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billlydear · 1 year

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Touch starved Billy Hargrove ✨a concept✨

HC - TOUCH STARVED BILLY HARGROVE

W.C 1680 - INBOX (please request !) - CREDIT TO GIF OWNER

mmm not touch starved billy, love starved billy. he gets plenty of skin-on-skin. a backhand or a shove from his dad, a quick fuck in the backseat of his car, hell, why do you think he takes his shirt off to play basketball, a contact sport? he wants to feel touch, he's just never been given a kind one.

and that's where you come in :) from the very first date you're already shyly reaching for his hand, slipping your fingers between his over the vinyl table of the small diner you're eating at

you watch carefully for his reaction, and he's not really able to hide his shock, he kind of goes stiff. so you're worried you've overstepped, and you start to draw back with an awkward apology, but just before you can pull your hand away completely, he tightens his grip, and squeezes your hand, holding it in place.

“Don’t apologize.” Normally that would be said in a teasing, lighthearted tone. But instead his face is strangely intense, eyes shining under the low lights of the diner.

then it escalates from hand holding to a hug. He drops you off at your front step, and instead of just staying in the car, he walks you up. It’s a pretty cliched first kiss scene, you tell him you had a good time and he agrees with a dazzling smile. There’s a slow, heart-racing lean-in, hitched breath and an eager shine in your eyes, and then he kisses you so soft, you’re not even sure he’s there. He’s not really about special first kisses, preferring to tongue a girl behind the gym. But when your hand comes up to press gently, softly against his cheek, he knows he’s addicted to kindness, soaking it up like a sponge and letting the excess compel him to hold your waist.

he’s not handsy like he normally would be, he keeps his hands firmly planted there while you kiss. It’s soft, slow, sweet, and it feels like waking from a daydream as his pretty blue eyes flutter open to stare into yours.

“Goodnight, Billy.” You whisper, and he’s a goner.

there’s tenderness in your voice, your touch, your gaze, and he lays awake that night thinking about it. It warms him up, knowing that you’d treated him like you care. Maybe you do, maybe you dont, but the feeling is intoxicating, and he doesn’t feel as perpetually angry at the world that night

max notices a change after that. Neil shouts at him, tells him he’s good for nothing, weak, disappointing, and instead of slamming his door and blasting music, probably kicking the bed frame, he offers her a ride to the arcade.

"What?" / "A ride, dipshit, I'm going out and I'll drop you on the way."

and the most insane part, he doesn't even bitch at her in the car. she sits silently and so does he, and when she gets out, he says he'll get her at 8. no threats, no name-calling, just 'i'll pick you up at 8'.

when she gets in the car at 8:10, she's absolutely certain she'll be griped at for being late. but he backs out of the spot, and even asks her about the slap bracelet she'd won inside.

"You get that in there?'"/ "Yeah. I had enough tickets so..." / "What?"

She squints hard at his face while they're stopped at a light, and his own face scrunches in displeasure, "What is it?"

"Are you wearing chapstick?"

The light turns green, and he punches it hard, only remembering to slow down as he pulls his lips between his teeth to lick them. she doesn't ask again, but she spots a tube of it on the ground, strawberry flavored, and definitely not hers.

billy had taken you to the drive-in, and apparently it had fallen out of your pocket when you'd leaned over the center to kiss him. he brought it back to you the next day, knocking at your door and greeting your mother who surprisingly loved him. he wasn't really sure how to react to that, because no girl's mother has ever liked him before, but he's welcomed in and finds you in your room, folding laundry.

he spends the entire day with you, a saturday, just being with you. you teach him how to fold laundry your way, and he definitely teases you about the bras and underwear he finds. in retaliation you whack him with a pillow, and he pretends to be greatly injured after the attack, sprawled out over your bed with his tongue out in a cartoonish display of death

you straddle his waist, peering down at his minutely-fluttering eyelashes. you take his face in your hands, gently, sweetly, and turn it to face you, watching as his pretty blue eyes make a reappearance. he's staring at you, and he looks almost nervous, but he could easily push you off it he wanted to, and he doesn't, so you take that as a good sign.

you trace his features, fingers grazing over the tip of his nose and down through the crease of his chin, just below his lips. then beneath his eyes, along his cheekbones, and smoothing over his forehead. he watches you breathlessly the entire time, a thin layer of tears glossing over his eyes.

when you notice them you stop, nervous that you'd upset him. you ask him what's wrong, hovering over his face only inches away

"I love you." He murmurs, reaching up to cup your cheek.

it's breathless, it's passionate, and it's.. a little early. but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel it. he's just quicker to figure out when he loves someone 'cause he doesn't very often, so it's a new feeling that sticks out to him.

now that he's said it for the first time, watch out.

he's gonna say it 24/7, any opportunity. you hand him a chip? he leans over to bite it out of your hand and goes 'I love you'. he hands you a chip? when you reach for it he'll hold it out of your reach, wait 'till you look at him like wtf? and then say 'love you' with that shit-eating grin of his

he clings to you. his hand is always somewhere on your body, whether it be prying at your own and pulling it into his lap or laying around your shoulders, pressing your sides together

play. with. his. hair. seriously, scratch your nails through his hair, he'll purr like a kitten. brush it out right before his shower, give him a little head massage, that way you can mess up the curls and he'll just reform 'em. comb through it, braid it, put serums and products in it, anything as long as you're touching his scalp

i think he'd really appreciate forehead/cheek/nose kisses, of course he appreciates them on the lips too but it's different, casually intimate and sweet. he's addicted to kissing your cheek, he'll be walking beside you in the mall and yank you closer by where his arm is laid around your hip just to press his lips to your cheek

he kisses your forehead in bed, tugs you into his chest and leans down to press a kiss to your forehead. he might not even lean back up, he might just fall asleep with his face pressed to yours

he's.. obsessed with kissing. like, your lips are constantly swollen. of course he's game for a good steamy makeout session but mostly it's just lazy, slow, soft, sweet kisses, just laying together and swapping spit and touching each other, your leg thrown over his, your foreheads bumping together, his hand on your stomach

speaking of, he'll sleep with his hand under your shirt most nights, either flat and warm against your back or your stomach. and if you ever sneak your hand up his shirt to scratch up his back, he shivers. fully body shivers.

he loves loves loves it when you hold him in your sleep, sometimes he stays awake while you drift off just to watch you get comfy and unconsciously snuggle into his warmth. The first time you do it is while you’re watching a movie on your couch and he misses the last half of the film because he’s just watching you sleep peacefully all snuggled into him

he’s not only grateful that you’re his safe space, but he’s amazed that he seems to be your own. he’s never had a safe space before, even when his mama was around Neil was too. so being with someone he loves without any fear or anxiety is very meaningful to him. It means that when you pass out on his shoulder at the drive-in or let him cart you around to parties just as long as he keeps his arm around you the entire time, he recognizes that you feel safe with him, and that means more to him than he’ll ever be able to express

it’s why he takes such good care of you, he doesn’t ever want to let you down or be someone who fails you. the movie’s too loud and you’re starting to wake? he doesn’t need to see the end of it, the two mcs probably get together. he’ll just drive quietly and slowly back home and let you snooze in the parking lot. party getting too wild? he’ll take you out into the backyard and sit on the porch swing with you, smoke a cig and blow it away from you, let your head fall onto his shoulder with his arm around your waist.

your touch grounds him. he feels safe, secure, loved, supported, happy, and content all at once when he’s touching you, even if he’s just knocking his foot into yours from under the lunch table.

Billy may get touched a lot, but not loved, so when you come into his life, a beacon of all things sweet, he’s going to bask in it, soaking up your love like a big sappy sponge and letting it heal his wounds

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove oneshot #billy hargrove drabble #billy hargrove fluff #billy hargrove angst #billy hargrove headcanons #billy hargrove hcs #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove x y/n #billy hargrove blurb

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captain-mj · 1 year

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So, Captain, since you wont tell us why so many people keep leaving your place with bones, how about you tell us about how the 141 spied on Price and Graves on their first date because they dont trust Graves 🧐🕵

Listen, i've told ya once, i've told ya twice, i ain't telling ya again. I don't know about the bones

Soap heard about the date and knew what must be done.

"We have to spy on them." He announced.

Gaz nodded. "Oh, absolutely. What if Graves tries to do something to Price? I don't even get why he agreed to go on the stupid date.”

Ghost, who knew a little more than he was letting on, nodded. "I'm always up for spying."

Soap planned it out, treating it like any other mission. “Operation: Heartbreakers. Our objective: Protect Price from Graves if he tries anything. Secondary objective: Gather information.”

Ghost hummed. "Is all of this really necessary?

"Yes. Ghost, you'll be doing what you do best and blending in. Hiding in the shadows. Gaz has already hacked their phones, brilliantly done by the way, and got their plans. Simple date. Restaurant first and then a movie. Nothing too big. Ghost will be watching in the restaurant and ill be in the movie theater.”

“And why do i have to be in the restaurant?”

“Easy. It’s more difficult to go stealth there. Price chose a rather dim one so it’ll be easy for you to blend in.”

"Dim?" Ghost asked.

"Apparently its mostly candlelit." Gaz shuddered. "Its rather romantic."

"Stupidly romantic for a traitor." Soap nodded. "Gaz, you'll be on the headset. Unfortunately, I was not able to scrounge up cameras but I assumed we could relay the information to each other. If Graves is planning to do anything, we can rendezvous quickly." He nodded and straightened up. "Everyone understand your assignments?"

Gaz nodded. "Mission accepted, Soap."

"Mission accepted." Ghost echoed. What the hell. It would be fun.

Ghost put his headset in and relaxed at the restaurant. He sat opposite of them and far enough away he wouldn't be visible. Instead of his skull mask, he wore a simple back medical one, something common in the area. His hood stayed over his head.

"What are they doing?" Gaz asked, currently at base where they would be coming back to.

"Talking."

"About what?" Soap asked, already in position in the theater.

"I don't know. I'm not close enough."

"Can you get closer?"

"No, Sergeants, I cannot. Now can both of you shut up." Ghost watched them. "Graves just touched his hand."

"Whore."

Ghost laughed softly. "Uh... I think he's tracing the lines in his palm? Oh, Price has a couple of scars on his hand, I think he's touching those."

"Price has scars on his hand?"

"Yeah. Someone stabbed a knife through it once. Left hand so it didn't affect his aim."

"Huh. Never noticed."

"You two should pay more attention then." Ghost watched them talk for a while, only making comments when something interesting happened like Price laughed or when Graves pulled up his sleeve to show the tattoos up and down his arm. Ghost couldn't quite make out what they were from here.

"They seem to be having a good time."

Soap hummed. "Stay on guard. Just in case."

Ghost shook his head and they started to leave. "They are on the move." Price paid for their food.

"Prepare yourself gentleman." Gaz spoke up. "Ghost, make sure to make a quick escape."

Ghost didn't try very hard honestly. They weren't on guard so neither noticed him trailing after him. He watched them buy tickets, noting that Graves paid for them and also got them drinks.

"They seem to be going dutch on the bills." Ghost noted. "Is it better or worse?"

Soap responded quickly. "Slightly better. Price isn't being bribed or taken advantage of it seems."

Ghost hummed. "What movie are they watching?"

"Some pretentious horror movie."

"Which one?"

"I don't know."

Gaz thought about it for a minute. "Yeah, I'm coming in. I refuse to sit out here for two hours bored."

Ghost bought two tickets and handed one of them to Gaz when he got there, walking in with him. They sat on either side of Soap who looked a bit upset his plan was being interrupted. The three of them were four rows behind Price and Graves.

Price put his arms around Graves and Graves leaned into him. They were talking quietly during the commercials.

"They're... kinda cute." Gaz said softly.

Soap frowned. "A little."

Ghost hummed. "Maybe Price will be good for Graves. And vice versa."

"How could Graves possibly good for Price?"

"Makes him happy. He hasn't dated in a while."

Gaz shushed them. "Movie is starting."

They all mostly watched the movie, sparing glances at the two lovebirds. Price leaned in and said something against Graves's ears, hand on the back of his neck. Graves leaned into him, putting his head on Price's shoulder. They were snuggled up closer to each other and Soap hummed.

"You think Price is copping a feel?"

"Shut your dirty fucking mouth." Gaz hissed at him.

"Just saying." Soap muttered.

The movie eventually ended and they quickly left so Price and Graves wouldn't notice them. They waited outside and watched them start to walk.

Price and Graves held hands, their joined hands swinging between them. They were both laughed, bumping into each other. Graves had a small limp due to the tank explosion so he ended up bumbling into Price a few times, looking embarrassed. Price ended up putting his arm around him instead, hand on his hip. Graves blushed brightly and they all heard him.

"What a gentleman, Captain." His southern accent was definitely being played up, he also sounded so flustered.

"Only for you, Commander." Price purred.

Gaz and Soap made a face. Ghost also pulled a face but no one could see it.

"So he hasn't done anything yet." Soap relented. "But I was just worried! Graves is still a bad guy."

They ended up looking around a corner as Price and Graves walked to their hallway.

"Should I walk you to your room or do you think you can find it?" Price smiled at him, the two of them standing right outside his door.

Graves smiled and flirted back. "I think I could find it, though your room definitely seems better right now."

Gaz and Soap gasped. Silently, but still.

Graves leaned up and gave Price a goodnight kiss. "So, a second date?" He sounded ridiculously hopeful, batting his eyelashes.

Ghost went to talk but Price interrupted by kissing Graves, pulling him closer by his belt loops. Price put his hand on his lower back and pulled him flush to his chest. "Stay the night?"

Graves quickly went in Price's room. Price turned directly to them and gave them a thumbs down before following him.

"That somehow hurt worse than if he yelled at us." Soap grumbled.

Gaz looked up at Ghost. "Lieutenant... Is Price a whore?"

"I didn't want to have to tell you guys the truth about him... But yeah. A little." Ghost put his hand on Gaz's shoulder. "I'm sorry."

#call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #cod #call of duty modern warfare ii #captain john price #cod mw2 #phillip graves #cod graves #price x graves #graves x price #pricegraves #gravesprice

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4awny · 1 year

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Sp Driving Headcanons that literally nobody asked for

Stan:-

first one to get his licence obvs

usually a calm and defensive driver

gets a scratch on his car and says aw man my dad's gonna kill me

even when he's 30

drives drunk probably

car is a mess. shit everywhere

overall? man can drive. 8/10

Kenny:-

doesn't have licence. couldn't afford that shit

drives anyway

and it's his brother's piece of shit car

can't park for shit, usually just hopes for the best

has a bunch of naughty bumper stickers for sure

can fix his own car

something always broken

huge dent on the side. "jeez man, how did that get there?"

knowing full well it was a hit and run

felt bad so left a note on the dude's car: hit your car but I'm broke and dont have a licence. my bad sorry. hope you get it fixed

somehow never gets pulled over

overall, dude shouldn't even be on the road. 1/10

Kyle:-

suspect to road rage. man's got issues

hates traffic with a white hot passion

no one is allowed to eat in his car... ever.

cartman is the only one that ignores this rule and is constantly hiding wrappers in random places to annoy him

it annoys him

has run a red light on more than a few occasions

got caught speeding. argued his way out of it. thanks dad

overall, a decent driver but mf needs to chill. 7/10

Cartman:-

hates slow drivers

will happily park in disabled spots

and will say "not every disability is visible!"

and then actually gets offended when someone calls him out for doing it

usually kyle

the type of asshole to say "someone better have died for this" when driving past a collision that got him stuck on the highway for 2 hours

tailgates people for fun

hates being tailgated

gets cut off. follows them for 20 mins just to call them a useless cunt

1 ticket away from losing his licence

overall? 4/10. enuff said

Butters:-

taps the wheel along to songs

sings a lot

sometimes oblivious to road signs

because he's usually looking at the scenery around him

drives 10mph under the speed limit

just to be safe

always offers to drive the guys

the guys: 😒😒😒😒

overall, 6/10. score would be higher if the singing stopped

Craig:-

finds driving a chore

but also likes having his own transport so he can bail anytime he wants

like that one time clyde surprised him with a huge birthday party. but that's another story

parks at the back of the parking lot

then regrets it when it rains

never gets to play his own music, because whoever's in the front is in charge of the bluetooth. it's always clyde

mf always giving lifts to people

for free too

always questions himself why he does it

overall, dude deserves a medal for putting up with so much shit. 10/10

Clyde:-

never drives. simple as that

thank fuck for craig and drive thrus, huh

overall, the leech gets a solid 0/10 and that's being generous

Tweek:-

6 failed attempts before he eventually passed

thought he was cursed

turns out he cant drive for shit

only drives to places he's familiar with

so basically a 3 mile radius from his house

drives in silence. man cannot concentrate

tells people to shut up if they are talking to him when he's driving

like I said, man cannot concentrate

overall? I mean, at least he tries. 5/10 for effort

Tolkien:-

listens to the same radio station

pretty observant. can see the accident before it even happens

the most sensible driver out of everyone

somehow never gets asked to drive tho

takes advantage of that

always offers to pay for gas

is the only one that does

overall, a great driver. 9/10. wd buddy

#thanks for coming gang #about time i contributed #south park #stan marsh #kenny mccormick #craig tucker #eric cartman #kyle broflovski #clyde donovan #tolkien black #token black #tweek tweak #butters stotch #southpark #south park headcanons

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sleepysturnss · 4 months

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INVISIBLE STRING - Matt. S

── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

summary: you and matt have been friends for years, but you two had a falling out right before you left for college. however, some invisible string pulls you back together.

warnings: ANGST (in the beginning), kissing?, fluff, arguing! i think thats all.

this was requested!! :) i forgot the username but i hope you enjoy this💗

── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

i slammed my car door shut, biting my lip as hard as i could, praying that the tears stayed in my eyes. one little push, and everything could fall apart. one moment you could be on top of the world, straight As, sharing a dorm with my best friend, and next thing you know your walking in on your boyfriend making out with that same best friend.

i needed a break. a chance to get away from this place, new york. i had to find a way for things to go back to the way they were before, how they were in boston, just for a little while.

maybe that was the answer. going back to boston.

before i knew it i was sitting on a park bench, ordering plane tickets to boston.

i knew i had to go back to my dorm, but i was dreading it. amelia would be there. the girl who willingly and happily invited my boyfriend to cheat on me.

i walked up the steps to the huge building, opening the handle and letting the fresh college kid air hit me. normally this would be relaxing, but nothing is normal. not anymore.

my mind was screaming at me to stop, but i had to get my things. so i found myself standing in front of the door to my room.

i took a deep breath, before wrapping my hand around the cold metal knob, twisiting it open.

i walked in, looking around, i didnt see her. maybe she wasnt home.

i sighed, relieved as i began to shove my clothes and other necessities into my black backpack, not waisting any time.

i took one look at my dorm, my side almost completely empty. nodding to myself, i turned around about to open the door.

“y/n?”

i closed my eyes, turning around slowly.

“y/n please, please let me explain i-”

“im not speaking to you.” i smiled tightly at her, gripping the strap on my backpack.

“i swear i- wait…where are you going?” she asked, shoving her hands in her pockets.

“its not of your business amelia. im leaving here for a while, and when i get back dont expect to see me, im changing my fucking room.” i snapped, crossing my arms.

“y/n please! let me explain i promise-”

“shut up!” i said through my teeth, “your not explaing jack shit. you were shoving your tongue down my boyfriends throat, and now your standing in front of me asking to explain?”

i stared at her for a moment, before turning around and leaving the room. she didnt follow me, or contact me after that day. which is a good thing, because it took every fiber in me not to beat the shit out of her.

soon i was back in boston, everything felt right there. i almost wish i never left. things would be better.

but being back here just reminded me of him even more.

everywhere i looked, he was there.

the shops we used to visit, our favorite lunch place, the park where we walked his first dog.

he was everywhere.

and i couldnt get his stupid voice out of my head.

“so you werent gonna tell me?” he snapped, turning around. he never yelled at me, not like this.

“your picking up your whole life and moving to another state? and you decided to wait until the week before you left to tell me? your best friend?”

“matt i didnt wanna hurt you! i just-”

“your hurting me right now! how could you just lie to me!” he paused, running his hand through his hair. i could tell he was thinking. he always did that when he was thinking.

“fuck off. go to new york, and loose my god damn number.” he finally spoke up.

my heart dropped.

all the way to my feet.

“you dont mean that…” i shook my head, biting back tears. but that look in his eyes told me he was dead serious,

“bye y/n.” he muttered, slamming my front door shut.

it had been about two years since that day. the last day i had seen him.

i knew i was wrong, but i was young, and afraid. i would hate me too.

okay. snap out of it. stop thinking about matt.

i ran my hand through my hair, walking out of the airport, quickly noticing the uber i called.

i stepped into the car, setting my bag down.

“where to?” the man asked, turning his head to meet my gaze,

“can you drop me off at-” i paused, not wanting to go to my parents house yet.

“actually, nevermind” i shook my head, giving him the name of a small coffee shop near the bridge.

it took about fifteen minutes to get there, it was a nice ride. i really missed boston.

“thank you” i smiled at the driver, exiting the car.

i walked past the entrance to the coffee shop, entering through the back, walking up the stairs.

i used to work here in highschool, so i always went up to the roof at night. most of the time matt came with me…but id just have to do without.

i walked onto the roof, the chilly boston air instantly blanketing my face. i hummed softly as i looked around, the skyline sparkling slightly in the sunset, and the soft hum of car engines vaguely noticable.

i turned my head, noticing a taller figure standing against the railing of the roof. they were in a black hoodie, the hood pulled up, disguising their identity.

i shoved my hands in my pockets, approaching the person, assuming it was a boy, because his figure was masculine.

“hey” i smiled, my head facing forward, “i didnt know anyone else came up here” i laughed to myself, my hands resting on the rail.

“an old friend showed me this place” he said softly,

i smiled, “you sound really fami-”

i turned my head, my eyes meeting two shiny blue ones that i knew all too well.

“y/n?” he muttered, pulling his hood down.

“matt” i breathed, stepping back slightly.

“shit how long has it been?” he smiled, not like the smile i knew. it was forced, and tired.

“a long time.” i sighed, staring at my shoes.

we stood in silence for a moment, probably trying to figure out what to say.

“im sorry”

our voices rang at the same time, i laughed lightly, looking up at him.

“im so fucking sorry matt. i shouldve never done that to you, it was stupid. i was stupid, and scared, and dumb, well stupid and dumb are the same thing, but you know what i mean.” i rambled, making him smile again.

“y/n.” he said softly, “im sorry. i shouldve never said any of that shit to you, the truth is…i was afraid of loosing you. so i pushed you away. and i regret it more than anything.” he moved closer to me,

“im really glad your back, i-is everything okay?” he asked, a concerned look in his eye,

“everything is perfect now.” i whispered, wrapping my arms around his torso, pulling myself into him.

“i missed you, so much matt.” my voice broke, his arms embraced me, pushing me into his chest, his head burying into my hair.

“you have no idea y/n/n” he whispered,

as i hugged him, i realized that nothing else mattered. that i hadnt been truly happy since i had seen matt.

i started dating my boyfriend, and i liked him, but i didnt love him, i didnt love amelia, or anyone else. but i loved matt. more than anything.

“matt.”

“yeah?” he asked, pulling away just slightly, but still holding onto my arms.

“i need you to know something.” i whispered, “i felt so lost without you, like…like i couldnt be me. i felt so empty, and so incomplete. but when im with you i feel whole. you were my best friend. but…i never realized how i really felt.”

“what are you saying?” he asked, his brows knitting together,

“im saying im in love with you matthew.” i bit my lip, my eyes watering up, every bit of oxygen in my lungs had immediately disappeared.

“jesus- what the fuck is wrong with me i-”

“y/n.” his grip tightened, keeping me from pulling away.

“ive been in love with you since i was fourteen years old.” he whispered, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear, “i think thats why i got so angry when you left. but i never stopped loving you. its always been you.”

“it always will be.”

i smiled, standing up on my tippy toes to close the gap in between us. our lips pressing together, the light of the moon illuminating his chocolatey brown hair that sat messily over his ocean eyes.

our lips met, it felt like a magnet, like a string that had finally met its other end. like an invisible string.

i pulled away, just enough to rest my forehead against his.

“i love you.” he whispered,

“i love you more.” i smiled,

“not possible y/n/n”

we stayed like that for a while, our bodies softly swaying in the wind, dancing to the music that only we could hear.

nothing mattered anymore. not new york, or amelia, nothing.

all that i cared about was in my arms.

he was mine.

and i was his.

── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

woo my first oneshot omd 🙈💗 how do we feel? its not perfect butttt ahh

xx 💋💋

#Spotify #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo #sturniolos #matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #fluff #angst #light angst #angst with a happy ending #youtube #youtuber #sturniolo smut #trending #dont flop #first writing #happy new year #nye

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neuroticboyfriend · 1 year

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i just spent the past 3 years getting an A.A in human services, and i finished it. despite neglecting my health to do so. despite my ethical concerns with dominant models of social work. i got a degree in a field that now, i dont really want to pursue - not how i intented, at least.

and that's okay. cause you know what i do want to do? be an artist, like i wanted to in the first place. i want to do what would make me happiest - to do what i love, and give myself time to take care of myself. and you know what? you should do that too.

go to school. dont go to school. change majors. drop out. get that job. quit your job. move out. stay home. monetize your hobbies, or refuse to. focus on your wellbeing. don't force yourself to do what's most "acceptable" or "productive." that's no way to live. that's a one way ticket to burnout.

and if you, like me, really want to enact positive change in this world: you don't need to be in an "official" field to do that. and lets be real: those fields won't let you make a lot of the change you want to. plus? you will make the most positive change by doing what makes you happiest - even if it's not a job. joy brings joy.

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mannaima · 2 years

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Can i request some filty noncon for eddie munson..

just imagine your dustins older sister you come home from collage for spring break and meet eddie, at first you dont think much of the lingering stares and ''accidental'' toutches if only u hadn't been so naive

Homesick

Omgmgk Fmfmfm I’ve literally been thinking of this exact scenario for days and I get THIS in my inbox. It’s like fate.

Summary: You take a trip back to Hawkins and you meet an unfamiliar character.

Pairing: Dark! Eddie Munson x fem! Reader

Word Count: 4K

Warnings: Noncon, pregnancy, breeding, slight stalking (if u squint), pevert eddie, babytrapping

Hawkins. A lovely place, something you wish you could say, but there’s a reason you moved almost across the country to California for college. Well, not the only reason, you had a wide variety of colleges to choose from compared to Indiana, but you wanted to get away from that stuffy town, and college was your chance. You’d never tell anyone that, no, it’s like the people of this town have some unspoken love for it, despite its many many flaws. Spring break was approaching, and you were given two weeks off. A phone call one night before your vacation revealed your mom had bought you tickets to come back to Indiana, much to your displeasure. You wanted to spend your last spring break getting drunk with some of the few friends you had, catching up on some reading and maybe making a mixtape or two. But instead, your gracious mother had decided the best decision would be to buy you a ticket to boring old Hawkins. You pretended to be excited on the phone with your mom, her giddy tone made you feel guilty for not wanting to come, but as soon as you bid her a “see you soon!” You nearly punched a hole in your wall out of anger. Say goodbye to drunk nights at some random frat house, and say hello to boring old Hawkins.

It had been almost a full three years since you last came home, you were slightly nervous of all the changes. The plane ride was like a blur. A long. Boring. Blur. You just hoped your mom was still the sweet, albeit, a little crazy, woman. And you hope your baby brother was still the little dork he was, you sorta missed them. The flight had finally ended, the pain searing through your body as you stood, you felt like you had worked out for hours. God, why was being on an airplane so exhausting. You had gathered your luggage and you had begun to look around for your mother and brother, who had promised to pick you up.

“Think fast!” You had whipped your head in the direction of the voice, it sounded familiar to your brother’s slight lisp, only to be smacked in the face with a bouquet of flowers.

“Dustin! That's no way to greet your sister!” Your mom began to scold him and hit him on the back, which prompted a sour look to appear on his face.

“It was just a joke…” you had smiled at him and gave him a hug, you didn’t really care, you just missed being around your family, despite not even wanting to come here in the first place. Your mom joined in the hug, which made you feel warm, for the first time in a long time.

————

After moving your clothes and other assorted items back into your old room, you had felt truly at home. Just like the old days, only now you felt a little less anxiety knowing you didn’t need an escape plan, it was all temporary.

You got the usual questions, “how’s school?” “Is everyone in California stuck up?” “Do you live next to a celebrity?” “Do you have a boyfriend?”

You particularly didn’t like that last question, but you opted to pretend like it was like the others, not wanting anyone to pry further. You had a nice dinner with your mom and Dustin, talking, laughing, just like the days when you were young. Dustin talked a lot about this hellfire club, his old friends that you didn’t care about enough to remember their names, and some new dude named Eddie, who was apparently twenty? You side eyed your mom, but she dismissed it, apparently he was a sweet kid. He talked about fighting the monsters around town, meeting his girlfriend, and a bunch of other stuff that made you smile. You were glad life wasn’t boring for him, he found happiness where he is. You wish you could say the same.

You bid them goodnight, you were basically half dead from the flight and all you wanted was the sweet comfort of your bed, which made you pass out almost immediately from the soft cushion feeling.

——-

“But mom, pleaseeeee! Mike can’t host Hellfire tonight because his parents are having a party and Will and Lucas' parents won’t be home!” You heard your little brothers whining as you walked out of your bedroom, rubbing your eyes and yawning.

“I’m sorry dusty, but I have work tonight and I won’t be home until after midnight, maybe you boys will just have to cancel-“

“NO! Anything but that please! I promise to be responsible, take out the trash when you tell me to, and-“ His babbling went on, but when your eyes locked on to him, he stopped, and his eyes lit up.

“SHE CAN WATCH US!!! She’s old enough! Oh please please mom! I promise we’ll take good care of the house.” Your mom looked worried, but when she looked at you, she looked at the ground and sighed.

“I don’t want a single thing messy or broken by morning! And if your sister tells me you guys didn’t listen to her or were too loud, you’ll never have friends over while I’m gone again!” Dustin nodded and practically pushed your mom out the door, telling her to be safe at work and to have fun. You sighed, knowing you’d have to take care of a bunch of kids, nerdy ones at that.

“Did you really have to volunteer me? Now I have to watch you freaks instead of doing stuff that actually entertains me.”

“Well I don’t think drinking vodka until you can’t remember your name is something mom would approve of either way, so you’d have to watch me regardless. Besides, you can just stay in your room, Eddie can watch over us.”

“Oh, so is Eddie like your big brother now?” Dustin playfully punched your shoulder, prompting you to push him back.

Oh this was gonna be fantastic.

———

Around the time it was getting dark is when you heard the sound of people arriving. You trusted Dustin to be responsible and not light the house on fire, so you just stayed in your room reading some book you left on your bookshelf and playing ‘The Smiths’. You were at peace, hoping to keep it like that for a while.

You heard talking, shuffling, some small bangs here and there, but nothing to draw your attention. You were almost done with your book when you suddenly heard a loud scream, which made you jump into a panic state. All you cared about was Dustin, so you bursted out of your room. Only to see a group of kids surrounded a table covered in graph paper and weird figures, and some guy on the floor pretending to be dying.

“Uhh. What’s going on here…” You looked weirded out to say the least, why was he screaming so loud.

The dude didn’t stop though, his long hair flopping back and forth as he made gurgling noises and just overall strange sounds, you felt a tinge of embarrassment for him. But, in reality, you were the outsider, you were the weird one, everyone else seemed like they were having a good time, laughing along with the strange man, so you opted to just leave after he continued to “die”, and after the weird look your brother gave you. So much for trying to protect them…

Settling back into your room, you once again picked up the book and began to read, humming to the soft music, just low enough to hear the occasional laugh and bump from the group of kids. You sighed, looking at the clock, waiting for the time to go by quicker so you could fall asleep in peace, without being woken up by your mother about how irresponsible it would be to sleep while you were supposed to take care of your brother. The calm atmosphere was ruined by a knock at the door. You got up to open it, hopefully thinking it was Dustin telling you that everyone was leaving.

Instead, it was the weird guy, long shaggy hair, and a smile on his face.

“Um. Hello?” You greeted him, he seemed fixated on the room behind you.

“Woah, you like Joy Division? New order? The Clash! That’s surprising coming from a girl like you! I’m more of a metal guy myself, but these aren’t half bad…” He had pushed past you and began walking around your room, pointing at posters plastered against your wall.

“Girl like… Me?” You were slightly offended, making sure your face and tone of voice made that fact clear.

“No, look I didn’t- I meant it like- Uh. Let’s start over.” He whipped back to you and shook your hand.

“I’m Eddie Munson, President of Hellfire Club, and you are….” He began to shake your hand as you slowly said your name, very awkward…

“Sorry for the rude introduction back there, I just got really into the game. Did want to properly introduce myself to my best friend’s sister. How come I’ve never seen you before?”

“Oh, well I go to school in California. Haven’t been back to Indiana in a few years.”

“Aw, I get that. Well, it’s nice to meet you, gotta get back to the game. Hope to see you around!” He left, leaving you confused as you watched him join the game. What a strange man.

———-

Eddie didn’t have to hope for too long. He began to see you almost every day for the next week. He had decided Dustin’s place would be best for their next campaign, which they decided to do every night of the week since it was spring break, and they had nothing better to do. It was perfect for them, your mom was out until one in the morning, so they could be as loud as they wanted to. You didn’t feel like scolding a bunch of kids for screaming over fictional monsters.

But Eddie seemed oddly fixated on you. You didn’t want to seem like you were conceded, but he would stare at you the few times you left the room. He would step in the kitchen with you and just say he was getting water, but he took his sweet time grabbing a cup and staring at you while he drank. You could pass it off as him trying to get to know someone his age, instead of hanging out with a bunch of kids almost six years younger than him. But he looked at your lips more than your eyes, he always seemed to laugh at things you weren’t trying to sound funny. When you asked the group if they wanted pizza, he made sure to follow you in the kitchen while you called to order it.

“Do you think you could order a sausage pizza?” He made sure to put a lot of emphasis on the word sausage, and you swore you saw him lick his lips as you looked away. Yes, everything you said could just be seen as being nice, but with everyone else he seemed goofy and funny, but once he was alone with you, he seemed almost like the perverts you’d meet during frat parties.

Early in the day, you ran to the pharmacy to grab a few things. But you wish you had gone to the one just a few blocks away, cause Eddie freaking Munson was right in front of you, thankfully, not paying attention to you. If you only moved quicker, because the second you even thought about walking out, his eyes turned to look at you.

“Hey cutie!” You felt grossed out by the little nickname, but what was even grosser was what he was holding.

Condoms. Not just any, but the brand known to be for larger sizes. He also held some bottle of soda and a few bags of chips, but your eyes bore into the specific contraceptive.

“Hi Eddie. Sorry to bother you, I’m already about to check out-“

“Oh, I’ll check out with you!” Your eyes almost rolled to the back of your head out of frustration, but you just smiled and walked to the register.

“Soooo, did Dustin tell you about the sleepover tonight?” Your eyes nearly blew out your socket.

“Sleepover? At… my house?” He gave you a huge nod, almost like a little kid.

“It’s just gonna be me, your brother, Mike and Lucas! The other parents weren’t ok with it sadly.” You wanted to run out of the store at that very second. You had to not only deal with boys for an evening, but now all night? You firstly wanted to punch Dustin for not telling you sooner and also wanting to punch the smiling man in front of you.

Even though your items were separate, the cashier gave you two a smirk. You were confused until you saw the condoms on the conveyor belt right next to your assorted items.

“Thank god you guys are using protection. Kids these days are so irresponsible….” You wanted to interrupt her and tell her this freak standing next to you was not your boyfriend, not even your friend! But Eddie laughed, and swung his arm around you. Oh god, embarrassment filled your entire body. You wanted to die right then and there. You can’t believe he just did that. You paid for your things as quickly as possible and walked out the store. You hated Eddie Munson.

“Hey! Wait up! I'm sorry!” He was a pretty fast runner, cause he caught up with you in record time.

“I’m sorry, I just didn’t want the cashier to feel awkward. I kinda freaked out too, don’t worry. I'm sorry, can I make it up to you?” You shook your head, you didn’t want whatever favor he’d grant you.

“It’s fine. I'm just embarrassed. You don’t need to do anything.” He had his arms on your shoulders now, and he got close, almost like he was gonna kiss you.

“Ya sure?” You nodded and he smiled, got into a more acceptable position and ruffled your hair. You began to walk in the other direction, hoping he would get the hint and leave you alone. Thankfully, he did.

————

The stares tonight were more intense than any this entire week. You were baking some cookies, you were bored of just reading and listening to music, so you used some baking skills to make the kids some treats. But the kitchen and the living room had a clear view of each other, so everytime your eyes went to glance at the group, you caught Eddie staring at you. It was creepy. He had a weird smile. You just thought he was excited for cookies, but you just chose to believe your lies. You felt sick knowing he wasn’t gonna leave by the end of the night as usual, no, he was gonna be sleeping in the house you were supposed to feel safe in.

You just wanted to be asleep as soon as possible, so you didn’t have to do anything with them, not like they ever asked you, but who knows.

“Cookies are done guys. They’re in the kitchen if you want it, I-I’m going to bed…” You don’t know why you sounded so sad and nervous, maybe it was the stress of being confined into a small town again, or just missing California.

“Whatttt, why so early?” Eddie chimed, hand on his chin like he was staring at you for a while.

“Just don’t feel good. But don’t let that keep you guys from being loud, I can barely hear you in my room. Have fun guys.” You lied, you could hear them being very loud, using music to drown out the sound, but you could put on earplugs if you needed to, you wanted these kids to have fun. You laid down on top of your bed and started to fall asleep, you were so tired from the stress of everything that you seemed to sleep almost instantly, letting your mind create shapes and colors as you drifted into dreamland.

———-

You felt something. You felt multiple things actually, a touch on your cheek, the sheets shifting, your neck being rubbed. You kept your eyes shut, it was probably a dumb prank from your brother and his friends, it had to be, who else would be touching you? You wanted to give no reaction, nothing that would indicate you were annoyed or upset about this. But, the touches wouldn’t stop. There was no boyish giggle after they touched you, no, you heard a soft moan as the strokes got lower, to the neckline of your shirt and one hand began to rub even lower. This wasn’t the work of some kids, it was clearly someone with disgusting intentions. You finally got the courage to open your eyes.

Eddie. You knew it was him the second you saw his messy hair. He wore a Metallica tee, loose and had a few holes around it, clearly worn. His rings weren’t on, and his hair seemed more a mess than usual, probably from laying down. Fear sorta ran through your body, you were very tired and had no energy, but you were still scared and disgusted.

“Oh, you’re awake.” He said as if you were supposed to be used to this, so nonchalantly. The way his hands moved around were skilled, like he knew where to touch to make you feel good. But you didn’t like it.

“You’re so pretty. I can’t stop looking at that cute face, you’re just so adorable. When Dustin first told me he had a sister, I thought you’d be some nerdy girl, some geek like him, but no, you’re this little sexy deviant. But if you were a nerd you’d still be hot. B-But, anyways, I really can’t stop staring at that body like. Fuck, you’re so pretty. Ok, what I’m asking is, will you be my Girlfriend?” He was nervously looking at you, the words spilling from his mouth like word vomit, voice even cracking at certain points. You just stared at him, he couldn’t be serious, right? He couldn’t actually think that you would say yes, after he woke you up by touching you in your own bed.

“W-what? No, I can’t. You’re, you’re… Look. Maybe you’d be sweet, but I'm just not into you like you are with me. Also, this isn’t something guys should do. You shouldn’t creep on someone and wake them up in their own bed. Sorry Eddie, can you please leave now?” You felt nervous saying all that, yes, he did do some creepy stuff, but you didn’t want to hurt his feelings too much. He just stared at you. No emotion on his face at all, eyes sinking into yours, when suddenly it was replaced with a smile. Like he just got a joke.

“Ohhh, I get it! You’re playing hard to get! You want me to keep trying. So clever. Come here.” You shook your head, about to tell him he was wrong, that all you wanted was to sleep, but he slammed his lips against yours. His lips moved while you tried to purse your lips as tight as possible, sadly, you didn’t move quick enough, because his tongue slipped into between your now moist lips. You felt sick, you wanted to gag and scream and tell him to leave you alone, but you froze up.

His hands moved around your body, sliding around your waist as he reached to squeeze your behind, which warranted a twitch from you, and more squirming. He just wouldn’t get the hint, the longer his tongue moved in your mouth the more you began to blame yourself. Did you lead him on? Did you say things to seduce him? Were you in the wrong? But you just kept letting the thoughts get to you as you lay still, his hands never leaving your skin, the warmth suddenly felt like burning heat. His mouth began to move away, a trail of saliva connecting the two of you, barely visible in the dark room, illuminated by the moonlight.

“You’re so fucking beautiful. I don’t think a single girl has ever compared to you. You’re gorgeous.” His eyes stared into yours, romantic words spilling off his lips, but it was in one ear and out the other. The love he radiated maybe would have wowed you years ago, but after dealing with frat creeps, you knew the lengths men would go through to get into your pants. But strangely, the more he spoke, the more genuine he seemed to become. Letting himself stutter and trip on his words as he confessed his love to you. He probably didn’t know more than your favorite color, how could he possibly love you?

He gave you a kiss on your forehead before shifting your figure on to your back, his legs straddling around you. He seemed to be only wearing his boxers, because he pulled out his cock in record time. You winced, knowing you only wore panties and a tee from your college, too lazy to put on proper pajamas. You were setting yourself up, you had let yourself be vulnerable knowing he was in your home, it’s like inviting the prey to kill you.

“Fuck. I bet you did this for me. Waiting for me to get in here. Look at you, all exposed to me…” His middle finger began to pull down your panties, cold air hitting your pussy, making you jump.

“I can’t wait any longer, I’m sorry princess. When we do it at my house I promise to do more.” He swiped off your panties and began rubbing his tip all around your entrance up to the clit. It was a strange feeling, you didn’t like it, despite getting pleasure out of it. You didn’t have any more time to analyze the feeling before he began to push into you, making you whip your head up. Before you could even make any type of noise he slapped his palm against your mouth, shushing you while he pushed in further. Your cries were muffled by his hand, but you hoped someone could hear you. The pain felt unbearable. It stung, burned, ached, everything in the book, nothing but stupid pain.

“I know, I know, baby. I know it hurts. It’s okay, it’s gonna feel good soon, just let me thrust, alright?” You shook your head, you knew the pain would just amplify, and you were correct. After the incredible pain of bottoming out into you, he began to move his hips, dry cock filling your pussy. You squirmed, eyes closed as you screamed into his hand. He kept lowly groaning as he did so, and his pace quickened.

Despite you shaking your head, the pain began to slowly fade away as you could wear wet noises, sloshy and strange, but you knew it was the body's natural response to this type of infliction. You cursed the female form, but you began to feel pleasure take effect. You wanted to stop yourself, you wanted to keep screaming, but you began to moan, it felt incredibly good, you had forgotten the pain he had inflicted on you, almost like you were in a trance.

“Aw fuck, you like that baby? I b-bet you do, your pussy is so fuckin’ tight right now, it’s squeezing me so hard. You’re gonna make me c-cum baby. Jesus…” He didn’t stop his speedy pace, he let himself moan a little louder, but his hand kept pressing against you rather harshly. You couldn’t take it, it was so overwhelmingly amazing, you kept your eyes shut, as every glance at him made you remember this wasn’t to be enjoyed, but the pleasure you felt couldn’t be ignored, you could do nothing but allow it to happen, too weak to fight back.

“Oh god my love, I’m gonna cum. I'm gonna cum inside you. Y-yeah. M-make you a mommy. Y-you’re gonna be all pregnant with my kid. It’s gonna have such a pretty mom. I love you, oh my god I love you.” He tried to stay quiet, but he got rather loud, but your eyes opened immediately at the word “pregnant.” Oh my god, he wasn’t actually going to cum in you was he? You remembered he had bought condoms at the store, you had assumed he slipped one off while you were trying to make yourself disappear. He was just saying that, maybe he’s trying to scare you. Please be a prank, please just be him trying to make you intimidated, please please please.

And with a muffled moan into his free hand, he slammed his hips into you and let out his cum in your pussy. You felt the warmth flow within you, you could feel it running, a feeling like no other. You just stared at the ceiling, you couldn’t believe it. Your little brothers best friend just came inside you, possibly getting you pregnant of a baby you never wanted, from sex you never asked for. The numbness took over, you hadn’t noticed he’d taken out his cock from inside you and had pulled up his boxers and smiled at you, he laid by your side.

“You know…” He stroked your cheek, making you look at him, face as emotionless as possible.

“I wonder how cute our babies would look…”

—————

Your life has changed since that night, that disgusting, horrible night. That night became one of many.

After he had taken you by force, he had taken it upon himself to tell your mom you two had begun to go out. She was shocked, saying how she’d never expect you to date someone from Hawkins, always expecting you to date some surfer from California. Yep, you never thought the same.

You felt as if Eddie had told everyone in town you two were a couple, because in two days, old high school acquaintances had come over to say hi and say how good it is to meet you, and how they never thought you’d be dating the current school freak. You never thought you would either.

Eddie had also told your mom that you were pregnant, which you had no idea if you were. She was shocked, but not upset, but told you she wouldn’t let you return to California, that you would spend your days in Hawkins, you needed to stay with the father. She was the one paying for your tuition, so your hands were tied. Eddie also had his own threats involving a knife or two. You felt sick, your dreams of living anywhere else except Hawkins, Indiana were crushed by some guitar freak who now was the father of your children.

Everyday, Eddie kissed your stomach and then you, cracking a few jokes as he laid with you. All you did was stare at the wall and wondered how different life would be if you never came back. If you stayed in california. If you cut off contact from your mom, if you had only come for a weekend. Anything. But you just looked at Eddie talking and explaining something about DnD. You missed California more than anything, you missed the bright sun that kissed your skin when you left the house, you couldn’t stand the gloomy weather that constantly cursed Hawkins. You missed the girlfriend’s you made, sure, they weren’t the best of friends, but so much better than the so-called-friends you had here in Hawkins. You missed being free most of all. Eddie insisted you stay inside all day, not letting you get a job or go anywhere without him. You stayed in his trailer all day while he attended school, his after school activities and sold his drugs. You could do nothing but stare at the wall and wish you had never come back.

Your stomach grew, there wasn’t any way you weren't pregnant, he constantly fucked you and came in you each time. Despite the treatment Eddie gave you, you stroked your belly while he was gone, maybe it was instinct or hormones, but you loved the baby growing inside you. Maybe you could learn to love the man who helped you make it.

#dark eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #stranger things season four #dark! eddie munson x reader #stranger things smut #tw noncon #tw pregnancy #tw babytrapping #stranger things x reader #eddie munson smut

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llamagoddessofficial · 2 years

Note

The first time I ask something heh. If singing for moths is a scandalous thing to do in public, how would the boys react if she suddenly sang? Like when you hear a song on the radio and it sticks in your head and you can't stop singing or humming it

oh, the drama!

Sans: It depends greatly on where her singing was taking place. The moths are very smart, Sans can pick up from context that human singing doesn’t carry the same immense value as moth singing. However... that doesn’t mean he isn’t still moved by it.

If she started singing in his enclosure, while grooming or cleaning, he has to turn his face away because the obsessively adoring expression he gets can be quite frightening and might scare her away. He’ll just sit there, grinning, sneaking in some harmonies in the hopes of encouraging more notes out of her and subtly shifting his antennae to look smoother; regardless of their differences hearing her sing feels like he’s getting to see something he shouldn’t and he loves it.

... If he overhears her singing outside his enclosure, it sounds like it’s for someone else. He gets seethingly jealous. Again, he consciously knows that it’s not the same for humans, but that doesn’t mean he can ignore his jealousy- it’s like watching your girlfriend go over to someone else and start kissing them. It makes him want to be violent.

Red: He sings at her, sure. But only when he’s crazy. When he’s in his right mind, singing is much too much commitment- he definitely doesn’t expect her to sing around him with so much confidence. Much like Sans, the conscious knowledge that it’s not the same for her is greatly overwhelmed by the sensation of HOLY FUCK she is SINGING at ME????

When she sings, he can’t help himself, he chases her and goes in for physical touches... squishing her cheeks is his favourite but he sometimes squishes elsewhere too, getting heart eyelights at her furious noises. He gets physical because he desperately wants to sing back, but singing with someone who doesn’t understand the meaning of the moment feels a little too creepy and underhanded for his tastes.

... That’s all unless he’s in a crazy mood, though. In which case, singing is a one way ticket to his den. No stops, no refunds.

Skull: The thing about Skull is that because he was taken into captivity as a baby and deprived of contact with others of his kind, he doesn’t actually know anything about the dos and donts of moth culture.

He doesn’t understand why her voice makes him want to lie down holding her. He doesn’t understand why he suddenly wants his wings to be splayed wide so she can see all the striking lines and colouring, he doesn’t understand why we should be doing this together thrums endlessly throgh his head. He doesn’t get why when she sings, he starts to respond; making gentle sonourous sounds he didn’t even know he could make.

Singing with her gives him a degree of calmness and clarity he’s never felt before. He’d do it forever, if he could.

#llamagines #moth sanses au #zoo moth sanses au #sans looking very angry and dramatic but instead of anything serious its 'when she sings wonderwall with another guy'

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nrdmssgs · 4 months

Text

Golden days of winter

Masterlist

Hurt/Comfort/Fluff

Summary: Christine 'Riot' Vega (belongs to @gamergirlbonestaskforce141riot) has a little vacation and Nikolai and Olga 'Zhar' Samoilova show her St. Petersburg.

TW: Description of a panic attack.

AN: This may be out of character for Riot, but I really wanted to talk about the fear of loss and old wounds, that will never heal completely. Christine is not a crybaby - she is just facing one of her worst pains. And it's a songfic. Meeting @gamergirlbonestaskforce141riot is one of the best things happened to me this year and I wanted to express my gratitude for her. I dont know, how much it hurts, but Im always here for you, when it does.

youtube

When Nikolai asked Riot, when would she like to see his hometown – she didn’t hesitate for a minute.

“January! The very start of it, please!”

Christine was ready for Nik to deny such a wish, since it was one of the coldest, harshest times to visit St. Petersburg. But he just smiled mysteriously and typed in something in his smartphone. A few months later, one evening, when Riot returned to her room on the base, she found a fresh bouquet and an envelope on her desk.

“Crazy man,” she murmured under breath, pulling a ticket from an envelope with a small sun scribbled on it.

***

So now here she is, dragging Nikolai towards yet another sculpture in the next hall of the Hermitage museum.

"Nik, look! It's Diane, the Goddess of the hunt! Oh, I was her biggest fan back when I was still a kid!" Her breath is uneven from constant chatting, laughing and pulling quite a big guy after her, but Christine doesn't care. She is thriving on every moment here.

"And look at you now - you could take that lady down in any challenge." Nikolai rests his chin on the top of her head, hoping to slow her down, but it's useless - Riot already has top ten her favorite facts about Diane ready.

He naively believed, he has to be Christine's guide here, but that was before she crossed a threshold of the first hall. A few hours in, this little ray of sunshine was still full of energy and didn't want to stop even for a brief pause.

"Gonna have to explain my sudden death to Olga and Price yourself, little one. Do you ever get tired? " Grumbled Nik on their way to the next sculpture.

"C'mon, old bones, one more hall and you're getting a beer. My treat!" She chuckles, watching as Nikolai forgets about his sudden weariness.

***

Start of the year is a bad time. The dark one, the too loud and incense one. The time to clutch her teeth and just endure through.

But not when Nikolai's around.

Because with him, Christine can let herself be small again. Jump around him and start snowball fights, laugh so load, as if they are alone on the street, or get tired in the middle of a huge square and be sure, he'd gladly lift her up and carry around. It was a tad strange feeling, but a good one - go back to her childhood in this strange place.

This is a strange-strange place. It snows almost always, but snowflakes do not descend to the ground separately from each other - instead, large but weightless lumps of snow fall on her shoulders and rest on her eyelashes. When locals demonstrate their hospitality – they try to shake her hand, not switching from familiar to them death stares even for a second. She knew that people here are not very accustomed to constant smiling, but the expressions she saw here so far reminded her of times when Simon had to calm Johnny down by force.

This place smells of cold fur, fancy fragrances, and old rusted exhaust pipes. It tastes like a bitter liquor, you snitched from your grannies drawer. It sounds like homeless dogs’ bark and intricate piano symphonies. It is so otherworldly.

There's a huge hole, sucking in all the joy, waiting for Christine in every January. It's a hungry animal with myriads of dirty fangs and claws, it sleeps somewhere deep behind her reflection, caught at a bathroom mirror in the middle of the night. It waits to remind her of something, she never forgot.

But Nikolai is always there to help her fight this creature. As soon as he sees a shadow of sorrow in her eyes - he puts his glass of beer back on the bar counter and opens his arms, already knowing, how good his embrace scares the creature off.

"Talk to me, little one. Let's remember some good stuff, that you're thankful for, yes? Something from the last year." Nik murmurs softly, as Riot presses her face further against his chest.

The first thought she gets sounds awkward, but she is so desperate to draw her own attention away from bitter memories, that her mouth vocalizes it almost automatically.

"That Slaughter to prevail T, you got me, was nice. I'm thankful for that."

"Solnyshko*, I’m flattered, that my gift is a more highlight, than all your operations with Price and meeting Si-" Nikolai is being cut off by a friendly but firm poke. He immediately shuts his mouth and listens to Riots further memories, patting her back softly.

"... and of course, i'm thankful for you being back with us after the capture and all. Now your turn!" Christine pull away and sit back on her chair.

Nikolai speaks about the things, he is thankful for so casually, as if he is retelling his shopping list. He draws a little invisible line with his finger on Riots hand every time, he 'checks out' another point. He remembers everything: from meeting Riot, to helping 141 with every single 'incident' they had this year. The list goes on and on, until it ends with an unsettling "and the last thing, I'm thankful for is that my love is still around."

Christine's mouth falls open under the mask. Somehow, the beast, they two were trying to banish is now so close, she almost feels its breath in her hair.

"You had a fight? You let Olga, my Olga, down?... W-why?" Normally Riot is much calmer about her friends having their ups and downs with their beloved ones. Life happens, and she knows, that a good couple is not the one, that never fights, but the one, where the two are always willing to talk things through even after a fight.

But when it comes to Nikolai and Olga - it hits harder. Christine can't even explain this, but she needs these two to be together. They are like a pier to her, a solid cutwater, that withstands everything. And them not being happy with each other would mean, that something is very wrong with this world.

"No-no-no, solnyshko, no fights between us, never. We are too old to waste our time on that." Nikolai smiles innocently, as if they were speaking about some funny incident. "Its hard to explain, you see-"

"Ty snegurochka?*" A thin childish voice and a small hand that tentatively touched Christine’s sleeve made her shudder. She looked back and met bright blue eyes, looking at her with the same admiration with which she ran through the halls of the museum just an hour ago. A boy, not older, than seven. Dark hair, sticking out in a different direction from under the hat, a little face full of ave.

Riot was absolutely lost and didn't even understand, what the boy asked her about, but Nikolai was there to help her.

"Da, nastoyashaya snegurochka. Ty uzhe podarok poluchil?*" He started talking to a boy, smiling widely. The child nodded and looked back on Christine with a pure exitement.

"Vot teper` nado khorosho sebya vesti ves` god, chtobu snegurochka peredala tebe podarok na sleduyshiy Noviy God. Poidem iskat` roditelei, otdadim im obratno khoroshego mal`chika." Nikolai stood up, took boys hand in his and walked with him further in to the reastaurant, looking for childs parents.

Riot knew Russian to some extent, but when it was spoken that fast - she could understand only the topic of conversation and not the fine details. So when Nik came back alone and congratulated Christine with becoming a Snow maiden in boys eyes - she still was confused.

"A what maiden?"

"The "Snegurochka". Here we tell children stories about a beautiful young girl made of snow or ice. Her origins vary across different versions of the story, but generally, she is believed to be the daughter of Winter and a spirit of winter and frost. She's often depicted as beautiful as you. A-a-a-and you've got wet eyes once again..." Nikolai helped Riot into her jacket and started wrapping a scarf around her. He insisted on doing it every time, they were heading out, because according to him, Nik knew better, how to keep a little thing like her all warm and cozy even in Russian winter.

"Why are you having such sweet kids here?" Christine was sniffing, but did her best to not start crying.

"You should have seen me, when I was that small. Oh no, wait, you shouldnt - I was a little demon." Nikolai opens the door and takes her back to the cold streets.

***

They are back in their apartments only in the evening. Nikolai proceeds to tear Zhar off her work laptop and Christine goes to her place next door to warm up in a hot shower and write Simon, how her day went.

They have two apartments on the last floor of an old building rented. Riot can see Nikolais apartment from a window in her kitchen. She doesn't even try to peek on what is going there, but sometimes, especially in the evening, she catches a glance at their happy and cozy life. One of them is usually still working, when the other is slowly drifting to sleep on a couch. These simple scenes warm Riots heart.

But when shes back from the shower to her kitchen to warm up some cocoa, something is different - Olga is sitting on the windowsill and enthusiastically looking at something on the screen of her laptop, while Nikolai is nowhere to be seen. She notices Christine and calls her with a gesture to their apartments.

Riot smiles, but something makes her feel uneasy. Maybe it's that unfinished conversation with Nik, maybe the goddamned creature awakens once more. In any case, she quickly dresses and within a few minutes knocks on the next door.

"Hey, you want to blow shit up?" Not the most common greeting, Christine ever heard, and one of the last things, she awaits to hear from Olga.

"Always!" Riot grins wide and hugs Zhar. "What and when?"

"Enemy warehouses." Olga touches the keyboard and the laptop monitor comes to life, showing a broadcast of aerial footage taken from a drone. "Now."

Riot comes closer and her eyes widen.

"Wait a min- Thats not a simple combat drone..." She never forgets, that Nik and Zhar have a whole private army, but still such a warbird makes quite an impression.

"My man spoils me, I know." Olga lands on a couch and pulls Christine down, so that she almost falls on her. "But what's the fun of playing with these toys alone?"

Riot listens to the details of the operation Olga is commanding. The two of them have to wait for the signal from the Chimera men and launch the warhead, waiting for its moment on the drone. 'Easy endorphins', as Zhar says.

When the right moment comes - Olga pushes the laptop towards Christine, letting her hit the final command button. Riot smiles so wide, as if she's five again and it's her birthday. She pushes the button and mutters 'ka freakin boom, baby'. The warehouse blows beautifully - as if Christine planted an enormous flower of fire and smoke and now it blooms widely.

"You're a menace, Christine 'Riot' Vega." Olga plants a small kiss on the top of Riots head and lifts from the couch.

"And you guys love me for that," throws Christine, still watching the aftermath of an explosion.

Zhar makes a few calls and throws her winter coat on.

"Ok, love, I'm going to the café across the street to grab a coffee, you'd fancy one too?"

Riot nods and turns back when Olga is already on threshold, leaving the flat. She notices, that her friend, unlike her, is barely clothed for such a cold weather. But when Christine calls Olga - it's too late, and she is left alone.

Riot closes the laptop and puts it away. Suddenly her friends' apartment feels too big, too cold and empty. She looks around, stands and walks to the door to their bedroom. She already knows, Nik is not there, but she knocks nevertheless. Nobody responds and a light shiver runs down Riots spine. Suddenly her head feels flooded with unsettling questions. Like 'where is Nikolai?', or 'why is Olga leading this operation alone?'. And then another question pops up.

What did happen between them? What is so complicated, even Nikolai, can't find the right words to describe it?.

Christine pats a sweater left on a chair - its Nikolais, she recognizes it. But the overwhelming feeling of loneliness and fear only grows stronger with every next second - no matter how hard Christine tries to switch her attention to anything else.

"Come on, it's nothing. Everything is fine, Olgas going to be back soon." Riot hisses to herself, while her hand automatically grabs onto Niks sweater.

The world around starts turning, then blinks and goes to black. A deafening noise mixed with the pounding of her own heart hits her ears. She loses count of minutes, gets lost in space and barely breathes, trembling like a leaf on a wind.

It all ends as abruptly as it started. The first thing, Christine sees are giant snowflakes descending on her. Then she notices Olgas face right before her. At last, she looks down and sees Nikolais sweater, that she clings to with all her strength.

"Christine, love, look at me! Look at me, my little one! It's ok, everything's ok, you're safe." Its strange to hear Zhar calling her little one. Riot looks around and finally understands, that they are standing in their court: it snows and it is dark, they are alone, two steaming paper cups stand next to them. Olga covered Riots shoulders with her winter coat and massages her cheeks to help the blood flow.

"I... You left so fast, and I was scared, you get cold, and Nikolai was nowhere. I-I.." Christine feels her cheeks turning warm with tears.

"I lost someone very dear once. The most dear! I lost them in January. I-I cant lose you too, please! Please, Olya!" She doesn't even care anymore, if that is oversharing. Her beast, her hungry nightmare, is hard on her heels and she will anything to fight it away - even if it means showing her vulnerability to her. So she goes on, forgetting the cold and the tears, rolling down her face.

"I need you both. You and Nikolai. Together. Please! Never leave him! Please! If he ever does something stupid - punch him or come to me and I will punch him. Just don't part ways! I need you both! I can't lose you!"

Zhars face is growing from worried to understanding. She listens intensely and nods slowly.

"Love, I am staying with this man for as long as he would have me. And I'm with you forever. I promise, you won't lose us. Ever. We will follow your steps." Riot keeps sniffing, but catches every word, leaving her friend's lips.

Zhar hugs her and starts rocking them both back and forth slowly, humming some melody, Christine never heard. And as she does that - the beast slowly leaves Riot alone, no shame or regret litter her heart. All the sad things are getting covered with a snow, which doesn't feel so cold anymore.

Solnyshko (here and further Russian) - Sunshine

Ty snegurochka? - Are you a snow maiden?

Da, nastoyashaya snegurochka. Ty uzhe podarok poluchil? - Yes, its the snow maiden. Have you got your New Years gift already?

Vot teper` nado khorosho sebya vesti ves` god, chtobu snegurochka peredala tebe podarok na sleduyshiy Noviy God. Poidem iskat` roditelei, otdadim im obratno khoroshego mal`chika. - Now you have to behave, so that snow maiden brings you a gift on the next New Years Eve. Lets go find your parents and give them back their good boy.

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dontfall-inlove-withthe-moment · 1 year

Text

Don’t fall in love with the moment / M.H

Matty Healy x female character

Word count: 1677

Warning: angst?, poor parental relationships, deceased parent. Occasional smut :)

Chapter one:

I'm trying to hold back the tears that threaten to come out of my eyes as I remember what happened a few nights ago. I dropped out of college a some weeks ago and the moment my mom found out she freaked out on me. It's not like I don't understand her, I get why she's mad to a certain extent, I mean what mother wouldn't? But she knows I've been unhappy for way too long now, she should understand this is what's best for me.

I didn't know how to tell her, I knew she'd get mad, but as alway, she got ahead of me. The school sent me a letter to discuss the refund of my tuition and she read it. She told me she saw unintentionally, I know she was snooping around, she always does.

“Would you mind explain this to me Claire” I freeze, this sentence never leads to anything good “explain you what” i say, trying to sound calm, but it comes out more frightened than what i expected “Oh don't even try to sound clueless you lazy brat, you dropped out of school that i pay for and you weren't even bother to tell me” That shouldn't have taken me back as it did, she was gonna know eventually, i just didn't expect her to so soon “Mom how do you even know that, were you going through my things again?” I spit at her, trying to deflect the subject as fast as I could “Oh don't turn this on me. people that lie and hide things don't get any privacy, you know that damn well” and here she goes again, with her speeches of how irresponsible and ungrateful i am. Believe me, I know I'm very privileged and everything, but that doesnt mean I'm obliged to love everything about my life. Sadness and discontent and not something you have to earn, but stuff that's just part of the human experience, it's not any different than happiness or any other emotion and I don't get why it's treated differently.

“Mom i already told you, I'm unhappy, i don't like what my life has become, why can't you get that” My mom looks at me with disappointment and just tries to think of what to say. I know she doest like me, she has never told me but I can tell, anyone can, even my father knew, that's why he always made sure to show me as much love as he could. I always got along with my dad, he understood me, he was the only person that believed that I could do anything I wanted. So when he passed away, for the first time, I felt completely alone. The only person that understood me was gone, and there was nothing I could do about it.

The argument escalated quickly and after a few minutes, we were already screaming at eachother. She told me I'm delusional and I'm living in a parallel world, I told her she's old and doesn't understand that i dont wanna become her. For what seemed to be hours, we screamed at each other, but it wasn't until she brought up my dad that my anger started to turn into sadness “You know, your father would be so disappointed if he ever got to see what you've become” That was my last straw, i couldnt take it anymore, i had to leave this house, this town, this fucking county, there was nothing awaiting for me here anymore. So i didn't say anything, i just turned around and headed to my room to pack my bags “Don't ignore me Claire, i am your mother and you will listen to me” she tried to say to me, but i had already made my mind, i was leaving, and she couldn't stop me. While I packed my bags I started to think about destinations, what was the perfect place to start again?, i instantly new, England, well, london to be exact, i new somebody there that could take me in, but mostly i loved London, because my dad loved it as well, he always told me the crazy stories about him living with his friends in a tiny flat there, and i just knew that my life would be better there.

I bought a one way ticket to England and had no intentions of ever coming back to this place, so i just slept, well that until my 5.00am alarm woke me up, my mom didn't even tried to get in my room in the entire night so i slept like a baby for a good 7 hours, but now it was time to leave. My flight taked off at 7:30 so i had to be quick, i tried to do as little sound as i could, but as i was about to grab the doorknob her voice flooded my eardrums “you understand that if you step out of this house you're never coming back right” she said with a defeated tone “I really have to do this mom, i promise i'll be okay” i could swear i could see a glimpse of sadness in her eyes, but it was quickly brushed off with a look that screamed indifference “Don't come crying back after your little childish plans don't turn as you wanted them to” she spat harshly at me, and i just started at her for a while, trying to make peace with how things were turning out “Goodbye Mom” I managed to say, hoping I would not to break down in front of her, And i just left.

My friend received me at her flat the same day. I texted her last night about my emergency and she told me she'd love to take me, but I didn't want to abuse her kindness, so after I took a nap she started ro help me find a job. i applied to a million different places, but i ended up taking a job as a bartender in a pub next to my friends house, everythings seems to be working out, but I felt like i was missing something exciting, something that would turn my life inside out, and finally give that feeling of adrenaline I’ve longed for.

And that takes us to tonight. My shift ended an hour ago but I am still in the pub, just that now I was on the other side of the bar, drinking my sorrows away. I was lonely, I hated to admit it, but I used to have this feeling in my gut that all of my problems were going to disappear after I left home, but there I was, realizing that that’s not the case.

It started with an innocent drink, that lead to another, and another, and another and here I am, trying to hold back the tears that threaten to come out of my eyes as I remember what happened a few nights ago. Just when I was about to go home, a tall man approached me, he told me he wanted to buy me a drink, i politely declined, but he kept bugging me, he just wouldn't let it go “Oh come on love, it's just a drink, you don't have to act like its a full blown date” he would say. it was when i finally looked at him that i realized how attractive he was, with long black hair and beautiful brown eyes that were staring into my soul waiting for an answer, before i think about what i'm doing, im blurting out an “Ehm i, yes, i mean, yeah sure” Im pathetic.

“So, are you gonna tell me your name?” he says, with a cocky grin plastered across his face. “Claire”, i say “what about you” He looks at me with a confused expression but brushes it off quickly “Matty, i like your name” He says in the thickest british accent ever and i have to admit, he had me already.

We took off quick, we talked about a million things and time flew by. before we knew it, it was 2:30am and when he noticed he offered me another plan “Hey so its kinda getting late, what you say we continue this thing at my place” i paused for a second, was i really that desperate to have sex with the first guy that approached me and bought me drink? Technically, i was, i mean i was lonely and wanted to spice up my life, i wasn't gonna achieve it by rotting in my room and drowning in self pity. Suddenly the idea of going back to his place didn't seem as crazy as it did initially. So you know what, fuck it

When i came back to reality, i realized i still hadn't answered him “I mean, yeah, why not” i tried to say in the coolest way i could. He smiled at me and licked his lips, i was subconsciously drawn to his mouth, i coudnt help myself from staring at it, I was so heavily attracted to him it was embarrassing. “I guess we better get moving love”.

We got to his place about 15 min later. Surprisingly enough it was all clean and neat. I found myself looking around at his stuff, there was a whole lot of music equipment that didn’t just seem recreational. it occurred to me that I hadn’t asked him any proper questions about him. We just kinda talked about me. “So matty… what do you for a living?” I asked him. He looked at me and let out a little giggle “I’m uh, a musician” Amazing,, I was about to hookup with a 20 something year old looser “interesting” I say, a little more sassy than I intended. He just smiled at me and took a few steps closer until there was just a few inches separating us. We were facing each other. I could feel his eyes scanning my body and without further notice, he grabbed my face and kissed my lips hungrily, pinning my body to the wall

Hey everybodyy, so this is obviously my first time writing a whole chapter of something instead of just blurbs but I really hope y’all will like it and if you have ANY comments please let me know because I genuinely care a lot about what you guys think :))

Another thing. I know it’s very cliché that this is called the same as the blog but it fits the fanfic 😁 (laughs frantically)

#matty healy #the 1975 #bfiafl #75 #fanfic #matty healy fanfiction #ratty matty #mattyhealy2014 #matthew healy #matty healy x female character #matty healy fic #matty healy angst #matty healy 2013 #matty healy x reader #DFILWTM

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