#he makes so many pathetic puns i love him

[lexirosewrites]

Steddie as rival lawyers who have very different careers.

Steve became a prosecuting attorney after graduating from a top school at his parents’ insistence. It pays well and makes them happy, even if it’s joyless for him to fight for things he doesn’t believe in.

Prosecuting innocent people and fighting for the sake of money without morals.

On the other end of the spectrum is free-spirited Eddie Munson. He’s a defense attorney who shows up in ill-fitting suits that show off his many neck and hand tattoos. Piercings in his ears and hair that’s not tidy or tamed in any way.

He’s a rebel who barely graduated from some lower tier law school with no prestige whatsoever.

Steve naturally assumed their first trial would be a breeze.

But somehow— sheer dumb luck, bad jury selection, or just stupid fate— Eddie wins. And he keeps winning.

Over and over for months.

Steve’s long uninterrupted winning streak becomes a losing one. If Eddie’s in the courtroom too, Steve knows he’s already lost his case.

It’s humbling.

Actually, it’s frankly embarrassing to lose to someone who’s so unprofessional and doesn’t take the law seriously like Steve.

Eddie is respectful of course, but he doesn’t use lawyer-speak unless he’s referencing a precedent of a law. Other than that, he’s overly casual and friendly. Everyone’s favorite lawyer.

He doesn’t lack passion though. No, the guy all but hops up on tables to make speeches about freedom or the American dream during every trial. Utterly ridiculous.

It works though. The juries fall for his bullshit about being down to earth and his clients walk free because of it.

Steve can’t stand it. He can’t stand Eddie and his mockery of his career.

This ultimately culminates in a confrontation in the parking lot one night after a particularly tense trial conclusion.

Once again, Eddie’s guy walked free and Steve knows he’s gonna hear about it from his boss (who also happens to be his dad).

So he might snap a bit when Eddie comes out whistling and looking happier than anything.

“Hey, jackass!”

Eddie looks around like Steve might be referring to some other jackass, despite the otherwise empty parking lot.

He points to himself in question and Steve rolls his eyes in answer.

“Hi, sweetheart,” Eddie finally greets him with a smirk. “Chinese takeout for tonight sound good?”

Steve’s stomach growls at the mere suggestion.

He’d accidentally skipped lunch earlier so he could make changes to his closing argument. Fat load of good that did him.

“Yeah, sure, whatever. You’re not off the hook that easily though. What the hell was that brutal cross examination on my witness, you dickhead?”

Eddie smiles extra sweetly and presses a quick but affectionate kiss to Steve’s forehead first.

“All’s fair in love, war, and court, baby. You can whine about it later when we’re home if you really want to. I happen to know some very nice pillows that would love to muffle your pretty little moans.”

Asshole.

He blushes, glancing around to make sure they’re still alone before he pulls Eddie into an embrace.

They’ve barely spent any time together this week because of the tense trial and he really missed his boyfriend (not to be mistaken for the jackass who argues with him daily in the courtroom).

As much as they can separate their personal and work lives, it’s hard to not be on the same side of things.

“What if I want you to hear me moan, Eddie? I think it’s only fair since you seem to get everyone else off and I’m the one always suffering for it,” he mumbles snarkily into Eddie’s shirt.

Eddie laughs at the pun. He knew that he would.

“Is that why you’re sulking, babylove? You want me to get you off too?” He nods with a pathetic whine. Not getting to cum for a few days can do that to a person. “I think that can be arranged. You’ve been such a good boy for me lately. You’ve earned a treat.”

Steve melts into his boyfriend’s arms, feeling loved.

“I missed you.”

Another kiss to the forehead, but this time Eddie’s lips linger there as he speaks.

“Missed you too, sweetheart. Not sorry for winning, but I am sorry that you lost.”

Steve knew the defendant was innocent. There wasn’t much of a case to be made anyway. It still stings though.

“Yeah... I’ve been thinking about that and it might be time to quit my dad’s firm. I’d much rather be on the same side as you,” Steve confesses.

Eddie pauses.

“Does that mean…”

Steve looks up smiling and confirms, “Yes. I’ll accept the job offer if it’s still on the table.”

The rival lawyer had offered him a job months ago, before they even got together.

By accepting the position, it means they’d finally be allowed to be a couple publicly and they’d be sitting on the same side of the court for once.

It would also free Steve from his dad’s control and disappointment.

“Stevie, I’d love nothing more than to have you as my partner. In both the court and life. I love you, sweetheart.”

He can’t resist.

“I love you too… jackass.”

Eddie makes good on his promise to get Steve off that night. He even brings out the handcuffs for accuracy sake.

#don’t ask me how we got here because I have no idea #enemies to lovers as rival lawyers makes sense maybe #steddie #steve x eddie #steddie ficlet

[xhoneygirlxx]

In My Feels

Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

summary: Steve’s heart now belongs to the pretty woman who always comes in with her two adorable kids. When he finally decides to make a move, he’s shocked to find out she’s not their mom.

warnings: fluff. Barista!Steve. Reader and Steve are both in their 20’s. Nanny!Reader. Modern!au. Readers ethnicity/skin tone is not mentioned. Pictures above are used for aesthetic purposes only. Shitty writing/grammar errors, not proofread.

*if I miss anything please let me know.

a/n: day two of my birthday bash has finally arrived!! I’m so grateful for the amount of love and support you guys have given me. Although this is my birthday week, I wanted to spend it with you guys and give us both something we can enjoy :) I love every single one of you guys and I hope you like this!

Now I’m in my feels 

Way up in the clouds somewhere now 

Don’t know what’s real 

Working at the Java Cup, Steve dealt with a lot of different people. Tired students, doctors and nurses coming and going from shifts, and everyone in between. During the six months of his employment there only one customer seemed to catch his attention, you. 

From the moment you walked in he knew he was fucked. With one kid on your hip and the other in the stroller, you already had him in the palm of your hand. No matter what, rain or shine, you and your two kids always came in with bright smiles. Although a lot of your interactions were small talk or your older son trying to, his heart infatuation for you every single time. 

You were so fucking beautiful and Steve was nothing but a fool for you. So many times he would go home and just pray that you weren’t taken, that maybe somewhere written in the stars there was a chance for him. 

Steve wanted to ask you out but every single time he chickened out, throwing out multiple cup sleeves that had horrible puns written on them in the process. Ever since getting broken up with by Nancy, his self esteem and confidence dropped. No matter how many times his best friend and coworker, Robin, tried to talk some sense into him, he just couldn’t do it. 

It was comical watching him stutter and blush scarlet every time you would speak, tripping over his words like it was his first time ever talking. Because he was so smitten with you, his insecurities grew and poking fun at him any time he would think about possibly asking you out.

Here you were, a pretty mom with two adorable kids that he adored, so sweet and kind to him, and so far out of his league. There was no pot at the end of this rainbow for Steve, but he continued to chase it in hopes that maybe, just maybe he was wrong.

Now it's been six months and Steve has run out of steam, his legs growing tired and his lungs burning with exhaustion with how long he's been running. So, he's decided that it's time to give up on his mission to of getting to the finish line.

There was no point to continue trying, not when you're probably more than happy with the father of your children, going home to your white picket fence and happy home. So he pulled back, watched from behind the counter, and continued to daydream about the life he's always wanted.

“You know you could just go talk to her, right?” Robin’s voice is louder than she thinks, the low music and hum of the espresso machine doing little to cover it up. 

“Say it louder, why don’t you.” Rolling his eyes, Steve continues to wipe down the counter that he’s been working on for the past ten minutes. 

“I’m just sayin’, it’s kind of pathetic and creepy that you’re always staring.” Shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly, the brunette girl runs her hands down her black apron. “Besides, what’s the worst that could happen?” 

“What’s the worst-” Turning on his heel quickly, Steve stares at his best friend with wide eyes, “Robin, there is a laundry list of things that could go wrong.” 

“Yeah? Try me.” Crossing her ankle over the other, Robin leans on the sink with a waiting look.

“Firstly, she could be married,��� Steve starts counting on his finger. 

“No ring on her finger.” Robin counters. 

“Well she’s a mom with two kids, I doubt she has time for a twenty something, no good, barista that barely has his life together.” 

“EEEEEEEE WRONG,” She makes a loud buzzer noise, “One you aren’t no good, you’re actually a really great person who needs to see just how amazing he is. Two, you may be a barista who can barely keep his life together but, you’re reliable and take care of yourself, not to mention you have your own car and place, more than other twenty somethings. And lastly, you’re also a mother to a group of teenagers, so it works perfectly.” 

Dropping his hands down to his sides, Steve lets the words settle into his heart. He was a good person, he did have a good impression with the gaggle of kids he sometimes watches, and he did have some of his life together.

“Okay well, she could reject me and I will not only lose more of my confidence but I’ll also lose my favorite customer.” Sighing in defeat, he whips the rag that still sits in his hand over his shoulder. "Either way, I gave up on that dream a long time ago."

Robin shakes her head, stepping forward to the boy she calls her best friend and shakes him by the shoulders. “You are Steve ‘the hair’ Harrington! There was a reason everyone called you king Steve and it wasn’t just because you were a huge dick.” 

“Hey!!” Steve raises his voice in defeat and she waves him off continuing her peptalk. 

“Listen, I know that lady killer is somewhere in there,” She pokes at his chest, “So you’re gonna put your big boy panties on, walk up to her and ask her out! I’m sick and tired of watching you look all sad and depressing, so you’re going to do as I say or I’ll do it for you.” Smiling brightly at him, the girl taps him lovingly on the shoulder.

Robin may be a lot of things, including annoying, but a liar is not one of them. Steve knows that she will one hundred percent walk up to you, throw him under the bus, with a mega-watt smile as she does it.

Watching his friend walk around the counter with a broom and dust pan in hand, her head turns to wear your sat at a table by the front window, talking to your older son, rocking your baby in the stroller with your foot. Turning her attention back to Steve, she smiles wickedly and turns slightly like she’s heading your way. Anxiety rises in the back of his throat, heartbeat picking up and banging hard in his chest.

“Fine, I’m going just- fuck off.” It comes out through gritted teeth. Running a shaking hand down the front of his apron, Steve rounds the counter muttering something under his breath.

As he walks to the table, Robin gives him two thumbs up and an exaggerated smile to which he replies by simply throwing a middle finger up at her.

As he steps closer to your table the thought of turning back around and hiding in the back room comes into mind.

There’s no pot of gold here, only gray clouds and roaring thunder. He can turn back now and continue his sorrowful journey of pining.

But then he looks at you, smiling and laughing at something the young boy next to you said, eyes squeezed shut and head thrown back. What a beautiful way to die, Steve thinks. The thunder and lightning is all worth it when he gets to see you as he takes his final breaths.

“H-hey,” His voice is wobbly, nervousness clearly showing as he speaks.

“Hi Steve.” Your eyes meet his, saccharine smile tugging on the corners of your lips.

“Hi steeb!” The young boy next to you waves while clutching a red crayon in his tiny hand.

“Hi Aidan. How are you little man?” Steve seems to loosen up a bit, the presence of your son lets him exhale just slightly.

“M’colorin a pixture.” The small boy’s tongue pokes between his lips, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he draws what looks like a demented stick figure.

“It looks good, little dude.” Steve encourages, cooing sweetly at him.

“Fanks.” Still focusing on his picture, the smaller boy grabs a different crayon from the box that sits on the table.

“What’s up, Steve?” You ask, still rocking the stroller back and forth with your tennis shoe covered foot.

“Oh-h yeah, um I was just gonna ask, ah what you were doing.” Just like a switch, he’s back to being a fumbling doofus.

You giggle at him and he feels his cheeks tingle with heat. Looking between the two kids, you look back up to the older man in front of you.

“Well, I’m enjoying a coffee while Aidan colors and Bella naps peacefully.” You nod your head slowly, eyeing the barista questioningly.

Steve wants to slap a hand on his forehead, embarrassed by the fact he can’t even formulate one sentence.

“Yeah, no I see that. Seems fun, I mean not fun but like ya know, seems-“ His stammering is cut off by your soft voice.

“Are you okay? You seem really nervous.” Your eyebrows are pinched together, worry painted on your features.

“Me? I’m great, fantastic!” It comes enthusiastic and way louder than he intended, so loud that Robin hears and instantly facepalms.

“Well, that’s great Steve.” You’re still eyeing him suspiciously and he really wants to jump ship.

“I’m just gonna go and do my ugh, my stuff.” Hooking a thumb over his shoulder, spinning on the ball of his feet leaving before he can say anything else embarrassing.

No, he can’t leave now, not when he’s made it this close to the finish line. This is what he’s been waiting for, the treasure he’s been searching for. It’s no or never and he can’t go back to praying the same prayer that somewhere in this universe you two were destined to be.

With a new found confidence, he turns right back into the eye of the storm and faces it head strong.

“Actually, I came over here because I wanted to know if maybe you’d like to go out sometime.” His chest is puffed out like, more sure of himself than he’s ever been.

The confidence that’s surging through him starts to falter when he reads your expression. You, and Aidan who has now stopped coloring, stare at him with bugged out eyes and gaping mouths.

“Only if that’s okay with you and all. If you want you can bring the kids along and we can go get ice cream and stuff but if you need it I have some friends who are great with kids and who will be willing to babysit for you.” He’s back peddling, trying to give you a way out in case you want to reject him it won’t hurt so bad.

“Oh Steve,” it’s said with pity and he knows the lighting strike is about to hit, “I-I’m not their mom.”

“Yeah no I get it, sorry if I- wait..” Stopping in his tracks, he looks back and forth between you and the small boy, connecting the dots in his head. “You’re not their mom?”

You and Aidan share a look before giggling together. Gazing back up at the flustered man in front of you, you smile kindly at him.

“No, I’m their nanny, Steve. Although I love them like they’re my own, they’re not.”

“Oh.” Steve continues to stare at you, his pretty pink lips in the shape of an O.

“Yeah, I just watch these little guys.” You shrug your shoulders.

“That’s still cool, I mean the offer still stands.” Even though he’s confused, his voice is a little shaky when he asks.

“Do the kids still have to come?” You ask and Aidan shouts an offended “hey”.

“I mean they can if you want, it’s all up to you.” He eyes you, waiting for your reaction but your expression doesn’t give him much to go on.

“Hmmm, I’m going to have to ask my trusted right hand man.” Holding a finger up at him, you leave over to the smaller boy next to you.

Aidan covers you hear with a small hand trying to cover the movements of his lips, even though Steve can still his his muffled whispers from where he stands.

Shaking your head, you repeat back uh huh’s to him, taking everything that’s being said seriously.

Moving back to your upright position, you stare at Steve with a serious gaze.

“Well, my counsel says I should go but you have to buy me ice cream. No buts about it.” Your straight face begins to falter when Steve’s white teeth shine at you.

“Yeah, I’ll get you whatever ice cream you want.” Steve bobs his head, cheeks flaring pink and eyes shining brightly.

“You can’t kiss, only mommies and daddies do dat stuff.” Aidan pipes in and Steve can’t help but chuckle with how the little boys face is scrunched up with intensity.

“Yes sir.” Steve gives the little boy a solute, while sending you a sneaky wink, and the kid quickly accepts.

“So, I’ll text you?” Steve asks

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Your bottom lip is tucked between your teeth as you say it.

“Okay, cool cool. I’ll ah, see you later.” Steve nods his head, backing away from the table slowly.

Sprinting to the backroom, he sees Robin who pretends like she hasn’t been listening in.

“Robs, I fucking did it!” Steve whisper yells, still cautious knowing your still out there.

“I honestly thought you were gonna back out for a second! I’m so proud of you for hanging in there!”

The two of them start hopping around like jumping beans, beaming so brightly they can outshine any star in the sky.

“So you got her number?” Robin asks, heavily breathing from all their excitement.

“Fuck-“ stopping dead in his tracks, Steve bolts to the door and back out to the front.

That’s where he finds you’ve already left and he’s heartbroken. The only memory that you were even there is your lingering perfume that sticks to the air.

You’ll probably be back some time soon but he’s still a little let down knowing he didn’t fully seal the deal. Looking closely at the table, he notices Aidan left one of his drawings.

Picking up the paper, he looks at it closely realizing Aidan didn’t leave it, you did.

Steve,

You left before I could give you my number. I didn’t want to disrupt your little party or anything.

Can’t wait to get that ice cream.

-your favorite customer

683-027-9305

Folding up the paper, Steve sticks it in the pocket of his apron.

“Don’t worry Steve, she’ll be back.” Robin calls out from behind the counter, apparently not seeing the little not that was left.

“I know she will.” It’s said quietly but the smile on his lips isn’t.

It’s beautiful on this side of the rainbow, Steve thinks, the pot of gold was so worth all the work. Robin was right, he still had it.

Thank you all for joining me on this second day of my celebration!!! I hope you all enjoy!! Love you all ❤️

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#steve harrington smut #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington fic #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington #steve harrington friends to lovers #modern!steve harrington

[moxfirefly]

Please please please with a cherry on top! I am in NEED of a thigh fuck with Raph xFemReader. I’ve had this scene stuck in my head of Raph and his girl making out and she’s finally had enough of him pushing her away when she’s about to bust so she straddles him on the lair couch. They’ve only made out with some semi-heavy petting before he pulls away and gets all “tough” and tries to change the subject. She’s a needy woman and she needs some attention and validation or at least an explanation as to why he’s so hesitant. She doesn’t get it because she’s been after him forever & now that she has him she’s not about to let him go. This could be completely filthy ❤️‍🔥 I just need my big boy to come undone (pun intended) No pressure but I just love your writing & have been going through and rereading all of your amazing stories! — Much love, Phera

Ngl this has been festering my noggin for a while because I’ve been in a big Raph mood lately. I hope you don’t mind but this is a combination of something I’ve been working on with like a portion of your request into it but I think you’ll enjoy it nonetheless.

Rated Explicit (18+ only)

Raphael always found the word “obsessed” to be a tad too exaggerated.

Whenever Donnie said he was obsessed with some new tech thing, or Mikey was obsessed with a new song, or even Leo was obsessed with some new form of meditation.

Obsessed sounded too big of an adjective to explain it.

Raph didn’t consider himself obsessed with his workouts or even knitting. He liked them sure, maybe even loved them because they brought some semblance of balance to an already complicated brain. But obsessed felt too outrageous of a word.

That all went to hell the second his eyes had landed on yours. Because suddenly the word began to ring out loudly in his brain in blood red caution style letters. Something chemically switched in his brain the very moment you had spoken. He felt sweaty, clammy and downright sick to his stomach.

How many hours in the day could somebody think about another person?

He felt like his ass was going numb from sitting on the bench thing long contemplating this situation. He’d only done one rep of his bench presses when he had to sit up and breathe and quiet his mind.

You were April’s friend, her latest and most stable roommate and somehow the idea of mutants in the sewers had been easier to swallow than he could ever hope for in human reactions.

He felt pathetic, a little dirty but overall weightless whenever you were near by. You’d stepped in several times to help whenever April simply couldn’t. You’d come down with groceries, hand me downs and all sorts of necessities simply because you wanted to help. Raph wasn’t some inconsiderate chump though, he was thankful, he’d (somehow) engaged in his fair share of small talk with you.

And sure your eyes had lit up with him.

Sure there were moments he wanted to do a double take because he swore your eyes had lingered on him.

Pesky pesky pesky ‘ifs’.

Quite often the sensation of your eyes lingering on him had taken him to places he hardly entertained. He didn’t want to place you in that box, that ‘potential’ box where he wondered what a normal life could feel like. He much less wanted to stuff you in the other box.

The one where when he slept and saw nothing but your eyes and mouth and hands all over him. The one where when he woke up and felt like a fever was burning him in the very pits of hell, all because he swore he heard you moan out for him. How many ruined sheets carried your name. How many showers he’s tried to burn you off of him only to simply get off to the idea of your skin against his own.

God he was obsessed wasn’t he?

The hypocrisy alone wouldn’t mortify him.

What would kill him is if you suddenly developed mind reading powers and saw one third of his thoughts on you.

From the fruity gushy romantic ones.

To the filthy debauched images he painted daily ones.

He felt sick again.

Sicker the second you walked in the shorts you wore when summer was approaching.

You had a scar on your knee cap he wanted to taste. He saw how skin spread when you sat down, the plushness, the softest of chubbiness that had him thinking how divine it would be to wake up to those thighs crushing his face. A tremble in his hand urged him to lay a palm on your thigh, just to touch, just to get a taste of human flesh against his calloused scales. Raph wanted nothing more than to feel you sit on his lap and ask him if he could be a good boy for you and-

“Yo bro if you ain’t taking a plate I’m eating it” When had Mikey gotten in front him and why was food being shoved into his face?

Oh, right, you brought dinner tonight.

He had mumbled a grunt of an apology and had poured the rest of his energy into eating.

Unbeknownst to him, you had felt that shift that could only be described as the earth shaking. Raphael wasn’t necessarily subtle, sure he’s gotten away with it a few times but there’s no way he expected you to not notice his eyes burning a hole through your thigh as you sat next to him.

And who said you couldn’t be a little cruel in your endeavors of letting him get the fucking hint that you wanted him too?

So when you had finished eating and Casey and Donnie had started up one of their heated debates, you had placed a hand on his knee to push yourself up from the couch.

You had dug just a little bit of nail.

You had let your palm slide on your way up.

If Raph could implode he would’ve.

If he could set himself on fire he would’ve lit a match by now.

That had messed him up for days. He had rutted against his pillow three nights in a row and none of it had been enough to silence the voice, the itch of his skin.

All it had done was open his eyes a little wider, to watch you like a damn hawk.

And he began to notice things. Notice the little games you played with him.

From the way you crossed your legs when his green eyes landed on you. To the way your smile felt just mischievous enough to let him know he had been had.

You knew.

God, could you read his thoughts?

He had been tasked one evening to walk you to the exit of the Lair. It wasn’t too late, but work and deadlines were impeding you from torturing him longer this evening. He had quietly gotten you to the latter that led closest to your place.

“Ya let us know when ya make it home safe” Came that gruff voice of his, that almost constipated pit nesting in his stomach. Just before your hands could grip the ladder, you had gripped the length of the white cloth that adorned his shorts. You twirled the fabric, gentle twists and a knowing smile that made him hold his breath.

“And you let me know the next time you’re thinking of me at night. I think we’re past this little game.” You didn’t give him a second to recover let alone form a coherent sentence before you were up the ladder and gone.

Raphael looked up, the beam of light as the cover was opened to allow you out into the buzzing city. It felt too much of a spotlight highlighting his desires. You watched him down below, the shadows hiding just enough but not the stunned hungry look. If he were a religious man, he could say that you looked like a god, above him all knowing and with the power to turn him into ash.

And how he wanted to fall to his knees and pray in between your legs.

He hadn’t slept that night.

He had watched the ceiling of his and Mikey’s shared room and contemplated your words. He turned them over and over, examined every vowel and consonant. He tasted the sounds in his mouth. Your haughty smile as the wind blew a few strands of hair.

He lasted a week.

Seven days of self loathing.

A hundred and sixty eight hours of working up the courage.

Ten thousand and eighty minutes of wanting to even the playing field.

So on that last day, last hour, last minute, he had snuck out after patrol and a shower and headed to your apartment. He had climbed up the fire escape with every intention of telling you how evil you were for making him so obsessed.

His simply texted,

‘Window.’

His tried to mask a neutral face as you pulled back the curtains and found him crouched there.

The second you smiled though…

He had lost.

You lifted the window open and rested your hands on the windowsill.

“Couldn’t stop thinking of me?” Your words stabbed him, and he loved it.

He wanted to snarl, wanted to show you that this was stupid of you to even consider. So when he moved forward, brought his face close to yours, you didn’t flinch.

“Don’t be such a coward and show me what kept you up this late?” Your warm breath caressed his scarred lips.

Raph blinked, taken aback on how easily you had taken hold of him. When your hand reached up, knuckles caressing his jaw before they rested on the lip of his plastron, he closed the distance with an innocent kiss. A pressing of lips that froze him against your mouth. He felt that hand run up his neck, a scratch of your nails bringing some life back to him as your lips moved against his own.

Just as his mouth began to catch up, to lose itself against the wetness of your tongue you had backed up into the room and beckoned him inside the living room.

And like a trained pet he slid inside and felt smaller than he had ever imagined he could.

And god, he loved it.

He let you lead him to the couch, watched obsessively as you straddled his lap and kissed him with every intention of devouring all the secrets he possessed inside of him. He can’t and won’t be able to forget the sensation of your hands grabbing his own and letting them hover over your chest.

“Do you want me? Do you want to keep doing this?” You had asked cautiously, adamant in letting him know this could stop the second he felt it needed to. It took every power in him to not yell out a resounding and firm ‘yes’.

“Good, that’s a good boy” And fuck his dick twitched and almost came undone right then and there. He felt his hands cup your breast, the soft tender flesh from above your sleep shirt, just as you rolled your hips against his painfully hard erection.

Between the kisses he groaned out a desire.

“Wanna feel more of ya, can I?” He whispered it against the corner of your mouth as desperate as he ever could.

Your reply came in the simple gesture of lifting your shirt and your reward came in the form of hungry eyes and lips finding your breasts.

He was gutted, how could something this beautiful also be perfect and soft and right now against his lips?

Raph felt your hand on the back of his head and the quiet little yelp as he bit down gently on your nipple almost be his second undoing of the night. He kissed the perked bud, wrapped his tongue around it and savored the texture, the taste, the way that with each suction you grew needier and wetter.

He could feel you so perfectly through the fabric of your underwear just gush against his clothed crotch. His hands held your waist as he devoured your other breast and delighted ‘ha!’ escaped your lips when he his bit down just a little harder than before. Raph’s eyes looked up, the flush pink of your neck, the sweat starting to form.

The two of you still needed to be quiet, you weren’t alone after all.

And this was simply still a taste of things to come.

“I want you, so fucking bad, but not here, not like this” You kissed it up his neck, felt those big hands grip your rear. His eyes held confusion and a stupor that could only mean he was drunk off of this.

“We’re gonna be a little creative and very very quiet” Your hands rested on his shoulders, to which allowed yourself the luxury of a good firm squeeze to the muscle. God he was a fucking sight to behold.

With a remorseful push you got up on wobbly legs and slid your underwear down and off. He had followed the path, mesmerized and hungry. Just to tease, just to be the cruel god you could be, you rubbed along your folds, gathered slick and offered up to his willing and devout lips. He sucked greedily, loved the way you slowly pulled out the digits from his mouth.

Next to his spot you climbed on the couch and rested against the backrest and urged him closer. “Y/n I um, I’m too big-“ And he wanted to cringe at the admission that there was no way this could happen like this without some lube and patience.

“Thighs, use my thighs Raphie” That stupid name sounded like salvation when spoken in your voice. Nervously but ever so in need he settled behind you, pushed his shorts past his hips and saw the mess he had become due to you, much like he did on nights.

His hands ran up the globes of your cheeks and found your waist. He slid himself between the thighs he had dreamt off for far too long and just as he hoped, they felt better than he could ever imagine. “Oh-fuck…” Was his breathless response to the first slide, your thighs locked up as tight as they could be. The move allowed his cock to perfectly slide along your core, rub against your clit and you tighten your lips in a muffled moan.

The next thrust wasn’t as gentle, as slow. But enough to have his navel slap against your rear in that all to familiar lewd slap he often heard in ‘videos.’

He fell slightly forward, massive arms wrapped around your stomach and lips at the top of your head. “God, Y/n, fucking wanted this” He grunted against the crown of your head. “Me too baby, me too” You braced yourself better, if he was like this…

The thought alone made your toes curl as he began to thrust, building a rhythm that had the two of you on the brink of screwing up and moaning louder than allowed. A hand clasped down on your breast as the couch began to protest with the force of his movements.

“Come on Raphie, just like you dreamt of, do just like you’ve always wanted to” You turned your head, did your best to catch a glimpse of his debauched features as he thrusted faster, that squelching sound combined with your moans making him lose control.

“Shit-I’m gonna…” He buried his face against the back of your neck.

“Do it, do it for me, make a mess” Your own undoing so close you could taste it.

It’s a gut punch, it’s like a bomb going off in his chest and stomach all at once. It’s the hardest he has ever cum, and he’s clutching you and not a pillow for once. He can feel it mix in with your own release, feel it drip down against your thighs and shot against the couch. He feels you slap against him as you ride your own wave whilst biting down on your forearm.

He feels dizzy, tired and drained.

He feels you against him. Sticky and sweaty and panting.

He feels so fucking obsessed.

He feels so fucking obsessed.

#ask #pheradream15 #requested oneshot #tmnt bayverse #tmnt raphael #raphael x reader #raph #raph x reader #raphael #ns*w

[l3viat8an]

I was thinking about how cute Levi is in that you could tease him to hell and back (pun intended), be so mean, and not only would he take it but he'd beg for more as long as you called him your good boy while you did it. and then I thought, oh, Mammon is just as bad, and then that Lucifer would be as well once you broke down his pride a bit. and I realised that,,, fuck, these are 3 of the most powerful demons in the devildom, they've gotta be high up on the list of most powerful beings in existence too, and they are so goddamn pathetic over this one human. I love it

(I just really love the idea of so many insanely powerful beings being utterly whipped for this one human. and everyone thinks that mc is the normal one, of course, but this bitch is the one who was so powerful their existence threatened to tear apart the three realms once they started kicking in properly so even on their own they shouldn't be seen as a pushover)

!!!!! High ranking demons being insanely whipped for a human? Like just absolutely pushovers for you?- More likely then you’d think in the Devildom ;) lolol

Like Levi is honestly just soooo much fun to tease ‘n even playfully bully because his reaction is just so damned cute!! He’s blushing and telling you to ‘stop it’ at first but when he’s comfortable enough he’ll practically beg for you to do more, do it again- do it only to him and let him be your favorite plaything~

and Mammon is just as bad as Levi helpsjsj he can’t actually get mad at you or anything because he enjoys it when you tease him!!! You’re never actually mean to him and make it clear that your teasing is supposed to be fun!! That’s why he loves it so much

Lucifer while he is a little better at hiding his reactions (unless you two are alone and he doesn’t have too.) he still enjoys it just as much, because only you can tease him like that and get away with it. and it’s fun for him to relax and just let you tease him!!!

Diavolo could be added to this too- but he pretty plainly states that he enjoys whenever you tease him and wishes you would do it more.

You really do hold a special power over the strongest demons in hell and it’s so much fun~!

Like just looking at you compared to the demons- you’re ‘just a human’ obviously you’d be the normal one right? That makes sense….but really you are the most powerful one there. 

Not just because you almost accidentally ripped apart all three realms because you had this insane magic power you didn’t know about- but because you can charm ‘n tease all these high ranking demons, angels and even the great Solomon himself!! They’re all wrapped around your finger~

#I’m just rambling but I love how the ‘normal human’ is the one with all the power no matter how you look at it lolol #obey me! #ro rambles #anon! #om! #obey me

[kinnbig]

hi hello i’m Obsessed with your posts about who of the kinnporsche men are the most pathetic and horny (the way you logically analyse it is sending me) and i was wondering if you had any thoughts about who is the worst at flirting? :))

hi hello! thank you ah they are a lot of fun to make! and omg. okay. so i have excluded porsche and chay from this because those brothers both have game (even if it's kinda weird game)! this time, points are awarded for good (or... not awful) flirting and deducted for Bad flirting, so the worst flirt is the one with the least amount of points. science.

Kinn's guide to flirting:

make intense eye contact in the mirror as you dress him in a fancy suit +1 

talk about his dead parents and committing his first murder before you kiss him for the first time -2

ask him if he’d like you if he was a girl -1 

smash, then insist he’s not special and have your bodyguards punish him -3 

imply that he has a small dick when you’re handcuffed together in the wilderness -1

tell him to leave… maybe because he’d sacrifice a hand for you. maybe because you crossed his line. maybe- maybe because you like it when he’s happy. +3

make so, so many gun/dick puns -1

reminisce with your ex in front of him -1

lock him up in a dungeon for real -3

take him on a helicopter ride for his birthday +2

suggest he give up smoking and should put your dick in his mouth instead of cigarettes -1

total: -7

Vegas' guide to flirting:

light his cigarette for him +1

suggest he comes and works for you after roasting your cousin over noodles +1  2a. get hit in the head by a tray -2

bring him a limp rose in a hospital room (get rejected) -2

buy him a sick motorbike +2

offer him a job, then try and kiss him in your bathroom (get rejected again) -2

dip your wet clothed leggies in a pool, and tell him to be nice if he ever has to kill you -1

...tie him up in a warehouse, threaten to kill him so many times, be in cahoots with the guy that kidnapped his brother -3

Vegas' guide to flirting (take 2):

‘accidentally’ give him your monster condom for your magnum dong +1

tie him up in your basement -2 

electrocute his balls -3 

threaten his grandma -2 

beat him with a belt, make him eat off the floor, call him your pet -2 

…cry about your daddy issues -2

bond over your mutual daddy issues -1  

have a funeral for your pet hedgehog together -1

eat his ass +5 

tell him he’s sexy +2

ask him to shoot you -2

tell him he’s not your pet any more +2  12a. …in front of your little brother -1

total: -12

Kim's guide to flirting:

lie about your motivations for getting to know him -2

give him a guitar as a gift +2

ask him to write you a love song +2

give him a lil kiss on the cheek +1

when he tells you he loves you, tell him you’re hungry -1

…ghost him -2

leave him crying on the ground -1

stalk him to a club, punch his friends, and tell him not to do drugs -1

leave him dead bodies as gifts -2

plagiarise his own song to try and win him back -1

total: -5

.....it's vegas. obviously.

more very scientific kinnporsche research

#wow vegas is rlly out here winning 'most pathetic' AND 'worst flirt'!! congrats bestie! #the most he's ever won anything in his life #dshfhhjed #kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #darcey.txt #ask #kinnporsche memes #kp memes #vegas theerapanyakul #vegas kp #kinn theerapanyakul #kinn kp #kim theerapanyakul #kim kp #objectively scientific rankings #kp posting

[rosemaryblossoms]

𝙼𝚢 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝙻𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝, 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗 𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎

Platonic yandere Father Mikey x son reader featuring platonic yandere Bonten.

Trigger warning ⚠️: blood ( I forgot to put this for the ones who don’t like blood, my apologies)

Manjiro Sano lost too many people in his life. . . first his parents, his older brother, Draken, his best friend,his sister, Izana, toman, his grandfather, and now his wife. . . the only one he has left was his son, his little boy.

Right now he is holding you close , gently rocking you back and forth. He pets your ( hair length, color) hair and looks down at your sleeping form.

So peaceful. . .

So heart warming. . .

He loves you so much. . .

Right now once again he is fighting his demons. one side of him wants to give you up for adoption, not that he doesn’t love you, it’s because he wants you to live a normal life and doesn’t want you to deal with the stuff he is going through because he is the leader of a criminal organization and if people find out about you. . . The enemies of bonten will come after you as well as the police and he will have to give you a new life. the other half of him can’t let you go. . . He is selfish, he can’t let you , he needs you here with him, he will protect you and keep you hidden under lock and key. Your his last light. . . He needs you, he needs your warmth. “Dad” “yes son” “can we go to the cozy corner and the park today, also can we bring my uncles with us please?” Oh your “uncles”, when I mean your uncles I mean his executives,his number two and three, and his advisor. . . The nosy bitches, well koko ( hey Auntie koko needs that tea 😤☕️🫖 be grateful that he helps with money . . . Probably, maybe, I don’t know) basically at first the only ones that knew was sanzu, kakucho, and takeomi. . . the others found out because they saw you on their zoom meeting helping Mikey with the laundry while he is listening to their presentation and koko did research ( to make sure he doesn’t assume things and does not bother anyone specifically his boss) “sure just let me make a few phone calls (music stops here)

.

.

.

AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGH!!!

𝐇𝐀𝐇𝐀𝐇𝐀𝐇𝐀𝐇𝐀𝐇𝐀𝐇𝐀𝐇𝐀𝐇𝐀!!!

AAAAAH!!!!!

“Aww Sanzu you killed him, I wanted a turn” the short black and light lilac haired man cooed in a mocking tone.

They did it, they found the traitor who almost gave away the information about you.

“Im glad he is, his screams of pain were starting to get on my nerves” Mochi sighed in relief.

“Make sure you dispose the body properly” Kakucho said as he glared at the corpse.

“hey Kakucho, can you hand me the cleaners so I can wipe that disgusting pig’s blood off of the weap- Sanzu that’s enough he’s dead!” Takeomi says as he trys to pull his brother off the corpse.

“ but I’m not finished :(“

“I don’t give a damn”

“Pathetic” Rindou grimaced as he glared at the corpse.

“Agreed” Koko seethed in disgust.

Brrrrrrinnng Rɪɴɴɴɢ!

(Time skips because I’m running out of ideas 🥲)

“Yummy🥹” Mikey smiled as y/n ate his (your favorite dessert)

“Is that good kiddo” chuckled Mochi

“It’s really good”

“Glad you like it pumpkin” smiled Takeomi

“Your so cute I could just eat you up” Ran said playfully as he reached over and pinches your cheek(🤨. . . It’s not what your thinking, keep it clean)

“Did you have fun at at the park y/n” Kakucho said as he took a bite of his dessert.

“Yeah I enjoyed spending time with you guys”

“I’m glad you had fun”

*yawns*

“You tired” Rindou said as he fixes his glasses.

“ I don’t blame him, he ran around the whole park” chuckled Koko (pun intended)

(After a drive home, continue to read on after the songs are finished. Enjoy the gifs for the meantime)

*yawns*

It was night, stars decorated the dark skies and the moon shined.

You were now in your bed holding your father close as he pet your hair once more, the others sat down and just chilled.

you closed your eyes, finding your way into dreamland.

When your eyes closed, before you find the door in your dreams, you felt a soft, warm pair of lips on your forehead.

“Goodnight son”

You are the last flame, the burning candle, the one thing that keeps them sane

The Bonten prince

#tokyo revengers #yandere tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x male reader #platonic #yandere mikey #yandere bonten #bonten x male reader

[sebsxphia]

Imagine giving rhett a bath after a day of hard labor at the ranch. He'd be so grabby at you while youre scrubbing the dirt off him so you make him a deal that he can do anything he wants to you if he lets you finish washing him up. (Bonus: he pretends to comply but hes actually jacking off very slowly under the water in the tub bc his view from where hes seated is phenomenal 👀)

lavender soap.

rhett abbott x reader.

￫ c/w: swearing, p in v, teasing, kissing, hair pulling, masturbation.

￫ a/n: gasp! dear anon, what a filthy no pun intended idea, i love it holy shit! i hope you enjoy this lil oneshot below! my main masterlist can be found here! 💌

“No way, no fuckin’ way. Jesus Christ, get upstairs, I’ll run you a bath.” You laughed pushing Rhett’s back up the stairs as he stumbled through the back door, dark oil seeping along his fingertips and up his forearms, any other piece of exposed flesh covered in dirt and grime.

You sat on the edge of the tub, wringing the already filthy wash cloth over his skin trying to scrub off the layers inch by inch. He adored it when you treated him like this. The feeling of your hands running over his body, up his shoulders, along his tired hands. He felt like putty, weeping at your touch and feeling the strain fall off his muscles inch by inch.

By the angle that you were sat on the edge of the tub, Rhett’s gaze couldn’t help but dip to your naked thighs, sat mere centiemerets away from his face, so close he could smell you. Running his fingertips up your thighs, he dipped his fingers inside your thigh, desperate to get a feel of your cunt.

“Rhett!” You giggled, delicately grabbing his fingers and guiding them back to the tub. He gazed up at you reading the smile on your face that he knew all too well. His eyes trailed down your neck and along your collar bone, noticing how your skin had light droplets of consdestion forming. He ran his tounge along his bottom lip, the swell of your breasts showing perfectly in the old tank top you had on, the only article of clothing you had on.

He reached his hand over to your thighs again, quickly followed by his mouth so you couldn’t bat away his hand quick enough. Latching his lips onto your soft flesh you lunged forward, your breath knocked out of your lungs. His fevered mouth biting and kissing its way up your bare thighs, inches away from your pussy. It made you clench, holding onto the edge of the bathtub for leverage. You could feel his hair tickle your skin and you mewled, head thrown backwards with your lips parted slightly, pathetic whimpers falling from your lips.

“Please, sweetheart. Just a taste.” Rhett mumbled across your skin, skimming to kiss the piece of flesh above your pussy that was on show from the rise of your tank top.

“Fuck, Rhett.” You moaned softly, barely above a whisper. You reached your hands into his hair and Rhett thought he had done it, he thought he had won you over. You sighed deeply and pulled on his hair making him groan. Pulling his head back up from your thighs he gazed up at you, wetting his bottom lip with his tongue.

“Let me just finish, then you can have me anyway you want. Promise.”

He puffed out his chest, a light smirk appearing on his lips. He wasn’t going to let you win that easy. He pressed one more soft kiss to your leg and then dropped his hands below the water. Due to the soap duds from the lavender soap that was running off his skin, it made it so you couldn’t clearly see the water.

Rhett ran his hand along his already semi-hard cock, throat constricting at the feeling. His eyes fluttered open and close relishing in the feeling of his touch while he was still able to run his eyes over the swell of your breasts, the curve of your thighs and the innocent look on your face. The combination of his touch and yours making him harder.

“Pretty innocent thing has no idea.” Rhett thought, trying to hold back the hitch of his breath when he swiped his thumb over his tip one too many times.

Wringing out the wash cloth one final time you looked at him, pleased with your efforts. Rhett didn’t waste a second. Reaching out of the water he held onto your hips and pulled you into the bath with him, a cry leaving your mouth in laughter. The water splashed over the side, feeling the waves ripple in the tub against your now soaked flesh.

Rhett still had ahold of your hips, dragging you up and sitting you down on his cock with such ease, it made a small chuckle escape his lips. “Oh darlin’, you’re fuckin’ soaked. Should’ve known better than to keep teasing me with tha’ pretty little cunt.”

taglist: @tallrock35

#💌you’ve got mail #rhett abbott #rhett abbott x reader #lewis pullman #rhett abbott smut #rhett abbott fanfiction #rhett abbott fic #rhett abbott x you #rhett abbott x female reader #outer range

[sandupommelfrog]

how good mdzs/the untamed characters are at standup comedy

Wei Wuxian: 10/10

Wei Wuxian is great at standup comedy, obviously. He canonically makes very clever literary references and puns when naming things, so I think he’d have a great set, mostly improv’d which just makes it more impressive. He’s making witty cultural references and long-winded stories that have a genuis punch line at the end, and maybe pokes too much fun at certain *cough* audience members, but it’s not like weird transphobic ‘comedy.’ Wei Wuxian would also have so many buckwild stories to tell, and most audience members just think he’s bullshitting them, but then they get home and check his wikipedia page and learn he’s for realsies and has been declared dead three times.

Jiang Cheng: 2/10 on his own and 9/10 w Wei Wuxian

So, Jiang Cheng has negative desire to do standup comedy. He’s in the spotlight, he has to be charismatic, he has to not fuck it up, and it’s a nightmare for him. It’s also a nightmare for the audience as he stutters and becomes increasingly awkward and distressed. It’s like watching a traincrash:  it’s horrible but you can’t look away. He’ll never to do standup-- except at Wei Wuxian’s behest. Their double act is mostly Wei Wuxian pulling the weight, and Jiang Cheng making excellent dry and snide commentary. It’s some good banter with the lads. They’re the Twin Comedians of Yunmeng.

Jiang Yanli: 5/10

I don’t think Yanli has any desire to really do standup, but I think if she did, she’d be pretty nervous but have some charming stories to tell of cooking mishaps when learning new recipes or funny things a-Ling did. Honestly, it feels more like one of those radio segments where someone just talks about a poignant moment in their lives, and it’s really nice and enjoyable and you get a really strong idea of who she is and how she loves and it’s beautiful. It’s not really comedy but, like, Jin Zixuan and her brothers are ready to throw hands if you disagree or heckle her.

Jin Zixuan: 2/10

Jin Zixuan thinks he can do standup comedy until the faithful day, where he walks on stage for the first time and realizes he has no idea what he’s doing. It’s awkward and it’s pretty snobby and it’s not doing him any favors in the ‘getting Yanli’s brothers to like him’ department. If Jiang Cheng is a sopping wet scrunkly and pathetic cat, Jin Zixuan is the weird birthday gift your out of touch relatives who you see once in a blue moon give you. ‘An avacado.... thanks....’

Lan Wangji: 5/10 with Wei Wuxian

In regards to standup, Lan Wangji is an immovable object. You cannot get him to even consider going on stage, and yet, Wei Ying is his unstoppable force. Like his set with Jiang Cheng, Lan Wangji mostly just stands there for commentary, but doesn’t really have JC’s snark, so it’s not as sharp, not as funny, but it’s pretty cute watching them do a set together until they’re making bedroom eyes at each other onstage and are 2 seconds away from passionately making out on stage.

Lan Xichen: 6/10

Lan Xichen is more charismatic, more personable than his brother, but he still has the Lan Weirdness. His standup set is passable, kind of basic, and is mostly carried by his innate charisma and stunningly good looks. Su She is so pissed about this. What really makes his act memorable however, is that every once in a while, he tells a really weird fucking story about his family like it’s nothing. The audience is collectively shocked and confused and leaves the bar thinking ‘his dad did what?!’

Nie Mingjue: 4/10

Nie Mingjue will only get on stage if Huaisang begs him too, which unfortunately for him, is far too often, or if Lan Xichen asks, which is equally bad. I feel like Nie Mingjue has a specific brand of humor you kind of have to be friends with him to get, and he doesn’t quite have the charisma to do a good set, but he knows the ropes from how many times Huaisang has made him get on stage. Xichen asked him and Jin Guangyao for all of them to do a set together, and.... everyone in the room was uncomfortable during that. Never again.

Jin Guangyao: 8/10

Jin Guangyao can do a good standup set. Of course he can! He knows how to tailor the jokes and the bits to the audience and build up a good rapport. But at what cost? Everytime he gets on stage and smiles his customer service smile to do another ~fun standup comedy night~ a part of himself dies that he will never get back. Lan Xichen has learned his lesson in asking both his boyfriends for a standup threesome, but he still asks a-Yao if he wants to get on stage, either alone or with him. He’ll do it for Xichen, but he is still suffering.

Nie Huaisang: 10/10

This bitch is hilarious even though he’s not the biggest fan of the spotlight. Nie Huaisang is great at clever humor and cultural references with a signature blend of self-deprecating jokes that are light hearted and funny and never get too weird and self-loathing. He definitely plays up a ditzy persona, but has the receipts on everyone in the room, and while he will only pull them out at the right moment, if it calls for that, he isn’t afraid to do it.

Jin Zixun: -99999/10

He just makes shitty offensive ‘jokes’ that deliberately provoke and punch down audience members. Midway through his first set, Wei Wuxian punches him and Yanli verbally destroys him. After that, everyone is ready to kick the shit out of him, physically or emotionally, when he even so much as glances at the stage.

Su She: 1/10 or 7/10

I think Su She is either really bad at standup or really good, and no one admits that he’s actually hot shit. On the bad side of the spectrum, it’s another Jin Zixuan. On the good side of the spectrum, he’s making really witty commentary and carefully placed and wondrously executed bits, but because he was kind of cringey in middle school, no one wants to admit that he actually really is All That. Either way, Jin Guangyao is coming to all of his shows, front row seat, cheering his bestie and maybe sort of boyfriend on.

Wen Ning: N/A

I get really big stagehand or stage tech energy from Wen Ning. I think he’s too anxious and doesn’t really want to be on stage or do stand up comedy. I think he thinks standup is kind of cringey, but he’ll never say it to anyone’s face. I think Wen Ning would excel at funny written reviews of things.

Wen Qing: N/A

She would only get on stage for Wen Ning, and he would never ask that of her. I think like many others here, it’s not her thing, she doesn’t want it to be her thing, and she’ll watch her friends but not get into it more. Wei Wuxian thinks she’s hilarious and tries to get her onstage, but she will never humor him, except maybe if he’s super depressed b/c he misses his siblings. I think, her comedy wheelhouse is commentary reviews/banter. Like if she ever made a commentary podcast with Jiang Cheng where they just watch and bitch about marvel movies or something, it’d be a fucking hit.

I don’t know what the Yi City gang would do, but I keep thinking of Xue Yang saying ‘I’m da joker baybee’ and talking about how it’d be so crazy if the joker could be beatbox, and Song Lan and a-Qing fucking hate it.

#wei wuxian #lan wangji #jiang cheng #lan xichen #jiang yanli #jin guangyao #meng yao #nie mingjue #nie huaisang #jin zixuan #jin zixun #su she #su minshan #wen qing #wen ning #wangxian #chengqing #3zun #mo dao zu shi #the untamed #cql #mdzs #this is my magnum opus #wwx #jc #lwj #lxc #jgy #sms #jyl

[cerealandchoccymilk]

Trigun Bookclub: Trigun Vol.1, Chapter #02

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Continuation of my Trigun annotation for the book club. I'm doing a deep-read of the Japanese original print (reread) and Overhaul 1.0 (first read) side-by-side, and writing down everything I notice from small details, version differences, translation differences, etc. (and being gay about the characters <3 always important)

Here are the beloved non-analysis sillies...

And the rest is under the cut. read my notes boy!!

[link for if the images aren't in horizontal rows]

The second page has an error - 悪夢 was probably misread as 悪魔 ("happen" and "awaken" are also the same kanji). It should be "Then, the nightmare occurred." It's really cool that this still works really well considering...y'know (not saying for the first-time readers ;) )

I just love how that drawing of Vash is so cool and serious...

...and then you turn the page and he's in the most pathetic cunty pussy-out pose you've ever seen. Easily one of my favorite panels. Also made a math question for funsies. sorry to anyone who got high school flashbacks, but I absolutely loved trigonometry lmao. I could do this forever.

A little pun(?) that may or may not be intentional - In Japanese, someone with a bounty on their head is called 賞金首, lit. "bounty neck" ("neck" sometimes signifies the entire head). The locals call out for the bounty-neck right as Vash hurt his neck lol

I love how creepy Vash moves sometimes. absolute cryptid

This is entirely a Japanese-only detail, but I really loved how Vash said バヤイ (bayai) in the sobbing in French line, because my mom also says that instead of 場合 (baai) when she's being silly lmao. Also, it's notable that in Japanese, Vash says フランセ語 ("Francé-go," where "go" is the suffix for languages) which may be either another miles->iles/double-dollar situation, or just him speaking silly like バヤイ.

Also, the line after that would more accurately be "How am I supposed to deal with all these locals?"

Here, the "Really?" is actually Meryl saying something like "I'll give you a hint."

Meryl tends to be the one responsible for the braincell in fanworks but it's important to remember that she absolutely is dumb too (affectionate).

I'm so glad I wrote that reminder about Meryl's speech, but I don't think I'll be able to do it justice here when I have so much more to talk about. I'll have to write another post later, so I'll link it when it's done. The gist is that she talks like a stereotypical high-class anime girl, and the trope is from how a similar demographic in Meiji-era Japan actually spoke.

The boy's pussy faces the world yet again. I love all the faces he makes!! look at him!!!!!!!!!!! he's so cute

The text on the board here was very messy and squished, but it says something like "Vash the Stampede Absolute Capture Task Force Headquarters." Honestly don't know how to fit all that into the board though so uh good luck on that for 2.0... Also dear god Vash has so much energy... He's just been running for 3 hours straight...!!

Fun fact: the equivalent idiom to "fight fire with fire" in Japanese is "use poison on poison."

Love how Nebraska is just like "no we didn't jailbreak, we just let ourselves out :/"

Translation error for Milly and the chairman - Milly is saying "Why do things keep getting worse and worse!?" and the chairman is mumbling "What's the deal with you two..."

Showing some love for his pretty pretty eyes..........(gives him so many smooches in my head)("i can imagine anything" image)(can't add it because i reached the 30 image limit)

The "Freeze!" is actually untranslated, just re-typed to match the surrounding font. Also, that panel is the first time Vash's antennae is shown bent!! It goes back up immediately after that though.

Fun fact #2. Vash says ara ara. if you even care.

This line never fails to hit me hard. They're all desperate mothers and sisters, and they're taking on the bad role because nothing's more important than their dear children. (reminds me of a certain someone...)

I've seen someone mention this before, but Trimax definitely adjusted the number of plants. Fifty!?!? Also, in Japanese, "plants" and "died" were in quotations.

I love the gun pull in the right panel. Vash obviously definitely doesn't intend on shooting, but is rather showing off his skill and resolve as an intimidation tactic to throw the girls off-guard.

God this entire spread is just so RAW.... (here's the post that's mentioned in blue. it just reminded me)

Some more hypes and sillies. The impact that "KISS MY ASS!!" had on my first read was phenomenal!! It's so silly!! and cool!!!

And then there's this!! Another favorite part of mine. Vash's antennae are bent again! They kind of alternate between straight and bent from here.

The green writing about the onomatopoea are more of just a translation note rather than a suggestion. I can't think of any good beckoning noises in English :V

And finally, Milly calls "Mr. Bomb" "Bomb-kun" in Japanese which I think yall would enjoy lol. And happy strangling her saturday tuesday.

The Japanese version of the annotations are in the reblogs, if anyone wants them.

I have Chapter #03 mostly ready, so I'll probably post it tomorrow morning and try to speedrun the rest of the chapters because this is taking longer than I expected!! God there's just so much to say!! (Also gotta remember to write about Meryl's speech!!)

And thank yall so much for the feedback on the Chapters #00-01 post!! I didn't know so many people were interested in such small details!! Love (and peace) yall 🫶🤞

#bing bing bauuuu bam bam bada bam baba bom bom bauuuuuuuuu (wh- wh- wh- wh- what's going on? on?) du du dududu dudu du du dududu d #trigunbookclub #trigun annotation #trigun #trigun manga

[thesweetsvillainshowdown]

MAGOLOR PROPAGANDA: Magolor is a REALLY cool character. I think he's got a pretty great design, and there's a lot of great music associated with him. Go listen to "Settling a Score - Atone for One's Misdeeds" and "C-R-O-W-N-E-D", those are some of the best. Maybe listen to "Interdimensional Traveler" and "I'll Never Forget You (Memorial Arrangement)" too if you like those at all. Looking past design and music, he's a GREAT character. He has more dialogue than any other character, probably more than every character combined across the whole series, and just about every word of it is a joy. The lore drops, the silly puns, the explanations, learning to have friends, everything. It's all so GOOD. As a villain, I really like him. He shows up at the start of Kirby's Return to Dream Land by crashing his Interdimensional Boat Spaceship, the Lor Starcutter, and you spend most of the game gathering parts to help him repair it. He has you fight the dragon, Landia, who shot him down in the first place, but it turns out Landia was stopping him because he was trying to steal the Master Crown, a source of unlimited power that would let him rule the universe. He takes the crown and reveals his grand plan with a pretty great speech (which Kirby does not understand very much...) and leaves to set this into motion. Kirby, with the help of his friends and Landia, fight him. The Crown takes his body, turning him into little more than a shell, but Kirby shatters the Crown off of him. After this, his (playable and very fun!) redemption arc begins. He is trapped between dimensions, and all of his power is lost. He travels and gathers it all by collecting shards of a Gem Apple and with Magic points, along the way making lots of puns, pathetically holding onto villainy by saying things like "thank badness!" and eventually realising he LIKED having friends and remembers that he wants to make people happy (his life goal is to run a theme park). The shards of the Crown take over the (now fully-built) Gem Apple, and it takes form as a giant tree. Gathering all of his magic into a sword, he cuts it in half in a flashy showdown and redeems himself. He spends a while in a parallel world, and eventually returns to Kirby. He builds theme parks to apologise, accomplishing his dream in the process. He's happy now, but he's still quite mischievous! He loves to play pranks and add a bit of extra danger to his attractions. Also, he ties into a few Christian themes which I find quite interesting. The yellow in his design is there because it's the colour of betrayal in Christianity, Magolor Day canonically falls on a Sunday and the first one ever was an Easter, the room he keeps the Apple shards in is literally called the Room of Eden in the Japanese version of the game, and both the temptation of the Master Crown and his connection to apples could be taken as tying into this as well. He is also a JOY to play as in all three games where he is playable. Especially Magolor Epilogue, which is the one where he redeems himself. You upgrade his powers throughout it with lots of fun dialogue about it, and the levels and challenges are all a blast. I've tried my best to explain him, but if anyone reading this is interested: Go read his page on Wikirby! Or, even better, go and play Kirby's Return to Dream Land Deluxe if you have a Nintendo Switch! He is genuinely such a great character and I want as many people as possible to have a good time with him too!

I see! Well, you've heard the propaganda, now take your new knowledge and let it help you vote!

#ultimate villain showdown #the third ultimate villain showdown #villain propaganda

[howlingdemon13]

I'd like to ask some questions from the Character Ask Game! ✨

Specifically numbers 1, 2, and 12 for Beetlejuice!

I hope these answers aren't too in depth, but I have ✨ thoughts ✨! I'm gonna try to keep this Musicaljuice specific because he's my favorite. 1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

There are a bajillion factors at play as to why I adore this weird little goober man. I always really end up loving the monster/supernatural entity/villain in most media I consume, so Beetlejuice perfectly fits that niche in my brain (occult brain go brrr). Like, yes, I love the demon by default. Of all of his iterations, Musical!Beetlejuice is my favorite. He's kind of a shithead, but he's entertaining. I want to see him succeed as much as I want to see him fail if that makes sense (also depends on if I'm watching the movie vs the cartoon vs the musical). Full disclosure, I never watched Beetlejuice 1988 until October of last year. The only reason I did was because I thought I should watch it/get context before watching the Brightman bootleg of the mucial I found. And uhhhhhhh I didn't really like it, which is weird for me (but I do enjoy it more now). All that's to say that the musical version of the character was more sympathetic and more fleshed out in a way that makes me both feel so so bad for him (mommy issues solidarity) while also wanting to punt him across a room (that might also be the cute-aggression though). My pathetic little meow meow. He does also give me the tiniest bit of Genie vibes? Love me the magical comic relief trope. Stellar. 10/10. No notes. Did I mention that he makes me laugh? It's the immature humor for me. It's the kind of low-brow goofiness that I grew up with (thanks, dad, ow I'm immature). This applies to all iterations, but mostly Musicaljuice and Toonjuice (the puns! I live and breathe puns!)

2. Favorite canon thing about this character? Mood ring hair. Even though he's not human, Beetlejuice just feels feelings so intensly as a demon that his emotions can literally change a part of his physical appearance. Whoever thought of this is a genius. I love this trope across media because there's something that's really appealing to me about a character giving in to their emotions in that way. Like, as much as Beetlejuice is a manipulative jerk, he can't really hide how he's feeling and that's a fun juxtaposition that has a lot of potential (forever crying that the mood ring hair is not utilized in the tour version). That, and I do love what people have done with this concept in fanfics/fan art.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

I have so many! But one that doesn't leave my brain is that Beej is a big fan of swing music (and by extension swing dancing). I was going to make a mega post about this (and maybe I will eventually), but there are a few instances in the musical that contribute to this. Honestly though, it's really the energy and melodies associated with the genre that I naturally associate with Beetlejuice. As much as Beej has a rock-inspired motif going on with a lot of his songs in the musical, I like to think that a demon that old would have a hard time moving on from a genre like jazz and thus swing.

#sorry this is long and rambly! #but i could gush about the ghost demon for days without stopping to breathe #ask answered

[dragon-chica]

Eugene Ottinger Relationship Headcanons

Fandom: Wednesday

Hey guys, sorry to say but Eugene's on my character list. He's a very good boy and I adore him though. credit @crispinablr for helping me :)

He isn't in many social circles so you probably either met him through Wednesday, or were sent to check out the Beekeepers for extracurricular.

He was so happy to meet another potential member! Despite his long going infatuation with Enid and determination to wait for her to really notice him in a romantic light, he was crushing on you almost immediately, Wednesday pointed this out and called him pathetic (fondly).

He hates letting the bees' hard work go to waste and makes a lot of things with them, not only collecting honey but using extra beeswax to make chapstick and candles for gifts.

With the excuse of "Welcoming you to the hive." he gave you a little gift basket of items, but he really hoped it would help 'woo' you.

He talks to his bees (and Wednesday) about you so much! They pick up on his emotions when you're around and are very friendly, crawling over your bee suit to say hi. (he's very flustered and glad you don't understand.

Eugene will dedicate a whole hive to you, they're some of his best bees and will bring you all their honey and other goods (honey comb, candles, chapstick). You will never be able to use it all, but he writes your name so pretty on each one.

He has really neat handwriting! Loopy cursive and you'll find little things where he's just doodled your name with tiny bees and hearts around it.

Tells his moms all about you! Eugene is very open about having a crush and calls them up to gush about how nice and pretty you are, they can't wait to meet you.

If you're fem he 100% calls you his Queen Bee, unashamed and honestly you're a little embarrassed by it.

You call him Honey and despite his loud and proud declarations of being 'your little worker bee' he cannot take it. His face heats up instantly

Eugene is such a sweetie and honestly a top notch yet very clumsy boyfriend.

Despite being able to recite a list of all your favorite things and interests at any moment, might not be the best at giving gifts.

Aside from bee products and sweet notes, he gives a lot of things related to his interests more than yours without meaning to, a very delicately rare (not endangered) butterfly, patches (many bee) he embroidered with cute puns or sayings, fudge.

Outdoor dates! He will try to convince you to go bug hunting with him, but will settle for just a forest walk or hike (immediately side tracked), picnic dates! He sets up the whole thing and has a very nice lunch put together for you.

He loves My Hero Academia and begs you to watch it with him, during one of his long rambles about bees you realize how he reminds you of Midoriya.

Eugene is very outgoing but not great around people, on top of being bullied often, he has a general anxiety with unfamiliar crowds or more than one new person at a time, he will try to subtly hide partially behind you, if you hold his hand to comfort him he will be so grateful.

Words of affirmation! While he isn't the biggest on physical contact or PDA, you and everyone else knows how much he adores you from how he stares at you like you put the sun in the sky and he always has something to say about how great you are.

If you have a fight please go comfort him once you cool down, he will blame himself and be very self depreciating (apologize soon or Wednesday will find you 🔪)

#Eugene Ottinger x reader #Eugene Ottinger imagine #Wednesday x reader #Wednesday imagine #my stuff

[simpfiles]

Sweet Paprika

a sexually repressed workaholic business woman enlists the services of the office’s fuqboi to help her be comfortable/confident enough sexually to seduce the man of her dreams. despite being only 12 issues the plot is jam packed with all the typical hallmark tropes but with a pg-13 rating (for the american release) and characters that hold more depth than expected.

the series is shockingly vanilla for a comic about devils and angels, which serves more for aesthetics and puns than lore or plot purposes. but there are two possible trigger warnings to be cautious about and that’s the initial slut shaming that’s prevalent through the first six issues and an emotionally manipulative ex.

the art is beautiful and stylized in a colorful cartoonish way that doesn’t take itself too seriously. it’s a shame that half of pages are over saturated by text that go to great lengths of spoon feeding the reader exposition. while the ending does resolve itself rather quickly, the journey was a fun ride. if you’re looking for a feel good comic with a happy ending then look no further. i laughed, i cried, i gave it a 4 out of 5 stars and put the spoilers part of my review below a read more.

i will come right out and admit my bias for this comic is deeply rooted in the fact that found myself projecting on to so many elements of this story it was insane. paprika’s relationship with sex, dill’s relationship with his father, anisette desire for recognition, even paprika’s trash ex, burnet, it was like mirka cherry picked aspects of my life and rewrote it into a romcom.

but aside from that, i really enjoyed how all the characters in the series whether protag or antag were given a chance to be more than just their archetype. no one is inherently all “good” or “bad” or too far beyond redemption (even brunet >:I) and speaking of characters i just want to gush over a few of the main players.

paprika. sweet sweet paprika. i love her so much. as far as romcom heroines go, she’s not as intolerantly volatile as some of the hallmark ones. i appreciate that she tries clear up misconceptions through actually talking to the other person and actually admits when she’s in the wrong (something that seems to be an impossible task for most  hallmark heroines). her need to always clarify “petting included” is also a lil fun gag.

dill. need me a dill pickle sandwich amirite?? [[BRICKED]] i shouldn’t like this man as much as i do. he has all the makings of a typical fuqboi manchild and yet his desire to be “good” and pathetic allure has me captivated. also his communicate skills are next level. he stands talls where all other romcom heroes fail and i respect him so much for that + cute doggie uwu

za’atar. look, i don’t love him but i get it. he has a nasty temper, and a perfect mixture of possessive but still respectful. i like the contrast between his romantic life vs work vs the version that paprika has made up in her head of him.it’s very multifaceted. and i LOVE how nervous in bed he is. it’s not that he’s inexperienced but gosh, what a loser. i am once again captivated.

burnet. hate him. wish he had a worst fate.

anisette. bby girl bby girl. ty mirka so much for making more complex than the Bitch(TM). she’s still an archetype but a good one. i wish her nothing but love and happiness. i enjoy that she brings out a different side of za’atar and was able to be with him without being the “second” choice.

like i said, the ending was way too rushed bu this is one series where i’m glad everyone gets a happy ending (expect for burnet. die) and that’s a testament to just how great the characters are.

#Sweet Paprika #xian #ranted up a storm on this one #but gosh i really do love it so and hope others will read it and talk about it with me #a free version is linked in the title

[sorcerous-caress]

I find the fireball very lovable! Please do Minthara and Halsin!

Aaa thank you <33

Most of these are actually positive! Well, except for one. Sol is a hypocrite in some too.

Sol with companions 2

Minthara

Sol isn't sure why you're going through all of this effort to save a single person. What are you gaining out of it?

When Minthara is finally recruited and they get to know her a bit and evaluate her power, they still don't get it. Everything Minthara has is something the rest of the companions already offer, what can she give you that they can't?

What do you mean you're not doing this for gain but just because you...like her? You do know she doesn't like you back or any of us really right?

But you still like her? You still see worth in her beyond gain?

You're weird, Sol concludes, it's not Minthara that's weird, it's you.

Still... they are actually kinda glad you did save her, Ketheric reminded them back of when the red dragon discarded one of their siblings so easily. Minthara isn't half bad. She doesn't sugarcoat things, and she speaks directly, which is always a plus in Sol's book.

But unlike Lae'zel, Minthara is more closed off. It's clear that she has room for only one person in her heart or as a friend and that's clearly you. Sol begrudgingly admits they did attempt to bond with her but were met with rejection, doesn't matter really, it's her loss.

Since when did they even try to bond with people? This is just confusing. By act 2, you've been influencing them with your weird "make friends with everyone I see" attitude. So really this is your fault.

They like her more than they care to admit. They wonder what she thinks of them, but she is very hard to read. They laugh at her puns a lot. They think she is very funny unironicly. Especially her murder jokes, oh, those never get old.

Minthara would be able to see through them very easily. She'd be able to tell early that they want her approval but are playing hard to get on purpose. She might find it amusing and pathetic.

But she'll tell you that the one thing about Sol she sees worth in, is the fact despite all their claiming and facade, they aren't actually over their head when it comes to magic like most Sorcerers. It's the fact they learned fighting and considered the possibility of losing their magic and needing a plan B.

Despite them lacking emotional stability, they are taking precautions and handling it better than most spoiled brats Minthara has seen in her lifetime. They aren't blinded by love for magic and actually treat it as the unstable unpredictable force it is.

But don't tell them that. It won't boast their ego like you think but will put them on edge around you for seeing through them. Minthara tells you to keep it to yourself.

Sol doesn't know much about elves or drows, really, and the only other two options in the party are...kinda off limits for Sol, so they resort to Minthara to hearing about elf culture. Which results in Sol getting misinformed. They learn drow propaganda as actual facts for elves thanks to Minthara.

Wait, you're dating Minthara now? Damn that's cool. They're actually impressed by you managing to do that. You know if the two of you are down to one night of sharing...then Sol might actually consider it.

Halsin

Doesn't trust him, doesn't like him, doesn't talk to him, or even looks his way. Doesn't even try being mean to him they just fully avoid him. That's how much he unnerves them.

At first they were excited when you told them about rescuing an arch-druid. Even if you're a druid, you're cool and all but you're not really an arch-druid are you? They can't wait to meet him and ask so many questions.

Then they do eventually meet him, and they're silent. Not speechless just quietly observing him. The more he talks, the more he fusses over you, the more he tells you about his plans to save the grove and how he needs your help, how he promises to be by your side.

Oh, they definitely don't like him.

His whole gentle demeanour, his soft mannerism. They keep looking for any hint of suppressed rage under his skin, any trace of malicious intent.

Why was he so quick to touch you? Why was he so quick to trust you?

The various scars littering his body, not from battle no, but from surrender. From purposely letting an animal win against him just so he wouldn't cause them harm.

The way he looks at Sol with clear pity, still extending a hand of guidance as if they're too a stray dog waiting to be cured by him.

Sol feels sick to their stomach whenever he's nearby.

There's a line between kindness and condescension. Sol thinks Halsin doesn't see them as a person but a by product of their environment.

Much like the shadowcurse, something to be cured and cleansed. Never realising how the shadow curse gave life to different flora and fauna that had as much of a right to exist as other plants. That every plant is technically a weed and not just what you deem to be unfit for your garden.

They expected an arch-druid to see life in everything, to realise that nature extends beyond what mortals deem as the natural order. That rot and decay is also a stage of healing. They are beyond disappointed by Halsin and his boxed views, how he thinks he has the right to speak for mother nature.

They warn you about him countless times, how he is biting more than he can chew. During the choice between him and Minthara in the good grove run, they side with Minthara and tell you it's the best to pick her.

The whole struggle of Sol with love is their overwhelming possessiveness and jealousy, something that's probably a joke to Halsin which is why irks them more.

They don't even envy him for it. He just seems so out of touch with reality and emotions for them that he might as well be an alien. Lae'zel what possibly could be an actual alien is so much more closer to their heart and relatable than Halsin ever could be.

Any dialogue or banter they have with him is mostly Halsin speaking and Sol avoiding his questions, not rocking the boat, never revealing anything to him.

They disapprove of his good ending where he adopts so many children, as a person who grew up in a family of many kids, they tell you how it never goes well. How not one of them will get enough attention, how Halsin will stretch himself thin to attempt to parent these children and it still will never be enough.

A single child requires beyond what most people think, the amount of effort it takes to raise a single soul, to nurture it, and care for it. Halsin is wa over his head for thinking raising children would be as easy as caring for packs of animals in a grove of regrowing a forest.

Most of all, they hate Halsin's willful ignorance and refusal to live in reality. Endless optimism is a slow deadly poison.

Minsc

They tried being mean to him, Boo bit them, Sol learned about true consequences that day.

They still are mean, but they keep a safe distance between them and Minsc from now on, just so no flesh eating rodent munches on their scales.

But it is hard to be mean to him, you know? He just misunderstands their words and thinks they're compliments. They feel like a failure, they're supposed to be good at this.

Although...he is strong, and a ranger is basically a discount druid, right? He keeps giving them these suggestions and solutions for how to deal with their magic, none of them make sense or even remotely work, but Sol finds them entertaining. And it kinda shows that he does think about them and other people during his free time...that's kinda sweet.

Act 3 Sol is a much softer person than Act 1 and Act 2, which is why they warm up to Minsc faster. Why they don't hide their fondness for him, plus he is the only person they agree to play chess with because he is the only person they can beat.

They never want to ever re-experience the humiliation of losing to Karlach while the whole camp was watching. At least Minsc cheered for them that time, and every time they win against him, he seems like he had fun instead of being a bitter loser like Sol.

Also, they kinda see themselves in him? How he ignores the fact he lost an arm wrestling match to Halsin. Sol definitely relates. He is just so human and filled with flaws yet so accepting of them and all people, not fake or selfless kindness.

He told Sol that he would knock them out on their bum and let Boo bite them if they turned out like the other evil sorcerers. That promise made Sol admire him more. Sure, they never believed in concrete, evil, or good, but his sole dedication to the cause is admirable.

Plus, if he is willing to tell them this, it shows how he isn't afraid to lose their friendship, how he isn't trying to keep them around for gain.

He...reminds them of an older brother they used to have. Sol was so young when he met his end, when one day he went inside the locked fireproof room only for him not to be there by the morning. Only a pile of ash behind the door, even his bones didn't survive.

He always picked Sol up, spun them around, called them adorable and didn't believe in the whole being mean notion that their family insisted on and how it builds thicker skin.

After his death, Sol became just like their other siblings, just as mean and bitter. They wonder if he'd be disappointed in them if he saw them now, if he'd still think of them as adorable.

They ask Minsc to spin them around one day when none is nearby, Minsc doesn't ask questions and just does it. Sol is eternally grateful.

Jaheira

Now that's a druid they can respect. They make fun of her for being so old, and she returns it and calls them a clueless fetus. A friendship is blossoming.

At the start tho, they did give her shit for being a lacking mother. Sol always took her kids side and commented on how she should be there for them, how it is selfish of her to choose the safety of the world over her own children.

To Sol's surprise, Jaheira didn't deny it and accepted it. Yes she is a very flawed person and a selfish bad mother at times, yes she can never balance her work and family. But fuck Jaheira went through a lot all the shit the world through at her, the fact she is still surviving is a miracle.

So someone as green as Sol doesn't get the right to judge her unless they can do better than her, if Sol demands perfection then they better meet their own standards first.

That she did her best with what the world had to offer, and she will still choose to adopt her kids each time no matter how harder it made her life. Because at least she was there for them when the whole world turned their back on them.

Sol stares at her for a while, before saying how much they hate how right she is about it. Fine, they were wrong and hasty.

And since that day they held sort of a mutual respect to each other? But not in a teacher student kind, never that.

Jaheira still listens to Sol's comments and takes their criticism in stride, and tells Sol when their opinion is wrong or their advice is lacking. In a way, both learn from each other.

Sol doesn't see her as a mentor or an authority figure at all, more like a colleague, if anything. Although the same can't be said about Jaheira, who gets the same headache around Sol that she gets around her daughter Rion,

Jaheira thinks the two of them would be friend if they met but knows it will give their menaces a multipler of x4, so she just hopes these two never meet.

Alternative universe if they ever met.

Sol: Your mom's a bitch

Rion: I know, and yours a whore.

Sol: I know, I heard you got fired from the flamingfist.

Rion: So?

Sol: Wanna set their building on fire?

Rion: ...is this for a pun?

Sol: Yes.

Rion: Nice, let's go.

Tara

Of course, Tara absolutely hates Sol for bullying Gale, even if she agrees with some of their criticism. Gale is still her baby, and only she gets to make fun of him. That puny sorcerer better know their place before Tara throws up a hairball on their pillow.

So Tara pretends she is just a normal cat around them out of spite, just replies with meows and rolls her eyes.

Sol is none the wiser, they think she is just a normal cat that happened to have wings. I mean some sorcerers are humans who happened to sprout dragon wings too so in Sol's world view it makes perfect sense for a cat like Tara to exist.

Worst of all, they think Tara likes them which is why she ruins their stuff a lot. They have no concept or frame of reference for how most animals should behave.

Attempted to pet her and got their whole arm scratched up? Awww this kitty must want to play, cats are so adorable.

Tara pissed on their bed just before it's time to sleep? Sol read in a book that cats only go to the bathroom in the spots they consider the most private and safe, Sol is beyond touched that Tara trusts their scent and bed this much.

They gave her a fish or food, and she threw it at them? Kitty wants to share and feed them! How considerate of her. She even chewed some of the food before she spat it in Sol's direction, just like how mama cats feed their babies!

What do you mean "no, that's birds"? Uh, no, Sol is pretty sure it's cats. You clearly don't know much about animals, do you.

Honestly Sol can never understand how someone as useless and pathetic as Gale managed to find such a thoughtful and nice cat. Really how could he not appreciate this animal?

Clearly, he doesn't give Tara enough attention. Otherwise, why would she follow Sol around this much? What do you mean there is an ominous evil look in her eyes? Nah, she is just a kitty cat. They're not evil. That's just their norm.

Tara could be hissing and screaching at them for no reason, and Sol, who is used to songs in the draconic language, would think she is singing for them or expressing her love.

Scratch

They call him Tav 2.0 sometimes, if you complain then they'll say fine they'll just call you Scratch junior instead, happy? No? Too bad Scratch junior.

Honestly, the resemblance is uncanny. They stare at the two of you whenever you pet him and check in with him, but if you look at Sol they'll immediately look away.

Made a list of companions, least and most likely to be sacrificed if the worst came to worst, and Scratch had no food left.

They added themselves to the list, so that makes it fine. Don't worry about it. And yes, you too are on the list.

When the group makes it to Act 3 and meets Scratch's previous owners. If Sol in the party they will insult them at how pathetic they are for only raising their hand on animals weaker than them, on how if that means Sol has the right to beat them up since they are clearly stronger.

Honestly, Sol is fully on board with killing them, saying how they don't even deserve to breed and continue their lineage. So what use do they have to the world? They're clearly annoying cowardly so just burn the whole bridge instead.

Talking about the city, if you end up going along with Sol's every whim or suggestion, your group will end up arreseted at some point. Luckily, Sol believes in bribes, which is what kept them out of prison for so long.

Owl bear cub

This is a fire hazard following them around with the cutest squeaks ever, and oh Sol is so weak to temptations. But Lae'zel and Tav are having a chat nearby and Sol can't afford to let them see this, they can't just hug something so fluffy and show others they can be soft.

At least nor during Act 1.

....maybe just a little bit, maybe they can sneak a feel or two?

Yeah they won't notice, they have shit perception right? Sol will just be sneaky which they're very bad at with all of their jingling jewellery. Or maybe they'll cast invisibility on themselves so they can hug the cute owlbear cub and bury their face in his feathers.

This is...so soft, is this heaven? How can one animal be this soft? Fuck druids are so lucky imagine having a friend who can turn into a walking cloud so easily, Sol would never stop cuddling them if they could.

Ah....was that a spark? Here goes another one and yep they've set fire to the oblivious owlbear who's clueless to the flames spreading on their feathers, Sol is panicking and picks up the owlbear cub who just thinks they're cuddling.

They're considering chucking him into the nearby river to get him into water as soon as possible. They're aren't thinking clearly. They just need to act fast.

Before they could do it and potentially ruin the owlbear cub's trust in them forever. A massive circle of water rains on them suddenly, sniffing out the flames and drenching both of them in water.

They look around to an annoyed Gale who's hand is glowing as he reattempts to focus on the book he's reading.

Did he help them?

But oh their invisibility is gone and they hear a snicker nearby from Tav who's standing next to a very confused Lae'zel, both looking at Sol, the supposed brutal mean Sorcerer who doesn't need anyone, with an owlbear cub in their arms who's licking the water off of their hair.

#♡Sol #♡MyOCs

[misteria247]

hey there! what are some of your favorite things about each version of leonardo that you're familiar with? (feel free to gush as much as u want btw; as a fellow leo stan, I live and breathe for leo appreciation posts)

Oh my God-!! Where do I even begin?????? There's just so much that I adore about these blue clad boys! Let's see-

Starting with 87:

The one thing I love about Leo in this variation, is his surprisingly short temper he sometimes shows! Like it was such a surprise to see him get irritated at a street vendor and cutting his table in half all because the guy was trying to sell him and his brothers something lol. I also love that he's secretly a dork! Like he seems so serious about everything and then you hear him drop a one liner and it's highly enjoyable to see this boy have enough fun to drop em! Not only that but he's so feral at times like this guy's go to to fix his problems is to either cut it, stab it or throw one of his swords at it and it's hilarious.

Now onto 03:

Leo in this series is the one that made me lowkey fall in love with him and made him my one true love and pathetic meow, meow for literally the next decade or so. Like I adored how calm and pleasant he was in this series. His level headed attitude and willingness to protect the ones around him, damage to his own being be damned it instantly made me admire him. Like seeing this older brother, the eldest child of his family give up so much and doing everything he could so his family could be happy was life changing for me. And his wisdom like holy shit, he's so wise for someone so young. That and his rare jokes and one liners like omfg yes.

The boy from 07:

Leo in this movie was such a fucking treat to see. Like the thing I love about this Leo is despite being the eldest and leader, he's a little shit. Like this boy??? Literally gets into a fight with Raph??? And literally says he's better than him like a cocky mother fucker????? Like that added with his snarky one liners and I'm in love with him. (Plus his pretty brown eyes are just *chef's kiss*).

(My ride or die) Now for 12:

Where to even begin with Leo in this one??? There's just so much I adore about this Leo specifically. I love his dorky jokes and his puns and one liners. I love how he's secretly rebellious beneath his supposed maturity. I love that he's a smartass and can be cocky about things. I adore how he can literally become completely unhinged on the drop of a dime, and he isn't afraid to do what he believes needs to be done. Leo's got so many things in this one that I simply adore about him, from his love of space and stars, to the loyalty and mothering and adoration that he has for his family and friends. He's selfless and kind hearted and much like Mikey he tries to see the best in people even when others tell him not too. Like there's just so damn much here in this guy and I love him to bits and pieces.

Bayverse here we go:

Leo in these movies is honestly such a treat to see! I love how he's the big brother and how he's willing to do whatever it takes to protect his family and friends. I love how badass and dorky he can be and his stubbornness is lowkey incredibly charming in many ways. Plus his jokes and one liners while rare are hilarious and his snarky comments are masterpieces each and every time. (Plus his muscles are quite pleasant to see from time to time just saying don't judge me-).

And finally Rise:

Again where to even begin??? Leo in this one is so refreshing to see! I love his dorky ass and his cockiness and confidence. I love how he's the jokester yet when things get serious he's instantly a major threat to those who stand in his way. I love how he's selfless when it comes to his family and friends and I love his dad jokes and puns and quips. I adore his chaotic and awkward energy and his manipulative attitude to get things to go the way he wants them too. I freaking love how he can come up with the most unhinged ideas and plans that shouldn't work yet he makes them each and every time. He's also such a little shit like honestly it's great.

I just adore Leonardo Hamato so much, I love his dorkiness, his courage, his determination and willingness to do what's right. I love his jokes and puns and one liners and sarcastic comments, his skills with the blade and his selflessness. He's amazing and wonderful and he's literally one of the best characters that I've ever seen, Leo's just a fantastic character and an amazing brother and great leader. He's smart, wise and talented and even though he doesn't see his own worth his brothers see it as well as us Leo fans. I just-

Ugh I love this dude so much I've been in love with him since I was like four-six age range and I've been in love with him ever since. I'll literally die for him and throw hands for him. Leonardo Hamato my pathetic little meow, meow.

#oli talks #ooc #muns ramblings #mindless ramblings of a madman #asks #anonymous asks #ask and you shall receive #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #tmnt #rottmnt #tmnt 1987 #tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2007 #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016 #tmnt 2018 #tmnt bayverse #bayverse tmnt #tmnt leo #rottmnt leo #Leonardo Hamato #no thoughts head empty rn #only him #forever him #I believe in Leonardo Hamato supremacy #he's the spirit of his team the leader and the one that inspires his brothers and friends to do better like I love him sm Anon

[wackyrumble]

Momoi Taro v.s. Stephan Pastis

Momoi Taro - Avataro Sentai Donbrothers

Momoi was born from a peach, he is infuriatingly perfect aside from his poor acting skills and inability to lie lest he die. (though he can be revived by being fed kidibango) Missed important battles because he got called into work, twice. His neighbors protested against him when he was 8 and he regularly shows up to battle by being carried by shirtless men. Read more about Momoi below.

Stephan Pastis - Pearls Before Swine

The degenerate loser self insert of cartoonist, Stephen Pastis. He's depicted as a heavy smoker and gets divorced by his wife, so he lives in a basket on her porch. All things completely unlike and opposite to the real Stephan Pastis. His characters hate him and beat him up. Read more about Stephan below.

Full description of Momoi:

“He was born from a peach. He delivers packages but will also just barge into the homes of strangers to help them with stuff bc now they have a bond. He will literally die if he tells a lie but can be revived by feeding him 300 kibidango. He is infuritatingly perfect at everything and is hated for it. Missed an important final battle with his enemy who is also in love with him bc someone called out at work so he had to go to work instead. This happened twice. One of those fights were planned while underwater in a pool. I'm still not sure why he regularly beat up his own team mates while laughing at them. He can leave his body behind and turn into a little robot. He broke into a house and tried to stuff his team mate into a fridge bc it might lead to another dimension. Despite being unable to lie he Can act and seems to enjoy it but it's somehow the Only thing he sucks at and to a hilarious extend. Still gets the role in a movie. Invited his mortal enemy out to dinner. Showed the greatest amount of emotion at the mention of his childhood pet beetle. When he was 8 years old all his neighbors hated him so much they did a protest against him. When I think about him it doesn't feel like there's any reason for him to be cool and yet he somehow is. Regularly shows up to battle carried by a bunch of shirtless beefy men. Was faced with an extremely intimidating piece of paper and gobbled it down in one bite, no hesitation. I'm extremely bad at writing and I feel like nothing I could say could properly live up to the wackiness of anyone in this show tbh.”

Full description of Stephan:

“Self-insert of the cartoonist but instead of being idealized like most self-inserts, fictional-Stephan is intentionally made laughably pathetic. For starters, instead of the other characters praising him or being his friends, they regularly insult and physically attack him as punishment for his bad drawing/writing (Rat often hits him over the head with a baseball bat after elaborate pun strips, for example). What's more, fictional-Stephan is usually shown smoking heavily, to the point fans have made passionate pleas to the real Stephan to quit... but real Stephan has actually never smoked a day in his life, he just makes the character do it "to look like a degenerate loser" (his words, not mine). In recent years, there was a plotline in the strip where fictional-Stephan's wife Staci divorces him and kicks him out of the house, so he lives out of a basket on her porch (really) and there are many jokes relating to it at his expense (my personal favorite being when she tried to donate him to the Salvation Army). This caused people who knew real Stephan and his wife to reach out and ask if everything was okay or if they were really getting divorced, but in reality their marriage is perfectlyfine and Staci was aware and approved of the plotline, it was done purely to make his own self-insert the most ludicrous butt-of-the-joke imaginable. We need more self-insert characters like this tbh, 11/10”

#momoi taro #momoi tarou #avataro sentai donbrothers #pearls before swine #stephan pastis #wacky round 1b