I’ve seen that in order to heal your inner child and teen, you’re supposed to learn to let go of your anger and resentment, but I’m not doing that. I worked hard to earn the right to express my anger. I have big emotions that deserve to be felt in their entirety after being bottled up for so long. I will allow myself to feel it all.
Ok, the concert was awesome. They played some of their old songs and my inner teenie had the time of her life. I did this for her. I went there all by myself. Anxious as hell but I still did it. I'm finally showing up for myself. I'm finally being the adult my inner child and inner teenager always needed. I'd do anything for them. I'm healing.
I love when people talk about healing their inner child, like absolutely. You should always heal your inner child. They deserve it. But I was pretty clueless to the abuse I suffered as a child, and as a result, I only slowly came to realize that everything that happened to me wasn't this big, cool secret about myself. That when my parents told me to hide what happened, it wasn't because I was cool for it. No, they were actually several devastating traumas slowly built up to make me who I am now. I only started to see things clearly when I was about 14. And by then all the abuse had set in...and I'd felt like an outcast from my peers, it was hurting friendships, and my desire to talk to new people because of how HEART shatteringly insecure I was. I came home just about every day and cried after school because of how ugly and awful I felt I was, and my home was not a safe place for these feelings. My childhood felt so amazing despite what was happening at home, simply because I was naive. My traumatic memories were left for teenage me to face. They might have happened at a young age, but it didn't ruin my childhood because I was so blissfully unaware of what it was doing to me. I was quick to move on and forget as a child. Teenage me was the one who pieced it all together. They need more healing than my inner child because the awareness and judgment passed onto me during my teen years on top of the childhood trauma I hadn't fully came to terms with was too much to bear. I was made painfully bitter to the bone after certain realizations hit me, despite being a happy child more often than not.
2013 tumblr was a whole different thing, and I’m sure in the years before it. I am currently reminiscing on my days as the all-fandoms superwholock emo bands.. basically my high school years.. and I remember watching shows live as they aired.. im so far behind on most of them now.. I don’t know how to engage in fandom anymore 🥲😅 but I sure miss the days when I’d be watching the latest dr who and see pictures from when they were filming the next.. right, and all the memes and references.. when tumblr was my home. I feel so estranged from modern tumblr but I feel like other social media has really clogged up my internet-life.. im actually contemplating deleting Facebook. I’ve just been scrolling through tumblr posts I made 10 years ago when I was 15 and a teenager with a broken heart, I really wish I could achieve those goals I had set back then.. I don’t know where to start 😅 I miss myself. And my tumblr username has evolved a bit since then because of all the times I’ve ran from myself.
im having emotions i havent feel in a while during this warior nun binge thing
seems like i healed my inner chld well enough now my fucking inner teen needs the teenage angst
also been listening to lots of fucking midwest emo music
at my fucking adult job
wtf is happening
sorry not sorry i came here to vent and also for content but we are lacking avatrice content that could heal my bleeding heart
after his defection and integration into the ragtag team of autobots, blitzwing gets to experience being a stupid irresponsible kid for the first time (with optimus exasperatedly responsible for him) imagine going from war crimes being your biggest worry to. ordinance laws.
he would be a lil shit about it and find it funny. because he finally has the freedom to say fuck authority
Leo’s love for magicians and magic shows isn’t brought up enough tbh, because it directly ties into the idea of a persona and fooling the audience’s eyes to see something that’s not actually there. This connects to his love of performance in general but also ties into why he struggled so much with his mystic powers.
Magic tricks are exactly that, tricks, a performance, masked actions hiding the truth. Meanwhile mysticism is intrinsically linked to the self and so Leo’s difficulty in even unmasking to himself is a big part of his journey that he continues to struggle with and in this essay I will-