#her constant desire to connect with people but not be too close out of fear of getting attached. their drive to always grant people's wishe | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

murdrdocs · 7 months

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FORMIDABLE COOL. ethan landry

about. blinded by your attraction and romanticization of college, you don't realize that ethan landry isn't who he says he is until it's too late

includes. DARK CONTENT 18+ fem! reader, mean!ethan, ghostface!ethan, p n v, manipulation (!!),, choking/breath play

wc: 1.4k+

→ kinktober masterlist

Out of everyone else in the friend group, it’s easiest for Ethan to get close to you.

Unsuspecting you, wide eyes and hopeful glances at anyone who looks your way, the desperation to live out your ‘college fantasy’ leaking from every single pore in your body. The stench of your sheer desire pulls him in, it urges Ethan to switch from that shy and dorky facade he’s put up around Chad and his friends to a more confident flair, the ego he uses while he’s behind screens on forums online.

It’s frighteningly easy to get you to give in. All he has to do is smile and look at you twice, and suddenly you’re spreading your legs for him in a movie theater, some new film you originally seemed thrilled to see entering the third act without either of you knowing any of the key plot points.

It’s after the first time that you cum on his fingers that you’re infected. His own personal love fool.

Truthfully, after you meet him for the first time, taking part in an insufferable ice breaker in a group of five other people, your name has inched its way up the Bailey dead pool, sitting pretty right below the other five of the friend group Ethan is steadily infiltrating.

You have the urge to eat, breathe and sleep Ethan Landry, your awe filled eyes glazing over any possible red flags in his behavior. You’re too busy forcing yourself into his lap and curling your hands into his hair to realize that he’s been blowing you off more often recently. You’re too busy bouncing yourself on his cock to notice the bruises he has along his back and shoulders, inflicted from someone other than you. You’re too busy grinding your face up into his mouth to take in his constant lies, times, dates, and actions that don’t line up well enough.

It takes you impossibly long to even start to notice his act, to start to take in the inconsistencies of his character depending on who you’re around. It’s Mindy who brings it to your attention first, coming to you as a caring friend, voice softer and rash opinions heavily watered down as she approaches you like she would a wounded animal. And when you flip out on her, denial heavy on your tongue which seems drier than usual, she only smiles at you sadly and watches as you run back to Ethan, another lie inevitably fed into your welcoming ears.

It all comes to a head on your floor.

Worn down hardwood creaks with each shuffle. The material is rough against your bare legs. The playlist you had going has ended, leaving nothing but the soft breaths from you and Ethan to fill the silence of the bedroom.

Your questions are spoken into the air, answered by Ethan like he’s your savior. Like he can control you. And he can.

He has.

His hand around your neck, his cock entering your walls over and over, the pace steady and slow, each thrust harder than the last, sending you up the wood, the rough scratch of it against your back. The words he has spoken to you – his confession – reverberate through your body, bouncing around your mind all the way down to your lungs which scream for the need of constant airflow.

Sensing your state, his hand loosens just enough to allow air in, the rough palm still circling around your neck as he refuses to let you go completely. You fear he’ll never let you go. But even more, you fear that you don’t want him to.

You don’t realize it, but hot tears are sliding down your cheeks at this point. It’s not until he points them out that you start feeling the emotions connected to them, shame and embarrassment and guilt planting itself in your brain, manifesting throughout your body.

“Why’re you crying, sweetheart?�� His voice wobbles just enough to show you that he’s affected, too, but definitely not in the same way. He has a smile on his face, borderline villainous, opposite from the sweet and charming smile you’re used to seeing from him. Sweat beads above his eyebrow, a testament to the chase he’d led you on, followed by the slow fucking he’s been giving you for God knows how long.

Your eyes pinch shut, a pitiful attempt to dry your tears up without the use of your hands, rendered useless and bound between your bodies. It doesn't work well, and you flinch when you feel a drop of Ethan’s sweat land on your cheek, mixing with your self-created fluid.

You’d assumed the question was rhetorical, a taunt to remind you of your inferior status in this fucked up relationship. It’s not until he hums questioningly that you realize you’re expected to respond.

Your eyes pinch together tighter and you shake your head, only making Ethan chuckle.

“No? You don’t know why you’re crying?” Nothing from you. You refuse to give him more, especially when you’re already letting him abuse your cunt. Because that’s what you’re doing.

You let him lay you back. You let him peel your legs open. You lifted your hips and moaned approvingly when he slid your panties off and inserted two fingers into your entrance.

“Open your eyes. Look at me.” The authoritative tone is more attractive than it should’ve been, and it has you instantly doing as told, eyes opening to look into those same dark brown ones you used to love so much.

“Why’re you crying, baby?” he asks you again. “You knew it – this – was all an act, didn’t you?”

And when you think back, you think you did know. You deluded yourself enough to think that this was sincere, genuine, your college dream. The thought heats up your neck, it stirs something unpleasant in your chest, it has you letting out a desperate cry that quickly slips into a pleading moan.

His hand squeezes at the sides of your throat, thumb sticking under your jaw to lift your head. “Answer me.”

Your nod suffices as an answer, especially when more tears slide down your already blotchy cheeks. His grin grows, spreading to either side of his face, reminiscent of a cheshire cat.

Satisfied with what you’ve given him, he plants a kiss at the center of your forehead, and you curse yourself for melting into it. It’s the last act of physical kindness he gives it, because he’s instantly gripping your hips, hiking your legs up around his waist, and fucking you with no mercy.

You cum with the sound of Ethan’s balls slapping against your skin, mixed in an almost beautiful harmony with your quiet sobs and the unabashed squelching of your cunt around his cock, a cacophonous edge to the sounds that perfectly represents your relationship with Ethan himself.

#🕸️ 𝐌𝐔𝐑𝐃𝐑𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐑 #ethantobr!#ethan landry x reader #ethan landry x you #ethan landry smut

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arcadias-hell · 8 months

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Hello ! Can I request being partner in crime with Vanny / Vanessa ? As in for example, helping her hide the body, cleaning up behind her although the ready doesn't necessarily participate in the crimes themselves either because Vanny didn't fill s/o in about peepaw Burntrap or because, she (s/o) just doesn't want her hands dirty. Let's say it's sort of out of love but also a bit of entertainment for the reader. Those are juste suggestions and ideas tho ! Have a nice day

I seriously haven't written in ages but immmmm back, kinda. hope this is ok. Together Within the Pizzaplex, securing a job had become an incredible hard endeavor. The once multiple-hundred-people-staff filled establishment had turned to mechanized staff, those damn lifeless Staffbots, leaving only a handful of mechanics and the Security Night Guard Vanessa to tread its dimly lit halls during the night.

So, when Y/N's inbox chimed with an unexpected email from Fazbear Entertainment bearing the subject line "Congratulations on Your New Job" it was a moment of bewildering joy but also fear. The "Welcome to the Family!" at the end of the email made it feel even more real and kinda spooky.

The motive behind Y/N's application was not a passionate allegiance to the company or an adoration for the animatronics that brought joy to children's faces. Rather, it was an act fueled by a love that resided elsewhere – a love for Vanessa. Amidst the shadows, Vanessa assumed her role as a nocturnal guardian of the Pizzaplex, standing strong against whatever eerie mysteries lurked within its walls, however she also had a dark secret – her other side called Vanny. She’d dress up in a rather scary white bunny costume, which seemed to be hand sewn, and she would do bad things. Y/N knew about it, and it made things complicated.

The connection between Y/N and Vanessa was the kind that transcended the ordinary. However, the love between them was not without its complexities. As the moon cast its glow upon the Pizzaplex, Y/N would become a silent accomplice to Vanessa's misdeeds, offering assistance in the aftermath, but never directly participating in the crimes herself. Vanessa had a softer side that only Y/N knew about, the side about her that she fell in love with and the one that was only reserved for her. She felt guilty for dragging her lover into this mess, fearing the consequences and also the dreading fear and paranoia of “going too far”. It was a thought that always plagued her. Would today be the final straw? Would Y/N eventually betray her and go to the police? All these thoughts were present during all times, dimming her concentration, causing her to be more sloppy and make more mistakes. The Virus that possessed her mind told her to just kill her and be done with it. It caused her headaches so bad that she would throw up and not be able to do anything. But not once did she bow to it, never let it even get close to killing her loved one.

For Y/N these actions she committed herself weren't a manifestation of her inherent desire for this kind of Lifestyle, one in constant stress, hiding and fear, but rather a reflection of her deep devotion. In this rather unconventional partnership, Y/N became the shadow that swept away incriminating traces and whispered assurances of loyalty to her love. As the nights at the Pizzaplex passed by, Y/N's unease grew. She knew Vanessa, and while Ness never explicitly told her about the voices in her head or her reasoning, she knew it was getting worse. Vanessa wasn’t sleeping, barely eating and hell, barely functioning as a normal human at all. She acted almost mechanical, more so than even the animatronics of the Plex. It worried Y/N, however she knew or rather believed that she was unable to change her fate. This is just how things would be. Till when? Till Vanessa or her would make a mistake, don’t clean up, miss evidence, kill the wrong kid or one of the animatronics noticed what was going on. Every day was a constant thrill, the somewhat excitement mixed with terror was something Y/N got used to. She maybe even started liking it.

Vanessa's motives remained hidden, with her withholding information about "him" due to her desire to keep Y/N’s hands unsoiled and to do overall damage control . The dynamic that unfolded was one of questionable but also heavy love. It was a union that blurred the lines between right and wrong, where Y/N danced on the edges of Vanessa's fucked up world and what it contained. While not directly involved in the misdeeds herself, Y/N's participation was an embodiment of loyalty and a testament to the nature of their relationship. In the realm of the Pizzaplex, where animatronics came to life and secrets hid beneath the surface, Y/N and Vanessa wove a narrative that challenged the ordinary, making their mark on a story filled with shadows and secrets waiting to be unveiled.

The nights at the Pizzaplex were long and creepy. Y/N got used to the machines buzzing and the dark hallways. Vanessa was the only human around, doing her job and pretending everything was okay. She avoided the animatronics at all costs but they always seemed to pop up around every corner. This of course made things more difficult but a work around was somehow always found. One night, when the moon was risen again, covered by thick storm clouds which casted eerie shadows across the Pizzaplex, Y/N found herself unable to hold back her questions any longer. She decided to confront Vanessa in the main control room, her eyes filled with a mix of concern and determination.

"Vanessa," Y/N began, their voice shaky yet with a hint of anger, "I can't keep going on like this and ignore this. Who is 'he', the one you mention all the time? What's going on? I need to know the truth, Ness. Please, I’m begging you! Tell me!”

Vanessa's expression shifted from surprise to a mixture of guilt and sadness. She hesitated for a moment, her eyes darting away as she struggled with her response. Finally, with a heavy sigh, she tried speaking up, desperately wanting to tell the truth, but something, he, kept her from making a single sound. For a second it felt like she was choking, she couldn’t breathe. She fought against him, the headache returning. However, she knew she had to fight it, tell her lover what was going on. Looking into her eyes, she gathered all her strength and she finally found back her voice.

“'It's Afton," Vanessa admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. “..or so I believe… I stumbled upon him when I was working as a beta tester a few years ago. He… he manipulated me, drew me into his twisted plans and now I can’t escape. There is no turning back and no redemption for me ahead.” Tears were now falling from her face, she was shaking slightly, however not a sound was coming from her now.

Y/N's eyes widened as the truth unfolded. Afton, she called him, the entity that had tainted Vanessa's nights with darkness, had trapped her in a web of endless pain and terror. It was a revelation that simultaneously answered questions and raised new ones. "I didn't want any of this, Y/N," Vanessa continued, her voice trembling. "But he… he made me believe that I had to carry out his plans, that it was the only way to free him.”

Vanessa's words hung heavy in the air, each one a glimpse into the torment she had been enduring. Y/N watched her struggle, torn between a desire to provide comfort and an unsettling awareness of the extreme force that held Vanessa captive. Y/N's heart ached for Vanessa, her thoughts wandering between the love she felt and the horrifying realization that Vanessa had been manipulated by some supernatural force this entire time. The pieces of the puzzle were finally falling into place – Vanessa's dual identity, the awful happenings at the Pizzaplex, and the enigmatic force behind it all.

Afton – the name invoked a sense of dread, a connection to the dark past that Fazbear Entertainment concealed. Y/N reached out, gently taking Vanessa's trembling hand. The touch was a reassurance, a silent promise that they were in this together. Vanessa's tear-streaked face held the anguish of someone caught in a battle for control, a battle that extended beyond the visible realm into the depths of her mind. "Vanessa," Y/N spoke softly, her voice steady and filled with empathy, "I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. But you're not alone in this fight. We'll face Afton – or whoever he is – together. There's so much strength in you, and we'll find a way to break you free from his grip. Together.”

Vanessa's eyes met Y/N's, a mixture of gratitude and pain reflecting in their depths. She nodded, a silent acknowledgment of the support they shared. The struggle within her was noticeable, the seemingly invisible battle between Vanessa and the supernatural presence that sought to control her. The Pizzaplex, once a place of joy and laughter, now stood as a battleground between light and darkness, life and death.

#fnaf x reader #Vanessa x reader #vanny x reader

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iambic-stan · 1 year

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Janeway and Kes

I write a lot of this sort of thing, and now I've written something that I don't mind sharing. So...not surprisingly, it's Star Trek and hearts. In part based on some events from the Voyager series, the rest is my brain filling in many blanks.

It's nearly midnight, and Kathryn knows she should be asleep, not gazing at the stars, wondering when she'll see Mark again, what he's doing, whether he's worried or writing her off as dead. The view of constellations outside the ship is beautiful until, suddenly, she sees visions within them of the Caretaker's array being destroyed--heralding the horror of their indefinite stay in the Delta Quadrant. She closes her eyes quickly to force the vision away, though she's failed to truly shake it for months. In the morning, there will be meetings with the senior officers and bridge duty, and tonight there's a pile of padds to read through. Despite her insomnia, though, she can't bring herself to be productive. Her door chimes once, jolting her out of her ruminations. "Come in," she says, rising from her couch. Kes is on the other side of the door, looking sheepish. Kathryn notes what must be the Ocampan's answer to pajamas--a fitted but utilitarian earth-toned top and long pants. It's quite a contrast to her own pink satin nightgown--an article of clothing she'd likely feel embarrassed to be wearing in front of most of the other members of the crew. "It's so late; I'm so sorry," Kes stutters meekly. "No, it's lovely to see you, Kes. What's on your mind?" Kathryn quickly asks, grateful for unexpected company so kind and non judgemental. "Would you like something to drink?"

Kathryn uses the excuse of replicating Kes' pear and spinach juice to replicate more coffee for herself, though she fears that doing so negates any chance she had of sleeping well. "Please, sit down," she says, motioning toward her couch. "Captain...I know you want everyone to be treated equally," she begins, seemingly with some hesitation. "Of course, dear," Kathryn insists, brows furrowed. She places the drinks on her coffee table and takes Kes' hands. "Are you and Neelix unhappy? What can I do?" she asks, searching the other woman's face. "Oh, no--we're fine," Kes ensures her. "It's the EMH." Unthinking, Kathryn pulls back. "Well, he is a hologram," she points out, suddenly feeling as though she's speaking to a child. "He's a sentient being," Kes corrects, fire behind her soft eyes. "He is talked about in third person by those he is assigned to care for! They ask me, an inexperienced field medic, for advice on subjects about which he is the expert in the room. He says he is accustomed to it, but his tone says he feels unhappy, unappreciated. He is as lost as all of you in this quadrant, but he has applied his Starfleet medical knowledge and training to help people like me--people none of you had ever even seen until a year ago. He loves to learn, and he yearns for more. He cares for me, and I feel in him the desire to connect with others deeply, to be considered a member of this crew in every way that one can be, but everyone else has written him off cruelly." Kathryn notices tears in the corners of Kes' eyes as she reaches the end of her impassioned appeal. Has her view of life and cognizance been so narrow? Had she never considered the consequences of continuously running a holographic program, until the situation necessitated his constant service? Kes bows her head, her blonde curls cascading down her face, and Kathryn wonders if she's hiding her tears. "Thank you for bringing this to my attention, Kes. I'll speak with him directly, identify his needs, and instruct the crew accordingly." She sits in awe of this younger woman who was able to perceive what she could not. Has she been too wrapped up in her own woes, her guilt for stranding everyone out here? Kes' face brightens, and she reaches over to hug Kathryn. "Captain, thank you so much for being receptive to this." Kathryn holds her for a moment, rubbing her back and breathing in her warmth.

The two have been sitting this way for a few heartbeats when Kes asks, "What's that glittering in the other room?" "What do you mean?" Kathryn asks, then almost immediately realizes. She releases Kes from their embrace and walks to her bedroom. When she returns, she's holding what looks like some kind of metal device, but one that's oddly festive. It has what appears to be a silver headset attached to lavender colored tubing of some kind, which makes a "Y" shape which comes down to a single tube and ends with a round metal disc with a plastic cover full of bright pink and purple glitter that shines intensely despite the instrument's obvious age. This is the first time anyone has asked Kathryn about it, but also the first time that Ensign Case has forgotten it in her quarters. She must've done it inadvertently when they were using it the other evening, before she remembered she was due to have dinner with Ensign Kim. "This actually belongs to Ensign Case," Kathryn explains, "A centuries-old medical tool she found some years ago. But we don't really think of it in that way, as a medical instrument. But...it is nice." Kes looks confused, but her interest is piqued. "I was drawn to the sparkling piece at the end, but now I'm even more curious," she confesses. Kathryn smiles, happy to share this, and twice as happy to have her mind off of her worries for a moment.

"It's nothing that you would need, not unless everything went quite sideways and we had no functioning medical tricorders," she explains. "But, it has a way of making me feel grounded, at peace, when my brain won't allow it otherwise. It's called a stethoscope." As a way to show instead of tell, Kathryn reaches forward with the ear tips, gently moves Kes' hair behind her shoulders, and carefully places them inside her ears, running her fingers along one of the ridges momentarily, curiously admiring ears so starkly different from her own. Kes chuckles for a moment, then watches as Kathryn places the disc directly on her own chest, just above the collar of her gown. The two women sit in silence for a few seconds before Kes says, wonderment in her voice, "I can hear your heart beating, really clearly, Captain. I've never heard someone's heartbeat quite like this. So...closely, so vividly. And I hear your breathing alongside it. It's so calming." Kathryn smiles and watches the woman's face while she listens, all the while feeling vulnerable yet safer, somehow. She reflects on the irony of feeling safe in such a precarious situation as being stranded so many light years from home. But Kes turns out to be a fantastic listener--her eyes, the color of the sky back home in Indiana, Kathryn realizes, are staring straight ahead, calm while she listens for several minutes. Kes removes the ear pieces and looks for a moment at the instrument, running her hands down the pale purple tubing with its specks of silver glitter. "I feel like you let me into your world in a unique way," she says. "Thank you. Do you want to listen to my heart?" she asks, and Kathryn does, though she wanted Kes to offer and did not want to make assumptions.

"Ensign Case doesn't mind?" Kes asks. "Oh no," Kathryn assures her. "I think she would be happy to know someone else enjoyed...what did she call it? Cardiophilia," she recalls. Kes nods, accepting a new English word that sounds fitting enough for the scenario. Kathryn turns the binaurals so they're angled to fit correctly in her own ears, then reaches over to Kes' side of the couch, gently placing the shiny chest piece over her nightclothes as Kes moves to sit closer to her. Immediately, Kathryn is surprised. "Kes! Your heart is racing. It's...it's so fast," Kathryn trails off, not expecting to hear valves shutting so quickly she can't count all the beats as they come in such rapid succession. While Kathryn is concerned, Kes just giggles. "And yours was so slow to me, even with the coffee. Ocampan heart rates are much faster than humans, on average. This is just my resting heart rate," she shrugs, smiling broadly. Taking in this new information, Kathryn's gaze falls to the floor of her quarters. What a curiosity life is--that she would be sharing this intimacy with someone from the other side of the galaxy--someone as alien as she's ever met, and who seems quite human nonetheless, worrying about her fellow crewmate's well-being. Her mind begins to wander, and she feels self-critical for not realizing the EMH needed her attention--she's the captain of the vessel, after all. She shudders for a second, knowing the familiar guilt that plagues her is making its way to the front of her mind. Almost as a deliberate, meditative act, she focuses on the racing of Kes' heart, picturing the leaflets of her valves, semilunar and atrioventricular, opening and closing in unison, but so rapidly it's dizzying. Or is that even how Ocampan hearts are structured? she wonders. Nevertheless, Kes' sounds quite human. Slowly but surely, her mind lets go of her anxieties, and she hears only the Ocampan's steady heartbeat. After several minutes, she removes the stethoscope, softly telling Kes, "Thank you." All at once, it seems, the feeling rushes at her and she realizes, I can sleep. As though reading her mind, Kes rises from the couch and says, "That was lovely, Captain, and thank you again for hearing me out about the EMH. I know he will appreciate your efforts. I'm going to get some rest," she says, taking her leave. "You're very welcome, dear," Kathryn tells her, and when she turns off her lamp and climbs into bed, she falls immediately into a deep sleep, one devoid of anxious dreams and nightmares that often threaten her peace.

#cardiophile #cardiophilia #star trek #star trek voyager #voyager fanfic #kes #janeway #kathryn janeway #star trek fan fiction #stethoscope #stethoscopes #stories #cardiophile story

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horizon-verizon · 1 year

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Do you think Daemon actually had sex with Mysaria during the dance? Personally, I doubt it a bit. Far too many people take this story for granted. Note that I'm not saying it's impossible. Simply that the reverse is not either. I'm curious to hear your opinion on this?

Motivations and Why People May Stray or Cheat

a lack of emotional and/or sexual connection in the relationship

unmet needs: attention, sex, undemanding or non-stressful conversation

excitement and just sexual desire

opportunity and unexpected situations

wanting variety and being attracted to other people

falling out of love and/or falling in love with someone(s) else

looking for some emotional refuge or “peace” away from relationship

verbal, emotional, or physical abuse--actual safe space

feeling trapped and having no options out of a relationship (which can be abusive)

anger/revenge

self empowerment: to combat feelings of feeling lost themselves

substance abuse

paranoia and fears of abandonment

The Dance and Our Players

The Dance began when Alicent and Otto called the green council and killed Lord Beesbury. This means that Mysaria was in King's Landing and Daemon was with Rhaenyra in Dragonstone before Aemond kills Lucerys. Daemon would not have been physically close enough to Mysaria to have sex with her.

Even if she was with him and Rhaenyra at Dragon stone occasionally over their married-family years, Daemon and Rhaenyra had no evidential nor strong suggestive marital disputes or lasting tension from external pressures like they would have later when they are all in King's Landing and Rhaenyra's grief over her two lost sons dissociates her from Daemon.

I don't think that Daemon would have looked to Mysaria or had sex with her before Rhaenyra took King's Landing because Mysaria had nothing to emotionally offer him that Rhaenyra wasn't already.

As for while they are in King’s Landing, I now think he didn’t because he spent too long with Rhaenyra to have gone to sleep with Mysaria of all people.

The prince greeted me politely, but as he read I saw the joy go from his eyes, and a sadness descended upon him, like a weight too heavy to be borne. When the girl asked what was in the letter, he said, ‘A queen’s words, a whore’s work.’

(Fire and Blood; “Rhaenyra Triumphant”)

And if you go back to my list of why people cheat, there is a lot to reason why Daemon would cheat (or if it was a sort of sexually open relationship, find someone else). But then we'd have to consider the circumstances.

(At King's Landing) Thoughts While Reading the Book

On the one hand, I totally saw these two having tension and Rhaenyra allowing him to seek company in Mysaria, but I can also see Daemon waiting for Rhaenyra to “come back” to him.

I continue to think that Rhaenyra choosing to not go with his idea of marrying the Rosby and Stokeworth girls to the Ulfs shows the degeneration of her trust in him and their relationship, her leaning towards the conventional solutions because they are easier. And this notion was there when I was considering whether he slept with Mysaria.

Sleeping with Mysaria would endanger Rhaenyra’s trust in him in his mind no matter Rhaenyra’s allowance because Mysaria, who’s working as their Mistress of Whispers unofficially, would be everywhere and a constant reminder of Rhaenyra’s most unstable and vulnerable moments. I also thought that maybe Rhaenyra knew this and was thus nonchalant (seeming) when she hears from others about him and Mysaria sleeping together. But then that would go against her paranoid state?

But Daemon could also just want to have sex and finds de-stressing comfort in it, thus look to Mysaria. (No chance at all for romance or substantial emotional intimacy like the maybe of before). And he supposedly spends a lot of time with her, seeing as people talked about it enough to bring it up to Rhaenyra. But that's because Mysaria had been working for them and she still does. Of course, Daemon would be around her.

At the same time, what if there had only been a few sus events where the two did things non-sexually and were seen, and these moments were brought up to throw Rhaenyra off? She wasn’t well liked by even some around her. I need to think more about how likely this is.

He so easily puts Mysaria down with the words “a whore’s work”, immediately sweeping all she may have doesn’t for them both as their Mistress when he learns that she convinces Rhaenyra to go after Nettles, hurting two people that he considered close.

How happy he seemed from receiving the letter from Rhaenyra just before he actually reads it.

Caraxes’ cry and the shattered windows revealing his inner turmoil and defeat in Rhaenyra’s loss.

The fact that he spends 14 days alone at Harrenhal to wait for Aemond, cutting into the tree as if he’s lost and aimless. (Neither Nettles nor Mysaria could inspire such emotion.) The metaphor of the bleeding tree.

When the last of them was gone, Daemon Targaryen walked the cavernous halls of Harren’s seat alone, with no companion but his dragon. Each night at dusk he slashed the heart tree in the godswood to mark the passing of another day. Thirteen marks can be seen upon that weirwood still; old wounds, deep and dark, yet the lords who have ruled Harrenhal since Daemon’s day say they bleed afresh every spring.

(Fire and Blood; “Rhaenyra Triumphant”)

All this ultimately makes me think that he never really trusted or cared for Mysaria after he sent her away back to Lys after she miscarried. At least he didn’t see her as “family” or “close one” anymore. Therefore he wouldn’t bother being sexually close to her.

And then there's Rhaenyra supposedly allowing him to plow Mysaria, and I could see her either meaning because she simply is in grief and still recovering from Visenya's birth, or she said that to get people off her back. But when we see her reaction to Nettles, it seems like she didn't want Daemon to sleep with anyone in any circumstance and no matter if she said or didn't say those words.

I also judged how this turmoil could also have come from guilt for being any kind of vulnerable to Mysaria, endangering Rhaenyra. Since I know he loved her.

Honestly anon, I am not 100% sure. I think he didn't sleep with Mysaria because of the disadvantages of it, but again if GRRM comes out and says that he did do some things with Mysaria, even if they aren’t penetrative or frequent--it wouldn’t shock me either. He and Rhaenyra were in high-stress situations.

And I have no experience in this. Too much of a loser.

#ask #rhaenyra targaryen #rhaenyra and daemon #rhaenyra and mysaria #fire and blood comment #fire and blood ask #Fire and Blood #fire and blood characters #asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #asoiaf asks to me #mysaria and daemon

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violetueur-archive · 2 years

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GRAVE SUGGESTIONS ASK MEME » ACCEPTING

@fallesto asked: ‘ for once in my life i want to be surrounded by people that i don’t feel like i need to impress. ’

❝ Mm... I know... ❞ The peaceful look upon her face shifted, soft features hardening into melancholic empathy. They had taken a walk through the garden as per her request, huddled close to fend off against the bite of the chill, autumn air. Before long she’d found a particularly cozy looking spot and insisted they sit down to rest, after which she revealed her true intentions for coming out here despite the cold, when her hands had gently pulled him closer and maneuvered his head to rest upon her lap. It was clear that Reinhard had been under an unfathomable amount of stress, as he had been for practically his entire life, and though she was sure he was normally quite good at ignoring it, he had grown too comfortable in her presence to hide it. His smile could not fool her, but at this point she wondered if he even really wanted to. Deep down, he must’ve always longed for someone to see the truth and welcome it. To accept all his fears and selfish desires, and love him anyway.

In a way, Nicolette understood the sentiment, too. Felt it echo in her very marrow, an unspoken wish she’d carried since adolescence, when her path had been violently chosen for her. To be normal, free to live without the constant feeling of burning gazes upon her back. Their circumstances and burdens were not the same, but she was intimately familiar with that endless rift that expectation placed between oneself and others. Eyes implored as much as they judged while mouths pleaded to be saved. All it did was widen that endless chasm that separated the self from their duty. Possessing the strength to protect people was a blessing. To save lives was a great honor. But it was also a curse. It was exhausting.

Being a hero was not something to romanticize, as others seemed to think it was. Though she had never once considered herself as such, every demon killed only solidified the false image people had created of her in their mind, when she rescued them. Every bit of praise and gratitude became another crushing burden that grew heavier with time. She did not regret it, nor did hate their weaknesses, but in a way... she resented them. She was not a hero. She was just a woman. One who had been broken down but remained too stubborn to die. She was a victim, too. The only difference between her and the people she fought for, was that no one had shown up to save her. She’d been forced to save herself, and it had nearly destroyed her completely to do it.

❝ You must be so tired, my love... you’ve worked so hard. ❞ Her voice was soft and heavy with emotion, words sincere in their sympathy. Pale fingers gently soothed through crimson hair, nails lightly dragging over his scalp as she gazed down at him with great adoration. They wore the weight of their expectations differently— Reinhard’s in the extensive legacy of his family name as well as the despicable laws that seemed to begrudge his very existence, and her in the copious scars that forever marred her body, acting as visual proof for years of abuse and heroic deeds— but they bore it, all the same. Two people that suffered because of strength, once innocent children that had been handed a sword and told how to live. Irrevocably hurt by the people they should’ve trusted most. It was but another thread that connected them so profoundly. Tethered by shared trauma, and anchored through love.

❝ Maybe we should run away to someplace where no one knows us? ❞ The smile she gave him was soft, the suggestion light— said half in comfort, half in jest. Reinhard was unlikely to abandon his duty no matter how much it hurt him unless she commanded it. This, she knew, and there was no world in which Nicolette could ever make such a cruel demand of him. ❝ No matter what, I am here with you... ❞ The promise was whispered as a single digit fondly traced the shell of his ear, tucking some hair behind it. ❝ There is nothing that could tear me away from you, Reinhard. ❞

#fallesto #i'm weirdly really proud of how this turned out #and i just really really missed writing them #i've been so sad lately i needed to write something like this #↳ SHIP ; REINHARD VAN ASTREA || fallesto ❛ i would sacrifice it all to guide you / never have to battle alone ❜#↳ ASKS ❛ since you’re lookin i’ll put on a fuckin show ❜#↳ PRIVATE AU ; ISEKAI || ❛ fragments of a past that it wont let me forget / a blurry silhouettе ❜ ( fallesto )

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ghcstlyhearts · 9 months

Text

CHARACTER BASICS

Full Name: Adriana Sanguis

Nickname: Addie / Adri / Ana ( by her siblings only )

Age: 41 ( 956 )

Gender: Cis Woman

Pronouns: She & Her

Ethnicity: White

Nationality: Italian

Education: Extensive, she believes knowledge is power, and has studied a vast array of topics, especially due to her age.

Occupation: Boutique Owner

Hometown: Sicily, Italy

Current location: Sanguis Point

Species: Vampire

Written Aesthetics: a lingering whiff of expensive perfume, hiding your manipulations behind saccharine smiles & idyllic dreams crushed like rose petals.

trigger warnings: death, murder

CHARACTER APPEARANCE

Face Claim: Stefania Spampatino

Height: 5ft8

Hair Colour: Brunette

Eye Colour: Brown

Dominant Hand: Ambidextrous

Distinguishing Features: Painted lips & nails, an angelic smile that doesn’t quiet reach her eyes, ornate earrings dangling from her lobes, a lapis necklace hanging from her neck.

SUPERNATURAL EXTRAS

Abilities: immortality, superhuman strength, speed, senses & agility, stamina, fangs, flight, dream invasion & compulsion.

Have you always been aware of your abilities?: ”Of course not. I wasn’t born a vampire.”

Favorite Magical Items: Her lapis necklace, of course, which allows her the freedom to walk in the sunlight.

What supernatural creature is your character most scared of?: For now, she isn’t. She believes most other species are fragile enough to be overpowered, or brought, if necessary.

Who or what would they die for? Her family, but that’s all.

Does your character fight or flee? She’s the type to pretend to flee, and attack later when least expected.

PERSONALITY

Positive Traits: Intuitive, Creative & Generous.

Negative Traits: Cunning, Manipulative & Fickle.

Neutral Traits: Extravagant & Amoral.

Goals/desires: Deep down, all Addie wants is to be as happy as she once was with her family - but she knows that can’t ever happen. Mostly, her desire is to just be rich and live her life as she pleases.

Fears: Someone taking her siblings away from her, falling in love again.

Hobbies: Fashion Design, Sewing, Stargazing.

Habits: Studying her nails when she’s bored, slipping into Italian when she’s angry, studying people.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT Q’S

QUESTION ONE: were you born on the island, if so, what kind of curiosities do you have about the world beyond? if you weren’t, what do you miss about the world outside veritas isles? "Mostly I miss the ability to feed as I wish, without these pesky rules in place. Thankfully, I’ve worked out certain arrangements to keep myself in supply of blood fresh from the vein."

QUESTION TWO: what is your favorite part about the island? "No hunters. As easy as they are to kill, it gets rather messy and I’d rather not deal with the annoyance.”

QUESTION THREE: if your character is supernatural, do they fear humans? if human, do they fear the supernatural? "Not anymore. Human’s are easy to dispose of. Especially at my age.”

QUESTION FOUR: share a fun headcanon or fact about your character! this doesn’t have to be long, just something to introduce us to your character! Addie much prefers drinking her blood straight from the vein, but with the rules in place, she usually pays certain individuals and showers them with gifts in return for drinking from them. She pays them enough that if she calls, they come. She’s even let one or two use her apartment, as it allows her constant access to them.

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

BIO | PLAYLIST | PINTEREST

WANTED CONNECTIONS

Lovers - both past and present. She’s had a few significant relationships, but most of them have ended terribly enough she no longer labels them. She has lovers, whom are mostly casual, that she’ll sleep with, shower with gifts & take out to dinner, but mostly keeps their interactions at a surface level. If she thinks they’re getting too close, they’re gone.

Exes - One or two exes from her past, that definitely ended awfully. They’d have to be immortal and fairly old.

People who dislike her - I’d love for decedents of a family line who despise her bc she like killed their ancestors before the island existed or something.

Confidante - Perhaps her oldest and dearest friend. The one she loves most outside of her family.

Vampires she has sired, whether they feel indebted to her or despise her.

#task; adriana sanguis.#about; adriana sanguis.#vih.task01 #vih.intro #psd credit: notoriousaesthetics.

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phantasmagoriaoriginals · 2 years

Note

is there a summary of the characters from lux republic anywhere ? ^v^ i like reading ur stuff

Not yet, but I'll make one right now! XD

. . .

Category: Human Actions

1. Wisdom and Knowledge

Deity — Arrow

communication, thought, information, interests, academics

The so-called "leader" of the deities. His domain is debatably the most impactful on humankind, and as such, he wound up being the most powerful of their group. Smug, egotistic, and never hesitating to rub his superiority in everyone else's faces, all of the knowledge available to humans is at his disposal. Unfortunately, that's also his greatest curse. There are things Arrow wishes he didn't have to know, and of course, with great power comes the eternal fear of failure...

2. Literature and Art

Deity — Cadence

creativity, pleasure, self-expression, drama, romance

While all Deities have an inherent adoration for the humans they owe their existence to, Cadence is the most open about it. Her domain is all but universally adored, and because of that, she's both confident in her connection to humankind and desperate to reach out even more. She paints herself as harmless, appearing palatable and pleasant even to her fellow Deities. Representing self-expression, though, she's not quite as innocent as she likes to act.

3. Warfare and Strategy

Deity — Legend

reputation, ambition, talents, goals, fame

While his appearance is intimidating and his domain encompasses some of the worst parts of human nature, Legend isn't the tyrant many would expect him to be. He's a serious sort, eternally weighed down by guilt, and handling his duty in life to the best of his ability. He represents human ambition— but most of all, the cost that it takes to reach one's goals. There's no way to live without suffering, be it your own or that of others, and he accepts that fact.

4. Desire and Sexuality

Deity — Revel

identity, beginnings, attitude, first impressions, control

Between an ability to connect with humans in their dreams and a natural sort of seduction that brings out people's darkest desires, Revel is used to being a chew toy for human lust. At the same time he treasures this one form of closeness, the constant, inescapable abuse of his own making has left him jaded. Fearing pain and addicting himself to the intimacy of being hurt, he believes that the core of humanity is violence. It's all he's ever known.

Category: Innate Concepts

1. Promises and Rituals

Deity — Caliber

finances, possessions, habits, priorities, values

A pragmatic, cold-hearted Deity who favors personal gain and always coming out ahead. Her dedication to rules and contracts is brutal, though, and anyone who breaks a promise will face her wrath. She dislikes lies and those who take commitments lightly, with routines and patterns governing her behavior more than passions. While riches are part of her domain, she's more concerned with managing assets properly than accumulating large amounts of wealth.

2. Balance and Revenge

Deity — Kindred

subconscious, secrets, enemies, seclusion, endings

Despite most people perceiving her as a violent Deity of vengeance and punishment, the truth is that Kindred values fairness above all else. She wants those who do wrong to face the proper consequences, never more or less than they deserve. Few people look upon her fondly— humans fear her and the other Deities find her too strict—, and she accepts that. Being by herself seems more fitting than trying to be loved, and being something she's not.

3. Trickery and Relationships

Deity — Fable

emotions, family, illusions, debts, stories

Outwardly, Fable appears to be a sly, scheming bastard who no one expects to care about anything or anyone but himself. However, the reality is that he's an emotional, sensitive person who cares so much more than he wants to show. His domain involves the complexity and inherent manipulation found in human relationships. Twisting his words and toying with others comes naturally to him, but it's not as malicious as people think. He feels undeserving of a real bond.

4. Dreams and Fortune

Deity — Saga

connections, aspirations, saviors, the future, miracles

Brilliant, sparkling, and alight with charisma, Saga represents the glowing, golden future that everyone dreams of. Her youthful appearance and permanent smile draw people to her side, but just as luck itself is hollow and fickle, her eyes are empty when you look too closely. Nihilism and apathy dominate her true self, with her careless happiness concealing an utter lack of concern for anything. Blessings are easy to come by, but does anything good ever last?

Category: Natural Forces

1. Evolution and Innocence

Deity — Verity

adventure, philosophy, discipline, law, truth

Among the Deities themselves, Verity is often considered the most dangerous and unpredictable. Her idealistic nature and passion for the "good" in the world initially seem admirable, but the reality is that she's a reckless, violent person who's more concerned with her views of right and wrong than any real justice. Her nature stems from the ignorant, self-righteous parts of humanity that would rather force their will on others than seek acceptance or fairness.

2. Winter and Death

Deity — North

death, solitude, transformation, inheritance, fate

The silent shadow of the Deities, North is quiet, passive, and mostly uninvolved with everyone else's chaos. They like steady, simple things, finding comfort in the inevitable facts of life more so than hopeful longing or baseless optimism. Despite their aloof exterior and neutral persona, they're surprisingly gentle. Being alone suits them, as others are often overwhelming to be around. They have no strong feelings about their own existence or place in the world.

3. Weather and Calamity

Deity — Zephyr

instincts, destruction, strength, confusion, purity

Brash, ferocious, and ruled by emotion, Zephyr represents the nature of humanity that feels. He's an odd mix of carelessness and intense passions, either investing himself deeply in whatever he does or not bothering to stop and think. His purity exists in the sense that he's oblivious to some of the worst parts of the world— so caught up in having fun that bad things bounce right off his thick skull. Violence comes easily to him, but there's rarely cruel intent behind it.

4. Nightmares and Discord

Deity — Tenebris

sleep, perception, instability, fear, punishment

Tenebris is an unpleasant being through and through. He's a sadist who feeds off the unhappiness and pain of others, but turns into an utter coward when it's his own neck on the line. His mental state is fragile at best, with his thinking scattered and his desires twisted up into knots. Aware of everything around him to the point of paranoia, he can only see the worst in everyone around him. And yet, beneath it all, he longs to be close to humanity just like all of them do.

#Lux Replica #Arrow #Cadence #Legend #Revel #Caliber #Kindred #Fable #Saga #Verity #North #Zephyr #Tenebris #Character Intros

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rcksmith · 3 years

Text

Felling — Five Hargreeves

Request: “Hi love could you maybe do #38 from the fluff prompts for Five where maybe Five is struggling with accepting the reader trying to be like romantic or affectionate with him !!! Thank you I love you !!!!”

Fluff Prompts:

38. “You say you hate it but your red face is telling me otherwise.”

A/N: We not tolerate any pedophilia here!!

I write about Five with their 20s. I write the same about the characters of Harry Potter.

I loved this request so much! I found it so cute and adorable!! ❤️ I hope it got close to what you wanted. I love you❤️

Here I used some fragments of Five's original chronology because it would help with the plot, but guys, keep in mind, please, that he is a 20 or more.

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are open. Love you ❤️

Couple: Five Hargreeves/Fem! Reader.

Warnings: Just bad words, it is very fluff.

— — — — — —

The Hargreeves were a family full of wounds, trauma and deep-seated fears. They were trained to be super heroes. Strong, courageous, centered, perfect. And that was why no emotion could be on the way to that goal. Feeling love, passion, affection and affection was the gateway to becoming vulnerable. And a superhero couldn't be vulnerable. So they were denied that their whole lives.

Within each one pulsed a different problem, a different trauma. Denying love to a child only made him develop complications to connect with his emotions, feel empathy and be able to deal with different contrasts in a healthy way.

The Hargreeves brothers' lives were not easy, but some of them found, in the beginning, a way to connect with different types of love; Luther and Alissom for each other, Diego for the maternal love, Klaus and Ben in the partnership and complicity for each other. Vayna found her way in love for her brothers when her biggest internal problems were resolved.

But Five... well, Five was alone in the abyss of the apocalypse.

He did not have a chance to mature his feelings, deal with his psychological and transform the various traumas into something productive and healthy. Then, in the midst of loneliness, devastation and chaos, Five just threw his feelings under the rug until, like his childhood brothers, they stopped harassing him.

As they never had the opportunity to mature, those sensations remained on a primitive level. And his complications to bond with his emotions became even more broken when Five had to kill for the Commission.

Facing death and being the author of such devastation was not a mild endeavor. The smell of death was still in the air if Five stopped to concentrate on breathing, and the murder scenes were still fresh in his mind when he slept. But, just as Five did with any feeling, he just pushed them under the rug once again.

He didn't want to deal with them. They brought, for Five, pains, fears, weaknesses and a constant reminder that, perhaps, he... had failed in many things. And Five hated seeing himself as a failure.

And that was when he came home. And even when the waters have calmed down, when the winter breeze gently touched his face, when he can rest, dealing with feelings was something he still repudiated.

But that's when Five met you, and his whole world was turned upside down. When you first looked into his eyes, fierce, warm heat swept through Five's body, from the top of his head to his toes. The heat immediately gave way to a cold sweat.

Five thought it was just a second of madness, in which his system had given a blue screen for something else, not for you. But as soon as you smiled at him, there was a quick feeling of being stabbed near the diaphragm or in the belly. His composure didn't waver an inch, but he felt like he couldn't breathe.

The situation took on unimaginable proportions. You are going the Hargreeves mansion a lot times , since, what has been said, you were friends with the brothers, and Five lived lost in an agitated sea of exasperating feelings whenever he was near you.

You were brilliant as the sun, smiling as happiness, beautiful as masterpieces and stunning as the evening. You were the personification of…Perfection, was the Five thought at the time. And it almost broke his heart, because he could never have you for himself.

Five couldn't because, as much as he refused to admit it, wouldn't know how. He couldn't because the whirlwind of emotions was a fierce scream that caused a stir in his mind. Five looked at you and saw a masterpiece - sublime and human art at the same time - and he didn't know how to name those emotions. And now, unexpectedly trapped by the intensity, Five was unable to reason properly when he was close to you.

All he could see was an excessively beautiful girl who was standing in front of him as something he wanted very much. And if you understood the state Five was in whenever you talked to him, you would have stopped at the first sentence. No, if you really understood, you would end up running as fast as you could. But you could not understand what Five did not understand.

So he preferred the loneliness of the apocalypse to those emotions that made him feel hot and cold at the same time, which seemed like his stomach was filling with birds, all beating their wings and trying to escape, and then his hands started to shake.

Five didn't know what it was all about, a mixture of emotions; attraction, passion, an overwhelming desire to touch you. But even if he knew how to name it all, he wouldn't know how to act. Five was a genius, he could solve the biggest equations about space and time with his eyes closed, but as a lover, however, he put his feet in his hands.

Five never thought of the most tender emotions without coldness and objectivity, they were great to justify the actions of human beings. But you have revoked absolutely everything.

Over time, it started to hurt physically in Five not to touch you, not to succumb to the most overwhelming wills. And then, one night he took refuge in a bottle of vodka, you walked in the door and it was the end for Five. He got up from the bar, came to you in determined and firm steps, and, sending everything to hell, held your face in his hands and kissed you as if he wanted to do this for a lifetime. Maybe more.

You were the opposite of Five. It was as if you were the heat and he was the ice, day and night. You burned like summer heat and Five burned like winter cold. You were everything Five was not: extroverted, agitated, knew how to deal with emotions very well, you were passionate, caring, loving, you loved physical contact. So when you returned the kiss, Five felt himself burning with your warm touch.

You wrapped your fingers around the black strands on the back of his neck, letting him put your bodies together and the kiss started to heat up. And then you said:

“You're beautiful.”

And that's where Five fell in love with you. He fell in love because when you took a breath and looked into his eyes when you said that, he felt like you could see the depths of his soul, all the secrets, all the sins, all the fears. You knew him, deeply.

Five was no longer able to stay away from you after this event. He always chose your side at a table, he was very less acid in conversation whit you were. And when you two played chess, and he let you win on purpose just to see your happy smile and your eyes shining, he knew was in trouble.

While Five tried to deal with so many new emotions and so many traumas, you were the opposite. You have been in love with him for so long, even when you saw his painting on top of the fireplace, you felt something different. So when you two kissed, came closer, you let your feelings out.

You were a loving person by nature, you loved hugging people, physical contact. You were an incorrigible romantic and, to be honest, you loved being like that. You loved feeling too much.

So with Five it was no different. You liked holding hands, hugs, more tender kisses and also quick hello kisses or bye. You loved touching physically, either way. But being like that taught you that many people didn't taste the same as you. And in the case of the Hargreeves, so broken and lost, dealing with feelings was not easy, especially to express it physically.

But with Five it was… more difficult.

He was very reserved, controlled, closed. You felt perfectly when he went rigid whenever you touched him: any affection on the arm, kiss on the cheek when you had to go to college, hugs.

You started to think that maybe he didn't like you that much or didn't want something serious, but Five was always looking for you. Whether showing up at your apartment, in your room, or going to be near you at the mansion or kissing you. So you ended up realizing that he just didn't handle feelings well.

It was very cold that night, you were in your room with the books and college notebooks on the bed, trying to solve some calculus equations, otherwise you would end up repeating in that subject. Your head was already pounding and you were getting frustrated, it was definitely not for you and your desire was to hit your head on the book and give up.

“What a nightmare.” You mumbled.

“What a nightmare?”

The voice at your side made you scream out in fright, turning to the left and seeing Five standing on the edge of your bed. The distilled moonlight came in through your open window and bathed the man in front of him with a builder in his black hair and alabaster skin, you held your breath, Five was always so beautiful that he should be considered a crime.

His hands were in the pockets of his dark pants, followed by the shirt and blazer from the Academy uniform. Five looked at you with a small condescending smile in the corner of your mouth, and you felt your heart pounding.

“Ah, it's just a college subject.” You sighed, looking at the notebooks in front of you “It's a nightmare.”

Then Five leaned forward, looking closely at your notes.

“You know where you went wrong, don't you?”

You jaw dropped, and you turned to the notebooks with your calculations. That was the only exercise that you thought was correct.

You felt frustration rising from your feet to your head, snaking through your body. You snorted, running your hand through your hair, it had been hours since you tried to understand that misfortune.

“I will never graduate, that's it. I accept the defeat of the God of mathematics.” You grunted, leaving the pencil on top of the books, giving up.

Five laughed softly, sitting beside your bed, still far enough away not to touch you.

“Give me the pencil.” He pointed to the object and you handed it over.

You frowned when Five pulled your notes to him, balanced the pencil in your other hand and redo your calculations at the end of the sheet.

You should have paid attention to what Five was doing, at each step, but the truth was that you got lost looking at him. The winter breeze shook his black strands as if they were a cloth from the night sky, his emerald green eyes were focused, and a slight crease on his forehead indicated that he was concentrating.

Your heart raced, the world seemed to stop breathing and the air took on a caustic and magical intonation. You would show all your shadows if Five showed his, you would do anything to show how sublime he was.

Then Five looked up at you, and the hemisphere seemed to make sense that second. So you leaned over and kissed him. You kissed because there was no cell in you that didn't want to kiss him. Because Five was a young god and you were just a mortal surrendered to his charms.

But you felt his muscles go rigid, the spontaneous physical contact catching him off guard.

Five burned in contradictions. It burned in the hot fire of passion and burned in the icy heat of feelings. Your touch was potent and had an overwhelming effect on Five.

He wondered what would happen if he had sex with you at that moment. Would he burn in your heat or would he be consumed by troubled emotions? Would he feel every part of your body pulse or would he lose himself in the confusion of his own mind?

Five gently parted his lips, still close enough for his breath to hit your lips.

“I feel your tension. Everything is fine.” You commented quietly.

Five just breathed, his eyes confirming to you what his words didn't say.

“I'm sorry for everything you've been through.” You were sincere, and cautiously put your hand under his. “But you have to understand that it’s normal and good to feel emotions. It's okay not to understand them. Feelings are not like math.”

Five felt your touch become more present, and you gently approach. He should have said something, but his body started to contradict his mind and he got lost in a blue shambles. He desperately wanted you. Wanted to fuck you until feel you completely and kiss you until taste love. But he also wanted to get away. He wanted to go away and push all those feelings and emotions under the rug.

But when you sat closer to him, and your hands cupped his face, Five realized he couldn't leave.

“How would you react if I did that..”

Then he noticed your mischievous smile, and before he could say anything, you held him more firmly, and filled any part of his face with kisses that you could reach.

You laughed between Five's kisses and protests. But you only stopped after the twentieth kiss. Five was marked with your lipstick, his eyes closed for you, his face in a warning expression.

“Y/N!” He grunted, wiping his face “Are you crazy?”

But his cheeks were red and you could feel his temperature high from where you were.

You laughed louder, settling on the bed.

“.You say you hate it but your red face is telling me otherwise.” You pointed at his cheeks, waved your index finger between them, signaling.

Five frowned even more, trying to wipe the lipstick marks off his face. But slowly, a little smile was struggling to come to his face.

“You are smiling!”

“You are so childish!” he rolled his eyes, but his voice was soft.

“You love Me!” Then you threw yourself at him again, kissing his face where the marks had been cleaned.

Five grunted, but ended up just resting his hands on your waist, feeling ... relaxing.

When you stopped laughing and looked at him, Five held his gaze. Gently, his right hand went to your face, removing a lock of your hair from your eyes.

“I think you're right.”

His voice was low, like a summer breeze, and yours eyes lit up when you understood the meaning of what he was talking about. But Five didn't give you time to answer, he leaned over and captured your lips in a passionate kiss.

You love him too.

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xhanisai · 3 years

Text

AU where the current holders of the miraculous have dreams about the previous holders

- They only dream about the holders before them- not the holders before the previous ones (for example, say Laila is the current holder of the butterfly and the holder before her was Maya. The holder before Maya was Ali. Laila will only dream about Maya whilst Maya have dreamt about Ali).

- The dreams are in the POV of the previous holders; you would only see things that are happening through their eyes and have no control over their bodies. You will also feel the same things the holders are feeling. The dreams are only possible if the predecessor before the current holder has passed away.

- The last holders of the Ladybug and Black Cat miraculouses were Bridgette Zhōu and Felix Gray (The PV predecessors of Marinette and Adrien). They were born in England and fought and died during the end of the second world war in 1945.

- Bridgette went by as Ladybird whilst Felix went by as Black Cat. They were sixteen when they received their miraculouses by Maître Fu.

- So Marinette, ever since gaining the earrings, would dream about Bridgette and the events that unfolded during her time. Adrien would dream about Felix on the other hand.

- At first, both were confused and horrified by this, especially after having to witness the brutal battles and war in first person and not having the power to help the way they want. They wouldn’t dare to mention this to each other in the beginning, unsure on how to approach the subject and completely traumatised too.

- They are quick to mature, especially in their civilian lives. Alya has noted that Marinette often wears a distant, sad look on her face, as if she’s weighed down by the burdens of the world.

- Nino was also quick to realise the tired yet determined gaze that Adrien wore, as if he was burning with the desire to protect everything he treasures as well as grieving for the things he’s lost. Though, the boy is an excellent actor and it’s really hard to see him unless you’re Nino.

- Since Marinette is far too distracted with coming up with plans and connecting dots to find out who le Papillon was, she’s not able to see how deep the changes were within Adrien, mainly focused on protecting her loved ones, especially her Chat Noir.

- Adrien on the other hand keeps a constant close observation on Marinette. She’s one of the few people out there that he really likes and cherishes so seeing her becoming more distant and tired and sad also upsets him.

- He starts to suspect about Ladybug’s civilian identity, especially after Plagg noting that he’s fallen for Marinette and LB for the umpteenth time.

- Marinette is also in love with both Adrien and Chat Noir (though she doesn’t like to admit the latter). She doesn’t make any attempts on romancing because she fears that it would be taken advantage of by le Papillon one way or another.

- Chat Noir is only a little flirty with Ladybug, also held back from the past holders and the current villain from fully attempting to romance her. Adrien is still soft and sweet with Marinette, always making sure she’s relaxed in his presence (Though, strangers can see that the feelings between ladynoir and adrinette are mutual).

- Both Adrien and Marinette love to spoil their kwamis with all the sweets and cheese the little Gods desire. The duo couldn’t fathom the guilt and trauma from their predecessors so how were Tikki and Plagg dealing with all the lives of their past holders?

- The bond between Tikki and Marinette and the bond between Plagg and Adrien is super, super strong.

- What finally causes Ladybug and Chat Noir to snap and communicate with each other regarding the dreams is when they finally dreamt about Bridgette’s and Felix’s last moments. These moments were the most haunting and painful out of them all.

Bridgette laid in a distraught Felix’s arms, a fatal wound in her chest, an ugly crimson growing on her clothes, yet a soft, subtle smile rested on her lips. With all her energy, she mustered up the strength to cup the sobbing boy’s cheek, as if Big Ben wasn’t being bombed to smithereens behind them and as if they weren’t surrounded by walls of deadly fire.

“Please...don’t close your eyes...don’t leave me...you’re going to be okay,” Felix choked, leaning into her touch which only grew terrifyingly colder and colder. He has to save her...he has to!

“D-Don’t cry, my sweet love,” Bridgette attempted to grin further and cooed at her lover, blind to Tikki’s vice grip on her blood stained school uniform and Plagg’s gape of horror. “I...I need you to run, Felix. Please-”

“What!? Don’t be ridiculous! I’m not leaving you! Not now, not ever!” He held her closer to him, tears cascading down his usually stoic face and mind scrambling for a plan. “I’ll save you, like always! And no one will dare to hurt you again-”

“Please...you’re already hurt. Please, live for me...”

“Bridgette...there’s no point in living if you’re not there with me, and that’s final!”

- Unfortunately, the duo met their demise from a direct bomb. Fu and Marianne had no choice but to take the miraculouses off their corpses as they were on the run, no time to mourn for the poor teens.

- Because of this dream, Chat has vowed to protect his Lady, no matter what, to ensure that she never has to go through the same pain as Bridgette (and also so he never has to mourn for another woman he’s loved with his everything).

- Ladybug has also vowed to ensure that they would never get into a situation like that, ever. The last thing she ever wants is for her partner to go through that pain.

- Sometimes, Marinette would find herself clutching her chest, as if she’s been shot, only to realise that they’re phantom pains from Bridgette’s fatal wounds and battle scars. Sometimes, the pain is enough to make her blackout.

- Similarly, this happens to Adrien too. Especially since Black Cat often got hurt during the war when fighting against the opposition.

- Both Marinette and Adrien have seen this happen to each other, not only as civilians but as their hero identities as well. They’re both 100% certain of their suspicions regarding the identities but are yet to address it.

- They get into arguments when Chat keeps on sacrificing himself. Both of them wanting to protect each other so badly, it hurts. The horrors of their predecessors’ lives and failures branded into their souls.

“You are the most important one out of us both! You can bring everything back to normal! Of course it makes sense for me to take that hit for you-”

“We are a team! I can’t do this without you and you know how much I hate seeing you die before my eyes over and over again!”

“But you bring me back every time-”

“That doesn’t stop it from hurting, you stupid cat! How would you feel if the person you love the most kept dying in front of you!?”

- After accidentally blurting out her confession, Ladybug attempts to run away, only for Chat Noir to hold her back by the hand. He then gently hugs her from behind, face hidden on the crook of her neck.

“I do know how it feels, Marinette. I do...” Chat held onto her tighter when she gasped, waiting until she relaxed before he carried on. “Every time I dream about that night, I feel Felix’s pain as his Lady died in his arms. I feel his guilt, his self-hatred, his grief, his heartbreak...everything.”

Lifting his head, Noir turned Ladybug around, his frown deepening from the tears that ran down her cheeks. He then brought his lips to one of her eyes, kissing away the tears with a softness that would rival even a mother’s touch to a new-born’s skin.

“I’m sorry I made you feel that way...I love you so much that I can’t bear to see you die, ever,”

- From then on, they come to a compromise that they’d work as hard as possible to keep either of them from dying for each other.

- It’s hard and difficult but now that they have each other in their civilian lives, as well as letting Alya, Nino and Marinette’s parents into the secrets, the burdens eased. Fu allowed them to do this, knowing that the burden is too much for a singular person to handle on their own. Together they all became one excellent support system.

- Thankfully, there are pleasant dreams from Felix’s and Bridgette’s lives as well. Such as: first time meeting, ballroom dancing, walking in the gardens, etc.

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blacksunscorpio · 3 years

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Hey, I'm so happy that I found your blog, your work and dedication are superb, you are such a special human being for helping some many people with their inquiries ❤ I don't know if you had already talked about this but I'd be curious to see your opinion on Pisces descendent

Ascendant/Descendant Axis

In the natal chart, there is an intersection of the Ascendant (Asc)- Descendant (Dsc). These are located in the 1st house and the 7th House. Also known as one of the two “angles” of the chart. They are both Cardinal by nature.

Your ascendant is the mask your wear to the world. Your “face”, essentially. It’s how you project yourself and even how you appear physically/your aesthetic. Like a mirror to the Ascendant, the Descendant reveals the qualities we would like to reflect and project into others. It describes how we feel attracted to other people as well as the traits we also have, but which need to be developed within the self or through relationships. The following can help illustrate the magnetic parallel between the two points and how they reflect yourself vs your relationships.

Aries Ascendant /Libra Descendant

In tight partnerships, one is preoccupied mostly with personal image and can often take the blame if a relationship does not work out. This native often asserts their independence. They prefer to get their own way, and if they don’t there can be displays of anger. Too much pressure for relationship outcomes to go their way can cause disharmony. They want their partner to consider their needs but often, the same is not reciprocated. If a relationship does not maintain their interest, they can move on to the next without a second thought. They need stimulation to keep their interest. This is because they seek excitement. Boredom feels physically painful. They tend to attract partners who let them make the decisions. This can be good because they like taking charge but bad because they don’t care for codependency. They often favor relationships where the partner has some level of independence. They admire strength and integrity. To maintain balanced relationships you must learn to be less self-centered, more sharing, and more considerate of your partner’s needs; then your relationships will be balanced and rewarding.

Libra Ascendant / Aries Descendant

You need to share your life with others in a peaceful and harmonious way but in marriage and other close relationships, you are being taught to stand up for yourself because you can feel dominated by the strength of your partner or other people’s characters. People with this placement often think “I want my needs met but I’m not sure how to do it without rocking the boat or stepping on toes.”

Fuck their toes. You need to learn to become independent and make your own decisions. The good news is, more often than not this will be exercised and learned by proxy via your partner and others. If the lesson to become independent is not learned, the fear of being dominated in close friendships, relationships, and marriage can become self-fulfilling prophecies. If relationships become unbalanced or a sense of diplomacy is not recognized, these natives often do everything in their power to restore said sense of equilibrium and harmony. Take care not to keep going back to unhealthy or toxic relationships because of your deep need to keep the peace. Setting a hard line is integral to keeping you safe from abusers/or relationships where you’re being run rough-shod on.

Taurus Ascendant / Scorpio Descendant

From a very early age, one with this placement might find that others aren’t as forthright as they should be with them. On one hand, their loved ones can show gestures that make these natives feel deeply appreciated but on the other hand, they can feel nebulous over other acts that challenge their sense of security and trust. Native’s are passionate and feel deeply especially once they do fall in love. Depth is something they easily comprehend however, jealousy and/or possessiveness can make them deeply insecure. You have a strong desire to develop your personal resources in order to contribute to close relationships, and you will work very hard to achieve security in any close partnership. They’ll do their best to be supportive of those they love but their sense of stability can be overtaken in the two-way pull of other people’s interests. Lovers who are co-dependent may try to tighten their hold on you when they sense any sign of retreat or independence. This can lead to unhealthy power struggles, manipulation, or a “push-pull” dynamic that can become very unhealthy and at its worst, dangerous. It's imperative to know that you can love and trust. Once this is accomplished, one with this placement can experience and enjoy deep, intense relationships that are at the same time, stable and lasting.

Scorpio Ascendant / Taurus Descendant

With this placement, natives play to your strengths to diminish weaknesses. They do their best to not use their powers for destructive ends. In relationships, they deeply care for others and will often try to provide for their lovers but this can lead to either their partners being co-dependent and too reliant or they can rely on other people which can deplete inner resources. You are likely incredibly influential among your peers- and it’s important that you pull away from the urges to use this for your own material gain exclusively. They are in a constant state of evolution and learning. They are never the same person over long periods of time which can cause lovers to not evolve with them. Trust issues live here. They often shield themselves from their emotions but they will care deeply for the emotions of others. They need to take care not to swing too far one way or the other because they can go to extremes. Shut people out and be unable to relate or overextending themselves. There’s a powerful presence than sort of emanates off of you but that can also cause you to draw in leeches who leave you feeling hurt. You can also have issues with jealousy and possessiveness when you do fall deeply. If you unite your resources equally with your partner and others, then you can have deeply rewarding relationships.

Cancer Ascendant /Capricorn Descendant

This placement requires emotional stability through harmonious family relationships. Quite protective of those you love but in your attempt to protect those you love- they can, by proxy, control you. The partners you attract can be very executive, business-minded, and ambitious. If the proper boundaries aren’t set, they can feel trapped in domestic day-to-day while your lover is out pursuing their own interests. If marriage occurs, they will do their best to nurture it to the best of their ability. They want success in love. They want security in love. There’s a strong need to keep the family close and thick as thieves. Sometimes this even involves sacrificing their own happiness. They may face issues of security and control in their immediate and extended familial ties, included but not limited to their partner’s family or closely associated family connections. It’s important to find balance. You can’t be everything to everyone all the time. If you nurture and care for your family and build your future security with your partner and family, then you will have enduring and long-lasting relationships.

Capricorn Ascendant / Cancer Descendant

Family values are paramount to those with this placement. They’ll base the way they approach said relationships on family conditioning. Look to their relationships with their family for a good look at how they’ll treat you. Your partner may find it difficult to get along with family members which can make things tense...even awkward. You might find yourself the one trying to keep the peace and understand everyone’s feelings. Law and order sort of come in here. At least in your approach to family and relationships. The influences of your partner’s early childhood can have an emotional effect on your relationship with him/her which can leave you trying to keep control in otherwise uncontrollable situations. Often this native will look to their partner to gain support in the familial sense. This works because they have a practical, logical approach to life. Their relationships will mimmick this. If you’re looking to soften your approach, your partner can help you with this as they will typically be the nurturing type. Conflicts in your relationship with your partner can arise when love and affection are denied through family conditioning. Break those chains/generational curses. It only takes one person to change lifetimes of habitual toxicity. The welfare of your relationships should not revolve around confining and limiting rules and regulations. Matters of emotional security and family control will have to be balanced. If you find the balance, love will endure through the difficult times in life. For better or worse, richer or for poorer.

Gemini Ascendant / Sagittarius Descendant

From an early age, Intellectual exchange is paramount. However, approaching the opposite sex might not have been an easy feat. You like to know the very fine detail of your interpersonal relationships. The inner workings and minutiae. Why? Because dialog is important to you. Both Gemini and Sag like to talk. Use their minds. The lower and the higher. This is displayed in relationships. Intellect and reason are utilized when one with this placement faces relationship problems, but with your own freedom in mind. You put a lot of thought into resolving relationship issues. Words are important to you and you operate on that frequency, so those who stimulate your mind are among your favorite to interact with. But your zealous approach to defending your points may come off as dogmatic. You tend to judge situations and give your opinion spontaneously which can lead to hastiness in others’ reactions towards you. Your nature is to sort out problems through gaining as much information as you can in order to reach intelligent conclusions. However, too much mental sparring can lead to hard feelings between you and your lover if things are left to go overboard. Here lives a sapiosexual. One who is turned on my knowledge and intelligence. A fair soul lives here. Or at least, one who strives to be. It’s imperative to look beyond your own opinions and give credit to others' opinions, then you will have balanced and rewarding relationships.

Sagittarius Ascendant / Gemini Descendant

Being confined is not your forte. In fact, you refuse to be. By anyone. The free spirit of Mercury and the expansion mindedness of Jupiter are living together here. This is the type of person that may often do the “Irish Exit” at a social event. Your partnerships often being mental. Through dialogue and interaction on a thoughtful level. However at times due to Jupiter’s penchant for excessiveness, your opinion can dominant conversations which can leave your partner feeling resentful. Your nature is fire. And just as your relationships are lively, dramatic, and exciting, the confrontations can be as well. Appreciations for others' opinions and ideas from an objective place can salvage relationships when fights and dogma ruffle feathers. Not everything is a personal attack. Take care not to jump to conclusions as this placement has a tendency to do so. Preachiness when not monitored can turn partners/friends off. Expect a “tell it like it is” approach here. Sometimes the native can be so strong-minded tact is often forgotten. Relationships are strongest when one remains free-spirited, optimistic, and understanding. When the mind is satiated and free thought is encouraged, your relationships will prosper.

Leo Ascendant / Aquarius Descendant

The kind of love this native thrives on is all-encompassing. They want to feel adored but affection can also take a more detached vibe. There’s a deep warmth to you and your love for people in general, the collective, and beyond is hard to miss. one with this placement may know many people. Get along with many and have a large social network. Your partner may be starkly different in that sense. They may have a completely different social circle. At times you may feel your light doesn’t shine. You can be the one to take initiative and set plans between you and those you love. You often have to operate on your partner’s wavelength to understand their thoughts or get yours across. Though it’s almost second nature for you to befriend people, only the meaningful and worthwhile connections are save for your partner to be witness to. Your partner is more detached than you so it can frustrate you when you've seen as the type to put on a show by them. They will opt to walk away and not engage in conflict to keep the peace. When you were young, you had a vision of all-consuming love, but you may feel life has dealt you a raw deal, often giving you the opposite of what you crave. However, if you find the balance in friendship and love, your partner can be your best friend and everything you could wish for.

Aquarius Ascendant / Leo Descendant

You look at life through a kaleidoscope lens. Nothing is black and white to you. You give free thought and entertain multiple perspectives and enjoy engaging with others who do the same. You like to look at everything from different angles. You need the freedom to pursue your own community interests and goals outside your relationships, but this can lead to difficulties within your relationships. Though you can understand and identify with emotion, you do not live in this space. Your emotions are detached and you see everything from an objective point of view. Your amiable manner attracts large groups of people but your partner may try to get you to be more emotional. This is something you’re not readily comfortable with. Be careful because they can take your desire for space as disinterest. They can mistake your free-loving nature for abandonment. Balance is needed in regard to your partner's interests and yours, otherwise, relationships may feel unlively and lackluster. You’ll be craving something else or more excitement. However, you’ll be very loyal as long as your partner respects the fact that emotional displays and dramatics will have the adverse effect they’re seeking. Keep it real. And don’t forget to sympathize.

Virgo Ascendant / Pisces Descendant

In love and partnerships, you may see the “idealized” version you've created for others rather than the reality of them. This includes but is not limited to, placing them on pedestals, or pinning fantasies on them that they may not live up to. This can cause you to feel disillusioned if balance isn’t met. Be compassionate with yourself just as you are compassionate and sensitive in your personal life. Health and/or work issues or issues having very much to do with the 6th house may present themselves in the love life. You have a natural penchant to set very high and at times impossible standards for yourself. You also love to set a pristine environment for your lover or those you love in general. You love to organize which your partner will appreciate. Partners may show your love by giving you creative gifts or even serenading you. You may even attract an occasional crooner/musician/artist. High expectations are natural for you to have in relationships- so much so that if the object of your affections doesn’t meet them, you can criticize them. However because you are service and work minded, you’ll often stay dedicated to your relationships. Your life is one of service. You may often have a savior complex or others may perceive you as someone who can “rescue” them. You attract the down-and-out types. An underdog. Take care not to allow yourself to be the martyr as you often put others’ needs ahead of your own. Do not allow this to go too far or else sentiments of resentment and being “taken advantage” of may rear their heads. If you stay organized and learn to be realistic in how you demonstrate and expect to receive love, setting firm boundaries while being compassionate as well, your relationships will thrive and stay on the healthy road.

Pisces Ascendant / Virgo Descendant

Your personality can be malleable due to your mutable nature. Sometimes you’ll chameleonize yourself to fit the mold your loved ones want you to fit. This placement can make one impressionable or there can be a mysterious vibe here. However, your interests at work can match those you fall for. Idealism is your strong suit. On the other hand, more often than not, your partner may be a realist and quite diligent at work. You are extremely empathetic, almost to a psychic degree. This is typically why people are drawn to you. You have an uncanny knack for making others feel like individuals. As if they are special. Take care not to try to be everything to everyone or you’ll end up raining your energy stores. Being an idealist, you prefer to avoid conflict as you are more passive by nature. Arguments and beef give you anxiety. Just remember that a practical approach is necessary otherwise you can find yourself jaded. Things can be confusing to you sometimes and you can have a hard time making sense of things because Neptune which dissolves is on your rising. Your out of the box and otherworldly thinking can break down the most regimented person and new solutions can bring harmony and love into your relationships. Natives with this placement need to take care not to allow others to define them. Be your own person. As a result, your relationships will bear healthy fruit.

Nadir/Midheaven Axis in Astrology

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lassieposting · 3 years

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Does Lucifer have ptsd? I remember that a cast member said that S5 Lucifer would have it but I haven’t seen it yet, unless they mean after God shows up. Which I think is possible considering Lucifer’s reactions towards his mother.

Okay so, I am not a psychologist and can only really speak to my own experience with certain aspects of PTSD, so I’m gonna use the symptom criteria given by the mental health charity Mind, which goes thusly:

Reliving aspects of what happened

This can include :

vivid flashbacks - we’ve seen Lucifer have one of these, when he Goddess reveals that Chloe is a miracle.

intrusive thoughts or images - his constant fear that his dad is controlling/targeting/manipulating him probably qualifies

intense distress at real or symbolic reminders of the trauma - Lucifer gets very upset and stressed about how humanity sees him and that his father essentially vilified him for eternity as well as throwing him into hell

Alertness and feeling on edge

This can include:

hypervigilance - there’s a screenshot of Linda’s file for Lucifer that mentions he feels “paralyzed” struggles to relax because he feels like he’s being watched constantly by God.

lack of sleep or disturbed sleep - the same screenshot mentions sleep issues and that he can, presumably, lay awake worrying “for hours before falling asleep” (apparently he’s also iron-deficient, which...probably ties in with the fact that hell doesn’t get a lot of sunlight)

being easily upset or angry - just look at how upset he gets whenever someone says “the devil made me do it”

avoiding feelings or memories

which includes:

avoiding anything that reminds you of the trauma - see: repeated, messy amateur-hour wing amputation because he can’t stand to be reminded of what he was/what he lost or to be linked to his father again

feeling emotionally numb or cut off from your feelings - the man hasn’t emotionally matured in billions of years

self-destructive or reckless tendencies - i mean. lucifer’s self-destructive spirals are legendary. like the time he tried to goad that rookie into shooting him, or the time he stood in front of a sniper and begged him to shoot and nobody ever mentioned it again

inability to express affection - he can’t tell chloe he loves her. if he says it out loud, it makes it real, and she becomes something his father can take away from him and know it will hurt him. as long as he doesn’t say it, he’s got some plausible deniability, he can pretend he doesn’t care. also, while he’s getting a lot better about it, early seasons lucifer clearly doesn’t understand nonsexual physical affection (i.e. being hugged) and his attempts to express affection to chloe are often mistimed, inappropriate or bizarre. this is a man who’s grown up in a completely loveless environment. he didn’t know how to love or be loved. humanity had to teach him.

alcohol and drug use - lmao. “Only if you call ingesting millions of dollars worth of cocaine a problem. I call it a Tuesday.”

difficult beliefs or feelings

which includes:

feeling like you can’t trust anyone - his reaction to chloe’s betrayal in 1x13, when she tries to arrest him. it’s been a while since I watched the ep, but he says something like “The one person I trusted - you - I thought you were different. I was wrong.”

feeling like nowhere is safe - again, that screenshot. he thinks he’s being watched All The Time. his own family has repeatedly tried to kill him. he’s never been allowed to feel safe on earth before because he was always trying to outrun amenadiel showing up to drag him back to hell. him choosing to stay and make los angeles his home - and then fighting for it when lux was at risk of being demolished - was a huge step for him.

feeling like nobody understands - he’s outright said this to chloe and linda a few times. “why bother [talking to chloe about his problems]? you won’t believe me anyway, you think everything i say is a metaphor.” and the “how can you possibly presume to know god’s intentions? stick within the limits of your own intellectual capacity” conversation

there’s also complex ptsd (c-ptsd), wherein sufferers experience ptsd symptoms as well as additional issues such as:

feeling permanently damaged or worthless - clearly. early seasons lucifer can’t conceive of a relationship that doesn’t revolve around a human wanting something from him; sex, or a favour, or a desire fulfilled. it doesn’t even occur to him that he’s loveable in his own right, the only value he assigns himself as a person comes from what he can do for or give to others. lucifer is very vain, but he also uses that vanity to hide his non-existent self-esteem.

feeling like nobody can understand what happened to you - i mean, he’s kind of justified here in that what happened to him was eons of torture and divine retribution, and nobody can understand because a) we don’t live that long and b) the majority of his human friends think he’s harmlessly insane, but he’s said as much to chloe and linda

avoiding friendships and relationships, or finding them difficult - until chloe, lucifer’s relationships with humanity had all been surface-level sexual liaisons with no attachment or commitment. “the best night of my life”, say all those people in their interviews with chloe, but none of them considered it to mean anything, even though it clearly meant something to lucifer. he pushes people away or flees when they get too close, because he’s terrified of emotional intimacy. he’s terrified that they’ll eventually realise that he’s evil and worthless and all the things humanity says he is, and that he doesn’t deserve their love. poor thing has been in therapy for years to try and navigate Baby’s First Friendship. lucifer is naturally sociable, but he’s so traumatized and messed up from the billions of years of solitary confinement that he’s terrified of connecting with people even as he’s desperate for it

suicidal feelings - we’ve had at least two onscreen suicide attempts, even though neither was ever really addressed by his loved ones. both times he tried to goad someone into shooting him, knowing that chloe was nearby and that he was vulnerable; he knew he would be killed if either gunman took the shot. he even tells amenadiel he was trying to achieve a “nice, messy” death.

in conclusion: yeah he’s traumatized as fuck, god barging into his life after several billion years of abuse and abandonment is probably gonna fuck him up hard, and someone should address his suicidal tendencies. like...@chloe wrap your devil in a blanket and cuddle him, maybe? he’s Sad? look after him?

#lucifer on netflix #lucifer on fox #netflix lucifer #lucifer morningstar #lucifer meta #tw suicide mention #tw self harm mention #tw abuse #obligatory disclaimer that i am not a shrink but? he sure fits the symptoms #Anon #fire message

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scullydubois · 3 years

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baby, in your kingdom (for valentine’s <3)

read on ao3 tagging: @today-in-fic @iusedtoknowwhatawishwasfor @scullllaaaaayyyy

Mulder proposes to Scully during the Requiem bed scene.

So you may have seen the text post I wrote imagining a version of Requiem where Mulder proposed and didn’t go off to Oregon at the end...I couldn’t stop thinking about that, so it turned into this. This is my favorite prose that I’ve written for a fic, and it might turn into a series someday because this concept is just so rich and worth diving into. Happy Valentine’s Day, and enjoy a treat on me to numb the pain hehe.

T, 1.7k, more angst than fluff (oops) but the tenderness is there too

----------------------------

He needs to tell her one thing and ask her another. Should be simple enough, except it never is when it comes to words passing between them. It's in both their natures to leave the sweetest sentiments unsaid lest they lose their luster when voice meets air. And what he has in mind is not exactly the easiest of utterances, neither the former nor the latter. One is the kind of admittance we fear when the phone rings unexpectedly, the other a declaration the unluckiest people go to their graves without getting. Delivering both at the same time is a sin if he’s ever committed one. And for once, he cares what count God has against him. What if he isn’t able to see her again, even in the afterlife?

He’s been weighing one decision for awhile, looking for the balance between his conviction and her virtue. He could have done it when she came back to him with her baby-faced blush, accepting the cross he clung to in lieu of her. Or when she showed him the x-rays, and they spelled out no hope. When he cried by her bedside and she didn’t stir--he could have done it then, she wouldn’t have known. But it means nothing unless it means everything to both of them, and she wouldn’t have--no, couldn’t have--given him the answer he wants back then. He holds this as the sacred truth that governed him then and will govern him now. He has no room for regrets.

The scuff of their shoes against the baseball diamond was the first time he realized that maybe, maybe this manic impulse of his had some basis in reality. Not a solid one, nothing they could cross a canyon with, but in time…

And then he was inside her brain, privy to her thoughts, and what was an unsound bridge had become a stairway to Heaven only they could climb. Fuck a safety net, he wouldn’t be needing that anymore.

Then he got the call from Billy Miles, and he thought of her ouroboros, and isn’t that what they’ve been doing this whole time? Circling some greater truth that they’ve always known?

Every circle ends where it begins and begins where it ended. This is what he’s thinking when he spots Billy’s badge, and they glide over the X he painted when they didn’t yet trust each other (but so badly wanted to), and when he lays eyes on Teresa Nemmans and she is not Nemmans but Hoese, and there is a child in her arms.

Seven years. And what do they have to show for it? What they mean to each other has changed, but it’s not like anyone can tell. He called Scully his partner then, and he calls her his partner now. Oh, the time they have wasted.

But it will be wasted no more. Seeing her with the Hoese baby, cooing a lullaby into its precious ear…seven years ago, he told her of the government’s conspiracy and how nothing else mattered to him. That is no longer the truth.

There is a truth they both know that is stronger than anything. When she appears at his door, flushed and shivering like a puppy left out in the cold, his head and his heart finally hit the same wavelength. He will shy away from fate no longer.

She doesn’t wait to be invited in, she knows his bed is hers for the taking. He lifts her shoes off her feet like he’s kneeling at an altar, wraps his arms around her as if it’s what he was put on this Earth to do. Contrary to popular belief, he has quite a reverence for domestic bliss. He’s been searching for it since his own reflection of it was shattered at twelve years old, and it has finally come to him.

He is scared to death that he’ll fuck it up, but not so scared that he’ll back away. In other words, his approach to everything in his life. It occurs to him then, with his lips on her temple, that he would set his own flame to the office and every X-File in it if she asked him to. If that’s what she wanted. He wouldn’t even have stepped foot back in that haunted place after its first burning if she’d given him an indication that it was not her desire.

“Scully,” he starts, nuzzling her neck, “I was thinking about when you asked me if I ever wanted to stop...if I ever wanted to get out of the car.”

“Uh-huh,” she breathes so faintly that he wouldn’t have known if he hadn’t felt it in her lungs.

“Well, I do want that. I’ve always wanted that. Remember when we were in Home and I said I’d like to settle someplace like that?”

Scully chuckles against him.

“Obviously not in Home, but you know, some place with the small-town sentiment without the, uh, familial connection.”

“Mm-hm,” Scully murmurs, sensing a larger point that he has strayed from.

“I just never knew how to get to it--I never thought that I could get to it, because I grew up thinking my parents had that, and then I saw they never did at all.”

Scully tucks his open palm under her chin, listening contentedly.

“So I spent my time chasing apparitions,” he continues, “things I couldn’t see, because I stopped believing in the things that I could. It’s like…the invisible things could surpass my expectations easily, but the visible ones could only disappoint.”

Scully feels cocooned, protected, and warm. She latches her attention to Mulder’s voice to keep from drifting off, kissing his knuckle to show that she’s listening.

“And I’ve realized, Scully,” he says, an edge in his voice, “that it’s a fucking waste of time to live like that. Like doing laps on a lazy susan and wondering why you’re never getting anywhere.”

“I know,” Scully says, her voice quiet but certain.

Mulder laughs lightly. “I know you do, that’s what you’ve been saying all this time...I just didn’t see it before.” He kisses her shoulder, lingering in the final moments before doing what cannot be undone. “And so I have something to ask you, but there’s something I have to tell you first.” Rawness permeates his voice.

At the sound of this, Scully cranes her neck, her gaze falling upon his face for the first time since they laid down. She can barely see his hazel irises through the reflecting pool in his eyes.

“What is it, Mulder?” she asks, concern pressing up against her urgent need to know.

He closes his eyes, the sight of her too much for him in this moment. What he wouldn’t give to feel like he could live with himself if he kept this a secret.

“I’ve seen a neurologist, I’ve had MRIs, it’s all conclusive. My brain is diseased from whatever Cigarette Smoking Man did to me. Fatal, my neurologist says.”

“Mulder…” Scully sits up, her whole being gravitating toward him. She runs her fingers along the space where she knows he bears his scar.

“Who told you this? And when? Have you had symptoms…?”

Clearly, she does not want to believe him, and he understands.

“I’ve been going back and forth to appointments for a few weeks. It was just confirmed the other day, I didn’t want to worry you until I knew more.”

“And your symptoms?”

He recognizes the darkness in her eyes and pucker in her forehead that forewarns tears. “Disorientation, dizziness, memory loss...sometimes I feel like I sleepwalked right through my day. “

‘Why didn’t you tell me?” her voice crackles.

He kisses her hand. “I thought you might go to some dark places if you tried to diagnose me.”

“Well, you’ve just turned the lights out on me with no warning!”

“Shit. I’m sorry, I’m sorry...I didn’t know how best to approach it, I just knew I wanted to cause you the least pain possible.”

“You wanted it to be nothing so you wouldn’t have to tell me,” she notes, not accusing, just speaking plainly.

“Well, yes. That would have been ideal.”

She swallows back tears, wrapping her arms around his neck with grave sincerity. “But now I’m here to fight right alongside you.”

This is what they do--have done, for years. Make his pain her pain and vice versa. Hurt hurts less when shared.

Mulder pulls away first, and it feels like peeling off a layer of his skin. Still, this is as necessary as anything he has ever known.

“That’s why I was wondering--and listening to it now, I realize this is probably the most selfish thing I’ve ever done, but I don’t know, I thought you might understand...will you marry me, Scully?”

Her breath catches and before she can think of anything else, she is careening toward his t-shirt to cover her tears. She clutches at the material, pulling it from his midsection to her face.

As far as Mulder’s concerned, there’s an elephant stuck in his throat. “I really don’t know what that means,” he stammers.

Scully lets him see her, tear-stained skin and all. “Yes, Mulder, my god yes! Do you honestly think I’d say no to you?”

“I would, especially in this situation.”

It’s a classic Mulder comment, but Scully’s not laughing. She pulls him in again, just wanting to feel his skin against hers. Their breaths slow in time with each other’s, their heartbeats matching pace. Scully’s lips brush his mole.

She speaks into his skin. “You saved me when it was impossible. I will do the same for you.”

Mulder thought he might hold it together until those words slipped from her lips. The elephant in his throat turns to stifled sobs.

With silent tears still streaking down her cheeks, Scully runs her thumbs along his lips. Just as she did when they thought his brain was getting better. The love in her eyes is equal to then too.

“My constant, my touchstone, remember?” she professes. “Then, now, and always.” She presses her lips to his forehead, and he thinks she must be healing him.

#yes it's valentine's but it's a pandemic valentine's #so have some angst with that fluff #the x-files #txf fic #txf fanfic #fox mulder #dana scully #mine #requiem

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buckyownsmylife · 4 years

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Albatross - Tom Hardy smut

The one where your bond is revealed when you become of age and present, but your mate is your father’s best friend.

Warnings: smut, p in v, oral sex (f) a/b/o dynamics, age difference, dirty talk, curse words

A/N: Here it is, folks! One of my favorite fics that I had planned for this kinktober. I love this concept so much that I think I might create a second version of it someday. For now, let me remind you that the prompts were a/b/o dynamics and age difference, but I made sure to keep the reader’s age open to interpretation so no one would feel uncomfortable. You can pretend that the presentation age in this universe is 18, 20, 21 or 25 - or whatever else! It’s really up to you.

Tom’s P.O.V.

I could feel that something was off from the second I woke up. Like the world that I’d woken up to wasn’t the same I’d left the night before. Like suddenly, everything had turned in their axis and I was left scrambling around to understand the change.

Still, I couldn’t pinpoint what it was. Call it a gut feeling. As a pack’s Alpha, I knew it was wise to trust mine. But without any clear evidence of something being out of place, all it left me with was this paranoid feeling of uncertainty.

That was, until news broke out of my Beta’s house, also known as my best friend.

“Y/N’s presenting,” he told me, a pained look on his face that I could perfectly understand. It shouldn’t be easy to lose an offspring, to see them grow up and become ready for the taking, but it was part of life, at least for us.

“What’s her status?” I asked, nodding patiently at him as I placed a firm hand over his shoulder, wanting to calm him down. He hesitated for a bit before answering.

“Omega.” I understood his hesitancy. Unmated omegas had a hard time even in packs, especially during heats, since Alphas couldn’t really control their instincts around them. At least, they needed that same connection, which could make the situation more acceptable, as it constituted at least some sort of consensual bond, but the fact of the matter was that omegas needed alphas to get through their heats, or they’d die, and a decision made in need wasn’t much of an actual decision in any sense.

Still, I was their Alpha and I knew I had to calm them down, so I did just so, the only way I could think of.

“I’m sure that when she gets over these first few days of fever, she’ll find her mate, Chris. Try not to worry too much about it. We have a lot of good, strong, eligible alphas in the pack, certainly one of them is her mate.” Of course, one of those alphas was me, but the possibility didn’t even cross my mind. She had just reached maturity, I was over forty and I’d seen her grow up. I was there the day she was born, I’d have noted if we had that sort of... special connection.

Of course, rationally, I knew it was possible. The truth was that the bond only made itself known after both parts present, but I still found it impossible to consider that a girl I had cradled in my arms right after her birth would be my mate.

My friend nodded, thanking me for the support, and I watched him and his wife try to get through the day before they had to go back home and take care of their daughter. I commended myself for a job well done, hoping that now that the surprise had been clarified, that anxious feeling would disappear.

It didn’t. I could barely sleep that night, my senses in overdrive as I moved around in bed. It was like my body thought there was an upcoming battle and it was trying to prepare itself to deal with it. My heart was beating at a level that pumped the adrenaline coursing through my veins even faster, and by the time the sun rose up in the horizon, I had maybe taken a couple of naps. Actual rest had been absolutely impossible.

Still, until the danger that my instincts were catching onto actually appeared, there wasn’t much that I could do. There was, however, a lot that I had to do as pack leader, and so I tried to get on with my day as if nothing was wrong. I couldn’t very well leave my members worried over something that I didn’t even know what it was. So after I ate some breakfast, I left my cabin to get on with my day, starting of course with a visit to my best friend’s house. As my Beta, he would know what I should prioritize that day.

Also, I figured it was the polite thing to do, check on Y/N and see if she was feeling better after her presentation. She was a part of my pack, after all. What I wasn’t expecting, however, was for her family to be gathered in the main hall, along with several other members, and that the moment I went through those doors, the only thing I could see was her.

The smell of oranges and basil hit my nose, inebriating my senses, and I had to hold onto the threshold of the cabin’s door to steady myself. Of course, the lack of balance and the crackling noise the wood made as I broke some of the structure I was holding onto caught everyone’s attention, but no one seemed to understand what was going on with me.

Until Y/N whimpered, her eyes connected with mine as she visibly trembled where she stood. The second that sound escaped her lips I knew everyone had caught on to what was happening, especially her father. But at that very instant I lost every amount of self-control I had managed to gather through my years as a leader and I couldn’t care less about what Chris or anyone else was thinking. All I knew was there was my mate, she was still unmarked, and there were far too many alphas surrounding her.

I made my way over to her so fast I was almost sure I had jumped or ran. In the back of my mind I noticed that people stepped aside to let me make my way to her, but I was too far gone to actually process the information. All that mattered was her. I needed to get her out of here, and soon.

The closer I got to her, the stronger was her scent. I was growling by the time I pulled her to me and threw her over my shoulder. It was an animalistic gesture of ownership, but it was all my mind could come up with at that moment. I just needed to get her out of there.

It was then that a particular smell hit my nose. Alpha. Turning around, I recognized her father through the haze I was currently under. It seemed like he was trying to calm me down, I could see from his lips’ motions that he was saying my name, but I couldn’t care less what he had to say to me at that moment. He was stopping me from claiming my mate. He was a threat to my bonding and I couldn’t have that.

The second I bared my teeth to him, however, he seemed to understand that there was no talking me out of what was happening.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I don’t know if it was Tom’s threat or my pained whimper that stopped my father from interfering, but I was glad to see his retreating form, mainly because it meant that I was one step closer to leaving this room and the god awful smells of random alphas that surrounded me.

It was so putrid that it burned, hurting my insides and making me hold my stomach in an effort to calm down the cramps that were threatening to kill me. A whimpered pain escaped my lips and suddenly Tom’s hands were around me, howling me up and throwing me over one of his shoulders.

The second his hands touched my sweaty skin, I let out a breathy sigh of relief, the close proximity to my Alpha instantly sufficing to calm me down, at least for now. I knew that for me to actually feel okay again, we’d have to complete the bonding.

A shiver went down my spine as the reality of my situation broke a bit of the fever I was currently under. I was about to be claimed by my Alpha, who also happened to be the pack’s Alpha.

Not only that, but I was about to have sex for the first time, and with my father’s best friend, someone I’d known since I was a kid. Someone I used to consider sort of an uncle. At least that awkwardness from my part had disappeared as I approached my teenage years and started to realize just how attractive Tom was. It was no secret that the unmated Alpha was desired by many women - and some men - in the pack, including the teenage girls who’d follow him around with a love sick expression as soon as their hormones kicked in.

The only thing that stopped me from being one of those girls was the embarrassment over the fact that he was a constant presence on our family meals, always teasing me and making me laugh.

That was what I was thinking about when the world turned to its rightful place, Tom having gently lowered me to my feet again. Before I could even rationalize that I should probably snap out of it and fake a smile, his finger was under my chin, tipping my head up to look at him.

“What’s wrong?” A resigned sigh escaped my lips, knowing I would never be able to hide anything from him, not when he was my true mate and my Alpha. I guess I’d have to get used to this.

“It’s just… This is a bit weird, isn’t it?” I managed to explain, my heart pounding as I feared some sort of resentment or anger from him. Besides, I was also still wrestling with the overwhelming mix of emotions and hormones that tried to take over my body, wanting to make sure I’d never leave this cabin unmated.

But that wasn’t Tom. Even if he was scary from afar, and downright threatening and aggressive when needed, he was also gentle and caring towards his pack members, especially when they were vulnerable.

That was definitely my case now. Also, I was his mate - I had to keep reminding myself of that, it still didn’t feel real - and it was ludicrous of me to even consider that he would ever treat me as anything less than a princess. Even before, he’d always reserved that sort of treatment for me, his “little girl”, as he’d often call me.

So he mirrored my sigh, his arm reaching out to hold my hand in his, and I automatically gravitated closer to him, desperate to feel his warmth on my skin, to know that he was close to me. I knew it was biological, but it felt like something so much deeper. It felt like a calling from the soul.

“Yes, it is weird.” I don’t know why, but the second those words left his lips, I felt the tenseness from my body disappear, my muscles relaxing as he held me close to his chest in a very welcomed hug. Something about knowing that he felt the same way as I did calmed me down, made me feel like this was okay, somehow.

Neither of us knew what was going to happen, but we were going to find out together. We had each other now, and hopefully, forever.

Then, a new wave of cramps hit me, making me double over and startling Tom, who released me so I could hold my stomach, but then tried to reach out to me in whatever way he could find, desperate to know what was going on.

“The cramps…” I explained as best as I could, grabbing onto the front of his shirt in an effort to hold myself up. “... They’re starting again.” Once again, Tom’s strong hands were there to rescue me, and soon he had hoisted me up in a bridal position so he could carry me up the stairs, where his bedroom was located.

Tom’s P.O.V.

“Shhh… You’re gonna be okay, princess. You’re gonna get through this.” God, there wasn’t even a bond between us and I was already feeling her pain. I desperately wanted to help her, make it go away. I could feel the need to protect deep in my bones, trying to once again snap my control, but although I knew what was the only thing that could help her, I still needed her to be okay with this first.

“Tom… Tom, please, help me.” I pushed strands of her hair away from her sweaty face, and she whimpered underneath me, sweat already starting to make her skin glisten underneath my fingertips. I ached to lick it, taste her on the tip of my tongue, but I didn’t feel like I could do it. Not yet.

“Tell me what you need,” I pressed, cradling her face between my palms. “Tell me how I can help.”

“You,” she breathed out, and I could see the desperation in her beautiful eyes. It hurt my chest, and once again the Alpha inside of me tried to claw its way to the front of my brain. “I need you to kiss me. Please, kiss me.”

She really didn’t have to say twice. I was dying to taste her lips since I saw her that morning. So I leaned over her, bringing her to meet me halfway by my grip on her jaw, and the second that our lips touched, I was a goner.

So soft, she was just so soft. Her mouth danced with mine and it felt like velvet against my chapped lips and the way she moaned when I licked on her bottom lip, prying it open, made a deep, possessive growl escape from deep within my chest.

“You smell so good.” I barely recognized my own voice as it came raspier than usual when I forced ourselves to separate so she could catch her breath. I’d happily suffocate if it meant I could keep on kissing her, but it was my job to make sure she would be okay.

I rubbed my nose over her shoulder, looking for the scent gland on her neck and nuzzling it upon my discovery. God, even if I wasn’t on my rut yet, this felt overwhelming, in the best possible way. But I could feel the need to mate rising from within me, and I couldn’t let it take over yet.

It didn’t seem like Y/N was all that opposed to my carnal needs, however, if the way she climbed on my lap to pull me back to her lips by the back of my neck was anything to go by. I still had it in me to chuckle against her mouth, amused by her eagerness, but that was only before she started to rub herself against me, whimpering desperately as she clawed at my shirt.

“Hot… It’s so hot in here. I need to -” I was still so dumbfounded over her last actions that it didn’t strike me what she was about to do until her dress was already on the floor, and I was staring at the practically naked young woman on my lap.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

Heat, it was all I felt besides the overwhelming emptiness that made my pussy clench sporadically around nothing. By that point, I couldn’t think of anything else. The pain had been replaced by this burning desire for the man in front of me, but it was burning so brightly that it was threatening to start hurting me, too.

“Knot…” I managed to say, despite my usual embarrassment to say that word, or the next phrase that so easily fell from my lips. “I need your knot.” Tom suddenly tightened his grip on my waist, and I whimpered from the pressure, but also relished in it. I knew there’d be marks, and just the thought of them made the wetness that was already gathering in my pussy start to drip onto my panties.

“Fuck, I can fuckin’ smell you, princess. You’re fucking dripping for me, aren’t you?” I could only whine in response. Tom took me off his waist, but before I could complain, he laid me down on his bed, crawling over me. “I need to prepare you, little one. I know it’s your first time, and even if you’re in heat right now and I’m your mate, I don’t want you suffering, okay?”

Whereas normally I would have melted at his preoccupation, the idea of his preparation only registered in my brain as a delay from my goal, that was to be filled with his cock, so I wailed while he worked on taking off my bra.

“Why is this so fucking hard?” He complained, the strap escaping from his fingers as he couldn’t seem to have the patience to actually do it properly. “Fuck this shit.” A gasp resonated around the room as he ripped the lace tissue from my chest, but then he was growling and latching himself on one of my nipples, licking and sucking and it made the burn between my legs worsen.

“Please, Alpha, please!” I don’t think he would have been able to separate himself from my breasts if I hadn’t called his presentation. Since it was the first time he was hearing it, though, his head whipped up, and he looked directly at me, seemingly astounded by that simple word.

“Please…” I whispered again, and that snapped him out of his reverie, making him deposit wet kisses all over my stomach as I thrashed around the bed, trying to force him down faster.

“I’ll take care of you, omega.” My panties, the last piece of clothing left on me, met the same fate as my bra, and then I was naked, spread open for Tom’s eyes to explore me. He licked his lips hungrily, noting, “You’re soaked already,” right as he lowered himself to deposit a kiss over my navel.

“J-just one of the reasons w-why y-you don’t have to do this,” I tried to reason with him, knowing that he had the best of intentions, but I needed his freaking knot sooner rather than later.

“Have to? I’m dying to taste your glistening little pussy. It’s calling out to me, angel.” That was the only warning I got before his mouth descended upon me, engulfing my whole pussy like it was nothing more than an open buffet for him to satiate his primal hunger.

Tom’s P.O.V.

I’d never tasted anything like her pussy before. Immediately, I knew that I’d be spending a lot of my following evenings with my head between her gorgeous legs, licking away at her little clit, and fucking her hole with my tongue.

“You taste like fucking candy,” I growled against her cunt, appreciating the downright filthy sounds that my slurping was creating against her wetness. Pushing my tongue as far as it could reach inside of her hole, I noticed how it pulsed against me, and I couldn’t wait to feel it around my cock.

But first… “I have to prepare you,” I said it out loud, to remind both her and me that nothing else was happening before I could get through this task. Normally, I wouldn’t consider it a hazard at all, I loved making a woman cry out with pleasure underneath me - and this was my mate, not just any woman - but I knew she needed to have me inside of her soon, and quite frankly, I didn’t know how much longer I could hold myself back either.

I pushed one finger inside of her as I continued to suck on her clit, immediately pushing another as she was already really wet and her pussy stretched easily to welcome any sort of thickness inside of it, since she was on her heat. Pretty soon I was able to put a third one, and I pulled away from her pussy just enough to watch my digits going in and out of her.

“Now, that’s fucking hot.” Her thighs trembled on each side of me and her moans became more high-pitched, and I understood that she was about to cum, so I lowered myself to lick her again and that was when she tumbled over the edge, crying out my name and my presentation consecutively, her legs wrapping themselves around my head to keep me where I was.

As soon as the waves crashed down and I was able to detach myself from her, though, it became clear that it hadn’t been enough. She needed me, and now I felt like I could finally give what she needed to her.

“You ready, princess?” I made sure of it as I rushed to open my jeans and get my cock out, groaning as the feeling of my fist around it was enough to make it throb. It’d been hard and ready and pulsing ever since I saw my mate.

“Yes, please, please, Alpha!” With another animalistic growl, I slowly pushed myself inside of her, only stopping when I bottomed out. I wanted to wait until she was ready, I knew she’d be much more receptive to the penetration thanks to her state, but I guessed it would still feel uncomfortable on some level.

Apparently, I was wrong.

“Fuck me, please, Tom, MOVE!” At that last request, I fully let myself go, allowing the Alpha to take over and claim his mate like he needed it to. I slipped out of her before easily manhandling her on her stomach, barking at her to present for her Alpha, and the second her pretty little pussy was thrusted up against me again, I pushed in and started pounding her.

“Fuck, little one, look at you… Taking your first cock so well. Your mate’s cock, angel. You won’t ever get to know how another feels like, will you? Because you’re mine. I’ve waited so long for a mate, for you, and you’re here now. You’re all mine, ‘mega.”

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I cried out both at his words and at the pressure I felt as his cock’s head speared against my cervix. It hurt, but it hurt so good, there were literal tears falling from my eyes on the mattress underneath me.

“Yours, I’m all yours,” I managed to gasp, and it spurred him on. I couldn’t even identify when he thrusted out of me, I felt so full and the emptiness was fulfilled and all I wanted was to keep this high forever.

“Tell me that again,” he ordered, making me whine as his hips kept pounding against my ass, the slaps echoing around the room.

“I’m yours, Alpha. Please, don’t stop!”

“‘m not gonna stop, I’m never gonna stop fucking you.” With a howl, I felt his knot pop open inside of me, prompting my release just as he pulled me up to carve his teeth on my neck. He kept slowly grinding against me, like he couldn’t get enough, and it made me laugh but also moan in satisfaction as he started to lick over his mark on my skin.

“Mine,” he whispered afterwards, when he managed to adjust us so we were both spooning on his bed, his knot still keeping us connected and bringing me a comfortable feeling of belonging I’d never felt before.

“Yours,” I repeated, caressing the hand with which he groped one of my breasts. “All yours, Alpha. You’re not alone anymore.”

#tom hardy #tom hardy smut #tom hardy reader #tom hardy imagine #smut #my fics #kinktober #kinktober 2020 #tom hardy imagines #tom hardy writing #tom hardy writings #tom hardy alpha #alpha au #tom hardy oneshot #tom hardy fanfiction

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jess-rewatches-prodigalson · 3 years

Text

Killabustas (S2, E9)

My time-stamped thoughts for this episode are below. As always I reference Malcolm’s mental health. A lot. So if that’s going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading.

SPOILERS AHEAD:

0:00 - Are the birds flying past Malcolm’s apartment supposed to be an omen for the rest of the season? Or just some foreshadowing for the bird-heavy episode? .....I’m probably reading wayyy too much into this.

0:12 - Ugh. Someone give this sweet cinnamon roll a hug. He’s spiralling. He is so close to having a total mental breakdown and it breaks my heart. (but like, I also want to see it because emotional whump is my favourite).

0:23 - “How can I trust you? I know what you did.” This. This is what’s killing Malcolm. The fear that if Gil, Dani, JT, and Edrisa find out what he did for Ainsley they won’t trust him. He’s afraid they’ll abandon him. He’s afraid that they’ll hate him as much as he already hates himself. ISTG the moment they all find out (or tell Malcolm what they suspect) Malcolm will break. That will be the metaphorical straw that breaks the camel’s back.

0:34 - Anyone else think Malcolm looks completely adorable (yet super sad and scared) when he’s focusing on painting? <3

0:45 - “Why must everything you paint have an exit wound?” I love that this suggests that this isn’t the first mother-son painting session. <3 hahaha

0:47 - “It’s a pear.” It’s heartbreaking that Malcolm didn’t even realize that his pear was bleeding. C’mon Jessica, it’s time for an intervention. Malcolm is breaking in front of you. DO SOMETHING.

1:01 - NO. DAMN IT FEDAK. I wanted to see Malcolm’s reaction when Jessica told him she was writing a memoir. I wanted to see it so badly. I wanted to see him panic about the fact that she was inevitably going to disclose information about his childhood that he’d rather not have public.

1:09 - “How much worse you really are.” OOOOOOOOOOHHHH SHIT. I can’t believe he said that to his Mother’s face. hahahaha OMG. Malcolm is a little shit head and I love him. Well, at least I know he’s upset about the fact that she’s writing this book. His jab at Jessica proves that much.

1:42 - Is Malcolm playing matchmaker here? hahaha or is he just trying to get Jessica out of his loft ASAP?

1:53 - “Why didn’t they call me?!?” Can you hear the sound of my heart breaking? I understand why they didn’t call him in on this one BUT it’s not helping Malcolm’s mental health. On top of the fear that he is becoming his father, the stress of covering up a murder, the fear that his sister is going to become a serial killer, his childhood trauma, and usual mental health issues - Malcolm is afraid he’s going to be abandoned if the team finds out about Endicott. This is reinforcing those fears.

1:55 - “Where should I start?” At least Jessica can see how much pain Malcolm is in. I wish she’d do something constructive about it.

2:00 - “Forget to call someone?” Something about the way Malcolm waltzes into the frame and delivers that line is super endearing. He’s like a little kid running after his older siblings and their friends when they tried to go to the mall without him. <3

2:05 - Why the hell didn’t Gil just pull a 1x12 on Malcolm and insist Malcolm take a holiday? Hell - he could’ve gotten Jessica to enforce it. The fact that Gil is being super distant with Malcolm is not helping Malcolm’s very fragile mental health. GIL I’M DISAPPOINTED IN YOU (and I have been all season....) :(

2:12 - “Trauma’s my middle name.” Okay so 1) what is Malcolm’s middle name? If it’s Martin please tell me he changed it when he changed his last name. 2) At least we got a small papa!Gil moment this episode. <3

2:26 - “Fine.” This is Gil terrified. Remember what Gil said in 1x12? “He was losing it. I mean, I could see that. But I was afraid that I’d lose him.” That’s why Gil is letting Malcolm on this case. He knows Malcolm is losing it and he’s terrified of what Malcolm might do to himself with time on his hands. Gil doesn’t think Malcolm should be working but he knows it’s the only thing he can do to help Malcolm in the short term.

2:42 - hahahaha Gil’s taken-aback look when Malcolm starts not-so-subtly being a member of the Gillica fan club. hahaha <3

3:00 - Okay. I’m done. Edrisa can’t still think she and Malcolm might happen. I can’t handle this blantant one-sided worship anymore and I’m so glad it’s ending this episode (I hope).

3:07 - “and also, you’re bleeding.” <3 JT looking out for Bright. <3

3:12 - “Oh. I thought that this was your hobby?” <3 Dani teasing Bright. <3 I love that Dani, Edrisa, and JT are at least giving Malcolm some positive attention right now. It’s good for his fragile mental state. <3

3:40 - The directing is really good this episode. I’m not usually a person who notices that kind of thing but DAMN.

“It’s an expression of power and control.” “Sounds like someone with serious anger issues.” Yikes. Why do the ‘cases of the week’ always relate back to Malcolm’s current mental health crisis?!? Malcolm dismembered a body (for Ainsley but still). Now he’s profiling that the act of dismembering a body is an expression of power and control. That reinforces his fear that he’s becoming like Martin. Dani’s distaste and offhanded comment about anger issues won’t help Malcolm’s very real fear of abandonment. Hell, it’s compounding his fears that he’s like his father - the man obsessed with power and control who has a nasty temper when things don’t go his way.

4:09 - “Our killer derived pleasure from this.” Dani looks terrified when Malcolm says this. Is it just because she thinks this is a gross and scary murder scene? Or is it because she’s connecting the Malcolm+Endicott dots?

4:11 - “budding homicidal psychopath” is this supposed to be foreshadowing that Malcolm is becoming a psychopath? The writers have been suggesting that Malcolm enjoyed cutting up the body all season. .....and I don’t want the story to go that way. Please no.

4:15 - “I think I just became a vegetarian.” hahahaha JT is my hero. I love this dude and his dry but humorous comments.

4:26 - Once again - I can’t rewatch the Martin+Capshaw scenes. Once was more than enough. My basic thoughts on this particular scene? Capshaw and Martin are both gross. I think Martin is desperate for physical contact and Capshaw knows it. I think Capshaw is manipulating Martin (why is a mystery to me). I also think Martin is manipulating Capshaw so he can use her to help him escape.....I do however think Martin is a heterosexual male who is full of lust and physical desires. (which is really gross to me - a sex-repulsed asexual).

6:22 - I have a serious love-hate relationship with this scene. On one hand, Gil is clearly so so so concerned about Malcolm here and it warms my cold dead heart. On the other hand, the fact that he sends Dani to talk to Malcolm instead of just talking to Malcolm himself kind of pisses me off. Gil’s been really distant with Malcolm all season and it’s killing me. BUT I also kind of understand why Gil is passing off Malcolm to Dani (I don’t agree with it but I digress). All season the writers have been pushing the Brightwell relationship. We’ve seen a lot of really good meaningful conversations between Dani and Malcolm. At this point in time, it appears that Malcolm is willing to open up to Dani more than anyone else. Think about it. Even in season 1 - Malcolm never really opened up to Gil about his mental health. Gil knows that Malcolm won’t talk about his mental health with him - so he’s sending in the expert (Dani). I’m not happy about this but I kind of get it.

6:39 - OMG. Malcolm excitedly sliding into the room is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. <3

6:44 - “What are you guys talking about?” “You.” Exhibit A. If Malcolm had just responded with “what? why?” or Gil had followed up his statement with “we’re worried about you” we could’ve had a meaningful conversation about Malcolm’s mental health. Right. Here. BUT Malcolm knows why they’re talking about him. Malcolm is deflecting. He doesn’t want to talk about this with Gil. So he rolls his eyes and walks away. Gil shouldn’t have let Malcolm off the hook so easily. :(

7:36 - “There’s a special place in hell for people who hurt birds.” Ugh. I just want to hug this little cinnamon roll. <3

7:55 - “Where’d this murder board come from?” hahahaha I love how JT’s constant mood is “I work with crazy people”.

8:07 - “You’re a web sleuth.” I love that JT somehow manages to get across that he thinks Edrisa is a complete weirdo but he respects the hell out of her. Also - the fact that JT teases the people he loves is so cute to me.

8:31 - “Ouf.” This was funny but it also felt a little ooc? Like wouldn’t Gil just cross his arms and say “Edrisa” as a gentle but stern warning?

8:53 - Does Edrisa have no filter or do people really think about sex this often? As an asexual, I’m genuinely asking.

8:55 - I love how uncomfortable Gil and JT get every time Edrisa starts talking about sex and/or reproductive anatomy. hahaha

9:37 - Did Martin ever kill animals? As a teenager maybe?

9:47 - “They have all the control over this cages, seemingly inferior creature.” ....is this supposed to be a subtle reference to the Martin/Capshaw thing? Capshaw being the killer and Martin being the inferior animal she’s controlling?

10:15 - Nope. I’m out. Can’t do it. So gross.

11:00 - “It’s super gross.” Malcolm is all of us.

11:08 - Soooo is Martin fantasizing about killing Capshaw after they do sexy things (hopefully consensual ones)?

11:52 - “Oh I’m already crazy.” This is somehow adorable and completely heart shattering. Malcolm is hiding his pain behind humour but he genuinely believes that he’s crazy. :(

12:00 - Is this the only conversation Malcolm and Edrisa have ever had without Edrisa hero-worshiping Malcolm?......I like it?!?! These two are total weirdos and should definitely be besties.

13:14 - Damn. Edrisa is shining in this episode. <3 <3

13:33 - “No. You won’t” hahaha JT being the team big brother is so cute.

13:46 - “You coming?” Malcolm is so soft here. <3 <3

14:00 - I love everything about this scene. I love how Dani opens up to Bright - even though it’s clearly still painful for her to talk about. I love how attentive and caring Malcolm is. I love how in character they both are. Malcolm is trying to deflect his problems. I love how Malcolm is 100% aware that Dani doesn’t believe his “I’m fine” bs. Dani is trying to get him to open up by sharing some of her own demons with him. Dani looks upset and worried that Malcolm won’t open up - but not surprised.

15:00 - “I pulled a Bright.” hahahaha OMG. I love that Dani and Malcolm don’t question this expression at all. It suggests that the team has used the phrase “pulling a Bright” before and I am here for it.

15:27 - This is what I call ‘passively suicidal’. Yes, Malcolm jumps in front of that car because he thinks it will help him solve the case. Yes, it’s technically an action motivated by the will to live. HOWEVER, he doesn’t move out of the way when Dani tells him to. That car is driving slowly. He doesn’t move. Because he’s in a mental state where he doesn’t care if he lives or dies. He has moments when he cares about life (like solving a case) but those just aren’t enough anymore. Yes, he looks a little alarmed when the car approaches him - but I honestly doubt Malcolm is frozen in fear.

15:56 - “You had the right of way. He can’t sue.” Holy shit. First of all - I immediately think Ashton is a douche. Secondly - is this how America works?!?! In Canada we teach our drivers that the ‘pedestrian always has the right of way’.

16:11 - “My super close friends from online.” Honestly - I feel called out. This is how I must sound when mention my internet friends to my family.

16:25 - Sooooo we’re all in agreement right? The fact that Malcolm has hit the left side of his head without medical treatment this many times = 1) mental breakdown sometime before the end of the season or 2) a way to get him out of taking the fall for Endicott.

16:38 - *sigh* can someone please hug this man!?!? He just can’t catch a break. This whole conversation between Malcolm and hallucination!Martin is heartbreaking. It shows that on some level even Malcolm knows he’s going to break soon because his mental health is in tatters.

17:23 - “She’s not like the others.” Who are the ‘others’? Are these the other people that Malcolm’s had a romantic interest in? Are ‘others’ friends from Malcolm’s past? Or are the others Gil, Edrisa, and JT?

17:34 - Ugh. Floppy haired. Bruised. Sad. My whump heart is so full.

17:56 - Does Malcolm not go on the internet? He didn’t know what a sock puppet is? (granted, I’m 24 and I didn’t know either).

18:04 - The firefighter’s name is BLAZE (Blaise)?!? Are you kidding me?

18:24 - “No. No, it isn’t.” Damn. JT is worried about Malcolm. Just look at him.

18:51 - Do I think it’s weird that this dude is so openly flirting with Edrisa in the middle of a police questioning?!? HELL YES. Do I think it’s weird that Edrisa’s allowed in the questioning??!!? HELL YES. Am I glad they’re giving Edrisa a love interest who isn’t Malcolm? OH HELL YES. ....also Edrisa and Blaze are kind of cute? Like they’re both weirdos and they’re both into each other so ...?!!?

19:47 - Wow. This whole “Killabustas police interrogation” scene is painfully hard to rewatch. Like - the dialogue makes absolutely no logical sense but it had to be there for the plot? Everything is just too convenient. The pamphlets. The fact that these members were all so quick to meet IRL. The fact that these dudes were able to track Alex down so quickly....I mean....who is buying this nonsense?!?!

20:05 - Ugh my asexual ass can’t handle the amount of horny people in this episode.

20:18 - Anyone else think it’s strange that Gil referred to Malcolm as “Bright” to Jessica?!? I mean, Jessica is Malcolm’s mother. PLUS it feels like Gil is trying to emotionally distance himself from Malcolm?!?

20:24 - “Remind me to take Malcolm out of my will.” hahahahaha OMG. I love Jessica so much.

20:44 - These Jessica/Gil scenes were a highlight of the episode for me. They’re just so cute. I love how supportive Gil is. I love how Jessica isn’t repressing her feelings with booze during this episode. I love how open about her insecurities Jessica is with Gil. I love how happy they both look. <3 <3 <3 <3

21:24 - “Some still do.” YES!!!! YES!!!! Keep flirting Gil!!! Don’t give up on her!!! <3 <3

21:45 - Holy shit. How much does Edrisa get paid?!?! This is a rich person apartment. I’m shook.

23:05 - Again. I must fast forward through the nasty romantic manipulation that is the Capshaw+Martin scene. The sexual tension made me nauseous the first time. But I WILL say that I think the black guard in this scene - Mr. Benjamin will be the dude Martin maims next episode (from the previews) - not Mr. David. Either that or the black patient in the room.

25:25 - “Watch out. I bite.” ........I have no words. My asexual ass is shocked, disgusted, and .....kind of proud of Edrisa for going after what she wants (even if she’s super crass about it).

26:03 - “That’s a seriously twisted mind.” “Sure. The kind I get.” This whole scene is heartbreaking. I honestly can’t tell if Malcolm is projecting himself, Ainsley, or both of them onto the suspect. “He killed for attention” - sounds like Ainsley to me. “Alex was going to out him to the group” ......HOLY SHIT. Does this mean Ainsley’s going to try and kill Malcolm and/or Jessica because she think’s they’ll rat her out?!?!?! “It’s about preserving the group. The Vulture needs them.” - That sounds like Malcolm to me. Malcolm doesn’t want to tell the team about Ainsley because he needs them and he’s scared they’ll abandon him if they find out about Ainsley.

27:10 - I’m getting secondhand embarrassment from the west coast of Canada.

27:21 - “Our killer would never order take out.” Weak, Malcolm. Weak excuse.

27:40 - annnnnndd this scene was a hard skip for me. I can’t watch Martin and Capshaw prepare to do sexy things. Nope. ALTHOUGH, I will say: Capshaw’s story about how she ended up in Claremont is interesting. Whether it’s true or not is debatable but it definitely shows that Capshaw is manipulative and creepy like Martin. I have a very strong feeling that Capshaw is a psychopath, serial killer, or sociopath.

31:00 - Edrisa checking out Malcolm’s loft is everything I dreamed it would be. The fact that she’s clearly in awe of his weapons collection. The fact that she has no regard for his privacy and just starts going through his fridge and sleeping area. The fact that she so openly comments and judges the stuff in his loft (ie. restraints on the bed, lack of food in the fridge). It’s perfect.

31:27 - “This is the fridge of a very sad person.” LMAO. I love this line so so so much. I love how Edrisa seems to be realizing for the first time just how broken Malcolm is. I love how sheepish Malcolm looks when she unintentionally calls him out. I love how amused Dani is by the whole situation. <3 <3

32:00 - annnndddd the Killabustas have taken over Malcolm’s loft. They don’t ask for permission to set up his TV. They don’t awkwardly hang out near the door until Malcolm invites them to ‘make themselves at home’ or any of the other common pleasantries us North Americans go through when we visit the homes of acquaintances. They walk right in and claim ownership. It’s kind of beautiful?

32:13 -......so did they already have Malcolm’s wifi password or am I expected to believe that they either a) have a mobile hotspot, b) are using data, c) web-sleuthed their way into hacking his wifi, or d) Malcolm had his wifi password written down somewhere super obvious inside the house?!?! This is honestly the most unrealistic thing about this episode. It’s 2021. The first time you visit a friend’s house you ask for their wifi password. It’s what you do.

33:28 - Ok. I like the kiss on the cheek. Very respectful. She clearly would’ve been down for more but he’s a gentleman and I respect the hell out of it.

33:48 - “I’m sorry Blaze is so jacked.” hahaha OMG Edrisa - Malcolm’s not romantically interested in you. He never has been. Read the room woman!

36:11 - Ashton is Malcolm in this scene. “I’ve been a freak my whole life. I had nothing until that bird video. Suddenly, I was a part of something.” == “I’ve been a freak my whole life. I had nothing until I joined the team. Suddenly, I was a part of something.”

36:38 - “Ashton, it won’t work. Family will only go so far. Because once they know the truth - who they’re really after - they’ll give up on you. And no more family.” Ouch. This hurts. Malcolm genuinely believes that Gil, Dani, JT, and Edrisa are going to abandon him the second they find out what he did for Ainsley. Malcolm thinks they’re going to hate him. Malcolm thinks they’re going to think he’s like Martin - a criminal. A killer. Look at how broken Malcolm looks and sounds here. It’s not just that Malcolm thinks he’s going to be abandoned. It’s that he thinks he deserves to be abandoned. He thinks he’s a monster.

37:02 - EDRISA!!! DAMN. I love this badass. <3 <3 So proud of the girl who literally had a panic attack in 1x15 when she had to save a that ‘almost-victim’ by injecting alcohol into him.

38:05 - My heart is so full. This is honestly one of my top 10 moments of Prodigal Son to date. I love that we see Gil’s new car. I love that he’s working on his car in a police mechanic shop. I love this little glimpse into Gil’s personal life - the man who likes fixing up old cars with a cold beer while listening to 80s music in an boombox from the 80s. <3 I love the absolute adorableness that is Jessica and Gil awkwardly flirting.

I love that Jessica - the rich socialite - holds Gil’s wrench without question. Even though she looks a little confused. I love that Jessica comes to Gil this time. He’s been instigating the flirting most of this season. It looks like Jessica’s finally ready to be an equal partner in the relationship.

I love that Jessica - the rich socialite - takes a drink of Gil’s working-class beer with a smile. His social class isn’t beneath her. She doesn’t care about how rich he is - just about the purity of his intentions and the depth of his devotion to her family.

39:00 - “Oh I remember her. How fiercely she protected her kids.” I LOVE THIS. I love that Gil is attracted to Jessica’s devotion as a mother. I love that the fact that she had children with another man (a serial killer) doesn’t bother him. He loves how fierce, independent, and strong she is and that’s absolutely gorgeous.

I love who wholesome their romantic moment is. Unlike Edrisa and Martin’s live scenes - it’s not fast, heavy, and physical. It’s slow, gentle, and emotional. Gil and Jessica dance like an old married couple when the song they danced to at their wedding comes on the radio.

I love the setting of the scene. How they’re dancing in a dirty mechanic’s shop. Jessica is dressed like the rich woman she is and Gil is wearing a plaid shirt rolled up to his elbows. The contrast is striking and beautiful. I love that Jessica isn’t trying to make Gil fit into her social status. She’s not dragging him to rich people galas and forcing him to dress or act like someone he’s not (although he would so do that for her). She’s hanging out with Gil on his turf and she’s delighted about it. <3

40:08 - “Do you think you can ever really know someone?” Isn’t this what Malcolm said to Gil in 1x17 as the whole Endicott thing was boiling? You know - a few episodes before the team arrests Malcolm in his loft when he’s in the middle of a mental crisis?!? Is this foreshadowing for the next mental health breakdown?!? (Hopefully a fully mental health breakdown this time?!?!)

40:18 - “Masquarading as someone he wasn’t” Yikes. Malcolm truly believes he’s lying to the team just because he’s not acting like a monster. Malcolm has truly convinced himself that he is his father’s son.

40:45 - I don’t even care how you feel about Brightwell. The fact that Dani is the only person this whole season who has told Malcolm that he’s not a monster makes her the greatest friend he could ever ask for.

40:51 - “Ever since Nicholas died.” ....well Dani isn’t a moron so if she didn’t connect the dots before she will now. If we don’t get an intervention next episode I’m going to throw hands.

40:57 - Why. Does. Martin. Have. To. Ruin. Every. Chance. Malcolm. Gets. To. Begin. To. Heal?!?!

41:16 - “ooooohhhh here comes the kiss” .....honestly though. Martin is every Brightwell shipper.

41:20 - I respect the hell out of Malcolm for shutting Dani down like this. Yes - he absolutely should’ve come clean with her. HOWEVER, he clearly isn’t ready to share this burden and the fact that he shut down the progress of any romantic relationship is really good. Because Dani would be SO MAD if they started dating while he was actively lying to her. It would be the end of their friendship. Forget your Brightwell ship - they wouldn’t even be friends.

41:40 - “Why are you ruining this!?” Dani had to have heard this. Even if she didn’t....Malcolm was pretty obviously glancing over her shoulder at hallucination!Martin before she left. There’s no way Dani - a detective - won’t be able to figure out that Malcolm is hallucinating. I WANT A MENTAL HEALTH INTERVENTION. NEXT EPISODE. I’M MANIFESTING IT INTO EXISTANCE. EVEN THOUGH I DON’T TRUST FEDAK TO GIVE IT TO ME. I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO HUG MALCOLM.

42:06 - Honestly thought Capshaw was going to beat the crap out of Friar Pete here. This woman is unstable. Mark my words. She’s going to kill someone (if she hasn’t already).

I know I kind of shat on this episode a bit but I honestly really liked it? I loved the character development it gave us. Even if the plot was pretty subpar.

Thanks for hanging out. See you next week. <3 :)

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