Reconnecting with myself and who I am has been such an emotional rollercoaster. I never knew how much I’ve missed who I am until I began to do the things I love again, and making time for myself. A sense of nostalgia I’ve been having while also reconnecting to my teen self before I’ve begun to distance myself from me. It’s a weird concept to describe to people. How does one distance themselves from themselves?
Simple, you begin to fit yourself to someone else’s needs and wants. I was in a very unhealthy relationship as a teen and over that time I lost who I was. Than I started another relationship, and I did the same thing even though the relationship was healthy. Now not being in a relationship, I have time to rediscover my likes and dislikes and the people I want to surround myself with.
I suggest no matter your relationship status to revisit the things you liked to do as a teen and child and see if it brings you joy and try to make time for it even if it’s once month.
I’m still trying to access my old blog: @junchun but the email I use is connected to a phone I no longer have access to so I have to wait to re-access that email so I can get access to my old blog again.
While it’s become my kpop archive to say the least, I have a lot of updates. It’s been a long time since I was on tumblr as I spend most of my time scrolling tiktok or managing my family.
So here’s a brief update for any of my followers (if there’s any left!)
Content you can expect to see:
- DCMK
- Kpop
- Bluey
- HTTYD
- ACOTAR series
- Vicious Lost Boys series
- Shitposting
- Writing updates
- other inspiration
Anyway - if you’re still here, say hi or something!
For some, it makes sense that father wound healing would include unpacking religious trauma and indoctrination.
Church became like a club where we were all competing to please our angry father. Which mirrored the narcissistic family I had at home.
Of all the different kinds of abuse, spiritual abuse leaves a special kind of scar... on the soul. Someone who feels very naturally curious/inclined toward spirituality and has childhood wounds of abuse that left them "eager to please authority".... will be like a lamb tossed from one wolf to another in spiritually abusive communities. "Spiritual narcissists" are definitely a real thing... eventually you'll be so disgusted by them that you'll be forced to claim sovereignty over your own spiritual path. ✨️
pizza with mozzarella balls !!! the mozzarella balls were really yummy !!! i filled both my sippy cups up with something to drink because i wanted chocolate milk and cold water ^^;
AT SEVENTEEN I STARTED TO STARVE MYSELF I THOUGHT THAT LOVE WAS A KIND OF EMPTINESS AND AT LEAST I UNDERSTOOD THEN THE HUNGER I FELT AND I DIDNT HAVE TO CALL IT LONELINESS
My father passed when I was child. I forgot in my journey to heal my inner child and inner teen, I forgot how much grief I still hold. And it just reminds me how much love I had for this human being. We grief because we love the person. Another harder pill to sallow is soon I will be older than he ever was. As I grow older the more I wish he was here. I could one of his hugs so badly.
I’ve seen that in order to heal your inner child and teen, you’re supposed to learn to let go of your anger and resentment, but I’m not doing that. I worked hard to earn the right to express my anger. I have big emotions that deserve to be felt in their entirety after being bottled up for so long. I will allow myself to feel it all.