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legolasghosty · 7 months

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So. About a year ago, the lovely Innytoes created a list of spicy writing prompts. And I, being the dorky ace that I am, decided to take it as a personal challenge to see just how UN-spicy I could do some of said prompts. The actual giving of prompts was kept to a few friends, and it was mostly a silly thing back when I could actually sit down and spin up a one shot in an evening. (A few of said prompts actually made it to ao3 at various points, you can read them here, here, here, and here!)

HOWEVER, I took a couple of the prompts off of the list before I offered it to my friends for prompts. Mostly cause I just had no idea how to make said prompts not sexual. But one of them has continued to haunt me for over a frigging year now! SO, here's some little snippets of how one could de-saucy-ify the prompt, "The lube is what flavor?"

Option 1 -

"Okay so what am I supposed to be getting again?" Alex asked, the phone to his ear as he entered the O'Reillys.

He heard Bobby groan on the other end of the call. "We've been over this at least five times, Lex." Alex could feel his exasperated glare without even seeing him.

"I'm sorry," Alex sighed. "I just know literally nothing about car fluids. Blame the gay in me or whatever."

"You do realize I'm gay too, right?" Bobby pointed out. "But again, you're looking for silicon lubricant. And for the love of God, don't get that Red and Tacky garbage Chad 'recommended'."

"I'm sorry, the lube is what flavor?!" Alex demanded, turning onto the aisle marked 'Fluids'.

"You're not supposed to-whatever-just get the silicon stuff," Bobby said instead of answering. "Valvoline usually works just fine."

Alex glanced around at the overwhelming shelves of bottles and jugs. He drummed out the beat to a song Luke and Julie had shown them the day before on his leg as he narrowed down the options. There, that looked right.

"Okay I found it," he told Bobby. "But you're explaining how car lube can be 'red and tacky' to me later."

"Deal," Bobby responded, sounding relieved.

Option 2 -

"-and the vocal folds need to be kept moist," Julie explained.

Luke nodded, but Julie knew she was losing him. His vocal health notes had dissolved into scribbles and half-finished lyrics. She'd better wrap this up.

"So they're naturally lubricated with a really thin layer of mucus," she continued. "And in order to keep that layer thin and stuff, you have to stay properly hydrated."

She paused to pick up the light blue plastic water bottle from the studio floor. But when she looked back up to whack him with it, the mostly full container seeming like a decent way to make a point, he was already staring at her, eyes full of confusion.

"What?" Julie asked, one hand flying automatically up to her ponytail to see if it had come loose or something.

"The lube is what flavor?" Luke asked, mouth hanging open a bit.

"I-what?" Julie asked again, now feeling almost as confused as her bandmate looked.

"The voice cord lube stuff," Luke responded. "You said it's like mucus. But isn't that just... snot? Your voice is covered in stuff that tastes like snot?!"

Julie tried to hold back. She really did. But she failed. She burst out laughing, dropping Luke's water bottle in a futile attempt to hide it. "Luke, mucus is more than just snot," she tried to explain through her giggles. "But yes, that's what keeps your vocal cords moist."

Luke shook his head. To all the world, he may have looked like a man who'd just been told he was colorblind, that everyone else could see a universe of shades his eyes couldn't comprehend.

But only Julie would know the truth. At least some part of her mini-lecture on vocal health got through.

Option 3 -

"Okay, and then pass me the 205?" Flynn requested, holding out a hand to Reggie, who was sitting on the floor along with most of Flynn's tools.

"Um, the what?" Reggie asked sheepishly, glancing around at the various brushes, screwdrivers, and small tubes surrounding him.

"Oh, the switch lube," Flynn clarified, pointing at a small jar. "It's GPL 205G0, and there's lots of types of keyboard lubricant, so we usually just use the numbers to ID them."

"Oh, right, sure," Reggie responded, passing her the container. "Sorry. Computers aren't really my thing."

"Well that's what you have me for," Flynn pointed out, smirking. "I fix your glitchy keyboard, you keep me from failing math."

Reggie laughed and leaned back against Flynn's bed while she worked. After a minute, she passed him back the jar and started fitting the keys back into place. He entertained himself by inspecting the black lid.

"Wait, so the lube is what flavor?" he asked, looking up at Flynn again. "Da-vinny-key?"

"Divinikey," Flynn corrected easily. "And that's a brand, not a flavor. Please don't eat keyboard lubricant."

"Well I wasn't planning on it..." Reggie said, letting his sentence trail off suggestively.

"Reginald Jacob Peters, you wouldn't dare," Flynn warned, shooting him a glare over her shoulder.

He held her eyes for one moment. Two. Three. Fo-

Reggie burst out laughing, with Flynn only a moment behind.

"I make no promises," Reggie wheezed as he got his breath back.

"I'm not taking you to the hospital when it poisons you," Flynn shot back, her grin betraying her words.

Thank goodness Reggie's keyboard was done already.

Thank you, sorry for wasting your time with my brain worm!

#legolas tag #legolas rambles #no I'm not tagging Inny in this #cause I don't wanna bug her with my...#mental issues?#I don't know #but this would NOT stop bugging me #so maybe it will leave me alone now #also this is not to be taken as advice in any of these areas #the only one I actually know much about is the singing one #please do not take my word for what car or keyboard lube to use #but yes according to the internet 'Red and Tacky' car grease is a thing #I don't know why #also in looking back through when I wrote these #apparently there's one more that I never actually put up on ao3 #hmmmm maybe...#if I have the energy at some point #not that anyone would read it lol

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lizzibennet · 2 years

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wow!!!!!!!!!! WHO could have EVER seen this coming

#maybe the hmmmm literal thousands of costume historians who said NOT TO DO IT?

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cacaocheri · 18 days

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hozier's song is killing me so have this quick doodle before i go crazy and make an entire animatic

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tohot4u · 3 months

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Tried to practice rendering again

#I honestly don’t know if I like lineart or rendering more #Maybe there’s a way to combine it…hmmmm #pain and suffering #lego monkie kid #lmk fanart #lmk #lego monkey kid fanart #lego monkie kid mk #lmk mei #red son #lmk red son

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drabdoodler · 2 months

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lalalalala!! My side of an AT with @artilite

THIS IS VERY INSPIRED BY MARIORSOMETHING’S WORK!! GO CHECK THEM OUT!!

#isat siffrin #in stars and time #isat fanart #isat loop #isat #siffrin #Idk is this spoilers #Guys I don’t know #Maybe I should do more comics.#Hmmmm

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intotheelliwoods · 5 months

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Pre-orders have arrived! <- Come get your boy!

Closing the listing on late Sunday the 19th! Shipping should start no later than December 21st, assuming theres no overseas shipping delays, and assuming they keychains dont get lost to transit hell!

#ell becomes an etsy seller arc #2al merch #a perfect buy if you want your keychain like 2 days after christmas LMAO #rottmnt #rise leo #leonardo hamato #probably going to be rbing this a few times till sunday #want to make sure everyone has a chance to get their hands on this guy since this is probably going to be the last batch #(I might keep making keychains but it would not be this design)#(looks at sprout keychain..... hmmmm maybe. if demand is high enough)#also this is going to help me so much #so I can figure out how much demand I actually have for my shit #oh my gosh #I cannot for the life of me tell how many of you are going to want to buy something so #preorders it is #at least then after the preorders I can gauge how popular my stuff would be and can plan more accordingly without preorders then

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mybrknhrtt · 6 months

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lots of fjord pt II.

#my art #critical role #cr2 #the mighty nein #echoes of the solstice #fjord stone #cr fjord #fanart #digital art #a message by coldplay #critical role fanart #hmmMm idk #i needed to give long haired fjord a try #not my fav at all but #hope yall like it !!#i also love using travis features to draw him<3 #maybe i'll do a expression sheet next time!!!

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lilybug-02 · 7 days

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This has happened to me way too many times for it be normal.

#i love my fellow authors and creators. I really do. but OH MY GOD.#please #tag that shit #or just maybe.... dont do that??? hmmmm #bro i cant #i would love to blame myself in that maybe I just ignored the warnings- but like....usually its a very chill vibe #and then BAM. I see something I should not have ever seen.#anyways....#bread #bread comics #my art #mini comic

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littlegreekhero · 1 day

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Bernard: I had a crush on Young Justice when i was younger.

Tim: Really? On who?

Bernard: On Young Justice.

Tim: ... all of us them?

#bernard: do you think i could get a chance with any of them?#tim: *thinking slobo’s dead-greta’s a human-anita’s been forgotten-arowette quit* no i dont think so #bernard: shame. i couldve treated superboy so well #tim: hmmmm #tim: maybe you should try contacting him #bernard dowd #td:r #tim drake

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starrysharks · 1 year

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sakura miku because its spring !!!!!

#vocaloid #vocal synths #hatsune miku #miku #sakura miku #i love spring and i love miku #best season of the year #and sakura miku figures are always cute #weird how theres a snow miku and a sakura miku but no autumn or summer mikus....#maybe ill design some of my own hmmmm

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chellodello · 7 months

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I just think that there should be more stories about them crashing fancy space parties.

#invader zim #ZADR #zadr day #dib membrane #Zim #Did Zim purposefully dress Dib up in irken elite formal wear #did he do this to scandalize any irken at the party?#¯\_(ツ)_/¯ hmmmm maaaaybe #Dib did not expect being dipped like a chip #did I have a hard time drawing said scandalized aliens?#also maybe #chellos art tag #the brainrot is terminal #zadrday

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myokk · 4 days

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(sebastian was interrupted in the middle of a good book)

#he is a Huge Nerd and loves reading and spending time at the library and you can’t change my mind😤#I need to do sketches underneath because I Don’t and when I go in with the black pencil I can’t erase lol #but still I mostly like this one🥰 hope you guys do too!!#hmmmm next will be Sebastian and Anne as young hooligans and then maybe a sweet poppyximelda bc I love them too 🤧💓#if you guys have any suggestions I would love to hear them too!!! 🥰😘#hope you’re having a great Wednesday os quiero mucho!! 😘😘#Sebastian sallow #Sebastian #hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy fanart #Sebastian sallow fanart #hphl

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sashthesloth · 2 months

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“Janiris. It’s an asari holiday.” […] “It is mainly marked by a feast and the making of flower crowns and necklaces. Then exchanged between friends and lovers.”

The Untamed Effect, Chapter 6 by @thievinghippo