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vanwritesfan-fiction · 5 months

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If You Let Me, Part Three

Warnings: language, verbal arguments, references to cheating, angst, brief mention of parental death

A/N: The final part of this mini series. Thanks so much for the love on my work for Joe, makes me excited for future fics!

To say that you and your mother never saw eye to eye would be an understatement. She was a bulldozer in a deceptively small and unassuming package, standing just over five feet tall, but make no mistake, she would blow right through anything to get what she wanted. Growing up, you hated her for it. She always thought she knew best, making you wear skirts because she thought it made you look more feminine, when you just wanted to wear jeans, signing you up for ballet classes when you wanted to play soccer.

It was no secret that Chris was her favorite child, she coddled him, in her eyes he could do no wrong, and for the most part it didn't bother you because you were your father's twin. You were two peas in a pod, a mutual love for reading and old westerns, and after he passed, it was as if she resented you, a constant reminder of the person she'd lost. For the rest of your teen years, there wasn't a time where the two of you didn't butt heads about something. You went to college and it was much of the same, but the distance made it easier, an into adulthood, she would still try to give her two cents, but for the most part, you could ignore her.

Even through all of the fighting and disagreements, you never thought she would do something like this. Inviting Brandon to the wedding, three years after the two of you had broken up, was not only a violation of your privacy, but proof that she had never changed at all.

Everyone in the house could hear you and your mom arguing in the library behind closed doors.

"Why the hell did you invite Brandon, mom?" You weren't sure if you wanted to scream or cry, and honestly neither sounded like they would provide you with any relief.

"Watch your language, Y/N", she crossed her arms over her chest, "and I stay in touch with his mother. She told me how regretful Brandon was about how things ended between you and how his life had turned for the worst. I thought maybe you could rekindle your love for each other. There was a time you were crazy about him."

"What is it with you and keeping in touch with the mothers of guys I've been with?" You took in a sharp breath as she narrowed her eyes at you. Your mom was very quick witted, she never missed anything. Its where Chris got his nosiness from. "Were you and Joe together?"

You avoided eye contact, beginning to pace the room. "Please don't change the subject. You crossed a line. I don't want to get back with Brandon."

"Oh, you don't know what you want." She waived you off. "You bounce between careers, cities, men. At least Brandon has a career, he comes from a good family. You need stability." You had never told your mother why your relationship had ended. You were scared of admitting to her that you had failed at yet another thing in your life. You wanted to scream it at her, make her feel bad for barging into your life and leaving a mess, but at this point, you weren't sure if it would make a difference. "I want out of the wedding. I'm leaving." You left the room before she could even get a word out and headed upstairs to pack your stuff.

In the kitchen, Chris and Joe had Brandon cornered. Your brother was really resisting the urge to break your ex's face with his fist, and each second that passed he was losing the fight. "Look Chris, I get it, I'm not your favorite person, but I think if I could talk to your sister and explain-", Brandon tried pushing past them but it was like hitting a brick wall. Chris was about Brandon's height but well built, and Joe towered over both of them.

"You're lucky I'm getting married tomorrow." Chris flexed his hand open and close. "Can't have a busted fist in my wedding photos." Brandon swallowed, knowing that Chris wasn't bluffing. Joe was silent, closely examining Brandon. He had no idea what you saw in him, but he already hated the guy for breaking your heart.

"I really just need to talk to Y/N", the guys begin to scuffle in the kitchen until your mom entered, clapping your hands. "Brandon! Lets get you set up in one of the free bedrooms. Y/N just needs some time to get herself together." Chris backed off to let Brandon pass and Joe took the opportunity while everyone was moving to go find you.

****

“Can I come in?” You turned to see Joe standing in the doorway of your room, softly knocking on the door. You let out a shaky breath, resisting the urge to cry in front of him. “Sure.” He sat at the foot of your bed, and when he tried to look at you, you purposely kept your head down, throwing your things haphazardly into your suitcase. “Where are you going?”, he asked, grabbing one of your sweaters out of your bag and bundling it in his fists.

“Home. My mom crossed a line inviting Brandon here, and I cant stay.” You were choking back sobs at this point, your face heating up from embarrassment. “Are you really not gonna go to your brother’s wedding?”

“I’ll be there, just sitting in the back like I originally planned.” You tried to grab your sweater back from him, but he was quick with his hands, pulling you down into his lap. “And what about us? Are you really going to leave again?” You felt his large hands around your waist pulling you closer. He didn’t want you to leave, and he’d hold you tighter if he had to. “Joe…”.

You were hesitant, but not for the reasons Joe thought. Brandon showing up was just another reminder of how messed up your life was, and you didn’t want to bring Joe into the fray. He deserved better than someone who couldn’t get their shit together. You pushed yourself off of your lap and got back to packing. "I'm sorry, I can't don't this right now. Can we talk about this some other time?"

"Last time you said that, we didn't talk for three years." He let out a curt laugh, but you could tell he wasn't joking. Silence hung heavy in the air between you two. You might have made up, but that didn't make what you did, hurt Joe any less. "Why are you still here?", you blurted out. "What?" Joe's brows furrowed with confusion. You let out strained breath before continuing. "I mean, why haven't you left like everyone else?" You quickly wiped away a stray tear from your cheek.

Joe balled up his fist tightly. Up until this point, he'd tried to be as understanding as possible to everything you had going on, but every time he reached out, you increased the distance between the two of you. "Why do you keep pushing me away?" You felt a lump build in your throat. Your silence was all of the confirmation Joe needed to continue. "I have done nothing but show you how much you mean to me, and you keep pushing, and pushing." The frustration in his voice was evident.

You didn't know what to say. He was right, you kept pushing him away, and there was only so much one person could take. "I'm-I'm scared that you're gonna leave."

"I'm not Brandon. I'm not gonna hurt you like he did." Joe scratched at the back of his neck.

You wanted to believe him, you really did. It would have made everything a lot easier, but history had taught you otherwise. "You don't know that. I don't know that. We can make all the promises in the world, but at the end of the day, we don't know what's gonna happen." The words were spilling out, and finally Joe knew the truth. It was ugly, but it was finally the truth.

"That night we kissed, it was one of the best nights of my life." Joe let out a sigh as his gaze dropped to the floor. "You have a twisted idea of best", you countered, sitting down next to him. Joe nodded in agreement. "I know. I never stopped thinking about you though, and I kept thinking that one day you'd come around. I know you were hurting that night. Its why I let you go, even though I didn't want to." He grabbed your hand, interlacing your fingers.

"But you can't keep blaming yourself for what other people have done. Carrying that weight is going to crush you." You let out a shaky breath as you listened to him speak. "I am not your father and I am not Brandon, and you can't punish me before I've even gotten the chance to love you." You could barely look at Joe as he rose his head. He gave your hand a gentle squeeze before getting up and leaving the room.

Once you were alone, you allowed yourself to fall apart.

****

You woke up an hour later, laid atop your pile of clothes, makeup stains on your pillow case. You must have fallen asleep from the exhaustion of crying. The house was quiet; the bridesmaids were already at the venue getting ready. Now was your chance to sneak out of the house before anyone else could see you. You gathered your bags and quietly headed downstairs. You almost made it to your car, until you came into contact with Brandon, who was sitting outside on the front step.

You didn't stop, pushing right past him as he stood up. "Wait, Y/N, we need to talk." Just the sound of his voice made your blood boil. "We have nothing to talk about." You loaded your bags into your trunk, slamming the door shut harder than you intended. "Listen, if you just let me explain."

"No!" Every step you took toward Brandon forced him back, making him stumble over his own feet. "Do you know what you've done to me? I can't trust any man, even ones who have done nothing but show me how much they care about me. So the only explaining I want from you is how you plan to get as fucking far away from me as possible."

Brandon threw up his hands in surrender. "Its been three years. Can't you get over it?" You let out a humorless laugh. You weren't sure what you were expecting, but at this point, an apology would have been too little, too late anyway. "Get out of my way." He had conveniently blocked your way to the drivers side of your car. "No, just listen-", he grabbed at your arm, pulling you into his body.

"We got a problem out here?" Your head snapped to the front door. Chris stood in the threshold, still in his pajamas, a cup of coffee in his hand. "No." You answered your brother as you glared at Brandon.

"You're gonna regret this." Brandon's tone was threatening, but you weren't the least bit scared. He paced up the walkway and brushed past Chris as he went back into the house. You gave Chris a thankful head nod and climbed into your car.

"You okay? I know I'm supposed to be in the house of the lord today, but I'll lay him out if you ask. God forgives." Chris rested his coffee on the roof of the car before leaning into the window. He gave you a wink, making you smile. "No, I'm fine. I just need to get out of here." Your knuckles turned white as you gripped the steering wheel.

"Will I see you at the wedding? I need my only sister there." He was tugging at your heart strings, and in the moment, you hated him for it. "Yes, I wouldn't miss it for the world." You gave him pleading eyes to let you drive away. "Okay, love you." Chris grabbed his cup and watched you drive away.

****

Joe paced the halls of the church. The ceremony was set to start in a couple of minutes, and he was hoping he'd catch you before it began. He tried calling you, but your phone was off, every try going straight to voicemail. He pulled at his bow tie, trying to take in a deep breath. He just needed to talk to you, apologize for what he said this morning. The hurt he'd been harboring for the last couple of years crept up when you rejected him again, but he realized now it had nothing to do with him, and he'd keep loving you until you were ready, however long that took. He wiped the sweat from his brow as he pulled open the bathroom door.

"Hey, its Mr. Football." Joe groaned as he spotted Brandon posted up against the far wall, his wobble evidence that he'd been drinking. "You know, I didn't recognize you at first", even taking one step was too much, and he had to grab onto the sink to steady himself, "but you were always at all of the parties." At first, Joe ignored Brandon completely, keeping an eye on him through the mirror as he washed his hands, dabbing a wet paper towel across his face.

"I was unhappy, you know." Brandon hung his head, still clinging to the porcelain. "That's why I cheated. I always felt second to her, she made me feel small." Joe couldn't help but laugh. "Whatever you need to tell yourself, man." He rolled his shoulders back.

"Its true. You know her, nothing is ever good enough for, Y/N. No matter what I did, she always wanted more." Brandon spit the words out like venom. "That bitch." Before he could even slow blink, Joe had grabbed him by the collar, easily shoving him against the wall. He got close enough to Brandon's face that he could smell the cheap liquor on his breath. "You're a sad excuse for a human being. You're lucky she even gave you a chance."

"What, do you want her? Good luck, she's a piece of work." Brandon slurred his words as he laughed.

****

You rushed to get to the hall, your heels clicking on the tile as you ran so you wouldn't be late to the ceremony. You were stopped in your tracks by a crashing sound as Brandon stumbled backward out of the bathroom, landing on his back, Joe moving to stand over him. He didn't even notice you as he tried to grab at Brandon again. "Joe, what are you doing?" Even at a whisper your voice echoed off the stone walls. His head turned toward you, his face softening. Even a drunk could tell there was something between you. "Are you two together?" Brandon stumbled to his feet. "Oh, this is rich! You get on me for cheating, but you've been with this guy?" He had no control over his volume.

"Its none of your business who I've been with, Brandon." You bit back, holding Joe back, who was still fuming.

"This is who you want, instead of me?" Brandon pushed at Joe's chest, barely moving him. Joe had height and size on him, but he was too inebriated to realize it. Joe's next shove sent Brandon into the wall, glass votives shattering on the ground.

"What the hell is going on?" Chris' voice echoed down the hall as he stopped just behind you. The sound had gotten everyone's attention, your brother and his other groomsmen running towards the commotion. "Did he touch you again?" Chris looked you over quickly. "He put his hands on you?" Joe gritted out, closing the distance between him and Brandon, who cowered away. "Joe don't!", you warned, and Joe listened, even though his instincts were telling him not too.

"What is everyone doing? We need to be in the hall for the ceremony. Chris, your bride is waiting." You held your breath at your mother's voice. "Brandon why are you on the ground?" Your mom asked as she took in the scene.

"What the fuck is wrong with this family? Everyone is crazy." Brandon lazily brushed off his suit jacket. "No wonder you are the way you are, Y/N." Chris had had enough. You flinched as you heard the sound of your brother's fist colliding with Brandon's face, and one punch was enough to knock him out. "Ow, fuck! I forgot how much that hurts." Chris shook out his hand, which was already starting to bruise at the knuckles.

"Chris!" You mother's shrill voice sent a shiver down your spine. Things were quickly getting out of hand. "I'm sorry mom, but I'd been waiting to do that all day." Chris sucked in his teeth as you took a look at his hand. "You think you can cheat on my sister and then insult my family and I won't deck you? You got another thing coming."

You didn't look at your mother, even though you could feel her gaze burning into the side of your face. "Y/N, is that true?"

"C'mon, lets get some ice on your hand." Joe guided Chris, his hand touching your lower back as he walked past you.

"What? Since when?" You were hit with questions as soon as you and your mom were left alone. You groaned, sitting down on a nearby bench. "I found out the week before Christmas break." You could tell she wasn't satisfied by your answer. "Three years ago. Listen mom, I'm not really in the mood to hear a lecture right now." You stood up, adjusting your dress, one from the back of your closet.

"Sit." Your back tensed, but you did as she said.

"I-I'm so sorry. I had no idea." She pulled you into a hug, which startled you. You allowed yourself to relax for the first time around her in a long time, tightening your hold around her shoulders. "I was so hard on you about the breakup, and a lot of things, and I shouldn't have been." She collected the tears underneath your eyes as she pulled back. "It's okay, mom."

"Its not. You were just doing your best, and I couldn't see that. Can you forgive me?" You grabbed her hand. "Of course mom, I love you."

"Are you and Joe okay?" Your averted eye contact made her laugh. "I know about you two. Chris told me." You had to remember to kill your brother later on after he was married. "I'm not sure", you finally admitted. "Well then, go find him and talk until you are sure. He's one of the good ones. Don't let him get away." You gave your mom another hug before you left to find Joe.

****

"Is Chris gonna be okay?" You approached Joe, who had found an isolated spot just outside of the hall. He smiled when he spotted you, the corners of his eyes creasing. "He'll live. Tiffany is pissed, but he's high on some pain meds right now. Should make for a helluva wedding."

"Listen-", the two of you chuckled as you spoke at the same time. "Can I go first?" Joe asked, bending his head down to look you in the eyes. You nodded, allowing him to continue. "I'm sorry, I never should have pushed you. You've been through a lot, and I was only thinking about how hurt I was, and that's not fair to you. I just want you to know, that I'm willing to wait until you're ready. No matter how long it takes. You're worth waiting for."

You felt butterflies in your stomach as Joe pulled you into his chest, his hands falling to your lower back. You rested your palms on his chest, feeling it rise and fall with each breath. "I'm sorry too. You were right; I was pushing you away. I didn't think I deserved someone like you. You're perfect. You're kind, you're way more understanding than I've ever deserved, and I'm sorry it took me so long to realize that." You took a deep breath as you looked at Joe, taking in his face. His hands snaked around to the back of the head, pulling you into a gentle kiss.

You chased his mouth as he pulled back slightly. "You're perfect, baby", he whispered, "and fuck anyone who made you forget that." You closed the gap, crashing lips again into a much more passionate, deep kiss. Joe chuckled against your mouth. "Can you let me get the words out please? I've been practicing." You smiled, grabbing at his hand. "Yes, sorry."

"You were wrong this morning. You said that we couldn't make promises to each other, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. I can promise, that I'll never hurt you as long as I live, if you let me." He stroked your cheek with his thumb as you leaned into his touch.

"I promise to let you." It felt like the easiest promise you'd made in your entire life. It just felt right, being there with Joe, and all you had to do was just let him love you. You felt every inch of your body tingle, desperate to feel his lips on yours again. "Are you done?", you asked in jest. "Yeah, yeah, I'm done." Joe smiled into the kiss, pulling you impossibly close.

Tag-List:

@wonderlandiswhereitsatyo

@bernelflo

@wickedfun9

@brrbrina

@zobellagio

@tallrock35

#joe burrow #joe burrow fanfiction #joeburrow #joey burrow #joey b #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow imagine #nfl imagine #nfl fanfic #nfl fanfiction

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atinyjules · 1 year

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HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER - MARK

Wassupp! So...I'm in the dreamies phase again😭 soo like...the Seonghwa angel request will take a while since I'm stuck in a writer's block for that one (╥﹏╥)

Anyways here's dad!mark~

pairings : dad!mark x Female oc (as his wife but doesn't appear in the story)

Genre: Dad au, fluff, established relationship.

Warnings: Barely any.

Characters : Mark and Geonu (6)

"Appa! Appa! Appa!" an overly excited Geonu pulled on his father's shirt while jumping like a bunny.

"I can hear you if you didn't already know. You're supposed to be asleep...what's wrong?" he asked his son who kept jumping causing a chuckle to leave his mouth.

"I can't sleep without a storyy!" he said making his father groan.

"Geonu, I'm busy...can't you sleep without a story?" Mark said making a large fit of whines to leave the little boy's lips.

"Nooo, eomma always tells me one before I go to bed!" he said causing his father to freeze at the mention of his wife.

He let out a sigh as he remembered the way you barged out of the house with tears on your face after a really bad fight. None of that was supposed to happen but it did and now you were in your sister's house and he knew you weren't returning anytime soon. Geonu had no clue as to what happened due to still being at school that time. Telling him you would be out of town for while-

"Please...eomma always tells me one." softening at the sight of his son's glossy big eyes that resembled yours.

"Alright...go wait for me in the bed, I'll be there in a sec." Mark said as Geonu excitedly waddled to his bedroom causing Mark to let out a chuckle.

"You ready?" Mark asked Geonu, sitting beside him on his bed.

"Yes!" Geonu exclaimed and laid his head on Mark's chest.

"Since I don't have any stories to tell you...I'll tell you how I met eomma." he said as Geonu nodded.

"I originally first met your eomma at a summer camp during middle school but it was at high school that I got to actually know her and let me tell you...she was gorgeous, the most beautiful person I ever laid eyes on...she still is, her beauty wasn't the only thing that intrigued me." Mark said as Geonu looked at Mark in confusion.

"It wasn't?" he asked as Mark shook his head and ran his fingers through Geonu's hair.

"Nope...you might not know this but your eomma has a black belt in karate, the undefeated champion of Korea for 5 years...she would always use her strength to defend the weak and punish the bullies." Mark said as he smiled, memories hitting him like a fresh breeze.

"That seems like a very eomma thing to do! I can't wait to tell Dasom and Dawon!" Geonu said referring to Jisung's twins who were coincidently their playmates and friends at school.

"Don't brag too much or else you'll regret it." Mark said with a chuckle.

"Eh? Appaa! Continue!" Geonu asked as Mark smiled.

"Alright, alright....so yeah...I got to know your eomma at high school since we had around four classes together. At first I found her a bit scary since she was so strong but as time went on I realised that the both of us had a lot of similarities.

Like our same love for watermelons and music. I also found out that she followed me on soundcloud which came as a shock to me since I only had like 8 followers so I was touched...so touched. And in no time we became besties. Hanging out on the weekends and helping out at her family dojo be came my favorite pass time especially since I get bored really easily." Mark said earning a nod of agreement from Geonu.

"I agree, appa your interest level is only 20 percent that's what me and eomma think." he said as Mark let out a laugh.

"Is that so huh?" Mark asked causing Geonu to nod.

"Appa, when did you ask eomma out?" Geonu asked as Mark chuckled at the memory.

"I asked her out right after she threw a punch to my stomach." Mark said with a sigh, still remembering your face after he confessed.

"Why did she punch you?" Geonu asked.

"Because I indirectly told her she was too intimidating and boyish without realising, so she got angry." he said making Geonu giggle.

"So you told her you loved her?" Mark nodded at that.

"Yep...she slapped me right after I confessed." Mark said rubbing his cheek and smiling sweetly.

"Appa...you love eomma don't you?" Geonu asked his dad who chuckled at the response.

"Of course I do! Why do you ask?"

"If you really love her then tell her you're sorry..." Geonu said making Mark widen his eyes.

"You always give off a guilty/sad vibe whenever you upset eomma and also...uncle Haechan told me." Geonu replied causing Mark to make a mental note to kick Haechan's ass tomorrow morning.

"I'm sorry...I know eomma is probably really really sad with me but I promise you that I'll apologize to her...even if it means to get a punch from her." Mark said earning him a hug from Geonu.

"I know..." Geonu said with a yawn as Mark lulled him to sleep and sat down on the floor beside the bed of your empty shared bedroom. He took out his phone and sent you a voice message.

"Hey...it's me..."

#nct fluff #nct #nct dream #nct mark #nct dream dad au #nct dad au #nct dream fluff #nct dream fic #nct dream au #nct dream masterlist #nct dream oneshots #nct dream imagines #nct dream reactions

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blooming-violets · 1 year

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43: giving them a piggy-back ride

[from this prompt list] [feel free to request a prompt from the list]

[tasm!peter parker x reader]

The Piggy-Back

"Are we there yet?" Peter dragged his feet behind you as you trekked ahead. "Can't I just swing us there? It would be so much faster."

You stopped walking and turned around with a huff, "Peter Benjamin Parker, you are worse than a child!" You stuck your finger out at him in an accusatory manner. "We have to walk six blocks. That is not far. We do not need to swing everywhere. And, besides, it messes up my hair and I get wind burn. I'm sick of swinging. I would like to show up to this event not looking like I crawled out of a wind tunnel."

The two of you were attempting to walk the few blocks to your friend's house party. It was colder than you anticipated outside and, you had to admit, that swinging there would be faster. Still, you didn't want to risk the hard work you put into doing your hair. No amount of hairspray could hold it in place after a swing through the city.

"But it's cold," he pouted at you. His bottom lip stuck out to resemble a toddler about to throw a tantrum and his eyes widened into pleading, round saucers.

The look made you burst into laughter, "You're pathetic. Aren't you supposed to be a tough crime fighting superhero?"

Peter shook his head, keeping up the pout, "Not when I don't have a suit on. Now I'm just a normal person who's cold and sick of walking." He shuffled up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, hiding his face into the collar of your jacket. "Carry me the rest of the way."

You gave him another laugh, "You should be the one carrying me." You untangled yourself from his grasp and bent your knees. "Hop on, Spidey. I'll piggyback you. It's only two more blocks."

His amused giggle filled you with joy, "I'll squish you."

"Give it a try! I'm stronger than you think."

Peter didn't question you further and he carefully hopped up onto your back with a kind of grace that only Spider-Man could manage. The second his weight hit you, you took a few running steps forward to keep your balance, before quickly finding your footing again. He wasn't as heavy as you thought he'd be but it was still a struggle to stay up right.

You gave a grunt and attempted to stumble onward to your destination, "Alright. I got this."

His laughter filled your ear and tickled your cheek as he nuzzled his head next to yours, "I'm impressed you didn't immediately fall flat on your face. I should travel like this more often."

You responded with another grunt, struggling to get any words out as you concentrated on not dropping him. The two of you made it approximately one full block before your legs gave out. Peter jumped off and wrapped a protective arm around your waist right before your knees could hit the concrete.

"Careful," he warned with a smile. He steadied you back on your feet and planted a kiss to the top of your head. "I told you I would squish you. Come here, it's my turn now."

He bent down nice and low for you to scramble onto his back instead. You clambered on top of him, a lot less graceful than he had been getting onto yours, and wrapped your legs around his waist. He hoisted you up higher with ease and started a steady jog down the street.

"Now you're just showing off," you rolled your eyes but smiled as you tighten your grip around his neck.

"I'm making up for the lost time. It took you a solid five minutes to walk one block. Slowest horse I've ever ridden."

You gently slapped his chest in protest, saying sarcastically, "You ride a lot of horses, Peter? And, relationship tip, never refer to your partner as a horse."

He chuckled, "Yeah, the second it came out of my mouth, I regretted my choice of words." He slowed his jog as he approached the party. "Oh god, I can hear the music already. Terrible choice. Awful music. Let's go back home instead."

You couldn't hear what he could but you tried to protest, "No, we came all this way. Your antisocial behavior and disagreement on music choice is not an excuse to miss out on our friend's party."

You felt him tighten his grip around your legs and could see the glint of a mischievous smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

"Who's riding who?" He asked.

"What are you talking ab-"

Before you could finish the question, he spun around and started a swift walk back in the direction you came.

"Peter!" You gasped.

"This horse says that it's time to go home. You have to be better at controlling your animals if you want them to listen to you!" He quickened his step. "Hold on tight."

He didn't have to tell you twice for you to know what was about to happen. You tightened your arms around his neck and braced yourself for the inevitable jerk as he shot the two of you up into the air. Taking the time to get dressed up, just to skip out on your friend's party right as you arrived, wasn't the sort of disappointment you would have felt a few years ago. Instead, you were relieved as the wind tossed back your hair and you clung to your boyfriend's back. Even hurdling 50 feet above the ground, you felt safe tucked against him. If Peter didn't feel comfortable being somewhere, he would simply just not go. It was a quality you had learned to admire about him even if it often led to moments like this.

"Promise me that the music was actually insufferable and that we would have had a terrible time," you shouted over the wind whistling in your ear.

He nodded, calling back, "They were playing Cotton Eyed Joe, babe. I promise you, this is for our own sanity. I'm saving you from a night of pain."

"Ew," you grumbled. "Fine but at least swing us to the nice Mexican restaurant instead. We look cute. Let's not waste it. Might as well make use of our night."

"One sexy, hot date night, coming right up!"

#tasm #tasm peter #tasm peter parker #tasm x reader #peter parker #peter parker x reader #tasm peter parker x reader #tasm peter x reader #andrew garfield #tasm andrew garfield #peter parker tasm #touching prompts #the piggyback #the piggyback fic #blooming violets #blooming violets fic #blooming-violets

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shurisbathwater · 1 year

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::𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄

PART 1

"--𝐈 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐀 𝐁𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄"

Riri Williams x black fem ! Reader

𝐖 𝐀 𝐑 𝐍 𝐈 𝐍 𝐆 :: smoking weed , slight smut , cussing , friends w benefits 😛(fav trope)

A/n:: imagine y/n in the bohemian aesthetic 🤞🏾🤞🏾 idk she just gives me that vibe

Favourite by nicki minaj & jerimih

"--𝐈 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐆𝐎, baby." Your girlfriend, shuri said as you sat on her lap, pouting at her. Shuri had been your girlfriend for about a month now, she certainly had the looks ... from her two toned plump lips to her dark skin and curly hair. She was exactly your type, but sometimes you felt like she wasn't being exactly truthful.

Alot of the time, actually.

"Okoye called me over." She chuckled lightly at your face. "You said we'd chill at home today. You always go out." You rolled your eyes as you got up from her lap. Though you knew it wasn't her "okoye".

"cmon love, don't be like that." She got up to caress your cheek. You looked up at her as she did it. She was quite tall. You were only 5"7. "Ill be home by ten." She pecked your cheek and walked out of the room, heading to the door.

Yeah, she was 100% lying to your face.

You heard a slam coming from the main door, of course. You sighed as you sat on the bed, alone once again. Fuck, you needed a smoke. With your favourite person, Riri Williams.

You : you tryna roll up or what?

Riri : you already know the answer babe

You grinned to yourself , but quickly stopped. You had a girlfriend. But the most attractive thing about Riri was that she always had your back, and the fact that she was so persistent with you.

You had led her on a couple of times, which you had regretted. Bit by bit it would eat you alive. Yet you still felt an itch of irritation when she talked to other girls.

I dont wanna hype ya

But you a lucky nigga

If my mean ass like ya

You grab your keys and walk to Riris, she lived a few floors down , all it took was a simple elevator.

You close the door behind you and dust off your outfit, a skirt and tube top you made yourself.

The Elevator opened within seconds and now you were on Riri's floor.

You took a couple of steps to Riri's apartment and knock on the door. She opens within seconds and you take a minute to admire...her in general.

She had just got her Knottless braids done , edges laid and a simple white tank top with some sweats. "Hey bae" you say as you come in to hug her. You always called eachother pet names, though Shuri didn't really like it.

Her hand traced your hips, all the way down to your...

Nevermind.

"Let me get a blunt." You giggled as you clapped your hands jokingly.

'Cause if its you I would change for

You always make sure ...

I just wanna be your favourite.

You headed to her room to roll up, of course. And thats what you did--before you knew it you were couped up on one of her balcony chairs, her sitting beside you.

You looked at Instagram and clicked on Shuris story, that wasn't Okoye's house. At all. You saw another girl, faceless due to her back facing the screen.

"Oh." You said as your voice cracked. "Pass the blunt. Quick I need it."

"Couldve been a bit more discreet." You muttered. "Whats up?" She asked. To turn the phone to her and she raises her brows. "I was right about her ass." She scoffed as she took a hit of the blunt.

"You never liked her, Riri."

" And I hope she knows it. Ion like seeing anyone with you."

You chuckled lightly as you turned off your phone, she always knew how to make you feel better. Riri passed the blunt to you and you held it in your hand for a minute. "She's a liar. I told you"

"Forreal, fuck out my face, you know what I mean?" You said as you exhaled, letting the smoke from the blunt leave your mouth. You passed it back to Riri, your eyes starting to feel heavy.

"I feel you." She replies,taking the blunt in her hands and getting a hit. "Mhm." You hummed as you adjusted yourself in the chair. "I cant believe i let her fuck on me." You mumbled as you look at the time on your phone.

"who wouldn't fuck you though?"

"You would?"

"Yeah."

"You tryna test that theory?"

"I think your already high, let's put this out..." you say as she takes another puff. This time the smoke blows straight into your mouth.

"Completely sober."

You both lean in and kiss, her tounge swirling in your mouth. She starts off at a steady pace and leans in a bit more and kisses harder. You gasp throughout the kiss.

I just wanna be your favourite.

Your heart beat quickened as you realised this is all you've been dreaming about ... this exact moment. She goes down to your neck and you wince at her touch, knowing she's going to take out all of her internalised feelings on you.

"Am I your favourite y/n?" She asked as she slipped her hand up your thigh, your knee length skirt getting in the way. You didnt reply, you knee what you were doing. You were doing something so bad, but it felt so good.

"Say it."

"Yes." You said breathlessly.

#riri x black!reader #riri williams #riri x reader #x fem reader #shuri black panther #riri imagine #riri smut #shuri x riri #bpwf #black panther imagine #iron heart

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youlikefanficdontyousquidward · 10 months

Text

Little less than super, soldier

Basically an oc x zemo fic but I'm going to write it in y/n style because that's what I'm comfortable with ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also I am still working on Avatar and Spiderman fics just taking a self indulgent break because the FOCUStm is on Zemo rn.

Your characters background is clear as the story progresses but if you'd prefer to know it going in this is a post on it! And this is a short fic of that info too ✌

This is a part one... I got so excited and wrote a few more ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Summary: Sam gets back up from an old friend, meanwhile y/n is struggling to deal with Zemo.

warnings: for now canon typical violence, tho later chapters will contain mild body horror. Warnings will specify.

Nicht - Don't

Tut mir leid - I'm sorry

Soldat - Soldier

(My german is very basic so feel free to correct me!)

Sam hadn't seen you in years, not since he watched you walk away from him, Bucky and Steve. He couldn't argue with their decision, it was for the best. You were a wreck and despite his best hopes he knew you were right. If anyone knew you were alive they'd use you again.

Still he wasn't too surprised when you turned up at his house. He'd only been back from dust a few days earlier but he'd heard from others that you'd been there. Stepping up to help when people around the globe needed you. He hadn't realized the broken person he'd met screaming in a cell had so much heart.

Still you were a ball of nerves, being overly polite and stumbling over your questions. It was a far cry from the swearing, snapping venom you'd spit when the Avengers had you and it put him a little on edge. You just wanted to know if he was okay, if they all were and that you'd be leaving again. He'd given your shoulder a squeeze, despite the flinch, and wished you the best. You'd settled quickly under his had and that was the first time he saw you really smile.

He found the number a few hours later. A tiny scrap you'd somehow tucked into his own jean pocket. A small note, "Just in case." He felt oddly proud of who you'd become and kept it into his wallet.

That day passed into fond memory but every so often a little note and number would turn up. A small reminder you were out there and willing to help again. A few times he thought to call but he didn't. No point worrying you or pulling you back for nothing.

Only this wasn't nothing now. He and Bucky were stumped and with the threat of super-soldiers and he knew you'd want to know. Though the idea of dragging you back it was horrible. He felt the weight of his decision bearing down on his shoulders. Sam slumped further into his chair as he eyed the message. Then with a last deep breath in, his thumb tapped the glass.

Sent. Delivered. Read. Ellipsis.

Then nothing. He waited, head in hands, regretting it immediately. It wasn't like you wouldn't be a huge help but dragging you back like this? It just didn't feel right. Even if you came what could you know anyway? Hydra weren't exactly open with you about things whilst in there clutches. Hell you might end up coming to draw gun fire and that thought twisted his gut. Sam watched the screen until his eyes burnt, then let his head hit the desk.

The buzz startled him some time later. He flung out his seat, scrambling to the message. Bucky, whatever he had been up to after visiting Zemo he was ready to meet. Sam's shoulders sagged as he read the text. He wasn't disappointed, not really. He knew he was asking too much by contacting you. The risk to your freedom was eminence. There was no telling who was still out there looking for you, other than SWORD anyway.

Still Sam couldn't help but feel down as he got his things ready. God only knows what Bucky had done and meeting him across town in some garage didn't bode well.

Maybe you'd settled down somewhere, maybe you were happy. He hoped so, that you'd chosen yourself. Sam fortified himself, squaring his shoulders as he headed to the door. No point stalling, he needed to find out what Bucky had been up to.

He swung the door out quickly but found his feet rooted in place. There you were, frozen with a hand in the air ready to knock. A mess of hair, in sweatpants and an old thread bare t-shirt, looking rather stunned. He stared a moment, watching your mouth bob open and shut, over night bag slipping down your shoulder.

"Y/n!" Sam couldn't help the grin that spread across his face. To his relief your posture relaxed and you returned his smile. "Come on, Bucky might have something, we'll meet him across town."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You knew you should try to stop bouncing your leg but every time you lost focus it jumped to life. You didn't want Sam to see you worried like this. He'd always been so kind to you and you didn't doubt he'd let you leave if you asked. You couldn't however, no matter how much it felt like jaws were gonna snap down on you.

He'd been so nice in the car over, being careful to avoid touching you, asking after your life, avoiding making you speak any specifics. You appreciated that, although your run down, rented flat and part time jobs were hardly worth the effort. Hell you'd struggled enough making nice with coworkers, maybe a fresh start would be nice after this.

You'd wanted to call Sam. You'd wanted to check in with him and his family. For a time you even considered contacting Wanda but you never liked someone else in your mind with you. No you'd resigned yourself to the loneliness. Maybe you should get a pet.

"Is it Bucky?" Sam offered, eyes glancing to you before returning to scanning the room. "You know after Wakanda he's..."

"Yes I know." You interrupted, stilling yourself again. You'd actually gone to see him shortly after checking in with Sam. A guilty part of you had felt relieved when he'd disappeared. Though after the five year absence you felt you had to see him too.

He'd been starting therapy at the time, was working, he was doing well all things considered. Still you'd felt the need to check, to be sure the Soldat was gone. You'd left then satisfied that the man you'd known wasn't behind those kind sad eyes and that this Bucky that stood in his skin was not a threat. Still an incredibly able soldier just not of the winter variety. Anyway it wasn't him you were worried about.

When Sam had fully explained the situation you'd blanched. These flag-smashers had access to the serum. Not the same one you'd had pumped into you but a better one. One that left them with the strength and power of Captain America, not just side effects.

Still no matter what it cost, you couldn't leave knowing the serum was out there somewhere. So you'd focus on that, let it anger you, burn away any doubt and drive you forward.

You heard him before you saw him. Loud deliberate steps, Sam must have let him know you'd be there. Unless they were so as not to startle Sam. Regardless there was little more than a tight smiles shared before Bucky led you both further in to the garage.

You wouldn't say you were on comfortable terms with him yet. He was still guilt ridden about the Soldat's memories with you and you were still a little unnerved with a new man wearing the same face. It was nice to see him so happy though. Even in this circumstance his mood seemed far different than you'd ever seen him. Here's to therapy you supposed.

Bucky's plan seemed rather extreme. Break Zemo out and have him help. You had to admit it seemed rather extreme. The ex Colonel was part of an elite intelligence op and had a history of hating Avengers. Though he also hated super soldiers more so that might keep him on their side. Enemy of my enemy and all that.

Except you'd be among the enemy in that case. It wasn't outside the realms of possibility that Zemo didn't know about you. After all his search through the leaked files where rather singular in their aims. Your particular information had been lost or redacted so heavily that without specific knowledge on you it would be hard to link the two.

You continued to follow behind Sam, keeping your eyes on the shadows, watching your back. Some stress was elevated when Bucky flipped the lights on, continuing his back and forth with Sam after shooting a soft look at you. Nothing got past his notice.

If they kept this bickering up you'd be there all day. You slunk over to a car under the lights, perching on the open bonnet. You couldn't help the fondness in your smile as you watched their amusing relationship. Giggling to yourself as Sam rolled his eyes with his whole body, raising his brows to you.

"Look, let me just walk you through a hypothetical. Can I just walk you through a hypothetical." Bucky started.

"What did you do?" Sam questioned, his brow furrowing as he turned back to face him.

You felt tense again, arms uncrossing from your chest. You weren't quiet sure what was going on now. Clearly Sam had caught on to something you'd missed. Bucky launched into a far too detailed plan and you felt a shiver run down your spine. Every hair stood on end as the dawning realization hit.

"You didn't..." You almost whispered as Sam interrupted again. Then the door was opening and your ears were ringing. Your heart pounded in your throat as Sam charged forward in front of you. You were still stunned, now behind them both as Zemo entered the garage, dressed in a guards uniform.

He caught eyes with you for a moment, taking his hat off before returning to Sam and Bucky's argument. His eyes seemed to drift back to you before he interjected again.

You found yourself standing under his scrutinizing gaze, drifting closer to Sam, inching him further between you and Zemo. You barely followed what was being said, waiting for him to pull a gun or stop staring. Either was preferable in this moment.

"Okay." Sam spoke, defeat in his tone. You clenched your jaw. You didn't like this. If the guy wasn't gonna attack he was going to manipulate his way to his release, you were sure.

Still he seemed cooperative, leading you all back to a larger room filled with old cars. They were expensive things but you didn't let your eyes wander from him. Choosing to break the middle of the pack, you kept yourself between Sam and him. Despite his words and values you wanted to remain vigilant. If you could do nothing else you'd shield Sam.

Other than a few snide comments he seemed true to his word. He drove the group of you to an airport in mostly silence. Peaking back at you and Sam through the mirror.

"So all this time you've been rich?" Sam said incredulous at the sight of the privet jet on the tarmac. You'd calmed down a little, walking by him and Bucky's side as you followed.

"I'm a Baron Sam, my family was royalty until your friends destroyed my country." Zemo spat back. You couldn't help but snort at his comment. You regretted drawing his attention again when he stared back at you. You looked away until his attention left, drawn else where.

Bucky and Sam eyed you a moment and the indignation flared in you again. "What? They dropped that city on me." you hissed quietly. You weren't sure you wanted Zemo to hear that. Sam looked stunned blinking at you before he was turned back to the plane. You fell back in step behind the group as you approached.

You suppose you never did tell him about that. Just letting it stew with your general hatred towards your then captors back then. It'd been a huge loss to you. A life built there crashing down on top of you, leaving you broken and pinned for days. You shook the memories away trying to forget the carnage.

Zemo greeted an old butler looking guy at the steps. To your delight he was wearing the little white gloves and everything. Sam awkwardly nodded and you gave the man a genuine smile as you passed. He was just like the caricature on TV. He looked to be 100 and considering his familiarity with Zemo he could've known him all his life.

It soon set you on edge to be at his mercy 1000 feet in the air. With a knowing look he could fly you all anywhere and you'd be none the wiser. Certainly wouldn't make a change from most flights you'd been on, at least your hands would be free.

Zemo smiled at you as you boarded, gesturing to the seat opposite his own. You ducked your head, shifting quickly to the back behind Sam. If the staring was bad in the garage you sure as hell didn't wanna experience it in direct line of sight.

You didn't catch his name but Zemo spoke to the butler in Sokovian for a moment, implying he'd give out of date food to Sam and Bucky. Angered you huffed, Zemo turning at the sound. You caught his eye, keeping a glare set on his smug expression.

"Nicht." You bit out through gritted teeth. Your Sokovian was rusty but you saw the slightest change in Zemo's expression, before it settle back into a cat like grin.

"Tut mir leid." He nodded, turning back to face forwards again. Sam's head peaked at you from round his seat but you just slumped back into your own. Staring out the window and gripping the arm rests as the plane took flight.

Not long into cruising altitude Zemo angered Bucky. You hadn't been paying them much attention by this point. You'd found yourself relaxing and had become dazzled my the ice on the window and fluffy clouds below. You were startled back by the sudden movement of Bucky. Jumping up and catching Bucky's eye as he took his hand off Zemo's neck and slumped back into his seat, his book back in his hands.

Cursing under your breath you moved to the seat in front of Zemo now. You resigned yourself to a task to keep you awake, stop them from killing one another.

Zemo spoke an apology, but it seemed more probing than you liked. To your relief Sam seemed to turn the conversation back to lighter topics. You slid further into your seat a moment before Zemo began pushing again. You glare into him, not missing the way he glanced at you when he said "innocents die."

A small pang of fear hit you but you bit back a response. He'd clearly caught the hint of resentment you felt towards what happened in Sokovia. Still you kept your gaze level as you bit your cheek and allowed Zemo to continue.

Madripoor, you'd only ever been there in passing. The lawless nature allowed you to obtain some fake documents for relatively cheap. It was too risky to stick around though, too many dangers, too much risk of outing yourself.

Worse still Bucky was gonna have to put on an old mask.

Soldat

#my fics #helmut zemo #the falcon and the winter soldier #kinda wanna write a sam x reader too now #zemo x reader #zemo x oc #little less than super soldier

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luimagines · 1 year

Note

Four's spouse being absolutely terrifying when mad is very accurate. Not much really pisses them off except when it involves their loved ones are hurt, food waste and their current catch being chased away like the Gohma scaring off the boar. Otherwise Reader is mostly nonchalant.

Four does ask his lover to throw him on a few occasions, mainly when adventuring as the married couple are quite the tag team. Both fight completely in sync even when the Colors are thrown into the mix. So Wind and Wild asking for Reader to throw them wouldn't be much of a problem if they have a destination in mind.

Warriors: You're seriously going to oblige them?!

Reader: If they know where they want to go and have a way to land. My husband does this whenever we explore a dungeon together.

Wind: *takes out the Korok Leaf* Toss me as high as you can and I'll land on the roof!

Reader: *tosses the teen 60 ft into the air*

Twilight: WHAT THE????!

Wild: That is AWESOME!

(Wind does land safely and got scolded by Twilight. Wild also gets tossed too while Sky contemplates on asking.)

Reader's strength is the most insane thing about them. Combat chefs don't fight with their bare hands as its a chef's most important tool. You can't cook without them. They are a close range fighter so Reader uses their legs to fight.

One technique that Four's love tends to use is called Sky Walk. This skill allows Reader to literally walk on AIR and can only be taught by a master. Our heroes find this out when Wild spots something odd on his Sheikah Slate.

Wild: WHAT THE FUCK?! FOUR, HOW IS YOUR SPOUSE WALKING ON AIR?!!

Hyrule: I'm sorry what?

Time: *uses the Lens of Truth and sees Reader is actually walking to the house on nothing* Smithy, did you marry a god???

Four: Reader isn't a god. They're just using Sky Walk, a super secret technique. Like this! *begins walking on air*

Warriors: DEAR HYLIA!

Four hasn't really mastered the technique as it takes a few years so he can only walk at least 30 ft before he has to touch the ground. The looks on his comrades' faces are hilarious though. Smithy literally hid such a technique that would make any pitfall traps worthless.

Now Dink is most likely the type to use the heroes' loved ones to his advantage. When the Chain are traveling through Warrior's Hyrule Fields they did not expect a Dodongo to come crashing down with a footprint deep in its chest. All of them knew only one person could do this and rush to where it came from.

Surrounded by Taluses, Dodongos, Darknuts and Hinoxes was an absolutely livid Reader. One of the Links were quick to spot the abnormal nervous Darknut in the group, Dink who's currently regretting his decision. Especially when Reader's lower half of their legs ignite a fiery orange coat. They flames didn't seem to harm them but clearly burn the ground.

A sign that has Four split and push his comrades away a good distance from the fight cause he knew what is about to happen.

Green: The shadow really done it now!

Legend: What's going on?!

Vio: Diable Jambe, one of our lover's more destructive techniques. Trust us when we say you don't want to get hit by that!

Reader: My food is burning because of you bastards! Only fair that I return the favor! Diable Jambe- Party Table Kick Course!

Everyone watches as the chef lets loose scorching hot kicks with a handstand while spinning. The heat alone melted the Stone Talus and scorch the nearby ground. When Reader was done, all that remain was ash and a large patch of burnt ground. Dink definitely fled albeit badly burned but learn a huge lesson.

DON'T PISS OFF READER.

Oh my goodness... no kidding.

Reader is a force to be reckoned with.

....They just round house kick the hoard of enemies with hell fire....

AND THE FOOD WAS BURTN D:<

Dark Link better not come back! How dare he!!!!!!

#pinky replies #Four's spouse #Four's lover #anon stories #....I don't remember the first half of this.... ^.^*#my apologies anon

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mcflymemes · 1 year

Text

PROMPTS FROM NIKITA * assorted dialogue from the television series

why? why me?

i know how to live with the pain. i just haven't figured out what to do with the regret.

nothing says love like a bullet to a non-vital area.

a lot has happened since then, but i know that this is how it's supposed to end.

you should have left hong kong.

they're hard to come by.

we started this fight together, just you and me.

you're being played.

it's time to finish what we started.

now it's too late.

i love you. but if that's not enough of a reason for you to leave, then i've got no reason to stay.

it's going to take some time.

being on a mission doesn't make the pain go away.

you should have taken it.

give me the damn glock!

i owe some guys some money, and now they're punching me.

the more you try to get out, the more you will realize there's always another room.

now i can't tell you what to do, but i'm not gonna stand by and watch this place destroy another person i love.

this is the operations room.

you're going to have to watch them die.

why haven't you paid them?

everything is a conspiracy with you, isn't it?

do you want to go check it out?

you were right not to trust him with your diamonds.

are you serious?

hey, i've got a message for you.

you can't just arrest me like this.

i was trying to save your country.

it was a good offer.

i've got this little app on my phone called find my deadbeat boyfriend.

i work for whoever happens to be sitting in your chair.

you're the only fake in this room.

i'm going to make certain i'm not the last.

you're not just doing this because of the assassination.

that was ten years ago.

i'm going to ask you one more time. who are you?

that's just a taste of what's coming.

do me a favor and turn up the music on your way out.

you tried to kill me.

you were right. loved ones are a liability.

the last word they breathe before the end will be my name.

did you ever have feelings for them?

i'm not the mole, genius.

let them go or i'll call the police.

you treated me like a terrorist.

if you call me baby again, i'll break something else.

something's coming, and you think i know about it.

sometimes vulnerability can be our greatest weapon.

you work for us. remember that.

do you even know what i've been doing in mumbai?

i want you to know i can get to you and hit you where it hurts the most.

everyone has their price.

when we came here, i thought it was finally over.

my father was gunned down in front of me.

it's not an arrest.

it's a good thing i have more than one.

you were obsessed with trying to identify the black ops group that killed your parents.

you know, it won't work forever.

i'm so sorry.

i already told you i'm not gonna share, unless you do.

you were right.

who am i gonna tell?

i've killed dangerous men and i've watched people i love die in my arms.

i know it's asking a lot, but i need you.

that's why you want revenge.

i can't let that be for nothing.

that usually happens.

who are you?

people in love don't just kill each other.

you aren't going to save me.

you want to know what i am? i'm a survivor.

you in uzbekistan for business or pleasure?

possibly? i think i'd remember that.

anything that happens after this, you can blame on me.

now do you know why you're here?

you can quit or you can die, but you can't stop it.

i'm getting a feeling right now.

it was last night.

i highly suggest you do not remain silent.

i really believed that the truth was going to set us free.

now i'm trapped in an even bigger lie.

you really have to get your house in order.

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armpirate · 10 months

Text

The Only One || JJK || Ch. 15

Pairings: mafia!jk x fem!reader

Genre: smut, angst, mafia, contract relationship

Warnings: Prostitution, torture, blood, use of drugs and weapons

Summary: You've always wished for a better life. Every single day at work, you were hoping something would change. Although you didn't think that change would come in the form of one mysterious man and a contract.

His controlling and selfish behaviour only wanted to keep you away from any other man that wasn't him, and you only had to wait for him.

Too bad you really thought you'd be smarter than Jeon Jungkook.

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

Jungkook was trying to understand why she was there, peeking over Jihu's shoulder while he explained the reason they were there. He only had to do one thing, and it was looking over Y/n so she wouldn't pull another trick to mess with them all. But it seemed like it was useless, because she managed to go outside.

—I'm sorry, sir. You wanted her to eat, but she insisted she wouldn't eat anything unless she saw you —Jihu started his explanation.

Jungkook's eyes moved from the man in front of him, to the pair of curious eyes that were staring at him. He scoffed, finally standing up to make his way -slow and heavy- to the two people that bursted into his office when they weren't supposed to.

—So that's what happened? —the change from Korean to English got Y/n's attention, finally being able to understand what the conversation was about.

But he wasn't asking that question to Jihu, he was asking the question to the same woman who wanted to be challenging enough to force others to do what she wanted, and that was hiding like a lost puppy behind the person she forced there.

—Yes —Jihu answered.

—I'm not speaking to you —the sudden raise of his voice made everyone in the room jump, startled—. I thought I was clear with not letting her step outside.

—She was with me all the time —he tried to justify himself.

—I don't give a fuck —he stood in front of the man—. My order was simple, or wasn't it? —deathly eyes stared into Jihu's black ones— Yet you gave in to what her greedy ass wanted.

At first, it all started as inoffensive and soft slaps on his face as he spoke, but it suddenly changed to a rougher one, that made his face turn by the impact and Y/n jump for the loud and unexpected sound.

—It was my fault —she finally stepped in between them, changing the language back to English—. He said you wanted me to eat, and I told him I wouldn't until I saw you —she admitted, locking her eyes with his.

Jungkook broke eye contact, just to momentarily spare a glance at Jihu, motioning him to leave the room, along with the other three man standing in front of the double door. His eyes went back to her, finding out her expression hadn't changed a tiny bit.

—You really think you can do whatever the fuck you want?

—Says the person who bought another one —she scoffed under her breath—. You want me here just to sit in your house, and wait for you?

—That's exactly what I told you yesterday —he tilted his head, giving her a cocky smile.

—I'm not a fucking dog —she spitted the words on his face, taking a step ahead to get closer to him—. If you want something that will shake its tail when you get home, get a fucking poodle and leave me alone.

—Doll, seems like you still don't understand what this is about —he towered over her—. I'm paying you good money just to stay still in one fucking place. It's the easiest of the jobs. I could've finished with you a long time ago —he grabbed her chin with two of his fingers—. Be grateful with what you got instead, and start listening to what I say, because you're starting to get on my nerves.

Thinking she'd finally shut up and agree with him, he let go of her chin and got ready to get back to his chair. But two words hit him like a lit match falling over a pool of gasoline.

—Or what?

The macabre smile that formed in his face made her regret those two words, knowing too well that whatever that was to come wouldn't be of her liking.

—Sit there —he pointed with his head to one of the big chairs, placed on one of the sides of his office.

To his surprise, she did as she was told, stepping back from him cautiously as she walked to the place he told her. As she sat there, she took a look at the huge office he had. She wouldn't be surprised if her house in Mallorca fitted in this place itself. She also wondered how any of those men dared to have their meetings, and talk about their things, in such a public place. Not that it was all up on everyone's faces, but judging by the tall buildings she was able to spot over the window, they were in the middle of the city.

Then she remembered how Amira explained to her that Pedro had several companies, so he'd be able to justify the amount of money he earned. It kind of made sense.

Although she was there, he acted as if she weren't. At some point, Y/n felt as if she were part of the furniture that made the decoration of the place. It was annoying her how he wouldn't acknowledge her presence, not even to bark at her for showing off at his office without telling him. She didn't know how hard Jungkook was fighting himself not to drop a look at her legs, perfectly embraced by those tight jeans. Or the way her lips kept curving as time went by. She clearly only wanted to be there to drive him crazy, and it was crazy.

But that was a game both of them could play.

As Yejun stepped inside his office, Y/n was aware of the plastic bag he was carrying to Jungkook's desk, before he bowed and disappeared behind the door. When her eyes went back to him, his hand was lifted, and his finger swang in the air, signaling her to walk where he was. Although she was dubious of getting near him, the smell of cooked food made her get up almost instantly.

He served everything on his desk, ignoring the frown on her face when she didn't know what any of the dishes were. Although most of them had a dangerous red, and she was already suffering for her tongue and throat.

Jungkook didn't need to say anything, it was enough with him moving the chair that was behind him closer to the desk to let her know he wanted her to sit there. But would be stubborn until the day she died -which, if she kept with that act, wasn't too far. She tried to get the same chair, and move it further from him. But before she was able to drag it through the floor, she felt a cold metal close around her right wrist.

—What the fuck?

But if she thought he was going to give her an explanation, she was wrong. Jungkook closed the other extreme of the handcuffs around his left wrist. Y/n battled, complained, dragged his wrist against the metal every time, yet she didn't know it was a lost battle with him.

Annoyed, he pulled from the handcuff, almost making her lose her balance when he wanted her to stop and get closer to him.

—Didn't you say you wanted me to be around you? Here you have —he simply said through his teeth— Now sit, and eat.

When she dropped those two last words, challenging him, she thought he'd just sit back and let her do his thing, what she didn't know is that she served him an idea on silver platter. She wouldn't ever stop pushing his buttons, so it was his time to push hers. When he asked for her food, he also asked Yejun to get a pair of handcuffs anywhere he'd be able to get them. And, efficiently, he got them.

—Do you know how to use chopsticks? —he asked, as if he hadn't just tied himself to her.

—No.

Jungkook clicked his tongue, separating the wooden disposable chopsticks so he could use them to feed her. But before he was able to get the rice cake near her lips, Y/n moved faster to reach one piece of chicken with her left hand and eat it instead. He smirked at that, being completely aware of how she'll be regretting eating it that way.

At first, the tasty flavor of the chicken -and finally being able to give in to her stomach's demands-, made her drop a loud and unconscious "Hmm", that she'd regret after she chewed on it a few times. At some point, the happiness from finally being fed turned into a funny feeling on her tongue that slowly evolved into an unbearable pain.

He smirked, aware of how she was trying to hold it all in as her eyes desperately looked for something that could ease the pain.

—You want this? —he lifted the water bottle.

She nodded her head fast, trying to reach it with her free hand, but Jungkook moved it away from her.

—Now you will accept things from me?

She was too focused on the burning pain on her tongue and lips to care about what he said in the slightest, she just wanted the damned water bottle.

—Please —she whispered, after trying too many times to reach it.

Instead of getting the water bottle, Jungkook moved his left hand to the back of his head, forcing her body closer to his, and leaving their faces centimeters away from each other.

—Good girl.

The way his black eyes pierced into hers and the warmth of his lips coating her mouth made her forget about the burning pain for a few seconds. And the praise with that honey coated voice... It was almost as if she didn't need to drink water anymore.

When he finally handed her the water bottle, Y/n to hold back herself from not spitting all the water in his mouth straight into his face, eyes never leaving his as she filled her mouth with the liquid a few times.

—The chicken is mine —he explained—. This —he handed her the tteokbokki and the bibimbap that he purposely asked to be less spicy for her— is yours.

To his surprise, she accepted as he was giving her. For the first time, she allowed him to take care of her as he mixed the rice with the vegetables and meat, and gave her one plastic spoon so she'd be able to eat properly -thing that she did, surprisingly, with her left hand, instead of using the right one.

After eating, and feeling that her stomach was going to explode, she barely had any time to recompose, before two knocks on the door led to the office being filled with men. Glances and confused eyes fell on her constantly, as they stepped in and were aware of her presence next to their boss.

Nobody ever had been allowed in that position, not even Yejun after all those years working with him. But there she was, a foreigner and complete stranger codling with the boss of the Korean mafia as if she had known him forever.

Two long hours passed, where Jungkook did the thing he usually did: making sure no big changes were happening, plans on how to handle their different territories in Korea -and worldwide- and, most importantly, how to finish with the Choi family, so he'd have one headache less. While Y/n, sitting next to him, tried to distract herself with the non-existing details in the office, as she kept hearing them talking in Korean -which sounded like nothing for her.

And then she thought about the deal Sanhyuk proposed to her... How would she be able to leak information when she didn't understand a word they said? Maybe that was the sign she needed to learn a new language, after all...

All her thoughts were interrupted by a sudden move on her right.

After being informed that another snitch was caught, Jungkook couldn't wait to handle it by himself. It was one of the several things he actually dealt with personally. If there was something he hated the most, it was traitors he trusted and embraced, especially after what happened to his father. Ever since that day, he made sure he'd always deal with them, while making them go through the worst punishments he could come up to.

She got no explanation when they started moving and left the building, it didn't matter how many times she asked. Even if she had known, the fact that was tied up to him only reminded her that she'd go with him either way.

Looking at all the men, Y/n tried to understand what was going on. Although everything was crystal clear when she saw a man on his knees in the middle of the dark room, after they passed the alley and crossed the back door.

She couldn't understand words, but she was frightened by the actions when, after exchanging a few sentences with Jungkook, the man began screaming in agony. He kept clicking on the button that sent powerful electric shocks through the necklace he was wearing, and that was wrapped tight around his neck. Anger got over him, to the point that she forgot that Y/n was next to him, while he kept trying to get information out of the man whose chin was covered in spit due to the pain he was putting him through.

Not only was he leaking information, but he was also trying to sabotage each one of the operations they kept trying to do.

Jungkook would've gone harder on him if he hadn't been finally aware of Y/n's presence next to him. Her fingers slightly caressed the reverse of his hand, as she kept trying to look away, moving her body uncomfortably while she tried to mute the screams. And he couldn't help but see himself years back, when he was in that exact same position, having the same reaction she had as he was forced to see everything.

The screams suddenly stopped, now only hearing soft whimpers and begs for mercy.

—Take care of this —he demanded of Yejun.

On their way home, he thought deeply if it was a good idea to explain the reason behind what she witnessed. It wasn't her business, but the fact that she was completely silent, and even avoided looking at him, made him think it'd be a good idea.

—I told you. If you betray me, you need to pay the consequences —he spoke softly—. If you want to be around me, this is what you'll see mostly. It's better that you just stay home with Jihu.

Without looking at him, she nodded. Back there, he seemed angry and furious. She wasn't sure whether he was enjoying it or not, but the fact that he was able to ignore the agony in that man's voice was enough. Also... how could he act as if he hadn't just tortured someone?

Y/n seemed to finally realize who she was playing with, and how close she kept pushing herself to be in the same situation as the other man.

Still tied up to him, she kept following his steps towards the big house. The silence around them was deafening, and it only made him wonder if it was because of what she saw.

—Are you hungry?

—No —she whispered.

—Are you okay?

She showed herself confused at his question. When her eyes traveled from their hands to his face, she saw the concern in his face. It was genuine.

—Yes —she nodded—. Now... Can you let go of this? —she pointed to their hands with her eyes— I learned my lesson, and I also need to go to the bathroom. So... please.

—You have an appointment at the doctor's tomorrow —he casually mentioned, as he unlocked her handcuff—. Jihu will go with you.

—What makes you think I'll fuck with you after what I saw earlier? —she raised her eyebrow at him— Save Jihu's energy to something more important, because that medical appointment will be fucking useless

Jungkook took a step to her, calm and serious, breathing deeply after she contradicted his plans. It was like she was never ever going to learn.

—I don't give a fuck how useless it'd be —he whispered—.You will go anyway. Remember your body belongs to me now, and I'm the one who will choose what to do with it.

Y/n gulped thick at those last words, feeling dizzy and hot over them, while her stomach started feeling funny. Her whole body was reacting in a way it wasn't meant to, as if it were determined to contradict everything that was coming out of her mouth.

She didn't say anything else. She simply walked away from him, heading to her room -where she'd spend the rest of the day -something that he took as a victory as he laid on the couch. It was a tough day for her, just to be topped with a medical appointment the next day, making her realize that not even in Korea she'd be able to get rid of everything she had been trying to forget for years.

Taglist: @kaiparkerwifes @sheylamc @amy2006jones

#fanfic #ff #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkookxreader #jk #bts #wattpad #kookie #smut #jungkook smut #tattoistjk #mafia!au #The Only One #armpirate

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melloween-candie · 10 months

Text

High regrets [C.G]

Drugged Up Carl Gallagher x Drugged Up Fem Reader

Requested // Request Rules

"hi!! i love your fics!! carl x reader getting high, carl telling reader he loves her, reader isn't sure if she loves him back?? we need more angst in this world"

A/n - When I first read this plot I was like- This is really cute!!! Lol I love it. Thank you for requesting this! 💕

Also, just letting y'all know- I used First person point of view in this. If you guys didn't read my other fics- I normally write in second person point of view. I wanted to do more first person fics.

Anyways hope y'all like it!!!

Submitted by Anon

Warning! Weed, underage smoking, mentions of thief, mommy issues, like one cuss word

Word count: 1,417

Shameless Masterlist

Fandom Masterlists

/"Talking"//Thinking//Muttering-Whispering/

***Y/n's Pov***

Carl and I were once again Skipping Class. We would do this every time one of us had a bad day or when we just got bored. This time we were bored.

"Hurry up slowpoke!" I was practically leaving him in the dust as we skated toward our usual spot.

There was a huge tree under an abandoned bridge. There was a small old little swing there. I'm pretty sure people forgot about this place. But this was our spot. Carl and I found it at the beginning of freshmen year. It wasn't far from our school, so it was perfect.

We would come here so often to the point where we made a little tree house. Of course, Carl did all the building, but I did all the decorating. It was perfect! It had a small cooler for our drinks and a few boxes that acted like cabinets for our snacks.

Of course, it had a lot of holes and other flaws, but the pillows and blankets made it comfortable to step and sit in.

"Come on, Carl! Get up here!" I yelled in excitement.

"Okay, okay!" He said as he climbed up. "What was it that you wanted to show me?"

"This!" You pulled out a weed pack. "This is the last pack of weed in my house. My mother is going to flip when she finds out it's gone- I hate her, so LET'S HIT IT!!!"

"Umm, sure? Okay, why not." Carl said as he grabbed the packet and pulled one out. He placed it in his mouth and asked- "Did you bring a lighter?"

I don't know why I found that attractive, but I did. Which honestly just made my feelings for him more confusing. I mean, normally, I would only see him as a friend, but... I don't know. Maybe the stress is just getting to me.

I ignored the thought as I grabbed the packet out of his hands, taking one out for myself.

"Y/n?"

"Huh?" I looked at him. "What?" I asked as I placed the joint in between my lips. I didn't even realize I zoned out.

"Never mind. I have one right here." He said as he pulled out a lighter from his pocket.

"Do you always carry a light?" I asked.

"Ha, I carry more than just a light." He said, smirkingly. I just rolled my eyes as he lit my joint.

I inhaled the smoke into my lungs and started coughing as Carl puffed out perfect circles like it was nothing.

Carl then took the joint in-between his fingers and asked - "Look, Y/n, why do you want to do this so badly? I mean, you were never the type to do this stuff, to begin with?"

I took the joint out of my mouth. I looked at him dead in the eyes and said - "Shut up. Let's just enjoy this moment, okay?" I felt kind of bad for sassing him, but I didn't want him to know. So, I just placed the joint back into my mouth, inhaling its substances once more.

Time skip!~

***Narrator's Pov***

The packet was now empty. Y/n and Carl were on their last joint. Of course, Carl did most of the smoking, whereas y/n only did two. Obviously, she quickly got stoned. Carl didn't want her to get too stoned, though, so he made sure she didn't do too much. After all, this was her first time. Whether she liked it or not.

Carl was still somewhat sane; however, his face was completely flushed while Y/n was in a state of awe. They were both laying down on the floor of their tree house.

Carl was looking at Y/n as she was staring at the ceiling. Her eyes were slightly red, and her mouth was somewhat opened. Clearly, she wasn't paying attention to anything.

Carl took that moment to appreciate her face. Slowly without thinking, he moved a strand of her hair away from her face. She looked at him. He smiled - "You're so pretty. You know that?" He said in a giggly voice. "I love you, Y/n." He smiled at her so sweetly.

Now here's the thing that Carl didn't fully know. Y/n may have been in a state of bliss, but she wasn't deaf.

Her small smile faded as her brain processed what he said. Her face became more flushed as she got up. "Wha- what?"

She was feeling dizzy but, more importantly, scared?

Before Carl could even react, Y/n got up. She held her head, trying not to tip over as she bends over, picking up her book bag. "I-I got to go..."

Then she left. Carl didn't even get the chance to process it all. Maybe he shouldn't have smoked the rest of that pack.

The next day

***Carl's Pov***

IDIOT! STUPID! DUMBASS! I can't believe I said that to her! HOW STUPID COULD I BE!!

My mind was in a complete spiral, as for my face- well, it was completely red. Red from blushing out of embarrassment and red from me hitting my head against the wall for the fifth hundred times this morning.

Great, just great. Now I'll forever be stuck in the friendzone with her- NO worst, she'll completely ignore me and pretend like the last couple of years meant nothing.

My breathing started to get more complicated. I could feel the tears trying to leak out as I sat there on my bed in complete anguish relishing in the thought of Y/n friend zoning me forever.

Time skip!~

I finally managed to get myself together. At least enough for me to look somewhat presentable for school.

Ow fu*k! Why does this hurt so much?

My heartbeat only grew faster with each step; I got closer and closer to her locker. I wanted to explain myself, and I praised that maybe I might actually get a good ending to this, or at least a decent one. I even practiced all night for that rejection, my only goal now is to make sure we stay friends at least.

Though as I got closer, I couldn't help but squeeze my chest. I could have sworn you were able to see my heart pounce out of my chest with each heartbeat now as I was right around the corner from her locker...

And there she was... standing there. She was so pretty- what no! Stop that... I slapped my cheek, trying to knock myself out of it. I can't get a boner now. That would just be too embarrassing.

I thought as I walked up to her, leaning against the locker next to hers. I tried not to look like a fool as I said - "Hey! Wha- What's up, y/n?"

I really hope she didn't hear that stutter...

A part of me wanted to play it off completely and pretend like yesterday never happened, but the other part was stronger...

"So, listen, about the other day... I didn't-"

"Stop." She said, putting her finger on my lips. "Carl, I like what we have, but... I- I think we need some time apart..." She said as she held her head low. Walking off to her next class.

I felt completely crushed. It was as if she was breaking up with me even though we weren't even dating. I mean sure the entire school thought we were and now with that statement, I'm sure our school bloggers will be blogging about this.

It only took her 15 words to destroy me. She didn't even let me explain or express my feelings for her completely. She didn't even want to hear it...

Breathing became the hardest thing to do at that moment. I felt the tears again, but I didn't want to let them fall. I crushed up my knuckles, my nails dugged into my skin pretty deeply and at that moment I felt so angry. I smashed her locker. It left a dent as I stormed off.

I didn't mean to, at least I didn't mean to hit her locker, but I didn't feel okay with being brushed aside. So I followed her, perhaps this time she'd give me a chance to explain.

I know that's a little toxic, but I really didn't want to let her go or let this chance slip. I mean, I couldn't help but get this feeling that there would be no next time for us... but who knows?

A/n

Ughhh! This is kind of embarrassing to admit, but I've never done this kind of stuff before, so I'm sorry if stuff doesn't add up or their reactions to the substances don't make sense. I was mainly around alcoholics, so I kind of just went with my knowledge on that and went with it. Hopefully, it doesn't sound too bad or unrealistic. Anyways stay safe! 💕

#shameless #carl gallagher #carl gallagher x reader #reader insert #shameless fans #fanfic #fanfiction #angst #rejection #friendzone #sad boy

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mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess · 1 year

Text

The life we had (won't be ours again)

Based off one lyric from a Three Days Grace song

Warnings: explicit and detailed suicidial ideation and an almost suicide attempt! (But it has a happy ending!)

He had thought about it, once. It was a dark time in his life - the darkest, the loneliest, the most painful, when everything inside and out hurt nearly to the point of insanity.

It was two weeks after the death of the Yiling Patriarch was announced. Celebrations were still taking place. People were still rejoicing the death of a man they villified for no reason other than cheap propaganda and political machinations. A man that did not deserve to die. A man that Lan Wangji loved.

Near his seclusion house, there was a cliff, so steep you could not see the bottom of it, always shrouded in thick mist. It looked like a soft pillow, white and dense. Wangji liked staring at it, imagining what it would be like to fall. Whether he would die by the time he made it down or if he'd hit the ground first and then die a slow and agonizing death after.

But one day, after the doctor came to tend to the wounds on his marred back yet again, Wangji decided he had enough. He had enough of pain, bloody bandages, insomnia, tears, regrets, questions, loneliness. He had enough of everything.

He stumbled out of his house, right towards the cliff, intent to jump off. After all, people who are suffering and cannot be cured must be put out of their misery.

He was two steps away from falling before he heard somebody emerge from nearby bushes. There shouldn't have been anybody around. Wangji had never seen the old man that showed up ever before in his life.

"You shouldn't do what you came here to do." The man speaks, his voice warm, fatherly. "You may feel lost right now, but it won't be death where you find your purpose again."

Wangji felt.. angry? Frustrated? Who was this man? Why did he just have to show up?!

"I was like you, once. I lost the love of my life and everything we built together in a blink of an eye. It was sudden and unexpected and too much. And I didn't think there was any point to living anymore... so I came here to end it."

The old man closed his eyes for a second, breathing in the fresh air. "But then I realized that, if I died, the life in which I met my beloved would end too. That I'd never get to meet her for the first time again. That I'd never get to experience our first date or our wedding or the way she laughed anymore. That all the memories of her that I carried would be gone too."

A sad smile. "Don't you have anyone you want to live on in your memories?"

Wangji never saw that man again. He vanished before Wangji could even thank him or ask him his name.

But his words hung in the air like the very mist Wangji had been so ready to join minutes before.

He did have somebody whose memory he had to keep alive. He did want to remember everything about that person, even the things that now hurt.

He went to the Burial Mounds that very day. Had he been any later, A-Yuan would have been gone.

Now there was more than only a memory of Wei Ying for Lan Wangji to love.

And he did.

"Lan Zhan? Are you alright? You've been staring at that cliff for a while. Is there something wrong? I for one don't see anything there, it's just mist."

"Mn. It is nothing. Let's go home."

He almost thinks he sees the old man emerge from the bushes, smiling.

I never got to say it. Thank you.

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #wangxian #writing attempts #this is uh a bit personal but what is kinning a character if not a means to put them through the same bs i felt #a bit tailored to fit the narrative but alas

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ettadunham · 10 months

Note

hi! just yesterday i finally received the confirmation that i got my very first Real Full-Time Job (have been working and doing internships since i was a teen tho), so if you got any advice to survive in the capitalist hell, especially in the beginning, i'm all ears 😭

Anon, I now feel intense pressure to not lead you astray (is this what an older sibling might feel? I'm new to the experience 😂), so I'll start with a disclaimer, like any good little capitalist organization trying to deflect blame: none of what I'm saying might apply to your situation or be helpful in any way.

To be more specific, my advice should not be considered much at all if you're working at a state-funded job instead of a private one, and only maybe partially if you're working at a small business or the service industry. I've only ever been working at corporate jobs because I live alone with my cat and I need to pay rent somehow, so that's all I can speak for.

Okay? Okay. Let us proceed.

You can always just leave.

This truly is the number one rule in a neoliberal hypercapitalistic system. You are already regarded as a resource rather than a human being, so anyone telling you that you should have "company loyalty" or anything the like can shove it up their ass.

Of course, you do still need to consider your own situation. Even if you have enough support to get by for a few months, 9 out of 10 times I'd still advise actually getting a new job offer before handing in a resignation, because then you have more leverage and can be more picky about your new job.

However, I also did the thing that you're not supposed to do when I resigned from my first job personally, and I never really regretted it. It did force me to eventually apply for the same type of job that I didn't initially want to do, but it was a much nicer company and an enormous improvement on not just my mental but physical health (I was literally diagnosed with high blood pressure while working at my first job), so... yeah. If it sucks, hit da bricks, as long as there's a support system behind you.

2. Actually... you should consider quitting every 3 years.

In the corporate landscape, it's actually beneficial to switch jobs from time to time, because they will not raise your pay as much as its value goes up in the job market. This is a fact everyone is aware of, as well as how it actually costs more to hire and train new people every 2 years instead of just keeping the old ones, but alas, it's how shareholder capitalism works. All that matters is the next quarterly report.

That being said, not all of us like change, in fact, most people would prefer to have a stable job where they can just go, have a coffee with their old colleagues at the water cooler, do their shift and go home. Corporate propaganda will have you believe that workers just simply prefer to bounce from one place to another, but in reality, it's more of a necessity that comes from stagnating wages, changing expectations, and a general uncertainty about job security.

So... yeah, it's a bit more depressing when I put it that way, isn't it? But the point stands, especially if you feel like your job might not be secure, it's worth looking around. Maybe even look into adjacent positions where you can develop other skills if you really want to be the bestest boy (gender neutral) at capitalism.

You can of course also just move within the company you're working at if they have the flexibility. They love hiring from inside because then they can underpay you compared to new hires while keeping your knowledge in-house. But, I mean... you get new skills and don't have to change much about your environment? It's all about the symbiosis between worker and corporation where you're always the one getting leeched from anyway. <3

3. Drain them for all their worth.

Chances are, your corporate overlord might have some benefits for you. Make sure to look into it and use all of it. I know that for Americans healthcare is a big issue, so definitely look into what your corporate package offers on that, but also see if there's anything else. Can you go on business trips so you can travel more? Do they offer 20% off on gas? Reimburse you on certain purchases? Can you use your company's money to learn some programming to help you apply to your next job?

Have no shame about coming back with receipts every two weeks. If it's part of the package, it's part of the package. It's already in the company's budget anyway, they do not care.

4. Get along with people.

This is both more important and more complicated than it might look at first blush. Or maybe you're already seeing all the potential problems with this point.

Your workplace is much like high school where you're locked in and forced to interact with a bunch of strangers that you otherwise wouldn't choose to talk to. And you gotta do it every. single. day. Even just thinking about it exhausts my smol undiagnosed authistic heart.

But! I would venture to say that trying to get to know and get along with all those people is the most important thing you can do at your job. Sometimes even more so than actually doing your job, lol. Obviously, the most important part is your own team, but if you're at an office, talk to people at the coffee machine. Ask them about what they do, have small talks, etc. Make the effort to socialize a bit. Go to events if they're during work hours, and use your judgement if it's after work hours. Don't let yourself get sucked in into the whole 'we're a family' company culture and let it take over your life, but if it's something you'd enjoy (e.g.: we have a monthly board game club where I work currently), then it's a good way to build solidarity. And... *sigh* connections.

I did say it's like high school, didn't I? It's all about who you know baybey.

That being said... It's all easier said than done if you don't fit into the status quo and stick out in any way shape or form. Shocker, I know.

People also just have differing views, and you need to learn to deal with that somehow. Sometimes it turns out that whatever seemed like an end-of-the-world division on the internet is not all that important of a difference in reality. And sometimes it's much worse.

The thing you need to keep in mind here is that corporate culture generally loathes disruption, so you're not likely to encounter people saying slurs. Well, you're also not supposed to punch people for saying slurs though. It's all about the delicate balance of whatever is acceptable in polite society, and as long as that line's not crossed, you can either bite your tongue and sell a bit of your soul to the neoliberal gods for your survival, or push back mildly. You know. In a "polite" way uwu.

In any case, if you feel like the environment is too hostile, see point 1. Hit da bricks. Some workplaces are infected by assholery and mismanagement. Use your judgement, etc. If you're like me, living in a protofascist nation right now, you might just resign to the fact that more things are acceptable in polite society than you'd like, and you need to pay your bills instead of arguing with a middle manager about immigrants.

Okay, are we depressed enough about general corporate culture already? Cool. Let's see some actual useful tips then.

5. Talk to the people on your team and be a united front.

Does your company have a union? Then you should join that first thing, but as I've never really had that, I can't tell you much about that experience. What I do know, is that you should always form a united front with your immediate co-workers.

For instance, do you and your team members do the same thing? Then ask them about how much time they take to finish a task. If they say they take a day for something that in reality takes about 4 hours, then do the same. Don't be the asshole telling your boss that you finished it in 3 hours. And most importantly, never snitch on your teammates.

(Speaking of that example, you should also just overestimate how much time something would take. That's just good practice anyway. <3)

But yeah, the bottom line is that your teammates are your first line of defense against any kind of higher up shenanigans. Help each other out, discuss wages, stand your ground together. If you can build solidarity outside of your team, that's even better, but your teammates are the ones who can immediately step up for you if needed.

Obviously, realistically you can only give back as much as you receive. If your team doesn't feel the solidarity juice quite as much as you do, there's not much you can do about it other than give an opening and then adapt. At the end of the day, corporate culture incentivices individual achievement over collectivism despite all their empty slogans like "team work" or whatever.

Speaking of which...

6. Advocate for yourself.

So I am going to go completely against my previous point by saying that you need to speak up and advocate for yourself individually. If you want a raise, then call up your team lead, and tell them that you want a raise. Bring them the facts about your work, your achievements, if you have some of those juicy KPI numbers and they make you look good, then read them up, talk about how long you've been at the company, about inflation, the company's self-proclaimed growth... Give them an expectation even, and be prepared to talk in detail about how you are in fact the most bestest at your work actually, and politely imply that you might need to look elsewhere otherwise.

That being said... It's also just good practice to talk about your team's achievements as well. Last time I did this, I actually managed to get all of my team a small raise, even without trying all that much for a collective bargaining. In a healthy team environment, you should be able to talk up each of your team members in one way or another. You might be told that there's a limited amount of money going around for these raises, but it's not like you were ever gonna get more of it. Corporations will pay you as little as possible at every step of the way.

See point 1 and 2 again.

So, yeah. Make sure to advocate for yourself, especially if you've been at the company for a while (the time period here might vary, but bringing it up after a year is a good start if there's been no raises), or heard that you were getting less than your coworkers. Be your own hype man, while not talking down the rest of your team. Otherwise they might "forget" to pay you any of your deserved compensation.

This also goes in other aspects as well. If you're at a chill workplace, you can always bring it up to your boss if you hate your current work, and want to do something else. Employers are usually more accomodating for these types of complaints, and might even help you find other tasks or even a different position in the company, depending on the opportunities. (They might just try to give you more work at first though, lol, so be specific.) And if they're not chill... well, there's not much to lose, because you should already be thinking about point 1 again.

7. Work less, bullshit more.

This is it! This is the point that we are here for.

How to do as little work as humanly possible without getting at the top of the firing list. The true mysteries of the universe. We'll be combining some of what we learned in the previous points for this.

First things first, no, you should never bring your 100% for a bullshit corporate job. You might think that they'll appreciate it and you for it, but the truth is, whatever bonus or raise you might be getting is not gonna be all that much. And it's not going to worth all the effort you put into it.

Remember, corporations will always pay you as little as possible and toss you away at the first sign of inconvenience.

No, all that work is going to do to you is burn you out, and infringe upon your family or social life. If you're doing grunt work especially, then make sure to keep your boundaries. Keep a table about your work hours, even if it's not kept by your workplace, and make sure to keep it always at 8 or whatever your required hours are. Don't answer your email or phone outside of that window.

Even when it comes to your work hours, make sure to take breaks, take your time with your lunch. It's actually kinda unhealthy to work for 8 hours straight anyway, your brain is gonna be a mush by the end.

And also, as we talked about it, make sure to coordinate with your co-workers if they're doing the same or similar jobs. Find the optimal way to do your tasks in a way that's going to stay consistent with the expectations.

If you have a kind of job, where you have set goals, try to reach those, and if you have a bit of downtime, use it. You can ask for new tasks eventually, but don't rush it, if you have the opportunity, take a breather.

There are workplaces that might try to monitor your work, especially in home office, but as long as things are done, most workplaces do not care how much you napped during your work hours. However, if you're worried about seeming inactive on your laptop for instance, there are workarounds on that too. I have a powershell script that presses the capslock button every minute for 2 hours (for legal reasons, this is only for those times when I'm running a python script through a VPN connection, which standby mode would kill otherwise 😂), but I've had a friend who just opened word and put something on her space button. The human ingenuity when it comes to avoiding work is boundless.

The only consideration here is that you should still try to check your chat from time to time, but that can also depend on your workplace. Most people don't care if you reply them 2 hours late, no one's available 24/7.

That all being said, you might still want to secure your job a bit more other than doing the bare minimum, but the good news is, having all that downtime actually means that you can think about other things too if you choose! Maybe even ways to improve your job as it is. Or maybe just talk with someone at the water cooler. Never underestimate the power of talking to people at the water cooler tbh.

Also consider this: if you're doing your job too well, your reward most likely is going to be.... more work! And it's gonna be unpaid work at that. I know, because I somehow never managed to avoid this one, despite doing my best and napping as much as possible.

In conclusion, Bullshit Jobs™ deserve Bullshit Work. <3

#is this helpful anon? i'm not sure it's helpful lmao #at least it's long i guess #capitalism is hell #messages #anon

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sukieros · 1 year

Text

“WHATEVER HAPPENS, I LOVE YOU.”

DISCLAIMER: imperfect grammar, mention of cuss, yelling, starving, suffering reader

GENRE: angst, fluff

— non-idol!jake × reader's 2nd pov

Jake didn't mean to hurt you with the words he dropped after coming back from a very tiring work. You were undeniably hurt for hearing him tell you those aching words in a very imprudent manner. He was busy at work and you want attention from him because you missed him so much to the point that you're overthinking things. You even thought that he derelict you and your relationship now.

At first, it was fine for you but when he only barely got time to give attention to you, your impatient ass couldn't take it any longer so you decided to ignore him for a week and Jake got irritated by the attitude.

Jake knew that you are a very hot-blooded person but he can't be careful about the fact that you can do things that'll drive him nuts just like ignoring him for a long time.

“Y/N STOP GIVING ME THAT ATTITUDE AND JUST TALK TO ME ONCE!” he screamed.

But you only gave him a deadpan look that triggered him.

“FOR FUCK'S SAKE I COULDN'T BELIEVE I MARRIED A FUCKING BITCH LIKE YOU! YOU KNOW WHAT?? YOU'RE THE BITCHIEST BITCH I'VE EVER HAD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE AND I WISH THAT THIS MARRIAGE COMES TO AN END!!!”

He was huffing in his own breath with his eyebrows crossing together.

Not until his mad face went back to the soft Jake because there you are looking at him with your lost eyes. Realization hit him when he saw pain struck around your doe ones. He wants to apologize but it was too late because you ran upstairs and locked yourself inside the room.

Jake threw a mad punch in the air as tears streamed down from his puppy-like eyes. He hurt you and he hates himself. He wants to scream and slap his face a thousand times because he hurt the woman he dearly loves.

It's been three days and you never came out. Barely even touched the food he prepared you. He took a one month leave just to fix you and him.

And it's driving him insane and it's suffocating. He misses your presence around the house. He misses you doing the chores as he gets back home and he'll give you the warmest back hug. He misses your smile, laugh, giggles and even your cooking.

But everything vanished in days after those painful words he threw infront of you. Thinking about those moments, it's making him smile bitterly and let out another river of tears.

“Baby...” Jake's voice got shaky as hot tears fell from his eyes. His system got weaker knowing that you held his words that he never wanted to tell you.

“Baby, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry... I didn't mean to yell at you like that. Please open the door and let's talk. I can't handle seeing you being like this. It hurts me that I made you cry, baby. Baby I don't regret getting married at you. Baby please...” He cried out.

He was begging and apologizing many times like he's writing thousands of promissory note in one sitting.

On the other side of the door, you were crying too. “Bullshit...” You murmured to yourself.

Why would he say that he didn't regret you when three days ago he told that he wants to put an end between you and him?

Neither can you help yourself at this state. You love Jake. You love him so much that you are willing to hug him again. But something stops you for trying to.

Because you kept questioning your worth if you deserve him or does he deserves you?

You let out a sigh, wiping the salty tears your eyes gave out. You bit your lower lip and slowly held the door knob. You slowly twisted it causing for the door to unlock. When you hang the door widely, there he is.

His small figure on the floor sleeping. His cheeks were wet, probably from crying a lot. His hair was messy like a puppy. You slightly smiled because you missed this guy.

His eyes slowly twitched when you tapped his shoulder. And both of yours met. "Baby..." his eyes was half open and his voice was very raspy.

"If you're only in my dream now I would beg till my knees bleed just for you to forgive my shits." He said while hot tears slowly streamed down from his eyes.

He looks pitiful in his current position. You want to laugh it out but you can't help it because you're also crying too.

"Damn you look like an angel, are you taking me to heaven now huh?" He said carelessly. You smiled softly. "I love you." You said. But all he can respond is to smile. And his eyelids slowly dropped and began snoring again.

You went closer to his face and you were about to kiss him but you smelled a reek of alcohol between his lips. You sighed knowing that the young guy drowned himself drinking without your presence beside him. You carefully carried and guided him to your bed and made him lie down.

You fixed his position to put him in a comfortable sleep. You covered him with your blanket and turned the aircon to dry his sweat.

You went to the kitchen to make him a meal. It's been a while... You smiled softly and began cooking. You went upstairs carrying the tray containing your food and Jake's food.

He was sleeping deeply. “I'll wake you later my love.” You said and pecked his forehead and fixed the untouched food. You went beside him and cuddled his sleeping figure until you went to dreamland too.

It's 4PM sharp and Jake's eyes slowly opened. He was confused and his head hurts because of the liquor. It felt like he got ran over by ten-wheel truck.

“Fuck this hangover...” He mumbled to. His voice was raspy and his throat sores. He rubbed his eyes trying to process anything after he woke up. His eyes roamed around the place he's in right now. Only then realized that he's not outside your room anymore. He's inside, laying down on the bed you both share together.

His eye balls almost fell out and he tried to process the situation. He looked at the figure beside him and you're peacefully sleeping. His heart was thumping and he can't think straight. All he want to do is now cry as little by little, those thorns that were planted by him on his heart, were being pulled off.

You took care of him and you even cooked for him. A small smile crept on his lips and he wip his tears. He leaned down to kiss your cheeks waking you up from your deep sleep because you're a light sleeper. You slowly opened your eyes and you met his, again. His eyes were in pain and happiness but a hint of guilt was dancing through his brown ones.

“Jake...” You called out his name and he smiled softly as tears fell from him again and every droplet fell on your skin, you cried out too.

The scene of you staring at each other deeply, the peaceful silence filled by your sniffs and sobs, the way your eye pupils are screaming the sincerity of pain, of those strong emotions for each other, those were the passion, sadness, happiness, and madness.

Passion, it's because of the way you cared for him and the way he wants to bet his life in any danger just to protect you again even if he failed for the first time, but he's going to do it again, to love you more because you gave him another chance to fix the mistakes, his mistakes and maybe even yours. He's passionate about you, for you, and because of you. And those little by little shits he did unconsciously and those things that hurt you caused by him, he is willing to grow and to learn only for you as the woman he loves.

Sadness, because of guilt. Happiness because you're here again for the both of you and madness because he is mad at his self for treating you in the worst state as possible.

“I miss you so much....” He cried as he cupped your cheeks making you smile and cry out in joy, “I miss you more, love...” You replied back making him drown in guilt and regret.

He hugged you in a tight embrace, “Fuck, I love you so much. I regret saying those things. I'm sorry baby. I'm sorry. I'm sorry in many ways.” He's sincere and you know that.

“Jake, it's okay.” You let go of the hug and your lips made a reassuring smile.

“I forgive you now. Plus, it's my fault too. I didn't wait for you patiently and my stubbornness and cockiness suffocated you.” You said and wip his fresh tears.

Jake's eyes were sore and red yet he never looked away and his eyes just to stare at you because he never like the idea of losing you.

“Btw, let's eat our food now, it's getting colder. You need to stuff your stomach too.” You said taking the tray from the bedside table beside you and brought placed it on the sheets.

You felt a burning stare and you know that Jake's eyes never left you. Those thorns stuck in your heart were slowly being pulled away.

“We should eat.” You stated and looked at him. His eyes were screaming guilt again yet he's still happy.

“Okay, my love.” He smiled and began digging over the dish you made for the both of you.

You watched your husband who munched his food like he never ate one before. He was hungry because he has no appetite to eat because of the situation you both got in to.

Suddenly he started crying again while eating the rice. His hands were trembling as he gripped the handle of the spoon and fork.

“A-aegi... a-awae?” You asked worried. “N-nothing, nothing.” He shook his head and ate the whole plate while his head was bowing down.

“I-is something wrong?” You asked, concerned about Jake. Jake looked at you and cried loudly, opening his mouth like a baby who hurt himself.

“I'M SO SORRY!!! I'M SO SORRY FOR BEING A JERK!!!” He cried so hard. He was helpless. It aches him because after what he've done, you rewarded him with a food because of his hangover. Your cooking is one of his favorite thing and he felt so bad eating one after what he had done to you.

You just smiled, tearing out again. You hit his forehead and he pouted doing the puppy eyes. “Stupid puppy. I can't bare not talking to you for days. And it's killing me. So baby, are okay now?" You asked spreading your arms, body language saying that you want a tight embrace again from him.

Quickly he placed the tray on the bedside table and threw himself to you again. “Whatever happens, I love you.” You whispered on his ear.

“I love you more my wifey.” He said.

And that's how everything with you and him went. He became more sensitive, did his time management and you practiced being patient for him.

Understanding, good communication, consciousness, patience, sensitivity and respect are the aspects that build a good relationship, not perfect but a better one.

There are more aspects to maintain a good relationship with your lover but these are the basic yet useful ones.

Both of you managed your relationship well and avoided things that will hurt each other.

#enhypen x y/n #enhypen imagines #enha #enhypen jake #jake sim #enhypen

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purplesurveys · 8 months

Text

1739

Who in your family has been married the longest? (and how long?) As far as I know, my paternal grandparents – they'll be hitting 54 years next year. My maternal grandparents also remained married for I think around 52 years, but my grandpa passed away in 2015.

Do you have any Eastern European ancestry? I very much doubt that.

Where is your car parked right now? Our carport.

When did you last travel alone? Where were you going? I've never traveled alone, but my last trip without my family was in June when I went to Bangkok with friends. I'm still in awe we got to pull that off, and all for a concert.

Do you take your shoes off when you come inside? Of course. My Asian ancestors and I would find it horrifying otherwise.

What’s your favorite movie series? Twilight is probably the only movie series I've seen from start to finish – and I will do it over and over again until my dying breath haha.

How are you feeling today? A little stressed on one side, but I'm also actively trying to calm myself down given it's the weekend and I deserve at least two days to relax and take some weight off my shoulders hahaha.

Look to the right - what’s the first thing you see? Just a couch pillow. And the wall.

^^ What does that thing remind you of? How my ex broke the springs on one part of this couch like, 3 days into my parents buying said couch.

What was the first color you ever dyed your hair? Ash brown.

What is something that’s considered a luxury, but you wouldn’t want to live without? A phone.

Do you want to move anytime soon? Uh not really, I'm not in a rush.

Did you have coffee this morning? Of course. I'm also on my second coffee today, currently.

How good/bad was the quality of education you received in high school? I'd say it was pretty excellent – it's some of the teachers that were the problem. Some of them liked to take things so personally (blatantly disliking students for no reason, like wtf?) it felt so ridiculous to be there and watch it just happen. I was super annoyed with it from the onset that just to amuse and distract myself I'd also just subtly let them know back that I didn't like them and what they were doing. I'm sure I hit a few nerves during my time there but it wasn't like they could do anything because I did well in my classes and held a few leadership positions lol.

What was the most interesting year of your life, and why? 2021 was very fascinating. I went from planning a Recklessly Permanent Deed to finding BTS, turning my life around, meeting new friends, and realizing what happiness feels like.

What was the first social media site you ever used? I don't think it counts as social media but it was a local forum marketed for tween/teen girls.

Do you have any exes you really regret dating? I wouldn't say the regret fully points to the ex per se, but more so on the time wasted. I invested so much (ultimately) unnecessary effort and energy when I could've been doing other things. What brand of laundry detergent do you use? We use Tide.

Are you prone to mood swings? Mostly during work.

Have you ever lied on a resume? Or even in a job interview? I have mostly been honest. I'm incapable of living on a lie.

Of all your friends & family, who has the most nicely-decorated home? My mom's younger brother's family. As icy as our relationship has gotten, they do objectively have a nice house hahaha.

What was the last thing you bought, other than food? A new vape pen.

Do you smoke? Or vape? Just vape. I wouldn't turn down a cigarette, but I'd also never buy a pack for myself.

What are you dreading right now? Becoming a director, uugggGhhhhghggGGHGHGHHHH.

What brought about the end of the worst relationship you’ve been in? It was just an ugly buildup of six years' worth of differences and incompatibilities.

Where was the last place you spent the night other than your own home? Our Airbnb in Nasugbu.

Do you have any step- or half-siblings? Nope.

Have you ever been catcalled? Duh.

How old were you when you started scheduling your own doctors appointments? 22 or 23, I think?

Have you ever driven across an international border? Yup, when we went from Singapore to Malaysia.

When was the last time you spoke to a neighbor? 3-4 months ago when we needed help to jumpstart my car.

Is your best friend male or female? Female.

When was the last time you washed your bed sheets? Around a month ago.

What do people always seem to think is weird about you? I dunno. You'd have to ask them because I've never been told anything about this to my face lol.

Ever notice how high schools in movies/tv shows are portrayed way differently than in real life? Yeah, but I get it. You have to dramatize things like that to make them more interesting to watch because life is pretty boring for the most part.

Do you ever braid your hair? No.

What food sounds the most appetizing right now? I'm full, thanks.

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hopelesshawks · 1 year

Note

Congratulations on 1000 followers! Love the event ideas too. I was hoping for a Music Mashup with Hawks. About me-5' nothing, love baking and embroidery, enjoy teasing my SO, former dog groomer and current house wife, I can either be the quietest person you know or the loudest/most talkative depending on what the other person I'm engaged with needs.

For song I wanted to go with Always Be You by Cherish Danae

https://open.spotify.com/album/3OvKr9jazhFAOQ3MFzwnm1?si=NulCLQRURyC9fu4zlhVOMQ

Thank you! For the congratulations and for taking part in the event ❤️

Omg I love this song now, it's so beautiful and honestly so perfect for Hawks, thanks for putting me onto it. I'll also include the song at the bottom of the post. Holy shit this turned out long but I hope you like it

"You sure you don't want me to stay a little later?" your best friend asks yet again as you practically push her out the door.

"Yes, I'm positive," you chuckle, "and I know for a fact your boss will kill you if you're late again so go I will be just fine."

"But you shouldn't be alone on your birthday," she pouts.

It's a familiar argument at this point, one your friend has made several times since you realized she was about to earn herself strike three with her boss just so she could hang with you until your boyfriend got home. You roll your eyes fondly as you get her out the apartment and then lean on your door jamb to say your goodbyes.

"Hawks will be here soon, he should be flying home by now," you explain.

"I still don't understand why he'd accept a multi-day mission in another city the same week as your birthday. He's cutting it awfully close you know! Has he even texted you yet today?"

"He'll tell me happy birthday in person when he gets here. Trust me. Now get out of here before you get yourself fired."

Your friend begrudgingly leaves and you can't help but chuckle at her antics. She's a little on the overprotective side but you adore her anyway. You don't actually know what time Hawks will get back so you decide you may as well keep your hands busy while you wait, grabbing your needle, thread, and latest project while you settle onto the couch. From there it's easy to lose track of time, lost in the familiar motion of the needle, so much so you don't even notice that the sun is setting until a knock at your balcony door startles you out of your concentration.

Your surprise melts into fond affection as you take in the sight of your clearly rundown boyfriend leaning heavily on the glass door as he waits for you to let him. You’re up in a heartbeat, sliding the door open and letting him pull you into an embrace as he enters.

“Sorry I didn’t warn ya I was coming ahead of time, villain busted my phone,” he explains, his voice heavy with exhaustion, “can we collapse on your couch for a minute?” There’s scarcely a moment between you nodding and your back suddenly hitting the seat cushions of your couch as he maneuvers you over and plasters himself against you, his taller frame enveloping yours almost completely.

“Crushing me babe,” you chuckle but the only reply you get is a huff as he shuffles down the couch to give you more room to breathe and that’s about it. All you can do is roll your eyes fondly again before taking back up your embroidering, allowing him to nap as the early evening turns to late night.

You try not to disturb him but you know you’ll both regret it if you sleep on the couch all night so when Hawks shows no sign of rousing even as the clock ticks closer and closer to midnight, you gently shake his shoulder until he blinks up at you with golden eyes.

“We should move to the actual bed sleepy bird,” you explain and he nods, clearly still half asleep. He rises slowly and reaches out to grasp hold of your hand, tugging you with him as he makes his way back to your bedroom.

You allow yourself to be led if for no other reason than the fact you always think there’s something particularly adorable about Hawks when he’s this tired, but as his eyes reach the clock by your bed he freezes.

“Everything ok?” you ask, confused by the sudden stop.

Your boyfriend whirls around to face you, his hands grasping your shoulders as you register the exhaustion that has swirled around his golden irises only moments ago has been replaced with guilt and panic.

“Yesterday was your birthday,” he says abruptly, his mouth a grim line of disappointment.

“Today is my birthday, yea, but—“

“No, it’s after midnight. Yesterday was your birthday and I missed it.”

You’d planned on teasing him a bit about it in the morning but you recognize that tone of voice and immediately you soften.

“Baby it’s alright,” you assure him but he shakes his head, pulling away and shoving his hands into his pockets.

“It’s not, I shouldn’t— you deserve better,” he insists, blowing out a breath of frustration as he sits on the bed, eyes trained on the ground.

Anyone who didn’t know him would miss it, but to you the self-flagellation is obvious. He hates disappointing you, hates letting you down, hates when he gets so fixated on work that he neglects you. Your poor bird, so desperate to be good and so frequently caught between being a good boyfriend and a good hero. You can practically see the gears in his brain spinning as he hyper analyzes every second of the past few days, trying to identify what he could’ve done better to avoid this failure. If you let him he’d probably do this all night, replaying each singular moment until he’d solved it even if the answer was an unrealistic standard to set himself to. But of course you won’t let him, not when he already expects far too much of himself.

You move to stand in front of him, gently taking his face in your hands and tilting it up so his eyes meet yours. “Baby, it’s ok. You’re exhausted, of course you are. It’s hard being number two, there’s nothing you could have done,” you assure him, but he swallows hard, not quite able to accept your words just yet.

“Even if it’s understandable you still deserve someone who can put you above everything else. You… you should be with someone who can make you their everything,” he whispers into the quiet space between you both.

You shake your head fondly, a small smile gracing your lips.

“Fortunately for us that’s my call to make not yours.”

“You’d be better off without me.”

“You’re wrong,” you insist, your words filled with a conviction that speaks loud even though your voice is still soft and he cannot help but close his eyes and tremble with it, the number two hero in all of Japan turned to putty in your hands.

“Look at me,” you request but he resists, not fully prepared to find the love he already knows will be in your eyes.

“Keigo, look at me.”

How can he refuse when you say a name he used to hate like it’s something precious?

His eyelids flutter open and he nearly gasps when your gazes meet.

“I know you find this hard to believe, but trust me when I say that if I had to choose, it’ll always be you,” you assure him before pressing a kiss to his lips.

He sighs into it, drawing you in close until he can properly fold you into his arms and wings. It’s the same thing you’ve told him a hundred times before but each time is a precious gift nonetheless. As if reading his mind you break the kiss but don’t go far so your lips still brush against his as you repeat the words again.

“It’ll always be you.”

#hopeless 1k #holyyyyy shit #I can’t promise all of the event pieces will turn out this long it really depends on the song and stuff I’m working with #but gosh I love how this one turned out

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messagefromthemess · 2 years

Text

Simple Notepad

You see everybody got a story to tell

Well here's mine

My pain's deep, I have been through hell

I managed to survive so I got a story to tell

Listen, I stand victorious

Make the sign of the cross

Look I'm here to be the voice for every friend I ever lost

Let me pray as I put together my hands

I've never been ashamed to tell you the person I am

When it comes to doing drugs, I have never been a rookie

But hold up, let me tell you about the places that they took me

I haven't showered, it's been possibly a week

And I'm so deep in a psychosis, impossible to speak

The coke is in my arm, now it's impossible sleep

My throat's numb, closed shut, so it's impossible to eat

Losing weight's a part of my daily routine

I always use against my will, just praying I was clean

So nod your head if you understand what I mean

When I was growing up I never thought that I would be a fiend, ever

My life's tumultuous, it's never getting better

Another abscess from my arm is getting severed

My exquisite vision, depiction of dereliction

Livid living conditions, malicious on a mission

All these damn cops, look they all know me by my first name

Paramedics had to revive me this ain't a game

I worn the same clothes for like the last ten days

And look I want to do better but I don't know a different way

Completely all alone, I'm sitting in this room

I empty out the bags, brown liquid in the spoon

I have to do a lot, can no longer do a little

The water's been added, I place the cotton in the middle

I'm sucking every drop up into this plastic device

As I'm tying off, I'm trying to find a decent vein to strike

I shove it ever so gently up underneath my skin

As I'm pulling back the plunger till there's blood in the syringe

I push it in and try to drift away to heaven

But criminals like me that's never the place that we're headed

The guilt, shame, remorse and regret I never address

And I'm a mess from all this pain and this anguish

I'm filled with stress, overdoses, I'm emotionally broken, this ain't a joke

I'm smoking on a Newport, I never have any hope

This is me, I'm feeling like I don't deserve more

I feel disgusted as I'm pushing on this burnt chore

Someone stole the vinegar in the midst of a black out

Another shooting gallery, another crack house

On the porch ''Welcome To Hell'' is on the floor mat

I'm glancing at my arms and all I ever see is sore tracks

I'm feeling filthy dirty needles with the orange cap

Peaking out the window, someone whispers ''Lock the door latch''

We're blasting off, departing from this mothership

I look around as others search the carpet for another hit

Crest whitening strips and Mach 3's

I'm on a suicidal mission till these cops try to stop me

We boosted everyday selling steaks for half price

Any dream I ever had was shattered by glass pipes

Glass rose, devil got my in his lasso

Entered the gates of hell and I didn't even have a pass-code

I'm hard headed, I will never learn my lesson

You know the drill, commit a crime, and get arrested

The misery never ends, I spend another week in jail

I don't have friends, family never paid my bail

So I would withdrawal and kick on that concrete floor

I feel like I've had enough but my body is screaming ''MORE''

The food is horrible, but I haven't eaten in days

No reason to call home cause I got nothing left to say

I'm tired of this jail, I don't ever want to see prison

Look I'm tired and exhausted from this life that I'm living

I would get a couple days clean, and say that I was done

But every time I got released I was back on the run

It's back to thieving, lying, robbing, and ripping, and running

These problems I don't solve them, I'm crippled and sick to my stomach

I hang with prostitutes and these deadly degenerates

I'm homeless for the moment, but that's really quite irrelevant

The only thing that matters in life is my next high

I got to be willing to change and give it my best try

I'm a servant and this heroin's my king

I'm feeling like a slave, as I dangle from these puppet strings

I'm just a marionette, I'm staring at death

As I am carrying regrets that are just tearing through my flesh

We're dealing with a topic we're so careless to neglect

We're dealing with a dilemma leaving every parent stressed

I'm so sick and tired though of being sick and tired

But then it finally happened, motivated by desire

I hit this point, I wanted to change, enough is enough

My efforts been exhausted and I'm tired of being stuck

My faith is never blind and my future I barely see

But overnight, was open minded I had this moment of clarity

So it begins and it's essential I believe

Cause if it worked for you, then it just has to work for me

Through all this pain, there's got to be a positive message

I talked about the past, now let's talk about the present

I'm no longer living that way, for me it's a blessing

But with one bad decision I am back in that obsession

In 05 was diagnosed with an insidious disease

I utilize the bad, it's always been the fuel for driving me

And then u ask me ''Why do I give this my all?''

I'm not trying to see ''Rest In peace'' on my Facebook wall

I got clean and started writing

I started touching lives, I never thought that this would happen

This shit today, trust me it isn't heroin

It's killing everybody and the comments are disparaging

No one cares or gives a fuck that I'm clean

For them another deadly overdose is just something to see

Look, I pay attention to every thing that I read

As you are sitting there judging in front of your iPhone screen

Talking about these dying addicts and how they are worthless

And if they put a needle in their arm then they deserve it

But that's someone's Mother, someone's Uncle, someone's Daughter

And that's someone's Aunt, someone's Son and someone's Father

As I write, this shit is giving me chills

And I am speaking off experience, that's how I know it's real

These ignorant motherfuckers will say it's not a disease

And look I really don't care, you can believe what you believe

I don't care to argue, I don't got to give you proof

Listen, I was taught you don't got to defend the truth

Incurable, progressive and fatal unless arrested

I'm expressing aggression with every sentiment confession

Once a junkie always a junkie, you're boring me

The last time I checked, there's one ultimate authority

I'm sick of these remarks and opinions from all these critics

Cause if you never lived it, then trust me you'll never get it

Be quite, you're not allowed to speak about it

If you've never lived it, then you're not allowed to speak about it

How often you forget, the only time that you should ever open your mouth is to eat a dick

Everybody is dying it makes me sick

This isn't a epidemic, this is more like an apocalypse

So when I struggle, it's only right that I fight

And my experience recites on how that diamond saved my life

Look, you don't got a clue what I've been through

When I was at my worst you couldn't walk a mile in my shoes

I survived a lot, so it's only right that I smile

And I'm aware of my surroundings, I'm no longer in denial

I'm blown away by every praise that I get

It gives me motivation, it's the only reason I never quit

We got to do this together, we must trust

There's no you, there's no me, there's just us

I'm doing this with courage, I'm doing this with pride

I'm doing this for every single friend that's ever died

I dedicate this song to anyone that's lost a loved one

So live your life cause tomorrow may never come

Be grateful for your past, embrace it, don't get embarrassed

Everyday there is more children growing up without their parents

I felt pain, look I'm not afraid to cry

My life changed once I was willing to try

I've been giving many chances now it's truly do or die

I'm doing what it takes so my daughter will never see me high

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