#genuinely your feelings are valid but your criticism is not

[thetardigrape]

HEY.

Feel however you want to feel about the OFMD S2 finale but DO NOT make claims about a "straight white man" ruining the show. The writers room was mostly queer POC. Don't erase their skill, hard work, and representative voices just because you're upset. Show some respect.

#ofmd s2 #ofmd s2e8 #genuinely your feelings are valid but your criticism is not #most of the show's writers are not straight white men #and to say a straight white man ruined things completely invalidates their work on the show #do you really think they contributed nothing #that they were all just tokens #seriously stop it

[mahoushojoe]

i think the worst muslim demographic is the hijabi girls usually living in the US or canada with display names like "yasmeen 🦋" and "fatimah 🧿" who build entire platforms about how much life sucks for hijabis and how islamophobic the west is and "muslim girl power!!!" and sell overpriced abayas - all with zero self awareness about how much privilege they have over the muslims in the "motherland" that they shallowly idealize and ignore the problems of, blatantly erasing the narrative that YES the vast majority of muslim women are in fact forced to wear hijab- and in the same breath spout the most vile transphobic bigoted homophobic AND misogynistic shit i have ever heard under the guise of a painfully contrived victim complex where they genuinely believe that trans women are Out To Get Them Without Hijab And Turn Them Away From Islam. nobody gives a shit about you and your hijab, nobody likes you, yall are Not my allies, and i couldn't give two shits about you and i hope yall stay far far away from me because beyond spreading actually harmful rhetoric to young muslim women yall are genuinely the most annoying hypocritical and selfish type of person i can imagine

#yall have no concept of solidarity OR critical thinking #did you get it? the salafi husband you wanted? #two years after marrying you he's gonna divorce you without your consent or take another wife bc he fucking hates women like you #and you bought it anyway. you sold the rest of us out for this #idk how liberated you feel yall are brainwashed as hell and desperate for the worst kind of male validation there is #genuinely get help #islam #muslim girls #transphobia tw #homophobia tw #pride month has been hard lol

[morathor]

So.  Like.  Beneath all the eloquence and gravitas and cleverness lent to him by Brennan's brilliant portrayal.

Asmodeus’ tragic tale, in his own words, where he can give himself the most positive spin he wants (or where he can outright lie), is "I made a million ways for people to hurt each other and then no one liked me."

If you look at things from the perspective of like... a storyteller, or a game designer, there's a lot of sense to what he's saying.  Success rings hollow when failure is impossible, being good is less meaningful if it's the only thing you can be, I get it.  But uh.  For the people of Exandria?  The people who have to live with your decisions?  It's not a story.  It's not a game.  And you cannot be surprised, or upset, when you create misery and the miserable people don't like you.

"My gifts were not received the way I had intended" you intended them to be bad.  And they were.  You wanted to make something bad, and make people live with it, and to have them be grateful to you.  To praise and worship you, for all this bad you brought into their lives.  And that was never a realistic expectation my dude.

Now I do recognize that he did not talk exclusively about the mortals and their reaction.  That he dwelt as much or more on the other gods and how they responded.  But it's kind of the same thing.  Like, later on they were hostile towards him, but at that juncture it seems like they just... weren't on his side like he wanted and expected them to be.  It seems like the response he was looking for was comfort, for validation, for them to tell him it was unfair or, best of all, for them to tell the mean mortals they were being unfair.  To speak on his behalf and explain to all their followers, "Listen Asmodeus is a really great guy and I think his work is really underappreciated."  Which, also, not a realistic expectation.

I dunno it's a similar vibe to shitty people making hurtful jokes and then playing the martyr when people push back against them.  Just, you know, scaled up to the level of divinity.

#critical role exu #exu calamity #cr asmodeus #like i don't doubt that he feels genuinely hurt and betrayed #but like #this is kind of the distinction between 'your feelings are valid' and 'your feelings are justified'

[babylon5]

some people on here are so fucking vile to beginning writers especially younger ones and i hate it. contrary to popular opinion no one exits the womb with a perfect understanding of creative writing (actually the concept of this is highly subjective anyway but!!) or grammatical structures. it takes Time to build these things!!!! i love being a hater but when you're hating on, like, traumatized teenagers writing about icarus or whatever because they don't know how else to put what they're going through into words, that's just being an asshole i think lol

#dr pepper.txt #if u were concerned with the quality of their work youd encourage them to keep writing instead of belittling what they've made lol #very rarely do people actually have a natural ability to do something. writing is easier for some ppl and not easy for others obviously #but 99% of the time the 'cringey' icarus poem you're reading? #in a few years with proper practice and encouragement and determination you'll probably reread their new work and enjoy it #like. i feel weird because every other writer i've seen has major opinions on WHAT is ''real writing'' #what is 'good writing' what is bad writing and what genres or forms #or approaches to writing are ''valid'' #and yeah there are a lot of criticisms that need to be made of these things! because some of them #ARE harmful portrayals and methods!!! but 99% of the time when ppl talk about it #like people who are writers with relatively big social media platforms i mean not like. bloggers making genuine criticism posts btw #i want to make that clear because tumblr is weird about jumping to conclusions lmao #but like these writers.. #....they're not making any real points. they're saying ''i personally hate xyz even if it is harmless so i am going to call anyone who does #-xyz cringe and lame'' #which like - how does this help your creative process at all #this post just turned into a ramble about just writing community frustrations in general lmao sorry

[diegoshargrieves]

no one cares stop watching if you don’t like it

no one cares stop reading my crit if you don't like it

#fan behaviour much? #but in the most genuine way possible. my friend. #why does somebody making a valid criticism abt a piece of popular of media anger you so much that ur compelled to send anon hate over it? #my friend. i dont know how to tell you that its a GOOD THING to criticize your media. #im not the only one that feels this way. blindly consuming media and placing it on a pedestal is inherently harmful #and besides. if i wanted to say i didnt like the romance in the superhero time travel paradox show then so what? whats wrong with that? #its called having an opinion. and that is healthy. repeat after me anon- it is HEALTHY to have opinions. #anyways if you're still bitter then get well soon ig #asks #anon

[snekdood]

i knew ppl who were more dedicated to being counter culture than having any real morals or convictions would end up being nazis lmao

#if i say this to you will you knock it tf off and develop an actual personality?: #'omg dude you're so cool and different and you have totally unique/niche opinions on politics and also your politics are perfectly #fine and never need to be criticized and you never have to change' is that reaaaaaaaaaaaaaally the validation you need? #it might be the validation you *want* but is it reaaallly the validate you *need*? #bc idk how stroking your dick 24/7 will ever make you realize when you're fucking up but do you ig #bitches gotta be counter culture to feel unique. dawg at that point just give up lmao #if you constantly gotta be the white to someones black to *feel* different and *feel* unique then well a. you still havent found who you ar #yet and b. you're just a boring fuckin person rn dawg. you might not think it but it makes you entirely predictable. #its the same thing as becoming a satanist. you are akin to a 14 year old edgelord boy betraying christianity and you havent even grown up #yet. no wonder my abusive ex has no real personality. #mimicing ppl isnt a personality. being the exact opposite of ppl isnt a personality either. who you are is deeper than that. #unironically meditate fer fuckin' once. shut your mind entirely tf up about your external life and get to know you from inside. #if you hate yourself? cool! at least you have a better grasp on who you are now. at least who you are *for* now. you dont hafta hate #yourself forever yknow. you CAN change. but pushing away your feelings aka ignoring that you hate yourself and pretending you dont will #never get you close to actually loving yourself. genuinely THINK about why you hate yourself. feel the actual emotions of being a pos. #feel the actual emotions of regret. then cry about it. its normal and natural to do when you realized you've failed your own expectations. #and then move on and try to be better. you'll never forget what you did but it'll be a learning experience for future situations.

[youraveragemushroom]

♡

#ive discovered a new way to feel sad hip hip hooray #i also found another irony im forced to live through which yeah checks out i was due for more #i know therapy would fix a lot of this but i dont want to get better #at least not theres no point im not gonna get better even if i go through the motions #rn but also sometimes it feels like in general itll always be that way #phoebe really popped off with that bridge in funeral like #yeah bitch i am blue all the time #and it really is just how i feel most days #feels like i always have and every day come rain or shine it genuinely feels like i always will #its not fair i cant logic my way out of the internalized fatphobia #because no matter how much i know that being fat is not undesirable or ugly or like even if it actually was it doesnt indicate worth #i just circle back to annecdotal evidence and like look at it through the objective paradigm of the world we live in #which unfortunately does root a lot of desirability and self worth in appearance and like #i hate that i think this way and i hate that to me i consider it factual objective knowledge #but i hate that im living in a world where its alright if youre ‘ugly’ as long as youre not fat #because i can feel pretty and still know the objective truth that it means nothing nothing has changed and nothing will change cause any #external validation i might want wont ever come as long as i look the way i do #and the worst part is i know im aware i get that this is a distorted worldview and if i couldnt recognize my face or body as my own i would #not be as harsh w the criticism in fact ive seen ppl w parts like mine and found beauty and even desirability in them BECAUSE of those parts #i hate in myself #but im not the one who can give myself external validation so me finding fat ppl and ppl w scars and discoloration sexy means actual jack sh #and then when i wake up from the depressive cloud and enter a girlboss lite adjacent moment in which #i tell myself i dont need to ever fall in love or be loved and romance is overrated and overcommercialized anyway #well it doesnt do shit cause even if at the end of the day the only person i have to seek approval of is myself #well i fucking hate myself any redeeming quality ppl could point to is carefully exhibited and curated #for the purposes of servitude and like a function of finding value in how effective of a friend i can be #not a good friend no im talking about maximizing necessity because thats all ive put investment into in terms of growing a personality #so i cant just throw away the whole external aspect of my desire for validation cause my entire personality soul whatever has been created #with the sole intention of making ppl need me or at least filling an irreplaceable spot in their life so they cant drop me cause whos gonna #be the cool girl like me

[gougarfem]

i've never had such fake, shallow friendships as i have with white, liberal, "queer" friends. people i've supposedly been close with for years consistently left me on read when i texted them at 4am in hospital scared and alone with critically low sats because they didn't have the energy for emotional labour. you have to ask to vent, respect triggers, never ever traumadump, so real conversations are difficult because nobody wants to complain - unless, of course, it's related to identity somehow - you can say you had a bad day because your teacher is transphobic, but not because you had an argument at home or threw up or just didn't feel well - none of it comes from genuine concern but instead the rules and norms within your online community. constant reassurance, validation, knowing there's no possibility of a nuanced discussion on anything other than your approved safe topics. attempts at open communication feel sanitized and are laced with therapy-speak, not reflecting real human emotions, but "i sincerely apologize for crossing your boundaries" because it's ideologically wrong, the undertone is 'please don't make a callout on me', not 'i'm sorry', abuse and manipulation are wrong because they get you ostracised and put on blast publicly by your friendship group so any little disagreement comes with a flurry of reassurance that you aren't an abuser, and they still call you they/them behind your back, they still ask your other friends what they think of your opinion on ace discourse, have you crossed the line yet, can we cut you out yet, it's so fucking tiring and there's no space for real connection or humanity in all of it

#lav.txt #rant #vent #maybe I'm just tired and unmedicated but idk #fuck you to everyone that never supported me at my most vulnerable #but was sure to say they'd always be here

[femmefatalevibe]

Femme Fatale Guide: Tips To Become More Emotionally Intelligent

Embrace self-awareness & self-reflection: Observe how you feel, behave, and how people generally respond to your words/actions in different situations

Practice self-regulation: Learn to differentiate between your feelings and the actions that would be appropriate in a specific setting or interaction. Internalize that feelings are fleeting and non-factual. You're in control of how you respond/(don't) act on these emotions

Engage in active listening: Pay attention to what others are saying with the intent of understanding, not responding

Focus on emotional differentiation: Understand where your thoughts, feelings, intentions, and opinions end and another person's identity/perception begins

Display radical empathy and acceptance: Understand that almost all people's words and actions result from their own beliefs, past experiences, and current life circumstances/priorities. Put yourself in their shoes when attempting to understand their choices, behaviors, and times they come to you to discuss a problem, success, or major life decision. Accept that you can only control what you do. Very little of other people's actions/the world's workings are personal. Things are happening around you, not to you

Let go of your ego: View yourself as objectively as possible with the potential for improvement. Abolish any superior complex or overwhelming desire to prove your self-importance in others' lives and decisions

Remain open-minded: Question your own beliefs and opinions. Stay curious as to why you believe them to be true/authentic to you. Allow your opinions to change or have the capacity to modify your beliefs upon hearing new information. Understand your worldview and values are valid, but they're not definitively correct beliefs, just because they resonate/feel comfortable for you

Be receptive to feedback: Embrace constructive criticism as a self-improvement tool. Approach it with curiosity and optimism, not as a personal attack

Differentiate between your feelings and capabilities: Your thoughts are not facts. Remember you can do things you don't feel like doing most of the time (work, waking up in the morning, working out, etc.). Learn the difference between being a slave to your emotions and genuinely running out of energy

#emotional intelligence #emotional regulation #emotional maturity #inner work #social skills #socializing #networking #social interaction #emotional resilience #people skills #self improvement #successhabits #glow up tips #femme fatale #dark femininity #dark feminine energy #it girl #high value woman #the feminine urge #queen energy #female power #dream girl #female excellence #high value mindset #life tips #adulting #life advice #femmefatalevibe #communication skills #emotional wellness

[rendezvouz-fling]

Astro Observations #17

• Aries/Gemini placements are the types to chase after their crushes at parties or just in general they love the chasing lmao!😂

• Fire Mars love language is being mean but then complementing the other person’s talents and boast about them to others! 😭

•Earth mars at Sagittarius/Gemini degrees 🤝 whispering/saying dirty things in their partner’s ear during the act.

• 9H/Sagittarius moons either believe in a higher being or they think it’s a waste of time and it’s confusing. No in between!😽

• 7H moons tend to seek validation from their closest friends/peers.

• Taurus/2H moons are literally those relatives who will teach you about cooking or will call you down to the kitchen to watch them cook.

• Having an Aquarius moon with a Gemini rising isn’t for the emotionally weak!🤣 Tell me why somebody could be crying and I’m feeling every emotion they are. I can even nod understandingly but my face looks like this—😐. 😭🤣🤣

• Libra placements especially risings tend to have parents who often criticize other people’s outfits or weights.

• People with rising at 11 or 23 degree sometimes act like they’re on crack but I promise that’s just them in their natural habitat. 💀

• Air placements often show affection by goofing around trying to make their loved ones/friends laugh. 🍄

• Earth placements often show affection through showing others that they’re attentive and they get genuinely concerned with people. 🌻

• If someone with Fire in their big 6 says mean jokes to you or about you followed by a roaring chuckle. Then they adore you lmao.💫

• If someone with Water in their big 6 are there for you as a shoulder to cry on or opens up to you/let’s you vent to them. Then they really care about you. 🐚

• Your 7H sign might be your Venus person chart’s rising sign!

• You might attract/be attracted to people who have their big 6 corresponding to your Vesta sign placement. E.g. One of my ex’s has their Vesta in Sagittarius at 10 degree in the 5H and I’m a 10H stellium, my moon is in the 9H, my mars is at 21 degree, my Mercury is at 5 degree and my Jupiter is in the 5H.😭 Then my Vesta is in Aries at 22 degree in the 11H and their moon is in the 1H, they have a 10H Aries mars, their sun is in the 11H and they have a Capricorn descendant.💀

• Fire moons love to get touchy with people especially Aries moons. They’ll act all excited around you and hit your shoulder and all.😭🤍

#astro community #astro posts #astroblr #astro placements #astrology #astro observations #fire moon #vesta #aries placements #gemini placements #fire mars #capricorn mars #virgo mars #taurus mars #astro blog #sagittarius moon #taurus moon #aquarius moon #gemini rising #libra placements #earth placements #rendezvous-fling

[theambitiouswoman]

Are you a people pleaser? 🫣✨

Agreeing to do something even though you'd rather do something else.

Agreeing with others even when you disagree.

Always putting others' needs before your own.

Avoiding conflict or difficult conversations to keep the peace.

Suppressing your own feelings or emotions to avoid upsetting others.

Being overly accommodating and saying "yes" to every request.

Seeking constant validation or approval from others.

Not setting boundaries with others, allowing them to overstep.

Fearing rejection or criticism, so you avoid expressing your true opinions.

Pretending to be someone you're not to fit in or gain acceptance.

Overcommitting to tasks or obligations to please others.

Sacrificing your own goals or ambitions to support someone else's.

Constantly seeking reassurance that you're doing a good job.

Hiding your own needs or desires to prioritize others.

Always saying "I'm sorry" even when you haven't done anything wrong.

Going along with decisions made by others, even if it goes against your values.

Faking enthusiasm or interest in something to make someone else happy.

Avoiding sharing your accomplishments or successes to avoid jealousy or resentment.

Pretending to like something just because someone else does.

Never asking for help or support, even when you genuinely need it.

Constantly seeking external validation through likes, comments, or social media.

Changing your appearance or style to fit someone else's idea of attractiveness.

Being overly self critical to prevent others from criticizing you.

Suppressing your emotions to avoid making others uncomfortable.

Overworking or taking on excessive responsibilities to prove your worth to others.

Staying in a toxic or unfulfilling relationship because you fear hurting the other person.

Sacrificing your own financial well being to lend money or resources to others, even when it's not sustainable for you.

#self confidence #self awareness #selfimprovement #self development #self worth #self help #personal development #personal growth #self love #self care #self esteem #personal improvement #level up journey #self love journey #dream girl journey #advice #glow up tips

[avaisdramatic]

Watcher made a response to the valid criticisms that communicated a better solution going forward and an apology for their mistakes. In three days, they were able to synthesize the criticisms and find a better solution. Can we agree now that they are not, and never were, horrible, irredeemable people? Nor are they rich capitalists who don’t care about their community?

They are just people, trying to make content, and do what is best for the members of their company as well as their community.

I’m very happy for the outcome as people who cannot afford the subscription will be able to continue watching. I am happy that they acknowledged the flawed presentation of the change that left audience members feeling ignored. I am happy that the creators I support are the kinds of people who listen to criticism and make changes.

As they stated, this was a lesson for them. However, it should also be a lesson to the community that we cannot jump to conclusions and moralize every issue. Demonizing people and making assumptions before even allowing them to respond is just not how the world works. That isn’t how you have good interactions with people, especially in the context of creators. Many are so far removed from the idea that they are human beings, and not the online best friends built into your phone whenever you want entertainment.

I am extremely happy for both the watcher boys and the audience who processed their feelings in mature, respectful ways and gave honest, genuine criticism.

For everyone else who decided to berate those who they disagreed with, demonize people, build narratives that blame specific people (Steven), and all around acted childish, entitled, and hateful: fuck you, you don’t deserve their content and you’re lucky your spiteful attitude didn’t turn them away from content creation all together.

#watcher #ryan bergara #shane madej #steven lim #watcher entertainment #watcher tv #ghost files #mystery files #survival mode #puppet history

[1111jenx]

Full Moon Child☾ through the 12 signs🤍

— In celebration of the ethereal Blue Full Moon in Pisces, it's undeniable that its extremely important to acknowledge the significance of one's moon phase. Born under the Full Moon? It's as if you wear the cloak of both the sun's radiant gaze and the opposing moon's sultry embrace, weaving a tapestry of conscious will and subconscious yearnings.

Every zodiac, with its unique essence, drapes the Full Moon with a distinct allure. Imagine, a Pisces Full Moon bestowing someone with a depth of intuition, as if they're dancing on the blurred line between dreams and reality, painting their world with artistic strokes and spiritual hues. Meanwhile, the Aries Full Moon might breathe fire into the soul, igniting passion, spontaneity, and a path-blazing spirit. To recognize and immerse in the rhythm of one's Full Moon sign is like unraveling a song of strengths, challenges, and harmonies within.

With that being said, wait no further, lets dive right in💜!

🌕 Full Moon in Aries Moon: Fiery and spontaneous but always looking for that equal. Quick to act but deeply feels the need for balance. Seems aggressive, but it's nothing but passion burning from within their heart. Wants to lead, but deeply needs that one partner-in-crime by their side. Brave and unstoppable. Prefers deep, meaningful connections over surface-level relationships. Would fight for what’s right, even if it means standing alone. A warrior with a sensitive core.

🌕 Full Moon in Taurus Moon: Grounded, but with a mysterious edge. A solid rock but don't mistake them for being mundane. Love luxury, but transformation excites them even more. These people see calm yet only they feel the storm from within. They're all about roots, but sometimes they crave to fly. Protective of their own, cross them, and watch the calm turn tempestuous. Charitable and loving, but not one to forget betrayal.

🌕 Full Moon in Gemini Moon: Forever curious, with depths people often overlook. Quick wit hidden behind a facade of playful banter. Always learning, always restless. Lover of tales, yet constantly seeking truth. Smart in crowded rooms but feels everything in solitude. Can talk for hours, yet holds back the most vital stories. An open book with some pages glued together.

🌕 Full Moon in Cancer Moon: Deeply emotional but with towering ambitions. Home is where the heart is, but success calls out loudly. Nurturer, yet constantly seeking validation in professional realms. Strongly rooted in tradition, but innovation is genuinely where they shine. Trust them to hold your secrets, but be aware that they've got vaults of their own. Feels everything intensely, yet presents a composed front. A true master of their emotions.

🌕 Full Moon in Leo Moon: Born for the spotlight, yet truly values the collective. Radiates warmth, but not without moments of icy detachment when they simply just need to be by themself to just feel. People think they know them, but there's so much beneath the surface. A cheerleader for others but their own harshest critic. Life of the party or the silent observer, there’s no in-between to be honest. Embraces individuality but deeply feels the world's pulse, every tingling seconds of it.

🌕 Full Moon in Virgo Moon: Analytical, with a dash of whimsy. Details matter, but they get lost in dreams. They'll correct your mistakes but with a twinkle in their eye. Grounded but constantly touched by the ethereal. In their eyes, theres beauty hidden in every day life. They’ll say it like it is, but only because they care deeply. Organization is their game, but occasionally they let chaos reign.

🌕 Full Moon in Libra Moon: All about balance, but swings between extremes. Charmer but secretly questions every relationship's depth. Seems calm, but the scales constantly tip inside. They could be the voice of reason or the spark of chaos. Seeks harmony but won't shy away from a duel. Gracious host but fiercely protective of their space.

🌕 Full Moon in Scorpio Moon: Magnetic, with an undercurrent of intensity. Deep waters run still, but currents are tumultuous beneath. Attracts with a gaze, but holds back many secrets. Draws you in, but sets boundaries like no other. Depth intrigues them, superficiality repels. They’re the storm you never saw coming.

🌕 Full Moon in Sagittarius Moon: Wanderer with roots. They'll tell tales of far-off lands but crave the familiar. Philosophical yet grounded in reality. Yearns for adventure, but treasures moments of stillness. They're the storyteller you can't stop listening to. Fiery passion with an old soul's wisdom.

🌕 Full Moon in Capricorn: Ambitious with a touch of nostalgia. Climbs mountains but cherishes the base camp. Seeks recognition but values genuine connections more. Strong and silent, but an emotional depth many overlook. They'll lead the way, but not without their tribe. The unsung hero with a heart of gold.

🌕 Full Moon in Aquarius Moon: Innovative, with a touch of tradition. Forward-thinking but respects the old ways. Charms effortlessly, but holds the inner circle tight. Believes in the future but honors the past. They're the genius with quirks. Dreamer with feet firmly on the ground in the most fascinating way possible.

🌕 Full Moon in Pisces Moon: Dreamy with a razor-sharp intuition. Feels the world's pulse, yet dances to their own rhythm simply because, they can. Embraces emotions, yet has an uncanny logical side. They’re the artist who sees the world in vivid colors. Deeply empathetic, yet occasionally distant. They're there, but also everywhere else in between. The poet whose words touch the soul.

love,

saint jenx🪐

© 2023 Saintz Jenx All Rights Reserved

#full moon #happy full moon #astrojenx #astrology #astro notes #astrology observations #astrology notes #leo venus #libra rising #astro community #leo #astrology community #aries moon #taurus moon #gemini moon #cancer moon #pisces moon #leo moon #virgo moon #libra moon #sagittarius moon

[thorniest-rose]

Hi everyone,

A lot’s happened over the last few days and I know that I’ve been under a lot of scrutiny and the subject of conversation, so I wanted to take a moment to talk about it with you. I didn't address it last week when I was told that people in the fandom were posting about me and sharing screenshots of my blog. This was to protect my mental health, but now I want to share my own thoughts.

It's really hard not to lash out in situations like this because of how much it hurts. To go through something like this is shocking and humiliating, it rips the ground up from under your feet. But I didn't want to go on the attack because I knew how much worse that would make things. No matter how opinionated I am, conflict makes me feel sick and makes me want to hide. So instead of lashing out, I've done a lot of thinking over the past few days, not just about what's happened to me, but about things I've done and what could have led to this.

Firstly, I want to apologise to everyone whose feelings I may have hurt when I posted certain things in the past. I want any space that I cultivate to be a happy, positive one for the people who spend time here and at times I think I’ve unintentionally created an atmosphere that has felt combative or alienating. I honestly never consider myself to be a well-known writer or someone whose voice has reach in the wider fandom. No matter how many followers I have or how many people read my fics, I always see myself as a girl just spending time on her tumblr, but that's naive and I should have recognised that in a shared space, all opinions are seen and have an impact.��

Discourse is my least favourite thing about interacting in fandom and there have been times where I’ve let myself be drawn into it. That doesn’t mean it’s ever okay to look down on what other people enjoy and I really regret posting those things now because that’s not who I am as a person. Expressing displeasure and other negative feelings isn’t what I want to engage in and I should remember how easy it is for flippant, spur of the moment comments to be taken out of context. Saying things like “I don’t like this” even on my own blog is immature and beneath me and I’m genuinely sorry.  

I am also in no way any sort of authority on how these characters are written, no one is. A fandom is for everyone. I’m passionate and vocal in my own space because I treat my tumblr as a slumber party with my friends, but in my enthusiasm, there have been times where it seems like I’m saying my characterisations are the only valid ones. I don’t think that’s the case at all, and I genuinely love and admire the creativity in this fandom. I’ve said this before, but just because I have preferences doesn’t mean I want every characterisation to be the same as mine because that would become extremely dull. I believe that any and all interpretations should have an audience.

However, while I take responsibility for the things I've said on my blog, the things that have been said about me in response have been extremely spiteful and damaging. I never wanted a war with anyone. I should know better than to court discourse in such a volatile fandom, even inadvertently. To take issue with me and what I said is fine, I accept the criticism and apologise; at times my comments have been juvenile and mean-spirited. But a group of people targeting me, screenshotting my posts, calling me names and attacking what I write isn’t proportionate at all and encourages a wider pack mentality. I think we should all remember that there is an actual person behind the screen reading the things that we post and that our words can cause real harm. It’s easy to dehumanise an avatar and a username. And I think it speaks to a rot at the heart of fandoms that so many people find pleasure in fighting and where feelings can fester into hatred and vitriol.

I am outspoken and passionate about what I love. I sometimes bristle at things I see that don’t gel with my ideas or at a misjudged tone, and I post about them instead of seeing the bigger picture and moving on. It’s a flaw and something I’m working on, to be more open and less reactive. I don’t want fighting or tension, and I don’t want rivalries. I also don’t ever want to make people feel like their characterisations are wrong/invalid/unworthy or that they themselves don’t belong and that I’m some kind of fandom queen bee trying to ice them out. While that’s genuinely never been my intention, I can see how things have been taken that way and I’m sorry for that too.

Again, I’m sorry to everyone I’ve hurt or alienated with comments that I’ve made. I always want to be kind and compassionate. And while I don’t think what’s happened over the past few days is OK, I can see the bigger picture and why things I’ve said, or the atmosphere I’ve cultivated, has planted seeds of resentment. I've also unblocked the person who's been posting about me, if they want to reach out to talk privately.

I know there are people reading this who have been following me for the past four years, and in that time have seen me struggle, and fall down, and make mistakes, but hopefully grow and learn from those mistakes too. I’m so grateful to you all.

I’m going to take a break from tumblr for a week or so, to spend time away from socials, to connect with friends and other passions and focus on self-care. And to write, of course, because I’ll always be writing, whether it’s here or elsewhere.

See you all soon,

Brooke 💕

[escapismthroughfangirling]

Some of the criticism of the show is valid and some of it is just...people lacking any sort of nuance or comprehension skills.

1) "They are stupid and irresponsible for being together in the public". Yes, but also the public doesn't know ji han is a chaebol and ah jeung is a no name actress. The public also doesn't know who Dohan's financee is. Only the wedding has been announced. It's not surprising at all that the two dumbasses thought they could be together without being seen. Ji han has no reason to believe his step siblings would send a reporter after him knowing it's Dohan's position they are after. Something so obvious shouldn't be have to be spelled out by the writers for you lot.

2) "How could that bitxh Ah jeong have the audacity to have feelings that don't revolve around Dohan? She should have continued being miserable and uncomfortable because it is only Dohan's safety and comfort that matters." No woman should put herself through so much pain for another man not even for her gay best friend. If you want to watch women make decisions centered around their relationship with a man then plenty of shitty BLS and works by incels with one dimensional fl characters exist.

3) Dohan, ji ahn and ah jeong are flawed human beings. None of their mistakes deprive them of their humanity and their right to love and be loved.

4) kdrama viewers have a meltdown every time a character makes decisions that are not the most ethically, culturally or rationally correct. It's not bad writing if a character makes a terrible choice CONSISTENT with their character.

5) But the outrage is always more loud for a FEMALE character every single fucking time. Like clockwork. Not only are you guys consistently boring with the demand for characters to stay conventional but also consistently MISOGYNISTIC.

6) Both ji han and ah jeong fought their feelings for each other before finally giving in. It wasn't immediate. They both are clearly guilty. Both of them wanted to talk to Dohan about this. He was the first person they wanted to talk to. He was on their minds on the date too.They only went out together as a couple to a STRANGE PLACE for ONE DAY where they thought they would be safe. Why are people acting like they have been hiding their relationship for ages? They didn't even get the chance to be public yet. NO, THEM ROAMING IN A STRANGE PLACE DOESN'T COUNT AS PUBLIC BECUASE NO ONE AROUND THEM KNOWS.

7) MEDIA SHOULD NEVER CATER TO YOUR MORALES OR FEELINGS. This world consists of average people who make horrible choices and who hurt themselves and others. I like watching them on screen. Hope more kdramas are courageous enough to experiment with genuine character flaws that aren't just being 'quirky' or a 'tsundere'.

8) None of the characters one this show are 'morally dubious or gray'. They just are people with flaws. Idk maybe read a book or two or watch peaky blinders.

#wedding impossible

[anistarrose]

So I have only my two cents to give on the "curing disabilities in fantasy/sci-fi stories" trope, as just one disabled person among many disabled people, but here are my two cents nonetheless.

One defense of the trope is that it's simply a form of escapism, and moreover, a fantasy that disabled people themselves can quite reasonably find joy in — as a feel-good story, a break from all the pain of real life. Many — not all by a long shot, but many — of us would jump at the chance for a cure, after all, and it's not like we're not valid to do so. Lots of us take pride in being disabled, but nevertheless, sometimes it really fucking sucks.

The counterargument to the above is this: that this isn't a realistic trope, and that particularly in combination with the suffocating frequency that this trope is used, this becomes the opposite of a hopeful fantasy. When you have an incurable condition, and the only happy endings you see represented for people like you in fiction are inevitably only achieved once the characters stop being like you — that can be indescribably upsetting.

Disabled characters do not get happy endings while remaining disabled — and fiction is fiction and all, but I'm not going to pretend like this doesn't have gradual, accumulative real-life effects on the amount of effort people/society are willing to put into accessibility and acceptance, because of beliefs like "aren't you going to be cured someday anyway?" Or "isn't this disability just going to stop existing, someday? one way or another?"

I hope I don't have to explain how damaging it is to think the above way, or to imagine a future where disability doesn't exist. (Yes, even though disability is partially socially constructed. That's a load-bearing "partially".)

So, if you couldn't tell, I do generally relate a lot more to the harsher, more critical view of this trope — but I certainly don't want to judge actual disabled people for writing it either (and especially not people with progressive conditions), not when there is genuine catharsis and escapist joy that can be wrung from it. I obviously don't trust non-disabled folks with writing "cure" stories any further than I could throw them, due to a long fucking history of non-disabled people fucking it up — but also, no one should be forced to reveal personal details, let alone medical history, to justify their choice to write something.

This is the paradox that I am willing to come to terms with, by throwing up my hands and saying, "okay, so some of the time I sure don't like it, but it's technically none of my business."

That said: if you're non-disabled, or you're writing about a disability much different from your own (a physical disability when you're autistic, for example), and you want to write an escapist feel-good story featuring disabled characters: I also want to stress that "escapist themes" versus "no one's disability gets cured ever" is very much a false binary. You can have both.

I've never written a "curing a disability" story. But I've both written and enjoyed some extremely escapist, unashamedly hopeful stories revolving around disabled characters — and it's all about accommodation.

A story of any genre where society is more accepting of — and willing to collectively help care for — chronic illnesses and chronic pain? That's escapist, and if it's something that characters once fought tooth and nail for, it's pretty damn cathartic. A fantasy or sci-fi story where medicines are still required to treat a condition, but the medicines are more accessible, more effective, et cetera, may also be escapist depending on the context.

Fantasy service animals, high-tech service robots, magical or indistinguishable-from-magic mobility devices? They're all possibly escapist too. (Just note that a lot of disabled people may still maintain a personal preference for seeing the "real world" versions, and that's that's also perfectly reasonable. Remember that the gripe with the original trope has a lot to do with a lack of variety in representation, justified by arbitrary rules about how fantasy/sci-fi "should" look, and the goal should be not to replicate that.)

So, in conclusion: if you find yourself writing a disabled character, and want to give them a happy ending, I urge you not to jump to "their disability is cured now" without at least thinking through the alternatives. Do your research regardless, and accept that disabled people will likely have a wide range of opinions on whatever you decide to go with — but accept that disabilities themselves are varied, and should not inherently have to consign either characters or real human beings to tragic lives by their mere existence.

#disability #ableism #long post #honestly i could tag toh here but i won't #(especially because the ableism in that fandom has calmed down since the peak in s2a - at least as far as i've observed)