#hes my best friend and we skype every night that is how i know this

[skelly-jellyss]

bytedubs i am usually pretty open-minded when it comes to other peoples headcanons EXCEPT when they involve jesse dying in alaska sometime in the near future. its not even like a personal bias thing (tho it is that too… i love my boy and want him to Live) it’s just like. i genuinely Cannot conceptualize jesse being dead. characters who are so alive coded they are maybe even a real person

#so serious about this. he is in alaska he has a wife and at least one child and a reasonably large amount of dogs #he is so happy and so so Alive. #hes my best friend and we skype every night that is how i know this #breaking bad #brba spoilers #jesse pinkman #jel talk

[lexfoster]

Finding My Self in "We're All Going to the World's Fair"

originally posted on goodfeed content warnings for discussions of depression, suicidal ideations, and predatory relationships

Sometimes I still think about Erick. At least, I think his name was Erick. His email is still in my contacts, though it’s been a decade since we last spoke. Back then, I was a junior in high school, on my first antidepressant, and doing everything I could to distance myself from me. There was no big trauma, no life altering mind fuck to inspire the absolute hatred I had for living in my body. Just a suffocating loneliness. That’s when I found the tumblr roleplay community. I was raised on fanfiction and had written my fair share, but there was something different about roleplaying. I became that character, immersing myself in that fictional world. The numbness I felt about my own life was replaced by the intense wants, fears, grief of someone else. The emotional connections that my depression had severed became usurped by the relationships my character had with other characters. It was all text on a screen, but it was a life when I didn’t feel like living my own. In high school, I was a ghost. But when I wrote as my character, suddenly there was something solid to me. At the very least , I was solid enough to make contact with keys on a keyboard.

Erick was one of my writing partners. He wrote my character’s best and oldest friend, something I, in my real life, had lost not too long prior (Sometimes people grow apart. Sometimes you love people more than they love you). We would talk “out of character”, mostly about plot stuff, but with sprinkles of real life. Hey, what’s up? How was your day? This person whose face I only ever saw in a selfie he posted became someone I spoke to daily. Then, one day, he didn’t respond. A couple days of silence, then he wrote that he’d been in a car accident, but he was recovering and doing okay. We went back to frequent communications, just not as frequent as before. And then a little while later, he was gone. I like to think that he’s fine, just got bored of the game we were playing or stopped caring about the character he wrote. Maybe something bad happened during his recovery. Maybe there was never a car accident at all. Who knows? Not me, that’s for sure. And while I still think about him every so often, he's not really on my mind much.

Then today, I watched We’re All Going to the World’s Fair. Written, directed, and edited by Jane Schoenbrun, the movie follows young person, Casey, as she takes part in this online game called the World’s Fair Challenge. It’s a roleplay viral challenge where people film themselves saying “I want to go to the world’s fair” three times, draw their own blood, smear it on their computer screen, and watch a strobe light video. After that, people would film their "progression" of going, essentially, crazy. After initiating the "ritual", Casey seems to disassociate from her body, losing control of herself and her actions. But it’s a roleplay game. A horror one, but it isn’t real. None of it is real. Until it is. Or is it? On the other side of Casey’s screen, there’s a man in his 40s who just goes by JLB. He watches and responds to her videos, though Casey never sees his face. It’s part of the game, too. But that line between reality and fantasy begins to blur and at the end, he’s scared that it’s no longer a game for her. Via Skype, he asks to speak out of character, asking if she’s okay, if she’s really going to kill her father or herself. At first, she seems confused. This was a game? But then there’s a switch, and of course she knows it’s a game. None of it is real. Why is he getting scared? She ends the call and tells him to never call her again. Calls him a pedophile. We fast forward and he's making a video about how he saw Casey a year after that Skype call. That she was doing a theater program in Manhattan now. That she apologized for how she left things and after that night a year ago she'd gone to an inpatient care center for a couple months. According to him, at the end of the night they hugged and parted ways. But we don't see it, we only see JLB on his end of the screen, speaking to no one.

In the end, we’re left with uncertainty and no clear answers. We don’t even really know who the two characters are. Is Casey her real name? Were any of her moments of disassociation real? Did any of the events JLB described really happen? Was the man a pedophile, or just lonely? Does it even matter when the dynamic was inherently predatory? I’ve seen critiques of the film that point to the lack of answers, the ambiguity. But ambiguity is the only thing that's certain online. We don’t know who is on the other side of our screens. And sometimes, we don’t really know our own selves in front of it.

Right before the film’s climax, there’s a line Casey says in the midst of what seems to be a breaking point. “I swear, someday soon, I am just gonna disappear and you won't have any idea what happened to me.” Yes, I thought of Erick and how one day he was there and the next he was gone. I thought about how I’ll never have any idea what happened to him, or if anything he shared with me was real. I thought of the fleetingness of that connection, and so many more that I made over the years behind that screen. I thought of all the lies I was probably told without any way of knowing they were lies. But I also thought about myself. My own phantom of self. I often cite roleplaying on tumblr as something that saved my life, and a part of me still thinks it did. I was self harming, suicidal, isolating myself from everyone in my life. Roleplaying was my life jacket. But when I finished watching We’re All Going to the World’s Fair, the only "review" I could put into words was that when you’re drowning within yourself, sometimes your life jacket only offers the illusion of safety. Did becoming so disconnected from who I was save me, or did it just enable my deep desire to disappear? It’s been a decade now and I still haven’t fully found that kid I used to be. When I think of my life as a series of portraits, I am translucent for so many of them. Or I am painted in the style of people who never existed.

Or did they?

Maybe we'll never know.

#We're All Going to the World's Fair #Jane Schoenbrun #horror essay #personal essay #i wasn't able to also talk about the way the film parallels my relationship to my gender #and how that journey was incredibly helpful in beginning to reconnect to my body #but i just want to put it in the tags here bc it's a disservice not to #anyways i wrote a thing #mine

[perfectlysunny02]

A Suresh/MC one shot

Word Count: 843

Read it here or on AO3

Based on the song WorldWide by Big Time Rush

Ava audibly groaned as she entered the apartment, somewhere in her busy, busy day, she had forgotten that her boyfriend, Suresh, had left for a business trip.

She hated business trips. Hated them entirely. She hated seeing Suresh’s stuff lying around but not seeing him. She hated how empty the apartment seemed, and she hated how she could never seem to get a good nights sleep with him gone.

She knew these were important for his career, especially if he wanted Partner, and he did, Ava had never seen Suresh work so hard for something in their entire two year relationship, everything else seemed to come so easily to him.

So she sucked it up, shoved down her complaints and insecurities, and plastered a big smile on her face every time he told her he had to leave. Which was so hard.

Because ever since she had moved in with Suresh at the beginning of their relationship, they had hardly spent a moment apart.

Luckily for her, the business trips weren’t usually long, couple of days at most. This was the longest trip yet, however, and Ava wasn’t sure how she would survive. It was a whole week. She could barely make it one or two days, she was completely miserable the whole time, imagine a week

She hadn’t wanted to get out of bed this morning, and go to work, not wanting to leave the comfort of his arms, knowing that when she got back home, he’d be gone, and she’d be stuck with limited Skype calls, and a cold empty bed. Ava wasn’t ashamed to admit the calls would probably be the highlight of her week until he came home.

She made sure he knew to call her every night too, or at least send her a text, depending on the time difference, on the first business trip. She wasn’t sure if she could go so long without talking to him. And the best part, he didn’t seem to put off by her clingy behavior as she suspected at first but instead readily agreed.

“I’ll tuck you in every night on the phone. I promise, sweet girl.”

Her girl friends tried to cheer her up at first but it was like nothing could. Not until Resh got home, safe and sound, not until he held her in his arms again.

He calmed her down, he was her peace, the best part of her life.

Ava was pretty sure he was her soulmate, and when he came home from this trip, she was ready. She had already bought a ring, had a plan and everything. She was ecstatic at the thought of spending the rest of her life with this sexy, smart as hell, completely out of her league man.

They just had to get through this damn week.

As she was putting on a pot of coffee, in a pair of Suresh’s sweats and a ratty old t-shirt that she wasn’t sure where she got it from, ready to just collapse on her couch and emerge herself into Netflix late into the night until she was ready to go to sleep, her phone rang, and with an excited squeal, before taking a deep breath, after all there was only one person it could be, she answered it with a big smile.

“Hey Resh,” She couldn’t control the big smile on her face, it was hurting her cheeks.

“Hey Av,” Suresh smiled. “Wait. Before you tell me anything, how was your day? Don’t leave anything out either. Cause I’ve been missing you by my side, pretty girl.”

Ava sighed, and resisted the urge to slightly roll her eyes, as today had been a terrible day, but she didn’t want to tell him that. So instead she settled on the plain bare minimum description of her day.

“It’s just been busy, I’m really tired.” She sighed. “I miss you already.”

“I know babe,” He said softly. “This week in Tokyo, it’s just one thing I gotta do. I’m never as far away as I seem.”

“I know,” Ava smiled slightly. “Soon we’ll be together and we can pick up right where we left off.”

“That’s right pretty girl,” Suresh said, the pet name still making Ava blush, even though it’s been two years. “And besides, you know girl I’ll be thinking about you worldwide. You’re are the one and only girl on my mind.”

Ava blushed and bit her lip, and lightly dropped her head, hiding behind her hair.

“Even… even with all the other girls in Tokyo?”

“They don’t compare,” Suresh laughs. “There ain’t no one better. You’re mine. You got my heart.”

Ava smiled.

“I love you Resh.”

“I love you more sweetheart,” Suresh smirked. “Now run off to bed, or you’ll oversleep and be late. I’ll talk to you tomorrow sweet girl.”

Ava blew Suresh a air kiss and hung up, feeling lighter than before. They would be alright.

After all, she was the one he thought about, Worldwide

#litg fanfic #litg s5 #litg ex in the villa #pre-villa #litg suresh x mc #business trips #tokyo #big time rush songs

[dstufabtstufr]

Some more backstory stuff and relationships I have

I do not have a tulkun because I missed my ceremony to my special one for being future T'shaki from being captured at 6 years old by the sky people, i would have met her when i got back except for the fact that she was kiled and payakan was blamed for it. It is something I am relentlessly bullied and mocked for especially by Aonung. Her name was Tunne'lyta, lyta for short.

Technically I'm not blood related to Tonwari and Ronal but they try their bests to make it feel that way. T'sireya has always felt like a sister to me and is my sister no matter what blood says. Aonung is the worst out-of all of them he has always made it known that I will never be related to him that he never wants me to be, it seems like he had always hated me and I've been by it really hurt for a long time even before I left and continuing after I came back, he's always been an ass.

Roxto is a good friend to me even tho he is just as close friends with Aonung. But isnt mean to me like Aonung.

Me and Jake are pretty close I see him in a father way especially after the war. He always knows how to comfort me and gives great advice to me in my times of doubt and worry.

Neytiri is the closet person I have to a mother and we have a strong bond. She has always known I would be close to her and her family ever since she heard me defending lo'ak and neteyam after their fight with Anoung and his friends. But she seen me as family during and after the war because of the way I fought for neteyam. She truly does she me as one of her children.

Tonowari is another person I kinda see as a father. I know he cares for me alot. When I was missing every year annually he would have a big sreach for me. I can tell he loves but has a hard time showing so I got used to the small things he does to so it. Like listening to my stories, gives me soft eyes and hugs me.

Ronal is a completely different story from all. I know she cares for me but definitely not as much as her own child like tonowari and the sullys do. She is nice to me but doesn't love me and I am fine with that because it's a mutual feeling.

Lo'ak isnt like a brother to me he is my brother no matter what blood says. We can confide with each other abt our deepest feelings and not be afraid of judgement at all. We are also each others wing man's cause he likes t'sireya and I like neteyam.

Kiri is a really close friend and we love each other alot she is a great person to be around even with her sassyness but we bounce it off each other.

Tuk is the cutest thing ever and she is like the little sister I never had. She is really sweet and love to play tag and hide and speak with me.

T'sireya is a very close friend like kiri I'd say they are my 2 bestfriends but not as close as my brother lo'ak.

Neteyam is my soul mate through and through. We know exactly how to treat each other and sometimes it feels like we are one because of the love and trust we have for one another. He is a very big gentleman and is very sweet to me. Even Neytiri believes it, she told us one night how she thinks we are the more intense soulmates call the soul " The story goes ewya made one soul so beautiful and so loving that's when all the other mates and lovers even seen or thougth about the soul they would fall out of love because they knew they'd never have such a deep and intense love like the soul So ewya decided to to separate soul into 2 different bodies which is very very rare to find the other half of And I think that You 2 just so happened to be the soul that is finally reconnected."

Only after the second war with the Skype people were I saved Neteyam does Aonung start treating me nicely it was kind of weird at first but I really appreciate it it's nice actually having a brother.

My daily (unless it's the weekend) chores are getting up really early and going out on the water to scout out good hunting spots by using tracking techniques to see what animals are going threw certain places and when it is good to hunt there.

Once I get to my dr I tell lo'ak who is completely u understanding and wants to know more abt nature or whatever I can remember of her. The 2nd biggest reason I told lo'ak other than I trust him the most is one would believe him and he wouldn't be able to prove it which we joke abt in private all the time.

Once we all get back to the village after the war. I decided To go flying to clear my head, while circling around this one small island I see someone getting dragged out the water by this pink thing I go to land on the island right next to the rocks they are on to see what is happening. It's spider and quartich. I become in raged with knowing that miles just saved his dad. I wait till quartich leaves to offer miles a ride back to the village. "It's a far swim" i say with the best fake smile ever " plus we should properly meet now" "thanks..." "Nal'rhi" " oh thanks Nal'rhi"

[teenagexxfever]

Dear You,

I remember how we first met. Our friend introduced us after school back in middle school. You had those hazel contacts on, you were so cute. You would swear I always ignored you but I had a crush on you ever since that first day.

Then we met again in highschool. You transferred into my p.e class and my Japanese class. You would sit next to me all the time, I don’t know why but we were just drawn together. You would always sit next to me, even when you would constantly get yelled at for it. We would share headphones and listen to your iPod, you would eat those custard pies I hated so much. Our class would say how they would totally see us dating but we played it off like that wasn’t what we were thinking about. You would always ask me who I liked and I didn’t know why you would do that, I liked someone else but I had a crush on you. I could never tell you though. I kind thought you knew. I felt like you always had a little crush on me too. I remember how your friend tried to get you to talk to me and I told him, “if he wanted to talk then he could ask himself” and after that we didn’t talk for a while.

When we started talking again it wasn’t until after highschool. We started Skyping every night that one summer, summer 2013 I think. You told me you liked me that one summer night. It took me a couple days but I asked to talk to you again, and I told you I’ve never been with anyone but I liked you too. So now what?

06/25

Our first date. Our first kiss. We met at the beach, even though you saw me that morning when you drove off the freeway with Devin in the passenger. He pointed me out and you noticed it was me. But I ran away from you when I noticed you. I was nervous, I was thinking of all the wrong things. I was thinking I needed to get my eyebrows done and you came just twenty minutes too early. God.

Then when I saw you, it was so awkward, we were so shy. You wanted to stay longer but you had to leave.

My friends walked away, your friends went to the car. We stood there, awkwardly wanting to kiss. Your friends raised the radio volume and “Hold On We’re Going Home” was playing in the background, they were yelling “come on already!”

And then, we kissed. I still remember it.

I still have that skirt I wore on our first date. I still remember seeing you that night, you gave me your sweater. You asked me to be your girl.

Best night of my life.

I remember the days you would Skype me and tell me you had a dream about me having your baby. You dreamt about me being pregnant, going to a park with you, you said you wanted me to be the mother of your kids way back when we were still just kids. Damn. I miss the feeling of you dreaming of me.

I miss you, I hope you remember those things too. I love u.

#Spotify

[blacklodgemusictx]

Texas Show Three: Austin Night Two

I'm in my San Antonio hotel room, awaiting Show Four. I can see how a person might get used to this. New city, new hotel, comfy bed (fingers crossed), tiny writing desk/table/bureau for me to sit at and pour out my adventures from the night before.

But there is a not insubstantial quantity of animals at home who need me back, not to mention a boss who will notice if I'm not back and re-chained to my oar at the proper time.

So I will continue on with the time allotted to me.

Last night was the Cactus Cafe in Austin and this had me feeling a lot of feelings (in my feelings? as the kids say?) If all eventualities are still playing out every where at any given time, four-years-younger me was still wandering the halls, looking for the cafe.

I was still there taking pictures with Marty where I accidentally hit record and ended up getting a video of the table top and random audio of our weird conversation (90% of conversations with Marty are probably weird conversations and I am 100% here for that), me with my hotel room freshly cancelled out from under me still talks to Salim (he has kind eyes... He's tall. Like me. Most people aren't tall like me. Why is he talking to me?), talks to Danny (who will go home to England and yet - on the other side of a stack of calendar pages - will still become my Skype guitar mentor). Maybe in some reality we still have our Austin hotel room and all is well, maybe in some realties, we hit a deer on the way home (Hill Country Deer roulette is a thing, y'all, never doubt.)

The stage curtains are still red at the Cactus Cafe. The whole thing felt small. Like when you return to a childhood classroom after a growth of years and wonder at the doll-sized tables and chairs, hooks for coats and backpacks now at stooping level.

The audience was good. A very respectable number. Quiet and attentive. Joe and Salim are appreciably tighter as a duo than just a couple of days ago. The songs with Oliva (all songs should be with Olivia. That should be the rule. If you want your song to be exponentially more gorgeous, allow her to deftly draw her bow across it) have grown from one to two ("Friends for Life" and now "Miette.")

Curfew at 10 doesn't afford Marty the same relaxed approach as previously. He still banters... he just tries to do it quickly/more condensed. Still. A sight to behold. I mentioned to Danny ("Laish" from the last tour, 2018) that we didn't get back from Celina last weekend until after 2am. You know how Marty loves to talk. That man, he agrees, loves to talk. But I don't think any one of us who have met him would have it any other way.

If there were ever enough time, I would love to take Marty strolling in some cool, storied old cemetery. He has prefaced "Hopes and Fears" each night with mention of a love story occurring during the Industrial Revolution where people were being eaten by machines just miles from the picturesque English countryside.

I wonder what he would say at the Colorado mining town cemeteries we've been to in years gone by where my favorite thing to do was walk amongst the headstones and imagine the tragedies that went with each short span between dashes. Injury, illness, tragedy... anything has to be infinitely more interesting and therefore romantic than the angry, disposable society of today.

It was a good show. The best possible incubator for what is about to happen because I'm surely about to be standing in Philly tomorrow (philly... philly... philadelphia. TOMORROW. Wake up. Terrifying miracle of modern air travel *POOF* other side of the US) wondering where all that good will and attentiveness went.

Salim gives voice to exactly what I'm thinking (he gestures to me twice last night to come back over to where he is because I wander off when people want to talk to him. Still, watching him wave at me, I stifle the urge to turn around and look behind me. Surely, he's waving at someone else.)

The touring unit, Salim says (Joe, Salim, Marty and Olivia) are hitting their stride and perfecting their performance (story about Venice here, speaking in different accents, counting in different languages, story about the arrival of "I Don't Think So" in one day's work)... just to only have one night left and done. This is the kind of situation where you want this to be the beginning, the warm up, not the end.

The East dates will not be like any of this. I know that. And I worry. He doesn't need me to worry. He's an old pro at this, but I also remember very clearly standing in the West Salem gig in 2020 and just being so angry while forks clattered against plates and people just would not *shut up*. They talked over Rhett too which is bizarre to me as this is who most of them are paying specifically to see (I still have only the most basic concept of Rhett. I know he is kind and gives off similar good feelings as Salim... but I also know he's on TV. Like, a lot). These audiences will be looking for a tipple, looking for a gnosh and the music will be a backdrop that a lot of them will barely pay attention to.

I'm glad for the Texas gigs. I'm glad for the love that has been afforded everyone so far. So so much.

Salim mentioned liking the response gotten so far to "Protect Your Peace," a lovely song Salim has been weaving around a piece of audience participation that has - so far - gone beautifully. I feel like this song is probably not even going to be tried on the next leg of shows... just a feeling.

But an old, dear friend of mine I've never actually met in person bought EIGHT tickets for Philly so there is as much positive mojo as anyone could possibly want right out of the gate.

And Sarah and me and my husband will be there. Which means, no matter how hard he has to fight to win the room every night... the cheering section from home will still be there.

And doubtless, there will be someone there every night that was just like I was. Someone who didn't know that some guy they've never heard of from Texas is EXACTLY what they needed to include to make their listening, their *living* experience that much better.

And winning one person is WINNING.

Grand adventure awaits.

#salimnourallah #martywillsonpiper #oliviawillsonpiper #joereyes #austintx #cactuscafe #nostalgia #dejavu #rhettmiller #sanantonio #lonesomerose #adventure #protectyourpeace #thechurch #thechurchband #nocturum

[xanaxxx-aunt]

I can’t believe it’s been sixteen years since we met.

It was a Friday as well–my cousin’s annual black friday party. He doesn’t have them anymore, he has a wife and kid now instead. I was sitting on the counter talking to some drunk girl, I can’t even remember her name, and she spilled juice all over the counter, so I got up and went over and sat on the floor by the back door. It was nice outside. You sat next to me and made some stupid joke. I don’t remember what was said, but I do remember laughing harder than I had in a long time. I remember agreeing about everything (that would later change lol) and I remember recognizing myself in you. I remember loving you immediately. Not romantic love, but something deeper. Our souls recognized each other. We didn’t stop talking for the rest of the night. We didn’t stop talking for years, even after you moved. We talked every day. We skyped. You visited and we did dumb teenager rebel shit. I said I’d visit when I got my license but I never did. I regret that. I regret a lot. We were annoying. We fed off each other’s energy. We had constant drama. But you were my very best friend and for a long time the good always outweighed the bad. And then you met Ben.

Ben. Disgustingly wealthy. Extremely well-connected. Got whatever he wanted before he even had to ask. He was exciting, but he was dangerous. He knew all the right people, and all the wrong people. He was bored in life; he had no challenges, no need to work, he graduated high school and the future was his. By then his father had claimed you as his own, and you could pretty much have whatever you wanted as well. I’ll never forget him buying the two of you matching bmws as your graduation gifts. Matching cars. It never got old making fun of you two for that. It was so funny to me. But none of that was enough for Ben. Nothing was ever enough for Ben. He needed excitement. He needed danger, and he needed to pull you into it along with him, because he also needed you. I wish you had been smart enough to say no. I wish he had been a better friend. I wish he had actually cared about you enough not to get you involved in the business.

I wish you had cared enough about me not to get me involved in the business.

I don’t blame you though, it’s not like it took much convincing. I was bored with life too. I was angry that my dad was sick. I had too much freedom with my parents away at the hospital constantly. I wanted excitement as well. I craved danger just as much as Ben did. I’m sorry we both failed you.

I knew there were only two ways it could end—prison or death. I didn’t mind death for myself, but you promised me when you left you’d stay safe. You loved life, and you were good at living. You had fun, you were the life of the party, you did whatever you wanted whenever you wanted, and you loved every moment. You were brave and confident and brilliant and talented, and it all was wasted. Your two closest friends not only allowed you to get closer and closer to that dangerous life, but joined you. I’ve always blamed Ben, but I know I played almost just as much of a role in it as he did. Almost. He introduced you and me both to these people, and I will never forgive him for that. I will never forgive him for how much of a coward he was in the end. I’ll never forgive myself for being such a coward as well.

I’ve said it a thousand times, and I know I can say it a thousand more and it still won’t feel right, but I am so sorry. I should’ve told you. More than that, before any of that, I should’ve gone with you. I treasure the time I got to spend with him in the end, but I didn’t need to watch him die. That’s definitely something I could’ve lived just fine without. However being there with you, maybe I could’ve kept you out of trouble. Maybe I wouldn’t have had to lose my father and my best friend in the first five months of 2014.

I wish I could have been as brave as you, but I was terrified, and I couldn’t run. I know I made the right decision, but if I could go back, I wouldn’t have made the same one. If I could do it again, I’d have gone with you, and we’d have had the most incredible experiences, and so much fun, and we’d both be dead now. I’d prefer my life that way.

It hurts knowing there are ideas, moments, memories that only I possess now. They died with you, and I’m left now to carry the burden of the truth. I burned your pictures and letters because I was so angry with you, and now I would give anything for just one picture of you. I learned my lesson though, I keep everything now. I miss your face.

I’m trying to make sure your brother is okay. He’s not making it easy. You’d be glad to know we don’t hate each other anymore. He’s more like you than I realized, and it’s really painful at times talking to him because sometimes it feels like I’m talking to you and I have to bring myself back to reality. I have to remind myself you’re gone, forever, and every time it’s like a brick to the chest. No, it’s like a red stripe bottle to the head. I don’t blame you for that anymore, btw. I blame the person responsible, and only him. I just wish him being gone as well brought me any type of peace. I really thought it would, at least a little, but it didn’t. It didn’t bring you back, and that’s the only thing that I truly want.

I’m grateful for this day, because I wouldn’t trade our friendship for all the peace in the world, but I hate today so much. My brain is just flooded with every memory, every emotion, every moment of joy and every moment of fear. I feel it all, and it’s heavy. I think it always will be.

I’m rambling; I’m saying the same three things I always say—I’m sorry, I regret everything, and I miss you.

I guess that’s really all there is left to say at this point.

I love you, kid. Always.

#personal #letters #e #loss #grief #rambling

[preyforthewicked]

16.

In May of 2011, my family moved back home, hallelujah praise the Lord. Our work in Peru was finished. I was sixteen, had just wrapped up my junior year in online high school, and was ready for a bombass teenage summer with my friends. This time, when summer was over, I would not be ferried 4,000 miles away back into the crushing isolation that was those four lonely walls in Peru. Things would be more normal again. I could hang out with my friends without the necessity of making extensive plans months in advance. I could ride my bike around the neighborhood without thinking twice. I’d get the chance to interact with people on a weekly basis who were my age and spoke my language. It felt like heaven.

Now that we were back, my mom informed me we could look into braces. During our stay in Peru, I woke up one morning unable to open my jaw beyond a sliver of space my toothbrush barely fit through. It sorted itself out within a day or so, and when we went to a specialist in Lima, he said I had a slight underbite that may have contributed to the lockjaw. (I think David wondered if all the blowjobs he demanded of me contributed, but he never said so directly.) Braces with springs could straighten that out.

In the months leading up to braces, I lurked around on some internet forums to get an idea what having braces might be like. Several posters recommended whitening your teeth before you get braces put on due to how hard it is to keep them clean afterward. This seemed like sound advice to me; I’d always took good care of my teeth, and they weren’t sparkling white, but still, whatever cleanliness and off-whiteness I had I wanted to preserve. Buying some whitening strips seemed like a good precautionary measure. 

One night, I hadn’t managed my time well and still had a thick whitening strip in my mouth when I said I’d Skype David. At this point we were just on audio most nights, since he felt less comfortable video chatting while others in my house were still awake. He was always paranoid a family member could walk in and find his face on the screen. This did not prevent him from asking me to turn on my camera for a few minutes and take my shirt off while he took care of himself on the other end. 

He answered the audio call and we chatted for a minute. I sounded a bit weird because of the whitening strip; he noticed this and asked about it. I told him I was whitening my teeth.

His reaction would have made you think I’d said I just went out and banged all the men I knew. 

He was furious. Without a transcript in front of me, I don’t have the faintest idea what about it made him so irate. I don’t know if it was his inclination for desiring control over me, but that is my best guess. It would fit the narrative. He was always asking me who I was with and what we did whenever I alluded to going out with friends (which wasn’t often) and there was a period of time where he’d emotionally turned me against some of them. I became a harsh critic of the music they listened to, the things they talked about, how they said “like” every other word. He had little trouble poisoning me against them. 

Whenever we messaged during the day, he’d ask where I was and if anyone else was in the room. At some point I began to lie, telling him what he wanted to hear - that I was alone - because any other response prompted the lecture he’d given a million times about how dangerous it was to message him with anyone else in the room because what if they happened to glance at my 3.5 inch iPhone screen? I found it tiresome and ridiculous. Just because I was in the same room with my grandma didn’t mean she was over my shoulder. 

I took the whitening strip out and threw the rest of the box in the trash. He made me feel so bad about it, even though he wasn’t physically there to confirm the box was in the trash, I still did it, wasting precious allowance money, my only income. Whatever his argument was, it cut deep. I apologized. 

That night I practically took my top off before he could even ask, to prove my repentance. 

#preyforthewicked #sexualabuse #autobiography

[isaabelena]

Ashley, Ellie, Elena.

I hope you can remember her as the person she was. Not as the mother or flaws or the worries or the troubles and mistakes.

But as Ashley, the person who made you feel alive for a moment. The girl who was wild and free and skipped school to go to the library instead to read anime and get on MySpace and hang out with my friends on that walk there! Spent all of 10th grade being free! I met amazing people and thought I met the love of my life. He gave me a cracker with cheese whiz and I thought that was the sweetest thing you ever did for me! Wasn’t till I was forced to move away that I found out you felt the same way..

As Ellie, the girl who was secretly hiding all the dark shit that happened to her but lead high school like she didn’t give a fuck! Spent all my weekends with my best friends walking around the mall instead of inside because we wanted to be different! And security always thought we were up to something but all we wanted to do was fight zombies while we crossed the border! The best moments of my life! You all were my best friends and never gave up on me!

As Elena(Isabelena), my alter ego! The girl who was fearless! Played all the games and had the best stories and the best attitude and the best soundtracks and movies! Sat up all night talking to my favorite people on Skype and discord! Singing our hearts out and laughing our asses off and fighting mushrooms and jellies and sitting in rooms being the coolest people there! Even when we were not even talking! I’ll never ever forget the countless people I met online! You all will always be my truest, realest family I have ever had! I’ll never forget you!

As Danielle. The little girl who was helpless. I’ll never want my childhood again because of her. Being screamed at for being a child. For staying up all night peeking through a crack in my door to make sure OUR dad wouldnt storm in and throw everything around including us. Feeling useless when he hurt my siblings because I was just a tiny little girl but I was the oldest. Feeling like I was supposed to protect them and I couldn’t! Thankfully none of them remember because we were all so small. I barely remember the details. Maybe it wasn’t even real… Being sexually abused by my so called dad and then finding out he wasn’t my real dad in highschool. But meeting my soulmates in 9th grade and finding my relationship with my sister! My sister will always be my soulmate!

But I’m fucked up from my childhood! Every single moment of it! Danielle will truly be the worst moments of my life! I’ll always keep her a secret and hate when anyone calls me that name. Even if that’s my birth name, Elena will always be who I am! I just don’t know how to be me again…

#thoughts #writings #isabelena

[foreveralonewithmystupidthoughts]

Fuck fake friends!!!

I’ve had this “best friend” for over 10 years. We’ve been good up to 2020. Covid happened and we obviously couldn’t see each other because I am a vulnerable person with several illnesses.

The last we actually saw each other was December 2019, which I understand fully because of covid and not wanting to get me really sick.

After that shit with the dude that was creepy and controlling in my last post here - ⬇️⬇️⬇️

I needed some help. Some support. I was and still am paranoid he will show up where I live, or he will use the things I told him privately and in confidence against me some how.

I thought I’d go to my best friend. I decided to ask him if he’d like to video call again. After we haven’t done it for a while, mainly because I’ve been too nervous (from not seeing each other for a long time).

We decided we’d Skype on Saturday, he was apparently busy and didn’t tell me or think to say he couldn’t do Saturday because of what he had planned. Otherwise I’d have said fair enough.

We then decided on Sunday, but thanks to my bowel condition that didn’t happen. I bought some Imodium on Amazon to be here today (Monday) so we could Skype tonight.

Then tonight I sent him a few messages, about my Imodium arriving so I’m ready to Skype tonight, and another to ask if he was still ok to Skype. No reply. Nothing. Not even to tell me that he was busy. I would have understood, and rescheduled it for another night.

But instead I was left waiting around. I waited until half 12. I had been waiting since half 10 at night. I realised he wasn’t going to make a show so I just turned off my game, put my IPad away and went to bed.

I’m now up again at 2 am because of no doubt stress and depression. And also because even though I take Imodium that barely works. Even though I didn’t even hardly eat today. But because of stress my stomach starts up. So thanks “friend” for making my stomach worse.

I can’t take anymore, I really can’t. I don’t know what I did. I must have done something to him. He could have at least told me he was busy, like I said I would have understood and rescheduled.

So now I only have 1 friend left, and wondering how long until she leaves…. Knew something would happen before my birthday. It happens every year. After this year I’m not having a birthday. It will definitely be cancelled. I can’t do that this year because my mums already spent money on birthday things, so I don’t want to waste her money.

I don’t know what to do anymore. Just lost. It’s like being back at school when everyone dropped me because I got kicked out of school due to being bullied a lot. Maybe I am just better off alone. Maybe this is a sign and it’s telling me that I should just be alone and that I’m meant to be alone.

#my thoughts #mental health #my vents #spotify #vent account #chronic illness #im a loser #my life is a disaster #this life fucking sucks #aesthetic #fake friends #fake people #pathetic loser #forever alone #meant to be alone #crying #lost #can’t do this anymore

[buckyownsmylife]

Follow you - Chris Evans smut

The one where Chris becomes your roomate and finds out he has a domesticity kink... and more

Warnings: Smut, breeding kink, domesticity kink, friends to lovers, rommates au, pandemic mention, hair-pulling kink, daddy kink, cockwarming, kind of allusion to an age gap, but can be read as reader being into teasing chris

Word count: 4.1k

A/N: Thanks to @mollygetssherlockcoffee​ for reading this over and helping me make it better! You’re the sweetest person ever!  this is for my own birthday celebration challenge! Like I explained here, I’m going to try to fill every single AU I listed with the characters I picked for the challenge, and since the deadline if May 27, these fics will be posted randomly, as I finish them. Hope you guys like it!

Chris’ P.O.V.

“C’mon, sweetheart,” I’d been trying to convince her to close her laptop for the last two hours, unfortunately without any luck. She just glanced at me before returning to her document, and I groaned as I left the living room in search of what I knew we needed.

“Close the laptop and I’ll give you a sip.” This time when she looked up, she found me holding a bottle of my most expensive whiskey, the one she’d been dying to try ever since she first got invited to my place.

It was a tense moment of evaluation while she took in my offer and her workload, her head turning from her computer to me and then back to the device again, and I found himself growing anxious because of how desperately I wanted her company that night.

“Please?” I tried to convince her, even going so far as to pout - which at least earned me a giggle. I considered it a win, especially with the way it made my chest warm up. “C’mon, we deserve it! After the week we had?”

She frowned when she thought back on the stresses we had confided in each other for the last couple of days, and I watched with glee when she slowly closed her laptop, prompting me to wave my arms around in victory. “We?” She teased, getting up to stand before me with her arms crossed in front of her body, making me laugh.

“Alright, so maybe just you.” I couldn’t really deny that my work “problems” paled in comparison to hers. “Listen, I’m only trying to help.” She narrowed her eyes at me, reaching out for the bottle and unscrewing it before taking the sip I’d promised.

“Shit, this really is good.” A smug smile took over my face as I wrapped my arms around her, walking us back to the couch before making us fall over it.

“Only the best for you, babe.” I watched her roll her eyes at the pet name, snickering at how it affected her. I knew it made her giddy and she hated it, it’s why I insisted on doing it - or so I told myself.

Something deep inside of me whispered differently, though. I tried to ignore it. She was my best friend and we were going to be living together for the foreseeable future. No one knew when this pandemic would let up.

And lord knows that nothing positive had ever come out of my investments in romantic relationships. So every rational thought in my mind was begging me not to overcomplicate this. I couldn’t stand to lose her friendship, anyway. That’s why I had invited her to spend lockdown with me - my need to know she was okay, and be able to have her around whenever I needed to vent.

She was the only one outside my family who got my anxiety well enough to help me work through it when I was feeling bad, and she had even been able to prevent me from having panic attacks more than once.

I just couldn’t imagine going through this with anyone other than her. I simply hadn’t anticipated how fucking horny this period of forced sexual privation would make me, and I never expected her to become a willing victim to my needs.

But boy, once the liquor hit and she ended up over my lap, shivering as she rode my thigh without a care in the world, was I glad that she did.

“Is this what you like?” I asked, looking up at her with my mouth hanging open, unbelieving of how fucking sexy she looked as she used my body for her pleasure. I didn’t even care that my cock was straining against my jeans, begging me to move her on top of it. As long as I could keep enjoying the show, being a part of it, I was satisfied.

“I wanna learn it,” I pressed, moving my hands to hold her ass, squeezing it the way I’d always wanted to do but never allowed myself to dream about. “I wanna learn how to please you.” She made me feel something I hadn’t felt before, in any of my past relationships. There was attraction, of course, but there was also this deep, familiar feeling that made me feel at home. It made me feel safe, and with the help of alcohol, I was desperate to explore it.

“Ugh,” she groaned, letting her head fall back, drawing my attention to her breasts, the way they bounced in front of my eyes, unfortunately still covered. My mouth watered at the sight of it, wanting nothing much than to strip her bare and wrap my lips around one of her nipples.

“Don’t say stuff like that, Evans.” The comment threw me off, making me frown as I took a hold of the hair on the back of her head and yanked her to me, devouring her lips. They were soft - so much softer than I’d ever allowed myself to imagine.

“Why not?” I panted against her mouth once I was forced to separate from her taste of whiskey to search for some oxygen. She kept moving, her eyes hazy and glossed over, and it sent a pang of lust straight down my body when I realized it wasn’t completely due to the drinks we shared. There was also desire in there.

“You want to learn?” She asked, hands bunching up my shirt as she used her hold to grind against me faster. “Then fuck me, Chris.” She molded her body to mine, engulfing my lips once more as I laid her down on the couch, excited to have her underneath me - excited to see her naked body, explore it, get to know every little thing that made her tick.

I knew it would be a moment I’d forever remember, regardless of the amount of bourbon in my blood. I just never expected it to become something I was so eager to relive over and over and over again.

It was supposed to be a one time thing. When I woke up in the morning, I was ready to go back to being roommates. We were good at that. She was a morning person, by the time I woke up every morning, she already had breakfast ready for me, and then we’d go out to the backyard to let Dodger out together.

We’d sit and talk and then I’d go for a run - she’d have done her yoga already, while I was still asleep - I’d answer some e-mails, she’d work on her laptop by my side and the silence was just as comfortable as all of our late night conversations.

She’d sneak out to the kitchen and come back with a few sandwiches for our lunch, and then the rest of the day would go by with us doing whatever mundane task we had in mind, together even if we were doing separate things, and I didn’t feel suffocated.

I didn’t even run out of things to say. By the time dinner rolled around and I followed her back to the kitchen, cleaning up the dishes while she fixed us dinner - I wasn’t allowed to cook in my own stove, mostly because she was terrified of my food but hid it under the excuse of that one time when I started a fire - then we’d eat together, watch a movie together, talk until we fell asleep - always together.

I was shocked. It’d never been this way in any of my previous relationships. In fact, I was certain it was the reason why they had never worked. I’d given up on any realistic expectation of settling down precisely because of this: I just never expected to find anyone with whom a day-to-day life wouldn’t eventually grow boring.

It’d been three months and I still loved to wake up to her coffee. We still fell asleep every night side by side, too tired to move into different beds because we had laughed our asses off after skyping Scott.

And now that sex came into play in our relationship? I just knew there was no way I’d ever go back to being nothing but friends - or living in a place where she wasn’t the first person I saw when I woke up.

It sucked that it took a pandemic and a night of alcohol to make me realize that, but damn, was I grateful that I decided to open a bottle of whiskey that evening.

I kept waiting for the catch, the moment it would all go to shit, but it never came. Our lives resumed to how they used to be, only now I had this ongoing inner battle to not just bend her over the nearest piece of furniture when we were busy, and the ability to do exactly that whenever there was nothing else to do.

And for a while it was bliss. There wasn’t a nagging voice inside my head questioning this arrangement because it was theoretically perfect. I had a best friend, a roommate and a fuck buddy, all wrapped into one single person that I adored.

Life couldn’t possibly get better - until I realized that I wanted more. Talks of lockdown being over started and she had plans of going back to her place, of course, but I couldn’t stand the thought of being away from her.

I wanted to see my family too, but I wanted to take her with me. Introduce her to my mom, see her get along with my sisters. Witness how she’d be with my nephews and nieces - I knew how much she loved kids. And that’s when it hit me.

I’d given my heart to her. Somewhere between the morning coffees and afternoon runs, the nights where I’d rant about all of my silly problems and she actually listened to them - really listened, never making me feel bad about what could only be described as rich people problems.

All the innocent little gestures, and the not so innocent ones - when I discovered she was exactly the nasty slut I’d always dreamed of, the way she would randomly drop to her knees and suck me off, even while I was on the phone. Most times she didn’t even let me repay the favor. She just genuinely liked to blow me.

She also liked to play with me randomly, like when we were watching a movie and she mindlessly reached for my crotch, rubbing me until I got hard. It almost always ended in sex, and I just loved it.

I loved it, and I loved her, and the idea of her ever sharing this idyllic lifestyle with anyone else made me irrationally jealous.

And that’s how I knew it. I didn’t want to mess it up. But how could I not fuck this up?

Xxx

“Chris…” Her sweet voice called out to me, reaching my ears while I was hiding in my office, trying to get my thoughts in order so I wouldn’t just randomly blurt out what I was feeling for my best friend to my best friend.

To her credit, she didn’t try to force me to keep her company - but that only made me fall even deeper for her, leaving me a complete and utter mess while she went about her day as if nothing was wrong in the world.

“Yes?” I looked up to see her by the threshold, clearly reticent about invading my privacy. It made me smile, thinking back on all of the times my exes hadn’t been as understanding, even after I let them clearly know what I was needing.

“I made cupcakes, do you want me to bring you one?” The thought of her in the kitchen, baking a sweet treat just for me had my cock twitching in my pants. Biting my lips, I pushed away from my desk to finally get up and stretch my legs, taking advantage of the monitor to hide my hard-on.

“No, I’ll come eat them downstairs with you.” She smiled before leaving, and I soon trailed after her, walking into the kitchen to find the most delicious-looking little treats, just waiting to be devoured.

Much like her, I supposed.

I was reaching for one of them, already licking my lips in anticipation when something caught my eye, prompting me to raise my gaze and look at her again, but really look at her this time.

She was wearing an apron.

There was nothing inherently sexual about the damn thing, but the way she looked with it, going about her business in my kitchen like she owned the place… It just felt right, seeing her there.

And suddenly I couldn’t hold back anymore.

“Y/N…” I started, leaving the cupcake back on the counter and brushing off the crumbs as I circled the kitchen island to go stand in front of her. She hummed before turning to meet me, smiling slightly to signal that she was listening to what I had to say.

But I didn’t know how to say it. So we just stood there, staring at each other until eventually her smile became a frown. “Chris, what’s going on?” I still couldn’t speak. Much to my absolute surprise though, she just sighed, wiping her hands on the apron while shaking her head, a knowing smile on her face.

“You’re stressed, aren’t you? You’ve been working so much, that’s why I thought the cupcakes would be a good idea,” she explained nodding towards the tray where her sweet treats laid. “They’re a reward and a break all wrapped in one delicious cake.”

The comment was like a punch to the stomach - or a scalding wave of desire rushing through my body, straight to my groin. The idea of her thinking about my needs and catering (quite literally) to them just did something to me, and I didn’t know how to explain it - I don’t think I understood it myself.

“But since they didn’t work…” she continued, blissfully unaware of the conundrum she had put me into. “I know something else that will definitely work.” And just like that, the woman dropped to her knees in front of me, reaching for my sweatpants before I could find a way to close the mouth that was hanging open.

“I guess I’ll grab a sweet treat for myself.” She looked so devious, small hand encircling my already pathetically engorged member, that all I could do was whisper an, “Oh, shit,” when she immediately wrapped her lips around it,  starting to suck me off without any preamble.

My fingers were white as I held onto the counter behind me to keep myself up. She looked so good, staring up at me with her lips wrapped around my dick, I felt like I was about to blow already.

Why did she have to be such a fucking tease?

“Oh, God,” I moaned when she managed to engulf the entirety of my member inside her throat, the choking noises getting to my head. My hand instinctively laced with her hair, first to hold her lips close to my navel, then to pry her completely off of my member.

“What’s wrong?” She questioned once she was able to speak, surprise written all over her features while I was still staring down at her slightly teary face and trying to find my voice.

“I-I have a problem.” There. I said it. I had finally made some progress in my goal to let her know what was going through my head. Only instead of curiosity, what I got was a confused expression from the woman still holding my dick, her eyes darting from my own to the member throbbing between her fingers.

“No, you don’t!” It would have been funny if I wasn’t so fucking frustrated. Yanking her by the hair, I complained, “Not that kind of problem!” pulling her to the living room so I could throw her on the couch, trying to ignore her moans of pleasure in the process.

I’d figured out pretty early on that she had a pretty serious hair-pulling kink, and if my plans of sitting down and having a level-headed conversation were ever in motion, they surely went out of the window the second she pulled my body down to cover hers and adjusted my cock so it would easily fill her.

“Son of a…” I groaned, letting my head fall down against her chest as the little vixen gleefully giggled underneath me, legs wrapped around my torso as she tried to thrust up and tempt me to move.

“Just wait a second,” I managed to reason, but she just shook her head.

“Fuck away your problem, Chris. Use me. I want you to.” Motherfucker. I really couldn’t catch a break with her. Just as she started to make me move again, my hand instinctively wrapped around her neck, lightly squeezing it just enough to get her to shut up.

“I wanna start a family with you,” I finally spilled, looking deep into her eyes as I tried to ignore that I was still balls deep inside of her. Her eyes widened, and now her mouth was the one hanging open.

I couldn’t really relish in it because she looked absolutely delicious and she felt stupidly heavenly to my throbbing dick.

A few seconds went by without as much of a reaction from her and I was about to pull out - despite still being achingly hard - but her legs held me tighter, stopping my plans of leaving her tight haven.

“You know…” She started to speak, a little out of breath, catching my attention as I finally gathered the courage to look her in the eye again. “When I first met you, I thought you were the epitome of a fuckboy.”

The unexpected sentence had me snorting, and then I just couldn’t stop laughing. Finally pulling away from her, she fixed her hair when she sat up and I did the same, shaking my head slightly as I rubbed my eyes.

Our own relative nakedness - well… mine, she was wearing her usual dress with no underwear under the damn apron - didn’t affect anything when I pondered over her words, until I decided to break the silence.

“I mean… I think I was?” She chewed on her bottom lip as she took in my response, analyzing it, weighing its validity in that gorgeous head of hers. I was nervous, but she hadn’t blew me off yet. And quite honestly? I’d do anything for that little hope that was growing inside of me.

“What changed?” Was her question, so unexpected I couldn’t help but question, “Huh?”

“What made you change?” It wasn’t an unwelcome inquiry, especially when the response became clear to me, lighting up my brain and warming my chest, spreading all over my body until I had no choice but to voice it.

“I realized I could have a future with you.” My smile was vulnerable but honest, and in her eyes, I could see that she knew that. When she threw one leg over my lap, straddling my hips, I allowed myself to breathe deeply again, leaning on the soft cushion while taking a hold of her ass.

“So, how are we gonna do this?” She non-nonchalantly asked, slowly rubbing herself against my still half-hard member. I groaned when I realized the implication of her words, knowing that the meaning paired with the feeling of her wet lips dragging along my cock would get it back up in no time at all. “You wanna do me right now?”

The brashness of the question made my eyes light up, as weird as it may sound. In that moment, it became clear just how perfect for me she really was, giving me what I needed exactly in the way I didn’t know how to ask for it.

“See? This is why I’m in love with you.” She rolled her eyes at that, making me laugh. I’d anticipated the gesture, I knew it’d take her longer to say it, but it was alright. The fact that she was willing me to give me a child was more than enough proof of her feelings for me, if her entire behavior ever since she moved in wasn’t already.

“Shut up and fuck me, Evans.” Throwing her back against the couch, she yelped in surprise when I took off my shirt and slapped the inside of her thigh, assuming my usual position of hovering over her smaller frame.

“Spread your fucking legs, darling. I’m gonna fuck you real good.” The way she bit her lip as I slowly penetrated her again showed me just how excited the prospect got her, and as I started to make good on my promise, her moans told me just as much.

“Holy fuck,” she commented as I pounded her ruthlessly, weeks of frustration and the rush of anticipation getting the best of me, and I was glad for the feeling of her nails biting into my skin because otherwise, I’d probably run over the edge of not even caring about her own pleasure as I chased mine.

“You gonna cum inside of me, honey? Make me a mom? Finally fulfill your dream of becoming a daddy?” Her words detracted me from my task of sucking bruises on the skin that was now mine to bruise, mine. I threw my head back, yelling a, “fuck yes,” as my hips sped up, desperate to fill her up, but I was determined to get her to cum before me.

“Say it,” she ordered, small hand circling my throat as best as she could, a throwback to what I’d done only moments prior. It wasn’t enough to choke me, but it did catch my attention. “I wanna hear you say it.”

Tears escaped the corners of my eyes as I blinked, the intensity of the moment overwhelming in the best of ways. “God, you are such a fucking tease…” She chuckled underneath me, giving my throat a squeeze before she raised up on her elbows to kiss my jaw.

“Better get used to it… daddy.” And just like that, I realized that I had yet another kink I hadn’t known about before her. Or maybe it was just her, and I was obsessed with the damn woman, painfully turned on by every little thing that she did.

“I’m gonna cum deep inside your little pussy, sweetheart,” I finally gathered myself enough to do as she asked me to. “You’re gonna belong to me forever now. Give me kids, make me happy. How do you like that?”

The mischievous grin she gave me told me everything. “I love it.” I knew this was her way of saying what she couldn’t yet voice, and I’d take it. I’d take anything she gave me, any chance I got to love this wonderful woman.

We came together, both riding our highs in deep ecstasy. I moaned when I felt myself empty all of my seed inside of her, incredibly excited about the prospect of starting our future together right then.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” I cradled her face in my hands as I struggled to catch my breath, but she turned it to the side and pressed a kiss to my palm and I was breathless all over again. It was such a simple action, why did it get to me so much?

“You’re not too bad yourself, Chris.” I didn’t want to part with her warmth, so I just adjusted us on the sofa in a way that kept me inside of her, sighing contently as I realized I’d never have to sleep away from her again.

“I’m gonna stay right here all night.” I adjusted myself so I was resting my face on her boobs, perfectly happy to do just so, but by the tone of her voice, I knew she had a teasing smile when she called me an, “Old man.”

“And here I was, thinking you’d be able to go again.” Warmth filled my chest at the realization of just how badly she wanted me - just as much as I wanted her too. I was so damn ecstatic. Not even her pokes at my age would be able to affect me.

“Oh, darling… better get ready,” I warned as I adjusted myself to hover over her again, taking notice of the excited glint in her eyes, the way she bit her lip as she stared back at me. “I’m never gonna get enough of you.”

The next morning, I added a new kink to the list of random bits of information that were driving me slowly insane as I felt the overwhelming need to bend the woman that I now got to call ‘mine’ over the nearest piece of furniture and rail her until I had cummed deep inside her pussy: seeing her in my shirt while cooking breakfast.

Yeah, I was going to live a happy life by her side.

#my 2k challenge #chris evans smut #my fics #chris evans #smut #roommates au #friends to lovers #chris evans x reader #chris evans reader #chris evans reader insert #chris evans reader inserts #RPF #chris evans fanfiction

[queenshelby]

My Friend’s Father (Part Nine)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Age Gap, Smut, Domestic Violence, Angst

Words: 3,064

Please comment and interact...it's what keeps this blog going

***************************

Almost a week had passed since you stayed with Cillian at his unit in Galway and, despite the fact that he was away, things had further developed between you as emotions grew with every day.

He was different to any man you had ever been involved with and, whilst your involvement with each other stemmed from purely sexual lust and hunger, you had evolved from this to something different entirely within a matter of days.

Of course, you knew each other for years and, whilst you had a crush on Cillian for as long as you could remember, you never thought that it would be like this and, for Cillian, this feeling had never been mutual.

Whilst he always considered you to be attractive and very intelligent and kind, he never felt any emotional connection or sexual attraction towards you, at least not until that weekend when you visited Denise, which was also the first time he saw you again after six months had passed.

On that night during which you slept with each other, he let his sexual hunger take over his reasonable thinking mind after he saw you, in his kitchen, making pancakes and you had since, quite openly, talked about it. He saw sleeping with you as a mistake but, ever since that night, he couldn’t get you out of his head.

For you, things weren’t just sexual anymore and you began to feel strongly for Cillian which worried you especially since he was open about the fact that he didn’t know where things were heading with you. The fact that you are his daughter’s friend and much younger than him clearly bothered him and he sometimes admitted to you that he felt strange about building such a strong connection with you. A relationship was not what he wanted but he liked you, a lot.

As such, during the past week, Cillian called you every day after he finished filming and you were talking to him more frequently than you were talking to Denise.

During his breaks, he would also text you and check in on you as you were in the middle of exams. He always remembered when you had a test and asked you how it went and, when you told him that you didn’t feel confident with your results, he reassured you that you probably did well and, even if you didn’t, it wouldn’t matter. According to him, a pass is a pass and you needed to lower your expectations of yourself just a little.

To your surprise, he also remembered appointments you had scheduled and things that bothered you which meant that, unlike other men you had been with, he was actually listening and was interested in what you had to say.

Some nights, you had spent hours on the phone or Skype, joking about things you had encountered that day or talking about books, literature and music, which is something you both enjoyed.

Politics and social issues were other matters you could discuss endlessly and, even when you were of different opinions, you would be able to argue in the most satisfying way. Cillian always treated you as an equal and even opened up to you about his divorce from Denise’s mother recently.

Another thing you learned from Cillian was that Denise was brining along her friend Amalie to Manchester to stay at his apartment and, when you gave him a warning about her and her intentions, he reminded you that he only had eyes for you. In fact, he always showered you with compliments and all of his compliments were genuine and came natural to him, helping you immensely with your self-consciousness.

Unfortunately, whilst you enjoyed how engaging Cillian was with you every day, like a teenager in love, with the constant text messages and calls, your father soon got suspicious and confronted you about.

****

“Dad, I am almost 22, you don’t need to be spying on me” you said somewhat frustrated as he asked you who you were talking to every day.

“You live under my roof and you answer me young lady” he said harshly and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes just as your mother stepped in, trying to calm him down. Your father was much older, approaching sixty and fairly old school in the way he expected you and your sister to behave.

“A friend…I am talking to a friend” you explained and your father asked again, telling you not to lie to him because he would know.

“And this friend of yours, you can’t meet him…you just text and talk? You can’t bring him to our house and introduce him?” your father asked along with a million other questions.

“No, I can’t. he lives in Dublin and I, most certainly, wouldn’t bring him into this…” you said somewhat irritated by the interrogation.

“Dublin, huh? So, you met him when you visited Denise?” he asked and you nodded.

“It’s not her brother, is it? Because I really don’t want you to get involved with him. I don’t like this family and their views” your father said harshly, causing you to chuckle.

“Their views?” you asked somewhat surprised and your father nodded.

“Yes, their views on what’s right and wrong. If I recall correctly, this girl you call your friend was going out with someone of the same gender for a while. God didn’t tell us to do this but her parents obviously didn’t have an issue with it which, apparently is called new age parenting. Everything is pro choice and lets their children decide what is best for them even if they lack experience” your father went on to say and you couldn’t help but shake your head at his absurd commentary but, he continued and you soon learned what had happened between your parents and Denise’s parents many years ago, before which your mother had called Denise’s mother her friend as well.

According to your father, Cillian had voiced his opinion to your father when it was found out that your sister was pregnant following a short affair with a man she had met through university.

Cillian’s ex wife had told your sister that she had options, causing your father to get rather angry with her, which is when Cillian stepped in, supporting what Denise’s mother had said.

She had offered your sister help but your father considered this to be a betrayal and, whilst your mother maintained contact with Denise’s mother for a while, your father refused to get involved with Denise’s family thereafter.

Cillian’s often all so public views angered him and he made this very clear. He didn’t want you to be involved with his children and you couldn’t help but laugh about the irony of it all when you found out about this incident.

“Jesus Dad, that was years ago and not everyone has to have the same views as you” you said before confirming that you weren’t seeing Denise’s brother.

“No, they don’t, but I am just looking out for you and, instead of acting the way you do, throwing yourself at guys with new age ideas, I would much prefer if you met a nice young catholic man” your father explained, causing your mother to fume in anger with him.

“Throwing myself at guys? Listen, I am not sure what slut you think I am but it’s nice to know that you think so little of me” you said before storming upstairs and into your room.

Having to deal with this crap bothered you and you knew that, when this semester came to an end, you could be moving out now that you saved enough money for a bond and rent.

*****

As the evening went on, you spent all of your time in your room, reading a book until, finally, at around 9 o’clock you saw a notification on Skype.

‘Hey Beautiful’ Cillian said as you picked up and popped in your headphones.

Cillian apologised for calling through so late and informed you that he was finally able to speak to Laura, the woman he was seeing before you.

He knew that you wanted to know about it and he had no problem telling you what you needed to hear while telling you that you had absolutely nothing to worry about.

It was Laura’s first day back on set after a week-long break and Cillian told you that she wasn’t exactly impressed when he stood her down.

‘She probably likes you…I can understand that’ you said calmly but Cillian told you that he was pretty clear with her about what this was between them.

‘Well, in retrospect, I shouldn’t have gotten involved with her’ he went on and you were quite happy to change the topic by this point and told him that you were aching for him.

‘Well, I am not sure that I can help you with that’ Cillian chuckled.

‘We could have Skype sex I suppose’ you giggled.

‘Skype Sex?’ Cillian laughed before telling you that he didn’t think that this would be a good idea since you were at home with your parents and you had previously complained about the thin walls of the house.

‘Oh Jesus Cillian, my father already thinks I am a slut, so I personally don’t care if anyone hears me getting myself off. I’ve got my earphones in and am the only one who can hear you and my door is locked’ you chuckled.

‘Your father thinks that you are a slut? Do you want to talk about that?’ Cillian asked concerned but you shook your head.

‘I rather not. You met him and know what he is like’ you explained.

‘I do. He takes God very seriously’ Cillian said before continuing on. ‘But, if you have problems at home you need to tell me please. You can stay at my apartment. I can get my house keeper to meet you there with the key’ he offered.

‘You said you were going to stay out of stuff between me and my parents just as I would stay out of matters between you and Denise’ you then said, reminding him on the conversation about your respective roles which you had three days ago.

‘Yes I did, but I can’t if I have to worry about you’ Cillian said firmly.

‘There is no need to worry Cillian. I promise’ you reassured him. ‘Well, actually, I need you to worry about my sexual needs right now’ you then went on to say with sly grin.

‘Through Skype?’ Cillian asked again somewhat concerned.

‘Yes’ you said with a cheeky smile as you settled more into your bed with your laptop.

‘Alright then, show me what you are wearing” Cillian said as he cut straight to the point.

‘Can you see?’ you asked as you adjusted the cam and showed Cillian your dark blue lingerie.

‘Very nice…but…I think you would look even better if you were naked, don’t you think?’ Cillian said somewhat nervously and you nodded in agreement.

‘Well, I suppose I should strip for you and you should strip for me’ you giggled as you seductively took off your bra slowly, showing Cillian your perky breasts through the camera.

You heard him inhale sharply as he watched you and took his t-shirt off at the same time, leaving him in nothing but his CK briefs.

Without words you then scooted back on the bed and removed your undies, allowing him to watch before you sat down on the bed, spread eagle and naked, giving him a good view of your mound.

‘Jesus Y/N, you are so fucking beautiful and sexy…touch yourself for me, nice and slow’ Cillian breathed out and you let his soothing voice wash over you, knowing what he was trying to do and happily helping him succeed.

‘Like this?’ you moaned as you began to run circles over your clit with your fingers.

‘Yes, just like that babe’ Cillian groaned as he shuffled down his briefs and you were finally getting a good look of his hard cock.

‘Oh god, I want to stroke your cock so badly’ you moaned as you seductively opened your pussy lips with your fingers, opening yourself up before reaching for the black vibrator you kept in your bedside table.

‘Well, someone's particularly horny tonight’ Cillian chuckled as he watched you play with your pussy, and you could hear the smirk in his voice.

You mumbled a small "mhm," and he laughed.

‘Good, that's exactly how I like you, so naughty and needy’ Cillian said as he slowly began to stroke his hard member.

You barely registered his words enough to answer with another "mhm," but your subconscious managed it. Your weak answer elicited another delicious chuckle from the other end of the line.

"Why don't you show me how this little toy of yours works?” Cillian then asked as he watched you eagerly.

“I was just waiting for you to ask” you giggled as you began to run your fingers along your stomach and back up to your chest, leaving a trail of goosebumps their wake before reaching for the vibrator and turning it on.

“Put into your sweet pussy babe, let me see it” Cillian groaned and you moan in response, barely processing his words but still understanding enough to answer and do what he asked.

"I bet your pussy is already dripping” he said as you slid the vibrator into you slowly. He was right, you could feel your wetness pooling.

“I am so fucking wet and I wish it would be your cock inside me” you moaned as you began to stroke the toy in and out of you.

Cillian was groaning on the other side, his eyes full of lust and desire for you and you let out a quiet moan as you watched him with the same desire and hunger while you were pleasuring yourself.

“Good girl, keep going…” Cillian tells you and you moan again hearing it.

“Tell me how much you are aching for my cock” he then said you moaned again.

“I want your cock so badly, fuck…I want your cum inside me, dripping out of my wet little pussy” you moaned, eliciting a groan from Cillian as he began to stroke his cock harder and faster.

“Such a naughty needy girl, aren’t you? I can’t wait to be inside you again and make you cum over and over again” Cillian said with a laboured breath and you are barely listening at this point.

“I want you to cum for me and show me this dripping pussy when you do…I fucking love hearing your moans, so fucking sexy…common babe….let go” Cillian said, knowing that you were close and your orgasm rolled over you as soon as the word 'cum' left his lips, and although your sensitive clit was screaming at your hand to stop, you couldn't.

‘Oh god fuck, yes…’ you moaned as you came hard and fast.

“That’s it babe, don’t stop” he instructed as your moans continuously spilled from your mouth, and you were not even sure what you were saying or if you were forming words at all. The only thing in your head is a deliciously heavy fog and Cillian’s voice guiding you to do what he wanted.

“Don’t stop, keep fucking your sweet little pussy babe” Cillian ordered as he knew you weren’t done and, just as he did, you let out a high-pitched moan, bordering on a scream, as an even stronger orgasm washed over your body.

‘Cum for me babe…I want to see all this cum’ you moaned in return, focusing on the delicious image in front of you as Cillian was stroking his cock and, just when you finally come back down you heard Cillian groan loudly.

“Fuck” he groaned as he stroked his cock hard and fast you watched rope after rope of cum spurt onto his stomach.

‘Oh god, what a waste, I want to lick your cum off your skin so badly” you breathed out as Cillian came down from his high slowly and used a tissue to clean himself up.

‘Stop saying those things or you have to stay on the line for another twenty minutes at least’ Cillian chuckled as he could feel his manhood stir again.

‘Well, I think you shouldn’t cum again until you come to visit me in Galway the weekend after next…I want you to save it all for me’ you said, causing Cillian to cock an eyebrow as he pulled his briefs back up.

‘Fat chance babe’ he chuckled, knowing that going without an orgasm for nine days would be rather difficult for him.

Eventually, after a lot of begging, he agreed to try but he wouldn’t be able to make you any promises to this effect.

***

The following day, you went to work and then university thereafter but, when you eventually returned home, your father was in a worse mood than ever before.

‘Can you explain this to me?’ he asked angrily as soon as you walked through the door and you couldn’t help but gulp when he pointed to a white box which he had placed on the living room table.

‘You went through my personal belongings’ you huffed out as the box contained some lingerie and intimate items, including toys, that you were hiding in the bottom of your dresser.

‘Again Y/N, this is my house, my rules and I don’t want my daughter to own filth like this’ he said, after having heard small pieces of your conversation with Cillian on Skype the evening before.

It was obvious to you that your father was appalled and you were outraged that he had been snooping through your room and, as you would later learn, had even tried to access your computer.

‘I can’t fucking believe you dad. These are my personal belongings and you have no right to go through them’ you huffed out and, just as you did, you could feel a sharp strike across your face.

‘Get this shit out of my house and talk to me with some respect’ he said harshly, leaving you speechless and in tears as he walked away, leaving your cheek burning red.

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#cillian murphy #cillian murphy smut #Cillian Murphy x Reader #cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy x y/n #cillian murphy x you

[jmnjmnjmn]

Your Noona | Requested Idol!JK x NonIdol/Noona!Reader | Fluffy Oneshot

Pairing: Idol!Jungkook x NonIdol/Noona!Reader

Sides: ChildhoodFriend!Taehyung, Friends!BTS

Keywords: noona, age gap, secret crush, f2l

Warnings: swearing

Word count: around 5,500

There is mention of a house warming party. In Korea it is somewhat traditional to bring over toilet paper and cleaning supplies when going to such gathering, so please don’t be surprised when YN talks about the stacks of tp in her apartment xd

Request

Inspo board

Masterlist

Noona

Noona is a word used by Korean males to address females older than them who they are close to (biological or not).

-

With her leather handbag full of gifts and trinkets from France weighing on her shoulder, YN pressed the elevator button. She waited in front of the heavy steel door, staring at the bright red light-up sign above it.

“10, 9, 8.” She counted in her head as the numbers went down signalling the coming of the elevator. “7, 6, 5.” She sighed, unable to brush off the tiredness caused by the jetlag. “4, 3, 2, 1.” The door slid open with a quiet bell sound. YN hesitated before pressing in the correct number. “Was it 6th or 7th?” She whispered to herself, cursing at her forgetfulness. She ended up pressing both numbers.

Looking into the mirrored back wall of the elevator she checked herself out, making sure there were no imperfections in her outfit, hair, or makeup. Her camel-coloured coat reached right to her knees, leaving just the right amount of leg out to look cute, but not feel too cold in the winter’s cold weather. She unbuttoned the outer garment to take a look at the light brown mini skirt and blazer combo she wore today. Paired with an ecru blouse, nude tights, and white leather sneakers she looked rather casual than smart.

A robotic female voice announced the elevator’s arrival on the sixth floor of the building. YN looked out the door, unsure if that was where her best friend had his studio. She stepped out onto the somewhat familiar corridor, looking around for anyone to ask for directions. She walked down the long hallway, white lights above her head, unmarked doors to either side of her, unrecognizable chatter behind most of them.

“Where are you Kim Taaehyung?” She muttered under her breath, simultaneously reaching into the pocket of her coat to fish out her cellphone. “Tae-hyung-ie.” She syllabized while typing in her best friend’s name into her contacts. She raised the device to her ear right after starting the call. “Pick up, pick up, pick up.” She whispered quickly, hoping she didn’t drive out here for no reason. The static beeping noise was abruptly broken and replaced with the familiar low voice of a boy she knew since kindergarten.

“YN noona?” Taehyung asked and his surprised tone echoed through both of YN’s ears. She looked around, taken aback by the weird stereo effect she was experiencing. She turned to look behind her and saw one of the doors she passed by opening.

“Taehyung-ie, are you at your studio?” She asked, skipping over any greetings.

“Y- yes, why?” He answered her with another question. He wasn’t expecting her call and had to excuse himself from dance practice to pick up.

“Taehyung-ie!” YN exclaimed, seeing him walk out from behind the opening door and onto the bland corridor.

“Noona?!” Taehyung yelled into the phone making her wince at the incredible volume of his voice. “Oh my god!” He discarded his phone into the back pocket of his jeans before running up to and engulfing her in a suffocating hug. “YN noona!”

“Ah, seriously?” YN gasped out the bits of air that he didn’t manage to squeeze out of her lungs with his strong embrace. “Let go of me.” She groaned, pushing him away playfully. He had the sweetest boxy smile on his face and her expression wasn’t too far off of his.

“When did you come back?” He ran his hand through his black hair. It was still slightly curly with remains of the perm he got a couple of weeks back.

“Last night, you crazy person.” She chuckled, punching his arm and he squirmed jokingly.

“Ah, noona.” He sighed, his eyes dreamy with all the happiness he was experiencing at this moment. Spontaneously he threw his arm around her shoulders, bringing her into a side hug. “I missed you.” YN felt her heart growing warmer with every second.

“I missed you too, Taehyung.” She admitted without hesitation earning a giggle from her friend.

“Why are you here?” He asked after a moment, realizing she should be thousands of kilometres away, working in her company’s European branch. “I mean- I thought you weren’t coming back until next Chuseok.” He corrected himself not to sound rude.

“Yeah, well I got bored of Paris.” She shrugged, unconvincingly since there was a mischievous grin plastered across her face.

“Bored? Of Paris? You?” He cocked his eyebrow at her, knowing she’s withholding some juicy piece of information from him.

“I just missed Korea too much to stay away for any longer.” She looked up at him with that same grin.

“Yeah, right.” He scoffed.

“And…” She elongated the word as she slipped from under his arm and stopped to stand face to face with him. “I got a promotion!” She finally exclaimed, grabbing his hands in hers.

“Congratulations!” He screamed out, matching her excited pitch.

“Thank you!” They jumped up and down, tugging on each other’s hands for a moment longer before Taehyung stopped to ask an obvious question.

“So who are you now?” YN smiled, happy to hear him ask about her new position.

“Say ‘hello’ to Y/Company’s/N’s youngest C.A.O..” She said in a jokingly seductive tone, smiling brightly. 

“What is that?” Taehyung scrunched his eyebrows in a frown. YN exhaled a chuckle at his lack of knowledge about company titles.

“God, it’s- it’s Chief Administrative Officer.” She explained but seeing his expression stay the same as it was she decided to go deeper into the description of the post. “It means I’m a top-tier executive who supervises daily operations of the company and I’m also responsible for its overall performance.”

“That’s good.” He nodded unsure if it was good.

“Hell yeah, it is!” YN laughed, wrapping her arm around his shoulders with some struggle since he was now taller than she was.

“Does that mean you’re moving back to Korea?” He looked at her with hope, but she didn’t notice as her gaze was directed forward.

“Yeah, at least for a couple of years.” Taehyung shoved her arm off of himself in shock.

“A couple of- that’s great, YN!” He pushed his chest against her face when he suddenly hugged her tightly. “I’m so happy for you!” He screamed, rocking them both side to side.

“Thank you!” She snaked her arms around his waist before pushing away. She was usually the one breaking hugs and ending sad goodbye’s because if it was up to Taehyung she would never leave his side. “I’m also so very happy, but still, a little bummed I had to leave my Parisian life behind.” She whined slightly, looking down onto her fumbling hands.

“Ah, but now you’ll start your Seoul life again.” Taehyung spoke in a tone of a visionary. He put his arm behind her back and used the other to drag over the imaginary horizon. “With me by your side, it won’t be that bad.” He added quickly.

“Won’t be bad at all.” She chuckled, putting an elbow to his side.

“That’s what I like to hear!” He laughed out. “So, when are you buying me dinner?” YN scoffed at his forwardness. Sometimes he just loved to take advantage of their month-long age gap.

“Who do you think-” She was getting ready to teasingly scold him, but interrupted her with a loud call.

“Jungkook-ie!” He exclaimed, looking to the door he earlier exited. “Look who’s here to buy us dinner.”

“You little- wait, that’s-”

YN barely managed to keep her jaw from dropping at the sight of the boy she last saw about a year ago - face to face at least. She saw all the boys of BTS all the time during her Skype calls with Taehyung, they’d often drop by to chat or whatnot, Jungkook included, but seeing him in real life… Was an experience, to say the least. He was fit, there was no way around it. Well dressed. With a handsome face and a good haircut. YN sighed as she was reminded of her small crush on the boy.

To add gasoline to the flame Jungkook had a similar experience seeing YN, standing under his hyung’s arm in the middle of the sixth floor’s corridor looking so… Breathtaking. Ever since he realized he had a crush on her he… He merely couldn’t find any other way to describe her. She changed so much in the passing years, evolved, grew into herself. He wasn’t expecting to see her and if she paid him enough mind she would notice how shocked and flustered he was. However, preoccupied with the excitement of seeing her best friend again and the time pressure of having to go meet her realtor in just a short while she didn’t. Jungkook inhaled sharply in an attempt to calm himself down and stop the racing of thoughts in his head.

“YN noona!” He exclaimed with excitement and shock lining his voice. “When did you-”

“Last night.” Taehyung interrupted him, dragging YN under his arm to walk closer to the other boy.

“And for how-”

“For good!” He interrupted him again and Jungkook’s eyes widened at the prospect of seeing YN more often because if she was going to stay in Seoul she was most definitely going to hang out with Taehyung and if she hung out with him he could tag along and stare at her all he wanted, admiring her beauty, getting lost in the sweet sound of her voice, the smell of her-

“Hey, that’s not decided.” YN replied, poking her best friend in the side and removing Jungkook out of his daydream.

“For a couple of years at least.” Taehyung explained by quoting her earlier words.

“That’s great.” He smiled at her as they stood right by each other now. “It’s so nice to see you again. You look healthy.” She smiled at his kindhearted comment, not paying it much mind while he cursed himself out in his head for not saying something more personal or meaningful.

“So, noona what are we eating?” Taehyung asked, rubbing her shoulder.

“Nothing, Taehyung!” She scolded him, instantly jumping from under his heavy arm. “I only came by to say ‘hello’ and give you…” She reached into her purse and pulled out a big paper bag. “This.” As soon as she showed them the packageTaehyung’s hands were already on it, discarding the bag and opening the box hidden inside.

“Yes!” He hummed, looking inside to see a bunch of miniature croissants with different toppings and fillings, ones YN always raved about and promised to bring over whenever she was going to visit.

“I hope you like them as much as I do.” She said smiling at the content in his eyes. As much as she hated having to pay for his meals when they ate together she also loved seeing him get excited over certain dishes and simply eat. “Just don’t eat them all in one sitting.” She cautioned him already imagining the stomach ache he would have to endure if he did that. “And leave some for your friends.” She added gesturing to Jungkook’s hungry stare.

“I won’t, noona.” He assured her quickly and closed the box.

“I have an apartment viewing in about…” She glanced at her wristwatch and noticing how late it was already she sighed slightly. “Ten minutes. I’ll buy you dinner next time.” Taehyung pouted sweetly at the sound of her words even though he knew there was no way for him to get out of the studio right now.

“You’ll have to invite us over to your new place, noona.” YN smiled warmly at Jungkook who finally spoke up again. He smiled brightly at her, showing his bunny-like teeth she adored.

“Ah, I work a lot.” She breathed out, imagining how would be hosting the entirety of BTS in a tiny studio apartment because there was no way she could afford anything more if she wanted to live close to her work in Gangnam-gu. At least not yet. “I don’t know if my schedule will allow me to do that.”

“Is that your excuse to get out of treating us?” Taehyung teased her, pulling on the sleeve of her woollen coat.

“How did you know?” She shot right back with a cheeky smirk that quickly turned into a loving smile. “Keep reminding me.” YN wrapped her arm around his back to pat it caringly. “Hopefully soon our plans will align and then I will buy both of you whatever you want.” Both boys smiled with hope glistening in their eyes at her promise.

-

“Coming!” Jungkook heard YN’s muffled voice right after he pressed on the bell. He swallowed loudly and within seconds she opened the door. Dressed in more of a laid back outfit than he was used to seeing her in - a simple t-shirt, a pair of high waisted beige pants and thinly rimmed silver glasses - she still managed to both knock the wind out of his chest and make him feel underdressed. “Hi! Oh-” Her happy expression faded into a slightly confused one. “I thought you would come over together.” She stepped to the side to let him walk past her and inside the apartment.

“Ah, didn’t Hyung tell you?” He asked, slipping his black boots off as she locked the door behind him. “He had to stay late for dance practice. He said to order without him.”

“No, Taehyung called me already.” Jungkook barely stopped himself from grinning. Taehyung’s last-minute call to YN was part of a much bigger plan. “I meant Jimin Oppa.” She clarified, leaving her keys in the lock. “I thought he would come with you.” Jungkook scrunched his eyebrows, hoping his acting skills were good enough to make his performance believable to her.

“I meant Jimin Hyung too.” He slipped off his jacket and she took it to place it on a hidden hanger in a closet behind her. “He’s still at the studio. I didn’t see Taehyunf-ie Hyung there.” He added.

“Oh. Weird. ” YN frowned in confusion. “None of them said anything in the group chat or anything. I mean Taehyung called me, but-”

“Ah, Jimin must have just forgotten.” He shrugged, playing it off. “You know how he is.”

“I guess.” She nodded before turning to face him. In the thin hallway of her apartment there couldn’t be more than forty centimetres of space between them - an amount that to Jungkook seemed like an unswimmable ocean at this moment.

“So it’s just the two of us until they decide they’ve had enough dancing for the night.” He smiled, feeling the blush creeping up onto his ears and slowly making its way onto his cheeks.

“If they decide that.” She giggled only making him feel warmer in the face.

“So, noona, will you show me around?” He asked in hopes of taking her piercing gaze off him so she didn’t notice his nervous state.

“Yes, of course.” She exclaimed, excited all of a sudden. “So where we are now is my tiny genkan.” She gestured to the small space they stood in - a lowered, tiled area, a little smaller than a square meter. “Here is my wall of closets.” She tapped on the white doors behind her, hiding tons of storage much needed in an apartment as small as this one. “Here is my tiny bathroom.” She walked to the door next to him, switching on the lights to reveal a modern bathroom - something hard to come by in buildings that weren’t newbuilds. “Please don’t mind the toilet paper stacks, I’ve had friends come over for a housewarming party last weekend.” She chuckled, pointing to the surprising amount of toilet paper stacked under the shower. From the bathroom she led him to the main space of the flat. “Here is my kitchen-living-dining-office-room combo.” The room wasn’t big, but it somehow still managed to fit a kitchenette, bar and coffee table, some shelves, and a decently sized couch. “In that nook over there is my bed, you can’t really call that a bedroom, but it’s fine and here- here is my favourite part of this whole place.” YN almost skipped to the large sliding door on the back wall of the apartment. She pulled on it and gestured for him to take a peek inside. “The sunroom!” She exclaimed happily. “It’s dark now, but believe me in the mornings it’s just breathtaking.” Jungkook smiled at the sound of the word.

“Yeah, I bet.” He murmured, glancing over the small rectangular space constructed of mostly windows where YN put up some plants and a tiny table with chairs.

“What do you think?” She asked leaning on the door frame, dangerously close to him.

Truth be told her apartment was everything he expected it to be. Small, but not cramped. Neatly decorated and clean, but not entirely perfect. It didn’t give off a vibe of being creepily overplanned as if taken out of an IKEA booklet. It felt warm and homey, but most importantly it smelled of her which he simply adored. 

“It’s nice.” He smiled, looking down at her. “Cozy. It suits you.” She batted her eyelashes, playing shy.

“Thanks.” She muttered before looking straight at him again. “You hungry already?”

“Starving.” Jungkook breathed out with a slight chuckle, letting the tension in his body loose.

“Let’s order then.” She chirped, reaching for her phone to scour the apps for something tasty.

-

Jungkook’s eyes widened, staying focused on YN’s throat while she downed almost the entirety of her glass. The two of them sat on the carpet-covered floor of her apartment, back resting against her sofa, soft music playing from a Bluetooth speaker in the background, boxes of chicken and fries on the coffee table.

“Drink slower or you’ll get in trouble.” He chuckled, licking his fingers clean from the chicken he just ate.

“This is my first beer.” She shot back, almost choking on the last sip of the fizzy beverage.

“You don’t want it to be the last.” He said in a jokingly warning tone earning an overdramatic eye roll from the girl. “Drinking fast makes you get drunk faster. It was scientifically proven that-”

“Ah, let me do what I want.” She interrupted him, laughing through her words. “If you weren’t Taehyung’s friend I would kick you out already.”

“No, you wouldn’t.” He smirked, hoping for his words to ring true and with the way she smiled at him he was almost certain they would. “Something came to my mind on my way here.” YN leaned her head against her bent leg and hummed, signalizing for him to go on. “Knowing your future is the shittiest feeling of all.”

“Yeah?” She looked up at him curiously, resting her chin on her knee now to see him better. “What’s your shitty fortune then?” Jungkook sighed, letting his head fall back onto the soft cushions of the couch behind him.

“I’ll live my life the way I am expected to.” He murmured. “I’ll show up where I’m needed. I’ll sing when people want to hear it. Dance when they want to see it.” His words carried an unimaginable weight with them. A weight YN imagined would break any other man, but not him. “I’ll get married in my late thirties or early forties, because ‘what even is an idol that’s not single?’.” He chuckled sadly. “And after all that I’ll fade away and- what?” He stopped his reasoning as the sudden sound of her muffled scoff.

“You won’t fade away.” She shook her head and straightened up. Hearing Jungkook say all of that made her heart ache. “You’re too good for that.” She patted his shoulder firmly. “Too cool.”

“You think I’m cool?” He muttered out the question so quietly it got drowned out by YN’s next argument.

“Also you have to create your fate.” She said in a stern tone that Jungkook couldn’t possibly take seriously after hearing her call him cool. “I think I heard that in one of your guys’ songs.” 

“Am I cool to you?” He repeated himself.

“Don’t interrupt me.” She scolded him, taking advantage of their age gap. “You can change your life depending on what you do, Jungkook-ah.” She looked into his deep brown eyes and seeing an unfamiliar shine in the otherwise perfect irises she decided to add one more comment to her speech. “Just don’t do anything too reckless.” She rested her hand on his shoulder for a second. “I would hate to watch you getting hurt.”

Jungkook smiled at her, sincerely, with all his heart. Her words gave him hope and courage. He breathed in sharply, showing off his bunny-like teeth in a wide smile.

“All the girls I dated- ah, it sounds like I dated a lot of girls.” He chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. “All those girls, those moments…” He continued despite knowing she must be a little taken aback by the change in topics. The two of them never talked about their romantic lives with each other for which he was grateful because if he heard of even one boy that wasn’t him hitting on YN he was sure he’d implode. “I thought that was what love feels, but in reality, it might not have been love at all.” YN frowned sadly, her eyes still on his, getting lost in their beauty. “Not true love at least.”

“What even is true love?” She scoffed, breaking eye contact. If she was going to say what she thought of just seconds ago she couldn’t be looking at him. “I’ve never been in love.” She confessed without much hesitation now that she averted her gaze.

“Never?” She simply hummed out an agreement while looking at her feet on the fuzzy rug. “I have. Actually, I still am.” YN smiled, but her gaze remained down.

“Lucky you.” Jungkook traced her movements with caution, not wanting to say too much or too little. This moment was important and he wasn’t going to mess it up.

“Yeah. There might be some luck in my situation.” He was being vague and she easily read it in his voice that he wanted her to ask him more. As new as this situation was - since she never talked to Jungkook about this kind of stuff - it also felt almost natural.

“Are you together?” He stayed silent so she decided upon explaining her question further. “With the girl that you’re in love with.”

“Ah.” He exhaled weakly, leaning his head on the couch again, but keeping his eyes on her. “Not entirely.” YN looked at his blonde hair scattered on the grey cushioning of the sofa. Later her stare travelled to his forehead, his strong eyebrows and then his deep brown eyes that contrasted so perfectly with the lightness of his hair.

“How so?” The corner of his lips tugged upwards as she took the bait he was trying to give her.

“Well, we’re not dating-” His eyelids fell slightly as his gaze went to her lips and then opened back up as it came to her eyes again. “- but we are in the same room.” YN exhaled a slight chuckle and smiled at him sweetly.

“You are a lot smoother than the last time we talked.” She admitted, still hugging onto the leg she had up to her chest. She felt oddly comfortable with his corny confession, taking it as a weak joke of some sort.

“Smooth enough to get you to agree to go on a date with me?” He asked, staying in the same relaxed position. YN shook her head slightly, looking down once more, releasing it might have not been kidding.

“I’m your noona.” She muttered under her breath. Jungkook shifted from his previous spot and shuffled to sit closer to her. At this point YN was sure he wasn’t kidding though she kind of wished for him to be.

“By less than two years.” He said sternly, sitting right in front of her, scanning her face up and down while she didn’t dare to even glance at him.

“Still, it’s-”

“It’s what?” He interrupted her at which she lifted her face, making their eyes meet. The glimmer she noticed said it all.

“Inappropriate.” She seeped through gritted teeth. YN never thought the boy could see her as anything more than his senior, his noona, his bandmates childhood best friend who bought him dinner whenever she came over.

“Pft.” Jungkook scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Says who?” He asked, cocking his eyebrow.

“Everyone, Jungkook.” She declared and raised her finger at him right as he opened his mouth. “And don’t say ‘fuck everyone’!” He shook his head before coming up with a different comeback.

“So stop making excuses and face your feelings.” This time it was her that scoffed.

“Who says I have any feelings for you?” Jungkook felt his stomach turn. He considered getting rejected, but coming face to face with it he wasn’t prepared to take that blow.

“M- my gut.” He stuttered.

“Your gut?” She shot him a patronizing stare. Seeing that look in her eyes angered him and anger gave him a rush of courage he needed.

“Yes. Stop repeating my words.”

“Stop disrespecting your noona.”

“Stop taking advantage of our age gap.” YN sighed breaking the staring contest and brought her other leg up as if to shield herself from him. “If we were in Paris or Madrid or anywhere else you lived while you were working in Europe you wouldn’t think twice about it and you know it. If the roles were reversed and I was older it wouldn’t be a problem either.” He spoke from his heart and she knew he was right. “Why is it suddenly so important when you’re in Korea?” She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to stop herself from blowing up on the poor boy. He wasn’t the one to blame for the norms generally applicable in Korea when it came to dating.

“Because of societal rules.” She uttered out quietly. Feeling the pain in her voice made Jungkook want to be close to her, wrap his arms around her and whisper sweet nothings into her ear, but he didn’t want to cross any lines so he opted for just shifting closer to her. Close enough so the sides of his thighs touched her curled up legs.

“It’s two years.” He whispered, twirling a piece of her hair between his fingers. “Barely two years.”

“To you.” YN murmured, faced away from him.

“And to you?” Her shoulders rose and fell down abruptly as she sighed deeply.

“Stop it.”

“My mom is older than my dad.” He started slowly, now stroking her arm. “By two years too.”

“Is she?” He smiled at the hopeful change in her tone.

“Yeah.” He purred. “And to make it even less socially acceptable she was the one that hit on my dad, not the other way around.” YN chuckled, sending a shiver of excitement down his back.

“So that’s where you get your determination from.” Jungkook hummed in agreement.

“You bet.” YN straightened up, pushing his hand away. With great struggle, she managed to look him in the eyes again.

“Jungkook-ah, I-”

“YN Noona, I like you. A lot.” He interrupted her as soon as their stares met. “And your age was never a factor in me coming to those feelings.”

She stayed silent for a moment after he said that, keeping eye contact and after that short while Jungkook saw her legs drop down as she came into a kneel. Her soft palms made contact with the warmth of his cheeks bringing his lips to her own. His hands instantly travelled to her waist, guiding her to sit in his lap, her legs draped to the side. She teased him by biting on his lower lip lightly, asking for him to open his mouth to her and he did, allowing her tongue to dance alongside his as if they kissed like this a million times before.

“How am I going to tell Taehyung about this?” YN asked after breaking the kiss. Her fingers were tangled in his hair, his hands caressed the bare skin of her back under her t-shirt.

“He already knows.” Jungkook smiled against her lips as he leaned forward to plant a wet peck on them.

“What?” YN looked at him wide eyed and he smiled brighter. Her gaze fell down to the space between their chests as she felt a hint of pinkish lush blossom on her cheeks.

“Did you really think both him and Jimin had to bail last minute, leaving me and you all alone?” Jungkook grazed his nose over hers in an attempt to get her to look back at him again, but it didn’t work. “I told Hyung I was going to confess to you this morning.” Her eyelashes fluttered slowly and he was able to look into her shining eyes once again. “He came up with this plan and even cheered me on.”

“Really?” YN asked in disbelief, wrapping her arms around his neck and resting them upon his shoulders. He liked it, the weight of her body on him, it made him feel strong and needed. 

“Yeah, I told him that I liked you a long time ago.” He noticed the questioning raise of her eyebrows, but kept talking as if he didn’t. “Ever since then he’s been teasing me about it, but when I spoke to him this morning he was so serious.” Jungkook rolled his head back exhaling a small laugh at the memory of the conversation he had with Taehyung earlier in the day. The small movement exposed the skin of his neck to YN and her eyes naturally travelled to the surface she never before paid much attention to, but now wanted to shower with not only kisses. “He even gave me a speech about how I can’t ever be mean to you and ruin your guys’ friendship and that I should treat you right-”

“And will you?” She tugged on his shoulders lightly, but he was faster in his reaction. He straightened up and rested his forehead against hers.

“Are you kidding me? Of course.” He spoke in a low, calm voice. “So?”

“So what?” YN smiled, running her fingers through the hair on the back of his head - a motion he already grew to love.

“Are we like a thing now?” He grinned without hiding his excitement. Jungkook wanted them to be ‘a thing’, something, anything, as long as it was him and her.

“Take me out first and then I’ll make up my mind.” She joked, keeping the same smile on her lips. Jungkook leaned forward, pulling her hips closer as their mouth crashed in a quick yet passionate kiss.

“What are we waiting for then?” He smirked into the kiss. “Let’s go.”

“Now?” She asked, pushing his chest away so she could see him whole and make sure he wasn’t joking. 

“It’s still early.” He shrugged, bringing his hands to her upper back. “We can fit in a romantic walk by the river and I’ll treat you to a ridiculously expensive dessert after.” YN chuckled at his simple proposition. It seemed so heartfelt, so tempting. She let her hands travel mindlessly from his hair to his shoulders, then neck, jaw. She pulled him in to leave a sweet peck on his hungry lips.

“Lead the way.”

#jk #jjk #bts jjk #bts #bts!au #bts!idol #idol!bts #idol x reader #noon #your noona #idol!jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkookxreader #jungkookxnoona #jungkook x noona #noona reader #idol imagine #bts imagines #bts idol imagine #kpop imagine #bts imagine #bts scenarios #scs #bts scenario #scenario #scenarios #au #jk!au #jungkook!au #bangtan

[jaysbestie]

ahshshdhsh this is my first time using the ask function in this app and i might as well take this as an opportunity. can you please write about jakey being a hopeless romantic (kinda like f2l thing) wherein they're also classmates and y/n is oblivious af? it would be very much appreciated, thank you~

hi this is a vERY late, I don't know if this is similarto what you wanted, I'm so sorry, but I hope you like it!!

Hoops and Love Letters

pairing ; f2l! basketball player! jake x gn reader

genre ; fluff

warnings ; food

summary ; jake, your best friend since you were children has started making your heart beat fast, little do you know, his is beating just as fast...

"yo jake!"

you were sitting on one of the park's benches with your best friend while eating strawberry flavored ice cream he got for you, when you heard someone call your best friend's name.

"jake!"

it was louder this time, meaning the person calling him was coming closer. Suddenly one of jake's friends, sunghoon, came into view trying to catch his breath while he sat down on the bench between you.

well now that was awkward.

he looked between you two, clueless to the situation you were in and asked,

"did I interrupt anything?"

he asked and to that question, your cheeks reddened as you turned to look at jake, noticing how his cheeks were also light crimson as he opened his mouth to answer his friend's question

"n-no you sure didn't" jake stammered. but jake never stammers?? and you just stood there, a little sad that jake answered sunghoon's question negatively and you just stood there, taken aback by jake's answer and by his stammering.

"it doesn't seem like it tho, anyways, heesung needs you in practice, jay was late and he almost got yelled at" sunghoon started talking without getting a breath, almost as if he was rapping.

you searched jake's face for a reaction and he didn't even look surprised by ths situation going on at the school's gym.

"well, y/n, I'll have to go, sadly, however, ill try to return you your book on saturday on our picnic!" he told you while he got his school bag, from the bench you sat on every day after school, and started walking behind sunghoon to the gym.

"I'll be waiting for my book!" you yelled and screamed, happy that he remembered the poetry book he borrowed from you, two weeks ago. you see, your and jake's bond was something unbreakable, being friends and classmates from a very young age and being lucky enough to be able to continue this friendship till now. you started packing your bag and put the cup from the ice cream in the park's trashcan while going to your house. there really wasn't anyone at home however you prepared your table fully and made yourself lunch. you sat down trying to find a boring enough movie so that you'll be motivated to stop watching it and study or catch a nap.

————————♡timeskip♡———————

it was now 7pm on a friday afternoon and you were currently doing your homework so that you didn't have to do them during the weekend, when your computer started alarming you that there was an incoming skype call by jake. it made you instantly smile and you answered his call watching his face brighten once he saw you had picked up.

"hey"

"hi"

"are you doing homework on a friday night?" he asked, while he looked at me as if I was a weird creature.

"yeah, I don't understand your opposition on me doing my homework on a friday night" you said, the fake offended look on your face made jake laugh and that moment it was like you heard an angel laugh.

"have you prepared anything for our picnic tomorrow?"

oh shIT

you panicked

"I swear to god, y/n y/l/n, did you forget about one of the most important days of the month?" it was his turn to act offended now taking a dramatic pose acting as if he was crying.

you were about to start crying because, hoW. COULD. YOU. FORGET. YOUR PICNIC?!?!

"oH HELL NOH, how could I forget our picnic?!" you stated nervously hoping that he didn't notice the panic on your face when he mentioned the picnic.

"great, I was hoping you remembered about it because, well,,, tomorrow's picnic will be extra special, than just a day on the calendar" he said, he seemed nervous and by his sentence you became nervous too, hoping that something joyful will be behind this "extra special picnic"

"YO Y/N YOU THERE?" he yelled and then proceeded to slap his laptop's screen, just to make sure his computer wasn't the problematical one.

"yeah sorry, my laptop started glitching, see you tomorrow at the park!" you yelled at him and ended the call in a hurry.

you sat up from your desk's chair and walked in front of your mirror

"I now have to go down and prepare for tomorrow's picnic" you said to try and convince yourself to go down and prepare however your plan was interrupted when your phone rang, the name of your other best friend lighting up the screen.

"YANG JUNGWON YOU LITTLE MONSTER" you screamed as you picked up the phone.

" yo y/n what is your proBLEM?!"

"YOU OBVIOUSLY"

"what did I do this time bestie, explain to me please"

"well I was about to go prepare for my monthly picnic with jake but you decided that it was a good idea to call me".

"oooh, jake, the guy that likes you but doesn't know how to tell you"

"plEASE, he doesn't like me, we've been friends for a couple years and he sees me as a good friend"

"ok but like, since yOU like him, why don't you speak to him about it?"

at this point you are heading to the kitchen in order to get ready for tomorrow, since hanging up on jungwon wouldn't happen soon.

"if I tell him I might ruin our friendship, won"

"he likes you too tho, even sunghoon noticed!"

"since when do you hang out with sunghoon?"

"since you were too busy going on dates with jake"

"please, we had study meetings"

"yeah call it whatever you want love"

you tried to respond to jungwon but nothing came out of your mouth so jungwon continued,

"anyways, I'm hanging up so you can prepare for your picnic, by the way, wear those brown corduroy pants I got you for your birthday!!"

"yeah fine, I'll make sure to fill you in on what happened won, good night!"

"night y/n!"

with that you went to prepare some quick snacks for tomorrow and also got some of your favorite jellies from a seven eleven nearby, all because they were also jake's favorite jellies.

———————♡timeskip #2♡———————

you woke up by the sudden sound of your alarm, you didn't even remember setting an alarm but you find have time to worry about stuff like this as you wanted to get up and get ready quickly for the picnic.

your phone rang and jake's number lit up your phone's screen.

"yo jake, bro, homie, fella, how you doin" that was the weirdest thing you've ever, like eVER, said in your life.

"Y/N Y/L/N ARE YOU DRUNK THIS EARLY IN THE MORNING?!"

"of course no jakey, it's 11:29 am, the picnic is in two hours "

" uh uh uh- special picnic" jake emphasized special once again.

" oh well, guess I'll take more time to get ready since its spEcial" you said, mimicking the way he said special.

" I swear to our friendship, y/n, if you're not ready by the time I come to pick you up, consider yourself not my friend" he said sarcastically, adding a laugh at the middle of his sentence.

"oh well, it's your lucky day because I have just started getting ready!" you lied, you walked to your dresser and started searching for that one pair of brown corduroy pants jungwon suggested you wear.

"I'm hanging up jake, gotta go get ready, see you at 1 outside my house!" you hung up without giving him a chance to reply.

bingo

you finally found the pants, searching for a shirt now. you found a white blouse you had got last Halloween for a pirate costume but never wore it. It didn't look like a costume shirt anyway, you shrugged and got into the bathroom to take a shower and get ready afterwards.

You were done with your shower now, the time was 12 pm and you had an hour left before jake got to your place to pick you up.

You put on your clothes and matched a pearl necklace (which was, indeed, a gift by jake) with your outfit, you opted for some classic black converse high tops as for the shoe choice, and with that, your outfit was complete.

You headed downstairs to prepare your basket, full with snacks and fizzy drinks, also getting a light blanket with you, just in case.

You heard a car honk from outside and checked the time, it was 12 : 40, twenty minutes before jake should be here to pick you up. The same honking sound was heard again and you headed to the door to see if it was jake by any chance. It was jake indeed, you got your basket, your keys, sprayed some perfume on and left the house, not forgetting to lock the door behind you.

"well hello there, y/n"

you were ready to tell general kenobi literally at his face, the pun must've been intended as you had a star wars movie marathon some days ago.

"hello to you too, jakey"

You both got in the car and jake turned the music up, a song unknown to you playing on the radio. Jake seemed different today, he seemed nervous, something unusual to him.

"is everything okay jake?"

"yeah why?" he responded while he let out a small laugh.

"oh, nothing!"

The drive went by quickly, however jake had taken you to a place you thought you'd never see again, it was the place where you and jake had first met. A park filled with bushes and sunflowers, huge trees and benches along with wooden tables. You were on the verge of tears, left speechless, you opened the car's door, taking your basket and started running around the park laughing loudly. You were feeling truly happy.

Jake was watching from inside the car, deciding to open his door too, taking his own basket, locking the car and started running towards you.

After running around for some good minutes, you sat on bench and left your baskets on a wooden table, starting to set your food in order for your picnic to start.

You had started eating your second sandwich when jake interrupted you, making you put your sandwich down and turning your attention to him.

"yo y/n, do you remember those love letters you kept on receiving last year?"

"of course I do! I've been searching till this day! but what does that have to with our special picnic?"

"well, I'm the one who sent those letters" jake said, lowering his head and starting to fiddle with his hands.

"well, that was a good one!" you started laughing. Noticing the situation jake was in right now, it only meant one thing, "WAit, you're not joking?"

"not really" he said giggling sadly, lifting his stare and watching into your eyes. You extended your arms and reached out to hug him.

"why didn't you tell me?"

"wait, you really didn't know I liked you? The boys kept on telling that my crush on you was too obvious!" he said, looking annoyed by his friends that moment.

"I mean, you did throw a basket ball at me once that had, "let me take you out" all over it but I didn't think you meant thAT TAKING OUT" you said, laughing at the old memory you had remembered.

well, y/n, would you officially allow me to take you out?" he asked, a glowing happy slice on his face when he noticed your emotionless face, "on A DATE, I mean, not with a basket ball!" he added. With that, you burst into laughter and looked at him, showing him your brightest smile.

"of course I'll let you take me out, on a date, jake"

#bye this took so long to write sorry #enhypen #enhypen fluff #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen drabbles #enhypen x reader #jake sim #enhypen jake x reader #hope you like this even if its taken me to long to post it!