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gaysindistress · 2 months

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What if Simon didn’t listen when Price told him to apologize to his girl before she does go off and find herself a better man?

a/n: This is technically part two for this list. You could read them separately but I really think you should read them both so you can fully feel the angst.

non-mcu characters masterlist

Taglist: @going-to-ikea-for-the-fries this is one is for you girl

Price stalks over to him and grabs him by the front of his vest, not caring that everyone can see what’s going on. “You call and apologize to her right now, ya hear me? It’s unacceptable for you to lie to her like that and I should have your balls for it. You fix it before she does go off and find herself a better man.”

Now let’s say that when Simon got back, things were….different. You rarely fought but now you’re bickering about every little thing and having full on battles of the will that leave you crying in the bedroom while he’s storming out. The connection between you two feels strained and distant where’s before it was warm and comforting. You barely look at each other and sometimes you think he’s straight up ignoring you.

Even the dogs have started to notice that there’s something off about mom and dad. Most nights you’ll sleep alone with the dogs by your door while Simon is on the couch. It feels like they’re laying in wait, ready to spring into action if anything were to happen. They don’t go to him as much as they did before and your female dog, Echo, refuses to leave your side. She’s become glued to you while your other dog, Zade, keeps you within eyesight at all times. It really pisses Simon off because Zade is supposed to be his dog and the mutt won’t even look at him (Simon’s words, not yours).

It all comes to a head though one night when Simon is trying to get Zade to come with him on a walk and the dog just stares at him. He doesn’t move. He doesn’t blink. He just stares into Simon’s soul and judges him for how he’s been treating you.

“Zade! Come here now!” Simon grumbles in a half shout but the dog doesn’t move a muscle. You’re in the bedroom with Echo at your feet and she glances over at you with a look that says ‘let’s go’.

What happened next is a blur. Echo barely makes it into the living room before she’s growling and placing herself between you and Simon. Zade is up and stalking closer to his sister’s side while Simon is growing more and more angry. You don’t think you even had the time to say anything before Echo and Zade tackle Simon to the ground. You know they wouldn’t hurt him but it’s still a terrifying sight and you’re doing everything you can to get the dogs off of him. You manage to get them off but they refuse to go to their kennels and keep tucked behind you, still ready to protect you if needed.

“Simon, oh my god are you okay?” You ask him in a panicked and high pitched voice as you try to help him up. He shoves your hands off of him and accidentally uses too much force which sends you to stumbling into the dogs.

Everything is absolute chaos with his anger, the dogs trying to protect you, and now you’re crying while trying not to tell him off. At this point you grab the dogs by their collars and pull them away as tears are streaming down your face. When they hear your sniffles, they immediately give into you and let you pull them to the bedroom. You don’t hear Simon as you start to pack as much as you can. The weeks of being on edge have finally gotten to you and you’re done.

You refuse to be in a relationship with a man who isn’t willing to communicate with you.

You refuse to be in a relationship with a man who used to be the most loving and devoted man you’ve ever met but now he can’t acknowledge your presence.

You refuse to be in a relationship with a man who’s come so far and has forgiven himself for the things he’s done but now he’s slipping back into his old self destructive ways.

You refuse to be in a relationship with a man who can’t be honest with himself and admit that he’s wrong.

You refuse to be in a relationship with a man who’s become Ghost.

You’ve tried having faith in him after he broke up with you but it’s rotting you from the inside out. It’s eating away at your heart, gnawing at your ribs with your flesh stuck in its teeth. This faith is liquifying the kindness and patience you once had. It’s changing you into an anxious shell of a coward who can’t stand up for yourself. Change is alright but this is not. This change is making you cruel and hopeless while it waits for you to become a faithless savage who devours whatever light touches you.

It’s only when you come back into the living room with your bags packed and the dogs ready to go that Simon says something to you.

He questions what you’re doing.

He doesn’t apologize.

“I’m leaving. We’ll figure out everything tomorrow,” you tell him as you find your keys.

“What do you mean?”

You stop. You stare at the front door with completely blank eyes. They flicker to him over your shoulder.

“I’m leaving you. I’ll call you tomorrow and we can figure out how to make it a clean break then.”

He doesn’t say a word. Neither do you after that.

He lets you walk out the door. You don’t ask him to fight for you either.

He lets you leave him. You don’t turn back either.

You meant to drive to your friend’s place but somewhere on the way there you pull over and cry until you feel like you’re going to pass out. Zade and Echo watch from the backseat of your car with their heads on your center console. They want to comfort you but there’s not exactly room for two 100 pound dogs in the front seat so they stay put. Your friend calls you frantically because she’s not home but tells you that you should come meet her wherever she’s at. As nice as it might be to get away, it’s not appealing to you at the moment so you call the only other person you know you’d be comfortable with right now.

A part of you knows it’s a mistake to call him and if Simon finds out, he might very well almost kill his captain a third time. The other part of you knows that John would be understanding and the calm presence that you want right now. He already checks on you regularly so would it be a huge surprise if you showed up on his doorstep?

As if he’s been waiting for this moment, John already has a guest room for you and has the back door open for the dogs to run around outside. They’ve met him before so they feel more secure with leaving your side although they both give him a warning look.

Now it’s important to remember that the entire time you’ve known John, you’ve been with Simon. John thinks himself a gentleman, albeit a bit gruff, but a gentleman no less so you’ve been off limits. Obviously he can’t ignore the initial attraction he felt towards you because you are an utterly breathtaking person and it would be impossible to not notice that. He’s tried to lock away the yearning that tugs at the marrow in his bones when he sees you but it’s difficult. It’s like asking a dog to stop begging; they might listen for a moment but they go back to it within seconds. Also during the course of your friendship, he’s come to know the absolute amazing person that you are and seen that you have the kindness soul he’s ever known. It didn’t used to hurt when he saw you but after that night you texted him to keep Simon safe after he broke up with you, it’s damn near unbearable. Simon told you to find yourself a better man and John knows he could be that man. He wants to be that man but only if you come to him. He won’t approach you or even hint at it with you. It needs to be you who seeks him out. It needs to be you who wants him. It needs to be you who asks him to be that man otherwise John would never be able to forgive himself if it all went wrong.

Nothing happens that night or at all for that matter during your stay with John. It was meant to only be a few days but with losing your house so suddenly and trying to navigate a world Post Simon, it ends up being a few weeks. You feel awful about it and promise that you’ll be gone as soon as you can. John always laughs it off and tells you to stay as long as you need. Secretly he’s growing accustomed to your calming presence and gentle ways. He adores how thoughtful you are when you have to work early and barely make a sound. He appreciates how you make him a plate and leave it in the fridge if he comes home late. He’s thankful that you’re comfortable enough with him to tell him about everything that’s going on.

John made a promise to himself that he wouldn’t bring up anything unless you said something first. Even when he wants desperately to know why you’re crying when you came back from Simon’s tonight, he won’t. Instead he offers you a cup of tea, a warm blanket, and some space while he busies himself in his shop outside. It absolutely destroys him to even think about leaving you alone in the living room but it’s the right thing to do.

Just as he’s getting ready to leave, your small voice stops him.

“Can…can you stay?” It’s unusual for you to not be confident in your words. It causes him to freeze to hear the uncertainty. “If..if you want.”

He smiles at the ground before turning to look at you and nod. You’re curled into a ball on the couch with your dogs at your feet but there’s space for him next to you. You lean away from the arm of the couch and he takes the hint. Settling into the space between you and couch, he tosses his arm over the back and lets you decide how to proceed. Against your logical head, you tuck yourself into his side with yours pulled around yourself and your head on his shoulder. His fingers itch to play with the ends of your hair but they stay tightly closed around the couch cushion.

“Thank you…for everything.”

“No need for that.” He murmurs with bated breath. He knows you can feel the tension, how could you not when you’re practically laying on his chest?

“One day you’re going to accept my thanks. It might not be tomorrow or the day after, but you will,” you say with a snort. He says that every single time and you reply with the same phrase every time as well.

John’s hand betrays him and starts to play with the very ends of your hair. You feel it just like you felt his strained breathing. It’s strange to feel affection from anyone else but from him, it’s…. welcomed. You don’t acknowledge it and he knows that you’re doing that for his own sake.

“Maybe,” he tosses back and his breath catches when you move closer to him. Your arm moves to wrap around his waist and stills when he tenses. It’s your silent way of asking for consent to hold him. “Love,” he starts and moves his hand away from your hair.

You move to look at him, resting your chin on his shoulder. He’s looking at you with such tenderness and warmth it makes your stomach flip.

“Do you have feelings for me?” You ask him directly, unwilling to be tossed around again. It’s abrasive and you know there’s a better way to have asked but it gets straight to the point.

John looks sick and a tight lipped smile pulls across his face as he tries to come up with an answer. “I…love I think you need to rest. There’s been a…”

“No. Answer the question.”

He glances down at your lips and that’s telling enough.

“Now isn’t the right time,” he whispers more to himself than to you. “You’ve just gone through…”

Cutting him off, you say firmly, “and that doesn’t mean I don’t know what I want.”

He can only stare at you with half lidded eyes and pray that he doesn’t break in front of you. His resolve is crumbling and it’s only thanks to his military service that he’s not throwing himself at you.

“I told him it’s over.”

John tries to interrupt you but you silence him with a pointed look. “I told him that I will always love him but that doesn’t mean I want to be with him anymore. I won’t wait around for him to figure his life out. I don’t deserve that. I deserve a man who knows what he wants and will communicate with me.”

Honestly it feels like his world is crumbling around him. You’re here snuggled into his chest and saying all these things which he knows what they mean but he can’t believe that you know what they mean. He can’t trust his own understanding of you and believe that you’d mean that.

“I need you to tell me what you want…now.”

You.

He wants you. More than anything in the world, John Price wants you and you’re asking him to confess that secret.

#simon riley x female reader #simon riley x you #simon ghost x reader #simon riley imagine #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley #cod x reader #call of duty imagine #ghost call of duty #call of duty #john price #john price x reader #John price imagine #captain price x reader #price x reader #price #captain price #cod price

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hungerofhadarr · 1 month

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Thought about it last night , but the scenes with the Winged Lion consuming desires .. the first time I saw a scene of it I had to put my phone down and just . Feel it . The visuals of it are so uncomfortable and yet it’ s … nothing at a glance is overly distressing . But it’ s that shattering trust , the end result of being groomed into the position of Dungeon Lord , the fact they’ ve always been losing themselves , with each small desire taken and consumed they forget what the point was . Cannot remember who , why , what , when … that destruction of self becoming so thorough that , by the time the final desire is consumed , they are nothing more But that final desire .

And the state they are left in … hollow , alive but not living , they have nothing to live for . No reason to Be , at all . It’ s the full destruction of a person outside of harming their body . And all of that , coupled with the scene of how the Winged Lion goes about it .. many comparisons can be made about the metaphorical of these events , and they’ ll all fit ..

Then flipping that , with how Laois consumes the Winged Lion’ s desire . Already pulled into doing what he didn’ t want to do ( oh it’ s your desire , of course you want to do it , while he’ s made it clear that he doesn’ t want Any of it . Even if it is his true desire ) and then the retaliation . It is more animal , more violent . Leaving a hole in the Lion’ s chest , he is not taking advantage . This is an act of violence and self preservation ! It is an act of survival ! This is his only chance out , and he fights like he knows he must . The art of Laois biting down on the Lion’ s neck , that full illustration ? I had to sit and stare at it ..

It really is fighting back , someone who Knew everything that would happen to them , if they did not strike back as fast as they could . Someone who knew what they had to do , someone who could risk their own self for the chance that they knew would come . There is little enjoyment , little leisure . It is all fighting

#dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #hey guys …#winged lion #laios touden #thistle dungeon meshi #mithrun

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circeyoru · 2 months

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hello, damn I fell in love with your yandere Alastor, it's too much jdkdkfkkd it's so sweet it kills me, I wanted to ask you how Alastor would react and his darling gave him his soul. I told myself I was going to stop reading so many Alastor fanfics but I can't with yours, they are very addictive.

To those that have no idea what this is talking about, check out {Unwanted Soul}

Thank you for your read and interest!! (can't believe someone says my stories are addictive, feel like I committed a crime)

OKay, back to business. Interesting ask. We never explored Alastor's side of the soul ownership huh. (since it's different from canon)

Basically, what's Alastor's response and reaction to Reader breaking the contract and returning Alastor's soul to him to own.

Alastor would see this as you not wanting him around. Full stop. Whatever your reason and currently established relationship (like how close you two are). He'd have a full breakdown and his confidence all gone. He gave you everything and treated you like an entity beyond. What did he do wrong? Tell him and he'll fix it!

By now, like after part 3. You have already mutually returned his feelings, but just not as strong as Alastor's. At least you're more lenient and accepting of his love and affections to you. He doesn't understand that you want him to hold his soul again without abandoning him. He knows you fear his power and Overlord status that can bring you to ruin, so giving you his soul was a way to show you he didn't care about these things that anchored his pride when compared to being by your side. To him, you accepting his soul was the same as you letting him stay by your side and accepting his twisted love for you. If you give back his soul to him, you're saying you don't want him and his presence around you.

He's not stupid, while he builds your reliance on him, he knows you could just as easily remove him from your afterlife. As such as he hates to admit it, you didn't need him as much as he needed you. (now isn't that odd?)

That's his feelings, now for his reaction and response.

While he wouldn't harm you, he'll frighten you to use the ownership power over him. Showing you that if you set him free from your hold, he can and will wreak havoc. Aren't you regretting the very thought of suggesting that? It's laughable, you want to free him. He'll show you, even when his powers are limited, he causes destruction to demons around him, think about what would happen if he's at full power.

Both of you are aware of this manipulation and you knew Alastor was using it to his advantage. Odd that the one that owns his soul is so powerless against his words and persuasions.

Oh, those don't work? Well. That's too bad. The hard way it is.

Alastor will lock you up somewhere. Keep you away from any paper-related objects. You're powerful, but you can't compete with him in combat. "You're sloppy, darling." He'd laugh when you tried to immobilize him with your summoned angelic weapons. They're deadly, but nothing if they don't land on their target. He'll push you into a corner so that you have to defend yourself till the point of exhaustion (like that time with Adam). Then he'll catch your tired and defenceless self in his arms lovingly. Once you're in your slumber mode, you're all his.

Charlie and the others are trying to find you? Even Lucifer? Well, he has his shadows and he will hide you from them. He's stronger now, before he played nice because you were there, but you're out of commission at the moment so he can let loose a bit. He would have pointed the finger at Charlie or even Lucifer and the others for your silly actions, that is, if you weren't always in your room with your entertainment. It took him years to get close to you, how can they do the same in such little time and you weren't caring for them as you did him. Even during you activities with the group, you weren't as involved and chose to stick close to him.

He'll nurse you back to health, but not fully that you can run away, he'll keep you at that borderline between energetic and exhausted. He gives you the same life you've lived with him during those 7 years, eveything's the same. Like the world only has you two in it. Back to the good old days.

Just don't worry about the times he's gone. He needs to ward off some pests around you. You don't care for them, yes? Alastor knows and understands. He'll take care of it as usual. You can ignore it all with your anime and comics, or take a nice long sleep to pass the time.

You let Alastor go? He's not letting you. Not on his soul.

Note: Hope this answers your question. I actually thought you were asking what if Reader gives Alastor their soul. Idk how I got that

Welcome other asks about my stories too!

Other Works: MASTERLIST

#Circe's Nighty Writings #alastor imagine #alastor x reader #alastor x y/n #alastor x you #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor headcanons #hazbin hotel fanfiction #alastor #hazbin hotel oneshots #yandere alastor #yandere alastor x reader #yandere hazbin hotel #alastor fanfiction #hazbin hotel imagines #Unwanted Soul

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krirebr · 6 months

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I Know I Should Know Better 3

Pairing: Curtis Everett x Female Reader, past Colin Shea x Female Reader

Word Count: ~4k

Summary: Curtis has been working as your body guard for almost two years now. Standing by and watching you work and party your life away is becoming more and more difficult, but is there anything he can do about it?

Warnings: Angst, adult themes, complicated power dynamics, minor age difference (not explicit in this part, but reader is mid-twenties and Curtis is early thirties), drinking & implied drug use, explicit language, bad boyfriend (Colin isn't even in this part and yet he's somehow even worse??), self-destructive behavior, anxiety, negative self-talk. Everyone's having a bad time, you guys. All of my work is 18+ - Minors DNI

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Part One Part Two Masterlist

A/N: Uh... It has to get worse before it can get better?? **runs and hides**

Any comment, reblog, or ask to let me know what you think will be greatly appreciated. Even if it's just screaming at me. 😄 As always, thank you so much for reading! 💜

The party was raging.

People filled your living room and kitchen. They were on your deck, in your pool. Curtis scanned the area, trying to figure out where you’d gotten off to. He didn’t like not having eyes on you.

He checked his watch. It was well past three. Christ. It’d started with you declaring the club you were at “fucking dead” a little before midnight. A small group had followed you home and then they’d called their friends who’d called their friends who’d called their friends.

People milled around him. Whispers of “Did you hear whose house this is?” “I haven’t seen her, yet. Have you?” “My cousin invited me. He knows her publicist’s assistant’s roommate.”

One woman stumbled over to him. “Hey!” she whisper-yelled. “How much for two?”

“What.” he growled.

“Two!” she repeated, shoving two fingers in his face. “How much?”

Just as Curtis was about to lose it completely, her friend crashed into her. “What are you doing?” The friend asked. She looked at how her companion was holding her bag, ready to remove the correct amount of cash, then up at Curtis and let out a wild cackle. “No!” she said. “That’s her bodyguard!”

“What?” The first woman asked. “You said the guy in all black in the corner.”

The friend’s laughter was nearly uncontrollable now. “Yeah, that corner!” She raised an arm and gestured to the other side of the house.

“Oh my god!” screeched the first woman and also into giggles, as they thankfully made their way somewhere fucking else.

Curtis pushed himself off the wall. He needed to find you.

You weren’t in the kitchen, or out by the pool. He’d already been in the living room. He finally found you on the stairs up to the bedrooms, slumped against the wall. He crouched in front of you and said your name a few times before finally getting your attention.

“Mmm, Curtis,” you said, your eyes half-closed. “I’m sleepy.”

He sighed. “Well, it’s almost four in the morning, so that makes sense.”

“I’m gonna go t’bed.” You grabbed the railing above your head and put all of your weight on it as you tried to lift yourself. You faltered and he reached out, a hand on your hip to steady you. “Oh boy,” you whispered as you tried again to right yourself. “Bedtime.”

Curtis said your name again, trying and failing to keep his frustration at bay. “Your house is still full of people.”

You were moving up the stairs now and waved dismissively to him behind you. “Get rid of ‘em. I’m done.”

That’s not my job was at the tip of his tongue, but arguing with you right now would be useless. So he followed you up the stairs to make sure you didn’t fall and excused himself once you were safely in your bedroom. In the hallway, he took a deep breath, trying to push down the anger and frustration he felt. It wasn’t his job. He shouldn’t have to do it. But he would.

Back downstairs, he went straight to your sound panel and cut the music to the whole house. “Alight!” he bellowed. “Party’s over. Get the fuck out!” He had no energy for niceties at this point.

As people, very slowly, started milling out of your house, there was a heavy and demanding banging at your door. He grumbled and made his way to the front, finding two cops standing there. Fucking shit.

Opening it, he plastered on what he hoped but doubted was a friendly smile. “Morning, officers. How can I help you?”

“Is the homeowner here?” one cop asked while the other craned his head around to try to get a look inside. It did not seem to be a professional curiosity. Goddamnit.

“The homeowner,” he said, trying to give away as little information as possible, “is asleep. But I work here. What can I do for you?”

The first cop straightened. “Well, sir, we’ve had several noise complaints from the neighbors tonight. Looks like you all had quite the party.”

He gave the slightest nod of acknowledgment. “But as you can see, everyone’s going home now.” Curtis moved over slightly to make sure his large frame filled the doorway. Who knew what was still going on behind him?

The officer watched the people stumbling out around him for a moment. “Well–”

“I’m sure,” Curtis interrupted, “that she’d be incredibly appreciative if you let her off with a warning. Just this once. And I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.” He hoped it was worth the slight acknowledgment of who you were to avoid making this an even bigger problem.

The cop looked around again and then nodded. “Since everything’s already breaking up here. And you promise you’ll make sure she’s more responsible next time?” He looked to Curtis who nodded, knowing it was a big, fat lie. “Alright, yeah, I think a warning’s all that’s needed here. You have a good rest of your night.”

Curtis’s sigh of relief was cut short by the other cop stepping forward. A closer look revealed how young he was, early 20s. “Hey,” he said, “could you tell her that I really loved her in Sweet Sixteen? I used to have that Teen Vogue cover up in my locker.” Curtis tried not to grimace as the young man fished a card out of his breast pocket and held it out to Curtis. “And maybe give this to her? I know she just broke up with that guy, but I gotta shoot my shot, right?” He was lucky that Curtis just silently took the card instead of commenting on the fucking audacity. It was too late/early to deal with any of this bullshit.

“Well,” he said, trying to prevent an awkward moment and get out of this while he was technically ahead, “really appreciate you both coming out here. Have a good night.” The instant the cops started turning around, Curtis closed the door. He immediately tore up the cop’s card and added it to the mess of the living room.

He spent the next hour or so going through the house, kicking out the stragglers and making sure nothing was irreparably damaged. By the time he was done, it was just about five o’clock. Christ. He stood by the door. He could leave. He should leave. He’d done more than enough. He clenched and unclenched his hands once, twice, three times. He turned around and went to your kitchen, filling a large glass of water. Then he got two aspirin from your medicine cabinet. He took it all into your bedroom and set it on your nightstand. He checked to make sure you were sleeping on your side, then pulled your trash can so it was right next to the bed. Ok, now he could go.

It was after six when he finally got home. He sent a text to Michelle as he got off his bike.

Hey, I’m just getting home now. Last night was bad. She threw a party, cops came. Just a warning for noise complaints, but I’m sure the whole thing will be on TMZ in a few hours. Going to bed. Don’t know when I’ll be in. Only call if you absolutely need me.

He looked at it for a moment, then added

There needs to be a conversation about what my job actually entails

He knew Michelle wasn’t the right person to send that last bit to. She wasn’t his boss. But he was exhausted and he needed someone to know that he was at the end of his rope.

You were going through a hard time, he knew that. You’d ended your relationship with Colin in spectacular fashion, posting a picture to your Instagram stories of the flowers he’d sent the day after your fight on the deck lying in your trashcan, his apology note fluttering above them with the text “No thanks @ColinSheaOfficial.” It hadn’t been your most thought-through decision. Tanya had freaked out and it was deleted 15 minutes later, but it was too late. The post had immediately gone viral. Colin hadn’t been happy and had spent the last month telling anyone who would listen (bro-y podcasts, mostly) how awful it’d been to date you – you were unstable, too needy, a cold fish in bed. That had gone viral too. If Curtis thought he’d get away with it, he’d have driven out to Colin’s house and taken care of the asshole, himself. But his connection to you was too documented.

You weren’t handling it well. Of course, you weren’t. But Curtis felt like, while everyone else was doing damage control on how it was affecting your career, he was the one left to pick up the pieces of you as a person. If things had been too much for him before, they were becoming near impossible to deal with now.

It didn’t help matters that after your night on the couch together, you’d started to put some distance between the two of you. He understood. It was the right thing to do. This was his job. You weren’t friends, he was your employee. (Sort of. In a roundabout way. Technically, he worked for your manager. But still.) He couldn’t be your friend and do his job to the best of his ability. Trying to do both compromised your safety. He’d been ignoring that truth for too long. It had been inappropriate for him to stay that night when you’d asked him to. He shouldn’t have done it, no matter how often he’d thought about it after – the way you’d looked fresh out of the shower, how his fingertips had brushed against yours, your thigh resting against–

So the distance was needed. But it meant that all he was able to do was trail after you as you self-combusted with a determination he wasn’t sure he’d ever seen before. And it couldn’t be his job to hold you together. It was taking a toll. Something had to give.

He entered his house through the back, straight into his kitchen. He stopped in the doorway, surprised to see Edgar sitting at the island in his pajamas, eating cereal. “You’re up early.”

Edgar shrugged. “Didn’t hear you come in last night.”

“Yeah,” Curtis said, bending over to take off his boots. “Had to work really late.”

Edgar just nodded and took a bite of cereal. Curtis finished with his boots and took off his leather jacket, hanging it by the door. He was about to excuse himself to his room when Edgar spoke again.

“I have an interview lined up for this week.”

“Yeah?” Curtis grinned. “That’s great!”

“Mhmm,” Edgar hummed, looking into his cereal bowl as he continued. “If it works out, I probably won’t be able to afford my own place right away, but I swear, I’ll save up and get out of your hair as soon as I can–”

“Hey, no,” Curtis interrupted. “I told you, that room is yours for however long you want it. No strings attached.” Curtis had known Edgar since the kid had been in diapers, ending up in the same foster home right before Curtis had turned eighteen. He’d been the only one who’d been able to calm the kid down when he’d had a tantrum. After he’d aged out, he’d done his best to keep in touch with Edgar and now that Edgar had aged out of the system himself, Curtis was determined to do whatever he could to help him. Especially if that meant he could prevent Edgar from making the same desperate choices he had. He didn’t regret joining the army, per se, (he was mostly ambivalent at best about his experiences there, but it had opened up opportunities after he was discharged) but it had felt like it was the only choice for him at the time, and he didn’t want that for Edgar. So if having a place to stay that he didn’t have to pay for would help, then that’s what Curtis would give him. “Listen, I want to hear all about this interview, but I’m fucking exhausted right now. I need to crash. We’ll talk later, ok?”

Edgar nodded but furrowed his brow. “Everything alright?”

Curtis nodded and tried to smile at him. “Just a long fucking day. I’ll see you later.”

When he finally got to his room, he let out a sigh of relief as he collapsed onto his bed. His phone buzzed in his pocket. He took it out to find a response from Michelle.

I’m going to have to tell Tanya. Fucking fuck fuck!

Curtis tossed the phone onto the other side of the bed. Yeah. Fucking fuck fuck sounded about right.

When he woke up late that afternoon, he had another message from Michelle.

She’s so fucking hungover. You don’t need to come in. She isn’t going anywhere. See you tomorrow.

So he ordered pizza with Edgar and they watched TV until Edgar fell asleep on the couch. It was a good night.

The next day he got to your house just before noon. On days when nothing was scheduled, you never started early. He stopped short when he saw two cars he recognized in your driveway.

Michelle was sitting at your kitchen island, staring at her laptop, one hand scrolling down the trackpad, the other nervously tapping the counter.

Curtis helped himself to an organic juice from your fridge as he greeted her and asked, “Wilford and Tanya are here?”

“Mhmm,” she said, not looking up.

“House call’s not a good sign.”

“Nope.” She looked up at him, more haggard-looking than he was used to. “You still pissed?”

He sighed. “Not pissed. Tired. Frustrated.” He paused to take a sip of juice. “Worried.”

“She’s fine,” Michelle said, “she just needs to reprioritize.”

“That what this house call’s about?” he asked.

She grimaced. “She lost that big ensemble movie. The director cited his ‘no assholes’ policy.”

“She isn’t an asshole.”

“No,” Michelle agreed, “but she’s getting a reputation as one. High maintenance.”

He glanced out the doors to your patio, where he could just see the edge of you. “So it’s a Come to Jesus talk.”

“Mhmm.”

“I don’t suppose they’re going to do anything to actually help her?”

“They’ll get her career back on track if she listens.”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it,” Curtis scowled.

“Listen,” she said, pushing her computer away and giving him her full attention, “my job is the same as yours – get her where she needs to go, on time and in one piece.”

“Yeah?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “And how do you think we’re doing on that ‘in one piece’ part?”

“She’s blowing off steam, that’s all.”

He snorted. “Sure, if you say so. But you’re never around for that part, are you?”

“Curtis–”

He shook his head, “I need to talk to her when they’re done,” then went to wait in the living room.

Wilford and Tanya left about half an hour later. Curtis watched them go, arms crossed over his chest. Wilford, especially, he did not like. They’d only been in the same room a handful of times, but Curtis would swear he could see the dollar signs in Wilford’s eyes every time he looked at you. If Curtis had his way, that man wouldn’t be able to get anywhere near you.

But that was part of the problem, this protective streak Curtis had for you. It wasn’t serving him. And it obviously wasn’t serving you either. It wasn’t helping anything. Protection was the job but from the outside world. Not from your own team. Not from yourself. He needed to get his act together. Set some boundaries. And that’s what he was going to do.

He let himself out onto your deck, expecting to find you lounging by the pool, in a swimsuit probably, maybe a drink in your hand. Instead, you were sitting at your outdoor dining table, knees pulled up to your chest, staring off into nothing, wearing leggings and an oversized sweatshirt. You looked awful, hair sloppily pulled together on top of your head, red-rimmed eyes, a blank expression on your face. He stopped short. Maybe this wasn’t the right time to do this. But he knew that if he waited it wouldn’t happen. And maybe this was the right time, maybe he’d actually be able to have a conversation about everything with you.

He softly called your name and when you looked over at him he added, “We need to talk about the other night.”

“Oh, great,” you said, tone flat. “You here to yell at me too? Fun.”

“I don’t want to yell,” he said, sitting down across from you. He didn’t want to hover over you. “Just talk.”

You sighed impatiently. “Well, go on. Let’s get this over with. How have I disappointed you today?”

He said your name again, as gently as he could, but your reaction was the opposite of what he wanted. You looked down, shoulders coming up to your ears. Regardless of your size, you looked so small. The smallest he’d ever seen you. But he had to do this. So he plowed ahead.

“What happened the other night, at your party, that can’t happen again. I can’t be responsible for what happens in your house when you aren’t there. I have a very specific job. You don’t get to just use me however you see fit. I’m not here to clean up after you. Kicking people out of your house, dealing with the cops–” He shook his head. “I’m not your bouncer or your babysitter.”

He saw you flinch at his last word, but you came back with a glower. “Is that all?” you asked.

“No,” he shook his head. “I’m also not going to be working any more 16-hour days. That isn’t fair to me.”

“Are you going to quit?” you asked, voice somewhere between angry and pleading.

“I don’t want to,” he said, keeping his voice firm, “but I’m serious that what happened was unacceptable.”

You swallowed visibly and nodded. He waited for you to say something, but when you didn’t, he asked, “Are you ok?”

Your head shot up. “What?”

There was something in your eyes that told him to proceed with caution, but he still repeated his question. “Are you alright?”

You looked at him carefully for a moment, then "Are you my friend?"

Now it was his turn to ask "What?"

"You said you aren't my bouncer or my babysitter," you said with a challenge in your eyes. "So what are you? Are you my friend?"

He had to look away, understanding now what you were doing. "No," he said quietly, "I'm not your friend. I'm just your bodyguard."

He hadn’t looked up yet, unable to tear his focus from his hands in his lap, but he could feel you nodding in his periphery. “Right,” you said, voice low. “Then whether or not I’m okay doesn’t really matter to you, does it?”

Shit. He had fucked this up so completely and so quickly that he wasn’t sure exactly where it had gone wrong. He looked up to find you twisted around to stare over your pool, your knees still tight to your chest, your hand visibly gripping your chair for dear life. He breathed out your name, but you just shook your head.

“No, I get it,” you said. “You’re here to do a job. Because I pay you to do it. I understand. Consider me put in my place.” Your hand not holding the chair swiped furiously at your face, wiping away a few stray tears that fell down your cheek. You took a deep breath. “I’d like you to go away now.”

He stood up, wanting to give you what you asked, but he just couldn’t seem to pull himself away from you. He wanted to reach out to you, touch you, give you some sort of comfort, but what fucking right did he have to do that?

“Curtis, please,” your broken whisper was what it finally took to get him to move. He paused at the glass door back into the house. He wanted to say something, but he had no idea what. So finally, he ducked his head and went back into the house.

He tried to pass through as quickly as he could, but when he walked by Michelle, she started, “Hey, how’d it g–”

“I need a fucking minute,” he growled out.

He slammed out the front door of your house and began to pace behind your privacy fence. What the fuck had happened? It wasn’t supposed to go like that. He should’ve been able to set professional boundaries without feeling like he was tearing his own heart out. He’d done it before, countless jobs and assignments, where he’d drawn lines and it’d been expected and appreciated. It’d never hurt like this. No job he’d had had ever been this messy, this difficult, this all-consuming.

That was the problem, wasn’t it? His mind was always here, always on the job. He thought about you all the time. He worried about you constantly. You were always on his mind. My god, if he didn’t know any better, he’d say–

He froze next to your gate. No. No no no no no. Absolutely not. He could not. That– That was not possible. He started to walk again. Now that he’d let it in, this goddamn intrusive thought just got bigger and bigger as he paced around until he couldn’t ignore it anymore.

He was in love with you.

What a fucking disaster. He almost laughed. And he’d worried he couldn’t properly protect you when he thought you might be friends. He was completely fucking compromised now. He should quit. He needed to quit. He should quit. He should quit. He should quit.

But the idea of leaving you hurt even worse than he already did. You weren’t ok. It was obvious. And even though he had no idea how to help you, he couldn’t abandon you. He wouldn’t do that. Not ever. Not until you asked him to leave. Which you eventually would. Of course, you would. What could he possibly offer you when you already had all this? But he would stay until that moment. As pathetic as it was, he didn’t think he could do anything else.

The gate opened and he had to scramble to get out of the way of the car that drove in. It stopped on the driveway next to him and the driver’s side window rolled down. Jensen leaned out. “Hey man, you okay?”

Curtis just stared at him for a moment before he got his bearings. “I’m fine.”

Jensen looked at him skeptically. “You sure?”

“I’m fine, Jake!” he gritted out. Without giving Jensen time to respond, he continued, “I’ll meet you inside. I want to go over the exit plan for her appearance tomorrow.”

“Again?” Jensen asked.

“Yes, again. We need to be prepared.”

Jensen gave him a look and sat back. “Yeah, sure whatever you say,” then finally began driving to the back of the house.

Curtis put his head in his hands. He felt so fucking transparent. Everyone must know. Looking back, it felt so incredibly obvious. But no one had said anything. You certainly hadn’t, so he was hopefully safe there.

He took a deep breath. This was fine. He’d tamp it down. He’d ignore it. He’d do his fucking job. He began walking up the path back to your front door. He’d be there when you needed him and that would be enough.

It’d be enough.

Taglist is open

@stargazingfangirl18 @drabblewithfrannybarnes @thezombieprostitute @before-we-get-started

#curtis everett x reader #curtis everett x female reader #curtis everett #curtis everett x you #bodyguard!curtis everett x actress!reader #bodyguard!curtis #bodyguard!curtis everett #snowpiercer #fanfic #ce characters #chris evans fanfiction #reader insert #bodyguard au #i know i should know better #kris wrote something

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the-s1lly-corner · 4 months

Text

Waking them up w/ a morning kiss! (TADC edition)

slowly but surely i am approaching the end of my tycoon... and yet despite the exhaustion creeping and making a home in my bones, i do not feel the desire to go to bed. perhaps its self destruction or carelessness, i'll be damned that this is the most productive ive been writing wise in a hot minute anyways requests are open

CAINE:

well this is assuming he sleeps... which personally, while i think the others CAN sleep (although they dont need to), i dont think.. caine can.. i think when he falls asleep its akin to how computers to. but one little tap is enough to snap him right back... so you may get startled when he snaps his jaws open the second your lips make contact with his teeth... but dont be alarmed...! hes not upset.. actually i think if anything he might be a little shocked at the gesture... oh he should have done it to you, damn it! definitely going to try to one up you that day, no one gets the jump on # 1 reader simp, Caine!!! 8/10 hes still very giddy and happy about it and hes in a good mood for the entire day

POMNI:

i think she might be a little too groggy to realize youve kissed her, but will flutter her eyes open if you give her another kiss. gets really red in the face before pushing herself deeper under the covers... i think shes generally like that with random gestures of affection and love, so please dont take this as her not enjoying the act! i promise she does like it, its just between this being standard reaction for her and just waking up shes a little... more bashful than she normally would be.. i think she would try to do the same to you the following day.. or maybe do a surprise gesture for you in return to even out the score! 7/10 very cute

RAGATHA:

as time passes i find myself making ragatha more and more of a sap, and honestly i dont hate the direction im going in. i think if you woke her up with a kiss, she would be smiling throughout the day and like caine, be in a more upbeat mood! its such a small thing to wake up to, but it means the world to her, you know? know these are starting to sound samesy with the 'returning the favor' thing but i think ragatha would at least double what you did for her.. you better incorporate the morning kisses into your routine because small stuff like that goes a long way for ragatha! 8/10

JAX:

i think he might just look at you before flipping over to face the other way and try to go back to sleep. its not totally to be mean to you and him being 'eeeewww affection' but mostly because hes not really.... a morning person. he never will be. kiss him all you want, hes not going to wake up... if he doesnt turn over, hes probably going to tug you to his chest and hold you still. probably grumbles at you to stop because he wants to sleep in that morning... but hey, look at it this way, you got some cuddling now! so hey at least theres some side of trade 5/10

KINGER:

i think he might nuzzle into your cheek and try to give you a 'kiss' back when he realizes what youre doing. pulls you to his chest, but he has full intent (unlike jax who mostly just wanted to keep you put and to make you stop moving around)... he may not have arms, but hes going to try his damndest to use his hands to keep you close... tries to push off the beginning of the day for a while longer... despite kinger actually being a morning person. leads to the two of you having a mumbled conversation about your dreams... very nice very sweet 8/10

ZOOBLE:

oh zooble is very much NOT a morning person, but i dont think they would be as mean as jax... they might mumble and tell you to hold back, but once theyre fully awake theyre going to set down some boundaries and apologize if they had upset you. they just dont like being woken up, no matter how sweetly... unless theres an emergency, they dont want to be woken up... though even then they might still be a little irritated... i think in this case swapping out morning kisses for something else that works better for both of you is the best course of action here 6/10

GANGLE:

i think she would lean right into it... maybe she wraps herself around you, if she hadnt already done that in her sleep... her mask is a little cold, so it might shock you a little and wake you up a lot more than you were expecting... oh i think gangle would feel bad about that... she didnt mean to make you uncomfortable (even though ultimately, youre not)...i think throughout the day she might be more happy and bubbly, perhaps even putting herself out more than she normally would. definitely a confidence boost for her! she even doesnt seem as sad or upset when her comedy mask breaks... i mean shes still... upset.. but not as much as she normally would be 7/10 very cute

#tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #digital circus x reader #caine x reader #caine x you #pomni x reader #pomni x you #ragatha x reader #ragatha x you #jax x reader #jax x you #kinger x reader #kinger x you #zooble x reader #zooble x you #gangle x reader #gangle x you

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virgilisspidey · 1 year

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My favorite thing to write when it comes to the 2012 boys is writing when they snap.

You'd expect Mikey to scream and shout, no, my boy is emotionally intelligent, he's more prone to being angry and calm. You have no idea how scary it is to be able to do that. And already did it plenty of times before.

"THIS IS FOR MY BROTHER" he says as he throws a couch at Rahzar.

He's thinking clearly enough to throw a literal couch, that is scary.

What's more scary as well is that while he's calm and mad he's the type that has tears flowing through his eyes because he's also the type of person to cry while mad.

And it doesn't make him look weak it makes him even more fucking terrifying.

And he has a patient of a saint when it comes to anger, vro.

I can compare him to a ranging storm.

Raph snapping removes any and all restrictions he has. He would attack like a wild animal, anything and everything around him would get destroyed. He's easily angered out of all of them but when he truly snaps his morals are thrown out the window, which is, by the way, the only other reason he hasn't killed a man yet.

And after that, like fire, his fuel runs out and he will be hit with intense guilt, no matter what. He would just, collapse. He gone. He just staring at a wall.

And we already saw that happen with the ending of season 2, my mans was so mad he was about to attack the closest person, whicj was Mikey, who luckily calmed him down enough.

He shuts down and focused on caring for Leo because he couldn't do that when he saw their father essentially get flushed down the drain.

The way he snaps is like striking a match and watching it die out.

He's explosive and self destructive.

When Donnie does it, it's a whole different ball game. Sure he's prone to bursts of anger when people get to his nerves, but when he snaps, he gets tunnel vision. His anger isn't exactly explosive like Raph or a storm like Mikey's.

He has plans.

Unlike Raph who gets so mad he loses morality, my boy says "fuck morality we ball" and is very ready to murder someone because they threatened to dissect him.

As if he didn't already gets threatened to be turned into turtle sashimi by, i dont know, Xever.

My mans zeroed in on what Don Vizioso wanted to do with him. I think he snapped at that time and wanted revenge because he's helpless when it happened. He didn't want to feel that way again.

He makes meticulous plans, i mean, he made that flowchart of plans with April, he must've thought of the routes and possibilities already.

He's smart when he snaps and it clouds his judgement because he gets too emotional (something i really appreciate with how he was characterized since often times, smart characters are boiled down to being "logical" and "cold")

Anger and a 50 step plan to murder a man is a bad combination but he makes it work.

If Leo didn't stop him, well... There's one less crime lord to worry about.

Speaking of Leo.

Oh this is what I love the most.

I feel like he would be dead silent when he snaps.

Just nothing. Not even a scream of anger. He's so full of negative emotions that it registers as nothing.

If Mikey's was scary, he's scarier. Because at least Mikey shows emotions even if he's calm. He wants you to know he's mad, but Leo?

It takes a lot to make him snap and something inside him just cracks. Fuck emotions, fuck thinking, all that is in his brain right now is cold rage. For the demon skayer fans out there, imagine Tanjiro's fight with Daki, imagine that were Leo instead. He's so mad my boi isn't breathing. He's deadset on turning you into a news paper headline.

Donnie, Mikey and Raph can be calmed.

Not Leo.

Nothing is gonna stop Leo but himself.

Of course that's just my personal interpretation of the characters. I don't even know if this is accurate or whatnot. I just really love these boys.

#tmnt 2012 #teenage mutant ninja turtles 2012 #tmnt 2012 headcanons #nari talks #ramblings of a very insane person

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thelaughtercafe · 2 months

Text

Heat*

Tea Type: Milk Tea

Potential Triggers: Full nsft in this one! This is honestly just nsft with the barest bit of plot

Pairing: Edward Elric/F!Reader

Length: 1.3k+

Summary: After a heated argument, and an emotional confession, things get passionate in a much more fun way.

“I cannot believe how reckless you are! You could’ve been killed!”

You straightened at the yell, glaring right back at Ed as you crossed your arms, lips pressed in a thin line as he continued scolding you unabated.

“You’ve no place on the battlefield! You have no way to protect yourself; if I hadn’t shown up when I did-”

“Oh but it’s okay when you put yourself at risk every day?”

You angrily rubbed at the tears forming, trying to stay strong.

“I’m sorry I did something stupid and that I scared you but goddamnit at least you know how I feel every time you go charging into battle after battle! I know you’re grateful to Roy for all he did for you and Al but there are other ways to repay him! Every time you sneak out in the morning without saying goodbye and think I don’t hear you when for all I know; it might be the last time I see your stupid face!”

You were openly sniffling now and looked away in embarrassment and annoyance.

Ed was uncharacteristically silent and you suddenly stiffened as his gloved fingers brushed away the last of your tears and he cradled your face, making you look at him. His eyes were still frustrated, but there was something warm just behind them too. Still, his next words made you scowl, however soft they were.

“Promise me you’ll never do something that reckless again.”

“Can you honestly promise me the same?”

He looked down in shame a brief moment before he smiled sadly and shook his head, meeting your gaze again.

“…You know I can’t.”

Your anger was back full force and his hands on you were admittedly making you woozy so you stepped back, out of his intoxicating grip, hating how even that simple touch left you breathless.

Despite the pain that twisted your heart, you knew he was right. You smirked weakly and gave a sarcastic huff of laughter under your breath as you made your way to the door, half mumbling to yourself more than him in your anguish.

“Ha. Leave it to me to fall in love with the most self destructive brat I’ve ever met who doesn’t even drink his stupid milk-”

You flinched as just as you turned the doorknob and went to open it further a hand jerked forward and closed it again, grabbing your wrist with the other hand and flipping you to glare passionately into your gaze.

Your eyes still were teary and his own burned with the weight of his grief and all he had to do but your lips met and abruptly it was as if an inferno was birthed where an unlit match soaked in gasoline had once been.

And oh, did that inferno rage.

Once you began you couldn’t stop.

The kiss you’d craved for so long was insatiable. You couldn’t get enough. The momentary breaks for air felt inconsequential. You didn’t need air, didn’t need anything but the intoxicating, bruising kisses he delivered again and again before his lips abruptly moved to your neck and you moaned, tangling your fingers in his dirty blond locks.

It didn’t take you both long to stumble towards the bed, losing clothes along the way with grumbles and curses and giddy laughter.

It was like your relationship; rough at a first glance but sweet at its core.

A smirk adorned his lips , something primal awakening in him that took you by surprise as he pinned you down with your hand on either side of your face.

“Sure you can handle me sweetheart?”

At your dazed nod he chuckled huskily, head already ducking to heatedly meet your lips again.

“Heh. Who knew all I had to do to shut you up was make you stupid from pleasure.”

Your eyes lit at that and you playfully bit his lip, making him pull back with a hiss.

“Fucking brat.”

Ed didn’t curse often, but suddenly you were glad for it. It had way too much of an effect on you for it to be permitted anywhere but the bedroom. Just for your own sanity.

Despite his rough words and demeanor his hands were feather light as they trailed along your nude body, and you his.

“Maybe later I’ll put that eager mouth of yours to good use, but for now I think I want to make you cum for me.”

His eyes softened a tad and searched yours for any hesitancy.

“…You’re positive you’re ready?”

You softened in reaction and nodded.

“I…I wouldn’t want it to be with anyone but you. It’s always been you, all these years.”

The sweet confession that fell from your lips like honey was enough to make Ed hiss again, rushing to discard his gloves and reveal the warm skin underneath. There was a vulnerability to him showing his bare hands given all he’d done to get them. It was a sign of trust and though you’d seen them before it felt all the more intimate now.

His fingers found your clit quickly once he slid down the bed to make himself comfortable between your spread legs and you found yourself too embarrassed to look. Luckily you didn’t have to for long as you threw your head back in pleasure and moaned.

He was entirely focused on your pleasure, one hand rubbing at your clit and building you up and the other entering you one finger at a time and working to loosen your entrance.

“You have…no right to be so good at this.”

You whimpered out between pants as your fingers clenched the sheets and you arched.

Edward smirked at that and cooed, sweetly.

“Oh? Don’t tell me you’re close already?”

“What can I say? I’ve f-fantasized about you taking me more times than I can count and it’s even better.”

Your words fed his ego and only encouraged him to hasten his pace, finally making you come undone as you moaned and shook as you released all over his fingers.

“That’s a good girl.”

His sweet praise made you melt as you came down and you finally looked to where he was slipping a condom over his cock. He was a bit bigger than what you assumed was the average, nothing crazy but now that you were prepared you couldn’t help clenching at the thought of how good he’d feel inside you.

Ed couldn’t help himself and moaned at the sight.

“Eager aren’t you?”

You laughed breathlessly as he lined himself up, a playful spark in your eyes.

“Says the man hard as diamonds before even being inside~”

He chuckled and then slowly pushed in, going slow and watching you observantly for any signs of pain. When you showed none and he was in to the hilt he quirked an eyebrow.

“Got another one in you, do you think?”

You nodded, head admittedly feeling hazy from pleasure.

“As many as you can wring from me.”

He inhaled sharply at that and began thrusting, holding your hips steady as he did so and pressing hot, wet kisses wherever his lips could reach.

“Don’t give me any ideas, princess.”

It wasn’t long until you both were close- he just felt so damn snug in the best way possible and your constant clenching and sexy moans had his eyes fluttering. He hugged you close as you both came one after the other. You laid still a moment, both recovering and then he gently pulled out.

You both cleaned up and at the end of it all you were content in his arms as he held you to his chest.

“I know…you get scared when I fight. But if I don’t use my strength for the little guy who will? All I can promise is that I will always return home to you at night.”

You turned in his grip to look up at him.

“You promise?”

He nodded, serious as you’d ever seen him.

“I do.”

“Fine. I love you.”

You sealed it with a kiss and dozed off in one another’s arms.

#tlc: nsft #tlc: milk tea #edward elric x reader #edward elric x you #female reader #fullmetal alchemist x reader #fullmetal alchemist x you #tlc: fic #fullmetal alchemist #fmab #fma brotherhood #tw nsft

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themostefficientwaywithwater · 2 years

Text

I've seen a lot of people are as excited as me for a Zelda game that focus on how Ganon's constant reincarnations affects negatively to Zelda, Link and even Ganondorf. We've already seen this theme subtly in BotW (Zelda chastised for not awakening her power, Link unable to speak and enjoy himself because of how the Hero's title burdens him). However, I normally wouldn't expect "the harm the vicious cycle of reincarnation makes on it's unwitting pawns" to be the theme of a Zelda game. After all, it's Nintendo, and we know they don't like to stray so far from the "evil is bad and we must defeat it" plotline and they wouldn't dare to criticize the goddesses' plans...

Oh, wait, they already did it.

The Wind Waker is about letting go of the past and how being unable to move on will harm you and future generations. Daphnes and Ganondorf can't let go of their kingdom, and they die with it because they can't imagine themselves living without it. It harms Medli and Makar, who are taken away from their home and family and are confined into the heart of a dungeon so the Master Sword can maintain it's full power. It harms Tetra, too, who sees her whole individuality taken away in favor of performing her role as "Princess Zelda". And it harms Link, who is treated as a pawn by Daphness to do the work of the Hero of Legend, despite literally being Just A Kid (TM) who just wanted to rescue his sister.

But, despite everything, they manage to break the cycle, as Ganondorf no longer appears in other titles situated in the Adult Timeline (neither do Hyrule, or the Triforce or the Master Sword, or most classical elements of TLOZ). By killing Ganondorf, Demise's hatred could no longer persist in the world, thus breaking the eternal cycle of death and reincarnation. But how could that happen? Sure stabbing a whole man in the head usually turns to be fatal, but that's been done before and they only managed to seal him away. Why did this time work?

I think he just gave up.

He realised he would never get Hyrule, that even when everything was at his favor (the Hero gone, the Princess at his power, the Master Sword was weakened, he even managed to get the Triforce of Courage from Link!) he still lost. He gave one last fight, but he didn't even transform to Ganon (it's only appearance is as a puppet, another symbol if he being treated as a pawn by a higher power) and after Link delivers the final blow, he accepts his fate and passes away.

Even though he's been treated as the major villain in the series, he's been as much as a pawn from the gods as the multiple Heroes and Princesses from the series. He may not have been the best man before OoT, but he was a victim of his circunstances and his initial motives where to grant his people a home where they could live in peace instead of fearing death day and night, turning into thieves just to survive. But he was corromped by anger, by revenge, by malice, and he turned the perfect vessel for Demise's curse. I think that BotW's Ganon was the same but it's been so many centuries that the man he once was can not be recognised, he's more of a beast now. But I still have hope, and now that his "mummy" has awakened, maybe we could get a more humanized version of Ganondorf instead of a simple "demon of malice". The old leader of a desert tribe who just wanted to give a better life to his people, and went too far.

I find this to be very unlikely, but not impossible. While WW's Ganondorf had it easier, as he was more collected and thoughtful, there's still the possibility that Ganondorf "awakes" from its Ganon-self and shows a bit more of characterization and his motives. Who knows, we could even break the cycle in BotW-TotK's timeline if Ganondorf refuses to continue this endless cicle of destruction and give up on Hyrule's conquest (a little more optimistic that being stabbed on the head, please and with sugar on top). But we may have to pay a big price to make it. After all, the cycle was broken in WW, but a great sacrifice was necessary...

Hyrule's destruction

#legend of zelda #tears of the kingdom #wind waker #this is a mess and you're right for calling me out of this #i'm very tired ok but i can't stop rotating this like some rottiserie chicken #anyways nintendo please do something with ganondorf #acknowledge he's as much of a pawn as link and zelda #don't give us another mindless monster or evil overlord #lets put an end on this endless cycle #also i know the last bit of the post is batshit crazy #it's based on that ''tears'' could refer both as teardrops and rifts #like the whole kingdom is being teared apart #idk have this #play wind waker #let go on the past and look toward the future #drink some water #bye #also excuse my language my english is poor when i'm on no sleep #which is always

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ashleyh713fanfics · 2 months

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Dazai X Odasaku!Sister Ch6 and Ch7

Double Post:

Chapter 6: "Why Don't We Go On A Date?"

Chapter 7: "As Long As I Have You In My Life"

Summary: After Dazai's horrifying discovery that he is Odasaku's sister's "lifeline" and "only tie to her brother" the boy tries to give her something more permanent than a sad suicidal mistake like him.

Warning: pm! fifteen year old dazai, Dazai self destructing Odasaku death mentions, mention of torture/cruel training, manipulative behavior from both sides, underage drinking, talks of suicide. I gave Oda's sister a name but you can imagine it as y/n.

(This is chapter six and seven of my fanfic "Timeless" which is now on A03. It carries on from the three part intro I posted a couple days ago. I'll link it below to fully understand the story. Asagao's ability is to stop time for up to six seconds.)

Three Part Intro Here: (just cause the first chapter is so long)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

A03 Version Here:

Word count: 10k total

Chapter 6:

Osamu..I think you’re a good man.

Six little words, six little words brought his entire world to a stand still.

The foolishness of them danced across Dazai’s brain over and over again trying to decipher anything and everything about them only to come up empty. He couldn’t comprehend them, he couldn’t form them into reality no matter how hard he tried.

So much so, that time passed by in a millisecond, Dazai staring at absolutely nothing, not present in the world at all.

The bustling laughter of children as they made their way to school, the soft music from the speakers of the nearby shops, the feeling of a soft breeze across his features, none of them registered inside his brain.

The only thing that did was the weight on his back, both emotional and physical as Asagao’s form slept motionless, unaware of the malfunction she had ushered by saying those six stupid, foolish and dangerous words.

Just then, his phone started to sound inside his pocket only for the executive to finally look down and pull the object out, the move causing Asagao’s lips to let out a disgruntled groan in the process in order to shift the back of her head further across his shoulder.

Answering the call, Dazai then heard a very familiar voice, pissed off per usual. “Hey Dazai! Where the hell are you!? I’ve been waiting for you to start this raid for three hours! You better get your sorry ass over here right now before I kick ya into next week, you hear me?!”

At that, the boy’s eyes couldn’t help but flash with realization. Oh yeah, that’s right. Chuuya and him were supposed to raid a rival organization's hideout today.

You see, the thing was, that whole little plan had slipped his mind because it was so utterly unimportant to him in every possible way.

So much so, the bandaged menace lifted an eye in amusement. “Oh yeah, I decided I’m not coming! I got more important things to do. So do your best in my place, kay?”

Lifting the phone away from his ear, he then waited as Chuuya’s voice shouted straight through the speaker, peaking the audio from how close he was to the device. “Ha?! You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me! You can’t just ditch!! What the hell do you gotta do instead?!”

Dazai then put a finger up to his lips before humming back teasingly. “So nosey Chuuuya, are you jealous?”

Almost immediately, the hot headed boy replied, disgusted by the notion. “Why the fuck would I be..!

Yet that’s when the mafioso smirked before reaching forward in order to wrap his fingers around one of Asa’s crimson strains of hair hanging by her back in order to speak suggestively. “If you must know, I’m spending my day with a beautiful woman. So now you see why I can’t be there for your little raid. I’m already gonna have my hands full with something else.”

The way he spoke those words, it was like he was implying something. Like he had just found another whore to sleep with and break for his own pleasure. And although that wasn't the case this time, Dazai knew that Chuuya would make the incorrect connection for him.

And a moment later, the idiot man did just that. “You sick bastard! I swear to god I’m gonna..”

Dazai only cut him off though, satisfied with the rage he had incurred before cheerfully replying back in a devious tone. “Oops! Seems like there's a bad connection. Gotta go, Chuuya! Now go be the good dog you are and capture that organization for me! Kay, byeee!”

Then before he could interject, the brown haired mafioso quickly hung up the phone before throwing it into the grass with a large sadistic smile.

Ah, that was better. Nothing like Chuuya’s idiot thinking to snap him back to reality.

Glancing back towards the sleeping Asagao, Dazai then lifted his hands up in order to physically push her head off of his shoulder only for the girl to groan in irritation, still not awake yet.

Dazai then turned his body only for Asa’s head to fall onto his lap instead, the sudden warmth causing her to snuggle deeper only for the boy to tense at the sudden contact. Did this girl have no shame? She was just cuddling up with a murderer like nothing.

Forcing himself to relax at the contact, the man then looked at her in exasperation. Damn, this girl slept like a rock. He supposed he’d have to try something else.

Lifting his hands up, he then slipped his fingers around the large circular frames of her glasses in order to pull them off slowly with hum. “Time to wake up, sleeping beauty. Being so defenseless around a man like me, it’s not a wise decision.”

She didn’t respond though, causing the boy to then narrow his expression before pressing his forefinger straight in the middle of her forehead roughly and poke the surface only for her to finally flop her eyes open with a whine. “Samu..”

What was going on? She was so warm, so comfortable.

Hold on, why was Osamu in her dreams?

Just then, Asa then seemed to register the situation before she blinked in realization in order to propel her head off of his lap and gasp. “Osu?!”

Laughing at her confused state, Dazai then turned his head towards the fumbling girl. “Good afternoon, sweetheart. Glad you could join us today.”

Asagao was still groggy though, the events of last night not fully registering as she placed a hand to her head. “W-What? What happened? Why was I…”

Yet Dazai was happy to cut her off, his voice coming out pained and over dramatic as he held his back with a fake little pout. “You fell asleep on me and now my back really hurts. You’re so mean, Asa-channn making me stay here like this. Owwie..It was so uncomfortable!”

It wasn’t really, but the boy wasn’t about to tell her the real reason why he had stayed complacent the whole time. He didn’t want her to know that he had malfunctioned beyond basic human understanding.

That just the mere belief in him had caused the boy to unravel.

Asa only turned her head though, not really buying his “poor me” act in the slightest. “But you stayed here this whole time? Why didn’t you wake me up?”

Almost immediately, the girl was confused. She knew Dazai wasn’t a touchy kind of guy, so the fact that he had willingly let her sleep on his shoulder for hours wasn’t in his character. So why had he done it? Why had he allowed such a thing?

And that was the question wasn't it? Why didn’t Dazai wake up, why did such a simple yet foolish statement cause him to lose sight of reality. It was stupid, he was stupid for it. Those words didn’t even mean anything. So why was he so enamored by them all the same?

But of course, he said none of those things, his mind an impenetrable fortress as he only smiled goofily in order to cover up his own conflict. “How could I when you looked so cute?”

Asa didn’t even blink though, seeing through his facade in an instant. “I’m being serious Osu, you didn’t have to stay here for hours. You should’ve just thrown me off. I’m sure you had something important to do today.”

That’s what he should’ve done, both of them knew it. Dazai wasn’t the kind of man to just selflessly allow such a thing to happen. Usually he’d just leave them in the grass and abandon them all together.

But this time, for some reason that Asa couldn’t figure out, he stayed.

Not wanting to talk about such things anymore, Dazai then glanced towards the phone a couple inches away from him before recalling Chuuya’s pissed off reaction.

And yes, he did have something to do today but letting his partner struggle was way more fun. So maybe this wasn't so bad after all.

Because of that, the boy simply shrugged before fixing his crumbled black jacket carelessly. “Nothing interesting, but I must thank you, love. You gave me something far more entertaining in return.”

Not understanding Dazai then watched Asa bat her innocent little eyes and turn her head in return. “And what’s that?”

Already feeling his lips curve into a smug sadistic smirk, he finished cheerfully. “Why, an opportunity to mess with my favorite dog!”

In fact, Dazai could already picture the stupid dumbfounded look on Chuuya’s face when he told him that he was ditching. It was music to his ears. Now he couldn’t join the raid, not when he had already gotten such a satisfying reaction from his favorite toy.

And though Asa didn’t fully understand what he was saying, his twisted response didn’t bother her in the slightest. In fact, it was the opposite, the girl thinking he would’ve been pissed after hours of having to be her pillow.

Brushing the dirt and grass off her skirt, Asagao then pushed her feet to stand before looking out towards the bustling sounds around her. “Well, I’m glad you’re not mad but I guess I should be heading back. I already took up way too much of your time.”

After this annoying night, the only thing she wanted now was to crawl back in her bed before she died of embarrassment from drooling on her brother’s best friend's shoulder without knowing. In fact, she could already feel the heat emerging to her cheeks at the memory.

Yet that’s when Dazai paused before glancing towards the girl. “That might not be the best idea, love.”

Asagao then paused only for the mafioso to grab his phone in order to show her the message he had received just a couple minutes prior. “I had my men stake out the place and it seems like Ango is still there. If you go back now he’ll probably try to drag you back again..”

Then all at once, she felt her face fall. Oh yeah, Ango. She had forgotten about that stuck up, straight laced, government agent. Damn it, looks like she couldn’t relax like she wanted to now that he was chasing after her again.

Grumbling to herself, Asa then ran a hand across her face with frustration before shaking her head in exasperation. Just when would he give it a rest? “...Great...looks like I can’t go home after all..”

She then closed her eyes, trying her best not to show her annoyance before Asa sighed in order to turn back to the bandaged boy with a wave of her hand. “Either way, thanks again, Osu. I’ll let you get back to your illegal activities now.”

Dazai then watched her start to leave, already knowing that she was going to bumble around the city in order to kill time until Ango left. The question was, would she even make it back home with her blurry offset eyesight? Now that was to be determined.

Just then, last night's events began to play in his mind like some kind of punishment. There was her voice again, mocking him into still silence.

Osamu..I think you’re a good man.

Just great. First Odasaku was haunting him and now his sister was doing the same. Why couldn’t he get her foolish little statement out of his head?

It’s not like he was happy about it, it was just a delusion on her part after all. Although now that he thought about it, Asagao seemed to delude herself about everything.

She deluded herself by hoping that life had meaning, she deluded herself into never looking at the negatives and she deluded herself into thinking her big brother resented her even though it was not true.

But the biggest mistake she seemed to make was picking Dazai to be her constant, her unmovable tangible source of Odasaku’s life. Sure, letters were one thing, they were physical, unchanging, but him? He knew that he wasn’t reliable in that sense.

Yes, Dazai knew himself better than anyone else. He was fragile and flighty, a flicker in this pathetic life that could burn out with just a slightest blow of air. He was wavering and artificial, and the fact that she had so openly stated that he was her lifeline was something that the boy found incredibly foolish.

Because he couldn’t give her what she desired, what she needed more than anything.

She couldn’t ground herself with him, even if she wanted to.

Because Dazai didn’t want to live, he didn’t want to wake up tomorrow and carry on with this joke of a life. And one day he was sure he would succeed in his wish to finally disappear from this world entirely. It was inevitable, and yet Asagao still clung to his physical body simply because she had nothing else to prove Odasaku’s writings.

And Dazai knew she would be ruined like that, that putting such desperation into an already dead man would result in a cataclysmic detonation beyond human prescription.

Because of that, the boy felt himself move, reaching forward in order to grasp onto Asagao’s hand and pull her against his chest. “You know, since we are now both suddenly free. Why don’t we go on a date?”

Asagao only paused though, feeling the warmth from the proximity before turning to look at him in confusion. Did she just hear that right? No, it couldn’t be. “You’re asking me on a date?

Lifting his hands up with excitement, Dazai then spoke back. “Why not! My darling girlfriend has planned two of them already. I think it’s time I do the honors this time.”

And he thought Asa would jump for joy at that, although it seemed she only stared at him with disbelief, like she couldn’t comprehend what he was saying. “I didn’t think you’d care about that kinda thing..”

Pouting his lips, Dazai then jumped back from the girl in question before dramatically whining back. “How mean, Asa-chan. How could you say such hurtful things to your boyfriend like that? Did you ever think I just wanna spend some extra time with my cute girl?”

Once again though, Asa deadpanned, not buying his boy-ish act. “Not really no..”

Gasping at her blunt reply, Dazai then shoved his hand over his heart in order to hunch over like he had been shot. “Ouch. You wound me, love! I don’t know how I’ll ever recover now!”

Although that’s when Asagao simply shut her eyes before giving a heavy sigh in order to turn back to the boy with a light smile. “Osamu, I appreciate the gesture but you know you don’t have to push yourself like that for me. I’ve already bothered you enough by going past our agreement and fell asleep on your shoulder without asking. I couldn't expect more.”

At that, Dazai couldn’t help but pause. Ah, she knew he was going out of his character and pushing himself past what he would normally do. What a clever girl, picking him apart like that. He couldn’t help but admire it.

And though she was right in a sense, it wasn’t about want or not. It was more of a need. The need to give Oda’s sister something more reliable and tangible then just a sad suicidal boy like him, something that wouldn’t fade from her fingertips without warning.

Because of that, Dazai simply reached forward in order to hold onto both her hands, a new sparkle in his eyes. “Aww Asa-chan, you’re so sweet for worrying about me. My heart has been restored! And don’t worry about the agreement, just think of this little outing as a freebie!”

Asagao still didn’t seem overly convinced though, the girl trying to decipher his hidden intentions silently as Dazai smugly smiled. Oh, she was working overtime to get into his head, wasn’t she? Too bad he wasn’t going to reveal this little secret.

And just as the boy predicted. Asa was stumped. She knew he wasn’t being genuine about asking for a date, that he had some kind of plan underneath it all. Hell, the boy didn’t even care about her, that much was already established. So why all of a sudden had Dazai asked for this strange request?

She was curious, sure, but Oda’s sister still tried to stay strong, knowing she had already burdened him way too much today. Who cares if he was trying to manipulate her right now into something, their agreement was only about the letters. Nothing else.

And she had already broken that rule tonight. No, she couldn’t break it any further.

Yet that’s when Dazai lowered his eyes slowly before adding nonchalantly. “Oh, and did I forget to mention we are going somewhere that has to do with Odasaku?”

Then all at once, Asagao felt her head immediately snap back to his. Wait, he was going to take her somewhere that her brother visited? Damn it, he knew she couldn’t resist that, not when she had been searching for traces of him all throughout Yokohama.

Dazai on the other hand was smiling like a fiend, knowing that he had her right where he wanted her. From just the look on her face he knew she was squirming with conflict right now. Just the way he liked it.

A moment later, Asagao replied, her voice slightly desperate. “Where?”

The mafioso then darkened before pushing a mocking finger up to her lips in order to cut off her curiosity. “Ah ah ah, you gotta say the magic words first. Now, let’s try this again..”

Pushing his fingers away, Dazai then dipped his head down in a dramatic bow in order to lift his hand out to the girl in question, already knowing she was trapped against a metaphorical wall. “What do you say, love? Will you go on a date with me?”

And for a moment, Asagao paused, not wanting to give him the satisfaction. But the more the silence clung onto the air, the more her fingers began to fidget and twitch with the idea of finding out more about her brother.

Then all at once, her resolve faltered before muttering under her breath with embarrassment. “As long as you don’t mind..”

Yet Dazai only shook his head at the weak attempt, wiggling his fingers in front of her before humming back in dissatisfaction. “I need a yes, love.”

And then he waited, he waited for the submission that was a guarantee. Yes, Asagao was clever, she read him a million different ways but it seemed he still knew how to get what he wanted. And this time, he would win their little game.

Taking a heavy breath, Asagao then closed her eyes before lifting her hand out to the devious man in question, already knowing she had lost this round. “Yes, Osamu. I’ll go on a date with you...”

Although before her fingers could make contact with her hand, Dazai immediately closed the distance before grasping onto her hand with an excited cheer. “Yay! Now that wasn’t so hard, was it? Come on, let’s go!”

He then shifted his fingers down to her wrist before turning around in order to drag the poor girl down an uncertain path as Dazai beamed happily, pulling his tamed little puppy along the way.

And with that, he marked another tally in victory.

Dazai Osamu: 2 Oda Asagao: 1

----

Chapter 7:

Throughout her blurry uncertain vision, Asagao felt her body pulled towards the unknown as she focused on the solid black mass that had consumed her whole world. And whether he realized it or not, the girl slowly felt the outside murmurs and voice disappear into her own mind.

Because nothing else but him mattered to her.

Osamu seemed to have that effect on her every time she saw them, Asa always desperate to soak in everything about the oblivious boy regardless of the barriers in front of her eyes. His words, his actions, the way he held himself, the cadence in which he spoke, she categorized it all.

Which was why his decision to take her on this date was so odd.

Because as far as she knew, Osu wasn’t that kind of man. He was a cruel, manipulative, mafia executive that only did things out of pure entertainment or for some kind of tactical advantage.

Yes, her brother was different but Asagao knew that the blood in her veins didn’t fully protect her from Dazai’s real character.

Which was fine. She didn’t care that he was incapable of emotion and kindness. That’s not why she was here in the first place. She wasn’t that simple minded, and the last thing she wanted him to do was force himself out of that box and make him uncomfortable.

But it seemed that today he wouldn’t take no for an answer which meant that he either had some other intention with their date or he was pushing himself to do something strange for the sake of Oda.

Sighing to herself, Asagao then paused as her body collided with the mafia executive, not realizing the man had stopped completely. Oh, were they here already? She didn’t recognize this part of town.

Yet that's when she felt his fingers reach forward in order to snatch the large circular frames from her face, eradicating her safety net as Asa’s eyes widened in fear. What was he doing? She didn’t want to see the world right now. “O-Osam..”

Although before she could protest, Dazai replaced the object with his hands, pushing her back against his chest in order to darken her surroundings before she could have time to process them.

Then she heard his voice, sharp against her ear. “You’ll want to fully see this, love.”

Fully see it? No, that was impossible. She didn’t want to see anything, she didn’t want to decipher anything fully. Then she would see the darkness, she would see the cracks in the perfect facade that life displayed.

Dazai seemed to sense her distress though, his tone teasing as his fingers pressed deeper across her eyes to show her that they weren’t going anywhere. “What’s wrong, don’t trust your boyfriend? Afraid I’m going to hurt you while you’re defenseless like this?”

He was trying to scare her, to intimate her per usual. But if he thought that she was going to crumble between his fingers then he was sorely mistaken. “You know that’s not why..it’s just..my eyes..”

Asa then heard him laugh in pure amusement before his bandaged arm brushed against hers in order to lift the surface and place it on an unknown doorknob in front of them. “Don’t worry, darling. I got you.”

Did that mean he was going to keep her eyes covered for her until they got to where he wanted her to see? But what if he slipped up, what if he let go accidentally or for some kind of joke? What he was asking for required a lot of trust, trust from a boy that thrived on sadistic games.

But even so, Asa complied, her fingers turning open the door as Dazai urged her forward in order for her breath to lodge inside her throat with each step. She had nothing to guide her, nothing but his body to rely on.

Just then, his fingers found her wrist before lifting them up in order for her to register a railing as the mafioso hummed back into her ear. “Count the steps, love. There are twenty of them.”

And so she did, the girl gripping around the railing for dear life as she counted each invisible step in her mind, careful not to trip as her back brushed against Dazai’s body in order to ground herself.

Finally reaching the bottom, Asagao then sighed in relief only to hear him speak once again, the sound causing shivers to run down her spine. “Good girl, here’s your reward.”

Yet that’s when she felt the safety of his fingers start to disappear from her eyes, causing Asa to gap in horror. Wait, what was he doing? He hadn’t given her glasses back. Was he serious about her seeing this place with her eyes? No, that was too scary.

Blinding lights then filled her vision, causing the girl to squint before she couldn’t help but freeze at the very sight before her. And in a millisecond, she seemed to forget her own rule about viewing things from a blurry lens.

Because staring back at her was a small cozy little bar, the atmosphere warm and secluded with rows of stools and the smell of liquor wafting through the air.

Wait, she had seen this place before.

Aggressively shoving her hands into her pockets, Asagao then pulled out the picture that Dazai had shown her last night before her eyes couldn’t help but widen with realization in order to lift the photo in front of the place slightly.

Her assumption was right, it was a perfect match.

Feeling any response fall silent in her throat, Oda’s sister whispered. “Is this…”

Dazai finished for her, his hands in his pockets as he looked at the place in nostalgic sadness. “Bar Lupin, where the picture was taken.”

And almost immediately, Asagao felt her throat fill with emotion in order for her vision to blur with tears only for her to immediately blink them away.

No, she didn’t want to only see the blurry picture of this place. She needed it to be real, to soak in every nook and cranny into it was permanently etched in her mind.

Now she knew what Dazai had meant by saying she would have wanted to fully see this place without the barriers of her glasses. He was right, he was so incredibly right. This feeling, these physical floorboards under her feet. They felt so real.

Her big brother had stood in this same exact spot, he had breathed in the same air and had seen the same view.

Sure, she had been living in his old apartment for some time but Asagao had no proof that he had ever inhabited the place.

But with the photograph between her fingers, Asagao knew that her mind wasn’t playing tricks on her. Oda was here, and now so was she. The idea was so simplistic and yet it brought her so much joy, her hands unable to stop the shake and smile towards the empty bar.

Then she turned to the supposedly heartless mafioso before speaking through her tears. “Osamu, this is..thank you..I’m so happy..”

So this is what he was trying to show her? He must have gotten the idea after hearing her outburst to Ango about not having anything but Osamu to cling to. How sweet, he knew she needed this more than anything.

He always tried to act so scary but he really was like this, huh?

Dazai on the other hand stared at the empty place in silence as a mix of grief and familiar comfort coursed through him all at once. He had promised himself that he wouldn’t come back after Odasaku's death, and yet here he was all the same.

The memories, the feelings were all so suffocating, he wished he never felt them in the first place. But this was the only place that Dazai knew Odasaku in, this was the only place that he could give Asagao. Because of that, he had gone against his own wishes.

At least this place wouldn’t fade like himself, and that was enough for Dazai.

That’s right, now when Dazai finally succeeded to die, when he left this world he knew that she could wallow her sorrows here, she could find her big brother in these walls.

Now the boy wasn’t the only physical tie to Odasaku she had.

Yeah, now he could die with peace again without the guilt of destroying the last piece of his best friend that resided in this shitty little life. Did that make him a good person? He wasn’t sure but this was something he felt like he had to do.

For Odasaku, and for his precious little sister that the man had left in his fingers.

Closing his eyes, Dazai then tried to wash away the feeling before settling into his usual seat by the bar in order to wave over the girl in question. “Let’s have a drink, love.”

He then watched as she complied immediately, slipping into the stool beside him only for an unpleasant deja vu to fill his throat. Without her glasses she looked even more like Odasaku, especially from this angle.

The bartender turned to him immediately, his tone plain. “What will it be, Dazai?”

Tapping his fingers onto the top of the table, the mafioso already knew the answer. “Whiskey.”

Then the boy turned his gaze towards Oda’s sister only to rest his head on the palm of his hand with a slight tease. “Well, what about you, darling? Don’t worry, they have apple juice.”

He didn’t expect her to actually drink alcohol of course. She was just a fifteen year old girl, hardly old enough for liquor.

And hey, so was he but being in the mafia gave him a free pass. Besides, considering his other crimes, underage drinking was pretty low on the list of immoral behavior.

Yet that’s when Asa pushed her lips together cutely before pushing her hand up in order to shield her hollow eyes and reply to the bartender. “Make that a double, please..”

At that, Dazai couldn’t help but raise an eye, not expecting her response.“Ooooh, I’m impressed. But your brother would’ve had a heart attack hearing that.”

And he really would have. In fact, Dazai knew Odasaku would’ve definitely shut down Asagao's request for alcohol. Unlucky for her though, the boy wasn’t that considerate about laws and such.

What could he say? Ango was right, he was a bad influence.

Two amber colored drinks then slid into view as Asagao lightly traced her finger around the rim with a hum. “Would he? Then he better not find out that I started years ago.”

Years ago, huh? Perhaps Asagao wasn’t as good of a girl as he once thought. “How scandalous, Asa-chan. Should I tell Ango about that?”

At that, he watched her scrunch her nose up in disgust. “And what about you, Osu? You’re the same age as me.”

Dazai only hummed though, knowing it wasn’t the same. “I’m also a criminal, love.”

Asagao was silent, like she was processing the words before she threw the entire drink into the back of her throat before whispering bitterly. “Yeah well, so was I.”

The words were so small and yet Dazai heard every symbol before curiosity and intrigue couldn’t help but take up his entire throat. Now why did she have to say something like that? Now he wanted to pry into her mind and pull out an answer.

And there were many ways to do it, but none of them were savory in any way. You see, Dazai was skilled in manipulation and exploitation. He could seduce and coax even the strongest willed people.

So trying to make Asagao talk about her life was as simple as blinking for him.

It didn't matter if she seemed bothered when Ango brought it up last night. He’d get her to talk about it one way or another.

Lifting his hand up excitedly, Dazai than beamed towards the bartender before waving. “Two more!”

And as two more sets of liquor appeared in his vision, the boy simply slid them over to Asa with a fake innocence and a smile. “Go ahead, Asa-chan. And don’t worry about the price, it’s on me.”

He then watched Asagao look down at the new glass before picking up the object between her fingers.

And for a moment, Dazai thought he had succeeded in his bribe.

Although that’s when the girl simply closed her eyes before speaking into the glass plainly. “You know, Osamu. You don’t have to get me drunk. I’ll answer any question you want.”

At that, Dazai felt himself pause before his smile dropped all at once in order for him to change into his true cruel nature.

Ah, he should’ve figured it wasn’t gonna be that easy to coax her into his plans. He still wasn’t used to that, having someone that could read him almost instantly like a book.

Although that’s when he truly processed her words. Wait, did she just say that he could’ve just asked her about her life? Interesting, Dazai had never had that before. Usually they shut him down and he had to resort to dirty tactics.

How refreshing and yet utterly stupid on her part to open up to a man like him

Parting his lips to reply, he then watched as Asagao quickly downed the two drinks he had given her anyways, causing his eyes to flash with confusion.

Hold on, she had already figured out his plans to get her drunk and yet she was still going along with that anyways? What a strange girl. He thought she’d just push the glasses away.

And with no answer to his intrigues, Dazai couldn’t help but speak back. “Then why are you still accepting it?”

Pushing the glasses down from her lips, he then watched as Asagao paused before answering with a small smile. “Cause if you think I should be drunk for this conversion then I figured I should take you up on that offer.”

She still wasn’t looking at him though, and Dazai concluded it was because she still felt uncomfortable because he hadn’t given her glasses back yet. It’s not like he minded though. She was really cute when she hid her face like that, all shy and meek.

So instead, the boy didn’t speak about it, watching her call for another round of drinks before Dazai started his interrogation now that there was a rosy pink color to her cheeks. “Ango called you a hellhound. ”

Almost immediately, Asa laughed under her breath before swirling the drink between her fingers. “Ah, so that’s what it is. You were right to order those drinks.”

Dazai then watched as the girl threw back another shot before speaking distantly, like she was wrapping herself in some sort of memory. “The Hellhounds are an elite level of assassins, brought up from birth to be the perfect tools to those that hold their leash. Oda and I were orphans that were brought up into the same faction but because of my different way I saw the world,I was chosen as a candidate to be a hellhound.”

Smiling bitterly, Asa then lifted a finger up to her throat before ghosting across the skin. “By age five I knew how to run a knife across someone's throat and put a bullet in their brain without them knowing. My ability allowed quick, precise and clean kills. You could say I was a bit of a prodigy, just like you are.”

She then pushed, her face falling with unpleasant memories. “But the training..was intense...”

And as Dazai listened to her explanation things started to make sense. He didn’t know much about Odasaku before he joined the port mafia. He knew he was a freelance assassin but that’s about it. It made sense that he got those skills from somewhere.

But try as he may, he couldn’t see sweet little Asagao as a bloodthirsty prodigy like he was. Sure, she had fought him before but the girl never seemed to intend to kill.

Unless she was holding back on him this entire time.

Ah, what a sneaky little princess. So hypocritical to tease him about playing around with her when she was clearly doing the same thing. She threw that gun away on purpose and limited her ability use during their fight to make it seem like he had the advantage.

Now he wanted to fight her for real to see just how scary she could really be.

Turning his head in curiosity, Dazai then pointed his finger towards her distant expression. “Is that how those pretty little eyes of yours became so hollow and empty?”

He then watched as she clutched the empty glass between her fingers before the mafioso silently slid the rest of his drink over to her only for Asa to accept it gratefully.

Damn, the answer to that question must’ve really been traumatic given that she needed more alcohol in response.

And though most men would’ve changed the subject, Dazai only let her compose herself, silently watching as she closed her eyes before replying. “They made me see the darkest part of the world, they waterboarded me, disoriented me and then forced me to analyze every single depravity that the human mind could conjure up. It wasn’t for the weak of heart and… it broke something in me permanently...”

Then before she could process it, memories and past feelings couldn’t help but creep up her spine. They were blurry and out of order but Asa got enough to know that her time as a hellhound wasn’t the most pleasant.

Even now, she could feel the sharp cold chill of the icy tub as her ears drowned out any semblance of noise only to be assaulted with fingers on her face in order to scream at her to analyze the situation before her. She felt the blinding feeling of pepper spray in her eyes and blows to her head as she tried to answer the prompts that her captives had given her.

She even felt the lingering sensation of cloth around her eyes as they plunged her into pitch black darkness for months on end only to blind her with bright lights and disorient her further.

Her spine then began to shiver before forcing her eyes back open in order to blankly stare at the amber colored liquid in front of her. “I can’t turn it off anymore, I can’t help but see every fucked up corner of people’s intentions. My eyes catch every spec of darkness, every disappointment. So much so that it hurt to see, still does. I hate it, this thing they made me into..”

And that was the thing she hated more than anything. It wasn’t that those people had molded her into a robotic mold of their perception. It wasn’t that they essentially tortured her into their own design.

It was the fact that she was now permanently damaged, doomed to live the rest of her life in a sacred manner. She couldn’t look at the world anymore without seeing the bad. She couldn’t escape the sharp headaches and nauseous feelings in her chest just by wishing she was any semblance of normal.

Some days she even thought about ripping her own eyes out of her sockets, to perfectly gouge them out and blind herself so that she didn’t have to perceive anything ever again.

Forcing herself to carry on, Asagao finished robotically. “But one day my body couldn’t keep up. They left me to die because I was no longer sufficient and Oda found me. Then he faked my death, hid me away, gave me my glasses so I didn’t have to see anymore and became an assassin in my place.”

At that, Dazai felt his fingers slip into his pockets before feeling the metal of her glasses in order to pull out the object and place them on the table.

He had taken them for her benefit but now that the boy knew the full story of such insignificant objects, it didn’t seem right to withhold them anymore from her.

Sure, Asa had vaguely told him about the reasons for her glasses but now that the details were all laid out, Dazai couldn’t help but look at her with a new light.

These lenses weren’t just a preference, they were a necessity to her.

She needed them just like Dazai needed his bandages, and that was something the fifteen year old boy could understand quite well.

It seemed like they had more in common than he originally thought.

The girl accepted the glasses immediately, her fingers wrapping around the objects before placing the safe guard around her eyes before smiling softly in return. “And now, I’m free, my big brother gave me freedom.”

Freedom? The term was incomprehensible for the young boy. What did that feel like, to be free? To not be tied down by the darkness of the past? He didn’t know.

Just then, Dazai’s mind filled with that same twisted mindset he had come to know. What a stupid girl, she was talking about freedom when she was sitting next to one of the most dangerous men in Yokohama.

She had just dangled her skills and past resume in front of his face so carelessly.

Swirling his finger around the rim of his drink, the mafioso threatened back. “Shouldn’t you be a little more cautious about telling me all of this so easily? I am the demon prodigy after all. I could force you back into that life..”

And he could. If he really wanted to, Dazai knew he could pull her into the port mafia and use her talents for his own selfish desires. She had to have known that.

But then why was she just spilling such dangerous secrets so easily?

Asagao only hummed though, his threat leaving her unshaken. “Hypothetically yes, and I’m sure you’ve thought about it at least once or twice. I’m a tempting offer after all. Any executive would jump at the chance to use me..”

Then he watched as Asa narrowed her eyes for a moment before adding lightly. “But unlike what Ango believes, I know you won’t actually do it.”

Wouldn’t actually do it? Now that was a bold statement. He wondered what proof she had for that. “And why is that, love?”

Although that’s when Oda’s sister turned her body towards him for the first time since their conversation in order to speak with a victorious tease. “Cause it’s not what Oda would’ve wanted.”

At that, Dazai felt his lips curve into a bitter smile. Ah, she was right. She knew that Odasaku’s blood in her veins was keeping her safe. It was almost like she was rubbing that little detail in his face. Low blow.

For as dark and twisted as his mind was, Dazai knew that Odasaku had spent years trying to keep his little sister safe. Sure, having her in the port mafia would be a great benefit, but it would also ruin everything his best friend had ever worked for.

And that was something Dazai couldn’t do, no matter how evil he claimed to be.

Feeling himself laugh under his breath at her correct assumption, the boy then turned his head, playing devil's advocate just for the hell of it. “And let’s just say I didn’t care about that. What would you do then?”

Asagao then paused, thinking about his question before answering back with confidence. “Then I would let you drag me into the port mafia. But the only orders that I'd ever answer and respect would be yours.”

Dazai was certainly taken back by that. Was she serious? He knew her dedication to him was rather irrational but would she seriously put herself back in the darkness for his sake? Would she really disobey her big brother's last request that easily?

Trying out to laugh off her foolish joke, the boy pushed his hand under his chin before teasing sensually. “I’m flattered, love. So you would be my loyal subordinate then?”

But there was no hesitation or humor in her response. Only straight laced honesty. “Yeah, cause I need you by my side in order to see my big brother. Subordinate, girlfriend, they are just titles. An excuse, a way to keep each other around. In the end it doesn't matter what I’m called as long as I have you in my life.”

And try as he may, Dazai couldn’t help the bitter, unpleasant taste that built up in his throat. No, she wasn’t serious. There was no way. Her admiration, her desperation to find her brother, would she really have gone that far just for Oda’s sake?

He hated it, he hated the very little self respect she displayed, knowing that Odasaku would’ve also been horrified by what she was saying. She didn’t need Dazai in her life. Hell, her life would’ve been so much better without even knowing him.

And he knew that their titles of boyfriend and girlfriend were a sham but he never thought it would go this deep, that she would so desperately grab onto whatever excuse she could find in order to connect the two of them together.

Because of that, Dazai felt his mind run wild with possibilities.

In another reality, if that actually happened, if he had dragged Asagao back then did that also mean that Oda’s sister would’ve killed for him? Would she have snapped back to her old ways just in order to please him, to give him a reason to keep her around?

Didn’t she know how dangerous that was?

How could she possibly give a demon like him that much power to abuse?

Stretching her arms up in the air, Asagao then gave a goofy smile before beaming towards the boy all at once. “Like I said, it doesn’t matter what we call ourselves. In any universe or reality it would still be the same. You’re not getting rid of me anytime soon, Osu!”

She said that so proudly, so confidently that Dazai couldn’t help but allow his eyes to fall back on his drink. How could she be so passionate about him? He was a mess in every possible way. No one wanted to hang around him, and for good reason.

Their lives were so similar, both filled with horrors and brutal truths, and yet Asagao always wore a smile while he drowned in the pointlessness of it all. How could she do it? How could she feel so free when he was still chained by his own mind even today.

Because of that, Dazai felt his own tipsy lips move without permission, whispering into his glass with a sadness he rarely let free. “After seeing all that evil, how can you not want to die like me?”

And then he waited for her response, his shoulders tense and anxious from the sudden spilled murmur before Asagao lifted her head up in silent thought. “Mmm I don’t know. By all aspects that should be the case, right? But I’ve never felt that way, not once..”

Then her lips formed a lighthearted smile in return. “I guess it’s because I’m waiting for life to pleasantly surprise me. Just like you do, Samu.”

At that, Dazai lifted his head up in confusion. “How have I surprised you?”

Pushing her hands across the bar in explanation, Asa then replied lightly. “Well, you showed me this place to make me feel better, right? Even though I’m sure it brought back unpleasant memories, you still took me here for my sake..”

And Asagao knew that Dazai could act all he wanted but he had shown his true colors tonight. Sure, he may have used an underhanded tactic to bring her here but he had knowingly done the one thing she needed more than anything else.

Dazai though, didn’t feel the same way, knowing this date wasn’t as pure as she was making it out to be. The only reason he brought her here was to shift her devotion and admiration to something else, something more permanent than a dead man walking.

Pushing his hand up to his lips, the boy frowned under the skin. “Did it ever cross your mind that my reasons were selfish?”

And for a moment he thought she’d be disappointed, that she’d yell at him or cry once she realized the fabrication he had set up to make himself feel better.

Although that's when he watched the girl turn to him, her hand to her heart in absolute passion. “So what? Selfish and selfless, those are just small details. The results are the same. Doesn’t change the fact that you gave me such a precious gift..”

Lifting her hand to rest against her head, Asagao then gave the stunned boy a toothy smile of glee before adding wistfully. “But then again, nothing could ever be as precious as you, Dazai Osamu.”

And with those words, Dazai’s eyes widened in order to find himself slipping back into the very same malfunction that had plagued him just a couple hours ago.

Precious?

Him? There was no way. He was just a pathetically depressed kid. He wasn’t anyone, especially anyone precious. She was the precious one, she was Odasaku’s beloved sister and he was..well..he was nothing of value..

So much so, the boy tried to wipe the compliment away, not knowing how to take it. “You’re drunk, love.”

He then watched as Asagao’s lips turned into an adorable little pout in order to whine back to him through her rosy pink cheeks. “Whaaa, am not! I was being serious! I really do think you’re precious to me, even if you don’t feel the same. And anyways, It takes a lot more than..one..two..three..a bit of booze to knock me down!”

Dazai then watched as the red haired girl looked down at her fingers before failing to count the number of drinks she had ingested only for the boy to snicker under his breath.

Oh yeah, she was definitely drunk.

So much so, the boy lifted his hand up before patting the top of her head like a little puppy in order to break her concentration. “Careful, sweetheart. You’re gonna burst a blood vessel if you think that hard.”

Seemingly jumping back to life, Asa then lifted her finger in the air. “The point is..!”

Her eyes then began to daze in order to slowly drop her head with confusion. “What was the point again..”

Yet before Dazai could answer, Asagao was back at it, her expression changing back to one of passion in order to lean closer on her stool. “Oh yeah! The point is, why would I wanna die when there are still so many opportunities for the world to be beautiful? I don’t wanna miss one by giving up so soon..”

Leaning even closer, the girl then gasped as she slid out of the stool completely only for Dazai’s strong bandaged arms to catch her before she hit the ground.

Asagao didn’t seem to care though, her eyes showing through her glasses in order to lift her finger up and boop his nose with a slight giggle. “And neither should you, love”

Then the girl seemed to gasp in excitement before completely slipping out of his arms in order to turn to the small radio next to the counter. “Ah! I love this song! Turn it up Mr. Bartender!”

Skipping over to the open area, Asagao then began to bounce and dance to the song in child-ish glee only for Dazai’s eyes to travel down to the hands that once held her before balling his fists with a bitter chuckle.

What was she saying? He shouldn’t give up on life? Foolish girl, he gave up a long time ago. It was too late for those kinds of words. She should’ve known that.

How dare she put such pointless and toxic thoughts inside his head like that.

Lifting his head to look up at the carefree girl, the mafioso then watched in stunned silence as she twirled and giggled across the bar without a care in the world.

She looked so free like this, so unchained and open. He wondered how it felt, to radiate such genuine happiness and to be unequivocally herself. Because Dazai had never felt happy, not in that kind of way.

He used happiness as a tool, as a mask to further his manipulation. He knew the concept, sure, but actually conceptualizing such a thing? He had realized from a young age that it was impossible for someone as broken like him.

But Oda’s sister, she seemed to radiate the emotion with her entire soul, she knew the wonder and mystery of it. And Dazai couldn’t help but be jealous of such a fact, knowing he would never experience such a human emotion to the level that she was.

That’s when his eyes couldn’t help but flash with painstaking realization.

Oh, he had it wrong this entire time, didn’t he? Dazai had connected the similarities between their backstories, their intelligence, their manipulation and their necessity for his bandages and her glasses.

But looking at her now, the boy knew they weren’t anything alike.

In many ways Asagao was like a sun, her light always exuding positivity and hope with every response. She was unreachable, a fragile yet strong flower that was just barely out of reach in every possible way.

And Dazai, well he was a black hole, unable to find anything of value but the darkness that always consumed every part of his twisted fucked up soul. And while she was unreachable, he was a ghost, flickering in and out of this life, unable to touch anything or anyone.

They shared so many similarities and yet Asagao still saw the good, she saw the very best the world could offer while Dazai couldn’t even find one beneficial thing around him.

He almost wished that they didn’t weren’t so alike, simply because then the boy could excuse their lives as plain nativity on her part.

That’s what he thought all that positive bullshit came from in the first place, thinking that she was just a spoiled and sheltered girl that Odasaku had protected.

But she wasn’t, she had seen just as much evil and pain as Dazai had. And yet, her responses were so vastly different. She had managed to keep her humanity while the boy had descended into a full blown monster.

And Dazai would be lying to say he wasn’t both incredibly jealous and yet so genuinely intrigued by her in every way.

No, that wasn’t the right word.

He was enamored, he admired her resolve more than anything else. What a beautiful, enthralling sight. It was intoxicating, and enchanting in every way, seeing how she defied the corruption of the universe.

Although that’s when the bartender interrupted his thoughts, his eyes also gazed towards Asagao in question. “Dazai, who is that woman?”

Shifting his body to rest his back against the bar, Dazai then smiled to himself before answering honestly. “She’s Odasaku’s sister.”

The bartender then felt himself freeze before looking at the girl in a whole new light. “I can see it.”

Lowering his eyes in admiration, Dazai then felt his lips curve a bit wider. Ah, she’d be so happy to hear that. “Me too.”

And he really did, he saw Odasaku in her so clearly, especially now. It was in her carefree attitude, it was in the sense of unbothered calm she always had when she was around him. If only Asa realized just how much she brought her big brother to life by just merely existing.

Lifting his head to the sky, the boy then closed his eyes in order to speak to his old friend. Oh Odasaku, why did you give me to your sister like this? Don’t you see I’m no good for her? Did you really trust me not to corrupt her?

Yet that’s when he heard another voice enter his mind only to watch a drunken man try to make his way up to Asa only for Dazai to darken his eyes in order to quickly jump off his stool and lift an arm out to the girl in question.

Asa then felt his bandaged arms wrapped around her waist a second later, pulling her into his chest only for the girl to look up in her drunken daze. “S-Samu?”

She was then met with his endless brown gaze, staring at her in order to slip his hand into hers with a light chuckle. “Can’t leave my girl hanging, now can I?”

Feeling his head tilt towards the unwelcome presence, Dazai then pushed her body closer to him before glaring wordless in silent threat for the depravity that lay behind the drunken man's eyes.

The stranger then stumbled away in order for the mafioso to hum in acceptance before his hands traveled to his “girlfriend’s” hips as she hummed to the music. “Didn’t think the great executive liked to dance.”

Smiling under his breath, Dazai lowered his head, meeting her eyes. “What can I say, you’ve inspired me.”

Yet that's when Asagao’s lips turned into a frown before turning away from his gaze with a mutter. “What am I gonna do, Osu? I can’t go home..Ango is gonna say annoying things again..”

At the mention of Ango, Dazai felt his throat tick with unpleasant memories. Ah, that’s right. Ango was still staking out her place, hoping she’d come back. Well, it wasn’t like she could show up drunk either, then he’d really have a conniption.

But it also wasn’t as if he could let the clumsy glasses-wearing girl out free in Yokohama. She couldn’t even find where she was going sober, which meant she definitely wasn’t going to be okay like this.

Which only left one option left.

Asagao then felt his lips brush against her ear before she heard Dazai’s next words, the meaning causing her entire body to shiver and her eyes to widen all at once.

“If you really have nowhere to go then how about you come to my place, sweetheart?”

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vespaer77 · 2 months

Note

You just did the impossible. You changed someone’s opinion online. I can see Gale now. Thank you!

Listen, I'd be the first to forgive anyone if they didn't share my feelings. Gale is the worst about filling in the gaps in his story, and I filled a lot of them by suddenly taking an interest... and then going out to the Forbidden Realms wiki pages and doing supplementary reading on Mystra and Blackstaff Academy which made me first go, "Oh." And then, "OH." And then finally, "Oh my god."

It's like the same criticism I have about Star Wars, haha =) In order to know the whole story, one has to have seen x and y shows and read z comic book. Otherwise you wouldn't know that Kylo Ren wasn't actually responsible for the destruction of Luke's temple, which is somewhat critical yet relatively hidden information.

I *hated* Gale in early access. He was my dead last least favorite character. They changed him somewhat in full release (not to mention he was infinitely hotter, lol), but it wasn't until damned near the end of the game when I was like, "Wait... wait a minute." I think that's also why they did to Rolan what they did - in the same place, even. While we were completing Gale's companion quest. Rolan was the clue, the tip off. Another insufferably egotistical wizard. Suffering abuse. They laid the parallel out so plainly and I still walked right past it until Gale read the book and suddenly took a very surprisingly dark turn. And I felt so silly that it surprised me so.

And I was so disinterested in Gale at the time that I saved his companion quest for basically the last. Sort of. I think I did Gortash after him. But I got to watch all the other companions face their abuser and win. I got to help Wyll break his contract AND free his father. I got to help Shadowheart free herself from Shar and return to the open arms of Selune. I got to help Halsin fix his past mistakes and return Moonrise to its former self. I got to help Astarion face his abuser at long, long last and free himself for the first time in his own memory, along with thousands of others. And Sebastian <3 And then I even helped Karlach face her abuser and bring him to justice.

But what did Gale get to do? Where was his freedom? His catharsis? When he faced his abuser, the only thing that happened was her expressing her disappointment that he was still alive, that he didn't choose her above his own self-inflicted demise. And then she subjected him to yet another new pact that still indebted him to her. Because he's a wizard. No matter what he does, as long as he draws breath and casts spells, he'll always be indebted to her. And it just felt so... hollow. Unfair.

it made me FEEEEEEELLLLLLugh things haha! And then I was like, fuck. No, I do. I like this character.

OKAY I LOVE HIM, ALRIGHT? THERE. I SAID IT.

So I unbelievably and totally and with full chest and face understand and respect it. Not every character is going to be to everyone's tastes. If anything? It just proves how well these characters are written. That this team of writers were capable of such subtlety and depth. I'm not sure I could do the same justice to a fictional creation of my own. I'm just in awe of Larian Studios =)

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 gale #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3 discussion #my asks

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lunar-wandering · 1 year

Text

Stim

Summary: Wukong has been told, for over 2,000 years, that “repetitive motions” are annoying and bad. Today he’s going to learn that’s wrong.

TW: Wukong has some internalized ableism thoughts in this, I didn’t get really into it that much to the point where I think it’s really bad but I’m putting a TW anyways. Oh, also there’s a tiny bit of self harm via him biting his cheek.

Word Count: 4.9k

Read on Ao3

MK was excited.

Wukong could tell, based on the overpowering smile and energetic…well, energy coming off of his successor. The kid had shown up for training and, instead of asking what they would be learning that day, had almost instantly started rambling. Something about a new game? Wukong wasn’t entirely sure. MK spoke so fast and there were a lot of younger monkeys running around at the start of MK’s explanation, so Wukong hadn’t managed to fully… get what MK was saying, and he didn’t want to interrupt by asking the kid now, since it had already been a good few minutes of the kid rambling off. He thinks he’s starting to get the gist of it, the new game seemingly having a character inspired by himself and-

Realization dawns on him, and Wukong interrupts his successor, stating the name of the game as well as the fact he needed to approve the script for it. MK freezes, and for a brief moment Wukong worries he got something wrong, that now wasn’t a good time in the conversation to interrupt with this fact. Maybe he should have waited until he was sure MK was entirely finished?

MK surprises him by jumping back into excitement mode at full speed, shifting gears from just talking about the game to asking if Wukong can give him any early access spoilers in zero seconds flat.

“C’mon, please? At the very least, just one hint.” He gets down on his knees to emphasize just how badly he wants to know, and Wukong barely keeps himself from rolling his eyes at the overdramatics, forcing back the memories of a certain… ex-friend of his doing something similar. (He’d been dragged to so many plays way back when).

“Well…. I guess I can tell you one thing.” Wukong chuckles, giving in, and kneeling down to whisper a small spoiler into MK’s ear that, based on the kid’s rambles, he just knew would drive MK wild.

And it seems he was right, as MK practically jumps up, and Wukong smiles at his successor’s excitement-

Only for that smile to drop as MK starts jumping up and down repeatedly, flapping his arms and shaking his hands as though trying to shake the energy out of himself.

Wukong quickly fixes his expression to a neutral smile before MK can notice. Not that it would matter really, the kid was so focused in on moving around that he wasn’t even looking at his mentor. But, as he watches MK continue to do his thing, he has to wonder.

Did… Did he pick that up from him?

He couldn’t have, right? Wukong had completely managed to get rid of his “destructive and annoying habits” by the time the journey had ended.

So why was MK doing the exact same thing he used to do? He was so certain he’d stopped doing… any of that altogether. Had he slipped up and fell back into it at some point? The kid surely would’ve commented on it if he had, right? Oh no- how long had the kid been doing this for?

That thought struck a chord of pure fear in Wukong’s mind. How long had MK been doing this for?? Had his friends and family noticed?

It occurred to Wukong that he should take MK back to the city and, at the very least, apologize to Pigsy for accidentally passing down his old habits onto MK… somehow. He still wasn’t sure how MK had picked this habit of his up.

…Would it hurt that much to ask?

“Hey- uh, Kid, how did you-” Wukong started, then blinked, realizing that all that stood before him were the monkeys and a small indent in the ground. For a beat, he just stared at the indent in general confusion, briefly glancing up at the sky in a split second of wondering if something had fallen to the ground and he hadn’t noticed, before the dots finally connected in his brain and he shook his head, glancing off in the direction of the mainland, activating his golden vision to see MK vaulting his way over the ocean back towards the city’s shoreline. The kid had probably told him goodbye and he hadn’t even noticed it from how deep in thought he was. He hoped that MK wasn’t too upset that he didn’t answer.

…Albeit, considering the kid had outright left instead of staying for training, it finally clicked that something must’ve happened in the city.

Still swallowed by his earlier concern about MK’s new habits, Wukong turned himself into a bird and followed behind his apprentice.

Thankfully, it ended up just being Jin and Yin wrecking a little havoc again, a situation MK easily dealt with.

Unfortunately though, this meant that MK returned to Pigsy’s noodles with the exact same amount of energy coursing through him as he had before the fight.

Wukong winced as he watched the kid’s friends converge on him outside of the Noodle Shop- as far as he could tell, it was the usual checkup to make sure that MK hadn’t been injured (like he even could be, albeit, he supposed it was a fair concern, he wasn’t sure if any of them had noticed that he’d been slowly peeling back the magic seal to let MK be invulnerable again. It wasn’t at full strength yet like it was before, but it was starting to get there. …Actually, had he told MK he was doing that? He couldn’t remember. Huh. Maybe he should bring that up at their next training session- oh shit he was getting distracted again-), but the injury checkup wasn’t really what had Wukong concerned.

No, what made him outright cringe from his perch on the edge of a nearby building, was when MK began rambling about the game once more…and started doing the motions again.

He got himself ready to hop down there, to apologize, promise he’d fix it, like how he’d been fixed, and very nearly did when he saw Mei start copying MK’s gestures, assuming that she was making fun of him-

But paused, as their expressions finally registered in his mind, and it hit him like a truck that the dragon girl wasn’t making fun of MK.

She was joining in.

Wukong could feel his bird transformation drop, changing him back to his normal monkey form out of shock, and he quickly dove down behind the roof’s ledge before anyone could look up and see him. For a moment, he just sat there, staring at nothing, panic starting to grip at him. Had he somehow managed to influence not one, but two kids? Did he need to do double the apologies??

Taking a deep breath, he grabbed hold of the edge of the roof, lifting himself up slightly to peek over again, just to make sure, and only just barely stopped himself from letting out a noise as he saw what was happening below.

Which was…nothing.

Or well, it was something, MK and Mei still doing the gestures happily, talking back and forth, but-

The others… didn’t look mad?

It was like-

They all seemed to be acting like this was normal.

It took a moment, for that to sink in.

This was considered normal.

And now that he was really thinking about it, no-one passing by on the street were giving the Monkie Kid or the Dragon Girl a second glance either. If he had been doing the motions as publicly as MK and Mei were doing them, he would’ve certainly been receiving dirty glares by now.

But for some reason, that… simply wasn’t happening.

…Wukong wasn’t an idiot. He knew he had been isolated, and hadn’t interacted with the mortal world for some time. But- was it really-

Was it really true? Not some sort of prank?? This kind of thing was just… accepted now?

Wukong grabbed hold of his tail to keep it from swishing back and forth, taking a deep breath as anxiety pooled in his chest.

If this was normal now, it was arguably a good thing he hadn’t voiced any of his thoughts in front of MK. What if he had hurt the kid’s feelings? He could’ve. He almost did.

Wukong let go of his tail in favour of covering his face with hands, and slowly dragging his hands down his face, proceeding to resist the sudden urge to repeat the action. Standing up, he briefly glanced down again, just in time to see the small group happily entering the Noodle Shop, and he just as quickly looked away, not bothering with either his cloud nor his transformations as he simply teleported back to his house on the mountain.

Collapsing face first onto the couch, he rolled to the side, staring at his laptop, wondering if maybe he should use the internet to look into the motions MK and Mei had been doing.

He tossed the notion away as soon as he thought about it. Confirmation that it seemed to be a normal occurrence now aside- Wukong genuinely felt… almost afraid to find out what the motions meant. What he had missed.

…How the people he’d trusted might’ve been wrong.

Wukong turned back over so that he was on his stomach, his head face down into the couch cushions. His hand briefly skimmed the surface of the side of the couch, and he practically bit his tongue resisting the urge to do that again-

…Except it didn’t really matter, did it?

He paused.

The repetitive actions of Mei and MK, out on full view in the middle of the street, were deemed acceptable by modern society. Plus, there was no-one in here with him at the current moment, right? Nobody to get annoyed by his repetitive motions. He could do whatever he wanted. Without consequences.

Without consequences.

Tentatively, Wukong let his hand brush over the side of the couch again. And again. And- again. Speeding up slightly, to get m o r e of the sensation, before slowing down once his hand got tired, going back up in speed once his hand no longer felt like it was going to fall off.

Something about the- the texture, the repeated action of brushing up against it felt- almost soothing? Relaxing. Wukong could feel his muscles untense as he got lost in the sensation.

So lost, in fact, that he barely even noticed the time passing, until MK’s voice calling his name made him startle hard enough to fall off the couch.

Almost instantly the sound of running feet approaching him reached his ears, and he barely managed to pull himself off the ground and into a standing position before MK was stumbling into the living room, barely managing to stop himself from crashing into a wall due to the speed he had built up.

“Ah- hey bud!” Wukong lifted the hand he hadn’t been using to give MK a lil wave. His other hand still felt… tingly, almost incriminating, and he hid it behind his back, hoping the kid wouldn’t notice anything off. “Back to finally do some training today?”

MK, for his part, looked somewhat guilty.

“Sorry- were you napping? I didn’t mean to wake you up.” MK shifted nervously back and forth, rocking on his feet.

Wukong subconsciously found himself mimicking the rocking motion, before he just as quickly stopped himself, glancing off to the side. He’d found himself slipping into rocking motions around the kid before, and stopped them without pause, but now that he was thinking more about it, he felt almost… self-conscious? Maybe. That kind of seemed like the best word for it. Ashamed was another one, but he didn’t want to think about it like that too much…

Shaking those thoughts out of his mind, ignoring MK’s confused and concerned expression, he decided to focus in on the kid’s question.

“Napping? Uh-” He was about to deny it, before thinking better of it. Napping certainly was a better excuse as to why he had spent so much time on the couch to the point that it probably had left a decent mark on his face that the kid had picked up on, a far better excuse than what he had actually been doing. “Yeah, I uh, woke up pretty early this morning to deal with some… issue or other that the lil monkey’s had. I was just catching up on the extra sleep before you came back!!”

It seemed like a decent excuse. It was a perfectly reasonable scenario, in Wukong’s opinion.

But for some reason, MK still looked at him with doubt. Wukong, for some reason feeling like the kid could see right through him, glanced off to the side again, hoping he wasn’t being as obvious as he felt he was, the nervous energy growing in his chest and slowly extending it’s reaching fingers into his limbs.

“Are you o-” MK started, and Wukong instinctively reached back to grab hold of his tail as soon as it started swishing. There was barely a pause as MK quickly, and suddenly, switched gears. “Okay, I’ve been ignoring this for like, a while but why do you keep doing that?”

“Doing what?” Had he done something wrong?

“Grabbing hold of your tail whenever it starts swishing like that.” MK clarified, and Wukong winced, letting go of his tail immediately- swapping out the action instead for doing his best to remain perfectly still, almost biting the inside of his cheek as unease and a sense of just… generally being uncomfortable took hold of his body. MK’s eyes narrowed. “You’re hiding something. Again.”

“What?! No. I uh- I… only just woke up?” Okay, even Wukong knew that was a lousy excuse, wincing even as he said it, feeling a nervous smile starting to form on his face, actually drawing a small amount of blood from how hard he was biting his cheek in an attempt to prevent the nervous smirk he knew would appear from growing.

MK didn’t even bother to dignify him with a response, instead simply raising an eyebrow, just… staring. It took everything in Wukong’s power to not shift his feet nervously. He just knew the kid had picked up that look from Pigsy, somehow. It had just as much power on MK as it did on the respected pig demon. As in; a lot of power.

He only barely managed to hold out for half a minute before he caved in.

“I just-” Wukong started, then paused, thinking. How was he even going to explain this? Where should he even begin? From the point he first saw MK doing the motions? But that would require explaining his thoughts and- what if the kid got hurt by it? Wukong still wasn’t sure on the- specifics and everything, but it was obvious that it was considered a normal thing, and if he revealed he had thought it was bad, well- that’d- that’d definitely hurt the kid, right? Wukong didn’t want that. So how should he start then?

MK was still rocking back and forth on his feet, awaiting Wukong’s explanation. He had to say something. But where would he even begin???

“I… I followed you back into the city during the attack today.” He chose to begin there, hesitantly. “Um, and I stuck around for a little bit after Jin and Yin ran off- oh! You do know that I’ve been slowly making the seal less powerful right, your invulnerability is slowly returning to you, the others don’t need to be as worried about possible injuries as they are-”

“I kinda figured that out on my own, Monkey King.” MK said, calmly, almost gently in a way that made Wukong want to flinch. “It’s kinda hard to not notice when I don’t take any damage from a 3 story fall other than a small bruise on my elbow. But that’s not what you wanted to tell me, is it?”

No. It’s not. But in fact, he’d rather not tell MK about any of this at all.

But he’d been trying to communicate better with MK and the other’s lately. It had been insisted upon near a hundred times that in order for trust to be achieved they had to actually talk to each other, and tell the others when something important was happening-

Or when they needed help.

Wukong let out a breath.

“Okay. Okay okay. So- followed you back to the city. Not a lie.” He clarified, “But it- wasn’t because of the attack. It’s- I was worried.”

“Worried about what?” MK stood a little straighter, his rocking stopping as he gave Wukong his full attention. “Did something happen?”

“No- well- not anything- important, it’s- I.” Wukong ran his hand through his hair, pushing it away from his face as he tried to figure out how best to phrase what he was going to say without offending the kid. “When… When I was younger. I used to do these… motions. And- I was. Taught? Told. I was told that these motions were… not good.”

MK slowly nodded, seemingly following, but still confused as to how this related back to the situation at hand. Wukong sighed.

“And, this morning, I saw you doing those same motions, and-”

“Oh.”

“-and I got worried that you picked that up from me-”

“Oh.”

“-So I followed you to the city, and I saw Mei join in with you, and I thought she was making fun of you, but she wasn’t-”

“Monkey King-”

“-and the others didn’t seem to mind, and everyone was acting like it was normal, and- I know that I’ve been gone from society for a long time, which means it probably is normal now, and I was just being stupid for worrying about it-”

“Sun Wukong.”

Wukong froze, looking up, not having realized until that moment that he had started curling into himself. MK very rarely used Wukong’s name, usually reserving it for moments of utmost importance. (And the occasional call out, but those were also, in fact, usually important. The only time it wasn’t from what Wukong could recall was when the kid had called him out on his stagefright, but that was more of a statement of all his titles, really, so he didn’t count it).

MK looked deadly serious.

“Monkey King, do you not know what stimming is?”

“...Swimming?”

“No, stimming.”

“I…no?”

MK inhaled sharply.

“But- you’re- you so obviously-” He stumbled over his own words for a moment, before pausing, marching forwards and grabbing hold of Wukong’s hands. “Have you been resisting doing the- motions?”

“...Yes?”

“How?”

The word was spoken with a sense of urgency, and Wukong immediately had the sense that his answer wasn’t going to make MK happy.

After a few moments of silence, MK’s grip on Wukong’s hands tightened.

“How, Monkey King.”

Wukong allowed himself just a few seconds more of hesitation, of delaying the inevitable.

“...Biting my cheek, sometimes.” He muttered, “Most often that’s it- or some other form of mild pain, ‘s usually enough to make the feeling go away. Biting my cheek is just the one people are less likely to notice. …Let me tell you though, blood tastes awful, I have no idea how vampires put up with it-”

“I’m taking you to see Mr. Tang.”

“You- what?” Wukong didn’t even get an instant to process, as the next thing he knew, MK was using his grip on Wukong’s hands to drag him out of the house. “MK-”

“We’re going to go see Tang, and that’s final.” MK summoned the staff, glancing back at Wukong. “Are you going to cooperate and come on your own free will, or am I gonna have to drag you to the Noodle Shop?”

Wukong considered the idea of running away from this situation for just a second too long.

Next thing he knew, MK had shifted his weight, as well as his grip on Wukong’s and was using the staff to vault into the air.

They landed in front of the Noodle Shop with enough force to crack concrete. Wukong stumbled as MK let go of his hand, taking a moment to regain his balance (it had been a while since he vaulted with the staff, sue him), and MK gave him the briefest of moments to recollect himself before he was pushing Wukong into the building.

Thankfully, it seemed like it was currently a slow business hour, as the only other people in the Noodle Shop were Tang, and, of course, Pigsy. MK directed Wukong to a chair.

“Sit.” He said, not really giving the monkey much of a choice as he pushed down on his shoulders, forcing him into the chair. “Stay.”

“I’m not a dog, kid.” Wukong mumbled, but obeyed the request anyways, crossing one leg over the other and looking out the window at the people passing by outside as MK rushed over to whisper… something to Tang. A pair of chopsticks slipped out of Tang’s hand as the man froze in shock, and Wukong’s ear twitched as they clanged against the table. He could make a guess that MK was simply telling Tang what Wukong had told him, and he only barely repressed the shudder going down his spine. It was fine. This was fine. It was bound to happen anyways after telling MK, that was the point of this, being open about these things meant being open with all of them.

A bowl of sliced peaches slid it’s way in front of him, and Wukong wished he could say he didn’t jump at it’s appearance. Pigsy didn’t say anything, instead simply nudging the bowl slightly closer to him again, before turning back around and refocusing on cleaning some dishes left over from the lunch hour. Wukong stared at the bowl with a blank mind for a few seconds, before he slowly took a piece and started nibbling on it.

MK and Tang were still talking.

…Wukong could just leave, right now.

There was nothing keeping him here, no magic spell. He could just go back to the mountain, avoid the other’s questions, and maybe, in a week, they’d all forget about it.

…But these peaches were really good. (He’d have to ask, later, where Pigsy had bought them from). And, well, he knew better. The others would never let something like this just… drop. He knew that from experience. The last time he had tried to hide away, Mei had quite literally broken a hole through the wall of the safehouse he’d been hiding in. He still hadn’t bothered to fix it, instead just using a magic placeholder to make it seem like it’d been fixed. Now that he thought about it, he should probably get around to fixing that up eventually-

A tap on his shoulder broke him out of his thoughts, and he very nearly choked on the peach slice he’d been eating. He coughed for a moment, catching his breath, before turning in his seat to find MK and Tang standing behind him. When had they moved? Wukong hadn’t even noticed. This whole thing must’ve been bothering him more than he had thought if it had shot his concentration like this.

“So.” Tang said, “MK tells me you need my help.”

“Wha- psh, help? Please. I don’t need help.” Wukong wasn’t sure why MK thought that he needed help from Tang of all people. He’d already figured out that his thought process had most likely been wrong, and he’d already corrected himself. Simple. Easy. There wasn’t anything else to do.

…Was there?

MK had seemed very concerned by Wukong avoiding doing the motions…

But that was fine, right? He’d already kinda started on that, he had allowed himself that little couch thing, earlier- he didn’t really want to tell MK about that, considering how deeply he had lost himself in it, but maybe if he did MK would realize that he didn’t need any help? Surely they were making a big deal out of nothing, or something.

His tail started swishing back and forth again, and subconsciously Wukong reached out with his hand to stop it, before freezing in the middle of the action. MK had only called him out on this whole thing earlier because he had stopped his tail from swishing. Maybe he should just… let it happen instead?

He let his hand drop back to the side, allowing his tail to continue to swish, hoping that he didn’t look as self-conscious about it as he felt. He was fairly sure he didn’t, but something must’ve been showing on his face, as MK made a sort of ‘Do You See What I’m Talking About’ gesture in his general direction, and Tang made a nod of confirmation. Trying to ignore how kinda-uncomfortable this was making him feel, Wukong turned back around to put another peach slice in his mouth.

There was some rustling behind him, and his ear twitched, but he did his best to ignore it, for a while. Just, giving himself a bit of time to mentally prepare himself.

And then there was a metal clang, and Wukong spun around out of both concern and curiosity-

“Okay, how on Earth did you manage this.” Wukong deadpanned. The other tables and chairs in the Noodle Shop had all been shoved to one side, leaving a large open space, just the perfect size for Tang to have set up a projector screen, as well as the projector itself. A quick glance to the side showed that the Noodle Shop’s sign had been flipped from ‘Open!’ to ‘Closed’. “Literally- I don’t think even 3 minutes passed just now, how did you do this.”

“This isn’t the first time I’ve needed to do this.” Tang said, pulling out a laser pointer from… somewhere, about to click it on, before glancing back at Wukong and, seeming to think better of it, tossed the laser pointer over his shoulder (Wukong swore he didn’t hear it hit the ground, where the fuck did it go-), and pulling out a ruler instead (okay, there was no way he had been hiding THAT in a pocket, why did no one else think this was weird?). MK pulled up a chair next to Wukong and sat down beside him. Wukong spared him a glance, and upon seeing how the kid was focused on Tang, turned back to look at what seemed to be his impromptu teacher for the day. The projector flicked on, and Tang lightly tapped his ruler against the screen. “So, first of all, it seems we’re going to need to start from the beginning with what stimming is-”

Wukong sighed as he finally collapsed onto his couch again. Tang’s presentation about stimming had taken just about three hours. Thankfully, MK seemed to be fine with missing one day of training, as Wukong genuinely didn’t think he had the energy left in him to go over fighting techniques, and he especially no longer had the energy to have a half decent spar.

Laying on his back, he stared up at the ceiling, slowly letting the information settle into his brain.

Okay. So. the motions- stimming, stimming wasn’t a bad thing. And, apparently, preventing himself from stimming was bad for him. (The others had been wrong, his friends, his family, they’d been wrong……. Would they have reacted differently, had they known all the information provided in Tang’s powerpoint? …He didn’t want to think about it too much).

Tang had also gone over multiple different kinds of stimming. Some of them Wukong had already known about, he’d used to do them all the time after all, while some were newer to him. (Apparently Macaque’s habit of chewing on his scarf counted as a stim? Wukong had simply assumed he’d done it out of pure habit, or as a replacement for chewing gum).

Letting out another, heavier, sigh, Wukong held his hands up in front of his face, studying them. Slowly sitting up, he started shaking and flapping his hands, mimicking the stimming he’d seen MK and Mei do earlier, memories of doing the same thing in the past appearing in his mind.

It felt…nice. Calming, almost. But it was also tiring, like it took effort to do, not as natural as breathing as he remembered it being, or how MK and Mei had made it look.

Not to mention the looming sense of tingles in a circle around his head.

He stopped, instead moving his hands to gently trace around his head, trying to soothe the feeling, before flopping backwards to be laying down again, feeling slightly drained from the effort, but still like there was a bit of restlessness that needed to be let out, after putting up with the emotional strain of the day. He couldn’t think of anything else he could attempt though-

The memories of when he had been on the couch earlier that afternoon slammed into him like a truck, and he rolled over, staring at the fabric of the couch in contemplation.

Slowly, he rubbed his hand over it, before doing the same with his other hand, deciding to use both hands for it this time. A rush of sensation flooded over his palms, and the only thing stopping him from digging his claws in to try and get more of the feeling was the knowledge that he’d end up tearing a hole in the fabric. This didn’t feel like it took nearly as much energy as the hand-shakey one did.

Soon, he found himself getting lost in the feeling again, hardly noticing when a purr of comfort started up in his chest.

This was… wonderful, actually.

Maybe he could try some other stims, see what stuck, maybe see if he could bring his old ones back, tomorrow.

…Right now though, just rubbing his hands back and forth against the fabric was more than enough.

Baby steps.

#Monkie Kid #fanfic #my writing #autistic Wukong my beloved

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