#freaking out for a week cause someone kept harassing and threatening me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sinigangsta-ao3 · 2 years

Text

Thursday Thoughts: Just a personal reflection...

Wrote this while I was on vacation and while I went dark for a bit…

I’ve been sitting with my thoughts and emotions a lot over the past week or so. And, as I continue processing things emotionally and mentally, I needed to brain dump a little bit.

I hesitated to post because I (1) just wanted everything to fizzle out and (2) wanted to stop hurting people both online and offline… But I ultimately realized that I needed to put this out there, so as to help expend my thoughts from my body and to enable me to move forward at peace.

I’ve already reached out to the individuals with whom I inadvertently stirred up toxicity and have apologized and owned up to where I went wrong. I kept going back and forth if I needed to say something more widely spread — and I realized that just putting something on my blog suffices. I don’t want to center myself on a more visible platform anymore, but I can center myself here. On my personal blog.

I’ve been thinking about why I even started doing this in the first place: to write. And, more specifically, to write about things that are important to me.

Thinking a lot about walking into and trying to occupy space in an environment that I know little about — while also staying true to who I am. Thinking about how to honor both my own emotions and also the emotions of those around me, especially those who I respect and care about. Thinking about how I could have handled things differently, while also recognizing that I don’t believe in leaving anonymous hate unchecked.

I’ve been called unhinged, antagonistic, sick, a weird freak, immature, a traitor. And I know those descriptors simultaneously are par for the course when you’re on the Internet AND hold some truth. Because I am those things sometimes, and I showed those sides over the past couple of days and they are valid and true to a certain degree.

However, I draw the line at a couple of things:

Calling my identity into question, especially my identity as someone in my 30s, as a woman of color, as a MOTHER.

Calling my experience of trauma into question (which, I admit, I also did not do with some people — and I'm sitting with and grappling with that hypocrisy).

You can disagree with what I say, what I do, how I handle things — that’s completely valid and fine, and I take the feedback. Hold me accountable if I do things that are harmful (because I’m not going to deny that I’ve unintentionally caused harm and I’m also reflecting on how I can continue to make things right). But when someone questions who I am as a PERSON, that is not something I can leave unchecked.

I am not new to trauma. I don’t owe anyone my life story, but I have known — viscerally — what it’s like to deal with ACTUAL HATE in the world. Hate that has threatened my life and my well-being. And because I'm not new to trauma (and, specifically, to hate), this is the manner that I developed how to handle hate and harassment that feels right to me, in any space I'm navigating, both online and offline: I don’t ignore — I respond. Not everyone agrees with this approach, but that’s what I do. In any space that I occupy.

I know that this is “just internet hate” and that I have been accused of being toxic and being emotionally and mentally immature for how I responded (for what it’s worth, I don’t believe that directly confronting toxicity is in itself toxic, but that’s where I know a lot of people disagree). I also know that I'm new to experiencing this type of harassment — and I'm learning how to deal with it. Even though I've observed second-hand and thought pragmatically that I could handle it a certain way, it wasn't how I expected. And I keep reminding myself that it's okay. That I'm bound to make mistakes.

And I know that I made quite a few mistakes, that I overstepped in a few ways, as I tried to navigate all of this...

I overstepped when I brought someone else into the fight on a public stage — I didn’t need to do that.

I overstepped when I didn’t clearly shut down when there were unnecessary name drops — I should’ve said more explicitly that it wasn’t okay.

I overstepped when I hurt specific individuals while I was navigating what was happening — I have shared with them directly already, and I’ll say it many, many times. I’m sorry. I never expect forgiveness or reconciliation, particularly when I’ve committed such offenses, but I am truly, sincerely sorry for betraying their trust and confidence. Particularly when they were nothing but accepting of someone who continues to reconcile if she belongs.

I overstepped when I expected (even subconsciously) that others react to trauma in the same way I do. That wasn't okay. And it also isn't okay for others to expect me to react to trauma the way they do. Both things can exist at the same time. I'm working through embracing that.

I have no intention of stepping away from this forever: writing means too much to me to completely abandon everything.

Candidly, I wanted to step away in order to minimize future harm and hopefully to let this fizzle out, allow this space to heal a bit after I harmfully disrupted it. I also recognized that the situation was progressing in a way in which I was being centered, and in my heightened emotion I was becoming more of the focus, rather than what I was trying to say — and that was never my intention of what I was saying or doing. I wanted to highlight something bigger going on, and it was obvious that my intended message was getting lost.

I may not agree with a lot of things in how this space is conducted — but I know I’m one person. And it’s not my place to make the rules. I don’t actually plan to lead a fandom revolution, whether in terms of content or rules of engagement: that is silly and unwanted and no one actually gives a shit. I know that.

I truly do see opportunities for it to change, though — I shared my thoughts, I advocated for something different, and I got shut down. It happens all the time, and I accept it. Things don’t happen overnight and, honestly, I spend this energy around creating change everywhere else that I’m also coming to terms with what it means to occupy an inequitable space in a way that still aligns with who I am, authentically.

At the end of the day, I am feeling many things. Hurt and angry, because I am a person and I think those are valid emotions to feel whenever anyone hears something hurtful. Ashamed, because I dragged people into this mess and it is never my intention to do harm. Confused, because there are many aspects of how this played out (both from me and other parties involved) that I’m still trying to come to terms with. Disappointed, both in how the situation panned out and in how I let this occupy way too much of my headspace. Worried that people are misinterpreting how my decision to step away for a bit signifies that I am weak. And vulnerable. A little unwanted. A little like a hypocrite. Tired.

But also strong and confident in who I am and how I exist.

I am resilient. I’ve built my whole life around resilience. And, throughout my life experience as a 32-year-old queer woman of color — who, over the past week has been told to kill herself, that I’m a horrible mother, that I deserve this type of treatment because of the people with whom I decided to surround myself — I have also learned the beautiful truth that people, even resilient people, don’t and shouldn’t be resilient all the time. That we can let go of being strong and just be. In whatever way is coming up at the time.

Because, when it comes down to it, resilience is just another way that people (especially people of marginalized groups) are expected to shut up and keep their heads down while hurtful things continue to happen to them. We (I) don’t have to put up with that if we (I) have neither the desire nor the energy to just “be quiet and take it.”

And, at this moment, I’ve allowed myself to let go of resilience for just a little bit. To call out the problems. To take care of myself. And to give myself the compassion and understanding that I did what I needed to do in a harmful situation.

And now I’m back. Still me. Still more direct than most people want, still never hesitating to call out shit when it happens — also a little wiser in how to do so in this space specifically.

And still writing. Because that’s why I’m ultimately here.

#personal post #thursday thoughts #nina-bean writing #on fandom #on healing

0 notes

flufflepuffle296 · 4 years

Text

Heathers au: Beautiful Songfic

This is more centred around Veronica/Marinette so not really any mentions of Heather/Heather/Heather. Sorry if someone’s done this before I apologise I just got into Heathers like two days ago. Also I changed some lyrics and took others out to make it more “realistic”. Sorry I suck at endings, it’s 5:30am rn and this is my first fic so be nice please! (I’m on mobile so I can’t add the keep reading tag so sorry if you don’t like this) xxx

I brushed down my dress: I couldn’t give them anything to criticise me over. Everything had to be perfect. I had to be perfect. Chloé sat next to me, my beautiful fiancée, slipping on her kitten heels. She may be 3 months pregnant but no Bourgeois woman would be seen wearing flats. I was in a red floor length a line dress — I grew out of my childish pink years ago, before it even went out of fashion! My hair was twisted into two plaits that were knotted together into a stylish bun at the back. Chloé meanwhile had stuck to her white and gold aesthetic, currently in a slim fitting white dress, showing off her small baby bump, decorated with gold jewellery. I rummaged through my drawers, trying to find a lipstick, when a thin book toppled out. I picked it up, and laughed fondly when I saw what it was.

My old Collège and Lycée diary.

I flipped through it, landing on the page that stuck most clearly in my mind. It was the day my class reminded me of my current reality at that time, shocking me out of a bubble that had surrounded me during the summer holidays that year.

September 1st, 1989.

Dear Diary: I believe I'm a good person. You know, I think that there's good in everyone, but—here we are! First day of senior year!

And uh... I look around at these kids that I've known all my life and I ask myself—what happened?

I bit my lip. What happened? I knew darn well what happened. Lila Rossi. She came in, flaunting her friendships and connections, a new disability every other week to cry about, another rumour about me coming out every 3 days.

Alya ended our friendship, Adrien continued to cry about Lila’s feelings. Lila just kept doing what she did best. The class gave up on changing my mind and instead decided that calling me names would be better. Because logic?!

“Freak!” “Slut!” “Burnout!” “Bug-eyes!” “Poser!” “Lard-ass!” Were the insults they liked to yell daily. Yeah, they weren’t the most creative...

We were so tiny, happy and shiny. Playing tag and getting chased. Singing and clapping, laughing and napping. Baking cookies, eating paste.

Nino and Kim used to come over to the bakery when we were kids, where we’d gorge ourselves on sweets, before celebrating our sugar rushes by chasing each other in the park and then crashing on my sofa, cuddled in blankets and laying on top of each other.

Then we got bigger, that was the trigger. Like the Huns invading Rome. Welcome to my school, this ain't no high school: This is the Thunderdome. Hold your breath and count the days, we're graduating soon. College will be paradise, if I'm not dead by June!

But I know, I know, life can be beautiful. I pray, I pray for a better way. If we changed back then, we could change again. We can be beautiful...Just not today.

I scoffed at my optimism back then. Them changing? They never did, I don’t know why I bothered trying at that point. I should’ve moved on but hey! We all make mistakes. It’s just that sometimes you make 11 friendships worth of mistakes.

“Freak!” “Slut!” “Cripple!” “Homo!” “Homo!” “Homo!”

I cringed as I read their old “insults”. They would write homophobic messages across my locker, getting Alix to spray paint a few slurs across my work after I came out as bisexual.

Things will get better soon as my letter comes from Harvard, Duke, or Brown. Wake from this coma, take my diploma. Then I can blow this town. Dream of ivy-covered walls, no smoky French cafés. Fight the urge to strike a match and set this dump ablaze!

I had purposefully sent out applications to universities far away from these people, from Paris. All three schools accepted me, something I can’t say about my classmates, most of whom were rejected for essays on false information (sourced by Lila) and a quick scan over the Ladyblog meant not a single newspaper would even consider my ex-best friend. Gabriel Agreste, as I later found out through my internship in America, had to bribe several schools with double tuition to get even one to accept Adrien, after he got exposed as sexual harasser and disgraced hero “Chat Noir”. I turned back to my diary, having to peel off rock hard gum from the page that someone had smeared in “revenge”.

Le Chiên Kim. Third year as linebacker and eighth year of smacking lunch trays and being a huge dick.

“What did you say to me, skank?” He would yell, his fist raised in the hallway.

“Aah, nothing!” I then cowered. I may be Ladybug, but he was 150lbs of pure rage. No one can compete with that!

But I know, I know... Life can be beautiful. I pray, I pray, For a better way. We can be beautiful...

“Marinette! Wide load! Honnnnnk!”

He was the smartest guy on the football team. Which is kind of like being the tallest dwarf.

“Hey! Pick that up! Right now!”

“I’m sorry, are you actually talking to me?” He used to snarl, his hands covered in sauce from knocking my tray.

I stood my ground, I had been practising for this moment. “Yes, I am. I wanna know what gives you the right to pick on me. You're a high school has-been waiting to happen. A future gas station attendant.”

Kim then smirked, crouching down to eye level and pressing a finger to my forehead. “You have a zit right there...” he pointed out, causing the cafeteria to laugh at my expense.

I used to ask myself “Why... Why do they hate me?”

And hear Adrien whisper “Why don't I fight back?”

Watch as Max Googled “Why do I act like such a creep?”

Listen in on Lila stamping her feet in the bathroom asking “Why won't he date me?” Clearly frustrated.

Kim panicking as he wondered “Why did I hit him?”

And Chloé sob down the phone “Why do I cry myself to sleep?”

I would stay up late, screaming, begging. At my lowest points I would cry out “Somebody hug me! Somebody fix me! Somebody save me! Send me a sign, God! Give me some hope, here! Something to live for!”

I remember when I first met my real friends. The famed trio had gone into the bathroom and I followed after them, clearly my throat.

“Who are you?”

“Uh... Marinette Dupain Cheng. I crave a boon”

“What boon?” Chloé asked, filing her nails.

“Um. Let me sit at your table, at lunch. If our class think that you guys tolerate me, then they'll leave me alone...”

Chloé threw her nail file out and began circling around me, running her hands through my hair, commenting that “For a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure!” Before coming to a conclusion.

“And ya know, ya know, ya know? This could be beautiful. Mascara, maybe some lip gloss, and we're on our way. Get this girl some blush; and Kagami, I need your brush. Let's make her beautiful.” Sabrina and Kagami, chimed in, echoing her words.

“Let's make her beautiful...”

“Let’s make her beautiful...”

“Make her beautiful...Okay?” Chloé ordered, dragging me out with Kagami and Sabrina, driving me to her hotel. They sat me down, taking my hair out of its bunches and brushing it out. Kagami painted my nails a deep navy with surprising precision, manning my cuticles. Sabrina twirled my hair into a high bun, leaving a few pieces at the front to frame my face. Chloé came back from her wardrobe, throwing a blue blazer and grey skirt at me. I changed into my outfit for them, to which they clapped their hands in glee. They dragged me back to school, taking in everyone’s reactions to the new and improved me. This became my new daily outfit for the rest of the year — the class couldn’t find anything bad about it, and even if they did Chloé would threaten them with her father’s power.

I was happy with my squad. Kagami taught us Japanese and Chloé taught us American English that she’d picked up from her mother. I taught them self defence, under the guise of learning it from my mum, unknowingly training them for the day I would rip Chat Noir’s miraculous from him, before slamming it into Kagami’s palm. I needed help that day, so thrust them bee and the fox miraculous at Chloé and Sabrina respectively. They became permanent heroes, Kagami under the name “Noirette”, Chloé under the new guise of “Buttercup” and Sabrina “Renard Rouge”. Akuma attacks have never lasted more than 15 minutes since we got rid of that alley cat, and we’ve been closing in on Hawkmoth recently.

I shook my head, snapping the crude book shut, throwing the diary in the bin. Today was going to be the day I made peace with all that happened, our 10 year school reunion. Doesn’t mean I’m gonna make up with anyone, just that I will finally leave everything behind. I found my lipstick and smeared on the crimson lip, smacking my lips together. I grabbed my clutch and helped Chloé stand up, though she wobbled a little in her heels. I slid her miraculous into her updo, blowing a kiss at her as to not ruin her makeup.

We met up with Kagami and Sabrina in the hallway, Kagami in a wine red suit with gold jewellery, and Sabrina was in emerald green to compliment her red hair. We stepped into the limo awaiting us outside and set off, arriving at the school 10 minutes later. We walked up the steps, hitching up our dresses and arrived in the courtyard. It had been lit up with fairy lights, with stands of food and drinks scattered around the court. Our old classmates were huddled in small groups, whilst Mlle. Mendeleiev’s was in a large group, enjoying each other’s company after 10 years apart.

No one noticed us, until Rose pointed at me and whispered “Who’s that with Chloé?” The group turned to stare at us, trying to place my face. Adrien looked up from talking to Lila, who seemed to be flaunting a rather tacky Gabriel engagement ring, and whispered,

“Marinette?!”

The class began gossiping amongst themselves, “Marinette? Marinette? Marinette?!”

I ignored them, their childish ways were behind me, and walked up to Aurore and Mireille, fawning over their relationship. They turned Kagami, asking her about her life and squealing over her Olympic medal for fencing. I grinned as I watched my old class, happy that they had moved on from each other — well apart from Alya and Adrien, who were still hooked on Lila. I was finally, content! I thought back on my diary, one particular paragraph standing out to me at this time.

And you know, you know, you know, life can be beautiful. You hope, you dream, you pray, and you get your way! Ask me how it feels, lookin' like hell on wheels...My God, it's beautiful! I feel so beautiful... And when you're beautiful...It's a beautiful frickin' day!

Chloé boasted my achievements, my business, my awards, and the entire of Mendeleiev’s class started chanting “Marinette! Marinette! Marinette!”, much to my embarrassment. I boasted her’s in return, Sabrina revealed how far she’d come as a lawyer, Kagami swung her prized sword from side to side as she listened to us all catching up, laughing at the memories.

It really was a beautiful day.

#lila salt #adrien salt #class salt #marinette deserves better #alya salt #mlb #miraculous #miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir #chloe sugar #kagami tsurugi #sabrina raincomprix #heathers au #beautiful heathers #songfic

304 notes · View notes

mlb-au · 3 years

Text

The Things We Lost

This is my attempt at writing an angst MLB au where Marinette is too overwhelmed at everything she has lost to Lila and loses control. This story does contain suicidal thoughts, strong language, and suicide so be warned.

If asked a few months ago about what the young girl was like, people would talk about how sweet and caring she is. She works hard, puts others first, and is a bit clumsy but is so loving and helpful. They might also say how expressive and optimistic the girl is, like she’s a ball of sunshine. Cut back to the present and none of these words would be used to described the baker’s daughter. Marinette knew that Lila could be trouble. She was telling so many lies, each one getting bigger and more threatening, how could she not be concerned. She had hoped that after everything Lila had done that people would stop believing her. They did not. Instead all blame was placed onto the dark haired girl. Thief. Cheater. Liar. Jealous bitch. Bully. These words and more were thrown at the girl until she felt like they coated her body like a second skin. Even when she was adorned in her red and black suit, she still felt the presence of these comments. It was a miracle that she hadn’t slipped up and allowed Hawkmoth to akumatize her yet.

Her friends, classmates, teachers, and even parents were against her. Her only comfort was the kwamis. Each night they would comfort their guardian in hopes of doing something for the girl. Each night she cried herself to sleep. Each night she hoped that tomorrow would be a better day. It seemed like her wishes never came true. She went through the day like a zombie. She walked into class and went into her seat in the back. People’s eyes putting holes into her body as they whispered about her. Freak. Stalker. Crazy. Jerk. She stare blankly at the front as class went on. If she was lucky, she could go home without being stopped. However most days she wasn’t.

Lila would corner her. Her smirk and eyes were like daggers into Marinette’s soul. She would bark and laugh about how she was good on her promise to rid Marinette of all her friends. Somedays she left it at that. Other days she would hit her or push her. Of course no one noticed her bruises. They even failed to notice the scars forming on her arms, just hidden by her jacket. Marinette stood on her rooftop balcony. She was in her pajamas, and the wind stung her freshly made cuts. She glanced down wondering what it would be like to jump. Tikki and the other kwamis gently nudged the girl back inside. She couldn’t leave them.

Even her partner noticed the difference in her behavior and tried to ask her about it. He expected something simple and easy to fix. He never would have expected what she said next. “I’m looking for a new Ladybug.” “What, why?” Ladybug stared out onto Paris. “I can’t do this anymore. If I continue to be Ladybug, then Hawkmoth will win. I’ll continue to be the guardian, but Paris needs a new Ladybug.” He looks sad but then turns it into a smile. “So does that mean I can find out who you are?” Marinette didn’t even have the energy to yell at him. “I’ll let you know when I find one.” She stood and swung off, leaving him to wonder what he did wrong. Marinette detransformed and couldn’t quite understand why she was crying.

She eyed everyone in the city closely. She needed to sink into the background, and the sooner she did that the better. She did discover someone. A girl her age who went to a different school. She had some friends, did a school club, and most of all was kind and selfless. She waited for a few more days, watching in the shadows, before approaching the girl. Her name was Raven, a nod to her parents dark black hair. Marinette came to her as Mutlimouse. (Only Chat knew that Marinette was Mutlimouse, and it wouldn’t matter once she was gone.) The girl was shocked, but trusted the hero’s judgement. She helped trained and coached the girl, and it was time for the world to have a new, permanent, hero. Mutlimouse and the new Rubybug met with Chat Noir. Chat Noir didn’t even give Marinette a second look.

Over the week she carefully watched the two worked together. It was a bit of a shake up at first, but Rubybug was able to save the day and gain the love of Paris’s citizens. At the end of the week, Marinette said her last goodbyes to Tikki and that was that. However, Tikki had one last parting gift. Hidden in Marinette’s sewing box was a small book. Tikki had wrote out so many messages, all comforting her chosen one. For the first night in a while, the tears she shed were happy. One thing was clear though, she needed to escape more of her life.

Marinette carefully worked. She found a place hidden in plain sight. It was fair enough from her old life yet close enough to be reached in case a different miraculous holder was needed. Not to mention that it wouldn’t be searched or questioned. She moved as much stuff over to the new location as she could without raising suspicion. Then she waited for the day. The day when she would no longer be around. Everyone at school made sure to mention the date. Lila had been working on her final scheme: to get Adrien to be her’s. They would have a date and talk while going to André’s ice cream stand. They would get ice creams that matched each other and would kiss. That was Lila’s plan.

Marinette stood on a newby building, as Scarlet Vixen, and waited. Sure enough Adrien and Lila came around the corner. The rest of the class waited and watched. Alya was recording the whole thing in a livestream. Scarlet Vixen waited for the right time. Lila had just gotten her ice cream, and it matched Adrien. Now it was time to get his. “Strawberry for her blush, blackberry for her hair,” Adrien couldn’t help but get a sense of dread in his stomach. Something bad was about to happen. He glanced around and noticed Marinette standing on the railing. As André said “blue bell stare”, Marinette’s eyes turned to him. She had tries rolling down her eyes, and before Adrien could process it she jumped. Alya had turned her phone to record the girl moments before she jumped, so the whole livestream saw it. The class around her stared at where the girl once stood. She never did resurface from the water.

It was a week after the incident and Lila had a sick feeling of pride. She had done this all before. Take over the school, have everyone love and fawn over her, and destroyed anyone who opposed her. However she never had someone so distraught to have killed themselves, but it’s whatever. She can use this to her advantage. Claim that the girl had really wanted attention so badly she was willing to jump for it. Maybe state that the incident has made herself distraught and needs people to love and support her. But things were different than what she had planned.

First was Marinette’s parents. The night of the incident, Sabine was calling for Marinette to come down and banging on her trap door. Earlier that day she and Tom had yelled at the girl for hurting Lila again, and the girl ran up to her room to hide. Now Sabine was going to yell at her daughter for her grades. It got to a point where she had Tom take off the trap door. The bedroom was a mess. Things were thrown around and out of place. The mom was gonna yell at her daughter for having a temper tantrum when she spotted the blood. A small box cutter laid on the ground, with fresh blood still on it. As Tom looked around, he found a note on their daughter’s bed.

“Dear Mom and Dad,

I know that I am an awful daughter and don’t deserve you. I am sorry for causing trouble and for making me mad. I know you can never forgive me. I won’t come back, so I hope you will live a happier life.

- Marinette”

It was thirty minutes later when they were informed that their daughter had jumped into the river never to be seen again. The parents were in shock, and they had the bakery shut down for the rest of the week. They could only walk around their house, staring over to the opening where the trap door to the pink room once was. They hadn’t expected their only child to just be gone.

Next came Alya. She was at first in denial. There was no way that Marinette would do that. Bully and hurt Lila? Sure. Steal important test papers to cheat? Of course. Throwing herself into a river was not on the list of things that girl could do. It took her several minutes after seeing the incident to realize that she was still recording. The next day she woke up thinking everything was a bad dream. Or even some sick kind of joke that the brat pulled in hopes of gaining attention. However, when she checked her phone to see several messages concerning the content on her blog, she realized it was real.

Next was her general classmates. They didn’t want to believe what they saw at first, but what else was there to do? They couldn’t have done anything to stop it.

However the person who was effected most was Adrien. He had reluctantly agreed to go on the date with Lila, as pushed by Nino and everyone else in the class. He expected his ice cream to be like what he had ordered the first time, to represent his love of Ladybug. However André said said something different. Strawberry for her blush. He had never seen Ladybug blush before, it was never in her nature. The only girl with blue bell eyes and dark hair was... Marinette. The last time he saw her was when she jumped into the river with tears in her eyes. He didn’t know what to think. Why would she jump? She was always so happy. “Not when she was getting harassed and bullied.” Plagg supplied with a scoff. “So much for take the highroad.”

As the week of the incident progressed, the world seemed to stop. However once the week was up the world unpaused, but only to show the darkness of the situation. The bakery was permanently closed when Tom and Sabine were charged for Marinette’s suicide and providing an unsafe home for a child. Alya’s blog was shut down for recording a suicide. The students kept staring at where the girl used to sit, feelings of guilt leaking in. Adrien could barely function, and Gabriel had to rework his schedule to try to get Adrien under control. Adrien was even effected as Chat Noir. While Rubybug was sweet, quirky, and hardworking, he couldn’t help but miss the old Ladybug. The one who, while she would be serious most of the time, was always looking out for him. Rubybug had to save Chat Noir several times during attacks since he began to get distracted so easily.

Lila had expected things to be easier for her. She tried to do some sob stories about how much the death was impacting her but it backed fired. Not because they didn’t believe her, but because the school was now being forced to give more counseling and care when it comes to bullying. Lila was put into therapy and had her lies backfire on her when concerned classmates filled in their teacher on the awful things Marinette said and done to the girl. Not to mention all those other things. Her mom and the school had a several hour long discussion before the truth was exposed.

The school year continued on. The class was two students down for the count. One was simply transferred out and the other was gone forever. Sometimes the students would forget that Marinette was gone. Alya had gotten to talk to the new Rubybug and was about to call Marinette to talk before remembering that she was gone. The members of Kitty Section were discussing new costumes before remembering that their old designer couldn’t help anymore. Her parents still felt like they could hear their daughter’s voice coming from the bedroom. Adrien sat on top of rooftops at night staring at the lucky charm Marinette had made him. Their everyday ladybug. Gone without a trace and never to be seen again.

Of course, she was still around. Hidden away in the shadows of Paris. The miracle box and kwamis as her sole companions. Waiting for when her new bug would come by to seek out help. She saw the world fall before her and watched. Her soul had died long before. It didn’t matter to her how any of those people felt. After all, she had lost more. She had lost her family, friends, dreams, hopes, and her partner in one go. Why should they care about her now that she’s gone. It’s not like they lost everything. No. They only lost one stupid girl. She didn’t matter to them before she was gone, why did they care now that she was gone. Ah, such is the way of life.

#miraculous fanfic #mlb au #mlb marinette #fanfic #miraculous ladybug

8 notes · View notes

elisaphoenix13 · 5 years

Text

Behind The Mask

It had been a bad day. A really bad one, because some bullies had gotten a little too cocky and Harley had seen them trip Peter in the hallway before they grabbed him and stuffed him into the nearest locker. The older teen had pounced on them and a few blows were exchanged while Peter pulled himself out of his prison before he had stopped Harley and dragged him away. He didn't want his adoptive brother getting into trouble in the first week of school. Especially on his behalf. So he grabbed their discarded belongings, shouted a goodbye to Ned, and wrestled Harley out of the school building before any faculty members could stop them.

The first half of their walk home passed in tense silence as Harley prodded at his busted lip and cut cheek, but it was broken as soon as they got off at their stop at the subway station.

"Why did you let them do that?" Harley asks coldly. "Why haven't you said anything to Dad and Stephen?"

Harley wasn't close to the sorcerer despite what the man had done for him when he first arrived, and wouldn't call him by anything but his name. Peter suspected part of the reason the other teen wouldn't refer to Stephen as 'mom' was not only because he wasn't close to the doctor, but maybe because he felt it would be an insult to his mother's memory. Peter kind of understood, but he didn't really remember his mother so the guilt of giving that role to Stephen had passed over a short time. From the stories Ben and May had told him though, Peter was sure his mother wouldn't have minded. Just like Laura and Maggie didn't mind it when their kids called Stephen 'mom' too.

"Last time Mom and Dad found out about a bully, Mom almost ripped out their parents throats and Dad threatened to sue. Besides, it's better me than some other kid." Peter adjusts his backpack and looks over at Harley with a 'What are you going to do' look, but startles when he finds the other boy glaring at him.

"What kind of excuse is that?"

"I can heal way faster than anyone else and it doesn't even happen every day."

"Are you serious?" Harley asks angrily. "Tell-"

"No!" Peter interrupts. "If Mom or Dad freak out then I freak out and it's just so much easier if they don't know. They haven't seriously hurt me so there's no reason!"

Harley scoffs. "No reason. So stepping in to defend you was a waste of my time?"

"...sort of?" The vigilante waves his hands wildly when his adopted brother frowns. "Not that I don't appreciate it because I do! Just...I heal faster."

"You said that."

Harley huffs and they walk into the tower's lobby as soon as they reach the building, and they step into the private elevator that takes them directly up to the family floor. As soon as the elevator doors open when it reaches their destination, Stephen was waiting in front of it with an ice pack.

"Whoa...your sixth sense is crazy accurate." Peter says as the sorcerer presses the pack to Harley's cheek.

"It's just a scratch. No big deal. I can take care of it myself." The older teen grumbles but makes no move to brush Stephen away.

"I'd like to make sure." The doctor says in a no-nonsense tone, and leads Harley over to the kitchen table.

As soon as the teen sits down, Stephen opens a small portal to grab the first aid kit from the master bathroom and he pulls a chair up in front of Harley to sit in. The sorcerer didnt bother using magic to steady his hands since it wasn't necessary. No stitches were needed. Just a bit of antiseptic and a bandage.

"I thought we told you to say something if bullies continued to harass you." The doctor speaks softly, but with a hint of disappointment.

Peter swallows thickly. "Who said anything about bullies?" He ignores the look of 'I told you so' that Harley shoots in his direction as Stephen looks over at him.

"Peter. I am a doctor. I know what the damage from a right hook looks like when I see it."

"It's no big deal." The younger teen mumbles.

"Tell that to my fat lip." Harley grumbles.

Peter glares at him. "I didn't ask you to defend me!"

"What, you just want to me to stand and watch while they stuff you in lockers, push you down stairs, and trip you up?!" Harley shouts.

"I was handling it just fine!"

"Enough." Stephen raises his voice just enough to get their attention. "Both of you go up to your rooms and cool down."

Both teens huff and go up to their rooms, and ended up staying there for the rest of the night. Stephen had called them down for dinner, but both boys were being stubborn and refused to see each other. Peter's stomach had other ideas around midnight though. It screamed at him to feed it so he had no choice but to crawl down to the kitchen via the ceiling and take one of the two plates that Stephen had put in the fridge for him and Harley. Peter took the plate that was very obviously for him based on the amount of food piled on it and tears off the plastic wrap before throwing it in the microwave.

Peter spins in circles as he hangs from the ceiling on a web, waiting for his food to heat up, and then falls into a heap on the floor when he hears a shout of surprise.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

Peter hisses and rubs the back of his head where he had hit it on the island and he sits up to face a bewildered Harley. The other teen no doubt had the same idea as Peter and came down to eat, but got a surprise first. Harley's shout had woken their parents and both had come down to investigate the cause, one with a magical shield and the other with a gauntlet. When they figured out that nothing was amiss they looked between the teens in confusion.

"What the hell is going on?" Tony asks as he rubs his face.

Harley turns to them and motions toward Peter who was finally on his feet. "He's Spiderman?!"

Stephen and Tony look at each other and then back at Harley. "We thought you knew." The sorcerer says.

"Am I the only normal person here?!"

Tony folds his arms. "Harley, a lot of us are normal. The only superhumans are Steve, Bucky, and Peter. I won't even include Thor and Loki for obvious reasons."

Harley frowns. "Stephen has magic."

"I learned my magic." Stephen says calmly. "Tony, Natasha, Sam, Scott...they only have weapons or suits. Otherwise they're normal and they're just a few examples."

The microwave beeps loudly in the somewhat awkward silence that follows and Peter takes his food out before sitting at the table and practically inhaling his late dinner. Harley watches in minute fascination and then decides to get his own food and heat it up. Harley sits at the island with his own dinner once it gets hot and their parents return to bed with a roll of their eyes. Harley and Peter were still being stubborn and they weren't about to try anything this late at night. If they argued, they argued.

That didn't happen though. Harley actually grabbed his food and sat in the seat directly across from Peter and stares at his adoptive younger brother. "...now I know why you kept mentioning how fast you heal." He pokes at his chicken with his fork. "I sort of get it. You don't want to accidently hurt anybody...right?"

"Pretty much." Peter confirms quietly. "I can take what they do to me. Someone else though? Not so much."

Harley nods slowly and they eat their meal in silence. It was still a little strained, but definitely more comfortable than it had been just a couple of minutes ago. When Peter finally finished his food and got up to put his dishes in the dishwasher, he stopped and looked at Harley.

"For what it's worth, I appreciate that you defended me." The younger teen looks down at the floor. "Just...don't get into fights for my sake."

Harley scoffs. "No promises Spidey. You may look out for everyone else...but someone has to look out for you."

"That's what parents are for."

"And older brothers."

A small smile grows on Peter's face and he continues forward to put his dishes in the dishwasher. "At least try not to."

"Again. No promises." Harley replies with a grin.

Peter rolls his eyes and makes his way back up to his room where he flops into bed with a much happier stomach and falls asleep. The next morning, he startles awake when someone sits on his bed with a hop and he cracks one eye open to glare at the disturbance. Harley raises an eyebrow down at him with a smirk and Peter retaliates by throwing a pillow at his face. Harley pushes Peter to one side of the bed, the younger grumbling but moving so the elder teen can lay next to him with the thrown pillow.

"How long?" Harley asks.

How long had Peter been Spiderman?

"A couple of years. Since I was fourteen."

"Do you spit venom?"

Peter huffs into his pillow as he hugs it. "I don't spit venom, I don't lay eggs, I still don't know how far my webs go, and I can't summon an army of spiders."

"What can you do?"

"Crawl on walls...and my senses are dialed to eleven so I can smell the coffee that Dad is brewing and the pancakes Mom is making, I can hear Steve and Bucky coming up the elevator...oh yeah. I can stop a three thousand pound car going forty miles an hour."

"...badass." Harley sits up. "Did you say pancakes?"

Peter grunts in affirmation and Harley stands up and then turns to yank the blankets off of the vigilante.

"Dude..."

"Come on. We can have breakfast and then run some tests on your limits and what else you can do."

"Sounds like a chore." Peter groans.

"Maybe we can bribe Stephen into adding chocolate chips-" Harley starts until the bedroom door opens and Stephen smirks.

"No bribery needed. Breakfast is ready and I am not putting anything aside this time." The sorcerer says.

"Okay. I'm up. I'm up."

Peter rolls out of bed and follows Harley and Stephen down to the kitchen and immediately pulls some chocolate chip pancakes onto his plate. Stephen stops him after the fifth one so the other three can get their servings. Breakfast passed with normal conversation, and Peter found out that Steve and Bucky only came up to grab a few things before leaving again. Toward the end of breakfast though, Harley had asked Tony if they could help Peter test his limits and abilities and their father grinned.

"I've been meaning to do that so absolutely. Underoos, suit up."

"Seriously?" Peter asks.

"As a heart attack."

"Don't joke about that Tony." Stephen says with a wince before sipping his tea.

Harley grins. "Can I shoot him with my potato gun?!"

Peter gawks. "No! What is wrong with you?!"

#mama bear stephen strange #supremefamily #ironstrange #peter parker #tony stark #stephen strange #harley keener

131 notes · View notes

natasha-cole · 4 years

Text

#1 Crush: Part 23

Chapter Summary: With their relationship back on track, Reader and Rob are keeping things quiet for now. Their moments of domestic bliss start to give her a sense of security again, but someone comes along to remind her that she shouldn’t get too comfortable.

Word Count: 1768

Warnings: angst, creepy fan, swearing probably

Notes: Super short chapter as I try to get back into the groove of writing.

Series Masterlist

Being with Rob again was easily the best decision you had made. It had been the stupidest decision to leave him in the first place, but at the time, you thought it had been the right choice.

The two of you fell back into your life together rather seamlessly, and it was as if you had never dumped him in the first place. He didn’t hold it against you, and neither of you brought it up again once you had apologized profusely the night you got back together. All that mattered now was that you were together again.

Still, it was always in the back of your mind that you never wanted him to be caught up in all of this. The harassment from your obsessed fan had been going on for so long that it almost became normal to you, but you knew it still got to him. He had gotten better about holding back when he thought you should be more careful or perhaps step away from work when things got too intense, and it was nice to coexist with him without having him upset with you.

Things had been kept mainly to social media; accounts still popping up to tag you in weird and creepy posts, and the occasional phone random phone call that you never answered and couldn’t even bring yourself to tell Rob about. For the time being, that was it. There hadn’t been awful threats lately, that you had seen anyway, and your friends hadn’t pulled you aside to warn you about something they came across on line in weeks. It wasn’t over, but it had quieted down at least a little bit.

You and Rob decided to keep it quiet that you were back together, since that seemed to trigger your stalker more than anything. Besides, it also kept Rob safer if no one knew. For the time being, your close friends knew the truth and the fandom had accepted the premise that you and Rob were just friends now and nothing more. Eventually, you’d come out about your relationship again, because you loved each other and you didn’t want to keep it a secret, but it made the most sense right now to be discreet about it.

By the time the holidays rolled around, you were on break from set and conventions had stopped for a while, which meant that you got to be out of the public eye for a few weeks. It was a relief to take a break from it all, and you relished in the moments that you got to spend with Rob in L.A.

Today, you decided to get some things done as Rob was out of the house for a bit recording for his podcast. As usual, he was hesitant to leave you, but you insisted that he go. Truthfully, it was nice to have some time to yourself since it had become a rare thing for there not to be someone with you at all times.

Left to your own devices, you did some work around Rob’s place; tidying up and making a shopping list before you headed out on your own.

-------------------------------

The grocery shopping had been completed, and you were proud of the fact that you got through it without having a panic attack. Normally, you were looking over your shoulder, afraid of the possibility that your stalker could be following you at all times. But, today, you put all of that out of your mind since things had calmed down a bit.

Before heading back to Rob’s place, you decided to stop by your favorite cafe for a drink.

After you had ordered your usual, you waited patiently for your order, only to be startled as you heard someone call out to you.

“Y/N?”

The voice was familiar and you hesitantly turned to face whoever it was. When it registered who was standing in front of you now, your breath caught and you felt that familiar sickness in your gut that you felt that night when things went too far with him.

“Liam,” you said flatly.

“What a coincidence,” he smiled. “Of all the places in Los Angeles…”

“What are you even doing here?” You asked, trying not to sound too terrified at the man standing here.

“Hey, they make a great cup of coffee,” he chuckled. “And I like the blueberry muffins.”

You had been coming to this place religiously since you moved to L.A. When you and Rob had started dating, you had even dragged him here multiple times. You were a usual. The baristas knew you by name and knew your usual order. Not once of all the times you had stepped foot in here had you ever seen Liam here.

You knew that you were probably being paranoid. Yes, things had gotten weird with Liam and he had absolutely freaked you out that night. You had even briefly considered the possibility of him being the one who was secretly making your life hell, but it seemed like a stretch. It didn’t really make sense as he had been the one who had protected you from your stalker while all of it was happening.

Just seeing him again creeped you out though. You thought back to how angry he had gotten when you rejected his advances. He had blamed you for flirting with him and leading him on, even though you were confused at how he could even think that.

Right now, you wondered if he was following you. Even when he had been around, he didn’t know that this was your favorite place. He didn’t really work for you while you were home, aside from the day that someone broke into your place.

You didn’t know how to respond as he stared at you. Mostly, you were too afraid to say anything and you definitely wanted to avoid causing a scene here.

You saw his eyes dart to your neck and you reached up to touch the necklace that Rob had given you. It was a strange action for him to look at it and it made you uneasy.

“I am really sorry about what happened between us,” he said, breaking the awkward silence between you. “You never gave me the chance to apologize.”

“Nothing happened between us,” you replied quickly.

“Yeah,” he argued. “I came on too strong and my ego has hurt a little bit so I got defensive. I’m not angry about you firing me. I’m angry at myself for messing up my chance with you.”

“You had no chance with me,” you said, narrowing your eyes at him as you were confused by his words. You felt your face grow hot, angry that he could even think that after everything.

“Well, not after I was so aggressive.”

“No,” you said firmly. “You had no chance because I was never interested. You crossed a line, and you scared me.”

“I- I didn’t mean to scare you…” he said, looking confused.

You opened your mouth to speak again, but the barista interrupted.

“Y/N!” She shouted, letting you know that your order was ready.

“If you’ll excuse me, I was just getting coffee,” you said as you pushed past Liam, grateful that you could now just get your drink and leave. “Rob’s waiting for me,” you lied.

“Rob?” He asked, looking almost shocked.

“Yeah, my boyfriend, Rob.”

“So that’s a thing again?” He chuckled.

“It’s none of your business.”

“No, I guess not,” he smirked. “Even though you told me all about your break up and how shitty he was to you.”

“I never said it like that,” you said angrily.

“My mistake,” he replied.

You grabbed your coffee and walked past him toward the door, wanting to get out of there as quickly as possible now.

“Hey, Y/N,” he called after you.

He paused, giving you a chance to turn and face him again. He was smiling at you. A strange grin plastered on his face as he finished his thought.

“I’ll see you around.”

You didn’t respond. You turned quickly away from him again and darted out the door, heart racing as you tried to tell yourself that his last words weren’t meant to be threatening.

When you arrived back at Rob’s place, you locked the door behind you and tried to distract yourself by putting the groceries away. You didn’t want to read too much into anything. Sure, Liam was a creep and kinda scared you now, but it didn’t make sense to think that he could be the one who was stalking you. He had been too close to you. Even the police told you that this was most likely some fan that you didn’t know.

Still, you were now on edge. You couldn’t get the incident out of your mind and you couldn’t help but think about how weird he had been. You really couldn’t stop thinking about the way he said he’d see you around. Was that meant to be threatening? Should you be afraid?

You sat on the couch, staring mindlessly at the wall. It had been some time since you had felt this anxiety and all you really wanted to do was ignore it. But, it was a feeling that stayed with you.

Before you could dwell too much on anything, you were broken from your thoughts when you heard someone at the front door. Your eyes darted to the door, your chest tightening as you felt fearful again for just a moment.

Rob opened that door and entered the house before you could freak out though. Of course it was him. Who else would it be?

“Hey,” he smiled as he saw you sitting there watching him.

He closed the door behind him and took off his jacket and made his way toward you, leaning down to kiss you deeply.

“How was your afternoon?” He asked after he pulled away and sat next to you.

He rested his head on your shoulder, reaching over to take your hand in his. “Anything exciting happen?”

Your breath caught and you hesitated for a moment.

“I just bought groceries,” you answered. “And got coffee.”

“That’s all?” He asked.

You decided against telling Rob about the run in with Liam. There was no point. The only thing that would come of it would be an upset Rob and you really didn’t want that, especially not when things had been so good between you.

“Yep,” you said as you forced a smile, knowing deep down that you shouldn’t lie about something like this. “Just another uneventful day.”

-------------------------------------------------------

Forever Tags (tag me in everything!)

@destielschild

@sorenmarie87

@smoothdogsgirl

@kocswain

@culturebay

@itsfunnierin-enochian

@typicalweirdbookworm

@angelsandhuntersgalore

@riversong-sam

@emoryhemsworth

@hunterpuff

@camelotandastronauts

@laffytaffyhumor

@cyrilconnelly

@jpadjackles-mishamark

@waywardswain

@sirraxa

@thewordsmithofhell

@atc74

@shanghai88

@narisjournal-blog

@chocolategate

@lucerospn1detc

@nerdyforyourbooks

@rblstrash

@your-sparklywinnercollection

@robfangirl

@soythedemonqueen

@southernbell91

@ladyofletters67

@internationalmusicteacher

@tas898

@katsanders

@collinscosmicentity

@missihart23

@wildefiction

@laubeck10

@a-forest-of-stars

12 notes · View notes

harveywritings92 · 5 years

Text

Bedfellows ch 2

The following is a non profit fan based story, Overwatch belongs to Blizzard Entertainment .

please support the official release.

I gain no profit from this nor do I own anything other then OCs and whatever sprouts from my imagination. Thanks for reading!

That morning Vex was awoken the to sound of someone banging on her door, She looked around groggily Genji was gone she did have to checked the feeds on her computer to know so was the car he must went back to base. She cleared her sore throat as her body woke up "Just a sec." She called out was feeling not as shitty then she was yesterday.

the joints in her legs popped in protest as Vex got up from her futon and went to her frontdoor only to find it locked...Vex cocked a brow she was seriously impressed, Genji didn't even trip the alarm! She's gotta ask the cyborg how he does that! she unfastened the locks and found a police officer standing there. "Yes?" the brunette said eyeing the cop nervously wondering why they were here for?

"Ma'am are you the owner the residence?"

"Yes, what's this about?"

"Well, Maybe you can answer that, considering there are three injured men that claimed a "demon" attacked them on your property."

"....I'm sorry?"

Vex said bemused as she looked at the cop like he just said the sky had turn green and grass was blue, pretty much said that she had no idea what he was talking about! she went on to explain that she was sick last night and still was today, and there was no way she would attack anyone for no reason... then she went cold and a curdling feeling settled in her stomach when she recalled when Genji had disappeared and the screaming... Could he have? The cop seem notice her inner turmoil. but before he could interrogate her farther his omnic partner came from Vex's backyard.

"Ey, Roy think I found the Demon." they said sarcastically the human cop or Roy and Vex look at each other as they followed after it, What the silver eyed girl saw in that backyard could only be described as a war zone it was a literal bloody mess and more confusing to the short woman was the alarming amount of power tools scattered around the yard.

"Those aren't mine..." She said warily as the omnic held up an rusted old TV antenna with a black shredded tarp stuck to it, then pointed at a dead raccoon. "I think our 'Victims" were actually the bad guys, they must've tried to break in." they pointed at the broken fence and the scratches on Vex's back door. "Then this fell off the roof startling the men who startled family of raccoons, which caused all this..."

The bot explained then found a switch blade in the grass which also, matched the injuries on the men, the human cop seem skeptical until Vex spoke up "Out of curiosity, was one of these men obese with greasy blond hair, wearing a sweat stained blue tracksuit, and smelled like stale beer and rotten milk?" The brunette asked with a sniffle the cops didn't even need to answer; the look of disdain on the human officer's face pretty said enough.

"That sicko has been stalking and sexually harassing me since I first moved here!" she huffed obviously disgusted and borderline freaking out that Derek had tried to break into her home; planning to to do god knows to her! she remembered the way the way he looked at the night before and felt bile rise from her throat. Vex went pale broke out into a cold sweat her body felt like it was on fire all of the sudden, before either cop asked if she was okay she threw up into her miserable excuse of vegetable garden, the omnic officer tossed the antenna aside and started rubbing the sick girl's back. "He tried approaching me last night.." the sick girl croaked. "My friend scared him off, I thought that was the end of it.." she wince feeling a headache coming on, the officers could tell this woman was in no way a threat a breeze could knock her over right now.

The cops then asked Vex if she wanted to press charges but, not wanting to draw any more attention to herself refused, Besides just by looking at the carnage in her backyard told her Genji did enough damage to teach that drunken pervert not to bother her again, The cops finally left letting Vex go back to bed. she spent most of the day taking cough medicine, sleeping and watching internet videos...and worrying how Genji was coping without her, hopefully they had mission to keep him occupied so he didn't have to be alone.

At the OW base

Unbeknownst the silver eyed brunette; Genji had stolen one of her hoodies and was using it like a pillow case, it helped that it smelled like his friend, but it wasn't the same. Over the past two months he'd grown accustomed to the feel of warmth and the security of a second heartbeat next to him, Genji sighed he felt lonely without hearing the breathing soft and little mumbles Vex made when she was in a deep sleep.

It gave the black haired cyborg assurance that he had someone there cling to when the dread of deafening solitude was too much to handle, But alas he can't control how the human body works. so, he'd have to make due until Vex was better... Needless to say, Genji did not have a good night, he'd sleep for a few minutes than wake up, rinse and repeat.

The next week he was standoffish and cranky, everyone could sense it and avoided the cyborg more so then usual, except for that annoying group of his 'admirers' they tried pushing themselves on him and offering to keep him warmer better then Vex could, He'd turn them off by having Mcree read off a list of ridiculous demands he and Vex had written.

It was around 10 am on Tuesday when Genji was the middle of training when he heard commander Reyes walk into the training room with a familiar short figure wandering behind him talking to the intimidating commander. "So, I have to saturate the soil twice a day?" She asked Reyes nodded taking a sip of his coffee, The short woman paused and thought this over " Huh,That's why my tomatoes haven't been coming in." the brunette muttered before locking eyes with a certain cyborg.

Vex, her sudden presence nearly caused Genji to take a couple bullets to the face! they were rubber bullets. but still... Ouch! He manage to snap back into focus to deflect the rest with his sword before, dashing forward flipping over obstacles and pining his opponent down, He then sheathed his weapon and bowed to a very unimpressed Mcree, much to Vex's astonishment the brunette has meditated and done yoga with her edgy sleep buddy, but Vex has never actually seen Genji train before.

She stared at the scene both impressed and incredulously as Mcree teased and accused the ninja about showing off in front of his girlfriend" the cyborg ignored him and approached the short brunette, he silently rested his palm against her forehead feeling her temperature his bionics let out steam the intense glare in his eyes softened a little "You look better..." he said somewhat briskly very aware that Reyes and Jesse were watching, "I feel better..." Vex said curtly as her lips formed a thin line she seemed angry.

Genji felt his artificial stomach sink wondering if he had done something to upset her? He turned to commander Reyes who just gave him a little nod as he chatted with Jesse over his strategies, at that the ninja grabbed Vex's arm and escorted her out of the training room. While Mcree shook his head at the twosome in disbelief. "I just don't get em' Boss, how does Shimada sleep next to that almost every night and not tap it?" The cowboy bellowed envy lacing his tone "I know he has the equipment for it!" *And it's bigger than mine...*

He hissed throwing his hands in the air in exasperation Commander Reyes shook his head at the younger man's antics. "Jesse, men can be friends with women without adding benefits to the mix." the Latin man said matter-o-factly just as Mcree pointed a finger at the commander's face and yelled "Blasphemy" in a demonic voice before Reyes threatened to break his hand if he ever pointed at him again! then ordered the cowboy to drop and give him twenty!

Meanwhile

Genji had led Vex to small secluded part of the base where they could talk in private. Before the cyborg could even get a word out the brunette blurted out "You got the cops called on me!" he gawked at her bemused before recalling the incident in the backyard. "oh..S-sorry." he stammered out the words felt foreign to him it had been a while since the cyborg had to apologize to someone. Then he asked what happened Vex pretty gave him the sum up, cops showed up took her out back showed her the war zone that was her backyard."

The Omnic deputy theorized Derek and his buddies were hopped up on alcohol and drugs, got spooked by an old TV antenna falling off her roof which woke up a family of raccoons; chaos broke out and they put themselves in the hospital. She asked if it was Derek and had panic attack and threw up then, then the human cop explained how the perv kept making passes and jeering at female hospital staff and tried to grope a female officer who was sent to take their statement, so he wasn't going to be a problem for a while.

Genji grimaced behind his mask he wanted to ask why didn't she pressed charges or ask for protection, then he recalled why they called her neighborhood the Gallows; It was run by the Scarecrow Kings a gang with old saying 'Get caught squealing and you get hanged' It didn't even have to involve the the gang in anyway; they heard you went to the police for some reason or another? suddenly accidents happen and outsiders were no exception.

Vex knew this, and the last thing she wanted to do was piss off the SCK. They've been a thorn in Over/Blackwatch's side for while now too...There have actually been rumors of mole working in BW feeding info to the gang, But so far any leads of said mole have come up empty...

"Have there been any other problems?"

"Aside from your creepy fan club giving me the stink eye?"

"..." he gave her stern look clearly not in tolerating mood today, the brunette resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"No."

Vex huffed Genji seemed to relax before gesturing for the silver eyed woman to follow him, she complied the cyborg led her to an elevator causing the woman to cock a brow. "So, where are you taking me exactly?" She asked warily as she stepped inside the elevator with Genji who shifted awkwardly on his feet as it started up. "Dr. Ziegler has asking about you, won't stop badgering me bring you around." He huffed Vex didn't missed how tired he sounded or the bags under his eyes. Maybe after meeting miss Ziegler she'll see if Genji is up for a power nap?

Needless to say the duo certainly turned a lot a heads anyone who was wandering or just in the hallway stopped what they were doing and stared a the abnormal twosome, Blackwatch's homicidal 'Tin-man' toddling around with the rumored silver-eyed janitor! now that was something to gawked at! some started whispering amongst themselves, It took one icy red glare shot by said cyborg caused their unwanted audience to disperse and go back to what they were doing.

When they reached the med-bay Angela was just finishing up a setting up a large machine Vex assumed was used to examine Genji her assumptions were proven correct as a holographic model and graph of said cyborg started up in a T-pose while the blonde doctor was busy. looking down at a chart unaware of the tag-along the ninja had brought in with him. "Alright Genji everything's set up you can ju-" her blue eyes finally looked up from the chart and locked on to a person who certainly wasn't Genji, it took a moment for Angela to realize who she was staring at before noticing her original patient, the blond just pointed at Vex then at Genji as if having mental conversation with the ninja who face-palmed and sighed loudly. "Yes." Confirming that he had brought the friend he had told her about.

"Oh, It's so nice to finally meet you..."

"Vex."

"Vex...you have silver eyes."

"So I've been told..."

After a few minutes of watching Angela hook Genji up to the machine waiting for it to finish scanning him, Vex started having an inkling that this wasn't just a courtesy call, and may have been a double check-up set by a certain ninja, considering Dr. Ziegler would try to subtly ask how she was feeling, shining a small light in her eyes, after few of this Vex gave the the OK for the medic to just do check to cause this was just embarrassing them both. "So, those are your natural eyes?" Angel still hung up on the short brunettes eye color. "Yeah, mutation I inherited from...[sigh] my father." she hissed out the word venomously, malice for the man wasn't lost on Genji and Angela.

The doctor cleared her throat pick up a small syringe"I'm going to draw a blood sample if that alright?" Vex shrugged pulling her sleeve up. "I don't mind, but you may need a tougher needle then that." the blond looked confused but shrugged and used the one in her hand, brought it up to Vex's arm and it wouldn't go in, Angela pressed down a bit and the needle seem to go in this time; she pulled the piston back, but nothing came out...the blond's brow furrowed and she pulled the syringe away and blanched the needle was bent! as Vex let out a sigh.

"Told ya, you'd need a tougher needle." When she said this Genji's heart-rate spike up wondering what was going on? as Angela was blocking his view she moved giving him a view of the bent needle as the blond grabbed another larger syringe, this time it did it's job Angela drew a blood sample and brought up another machined she explain it was used to make sure there were no diseases or problems with Vex's blood. it should be done analyzing in a couple minutes, then turned her attention back to Genji the sync-unit had finished the body scan.

"Okay, Genji everything thing seems to be functioning alright, you limbs are responding and your reaction time is getting quicker ...by the way your heart spiked a moment, were you worried about Vex just now?" the cyborg glared at her then averted eyes to the wall, Angela snicker he must've forgot he was still hooked up to the scanner because his temperature spiked too.

As she was unhooking Genji from his restraints and the Sync-unitm Vex's blood work came back, Angela nearly fainted when she saw the results that was impossible! according to these Vex's health states were abnormal, almost enhanced was like Morrison and Reyes, but then she checked again realized this wasn't science, there was no trace of surgical implants or biochemical-reinforcements. Her near superhuman abilities were all natural born traits.

She briefly glanced Vex out of the corner of her, the silver eyed girl smirked and winked at the flabbergasted doctor, Before Genji's voice brought her back to earth "Is there something wrong?" Genji asked gruffly his red eyes were looking up at Vex's lab work bemused then at Angela.

the medic composed herself quickly then finished un hooking the cyborg. "Nothing in fact she's in perfect health!" She chirped leaving the ninja skeptical, until Vex interjected. "It's fine Gen, if I was sick it'd be hard to miss trust me." she hopped off the examination table, As the ninja still gave Angela a suspicious glance before leaving with Vex, Angela calmly reminded him of his next check-up and wave them off and as soon as the door shut the medic's smile dropped as she calmly turned her comm on and called. "Commander Morrison, is there something you'd like to tell me?" she inquired sternly.

later

Vex was mopping the floors she hummed a tune, knowing exactly what Angela was doing right now, calling Morrison demanding an explanation why someone with Vex's abilities was working as janitor of all things?! It sucked she wanted to out right tell somebody why she was really working for Blackwatch, but if she wanted to catch who's leaking info the Scarcrows she gonna have to be as cunning as them, She'll admit it was impressive how the mole was able get in so easily, she or he must've hacked or used enhancement to boost their stats a tad enough to give them leverage in the recruitment program...

Vex was brought out of her thoughts by someone dumping their soda and yogurt on her nice clean floor! She looked up and saw Blondie and her gaggle of turkey necks giggling at her. "Whoops better clean that up toilet-scrubber." the Cheeto sneered before walking off laughing along with her group, Vex let out a frustrated grumble she could not wait for this job to be over! Just so she can punch that bitch in her fake plastic fucking nose.

The brunette sighed and got to clean the mess up when she noticed something unusual, the door to the tactical server room was open! Vex swallowed as she quietly pushed her cart and mop to the side, started walking towards the open door as she got closer she reached for one of her throwing knives, only someone to call out to her, She saw Jesse walking up to her causing the short woman to backtrack. "Oh, uh.. Jesse what do you need?" the cowboy scratched the back of his head kind of uncomfortable.

"I heard Shimada took you to see Mercy, I thought you was still sick or something?" now any normal girl would giggle knowing a cute guy like Jesse was worried about them, unfortunately he's really not her type. "Genji was just being concerned, wanted to make sure I wasn't coming in cos' I was bored." she explained to Mcree who seemed genuinely surprised that Shimada actually showed an emotion other than anger. "So, what are you doing now?" the cowboy asked the silver eyed woman gave him a blank stare and slowly looked down.

He followed her and blanched seeing muddy foot prints trailing behind him along with the soda/yogurt puddle she still had yet to clean...Mcree swallowed and look back at Vex to see her smiling very sweetly and she said. "Trying to control my bloodlust.~" She beamed causing Mcree to shudder as he muttered an apology and scurried away.

Vex's smile was gone as soon as Mcree left she looked back to the TS room to see it now closed, the silver eyed woman cussed under her breath, She missed them! Vex took a deep breath and returned to her original task and got to mopping the hall....Again.

#Overwatch #blackwatch #blackwatch genji #Genji x OC #fanfiction #Gabriel Reyes #Jesse Mcree #angela ziegler #fanfic

4 notes · View notes

perfectlyfine-notfineatall · 6 years

Text

PERSONAL APPLICATION TO REPUTATION

Hi everyone! I’m Stephie, 23 as of April 13, from Chicago suburbs. I am going to personally apply my last few years to reputation. This record holds the most closely to my heart due to how it applies to my life!!! I LOVE IT DEARLY. @taylorswift @taylornation

1. ...Ready For It? -I went to a New Years party on 12/31/16 after FINALLY BLOCKING my abusive ex-boyfriend (GO ME!!) Of course, I ran into an old male friend (Kyle) that used to like me for me. This whole song describes how I felt first wondering who he was, who I was, who we finally were, and where things would take us. 2. End Game. -Kyle and I continued talking, drinking, & staying out late with mutual friends & strangers. All my “friends” told me to NOT fall for him due to his “bad” high school reputation. However, I had a pretty bad reputation over how I left my abusive ex, so I did not care about our reputations. “I got some big enemies- big reputation, big reputation, ooooh you and me would be a big conversation, ahhh-” To which we were, in fact, most of my “friends” dropped me after hanging out with him after New Years. Plenty of conversation goes around....

3. I Did Something Bad -Kyle helped me rebuild my self-esteem. Due to “I never trust a narcissist, but they love me,” my abusive ex started talking shit & harassing me/us (keyed my car, made a public dating account in my name, hacked into my emails, spam-blasted our phones, had others threaten/talk shit on my happy posts, tried to drive Kyle off the road, etc.) I went to the police to report him because “if a man talks shit, then I owe him nothing. I don’t regret it one bit-cause he had it coming.”

4. Don’t Blame Me -very obviously, “love made me crazy.” I no longer cared what people thought of Kyle & I spending time together. He started to really appeal to me on every level of attraction, desire, and longing. He truly wanted to enjoy life together while helping me. He was like the one good drug for me.

5. Delicate -I recognized how fragile people are after what I went through. I realized Kyle & I were in a vulnerable, fragile, delicate place. I decided to make sure this was going to be something-despite our reputations, despite my past abuse, & despite the world around us because “he likes me for me.” I was not going to hurt him. I started to express my feelings for him despite my self-doubt & worry & fears about starting a new relationship.

6. Look What You Made Me Do -I took my DV situation to civil court. After I found the dating account of me, I knew I had to do something to fight back for myself and my reputation. The pre-chorus is everything. “But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time. Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time. I've got a list of names and yours is in red, underlined- I check it once, then I check it twice.” And of course, “The world moves on, another day, another drama, drama. But not for me, not for me, all I think about is karma. And then the world moves on, but one thing's for sure. Maybe I got mine, but you'll all get yours“ because sure, maybe I was not the nicest breaking it off and maybe his “revenge” hurt me and was “karma,” but surely his and his friends’ karma would come around sooner or later. (P.S. It does)

7. So It Goes... -I started to really focus on Kyle now that my abusive ex could not contact me with the emergency restraining order placed.”All the pieces fall right into place,” describes my initial feeling at this time. Then, “I’m yours to keep and I’m yours to lose. You know I’m not a bad girl, but I do bad things with you.” I was not sure if we would become something or fall apart, but he had either option available as long as I got to experience him. I was not the bad person everyone was making me out to be. With him, I could be and feel bad, but it would be perfect. “You did a number on me, but honestly baby, who’s counting? I did a number on you, but honestly baby, who’s counting? Who’s counting....? 1,2,3-” Despite my ongoing court case, we were so connected and fragile and yet hopeful of things one day turning around for us to be together in our own safety & privacy. He went through a LOT to just hang out with me, but he kept choosing to despite all my abusive ex tried to threaten/harm him. We did numbers on each other but we wanted to keep counting them together.

8. Gorgeous -This track brings me back to the New Years party. We literally would not talk to each other until about 4 hours in when we both wanted to leave the party. “You should take it as a compliment that I’m talking to everyone here but you.” We talked to everyone but each other but kept slyly eavesdropping in & watching each other socialize. This goes with, “You’re so gorgeous. I can’t say anything to your face cause look at your face. And I’m so furious at you for making me feel this way, but what can I say? You’re gorgeous.” He later came up and asked if I wanted our own hotel room; I obviously said “sure” as shyly as ever. He got our own hotel room and we talked nonstop. We stayed up for 24 hours straight that night. He was super gorgeous & perfect, and I finally got the courage to invite him over for our New Years Day party before we left. He promised to be at my house later that day. “You make me so happy, it turns back to sad. There’s nothing I hate more than what I can’t have. Guess I’ll just stumble on home to my cats...alone unless you want to come along.” So perfect, except I have 2 dogs instead of 2 cats, (sorry Tay) but he came along!!

9. Getaway Car -I was getting away from my abusive ex with Kyle. First, I blocked him and cut all ties- “It was the great escape, the prison break. The light of freedom on my face, but you weren’t thinking & I was just drinking.” Kyle & I were enjoying each other’s company without wondering if my abusive ex was going to attempt to destroy us. I started to question why my abusive ex did not see this coming-I had left an old boyfriend for him years ago. Why was he even questioning that I took off with someone new when he saw it happen years prior? “The ties were black, the lies were white. In shades of gray and candlelight, I wanted to leave him. I needed a reason,” I just finally knew I wanted out, but he (ex) always made me at fault like I had no legitimate reason to leave even when I did. “You were driving the getaway car. There were sirens in the beat of your heart. Don’t pretend it’s such a mystery- think about the place where you first met me.” Kyle & I were making my getaway together. It was no mystery and it should have been expected by my ex. I found someone who saw my worth, of course I was getting away for good, even if this one didn’t work out too. One day my abusive ex literally chased/tried to drive Kyle off the road. Kyle called me freaking out and this depicts it well- “Well, he was running after us- I was screaming, ‘go, go, go’ with the 3 of us honey, it’s a sideshow. And a circus ain’t a love story, and now we’re both sorry.” I wanted my abusive ex out of our picture. I never asked for a love triangle; I never asked for him to literally come after us in person & online. I did not want my abusive ex anymore.

10. King of My Heart -In March 2017, Kyle & I made us official. We just had our one-year weeks ago!! (yay!) First, “cause all the boys & their expensive cars, with their range rovers & jaguars never took me quite where you do” is now a joke between us because my abusive ex was obsessed with his car & materialism. I hated it. Anyway, Kyle has literally & figuratively been there for me more than anyone, ever. This clearly translates into, “And all at once, you are the one I have been waiting for-king of my heart, body & soul.” I finally found someone to cherish & love & take care of all of me, even the broken parts of me. And finally, “Is this the end of all the endings? My broken bones are mending with all these nights we’re spending up on the roof with a school-girl crush, drinking beer out of plastic cups, say you fancy me not fancy stuff, baby all at once, this is enough.” Back to our materialism jokes & fun with an addition of all our times enjoying drinks & each other & just being happy while I was finally healing with him. I have the painting/poster above my bed!!

11. Dancing With Our Hands Tied - We were literally like...dancing with our hands tied. We were trying to become a couple while facing my abusive ex and trying to not be bothered. I was in a bad state when we first met due to the abuse.“My love had been frozen deep blue, but you painted me golden.” Kyle fully believed me & wanted to help me; he offered to take the stand for me in front of my abusive ex in court on my final hearing date. So, “I had a bad feeling, but we were dancing. I-I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us. Oh, baby can we dance, oh, through an avalanche? Say-say that we got it. I’m a mess, but I’m the mess that you wanted. Oh, cause it’s gravity keeping you with me.” I LOVE THIS ONE because he literally had no reason to stay with me with all my past was putting him through. It was a constant state of waiting for him to leave me because of all the harassment towards him and my being in a very poor mental/emotional state; it was like gravity was the only reason he was still there for me, cause no one was there for me altogether. He fought it all for me, regardless.

12. Dress -We have been together for 1 year now. He actually just became an over-the-road truck driver, so we are long-distance until the weekend comes. So, “all of the silence & patience, pining, & desperately waiting, my hands are shaking from holding back from all this-” literally describes Monday-Friday waiting for his arrival to have our 2 days together, Next, “Inescapable, I’m not even gonna try- and if I get burned, at least we were electrified.” This one is important because with him, I am no longer afraid of an ending since I even stood the chance with him. This is HUGE for an abuse-survivor. “Flashback when you met me, your buzzcut & my hair bleached. Even in my worst times, you saw the best in me. Flashback to my rebounds, my mistakes, my earthquakes, even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me. I woke up just in time, now I wake up by your side.” We hung out together years before this and he literally had a buzzcut and my hair was literally bleached and he was just cheated on while I was with my abusive ex and we just understand each other so well now, and we wake up together on the weekends, that’s a plus.

13. This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things -This one is a given. My abusive ex was constantly attacking me publically, damaging my personal belongings, damaging property, and degrading my reputation altogether. He was the reason my life could not just be...a nice thing. All of our mutual friends turned on me & became friends with him, to this day they all talk shit on me, and on my relationship, and my existence, but it’s okay. I met great people in graduate school, in a big, wide city with the world to ourselves (catch the reference?) At least my life is nice now. “Here’s a toast to my real friends-they don’t care about the ‘he said, she said.’ And here’s to my baby, he ain’t reading what they call me lately. And here’s to my mama-had to listen to all this drama. And here’s to you, because forgiveness is a nice thing to do...hahaha I can’t even say it with a straight face!!” This bridge just sums it up entirely. I found my happiness. I found genuine people. I used to constantly forgive him and now I don’t. I found how to live again.

14. Call It What You Want - First, after I won the final hearing, I felt better but knew they still felt that they won because it was obvious I was impacted during my hearing. So, “My castle crumbled overnight. I brought a knife to a gun fight. They took the crown, but it’s alright. All the liars are calling me one. Nobody’s heard from me for months. I’m doing better than I ever was.” I decided to delete my old accounts, created a blocked list of 40+ people I used to love, made new/private accounts, and went into hiding for the next 8 months. Hence why I was inactive on Tumblr for so long. Next, “all my flowers grew back as thorns, windows boarded up after the storm- he built a fire just to keep me warm.” After court, I was traumatized. My abusive ex kept hiding out in my neighborhood, wandering around my house/work, I had no sense of peace. However, Kyle understood me & decided to just shut the world out with me too, instead of anything better. He took care of me in every way. “All the drama queens taking swings, all the jokers dressing up as kings-they fade to nothing when I look at him.” All these cruel people used to be the only thing on my mind, the only thing that existed, and that suddenly went away when Kyle was near. “And I know I make the same mistakes every time. Bridges burn, I never learn. At least I did one thing right.“ My past mistakes with love no longer matter because I finally ended up somewhere I wanted where I was safe & happy. And of course, “’I recall late November, holding my head, slowly I said: you don’t need to save me, but would you run away with me’...? Yes.” Ironically, I flat-out asked him to just go private with me online and be cautious of those we talked to and he agreed to.

15. New Years Day -Flash-forward to New Years on 12/31/17 and we were finally happy. We went out to a hotel, just the 2 of us, enjoyed drinks at a bar, shared a tub-room, drank wine, and stayed up all night talking. In the morning, we were picking up bottles together like we did at our first moments, and it was the most precious moment after everything we had fought through to be together cause “I stay when it's hard or it’s wrong or you’re making mistakes. I want your midnights. But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year’s Day.”

THANK YOU FOR READING, UNDERSTANDING, INTERACTING. ENOCURAGING, & EMPOWERING OTHERS. THANK YOU TAYLOR FOR THIS RECORD. IT SAVED MY LIFE. IT MADE ME-ME AGAIN. @taylorswift @taylornation @tree-paine I AM NOW BRAVE ENOUGH TO TELL MY STORY, THROUGH MY TRUE reputation.

I ENCOURAGE OTHER SWIFTIES TO DO THE SAME. THIS TOOK ME 3.5 HOURS TO WRITE. PLEASE, PLEASE TALK WITH ME! :)

798 notes · View notes

choicesfanatic86 · 6 years

Text

TTS: Part 23 - Part 1/2 (Liam x MC)

DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to Pixelberry Studios, except characters unique to my story. Those belong to me. ;)

PAIRINGS: Riley (MC) x OC, Riley (MC) x Liam, Liam x Riley (MC) x OC, Olivia x Drake, Bertrand x Savannah, Maxwell x OC

SUMMARY: Are you talking about Andy? Or are you talking about yourself?

If you are new to the series and would like to catch up by reading previous parts, please check out my master fan fiction listing. CATCH UP HERE

TAGS: @herladyshipxx @theroyalweisme @blackcatkita @devineinterventions2 @hopefulmoonobject @captainkingliam @pbchoicesobsessed @cocomaxley @queencatherynerhys @mfackenthal @boneandfur @spetstoof @bobasheebaby @grapefrults @pessimystic-fangirl @dralenamax @mspaigemoore @drakelover78 @kaitycole @jayjay879 @hhiggs @umccall71 @penguininapinktuxedo @topsyturvy-dream @decisso @pnhanga @ladynonsense @mrs-simmy @jamielea81

5/6/18 - Hi everyone! I needed to split Part 23 in half because it was so long. I didn’t intend for it to be this long, but here we are. =/ I’m going to release Part 2 at 12:00 pm HST. Thank you as always for following along and allowing me to bring you into this TRR AU. I hope you like it. :) And sorry in advance for the roller coaster ride. =P

EDITED - Thank you to all who caught the duplicate text. Especially for @bobasheebaby @hopefulmoonobject @umccall71 @mfackenthal for letting me know! Eeek, so embarrassing. =P It should be corrected now!

PART 23 - Where Are We Going? (Part 1)

Riley spent an hour and a half getting ready for the rehearsal. It was a good distraction from thinking about her relationship with Liam. . She had decided she wasn’t going to think about it tonight. With Liam gone, she was going to focus on spending time with her friends and celebrating Bertrand and Savannah’s soon to be wedding. She looked herself over in the floor-length mirror. She had chosen an elegant green dress for the night’s festivities. She had been obsessing over how she looked for the last twenty-minutes. Savannah had casually mentioned that there’d be a few members of the press at the rehearsal tonight as they’d be doing an article about the wedding. She’d be lying if she didn’t admit to being a tad bit nervous with the news about the press’ presence. Savannah had assured her that they’d already been told they were not to harass her; otherwise they’d be removed from the estate. That did little to alleviate her worries. They were the press after all . . . freedom of speech and all that jazz . . . she doubted they’d heed the couple’s warnings. She just hoped that they’d be civil and wouldn’t mention the trashy article that had been published in the newspaper last week. Things had stayed relatively calm in scandal land, and Riley had hoped to keep things that way.

She wandered down the staircase, searching for Andy or Maxwell or anyone really - anyone to help lighten the tension brewing inside of her. The estate was already bustling with activity. Caterers were moving hot plates and large buffet tables into the ballroom. Staff members were decorating various parts of the estate with beautiful floral arrangements. The Beaumont Estate had been transformed into something out of a bridal magazine. Riley had design-envy. She’d done her fair share of weddings in New York, but nothing of this magnitude. Everything was absolutely stunning.

She ambled toward the courtyard still searching for her friends. The courtyard was where the rehearsal and subsequent cocktail party was going to take place. Bertrand and Savannah had spared no expense for their wedding celebration. That much was clear. Not that she should have been surprised; everything leading up to the big day had been phenomenal. They deserved it, of course. The road to their happily ever after hadn’t been easy, and to celebrate it as grandly as they were, was well-deserved.

Not paying attention, she turned a corner outside and bumped into someone. “Oh, I’m so sorry,” she started to say, a glimpse of redhead caused her to bite her tongue. She braced herself for the storm of screams that would surely follow. When none occurred, she mustered up enough courage to look up at her. “Olivia, it’s nice to see you again,” Riley paused, waiting for the inevitable snarky retort.

Instead, Olivia greeted her with a tight smile. “Lady Riley, that green dress looks quite lovely on your skin tone,” she said politely, a bit too much teeth still bared.

Riley was startled. Had Olivia actually paid her a compliment? “Oh . . .” she stumbled over her words. “Thank you so much,” she murmured softy, inclining her head toward her direction.

“Don’t look surprised,” she said impassively. “Drake told me I’m supposed to be on my best behavior,” she narrowed her eyes at Riley. “For Savannah’s sake, I said I would, but that doesn’t mean we’re friends,” she snapped back.

“I would make no mistake on that,” Riley nodded, raising her hands up in defeat. “I’ll happily take cordialness over friendship with you any day.”

Olivia lingered, which alarmed Riley. Hadn’t she just said that they weren’t friends? She eyed the redhead suspiciously. “Was there something else?”

“I saw Liam before I left the palace today,” she said quietly, looking around to ensure that no one was within earshot.

“Oh,” Riley paused, unsure where she was going with the conversation.

“He seemed happy,” she said honestly.

Riley smiled lightly.

“Considering he was gone for an extended period of time, and upon his return he’d looked happier than he had in years, I’m assuming you’re the cause?” Olivia asked, looking her up and down.

Riley blushed. “I’d like to think we made each other happy,” she shrugged.

Olivia’s eyes darkened a bit. “Are you going to break his heart again?” she asked sternly.

Riley blanched. “What?”

“Am I going to have to endure watching my oldest, dearest friend be torn to bits over you again?”

Riley hesitated. “I thought we were being cordial,” she murmured.

“We are. If I wasn’t on my best behavior, I’d have you cornered somewhere with my finger in your face,” she said coolly. “I just need to know that you’re not going to hurt him again.”

“I don’t want to hurt him again,” Riley said quickly. That was the truth, after all. She had never wanted to hurt him.

“That’s not the answer I’m looking for,” Olivia said, a slight sneer threatening to break through her calm face.

“That’s the only answer I have for you, Olivia,” she said honestly. “We’re still figuring things out, okay?”

“Hmph,” she murmured indignantly

She was miffed. She made that pretty clear, but Riley could care less. She could play the same game. “So, speaking of relationships . . . how are you and Drake doing?” she asked, a slight insinuation in her tone.

“I’m not having that conversation with you, of all people,” she sneered.

“Hey now, you get to play twenty questions about my life, but I don’t get to ask you about yours? What kind of reciprocity is that?”

“Don’t assume to know what’s going on between us, just because of your friendship with him,” she hissed out. “We know where we stand with one another, and that’s all that matters,” she huffed.

“Really? Because I think your relationship is probably the worst kept secret at court,” Riley smirked, “But okay, we can play the don’t ask, don’t tell game, Olivia,” she shrugged. “I need to find Andy. As usual, it’s been a pleasure,” she sighed, as she went back into the house.

Olivia was left mouth-gaping in the courtyard, still stunned that Riley had the audacity to speak to her that way. So much for being cordial, Riley thought to herself.

As she walked back into the house, she noticed that there were far less staff members rushing around. Clearly, it was getting close to show time, which meant that people would start arriving soon. She really needed to find Andy and Maxwell. She needed back up when it came to dealing with any little courtly or media-related issues that developed.

She felt someone grab her elbow, maneuvering her over to the staircase. “Where have you been?” Andy fumed at her.

“I’ve been butting heads with Olivia, you know the usual,” Riley shrugged. “She got critical, I got critical and sarcastic. It was a mess. I’m sure I’ll hear about it from Drake later,” Riley mused. “Why, what’s wrong?”

“Oh, nothing, just the fact that Maxwell wants me to introduce me to everyone he knows,” she said in a panic.

“What?” Riley said, confused.

“He wants people to meet his girlfriend. Me!” She sat down on the steps, her hands shaking.

“And that’s a problem because?” Riley still wasn’t following. Just a few days ago, Andy had been over the moon about being his girlfriend. Now, she was freaking out about it.

“Because I’m going to mess things up. Apparently, that’s what I do. I say the wrong thing . . . or use the wrong utensil . . . or greet someone the wrong way,” she sighed. “I can’t do anything right,” she said sadly.

“Andy, you’ve got this. You’re endearing,” Riley said encouragingly.

“According to you. According to Bertrand, I’m a thorn in his side that won’t go away,” she huffed.

“He did not say that,” Riley eyed her pointedly.

“He didn’t have to. He tried to quiz me on fork etiquette this afternoon, Riley. Fork etiquette.”

Riley cringed. “I take it that it didn’t go well?” Riley shouldn’t have asked, because she already knew the answer.

“He looked at me like I was a moron. My mom went to Julliard, my father went to Berkley. I come from good genes, Riley. Yet, he gives me this look like I’m some unworthy peon,” she grumbled.

“Do you want me to talk to him?” Riley asked sincerely.

“No . . . that’s not a good idea. Not today at least. Or tomorrow of course,” she sighed. “Am I being ridiculous?”

“No, you’re not,” Riley assured her.

“How did you survive this, Ri?”

She opened her mouth to respond, but she couldn’t. Had she survived? She put on a good act. She was pretty good at faking it, but did she really survive court? She’d run away . . . and upon her return she had done everything in her power to avoid any sort of uncomfortable court experienced.

“I . . . I honestly don’t know,” she whispered.

“I don’t know if I can handle the constant scrutiny,” she said honestly. “I’m the kind of girl that lounges about all day eating junk food. I don’t know how these ladies have their “a game” on around the clock.”

Riley hummed in agreement. “I know, but at least you’ve got Maxwell, and he’s definitely not like Bertrand when it comes to this sort of thing. You know that right? Maxwell doesn’t care about court propriety and the like. What I do know is he cares about you quite a bit. Why don’t you just focus on that for right now, yeah?”

Andy nodded uncertainly.

“Let’s go find your guy so that we can get this party started, huh? Maxwell makes everything ten times better. Promise,” she smiled reassuringly.

True to Riley’s word, Maxwell did make everything better or at least distracted from the worry that was on both women’s minds. When they found him, he was setting up a very elaborate champagne display with a very large sword resting at its side. It looked as if he were preparing for one of his champagne fountain tricks.

“Maxwell, I thought Savannah said no swordplay . . .” Riley trailed off. “This very much looks like swordplay.”

“I honestly don’t think she meant it . . . did she?” A look of concern flitted across his face, but only for a moment. “Of course she didn’t mean it. This is magnificent,” he looked on his creation proudly. “It isn’t a Beaumont party without some swordplay.”

Andy looked on bemused. “What’s going on?”

“I think we may be witnessing the motive behind Maxwell’s murder,” Riley whispered tersely.

Andy’s eyes widened. “Should we stop him?”

“I’m not sure he’d listen,” Riley shrugged honestly.

An hour later, as guests started to gather in the entryway, Maxwell announced his gift of a toast in Savannah and Bertrand’s honor. Bertrand’s face during the entire exchange could be described as pained . . . not for fear of what was about to occur, but in the fact that he had to restrain himself from throttling Maxwell in front of all of his esteemed guests. Savannah, although she had been the one to nix the entire idea, looked on intrigued about the entire set up. He executed the breaking of the champagne bottles flawlessly as guests looked on in reverence. The champagne flowed freely into the set up of glasses that he arranged just perfectly.

Photographers snapped photos and were riveted by the performance. Riley later overheard Bertrand speaking to a reporter from the CBC.

“Why of course, Maxwell has always been a bit on the theatrical side, but my goodness, was that show not just amazing? Leave it to my brother to wow a crowd,” he said with a broad grin on his face.

Riley couldn’t help but laugh. It was such a typical Bertrand reaction. As long as the image was positive, he’d embrace it.

Riley, Andy and Maxwell mingled for the rest of the time. She recognized a few people from court who she interacted with during her social season, and they politely greeted her. Thankfully, she hadn’t found herself in any sort of uncomfortable situation with the press, for which she was very grateful. She didn’t think she’d be in the mood to deal with any of that tonight. Just as she was about to suggest they get another drink, Maxwell spotted someone across the room. He grabbed Andy’s hand before turning to Riley.

“If you’ll excuse us, Riley. I want Andy to meet by Great-Aunt Mildred,” he said quickly, leading Andy off in the other direction. Andy’s eyes looked at her pleadingly, but Riley just shook her head at her friend, waving her off.

Riley picked up another glass of wine, when she spotted Drake out of the corner of her eye. He was approaching her fast and looked none too pleased.

“Did you harass Olivia this afternoon?” He said angrily.

She raised an eyebrow at him. “Hi Drake, I’m fine thanks. How are you doing?” She smirked as she took a sip from her wine glass.

“I’m serious, Lawson. She went on and on about how you verbally attacked her in the courtyard earlier.”

Riley snorted. “Really? Olivia Nevrakis needs you to fight her battles for her? So much for crushing one’s enemies huh?”

“Come on Lawson. I’m catching enough flack as it is. She said you were bombarding her with questions about our relationship,” he explained.

“I did not harass her. It was the other way around. She started getting all defensive about Liam so I gave her a little taste of her own medicine.”

Drake closed his eyes, miserable. “What did you do?”

“Nothing that she didn’t do first,” she snipped. “I just asked her about your guys relationship is all,” she shrugged. “I didn’t realize she was going to run and tattle on me,” she shook her head in disbelief.

“Lawson, will you just leave it alone?”

“What? I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true,” she exclaimed. “Look, I’m not one to be handing out advice. I mean, my own life is pretty screwed up, but I’m just saying if you care about her . . . if you love her . . . why the hell are you beating around the bush? Just be out with it. Love each other. Cherish each other.”

“I’m not exactly marriage material, Lawson. The set up we have going on is fine. We’re not hurting anyone,” Drake tried to brush her off.

“Except maybe yourselves,” she said honestly. “You know what I would have given to be able to have a public relationship with Liam. Don’t you realize how fortunate you guys are?”

“I never really thought of it that way,” he shrugged.

“Why the hell wouldn’t you want to shout it from the rooftops if you could, Drake?”

“I don’t have a title,” he said simply. “That’s all anyone would ever look at. The commoner with the Duchess. And yeah, that never mattered to me before, but when you have somebody like Olivia . . . it’s kind of important.”

“A title is a title, it doesn’t determine who you are as a person, Drake. You of all people should understand that. Besides, if it mattered that much, why is she even with you? And don’t say it’s just about the fooling around, because we both know it’s more than that.”

He bowed his head in defeat. “Anyone ever tell you that you’re annoying when you’re right?”

Riley smiled in victory. “Maybe once or twice,” she winked at him, and as she was going to say a bit more, she felt a tap on her shoulder.

“Lady Riley, you’re looking stunning this evening,” Liam murmured from behind her. “Drake,” he nodded at his friend.

“Liam,” she said in surprise. “I didn’t think you’d be attending tonight.”

“And that’s my cue to go find Olivia,” Drake said. “Thanks, Lawson. I’ll catch you later,” he waved as he went searching for his redhead.

Riley and Liam nodded as he left, their attention turning back to one another. “Francesco was kind to me tonight. He didn’t chatter my ear off about sports or the like,” he chuckled. “Figured I’d take my chances and see how the Beaumont rehearsal was going,” he said. “How’s everything going?”

“Well, the rehearsal lasted all of ten minutes, and then it turned into just another Beaumont party,” she laughed. “I’m really glad you came,” she whispered.

“Me too,” he winked at her.

They walked around the courtyard, chatting quietly, careful not to draw too much attention to themselves. They found themselves in one of the corners of the courtyard where they firmly planted themselves. Thankfully, no one seemed to pay them any attention.

“So, why aren’t you off mingling? Usually I wouldn’t have the luxury to see you until much later in the evening,” she asked, seeing that there were many noblemen and diplomats that he probably should schmooze with, at lease for the sake of propriety.

He glanced over, shrugging slightly. “I’m not in the mood for idle small talk,” he said, taking as sip of hi scotch.

She frowned noticing that he wasn’t able to meet her eyes. “Liam, don’t lie to me,” she said sternly.

He inhaled a deep breath. “I get to see these people all the time,” he said coolly. “I ran into Maxwell this morning as I was leaving . . . he reminded me that our time together is growing short.,” he explained.

“Oh,” she paused taking a sip from her wine glass. “You’re talking about me going back to New York.”

He frowned, giving a slight nod. “We haven’t talked much about what happens after you leave . . . if there’s anything after . . . I just don’t want to squander any more time than I already have.”

“Oh, Liam,” she said sadly. She wanted to reach out to him, to pull him into her arms and tell him that she had the same fears; that she, too, was worried about what was going to happen between them. She can’t. Not here, there were too man prying eyes. People from court, members of the press. Even them talking to openly could be misconstrued. One wrong picture with the right story could cause another scandal to break. She didn’t want that added worry on his mind. “Do you want to go somewhere to talk?” she asked.

He looked around, checking to see if they’d be missed. “Yes, but perhaps you should go on ahead and I’ll follow after,” he nodded.

“My room then?”

He nodded, walking off toward the opposite end of the courtyard.

It took around fifteen minutes before he came to her room. She was certain he did a quick round around the courtyard to assuage any indication that they’d be meeting with one another.

“Hey,” she murmured nervously as he knocked at her door. She couldn’t pinpoint why she was feeling so nervous. It was just Liam after all.

“Hi,” He whispered as he entered her bedroom.

“So, let’s talk,” she said softly. “What’s bothering you?”

He hesitated for a moment, almost as if he had suddenly regretting coming into he bedroom. He stared hard at her for a moment, before finally clearing his throat.

“I know you didn’t come back for me, Riley,” he acknowledged. “I also know that you had no intention of letting me know you were even back . . . and I can’t help but wonder if Bertrand hadn’t told me about you being here . . . would we even be at this point? Wondering what we’re going to do about us? Wondering about the future?”

Riley looked at him carefully. He looked so vulnerable, so uncertain. That wasn’t like Liam at all. He always came across to collected, so self-assured. It was hard for her to take this Liam in.. “Liam . . . I know what you’re saying . . . I didn’t not want to see you . . . I was scared to see you again, because I knew what would happen. I knew this would happen, but now that it has, I’m so happy that we found each other again,” she said honestly. “I was confused before . . . and honestly, I’m still a little confused. Not about my feelings for you. I love you . . . but the future . . . it scares the hell out of me. I don’t know what to do,” she said honestly.

He ran his hands through his hair. “So what do we do then? Play it by ear?”

She shrugged. “Well, at least we’re not alone in this conundrum,” she said wistfully. “I’m sure Maxwell and Andy are having just as difficult of a time discerning what they’re going to do in the next few days.”

“Maxwell’s thinking of marrying her,” he said simply, catching her off guard.

She nearly choked. “W-what?”

“Bertrand talked him out of it course,” he explained. “Lectured him about propriety and how grossly negligent it would be without a proper period of courting,” Liam smirked. “Leave it to Bertrand to knock any sort of romance out of the situation,” he scoffed.

“Good God, don’t do that to me.” She put her hand over her heart. “I could have died right here, Liam.”

“You don’t approve of them marrying?” Liam asked, a bit surprised by her reaction.

“Marrying . . . no. Definitely not,” she shook her head vehemently. “Of course I approve of them being together. They’re great for one another, but marriage . . . that’s a big commitment,” she emphasized. “They’ve just met and they’re still learning about all of their little quirks. Getting married . . . that’s a forever kind of deal, you know what I mean? I just . . . I don’t want either of them to get hurt,” she said sincerely. “Besides, Andy has her future to think about. She’s in grad school, working on her thesis. She’s got all of these amazing plans for her future. I don’t’ want her to forget about all of that because she made a guy.”

“Are you talking about Andy, or are you talking about yourself?” He asked with a pained expression on his face. ht here, Liam.”

“You don’t approve of them marrying?” Liam asked, a bit surprised by her reaction.

“Are you talking about Andy, or are you talking about yourself?” He asked with a pained expression on his face.

#choices #playchoices #choices: stories you play #choices fandom #choices the royal romance #the royal romance #theroyalromance #the royal romance fan fic #trr fanfic #trr #trr au #trr fic #liam x mc #riley lawson

85 notes · View notes

literallyprentissstwin · 7 years

Text

Here to Help! - pt.7

masterlist pt.1 pt.2 pt.3 pt.4 pt.5 pt.6

Characters: Spencer Reid, Y/N Y/L/N, the team, medics, Michael, police, mention of Soraya and Linda

Warnings: angst, harassment, violence, swearing, hurt & comfort, talk about sexual assault

Summary: After a final showdown between Y/N and Michael, the truth is about to be revealed.

A/N: again, this got really long and I am not super hyped about the way it turned out, this is why feedback is more then appreciated here :)

“Did you find anything out about this Michael guys?”, Spencer asked as he and Morgan entered the conference room.

“Oh come on, boy wonder. I always find something out.”, Garcia joked as she clicked the button and a picture of a man came up on the screen, “Meet Michael Dugan, 28, only child which grew up in Fairfax, Arizona but moved to DC when he was 8 years old because of his father´s deployment. His parents are both deceased. After highschool, he attended college and studied to become a nursery school teacher. About three years ago, he started working at the central kindergarden aka the working place of out beloved mystery woman Y/N. He works in the same group as Y/N where they take care of 24 three to six year old kids. This was all I could found. He wasn´t arrested, nothing. He seems pretty normal.”

“But something definitley is not normal about this guy. When we left the work place, Soraya, Y/N´s best friend, came up and told me that Michael and Y/N had some fights about work related stuff and that she witnessed him threatening Y/N at work once. Y/N told her some of this when she has been there the other night.”, Reid told the team.

“So...you think Michael has something to do with this character change of Y/N?”, JJ recaped at which Spencer nodded. “Yes, I think he is the trigger.”

“Wow...okay, but we need more evidence then this to go up to him and confront or possibly arrest him. Otherwise, it could warn him that we know about what is going on and he´ll take his revenge out on Y/N.”, Emily said.

“She´s right. We might now know that he is the trigger, but we need more.”, Hotch sadly confirmed.

“Well...Linda, another co-worker of Y/N, gave me the number from which Y/N had called this morning. Maybe I could try and call her? Maybe I´m lucky and she´ll answer the phone.”, Spencer said.

“It´s worth a try!”, David agreed as Reid got up to go to his desk to make the call. He sat down in his chair, the lack of sleep finally consuming him and being noticeable. He felt exhausted, both physically and mentally, but nevertheless, he gathered himself before he typed the numbers in and pressed the call button . For a few seconds, he only heard beeping, telling him that the phone was still working. After a few more seconds which felt like a lifetime, he heard her voice. She sounded tired and sad, just like him.

“Hey...it´s me!”; he carefully said because he did not know how she would possibly react.

“Spence...how did you get this number?”, she asked, confusion in her voice.

“I wanted to come and see you at work today, b-but LInda told me that you called in sick for the whole week and gave me this number. Are you okay?”

“Spencer...I...”

“I miss you.”, he suddenly said. A short moment of silence came up which was borken by the doctor, “please, come back home. I need you, Y/N. Whatever it is, we can fix it together like we always do.”

“I-It´s not that easy. I-I miss you too. So so much, but I can´t.”

“Why? What is holding you back?”

“I-I-I don´t know to be honest...”

“Can we at least meet up to talk?”, he offered, already thinking that she would decline the offer directly.

“I-I would love that. What about a dinner date? I might be returning back to work on Wednesday since the meds helped and I feel better.”

“Yes...yes, this sounds perfect. Let´s say I come and pick you up after work and then we´ll go from there.”

“O-okay, can´t wait! See you then, bye!”, and with that, she hung up. Spencer felt like half of the weight he was carrying has been lifted off of his shoulders. He got up to go and tell his co-workers about the plan, hoping that he finally would get some answers.

Spencer felt like time was passing by extra slow, but somehow, Wednesday came and he would be lying if he said that he wasn´t nervous. He was actually freaking out and could not focus on the paperwork in front of him. When it was time to leave, Morgan gave him a reassuring smile and Hotch told him to call when he needed help. Spencer grabbed his bag and keys and made his way to meet Y/N. It has been two weeks and a few days since he last had seen her and he would not know how this meet up would work out, but he was willing to figth for the woman he loved.

10 minutes (and breaking a few traffic rules) later, her parked outside of Y/N´s workplace. He checked himself in the review mirror, before he got out of the car and locked it. He was about to enter the building, when he heard two people talking loudly in the alley next to the kindergarden. He first did not have any second thoughts, not until he recognized one of the voices.

“Get your hands off me..and yes, you heard rigth. We need to stop meeting, okay?”, he heard Y/N say as he carefully got closer to the alley.

“No, we don´t and do you know why? Because I can make your life so much more miserable than it is already. Do you want Spencer to find out about our little secret, love?”, he heard a second voice he did not know, but the way he was talking to his girlfriend made Reid sick.

“N-No please. Leave him out of it. I did everything you wanted. W-why are you doing this?”, Y/N yelled. Spencer carefully took a quick view into the alley and saw Y/N, who was pressed up against the wall by a man Reid identified as Michael.

“How many times do we have to go over this, Y/N?”, Michael said as he cupped Y/N´s face with one hand and took a rough grip on her hip with his other hand.

“P-please, just leave me alone for once. Spencer will be here soon and he does not need to see this.”, Y/N begged, making Reid boiling with anger. He wanted to do something, but on the other hand he still needed more evidence if he wanted to put this creep behind bars for a long time. Michael smirked as Y/N whimpered before he went to unzip his trouser.

“No babe. We are just getting started.”

Just when Michael was about to get his hands back on Y/N, Reid couldn´t take it anymore and snapped. He ran into the alley, right towards Michael, pulling him away from Y/N and hitting him right in the face which cause the man to fall to the floor.

“You son of a bitch, get off her!”; Reid yelled, but Michael just laughed at him as he got up from the ground wiping away the blood from his nose.

“Oh look, you´re knight in shining armor is here to safe you.”, he hissed.

“Shut up!”; Spencer said. He usually was a quiet and collected person, but after what he just witnessed, he could not stay calm at all.

“Oh no, you don´t tell me what I do. But thank you by the way, for borrowing me your sweet little girlfriend. She´s quite a beasty one.” This was enough to let Spencer snap a second time. He grabbed Michael at his collar and pushed him up against a wall.

“You don´t ge to talk like that about my girlfriend.”, he yelled as he hit Michael for the first time.

“How does it feel to be pressed up against a wall, huh?”, the seconde blow came.

“You don´t get to treat Y/N or any woman like that.”, a third blow came and blood was running out of Michael´s nose, which surely was broken, his half conscious body hanging limp in Reid´s shaking hands, but a grin still spread on that bastard´s face.

“What is there to smile about?”, Spencer was about to hit him for a fourth time, when he heard Y/N call out for him.

“Spence, stop...please”, she begged, howering on the ground on the opposite side for the alley. When Spencer saw her fragile frame, looking at him with tears streaming down her face, he dropped Michael and ran over to Y/N, gathering her into his arms, but never letting Michael out of his sight.

“I´m sorry...you´re okay, babe. You´re safe with me!”, he tried to comfort her as he felt her shivering in his arms, his shirt wettening from her tears, but he could not care less.

“You´ll be okay. I´ll make sure of that!”, he kept on whispering like a mantra. When he felt Y/N calming down, he kept holding her into his arms while he parallel called Hotch, then the police and an ambulance.

“T-Thank you...”, he heard Y/N whispering as he hung up. He held her closer to him, showing her that she was not alone. If he only would have helped her sooner.

About 10 minutes later, the team arrived at the scene, getting even more concerend when they saw a police care and an ambulance standing around there too, since Reid only told Hotch that he needed their help with Y/N. As they parked the SUV, they got out and walked up to the scene, looking for Spencer who was sitting at the back of the ambulance with Y/N still in his arms. When he saw his friends, he carefully let go of her and went over to them.

“What the hell happened?”, Emily asked.

“I have been right all the time. I should have done something. I could have prevented this. I...”, the genius rambled. Hotch put a comforting hand on his shoulder in an attempt to stop his rambling.

“Take a deep breath. Everything will be all right.”, Hotch said.

“O-okay...well...”, Reid started, trying to find the right words. He suddenly did not feel that confident anymore.

“Start from the beginning.”, Morgan suggested.

“Okay...so as you know Y/N and I were supposed to meet up after her work shift finished to talk about everything. When I arrived, I heard her talking to someone in that alley. I went over to check who it was. It was Michael, he was clearly threatening her. She did not do as he wanted, so he said that he needed to tell me who she really was. And then...”, Reid stopped midsentence.

“Reid what happened then?”, Hotch asked.

“She was devasted, begging him to leave her alone. He did not listen. He tried to...he...he was about to sexually assault her and that was when I snapped. I kept hitting him, I was so furious, but Y/N held me back. Otherwise, I would have killed him.”, Reid finished; the team looking shocked but also angry and furious.

“Where is he?”, Derek wanted to know.

“The police already arrested him and took him into custody.”

“Morgan, tell them to bring him over to the BAU. We´re gonna help them handling him and this case.”, Hotch ordered as Derek went to got and talk with the police officers.

“How is she holding up?”,JJ asked as she nodded towards Y/N, who still sat on the back of the ambulance wrapped up into a blanket, starring down onto the ground.

“She tries to be strong and not loose it. She only told me bits and pieces yet. The medic examined all her bruises and gave her some painkillers. She does not need to stay at the hospital luckily.”, he said as he tunred around lookin at Y/N, “the physical wounds will be gone sooner or later. It´s more about the psychological damage, I´m concerend off.”

“She´ll need your support to get through this.”, Rossi stated.

“Yes and she will have it. I´m not letting her go anymore.”

“Y/N?”, JJ said to the woman who sat opposite of her in the interrogation room. It was the only free room at that time being and Y/N knew that Spencer and some other cops or agents would probably be behind the glass, but to be honest, she did not care anymore. She was sick and tired of hiding it any longer. She finally wanted the nightmare to be over and to go back to her old life. She would have told it anyone, but she was glad that JJ was the one interrogation her. It would make talking about what happened easier.

“Y/N!”; JJ said again, a little louder this time.

“I-I´m sorry, what?”, the womand asked, not having listened to a word JJ had said.

“I just asked if you could tell me when it all began.”, the blonde gave the frightened woman a sad smile.

“E-ehm, I don´t quite remember, but I guess ever since he started working at the kindergarden. Though he was different at the beginning.”

“How?”

“Well, he joined us in the group when I wasn´t dating Spencer yet. He kinda directly told me after a month or so that he was in love with me and kept asking for dates. Each time, I tried to tell him in the politest way that I was not interested. He let it go until I met Spence and we started dating. That´s when he began to change.”, Y/n explained.

“How did he change?” Did he get aggressive towards you?”, JJ wanted to know.

“At first not. He just started asking me out again. I had this feeling that he was actually jealous of what Reid and I had. Then, when we moved in together a few months ago, it kinda escalated. He began to threaten me. He passed me over in the alley, he locked us in during our break to be alonewith me. And then...he got more physical.”

“What do you mean?”

Y/N gulped. How was she supposed to tell this?

“One day, after work, he waited for me outisde a-and he grabbed me and pulled me into this freaking alley. He was talking weird things I did not listen to. But then..he..he began to touch me. It was awful. I tried to push him off, but he was too strong. I was just so weak. He kept telling me that I´ll regret that I have chosen Spencer over him and before he left, he said that if I would say a word to Reid or anybody, he would make sure of it that my life would get destroyed.”, Tears gathered in the woman´s eyes and she began fidgeting with her fingers. JJ put a hand over them, trying to comfort her.

“Y/N..I know that this won´t be easy, but I need to know. Did Michael every sexually abuse you?”, JJ asked almost in a whisper. A few tears slid down Y/N´s cheeks as she slowly nooded her head.

“It first happened when you guys had that case in New Mexico. He..he said that he needed to spend time with me and if I would not agree, he would tell Spencer that I would be cheating on him. What else was I supposed to do?! I had to agree. I knew the truth, but I also knew him and he would find a way to find even fake proof for his accusations. So we had this date and I somehow snapped at him and tried to run away and I screamed for help, but nobody came. He pushed me onto the bed and I tried to get him off of me, but I was too weak. I just accepted my fate. After he was done, he left me behind like a piece of trash and I felt so ashamed and dirty. I tried to erase all the evidences of what happened and decided to knot tell anyone about it. After that, he left me alone for a while. Then somehow, he got wind of our fight and it happened again and again and I wasn´t able to stop him.”

“Y/N, it´s not your fault, okay? Nothing of what happened to you. You tried to protect Spencer and yourself. You did everything you could.”

“But why do I feel like I failed? I let him rule over me, let him do terrible things to me, he made me feel worthless and like a piece of meat.”

“You did not fail. You won. I know it´s hard to see it that way now, but you did.”

“All I could think of was to protect Spence and what we had. It was the only thing that kept me going and holding on. I so desparetly wanted to tell him about it, but I just, I-I couldn´t. Michael made me feel this way. I´m so sorry...”, Y/N said as she broke down, sobbing. JJ walked around the desk to comfort her. She whispered her silent words of reassurances in her ear as they both heard someone slamming a door and yelling in the hallway...

A/N: last part of this series will be up tmrw :)

Criminal Minds Tag List:

@imagicana @marvelfanlife @illegalcerebral @milkandcookies528 @liz-a-22 @sunreid @reidoneshots @rachficrecs

Spencer Tag List:

@littledizzyhurricane @lookingforgalifrey @curlyreid

#criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds reader insert #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid angst #spencer reid reader insert #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fanfiction

61 notes · View notes

zaney-hacknslash · 7 years

Text

Hakkai’s Birthday

Skeptically, I looked at him. “I think this may be a bad idea.”

Looking more mischievous than usual, Gojyo grinned back at me. “Why? It’s your birthday.”

“Yes, but consider what happened to you on my last birthday.”

With a short pause, he rubbed the back of his neck and then admitted, sheepishly, “I don’t remember.”

“That’s no surprise.” I, of course, remembered clearly, but I decided to exclude some of the messier details, and said, “You drank your weight in hard alcohol, threw up nearly twice that amount—somehow—and passed out in the back yard.”

“Yeah, because it was your birthday.”

It bothered me that what I’d just said didn’t bother him in the slightest, so I shook my head, wonderingly, and said, “All I’m saying is that I would much prefer a quiet evening to myself, and perhaps some sake and cards, later, at a more appropriate hour. It’s only just five, you know.”

Gojyo frowned. “That’s so boring though.”

“To you, perhaps. To me, it sounds just right.”

“C’mon, Hakkai, be nice—it’s your birthday.”

I raised an eyebrow. “So you keep reminding me. Pray tell though, why do I have to be nice to you on my birthday? I should think it would be the other way around.”

Gojyo shrugged and took a quick drag off his cigarette. “I just mean I don’t wanna fight with you about what happened last year anymore.”

“Yes,” I smiled. “Losing gets quite tedious, doesn’t it?” I hoped he really would let the issue lie now. Every year he saw fit to harass me on my birthday, ignoring the fact that I’d rather keep to myself. I supposed he failed to consider that, once, I’d had a twin, and she’d been everything to me, and that I’d lost her. How could I possibly enjoy anything even resembling a celebration? Particularly when his way of celebrating was so distasteful to me.

Trying to sound apologetic, I added, just so he’d really understand, “I’m sorry, it’s just that I’d rather not spend my evening watching you get hammered and then babysitting you through the rest of the night.”

His otherwise perpetual grin melted at once into a scowl. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, it’s just that…if we start drinking now, I’m sure I’ll be carrying you to bed around midnight.” That would be the least of it, I knew. I’d also be holding his hair back while he was sick, and I expected I’d be cleaning up vomit at some point, and frankly I didn’t want to indulge his drunken prattle either, nor tolerate his incessant complaining the following afternoon. I couldn’t even guess how many times I’d have to pick him up off the floor.

However, I kept those thoughts to myself.

Just as quickly as it came, the scowl was gone, and the grin was back. “Not if you’re hammed too.”

“Gojyo,” I sighed, losing patience. “For two years now, you’ve done everything you could think of to get me drunk on my birthday, and for two years you’ve failed. Isn’t that enough?”

His eyes gleamed with sudden and rather disquieting triumph. “This year’s different, Hakkai. ’Cause I got you a damn sweet birthday present.” And then, with a flourish, he produced a large, green bottle from inside his jacket, and thrust it toward me. “Tah-dah.”

Reluctantly, I took it and looked it over. “Absinthe Verte.” I sighed and shut my eyes for a long moment. “Please tell me this is a joke.”

“Nope. Happy birthday!”

I opened my eyes again to give him an equally long, disapproving look. “Do you have any idea what this even is?”

“Some western, import thing, right? Cost me an arm and a leg. Check it out though—I’ve heard it’s bad ass: seventy-five percent alcohol. I heard it makes you hallucinate, and all kinds of crazy shit—it’s gotta get even you fucked up.”

It was very difficult now to keep my frustration to myself, and I knew that meant I absolutely had to remain calm. Still, I rubbed my forehead wearily. Of all the idiotic…

Forcing a smile to my face, I reminded him, “Oh, but I was so looking forward to the new rice cooker and gardening tools I requested. Weeks ago. When you came hounding me about what I wanted.”

“What, you scared you might actually get drunk?”

I hesitated to look the bottle over again. It seemed common enough, with its French label and its thick glass. The graphic of a naked fairy woman winked back at me, simultaneously coquettish and risqué. Still, it had been rumored to drive men mad, back in the day, and I couldn’t deny its potency.

“Not at all.” I handed it back to him, abruptly, and I could feel the smile threatening to fall jaggedly from my face and collapse into a frown. “I just think this is more along the lines of something you would want for your birthday. So you may as well keep it, and save me some outrageous amount of money.”

Gojyo looked a bit put-off at being so utterly denied. “Oh, come on, really? You’re not even going to have like a shot of it.”

“You don’t shotgun absinthe, Gojyo, and no, frankly, I’m not interested.” I said the words, but I couldn’t deny I was curious. If nothing else, it was something I’d never tried before.

“That really hurts, man. I spent a lot of money on this.”

I shot him a sharp look. “Don’t try to guilt trip me. It’s not my fault you didn’t listen, or that you spent too much money.”

Looking half-way to devilish, he smiled again. “Admit it, you’re scared. You haven’t been drunk in years, and you don’t remember what it’s like, so you’re freaked out to try this really cool, foreign, green shit.”

At that, I couldn’t help rolling my eyes. Here I’d always thought that someone who purchased a bottle of absinthe would be cultured and sophisticated.

“Well, you don’t want any. Fine. I get it. I’d be scared too if I was turning twenty-two and I hadn’t been drunk in years. But I’m not wasting my money.”

My stomach tightened with outrage at the sound of his obnoxious tone. That was the voice he always used when he wanted to peer-pressure me, and I hated it, because I could never quite predict whether I was going to give in before he did or not.

For one thing, in the face of my birthday, with memories of Kanan lingering in my head more tangible than usual, I couldn’t deny abandoning myself to the recklessness of intoxication sounded inviting.

That was certainly a bad reason to get drunk, so I did my best to stay strong, and I tried not to sound too irritated. “I’m not scared, Gojyo. Not for myself, at least. Though I am a bit nervous about what the notorious green fairy might do to you.”

“Let’s find out.” Before I could think to stop him, he was popping the bottle open, tilting it back to take a swig.

My eyes nearly fell out of their sockets. “Gojyo.”

He made a face. “Tastes weird.”

“You aren’t supposed to drink it like that.”

“Who says?”

“No one. Just culture.”

“You can though, right?” “You can, yes. But it’s not exactly the right way.”

He shrugged. “There’s no wrong way to get smashed. C’mon, man.” He offered me the bottle. “Just live a little.”

I glared at the bottle, and the flirtatious fairy simpered back at me. Her eyes were green, like Kanan’s.

Sighing, I took the bottle from his hand and sat down at the table. “I need water, sugar, and an absinthe spoon. Not to mention an appropriate glass.”

From the grin on his face I could tell he was trying very hard not to gloat about his victory. “What’dya wanna wreck it for?”

“That’s the right way to drink it.”

“Yeah, if you’re Earnest Hemmingway, or whoever.”

I raised an eyebrow at him in surprise.

His shot up as well. “What?”

“I’m surprised you know who that is.”

Gojyo laughed, “I don’t!”

Sighing, I turned the bottle around on the table in front of me, trying to make sense of the French words, but that wasn’t a language I was familiar with, and I could only make out a handful of them. Of course, the recipe for Hemmingway’s notorious death in the afternoon was on there, but we had no champagne either.

“C’mon, Hakkai.” Gojyo slammed me on the shoulder. “Let’s get the knot out of your panties—just for tonight.”

“On your birthday,” I muttered, “we’re going to do what I want to do.”

And then I tossed the bottle back.

I stared up at the clock, and its blurry face stared back at me. I blinked, trying to make sense of the time. Next, I stared down at the absinthe bottle, where the green fairy seemed to dance, even though I had thought Gojyo tore the label off long ago. When I studied the fridge, I saw it tacked up there, swaying in a graceful rhythm. Our absinthe was more than halfway gone, but I couldn’t account for where it had disappeared to. I looked up at the clock again, watching the minute hand go around, seemingly backwards.

“Dude,” Gojyo called. “What’s up?”

Slowly, I turned to him. There were two of him now, and I didn’t know if I liked that. Two Gojyo’s meant twice as much mess and twice as much chaos.

“Is it really almost eleven?”

He twisted around in his chair to face the clock as well. “Tha’s what it says. Hey, you were tellin’ me somethin’.”

“Where on earth did the last six hours go?” I gazed down at the bottle between us again, scowling at the green fairy, and she beamed, as if she knew where the time and the drink had gotten to, but wouldn’t tell. I still couldn’t understand how she could be in two places at once.

“We’ve been sittin’ right here.” Gojyo leaned back in his chair, blowing smoke rings. “What were you tellin’ me?”

“Oh…” I did my best to wade back through my thoughts, but they seemed hazier than usual. “I was telling you about my eighteenth birthday, when Kanan and I went to the… Where did we go?”

“Some museum.”

“Ah, yes, the museum.” When I thought back, I could picture that day easily—late September, and the leaves were changing, blowing across the streets of the city. There’d been a distinct scent of fall in the air, and the wind had whipped Kanan’s loose hair. She’d worn her prettiest dress, and I could almost remember the warmth of her hand in mine. “It was the science museum, if I’m not mistaken. We had lunch in the food court there, and then we spent the whole day getting lost in the exhibits. I remember she really enjoyed the animal displays…especially the foreign ones, like the African ones. Do you know how dangerous the hippopotamus is? It’s possibly the most dangerous animal in the world. Fortunately, we don’t have them here. Of course we have plenty of creatures that are terribly dangerous as well. Animals are strange. You know, I think the ones who don’t kill for food—take the moose, for example—are particularly deadly, because when they take it into their head to attack you it isn’t because they’re hungry. A hungry predator might let you go simply because it’s recently made a separate kill, but things like moose and hippos must have some entirely different reason for attacking human beings. It seems they’re simply irascible. If you encounter one, you have such a likelihood of being killed for no particular reason. And on the other hand, there are so many animals that are willing to cooperate with man—such as the Indian elephant, or the camels of the Sahara, and God I’m talking a lot, aren’t I? Why am I telling you any of this?”

Gojyo burst out laughing. He laughed so hard I worried he’d fall out of his chair. “Damn, dude, I don’ remember! I think I asked ya what your best birthday ever was.”

“Oh, that’s right. Well, in any case, it was the day at the museum with Kanan. She treated me, of course—she was quite a lady when it came to things like that—she even paid for my lunch and for ice cream from the stand outside. She was a true lady.”

Picturing Kanan standing out in front of the marvelous museum, indelicately licking a strawberry ice cream cone while the wind tossed her hair and skirt around, made my small heart ache unbearably. I downed another large gulp of absinthe and then blinked at Gojyo. “What about you?”

“Me?” he echoed, sounding caught off guard.

“Yes. What was the best birthday you ever had?”

He chuckled, starting a new cigarette. “Hakkai, ya don’ even wanna know ‘bout that. There’s a ton of sex in that story.”

“And that’s what made it the best? Obscene amounts of sex?”

“Unprotected sex,” he added, smirking at me.

“That’s gross,” I decided, taking another swig of absinthe. It really did taste terrible. I looked around, not for the first time, trying to think of some way to improvise the sugar water I would need to make it right. “This is terrible, don’t you agree? This must be one of the top five most disgusting things I’ve ever put in my mouth.”

Gojyo grinned, leaning closer, eyes gleaming with intoxication and cheekiness. “Tell me what the other four are.”

“None of them are what you’re thinking of.”

He fell back at once, laughing harder than ever. “Hakkai! Shit, man, I wasn’t thinkin’ ‘bout dick! Fuck, you’re nasty!”

“I said that’s not it.” I frowned at him. “You really can’t listen worth a damn.”

Ignoring me, he took the bottle so he could have a swig of his own. “For not likin’ it, you’re sure drinkin’ a lotta it.”

“We’re sharing,” I reminded him. “That’s part of sharing. I drink half, and you drink half. Isn’t that the unspoken arrangement here? If I let you drink any more than that I’ll likely be planning your funeral tomorrow. Though, I suppose planning your funeral will become inevitable, eventually. You act as if you’re determined to drink—or smoke—yourself to an early grave. At the rate you’re going, it can’t be too much longer now. That’s not especially fair, by the way, expecting me to plan your funeral after this lifetime of irresponsibility. If you were really my friend you’d at least attempt to restrain yourself, considering I’ve seen more than enough death already.”

Gojyo shook his head. “You are talkin’ a lot. Is it hittin’ you?”

“No,” I lied. “I’m bored. We should go somewhere.”

His eyes widened. “You wanna go somewhere? At ‘leven ‘clock at night?”

“What difference does the time make?” I wondered, getting up and walking very steadily to the coat closet to retrieve my jacket. “It’s the weekend, and it’s my birthday.”

“I thought ya wanted ta stay here.”

“Staying here is useless now that you’ve gotten me… That is, now that I’ve wasted so much time drinking with you. We may as well go out and see what goes on around here on a Friday night.”

“See?” A grin slipped slowly across his lips. “I knew you’re my age too. I fuckin’ knew it.”

Side by side, we clipped through the busy town, surrounded by people—old and young—bustling down the streets, chattering and laughing. Lights flashed and music blared, but I spent most of the walk paying close attention to each and every step I took so I wouldn’t as much as stumble, while Gojyo half-swaggered half-staggered next to me, and by the time I started to notice our surroundings again we’d reached downtown, where the noise and excitement was at its peak.

“No fighting,” I told Gojyo. “One thing I will absolutely not do on my birthday is break up a fist fight between you and some drunkard—not like last year. Last year, it seemed I was fishing you out of a fight every five minutes. I’m not doing that again. I will stand by and watch as you get your ass handed to you if I must, and I’ll even drag you to the emergency room if I have to, but I’m not stepping between you and someone else’s fist when you try to pick up someone else’s woman. I don’t think that’s unreasonable, do you? I wouldn’t expect you to do it on your birthday. All I’m asking for is a little common courtesy.”

Instead of answering, he wondered, “Wha’s with the swearing? You never swear.’

It must be because of the absinthe, I realized, but I wasn’t about to tell him that, so I said, “It bothers me that you didn’t answer me.”

“Duh. ‘Course, not gonna pick fights on your birthday. ‘Kay? Chill, Kai.”

I studied him. He didn’t seem all that drunk yet. Yes, he was slurring his words and walking unsteadily, and he had that unquestionably altered look in his eyes, but he wasn’t falling-down-stupid like I’d expected him to be, which made me question, again, where all the absinthe had gone. There was only a quarter of it left, and I couldn’t remember if I’d passed it to him even once on our way into town.

I hoisted it over my head suddenly to inspect the bottom, thinking there could be a leak. “Where is all this devil’s piss going?”

Gojyo paused to wrinkle his forehead at me in consternation. “Devil’s piss…”

“The absinthe, Gojyo.”

“I know. Jus’ not used ta hearin’ you talk like that. Uhh. What’dya mean? Where’s it goin’… We’ve been drinkin’ it.”

“Yeah, but…” I paused and started over. “Yes, but I mean… You’re drinking it too, aren’t you?”

“We’re sharing,” he told me, mimicking my voice and tone. “That’s part of sharing. See? I listen.”

“You’re insufferable,” I grumbled.

“I’m tryin’ ta drink it, but you’re bogarding it, man. I dunno where it went. I think ya drank a bunch of it.”

“Here.” I handed it to him suddenly and tucked my hands in my pockets. It was a cold night, and I wished I’d brought my scarf. “I don’t want any more.”

Dutifully, Gojyo took a sip and wiped his lips on his sleeve.

Immediately, I snagged it back from him. “Never mind. I just remembered—if you drink too much of this you’ll ruin my birthday, if you don’t just die.”

We popped into a club of Gojyo’s choosing. I was so intent on keeping myself under control—watching the way I walked and spoke and moved—I didn’t even notice the name of the place, and the next thing I knew I was standing against the bar, shoulder to shoulder with a sea of strangers, the low lights making every face mysterious, and the music was so loud I had to shout at the bartender to order a martini.

“Dirty!” I screamed at him, as he cupped one hand around his ear. “Very dirty!” I jerked my thumb at Gojyo. “He’s just having water!”

Gojyo rammed me with his shoulder, very nearly knocking me off-balance, and growled, “Don’t order for me, dick head!”

I received my martini and turned to look around the club, desperate for a place to sit, but there didn’t appear to be any chairs at all—it was just a massive dance floor, wall to wall with people grinding against one another.

“Why are we here?” I demanded.

Gojyo looked coolly at me through the haze of his cigarette smoke. “Ya wanted ta go out!”

“Yes, but why here? You know I’m not overly fond of places like this!”

“I was just cold! What did’ja want? The library?”

I glared at him. “Why are you fighting with me?”

“I’m not fighting with you, Hakkai! Drink your fuckin’ martini an’ chill the fuck out!”

Scowling, I sipped my beverage. I didn’t see how I could chill out at all with all the people jostling against me and screaming in my ear, and the god-awful music blaring, and the flashing lights threatening to send me into a seizure, and Gojyo being difficult.

Gojyo hooked his arm roughly around my neck. “Dude! Quit frownin’ like that! You’re gonna scare all the chicks away!”

“Is that why we’re here? To pick up women!”

“No! I’m teasing you! Chill!”

Before I could make my response, a woman crawled out of the crowd on the other side of me. She took a moment to hitch up her halter, seeing how she was just about to fall out of it—in fact it appeared to be a size too small—and then she smiled up at me with her ice-white lip piercing and glitter-coated eyelashes. “Hey, there!”

Immediately, Gojyo took his arm off me and turned away, engaging in conversation with the patron next to him, abandoning me in yet another awkward social situation.

“Hello,” I said back.

The woman proceeded to dance next to me, bumping her broad hips against me and pressing in close. “What’s you’re name?” she shouted to be heard over the music.

“Gonou—Hakkai! Cho Hakkai!”

That was my name. I’d picked it. Where on earth did I even get it? Destruction, that was me.

“Hakkai.” She giggled. “I like it! Do you wanna dance?”

I shook my head. “No, thank you!”

“Oh, c’mon!” She attached herself to my arm, fingers gliding up my bicep to my shoulder. “Don’t be shy! Dance with me!”

“I don’t dance!”

“Sure you do!” She slammed lightly against me, kinetic energy forcing me to sway in what was almost a rhythm.

“No, really! I don’t! It’s flattering,” I forced myself to add. “Very flattering! But no!”

She pretended to pout, but her eyes were bright with a hidden smile. “Buy me a drink then!”

“I’m afraid I don’t—”

A hulking man emerged from the crowd and stood behind her, bald head looking particularly shiny in the odd light. He had a huge septum piercing and his disgustingly long beard was damp from drinking. He glared down at me, booming, “What’re you up to, punk-ass? Tryin’ ta steal my girl?”

“No, I—”

She turned to him. “Oh! Don’t be such a Neanderthal! I was just talking to the guy!”

“Looks like he’s tryin’ ta pick you up!” he growled, moving in closer to tower over me. “Right, you little shit? Pickin’ up on my girl!?”

“As I said, no, I was just—”

“Smart ass son’vabitch!” One meaty hand snagged the front of my shirt, dragging me forward, while the other bunched up and cocked back for a strike.

I dropped my martini, ready to rip his arm off. My reflexes though. They weren’t as quick as—

His fist smashed into my face, knocking me back, and the next thing I knew I was slumped against Gojyo, staring up into his screaming face.

“Hakkai!”

I felt him holding me up, but I couldn’t make myself move for a few seconds. I counted them.

One, two, three…

Gojyo’s eyes flashed and turned dark. He heaved me to the side.

I made a grab at him. His slick jacket slipped through my fingers as he darted forward.

Disbelievingly, I watched him knock the huge man’s block off. The brute fell over backward and vanished into the crowd, likely out cold on impact. His girlfriend screamed. The crowd gasped, and everyone around us fell silent. Several more men surged forward—they were dressed as bouncers.

I got shuffled to the side all too easily and lost sight of my roommate in the chaos.

Someone gripped my arm. A concerned but unfamiliar face stared at me, yelling, “You okay?”

I pulled loose and stumbled away, looking around as if I was lost. I felt blood trickling down from my nose.

What the hell just happened?

My heart started to race. The crowd was in a frenzy, shoving against each other and screaming, running away and moving in closer, rolling back and forth like tides at the ocean, pushing me out and threatening to drag me back in.

When I finally had my senses again and was just beginning to charge forward to find him, Gojyo burst out from between the wall of people and grabbed me, shoving me ahead of him through the crowd. “Go, go, go!”

I heard tremulous voices cracking over the general din. Faces appeared in front of me, staring wide-eyed with gaping mouths, and then disappeared again as I was pushed past them.

Gojyo propelled me through the exit, out into the dark cold, and I nearly tripped down the stairs. Before I could right myself, he snatched the lapel of my jacket and dragged me around the corner, slamming me against the wall.

Face full of shock and looking pale in the shadows, he stared at me, cigarette busted in half and hanging from his mouth. I felt him grip both my shoulders. “Hey, you okay?”

Jerking away from him and cupping my bloody nose, I turned my back to him. Blood spattered the front of my sweater. I realized I was shaking and breathing hard, but I couldn’t understand what happened. I’d just watched that half-wit punch me in the face. How?

A voice bellowed through the quiet, “Don’t come back, if you know what’s good for you! Fucking gutter trash!”

“Shit.” Gojyo bumped me with his shoulder. “Let’s get outta here.”

Taking hold of me again, he led me several blocks away, to a less crowded part of the street, and then paused in an alleyway. “Are you okay?” he asked again.

I stared down at the puddle of blood in my palm. “That…miscreant hit me…”

“I saw…” He popped a new cigarette in his mouth and chewed anxiously on it. “Are you all right?”

Suddenly, I turned on him, shouting, “This is all your fault, Gojyo! I told you I didn’t want to be in there!”

“Hey, I didn’t know somebody was gonna—”

“No! But you knew I just wanted to stay home tonight! You knew I didn’t want to drink absinthe and go to a club and get hit on by STD-infested women! You know that’s what you want to do—not me! You’re so incredibly selfish!”

“Hakkai, woah!” He raised his hands. “I—”

“What’s wrong with you?” I insisted. “You just had to know what I wanted for my birthday! I told you again and again I didn’t want anything from you, but you kept pushing and pushing, and then when the actual event arrives I find you didn’t get me any of the things I asked for! You give me a bottle of alcohol I never wanted and a bloody nose from a bar fight in a club I didn’t care to go into! Why?”

“Hakkai—”

“No excuses, dammit! I understand why you don’t listen to me when I ask you to do something—you’re lazy and immature and stubborn—but why do you just ignore me when I ask you not to do something? Is this funny to you?” I wiped my bleeding nose, suddenly feeling like I just wanted to cry. “Did you just want a laugh at my expense?”

He stared at me for such a long time I felt sure he wouldn’t have anything to say at all. I felt sure he’d simply turn around and walk away without a single word.

Instead, he gave a heavy sigh, reached up to unwind the bandana from his forehead, and pinched it to my nose, too quickly for me to stop him, and so gently it didn’t even hurt. He tapped his head against mine. “Sorry,” he husked. “I don’t have an ‘cuse, Sunshine. But I’m sorry.”

Slowly, I took the bandana from him, applying pressure to the bridge of my nose. It smelled like sweat and cigarettes.

Suddenly, my head felt light, and everything seemed to spin. I leaned back against the cold wall, murmuring, “Why…does everyone think I can get you to do whatever I want? You’re the one who convinces me to do all sorts of things I don’t want to do.”

“I know,” he said quietly, lowering his eyes in guilt. “I’ma jerk.”

My best friend, who’d just demolished a man nearly twice his size like a wrecking ball against a building, for my sake, and who’d given me an article of his own clothing to stop the bleeding of my injury, was not a jerk. He was a lot of things, but that wasn’t one of them.

I threw my arms around him suddenly, pressing my bleeding face to his shoulder, and he held me up easily, while the world spun around and around. My stomach turned, and my knees buckled with weakness, and he’d never seemed so strong before. “I…miss Kanan…” I grated out, eyes stinging. “Even after all this time…”

Gojyo squeezed me carefully. “I know, Hakkai.”

“But I…I would never give you up…”

“Okay. I’d never give ya up either.”

Biting back tears, I held onto him all the tighter, and he let me.

After a few moments, he said, “So…this’s what you’re like when you’re drunk…”

“I’m not drunk,” I argued into his collar. “I’m just a little…”

“You’re drunk, Hakkai. Ya drank most that bottle by yourself. I mean, you ain’t human an’more, but you ain’t a machine…”

“I’ve drank much more than that in one sitting.”

“Yeah. Like I said though, that shit isn’t like normal booze. Give yourself a break for once.”

“Fine.” I snorted, standing up again, and the spinning worsened. “I’m drunk. You succeeded. I hope that makes you happy.”

“Not really. I didn’t know it was gonna be sucha shit storm. Shoulda known…” He gave a sad, wry, little smirk. “You’re a damn mess.”

Slowly, I looked away, watching the people passing on the street. Some of them gave us strange glances, but they continued to shuffle by, as they always had, not caring about the two of us. “I never thought I would be. I thought I’d be so much more than this.”

“There’s nothin’ wrong with you, okay? It’s just that ev’rybody can only take so much. An’ you took a lot, Hakkai. That’s all it is.”

I faced him. “How much more can you take?”

His already serious expression darkened a shade. “Not much, lemme tell ya.”

“I’ve always assumed I’d be in a padded room if I were you.”

Gojyo rolled his eyes. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“It was though. You—”

“I’m hungry,” he cut in. “Let’s go get breakfast.”

I let him guide me out onto the road again, absently dabbing at my nose. “It’s not time yet for breakfast.”

“Nah, but that’s what ya do when you’re drunk—eat breakfast.”

“That hardly makes sense.”

All the same, we walked a few blocks to a twenty-four-hour diner, and by the time we reached a booth in the back corner of the building, we were both stumbling rather badly, and I felt sick to my stomach. I rested my spinning head in my hands while the waitress served us coffee, and Gojyo perused the menu.

“Why did you let me drink so much of that awful stuff by myself?” I demanded quietly.

Gojyo lit a cigarette and even ashed a few times before answering. “I was tryin’ ta get ya drunk.”

“That…is so…uncool of you…”

“Like I said, I di’nt know it was gonna be like this. I just wanted ya ta forget ‘bout it for a coupla hours… All that nasty shit that happened.”

“How gallant,” I muttered dryly.

“Sorry. Really. If I knew you were gonna get all ‘gressive—”

“I’m not aggressive.”

“’Kai, you’re ‘gressive when you’re sober. Ya just hide it. Ya hide all kindsa shit. If I knew ya were gonna be ‘gressive, an’ moody, an’ sad I wouldnta done it.”

I glared up at him. There was three of him now. “As you pointed out, I’m like that anyway.”

Gojyo nodded, still skimming the menu. “I jus din’t know, ‘kay, dude? I wasn’t tryin’ ta…hurt you.”

Of course I believed that. Gojyo would never try to hurt me intentionally.

“Well, please don’t do this again. I don’t like feeling this way.”

His eyes flickered over the menu to meet my gaze. “I won’t,” he said flatly. “Drink your fuckin’ coffee.”

We ate our meals in relative quiet, and after I had some food in my stomach I did feel a bit better, so we struck out for home. The walk seemed to take twice as long as usual, and I had to try extra hard not to stagger as we went, so we spoke very little on the trip as well.

Back at the house, the lights were still on. Apparently I was intoxicated enough that I’d neglected to turn them off.

Inexcusable.

I dropped onto the couch, face first, trying to collect myself before going to bed. “When does the spinning stop?”

“Dunno. Whenever.” He sat down on the floor, leaning back against the couch. “You gonna be okay?”

“Presumably.”

“I’m really sorry, man. You’ve never been drunk like this before, huh?”

“Not exactly, no.”

Gojyo sighed. “Guess I fucked up your birthday—again.”

“Your intentions weren’t altogether horrible.”

“Right… Well, no worries. I won’t tell an’body I saw ya drunk. We can just pretend this din’t happen.”

“That would be nice, Gojyo.”

We fell silent again. I tried to focus on sleeping. To hell with shambling my way to bed—I was going to sleep right where I was, with my clothes still on, just like he did all the time.

When I’d nearly dozed off, Gojyo hissed, “Hey, ‘Kai. You ‘wake?”

“Mmhm.”

“Can I tell ya something?”

“Mm. Sure. Why the hell not?”

“I lied to ya earlier…’bout the best birthday I ever had.”

“Oh?”

“Not ‘cause it was the wrong birthday… It was still that one—with all the nasty sex.”

“I see.”

“I lied ‘bout the reason.”

“Ah.”

“The real reason…” He took another pause, and I detected familiar insecurity in his tone. “Is ‘cause…when I fin’ly dragged my ass home after all that, super fucked up, feelin’ like a pieca shit, you were there. Ya came to find me. Remember?”

“I remember I made plans to have dinner with you and you broke them. I went out looking for you so I could give you a piece of my mind.”

Briefly, he chuckled. “Yeah. That. We jus’ met right? Ya din’t know what a fuck job I am yet.”

“Goj,” I sighed. “You’re not—”

“It was shitty. An’ t’night’s shitty. I always do shitty stuff. That ain’t the point. The point is, when ya saw how blasted I was ya din’t yell at me for ditchin’ you. Ya took care of me. Ya din’t even make me say sorry. Ya made me feel like I mattered. And…I dunno… Havin’ all that, for the first time ever, meant a lot to me.”

I opened my eyes finally to look at him, and he half turned his head to look back from the corner of his eye.

Quietly, he added, “I always wished I could do somethin’ that awesome for you…but I know I can’t.”

“Gojyo,” I shut my eyes again, putting my arm around his neck. “Shut up. You do that for me all the time.”

#saiyuk #missions #cho hakkai #sha gojyo #hakkai's birthday #fanfic

3 notes · View notes

fatphobiabusters · 7 years

Note

Mod Ade can you please share your experiences of being fat and intersex? Any challenges with family, healthcare, academia, peers, work etc...

If you loves are okay with me making long posts, absolutely. I don’t know if you already saw my previous answer, but I touched on the topic a bit here: http://fatphobiabusters.tumblr.com/post/162494359738/question-for-mod-ade-you-said-you-are-intersex It’s more about my experience in general being intersex, so I’ll try and correlate also being fat in this answer.

**TRIGGER WARNINGS- child abuse, fatphobia, fat shaming, trauma, menstruation, self-harm, homophobia, intersex erasure

I’ll start with family since it’s the biggest topic for me. I’ll try and keep this short as possible because I could write an entire novel here, but I’ll focus on the major points. Having my intersex birth covered up and force raised as cisgender female was already hell and has left me with a lot of emotional damage. Being fat on top of it only added to the mess. My father did not want another child, but my mom did (he had children with another woman, so I have a half brother and sister both 15 years older than me who he thought were perfect since they’re both cisgender and skinny). Much less did he want one that was so “imperfect”, the complete opposite of my older siblings. I come from a white, southern, Christian family, so you can fill in the gaps there of the standards that were expected of me if you know anything about the disturbing culture of the deep south. Long story short, I had one parent who told me I was everything, and one parent who made me believe I was nothing. My father would harass and shame me to the point that I was too afraid to eat much or anything in front of him. Sometimes he would threaten to do things to my mother and even physically abuse her if I didn’t do what he wanted. My mother felt sorry for me, but wouldn’t go against him because of it, and would feed me extra portions in secret. Basically, it messed my metabolism all to shit and I could never keep my weight down, no matter how much I was made to exercise, starved, or put on diets. Growing up I was constantly put on crash diet after crash dietbecause my father was never satisfied with my weight (or my appearance in general). I was never good enough for him, even though I look just like him. To this day, even though he says he loves me and misses me over the phone, he still harps on me about my weight/appearance and refuses to accept me as his son. My mom loves and supports me though and if it wasn’t for her I would just completely cut ties with my entire blood family. Most of my immediate family refuses to also accept that I’m intersex, much less a man, and are disgusted about my weight. And they wonder why I never come home to visit anymore. It contributed a lot to my development of DID and later self harm.

Healthcare has been a nightmare. I’ve had a bit better experience since I’ve been in California, but even then it’s still not been the best. At age 9, I had my first puberty, and with it my first period. I don’t remember much (I have a lot of amnesia among my childhood memories from my DID that I'm currently working through in therapy) but I do remember crying and just feeling wrong. As I got older, it got worse and worse. But because I was labeled cisgender female on all my papers and my family constantly reinforced that I was, I was simply told to “suck it up” and that it was “normal”. I never had a regular cycle, it came and went whenever. Sometimes 2 weeks, sometimes 4-5 and every now and then up to 6 or more. Every time it registered 8-10 on those pain scale charts you see at the doctors, but I had to endure and ignore it because I only got reprimanded when I complained. I dealt with this all the way until nearly turning 30, which at that point I was bleeding black and had large clots that were full of decayed tissue more than blood. Last year I was finally able to get everything checked out and it turns out I had an abnormally formed uterus. Because of my second puberty, it was almost working against itself and practically a “dying” organ. I was able to be evaluated and approved for a hysterectomy, and I’ve never felt better. Back to weight though, in NC whenever I was taken to the doctor they always recommended to my mom anything to make me lose weight because I was “too obese” for a child (especially a “girl”), even though I had no problem carrying my weight. As I got older the same story. I’ve been seen about the sciatica on my right side, and my messed up back in general from carrying heavy art portfolios and working warehouse/builder jobs for many years. Every time my weight has been brought up, especially when I popped out my knee cap due to twisting the wrong way because someone parked like an asshole and I couldn’t get in. I’ve found some healthcare in the past year that has been more fat friendly, but every time I have to go somewhere new or for something new I get nervous that they’re just solely going to make it about my weight and not address the actual problem, or give me a proper diagnosis because they’re too hung up on my size. Perfect health record as far as blood pressure, diseases, tests, etc. go, but let’s ignore all that and point out I’m fat and “do something about it.”

Academic wise was no better. Children can be cruel, especially to those seen as abnormal or different than them. Sex Ed was a joke and I didn’t get a proper lesson on it till college, where I leaned that it was okay not to “fit the box” and that gender and sexuality were not black and white. Until then I felt very out of place and not belonging to either gender because neither of them really fit what all I was experiencing. Because I was forced to identify as cisgender female, being fat and “unattractive” got me a lot of unwanted attention. My size kept me out of most physical fights though, as I’ve always been big at a young age. And when I hit my second puberty, started putting on even more muscle mass along with the fat. I was constantly teased and ousted though for being so “weird” looking. My fellow classmates absolutely could not accept the fact that I didn’t look like (according to backward standards) one specific gender or the other. It just got worse as I got older and my body physically started shifting more masculine. I was seen as a freak, showered in my clothes when we had to take group showers for band trips or gym class (which eventually caused such a ruckus they had to separate me entirely), and taunted constantly to see how far they could push a rise out of me. Cisgender boys were curious about, but also downright cruel to me. Cisgender girls were disgusted by and afraid of me. It eventually got to a point where everyone just wanted to know what was in my pants or what was wrong with me. Homophobic remarks started going hand in hand with insults about my weight and appearance. I became more and more numb and reclusive and my mental illness worsened. Still, I maintained good school work at least, spending a lot of time alone. Graduated Valedictorian in middle school, Salutatorian in high school, and completed a Bachelor’s degree at a 4 year liberal arts college.

Among my peers now, I feel that I’m seen most often in a positive light as I’ve changed a lot from my days spent back home and have built an entirely new life out here in California. I still sometimes get confusion upon meeting new people and at times have a negative experience in public with strangers who don’t know me regarding my weight and looks. But overall the experience is good and I am often well received when I come out as intersex or share parts of my expansive history. I believe mostly due to surrounding myself with safe and understanding people, while cutting out a lot of toxicity (as well as unlearning that same toxicity) from my life.

Work has been about the same as academics, except not quite as explicit since I was a young adult when I started working. At college and coming back home I had issues with gender, especially when I had to use the bathroom. I always had to go into the women’s, and it was never a pleasant experience. I was also made fun of a lot for being the youngest (and one of the biggest) on shift. When I went to work for Amazon in TN, it was the first time I consistently went to the men’s bathroom (I had done so out in public places where I knew no one knew me, but not frequently). When I got promoted and transferred out to Cali, I continued the tradition. I would be lying though if said that there weren’t times I was very nervous about going in there alone because I did get some rude remarks at times, but thankfully no one was willing to lose their job over starting a fight because they didn’t like me being in there. As an assistant manager, most of my associates liked me as a supervisor and were favorable in working with me because I was a fair and helpful, but no nonsense leader. I got misgendered often due to my androgynous appearance and the high turnover in the line of work, but I enforced the idea that I was very much a man and would not tolerate any phobic remarks otherwise. I did have some who did not like the idea of having a younger, fat, questionable gendered person running the department and managing them. But at the end of the day, what I said went so they either had to deal with it or go find their bigoted ass another job.

Thank you loves for reading up to this point if you have, and I’ll end on this. If no one else has ever told you or made you feel that way, you are beautiful and so important. You are valid, you are loved, you are somebody, and someone cares very much about you. Never let anyone take your self worth away and deny your existence.

Apologies again for the lengthy post. Thank you for the ask!

-Mod Ade

#ade squawks #anonymous ask #long post #intersex #fat #fatphobia #intersex erasure #abuse #trauma #Ask

31 notes · View notes

come-join-themurder · 7 years

Text

Obsessive - Part 23

How long will The Reader be under SAMCROs watchful eye? (This will be multi parts so check back for my next installment. As always, if you want to be notified of my updates just let me know and I will message you when I post new chapters) **Disclaimer: I do not suffer from OCD so I cannot begin to imagine what it is like. Any and everything that I am writing is what I’ve learned from people I know and the internet as well as asking advice from friends who know more about it than me. If anything is wrong or inaccurate of someone with OCD, please excuse my ignorance, as I said I am asking questions to help with the descriptions but I’m sure I will get something wrong eventually.

Juice Ortiz x Reader

(GIF isn’t mine) __________________

The next couple of weeks dragged on. You were not only miserable, having Juice or Happy in your living room every night, but Juice was acting as if he couldn’t see the hurt all over your face every time you were forced to speak to him. Happy knew exactly what was wrong and had no idea what to do about it.

You thought, maliciously, that you would hurt him as bad as he hurt you, wanting to tell your dad that he had treated you like a crow eater and made you into a one night stand. Unfortunately your conscience wouldn’t let you do that to him. After all, you still had feelings for him and Clay would murder him, as would Jax, Bobby, Tig and probably the rest of the guys as well. Honestly you were surprised that Happy hadn’t caused a bigger problem with Juice than he had. You noticed they didn’t speak to each other, Juice wouldn’t look him in the eye either, and Happy made comments from time to time that made you feel like he was backing you on the whole ordeal.

You had begun obsessively cleaning again. Your OCD was out of control lately, actually, in overdrive. Nothing was ever right and you cringed any time someone walked in your apartment, disturbing your sense of peace. You realized how calm Juice had made you feel, how his presence had been a positive impact on your rituals, making them less burdensome when he was around. The fact that he had fucked you over made you even more upset upon realizing, though, because now you were obsessive like never before.

Aside from your elevated stress levels, things had started to get back to normal. In fact, none of your things had been touched or moved since the night Juice decided to blow you off. A part of you wondered, in some recess of your brain, if Juice had been moving things just to worry you and stay close to you, and maybe the break in was an isolated incident, but then you remembered the shadow that first night you slept with Juice and you knew someone was definitely still poking around. Now, though, it seemed all of the stalking and whatnot was over with and it was safe to say you were relieved that you would soon be rid of Juan Carlos Ortiz. You had spoken with your dad the day after Juice called you a mistake and told him you felt safe again. It was a lie but you felt it necessary to get away from him after what he did to you, and the longer you had to look at his face the more you wanted to toss him under the bus. Finally, Clay relented, telling you that if nothing strange happened for two weeks he would take everyone except a prospect outside off of you. That was good enough for you.

As the second week since your fall out with Juice and talk with your dad came around, you were eager to hear from Clay as to whether or not he would keep his promise and get Juice away from you. Things were tense in your apartment and it was obvious Happy was not happy about being stuck between the two of you quarreling. Juice had opted to stay outside for the night and you and Happy were inside on the couch watching the History channel when you heard Juice’s cell phone ring from outside. After a moment Juice unlocked the door with his key and opened it, stepping in and completely avoiding your gaze to speak to Happy.

“That was Clay. He wants us at the clubhouse, now. Church. Both of us. He said leave the prospects,” he filled the man beside you in on his conversation. Happy furrowed his eyebrows and looked at you, “You gonna be alright?” he asked and you nodded in return so he shrugged and stood to follow Juice out. Juice was afraid this would happen. He suspected one of the topics in church was going to be pulling him and Hap off of your detail and he was praying that wasn’t the case. He knew you couldn’t be left alone with that freak able to come and harass you whenever he wanted. Over the last two weeks, Juice had searched for anything that would give him a clue as to who had threatened him, of course turning up short. Whoever the threat was, he knew how to keep a low profile.

He and Happy didn’t speak on the walk to their bikes at all. Happy had made it abundantly clear that what he had done to you was not okay with him and deep down Juice hated himself too. He knew you were trying to act tough, mask the hurt you felt under a hateful glare and generally acting as if he didn’t exist. It was killing him, knowing that he had feelings for you and couldn’t show them. When you turned away from him two weeks ago and he knew you were crying, he wanted nothing more than to be the one to wipe your tears away. It was starting to feel like that’d never happen.

The gavel slammed down and it was like nails on a chalkboard to Juice’s ears. He really didn’t want to be in the chapel at the moment, his brain drowning out Clay and Jax’s voices as he thought about the envelope in his home. The sound of his name snapped him back to reality.

“Juice. You listening?” It was Chibs who sat across from him that was calling his name while everyone else at the table stared. “Yeah, I’m here,” he sighed, looking up to the head of the table where Clay was sat. “You and Happy are going back to your regular schedule. (Y/N) said nothing strange has been going on for a while so it looks like the threat is past,” Clay told him and he nodded slowly in response and the gavel slammed down, releasing the men from their obligations for the day. This was it, Juice thought. He had to talk to Clay, at least tell him that you were still in danger. He just had to figure out how to do that without incriminating himself.

He was still sat in his seat, staring down into his lap when the room cleared, save for Jax and Clay who had their eyes on their Puerto Rican brother. “What’s going on, Juice?” Jax asked, turning his body towards the younger man.

Juice kept his eyes down for a moment before taking a deep breath and forcing it out, looking up at his President and VP. He lost his nerve. He couldn’t do it, not right now.

“Nothing,” he forced a weak smile and the two officers narrowed their eyes at him but stood anyway, heading out of the chapel and through the bar. Its not nothing, he thought as he sat alone, staring at the reaper carved into the tabletop, “Its NOT nothing,” he whispered aloud to himself, tapping the wooden surface with this knuckles as the contemplated to himself. Juice knew the only way to protect you was to be with you, and that order had to go through Clay. If he allowed you to spend a night unprotected, anything that happened to you would be his fault. He couldn’t let it happen. He couldn’t allow you to get hurt because he was too afraid to oppose Clay and Jax.

#Juice #Juice ortiz #Juice imagine #Juice ortiz imagine #obsessive #soa #soa imagine #sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy imagine #happy lowman

162 notes · View notes