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hyunverse · 2 months

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wherever you are ☆ hwang hyunjin.

hyunjin x fem!reader. childhood best friends to lovers. slowburn, pining. fluff, angst. suggestive. a hyunjin birthday special.

wc: 12.9k words.

warnings: reader often referred to as "girl," suggestive. mentions of sex.

note: this fic is my baby. it might be one of my favourite things i've ever written so far, please treat it well <3 feedbacks are very much appreciated.

playlist.

Hyunjin promised you that he'll be wherever you are. What do you do when your best friend of years — the only person you've ever loved disappears without saying goodbye? Especially when you've spent your entire life with Hyunjin, you didn't know of life without him.

one.

“Happy Birthday, Hyunjin.”

It was Hyunjin’s 10th birthday.

Despite already singing him a happy birthday song, you muttered the wish once again in the comfort of his tree house. He sat adjacent to you, feet dangling over the platform, the large leaves hovering over the tree house’s roof providing shelter from the blinding sunlight.

He hummed in gratitude, eyes busy watching Kkami running around below the tree house. Afternoons with Hyunjin were often spent like this — hanging out in the tree house as Kkami played around on the grass, its barks mirroring its happiness. For years, you’ve spent enjoying the fact that your afternoons were spent like this — were spent with Hyunjin, in childish innocence.

After letting the silence take over for a while, Hyunjin turned his head towards you, a little surprised once he saw that you were already looking at him. He tried his best to not let his surprise show.

“Why did you want to come up here? I thought you were enjoying the party inside.”

Indeed, you were enjoying the birthday party, a little too much for Hyunjin’s liking. The boys from Hyunjin’s school came to the party, and you seemed to get along with them quickly, despite being the only girl at the party. Hyunjin hates to admit it but he was a little envious. He told himself that he’s jealous because he’s your number one best friend, so you should pay more attention to him. It was true, but only partially — he was jealous because they were all boys. Not that he would ever admit that to himself.

To Hyunjin’s question, you responded by extending your arms to him, revealing a white box in your palm. He took it, quickly recognizing it as a jewellery box. He’s received one of them after purchasing a Mother’s Day gift. Quietly, he examined the engravings on the box, and the pristine look of it. Honestly, he was impressed by how clean you have kept it. You had always been one to dirty your white clothes.

“What’s this?” he asked, answering his own enquiry by opening the box with you sitting close, peering over his hands.

Hyunjin’s heart skipped a beat.

In the box laid two necklaces, black strings with Lego pieces as pendants. They were matching necklaces. The Lego piece of each necklace formed a heart when joined together. His brown eyes widened, in disbelief of the gift. He’s never received something like this — something matching. It made his heart flutter — no, it beat faster than it does while playing soccer. Hyunjin turned to look into your eyes, and it was as though he had found a new revelation in yours. The more Hyunjin looked at you, the more the realization seeped in, until it overtook his senses.

You’re a girl.

You weren’t just the kid from next door, you weren’t like his other friends — you’re a girl. You like Disney princesses, you have a pretty face, you like Sanrio characters, you have soft hair, you like painting nails, you have pink lips from your strawberry lip balm, you like matching necklaces — you’re a girl.

A very pretty girl.

It felt like a revelation after having been friends with you for over five years. As though the necklaces in the box held some sort of power to snap one from a trance. Hyunjin realized that you were different from his other friends. For one, you have softer hands. Moreover, you’re someone he can develop a crush on — or whatever girls call it.

His finger traced the pendants, feeling the bumps of the Lego pieces. He smiled, one that reached his ears. You felt yourself releasing the breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

“I love it soooo much. Thank you.”

Unlike other boys (the stinky ones from your school), Hyunjin didn’t cringe at the gift. The way he gently examined the necklaces mirrored the appreciation he felt towards it. If he was any other boy, he would’ve probably laughed at the gift, then poked fun at you.

Then again, Hyunjin had never been like the other boys you knew.

He was different in the way he spoke softly to you (softer than he would to his guy friends), and how he would let you change the TV channel from Snoopy to Totally Spies. He had always been different, that being the reason why you were so fond of him.

“You like it? Really?” you queried, staring at him. You watched his expressions carefully, trying to sense for any lies.

“Really! Which one do you want?” he answered, absolutely no hesitations. He wasn’t lying.

Hyunjin panned the box towards you, prompting you to pick which necklace. One was in black, the other in white. As always, he gave in to you, letting you be the one to choose.

“White!”

The sun was setting when you both swayed your legs, wearing the matching necklaces. Hyunjin was genuinely happy, one of his hands wouldn’t stop fiddling with the pendant. The party was still lively inside, but he much preferred sitting with you — his one and only best friend.

“Yn,” your best friend’s voice broke you from your trance. “What do you want for your birthday?”

“Hm,” you pondered, tapping your pointer on your chin in a cartoonish manner.

He was looking at you, an expectant expression on his face. You pulled up your legs to cross them as you thought.

“I think…” your voice trailed, “I want to be the best ballerina in the world and move to Paris!”

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, “at least make it something I could give you!”

You pouted, “but that’s what I want!”

The boy sighed, laying back on the rough surface of the tree house. He looked up, observing the little glow-in-the-dark stars plastered onto the tree house ceiling. He recalled putting them up with you. You were impossible to deal with. Hyunjin desperately wanted to know your wish — something he could give you for your birthday. Your gift to him made him really happy, and he wished to return the favour.

“Then, I’ll be the best artist in the world and move to Paris with you.”

It was such an innocent, child-like answer — straight from a 10-year-old’s desire. Untainted by the boulevard of broken dreams. As if anything in the world was possible, and that the universe was kind all the time.

“Really?” you chirped, looking at him with disbelief in your eyes. You giggled in glee and plopped yourself down beside him. “Really really? You really really really mean it, Hyunnie?”

At that point, Hyunjin could only giggle and nod. “Of course! I’ll be wherever you are.”

The manner in which you hugged him expressed your excitement. You were practically suffocating him, wrapping your legs around his waist and squeezing tightly.

“You’re my best friend in the world!”

Hyunjin felt like he could die.

His heart continued beating rapidly, worsened by you nuzzling your face into his neck. Hyunjin knew, it was just you being your usual self. However, the revelation he experienced minutes earlier made the tips of his ears turn red.

“Hyunjin! Come down here! Your friends are about to leave!”

At that very moment, Hyunjin silently thanked his mother for saving him.

two.

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

A question which had you staring into space — the walls of Hyunjin’s bedroom for a while. The blue walls were plastered with posters of numerous musicians and self-made artworks.

It wasn’t that you didn’t know the answer. You knew. Ballet had been a part of your life since small, it was your everything. It wasn’t that you were unsure if you wanted to do ballet, you were unsure if you should be doing ballet.

Uneasiness settled into your stomach, but you tried to keep them in. You were in no mood to be going through an identity crisis.

“Ballerina,” you stated, matter-of-factly. Your eyebrows furrowed when Hyunjin chuckled.

“What?”

“Your answer hasn’t changed,” Hyunjin laughed, but not in a humorous way. Rather, it was in an expectant way, as if he knew that’s what you would answer.

You straightened your posture and tilted your head. Hyunjin laughed even more, making a comment that you looked like Kkami.

“Have you asked me the same thing before?”

He nodded, “sort of? Kind of. On my tenth birthday, I asked you what you wanted.” Hyunjin cleared his throat and took a deep breath, mimicking the voice of younger you. “I want to be the best ballerina in the world and move to Paris!”

“Oh, shut up!” you rumbled, hitting him with his bolster repeatedly. “That’s not how I sounded like!”

“It so was!”

Truthfully, you couldn’t quite recall the memory. You didn’t doubt Hyunjin though, it did sound like something you would’ve said.

You queried again.

“What did you answer then?”

Hyunjin turned silent. He didn’t like where this was going, not fond of recalling the cheesy answer he gave you. As he looked away from your gaze, you pressed him further. Even threatened to dog-nap Kkami.

“Fine. I said… I said I’ll be the best artist in the world and move to Paris too…” his voice trailed, getting smaller, “said I’ll be wherever you are…”

Your eyebrows raised, scooting closer to him in mock confusion. “Sorry? Didn’t hear you.”

A pillow hit your head, and you burst out into peals of laughter. It was hilarious, the cheesy answer little Hyunjin gave, but what amused you even more was his face turning red.

Touches of laughter echoed in the room, and Hyunjin found himself praying the moment would last forever. The conversation quickly escalated into a pillow fight, ending up in Hyunjin leaning against his headboard, exhausted, and you laying on his lap.

You looked up at him, eyes fleeting to the stubble growing. Mindlessly, you grazed his cheek, feeling his sideburns prickling against your thumb.

He was growing, you realized it then. You were growing too. Neither of you were little kids anymore.

A fact you didn't want to accept.

It’s the softness of your fingers that froze Hyunjin in his tracks. He held his breath, as if you would stop if he moved. He didn’t want you to, wanted to let your fingers linger, to etch the sensation into his memories.

In a soft tone, you spoke, “Did you really mean it?”

“Hm?”

“Would you be wherever I am?”

Hyunjin’s breath hitched, a lump growing in his throat. If he spoke, he feared his feelings would become too real. For as long as he could, he wanted to bury his feelings deep down. Life was already risky as it is, he didn’t want to take any more.

It’s platonic. It’s platonic. It’s platonic.

They repeated in his brain like a mantra. Maybe if he chanted it, it’ll manifest to life.

“Yeah,” Hyunjin swallowed, “of course I will. You’re my best friend.”

Like magic, your worries about the future disappeared into thin air. Would it be foolish to trust Hyunjin so much, that you believed life would be fine as long as he was with you?

Dear universe, be good to me.

You smiled, one that Hyunjin swore could light up the entire sky. The stars must envy you, for the way you could brighten up darkness effortlessly.

“I’ll be wherever you are too.”

Yeah, Hyunjin would love it if time froze.

three.

Don’t be a coward.

Four words Hyunjin told his reflection as he got ready. He was dressed in a basic tee and a pair of jeans, hair slicked back like the one time you told him it looked good. He spritzed his cologne behind his ears, on his neck, and on his wrist before repeating the four words again. This time, he whispered it, letting it soak into his brain, in hopes his heart would have courage.

It’s been too long. The feelings he harboured for you piled overtime, the crush he once thought was temporary transforming into fondness. It was becoming too much for Hyunjin’s heart to bear, he needed to let it out. If he didn’t, he felt like his heart could burst. And if it did, it would be confetti-shaped memories of you.

Chatters echoed outside your ballet academy, Hyunjin watched through the lowered window for your face among the sea of people. He had a plan in mind — he’d open the door for you, put the seatbelt on for you, and tell you about his feelings. In front of your academy wasn’t the most ideal place for a confession, he knew, but God — he couldn’t bear sitting in silence with you as a storm raged in his head. He couldn’t do it. He wanted to say it as soon as he could.

Hyunjin’s eyes were still busy looking for you when suddenly, your face came in his peripheral vision, along with another face. The other person was lean, jet black hair with bangs and puppy-like eyes. The boy opened the door for you before Hyunjin could.

Okay, step number one failed.

“Hey, Hyunnie!” your voice chirped, getting into the car. Your hand moved to buckle your seatbelt before Hyunjin could. He was too busy analysing the stranger in front of the door.

“Hey,” Hyunjin replied nonchalantly, looking at the boy from head to toe. “And this is…?”

“Seungmin. And you?” the boy said, tilting his head. To Hyunjin, he was being challenged. Seungmin’s tone was more daring than he liked, so he felt an urge to one-up the guy.

“Hyunjin. Been friends with Yn since were in diapers.” he replied, the extra detail a pathetic attempt at one-upping Seungmin.

Seungmin furrowed his eyebrows, nodding as he shut your door, “Uh. Cool? Bye, Yn. And the friend since diapers.”

Oh, Hyunjin really didn’t like him.

“Wait, Seungminnie!” you called out just as Seungmin was walking away. He looked back at the car, raising an eyebrow. You turned to Hyunjin with puppy eyes. “Can you give Seungminnie a ride? He takes the bus and I think the next one’s in an hour.”

Hyunjin clenched his jaw, eyes fluttering from your pleading eyes to Seungmin’s figure outside the car. If it was all up to him, he would probably run the guy over. But God knew how much he cherished you, how he would rather cut his tongue than tell you “no,” so he agreed.

“Mm. Sure,” he replied, swallowing back a scoff.

Your eyes brightened, “Seungminnie! Come, we’ll give you a ride!” you yelled, tempting Hyunjin to mock the nickname you’d given him.

It was going to be a car ride straight out of hell.

Hyunjin’s knuckles were white against the steering as he pulled up to Seungmin’s residence complex. The building standing in front of him definitely belonged in a gated community, ritzy and luxurious. Somehow, that pissed Hyunjin off even more. He glanced at the unwanted guest sitting in the back seat through the rear-view mirror.

“Want me to drive you to the lobby, or what?”

Seungmin looked back into the mirror, peering at the reflection through his bangs. “Nah. They don’t let random cars in. Here’s just fine,” he mumbled, unbuckling the seatbelt. “Thanks, dude. Appreciate it.”

The car door closed behind Seungmin, leaving the two of you in the car. Hyunjin sighed, feeling the nerves creeping up him again. Now that it was only the two of you, it was time for Hyunjin to confess his feelings.

Before he could, you spoke, “Seungmin’s my friend in the academy. He’s really smart,” your eyes didn’t leave the crossroad before you, watching as Seungmin walked.

Hyunjin had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. He tapped on your thigh, trying to gain your attention. It worked as you looked at him, batting your eyelashes. “Hm?”

He licked his lower lip, mustering all the courage in him. It was now, or never. “Look, I have something to tell you.”

“Yeah?”

You shuffled in your seat, tilting your body slightly towards his way. Now that you had your full attention on him, Hyunjin felt even more nervous. He scratched the skin around his thumb, tongue-tied as his brain tried to form coherent words. He’s never done this before, always made fun of his friends for struggling to express their feelings but now that he was in the same place, he wished he could take back all the insults. The brown eyes looking deeply (and anxiously) into yours were profusely blinking, as though he was at the brink of tears. You grew worried.

“Hyunjin, what’s up?”

He scratched at the back of his neck. Why did his tongue feel so numb? Why did his brain feel empty yet so full at the same time? His heartbeats were so fast, he couldn’t quite catch up. Hyunjin was on a rollercoaster — you were waiting at the end of the ride.

Finally, he managed to muster words. “Look, I’ve pondered over —”

Two knocks on the window at the back. They’re followed by the door opening, an exasperated Seungmin popping his head into the car. Immediately, you both looked back, utterly bewildered.

“Sorry. I left my bag. Thank God you’re still here,” Seungmin said, grabbing his messenger bag and slipping it onto his shoulder. “Thanks and sorry!”

The door closed, thus silence blanketed the atmosphere once again. This time, with unresolved tension. You looked back at Hyunjin, tilting your head in curiosity.

“You were saying?”

Dazed, the raven looked at you. His face was a mixture of exasperation and confusion. His head? There was a storm raging, along with curse words aimed at Seungmin.

“Um…” He licked his lower lip, racking his brain to find back the words he wanted to say. They were all lost. He was already at the end of the rollercoaster, the bumps along the way forgotten, and the thrill subsided. All that’s left was the remnants of anxiety. He couldn’t do it anymore, not when he’s forgotten the things he wanted to say, and the moment disturbed by your dear friend Seungmin.

So, he put the gear on to drive. He shook his head and made up a white lie.

“I think I want to try a new ice cream place today.”

four.

The taste of cookies and cream could not beat the bitterness on Hyunjin’s tongue.

It may be because the bitterness has seeped into his head.

“I’m going to your room,” you announced, swinging the front door of his house open. “Hi, Mrs Hwang!” you cheered, running up the stairs after.

“I’m going to talk to my mom a little bit,” Hyunjin said, hanging both your coats on the coat hanger.

Nothing could’ve prepared Hyunjin for what was to happen next.

Both his parents were crowding the kitchen countertop when he walked in, skimming through a piece of paper. They were beaming, eyes crinkled as they smiled. A reminder that Hyunjin resembled both his parents. He blinked in confusion as to why his parents looked so happy. He didn’t think he'd seen them this happy before.

“What’s going on?” he questioned, peering over their figures to look at the paper.

On the paper were words he’d only seen in his dreams. Never in a million years he would’ve thought it’d manifest to life. His heart skipped a beat as he read the words over, and over.

“You made it, sweetheart,” his mother’s soft voice spoke, confirming his suspicion. “You got accepted. Beaux-Arts de Paris.”

“Eomma,” he mumbled, as if he was pleading. Pleading for this dream to stop. Somebody’s got to wake him up from this nightmare of a day. “There’s no way.”

Hyunjin picked up the letter, inspecting it closer. As though if he looked any closer, the words on the pristine white paper would change. Reject him. Or maybe, the logo of the prestigious school would magically transform into a logo of a school in Seoul. Anything, anything, that would keep him here. In Seoul. With you.

“You did it, sweetheart. Your dreams are coming true,” his mother keenly said, pulling him into a side hug. “I’m so proud of you.”

His dream? It was his dream, and, yours. No, scratch that — it wasn’t truly his dream. It was yours. His dream had always been to be wherever you are.

He didn’t think he would be accepted. When you told him you were rejected from the Paris Ballet School, he told you that he was rejected, too. He didn’t tell you that he was waitlisted, under the impression that he was never getting out of the waitlist. What was he to tell you now?

Hyunjin hid his sadness, wanting to make his parents proud, “Yeah. I did it. I’m so happy, eomma, appa.”

A series of praises left his parents, and he allowed for them to engulf him in a hug.

“Don’t tell Yn, ‘kay?” he muttered, before excusing himself to go upstairs. The acceptance letter was neatly folded, tucked into his pocket.

When he swung his bedroom door open, you were standing in front of his full-length mirror. Clad in only his t-shirt, you inspected yourself.

“Hey, Hwang Hyunjin,” you muttered, turning your body. “Your clothes are bigger than me now. You used to be so small.”

You looked at him, mock dismay in your face. “I was so much taller than you before. You were a dwarf.”

How was he meant to tell you about Paris?

“I was never a dwarf. You were just too busy looking down on me.”

Giggles left both of you. Silently, he observed the way you were examining yourself. You had the mannerisms of a ballerina, each gesture as gracious as your dance. Hyunjin adored the curves of your body, but God knew he loved that of your smile even more.

Later, you were both laying on his bed, you in a starfish position. Hyunjin was at the edge of his bed, trying his best to not fall.

“Ballet was so hard today,” you sighed. You turned your body sideways, burying your face into Hyunjin’s chest. He could smell you in this closeness.

“Are you wearing my deodorant?” he queried, bowing to clasp his nose onto your shoulder. It felt like a kiss to him. “This is literally the smell of my deodorant.”

You shrugged. “Yeah? What about it? You should’ve gotten used to me taking your things by now, Hwang Hyunjin. I’ve been doing this our whole lives.”

Touché. The boy sighed, letting you fill in the silence with your babbles. Wordlessly, he listened to your words, letting it be the white noise to his thoughts.

His head was clearly not there. Unbeknownst to him, you knew of this. He’d been off all day. You’ve picked up on each signal, knowing him like the back of your hand. As much as you wanted to know what was wrong, you knew not to pry. You resorted to comfort instead.

Your fingertips met at the back of his neck, pulling him into a tight hug. He was never one for physical touch but sometimes, it helped. You leaned your head into his neck.

Gingerly, you whispered the words you thought he would need.

“You’re always here, around me. You don’t know how much that means to me.”

The exact words he did not need to hear that day.

How was he meant to tell you of his feelings now?

Especially when he was leaving — oceans away.

five.

Hyunjin had always loved soccer.

Whether it be being in the bleachers, or playing in the field. He loved doing both. There was something about the thrill of watching people play, and the adrenaline as he chased around the field.

Sitting in the bleachers, Hyunjin watched as his soccer team played. The sounds of his teammates laughing made the blazing sun a little more bearable. He lowered his cap to prevent the sunlight from getting in his eyes, chuckling when he saw Beomgyu falling face-first onto the grass.

He loved his soccer team. Every time he observed them play, Hyunjin’s heart always got overwhelmed with pride and joy. At that moment, he felt melancholy taking space too — the thought of not being able to play with them anymore hurting him more than he thought it would.

Hyunjin allowed for the melancholy to take space, allowed himself to feel — so much so that he didn’t feel Minho’s presence. Not until the older cleared his throat.

Minho sat beside him, “Why the long face, Hwang Hyunjin?”

“Huh?” startled, he looked up, face softening when he saw Minho. “Oh. Nothing. You’re not playing?”

“Nah,” Minho replied curtly. He silently analyzed the younger’s facial expressions before speaking up again. “For someone who’s going to Paris in two weeks, you sure don’t look too happy.”

Of course, Minho out of all people would notice the change in his mannerisms. Always the analyzing one, quick to notice changes in demeanour. There was no point in lying, not with Minho — so he let out the sigh he didn’t realize he was holding.

“It’s bittersweet, you know?” he mumbled, fiddling with his fingers.

“It’s Yn, isn’t it?”

“Huh?”

“You don’t want to part ways with her. It’s what’s holding you back.”

Right on. It was as though Minho was a mind-reader. A heavy weight pulled on Hyunjin’s heartstrings, made his heart even heavier than a few minutes prior.

“Yeah,” he didn’t lie, again. He looked at Minho, and the older could clearly see the uneasiness written all over his face. “If you were me… would you tell her about your feelings?”

“The fact that you like her?”

“Yeah.”

Minho fell silent. He pondered over the question, looking at the sight before him. The sun was setting, orange hues painting the sky. Hyunjin wondered if Paris sunsets would look the same.

“I think…” Minho turned towards the younger. He shook his head. “I wouldn’t tell her.”

“Why?”

“Won’t benefit you, I don’t think.” Hyunjin raised an eyebrow. “Listen. If you were to tell her, and she accepted, do you think you could get into a relationship with her?”

“I mean —”

Minho cut him, “Realistically, do you think the relationship would succeed? I mean, the time zone between Seoul and Paris is pretty big. The distance, too. I don’t think it would work out. And that’ll be bad, you know? You’ll both be left wondering what could have been.”

The truth hurt. The distance, the time — none of them were on Hyunjin’s side.

“And, if, God forbid, if she were to reject you… do you really want your last memory with her to be the hurt you’ll feel?”

Hyunjin shook his head. The other sighed, and patted him on the back.

“There are things better left unsaid. You should take her out. Spend your last time with her nicely.”

Despite Hyunjin’s stubbornness, he took Minho’s advice. It took him a lot of contemplating (and crying), but he followed it anyway. Whether he liked it or not, Minho’s advice had a lot of truth in it.

Bitter truths, but true regardless.

six.

“Where are we going?” you whined, trailing behind your dear friend. The sun was setting in two hours, orange hues were beginning to paint the sky. “Hyunnie, if you don’t tell me where we’re —”

“Please, stay patient. Will you?”

Hyunjin looked behind. He was wearing a blue knitted vest. In one hand, he held a picnic basket. The other, is your handbag. You never have to carry your own with him.

“But we’re literally in the middle of nowhere!”

“Please just trust me,” he pleaded. One hand was stretched towards you, a silent offer to hold his. “Come. If you’re too tired, I’ll give you a piggyback ride.”

Ever the opportunist, you took up on the offer. Alas, Hyunjin was left walking the remaining distance, you happily singing road trip songs while clinging onto his back. To butter him up, you told him that he must’ve been a blessing sent to you by God. Although he groaned at the remark, you couldn’t see the small smile on his face.

After a few minutes, you understood why Hyunjin was adamant about going out that day. Before you, green plains stretched as far as your eyes could see. Scattered across viridian shades were wildflowers. Some yellow, some pink.

Hyunjin had brought you to a flower field.

The picnic basket, and the Polaroid camera finally made sense.

Without any more words, you jumped off his back and ran into the field. The yellow sundress you wore matched that of the wildflowers. In Hyunjin’s eyes, you blended right in.

You were as pretty as the flowers.

“Careful, Yn! Don’t fall!” He called out, his voice echoing in the space. He watched you from afar. There was an urge to run among the flowers too, but he was much more content with watching you.

From a distance, in silence, he observed your every move. He couldn’t help the giggles that left his lips. The smile that lingered on his lips. He wanted this memory to last, to be ingrained in his brain forever. Soon, he wouldn’t be able to witness your happiness.

“Hyunnie, you need to come here! It’s so nice!”

Chuckling, he carefully placed the picnic basket on the ground. Hyunjin was done with setting up the picnic spot. He ran towards you, lifted you off the ground and twirled you around. You broke out into giggles and held onto his arms.

Among the flowers, two silhouettes danced with each other. Swaying to the same melody as the peonies. Despite being a ballerina, you kept stumbling onto Hyunjin’s feet, giggling each time he elicited an “ow.”

Like a scene from a movie.

Like he wasn’t going away soon.

Before the sun could set, Hyunjin convinced you to sit on the picnic blanket. He wished to dance with you longer, but alas, time awaits for no mortal.

“How do you want me to pose?” you asked. You were facing him, legs tucked sideways.

Hyunjin scooted closer to you, and wiped breadcrumbs off your lips. He commented on you eating messily. “You can pose however you want.”

You nodded, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. “Okay. Make sure you get my good angles, yeah?”

“You look good from any angle.”

Crimson crept up your face. You hadn’t expected that remark. You hoped he wouldn’t see you blush, you would just tell him it’s the sun then.

“Okay…”

Two clicks, then a flash went off. Your eyes widened, caught off-guard.

“You didn’t even count to three!”

Your whines were responded to with a giggle. The camera whirled, apprising you of a Polaroid developing. Hyunjin took it, fanning the Polaroid with a grin. He was excited to see it.

“I wasn’t ready!”

“Candid photos are better,” he sighed. “Don’t you know? Everything’s prettier when it’s genuine.”

“So you’re calling me pretty?”

“Yeah,” he mumbled. “Have I ever said you’re ugly?”

Right. He has never.

You prayed to God the heat on your face was from the sun and not from blushing.

Once the Polaroid fully developed, Hyunjin made sure he was the first to see it. To your dismay, he held it close to his face, shielding it from you. His cheeks dimpled, illustrating his happiness. You looked so pretty, the sunlight on your face giving you an angelic glow. If he looked closer, he was sure he’d see a halo.

Hyunjin wanted to keep this forever.

If he couldn’t freeze the time, he figured he’d trap the memories in photographs.

“Let me see!” you whined. “It’s a picture of me! I have the right to see it.”

Scampering towards him, you waved your hands, trying to get the photograph off his hand. To no avail, Hyunjin had quick reflexes much thanks to his soccer experience.

“No! You can’t — it’s for my eyes only!”

“Ridiculous! That’s my face, Hyunnie!”

“It’s my camera film. So it’s mine!”

Neither one of you would let up, legs entangling against each other as you fought over the photograph. He was determined to not let you even see the picture. One of your palms pressed against the picnic blanket, the other reaching up towards his hand. Hyunjin used his free hand to push you gently but alas, he underestimated his own strength. In one swift move, you lost your balance, toppling over him.

“Ow,” he fell back and winced in pain. He looked up, and all the back pain was suddenly replaced by shyness. There you were, on his lap — face just as flushed as his.

Hyunjin didn’t know what to do now.

Pathetically, he just stared into your eyes, finding himself getting caught in them. He could feel your hitched breaths against his chest, he was very aware of your trembling fingers on his arms. There was a strong urge to kiss you as his eyes fell onto your lips. He wondered how they’d feel on his lips. He imagined it in his head — missing the way your eyes stared at his lips too.

If you were a flower, Hyunjin would be a bee. He desired you, eyes tracing the shape of your lips. Over, and over. If he kissed you, would your lips taste like honey?

He ought to find out. Hesitantly, he inched his head closer to yours. The warmth of your breath against his skin marked the closeness between you.

Numerous scenarios flashed in Hyunjin’s mind. Of him kissing you senseless, then whispering a love confession in your ear. Of your cold fingers pressing into his skin as he tells you each perk of yours that he loved endlessly. The more he imagined, the closer he was. You shut your eyes, waiting for his lips to finally press onto yours.

Paris. The one-way plane ticket to Paris.

Against his heart’s desire, his fingers cupped your chin instead. Subtly, he pulled back, eyes trailing back up to your eyes. He ignored the look of confusion in your eyes.

Reaching down, he pocketed the photograph. His heart clenched as he spoke, but he did anyway.

“I win.”

The two words pulled you from your trance — they tore off your heart like paper. You blinked, watching the playful smirk that graced Hyunjin’s porcelain face.

“Oh.”

The whole journey home, bitterness sat on Hyunjin’s tongue like the aftertaste of tangerine pulp. Did you want the kiss too, or had his libido fabricated things?

Nevertheless, he couldn’t kiss you. Not when he had suitcases packed for Beaux-Art de Paris. Not when it’s all his parents could talk about.

Minho’s words played in Hyunjin’s mind like a broken record. They served as a reminder of what could not be. For the sake of his heart, he told himself that it had all been a figment of his imagination.

Tension cloaked the front door of your house. Neither of you made a noise, save for the jingling keys in your carabiner. You observed Hyunjin, who was busy looking at his shoes. Once again, his mind wasn’t in his head. It had been that way for a few weeks.

“See you soon?” you mumbled.

Hyunjin looked up, nodding at your words. He pulled you into a hug, one that almost crushed your bones. Shakingly, he nuzzled his head into your neck, burying his face into the skin like you would dissolve if he didn't. It must’ve hurt his back but you made no comment, instead you wrapped your arms around his neck, in hopes it'll give him solace. By the front door you held him, so tight that it was as though the two of you were one, the curves of his fingers burning through your skin.

You didn’t know that it was a goodbye. It had to stay that way.

Once more, his heart clenched in his chest. Two hands cupped your cheeks, as gentle as he could be, like you would break. He engraved this version of you into his memory — kind eyes boring into his with a soft smile plastered across the face he'd grown to adore. He vowed to always remember this face.

Deeply, he inhaled his breath. Preparing the next words — lies to say to you, no matter how tight his chest felt.

“Yeah, see you soon.”

The last words Hwang Hyunjin muttered to you.

seven.

One day before your birthday.

It had been two days since Hyunjin brought you to the meadow. You hadn’t seen him much, just glimpses of him as he played around with Kkami in his backyard. You figured that he was busy.

“Hello, I’m home!” you said in a sing-song voice as you stepped into the Hwang household. Kkami who’d usually greet you wasn’t in his usual spot, so you trudged straight to the kitchen, where Hyunjin’s mother was sitting. “Hi, Mrs Hwang.”

She looked up, lips twitching into a smile, a cookie-cutter of Hyunjin’s. Under the kitchen light, you don’t miss the dried tears by her eyes. You pursed your lips, wondering if she was watching a sad drama. Hyunjin inherited his trait of easily crying from his mother, after all.

“Hi, sweet girl,” she looked at your outfit from head to toe. “Why are you all dressed up?”

“Oh,” you muttered, giving her a little twirl. “My birthday outfit! Is it pretty?”

“Of course.”

You smiled at her, fiddling with the hem of your blouse. Keenly, you looked around the kitchen for any traces of Hyunjin. You realized that the house seemed much quieter than usual, emptier than normal.

“Where’s Hyunjin?” you asked. The reason why you’d come over was to show your best friend your birthday outfit. Now that you were there, he was nowhere to be seen. “Is he home?”

Sympathy materialized in the mother’s old eyes. She tilted her head at you, lips pursing as she thought of the correct words to say.

“My girl, did he not tell you?”

Confusion would be an understatement. Hyunjin told you everything, everything — from pointless thoughts to his deepest, darkest secrets. You were his secret keeper, his companion — there was nothing he wouldn’t tell you.

Was there?

It had to be something unimportant, right? Perhaps he was off to an art workshop and forgot to tell you. But looking at his mother, it felt like something big. You grew anxious under her sympathetic gaze.

“Tell me what?” you questioned, letting out a nervous chuckle.

“We just came back from Incheon Airport. He’s on a plane to Paris,” the lady replied. She stood up, inching closer towards your trembling figure. “Did he not tell you, Yn? I thought he did.”

“Paris?” you asked, blinking. “Like. For a vacation?”

“No, sweetheart. Beaux-Arts de Paris. He got into the school.”

The words felt like bullets on skin, penetrating and chagrining you deeply. It felt unreal — a hoax.

You scoffed, “What? He wouldn’t go without telling me.” Your eyes searched for humour in his mother’s eyes. “Is this like, a birthday prank?”

Her eyes saddened even more. “No, sweetheart. He really went.”

Another betrayal came in the form of tears cascading down your eyes without warning. The emotions hit you faster than your brain could process things. Speechless, you took steps back from his mother, before running up the staircase to his room.

He had to be there. Sitting in his swivel chair and laughing at your face. He’ll tell you it was a prank and wipe away your tears.

Hyunjin was your best friend of a lifetime. He wouldn’t do this to you. He had to be there.

When the door to his room swung open, a sob was knocked out of your mouth.

All traces of life in the bedroom were gone, save for the soft purrs of Kkami sleeping on the bed. The bed was stripped of its bedsheets, and the towels hanging behind the door were gone. The laundry bag was empty.

All traces of Hyunjin were gone.

The realization hit harder than his mother’s words. If the words hurt like bullets on skin, the sight of Hyunjin’s lifeless room felt like a knife twisted in your gut. It felt like sanguine dripping from wounds, and Hyunjin’s holding the knife. It felt like a betrayal.

“Hyunjin,” his name slipped from your lips like a plea. “Hyunjin.”

More choked sobs escaped your windpipes as you searched around the room. First, it was his wardrobe. The oak material was practically empty, all that remained were a couple of sleep tees and the shirts you’ve left over the years. You rummaged through the hangers, finding that he had brought one of your sweatshirts along.

The confirmation of his departure was the emptiness of his study table. Each nook and cranny of his table used to feel like Hyunjin, from the stacks of sketchbooks to eraser dust. Everything was Hyunjin — but at that moment, there was nothing. There was only a void — that of his desk and your heart.

Your best friend was truly gone.

“Hyunjin,” the name wrestled its way past your lips again. This time, it was out of longing. “Hyunjin.”

The manner in which you walked to his bed echoed your feelings. Quivering, like a toddler’s first time walking. Your body fell onto the bed, earning a soft whine from Kkami. Gently, you held Kkami in your arms, letting a stream of tears cascade down your cheeks. For the first time in a while, you allowed yourself to cry, to feel, to mourn.

If someone were to tell you that Hyunjin out of all people would make you cry that much, you would’ve laughed. Never in a million years, you’d say. The only times he had made you cry were from laughter.

“Kkami,” you cried. The chihuahua nuzzled its head into your arms, as though it could feel your sorrow. Perhaps it could. “I miss Hyunjin.”

The dog whined. It looked up to you, placing its paw onto your arm. You cried even more.

“I wanted to tell him about how I feel today,” through sobs, you managed to speak. “How could he make me feel so many things in one day and disappear the other? He didn't even say goodbye.”

It felt like the chihuahua was mourning with you — the way it nudged its head onto your arm, letting out soft whimpers. As though it was telling you that things will be okay.

You weren’t sure that it would. You spent your whole life with Hyunjin by your side, you had never known life without him. Now that he was ripped from your grasp, you didn’t know how to go on. No — he voluntarily released himself from your grasp, without warning. It was worse.

Physical traces of Hyunjin in his room were gone. There was only his scent — the smell of his shampoo, and his cologne. It lingered in the room, mocking you.

In your melancholic state of mind, you could only weep.

eight.

“Coffee, or tea?”

A female voice broke Hyunjin from his trance. He looked up at the stewardess standing by his seat, the sweatshirt doused in your scent crumpling in his tight grip.

“I want to get off this plane,” sat on his tongue and dissolved. He took a deep breath.

“Um,” he looked at the cart, “Plain water, please?”

Coffee would only force Hyunjin to stay awake, forcing him to listen to his own brain’s torments for 14 hours straight. Tea reminded him too much of you, of the times when you were little and would make him play tea party with you. He’ll think about the times you’d cheekily kiss his cheek, an attempt to woo him into playing with you. It worked each time.

The stewardess nodded, handing him a water bottle branded with the aeroplane’s logo. He muttered a thank you, yet the stewardess still didn’t walk away. She looked nice, her eyes analyzing Hyunjin told him that he must’ve looked like the epitome of a wreck.

“First time flying?” she questioned. It wasn’t his first time, having gone on many vacations before yet he nodded. “I see. It’ll be fine, just sit back and relax.”

The woman, whose name tag said Chaewon flashed Hyunjin a hospitality smile — one he didn’t think he deserved — then walked away. Hyunjin pursed his lips, wishing that she hadn’t walked away. He didn’t want to be left alone with his thoughts, he didn’t want to be awake, he didn’t want to be in this plane — there were a lot of things he didn’t want to do, but had to do.

Hyunjin wanted to turn back.

Silently, he looked out the window, watching as the landscapes of Seoul grew smaller, slowly becoming covered with clouds. He desperately wished to get out, praying to God that the plane would miraculously turn back and the tableau of Seoul would become bigger. Had he told the stewardess named Chaewon he wanted to get off, would they have let him? Had he told his parents he didn’t want to go to Paris, would they have understood?

If he tells you he’s sorry, would you forgive him?

Regrets and memories clouded his mind, tears making their way down his cheeks. Each thought strangled his heart, and he could feel it physically aching. In a melancholic state of mind he sat, clinging onto your sweatshirt like it was his lifeline, allowing slumber to slowly take over.

The break from his own thoughts did not last long enough.

Seven hours later, Hyunjin woke up to dried tears on his cheeks. He straightened his posture and glanced at the window, feeling a wave of emotions at the change of landscapes. Hyunjin wasn’t sure in which city they were flying over, but he could say with certainty that it did not look like Seoul. It did not feel like home, it did not feel like you.

Unable to fall back to sleep, he couldn’t help the thoughts that poisoned his mind. Looking over the landscapes, he came to a realization much too painful for his heart to bear.

You and him — you were the Sun, and he was the Moon. Two people of different circumstances, who’ll never meet, ripped away from the merciless hands of time. For your timezones were different — horizons even more.

As a wave of new tears descended, Hyunjin wondered if he would ever forget about you.

The answer came to him one afternoon three years later, as he laid on the couch in his Parisian apartment.

No, he’d never forget about you. At least not in three years. Maybe not even in five.

Sunlight seeped in through the balcony, providing Hyunjin the warmth he wasn’t able to receive from a person. His roommate was a French guy who was always out and about, leaving Hyunjin to soak in his own company for hours on end. Sometimes, for days. Hyunjin loved and hated it at the same time.

His limbs stretched across the burgundy couch, a yawn eliciting past his lips. Brown eyes stared at the canvas in front of him, black and white hues scattered on white, forming a half-finished painting of you.

Years later, and you remained at the back of his mind — his muse.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

nine.

There are five stages of grief.

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, then acceptance. Denial was the hardest for you, having spent your entire birthday staring at the front door of your house, praying Hyunjin would walk in. When your friends sang you a Happy Birthday, it sounded like a morose ballad playing from a broken record. Without Hyunjin, gloom sat at the centre of even the happiest things.

Then came a sixth stage — one that seemed to exist for you.

Motivation.

After coming to acceptance that your best friend had gone, without any farewell, you spent many hours a day in the ballet studio. Pirouette, arabesque, plié — you managed to polish each move with the amount of time you spent cooped up in the studio. You weren’t born with ballet feet, but the times spent in pointe shoes had somehow moulded you into having them.

Perhaps, it was distraction, disguised as motivation.

Nevertheless, the tireless hours of practice granted you a position in the Paris Ballet School.

Paris felt bittersweet when you first landed. It was the city of your dreams, but the reminiscence of the person it took from you made you loathe it.

Withal, life had to go on. To cope with the Parisian lifestyle, you managed to get a job at a cafe near your academy — Desir Cafe. You worked night shifts as a kitchen crew but if traffic was overwhelming in the afternoons, your shitty excuse of a boss would make you come in anyway.

Unfortunately for you, it was one of those days. Clinks and sizzles reverberated in the kitchen, the peg board overwhelmed with sticky notes of orders. You were everywhere in the kitchen, from piping icing on cupcakes to sprinkling chocolate rice on pastries.

“Yn,” the main baker yelled, “Tell Double C’s we can’t stock up on macarons! We’re out of almond flour!”

The Double C’s — Charlotte, and Colette. They were a duo who worked as waitresses, always gossiping. Birds of the same feather, attached by the hip.

Exasperated, you headed to the front, swinging the kitchen door open to see the duo gossiping. Charlotte was leaning in towards Colette, whispering into her ear, earning giggles from the other. You sighed, wondering what the topic was that afternoon. Curious as to who they were gossiping about, you looked towards the direction they were looking.

Seated alone at the corner of the cafe was a guy, blonde hair gleaming golden from the sunlight seeping through the big window. His utmost focus was on the sketchbook in front of him, frail fingers dancing across paper, entrancing any eyes which fell upon him. You couldn’t help but stare, your face gradually contorting into disbelief.

He resembled too much like Hyunjin — your Hyunjin.

Your gaze lingered on the man, analyzing each crease of his face, matching it with the one you had in mind. He looked just like Hyunjin, from the shape of his nose to the mole under his eye. The only difference was the hair. Hyunjin’s hair was raven black, but the person in the cafe had golden blonde hair. You felt your throat tighten. If the man sitting at the corner was him, then time had done good on him. He was beautiful, face sculptured beautifully by time’s gentle hands.

“Ooh, look who’s ogling!” a high-pitched voice interrupted you. You looked up to see the Double C’s looking at you, wiggling their eyebrows mischievously. Charlotte smirked, “Think the guy’s cute?”

“Huh? What guy?” you lied, feeling your cheeks heat up.

Colette rolled her eyes. “The dude over there! Don’t lie, you think he’s cute.” The brunette wiggled her eyebrows even more, subtly pointing at the man.

You didn’t say anything else, but your eyes travelled back to the familiar silhouette. The sense of familiarity tugged on fragile heartstrings the more you looked at him. Colette could sense your curiosity, so she parted her lips to speak.

“That’s Hyunjin. He’s a student in Beaux-Arts de Paris,” she muttered, unbeknownst to her the mixed emotions that dawned upon you. “He comes here almost every afternoon. Maybe that’s why you’ve never seen him before. He’s cute, isn’t he?”

Excitedly, Charlotte nodded her head. “A total heart-throb, honestly.”

“I mean…” your voice trailed, “He’s quite alright.”

How were you supposed to react to finally seeing the one who got away? Were you supposed to feel excited, or upset? It was like the moon had suddenly dropped down onto your lap.

You were confused.

Charlotte continued speaking, not realizing the mixture of emotions in your face. “Sometimes, the students have exhibitions about ten minutes from here. His artworks always make it to the exhibitions. I’ve seen them, and they’re really beautiful.”

You turned towards her, “Exhibitions?”

She nodded, still naive as to your shift in behaviour. “I think the school has an exhibition every three months or so.”

Unfaltering, your eyes bored holes in Hyunjin’s back. He was in his own little world, evidently absorbed in whatever piece he was working on. Just like that, the memories you spent years suppressing came rushing back.

It was unfair, the impact he had on you. There he was, lounging in a corner while your heart grappled in your chest. He looked older, better — and you were still the little girl in the tree house. Swaying your feet as they dangled, as though you had all the time in the world.

Charlotte and Colette exchanged looks as you stared at him. To them, you were simply developing a crush on a stranger. They wouldn’t understand the conflict brewing in you, they wouldn’t be able to comprehend the ache that stirred in the depths of your heart.

“What? You’re interested in him?” Charlotte spoke, breaking you off your trance. You looked at her, blinking. “Don’t even try. I’ve tried. I think he’s gay.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “What?”

“He’s not gay — oh my god, Lottie!” it was Colette’s turn to speak. Playfully, she smacked the other’s arm. “I asked that guy he’s always with, the songwriter — Felix. Cute guy, that one. Felix told me that he’s got a secret lover or something.”

“Secret lover?”

“Yeah. Apparently, he likes to draw this one girl. His sketchbook’s filled with her,” Colette murmured, glancing at Hyunjin. “Felix asked her who she was, and he said it’s a girl of his dreams.”

Your heart dropped. You weren’t sure to which news you should react first, either Charlotte hitting up on your Hyunjin, or that he has a secret lover. Either way, it made you pathetically jealous. Your heartstrings thrummed in anger as you imagined a beautiful French girl spread out on his bed, and Charlotte hitting up on your Hyunjin.

How could he go on with his life when you spent years mourning him?

Crimson tainted your lip as you bit on it hard, the taste of metal at the tip of your tongue.

Perhaps, you never made it past the anger stage of your grief.

ten.

You truly tried to be happy for Hyunjin.

For days, weeks — you spent convincing yourself that you had to be happy for him. Sure, he hurt you three years ago. Sure, you spent years in agony, regretting not telling him how you felt earlier, wondering what could’ve been. Sure, you hoped that you’d see him in Paris and he’d tell you that he’s in love with you and kiss you senseless — but those were just desperate prayers, weren’t they? Those were simply hopeful scenarios. You hadn’t expected them to come true, had you?

Hyunjin was your best friend of years. He deserved happiness, even when you didn’t feel happy. You had to let things go. You had to be happy for him.

Clearly, you failed at convincing yourself.

In front of a building you stood, the sound of people walking past becoming white noise. You stared at the banner standing in front of you, the words Autumn Exhibition displayed, with the logo of Beaux-Arts de Paris at the top. You swallowed the lump forming in your throat.

A week ago, Charlotte told you that the university would be holding another exhibition, and Hyunjin’s artworks most likely made it into the exhibition. You knew then, that you had to go. If you didn’t get to see him, then you at least wanted to see his pieces. To not be a part of his life was devastating, you wished to at least witness glimpses of it.

9:45 p.m. was displayed on your screen, people were beginning to leave the exhibition. There weren’t many people around, which was what you were hoping for. Visiting the exhibition in daylight meant potentially bumping into Hyunjin, and you weren’t sure if you were ready for that.

One day you ought to meet him, but not today. Not when the fragments of your heart have yet to be mended.

After taking a deep breath, you willed yourself to step into the exhibition. A gust of wind hit your face, and you shivered, clutching your coat tight. The art display seemed to be painting-themed, the way frames of canvases were scattered around the building. Baroque paintings were displayed all over, each piece as beautiful as skies at dusk.

The tapping of your heels against the ceramic tiles sounded as you walked, the romantic lighting of the room providing you with a sense of comfort. Wildly, your eyes observed each piece, letting your heart be swayed by the beauty.

They were all beautiful — but they didn’t feel like Hyunjin.

Until your eyes trailed to a certain piece.

It was the centrepiece, the piece — little bulbs of lights were installed above the frame, making the piece feel alive. The moment your gaze fell on the artwork, you couldn’t help but feel drawn in, taking hurried steps towards it. You stared, unable to take your eyes off the hues on the canvas.

There weren’t many hues, just black and white. It depicted two figures on swings. You couldn’t see the figures clearly but you could tell they looked happy. You could see through the strokes of paint that they were happy — though the artist not so. There was a certain sadness in the painting, one that screamed nostalgia.

The longer you looked at the piece, the more you realized.

It was a fragment of your memory.

Your breath hitched. In came a memory of you and Hyunjin — running around the park before playing on swings. It was a particularly memorable day, you could recall falling off the swing and Hyunjin kneeling in front of you, kissing the bruises on your knees with the tenderness of a feather. It was the first time you felt so protected, and so loved.

A rush of emotions overcame you, you wondered if that was how Hyunjin felt when he painted it. Had he thought of you, and wept by his easel? Had he stained his cheeks with charcoal as he wiped stray tears off his face?

You wondered, so much so that you failed to realize a silhouette entering the display.

Hyunjin didn’t enjoy art exhibitions in daylight. They felt pompous. The people who visited the exhibitions would usually walk around casually, and took photos. They didn’t harbour any sort of deep appreciation towards art, they didn’t sit and admire.

Therefore, Hyunjin loved revisiting exhibitions in the comfort of twilight. When the expositions were empty, he enjoyed revisiting them, taking his sweet time to admire each piece.

When he spotted a figure standing before his piece — his most vulnerable piece, he felt his heart drop. He watched from afar as this person observed the artwork, body as still as a mannequin. He had never witnessed someone admire a piece this intensely, especially with it being one of his pieces. He felt flattered, his heart swelling in pride and joy.

Silently, Hyunjin approached the figure. Usually, he was shy, not the type to approach people first but somehow, he felt the strong urge to this time. Fate was pulling him by his heartstrings.

“That’s my painting,” Hyunjin spoke, ensuring his voice was as soft as possible.

The sudden voice startled you. You whipped your head towards the source of the noise, eyes widened in shock. They widened even more at the sight before you.

Hyunjin’s breath hitched. His heartbeats escalated, taking in the figure standing in front of him. His fingers dug into the skin of his thumb, lips quivering. Brown doe eyes mirrored yours.

“Wh — what?” he spoke again, breathless. “Yn?”

A few steps were taken, inching closer towards you. His eyes scanned your face, lips quivering even more when he realized that it was you — you were real, and you were standing in front of him. You looked the same as you did three years ago, except more beautiful. How’d you get more beautiful? The passage of time had seemingly been good to you, the way it had carved your face into one Hyunjin could imagine himself filling his canvases with.

“Hyunjin,” you willed yourself to speak. You ignored the way your eyes watered. “It’s you.”

“It’s you, too. You’re here.”

Another few, brave steps were taken. You, on the other hand, didn’t move an inch.

“I hate you,” the words spilt past sanguine mouth before you could stop them, its venom contrasting the hushed tone of your voice. They crushed Hyunjin’s heart, though he knew he deserved them. “But I missed you.”

“I’m sorry,” was all that he could say. Hyunjin meant it. He really was sorry. He was sorry as he sent you back from the meadow, too cowardly to bid you goodbye. He was sorry when he packed his bags, stealing one of your sweatshirts for solace. He was sorry when he was on the plane, wishing he could turn back time. He was sorry when he painted numerous portraits of you. He was sorry as he stood before you, watching tears flow down your cheeks because it was the least he could do — a form of punishment for what he had done to you.

You shook your head, palms rushing towards your face to wipe away tears.

“It’s not enough, I know,” he mumbled, moving closer towards you to wipe your tears, like it was instinct, feeling his heart clench when you took steps back. “But I truly am sorry.”

“You didn’t even say goodbye,” you sobbed, vision blurry. “You didn’t even contact me.”

“I know, Yn, I know — I’m sorry. I wanted to call you, but I couldn’t,” he rambled, cupping your cheeks and rubbing on the skin. You allowed him to. “I swear, I wanted to write to you, but I was too embarrassed, and by the time I had enough courage it was already too late.”

Sobs wrestled their way past your lips, barely able to form coherent words. You kept shaking your head, blurting out the words you’ve kept for years.

“You just left me, Hyunjin — you left me. A day before my birthday,” your whimpers got louder, “I wanted to tell you I’m in love with you, on my birthday. Hell, three years later and I’m still in love with you.”

Hyunjin’s face paled. He had expected curses, and cries — but he hadn’t expected that. Anything, but that. His limbs moved before his brain could process things, lifting your chin to meet eyes. Your eyes were tinted with tears, but you were still beautiful. You’re always beautiful.

“What?” he squeezed your cheeks, “Yn, what?”

“You heard me. I’m not saying it again. It's fucking pathetic.”

“Fuck,” he exhaled. Hyunjin knew he was supposed to feel remorse, but God — his heart bloomed at the words you had whispered to him. You’re in love with him. You’re in love with him, the same way he was in love with you. “Fuck, Yn. You can't just say shit like that.”

Feather-like touches grazed your lips. There was a certain look in Hyunjin's eyes, one that you couldn't quite figure out — they were a look of longing. How could you know it was longing when you had never bear witness to them? You could feel his breath against your face, warm like his fingertips.

“You have no fucking idea how long I've been in love with you. You have no idea how much I missed you. Fuck, I think about you every fucking day,” he whispered, “You have no idea how much I regret getting on that plane.”

At that moment, all you could feel was Hyunjin. His deep, brown eyes staring into yours and his thumb pressing onto your lip.

“Kiss me,” you whispered back, “Kiss me, Hwang Hyunjin.”

And kiss you, he did. His lips crashed against yours with fervour, moving his lips to the same beat as his racing heart. You kissed back in the same manner, letting out the emotions you had bottled up.

I love you, I love you — each movement of his lips was a love confession, etching his adoration onto the curves of your lips. You caressed his cheeks akin to holding stars in your palms — careful, precious.

Finally, you pulled apart to catch your breaths, bodies heaving against each other.

“Please, give me a second chance.”

It’s odd the way human minds work, because at that very moment, you were reminded of Colette's words. Ones that mentioned a rumoured secret lover.

“But,” you felt silly for saying it, “Your secret lover?”

“My secret lover?” the boy's eyebrows furrowed. He then chuckled upon realization. The rumour must've spread to you. “Ah, that secret lover. It's you, idiot.”

He smiled. You didn’t think anyone could look as beautiful as he did.

“It's always been you.”

eleven.

“Careful — come on, get under here.”

Giggles echoed in the alleyways as two shadows lingered in the darkness of midnight. It was raining, the pavements darkening with wetness and the wind howling a sweet melody. At that particular hour, under the moonlight, Paris looked like the city of love.

You rushed out of the exposition hall, getting under Hyunjin’s leather jacket. He’d promised you the date of your lifetime that night, and he wasn’t one to break his promises.

Hyunjin’s back was damp from the rain, but it didn’t matter as long as not a droplet landed on your body. It only took a few minutes (and a lot of giggles in between) to reach Hyunjin’s so-called secret spot.

Streetlights shone on a bench, and clusters of flowers surrounded a little pond. The spot overlooked the city, you could see the city lights from all the way up here. You gasped in awe, it’s no wonder Hyunjin insisted on coming here.

“So beautiful,” you whispered. Hyunjin smiled softly, moving closer towards you on the bench and wrapped an arm around your waist.

While fondly looking at your visage, he muttered. “Yeah, it’s pretty.”

“How’d you find this place?”

“I found it while I was walking one night,” he explained, resting his head on yours. You could smell his shampoo in this closeness. “I was sad. This garden reminded me of the one we used to go to when we were kids.”

Your heart swelled at the confession.

“It does resemble that one a lot.”

The skies were still drizzling rain, but you were both a little sheltered much thanks to the oak tree above you. Only droplets dripped, falling onto your head but it was a nice sensation. Besides, you couldn’t feel the cold when you’re nuzzled in Hyunjin’s arm, blanketed in his familiar warmth. You allowed silence to third-wheel you, eyes busied with observing the sight. Silence was always comfortable with Hyunjin. The time spent apart hadn’t changed that.

He wouldn’t leave you alone, his skin constantly touching yours. It burned against you. You didn’t mind it. Instead, you basked in his love, listening to the sounds of his heartbeats as your head rested on his chest. He intertwined your fingers together, his thumb rubbing against yours. He wouldn’t let go of you, not even when he bent down to pluck a flower, slipping the daffodil onto your ear.

“I missed you,” he murmured. You weren’t sure how much he’d repeated that phrase but you liked it. “I truly did.”

For the thousandth time that night, you responded. “I missed you too.”

The conversation changed into one about your lives, catching up on each other’s shenanigans. It was comfortable, being with Hyunjin. Topics changed seamlessly. You didn’t have to put much effort into talking to him, you just had to be there.

Softly, his hands moved towards your feet, taking off one of your shoes. He held onto your ankle, tracing his pointer across your sole. You giggled, the feather-like touches tickled.

“You still have the feet of a ballerina.”

“Of course, silly,” you scoffed, “I am one after all.”

“I’m so glad that your dreams came true,” he whispered, putting your leg down. He cupped your cheek, showcasing a fond smile that stretched to his ears. “I’m really happy that you’re here.”

“Of course,” you repeated. “You told me you’d be wherever I am. It’s only fair I returned the favour.”

The words knocked out Hyunjin’s breath, and it filled his soul with so much adoration, he felt like he could burst. A pleading expression was written all over his porcelain visage, the way in which he squeezed your hand expressing his feelings even more.

“Please,” he pleaded. “I need to be yours.”

You kissed him, for the second time that night.

“I’m already yours, Hyunnie.”

twelve.

Things with Hyunjin had been going exceptionally well.

After the fated night, you carried on with so much happiness that you practically beamed everywhere you went. One time when you clocked into work, the Double C’s made kissy noises at you, and Charlotte had whispered, “You must’ve had crazy good sex last night.”

You couldn’t deny it, of course.

Date nights with Hyunjin happened thrice a week, with coffee runs in between classes. The Paris Ballet School and Beaux-Arts de Paris weren’t that far from each other, allowing you to sneak lunches together almost daily. Though you had to admit that even if the universities were far, Hyunjin definitely wouldn’t mind spending extra time just to see you. Sometimes, he’d watch you dance, and sometimes, you’d watch him paint.

It was like you were both making up for the lack of each other the past three years.

After just two weeks of your relationship, you were acquainted with the comfort of Hyunjin’s home. His roommate was barely home, so you felt comfortable with coming over often. Most weekends, you’d spend the night over.

Morning birds chirped a jolly ballad, waking you from your slumber. You stretched, feeling the heat of Hyunjin’s skin against yours. You couldn’t help the smile that grazed your face when you looked at him, fast asleep under the duvets beside you. Sleepily, you pressed a kiss onto his bare shoulder, then traced the memories of last night, tattooed on his skin in the form of bruises. It pulled a whine from him, moving under the duvet to press himself impossibly closer towards you.

“Flower,” he mumbled, morning voice husky, “I'm cold.”

“Then come cuddle.”

He did as told, wrapping strong arms around you. You felt his fingers ghost against your naked spine, sending heat straight to your core. You couldn't help the whimper that left you, earning a playful grin from your boyfriend.

“It's too early to get in the mood, no? Baby?”

Flushed, you smacked his arm. “Shut up.”

Hyunjin giggled, leaning towards you to press kisses onto your face. Mornings with him were often spent like this — limbs entangled, as if you were one.

“Need to shower, baby,” he sighed, “Have an exhibition today.”

To your dismay, he slowly pulled away from you, missing the warmth of his body.

“You coming to the exposition?”

“Of course,” you hummed. “Go shower. Can I borrow your laptop while you're in the shower?”

“Yeah, baby. The password's your birthday.”

He got up from the bed, and you flushed as you looked at his bare body. Unluckily for you, your boyfriend quickly noticed your flushed face, taking it as an opportunity to throw a pillow at you and call you a pervert. You rolled your eyes, watching him enter the bathroom before getting up, wrapping the duvet around your naked body.

You walked towards his study to retrieve his laptop, smiling at the artworks displayed on his peg board. One was of you — a painting of the Polaroid he took of you back in the meadow. The Polaroid itself sat at the back of his phone case. He had never taken it out since the first time he put it in back then.

Whilst humming to a melody, you kicked in the digits of your birthday. The laptop unlocked, showcasing the unclosed tabs.

Your eyes widened at the words written on the screen.

Congratulations, you've been chosen for a student exchange programme to Rome.

Your heart skipped a beat. Repeatedly, your eyes skimmed the words on the screen. You didn't mean to pry but you scrolled through the email, feeling your heart sink upon seeing the date it was sent.

Over a week ago.

Yet Hyunjin hadn't told you anything.

After all these years, he was still keeping secrets from you. You couldn't handle it, and so for the sake of your heart you exited the tab, and shut down the laptop. Careful as to not make much noise, you got dressed.

“Hyunjin,” you knocked on the bathroom door. “Need to be at the academy now. Bye.”

You needed to be away from him — you needed to clear your head.

thirteen.

You hadn't seen Hyunjin for a week.

The texts from him you didn't avoid, responding each time he sent a message. However, you'd been dodging his requests of meeting, under the guise of practice when in truth, you hadn’t gone for classes in a week. You spent your days moping in your apartment.

Perhaps it was a little childish of you to do, but you couldn't bear the thought of going through what you did before. You'd tasted a life without Hyunjin, and you were certain you didn't want to live through it again. This was your way of mentally preparing for that life again.

Your limbs lazily stretched across the cotton duvet as a vinyl played in the background. A melodramatic song played, matching the current tune of your heart. You weren't entirely sure what time it was, but the sound of the apartment bell ringing hinted that it was afternoon. It must be the takeout your roommate ordered.

“Reine,” a familiar voice reverberated in your apartment. “Where's Yn?”

“In her bedroom,” your roommate, Reine replied in her thick French accent. “She's been in there moping all week.”

Damn you, Reine.

Quickly, you buried yourself in your duvet, anticipating the footsteps which approached your room. Soon, your door swung open, and you could smell the white gardenia in his cologne.

“My flower,” his voice tempted you to look, “What’s going on, sweet girl?”

It didn’t help that each syllable that slipped past his lips felt like honey.

You felt his hands pull down your duvet before you came face to face with your boyfriend. He stood before you, hair slicked back and the white blouse he wore accentuated his shoulders. In his hands was a bouquet of flowers, patches of peonies and daffodils peeking from the wrapper.

You didn’t utter any words, simply looking at him with watery doe eyes. He didn’t miss the glint of tears, immediately setting the bouquet on your nightstand to get onto the bed. Tenderly, he pulled you onto his lap.

“You look so sad,” he mumbled, “Can my sweet girl please tell me why she’s so sad?”

Damn, him. How were you supposed to stand a chance when he was so ridiculously handsome and sweet?

Trembling, you parted your lips to speak.

“You’re hiding things from me.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What things, baby?”

Your eyes shot daggers at him, bottom lip forming into a pout. Hyunjin had to stop himself from leaning in and biting it.

“You got offered to an exchange student programme,” you finally bit the bullet. “You’re planning on keeping it a secret and just leaving me again, aren’t you?”

Ah.

Hyunjin’s eyes softened. He sighed, caressing your cheek in his hand. He shook his head as his free hand rested on your thigh, massaging the supple skin.

“No, I’m rejecting it,” he answered. “I didn’t tell you because I thought there was no point in telling you if I didn’t even want to go.”

“What?” you responded, voice a little higher than you intended it to be. Your eyes scanned his for any lies. “Hyunjin — it’s a good opportunity.”

“What, you don’t want me here anymore?” he joked, raising an eyebrow at you. “Baby, Paris is already enough for me. I don’t really want to move again.”

You nodded at his words. A huge part of you felt relieved — and you felt awful for feeling that way.

Love, sometimes, is about being selfish after all.

“Were you sad because you thought I was going?” your boyfriend queried, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear.

You shrugged. “A little. I was more mad that you didn’t tell me.”

“Oh,” he nodded, “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to keep it a secret, I just didn’t mention it because it felt insignificant.”

“I want you to tell me things,” you mumbled, wrapping your arms around his neck. It left goosebumps in its wake. “I want to know these things.”

“Okay," he mumbled. Something about his compliance made you feel fonder of him. "I'll start telling you these things."

A sigh of relief left your lips. You had known Hyunjin for years, but being with him was different. A good kind of difference. It would take you a while to adjust to these changes — but it was the kind of changes you'd want to adjust to.

Hyunjin's fingers trailed to your hips, ghosting over your skin until they reached your thighs. He traced the stretch marks there, leaving goosebumps in its wake. You couldn't help the whine that left your mouth, and the heat that arose, tainting the tips of your ears in crimson. Hyunjin enjoyed this — flustering you with his ministrations. He allowed you to nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck, whimpering as he felt your lips litter kisses on his most sensitive spots.

"I love you," he confessed, like honey dripping from lips. "Promise I'll be wherever you are."

taglist: @zoe8stay , @starlostseungmin , @starlostlaiba , @hwajin , @sleepyleeji , @skizzel-reblogs, @jdopes-recorder , @sherryblossom , @cb97whoree , @alyszaen , @aaliyahxsx , @jeonginsyoungestsibling , @hyunluvxo , @bokk-minnie , @ghostyycat7 , @fortunatelyhertragedy @yongbokkari @ameliesaysshoo @seoli-16 @jisungsdaydreamer @soobnny @seolboba @in2heartz @jehhskz @astraystayyh @mnwrld

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technicolorxsn · 1 year

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microdosing on pet grief by following an account that constantly adopts near death animals

#it does rly suck though #god with them losing one of their toms it makes me miss cocoa again-#he died right after i left the house and my dad buried him in the backyard #he died fairly young too #probably bc he was an outdoor cat (not my wishes)#mightve been lyme given he had gotten some ticks a few months prior but my dad said he thought it was cancer so idk #man idk what id do when cali goes- shes always been here with me #shes my baby and i spoil her rotten #if she died id be devastated #thats part of why i was so glad to finally bring her inside permanently #shes not very happy about it but its nice being able to know shes not picking fights with neighborhood cats or getting runover #its also nice not waking up in the middle of the night due to her picking fights #surprisingly she was never injured or anything i think she just has a lot of bark and a TON of fur to puff up #anyway im rambling #animal death ment

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blueywrites · 1 month

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'cause I ain't had nobody hit it like you hit it (2/2)

dom dealer!eddie x sub fem!reader inspired by @2jihiir0's fanart 'make it quick... baby's sleeping'. leave them some love! read part one here.

3.6k

cw: 18+. smut, references to hard drug use, unprotected piv, situationship becoming something more, shame kink, praise & degradation, pet names, exhibitionism-adjacent, eddie embarrasses the fuck out of reader but don't get it twisted, he's down bad, no y/n, no physical descriptors

an: sorry for leaving y'all on that little cliffie in the first part. I hope this makes up for it! 😉 also, make sure you check out the fanart if you haven't already - there are some specific allusions to it in this part, and it'll enhance the experience if you've checked it out. accreditation: I attribute those clever details to the very talented artist 🩵

now, enjoy the utter filth! xx

The sound is a bucket of ice water down your spine. Your back stiffens ramrod straight as your grasping fingers find the front of Eddie’s tank, fisting it up tight in a startled search for comfort. Eddie separates his lips from yours with a loud click, an annoyed frown already marring his brow as he cranes his neck to look around you toward the closed door. When the knocks come again in quick succession, there’s a split second you think he will tell you to get off him, and your stomach swoops with something just short of devastation. But Eddie doesn’t even bother asking who it is; he keeps cupping your cheek even as he barks harshly, "Busy, man. Go take a walk, come back in ten minutes."

After a brief pause, you hear the creak of wood followed by the plodding steps of whomever had come calling descending the porch stairs. It’s somewhat of a relief, but the interruption has disturbed the haze you’d fallen into. You almost want to ask who that was, if Eddie’d been expecting any visitors or customers other than you, but you bite your tongue, not wanting to dampen the mood between you two even farther. As your heart keeps racing while you attempt to regain your composure, your eyes search his face. They flit about before being captured by deep brown, ensnared by the look he’s leveling you with. Eddie’s gaze bores into yours, dark with longing and mischief as if he’s daring you to defy him.

As if he can see through your eyes straight down to your soul and all that it longs for.

The tension returns in an instant— sticky and hot as your thighs flex around Eddie’s hips, and the subtle shift reminds you he’s still buried inside. Your desire for him simmers like an ache low in your belly, plaintive and wanting. And he must read that on you, because despite the clock ticking down the seconds until his visitor returns, Eddie just has to tease you.

"Yeah?" His voice is a low whisper, a teasing challenge that sends a shiver down your spine. "S’like that, huh? You want me to make you cum now?" He glances up at the wall behind him, drawing your eyes to a row of scrawled lines— a tallied record of the pleasure he gives. It’s yet another way he’s found to rile you up, a reminder displayed in a place you can’t help but see every time you visit him. "And you think you’ve earned another tally?"

Your breath catches in your throat as you meet his gaze again. "Need it, Ed..." you whisper, your heartbeat rabbit-fast at the prospect of him really giving it to you.

His smirk widens, a flash of smug satisfaction dancing in his eyes. "Aww, baby needs it so bad," he teases, his tone laced with mock sympathy before it darkens. "You're such a fuckin' whore. But only for me, right?"

A heady mix of desire and shame courses through you, slinking through your veins, burning you up inside. Because, for all intents and purposes, he’s right: you are a whore, giving yourself to your dealer like this. And this thing between you and Eddie may be more than that to you— may be more to him, too, though you don’t know for sure— but on the surface, that’s exactly what you are. A whore, only for him.

It’s demeaning and nasty and so fucking arousing all at once.

"Mhmm." A strangled hum of agreement is the most you can manage through your mortification. Even so, you know that won’t be enough for Eddie.

"Tell me," he demands, his voice a low growl that makes your pussy flutter around him; his fingers tighten on your hip, blunt nails biting in, dimpling your softness. His expression doesn’t change, but you know he likes being able to affect you with just the sound of his voice and the things he makes you say.

"I-I'm a whore for you, Eddie..." you admit, forcing out the words though they make your face positively burn. "I'm your whore—"

His hand crawls into your hair, pulling you back, and you moan as your neck stretches tight. "That's fuckin' right," he says, licking up your throat. You gasp and tremble. "My good little whore."

The teasing is becoming too much; you’re so turned on, you’re nearly beside yourself. You need to move; need him to move. "Please," you cry, whiny and pathetic, your eyes prickling with frustrated tears.

It’s all part of the game, of course-- his casual dominance, your needy desperation. But a harsh exhale against your chin shows that Eddie isn’t as unaffected as he wants to appear. Without ceremony, the still-smoldering joint, only half smoked, is ground out against the edge of the wooden coffee table and dropped into an old bottle. With both hands now free, Eddie pulls you into his chest, his grip firm and possessive, his palms spanning great swaths of your back and his fingers stretched wide.

Low and husky, he murmurs, "Hold on now, kitten.”

Hastily, you wrap your arms around his shoulders as his hands dip, dragging down until his fingers dig into your bare ass cheeks. You moan quietly at the rough neediness in the gesture as he manhandles you up so he can slide himself down further on the couch, planting his feet wide on the carpet, his dark jeans and checked boxers pulling taut just above his knees. He’s still stretching you out on his dick, and you bite your lip at the duality of feeling: the dull pain where your skin dimples under his hands, the low pulse of pleasure as his shifting presses him deeper into you.

You’re anticipating it, and still you choke on a gasp as Eddie uses his grip to slam you down onto his lap just as he thrusts up into you hard— once, twice, again, quickly setting a brutal pace that, if you weren’t so wet for him, would ache in quite a different way. As it is, this ache is exactly what you need— bruises on your ass from his blunt fingertips, burns on your knees from the scratchy cushions, and the battering of Eddie’s cock bullying deep into your pussy, making you feel so fucking good.

He grunts as you dig your nails into the sturdy, smooth lines of his shoulders, holding onto him tight; you bury your whimpers in his neck, the sound muffled by the heat of his skin as he pounds into you with dizzying ferocity. But that just won’t do, because Eddie wants to see you— wants to see the way he wrecks you. Briefly, one hand leaves your ass to pull you back by the scruff of your neck. You whimper as you lose your hiding place but you don’t fight him, obeying despite the desire to burrow away from his discerning stare.

"Just needed my dick all the way inside you, stretching this wet little hole out, didn’t you." Eddie chuckles, his gaze burning into yours with an intensity that makes your breath catch in your throat, hitching with every bounce of his thighs against your ass. "I know you did. You’re always so fuckin’ desperate for it."

You shift uncomfortably beneath his gaze, the heat rising to your cheeks as you try to avert your eyes, but you know he sees right through you. Every movement, every glance, every subtle shift of your body betrays the desire that burns within you.

Mercifully— or maybe unmercifully— Eddie goes on without expecting a response. "Comin’ over here, wearing your tiny little shorts, sittin’ on my couch, staring at me when you think I don’t see," he continues, his voice a low rumble that makes your scalp tighten as he leans in and murmurs in your ear. “No one else is givin’ it to you as good as me, huh? That why you gotta beg me for it?” As he mocks you, you squirm in his grip, embarrassed even as your pussy squeezes tight, your body betraying you with its unrelenting arousal.

"Shit, you feel so fuckin’ good," Eddie mutters quietly against your cheek. "Love your little pussy."

You go boneless on him as the embarrassment mixes with adoration. You tuck your face against his neck again, and this time, it’s not to hide. Your hands snake down his tank to claw at his back, nails dragging lines across his skin as you press sloppy, open-mouthed kisses over his throat, lavishing him with the depth of your feeling. His words vibrate under your lips. “That’s right, just like that. I gotcha. My pliant little fuckdoll.”

"Oh," you moan, your voice barely above a whisper as you surrender yourself to him completely. "Fuck—"

"Could do anything to you, hm?" Eddie rasps, never faltering in his pace as he fucks up into you.

As your breasts rub against his clothed chest, your hard nipples quickly become oversensitized by the friction, spurring you to meet him thrust for thrust. "Yeah, yeah," you gasp, your voice trembling with need, nearly overwhelmed by his words and the feeling of his fat tip kissing that spot inside. He’s working you so quickly at this angle that you nearly see stars. "Whatever y’want,” you slur, well on your way to being cock drunk. “M’your good girl, Eddie."

He chuckles, amused and fond. "That’s why you get the free ride, babe,” he tells you. "Cause you’re just so good."

There is no deliberate thought driving you anymore, just instinct as you ride him with abandon— tits shaking, ass rippling, head thrown back, mouth open, fists in his hair, drool on your chin, arousal leaking onto his thighs. Your lashes flutter, eyes half rolled back as you start to ascend.

“Jesus Christ, I swear, you’re—” Eddie pauses, swallowing harshly, like he’s gulping back what he almost said. “You’re so sexy like this,” he rasps finally, breath ragged, biting his lip when you throw it down harder on him. “So sexy. All mine.”

My whore. My fuckdoll. Mine, mine, mine. That sentiment makes you bold. You summon all your faculties to pull your face back from his neck and tip your head coquettishly, looking down at Eddie like you own him and not the other way around.

“Yeah, baby?” It’s a little breathless with effort, but still, you manage to sound sultry in a way you almost do not recognize. “You like that?”

Eddie’s pupils blow wide. He chuckles breathlessly, but he doesn’t look amused. “Go’n, fuck me,” he grits out, and his eyes are pitch black with desire, but as you keep looking down at him, there’s a flash of something else— something more akin to awe. “Fuck me like you mean it.”

And you do, more than you ever have before. The room collapses to nothing but the slapping of skin on skin— furious, sweaty, gasping plunges downward met with equally sharp upward thrusts that gradually have him sinking lower on the couch. By the time Eddie’s ass slips to the edge of the cushion, you’re slumped over him, hands squishing up his cheeks, lips mashed together, kissing like you need him to live. Each time he punches in, you keen like a wild animal, the sound garbled and mixed with his low, rasping whines. There’s salt in your mouth and you don’t know whose sweat it is, his or yours. Eddie’s breath puffs from his nose like he’s sprinting for his life; one of his damp curls tacks to your cheek as your bodies writhe together all slick, sticky, wet. You’re fucking each other so hard it almost hurts—

And then it does hurt, because on your next desperate bounce, Eddie’s ass slips off the couch, toppling you both to the floor.

Buzzing with adrenaline and on the knife’s edge of your orgasm, the fall only radiates dull pain for a moment before you’re over it. You lift your face from the carpet to see Eddie’s head all wedged up at an angle against the couch’s leg, his arms splayed, legs still caught in his pants and boxers like he’d tripped taking a piss or something. Your eyes hone in on his cock— wobbling in the air, flushed and slick with you down to the matted-curl base, miraculously still hard and, most importantly, entirely unharmed.

“Oh, fuck,” Eddie groans, his face contorted in a pained wince. If you weren’t so close to cumming, you’d ask him if he was okay, but as it is, your only thought is to crawl on top of him and hastily throw your leg over his hip. Before he can even blink, you’ve impaled yourself on his cock, engulfing him in the heat of your throbbing pussy with a filthy, wet squelch.

“Oh, fuck!” It’s a ragged moan this time as his mouth falls open, the cords of his neck pulling tight on an even more strangled sound as you go right back to fucking him like he asked you— like you mean it.

Pleasure returns in an even more potent swell as you consider how feral it is that you and Eddie are now fucking on the floor like animals. You’re making sounds of pained ecstasy, punching them out of yourself as you slam down on him until he’s hitting so deep you can feel it in the back of your throat. Your muscles are quivering, burning with effort, so much so that you can’t help but collapse forward, bracing your forearm against the edge of the couch cushion. You whimper as the move changes the angle, dulling your pleasure, but you can’t find the strength to hoist yourself back up while still chasing your orgasm— and you need to cum so badly now that you want to fucking cry.

But Eddie’s got you. When you slip, he’s there the next moment tilting his hips, matching you thrust for thrust, hooking an arm around your back and pressing his forehead against your sternum. His skin is hot, sweaty and tacky, and his breath huffs ragged over your bouncing chest for a moment before he presses his face into the plush curve of your breast.

And then you hear it: Eddie’s voice breaking as he moans out your name against your skin.

Dizzying flutters burst in your chest just as pleasure twists violently in your belly, a throbbing ache you can feel pressing at your walls, clawing its way up to break the surface inside you. You heave a tight sob as you cum, back arched, neck straining, consumed whole by the intensity of the feeling. Distantly, as if through a tunnel, you register a brief flare of pain; your spasming pussy clenches around Eddie’s kicking length as the pleasure peaks at the sensation, breaking in waves that gradually gentle and then finally ease. And it’s when you collapse weakly against Eddie’s chest, quivering as his arms fold around your back, that you realize the pain you felt was Eddie’s teeth sinking into your breast as he came with you.

When you finally have the strength to open your eyes, you're both still breathing fast, Eddie's bare arms bunching up your disheveled tank and sticking to your lower back as he holds you, panting into your mouth. "Shit," he mutters, chuckling under his breath. "That was..."

He leaves the sentence unfinished, but you understand his meaning. It was really fucking good— better than usual. And maybe it was because there was a thrill in trying to finish before his visitor returned, but maybe... maybe it was more than that.

“Even the part when you fell on your ass?” You whisper, smiling when his eyes crinkle.

“Sure,” he offers. “Even that part.”

You hum, nudging your nose against his, and when you pull back, there's a strange glint in his eye— something fonder, sweeter than it had been before. You smile at him again, and maybe he sees something in your gaze too, because he doesn't kiss you filthy, nor peck you as a quick punctuation to your fucking. Instead, he strokes back your hair, his brown eyes darting down to your lips. And as he leans in, your heart thumps—

That infernal pounding starts up again, louder this time and accompanied by the muffled sound of a male voice calling impatiently, "Hey, Eddie, open up— I ain't got all day, man!"

Your stomach lurches. Has it really been ten minutes?

Not that it matters, you berate yourself, ‘cause he’s back, and you’re still naked on the fucking floor. You dismount Eddie quickly, collapsing down to all fours so you can reach for your clothes where they’re bunched under the other side of the couch. As you scramble to your feet, tearing your panties and shorts up your legs, you hear Eddie curse quietly under his breath.

"Gimme a goddamn second!" he snaps, still lying on the ground, lifting his hips and shimmying up his boxers with a level of nonchalance that belies the urgency of the situation.

You climb onto the couch, your chest heaving from adrenaline and exertion as he pops up in front of you, hopping several times to get his tight jeans the rest of the way up. He flops down on the other side, spreading his legs comfortably, seeming content to just let his belt hang open like he can’t be bothered with it. You glance at him skeptically to see he’s already looking back at you with the same expression, though his is also tinged with some amusement. It takes you a beat to realize why, but when you do, you rush with prickling panic. Because your top’s still rucked up around your collarbone, leaving your bare tits, complete with the new impression of Eddie’s teeth, on full display. Miraculously, you manage to yank it down just as the front door knob twists sharply.

And then, to your horror, the door pops right open.

Your jaw goes slack as a guy around your age— rail thin and pale, dressed in an oversized flannel and a ratty pair of jean shorts— steps into the trailer. Eddie grunts a casual greeting, nodding at the visitor as he lopes up to the couch just as casually, slapping Eddie’s lazily outstretched palm like they’ve done this a million times before. You’re still attempting to process the fact that the front door has been unlocked this entire time when the guy casts a cursory glance your way, his eyes quickly flicking you up and down. You snap your mouth shut, your lips pressing into a flat line as you pull your legs up like they can shield you from his appraisement.

“Hey, man,” Eddie says, cracking his neck to the side. “How was that rock I hooked you up with last time? Good shit, right?”

Obviously a customer, then. You try to ignore the exchange, but you’re inescapably conscious of the fact that this guy could’ve walked in on you and Eddie fucking at literally any point in time. That awareness prickles as you shift, trying to mimic Eddie’s casual posture, though your attempt fails miserably as you feel a small gush of wet warmth leak between your thighs. You blanch as you realize Eddie’s cum is probably dampening your shorts; quickly, you adjust your legs, hoping to conceal the telltale spot. But your traitorous mind can’t help but consider how you likely look— hair mussed, lips swollen from Eddie’s kisses, one strap of your stretched-out tank top sagging down your arm. Like I’ve been totally fucked stupid, you think sourly, casting a flat look toward Eddie who, aside from a sweaty face and lips that are just the slightest bit puffier than before, appears no worse than normal.

Your fingers tap an impatient beat against your knee as you wait, eager for them to finish up so this awkward situation can be over already. The exchange drags on until the guy is finally pocketing his product as Eddie counts his money.

“Alright,” Eddie says at last, leaning to one side to stuff the bills in his pocket. “Pleasure doin’ business.” You hold in a relieved sigh as he jerks his chin up in a nod, flashing his customer a friendly look that’s half warm eyes and half sharp teeth.

The guy’s about to turn toward the door when Eddie speaks again, and the feigned innocence in his tone makes your stomach sink.

“Oh, shit, almost forgot—”

His ringed hand stretches out, rooting around on the messy side table for a moment before snatching up a ballpoint pen. Your eyes widen in disbelief as he glances behind him, casually reaching up and scratching another line into the wall— drawing everyone’s eyes to the tally marks and, in particular, to the words written above them.

Cum counter.

All you can do is stare at Eddie, utterly at a loss. "Now get the fuck outta here," he says to the guy, his eyes never leaving yours. "My baby's tired, and it's time for her nap."

And that motherfucker smiles at you— so wide his cheek dimples.

Not his whore; not his fuckdoll. His baby. Your heart swells behind your ribs even as your body heats several degrees with mortification; the customer’s long gone before you can decide whether to kiss Eddie or kick him.

It’s a decision you’ll have to make a lot from now on.

#blueywrites #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fic #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson smut #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x female reader

889 notes · View notes

gasstationlady · 7 months

Text

tom holland’s school of manifestation | a charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x supermodel!reader

charles has a big crush on world renowned supermodel, y/n l/n. who would’ve thought she’d return the feelings.

notes: very much travis kelce x taylor swift inspired. faceclaim is yasmin wijnaldum! btw i try to improve with each post (like how i write/pace the story) so if you have any suggestions, pls (veryvery kindly) tell me!! :))

disclaimer: SORRY FOR TYPOS. GOOGLE TRANSLATE (and from american high school lol) FRENCH. KYM ILLMAN MENTIONED LOL. none of the information in this social media au is factual. i do use old photos of charlotte and charles, and usually i don't like to include pictures of their ex or current gfs in these fics (only bc i want to keep it as imaginative as possible and i feel like adding them kinda gives you a reality check while reading LOL) so lmk your opinions on that!

masterlist

voguemagazine

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc and 854,487 others

voguemagazine Since beginning modeling at the age of 14, Y/N L/N has cemented herself as the most influential supermodel of all time. As of 2023, she is now the world’s highest paid model surpassing Kendall Jenner who previously led the list. Throughout her career, she has made 39 appearances on international Vogue covers.

Tap the link in our bio to read the full profile. Photographed by @/leannafitz, Written by Phil Stevenson, Styled by @/sheri_simmons, Vogue, February 2023.

View all 942 comments

user MOTHER IS MOTHERING

user omg as someone who has been a fan since she began in 2011, i’m so proud of her 😭

user she's the definition of perfection

user LOL ariana (charles), what are you doing here

↳ user his little crush on her is soo cute 😩

↳ user he’s just like us fr lmaoo

user her walk is legendary like it reminds me so much of naomi

user i was gonna say she’s the model of our generation but that’s wrong. she’s actually the top model of all time 😩😩😩

user i’m glad to see a non-nepo baby be on top of the list

↳ user no literally like no shade to bella, kendall, and them but y/n had to fight tooth and nail to be here

↳ user frrr bc most of the nepo baby models are great, don’t get me wrong. however, they were allowed to make mistakes during their career in order to improve. y/n was not privileged enough to have that. like ppl don’t understand the insane expectations that were placed on her ever since she entered the industry, but she exceeded those expectations every. single. time. and that’s why she deserves this title

user she’s so beautiful

user i would die for y/n

user nothing could describe the amount of affection i have for this woman omfg

charleslc_updates

42,077 likes

charleslc_updates Charles and Arthur talking about Y/N L/N (again lol) in a recent interview 👀

View all 396 comments

user lmaoooooo relatable

user omg i'm new to f1 but i've always been a y/n stan i'm freaakkkinng out but wdym again??

↳ user lmaooo charles is always trying to bring up y/n

user the leclerc brothers 🥰🥰

user it was so cute to see the both of them in one video

user this man fr blushed AHAH cute

user i get it charles i too have the biggest crush on y/n

↳ user lol literally like get in line dude

↳ user back of the line bucko

user i've never seen a man so down bad for someone he's never met

user y/n what are you doing girl if you don't want him ILL DO IT

user @/yourusername

↳ user LMAO YESSS @/yourusername

ynupdates

239,095 likes

ynupdates Y/N opening the 2023 Chanel by Karl Lagerfeld show during Paris Fashion Week.

View all 3,977 comments

user omg she absolutely killed it

user god does she need a dog? i can bark

user i love seeing her thrive

user quick charles this is your chance!!! she’s in paris 😭😭😭 @/charles_leclerc

↳ user lmaooooo not you tagging him but literally though

↳ user no srsly please mr. "i hope our paths cross soon" you don't understand i need this to happen

user yall saw that walk??? ugh y/n the woman that you are

user i don’t get the hype. all she does is walk.

user NAHHHH SHE ATEEE THAT

user i’m so happyyyy 🥺 y/n is so booked and busy she’s really out here doing multiple back to back shows for paris fashion week

↳ user same! it’s crazy that she gets to open and close multiple shows, especially ones like chanel!

user i love that so many people are going to these shows just to see y/n

user i could make this exact dress with my curtains

user if i ever meet her in real life i would die happily

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, bellahadid and 5,490,124 others

yourusername rien de mieux que d'etre a la maison [no place like home]

View all 12,658 comments

gigihadid sexy lady

↳ yourusername already missing you

user i keep forgetting she's part french

user you absolutely KILLED those shows

voguemagazine iconic ⭐️

alexademie 🔥🔥

user beautiful girl!!

user omggg charles liking this LOL

↳ user it's actually frustrating me that this man has no game like i'm rooting for you cmon

↳ user lmaooo literally though i'm just hoping he's pulling some strings behind the scenes

anokyai 😍😍😍

user la plus belle fille [the most beautiful girl] *liked by charles_leclerc

↳ user if this is him shooting his shot 😭😭

↳ user lol charles is down so bad he's even going through the comments

user am i just crazy but why are there two drinks in the second post? like is this supposed to be a very soft launch

↳ user it's probably gigi 😭😭 she did comment saying that they were hanging out with each other

↳ user but why not just take a pic of her tho

deuxmoi

31,844 likes

deuxmoi Y/N L/N & Charles Leclerc spotted hanging out with each other in Paris

View all 992 comments

user NO WAY OMG

user i'm actually in disbelief how tf did charles get here

user i knew you could do it charles!!

user TURN IT UP IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE

user so are they dating???

user CHARLES FR WINNING RN AHAH

↳ user NO LITERALLYYY HES BEEN DREAMING ABOUT THIS FOR AGES

↳ user he manifested this 😭

user they look sooo good together

user why does he look so srs

↳ user give my man a break 😩

↳ user well it looks like he’s not your man anymore 😭😭

user omgg this is like a fairytale

user wait i'm kinda obsessed with this

user i’m so invested

kymillman

201,885 likes

kymillman Y/N AND CHARLES

Ferrari driver Charles Leclerc is joined at the track today by top supermodel, Y/N L/N. This is the first time Y/N is with him and she clearly shines in front of the camera.

Her debut at the grid has quickly become a popular topic as fans and drivers alike are intrigued by the presence of one of the most famous women in the world.

For A3 prints, hand-signed & numbered by a range of drivers/team principals head to kymillman.com #f1 #formula1 #signedprints #japanesegp #CharlesLeclerc #Y/NL/N

View all 971 comments

user SHDJEJ IM ACTUALLY GOING FERAL

user mom and dad 😩

user so it’s official???

↳ user i mean this is the hardest launch they could have done other than posting 😭

user i’m a charles fan and even i’m surprised he got her to date him

user i’m rooting for them so much 🥺🥺

user she’s serving though

user i’m watching the race rn and they literally keep talking about y/n being there AHH

↳ user i always forget she’s kind of a big deal

user kym gets on my nerves but this picture is actual gold

user it's so obvious that this is a publicity stunt

↳ user nah but for who? bc i know damn well that neither charles nor y/n need it

↳ user obviously not for them but maybe it's to gather more attention for f1

↳ user girl i need u to listen to urself rn 😭 bc that makes no sense

user idk who charles is and idk what the hell f1 is but best believe i’m tuning in next race just to see y/n

↳ user literally me girl i can’t believe i’m watching cars drive in a circle rn

yn_updates

91,922 likes

yn_updates Some moments of Y/N being mentioned by drivers during the Formula 1 race

View all 1,061 comments

user i swear it was like every minute i'd hear y/n's name

user the way that all the drivers are aware of charles's long time obsession with y/n LOL

↳ user i just know charles is the type to never shut up about her ahaha

user she's literally THE y/n l/n. i mean if viewers are sky rocketing just by her being there, imagine her impact if she had actively promoted it

↳ user she's so iconic

↳ user no bc i love y/n so much that i just forced myself to watch rich grown men vroom vroom in circles for almost 2 hrs just to catch a glimpse of her

user i'm in love with her life

user LMAOOO THE DRIVERS TEASING CHARLES

user lando's so funny 😭😭

user y/n and f1 stans are being FED today wow

user is it just me or am i kinda annoyed about how often they're bringing her up like my girl can't even support her bf in peace

↳ user yea i'm eating it up but also feeling bad for y/n at the same time. the attention is definitely a double edge sword.

user apparently she was with joris most of the time 🥺

user this is literally straight from a fairy tale i can't

user didn't they just meet like a week ago

↳ user as far as we know they were first spotted together about a month ago by that deuxmoi post. but assuming from y/n and charles's past relationships, i don't think they'd be this comfortable going public without being together for a while

↳ user yea this has definitely been going on longer than we think/have been seeing

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, gigihadid, landonorris and 7,712,083 others

charles_leclerc J'ai toujours su que c'était toi. Joyeux anniversaire, mon amour ❤️ [I've always known it was you. Happy birthday, my love]

View all 34,511 comments

yourusername merci, mon cœur ❤️ [thank you, my heart]

yourusername je suis raide dingue de toi [i'm madly in love with you]

↳ charles_leclerc l'amour de ma vie [the love of my life]

user are we interrupting something...

user i can’t believe it’s already been 6 months since they first went public

user throwing myself down the stairs as we speak

user they don't know it yet but we're actually a throuple

user happy birthday y/n!!!

user in love with their love 🥺

user lmfaoooo i just know charles is on cloud 9 this man literally sees y/n and is blind to everything else

↳ user he's sooo cute, he's like a love sick puppy

user i still think this is a pr relationship

user god i'd die for someone to look at me the way charles looks at y/n in that second pic

user this is my roman empire

user i'm so obsessed with them it's insane

user our generation's brad and angelina

↳ user don't say that wtf my parents are never separating

user pls don't ever breakup 😭😭

#f1 instagram au #f1 x reader #f1 social media au #f1 imagine #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc social media au #supermodel!reader #f1 smau #f1 fic #charles leclerc fic

2K notes · View notes

irisintheafterglow · 7 months

Text

blood moonlit, must be counterfeit

summary: a guy at a party has a really good dynamight costume, and you two get to talking about your favorite heroes. (pro!bakugo x you)

wc: 1.68k

cw/tags: swearing ofc cuz it's bakugo, mentions of drinking and alcohol, halloween party, first meeting, emotionally constipated katsuki and reader is kinda oblivious lol

note: NEW HALLOWEEN HEADER BABY also this idea had me by the throat so i needed to write it down before it consumed my entire psyche. i'm back to writing for bakugo again because iykyk and halloween fics are giving me a lot of motivation right now. hope you enjoy!

likes, reblogs, and replies are always appreciated <3

“I have to admit–your costume is pretty damn good.”

“Yeah? Just ‘pretty good?’”

“Mhmm. Almost looks like the real thing,” you remark, taking another sip of the dangerously sweet jungle juice in your cup. It's an unreadable mix of bad ideas and bold flirtation, perfect for a Halloween party of barely 21 adults. The blonde guy beside you on the worn leather couch tilts his head slightly like he's re-affirming what you just said in his mind. “I think the real Dynamight would be impressed.”

“Would he, now,” he huffs under his breath, mouth curling into an unreadable smirk. He exhales a quick breath of what you think is amusement through his nose, eyes flicking over your body for the umpteenth time since he sat down with you. It makes your face heat up and you casually avert your gaze downward, catching more details of his costume that you didn’t notice before.

The gauntlets were obviously the star of the arrangement, covered in numerous scratches, burns, and dents that attested to their “battle” usage. The boots were impressive, too, and you wondered how long it took to place every individual orange eyelet over the front of each calf. The cinder block rectangles sitting on his broad shoulders truly looked like real stone, solid like the toned muscle holding them up. It was the domino mask that threw you off the most, though. The guy must have been wearing bright red contacts, or something, because to look so similar to the actual Pro should have been considered a crime.

“Who’d you come to the party with?”

“Just some friends,” he replies, shrugging an infuriatingly sexy shoulder. His entire look was putting the real Dynamight to shame, in your opinion. He nods upward in the direction of a guy in an equally accurate Deku costume standing with a very convincing Shoto lookalike. “They dared me to wear this and I lost the bet.”

“Must have been some bet, if you’re moping over here like a toddler.” The shrewdness of your words escapes you until they’re already past your lips; thankfully, he just smirks again and leans his head back, resting an arm on the back of the sofa.

“I’ll ignore that you said that, 'cause you're clearly intoxicated” he mutters, shooting you a brutal side-eye. Thanks to the alcohol, though, you’re far from deterred.

“How gracious,” you chuckle and his smirk gets a little more arrogant. “What was the bet?”

“Some dumb drinking contest. That asswipe in the green can put down more shots than he looks.” He scowls and you fight down the urge to giggle at his bitter expression. He was the only guy you’ve ever seen that could make a grumpy face look hot. The only guy besides Bakugo himself, of course. “I wouldn’t have worn this shit to a party to save my life.”

“What, Dynamight isn’t your favorite Pro?”

“I’m more of an All Might guy,” he replies nonchalantly. He appreciates the classic heroes. Good sign. “If I had to choose a different one, I’d probably say Jeanist.”

“Jeanist is pretty cool. My best friend had a cardboard cutout of Eraserhead in her closet growing up.” He barks out a laugh and it startles you, but a mysterious feeling in your stomach wants to make him do it again. “What do you think of the current gen of heroes?” He hums thoughtfully, running his tongue over his top lip and you swallow back your drool.

“Red Riot’s a good guy. Deku pisses me the fuck off, but he’s got a good head on his shoulders. Same thing with Pinky and that Half-and-Half asshat. Chargebolt…” His expression turns into a frown so deep you’re worried that Chargebolt killed his family or something heinous like that.

“What about him?”

“He’s just dumb. If given the choice between his life and a grain of sand, I’d take the sand,” he deadpans and you choke unexpectedly, wincing as your drink travels up the wrong tube and into your nose. His eyes widened in concern, reaching out to pat your back but deciding against it at the last moment. His glove-covered hands hover around you like you’re radioactive matter, carefully watching as you regain your composure. “You good, nerd?” Uses the same vocabulary as the real guy, too. Kind of weird, but I guess we all have our idols.

“Yeah, I’m good. I just didn’t expect you to badmouth him like you two were friends from high school or something,” you joke lightheartedly and the guy blinks at you twice before computing what you said.

“It’s whatever. They’re super fuckin’ easy to read, in any case,” he states with an air of finality and you down the rest of your drink, the dim lighting starting to blur everything around you into a single greenish-orange blob. “What about you? What are your thoughts on the new gen?”

“I can’t make such bold judgments as you, but I do think Dynamight is pretty cool,” you admit, suddenly feeling a little bashful when having the same question turned on you. The truth was, you followed the lives of the heroes a bit too closely than the average person should. It fascinated you so much that you were majoring in Quirk-specific journalism, studying the social and economic consequences of being a Pro. “I think his public persona is an interesting case when compared to other heroes.”

“How so?”

“Well, I’d like to imagine that he’s not always the loud, arrogant, obnoxious piece of shit that the press shows,” you start and narrow your eyes in confusion when he flinches at your description. You continue anyway but choose your words a little more carefully. Probably isn’t good to upset the guy who might have fashioned functioning gauntlets, if the costume truly is accurate. “There’s a side to him that I think the public doesn’t know about and doesn’t care to know about, since it’s easier to understand him as a loudmouth with no sense of manners. I just wonder who that guy is under all the yelling and testosterone.” His silence is deafening and you worry that you somehow offended him, but his tone is so gentle that your assumption becomes an impossibility.

“Seems like you’ve given this guy a great deal of thought,” he says lowly, voice barely audible over the sound of the blaring house music.

“Well, he is my favorite,” you add quietly, not expecting him to catch what you said. He does, though, and that mischievous smirk returns to his face. Somehow, you two had inched closer together over the course of your conversation, and you were now close enough to smell his cologne. It was something deep and smoky, with a surprise note of sweetness, like caramel. “I’ve been following his hero career since I was in high school.”

“I didn’t take you for a superfan, but I do appreciate your support,” he chuckles and your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “You seriously haven’t figured it out?”

“Figured what out?”

“That I’m Dynamight, stupid. This is my actual costume and those are my actual friends. Hell, I'm paying for this whole shitty party,” he says incredulously, genuinely shocked that you didn’t come to that conclusion already. Your skepticism, however, rears its head and you burst out into rude laughter.

Dynamight? Yeah, right. More like Dyna-maybe.

“Excuse me?” He stares at you like you’d grown three heads and your heart drops into your stomach. You must have said your thoughts out loud. Fuck! “You’ve got some nerve, testing the patience of a Pro.” His words, under any other circumstances, would have cut down your pride like a knife. However, his eyes were conveying a different story, one of lust and want and holyshityouwantedhim. “Got anything to say, sweetheart? Or are you gonna just keep gaping like a fuckin’ goldfish?” You abruptly snap your jaw back into place, leaning your head into your hand and smiling in triumph when his gaze again uncontrollably rakes over your body.

“I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“See what, gorgeous?”

“That a Pro kisses better than a normal person,” you murmur and his pupils blow to the size of pool balls. He wastes no time, gently but firmly grabbing your chin with two fingers and pulling your mouth onto his. His lips are ridiculously soft and you muster up the courage to bite him softly, heartbeat racing when he groans into your mouth. One arm drapes itself over the back of the couch, the other pulling you as close to him as humanly possible without practically sitting on him. Your hand combs through his hair and the other keeps him on you by the back of his neck.

Right when you run out of breath, he pulls away and swears colorfully at the phone buzzing in his pocket, answering it with one hand while his forearm is still pressed against your lower back. You absentmindedly trace his jawline with a finger while he curses out the person on the other line, eventually chucking the device over his shoulder like it was the last thing he was thinking about. “You need to go somewhere, sweetheart?” He lightly pinches your side at your mockery and you jump, flicking his forehead in defiance.

“Nah, that was a job for Dynamight. Right now, I guess I’m still fuckin' Dyna-maybe,” he rasps and leans back in to kiss you again but you push his face away, giving him as sober of a look as possible. “What?”

“If you need to go kick ass, then go kick ass. I’m just some random makeout at a party,” you remind him, painfully aware of the sting if he was to leave you alone. His expression contorts into indignancy again but you still try to convince him to alleviate whatever situation he was called in for. “Your job is more important than a hookup.”

“I don’t do hookups, dumbass. I’m interested in you,” he states plainly and your face is set on fire. The Pro, who you just insulted to his face, was interested in you? “So, let’s get out of here, yeah? I can make you dinner that isn’t shitty pizza.” His mouth breaks into a devilish grin and you’re already grabbing onto his hand like your life depended on it.

“If someone messes with us?”

“It’s a good thing I’m already in costume.”

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

#mha x reader #bnha x reader #mha x y/n #bnha x you #bakugo katsuki #bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugo x you #bakugo x y/n

1K notes · View notes

anastasiabowe · 4 months

Text

𝙏𝘼𝙎𝙏𝙀 𝙇𝙄𝙆𝙀 𝘾𝘼𝙉𝘿𝙔! — song lyrics corresponding with your boyfriend!

note: Hey guys! So, I have been writing a lot of KNB posts (which I’ll never stop) but if you guys want someone or many to be written about OTHER than KNB, then just request!

P.S. I wanted to try something new so this is why this is a little different from the recent posts!

Content warnings: smut, piv, licking, pussy eating, back scratching, pussy pounding, dick sucking, praise, jealousy, cuffs, overstimulation, and body worship.

★ — 𝗞𝗔𝗚𝗔𝗠𝗜 She's just like candy, she's so sweet!

Kagami dragged his tongue across your neck, growling in the process. You whimper as he did that action, you’ve never done this before, and his tongue feels weird! Kagami continued to dig his fingers that were on your thigh help keep your legs open as he laid between them, and the other on the bed holding himself up.

Kagami wanted to take it slow, savoring in your sweet innocent taste. He has never enjoyed smelling and licking someone like a fucking dog before, but if you asked him to bark, he’d yap. Your hands were on his collar bone as you tried to push his head away. He grabbed your hands with the hand that was on your thigh, and pushed them above your head.

When he was done enjoying your neck, he moved lower. This threw you off. Your face heated up, and panic filled your lungs as he lowered your fitted top past your boobs. Kagami kicked and kissed around your nipples and eventually your nipples causing your- down there to heat up.

Kagami sucked on your nipples, and slowly moved his hand down to your cunt. “W-wait!” Kagami stopped his movements, and lifted his head to look up at you.

He didn’t say anything, waiting for you to clarify. He didn’t move his hands, he actually moved them away from your parts. Eventually when you covered your face from embarrassment he got the memo.

“We don’t have to do this. I just can’t get enough of your taste. You taste sweet.” He smiled, you looked at him through your fingers, and sighed.

“O-ok, well, just go s-slow.” He chuckled, and moved his whole body lower so he was face to face with your cunt.

“Alright, let’s see how sweet she is.” He slid of your panties, and you felt extremely exposed, but yet extremely turned on. Kagami’s mouth practically frothed at the sight. He pushed your legs farther, you pushed back, not wanting him to see all of that, but he was stronger. When you kept fighting he stuck his tongue out and started eating you out. You then slammed your legs closed around Kagami’s head and he chuckled into your cunt.

After a while, he pulled his head from your cunt, prying your legs apart, and looked up at you with a cheeky smile.

“Mhm, she is sweet!”

★ —𝗞𝗨𝗥𝗢𝗞𝗢 Baby, I got everything and so much more than he's got!

Kuroko’s hand gripped yours as he saw your ex playing basketball in the local basketball courts. He was really good, no, very good, and he caught you taking a quick glance. You didn’t seem interested, but a glance was enough to make him jealous. He pulled you into his house quickly, and you let out a whine thinking you were in trouble or something. Kuroko only got like this when he was upset, so what is he upset about.

He pushed you up the stairs, very gently, but you were moving too slow, and he walked you into the bedroom. He slammed the door behind him and grabbed your face in a heated kiss. His face was so smushed into yours you had to pull away because it was becoming painful. Kuroko placed his hand behind your head to keep your lips on his. You whimper out in pain from your lips digging into your teeth.

Kuroko laid you down on the bed, and when you got a good look at his angry face, you could tell it wasn’t you. It was him. Kuroko quickly pulled your pants down, and spat on your cunt. Even though he is mad and not in the mood to be playing games, you couldn’t help but stifle a quick giggle from his cute little tantrum. He perked his eyebrow up when he head you laugh, and soon it wasn’t funny anymore.

“B-baby! I’m sorry, please just slow d-down!” Kuroko pounded into your cunt, his hair in your and his face. He hit his bottom lip as he kept thinking about how you were probably getting fucked by your ex before Kuroko came along. He kept thinking about how you probably once upon a time enjoyed your ex during sex since you stayed with him so long. These thoughts field his fire which he usually didn’t have very much, and it was becoming too good for you too handle.

“Whatever I did, I-I’m sorry!” Kuroko smashed his lips on yours so you could shut the fuck up. He of course wouldn’t dare say that to you, but that was what he wanted to say to you right now. You whimpered into his mouth as he pounded harshly into your cunt. You felt like cumming again, hoping Kuroko wouldn’t deny another one for you.

“I-I’m gonna c-“ kuroko pounded harder and brought his hand down to your pl cunt and started rubbing your clit. You moaned loudly at the action and came, hard. Kuroko wasn’t quite there, he wanted another one from you, and maybe a few more after that. He wanted to show you he was so much better than your ex!

★ — 𝗔𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗘 I can name a couple ways, baby, this shit might go!

Aomine clenched his jaw seeing you with your friends. You were wearing a skin tight black dress with ripped tights and black pumps. He already knew guys were up against you wherever you were, and he was upset he couldn’t even punch one in the face. You didn’t know Aomine was following you and your drunk friends. I mean you wouldn’t have been hard to find with all that yapping and screaming you all did. He hurriedly walked towards you and your friends calling out your name so they know he wasn’t a creep.

You turned and stumbled from how drunk you were. Aomine grabbed your arm and dragged you a little ways ahead of your friends. You were in heels so he eventually just had to pick you up and carry you home over his shoulder. He got angrier by the second when he kept pulling your dress down over your ass. Why the fuck did you wear this shirt dress. Your ass must of been out in the open and you weren’t even wearing underwear under the tights.

Once you both reached home, Aomine had an idea. He removed your clothes, put on new ones, washed your face and put you to bed. You may think you’ve gotten away with this, if your altered brain could think at all, but tomorrow will be an interesting day.

When you woke up, your wrists and legs were cuffed to the headboard. If you hadn’t recognized the area, you would’ve thought you were kidnapped, but you heard the shower running and knew Aomine was home. “Shit.” You pulled on the cuffs, thankfully you didn’t have a major headache from all the drinking you did, don’t know how, but Aomine must of Gaven you something.

“Aomine?” You tried to yell out, but the shower was too loud. After maybe 5 minutes, the shower turned off, and out walked Aomine. Wet, hot, and mad. To a normal person he looks normal, but to you, you could see the slight twitch in his jaw, showing he is clenching it, which he only does when he’s upset.

He grabbed another towel and laid it over his head. You watched him, getting hornier by the second, but Aomine knew this. The towel around his hips hung low, and his abs were practically punching you in the face from all the workouts he did.

“Ao-“ “shut the fuck up.” His calm voice saying such an aggressive thing made you even more turned on.

Aomine took a deep breath, a tactic he learned from his anger control therapist, and he thought about what he was going to say.

“Y/n. Why the fuck did you think going out dressed like that, without telling me, is okay?” You frowned, annoyed he even noticed. “I don’t usually give a fuck about what you’re doing, but when you ignore my texts for 4 hours, it’s going to tick me off.” He quickly riddled his hair in the towel, and threw it into a hamper. The towel around his waist came off right behind it and you stared at his cock.

He took another deep breath, and walked towards the bed. “There’s a couple of ways this can go, I can’t decide on one, so why don’t you help me, okay?” You looked at him confused, and he smiled.

“Do you want the good option, or the bad one?” You couldn’t breathe. What this a trick question? “W-what?” You tugged on the cuffs again, getting nervous.

“Do you want the good option, or the bad option.” He repeated the question, still standing waiting for your response. “G-good.” You let out a shaker breath, and he smiled. “Good.”

Aomine pounded into you as you screamed, begging him to slow down. He had been making you cum over and over and over, and never once did a smile not break off his face.

“Oh baby, you had a choice, and this is what you wanted!” Your nails slid down his toned back, making him groan in pleasure. “I personally think this was the best choice.” He leaned down and softly kissed you, almost taunting you, because you guys never kissed gently.

“Don’t worry baby, just a few more, then I forgive you. Does that sound good?” When he looked at your face, he could see your eyes slowly closing. He softly slapped you face and chuckled.

“Don’t pass out on me baby, we still got a little more left to do!”

★ — 𝗛𝗬𝗨𝗚𝗔 Need someone who's sweet enough, who'll shoot to make that high note!

Hyuga never had time for a girlfriend, ever since their win at the winter cup, girls up just to speak with him, but he didn’t pay them any mind, until you. Hyuga used to joke about how he wanted a girl who wasn’t needy and could handle herself, so every girl that talked to him acted independent despite then being only a year 1 living with their parents.

But when he met you, his ways changed. You were sweet, kind, and needy. But for some reason, you were an enticing needy. You always wanted him to hang out with you and cuddle with you, and whenever you asked he would, like in a trance, obey you. He doesn’t know why, but he never feels annoyed by the hold you have on him. You aren’t intentionally trying to keep him wrapped around your little finger, but you do!

Hyuga would skip practice for you, very rarely, but if you both made plans and Riko for some reason assigned practice on that day, he would skip it. If there was a game, you were always front row, or on the benches cheering him on, to all the other Seirin girlfriends jealousy.

“Hyuga! Hyuga! Hyuga!” You cheered on the bench with the other teammates of Seirin as the time was ticking and he had to make this final shot. He looked over at your cute face cheering him on, and he felt that go straight to his dick-

He embarrassed but determined, reeled back, soread his feet and and jumped, pushing the basketball high past his opponent and straight into the basket. The arena erupted in a loud roar, and the other Seirin players ran towards Hyuga in victory, but he pushed past them and went straight towards you. He lifted you off the ground and hugged you as if you made the shot.

“You did it! Oh my god you did it!” You excitedly praised him. He felt his dick harden by the praise and had to cut this little victory short.

“We gotta go.” He excitedly said, but panic prevalent, you didn’t even question him and followed him. He led you both into a locked changing room, and he pushed you into the wall.

“I’m sorry baby, this is so inappropriate.” He breathed heavily as he pulled his pants down. You looked up at him with your pretty eyes, and he nearly came right there. You dropped down to your knees and grabbed his cock.

“Did I do this?” Your glossy lips slightly parted after the question which is so innocent but so hot in this current situation.

“You always do this.” You giggled, and brought your lips to his red tip. Hyuga’s knees nearly buckled in when you wrapped your pink lips around his cock.

“Ah! S-shit!” You jumped knowingly and started to take him as much as you could. Hyuga apologized as he grabbed your hair and pushed you onto his cock. You gagged which again, like almost everything you do, nearly made him cum. It was embarrassing at how quickly he came into your mouth, but you don’t care, you know he deserved this!

When you swallowed his cum, and showed him, the groan he let out sent a shiver down your spine. He pulled you up by your hands, and kissed you.

“Don’t make me hard again, we have to get home first.”

★ — 𝗧𝗘𝗣𝗣𝗘𝗜 Sugar coated, lies unfolded, you still lick the wrapper It's addictive, you know this, but you still lick the wrapper

Teppei is the definition of innocent. You lean in to kiss him, he turns his cheek, he thought you were trying to kiss his cheek. When you try to touch his abs, he laughs because he’s tickilish. And when you try to hint towards sex, he thinks you’re hinting towards going to sleep! You don’t want to seem slutty or horny, but if you have a hot boyfriend you deserve to have your hot boyfriend! And so, you try everything in your power to see if he’s even comfortable doing it.

You ask him if he’s a virgin. He responds with “what’s your definition of a virgin?” Face slap. You ask him if he’s ever kissed anyone. “Oh, yeah! I’ve kissed my dog, my mom, my sister, my pillow, well I do that every night when I sleep, I don’t have much control over that and I-“ face slap. You ask him if he finds you hot and if he thinks about you at night, he says “of course I think you’re hot! You’re gorgeous, but I always think about you, so.” Double face slap.

You can’t blame a man for being a gentleman but he really is a gentle man. One day, you were so sexually frustrated you resorted to jumping your pillow. Your fingers couldn’t reach where Teppeis COULD reach, and you can’t just rub your cunt! You cried into the air as the pillow wasn’t doing its job. Teppei walked up into the room, hearing your cries and approached you on the bed.

“What wrong?” His hand softly laid on your back as you laid your head against his shoulder. Your lip quivered and he couldn’t tell why.

“It’s nothing.” You softly said, and he pulled you off of his shoulder and made you look at him.

“No, tell me, if you need something or want something I can get it for you.” You frowned, and he softly ushered you to speak.

“It’s so stupid!” A tear ran down your face, for something that could be easily fixed, it wasn’t getting fixed.

“Nothing is stupid! Tell me what’s wrong, I promise it’s not stupid.”

“I can’t fucking cum, Teppei!” You already knew that word went over his head, but when he hugged you, you were shocked.

“Then why didn’t you say anything?” Your breath got caught in your lungs and you pulled away from him.

“Because I thought you didn’t know what my issue was..” Teppei softly smiled and pulled you into a kiss to your absolute shock. You kissed him back, and truly you didn’t know what the fuck was happening.

Teppei pulled you onto his lap, and you deepened the kiss. “Teppe-“ “What do you need?” He asked, you were almost confused by the question until you saw the look in his eyes.

“I-I need, wait Teppei-“ “what do you need, baby?” His voice still gentle, but more serious.

“Your fingers.” You softly said, he let out a little “alright.” And turned you both around on the bed.

“Teppei.” You called out to him.

“Hm?”

“Wha- how- I thought you didn’t know how this all worked.”

“I don’t, so you’re going to teach me.”

You looked at him in disbelief. He looked back at you, ready to listen to your every command. But he wasn’t stupid, so he started to kiss your neck and jaw. You eased into the feeling, but he was still waiting for you to tell him what you want him to do.

“Teppei, please go lower.” You softly moaned when he listed. He kissed your collar bone and sucked on it. He would then lick the mark, and move on. It felt so soft and loving, you were getting wetter by the minute, and Teppei could feel it on his thing since it was between your legs.

He kept going lower till he reached your nipple.

“Play with the other one t-too.” He sucked on your nipple and brought his thumb to the other and softly rubbed it with his thumb, and soon switched to his thumb and index finger, pinching it.

If you thought you were wet, you were wet now. You instructed him to touch your cunt, and like always, he listened.

He moved his mouth to the other nipple, wanting to satisfy everything and brought his and that was holding your boob down to your cunt. He swiped his thumb from your hole to your clit and back down. Even though he thought it wasn’t doing much, it was doing so much.

You moaned and arched your back at the feeling making him smile.

“What else baby, talk to me.” His breath warm on your boob, and fingers soft and gentle made you feel more than taken care of.

“Please use your mouth on my c-cunt.” Your voice shook from the immense pleasure and he moved himself down to your cunt.

He brought his face close to it, and inhaled your sweet smell. “Mmm, smell so good baby.” You smiled down at him, and he opened his mouth, and started to lick and suck on your cunt. Your hands instantly grabbed his hair, and he moaned when you tugged in it. When he got the taste of you, he became addicted. All the denying of knowing how to please a woman, and the innocent facade he worked hard to maintain fell the second he got a taste.

He felt almost too selfish from denying you of this, he shouldn’t have even pushed this off if he’d know you tasted this good. He had both hands on the sides of your ass, pulling you farther into his mouth. Your back arched and Nails scratched his head. Teppei was getting lost in your cunt, and you felt close.

“Teppei!” You squealed when you felt the euphoric sensation wash over you. Teppei never slowed his tongue movements sending you into overstimulation.

“F-fuck, T-Teppei, too much!” He moaned into your cunt, he couldn’t get enough of you, and his cock was getting dangerously hard by the second. Who knew eating you out would turn him on so much. Who knew eating you out was so addictive.

613 notes · View notes

doitforbangchan · 2 months

Text

All Bark and No Bite 12

Masterlist /Series masterlist

Chan x reader (y/n) x ot8

ABO!Nonidol!SKZ Alternate Universe

Previous - Next

Chapter Warnings: Smut, oral (m receiving), grinding, kissing, cursing, crying, fluff, angst, drinking, drunk confessions, suggestive.

WC:8.4k

Chan was right when he thought you would need a lot of aftercare. After the events in the shower he carried you to bed and cuddled you for hours, kissing you and saying how he’s sorry he had to do it. He never apologized for the punishment but he only said that he was sorry it was necessary. The only time he left you last night was to go grab you a plate of dinner that you ate in bed. As far as you knew anyways.

In reality the alpha had waited until you fell asleep then he went and served the punishment news to Felix, who did not take it well. There was a lot of sobbing and pleading but the outcome remained. The beta could not speak to you or touch you in any way until Chan deemed it ok. Felix cried all night but knew he should have followed one of his alphas only rules regarding their omega.

You woke up that next morning feeling uncomfortably sore between your legs. You didn’t feel Chan in bed with you but you did suddenly hear the water running in his bathroom. For a moment you didn’t move, just laying there breathing in your alphas pure scent.

Chan came walking out of his bathroom in just his boxers, noticing your open eyes. His eyes crinkled as he gave you a boyish grin and came to sit on the side of the bed closest to you.

“Morning my love.” he leaned down to kiss your forehead. “I’m running a bath for you. I figured you're probably hurting a little bit, huh?”

You grumbled out a “yeah” and lifted your arms weakly for him to grab you. The alpha laughed lightly and scooped you in his arms, where he brought you to the bathroom. You could tell it was very early, the sun's rays not even quite peeking over the trees you could see from the window. “Wha’ time is it Channie?” you tiredly asked as he lowered your body into the warmth of his massive bathtub. It smelled like he added some epson salts and essential oils into the water.

“Hmm about 6:00 am, maybe 6:15ish. There's a few things that need to be done before we leave and the drive to our usual camping spot is about an hour and a half.” He stripped himself and lowered himself to sit behind you.

“Toooo early” you whined, head laying against his chest as he massages your shoulders. When his hands traveled down further, now getting the knots in your back you let out a sigh. If you had to wake up early, this wasn’t a terrible way to do so.

By 7 you were out of the bath and getting some clothes together to take camping. You had decided to wear a pink boho floral dress that went down to your knees with your new swimsuit underneath. You grabbed a few change of clothes, some sweat pants and a hoodie in case you get cold.

Chan could tell how excited you were for the lake when you came bounding back into his room with your stuff, skipping and grinning ear to ear.

“What’s got you all skippy, baby?” He put your stuff in his duffle bag along with his own clothes.

“Oh I don’t knooooow,” you drawled,wrapping him in your arms, “maybe just that we get to go swimming and camping today!”

The alpha laughed and gave you a wet kiss on your cheek, causing you to squeal and release him. “Can you even swim, baby? You said you’ve only been in the pool.”

“Well, I mean..” you felt your face heat up. “I think I could swim just fine. My feet didn’t touch the bottom of the pool so I had to swim!”

He patted your head patronizingly and cooed at you while still laughing “I’m sure you do your best, my love. Don’t worry though, your alpha will keep you from drowning.”

You huffed and narrowed your eyes at him, poking his chest “ I can handle myself, I’m not a child and I won't drown!” You turned on your heels and stomped out of his room, the man cackling behind you even louder as you left.

Down in the living room is where you found Minho and Seungmin.The front door was wide open and you could hear shuffling and moving outside. The older beta was going down the list and Seungmin was reassuring him that you all had everything. Well almost.

Seungmin was the first to notice you, and he met you at the threshold of the living room with a smirk, “Hey, Baby.” He pulled you in for a swift kiss, and you giggled returning it.

Minhos’ attention was now caught, his focus on Seungmin and how he acted with you. Since Min caught the younger beta groping you the other day he’s been paying more attention to the younger's actions.

Seungmins hands pinched your thighs cheekily as he pulled away from you, “Cute dress.” He laughed as you smacked his hands away.

“Thanks, jerk.” he dodged as you tried to pinch him back. You opted for sticking your tongue at him. “Good morning Min.”

His eyes remained watching you even when he had been caught observing, “Morning, omega. Do you have everything ready to be put in the car?”

“Channie has my clothes in his bag he is filling right now.” You nodded while answering. “ Is there anything I can do to help?”

Minho sighed and ran his hand through his hair, “No I don’t think so. Maybe when changbin gets back you can help fill the coolers but other than that everything is about done. Innie is outside putting everyone's stuff in the cars”

“Where did Changbin go?” you asked as you heard Chan starting to come down the stairs with your combined bag.

“He went to the diner to pick up our food order and then to the store for more beer. He should be back in like an hour.” Min shrugged.

“More beer?! As if the two cases I saw you loading yesterday weren't enough!” You rolled your eyes.

“These boys love camping.” Chan answered as he passed you to take your bags outside. “More specifically they love to get unruly while camping.”

“No better place than in the great outdoors with your best friends, a campfire and a pretty girl.” Minho winked while Seungmin fake gagged. “We also got some fruity drinks for you, baby. And Ji.”

You beamed at that “Really? Thanks! How did you know I don’t drink beer?”

“You don’t really seem the type, baby.” Sungmin smirked at your huff.

Minho rolled his eyes “Anyways, when Changbin gets home we will be ready then we can leave.”

Changbin had already hit the liquor store and the pharmacy, for your birth control prescription (at Chans request), now he was waiting at the diner for everything to be ready for him to take. He was sitting at the counter playing on his phone. The restaurant wasn’t busy, only a couple other patrons sat around in booths sipping coffee. What did catch his eye was the unfamiliar man sat a few seats down.

The guy was young, maybe Changbins age. This town didn’t get many visitors, so it was a little odd to see him there. From what Changbin could tell the guy was a beta, a mated one since he had a mating mark on his neck.

The beta must have felt Changbins analyzing stare, because he turned his head to meet the alphas' analyzing look. He lifted his hand with a grin and gave a little wave, “Hi.”

Changbin was self-conscious about being caught staring, giving back a mild look of panic and a timid wave, “Uhh hey.” The alpha moved over a few seats until he was sat next to the beta. “Sorry, I wasn’t trying to be rude. I just don’t recognize you, is all.”

“Ha yeah, I’m not from this area. I’m here to help my uncle with selling his estate.” He held out his hand for Bin to shake. “I’ll be around for a few weeks. My name is Wooyoung.”

“Where the fuck is Changbin? We need to get going!” Minho was clearly stressed out, pacing the driveway. To be fair, it was nearing 9am. You were sitting out on the porch on the outdoor sofa, watching the beta in his plight. Of course you wished to make it better, but unfortunately it was out of your hands. Slowly the rest of the pack shuffled out of the house, all ready to depart for the short vacation.

Hyunjin surprised you when he plopped down next to you with a deep sigh. He leaned his head on your shoulder and grabbed your hand in his. “Hey angel.”

“Hi Jinnie, are you ok?” You lifted his hand and placed a kiss on the back.

He gave you a tired smile, squeezing your hand. “Yeah, just exhausted. I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.”

You let him lean on you as he rested his eyes. “Why not?”

“Felix was a wreck last night. Crying for hours after Hyung scolded him. He needed me, so I stayed up with him.” Hyunjin sighed again, remembering just how distraught the younger beta had been all night.

You froze, dread and devastation filling your heart. You hadn’t even realized Chan had said anything to Felix yet. He hadn’t made an appearance yet, so you had no idea how he was holding up. To be completely honest, you had forgotten about the punishment dished out by your alpha. You were having such a good day so far, it slipped your mind.

Hyunjin could feel you tense up at the mention of Felix, he opened his eyes to see unshed tears in yours, and the sour scent of your sudden mood change filled his nose. “Oh sweet girl, come ‘er.” He embraced you in a comforting hold.

“It’s all my fault, Jin.” You cried, burying your face in the boy's shirt.

Your crying had caught the attention of Chan who was on the other side of the driveway chatting with Seungmin and Jeongin. He just watched from afar, not interfering with the comfort you were receiving from the beta.

“It’s not -”

“Yes it is! I let him do it, I knew we shouldn’t have but I did it anyway. He’s never going to forgive me.”

“Felix has nothing to forgive. He disobeyed a direct order from his alpha. He understands why and accepts it.” Hyunjin was stern yet soft with his words. The beta had sympathy for the younger but wouldn’t defend the actions. He listened the first time.

“Will Chan forgive me, though?” You asked, trying to stop crying. The hiccups were relentless.

Hyunjin found the alpha in question eyes, finding no malice or any negativity, just curiosity. “I would say you don’t have to worry about that, baby. Channie may get his panties in a twist when he feels like he has to go into ‘mean alpha mode’ but he gets over it quickly. He loves you, he forgives easily.” He pet your hair.

“FINALLY!” You jolted out of Hyunjins hold when Jisung yelled from his place on top of his car. Ji was pointing at Changbins car coming down the path.

Changbin stopped the car and popped his head out the open window, “Delivery!”

“And where have you been?! We should have left by 8:30!” Minho stomped over to Changbin.

“Well I met this guy at the diner and-”

“It doesn’t matter, we gotta go.” Minho interrupted, “LETS GO GUYS!” He screamed it so everyone could hear.

Hyunjin pulled you in for a sweet kiss, wiping your eyes as he did so. “It’ll all be ok, love. I promise.” You nodded at his words. He stood up and grabbed your hand for you to stand also. “Let's get loaded and get going.”

You both walked over to the truck Chan was waiting for you at, “Ready to go Omega?” you nodded.

At this moment is when Felix walked out of the house. His eyes subconsciously searched for you where he saw you standing with Chan. You could see the redness in his face and his puffy eyes. He really had been crying all night. “Felix…”

You took a step towards him instinctively, wanting to comfort him but your alphas arm shot out and kept you from moving closer “Omega. Get in the car.” He kept his hard eyes on you, willing you to obey.

Felix saw this happen and ducked his head, beelining for Changbins car. He only sent Hyunjin one pleading look before ducking inside the vehicle. Felix respects Chan too much to disobey him again, even though he badly wanted too.

As much as you wanted to go to Felix you knew you couldn’t. With a look of defeat you climbed into the truck sitting in the middle seat. Hyunjin poked his head in and gave you a sorry smile, “As much as I want to be here with you, baby, I gotta go to Felix.”

“I understand, Hyun, it’s ok. I’ll see you when we get there.” You gave him a tight smile in return, scooting to the passenger seat, clicking in your seatbelt.

“See you soon. Love you.” He poked in to give you one last kiss before he walked to the other car.

Chan got in the driver's seat and started the truck, “ Are you ready, my love?” He was giving you that charming smile that you love.

You figured there was no sense on dwelling on it so you smiled back at him, “yeah m’ ready Channie.”

The drive to their usual campground was surprisingly pleasant, albeit the emotions in the car were a little heavy. Though you liked all the passing trees as you went even further into the forest. Chan let you pick the music in the car and he told you stories about the last few camping trips. From what he told you, the boys did a trip a few times a year, when the weather was warm enough.

You didn’t contribute much to the conversation, a little stuck in your head about the excitement of seeing a large body of water. Chan could feel your conflicting emotions, and could almost see them swirling inside of you. He only wanted you to have a good time so he decided to make a little adjustment.

“Baby.” he started, casually when you were about 10 minutes from your destination.. You hummed in recognition. “I think I may have been a tad harsh, especially since we’re all going to try and have a good weekend.”

“Harsh?” you were confused by his total subject change.

“I’ve done some reflecting, and I’ve decided you and Felix should still be able to at least speak to each other.” He shrugged, never taking his eyes off the road.

You let out an incredulous gasp, “Are you being for real?! I can talk to him?!” Your eyes looked hopeful as you stared at the alpha.

“Yes, I realize that it's impractical that two pack members can’t so much as speak to each other.” He let his eyes travel to you for only a second, to your beaming face. Chan put one hand on your thigh, just resting it there. “Remember, talking is the only thing I am allowing.”

“You got it, absolutely.” You were nodding rapidly, gripping his hand. “Thank you Alpha!” You were squealing with joy at the simplest of permissions, forgetting this was still a punishment and not a reward. As intended.

“You’re welcome, omega. I love you.” He said cheekily, giving you another sly side look.

“I love you Channie!”

Now you feel more jazzed. More ready and less in your feelings. The last few minutes of the drive was less heavy, and before you realized it you were pulling into a clearing behind the other two cars you were following.

You peaked your head out of the window, searching for any sign of water. “Where's the lake?”

Chan opened his door, and got out to come around the other side to open your door, “It’s a few meters through the trees in front of us.” he put his hand out for you to take, “we can’t set up camp to close or we risk getting water boarded.”

Everyone started getting out of their cars, scoping out the area. Immediately the boys got to work setting up camp. You saw Felix get out of Changbins car and went to go over to him but Chan stopped you, “Wait a minute, baby. Let me talk to him real quick.” He shooed you to help the boys unload the truck, then walked over to the younger boy who was standing with Minho and put his hand on his shoulder.

You weren’t able to hear what was being said, and couldn’t read Chan's lips since his back was to you, but you could see a little bit of the light return to the younger betas eyes and a light grin grace his lips. Felix appeared to nod in agreement then his eyes found yours, immediately seeking you out. You raised your hand to wave at him shyly, and he returned the wave.

“You can take this if you want, baby.” Seungmin brought your attention back to the task at hand, handing you an arm full of blankets. He pointed to where you could leave them, and the pack set up camp.

Camp was coming along nicely, tents being set up and drinks already being distributed. When you were putting your and Chan's bag by one of the tents Felix came up to you. “Lix!” You almost went to hug him but remembered you couldn’t. “I miss you.” you smiled the best you can.

“I miss you too, baby.” He grimaced then tried to smile back. “It’s just temporary. We can cuddle again soon enough. I promise.”

You nodded. “I love you.”

“I love you too. More than you know.” You felt your skin heat up at his words. He noticed things were almost done. “Are you ready for lake time?”

“Yeah!” You gave an enthusiastically loud response, then looked down trying not to come off so eager, “I mean, yeah sure.”

“HA! You couldn’t be aloof even if you tried, Omega.” Minho's teasing startled you and you jumped a little, turning to glare at him.

Min put an arm around your shoulder as you responded, “How would you know? Maybe I just hide it really well.” You didn’t miss the way Minho looked at Felix when the older beta touched you, a smirk on his face. “And don’t be a jerk!” You shrugged his arm off.

“Yeah leave Lixie alone, hyung!” Jisung hopped on Felix from behind. “He’s being punished enough.”

“Thanks Sung.” Felix deadpans, looking over it.

Minho put his hands up in surrender, “Ok ok I was just teasing you,” Then his smirk grew almost evil as his arms suddenly shot out and grabbed you. You squealed loudly as he threw you over his shoulder, your fists coming down on his back in protest. “Ow don’t hit me! I’ll drop your ass!”

“No! Don’t drop me, just put me down, you crazy! Aren’t you still setting up camp?”

“We’re done, it's play time now. I thought you wanted to go to the lake? I’m just taking you there.” He walked down the dirt path Chan had pointed out to you earlier.

“AHH no no no no Minho please don’t toss me in!” You couldn't see the water but you were starting to hear it now as he kept walking closer “Min I can't swim very well!”

He stopped near the edge of the water and lightly put you down on the ground. “I wasn’t going to toss you in, omega. You’re fine.”

You let out a sigh of relief and finally was able to look out at the body of water. It was beautiful. Very picturesque, almost like a painting, with the mountains in the background reflecting on the shimmering water. The sun was almost at its highest point in the sky and suddenly being next to the water you really felt the heat.

“What do you think, baby?” Hyunjin said from behind you, turning to see the rest of the pack coming down the trail. Hyunjin had a few towels and a folding beach chair. He didn’t have a shirt on anymore, his bare torso on display. “Beautiful huh?”

“Yeah” you oogled him, “beautiful.” He just laughed and kissed you as he passed.

Chan set you up a chair next to his, under a sun shade. Everyone picked their spots to set their stuff and then it was unleashing a pack of wild dogs. Most of them ripped off their shirts and sprinted towards the water, laughing and pushing each other.

It was like a scene from a movie, all these beautiful half naked men, splashing each other and being idiots yet still somehow managing to look perfect.

Your alpha was one of the few who hadn’t immediately jumped in the lake. He had his own shirt off as well, as he got out some sunscreen. “ Want me to get your back, my love? You need to be coated before getting in the sun.”

“Yes please.” You tentatively pulled your dress over your head, revealing the swim suit you had picked out the day before. The action caught every male's attention,( most of them eyeing you anyways waiting for the reveal) all of them unable to take their eyes off your body. They could see all the bites and bruises left on your body from the last few days, courtesy of Hyunjin, Felix and -mostly- Chan. Thankfully, you didn’t notice the boys in the water stopping to watch you, or you would have been too self conscious and put your dress back on.

Jeongin turned to Jisung and Felix who were in the water with him, “You guys help her pick that out?”

“Yeah.” “Uh huh”

The youngest boy gulped, “thank you for your service.” and saluted them.

“You’re so dumb.” Seungmin tried to push the alpha under the water and thus the play fighting resumed.

It was about an hour later, you were still sitting on the beach though now laying on a towel sunbathing, facing the water so you could still watch the boys all have fun. Now it was just you and Minho left not in the water, the beta still keeping his shirt on also. He had brought you a lemonade a few minutes ago now he was sitting on his own towel a few feet away with a book. You had asked him why he’s not in there with everyone else, and he told you with a grimace he ‘wasn’t much of a swimmer’. It was a comfortable silence for both of you now as you laid in the sun.

Changbin was exiting the water and coming up to the cooler, grabbing a bottle of water and coming to stand next to you. “Aren’t you comin in, babes?” He asked you after taking a drink.

Seeing Changbin shirtless and dripping wet was an ethereal sight. His body was like a well oiled machine, and it was very apparent just how hard he worked on it. You almost had to wipe the drool from your mouth. “Uh” you looked at the water then back to him, trying to pretend you hadn’t just been gawking at him. “I’m thinkin about it.”

The alpha smirked, noticing your roaming eyes. “Are you nervous?” You gave him a timid nod, not hiding it from him. “Come on, I can hold on to you the whole time.” He held his hand out for you to take.

You felt a little unsure, “do you promise?” you held your pinky out for him to swear.

He looped his with yours, “promise.” you let him help you up. “I won’t let you drown, baby.”

Changbin led you to the water, him stepping in first then gently guiding you in with him. The cool water felt good on your heated skin, a sigh of content escaping you as he brought you slowly into the lake.

The group was a few meters out, the water up to their chests. When you got closer to them you clung to Changbin, the depth getting to your nerves. He let you wrap your legs around him as he carried you and giggled at you.

“Look who decided to join us.” Seungmin splashed you, causing you to shriek. “I can hold you if you want, baby.” He had an evil glint in his eye, making grabby hands at you.

“No way! You’ll probably try to drown me!” You clung harder onto Changbin.

“I wouldn’t let him drown you, my love.” Chan swam up, splashing Seungmin.

“Not if I drown you first!” The beta tried to shove Chan under the water and the alpha retaliated and pushed him away with a laugh, clearly not threatened.

Changbin started waddling away, “Lets get the fuck outta this nonsense before Seungmin really does drown Channie and I have to step in. I don’t wanna be liable for that.”

You couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if something happened to your mate? Would Changbin take over as next head of the pack since he's the second oldest alpha? Something tells you Minho especially would not blindly follow behind a younger male. God forbid anything ever happen to your alpha, the thought alone gave you a deep pain in your chest.

‘Stop being so fucking negative all the time. Nothing is ever going to happen to Chan.’ You mentally chastised yourself, shaking your head to dispel the corruptive thoughts.

Felix, Hyunjin and Jeongin were a little further out, and you thought Changbin was taking you over to that group but instead he shuffled to the left and went over to a cluster of boulders that were sticking out of the water.

“Where we goin, Binnie?” you asked, still holding tight. The rest of the pack were getting further from as he went but still in sight.

“Just wanted you to myself for a little while, sweet thing.”

“Aww.” You pinched his cheek, “you’re the sweet one, Binnie. Carrying me around.”

He giggled, “I’m just protecting my omega, from every threat even waist deep water.” You could feel your heart swell at his sentiment, knowing he was being completely honest. He set you on a rock that was low enough for you to climb on, then climbed up to sit next to you.

“Your omega, huh?” You tried for a teasing tone but the crack in your voice betrayed you.

Bin scratched the back of his neck and looked away with a deep red on his face. He cleared this throat, “uh well, the pack omega.”

You scooted closer to him, so your thighs were touching, “that means you’re right, I’m yours too Binnie.” He made a choked sound, and cleared his throat again. There was a sudden confidence you weren’t familiar with coursing through you, it made you bold enough to make a move on him. “Binnie..” you set your hand on his thigh. Even though he had just come out of the cool water, his skin was burning hot under your touch.

“Uh, yeah, baby?” he could feel his dick twitch at the simplest of touches from you.

“I’m just really grateful to have you and I care about you a lot.” you leaned closer but he just groaned and let his head fall.

“Fuck baby, you can’t just say things like that.”

“Why not? It’s true. You said it yourself, your omega.”

He let out a growl mixed with a groan, he lifted his head and his hungry gaze met yours. “ Better be careful, or I’m gonna fall in love with you.” He reached his hand out to cup your cheek.

Now your face was the one heating up, “Would that be such a bad thing?” it came out like a whisper as you leaned even closer. Changbin now was tilting his head closer to you, his eyes falling to your lips.

“Too late.” He closed the gap between you and your lips met. Changbins lips were incredibly soft. He hadn’t been forceful like you thought he would be as an alpha, instead he pressed your mouths together with a gentleness you hadn’t expected. Almost as if he was scared to break you.

You were the one to press closer to him, opening your lips slightly to encourage him to take it further. He took the hint, letting his hand grip your face a little tighter and his tongue enter your mouth. Changbin tasted woodsy, almost similar to Chan but Changbin was more smokey. It complimented his musky scent, both corresponding to make your head spin.

There was a faint ‘whoop whoop’ heard that startled you both, causing you to pull away from him. Back on the beach Jisung and Minho were making kissy faces and hollering at you and Bin.

“Grow up!” Changbin called to them, flipping them off while they laughed. You were about to flip them off too but then your eyes zeroed in on Felix sitting in the sand behind them, a drink in his hand, and the most pained expression on his face as he watched you and Changbin. It made your heart ache.

“Hey Binnie?” you asked tentatively.

“Huh? Yeah baby?” He turned to you , bringing his hands back down.

“Umm,” you twiddle your fingers a bit, “ can we maybe go back to camp for a while?”

He followed your gaze to see the young beta looking forlorn, “yeah baby, we can.” He hopped off the rock into the water, and lifted his arms to grab you again. You scooted down enough to let him take you in his hold once more, and the alpha carried you to shore. “It’s probably after noon by now, if you're getting hungry can we go get some lunch from camp?” He suggested.

You nodded, “That sounds great.” He set you down only when his feet touched the shore. Together you walked up the beach to grab your towels. The three betas were still chilling there under the sunshade, Minho cooing at you both when you approached and Jisung continuing his kissy faces. “Alright calm down you children.” you laughed pushing Ji away as he pinched your cheek after handing you your towel.

“You guys are jealous it’s not you getting precious omega smooches.” Changbin huffed.

“Well, one of us especially is,” Minho let his eyes flitter over to Felix with a devilish smirk. The youngest beta still hadn’t said anything yet, just keeping his gaze ahead at the water.

“You really are an asshole sometimes, hyung.” Changbin rolled his eyes.

“Yeah Min, sometimes you act more alpha than Changbin!” Jisung said with a cackle.

“Now you’re the asshole Han! We were gonna bring back food now I ain’t bringing you shit!” Changbin grabbed your hand and pulled you up towards the trail to the campsite.

“Noooo Binnie please bring me a sandwich!” Jisung whined with a pout.

“Starve!”

Hand in hand you walked up the small trail. The campsite was very close, just unseeable through the trees, undetectable. When the camp was in sight you paused your footsteps, that boldness returning to you now that the prying eyes were gone.

“You alright, babes?” Bin asked, noticing your stopped movements, “Aren’t you hungry?”

“Yeah, I am. But not for food.” ‘What the fuck did I really just say that?!’ Whatever, you said it so now you gotta act on it. You lightly pushed on his chest until his back hit the nearest tree.

“Huh-” you cut him off by pressing your lips against his .He wrapped you in his arms, pressing your body closer to his. This time he wasted no time in shoving his tongue against yours, his battling for dominance- though you didn’t put up much of a fight.

“Mmm” You hummed when he slotted his thigh between your legs, the strong appendage creating some friction on your clothed pussy. As much as you wanted him, you were still too sore to even attempt another alpha inside you. No, right now you just wanted to show him how much you appreciate him for always being so sweet to you. “Mm Bin, hold on.” you mumbled as he started peppering kisses to your neck.

“Hm?” He couldn’t stop, the feel of your soft skin under his lips was addictive. He wanted to run his lips and tongue along every square inch of your body, to taste every drop of nectar you provided. The alpha knew you must be so, so sweet.

“Binnie,” You laid your hands on his chest and gently pushed yourself off of him, his lips chased after you causing you to giggle. “I wanna try something.”

“You can do whatever you want, baby. I’ll give you anything you desire.” He meant it wholeheartedly.

You still had your towel around you so you let it fall to the forest floor below you, and keeping eye contact with him you slowly sunk to your knees onto the towel. “Anything?” You were trying so damn hard to keep your nerves in check. You let your hands find his thick thighs, massaging them as you observed his dick growing in his shorts.

“Anything.” He reiterated with a gulp. Changbin couldn’t take his eyes off your sultry gaze, awaiting your next move. He could tell you were doing your best to keep up a sexy facade and if he was being honest it was totally doing it for him. Anything you do does it for him, really. Blood was rushing further into his cock no matter what you did.

You took a deep breath as you let your fingers trail up his thighs and up to the waistband of his swim trunks. You tried to slow your racing heart as you looped your pointer fingers under the hem. You steeled your nerves and tugged down the still damp fabric down to his knees.

Holy shit

Changbins cock was huge. Thick. Maybe not as long as Chans but Changbin made up for it in girth. ‘These alphas are gonna kill me one day.’

His tip already had a slow bead of precum coming from it as it stood straight up awaiting your attention.

Your mouth was working quicker than your brain. “I don’t think that’s gonna fit in my mouth.”

You both paused for a second, looking at each other like you both couldn’t believe you said it, before both of you burst into a sputtering laughter. His jolting was causing his dick to jump and slap against his stomach, the sight of it in your face was making you laugh harder and in return Changbin did too. It took a full minute to get out the giggles out of both of your systems.

“If it’s too big for you baby, you don’t have to. I know you may not be able to handle it.” Bin said, catching his breath. He wasn’t being facetious but you still narrowed your eyes at the unspoken challenge.

You tentatively reached out and took a firm grasp of his member. You could barely wrap your hand around it. The alpha immediately let out a pained groan, throwing his head back against the bark of the tree. Even the smallest of touches from you was overwhelming.

You sat up further on your knees as you let your hand stroke over him, trying to find a rhythm. You had never come face to face with the phallic appendage like you were now, and now that you were down here with it in your hand you were starting to get more and more intimidated.

With a final deep breath you leaned your face closer and placed a gentle kiss on the head. He let out a whimper at the contact of your soft lips. His little sound was encouragement for you to go further. You slowly parted your lips and slid his tip into your mouth, his precum tantalizing your tastebuds. You let out a low hum at the salty taste.

Changbin kept his hands at his sides, letting you go at your own pace, but fuck was it so hard. His instincts were fighting against each other. His dominant alpha side wants to just claim your mouth and make you choke on it, the other part of him wanting to coo at you and take care of your needs instead. He should have known this was taking care of your needs. You were growing to love the feel of him in your mouth.

He couldn’t help but put his hands on your head when you attempted to take him further into your wet mouth. His girth was a stretch but you were determined. You had seen how it was supposed to be done, you may have been inexperienced but you had still seen porn before.

You eased him as far back into your mouth as he could go, activating your gag reflex as you choked on him.

“FUCK baby! Careful, you're gonna make me blow my load if you keep doing that.” He moaned out when he felt your throat constricting around him. Your mouth was so wet and hot, he could almost imagine your pussy being the same.

You slowly bobbed your head on him, letting out little hums of satisfaction when the alpha began moaning and panting. He kept his hands stationary on the back of your head, but he almost lost it when you looked up at him through your lashes with glossy eyes, and drools started to leak out of the sides of your mouth around him.

“Oh my fucking god, you are the sexiest thing I have ever seen.” He wanted to cry when you hollowed your cheeks and a gurgle came from you with all of the saliva that was accumulating. “God damn how are you so good at this? Nughh wanna live inside your mouth.”

You giggled around him and his hands responded by gripping your hair, causing you to groan. He couldn’t help but lightly guide your head as you sucked on him. You only wanted to please him so you let him do as he wished, you were getting what you wanted either way.

Rambling seemed to be a theme with these boys as Changbin started to spew all his thoughts and feelings out for you while you sucked him off. “ F-fuck your so perfect. Wanna give you everything, wanna take care of you ‘mega.” you let out a whimper of your own. “You wan’ tha’ baby? You wan’ Binnie to take care of you forever? Mmmm yeah I know you do. That’s all I want, omega, all I need. Wanna love on you and build you a big house and- and- fuck- wanna show you what a good alpha I can be.”

Tears gathered on your lash line; either from his endearing sentiment or this thick cock bullying the back of your throat you didn't know. All you did know was how bad you wanted him to cum for you. With all the sweet talking he was doing he deserved it. Your hand found the base of his shaft that you couldn’t fit and you began to stroke him, trying to match movements with your mouth.

“Oh my god im gonna cum, baby your gonna make me fucking cum.” His hips drilled just a little harder as he chased his high. “ mmm you want me to cum in your pretty little mouth? Wan’ your alpha to feed you his seed baby? Nnnuuhgg don’t worry m’ gonna give it to you, Alpha is gonna give it all to his omega.” He pushed you onto him one last time causing you to choke and that was the last push he needed, letting go and a flood of his essence filled your mouth. His eyes rolled back into his head as curses and moans came cascading out of him. The thick knot on the base was inflated fully as he came, luckily your mouth couldn’t reach that far on him.

His load was enough that it was spilling out the sides of your lips, even as you swallowed all you could. You didn’t mind the taste of it, but the feeling was definitely going to take some getting used too. You let him catch his breath and you removed his now softening member from your mouth.

Bin looked down at you with blown out pupils to the hottest thing he had ever seen; you on your knees with teary eyes, lips puffy and red coated in saliva and semen. Fuck he wished he had his phone on him to take a picture. He’d make it his home screen.

“Damn baby…” He puffed out, petting the back of your head affectionately. “You sure you’re not some kind of secret porn star? Cuz that can’t have been the first time you’ve done that.”

It took roughly five more minutes after getting off Changbin that a search party came looking for the two of you. Jisung was worried you had been eaten by a bear. At the sight of you both, changbin looking fucked out and you with puffy lips, Seungmin had retorted with ‘well something definitely got eaten’. Because of course he did. Slowly everyone started to trickle back to the campsite, all hungry and most sunburned.

Night came quickly and by then the fire was lit and roasting hotdogs ‘so cliche’ while everyone had a beer in hand; or maybe two or three (5 +). Everyone was feeling good and laughing. You had even had a few drinks of your own, the alcohol making you incredibly tipsy and feeling relaxed. Chan was keeping an eye on how much you were consuming but overall was letting you let loose. At least you had changed into your sweats and hoodie so the mosquitos wouldn’t get you before you started drinking.

You hadn’t drinken in a while - the last time being a few months ago at your old best friend's house and that was mostly a glass of wine while you watched the oscars- so it had you feeling giggly and light.

Everyone was kind of doing their own shenanigans. Jisung and Changbin were having a drunken rap battle, neither of them coming up with anything intellectual or even coherent. Hyunjin and Felix were having a heated discussion about the importance of proper hair care. Minho was slurring through an explanation of how to cook the perfect hotdog to an equally as drunk Jeongin. Then there was Chan who was strumming a guitar as Seungmin tugged you up from your spot next to the alpha to dance with him.

“I can’t dance!” You tried to resist but your grin gave you away. Seungmin scoffed and yanked you up anyways.

“Like I care if you can, the fact is you will.” He grabbed both your hands and spun you around, then pulled you closer to give you a light kiss. The kindest touch he’s given you yet. He then grabbed you like he was trying to waltz with you, both of you not knowing the correct moves and just stepping all over each other. You were honestly having a great time, until Seungmin being himself couldn’t resist ruining the mood. “You know he’s only making an example out of Felix, right?”

You were caught in a whirlwind at his sudden declaration, “huh? What the fuck does that mean?” you tried to pull away but he kept hold of you, giving you his predacious smirk.

“Chan.” He said it like it was obvious, “He’s using Felix’s fuck up to not only teach him a lesson but teach all of us a lesson. It’s really not cute of him.” He wouldn’t have ever brought it up if he wasn't inebriated, but when the beta had alcohol in him he became even more unsufferable.

“What’s really not cute is that you're saying this right now, Seungmin.” You rolled your eyes at him.

“No but you know what is cute? I mean other than you.” He spun you again so you would be facing Jeongin. “Our poor Innie hasn’t been able to take his eyes off of you since we started dancing. Isn’t that cute? I think he has a crush on you.”

You locked eyes with the mentioned Alpha and he looked away quickly, as if he was ashamed at being caught staring. He did that quite a lot. Stared at you in awe hoping you wouldn’t notice. He also avoided being around you just as often. In your drunken state you were starting to grow self conscious at the reason.

“I don’t think he likes me very much, Minnie.” You mumbled, looking back at the beta who had you in his arms.

“Are you joking?” He snickered, “Oh I think he likes you way more than you know.” He let go of you and gave your butt a harsh smack in the direction of the seated younger male. “Why don’t you go ask him and see for yourself, huh? Give us some entertainment.”

You huffed, “Maybe I will ask him. But not for you, for me!” you marched over to Jeongin with intent as Seungmin cackled watching you go.

Jeongin had been avoiding your eyes so he hadn’t noticed you were coming to him until you plopped yourself down in his lap. He gasped as you seated yourself on him, eyes wide with surprise and his body freezing in place.

“Hi Innie.”

“Uhhh” He was at a loss for words, his brain failing to work the second you touched him.

“Can I ask you a question?” The alcohol you had consumed was making you feel emboldened. Tomorrow when you're sober you will be humiliated. Oh well it will be worth it to get to the bottom of his avoidance.

Jeongin cleared his throat, his face felt like a furnace with how it was heating up. “Umm yeah, yeah you can as-ask me a question.”

“I’ve kinda been noticing you avoid me sometimes…” You started, hesitantly. You didn’t wanna make him upset but you were genuinely curious. “And I’ve kinda been wondering why..”

He bit his lip when you shifted in his lap, already losing his mind and you haven’t even done anything. He still hadn’t put his hands on you, holding them out so they wouldn’t touch. He let out a shaky breath, “ I don’t avoid you, Y/n.”

“Well maybe not technically, but I don’t know, it doesn’t seem like you want to be around me. You seem almost… pained when I’m around.” You were fighting back a pout but your lips did it anyway, having a mind of their own sometimes.

The alpha boy wanted nothing more than to bite those pouty lips, to feel the soft flesh between his teeth. “Fuck” he accidently whispered.

“Huh?”

“N-nothing! Uh it’s complicated, Y/n.”

Your pout grew bigger, “but why is it complicated? Do you- do you not like me?” You leaned away, wanting to cry suddenly. “Is it because of the thing that happened when I was on my heat?”

Jeongin looked at you like you've burned him with your question, eyes shooting to yours in panic. “That's not it at all! Don’t say things like that!” Now you were the shocked one, not expecting his outburst. “Fuck, ok what I mean is, no of course not. I like you Y/n. Maybe too much..” He mumbled that last bit and in your inebriation you almost missed it. Key word being almost.

“Why too much, Innie? Isn’t it a good thing that you like me?” You wiped your tear that fell, then let your face fall into his chest.

He let out a quiet groan at your action, the smell of you weakening his resolve. He knew it would be embedded in his sweater for days to come. “You want me to be honest?” You nodded against him. “I have a hard time controlling myself around you. You make me almost feral. Everything about you is intoxicating. So yeah it’s kinda complicated.”

You let out an involuntary purr, his statement making you suddenly needy. You tightened your hold on him and pulled your face up to meet his. He was searching your face for some kind of disgust but was distracted by the pleased scent flooding out of you. It was making his brain foggy.

“Can I be honest now?” He nodded back at you, “ I really like you, Innie. And I don’t want you to hide away from me. Ok?” He nodded again, eyes closing as he was dragged further into your appeal. “Can-can I maybe kiss you?”

“Uhh, ye-yeah. Maybe a little.”

You leaned in closer to his face and pressed a soft peck to his lips. His hands shot to your waist when you pulled away from him, dragging you back to his mouth as he attempted to devour you. You let out a squeal from the action, catching the attention of Chan who was across the fire still strumming on his guitar.

As if they had a mind of their own your hips gave an involuntary grind on his lap and he growled in response, tightening his hold. Before he could take it any further, you were suddenly yoinked out of his hold and into the arms of Chan.

“Alrighty, that's enough of that. You’re both too drunk for this right now. You can resume in the morning when you're sober.” Chan said as he lifted you off of the younger alpha. “Time for bed, omega.”

You whined but didn’t fight it, letting him scoop you with no resistance. Jeongin almost growled at his alpha, but the sensible part of him knew that was a terrible idea. Look what happened to Felix when he disobeyed.

“Goodnight, baby.” He managed to get out in his stupor. He’s gonna be thinking about you all night.

“Night Innie.” You waved at him, then waved to the other boys as you passed them while Chan carried you to your shared tent. “Night boys! Love you!” you called out. There was a cluster of goodnights and love you too’s.

Chan chuckled, “You love them all huh, baby?” he set you down on the plethora of blankets he made sure to pack for you.

“Mmhmm, I do, Alpha.” Once you were wrapped up in the comfort you felt yourself grow drowsy. “Love ‘em all s’ much.”

Chan got into the blankets with you, letting you curl into him. He placed a kiss on your head as you drifted off. “They love you too, so much.”

You were out like a light.

A/N:AHHH I've had that changbin scene in my head for months before I even started this series so im pretty excited about it lol. The lake pic used above is a pic of the actual lake I live by, any guesses which one it is?

Comments and reblogs are very much appreciated!

Also if any one wants to chat about the story or share predictions please send me an ask!!

Beta read by my wonderful bumble bee @ayejaii

Taglist- Closed

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benedictscanvas · 3 months

Text

silly, lovely fool - remus lupin x reader

pairing: remus lupin x fem!reader

word count: 0.5k she’s just a baby

warnings: i went HAM on the pet names, apologies if that’s not your thing but i think they’re sweet :(

a/n: i have nothing interesting to say, except i am in such a little remus cocoon rn. please enjoy this little blurb and let me know your ideas for any others <3

- - -

“You’re so silly,” you murmur, so quietly you wonder if he hears you. He gives no indication. His cheek is pushed firmly into your hand, and he’s just staring at you through his lashes, eyes flirting across your face and back again. Looking up at you between his legs as he sits on the lid of the toilet, and he still looks at you like that.

“Remus,” you admonish lightly, “I said, you’re so silly.”

“I know,” he hums, “But I’m busy.”

“Doing what?”

“Looking at you. Always looking at you.”

“Remus,” you say again, more warning in it this time. He sighs, and you feel the warmth of it across your wrist. You have to fight a shiver.

“You’re ruining it. Shush.”

It’s against your better judgement to give in to him, but you stop talking anyway. It’s nice to look at him too, even though he laughs when you tell him so. It’s not as nice as it usually is right now - there’s still flecks of dried blood under his nose from the nosebleed that had only just cleared up, and a nasty bruise forming on the bridge. You wince and he sighs again.

“I’d rather you speak than look at me like that,” he says, finding your hip with his free hand.

“You shushed me,” you argue and he pinches your hip, “I just- you’re an idiot. A silly man.”

“You said that already, my darling girl.”

You scrunch up your nose at the endearment. He always thinks he can talk his way out of anything with you. It’s because he always can.

“I still think you could have pulled me out of the way without getting hit yourself.”

“I had to think on my feet,” he argues, but his tone is passive and his thumb is rubbing circles around your hipbone, “My favourite face was in danger.”

You shake your head at him.

“So pull me towards you, dork. Don’t jump into the path of a bludger.”

“A small sacrifice,” he murmurs, reaching up to trace a featherlight line down the slope of your nose, over your cupid’s bow, lips, then tapping your chin twice.

“A silly sacrifice,” you push, but your heart isn’t in it anymore either. He’s so pretty, nosebleed or no, and he thinks you’re pretty enough to take a bludger to the face for you. Lovely man.

“Okay, I’m silly,” he says lazily, “Very very silly for you. Mad for you, stupid for you. A total fool.”

“Remus,” you mumble to stop him, pulling his face upwards towards yours to plant a chaste kiss to his lips. You don’t want him to hurt any more than he is already. You’re ever so fond of him.

“Sweetheart,” he says, millimetres from you, “I’m feeling awful better now. Think I could kiss you properly?”

“I think you should count your lucky stars that I’m kissing you at all, handsome.”

And with that you step out of his reach, because otherwise he’ll most certainly convince you. He reaches for you but comes up short as you move to throw away the bloody tissues. His arm hangs limp in the air between you.

“I do feel lucky,” he affirms, “Look at that face. All perfect and everything. I did that.”

“Yes you did. Thank you, by the way. My hero.”

You decide to let him have this one. He’s too genuine to tease much more.

“Anytime. You just shout, gorgeous.”

You bark out a laugh as you return to him, pressing a kiss to the top of his head, then another.

“You’re such a flirt,” you speak into his hair, pulling back to look at him and unable to keep yourself from smiling.

He just grins.

#remus lupin x reader #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin fanfiction #remus x reader #remus lupin #marauders x reader

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celtic-crossbow · 15 days

Text

Blood Ties Chapter 30

Series Masterlist

Warnings: Somewhat graphic depictions of afterbirth; Breastfeeding; Newborn bodily functions; Scars and allusions to past child abuse.

A/N: Fuck me sideways, I have struggled to write since all this shit in my personal life. This chapter is pretty boring but I guess there are some fluffy aspects. And Thumper gets a name.

The tiny creature that had just been shrieking in Hershel’s grasp, was now rooting around angrily while you studied every perfect little inch of her. Her skin was pink beneath the drying, waxy mess of vernix caseosa—or whatever Hershel had called it—and blood. The old man had said if he had to guess, he would put her at about six pounds. Hilarious since she felt like she weighed thirty while you carried her.

Her round little face scrunched up before she wailed again, disturbed from her meal-seeking venture by Carol leaning around Daryl to drape a blanket over her. When you looked up to smile at him, you found the archer studying his baby like he wasn’t quite certain about something.

“What is it?” You asked, moving the blanket a little so he could see her better.

“S’just—” He reached toward the bundle but withdrew. “Feels like—feels like she ain’t real.” You could see the tears brimming on his waterline, crystal droplets shining beneath the pale yellow illuminance of the van’s interior overhead light; how he would squint instead of blink in an attempt to keep them from falling.

“Daryl, you—ow.” You placed your hand on your lower abdomen, finding it tight within a cramp even if the skin itself was slightly looser.

“Ow?” Daryl appeared panicked but was desperately trying to keep himself together. He wasn’t doing a very good job. It was so odd to see him constantly grappling for control over his emotions when he had always—for the time you’d known him—been so careful not to allow too much to show.

The veterinarian checked the cord to find it no longer pulsing. The contractions you were having now were mild cramps compared to before, Hershel advising you that you would need to give up your hold on Thumper to deliver the afterbirth. The archer watched as you handed off Thumper to Maggie. You wondered if he even realized why you hadn’t given him a chance to hold his daughter yet. Regardless, it was immediately apparent he hadn’t been listening in the slightest—

“Just an easy push, Y/N.”

“Wait! What?!” Daryl shouted. Meanwhile, you were clenching your fists and bearing down. It wasn’t the worst pain but considering you had just pushed a tiny human out of the same opening, you were a tad bit sore.

“Good, good. I can see it. One more push.”

Daryl’s hand wrapped around one of your fists. You uncurled your fingers and let his slip between them. “See what?! The fuck she pushin’ again for?” The archer gave no time for anyone to answer that particular question before he was crawling and leaning above the space between your knees—just in time for the placenta to exit your body while you groaned through the discomfort. “What the flyin’ blue fuck s’that?!”

“It’s alright, son.”

“It’s okay, Daryl.” Carol repeated.

The archer had gone white again, swaying slightly and swallowing convulsively while scooting back toward you on his ass. You tugged gently on his hand before anyone else could interfere. “Hey, tough guy. Look at her.” God, you were exhausted but keeping your partner grounded was your priority. He had a baby to meet. Daryl’s eyes shifted to you and then behind you to the infant over which Maggie was currently gushing.

“She’s perfect.” The elder Greene daughter chuckled through her own tears.

The hunter stared at Thumper, the color slowly returning to his skin. “Rick!” He belted out suddenly. “We clear?”

“All clear for now.” The former deputy called back, even though there was little more than five feet separating them.

“Good. Stop.”

“Stop?” Rick glanced back over his shoulder, once and then again. “Shouldn’t we—”

“Stop the van.” This time Daryl barked the command, growing irritated. He gently extricated his hand from yours, moved toward the door, and wrapped his fingers around the handle. It was obvious he was waiting for the vehicle to come to a halt.

“Daryl, what the hell are you doing?” You queried while trying to divide your attention between him and Thumper being placed back against your skin. The baby began to squeak, working up to another bout of shrill cries before you shifted her, trying your hand at offering up a breast without any guidance. When her tiny mouth latched onto your nipple immediately, you felt a tugging sensation, but no pain like you had actually expected.

“You’re a natural!” Carol exclaimed through her own tears and sniffles.

Before you could offer comfort while the other woman was obviously distraught—likely reminiscing of the times just after the birth of Sophia—the van jolted to a stop and Daryl was opening the door, jumping out with his bag and crossbow, and closing it before you could say a word.

“What’s happening?” You sat up just a little, your eyes wide. “Where’s he going? Rick?”

“Stay still. Relax.” Maggie cooed, dragging a finger tenderly down Thumper’s cheek. “Let her nurse. I’m sure Daryl’s got his reasons.” You nodded even though you weren’t truly satisfied with the answer. You were just simply too exhausted to think about it any further. Carol started handing Maggie blankets to roll up behind you. “We’re gonna getcha all cleaned up and as comfortable as we can until we can find somewhere safer, okay?”

“Just wrap this up until Daryl gets back.” Hershel spoke softly, placing a bloody blob of something onto a large piece of cloth before handing it to Carol. The sac was connected to Thumper by the slimy cord.

“Do you think he’ll want to?” The other woman whispered. Sight and sound were starting to fizzle out. Your body was demanding rest, all reserves depleted. Thumper was suckling away, making the sweetest little snorting breaths between gulps. Maggie was wiping the sweat from your face and neck, sweeping the fabric back and forth over every inch of skin she could reach.

Hershel and Carol worked together to clean up the mess between your legs, the area swollen and sore and thank god you were so exhausted or that would have really hurt. When you opened your eyes again, you were covered with a blanket and Thumper was gone from your chest.

“Thumps?!” You bolted upright, caught halfway by Hershel’s gentle hands on your shoulders.

“She’s fine. You were quite out of it when she finished. Maggie tried to burp her but breastfed newborns don’t always need it. Now she’s there with Carol, getting cleaned up the best we can without warm water. The vernix caseosa can stay on her skin until she can have a good warm bath. It won’t do any harm. We just thought she could do without the other fluids.”

You nodded tiredly. “How long did I sleep?”

“Only about half an hour.” Carol answered, shuffling on her knees with the baby in her arms. “Rick grabbed the diapers from the truck and checked on everyone. She’s such a tiny thing, the newborn size almost swallows her.” She pulled the blanket away to place the baby against your skin and then covered her again with the small receiving blanket. Once Thumper settled, Carol pulled the thicker blanket over both of you.

You felt your expression light up—casting shadows over your exhaustion—at the sight of that little face. God, she was tiny. The lack of blood revealed wisps of blonde hair, still molded flat in some places by the waxy covering. You could already see so much of Daryl in her that it—

“Where’s Daryl?”

As if summoned by his name on your lips, the van door opened to reveal the archer, clearly shivering. He tossed his bag and crossbow to the side and climbed in, rubbing his hands up and down his sleeved arms. He was clean, his hair wet while the strands appeared damn near frozen. His dirty clothing—vest and poncho included—was missing, likely in his pack.

“Daryl Dixon, are you trying to end up with pneumonia again?!” Carol admonished. She shoved his bag out of the way quickly and tossed the last larger blanket around his shoulders.

“C-c-couldn’a held ‘er like I w-w-was, right?” His teeth legitimately chattered, his gaze leaving Carol to look you over. “D-doin’ alright?”

You narrowed your eyes above the ghost of a smile. “Did you really go find a body of water to take a bath in the middle of winter?”

“W-wouldn’a left ya but w-was d-d-dirty. Wanted t-to—wanna hold ‘er.” Once again, he was pale as milk but there was some color slowly seeping into his cheeks. Hershel wasn’t freaking out over his current state, so—contrary to the pressure threatening to choke you from the inside—you wouldn’t either. Daryl ran his tongue over colorless lips and ducked his head. “If that’s alr-right?”

Your mouth fell open, your brow furrowing while you blinked at him. Did he just— “Daryl, she’s your daughter. Of course you can hold her.” You were already moving an arm from beneath Thumper’s miniscule weight. When your hand found his, you pulled back with a hiss. “Maybe just get a little warmer first though, okay?” The archer nodded, but he still looked so uncertain.

Hershel cleared his throat. He had remained still and silent throughout the exchange but then slowly crept down to sit on his knees at your hip. “In the meantime.” With a gesture toward Carol, he held out his hands. The cloth-clad placenta was placed onto his palms. It had apparently just been traveling around with Thumper wherever she roamed within the van. “Would you like to cut the cord, son?”

Still shivering but teeth no longer clicking together, Daryl’s expression molded into equal parts disgust and confusion. “The hell would I wanna do that?”

“It’s a tradition.” The old man explained. Carol was busy cleaning her knife with some rubbing alcohol. “It marks the start of life outside of the mother, when the father can begin to be physically involved in caring for the baby.”

The hunter brought his left thumb to his mouth, chewing on the side, granting a physical form to his inner anxiety. “Don’t it hurt ‘er?” You were curious as well, and you looked away from your partner to await the answer.

“There are no nerves in the cord. She won’t feel a thing.”

Daryl drew back when Carol presented him with the knife. He looked to you. You shrugged a shoulder, careful not to jar Thumper. “It’s your decision.”

“Must be done. It doesn’t matter if it’s you or myself.” Hershel added.

Lowering his hand from his teeth, Daryl eyed the knife. It was clear that he didn’t believe he wasn’t going to hurt his daughter. His thumb was replaced by his lower lip, jaw inching back and forth to gnaw at it earnestly. Without a word, he reached for the knife. Carol offered him a smile that he unsurprisingly didn’t return.

“Where do—how does it—”

“I’ll help you.” The veterinarian reassured, balancing the organ on top of one hand while the other lifted the cord. “Right between the tape.”

“Don’t that leave some’a it?” Daryl’s throat was visibly working as he swallowed.

“That will dry up and fall off. I’ll show you both how to care for it until that happens.”

The exhale was audible, undoubtedly something he didn’t intend but also didn’t take notice. Daryl’s hand was shaking, the blade carefully pressed to slice upward and away from the skin of your newborn. You held your breath, afraid any movement or sound would cause her to stir. If Daryl accidentally nicked her, there’d be no consoling him.

The cut was clean and quick, Thumper remaining sound asleep throughout. Your head tipped back against your pillow of blankets, relief flooding through you in a tingling wave that left you once again feeling wrung out. Half an hour was not enough. You wanted to sleep for days.

Turning your head was a chore, but worth it. Daryl was ignoring everything that was happening below the two of you, his eyes dancing between you and his daughter. “I know.” You whispered. His gaze found yours. “She’s finally here.” He nodded, his lips slightly parted with words he couldn’t seem to articulate. “It’s a lot, Daryl. I know. It’s okay.”

He was trembling, but you were certain it was no longer from the cold. His entire world had just changed. He was a father, and—judging by the look on his face, the turmoil in his pretty eyes—he was terrified.

“Do you wanna hold her?” Your question was met with a sharp inhale, his spine straightening.

“I—”

You were already shifting the baby, shushing and cooing when she squeaked and stretched in protest.

“You should bond with her too, Daryl.” Carol was sitting against the interior wall, looking her own personal sort of tired. “If you feel comfortable, um—” She turned her head to look away entirely, staring at the opposite wall. “You should let her lay against your skin.”

Bless him, he looked as though he might hyperventilate. “What if—she might—don’t wanna scare ‘er.” Daryl stared at Thumper, her little head moving back and forth as you offered her to him. You wouldn’t tell him the baby was too little to be scared. That would only leave him wondering if she’d be afraid of him later, when she was older. He was so convinced that his scars would make his daughter fear him.

That anger you had felt before, the inferno of rage that had boiled beneath your ribs—it was back. Had they been still alive, you would strangle those people that had hurt him, scarred him so deeply. Beyond physical. But they were dead. And you were there. You would do your damnedest to show him a different perspective. That he was good and not a product of his father’s anger or his mother’s absence. That he was loved.

“She isn’t afraid and she won’t be, not of you.” You vowed, pulling Thumper in against your own chest once more. With a hand then free, you raised the blanket and slid over with a grunt. The pain wasn’t horrible but you were definitely sore. “Get under here with me first.”

Maybe one day, he would be beyond the urge to hide that part of himself. Until then, however, you were more than content to help him find any measure of comfort you could offer.

Daryl hesitated, giving you a quick once over. “Won’t hurtcha?”

You smiled, small and tired but genuine. “No. Now get under here. Don’t make me drag you while holding a newborn. You know I can do it.” You challenged playfully. Maybe you could lighten the atmosphere. With a pfft, he took the blanket from your hand and shed the one around his shoulders, his eyes darting over to Hershel and Carol. They had knowingly turned their backs. You almost wished they would leave but having someone knowledgeable there was a comfort you weren’t ready to be without. You had no idea what you were doing. Once he was settled, you did your best to pull up the blanket until he took over. “Unbutton your shirt?”

“Dunno if—”

“She already loves you, Daryl. You were the one to calm her down when she was river dancing on my intestines. Just—try?” He sighed, his fingers slowly working open the buttons before stalling. “If you’re too uncomfortable with it, we’ll fix it, okay? I’ll take her and then you can put her on top of your shirt.”

The deep breath he took trembled but he continued until he could part his shirt enough for his chest to be visible. Even with only your eyes on him, he began to exhibit obvious anxiety.

“It’s only me.” You whispered while maneuvering Thumper. He could actually hold her later, when there weren’t four of you cramped up in the back of an old van with stow-and-go seats.

The man looked like he was two seconds from sliding out from beneath the blanket and bolting—until the moment the baby’s skin finally touched his own. His wide eyes drained of any trace of fear to make room for awe.

“Holy fuck.”

Watching him closely, those two words were meant to be part of the internal monologue he had going on inside his head. His calloused hands had never looked so gentle, laying across Thumper’s back. He immediately lifted one and placed the other there instead with the previous palm resting on her little diapered bottom.

“She s’posed to be this small?” His voice cracked. You turned onto your side, slowly and stiffly, while he silently let his gaze wander over to watch you move. Wiggling to find a comfortable position, you settled with your head on his shoulder and your fingertips brushing repeatedly over Thumper’s head.

“Hershel said she probably weighs around six pounds.”

“S’that okay?” His thumb was swiping back and forth through the slightly darker blonde hair on the back of the baby’s head.

“She’s perfect.”

“Yeah.” He agreed, quietly. His head was tilted, angled to be able to see the little face of the human he helped create. “I, uh—thank you.” You lifted your head to stare him down, quiet yet questioning. “Y’know—for her.”

Your expression softened. Your hand lifted from Thumper to Daryl’s chin, guiding his head to turn. Stifling the grunt of discomfort that moving caused, you shimmied up just enough to press your lips to his. It was chaste but no less passionate.

“None of that for at least six weeks. Minimum.” Hershel chided from the back of the van.

Daryl huffed in annoyance, only slightly turning away to bark out “the hell’s ‘er mouth got to do with anythin’?” You laughed in spite of yourself, the action jarring and uncomfortable.

Hershel even chuckled. “I mean no further, son. No intercourse. She needs to heal.”

Damnit. You knew at that very moment, it would take you twelve weeks to coerce Daryl into actual sex. God, if your vagina wasn’t ruined after pushing out a whole human. Oh well, you’d be fine as long as he was still yours. You blinked, eyes glazed and thoughts wandering. He would still want you, right?

“Gotta make things weird, old man? Christ.”

Shaking your head, you pushed those worries aside for later. He was now warm and you had your personal space heater back. You molded yourself to his side and willed your body to relax. Daryl was there. Your little family was safe. Sleep laid its claim on you within moments.

“Claire?” You suggested. Your hand alternated between rubbing and patting the back of the frustrated infant on your shoulder, coaxing out a burp that vibrated your collarbone. Don’t always need it, indeed. While Daryl sat across from you on the bed, rubbing the length of his left index finger across his lips, you adjusted Thumper to the opposite breast. Her little fists were flailing, her face scrunched up and red. The little squeaks and grunts were aplenty as she worked herself up to a squalling cry. “Ssh, here, Thumps.” The moment your nipple rubbed against her cheek, the baby rooted for it eagerly, latching on and suckling with gusto.

“When she scrunches ‘er face like that, she looks like Merle.” Daryl snorted. His expression didn’t show it but his eyes held a distinct shimmer of sadness.

“Wanna name her Merle? Merlene? Marleen?” You almost cackled at the look he pulled. “Okay, okay. I said Claire, grumpy gills.”

“Nah.” He sniffed and briefly glanced toward the window. You could hear the van and truck rolling in, hopefully with more supplies. “Makes me think’a that ear piercin’ place in all the malls.”

You thought about people that you had lost. Maybe you could honor them this way. “Andrea?” Daryl snorted.

“She gonna shoot me when she gets older?” He took a deep breath and balanced his chin on his right palm, elbow pressed into his thigh. “Don’t really feel like she should be a Andrea.”

“Patricia?” You pressed on, stroking Thumper’s cheek with a fingertip. “We could call her Patty?”

“No.”

Your aunt maybe. “My aunt’s name was—actually, no. Nevermind.” This time, it was you that snorted. Daryl shook his head before he turned it back to the window. Thumper had released your nipple, even as her little mouth continued to try and suckle. “Can you burp her while I get all—” you gestured broadly toward your entire self.

“Sure.” He slid off the mattress and leaned down to take his daughter, so carefully maneuvering her against the front of his shoulder. You kept your sights on him as he moved toward the window, offering the baby a little sunlight.

You and Daryl slept in the van until the current safe house had been found. No one even woke the archer to help clear it. Probably because Thumps was still lying on his chest. Carol had been the one to wake the two of you, sending you into the bedroom while she heated as much water as she could for you to properly clean up and then to give the baby a warm bath. Daryl held your daughter while you wiped her down. There was a fire burning in the living room and though you could feel the house slowly warming, neither of you wanted to take any risks. You removed the little knit hat from her head and took care in wiping away the remaining film over her skin. Patting her dry, you replaced the hat and moved on. Each area was bared, cleaned, and covered. You couldn’t help but smile when the archer looked away while you removed the diaper. You made it all the way to her feet before she woke up properly and started trying to suckle Daryl’s thumb. “Barkin’ up the wrong tree, lil’ one. Gonna hafta talk to your mama if you’re hungry.”

And now here you were, tucking away your tits into a nursing bra while your partner rubbed the back of your perfect daughter by a sunlit window. Thumper was in a light blue sleeper onesie and wrapped in a pink blanket— littered with little birds—to make sure she stayed warm.

You didn’t hear her burp but had no doubt that she did if he was taking her from his shoulder to the crook of his right arm. From your vantage point you couldn’t see much but you could tell Daryl was talking to her.

While daddy and daughter were occupied, you laid back on the bed and stretched tired muscles. Your abdomen was still swollen but soft. It was your lady bits that were hot and sore. Forget taking a piss. You had nearly screeched when Daryl had accompanied you earlier, leaving Thumper with Carol. You were bleeding but thank god, Carol had warned you and handed you a couple of pads before you headed out the door. You hadn’t thought anything of it until you were standing over where you had urinated and it looked like a murder scene.

“Jesus, it’s Nightmare on Elm St in my underwear.” You said as you rounded the tree. Daryl looked unamused. “Ya gotta be so—graphic? Good lord.”

“Need to hunt soon.” Daryl spoke suddenly from the window. You sat back up with a wince just as he made his way back to you.

“We have a lot of canned stuff. You don’t need to—”

“Doc said ya need protein to keep makin’ milk for her.”

You didn’t want him to go anywhere. Logically, you knew it made sense. He was the only other hunter besides yourself. Canned veggies wouldn’t do much towards milk production and of course Daryl had asked about it already. Hershel had been pleased that Thumper was appearing satisfied with the colostrum you were producing, but she would need more even within just the next few days.

“When?” You tracked him as he lowered to the edge of the mattress just in front of you. The baby’s little hand was curled around his middle finger and you weren’t sure he cared about anything else enough to divert his attention away from his newborn. “Daryl.” You chuckled.

“Yeah?” He still wasn’t paying attention.

“Purple because aliens don’t wear hats.”

“Mhm.” Had he ever been this distracted? You called his name again amidst a laugh, each syllable bouncing. Finally, he looked up. Straight ahead first, as if forgetting where you were sitting. Then it was over to you. “You say somethin’?”

“Welcome back.”

He mocked a laugh and then deadpanned. “Funny girl.”

Your smile remained steadfast. “When are you going out to hunt?”

“Thought I’d leave in the mornin’. Y’know, stick ‘round to help ya tonight an’ make sure ya both’re all good ‘fore I go. Try to bring back all I can so that—” His mouth was still open, but the words stopped altogether. His brow drew inward. “Think this diaper’s toast.”

Oh god.

The first diaper change.

“Should I get Carol?” You asked in earnest. You had never changed a diaper before and Daryl had never indicated he had any experience either. Still, he shook his head.

“Gotta learn sometime, right? Between the two’a us, how hard can it be?”

The answer: really fucking hard.

“Daryl, you have to look!”

“Don’t feel right to see ‘er—areas.”

“You’re her father and you’re trying to change her. It’s fine. You’re gonna get it all over your hands if you don’t look.”

“S’it s’posed to be that color?”

“How the hell should I know? Can you hand me the wipes?”

“What wipes?”

“You didn’t grab the wipes?”

“No?”

“Was that a question?”

“No?”

“Daryl.”

“Y/N.”

“Get the wipes.”

Twenty minutes later, Thumper was snoozing comfortably on the mattress, wrapped snugly in her blanket without a care in the world. You and Daryl, however, were staring at the small creature, appearing every bit as though you were trapped in the flashbacks of war.

“I don’t think it’s supposed to take that long.” You finally commented.

“Walker guts don’t even look like that.” Daryl’s voice was just as quiet and monotonous as your own.

“It didn’t even smell. Shouldn’t it smell bad?”

“You’re complainin’?”

“Touché.”

When Carol knocked, your heads moved in unison, two sets of wide, troubled eyes landing on the woman in the doorway. Her eyebrows shot upward, lowering slowly as she took in the scene: you and Daryl cross-legged on the mattress. Thumper just a few inches away. Wipes and a rolled up diaper on the floor below the foot of the bed. Her hand flew to her mouth, pressing against it to smother the chuckle that tried so hard to break free.

“You two okay?” She finally asked, clearing her throat.

“We look okay?” Daryl rasped.

She struggled against laughter again. “You look like two first time parents discovering one of the joys of a newborn.”

“We need help.” You were practically pleading, feeling horrible to ask it of the woman who had lost her only child. Daryl’s expression was just as desperate even if he would never grant it a voice.

“Okay, let’s go over the basics.” Carol shook her head fondly and closed the door behind her.

Several feedings and diaper changes later, Thumper was asleep between you and Daryl. Night had stolen the sun and a candle burned on the bedside table behind you. She was so far a quiet baby, only crying when she was hungry and would squeak and grunt when her diaper was soiled.

“Expressing herself in grunts and other noncommittal sounds. She’s totally your kid.” You teased. “Shuddup.”

Daryl’s hand was on the baby’s stomach, likely just as much for his benefit as hers. He was dozing, making a valiant effort to stay awake with little success. You were just as tired but you couldn’t seem to coerce your eyes away from your partner and daughter. Daryl had been so attentive and tender with you while you carried Thumper but seeing him physically interact with her was an entirely different experience.

Once again, it was likely something he would internalize but he was absolutely in love. That little thing lying between the two of you had already stolen his whole heart. If you had any doubt of his desire and ability to be her dad,—which you didn’t—that would be long gone now.

When you weren’t nursing her, she was with Daryl. He talked to her in hushed whispers like sharing secrets he’d never speak to another living soul. And she slept or stared at him while he stared right back. She had the bluest of eyes but Carol said they might not remain that way.

You hoped they did.

When she looked at you, you could feel her curiosity and adoration. You were her mother and she knew. She knew your voice, your touch. She knew Daryl. Carol said Thumper could only see in shapes and shades of gray, but you didn’t believe that. Not for a second. They way she would stare at Daryl, her little fingers squeezing the edge of her pink bird blanket. No, you didn’t believe that.

“Think I gotta name for ‘er.” Daryl spoke suddenly, words rough off his tongue, laced with exhaustion. You smiled.

“Oh yeah?” You wondered if he was even awake or aware of what he was saying. His eyelids were heavy, flickering open every few seconds.

“Yeah. S’okay if ya don’t like it. Don’t really make no sense.”

You laughed within a breath, reaching to brush the hair off his forehead. When he didn’t speak for a moment, you found yourself too curious to let it go. “Are you gonna tell me?”

He took a deep breath, eyes still closed, with an mhm during the exhale. His index finger was gently rubbing back and forth over Thumper’s little hand while she had it fisted into her blanket.

You almost moved your hand to his shoulder to shake him awake, but refrained. He was—like you—exhausted, and within that state, he was emotionally vulnerable. You almost felt as if you were taking advantage of that, but there was a realization that you wanted him to name her. So, you would wait. Let him sleep or listen when he was ready to tell you.

“Birdie.” He finally breathed. Without opening his eyes, he moved his finger to tap one of the birds on the blanket. “Birdie Jade.”

You felt the wet tickle of a tear running across the bridge of your nose and wiped it away before it could sting your other eye. Sniffling, you ran your fingers through the hair above Daryl’s ear. His eyes finally opened, clear and sharp, watching, waiting for your reaction.

You pulled back your hand and laid it on top of his, over the baby’s blanket.

“Hi, Birdie.”