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retvenkos · 3 years

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Grishaverse Deep Dive: The Darkling is a Character that lives in a Society.

((spoilers for ALL of the grishaverse))

Ah, yes, Shadow and Bone season 2 is gearing up, the birds are singing, I have a cup of earl grey tea before me - it is finally time to sit down to talk about the Darkling, and explain his tenuous relationship with the Grishaverse.

The Darkling is a character greatly contested. When simply looking at his motivations, we see a rift in the fandom. Add in his backstory and it fractures even more. When you pepper in the third ingredient of his relationship with Alina, you get an entire war. The Darkling is a divisive character. He gets under our skin and lingers for days afterwards.

I am going to take you on a deep dive of the Darklings character, and try to tease apart the problems that lie within the creation of his character. Why were so many fans betrayed by his ending? How did he muddle the messages of Shadow and Bone, and why is his ending so complicated that it satisfies very few? Today, we’re going to look at The Problem of the Darking: An Essay in Six Parts.

A little history lesson;

So first, allow me to take you back in time, to 2012, when Shadow and Bone was first released.

Two years prior, The Hunger Games Trilogy had finished coming out and, in a rather stunning turn of events, shifted the popular Y.A. category from the genre of the paranormal romance (thank you, Stephanie Meyer) to the dystopian society.

Now, this is not to say that there weren’t dystopian stories prior to The Hunger Games, or that there weren’t paranormal romances in the Y.A. genre afterward. Both have survived, but the boom of dystopian stories and the whimper of paranormal romance was definitely felt.

So 2012 hits. In comes Shadow and Bone, in a time where we have some interesting precedents that our Y.A. forefathers created:

Firstly, let’s talk about themes.

Carried over from both genres, is this idea of duality. There is light and there is dark, and whether or not there is a middle ground is up to the author. As the Y.A. target audience is quite large, there’s a lot to be said for how nuanced this idea can be. In many stories, it’s a nail on the head. In others, the lines are a little more blurred. In most stories, you get some semblance of Good = Light, Bad = Shadow. In the end, the ultimate goal is to embrace one or the other. At the end of the series, we’re either in the midday sun or the midnight darkness. The peak of the story leaves very little middle ground.

Then, brought over from the dystopian genre, we have the idea that The Current Regime is Bad for insidious reasons, and it needs to be torn down and built anew. This is often the main focus of dystopian stories, and our main characters are revolutionaries that see the world in a new, free light.

Finally, a trap of the Y.A. category is it’s simplistic idea of good and bad. Again, we hark back to the vast target age range, and you can see why this would be so prevalent. There is very little by way of morally grey, in the Y.A. category, and if there is moral greyness, it almost always falls into two categories: (1) it is held by the main character alone, and that is why we root for them, or (2) it is martyred and killed. Moral greyness is either the Ushering of a New Era, or The Ideal that Could Not Be. If greyness is to survive, it must exist in the main character who, readers hope, will usher in a new dawn of peace (and light moral greyness) either through their small acts of love (the angel loving the demon) or in large displays of change (the morally grey character rising to be ruler).

These are all themes we expect to be present in Shadow and Bone. And for the most part, they are!

But now let’s talk about character tropes.

Carried over from the paranormal romance, we have the introduction of the “Othered” love interest. This character has a condition that sets him apart from others, and (whether it be vampire, demon, werewolf, etc.) is so prevalent that he cannot fit in. And because of his differences, he has been shunned by Society. This character, notably, is not the “light” or “pure” paranormal figure - he is not the angel - but rather, the demon. The angel would be able to slip into society (presumably because his goodness grants him some kind of godly camouflage). The demon cannot. He doesn’t fit in, and he never can. This creates tension in him, and so he shuns others just as hard as they shun him - he has done so for a very long time until he meets our main character, who gets close to him and breaks down his walls. This character is often the eventual love interest, for reasons that will become apparent later.

Sometimes carried over from the paranormal romance is the idea that the main character is secretly an “other in hiding” (an angel without her wings, etc.). This creates a bond between the “Othered” love interest and the main character - a bond that can’t be deteriorated once it’s been made, because the main character can’t be un-Othered. They can’t take back the forbidden knowledge they’ve obtained. If this character pops up, the “Othered” love interest is almost always chosen, if he exists.

The dystopian genre has a branching version of this trope, as there is almost always a healthy amount of othering. The main character usually comes from a group of people that is Othered from Society, but our main character is even more unique/different from their “Othered group.” This “specially Othered” character is superpowered in that they can navigate both “Othered” Society and “normal” Society. They can be the go-between.

Sometimes found in the paranormal romance is the “normal” or stereotypical character. This is the average human - the character that doesn’t understand the “Othered” love interest, and wants the main character to go back to the way things were before. This character can sometimes make up the other leg of the love triangle and become a love interest. Other times, it’s a family member or a friend or even an abstract ideal. The point of this character, however, is to show the main character that they can’t go back to the way things were. Too much has happened. Too much has been discovered.

All of this is to say that when Shadow and Bone came out, audiences had expectations with long standing. It is safe and fair to say that the Darkling was set up as a character to be viewed in a certain light, and then the rug was pulled out beneath fans, who had already invested so much in his character.

Shadow and Bone: The characters that Don’t Fit;

So now let’s look at Shadow and Bone in the scope of history and audience expectation. Let’s look at the characters as well as the Grishaverse, in broad terms.

The Darkling is, in the first half of Shadow and Bone, the stereotypical “Othered” love interest. He can summon shadows, which is remarkably different from the other powers of Grisha, and his “forefathers” have done terrible things with this power, making him not only an other in talent but an other in animosity and fear.

In comes Alina, and she is a perfect fit for the main character being an “other in hiding” as well as a “specially Othered” character. She was otkazat’sya before she realized she was Grisha, and she is seen as the go-between for these two different worlds - she can bring them together. Furthermore, she is stronger than your average Grisha - distinct from all others, excepting the Darkling.

Alina is understood by the Darkling. She is discovering parts of herself that she didn’t know she had. This is all decidedly Good, and the romance that is forming is living up to reader expectation.

We also have an interesting occurence of duality. Alina, with her light, is the equal and opposite to the Darkling and his shadow. Together, they have limitless power, a common goal, and perhaps a purifying dynamic as Alina can “save” the Darkling. Her light can banish his shadows.

History is leading us to believe they are the endgame ship.

This is only inculcated when you have Mal, who is the “normal” character. Through the framing of the story (not seeing Mal, holding on to him only causing Alina to not reach her full potential), we see that the love story with Mal is the Romance That Cannot Be. They are fated to be apart due to the tropes that readers know and understand.

But then the second half of the book kicks in, The Darkling is proven to have been manipulating Alina, things go South, and readers are left unaware of what’s coming next. In this moment, the theme of The Current Regime is Bad slaps readers across the face.

So let’s take a second to look at The Current Regime is Bad, because how the Darkling and his motives exist in that tempest is thought provoking, to say the least.

The Darkling is, decidedly, a part of The Current Regime. He is a general and close to the King, after all. He is a part of this life... and yet he is not. Remember that The Darkling is our “Othered” character. He cannot be a part of The Current Regime because he is shunned by it. And yet, he is tied to it like a prisoner.

The reader thinks: is the Darkling bad? He is shown to be a part of Society. He wants the war to continue - he doesn’t want to tear down the Fold.

As the reader is grappling with this revelation, we are told (in the same book!) that the Darkling is actually not a part of The Current Regime (which is Bad), but rather, had been working against it.

Okay.

So now the reader thinks that since Society is Bad, and the Darkling is against it, he and Alina do have a common goal, and his status as a love interest can be saved. He can be redeemed as a character because Alina can purify his methods, then together they can get rid of the current regime, and they can be Others together.

It’s a solid thought process. After all, the “Othered” characters have been consistently good at heart, and Alina can redeem him. We still have a bad guy to take down - and it’s not the Darkling.

But...

Leigh Bardugo decides that is not the story she wants to tell, and she has to pull out some literary gymnastics to give us an explanation. The idea is, no, the Darkling is Bad and his “Othered” status is not relevant because it doesn’t justify his actions. He is a part of a radical portion of The Current Regime and is just as Bad.

Enter Nikolai Lantsov, who can take over The Current Regime, because as the reader is constantly reminded, Alina no longer wants novelty - she wants normalcy (which is represented by none other than Malyen Oretsev).

So, what does all of this mean? The Darkling decidedly Doesn’t Fit into any of the currently accepted (and expected) tropes of the Y.A. genre. This, on its own, is not inherently Bad or Wrong, but you can see how readers were thrown and consistently, ideas were stretched to fit the simplistic ideas of good and bad that run rampant through the Y.A. category.

The Darkling: What We Left Behind;

We have all heard the critique that the most frustrating thing about the Shadow and Bone Trilogy is how the treatment of Grisha is never fixed. It’s mentioned, but it’s never addressed.

To play the Devil’s Advocate, I am going to tell you all that this problem was never fixed because it was never part of Alina’s Narrative. As I will now attempt to point out, The Darkling is an ill suited antagonist for Alina’s story.

As I like to joke with my friends, the Darkling is an Adult Fantasy character inside of a Y.A. Fantasy story. He cannot be properly served because the story does not fit him, and it doesn’t really try.

Y.A. stories are incredibly focused. There is usually a lot going on in the wider story, but the reader is confined to one point of view and one narrative. This is why the main character is always leading rebellions and fighting in the thick of things. In order to address the problems of the wider narrative, the main character needs to be pretty front and center with the problems.

Alina is at the center of an inner conflict of power vs. normalcy. She is not at the center of the Grisha’s problems.

Time and again, we see that Alina largely doesn’t care about how terribly Grisha are treated, as a whole. She has moments of clarity where she is angry (notably the scene in Ruin and Rising where the nations’ treatment of Grisha is described in detail), but her remorse doesn’t really extend past sympathy. In the end, she still does nothing to save Grisha.

Alina is a terrible hero when matched to the problems the Darkling is trying to solve. She doesn’t understand their full breadth, having not grown up with them, and she doesn’t want to fix them.

The Problem of The Darkling is that he is a character with problems and motivations that get shrinked and discarded because they do not fit into the Alina Narrative.

Alina’s story is about three things: (1) learning that a lust for power is bad and only corrupts; (2) tearing down the Fold, which is the representation of lusty power; and (3) returning to normalcy. (If you’re wondering why Mal is a rough™ character, it’s because he’s supposed to be the ideal of normalcy, that Alina both wants but can’t have as long as she seeks the amplifiers.) The Grisha don’t factor into that equation.

Alina doesn’t have a solution for giving the Grisha a safe existence where they won’t be sold into slavery, won’t be persecuted by the world, and won’t be forever Othered. She stumbles upon the vague promise of fixing the last of those problems when she runs into Nikolai (purely by chance, or, if you want to stretch it, The Darklings machinations). Furthermore, she doesn’t want to do any of that - she wants normalcy, remember? Her story isn’t going to be saving the Grisha - that’s not what it’s about.

The Darklings entire character motivations focus on all of the plot points that Alina doesn’t hit. He wan’t to make a safe existence for Grisha, he wants Grisha to no longer be persecuted and Othered. How is he going to do it? By ugly means, yes, but he’s going to achieve it nonetheless.

The Darkling has motivations that are not addressed in the Shadow and Bone Trilogy. They aren’t what the story is about, or what the story chooses to focus on. His story is a braided narrative that is too complicated for the simplistic, black and white story that the Shadow and Bone Trilogy is.

So here’s the problem: the story insists the Darkling is the bad guy, but he can’t possibly be the bad guy if his intentions are Good, and there is no other way. Until Alina finds another way, he is a martyr - he is the Starless Saint. The Saint who was misguided, sure, but the only Saint who tried to solve things.

The Darkling is not fit for Shadow and Bone. His story and what he advocated for isn’t resolved by the end of the trilogy. So when he dies, it feels unearned. It’s tragic - and perhaps there is some beauty in that tragedy, or some lesson to be learned about how you cannot justify evil means for a good end - but it feels undeserved. His problems aren’t addressed. He is defeated, but his cause and his essence aren’t put to sleep.

King of Scars: A Cause Without Its Martyr;

Which leads us to the Nikolai duology.

Like I said - The Darklings’ problems are forgotten in Alina’s narrative. So what happens when we break out of that point of view? After a brief (and iconic) interim with the Crows, we are back in Ravka and the Grisha are still struggling with the problems that Shadow and Bone failed to address. Ravka is still dying, but now that we have gotten rid of a reluctant cast of characters and have made distance from the trope-heavy Shadow and Bone, we are better equipped to save her.

But here’s a question - can we ignore the man who pioneered these problems in favor of a more palatable cast? Can we not address the Darkling while picking up the sword he used?

Leigh Bardugo needs to reclaim the Grisha Problem by stealing it from the Darkling’s grasp. That proves to be difficult, given that we’ve killed him and have given him a tragically beautiful death. Absence has made the heart grow fonder, and in his final moments, the Darkling was not the evil Shadow Summoner but rather Alexander Morozova - the boy within. Readers (even those who didn’t like the Darkling) might be more endeared to him now that everything is said and done.

We need to separate the Darkling from his cause.

Enter the Cult of the Starless Saint and the Condemnation of the Starless.

To remind readers that the Darkling is bad, Leigh Bardugo does a few things. Firstly, she has her characters repeatedly condemn the Darkling. On one hand, it makes sense and feels genuine. On the other hand, it can be a little excessive. Sometimes, the vehemence reads like what it is - Leigh Bardugo is giving us reasons to hate the Darkling again. Add on the fact that Nikolai’s monster is Bad and one of few remnants of the Darkling still surviving, and you get a lot of hate.

Except, ah! The more we talk about the Darkling, the more we are reminded of what he stood for!

So we have to strip him of that - we have to take his legacy and drag it through the mud. Thus, we create The Cult of the Starless Saint. They represent the Darklings legacy and status in history - were his intentions Good Enough to grant him mercy? To give him Sainthood?

Spoiler alert: They are not. Not as portrayed by the Cult of the Starless Saint.

The Cult is a laughing stock. They don’t have a stance of the Grisha, they’re worship of the Darkling is meant to be seen as mocking Alina’s sacrifice, and the main priest readers interact with is the receiving end of a slew of jokes. They don’t care about anything the Darkling cared for, and they don’t really want to help Grisha. This is done to muddy the waters - if the people who emulate the Darkling are selfish and without cause, well... the Darkling clearly wasn’t Good. They just think his shadow powers were cool and want him to be a Saint. They exist to slander the Darkling.

So now we have separated the Darkling from his cause, and the story continues. The Darkling is Bad. He doesn’t have a legacy. His cause is passed on to others.

But (because we’re Delta airlines and life is a f*cking nightmare) it doesn’t end there. We bring the Darkling back from the dead.

*long sigh*

Resurrection? The Curse of a Second Life;

I have wracked my brain for many an evening, trying to give reason as to why we brought the Darkling back. The obvious answer is for his role at the end of Rule of Wolves - we need him to hold the rift of the Making at the Heart of the World together. However, when Leigh Bardugo introduces real Saints, he’s not needed. Suddenly, we have a slew of characters who could do the same. Furthermore, part of why this rift exists is because the Darkling was brought back. If he is both the cause and the solution, the conflict didn’t need to be there in the first place - especially considering how inconsequential it was to the narrative.

If I had to pin a reason as to why we brought the Darkling back, it was simply to further push the Darkling from his original motivation. He comes back and... doesn’t do much. He doesn’t seem to have the same care for Grisha, he has watered down character traits, and he largely does nothing. The Darkling in the Nikolai Duology is Not The Darkling because he’s a shell of the character he used to be.

Bringing him back from the dead was unsatisfying, and it weakens his original ending. As I have mentioned in other posts, the Darkling coming back cheapens whatever meaning readers gleaned from his ending. The Darkling is resurrected and he doesn’t truly seem to care about anything - which is the direct opposite of what the Darkling has been shown to be.

The Darkling has been bastardized in any appearance he’s made after The Demon in the Wood, and ultimately, it leads to a rather anticlimactic end for such a distinctive, hallmark character.

But let’s really quick establish why the sacrifice the Darkling makes at the end of this book is unfulfilling.

Because, in the final moments of Rule of Wolves, the Darkling gets his moment of penance and sacrifice - he chooses to hold the rift. It’s said he will have to hold it for eternity. You would thing that this would leave an impact!

However, as is, this ending leaves much to be desired for a few reasons:

The Darkling has been so far removed from his character, that when he states, “Everything I did, I did for Ravka,” it feels... incorrect? It sounds like the hollow, misguided claims of a tyrant king, because for an entire Duology, the Darkling has been bastardized and has been the cause of a blight that is killing Ravka. His presence is actively killing the country he claims to serve, and as for actions, he has done very little for Ravka, and nothing for the Grisha. The last time he did anything of substance was before Six of Crows!

None of the characters present for his sacrifice have any sympathy for the Darkling. The Darkling chooses to sacrifice himself, and we get no emotional closure. Alina isn’t there to whisper his name and mourn him, and while Zoya gets the glimmer of weak pity, we have much reason to believe that Zoya mostly feels disenchanted because he will be praised as a martyr and not hated as the evil man she knew him to be (more on that here). There isn’t sympathy so much as there is bitterness and the semblance of the remnants of tattered respect shining in the dim light.

The final chapter of Rule of Wolves tells us that it’s all going to be made inconsequential in the coming books, when they are going to replace the Darkling with something else. The Darkling won’t even get his full sacrifice, because he is undeserving of a redemptive act of selflessness.

So now, where do we leave the Darkling? For two books, we have separated him from his initial cause, watered down his character and motivations, and given him ends that are largely unsatisfying.

We’ve actually started to fix the Grisha problem, and there’s something interesting to be said in that it’s fixed by Zoya Nazyalensky, who goes up through the chain of command in a very similar fashion as to how the Darkling planned. She was a General, and then she became Queen of Ravka - the acting monarch, no less - with a beloved public figure on her arm (which, in the Darkling’s case, would have been Alina).

So I am left to wonder - was the lesson, then, indeed, that you cannot justify evil means for a good end? Was the moral of the Darkling all along about how you must be good throughout - with good acts and good intentions - in order to make change and be revered for it? If so, why did Leigh Bardugo slander the Darkling retroactively, the way she did?

If the problem was his actions and not his intentions, why insist that his intentions were devoid of meaning, as well?

Aleksander Morozova: What We Buried;

Now, you all knew I was going to get here eventually, and if you’ve made it, congrats. We are now talking about the emotion behind the deed, the man behind the monster, the boy swallowed by the shadows.

I believe it is pivotal to understand that Leigh Bardugo has always wanted us to struggle with our feelings over the Darkling. She wanted a character that you could sympathize with, she wanted a character with humanity, and she wanted a reason for his villainy. I think that Shadow and Bone, for all of its failings, gave us that. There’s a reason why there is such a big divide over the Darkling in the original trilogy. He was a compelling character! Somewhere along the way, Leigh Bardugo lost that nuance of her own character. At some point, she resorted to stripping him of his meaning and slandering his image.

Perhaps I am playing the Devil’s Advocate again, but I believe this was intentionally done.

Because one has to ask - why slander the Darkling? A large portion of the fanbase already hates him, so cheapening his character is doing nothing for them other than giving them sweet vindication, which is unnecessary and only disenchants the other half of your audience. There has to be some deeper reasoning. Leigh Bardugo wanted this character to be sympathetic, so why, now, does she want him to be two-dimensional?

Once more, I am asking you to think back to the original trilogy. What was the main moral? That power, no matter how good-intentioned the pursuit of it is, corrupts. What is the Darklings purpose of coming back again if not to simply have power? He certainly shows no other motive than lusty greed, after being resurrected.

And even if we ignore his lust for power, as he so willingly gives it up to Zoya Nazyalensky in the end of Rule of Wolves, we have two other corrupting forces that could account for the degradation of his character - time, and death.

We know the Darkling to have lived for eons, and he would have continued to live on for an eternity more. There is nothing like time to truly corrupt a character’s vision, and there is nothing like death and resurrection to husk a character.

In fact, if Mal’s character did anything of importance when it comes to effecting the Darkling, it lies in the epilogue of Ruin and Rising, where it is stated that “the boy and the girl had both known loss.” Mal’s loss is equated to Alina being stripped of her power - that is the power of having died, and being forcefully brought back to life. That is a vague basis for which we readers can compare what it must have been like for the Darkling to come back - even if he is so desensitized to feeling, that he doesn’t remark on it himself.

But let’s keep chugging on.

When we first met the Darkling in 2012 Shadow and Bone, he was unfeeling. He was cold and harsh. There was something beneath the surface, yes, but there were thick sheets of ice in the way. You had to mine for it. Time had already warped the actions of his intentions. It’s expected that time would continue to do its damage, and when he is revived in King of Scars, his intentions are warped as well. He is nothing of the person he used to be other than memories and power. That is why, at the end of Rule of Wolves, when he states that he did everything for Ravka, it feels hollow - that was once true, but the Darkling has even lost that. He has the vague impression of it, but nothing you can sink your teeth into.

I think, had this idea been looked at in deeper depth, it would have been a far more compelling story. Had Rule of Wolves really dedicated itself to showing the Darkling’s conflict of his current apathy, and the knowledge that there was once a time he possessed meaning, we could have found the marrow of his arc. If the book had made an allusion to this concept, his character would have been more satisfying. But as it stands, the Darkling is just degraded in the later books, and unless you really search for meaning, there isn’t any.

And perhaps, if the Darkling had been a different character - a character who, at his core, was more unfeeling - the way we left him would feel okay.

But while The Darkling was harsh and cruel, Aleksander Morozova wasn’t, and that’s what has us all hung up on his character.

If you haven’t read The Demon in the Wood for whatever reason, do yourself a favor and read that instead of revisiting the show’s version of his villain origin story. The show made the Darkling far less compelling by showing him as the grief stricken Black Heretic, rather than the boy within. When we meet Aleksander, he is a boy who is afraid of the world, who has never belonged in it or with others, and who is, ultimately, afraid of himself. With his mother, Baghra, he has taken on a thousand names and traveled a thousand places, and all the while, he is afraid of getting too close to others because he is an amplifier and he knows that if any Grisha were to find out, they would kill him for his power.

Thus, there is so much nuance to his relationship with the Grisha. He is one of them, but he is not. To hark back to our history lesson, he is the exact opposite of the “specially Othered” character that is so often given to protagonists. Instead of acting as a go-between, he is the one person that everyone - Grisha and otkazat’sya - can come together to kill.

And as a little boy, he knows that. He knows he has to stay in the shadows, and yet, he is deathly afraid of the dark - afraid of that which sets him apart, and that which he cannot escape.

This is poignant because at the root of every great character is a singular, vulnerable emotion, and for the Darkling, it is fear. And most importantly, fear of the shadows.

When he meets Alina, we truly see the strength of their duality. We truly see why he was so drawn to Alina - why he could so easily fall in love with her, despite the years and despite the tide, and despite his fear of letting others in. She is his equal and opposite - with her, there are no shadows. There is no fear. The fact that he lets Alina use him as an amplifier is so telling of his deep feelings for Alina.

Where each reader draws the line between their dynamic - either him truly loving Alina, or him simply loving and obsessing over the idea of her - is for the individual to decide. The wonderful thing about the Darkling in his current state in the original Shadow and Bone Trilogy is that he still has good intentions within him, no matter how corrupted by his evil actions. Whether or not they truly could have been is up to each person because the question over whether or not Alina could “purify” the Darkling was never deeply explored. We will never know if she could save him, or if it would have destroyed her in the end. Whether or not you want her to try is personal preference.

Again, Alina didn’t want to fully commit to that act, and so we readers will never truly know. Luckily, fanfiction exists.

But, I didn’t name this section “what we buried” for nothing, and I think it’s important to note that even in the beginning of The Demon in the Wood, the Darkling was already on his way toward a darker, harsher existence.

Baghra, from presumably the moment he was born, groomed the Darkling to be a certain way - the same way as her, a survivor with little hope, living for the sake of living and fighting for the sake of a meal. She had no plans to save the world - it was only after the Darkling had a run in with the possibility of death that he unearthed a deep desire within him - the desire to save the Grisha. Before that, it was buried.

Before that, the Darklings' desires were buried beneath his mother’s words and buried beneath the dirt that settled over his heart like a shallow grave, because his connection to others was buried as well. Baghra did that, and whether or not she was misguided or if she was the smarter of the two is an essay better tackled by looking at her, specifically, which we won’t do here.

As we’re reaching the end, I feel like I have earned the right to be cliche and quote the Darkling’s thoughts from when he was still a boy, but already a shadow. In The Demon in the Wood, he thinks:

“My father is dust. You all are.”

At such a young age, the Darkling has already lost his grip. Already, he knew he would outlive and outlast anyone, and this heavy knowledge was already piling up, and he was slowly being buried alive in his own infinence.

It was only ever inevitable that his story would end like this - with a detached man who was once a hopeful boy, but could no longer recall what such confidence tasted like - so perhaps the tragic beauty in the end of Ruin and Rising was not that he died, it was that he wasn’t given an end.

— Special kudos to @onceupon-a-decembr who let me scream about this with her, and another kudos to @musicallisto who introduced me to a book series that I will never stop screaming about. Ever.

— tagging: @maybanksslut, @musicallisto, @catsbooksandmusic, @thefifthweasley, @thegirlwhocriedwerewolf, @amirahiddleston, @lachichapequena, @mrs-brekker15, @amortensie // add yourself to the taglist here!

#grishaverse #grishaverse meta #shadow and bone #shadow and bone meta #meta #meta analysis #writing #the darkling #aleksander morozova #the darkling meta #i am once again ranting about the grishaverse #if miss leigh bardugo wants me to stop analyzing her characters and (kind of drag her) she better put me in the writers room.#or put me in the show her choice #and there's more i could have added to this smh #but i feel like people stop reading after 5.6k words.

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thesandbeneathmytoes · 3 years

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Mayans Season 3

Soooooooooooooooo I have a lot of thoughts. Like, a lot. No one asked for this but some of you did express enthusiasm when I told you I was gonna go AWF, so here we go.

DISCLAIMER: I should perhaps also mention that this is simply a critique of the finished product — I understand, of course, there were other issues that affected the production of the season that perhaps didn’t affect seasons one and two, such as Covid and some of the confusion after the departure of Sutter. Some might say, however, that this season without Sutter was easier because there was less tension on set (I’m just re-counting what some of the cast have intimated). Ultimately, though, I really just want this to be a critique of the finished product, in the way that I assume all creators and artists want their work to be judged… Standing alone versus as a potential outcome of problems or challenges.

It’s probably clear by now that I wasn’t a huge fan of this season, so first I’ll start off with what I did like:

*SPOILERS, OBVIOUSLY*

• The cinematography was really nice. We got a lot of great wide shots that made us feel how expansive these worlds are, how lonely the desert, how wide the ocean, etc. They showed us the freedom that comes with this life but also how small it can make you feel when you get swallowed up in it. Scenes were also a lot less dark-lit, which was great cuz I didn’t have to mess with my screen’s contrast as much, so that was appreciated.

• There was also some beautiful color work this year. A lot of oranges and purples that I appreciated. EZ was almost always beautifully framed. We got some nice close ups of Angel as well. The scene with the tear running down his cheek was beautiful, which leads me to:

• THE ACTING: Danny Pino was far and away the best for me. His microexpressions, his ability to change emotions on a dime, his capacity for showing us the exact thoughts going through Miguel’s head, as well as his continued excellence at portraying Miguel’s duality and his divided loyalties (his family of origin vs. his current family, his American vs. Mexican heritage, his classy Cornell acapella-singing [!] self vs. his ruthless cartel persona) never ceases to impress me. Carla is amazing as well, she gave me chills in pretty much every scene. Sometimes I remember that she’s my age (30) and I’m just like holy shit, where did all this poise and presence and focus come from?? Couldnt be me! Honorable mentions include Clayton Cardenas (aforementioned crying scene, “WHERE THE FUCK IS RAMOS?!”), Michael Irby/Alexandra Barreto (diner scene), Felipe (telling Gaby to go scene...most scenes with Gaby), Emily Tosta, and Holland Roden. Richard Cabral did great too, although his storyline bored me so much that I couldn’t really pay attention to his excellent performance. Hope also was a distraction for me, but (much) more on this later. JD was pretty strong throughout, although some of his scenes (especially the ones with Gaby) were so poorly written that I imagine it was hard to make them anything but wooden (more on this later too, unfortunately). Sulem was hit or miss for me, but I felt like she hit her stride later in the season, and by the end, I fully bought it. MOMO RODRIGUEZ made me feel everything. There was a nuance and a depth to his performance that I was not expecting. It was a beautiful surprise to have a comic character (and a comedian) bring such an important role to the show. I loved that they made him symbolic of the heavy toll this life can take (I regret his death, but I think it was a wake up call) and how you can’t always escape your pain. And the fact that EZ was the one to try and tell him otherwise, emphasizing his own internal struggle, was especially poignant and heartbreaking, which now leads me to:

• THEMES: I liked a lot that we got to explore some of these character’s inner worlds more this season, and that we finally got to see the emotional consequences for what these characters have done and who they are. I never watched SOA, but from what y’all have said on here, it seems like more of those characters acted with impunity and were largely unphased by their own demons. It’s really nice to see the Mayans own up to what they’ve done and the lives they’ve chosen, from EZ, who wonders about the darkness inside of him and if he always was this way (see: theme of fate, later in this paragraph) to Alvarez, regretting what he’s done and who he has been (killing his own son) and wanting to live a new life, but not sure he deserves it. Angel’s monologue about “no happy endings in this town” was especially revelatory as well. It was also nice to see POCs, notably POC men, allowed to explore their emotions, cry, and lift back the curtain on what this kind of life does to your fucking soul. It humanizes the characters and liberates them from the Latinos = gangsters trope that we’re all so used to seeing, the very racist trope that ludicrously & infuriatingly suggests that POC men, especially Latinos, are almost meant to be gangsters and have no qualms about it whatsoever, that they are good at it because they are unburdened by the strict moral code that governs white people (LOL @1/6/2021). The theme of FATE was also drawn upon heavily, and I really liked that. It harkened back to S1 [Church of] Coco and the conversation he had with EZ on Celia’s floor, talking about how “everything that happens is what was meant to happen.” He insists that even though EZ thought he was supposed to be the “Golden Boy,” he ended up in the MC for a reason, maybe that other life was never an option for him at all. We now know that part of the reason his parents encouraged his Golden Boy persona so much was as a way to KEEP him from indulging his darker side. I liked the development of this theme a lot, but it did, unfortunately, also cause some problems, which leads me to:

PROBLEMS WITH MAYANS MC SEASON 3:

Characterization: I think this season suffered from what TV can often suffer from when a new person takes the helm, which is a lack of continuity from previous seasons… I understand, of course, that the characters were going through a lot this season, but I don’t think that warrants a total change in their personalities. The biggest offenders here, for me, were Angel and Coco. While we certainly had an idea that Angel, before he was with Adelita, was something of a hoe, I didn’t get the vibe that he was quite as insouciant or uncaring with his partners as he definitely seemed to be in Season 3. I understand why the show wanted to portray him that way—he was hurting—but it just seemed out of character to me that he would jump from partner to partner, so easily make intense commitments, and somehow be obsessed with creating a family life when that never really seemed to be his focus before… His focus on the baby in Season 2 seemed to be confined to Adelita. Coco, on the other hand, seemed to be very interested in his romantic relationship with Hope this season which really baffled me. Coco in previous seasons was almost the spiritual or kind of mystic element of the show – – his “Church of Coco” musings were, as I previously said, sort of a vehicle to highlight the element of fate as a theme in the show. For me, this made perfect sense as a place for him to be, partially because Richy himself is sort of woo woo (I mean this as the highest of compliments). To see him thrust into a somewhat arbitrary (for me) romantic relationship felt so forced, not only because their sex scene was incredibly dry and uncomfortable to watch (LOL), but also because it just didn’t make sense that Coco would risk everything for this woman he knew nothing about… And even at the expense of his relationship with Letty. As @drabbles-mc mentioned, why spend all this time developing Coco’s relationship with Letty when you’re just gonna destroy it? It feels disrespectful to the writing that has gone before… Speaking of, I want to address the EZ equals psychopath road that we now seem to be going down. As I mentioned earlier, I’m glad that they addressed that his scholarliness and the encouragement of that by his parents was a tactic to distract him from the “darkness” inside of him, however, it feels strange that all of a sudden they are intimating that he has a very very deep darkness inside of him that we didn’t really see in previous seasons. I suppose you could make the argument that it was there before, however I would’ve liked it to be revealed a little bit slower and perhaps have more references to it in previous seasons if you’re going to make this case now. It just feels a little incongruous to what we know about EZ that he is a psycho on the inside… Because that’s what they seem to be suggesting — that he’s dark and can’t be anything but dark. I guess I just would’ve liked to see a more gradual reveal of that versus him saying that he’s always been dark and he knows because of a Goya painting? Seems weird. Like, how is he Dexter all of a sudden? Finally, the Nestor/Álvarez situation at the end: are you telling me that Alvarez really would give a fuck about the Mayans after Bishop betrayed him, especially at the expense of his own life if Miguel figured out that he didn’t do what was asked of him? And how is Nestor, who has always been undyingly faithful to Miguel, all of a sudden going to flake out on his duties, especially when he knows how important this is to Miguel???

Writing/storylines: So, to the extent that this is a separate issue than just simple characterization, I would say that this was the biggest problem for me this season. Lazy writing was a real issue for me and that it took me out of the plot and the moment many times. As I mentioned before, there were some scenes with Gaby and EZ that just felt so stilted that I really couldn’t take them seriously – – the scene in the church comes to mind. In addition to this, there were some plotlines that just felt tired or unnecessary, or didn’t link up. The Angel/Hank/Nails storyline, for example, just seems so boring… We just did a unexpected pregnancy storyline last season with Angel – – why did we need one again? Have they just run out of ideas for him? And to put Nails into the position of baby mama just feels kind of disrespectful to her character. Does every woman in this show need to have her uterus or sex life be a plot line? Bishop is another character that I feel like was done a little bit dirty the season. While I previously mentioned that I adored the scene with him in the diner, I was confused by the purpose of his dead son storyline. As emotional as it was and as great as the performances that it produced were, it didn’t really tie into anything else in the season. I understand that they were trying to give some background to Bishop’s character, but it just seemed like kind of a one-off considering it lasted for a few episodes and then was never brought up again. Perhaps they were trying to show us that everyone lost family or had to compromise something to be part of the MC, but if that was the case, then I would’ve liked to see it be tied to his decisions or his story later on. Maybe they could’ve done something like show that his dedication to the club was because they are the only family he has now that he lost his son? Or that he is wildin’ out now and tryna be the one king because he has nothing left to lose? Idk, maybe that was implied but I certainly didnt catch it — it would’ve been nice to have a more explicit connection there, because to me it just kinda felt like they showed us his pain and then forgot about it and just made him this crazed bloodthirsty madman. I also want to talk a little bit about undelivered upon promises – – Elgin said in a review before the season came out that we would get to see a little bit more into the backstory of each character and why they joined the MC – as I mentioned before, we got a little more about different characters lives but we didn’t necessarily see the why, which is something I really would’ve liked to know. I also was hoping for more social commentary than in fact happened this season – – the new intro seemed to suggest that we would get more of an emphasis on Latinx history or culture or social clashes, but in fact, such references were few and far between, as far as I could tell (although totally possible I missed some stuff). One scene, or rather, one line, that I really really enjoyed was when Gaby said “I risked my life to come here and I try to survive every day and you choose to flirt with death. That’s the privilege of being an American.” I found this line SO powerful, but it was almost a throw-away, and I really wish it had been touched upon more. I was looking forward to learning more about this and having it portrayed in such a Latinx-centered way would’ve been cool to see.

Ok, this is likely to be the most unpopular section of this post (for those of you who are even still around LOL), but I’m including a list of all the plotholes, inconsistencies, or unexplained events from this season, of which there were many. If anyone has an answer to these, please let me know:

Taza and Riz: I’m supposed to believe that he killed Riz just because he wanted to start a war with Palo? Because palo killed his lover over 20 years ago?? Like, could he not have started a war with Palo without involving Riz? And when he said “I didn’t know how many people would get hurt?” What??? How could you possibly have thought that a. Murdering your brother and b. Starting a war with the VM over a personal issue wouldn’t result in carnage?

Dead SOA ppl: why did Chibs never come calling to find out who killed Thomas (?) last season? Or Montez? I know that Montez wasn’t actually killed by the Mayans but he was placed in the Mayans parking lot or whatever so wouldn’t that raise some suspicions??? All that they said about Thomas was that he disappeared and the Sons didn’t know what happened? @starrynite7114

What was the point of the whole Lobos Sonora thing? Why did Palo need to talk to them to get involved with the Tucson mayans? Could he not have just gone to Canche himself? Was this something that they were doing to set up next season? If so, it seems like a long walk to get there…

Speaking of Canche, how the fuck did that cockroach survive a bomb?

Who tipped off border patrol on the night that they tried to move the drugs from the tunnel? Was it the girl in jail? And how come we never heard from her again? Just one of many plotlines that was started and then never revisited.

The Miguel/Felipe thing: We got so close but never actually got there. Are we gonna have to wait a whole other season for this?

Speaking of paternity, who is actually the father of Adelitas baby? I’m kind of OK with not knowing if the baby is alive or dead but I’m ready to know who the father was… Again, I don’t wanna wait another season to wrap this up.

Additionally, did Adelita actually hurt Potter’s family? Did she kill them? It was very unclear.

They essentially said that Potter shut down the border out of spite after the Adelita thing happened… What the fuck does that mean? Are you trying to tell me that a government official can just randomly shut down the border whenever he wants? And what was it about the Adelita thing that pissed him off? That he captured her? That EZ and Angel got one over on him? I really don’t understand… Angel said in the first episode that “the shutdown affected me more than anyone,” ostensibly because he lost his partner and child, but I just don’t see how Adelita and the shut down were related??

CHUCKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!! GTFOH with that weak-ass excuse.

Coco storyline:

Was he never gonna find out that Hope was the one who took the picture of him and set him up?

What about the fact that Letty essentially conned him into killing his mom?

Also, did Isaac really die? And what about the reaper tattoo on his side? Was he part of SOA? Was that ever going to be addressed? The story just wasn’t wrapped up at all and I cannot HANDLE any more Meth Mountain next season.

I guess my point in all of this is that I don’t have a problem with the cliffhangers per say – – but there’s a difference between “oh this is an exciting unknown that we can speculate about until next season” and “this is just messy writing where many story threads were begun this year and then never finished” or “we were supposed to wrap up storylines from two seasons ago and we just didn’t.” The latter two just feel sloppy to me, and I feel like that’s a lot of what went on this season. The whole show this year felt both slow and overstuffed, both uneventful and packed at the end. Perhaps it was a pacing issue, a problem of Elgin wanting to distinguish himself and pack so much in and make it so different from previous seasons that he bit off more than he could chew and it all became unfocused. As I read somewhere else, the problem when you have this many unfinished storylines is that they weigh you down for the next season – the writers now have to either spend the majority of next season addressing these questions or just forget about them and pretend they never happened, which feels disrespectful to the audience. I guess my hope is just that Elgin will find his footing and be able to deliver us a more cohesive, well-paced season next year. I fully believe he is capable of this, and if he continues to deliver on the things that did work about this season, we should be in good shape.

Tagging some ppl who have expressed interest in my thoughts: @yourwonkywriter @angelreyesgirl @megapeacelovemusic-blog @starrynite7114 @joannasteez @brattyfics @mareethequeen

#mayans mc season 3 #Mayans mc #mayans mc spoilers #Mayans mc season 3 spoilers #jd pardo #Clayton Cardenas #Danny pino #carla baratta #angel reyes #ez reyes #miguel galindo #Felipe reyes #edward james olmos #coco cruz #richard cabral #bishop losa #michael irby #chucky marstein #I love you chucky

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abeautifulblog · 5 years

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Inquit tags for fanfic writers

Inquit tags, ie, the said, asked, shouted when you're attributing dialogue to a character.

In terms of advice on the technical aspects of writing (versus the thematic or structural aspects), I don't think there's any topic that provokes the amount of outrage and absolutism that inquit tags do.

Some people say never use “said.”

Some people say never use anything but “said.”

Some people say never use -ly adverbs in conjunction with “said.”

Some people say never use inquit tags at all, just put your dialogue adjacent to an action by the same speaker.

Frankly, anything that prescriptivist is bullshit.

Which is why I'm saying upfront that nothing is categorically wrong. You are the writer, you know what feeling you're trying to convey, if “said” is what does it, or “said sadly” or “snarled” is what nails it, then fucking use it. Don't ever, ever feel like you need to change the words that you feel in your heart, just to adhere to what some rando on the internet says you should nEVeR DO!!11.

So what I'm here to talk about today are not do's and do-not's, but the options available to you-as-a-writer, the best uses and potential pitfalls of each, so that you can draw from a larger toolbox and be more conscious of the writing choices you're making.

Most of the example sentences here are self-indulgently taken from my fic A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood—context isn't necessary, but the names you'll be seeing the most are Robert (the main character and usually the viewpoint character), Gene (his love interest), and Mary (his best friend).

“Said”

This is absolutely 100% okay. “Said” is the most neutral, unobtrusive inquit tag in the English language, and so unless you're seriously, seriously overusing it, it's going to be all but invisible. Use it whenever you don't need/want the inquit tags to add nuance or substance, you just have to clarify who's speaking.

Then there's a buzz from the vicinity of Gene's pants, and they both pause.

“I feel like there's a joke to be made here,” Robert says.

“How about you guys? You enjoying the, uh… Freaky Tiki?”

“Oh yes,” Mary says. “You know Robert, he just loves to get his freak on, tiki-style.”

Robert tries to kick her again, but she dodges this time.

“...And since we all proceeded to stay lifelong friends, I think it's safe to conclude that no one was traumatized by the experience,” Gene says.

Although if you do find yourself using an unadorned said, you may want to read over the passage again and consider whether that inquit tag is necessary, or whether the speaker is already clear from context. For example, the following passages all have an action by the speaker adjacent to the dialogue, so you could cut the inquit tag with no loss of clarity. (Just turn “He” → “Robert”)

“Mmm, five more minutes,” Gene mutters, tucking his head and trying to curl into the blankets like a pillbug.

“Oh, no you don't,” Robert says. He works his hands up under Gene's stomach. “You're the one who wanted to go jogging at ass o'clock in the morning, so go forth and jog.”

“It was in Serbia in the late nineties,” Robert says. He picks up the thing in his hands and starts working on it again—whittling, Amanda realizes, though she can't tell what he's making yet. “Nasty place. I'd run afoul of the Russian mob, and they'd had me tied to a chair in a basement for three days. No food. No water. They'd knocked out half my teeth.”

Alex pauses from where he's wrestling Gene into the mattress. “I bet you a dollar I can take Smashley's clothes off with my teeth,” he says.

...But frankly, they read just fine as-is, and I'm not fussed about a handful of unnecessary “says” spread out across a 100k word fic. Editing out redundant inquit tags is one task (among many) in smoothing out clunky prose, but turning it into another dogma (THOU SHALT NOT USE A SINGLE UNNECESSARY “SAYS”!!) isn't actually going to make you a better writer, and you run the risk of losing nuance if you're bending over backwards trying to remove every single one of them on principle.

Like so:

“Please tell me you confessed an embarrassing sexual fetish,” Mary says at his silence. “Spare no details, I could use the leverage.”

That startles a laugh out of Robert. “Yeah,” he says. “Turns out he's not into the ol' Frisky Frogman. Egg on my face, let me tell you.”

At a glance, that “he says” seems unnecessary, because we've already got Robert laughing right before the dialogue, so he's clearly the speaker—but when I took half a second to think about it, I realized I wasn't using the inquit tag to indicate who was speaking, I was using it to suggest a pause after “Yeah.” Employing inquit tags to control the pacing of the dialogue isn't something that gets discussed a lot, but it's a very common technique, and a legitimate reason to leave them in.

Which is why I say: if your instincts are telling you to keep it, then even if you can't articulate a defense for why, listen to your instincts.

(I swear to fuck, 90% of being a good writer is just being in touch with your gut—which means not cutting something you love just because the writing manuals tell you to, and also means not keeping something that pings wrong every time you read it, just because you can defend its presence there.)

“Said ___-ly”

This one gets a lot of hate, and yeah, okay, it does kinda tend to be the lazy writer's fallback, but it's also silly to insist that some writers using it badly means that no writers can use it ever. You just have to be conscious of the effect it's producing.

Namely: that an -ly adverb is reflecting somebody's assessment of the action. It's not an objective description, it's a subjective description. In other words, that -ly adverb is not neutral, it's being colored by a specific person's opinion.

Which is why you must have a very firm handle on who your viewpoint character is for any given scene, and make sure that your adverbs are reflecting what they think/feel/perceive. If it doesn't align with what the viewpoint character's POV, then by default it belongs to someone else: and suddenly you've created a separate narrator, a distinct consciousness who observes the story from a distance.

And sometimes that's the effect you're going for—think of the witty and amusingly judgmental omniscient narrators in 19th century literature, that seem to sit up on high and watch the characters through opera glasses. Those stories have a strong, distinct narrative voice, one with an ironic distance from the action of the plot.

...BUT unless you're writing a regency AU, or a fourth-wall-breaking crackfic, that's usually not what fanfic is aiming for. Fanfic, as a genre, tends to value deep immersion in the mind of the viewpoint character, in which case those -ly adverbs must reflect the POV character's perspective, or it's going to disrupt that immersion.

So, tl;dr: whenever you find yourself with a -ly adverb, make sure it's reflecting the opinion(s) of the viewpoint character.

Here are some examples from Robert's POV, with -ly adverbs that describes how other characters in the scene sound to Robert:

“I saw you leaving with New Guy last night,” Mary says smugly. “Is he still there? Kick him out and get your ass over here. Come on. I raised you better than this. Bros before hos.”

“Do I even want to know how you got me an invite to this?” he asks. “Aren’t these things supposed to be, uh…” Hen parties, he doesn’t say.

“I told her I was bringing my gay friend,” Mary says blithely. “Straight chicks fuckin’ love gay friends.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Gene asks carefully, his expression difficult to decipher in the low light.

Adverbs for the protagonist

And here's where -ly adverbs are in the greatest danger of falling flat: when they're describing the viewpoint character's own actions.

Because you have to be very, very careful about how the viewpoint character describes themself; it has to align not with what they're doing, but with how they perceive themselves doing it—whether they're aware (or hyper-aware) of how they sound, or oblivious to it, or (most likely) somewhere in between. If the viewpoint character doesn't know how they're coming across, then they shouldn't be using adverbs that accurately describe themselves.

To show what not to do, I'm going to fabricate some examples rather than go trawling through shitty fanfic. But since my strongest memories of this particular sin are from Harry Potter fandom, Harry for a viewpoint character it is:

“I'm going after him,” Harry said brashly.

So: the decision Harry just made there might be a brash one. The tone in which he delivered that line might have been brash too. But “brash” has a value judgment in it, and a negative one at that—according to the dictionary, “self-assertive in a rude, noisy, or overbearing way; done in haste without regard for consequences”—and would Harry himself describe his actions that way? Very unlikely, since he's an idiot teenage boy who never recognizes his bad ideas for what they are, which means that such a judgmental adverb is coming from someone else's POV.

(Other words to watch out for are things like “oblivious” or “clueless”—because Harry may be oblivious or clueless, but by definition he doesn't know he is, so his own actions can't be described that way.)

Basically, just make sure it sounds like the character describing themselves, rather than being described by someone else.

Here are some examples of judgmental -ly adverbs, featuring Robert in social situations that make him profoundly uncomfortable (talking to his estranged daughter, talking to his crush), so he's hyper-aware when he's handling it badly:

There's a moment of awkward silence, and then he realizes that's because it's his turn to ask the question.

“How about you?” he asks belatedly. “You doing alright?”

(Note that this same scene, from his daughter's POV, might characterize that line very differently—like he missed his cue because he got bored and zoned out while she was talking.)

“Uh... hi. I ran into Mary at the corndog stand, she told me to give you this. Said she had to see a man about a horse.”

Bless that woman.

“Yeah, she does that,” Robert says nonsensically, reaching out and taking the corndog from Gene.

Adverbs can also just reflect how he thinks he sounds:

“Letting go of material attachments is the path to enlightenment,” Robert says amiably. He feels good; not even losing the whatever-it-was can dent that.

He feels Gene's hand close over his knee and give it a comforting squeeze. “Robert, it's okay.”

“It's really not,” he says tiredly.

Or they can be about the attitude the protagonist is actively trying to convey (doesn't matter whether or not they're trying to be convincing). Last example, from a Mary-POV passage:

“You're in luck,” she says sweetly. I-see-you-motherfucker, you-dodged-a-bullet-this-time sweet. “I have to be at the park by nine. Any later, and Karen's going to try to take over, and she's a fucking idiot. You saw what she did at the Christmas pageant.”

Just ask yourself: Does the viewpoint character think that they sound awkward/cheerful/meek/tired/etc? If so, then your adverb is fitting, full speed ahead.

Workarounds to avoid -ly adverbs

...are not, in and of themselves, any more sophisticated than just using the goddamned adverb. Like the two contrasting examples below:

“Language,” Joseph chides, like a reflex.

Robert takes a deep breath. “I need a drink,” he says reflexively.

You don't want your prose to get repetitive, which can be enough reason to reword an -ly adverb (say, if you find yourself with two or three lines of “said -ly” in a row, then absolutely, change some of 'em up), but “like a reflex” is not intrinsically superior to “reflexively.”

(And regarding what we talked about earlier: both of those examples are from Mary's POV. Those actions—Joseph chiding other people for using profanity, Robert wanting a drink—are ones that she characterizes as reflexive, and that's her assessment, not the speakers'.)

A brief aside on using deliberately ironic adverbs for comedic effect

“Uhm,” I said intelligently.

...is a joke that will never stop being funny to me. XD

A brief aside on unreliable narrators

...they are so much fun.

Because you should always, always keep in mind that the way your viewpoint character describes themselves and their own actions doesn't have to be accurate.

For all of us, there's a disconnect between how we see ourselves, and how other people see us, and this is one of the most fascinating dynamics you can explore as a writer—what your characters think of themselves, versus what other people think of them.

Robert, for example, is a man with a lot of deep-seated mental health issues, and one of his side effects is what's called blunted affect, i.e., that often he doesn't adequately emote what he's feeling. More to the point: he tends not to notice that he's doing it, so while he thinks he's doing fine (or at least passing for fine), there's a good chance he's coming across as flat/forbidding/hostile/cryptic/etc to the people around him.

I got to have a ton of fun with this in my fic, and one chapter in particular that gets retold three times from three different points of view. In Robert's chapter, there's a moment that goes like this:

It's hard for Robert to drag his eyes off Gene, but he makes himself do it, makes himself smile at Joseph and toss off an ironic salute. “Be good.”

...vs. how it looked to Gene:

But then Robert's eyes flick to Joseph again, and his smile turns to black ice.

“Be good,” he bites out coldly, all pretense of civility gone.

I daresay Gene's version is probably the objectively more accurate one, but it would have been wrong-wrong-wrong to describe it like that from Robert's POV because that's not what it felt like to him. He thought he was doing a good job pretending like he doesn't hate that guy.

Moreover, Gene's perspective isn't necessarily how it would have looked to every onlooker. Someone who wasn't so invested in Robert, and not paying as close attention to his reactions, might have been oblivious to the tension altogether.

If you want to tell an immersive story, then everything your narration notices—every description, every observation, every emotion—has to be rooted in your viewpoint character's consciousness. It doesn't matter whether they're right, it matters what they are.

When you should not use -ly adverbs

When they're redundant.

(Which is less reductionist than you might think—bear with me.)

The whole point of descriptive words, adjectives and adverbs both, is to make your writing more vibrant, more emotional, to make the picture in your readers' heads clearer and more real, so don't ever, ever feel obliged to cut your descriptors if they're critical in conveying your mental picture to the audience.

The real message is: don't use more words than you need to in order to get your point across.

I.e., would your meaning still come across the same way even if you left out the adverb?

Fabricated Bad Example:

“How dare you say that about her!” Harry said angrily.

...like, is “angrily” even needed to show that he's angry? (Is there any context in which “how dare you” isn't angry?) Pretty sure your readers don't need that spelled out for them.

Getting rid of descriptors just for minimalism's sake is bullshit, but redundant prose is clunky prose, and you will do your writing a great service if you can learn how to streamline it. This isn't something to obsess over while you're writing your first draft (it'll just distract you from getting into the flow), but keep an eye out for it in the editing stage.

When you should use -ly adverbs

…when you want to.

Seriously. If you're looking at an adverb and trying to decide whether it's reeeeally necessary to convey the feel you're after, and all the prescriptivist advice tells you that you should be trying to cut it, but goddamn it, it feels right—then keep it. Apologize to no one, and keep it, because you're probably right.

All of this advice, for the most part, is just to keep you from doing things thoughtlessly. To make you pay attention to your word choice, not get lazy and careless and slip into shit like--

“Where are you going?” he said curiously.

“Oh, nowhere,” she said offhandedly.

“What, you don't trust me?” he said sadly.

“No, I promise, I do,” she said reassuringly.

...None of those in isolation would be terrible, but “said -ly” can't be the only construction you ever use. It's like mood-whiplash between every line, and it gets very tedious on the ear. It feels like very unsubtle telling-not-showing. Variety is the spice of life, and it's absolutely the spice of prose.

It's rare that a line is bad in and of itself—more that you should just get in the habit of asking yourself, Is there a way to convey this better?

For instance: Does English already have a word for that?...

Substitutes for “said”

These also tend to get demonized, because in the wrong hands they can be so, so bad. I'm sure everyone here is familiar with fiction in which characters whine, bellow, yelp, and moan their way across the page, and it is p a i n f u l .

Said-substitutes aren't intrinsically bad, but they are much more noticeable than “said” or even “said -ly,” so when you use one, you have to make sure that it's the right inquit tag for the job—that you're using the word correctly and with precision, that it really does nail the feeling you're trying to convey. This is one area where thesaurus.com is not your friend, because it's all about the nuance, and just a half-turn off can make the difference between readers digging it, and readers cringing.

(If you're a non-native English speaker writing fic in English, I would recommend using said-substitutes very sparingly—they require a high degree of subtlety and instinct that classroom-learning is not going to give you. So until you've read enough on your own that you're very comfortable with the nuances of English, I would recommend just using “said” and adjacent-actions, which I talk about further down.)

Anyway, I divide the said-substitutes into two categories: words that have to do with the delivery of the utterance, and words that have to do with the content of the utterance.

Inquit tags that describe the delivery

By delivery, I mean how they said it—this is all your whispered, mumbled, shouted, snapped, blurted out, etc. And since these are all actions that real people do, none of these words are categorically wrong or off-limits; there are situations where they are the word for the job.

But if you're using them inappropriately (because, say, someone convinced you that you should never use “said” and so you're overreaching in search of an alternative), then it's going to stand out, a lot. It's going to feel false and contrived, producing an overall effect like a soap opera, with the readers picturing your characters doing these exaggerated and unnatural pantomimes.

On the other hand, they can be very good when used well. They will make your prose more varied and streamlined: “shouted” is a compact replacement for “said loudly and angrily”; “mumbled” replaces “said unintelligibly.” When you can replace a clunky phrase with a single, crisply precise word, your prose will be both more vivid and easier to read.

Some pretty basic examples:

“Robert!” Gene calls out in surprise, eagerly straightening in his chair.

“Alright, sweetheart,” Robert grunts, bending down to pick Betsy up. “Naptime for bad boys and girls.”

“Fuck, I'm sorry,” Gene whispers urgently against Robert's temple. “I'm so sorry.”

“Guys—I think you have seriously lost sight of the mission objectives. Winning isn't the point of strip poker.”

“Winning is always the point,” Smashley mutters, slapping down two cards. “Ante up.”

You'll notice that none of those inquit tags are super dramatic or emotional, which helps them do their job unobtrusively, without drawing attention to themselves and distracting the reader. “Calls out” is unremarkable, it just has to do with the volume. But if a character “cries out”... well. In the right situation, “cries out” is the tool for the job, but if it's a stretch, then believe me, I am going to notice. The more intense (or unusual) your inquit tag is, the more careful you have to be that the situation truly merits it.

“Oh, fuck me,” Robert groans, and puts his face on the table again. “Tell him Robert's not here. Tell him I'm a mannequin you prop up in your passenger seat so you can use the HOV lane.”

“Groan: to say something in a despairing or miserable tone.” And I would add, from my own sense of it, that it's also a very theatrical word—not just feeling misery and despair, but performing misery and despair. I wouldn't use this word for a moment of genuine anguish, it feels too overwrought for that, but it suits Robert being a drama queen.

“End me, Mary,” he mutters into the tabletop. “Put me out of my misery. It'd be doing the lord's work.”

“Aww, he's a little con man, just like you,” Mary coos into her champagne glass. “No wonder you're sweet on him.”

Likewise, “coo” describes such a contrived manner of speaking—affecting an unnatural, saccharine voice—that the range of uses in which it's truly applicable is very narrow. (Talking to kittens, or being a sarcastic asshole, basically.) It's specific, it's striking, it's a word that the readers are going to remember you having used, and therefore it should be used extremely sparingly (like, no more than once or twice a book), or else readers are going to walk away with the impression that your characters spent the whole book cooing at each other.

Because the more dramatic or uncommon your inquit tag, the greater its risk of failing—for words like screamed, roared, etc to work, emotions have to be running high, the dialogue itself has to already be peak drama, dial turned up to eleven, such that “screamed” truly is the only word for it.

And the fic I've been taking all these examples from turns out to be too low-key for any really emotional inquit tags (100k words with no screaming drag-out fights, what even), so this next example is actually from a moment I found memorable in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban:

“He would have killed me, Sirius!” “THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED!” roared Black. “DIED RATHER THAN BETRAY YOUR FRIENDS, AS WE WOULD HAVE DONE FOR YOU!”

I dig it. 👍

Peak fury, peak volume—there is no better word than “roared” for what he's doing here. You shouldn't be relying on over-dramatic inquit tags to try to pump up dialogue that's lacking oomph, but if your dialogue has the oomph, then by god, you need a suitable tag for it. “Black said” or even “Black shouted” are wildly inadequate for this moment, which makes this a very good use of a very dramatic inquit tag.

And before we leave this topic: this is why you should have beta readers. As the writer, you're seeing the trees; you need beta readers who can see the forest for you.

If you overuse a word—your beta readers can tell you. Moreover, the less common inquit tags can be really hit or miss for a lot of people, and your betas will let you know if you're missing. I loved Rowling's use of “roared” in the scene above, but the same inquit tag in a lower-stakes situation would have me going, *snorf*, Did he now? Is he a lion? It would throw me right out of the story.

Which is why you should listen to your betas if they delicately tell you that your use of “bellowed” or “howled” or whatnot is making them snicker in what's supposed to be a very serious scene—because they're probably not going to be the only one.

Inquit tags that describe the content

The other category of said-substitute inquit tags are ones that aren't about the delivery, but about the semantic content of the utterance, like, what is this dialogue accomplishing? The simplest and most common inquit tags in this category are words like “asked” or “replied,” but the list is endless: explained, agreed, suggested, insisted, warned, pointed out, argued, announced, protested, admitted, complained, and so on.

“Alright, just thought I'd offer,” Gene concedes, all easy acquiescence that Robert doesn't trust in the slightest. He's hitched his horse to a con artist; he knows better than to think he's heard the last of this.

“If you need someone whacked, I know a guy who knows a guy,” Robert offers.

“Take the money and run,” advises Robert. “I don't know what you're talking about, but that's always the right answer.”

“I have acquired your frozen vegetables,” she announces. “There is definitely nothing in my hands but frozen vegetables.”

“Get a dog,” Robert suggests. “I've got the hookups, I can get you one under the table. High quality, only lightly used.”

“Do you think they’re on a date-date?” Mary wonders aloud.

“He can date whoever he wants,” Robert mutters.

I like this type of inquit tag a lot, and in my experience it tends to disappear into the flow of the story a lot more smoothly than inquit tags describing delivery.

A final note on inquit tags

Despite what prescriptivists would have you believe, neither “said” nor said-substitutes are inherently better or worse than the other. Use them both, use them creatively, use whichever one is most appropriate. The only error is blind adherence to someone's arbitrary “rule” of creative writing, because it can make you lose touch with the nuances of language.

For example:

“I want to run a sort of reverse Monte Carlo scam at the next game,” Gene continues through a yawn, half rambling, “but I need someone to back my play. Or at least give me a convincing alibi.”

“Is that the one where you steal a baby?”

“If you like,” Gene says agreeably. “Who am I to interfere with your creative vision?”

Someone who's been convinced that “said -ly” is a sin is going to want to change that, and they're probably going to reach for “agreed” as the proper substitute—but it's not, it's not the same meaning at all.

So take ideas, take input, entertain different configurations for your words, but in the end, have faith in your own creative compass to decide what's best for your story.

What is not an inquit tag

...Is up for some debate.

Because there are many actions (sighed, coughed, laughed, snorted, breathed) that involve noises people make with their mouths, often in conjunction with speech, and sometimes it's ambiguous whether they can be used as inquit tags.

When in doubt, though, my advice would be... don't. Put it adjacent to the dialogue, but don't use laughed/sighed/etc as the inquit tag itself.

“Well. You're not wrong about Robert having problems, but...” Gene pauses, then sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “I don't know what to tell you, sweetheart. Just that we don't fall in love with people because they're going to be easy. Or apparently I don't, anyway.”

Because you don't sigh a whole sentence--he spoke, and then he sighed, but those were separate acts. A rare exception to this could be when the dialogue is a very short, like a single word: a name, or an “ohh,” or a “Bullshit,” someone coughed from the next cubicle over, something brief enough to say in an exhale:

“We're... taking it slow.”

“Jesus,” she huffs, settling down against his shoulder again. “How has that man not died of thirst yet.”

That's the only example I could find in my work, but I wouldn't find it distracting to come across “Oh, Harry,” he sighed or “Shit,” she breathed in someone else's story.

However, if the action does not involve speaking then it full-stop cannot be an inquit tag.

“I don't know,” he shrugged.

WRONG WRONG.

That's not even ambiguous, but it's a mistake I've seen before, and it is wrong. “Shrug” is not an action of speaking, it's the action of moving your shoulders and/or upper body in a particular way. It is not a speech act, and therefore it cannot be used as an inquit tag, the end. I don't get dogmatic about much, but that's not a style choice, that's a usage error. You'd have to do it like this:

He shrugged. “I don't know.”

Which is fine—it's a line that wouldn't give me a moment's pause if I read it in a book. But you'll notice that shrug is not the inquit tag there, it is an adjacent action. Which leads us into our next section...

No inquit tags at all

Instead, you pair the bit of dialogue with an action by the speaking character; being in the same paragraph, adjacent, makes it clear that it's the same subject for both, and allows you to skip the inquit tags altogether.

This technique is great—it's an elegant way to streamline your prose, and a good reminder to incorporate character physicality into the scene, using body language to add nuance and keeping track of the who-goes-where choreography. (If you forget to include this, you wind up with the prose equivalent of two disembodied heads talking over a greenscreen.)

Mary rolls her eyes. “So does that mean he's finally convinced you to move in with him?”

Robert tries not to fidget under her regard. “More like he hasn't kicked me out yet.”

Both sentiments could have been conveyed with adverbs, but “she said exasperatedly” and “he said uncomfortably” aren't particularly sophisticated, and it gets real stale real fast if that's the only way you ever convey tone.

Mary hums thoughtfully. “That'll make the barbecue fun.”

He cracks an eye at her, feeling a sudden sense of foreboding. “What barbecue?”

“Yes, well. I don't like exercising, but I do like the results.” Gene smiles at Robert and folds his arms behind his head in a stretch that is pure peacocking. “And having someone to impress turns out to be a very good incentive.”

“Our building doesn't allow dogs, but we've been thinking about getting a cat.”

He blinks at the plural pronoun. “We? Does that mean you're, uh. Seeing someone?”

Val shoots him a level look. “Yeah, Dad. Naomi. You've met her.”

At his side, Gene draws in deep breath, then reaches over and takes his hand. “Robert... there's something I need to tell you.”

And there are some published writers who eschew inquit tags altogether and maintain that you should never-ever-ever use anything but these adjacent-actions.

Frankly, I think that's taking it too far—there's plenty of room for creativity within inquit tags, even within “says -ly” inquit tags, and you are tossing the baby out with the bathwater if you don't allow yourself to use all the tools at your disposal.

IN CONCLUSION

There is no right or wrong technique for assigning dialogue. The technique(s) you use more frequently will contribute to the “feel” of your writing and will be part of what defines your unique voice as a writer, which can range from the mind-numbing minimalism of Hemingway to Anne Rice's florid periphrases, but none of it is wrong, so long as it's the story you want to tell, the way you want to tell it.

So go forth and tell your story. :)

#gremble's narratology #writing advice #and now for something completely different

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vampyrekat · 5 years

Note

oh my god yes for glenya on that last post about good girl/bad guy ships????? bc anya totally makes gleb want to be better than the role he’s in. he never knew why his life didn’t quite fit right and anya comes along and just personifies what could change for the better. she’s an utter rejection of everything he’s been raised to think was good- she’s irreverent, brave, proud, and hot headed. not to mention a total snack. and anya herself, well, she just has a thing for a guy in uniform.

[in reference to this post by @qqueenofhades who’s opinions and fic-writing I admire greatly.]

The good girl/bad boy character dynamic is truly a tale as old as time, and like qqueenofhades said, it’s hard to get right, but when it’s right it’s very right. Gleb’s on the lighter end of the spectrum for these ships, but the elements show up anyway, and it’s so interesting. Though I disagree with the idea that Anya’s just into the uniform - in fact I’d say she’s very not into the uniform - but I’ll get to that in a minute.

Something mentioned that very much applies to glenya is that Anya never asks or tells Gleb to change; he does it all on his own. She’s his catalyst, true, and what pushes him from someone who’s questioning his place in the new order (the “sword and shield of the revolution”) to someone who completely rejects it (”not [his] father’s son after all”), but she doesn’t force him. She doesn’t try to. The closest she comes to actually telling him to change is challenging him to put himself in her shoes in the confrontation, when - as is obvious to the audience - he’s already unable to go through with hurting her. This final defiance is simply yet another nail in the coffin, but Gleb’s already changed by that point.

Another great point qqueenofhades brought up: that these ships can’t ever cross a boundary that has to be handwaved because ~Romance~, which a lot of these types of ship do. Gleb doesn’t cross those lines; he’s aware of their positions and never even tells her he cares about her, despite reworking his entire identity because of her. I love a subtle jealousy plot as much as the next woman but there is no “but she should be with me!” to any of Gleb’s lines. It’s all genuine concern for Anya’s well-being mixed in with a well-meaning crush, even if Gleb is truly crap at communicating that.

(One interesting thing to me is that Gleb is a lot more subtle in how he expresses things than Anya is. Max von Essen annotated his script on the line “They would kill you without hesitation” by underlining “they” and pointing out that Gleb doesn’t say “I” there; he’s not telling her what he’ll do, just what will naturally happen as a consequence of her actions. It’s an interesting nuance to have picked up on, and makes their interactions more interesting, because Anya wouldn’t know subtlety if it bought her dinner.)

And everything you said is correct, though I think something I adore about the dynamic that isn’t talked about enough is that Anya is not only the antithesis of his worldview but also the epitome of it. Gleb believes in a future for Russia that’s filled with people like this determined, hard-working street sweeper, and he’s absolutely not wrong about her having those traits, it’s just that she is also the symbol of the old Russia by birth and those two things can coexist, as he learns. Speaking of learning….

[The ship] has to stimulate real and compelling character growth on both their parts. The GG learns that the world is more complicated than simple Good and Evil and that people can do things for a variety of objectively noble reasons but with bad methods. The BB, of course, has to have a come to Jesus moment and substantially atone for his past shit.

Like, exactly. Just, exactly. This isn’t so much in canon but in the subtext and potential, but Anya’s a terribly naive character when it comes to consequences and big-picture thinking. Gleb pushes her to realize that her actions have consequences beyond herself and even for herself, and Anya pushes him to realize that not everything can be heroes triumphant and villains slaughtered. He has to realize that his father and, by extension, his entire worldview were incorrect, and he does. They both push each other to move beyond their old childhood selves and view the world as a messy, complex thing, and it’s so interesting to watch characters do that, and that’s why I think so many of us got attached. Like qqueenofhades said,

…most people don’t read/watch fiction for bleak, hopeless, cynical narratives where everyone dies and evil wins and nobody is possible/capable of change. We like fiction because it explores these ideas in encapsulated arcs with themes and tropes and recognizable points of development, and we like it to have a fulfilling or at least somewhat happy ending. We want to see characters move along a spectrum to become better people, and to feel represented in that struggle.

As for Anya, why wouldn’t she like someone who’s open and honest and changes his opinions based on her actions? Someone who tells her the simple truth and doesn’t play games or hold it over her head? Yes, the situation surrounding it all is complex, and that’s why she isn’t interested at first - but especially as she grows more confident in who she is and he grows more shaken, there’s a sense of mutual respect and almost kindred spirits there. Especially when they’re parting, because so much goes unsaid and yet understood. She’d be intrigued by it, at the very least.

[GG/BB ships] transfer the power and agency to the woman, enable substantial character development for the man in a way that real-life men are unfortunately almost never pushed to do, and are a subversion of the still-prevalent idea that controlling someone’s life is any kind of expression of real or functional adult love.Maybe the BB tries (characters are human and flawed, they should be allowed to make mistakes) and the GG shoots that shit down super quick…

I’m … not sure I need to say much more about that quote. I think it speaks for itself in regards to Anastasia. Gleb listens and knows he can’t control her, and for a character that’s playing into Galatea tropes as hard as Anya, that’s good and healthy for her. He tries to control her actions, and she proceeds to do exactly what she was planning anyway, and he finds himself unable to even carry out the consequences he warned her about. As qqueenofhades said, it’s a bit of a power-inversion too; a tiny street-sweeper-turned-princess completely undoes the officer and has him crying on his knees while she stands there, confident in her identity and self, completely flipped from their first meeting? It’s a powerful image and a powerful dynamic.

So, in summary, they’re both total snacks with emotional depth who push each other to develop and rethink their worldviews. They both make the other person reassess things they’ve always thought, and as Gleb revises his past and Anya realizes her simple dream to have a family is going to have collateral damage, there’s a lot of potential for them to connect and relate to each other while adding depth.

And that’s why we’re all in shipper hell.

#anonymous #ask #kat answers #kat writes an essay more like #glenya shipping intensifies #IT'S SUCH A RICH CONCEPT OKAY #I CANNOT GET OVER HOW MUCH POTENTIAL THERE IS IN THESE TWO FLAWED PEOPLE #FLAWED IN DIFFERENT WAYS BUT FLAWED NEVERTHELESS #well flawed when Anya's written/acted by good people but STILL #(stiiiiiiiiiiiiiill)#I had to stop myself from using 'interesting' every other sentence #but also it's accurate #interesting and rich and with lots of space to explore

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orionsangel86 · 6 years

Text

Episode Review - 14x01 - Want, Everything, Sunshine, and Beyonce

Hellatus is over everyone! Put away the crack memes and shit posts and bring out your meta caps because we are back in business! Oh boy are we back in business!

Right before @tinkdw came over to watch the premier with me, we discussed our expectations and both agreed that whilst our expectations were pretty much in our boots, we would consider the episode a success if it was even remotely meta. We wanted to be able to see clearly constructed themes both as a continuation of what had come previously and as a foundation for a strong season going forward. We were both hoping that at least from a meta perspective, that the episode would leave us happy and thirsting for more.

Dabb did not disappoint us.

It was such a strong episode meta-wise. There is a lot to pick apart that is ripe for discussion and I seriously hope that Dabb will keep a close eye on the other writers to ensure that these themes continue throughout the season. Plot-wise it was a weaker episode, but then again Dabb has always focused on the character emotional arcs more than the actual plot points in recent years, and I am grateful for that. The second half of season 13 felt stagnant to me simply because there was little to no character development and from a meta perspective it was also extremely weak. I went into this hellatus feeling negative about the show simply because I hadn’t actually enjoyed an episode properly since 13x12. However, the season 14 opener was most definitely enough to quench my thirst and get me excited for the coming season. Fingers crossed it goes from strength to strength.

Long review under the cut

Michael!Dean - What Do You Want

Straight in after the introductory Nyoooom of Baby (driven by a grim looking Sam and a pretty impressive swap from title music to diegetic music), we are introduced to the angel of the hour.

8 Things about Michael:

1. I am not sure how I feel about Jensen’s performance right now. He is playing Michael extremely straight and whilst I can see how this cold, calm portrayal can come across quite terrifying, it’s not a carry over from Christian Key’s performance. I don’t want to be too critical, because we only saw him in a few scenes so far, but when I compare it to how Tahmoh portrayed Gadreel alongside Jared, and the way Misha pretty much nailed Mark P’s performance (and greatly improved it), I guess I’m still waiting for Jensen to WOW me in the role. The one thing I will say is that he did terrify me and managed to come across creepy when acting alongside his own WIFE. So he's doing something right I'll give him that. When Jensen wants to have chemistry with someone, he does.

2. I like the fact that Michael’s goal right now seems to be to educate himself on our world. He’s not running around causing terror and mayhem like Lucifer, he’s learning how best to go about “improving” the world. He also appears to be inspiring people with his words: “Holy men, leaders, killers” and we have seen the effect he had already on Kip the Demon - who was inspired to run for King of Hell until Sam Fucking Winchester ruined that plan. I wonder if we will be seeing the fallout of Michael’s specific type of inspiration throughout the season.

3. “What do you want?” Obviously this question is an important one. It was repeated like six times throughout the episode, though never to the main characters. It looks like this is going to be the theme of the season and as far as TFW’s personal journey’s go, this is now the question we are asking them and the question being explored. What does Sam want? Or Cas? Or Dean? This has an endgame flavour to it that has me extremely excited.

4.Michael’s own personal want of “A better world” is a follow on in a way of many of the villains that have come before him. For seasons now we have been exploring this concept of improving the world for the better. We had it first in season 8 when the brothers had the goal to do the trials to make a world without demons, in season 11 Amara’s vision was to destroy so she could reshape the world to her own blueprints that she saw as better than Chuck’s. Dabb era has been even more obvious, first with the goal of the British Men of Letters being “a world without monsters” which was shared by Mary wanting a better world for her boys, and then in season 13 Jack’s arrival floated the idea of “paradise world” to Castiel. I don’t think Michael is gonna fair any better than any of these others, and wonder exactly where all these escalated versions of “a better world” will end up. It's all exploring the notion that nothing is black and white, but in fact a grey area.

5. I already discussed Michael and Sister Jo here. Cas mirrors... Cas mirrors everywhere... I also side eye the "pretty things" line because it reaks of Dean and his whole sublimation thing. In that sense it seems Dabb is making Jo a mirror for both our boys. I'll be keeping a close eye on her from now on.

6. ”Why would he say yes to you?” “Love”. OH DEAN. Just, Dean wasn’t in this episode but my god did we feel his presence RIGHT HERE. And to think there are people out there that still think this is a macho mans show about macho manly men. I’ve never known another character with more heart than Dean Winchester. This show is about LOVE above all things. I wish people would stop trying to deny that fact.

7. Radioactive Pigeon:

Look I’m not trying to be critical okay it’s very pretty and this is the FIRST time they have attempted showing an angels true form and that is amazeballs and all, but still. He has little pigeon wings and a bent halo. Pfft.

8. The Purity of Vampires. I actually love this. I think it comes across a bit silly on the surface, but the whole idea of monsters being pure is a massive callback to purgatory and season 8 and anything that calls back to season 8 makes me happy.

Sam Fucking Winchester

Excuse me while I scream HELL YES. I have been waiting for Sam to take on the leadership role for AGES. Honestly this was always my dream endgame for Sam. To organise and lead the hunting community. There’s your better world guys. It was something that the writers flirted with in late season 12, but at the time Sam only took on the position with Dean’s approval and encouragement to go ahead. Sam has always stepped back and let Dean take the lead throughout the show as the big brother and parental figure. I think this was always a role he was destined to fill and something that has been building in the subtext for a long time (much the same way as the toxic codependency has been shown to hold Sam back.)

What’s of interest here is what will happen when Dean comes back and is fighting fit. Will Sam relinquish his leadership position to Dean? Or fight for it? Will this cause conflict? I read this amazing meta on this which turned into an epic discussion and I highly recommend reading it. My HEART.

Sam’s state in the episode is one of constant motion. He cannot stop for a second, always being pulled from one thing to another. He doesn’t sleep, he doesn’t get to change out of his hideous blue and orange shirt (which is officially now my favourite Sam shirt), he doesn’t even get to finish his soup. I know Jared said that Sam had a ‘grief beard’ but Tink and I are adamant that the beard is simply due to the fact that Sam doesn’t get the time to shave. He has taken so much weight on his shoulders and in amongst that has to deal with horribly traumatic things such as face the face of his abuser and actually be a healer to him. Sam doesn't get a moment to himself and spends all his time concerned about others. It's very noble of him, but he's going through the motions.

Sam is the contrast here to both Cas and Dean, who are physically and mentally stuck in their awful situations. Sam is also stuck in a way, stuck with no time to actually contemplate the situation he has got himself in. Stuck without a moment to breath, or to grieve his brother. Stuck holding the weight of the world on his shoulders as every other single character looks to him for support, help and guidance. Sam is the motherfucking Beyonce of the episode, that is for certain.

He is also calling the shots on hell now...

(x)

... I find it amusing that back in the early days Sam's destiny was to be the boy king of hell, and it's almost like he's fulfilled that destiny, not by being king, but by being gatekeeper and in a position powerful enough to scare the demons into submission. This is probably what Crowley intended. Sam probably owns the moon now.

About Nick - Well, first of all, I TOLD YOU SO. I did say that I could tell the guy from the back of his head and I was damn right about that. Learn to trust me guys I am occasionally good at this stuff. Okay, now that that is out of my system, let’s talk about this. Round of applause for Jared in this scene. Because he takes Sam’s hell trauma extremely seriously and made sure that every nuance, every twitch, was picked up by those camera’s. I loved that. Potentially Nick could be a good way to help Sam heal in the coming season, as Sam has finally freed himself from Lucifer’s grasp. Is it fair that he should have to look after the face that tormented him for years? No. Not at all, but could it prove somewhat cathartic in the end? Maybe.

At the end of the day, Dabb must have considered Nick to have a purpose beyond “I want to give Bucklemming something to play with so they don’t fuck up my actual story” and “We need to keep stroking Mark P’s ego for some stupid reason”. Because otherwise I am really worried about how limited his power must be, and refuse to entertain the thought that he was overthrown by Singer and his horrid wife. I can see the potential in Nick being a dark mirror for Dean following his freedom from Michael’s possession. How Nick deals with the post possession trauma could be an indicator to how Dean is really coping even when he buries it.

At the same time, both Sam and Cas have been possessed by Lucifer, and therefore have all the experience between them to help Dean’s recovery without needing Nick to get involved. So I dunno guys. I’m trying to see the positive in something I otherwise despise.

Anyway I thought Jared was fucking superb in that scene and pretty much the whole episode and want to give him a round of applause because it is rare that he truly gets to shine on his own without Jensen by his side.

Now all we need is for Sam to get some sleep. How he is still functioning by the episodes end I will never understand.

Castiel Everything Winchester

(x)

Look at him. So defiant and done. You can almost imagine that fire behind him burning in his eyes as well. He’s such a dom.

Several things about Cas in 14x01:

1. He is 100% done with every demon on the planet and doesn’t give a fuck. Honestly though. The way he says “Oh God” when Kip walks in. The way he rolls his eyes. I wonder if he had Dean’s voice in his head saying “You know who wears sunglasses indoors Cas? Douchebags.”

2. He is making desperate choices in order to save Dean, which is certainly typical for him. The fact that he spends the entire episode stuck in a chair is a fantastic metaphor for his whole feelings on the situation, a metaphor then reinforced through a mirror at the end when he speaks with Jack (we never get anything explicit with Cas do we?). The fact that Cas can’t save Dean right now is weighing on him, but he is determined to do whatever it takes. The conversation he has with Sam at the end is a brilliantly short but important moment:

“I should never have gone to those demons”

“Cas no I don’t blame you. honestly I wish I had thought of it first. If it meant finding Dean I’d work with.. I’d do anything.”

The takeaway here is that actions speak louder than words. Sam HAS been distracted being leader of the hunters and having to face his own nightmares thanks to Nick, but Cas has literally been doing anything he can with a soul focus on saving Dean.

It's an intimate moment between them. In a bunker now bustling with life and movement this is the only time in the episode that it really seems still. The library has always been Sam's private space, where he feels most at home - like the kitchen is for Dean. But here he and Cas sit as equals together weighed down by their shared grief. It's the soft moments like this that I love the most about this show. They are both willing to do anything they can, but the difference is that whilst Sam is being pulled in lots of different directions, Cas’s sole focus is Dean. Note that heaven wasn’t mentioned once. It hasn’t even crossed his mind.

3. Everyone Knows, but Cas doesn’t give a shit.

“How is it you lost Dean, I thought you guys were joined at the... well you know, everything.”

It is an extremely explicit nod to Destiel. It is also the first time a line like this has made it into an episode since season 7 I think. The difference now being that we’ve had years of steady subtext and narrative building on the love story, hence the line has a different weight to those previously. It was very carefully written, careful not to imply that Cas was joined to BOTH Winchesters as the line was specifically about Dean. It was written by the showrunner, who would have known the significance of such a line, it encourages the view that all of heaven and hell have made their own assumptions about Dean and Cas’s relationship, and in case anyone wants to argue that the missing word was “hip” like the saying goes, the gesture and nod by Kip goes to prove otherwise. In other words, there is no platonic interpretation. Which is delightful.

Cas’s completely stoic silence is even more delightful. God I love him.

4. He can’t see demons true faces anymore. Like everyone else, Cas not realising those people were demons really threw me for a moment. Tink and I both agreed that the scene should have had Kip snap his fingers and have the demons smoke in and possess all those people instead - still catching Cas off guard but not making it seem like he is just super unobservant. I personally feel like this was just an error Dabb made. I have no desire to try to meta explain that one and I accept it as the error it is. I do like that it took an entire room of demons and 4 sets of enochian hand cuffs to overpower him though...The fact that he had to sit there and watch his family be beaten and almost killed around him whilst he was helpless again, is an excellent parallel to Dean’s current situation and what he will most likely have to face in the coming episodes, and also a reflection of Cas’s mental state (as mentioned above), Coming out of this episode it seems like this will be another season where Cas and Dean mirror each other and walk similar paths in terms of growth and development - if only those paths would meet with a kiss!

5. He’s the bait. Tink found this line hilarious straight away, where as I had to blink and ask why because I obviously took offence. But once we started discussing it and realised the quadruple entendre it is I found myself applauding Dabb on his genius. Cas IS used as bait, by the SPN PR people. Because he’s Mister Popularity. He’s also the character who causes the most conflict in fandom, with those who love him so much they are bitter and mean and those who simply hate him often complaining about the exact same things but in different ways - leaving the regular fans stuck in the middle (Tink explained this to me with delight - how both anti’s and bitter!cas girls alike will latch onto that line for completely different reasons). He’s also potentially a queerbait depending on how you look at it. But anyway. Cas’s epic eye rolls in this episode were almost enough to rival Sam’s bitchfaces. I am impressed.

6. He takes no pleasure for himself. I am forever going to obsess over Cas’s relationship with human food and drink:

“Coffee has no effect on me.”

“Me either, not anymore. But its like with saltwater taffee or infants, you know I just like the taste”

Although we can argue his refusal is out of stubbornness to not give the demon the satisfaction, even when accepting drinks from the Winchesters he doesn’t usually bother, or will stick with water. Even if he is seen ordering coffee it is usually only to avoid looking suspicious in diners. We know Cas enjoys some food and drink, but Cas rarely allows himself the pleasure. Even in 13x14 when Dean offered him a beer, it remained unopened. A symbolic metaphor for Cas refraining from indulging in other pleasures? This is why I am so so desperate for Michael to ask Cas what it is HE wants. Lucifer stated that Cas was a “pleasureless dullard” and I want to see this theme continue. Cas uses his grace as an excuse not to indulge and I consider this linked to meta about the “sacred oath” of heaven and Cas being duty bound and numbed by his grace. But these are all elements for a bigger meta at another time and the moment in this episode is just another snippet of that.

7. He looks awesome framed in fire. I just really liked the set up of Motown Meats as the new hang out for hell, with its fire pit and orange glowy bar. There is a lot of general symbolism there but I enjoyed the flames framed behind Cas in every shot he was in. Because even though he was mostly stuck in this episode, that fire raging inside him didn’t burn out once. He WILL save Dean. Just as he promised to Jack at the end, even if he get’s battered, beaten and bruised, his determined stubborness to save his husband will win eventually. Cas is no longer the broken thing of seasons 11/12. He well and truly rose like a phoenix in season 13 and now it’s showing through, as it’s a mission fueled by his own passion and love.

Jack Winchester (AKA my nougat son)

Poor Jack, like his father he hasn't had it easy in 14x01. He is struggling with his humanity now, his usefulness, in such a clear mirror to Cas that it kinda hits you in the face. He is desperately seeking guidance from those around him. First in the form of AU Bobby who has clearly bonded with Jack following their experiences together in apocalypse world.

It is great to finally see the Bunker gym! A room we all have ingrained in our fandom hive mind thanks to a 100 destiel fanfics. We all know what's gone on in there. >.>

Throughout the episode, Jack seeks out guidance first with Bobby, which goes badly, then with Sam, which is interrupted, and finally with Cas, which is when he finally gets told what he needs to hear. I am really happy that whilst Jack has so many father figures now, it is Cas who truly holds that torch and is able at least somewhat give Jack what he needs near the episodes end. If only he had damn well given his son a hug!

I loved the conversation so much that I transcripted it here:

JACK: I’m fine.

CAS: You did well

JACK: All I did was get punched. In the face

CAS: To be fair we all got punched in the face

JACK: That’s not - Before when I had my powers I could have done something

CAS: Jack you don’t have your powers, and your grace should regenerate in time, but until then..

JACK: I’m useless. I cant kill demons I cant find Dean and Michael is in our world and I cant stop him.

I can’t do anything. I don’t have anything.

CAS: Oh Jack. That’s just not true. You’ve got me. You have all of us. You have your family.

And we are going to find dean and we are going to beat Michael and we are going to do it together. Because that’s what we do.

This whole conversation was PERFECT. Every line chosen so specifically and weighted with meaning. Urgh Dabb I fucking love you for this.

Jack starts with “I’m fine” which Cas knows by now means you are not fine but he has also learned to recognise that sometimes it doesn’t mean “leave me alone” as Jack was crying out for guidance and support here.

The mirrored “got punched in the face” calls to attention the fact that Jack is a reflection of Cas himself here and everything he has felt both now and in the past.

Jack’s complaint about being useless without his powers is a fear Cas has carried with him since his fall in season 9. It’s something that still weighs on him and whilst Cas now knows his place by the Winchester’s side, knows that they are a family and that he is not just a hammer, I think that fear of losing his power and being cast out is still well and truly weighing him down. It will be cathartic for Cas to see the family accept Jack as one of their own even if he is “useless” and human.

Cas’s “That’s just not true” when Jack says he is useless - his voice breaks and you KNOW Cas has had those exact same thoughts.

“you’ve got me, you’ve got all of us. You have your family” compared to You’re my family, I love you, I love all of you” compared to “We're family. We need you. I need you.” The difference is there is no ambiguity in the word ME. Dabb turned it around, but had Cas clear it up. It’s the same line every time. The only difference is the placement of each individual statement. If this isn’t yet another clear example that the “I love you” was specifically directed at Dean I don’t know what is. THIS IS A CONTINUING PATTERN PEOPLE.

The determined promise to save Dean at the end, right after he specifies the singular and plural because obviously Dean was on Cas’s mind at that point - Mister I Don’t Get Words Wrong over here knows exactly what he means.

I love this whole conversation, but as I said above, it drums home the fact that whilst the Winchesters and others may be sources of guidance and support for Jack, he only has one true father, and I think Dabb wanted to make that clear in this episode. Remember:

Fingers crossed for more father/son bonding between these two in future episodes.

Mary and Bobby

(x)

Baring in mind I was expecting 1 small Destiel moment in the episode in the form of a line from a demon. You have NO IDEA how happy this moment between Mary and Bobby made me. If anyone saw that inktober pic I drew for premier day of me and Tink gasping in shock at the screen, it was for THIS moment. My face lit up in delight.

I said at the start of this long review that Dabb picked his moments well. With every second counting from a meta perspective. This was one of those.

Tell me, anyone, when watching that moment, would you deny that there was something between Bobby and Mary? As homework I'd like you all to play this scene to your heteronormative friends and family, or even be brave and ask a bibro. Would ANYONE deny that it was intended to be romantic?! I highly doubt it.

And yet there was nothing textually explicitly romantic about it. There was NOTHING in this scene that hasn’t been filmed a thousand times between Dean and Cas. The fact that Dabb chose to write this extremely small seemingly unimportant moment, in the kitchen, and for Bobby to use THOSE EXACT WORDS. As I have mentioned several times already, Dabb doesn’t fuck around when using well known moments from past canon in order to reinforce the importance of a thing. Dabb LOVES parallels. He wrote Bloodlines after all. He also knows the fandom hive mind and the things we pick up on and latch on to. This was a very smart calculated decision to include this in the episode and I am LIVING that he did it. GIVE ME ALL THE BOBBY x MARY/ DESTIEL PARALLELS.

...

I actually really liked Mary in this episode. There is so much discourse in fandom about her and whilst I find Sam Smith pretty cold and wooden, I have never understood the utter hatred of Mary as a character. Hence why I praise Dabb’s genius at this moment:

(x)

Because this line literally sums up her entire arc since her return. Tink and I paused the episode and basically flailed at each other because this is EXACTLY what Mary has been trying to do. She was in HEAVEN, with her BABIES and suddenly she is back on earth with two grown men who are strangers to her, telling her they are hunters and have suffered a life of HORRORS without her. So she ran. Hell, I would have ran too. She shoved herself into hunting because all she could think about was trying to make things GOOD for her boys. Trying to FIX her mistakes the only way she knew how: by HUNTING. She was drowning in the bad. So she found focus in trying to make things good. Like in this episode, she reassures Sam so much that he snaps at her. He doesn’t want to be reassured, and that’s fine. But my god this felt like the first time Mary has truly had a voice. I really weren’t kidding when I said that Dabb made sure every word counted.

OTHER THINGS

I am unsure how I feel about the title card:

Tink called it. I think it looks a bit odd, a bit too clean. I like the title cards to be grim and dark. Black angel wings though! And hey, at least the fiery halos in the title cards are perfectly spherical... so we know they CAN do it right...

*side eyes SFX team*

Kip as a wannabe Crowley was kinda fun for a one off episode but I am glad that they are stressing now that wannabe Crowley’s get killed. The last one we had was Bart in 13x08 who was very much the same flirtatious queer coded demon. I’m fed up with the villainous queer coding by now. It’s been done too often. Give me another Demon like Alastair or Ramiel or none at all.

“Asmodeus Kentucky Fried” DID ANYONE LIKE ASMODEUS OTHER THAN BUCKLEMMING? This made me LOL.

The fight scene at the end was really weird and overly long. I dunno why they decided on so many random slow mo and wooosh shots. the whole Mary slow mo throwing the blade at Sam was cringy. I wish they’d stop being experimental and stick with what they know! You think they’d learn after 13x23!

Maggie was a bit annoying. Why bring her along if she can’t fight? Also the random cuts to her reaction after Jack was angsty had me reeling. simply because in het couples that’s a brewing romance and that is a massive NOPE from me. I like her as an individual character, I DO NOT like her as a love interest to a 1 year old, and I certainly wouldn’t like some pining story for her where she falls for an unavailable guy. It’s not fair on her character. The one thing I did like was the “pointy end” comment. It reminded me of Charlie for some reason.

The throw away line about Ketch being in London looking for the golden egg Lucifer/president extractor. Nice closing of a plot hole there Dabb.

I liked the Jesus weapon expert hunter dude. He seemed quirky. Dead man’s blood bullets are an excellent idea.

DETROIT. Why does everything always happen in Detroit? I swear one day they are gonna reveal that Detroit is like a central universal power hub where the walls between the dimensions are thinnest or something. I could go on about this but I am sure a better meta writer elsewhere already has and this is waaay too long so I’m leaving this here.

If you got this far. Kudos and thank you for sticking around to read my thoughts. Feel free to ask me anything about any of the above. If I could hand out cookies through the internet I totally would right now.

Basically I enjoyed the episode. I have since re-watched it a dozen times and it is really the meta of it all that makes me love it. The story IS weak, and there ARE moments that are a bit odd, or infuriating depending on the way you look at it, but the heart of the episode was classic Dabb. All character driven and full of meaning. I am extremely well fed after this meta feast, perhaps even enough to get me through the horror show that will be Bucklemming’s 14x02.

So long as Cas continues to look like a sexy beast I’m sure I’ll get through it.

I’ll just leave this here:

God he’s such a dom. :P

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justanotherlokiwitch · 6 years

Text

Office AU - Part 1

Summary: AU narrative that takes place in an office environment. The main character is a mentally ill female who struggles to make it through each day and deal with her symptoms. Part 1 details her experiences with the illness, and how she comes to meet Loki on her lunch break.

Word Count: 1,738

Warnings: Mental illness, depression, anxiety, anger, etc. Potentially triggering.

A/N: This first part is a lot of exposition about the main character’s mental state. I promise it pays off in the end, and in subsequent parts.

Other parts of this story (as well as other stuff I’ve written) can be found here.

Taglist: @1800-fight-me @asheslokisgirl143 @sarahivi @namelesslosers @markusstraya @ablogoffanfics @onebloodypoet

Getting through work the day after an episode was never an easy task.

Sometimes, she would call in sick or work from home if she simply could not face the day. But today, she had some things she needed to get done that would require her to go to the office. She did not relish the thought of dealing with that environment when she was in such a state. Too many people. Too much noise. Nowhere to hide.

As she parked her car in the office building’s lot, she could feel the urge to cry. No, she thought, I can’t cry now. Not now. I have to go to work. She felt completely drained of all energy and wondered how she was going to get through the whole day like this. I’ll need a cup of coffee, she thought. Maybe two.

It was a pretty standard winter morning. Snow was on the ground, fallen two nights before. The sun was out now, and the air was cold and brisk. She watched the breath flow from her mouth as she stepped out of her car and locked the door. There was a strong wind against her as she walked up to the building. She pulled her scarf up around her mouth and nose and felt tears forming in her eyes. Thank goodness it’s just from the wind.

She always stopped in at the office cafeteria first thing to get a cup of coffee. This morning, there seemed to be more people than usual in there. She tensed up as she walked by the others in line at the coffee station. She had to wait for two other ladies to finish pouring their coffee before she could get hers, and these two ladies were taking their sweet time, chit-chatting and moving slowly. She felt her hands clench into fists. What was it with people always wanting to chit-chat?

Finally, she was able to start pouring her coffee. Large hazelnut, with extra cream, no sugar. She took her coffee the same way her father did, which never failed to amuse her. It wasn’t the only way she was like her father.

The elevator was mercifully empty. There was not much she disliked more than having to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with others in a crowded elevator. Not today, thank goodness. She took a deep breath as the elevator rose floor by floor. She sipped her coffee and took in its warmth and bitter flavor which she loved so much, and savored being completely alone, even if it was very brief.

The elevator opened, and she reluctantly walked out and swiped her badge at her office door. She entered a large area full of cubicles, already bustling and humming with life.

“Good morning,” said a voice. She felt her body tense up as her brain frantically tried to determine who was speaking to her. Oh God, she thought, please don’t talk to me. Not now. Not today. She spotted the chubby man with sandy brown hair and glasses smiling at her.

“Good morning, Matt,” she said flatly. Thankfully, that was the end of the exchange. Matt went about his business and she made her way to her desk.

It was 11:00 by the time she finished her coffee, and she hadn’t done much work. It was almost impossible to keep her mind on what she needed to do. Her thoughts kept wandering, back to the day before and the meltdown. She couldn’t exactly remember what had caused it in the first place. All she remembered was the pain and fear, the screaming and crying and pounding on the walls and the police officer showing up at her door and the paramedics arriving soon after. They wanted to take her to the hospital, but she convinced them not to. After all, she had been in that situation so many times before and always got through it.

As she sat at her desk, the sounds came at her one by one. The click-click-click of fingers on keyboards. The girl with the annoying laugh. The guy who wouldn’t stop coughing. Various beeps and tweets from random cell phones. Brian in the next cubicle munching loudly on chips. Murmurs of individual voices rolled up into a larger, more looming hum. It all became too much for her. She could feel her heart start to pound inside her chest.

She got up from her desk and walked out of the room into the hallway. Out here, even more sounds flew at her. People talking on their phones. Laughing. So many voices. They were surrounding her, threatening to drill inside her head and eat away at her brain from the inside. She felt her throat start to tighten, her breathing speed up. She was suffocating in this sea of noise, and she had to get out.

She knew she couldn’t hide in the bathroom, because that place was always too crowded. Instead, she headed for the stairwell. At least there, she could hide from most of the people. She made her way down two flights, then when she felt she was far enough away from humanity, she sat down on the cold, gray stairs and leaned her head against the concrete wall.

That’s when the tears started. Her head filled with images of the day before. All the pain, all the grief, all the frustration came flooding back and overflowed through her eyes.

She couldn’t hold it back. The tears turned into heaving, shaking sobs. She pounded her fist against the wall, hoping that the physical pain in her hand might distract her from the searing agony inside her head.

“Ma’am? Are you okay?”

It felt like two hands were grabbing onto her throat and pulling hard. She tried to fight, but struggling against them only made them grab and pull harder. She gasped for breath as her head began to throb and her ears began to ring.

“Hello?”

She realized the voice was talking to her. She looked up, bleary-eyed, to find a stocky man in a security guard uniform standing over her.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” she said in a raspy tone, “I’m fine.”

“Okay, just making sure,” said the security guard, and made his way further upstairs.

She inhaled deeply, her lungs filling completely. She held her breath for a couple of seconds, then exhaled. She looked around at the brightly-lit, pale walls. She clenched her fists, digging her nails into her palms, trying to make herself feel something, anything. Instead she just felt numb. Her face was wet with tears, and the congestion in her nose made her head ache. She wondered how long it would be before she could make herself get up and go back to work.

The numbness was a welcome respite from the hypersensitivity of yesterday’s episode. When the anxiety and panic hits, it’s like every nerve in her body is turned on High and receptive to every tiny nuance in sound, light, and smell. The muffled music coming from her neighbor’s apartment was like ten thousand blaring trumpets. That’s what had started the whole episode -- the music. She was just not in the mood to hear someone else’s music, she never is, so the mere presence of it made her explode with rage and fear. It felt as though her personal space was being violated, even though there wasn’t anyone else in her apartment.

She cried, she screamed, she pounded the walls, trying to get the noise to stop. Eventually, someone in the building called the police and so she had to explain herself through heaving sobs that the music was what was making her so upset. The police called for an ambulance, and the paramedic took her vitals and asked if she wanted to go to the emergency room. Luckily she was able to convince him that she didn’t need to go.

She had been to the hospital for episodes before, and it was always the same thing. They would give her a sedative of some sort and keep her for observation. Sometimes they would admit her to the psych ward for a week where she’d have her meds adjusted. That happened five times. It had gotten to the point that it was very easy to tell when she actually needed to go to the hospital. A standard panic or anxiety attack was not a good enough reason.

Somehow, she was able to get up from the stairs and go back to work and make it through until lunch time. Of course, she had to stop in the bathroom first before she returned to her desk to make sure the little bit of makeup she put on that morning hadn’t smeared into a hideous mess.

At lunch time, she made her way downstairs to the cafeteria, where she assembled her usual salad. She paid for it at the register and headed to the tables to sit down and eat. She always ate alone. The cafeteria was fairly crowded. She was able to find a place at a two-seat table in the corner. She sat down, put her purse on the table next to her, and started to eat.

A few minutes went by uneventfully, with her mindlessly munching away at the lettuce and cucumber with Ceasar dressing. People chatted around her, but she did not listen. She was in her own head, still trying to process the day before. So when a man approached her table, she took no notice. It wasn’t until he spoke to her that she came out of her haze.

“Excuse me,” said the man, “But there’s nowhere else to sit. Do you mind if I share your table?”

She looked up at him. He was exceedingly tall, with long, black hair. He was wearing a black suit, with a matching black tie. He looked a bit like what she thought the devil himself might look like if he walked the earth. But there was something about his piercing blue eyes and calm tone of voice that somehow made her feel strangely comfortable with his presence.

She didn’t really want to share her table, but it appeared she had no other choice, and there was something so intriguing about this man, so she agreed to let him sit.

“Thank you,” he said as he set his tray on the table and sat down. “My name is Loki. Loki Laufeyson. I work on the eleventh floor.”

#loki fanfic #loki imagine #loki #loki laufeyson #au #office au #fanfiction #loki fanfiction #marvel universe #marvel fanfiction

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thatsjustsupergirl · 7 years

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Random but I'm still peeved about the Alex/Kara argument in 2.02. Especially the part where Alex claims to have given up a career in medicine to protect Kara. I mean, I'm not sure if that's bad writing or Alex IC blatantly ignoring reality because Alex was not gonna graduate due to academic probation plus she was in jail for at least public intoxication if not a DUI (I can't remember if she got arrested before putting the keys in the ignition or not). 1/

She wasn’t exactly ‘days away’ from graduating med school or anything. Now Alex may have taken the job with J'onn to protect Kara but I’m pretty sure J'onn made the offer to throw a lifeline to a drowning Alex not to protect Kara. But the whole protect-Kara angle really doesn’t hold water since Alex didn’t give Kara even an ounce of potentially life-saving information that she learned at the DEO. Nothing about Kryptonite or secret anti-alien agencies who could blackbag her. 2/

It feels more like Alex enjoyed the leverage of knowledge even while Kara expressed dissatisfaction with her own life. (Did she like lying to her sister? Probably not. Was there a selfish satisfaction to knowing more the Kara, to being part of something bigger? Yeah, I think there was a bit.) 3/

But outside of the influences of redK Kara would never pick apart an argument like that IC but IDK it seems like a very significant character flaw that fandom tends to ignore which is disappointing because the selfishness plays so well off Alex’s deepseated guilt and sense of duty. Alex!Discourse usually focuses on her relationship with Eliza or making her a martyr for her sister which does as much disservice to the nuance of her character as it does to write Kara only as a space puppy. 4/4

This ask made me so happy.

I just finished my S2 talk time project a few days ago and then went back and rewatched the pilot, and let me tell you it is very easy to forget just how much progress Alex and Kara have made, because wow is it jarring to see them at the start of S1 where Alex is so much worse at emotional vulnerability and amped up on passive-aggressive snark.

I really loved that scene in 2x02, which I have written about before, because it highlights all of those flaws without taking away from the fact that Alex still makes a valid point that Kara needed to hear.

Nobody is perfectly consistent in how they express themselves. Ever. People are chaotic and messy and complicated, and they find ways to rationalize bad choices to themselves. They find ways to rationalize good choices, too. They forget about the emotions that motivated a decision over time, or their relationships change and suddenly a memory is recolored into something that isn’t quite reality anymore. A person’s internal logic or truth is not always *the* truth. But none of that means they are “out of character” the second there is a mismatch.

It just means they’re human.

And you hit the nail on the head: Alex was not telling the objective truth in 2x02, but she might well have been telling a truth she believed. Alex has spent years inventing excuses to justify her life choices and coming up with lies to tell her sister and her mother to keep them off her back. At some point the truth and the fiction are going to start blurring in her mind, at least a little. That’s just how our brains work.

Plus, we’re talking about a woman who was so confident she could beat a polygraph that she didn’t even break a sweat about having no time to prepare. The mental self-trickery that requires is insane. Alex Danvers is good at lying to others, but she’s even better at lying to herself.

So, when it comes to Kara and the complicated relationship they have as siblings? Alex can absolutely be petty, and mean, and hurttful. That doesn’t mean she loves Kara any less. It doesn’t negate all the things she does that are generous or compassionate or selfless.

What it does is make her a well-rounded character. Just like how Kara is more well-rounded for being impulsive and self-centered and stubborn in addition to all of her good qualities.

To return to your point about that period in Alex’s life where she was struggling and J’onn pulled her out: yes, she was absolutely giving Kara a revised interpretation of events. Alex’s memories from 1x17 were not actually things she spoke out loud during that interrogation. (At least, I am 99% confident she was not sharing all of her personal failings in explicit detail, especially since long-winded rambling is not part of a polygraph.) So Kara, as far as we know, still remains in the dark about the exact depth of her sister’s issues. And Alex clearly doesn’t ever want her to find out, because that would be damaging on a wayyyyy worse level than her occasionally being an asshole when they fight.

But, within that scene from 2x02, do we know for sure that Alex is lying? We can’t see into her head, after all. Maybe she genuinely believes she would’ve clawed her way out of her funk eventually and gone into medicine if J’onn hadn’t intervened. Maybe she legitimately wanted to be a doctor even though she was a depressed, self-loathing mess and on the verge of failing out. Maybe she only said yes to the DEO because she was afraid Henshaw would blackmail her or her family, or get Kara carted off to some creepy government lab if she turned him down.

All of that, however, does not negate your point, which is that once she got to the DEO, that choice became about her. Not her family, not her sister. Just her.

For possibly the first time in her adult life.

That had to be powerfully liberating. And I agree, it probably gave Alex some immense satisfaction to know that while she might not have Kara’s superpowers, she could still be out there in the world kicking alien ass anyway. We also know she felt good about the fact that her coworkers and her boss recognized her efforts and her talents, and that she was happy to find a space where that was even possible. Those were not things she’d ever had before. And yeah, she guarded them rather selfishly.

I am iffy, however, on criticizing Alex for not telling Kara about Kryptonite and such, because it’s one of the very first things she and J’onn explain to Kara in the pilot ep. (I’m also iffy because Clark knew Kryptonite existed for way longer than Alex did, and he never told her about it either!) And I don’t think Kara would’ve needed a warning about “secret anti-alien agencies,” at least not prior to her decision to start superheroing. Given that strange men showed up at their house when she was a kid and her foster dad changed jobs almost immediately thereafter and her family was constantly afraid she’d be taken away, I have a feeling Kara was already aware of that risk, at least on some level. You’ll note that she never questions the motivation behind Alex’s “never do something like that again” in 1x01, even though Alex is extremely harsh and hurts Kara’s feelings.

tl;dr: Alex, like the rest of us, has her flaws. She has a nasty tendency toward repressing or hiding negativity at her own expense, in part because she’s afraid to disappoint her loved ones, but also because her sense of empathy runs deep and she doesn’t like seeing others suffer. She can be passive-aggressive. She loses her temper in immature, ugly ways.

None of this means she’s a bad person. She’s usually a very good person! But it also doesn’t mean that we get to handwave the ugliness away as “shitty writing” just because it presents a challenge as far as understanding her character.

#alex danvers #danvers sisters #long post #my meta #anonymous #asks

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toloveforward · 4 years

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Why You Don’t Need Girlfriend

There are many articles on how to seduce a girl, invite her to a second date, find a wife and hold on – all in that spirit. But in fact, without a girl is very good. Now is the time that people are emotionally more stable and do not need to feed a partner. Those times when you were condemned for being lonely for 30 years have already passed, and there are a lot of reasons for that.

Why You Don’t Need Girlfriend

Focus on self-realization and career

And the girl, especially if she is not chosen very correctly (and she is almost always so chosen due to the fact that we are always in a hurry), as a rule, this will slow down with all my might. Even if reluctantly, albeit unconsciously, but they are, it is laid down by nature: it has already made its nest – the mission has been completed.

Free time? Forget! A conscript soldier has more free time than a happy owner of a meticulous girl. Even if you have a lot of free time, you could spend it on mastering a new language, learn how to draw beautifully, master Braille, read more books, take pictures of cats from trees. When you are alone, you are free from obligations. They called for dubious work? I agreed and found myself. Thinking about moving? Just picked up and moved, without endless persuasion and controversy.

Roughly speaking, you are 25 years old, and your girlfriend suddenly decided to give birth (I wonder who is to blame for this?). So it happened, what to do, and you are in the 3rd year and just about to get a job, so that you will slowly get the experience that will be needed in the future.

Riddle: Who will drop out of school and interesting, but low-paid at first, work in favor of a more profitable, but unpromising, so that there is enough money for a crib?

Answer: We all know him very well.

You can make a bunch of intrigues on the side – Why You Don’t Need Girlfriend

If there is no girl, then there will be no party as such – there will simply be a bunch of sweet affairs. You don’t owe anything to anyone, you don’t explain. Wanted – went to one, then to the other. This, of course, taking into account if you are in demand among girls and they are waiting for you there. But even if this is not so, you can make every effort for this, because of a lot of time. And when you answer endless questions about how your day went and how much you miss now, there is no time left at all.

There are 7.4 billion people on the planet. Of course, it is very controversial to give this argument, because there are many less potential partners (about 7 billion), but the fact remains: there are a lot of people. Really, living with Natasha, whom you met in a nearby store, do you seriously think that here she is that half missing? No, you need to search more, you can not be lazy. No one says that the girl is not needed at all. But in order to find it, the one that will brew coffee exactly the way you want, you need to reconsider many options.

What if you are jealous? This, of course, is very sad, but there you are, and you must change. But this had to be done before the relationship you had already entered into. And, instead of thinking about useful things in the evenings, you sit and bite your nails, wondering what your girlfriend is doing, where she is. And when you don’t have an emotional attachment to anyone, you won’t even think about such trifles. You will become free from these heavy thoughts that oppress you and prevent you from working normally.

You will have more money

It sounds very petty, but if you think about it … Extra money appeared – I went and bought new jeans, binoculars, maybe even caviar – whatever. No one talks about being mean when you’re in a relationship. But the fact is that when you meet with someone, you yourself stop from certain purchases, stipulating that you need to save money on dates, stockings, a joint trip. There are times when you collected five salaries and wanted to buy dollars or invest somewhere, but you can not, because you are expected at home with flowers and rolls.

Of course, if you are a billionaire, you have already bought all the shirts that you wanted, and the financial aspect does not bother you at all, you can spend money on travel without adapting to your partner. He wanted to fly to Kazakhstan – he took it and flew. Do not wait until she is given a vacation, she will make a visa, the mood will appear. Although they say that behind every successful man a woman stands, the fact of the matter is that she simply stands. It costs and does nothing, as a rule. And the man is ahead. Goes ahead and dissolves his problems, but now also hers.

Quickly disappointed in a girl – Why You Don’t Need Girlfriend

The first two months of the relationship are just a fairy tale: the guy willingly takes a shower, ironing clothes, the girl is painting. They give each other gifts, make concessions, do not really argue, greet each other. Well, isn’t that happiness? Of course, happiness. But then two months pass (sometimes more, sometimes less), and there you no longer need to impress anyone – everyone is already seduced. The girl begins to behave differently, the guy no longer whispers in her ear all kinds of pranks. Here it begins – conflicts, abuse, disputes.

They say you have to fight for love. Yes should not! It either goes on its own, or just let it go. You’ve been doing this all your life (study, army, work), and then they add love to you to fight for, and with it a girl who has a lot of problems in her suitcase that you will solve too. And if you don’t, you’ll listen to how someone solves them, and then you’ll start to decide. One way or another, you won’t getaway.

Think twice – Why You Don’t Need Girlfriend

For many years, divorces in Russia have exceeded 50%. How can I fix these statistics? Do not marry. And the main problem of such a number of divorced marriages is that many marry either on the fly, or not fully understanding themselves and not finding the right partner. We people do not know ourselves what we want from this life, and we hope that the person whom we have drawn into our lives will solve all our problems. But in fact, he only creates them.

When we rush towards destiny headlong, we must enter into a relationship as a fully-fledged person, both spiritually and materially, and only then involve anyone else in our world. But we do not do this and are very disappointed when, after several months, our soulmate does not want to put all our problems on his hump or does not live up to the expectations that for some reason were assigned to her. We ourselves create the illusion that the other half is salvation from all troubles. Nobody owes anything to anyone: neither give birth to 30, nor pay for coffee, nor buy expensive gifts. Everything is simple: I wanted to – I bought it, presented it. And only after realizing all these nuances, you can try to enter into a relationship. When you are happy alone, you will be happy with someone.

What to do as a result – Why You Don’t Need Girlfriend

In any case, everyone decides for himself what he needs at this stage of his life. Girls, in general, are great. They have soft skin, pretty faces, almost always clean hair. And if everything goes well, then you can enter into a relationship. But will it be so all his life? When you seriously start thinking about this issue, you should remember that in Russia 2 out of 3 couples get divorced. Do you just need a girl or specifically this girl? These questions need to be answered honestly to oneself first of all, and only then go on the first date and answer her questions already.

The post Why You Don’t Need Girlfriend appeared first on ToLoveForward.

from ToLoveForward https://toloveforward.com/why-you-dont-need-girlfriend/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=why-you-dont-need-girlfriend

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serenagaywaterford · 4 years

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Anyone who doesn’t think Yvonne is hot, is either blind or has no taste, or both. But they are entitled to their wrong opinion. Although, I’ll say the makeup doesn’t help, especially during that dance. But it’s meant to look ridiculous, just look at Cate’s character too. And I think Sofie is supposed to be distraught during that dance, right from the beginning. So maybe it’s intentional? I remember from Yvonne’s interviews, she said she danced for a long time growing up. 1/

As far as her acting, it was really good. No surprise there, she’s an excellent actress. But so far, still think Serena is her best, she’s just a more nuanced character. Of course, it could change, this is going to be a really meaty role. What are your thoughts on the episode over all? I liked it a lot, although I liked Ameer’s storyline slightly more, Sofie’s feels a little clunky to me. Next episode has potential to be even better though, I am pretty excited. 2/2

—

Lmao, I agree. They can have their wrong opinion ;)

SPOILERS FOR STATELESS!!

Yeah, I wasn’t talking about that final dance scene. That one clearly was meant to be awful. She’d just been raped/sexually assaulted in some way so I wouldn’t expect her to be dancing her heart out all hunky dory. I meant like… all the other scenes, lmao. I’m guessing based on the response to me touching a nerve in the Yvonne fandom, that it’s an active choice by Yvonne/the director to be a less than amazing dancer in this to show that they’re preying on a vulnerable person who wants so desperately to be “exceptional”, but really she’s just ordinary. Maybe that’s the point?

Lol, but yeah, Cate’s character was so OTT. But I mean, a bit true to life cos these people often are. She seemed to ham it up a little too much for my liking sometimes, but others she nailed it so well. I actually thought the dude I call Fugly Frogman (Dominic West) did very well in the role as the cult leader man. He was spot on. I watch/read a lot about cults so… I mean that was the most interesting part, personally (but not all of Sofie’s story tbh. Like you, I think Ameer’s story was more interesting overall. I liked it more. It was more impactful and emotional). I don’t wanna go into a huge essay about Sofie in all this cos … yeah, I’m a bit disappointed in some choices and very wary of the way they’re portraying things, and I think they could make more changes to the “true story” it was inspired by. Because yeah, it seemed very blocky and stilted in terms of progression, probably because of the beats they hit that seemed a bit cliched. (Again, I am very aware it’s based on a real story of mental illness BUT there are ways to do it that aren’t so… obvious? I dunno. Like I said in the past, I am incredibly picky about the way TV shows choose to show these types of stories.) But meh, I’ll see how it goes.

In terms of Stateless as a whole so far? I liked it well enough. It has potential for sure.I cheered when Kate Box appeared cos I think she’s great lol. I actually really like the approach they’re taking to Cam’s story? Like I thought that was good. I’m interested in that cos I mean, it’s pretty predictable where it’s going but still, maybe it won’t? But it’s a necessary exploration of the otherside of the problem (poverty, desensitisation, systemic and institutionalised racism/bigotry). Obviously Ameer’s story is devastating. It did remind me a lot of like all the stories you hear from refugees, down to the letter. (And I’d recommend a background refresher by watching “Go Back To Where You Came From” which YES is a reality show from like 8 years ago, but still somewhat relevant for basic background.) I mean there were 3 moments that got me, one for each character, and that’s probably a good thing it was balanced like that. Actually no, there were 4, and 2 of them were Ameer.

The first was the boat setup when the cops raided the beach, and the second when he is penniless and begging for food at the market and scavenging everywhere for his daughter. Just those shots of him going through the market, and some people granting him charity but everyone is poor and struggling. I thought it was even more emotional than the final boat scene where he sacrificed himself. For Cam, it was when he was trying to buy diapers and saw all the prison guards drinking. And for Sofie, the final dance was very affecting, but it was the previous scene when Cate Blanchett’s character turns on the music as Sofie is going to her “private session” with Frogman. Like that was just SO ominous. And then the whole session. Like, THAT is how you show rape without actually showing it. It was so well done. (If anybody thinks that’s not what that shitheel of a man did in there, I have a few 100000 personal accounts of cult victims to show you. And it’s an incredibly common theme.) I thought that was Yvonne’s best scene too. Maybe it sounds bad but I thought Sofie’s story was the least engaging so far, even though she had the most amount of development. Also the whole “I’m this upset cos my parent’s love my sister more”? JOIN THE CLUB, GIRL. I was just like, “Really?” Not that parental relationships can’t be incredibly influential in good and bad ways… but. Is she for real? Your parents suck. So do so many people’s. And I do get she’s mentally ill so she doesn’t have the emotional reserves and coping mechanisms necessary to deal with what most of us can just talk about (in therapy) and deal with to a more successful degree. (And that chronic vulnerability and slight disconnect from reality is exactly why she is so attractive to cult leaders and predators.) But I mean… I dunno, focusing on Sofie as the central character and the whole cult thing… I mean the scary part of cults is that most people are “normal” folks, with particular vulnerabilities that make them susceptible to brainwashing, but they’re not generally mentally ill. And if the show wants to make serious commentary about the dissolution of identity and humanity that these detention centres provoke, maybe using someone who already suffers identity issues as their poster girl isn’t the most effective way? It can easily be discarded like, “Well, that doesn’t happen to everyone. She’s just crazy already.” I dunno, I hope the focus shifts off Sofie so much to other stories too, like Ameer and his family/friends. I know Sofie’s is sort of the linchpin to the narrative, but hers is not the most important story imo.

I am EXCITED AF for Asher Keddie next week. I don’t know how great the character/her story will be, but I really enjoy her as an actress so I’m curious af.

One thing that irritated me?THAT RECURRING RED BALLOON. Like what is this? “It 3″? Like, I get it’s meant to be symbolic imagery or whatever but couldn’t you at least choose a different colour? Yellow? Orange? Black? White? Blue? Green? There are so many options lol. WHY RED? Like… it was just so stupid and unnecessary. I agree that so far Yvonne’s performance here isn’t at the level of hers in THT. But there’s time still. If I had to judge her off THT’s 1x01 I deffo wouldn’t have given her as much praise as I do now. So, it’ll be a finale time decision. So far, I don’t find the character nearly as complex, nor her performance–because she doesn’t need to be when the character is fairly straight forward. She does have some nuance to her acting in Stateless still, but just … something about her understated choices in THT gets me, and I haven’t quite seen that yet. Flickers of it here and there so far in Stateless but not on the same scale. Like I said tho, it’s still really early and her character has a lot of development to do.

#i'm not saying she's a TERRIBLE dancer #just not that great #that's not a bad thing #she doesn't have to be spectacular at everything #i'd much rather she be a superb actor and not a fantastic dancer #rather than a mediocre actor and slightly better dancer.#Anonymous

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smokeybrandreviews · 4 years

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Smokey brand Reviews: Coin Toss

In my ongoing effort to avoid watching actual, award winning cinema that takes a massive amount of my attention to critique, i’ve decided to re-watch The Witcher on Netflix. Now, i’ve never read the books. At all. I’ve played the games though so i’m aware of the world and i’ve been balls deep in the wiki, so i’m aware of the lore. Being aware of the lore is not the same as understanding the nuance of plot, however, so i’m approaching this as a superficial fan of the series but a well versed critic of cinema. I’d say this is a waste of time but, seeing as how it’s the most popular show in Netflix history, already has a second season ready to begin production, an anime movie adaption in the works, and the actually creator making nice with CD Project Red so we might get a fourth Witcher game, it’s maybe not SO much a waste of time to revisit.

The Best

Yenner. F*cking Yennefer of Vengerberg! Yo, she is easily the best thing about this show. Seriously, it’s called The Witcher but it is basically Yenner’s story from the second she appears onscreen in the second episode. She has the most development, appears in the dopest set pieces, and has the highest stakes among all principal characters. For them to nail the character so perfectly, one needs to have a brilliant performer to embody that spirit, and Anya Chalotra stepped into that responsibility perfectly. Chalotra’s Yennerfer is gorgeous, powerful, brilliant, broken, strong, and vulnerable at the same time. It takes very real talent to convey all of that nuance so effortlessly.

The Good

I was hesitant when they announced Henry Cavill as Geralt of Rivia and then put off by the production shots with that terrible wig, but dude IS Geralt. I mean, again, i only know the character from the games and what little information i was able to glean from the wiki, but, from what i’ve learned, dude is perfect in the role. He has a presence onscreen that demands your attention, only outshined by Chalotra’s Yennefer. Learning that Cavill, himself, is a massive Witcher nerd, which makes a ton of sense. Superman bailed on being The Man of Steel, specifically to have input on this project so they wouldn’t f*ck up the adaption. I love that passion, man!

I hear that the Jaskier character is completely different in the source material but i wouldn’t know anything about that. All i know is the Jaskier presented in this show and he is absolutely delightful! Portrayed by Joey Batey, Jaskier shows up, sings a diddy, and steals all of the scenes. His chemistry with both Geralt and Yennerfer is palpable and i look forward to where they take this character. Toss a goddamn coin to your Witcher!

I remember reading, way back during the casting call, that hey were trying to Race bend Ciri. Having no real connection to the characters outside of the games, i thought it might be dope to see a brown lead. I, apparently, was in the minority. The fanboys hated that idea. There was this big stink between geeks and SJWs. It exhausted me so i stopped caring. Imagine my surprise when Freya Allen appeared onscreen for the first time in the role. I was mad confused because i was looking for a caramel colored lady or something, not this snow white faye. It took a few episodes for me to understand that this WAS Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon but, by then, i was in love with Allan’s portrayal. I could see the beginnings of the badass the Ciri i knew from the games in her performance and, indeed, by the end of the season, she was well on her way to being that b*tch. More than anything, i’m looking forward to season two specifically to see where her arc goes.

Surprisingly, in a show with such, great, principal performances, MyAnna Buring as Tissaia de Vries, came with the heat. I was thoroughly surprised by how cold, how calculating, yet, how loving she was as a character. I was actually stunned with her portrayal. I’m a little perturbed by where the show ended up taking the character, but i still enjoyed what she did with the material given to her.

Now, i have to be clear, Yennerfer is my favorite character in this show. She’s my favorite character in the entire franchise but Netflix’s version of Calanthe Fiona Riannon, can give my darling Quadroon a run for her money in that regard. My, goodness, “Lioness of Citra”, indeed! Jodhi May killed this role. I was absolutely enthralled with her portrayal, so much so, i mourned her passing when she kicked the bucket. I was left wanting so much more of her. We’ll see how that work out going forward.

The world, itself, is kind of wondrous. The y way they built these sets and created such a palpable, tangible, reality for such a hard fantasy series, is kind of amazing. The only other show in this genre to even come close to these levels of production was Game of Thrones. I’ve heard Witcher compared to GoT in articles and it’s a relatively apt juxtaposition. The world and lore created by Netflix so far, is a quiet miracle unto itself.

The writing is pretty okay. Considering the source material and type of genre wherein the show takes place, i’m surprised by how natural the dialogue feels in this thing. I mean, who doesn’t love a particularly punctuating “F*ck.”

The overall vision of this show, the grandness of the tale being told, is fantastic. I love that ambition. I love the fact that the challenge of The Witcher, is being taken on with a true reverence of love for the source material. In a world with such terrible Starr Wars films made by Disney and the worst kind of capeflicks coming out of WB, getting such a dope adaption is a breath of fresh air.

The Bad

This show feels cheap as sh*t. I understand you want to capture the “pests” as they’re called, in all that horrid glory but that CG, man, it’s just poor. I gushed about the sets and what they were trying to do, the loving scope of production, but the end product fell just sort of that vision. The Witcher is not a cheap show to produce properly and it feels like Netflix was a little gun-shy to give it what it needed to be properly great.

The way the narrative is told can be wildly confusing. It took me a few episodes to understand that there were multiple points in time being shown and that we were bouncing between them. One of the major complaints i’ve heard is how the show didn’t make any sense and i am more than certain it’s this aspect of the presentation that people were talking about. Once you understand that there are literally three timeless being presented to you at once, there re guides on line, all of a sudden, this show becomes so much easier to digest.

There are certain character that were given such a criminally short amount of screentime. Triss Marigold immediately comes to mind but i’m speaking more about Renri. That sh*t was Refrigerator Syndrome in the clearest sense and it’s the worst. I’m not going to get into the whole politics of what that means because it’s exhausting but, seriously, to just tease us with such amazing characters only to have them relegated to nothing is just cruel.

The Verdict

Overall, The Witcher is a decent show. It’s by no means perfect, there are other, much better shows out there, a few even on Netlfix, but i understand why this one is so popular. There is a ton of potential here and i want to find my way back into this world as soon as possible, but i hope it has a bit more polished on the second outing. At the end of the day, even as cheap as this thing looks at ties, The Witcher is a brilliant, fantasy adventure, with strong set pieces and even stronger characters. The writing is solid, if a little cliche at times, but Yennefer’s journey, alone, is enough to make watching this thing worth. If you’re a fan of fantasy narratives or fantastic characterization, The Witcher will not disappoint.

#Smokey brand Reviews #The Witcher #Geralt of Rivia

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smokeybrand · 4 years

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Smokey brand Reviews: Coin Toss

The Best

The Good

The Bad

The Verdict

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kateofthecanals · 7 years

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11 Questions

I was tagged by both @maidenoftheforestlight and @bluelemonsforever so Imma combine them in one post!

First, Blue’s Qs:

1. What feature about yourself do you think is really beautiful and you wouldn’t change for anything? Hard question. I don’t think any part of me is particularly beautiful, but my nose is the only feature I’ve never fussed about, LOL.

2. What movie or play would you cast yourself in because you could totally nail the part? Doesn’t have to be a main character. When I was younger, Scarlett O’Hara. Nowadays, Kate from Taming of the Shrew. ;-)

3. Which Golden Girl are you? Percentages of two or more Golden Girls is fine but specify. Dorothy, 100%.

4. Describe the worst boss or co-worker you’ve ever had in one sentence. My first boss out of college was such an asshole, he drove his own son to suicide.

5. What food or drink from ASOIAF sounds really good to you based on GRRM’s description? Honey chicken and crusty bread. :-)~~~~

6. Since you guys are all Sansa fans, is there anything you would change about how GRRM handled writing her character considering the hate she gets? Would have been nice to see SOME interaction between Sansa and Arya that wasn’t all hostile all the time. But on the whole, I wouldn’t change much just to appease people who are unable to read her chapters with any grain of nuance. It’s not George’s job to hold your hand. He trusts the reader enough to be able to see past the surface.

7. Name something your opinion has completely changed about a full 180 degrees. Brussells sprouts.

8. What character is your favorite villain, the one you love to hate? I’m not talking a gray character, but one that is truly bad that does it so well. I don’t really enjoy non-gray, irredeemable villains. People who are just bad for the sake of being bad give me no pleasure tbh.

9. What non-facial feature and non-genital body part do you think is really sexy in an ideal partner? Hands. Seriously, ugly or weird-looking hands is a complete deal-breaker for me. I’m also partial to forearms and necks...

10. What’s one thing that you’ve always wanted to learn to do but never got around to it? Playing a musical instrument. I HAVE MUSIC IN MY HEART!!!

11. One line or passage from a movie or novel that utterly slayed you. “Always.”

Maiden’s Qs:

1. If you could be born into any noble house in Westeros which would you choose and why? Stark, of course! Even though I am a total wuss when it comes to cold weather, lol. But they just represent ideals and values that I, well, value!

2. If you had to start your own house what would you choose as your sigil and what would it symbolise? A small flame encased in a bubble.

3. Least favourite character from asoiaf who isn’t an absolute villain and why. Dany. No real reason other than I find her chapters boring.

4. Favourite character from asoiaf who isn’t an obvious protagonist or “good guy” and why. Y’ALL ALREADY KNOW! #Sandorbae

5. As a Sansan shipper, what would you consider to be the strongest aspects of their relationship that make them good for each other? They balance each other. He brings some salt to her sweet, and vice versa.

6. What do you think would cause the most arguments between them as a couple? I think his insecurities would get on Sansa’s nerves, and I think she would get tired of constantly trying to reassure him. And I think he would get jealous of how easily she is able to engage with people and make friends.

7. If you could visit any fantasy world from any book or film where would you go? This is tough because I feel like any fantasy world has the potential for serious trouble, LOL. But damn I’d love to chill out in the Gryffindor common room...

8. If you could marry any character from the asoiaf series, who would it be and why? Ned. He just seemed to be a genuinely caring and loving husband without being too “fluffy” lol..

9. What is your favourite Sansan moment and why? Any moment where one offers the other comfort, i.e.: “He was no true knight” or when he wipes the blood off her lip.

10. Other than Sansan, do you have another major asoiaf ship? If you do, tell us about it. “Major” ship? No, not really. I do very much enjoy Alys & Sigorn, though, there are many SanSan-esque aspects about them. ;-)

11. If you could change any event in the asoiaf series, what would it be and why and how would you change it? I don’t think there’s anything I would “change”, rather there are just so many things I want more information about. Chiefly, Sansa’s actually thoughts and feelings about stuff like, oh I don’t know, having a dream about the Hound naked in her marriage bed???

My Qs:

1. Which ASOIAF character do you relate to the most and why?

2. What’s your go-to SanSan jam?

3. When did you first start reading ASOIAF and who/what introduced you to it?

4. Who was your first celebrity crush?

5. Confess one unpopular opinion re: ASOIAF!

6. If you could ask GRRM one question, what would it be?

7. Hodor?

8. If you could cosplay one ASOIAF character, who would it be?

9. If you could go back in time and bring one historical figure back to 2017, who would it be?

10. Who from the entire WOIAF universe would you choose as your champion in a trial by combat?

11. SHOW ME A PICTURE OF YOUR PET(S) (if you have any)!!!

Clapping back @maidenoftheforestlight and @bluelemonsforever, and also tagging @sillier-things, @rosehustle1, @amplifyme, @daises-cats-and-spacemen, @ladycyprus, @itsjustanerdthing, @srwredhead, @devilsbastion.

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entergamingxp · 4 years

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The Witcher Tales • Eurogamer.net

Hello and welcome to the first of our Clash of Fans write-ups. This week we’ll be getting together in pairs (virtually) and forcing each other to play a beloved game. Then we’ll chat about what we made of it all. First up is Spintires and Thronebreaker!

Thronebreaker

Chris: I have sort of fallen off of collectible card games over the last few years, and in the back of my mind I think they’ve all become variations on Hearthstone. This is wrong, obviously, but it’s taken Thronebreaker to remind me of that. For the first ten minutes I was filtering everything through the question of – how does Hearthstone handle this? But very quickly that ceases to be meaningful.

A few initial observations – there is so much here beyond the cards. The overworld map, the resources and all that jazz, the camps. And the writing. God, so much storytelling all over the place. I am a story-skipper by nature, and you can just about do that here, but it’s clear the care and pride that’s involved in bedding this card game into the Witcher world.

Two more things – the animated cards are absolutely dreamy. I love the lighting and sense of caricature – huge hands and golden light. Then there’s the board. I get the sense that you could almost play this on a pub table with the grain of the wood standing in for the different rows. There’s a lovely sense of a game that has emerged from the stuff you find in a tavern, the stuff that’s lying around.

There’s a murkiness to Thronebreaker which is in keeping with the darker Witcher world.

Bertie: Can I just say I am so glad you’re playing this. Thronebreaker didn’t really make much of an impression the first time around and I’ve always thought that was a great shame. It wasn’t a spectacle like The Witcher 3 and that hurt it. But actually it’s a really indulgent, um, experiment I guess, and you can feel that quality as you explore. I actually think it draws characters as vividly as The Witcher 3 and tells some stories as powerfully, and the way it plays around with the rules of Gwent to keep the combat experience interesting – particularly in the puzzles – is masterful. There’s a lot of love and care in this game.

Chris: It’s definitely got that thing I love about card games in that it feels like as much as you’re making a hand you’re designing and programming a little machine to do in the enemy for you. I also love that the battles themselves really do a good job of making you feel like you’re moving an army around and dealing with lots of units on a battlefield.

Areas change, though. Here’s Bertie in the snowy dwarf land of Mahakaman later on.

Overall I prefer the puzzley battles to the main events. There’s something really gripping about dealing with boulders falling towards you in the first one of these I played. I love that this game is about tweaking the rules of a game that’s already established. I think I would get a lot more out of it if I’d encountered Gwent in The Witcher 3. Just that opening up of the potential of something, that messing around with the boundaries that have been established.

What I’m left with most is what you mentioned – the care and enthusiasm that has gone into this. I appreciate the game itself and I can imagine wanting to really learn it and understand all the nuances. But more than that, I am moved by how much the developers clearly love what they’re doing. Thronebreaker feels like a game that’s been over-delivered in the best way. They couldn’t stop adding story or little flourishes or little puzzles that momentarily turn everything on its head. In that respect it’s properly a game that comes from the best places: love and enthusiasm, a developer that can’t help itself, that’s properly under the spell of its own work. You know this team – do I have that understanding of the game right, do you think?

This is a story battle in Mahakaman with some altered rules. It’s not a puzzle battle though, which are particularly bespoke.

Bertie: Over-delivered is a wonderful way of putting it – that’s exactly what it feels like! And I’m glad you clicked with the puzzles because they’re my favourite. They’re like riddles in how they give you everything you need to solve them but you need to work your brain to get to the solution. I love that feeling, especially when you eventually nail it.

I don’t know if you’ll have time to get to it but a few hours in the game takes a wonderful turn. I remember feeling a bit nonplussed by Thronebreaker. I mean, it was nice but I wasn’t bowled over. Maybe it’s because I had trouble relating to a monarch’s storyline. But then it all changed.

A major story event at the end of the first main area flips everything on its head, and your Queen Meve suddenly finds herself vulnerable and exposed. The story gets personal. She’s stripped of the power she had and has to rebuild from scratch, recruiting people she considered enemies moments before. This is a great idea because not only do you know them very well from the fights you’ve had so far, you’ve built up an enmity towards them, which fuels the dialogue and story to come.

It’s here the game really begins.

Here’s a quick look at how the game begins. It’s a lavish production. Reminiscent of Heroes of Might and Magic if you ask Bertie.

Spintires

Bertie: What on earth have you signed me up for? Trucks and hills and mud? The kind of mud you curse whenever it rains and you’re in one of those make-shift car parks in someone’s field and it gets waterlogged. You spin the wheels trying to get out only to dig yourself deeper while everyone looks on disapprovingly because you’re doing it all wrong and then the farmer has to come and tow you out, which I suppose, now I come to think of it, is what Spintires is all about.

It’s hard though isn’t it? It took me about 10 minutes to get out of my parking spot, although to be fair, I’m not much better in real life. Spintires doesn’t really explain anything, it just chucks you the keys and off you go – well, off you try to go. It’s slow going. There’s none of this barrelling along country tracks like a rally driver, no sploshing through great piles of mud, no crashing through trees and bushes and over fallen logs. All of that holds you up or breaks you.

It’s nothing at all like all the other car games I’ve played, or in games that have cards, like Grand Theft Auto, where you can off-road in a breezy, relaxed way because realism isn’t really the aim. Getting around in Spintires is hard. It’s as hard as accidentally driving in tractor tracks and getting marooned on the middle bit, wheels spinning uselessly like child’s legs dangling from an adult’s chair.

But what am I actually supposed to do?

This jeep isn’t very good.

Chris: This is definitely how my Spintires experience started too. I think what I love about this game more than anything is that I jumped into it and realised I was never going to be any good at it, so that freed me up to allowing myself to be bad at it and enjoy it. I have enjoyed making progress so incredibly slowly in this game. I got to a point where I enjoyed all the mistakes and accidents and all the times I did one stupid thing and properly screwed myself up. I hate to throw around words like zen, but Spintires can be a pretty calming experience if you don’t care about getting nowhere.

Have you had a proper close-up look at the mud yet? This is one of those games that reminds me that the best things in games as far as I am concerned is material physics. I love to zoom in close on the tires as they’re churning through the stuff. There’s such a lovely grainy feel to the mud in this game. It feels a bit like magic?

Ah, now, a tractor! That’s better.

Bertie: Tractors are bloody amazing! I took out a crappy truck and failed at the first mud pile, but then I got in my tractor and oh my goodness gracious it’s a transformation, nothing can hold me back. I even went for a swim in a lake and it was fine. What a machine. Mind you, those wheels are as big as a person, and I love how the game represents them being softly inflated so as to give extra traction, which makes it look like you kind of flump along. Attention to detail!

Talking of detail: have I seen the mud? Have I seen it? I’ve wallowed in it. I’ve revelled in it. The mud is glorious! It’s like a squelchy beast undulating around you. A dirty octopus that clamps its suckers on you. I can almost feel its muddy grip through my keyboard, me fighting to get free, urging my brutish mechanical champion onwards.

There’s something so ironic about needing something so brutish to conquer such a serene landscape, my black smoke sputtering and engine grinding as I force myself on. There could be no clearer contrast between machine and nature, no clearer signal that these machines do not belong there. But it’s that which gives it its thrill, as this person-made beast conquers nature. It’s disgusting and beautiful at the same time.

But this tractor is everything!

Chris: Yes! Oh man, the ugly beauty of this game is off the charts, isn’t it? In a way Thronebreaker and Spintires, which are so completely different, Thronebreaker being so fully featured and sumptuous and over-delivered and Spintires which is so weird and specific and threadbare in a lot of places, in a way they come from the same place? The passion has overwhelmed the projects in both cases, and sort of defines both of them? CD Projekt could not stop embellishing this simple card game. With Spintires, the commitment to mud makes for a game that has fascinating tunnel vision?

Bertie: Singular games, that’s what they are, which makes them more fascinating to me. I reckon CD Projekt had big ideas about a suite of games like Thronebreaker, which is why it tried so hard with it, but it fell on deaf ears so the plan was abandoned and it remains an overlooked overachiever.

But who comes up with an idea like Spintires? Someone with an obsession, like you say, for sure! I wonder about them. I picture them travelling the world to find giant new machines to test drive so they can take back their experiences and program them faithfully into their game. Big-wheel hunters, they could be called. It actually sounds like quite a fun thing to do, and that’s probably why it translates so well in the game too.

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/05/the-witcher-tales-%e2%80%a2-eurogamer-net/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=the-witcher-tales-%25e2%2580%25a2-eurogamer-net

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jessicafwatkins · 4 years

Text

Why You Don’t Need Girlfriend

Focus on self-realization and career

Riddle: Who will drop out of school and interesting, but low-paid at first, work in favor of a more profitable, but unpromising, so that there is enough money for a crib?

Answer: We all know him very well.

You can make a bunch of intrigues on the side – Why You Don’t Need Girlfriend

You will have more money

Quickly disappointed in a girl – Why You Don’t Need Girlfriend

Think twice – Why You Don’t Need Girlfriend

What to do as a result – Why You Don’t Need Girlfriend

The post Why You Don’t Need Girlfriend appeared first on ToLoveForward.

from ToLoveForward https://toloveforward.com/why-you-dont-need-girlfriend/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=why-you-dont-need-girlfriend from TOLOVEFORWARD https://toloveforward.tumblr.com/post/617823021782204416

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