#great exercise in not being so fucking precious about it all

[gilears]

it's so hard to believe (but i'm trying to change)

1.4k, fig missing scene, canon-compliant

Fig follows Quincy home after warlock class for two reasons and two reasons only—the first reason is because he’s suspicious and may pose a security threat for (future) President Applebees. The second reason is because he’s a narc and a shitty bitch. (or: fig goes on a walk and thinks about gilear.) (read on ao3)

this week's follow up is about the fact that gilear still hasn't, like, even reached out to fig at all to let her know that hes gonna be gone for... a year? because what the fuck, man.

#fh #fhjy #fantasy high #fig faeth #storytime #sorry i just love hurting her #this ones shorter and a little loosey goosey-er #but i had fun! #been on a lizzy mcalpine lockdown this week i hope i did the vibes justice #shoutout to me for getting this done in the face of the Symptoms #it has been such a blast writing these each week btw #great exercise in not being so fucking precious about it all #and riding the wave of inspiration and just having fun with it! yay!

[maegalkarven]

AU where Dark Urge didn't loose memories and the events in Moonrise Towers in act 2 went a tag differently. Or very differently.

Fucking everything up in a new, interesting way.

Characters: m!Dark Urge, Enver Gortash, Orin the Red, Ketheric Thorm, Isobel Thorm, Dame Aylin, Wyll Ravengard, Ulder Ravengard (mentioned), Karlach.

m!Dark Urge x Enver Gortash.

It was a stupid fucking plan from the very beginning of it.

To go to the Moonrise Towers to – what, confront Ketheric? Confront the Chosen of the God of the Dead?

Nemo knew better than the others what an idiotic idea it was.

But Nightsong already took a flight, and harpers moved to attack – and what was Nemo supposed to do?

He was a wreck, a shadow of his former self, weak as a kitten, clumsy as a newborn owlcub. He was the failed Chosen of Bhaal going to a place what was his demise.

Swooped by the currents of events unfolding, he had no plan.

But again, Nemo was never the plan guy; it was Gortash’s forte, it was his work. He was the brain of their plan, the brain of all of their operations. He thought things through as Nemo sliced around, creating chaos, bringing havoc, painting world in blood.

But it was before. Before Orin took her swing, before Nemo’s once great abilities were reduced to dust, before he became weak. So weak he had to depend on others, so weak he required, no, needed allies.

The voice of Father dull in his head; illithid parasite had to do something with it, had to change the rules the same way it changed them for Astarion.

Funny, before that whole mess Nemo would never put himself and a vampire spawn on the same page. But now? Oh, how alike they were, the spawns of unrelenting cruel force commanding their will, puppets of someone else’s play.

Waking up on nautiloid was akin to waking up from a fewer dream. The Urge...subsided. It was pushed back, held at bay. He was almost alone in his own head, more alone when he ever was with Father’s constant will moving his hands.

But what good did this free will do if he was about to die anyway, probably in the same damn place he died the first time? Would Orin be the one to slice through him one final time?

Nemo was never the one for plans, as clever as he was. Gortash always claimed it drove him mad, for Nemo had all the intellect, but rarely put it to good use.

“You have to exercise your mind the same way you train your body,” his unexpected ally would say. “Otherwise what use is it to you? You, my dear murderer, is capable of much greater things than your father foresees for you.”

These thoughts were atrocious, they were heretical, they were...compelling. Flattering, warming some deep corners of the soul Nemo didn’t know he had.

No wonder lordling ended up luring Nemo into his bed.

No wonder Orin saw her brother’s newfound weakness and used it against him.

Clever little thing, his slaughter-kin, to shift into Gortash to approach him. He was a fool to lower his defenses, of course he was.

He paid for it greatly.

“We’re moving down,” Isobel acknowledged. She, a daughter of a man who turned his back to two gods for her sake. She, the priestess of a goddess Ketheric Thorm forsaken. She, a child brave enough to confront her father.

Nemo hated her before he knew her.

He hated her for the way Ketheric turned the world upside down for her to live; he hated her for how ridiculously loved she was.

She hated her because even after being corrupted by Myrkul’s unholy powers, she still dared to stay unstained. Holy. Good.

He hated her so much his whole body hurt.

She who denied her father’s love, she who had love so selfless, so unconditional-

Father’s love was always conditional. Father’s love was always a leash and never a caress.

Father’s love hurt no matter how much Nemo craved it.

Oh, how he wished he could stifle the light of her life; oh how he wanted to see Ketheric’s face as he would tell him, in every gruesome detail, how his precious daughter died the second time.

How everything Ketheric did, everything he betrayed was for naught.

But Nemo was not what he used to be: he was weak, and Isobel was his advantage in a fight against her father. Her and Nightsong, but Nemo wasn’t even sure if aasimar was alive; the last he saw of her was when Elder Brain dragged the woman down.

Down, down, down-

Down they went.

Nemo didn’t want to go down there. He didn’t want to confront anyone, he wasn’t ready, he wasn’t strong, he-

He wanted to go home.

Home, such a strange concept it is.

Bhaal’s temple was never his home, even if it was the only shelter he has ever known.

No, home was...

Home was a mechanical clicking of devices operating in Gortash’s workshop. Home was the dim light and the huge table covered in papers; the smell of hot iron and smoke, and the man with fingers stained in ink.

The bitter bile rose up his throat at the thought of it.

The Chosen of Bane was never supposed to be his home.

The Chosen of Bane was his enemy.

Nemo has failed his life’s purpose in more ways than he could count.

And yet he wanted to go back; to the security of that place, to the delighted glint in the other man’s eyes, the mad plans, the notes on the table, the open books, the diagrams, the warmth of his skin as Nemo dragged Enver away from his work:

"Rest, you need to rest. It’s unbecoming of you to run yourself ragged like that. Sleep, your machines will not disappear overnight."

The way he struggled, tried to argue as exhaustion overtook his body. The way Lord Enver Gortash, the tyrant in the making, looked vulnerable in front of him in a way, Nemo suspected, he never looked in front of anyone else.

The way Nemo went to bed with him and expected to wake up in a pool of blood, but never did.

Because some part of him resisted Father even then. Some part of him claimed Enver Gortash for himself.

And it cost him greatly.

Nemo wondered if returning to Moonrise Towers could be classified as ‘coming home’.

He wondered if his home would meet him with windows shut and new lock on the door. He wondered how quickly he would be discarded by a man having no use for him anymore.

Turned out, Nemo was a fucking idiot.

***

It happens faster than it has any right to be; Ketheric spots Isobel, Wyll sees his father, Karlach lurches at Gortash, and Orin...

Orin steps away from the Elder Brain and smiles.

“My poor slaughter-kin,” she coos. “Came back so I could finish what I’ve started, did you not?”

And then the moves.

And fuck, Nemo forgot how fast she is, and he is so out of it, he is but a shell of his former self; his body is weak, feeble, damaged-

Orin knows it. Orin was the one who damaged it in the first place.

Nemo is vaguely aware of Isobel reaching out to Nightsong and freeing her from the bonds, he thinks he hears Gortash trying to reel Orin and Ketheric back in:

“Orin, we haven’t finished, the Brain didn’t receive command yet, come back here- Ketheric, two stones can’t hold it down, we need the third, Ketheric, forget about your daughter, come right here and make yourself useful for a change-“

But Ketheric doesn’t listen. Orin doesn’t listen. Everyone is too wrapped up in their own issues, their own grudges, their own fights. Karlach slices through the undead servant and knocks Gortash into the ground, only to be pushed back by a force of small explosive detonating right into her face. It doesn’t damage her much, but pushes back a significant amount.

“My poor brother,” Orin taints as Nemo tries to dodge one of her slices and comes out short. Blood oozes from the new cut and his murder-kin giggles. “So out of it, so pathetically weak. I did a good job on you, brother dear. But,” another smile, another attack. Nemo barely parries it in time. “I can do better. Father knows I can do better, Father knows you have failed him. He loves you no more, my failure of a brother. He has left you.”

Nemo would love to argue what Father went nowhere, what he still haunts Nemo’s every waking and dreaming moment, what the only thing stopping the God of Murder from consuming his wayward son is the illithid parasite in the bhaalspawn’s brain. But he doesn’t have the time, he doesn’t have the strength, he is failing, and-

The next strike to come is fatal.

Or it would be, if not for a huge tentacle of the brain to come flying out of nowhere.

Sending Orin flying right into the Morphic pool.

To the Brain.

With her stone.

Fuck.

Nemo turns around and meets a bewildered stare of Enver fucking Gortash, the man who just successfully compromised his own plan - their plan - beyond any recovery.

A fool.

Nemo’s blood is so loud in his ears he can barely hear; his heart is throwing itself against the cage of his ribs with a force unbeknown to him before.

He feels elevated, he feels scared, but most of all he feels-

“What the fuck did you do?” he snarls and everything, miraculously, stills. Everyone freezes, staring between them in a mix of surprise and dread.

Everyone feels what something just went very wrong.

“I-“ Enver starts, but Nemo gives him no chance to continue.

“You just threw the Netherstone to the Brain! The Netherstone we use to control the Brain! And you just threw it right at it,” there’s indignation burning in him but also...confusion?

Why? Why would Enver do something like that? Why would he compromise everything? Why would he-

“She was about to kill you,” Gortash seethes. “I saved your life.”

“By dooming everyone and everything in the process,” Nemo shouts back. “By dooming yourself. By the gods, Ketheric, did you see that? How he just- Ruined everything?”

“I did in fact see that,” Ketheric, who is pretty much being held down at the fire point, states. The only thing stopping Nightsong from murdering him here and now is Isobel’s hand on her shoulder. “It was a very stupid thing to do.”

Gortash looks appalled at that.

“I just saved his life!” he repeats like this fixes everything. Like it explains anything. There’s a mad look in his eyes, of a man who just realized what he has done. Then he turns to Nemo. “I saved your life, you ungrateful little-“

“Why?” comes out so quietly it’s barely a whisper.

At first Nemo thinks he asked that, the question was definitely on the tip of his tongue. But no, the voice belongs to Karlach. She rises from the ground, shaken but unhurt.

“I know you; you’re an awful fucking person who only cares for his own well-being. Why would you do something like that,” she gestures at Nemo and Nemo makes a face at her. He knows how he looks, thank you very much. “For him?”

Gortash opens his mouth, hesitates. His eyes dart to Nemo and Nemo meets his gaze with just as inquisitive expression as the one on Karlach’s face.

“Yes, Enver,” he agrees. “Why?”

But Enver never gets to answer, for in that precise moment the waters of the Morphic pool part and a figure crawls out.

A figure of a pale woman with even paler eyes, dressed in red.

Orin.

She takes a step, then another.

And something is wrong.

Her movements are unsteady; her head dangles as if she’s held up the strings and her eyes-

They’re vacant, her eyes, almost empty. They’re...peaceful, and Orin has never been peaceful in her entire damn life.

Nemo makes the involuntary step forward and is immediately held back by Wyll, who, gods only know how, managed to not only teleport his father right next to Karlach, but also come back to Nemo, and is now holding him firmly by the forearm.

“Don’t,” he whispers into Nemo’s ear. “This is not your sister.”

“Orin?” Nemo calls out regardless, because this is his sister. It has to be.

Orin raises her head and looks straight at him. Then she opens her mouth and speaks:

“Praise the Absolute.”

“By the Nine Hells,” Karlach curses. “She got tadpolled.”

“And she has the stone,” Ketheric is the first one to move, ripping himself out of Nightsong’s grip and stepping forward.

“Well, shit.”

An overwhelming, overbearing horror embraces Nemo.

Orin, his little sister. Orin, his murderer, his torturer.

Orin, the perfect slayer. The puppet of the Absolute.

“Maybe I can use the prism,” he starts. “I can bring her back to her senses.”

“And then what?” Wyll argues and it takes Nemo an embarrassingly long time to realize his friend has already started to pull him away. “She’ll try to kill us on her own volition and not the Brain’s? No.”

“We need to go,” Gortash speaks up. “Quickly, now.”

“There’s no ‘we,’”, Karlach argues. “And ‘we’ are not going anywhere with you.”

“Karlach, now is not the time to argue-“

“You sold me to Zariel-“

“Father?” Isobel calls out. “Father, what are you doing?”

Ketheric unsheathes his sword.

“Atoning,” he speaks. The moves to rip the Netherstone from his armor and throw it at Nemo. Nemo, surprisingly, manages to catch it. “Keep it safe,” the man orders and oh, is this his general voice now? “Keep her safe.”

Nemo doesn’t need to ask who he means by that. Instead he argues.

“I am a murderer, you know that, right?” as if any sane argument would work right now. “A murder incarnate. I do not keep people safe.”

“This time you will,” and this is why Ketheric was so feared and respected; a single hard stare pins Nemo to the ground. “Or I will come back and hunt you down to the end of Toriel. To the end of every known realm, if I have to.”

“Not to interrupt this fine and lovely conversation, but general,” Gortash looks just as puzzled as Nemo feels. “What are you doing again?”

The man has some strength enough to smirk.

“What I should have done long time ago,” he sends Isobel a long, sickeningly loving gaze. “The right thing. Isobel.”

“Father,” the girl’s chin trembles. “Father, I don’t-“

“I love you more than any god could understand,” the old general speaks. “And I will never regret bringing you back, never. But now,” he turns his gaze back and manages to parry the quick, efficient and entirely deadly strike of Bhaal’s unloved daughter. “You have to live. And I...I have to take a stand. Go,” he says. “Go,” he commands. “I will hold her back for as long as I can.”

“The undying against the slayer,” Gortash murmurs as he already sprints towards the elevated platform.

The ground shakes as the Brain breaks out of its bonds, bit by bit, slowly but surely. The wave of psionic energy what comes their way almost knocks them all down.

“Go,” Nemo shouts as he and Wyll teleport closer to the exit. Thank fuck for the teleportation spells. Thank fuck for Wyll.

Karlach all but carries dazed Ravengard away as Dame Aylin takes Isobel in her arms and takes flight.

“Go, go, go!” he repeats as a familiar hand grabs him by the shoulder. Nemo doesn’t have time to think, doesn’t have time to act as he is dragged the remaining way to the platform by no-one but the tyrant himself.

The moment Karlach reaches the platform Wyll hits the control panel and they start to rise. Nemo is afraid it is not fast enough.

From the height of their ascend he sees the undying general fight off the slayer. Two Chosen of Gods against each other.

Even from that far away it is clear Ketheric will fall.

He sacrificed himself. He brought them time.

Fool.

***

Down below the illithid colony, amidst the Hell of his own creation, general Ketheric Thorm receives one last, final blow.

Blood oozes out of his wounds, painting the floor red. Above him a woman dressed in red stands; eyes vacant, empty, soulless.

But it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters anymore.

Isobel is safe. And Ketheric...

“Melodia,” he whispers as the last breath leaves his body. “I am coming.”

Somehow he knows she is waiting for him; what she has always waited for him, no matter how far he strayed.

Ketheric Thorm dies peacefully. It feels like falling asleep.

#dark urge: nemo #enver gortash #ketheric thorm #isobel thorm #dame aylin #karlach #wyll ravengard #orin the red #bg3 spoilers #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 spoilers #is it a fix it if i ruin everything in a different way? #is it ketheric thorm redemption fix? yes #durge is a half-drow assasin named Nemo #who is WEAK AS FUCK thanks Orin #also it's kind of a good run as you can see it bc nemo is not strong or powerful enough to be evil #evil is a luxury #this is this fic where gortash accidentally pushes orin into the morphic pool #TO the elder brain. WITH her stone #oh joy #also a fix it where Ketheric gets to atone and Gortash is forced to work together with the team of tadfools #nemo is bad at feelings #the dark urge #bg3 dark urge #durge spoilers #gortash's pov of this is just: #gortash: *saves nemo* everyone: *disliked that*

[cyanichexanthine]

Tagged by @scarstarved to list 9 favourite characters (thank you for the tag 🥲💕💞🫠)

It’s under a read more bc it’s kinda a big post lmao, also not particularly ordered because my brain combusted just trying to think of 9 (ended up with 8 but why not it’s my favourite number) and a bit on why they’re there bc it was a fun revisit tbh.

Oh this is going to be a great getting to know me exercise 🥲

1. Rick Prime (Rick and Morty)

The current favourite little goblin. Could never explain why he was a fave but after unmortricken and the subtext threaded throughout s7 I think it's finally coming together especially when I think of other faves in this post (I have a bad habit with faves with seeing them for 0.5 seconds and deciding they're a fave and only later realising why as more about their character is revealed)

To avoid sharing more of my thoughts about his character (and clowning harder than I've already let slip and bc it's mostly interpretation and hc) Let's just say I think there's so much about Prime that is not fully understood yet and I can't wait to see how they address it (also pour one out for another victim of the curse of many of my faves dying in horrible brutal ways with unresolved emotional conflict)

2. Tartaglia/Childe/Ajax (Genshin impact)

Can’t explain this one too much either yet tbh. Another on sight fave. Precious little goblin who cares immensely for his family and seems to want to have friends/an adventurous life but is distanced by how he's wrapped up in conflict and chaos ever since he fell into the abyss as a child.

"You shall ever be the eye of the storm,"

"And the clashing of steel shall ever accompany you."

He has a constant desire for battle and proving himself (likely because it’s how he learned to survive/possibly because it keeps him occupied and it is a horrible cycle). He’s likely also addicted to the thrill of winning/surviving/overcoming due to this as well.

I constantly worry he's going to die. Pleasantly surprised that he hasn't so far. I want to see him develop. I want to see him peel away from the Fatui (bc he’s clearly unhappy and he dislikes a majority of the other harbingers but they’re a means of both keeping his family supported and seeking challenging battle). I want to see him do well and realise he's more than just “a weapon” to serve the tsaritsa’s purpose but the whole abyss thing is a LOT of unresolved trauma that he has never properly been addressed. And boy oh boy does he have a lot of death flags.

3. Amanda Young (Saw)

Ohhh Mandy. She's so, disaster. She has this depth of compassion and raging conflict inside her. Following John just because he gave her a hint of purpose while still regretting what she's become to some extent (secretly continuing harm/trying to kill Adam/wanting to help the fellow addict and being visibly distressed when they died etc) and making unwinnable traps as she thinks they didn’t deserve a second chance.

Likely because she harbors the fact she both doesn't feel worthy of a second chance herself and knows what this "second chance" has made her become, she doesn’t feel that purpose, doesn’t feel like she is grateful for living as John claims. The whole scene where she’s pointing the gun at Lynn and the “nobody fucking changes, it’s all bullshit, it’s all a fucking lie and I’m just a pawn in your stupid game. I don’t mean anything to you.” “So help me. Fix me. Fix me motherfucker, I’m standing right here.” Haunts me a little. Ahhh mandy 😭 I cry every time at that fucking scene.

It hurts to see her devotion to John (and he refuses to give up on her to the point of his death, he believed in her most of all, because she was the example of his ideology) while also seeing her so fundamentally disagree with his principles through her own struggles. She's just pain, pain, agony. Pain. (Another victim of the unresolved emotional conflict deaths 👏)

4. Danny “Jed Olsen” Johnson (Dead by Daylight Ghostface)

Idk why but the dbd ghostface is just so so good. Like I love the Scream movies sure but Danny is a special case. (Also I was a ghostface/stealth killer main back in my dbd days lmao) Danny's story and persona is great, from the Roseville murders, to how he writes/visualises the crimes before they happen, the way he wears certain perfumes during special kills. He’s just so interesting as a ghostface. He seems obsessed with the horror; the unexpected, the atmosphere, the anticipation, the thrill, the reverence of his stories and legacy. He seems to almost feed off of the human response, the fear and resulting chaos when people read his stories in the paper after each kill.

The local police were confounded: the murders were carried with fury akin to a crime of passion yet coldly premeditated.

The scarier the story, the more he appreciated his life. The truth of the stories made them far more potent.

He’s so in love with making a carefully constructed, terrifying story come to life. Yet he’s still impulsive and hot headed when something in his design falls apart. Ah reminds me on the days I’d write paragraphs on analysing his character based on the small background we had before the archive tome 🥰

And I will always adore how well his gameplay in dbd lines up with him as a character.

5. Gintoki Sakata (Gintama)

Listen I have such a soft spot for Gintama and by extension Gintoki himself. He acts lazy, aloof/sarcastic, unattached and a bit "not my problem, don't care, glhf with that"/selfish but he always has a good heart in the end. Often putting himself in danger to help others and going the extra mile for them when they're at the end of their rope. Notably from memory for broken families and people desperate for reconciliation/a second chance.

This anime had so many emotional beats for how silly it looks on the surface. I remember crying from emotional impact into crying from laughter in the same episode when I first watched the series. Also a lot of heartfelt moments of advice and commentary on the human condition. He’s so adorable. Parfait king.

6. Kokichi Oma (DRV3)

Here we go. Not my proudest one (was honestly a little scared to mention him because of the fandom/character perception etc but DR series was a huge part of my teen years along with RPG horrors so rip) but man does this kid mess me up. It hurts so much how he was just trying to investigate and end the killing game in his own way (trust issues so he refused to openly team up). And the way he spirals so hard in the trial after getting Gonta (who, I think he did consider a friend) killed as self defence against Miu is just 💔

The way he considered them all friends and in an attempt to end the killing game, he died slowly and painfully, while knowing they all hated him.💔 Yes his means/the way he went about it were fucked, yes I understand why people hate him. But jesus christ does understanding his motives and his emotions during the game fucking hurt. (another unresolved emotional conflict death let’s gooo)

7. Tiffany Valentine (Child's play series/chucky tv show)

Oh I love her so much. She gets two gifs bc I can’t choose. She was like the highlight of s2 especially. I love her energy, her swings, her endless obsession with/pursuit of knowing true, all consuming love; the way she will not be devoid of all humanity and loves her kids and will realise some things Chucky does are awful while still conversely doing absolutely abhorrent things herself (the Nica incident perhaps?). Will never argue with seeing more of her. I'm so glad the show delivers. (I still need to catch up on s3 though). I would honestly love a little more of her formative story, how she became Valentine.

8. Michael Myers (Halloween)

Another showing my love of horror here but this big guy is a classic. Actually what got me into horror so intensely tbh. I love his little arts and crafts. The way he'll string up a whole scene just to get the most screams and fear. The way he panics when his mask is removed. I do always wonder about him. I mean we're told he's evil in human form but I can't help but feel Loomis gave up on him. Everyone did. I don't doubt it's as basic as him being the shape of evil and that's fine but I like how ambiguous it has always been. There is no clear cut answer on why Michael is what or who he is and I love it.

Wow love the recurring themes here. I’m sure I probably forgot a few older faves too but oh well. Time to not analyse those and go sleep.

Tagging @potetosaradas @dayglomasochism @lara60 @drawmanations @zanukavat if any of you want to share your faves. 🥰

#tag game #long post #hexed rambles #there are a lot of characters I like but not many faves it seems #faves I have to have been mentally or emotionally unwell over them at least once #the funniest thing to me is some of these aren't even in my top 10 media #adding nick valentine as my 9th bc replaying fallout 4 😢 ily detecto peepaw

[puffywiz]

Hi! I am absolutely obsessed with your art; it's vibrant and expressive and just all around stunning. I have always wanted to be able to draw and make fanart, but every time I try it ends up a hot mess express. Do you have any tips/resources for learning? Do you think it's something that you can get good at, even if you don't have any real natural ability?

Aaaa thank you for your kind words! I'll do my best to offer some tips that have helped me over the years:

Create some mood boards

This is one of my fav things to do. It's different from gathering reference images, which you use to draw from specifically like when you want to get a certain pose right. Mood boards are more about finding images that invoke a certain feeling you're trying to express. Here's an example from a project I did a while back:

These are essentially ways to gather inspiration. You can look at the similarities between each of the images you chose and see if there are any connections you can draw. This gives your work a good starting line to come back to if you start to feel lost.

This can also be a great way to determine what types of art styles speak to you, and how you might like to emulate certain features in your own work. I grew up watching anime and would try to emulate the styles of Rumiko Takahashi and Hiromu Arakawa for example. Don't worry about being derivative at first. You'll eventually find your own voice through a variety of influences.

Start by working on understanding shapes

Drawing gets much less overwhelming as you learn to break things down into basic shapes. My one friend suggests drawing Pokemon as an exercise in determining how simple shapes build form. When you try to go right into drawing lineart first you start focusing on the details way too early and you can get into a stop-and-start that seems to go nowhere. People will also talk about the importance of silhouette. This essentially means you want your character to be recognizable by their shape alone. Cartoon styles particularly excel at this (Steven Universe is a really good example) but different art styles will adapt to this with varying success. This is still something I've been working on even after all these years and it's tricky, but it helps you think about diversity when you're drawing.

(These are some old examples from art school I did. They aren't great but they give you the idea lmao)

Keep a sketchbook and draw big

Keeping a sketchbook is the best. Put everything in your sketchbook and absolutely don't be precious about it. Blank pages are intimidating I know, so if that's stopping you one thing I do sometimes is start by drawing on sticky notes and pasting them in. Add anything you think is interesting - quotes, cutouts from magazines or fliers, cute snack packaging, etc. Anything that you like!

My friend also suggests taking up space in your sketchbook by drawing big. A lot of artists start small little sketches and get caught up in details. They start pages they don't like and move on without adding anything else in because they feel insecure. Don't worry about that, details can come later. And you can always draw over stuff you really don't like. You can paste stuff over it and draw on it again. You can use tracing paper to draw over something 5 times. There's lots of options to try before discarding a page all together. I find this helps combat feelings of discouragement when you're paging through your book. If all you see are abandoned sketches it can get you down. So don't give up!

Don't allow yourself to get precious about your sketchbook, no matter how many aesthetic sketchbook tiktoks you're forced to endure lmao. Sketchbooks are places for failure and experimentation. Let it be ugly. There's value in that too.

Draw both eyes at the same time

I still forget to do this but it really helps cut down on fucked-up-other-eye syndrome. Try not to fully draw one eye before you start the other one. Determine in your sketch phase where the character is looking and try to build on that, going back and forth between each eye until you're satisfied with them both.

Here is a comprehensive list of tips and tutorials my friend found here on tumblr too. I took a look through them and I think there's a ton of great stuff here.

Anyone can start to draw at any age for any reason. I think some people develop a knack for things not out of some inherent skill, but by taking an interest in the subject. I started drawing very young but I just stuck with it over the years because I liked it. There's no reason why starting later in life has to mean you can't get good at it. In fact, since your brain is more developed you might pick it up much quicker than you'd expect. Lord knows I've had to un-learn a ton of garbage over the years lmao. Habits die hard right?

I believe in you! Keep drawing! Have fun!

[jmdbjk]

I wish Jimin would just stop mentioning his weight… it’s so triggering and he looks fine and healthy. What will it take for them to realize we accept them for who they are!! I get wanting to be healthy but that has nothing to do with gaining a few kilos.. Korean beauty /lifestyle standards are brutal AF

Hey, Anon.

I get what you are saying. Talking about weight is understandably a sensitive thing for some.

As everyday people, lot of emphasis is put on how we look. For generations, we have been constantly bombarded with images of how "pretty people" are supposed to look. It is ingrained in our society, especially as females, that in order to be "attractive" we must attain the unattainable beauty standards of the day: ideal body weight/proportions, facial features, breast size, butt size, hair color, eye color, etc. It truly sucks.

[Jimin is the smallest as far as body size. Any weight gain we may detect is usually only visible in his face. He looked stunning as usual the other day.]

In our western culture, though a lot of change has happened with "body positivity," we as humans have a long way to go as far as acceptance that we are worthy and equal no matter what body shape, size, skin color, hair texture, gender, or language that we speak. (Sing it, Hobi!)

[I'd put money down that this image was heavily manipulated in photoshop.]

But, let's face it, even those of us who do not fall into the "ideal" category when it comes to looks, we like looking at pretty people, don't we? This is the conundrum...I have no answers, just words for us to contemplate. I also want to encourage each of us to look within ourselves and make a conscious choice not to judge others because of how they look. I implore everyone not to bully and hurt people because of the way they look and especially do not use social media to do so.

We, as individuals, we have our own moments when we feel like we look great, because we feel great. We have our own personal criteria about when we think we look good, whether it's when our hair is behaving, our makeup looks good, these jeans or dress fit me perfect, this shirt is so comfortable, or even getting some decent sleep, etc...we feel good about ourselves when we believe we look as good as we can. No one has the right to take that feeling away from us. So let's be cognizant of what we say to each other, let's allow each other to feel great.

[I thought Jimin looked especially healthy on this day.]

So, that being said, in the idol world, looks are almost everything. Yes, the kpop beauty standard is brutal as fuck.

Jimin has so much self-awareness, so much self-consciousness, like, maybe he can dial that down a little and just be comfortable in his own skin sometimes, right?

He is very much aware of how he looks and has his own personal criteria as to when he feels he looks his best. When HE thinks he is in tip-top shape, HE feels he can give us his best. This is something that none of us should dictate. Yes, we agree, Jimin looks great no matter what. But if he feels better about himself if he lost a few pounds, then he should be able to feel that way. He trusts us when he says those things out loud to us. His trust in us is so very precious.

I know that what I just said might not hit right with some people. I get it. It's all a very personal topic and we all bring our own personal living experience to the conversation.

I firmly believe Jimin lives an extremely healthy lifestyle. I think he knows how much exercise he needs to keep in shape, and I think he is perfectly aware of what he puts in his body as far as food. He's not perfect, he knows it and that's why we love him.

It is understandable that we might want Jimin to refrain from bringing up a topic that is triggering for some. It is understandable that we would want Jimin to not worry about how much he weighs, that we accept him as he is. But again, this is something that is Jimin's right to control, after all, it is his body.

I truly believe Jimin wants to show us his body, otherwise he would not give us these types of images of himself. It is obvious he feels like he looks his best and if that is the case, I want him to think that. I am not saying that in any kind of "thirsty" way, I am saying it as one human to another...baby, show it off if it makes you feel good about yourself! That goes for any of us, show it off if it MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD! That's all that really matters.

I apologize in advance if I didn't hit the right note for some. I sincerely wanted to speak about this in a sensitive way.

#park jimin #jimin #jimin and dieting #he looks f-f-f-f-fine no matter what #we are all equal #look good feel good #we are all doing the best we can with what we have #body autonomy #i love you all because you are human

[cowboycakes]

Do You Get My Letters

✥ Pairing: Levi x fem!Reader, somewhat Reiner x fem!Reader

✥ Themes: Fluff, angst, sadness, big ass plot twist

✥ Warnings: Female bodied reader (she/her pronouns,) Pregnancy and birth (nothing gory.) Mentions of death, violence, and threats. Manipulation.

✥ Synopsis: You are carrying Reiner's baby when he betrays Paradis. Levi decides to step in.

✥ Word Count: 2.2k

(there is a part two up to this fic, but i've decided i'm going to rewrite the ending at some point.)

Anon's Request: Hi! I saw your requests are open so here I want to give my little scenario a try! 🕳🤸🏽‍♀️ I thought abt this last night, I’m currently rewatching AOT after 6 yrs and yet to finish season 4, so sorry if I’m wrong abt timelines/the plot? My request is the reader was with child with Reiner, but b4 reader told him, he betrayed and exposed his mission. Levi stepped in to help reader. And btw, I just finished watching ep 3 of season 4, so maybe Eren telling reiner abt his child and he regrets leaving the reader? And reiner jealous at the fact Levi is most likely considered his child’s father at that point. I can’t come up with an ending, so I’ll leave it up to you if you do take in my request. If this isn’t your type of writing I totally understand!

Note: This story is canon divergent. It is set in season 4, but in a universe where Reiner is not revealed as a traitor/the armored titan until a few months before season 4 takes place, as the reader was having relations with him until then and did not know his secret. I’m sorry if that change bothers you, I just wanted to write this as sort of its own story. This story contains season 4 spoilers! It also has nothing to do with the canon ending of AOT.

---

Dear Reiner,

I hope this letter somehow gets to you, I don’t quite know where to start.

In a perfect world, I would be so happy to tell you this. You’d be ecstatic too, I think. And before you try to second guess me: I’m sure by now, don’t worry.

I’m pregnant.

I guess we weren’t careful enough before you left. I feel like an idiot. And lost. But I’m not hopeless. I know myself, I can make it work somehow. With or without you.

I’m still in shock about you. How could someone so close hide so much? You’re a talented spy I suppose, a great asset to Marley. You made me trust you with my entire life. You made me love every false thing about you. And this is the rude awakening I get in return.

I’ll raise our child to value honesty and kindness, all in spite of you.

Sincerely,

Reader

---

The paper was damp with tears after you lifted your pen for a final time. You wished you could just keep the whole thing a secret: go make a quiet life for yourself somewhere else. It wouldn’t be right. Not after all of the dishonesty that man had spewed to you over the past few years. You had to tell him.

The door to the office room you’d settled in to write the letter creaks open. It’s Levi. He looks at your puffy eyes somberly, sympathetic. He was the first person you had told about the entire situation. Not because you were close, just because you needed help.

You fold your letter and stick it into a sturdy envelope. Levi takes it in his hand.

“That piece of shit doesn’t deserve a thing from you. Not a letter. Certainly not tears,” Levi says, using a clean handkerchief to wipe a stray drop from your cheek, “but I am proud of you.”

You take the handkerchief from him, feeling more tears stream down your face.

“Proud? I’m a fucking idiot,” you say through your sobs.

“Don’t even try to pull that self pity shit with me. Things happen sometimes. And you’re strong enough to commit to getting through it,” he responds.

You stand up, pushing your chair out. You look at him as you dry your face off again.

“I’m alone. How the hell am I supposed to do this shit alone?”

“You are not alone,” Levi replies. You’re shocked when he pulls you into a hug. “I’m going to help.”

You had never seen this side of him before. You look at him as you pull away slowly, tears still welled in your eyes.

“Are you sure? That's a big burden, Levi. None of this has to involve you.”

“Not the biggest burden I’ve ever taken on,” he shrugs. “There’s a lot of death around here, Y/N. Everyone is going to be happy about the little bit of life you’re giving us.”

You chuckle. He’s cynical, but he’s right.

He licks the envelope as he walks toward the door.

“Want me to run you a hot bath or something? Is that the type of shit pregnant people need?” he asks.

You laugh, a little harder than normal. It felt so relieving to laugh.

“Sure, Captain,” you respond softly.

---

Dear Reader,

I received your letter before the battle in Marley. I actually got to hand it to Reiner myself. He knows everything now. He broke down in front of me after reading it, going on about how much he regrets everything. How he wishes he could change things and be there for you. He begged me to kill him right there.

The world will eventually not have suffering like what you are going through now.

Eren Jaeger

---

Your jaw had dropped reading it. He begged me to kill him.

You hand the letter Levi had just delivered back to him. He reads it with a furrowed brow.

“Do you think…” you begin, your voice shaky, “do you think I could send another letter?”

Levi purses his lips, “Possibly. I can ask Jaeger. But right now, you need to bring your blood pressure back down.”

You were over seven months along now. You had found out about your pregnancy late, after being in denial for four whole months. Hange insisted on checking you out after you’d thrown up every morning for a week.

Levi had since gone on a parenting book reading spree; he made you read several of them too. He knew just about everything you needed to do to make a healthy baby: what to eat, what not to eat, how to exercise, when to go to the doctor, etc. It was really sweet how much he cared. You knew it gave him hope, something to fight for, something to come home to.

You were terrified when he left for Marley. You kissed him for the first time when he returned. Just about everyone you knew had to fight. You wished you could be out there fighting with them like you were supposed to. Maybe you could have made a difference.

Levi takes your hand, squeezing it to bring you out of your thoughts.

“What can I do?” he asks.

“Get me a glass of wine,” you grumble.

“Absolutely not.”

---

Dear Reiner,

Reader does not know I’m sending this. So keep it that way, or I’ll kill your sorry ass. Or maybe not, you’d probably enjoy that. In that case I’ll get creative.

How does it feel? Being a fucking deadbeat? Is it everything you’d thought it’d be and more? Fucking her and leaving her with nothing, like she belongs in a whorehouse. Reminds me of what happened to my mother. Pieces of shit like you came in and sent her to her death, leaving her kid behind to starve.

I wasn’t about to let her suffer like my mother did. But you were. I’m glad your choices haunt you, Reiner. You fucking deserve it.

I’ll be there for the both of them from now on, doing everything you were never capable of. She’s due any day now, I’m sure she’ll try to write to you.

Levi

---

You feel your first contraction while napping on the couch with Levi. You were settled in between his legs, your back leaning up against his chest. He had his hands on your stomach; he loved to feel the baby kick and tell them some of the happier stories in his memories.

The two of you had grown so close over the past few months. You slept together every night now. You didn’t want to leave each other’s sides if you didn’t have to. Levi would cuddle and massage you any time your pregnant body was ailing you.

You had fantasized with him about life after the war. He wanted to be a husband, a father, to live peacefully in the countryside. And he wanted more than anything for you to join him.

The first contraction wasn’t painful enough for you to make much more than a grunting noise, but Levi woke up the second he felt your stomach contort a bit. He was on very high alert these days.

“Holy… shit…is that what I think it is?” Levi whispers, “Don’t answer. I’m getting Hange.”

He crawls out from behind you and sprints out of the room.

The pain worsens and becomes much more frequent while he’s out looking for Hange. You stand up eventually after getting the urge to walk around - and your water breaks. You start panicking, unsure of how dilated you were and how much time you had left before pushing. You really wished you’d done more than just skimmed through those birthing books right about now.

Levi and Hange eventually come sprinting back into the room with a wheelchair and cold rags to find you whimpering in pain on the couch, trying your best to control your breathing.

You’re rushed down the halls to the Scout’s infirmary, where Levi had made sure the perfect room was set up for you - and it had been that way for two months.

The next hour goes by in a blur. Hange knew the biology of how to deliver the baby, and Levi knew how to coach you. He helped you hold your legs back when you pushed, and helped you count out your breathing. Hange attended to everything that might have made Levi faint, like checking your dilation and making sure the baby was coming out at the right angle. You got lucky having these two by your side.

Through all of your efforts, you finally hear a cry. You look up to see Levi holding your tiny new baby as Hange wiped them clean. He was smiling, way bigger than you’d ever seen him smile before, with tears in his eyes.

“Here,” he says softly, handing her to you.

You cradle her on your bare skin. “She’s so perfect, Levi! Look how sweet she is!” you coo.

“What are you going to call her?” he asks, stroking your hair as you gleam down at your baby.

“I was thinking,” you smile, “Kuchel.”

Levi lets out small gasp. Tears start streaming down his face, his efforts to stifle them failing.

“Really? I think that’s,” he wipes his eyes, “a wonderful name.”

—-

Dear Reiner,

She’s finally here! Oh my god, she’s precious. Levi and Hange helped to deliver her. Labor went smoothly. Levi started to cry when he saw her for the first time. She really is just that perfect. We are calling her Kuchel, after Levi’s mother. He cried when I told him that, too (don’t tell him I’m sharing those crying details.) I've decided to give her Levi’s last name as well.

Levi set up the perfect nursery for us.

If you really did feel guilty for leaving - don’t be. I’m happy.

She has your eyes.

Sincerely,

Reader

—-

Dear Reiner,

Kuchel said her first word today. Of course it wasn’t mama, she’s such a daddy’s girl. She started crawling awhile ago, we are now working on standing up on our own. She has all of this blonde curly hair, too. She’s growing up so fast.

Reader

—-

Dear Reiner,

Levi proposed a few days ago. It was so perfect. We found a nice house with room for a farm that will be perfect for a family.

I can only wonder how you’re doing, now that the war is over.

Are you even alive?

Reader

—-

Dear Reiner,

I’m expecting again. Levi is beyond excited. I am too, of course. Kuchel started school this year. She is such a smart kid.

I still wonder about you. After all these years.

Reader

—-

Message after message, word after word. No response. You had decided he must be dead. The devastation after the war would argue that he was.

That is, until you found yourself rummaging through one of Levi’s desk drawers, looking for baby Isabel’s lost pacifier.

You felt the bottom of the drawer shift. A false bottom?

You pry at it until it comes open.

Letters.

Dozens of opened letters. With Marleyan postage stamps.

You pull out the first bundle you see. They’re all from you. Unopened. Unsent. You set them aside, your jaw quivering.

You pull out the second bundle and gasp.

—-

Dear Reader,

Eren showed me your letter. I am terribly sorry. Let me fix this, somehow. You can come to live with me in Marley. I will take care of you. Please.

I’m not just a traitor, a liar, a farce. Everything between us was real. I can explain everything. Just trust me.

Love,

Reiner

—

Dear Reader,

Do you get my letters?

I’ve only heard rumors about our new baby girl. I wish I could see her. Just once. For a second. Do you have a camera? I know they’re hard to come by in Paradis. I can send one.

I’d do anything to change this. You know I would.

Love,

Reiner

—-

To Levi,

You son of a bitch. I know exactly what you’re doing. You think this is protecting her, but it’s not. Just let her talk to me. She would listen, she would understand. You said yourself that she writes. You manipulative, sick bastard. That is MY child. She will never be yours. No matter what you brainwash her to believe, your dirty Ackerman blood does not run through her veins. She deserves to know. You are the farce, Levi.

Reiner

—-

There were dozens more. All opened. All from Reiner.

You sink down to the floor, tears spilling from your eyes.

You are the farce, Levi.

But, why? He was just protecting you, right?

The office door opens. You jump, shoving the letters back into the drawer.

“Mommy, why are you crying?” Kuchel asks.

You take a deep breath, staring down at the letters, thinking about everything that could have been.

“Are you happy here, Kuchel?”

“Yes!” she chirps, “Every day!”

“Then it’s nothing, baby. Mommy just got hurt. She’s better now.”

Your daughter giggles and skips out of the room, leaving you to hide away the rest of the letters.

༺♥༻

I REALLY HOPE I understood your request, Anon! I actually had a lot of fun writing this. It isn't something I would normally think to write, but I'm so glad you shared this idea! Sorry for the sad ending, I love playing w people's emotions ;)

༺♥༻

#levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman #levi aot #reiner x reader #reiner braun #reiner x you #levi x you #attack on titan #aot x reader #aot imagines #levi imagine #reiner imagine #snk reiner #snk levi #tw: pregnancy #tw: threats #tw: manipulation #tw: mentions of death

[sugar-petals]

SuperM as Boyfriends Headcanon

↪ caro’s note. extra long version because i miss ‘em. best boys, they’re all bf material to the moon and back ♡

5k words | bullet points

○ warnings ⚠️ 18+, dom/sub play, shibari, female reader, grinding, poly mentions, threesomes, face-sitting, femdom & vanilla, smut and fluff

⌈ ten

— motto: they won’t underestimate me for long.

most of your social environment is gonna be confused by ten at the beginning 

and don’t really get what he’s all about

or think he’s like whatever, some random guy in a tank top

acting peculiar

finding him kind of hard to gauge

some of your family and relatives might even think he’s totally unusual and a sneaky fuckboy making you mad 

they seriously wonder what you see in him

down the line that perception has turned by 180 degrees

as it should

ten becomes more irreplaceable, relatable, beautiful, perfect and impressive the more you know him

he’s not as mysterious and impossibly badass as everyone assumes

his personality is very approachable to you 

and you find him interesting in every aspect, looks to hobbies to background to personal habits

and also opinions because ten is a guy who really thinks stuff through

so you gotta be roughly on the same wavelength 

he likes discussing controversial and complicated stuff a lot for sure

being far wiser than his age suggests 

you are the first to share those things with him until the rest of the world catches up to this gem of a person

spending so much time with you

in the most personal way he can

he takes you to see the floating markets in bangkok, you spend the summer in thailand

wakeboarding and playing badminton

his entire family knows you inside out at some point this shit is serious

it’s very important to him to go back to the roots every now and then

and that you have been around his home city as well

getting to enjoy the area and time together eating the most savory delicacies

renting a boat and paddling you around to the important spots, he can explain any question you have

this kissing is gonna be so romantic 

who needs a vacation in venice when you can go to thailand with none other than ten himself as your ferryman let that sink in

except eating durian there he is, the boyfriend who can do anything!

with seemingly no effort

ten does little kind services of love for you throughout the day

he pours you herbal tea, fixes some furniture (he’s surprisingly good at tinkering), comes home from the bakery with your favorite pastry, does the laundry with your favorite fabric softener

he also goes on a huge shopping spree with you monthly because fashion is key in this household and it’s tremendous fun

you giggle when he puts on oversized shirts deliberately to look funny

everyone in the clothing store will think oh man what an adorable pair

ten will model the living hell out of the entire stock

and buy you the cape you really really want as a birthday present

said item turns out to be your favorite couple accessory

because you can sit next to each other on a bench at the river and wear it

what’s not to love about a portable blanket

of course he will take to instagram and make it such a cool thing, photographies of you wearing really cool coats and jackets

mirror bathroom selfies together as well, with a back hug, the classic

and not just for insta

you snuggle a lot generally

ten is always available for affection

and accepts all PDA

he’s a kitty after all, he loves the warmth of your body more than you know

remember how taemin said ten’s hands are always cold, newsflash not anymore since you stuff them into the pocket of your hoodie whenever you can

and hello sir your paws will be nice and cozy on my waist

or hand in hand when you waltz through your apartment

time for dance is a must

oh my god ten is so good at all of this

although say he’s definitely faster into latin than standard genres

tango argentino, he loves flamenco as well

don’t believe me? ten is a diehard rosalía stan!

vamos

so, no-brainer, expect a lot of dancy stuff 

that escalates into wild, passionate fucking

which probably looks like an aggressive form of couple exercises

you poor sore souls

ten’s lil kitty butt is falling apart from all the “i can handle a bigger one!”-level pegging and you have aching legs all over

favorite position? full nelson

if you ask me ten’s ass is probably so carved out by the end of this you could fit lucas and kai in there from head to toe

this is not for the faint of heart

sex with this guy is extra cardio

and if you’re into that a threesome is gonna go down sooner or later

with our girl lisa

there. i said it

miss manoban in those knee-high boots, grinding her thighs between yours and you finishing off on ten’s face? the fucking hottest thing ever i need a moment wow

i don’t have to tell you how orgasmic this is gonna be

steamy sex life with ten very recommended

⌈ kai

— motto: you’re like a precious rose. i’ll protect you forever.

to be straightforward with you

he is in so heavily in demand it’s madness

to give you an idea of the scale

mark is basically occupied by yuta until the end of time 

but kai has an entire idol fanclub on top of all erigoms

those sharp moves did not go unnoticed

he gets an inkigayo sandwich every other day

jesus christ

if rent-a-sexy-bf.com was a thing kai would be the most requested

his phone would be blowing up with contracts like

and you also have to pass kyungsoo’s vibe check

and taemin’s

the road to being kai’s gf is indeed the way of the samurai

i mean honestly: kim jongin is without a doubt the hardest member to get a date with

this has got to be the most selective man of the entire industry or something

if he likes you he REALLY likes you

and he will be the one showing initiative

because he wants to make it clear he isn’t just spending time out of politeness or something

although it’s pretty logical that if kai was unable to reject someone he would no longer be an idol but a harem husband busy every hour of the day

seoul would be able to found its own village 

kai town

where like 70% of the population is pregnant

but since kai wants to keep on dancing obviously and he wants to lend his heart to only one person 

seoul has to settle with a singular nini family house instead of a kai district

where you and the man himself are a full-fledged household basically since kai’s nieces double as actual kids

if you wanna be a young ass ‘mom but not mom with kids’ and be married to kim kai this is it

does he have a thing for milfs or something

that thought just came to my mind

anyway you’re mommy anyway wink wink

fucking til’ dawn until even his muscles hurt

going raw at the gym together

him cooking the most random food with the infamous waffle maker

cuddling with an army of teddy bears surrounding you

walking the dogs with the sexiest dancer alive 

and the sexiness is only the tip of the iceberg 

we know he’s all-round amazing

kai is the king of figuring out ways to chill out with you anywhere anytime

and yes innocent chilling

...unless you’re in the mood for something else

up to you

anyway

sweet innocent chilling for now... with the stunner... just smooching at best things aren’t going raw or anything

on the couch in the kitchen in the car when it’s parked somewhere in nature

kai takes you very seriously and is a great listener

he’s literally so respectful and open-minded i can’t

he will keep your secrets and stand up for you if it’s ever needed

yes he is extremely caring and invested

kai does not tolerate others being shady towards you

if there’s an instance where you are hurt and unable to assert yourself don’t worry. he knows how to confront others with measure but a firm determination.

kai takes a lot of that responsibility but only to the degree where you are comfortable

i think you get what i mean by that

and he is diplomatic instead of plain patronizing

you have a right to be protected. it means he not only treats you well, but also makes sure your well-being isn’t disturbed in any other way outside of the relationships

outside influences aren’t to be underestimated

and since kai is a godly man you encounter a lot of jealousy from others

a matter he will take into his hands since he knows he’s the reason

standing up for you also means saying no 

to these jealous voices so this is an important boundary he has to draw

that all kinds of hellbent people want to get into his pants and take his stage image too literally is not up to you to fix

kai is there for you to enjoy and love not to defend

that’d be exhausting and beside the point 

kai prevents stress and negativity to come to you

i hope i explained this well he doesn’t do this to be bossed up or make you weak it’s because he wants to make life easier for you

guys being protective will be chalked up as chauvinistic these days. often rightfully so 

but what i mean is that kai support you in all regards so you won’t be at a disadvantage or feel terrible about something

⌈ taeyong

— motto: we’ll take good care. enjoy the pleasure.

he’s the type of boyfriend who will ask you about things he missed out on while he was busy

things um from the internet

while mark literally knows that one by heart already taeyong will ask you things like what the wellerman song is

and you thought it would be something nsfw

i got you fooled

did we forget that the man literally watched nct memes on youtube

taeyong is both even more 18+ than you think but also even more innocent than you think it’s complicated

this man is just hard to describe he’s so different, i mean every person is unique but he’s an original it’s the extra mile you know

anyway

sea shanties

bopping to it all day since he just heard it 

singing it while he prepares dinner based on a youtube recipe video as he often does

he’s the most adorable person ever ever ever

asking you why shanties are back in fashion 

(good question, requires a deeper sociocultural analysis i reckon)

planning to remix one for his soundcloud lmao i kid you not

maybe your favorite shanty 

featuring fast-pace rap and all

creating his own previously unknown phrases and shit like that you know him

palazzo rocco lemon detox flashbacks

he’s hilarious i swear

taeyong will produce his own shanties for you can you imagine

as he says: my happiness is your happiness

watch out he will drop a shanty music video with extra krumping moves

taeyong is a never-ending source of pure crack

prepare to laugh a lot like, a lot lot

how can a man who seemingly has such a serious outlook on life and such a bonkers kinda face be so lighthearted

it’s like he’s peter pan or something

especially since he has to manage like over 20 brats in nct his cutesy behavior towards you as his gf will stand out to you

yeah so to be clear we all know he’s the cute one in the relationship

and guess who wears the pants

that’s always you ma’am don’t deny it

or wait 

not for long actually because they come off um physically

but not metaphorically

because who doesn’t wanna sit on his face tbh

your favorite reserved spot

he loves it

taeyong has such a thing for your body it’s ridiculous

mister lee got a sexy mama

and you have such a thing for the gloriousness that is him

but neither of you will not admit it as openly as other people would think

all there is... is being flustered

baekhyun probably has to play some cupid now and then

and give you some ideas

like gifting taeyong plushies and things like that

baekhyun knows what taeyong is all about so the advice is very welcome

but most things you find out for yourself

by being a little braver with him you know

you walking around naked in the apartment or basically fresh out the shower with nothing but a towel

will shake up taeyong so immensely, he will back himself against a wall without you even pinning him there lmao!

jeez he’s so deep into kinky stuff but easily shook anyway

i quote him again: “born to be cute, i dunno!”

you can imagine the overwhelm when you rub yourself against him like it’s nobody’s business

it’s so much fun to give taeyong a regular horny meltdown not gonna lie

this man was grinding his whole body all over the superm stage and now he’s basically freezing up and drooling

how many denied and ruined orgasms he’s gonna get, so much overstimulation all the way  

you’ll lose count of it

and just how wet you’re gonna be

is a thing for the history books

taeyong isn’t such a big deal in nct for no reason god gave him every talent 

so great sex is obviously in his repertoire

i think you’re gonna break some records for most fucks per week

you know... guys like lucas taemin kai and baekhyun spend more time wooing and teasing and flirting

but taeyong gets down to business

one glance is enough

⌈ lucas

— motto: the hottest couple around.

ah, big boy

you really got this man’s attention

doing nothing much at all really

he probably just saw you walking around talking to friends

carrying an impossibly huge veggie burger munching and enjoying yourself after going on a jog

yeah boy that’s how you catch his eye

they say love begins in the stomach and that is the true meaning

or the nose, your food smells really good, lucas is going crazy, he’s seeing stars and shit

anyway

the towering burger isn’t the only thing he wants

lucas cannot get you out of his mind no matter how much he tries to distract himself 

with more good food, movies, games

fooling around with wayv or the superm maknaes, and working out

he’s admittedly... a little himbo head over himbo heels with you the feels got to him

he’s not gonna say it’s a date he’s just gonna invite you just because

to hang out in the kitchen while taeyong cooks and baekhyun comes up with the idea to play twister

imagine lucas with his long arms and legs bending himself all over the place

fighting with kai who almost crashed his shoulders into taemin who avoided the accident quickly

making you lose a round

obviously lucas will hustle until your team wins

mostly because he’s so tall and baekhyun is so small which is a huge advantage when stacking each other over the map

let’s just face it baekhyun only suggested this game to bite everyone’s butts and to see you have skinship with lucas

which is definitely a successful plan of the leader

yukhei is in paradise 

jumping around his room like an oversized bunny after you went home

don’t lie, you fell hard for him as well he’s just such a presence

emotionally, physically

a gentle but persistent giant

he’ll do anything to make your relationship happen once he knows you’re interested

if there’s someone meant to be a boyfriend it’s gotta be him come on

he will cave in after a while and admit he can’t just forget about you 

not gonna lie

your ex is gonna be shaking in his ratty boots

his poor eyes will literally jop from their unexpecting sockets

when he sees lucas hanging out with you

with his shining blonde hair and tall stature, that perfect shapely body, with great fashion on top of that

looking like your guardian angel

man, xuxi really does

pulling you out of your slump that’s been going on for months

and bringing back smiles and a good time he knows how to do that best

and big big hugs of course

you can imagine how soothing and grounded it feels with such huge arms around you

he will make sure that feeling is always there when you need it

because you deserve that treatment

which means he will come over very very often

yeah get ready for how yukhei is a lot more driven than you think just dial and he will be there

underneath the meme surface is someone very determined who really really wants you

yukhei is chaotic good incarnate but in that area he isn’t messing around

his brain is like: “gotta be with her”

on repeat

he must call you, he literally can’t sleep without tying loose ends together as quickly as possible

no second wasted with this guy, even far down the relationship timeline

i really pity your ex 

i mean someone dating any superm member would drive their former partner completely nuts 

but lucas is a special case

he has that kind of look and aura that makes other guys dig themselves into the ground like wiggling worms or cope by fanboying over him

i don’t wanna make this sound like a competition and yet — congrats on your noodly blondie boyfriend alright

⌈ mark

— motto: two nerds in love.

how to explain this. mark is a perfect balance of a lover, a talker, and a shy bean

with a tendency toward bean

and flicking the bean

you know

cutting right to the chase are we

mark is very invested in pleasing you as good as he can

and defeating his awkwardness

because if we know one thing it’s that he always strives to become better and better like he can’t help it

and isn’t afraid of almost biting off more than he can chew

how many subunits is he part of at this point is it gonna be nct hollywood as well god dangit

back to the point mark doesn’t treat relationships and sex as something static which is a good and rare thing

he does his best and always looks for room to improve

while being very nervous, very bilingual, it takes two languages or more to express what he thinks about you let that sink in

that’s very shaky first date sex while being extremely in love with each other

lucky you

and an afterglow where he plays the guitar for you

that’s so nice 

he can play it while laying down and shit

while singing

not rapping, actual full-fledged serenading

we’ve heard how that sounds in the relay cam

are you dating some kind of teenage heartthrob or something huh

mark will make it very clear he’ll stick around, this bad bitch is here to stay

or actually, he’s a good bitch, don’t misunderstand

mark doesn’t have a lot of edgy in him unless rap is concerned

he’s the kinda guy to get lost in IKEA with 

having a good time 

as often as his schedule permits

you really have to make use of your time together 

this man might as well the busiest idol out there

and you are no different because birds of a feather

you’re both mr. and ms. independent 

out and about very often

so meeting up becomes something special during comeback season

or wait mark always has a comeback going on

which is a double-edged sword but something you both know you signed up for 

which is why you spend a lot of time around NCT dream, 127, and SuperM 

sm’s publicity agents have to work extra hard i’m telling you

a dating rumor is the last thing both of you would need

since you befriend several members you gotta stay on the low as well

but hey the rage of jealous people of the public is nothing compared to the force of nature that is yuta nakamoto

who seriously thinks himself threatened and robbed

in case you are feeling possessive as well...

...you might have to fistfight yuta

to be able to be with mark

who is basically property of osaka at this point

yuta is a scorpio that’s just the way it is

unlike taeyong who wishes his rap buddy the best, yuta kinda wants to be mark’s wingman and see him date, live his best life

but also have mark for himself to fawn over and to adore, to be fascinated by

we get it yuta. bisexual struggles. very understandable

you have to promise in person that mark doesn’t forget about the holy gaming nights with yuta 

which is hilarious since that’s not up to you but mark’s memory

bestie, yuta uses everyone as a scapegoat don’t sweat it too much

regardless you put a weekly reminder on the fridge

so the roaring lion yuta would be pacified

he doesn’t want to lose his sweetheart can you blame him

the ultimate but also most risky solution is obviously inviting yuta for movies 

which will be appreciated but also cause a storm

mark will definitely break a sweat when you start a popcorn war or try to prove who hugs mark the best 

caught in the middle of mayhem is mark lee’s specialty what did you expect

this either ends with murder or a chaotic open relationship down the line

yuta really is attached but who wouldn’t be

it could be worse mark has double the love you know 

⌈ baekhyun

— motto: you wanna know why i’m your candy?

baby tell me are you ridin’?

in fair verona where we lay our scene...

that baekhyun always wants to woo you — his way, which proves to be very interesting to say the least — is never hard to miss

putting in effort is mochi default mode 

no matter what stage of the relationship you’re in

he might as well regularly serenade you under your balcony in the backyard just because

probably singing ‘baby we can stay up’ and wiggling his ass in all directions because he’s a dirty boy gone wild

yeah. nowadays romeo is twerking instead of feuding with tybalt

that’s good for him and everyone involved

you in particular because you get some very racy eye candy

you know how baekhyun is

at least nobody’s around seeing him put on an 18+ show like that

your little guy is one unhinged fella

if it starts pouring he will grind up and down the next lantern and belt out ‘singing in the rain’

you bet he can do some actual pole dance

he’s strong and bendy you know

and loves to gyrate his whole bag of bones like... he wants to hit you with all the body rolls

in the rain

what a freaky man

but hey you wanna stay up for sure 

doesn’t take long until you beckon him to come upstairs

where the only way to alleviate him of his wet clothes—

oh well he has those roger rabbit vibes and you can’t be mad at it

he will play off all his hormonal antics

baekhyun is hilarious

and so perverted, he can keep up with your spicy idea of playing patty-cake don’t worry

how do i know you’re an extra nsfw kinda person?

who else would like baekhyun

he says juicy things all the time

and does juicy things

yes. finally a couple on eye level indeed. 

when baekhyun asks are you ridin’ you ask how hard 

bruh

this is gonna be fun

and remember

beside handing you sacks of money

his priority is always to make you smile

i’m kidding about the bags but

baekhyun is so rich it’ll show in your relationship, but he’s more about the interactions with you rather than the lifestyle

baekhyun didn’t hustle for a bentley he hustled to sing and get out of sm alive alright

financial stability: important

luxury: very nice to have, he can make you the presents you want to have and travel a lot together

but smiles: baekhyun priority

because he so badly wants to know you love him and adore him, he sometimes feels so insecure

of course you do

you always reassure him with your reactions

it’s very important to him don’t underestimate it

baekhyun has always been talking about his ideal type in terms of how he can cheer her up

so even the naughtiest sexy time evenings are gonna be filled with all giggles

anyway other than that your pussy will be dripping

because this guy is as horny as all other members of super m combined

and you have your ways of leaving him tongue-tied and wrists-tied

taemin’s impact

superm isn’t short of bondage supplies we all know that

so yeah. shibari baekhyun is gonna happen

since he does pilates imagine what kinda shapes you can bend this lil guy into

and take some pictures

privé is in trouble 

bondage model baekhyun is bursting onto the scene

you might even run a risque blog that features cropped pictures with him

heh — you think people will recognize him by his body?

nope

first: you only upload HD pictures that aren’t whitewashed

baekhyun is basically never photographed like that

second: who expects baekhyun to be featured on a bdsm blog with his girlfriend

and this is the guy that drives you around in his expensive car with his big black shades on 

well what can i say

nothing is the way it seems

⌈ taemin

— motto: i’ll unfold a whole new world for you.

taemin is cocky, he’s sensual, and: a very smiley person as we know

least boring relationship ever

he will prance toward you whenever he can to involve you in cuddles

touch-starved taemin is a thing

kkoong can tell you about it, he needs kisses and embraces so often

might as well pepper him with it no problem

and put him into your oversized sweaters when he eats ice cream on the sofa, watching movies, and you brush his ever-growing hair

he’s smol he’s gonna fit into them don’t worry

and on the other hand he likes a rough and tough girl who thinks of him like a boy toy

who acts tsundere or like his bodyguard

working out almost daily to the point of sweat all over

a gal probably able to pretzel minho lucas and chanyeol into one giant bundle

taemin truly has the taste of a divo

multi-layered as always

so you couldn’t say the relationship is always the same in sentiment, the vibe of the dynamic could be different every day

we love a complex man

what would be volatile to others is actually an advantage up close

because taemin understands every difficult facet of himself and his partner 

even if those facets might be contradictory

or something that’s felt shameful about

he will accept and listen anyway

the same goes for getting what drives you

taemin is like a walking psychology velvet couch with fancy swirls as arm rests

point is he isn’t fooled by the surface of the world

he knows what has to be known

which also means your looks aren’t the part he prioritizes

and not even outward personality and habit is what he’s drawn to

it’s the mentality and values underneath

that’s true compatibility to him and he can feel it

he’s really really smart

and also finds it important that you get along with shinee and superm, that you think they’re nice to be around and vice versa

especially kai as taemin’s absolute bearly bestie. if kai thinks you’re shady and you don’t like kai either

or if you’re permanently super awkward and taemin’s moodmaking doesn’t help

we have a problem

but fair enough

kai and taemin are basically one soul at this point so if taemin likes you jongin does anyway 

bff telepathy

in fact jongin was probably the one introducing you to taemin lmao!

because he knows you go well together instinctively and he is correct

so not to worry then

and it’s good on taemin to think longterm and not see you as a person outside of social interaction y’know

cough cough he thinks about marriage, you might be ms. lee one day

here he goes again taemin is just very mature seeing you as well-rounded in every aspect of life

without letting his dick make the important decisions at the detriment of making this a relationship of two lives not just two bodies only

but obviously don’t assume taemin is no horny devil. we all know he dreams of the freakiest scenarios and fantasies in this whole group

going kinda crazy about the thought of making you cum which he always wants to try with new methods

which occupies his mind more than a big bowl of super spicy noodles which is taemin’s favorite meal so

at the same time taemin junior is definitely the same clingy attention whore as his sparkly owner

limp wrists from all the handjobs on your side

and very swollen lips from giving all that head on his side

this is gonna be interesting

he puts the 6v6 in 69

equals 69v69 am i right

but i’m serious that’s gonna be a lot of oral action

you definitely ask each other about having sex very often, daily if you have the time and find a nice spot

and how on earth do both of you keep your hands off each other sleeping in one bed

taemin is touchy as hell with no shyness, and you squish squeeze and grope this guy like the mochi he is

ah when things go both ways

© submissive-bangtan 2017-2021. all rights reserved. do not repost or translate. all depictions fictional.

#super m #super m smut #super m fluff #super m x reader #superm #superm x reader #superm scenario #baekhyun smut #kai smut #lucas smut #mark lee smut #ten smut #taeyong smut #taemin smut #superm fluff #baekhyun x reader #taemin x reader #lucas x reader #kai x reader #mark lee x reader #taeyong x reader #ten x reader

[atsumdere]

:ｅｙｅ ｇｌａｚｅ :

𝗠𝗜𝗬𝗔 𝗔𝗧𝗦𝗨𝗠𝗨 𝗫 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗘𝗥

𝕕𝕒𝕪 𝟚 𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕜𝕥𝕠𝕓𝕖𝕣 : body worship, hand kink, adoration

⁑ mood board created for this fic click -> "eye glaze"

⁑ warnings - 18+ only, pwp, fem!receiving stimulation/penetration, praise, vocal sex, bucket-loads of love, listen- you’re just nuts for atsumu’s hands

⁑ notes - happy 26th birthday to the L O M L miya fricken atsumu! i think you can tell just how much from this ♡

⁑ wc - 1708

“God- baby, look at what you’re doing to me...” Atsumu with his face flushed to the most brilliantly-colored ruby, is clenched up from wildly soaring bliss.

Glassily, he muses to himself about how he could just about die right now, just from the sensation of you alone. Big eyes of maple slowly start wheeling backward towards the lids, and flutter in time to his heavy rhythmic thrusts into your seeping and sensitive core.

Here he goes, as you know it all too well: the point at which—sometimes—while making love to you, Atsumu may become just a bit more touchy with your body, so endearingly grabby with those handsome hands. Helplessly, they wander over you, craving, acting as if they would suffer from a most bitter withdrawal, if not to exercise the freedom to touch, and your skin being the only opiate, the only drug to quell the fix.

A psyche tipped over, gone to where he truly starts to reach a certain kind of otherworldly spot with you—as above and also below. — From the immaterial of his current high-ride headspace, down to the material of your body’s heavenly slick-soaked pussy. Meeting in the middle. “Just- can’t- get- enough!—” Not bothering to keep his voice down. “Just can’t get enough of this tight lil’hole sucking me off s-s’good’ll the time...ngh-uhhn, fuuck...”

This. The apex of his adoration for you.

And the physical manifestation of it, here and now.

It’s that space where he can conceive of nothing more than the heat of your body and the jiggle of all his favorite bits on you. A place where time for him suspends; nearly unbearably lost in the love for you that creates a pit of itself so sacredly within his stomach, with the glowing sight of you bouncing underneath. His brows pinch together tight, filled with pleasured wonder as you are filled up by him to such satisfying wholeness, again and many times over again.

Then, possibly, that cute mouth of his will start to run, sweetly sung with praises of your body’s beautiful build—mixed with euphoric babbling even—as hushed compliments slide along your neck as if involuntarily.

He has to say it, has to tell you out loud, let you know of these aching truths, all while the length of his thick cock slides in and out of the prettily dripping cunt so precious to him. He needs a place to put it all; this current overwhelming obsession with how perfectly your body fits flush against his, just so made for him, lest he combust entirely from keeping it all in.

The sexiest pair of setter hands smooth over your soft skin, beginning their journey from the hips. You watch as they swing up past your navel in a motion of two crescent-moons, spreading upward to reach your tits, cupping and playing at them to his heated delight. “Goddamn love this body, baby.” He hums, and fingers run down along your sides again, claw onto your waist tightly to ensure you receive the full strike of his juicy cockhead forcing against the clench of your deepening walls. Atsumu’s pupils are blown and awe-stricken, as if he can’t believe what his eyes see. “Mn, fuck, yes—LOOK at the pretty bounce of your sweet titties, baby—” He grunts the words outwardly before burying himself in there for purchase, continuing to also bury himself somewhere else, much further down, and with great strength, deeper, just so much deeper into you.

His spine curls downward more, over the length of your torso to kiss onto your once-lonesome lips, now so wetly fulfilled by the taste of him.

“Jesus christ, you are so fucking hott.” He asserts over your mouth, with a quickening pace of his waist. The swift sound of his warm balls slapping against the ripple of your ass create a steady beat as you’re unable to help your head from lolling back to his acclaim. “I-I—” Your breath barely catches up, as you aim to muster a successfully exclaimed, “I am?...” A startled head of blonde jerks up from between the valley of your chest to eye you, forehead glistening, now extra shiny from his sweat rubbing against your own drenched skin. Half-absentmindedly, half-drifting into your daze, you finish off your mild inquiry with a breathlessly fucked out, “...r-really?”

Clearly, his ears must not be hearing things right. He slows to a near immediate halt, only shallowly dragging himself out of you then back in, to say, “Hm- the fact you’ve any doubt means ‘guess m’not doing my job well enough here, huh?...” He pants hot and heavy, and a tiny sliver of wistfulness coats the words, just barely there, but from knowing so much of him by now, you would recognize an otherwise missable hint. Suddenly his hands are everywhere, caressing at your sensitivity. “Hm, baby?-M’sorry if I ever have you doubting it, ‘specially outside the bedroom, ever don’t say it enough...”

“No-no, ‘Tsumu, you’re really so good to me, it’s not actually a big deal. I just- it’s just me—”

Your explanation is cut off by the sudden shot of pleasure moving over your clit by winding strokes, skimming lightly. The visual of his pretty wrist flicking over your mound is an erotic vision to be had, with the view of a single thin wristband donned around it; the one which attractively cuts at all the right places across his skin with a highly pleasing aesthetic. The slender accessory perfectly accents where the muscular back of his palm meets the toned muscle of his forearm, and the sight of it delivers you high into some kind of eye-candy heaven.

And the beautiful shape of Atsumu’s fingers, kissed golden by natural undertones with dark-colored peach-fuzz lined between each knuckle, has you feeling incapacitated as you watch them dance over your folds. With all the strength they exude, they begin working faster at your sensitive nub, drawing out of you a squeakily languid moan. Still connected to you, he determinedly rolls his waist to fuck upwards into you just once, following it up with a heavy smack at the curve of your bottom with his palm, giving it a determined jiggle. “—‘Love this hott ass….” The arch of your lower back can’t help itself from deepening further.

“N’ always gonna eat up how much just touching your skin turns me the fuck on.” Sliding the other hand up your torso to the neck. “Gets me feeling all gentle even. Like m’some kinda wild, but tamed animal or somethin...”

A small breathy giggle blooms from your chest with your head thrown back, eyes shut in the savoring of his gentle wash of humor. “Makes no sense. But, with you somehow...only ever been like this with you.” Your tiny laughter has transcended into tiny moans. “Come here and press that gorgeous body up against mine.” He adds, scooping arms up behind your back so his temple can rub gently along the side of your face, a warm mouth grazing just at the edge of your ear as he speaks lowly.

“But also, baby, it’s just you, okay? Just because it’s yours.” Whispers so genuine pour into your ear and ride along the canals like molasses running. “—‘cause it all belongs to you. Like, we can even start with: how could I just not adore the hell outta your tits when they’re so close to your beautiful fucking heart?” His hand moves past the groping of your breast across the hardened nipple to blanket it over the sweetly rocketing pulse of your chest turned-to-mush to conclude his meaning, “And I love your heart.”

The already heated coil in your belly is set further ablaze, tugged unimaginably tight alongside your heartstrings from his spell-binding sentiments. He can feel it all reverberating through him, so in tune to your being, as you begin clenching, body twitching beneath him and helplessly quivering by the hand of his pure love.

His thumb starts up again at your clit with circular pressure, asserting further, “You have no idea how much your body drives me crazy...” The push of his cock smoothly escalates its pace within you once more and you whine, fully, in total ecstasy. “When you walk, the way you sit, just doing the dishes, when you—fuck me—” emphasizing the latter with a keen bump forward from his pelvis to yours, “—Do anything.”

Suffice it to say, the wind is completely shot out of your body with a mighty stir. Dizzily, you grab hold onto one of his arms as if doing so will steady the impossibly racing burst of ecstatic zinging coursing through every single nerve in your body as you begin to divinely come; come so hard.

He reroutes his hands in favor of tucking his arms below your knees, pressing them back, angling you into a better position. His speeding hits plunge upwards inside of you with pronounced power, against that spongy spot he knows will pull from you the prettiest expression he’s ever seen on another person; and to see, with full knowledge, how he is the only one who can pull it from you.

“—‘T-tsumu!-f-feels—nnn-ahh-i-incredible-!” You manage, past the pleased hitches constricting in your throat.

“I—I know, baby,” he breathes hotly, “I know what you like and—uhn—gonna need you to know now, one-hundred percent, how much I like what I see from you too...” and three thunderous thrusts accent each of the following words, “—Every, single, day.”

The wailing of his name leaving your lips and filling up the hot and misty space has never sounded sweeter. “N’ m’gonna fuck it into you ‘till you know it without a doubt—fuck you all night if I have to...”

. . .

And.

Atsumu keeps his word, and by the final and frothy, multiple orgasm you give him, you feel unthinkably full, in many more ways than one. Chests are heaving, profusely sweating with both of your exhilarated bodies wracked. He slides off of you at the finish, but not without leaving your entire sense of being imprinted with it all—with all of it. Not without your memories etched everlasting by his willfully loving intention, and as though you’ll never need to question it again.

Feeling wiser. A little kinder now.

You’ll accept you.

↳ full 2021 kinktober mood boards & fanfic masterlist

↳ atsumdere masterlist

#: kinktwillowber : #kinktober 2021 #kinktober2021 #kinktober #miya atsumu x reader #haikyuu x reader #miya atsumu x you #haikyuu x you #atsumu x reader #atsumu x you #hq x reader #miya atsumu smut #atsumu smut #hq x you #hq kinktober #miya twins x reader #miya atsumu x y/n #haikyuu x y/n #hq x y/n #miya twins x you #miya atsumu fluff #atsumu fluff #atsumu pwp #happy birthday miya atsumu

[write-orflight]

Settle Down: Chapter 11

**Gif Not Mine**

Prev -  Next

Pairings: SpencerXReader (kinda enemies to lovers)  

Rating: M

Words: 1.9K

Warnings: Child birth, language, tooth aching fluff

Request: OPEN/CLOSED

Summary: Y/N and Spencer don’t get along but turn to each other for the one  thing you need someone else for… A baby. You can plantonically start a     family, right?

AN: Two updates in a row! (Unedited) Now the taglist is officially closed now that we only have the Epilogue left. Thank you to everyone who took this journey with me, let me know what you think! much love, Cia

Chapter 11: A PowerPoint, really?

Morgan called outside the door for more nurses as soon as he heard what you said. Soon 3 women are rushing into the room, one of them clad with a wheelchair. You look at Morgan as they begin to load you in the chair. 

“Derek, call Garcia and tell her to come with my emergency birth bag, then call Dr. Lizzie and tell her the baby is coming-AHHHHH!” You screamed as you were being wheeled out. Contractions, as they turn out, are the worst feeling ever. 

Garcia is barging into your hospital room not long after that baby bag in tow. You kept an extra one at her place just in case you went into labor when the team was out on a case. “I drove just about 90 mph to get here. How are you feeling, mama bear?” 

“Like Satan himself is putting me on a spit roast.” You grunt through clenched teeth. 

“Think of the bright side you’re about to give birth to the cutest, most intelligent baby.” Garcia says. “Plus Dr. Liz told me I need to keep you calm so let’s do your breathing exercises.” Garcia starts huffing in syncopated time in order to get you to follow. You scream in her face. “Ok, so maybe not.” 

“Who’s ready to have a baby?” Dr. Liz says, in a joyous tone as she sweeps into the room. “Let’s take a look at you.” 

“Thank god! Lizzie, I need epidural. Shoot me up, Doc.” You groan from the pain. 

“So someone is a little more eager to meet the world than we thought. It’s too late to safely administer epidural. You’re going to have to go natural, kid.” 

You look at her wide eyed. “WHAT?!” You shake your head. “I-I can’t.” 

“You can, Y/N.” Penelope says. “You can squeeze me as hard as you can.” 

Tears start to fall from your eyes from the combination of pain and loneliness you felt. “I can’t do this, I need-I need Spencer.” 

You hear the door opening. Spencer walked in pushing an IV still attached to his arm, other one draped around Derek’s shoulder as he helped him walk in. Once Spencer was next to you and leaned against the wall, Derek and Penelope stepped back to give you and Spencer privacy in your moment. 

“Alright, you’re crowning. It’s time to push so next time you have a contraction, I need you to push as hard as you can.” Dr. Liz says, you nod. Spencer is pushing some of your sweat matted hair out of your forehead. 

“What are you doing? You’re supposed to be in bed.” 

“I told you I’d be here for you, for this.” He says, grabbing your hand letting you squeeze around his palm. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

“Spencer, I--AHHHHH!” You say, pushing. Your hand tightly squeezes around Spencer’s who despite how rough you must look right now is looking at you with the utmost awe and admiration. Dr. Liz gives you some words of encouragement as you breathe waiting for the next contraction. 

“You don’t have to say it, I know, Y/N. I know.” He says, hand running through your hair. 

“No, I need to say it. Spencer, I’m so in love with you. I love you so much, I’m sorry I kept hurting you but I need you. I love you--AHHHH!! I take it back, I hate you! I fucking hate you for doing this to me!” 

Spencer kisses the hand you’re squeezing. “I love you too, Y/N/N. And I know you don’t mean that. It’s actually fairly common for all mammals giving birth to feel disdain towards their partne--” 

“SHUT UP!” You yell as you push. “I usually love your facts but right now, shut the fuck up!”  

“You’re doing great, mom. Just one more.” You hear Dr. Liz shout over your screams. 

They don’t tell you this in any book, Doctor’s appointment, or  mommy and me class but for a moment even though it is a fleeting moment. There is a stillness in the air where everything is silent and you are only snapped out of it at the sound of your baby’s first cry. Everything else from the cheers to Spencer cutting the cord is drowned by the sound of your baby loudly entering the word. 

Your baby. 

They place her on your bare chest and your arms instinctively wrap around your most precious being. You coo as the baby continues to cry the fluid out of her lungs. She’s covered in blood and goop but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Suddenly the thing you’ve wanted for so long was finally here and she was everything and more than what you thought, the perfect manifestation of you and Spencer’s love for each other. 

Genevieve Rosalind Reid was born early November 10th. Given the name Genevieve after the song, Lady Genevieve, you and Spencer loved so much and Rosalind after famous female scientist Rosalind Franklin. 

Not more than a couple of hours after the rest of the team is slinking into the room to get a peak at the baby, bearing gifts and congratulations to you both. Spencer managed to negotiate with the doctor to at least have a bed moved into your room so if they were going to make him lay and rest at least he could be near you and the baby. Soon, one by one the team starts leaving the last being Penelope who Derek had to haul away with him. You turn to Spencer once they’re gone. 

“I love you, Spencer. I’m sorry I didn’t say it. I was scared.” 

“I know, Y/N. I love you, why were you scared?” 

“I didn’t want to lose you with my selfishness. Genevieve needs you more than I do, I didn’t want to sacrifice her having both parents because I couldn’t control myself.” 

He reaches across the aisle between your beds for your hand which you stretch to him as well. “I’m not going anywhere.” He says looking you in your eyes. “I would never abandon either of you. I love you, but no matter what happens between us, we’ll make it work. For Genevieve.” 

“For Genevieve.” You repeat back.  

------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s been about 9 months since you had Genevieve and you and Spencer we’re still going strong. Though the first couple of months were difficult with Spencer being injured and having an actual newborn to care for. You were still better than before, Spencer made things better. Genevieve was perfect and looking more and more like Spencer with each passing day. In fact, it seemed the only trait she did take from you was a wild stubbornness and love for Disney movies. 

You were out walking Genevieve in her stroller when you got a call. 

“Hey Spence. What’s up?” 

“Hey, where are you?” You hear over the line. 

“I’m walking with Gen in the park.” You say. 

“Do you want to meet at the coffee shop on the corner?” 

You shrug even though he can’t see it. “Sure, get me a cold brew.”  

You push the stroller into the coffee shop ten minutes later and walk over to the corner table you and Spencer have deemed yours. Your daughter is already fussy and making grabby hands for Spencer, who smiles and scoops her out the stoller. 

“Hey, Bug.” He says, sweetly as your daughter smiles brightly at him.

“God, she’s such a traitor. Instantly forgets I exist as soon as she sees you.” You say, as he hands her back so you can put in the high chair for lunch. You’re opening her banana and pears baby food when you notice it. “Why do you have my laptop?” You ask. 

“Well, open it.” 

You give Spencer a weird look before handing him the food to feed Genevieve so you can open the laptop. Your heart stops for a second as you read what’s on the screen. 

“A PowerPoint, really?” You chuckle. “Spencer, what is this?” 

“This is Reasons Why You Should Marry Me.” He says, looking up to look you in the eyes. 

“Yea, I got that from the title, Spence.” You chuckle, wetly. “And you thought a PowerPoint was the best way to ask?” 

“Well, I felt you’d be more inclined to consider it if you knew I spent time on a presentation.” 

“That’s true.” You say, chuckling at the memory of your first friendly encounter. You take the food back from him. “Well, show me what you got.” 

“Okay, Reason #1, You love me.” You laugh, nodding as he goes to the next slide. “And I love you. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” 

“Spencer…” You said, swooning slightly. 

“#2, I’d be a great husband.” 

“That’s a debatable fact.” You say, chuckling. 

“Have I given you any indication that I wouldn’t be?” 

You smile and shake your head no. 

“#3, I have a ring, a very pretty one that Garcia helped me pick out and it’s yours if you say yes.” Spencer says, that makes you laugh loudly because of course she did, no wonder she’d been acting weird at work for the past couple of weeks. “In all seriousness… Y/N, I love you and I feel like I’ve loved since you brought me to this coffee shop more than a year ago and asked me to make the best decision of my life. You are my best friend, the mother of my child… I can’t think of anyone else I’d want to share my life with. So..” Spencer takes that moment to stand to kneel down on one knee. “Will you marry me, Please.” 

The tears that had been threatening to fall since he started were coming in full swing now. You nodded fast. “Yes! 1000% yes!” You exclaim. Spencer takes that moment to slide the ring on to your finger as you hear the faint applause from the bored baristas in the empty coffee shop who have gotten to know you both over the years. Spencer sweeps you into a deep kiss, that you can barely stop smiling for. You pull apart when you hear Genevieve start to babble in her highchair, reaching for the two of you. 

“Oh, come here, Bug.” You say, going to pick her up, kissing the top of her head. “Can’t stand not being the center of attention, huh?” 

“Well, she is her mother’s daughter.” Spencer chuckles when you level a bored expression at him. “Come on, let’s get out of here.” He says, starting to pack Genevieve’s stuff back into her stroller. “What movie are we watching tonight?” He asks. 

You think for a second. “How’s Wall-E sound?” 

Spencer smiles when he hears you say the first movie you watched together. That was the night he knew for sure that he was going to marry you someday. You didn’t know it yet, but Spencer did, and he was rarely wrong. 

“Sounds wonderful, baby.” He smiles, as the three of you walk out of the coffee shop, a newly cemented family.

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#criminal minds #bau x reader #spencer x reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer x you #spencer reid x you #spencer x reader smut #spencer reid x reader smut #criminal minds smut #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid smut #bau x y/n #bau #spencer x y/n #spencer reid

[glowingbadger]

SFW and nsfw request for Hilda, Marianne, and Dorothea pls!

Three lovely ladies coming right up ~ (I'm keeping things a tiny bit more brief than some other posts for each character since we have three this time around so this doesn't get too crazy long lol- I'm trying to pace myself a little better these days)

SFW (nsfw below the cut)

Hilda:

- Hilda is so fun as a partner, since she always knows how to have a good time without stressing the little things (or the medium things... or the big things...). She fully encourages you to join her in her lifelong effort to live as easily and comfortably as possible, and she hates to see you anxious or stressed. When you're in a bad mood, few people are as relaxing to be around, as she probably has a cute little craft she could use your help on while reminding you that "we're together, right? So between the two of us, we can get as much done with half the effort- so don't worry about the boring stuff!"

- She's the type to have really cute, thoughtful ideas for dates and gifts, but then to play it off completely when you thank or compliment her. She'll downplay gifts with a glib, "Oh, well, I was just in the mood to throw something together- it is nice though, isn't it?" doing her best to hide the please flush across her cheeks. She's confident, of course, but she doesn't immediately want to let on how much effort actually goes into her shows of affection. Overall, she's a little concerned by how her feelings for you make her want to put in effort, so if anyone comments on it, she'll do her best to disregard the conversation and act like her 'normal' self.

Marianne:

- As you might imagine, she needs a lot of assurance that you're sure you want to be with her- it simply seems too good to be true, when she harbors so many deeply seeded doubts about herself. With a good amount of encouragement though, she's a very loyal and affectionate partner. She's great at remembering birthdays, anniversaries and the like, always putting her whole heart into finding just the right token to show you the strength of her feelings. She'll also do her best to say it aloud, but she tends to murmur and stutter her way through her attempts- at least until a good while into the relationship.

- in a sort of cat-like way, her main way of showing her affection is to simply be near you (though of course, she asks over and over whether it bothers you to have her around). She loves to spend time quietly together, resting her head on your shoulder or your lap. The cutest thing is that, when you're relaxing together like this, if you brush her bangs aside and kiss her forehead, or simply smile warmly at her and tell her something simple and sweet, like how lovely her eyes are- and she just melts. Her face burns bright crimson, and she'll try to hide behind her hands, but it's obvious she's just overwhelmingly flattered.

Dorothea:

- Being with Dorothea is sometimes like dating a celebrity- you're asked for details about her and your relationship with her all the time, and you're considered more of a catch simply for being with her. She is, of course, aware of all of this, and simply rolls her eyes at the attention. For as glamorous as she seems, and as 'wild' as others assume your relationship must be, Dorothea actually has a rather classic idea of how relationships go. She enjoys all of the sweet little gestures and day-to-day expressions of affection- even just casually holding hands as you walk through town, or taking a bite of a pastry you hold out for her over tea.

- It's going to take a lot to make Dorothea feel secure enough to truly settle down with one person. It's always been her ultimate goal, of course, and her feelings for you are true and strong- but she's so accustomed to being self sufficient and independent. Best practice is to assure her that she's still more than welcome to exercise that independence as much as it suits her, and that you'll always be there when she does need your support. That level of understanding is a huge comfort to her. Perhaps paradoxically, knowing that she's free to do as she likes actually makes her far more willing to compromise here and there, and be giving and generous to her partner.

NSFW 18+ v

Mostly Gender Neutral, some AMAB

Hilda:

- It might not be a surprise that Hilda loves being coddled and spoiled in bed- but her absolute favorite is receiving oral. Her clit is very sensitive, and going down on her will have her moaning blissfully and arching up from the bed. If you're really devoted, it won't take long to learn how to get her to squirt like this. Pressing the flat of your tongue firmly to her clit and pulsing against her, moaning as you hold onto her thighs make her cum hard, her vision going white as she whimpers out your name.

- In general, Hilda likes to be with a soft dom. She likes a lover who takes the lead and directs her, but isn't too demanding or harsh, instead cooing to her about what a good girl she is for you, how wonderful her body feels, how cute she is when she moans your name. Her favorite position is to have you fucking her from behind with her lower body propped up on a pillow- and with time, she even discovers that she loves having you grab a hand full of her hair and tug on it while you thrust into her. It's a gorgeous view as well, since she has a nicely defined but plump ass that bounces beautifully against you as you buck into her.

- Hilda is quite fond of cockwarming and similar kinks, and the occasional slow, lazy love-making session with you spooning her in bed as your hips sway against her. She likes this relaxing, low-pressure way of feeling intimate with you, and given her clit is so sensitive, it's not like she requires a huge amount of stimulation to cum. She'll gladly spend a night in bed casually chatting as you slide into her and just savor the warmth of her wet cunt swallowing you.

Marianne:

- You're likely to be her first sexual partner, and it's going to take a long while for her to even feel comfortable exposing herself to you. With enough reassurance and a lot of pre-sex fooling around (one night you may just touch each other a bit while making out, then she may be comfortable with your fingers the next time, and so on), she eventually gains the confidence to realize that you do truly want her, and she wants you dearly as well. Eventually, the trust itself becomes oddly arousing to her, and while it will take a long time to discover this, she actually adores being blindfolded while you take your time touching and savoring her body. Being forced to focus so intently on physical sensation clears her mind of her anxieties.

- Marianne is surprisingly vocal in bed, though she doesn't want to be. It's honestly adorable, the way her hands cling to the sheets or to your body, her face a bright pink as she bites on her lip to stifle an adoring moan. Even light touches down the small of her back or up the curve of her inner thigh cause her to catch her breath, looking up at you adoringly with those big, shining eyes. Trying to hold back her moans is something she's not likely to 'grow out of' with experience, but she's so precious when her eyes roll back and she's whining and whimpering just to keep from crying out your name, it's hard to be upset about it.

Dorothea:

- Dorothea knows what she's doing, and she knows it- and she knows that she's tempting. While not an outright Dom by default (though she can definitely be encouraged into that role and she takes to it marvelously), she is confident and direct in bed. She'll smirk as she straddles your hips and runs her hands down your body, commenting on how she just can't wait to see you completely cut loose. In particular, she loves when you try to play cool and act as though she's not driving you mad with desire, only to fall apart as she pleasures you, gasping her name and leaning into her touch, or even breaking your sense of restraint and pinning her to the mattress to ravage her.

- She's not terribly loud in bed, much more likely to whisper sweet, sultry flattery into your ear. When she does let out an earnest moan, it's luxurious and lustful, almost song-like in its own right. Dorothea is also not shy about telling you what she likes or about trading notes on different positions or kinks you may want to try. She knows that everyone has unique desires, and she sees sex as both a bonding experience for the two of you, and as something that should be fun and easily enjoyed by you both.

- Dorothea loves giving tit-jobs and she is incredible at them. Even if you're just using a strap, she loves showing off her body to you, watching the expression of awe, admiration and a touch of disbelief as she puts on a lewd show of bouncing her breasts around your length. Her technique is impressive, and she's good enough at reading people that she'll easily figure out what you like best. Do you want to see the tip of your length pushing up from her cleavage, or would you prefer the warmth of her lips around your tip? How tight do you like her to squeeze her tits around you, and what pace gets you panting and bucking against her? She'll have you figured out in no time.

#hilda valentine goneril #marianne von edmund #dorothea arnault #hilda x reader #marianne x reader #dorothea x reader #fire emblem #fire emblem headcanons #spicy headcanons #fire emblem smut #fire emblem imagines #fe3h #feh #fire emblem three houses #x reader #fire emblem x reader

[mythicalninjas]

From anon's request: Hey it’s the Anon from last time! I loved the HC’S they were amazing! I have another prompt: the boys with a super nice S/O who just fucking snaps one day (and surprisingly It’s really hot) bonus If S/O’s anger dies down and they pretend like it never happened and If anyone wants to bring it up they’ll have to deal with her new and improved sparring regimen.

Leo and Raph's part is here

Donnie:

You barely see Donnie in a "red code" mood.

Actually, you don't remember when was the last time that you saw him that way

Well, not in a hard anger mode...

And you have no idea how you would deal with an anger Donnie

But, now, who is anger is you

Anger with an stupid thing

(Or not)

With anger driving you crazy, you arrived in the lair like a soldier walking, hitting your feet quickly while walks to his Battle Tartaruga Brothers truck. The only place that you could have a moment of peace and chill you out

You sit down on a mini couch and placed your head on both of your hands, trying to do that breathe exercise that Splinter taught you to calm down

You got even more anger when you noticed it didn't worked

"Damn!" You whispered, disappointed that your anger didn't desapeared

"Dove?" He called from driver's

You jumped

"WTF?! Wasn't he supposed to be in the lab?!" You thought

"What are you doing here?!"

"I must ask the same" he said as he looks behind towards you

"Are you okay?"

You just closed your eyes and take a few deep breaths to not explode, making your chest rise up and fall back. Slowly

And it made your boyfriend goes crazy

By hotness!

The truck shakes a little when your boyfriend gets off from it. You could hear his steps moving around the great machine and stopping in front of the opened door behind

He just stands there staring at you. His facial expression clearly showing surprise and shock at same time with your sudden change behaving

"What happened?" He simply asked

"Nothing."

"Dove..."

"I said nothing happened!" You shoot

"Dove, dove, dove..."

You glanced at him

He knew that you aren't in good mood but he has something "magic" to change this not-welcomed behaving

He bowed his kept in this position

What is he doing? And why is he looking to the ground?

You kept in silence while he climbs into the truck with his head bowed like that, without even lifting it to look to where he is going

Then he stopped in front of you

And kneeled

"What are you doing?"

Even he kneeled, he's higher than you

So slowly Donnie started to look up at you

And make eye contact with you

You have to admit that you're getting scared by his act

It's so... creapy

"Donnie" you called

He just stares at you

"Donnie, I'm not kidding"

He continued staring at you and then whispered "Neither me."

You eyes went wide

You yelled when he threw you on your back on the mini couch and fill you with tinkles. Too many tinkles

A tickles attack!

That smirk on his face

"Stop! St-op! I-"

"What? Can you resist my tickles?"

The anger started to wash away when your laughs filled the truck

"Je- HAHAHA- stop- HAHA"

"Perfect. That is what I like" he smiled, moving his hands away and placing them on your hips

You got to a conclusion that your boyfriend for sure has magic for everything

"Sorry *deep breath* about the *deep breath* way I acted, love *deep breath*

He shook his head "It's okay, dove. I just don't like see you down like that. What happened?" he strokes you hips

"I..." you took another deep breath "I argued with my father before I prepare myself to come here. I got so angry-"

"Ssshhh" he murmued, putting his big green finger above your lips "I know you're going through a not good time but let me make you feel better again"

You couldn't help but smile "I'd love it love..."

Mikey:

"No!"

"angelcakes, tell me!"

"No!"

"Tell me what happened! I wanna help you!"

"Mikey, not now, please!"

"Aw man!" he groaned

You used to be an angelcakes for him but... you're full of anger today

Like Raph

Why?

He grabs your shoulders and shakes you "I can't help you if you don't tell me what happened, sweet cheeks!"

Your anger grew up even more and you tried so hard to not throw it above your poor and cute boyfriend

"Mikey, enough! Can't you see that I'm not good today?!" you shoot

Mikey releases your shoulders and takes a step back. You never ever treated him like that—never ever since you both met each other

Well, let's guess that this baby terrapin is already get used by these kind of behaving, mainly coming from Raph

But he wasn't expecting it from you

You walked away slowly, head bowed

He doesn't like seeing you that way, so... Mikey to the rescue!

He thought for a moment about his plan

The "Making Y/N happy" plan

"So..."

You rolled your eyes

He remembered of something precious, something gold in the fridge. Something you love with all of your heart

He lets out an evil chuckle and walked towards the kitchen

Your eyes lift and followed his moviment through the lair

You asked to yourself what he was doing.

"Nah, just Mikey things" you thought

He opened the fridge and buried his head into it, looking for the "golden" sweet

You lift an eyebrow

"Ha!"

You jumped a little

He closed the fridge and looked back at you smirking

"I've got something that will bring my angelcakes back" he laughed as that villains or crazy scientists from cartoons

You shook your head and rolled your eyes

Mikey being Mikey

"Come on, sweetheart. Try to find out what I've got here"

"Mikey..."

"Come on"

"Mikey."

"It is a thing you LOVE"

"Mikey, please. My patience is almost exploding today"

"Oh, really?" He tilted his head, grinning "close your eyes, my angel"

You let out a sigh "Mikey, I'm-", "Close your eyes". Sighing heavily you finally closed your eyes.

You felt the sofa beside you sink and a hand landing on your shoulder "Open your mouth"

You sigh again and opened

Less then a second you feel a sweet testing, a familiar see sweet testing

A delicious sweet testing

Chocolate

You let out a soft moan

"I knew it" he grinned

"You always surprise me, Mikey..." you said while you are eating the choco

"Thank you!" he pulls you closer and whispered "buuuuut there's more something I've got here"

You glanced at him "What?"

He placed his hand behind your head and pulls you for a kiss. And this time you accepted, surrending yourself.

After a moment he pulled away

"FINALLY I made you happy! My plan worked!"

"Wait, your plan?" You smiled. "Yeah. My plans never goes wrong"

You love this boy so much!

He got into a conclusion that little things can make big changes

#tmnt #tmnt x reader #bayverse tmnt #tmnt 2016 #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016 x reader #tmnt donatello #tmnt michelangelo #teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles out of the shadows

[awanderingdeal]

An unfair race

I finally finished this! This fic is kind of a follow on to Endless Nights. Note: That fic is rated M and contains some sexual content, but you do not need to read it for this to make sense. I wanted to combine Finn talking with Heather, and an aspect of the discussion after that fic, where we talked about athletes in particular using exercise as a coping mechanism, and how this can sometimes turn unhealthy.

Some content warnings for this one: over exercise (if you'd like to skip the explicit description of this, skip to after the first stars, although there are a couple of mentions throughout), food mentions, self-depreciation and mentions of coming out/being outed.

Rating: T

If you feel I missed any content warnings or need to change the rating, please drop me a message!

The characters in this fic are from the sweater weather universe and belong to @lumosinlove

Finn’s entire body ached as his feet pounded against the path once more. His form was sloppy now, shoulders too hunched over and his strides falling without any real control. He forced himself onwards, breaths coming in fast pants, the straining muscles of his quads screaming desperately for more oxygen. And yet, his brain still whirred, obnoxiously loud thoughts pushing their way back to the forefront each time Finn managed to grasp a few blissful quiet seconds. He’d lost count of the number of times he’d passed the statue of the girl and her ducks, the smile on her face that he normally found so comforting becoming more and more irritating with each meeting. As he came to the gates of the park, Finn contemplated going home, but even just the reduced speed had brought the taunting thoughts back with a vengeance. One more go.

***

"H, has her jacket on. Has everybody got their game faces ready, boys?" It had been at least 30 minutes since James had made the joke as they all tumbled from the locker room, yet the sound of bright laughter still rang in Finn's ears.

He watched as Heather tugged her suit jacket more tightly around her, their eyes meeting for the third time in short succession. Fuck. Finn pushed his tongue against his mouthguard, sinking his teeth into the hard plastic. Later, self-inflicted as the need would be, he would complain about the new one he’d have moulded, each guard always feeling slightly different. For now, the rhythmic clench of his jaw was soothing.

Finn forced a breath through his nose, trying not to react too visibly as Heather dipped her head once more to add another scribbled note to the small, black book she carried everywhere. He forced himself to look away, knowing his constant glances were giving away his unease. Whilst Heather didn’t come to every training session, not even most, it wasn’t that uncommon to see her hovering around the edges of the ice, and ordinarily, only the very newest of the team paid any attention to her beyond an initial greeting.

“Earth to O’Hara!”

Finn held up his hand in apology, shaking himself back to the training session. Kasey’s eyes bored into him. It wasn't his usual intense stare, but something more concerned and Finn waited for the inevitable question. After a long few seconds, Kasey's eyes dropped to the puck, passing it back to Finn to take another shot.

The numbers on the clock inched forwards, slow and heavy like the sweet sticky molasses Leo was so fond of. Still, when Coach finally dismissed them for the day, Finn found himself wanting to take another lap. If he could get his thighs to burn enough then his head would race a little less, and it wouldn’t be too suspicious; Finn’s record of being last on the ice was surpassed only by Sirius. Before Finn could really consider it, Leo was next to him, knocking their shoulders together.

“Hey,” Leo cocked his head slightly, hair ruffled from the mask he’d recently pulled off and his pale skin glistening with sweat. He looked as beautiful as ever. Illogical as it was, it somehow made the dull ache in Finn's chest worse. "Everything good?"

"Yeah," Finn tried for a smile. "Busy brain today, that's all." There was no point brushing the question off completely; Leo was scarily observant. He and Logan often joked that he had eyes in the back of his head. Finn had no doubt he had caught the many pucks he had missed over the last hour.

"That sucks," Leo said, scepticism leaking into his voice. "Is there anything I can do to help?" Finn followed his glance behind them to where Logan was tussling with Jackson, loud rumblings of French intertwined with their laughter. "Or Lo, perhaps?"

"I like it when he looks like that,” Finn sighed.

"Mmm, me too” Leo hummed, his features softening. “Don’t think I didn’t notice that change of subject though, Sir. You don’t have to talk to me about it, but please don’t bottle it all."

Finn slumped into his stall, smiling as Leo lifted his hand to press a kiss to the knuckles. “I’m dealing with it.”

“Baby,” Leo started, his next word morphing into a stunted exhalation of air. His eyes closed briefly, his shoulders squaring before he relaxed them. He opened his mouth again, the sentence uttered clearly not what he’d originally planned on saying. "I'm going to take my padding off and head to see Lars. I think Loops is sticking around so I can get a ride with him if you two want to go home?"

Finn thought back to the quiet look of concern on Logan's face after he'd got home from his run the previous evening, and to the creased lines of worry at the corners of Leo's eyes earlier. "I think I might go and see Heather," he shrugged.

"Thank God," Logan appeared, wrapping his arms around Finn's waist. "Your runs were getting ridiculous."

"You didn't say anything?" Finn turned in Logan's arms, to rest his chin on top of his head.

"We were going to give you one more day. Leo wanted to speak to you this evening, only I had faith.”

"Oh, fuck off," Leo laughed. "You were just avoiding the conversation."

“I’m offended that you would even suggest that,” Logan burrowed into Finn’s chest. The sweat soaked gear they wore didn’t smell great, but neither of them seemed to care.

Moody huffed as he veered around them, his arms filled with tape. “No canoodling in the locker room.”

***

“As lovely as this chat has been Finn, if you really did just come in to catch up then I’m going to have to ask you to leave. I’ve got a couple of sessions this afternoon, and a mound of paperwork to complete,” Heather shifted in the forest green bucket chair. They were new since Finn had last been in here, replacing an ugly leather thing that Heather had always complained was too stereotypical. She’d removed her jacket now that she was back in her heated office, the item hung on the back of the door where it rightfully belonged.

Finn, freshly showered and changed, sat cross legged in the chair opposite. He reached forward to grab more pretzel sticks from the bowl on the table between them, puckering his lips as his tongue protested another injection of salt. “You know there is something I could do with your opinion on.”

Despite the reaction being minute, Finn saw the tiny upwards quirk of Heather’s lips. “Go on,” she encouraged.

“It’s dumb,” Finn muttered, drumming his fingers against the arm of the chair.

“Thoughts don’t have moral value Finn, it’s what we do with that’s important.” Heather pulled a handful of tissues from a box on the table, holding them out. “Tap away, but please spare the upholstery.”

“Sorry,” Finn grimaced, cleaning his hands of the salty residue.

“No need to apologise, I’m just still a bit precious about the new furniture.” Heather smiled. “Why do you think your issue is dumb?”

“It’s -” Finn tugged at his sleeve. “I can just never be happy with what I’ve got can I? I spent 8 years saying that if Logan could just love me back then I’d never complain again. And now I’ve got Logan and Leo and I’m still not happy.”

“What’s making you unhappy?

Finn breathed in deeply, scrunching his eyes shut. He’d spent weeks stuffing the pain into the tiniest box he could in his brain, and now here Heather was asking him to just - talk about it?

“Finn, look at me?” Finn did as he was asked, lifting his head to find Heather’s kind eyes. “I’m going to reiterate something I’ve said before. You can say anything you want here. It doesn’t matter if it’s selfish or unkind or if you think it’s stupid. Unless I think you’re a danger to yourself or anybody else, then nobody is going to hear about it.”

Finn bit his lip, wiggling his toes beneath his legs. “I get jealous,” he rushed out. “I get jealous of Cap and Loops and Potts and Lily and all those other couples who just get to hug and kiss and tell the cameras how stupidly in love they are.” He paused, the panic of having told somebody matching the relief, but now the words had started tumbling out he couldn’t stop. “I get so angry about it. Sometimes, for the tiniest second, I hate them. All of them.” he whispered, barely able to admit it. “And then I just feel worse. Because I love them too and it’s not their fault. Cap and Loops didn’t even get a choice in the matter. How messed up is it to be jealous of somebody that got outed?”

“Emotions are complex. It is possible for you to have sympathy for Sirius and Remus, whilst still feeling jealous that they now can be more open about their relationship.”

'I don't like it," Finn huffed. The sentence had come out mimicking a toddler having a tantrum. Finn wanted to act like one too, to throw himself on the floor and scream.

“Have you spoken to Leo or Logan about it?”

“No,” Finn frowned. “It would just make them sad and I don’t want them to pressure them. I don’t want them to know I think such horrible things.”

“Okay,” Heather nodded. “Imagine one of them came to you and told you everything you’d just told me. What would you say to them?”

“Wait.” A distressed noise fell from Finn’s lips. “Do they talk to you about this too? Both of them make a comment here or there, but we talked about it not long ago and we agreed that we weren’t ready.”

“Finn, you know I can’t tell you about what I discuss with Leo or Logan.”

“It was worth a shot,” Finn shrugged.

“So, what would you say?”

“I’d say they are entitled to be jealous. I'd say it’s not fair we don’t get to do everything the others do just because the world is homophobic and close minded and can’t imagine the three of us could love each other exactly the same as every other more traditional couple. I’d say that I know they don’t hate Cap or Loops or Potts or Lily, they hate the situation and that’s completely understandable. It fucking sucks and they can be angry about it." Finn drew in a hulking breath, Heather's outline a little blurred through his wet eyes. Each word had sent an aching pain through his body, similar to when he ran, only now he felt like was chasing something cathartic rather than running away.

"Earlier you said what you had to tell me was dumb," Heather said. "Can you explain why you think that it's dumb for you to feel that way, horrible even, but if it were Leo or Logan their feelings are valid."

"Maybe it's not dumb," Finn looked down at his hands, tracing over the freckles there. "But that doesn't change the fact I don't like having those thoughts. Especially when I don't want to act on them. I’m okay with waiting to tell people about us, if we ever do. They're not ready. I'm not ready."

"That’s something we can work on. Helping you to reframe those thoughts, I mean.” Heather slipped her notebook from where it had been tucked beside her and made a note. Finn leaned his elbow on his leg, tucking his chin onto his fist, trying to make his attempts to see the page surreptitious. Capping her pen, she gave a small chuckle, “I’m just leaving myself a reminder of what we’ve discussed. You can always ask what I’m writing, I’m not trying to keep secrets from you.”

Finn sat back, the book no longer quite so interesting now that it wasn’t forbidden. “So? That’s it?”

Heather hummed. “For today. I think you’ve got a lot to think about already. I’ll schedule some more sessions with you over the next few days, okay? It’ll give me a chance to get some new pretzels.”

"Thanks," Finn laughed, then gestured at the empty bowl. "For the pretzels. And the talk."

“That’s what I’m here for,” Heather said. “I’m just going to ask one thing of you before I see you next. Please try to keep your evening runs to a reason-”

“Who snitched?”

“There was no snitching, as you call it. We’ve just known each other for a while now, Finn. And as an employee of the Lions whose job it is to make sure you’re at top playing ability, I don’t want you to injure yourself. As your psychologist, I want you to have healthy coping mechanisms and exercising to that extent is not healthy.”

“I know,” Finn unfolded his legs, stretching them out. They’d gone stiff after being sat on for so long, the sensation coming back with an uncomfortable tingle. “I’ll try to keep the runs in check, promise.” His gaze fell on the closed door, steeling himself to leave. He stood, sending Heather one last smile. It was safe in here, but his boys were out there.

“See you soon, Finn.”

Stepping out of the office, Finn closed his eyes, giving himself a second to compose himself. A rustle of movement to his left caught his attention, startling a little at the sight of Leo and Logan. They sat on the floor, Leo’s hand resting on Logan’s knee where they were hunched to his chest.

“Sorry,” Leo scrambled to his feet, his arm outstretched to let Logan pull himself upright too. “We didn’t want to wait too far away. In case, well, I don’t know, you needed us.”

Finn joined them, immediately finding Logan attached to his side, his familiar warmth exactly what he wanted right now. “I’m okay,” he assured. “I’m not sure I’m ready to talk about it with you guys just yet. I need a bit of time to process, but just you being here makes things better. I’m going to see Heather a bit more too.”

“Proud of you.” Leo flanked him on the other side, taking his hand. Finn didn’t get to be in the middle often, Logan usually claiming the spot, and he felt like he had a kind of shield. “We just want you to be happy. And safe.”

“Can we go home, please?”

“Ouais, home,” Logan agreed.

#finn o'hara #logan tremblay #leo knut #heather #sweater weather #coast to coast #lumosinlove #rating: t #cw: overexercising #cw: food #cw: self-depreciation #cw: coming out #cw:outing

[carelessannie]

Tony takes three steps around the corner and stops short, standing up straight.

"Oh," he muttered after a moment, caught between wariness and delight. "Oh, Parker is not going to like that."

Swinging the halter and rope cheerfully, he continued towards the second field where Licurgo was, for lack of a better way to describe it, flirting.

Speak of the devil - the sense of being judged was almost tangible and Tony turned his head to see a pert little ass and an upturned nose marching parallel towards the fields with him, so intent on letting Tony know he didn't care for his presence that he hadn't yet noticed the way his precious little trust fund pony was all but wrapped around Tony's 'backwater hick horse.'

Tony leaned against the fence with a cheerful smirk and waited. Three... Two...

"What the fuck is your horse doing to Bal?!"

One.

"I believe its called bond-building grooming," Tony answered smugly, head cocking as he eyed the yard's star English pupil. Peter was staring with abject horror at where Balagur and Licurgo had their necks entwined, nibbling away at each other's fur in a friendly display.

Peter's cheeks had already obtained an affronted pink flush the shade of cotton candy. The stick up his ass seemed to grow in size, lending his spine a ramrod straight air.

"Look at them being B-F-F's," Tony cooed, shooting Peter a shit-eating grin.

"Shut up," Peter demanded crossly, arms folding and cheeks darkening. Over Peter's shoulder Tony could see Bucky heading straight for them, obviously anticipating that this would bubble over into another of their famous spats.

"It's not a big deal. I'll bet if we go back a few pages in their pedigrees they're even distant cousins."

"Oh please, you wish Licurgo had any of Bal's blood," Peter sniffed at him, shooting him a scowl. His cheeks were the color of roses now, dusky and hot. His brows had pinched down into what Tony liked to call his Regina George bitchface.

He pursed his lips.

"You know... Its not uncommon for bachelor stallions to form intimate bonds. Maybe they're lovers."

Bang went that pretty faced bomb.

Sheer outrage took over Peter's face and he squealed in fury, lunging for Tony. A set of strong arms wrapped around his waist and bodily hauled him off the floor like a scruffed kitten, the prissy little brat writhing and hissing in Bucky's arms.

"Whoa-hoah there, spitfire," Bucky laughed as he lifted Peter up, holding him against his chest and taking waddled steps backwards so Tony was out of range of those slender, deceptively powerful legs.

"I'm going to collect my homosexual stallion now. Toodle-pip," Tony announced cheerfully, slinging the rope over his shoulder and vaulting the fence as Peter yowled behind him.

(Find the first part here)

The worst part was— after Peter calmed down enough to finish training for the day, he could already notice a difference in Balagur’s attitude. His sweet, pure baby usually gets a second wind in the afternoon, eager to perform and even becoming more affectionate as the end of the day draws near.

But instead of excitable energy, Peter actually found himself correcting Bal twice when his posture slumped forward, deflating in a long sigh.

Once, he could understand. He pushes hard, and knows that even a stallion as fine as his Russian trotter will need a break from time to time.

Twice, and Peter was growing suspicious. He guided Bal through a series of exercises, and almost fainted to notice the horse practically dragging his feet around turns, the rhythm of his steps barely in cadence.

Balagur— Peter’s prized, award-winning and meticulously trained stallion— was throwing a temper tantrum.

Okay, Peter took a deep breath, forcing his aura to remain level-set and peaceful, he just needs some time.

Peter slowly approached where Bal was standing, making sure to remain in sight and keep his hands well within view. He wished he had a snack— it always helps to have a bribe on hand if needed.

“Shh,” Peter cooed, drawing a gloved hand up the side of Balagur’s neck, making sure to scratch behind his ears as well, “who’s my best boy, hm? Sweet, strong boy like you— what are you doing getting caught up on some second class set of hooves?”

He used both hands now to smooth out the brilliant white coat, making sure to stare deep into his horse’s eyes, “Listen to me— he’s nothing but trouble, understand? I don’t care how he sweet talks you, or how great he looks in that saddle, or how dark his hair is…”

Peter trailed off, absently thinking… not about Licurgo, but about the other stallion’s rider instead. He shook his head, focusing again, “Nevertheless! We have goals, yes? Two weeks to get down this routine, and then we’ll be draped in gold— how does that sound?”

He smiled down into Bal’s deep, dark eyes, admiring his boy’s beauty.

“I think it sounds good, sugar,” a voice called, startling Peter out of his daze. “Would love to see a pretty thing like you draped in gold, not that you don’t look stunning as is.”

Tony. The other man was settled against the fence, chewing on— is that really a piece of straw? Peter scoffed and gathered Bal’s reins, “Are you following me? Because I thought I made it perfectly clear—”

“Oh, no no no,” Tony grinned around the straw, tipping his head back to give Peter a salacious once over, “m’just here makin’ sure the goods are being taken care of.”

Peter is going to curse himself for asking, “And the goods are?”

Tony just smiled wider, looking between the two of them in some type of wild glee. Peter almost had to stop himself from smiling along. Almost.

“How’s ole’ Bal behavin’ today, sugar?” Tony asked instead, following them as they headed back to the stables, “I’ll tell ya— my boy was throwing a fit after you separated ‘em like that. Sure makes you think…”

Peter gripped the reins tighter, barely holding back his rage as he turned to give Tony an earful, but somehow the older man was already heading in the other direction.

“Pretentious cowboy,” Peter hissed, turning back to his horse, to his priorities.

He gave one last look over his shoulder, taking in the view of Tony’s firm, sculpted ass in his faded Levi’s.

No. Priorities.

#starker #riding au #carelessendgame #i blame jensen #second installment?? I guess #part two #ironspider #peter x tony #cowboy au #balagur the pining stallion #licurgo the poor fool #reins not reigns discourse #ask annie

[i-need-air]

Katsuki with daughter hc? I'm dead (x-x) that piece is so precious I can't!!!! Imagine him with a twin both boys with different personalities, the other one is energetic and the other one is shy but they are both angels (like a kirshima and deku) he loves them all and and andd aughhh!😭 my heart can't take it!! -🧸🎂

Yes. This. Yes. Yes. Aha. This is it. This is my life juice. This right here. Fuck me up. Give me. I need this now. Bakugou with twin boys is the dream.

Hybrid!Bakugou with twin boys HCs:

× so we established his daughter would be just like him but;

× i live for this ask right now because it's absolutely precious!

× imagine his surprise when be finds out you're having twins

× absolutely adores them and will pamper them so much

× [ thanks the lord, the heavens, the old gods and all the stars in the galaxy because they're more chill akdjjwjdj ]

× if his daughter is daddy's little girl, the twins are glued to you and he's lowkey jealous but doesn't know if he's jealous of you since you're getting all of their attention or on them since they're getting all of your attention

× big family snuggling on the couch; everyone sprawled everywhere, the kids snuggling into you and he'd just... he'd be in his element, man;

× pulls such a soft face bc he's living for this moment

× his pack; that's it, this is his pack.

× as the twins are laid back and just smol sunshines, he'd be a little worried but both of them have each other's backs!

× one would be the one doing all the socializing while the other would calm the situation even from an early age

× they wouldn't fight and that's a relief; I feel that combo of personalities would make such a great team, for real.

× [ part 2 of thanking the heavens but ok ]

× he'd play with them and also teach them how to growl

× imagine one growling lively and the other letting out a very shy rawr then cry bc he didn't make it

× Katsuki would pat his head and reassure him; "It's ok, kid, you'll get it someday. Now show me your teeth!"

× he makes a face at smol bean until he starts laughing through the tears

× this man will feel so accomplished it's surreal

× the twins will also be his biggest fans too; think about them talking with other kids at the playground and saying "My dad is the strongest!" and "Yeah, he's so cool."; meanwhile Bakugou, who was just keeping an eye on them, grins like a mad man bc FUCK YES HE IS DAMMIT!

× instantly sends you messages about it to make you feel jealous but blushes bright red if you say something along the lines of "Of course you are!"

× that being said—

× Katsuki will always make sure they have their favorite food prepared and that's a hassle to say at least! Both have completely different tastes too

× bitches about the kids but with no backbone

× akdjskdjdj everyone, gather around in a circle and let's have an imagining exercise: Bakugou manhandling them; never ever hurts them but let's say he throws one on his shoulder and picks the other in his hand like a baggage, limbs dangling and both laughing at their dad 💕

× or just grabs one by the hood of his tiny hoodie and another from his ankle and just places them on the couch until he finishes cleaning or something

× if they run up to you and jump on you he's again showing that soft look and it's so adorable...

× THEIR TAILS WOULD BE WAGGING WHEN RUNNING TO YOU AND IT'S HNNNGGNGNNNN— 💕💞💕💞💕💞

× you can tell them apart just by their tails bc the more outgoing bean wiggles it like crazy knocking stuff in his path and the shy one would just— 🥺 wave it slowly— or just the tip would wiggle a little bit;;;;

× they're still his kids so they're little shits; as much as they're normally sweet angels, they do have their moments and I'm not even sorry about it

× let's say they do blame each other for something bc they'd be terrified to blame it on their bigger sister akddjdkkd at the end they're still a team but it turns out to be ridiculous...

× "No, he did it!"

× "Wasn't me..."

× "Fine, it was—uh... An alien!"

× "Y-yeah—!"

× starts bitching and cussing like a sailor: "See these brats?! Saying fuckin' E.T. broke into the fucking house and colored the walls!" He's irritated as hell but smirking at his dumbass children. [ spoiler alert: both of them did it and they fucking signed it— 💀 ]

× you all go hiking and Bakugou has a stroke bc everyone is doing their thing, running around in too many directions and he's fuming but loving it

× very active so good thing he has the energy for that even if you don't

× drops in bed at night and sighs

× hides a small smile off his face when he says "Knew you'd torture me with more devils."

× he loves them so, so much

#bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou x reader #hybrid!bakugou #hybrid!au #noire writes #bakugou with twins #I'm so soft omg