say. “yes, i do”
“so, you remember how you told me i should just ‘go for it! do it before it’s too late—what’s the worst that could happen?’, right?”
you slumped in your desk chair, fidgeting with your makeup brush. “yes…”
“sooo, you gotta practice what you preach—tell him before you regret it!” she encouraged, but still, you were horrified to.
“what if—“
she shushed you. “no what ifs. don’t do that to yourself—just be honest when the right moment comes along”
staying silent for a moment, you thought it over in your head before coming to a conclusion.
“maybe you are right, robin”
“i’m always right—regardless of what steve says” her words made you laugh, relieving you of a little stress.
**~*~*~~~*~***~*~**~**~*~*~~*
it was now nine-thirty on the dot & you could hear steve’s beamer honking from your driveway, signalling that it’s time to go. as soon as you stepped onto your driveway, you were met with hollers & whistles from your friends in the car—including eddie.
as soon as you saw him with his head out the window, whistling & vocally saying “shit y/n, looking good!”, you could’ve sworn you were going to collapse then & there.
shushing them before their hyper annoyed your neighbours, you (coincidentally) got into the backseat with eddie.
“you have everything?” steve asked before reversing the car.
“yes, dad” you joked before a silver flask was shoved into your lap.
“got you your favourite” eddie told you with a smile, causing you to audibly “awe” & thank him before taking a swing from it.
despite steve having a fancy car, the backseat was surprisingly small, so you knew it was going to be a long night with how your thigh is already pressed into eddie’s & his fingers were tapping his jean clad thigh dangerously close to your exposed one.
you caught him every now & then staring at your tights too, which didn’t help the fantasies brewing in your mind of him taking them off you.
“you excited?” you asked him while steve & robin were caught in their own conversation.
swiping his tongue across his teeth, he looked at you with a gaze that made your stomach tighten. “as long as you stick close by, then yeah i’m excited” he nudged you gently, allowing you a moment to process what he just fucking said.
tucking your hair behind your ears (a sign that you were nervous & liked him & were going insane), you let the conversation drift into comfortable silence as steve turned the radio up.
thank god for that.
**~*~~**~**~***~**~*~~**~**~*
the party eddie brought you guys to was packed at some random house on lover’s lake.
& it reeked of pot & beer, which was normal & expected.
with the flask eddie gave you in your right hand & eddie’s hand in your other (because the front lawn was packed & he didn’t want to lose you), your group maneuvered your way inside to disco party lights, sweaty bodies, more pot & more beer.
your grip on eddie’s hand was taut as you continued sliding past more & more people while muttering “excuse me, sorry!” over & over until you guys arrived on the dance floor.
“do you want anything?” eddie leaned down & whispered into your ear so you could hear over the music.
you took a second to answer because of how warm his breath felt against your skin. “no i’m okay, i got this remember?” you said with a smile, holding up the flask he gave you.
returning you a smile, eddie let go of your hand because robin was pulling you to dance a little.
“be back in five!” eddie mouthed to you, holding up five fingers & looking at you until you waved in acknowledgment.
“okay there’s no way he doesn’t want you” robin yelled into your ear as the song changed & people roared happily.
laughing & shaking your head, you disagreed.
“cmon! let’s just dance, yeah? destress!” steve yelled to you both before bopping his head to the music, causing you & robin to look at each other before laughing & join in.
the more songs played & the more you swing back eddie’s flask, you could feel yourself letting loose a little—possibly even making you feel courageous.
so much so that when eddie returned with a red solo cup with some sort of drink, you slung your arm around his middle for a quick hug.
“missed me?” he yelled in your ear.
“just maybe” you replied, feeling his right hand rub your arm up & down before fetching a joint from his pocket.
“missed me more now?” he asked again, laughing when you nodded your head, eyes glassy from the smoke in the room that was building.
“outside?” he yelled again, & you were the only one that agreed.
*~*~*~~*~~*~*~~**~***~*
departing from steve & robin to go smoke, eddie grabbed your hand once again & kept you close as you both made your way to the back porch that outlooked onto the water.
the backyard was still filled with people, especially jocks who were doing dumb keg games, but you didn’t mind. with your back against the siding of the house & eddie in front of you, caging you in, all you saw was him.
& god he looked hot. his hair was a bit frizzy, but his leather jacket managed to showcase his muscular arms & his slightly cropped band tee allowed you to see the happy trail on his abdomen.
it took everything in your power not to fold then & there.
“you want the first hit?” eddie asked as passed you his drink & pulled his lighter out of his pocket.
with a simple nod, you placed the joint between your lipstick covered lips & leaned forward for eddie to light the end of it for you. the action felt extremely intimate & already hand your skin tingling.
with the joint slotted between your fingers, you took a few hits & relished in the buzzed feeling it already gave you. & knowing eddie & is interest in pot, you knew whatever was wrapped within the joint was the good shit.
while you were taking your hits, eddie was reminding himself to not get hard at the thought of your lipstick rubbing off onto the joint or how you looked pretty with smoke exhaling from your mouth—he could feel his pants start to feel the tiniest bit tight at his view of you.
when you handed the joint to him, eddie stood beside you on the wall & took his time (possibly so you could look at him a little longer?).
& you didn’t care because he just looked too perfect with his head tilted up, the veins in his neck showing in the porch light, the joint rested between his ring clad fingers—you could already imagine yourself getting off to this image of him later—but you reminded yourself to stay cool.
everything was fine! you guys were just friends!
“you feeling okay?” eddie asked, turning to you who was already giving him soft doe eyes.
“better than okay” you smiled, leaning your head against his shoulder because you felt too warm under his gaze.
“wanna get off inside?” you heard him ask, causing you to cough & blink for a moment.
“shit—what did you say?” you looked at him, feeling his hand begin to interlock with yours again.
“i asked if you wanna go back inside—you sure you’re good?”
oh god, now you were hearing things.
“y-yeah, good idea” you mumbled as you followed his lead, holding on tight to avoid getting broken apart through the sea of teenagers & college students.
you only broke apart when robin pulled you in for a hug, hearing her say “it felt like you were gone for ages!”
for the rest do the night, you told yourself to he lost in the music rather than thoughts of eddie munson doing nasty things to you, which was going pretty successful until you felt his breath on your neck again.
“wanna dance?”
& how on earth could you say no?!?!
you let him pull you into his arms, his hands firm on your waist while yours were loose around his neck.
with the pot & other alcohol mixing in your system, you felt on top of the world. especially with eddie’s eyes on you. he’d twirl you around in circles & give you room to dance your heart out with him in your grasp & steve & robin would give each other knowing glances about whatever was brewing between you too.
you felt hot, sticky, & tingly all over your skin (not just because eddie was touching you) so you pulled his head down a bit to yell in his ear. “i’m gonna find a washroom!” & he was leading you around the house to find one without a question.
once you both found one of the third floor of this outrageous house, you pulled eddie in with you & turned on the light, thankful there was a dim setting.
“jesus, that was bright!” eddie shielded his eyes, causing you to laugh as you hopped up onto the counter.
exhaling a sigh of relief, you let your head lean back & rest against the mirror while eddie leaned against the closed door.
“do you need me to like, turn around or something…?” he asked, wondering what you were going to do.
“no—i just wanted to go somewhere quieter. less sweaty bodies”
he nodded understandingly before shamefully looking you up & down, telling himself to not get hard at the sight of you so pretty. you were already falling down a rabbit hole of all the things you want to do with him right now, each more dirty than the next—it would be just so easy for him to take off your skirt & unbuckle his pants—wouldn’t it?
but the guilt started to seep in & make you hide your face to groan in annoyance because why on earth were you spiralling like this?
“is something wrong?” he walked to you, holding your wrists & pulling them away to uncover you.
“just going insane is all” you replied, causing you both to laugh until he reached up to wipe off some of your smudged eyeliner from your under eye. he just needed to touch you somehow.
“guess what an old friend told me while i was getting a drink earlier”
you tilted your head in wonder, staring directly at eddie’s lips as he spoke.
“he saw us walk inside & told me that we looked like some couple from a movie—don’t remember which one though…” he ended with a murmur, too focussed on swiping his thumb on your cheek until you spoke up.
“is that a bad thing?” you asked, suddenly feeling small in this washroom with his hand directly on your skin.
eddie was closing in on you now, & you didn’t want it to stop.
you instantly felt sober now. especially with how each swipe on your skin felt like he was making you his—which was definitely an exaggeration but how could you need feel that way when he was holding you so delicately?
shaking his head ‘no’, eddie’s brows furrowed. “of course not—it’s not a bad thing. i-i just thought it was, i dunno, cute—“
“cute?” you questioned softer than him, a smile in the beginning stages of forming on your face.
was this your moment that robin was talking about? you sure hoped so.
“i-i think that’s the right word” he stumbled over his words, feeling your right hand brush some hair out of his face.
“i think so too”
& then there was comfortable silence.
you weren’t sure how to move forward from here. do you tell him all your feelings for him that you’ve keep hidden in a vault at the back of your mind? do you tell him that you’ve been fantasizing about him for weeks? that he’s the only one that makes you feel so many things?
you wish this part was easier.
“would it be, i dunno, uncalled for if i told you that you’ve been driving me crazy?” eddie asked, immediately unlocking said vault inside you.
“are you serious?” you asked, completely sober now as you pulled his hand away from your face & fixed your posture, eyes locked on his for the answer.
“as serious as the dead” his breath hitched, unsure if he made things worse or misread whatever signs you sent, but before he could apologize your hands were already on his face to pull his lips to yours.
it was a messy, top lip & hungry kiss that you’ve been dying to experience since you first laid eyes on him. & god did it felt right, with his tongue meshing with yours & his hands gripping your fishnet covered thighs as he pulled you closer to his body with aching need.
it was the kind of kiss that tried to convey just how you felt about him, the wanting & lusting from afar, the longing glances & lip bites when he made you feel a certain type of way.
it was catastrophic & heavy but sweet with laboured breaths of beer & smudged lipstick.
“holy shit” eddie breathed out against your lips, chasing him for another kiss because it was just that good but you were smiling & clashing your teeth against his & giggling from how silly it all felt.
“that is why i’ve been going insane” you panted against him, hands falling to grip the cotton of his shirt.
“i’m crazy about you eddie. & it’s not the drugs talking, i promise” you swore, scouts honour.
with his forehead pressing against yours & laugh escaping his lips that had little bits of your lipstick, he squeezed your thighs. “i would hope not, ‘cause i’m really crazy about you too”
you closed your eyes now, relishing in the weight lifting off your shoulders & how his touch felt electric. “eddie” you exhaled.
“yeah, sweetheart?” his fingers were pressing different patterns on your thighs to the point where you asked in yourself if he was writing ‘mine’ across the fishnet material.
“can we do this again tomorrow?” you asked, already longing for this feeling to last, praying this wouldn’t be just a one time thing at a party.
“i don’t plan on letting you go anytime soon, so yeah, i think we can make it happen” eddie smirked, kissing you quick before pulling back to see your swollen lips.
“wanna go back to the party & surprise the geeks?”
“i’d love to”
& with eddie whisking you from the counter, hand on your hip as he lead you back downstairs, you both immediately saw steve & robin jumping up & down happily when they witnessed you two looking like love sick idiots who finally fessed up.
young love, am i right?
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darthannie · 4 months
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like real people do
pairing: Astarion x reader
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word count: 788 warnings: fluff, kissing, cuddling a/n: For my first Astarion fic I really wanted to explore what other type of intimacy he could receive because dear god I just want him to feel loved and cared for. And that can happen through sex, but I didn’t want to include that in this one. 
You were sore and wanted nothing more than a warm, relaxing bath. You’d come by an inn where you and your traveling companions could have a proper rest and a proper bath. However, you hadn’t expected to find Astarion sitting in the very bath you had your sights set on.
You immediately shielded your eyes with a sharp gasp, as if there was a need for modesty. As if you and Astarion hadn’t shared many nights together, exploring each other and all your capabilities.
“Oh come on, it’s nothing you haven’t seen before,” he said with a grin. You sighed and smiled, removing your hand from in front of your eyes. “Need something?”, he asked. He looked gorgeous. His skin glowed. The tips of his hair were wet from the steamy bath. He seemed relaxed. 
You took him in as you responded, “Yes, I just… I thought the room was empty and I wanted to take a bath.”
He lifted his arm with a flourish, “Well, don’t let me stop you.”
Your weight shifted from one side to the other as you said, “You quite literally are stopping me.”
“Come on, there’s more than enough room for two. Don’t get shy on me now.”
You stood there for a moment, deep in thought until you relented. 
You walked towards the tub and you removed your shirt, pants, and undergarments. Astarion’s eyes followed your movements as you got into the tub. “See, that wasn’t so hard.” 
He could sense your hesitation. “Darling, relax. It’s just me.” He reached out for your hand and you laid it in his. He smiled at you before he decided he wanted more.
He propped himself up onto his knees and settled himself over you. He braced himself on the side of the tub while he grabbed your face, stroking your cheek with his thumb. He gave you a chaste kiss. He was unsure what a kiss would lead to at this moment, but he figured he’d rather find out.
He kissed you again, this time deeply. Lovingly. Your arm hooked over his shoulder and pulled him in closer. Your mouth opened slightly and you felt his tongue on your bottom lip. You opened your mouth wider to let him in. The kiss turned sloppy before you pulled away. You suspected that if you didn’t stop then one thing would lead to another, and you didn’t just want to fulfill some expectation. You didn’t want it to go that way. You loved it when Astarion was passionate, but you didn’t always want that type of intimacy. And if he was honest with himself, neither did he. 
He cleared his throat as he started moving toward his side of the tub. The air was thick with steam and apprehension. “Wait,” you said, speaking before you were ready to. He froze. 
“Can we try something different?”
“Oh, darling, I like the sound of that.” His all too familiar sultry tone took over. 
“Come here.” You matched his energy.
“What for?” Thrown off by your command, he became cautious, unsure what he was in for. 
“Just trust me.” Trust. It was something he had been working on. This was one of those moments where he thought he could practice it. He looked at you, quizzically. 
“Alright, fine.” He got back up as if to kiss you but you put your hand on his chest. 
“No, face away from me and come close.” You smiled at him and his eyebrows furrowed. He sat back down and moved towards you until his back was against your chest. You wrapped your arms around him and he let out an almost comical sigh of relief. 
“This is… nice.” 
You held him as close as you could to your own body. You could feel the scars on his back. You thought about all that Astarion had told you and your mind turned to your own past. He interlaced his fingers with yours under the water. You squeezed his hand as the thoughts started to take over. He squeezed your hand. Focusing on his presence brought you back. 
His voice soothed you, “I like this,” he laid his head on your shoulder to face you, “I like us.”
“I like us, too.” You kissed his forehead. He hummed contently and kissed your cheek.
His head laid on your shoulder and you saw the bite marks on his neck. You felt so protective of him. So in love with him. You wanted to shield him from the world. You closed your eyes tight, promising to yourself, and him, that one day you could both live in peace. But until then, you were safe and he was in your arms til the water turned cold. 
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greynatomy · 5 months
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christmas miracle
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alexia putellas x reader
little christmas fic
———
The Barcelona team and staff are at the annua Christmas party before everyone leaves to their own families to celebrate. Mapi is with Ingrid, observing her best friend from across the room.
“What are you thinking?” Ingrid asks skeptically, seeing a look on her girlfriend’s face.
“Nothing?” Mapi shrugs, playing off innocently.
“Don’t meddle.”
“I haven’t even done anything.” She raises both of her hands, backing away from her girlfriend.
Ingrid observes her girlfriend, seeing her going up to all of their teammates. Mapi eventually finds herself with you, where you were conversing with Lucy and Aitana.
“Hey, Y/N!”
“Mapi! How are you?”
“Good, good.” She wraps an arm around your shoulder, leading you somewhere - not that you have a clue - silently telling Lucy and Tana to follow. She stops bear the corner, close to the bar.
Moments later, the team gradually starts coming up to where you stood, each of them giving you a kiss on the cheek. You happily accept, even giving them one in return. You were, however, very confused. You knew Spanish people were very affectionate, but didn’t know what made them all come up to you now.
Mapi, eventually, did leave your side, going to where her best friend sat. She didn’t miss the look on her face and the way she was gripping the glass.
“If you squeeze any harder that glass is going to break.”
“Sorry.”
“What’s got you worked up.”
“Nothing.”
Mapi places her face right next to Alexia’s, seeing what she was looking at.
“Ooh. You’re jealous.”
“No, I’m not.” Mapi stays silent. “I mean, why is everyone kissing her. Everyone is kissing her.”
“Not everyone.” Alexia looks at her quizzically. “You haven’t kissed her.”
“Wh-why would I kiss her.”
“Oh, come on! You’ve had this massive crush on her since she was hired a year ago.”
“What? Psh, no I don’t.”
“Everyone knows! And we’re just waiting for La Reina to finally make her move.”
“Shut up.”
An hour passed, Alexia hadn’t moved from her chair, getting even more worked up the more people went up to kiss you - not on the lips. The night was ending, Mapi thought all hope is lost as she saw Alexia step out onto the balcony by herself, until she saw your figure follow her out.
“Mind if I join you?”
Alexia looks to her left to see you standing there. She gives you a light nod, making you take cautious steps, stopping right next to her.
“You know.” You began. “Out of all the people that came up to me, you were the only one who didn’t.”
“So many already came up to you.” She shrugs her shoulders, defeated.
“But you were the only one I was waiting for.”
“Huh?”
“Look up.”
Alexia looks up. Over her head, she sees a mistletoe, held up by you. She turns her head to face you, wearing a cheeky smirk on your face.
Stepping closer to you, “May I?”
“You better.”
She brings a hand up to cup your face, pulling you in. Her lips were warm and soft. My mouth parted slightly, allowing her tongue to slip inside. You drop the mistletoe on the floor, wrapping your arms around her neck, hers holding you by your waist.
The sounds of cheering and whistling makes us pull away to see our friends watching us by the window.
“Oh my god.” You whisper, hiding your face in the crook of Alexia’s neck. She lets out a giggle, placing a hand on the back of your head, swaying you side to side.
“It’s a Christmas miracle!” Mapi cheers, happy for her best friend.
You see Alexia looking at you like you hung all the stars in the sky.
“It is a Christmas miracle isn’t it?” You ask, looking up at her, your chin resting on her chest.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s a miracle that you finally made a move.”
“Oh, shut up.”
And shut up you did, her lips on your once again.
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thatfandomslut · 3 months
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A Really Good Friend
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Regina George x Reader
Word Count: 1.6k
Trigger Warnings: this story doesn't include Cady so that it the trigger warning :sob:
Request:
basically a fic where fem!reader replaces cady and it goes a bit differently? a different past, but was still homeschooled and transfered. janis and damian could still be involved, but the reader has no incentive to do any revenge on regina because she doesn't get a crush on aaron. and like, y'know, regina isn't that bad. she's so protective of reader and is SUCH a great friend. regina makes the reader feel so special. hehe
A/N: I did not know how to write this, so please be kind.
Mean Girls requests are open.
"Don't look at them," Damian attempted to shield (Y/n)'s eyes, but she gently removed his hands out of curiosity. "They call those three the Plastics. The girl with the big hair, that's Gretchen Wieners. Her hair is so big because it's full of secrets. Then, you have Karen Shetty, I once saw her put a 'D' in the word orange." Damian hissed as a blonde girl came in after them. She was obviously the leader of whatever the group was. When she flipped her hair over her shoulder, everyone was still in awe.
Janis grumbled as she crossed her arms with narrowed eyes. "Evil takes human form in Regina George." She commented, letting her know who the last girl was. (Y/n) couldn't get over how stunning she was. "She's the Queen Bee, she always wins Spring Fling Queen. You need to be careful around her, (Y/n)." Janis warned, trying to stop the brainwashing before (Y/n) was too far in. But it seemed like she was too far in and hypnotized until she almost dropped her tray onto the floor because she almost ran into someone.
"Why don't I know you?" A voice called, causing (Y/n) to look up from her lunch tray, and away from Janis and Damian. She made eye contact with a blonde who was in a leather jacket. It was obvious that she had status at North Shore High by the fearful stares of their classmates. That's why (Y/n) hoped that when she looked around, there was a different new student that the girl was talking to. "No, no… I'm talking to you. Don't be shy, come over here."
(Y/n) looked over to Janis who shook her head, but (Y/n) felt she had no way of getting out of this. Approaching the table with an awkward smile as she set down her tray. "Why haven't I seen you before?" Regina turned her head quizzically. The honey blonde next to her leaned closer as she examined the situation, wanting to hear what (Y/n) would respond with. However, on the other side of her was a girl with wavy black hair and a curious look in her eyes despite not having a thought behind them.
"I'm new here," (Y/n) said softly, fidgeting with her hand. Regina's brows rose, and it was obvious she was vying for more information. She wanted to know more about (Y/n), but she wasn't sure if that was a good thing. Not when her only other friends were so against the idea of her coming over. She didn't want to upset Janis or Damian, nor did she want to upset these other girls. "Well, I'm not new to North Shore. I've just been homeschooled my whole life before now. I just finally convinced my mom to let me come to school here."
Regina nodded with a small smirk on her lips as she looked at the other girls behind her. "Give us just a moment," Regina said before whispering to them. This left (Y/n) standing there, not knowing if she should walk away and give them space or if she should just stand there. "Right, so we never really do this, but how'd you like to have lunch with us all week." Before (Y/n) could reject their offer, Regina held up her hand. "There's no need for you to thank us, there's no need to even speak. You're new and you don't know things, you need good friends who can tell you what to think. We'll see you here same time tomorrow." She said, know now that (Y/n) couldn't reject her.
"On Wednesdays, we wear pink!" The girl with long wavy hair said, grinning up at (Y/n) as Regina nodded. (Y/n) was then excused and she made her way over to Janis and Damian with her lunch tray. She didn't know if they would be upset with her or not when she sat down. Instead, they looked like they wanted to know exactly what happened over at the table she was at. This made her feel a little more comfortable to know they weren't mad at her.
(Y/n) then just gave them a polite smile. "They want me to eat lunch with them for a week." (Y/n) said softly, starting to eat the sandwich on her tray. Janis grinned at this, nudging Damian who looked surprised. "I already said I'd join you guys though, so I guess I'll have to reject their invitation." (Y/n) shrugged. She was a loyal person, and she didn't want to just drop Janis and Damian for the Plastics.
"No, no, no," Janis said, waving her hands with a jubilant look on her face. "That's the tits, and I think you should do it. You should take the offer, and then you should come to us with every little stupid thing that they say."
(Y/n)'s nose crinkled in thought as she looked over at them. "I'm not sure I can spy on them, but if you really want me to take up the offer… Do either of you have a pink shirt?" She asked, hoping that one of them did since she didn't. Damian nodded before letting her know that he had her back. "Great, thank you. I'm going to head to class. Thanks for being so cool on me not wanting to spy on them. You're both great friends." (Y/n) said as she separated from them in order to make it to her class.
The next day, Gretchen sat in front of (Y/n), letting her know all of the rules that they must follow if they want to remain at the Plastics table. "You can't wear a tank top two days in a row, and you can only wear a ponytail once a week. Oh, and we can only wear sweats and track pants on Fridays. If you break any of these rules, you can't sit with us. And, I mean, none of us can sit here if we break the rules. Like, if I was wearing sweatpants today, I might have to sit over there with the art freaks." Gretchen pointed to Damian catching some food that Janis threw over to him. The action caused (Y/n) to chuckle, but she quickly covered it.
"That sounds fair," she confirmed with a smile as she began to eat her lunch. She was surprised to see how kind the girls were. She then began to wonder what they did to make Janis hate them so much. More specifically, she hated Regina.
Regina hummed as she tried to process the percentage of sugar in her Yoghurt before looking over to (Y/n) with a smile. "After school, we're taking you shopping. Then, we're going to hang out at my place. Meet us at my Jeep right after the bell." She said, before getting up to get cheese fries instead. She was pleased to see Regina acting so kind to her, and she was grateful for her allowance since she had been saving for years, and now she might be able to use it. She was beginning to feel lucky at how great of a friend Regina George was.
"So, any cute boys?" Gretchen questioned as Regina left. She was a bit nosy, but her heart was always in the right place. That was what (Y/n) began to notice about her. Shaking her head, (Y/n) shrugged. She had only been there for a day, and the only person she felt attracted to was Regina, who wasn't a boy. "That's too bad. If you do end up having a crush on someone, please tell me. I'm great at keeping secrets, so it'll just be between you and me."
(Y/n) nodded, not sure how true Gretchen was about that last part. However, she felt it was better to agree than disagree with her. Karen braided her hair during lunch, adding butterfly clips, and (Y/n) couldn't see how anyone could hate any of these girls at this table. "Don't keep us waiting later, pretty girl," Regina flirted with a wink causing (Y/n) to leave with pink cheeks and no words. She couldn't understand how the world could be so right after years of being stuck at home because her mother was very fearful. However, she was having the time of her life at North Shore.
After school, Regina took the Plastics shopping and (Y/n) was beginning to feel special thanks to Regina. "Let's give you a makeover," Regina announced before the girls began to give her a makeover. The girls were having a blast until Gretchen and Karen had to head home and it was just Regina and (Y/n) by themselves. "You can stay here tonight if you want." Regina offered when she noticed the time. They had been talking into the late hours of eleven o'clock at night.
"My mom would kill me, but thank you for today." (Y/n) said softly. She called her mother to pick her up and she had ten minutes extra with the Queen Bee. "Thank you for inviting me to your table. You're a really good friend, Regina."
Regina smiled gently squeezing (Y/n)'s hand. She could be a good friend, it just depended on who it was and her mood. She was happy that (Y/n) felt that way about her. "See you later, loser," she said softly. "Maybe we can spend more time just us." (Y/n) nodded in agreement when she heard her mother honk from outside. Waving softly, she made her way outside, feeling like she had just made more than just a really good friend.
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hanniejji · 2 years
Text
date me, please. oh, we're already dating?
[ kaedehara kazuha x s/o ]
summary: drunk and utterly wasted is kaedehara kazuha. but he's also drunk in love. it's a good thing you are too.
notes: was typing the phoenix fic but i have to get this out of the way so I DON'T KEEP GETTING DISTRACTED GOD DAMN IT KAZUHA | m.list
words: 928 | warnings: alcohol ofc
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you're about to punch venti into a pulp.
by the time your group had left the tavern, it was already dark and most of the city folk were already tucked inside their home, with the exception of a few knights and drunkards outside who greeted you a good night… and a concerned look at the boy hanging over your shoulders.
"i want… a ukulele!" he gushed, giggling uncontrollably, "did you see,"—he cuts himself with a giggle—"that one bard with a small… a veeeery small! oh it was a tiny little thing! with strings!"
"yes, i saw love. i was there with you."
the walk to the inn was quiet, only his occasional rambles of traveling, the things the wind tells him, and the random giggles that he does.
archons, he's adorable.
it didn't take long before you reached the inn, lugging kazuha over your shoulder across the stairs and to your room. the man simply fell into the bed like a sack of potatoes, plopping on the soft sheets with his whole weight. yet his face sports a dreamy smile—his eyes are still closed and he resumes his faint whispers of his dreams.
"you better be glad i love you enough to deal with this."
with slacking limbs and weary drowsy eyes from exhaustion—not to mention it's been a long day of traveling for the two of you, with the addition of xinyan—you quickly went around the room to clean up, taking a damp towel and a glass of water with you to the bedside table, taking a seat besides a giggling mess of a kazuha.
"love, are you asleep?"
he muttered something in response, eyes still shut and a loopy smile.
despite the extra weight on your way to the inn, you can't deny that the sight of kazuha being vulnerable and loose—albeit with the influence of alcohol—does not make you feel a little at ease. he doesn't make it look obvious, but kazuha had always been on the guard for something. perhaps it had been a natural thing for him to be cautious and careful even from his younger days, but it certainly makes you happy to see him having his moments to let his guard down, even for a while.
you just hope it won't always be from the influence of alcohol, he can barely handle a few drinks.
you press the damp towel on his forehead, wiping down around his face. your other hand thread through his hair, combing and taking it out from its usual ponytail.
at your concentration and inner state of mind, you failed to notice how his half-lidded and woozy eyes opened to stare at you. sluggish, but desperate to touch you in some way, he wraps his hand weakly around your wrist.
"love?" you glance down at him quizzically.
"am i your 'love'?"
"huh?"
he squinted his eyes right back at you, lips tilted to a pout.
"you called someone 'love'. am i not your 'love'? do you call someone else your 'love'?"
you couldn't stop yourself from huffing, amused. however, this only made him frown, an uncharacteristic whine coming from him and his hand that was holding your wrist flails in a mini tantrum.
"whyyy? why, why, why? why not meeee? are we not lovers?"
"kazu—"
"noooo," he whines, taking your hand to place sloppy kisses on your knuckles, "you can't call me by that name! date me right now! call me love! i love yooou, it's not fair!"
you just hoped that no one would complain about the loud laughing fit you made at this time of the night, but can they really blame you? here he is, drunk and being the most adorable idiot there is. who are you to not find this endearing?
"love—" you grin at the satisfied happy hum he made at the pet name, "—we're already dating."
his smile fell to a shock look, gasping audibly and his eyes lighting up, putting the moon and the lamp beside you to shame.
he looks very much awake—and breathtakingly handsome—despite being wasted.
"w-we are?"
ah, he looks as ecstatic as he did when you first reciprocate his feelings.
"yes, we are, love."
as if to accentuate your words, you litter kisses all over his face, grinning at the chimes of delighted giggles and slight upward tilt of his head. his face is practically asking for more kisses. flustered and pink in the cheeks, yet his drunken state seems to diminish his sense of bashfulness.
"i love you," he sang.
"i love you too, love."
he looks so content right now. his rosy cheeks lifted into a precious smile that only tempts you to kiss them—which you did, as you should—and the happy little giggles that he makes. you place another kiss on his nose.
"get some rest, love. we have a big day ahead of us tomorrow."
he doesn't resist this time—probably because he got his dose of affection from you—easing into a curled position on the bed, your hand is still in his. the smile on his face softens, eyes shutting and his voice more sluggish.
"can you say it again?"
"which one, hm?
"say… say you love me again."
almost immediately, you leaned close to his ear, kissing just above his ear.
"i love you, kazuha."
"aga… again?" he drowsily asked once more, slipping into a peaceful sleep.
"i love you, kaedehara kazuha."
and i'd repeat it however many times you want me to.
"i love you too~"
maybe you won't beat venti into a pulp. for now, at least.
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sleepyconfusedpotato · 6 months
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Run Free
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art by me!
Price, Gaz, and Ghost visits the MacTavish Estate baring the news.
Word Count: 2.1k words Warning: Major character death, angst and comfort. Note : I wrote this fic a few days after I finished the campaign. I've always thought it weird why the 141 boys had Soap's ashes when I've always seen Soap as someone with a family and a had good relationship with them, especially since it's canon that Soap's cousin brought him to the SAS base several times as a kid. Here's my interpretation of that fact, on how Soap's urn ended up with the boys.
Price, Gaz, and Ghost wore their dress uniforms from head to toe, finding themselves in front of the MacTavish Estate in Glasgow. It was… big, to say the least. Soap’s family was known not only because a number of people from the family are serving in the British Royal Armed Forces, but also the fact that they are 7th generation furniture company - MacTavish Furnitures. Lots of members of the family are veterans turned businessmen, carpenters, or woodworkers. It is a common cycle of life for them.
As Ghost and Gaz stood, Price climbed the stairs and wore his beige beret, breathing deeply through his nose before letting the air out to prepare himself, lifting his hand to knock on the wooden door. The captain heard faint noises of multiple footsteps from multiple people and some voices of heavy Scottish accent from inside the house. He waited for a moment, until the door finally opened, but he found no one in front of him. 
“Who are ya?”
A little voice spoke from under him, prompting Price to look down. He found a little girl with blonde hair no taller than his knees. She’s absolutely drenched from head to toe in a blue swimming attire and had to bend her neck so high to see him. He bent down to his knees to match her height, before saying,
“Hello. I’m… My name is John.” 
“John? Like Uncle Johnny?” Her little voice said, face gleaming with happiness at the name.
“Yes. Like Uncle Johnny.” Price smiled, chuckling lightly. The girl grinned at his smiling face. “May I see your dad? Or mum?”
“Phoebe MacTavish! Get your wee feet here before I pick your legs off of that floo–! Oh, Hello there.” A new voice came from in front of him, revealing herself to be an old woman with dark brown hair, though with white strands and the same quizzical brow that reminded Price of Soap. She looked strong, nonetheless, wearing a green shirt and knitted vest with a towel hanging from one of her shoulders, obviously to dry the little girl after a session of swimming in their estate’s pool. 
Price stood back up, greeting the lady. “Mrs. MacTavish.” 
The old woman looked at his attire up and down, and Price swore that he saw the gears rotating inside her mind. She looked down at the girl and gave her the white towel, “Phoebe. Go inside and dry yourself. Find your Da, Aunt Rachel, and Uncle Hugh, too. Tell them to meet me at the front door, yeah?” The little girl nodded and ran inside, disappearing into the house as Price heard a faint yelling from the same child, calling for the stated family members. 
Now, the lady in front of him walked closer to the doorway, face to face with him. She’s undoubtedly no taller than 5’7”, a height that might have been receding as time went by, but you could spot a proud MacTavish wherever you see one. Price offered his hand for a handshake as she accepted. “Captain John Price from the 22 SAS Regiment.” 
“Joan MacTavish.” She replied. Price noticed the name as the name on Soap’s file as his guardian, with the relation being marked with ‘Aunt’. “What brings you here, Captain?” Her face looked neutral like it wasn’t the first time a soldier with a full dress uniform knocked on this wooden door. 
Just before Price could say what he wanted to say, a deep voice called to her. “Mum?” One woman and two men with a frame similar to him showed up from inside the house. One man was around Ghost’s age, one was around his age, while the woman in a bun looked older than him, though looking very vibrant and professional. All of them had the same thick eyebrows – Family traits, he supposed – and clearly looked like honourable but firm Scottish people. Upon seeing Price, though, their faces changed from confusion to realization. 
Price remembered that Soap was not the first MacTavish in the SAS. In fact, there was another member of the family, Oliver MacTavish, who died in the line of duty a decade ago. Price remembered the way Soap had told the story of Ollie, his cousin, bringing his little arse to the SAS base  - however unpermitted it was – and how Price had busted Soap multiple times for applying with a fake age. 
“Rachel MacTavish.” The eldest one spoke.
“Hugh MacTavish.” The elder man said, followed by the younger.
“Scott MacTavish. That was my daughter, Phobe.” They all shook hands with Price. 
He repeated his greeting, before Rachel started,
“I've seen the likes of you before. I recognize that beret even from a mile away." She said firmly. "Out with it."
The captain's breath hitched as he cleared his throat, preparing himself to deliver the news. And so, he began.
"On November 21st, our target had placed an active bomb inside the underwater tunnel that connects the UK and France. During our attempt to defuse the bomb, the target sneaked from behind our line of sight…"
The whole family's face changed, Joan's eyes looked glassy with tears seeming like she knew of the incoming words.
"And I regret to inform you… that Sergeant John MacTavish has died in the line of duty."
Ghost, without his mask and black face paint around his eyes, and Gaz with their dress uniforms and beret could only stand from the base of the stairs, watching and hearing as Joan's cry of anguish tear through the morning sky. 
"Oh Lord. Johnny. Johnny. My baby, Johnny." Joan repeated his name like a chanting to the sky. "Why must You take him so soon? Why must he join Ollie so soon?"
The whole family hugged their mother as she wailed, her knees looked like it was giving up. Gaz gritted his teeth to strengthen himself, not wanting to break down to cry himself. 
As the family cried, Price could only stand still, letting the news sink in for the family. His job as the leader of the team was done, at that point. He delivered the news to his family. 
"The bomb…Did he defuse it?" Hugh questioned in the middle of his sobs. 
"He–" Price swallowed, remembering the way Makarov had killed him. "We were both defusing the bomb, John guiding me along the way as he was the demolition expert."
"He protected me, Sir. Our target was about to shoot me, before John stopped him - and got killed instead. The target ran away, but me and Sergeant Garrick managed to defuse the bomb thanks to his prior guidance, saving thousands of lives underneath the 30-mile underwater tunnel." Price answered as Rachel looked up at his face, anger and denial filling her in an instant. 
She raised her hand in such a way that Price knew that she was about to slap him. Price still opened his eyes, fully welcoming the slap before her hand stopped. 
Rachel bit her lips so hard that it might bleed, lowering her arm.
"...Why does it have to be Johnny? Why do you get to live and he doesn't?" She barely whispered in a shaky voice, going back to wiping her face again. “Why Johnny…?”
And Price asked that question every single hour ever since his death. 
Why Soap, and not him?
The MacTavishes requested for Soap's body to be sent to Scotland, where they held a memorial at the MacTavish estate to which they promptly honoured. The number of family members participating was not that many, considering only the immediate family attended. Price, Soap, and Ghost joined them, and even escorted the family as they travelled to the crematorium.
After the whole procession finished – that took the entire day – the family finally had possession of the urn containing Soap's ashes, and they invited the three back to the estate, where they now sit inside the guest room and tea in front of them with Joan and Rachel, his urn placed on a table beside Joan.
That was the day they learned that Soap was actually the son of Joan's late husband's younger sister. Soap's mother – her sister-in-law, died when she birthed Soap, while Soap's father died during an accident in a factory before his own birth. 
Soap had been raised by his uncle's family since his infancy, growing up in the MacTavish house as a strong and firm Scott under the wing of the eldest brother, Oliver. 
"He's always wanted to be like Ollie, that wee kid," Rachel told them after holding a photo album containing photos of Soap when he was a baby in his late uncle's arms, a photo of him and his older cousins playing with mud, photos of his graduations from school, and photos of him passing the test to be a part of SAS along with his cousin, Oliver. "Said he didn't want to go to school. Just visit the army base every day. It's what he dreamed of."
Ghost, still in his dress uniform, felt the most vulnerable in that room - Without his mask, in front of Johnny's family. He also had been in agony for the past day, because he'd failed to cover Johnny's back. He had one job at that time, and he failed, catastrophically. He only sat there with his hands joined in his lap, not daring to look at the family in the eyes. 
"We're very thankful for John's service with us. He was the best there is." Gaz spoke, "John's memory will live with us."
"Thank you, Sergeant Garrick." Joan smiled as she looked up. "I heard you share the same quarters with him in the barracks. I hope he wasn't too much of a naughty boy."
The sergeant chuckled lightly at that, "Well. Soap wasn't someone who could stay away from mischief too long, but I assure you that he's an absolute joy and inspiration to be around." Hearing Joan's laughter cured a little part in Gaz, as the only thing he'd heard from her was the sound of her cry. He could at least pride himself in knowing that he could share Soap's merry nature.
As they share memories, Price finished his tea before he stood up from the sofa, followed by the other two. "Well. We must take our leave, Ma'am. Thank you for the tea."
"Anytime." Joan spoke as the soldiers started to leave the sofa, heading towards the main room and front door. 
"Which one of ya’s is ‘LT’?"
Rachel’s voice stopped the men in their tracks, particularly Ghost’s. All three men turned around, finding the woman holding Soap’s urn in her hands. Price saw how Ghost's face turned to that of a deer in a spotlight, so he put his hand behind Ghost’s back to lightly push him towards Rachel, but Ghost’s hesitancy was apparent in the way he slowly walked. 
“...That would be me, Ma’am.” Ghost’s deep voice rumbled softly as he looked down to Rachel’s height. The lady herself observed him up and down with a negative face that she could convince him that he was standing there naked. 
“Yer tryin’ so hard to make yourself look small for such a big man. It’s almost dreading.” She started, her hips shifting. “I’ve been the CEO of MacTavish Furnitures since my da’ passed away and Ollie decided to go to the army, and I read people like a book. For someone whom Johnny admired the most – and repeatedly spoke about – you don’t look like the LT I heard from him.” Ghost was starstruck at the statement. Soap, talking about him to his family? “I expected you to be cocky and exude pride in your steps, but all I’m seein’ is just a pathetic, sad bloke.” 
Ghost stood still at those comments. No one practically had ever roasted him this badly in front of his teammates. He wondered if he showed up in his other attire, she’d dare to say all this. But then again, if someone got to do it, he was glad that it came from an honourable woman of the MacTavish bloodline. 
What caught him off guard was her hands stretching towards him, holding Soap’s urn in front of his chest. Ghost looked down at the metal container, looking confused as he looked up again to face Rachel. He thought the MacTavishes were going to hold on to Soap’s urn, and they get to keep Soap’s dog tags. However, clearly, the current head of the family had other wishes.
“Take Johnny with ya. Being trapped inside this urn for eternity in this old house would be the last thing he wanted.” The woman started with a shaky voice, her eyes starting to brim with tears again. Seeing Soap’s character, Ghost could understand that completely. 
“He’s… the proudest he could ever be when he’s with ya’s." Rachel continued. 
"So I ask you, as our brother’s comrades, to hold on to Johnny – and free him.” 
Ghost’s eyes opened wide in surprise, still couldn’t fathom how fondly Soap must've talked about his teammates, especially him, to his family that they’d give him his ashes. Ghost lifted his hands to carefully receive the urn. 
After breathing deeply, Ghost stood straight, holding Soap firmly. 
“We will, Ma’am.”
The three of them walked towards the car parked just outside the MacTavish estate with Ghost holding Soap’s urn in his hands. They all took off their berets and entered the car, Price the designated driver, Gaz riding shotgun, while Ghost sat in the backseat. 
“So what do we do with him, Sir?” Gaz rotated his body to look at Soap’s urn on Ghost’s hands, same as Price.
Ghost contemplated in his mind, staring at the metal urn, before speaking, “Where’s Johnny’s place of birth?” 
Price answered immediately as he’s the one who took care of Soap’s documents. “Isle of Skye.” 
“Soap said there’s a beautiful cliff where he and his cousins used to go to play. Endless sea where the eyes could see.” Gaz added.
“Then that’s where we’re goin’.” Ghost spoke with finality. “And then we’ll let Johnny go.”
Price and Gaz nodded to each other. "Alright, Soap. Let's get you home." The captain started the car and stepped on the gas, beginning their journey towards the Isle of Skye.
---
I'm not okay. Thank you for reading! (T_T) reblogs and comments of your thoughts are much appreciated!
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starsinthesky5 · 1 month
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wanna get out of here? | joe burrow x reader
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description: an impromptu getaway is exactly what you and joe needed
a/n: ahhh my second fic!! all the love on my first one gave me the motivation to go and write another one :) i hope you all like this one!
warnings: smut (hope it’s not too bad since it’s my first time writing it LOL), language
word count: 6 k
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Wednesday 
The sounds of hammering rain and thunder were all you could focus on as you were sitting on the couch, curled up in a blanket trying to finish an overly complex project for work. You had been trying to finish the final section for the past week but you simply could not get rid of the restless feeling that had engulfed you over the past few days. 
Joe, on the other hand, was sitting right next to you. He was staring at the TV which had on some random rerun episode of The Office. Normally, he’d be laughing along to the show no matter how many times he had seen the episode, but today he was quiet & agitated. He had been overwhelmed this past month with intense rehab for his wrist injury; on top of which he had his off-season workouts every day which had also been incredibly vigorous. He was mentally and physically burnt out and needed something to take his mind off of everything. He noticed that you also had been swamped with work which caused you to be on edge the whole week, preventing you two from having any real 1 on 1 time like you usually do, and he wasn’t having it. 
You were typing away on your computer, another idea that would probably lead to nothing, before you heard the TV turn off. 
You turned your head to Joe and saw his blank face. “Everything Okay?” you questioned while reaching for his hand. 
“Wanna get out of here?” he asked while interlocking your hands, still looking expressionless. 
“Joey there is literally a monsoon happening outside right now,” you deadpanned as you squeezed his hand. 
“Not out there. I mean do you wanna get out of Ohio?”.
“Who are you and what have you done with my fiancee,” you laughed. 
“What?” he asked, looking quizzical as if he had no idea why you said that.
“You, the same man that never leaves his house unless it’s business or football related. And sometimes due to a forced social activity, or occasionally to have fun, wants to leave Ohio? You’re practically a turtle that stays in its shell all day,” you say before going back to your work project. 
Joe is slightly taken aback by what you said. Deep down he knows you aren’t wrong, he doesn’t go out very often, which made what he said next even more necessary. 
“Let’s go to the Bahamas this weekend. I can call up Ted and get a jet here and we can leave Friday morning. I’m thinking we stay at a lowkey house on a private beach for maybe 4 days,” he says.
You think he’s just messing with you but when you look over at him, he looks serious. 
“Where is this coming from?” you say with worry in your voice. In the 5 years, you and Joe have been together, he’d never sprung an idea of a vacation on you by himself, it was always mutual. And you’d never left the States before either. You close your computer and turn to face him. 
“I’m just so fucking tired,” he says with a sigh. “These past few weeks have been really intense and I just need a break.” 
Your face drops as he continues. He’d been under so much pressure lately with OTA’s slowly approaching and training amping up; plus all the background noise. He’d start throwing in the next month or so and deep down he was nervous. He didn’t know how it was going to go and if all this rehab was even worth it if he was never going to be able to get back to where he was. 
“And you’ve been stressed out all week because of work and it feels like we haven’t had just ‘us’ time,” he adds. 
Joe was right. He’d be gone all day with either rehab or workouts and the only time you two would get together would be dinner. And by dinner, you’d be too exhausted to do anything but eat and rush off to bed. 
You spend a few moments contemplating his offer. It would be nice to get away for a few days and you both needed the change of environment badly. 
“Okay, let’s do it," you say with a smile as you pull him in for a hug. 
“But just so you know, since we’d be leaving in 2 days, I’m going to be an absolute nightmare when it comes to packing,” you say before planting a kiss on his cheek. 
“Oh, I'm well aware. You only get 2 days to stress about packing and not a whole week like usual,” he laughs. 
Thursday Evening 
You both spent the majority of the day planning your impromptu vacation. You found the perfect beach house on the other side of Nassau, away from the main part of the island. It was hidden by palm trees and had a private beach which made it easy to unwind without any prying eyes. You would spend the week there and pick out a few activities nearby to occupy your time. You also chose a few places to eat although you both decided to cook at home for the majority of your stay. 
Currently, you were sitting on your closet floor attempting to pack your suitcase but were majorly failing. Packing was never your strong suit, especially if you had to pack the day before a trip. The closet looked like a war zone, things were everywhere. 
“This is the wrong time to not be able to find anything,” you say to yourself while getting up once again to hunt for missing items. 
Joe walked into the closet and saw you frantically pacing back and forth looking for something. 
“Babe, are you Okay?” He asked while sitting down on the stool. 
“Have you seen my new white bikini? Or my sunglasses? Or my tank tops?” You asked, aggravated that you couldn’t find your stuff.
“I literally cannot find anything,” You added before giving Joe a look. He knew that look all too well, you were 1 misplaced item away from having a full breakdown. 
He got up from the stool and walked over to where you were, put his hands on your shoulders, and said “Y/N you could wear a potato sack and still look amazing. Stop stressing about it, this vacation is supposed to get rid of the stress. Not add onto it,”
You let out a deep breath and say “You’re right. It’s just us anyway. I’ll just pack some nice dresses and stuff whatever in the suitcase,” 
“The fewer clothes the better,” Joe smirks and says before leaning in and planting a kiss on your lips. 
“You’re insatiable,” you say against his lips. 
After you finish packing your suitcase, you get ready for bed since you have a fairly early flight. It took Joe about 15 minutes to pack his things, which came as no surprise since he is the biggest outfit repeater you know. You’re just about ready to doze off before you feel Joe’s hand creep up your leg and squeeze your thigh.
“Mmm Joe not right now,” you say half asleeply. “Go to bed,”
“Not that,” he states. “I can’t fall asleep,” he mumbles. 
You let out a sigh before turning to face him. No way you’re getting any sleep now. “What’s wrong,” you say as you move his messy curls out of his eyes. 
“I don’t know, I just can’t fall asleep,” he says. 
You knew Joe too well to know when something was bothering him. His confession earlier was only the tip of the iceberg. Something was bugging him and you needed him to talk to you.
“What’s going on in that brain of yours,” you say as you play with his curls. 
He stayed silent for a few heartbeats, not knowing if he should unload his heavy thoughts on you right before a vacation. But he knew that it was just you. You’d always listen to whatever he had to say, no matter the time or place. 
“Just everything.” He says, meeting your eyes. “Rehab has been going great and training has been too, and I should be happy about that but I just can’t get rid of that feeling,”
“What feeling?” You question.
“Feeling like I won’t be good enough. I know what people are saying; overpaid, overrated, no rings, injury-prone. And they aren’t wrong. I don’t have anything to back up why people think I’m a top 3 quarterback,” 
Your heart breaks as he continues to talk. The fact that Joe feels like he isn’t good enough is mind-boggling to you. He’s one of the best damn players you’ve ever seen and you wish you could do something to get rid of his doubts, but you knew that that was something he had to do on his own. 
“But you do have things to back it up. You had one of the greatest college football seasons ever. Winning the Natty and the Heisman was only the start of your legacy. You were drafted by an organization that was in desperate need of saving and you made an impact that not many could have done,” you say as you see a small smile on his face.
“You had a shitty rookie season with tearing basically everything in your knee, but you worked hard and came back better than ever fucking before. You went on and led the team to their first playoff win in 30 years and went to the fucking Super Bowl in your first full season,” you add.
“Yeah, you didn’t win. But you put the entire league on notice and showed them who the hell you are. And then you did it again next year even though you didn’t go all the way. This past year was rough and didn’t go the way anyone would have expected, but this is part of what makes you, you.” you say with a smile as he stares deeply into your eyes. 
“You thrive when there’s adversity. It makes you work harder for what you want and it always pays off one way or another. You always come out better and stronger. You are a great quarterback and are absolutely more than good enough. You’re going to have your moment soon, and I know it,” you conclude. 
Joe stares into your eyes for a few more heartbeats. You knew exactly what to say to bring him back down from whatever cloud he was stuck on and he was so thankful for you. 
“I love you,” he said as he pulled you onto his lap, pressing kisses all over your face. 
“I love you more, always,” you laugh as he kisses the hell out of you. 
You two spent the rest of the night in each other's embrace. You finally felt at peace once you heard Joe’s soft snores fill the room and finally got some sleep.
Friday
You both got up pretty early for your flight, taking a quick shower before packing the car and heading to the airport. After boarding the plane you both took off your shoes, pulled out your fav blanket, and got comfy. 
“Are you excited?” Joe beams.
“Excited is an understatement, Burrow,” you smirk. “Getting you out of Ohio might be my favorite part,”. 
“I’m so looking forward to getting some sun and swimming in that big pool,” he says, referring to the massive pool that’s a part of the house you rented.  
“It’s like you’re a whole new person,” you smile while leaning your head on his shoulder. He smiles and kisses your forehead before pulling out his laptop to turn on a movie. 
“Oooo what are we gonna watch?” you excitedly question. 
“I was thinking of either ‘Grown-Ups’ or ‘21 Jump Street’,” he responds.
“Hmm, let’s do Jump Street, it’s been a while since we watched that,” you say. 
You spent the rest of the flight watching movies, playing a few card games, and eventually taking a small nap before the plane landed. 
A few hours later
After the plane landed, you both drove to your house for the week and it was like something out of a fairytale. The house overlooked the beach and the crystal blue water. Lush green palm trees surrounding the house provided ample privacy, especially for the large open pool in the backyard. You two settled into the house before changing into your swimsuits for a nice afternoon dip in the pool. You did end up finding your new white bikini, which was perfect for the occasion. 
Joe walked out of the bathroom and saw you brushing your hair in the mirror. His eyes trailed down to your bare legs, up to your perfect ass, then to your toned stomach, and straight to your chest. You looked so sexy and he was in heaven. He walked up to you and hugged you from behind, his warmth causing you to melt into his arms. 
Your eyes met his in the mirror, “Like what you see, Burrow?” you teased. 
“Absolutely,” he chuckled as he swayed you two back and forth, pressing a kiss on the back of your shoulder while sliding his hand down to your ass. Joe was grinning like a love-struck fool as he watched you close your eyes and melt into his embrace. He was making you feel more relaxed than you’d ever been before and you both were loving it. 
You both ventured out to the pool and sat down on the pool chairs, hoping to get a quick tanning sesh in before a swim. A few minutes in, Joe found himself staring at the pool when he got an idea. 
“I’m gonna jump into the pool,” he casually said.
You quickly turned your head to him and said, “Are you crazy, the water will get everywhere,” You gasped.
“It’s just us though, nobody around to complain. Besides, I can’t do it in the pool at home since we spent way too much money on redoing the backyard. At least here there isn’t any vegetable garden at risk of being destroyed,” he smirked before quickly running back to the patio door and launching himself into the pool, not giving you a moment to lecture him. 
The water did in fact get everywhere but it was worth it when you saw Joe come up from the water. He shook his head back and forth to get the water out of his hair before he took his hand and attempted to slick it back. Your eyes navigated to his muscular chest which had stray water droplets sliding down his abdomen, back into the water. God, he looked so hot like this. 
“Like what you see, Burrow,” he teased as he noticed your expression. 
“Yes, in fact I do. Very much actually,” you say while getting off the chair. “And I’m not a ‘Burrow’ yet, still gotta wait a few months before that,” you say as you make your way into the pool. 
“Well, you’re practically already my wifey sooo,” he trails off before swimming over to the steps and helping you into the pool. 
You giggle at his words. He couldn’t wait to marry you and he never failed to make it known. 
You immediately latch onto him when you're in the pool. This was pretty normal for you both. You’d always use him as a floatie and make him do all the work while you just lay on him and relaxed. 
A few moments later you release yourself from his embrace, making him slightly confused at the sudden loss of contact. 
“Y/N come back,” he whines out.
“Someone’s clingy today,” you say while playfully rolling your eyes and swimming away from him. 
He stared at you for a few moments, a sad look on his face while you continued to swim around and away from him. You felt bad that you’d left him hanging but you were having too much fun teasing him. 
“Come and catch me shiesty,” you yelled. He hated it when you called him that. That nickname was only for football-related individuals to use and he thought it was a little cringe whenever you would use it. Not in a bad way, it’s just he preferred you calling him other names that football-related people can’t use. You knew how he felt about it but you also knew that this would for sure set him off. 
“Oh you’re done for,” he playfully growled before swimming after you. The pool was massive so you had just enough space to get away from him. 
You two were swimming circles around each other, occasionally splashing water into each other's faces in hopes of catching each other off guard. Your arms began to get tired of swimming around so you stopped by the ledge to take a breather while Joe was settled on the other side of the pool. 
Before you knew it, Joe had swum over to you and pulled you back into his arms. 
“Got you,” you whispered against your ear. 
“I guess you did,” you whispered back. 
“You look absolutely gorgeous by the way,” he said looking down into your eyes. “I love this bikini on you,” 
You blushed at his sweet comments. He never failed to tell you how pretty you looked. 
“Ya know, I look even better with it off,” you tease. 
Joe’s face dropped immediately when you said that. He’d been horny since he saw you in that bikini but had to compose himself since you both were looking forward to swimming in the pool. But now that you’d gotten your swim time in, nothing was stopping him. 
He slowly pressed you against the wall of the pool and kissed his way up your neck right up to your sweet spot. 
“Joe,” you moaned out. 
“What baby?” He asked, knowing exactly what you wanted.
“I need you,” you whined.
He looked at you momentarily before lifting you out of the pool and rushing you inside to the large bedroom. You let out a squeal as he pushed you back onto the bed. Joe climbed over you and situated his body in between your thighs, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss. You stayed kissing each other for a few minutes before you felt something hard poke at your stomach.
“Getting eager now aren’t we,” you tease. 
“Please, I’ve been waiting to get you in this bed since I saw you in this bikini,” he grinned. 
“Then I suggest you do something about it,” you replied.
Joe smiled and started to untie the strands of your bikini top before tossing it to the side. He kissed his way down to your perfect breasts, swirling his lips around your sensitive bud which caused you to let out a breathy moan.
“Joe,” you moaned out while shoving your hands in his hair. 
He spent a few moments sucking on your breasts before he continued his way down. He pressed a few sloppy kisses on your stomach before eventually making his way down to where you needed him the most. He slowly peeled off your bottoms which was driving you insane.
“Joe please,” you whined out.
“Patience is key, baby,” he teased. 
He threw your bottoms to the side as he made his way back up to your heat. “You’re so wet,” he says while ghosting his fingers over your folds.
“Joe I swear to god-,” You suddenly felt his warm tongue lapping at your folds which caused you to let out another moan, “Ohh Fuck”. 
He buried his warm tongue inside your core as he continued to eat you out like a starved man. He moved one of his hands up to cup your breast as the other was firmly on your thigh. Joe moved up and started to rhythmically suck on your clit which made you see stars; something which he made you see often. “Joey, fuck don’t stop,” you said breathlessly.
“You like that?” he chuckled against your core, sending vibrations throughout your body. Those 3 words always managed to get you more horny than you already were. "Yeah," you whispered.
He went back to lapping at your folds as he used his thumb to rub your clit. The combination of his mouth and fingers was sending you over the edge. You started to arch your back which caused you to lift your hips slightly but Joe pushed them back down as he continued to send you into a frenzy. You fisted your hands into his hair and started to pull on the loose curls which caused Joe to let out a soft moan against you. 
“Joe I’m so close,” you whispered as you pushed his head closer to your core. You felt a familiar warmth in your belly as you were moaning Joe’s name out (which was driving him insane). Joe thrusted one of his fingers into you, causing the imaginary rubber band in your lower belly to snap; feeling a familiar gush of liquid pool below you. You were overcome with a feeling of pure pleasure and satisfaction as he cleaned up your mess with his skillful mouth. He pressed delicate kisses on the insides of your thighs before moving back up and pushing his lips against yours again. 
“You’re so hot,” he said in between kisses. 
You felt a blush creep up on your face. “I’m flattered Mr. Burrow, but have you seen yourself”. 
“Shut up,” he chuckled before going back to kissing you. You stopped kissing him after a few moments and said “Joe, I need you inside me.”
“Your wish is my command babe,” he replied as he pulled down his swim trunks and threw them to the side. His cock was rock hard and the sight of it had you sizzling with anticipation. 
Your core was slick with your arousal which made it easy for him to push his dick into you. The tip slowly teasing your folds before he buries himself inside of you, causing you to let out a loud moan. You will never get tired of the feeling of him inside you. 
He started slowly thrusting into you which made you wrap your legs around him, wanting him deeper asap. 
“Joe, Fuck,” you moaned out. “Faster baby,”. 
He began snapping his hips against you, faster & harder than before. “God, you feel so good Y/N,” he moaned out. You brought him in for another kiss, this time quick, messy, and sloppy. He continued thrusting into you and you bucked your hips each time to match his movements. The sound of your arousal and skin-hitting skin filled the room as you two were caught up in the euphoria that was happening between you. 
Joe buried his face into your neck, sucking on your sweet spot, as your hands found themselves in his hair again. You were on Cloud 9 right now and it was all because of him.
“Joe, don’t stop. Shit, you feel too good,” you moaned. You felt him move deeper inside of you as he repeatedly hit your cervix. 
He continued to pound into you, making you feel like nothing else mattered but this moment. You both felt your arousal building up, begging to be released. 
“Fuck Y/N, I’m close,” he panted as he slowed down.
“Me too,” you whimpered. 
He picked up the pace of his thrusts once again, this time moving one of his hands down to your heat, toying with your clit. “Fuck,” you moaned out for what seemed like the hundredth time. “I’m gonna cum,” you whimpered. You felt your walls clench around him, signaling you were almost there. Joe felt you clench around him and pinched your clit which set off your orgasm. Your chest heaved up and down as you whimpered out his name while seeing stars again. He continued to thrust into you, chasing his pleasure. 
“Y/N,” Joe moaned out. You knew he was close by the way his thrusts started to become sporadic. 
“Come on baby,” you encouraged while pulling at his hair and kissing his neck. 
After a few rough thrusts, Joe let out a loud moan as you felt hot spurts of his cum fill you up. He collapsed on top of you as you both panted, needing a moment to recover after the workout you two just had. You moved one of your hands to his back, softly sliding it up and down to help him relax.
“I love you,” he softly said as he kissed your cheek, making you smile. 
“I love you more,” you whisper in his ear as he buries his face into your neck again. 
The next day 
The next morning was pretty chill for you both. You had breakfast at the local beachside cafe, stuffing your faces with delicious fresh fruit from the island before embarking on a pleasant morning walk on the beach. 
“This is nice,” Joe says as you both walk hand in hand alongside the water, a content look on his face.
You look up at him and smile, “Very nice,” you giggle. “Although, I don’t know how you’re not uncomfortable with walking on the beach in shoes,” you question while looking at your bare feet and then his shoes. 
“You never know when a crab might come up and pinch your toes,” he says with a straight face. 
“Righhhht,” you say while relishing the feeling of sand between your toes. 
“So, what should we do today? We pretty much have the whole day since we’re cooking at home tonight,” he says while squeezing your hand. 
“Hmmm,” you wonder for a second. “We could go out on one of the boats?” you carefully question while looking up at your fiancee. 
Joe did not like going on boats. He hated the idea of being out on the open water with no way of getting back to shore other than using the boat. He always questioned what you would do if the boat broke down or even started sinking. You always told him the sinking part was highly unlikely, but you blamed yourself for that worry because you’ve made him watch Titanic with you one too many times. He also didn’t like how you couldn’t see what was in the water. But lucky for you, the water in the Bahamas was crystal clear. 
He stayed silent for a few moments, making you a little sad since you wanted to experience something new with him. 
“Let’s do it,” he says while flashing you a smile. 
You looked up at him, a little surprised. “Really?” you beam. 
“Yes, now let’s go before I change my mind,” he says before stopping to pick you up. He doesn’t give you a moment to respond because he throws you over his shoulders causing you to let out a squeal. He leads you both back to the house so you can get freshened up.
You both got changed into your swimsuits before walking over to the docks and renting a boat for the day. You weren’t sure how you managed to get Joe to go on the boat, but you certainly were not complaining. 
The driver had taken the boat not too far from shore, which kept Joe’s mind at ease. You swam in the water for a little bit and enjoyed a few drinks. 
“Mmm, this like the best Mai Tai I’ve ever had,” you say while taking another sip. Joe was currently in the water in front of you, while you were seated on the steps of the boat, legs partially in the water. 
“Come in the water,” Joe says while splashing some water onto you. 
“Mmm, I think I’m good up here,” you tease while placing your drink to the side.
Joe swam closer to you and said “Nope.”
You were confused at what he meant but then you felt his wet hand wrap around your wrist. 
“Joe, don’t even think about it,” you playfully growled, knowing exactly what he was about to do. He didn’t listen and pulled you into the water, causing a big splash. You came back up to the surface with a frown.
“Someone’s mad,” Joe laughs. You swim over to him while he is fully anticipating an ass-kicking but is pleasantly surprised when you wrap your arms around his neck and kiss his cheek.
You laugh and say, “If this is mad, let me be mad more often,”.
A few hours pass and you both are sitting on the boat in the net seating area that was right above the water. Joe had put on one of his many bucket hats and shades and was laid flat against the net, soaking in the golden sun. You were applying another layer of sunscreen before noticing his chest turning red. You knew he’d be a pain in the ass if he got sunburnt so you took the bottle and moved closer to him. 
You squeezed out a dab of sunscreen and started applying it to his chest. He flinched at the sudden contact before realizing it was just you. 
You felt him flinch and laughed, “Daydreaming, Burrow?”. 
“Maybe,” he smiles while taking off his shades. He looks down and sees you applying sunscreen on him, “Oh, thanks,” he says while meeting your eyes. 
You let out a playful sigh and say, “What would you do without me,”.
“For real,” he says. “I’d be walking around like a tomato,” he laughs. 
After applying the rest of the sunscreen, you lay back against the net and Joe lifts one of his arms, motioning for you to curl up next to him. He rests his hand on the small of your back while you tangle your legs with his. 
You lay there briefly, soaking up the perfect scene before breaking the silence. “Are you enjoying this? I know boats aren’t really your thing and I hope I didn’t force you into this,” you softly say. 
“Of course, I’m enjoying this. I will admit, I was a little nervy when getting on but you’re here with me so I’m fine. Besides, If the boat breaks down at least we’d be stranded together,” he jokes. 
“I guess that’s true. Better than being stranded with a bunch of randos too. I’m glad we could get a boat just for the two of us,” you reply. 
“Yup. This isn’t as bad as I thought. I can see everything below us too so no risk of a random shark popping out,” he deadpans.
“Like that would actually happen,” you say while softly hitting his chest.
“You never know,” he says while shaking your shoulder in an attempt to scare you.
You spent a few minutes messing around with each other before the driver came out to tell you that you were heading back to the island. You both got up and sat on the bench, your back pressed into Joe’s chest and stared out into the open waters, taking in the view before it was time to go back. You were mindlessly sliding your hand along Joe’s leg while he had his arms around your waist, gently squeezing your soft skin. Everything about this moment was peaceful. Joe felt at ease for the first time in a long time and he had his favorite person to thank for it. 
Once you got back to the house, you both took a nice shared shower before starting your dinner prep. Before arriving at the house yesterday, you had stopped at the local market to pick up some groceries. 
“So, what are we making tonight,” Joe asked as he sat down on one of the barstools. 
“I was thinking of shrimp-avocado tostadas and some of that wine we picked up yesterday?”
“Sounds delicious,” he said while rubbing his belly.
You let Joe fry the tortillas and make the avocado mixture while you cooked the shrimp and assembled the tostadas. While you were assembling the dish, Joe found a few candles in the cabinet and got an idea. He went outside to the backyard and set up the candles on one of the patio tables, setting the scene for a nice sunset dinner. He picked out a few flowers from the front of the house and put them in a vase to use as a centerpiece. He then poured the wine into 2 glasses, setting one on each side. 
You had finished plating the tostadas and didn’t see Joe anywhere. “Joe? Where are you,” you yelled out.
“Out here! Bring the plates outside,” he yelled back. 
You were a little confused but went along with it. You walked outside with your dinner and saw Joe setting the table and your heart melted. 
“Joe, this is so romantic,” you cooed while putting the plates on the table. 
He gave you a warm smile before pulling out one of the chairs for you to sit in. You sat down as he settled into the chair across from you. You both devoured the tostadas while making small talk about your plans for tomorrow. After you finished eating, Joe took the plates and set them inside; he suggested you both finish up your wine on the daybed since you would get a comfier view of the sky. 
Later that night, per your suggestion, you and Joe were sitting in the bathtub surrounded by bubbles and a few candles. You felt so relaxed even though you’d only been here for 2 days, and it was all because of Joe.
“I’m glad we finally get to have ‘us’ time,” Joe says while rubbing your thigh under the water. “I missed just being able to sit with you and do nothing. This past month felt so repetitive, I feel like we barely saw each other,” 
“Me too. We needed this,” you said as you pressed yourself into his chest a little more. Your back was to his chest and both your legs were tangled under the water. This was your favorite position; the warmth radiating off of his body felt like a big hug. 
“Thank you for doing this by the way,” you add.
“Doing what?” He questioned.
“This trip. I needed it more than I thought I did. Getting away from home and the change of environment was much needed. I think if I stayed in Ohio for another day I might have spontaneously exploded,” you joked, causing him to let out a soft chuckle. 
“Anytime,” he replied while kissing the nape of your neck.
“Do you feel better?” You asked. “I hope you were able to get your mind off of things. Your stuff was a lot heavier than mine,”
He lets out a content sigh and says, “Actually, yeah I do feel better. I think I just needed to get out of the chaos and get out of my head. This trip has helped me decompress and realize that not everything has to be so stuffy all the time,” Joe says. 
“Exactly,” you chirp as you lean your head back to place a kiss on his neck.
“I can’t do anything about what people are saying, they’ll always talk. But what I can do is work hard to get back to where I’m supposed to be. And I won’t be able to get there if I’m constantly pressuring myself,” he says. “Letting loose and having fun is a part of that journey. I need that balance,” he adds.
“And this is a great start,” you say while smiling up at Joe
“Yes it is,” Joe says while pressing another kiss to your forehead. 
You both had spent the rest of the night talking about the rest of your exciting activities planned for the final 2 days of the trip. You even talked about a few fun things you could do around Cincinnati when you get back home so that you could keep the work-life balance that you both so desperately needed. 
“This impromptu vacation might have been the best idea you’ve had so far,” you tell Joe as you both are about to fall asleep. 
“We should get away more often,” Joe grins.
--The End--
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vixstarria · 6 months
Text
Something real
I thought I’d play around with an Astarion POV and this is what happened.  
Connected with my other headcanon fics, would take place after this one, but before the end of this one. You don’t have to read them for this to make sense though. (But you totally should!) 
Astarion x Reader, Astarion x Tav, Astarion x Bard Tav, soft Astarion, Astarion POV
Comfort, fluff, budding love, banter, humour, Act 1 spoilers, non-explicit, light angst, probably too much swearing 
Approximately 2,000 words. 
You were lying alone by the fire, waiting for her to join you, trying once again to untangle the mess this woman made in your head. 
What exactly were you, to each other? 
Were you just temporary travelling companions having meaningless sex for stress relief?  
Or were you lovers in the more literal sense of that word? 
And is that what you wanted..? To be someone’s, whom you could call your own? To have something real..?  
It should have been simple, except the lines kept shifting and blurring. And needless to say, this wasn’t at all what you had initially intended.  
All you knew was, this deliciously ambiguous time at the end of your evenings, when you just talked – this was your favourite time of day.  
You were restless with anticipation, now that everyone else had finally gone to sleep or was shuffling around in their tents. 
Except she was nowhere to be seen.  
You could always slip into her tent, she might even have been waiting for you there now – but then you'd most likely wind up putting on the ‘seductive lusty lover’ mask, and as fun as that was, it’s not what you wanted right now.  
You were getting impatient. 
You wondered just how undignified and out of character it would be to simply go to her tent and lure her out on some pretense, like the stars being particularly bright, or some similar horseshit. You glanced at the sky. The stars weren’t even visible.  
Fuck. ...Well, she’d just laugh at that anyway.  
But lo and behold, there she was at last, plundered bottle of wine in hand. You bit your tongue to avoid addressing her with any of your habitual epithets, for which she’d rebuked you on numerous occasions, but she went ahead and did it for you herself anyway:  
“Here I am! The wind beneath your wings, the rose among your thorns! The fire in your furnace, the... uh... help me out here, will you?” 
“The biting canines in my buttock.” 
“There we go! A touch predictable, but no less eloquent for it.” 
She sat down, right next to your head, stretching her legs out towards the fire, and gave you a searching and expectant look, not saying anything. 
You raised a quizzical eyebrow back at her. 
“Well come on, scooch up,” she said with a playful smile on her lips. 
You lifted slightly on your elbows and laid your head in her lap.  
This is new. 
“Can I offer you something to drink?” she asked, waving a wrist, and then the wine in the other hand suggestively at you.  
“Not tonight, dear,” you chuckled. “I had quite a successful boar hunt while the rest of you were playing hero in the foothills.” 
“Suit yourself.” She took a drink straight from the bottle and stared off into the fire, her other hand absentmindedly running through your hair. You resisted the urge to lean further into her touch.  
“What’s on your mind?” you asked after the silence went on a touch too long. 
“I would like you to explain something to me.” she said quietly.  
You instinctively tensed, your mind racing, wondering what you could have possibly done or let slip. 
“...Why in the fuck do you lot listen to and take directions from me? Do none of you realize I’m just a shit-talking clown and have no idea what I’m doing?” the tone of her voice was flat.  
...Ah. That. 
“This ‘clown’ led us unscathed through a subversive operation in a goblin camp. Mostly via shit-talking. You even convinced one of them to lick your boot!” you shook your head incredulously. “Give yourself credit where it’s due. Do you think anyone else here could have pulled that off?” 
I probably could have. Wouldn’t. But could have.  
She took a swig from the bottle, considering your question. “Well you definitely could have done the same. You’d just choose not to. ...why are you laughing?” 
“Never mind that. Would you like me to take over for you, darling?” 
“Good heavens, no!” she grimaced in mock horror. “Just stay at my side, as my moral compass.” 
“Your moral compass?” 
“When in doubt, I ask myself ‘What would Astarion do?’, and do the opposite. Usually that’s good enough to keep everyone happy and keep bloodshed to a minimum.” 
You’re not wrong.  
“But gods it’s been exhausting...” she was sombre again. “They all want something, and they all think their problem is the most urgent. ‘We must go to the creche – no, we must go to Moonrise – no, but my heart will explode – no, but I and everything around me will explode’” she was getting riled up, gesticulating with the bottle in her hand. You were worried it would fly out of her grip. She paused to collect herself.  
“At least your demands are too insane to entertain in the first place,” she continued with a weary grin. “‘Embrace the tadpole, take over a cult, fight squirrels, commit genocide’” - she did her best to mimic your manner of speaking, then rolled her eyes and took another swig from the bottle.  
“Never know where a little thinking outside the box might lead you, dear.” I just want my freedom, whatever it takes. ...And that squirrel was looking at you funny. “And you? What do you want?” 
“A hot bath, new lute strings, and a cat to cuddle,” she answered without hesitation.  
You couldn’t think of anything better than to emit a very convincing meow.  
It must have taken her by surprise - she glanced down at you, eyes wide, before bursting out laughing and scratching you behind the ear.  
You hated to admit it, but you were very pleased with yourself, making her laugh like that.  
“My pointy-eared feline predator,” she murmured, looking into your eyes and smiling, as she slowly and delicately ran her finger along the edge of your ear, right to the tip, which felt... divine, actually.  
This... this was too intimate for someone you just had meaningless sex with, right? 
You heard some rustling and footsteps nearby, too casual to be an intruder, probably just someone walking off to relieve themselves.  
She jerked her hand away from you, like a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar, and actually made a motion as if to get up, before you stopped her with a gentle hand on her wrist, still lying with your head in her lap. 
“Hey... Hold on... Now you explain something to me. Earlier today, you burst into camp covered in hyena entrails, yelled ‘My star!’, threw yourself on me, legs and arms and all, like some deranged monkey, and made me spin you around, kissing you. ...But this is what embarrasses you?”  
“That was putting on a silly act,” she said sheepishly. “And this is...” she faltered, looking for the right words. 
Real..? 
“Not intended for anyone else’s eyes.” 
Real. 
"Well everyone can direct their eyes elsewhere, then,” you responded, unable to contain a smile.  
It’s real.  
...Ahah!  
“Oh, and you’re absolutely adorable, by the way,” you added. 
She flicked you lightly on the nose and looked away. Was she blushing? 
“Anyway. It’s Gale that worries me the most.” 
Fucking Gale. 
“He said the last artifact he consumed hardly did anything. He doesn’t know how much longer he can contain it. He’s inconsolable.” she continued.  
“Perhaps we should all stop worrying and embrace the orb explosion. At least that will mean we won’t have to deal with anything else, ever.” you suggested. This was helpful, right?  
“I wish I could do something to help, or at least get his mind off it for a while.” 
Of course you do, you bleeding heart. 
“And how might you ‘get his mind off it’, exactly?” 
“I think we should seduce him,” she looked you straight in the eyes and said in a deadpan manner.  
Oh, sliding off a serious topic straight back into fuckery with a straight face, are we? I know that game very well.  
“Darling, even without the orb, he would literally explode if you held eye contact with him a second too long. He’s been pining for you since you pulled him out of that rock.” You waved a dismissive hand in Gale’s general direction. “The kindest thing you can do for him is give all your undivided attention to me, so he never has a glimmer of hope.” 
Bloody Gale with his manicured beard, puppydog eyes and cooking skills... 
“Well, while we’re on the topic, I still think we should seduce someone, to spice camp life up a bit. How about Lae’zel?” she continued.
“Lae’zel would skewer both of us if we approached her.” 
...and his warm hands... 
“Shadowheart?” 
“...You know, I’m pretty sure Lae’zel would skewer us for that, too. Perhaps all three of us, on the same blade.” 
...and his ability to find kind and empathetic words in any situation. ...Shame about the orb though. 
“What about...” she grinned, “daddy Halsin?” 
You exchanged a meaningful look. 
Ha! Well there’s a curious thought. I wonder if he could contain himself, or if he would turn into a bear. How... dangerous. 
“Let’s revisit that thought later.” you said pensively.  
“Karlach is impossible, of course...” she continued. “That leaves Wyll.” 
“Oh please,” you chortled. “Even if he wasn’t depressed over the whole... demonic horns and abducted parent conundrum. He strikes me as the ‘wait until marriage’ type. And he’d want to do the seducing himself.” 
“I’m not so sure about the marriage part. He would keep it proper and gentlemanly though.” she thoughtfully tapped her lower lip with a finger. “Multiple extravagant dates to impress his sweetheart before making any moves, the whole shabang. You wouldn’t want him to try to sweep you off your feet?” 
“Just me? No no, we are in this together.” you remarked. “And he could certainly afford to woo us both at once, being the son of a duke.” 
“Weeks of wining and dining us, waiting for the fires of ‘true love’ to fully ignite...” she said contemplatively, gazing into the fire. 
“Smothering us with red roses, romantic moonlit carriage rides and ballroom dancing...” you copied her tone. 
“Until finally railing you on a grand piano one day, while I whipped him with a switch,” she said with a devilish grin. 
“You absolute uncouth filth!” it was your turn to be taken off-guard as you shook with laughter.  
You incredible, ridiculous, mad thing... I would spend another year locked alone and hungry in a tomb, if it meant keeping you alive and safe. 
Something in your chest twisted. 
Did I really just think that? 
Yes, yes I did.  
You needed to stop and consider what just came into your head. And give yourself a good slap in the face. But for now, more than anything, you desperately needed to switch your brain off.  
You sat up and kissed her, pulling her into an embrace. 
“You crazy idiot, what am I going to do with you?” you whispered, briefly touching your forehead to hers. 
“Something nasty, I hope,” she answered with a cheeky smile. But there was more warmth than lust in her eyes. 
“My tent or yours?” you asked softly, trailing a finger down a bare arm. 
“Do you have vials of boar blood everywhere?” 
“Yes. Do you have everything you’ve collected, ever, everywhere?” 
“...Yes.” 
Hoarder. I would give you a whole palace to decorate, just to see what you would do with it.  
Sigh... “I guess I could accommodate you for a short while.” 
Please stay all night.  
On a sudden whim, you swept her up in your arms as you got up, carrying her to your tent.  
What in the hells was I thinking?  
“Oh!” she gasped, surprised. “My... I don’t suppose you’ve got a grand piano in there?” 
“We’ll have to make do with my trunk, I’m afraid.” 
“And they say romance is dead.” 
None of this was going according to plan.  
Fuck the plan.  
You felt like a cretin and a fraud as you carried her off. But you’d make it right. She deserved something better. Something real.  
And so did you, godsdamnit.  
I’ll tell her... Just not today. 
~~~~~
Next in series - Are you mine?
This work is part of a series - here is the master list
AO3
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sarawritestories · 1 month
Note
hiii i cant get ur fics out of my head so i thought i'd request one! i came across this vid on tiktok and i'd love to see your take on a cassian x reader fic w this vibe HAHAHA i dont mind whoever would be character a or b in this scenario so i leave it in your capable hands! my only specific request is that they're both in the IC hihi
https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSFay7B7J/
This was a lot of fun to write! I hope I did this request justice for you!
I Won't Say I'm In Love
Cassian X Fem Reader
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Summary: You are toe to toe in a sparring match with Cassian when he eventually has you pinned to the ground. After some banter Nesta, Gwyn and Emerie confront you about your feelings for him and it's later that night when the four of you are having a girls night do you realize what your feelings truly are.
Content Warnings: None
Word Count 1.7K
A/N: This song was stuck in my head as I wrote this.
ACOTAR Masterlist
You were sparring with Cassian, sweat trickling down your back as the sun unleashed the cruel heat of summer upon you. Opting to take off your leathers and kept the band around your chest and leggings just to keep your cool.  “Don’t give up on me now, Sweetheart.” He lunged an attack that you easily dodge.
“Who said anything about giving up, I’m just getting started.” You swiped your leg to the back of his knee, his hand gripping your calf.
Your eyes widened as he gave me a playful grin, both of us realizing my error. In a quick sweep Cassian maneuvered you to where your chest pressed against the mat and his chest was pressed against your back. His legs wrapped around yours locking you in place. You squirmed under him as he grazed his fingers lightly up your bare torso and you sucked in a breath as his calloused hands reached your arms where he pinned your wrist. You tried to break his grip as heat blasted to your cheeks. Cassian flared his wings and shade consumed the two of you, a reprieve from the unyielding sun. You continued to wiggle under his grip, He leaned in and whispered, “Stop wiggling.”
You scowled and continued your writhing, “You’re not the boss of me, you prick.”
Cassian chuckled, “I’m your general, Sweetheart. That does in fact make me the boss of you.” He gripped your wrist tighter, “I order you to stop wiggling.”  You rolled your eyes, and wiggled anyway and he growls low in your ear, heat pooling in your belly. “I will put you in Az’s dungeon for insubordination if you keep it up. Let the Shadowsinger remind you how to act around your superiors.”
You turned your head and batted your eyelashes at him, “Is that a promise, General?”  You emphasized his title and suddenly the pressure of his body is on you.  You turned on your back to sit up and saw him stalking back into the House of Wind, his wings ruffling. Nesta stepped forward offering you a hand, Gwyn and Emerie not far to follow.
“When are you going to put that insufferable bat out of his misery?” Nesta questioned with a quizzical brow.
You frowned, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Gwyn rolled her eyes and looped her arms through yours, “Everyone knows that he is in love with you. I mean the way he looks at you and touches you.”
You laughed, “Gwyn, I think those romance novels are going to your head. We’re just friends, he’s just a flirt. Besides, I don’t even like him like that. He’s like my brother.”
That much was true Rhys had met you in Hewn City when you were both teenagers. You were about to get married off and taking the steps down the aisle when Cassian and Azriel came in and swooped you out of the city and into Velaris. Rhysand then placed you in charge of working with the citizens of the city of Starlight to help with any repairs or issues that needed to be taken care of. And had been a part of the Inner Circle ever since, it was helping train Nesta and the Valkyries that brought you true joy the three girls bringing you such a light in your life.
Nesta rolled her eyes as we all headed into the House. “Whatever, you say, but he never calls anyone else, Sweetheart.”
You bit your lip and kept quiet as the four of you walked through the dining room where Azriel sat. “Hello, ladies, how was training?” He addressed the group, but his eyes lingered on the red head on my arm.”
Gwyn just smirked, “Fantastic, Cassian was about to devour his Sweetheart on the mat today. It was romantic.” You glared at her, and her Teal eyes twinkled with mischief.
Azriel chuckled drawing my gaze to the spymaster as he looked at me, “Did he now?”
You crossed my arms, “No he didn’t, all he did was pinned me down and threatened to throw me in your dungeons. Also, Gwyn didn’t even”
Az looked to Gwyn, “You have a strange idea of Romance did you know that?”
Gwyn winked at him, and his shadows swirled in response. “Oh, you have no idea, Shadowsinger.”
Feeling the tension in the room, I announced, “Okay well now that we established that Cassan was not coming on to me, and whatever the Hel is going on with you two,” Both Az and Gwyn blush and avert the other one’s gazes, “I’m in need of a bath I’ll see you later tonight.” You walked over and kissed Az’s cheek. “Shadowsinger.”
“Sweetheart.” Az teased, you flipped him off and headed to your room. Cleaning off the sweat and grime of the day, the cold bite of the chilled bath cooling your overheated skin.
Everyone knows that he’s in love with you.
Gwyn’s words reverberated in your mind. Up until you walked into the library where your friends were waiting for you later that night, pajamas on and books in hand. “Ready for book club?” You asked, taking a seat next to Emerie, her hair in her regular braid.
“Yes, let’s begin.” Nesta said pointed stare looking you up and down with a smirk on her face. Looking down at the black silk shorts and top your eyes widened where the red lace was peeking through. You tugged down your shirt as Nesta began reading some of her favorite passages.
“Didn’t you just adore when the knight, came in to help the maiden with her nightmare, even though he has claimed time and again he doesn’t care about her.” Gwyn swooned and your mind drifted.
“Sweetheart, wake up!”
You opened your eyes and met with Cassian’s hazel ones. His hands cupped your cheeks, wiping the stray tears from your face. Cassian’s face held worry there. “What’s going on?” You whispered, voice hoarse and strained.
“You were screaming, calling for help. I came in you were thrashing about in your bed. Scratched me good,” You noticed then that his cheek had a slight gash that was already healing. “Nightmare?”
Your lip wobbled and you gave him a nod. He wiped the sweat soaked strands of hair out of my face. “Stay with me?” you whimpered.
Cassian pressed his forehead to yours and your eyes fluttered close, “Of course, Sweetheart.” And Cassian wrapped you in his arms wings covering you as if his wing could protect you from any impending nightmare to come your way.
Emerie’s voice broke you from your reverie, “I am particularly fond of when the knight dances with her at the ball.
Another memory flashed forward:
You dropped your bag and fought the tears; nothing was more embarrassing than having a date stand you up. A hand gripped your wrist, and the familiar scent of sandalwood told you who it was. You turned and found Cassian there his hair down and stubble grazing his cheeks, “I thought you were on a date tonight?”
I shrugged, “Someone has to show up for it to be considered a date.” His face fell and he gripped your hand, “Oh, I’m so sorry, Sweetheart.” He paused and glanced at you clad in a blue striped sundress. “Come here.” He pulled you close to him, his large hand splayed across your back as he pressed your chest your head reached his chest.
“What are you doing?” You asked, placing your own hand on his arm as he gripped your other hand, as he began to sway his wings tucked in.
“I’m dancing with a beautiful female,” Cassian grinned as he turned you both around the room. His grin was contagious and instantly the tears threatening to spill were gone and instead you began to laugh as he twirled you around until you both had exhausted yourselves and he simply held you close and swayed late into the evening.
Nesta’s snapping your face brought you back to the group, “Sorry, I guess my head isn’t here.”
Nesta smirked, “We were just wanting to know. Your favorite part of the book.”
You looked down and grazed your fingers over the cover of the book, “Um I enjoyed the scene, where Cassian-” You blinked and looked up at the girls all three smirking back at you. Then as though a ton of bricks had crashed down on you of memories flashing through of all the times Cassian has interacted with you, and your feelings came flooding to the surface you bolted up from my seat, “OH WHAT THE FUCK! OH GOD.”
Gwyn smiled and crossed her legs, Resting her head on her palm, “What’s the matter, Y/N?”
Not responding to them you bolted from the library and descended the stairs, the plush carpet squishing the bottom of your feet as you barged into Cassian’s room not bothering to knock.
Cassian jolted from his bed, dropping the book he was reading, replacing it with a knife ready, a general ready for battle. His face softened when he realized it was you, his hair was in a bun, a few strands falling down his face, and he wasn’t wearing a shirt, his chiseled body, and tattoos on full display. His brow furrowed as he noticed your rapid breathing, “Sweetheart, what’s the matter?”
Shutting the door, you leaned against it, “I love you.” You murmured looking down at your feet.
“Come again?” You looked up and Cassian had put the knife down, his chest still as though he wasn’t breathing.
You took a step forward, “I love you, Cassian.”
Cassian closed the distance between the two of you, your heart began to quicken as he gripped your waist “Say it one more time for me, Sweetheart.”
You wrapped your arms around his neck, “I. Love. You.”
He growled, “Finally.” He pressed his lips to yours the warmth of his bare chest seeping into your bones as pulled him closer deepening the kiss.
He pulled away his thumbs grazing your hip bones, “I have loved you for so long.” He whispered against Your lips.
“I’m sorry it took so long.” you whispered back. “I’m here now and I’m yours, if you’ll have me.”
Cassian smiles. “Mine.” He pecked your lips, as he slapped your ass eliciting a moan. “All fucking mine.” He kissed you again before pulling away, and kissing your nose, “Now be a good girl and take off your clothes for me.”
You smile as you grip the hem of your top, “Yes, General.”
Part 2 can be found here
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The Scars On His Back
Just going to slowly reupload my fics...two at a time...
Summary: Astarion has a nightmare and goes out to the forest for a breather when he runs into you.
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He’s back there again, with the feeling of a knife tearing into his back, carving up his flesh. Blood runs down his body, creating rivers of crimson on his pale skin and drips onto the floor, pooling between his feet. He can feel the stickiness of the liquid penetrating the gaps between his toes, the feeling sending shivers up his spine. His lifeblood drains with each moment, the pain overwhelms what is left of his soul and tears his body apart, sending screams ripping from his throat until his voice is hoarse but it never stops. The knife digs in again and again, the pain harshly dragging him back into reality each time he drifts off too far into the black void.
And then he wakes up with a start to the mess that is his tent, chest heaving out of habit and a sting in his eyes. His hands tremble as they reach up to wipe his weakness away, nearly causing him to nick himself. He presses his hands against his face, shakily drawing deep breaths.
He’s far far away from there now. He’s safe from him , with the tadpole in his head. He won’t have to bow and scrape to him as long as the tadpole remains. As long as you shelter him.
Hastily throwing on a tunic to cover up the scars, he heads outside his tent for some fresh air, to be away from the stuffiness that his tent brings tonight. The night air is cooling, a gentle breeze whistling through the still camp. Moonlight spills through the tree canopy, shining beams of silvery light upon the various tents pitched around the once burning campfire.
Quiet trills of nighttime creatures fill the silence, the smell of your blood wafting from…hold on. The smell of your blood? Ruby eyes widen and his feet move in the direction his nose is picking the scent up from before his mind can register anything. You are injured , his half-awake mind processes, a small pool of panic bubbling within his chest as he quickens his pace. How bad are your wounds? Have you been attacked? Will he make it in time?
He bursts through the trees, gaze frantically searching for any signs of an attack but all he sees was you. There is no sign or scent of enemies, only your lonesome figure sitting sheepishly on a rock, crimson liquid seeping through your fingers.
“Hi Astarion,” you smile, waving awkwardly.
“Y/N!” He hurries over to your side. “You’re bleeding.”
“So it seems,” you chuckle. “A small accident, really. I merely slipped on some wet grass and cut myself on the sharp edges of the stones.”
“You really are the clumsiest person I know, darling,” he shakes his head with a sigh, taking out some bandages and ointment. “Let’s treat this wound of yours before it gets infected. Wouldn’t want a small accident to turn into a big mess now, would we?”
You nod, biting your tongue before words that will ruin the mood slip past your lips. It’s better to keep to yourself how prepared he was to treat your injuries, and especially the fact that you could tell he was worried about you. Then an idea hits you.
“Since I’m already bleeding, do you want to feed on me?” The question sends his head shooting upwards, a quizzical look on his face.
“Feed…on you?”
“Yeah, like drink my blood since it’s leaking out of my body anyways, would be a shame if so much of it went to waste,” you can’t help but grin, “I can see your fangs peeking out, you know. Go ahead and drink, I don’t mind.”
He opens his mouth, moving it closer to your wound. The sweet scent of your blood hits his nostrils hard and they flare in response, hunger gnawing in his chest. You had offered your blood to him, what did you want in return? His body? His services?
Ruby red eyes search your face, waiting for you to lay down your conditions but you simply press your bleeding arm to his lips with a small smile, dabbing a sliver of blood on his lips.
“I mean it, Astarion. And no, I don’t want anything in return. I promise.”
A small puff of breath leaves his lips at your words and his tongue darts out, gently licking a stripe up your arm. When you don’t pull away, he gets a little bolder, sucking blood from the open wound. You hiss softly when his fangs dig in, drawing more blood from your body but keep your arm steady. He hungrily drinks it all in, the sweet flavour bursting in his mouth.
You don’t know what compels you to do it, but your other hand moves towards his hair, gently running your fingers through his silver curls, twirling the longer strands around your index finger. You carefully avoid touching his ears, knowing how sensitive they are and instead tangle your fingers in the hair at the top of his head.
He quietly purrs against your arm, pressing his tongue against the wound to staunch what bleeding he can before cleaning the wound thoroughly with a damp cloth, sending vibrations running up your arm. Gently dabbing the ointment on your arm, he wraps a bandage around the wound, pressing one last kiss to it before standing back up, offering a hand.
“Shall we return to camp before the others begin panicking? I doubt they can function without the both of us.” The smile on his face is filled with apprehension, a fact that doesn’t go unnoticed by you.
“Astarion –”
“Don’t you worry, my sweet. I’ll repay this debt of yours as soon as possible,” he winks, pulling you to your feet. “You won’t regret it in the slightest.”
As he turns to leave, you shout.
“Astarion!”
He stops in his tracks, turning around. Muscles tensed, he tries to cover up the fear that is thrumming through his veins with a feigned smile, hoping it’d mellow out your anger. After all, you could neve resist his smile…right?
You see the way fear flashes in his eyes and immediately regret raising your voice, even if it was out of frustration directed at yourself. Taking a deep breath to clear away your anger, you hold out a hand in peace offering.
“I’m sorry for raising my voice at you. I’m not mad at you, I’m just…” Your voice trails off. How do you even justify what you just did? You know of the horrors Cazador inflicted on him, and yet you still lash out.
“It’s quite alright, Y/N,” he chuckles nervously.
You vigorously shake your head, “I really am sorry about it. There’s no way I can justify raising my voice at you, you didn’t do anything wrong. I was really frustrated at myself for not being able to convince you I didn’t want anything in return, I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”
Astarion searches for any sign of a lie in your words but finds nothing. You really meant it. Every word you said. Your apology, your insistence on needing nothing from him after he had just fed on you, all of it was sincere and genuine. His undead heart skips a beat and suddenly the night doesn’t feel so cold anymore.
You care about him.
Before he knows it, his feet carry him over to you once more, his hand sliding into your outstretched one. The warmth blooms from your palm and winds around his cold one as your fingers intertwine with his.
“Y/N,” he breathes.
“Will you accept my apology?” You ask softly, eyes downcast.
“Of course, dearest. I always will,” he leans in, lips hovering over your forehead. Can he kiss you? Will he taint you if he does?
You tilt your head upwards, meeting his lips with yours and he immediately melts into the kiss. Unlike his previous kisses, this one is filled with care and love, not the usual lust and passion he’s used to receiving. Your arms wrap around him, hands resting on his back where scars tell of his past and he reflexively tenses. But this time, the hands on his back mean him no harm. They lie there to pull him closer into your warm embrace, to protect him from those who seek to harm him. So he lets them rest on his vulnerable back, soaking in the strange warmness that the simple action brings.
Astarion closes his eyes, putting his own arms around you. It’s weird, hugging someone for the first time. You don’t mind his cold dead fingers resting on your back and even press closer against him, enveloping him in your warmth.
When your lips part ways, he doesn’t say a word lest his voice wavers and betrays him. He lets you do the talking, relishing in the way you hold onto his hand tightly. Not a single move is made when you lead him into his tent, only letting go of his hand to help him tidy up his bedroll. You make sure he’s comfortable before turning to leave, pausing when he calls out your name in such a gentle manner.
“Stay…with me?” He begs. Your heart aches from his tone and once more you’re reminded of how much he hurts on the inside, so you backtrack and wrap your arms around him.
“Always.”
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teamatsumu · 7 months
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kinktober 2023 -> day 10
video taping - suna rintarou x reader
word count: 592
kinktober masterlist
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Suna had many pictures of you. And he didn’t just mean innocent ones of you eating ice cream or holding up a peace sign. He meant the racy ones that he kept under lock and key in a hidden folder on his phone that only opened by face recognition. Whether they were nudes you had sent him at some point during your many late night texting conversations, or pictures he had personally taken of you when you were getting hot and heavy, the fox-eyed pro athlete had a sturdy roster of materials he could use to jack off to during volleyball season away games, where many weeks would go by before he could feel your body against his again.
It was during a particularly rough two month stint away from home when Suna realized that even though he had a wide variety of photos of you in compromising positions, he was severely lacking in videos.
Well, that just wouldn't do.
So the next time he had you sitting on the floor between his legs, head bobbing up and down on his dick as you slowly licked and sucked over him, he reached for his phone, clicking the record button to capture the sight in front of him. He couldn’t resist. There’s no way he could pass this up. This was something he needed desperately in his wank bank.
“Rin, what are you doing?” You inquired with a quizzical look on your face, one of your hands wrapped around the base of his cock, the tip mere inches from your shiny lips. Suna felt himself twitch, hips jerking up a bit until your mouth kissed his dick again.
“Keep going baby, c’mon.” His voice was already wrecked, watching you through the phone screen as his hand reached behind your head, coaxing you down until your mouth had opened again to welcome him inside. He sighed in relief and hummed his approval, watching you get back to work.
There was something so fucking hot about watching all this through a screen, especially when he could feel what was happening right behind the camera. You looked up into the camera lens as you slurped all over his cock, eyes swimming with tears when he hit the back of your throat, one hand holding his shaft steady while the other toyed with his balls.
“That’s it, baby.” Suna groaned. “You’re a natural. The camera loves you.”
That got a moan out of you, making Suna curse and struggle to not let his head fall back and eyes slip shut. He needed to watch this, needed to see, even though this would be on video, he needed to see it as it was happening, as you really got into the whole camera thing.
There was another thing he really needed to get on film. So as he felt himself getting closer to the brink, he pulled your head off, groaning when you immediately replaced your mouth with your hand and stroked him fast and tight until he came in long spurts all over your face, your mouth open to catch just a little bit on your tongue. The sight made Suna dizzy with pleasure, and when you looked up at the camera, tongue still hanging out and face covered in white, he nearly came again.
That video carried Suna’s orgasms on its back for the next two weeks he spent away from you for game season. And Suna vowed he could get more videos of you, ideas of different positions and angles racing through his head already.
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Taglist:
@bxbyyyjocelyn @thisbicc @lazuliquartz @dreamayy @kuroosluthoe @true-form-hoe @akumakitsune21 @cham0mil3-and-h0n3y @samisfunky @universal-s1ut @msbyomimi @dohwaesu @leothesquishy @n0tmykays @tsukiran @reyofsunshinelol @bleach-your-panties @galaneiaeris @leyra-giovanni @erenspersonalwh0re @peachesncats @soapsoftheworld @iwannabecamiloshovel @vintagevict0ria @smithieandy @moonlit-mizukage @snazzyturtles
A/N: For those whose tags arent working, im sorry! I tried and for some reason, your names wont show up in the mentions :( another way of being notified is to turn on my blog notifs for @teamatsumufics . I only reblog my fics there so it serves almost like being in a taglist!
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myysaints · 6 months
Note
saw your requests are open so i’d like to request something! something angsty because this came to me after listening to ‘cherry’ by harry styles :p reader is danny’s ex but they broke up, few months later he’s dating someone else and reader is now in a (new/fresh) relationship with another driver, max/charles i couldn’t decide so i’ll let you do that! ♡ just something angsty like him realizing how much he misses her but she’s moved on and happy 🫶🏼 hope this makes sense? ah, love your stuff btw!!!
thank u anon you're so sweet! and ughhhh this request was IMMACULATE cherry is one of my favourite harry styles songs. wasn't sure if you wanted a socmed fic, if u did lmk and i'd be happy to adapt it into one! but i hope you enjoy nevertheless :)
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I, I just miss I just miss your accent and your friends
Daniel stares down at his phone.
What a cruel twist of fate it is that the moment he opened his Instagram, he sees you.
You’re laughing in the picture, your hand looped around none other than Max’s neck. You’re sprawled on the Red Bull driver’s lap, and there’s a giddy grin on both of your faces, Max’s arm wrapped protectively around your waist. It feels bittersweet, seeing that familiar sweet smile of yours, only now it’s pointed at another man.
It’s only one photo in a carousel of others posted by your best friend. Why Daniel still follows her, he has no idea. But he stares at the photograph of you for longer than he’d like to admit.
There’s a shuffling noise from the kitchen, and Daniel’s new girlfriend pokes her head into the room. “Danny, we still going out for dinner?”
Daniel can only stare at her for a moment, too caught up in the memories of you and him to reply.
He knows what he’s doing is wrong. He knows he shouldn’t be leading this poor girl along. He knows that all this relationship is to him is a way to distract himself from what’s really eating at him. He knows that she’s just a replacement for you.
But the quizzical smile his girlfriend sends has his heart aching in guilt, so he manages a feeble nod in response, quickly shutting his phone off and throwing it onto the bed, before making his way to her smiling face.
The guilt eats him alive as he makes small talk with her over dinner. He would never admit it, but sometimes he can’t stand to look at her; to roll over in bed and see someone other than you laying beside him.
Did you know I still talk to them?
Everything changed after Zandvoort.
Daniel was partially to blame, he knew that. The crash in free practice had taken a toll on him, not just physically but mentally. The season in AlphaTauri was his one shot at proving that he still had it in him to be a class Formula 1 driver - to the world, to Red Bull, and to himself.
You were supportive of him all the way. From the moment he entered talks with Red Bull and AlphaTauri to get back into F1, to when he first got in that white and blue car at Hungary, you were always there, by his side.
But Zandvoort changed things. Zandvoort changed him.
He started to push you away. The comments from the media, from fans, from people everywhere, all around him, were starting to get to him. Did nobody believe in him anymore? Was he really not cut out for Formula 1?
Was his time really up?
The weeks of recovery were dark for the both of you. For him, most of it was spent in bed, his mind fuzzy from the painkillers and medicine, too tired and too beaten to do anything. For you, it was utter torture. To see the man you loved, the man whose laughter and mere presence brought so many smiles to those in the paddock, the man who never knew when to give up, look so futile and disappointed? It hurt.
But he hurt you more.
Does he take you walking round his parents' gallery?
It’s funny. Fate, he means. How it has a way of testing him, how it has a way of bringing his mind and him back to you. Always you.
“Has anyone seen Max and Y/N? They were supposed to arrive a while ago, are they late? ”  
Instinctively, Daniel turns. It’s almost pathetic really. How just the sound of your name catches his attention and has him whipping around, his eyes searching for you. How you unwittingly made him into your own lapdog.
You aren’t there, though, so he keeps his head down and ignores the questioning look his girlfriend sends him.
In the final few weeks, and perhaps even months, of your relationship, Daniel hadn’t been kind on you. He became bitter, spiteful, even jealous. To him, you just didn’t understand the weight on his shoulder, the pressures he had to face. But how could you? Despite all your protests and pleading, he was shutting you out of his life, bit by bit.
Every time you came over, it ended with screaming matches and you leaving with tears in your eyes. Daily visits from you turned into weekly check-ins. He started to turn his head away from you when you tried to kiss his cheek. Those turned into brusque hand squeezes. His texts, too, became sparse and dry. He recoiled from you when you were around.
He could still remember the heartbreak on your face when he told you he wanted to break up. "It's for both of our own good," he mumbled. "I need to focus on racing. You should have a life outside of me."
It was a bitter end, and to this day, Daniel still regrets not putting up enough of a fight. How stupid he had been, to think that without you, he could give his 100% to racing. How stupid he had been, to think of you as a distraction.
He can’t imagine how stupid he must appear to you now, showing up on Sunday with a new girlfriend on his arm.
Don't you call him baby
“You sure you’re okay?”
You smooth down your dress for the umpteenth time, breathing out a nervous sigh as you smile back at Max, who glances at you in slight concern. His press officer is fussing over the both of you, the paddock entrance looming both terrifyingly and excitingly ahead.
It’s about to be your first public appearance with Max, and your first public appearance at a Formula 1 grand prix since… Well, since your relationship with Daniel ended.
It’s been a rough few months. It took time, getting used to Daniel’s absence. You hadn’t realised just how much of your life had revolved around his being; it became painful to even step foot in the paddock, to even switch on the television to catch up on the latest grand prix.
Even worse was the public scrutiny. You and Daniel had always been open about your relationship, frequently sharing bits and pieces of your life together on each of your social medias. So it was no wonder than when you both stopped posting each other, and when you took down all your posts with him, that fans knew something was up.
Things hadn’t been easy. But Max had made it better. What started as a friendly reaching out turned into a heartachingly romantic and sweet courting, and now, he was your boyfriend.
You smile at Max, reaching up to press a gentle kiss on his cheek. You can hear a flurry of cameras snapping away, and you resist glancing at them, choosing instead to focus on your boyfriend. At your peck, Max ducks his head, as if suddenly shy despite the two of you having dated for going on 3 months now. Still, the small grin on his face tells you all you need to know.
“I’ll be fine,” you say as you slip your hand into his, and give a nod to his press officer. Max’s thumb smooths over your knuckles, and you finally feel yourself relax. You look into his eyes, and in this moment, you know: You’re happy.
“Don’t worry ‘bout me, baby.”
We're not talking lately
Everyone notices when you enter the paddock.
Not only because it’s the first time in months that you’ve appeared at a Grand Prix, but because you have Max Verstappen beside you. With his arm around your waist.
“What’s happening?” his girlfriend asks, craning her neck to peer at the paddock entrance. “Did someone just arrive?”
“It’s Max,” a passing journalist calls, as he hastens towards the paddock entrance himself. “With Y/N!”
Daniel can’t help himself. Really, he can’t.
It happens before he can stop himself. He’s getting up and pulling his hand from his girlfriend and his feet are taking himself over to you as if they have a mind of their own. As if they still remember that it's where he’s meant to be. By your side.
The crowd doesn’t part for him. Not anymore. He finds himself standing on the outskirts of the gathering group, watching from afar as you bashfully smile for the many snapping cameras, and cling onto Max a little tighter, as the Red Bull driver nods politely at the journalists swarming you.
“Alright, alright, let us through, please,” he hears Max say, “Let my girl have some space, yeah?”
Something akin to jealousy rears its ugly head.
Then the horde of people are moving, and some are finally beginning to notice Daniel.
“Danny!” “Daniel, over here, please!” “How’re you feeling today, Daniel?” “Daniel, how does it feel that Max is dating your ex-girlfriend?”
The question has him reeling, and he can only stare at the waiting journalist incredulously. What a ridiculous fucking question. He has half a mind to charge at the dickhead and throw a punch that will send the cunt into a coma for weeks-
“Look, mate, leave us alone, yeah? Daniel, how’re you doin’?”
Max claps a good-natured hand on Daniel’s back, steering him away from the throng of journalists and photographers, who groan before turning their attention to Fernando, who’s just gotten out of his car.
Max’s friendliness momentarily stuns him, and all he can manage out is a half-convincing “Good, good” in return. This seems to satisfy Max enough, though, because then he’s smiling and nodding and rubbing Daniel’s shoulders.
It’s at this moment Daniel realises you’re still here.
He glances back at you, trailing behind him and Max.
You’re just as pretty as ever, he thinks to himself. It’s almost as if nothing had changed. Like you’re still the one he walked into the paddock with, like you’re waiting for him to finish a conversation with Max, not the other way around.
You don’t even look his way.
“…so then I told Charles, ‘No way, there’s no way you’re convincing Carlos that!’, and then, you know what he said? Really, it’s hilarious, he-”
Max stops his rambling midway, leaning down to listen to something you whisper in his ear.
“I’m gonna head to the garage first, okay?” Daniel hears you mumble, “I’ll see you later, baby.”
Then Max tilts your head up and presses a kiss on your mouth.
It’s at this moment that Daniel can’t help but feel a little foolish. Actually, more than a little. He feels stupid, downright idiotic standing here with his ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend. Trying to pretend like everything was alright.
The worst part of it all, is that you don’t seem fazed at all. To you, it’s like he’s just another driver you bump into ever-so-often. You don’t seem to care about him. It’s like he and the weight of your shared history don’t even exist. Like it never did.
The sight of you walking away from him – again – pains him more than he thought it would. He can’t bear to lose you again, not when he’s still so fucking in love with you.
Soo he darts his hand out and grabs your wrist, and you whip around, eyes wide and stunned, and Daniel feels Max halt beside him, watching him intently.
And you’re looking at him now. Finally, you’re looking at him.
His eyes roam yours, trying to find a hint of familiarity, hoping desperately that he’ll find the same yearning and aching he feels for you reflected in your eyes.
“Don't you call him what you used to call me,” he whispers. Pleading with you.
Something in you seems to soften, and there’s a flash of pain in your eyes, but it's one that is quickly replaced with anger.
You wrench your hand from his grip and shove him away, storming off as Max follows you, casting an indecipherable look at Daniel in the process. Daniel watches as Max catches up to you, and he watches as you let him cradle you in his arms.
But it’s not your anger that hurts the most.
It’s the fact that you never once looked back at him.
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genshinluvr · 8 months
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Trouble in Paradise
Pairings: Various Honkai Star Rail Men x Isekai'd!Reader
Summary: Nanook has always communicated with you through your dreams because both you and Nanook are connected with each other. But now that Nanook has taken a human form, there's no need to communicate through your dreams! You were certain that it was just Nanook who could communicate with you through your dreams until Phantylia showed up.
Note: Not really sure how I feel about this fic 🤔 I guess the best way I can describe my feelings for it would be a love-hate relationship! I was going to post this fic way earlier, but I decided to push the publication time back. I really want to write this one fic, but I need to see how it goes because the isekai'd!reader isn't really isekai'd... but I guess it can be? There are isekais out there that have a reincarnation theme, right? 🥲 If so, maybe that can be a good way for me to have Dan Heng transform into Dan Heng IL :'> Anyway! I don't post anywhere else but on Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and on AO3 (Aaliah_exo).
Warnings: A tiny bit of angst, but it doesn't last long (I think). Reader is sleep deprived (aren't we all?)
Word Count: 6.1k
You open your eyes, and you’re in the void. You sit up, looking around quizzically. The last thing you remembered was going to sleep in the comfort of your bed in the Astral Express. Now, you’re in the void, floating through endless space. The last time you were in the void was before Nanook took human form and accompanied you and the others on your trailblazing adventures. A large shadow soon looms over you, causing you to tense up with fear. A seductive yet mischievous giggle echoes the void. The giggle sounds familiar, and yet you’re having a hard time pinpointing who the giggle belongs to.
“So you’re [Y/N],” a woman says.
You didn’t dare to look at the woman, fearing you were going to be correct on who the voice belonged to. You’ve heard this voice before. The same voice belongs to the woman who tried to convert Jing Yuan into a member of the Antimatter Legion. The same woman who impersonated Tingyun. 
The woman towering over you from behind sighs. “Oh, don’t be like that now. Nanook wouldn’t be pleased if he knows you’re treating me like this,” she coos.
You clenched your jaws and squeezed your hands into tight fists. How dare she use Nanook to get you to face her. You slowly turn around to face the woman towering over you. She smiles with mirth, propping her elbows on nothing, tilting her head to the side while gazing at you with interest. 
“Why did you bring me here, Phantylia?” You demand.
Phantylia smirks and leans back, sighing. “Why are you so hostile? I did nothing to you, and yet you’re acting this way toward me?” Phantylia asks, pouting at you mockingly. 
There are many reasons for you to be hostile. One is her trying to convert Jing Yuan to be a member of the Antimatter Legion, and the other is her mentioning Nanook. What does Nanook have to do with whatever is going on between you and Phantylia? You cross your arms over your chest and glare at the woman.
“You didn’t answer my question, Phantylia,” you hiss, narrowing your eyes at her. 
Phantylia sighs, rolling her eyes. “Am I not allowed to meet the person the Aeon of Destruction is fawning over?” Phantylia asks, raising her eyebrows at you.
No, no, she is not. In fact, you did not want to meet her at all, nor did you think about meeting the woman before you. You don’t know how she managed to bring you into this void without being connected with you, like how you are with Nanook. It’s mind-boggling and a little bit terrifying. If she can bring you into this void without having any connections with you, then she can do something else to you— like taking your body as a vessel and killing you afterward. 
You take a deep breath and exhale through your nostrils, trying to remain calm. If you snap at her, who knows what Phantylia will do to you. There’s nowhere to run, and you don’t think she will let you wake up from this “dream” and escape her presence easily. What you find strange is Phantylia wanting to meet you out of nowhere. Does Nanook know about Phantylia wanting to meet you? Nanook didn’t even mention Phantylia once.
You sit on the floor before Phantylia. “Well, you and I have officially met! Is there anything else you want to say to me? I didn’t expect to meet you so soon, nor do I expect to meet you this way,” you say, crossing your arms over your chest.
Phantylia gazes down at your crossed arms and chuckles with amusement. “Why the hostile gesture? I am here to meet you, nothing else, little star,” Phantylia coos.
She reaches toward you and brushes your hair away from your face with her index finger. You merely flinch when her long nail grazes your forehead. You’re not used to someone of her size touching your face— aside from Nanook, but that is a different story. Nanook is the one who brought you into this universe, not Phantylia. The woman before you clicks her tongue softly and leans forward, her face a few inches from yours.
You scoot back to create distance between you and Phantylia, only for her to sigh with dissatisfaction. You’re not sure why she wanted to meet you so badly. You can go your entire life without having to meet her, and yet here you are, sitting in front of Phantylia in the endless void where you and Nanook would meet every time you go to sleep. The space you once considered your safe space when you wanted to escape from the world around you. The void was the first place you woke up in when you arrived in their universe, and the abyss is where you and Nanook first meet before you regained consciousness, woken up by Caelus attempting to give you CPR.
“You’re adorable, you know that? I can see why Nanook is so… enamored with you,” Phantylia chuckles, shaking her head. “However….” she trails off, tapping her chin.
You raise your eyebrows at her, frowning at her sudden change of behavior. First, she talks about Nanook being in love with you, but then she decides to throw in something equivalent to a ‘but?’ You don’t like where this is going.
“‘However’ what?” You demand, a deep frown etching on your face. 
Phantylia hums softly, leaning away from you with a soft sigh. She brushes her hair from her shoulders and taps her bicep with her index finger. The void around you seems to be getting darker and darker as time passes. You don’t know how long you have been in this void with Phantylia, but you have a feeling it might be longer compared to the time you and Nanook spent in the abyss together. Then again, every time you find yourself in the void, your friends make sure you don’t stay in the void for a long time. 
Phantylia suddenly laughs. “Do you think Nanook is going to love you forever?” She asks suddenly.
You blink at Phantylia, confused. “What are you saying, Phantylia? Spit it out and let me return to my world,” you sigh.
She laughs again. “Your world? Your world?! Oh, please! You’re not from this world, little star. Just because Nanook brought you here does not mean you belong here— like how he doesn’t belong to you,” Phantylia huffs, crossing her arms over her chest like a petulant child. 
Oh.
Oh.
Huh….
She’s jealous of what you have with Nanook. How strange. Does Phantylia have feelings for Nanook the entire time? Even if she does have feelings for the Aeon of Destruction, you don’t play a factor in how their “relationship” plays out. Plus, you’re a bystander who was dragged into this world because the Aeon of Destruction has taken a liking to you. 
You hold your hands up. “Listen, Phantylia. You’re not wrong about me not being from this world. I don’t think you should be going around and telling me that I don’t belong here,” you say, crossing your arms over your chest with a frown.
Phantylia scoffs and rolls her eyes. “And why is that? Are you hurt that I said it, or are you hurt over the fact that what I said is true?” Phantylia asks.
You poke the inside of your cheek with your tongue. You don’t like being in the void anymore. You don’t want to be stuck in the same area as Phantylia. You have seen the damages she can cause, but you don’t want to deal with it, nor do you want to deal with her jealousy. Great, now you’re going to be waking up in a bad mood. You’re going to talk to Nanook when you wake up. That is if Phantylia isn’t going to keep you imprisoned, of course. 
“You interpret that however you want. Nanook and I aren’t dating, and, like you said, I don’t belong here.” You shrug your shoulders. 
The abyss of endless stars around you slowly fades away as you find yourself slowly waking up from a nightmare you were trapped in. You open your eyes to see many faces peering down at you, all gazing at you with worry. You rub your eyes and slowly sit up with the help of Caelus and March.
“Are you okay? Nanook rushed to us when you weren’t waking up,” March says, sitting beside you.
You nod, still groggy from your sleep. “I’m fine….” you trailed off.
Phantylia’s words continue to echo in your head. You don’t belong here. Nanook doesn’t belong to you. Heck, none of these men belong to you, so why are you upset over what Phantylia said? She’s not wrong— in fact, she’s right. 
Caelus sits on the other side of your bed. “Are you sure you’re okay? You look shaken up,” Caelus says, rubbing the small of your back.
You tried to smile at Caelus, only for it to come out as a grimace. “Yeah, I’m fine, Caelus,” you whisper, looking at the floor of your bedroom.
You can feel their eyes stare holes into your body while you space out. Should you tell them about Phantylia? You haven’t been dragged into that void since the incident, and Phantylia somehow manages to bring you back. Phantylia was able to keep you in that void for quite some time, not allowing you to leave.
How strong is her bond with Nanook? She is infatuated with Nanook, and yet Nanook is (according to Phantylia) enamored with you. What if the feelings Nanook felt toward you were merely temporary? What happens when the feelings are gone? Will Nanook return you back to your world? 
Dan Heng raises his eyebrows at you, crossing his arms over his chest. “Care to tell us why you didn’t wake up when many of us have tried waking you up?” Dan Heng asks.
You press your lips into a thin line. It looks like you’ll have to say what’s preventing you from waking up from a rude awakening. You just know that somewhere, Phantylia is sitting back with her arms crossed over her chest with a smug smile. If only you were the same size as Phantylia so you could give her a piece of your mind, but she has the upper hand in everything. 
“You don’t have to tell us if you’re not comfortable with it, sweetheart,” Mr. Yang reassures you, kneeling before you and giving your knee a comforting squeeze.
You sigh and look down at your hands on your lap. “I realize that I don’t belong here, nor would I ever belong here, no matter how much time has passed,” you whisper.
Dear Aeons. Why are you lying to them about what’s bothering you? Nanook steps forward, his eyebrows furrowed. Nanook looks like he wants to say something. Is he going to tell you he never had feelings for you in the first place and leave for Phantylia? Nanook looks visibly startled.
Nanook lets out a shaky sigh. “Little One, how do you know Phantylia?” Nanook asks, grabbing everyone’s attention.
Oh, fuck. You forgot Nanook can read your mind because you two have this connection with each other. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Is there a way for you to block Nanook from reading any more of your thoughts? This is not good. You’re fucked. Caelus, Dan Heng, March, and Mr. Yang looks at you quizzically while you dig your nails into the palm of your hands. There’s no way out of this now that Nanook got everyone’s attention regarding Phantylia. 
“Did Phantylia do something by any chance? Did you have a dream about her?” March asks.
You hug your knees to your chest and shake your head. “A dream? No. Did she do something to me? Possibly,” you mumble.
You woke up not long ago, and you’re already being interrogated over the woman who’s in love with the Aeon of Destruction. You don’t like the power she holds over your thoughts. Your headspace is occupied by the things she said to you, and you’re certain that Nanook hears it all but doesn’t want to say anything about it because he wants you to say it yourself. 
“Hey, hey, hey! We’re here!” Sampo says, entering your bedroom with more men beside him.
Gepard sighs in relief and walks to you, trying to keep a calm exterior. “Are you alright? We were informed that you weren’t waking up from your slumber, and we all rushed to the Astral Express as soon as we could,” Gepard explains.
You smile at Gepard, squeezing his hands when he slips his hand into yours. From the corner of your eyes, you notice Nanook tensing up at the mere sight of the small public display of affection between you and Gepard. You squeeze Gepard’s hand one more time before releasing his hand.
“You know how Nanook and I communicate with each other through my ‘dreams’ or when I’m unconscious?” You ask, peeking up at the others.
Luka’s eyes widen, and his eyebrows shoot to his hairline. “What?! No! This is news to me!” Luka exclaims, propping his hands on his hips.
Oh, right. You forgot Luka is still unaware of many things and perhaps your place of origin. You make a mental note to catch Luka up to speed with everything once this is over. You just want Phantylia to leave you alone. You have an inkling feeling that this isn’t going to be the last time you encounter her. 
“As you were saying?” Luocha says, leaning against the wall with his arms over his chest.
You let out a long exhale and squeeze your thighs. You don’t know what’s going to happen after you tell them what’s going on regarding Phantylia. Still, you hope it won’t be too serious. 
You then go into detail on what happened while you were unconscious— from being in the same void you encountered Nanook when you first arrived in their universe to Phantylia being the one to tower over you in this dream to Phantylia telling you that you don’t belong to this universe, etc. It was a lot to process, and the more you said it out loud, the more you realized how crazy you sounded.
“Nanook, how can Phantylia get into contact with [Y/N] when the two of them aren’t connected?” Jing Yuan asks, turning to look at the Aeon of Destruction. 
Nanook has been silent the entire time you explained the situation to everyone. Nanook strokes his chin, skimming through the possibilities of Phantylia managing to communicate with you despite never meeting you or having any connections with you. 
You shake your head and chuckle bitterly. “I don’t think Nanook has the answer to your question, Jing Yuan. Besides, Phantylia is correct about a few things,” you mutter, tapping your fingers on your knees.
Blade raises his eyebrows at you. “And what is that exactly?” Blade asks, now standing at the foot of your bed.
“I don’t belong here, and how Nanook doesn’t belong to me. In fact, none of you belong to me, which is understandable since I’m not dating any of you. Because I’ve been taken from my world and thrown into yours, I’m an anomaly. I don’t belong here, nor would I ever belong here,” you explain.
As depressing as it sounds, it’s also a fact. You don’t belong in their universe, and you’re here because Nanook has taken a liking to you. Nanook didn’t want to be separated from you because of the computer monitor. Nanook somehow brought you into their universe because the Aeon of Destruction couldn’t stand being far from you. 
“Little One—”
You stand up abruptly and cross your arms over your chest. “How does Phantylia know about me? How does she know how to communicate with me through my dreams like you did? Did you tell her?” You demand.
Nanook goes silent and frowns. You chuckle bitterly and shake your head, running your hands through your hair. You don’t want to deal with this conversation right now. You need to clear your mind and distance yourself from Nanook. It’s not reasonable, but until you have a full understanding of how Phantylia is able to trap you in your dreams temporarily to speak to you, you don’t want to deal with Nanook.
“Can everyone please leave? I need time and space to clear my mind, and having everyone in here is overwhelming me,” you murmur.
Mr. Yang nods. “Of course. We will be coming by to check up on you and give you food, alright?” Mr. Yang says.
You nod and sit on the edge of your bed, avoiding everyone’s eyes as they gradually trickle out of your bedroom. Nanook is the last one to leave your room. You and Nanook stare at each other, not saying a word. You silently gestured for him to leave your room. Nanook sighs and exits your room. Once the door to your room slides closed, you lay on your bed and close your eyes.
You want to go back to sleep and sleep the frustrations away. Still, you’re worried that Phantylia will reappear in your dreams, holding you hostage and telling you that you don’t belong in this universe. You hate how she’s right, and you have nothing against her for saying that. Sort of. You have decided not to sleep because what if Phantylia reappears in your dreams and repeats the things she said over and over?
If she wants you to return to your world so badly, then you can’t really do what she wants. How are you going to return to your world if Nanook was the one that brought you to this universe? You know Nanook will refuse to return you back to your world. There’s a very slim chance Nanook would do that, but it’s very unlikely.
You hear a knock coming from your bedroom door. You close your eyes and try to ignore the knocking coming from the door, but the longer the person behind the door knocks, the more you start to get irritated. You get off your bed and walk to the door. You slide the door open to see Pom-Pom standing at the entrance of your room.
“Oh, Pom-Pom. What are you doing here?” You ask.
Pom-Pom props his hands on his hips. “I heard my favorite passenger is upset, and I’m here to provide comfort,” Pom-Pom says, waddling into your room.
As much as you wanted to reject Pom-Pom’s offer, you don’t have the heart to do it. You shut the door behind Pom-Pom before returning to your bed. You lay on your bed and hug your second pillow to your chest. Your pillow smells like Nanook. Despite not having an official title with the Aeon of Destruction, it does seem like he’s your boyfriend.
You don’t mind calling Nanook your boyfriend, but you’re aware of the others having feelings for you. Since Nanook is possessive and makes it known that he doesn’t like people going near you— especially those who have romantic feelings for you, they never make a move on you.
“Pom-Pom?” You whisper.
Pom-Pom hops on your bed and sits beside you, letting his feet hang at the edge of your bed. “Yes, [Y/N]?”
You bite the inside of your cheek. You didn’t want to burden the conductor with your plaguing thoughts. But Pom-Pom insisted on comforting you, and you really appreciate it. It would be best if you talk to the others about it, but you can’t get yourself to do it. What if you said the wrong thing, and everything goes downhill from there?
You take a deep breath. “Do you think I belong on the Astral Express?”
Pom-Pom looks at you incredulously. “Of course I do! No matter what background my passengers are from, you’re always welcome to the Astral Express!” says Pom-Pom.
You chuckle and pat Pom-Pom’s head. Now that you think about it, your main issue isn’t feeling jealous over what Nanook and Phantylia have— your problem is whether you truly belong in this universe or not. Everyone has welcomed you with open arms despite being from another universe. 
Pom-Pom frowns and looks at you worriedly. “Did something happen? Who told you that you don’t belong here!? Tell me their names!” Pom-Pom demands, kicking his feet angrily.
“The ‘person’ that said it isn’t on the Astral Express, Pom-Pom. This ‘person’ is like Nanook, but not an Aeon,” you say, running your fingers through your tangled hair.
Pom-Pom huffs angrily and sighs, reaching over to pat your head. You smile at Pom-Pom and lay there in silence. You’re tired, and you want to go back to sleep, but you’re afraid that she will be in your dreams like the last time. Pom-Pom leaves your room fifteen minutes later, leaving you alone in the comfort of your room.
Days go by, and you have yet to speak to anyone on the Astral Express aside from Pom-Pom and Himeko. Nanook is sleeping in his (temporary) room while you remain in yours. Sometimes, you would step out of your room and walk around the Astral Express, but only if the others weren’t on the train aside from Pom-Pom and Himeko. You weren’t ready to talk to them yet. 
You stopped tagging along with them on their trailblazing missions not because you wanted to avoid everyone but because you weren’t sleeping. The last time you slept was when the Phantylia incident happened. Now, you’re going days without sleeping and keeping yourself awake by drinking lots and lots of coffee. 
You’re doing everything you can to avoid falling asleep. You really want to tag along with Nanook, Mr. Yang, Caelus, March, and Dan Heng, but you don’t want them to see you with dark circles under your eyes due to the lack of sleep. Sometimes, you would find yourself falling asleep but would quickly force yourself to stay awake. 
Caelus knocks on your door. “Are you sure you don’t want to go with us? Everyone misses you. I miss you,” Caelus says, pressing his forehead against the door and closing his eyes. “You don’t hate us, do you?”
You shake your head, knowing Caelus won’t see it. “I’m not avoiding any of you, I promise. I’m dealing with reality right now, and it’s a lot to accept,” you reply.
Caelus sighs, turning to look at the others behind him. Dan Heng and Mr. Yang remain silent while March leans against the wall, closing her eyes. There are times when March wakes up in the middle of the night, she hears you moving around your room. March assumes you have issues with sleeping at night because Nanook wasn’t sleeping with you. 
“Hey, [Y/N]. We’re always going to be here if you need someone to talk to. It can be about anything,” Mr. Yang speaks up, walking toward the door of your room. 
March, Caelus, Mr. Yang, and Dan Heng didn’t hear a response from you. Mr. Yang gestures to the others to follow him to the Parlor Car. In your room, you’re knocked out asleep on your bed. You didn’t sleep for a long time. What woke you up from your slumber was your body twitching; it startled you awake. You sit up and bury your face into your hands, having the biggest urge to cry. 
You want to sleep, but you worry that she’s going to be in your dreams again. Trapping you in your dreams and telling you that you don’t belong in this universe repeatedly. You don’t know what else she’s capable of doing after the first time. Quite frankly, you do not want to speak to Phantylia. You lay back down on your bed and stare at the ceiling, eyelids drooping. You’re so tired.
You tried to put up a fight, but you don’t have much fight in you. You managed to stay up for days without sleep, and now you’re exhausted. Maybe it won’t hurt to sleep this time. Maybe she’s not going to show up in your dreams this time. Perhaps you’ll finally be able to sleep in peace without worrying about what Phantylia is saying due to her jealousy. You let sleep overcome you.
You’re in an endless void, floating through space. The stars twinkle around you, and you feel like you’re underwater. It’s peaceful and quiet. No signs of life around you and no Phantylia to disturb your peace. For the first time in days, you feel at peace. The peace did not last long. The same chuckle echoes in the abyss, sending chills down your spine. You fall on your back and groan. You open your eyes, searching around the void, but there are no signs of Phantylia.
You squeeze your eyes shut. “Wake up, wake up, wake up,” you plead, squeezing your hands into tight fists.
A hand reaches out for your wrist, pulling you toward the unknown. You yank your arms back, and the void suddenly disappears, and you’re awake. You stare at your bedroom wall with wide eyes, unable to move. You’re not sure if you’re paralyzed with fear or if you’re having sleep paralysis. You close your eyes, trying to calm your racing heart. You didn’t see her, but you did hear her giggling.
You toss your blanket off your body and walk out of your room. You’re not sure how long you’ve been asleep, but the hallway lights are out. You walk toward the Parlor Car to make coffee for yourself. On your way to the Parlor Car, you bump into March. March looks at you with wide eyes, sighing in relief when she sees you.
“It’s good to see you, [Y/N]! I was worried you were Dan Heng at first!” March says, propping her hands on her hips.
You tilt your head to the side. “It’s good to see you too, March! Uh, may I ask why you were worried that I was Dan Heng?”
March laughs sheepishly and rubs the back of her neck. “You see, Dan Heng said I can’t go to the kitchen for late-night snacks because it would keep me up and make me tired during our trailblazing missions!” March explains.
You nod, chuckling while March grumbles to herself. You and March walk to the kitchen of the Astral Express, not saying anything to each other. You reach for a mug and begin making coffee for yourself while March flips the light on. You squeeze your eyes shut when the lights flood the kitchen and wait for your eyes to adjust to the brightness of the kitchen.
“I think it depends on what you eat as your late-night snacks, March. I’m sure Dan Heng doesn’t mind you getting snacks at night as long as they’re not sweets,” You finally respond to March.
You walk to the coffee maker and begin making coffee. March stops at the fridge and stares at you incredulously. March peeks at the clock on the wall to see it’s still in the middle of the night. March scratches her head, watching you prepare to brew yourself some coffee. 
March clears her throat. “If you don’t mind me asking… Why are you making coffee at a time like this?” March asks, leaning against the refrigerator. 
March narrows her eyes when you don’t respond to her question. You continue to make your coffee with your back facing her direction. March slowly approaches you while you’re occupied. You look at the selection of creamers and toppings sleepily, rubbing your heavy eyelids with your knuckles. You’re exhausted, but you don’t want to sleep. At least not until you know you can sleep soundly without Phantylia disturbing your sleep.
“[Y/N]?” March calls.
You don’t reply.
March reaches forward and grabs your shoulders, turning you around. When March gets a full look at your face, she nearly gasps in horror. You look like you barely slept in days. The bags under your eyes are prominent, and the whites of your eyes are bloodshot. You yawn and rub your eyes before turning back around to continue where you left off.
“I know it’s still early in the morning, but I wanted to make some coffee before going back to my room,” you sigh.
March continues to stare holes into the back of your head. “[Y/N]. You do know that it’s still in the middle of the night, right?” March asks.
You blink and pause what you’re doing. “I can always reheat this coffee when I wake up,” you reply, shrugging.
March ends up abandoning her snacks and watches you from the corner of her eyes, pretending to search the refrigerator for some ‘snacks.’ After your coffee is done brewing, you add some creamer to your coffee and stir the hot liquid with a metal spoon. March peeks from the side of the fridge, watching you take small sips of your freshly made coffee. You look awful. Almost haunting.
“I’m going back to my room, March,” you murmur, walking by the pink-haired girl.
March perks up. “You’re going to bed now, right? No offense, but you look like you haven’t slept a wink,” says March, following after you as you exit the Astral Express’s kitchen.
You hum in response, taking small sips of your coffee. March stops halfway and sighs, watching you disappear into your bedroom and closing the door behind you. So much for getting a snack in the kitchen. Now she has to tell the others about you not getting any sleep at night. Dan Heng, Mr. Yang, and Caelus would probably scold you for not getting enough sleep at night. But how would Nanook react to the news of you not getting enough sleep? He does hear your thoughts, does he not? March returns to her bedroom and collapses on her bed with an empty stomach. Looks like Dan Heng wins for today.
When you return to your room, you continue to drink your coffee while scrolling on your phone. You have never done something like this before. Yes, you’ve pulled all-nighters in the past, but staying up for days without a wink of sleep is new to you. This is going to come back and bite you in the ass all because you did not want to deal with Phantylia popping up in your dreams to tell you that you don’t belong in this universe. Seriously, how did Phantylia manage to communicate with you through your dreams like Nanook?
A small knock coming from the door pulls you from your thoughts. You turn your phone off and get off your bed. It’s still in the middle of the night— who could be knocking on your door at this time? It could be March, but you’re not even sure what she’s up to after you left the kitchen. You slide the door open to see Blade.
You and Blade do a double-take after seeing each other. “What are you doing here in the middle of the night?” You ask.
“Why do you look like you haven’t slept in ages?” Blade asks, pointing at your face. 
You stare at Blade, not saying a word, while he raises an eyebrow at you. You sigh and open the door wider for Blade to enter your room. Blade enters your room, and just when you’re about to close the door, a hand stops you. You look to see the other men standing there, their hair all over the place and still in their pajamas.
“I hope you don’t mind me inviting the others with me. The pink-haired girl informed each of us of your sleeping habits,” Blade says.
March shouts from the hallway, “Pink-haired girl!? Excuse me, I have a name!”
Blade dismisses March’s exclamation and closes the door once the others step into your room. You sip your coffee before setting the mug on your nightstand. Mr. Yang sighs and sits on the stool in front of your vanity while Luocha sits at the foot of your bed.
“[Y/N], sweetheart, be honest with us. How long has it been since you’ve gotten sleep?” Luocha asks, looking at you worriedly.
You sigh and lay on your bed, curling up in a fetal position. “Since the Phantylia incident, so, a few days now?” You reply with uncertainty.
Luka nods, gesturing to Nanook in the corner of your room. “Trouble in paradise with the Aeon of Destruction?” Luka boldly asks, ignoring the looks the others are giving him.
You purse your lips before making the so-so gesture. You and Nanook haven’t spoken in days since that incident, but then again, you haven’t really talked to the others since then. Plus, the whole Phantylia being jealous and making you slightly— was it slightly?— jealous, you got over that incident. You mainly don’t appreciate Phantylia strutting into your dreams just to tell you that you don’t belong in this universe and that Nanook doesn’t belong to you.
Phantylia isn’t wrong about Nanook not belonging to you, considering there’s no label between you two (or at least you don’t think there is one). You don’t need to be reminded repeatedly that you don’t belong to this universe. Luka is correct about there being trouble in paradise, but the ‘paradise’ isn’t whatever it is that’s going on between you and Nanook. 
“Not really. I got over whatever happened a few days ago. The thing that bothers me the most is how Phantylia—” You sigh and run your hands through your hair. “I feel like I’m repeating myself,” you grumble.
You sit up and reach for your coffee mug, but Jing Yuan takes the cup away from you, shaking his head with disapproval. You huff and sit up against the headboard of your bed. 
Jing Yuan clears his throat. “If you’re worried about Phantylia appearing in your dreams while you’re sleeping, we can sleep in here with you just to be safe,” Jing Yuan offers.
“I don’t think we need to worry about Phantylia appearing in [Y/N]’s dreams. Nanook informed me that he dealt with Phantylia and told her not to bother any of us,” Gepard interjects, gesturing to Nanook.
You glance at Nanook, and the two of you make eye contact. Nanook nods and walks over to your bed while you sigh, still hesitant about sleeping even though you desperately need it. Even if Nanook handled the situation, then what was the dream you had before getting up to get coffee? 
“Come on, Gumdrop! If the big scary lady is not the issue, then what’s wrong? We’re here to listen, you know?” Sampo says, plopping beside you.
It took everything in you to tell them what Phantylia said to you. You told them everything. Yes, you already said it days ago, but it still bothers you. If you don’t belong in this universe, then you might as well return to your world, right? Fuck. You really are repeating everything that happened a few days ago. The lack of sleep is getting to you, isn’t it?
You sigh in defeat. “I’m just repeating myself over and over. It’s tiring, but I can’t help it. How do I let go of something when it’s true?”
Dan Heng sighs, closing his eyes. “It’s okay if what Phantylia said bothers you, no matter how long ago it happened. What Phantylia said doesn’t matter. We don’t care if you’re from another universe and if Nanook brought you here. You’re with us now, and that’s all that matters. You may be from another universe, another reality, or whatever it is. Still, you will always belong here with us on the Astral Express,” Dan Heng says.
You sigh, hug the pillow to your chest, and rest your chin on the pillow. “I can’t help but still be bothered by what she said, though,” you mumble. “I’m also exhausted and irritated.”
Nanook goes to sit beside you, but Blade stops him. Blade looks over his shoulders and glares at Nanook before sitting beside you, pulling you close to him and stroking your hair. You blink and tense up in Blade’s arms. It’s not like you’re against Blade hugging you; you didn’t expect Blade to do that out of nowhere. But you’re not against it, and it’s nice to have someone other than Nanook hold you. 
“Get some rest. We’ll be here when you wake up,” Blade mutters,  stroking your hair.
You peek at the others; some are pouting (Sampo and Nanook) that they can’t hold you because Blade got to you first. You snort and close your eyes, relaxing in Blade’s arms. 
“You guys can trade off on who gets to hold me while I nap. It’s still in the middle of the night, so I expect every person to sleep,” you mutter.
You wrap your arms around Blade’s waist and close your eyes while the red-eyed man lays beside you, letting you lay your head on his biceps. Nanook sighs and lays on the other side of your bed, ignoring the burning feeling deep down. At least Nanook dealt with Phantylia. You don’t have to worry about Phantylia for a while (or forever).
Note: Have you ever been so tired that you unintentionally repeated what you said? That's what happened to the reader— so sleep-deprived that they repeat the same things without even realizing it until it happened. Maybe after this upcoming week's fanfics, I'm going to take a break or something. My brain is fried, and I have school starting toward the end of September, and I need to be mentally prepared for stress over homework. But of course, I haven't fully decided on that yet. When the time comes, I'll let you all know! I wish there was a way to update AO3 readers without having to make a random chapter to talk about a break 🥹 Anyway, to my new and/or returning readers, please keep in mind that I ONLY post on my Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and my AO3 (Aaliah_exo)! Nowhere else except Tumblr and AO3!
Taglist for the HSR one-shot series: @ashwasherelol, @mompt2, @elegantnightblaze, @lunavixia, @jadedist, @reversearrowhead, @pinksaiyans, @n8mareee, @aurelia-xyt, @lilliansstuff, @starrry-angel, @kaoyamamegami, @kodzuvk, @for3very0urs, @a-cosmicdawn, @g3n0dtt, @theblades, @wntrsblvd, @raaawwwr, @immahuman, @irisxiel, @siaracarroll, @crazydreamcat, @sen-nes, @sagekun, @orichalcumthief, @dyingsweetmackerel, @rosiesareblue, @ichikanu, @undecidingfate, @asoulsreverie, @angelmican, @misdollface, @4-34-am, @sxftiebee, @hispasian-otaku, @the-dumber-scaramouche, @vox34, @tsukkikeisimp, @inapileofbooke
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starfinss · 8 months
Note
Thanks for answering my ask!😊 i do have request/suggestion involving Cyno haha, what about a 🍋 scenario where Cyno, Al Haitham and a character of your choice get accidentally hard from having their S/O innocently sit on their lap? They try to hide it but they fail.. 🙈 if that would be alright with you!
This has been in my inbox for literal months, I am SO sorry.
I’ve been planning a trip abroad, plus I’ve had no ideas for this prompt until like an hour ago when I was playing Genshin and thinking of story ideas. Anyway, sure, I’ll write that. The character of my choice will be Lyney, because I’m working on his build right now and I’ve been sort of drafting a fic for him while I’m writing the Jing Yuan fic.
As always, let me know if any of you want full fics from this.
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—𝘚𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘓𝘢𝘱𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘜𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴.
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— 𝘈𝘭𝘩𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘮
— Unless you’re at home together, I doubt Alhaitham would let you sit on his lap for this very reason.
— Alhaitham is a man who lives my the rules of logic, and while I won’t say he hasn’t fucked you on his desk at work, he’d call those ‘momentary lapses in judgement.’
— Not that he didn’t enjoy them, though.
— He’s the type who likes to do things where the chances of being caught are low. He likes to draw things out, doing everything he can to make you feel good. And so, he prefers to engage in activity like this in the comfort of your bedroom.
— So, in instances like this, if you were to convince him to let you sit in his lap while you waited for him to finish up his work after everyone was home for the night, he might give in, just a little bit.
— Really, you just wanted to be close to him, maybe close your eyes for a while. He loves closeness as much as the next person, being near to the one you love is always nice.
— The risk of being seen in such a compromising position is low, which is a plus, and he gets to feel your warmth against his body as he finishes what he has to do for the day.
— But then you shift forward, nuzzling closer, and your body rubs against his just right, and oh Archons, he doesn’t have time for this.
— The way your body settles so perfectly over him makes his mind scatter to anything and everything besides work. The friction as you rearrange yourself against him is enough to make him feel like he’s going crazy.
— He hides it well, though. Alhaitham is good at keeping a blank face.
— As casually as he can, he shifts you back so you’re away from his growing erection, because he has to finish this paperwork before he leaves, and you’re so maddeningly distracting.
— But that doesn’t go unnoticed. You look up at him quizzically, and when you’re met with a blank stare, you shift back to where you were most comfortable, just to see his reaction.
— He sets his jaw, breath catching as he stiffens, unable to hide the way his body reacts to yours as you realize why he moved you away.
“Did I make you hard?” You whisper, a little surprised, “I didn’t even do anything.”
A quiet scoff as he looks at you fully, his self-restraint beginning to fray. Damn you for always having this effect on him.
“It’s kind of hard not to with you practically grinding against me.”
A sly smile overtakes your face, the innocent desire to hold him replaced with something much more lascivious.
“Would you like some help with that, Mister Acting Grand Sage?”
— Lips collide, and you end up bent over the desk as he holds you in place by your hips, the office filled with the sound of skin on skin and his low, pleasured groans as he fucks you, deep and hard, just the way he knows you like it.
— Needless to say, that paperwork didn’t end up getting done that night.
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— 𝘊𝘺𝘯𝘰
— Like Alhaitham, I don’t think Cyno would really allow such a thing unless the two of you were alone in your own home.
— He doesn’t like breaking rules or doing things that could be seen as unbecoming, especially not in public.
— It’s because of the fact that he most likely wouldn’t engage in that sort of thing in public that I also doubt he’d try and hide it.
— In his eyes, things tend to be rather black and white, and he separates your sex life together from everyday life. He associates you sitting in his lap with other more improper thoughts that he shouldn’t be distracted by when he’s working or out of the house.
— It doesn’t change just how much he loves you, and even in daily life he expresses that in other ways.
— This is getting long winded and stupid but I want this to be interesting and not just “he’s reading a book and you’re in his lap,” which I could very easily do.
— I sure am a writer. Also this idea is stupid, but it’s also fun. I will probably write a full fic for it.
— But, anyway, the point I was making is, if you were to accidentally end up in his lap, then because of that association between you being that close and sexual activity, he might end up getting hard rather easily.
— While tracking a fugitive scholar together, the two of you end up being forced to fight when a group of Eremites come through, and the ensuing scuffle catches the attention of a herd of Sumpter Beasts.
— You and Cyno are confined into a small hiding space, and because of the limited amount of room, you’re forced to straddle him.
— You, of course, are wriggling around, trying to get comfortable in the awkward position, and it’s when you finally settle down onto his lap and he catches you by the waist to keep you from fully resting against him that you realize what has happened.
— He’s not meeting your eyes, simply looking out through the gaps in the rocks to watch the herd of beasts go by, but you can see his jaw tighten when you shift forward and out of his grip. When you move your hips down, a hand shoots out to still you with a grip that is nearly bruising.
“Stay still.”
— You’re a little surprised, he’s usually able to keep that sort of thing under control fairly well, but in retrospect, you can’t really blame him with all the moving around you were doing.
“Sorry,” you croak, suddenly mortified, “I didn’t mean to.”
“I know you didn’t mean to,” he says, “my body simply responded to the stimulation. It is always a possibility in such close quarters. Just stay still, please.”
— The rocks are digging into your knees, and despite his warning, you still try and shift for some relief, as slowly as you can, but he’s getting harder, and you can feel his hands scrambling for a grip on your hips and waist, and when he looks at you, the glint in his eyes is equal parts pleading and haggard.
— Slowly, teasingly, you roll your hips, and his head falls back against the wall of rocks behind it, eyes fluttering closed as you grind against him, the way he’s holding you so flush against him making the friction ever better.
“We shouldn’t,” he says, though his own protest sounds unconvincing as his voice drops several octaves lower, rough with lust, and especially so when his hips rise to press you even closer.
“Then why aren’t you stopping me?” You ask, wanting so badly to kiss him, and instead of answering you, he catches the back of your head, crushing your mouth against his.
— The buttons of your shirt are undone, his mouth is on your breasts as you fumble for the front of his shorts, struggling to get your own off, and he simply moves your panties aside after you’ve wrestled out of your clothing before yanking you down, stuffing you full of his thick cock.
— Your cries of pleasure are lost among the hoof beats of the Sumpter Beasts on the path above, and you share heated breath as you ride him, his hand on your waist to guide you along the length of his cock.
— His head dips down to watch where he disappears inside of you, and you feel his grip tighten on your body, feel him twitch inside of you, making you whimper.
— He’s sure to make you cum first, his thumb on your clit, muttering sweet filth into your skin as you come undone above him.
— You end up in that ravine longer than you excepted, if you couldn’t tell.
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— 𝘓𝘺𝘯𝘦𝘺
— Unlike the two others, I don’t think Lyney would be as private.
— A conversation with my good friend Paprika made me realize that Lyney is probably the type of guy who goes for what he wants, and if he was interested in someone, he’d likely just show that interest without beating around the bush.
— So I wouldn’t be surprised if he invited his s/o to sit on his lap, just casually, no matter where they were.
— It’s not even sexual, really, he just likes being close to the ones he loves, and you’re no exception. He loves holding you.
— He’s very romantic, too, I’d say. He knows just what to say to get you all weak in the knees. He loves you so much. The poor guy doesn’t have many people in his life who have shown him the love that you have, and he absolutely cherishes you.
— He’d even buy out all the seats in one of the upper boxes of the Opera Epiclese, just to have you all to himself, able to hold you close and tell you just how much he adores you in the dark of the grand auditorium.
— But he’s only human, and if you were to move just right while sitting in his lap, he’s going to have a reaction.
A soft chuckle tickled your ear in the silence, and you felt Lyney’s hands on your waist, gently holding you in place.
“Stay still, please, darling.”
— He wouldn’t really try and hide it, it’s kind of hard to when you’re right there.
— He’d bite back a gasp as you shift again, almost teasing him, shooting you a warning look.
“Can I help with that?”
A soft laugh, slightly strained. “And how would you do that?”
You pressed a kiss to the curve of his jaw. “Can I show you?”
He kisses your forehead. “As long as it’s quiet. We wouldn’t want to disturb the other patrons, would we?”
— You slip down from his lap and to the floor, where you kneel, between his knees. He’s seated in the farthest chair in the box, well hidden from sight if anyone were to look his way. You wouldn’t even be visible from that vantage point.
— He realizes what you’re doing and shifts his legs farther apart to accommodate you, and when you palm him through his slacks, you get the pleasure of watching the way his jaw tightens, breath drawn in sharply through his nose.
— You make short work of his belt and zipper, and he shifts his hips to let you tug his underwear down just enough to free his dick.
— He curses quietly when you wrap your hand around him, and when you begin to slowly stroke, his head tips back against the chair.
— When your mouth presses against his tip, you feel one gloved palm against the back of your head, urging you forward, lacing into your hair when you take him into your mouth.
— You feel him twitch against the roof of your mouth as you begin to bob your head, slow and steady, almost teasing, and you can hear him gasp softly above you, see him clamp one hand over his mouth as you watch him through your lashes.
— His grip tightens on your hair, groans muffled by the hand over his mouth, and you squeeze your thighs together, letting yourself moan around him, low and soft, and that’s enough to make his hips buck against your mouth. You know you’ll pay for that when you got home.
— You speed up, and his hand fists into your hair, desperate for any kind of purchase at all, and you hardly mind, especially when it leads to him shifting forward in his seat, forcing you to take more of him, gently guiding you back, only to fill your mouth once more.
— You loosen your throat and let him take control, using your mouth as he pleases, simply content with watching the way his face twists in pleasure, teeth digging into his knuckles as he tries desperately to stay quiet, and you can tell he’s close from the way he’s leaking into your mouth, his thighs shaking, grip growing borderline painful.
— He cums hard, gushing down your throat, and it’s a wonder he stays quiet during his climax, the effort of it all clearly taking a toll on him as you watch involuntary frustrated tears bead at the corner of his eyes and catch in his pale lashes.
— You pull off as he softens, licking your lips and making a show of swallowing, something he watches with heavy-lidded, hungry eyes.
— Cheekily, you settle back into the seat with him after he tucks himself away again, careful to avoid bumping against him.
— Yeah, you didn’t end up getting much sleep after you got home that night.
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The fact that this took as long as it did haunts me and I am so sorry.
ALSO I GET TO SEE PAPRIKA IN PERSON THIS FALL YAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!! I’m so excited, and I will probably cry.
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jessybarnes · 9 months
Text
Bunker Nights
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Rating: 18+ Only! Minors DNI!
Tags: Angst, mentions of past physical and emotional abuse, nightmares, panic attacks, eventual fluffy smut, and protective!Dean
Betas: @winecatsandpizza
Word Count: 4,667
Fic Aesthetic: Yours Truly
A/N: This is a repost from my old Tumblr account. I am in the process of transferring all of my fics over to this one. I hope you enjoy :)
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One year.
It had been exactly one year since you ended it with Tyler and you still suffered from the aftershocks of the abuse. Even though your body and mind weren't subject to his fists or harsh words, you still felt worthless. Every day the memories of the torture you went through filled your mind.
The moment you met Sam and Dean in the shitty hole-in-the-wall bar, your personalities clicked. You needed a distraction and somewhere to live, and they needed help in their line of work. So when they offered to let you stay and help them hunt you agreed without hesitation. 
Finally, things seemed to be looking up for you, or so you thought. Two weeks after moving into the Bunker, the nightmares started.
These weren't just any run-of-the-mill bad dreams either. No, in these dreams, Tyler was torturing and trying to kill you. The vividness left you screaming and crying in your sleep almost nightly. The nightmares plagued your mind every time you went to sleep.
Neither of the brothers said anything to you about it, so you tried to pretend everything was fine. It was one of the hardest things you've had to do if you were being honest with yourself. The physical training alone sometimes brought on a panic attack. Even though you knew Sam and Dean weren't trying to harm you, your mind was starting to become your biggest enemy. 
You could tell they wanted to ask you about it, but they also knew that you weren’t one to talk about your past. The only thing you told them was that you and Tyler had a rough breakup. The thought made you laugh. Calling it a rough breakup was putting it very mildly. 
The day before your first hunt went surprisingly well. You went the entire day without any panic attacks or a questioning glance from either of the Winchesters. Even though you couldn’t remember the last time you slept, it didn’t stop you from humming in the kitchen while you cooked everyone dinner. Not to mention, the copious amounts of makeup you used to make yourself look less like a zombie. You made a mental note to get some more of the coverup you hid your dark circles with. 
Sam rounded the corner as you filled everyone’s plates, one of his eyebrows rising quizzically. 
“You’re extra happy tonight, Y/N.” 
You shrugged and continued to hum as Dean joined you both at the table. 
“Yeah, what’s gotten into you? You win the lotto or somethin’?”
You gave them both your signature eyeroll and took a pull of your beer. 
“What? I can’t be in a good mood now?”
Sam cleared his throat and looked over at his brother before staring back at you, concern evident in his eyes. 
“Of course you can, Y/N. Dean and I …  well, we’ve noticed that you’ve been having nightmares.”
Your eyes narrowed to thin slits. If this was their attempt to keep you from going on tomorrow’s hunt, then they had better think again. 
“I’m. Fine."
You enunciated your words, making sure to look at both of them sternly. Sam scoffed and set his drink down.
“I don’t call it fine when you wake up almost every night screaming, Y/N”
All you wanted was one day, one day where you could just forget about the grim night that awaited you.
“They’re just dreams, and I’m going tomorrow no matter what. I’ve been training for this day for months, and a stupid nightmare isn’t going to bench me.”
The hostility in your voice caught them off guard, and you suddenly weren’t hungry anymore. You pushed the contents of your plate around with your fork, the awkward silence becoming more deafening by the second. Dean was the first to break it, his soothing tone of voice practically making you sick to your stomach. You knew they wanted you to stay home, and it pissed you off even more that your brain somewhat agreed with them. 
“Look, Y/N, we just wa-”
You slammed your fists on the table cutting him off mid-sentence. 
“ENOUGH! I’m not here to be your charity case! I came here to hunt, not for you to feel sorry for me!”
Before either of them could say anything you had stormed down the hallway to your room. Slamming the door for good measure, you finally let yourself unleash the angry tears you’d held back. You knew they were only trying to help, but being pitied didn’t sit with you well. You’d grown accustomed to it after being with Tyler for so many years, and it made you feel like everyone was hypersensitive to your feelings. 
Once the tears stopped, you were left exhausted and feeling numb. Falling asleep right after an outburst would definitely bring on a nightmare, so you opted for a long hot shower instead. The moment the water cascaded over your skin you felt the stiffness in your muscles leave your body. You spent extra time massaging your scalp and even used your lavender soothing body wash to help calm your nerves. 
Finally, in your pajamas, you slid beneath your covers and sighed deeply. Couldn’t you just have one day where you didn’t have someone worrying about you? Deciding not to dwell on it any longer, you turned the bedside light off and let yourself fall asleep. 
Fear, raw fear coursed through your body as you ran. You’d just told Tyler you wanted to see other people and he’d tried to force himself on you so you’d stay. He pinned you against the wall, his breath reeked of stale beer as he kissed down your neck. The feeling of his lips made you shiver with disgust. When he reached for the hem of your shirt, you raised your knee hard and fast hitting him right where it counted. 
Tyler yelled in pain as you broke free, running as fast as you could to the door. 
“Ow, FUCK! God Dammit, Y/N! Come back here you fucking bitch!”
Cold air hit your face as you ran barefoot into the woods behind your home. Branches hit your exposed skin leaving little cuts in their wake. You could hear Tyler shouting after you as you found refuge behind a big tree trunk. Your chest heaved and you shivered as you tried to stay still and quiet. 
Tyler’s footfalls and yelling became louder by the second, and you were sure he could hear the thundering of your heart. Just as you thought you were in the clear, strong arms boxed you in, the bark of the tree cut into your back as Tyler stared menacingly down at you. 
“There you are… you pathetic little slut. You shouldn’t have done this, Y/N. You should have just come home like the good little bitch you are and kept that pretty, little mouth shut.”
His fingers grazed your cheek briefly before his mouth was on your own, the taste of his tongue made you almost vomit. 
“Now, we could have done it back at the house, but seeing as how you made a scene, I think I’ll just take you right here.”
You tried to push, shove, kick, anything to get him off you, but it was of no use. He began to forcefully rid you of your clothes, and all you could do was scream. Scream for anyone to help you.
“Stop! Please, Tyler!”
Sobs racked your body as he pawed roughly at your skin. You could feel him now, shaking you, calling your name.
“No! Just leave me alone!”
You bolted upright in your bed, a cool sheen of sweat covered your skin and the sheets. Dean knelt in front of you, concern etched in his features. 
“Y/N! It’s okay! It’s me… it’s Dean.”
You blinked a few times before covering your face with your hands, tears of relief streaming down your cheeks. 
“D-Dean… I’m… I’m s-sorry for waking you up. I… It was just another d-dream.”
You tried to sound confident between your sobs, but you knew he wouldn’t buy it. Hell, even you knew how pathetic you sounded. Ever so slowly Dean sat on the foot of your bed, his hand coming to rest gently on your knee. You couldn’t see his face, but you knew he was looking at you with worry in his eyes. 
“C’mon now, Y/N. Don’t bullshit me. You and I both know that this is past the point of being 'just dreams'. I want to help you, but you’re going to have to work with me here.”
Using the back of your hands to wipe the loose tears away, you finally got the courage to look at him. His eyes were soft, kind even. The lopsided smile he gave you was the moment you finally let your walls down. Dean was here to help you, not judge you. 
“O-Okay… so umm… what do we do now? How do I stop dreaming of these… these horrible things?”
Dean started to move his thumb across your kneecap. In any other situation you’d be in a fit of laughter, but at a time like this, it was soothing. 
“Do you trust me?”
Those four words made you swallow thickly. Trust wasn’t something you took lightly, and Dean knew that. Sam understood this too, but Dean was different. He could count on one hand the people he had full trust in.
“Yes, of course, I trust you, Dean. Believe me, I want these nightmares to stop just as much as you do if not more.”
He stood and held his hand out to you. Your eyebrows knit in confusion, but you took it anyway and let him lead you to his room. The Bunker was eerily quiet at night, but you knew you were safe. You stood at the threshold, watching him as he padded across the floor to his bed. Your cheeks flushed as he rid himself of his t-shirt, leaving him only in his low-hanging grey sweats. You never let yourself think about Sam or Dean this way before, but you weren’t a prude. Every woman who came in contact with them knew how attractive they were. 
Dean cleared his throat bringing you back to reality.
“You comin’ sweetheart? I don’t bite...much.”
He winked, and you knew he was trying to lighten the mood, but who were you kidding? You couldn’t share a bed with Dean. That would make things weird, and that’s the last thing you wanted to do. Nightmares or not, you weren’t going to jeopardize your friendship. 
“Dean...I-I don’t think I can do this… I’m pretty worn out from crying so let’s just say we forget about this night and I’ll go back to my own bed… I’m sorry for being a burden. I’ll just.. I’m gonna go…”
You turned to leave, but not before Dean caught your arm. 
“Whoa whoa slow down, Y/N. What’s wrong? Is it because I took my shirt off? ‘Cause I can put it back on. I’m just used to sleeping without it on is all.”
You sighed and shook your head. 
“No, it-It’s not that. I just… I don’t want this to ruin our friendship ya know? I don’t want things to get weird or anything.”
Dean shook his head and chuckled. 
“So, don’t let it get weird.”
His look went back to firm before he continued. 
“Y/N, be honest with me. How long has it been since you slept, and I mean really slept?”
Your eyes went to your feet, your toe rubbing across a rough spot on the old floor. 
“I umm… I haven’t slept in four days…”
A flash of concern laced his features as he pulled you back into his room. 
“C’mon, sweetheart.”
He pulled back his covers and got under them before patting the other side of the mattress invitingly. 
“Come here, Y/N. You need sleep just as much as I do. I promise I won’t try anything with you. I mean, I’m a cuddler so, I might do that, but nothing else, I swear.”
You lowered your head in defeat and crossed the room before climbing into bed next to him. He carefully wrapped his arm around your waist, feeling you tense a little, before relaxing. Neither of you talked, but there really wasn’t any need to. You already felt more at ease in Dean’s arms. The smell of his shampoo and pheromones calmed you. Mere minutes later, his breathing evened out, and his light snoring filled your ears. Moments later, you were asleep. 
It became a routine that none of you spoke about. Every night, you would get ready for bed in your room and slip into Dean’s, silently climbing into bed beside him. True to his word, he was a cuddler but instead of the apprehension you’d expected at his touch, you only felt warmth and safety.
He was never inappropriate either. His hands stayed firmly in the safe zones, holding you around your middle if you decided that spooning was the position for you; his lower half was always carefully angled away when you woke up. If you slept curled into his side, he kept his hand on your shoulder or waist, never anywhere else.
The nightmares weren’t dispelled so easily. But being with Dean, they were normally stopped before they were over - he was a naturally light sleeper and the slightest twitch in your slumber had him waking you with gentle reassuring murmurs.
It was three weeks before your first night with no memories assaulting you. You woke with your face against Dean’s bare chest - you’d fallen asleep there the night before. His skin was warm under your cheek and you sighed, closing your eyes and allowing the haze of sleep to keep you still for a little longer.
“You slept well,” he muttered without opening his eyes and you smiled.
“No nightmares,” you whispered.
“Good.” Dean yawned, stretching his arms up. “I think I slept pretty well too.”
The covers slipped down with his movement and you couldn’t help it; your eyes went south to the straining erection that was fighting against the elastic of his pajama pants.
His hand wasn’t fast enough to snatch the covers back up and when you raised your head to look at him, his face was beet red.
“Sorry,” he mumbled, “s’morning and everything… y’know.”
“It’s okay,” you assured him, patting his chest.
“It’s not,” Dean grunted, clutching the covers over his lap, “you didn’t want this to get weird.”
“You having a…” you swallowed, unsure how to phrase it, “an erection, isn’t weird. It’s perfectly natural.” With a shrug, you slid your eyes away from his, feeling your cheeks heat up. “I’d say it’s a compliment.”
He blinked, processing what you’d said before his mouth set in a thin smile. “Can’t help what happens when I sleep next to a beautiful woman.”
You were sure your face was about to burst into flames and you giggled. “Now you’re making it weird.”
Dean smirked - not one of those sarcastic expressions, more playful, devilish. The way you expected he’d look at a woman he wanted to -
“Besides,” you added hurriedly, shifting a little way away from him, “I’m not your type.”
“Who says?” he challenged and you pulled back, frowning.
Dean moved, pushing himself up with his arm. “You say you don’t wanna ruin our friendship but I can’t keep spending the night with you warm next to me and pretending I’m not craving you in every way possible.”
His declaration left you speechless - what were you supposed to even say to that?
Thank you?
Dean chuckled, leaning in a little closer. “Can I kiss you?” he whispered and you were struck by the thought that no man should ever look that pretty when asking that question. With scruffy bed hair and sleep lines on his face, Dean managed to look like he’d fallen out of a GQ photoshoot.
Your reply, when you finally forced it out, was barely a squeak.
His lips were soft when they pressed against yours but you couldn’t relax. Your entire body was stiff with trepidation; you felt hot and cold all at once and it took only seconds for Dean to notice your tense posture.
Breaking away, he cupped your cheek, dragging his thumb down to rest on your chin, making your eyes meet his.
“Talk to me,” he urged softly.
The temptation to shut off, to not tell him anything, warred with the need to spill your illogical shame for what had happened. You knew Dean would never blame you but seeing the pity in his eyes would be unbearable.
But he deserved to know what he’d been protecting you from. At least, in part.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve,” you took a shuddering breath, dropping your chin away from his hand, “since I’ve been with anyone. And the last time wasn’t…” Your eyes closed and you tried to forget the rough touch on your skin.
Dean’s hand moved, resting on your hip and the warmth of his touch seeped into you, forcing you to look at him again, letting his gentle touch replace the horror from before.
“You know I wouldn’t hurt you,” he coaxed, smiling softly. “I could never hurt you.”
What you feared most was nowhere to be found in his face. His sincere green gaze focused on you, filled with nothing but lust and affection.
You moved closer, startling him with a chaste kiss, your little moan swept away by his hum of appreciation and when he tugged you closer, you moved with him easily, losing yourself in the warmth of his skin.
Dean didn’t push, letting you set the pace and you were content with kissing, feeling his hands roam your body. You licked into his mouth, breaking only for air; you weren’t paying much attention to the way you pinned him back onto the bed, straddling his lap so you could kiss him and run your hands over his solid chest and stomach.
He laughed, arching when your fingers caught a ticklish spot, which only prompted you to do it again.
“Quit it,” he chuckled, grabbing at your hands but keeping his touch light.
Dragging your right hand to his lips, you sucked in a breath as he kissed each fingertip, his eyes locked on yours the entire time.
He continued down over the palm of your hand, tracing the throb of your heartbeat to your wrist. By the time his soft lips reached the inside of your elbow, you were practically mush - before he could continue, you used your free hand to cup his face.
“Later,” you promised.
Dean’s eyes sparkled as you rolled your hips, reminding him of the erection straining at his pants. “Fuck,” he groaned, letting his head fall back, “don’t do that.”
“Why?”
The tone of your voice had him narrowing his eyes at you. “Because if you do, I might not be able to help myself.”
“What if I don’t want you to?”
Dean pushed himself up onto one hand, abruptly enough that you squeaked and giggled, smiling when he used the other hand to cup the back of your neck and draw you in for a deep kiss.
“Do you want me as much as I want you, princess?”
You nodded, feeling the heat in your cheeks rise, his nose squished against yours.
“You know you can tell me to stop at any time, right?”
“I know,” you whispered, initiating another kiss, dragging your tongue over his.
Shifting his weight so his back was straight, Dean’s hands landed on your hips, grinding you down harder against his cock. His fingers trailed up underneath the thin tank top you’d worn to bed; he groaned when his thumbs brushed the underside of your bare breasts.
You lifted your arms, letting him pull the top up over your head, giving him full access to your breasts and Dean leaned in, brushing his nose across the top of one.
“You’ve got no idea how beautiful you are,” he murmured and you smiled, folding your hands around the back of his head as he started to worship your tits with his tongue.
His cock was twitching against your core and Dean grunted, pushing one hand underneath the covers to shove his pants down.
“Sorry, it’s getting a little uncomfortable down there,” he joked, resuming his attention to your nipples and you gasped when his teeth grazed one solid peak teasingly.
The sudden desire to feel his skin on yours was a full-body craving; you shifted and pushed at your shorts, managing to drag them down without dislodging him.
The sound Dean made when you were finally perched nude in his lap was only amplified when you pushed him back, using your feet to shove the covers down. His cock was warm and throbbing against your bare slit and you whimpered, grinding against him and he broke away from your breast, groaning loudly.
“Fuck, Y/N -”
“Sssh,” you ordered, sliding down his body until you were straddling his thighs, wrapping one hand around his shaft before you could stop and think about it.
Dean’s chin tilted up and the veins on his neck popped with the strained angle of his neck, a low moan accompanying the bob of his Adam’s apple when you licked the tip of his cock.
He kept his hands at his sides, clenching them in the sheets, giving you all the room you needed. It wasn’t something you had an entirety of experience in but Dean seemed happy enough to let you explore, finding the sensitive spots at the base of his length. When you cupped his balls with your other hand and fondled them gently, Dean emitted a noise of pure lust and warmth swelled in your core in response.
Stroking him slowly, you watched a bead of precum seeping from his slit; the urge to taste it was more than you could ignore. The salty tang was worth the way Dean’s entire body twitched and he looked down at you, tucking his chin into his chest.
“You know there are limits to torture, right?” he muttered, raising an eyebrow and you giggled, continuing to stroke him as he moaned under his breath. “Jeez, Y/N, you’re gonna… fuck…”
“You’ve got a dirty mouth,” you chided, your gaze fixed on the way his cock fit in your hand. Your fingers didn’t quite touch either side, not until you reached the slightly flared head and you suddenly wanted to know what it felt like to have him buried inside you.
The thought was enough to provoke a sudden rush of wetness between your thighs and Dean groaned as you rutted against him, barely acknowledging your own movement. 
A tiny voice in the back of your head stilled your movements, doubt settling in the pit of your belly. Shouldn’t you be frightened of this? After… after him, there hadn’t been anyone and this felt like something that should be shaking you to the core.
But all you could feel was pure adrenaline and desire pumping through your veins; everything was focused on the way Dean felt underneath you, the warm weight of his cock as you stroked him, and the sounds of pleasure he was making.
“Dean,” you whispered, meeting his eyes, “I wanna fuck you.”
He muttered a curse, biting his bottom lip when you released his cock and crawled further up his body. There was no objection - Dean continued to let you set the pace. You lifted yourself, slipping two fingers between your thighs, sinking them into your body.
“Y/N…” Dean muttered, covering your hand with his own, “let me.”
You nodded, letting him take over, whining when he pushed a single digit into you. Just one of his fingers felt bigger than your two, more calloused and filling. He pumped them a few times, smirking when you closed your eyes and tilted your head back, enjoying his slow touch.
All too soon, you grew impatient for more but before Dean could add a second finger, you tugged on his wrist. “Want you,” you pouted, leaning over to kiss away any protest he could make. Lifting your hips, you pinned his hands beside his head, smiling against his lips. “Stay.”
Dean obeyed, groaning when you slipped one hand down to grasp him again, lining his tip up with your soaked entrance. Lowering down onto him, you whined, lifting again when your body struggled to accept the intrusion. With a few more thrusts, you had him halfway inside and his body was shaking with the effort of holding back.
Lifting up once more, you pushed down, taking him to the hilt. The shock of being so full made you yelp and Dean’s hands were on your hips, holding you steady so you could adjust.
“Gah,” you moaned, resting against his chest, “you’re… fuck.”
“Now who has a dirty mouth?” Dean teased and you pulled back, smiling. “Want me to put my hands back?”
You nodded, waiting for him to return his hands to the pillow before sliding your fingers up to lace them with his.
When you started to move, rocking gently on him, Dean closed his eyes, a low rumble in his chest letting you know that it felt good. The way he reacted made you a little bolder and you lifted yourself, letting him withdraw a few inches before taking him to the hilt again. 
“Y/N…”
“What?” you asked, worried you’d done something wrong with the way he moaned your name.
His cheeks were a little red when he answered. “I’m close and you haven’t -”
“Oh,” you blinked, ceasing your movements, unsure what to do, “do you want me to stop?”
“God, no,” Dean chuckled. “I just wanna make sure you cum too.” The way he said it, his low throaty voice almost catching on the words, made you shudder and clench around him. “Sit up straight,” he instructed - you obeyed, a little puzzled until you felt how much deeper it let him be.
You moaned, circling your hips as Dean’s jaw clenched. Your lips parted in a little “o” when he responded with a slight thrust, one hand untangling from yours to hover over your mound, his thumb settling just above where his cock was inside you.
“That okay?” he asked and you nodded, squirming needily. Intense pleasure was on the edge of your senses, teasing you with the promise of climax but you craved more. Dean’s thumb traced your clit and a spark made your hips jerk. “That’s it,” he coaxed, “keep moving for me, baby.”
Your teeth sank into your bottom lip as you started to rock, much like how you had started. The throbbing inside you increased with each glide of his thumb over the sensitive bundle of nerves. Electricity ran through your veins prompting your head to fall back as you whimpered into orgasm.
“Cum for me, Y/N,” Dean murmured his other hand on your hip now, guiding your rocking motion when you fell over the edge.
It was calmer than any orgasm you’d ever experience but possibly one of the best. Dean’s climax followed yours within seconds and he stopped touching you, letting you fall forward onto his chest, panting heavily.
Although you’d barely moved, you were sweating, exhausted and more sated than you’d ever felt. An overwhelming sense of calm swept through you; even though your legs were shaking with the effort of simply existing, you felt peaceful.
Eventually, Dean had to move, helping you clean up before he slipped back into bed with you. Neither of you spoke as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders and drew you back against his chest, letting you curl into his side.
“Get some more sleep,” he whispered, kissing the top of your head.
You nodded, closing your eyes without a reply and letting the last ebbing waves of bliss carry you off.
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