#got such a massive unexpected flashback to the time I was little and helping my grandparents harvest potatoes and carrots every autumn

[canisalbus]

idk why but with the hatchet ask i immediately thought of young machete visiting his family in the countryside and coming across his cousin that looks at him like this and machete doesn't know what to do with himself lol (excuse the quick and very rough sketch dsjfsjd)

i imagine hatchet is crossed with some livestock guardian breed, that's where he gets the darker brows from, but he has the same ears as machete

.

#I LOVE HIM #little Hatchet #and his potaters and rubber boots #the heart shaped patch ouuhuhh #and the sprout! the little potato sprout #sighthound + livestock guardian mix is such a cool idea though #he looks like he'd be a bit fluffier and more robust #probably with bigger paws #A+ eyebrows on this lad #they could go looking for snails together #Machete's parents and brothers are relatively dark and overall not that dissimilar to this design actually #gift art #tabelschnasse #Hatchet #got such a massive unexpected flashback to the time I was little and helping my grandparents harvest potatoes and carrots every autumn

[tallymonster]

Memories of Us chapter 8

So here we go!!!! First time cross posting AO3 and Tumblr! This is exciting 😏 anyway, I wanna give a giant thanks to my friends over at the Astarion Brainrot discord, you all have helped me out with figuring out AO3 and now both places I'm posting to are caught up! Only took the whole week 🥲😅

Well anyway, as always many thanks to my bestie @micropoe10 I appreciate everything you do for me babe 😘 many many maaaaany thanks to @cheesy-cryptid for their artwork ❤️ I literally look at it each time I have to think of something to write.

Chapter 8

Stay and watch me fall

 After the fundraiser, the museum had gotten into its busy season. The warmer months made it so that more people were coming in to get away from the heat.

 Which meant more reasons to finally solve this damn mystery that's been hanging over Octavia's head for the last few weeks. She's gotten as far as she can without having to go consult Astarion on the source of this book. There was only so much trying to convince Gale to use his magic to try to restore the book without him lecturing her about misuse of his studies, magic, and family line. 

 

Ever since they shared their secret and the fact that he woke up in her house with a nasty hangover and some embarrassing flashbacks, they've become much closer as friends.

Eventually he confides in her that her rejection of him was not unexpected. "To be perfectly honest, I see the way you look at him...it's fine, because I also see the way he looks at you. Just because you can't see his eyes, doesn't mean I have not. I know him, I know how he looks at you." 

 Gale kept his gaze in the book he was reading, "Besides, I can't resist it sometimes either. He's got this way of twisting things to his benefit. I can only imagine how he uses that to his advantage." Octavia looks up somewhat shocked, Gale is giving her a challenging glare, as if he's given her all the help he would give her in this particular situation. They smirk at each other and keep working.

—-------------------

Following the little routine she had gotten herself into, Octavia does her rounds surveying the first floor of the museum. She reaches into the pocket of her cardigan and plays with the silk handkerchief she never returned. She's been meaning to give it back to Astarion, but he was 'traveling for work' whatever the hells that meant.

 Octavia continues her stroll, going up to the office corridors. Out of the corner of her eye she sees something peculiar. The giant ornate dark wooden door that leads into Astarion's extremely off limits office is cracked open. She could knock and see if he's in there, but she takes the opportunity to give him a taste of his own nosey medicine. 

 She walks up, tiptoeing slowly to the door, she gives it a small push and it easily flows open. It's as of the room itself is inviting her in. She steps through and gently closes the door, leaving it unlocked. 

 As she turns she begins to take in the room. A full suit of armor is put together next to a massive bookshelf, candelabras stacked with melted wax and softly lit candles.

His desk is at least twice the length of hers and Gale's combined. There's books, papers, art, and all sorts of random things all around. Each square of wall is crammed with trinkets. Much to her advantage, the room is still fairly dark due to the heavy curtains covering the window behind his desk, a small slit of the last beams of sunlight peeking through them.

 A faint smell of gardenias, moonflowers, and primroses filled the room. Seems like he's close to their gardens, but as she looks towards the window, she notices a small bundle of them as if they've been recently cut. 

 She comes up to one of the dusty display cabinets and peers through. As she eyes some gemstones, she can hear faint footsteps coming towards the office. The only way out is to hide and wait, so she sprints over to the only alcove she can slip quietly into. There's a spot between the armor and the bookshelf, she takes her place as her heart travels up her throat. 

 Astarion opens the door, speaking to someone and trying to make his departure. "Yes yes, I'm very honored that you have donated sooo much money to our esteemed institution, but I really must get back to my research, you understand right?"

Octavia hears the door open and close, her breath shudders a bit and she regulates her breathing. She can still see what he's doing, thankfully shrouded in partial darkness. 

 Octavia watches as Astarion sauntered over to his desk, he sits with his arms dramatically thrown behind the headrest of the chair, his legs stretched out in front of him. Octavia never noticed how svelte he was, the suits paint a clear picture, but this was a new angle. 

 He lets out an exasperated groan and takes off the glasses on his face. Octavia takes another sharp inhale, was she about to see what he fully looks like after three godsdamned months? Astarion leans forward and has his face in his hands, he's clearly stressed out about something.

He turns the chair to face the window, takes one of the flowers into his hand and sniffs it deeply. He lets out a soft sigh and Octavia swears he said something behind it. 

 "I should have seen this all with you, my moonflower. I was so foolish to not accept your offer, I can't let our past get in the way, not this time." He speaks softly as he walks towards the window, pulling on the heavy fabric. Swinging open the window and looks out as the sun's final light turns to dusk. "To have planted all of these flowers for you, and I can never share them." 

 He sighs deeply, taking a long inhale."Fuck, I keep seeing her, now I'm smelling her too? It's like this ghost has come to haunt me yet again." He closes his hand on the small flower bud in his hand, crushing it. 

 It's become a little difficult for Octavia to see what he was doing. As she tries to get a closer look, she balances on the suit of armor, making it swing a little. She gasps and pulls away immediately.

The weight of her back hitting the wall causing a sound loud enough to alert Astarion, whom she can hear mutter a disguise spell. 

 He turns and she can see his eyes clearly at last. They're gorgeous, an orange hue with a reddish ring near the pupils. "I know you're there…" Astarion's voice sounds eager, threatening yet alluring, like a cat chasing a bird. 

 He stalked around the room slowly, Octavia's heart was thundering in her chest; her breathing quick and shallow. She pressed herself into the corner she was tucked in, shutting her eyes tight as he approaches her.

 "Come on, I really don't think you want to play this game with me..."

 She trembles as he stops in front of the bookshelf, her eyes open wide, they're practically face to face and somehow he doesn't react. He's just staring absentmindedly.

 Astarion takes a sharp inhale, and exhales in a shudder, his face warps into a mix of emotions. She watches as he goes through anger, confusion, fear?

 The way his whole body tensed as he glared at her, past her, it was startling. He takes another deep inhale, a wave of emotions passes through him. She watches as his chest rises and falls rapidly. His pupils are blown and he seems elsewhere. 

 The way his gaze is boring down on her makes her knees weak, all the choices she made up until this point shooting alarm bells into her limbs. "Little mouse, I've caught you." 

 Octavia gulps loudly, she feels his hand grab her arm, pulling her out of the shadows onto his chair. "Your turn now, speak." Astarion's voice was harsh and pointed. "Well?" He kept his gaze on her, his bright eyes seemed to change into a fiery hue, the orange quickly dissipating into a red shadow. 

 "I- I-" she reaches into her pocket and pulls out the silk square of fabric. "I've been meaning to return this to you, but you've been gone. I saw the door was slightly cracked open and I came in hoping to find you." Octavia glances up, the humiliation clearly on her face. "You came in so fast, I don't know what I was thinking. I didn't hear anything, I'll leave." 

 Octavia puts the handkerchief on his desk and tries to stand. Astarion puts his arm across her on the chair, pinning her to the chair. "We are not done here." He lifts her head with his hand, he's looking down at her as if he's reading her mind. "That's not all you want. Talk." She breaks away from him, the electricity from his eyes was far more intense when he was mad. 

 "I- I haven't seen you since the night of the opening, in my yard. You've been gone and you're so damn secretive when you're here. Why do you make it seem like you're so easy to talk to and trust when you're the most shut off person I have ever met?" She feels the heat from the embarrassment and annoyance growing into anger. Her body trembles with the adrenaline rushing throughout.

 "If that was all, you didn't need to be sticking your nose where it doesn't belong, and I certainly don't need you slinking around in my private office." He hisses the last words, releasing the grip on the desk he held.

 "Next time you desire to speak to me, come to me, don't decide for me. Is that clear?" His voice is grating and deep, vibrating through Octavia. She gulps and nods, her breaths hot and shallow.

 "Speak up. I'm having trouble hearing you." He calls mockingly back to their time in her garden, Octavia shakily replies "Yes." He lets out a dark chuckle "Good girl. Leave." 

 Octavia hesitates a little, she was breathing heavily, their eyes locking onto each other "Did I fucking stutter?" He glares daggers into her, she's finally able to see his whole face and gods, he's gorgeous.

 "You're- your eyes…they're beautiful. This is the first time I've seen you.." she trails off, his face starts to shift as the anger melts away. 

 Astarion and Octavia stare into each other's eyes for a few seconds, he slowly creeps closer, his fingers trailing up her neck turning her towards him again. He keeps his burning gaze on her, she's right here and he can smell the familiar perfume he picked up earlier.

 He shudders, the sweet scent is intoxicating and nostalgic. Octavia lets out a soft gasp, he's so close to her lips, their eyes stay locked on each other.

He leans in closer, ghosting his lips on hers. She takes a sharp inhale, thinking he'd close the distance. Instead, he rubs his nose on hers and whispers into her mouth,

 

"Get out before I do something we'll both regret." 

tag list:

@justporo

@satanicspinosaurus

@sleepy-timaeus

@tragedybunny

@davenswitcher

@wayward-hel

#fic: memories of us #astarion baldurs gate 3 #fic tag: headcanon #bg3 #astarion #baldur's gate 3 #astarion ancunin #bg3 astarion #baldurs gate 3 #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #astarion bg3 #fanfic

[mashtoncliffin]

tangled // geralt of rivia

pairing: geralt x fem!reader

summary: a very sweet morning spent with Geralt, but something unexpected occurs

tw: slight swearing, implied smut, otherwise it’s all fluff

     The sun was hiding behind the clouds, casting a mellowed light onto the ground and into the small, yet warm cottage. A low grumble came from the massive white haired man with his amber eyes still closed, moving around to turn away from the incoming rays which peeked out from the windows.

     Instinctively, the witcher wrapped his scarred yet protective arm around the woman laying next to him, though she was still in a state of deep sleep. His keen hearing picked up her light snores, his amber eyes peeked open to notice the tranquility on her kind face. Seeing her luscious hair was sprawled out on the silk pillowcase, Geralt couldn’t help resist his urge to run his calloused hands through her locks, slowly rubbing her back as he did so.

     One thing that he had forgotten, even though rarely anything slipped that sharp mind of his; was that how tangled his woman’s hair got due to her habit of tossing and turning during the night. His fingers got stuck in the middle of her scalp, her locks seeming to trap his hand in their grip to keep him even closer to her.

     “Fuck,” Geralt muttered just so he could hear. He wriggled his hand gently to free it trying not to wake the girl but still no luck. His bright amber eyes focused on the strands in his fingers, flooding his mind with flashbacks of her moaning his name as he pulled her hair back and slapped her ass.

     He soon snapped back to reality as the girl subconsciously moved her feet closer to Geralt’s, still fast asleep. Taking a deep breath, he quickly ripped his hand out of the tangled mess as fast as he could, the sound of the strands being torn seemed to echo around the cottage. The girl’s head snapped back, jolting her awake.

     “The fuck Geralt?” she groaned, rubbing her eyes open looking at the white haired witcher with his hands up, a little smile growing on his lips. Her hands patted her hair, looking for if something was in it. She was not a morning person to say the least, and was known for throwing tantrums and even daring to yell at Geralt when she was awaken too early. Once, it led to her and Geralt having a yelling match at the crack of dawn, making Geralt leave. He came back exactly a day after, only to have her start crying in his arms and asking for forgiveness.

     “Uhhh” he kissed the crown of her head, not knowing how to explain himself. “I was giving you a back rub when you were sleeping and my hands got stuck in your hair.” She couldn’t resist the pure innocence on his sweet face, his eyes melting her heart every time she looked at her witcher.

     “It’s okay Geralt,” she cooed, shifting out of his arms to lay on his chest. “We all don’t have hair like silk that reminds me of the moon.” Her soft fingers gingerly twirled a loose strand of his white hair, and gave him a small, sleepy smile.

     Geralt let out a chuckle, showing his shiny teeth in a small grin, never getting used to the compliments the girl showered him with.  

     “Go back to sleep, sleeping beauty,” he told her after seeing her yawn. He caressed her skin with his large hands, coaxing her into closing her eyes with the slow beat of his heart. 

     He had her wrapped his finger, and she had him wrapped around her hair. 

________________________________________

(A/N): tysm for reading through, if u enjoyed it pls give it a quick like or reblog! masterlist is here & as always, if u want to send in feedback, request something, be friends, or just talk my ask is here 

#the witcher #the witcher x reader #geralt of rivia #geralt x you #geralt #fluffy!geralt #geralt x y/n #geralt x reader #geralt drabble #the witcher imagine #the witcher one shot #geralt one shot #the witcher x y/n #the witcher blurbs #the witcher netflix #the witcher x you #geralt imagines #geralt imagine #the witcher writing #the witcher drabble #geralt blurb #geralt of rivia x reader #geralt of rivia x you #geralt of rivia x y/n #geralt fluff #geralt x female reader #the witcher fluff #the witcher preferences #geralt gif imagines #geralt writing

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 310: A Tale of Two Kacchans

Previously on BnHA: Flashback!Deku was all, “hey, you know what sounds like a good decision? Abandoning my studies at the safest place in the country so that the bad guy who wants to find me and kill me has literally nothing standing in his way of doing that.” All Might was all, “I fucking knew you were going to say some bullshit like that so whatever, but I’M COMING WITH YOU and I’m also going to invite the Hawksquad to come with us, mostly so that I can steal Jeanist’s car.” Jeanist was all, “okay fine you can borrow my car, All Might, but only if you wear jeans.” All Might was all, “okay sure” and he wore jeans and also sunglasses and a leather jacket and it was pretty rad. Anyway so now they’re out there fighting crime and hunting down the LoV and stuff, and absolutely none of it is going to end well, I’m just letting you know now. But I guess we’ll let them enjoy it while it lasts.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “happy belated Kacchan’s Birthday makeste, here’s the flashback you really wanted at long last,” and proceeds to pull the old vestige flashback out of the kitchen drawer and upend its contents all over my Friday afternoon without the slightest bit of warning. OFA III is all “WHAT’S UP I’M JUST SOME GUY, HELLO,” and okay?? Hello yourself. OFA II, on the other hand, is all, “okay yeah I have different hair and stuff, but I’m like 98% sure I’m either Bakugou or his goddamn twin, I mean look at me.” Which, yeah. I looked, and he really is though you guys. Anyway though, so he and OFA II basically just showed up in the First (who goes by Yoichi now)’s prison cell one day all “HEY THERE, WE’RE HERE TO SAVE YOU, APPARENTLY, ALTHOUGH WE SEEM REAL CONFUSED ABOUT IT TBH BUT HEY.” And so they saved him, and Yoichi was all “hey nice to meet you do you want to join my super-exclusive Saving The World Club”, and so they did, and then the chapter ended lol. I would have said yes too.

oh my sweet lord?? I didn’t realize we were getting a color page this week, but LOOK AT THIS

this could have been a fucking volume cover. I’m almost mad that it wasn’t, lol but I mean fkldjslklk just look at it??! Horikoshi out here spoiling us and making sure we’re well fed since next week the manga is on break for Golden Week. well this will certainly help to tide me over. hot damn look at those colors

so now it’s raining on some dumb building in the middle of somewhere

is this where the Hawksquad has set up camp for the night? or are we actually cutting back to the League? that’d be unexpected (but not unwelcome)

ffff nevermind dammit it’s just more random citizens under attack

feels like this is the third or fourth scene we’ve had of civilians being Under Attack since this arc started. I mean no offense, but I think we get it by this point. it’s the end times, etc. etc. we’re well aware that things have gone to shit

so apparently these two guys are facing off against a girl with a mutant quirk. and she’s telling them that she’s not a monster and she was just scared, oh shit. I believe her btw, you can see it in her face

but these assholes don’t believe her at all and they’re pointing what looks to be some type of support item gun at her

you know what’s interesting, is that this kind of random quirk discrimination is the exact kind of thing PLF and the like were swearing up and down they’d put a stop to with their glorious revolution. it’s almost like those guys were completely full of shit. huh

so yeah, fortunately for this woman someone is stepping in and intervening before she can be blasted to bits by this trigger-happy asshole for absolutely no fucking reason

looks like a hero actually stepped in and saved her?? but no that can’t be, heroes are the ones that ruin everything and make everything worse, or so I understand. lol where did all of this sarcasm come from out of nowhere dlkdsjlk I’m sorry guys I just suddenly got swept up in the hypocrisy of certain people’s philosophies out of the blue idek

anyway so it is of course Deku saving her, and now he’s trying to talk thess jerks down all diplomatically instead of just kicking their asses, which is certainly a choice

MOTHERFUCKER I’M

fucking impossible to miss the real world parallels here. shit. this woman nearly died for her crime of Walking While Having A Mutant Quirk huh. and meanwhile Deku is just letting this guy scurry away and even letting him keep that fucking bazooka of his, like, ????

fucking hell she’s crying!!

lmao this chapter is actively trying to make me mad now huh. that’s some genuine righteous anger I’m feeling on behalf of this fictional ferret lady whom I only met two minutes ago. girl you are not the one who needs to explain herself here!! you didn’t do anything wrong holy fuck. everything about this situation sucks so much

fkKJKLMMMHFGH

“I’m sorry I made you upset, please enjoy this panel of tiny!floating!Deku hefting this lady’s massive beach umbrella up for her like the fucking gentleman he is” well okay then thank you sir

and JUST LIKE THAT the tension is broken and I’m entirely incapable of taking the rest of this conversation seriously because Deku’s trying to be all calming and authoritative, but now the illusion has been broken because I know he only comes up to like her knees

“well thanks again for saving me young man. I’ll leave you to it, I’m sure you’ve got more important things to do like protecting your Lucky Charms cereal from all those greedy children”

oh hey All Might

you wouldn’t have just let that guy with the bazooka just walk away to commit more attempted murders would you?? man

OH MY GOD DEKU IS IMMEDIATELY DITCHING HIM AGAIN

I ~CANNOT STAY HERE~ oh, well, sorry to keep you detained I know you’re busy

dfslkjlk oh my god

fucking told you Deku didn’t pack any food lol. it’s literally all notebooks in that bag you guys. he couldn’t just leave them all in his dorm room when he left, because what if someone tried to read them and came across one of the pages where he absentmindedly doodled Kacchan’s name surrounded by little tiny hearts oh gosh

AWWWWW

I needed this Horikoshi. thank you for this wholesome soul-cleansing interaction after all of that bullshit earlier

so now Deku’s climbing up this tall building to eat his lunchbox more dramatically. Tokoyami would be proud

and Banjou is saying that society right now is just like in The Good Old Days (read: bad old days) when quirk society was even more of a mess than it is now

which is exactly how AFO likes it, no doubt

so now Deku’s having a whole conversation with Banjou seemingly out loud lol, weird. and he’s basically saying that they don’t have any clues as to where TomurAFO and the League are hiding right now, and none of the Tartarus escapees they’ve found knew anything either

mmmmmfmhm, marge simpson noises

but you think you can?? you, alone, by yourself?? you think you stand a chance?? I just need you to think this all through a bit more kid

Deku it is NOT JUST YOUR RESPONSIBILITY ALONE, PLEASE REALIZE THIS ALREADY. YOU MAY BE THE CHOSEN ONE, BUT EVEN THE CHOSEN ONE NEEDS HIS FRIENDS BY HIS SIDE GODDAMMIT

and of course my pleading is all in vain, because he’s a fictional character who can’t fucking hear me, and also because I’m pretty sure there’s only one character who is going to actually be able to get him to hear reason here. I’ve been saying it, and I’ll keep saying it lol. so until then I guess I’ll just have to be patient

anyway so it appears we’re segueing into another flashback??? HORIKOSHI PLEASE GIVE ME SOME BAKUCRUMBS BEFORE THE TWO WEEK BREAK, I BEG YOU

dlKSDJLFKWJELKGHSLGKLEKJLFKHLGK

YES, THANK YOU, I KNOW WHERE THIS FUCKING IS LOL, IT’S NOT LIKE I’VE BEEN OBSESSED WITH FINDING OUT WHAT HAPPENS IN THE REST OF THIS SCENE OR ANYTHING LMAO. BUT ANYWAYS DON’T MIND ME, YOU WERE SAYING??

oh my god oh my god I’m not readyyyyy, but also FUCK YEAH I AM SO FUCKING READY LOL LET’S DO THIS

YOU GUYS

I’M ABOUT TO STEP IN THAT ROOM AND YEET ONE OF THOSE FUCKING CHAIRS AT YOU ALL

NOOOOO

I’M ABOUT TO GRAB BANJOU’S GOGGLES AND STRETCH THEM OUT AND SNAP THEM BACK SO THEY SMACK THE SHIT OUT OF HIS FOREHEAD!!! IT’S WHAT HE DESERVES!!! I’M ABOUT TO MOVE TO JAPAN AND GET A JOB WITH DOORDASH AND FIND OUT WHAT HORIKOSHI LIKES TO ORDER FOR LUNCH SO I CAN BE THE ONE TO DELIVER IT SO THAT WHEN HE OPENS THE DOOR I CAN FINALLY ASK HIM “HEY WHAT THE FUCK” IN PERSON

AHHH NO EVERYBODY SHHHHH STOP TALKING!!!!

SOMEONE PLEASE TELL THAT PERSON SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF THEIR LUNGS IN THE BACKGROUND TO SHUT THE FUCK UP, OH WAIT, THAT’S ME

(」゜ロ゜)」 щ(゜ロ゜щ)

LOL THIS FUCKING ASSHOLE!!! LOOK AT YOU!!! YOU’RE NOT KIRISHIMA OR SHINSOU OR IIDA IN A WIG OR ANYBODY LOL. YOU’RE JUST A DUDE. BROOOOO ABOUT FUCKING TIME, WHAT’S GOOD

I CAN’T SCROLL DOWN AHHHH BUT I HAVE TO BUT IT’S TOO INTENSE AHHHHHHH

I CAN SEE THE TOP OF HIS SPIKY HEAD, IT’S FINALLY THAT TIME AHHHHHHHH OKAY I’M GONNA DO IT HERE GOES

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

IT’S HIM. IT FUCKING REALLY FUCKIGN IS HIM OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. WHY AM I SO SHOCKED LMAO I’M THE ONE WHO’S BEEN SAYING THIS THE WHOLE DAMN TIME LMAO. OH GOD. O H MY FUCKING GOD

well okay then sir. so are you an ~ancestor~ or a Kacchan from another timeline or so what’s your deal then

YOICHI WHO IS YOICHI

YOICHI ALWAYS KNOWS WHAT’S UP. LMAO WHO IS YOICHI

(ETA: I’m going to punch myself in the face lmao. he’s Yoichi. he, the First. that’s his name. name reveal at long last what what!!)

MORE IMPORTANTLY SHOULD I BE IMAGINING NOBU’S VOICE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE LMAO I AM ANYWAY BUT YEAH

(ETA: I actually think he’s going to end up being voiced by Nobuhiko whether he ends up being Kacchan or not, just because it fits right in with the general “identical in almost every way” aesthetic he’s got going on.)

TUMBLR HOW WE LIKING OUR ANGSTY ALTERNATE UNIVERSE KACCHAN?? EVERYONE HATED YOU SO MUCH BEFORE THEY EVEN MET YOU, BUT THEY FORGOT TO CONSIDER THE POSSIBILITY THAT YOU MIGHT BE HOT LMAO WHAT A TWIST

“some bright-eyed brat” oh come on. IT’S GOTTA BE HIM LOL

oh my god you all are probably TIRED AS FUCK of all my screaming but I’M SORRY IMMA HAVE TO DO IT ONE LAST TIME BECAUSE...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

that face. that expression!! THE FACT THAT HE’S OUT HERE OPENING DOORS WITH HIS FEET, LIKE HOLY SHIT!! JUST ADMIT THE JIG IS UP ALREADY

and so they really are the ones who busted First out of his jail cell huh

so how did they know you were in the room?? why did they come and break you out?? and how, pray tell, did they know to get you to transfer OFA to them?? hmmmMMMMMMMM

oh MY GOD

you guys. oh my god. it’s too much. every last bit of it lines up exactly with the Bakuverse theory sdkjfj I’m short-circuiting. it’s really fucking happening oh my lord

HELLO SEXY ALTERNATE UNIVERSE KACCHAN WITH HIS SEXY FUCKING SCAR, FUCK YEAH WE REALLY ARE EATING GOOD THIS CHAPTER

HELL YEAH WE’RE GOING. WE’RE GOING FULL SPEED YOU GUYS. LMAO I’M SO FUCKING HYPED RIGHT NOW I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF WEFKJLDKFFFF

SO, EVERYONE, LET’S RECAP. -- ACTUALLY NO, I STARTED TO WRITE UP A LIST, BUT I IMMEDIATELY REALIZED IT REALLY JUST NEEDS TO GO IN ITS OWN THREAD. SO I MADE IT AND POSTED IT, AND NOW I’M FINISHING UP THIS HOT MESS OF A RECAP POST. SO NOW WE’RE BACK TO THIS ONE FINAL PANEL OF DEKU EATING HIS KATSU ALL SERIOUS

YES SIR. YES SIR, WE GOING, FULL SPEED AHEAD, WHATEVER, IDK WTF IS HAPPENING BUT YES!!

lol, anyways so as I said in my other post, mysterious sexy guys with tragic pasts are what bring us together as a fandom, so whatever your thoughts are on the rest of it, let’s just rejoice in that. it’s what we deserve

#bnha 310 #midoriya izuku #ofa prime #ofa ii #bakugou katsuki #MAYBE??? #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

[wangxianficrecs]

Fic Finder

~*~

1.  Hi, I'm looking for an Untamed fic, maybe you'll be able to help. It's a canon divergence AU in which WWX doesn't lose his core, Jiang Fengmian lives and it's implied that his core was transferred to JC (heavily implied; JFM retires as the Sect Leader after that). This is absolutely not the most important part of this fic but it's a paragraph that I've got stuck in my head and now I'm searching for the rest @_@ Thanks in advance! ~ @otemporaetmores

FOUND! by @notsobabblespace, who was reminded of  I’m aching and I know you are too by edenwolfie (part 3 in series, M, 23k, wangxian)

FOUND!  by @jim-is-spocks-thyla, who suggests ❤️ to arrive late is better than not to arrive at all by Moominmammashandbag (M, 35k, wangxian) [ETA:  Oops, not this one.  JFM has no core, but he didn’t give it to JC]

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2.  Hi Mojo! I’m in need of you/your followers help in finding a fic that I read a little while ago. It was a fic where Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi lived together in Cloud Recesses and their children were Sizhui and an OOC that was younger than him. I remember SiZhui faced a lot of criticism for not being the chief cultivator’s real child? And they were happy he had a younger sibling that would be sect leader in the future because he was blood. Come to think of it, this is probably an ABO fic too. Thanks for your time 💜

FOUND! @andidontmeanto believes this is Blue Blood by PotterheadAvengerDemigod (T, 91k, wangxian, my post)

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3.  Aksks it's like 3 am but I just remembered a fic and I can't find it?? I'd really, really appreciate your help. It was a wangxian fic, maybe a oneshot idk, and lwj was kind of a nerd and wwx a badboy? So basically lwj has a massive crush on him and dresses up like wwx etc. (i think he even got an undercut) and after a party they sleep with each other at lwj's place?

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4.  i’m looking for a fic set in the where lwj’s mother killed his father? i don’t think that was a main plot point but it did show up in his backstory - any idea what this might be? ~ @thehype

FOUND!  @rentslirott thinks this could be ❤️the best of you by sysrae (E, 42k, wangxian, my post)

FOUND!  @castaways-logbook offers  The Right to Care by travelingneuritis (E, 39k, wangxian, WIP)

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5.  ... same as #6 ...

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6.  Hello friend, sorry for the inconvenience but I wanted to see if you could please find me a fic that I lost but I only remember more or less the final part, it goes more or less like this, lan zhan and wei ying are kidnapped by jin guangyao and lock them up if not I'm wrong in some cells next to lan xichen after the fights jin guangyao dies but lan xichen did know how bad jin guangyao had done and he didn't care and then to get revenge he wants to kill wei ying but lan zhan kills him and sizhui gets scared It was more or less like that, please help me ~ @isa0123lol

FOUND!  by @wangxiansfics who says that tragically it’s no longer available, but @dulachodladh found it on WaybackMachine here: Thread and Needle by haysel (M, 86k, wangxian)

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7.  Hi, Mojo! I'm glad that you're back but I hope you enjoyed your time off tumblr! Can you and/or your followers help me find a fic? I think the summary was talking about wwx and somehow they were asking mingjue for help since he's the only one who can help. The summary was in italics and it's a dialogue from some guy? And a shorter summary below. Sadly this is the only thing I can remember but I hope you can still help me

FOUND!  @alwayswenning suggests love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, wangxian, has it’s own fanfic here, I just finished this last night!, my bookmark)

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8.  Sorry to bombard you as soon as you're back, but this one's driving me crazy--a modern AU where they met online. WWX thinks LWJ is an old man from how he talks. I don't remember much except the excerpt made it seem like he still was amused by/enjoyed talking to him, and Wen Qing was telling him it was a bad idea and to stop. It's not How to Fall In Love With a Catfish, tho that one is brilliant! (Also any top notch identity porn would be great) Hope your break was restful, you deserve it! Thanks

Here’s my #identity porn tag, but I’m not sure about this exact story.

I'm the anon for #8 on the fic finder. Though I'm excited to read it, the suggested fic isn't the one I was looking for. I swear I thought I saw it on here around a month ago or slightly more, but searches have failed me.

FOUND!  Rating: General Audiences by Mishaa (T, 18k, wangxian WIP) -  mysterious author LWJ (speculated to be an old man because of his formality) and infamous artist WWX paired up for an Untamed Big Bang (in an AU where JGY was the series’ antiheroic protagonist; this fic was written before the release of CQL.)

FOUND?  could you be looking for  Something Real by Latios (G, 5k, wangxian, my post) - wwx thinks lwj is an old man, but there’s no WQ.  There are many pictures of bunnies.

SIMILAR! @emilysidhe thought of ID Bro Saga by Bowandtie (T, 39k, wangxian)

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9.  Hey, how are you? Could you help me please? I've read 3 fanfics once, but I can't find them anymore. 1 - Nanny Problem, Wei is going to be the babysitter of A-Yuan, he is an omega and Lan is an alpha. 2 - Doctor Perfect, Yibo is an omega nurse and Xiao is an alpha doctor. 3 - The Baby of my Omega, Yibo is omega and Xiao is alpha, both of them are bodyguards, but Yibo has to protect Xiao in the beginning. I think they were at ao3, but I really can't find them. Can you help me please? Thank you!! ~ @weallmad

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10.  Hi! Im happy you’re back. I hope you had a good break. I missed your recommendations, but at the same time i got a break from fics and actually studied to my tests haha.  [Ah!  I’m glad to hear your time was spent productively!]  I’m looking for a fic like Linger in the Sun by etymologyplayground. In the fic im looking for wangxian slowly lose their senses instead of all of them at once. Like they lose their hearing, then touch, sight etc, They can’t see each other or hear each other. I’m sorry i can’t explain very well.

FOUND?  Could you be thinking of  ❤️shadows in the sun rise by Yuu_chi (E, 25k, wangxian)?  Only lwj losese his senses one by one in this one, though.

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11.  heyyy im trying to find this fic where wwx died the first time he was thrown in to the burial mounds then 10 years later he gets resurrected or something. I can't find it on AO3 and it's been bugging me for days. Thank you!

FOUND!  Well, @moku-youbi offers both of these as possibilities:

Did I Not Explain Why the Sunset Turns Red? by 3988Akasha (E, 100k, wangxian)

we're starting at the end by Miss_Enthusiasimal (M, 95k, wangxian)

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12.  Hi I am looking for a fic where wwx is a witch (/mage?) in a world where magic is being persecuted (especially in Gusu) except for Yunmeng/Lanling I think but they're still frowned upon nonetheless. Then after accidentally hurting Shijie, wwx runs away, and ends up hiding in Gusu pretending to be a servant to lwj (lwj is a prince, lxc is the emperor) but lwj actually knows of his identity and tries not-so-discreetly to protect him from being caught. Thanks!

FOUND! by @bibliobasilisk who gives us Witchfinder by misbehavingvigilante (E, 86k, wangxian)

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13.  Hi! Firstly, I'm glad to see you're back, and I hope your break was a good one! I'm trying to find a LWJ/WWX story that I had planned to read and ending up losing before I could. It was set in the immediate aftermath of the 33 lashes, LWJ is in the Jingshi recovering when a healer(?) discovers he's pregnant (by WWX). It may have been a/b/o verse, but I'm not 100% on that. Part of the story was a flashback to when WWX was still alive. Thank you!

FOUND!  by nonny themself.  It’s Unexpected Surprise by Glucose_Gremlin (E, 4k, wangxian)

SIMILAR! @mondelgel suggests my heart is kept as pure as ice in a jade vase/一片冰心在玉壶 by Daledesu (M, 21k, wangxian, WIP)

SIMILAR! from @impending-cuttlefish:  something new, something white, something blue by ariskamalt (E, 140k, wangxian, WIP)

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14.  I'm trying to find this one fic where Jin Ling finds this diary that Wei Ying wrote as the Yiling Patriarch that basically reveals everything, including the golden core reveal and it even has training tips that helps Jon Ling improve. When Wei Ying comes back, he tries everything to keep him there because he is THE best uncle now. I need to find it because it is a N E E D.

FOUND? by @theladypeartree who says, “The Truth (Untold) is jl reading jyl's journals, not wwx's though. And mordant is jl returning wwx's journals that he found, not grew up with. Neither fit #14 properly, but I seriously could not find anything closer after two solid days of searching. Good luck!“

The Truth (Untold) by anxiouswreck0_0 (g, 3k, wangxian, jin ling & wei wuxian)

or this one on ffn:

mordant by tennisnotensai (M, 18k, wangxian, here’s the link for mobile)

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15.  I have heard tell of a Sizhui/Jingyi fic where the boys end up going to Wangxian for advice about how to be intimate. Can you help me find it?

FOUND!  @manaika-chan says this one is On Advisement by LaMachina17 (M, 19k, wangxian, zhuiling, chengyi)

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16.  nm

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17.  Hi! Sorry, do you happen to know that nsfw fic where wwx is still studying in the cloud recesses and he’s reading a novel (im not sure if it was from nhs) that features a cultivator couple and there’s a scene in the book where the woman was pegging her husband? Basically wwx got curious about this and tried fingering himself. I remember he was hiding in the back mountains and then lwj eventually caught him

FOUND?  Could you be thinking of  Deep in the Woods by malkinmalkout (E, 5k, wangxian, my post)?

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18.  Ahhh I'm going crazy trying to think of a fic that I've read where Lan Zhan killed Wen Chao in a locker room and nie huaisang stood guard outside the door! Then lan zhan went to lan huan and said I killed someone and he said did they deserve it? Then it's fine. And I can't remember the name of the fic! Have you heard of it? ~ @uchihaautumn

FOUND! @artemisisdiana offers So Full Of Love (Wouldn't Know Where to Start) by witchupbitch (M, 54k, wangxian, WIP)

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19.  Hi, I was wondering if you could help me find a fic. I read it a while ago and I don't really remember all the details but it was a modern au where Lan Wangji was a police officer in this small town and Wei Wuxian comes back after years, having left the town due to some stuff. Thank you in advance.

Btw love your blog. I live for your fic recs.  [Thank you!]

FOUND?  Could you be looking for medium blues by dark_and_terrible (E,193k,  wangxian)?  It appears to be taken down atm, but it might come back (it’s done it before).

FOUND! by @grannyweatherwaxshat who offers When a Bird Flies, It Leaves Feathers by Bem_Kofi (not rated, 75k, wangxian)

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20.  Hi mojo!! First of all I luv your blog Thank you so much for all those ficrecs.  [You’re welcome!]  Actually I’m looking for a fic I read months ago. I probably found the fic from your blog. But I can’t seem to find it now 😢 it was a modern au wangxian fic (inspired by call me by ur name?) wwx was like 5 years older than lwj. (And lwj was like 16?) Wwx lives in another city but he spent around a year in cloud recesses with lwj in the past. And wwx yanli and jc visits cloud recesses again and wangxian gets 2gether

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[My ko-fi.]

#wangxian fic finder #wangxian #mdzs fic finder #wangxian fic rec

[kaizokuou-ni-naru]

The Voyage So Far: Paramount War (Part Two)

east blue (1 | 2) || alabasta (1 | 2) || skypiea || water 7 || enies lobby || thriller bark || paramount war (1 | 2) || fishman island || punk hazard || dressrosa (1 | 2) || whole cake island || wano (1 | 2)

ace’s execution is, in a way, the exception that proves the rule when it comes to one piece’s themes of blood and family. ace is set up to die for the crimes of a father he never knew and never wanted, and he does die here, but in the end he dies for the family he did choose, in the form of luffy, rather than the one he didn’t. 

god do i wish we knew more about ms portgas d. rouge. with ace’s storyline pretty much wrapped it looks unlikely that we’re going to be learning more about her than what we got, which in my opinion is an absolute tragedy, because what little we do know about her is amazing and she’s an absolute badass. oda give us more female ds please.

whitebeard’s power is so cool. it might be one of the visually coolest devil fruits we’ve ever seen, in my opinion. he he causes earthquakes and tsunamis while far past his prime; he pulls the sky apart with his bare hands. this whole arc is world-shaking, and whitebeard’s power is perfectly appropriate for it. 

doflamingo’s speech on justice and rightness is one of the most well-remembered quotes from this whole saga, and rightly so. i’ve always found it fascinating, myself, because he’s right. he dead-on hits how the one piece world works- the world government and the marines rule the world not because of any inherent actual goodness or justice or right, but because they won a war a very long time ago. 

in a way, this reminds me of blackbeard’s line of “people’s dreams never die” from jaya. i like how oda isn’t afraid of letting his villains be right about the themes of the story, sometimes even having better awareness of them than the protagonists. 

man, if i had to pick a single favorite spread out of the whole manga, it might be luffy’s marineford entrance. it’s so epic, and so completely unexpected for everyone else there. absolutely nobody was expecting strawhat luffy to drop out of the sky with a posse including two former warlords. it just makes me grin!! so much!! 

it also gets followed up by a solid two pages of just people’s reactions, from smoker’s “what the HELL is he doing with CROCODILE” to moria’s immediate incoherent rage, and i just love that the world and cast of one piece is so well-established and built up that we know exactly how all of those people know luffy and why they react the way they do. 

going back to what i mentioned in the last post about marineford being luffy’s conflict of interest arc, i’d say it’s also the only time where he isn’t the future king first and foremost. in this arc, before anything else, he’s a little brother.

there are a lot of what-if moments in marineford. moments where you kind of have to ask “what if this specific thing hadn’t happened, had gone differently?” would things have turned out differently? squard’s betrayal is one of them. does this change the outcome? would whitebeard have been able to survive if not for this injury? there’s no way to know. marineford is a lot of little tragedies, and they just pile up and up.

marineford has just so many incredibly striking spreads. all of the momentous moments (and there’s a lot of them, in this arc) are done full justice. this is such an image heavy post just because marineford is such an incredibly visually strong arc. 

conqueror’s haki is so cool and i love the way it’s set up and built up throughout this saga, with luffy’s constant inadvertent uses of it, from duval’s bull to marigold and sandersonia to the wolves in impel down, all leading up to this moment. 

i’ve heard people complain about conqueror’s as kind of a deus ex machina, but i honestly love it, it’s very cool and honestly i think it just seems to fit luffy as a power. if there was ever gonna be a character who turned willpower into a weapon, it would be monkey d. luffy. 

i’m gonna take this chance to talk about garp, because this sequence of panels is heavily implied to be garp’s thoughts just before luffy punches him down, and it hurts. garp is a flawed person who makes some bad choices, and there’s no arguing that, but i think it’s very obvious he really, really cares about his grandsons, even if he never could understand them as people and that they never would have been happy as marines. and that’s just tragic, really. 

the moment ace gets freed and the brief span of time where he and luffy can fight together feel so triumphant, and i think it’s one of the reasons the final tragedy of marineford hits so hard and feels so cruel, because luffy succeeds, here. he saves ace. he gives absolutely everything he had and makes it, and saves ace. the ultimate failure isn’t his. there was nothing more he could have done. 

the first time i was reading one piece, i hit this page (which is also the last in the volume) and had to put the book away, take the bus downtown, wander around for a few hours, and buy myself some candy and some new books before i started feeling okay again.

the thing about ace’s death, i think, is that it’s a tragedy, but it also feels so completely essential to the story going forwards and luffy’s character growth specifically that it’s really, really hard to imagine one piece without it. there are a lot of (really excellent!) fix-fics out there for marineford, and although those are often really good and their authors super talented, i think it’s really hard for them to ever hit the same way canon does with regards to this. 

i always think of this scene specifically in contrast to zoro and mihawk’s fight, back on baratie. zoro and mihawk are both people who believe in honor in battle, true victory or death, and that’s reflected in their fight, in zoro’s refusal to turn and run even in the face of imminent death, and mihawk’s respect for that resolve. whitebeard, too, is an honorable man. he refuses to turn to run, even when facing certain death. 

the blackbeard pirates, however, are not. 

i do enjoy how, just like roger’s, ace’s execution backfires tremendously on the marines. this was entirely a predictable outcome, too! this exact thing happened twenty years ago! the marines don’t learn. they don’t change. they’re so assured of their own rightness and power that they make stupid mistakes like holding a massive public execution after the last one blew up in their faces. 

(this is why they need coby so badly, for the record, and why it’s important that he still decides to become a marine after witnessing their corruption firsthand in shells town. the marines are long overdue for a reformation, one that orients them towards real justice.)

i really, really enjoy crocodile in this saga. mostly because he hasn’t been redeemed at all, he’s still pretty much the exact same kinda awful person he was in alabasta, he’s just on luffy’s side this time, and it lets us see him in a better light, when he gets angry at whitebeard for nearly dying or when he helps luffy and jinbe escape to keep the marines from getting their way. few of one piece’s characters are truly so one-dimensional as they can seem, and i really appreciate that. 

i really really love all the interactions between luffy, ace and sabo as kids. they’re so fun and bounce off of each other so well. even though we only see them together for a brief time, they really feel like siblings. (which of course only makes later events hurt so much more.

i’ve always been a little fascinated by the fact that it takes us this long to get luffy’s full backstory. it’s almost a fakeout, because we get part of his backstory in the very first chapter, and we’re kind of led to believe that’s all there is. it’s not until ace’s introduction nearly two hundred chapters in that we’re given any indication there’s more.

but at the same time, it makes sense. marineford is luffy’s focus arc, as arlong park to nami or thriller bark to brook. he hasn’t had a focal arc that’s really about him before this, while all his other crewmates have. it makes sense that this would be when he finally gets his flashback. 

i think it’s cool that dragon and the revolutionaries show up at the grey terminal fire, because it’s one of the only looks we’ve gotten so far into what their actual regular operations are like. and, of course, they’re saving people. i really like this about the revolutionaries, that helping people in trouble is basically their modus operandi, when pretty much everyone else in one piece’s world mostly does saving on an incidental basis if at all. 

i think a lot about how the last line of sabo’s letter to ace is also both of their last words to the strawhats. 

death in one piece always feels much realer and more impactful to me than in most other series, and i think this is part of the reason why: in one piece, we are always shown the mourning. nami at bellemere’s grave, carrot grieving pedro, ace and whitebeard’s funeral. 

there are fewer deaths, comparatively, than most other series, but they’re given so much room to echo. we’re still feeling the impacts of ace’s life and death in the most recent chapters of wano. it ties into the theme of inherited will and all the way back to hiriluk’s final speech, of men not being dead so long as they’re remembered. 

the picture of luffy at marineford always kind of strikes me. he looks so young and so solemn, and yet much more himself than he did when we last saw him losing his mind on amazon lily. i really like it. 

sometimes i just think about the sheer depth of trust and love the strawhats must have in each other to separate for two years, far longer than they were ever together, to solely dedicate themselves to improving for the sake of crew and captain. none of them even hesitate, and none of them ever doubt that the crew will be reformed at the end of it.

after all, luffy keeps his promises. 

#the voyage so far #one piece #opmeta #not japanese #arc: marineford #arc: post marineford #long post

[tiramisiyu]

【未定事件簿】 Tears of Themis: Main Story 7-20 Translation

Translation Masterlist | Video

Chapter 7 – Rains of Monte Cristo: 7-1 / 7-3 / 7-5 / 7-7 / 7-9 / 7-11 / 7-13 / 7-15 / 7-17 / 7-19  ♦️ ♦️  7-20 / 7-22 / 7-24 / 7-26 / 7-28 / 7-30 / 7-32 / 7-34 / 7-35

NXX Base

It was yet another new day. In the NXX base, Artem was updating the case information for Simon. After completing upload of the video recording, he had a sudden moment of absentmindedness.

Artem: I wonder how she’s faring…

He looked at the common screen on the side. On the massive Stellis map, faintly-flashing markers indicated the other NXX members.

Luke’s marker was in a certain spot in the north district, at the location of the assistive team he’d mentioned before. Vyn’s marker was moving rapidly, most likely towards the house of a “special respondent”. And the markers indicating Marius and MC had been at Yaofu Community for a while.

Artem: Yaofu Community?...

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Yaofu Community

In Yaofu Community, Marius and I were prepping to perform the second crime scene reenactment.

MC: (Good thing luck’s on our side. We found a residence with the exact same layout beside Hang Fei and Qi Yu’s.)

As for why Marius and I were doing our second reenactment, it had to do with our discussion at the natural park earlier.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

[Flashback]

Natural Park

Marius: Awesome. With this video, our investigation can take a huge step forward.

MC: Then how about we take this opportunity to organize our thoughts?

Marius: Sure.

MC: First, starting from Wang Chunchong…

MC: What he was deliberately hiding before was his murder of Simon. And he hid this because…

Marius: Easy. All else aside, Wang Chunchong’s innocent in the Hang Fei and Qi Yu case, at the very least.

Marius: If the police didn’t know that Wang Chunchong had murdered Simon, then when they were investigating Yaofu Community…

Marius: Wang Chunchong could be acquitted.

Marius: But on the flip side, if the police knew that Simon’s case had to do with him, even if the Yaofu Community case ended…

Marius: Wang Chunchong would not be able to walk out of jail.

MC: Yes.

MC: Although after figuring this out, a bunch of new questions come up.

MC: First, why would Wang Chunchong murder Simon?

Marius: Could it have to do with Tyson? The timing of Simon’s murder and the timing of when Wang Chunchong and Tyson started to work together is very close.

Marius: Wait, if that’s the case, then when Wang Chunchong said “Something that only I, Tyson, and a dead person know about”…

MC: It’s probably about the Heirson raw materials!

Marius: Looks like our investigation was a great success this time!

MC: Next, the second question is, who wanted to frame Wang Chunchong with this case?

Marius: Someone who wanted to frame Wang Chunchong must have known about his plan to murder Simon.

Marius: Someone like that… Tyson? Hang Jiahe? Could Xu Yin be a possibility?

MC: No, I don’t think Xu Yin’s a possibility.

MC: She’s only aiming for Wang Chunchong’s shares and spot on the board of directors, so she should be the one who least wants something to happen to him.

Marius: But it doesn’t seem like Tyson has any motive to murder Hang Fei or Qi Yu either…

MC: That being so, Hang Jiahe is really suspicious.

MC: But we need proof to back that up.

MC: Why would Hang Jiahe murder Hang Fei and Qi Yu, and why would she frame Wang Chunchong…

MC: Plus, how did Wang Chunchong’s fingerprints appear on the murder weapon, and how did Hang Fei and Qi Yu’s DNA appear in the suitcases…

MC: We’ve got to figure those out.

Marius: Then how about we do another round of crime scene reenactment? We still have another trail of actions that we haven’t analyzed yet, right?

MC: You mean, how the victims were murdered?

Marius: That’s right. Since the clue that the police have was used by the true murderer to frame Wang Chunchong…

Marius: If we reenact the process of the crime as judged by the police, we’ll sure to find some parts that don’t match up.

Marius: These parts that don’t match up just might help us.

[Flashback end]

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

After, we handed the video to the police. After viewing the video, the police overturned the charges against Wang Chunchong and began investigation anew. Darius thanked us, then reminded us to contact him as early as possible if we found anything else.

MC: The exact course of action inferred by the police before was…

MC: Wang Chunchong brought food laced with G24D and knocked on the door for Room 1001, pretending to want to apologize.

MC: After entering, the three people ate at the bar table. After, Hang Fei and Qi Yu fell unconscious due to the drugs.

MC: He moved the two to the ground, cushioned them with sofa cushions, then struck the victims’ heads multiple times.

Marius: Then let’s reenact things in this order.

Marius: I’ll play Wang Chunchong, you play Hang Fei.

MC: Sure.

Marius walked out the door, holding the bag of food from the table. I set up the camera.

Marius: Let’s start.

MC: Yep.

Marius closed the door.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

The doorbell rang.

Hang Fei: Who is it?

Wang Chunchong: Me.

Hang Fei opened the door.

Hang Fei: Ah, it’s Chunchong. Come on in.

Wang Chunchong: …

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Midway, Marius stopped.

MC: What’s the matter? Why aren’t you coming in?

Marius: Uh, jiejie, your acting isn’t quite right.

MC: ???

Marius: Think about it. Considering how many times Wang Chunchong and Hang Fei fought, would Hang Fei treat Wang Chunchong that nicely?

Marius: Would he let Wang Chunchong in that easily?

MC: True, how did I forget about that?

Marius: So, you’ve got to be a little ruder, a little more aggressive.

Marius: Bring on your professional lawyer’s attitude.

MC: Okay.

I nodded solemnly.

Marius: Then, I’ll start again.

MC: Sure.

The door closed again. I took a deep breath and lowered my voice.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

The doorbell rang again.

Hang Fei: Who are you?

Wang Chunchong: Me.

Hang Fei: Who are you?

Wang Chunchong: Wang Chunchong.

Hang Fei opened the door.

Hang Fei: Master Wang, what brings you here?

Wang Chunchong: What else? It’s obviously for my marriage with Jiahe.

Hang Fei: Marriage? Now you know to bring up marriage.

Hang Fei: Weren’t you pretty stubborn the past few times? Didn’t you say that I was extorting you of your Wang family’s money?

Hang Fei: Wanna try bringing up marriage now? Too late.

Wang Chunchong: …

Wang Chunchong: You’re right, it’s all my fault. So I came here to apologize.

Wang Chunchong handed his bag to Hang Fei.

Wang Chunchong: This is the signature dish from that restaurant you love. See it as a compensatory gift from me.

Hang Fei: You want to make me give in with just this…?

Hang Fei snatched the bag away.

Hang Fei: Let me make things clear. If you don’t double the betrothal gift, I won’t let my daughter marry you.

Wang Chunchong: I know. I came today to talk about this.

Wang Chunchong: Uncle Hang, you see…

Wang Chunchong scanned the area.

Wang Chunchong: Let’s not talk about the betrothal gift under the eyes of the masses – you know, not letting outsiders in on this.

Wang Chunchong: How about we talk inside?

Hang Fei: … Come in, then.

Hang Fei let Wang Chunchong in and closed the door.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

I let Marius in, then turned around, nearly ramming into him.

MC: Marius, why aren’t you walking in?

Marius: I was thinking, if Wang Chunchong really entered Room 1001 under the apology pretext…

Marius: With his personality while facing someone like Hang Fei, he must have been suppressing his emotions hard that day.

Marius: If that’s the case, Hang Jiahe must be “extremely important” to Wang Chunchong.

MC: But other possibilities exist, like…

Marius and I looked at each other.

MC & Marius: The one who came wasn’t Wang Chunchong at all.

Marius: If the one who came was someone who was more familiar with Hang Fei and Qi Yu, then not only could they avoid the cumbersome entrance process earlier…

MC: Hang Fei and Qi Yu also wouldn’t be resistant to them, and would thus be easier to act against.

Marius: …

MC: …

MC: Marius, let’s continue with our reenactment. Maybe we’ll get more clues.

MC: After, let’s focus on reenacting each person’s actions and not bother with unnecessary dialogue.

Marius: Sure.

Marius took the bag in my hand and walked to the bar table on the side of the room.

Marius: After entering, Wang Chunchong recommended that Hang Fei and Qi Yu try the food he’d brought.

Marius placed the bag on a plate on the bar counter. I sat beside him, pretending to scoop food up.

MC: After eating the food, Hang Fei and Qi Yu rapidly fell unconscious due to G24D.

Marius: Wang Chunchong dragged them onto the ground, and then…

Marius’s empty carrying movements suddenly stopped.

Marius: Something’s wrong.

MC: What?

Marius: There was no need for Wang Chunchong to drag them onto the floor.

MC: Why?

Marius: I’ll show you.

Marius returned to the bar table, chose an empty seat, and made a few gestures to indicate a person bent over, face down.

Marius: If an unconscious Hang Fei were theoretically sitting on this chair…

Marius: After confirming his unconsciousness, I could already make my move.

Marius: Taking one step back, if the murderer theoretically thought that striking the back of the head didn’t guarantee the damage well enough, they would just need to turn the chair around.

Marius: That way, Hang Fei would go from being bent over to laying his head on the table, and the front of his head would be on full display.

Marius: They could’ve made their move then, too.

Marius: The more the movements when committing the crime, the more they’ll probably leave traces.

Marius: So I have no idea why Wang Chunchong would bother moving the victims to the floor.

MC: …

MC: If there’s no subjective reason, could there be an objective reason?

MC: Like, maybe something unexpected happened?

I copied Marius’ actions, trying to act in a way that wouldn’t require me to move the bodies. But when I turned the chair around so that the “bodies”’ heads could face me, I noticed where the issue was.

MC: I know why they had to move the bodies.

Marius: ???

MC: There’s a prerequisite to what you just described – your height.

MC: As you’re tall enough, you can strike the victims while they are on the chairs.

MC: But to me, these chairs and table are somewhat high. If the victims are still sitting on them…

MC: Doing this under these conditions would be extremely uncomfortable, and it would be hard to guarantee my accuracy.

MC: But moving them to the floor would make everything much easier.

Marius: Wang Chunchong’s around my height. Based on this…

MC: That’s right. The murderer shouldn’t be Wang Chunchong – it must be a female of average height or a smaller male.

Marius: Looks like someone’s even more suspicious.

MC: Yes, but let’s go through everything, just in case.

Marius nodded. He walked to an empty area, pretended to take a sofa cushion, then acted out striking motions.

Marius: Wang Chunchong grabbed a hammer at random from the nearby toolbox, murdered Hang Fei and Qi Yu, and then…

Marius: He cleaned up the crime scene and decided to dispose of the corpses.

Marius: Thus, he brought the bodies to his house via fire escape and got two…

MC: Stop.

Marius: What’s the matter?

MC: There were already suitcases in Room 1001 – plus, they were ones used by Hang Fei and Qi Yu.

MC: If they used these two suitcases, even if the police detected the victims’ DNA in them after, they’d deem it as normal.

MC: Why would he expend such effort to move the bodies and use his own suitcases? Isn’t this more likely to leave clues of his actions?

MC: Plus, Wang Chunchong still hasn’t thrown out those two suitcases.

Marius: …

Marius: Wait, didn’t you say before that Hang Fei’s blood was detected in the suitcases in Room 1001?

MC: Yeah, what…

MC: Marius, do you mean that the suitcases used to discard the bodies were actually the ones in room 1001?

Marius nodded.

MC: If so, someone must have placed the victims’ DNA in Wang Chunchong’s suitcase deliberately…

MC: When would it have been?

MC: Also, if our guess about the suitcases is true, the whole crime must have happened in Room 1001.

Marius: Looks like we’ve got to return to the crime scene.

#Tears of Themis #tears of themis translations #zuo ran #lu jinghe #artem wing #marius von hagen #未定事件簿 #switching over to using english names now #though i'm still using cn names when rambling about whatever

[itmighthavebeenintentional]

Shadows and Pills - 2

Summary: Some people come away from the Battle of New York with scars and broken bones. Some come away with nightmares and years of therapy ahead of them. Some don’t come away at all. Alexa comes away with a shadow.

18+ ONLY, MINORS DO NOT PROCEED

Warnings: RAPE, Torture, Abuse, Self Harm, Negative Images of Psychological Services/Mental Health Professionals, Hallucinations, Stalking, Supernatural Horror, Prescription Drug Use and Eventual Abuse, Mental Illness, PTSD, Flashbacks of Violence, Flashbacks of Tragedy, Starving Oneself, Isolation, Physical and Mental Exhaustion, Denial, Self Neglect, Gaslighting, Mental Spiraling, Mental and Emotional Abuse

18+ ONLY, MINORS DO NOT PROCEED

Author’s Note: This is not a happy story in any sense, at any point. I could only write this at my lowest places, emotionally and mentally speaking, and I had a hard time coming back from it. This is dark, and it does not at any point get lighter. I relied heavily on my own experiences with mental struggles and took a few pieces here and there from my own experiences with mental health professionals. MY EXPERIENCES ARE MY OWN AND ARE NOT TYPICAL, NOT EVEN FOR ME. If you need mental help of any kind, please DO NOT HESITATE TO REACH OUT TO GET IT. This story was an exercise in mental exorcism, in a sense.

For all the Loki lovers out there, I do not shine him anything like a good or redeeming light here. He is evil incarnate, more or less. I love Loki, I love good Loki and redeemed Loki and misunderstood Loki and just about every incarnation thereof. I needed a villain, and he fit the story.

Above all, please be kind. This was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever written, and it took me years to work up the courage to post it.

A massive thank you to all my friends for support, especially to @glassjacket and @thoughtslikeaminefield . I say it a lot, but you need to know I love you.

18+ ONLY, MINORS DO NOT PROCEED

Word Count: 1 - 3785; 2 - 3513; 3 - 1068

In Case You Missed It: Part 1 ItMightHaveBeenIntentional’s Masterlist

...

Shadows and Pills

2

Morning Routine: Already woken up. Shut off alarm with a shriek of terror by heaving it across the room with enough force that it shatters against the wall. Breathing exercises for thirty minutes to lower accelerated heart rate. Shower until the hot water is long gone and hypothermia is close to setting in, but she still can’t get clean. The thick, mucus-like sensation won’t leave her skin, glue and ashes spread thick over her flesh in a foul assault to her tactile senses that leaves her dizzy and faint if she considers it for too long. Throw out every scrap of food in the apartment; just the sight of it makes her gag and retch. Choke down the meds (the only thing she can stomach, at this point). Throw on clothes she’s mostly sure are on the correct end of her body. Grab her keys, and…

Where…

She always puts her keys in the same spot. Dish on the tiny table by the door. That’s her key dish. She knows she put them there. They are always there. She can remember putting them there; it’s one of the precious few things she knows she can do right these days.

So…

Why aren’t they there?

Thirty minutes turning the entire apartment upside down looking for the keys, ignoring the shadow that follows her from room to room, skittering to a far wall whenever the shadow runs too near, pretending that she is still alone, searching, searching, where the hell are they, I always put them in the dish, I know I dropped them in there, I can hear the clink from when I put them away yesterday where could they possibly have got to it’s not like THEY’D WANDER OFF BY THEMSELVES WHERE ARE MY GODDAMNED KEYS-

A searing, ripping pain tears her from her spiraling thoughts and back to the present where her hands are clenched in her hair, her nails dug into her scalp, and something slick and hot slides between her fingers. She releases her clenched fists, but her fingers come away smeared with blood and clumps of hair, and her shoulders begin to tremble, her mouth quivering and eyes stinging with unshed tears.

“I just...need my keys. I need to breathe. I need my keys. I need-”

<clink>

Her head whips toward the sound, and there they are. In their dish. In the same dish she knows she left them in last night. Where they absolutely were not sitting seconds ago.

“But. I didn’t. They-“

No.

She snatches her keys and flees, followed closely by her personal nightmare.

...

The silence stretches out longer than even Alexa is comfortable with. The constant scratching of the doctor’s pen has quieted, and still Alexa sits, unnerved but unwilling to speak without direction. Answering questions is fine, but if she speaks on her own, she’ll start babbling. And there are a few things she needs to not say.

Like how she’s averaging about an hour of sleep a night, according to her clock. The nightmares start every time she falls asleep. She remembers less and less about any of them, to the point where the only way she knows she was even asleep is the inevitable rip back to consciousness.

And she’s not just missing parts of her dreams. Her days are beginning to blur, individual moments bleeding into others until she’s lost whole chunks of time, hours that are a smear in her memory with no real details. The loss, both of her days and nights, shakes her more than the lack of sleep. What else is she losing, along with her memory?

She can’t tell him why she’s wearing a hat or how she has to set reminders on her phone to stop tearing at her hair, how she has to clean her scalp and hold pressure at least once a day to stop the bleeding and try to repair the damage done by digging nails and ripped follicles.

She can’t tell him about how she can’t look in mirrors anymore. Two days ago, she was brushing her hair out into a ponytail with the intention of wrapping it into a skull-aching bun that might help hold everything inside her head and maybe possibly help her keep her fingers out of her hair, and then suddenly the eyes looking back out at her weren’t her own. Brown bled into ice blue then green in a flash; a wicked, cruel smile curved her lips, and she could feel herself smile, but she wasn’t smiling, and-

So, no, she shouldn’t lead the conversation today. Today Alexa needs a little guidance.

She feels the doctor’s gaze, but there’s less scrutiny than usual. His eyes feel a little more sympathetic than she’s used to, but she still won’t look up. He’s good at getting her to talk, and she needs every ounce of self-control just to keep herself held together and not exploding across his polished, pristine desk.

“Alexa, you don’t look like you’re...How have y-”

She must look pretty wretched if even the doctor is at a loss for words. She wouldn’t know. She has actively avoided all reflective surfaces for two days and has no idea of the state of her appearance. She can’ remember the last time she ate. What’s left of her hair is tucked under a knit cap; she’s cold all the time now, anyway, so the cap is a constant accessory. And it helps keep her hands out of her hair. If her looks are anything as bad as the state of her thoughts-

“I’m sorry it’s so bad for you right now.”

The statement is quiet, sincere, and wholly unexpected. Alexa almost drops her guards, almost meets his eyes. Her hands quake with the effort of maintaining her silence, clutching the edges of her chair with aching, creaking fingers. Her control is as brittle as her nerves; she wants to share, wants to not be alone with the shadow that’s her only company these days, but if the doctor knew…

“Are you sleeping anymore at all?”

She nods once, a sharp, staccato gesture that leaves out more than it says. It’s not a lie. One hour, however broken up in however many fragments, is still one hour, and sleep is still sleep.

“Are you following your medication schedule?”

Another single dip of her chin. She gives herself a little credit for not leaving anything out of this answer. She’s even remembering to follow the dosage increases. Maybe even a couple of increases of her own. Anything to numb, to shut out, to keep...it...away.

“Alexa, are you still with me?”

God, she wishes...everything feels muffled and thick, like her existence is coated in petroleum jelly. She's just so tired, and everything is so heavy and...and difficult…

“I can’t help you if you won’t communicate with me. Help me help you. Anything. Just the basic facts.”

Where to even start? Maybe getting locked up would be worth it if he really can help, can really make this...stop…

“I can ease your pain and get you on your feet again.”

She’s pretty sure nothing can help at this point, so really there’s no need to keep anything back. Being hospitalized can’t be any worse than living like this…

“Relax. Can you show Me where it hurts?”

No.

...no...not here, not…

“Your lips are moving, but I can’t hear what you’re saying. Is there something you wish to confess? The good doctor can’t reach you now, but I am ready to receive your prayers. Speak, Alexa. Tell Me everything.”

Get out, get OUT, I have to go, I can’t, you can’t this isn’t - GET OUT!

“ALEXA! Wake up! You’re safe! Come back!”

Fingers, firm in their grip, but warm and clean and so very present, clench around her hand, pulling her out of her mind and back to the office. The rushing noise in her ears fades until she realizes it is the heaving of her own panicked breaths. She clenches her fingers, catching the doctor’s hand before he can pull away.

She hasn’t touched another person since she left the hospital.

“Please...I just need...a minute.”

He sits in the chair closest to her, holding her hand resolutely, despite any personal protocols to the contrary that he has demonstrated in previous sessions.

“As long as you need.” There is no eagerness, no exasperation, only concern and calm, and it soothes her raw nerves in a way nothing else has. She focuses on the warmth, the sheer thereness of his grip, and breathes, squinting her eyes against the afternoon sun filtering through the blinds.

Too bright, too warm, too…

The fingers in her palm chill suddenly, their embrace tightening painfully. Her hand feels slick, not with sweat, and her teeth begin to chatter. Her eyes squeeze shut as her stomach shatters, and a pitiful mewling escapes her lungs.

“Take all the time you need. I possess the patience of millenia.”

Breathe. Breathe slowly, you’re asleep. You’re exhausted, you just fell asleep. Wake yourself up. You can do this. Just...just breathe and wake up.

And then her hand is free of all contact, and the air in her lungs comes easily. The warmth of the filtered sun returns to her frozen limbs, not overly bright in the least.

“I think our session was particularly productive today.”

The therapist's voice comes from farther away, and she opens her eyes to find him back at his desk, pen in hand, legal pad full of fresh notes. She blinks, swallows, and sits up a little straighter.

“You seem to be making excellent progress with your strategies. Go ahead and up your dosage to the next step. Remember, I’ll be out of town on Thursday and Monday, so I’ll see you again in ten days. You have the emergency number if anything goes wrong?”

She nods numbly, unable to process anything beyond the basic requirements of behavior needed at the moment. He eyes her, his forehead wrinkling in sudden concern.

“Don’t hesitate to call that number at any hour,” he finally says, his fingers steepled to show just how serious, how sincere, he is. “Anything at all, whatever you need to talk about, call that number. The nurse will transfer you immediately if it’s an emergency. Will you call if you need to?”

She nods, a little more vaguely than she intends but her throat is paralyzed, her tongue nerveless and useless. He accepts the gesture at face value, though, and dismisses her with wishes for “continued progress and a good weekend.”

…

Afternoon routine: Stay out as late as possible, put off the inevitable. Stay out all goddamned night if she has to. There’s no point in voluntarily returning home; she knows this with a sense of dread as acute and sharp as the pain in her scalp. So she shuffles on, unseeing and unseen in the city that never sleeps, one of a numberless mass who denies reality for the sanity that fantasy provides, pretending that she isn’t being stalked, that she isn’t haunted by a continuous loop of ghosts and flashbacks of the dead from that day reminding her over and over that she survived while they didn’t, that she must remember them, that she isn't losing her mind, that the shadow isn’t constantly whispering to her, commanding her over and over and over to simply let go.

She pretends that she isn’t blacking out and waking to find herself in bed, night after night, in the midst of torment and debasement that her ragged mind can neither handle nor shut out. The shadow rips at her in a thousand ways, and she feels all of them, every shred of her consciousness pulled apart and examined and manipulated until she can’t remember who she was before this fundamental desecration.

Release yourself. I can break you completely, help you forget the pain and the misery. Let Me shatter you, remake you in My Glory. Only then can you truly be free from pain.

She fights. It’s all she has left, this battle of wills, and she clings to the tattered bits of her remaining self with a tenacity that impresses even the shadow.

How you shine, even in My darkness. Let me turn your burn to an icy one, let Me freeze your pain, let go and drift in My adoration. I shall raise you up; only grant Me entrance, give Me leave, and I will bless you, bring meaning and solace to your piteous existence.

God help her, she’s starting to slip. She just wants everything to end. No one will miss her, no one is depending on her. The only noise her phone has made in weeks are the reminders that she has set. She hasn’t sent in an assignment for nearly a month, and no one has so much as emailed. What is she holding on for, anyway?

You have fought so long and so hard. I can reward your valor, provide you a balm for your suffering. I will keep you safe from pain, from truth, from choice, from other poison devils. I can take the very memories from you, just as I did before, save you from yourself.

What?

And then her mind is flooded with a scene, a memory of the attack, but she sees it from outside herself, as if watching a film with herself as protagonist. She flees as debris falls all around, narrowly missing pipes, concrete, and office furniture as it rains down mindlessly, destroying life after life. By the time she reaches the ground floor of the stairwell, everyone is packed tight and covered with blood, dust, unspeakable filth, and the wretched crowd bursts into the lobby in a blind panic. They reach the street in the same state and turn as one to flee in the direction of least resistance.

Alone in the crowd, Alexa is jerked to a halt, nearly losing her feet as bodies plow around and nearly through her, but she is frozen as if glued to the pavement. There is no safety anywhere. A battle rages around them, monsters everywhere, incomprehensible and terrible, and then the glass lobby doors behind them explode, and Alexa knows the brief but exhilarating sensation of flight.

And then she crashes, and she knows the timeless and terrible sensation of fire. And pain. And crushing weight.

Watching the scene passively, she remembers everything, she feels everything even as her other self does, but now she is also an outside witness to the anguish. She knows the lines of suffering etched on her face and knows that she wears them even now. She feels the words echoing through her mind from that day, a thought, a plea, a silent prayer to someone, anyone who can help, can end her suffering.

How long...minutes...hours...years...just help, please…please, I don't care how anymore, just...end it.

And then a figure drops from the heavens, it seems, falling from one of the monsters’ flying vehicles, and it crosses the street and sidewalk as if drawn straight to her by the waning strength of her silent screams.

An impossibly cold hand grasps hers, pulling her up from the rubble, sliding her from underneath the bits of building as if they aren't present and pressing the life from her, bringing her face to face with darkness. The sun dissolves, shadows descend, and she decides that, as deaths go, hers could be worse.

She is lifted as if she weighs nothing, the fingers pressing into her face. A bitter, gelid frost flows through her veins, and the pain is mercifully dulled, lessened to a mere phantom, and then the god (for surely her savior can be no less to have such power at hand) pulls her into an icy, terrible embrace.

I find Myself in need of a conduit. Grant Me some small space of sanctuary, and in return I shall heal your broken body. Allow Me entrance, now, woman, before you depart this plane entirely. I am your God, your only chance of salvation. Do you accept Me?

His voice is black velvet, midnight shadows slipping across the moon, and she can’t find the will to say no. Giving in is so much easier, hurts so much less, and she feels as if she’s been hurting forever, spent her whole life being crushed to death.

“Yes.”

His lips press to her, but there is nothing tender in the kiss. Ice, death, absence rushes into her, infecting a small fraction of every cell, sinking deep into her psyche before erasing all remembrance of its presence.

Alexa thrashes under the weight of the memories, the weight of the phantom debris crushing her down, only to find the man, the god himself lies atop her, pinning her emaciated form to her ruined sheets. His pale skin glows in the night, his ebony hair falling around their faces in an blasphemous mimicry of a halo. His painful beauty rips one last thing loose within her, and she remembers.

I would that you should allow Me leave to heal you once more, to form you into a proper vessel. I shall alleviate your anguish, and you may sink into My worship with euphoric, blissful abandon.

She is tempted, more so than any other time in her existence. She thought her imprisonment under the shattered building was horrible, but now she knows true torment. And yet, she resists.

Why do you continue to battle? You cannot prevail, and submission will bring you such pleasure as you have never known. Am I not your own personal God to worship? Do you not wish to drown in My blessing, to submerge yourself in My oblivion?

But he is the author of her suffering, as well, this would-be god who attacked her city, killed thousands of people for his ambitions and family squabbles. Who is she to tarnish the world’s grief for her own personal relief?

But he knows what is in her heart and her thoughts; it was there he planted the seed that has grown to strangle her sanity and reality, and he sends pressure through the roots of this vine to dig into her very soul. She shivers beneath him with wordless agony.

His face presses against hers, tongue snaking out to trace a tear track up her cheek, back to its source. Frozen lips ghost over her clenched eyelids, and she swallows the miserable moan that rolls up from her stomach.

I saved you once when I could so easily have allowed you to continue your half-life under the rubble until your flame sputtered and died, as it was meant to. And I shall show Myself once more a merciful, benevolent God. For you, My pet, a gift.

And suddenly there is a space in Alexa’s mind, a blank where something, someone, important once lived, someone vital stripped away. She gets a last glimpse of a smiling woman, proudly showing off a photo of a swaddled infant, of a filing cabinet collapsing, of a curling hand, before Brenda is ripped from her mind like so many strands of hair from her scalp. The pain of Brenda’s death, the horror of her last moments, yes, but also every bit of the love between them.

And then the name is gone, too.

Have I pleased you? Do you see now what relief can be had with submission?

“That...wasn’t...she wasn't yours to take-” But even the memory of the violation is fading, leaving only breathless, panicked horror and dull, aching want in its wake.

The shadowed god frowns, displeasure pressed into every line of his face, and his fingers tighten until the bones in Alexa’s wrists shriek in protest.

Must I nail Myself to a cross or rip out My eye to be worthy of your reverence? I grant you one more gift, then, of choice. One day to consider. Embrace My oblivion freely, willingly, joyously, as you know you should, and feel My pleasure. Or suffer in your belief that this pale, pointless realm offers you anything like what I can give. This shall be My last offering. Submission is sweetest when freely given, but so, too, can I revel in seizing what you so stubbornly withhold.

His lips seal over hers, stealing air and screams alike, and she feels him everywhere at once, emphasizing his threat, his promise. Her traitorous flesh, craving any tourniquet to stem the endless flow of pain, cleaves to his frozen form, curving against his body in a mockery of love making that leaves her stomach heaving.

And then he is gone. His presence, his pressure, his shadow, even his laugh lingers, but his form vanishes with her next thought. She falls from the bed, a perspiring, retching, wailing mess. There is nothing left within her to eject, but her digestive tract makes a resounding effort.

It’s hours until the sun comes up, and she counts every second from where she shivers, wedged tight between the bed and the nightstand. ...

3 (end)

#dark loki #loki fic #mcu #loki #din djarin/f!reader #shadows and pills #rape #captivity #abuse #self harm #negative images of psychological servieces #negative representation of mental health professionals #hallucinations #stalking #supernatural horror #prescription drug use #prescription drug abuse #flashbacks of violence #flashbacks of tragedy #starving oneself #mental exhaustion #denial #self neglect #isolation #physical exhaustion #mental spiraling #mental abuse #horror

[terramythos]

TerraMythos 2021 Reading Challenge - Book 16 of 26

Title: Tales From Earthsea (Earthsea Cycle #5) (2001)

Author: Ursula K. Le Guin

Genre/Tags: Fantasy, Short Story Collection, Novella, Third-Person, Female Protagonist 

Rating: 8/10 (note: this is an average)

Date Began: 7/2/2021

Date Finished: 7/6/2021

Tales From Earthsea is a collection of five short stories and novellas which take place in the Earthsea universe. In addition, there’s a supplementary timeline of Earthsea’s history, tradition, and cultural details of note. The last story in the collection, Dragonfly, serves as a bridge between Tehanu (#4) and The Other Wind (#6), the final book in the series. 

Of the five stories, my favorites (both 10/10s) were The Finder and On The High Marsh.

The way one does research into nonexistent history is to tell the story and find out what happened. I believe this isn’t very different from what historians of the so-called real world do. Even if we are present at some historic event, do we comprehend it— can we even remember it— until we can tell it in a story? 

Content warnings, individual ratings/commentary, and spoilers below the cut.

Content warnings for the book: Death and violence, child abuse (including implied sexual abuse), police brutality, slavery, reference to torture and execution, brief reference to inc*st, misogyny, animal cruelty, mild body horror, very brief implied mind control via a "love charm" (it doesn't work).

#1 - The Finder (10/10)

In The Dark Time, magic is widely mistrusted. Petty tyrants use the once noble art in pursuit of power and glory. Medra, the son of a shipwright in Havnor, has magical talents honed in secret. One day, he curses a ship built for a warlord’s fleet. Unfortunately, he gets caught and sent to a prison camp. There he is forced to use finding magic to locate veins of cinnabar.

The prison exists to refine quicksilver, a substance the most powerful mage on the island believes will turn him into a god. While in the refinery, Medra feels a spiritual connection to a dying slave, a young woman named Anieb. The two of them devise a plan to kill the mage and escape. Medra’s journey eventually takes him to the island of Roke and the founding of its prestigious wizard school. 

‘The dead are dead. The great and mighty go their way unchecked. All the hope left in the world is in the people of no account.’ 

I really enjoyed this novella. The Dark Time is largely unexplored in the stories of Earthsea, so it was interesting to read about it here. I get the feeling that we’re approaching or in the middle of one such time in the real world, so seeing a version of it on the page is depressing yet hopeful. The story is dark; mass feudal warfare, a literal concentration camp in the opening half, widespread enslavement, and abuse of power. But it also offers hope and the promise of change. The story also explores the integral role of women in not only the preservation of magic in a bleak age of humanity, but the very foundation of Roke. 

Medra’s story spoke to me; how he resists the despotic powers-that-be, his connection with Anieb even after her tragic death, and how despite his disillusionment with humanity, he ultimately fights to create a better world. I also thought Gelluk was a horrifying villain. He’s characterized as a soft-spoken, almost kindly man who loves children and animals— yet his narrative thoughts involve burning hundreds of slaves alive in order to better fuel the quicksilver refinery. “Nice doesn’t mean good” taken to an extreme, and a mirror of many villains in the real world. 

Le Guin was anti-capitalist, but that way of thinking seems peripheral in the Earthsea series. The Finder, however, definitely has a Marxist reading in it. A recurring theme is the disenfranchised rising up against the powerful. Indeed both antagonists, who are despotic wizards of great power, are soundly defeated by groups of people they consider powerless. Magic is only considered relevant for the value and power it produces, an idea antithetical to the rest of the series. The quicksilver refinery also embraces anti-capitalist rhetoric; this section focuses on how mass enslavement and death is used to manufacture a meaningless commodity only one person “benefits” from. That’s not even getting into the prison-industrial complex. 

I dunno. This story slaps. It’s not at all what I expected from a Roke origin story.

#2 - Diamond and Darkrose (5/10)

Diamond, the son of a prosperous lumber merchant, struggles to find his true calling in life. His father disapproves of almost everything he does, including his close friendship with the local witch’s daughter Rose. While he loves music, his father derides his talents and forces him to abandon the pursuit. When Diamond shows some  promise in magic, he travels to a neighboring town to serve as the local wizard’s apprentice. But when this path estranges him from Rose, he grows disillusioned.

Rose had looked after herself from an early age; and this was one of the reasons Diamond loved her. With her, he knew what freedom was. Without her, he could attain it only when he was hearing and singing and playing music.

I did not like this story very much. I gave Diamond and Darkrose a 5/10 because it’s competently written (duh), and the protagonist has a character arc not entirely dependent on the central romance. But that’s about all I can say for it.

None of the characters are especially appealing. Diamond’s mentor figures are all extremely narrow-minded. Rose, supposedly his true love since childhood, drops him the moment things become difficult. And Diamond himself is a pushover who only grows a spine and pursues his dreams at the end of the story. I understand that’s his character flaw and his arc is about overcoming that. But due to all these factors, I was annoyed by every major character. The only person I didn’t dislike was Diamond’s mother, who only shows up for a couple of scenes.

Someone please tell me there are love stories out there where the romantic tension is NOT based on a fucking MISUNDERSTANDING. That shit drives me up a wall! It’s so overdone and painful to read.

#3 - The Bones of the Earth (8/10)

Dulse is an aging wizard on the island of Gont, reflecting on his life and relationship with his former apprentice, a young man he calls Silence. But he senses something amiss on the island; a massive earthquake poised to destroy a nearby port town and its inhabitants. To avert disaster, Dulse realizes he must turn to an ancient form of magic taught to him long ago— and he needs Silence’s help to save the town.

In there he knew he should hurry, that the bones of the earth ached to move, and that he must become them to guide them, but he could not hurry. There was on him the bewilderment of any transformation. He had in his day been fox, and bull, and dragonfly, and knew what it was to change being. But this was different, this slow enlargement. I am vastening, he thought.

So I’ve always liked Ogion in the main series; I love the idea of an immensely powerful wizard who lives an unassuming life of silence, contemplation, and appreciation of the natural world. In The Bones of the Earth, we get a glimpse of Ogion through his mentor’s eyes. Ogion’s heroism and how he stopped the earthquake is mentioned several times in the main series, but this is our first look at what actually happened.

Dulse is an unexpected and fascinating perspective character. It would be so easy to tell this story wholly from Ogion’s perspective, but I think making Dulse the protagonist was the right call. In particular, Dulse’s mind is starting to go. Le Guin presents this by utilizing flashbacks and connecting them to the present. This technique conveys Dulse’s disorientation and confusion so the reader experiences it alongside him... it’s hard to describe without actually reading the story. I also loved the little twist at the end regarding where Dulse learned the ancient magic that saves the island. There’s also a strong thematic connection to The Farthest Shore; death and becoming one with the rest of the world.

#4 - On The High Marsh (10/10)

A half-mad wanderer named Irioth comes upon a small settlement on the volcanic, marshy island of Semel. A murrain has been devastating the local cattle population, and Irioth offers his powers as a curer to heal the animals. He settles into a calm rural life with Gift, a widow working a small dairy. Though Gift likes Irioth, and the animals instinctively trust him, she senses something amiss with the man. Soon, Irioth’s dark past threatens to return and disturb the peace.

“Oh, yes,” Irioth said. “It was my fault.” But she forgave, and the grey cat was pressed up against his thigh, dreaming. The cat’s dreams came into his mind, in the low fields where he spoke with the animals, the dusky places. The cat leapt there, and then there was milk, and the deep soft thrilling. There was no fault, only the great innocence. No need for words. They would not find him here. He was not here to find. There was no need to speak any name. There was nobody but her, and the cat dreaming, and the fire flickering. He had come over the dead mountain on black roads, but here the streams ran slow among the pastures.

This story is a banger. It has a Western vibe— a stranger coming into a cattle town haunted by a mysterious past. Also cowboys. It’s an atmospheric story, and I think hits on the “small rural town” vibe better than Tehanu did. But there were several writing choices I especially liked.

We don’t learn Irioth’s name until a little while into the story; his physical description, temperament, and ability to immediately identify Gift’s true name just by looking at her makes one assume he’s Ged. He’s also got an interesting redemption arc, because it’s presented in a reverse order. We see Irioth’s genuine desire to do good, and his gentle and patient manner with animals and other people. He doesn’t even consider asking for payment for curing the murrain until Gift tells him he should. But there’s a sense that something is off; he’s paranoid, clearly running from something. The use-name he picks is Otak, a fictional ferret-like creature— which Gift asserts looks nice, but has sharp teeth.

Near the end, Ged actually does show up and explain what happened to Irioth. They have pretty similar backstories; both were powerful, arrogant young mages who messed with forces  they shouldn’t have, then went through great personal sacrifice to right the wrong (oh god the initial deception was intentional they’re narrative foils oh god). Ged embraced the darkest aspects of himself to avert calamity. Irioth came to Semel to escape Roke and atone by helping others. One detail I especially liked was that Irioth once considered healing beneath him, but now he takes a deep joy in using it to help. 

#5 - Dragonfly (8/10)

Irian lives a solitary life-- her father is a drunkard living in the ruins of their family’s once prosperous estate. Her closest relationship is with the local village witch, who named her in secret in the dead of night.  When a disgraced young wizard named Ivory comes to town, he sees Irian as a potential conquest. To gain power over her, he hatches a scheme; disguise Irian as a man, travel to Roke, and sneak her into the male-only wizard school— humiliating the great Masters.

But Irian is restless. She knows she has power, but her true nature is a mystery even to her. Irian sees Ivory’s plan as an opportunity to find answers from the most powerful wizards in the world. When the Doorkeeper actually lets her into the school, she finds herself in a magical and political conflict over the future of Roke— and discovers what exactly she is.

“Dark is bad,” said the Patterner. “Eh?”

Irian drew a deep breath and looked at him eye to eye as they sat there. “Only in dark the light,” she said.

This is one of those stories that has a rocky start, but a great second half. The first part of the novella felt dry to me; I’ve read plenty of tales about social outcasts with weird, unexplainable powers. On top of this, a chunk of the early narration is from Ivory’s POV, and he’s a complete tool. That can be a fun perspective to take, and I like the fact that he thinks he’s manipulating Irian when she’s the one pulling the strings. But since he’s an irrelevant character who disappears from the story halfway through, it feels like a waste to devote a huge chunk of the story to him.

However, once Irian arrives at Roke, the story gets much more interesting. Her presence at Roke causes a huge scandal that divides the Masters. Women being forbidden from Roke is a Series Thing at this point, but Earthsea is in an era of change (although I DO question that she’s the first woman to try it). The Finder demonstrated that women were pivotal in the foundation of Roke, something largely erased from history. Barring women stems from a power hungry bigot codifying it into tradition.

Irian finds some unexpected allies--minor characters in the previous books. The Doorkeeper continues to be the coolest motherfucker there. The Patterner is a major character in this story; he was in just one scene in The Farthest Shore, so I liked learning more about him. The Namer is the kind of guy you’d expect to be a stodgy traditionalist, so him siding with Irian is surprising. The Summoner, a heroic figure in previous books and stories, is a sinister villain here. As for the ending, well… if you didn’t see it coming, I’d wonder if you even read Tehanu. The same hints are there.

There were little particulars I liked, such as Irian moving into a decrepit hut that’s definitely Medra’s old home. My favorite detail is that this story has a parallel scene with The Finder. In The Finder, there’s a scene where an antagonist, Early, invades Roke in the form of a dragon. He lands on Roke Knoll, a site of power that reveals one’s true form. It turns him back into a human, leaving him defenseless when the residents of Roke attack him and repel his invasion. The reversal happens in Dragonfly. Irian gets attacked by one of the Masters while at Roke Knoll — and its magic turns her into her true form, a dragon. Props to whoever picked the cover design, since it references both scenes.

#6 - A Description of Earthsea

I’m not rating this since it’s basically a lore dump. It’s a deep dive into Earthsea’s history, languages, cultures, and other relevant world details. It’s the kind of bonus info a lot of fantasy series tack on as reference material.  According to Le Guin, she wrote this to get some idea of the timeline on each of these stories.

As a series, Earthsea has relatively little worldbuilding exposition. Sometimes characters reference legends or historical events, but usually the reader lacks the context to fully understand them. The focus is more on the lives of the characters and their personal experience of the world. I think something like A Description of Earthsea has benefits and drawbacks for the reader. On one hand it's nice to have some definitive information to tie things together. On the other, this does represent a loss of some of the mystery in the story.

I think this is the first thing in the series that even mentions homosexuality, so props for that I guess?

Closing Thoughts

A short story collection is always going to have high and low points. I tend to look at each story individually and score that way, but an average is always misleading. Diamond and Darkrose dragged the score down since there were only five stories total. But I enjoyed the majority of them. I am interested to see where the human/dragon subplot goes in the final installment; I assume Irian will show up at some point? We’ll see.

#taylor reads #8/10 #2021 reading challenge #almost done with this series!

[travllingbunny]

The 100 rewatch: 5x02 Red Queen

Note: I’m afraid that I’ll have to delay my review of 7x12 The Stranger a bit longer - maybe till Friday (because I’m busy with work, and I think that one may take a bit more time to finish), but in the meantime, here’s - finally - a continuation of my season 5 rewatch reviews. It happens to be the only seasons I haven’t covered yet - except for 5x01 Eden, which I rewatched a few months ago after 7x02 The Garden, because I wanted to compare the two. I was planned to do Red Queen right afterwards - it’s interesting to compare and contrast Octavia’s character transformations in season 5 and season 7 - but it didn’t pan out that way. But now, @jeanie205 and me have started another joint rewatch during the hiatus, this one of season 5. (She only saw it live, week to week, and hasn’t rewatched it yet, I binged it and this is my second rewatch.)

...............................

I’ve always thought of season 5 as a season with a really strong beginning - the first 3 or 4 episodes are fantastic - which drags a bit in the middle before ending a very strong two-part finale.. The 6-year jump, in terms of storytelling, had both good and bad results. These two opening episodes, Eden and Red Queen, really make the best out of the time jump, with flashbacks about Clarke surviving on her own on a desolated Earth and meeting Madi, and flashbacks of what happened to Wonkru in the bunker. It says a lot that we got half an episode of Clarke surviving on Earth, a full episode plus a bunch of flashbacks in 5x11 about the bunker... and nothing about the Ring (till that one flashback in season 7). It’s because the life on the Ring was so boring and uneventful that the show didn't care to show anything of those 6 years. Clarke’s peaceful life with Madi in Eden also happened off-screen - we only saw their first meeting and their later relationship in the present - but Clarke’s two months of terrible hardship got covered in amazing 20 minutes. But the bunker is where things were the most intense. 

If the Ring seems to be just boring everyday life of 7 people who can’t go anywhere for 6 years, and if Clarke got to live in Eden (paradise) with Madi after the purgatory of 40 50+ days in the desert, the bunker is clearly Hell. It is a claustrophobic underground world full of anger, conflict and violence that certainly looks like Hell by the end of the episode.

The last scene, with its horror imagery, reminded me of the current Sanctum storyline in season 7 (both Blodreina and Sheidheda like using skulls as decoration), and the comparison shows exactly why the bunker/Blodreina story worked so well, and why the S7 Sanctum story does not. It’s all about moral ambiguity and keeping the audience on its toes, pulling the rug from under us by making us unsure how to feel about characters and their actions, which Red Queen does so well (and which S7 Sanctum storyline completely fails to do, being very predictable and black and white). Red Queen is so well done and intense that I don’t even mind that Clarke and Bellamy and some of my other favorites aren’t in it.

Timeline: The episode starts 42 days after Praimfaya and ends 46 days after Praimfaya.

The opening scenes take place at the same time when Clarke arrived in Polis and tried to open the door. Clarke's only listed as appearing in this episode because of this repeated scene from Eden. (It’s weird that apparently not just the Temple, but the Tower also apparently fell on the entrance. The Tower is next to the Temple, but I’m not sure if that would really happen?) I’m not sure what exactly caused the rubble to fall down, but this is the moment where everyone loses hope, since they know they probably can’t get out, even though they have 5 years to try to think of the solution.

Niylah has found a bunch of books and some other stuff in the bunker, and one of the books was Ovid’s Metamorphoses, which we now know was Callie Cadogan’s book. (That was a nice Easter Egg in 7x08.) Niylah knows Bellamy used to read to Octavia about Ancient Rome - she must have heard it from her or from Clarke or someone else in Arkadia over the last month or so that she spent with them. It is still surprising she knows about Ovid, specifically. What she doesn’t know when she gives Octavia the book is how symbolic it is of what happens to Octavia throughout this episode - her metamorphosis into Blodreina. (We even see the opening line on screen: “ I intend to speak of forms changed into new entities..”).

Octavia Blake is a character who has undergone more dramatic transformations than any other character on The 100. I wasn’t a big fan of her in some of the early seasons, but now I think that, after what the show has done with her since season 4, she has probably had the best character arc of any character on the show. (Some would say it’s Murphy, but that’s because people like to think of character development as going from bad to good, a positive progression - which is a lot more predictable and done quite often. What the show did with Octavia is much more complex and unexpected.) Her turn to the dark side and subsequent redemption were really well done, and Marie Avgeropoulos is one of the best actors on the show (I’ve always thought so regardless of how I felt about her character at any given time) and pulled off her changes in season 5 so well.

What the episode does really well is maintain ambiguity about Octavia’s development as a leader. The first time you watch it, it’s not clear what is she developing into. Is this a story about a well-meaning but still inexperienced teenage girl becoming a great leader? Well, the cliffhanger of 5x01 showed the fighting pits and the new scary Blodreina look, so it’s already hinted it’s not quite like that. But the episode still makes you root for Octavia, who’s up against not just the difficult circumstances - trapped in the bunker, limited resources - but also tribalism of Skaikru and 11 Grounder clans and a lot short-sighted people who hate and keep fighting each other. You just can’t not root for her when she starts forcing them to obey, near the end of the episode (and it’ certainly comes off as a very badass scene - if a bit unrealistic, since Octavia has only been training in Grounder-style combat for about 7-8 months at that point) - but then things may start getting a little ominous as she repeats the mantra “You are Wonkru, or you are the enemy of Wonkru. Choose!” (“You’re either with us, or against us” statements by political leaders are always worrying), even before the ending, where both Octavia and the bunker look like something out of a horror movie. This entire storyline made the point that unity can’t be forced on people, especially not by a single all-powerful leader, without turning into tyranny and oppression.

What’s also morally ambiguous is advice from the mortally wounded Jaha, which ends up influencing Octavia’s decisions and development as a leader. Jaha was always one of the most morally grey characters - he’s not evil, always had good intentions, but his ruthlessness and willingness to disregard individual lives in the name of the Big Picture of saving “his (collective) people” and his complete confidence that this is the right leadership style, were always very disturbing, and made him the villain in the eyes of - and the lives of - all the young protagonists of the show. In season 4, some of them started seeing his perspective. faced with the similar difficult choices. After Clarke in season 4, Octavia also starts seeing his perspective - which is particularly disturbing because it is the same man who executed her mother for just having a child, and locked her up for a year as a criminal just for being born. But Jaha’s actions in Red Queen are some of his most heroic ever in the show, and he gets a heroic death and a moving death scene... while still being kind of a real d1ck, someone who justifies Aurora’s execution to Octavia by saying her mother made herself “the enemy” and bringing them “closer to death”. In the context, Jaha as an unexpected mentor to Octavia can be seen as something good or at least a necessary for her to develop into a capable leader... Or is it? The line between hero and villain can be very thin. Sure, it helps Octavia resolve the situation, save hundreds of people in the bunker, and apparently unite everyone into Wonkru - but as we see by the end of the episode and the rest of the season, it also ends up making her a tyrant who ends up getting hundreds of her people killed in the name of saving “her people” and delivering them to paradise as a messiah. She becomes the same thing she hated, an oppressor like those who forced her to hide under the floor and killed her mother.  

(This dialogue from season 4 is pretty relevant here:  

Clarke: You know, he used to be everything that I hated. Maybe he was keeping us together.

Jasper: When Jaha's looking reasonable, it's time to reassess.)

I have to say, however, in spite of all the moral greyness... I can’t stand Kara Cooper. She’s one of the few characters on the show that just piss me off to no end and I can’t find any sympathy for her. I know that it’s different for others, I’ve seen people say they see her perspective, and yes, the show  gives her a tragic backstory (losing her father in the Culling on the Ark and her husband in the Second Culling in 4x12)... but this time I can’t bring myself to care, because: 

She wants to leave some 1100+ people to die, even though she should be well aware that, even if there is a problem of overpopulation in the bunker*, she really doesn’t have to kill that many people, 

She’s a scientist and gives a speech about how the lack of diversity would lead to a massive die-off for plants... Surely she should know that the same would happen to the humans, and that a human race can’t survive with just around 80 people?! which leads me to

She doesn’t care about the survival of the human race and is ready to condemn it to extinction, just so she and a few others would live more comfortably and wouldn’t be in danger of immediate death, 

She says she wants to save “her people” - but it’s all about tribalism (Skaikru or not Skaikru?) and not love, and she is a hypocrite, because she is ready to leave a bunch of Skaikru outside the door to die, too, 

She is a hypocrite when she acts like Abby did something terrible by opening the bunker door to save Kane (which also saved hundreds of people more than would have otherwise been saved) - basically, she’s like “ Abby, how dare you not prioritize my husband, a guy you didn't even know, over your boyfriend? You're so terrible!" Sure. That makes sense. 

Her arguments about why the bunker “belongs” to Skaikru are rubbish: “ "Jaha found it. It belonged to us" - even if we accept the finders-keepers idea, actually, multiple people helped find the bunker. Yes, Jaha was the driving force, but Bellamy found the coin, and Kane, Monty and Gaia all massively contributed to finding it - without Gaia's info they wouldn't have ever found it - as did Indra, and the fighters from Trikru and their allies who guarded the temple so they could do it. She just ignored all these facts. If they had kept the bunker in 4x11, they would have left most of these people out (including Kane and Monty). Oh, and she is now trying to take the bunker back... and she’s ready to leave Jaha himself outside! 

And after all of that, she saves her own skin by being the most ruthless one of everyone Octavia sent to the fighting pit and killing them all - and then becomes Octavia’s right hand and sycophant. What integrity! 

While many people seem to think that Octavia’s downfall started with the cannibalism during the Dark Year, I think it’s the decision at the end of Red Queen to open the fighting pits and start punishing every crime by throwing people in them. This is her first really bad decision. In practice, this form of “justice” means that you can commit any crime you want if you're good at killing people once you’re in the pit. it fosters a culture of violence - even more so when death matches are entertainment. So, in the end, the guy from Delphi clan who just stole blankets (the Sangedakru delegate Brell demanded death for that - their laws are pretty draconian, makes me wonder in retrospect if Sheidheda was the one who first imposed them) died, while Kara effing Cooper got to live because she was the most ruthless person there. What I think Octavia should have done is - she should have executed the murderers and the leaders of the rebellion and given minor punishments to people who did things like steal blankets. (it's been argued they needed Cooper for the farm - but that was not the reasoning, Octavia left her with everyone else to fight.) 

This was Octavia, sadly, combining not the best, but the worst of the Ark system (death as the punishment for every crime or minor misdemeanor), Grounder tradition (death matches as the solution to everything) and her childhood stories of the Ancient Rome. If you're using Ancient Rome gladiator fights as your role model...you've probably stopped being a good guy.

The last scene, fighting pits 6 years later, is similar to the cliffhanger end of the previous episode, only now we get the cliffhanger of Kane being one of the fighters. Octavia is in her full Blodreina mode now. Not just her outward look has changed, but her facial expressions, too - this is the first time we see that cold, sinister Blodreina smile. Indra doesn’t look too happy, Gaia and Ethan are there. Miller- even after that much time - doesn’t look too happy with Cooper being there, by Octavia's side.

This is straight up horror imagery. There is even some sort of structure made of skulls next to where she's sitting!  Not exactly a throne of skulls like Sheidheda has in season 7 but something similar.

But here’s why this works so differently than Sheidheda and his throne of skulls in season 7 and why people are bored by the latter. There is no ambiguity in the S7 Sanctum story. Sheiheda is completely, cartoonishly evil, there is nothing complex about it, Murphy is now definitely a good guy, as are Emori and Indra, and none of them are in conflict about how to deal with him (except for a short moment in 7x09, which was OOC for Indra). The only characters that we may still wonder 'what are they gonna do? which side will they take?" are minor, underdeveloped characters like Nikki, or Knight (you're in trouble when your main question is "will Knight change sides?"). It's a very simple black and white story, the kind t100 normally doesn't do and Shady’s throne of . But when Octavia has her face painted in blood, has skulls next to her, and a creepy smile while she’s deciding the fate of the winner, that is genuinely disturbing because it's Octavia. You’ve followed her for seasons, and you’ve spent the whole episode rooting for her to solve the problems and deal with those really awful and annoying people... and then she does, and oh my god, suddenly she turns into a villain, and that’s chilling. 

Other observations:

I love the Kabby scene where they're talking while chained up in the farm, while a guy is playing guitar in the background. I think Abby was pretty unfair to Kane when she said he took away her choice to kill herself - because she didn’t try to kill herself, she tried to make Kane kill her, and then she expected him to be able to do it, even though she never could: not only did she open the bunker door to save Kane, she destroyed the radiation chamber (possibly dooming thousands of people) because she couldn’t allow Clarke to risk her life (in 4x08). Kane may be more of a “Head” than “Heart” of the two of them, but Abby should have realized he wouldn’t be able to carry her unconscious body (or even let someone else do it) and let her die of radiation. He loves her and he doesn’t really have anyone else. Abby really seemed to be taking out her own self-loathing out on him. It was still a sweet moment when he finally dropped the pretense that he saved her for being a doctor and admitted it was a Heart decision, and she finally admitted she would do the same and never regretted opening the bunker door to save him. 

But we get a hint about that Abby has already developed a pill addiction, which will strain and almost destroy their relationship. Kabby was a really well written relationship - we saw them falling in love over 4 seasons (which rarely happens with romantic relationships on this show) - but then we also saw that being together and loving each other is not enough to be “happy ever after”, not when you live in f*cked up circumstances and when you both have to deal with all sorts of problems. Love can’t conquer everything, which is more realistic way to depict romance.

Mackson actually have some screentime in this episode. This is actually the first time we see that they are together (after a brief flirting scene in season 4). I had forgotten that Miller says the L word in this episode: "You're a healer, nor a fighter. That's why I love you.” I thought “This was pretty fast” - but when you take into account they’ve been together for a couple of months, it’s actually not that fast compared to most of the romances on the show... It’ just that most of their relationships happens off-screen.

So Level C (which Cooper and her people took over) was where Cadogan planned to be with his family if the rest of the bunker goes to hell. Makes sense he’d do something like that.

Indra was already not a fan of the Commanders at this point, telling Gaia: "Your real Commanders would have left you to burn", "the spirits of the Commanders have abandoned us"

We got two Wells mentions in this episode! One when Jaha was reading a children’s book (apparently The Giving Tree - thanks @jeanie205​) to Ethan, and says it was his son's favorite bedtime story, and another one when Jaha is dying and says “Take me to my wife. Take me to Wells”.

ALIE would be proud of these people: they all keep repeating “There are too many people in this bunker” throughout the episode. Thanos would be proud of them, too. Why not instead say: “There aren’t enough resources in this bunker”? No worries then, they will manage to get 1/3 of those people killed - 814 will remain instead of 1200 by the time they get out of the bunker... What few characters in the show ever seem to realize are too few people for the human race to survive. That is, if they weren't lucky to always be running into more humans, and then everyone blows it away by killing each other, again.

A few lines in this episode feel like dark foreshadowing:

Abby makes the first mention of cannibalism, a dark period in Ark’s history called the “Blight"

"It won't be that easy", says Octavia to Cooper when Cooper wanted to kill herself. One could say the same when Octavia tried to sacrifice herself and die in 5x12

"I'll take care of the boy” - Octavia promises to Jaha to take care of little Ethan, just as Jaha promised to Ethan’s father. That didn't turn out so well in the end...

Rating: 9/10

#the 100 #the 100 rewatch #the 100 5x02 #red queen #the 100 season 5 #octavia blake #blodreina #thelonius jaha #marcus kane #abby griffin #kabby #anti kara cooper #indra kom trikru #indra #wonkru #mackson #nate miller

[cpd5021]

Unexpected - Chapter 10

      Hailey rolled out of bed the next morning, wandering around her room, picking out her clothes for the day. Vanessa had sent her a text that she needed to head in to work early, so instead Jay would be picking her up. Hailey smiled at the thought of her room mate arranging a spare ride for her, despite Hailey having a car of her own. But it meant she got to start her day with Jay and that brightened her mood even more than it already was. As Hailey stood in the shower, paying attention to all the little details and enjoying the hot water, she found herself smiling seemingly over nothing. Maybe not nothing, maybe the sense of normalcy she was finally feeling, the new normalcy that is. Hailey had never imagined she would be at this point in her life, but she was finally adjusting to the thought of it. As she washed her body, she carefully rubbed her hands over her growing bump. It was still barely noticeable to the unknowing eye, but to her it seemed massive. Once she was done in the shower and dressed, she headed downstairs for breakfast. Just as she was setting her bowl in the sink, she heard the tell tale grumble of Jay’s truck outside. She grabbed what she needed and all but skipped towards his truck. When she pulled open the passenger door she was met with a huge grin and the smell of her favorite coffee.

“You seem chipper this morning.” Jay noted, planting a kiss on her cheek. 

“Just happy.” She smiled at him as they pointed towards the precinct. 

“Over anything in particular?” Jay asked, raising an eyebrow.

“No...I don’t know really. I just feel good. This feels good.” She nodded towards her stomach where her hands rested. 

“It will be good Hailey. And you’ll be amazing.” Jay smiled, reaching to take one of her hands in his. He went to rest their joined hands between them but Hailey pulled them back and placed his hand across her stomach. She saw him glance over at her, a mix of surprise and happiness on his face. 

“I know there’s not a whole lot happening in there right now...” She looked down at her belly and their conjoined hands. “But I feel like I’m always touching my stomach now. Like she can feel it or something.” She shrugged, glancing back up at Jay to see his response. 

“She?” He asked, a huge grin on his face. Hailey blushed slightly then, dipping her head back down. 

“Yea...I mean, obviously we won’t know for a few more weeks but...I don’t know. That’s just the vibe I get.” She nodded, looking out the window as they pulled into the parking lot. 

“I like it.” Jay said, sending her a wink. “A little you running around, I’m screwed!” He flinched when she playfully punched his shoulder. Jay planted another kiss on her cheek, before his hand came under her chin, turning her face towards him so he could give her a proper kiss. Hailey’s heart raced as she felt the sudden urge to deepen the kiss, shifting in her seat so she could wrap an arm around his shoulders. Hailey was ready to throw all caution to the wind and, despite the fact they were sitting in the precinct lot, take this a little further. Luckily, somehow, Jay was managing to keep his cool and gently separated them, giving her a smile and biting his lip. 

“Easy tiger...” He winked again and it did nothing to calm her down. “Tonight.” His word was a promise and she was already counting down the minutes until they got off work. 

*******

   Hailey spent all of her morning, and most of the afternoon, sorting through old CI files, pulling out anyone who wasn’t an active CI. She found the mundane task oddly enjoyable compared to the usual chaos her work days brought. She sat perched in the center of one of the metal tables in roll up, legs criss-crossed and files spread everywhere around her. Her phone played music softly in the back ground and she found herself humming along to some 90′s classic. Her stomach grumbled, letting her know it was time for a snack when suddenly Jay came down the stairs, bottle of water and a rice krispy treat from the vending machine in hand.

“Is that for me?” She asked, eyeing the treat. 

“Maybe.” Jay teased, pretending to debate whether he was going to give it to her or not. Her stomach grumbled again and he chuckled, handing her the goods. 

“This isn’t half bad.” Hailey spoke around a mouthful of food. 

“The treat or the job?” Jay asked, laughing at the sight of her. 

“Both.” She grinned, taking a sip of the water. 

“I’m glad you’re here, even if it’s not how you want to be.” Jay moved to lean against the table she was sat upon. 

“I definitely want to be on the road again, but right now...this feels right.” Hailey scooted forward on the table, dangling her legs off the edge so that she could rest her head against his shoulder. Jay wrapped an arm around her waist and placed a soft kiss on top of her head. Kevin jogged down the stairs, giving Hailey a frown and informing Jay they had caught a case. Jay turned and gave her a sheepish smile as he headed to follow Kevin. “Get out of here!” She laughed slightly at his hesitation. “But hurry back, I haven’t forgot about your promise for tonight.” Hailey winked at him and laughed when he groaned, before turning back towards the stairs and disappearing from her view. Hailey sighed and let her head hang against her chest as she felt a slight pang of sadness and jealousy that she had to stay behind. Her hands came to rest on her stomach and she found herself smiling at the tiny bulge she could feel under her palms. Hailey sat there for a moment before getting back to her task of flipping through all the files. 

   After another hour with the files, she finally finished and trudged upstairs. She had just sat down at her desk to look at the next item on the to do list Platt had provided her with when she heard some of her team coming up the stairs. Vanessa beamed at her as she cleared the last step, a foam take out container in hand, and headed straight towards her. 

“Two Greek gyros, extra sauce and fries on the side.” Vanessa grinned, handing her the container. Hailey would be lying if she said the gesture hadn’t significantly brighten her day.  

“Thanks! But how’d you know?” Hailey gave her a quizzical look. The food was from her and Jay’s favorite diner and she had never been there with Vanessa so she was confused as to how the officer knew her exact order. 

“We had to do some knock and talks in the area and I knew it’s your favorite place. Might have asked a certain detective what you would get from there.” Vanessa smiled, eagerly taking the fry Hailey offered her. 

“You’re the best!” Hailey exclaimed, truly meaning it. She felt super lucky to have the younger woman in her life. 

“Nah..” Vanessa feigned embarrassment, going to sit at her desk. “Oh yeah, Jay and Kim were still looking for the suspect so they’ll be a bit.” Vanessa answered her unasked question and Hailey nodded with the information. It wasn’t unusual for one of them to be tied up with something, but Hailey felt a sudden wave of nervousness when she realized he had been paired with Kim. Hailey decided to brush it off for now and enjoy the delicious food Vanessa had brought her. When she was done eating, she headed towards the break room to throw out her trash and wash her hands. As she was drying her hands she turned and jumped a little when she realized Adam had followed her, she hadn’t heard him come in. 

“Hey, sorry...” He cleared his throat awkwardly. 

“No worries.” She gave him a small smile, taking in his features. He looked worn out and she knew it was more than just the ware and tear of the job. “How are you?” 

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that question?” He countered, giving her a grin. 

“Touche’.” She conceded, dipping her head. “But you know what I mean.”

“Yea...” He nodded, face somber. “I’m alright...I guess. I’m more worried about her. I just don’t know how to help her.” He glanced up at her, looking for answers.

“I don’t know, it’s a tough spot Adam...” Hailey gave him a sad smile, wishing there was something she could say to help him.

“I really felt like we were making progress too but then she just flipped gears again.” Adam sighed, shaking his head. Hailey felt a pang in her chest, knowing that it was probably her situation that had spurred Kim to have to process her feelings again. 

“Adam I’m so sorry..” Hailey didn’t know what else to say. Their conversation was cut short then when they heard commotion in the bullpen. They both raced out to see the team scrambling around, Kevin turned to them and then his eyes landed on Hailey, looking suddenly nervous with what he was about to say. 

“Jay..uh...Jay’s at Med..” His eyes darted away and Vanessa tugged his arm, spurring him to move. Adam glanced down at Hailey, who was frozen in place, already assuming the worst. Flashbacks from him getting shot poured into her mind and her chest tightened. 

“Hey hey, we don’t know anything yet.” Adam gripped her shoulder, quelling her nerves slightly. “Come on, I’ll drive.”

*****

    They arrived at Med in record time and Hailey was the first through the doors of the lobby, eyes scanning for anyone who could give her answers. She spotted a doctor across the room and immediately pointed his way, nostrils flaring as she struggled to maintain composure. With her eyes glued to the doctor, she didn’t notice Voight approaching her until he was in front of her, cutting off her attack. 

“Hailey...he’s alright.” His deep voice penetrated her worst case scenario thoughts and her eyes met his, bulging with held back emotion and searching his face for more information. “He and Burgess got in a foot pursuit, Jay chased the guy into a building and then tackled him, sending them both crashing out of the window. It was a two story fall and he landed on his shoulder. They’re only worried because of his previous injury there.” Hailey swallowed hard, picturing the tiny scar on his shoulder that she had become all too familiar with as their relationship had grown. Countless times she had found herself tracing around the raised skin, either in the morning before he woke or in the evenings after they had released some pent up tension. She focused on slowing her breathing, repeating Voight’s words in her head. Hailey nodded to her Sargent and he gave a sigh of relief when he saw her coming down. Her eyes scanned the lobby, seeing the rest of her unit huddled in the corner by the vending machines. Vanessa gave her a reassuring smile, knowing all to well the panic Hailey just went through. Noticeably absent from the group was Kim and Hailey scanned the lobby again, finding her sitting alone in a row of chairs, head down and hands clasped in her lap. Hailey met eyes with Adam and could tell her had noticed her too. She gave him a smile and took a deep breath before walking over to the other woman. Hailey hesitated momentarily when she reached her destination, but Kim looked up at her then, nodding to the chair beside her.  

“Hey..” Hailey started, but Kim quickly interrupted her. 

“Hailey, I’m sorry.” Kim’s eyes met her’s and she could see they were red with unshed tears. 

“No no, this isn’t your fault. Jay was just-” Hailey was cut off again before she could finish. 

“Yea no, Jay is...well Jay.” Kim gave a brief chuckle, picturing the detectives antics. “I’m sorry for the way I’ve been treating you.” Kim gave her a sad smile then, barely visible on her lips. 

“Kim..” Hailey started, unsure what to say. 

“What happened to me, that’s not on you. I guess when I found out you were pregnant...I just...I don’t know. I was angry? Angry because I lost my baby and now you were going to get to have one. Angry because I was reckless when I should have been more careful..I was selfish and it cost me my child.” Hailey felt her eyes burn with Kim’s words.

“Kim, you saved that girls life. And I know what it cost you to do that and I can’t even begin to imagine what you’ve gone through... But you aren’t selfish.” Hailey placed a hand on Kim’s knee, giving it a gentle squeeze. When their eyes met again, both woman had tears brimming and ready to fall. 

“Congratulations.” Kim gave a sheepish grin.

“Thank you.” Hailey gave a small laugh, voice still thick with emotion. Will walked up then, letting Hailey know she could go see Jay now. They both stood, Hailey instantly moving to follow Will, but stopped and turned to give Kim a hug, smiling when the other woman reciprocated by squeezing her tightly. They shared another emotion laden chuckle and Hailey turned to jog after Will. 

   He led her down a maze of hallways before they finally came to a stop outside of a room shut off by a curtain. He gave her a smile and nodded towards the room. 

“He’s all yours.” Will joked, causing Hailey to laugh. “And congrats.” He winked and she felt her face blush slightly, she hadn’t asked Jay how Will had handled the news but now she knew he was accepting of it. She pulled back the curtain, grinning when she saw Jay laying in the bed, pouting that he was once again being held hostage in the hospital. 

“Jay Halstead, we have to stop meeting like this.” She teased, walking to his bed side. 

“You gotta get me out of here.” He pleaded, puppy dog eyes and all. 

“And you’ve gotta stop ending up here.” She countered with a laugh. 

“Valid point.” He agreed, rolling his eyes. 

“So what’s the verdict?” Hailey asked, leaning on the bed rail and looking him up and down. 

“I’m all set, they were worried I messed my shoulder up more than it already was. I might have to do some more PT but for now they said to just take it easy.” He sighed, hating the thought of all of that. 

“So no physical activity then?” Hailey asked, raising an eyebrow. He must have been given something for pain because he was slow to catch on at first. 

“Yea, looks like we’ll both be on desk duty for a bit.” He grinned at the thought of them getting to hide out in the filing room together. 

“Lucky you...” She smirked. “But I was wondering about another kind of activity...” He caught on then, maybe by the mischievous look on her face.

“Oh, I’m sure we can figure something out.” He replied, voice suddenly husky. Hailey leaned down to kiss him. It started slow but quickly heated up when Jay wound the hand on his good arm into her hair, pulling her closer. Hailey gripped the bed rail with one hand and the other rested on his chest, gripping his gown. They both jumped when someone cleared their throat behind them and Hailey pursed her lips, looking extremely embarrassed when she turned to face Voight. 

“I see you’re feeling better.” Voight said, an amused look in his eyes. 

“Uh...yea...” Jay stammered awkwardly, shifting in the bed to sit up a little. 

“Mmmm.” Voight nodded, glancing between the two of them. “Well you’ve obviously got the rest of the day off. I’ll see you tomorrow if you’re feeling up to it, you’ll be grounded to your desk until you’re cleared though.” 

“Sounds good Sarge.” Jay nodded, thankful the Voight was letting him off so easy. 

“Oh, and they said you need to take it easy.” Voight looked between them again. “So no funny business.” Hailey’s face burned and she wanted to sink into the ground, her eyes met Jay’s and she knew he was feeling the same. Voight left them alone then, chuckling to himself as he tugged the curtain closed. 

“Well that just happened.” Jay let out a nervous breath.

“Yea...” Hailey nodded and then they both started laughing at the situation.    

#chicago pd #chicago pd fanfiction #halstead and upton #jay halstead #hailey upton #halstead #jay x hailey #upstead #upton

[jamaisjoons]

intro: her II ⤑ knj | m

⟶ 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦:〝 you enter namjoon’s life in the most unexpected of ways, but will you be able to stay, especially when he comes with three adorable but chaotic children, even more chaotic best friends and a bitch of an ex-wife? not to mention your own emotional baggage. 〞singe dad au.

❥ 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: single dad!namjoon x marine vet!reader

❥ 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: angst ⋆ fluff

❥ 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 9k

⟶ 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: mentions of child neglect and abandonment but nothing too great, talk of abortion, i think that’s it?

➵ 𝑎/𝑛: EYE have no excuses for why this took so long to write. But here it is, the long awaited chapter 2!

⏤ Rewritten as of 23/02/2020

⇥ Previous || Masterlist || Next

Chapter 2: Pirates and Flashbacks

As you stand in front of the large, opulent building, you gawk at the pristine white walls, crystal clear glass and immaculately kept garden. Everything about the building screams money and suddenly you aren’t sure if this is a good idea. Currently, you’re stood outside Namjoon’s home, two neatly wrapped gifts in your hand as you nervously fidgeted about. Today’s the day of the twins’ birthday party and a part of you wants to turn around and run. You don’t belong in this world. You’re completely out of place, dressed in your nicest pair of jeans and a fashionable jumper - considering it’s winter -, and yet while staring at the palace-like home; you can’t help but still feel nervous.

You take in a deep breath and gather all the courage you can muster up before pressing the buzzer. Taking a step back, your fidget with your jumper as you attempt to make yourself presentable; picking at the non-existence lint on the wool. A couple of moments later, someone answers the intercom and a face pops up out of nowhere. To your surprise, it’s Hoseok - and not some random member of staff that Namjoon must have hired to take care of his home. Because really, how else would he be able to look after the entire mansion he considers a house? With uncertainty prevalent in your eyes, you stare at the moving image of Hoseok, waving back hesitantly at his exuberant wave. You’re almost worried his hand will fall off with how intensely it moves.

“____! Hi! Come on in,” Hoseok greets you cheerily and you smile at him. Abruptly, his face disappears and the screen goes blank again. However, you don’t have to wait long because, soon, the gates to Namjoon’s house begin creaking open. Sucking in a nervous breath, you stay your nerves as much as you can before entering. By the time you get to the front door, Hoseok is already there, greeting you with a warm welcome.

“____, it’s nice of you to come. The boys haven’t stopped speaking about you. Jungkookie keeps pestering Namjoon-ah, asking him when you’d get here. Which, is quite surprising, because Jungkook hates strangers. But lately, you’re all he can talk about,” Hoseok says with a booming laugh, making small conversation. You’re slightly startled by his words, wondering what about you had enamoured the four-year-old so much.

“Oh, I’m sure it’s only because I helped him when he got lost,” you explain causing Hoseok to let out a small hum. Looking at you from the corner of his eye, his eyes glisten mischievously.

“Maybe… all we know is that he won’t stop talking about you,” Hoseok says, a small smile on his face. Hoseok navigates through the maze-like home with relative ease, and you wonder just how close he is to Namjoon. You know they work for the same company and have been friends for years, but they must be incredibly close for Namjoon’s children to call him ‘hyung’, and for him to be able to wander through the house easily, without getting lost.

Before long, you and Hoseok find yourself in a large, minimalistic living room. Neutral and white tones surround you everywhere and a part of you wonders how this can be a family home. It looks more like a bachelor pad than anything else. Although, you assume that that stems from Namjoon being a single dad. The neat, almost clinical room is somewhat ruined by the brightly coloured toys strewn all over. Colourful banners and balloons are littered all over and a huge sign saying ‘Happy birthday Jimin and Taehyung’ meets your eyes. You want to continue taking in the sights, but instead, your eyes widen at the sheer chaos surrounding you.

There’s a small group of children running rampant, screaming and yelling as they chase each other. Taehyung is at the forefront of the yelling, a huge boxy smile on his face as he screeches and laughs, dragging a giggling Jimin behind him as the two try and get away from the other three chasing them. The two are holding hands as tightly as they can, both of them holding large plastic swords in the free hands; pirate hats too big for their small heads falling into their eyes. Your eyebrows furrow, looking around for Jungkook. You don’t have to look for long, though, because you find him gripping Namjoon’s trousers, clinging as hard as he can onto his father.

Namjoon is standing with Yoongi and Seokjin, all of them sipping drinks. Every now and then you see one of them glance at the kids, trying to keep an eye on them. There’s also a couple standing with them, but you can’t recognise who they are. Hoseok slowly guides you to them, the group of adults turning to you. The minute Jungkook spots you, however, his previously reserved face, immediately lights up. You watch as he quickly let’s go off Namjoon’s leg, instead, running up to you. Jungkook collides with your legs, his arms wrapped around them as he flashes you his bunny-esque smile.

“____-noona! You came!” Jungkook cries with happiness and you grin at him, rearranging the presents you’re holding in your arms to pet his head. Namjoon smiles brightly at you, dimples poking out, Seokjin waving at you while Yoongi nods his greeting. The couple, however, looks at you in surprise.

“I’ve never seen little Kook so excited to see someone,” the guy jokes, the female smacking him hard on the shoulder.

“Sooyun, Jaebeom, this is ____, the one I was telling you about,” Namjoon introduces and you bow slightly at the two of them.

“Ah! The famous ____, who Jungkook has yet to stop talking about,” Sooyun teases, eyes sparkling as she looks down at Jungkook

“Sooyunie-noona stop teasing me!” Jungkook pouts, stomping his foot in frustration. You look at the usually quiet boy in surprise, eyes widening somewhat at the light blush dusting his cheeks.

“Nochu, go play with your hyungs,” Namjoon says, trying to shoo the young boy away, but Jungkook just clings to you tighter.

“I don’t want to daddy, Suri is always pinching my cheeks and then they hurt,” Jungkook says with a small pout, dragging out the ends of his words as he rubs his cheeks slightly.

“Yes, well my daughter does take after her mother,” Jaebeom says mischievously as he eyes Sooyun, causing her to smack him on the shoulder again while he laughs.

“As if you don’t teach her to keep away from boys by being as annoying as she can be. Anyway, I’m sure Sungwoo and Jaewoo will stop her from pinching your cheeks Kookie,” Sooyun says kindly and Jungkook looks at her hesitantly before turning his gaze back to his father, who nods reassuringly.

“You’ll have Jimin and Taehyung too, Nochu,” Namjoon finally says and Jungkook lets out a defeated sigh before running off with a pout. You watch as he shyly walks up to the older group, Jimin and Taehyung grinning brightly at him before grabbing him by the hand and dragging him along. More importantly, you can’t help but notice the look of glee on Suri’s face when Jungkook joins the group.

“Wow, I can’t believe you actually got him to leave your side,” Yoongi snorts and you turn your attention back to the group of adults, Namjoon blushing bright red as Seokjin and Hoseok laugh at him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Namjoon sputters and Yoongi gives him a knowing look.

“That you baby the hell out of that boy, to the point that he is quite literally glued to your leg,” Yoongi deadpans, causing Namjoon to blush deeper.

“Come on Yoongi, cut him some slack. He can’t help it if Kook is his baby, he is Namjoonie’s youngest, and the fact that he’s so shy,” Sooyun cuts in as she coos about Jungkook. Yoongi simply lets out a small smirk as he shrugs.

“Moving on, so _____, tell me about you! I heard you were a vet of some sort? At Coex aquarium?” Sooyun says, drawing the attention back to you. You find yourself blushing under the stares of everyone, especially Yoongi.

“Umm… ah yes Sooyun-ssi, it’s where and how I found Jungkook. But I’m sure you know that already,” you reply, the older woman smiling at you.

“I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you here. Ever since Jimin and Taehyung befriended Jaewoo and Sungwoo, I’ve always been the only woman, other than my Suri that is. But you can see why she doesn’t count,” Sooyun laughs, smiling brightly and you nod, responding with your own smile.

“Yes, well I heard you’re a massive Agust D fan. That must have rubbed a sore spot with Namjoon and Hoseok,” Jaebeom stage whispers conspiratorially and once again you find yourself blushing while stuttering, unsure of what to say.

“I-I-I… ummm. I like all their music! It’s just Agust D was the reason I got into rap music and his music and lyrics helped me out in some really tough situations. The lyrics just mean more to me… OH GOD! Not that your lyrics don’t mean anything, they are all very meaningful and quite frankly beautiful but… I’m just going to stop talking now,” you mumble as you trail off from your panicky rant. The searing heat of embarrassment warms your face, all the way from the tips of your ears to your neck while you mentally kick yourself, wondering how likely it was for the ground to swallow you whole.

You find yourself cringing even harder as Seokjin and Hoseok’s loud laughs fill your ears, clearly finding amusement from the situation. Namjoon glares at both of them, silently gesturing to them to shut up, only causing them to snicker louder. From the corner of your eyes, you look at Yoongi, and though his head is slightly turned away from you, you spot the faintest blush on his cheeks, an imperceptible smile on his face. Seeing his smile, you calm down in the slightest, knowing that despite making an ass of yourself, your words are appreciated by the famous rapper.

“Ah, thank you ____-ssi,” Yoongi says quietly, clearly not used to the praise. You grace him with a shy smile, Namjoon looking between the two of you with an unreadable expression.

“Sooyun-ssi, you mentioned being the only woman, surely Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook’s mother is also around to keep you company?” you ask in an attempt to change the subject. However, as soon as the words leave your mouth, you’re filled with instant regret. Instantly, the light, airy atmosphere shifts.

Seokjin and Hoseok immediately stop laughing, drawing up to their full heights as they turn to Namjoon wearily. Namjoon’s gaze immediately hardens, his chin protruding out as he looks away, the muscles around his jaw clenching as he grits his teeth. Yoongi’s features fall, his face turning passive, but you can tell he’s angry from the way his fists are clenched by his side. Jaebeom looks at you in shock, while Sooyun smiles apologetically towards you.

The only noises you can hear are the children still running about and yelling, their laughter juxtaposed by the thick tension surrounding the adults. A couple of moments pass in awkward silence and you’re unsure what to say. Clearly, you’ve hit a sore point. However, just as you open your mouth to apologise, Namjoon finally speaks. He turns his gaze to you and you immediately freeze, eyes slightly wide at the cold, hard stare he levels at you.

“They have no mother,” Namjoon spits out, before turning on his heel and walking away. Seokjin and Hoseok smile tentatively at you before running after him. Yoongi lets out a sigh and walks to the children, Jaebeom following him. You stare wide-eyed at Sooyun, stuttering as you try to find something to say.

“I- Sorry about that. The boys’ mother… it’s a touchy subject. Come on, let’s get you a drink,” Sooyun says, grabbing your hand and dragging you away from the living room and into the kitchen. Once she gets there, she opens the fridge before, “orange or multifruit? What’s your choice?” she asks, holding up two bottles of juice. You make your choice and Sooyun smiles, pouring you a glass before handing it to you. “That’s the only downside about kids’ parties, no alcohol. Take a seat,” Sooyun jokes, smiling before gesturing to one of the chairs in the kitchen. Taking the drink with a slight bow, you take a seat while looking around nervously. Sooyun sits across from you and stares for a couple moments. Shifting under her gaze, you’re unsure of what to say. 

Finally, after long, tense moments, you decide to break the silence. “Ummm, I’m sorry but did I do something wrong?” you ask timidly and Sooyun sighs, rubbing the bridge of her nose before sending you a small, regretful smile.

“Yes and no. Obviously, it’s clear Namjoon’s ex-wife is a sore spot for him. You aren’t at fault because really, you had no idea. But bringing it up… bringing her up around him isn’t a wise decision from what I know,” Sooyun says tentatively and you nod, sipping your juice lightly. Once again, you fall into an awkward silence, unsure whether you should ask or not. A part of you wants to know, but the major half of you knows it’s rude to ask - especially, considering you barely know Namjoon.

“Aren’t you going to tell her?” a voice breaks in, startling you as it cuts the silence. The two of you turn to spot Yoongi leaning against the doorway, his nonchalant gaze trained on you.

“I wasn’t sure whether I should. Besides, I don’t really know anything. Namjoon doesn’t really speak about it,” Sooyun says with a shrug, Yoongi nodding as he pulls up a seat next to you. He continues staring at you, his expression unreadable; making you shift uncomfortably in your seat.

“I think I’ll join Jae in watching the kids,” Sooyun says, excusing herself from the room. You sit up straight, looking at Yoongi warily. Even without knowing he was one of Korea’s most famous and fastest rappers, he exudes a stoic but powerful aura that instantly has you wanting to shrink into your seat.

“I’m not going to bite your head off, you can relax,” Yoongi says after a couple minutes of terse silence.

“I’m- I’m sorry about bringing it up. I didn’t know,” you apologise but Yoongi waves you off, his rings glinting in the light.

“The fact that you didn’t know, means you don’t have to be sorry. Namjoon… tends to overreact when she’s mentioned. Granted, for the right reasons. She was a bitch. But nevertheless, his reaction was over the top and he shouldn’t have treated you like that. He’s equally in the wrong,” Yoongi begins explaining and you relax at his words: now more curious about the situation than anything.

“I… would you mind telling me about her?” you ask, before “but you don’t have to! I understand it’s not my place to ask about it,” you quickly follow sheepishly, looking away as you rub your arm in anxiousness. Yoongi lets out a scoff, causing you to sink into your seat.

“What do you think I came here for? Believe it or not, it’s better if you know. Especially considering it seems like you’re probably going to be in Namjoon’s life a lot more,” Yoongi says, and your eyebrows furrowing, wondering what he means,

“I don’t think I’m all that important and after today, I highly doubt Namjoon will want to see me again anyway,” you reply. Your words cause Yoongi to snort.

“You’re wrong for two reasons. The first is Namjoon is hot-headed when it comes to Jihee. He’ll get over it and as soon as he does and his mind is clear, he’ll feel bad and apologise. Secondly, in case you didn’t already realise, Jungkook is majorly spoiled and babied by Namjoon. If he wants something, and it’s within Namjoon’s means to get it, he’s getting it. Same with Jimin and Taehyung, but especially Jungkook; considering he’s the youngest. Jungkook likes you. He hasn’t stopped talking about you this entire week and it almost drove Namjoon mad. Jungkook wants to see you, he’s attached to you and since he doesn’t get attached easily, Namjoon will make sure you’re somehow, someway in their lives,” Yoongi explains and you nod, unsure of what to do with the information.

It comes as a shock: being suddenly thrust into Namjoon’s world is daunting; not only is he a popular rapper and artist figure, but he’s also the father of three children at a young age of only 24 years old. But when you think about Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook, you can’t help but not care. The children are entirely too adorable - a trap for anyone. You can’t help but want to be a part of their lives. And then there’s Namjoon. Handsome, breathtakingly beautiful Namjoon. With smooth honey-kissed tan skin, a button nose, plush lips and deep dimples. And that was all excluding his god-like proportions. If you hadn’t seen him in flesh, you would have assumed he was some sort of Adonis, sculpted by the gods themselves. That was the unnerving part.

But if you really think about it, you don’t mind being in his life either. In fact, you can’t help but want to be part of his life.

“Namjoon’s ex-wife is Oh Jihee,” Yoongi says, pulling you out of your thoughts with a start.

You stare at him in wide-eyed astonishment, mouth gaping as you stutter. “O-Oh Jihee? As in Korea’s sweetheart, Oh Jihee? Supermodel and highest-paid actress Oh Jihee? That Oh Jihee?” you question in incredulity, Yoongi rolling his eyes before nodding.

“Yes her. She wasn’t always Korea’s sweetheart,” Yoongi spits out the title, tone laced with disgust.

“What happened? I haven’t heard anything about her being married to Namjoon? Or to anyone in general. I mean, we’ve known he has children - but she’s never once spoken about having children. I didn’t even know he was married beforehand - or that she was married to him,” you reply. Your words make Yoongi grunt.

“He tries to keep them out of the public as much as he can. Besides, if the public ever found out his ex-wife is Oh Jihee and that they have children together, could you imagine the field day the press would have? Both of them have covered their tracks as well as they can. They even had their marriage annulled rather than a straight divorce. Took a while, but it happened. This was before she became who she is now. She didn’t want to come off in a negative light. Which she would have considering she neglected and abandoned her children,” Yoongi spat out and you reel back, eyes wide. You couldn’t even fathom giving up children as adorably well behaved as Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook - though, you figure that’s more Namjoon’s influence on them than anything.

“Namjoon and Jihee went to the same high school. It was a classic dumbass cliché. Namjoon wasn’t always as he is now, he used to be the class nerd. Don’t get me wrong, he always had a love for music and we spent a lot of time writing and composing music together. That’s how we met each other. But I digress. Namjoon never really cared for her, he was too busy making music and studying. I think that’s what caught her attention. That almost everyone had a crush on her, but there was Namjoon, practically ignoring her existence in pursuit of his own dreams. She was the most popular girl in school and she was intrigued that someone wasn’t paying attention to her, I guess,” Yoongi begins to explain and you cock an eyebrow, causing Yoongi to chuckle.

“As I said, classic dumbass cliché,” Yoongi replies and despite yourself, you giggle, causing him to let out a small smile before it dies as he continues with the story.

“The weirdest day was when Jihee started noticing Namjoon. It was suspicious at most, considering they ran in different circles. Namjoon didn’t really care for her and just sort of let it happen. It started with her asking him to tutor him, then her asking for him to show her his music. They started hanging out a lot more and eventually, Namjoon fell for her. And he fell hard. I can still remember the day they started dating. Almost the entire school was talking about it. School nerd and most popular girl. It was like a damn movie. But they eventually got over it. Namjoon considered himself in love and so did Jihee. Apparently, she liked that he was different. That all changed one-day,” Yoongi continues, his eyes glazing slightly as he stares at seemingly nothing.

{Flashback: Feb 2012}

Jihee: Namjoon, I need to speak to you. Meet me by the plum blossom tree, you know the one.

Namjoon stared at his phone screen in worry, hands shaking uneasily as dread filled him. He had no idea why Jihee had suddenly texted him out of the blue - at 1am at night nonetheless. More than that, he had no idea why she sounded so serious. His Jihee was happy, bubbly and used an excessive amount of x’s and heart emojis. Quite frankly, the text scared him. Countless of thoughts were going through his head, the worst of them were of Jihee breaking off their two-year relationship.

They were both 18 now and soon, they’d be going to university. Namjoon to study a double major in business and music, and Jihee to study the performing arts. That was the best part of their relationship; they both supported each other’s dreams. Namjoon clutched his phone harder. They had survived through a lot, and he considered himself in love. Ideally, he’d want to marry Jihee once they were both done with university. However, her text seriously scared him. He didn’t know what he’d do if she broke up with him.

Namjoon’s legs were screaming as they continued running. He was panting and out of breath, but he knew he had to get to her. Another couple of minutes later, he made it to the old plum blossom tree in the park. He skids to a halt, eyes squinting in the dark, his breath fogging as he panted, gasping for air. Once he finally collected himself, he looked around more clearly. It didn’t take him long to spot her. Even in the dark, in the cold winter night, she looked beautiful. Not that she was ever not beautiful to him. He walked slowly to her, taking in her figure sitting on the frosted grass. Her knees were pulled up to her chest, her face buried between them as her dark long hair cascaded around her.

When he got to her, she looked up and Namjoon’s heart broke as their eyes met, hers filled with unshed tears. Namjoon’s eyes softened as he took in how small she looked. She was always so confident, so full and sure of herself. He’d never seen her look so small or defeated. He immediately crouched down and pulled her into a hug, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close. As soon as she was in his arms, she let out a sob, her body shaking as she began crying in his arms. Namjoon’s heart broke a second time and he simply held her, cooing at her as he tried to calm her down.

“Namjoon… we- we have a problem,” Jihee stuttered, hiccupping every couple of moments as she pushed him away, looking at him earnestly. Namjoon shakes his head, wiping her tears before smiling at her reassuringly.

“Whatever it is, we’ll go through it together,” Namjoon says and Jihee’s lip quivers and then she says it. The words that will change his life forever.

“I’m pregnant,” Jihee confesses and Namjoon stiffens, eyes widening as he looks at her in shock. He tries to speak, stuttering out a few non-sensical words that sound more like random sounds than anything else and Jihee looks at him in fear and worry. It takes him a couple moments to register and process the information. He sits down next to her, staring off into space as he tries to figure out what to do next. There’s no doubt in his mind now, he knows he’s going to stay with Jihee and marry her. But they were still barely adults themselves, going off into university. Finally, he comes to a decision.

“Let’s get married,” Namjoon says out of the blue and Jihee looks at him in shock. This time, it’s her turn to stutter.

“What?!” She screams and Namjoon shrugs.

“I’m being serious. I knew I’d want to marry you after university, but things are just moving quicker than we’d like. I love you Jihee, and I’m willing to stick beside you and raise a family. And I’m not just saying this because you’re pregnant. I mean it. I want to marry you. Ideally, I’d have liked it later on. But now is fine too. It’ll be hard, I can’t promise you an easy life. But, I can promise to love you. We can take up jobs and get Yoongi-hyung to babysit while we attend class. We can do this. Just me and you,” Namjoon says and his steely resolve convinces Jihee. She’s slightly unsure. It seems like hard work and if it were up to her, she’d give up the child. But seeing Namjoon so determined, so ready to commit, convinces her that she’s willing to try. She nods at him uneasily.

“Just you and me Namjoon. Us against the world”, Jihee says softly into the dark night and Namjoon agrees, a silent promise on his lips as he kisses her.

“Just you, me and the baby against the world,” Namjoon whispers against her lips, his hands lightly caressing her stomach.

{Flashback: July 2013}

Namjoon sighs as he enters the small flat. It’s quite cramped and there’s barely space for the four of them, but somehow, he makes it work. He and Jihee had planned for one baby, not two and certainly not fraternal twins. So, it came as quite a surprise when Jimin was followed fourteen minutes later by Taehyung. But, despite how much harder it made their lives, juggling not only university, but their dreams, and two children as well, Namjoon wouldn’t trade his sons for the world. He followed the sounds of baby gurgling and giggles, smiling as he watched Yoongi, Hoseok and Seokjin play with his sons. He continued scanning, sighing when he realised Jihee was nowhere in sight, as usual. Jimin caught sight of his father and immediately squealed in joy, hands reaching out as he grasped the air, motioning Namjoon to pick him up.

Namjoon grinned, deep dimples forming as he took in the sight of his son. Both his sons were on the chubbier side, but Jimin more so, and Namjoon found him unbelievably adorable. Sometimes, he had to refrain from repeatedly pinching and squishing Jimin’s cheeks. It didn’t help when Jimin pouted, plush lips puffing out more than they already did. Namjoon picked his son up, kissing him on the forehead before adjusting Jimin in his hold, allowing him to snuggle in his arms.

Taehyung watched his father and brother, clapping happily from his seat on Seokjin’s lap. Despite being the younger of the two, Taehyung was the more open and the bubblier one while Jimin was a happy but quiet baby. Despite that, the two were as thick as thieves. They were only around half a year old, but they both hated to be separated. They couldn’t even sleep if the two were not somehow touching. It made for adorable photos, Jimin snuggling close to Taehyung as the two slept.

“Typical, as soon as you enter, Jimin no longer wants to hang out with his favourite hyung,” Hoseok pouts and Namjoon rolls his eyes fondly. In reality, he was more than thankful for the three men in his home. He met Hoseok in his music class and Seokjin through Yoongi, as the two were university roommates. The four immediately bonded and he was more grateful than anything that the three helped him take care of his children whenever they could. It meant that Jihee and he could cut down on costs by not needing a baby-sitter unless absolutely necessary.

“Why are you guys still here? I thought Jihee was supposed to be back… three hours ago?” Namjoon asks, looking at his watch. Yoongi glared at Namjoon, in his classic, ‘what do you think happened’ look and Namjoon sighed.

“She had more pressing matters to attend to,” Seokjin spat out. It was no secret that Seokjin hated Jihee. They were both performing arts majors and had met through classes where Seokjin was the teaching assistant. Seokjin had no hard feelings towards her at first, she was driven and always wanted the lead roles but that was a good thing considering the modelling and acting industry was cut-throat at best. However, his hatred towards her developed when he met Namjoon through Yoongi. Seokjin started hating her when realised that Jihee was neglecting her sons and husband, putting all parenting duties onto Namjoon, while she did her best to pursue her dreams. Even if it meant ignoring her family.

“Please don’t start. It was a hard day at work and I still have to finish my assignments. Not to mention I haven’t been able to finish that demo track because of how swamped I am. I don’t want to argue about Jihee on top of this,” Namjoon says and Seokjin immediately deflates, warily taking in the sight of Namjoon. He looked almost defeated, completely downtrodden and tired. Namjoon’s words and haggard form, however, only aided in incensing Yoongi further.

“You can’t keep doing this Namjoon! It’s not fair. You’re supposed to support each other. But here you are, working two jobs to support your family, juggling not one but two degrees and putting your own dreams of making music on the backburner while what? While Jihee just runs around doing what she wants? Chasing her own dreams while you neglect yours? She even quit her fucking job, making you take up another one. She’s never at home to take care of the boys. You’re basically a single dad|” Yoongi grits out and Namjoon winces, holding Jimin closer and bouncing him in his arms.

“Hyung stop now is not the time,” Hoseok says, he can tell Namjoon isn’t in the mood for this conversation. And no matter how much he agrees with Yoongi, Hoseok knows that right now, an argument is the last thing Namjoon needs. Especially with his sons in the room. Yoongi however, ignores Hoseok and continues laying into Namjoon.

“Tell me Namjoon. Why are you still with her? She’s barely at home and when she is, she’s either lounging around or asleep. So why do you still stay with her? Is it out of love? Do you even love her anymore? Or are you just staying out of obligation?” Yoongi asks, his words driving through Namjoon like a knife. Namjoon tenses, pulling Jimin even closer into his body, but still making sure not to hurt him.

If Namjoon was being honest. Yoongi was right. He was staying with Jihee out of obligation. He no longer loved Jihee, nor did he feel anything for her. The love had died sometime after she had given birth. Perhaps it stemmed from the fact that Jihee never grew up and took responsibility, placing it all on Namjoon. Perhaps it stemmed from the distance between them. Perhaps it stemmed from his resentment with her for practically leaving the boys motherless. But whatever the reason was, Namjoon knew he no longer loved her. At least, not the way he used to.

“You need to think about this Namjoon. Maybe it’s worth leaving her. For your own sake and for the sake of your sons” Yoongi finally says, ending his tirade and the four are plunged into a heavy silence. Yoongi’s words echoing in the back of Namjoon’s mind.

{January 2014}

Namjoon enters his flat with a sigh, rubbing his eyes wearily. He throws his bags onto the floor by the door before walking through the dimly lit corridor. He’s surprised by the fact that the living room light is on. It was half-past midnight and his sons should be asleep considering it’s well past their bedtime, especially for one-year-olds. He assumes it’s most likely Yoongi still up after a night of watching the boys but he’s surprised when he enters the living room, only to spot Jihee sitting, staring at the doorway.

“What are you still doing up Jihee?” Namjoon asks, quirking an eyebrow. Usually, by now, Jihee was already in bed if she was home. If not, she was out partying under the guise of ‘creating contacts’. Namjoon had grown wiser to her excuses over the year, however.

“We need to talk. Something has come up” Jihee says, eyeing him warily, her lip pulled between her teeth. Namjoon cocks his eyebrows once again before nodding, taking a seat opposite her.

“Do you remember Jimin and Taehyung’s first birthday?” Jihee asks and Namjoon nods. It was one of the only days Jihee had been home the entire day. Even if it was at Namjoon’s behest. Namjoon could accept her wanting to follow her dreams, he could even accept all the responsibility for his sons. But he needed her to be there on their birthday, it was the only thing he asked for from her since the boys were born. He needed the boys to at least believe and see they had a mother, even if it was only in pictures.

“What about it?” Namjoon asks, wondering where she’s going with this.

“We slept together that night,” Jihee states as a matter of fact and Namjoon nods. It was probably a mistake, but it had been a good month since the two of them had slept together. In fact, sleeping with Jihee was probably the most contact Namjoon had with her since the boys were born. The two never dated, never went out together and didn’t even hang out anymore. Namjoon had no idea who her friends were, or what was happening in her life. The only time they were together was when they needed to relieve stress and tension and during that, they were too busy fucking to speak about their days.

“Yeah, okay. What about it?” Namjoon asks, an uneasy feeling in his stomach.

“I’m pregnant again,” Jihee says blankly, staring him dead in the eyes and Namjoon stiffens before exploding.

“HOW?! We’ve always been so careful! Is it even mine?” Namjoon shouts, eyes narrowing and Jihee looks affronted by his accusation. Namjoon immediately regrets his decision to yell when twin cries are heard from Jimin and Taehyung’s bedroom. He sends her a quick glare before stalking into their room. As soon as he sees them, his eyes soften and he coos at them, picking them up and bouncing them in his arms to quieten them down.

“How dare you even ask me that?” Jihee spits back, her teeth gritting while Namjoon rolls his eyes.

“Please be quiet, can’t you see I’m trying to put them back to sleep? And oh, don’t give me that look. I know you’re sleeping around. Jin-hyung told me. And quite frankly, I don’t care. I just want to know if the baby is mine or not,” Namjoon snaps back and Jihee reels back, Namjoon getting a sick sense of satisfaction from her look of guilt.

“Right, well. It’s definitely yours. I’ve been using protection with everyone else and I make sure they pull out before they cum, even if they’re wearing a condom. You’re still the only one I sleep with unprotected,” Jihee replies and Namjoon lets out a sigh. He finally calms down the boys and puts them back in their cots, watching them with gentle eyes. He reaches down and runs his finger along Taehyung’s face, bopping his nose and watching with a smile as Taehyung snuggles into his hand before drawing closer to Jimin. Namjoon closes his eyes, rubbing his face in weary frustration before turning to Jihee. He motions her to follow him out of their room, before turning around and closing the door, leaving it slightly ajar in case the boys begin crying at night.

“So, what do you want to do?” Namjoon asks, turning back and staring down at her.

“I was thinking of having an-“ Jihee begins nervously and Namjoon’s ire rises.

“Don’t- don‘t say it,” Namjoon cuts her off and Jihee narrows her eyes.

“It’s my body Namjoon. You’re not the one who has to go through the pregnancy. I am,” Jihee seethes back and Namjoon’s shoulders deflate.

“Fuck. You’re right. You’re right.I- It may be hard, but I don’t want you to go through with it. It’s my child too and I don’t want you to just… get rid of it. But whatever you decide, I’ll stick by it. Whether I like it or not,” Namjoon responds finally and Jihee nods.

Namjoon watches Jihee contemplate her next decisions with bated breath. Nervousness fills him. He knows that getting rid of the child is the easier way out. Not that it would be easy, but with the twins already and with how hard he has to work to support them, he knows there’s no way it’s possible for him to bring in another child into this world. But the thought of even getting rid of the child makes his stomach turn. He imagines what would have happened to Jimin and Taehyung if they had decided to have an abortion back then, and his heart breaks even more. He can’t imagine a world without his sons and he knows that if they go through with this now, years down the line, he’ll wonder what his life would be with the child they lost.

“Okay. Fine. We’ll keep the baby. Against my better judgement. I don’t know how this will play out Namjoon, and I hope you know the sacrifice I’m making to my career for this. To make you happy. Because despite everything, part of me still loves you and wants you to be happy. And if that means keeping this baby, so be it,” Jihee finally responds, and Namjoon sighs in relief. He steps forward and hugs Jihee, Jihee stiffening at the affectionate touch.

“Thank you” Namjoon whispers into the night and Jihee nods, her fists clenched by her sides and wondering if she’s made a mistake.

{January 2015}

Namjoon and Hoseok smile brightly at each other, dressed in their graduation robes and hat. Seokjin and Yoongi stand beside them. Both had already graduated but were back to see Hoseok and Namjoon graduate. Yoongi was holding a small 5-month old Jungkook in his arms, the baby sleeping, soft snores escaping him every now and then. Seokjin was holding Jimin and Taehyung’s hands, both standing up on either side of him as they squirmed, trying to get closer to their father. Seokjin however, had a tight grip on them, lest they ruin Namjoon’s rented graduation clothes.

“I can’t believe we made it,” Namjoon says, staring at his reflection in shock. His hair was styled so it was out of his eyes, dressed smartly in a suit. Now at 21, he looked almost unrecognisable from the 18-year-old who had just become a father and was struggling between university and children.

“I can’t believe you graduated with not one but two degrees at the top of your class all while being a father. I barely graduated myself,” Hoseok responds and the four of them laugh.

“Did you forget you’ve also graduated in two degrees? Music and Dance? Not to mention you’re the top of the class in Dance,” Namjoon replies and Hoseok laughs loudly, his laugh setting off Jimin and Taehyung.

“Have you seen Jihee?” Hoseok asks after a while and Namjoon sighs.

“No. Not since exams at least. She’s graduating at the top of her class too though, so she’ll be bound to be here at graduation somewhere,” Namjoon replies with a shrug.

“Is she not going to see the boys at all? You’d think she’d want her husband and children with her,” Yoongi spits and Namjoon wants to respond, but he can’t find it in him to defend Jihee. In the two years of Jimin and Taehyung’s life, Namjoon can count the times she was a real mother on his two hands. However, with Jungkook, Jihee was completely different. She practically ignored his existence and didn’t interact with him at all. That was the line for Namjoon’s tolerance of her. He couldn’t accept her cold ignorance of their youngest son. Since Jungkook was born, Namjoon decided to leave her on her own. He didn’t even ask her to spend the twins’ birthday with them. Instead, the day was spent with Seokjin, Hoseok, Yoongi and his sons at a park enjoying themselves.

“Come on, let’s go. We all need to find our seats, graduation begins in half an hour,” Seokjin says, ushering the lot of them out. The ceremony flies in a blur, Namjoon too focused on how his sons are faring with Yoongi and Seokjin to care. He watches as Hoseok is called up, clapping loudly as his best friend takes his diploma. Some more time passes and then it’s his name.

He stands up proudly, and walks to the Principal, collecting his diploma. He spots his own parents, staring at him in pride. He spots his sons, Taehyung sitting on Seokjin’s shoulders, while he holds Jimin up in his arms, all three of them waving happily. Yoongi even lifts a now awake Jungkook up, making the little boy wave. Namjoon’s smile deepens and he has to blink away the tears. It had been a hard few years and he was more tired than anything. But he did it. He made it through everything. For his sons.

Briefly, Namjoon catches the eyes of Jihee’s parents, her mother glaring harshly at him while her father smirks smugly. However, Namjoon is filled with too much happiness and pride to care. He walks off the podium and back to his seat, mindlessly listening as more names are called. He hears Jihee’s name being called out and looks over to her. The two catch eyes and his brows furrow at the slightly guilty look in her eyes when she spots him. He briefly wonders what it means but decides to ignore it instead. Finally, a couple of hours later, graduation is over. Namjoon looks around for Hoseok, however, his search is halted when Jihee walks over to him nervously. He looks at her in confusion and opens his mouth to congratulate her, however, he’s cut off by her words.

“Namjoon. Can we go somewhere to speak? Privately?” Jihee asks and Namjoon’s eyebrows furrow but he nods his assent, following Jihee. Momentarily, he catches Hoseok’s eyes and gestures for him to head back to Yoongi and Seokjin. Jihee pulls him to the side, away from the bustle of graduation and Namjoon watches as she rummages through her bags until she pulls out some papers.

“Let’s get an annulment Namjoon,” Jihee finally says and Namjoon stands in shock, blinking owlishly at her words.

“What?!” Namjoon sputters and Jihee sighs.

“Please. You and I both know this isn’t working out. I’ve had this planned for a while. Since I was pregnant with Jungkook actually. The only reason I went through that pregnancy was that I knew it would make you happy and because I knew that when I asked for this, I’d have more leverage for you to say yes,” Jihee begins and Namjoon’s anger begins to rise.

“Leverage? Did you agree to have Jungkook as leverage? Fucking hell, he’s our son, not a bargaining token. I would have signed these fucking papers with or without him. What the fuck is wrong with you Jihee?” Namjoon spits out, tone laced with disgust and Jihee reels from his anger.

“Namjoon calm down. A family was never what I wanted. You know that. I’ve been scouted by a company, and my parents and I think it’s best if I separate from you and your sons. If you sign these papers, our marriage will be annulled, as if it never happened and I’m even giving you full custody. They aren’t my sons anymore. But let’s be real they never were. Besides, you’ve practically given up on your dream and I can’t see you going anywhere anytime soon and that could negatively impact my future. Both my parents and my agent think I need to do what’s best for my career and I agree. So please just sign the papers,” Jihee says and Namjoon’s fists clench tightly.

“I’ve given up on my dream? Are you fucking insane? Or maybe you’re so far up your own ass you didn’t even realise you put all the responsibility of raising my sons onto me. I didn’t have time for a fucking dream between juggling my two degrees, two jobs and my two, - now three - sons while all you did was fuck about and follow your own dreams selfishly. What happened to the sweet Jihee I fell in love with? The one who believed in my dreams as well as her own? The one who’d stick by me through thick and thin. I don’t fucking know you anymore,” Namjoon seethes and Jihee shrugs.

“She grew up. My industry is relentless and selfish. I need to do what’s right for me. I’m sorry Namjoon. Will you sign the papers?” Jihee asks and Namjoon grits his teeth, snatching them away from her.

“Give me a couple of days to read through this. I’m not going to have you cheat me into signing anything I haven’t read. But if everything is fine, I’ll sign the damn papers and we can both get out of each other’s lives. For good,” Namjoon finally snarls before turning and leaving.

“Namjoon, I’m sorry,” Jihee calls out and Namjoon stops in his tracks, stiffening slightly. There’s regret in her voice - mixed with a smidgeon of guilt - and he can hear them both clearly. But he doesn’t care.

“Go fuck yourself Jihee,” Namjoon snorts before continuing to walk away from her.

{End of Flashbacks: Present Day}

“I don’t know if you know, but Seokjin is a chaebol and he let Namjoon use his lawyers to go through the contract for free. Everything was fine, an annulment and Namjoon getting full custody of the boys, with Jihee even signing off her rights as a mother. A couple of months after that, Jin created JinHit entertainment and hired me, Namjoon and Hoseok as his first artists. And well, you know the story from there. Throughout it all, Namjoon tried his hardest to succeed for his sons and eventually, they made it. But, considering the past and everything that happened with Jihee, you can see why he’s so angered by mentions of her,” Yoongi finishes his story, but there’s not much you can do. You’re shocked still, unable to respond. Part of you feels bad for everything Namjoon had to go through, another part of you feels complete admiration for how well he’s done for himself. The last part of you has lost all the respect you had for Oh Jihee.

“Is part of that why Namjoon kept the boys hidden from the public?” you ask cautiously and Yoongi nods.

“Partly yeah. Jihee and Namjoon are both high profile celebrities and with the past, it made the most sense to keep them out of the public eye. Not to mention, he wanted to keep them away from the press and stalkers who could harm them,” Yoongi explains and you nod in response.

“Wow. I wasn’t expecting that. I can understand why he was so angry I mentioned her,” you reply, your tone laced with understanding but Yoongi shrugs in response.

“Perhaps, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t overreact,” Yoongi replies and you open your mouth to defend Namjoon only to be interrupted.

“He’s right. I did overreact and I apologise for that. I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings. It wasn’t your fault and you had no idea about Jihee,” Namjoon says as he enters the kitchen, bowing deeply in apology. You immediately wave him off.

“No, no! It’s okay really! I’m sorry you had to go through that. I’m sure it must have been hard for you and the boys,” you reply and this time Namjoon waves you off. Yoongi nods to Namjoon before getting up and leaving the kitchen, leaving the two of you alone.

“Not really. Jihee was never around even when we were together. The boys have never known what a mother is. I’m their only parental figure along with Seokjin-hyung, Yoongi-hyung and Hoseok. But I don’t think they’ve had a bad childhood you know? It may have been hard, but I did whatever I could to give them a good life. I tried to take them on tour whenever I could, so I could show them different places and teach them about different cultures. Everyone will tell you I spoil them but can you blame me? I know they’re missing a mother and I don’t want them to feel like it’s their fault they don’t have one. So, I do whatever I can for them. Even if it means spoiling them to distract them from what they are missing,” Namjoon says sagely and you smile timidly at him.

“I don’t think they’re spoiled. I think they’re wonderful children and you’ve raised them well. And even if they are missing a mother, I don’t think they’re missing out on much because it seems like you’ve been the best parent figure you could be. It may not mean much coming from me because I don’t know you well enough, but from what I’ve seen, you’re a wonderful dad Namjoon and they’re great kids. Really great kids. You did well,” you say earnestly and Namjoon smiles softly at you.

“It does. Mean something that is. Thank you,” Namjoon responds sincerely. The two of you sit in the quiet of the kitchen, the silence heavy with emotion but not uncomfortable. It doesn’t last long however, cause suddenly the twins are running into the kitchen, their eyes lighting up when they spot you.

“____-noona! You came! Daddy, why didn’t you tell us?” Taehyung asks, stomping his foot slightly and both you and Namjoon laugh at his gesture.

“Sorry tiger, but you were so busy playing with Jaewoo and Sungwoo, I didn’t want to disturb you,” Namjoon says and this time Jimin pouts.

“You’re being selfish daddy, you can’t have ____-noona to yourself! We want to play too,” Jimin pouts, latching onto your leg and the both of you blush when you hear Sooyun, Seokjin and Hoseok snickering from the doorway.

“Yeah, you’re being selfish daddy,” Hoseok teases, copying Jimin’s words and emphasising the word ‘daddy’; making Seokjin and Sooyun laugh even louder.

“Alright, alright. That’s enough. I think it’s time for cake, don’t you? I got Jiminie’s favourite,” Namjoon says as he walks to the fridge, pulling out a large frosted cake. Jimin squeals, running up to his father and jumping up and down to try and get to the cake. Namjoon only laughs, before gently calming Jimin down.

“Calm down pup or daddy will spill the cake and you won’t get any,” Namjoon says gently and immediately Jimin stills, eyes wide in fear at the thought of not getting any cake. Namjoon carefully takes the cake out into the living room, everyone except Seokjin following him. You begin walking behind the entourage only for Seokjin to stop you with a mischievous smile.

“So, you don’t happen to have a daddy kink by any chance?” Seokjin teasingly asks with a wink and you immediately stiffen, face flush with heat from your embarrassment. Seokjin takes in your appearance before running away, his squeaky windshield wiper laugh following him and leaving you all alone in the kitchen.

You immediately smack your cheeks and shake your head, trying to get his words out of your mind. now that you think about it, maybe you do mind being in Namjoon’s life.

Especially if it means you’re the constant victim of Hoseok and Seokjin’s teasing.

A/N: Hi! Thank you so much for reading! If you liked this chapter, why not check out my other stories? ^.^

▷ Masterlist | Chapter 3

#hyunglinenetwork #kpopwonderlandtag #kwritersworldnet #bangtanarmynet #bts au #bts fic #bts imagine #bts namjoon #bts namjoon x reader #bts rm x reader #bts rm #namjoon x reader #rm x reader #namjoon smut #namjoon fluff #namjoon angst #dad!joon #dad!namjoon #rm smut #rm fluff #rm angst

[bittysvalentines]

Cafes and Triumvirates

From: @hargreeves-and-wine 

To: @omgtranspoindexter 

Summary: Love is a mosaic, if one takes the time to think about it. The way we feel for those who love is comprised of all the moments we share with them. In sickness and in health, for better and for worse. Over the course of a day, Chowder, Dex, and Nursey find themselves dwelling on moments that make them fall in love with their partners all over again. 

Rating: T

Content warning: One mention of offscreen (but legal) drinking.

Happy Valentine's Day! I hope you enjoy this fic!

                                             Chowder - The Morning

Wiping down the windows was a chore normally despised by anyone who had ever worked in a restaurant. There were always the streaks that could never be properly cleaned away, no matter the angle at which you wiped them. Reaching up to get the top edges would often result in the cleaning liquid running down your arm. Hell, it only took a bug that was flying haphazardly for your hard work to be ruined.

Yet Chris regarded it as the second best part of doing the opening shift; the first, of course, being the pastries and cookies that were delivered first thing in the morning from Bittle’s Kitchen down the block. From their perch 15 inches off the ground, they were able to reach and clean the windows with ease. Each swipe of the squeegee helped reveal another slice of the daily lives of the other residents of Samwell Street. 

There was Lardo, putting the finishing touches on a large mural she had been commissioned to paint on the side of the Knight, O’Meara, and Wicks Law Office. Further down the way, they could see Ransom and Holster walking their troop of dogs and a cat (who, Chris had been told, was raised around dogs since birth before the men adopted her). Even from behind the glass and fairly heavy front door of the Samwell Stoop, they could hear Holster’s joyful voice bouncing off of the cobblestones of the street.

Only one sight, however, could bring a full on grin to Chris’ face at this hour of the morning. Just in front of the pane of glass, Dex was busy checking off the week’s supplies that had been brought in the delivery truck while Nursey was bringing down a large box of milkettes and creamers with one arm. The moment that Dex turned around to confirm something with the driver, Nursey snagged a butter tart from the platter the former was saving to give to said driver.

“Well, thanks again, Johnson,” Dex finished as he handed a paper back to the driver. “We actually saved you a little something for your- Nurse! What the hell?” 

Nursey shrugged as they offered out the other half of the tart. “Did you want one?” They, thankfully, had the good grace to swallow before speaking.

“You are simply unbelievable, stealing a gift of all things.” Despite his chiding, Dex indeed took the offered tart and popped into his mouth before giving Johnson the rest of the platter. “Now you better take this before my idiot partner gets their hands on more of them.”

As Johnson got into his truck and pulled away, Nursey hugged Dex from behind and pecked his cheek. “You know, you’re adorable when you blush,” they murmured, only causing Dex to turn an even darker shade of red.

With a friendly tap on the window pane with his squeegee, Chris got the attention of both of his partners. They honestly didn’t mean to be a voyeur; in fact, they weren’t sure if they could be one since they were dating the two of them. Still, Chris figured they would appreciate being informed that they weren’t alone.

“Oh shit, Chowder!” Dex abruptly pulled away from Nursey and hurried inside the cafe with one hand behind his back. It was only when they climbed down from the stepstool that Chris saw what Dex was hiding. “You didn’t think we’d actually forget to save one for you, did you?”

The moment they’d taken a bite out of the butter tart, Chris was crushed in a tight hug between the two of them. Nursey’s aftershave and Dex’s cologne enveloped them in a feeling that could only be described as home.

                                              Dex - The Afternoon

“What do you mean you’re out of maple pecan pie?”

Will, who was using his break in the back room to be out of his binder for a while, could just hear the complaint. As he peeked outside to see what was going on, he could see a guy who stood at a height of about 6’4 at the counter, staring down Chowder. Just behind them, Derek was handing a girl her cup while watching the situation at the same time.

“Look, sir.” Chowder may have been slightly dwarfed by this man, but one didn’t become a goalie by showing their fear. “We only get so many pies delivered at the start of the day, so if we run out, we run out. Of course, I could go over to Bitty’s Kitchen, use my own money to get another pie, and let my partner here take over this massive lineup all by himself. Would that satisfy you, sir?” The conversations in the cafe had given way to silence as the patrons turned to watch.

The tall customer only folded his arms and doubled down. “I paid for a slice of pie, and I demand that I get what I paid for,” he huffed, doing his best to give Chowder something that resembled the evil eye.

Nursey feigned wiping his hands on his aprons, but Will could see that he was actually cracking his knuckles. “You haven’t paid for anything yet. My partner here has tried being civil, but it’s clear you’re not listening.” Even though they weren’t quite at the customer’s height, Nursey had a way of commanding attention when it was needed.

“Is it so wrong to expect a slice of pie with my coffee?”

“If you want pie, then go and get it yourself.”

“I demand to speak to the manager!”

“You already are, asshole.”

Though it was a crisp fall afternoon outside, there was clearly a gathering storm within these four walls. Will had fully emerged from the break room and was about to approach the counter when Chowder silently motioned for him to stay back. It was almost scary to see the perpetually chill Nursey standing with such contempt behind their eyes.

The tension in the air was finally broken when the customer stalked off, muttering something about “ungrateful millennials” as he pushed the door open. Then, Nursey relaxed their stance and turned to the crowd. “I can help someone over here!”

Before too long, Will was due to get back behind the counter. As Chowder passed him on the way to their own break, the two of them stopped to briefly hold hands. A similar blush coloured both of their cheeks when their eyes met.

“You were brave.” Will murmured, longing to wrap his partner in a hug.

Chowder shook his head, though they squeezed Dex’s hand back. “You’d have done the same.”

Once he was behind the counter, Nursey gave him a look as if to say “I’m okay, I’m alright.” Still, Will decided to give their hip a little bump since anything beyond that would probably be seen as unprofessional. While they were technically their own bosses, Will insisted that the three of them treat one another as coworkers as long as they were on the clock. They just happened to be coworkers who snuck in kisses when they had the chance.

                                             Nursey - The Night

It’s been said that the way to a person’s heart is through their stomach, but as far as Derek was concerned, the way to a person’s soul was through their taste in music. They had read a study once that said people’s moods and taste in music influence one another in a type of pseudo-dynamic equilibrium. Or something like that. Derek wasn’t a chemistry student for a reason. 

Chemistry journals didn’t, however, cover what to do when there was the slight catch of you and each of your partners having wildly different tastes in music.

In order to keep outright Armageddon from erupting, the three of them had hung up a calendar in their break room with a schedule for who gets to play music when. Chowder was assigned to Mondays and Thursdays, Dex had Tuesdays and Fridays, and Derek chose Wednesdays and Saturdays. “I guess God gets to pick the music on Sundays,” they joked since none of them would be there anyways.

This particular Saturday had been more stressful than usual with the confrontation earlier. On top of that, it was a deep clean day, so Derek, Dex, and Chowder had been up to their eyeballs in checklists of things that had to be refilled, wiped down, and rearranged. By the time they had finished, it was around eleven at night, a whole three hours after the Samwell Stoop normally closed. So the trio treated themselves to a cuddle pile on the couch in the breakroom.

“Nursey,” Dex whined softly, dragging out the Y. “Can you change your playlist to something less… intense? I’m getting flashbacks to that bootcamp I did back in college.” Although it probably wasn’t intentional, he let his head slump against Chowder’s shoulder, who leaned against him in turn.

With a quiet “Chyeah,” Derek pulled themselves away from his partners to grab his phone. It was probably a bad idea to have the aux cord right behind the counter, but they and Dex usually had the impulse control to not check it. Emphasis on usually. Chowder sometimes struggled a little bit more, but it was decided that it was better to be chewed out by a patron for checking their phone than to have the whole store subjected to an unexpected voice memo of Dex drunkenly singing along to “You’ve Got a Friend In Me.”

For the record, he had scored an 82 on their friend Whiskey’s karaoke machine that night.

So after much deliberation as to slow down the mood, the lively harmonies of the Jackson Five were switched out for the light crooning of Jason Mraz. Though they would take the secret to their grave, the playlist was actually the one that Derek had used for sleeping back in his college days. It was more lonesome than they had realized to truly be on their own in the world. So these songs were the ones they fell asleep to, hoping to have pleasant dreams instead of their usual fitful nights.

Nowadays, they used it for times that they needed to destress. Music wasn’t really a good idea in the bedroom anyways since it was noisy enough with three of them in the bed. Another secret that their would never dare disclose was how their found Chowder’s chainsaw-like snoring actually quite adorable.

“This slow enough for you?” they joked as they tucked the wires back into their little storage cup (one of the mugs that could no longer be used due to the broken handle). Yet, when Derek looked up from behind the counter, they were greeted by the sight of Dex and Chowder slowly swaying to the melody in one another’s arms. Their eyes were closed as they nestled into the crooks of their necks, and Chowder’s hand fumbled around for Dex’s before their fingers were intertwined.

Poetic enlightenment often eluded Derek when they needed it most, but this moment must have been something extraordinary. 

Sun and Moon

Forever in a cyclar chase

Yet neither is ever alone

For stars and clouds are one and the same

Keeping them company

In the wide open sky

While they had never gotten any complaints for their writing volume, it was the closing of Derek’s leather-bound notebook that got their partners’ attention. They broke their hand clasp and reached out towards them at the same time. “Derek,” Chowder murmured, their voice serious, yet gentle as it always was when they used their legal names.

Although they were a quarter inch taller than Dex (they do know how to use a measuring tape, thank you very much), Derek allowed himself to be enveloped in a tight hug between their two partners. “I love you… Will, Chris, both of you… I love you so much.”

Outside, the stars were indeed shining alongside the moon. Most people had either turned in for the night or had dimmed their lights and shut their curtains. Yet in the relative darkness, the Samwell Stoop was a glowing beacon, its yellow brilliance spilling out of the windows. If Derek still had their notebook out, he might have written about how metaphorical it all must have been to an outsider. But they didn’t need words right now; they had everything they could have needed right beside them.

#chowderdexnursey #bv2020 #bitty's valentines #omgcp fandom #omg check please!

[kcwcommentary]

VLD6x02 – “Razor’s Edge”

6x02 – “Razor’s Edge”

It’s a little weird that the second episode of season six is starting literally right where the fifth episode of season five ended. It’s one thing for an episode to start right where the previous one ended, but this episode is starting right where three episodes ago ended. Keith is still standing there surprised to realize that Krolia is his mother. He has tons of questions he asks her, including “How are you so sure?” And her response: “I’m sure.” That’s not an answer. We know so little about the actual blades the Blades wield, but I guess we’re supposed to interpret all this as the blade is somehow genetically coded to a person, and that’s why both Keith and Krolia can affect the same blade? That would be an easy explanation for the show to give to give Keith an answer here as to how Krolia knows he’s her son, but the dialog instead is written to be cryptic-cliché. She follows up, telling him, “We can talk about this later.”

For all how Krolia’s dialog is supposed to suggest that they don’t have time to talk right now, she is just standing there doing nothing, not working to pilot their craft anywhere, not trying to contact anyone else in the Blades, nothing. (Also, can’t they talk as they travel to their next location?) Having the two of them standing there doing nothing, if we’re to believe they don’t have time to discuss this, then makes the scene feel like they forgot to choose any action to animate.

There’s a bit of flashback to explain how Krolia has information that Kolivan and Keith don’t about the unexpected transport lines of quintessence. Krolia apparently studied the ship from which Ranveig got the quintessence he used to make his “weapon,” and she determined that the ship had passed through the “quantum abyss.” That she never bothered transmitting that information to Kolivan/the Blades is baffling.

The description of the quantum abyss is science-sounding nonsense. Neutron stars are real, they’re the core left over when a relatively large star (though not the largest) goes supernova. Despite the name, neutron stars are not exactly stars since they’re no longer undergoing fusion They’re essentially a stellar corpse. A neutron star is small, having a typical radius of just 10 kilometers (for comparison, Earth has a radius of a bit over 6000 kilometers, and Pluto has a radius of a bit over 1000 kilometers). So, Krolia then saying that in this quantum abyss, neutron stars “orbit even larger, dark stars” sounds really silly to me. If her statement is trying to refer to mass instead of volume, neutron stars aren’t particularly massive either, with average masses somewhere between 1.5 and 2 times the mass of our sun. What makes their mass-volume relation interesting is that that much mass fits in such little volume, which Krolia does accurately reference the objects’ high density. You wouldn’t want to get close to a neutron star, but Galra technology should be more than enough to let them maneuver past neutron stars unbothered.

As for “dark stars,” I’ve never heard that term before, and the best I can tell it is either effectively another name for black holes or a name for a theoretical object involving dark matter that could only have existed in the earliest days of the universe. I imagine the word was used in writing this episode because the word “dark star” sounds ominous. So basically, this “quantum abyss” is just a stellar graveyard. Krolia says that the area has “unusual effects on gravitational waves and space-time itself.” The gravity of such an environment might be complicated to calculate and map, but it’s not “unusual.” If the Galra are a technologically advanced civilization such that they can dominate the whole universe, then they should be able to understand gravity of neutron stars and black holes that, while it might not be Krolia’s area of expertise, it wouldn’t be something she would think of as “unusual.”

Finally, the term “quantum abyss” seems so inaccurate, even if the show is trying to make up a name for the area Krolia describes. Nothing about her description makes me think of quantum mechanics, nor is an area full of neutron stars and black holes appropriately described by the word abyss, which is by definition a large, empty area.

Moving on.

Lotor is still talking up Allura, connecting her increasing her abilities to the achievements of Alfor. She’s standing there doing this show’s typical hand-touch-and-glow method of not actually doing anything but pretending something is actually happening. “Our visit to Oriande has taught me more than I ever thought possible,” Allura says. Since the show’s magic system is so undefined and opaque, and she’s doing no differently than we’ve seen her do before – touching something and glow – it doesn’t really feel like she’s learned anything. She thanks Lotor, and he thanks her, saying that she’s the “key to bringing peace to the universe.” I guess all this is supposed to be him still just being manipulative and secretly villainous.

Lotor and Allura nearly kiss before Pidge, Hunk, and Lance interrupt them. Pidge and Hunk are upset that they’ve been left out since they both like technology. Lance, meanwhile, of course is jealous, but his typical aggressive manifestation of his jealousy is interrupted by him accidentally knocking over some tools, which was funny. Allura tells them there’s nothing really for them to do, and Lotor points out that what Allura’s doing is infusing the ship, not building it. Pidge and Hunk are okay not being involved when they realize it’s all just “magic.” Lance, however, still wants to help. As much as I find Lance’s angry, entitled jealousy infuriating, how he ends this scene feeling sad, dejected, and lonely is something I can totally understand and makes me feels sympathetic.

Krolia and Keith arrive at the quantum abyss. The music in this episode is fantastic. It’s some of my favorite in the entire series, and I listen to it often.

Krolia says that Ranveig sent a lot of probes into the quantum abyss trying to track where the quintessence came from. (So, Krolia has known for a long time about this quantum abyss as being the origin point for the quintessence in the unexpected shipments the Blades of Marmora had been tracking. If Ranveig had time to send multiple probes into the area, then Krolia had time to relay information about all this to Kolivan.) “The probes picked up a path that was relatively unaffected by space-time,” Krolia says. This statement is more bad science. Space-time is not some external force that affects you. This situation would be more the opposite of what Krolia says; instead, all the objects in the quantum abyss would affect space-time significantly, and difficulty navigating would be the result of that effect on space-time. In other words, space-time would not affect things, things affect space-time.

She says that they never found out where the path these probes mapped went because the probes were all destroyed by something, and they never identified what. It’s a little noticeable that the dialog was written to try to create tension at the idea of something threatening and destroying the probes, whereas the most likely answer would just be that the path the probes mapped was simply a dead-end. So, this dialog is kind of written to jump to a conclusion.

They are attacked by weird, spiky creatures as they begin their journey into the quantum abyss. After they start being attacked, Keith says, “Krolia, we’ve got trouble.” What a useless line of dialog; she already knows since she’s in the same small ship Keith’s in and could feel the impacts and has all the warning alarms sounding off. The creatures can phase through the matter of the ship and come inside, though Krolia can blow them up with her gun. Krolia asks Keith for ship’s status, and he initially replies, “The ship’s damaged.” You think? The thrusters are offline, and they’re starting to drift because of gravitational pull. Keith and Krolia jettison from the fighter and are left floating in space.

Keith points out that the ship had the necessary coordinates to navigate through the quantum abyss, and Krolia responds, “We’ll have to make do.” Sigh. The idea of making do regarding something this complex is absurd. She continues, “As long as we stay inside the borders of the space-time drop-offs, we should be safe.” This sentence sounds silly to me since space-time is literally everywhere. I guess “space-time drop-offs” are supposed to be areas of space-time where gravity of the nearby objects strongly warps space-time? I think it’s just the wording “drop-off” that’s odd, which has a connotation of something ceasing to be. The writing didn’t need to name it, they could have just described the gravitational affect they were moving to avoid.

Some large object in the quantum abyss explodes or something, sending out a giant blast of light. This made me realize until this point I didn’t notice that the visual depiction of this area that’s supposedly made up of neutron stars and black holes doesn’t look like it. Neutron stars, though they cease fusion, are still bright. A black hole would only be visible as a dark relief against the light of other objects. Given the closeness of these objects and the gravity in the quantum abyss tearing objects apart, there would be a lot of objects with accretion discs, which are also bright. This area is animated as incorrectly dark. Most everything here looks like just shadowy chunks of rock.

Krolia jumps between Keith and the energy radiating out from whatever exploded. I honestly have no idea what’s happening, what these explosions are supposed to be.

Keith opens his eyes to find himself in some endlessly white area that dims enough to show Krolia and his father naming him in front of Keith’s house back on Earth. He then sees a premonition of his upcoming fight with the Shiro-clone. Back to relative normal in the quantum abyss, Krolia tells Keith, “Time collapses this close to dark stars. Going through the light triggers glimpses of the past and the future.” Absolutely not. If the show wants to have Keith have visions of the past and future, that’s fine, but don’t try to give it a science-violating, half-assed explanation. The episode could have just had Keith knocked unconscious, and while unconscious, his metaphysical bond to people could have magically given him visions. But for the show to have spent so much of this episode going space-time this and space-time that to now severe time from space-time and pretend that it functions differently, when the whole point of the concept of space-time is that space and time are actually different dimensions of the same thing, this just does not work whatsoever. I don’t mind the fiction part of science fiction, but I do expect anything science-like included in science fiction to at least somewhat match up with what we know scientifically.

Meanwhile, Lance is still sad. Pidge and Hunk see him upset, and instead of being friends who care about a sad friend, they mock and bully him. I don’t think I could ever be friends with the EPs and writers of this show since this sort of behavior is what they apparently think friendship is. They want us to think that these characters care about each other, but scenes like this show that they don’t.

Things continue to happen with Keith and Krolia, and it’s staring to be uninteresting. Keith is almost spaghettified (that’s a real term for the effect of super high gravity, by the way), but he throws his blade, attached to a rope, into a rock, and Krolia pulls him out of the area where gravity was starting to spaghettify him. Absolutely not. Their muscle strength is no where even slightly close to the amount of force needed to escape that kind of gravity.

There’s another light blast, so we get to see Krolia’s past of her as part of a two-man team looking for the Lions. Her partner orders her to “call it in,” and I can’t help thinking why doesn’t he just call it in then? It’s cheap (supposed) drama. She turns on him and starts trying to blast him. She destroys his fighter, but not before hers gets hit. She crashes on Earth, conveniently right at Keith’s dad’s house. He pulls her out of the wreckage. And we’re then back in the quantum abyss, Keith now having seen that vision.

Keith has another vision of Krolia and his father having found the Blue Lion. His dad suggests the Galaxy Garrison might help them, but Krolia says no. Krolia says that she wouldn’t go back to the Galra even if she could. That she wants to stay and protect Blue.

Lance is alone in the lounge. He’s still sad and upset. The mice come in, and he reacts by saying, “Great. Are you here to make fun of me too?” So, Pidge and Hunk’s behavior earlier most definitely had the effect of bullying on Lance. He has a monologue about his past making fun of people whose hearts have been broken, seemingly taking pride in his having a past of breaking the hearts of others, but then trying to contextualize that behavior as the result of him not knowing what it felt like to truly like someone. His insecurities make a return, as he says, “I don’t have anything to offer [Allura]. I’m just a boy from Cuba, not a space prince like Lotor.” Bringing Lance’s insecurities up again just reminds me how the show does not actually resolve this element of his character. His supposed character growth sort of happens off-screen (if it happens at all). It’s more of the EPs and writers not knowing how to write character growth, so they don’t ever show it. And that’s fundamental to the story this episode is telling about Keith too.

Back to Keith and Krolia in the quantum abyss. Keith points out, “At the rate we’re going, it’s going to take us a lifetime to reach the end.” Yeah, the plot feels aimless, like miscellaneous stuff is happening just to fill time. Keith says they need a new plan, and conveniently giant space whales the two of them should have been able to see from a distance suddenly pop up next to them. Sigh.

There’s another blast of light, and Keith sees Krolia feeding him when he was an infant. Krolia’s blade glows, which alerts her to the very nearby presence of Galra scouts. This is an ability of the blade that comes out of nowhere, so more writing that has things happen just because it’s convenient for the moment. Krolia plans on using some explosives that can’t destroy the fighters, but they can damage their engines (yet said explosions do later destroy a fighter, contradicting the writing here). Keith’s dad goes to do that. Krolia goes to interrogate the scouts, though she doesn’t actually ever interrogate them. A Galra sniper has sight on Keith’s dad from a nearby ridge. He pulls the trigger of his rifle and holds it way too long before the rifle finally fires; it’s unintentionally funny. Keith’s dad is shot, and he falls to the ground.

Krolia attacks two Galra in the Blue Lion cave. The sniper comes in and aims at her, telling her to drop her weapon. She feigns surrendering before attacking them. One Galra escapes her, gets to his fighter, takes off, but then explodes as Keith’s dad finally detonates the bombs.

Back at home, Keith’s dad tucks him in. Krolia says that she has to leave. She now thinks that she can best keep the Galra from getting their hands on the Blue Lion and protect Keith and his dad by returning to the Blades of Marmora and working from the inside to stop the Galra. She gives her blade to Keith’s dad to give to Keith eventually.

Back in the quantum abyss, Keith says that he finally understands why Krolia left, that she “put the mission above all else.” She counters, “That’s not true. I left to protect the person I most love: You.” Another space whale comes by, and they maneuver to get on its back.

The space whale creates its own atmosphere because of course it does. So, Keith and Krolia can breathe on it. We then begin the montage. Out of nowhere a shining object plunges into the back of the whale that turns out to be a sleeping space wolf. There are also giant insect-like creatures on the whale, that they fight off. Keith and Krolia camp. Keith feeds the space wolf. They sleep. More light flashes, letting Krolia see Keith grieving at his father’s grave when he was young. Keith plays fetch with the space wolf. It rains (seriously, the whale has a water cycle?). The space wolf teleports.

Then the montage ends with Keith announcing that it’s been two years.

It’s really all pretty ridiculous. Yes, relativity would have an affect on time that differentiates time passing for Keith and Krolia from the time experienced by people outside of the quantum abyss (the show has never cared about temporal relativity before). The show is using this time-lapse montage to again have character growth occur off-screen. The idea that this experience causes Keith to become a better leader, as the EPs have suggested, is absolutely ridiculous. As I’ve said before, leadership is a set of skills. Like all skills, you have to practice them to get better at them. Keith living with his mom and a space wolf and having no other contact with anyone for two years is not going to improve his leadership skills. Also, the space wolf is pointless. His introduction does not have any narrative weight. It’s just part of the cliché that so many stories have that the ideal life is a boy growing up with his parents and a dog. Don’t get me wrong, I like dogs, but the space wolf’s introduction and effect on the story is so nebulous. It just feels thrown in, not like it’s something necessary for the story.

Allura collapses after having exhausted herself from touching the ship and glowing. Lotor continues to speak supportively to Allura. She then goes to her room, where she finds the mice, who’ve been given a bath by Lance. They tell Allura that Lance loves her, and Allura’s face drops. She’s clearly bothered, in a sad way, not elated by the idea. It makes her eventually ending up in a relationship with Lance seem not like the inevitable outcome of their respective character arcs because she’s not shown being interested in him. It makes that relationship when it happens feel like forced narrative.

The space whale finally makes its way to a red planet. Krolia can detect the type of quintessence Ranveig found from relatively far distant from the planet with just the computer in her arm. Technological capability really is based on whatever the writers want to happen at any given moment. It leaves me feeling unable to anticipate how the world-building of the story can be applied to the development of the plot.

Completely off-screen, Krolia, Keith, and the space wolf somehow make it off the space whale and down onto the planet’s surface. There’s a building there that looks like Galra tech and architecture. Inside, they find a door that opens to what looks like a bright, colorful planet, and in that room, they come across a blond Altean at a stream of water. Romelle.

This time at least, watching this episode doesn’t feel balanced. A lot of the time spent progressing through the quantum abyss ended up feeling like the story was idling, stuck in neutral, just waiting to finally go somewhere. I am not a fan of the time-vision, not just because it has a science-illiterate veneer, but also because it doesn’t do character work as strongly as it could have. It makes the revelations Keith has be a passive thing. He just stands there and has visions. The same content of events – Krolia coming to Earth, her relationship with Keith’s dad, why she left Earth – could have been revealed through having Keith and Krolia talking to one another, having her do the uncomfortable thing of having to tell Keith the story of her past.

The two-year time jump exists for no other reason than to allow them to have Keith’s character development happen off-screen. By scripting it to take two years, the EPs and writers know that character development takes time, but they were unwilling to give it the time it needs. The time jump is a total storytelling cheat used because they didn’t want to do the hard work of writing character development.

It is nice to have the story thread introduced seasons ago of the Blades’ tracking the unexpected shipping lines of quintessence paid off now by having Keith find where that quintessence is coming from. Unfortunately, it means the story is introducing Lotor’s Altean colony, introducing Romelle, and prepping the show to have the “surprise” revelation that Lotor’s a villain all along. I am not a fan of this plotline because it makes me feel the EPs and writers did not fully think through the implications of their writing choices. They were so narrowly focused on wanting to pull off a “surprise” twist of Lotor-is-a-villain-all-along that they didn’t care about that twist nullifying the past storytelling and character work they’ve done. Ultimately, the whole colony story and Lotor-is-a-villain is the result of the EPs and writers wanting to manipulate the audience. The problem is, most of us don’t like being manipulated.

#voltron legendary defender #voltron #vld #voltron criticism #vld criticism #voltron critical #vld critical #vld season 6 #vld 6x02 #commentary

[killian-whump]

OUAT 2x11: Rewatch Blog

Alright, everybody. Buckle yourselves in, because this is gonna be one WILD ride of a Rewatch Blog right here. Today’s episode is “The Outsider” - also known as “The Episode Where Killian Jones Is Attacked with a Bookshelf, Beaned with an Oar, Knocked into the Hold of His Own Ship, Beaten with a Cane, Almost Straight-Up Murdered, Slapped and Demeaned, Having Just About the Worst Day Humanly Possible... Then Gets Hit By a Car”.

There’s going to be a lot of flailing. There’s going to be a lot of GIFs.

And you’ll probably never see another Rewatch Blog from me, because I will be blogging and reblogging content from this episode for the rest of my life, because the sheer quantity of whump in this one episode is mind-boggling.

At any rate, let’s get on with the show!

You know, it’s a good thing Mr. Gold shelled out the money for a nice luxury car, because that trunk space seems to really come in handy for him.

Smee bondage and whump, if anyone’s into that ;)

Oh no, is this the episode with the Mogwai that isn’t actually a Mogwai, but I always think it’s a Mogwai because that’s the name that sticks in my head? I’m terrible at knowing which episode is which unless it’s cataloging Killian whump, then I know all. Anyway, this title card is kinda unimpressive.

Aww... It’s a funeral :( Sweet words from Snow, but I keep wondering who the poor sap is that’s actually buried in that coffin... and did they dig him/her up later and give them a proper burial under their own name? Or just figure, “Eh, that’ll do” and just forget about it?

I love how Pongo doesn’t actually seem sad, too. Easily ignored on first viewing, but on second viewing, he totally looks like, “Dudes... Why are we here?”

Mmm... I love it when Colin’s being aggressive and wicked <3

“I only have enough of this potion for one object.” And I don’t suppose you could, like, make more of it or anything XD This show is so silly sometimes.

Oh, it IS the Mogwai-that-isn’t-a-Mogwai episode. Know how I know? Here’s how I know: That’s the episode Belle makes this epic face in:

I feel you, Belle. I feel you.

Yaoguai. Yaoguai. NOT a Mogwai. Give me 20 minutes, it’ll be a Mogwai again.

“No man has been able to kill it.” Oh, I’ve heard THAT before.

La la la la la, Happy Day, Happy Morning, Happy Library.

OH SHIT, THERE’S A HOT PIRATE IN THE LIBRARY.

Aaaaaaaaaand there’s some improper usage of library resources. Incidentally, this is one of my favorite Hook bestings, because not everyone can say they were bested by a librarian with a cart of books.

Action Hook! Leaping and running...right into that door. Not his best moment. Oh, I know. Let’s hit the door. That should help. (Spoiler: It doesn’t.)

Umm... Convenient cell phone issues, ahoy! That’s always annoyed me.

“I trust you’ve seen one before.” Kinda snarky for someone setting out on a quest with the guy, I mean, at least try to make friends?

Nevermind, that dude’s an asshole. Although to be fair, she was rude first.

“It’s taken me weeks to track the Mogwai Yaoguai here.” “Yeah, I found it in a day.” Seriously, Belle? Seriously?! Tact.

‘I just can’t understand why people are being so mean to me...’

See, I don’t understand the convenient cell phone outage, when Gold’s just going to rush right over and find her and get the whole story from her anyway. Like, what purpose did that odd snafu cause? She could’ve just as easily gotten the message across on the phone or simply said, “Rumple! Help!” and explained more when he got there, and we wouldn’t have to suspend belief that her cell phone just mysteriously stopped getting reception right when she needed it.

Every time I watch this episode, they always leave out the best part.

“I managed to wrangle up a Pop Tart.” Emma, you culinary genius.

“No one is here.” “Yet.” FORESHADOWING!!!!

“This is really not your concern.” HE JUST STRAIGHT UP TRIED TO KILL HER, RUMPLE. I think that makes it her concern. “He attacked me. It most definitely is my concern.” See?! Even Belle agrees with me.

“She died. That’s all that matters.” Ummmmmmmmmm...

Surprisingly good plan, actually. And it makes sense how Smee would know all of this (although how he knew about the shawl is a mystery). I would’ve liked to have seen Smee and Hook reunite, though :(

Wow, Gold... Kinda being a major jerk right now. “How exactly are you gonna help me?!” I mean, it’s a valid question, but seriously. TACT, people.

“Promise me that you going after Hook is just about getting the shawl back.” AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA, no. Kudos to him for not lying here, though.

“Wait, you’re a-” “Yeah, I know.” Heehee! :D

Oh no, the Monkey’s Fist that launched a million headcanons...

To be real, I don’t really buy into the headcanons, since a Monkey’s Fist is a ridiculously common knot and one used as a counterweight on sailing vessels, but I’m always a fan of painful headcanons, so I like it, anyway.

That said, I don’t even know why it was necessary. I mean, he’s a pirate. Seems like a no-brainer that he might’ve come to this realm with, you know, a ship. It just seems like a convoluted way to have Belle be able to use her book smarts to solve a mystery that shouldn’t be a mystery at all.

Awww... Smee is cute as a rat :D

LOL, I love the way Belle walks with the gun, swinging it like it’s a handbag or something. Haha. Gun safety classes. Pronto.

See, now THAT was clever sleuthing, hearing the ship, seeing the birds landing on something that isn’t there... and especially tossing the sand.

Action Belle! Rescuing Archie! Woowoo!

...straight into dish drying. Seriously, the segues on this show...

Umm... Listening in on extensions isn’t really cool.

“How did he get in here?” He pushed the door right open. We watched him do it, like, 5 seconds ago. You didn’t lock the door, obviously. DON’T YOU KNOW YOU LIVE IN A TOWN WITH EVIL VILLAINS RUNNING AMOK? Although, to be fair, those villains aren’t the kind who let door locks stop them, so why bother... but then don’t act surprised when dogs push your front door open!

...Also, giving your kid a dog without asking the people you live with if that’s okay is also not cool. Just saying, haha.

You know, I’d question the likelihood of Hook hiding the key to a locked box literally right next to the box in question, but this is a man who also hid the Shears of Motherfucking Destiny in a tool box in the shed, so...

“That doesn’t belong to you.” Like that’s gonna work, haha.

I knew she shouldn’t have set the gun down.

“You are.” “Me?” Yes, you and your fantastic cleavage.

To his credit, he didn’t just blow her head off right here, when he easily could’ve.

Aaaaaand now it’s time for ridiculously sexual conversating.

Aw, random Millian feels T_T “Because she made it.” T_T

“Died. Like it was some kind of accident. Is that what he told you?” That really was a pretty massive whitewashing Rumple did right there.

“His heart is true... and yours? Yours is rotten.” Okay, Jan.

Heeeeeeeeeeey, that’s not Colin!

No matter what the occasion or the peril, it’s always a good time for puns.

HOOK WHUMP HOOK WHUMP HOOK WHUMP YAAAAAY

“You may want to turn away, Belle. This isn’t gonna be pretty.” I beg to differ. This scene is beautiful, actually. All kinds of blood and pain and wavering voices and begging for death and slapping and humiliation... Yum.

I did warn you guys there would be flailing.

WHY WOULD YOU CUT AWAY FROM THAT SCENE. THIS IS WHY THE MOGWAI ANGERS ME. DON’T CUT AWAY FROM HOOK WHUMP FOR SILLY MOGWAIS OR WHATEVER THEY ARE *flail*

Also, he should’ve been naked. I mean, it makes sense. And... naked.

“Do it! Do it! Kill me! He has to show you how powerful he is. Rip my heart out. Kill me like you did Milah, and then I’ll finally be reunited with her.”

THAT HURTS ME, GUYS. IT HURTS ME T_T My baby...

Rumple’s response makes me laugh every time, though.

‘I MEAN, COME ON, NOW I LITERALLY HAVE TO.’

Oh gods, guys, that slap is my favorite Hook slap ever. It’s just so patronizing and insulting and... AHH, I’M ALIVE.

...and that tiny smirk at the very end. Homeboy’s not done with yoooou :D

Domestic issues over house hunting in aisle three.

It’s really sad when little boys want to build armories to protect themselves from their Other Mom :( Seriously, show. That’s a low blow :(

Well, here we are... Late night drive... Five minutes left in the show... Not like anything much is gonna happen here...

Oh, a random flashback... Evil Queen capturing Belle... Nice, nice.

Only three minutes left now, awww, Gold can leave town <3

Two minutes left now, it’s not like they have time to- OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD SOMEONE SHOT BELLE

OH MY GOD HE LOOKS HOT BLOODY AND FIRING A GUN

“Oh, fear not, she’ll live. She’ll just have no idea who you are.” “What you’ve done cannot be undone!!!” “Well, now you finally know how it feels!” I love that exchange. Really and truly <3

Only one minute to go, there’s no way there could be any more unexpected twists or turns or - OH MY GOD IT’S A CAR

OH MY GOD LOOK AT RUMPLE MOVE

OH MY GOD HOOK GOT HIT BY THE CAR

OH MY GOD LOOK AT THAT FUCKER FLY!

OH MY GOD I THINK HE’S DEAD D:

(Spoiler Alert: He’s not dead.)

OH MY GOD THAT’S THE END

OH MY GOD PEW PEW PEW PEW

#OH MY GOD #2x11 #ouat rewatch #ouat liveblog #watching fairytales #oc #kw reviews

[bushybeardedbear]

So Season 7 of Voltron Legendary Defender... Oh Boy...

I had so much spoiled before watching it. Thanks email alerts. So after seeing so much spoiled already, I started lurking in Tumblr again. By the time I’d actually got round to watching the season I felt like I’d already watched most of it and was primed with all the various thoughts and opinions people were sharing online. In the days beforehand I was up and down like a yoyo on a rollercoaster. Hopeful one day, thinking it’s not even worth watching the next. Hovering my finger over “delete” on both this blog and my fics at points... Even contemplating that right now if I’m honest. Maybe I should have been Bushy Bearded Drama-Llama?

In any case, having finally sat down with rock bottom, possibly even sub zero expectations and watched, here are my thoughts now season seven is over... Well... In short, I think it suffers a lot from being so rushed. And before you say it, no, going in with low expectations wasn’t a self fulfilling prophecy. Psychologically speaking the opposite is true. If we go into something with low expectations, we tend to have a better opinion overall than we would have if we went in with sky high expectations. And whilst it may seem like I hated it so far...? Well, no. I didn’t hate it. There were some parts that didn’t gel with me, but to say I hated it would be an insult to everyone involved. But that doesn’t make it free from criticism. If you care what this bear’s about to growl about, strap in, it’s not a short one. Not kidding. This is long. But I guess I needed to get my feelings down and hopefully have someone patient enough to read it and see that I’m not completely insane. And, thought I shouldn’t have to say this... None of this comes from a place of hate. No, I don’t think regardless of how you feel about this season that hatred to the creators is ever acceptable. If you feel you must, then voice your grievances calmly, rationally, but the second you resort to hate you have already lost. Though what I would suggest is to just accept this season as it is and move on.  Moving on is partly why I’m compelled to write this post. Maybe if you are going to read this monster, bring some caramel to counteract the salt...

The Season Itself

So within the first episode, I’m already full of mixed emotions. Yes, the Plance moment was great. Yes, the dynamic between Hunk and Romelle was cool. Coran was great, supportive Crolia, the none too subtle dig at Prometheus as Lance and Pidge ran from the grass... (Don’t think we didn’t spot that you writer rascals! Run at an angle!) I remain in Sheith Limbo trying to reconcile they met when Keith was literally a child and relationships can grow and develop with a worried dash of will people misinterpret this as grooming if they got together...? But a lot of it was by the by. Honey I Shrunk The Paladins was a great fun start to the series interspersed with great emotional character building for Shiro and Keith. It fleshed them both out in ways I wish we’d seen sooner and as others have pointed out drastically reframes a lot of the protective over Shiro moments in the context of his degenerative disease. And yet, it doesn’t make Shiro a victim, nor Keith a white knight, it keeps them both flawed yet strong heroes. Tiny cute paladins, Lance’s cargo pilot reference. As always the design of the planets is gorgeous. Lance sharpshooting. The attention to detail with little things like in scale surface tension! I can’t overstate how much time, effort and thought has gone into this! The narrative parallels of the speeder bikes. Honestly, there is SO much to unpack in just one episode that could easily be overlooked as silly and/or filler. But it’s so much. Keith’s growth is such fun to watch, confirmation of certain fan theories is great yet so sad at the same time...

It allowed Romelle to actually have a character that wasn’t just “Lotor Plot Delivery Service” and her interactions with Hunk were pretty adorable. “Are all ancient Alteans like this?” Was a great subtle piece of world building as well. And yeah, pretty sure I saw @hailqiqi mention this already, but Hunk and Romelle are so the audience surrogates. The one and only thing that bugged me, given the fact that so much of Voltron has had to be rushed or cut for time... Did we really need the flashbacks in this episode shown twice back in the quantum abyss episode...? Couldn’t that time in the QA been used for something else...? But that’s a very minor gripe. Overall, I massively enjoyed this episode but I’m still nervous given the priming from the fandom going forward... But that last hug? Saving Shiro with his voice / quintessence maybe?

The Road home starts off well, though the idea that still nobody knows or comments on Katie’s name being such did disappoint me a little... The space road trip starting up was so cute, even if Lance’s logic of passengers is lost on me...aside from maybe cutting Pidge some slack. Let me Headcanon that little touch of unconscious favouritism, yeah? Though his taking charge in the battle here, being the right hand man, was really nice to see here. From the audience perspective, he may be stating the obvious, but in canon, that’s what we call battlefield awareness. Imagine season 1 Lance doing this? Nah. Buthe’s had no growth, so people say... “It’s super dangerous, it’s perfect!” Wonderful! And Keith’s leadership! Great stuff. (Almost) Everyone getting a chance to shine in the cave combat was also awesome. Full on frenetic energy, a little flourish of comedy from time to time, great characterisation, calm before the storm leading to a sudden yet satisfying cliffhanger? Full on Voltron to a T.

"I will help you look for that passage.” Is a cute Plance moment that others are overlooking I feel. Coran’s memoirs are something I would personally read the hell out of. I don’t know about the rest of you. But seeing the entire saga retold through Coran’s eyes...? I’d love to see it. I’m also kinda happy to know how “Acxa” is pronounced! The slow reveal of the time skip up until the reveal at the end is nice, though honestly not as mysterious as the show seemed to think it was. Maybe it was just that I got spoiled? Evil power couple were great as well and it was nice to see the ice pop mystery solved. A return of Altean shapeshifting was nice to see. “Sweet on that one with the flippity hair” and “your favourite paladin” “never wanted to kill him” “true love”? Seems a little out of left field. Unexpected? Maybe not, just rushed? Axca and Keith seemed a little sudden. To me felt like they just needed to pair a spare and keep Kieth and Allura apart. Which, I get into later. Keith being able to transport his bayard seems...fine...? Why are people complaining about this? Paladins summon their bayarads all the time. He just did it from a few extra feet...?  I do wish Coran had a chance to play to his strengths though. Aside from his courage. He has brains and feels like he needs to use them more or be written in scenarios where he can use them. The three year time skip, when revealed, seems like it was just a convenient way to avoid the immediate aftermath of Lotor losing the throne. It works in that regard I suppose. But by the end of this episode I wasn’t really sold on it.

Nice new haircut though Axca. Really sells the redeemed rebel former baddie archetype. And thank goodness for your exposition. Tell don’t show, am I right? One of the ways we can see the show was rushed I feel. Though again, maybe just being picky...

The Game Show Episode. I was expecting this later in the season honestly. It was good for comic relief I guess, so it served it’s purpose. Seeing the first family of the Galra along for some comedy was great if only for Neil Kaplan having such fun. But it felt like it was missing something. I can’t quite put my finger on what. It was nice to get insight into how the Paladins feel about each other but again, it felt like a way to get those ideas and characterisations out into the open without having to, y’know, show them in natural narrative progression. It’s probably the weakest of the comedy episodes so far and it felt a little like it was all just happening until it eventually stopped. It didn’t feel like the little hints of “tv flickering” implying something artificial were necessary. In fact, as soon as I saw the concept I thought “so, all powerful being captures them for reasons?” and that’s pretty much what we got. It was...ok. Just ok. And y’know what...? After seven seasons, maybe we do need to drop the “Lance is the dumb one” joke? I mean, yes, he’s not as smart as the rest of the team. No doubt. But if he’d been given a chance to shine on his own terms, with his own abilities, if they’d subverted the goofball archetype rather than doubling down on it I think this would have made for a more interesting episode. Just because it’s comedy doesn’t mean it doesn’t have to be compelling. The Voltron Show for instance literally dealt with Coran pushing himself so hard to help the Paladins that he was willing to resort to what was essentially a mind altering drug and forcing himself to kick the habit. Where was the actual plot in this episode? Funny moments need a framework and this kinda lacked a framework in my opinion.

Really episode 5? A Kobayashi Maru scenario...? Indeed, running a simulation when the lions are running on fumes...? Ok, you do you I guess... Little self referential humour from Coran was nice, but a little on the nose. And honestly, I think these episodes are starting to feel like, I dunno, filler material? Like, nothing is really being furthered in terms of the massive plots they still need to deal with. Did the journey back to Earth really need to take so many episodes, or could these have been more efficiently used to deal with countless plot threads that remain unresolved...? It’s a strange thing to be feeling at this stage, but maybe there’s more to come...?  And...it felt like another clip show filling out the backstory of the three years of Voltron being missing... Maybe it’s just me, but if you have written yourself into a scenario where the only way out is repeated massive exposition dumps... Maybe you need to rethink your story just a touch...? The fact it was also told from an unreliable narrator also means it wasn’t just exposition...it was literally pointless exposition that was likely mostly a combination of lies and half truths. And I’m sorry but, were people really clamouring for a rematch between Keith and “That One Nameless Druid...?” Really? You won’t hear me denying it was cool fight scene, yes indeed, but the set up wasn’t exactly great in my opinion.  As for how Keith managed to win? Ok, sure, I guess summoning the Bayard from a few feet was a build up to something else, something even more special that may or may not get resolved this season. I’m writing these as I go. Or will it be one more plot point that will need to be resolved in the next season with limited time and episodes to do so? Keith and Krolia’s goodbye was sad. I do hope for a reunion, but honestly don’t expect it. I imagine she’ll die off screen for shock value. Sadly, I already know the fate of Altean colony and why Haggar has forsaken her druids, so, no real hook for me there. 

So the halfish way point. Lost in space, desperately trying to force plance out of every interaction... And ultimately, just getting bored. I mean, yes, I get that they need to reconnect with each other... But there are countless ways it could have been resolved other than this. It didn’t really feel like there was need for this particular journey into the darkest cave. It also feels a little forced that after saving countless realities by working together, they now all get forced apart...? Hunk saving the day, saving the team, great. Really wonderful stuff. He’s been overlooked for so long. But the idea that they needed to become friends again...? To reconnect...again...? I don’t know that it felt necessary. If after all these years, literal years together there isn’t already a profound connection...? I just can’t really buy that. And again, it felt like a filler episode. And Hunk Priming the audience for the concept of passing the torch? Yeah, that didn’t go unseen.  Maybe it’s just me, but after six episodes where it was already established that they can travel at crazy speeds to be told “yeah no, it’s not that the lions were drained, it’s just these people who’ve literally saved the universe together aren’t quite best friends enough...”? That just feels silly.  And yes, I know “silly” is relative when we’re talking about a powerful group of robot magical cat things that are powered by love and freindship. BUT what I feel was silly was the idea that their friendship was strained at all. It felt as though the season wanted there to be this divide between them but...the comedy episode just a little while ago established they’re all willing to sacrifice themselves for each other.... 

That’s just....fundamentally contradictory. Are you guys barely even connected as friends or are you willing to die for each other? You can’t be both... It makes the whole “struggle” of getting back to Earth feel false because it’s predicated on the assumption that they’re a fractured team this episode yet there’s been literally no sign of that until now... Still, as always, the visuals were cool. The Space Angler Fish is a great concept. The music was great. The voice acting was on point. Everything was so SO good except...the writing... The writing in this particular episode in the context of everything preceding it just felt... Bad. Rushed. Forced. Contradictory. Drama for the sake of drama. Artificial... What’s going on guys...?

So a multiparter? Let’s see. Ok. Seeing how awesome Sam Holt is, fine. Seeing him reunite with Colleen. Also fine and dandy and cool. And it tugged at the heart strings... But do we really need him to literally tell us everything we already know in a power point presentation...? The audience doesn’t need to be caught up on the events.We don’t need a massive chunk of the episode’s run time devoted to playing catch up. We have the time for this, but apparently - according to the spoilers - we don’t have time to establish that Allura is getting over Lotor and Falling for Lance...? Not even a throw away line, or a glance, or a suggestion of that fact that needs establishing after her season six reaction to the mice... But we do have time for the events of the show to be repeated to us...? What!? I am literally bewildered at this choice. Flabbergasted. Gobsmacked.

The worst thing about this so far, is that under all the EXPOSITION there’s a great story that wants too be told. I think we’re only seeing fragments of that story. Sam and Coleen struggling to find their children again and fighting against political nonsense. But real talk... This was all stuff that could have done just fine implied. The Paladins arrive on Earth, they see the new ships piloted by their inevitable replacements in the new series they seem to want to make, Lance asks, “What are those?” Sam responds, “A fusion of Galra, Altean and Olkari tech. The culmination of months of Earth’s greatest minds working together. It was a struggle, but we got them made in the end...” BOOM. Done. Efficient use of what is obviously painfully limited time. Did we NEED the power point, the montages, the backdoor pilot for the new team...? Did we - good as they were - even need the Holt Family suffering...? Couldn’t Coleen’s transmission to everyone on Earth have been enough to get the point across that they’re awesome...? In my opinion, we didn’t need this. Not like this at least. It could have been done so much more efficiently, so much less padding. But we did get to see snippets of the messages back home. That was nice. But it doesn’t change the fact that the majority of the first episode felt really... Unnecessary. But that’s just how I feel after part one... So, the first half of the second episode? Superb. Can’t fault it, good heroic stuff, Sam stepping up. A realistic invasion of Earth, ie, we lose that’s rare to see in most media. Can’t fault it. Then the second half kicks in. The four archetypes we’ve been barely introduced to, go on a mission that narratively speaking is utterly unnecessary. I know that the Atlas gets built thanks to spoilers. But even if I didn’t, what function does this part serve? We may not be able to build a thing. Later on, that thing will be built. Do we need to into the minutiae of how the supplies were gathered...? Well, I suppose we do. But not because of how it serves the overall plot of Voltron Legendary Defender, but how it sells these new kids to us for the new series they obviously assume they’re making. But if it wasn’t for that? 

Then it defaults to more exposition... More information that could have been relayed to the audience in much more engaging ways.

This could have been, rather than a messy and kinda redundant two part episode with occasional brilliance, it could have been trimmed down to a truly brilliant single part. I’m not invested in these new characters. Let me get there or not when I see them in their own show. And if they’re literally just there as homage to the sequel series from the 80′s...then they don’t need this much focus. The actual paladins and their interpersonal dynamics do. Rift creatures do. Lotor’s fate does. Why are we wasting the limited time that remains on this unless it’s a back door pilot? Why should the current series suffer just to promote the next one...? It’s just exhausting and disappointing. By the end I was agreeing with Keith. What are we waiting for...? The continuation of the series we came here for. What kept us waiting was either an advert for the next series or a massive misstep in pacing.

And now, finally back to the real story and after two episodes establishing that Earth is screwed over, Earth can barely contact other parts of itself, Earth is on the brink of collapse, Earth is holding on by a thread... In the first scene we have Earth, somehow, triangulating a jamming signal into the outer edges of the solar system and remaining undetected as they do so...? Even assuming they are “just” sending commands to satellites and installations elsewhere in the solar system, The Galra would detect that command signal. And given how much we’ve had it stated, overstated, hammered home that Earth is in such bad shape...that feels like a real ass pull. 

I am being nitpicky, yes, but this is the second time this has happened on such a large and frankly contradictory scale. So I’m calling it out again. First The Paladins are willing to die for each other, or at least be trapped for eternity, then they are barely friends. Then, Earth can barely contact it’s own countries, but sending an undetectable command signal to at least three satellites in the solar system is fine...? Why not just have Voltron get the signal sooner!? Why not have Pidge send a jamming signal...?

And in terms of introductions to the new team? What we got after the drone attack? Perfect. It didn’t need to be an entire episode of establishing them because it isn’t their story. But the Paladins meeting their families? The reconciliation with Iverson? Shiro grieving for Adam. Where was all this before now? Why hasn’t our focus been where it belongs. On the Paladins? Now, I don’t really want to get into the whole debate about unfair representation of LGBT characters. I can see both sides of the argument as being valid. Shiro remains a strong canonically gay character even if the man he once loved is gone. Adam, though dead, is not immune to tragedy just for being gay. What we did see though was a man openly crying for his lost love. There’s plenty to be critical of the series for. But personally, I don’t feel the treatment of Adam and Shiro is “queerbaiting” so much as it is a couple unfairly separated by the horrors of war. A canonically and unambiguously gay couple. That’s representation. Just it may not be precisely what everyone wanted. But don’t let me stop you writing out impassioned critiques, don’t let me stop you airing and venting your grievances. I’m doing that right now, aren’t I? Just please please please don’t send any more hatred at the creators...

Now, this whole section of the Altean enhanced tech...? Why is this being reiterated again? This could stand on it’s own as an introduction to the concept of Earth meets Alien tech. Why are we being shown the same things twice, first in the two parter in depth and again now...? Why do this when there is so much else that needs addressing in ever dwindling episodes...? Though aside from that, Hunk and Keith connecting is great. Hunk finally having a dedicated arc to save his family also great. Hunk being the outsider to the Garrison Trio dynamic and spending time with Keith again? Also great, wonderful even. So where was all this previously...? But even this, even this has to be if not overshadowed then frankly hijacked by the new characters they want to sell to us. It’s getting tiresome. I don’t want Hunk’s moments overshadowed, his spotlight taken... But damn, if he doesn’t still stand proud regardless. This is the Voltron I’ve been missing for most of the season.

I was going to post the image of him crying, but couldn’t do it... So here, Happier Hunk.

Don’t know how I feel about Hover Hand. I get they’re setting it up for the final conflict with Sendak, so that Shiro will be his literal and visual antithesis...but...hover hand looks kinda goofy. And being the counterpoint to your nemesis doesn’t need to be so literal all the time. And again, the new characters forcing their way into the story with a half baked excuse to sell you them. I think from now on I’m just going to comment when Team Replacements don’t force themselves in...Even the fact one of them was Veronica felt a little frustrating, because Lance’s family dynamic with her is overshadowed in my opinion by her being part of the new forced team of replacements. Allura giving up her crystal tiara for Shiro was a nice moment. 

Okay, now imagine the whole infiltration section without Team Replacements. Just the Paladins, doing their thing. Let’s assume their resident tech genius has a way to stop the sentry drones sending out distress calls. 

What did they contribute other than a few quips? Are we really expected to believe our paladins, the protagonists of the story need these people...? No. It was just written that way to force the new guys in. What we need to wonder is why and the answer is most likely... Back Door Pilot. Over multiple episodes. That undermined the series I was already watching. And finally, despite it being the supposed new canon ship in town, we see our first indication that Lance and Allura might be interested. Or do we? No, we just see Lance checking her out and being teased. Then immediately afterwards we see Pidge implementing Lance style silliness and even a Lance style distraction with her own spin on it. But no, let’s focus on the blushing and the eyeballing. I’m not salty. I’m dead sea levels of salty. But I’ll put that aside for now... And roll my eyes at the Wilhelm scream... Ok, so I was all ready to be excited about the plan, but then the super forced Allurance twin blush happened. Was it...was it really supposed to hit home when there was no build up to it this season...? Or was checking her out through the sniper sights enough to replace any hint of them coming closer or Allura setting aside Lotor...? Sure, she’s bound to do it in time, but all I’d want is something to suggest as much on screen. Just a throw away line or two... Is that so much? Cut a scene or two with the Replacements and give us more Paladins.

As the paladins all fly to their thematically and elementally appropriate battlegrounds, I want to agree with some posts I’ve seen arguing that Pidge doesn’t just look concerned, or in the zone as the other paladins do. For at least one shot she looks sad. Troubled. Maybe I’m reaching. Probably reaching. Almost certainly reaching given the almost immediate Allura calling to Lance moment... The sequence of connecting with the lions though? And Lance protecting Veronica? Pretty much resigned to die before being saved by red...? Yeah, heavy and cool stuff.

But Admiral Asshole somehow getting in touch with Sendak? Betraying the entire planet? No. Just no. She can be a thorn in their side and an antagonist without being so utterly stupid. At this point she’s gone from concerned alternative view but essentially a good person trying to save the planet in her own way, to being pantomime levels of stupid. What a daft choice. What a needless choice. You know what would have worked better...? Sendak baiting the Paladins. It would play into his military genius archetype. He didn’t need intel from Admiral Asshole if the entire purpose of the planet killers was just bait for the paladins... We didn’t need admiral asshole to make a faustian pact with the people responsible for planetary genocide. Some of the choices this season just bewilder me. 

Well, at least no combining sequence before the Big Zapper Cannons hit. That’s something. I guess they can occasionally cut unnecessary scenes for time. 

The Paladins are asleep and it’s time for the replacement team to take centre stage again. Even with their own repeated launch sequence animation. Guess they can waste time after all. Admiral Asshole...

...yeah. Who would have thought that the mass murdering alien wasn’t to be trusted...? Except anyone written with an ounce of sense. I won’t deny, I completely and utterly lost interest during the Team Replacements moments. If you like them? Great. They were kinda written to be made valid off the back of the existing series so, I guess it worked for some, just not for me. I might even have been more keen on them myself ha they been secondary characters. But this season, they have so far felt like the focus. Yet also, they felt so undeveloped that they were like filler. They took up far too much focus that should have been on the Paladins. The characters I’ve been watching for six previous seasons. The characters I’m invested in. Even the launch of the Atlas - is it supposed to be a reference to The Gotengo in ship mode? - being powered by the Castle Crystal felt like a passing of the torch moment. There’s still a season left guys, can we wait until after this series ends maybe...?

Can we do The Paladins justice in their own series and make them the focus in their own series? Can we do the replacement team justice by making them the focus of their own series...? No? We’re going to try to do both at once and ultimately make both the worse off for it? Great, ok. Seems like a plan... SIGH

Soul-riding the lions? Now that’s a cool extension of the lore. That’s a cool new addition. That’s building more upon and actually watching Voltron again. Have I mentioned that it sometimes feels like I’m not watching Voltron any longer this season? Because, yeah, that. But during the parts where I was watching Voltron, it was great. Shame I couldn’t care more about Admiral Asshole’s sacrifice. They went beyond the pale with her outright betraying Earth. Noble sacrifice for an act of stupidity was just...meh. Didn’t feel like she’d be any additional motivation for the Paladins that earth already was. 

But damn does Shiro look good as the captain of a starship. Kudos where it’s due. The artists did a damn good job.

So, the final episodes... Great set up for a final confrontation. Yet within the first half of the first episode. Oh no. Voltron has been pinned. Oh no. The Atlas can’t do stuff. What will we do? Oh gosh I hope the new team of plucky do-gooders can save the day. Whatever would we do without them? I hope we can buy their toys soon. Stop it. Why won’t they just stop it...? Stop making them such a major focus. This isn’t their show...or yeah, maybe it is now. Maybe the Paladins are the side characters now? Sometimes it feels that way. They spent a lot of time out of commission, damaged, pinned or otherwise unable to act except in montages.

“Lance, I’m coming to help!” Yes, because Allura is just there to support and look shyly away from lion glances. Sigh. Can we have Allura who didn’t need to be defined by a love interest back please?

Then again, Shiro had some time to shine which was really appreciated. The Sendak/Shiro fight was...ok? I mean, it had a lot to live up to after the Kuron / Keith fight. And it just fell short in my opinion. And much as Keith saving Shiro is kinda the default... Given how they were building Shiro up to be the anti-Sendak, it felt like the final blow was robbed from Shiro just a little.

Then of course, we get The New Robeast. More powerful than anything they’ve dealt with before and utterly unannounced. Ok. Well at least they didn’t just go to sleep for a bit and let the new guys do everything. But they still found a way to force them in even now. Wouldn’t have shocked me at this point though if the new group had just beaten the robeast. The twin swords are cool, but sadly a Plance moment it wasn’t. Maybe it would have been in old Voltron. Formed by a stronger bond between the two. But not so much now. Just a thing that happens. Like Pidge’s new gun thing. Thing that happens. No build to it really, just happens. No lesson, no moment of clarity, no greater connection, just, happens. How does the Atlas have back up generators that can make it functional when it’s already been established the only thing that can power it is the castle crystal? It was a pretty big plot point. Until it was just forgotten about. The Atlas mech formed by Altean magic was pretty cool. Shiro has a lot of moments with Allura leading to it as well. More than she had with Lance even. I’ll come back to that. Fake out Pala-deaths was cheap. And if they only reason they put the focus on the new guys was for that fake out...? Screw that. What a waste.

Seeing Hunk and Shay reunited was nice but too brief. Nice to be wrong about Krolia, but I’m not expecting she’ll last the next season. Shock factor you see. Watching Earth change and develop in flash forwards and montage now makes me wonder why that couldn’t have happened earlier. And my answer is, probably to sell the new team. And that sucks. I’m not really looking forward to another season of the Paladins taking the back seat. I do kind of expect it though. In fact, I expect it will only get worse.

And of course, now in a mere 13 episodes we have to wrap up Lotor, Haggar, the rift creatures, any and all ships, don’t forget set up the new team, because I think there were a few subtle hints there’s a new team they want us to care about. How about that new team guys? New team! And do all that without it feeling like a giant rushed mess. Heh. Won’t hold my breath.

Overall? Season Seven as others have said for many reasons, is Voltron Legendary Disappointment. Now to be fair, the art, the music, the animation, the voice acting - even given some guff lines, kudos to Josh Keaton for making “Their very home” not sound stupid... All of that was great. All of those staff members involved? A plus, amazing. But the writing...? Oh my good gravy the writing is all over the damn place. Yes, I just write silly fanfics and they’re professionals so what do I know? Their paycheck invalidates my opinion, right? But to be frank some of the mistakes and I do mean mistakes are elementary continuity gaffs. Redundancy. Repetition. Over reliance on exposition. I mean, if this is considered professional then standards have dropped...  That’s not to say there weren’t moments of great writing. Moments where it felt like I was actually watching Voltron again rather than an advert for the new guys. But for the most part...? It was odd choice after odd choice. Daft move after daft move. Mess after mess. Forced and contrived plot point after forced and contrived plot point and if I was judging the series solely on the writing... I’d ask why nobody proofread the first draft.

But to literally everyone else involved in the show from the voice actors to the background artists to the intern fetching coffee...? You all did an amazing job with the mess you were given.

The Obligatory Over Long Shipping Bit

It’s not all about the ships, but... To some extent, it kinda is a little. Maybe even a very BIG little... At it’s most basic, a story, any narrative, has three parts.

The Beginning: The Status Quo, the ordinary world.

The Middle: A Challenge To The Status Quo, conflict, introduction of the special world.

The End: A New Status Quo, conflict resolved, special and ordinary world merge or become aligned to create a new standard.

And ships? Well, they’re an aspect of both the conflict in the middle and the New Status Quo at the end. Ships matter. The connection we feel to two or more characters and the connections they gain with each other? They matter. They are the story. So when I bang on about ships beneath, keep that in mind. Keep in mind that watching characters grow and grow closer is an integral part of narrative, romantic, platonic, whatever. Watching dynamics develop and shift between characters matters. That includes ships. And, I’m not calling the show bad because ships. The show itself is flawed, but overall still good. still very good in fact. All I want to do here is share my disappointment and frankly my confusion at the way that all the ships seem to be playing out right now.

But to start... Allurance. 

Let me say, emphatically state, that if you enjoy this ship I have no beef with you. I am not against you enjoying it. I am not trying to tell you you’re wrong. If you and I having different opinions on this is enough for you to unfollow me, then fair enough, goodbye and have fun elsewhere, no hard feelings. However, my opinion remains as it has done from the start. Whilst this could have been a solid canonical ship if things had been written differently, as it stands... I can’t support it and feel it’s the worst outcome for these two characters.

Now, I’ve seen the argument that “maybe it all happens off screen” and that I addressed in a post here. The long and the short of it, I want to see characters develop on screen rather than off screen. That is literally what I watch for. The On Screen Developments. Not off screen assumptions. On screen this season, Allura had more bonding moments with Shiro than with her supposed new love interest. Does that make sense to you? Because it doesn’t to me. Then there’s the argument that Lance’s feelings have grown and matured and changed. But honestly, on some level, if Allurance becomes canon, it feels like they haven’t. Let’s go through it on a very basic level.

Allura and Lance meet, he hits on her. - Lance wants to be with her. They work together. He continues to hit on her. - Lance wants to be with her. They keep working together. He hits on her and is jealous and possessive of anyone who even comes near her.  - Lance wants to be with her. Lance tones it down a little. Starts to be supportive. You’re the heart of Voltron etc. - Lance wants to be with her. Enter Lotor. Lance remains jealous and possessive, but plays it off to Allura as a joke. “You need a third wheel?” But to everyone else, including the mice, he makes it very very clear this makes him unhappy. - Lance wants to be with her. He makes that speech to the mice about wanting to be a better person, how he’s unworthy etc. etc. etc. - Lance wants to be with her. Allura finds out about this, seems less than pleased. - Lance wants to be with her. Allura breaks up with Lotor after finding out the man who changed her life is a genocidal space vampire. - Lance wants to be with her. Lance does the supportive hug scene. - Lance wants to be with her. Some stuff off screen presumably and Allura is suddenly over it. - Lance wants to be with her. Dual blushing scene, soft gazes lion scene etc. - Lance wants to be with her and suddenly Allura wants the same thing.

Now, to me at least, I never felt like Lance’s feelings for Allura changed. What changed were his tactics in pursuing that desire. The ultimate ulterior motive of wanting to be with her at no point altered. To me, that severely undermines his and Allura’s growth together. It re-frames the supportive friend hug in season six into the only possible on screen moment that she fell for him and to me that makes Allura seem weak willed, flighty and frankly weak as a character to be rushed into needing a new man so soon after Lotor. It makes Allura into the opposite of what she has been all along. It reframes Lance as being a creep who’s not being entirely honest and is just hanging on to get some Altean Action. It’s unwittingly supportive of the concept in toxic masculinity of No Doesn’t Mean No and I think that’s a dangerous message to be sending these days. We should know better. No means No, it does not and should not mean pursue them like an object you want to possess. In reality, that attitude being normalised can lead to obvious and dangerous extremes. In a story, the pursued partner loses their dramatic agency and is reduced to a prize or else wants to be possessed and is thus framed as less capable. I think the idea of Lance and Allura shifting their dynamic to “genuine romance” between  seasons and off screen is cheap. Overall, I feel it devalues both of them rather than enriching them as a ship and an end to two character arcs should. Maybe, like resurrecting Shiro / Kuron early being down to executive meddling, the same is true here? Maybe the plan was for Lance to break the mould of the stereotypical nice guy waiting in the wings? Maybe Lotor being bad was also executive meddling? Or maybe that’s just the scapegoat for the roads we missed out on? The potential lost...

Now, the weird thing is, I’ve seen the argument made that you wouldn’t say that about allurance if allura was a guy. Well...yeah I would. Because if nothing changed except Allura’s sex and/or gender but the events were otherwise identical then it would have exactly the same narrative issues. It would still be undermining both character’s growth and arcs. Chasing someone who isn’t interested is still toxic behaviour regardless of who does it to whom. But if you want to assume that I’m just saying this “because Allura’s a woman” then I guess I can’t stop you, but I hope you take my honest statement that it’s not the case as far as I’m concerned.  On the other side of this argument of well if x was y you wouldn’t z, well, that’s just you creating and answering a hypothetical question. Let’s say someone shipped, I dunno Keith and Cosmo. And the defence was “well you wouldn’t call it bestiality if cosmo was human.” And yeah, I suppose if something was changed so drastically there wouldn’t be a problem. But Cosmo is a wolf in Canon. And Allura is a woman in Canon. Maybe nobody would be saying Allurance has problematic elements if Allura was male or maybe the would. I feel that I certainly would see the issue regardless. But that argument is purely hypothetical and anyone who makes it has no way of proving it or supporting it.

There is however another issue in Canon that nobody seems willing to address. Alteans live for centuries. Centuries versus decades of lifespan. That kind of relationship will have the functionally immortal one watching the person they love ROT before their eyes. It will have them mourning their true love for CENTURIES or else callously moving on. It will, if they have or adopt kids, leave the functionally immortal one, watching their own descendants die. The functionally immortal partner will see their love reflected in their descendants eyes and faces. Forced to relive their loss generation after generation. I don’t want to contemplate that end for characters I care about. But that’s what would happen between Lance and Allura. I don’t want to think of Allura watching generations of hers and Lance’s kids and great grand kids dying like flies and thinking of her reliving that loss every hundred years or so as their next batch of descendants die in front of her. Maybe you see it as romantic? I see it as horrifying. And if the issue of Human vs. Altean ages is never dealt with on screen, I’ll assume the creators either didn’t think about it or assumed the audience wouldn’t care. Well I’m sorry, but you made characters that we love, they are part of a lore that we paid attention to. We do care and it does matter.

What I will admit is that maybe, just maybe the way I’m interpreting things isn’t what the creators intended. As much as I am a proponent of Death of the Author, I won’t disregard authorial intent. To those of you who don’t know, Death of the Author essentially states that; all media is a collaborative experience between audience and creators. That no one interpretation of a text is more valid than another. That interpretations can shift and change based on the time and context through which the text is viewed. That interpretations the author never intended are valid. Now, a lot of people seem to have this idea that “Death of The Author” means audience interpretation matters more than that of the author and completely overlook the idea of shared meaning and no one true interpretation. I’m coming at this from the point of view not that the audience owns the text but that we all, audience and author, equally share it and it’s infinite valid interpretations.

So that said, the authorial intent may well be that Lance and Allura’s relationship isn’t and was never meant to be a creepy guy being persistent. That it wasn’t meant to suggest that despite being rebuffed, he should carry on chasing. Maybe it wasn’t meant to seem like he was dishonest, swooping in after a break up to pick up the pieces. Maybe we’re supposed to ignore the ulterior motive to get into her pants that never changed from season one episode one? It may well be their intent was to show a relationship developing healthily and organically but they were rushed and it ended up feeling incomplete? But, that less positive interpretation is just not how it comes across to me and many others. Intent or not, we can only interpret what we see. We don’t hate the idea of these two characters being happy, we just feel like the way it’s portrayed so far doesn’t seem strong enough or doesn’t make it explicit enough that there has been sufficient growth and change on screen to really make us buy it. You may disagree. That’s perfectly valid. The authors may disagree. That’s perfectly valid. I disagree with those opinions and that too is perfectly valid. I don’t hate any of you for feeling the way you do or for reading the text the way you do. Everyone interprets media differently. Please do me the same courtesy and don’t hate me for my interpretation. We can both make valid points yet still disagree. There is not one true and absolute interpretation.

I suppose that leads me here. At this point, given the way that almost every ship possible has been hinted, teased, alluded to or given time onscreen... I wouldn’t be shocked if there aren’t any canonical ships by the end. Just hints. Forever hints. Because if nothing else, the Allurance shippers don’t deserve to be baited and switched. Even if I disagree with the way it’s been portrayed, even if I feel it was rushed and needed time on screen to develop, those shippers deserve a decent payoff if the show is going to tease it so damn hard and so damn obviously. The Sheith shippers have had plenty of hints as well. Kallura looks on the cards half the time. Hunay, Hunelle, Hidge/Punk all got hints at the possibility this season. Keith and Acxa, I was thinking they’d pull that as soon as Keith found her in the weblum. Plance, I may or may not have strong feelings about. Who can say? 

But given that the series so far has given so many contradictory hints, even assuming the caveat of multiple interpretations, how could anyone be happy by the end? I mean, if Plance happens and I still believe it makes the most sense for Lance and Pidge’s journeys and character arcs... Well what about the Allura / Lance dual blush moment...? The Allurance fans will ask that and rightly so. Why even include that if it isn’t going to go anywhere...? Chekov’s Gun. I can’t even deny myself that if the plan really was for Lance to move on, this would have been the season to explore that to make it feel organic. If Lance ends up moving on in the next season, then that will suddenly feel forced as well. The amount of ship baiting going on is a little frustrating. I can’t see how it could end in a satisfying way for every baited ship. So, maybe they’re just going to have nobody end up with anybody canonically? At this stage, part of me would rather have that than have my OTP confirmed in canon. Because if what has happened so far is anything to go by... I’m just going to be disappointed at it feeling rushed and artificial. Unearned and pulled out of left field at the last second. With all the build up to Allurance, whether I think it hit the mark or not, it feel like it would be cheap and rushed to have him suddenly move on in the next and last season. Plance might end up feeling not organically developed, just, info dumped into existence for time constraints. I’ve been seeing hints between Lance and Pidge since episode one. Waiting for them to change their dynamic for all that time and seeing hint after subtle hint, seeing how perfectly their two stories align. They literally and narratively complete one another. And yet, if it comes down to it that one line or one half baked scene or even one future still image in a montage at the end of the series, is the confirmation of them hooking up...? Then even I won’t feel like my ship was worth coming true in canon. I’d rather have it never come true than have it come true as badly, as forced, as potentially interpreted as toxic, as contrary to the narrative and as ultimately unsatisfying as Allurance seems to be right now. I have no issue with Allurance being the end game. I would just have wanted to see it done justice and right now... It just isn’t. Don’t agree? Ok, well...

Compare and contrast... One person in this series, Allura creates - using Alchemy - a means to be whole again. A weapon capable of overcoming a nemesis in visual dramatic parallel. Having learned Alchemy through tainted means from her Evil Ex, she’s now able to put it to physical tangible use for a new person. Not only that but she sacrifices her crown, her symbol of office, one of her last remnants of her dead home world in order to make that creation whole. She has shown this person nothing but respect and kindness otherwise.  Another person she barely interacted with aside from telling him to shut up then in the space of one episode they’re all blushy because reasons.

I’m being a little facetious, but let’s be honest.... What this shows is that Allura literally has a more meaningful and narratively significant set of interactions with SHIRO than she does with Lance this Season.  Shiro’s arm represents her turning the bad experience with Lotor to good. Her giving up her symbol of Altean Royalty shows she’s willing to sacrifice anything for him. And through that bond, she grants him the power to turn the Atlas into a giant robot. Where she created the Sincline out of a dishonest partnership, the Altas-Mecha is formed by honest...well, it looks like LOVE to me. Now I’m not saying I ship them. But if you showed me this season out of context with any of the rest of Voltron, I would be shipping Shiro with Allura even though he’s Gay. Because frankly, in the story told on screen this season that actually makes way more sense than shipping her with Lance. Even out of context, even assuming no Lotor, no previous issues, Lance and Allura being hinted just seems...out of nowhere this season.

Maybe I should just wait for the sequel series where everyone ends up with total randoms off screen that nobody is happy with? Maybe the ships that make the most sense and have been hinted at the most will be forgotten or end up with off screen unhappy marriages as some vague and irksome attempt at being “mature”. Yes, I’m still salty about Toph/Sokka as well as Kataang, what of it? Sometimes you just want the characters you have grown to love and adore to have a happy ending together. Is that too much to ask...?

So, season 8 predictions...?

After a heartwarming episode that teases Coranecker, Lotor will finally get his redemption arc. And by arc I mean, episode. There will be an entire episode devoted to info dumping how he wasn’t really a space vampire the whole time and Romelle got the wrong end of the stick. This episode will tease Lotura again as well as hinting at Hungar, Huntor, Hunlia and Huray, the Polyship of Hunk Coran and Shay. Haggar, having now established herself as the dark queen of the Quantum Abyss will send wave after wave of Altean-Robeasts at Voltron, before the series finally ends in, you guessed it, another big battle with another new big robot. There will be a “we won” montage, Sendak will somehow be resurrected or a void creature will emerge from Daibazol to set up the Big Bad for the sequel series. Maybe both. Nobody will end up with anyone and the next series and/or movie will be hinted at. We might end up with a cliffhanger to tease the sequel series. And we’ll all go away a little disappointed and a little happy all at once. Oh and Black Paladin Kaltenecker of course.

Salty semi-joking aside, at this point given how rushed the series has obviously become, I really would not be shocked if Lotor DID get a redemption plot that was dealt with in a single episode. Or a single sentence. Just like the way he was turned into a Genocidal Space Vampire in a single episode, I’m sure they can turn him into the Space Pope in a single episode. Maybe blame it all on a rift creature? Or maybe save that plot thread for the next series, given that in 13 episodes there’s no way they can cover everything they want to AND cover it as well as they want to. Or just never mention them again. It’s not like they were set up to be majorly important or anything. 

Also, if the whole of Voltron Legendary Defender is now going to be a backdoor pilot for Voltron The Garrison Guys or whatever, that seems disappointing more than exciting. Voltron Legendary Defender should be it’s own show first and a sequel should organically follow based on success or failure. If there was always a plan to have more seasons as a sequel series then...

USE THOSE EXTRA SEASONS TO GIVE THIS STORY THE ROOM IT NEEDED!!!

Make VLD the best it can be before assuming we need a sequel series at all. We wouldn’t have half the problems we have now of story lines feeling rushed if, get this the story lines had more episodes to not be rushed! We could have had more Past-Paladins. Keith’s backstory could have been explored as a full episode or two not spoon fed to us by time flashbacks. Allurance could feel less forced and artificial. Lotor’s betrayal could have been given more than a single episode info-dump. We could have actually explored Allura’s feelings and hr process of getting over one of the most important relationships in her life turning to shit. Give this story the time and space it needs to breathe and grow. Let THIS story be told in a well paced way rather than being forced to rush to hit the deadlines for the sequel series. If VLD ends up being less well received owing to bad or rushed writing, we may just end up with zero interest in the sequel series anyway. It’s self defeating!

Don’t have entire episodes devoted to characters who show up, info dump and then are mute for the rest of the season. Don’t have entire plot threads be rushed and resolved in time less than they deserve! And if you can’t do that...

THEN TRIM THE FAT!!!

We can probably all point to a bit that felt “rushed” or “forced” or “out of left field” and that all comes down to a single fact. So far, there has been far too much story to tell in far too few episodes. So certain plot threads end up suffering as a result. Not being fully realised. Not being given anything more than flashbacks and montages rather than full episodes examining in greater emotional depth and deeper narrative exploration.

I would rather see a simple story well told than a complex story rushed for time. What we seem to get in seasons 6+ of Voltron are attempts to tell the entire story they wanted but being forced to cut it short for time. Sadly, what would have been better than telling the full story badly would be telling as much of it as you can save well and discarding the rest. Maybe that’s already happened? Wouldn’t shock me.

Lotor deserved better. Allurance if it becomes canon, deserved to have been built upon to make it seem more deserved, less creepy nice guy. Allura deserved to have on screen time to adapt, grieve and move on from Lotor. Matt could have had time to develop his relationship on screen. Plance if it becomes canon deserves time to shine, because for many fans out there if it does becomes canon in season 8 then for them it will seem rushed, sudden, forced. Or worse, Pidge will always seem like Lance’s backup girl... As Said before, even me as a hardcore Plance Shipper feels like it can’t possibly be given the time it deserves to feel earned when we have just one season left to tie it all together....  So again, maybe all they can do at this stage is shrug and only ever give hints as to whom ends up with whom in this massive cast...? And then just spew out the sequel series. Because we gotta sell those new toys.

I cared and invested in the VLD characters. I wanted their story to be their story and not just a vehicle to sell the next series that, to be honest, I’m probably not going to be remotely interested in.

The Salt Floweth To An End

There is SO much potential in VLD that was squandered by things being rushed, compacted, cut and yet also being massively bloated despite this. Then there’s the obvious executive meddling that can’t have helped for a second... It just ends up making everything messy and unfocused. This season was a mess. Entertaining, yes, compelling, yes and damn good overall but with so many moments that just hit shy of the mark the creators obviously were aiming for. Almost all of it down to the writing. Because the animators, musicians, actors and all the other cast and crew did an amazing job. But the writing was...just a totally confused mess.

Overall, it ends up being Great rather than Exceptional which breaks my heart. Because the first 5 seasons? Exceptional. Every aspect. Especially the writing. But from Six onward? Everything seems to just crack and fray around the edges, the polish wears thin and the whole thing feels just slightly less like everyone involved gave 100%. Maybe a solid 90%, and some still went above and beyond... But things, in my opinion, shifted. Sometimes in service of “surprises” and sometimes just because they needed to rush. Whatever the case, it feels like somewhere along the line the writers stopped caring as much. If at all. Will I watch season 8? Sure. But I’ll always know it could have been so much more if they’d been given more time and more room to let the story flourish. At this point I doubt it’s possible given the already obvious lack of focus in the writing, that we’ll see every plot thread tied up to satisfaction. I’m not even going to kid myself that they’ll do it all well because that’s just not going to happen. I’ll be shocked if they manage it at all. Frankly I’ll be shocked if the last season doesn’t focus more on the new team again... I am not looking forward. It feels like a chore now. Will I watch the sequel series if there is one. No. Probably not.  I wanted Voltron Legendary Defender to be given all the time it needed to be exceptional. I didn’t want to watch an advert for the next series and the next group of characters and toys. Especially if we’ll just end up seeing them all wasted, rushed and never allowed to live up to their potential as well. I was invested in VLD and it sucks that my investment is used as a marketing ploy for a potential new show before being discarded. Ah well. There’s always fanfics I guess... Though even that tastes a little bitter now... Like I'm just another part of the Voltron Hype Machine and not even getting paid to do it... Sucks and it taints what I plan to do and what I already have done... I do want to continue supporting the show and the ship I love along with all the fans out there in The Garden, but right now... I’m left feeling so conflicted. In two minds about how much I enjoy this show and yet despite that, how often and how glaring some of the errors, missteps and plain crazy choices they seem to be making along the way... It’s hard to feel 100% positive, but I did make this post and I stand by it. If the Voltron writers won’t give us the reality that makes the most sense? We make it ourselves. I did make these three posts and I stand by all of them as well. Even now as it seems like the writer’s minds are falling apart like chunks of wet cake, I still maintain that Plance makes the most sense in the story for those two characters I loved. Will it still make sense at the end of the series? Honestly, yeah. I’m sure it will still make more sense than whatever the writers eventually decide to churn out. Here’s hoping Season 8 is...something...

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