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#fuck you i know that what they’re saying is bullshit but i get so mad when a WOMAN tries to strip me from my freedom as human being to live
10nest · 1 year
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a colleague of mine (around 36) was complaining about her husband not doing anything around the house and she told me “appreciate the time you have for yourself right now before you end up having to clean after a man”
i told her that i don’t fucking wanna have a husband or kids and she told me that everyone thinks like that when they’re young and that at some point ill also want a family
bitch you’re right maybe i will but honey i’m gay and gay marriage is so illegal in this goddamn country also i have trauma connected to marriage because of my parents and also i have so many things that i wanna do that i don’t even know how to fit into this short life. we are different honey, im not settling for this.
yes maybe i do want to have a family someday but i don’t want the thing that you call “a marriage”.
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kennedybaby · 6 months
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HOW DID YOU GET THAT WAY?
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YOU DON'T EVEN HIDE HOW YOU FEEL.
18+ / semi-rough sex, exes fucking, female! reader. that's all. i giggled while writing this.
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Letting Jason into your apartment past midnight only meant one thing. It's arguing slash fucking. Sure, it's a bad combination, you're his ex— his favorite ex. At least, that's what he told you. Being a hopeless romantic with a pussy that longs for no one but your ex, you happily let him inside when he decides to come over after patrol.
Jason knows you love it. As much as he hates letting you get under his skin, he loves taking out his anger on you.
“Fuck you.” Funny.
He's been trying to get your shorts off while you blabbered about how Roy and you have been flirting back and forth. It’s dumb, he shouldn’t care that his ex and his best friend are flirting with each other. But he does. That’s why he’s here, holding you down to the couch with his jeans gathered around his ankles and his throbbing cock pressed against your dripping pussy. Besides, he knows you're bluffing— Jason knows you'd say anything to make him jealous. And God does he hates how much it works on him.
Jason had the tip of his cock rubbing furiously between your folds, coating them with your slick as he looked down at you. “You’re bullshitting me, [Name].” He huffed, cheeks flushed as his hands gripped onto your sides. “Am not.” You playfully said to him, poking your tongue out as you grind yourself against him. He lets out a deep groan, pushing your hips down as he shoots you a glare.
“Yes, you are.” He rolled his eyes, his thumb reached down to push the head of his cock into your pussy. His lips curled into a smirk when he heard a gasp leaving your lips, “You’re just saying that to make me jealous.” He mutters under his breath, burying himself deeper inside of you as his knees digs into your bed.
“No. Roy and I—”
“Shut up.” He puts his hand over your mouth, muffling down your protests as he easily buries himself deeper inside of you due to how wet you are. And to be honest, he'd hundred percent sure you were soaking your panties the second he went inside of your apartment. Your fingers curled around his shirt, “I hate youuuuuu. Shooo much." Your words slurred as your lips formed a small pout, your eyes flickers down to watch the way his cock stretches you, your lips spread around him as Jason pushes himself in and out of you.
“Just… don’t get why… you’re this mad over me flirting with Roy.” A long whine left your lips before you looked back up at him, the bed underneath your weight violently creaked as your nails dragged on his back. “Not my fault, I have needs.” You huffed, furrowing your brows as Jason let out a breathy chuckle when you put up a frown on your face.
“You have me.”
“You’re my ex.”
“And?”
He slammed his hips into you right before you got to say anything, a sheen layer of sweat coating your body as you threw your head back. “Just stop talking about him when I’m balls deep in you, it’s weird. Talk about me instead.” It feels nice, sort of satisfying to know you at least made him sort of jealous that it’s enough to get him to pins you down and fills up every crevices of your wet cunt.
“No fun.” You muttered under your breath, arms curling around his neck as you pulled him down for a kiss. His lips quickly capture yours, ignoring the way your teeth clash against his so long as he has your lips on his own. “Nah, just like it better when you're moaning about how big my dick is.” He flashed you a toothy grin, fingers gripping your waist as he slightly lift your hips to thrust deeper. The veins on his cock rubbing against your gummy walls, a small bump on your lower stomach shows up every time he pushes himself deeper.
“They’re not… big.” You pants in between words, head tilts back into your pillow. He bits his bottom lip back when he felt your pussy squeezes around him, sucking him in. Your eyes turning watery from the pleasure, lashes thick with tears as he clenched his teeth. “Yeah, right." Jason lets out a scoff, pulling back away from you for a split second as he turned your body over as your stomach lay flat on your couch, his hand pressed flat on your back before he forced you to keep your hips up.
His cock finds its way back buried inside of your sopping cunt, your ass pressed against his pelvis as he gripped your hips. His fingers leaving red marks on tour skin, “You better keep your ass up.” There’s a certain firmness in his voice, his eyes looking down at you when you tilts your head to the side to looked back at him. Jason leans down to lean his chin on your shoulder, his lips hovering your ear as he slowly rocks his hips into your again.
“Gotta remind my ex girlfriend who she belonged to again.”
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whoever reading this, please send anything sexy about dc men or women... I AM DYING TO JUST RANT ABT THEM c: sorry for the blue balls ending!!!!
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transmascissues · 3 months
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i absolutely cannot believe people are trying to start discourse about whether nex benedict was actually nonbinary / whether it was okay for him to describe himself as nonbinary to some people if he didn’t actually identify that way as if he isn’t literally DEAD because he was KILLED. this is a MURDERED CHILD and these monsters are so busy getting mad at the possibility that he might have been a trans boy who described himself as nonbinary to his family because that was easier for them to take that they’re turning a CHILD who was MURDERED into fucking discourse. even when we die at the hands of cis people’s violence, our own community finds a way to make us the villains of the story.
and all of this bullshit on top of the ways that cis people are already trying to say our grief over his death is unjustified. all of this on top of people claiming he wasn’t murdered and speculating on other causes of death (i literally saw someone say he “clearly went home and took the coward’s way out” and i have never been more disgusted) or claiming that he started the fight as if any action on his part could’ve been enough to justify his death. i am haunted by the sound of his father screaming that his child was not filth because that is what people have been saying about this poor kid, that’s how cruelly his memory is being treated, and even the trans community can’t get it’s shit together enough to look past the stupid discourse and see the tragedy in front of us. did you all forget that it was supposed to be up to us to grieve him in the way he deserves when the rest of the world fails to care if people like him live or die? did you all forget that this child was our sibling, the future of our community, a life that we should have had the chance to know and treasure while he was still here but that we now have a responsibility to hold close to our hearts in his absence? nex’s life was precious and it was ended far too soon and if you truly believe that anything is more important than mourning his life and fighting for a world where no more trans people have to meet such an awful fate, you’re a traitor to this community and you do not deserve the place you occupy within it.
i’m so tired. i can’t even imagine how tired his family must be, to see the public treat the child they’re grieving so horribly, to see the world fail their baby again. leave him alone. he was already robbed of peace in life; the least you can do is let him finally have it in death.
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freedomfireflies · 3 months
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The One Where 404 Harry Gets Jealous:
Harry is mad.
No, Harry is past mad. He’s furious. Irate. Enraged and incensed and staring a hole right through Levi’s head.
You work to bite back your smug smile as you nod along to your date's story. And you pretend to be fascinated, even though you’re more fascinated by the furious man a few feet away. 
He’s been watching you since the moment you and Levi walked through the door. And he’s been fighting his own urge to come over and interrupt, that much you’re sure of. But he doesn’t have any right. And he knows it.
And you can’t help but make things just a bit harder for him. You grin brightly at Levi’s comments. You laugh loudly at his attempts at jokes. You touch his arm and lean into him as you listen to the live band.
And it’s driving Harry up the wall.
He’s moments away from snapping. Subtly but angrily scooting closer with every passing minute. And you don’t need him to snap. Or cause a scene. But if he’s gonna act like a big fucking baby just because you’re on a date, well…
“Which was fine,” Levi is saying. “I didn’t really care for it anyway, but…I sent it back and we’ll see if they can do better this next time.”
“Sure, sure,” you agree half-heartedly, eyes drifting toward the tall, surly man in glasses now somehow even closer than before. “And, uh…you said you were hoping to stick around for a while before heading back east?”
“Yeah, that’s my plan,” he says. He points to the stage. “I like these guys. They’re good. It’s so funny, I’ve never really thought about—”
“What the fuck is this?”
You and Levi both turn as an unexpected voice loudly intrudes on your conversation.
You find Harry, unsurprisingly, looming over you as he glares down at your poor date.
“Uh, this…is Levi,” you introduce slowly, biting the inside of your cheek to suppress another smirk. “And this is also none of your business.”
Harry frowns. “Bullshit. You said you weren’t going out tonight.”
“No, I said I couldn’t go out tonight,” you correct. “Because I already had plans. With Levi.”
Levi blinks.
Harry snorts. “Right. And how the fuck did you even meet this Levi in the first place?”
“Okay, well, one...you don’t have to talk about him like he’s not here,” you scold. “Don’t be rude—”
“I’m not being rude. You’re being rude.”
“I—” You huff. “How am I being rude when you’re interrupting my date?”
“Because this isn’t a fucking date and you know it.”
You cross your arms. Stubborn. “And how would you know what a date looks like? Much less a date with me?”
“Because you’ve spent half the fucking night staring at me,” he says smugly and you feel your skin warm. “So, I’ll ask you again. What the fuck is this?”
You turn to Levi—poor, innocent Levi—and offer a sheepish smile. “I’m…so sorry. I just need to work this out with him for one second—”
“No, don’t worry about it,” he says kindly and you’ve never felt worse. “I get it. I’ll get us some drinks.”
“Thank you, really,” you sigh and he nods before disappearing into the bar. And once he’s gone, you turn back to the outrageously annoying man in question. “Okay, seriously, you need to leave.”
“Why?” Harry crosses his arms now, too, and nudges his glasses back up. “You don’t actually wanna be alone with him.”
“Says who? You?”
“Yeah.”
“You don’t know what I want. Because I want nothing more than to be alone with him. In fact, I want to be anywhere you aren’t.”
“Bullshit, Princess. You knew I was gonna be here so you brought him just to piss me off.”
“And why would I do that?”
“Cause you’re fucking annoying.”
“Is that so?”
“It is.”
“And what would bringing him here accomplish, huh? It’s not like you’re jealous or anything, right?”
He leans back and you’ve got him. “Oh, real fucking mature, Tink. Very nice.”
“What? You’re not,” you argue, shrugging one shoulder up. “Why would you be? We’re not exclusive or anything. I mean, maybe if we were, I wouldn’t have to go home with him tonight, but…good thing we’re not.”
He scowls at you. “So that’s why you brought him here? Cause you wanted to play your little fucking game and try to make me jealous?”
“Of course not. That would never work.”
He snorts and looks away and you finally grin.
“Anyway, you should let me get back to it,” you say, beginning to slip past him. “But this was fun—”
He grabs your arm and yanks you back to your spot. “Where the fuck are you going?”
“Back to my date,” you repeat pointedly, slipping his fingers from your skin. “Do you mind?”
“Yes.” He dips down and he doesn’t let you go. “I don’t like games. And I don’t like tricks. You don’t get to fucking play me just cause you’re bored.”
“I’m not bored, I’m single,” you retort. “And I have every right to date him if I want—”
“No.”
You blink. “No?”
“No.” He holds you tighter and he’s resolute in the way he speaks. “I don’t want you going out with him.”
“Yeah? And why do you think I care what you want?”
“Because I know you,” he says calmly, and you can hear the devious undertone even beneath the loud music in the bar. “You brought him here because you don’t want to fuck him. You don’t want to waste your time on a man that talks about the fucking stock market and how much he spent at Erewhon. And you wanted me…to remind you of that.”
He’s right. You know he’s right. He knows he’s right. But you’ll be damned if you ever admit it. 
“The only thing you remind me of is disappointment,” you huff. You take your arm back. “Levi is everything you can never be. And maybe it’s time you realize that.”
You attempt to brush past him again but he stops you once more. He tugs you into his body until your chest is brought to his and everything grows quiet inside your head. Your only focus is him, and his mouth, and his familiar smell, and the way he holds you in his arms.
He’s leering at you—pissed beyond belief—and yet you feel so incredibly warm and safe. Pleased.
“Do not go back to him,” he says and a chill rushes down your spine.
“What?”
“Don’t go back to him,” he says again and you want to smile. “Because you aren’t leaving with him. You’re leaving with me. And tomorrow, you aren’t gonna fucking call him and apologize and set up the next date. You’re gonna lose his fucking number. Is that understood?”
You narrow your eyes. “You’re really fucking annoying—”
He yanks you closer until you can almost taste the lips hovering near yours. “I said, is that fucking understood, Princess?”
You’ve never felt this kind of need before. This kind of yearning for another person and this kind of pain radiating between your thighs. But you’re desperate to fix it—desperate to ride this wave of his anger until it washes you both away. 
"Why?" you whisper and you want to kiss him. God, you want to kiss him, but you resist.
"Because," he says. He breathes you in and then he reaches up to brush his thumb along your lip. "Because how can I let you leave when I know you'll be so unsatisfied?"
Your insides feel like they've been set on fire.
"How can I go home when I know he won't take care of you the way I do?" He brushes his nose against yours. "How can I let my pretty, little Tinkerbell spend the night faking her orgasms when I know how perfect she cums when she cums for me?"
Fuck.
"You can hate me all you want," he murmurs. "But I'm good to you. And you fucking know it."
You can't seem to find a response. Can't seem to make your feet work or your lungs work or any part of your brain actually work.
Instead, you simply exhale, "Okay."
And he smiles.
“Good girl,” he mumbles. He leans back and takes his kiss way. "Then let's go."
He leads you out of the bar and toward his bike in the parking lot and you go without question. He hands you the extra helmet—which he also has to help you put on—then pulls you onto the back and secures your arms around his middle. Just like last time.
“Where are we going?” you yell as the engine comes to life.
There’s something cunning in his eye. “Figured it was about time I took you home.”
“Oh…well, my apartment’s all the way on the other side of town,” you tell him. “It’s kind of a long drive.”
He shakes his head. “Not your home,” he says and your heart instantly lodges in your throat.
Shit, shit, shit.
He smiles. “I want to take you to my home.”
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DEDICATED TO MY SWEET BIRTHDAY ANON!!! I HOPE IT'S SOMEWHAT OKAY AND WHAT YOU WERE EXPECTING! I KNOW THERE'S NO SMUT BUT........WE CAN WRITE THAT LATER HEHE
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artandshid · 5 months
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*found this in my drafts and i was prob heartbroken when I read this lmaooo*
Eddie Munson didn’t do girlfriends, he didn’t do love outside of the platonic kind for that matter. Eddie loved girls, he loved sex, but the romantic bullshit just wasn’t for him. He didn’t have the money to pay for expensive dates, he didn’t have the maturity for a real relationship, and he didn’t even have anyone to bring a significant other home to. He had no family, I mean sure he had Uncle Wayne and Wayne was a great guy. But Wayne worked a lot and he was often grumpy when he came back from work, not the friendliest guy to meet. As a matter of fact, the only person in Eddie’s life who met Wayne was Y/n.
Y/n was someone very dear to Eddie. Y/n was Eddie’s fuck buddy, the girl that maybe he loved a little more than platonically, but most of all, Y/n was Eddie’s best friend.
The whole fuck buddy thing started after a horrible hookup on her end, and Eddie was certain that he could be better than whatever scumbag she went out with that night, and he was. He would never admit how proud he was of that, though.
Eddie is slightly aware of his feelings for his best friend, he’d never tell her, but he would be lying if he said her presence doesn’t make him feel better. That the sight of her doesn’t just have him turned on, but brings him a sense of inner peace. He knows what these feelings are, but he also knows that they’re wrong. People like Eddie don’t deserve to feel those feelings, especially towards someone as great as Y/n. So he’s just letting them be for now, because he knows that she’ll find better eventually and he’s going to be okay with that, because having her as his best friend is good enough.
“Oh fuck Eddie.” Y/n moans from underneath him, her eyes rolling to the back of her head.
Eddie rocks above her, panting and moaning the entire time. “Fuck babe I’m close, so fucking close. Oh shit, here I come babe.” He says as his eyes squeeze shut and he fucks his orgasm into her, her climax quickly approaching.
He pulls out and rolls next to her, both of them panting. They make eye contact and smile, both of their stomachs doing flips, neither one knowing about the other.
“We did good, huh?” Eddie says jokingly and pulls a cigarette out, offering her one, which she happily takes.
Y/n laughs out loud and lightly hits his chest, “Shut up.”
“No I’m serious, that was one of our best rounds yet.”
She laughs again, but slowly goes into a trance.
Eddie lightly shakes her shoulder, “What’s wrong y/n/n?”
You look him in the eyes and Eddie gulps, “Eds, I think I’m in love with you.”
Eddie freezes, even though he’s in love with you, he also knows that your feelings aren’t real. Maybe you guys have slept with each other too many times that you’re just getting confused. But you can’t love him and you can’t be in love with him. You’re far too good for him.
“Eddie please say something. Please tell me you feel the same way.”She now has tears in her eyes knowing that she’s going to lose him.
“Y/n, baby, you know I can’t. I’m sorry, but you’ve known me for how long, I’m not a relationship guy.” He says and he shrugs you off.
You look at him incredulously. To not reciprocate feelings is one thing, but to completely blow you off by saying ‘i’m not a relationship” guy after all of your history together, is what makes you mad. And the tone he said it in, too, like an arrogant prick.
“So that’s that? You can’t say anything else.” She says with tears now streaming down her face.
Eddie is feeling a lot of things right now and that’s never good. When he feels too much he gets overwhelmed and deals with it by being angry. He’s never been angry at her before, though, but seeing her cry, mixed with her “confession” and he’s still dealing with his feelings for her, Eddie is feeling more than overwhelmed.
“What else do you want me to fucking say? You’ve known me for how many fucking years? Never once have I done relationships, and you’re no fucking different. What did you think just because we have a bit of history it would make any difference.” He yells at her, taking another puff of his cigarette trying to calm his nerves.
“‘A bit of history’ is that what your chalking up our years of friendship to now? You never act like this with me, and I try to be honest with you and you just lash out on me? I’m your best friend, not some asshole at school, try treating me with a little respect.” She says, finally putting her clothes back on while he stay naked under the covers. Even with the clothes covering her, she’s never felt more exposed in her life.
“Respect?!” Eddie laughs out loud. “I just had you a moaning mess underneath me and you’re demanding respect?” He instantly regrets saying this at the pain on her face, but again, he won’t let her see that.
“You are such a selfish dick, I’m leaving.” She says and starts walking out with tears and mascara streaking her face.
“I may be selfish, but at least I didn’t sleep with my best friend and catch feelings, ruining years of friendship!” He yelled back even though she’s already almost out the front door. Now he’s not only selfish, but a selfish liar.
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bigfatbimbo · 1 month
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Sub!Valentino lives in my brain rent free and I’m ashamed to admit it…but I have so many thoughts-
He needs to be broken. Tie him up and make him watch as I break down that ego, that pathetic need for attention so that even after he’s still thinking of that moment. That even while he’s at work, doing something (or someone) else, he is craving his true dom, the only person who he’ll let break him into submission.
Sub!Valentino keeping a piece of your clothes because he needs to smell you near even when you’re not. He’s so fucking pathetic he needs to be humbled and get his walking privileges revoked after a night of punishments.
Sub!Valentino, in my mind, needs a dom who at first is so indifferent to him. So not impressed and not turned on by his typical flirty and slutty behavior. (Bonus points if it’s a bodyguard situation: someone who has no choice but to be around him daily and put up with his bullshit) And it pisses him off that this person isn’t falling for his game like everyone else would. And when he goes to do the same thing he always does when he gets mad (i.e. violent temper tantrum) doesn’t let him do it. They stand up for themselves and instead put him in his place and read him and degrade him to filth for the pathetic whore he truly is.
And a one time thing, (a one night stand, a moment of sexual tension, a lingering touch in a sensitive place) becomes his new obsession. And suddenly all his attention, his flirtation, his lack of boundaries, is being turned into this dom. In his mind hoping to gain a new plaything, unaware of how he was about to become the plaything and love every lewd moment of it.
-🍳 Anon
Sub Valentino x Reader Headcanons —
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a/n — this is very messy, i’m having a huge writers block lowkey.
warnings — dom reader, sub valentino, actually valentino is his own warning, degradation, NOT PROOFREAD!!
summary — pretty self explanatory!
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Usually I don’t answer long asks with full headcanons but i’m going to bounce off of these ideas in a really long way so… here you go!
I absolutely agree that Valentino would literally need to be dommed by an unbothered reader. 
Like someone who literally just doesn’t care about Val at all. They produce barley any reactions at all when Valentino gets all up in they’re business. 
Not even getting mad, just being so unapologetically uninterested in whatever Valentino was doing.
That would piss him off so much. Like an ungodly amount. After a failed attempt at flirting and pushing your boundaries, which you blow off, he gets insanely mad. 
Probably throws things, shouting curses at you, saying you’re not worth his time, or worth anything for that matter. 
And maybe that’s when you take charge (not to get all ‘in character’ on you but like… hopefully that’s when you take charge because you wouldn’t like what happens)
So you would push him down on the nearest surface, maybe letting some venom seep into your tone, and degrade him for being such an attention whore. 
He thinks he knows what’s about to happen so of course he plays into it an unbarable amount, but simply cut him off by wrapping your hand around his throat and telling him ‘whores speak when spoken too.’
Then he’s a little scared. He’s used that line, used that tone before. It’s no secret you planned on being particularly cruel. 
So that definitely starts a new routine, one that Valentino absolute looks forward too, craves intensely, even. 
Degradation is definitely huge for him. Like calling him your useless slut, and even demeaning him in such a specific real way.
Your insults are so bitter he knows you believe every word of them, even when you’re pegging him or stroking his dick so attentively.
He’s whining at your words, playing into them, wanting more, but as you get meaner, he can’t help but sniffle a little. 
Overstimulating him, and berating him with insults, for example. 
Like he doesn’t cry easily, but the painful sensation of the constant stimulation, paired with your absolutely cruel words brings tears to his eyes. 
And then you make fun of him ruthlessly for crying, “Aren’t you supposed to be experienced? And you’re crying already? Pathetic.”
He’s moaning and sobbing out curses in Spanish as you fuck into his ass, or ride his dick, or toy with him, and begging for more. 
I think praise with Valentino is an interesting subject because like… he’s literally never done anything to lead to any kind treatment.
But maybe you’ve been particularly cruel to him, well like always but more than usual, and so you give him the simple scrap “Good boy.”
It’s surprising how much he reacts. Obviously he hold himself very high in his mind, but you neveracknowledge how fantastic he is.
So when you do, even this shred of praise makes his dick twitch and whine escape his throat.
I like the idea of him being totally obsessed with his dom. Like even after sex he’s all over you, very touchy too.
Constantly trying to get your attention, running his fingers up and down your arm, making a total show of himself. Just for you.
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getmeoutofhell · 4 months
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Amber Freeman x Ethan Landry x F Reader Headcanons
warnings: cussing, real toxic behavior, they stalk reader, SMUT!, degradation, squirting, STRAP! usage, & more.
a/n: my tumblr is being a ugly bitch so i can’t add pictures or anything pretty rn. so sorry. also, as i said in this post, i finally finished them. enjoy!!
SFW:
this duo is something else
ethan had met amber after her and richie survived scream 5. (they’re not together)
when they first saw you…oh boy…
they stalked you.
like REALLY stalked you.
they knew every single thing about you.
they even knew what size underwear you wore, what clothes you wear, and they knew all your friends.
even sometimes they would somehow sneak into your place and watch you.
yes, you would get called from ghostface occasionally from them.
when you first got the phone calls, you thought it was a joke and laughed it off.
then it got worse.
stuff in your place started moving around and you thought you were going crazy.
one day you had enough and started dialing the police.
but ethan had came out from behind you and knocked you unconscious.
you then woke up still in your bed, but felt someone else’s presence.
you freaked out but they forced you to calm down.
it just kinda escalated from there.
you eventually excepted them in your life.
maybe after they threatened you not to leave…
ethan is more soft than amber but amber can have some soft moments.
she’s more in control of everything than ethan is. like she plans most of the dates and what y’all would be doing that day. you love her for it tho.
ethan is almost the complete opposite of amber. he just does whatever she says and has no problem with it. even when you came along he just listens to you, to an extent of course.
oh god they would be the happiest ever if you decided to join them as ghost face!! literally would smother you in kisses.
if you ever get mad at one of them, be prepared for the other to defend you. every single time.
BUT if you’re mad at both of them…oh god…
like one time you tried to leave to apartment for a few hours because they both pissed you off. so ethan and amber followed you to the door and pinned you up against it.
“let’s just talk this out y/n. what are you leaving for, huh? we can all sit and talk and make up, i promise.” ethan told you.
you still tried to leave, not wanting to hear any of their bullshit.
let’s just say you didn’t couldn’t leave and you ended up sleep between them that night.
you guys have a group chat on y’all’s phones and it’s just chaos everywhere.
ethan sending shitty memes and amber sending shitty memes back.
they both really can’t cook for shit so you’re gonna have to do ALL the cooking.
if YOU can’t cook, well just get ready to to order takeout every damn day. because these fuckers SUCK at cooking, seriously!
but all jokes aside they actually love you so much, and would do anything for you!!
ethan loves laying on top of you. as amber loves laying beneath you. so it just works out in the end for you three.
ethan for some reason loves grocery shopping with you guys. amber on the other hand…no. you have to force her to go ANYWHERE where you have to buy off a list. she just doesn’t like it for some reason.
they also give you a daily time on when you can go out.
you can’t go anywhere after 8 pm, so have fun with that!
and if you do try to ‘sneak’ out, don’t.
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NSFW:
this is gonna get crazy…so get ready.
so you know when i said y’all have a group chat? yeah memes isn’t the only thing they send you.
sometimes amber will send videos of her fucking you with her strap in the middle of the day, just because she wants to. she’ll be like- “remember when i was digging in yo shit?” or something like that.
ethan is the bottom in the relationship. he’s such a bottom for you and amber. unless he gets mad…then you’re gonna be struggling to walk for a bit.
well one day y’all went out and spent the night in a hotel.
and then this happened…
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let’s just say, you really enjoyed that night.
their moans send you to another dimension.
amber will ride ethan’s face, as you ride his cock and she’ll hold hands with you.
ambers an actual BEAST in bed, so don’t be surprised if she fucks you till the point of over stimulation.
ethan actually whines sometimes. you love his groans but his whines send you over the edge.
amber on the other hand moans so fucking beautifully. it’s music to your ears along with ethan.
every blue moon ethan will send a video of him jerking off with the sound on. he only does it to tease you both. amber loves it tho, she uses it to get off when she’s away from home.
YES, they both have fucked you in their ghostface costumes before.
you’ll never forget that night istg.
amber one time squirted on your face before. it was her birthday so you wanted to surprise her by letting her sit on your face. i guess your head must’ve been THAT good.
get on top of ethan and ride his bulge, while you suck ambers nipples. god what a sight that must be.
they ADORE your pretty pussy. they love it so fucking much you have no idea.
you once went in front of them in a robe and just flashed them out of nowhere. you couldn’t walk for 3 days after that.
amber is horny ALL the time, so be ready to deal with her touching all over your body every minute. as for ethan, he also gets horny ALL the time. so now you have to deal with BOTH of them.
before you guys got together, when they used to stalk you (they still do) they would go watch you touch yourself and get off to that. sometimes they would even film you and watch it later. (they still do that).
they also sometimes wake up in the middle of night horny asf. once ethan woke up at 2 am and his cock was rock hard, so he first woke up amber, then they both woke you up and it was just heaven from there.
have ethan eat your pussy while amber makes out with you. just do it, you’ll love it.
and also remember when i said they didn’t let you leave? yeah they fucked you so good that night you had no choice but to stay.
they DEGRADE you MOST of the time.
“you’re a fucking slut y/n.”
“you fucking whore.”
stuff like that.
but if you behave, they’ll reward you.
like for example, when amber and ethan went out to kill tara. they told you no leavening and no touching yourself. you obey and when they got home they made love to you as a reward. and also ate your pussy.
if you ever send them nudes while they’re out killing, get ready for a LONG night at home. because these fuckers will make you cum so much that you feel drained. well after a kill they get pretty horny anyway so, i guess you’re fucked.
but all in all, they love you and love giving you pleasure in any type of way!
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hope you enjoyed!!
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ghouljams · 11 months
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So we’ve seen protective fae ghost! But I NEED to see protective Fae König! You don’t understand! Would it make Liebling more trusting of him? Or would it make them more weary? He seems pretty nervous all the time  and pretty willing to back down for someone in the court, so I need to see him MAD!  Please!
Anyways I LOVE your work! Your an amazing writer and I can’t wait to see what else that beautiful mind of yours comes up with ❤️
Oh goodie, let's make the nasty boy mad! Let's unban him from the shop and make sure Liebling knows he would do anything for her.
You think sometimes that your actual customers might be worse than the Fae that linger around your shop. At least the monsters are polite. At least they follow the rules you have pinned behind the counter.
There's a loud clatter as one of your displays is knocked over. Poppies and peonies rolling across the floor only to be smashed underfoot. You wince, your poor flowers. "Take it outside guys," You call, grabbing a mop to clean up the water starting to pool. The two men who are, unfortunately, human ignore you. Continuing to roughhouse and laugh at the annoyed looks the rest of your patrons shoot them. You glower at them as you try to right your bucket display.
One of them stops you, grinning at your less than pleased expression. "Oi, slag," you grimace, "how about you give me your number, yeah?"
"How about fuck off," You shoulder past him, only to be stopped by the other one.
"Now that's not very nice."
"I'm not very nice," You tell him plainly, "now kindly move."
They bark out a sarcastic laugh before grabbing your arm, "Listen here shop girl, my friend and I are-"
"Are you going to leave or do I have to make you?" You ask, unwilling to listen to whatever bullshit they have to say.
"Oh," One of them grins, "She's gonna make us. Pretty little thing like you, I'd like to see you try." Well, he's got you there. You don't really have anyone else working that could help you, and god only knows the monsters that haunt the place won't intervene without asking the world from you in return. Fuck, you wish that big mother fucker with the teeth was unbanned. His presence alone would probably scare these guys off. He is definitely getting unbanned.
König's head jerks to stare at the door to the shop. The threshold is gone. He doesn't waste time with curiosity, folding himself into the shop almost as quickly as he's allowed. He wonders what changed, what made you finally decide to let him in again. Then he sees them, feels his teeth and claws itch with the overwhelming urge to rip and tear, and wastes even less time.
You hear the low snarl before you see his hands wrap around the men's necks. Barely human as he lifts them up like ragdolls, their hands clawing at his fingers where he squeezes their throats. The deep black claws dig into the soft vulnerable -entirely human- flesh of the men’s necks, blood bubbling to the surface where the razor's edge of König’s claws press. One of them screams, legs kicking out to try and gain any semblance of leverage against the monster holding him tight. 
“They’re just assholes,” You tell him, voice edged with fear. You don’t know what to say to keep him from spilling blood in your shop.
“And soon they will be corpses,” König replies, like it’s that easy. You think it is that easy for him. His hood hardly seems to be in the way when he digs his wicked teeth to one of the men’s trapezius and rips.
A cool hand wraps over your eyes, shielding you from the violence. A gentle voice in your ear above the sickening gurgle of blood as it bursts from the torn musculature, “I know it’s against the rules, touching you, but you don’t want to see this.” 
You feel a sob grip your chest, and press a hand to your mouth out of instinct. The air tastes like iron, like blood, like the sound of splintering bone. You thought there’d be more pleading in death, something other than the animalistic panting and growling. The hand over your eyes shakes in the silence.
“Gib sie mir,” König growls, you can feel the shadow of him in front of you. The hand doesn’t move until you feel it ripped away from you with a shout of pain. König’s eyes stare into you, holding your face in blood stained hands. “It’s just a bad dream, Liebling,” He tells you firmly, his fingers pressing to your forehead as you try to keep your eyes on him and not the warmth soaking into your shoes, “that’s all.”
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retrieve-the-kraken · 2 months
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Okay, so I’ve finished my taxes, and I’m basically out of the woods with some overwhelming work stuff, and everything turned out well with a medical situation with my mum, but I am still very tired, but I also cannot keep going without putting my preliminary thoughts on my very first viewing of season 3 down on a post…
It seems my worst characterization so far is assuming that these two idiots would learn to communicate. They haven’t, they’re stupid teenagers, they’re really bad at it, they get mad at each other for everything, and they don’t listen. And that needs to change soon if we want Wilmon endgame.
Boris, do you do couples therapy? PLEASE HELP THEM.
I think a big reason Wilhelm lashes out, besides getting caught up in his own head, is the fact that he’s also constantly afraid of saying the wrong thing and pissing Simon off. But the stakes for Simon are clearly higher. Wilhelm really needs to learn to communicate, but he’s dragging a whole life of terrible communication and zero support, so HOW is he supposed to learn, if he naturally feels afraid to open up?
It shows in the way he reacts to learning about Erik. Simon might be right, and Erik maybe just gave in to peer pressure, like everyone else in that school (which we see over and over again, like with the strike, and that guy who just repeats ‘yeah hilarious’ when Vincent tells him, and the graduation rituals and basically everything that everyone does at that fucking school), and maybe he wasn’t particularly homophobic. Or maybe he was, but if he had found out about Wilhelm maybe he would have changed his views (after all he was a stupid kid too)… But how would Wilhelm know? Erik is dead, there’s no way of asking him, confronting him about it. And people still call him perfect, and still compare him to his brother.
It must be so traumatizing to have held this person in your head as the one you trusted for everything, the one who would support you most, the one who probably knew you better than anyone else, who would love you and be there for you no matter what, and it turns out that he might not have accepted you at all. And just like that Wille is all alone and angry and afraid again.
(This is why it’s extra cruel that August posted that fucking video, especially how premeditated it was to share it over the whole world, but also then tell Wilhelm that his brother was possibly a homophobe. It doesn’t matter that he went through that horrible hazing, it doesn’t matter that he put a stop to it, and it doesn’t matter that he’s a stupid kid too, the fact that he did THAT to someone, anyone, is awful and he should have known better.)
So that scene in season 1 when Erik teases Wilhelm about his crush potentially changes completely. Maybe he didn’t suspect anything, maybe it was just a coincidence that he never used any pronouns…
And that makes it even more traumatizing that his parents still think of Erik as the figure of perfection, and Wilhelm, who is queer and scandalous and rebellious, is the real thorn on their side. Fucking Ludvig saying that Erik really was perfect, that he didn’t have “that darkness inside of him”, to his surviving son… But for all we know maybe Erik’s death was not accidental, maybe he did have “a darkness” inside of him.
On the other hand, that “darkness” doesn’t excuse Kristina at all. I am convinced that this depression/burnout that she’s going through is absolute bullshit. Sure, she might be depressed, she’s still grieving her “perfect” heir, and she’s going through a lot. But it’s like Wilhelm says, how convenient that she shuts down and breaks down now. She wasn’t like this when the video happened, because she could still cover it up. And she wasn’t like this when Wilhelm called her to scream that he was going to abdicate, because she could still drag him out of Hillerska. It was only when he told the whole world, and there was no covering it up anymore, that she suddenly became fragile with grief.
And even if it were true, even if she’s going through a severe depression or burnout, as a result of everything that’s happened, that doesn’t excuse her previous lies and manipulations. And it makes the fact that she still really wants Wille to become her successor, despite knowing what it could do to him, despite knowing that he’s already extremely anxious and that he does not know how to manage his own emotions, is evil.
(And even if she wants August to be the backup too, knowing how he is, knowing his own family history, and how it could affect him too, is evil too.) MORE on this later.
Kristina uses her breakdowns to emotionally manipulate Wille into trying to do his best to be the perfect crown prince, now indirectly through Farima and Ludvig. And Wille’s so concerned with her and her fragility that it affects his relationship with Simon. Because he’s anxious about the possible imminence of having to take over, of being the new monarch, when he can barely control his own feelings, when he just wants to enjoy his first relationship and just be in love.
Of course he made things worse for himself and Simon when he publicly revealed their relationship, but we can understand where that’s coming from. He didn’t want to hide anymore, he didn’t want to not be able to be himself anymore, not be able to be with the boy he loves. But they’re still forced to hide, because people start hating on Simon, because people won’t stop talking about them (as much as I HATED Wille shushing Simon, I also understood that he didn’t want anyone to hear their argument, because he didn’t want to give people more reason to talk about them, but also there’s probably a lot of ‘keeping up appearances’ embedded in his mind), because they are very different and almost incompatible for many reasons, and because being the crown prince means conforming to a lot of things (no tattoos, no cutting your hair shorter than, no nail polish, no expressing political opinions, etc etc), and so he has to remove the nail polish and he doesn’t want his foundation to be geared toward LGBTQIA+ people or mental health issues… He can’t express himself, he can’t be himself, because what he is or who he is for real is not compatible with his role or what is expected of him… he’s so repressed still.
(The whole nail polish scene, and the scene where Simon suggests that Wille’s foundation could be geared toward LGBTQIA+ youth, reminded me a little of Isak in SKAM saying that he wasn’t just going to start marching in the Pride parade or wearing makeup. Wille is not necessarily about identity expression, or at least he doesn’t think that he should be. He just wants to be himself, and be with the boy he loves, and that’s it).
As for Simon, he can do no wrong, and I absolutely agree with everything he says and does, but he has always been very idealistic, and he does come across as a little more naïve than I expected, especially with the whole social media comments and his song. It wasn’t the first time he experienced it, because things went south for him when he appeared on the video, so for him now to think that people are magically not going to be cruel.
But I understand how much he’s sacrificing for Wille, and Wille not appreciating it at all must sting. Just like he points out that he didn’t have contact with Micke for years, for Sara’s sake, and suddenly she’s living with him… that fucking hurt. Simon has always been very opinionated and outspoken, and he’s very authentically and proudly himself, but he’s also always molded himself to what other people need, like being a parented child and taking on too much in the house to relieve Linda, and taking care of Sara, and worrying about his father, and letting himself be manipulated by Marcus, and now basically giving up a lot of himself to be with Wille. And as a result Linda treats him like he’s a drug addict, and Sara goes to the father she didn’t want to have contact with, and Marcus talks shit about him to the press, and Wille doesn’t listen to him…
Sara saw the light (sort of), so maybe hopefully Wille will too. More on that later too.
Anyway, it would have been nice for someone from the royal court to sit Simon down and explain to him what being the boyfriend of a royal involves, so that Wille doesn’t have to figure out how to tell him all these difficult things himself. Wille is so used to some of these things, they seem so obvious to him, that he might not immediately think of how weird or outlandish it might seem to Simon. (THat scene with the cake, I mean… it was funny in a way, but I wonder how many terrifying thoughts crossed Simon’s mind, the obvious “wait what??? did I just eat poison???” but also “wait what??? someone’s trying to poison my boyfriend????” and “there are kids here, have they also accidentally been poisoned????”).
I really really hope that, since he’s being forced to go to Boris with August, that Wille will think about going with Simon, and trying to work things out. They need to be able to say all these things to each other, get on the same page.
More importantly, I need a callback to what Boris said to him in season 2, about the expectations of his family, about being able to make his own choices. Which Wille internalized beautifully with that speech to Simon outside his house.
Anyway, this is already very long. Moving on to more general thoughts:
- I did think that the fact that they sort of resolved the whole issue with the police report and the drugs felt a little anticlimactic. It was built up and built up and the whole season 2 finale was about that, and we had a cliffhanger and everything, and then… bye. I wonder if it will come back (more on that later).
- And for that matter, Alexander just became a background character. Did he even have any lines? I could barely spot him.
- August telling Wilhelm in front of everyone at the table that he’s sure Wille will fuck up on his own… rich.
- Also Stella and Rosh was sort of hinted at, it happened in a blink, and then Fredrika was… jealous? Confused? Homophobic? All of the above? But then… NOTHING. Stella was even missing in the last episode, because she was “sick”… (scheduling conflicts for Felicia? Actually sick?)
- I think it’s interesting that Sara preached and preached to Simon about giving people a second chance, including their dad, and then she… goes and does it? It wasn’t the first time she did, she was with August despite the awful thing he did. And then she goes and… gives August ANOTHER chance????
- Someone needs to tell Sara that she needs to stop getting wtih August, because every time they get together somehow, Wilmon go south… It seems these two couples cannot exist simultaneously…
- So I still have to rewatch, but… is August then in the middle of selling his father’s estate to pay Simon? Are any of his friends aware of this?
- I have a cultural question: what was the whole deal about travelling to the US? I mean, I thought they were asking if these kids have never travelled abroad, but they mentioned the US specifically, several times… Is that a thing in Sweden, traveling to the US? Not any other part of Europe? Not Asia? Just wondering. Made me curious.
- Still waiting for this season’s Elias song… just one episode left… If we don’t get one, or a callback to Revolution, I might claw my face off…
- Nils repeating that maybe Wille would have been better off with someone from the inner circle. Seriously, Nils, who do you mean? WHO? Who could you be referring to? Hmm?
- Something else about Nils… a part of me really wished that Wille would have asked Nils for confirmation on the Erik thing. Wille obviously doesn’t want to believe it at first, but then he does, and hearing it from August makes it even worse, so maybe hearing it from someone like Nils would be the final confirmation that he would need, that his brother was the worst. On the other hand, for him to ask Nils to confirm something like that, as a gay, and possibly hearing what happened to him as a result of it… that would have probably made it even worse.
- Really hate that Marcus was mentioned, that he came back to haunt Simon in a way, even if it was minimal. But props to Simon for not rising to the bait in that moment.
- Simon, my love, i understand that you’re upset and heartbroken, but… it would have been nice if you tried to get Wille to talk to you one last time, before breaking up with him on his birthday… especially seeing everything he’s going through. Not that your feelings are any less important than his, of course, but… are you trying to get him to jump out the window????
-Eternally saddened by the disappearance of the orange sweater. Eternally saddened by the fact that Wilhelm did not set foot in or around Simon’s house this season. Although who knows, still one episode left…
Things that I liked most:
- Seriously the chemistry between Edvin and Omar is OFF THE CHARTS. The intimacy coordinator this season was very good.
- Especially that sex scene. Not just because it makes me immensely happy when my favorite ship fucks, because holy shit that was hot, but also because there’s a whole theme around all the hate mail and messages and classism and homophobia and toxic masculinity that Simon is a target of, especially being Latino, whilst Wille, being white and privileged and high class and the heir to the throne, is probably seen as the “man” of the relationship (especially since in the video he’s also the one “in control” whilst Simon is the receiver), so it’s very VERY satisfying to see that they are both top and bottom at times, and they both equally enjoy it.
- Also the use of choir music during the sex scene, giving it a very holy feel, much like Elias’s Holy playing when they have sex again in season 2… seriously I NEED my Elias song this season or I WILL START A REVOLUTION.
- At first I was annoyed at the whole “school possibly closing” plotline, because I thought it was unneeded. Or that maybe it would play a bigger role in the whole video-drugs controversy. But the truth is that it was really good, how it highlighted these kids’ privilege and the absurdity of wanting to cover things up and uphold traditions, and it also worked wonderfully to highlight the divide between Simon and Wille. As Simon says to Wille, he only takes a stand when he has nothing to lose.
- Felice. Felice this whole season was magnificent. Her whole breakdown over the end of her friendship with Sara, showing how truly important it was to her. And Madison saying that sometimes breaking up with a friend is worse than getting dumped, and I AGREE SO MUCH. But then I also think she loses her sense of self, because despite being popular and beautiful, she still gets used and treated badly, by August (obviously), but also by Wille (the kiss), and worst of all by Sara (who in a way used her for her horse, but also for the clout). And in the meantime, she’s treated differently than the other students for being one of the few black girls, and she gets singled out for her hair… and yet, the school is using her to make themselves look good. And now she decides to give Sara a second chance, because she really missed her, because it really hurt to lose that friend, and Sara goes and… does that…
- One of my favorite things about Simon is how he is proof that just because you’re gay doesn’t mean that you have flawless fashion sense. And i can’t help but wonder how fashion and style icon/ELLE’s Best Dressed Man/OMR Beauty founder Omar feels about Simon’s fashion choices. Never change, Simon, never change.
- Vincent was every bit of the tremendous asshole that I hoped he’d be this season. Did not disappoint. I wanted to punch him in the face every time he opened his mouth. Marvellous.
- I’m happy that we got more Madison, but still not enough. Still, iconic. Forever one of my favorite characters.
- I don’t know what to say about Sara and Micke. Just maybe that, when he played that song in the car, even before they started singing, i just knew “oh fuck, it’s all going to shit soon…” I guess Sara felt lost enough that she was suddenly willing to give him a second chance. And the whole “is that going to happen to me?” bit really made me sad. That she understands that mental health and mental illness is unfortunately many times hereditary, and worries that she might become just like him… But despite not being entirely like him, with addiction problems and such, she was still unreliable like him, she did bad things to her family like he did… I was rooting for you, Micke, we were all rooting for you.
- I feel that August’s love for status and for the monarchy might be starting to fray at the edges. First with the fact that he was reminded of his own traumatizing initiation, and reminded of how the crown prince, his cousin and friend and idol, himself was part of that. Second with the fact that Simon points out that he might have an eating disorder, how he would probably not fare any better than the queen if he were in such a stressful position as crown prince or king, how difficult it is for him to handle stress and anxiety. And third with seeing how it affects Wille and Simon and realizing that something similar might still happen to him and Sara. And the fact that he reveals to Sara why he is the way he is, that he lets his guard down with her, might point to even more growth (even though I hate that Sara sort of gave him a “second chance” again). Also I feel the reality of how they, the Royal Court, would control his life is finally sinking in. Hopefully he will also soon realize that they also use him as a manipulation tool. So maybe he won’t let himself be manipulated by them much longer.
- I loved Wille’s ultimate outburst at his mother and father, i love that he told them everything they needed to hear, about their emotional abuse, their neglect. Unfortunately they still refused to acknowledge how terrible parents they have been, and walked off, instead of trying to resolve it. So Wille throwing around the gifts, as impulsive and tantrum-ish it might come across, makes perfect sense. He tries to talk and gets nothing in return. If he’s repressed it’s bad, but if he expresses himself then nothing happens either.
- And I love that Simon got to see what Wille is really dealing with. As privileged as he might be, he’s still lacking the most important things: unconditional support and love. No amount of money or status can make it better, and Wille is broken. The only thing is that, Simon saw how broken Wille was over the death of his brother, whom he loved very much, but I don’t think he quite grasps the gravity of Wille learning that maybe that beloved brother wouldn’t have been so cool with him, because he has never had to deal with a parent or sibling rejecting him for his sexuality. It’s something very different to be rejected by society at large than it is to be rejected by your own family, and not everyone has the emotional strength to deal with that. So for Wille’s parents to still like his potentially homophobic dead brother more than him, is heart-wrenching. But I don’t think Simon really gets that because he’s probably not surprised that Erik might have been like that, because in his eyes those privileged kids in that school (except obviously Wille, and Felice and Madison, who is asking about the non-binaries) are probably all massive homophobes.
- Despite this, I love that Simon sets boundaries nonetheless. I mean, it hurt like fucking hell for him to tell Wille, on his fucking birthday, that maybe they shouldn’t be together. But just because Wille is hurting doesn’t mean that Simon has not also been hurting too. And if they can’t comfort each other, and try to support each other when they both obviously most need it, then maybe they’re just not going to work. And it took a lot of guts for Simon to bring it up in that moment, in Wille’s bed, in the palace, where he’s basically trapped, with nowhere to go, no way to get away (I doubt he called Linda in the middle of the night to come pick him up more than two hours away in Stockholm).
My hopes for the final episode (I don’t think I have any predictions other than, open ending or not, Wilmon will be endgame and there will be a revolution, I just don’t know how):
- Wilmon talk. An actual, healthy, heartfelt talk. A reconciliation for the ages.
- That the fucking school will close and August won’t be able to graduate, and he’ll realize that maybe he shouldn’t have “lived for that school”, as Erik once put it.
- That Wille will realize that, if Erik was not the person he thought he was, then maybe he no longer has to live up to his legacy anymore. @foreverunraveling pointed out how, now that the big Erik revelation is confirmed, then maybe the queen’s trump card to manipulate Wille into being the ideal crown prince is gone. Wille doesn’t care about the monarchy really, but he did care about not disappointing his brother, the “perfect crown prince”, and now we know that he was far from perfect. Erik lived a double life, as Wille points out, there was “public Erik” or crown prince Erik, and there was “private Erik”, or the real Erik (or so Wille thought, now we know there was a “secret Erik” which was the real Erik) and Wille struggles so much with the idea of having to split himself in two, . Wille cannot live a double life, he withers away when he has to hide himself, and now he gets the opportunity to leave that stifling life behind, and blossom.
- That Simon will get a fucking break. I hate that his whole life was turned upside down from the moment the video was leaked, and it’s just never going to be the same, whether he stays with Wille or not, he’ll always be the boy from the crown prince sex tape, he’ll always be the crown prince’s ex, or the crown prince’s boyfriend. But I want some positive feedback for him, someone bigger than the woman and the little boy wanting a selfie. I want him to have his own fanclub or something. Maybe that’s too idealistic…? (I may be imagining something like that scene in Red White and Royal Blue, when they realize that there’s a whole crowd outside the palace all excited to the the Prince and his First son boyfriend… one can dream).
- I want whatever Felice said during the interview to be taken seriously, and for her to stop doubting herself.
- I want a genuine apology from August.
- Also one from Kristina.
- I get the feeling that the fact that August leaked the video might still come out publicly, what with the whole school issue. And in that case, I would like for it to be Simon might to do it, tossing the money from the settlement in his face. It looks like Simon still feels guilty about accepting it, especially when he chided Wille about his privilege and Wille (figuratively) threw the money back in his face. What if Simon does it literally?
- I really wanna know what’s going to happen between Felice and Sara now. The outlook is not good.
- Is it too much to ask to know what’s going on between Stella and Fredrika?
- Most importantly, is the whole thing with Erik going to come out eventually? And how will people react? With support for the monarchy, or with support for Wille?
I have so many more thoughts, but I’m slightly burnt out, and I really should take a break. Also this is way too long. Might have more thoughts once I’ve rewatched the first five episodes, calmly over the weekend…
Also this is very long and I’m sorry.
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whowantslovergirl · 3 months
Text
Why are you here?
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Nate Jacobs x reader (reader is female with she/her pronouns)
warnings: a lil bit of smut, suggestive lyrics ig, there is so much song fics i deeply apologize, cursing, this is before Maddy but they’re in junior year already, so like beginning of junior year, Y/N HAVING THE MOST SELF RESPECT, Nate Jacobs, mgk song 🤠,italics are flashbacks,^ this means start the song 💋 hope you enjoy my lovers 🤍
euphoria masterlist
Summary: Nate and Y/N are so bad for each other
posted: February 12,2024
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Nate and Y/N broke up two months ago and Nate still thinks they’re together. She can never move on. He definitely cannot move on. They are terrible for each other and they know that but they still find each other. ^
I hate that I saw you again last night
You were with somebody and so was I
Met you in the bathroom at 12:05
And I fucked you again
We can never be friends, yeah, yeah, yeah
You were at some random party. Maddy forced you to come. You were having fun until you saw him, your ex, on some other girl grinding on her. You can’t be mad. You had a date but still why is he with another girl.
_____
It was 12:05 you guys were both in the bathroom.
Fucking.
You can’t believe you did this.
“I can’t believe I did this! Get out of me Nate!” He finished and you were freaking out. You put your hands on your face freaking out. The main reason you were mad is because this is not the first time this happened.
“Calm down Y/N it’s not that serious.”
“To you! I promised myself that this bathroom thing will not happen again!” You rushed out of the bathroom leaving him.
I'm not myself
I'm not myself when you're around, no
Can't be helped
We are insane, that's just the way it goes
Nate and Y/N are back together for the tenth? time and it’s good for now.
Until you saw him with Maddy.
_____
“Maddy, Nate? Are you serious?”
“It’s not that serious Y/N.”
“You always say that! But if it was my ex you would be throwing a bitch fit!”
and he did.
**Flashback**
“Why the fuck were you talking to him!” Nate was screaming because you talking to your ex.
He accidentally bumped into you and said sorry and you said it’s fine.
That was the whole conversation.
“I’m sorry is two words talking now?! All I said was it’s fine!”
“Bullshit!”
You rolled your eyes. “Unbelievable Un fucking believable!”
**End of Flashback**
I'm a demon in the night
She's an angel with the white
Told me keep on all the lights
I'ma show you what you like
Two months later. Everyone is at a party.
And Nate is trying to get back together again.
“Come on you know we’re perfect for each other!”
“No we’re really not Nate. Please leave me alone. I have pepper spray and a pocket knife in my bag.” Then you walked away trying to leave.
Help you put back on your clothes
Make sure nothing's on your nose
Ain't even tell my closest homies, nobody knows
“We’re really not right?” Nate said smirking. The bathroom shit happened again.
“Shut the fuck up Nate.” You said rolling your eyes. He can see you struggling with your dress and helps you.
“Oh I bet you’re gonna brag about this huh? ‘Oh yea I fucked her again!’ right?”
“I actually never told anyone about this.” You just roll your eyes and left. That is such bullshit.
I hate that I saw you again last night
You were with somebody and so was I
Met you in the bathroom at 12:05
And I fucked you again
“Fuck!” You said finishing. He groaned and slipped out of you. “We really need to stop this nonsense Nate.”
“Why Y/n? Nothing is going wrong.”
“To you Nate! I promised myself I wouldn’t do this shit with you again!” He tried to speak but you just left. He smirked and left slightly after.
We can never be friends, yeah, yeah, yeah
“We can never be friends. We are way past that point.” You said while in Nate’s room. He asked if you guys can talk and you said yes.
“Yea friends don’t do what we do.” He said laughing.
“This isn’t funny Nate! We’re done. I’m done.” You said trying to walk out but he grabbed your arm. “If you’re done why was I inside you last night?”
“Ugh you’re an asshole!”
“I know. So I’ll see you in the bathroom Y/n.” You didn’t say anything and left like always.
I couldn't cry
I need to smoke, I'm feeling sick inside
From seeing you next to a friend of mine
We didn't speak but I read your mind
Both telling lies, our alibis didn't work this time
It’s been six months since you guys last fucked in the bathroom. And you’ve been taking care of yourself not worrying about Nate. You’re with McKay just talking, not anything special just catching up as two friends.
Nate saw this and just walked out, mad that you’re not talking to him or laughing with him. He’s so fucking angry.
I'm a demon in the night
She's an angel with the white
Told her keep on all the lights
You can show me what you like
“Hey angel.” You jumped because you didn’t know he was in there, in your room. “Nate get out.”
“You know you don’t want me to do that. I just wanna see you.”
“Well I don’t want to see you so get out.” He starts getting closer and the back of your knees hit the bed causing you to fall on the bed. He slowly comes on top of you and starts kissing, biting, and licking your neck.
“Nate stop.” You said pushing him away.
“You don’t really want me to stop do you?” You just stay silent and he takes off your shirt then his own.
“Ima show you what you like baby.”
Help me put back on my clothes
Make sure nothing's on my nose
Can't even tell my closest homies, nobody knows
Nate and Y/n are now dating (again) but secretly this time. You didn’t want the backlash from your friends and Nate was going with it because you told him too. He couldn’t give less of a fuck.
You guys are about to go to a party but got occupied with each other. Before you were about to go. “Wait Nate, you have stuff on your nose.” You said as you wipe the ‘stuff’ off his nose.
“Thanks baby.”
I hate that I saw you again last night
You were with somebody and so was I
Met you in the bathroom at 12:05
And I fucked you again
Nate and Y/n broke up again. They were at a party, saw the other with someone else, 12:05 hit the clock and they were back in the bathroom.
“We really need to stop Nate!”
We can never be friends, yeah, yeah, yeah
We can never be friends, yeah, yeah, yeah
We can never be friends
We can never be friends, yeah, yeah, yeah
You were calling Nate seeing if he’s busy and he picked up immediately.
“Hey angel.” You roll your eyes. “Hi Nate.”
“Why are you calling me?” You can hear the tiredness in his voice but you ignore it.
“I was saying that it’s over like forever. And I’m probably gonna go back but I just want some type of closure.”
“Ok…” He sat up in his bed and was about to say something but you beat him too it. “So bye Nate.”
Yeah, I know that I said I was at home
Okay, yeah, you caught me
I thought that you said you were all alone
Look at you lying
You’re at another party and you saw Nate. He said he was home. You walk up to him and tap him on the shoulder and he turned around looking like he seen a ghost. “I thought you were home Nate. I want to talk to you.”
“Don’t pin this on me Y/n. You said you were all alone. Look at you lying.”
“Shut the fuck up. Now come on I want to fuck you one last time before I actually end this.” His mouth opened a little bit but he smirked.
“Lead the way angel.”
I hate that I saw you again last night
You were with somebody and so was I
Met you in the bathroom at 12:05
And I fucked you again
After you guys were done. You sat on the sink and he sat across from you on the bathtub.
“Were you serious about you ending things for good?” He said breaking the silence. You just nodded and his head went in his hands.
“I really hate the way you make me feel Nate. We gotta end this for good. The only reason it didn’t happen sooner was because you didn’t want to end. You gotta let go Nate.”
We can never be friends, yeah, yeah, yeah
We can never be friends, yeah, yeah, yeah
We can never be friends
After you told Nate that it was over, he went completely MIA, missing classes, not going to practice. He can’t even fathom that this is happening. He thought you guys were forever.
That Y/n and Nate were forever.
We can never be friends, yeah, yeah, yeah
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An: HSIEJDIDJ ok but if you didn’t get the time placement THIS IS BEGINNING JUNIOR YEAR meaning that it just started so basically Y/n was Nate’s villain origin story 😔 BUT HOPED YOU ENJOYED MY LOVERS 🤍🤍
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schrijverr · 2 months
Text
Stiles as a Roommate
Classic outsiders POV of Stiles in college, where his roommate, Mike, and their other friends try to figure out who all these people are that keep calling Stiles.
On AO3.
Ships: Sterek
Warnings: they think Stiles is wrapped up in some bad shit (which valid tbh)
~~~~
Mike’s roommate is profoundly disturbing and highly hilarious to have around. On the first day he comes crashing into the room, tripping over himself like an old school physical comedy, before assuring Mike that he’s fine and it doesn’t even come close to being beaten to a pulp by a grandfather.
It’s quite the introduction and for a while Mike was worries that his roommate is going to suck. Stiles isn’t the typical college student, you see.
He has amassed an entire herb garden in the windowsill, skips out on most parties, keeps a metal baseball bat by his bed and calls home every single day. On top of that, he doesn’t know how to shut up and his rants devolve into the strangest bullshit about the most random topics that make Mike wonder why the hell criminology major had looked into them.
So, Mike thought he is stuck with a weird paranoid kid, who doesn’t know how to have fun. He worries about Stiles getting mad about him getting back in late or judgmental about not studying as much. However, his worries had soon been put to rest.
Because Stiles is fun and Stiles is easy. He can become anyone’s friend in minutes and is up later than healthy most of the time, doing weird bullshit on his laptop that he calls research, though Mike never knows what for.
He might not be a party-goer himself, but he absolutely doesn’t care about what Mike does, just jeering at him to use protection when he goes out and waking him up with a smug smirk and coffee when Mike wants to disappear into his mattress with a hangover, kicking his ass to classes.
Stiles is probably what is keeping him from failing right now and Mike will go to great lengths to keep him as his friend, because, yeah, they’re friends now.
It’s impossible not to befriend Stiles, he grows on you like a very persistent mold.
His friendship with Stiles starts six weeks into rooming together. Classes are in full swing alongside parties and Mike has just started to get worried about his roommate being a stick in the mud, when he comes home at 4:00 AM piss drunk.
Naturally he tries (and fails) to quietly enter the room, trying not the be the dickbag that wakes people up every night to find the lights still on. He blinks a few times at Stiles, who is sitting on his bed with a laptop and smartly says: “Huh.”
“God, you’re so fucking drunk it’s not even funny, dude. I can smell it from here and I don’t even have a freaky nose,” Stiles comments, before he gets up from the bed.
Mike sways slightly in the doorway, mentally trying to decide if he can do a stumble and drop to his bed or if he’ll sleep on the floor when Stiles is suddenly in front of him. He startles and nearly falls over, saved from faceplanting by Stiles, who is usually the one meeting the floor.
“Oh, hey, there, hey, buddy,” Stiles says, righting him. He slips an arm around Mike and masterfully stumble-drags him to the bed, depositing him on it. He points at Mike, who is still reeling from the movement and sternly says: “Don’t move,” as if Mike had any big plans.
Moments later he returns with a glass of water and gets Mike upright, telling him to sip and not allowing him to stop until the glass is empty.
Mike isn’t sure what happens next, but the next morning he wakes up with a groan to find two painkillers, a glass of water and a glass of orange juice on his bedside table along with a note reading: go to your classes! And you’re not a very eloquent drunk
In that moment, it feels like the nicest thing anyone has ever done for him, swiftly forgetting all his parents have done under the pounding headache. He takes his painkillers, drinks his drinks and actually manages to drag himself to his lecture, deciding that Stiles might not be so bad.
When he comes back from his class, Stiles is there, typing away on his laptop again. He greets Mike when he enters and Mike returns it: “Hey, dude. Thanks for the painkillers and stuff.”
“Yeah, man, no problem,” Stiles smiles back. “It’s just instinct at this point, I’ve had to drag worse people off to bed.”
It’s a bit of an odd reply, but something Mike can work with. “You friends with many party-goers?”
A strange look flits over Stiles’ face, but it goes as fast as it comes and Stiles says: “Something like that. I was the one with a car, who wasn’t a prick about it getting dirty on the inside when in crisis. I have passed up on many party experiences except the clean up. All my friends are idiots.”
Mike chuckles at that and plops down on his own bed, as he comments: “Do you have a big friend group back home?” See, he can have conversations, mom.
“Oh, yeah,” Stiles tells him with a grin. “We’re like a family. A very weird family.” A brief pause. “But how about you?”
“Nah,” Mike shrugs. “I’m making up for it now.”
“Yeah, I can see,” Stiles grins. “Alcohol is a poison, my man. Besides, I’m not sure you’re remembering the friends you made.”
The bluntness is something Mike has encountered before and turned him away, but it doesn’t sound mean. He remembers that he is going to try with Stiles, so instead of ending the conversation there, he shrugs: “Probably, but it’s fun while it lasts.”
“Come on, man, that’s not fun,” Stiles says. “I have some friends from introduction. We get fries on Thursdays and study on Sunday. You can come sometime, it’s fun.”
Okay, so the bluntness was genuine concern and Mike honestly could use some actual friends. He likes parties, they’re fun, but the loneliness is starting to get to him. So he replies: “Sure, sounds fun.”
“Hell yeah,” Stiles does a genuine fist pump and Mike snorts. Yeah, alright, maybe Stiles isn’t so bad at all.
“Why were you awake so late anyway?” Mike asks, suddenly remembering that Stiles was just sitting there when he stumbled in.
“Oh, Jackson called me,” Stiles says. “He’s in studying in at Cambridge, because his parents are pretentious fuckers. He needed to check in about… something and I was still awake. I had to look something up, I was just emailing him the details when you came in.”
“All the way in England?” Mike whistles, a bit impressed.
“Tsk, don’t let hear him that. Dick has a big enough ego as it is,” Stiles rolls his eyes.
“I thought you were his friend?” Mike says, a bit confused, because Stiles had literally picked up the phone at 4:00 AM for this guy, couldn’t be that much bad blood, could there?
“Surprisingly enough. He had a restraining order against me in high school for a while,” Stiles informs him casually, before realizing how that sounds and quickly amending: “Obviously, he revoked it, because it was completely unnecessary and a big misunderstanding. We’re cool now, promise.”
And that’s Mike’s cue to drop the conversation, giving Stiles a tight nod, before turning to his own work. He’s giving the other a chance, not inviting crazy. Though he does allow himself to be invited for fries on Thursday with Stiles’ friends.
There is Maya a shy, but enthusiastic biology major; Aalif, a kind but serious looking pre-law student; Nikki, a hilariously insane art major; and Kai a bit of a dorky English major. How Stiles had found this ragtag group Mike doesn’t know
“Mike,” he introduces himself. “I do history. I’m Stiles’ roommate,” before he’s pulled into a discussion about whether or not fries can be classified as a salad. (Potato salad exists, Mike, and it’s a side dish).
It’s honestly a lot more fun than expected and it’s nice to see that Stiles does know how to have fun, he just has fun arguing about nothing with someone studying to argue professionally instead of getting wasted.
While Mike doesn’t think he’ll keep away from parties entirely, he might cut back to make place for this. The genuine connection is way nicer than not remembering who you talked to, or if you even did.
They’re about to start opening the famous is cereal-soup debate when Stiles’ phone starts to ring. He nearly hits his head on the table as he dives to get it out of his bag, calling out a quick: “Sorry, guys, gotta take this real quick.”
But since he is stuck in a booth, all he can do is turn away from them as he greets: “Isaac, what’s wrong? Did something happen?”
It’s not the most standard greeting and Mike raises his brow at the others, who all shrug. Apparently this has happened before. Mike watches as Stiles gets a reply, fascinated by how Stiles seems to melt, worries leaving him as he grins fondly, before practically cooing: “You missing me already? I am flattered, pup.”
He grins some more at what Isaac is saying, before raising a brow, voice turning into a tease: “I feel used here. Like a cheap replacement. You knew Scott was going to be busy with Allison, I even warned you. Not my fault no one in this p- family ever listens to me.”
Another reply to which Stiles says: “Yes, you heard correctly, I’m with friends, you can make those at college. I encourage you to try.”
An eyeroll at Isaac’s answer, then a sigh: “Yes, Isaac, having your own friends will get their attention again. But try also for yourself, meeting new people is fun. Maybe you even meet someone you like.”
“Bye, Isaac,” Stiles says pointedly, it sounds faintly like Isaac is protesting his departure, but he hangs up on him.
“Sorry about that, you know how they can get,” Stiles grins, trying to play it off, while Mike tries to ignore how much it sounds like the conversation he had with his mom last week, before deciding to join the others in not commenting.
And after that it their friendship takes off until they’re at the ‘waking him up with a smug smirk and coffee when Mike wants to disappear into his mattress with a hangover, kicking his ass to classes’- stage.
Turns out that if you’re closer to Stiles, he’s even weirder. He goes home pretty often, now that he has settled in alright, nearly every other weekend, at least once a month, though he complains about his dad forcing him to stay at college to get the full experience, air quotes obvious in his voice.
Mike doesn’t say anything, since he kind of agrees with Stiles’ dad. It’s a bit unhealthy how much Stiles’ calls home. Or at least, Mike thinks he does, though it always sounds like it’s someone else on the phone, because Stiles will tell the same story a bunch of times or tell the person that another person told him to tell them etc, like they couldn't call themselves.
The conversations are also just weird. Stiles cuts himself off sometimes, sending Mike looks, or he’ll fuss over whoever is on the other side of the line like he’s their therapist, or their fucking mother. Not to mention the fact that he always – always – picks up.
Mike has tried to call Stiles a few times, a lot of the time his roommate won’t pick up, or call back apologetically, yet he’ll leave a lecture if someone from home calls.
It’s just odd.
So, brave soldier as he is (as well as the head investigator of their little friend group, who are all more curious about Stiles than Mike expected when he first met them), he asks: “Hey, man, who are you always calling?”
Stiles look up from where has just hung up with a: “You be careful okay? I love you,” looking a bit confused, before smiling and shrugging: “That depends, honestly. It’s a bit much.”
That sounds like a deflection, but Mike is curious and got better at talking to people and standing up for himself. So, he goes: “I have time. I’m smart. I think I can take it.”
“Alright,” Stiles shoots him another uncertain look, before starting, “Well, my dad and Derek are holding down the fort, so I call them just to see how life is going. Boyd and Erica are there too, so I call them too, but Boyd doesn’t talk much, so I mostly call with Erica. She is my Catwoman, you know, we chat, she spills about Boyd. He has his own carpentry shop, it’s been going well. I’m glad for him, you know. And Erica is taking a gap year, but to be honest, I think she likes being a park ranger too much to ever go back to school.”
Mike nods along to Stiles’ rambles. His dad is explainable and the fact that he added Derek in there must mean they’re a unit in his mind, maybe a brother? Or even his father’s boyfriend. Erica is someone he’s close with and knows well, called her his Catwoman, so maybe girlfriend? But he connected her to Boyd, who sounds like a far friend of sorts, so maybe not.
“Of course there is Jackson in England,” Stiles continues on happily. “I told you about him. He is a bit of a dick, but we’ve forgiven him. Well, Lydia did and we all trusted her and it worked out okay.”
And yeah, Mike remembers Jackson with the apparent restraining order and wonders who Lydia is. Luckily he doesn’t have to wait long.
“Lydia,” Stiles sighs, making Mike think he loves her, which he naturally immediately disproves by going, “I used to be in love with her, but turns out, no. She’s being an absolute genius doing mathematics at CalTech. She terrifies me in the best ways.”
That’s not concerning at all.
“And then you have Scott, my best friend,” Stiles rambles on and Mike knows that the other probably won’t even notice if he leaves. He gets like that. “Now my man Scott is at Colorado State
to become a vet alongside Allison and Isaac.”
Those two names are also familiar and Mike feels awkward staying silent, so he says: “They’re all become vets?”
“No, just Scott, but they’re all at Colorado State, because Scott will probably perish without Allison and Isaac hates being lonely and didn’t get into Stanford with me,” Stiles says, like that’s the most obvious reason to pick a school.
Mike is distracted by Stiles hitting his arm enthusiastically: “Allison is also doing history, man, I hadn’t even thought of that! I don’t know how it would be relevant either, but you know, fun fact! I love fun facts, like did you know that human teeth are the only part of the body that can’t heal themselves, because enamel is dead tissue. That was fun to find out.”
He senses that there is a story there, but Stiles is already moving on: “And Isaac, my beautiful boy, is doing social studies, which I think will really help him. He’s come so far and he’s really happy with his courses.”
Isaac was the one that called during that first Thursday fries run Mike was a part of. He recalls the nicknames and the fact that Isaac was missing Stiles, not to mention how fond Stiles sounded and the fact that Isaac wanted to go to college with him. Maybe Isaac was the boyfriend?
“Anyways,” Stiles ends his rant. “I told you it’s a bit much, but I like knowing they’re okay and getting by and if I only call one, the others will get jealous. There’s only so much Stiles to go around and everyone wants a piece,” he grins.
Mike thinks Stiles has a weird relationship with his friends from back home, but also that he doesn’t want to create any friction with his roommate and best friend on campus, so he just nods and smiles a bit.
“But how about you?” Stiles returns the question. “You never call home, at least, not that I’ve witnessed.”
Since Stiles decided to share, something he rarely does, Mike knows he should return the favor, so he shrugs. “Not really much to call.”
“Is no one there?” Stiles asks, all concern.
“My mom and dad are, but you know,” Mike shrugs. “Dad just cares about my grades and mom is always prying, like she thinks I can’t manage by myself or something. It’s fucking annoying. I’m an adult now, she doesn’t need to hover.”
Stiles frowns at his reply, then bites his lip as if he isn’t sure he should say something, before he breaks and blurts: “But isn’t that nice? To have someone who worries?”
“What?” Mike hadn’t thought Stiles would pick his mom’s side, though maybe he should have seen it coming.
“I mean, I don’t know your situation of course, but I get it,” Stiles shrugs, backing off a bit. “You’ve always been her baby, who she saw every single day and knew when you had a bad day, when you got a good grade, etc, now she has nothing and you don’t tell her, so her mind makes up all the horrible things that could have happened to you between calls, resulting in what is practically an interrogation until she is satisfied that you’re truly as okay as you claim you are… Wow, that was one hell of s sentence,” Stiles ends his keen observation with a joke to lighten it up a bit, since he got way too into that.
Mike attempts to wade through the sea of words just slung to his head, before he realizes Stiles kind of has a point. He breathes: “How do you even know that?”
Stiles scratches his nose and shrugs: “I might be a bit of the mom-friend.” And Mike is reminded of the fact that Stiles is really weird with his friends and that he probably knows that because he does the exact same thing his mother does.
Next Sunday, he reports all this to the study group, which Stiles has had to skip out on, because someone called at midnight, which obviously meant Stiles immediately packed is bags and left, something that is more common than Mike would like.
“That’s a lot of friends,” Maya comments once he is done. “But it’s sweet he cares so much about them.”
“He cares mom-levels about them,” Mike points out. “I’m telling you, he got so intense while defending my mom, like it was personal.”
“So, he’s a bit intense about is friends,” Nikki shrugs. “One girl in my class is making a shrine to her boyfriend as a final project. We’re not at that level yet, so I think we’re good.”
“He took off in the middle of the night on a three hour drive, because someone called,” Mike replies.
“I don’t think it’s really any of our concern,” Aalif interrupts, before it can get out of hand.
“But what if they’re like a creepy cult or something?” Nikki asks.
Aalif levels her a look as he says: “I don’t think Stiles would get drawn into a cult.”
“You don’t know that,” she raises a brow. “It happens, even to smart people like Stiles.”
“He has a metal baseball bat by his bed,” Mike offers, not sure why he is backing Nikki in this debate.
“He does?” Maya asks, a bit concerned.
They all now look at Mike and he suddenly realizes that they’ve never been into their room, which is why he has become Stiles source number 1. He shrugs: “Yeah, he took it with him when he left for home tonight. It’s all damaged and shit, though I think some carvings are intentional. They look a bit like runes.”
Nikki raises a brow as she looks at Aalif and says: “But you don’t think Stiles could have joined a cult.”
“I don’t think a cult would have allowed him to leave for college, not to mention do criminology,” Maya offers. “I think he’s following a seminar about cults right now actually.”
“Okay, but even without a cult, still suspicious and weird,” Nikki huffs. “And it’s still a possibility, right, Mike?”
Mike startles a bit unsure how he got on the pro-cult side and not sure he isn’t agreeing. “I mean, he does have all these herbs and some weird books, but those could be from the library.”
And now they’re giving him more looks. Great. He puts his hands up defensively: “It’s not like I know, alright. Stiles never exactly cooks, maybe he just likes the smell of the herbs. And the books could be an aesthetic thing, though he keeps him under his bed in a box if they’re his.”
“What sort of books?” Kai asks after a beat.
“They’re leather bound. Old,” Mike shrugs. “I haven’t seen him with them much. He shoves them out of sight when I get in and the only times he hasn’t was when he thought I was asleep or very drunk.”
“Creepy,” Maya shivers.
“Come on, this is Stiles,” Aalif says. “He is not in some creepy cult. Do you all even hear yourselves? Seriously. Now, the midterms are coming up and I would like to get some passing grades.”
That gets a few boos and boring’s thrown at him, but Aalif doesn’t falter and they do all giggle a bit at the ridiculousness of Stiles in a cult. Before they can truly get anything done, Nikke snorts: “Maybe he tripped into it,” sending them all into giggles again.
It isn’t a joke anymore when Stiles reappears again on their Thursday fry run his face more bruise than skin and his hands both wrapped in bandages.
“Stiles!” Kai exclaims, already out of his seat. “What happened to you?”
“Hey there, guys,” Stiles attempts a grin, wincing at the action. “I’m good, I’m good.” He eases himself into their booth, wrapped fingers taking some fries and popping them into his mouth as the rest watches him with careful eyes. Of course he notices as he chews slowly, whispering to himself: “Knew Derek was right about the liquid diet. Fucker.”
“What happened?” Aalif asks when Stiles seems like he is going to ignore the whole situation that is his face and hands. “Stiles, if someone did this to do, you have to go to the police, file a report. You can sue.”
“Of course you’d say that, lawyer-man,” Stiles grins again, falling flat once more when his already split lip, re-splits and starts to bleed. “Ah, fuck,” he hisses, grabbing a napkin to press against it as he makes a disgruntled face.
“Stiles,” Nikki snaps.
“What?” he replies as if it’s not incredibly obvious.
Mike surprises himself by jumping in: “What the hell happened to you, man?”
It dawns on Stiles that they’re not letting it go and he sags a bit in his seat. Then says: “Nothing, I promise. It was just an accident, really.”
That’s just a thousand red flags there and Maya takes the lead for them, putting a hand on Stiles shoulder and saying in a soft voice: “We’re not going to judge you, promise. But right now, not knowing is so much worse.”
“Derek told me not to come,” Stiles sighs after a moment. “I knew it was stupid, but I wanted to come. I mean, he only had Boyd and Erica with him, because all the others were too far away. That wasn’t enough.”
“What were they doing?” Nikki asks, unable to keep her mouth shut and be patient.
Luckily, Stiles isn’t silenced by it. “Derek lives on the preserve, it’s in the middle of the forest and something was killing the animals. It was a mountain lion, we have a lot of animal attacks. They wanted to take it out before it moved into the town.”
Mike remembers Stiles telling him Erica was a park ranger, but Boyd was a carpenter and he knew nothing about Derek, which is weird on its own. Stiles loved bragging about his friends, or would casually comment about them or pick up the phone with their name on his lips, but Mike had before now heard the name Derek only once.
“Of course I tripped over a few branches in the dark,” Stiles laughs self-deprecatingly. “I should have known better. I’m a klutz, you know. Though I did get a hit in, before I went down in a not so glorious blaze of branches and a curse.”
“You hit a mountain lion?” Kai whisper yells.
“Yeah, with my bat,” Stiles shrugs, like it’s a normal thing.
“Dude, are you insane?” Mike asks.
“Oh, okay, I see what’s happening here,” Stiles backs up, like they didn’t make sense before now. “I didn’t want to admit I fell, because it’s embarrassing as fuck. And like, I know I’m clumsy, but after all the running away from shit trying to kill me, one would think I’d have gotten better at it, but noooo. I am surrounded by people who can do crazy shit, while I hit my head on a fucking branch, because why not.”
“Stiles!” Nikke cuts him off. “Running away from things trying to kill you? What the hell.”
“I was getting there,” Stiles says, though it’s obvious to all of them that he was getting further and further away from the point. “When I was in high school there were all these murders in town. My friend was targeted at one point, I got caught up in it. Nothing makes a friendship like getting locked into a school and running from a crazed murderer or holding someone up in a pool for two hours. It was a whole thing. Plus my father is the sheriff.”
“What the fuck,” Nikki voices the shared sentiment after a moment to process.
“Wait, here I have proof,” Stiles taps away on his phone, before showing a news article with the tagline reading: Five teens trapped in high school with murderer still on the loose
After letting them read it, he puts his phone in his pocket and proudly says: “We’re having a project about crimes in our hometown right now and I have an advantage over the rest.”
“That’s- That’s not-” Maya stutters. “…Stiles…”
“What?” he says confused, as if what he just bragged about isn’t heartbreaking. God, no wonder he’s a bit fucked from it all. Mike would want to know if all his friends are okay if he nearly saw them all killed alongside him.
“Are you, like, okay?” Mike asks.
“Probably not, like in general,” Stiles tells him honestly, “but I am really fine. As fine as I get anyway. Derek says I have to work on that, but he’s not the boss of me and I actually am doing better. I don’t know why I’m telling you all this, sorry.”
“No, it’s fine,” Maya smiles kindly. “We just want to know you’re okay. Thanks for trusting us with that. Did you get those wounds checked out?”
“I did,” he returns her smile. “Got a clean bill of health and everything. Dad wouldn’t let me drive back before that.”
“Good,” Aalif says.
They’re all quiet for a moment, before the thing that has been niggling on his mind comes out. He asks: “Who is this Derek person anyway?”
Stiles regards them all for a moment, before saying: “I don’t think we reached that level of friendship yet. Sorry. Like, you’re all my friends and stuff and I like bragging about my other friends to you, but I don’t know.”
“What?” Mike exclaims as Nikki points out: “You just told us you nearly got murdered, but telling us about a friend is a step too far?”
“You know, that is actually a good point,” Stiles says. “I must still be a bit lightheaded from everything, I normally don’t tell people that.”
“Should we take you to a hospital? Kai asks worriedly.
“No, no, I’m kidding, I think,” Stiles jokes, before quickly adding, “I am truly kidding, please don’t take me to a hospital. God, no one appreciates my humor.”
“Stiles,” Aalif sighs tiredly when Stiles deftly gets them on a different topic than Derek.
“Derek is my husband,” Stiles finally tells them, shutting them all up as they stare at them with their jaws on the floor. That explains Stiles trips home and lack of partying or otherwise getting laid, he had a whole fucking husband waiting for him at home.
None of them could know that Stiles’ reluctance to talk about Derek and his relation is that as a prominent alpha, broadcasting that they were ‘mated’ (and yes, Derek, that term is still weird to a human) isn’t really smart. Especially after everything that had already come to Beacon Hills.
“Y- Your husband?!?” Kai squeaks.
“This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you all,” Stiles groans. “You can’t imagine the rumor mill at home when it happened, like seriously, people were acting like I was signing my life away to the devil or something.”
“Why?” Maya asks and Mike has to agree. Marriage so early isn’t exactly uncommon, it just took them by surprise this time. What would make this different.
“I-” Stiles looks genuinely sheepish, “I might have gotten him arrested for a murder he didn’t commit and stuff. But that was like, what? Two, three years ago.”
Immediately their table exploded, voices overlapping, because – again – what the fuck.
“He didn’t do it!” Stiles exclaims, shutting them all up. “He was framed. Set up. Look, I know he wasn’t the killer. Derek saved my life, like a bazillion times at this point. I love him.”
Despite the bruises, the look on his face is quite clear with love oozing off of it. Like full on, ‘Disney princess, soulmate, found the one’-love. It’s a bit disgusting in Mike’s terribly single opinion.
“Well, then I want to see him,” Nikki demands. “You can’t tell us you got swept off your feet by a mysterious would be murderer and not expect us to want to see him.”
Stiles shoots them all a suspicious look, which is pretty rude all things considering, but Mike lets it slide in favor of satiating his curiosity. Then Stiles pulls out his phone, showing them a sequence of pictures that said more than words could.
It’s obviously their wedding day. They’re both in full suits, standing in a forest with the sunset hitting them, putting them in a glow of light. Derek is apparently a handsome, muscled man, who screams not bad boy as much as serial killer.
The first picture is pretty standard. They’re looking at each other, Derek’s bad boy vibe killed by the fact that he is smiling softly at Stiles, who is smiling back. Derek’s smile is toothachingly fond in a way that Mike feels in his chest.
In the second picture, the murder vibes are back in full force, with Derek glaring at Stiles, who looks like he’s saying something, his face smug like it’s an inside joke, his hands up to gesture like he always does.
Then, in the last picture, Stiles has Derek’s cheeks between his hand, face contorted in something Mike would call a coo, if Derek didn’t look like the kind of guy who would allow anything resembling a coo being directed at him. Though, Mike might have to rethink that assumption, because while Derek is raising one murderous eyebrow, the smile has returned again.
“I am his favourite annoyance,” Stiles announces proudly. “It’s wonderful how much bugging someone can do.”
And all of them would have guessed Derek was the one, who had pursued Stiles, but here Stiles is, telling them all about how he is a master at befriending people and Derek honestly needed someone to tell him how horrible he was at decorating or socializing, before fixing it for him.
Beside him, Nikki mutters: “Dear god, he has an ‘I can fix him’-mentality. We’re doomed.”
“I heard that!” Stiles exclaims indignantly, though he doesn’t deny it per se. But when Nikki’s soda arrives, it explodes in her face and Mike would almost suspect Stiles had something to do with it if he had to go off the smug look.
They drop the topic of Stiles injuries and apparent husband, for the evening, which Stiles seems grateful for at least, before catching him up on campus gossip. Still, they keep their eye on him and it’s hard to forget with his face all fucked up.
When they leave, Maya leans in and whispers to Mike: “Keep an eye on him for us, okay?”
He nods quickly, before hurrying after Stiles, who is yelling at him to hurry or he’ll drive back without him.
Mike also keeps his word, so when Stiles’ phone starts to ring, he pretends to be engrossed in his book, while secretly keeping an ear on Stiles’ conversation. He usually doesn’t listen in, unless something is so weird it breaks through his mental barriers, but he feels like this can be an exception.
“Hey there, big guy,” Stiles greets, voice much gentler than Mike ever remembered it being.
“Yeah, worrywolf, I’m fine,” Stiles tells whoever is on the other side. “Dad wouldn’t have let me drive otherwise and neither would you for that matter. You checked me yourself before letting me go, quite thoroughly I might add.”
And that last part is definitely an innuendo, dear god, Mike did not want to know that. However, it is confirmation that it’s Derek on the line, so he listens even harder.
“I know I overdid it, but no one got hurt except a few bruises on me,” Stiles argues. “And I get hurt even when I’m not in danger, you know how doors and the air are my biggest enemies. Come on, Derek. If it was bad, I would have told you. We promised remember? You made it part of our vows, because you are a complete softie.”
Okay, Mike isn’t going to lie, that’s actually pretty cute and he slightly hates that he’s becoming team Derek when all he knows is that he was (falsely) arrested for murder and married to Stiles, who comes running home when called on.
“I promise not to run into danger again,” Stiles tells Derek. “Well, I promise not to run needlessly into danger again and honestly one could argue that this time wasn’t needlessly, because you are my damsel in distress as much as you want to cast me in that roll.” A beat. “Yes, I will never let you forget the pool, we discussed this.”
“Yes, Derek, I always take care of my wounds,” Stiles rolls his eyes. “I’ll even send you picture updates and call you every day. How does that sound?”
Oh god, Derek is actually a concerned boyfriend – excuse me, husband ��� who needs updates and called the day Stiles left because he was worried. Mike is never going to be able to tell the others that without it turning into a riot.
“Great, because I am going to bed,” Stiles says. “Midterms are coming up and while spending time with you is a hundred times better, I actually need to pass these if I ever want to get a degree. So, goodbye, I love you.”
A bit of silence, then a very love-filled chuckle: “Of course I’m going to think of you. I always sleep better with you, you know that. Now bye. Love you, again and always.”
Fucking hell, Mike is going to die of a toothache, caused by his happily married roommate, which is honestly where his life is at right now.
Though, Mike can honestly live with a weird roommate. It’s a source of entertainment and he now can rest knowing Stiles has someone watching out for him, preventing him from going off the deep end, which was an honest concern.
Stiles is weird, but with what Mike knows, he’s allowed to be a bit strange and he honestly doesn’t want to know more than he does.
~~
A/N:
Disclaimer: I am not shitting on parties, if you like them, go nuts. I just don’t drink and hate social interaction, so I wouldn't know how to write a good party scene even if I wanted to, lmao.
Idk how well it came through, but Stiles is magic and burned his hands while overdoing it in the fight he got injured in. He also totally exploded Nikki’s drink as petty revenge, his herbs are also related to magic.
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jeansplaytoy · 6 months
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aot people and what dogs they have
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this was funnnn , no warnings !!
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starting off , i feel like eren would have a french bulldog 😭 he don’t even seem like a big dog typa person (not in the animal way) but he would def name the dog after him like with the same initials or something. like ej (eren jeager) jr.
“ej jr, getcho ass back over here.”
“bruh ej jr ian even playin nomo bruh.”
“junior, why you eat my new…” and take a deep ass breath. “why you eat my new shoes?”
but to be honest he can’t even be mad cus him and the dog act just alike 💀 and i feel like ej jr would be hella nice, just play too much (like eren). like the amount of times this dog has took off down the sidewalk and eren just stood there, sick and tired of the bullshit. he’d definitely be one of those people that would be like “dogs too much to handle” but kept the dog no matter whatttt.
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next up is connie, who would prolly have a doberman i’m not even finna lie. like he would want a dog that looks scary, but isn’t actually mean. and that’s specifically his dog.
like he’s trained enough that if connie tells him to attack like for real, that mf gon attack. but he’s trained enough to know if connie just playin or not. but he got it kinda good cus when i say everybody is scared of this boys dog …. it ain’t even funny 💀
everybody is scared of it except for the main group. he gotta keep it in its room (yet it had its own room) for somebody to come over his house.
and i feel like he’d name it like domino or spade (ykyk).
“yo spade come here lil bro!”
“spade go eat yo food, you had me fixing that shit for nun.”
“spade. go in yo room fool.”
he also squares up and play fights wit the dog 😭.
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next up is jean. now this mf know he wrong, but he would have one of them tall ass dogs, like a irish wolfhound or sumn.
now this dog is sum else, jeans dog would be hella chill, but taking it out in public? 💀shiddd. everybody staring and looking like a mf and he honestly, HONESTLYYY don’t understand why. people will literally be like “bruh, that dog is huge as fuck.” and he’ll just be like “ion know what y’all be talmout, but ight.” AND IT AINT NO ACT cus he tall too😭.
the dogs name would prolly be clifford, ngl. the only difference is that the dog ain’t red. but other than that, he chill as hellll.
“clifford, stop tryna eat paper and shit!”
“cliff’ you chewed my bottle of water bro.”
“clifford, go. just go sit down, damn.”
there’s really no problems with this dog other than the fact that it’s big, but it’s trained a lot and hella good. like the dog knows to sit down in its normal spot when people come over and not to try to jump on people when they’re standing up, stuff like that.
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so ony would probably have a small dog just like eren, and it’d probably be a papillon and lemme tell you, he would literally treat this dog like a princesssss omggg.
buy her clothes, paint her nails, brush and comb her hair, brush her teeth, treats everywhere in the bottom of the pantry. like he’ll treat the dog like his own daughter. he always holds her, she’s trained (kind of), like what else could a dog ask for?
but the namewise, i feel like he’d name his dog princeee, honestly. 😭
“princess, bring yo tiny ass-“
“you hungry, P’?”
“princess get that shit out yo mouth!”
of course he’ll only fuss at the dog if she really being disobedient like the time his bed was covered in toilet paper, like ten rolls.
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now speaking of fussing, mikasa will forever get fussed at for buying not one, but two black perro de prasa canarios. when i say this girl don’t give a damn bout walking at night with her hands full at all, even when the dogs ain’t on a leash, they’re trained REALLY good. so when she’s actually scared or nervous about somebody following her, they’ll do exactly what she says. full on barking and then stopping mid bark when she says so.
everybodies scared of her dog (and connie would be jealous because not that many people really care about his when they see hers) but it’s not even on purpose, she just wants them for protection honestly.
their names would probably be bullet and gun. obviously.
“gun, bullet, why is there dog food everywhere?”
“gun, bro stop tryna fight bullet.”
“bullet, stop shaking water everywhere!”
bullet is bullet because he got a lot of energy and gun is gun because he’s more intimidating. like they got the spike collars and all, mikasa was not playing.
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last but not least, sasha would have a dog that she could laugh at everyday, like a greyhound.
now honestly her and this dog will argue each other from the minute she wakes up to the minute she goes back to sleep. they would be so on and off. 😭 but she’d dress the dog up and stuff and be really nice to it.
the only thing she’d really laugh at is how skinny the dog looks. but the name would probably be bones.
“bones, stop chewing on my airpods cases!”
“bones, get out. please get out.”
“bones stop scratching meee!”
but she obviously loves her dog cus she’s the type to have it since she was like 16 maybe. and they play fight too but she always ends up losing the fight, and one of her lashes in the process.
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let’s not talk about how i fg to put armin, hope u enjoyed.
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faestolemythoughts · 22 days
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More Stardew hcs 🌸💚
Sam/Seb
Slight TW, boys smokin the devils lettuce
-Sam has a tendency to fall asleep literally anywhere. Wether it’s on the floor, outside somehow, or most often.. Seb’s bed.
When I say Seb’s bed though, it’s hardly ever in a normal position. He usually falls asleep mid-game, slumping against the wall or hanging halfway off or (Seb’s absolute favorite) sprawled out across the entire already small bed.
Sebastian never notices until it’s too late. He’s always too focused in whatever video game they’re playing, only looking over when Sam stops replying to whatever he’s saying. Every time it happens he wants to be mad, he really does. He just can’t seem to be irritated when Sam looks like that when he sleeps. He’d die before he ever told Sam that he looks pretty when he sleeps.
It’s always a chore to shove Sam (the heaviest sleeper sebs ever fucking seen) aside so he can lay in his own bed.
They’d both be lying if they said they never ended up against each other.. because it’s warm of course.
Let’s just say Abby’s found them like that countless times. She has the pictures to prove it.
-The first time Sam wants to try smoking with Seb (not cigarettes 🍃) Is after a particularly bad day with his family. They’re around 17-18. Senior year. Kent keeps getting on him about college and other bullshit he wants no part in. His mom won’t stop agreeing with him. He’s sick of it. He needs.. well, weed.
Barging into Sebs room eyes immediately on the dark blue glass piece, Seb can tell something’s wrong.
“I need you to give me that.” Sam huffs. Motioning at the bong.
Sebastian almost laughs. He would’ve if it weren’t for the look on Sam’s face that’s really telling him he really does need to unwind.
“You sure? Don’t wanna talk?”
“Just- pack it or whatever it’s called.”
Sebastian hastily does what he’s told. He’s fighting himself and definitely feels like a horrible influence right now. But Sam’s a grown man and can make his own choices, so he hands the bong to Sam, tucking the bowl pack in his pocket.
they make their way up to the top of the hill, veering right of the spa near the train tunnels, knowing damn well they can’t do this anywhere near the house. As they make the 10 minute or so walk, Sam finally starts talking.
“I really wish my mom would be on my side one time.”
Seb motions for Sam to take the bong out of his jacket where it had been conveniently hidden from anyone’s sight.
“Want me to show you how?”
“I fucking know how.”
Eyebrows raised Seb just sets in the bowl piece and tosses Sam the lighter.
“Okay.”
Sam definitely doesn’t know how. His first try he doesn’t put his mouth right against the glass, not creating a suction therefore getting no smoke. A very familiar bitch face from Seb is accompanied with a tsk noise and an eye roll.
“Let me show you before you waste all my weed.” Seb reaches a hand out, grabbing the glass while still in Sam’s hands, guiding it closer to his mouth. “Put it all the way against your face so air can’t get in.”
He takes the lighter from Sam’s hands, suddenly acutely aware of the fact that their hands are overlapping. He keeps it there though.
“I’m gonna light it for you, you ready?”
Sam nods, making eye contact, a sliver of nervousness and.. something else Seb can’t quite make out on his face. Sebastian flicks the lighter and Sam seemingly knows to start to breathe in. He lets the glass fill up about half way with smoke, then takes the metal piece out, letting Sam breathe it in.
He thinks the kid is just about going to die with how hard he coughs. He lets himself laugh this time, smacking him on the back telling him the burning will pass.
“Fuck- how do you- do that so often?” Sam manages between coughs.
“You get used to it. Promise. Tell me if you don’t feel right. We can go home.”
“I don’t really.. feel anything. When does it like kick in?” He clears his throat, which now feels a little strange.
“Give it a second.” Seb mumbles.
Upon realizing he hadn’t gotten a hit of his own, Sebastian takes the bong from Sam’s hands, taking a long hit of his own, puffing the smoke. Sam watches as the smoke fades away all around them, feeling different than before.
He watches as Sebastian’s face relaxes, a little jealous that it seems to have a sudden affect on him.
“Can I have another one?” He asks.
“Jesus, Sammy. Thought you’d be a lightweight.” Sebastian hands him the bong again. “One more. After that wait a few minutes.”
Sebastian lights it again for him, making sure he doesn’t get way too much smoke. Sam coughs for another minute again.
Sebastian takes another hit himself, gently setting the glass on a flat piece of earth where he hopes it won’t tip.
They sit in silence for a while after that. Just watching the lights of the valley flicker on as the sunlight starts to fade. He almost thinks Sam might be immune to marijuana until he hears little giggles coming from beside him.
“You ever notice how when Kent gets mad that little vein in his neck really pops out.” Sam laughs.
Sebastian can’t help but laugh out loud. Fuck his neck vein really does pop out. Sam is definitely high.
“You feeling good there buddy?” Seb asks, which just makes them both crack right up again.
“I can’t believe you hid this from me this entire time.” Sam huffs, faking dramatics.
“You could’ve just asked, dipshit.”
“I think I might love weed.”
Sebastian makes the critical mistake of looking over at Sam who looks.. so fucking pretty. His puffy red eyes, his slightly strewn hair and his dopey little smile.
Fuck. This is not good. Weed isn’t supposed to make your best friends lips look so.. interesting.. yeah that’s the right word, interesting. Seb rips his eyes from sam, staring at the grass blade he’s picking at.
“You should bring me up here more. The stars are so much brighter than in town.”
God. This kid might actually be the death of Sebastian.
Sam lays back on the cool grass that’s now a little bit damp, but he doesn’t seem to care. He’ll be itchy later but it’s well worth the feeling he has right now. His legs feel like bubbles and he just wants to laugh. Whatever bullshit he was mad over just seems funny now. And god the stars are so damn bright. What if he could just touch them. They look like they’d feel fuzzy… he feels fuzzy.
He turns his head to the right, starting up at Sebastian who’s resting his head on his propped up knee. For some reason he wants to reach out and touch Sebastian, too. His hair looks like it feels so soft. Seb catches him starting but Sam can’t bring himself to feel embarrassed.
Sam really wishes he could put a word to what this feels like and why really really wants to be closer to him. Maybe it’s just the weed, though. Definitely just the weed.
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AITA for scaring a facebook scammer?
so theres this scam that goes around on facebook marketplace a lot where a person acts like they are gonna help people get a free government phone. there are government programs where you can apply for a free phone or phone bill but you need really personal info to apply like social security numbers (because stuff like Social Security and other welfare benefits is one of the things that can get you approved). well my last job was phone based and i was basically phone tech support half the time so I have talked to people personally who get scammed by these people and it made me mad.
So i decided to try and waste one of these scammers time on facebook. at first i was just acting like i wasnt tech savvy (giving a fake email address instead of home address when asked) but i got this idea. this person had their legal name attached to this scam post and it wasn’t hacked in any way. so i googled their full name and what city was listed on their profile. voter record websites show peoples addresses in some states and i hoped this scammer wasnt ignorant enough to attach their real fucking name to a scam listing.
Yeah so I found their address. I had no intention to post it anywhere but I thought to myself, what if I sent them their own home address when they ask me for one? so I did. and they stopped responding UNTIL i gave them a negative review on fb saying they are a scammer. suddenly they got super pushy and mean and starting asking me info about their own house. “what cars are outside, my maps arent working” and all that bullshit. so i look up their address on maps and describe the cars outside on google map satellite signal. at this point i know they’re just seeing how much I know about them (and everything was accessible with a google search so no hacking stuff here) and eventually they stop responding when i guessed wrong if they had their sibling living with them.
honestly i prolly didnt need to keep going after the first address and after i gave them a fake review but i fully just wanted to scare them away from scamming people. i’ve talked to older people personally and they legitimately deactivate everything and get a flip phone when they get scammed because of how terrified they are. i dont regret it but i wonder if it was unethical or just not productive to try and waste her time and at least give me the ability to give her a review saying shes a scammer. AITA?
What are these acronyms?
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stardustprompts · 8 months
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how to sell a haunted house - grady hendrix sentence starters change tenses/pronouns as needed !!  some lines have been edited for clarity / length / ease of roleplaying tw ; death , alcohol , language , mental health
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‘you need to sit down.’
‘what did you do?’
‘jesus, i’m sorry I’m not doing it the right way. i’m sure you’d be perfect at this.’
‘I find knowing these details makes it easier.’
‘you should have a drink, too.’
‘i’m not going to die. not for a long time.’
‘just because we shared a bathroom for fifteen years doesn’t mean you know a thing about me.’
‘my yoga instructor knows more about me than you do.’
‘I knew you’d do this. I knew you’d show up and start telling everyone what to do.’
‘look, I know you need to be in charge, but I’ve taken care of this.’
‘stop telling me how to deal with things. things are dealt with. I dealt with them.’
‘you can’t argue with someone when they’re upset.’
‘I don’t know what got into me, but I overreacted and I’m not proud of if it, and it wasn’t fair to you.’
‘you always needed everyone looking at you.’
‘I didn’t do it for attention. I did it because I was upset.’
‘I don’t like coming in here anyways. it’s got bad vibes.’
‘you can’t put a price tag on love.’
‘being here is really bad for my mental health.’
‘I know you don’t like me because i’m not successful enough for you.’
‘i’m actually happy with my life.’
‘if we aren’t related, if we met today, we wouldn’t chose to be friends.’
‘I don’t think we should be in here at all. I think my plan was better.’
‘don’t you feel the vibes?’
‘this is happening too fast. we need to slow down.’
‘your house is haunted.’
‘every single time I give you the benefit of the doubt, or I try to help, it comes back and bites me in the ass. every! single! time!’
‘our house is not haunted.’
‘i’m telling you there’s weird vibe. I can feel it in my gut.’
‘methinks thou doth protesteth too much.’
‘ghosts don’t exist.’
‘there are true things and there are false things, and there are no in-betweens.’
‘there are facts, like houses and car accidents and cremation, and there’s bullshit like ghosts and vibes and exorcisms. and if you start getting the true things mixed up with the false things, you’re fucked!’
‘reality is not a consensus!’
‘when you don’t like the way a conversation is going you deflect with personal attacks.’
‘you’re like some kind of emotionally abusive octopus entangling everyone in your word tentacles.’
‘even I know that you don’t go back in a haunted house after dark.’
‘the only things here are memories, and those can’t hurt us.’
‘you’re very threatened by new ideas.’
‘I offered to stay tonight because I thought it would be good for you. i’m hoping it gives you some closure.’
‘why are you so mad at me? is it because you feel guilty?’
‘i’m sorry you remember it that way because that must feel terrible, but that’s not what happened.’
‘stop telling me what I remember!’
‘no one ever says no to you, (name) because we’re all scared you’re going to lose your temper.’
‘oh, fuck you. nice try, (name), but fuck you.’
‘no matter what you did, I still don’t want anything bad to happen to you.’
‘everything has to be a big production and you’re the star.’
‘everything has to be a big production and you’re the star. all because you can’t face the fact that your life is sad and empty.’
‘it’s a little late for you to start being my brother now.’
‘you blew my mind. it felt like we were the only two people left in the world.’
‘no matter what, I don’t want to ditch you here with a bunch of ghosts.’
‘right now what you need, for once in your life, is to listen to me.’
‘the way you’re laughing is actually really, really scary.’
‘none of this is real.’
‘stop being scary.’
‘I don’t think I’m well. I think something is really wrong inside me.’
‘don’t you fucking laugh at me. for the first time ever, my life finally makes sense.’
‘I don’t think I know what’s real anymore.’
‘my explanation is logically consistent. yours is all magical energy.’
‘it was absolutely terrifying.’
‘how much trouble are you in?’
‘look at me. you’re not crazy. this really happened.’
‘don’t make this funny.’
everything you’ve seen tonight, i’ve seen it too.’
‘i’m sorry I wasn’t stronger.’
‘it was easier to pretend nothing happened.’
‘my entire life I’ve always known something was wrong with me. i’ve spend my entire life scared that if didn’t do everything exactly right, reality would unravel around me and I’d lose myself again.’
‘I forgive you.’
‘I hope you feel better. i’m fine.’
‘I didn’t think you had it in you.’
‘get out of here.’
‘all the things I did, I want to forget.’
‘i’m not doing it! i’m not doing it again!’
‘you need to get out of here right now.’
‘it won’t hurt me, but it’ll hurt you. you have to go right now!’
‘don’t let him do this again. don’t let him take over.’
‘I need a beer.’
‘an apology would go a long way.’
‘can you keep it down? I had to lie about what happened to a lot of people.’
‘are you seriously upset with me because I saved your life?’
‘you need to accept reality.’
‘you’ve become such a grouch.’
‘I wish you’d let someone take care of you.’
‘do you agree that there are forces greater than this world and we are helpless in the face of them?’
‘we don’t have time to fuck around.’
‘i’d like to say this the weirdest shit that’s ever happened to me but I have a bad feeling it’s about to get a lot worse.’
‘I told you this was a bad idea.’
‘I think we’re fucked.’
‘this is wrong. what you’re doing is wrong.’
‘let’s talk about something that’s actually interesting.’
‘it just hurts a little. and by ‘a little’ I mean ‘a lot’ and also ‘all the time.’’
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azuremist · 2 months
Text
Cohost sucks, too (but not for the reasons that one user said)
So, you may recall a person on tumblr saying that Cohost sucks, which accused a transfem on the cohost team of predatory behavior. That was transmisogynistic bullshit, and was blatantly untrue.
But cohost does suck. Just for reasons unrelated to that.
Listing everything loosely in an order of “weird and sort of annoying” to “holy fuck”:
Tag capitalization is determined by how the first person who used the tag capitalized it
You have to personally email support and wait for them to get back to you if you want to delete your account
They call themselves a “not for profit” or “non profit”, despite being registered as a for profit LLC
There is only one moderator for this site of 30k+ users, which means reports aren’t responded to for weeks at a time
Staff and the userbase have a very odd parasocial relationship. The staff chronically overshares, call users their ‘friends’, and have gotten mad at users for reporting too many things on weekends, after hours, or holidays (with the subtext being that you should not expect them to do anything after hours). They even publicly post about how they are worried about paying rent because of the site’s financial situation, which is frankly disgusting. Especially when you see people in the comments barely able to scrape up the $5 USD to give them for the subscription service.
A member of staff publicly bragged about how Cloudflare forgot to bill them for hosting, which is not only wildly unprofessional, but could likely get them sued. (And Cloudflare could, at any time, ask them for the money they owe, for the record.)
Staff say that they want to be transparent with financials, but are incredibly inconsistent about financial updates
The platform is losing $10k-40k USD each month
Meanwhile, staff currently pays themselves $94k USD a year, per person. Sure, that’s not as much as the average person with their job title… but Cohost is losing tens of thousands of dollars each and every month, so that doesn’t really apply.
On top of the previous two points, staff doesn’t accept volunteers, and they’ve consistently implemented features that make no difference to the financials of the company
TL;DR:
The cohost staff are tech people who wanted to do a startup, got a loan from a rich friend, and is doing nothing to make the site sustainable. Meanwhile, they’re paying themselves almost $100k USD a year while still guilt-tripping their dirt-poor, largely queer userbase.
It sucks, because I really believe Cohost could succeed. You know what, no — I know Cohost could succeed. Between the Elon Musk-ification of Twitter (who has deemed Tweeting “I hate trans people” fine, but automatically blocks people from Tweeting “I hate cis people” for hate speech), and the owner of tumblr going mask-off transphobic Zionist… Right now, maybe more than ever, there is a serious niche of ‘social media for queer fandom nerds’, just waiting to be filled! And on the surface, Cohost is perfect!
And I like everything about Cohost… except for how it’s being managed. I want to see it succeed, because it could be amazing, if the people behind it just made better decisions. But, ultimately, I do not trust the people running Cohost to help it realize its potential.
Alas, it seems this isn’t the tumblr alternative we are looking for.
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