#i feel like a hear a new word for em every day

[thecreelhouse]

pin back in the grenade

Paring: Steve Harrington x AFAB reader

Word count: 6k+

CW/tags: best friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, angst, post s4, mentions of wounds/blood/etc., fluff, PiV unprotected sex, oral sex (m receiving), somno if you squint (tbh not really but just to be safe gonna add that one), light dirty talk. title is from ‘liar’ by paramore. MDNI

request from this post (that was supposed to be a blurb and I am so sorry): 🩹  tending to each other's wounds, 🍯  friends to lovers, 🔥  slow burn, 🛏 only one bed

also combining this with a request I got back after s4 part 2 dropped (to that anon, I am REALLY sorry lmao) for post s4 comfort sex w/ Steve. anyway, hope y’all enjoy <3

“Do you get a new freckle every day?”

Steve’s brows crinkle together while he laughs wearily. “Huh?”

You’re cleaning the wound around his neck and can’t help noticing just how many freckles and moles he has across his body. Or, from what you can see, at least. He has his shirt off while you’re tending to his injuries from the Upside Down and Vecna’s destruction across Hawkins.

Over the last several years, Steve’s normally vacant house became a safe haven for disasters like these, also a place where the kids could be together to just hang out on the quiet, normal days. He never said it, but he loved hearing the kids laughing and yelling, sometimes having movie nights, or playing DnD; it was a welcomed sound compared to the painful quiet he had grown used to for the majority of his life. 

Tonight, no inside jokes and endearing name calling echoed throughout the house. No fighting over which movie to play first, or what kind of pizza to order, or the shouting and cheering that usually came along with playing their favorite game. If anything, there were somber conversations, softly echoing through the house, with words and emotions no kid should have to be worried about. Sometimes there was crying, or complete silence, where the only thing Steve could hear was the faint, yet now permanent ringing in his ears he had gained over the last several years. Any which way a sound like these carried through the house, it broke his heart.

So, you try distracting him as the two of you clean one another’s wounds for yet another night. You keep things light where possible, but the both of you know it’s only a bandaid over a permanent emotional scar that is torn open time and time again. The physical wounds always heal, but the heartbreak you’ve all grown accustomed to is one that weighs so heavy on everyone’s hearts, and you can’t imagine it vanishing anytime soon.

“Yeah, I swear, it’s like you’re magically turning into a connect the dots picture, or something.” Steve smiles, laughing softly through his nose at your corny attempt to keep his mind off of the trauma.

“You think so? Maybe one of these days you should come up with a drawing out of ‘em.” Steve’s trying his hardest to keep things lighthearted, too, but sometimes it’s just easier to feel the pain instead of forcing any positivity.

“Jesus, this is gnarly.” You murmur, still amazed by the damage Steve took this time around as you’re softly swiping some kind of medicated ointment along the open wound. He hisses from the dull sting, but the substance begins to numb the ache and inflammation, bringing some sort of relief, if any at all. “Do you feel like a greasy slug when you use this stuff? Because I definitely feel like a greasy slug when I use it.”

Neither of you had figured out the best way to dress the wound around his neck, so Steve had been changing clean t-shirts like bandages every few hours. The others, at least, were relatively easy to clean and dress, but they seemed to be deeper; Steve probably needed stitches on some, but he refused to go to the hospital, insisting other people in town had worse injuries, and needed the medical attention more.

“I mean, I feel slimy… but not like a slug— Jesus, how much sleep did you get last night?” At first, you think he’s asking because of your silly remark, but then he’s cupping the side of your face, thumb gently rubbing along your cheekbone, getting a better look at the dark circles draped under your eyes. You push aside the butterflies in your stomach from his touch as you reach for his clean shirt, moving his arms out in front of you to roll the fabric down and over his arms and head. For a moment, you miss his touch, but it’s back on your face after he adjusts his shirt.

“Seriously, are you sleeping at all?” He asks softly, eyes filled with worry. Leave it to Steve to worry about everyone else before himself. 

You shrug as you look away, not wanting to make a big fuss. “Last night was just rough up here,” You poke at your temple. “That’s all. I’m sure I’ll be able to sleep easily tonight with how tired I am.”

“Where’d you sleep last night?” He asks, knowing decent spots to sleep were limited now that the all of the kids were reunited again. Everyone, except Max who was at the hospital, and Lucas, who refused to leave her side. Still, there were only so many places to rest for the entire group, even in a roomy house like Steve’s.

“Um… well, some of the kids had the pullout couch, one took a recliner, Robin has the guest room, and Jonathan and Nancy have your parents’ room… so I slept on the floor in the living room.” You shrug, but you know that contributed to the lack of sleep, and extra aches in your back. How you ever easily slept on the floor as a kid during sleepovers, you’ll never understand.

Steve looks bothered by this, letting go of your face as you move to the faucet to wash your hands. “What? Why didn’t you say something? You could’ve had my bed.”

You scoff a laugh out, “Steve, you need a real bed after everything you’ve been through. I can handle the floor like a big kid.”

“Okay, well, tonight you can sleep in my bed. I’ll take the floor, I don’t mind. Or I can sleep downstairs somewhere if you want sp—”

You shake your head wildly. “Don’t- I don’t wanna be alone again.” You maneuver around Steve as he slides off the counter, and you take his spot to let him tend to your wounds next. Finally, you confess, “I fell asleep once, and it was just one giant nightmare. I stayed up after that. Didn’t want to see that shit again.”

Steve washes his hands, lips pursed and brows furrowed as he keeps quiet for a moment, thinking. The two of you always trusted one another, always came to one another whenever you needed, so why the hell were you isolating yourself now?

“Next time, tell me. Wake me up. I don’t care.” Steve’s tone is firm, but he’s not upset with you. Just upset that you’re retreating into yourself when he just wants to help. 

He starts peeling off the butterfly bandages around the slit skimming vertically down your eye. It begins just above your eyebrow, running down to your brow bone, pausing across your eye before continuing just under your lash line, finishing off past your cheekbone. Instinctually, your eye begins to squint closed, but the action tugs at your skin, stinging along the edge of your wound. 

“Steve, you haven’t had a good night’s sleep since high school. Why would I wake you up when you need the rest?” He starts cleaning the wound, sighing to pause himself, think carefully about what he wants to say next. You keep going. “I actually did come in last night, but you were sound asleep. I didn’t have the heart to wake you up, not when you need the rest.”

“Close your eye for a second.” You do, appearing as if you’re failing an attempt at winking. Steve’s gently patting the cut with some sort of medical disinfectant on a cotton ball, heart aching little by little as you whimper in pain. You try keeping quiet, knowing your wounds are nothing compared to his. “You can cry you know. Or curse. Or yell. Or whatever. Stop trying to hide it.”

“Mine are like… paper cuts compared to yours.” He pats the wound dry with a new piece of cotton, sighing again. “What?”

“You don’t have to hide your pain from me. I’m not sure if you’re worried its a burden to anyone, or whatever, but you never hid from me before. What happened?” Steve begins to apply clean butterfly bandages along the deep slit in your skin. Every now and then, his eyes flicker to your lips, and you have to remind yourself your other face wound is a split in your lip. “Gotta get that next.”

“I can do it.”

“Nope, if you’re gonna nurse all of my wounds, it’s only fair if I do that for you in return.”

“Steve, you don’t have to—”

“No, but I want to. You’re my best friend, and you’ve been patching up my wounds since we were reckless little shits on the playground. You care about me, let me care about you.” His thumb gently presses on the untouched side of your bottom lip, holding it steady so he can begin fixing that one up, too. You’re too aware of how the pad of his thumb feels against your lip, wondering what it’d be like to wrap your lips around it and take him into your mouth.

“See, this is why I gotta hold your lip, you’re so twitchy.” Steve teases, unaware of why your bottom lip trembles every now and then when he’s so close. Is he really that clueless? “After this, you’re sleeping in my bed. I’ll carry you and lock you in my room if it means you’re gonna sleep like a normal person tonight.”

Your skin prickles and hair stands on end at his words. He really has no idea what he does to you with silly comments like these.

“Okay, but like…. What if I have to pee in the middle of the night?”

Steve stops his movements, snorting as his eyes close while a smile graces his features. With a shrug, he simply answers, “Hold it.”

Your jaw drops, feigning offense. “That’s fucked up, Steven.”

“So is sleeping on the floor instead of a bed.”

“You need it more than me!”

“Will you shut up for like, ten seconds? I’m almost done with this.” He’s stifling his own laughter, before murmuring, “Not gonna lie, you’re gonna look so badass when these are healed.”

“Pfffft. Maybe, but no one’s gonna be attracted to this mess.” You’re only joking, but Steve frowns as he applies petroleum jelly to your lips, generous on your cut. 

“What? No fucking way. You’re still a babe.”

“Yeah, okay, Steve. No one’s gonna kiss me after this.” You chuckle, but notice the way his eyes flicker to your lips again, lingering longer than usual, then back to your eyes. His gaze is mesmerizing, with the warm brown color and hazel undertones, you can’t bring yourself to look away. 

“I mean, I w—”

“Hey, St— oh,” Robin’s in the doorway of the bathroom, smirking at the two of you. “Am I interrupting something?” You lean back, fingers curled around the edge of the counter while Steve’s standing up straight, taking a step back from you as he clears his throat.

“N- no, we were just fixing each other up.” Steve nervously spits out, adding a shrug like everything’s cool. 

“Right. Sure you were.” Robin teases. You want to shrink into yourself and completely disappear on the spot. “Where’s the box of movies you stole from work?”

You quirk a brow at her question, then look back at Steve. “You did what?”

“Shut it— I didn’t— I borrowed them. Robin, stop spreading rumors about me.”

“Fine. Sure. You “borrowed” them,” She flashes air quotes with her fingers, and you laugh. “Where are they? The kids are driving me up a wall trying to find them.”

Steve looks puzzled, chuckling. “They’re literally right next to the damn TV. Dustin should know that by now.”

She rolls her eyes, “Oh my god,” she turns out of the room yelling down the stairs, “Dustin! Get your shit together, man!” Before walking away, she glances at the two of you again with a smirk, “Have fun playing doctor, or whatever.”

“Leave.” Steve points out the door as Robin’s already leaving.

“Yeah, you showed her.” You tease Steve, trying to let go of what he was about to say before Robin barged in. You’re sliding off of the counter, and Steve playfully pushes your shoulders from behind, forcing you out of the bathroom.

“Alright, smart ass, let’s go.” He nudges you across the hall to his room, but you try turning away. Swiftly, he turns you back towards the door. “I wasn’t kidding, I’ll throw you over my shoulder if it means getting you to sleep in a bed.” He keeps a firm grip on your shoulders, pushing you through the doorway comically.

“Steve, if you wanted me in your bed so bad, all you have to do is ask nicely.” You’re not even trying to be coy or flirt, but it makes him choke on air. You spin around quickly, “Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah, I— wrong pipe.” He rasps out, clearing his throat. You don’t buy it, realizing your lazy joke was the reason for his coughing fit. Still, you let it go, not wanting to embarrass him. Steve continues clearing his throat as he pulls some old blankets out of his closet, and some pillows from his bed to lay out on the floor.

“Stay in your bed, I’ll take the floor, it’s fine.” You’re trying one more time, hoping he’ll stop being so stubborn and sleep in his fucking bed. 

“Why are you so damn stubborn?” He wraps his arms around your waist and picks you up off the floor slightly, carrying you a few feet over before dropping you into his bed. 

“I was just thinking the same about you.” You murmur, arms crossed as you look at the bed behind you. You realize how big it is, and have an idea. “If you won’t let me sleep on the floor, just sleep next to me. There’s plenty of room for the both of us anyway.”

“Sleep— sl— next to you? Same bed?” Steve’s voice cracks, pulling giggles out of you. 

“Yes, Steve. Same bed. Unless you’ve got another one hiding around here.” You’re surprised you’re even suggesting this when the idea makes you incredibly nervous, but you need sleep, and Steve needs sleep, and you’re out of any other ideas. “If you want it to yourself though, I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“No- I- stop it, I’m gonna sleep on the floor, and that’s final.” His hands are on his hips, his signature, go-to move when he’s scolding the kids, but you’ve qualified for its appearance tonight, too. You rise to your knees on the bed, hitting eye level with him while you mirror him, hands falling to your hips in the same pose he has. 

Steve isn’t having it, and before you can start verbally teasing him, he’s pushing you back into bed. You catch yourself on your hands as you stumble back onto the pillows. “I’m gonna superglue you to the bed.”

“Now you’re just being a child.”

“Me? You were just—” Steve sighs, hand dragging over his face. “Just go to sleep.”

“I don’t want to!” Your bottom lip is wobbling as your bloodshot eyes tear up ever so slightly; you’re doing all you can to hold them back, reminding yourself logically this isn’t that serious, but your emotions show otherwise.

If anyone else in any normal circumstances yelled this, they’d be deemed childish. You, on the other hand, you’re yelling this for perfectly valid reasons. And Steve knows what you’re feeling all too well. One more time, his heart breaks for you, watching the panic spread across your sleep deprived face.

“I don’t want to sleep, I don’t want to watch you get hurt over and over again in my nightmares. I’ve seen that too many times in real life, it’s sickening watching you get beaten to death time and time again… and I just— fuck. Steve, just take the fucking bed. Please? I don’t want to sleep, and you need it more than me, I really don’t mind the fl—”

Steve sits next to you and pulls you into a hug, holding you tightly against him. That’s when the floodgates finally break. You grip onto his shirt, balling the fabric into your fists as you begin crying on his shoulder.

“M’not going anywhere. Promise. You’re safe, I’m safe, everyone’s okay.” You know that’s not completely truthful; Max is hanging on by a thread in the hospital, and Eddie’s gone. Steve knows this, but right now his concern is getting you to finally fall asleep. “C’mon, you’ll feel better if you lay down.” You expect Steve to gently nudge you to the pillows alone, but he keeps his hold on you, carefully laying the both of you down. “You sure you’re okay with me staying in bed?” You nod against his shoulder, wrapping yourself around him as if that’ll anchor him here for good. 

“Don’t go,” You’re mumbling into the fabric of his shirt, wanting to tug yourself closer to him, hang onto him like a clingy koala, but you’re trying to stay mindful of his injuries. 

“Not going anywhere.” Steve whispers, kissing the top of your head before lingering for a moment. “Not going anywhere without you.” Neither of you untangle from one another, and Steve’s embrace is starting to calm you down to steadier breathing and shaky hiccups instead of heavy crying filled with anxiety and dread. With your body desperate for rest and the security you feel with Steve, it doesn’t take long for sleep to pull you in. Steve’s snoring softly shortly after you fall asleep.

———

At some point in the night, the two of you untangle, rolling to opposite sides of the bed. Steve’s woken up by movement, strange shifting in the bed next to him, and an airy whimper, just loud enough for him to hear. He rubs his eyes, turning over and sees your figure, facing away from him, remembering that the two of you fell asleep in his bed. 

Steve’s not sure what time it is, nor does he really care, especially not after hearing another soft noise float from your parted lips. Trying to adjust to the dark surroundings, despite the weak glow from a night light plugged in, he stares at you, or what he can see, at least, worried you’re having another nightmare. He moves closer and leans over you, prepared to wake you up and give comfort if you need, but you don’t look scared. If anything, you look pained, frustrated; Steve’s eyes scan down your figure as you move again, noticing the way your hips roll forward against your own hand.

Holy shit.

Frozen, he can’t take his gaze off of you. He needs to. He should roll back over and force himself back to sleep, pretend he never heard anything, never saw you—

“Steve…” You murmur, languidly grinding against the heel of your palm, face buried into the pillow as you writhe under his imaginary touch. His mind starts spiraling.

That’s why you got nervous when he held your lip, or when you mentioned how with a lip scar inevitable in the near future, no one would want to kiss you, and the way the two of you couldn’t take your eyes off of one another. How you looked so mortified when Robin walked in, forcing the two of you apart. He begins to realize how this isn’t new, this has been going on for awhile, and he can’t believe how oblivious he’s been.

The signs have always been in your lingering touches, when you lock eyes with him and share knowing glances no one else would understand, the way you’ve always tried protecting him, or tending to his now routinely scheduled injuries whenever he’s caught up in anything related to the Upside Down. It’s always been in the way you’d give up your comfort for him, how you’d never complain if he woke you up from nightmares, calling at three in the morning. 

How it’s an unspoken pact between the two of you to share your fries with one another, or when one falls asleep early during movie nights, the other thoughtfully covers them in a blanket, letting them rest. How you always keep extra medical supplies in your car just for Steve’s clumsy ass. How he’s sneaking you video tapes for free whenever you visit him at work. How you insist on calling him exactly at midnight on his birthday. 

You’d drop everything in an instant for Steve, and he’d do the same for you without hesitation. Whenever he tries to put your needs first, you’re quick to point out that someone needs to care about him, too.

Steve can’t believe how clueless he’s been, and out of all the times he’s figuring this out, it’s now, while you’re having a wet dream about him. Because of fucking course it would hit him now.

While his thoughts ran in a million different directions at once, he wasn’t aware of how hard he became, hearing your cute little noises, and how he’s still pressed right against you from behind. Does he let you continue? Does he wake you up? If he does, what’s his excuse? Lie and say it was a nightmare? Or tell you the truth, risking ruining something before it could ever begin, embarrassing you on the spot?

Without warning, you turn over, still asleep as your arms slip around his torso loosely, as if you’re still trying to be careful with his wounds while knocked out. One of your legs slot between his, and Steve has to bite back a groan at the pressure against his bulge. As if that alone wasn’t threatening to make him fall apart, your hips begin moving lazily again against his leg, and he can feel your sticky heat on his skin through your sleep shorts. Steve’s about to lose his fucking mind.

“Stevie, wanna make y’feel good…” You’re still asleep as you murmur this. Steve knew you talked in your sleep, but never like this. He can’t take it anymore. One hand ends up on the hip facing away from the bed, while the other is drawn to your neck, curling to the back to hold you gently as his fingers slide up into your hair. 

“Wanna make you feel good too, angel.” He’s guiding you slowly along his thigh, tensing up underneath you; he’s not sure how to wake you up without startling you, and he doesn’t want the building desire to end so soon. 

In time with his thoughts, you begin to stir, eyes fluttering open. You blink a couple times, then Steve nudges against your core again, and you keen, throwing your head back into his hand already waiting for you.

“Oh- oh, fuck, oh my god…” You’re growing aware of the situation, realizing your dream is becoming reality so seamlessly. You’re embarrassed, you want to hide away and apologize, but Steve rubs himself against the leg you have pressed against him, releasing a throaty groan; the embarrassment falls away, fast. “St- Steve?”

“Yeah?” He’s trying not to pant this soon, trying not to sound so breathy and needy already.

“M’sorry, I- I didn’t realize that I—”

Steve shushes you softly, bringing your face closer to his as he leans in, noses touching while you’re both making the sweetest noises together. “I can stop, if you want. I- I shouldn’t just assume you want this, maybe it was a silly dream—”

“No, it wasn’t… I really want you, Steve.” Your hands test the waters, sliding up his body, but only over his shirt, before holding his face; your gaze locks with his, and despite the dim glow in the room, you can see the lust ridden look he’s giving you while nodding wordlessly to give his consent. You lean in to kiss him, lips touching ever so slightly; you freeze as self doubt sets in, but he senses it, and kisses you back fully, mindful of your split lip. 

It’s slow, almost too slow for you and how wound up you are from the dream, but you do your best to stay patient. Steve’s hand on your hip sneaks under your shirt, just enough that the tips of his fingers brush against your skin, just beneath the hem. The hand cradling the back of your head moves to your jaw, fingers splaying out to get a better hold on you when his lips part against yours. You make some kind of small noise, a muffled yelp that slips into Steve’s mouth when his tongue slips into yours. Distracted by the kiss, your hips stopped rolling, so Steve begins guiding you along his thigh again.

A moan shudders out of you as you pull back to catch your breath. Steve can’t take his eyes off of you as your eyes flutter shut, head falling back as another sweet moan leaves your lips, losing yourself in the pleasure from such a simple action.

You’re not sure when, but your hands made it to Steve’s back, fists bunched up with the fabric of his shirt, not wanting to touch any part of him that might hurt, but needing to grab something. 

“Does th- this happen a lot?” He manages to ask, and in his head, he’s rolling his eyes at himself, because he wanted that to sound so much sexier than it did. You’re in a whole different world, though, already blissed out when barely anything has happened yet.

“Mhm,” You open your eyes as you answer, the burning desire low in your body growing hotter as the two of you make eye contact again. “Can I- can we— take this stupid thing off.”

Steve laughs, realizing maybe sexy isn’t what either of you need right now; being best friends already, it only makes sense that the only time the two of you can’t form coherent thoughts laced with lust would be when you’re pressed up against one another for the first time.

Pulling his hands back, he gestures to his shirt in the goofiest way, like he’s Vanna fucking White, showing off a purchased vowel. “You can’t take this seriously, can you?” You’re not mad, in fact, you’re laughing with him, and something about the two of you nervously laughing makes you more comfortable being intimate with your best friend. 

“I’m just filling in the blanks for you, angel.” He’s smirking, but he’s also trying to stifle more laughter, so it just comes out as a product of a snicker and a snort. 

“Oh, that was real cute,” You tease, reaching for his waist. “Words, words are hard.” You’re grumbling, tugging at the bottom of his t-shirt, carefully pulling it over his head.

“Yeah, don’t hurt yourself thinking too hard.”

Whatever smart-ass retort you had ready to roll off your tongue disappears at the sight of Steve, now shirtless. It’s nothing new to you, you’ve seen him shirtless plenty of times before, but in the moment, you’re hyper aware of how different this is. There’s no going back, but if you were being honest, there was no going back once you moaned his name in your sleep.

“What?” Steve asks, laughter dying down as he watches you reach out to his torso, tracing his scars, both old and the ones just beginning to form. 

“You’re so… pretty.”

Steve blushes, a rosy red shade blooms across his face, to the tips of his ears. “I— shut up.”

You scoff, “I’m being honest!” He tugs at the bottom of your shirt, waiting for your permission, but your hands hold his back, shaking your head. Shyly, you state the obvious, “I don’t have a bra on.” Of fucking course you don’t, you never sleep in bras. Even Steve knows that, forever impressed with how you could just unhook that damn thing with one hand so casually and slip out of it, pulling it out of your shirt without ever stripping. It’d take everything in him to hold his jaw from dropping, when you just wanted out of a ridiculously uncomfortable bra.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Steve reassures softly, only to follow it up with, “I don’t either.”

“Alright, that’s it, I’m going back to sleep,” You tease, beginning to roll back over, but Steve grabs you quickly to roll you on top of him instead. 

“Like hell you are,” He’s tugging at your shirt again, looking up at you with those sweet doe eyes, filled with wonder and curiosity over what his best friend looks like under everything. “Don’t feel pressured to say yes. We can st—”

You’re pulling your shirt off with a determined speed, like ripping off a bandaid, throwing it on the floor. “I do not look good with these bruises.” 

Steve sits up, all humor and admiration draining from his features as he takes in all of the severe bruising you have from a few days ago. “Wh… how— why didn’t you show me? Or tell me? Fuck, I probably made some of them worse—”

“Hey, Steve, it’s okay. Seriously. I’m okay. These are nothing compared to what you ended up with.”

He shakes his head, ghosting his fingers over some of the worst bruises, blooming in the darkest shades of purple and blue he’s ever seen on someone, including himself, and that says a lot. Some are beginning to grow into that sickly yellow, even greenish color. 

“What the hell do I have to do or say to convince you that you’re allowed to show me your pain too?” He’s not sure what he’s feeling, he just wishes you said something, wishes he knew so he could care for you properly.

“There’s not much you can do for bruises, Steve.” You shrug. “M’sorry, I just wanted to put you first. You’re always caring for everyone else before yourself, and I wish you’d let someone care for you, too. I want to give you the love and care you give everyone but yourself. These mean nothing to me, I just didn’t want you to be disappointed.”

Steve can’t believe what he’s hearing. “Disappointed? From what? How you look with these? Because I wasn’t kidding when I said you’re still a babe with your face wounds, and that applies here too. You have… no fucking idea how badly I want to get my hands all over you, but I think we should stop. I don’t want to make those more painful than they already are.”

“Steve, I can handle it. I bruise like a peach, anyway.” You’re mentioning it casually, but enjoy the way he blushes at your words, clearly thinking of better reasons to be bruised. You smirk, “Feel free to tuck that fun fact away for another day.”

“I— I’ll bring that back up later.” He murmurs, trying to focus. “Anyway… are you sure?”

Rolling your eyes, you grab his hands, bringing them to your tits roughly. “Does this answer your question?”

Enthusiastically, Steve nods, fingers already toying with your nipples, breathing out, “Fuck yeah it does.” You start giggling until he latches onto one of the sensitive nubs, fingers softly pinching at the other every so often, in between grabbing a handful of you. He groans into your skin, thinking about how long he’s wanted to touch you like this, but it’s better than he imagined. 

You’re arching your back as he switches sides, a thread of spit unraveling from his lips that’s still clinging to you;  your eyes to roll back as you grind down onto his lap from just the sight alone, fingers twisting into his locks, tugging softly as he sucks, bites, soothes with his tongue, then repeats.

“I need…” You’re gasping, head falling back; Steve takes advantage of your exposed neck, kissing up your chest before leaving small, soft love bites up to your jawline. 

“You need… what?” He kisses the corner of your mouth, but you can’t take it slow anymore, you need him now. You grab his face to kiss him, and it’s a little sloppy, a little clumsy, but he leans into it anyway. The two of you find a semi perfect rhythm, one that flows with the way you continue to grind onto him. You nip his bottom lip, tugging on it before letting go, and Steve moans into you. 

“Need you, need you right now.” You’re frantically murmuring against his lips.

“We don’t have to rush.” He pulls back, searching your features for any sign that something is off, but all he sees are your lust blown pupils. “I mean, I’m not complaining, but—”

You kiss him quickly before pushing him back against the pillows, shimmying down his body, kissing his scars with care along the way, continuing down until you reach the waistband of his shorts.

“Oh, you don’t have to—”

“Steve, quit being nice for, like, five minutes. Are you okay with this?”

With a gulp he nods, breathing heavily “I— I’m more than okay with this.”

“Thank fuck.” You tug his shorts down, almost drooling as you watch his length spring free, the rounded tip red with desire, leaking precum. “Steve, what the fuck.”

“You’re sending me so many mixed signals tonight, holy shit. Is that … is that good?”

You need to shut your mouth, mind too far in a cock-drunk daze to tease him with words. So, you run your tongue up the underside his cock, broadly, taking your time to reach the head, eyes on him the entire time. Steve yelps on contact, eyes screwing shut as his head falls against the pillow, but he pushes himself to look down at you, bucking against your tongue before you take him in completely.

“Jesus fucking Chri-iiiiiiiist,” He shudders out, hands tangling into your hair as you begin to bob up and down on him. “This… you… hhhhohmygod—”

You pull off with a pop that echoes off the walls, a sound Steve wishes he could’ve recorded to play when he gets off in the future, followed by the sight of you drooling onto his cock as it kicks with need.

“Tell me how you really feel, Steve,” You tease before taking him in again, but he holds your head in place, making you pout. “Am I doing something wrong?”

“No, no, fuck no. Your mouth feels so fucking good, angel, but I need… I…”

“Take your time, babe, it’s okay.” You tease, making Steve groan, both with annoyance and a craving for you to get mouthy, just not now. 

“Fuck me, just need you to fuck me, please baby,” He’s babbling as he tugs you back up his body, hands on your hips as you hover above his cock. “Need to feel you, angel.”

You push your shorts down and throw them to the floor with your shirt. “Yeah?” You lightly rub your core against his cock, and he bucks with a desperate whine. 

“Yes, please, please—”

Words become nonexistent as you sink down onto him slowly, walls slowly stretching around him, adjusting to his size.

“Knew you w- were big, but not like… not like this.” You’re panting, overwhelmed by the slight pain from taking him to the hilt, but the pleasure is greater, rendering your brain useless. Not a damn thing on your mind except Steve and how fucking good he feels so deep inside of you.

“Fuckfuckfuck,” Steve gasps, grip digging into your hips roughly, knowing he’s just adding to your bruises, but he’ll apologize later. “You’re so— never felt a pussy tighter than yours, angel. M’god, don’t fucking move.”

You giggle, and he glares at you. “Don’t— do not do that either, just… fucking sit there for a second, okay? I’m really not trying to blow my load this early.” You’re doing your best to keep stoic, nodding as you fold your hands and wait patiently. “Oh my god, why are you like this?”

Shrugging, you begin to reply, “Why n— oh!” Steve pulls you down to him roughly, kissing you as he begins to move, fucking you slowly from below. He guides you by the hold on your hips, bouncing you on his cock, causing your eyes to roll back as he moves a hand to the back of your head. Holding you tightly against him, your forehead rests against his as the two of you gasp and pant lewdly onto each other’s lips. You’re riding him like no one else has, to the high fucking heavens, and he swears he’s gonna die a happy man right here, underneath you.

“How often have you dreamt about this?” You shamelessly ask, sitting up and leaning back as you roll your hips, grinding down so he hits your sweet spot just right. Steve’s speechless, flexing up into you, jaw slack as your walls flutter around him. “You’re so pussy-drunk right now, huh?”

A strained “Mhm,” leaves him; he’s not even going to hide how he’s putty in your hands, right now, and as long as you’ll have him. Finally, he rasps, “Fuck, wish we did this sooner.”

“We got all the time in the world to make up for it, Stevie.” Your legs twitch and shake, signaling you’re not far off from your high, but they’re also sore still from days ago, and right now, you’re just making them hurt more. Great cause, of course, but it doesn’t dull the pain, so you’re beginning to slow down. “Fuck, my legs hurt.”

“Oh, no you don’t,” Steve pulls you back down arms wrapped around your back, one hand gripping around his other wrist, keeping you stable as he plants his feet against the bed, fucking up into you with everything he’s got. “It’s okay, angel, I’ve got ya’.” He grunts, hammering into you with so much force, you can’t help but moan loudly, almost screaming, but you bury your face into his shoulder, biting down to muffle your noises as you flutter around him. “Fuck, didn’t think you were so vocal.” At this point, you are screaming, but the noise barely leaves you as you keep your mouth on his skin.

Steve’s hips are starting to stutter, and his cock twitches, needy for release. “Good girl, don’t wanna wake up the whole house, right?” That’s the final push over the edge for you; grabbing Steve’s face, you kiss him deeply to keep quiet. The faint, metallic taste of blood works its way onto your tongue, and you realize your semi-treated split lip is split once again. You pull back, trying to keep as quiet as possible, frantically whispering, “I love you, I love you, fuck, I love you—” Following you into bliss, Steve pulls you back onto his lips as he cums, filling you shamelessly as you still squeeze him, milking him for all he’s got as he’s moaning into you.

When the two of you come down, covered in a sticky sheen of sweat and hearts ready to beat out of your chests, the shame hits fast as he pulls back enough to murmur, “Fuck. I didn’t even ask—”

“Birth control is a beautiful thing, babe.” You smile down at him, breathless. Steve sighs relief, thankful for whoever the fuck created the pill. His eyes fall to your lip before thumb swiping the mess away.

“Shit, m’sorry.”

“Worth it. So fucking worth it.” You giggle before he kisses you softly. 

Pulling back, Steve reaches out to cup the side of your face, and you lean into his touch, giddy and exhausted all at once.

He’s admiring the view of you above him, softly replying to your confession, “I love you, too.” 

The two of you are basking in the afterglow of one another, beaming and holding each other tight, unable to move just yet. Steve doesn’t mind taking a second to catch his breath, but then a loud bang against his bedroom door startles the both of you.

“About fucking time!” Robin shouts from the other side before walking away. Faintly you hear her huff, “Noisy assholes.” Steve locks eyes with you, both of you stunned and embarrassed before bursting into a fit of laughter together.

“Still worth it?” Steve teases, and you shrug playfully.

“Worth what, the impending shame fest they’re gonna put us through tomorrow morning?” You lean down to kiss him again before replying against his kiss-swollen lips, “Oh, fuck yeah.”

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #Steve Harrington x y/n #steve harrington smut #my fics #prompts #pin back in the grenade

[droserapetals]

Love em’ Toxic

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x (f!)reader

Synopsis: You end the long week of classes with a night out with your best friend, needing a distraction from your busy mind. You’ve been going through a rough and traumatic break up for the last couple weeks, so the break in your schedule is much needed. As you find yourself in a new part of town, you freeze at a familiar face. From that night on you are determined to prove to your ex (and yourself) how “fine” you are without him.

PSA- This is a LONG fic. I’m a whore for plot. You have been warned!

Content: MDNI, DUBCON, fingering, sub!reader, really rough sex, cervix fucking, mentions of pregnancy/impregnating reader, degradation, bondage, name calling (whore/slut), pet names (sweets/love/baby), jealousy, toxic!reader Toji and reader are in their 20’s (reader is in college)… can’t think of any others right now. Sorry if there’s errors! I’m too lazy to proof read this lol

It was a messy break up to say the least

You and Toji were together for two years, and during that time it was nothing short of an emotional roller coaster.

He would yell at you for showing too much skin when you would go out with friends, calling you a slut for attention. Not to mention any sort of male attention directed at you would result in a man wailing on the bar floor with a likely broken nose, and the both of you promptly kicked out of the bar by the owner. Come to think of it, you aren’t sure if there are any bars left that you are not banned from, on behalf of your hot headed ex.

And you would always find girls in his dms, thirsting after him and him letting it happen. When you would bring it up to him, he would dismiss your concerns saying it wasn’t a big deal, but you knew he was the kind of guy that loved the attention of other women, and deemed it okay because he wasn’t actually seeking these women out, therefore it wasn’t wrong in his eyes. Hypocritical if you say so yourself.

You felt yourself going crazy. You feel like you gave him so many chances, so many days where you were patient with him, only for another red flag to spring up, waving directly in your face preventing you from ignoring it.

However, the raw physical attraction between you two was so intense, it kept you reeling into him for more, creating this toxic cycle.

After many nights of crying yourself to sleep, of doubting yourself, you had enough and decided to rip off the band aid, breaking up with him for good.

You can imagine how well that went. It ended with him shouting out your front door that you’ll never find anyone like him and that you are over exaggerating the severity of your guy’s problems. You held firm though and slammed the door in his face, proceeding to block him on every form of social media.

You felt heartbroken, but mostly hopeful after that day. Excited to see what the future will bring for you after this closed chapter in your life.

So why can’t you stop thinking about him?

It’s the worst in the middle of the night, when your tossing and turning trying to feel the warm embrace of sleep take hold of you, when you hear his voice.

“That’s it baby. Say my name louder, I wanna hear it fall from those pretty lips of yours again.”

He’s dragging two of his fingers lazily in and out of you, curling in scissoring in the spots he know will have you mewling in pleasure.

“Yes-haah, Toji. That feels s-so good!” You moan out, bucking your hips into his thick fingers.

He smirks down at you and leans in to lick a stripe up your neck, sucking at the spot in between your jaw and throat, causing you to shiver uncontrollably. Your hands find the back of his head, tugging at the soft strands of hair there.

“Do you like when I have control over you like this? You don’t have to answer that, she’s doing the talking for you.”

He nods down to you pussy, squelching with each thrust of his hand, making the most sinful noises echo off the walls.

Your face flushes at his words, but you feel too good to care. Mind clouded with lust. Instead, you fling your head back into your pillows and let the pleasure consume you whole.

His pace quickens at that, moving at a speed that is making you see stars. Your eyes roll into the back of your head.

Right as you feel your orgasm approaching, you meet the thrusts of his hand quicker. Moaning louder in confirmation.

“You gonna come f’me dirty girl? Make a mess all over my fingers?” He pants out, eyes glazed over at the sight of your beautiful form riding his hand so well.

You furrow your brows and nod frantically, feeling the impending release approaching you at full force.

“Good girl, you just need to do one thing for me.” He whispers in your ear. The low growl in his voice making you whimper.

“I need you to wake up, love.”

You pause for a second and look up at him, confusion etched in your fingers.

“Wha-…”

“WAKE UP Y/N” someone is shaking you, causing your eyes to snap open and sit up from your bed, head spinning from the quick movements. You feel them back away as your vision begins to focus, adjusting to the person in your room.

“You were out like a light, I thought I was going to have to send a marching band in here to wake you up!” Your friend let’s out an obnoxious cackle at that, seeming to note that idea for another day with a hand on their chin.

Shooting dagger her way, you roll your eyes and clear your throat, hoping your face wasn’t too flushed from your quite interesting dream you were having a second ago. After your breakup with Toji you decided to move in with one of your close friends from college. It was perfect actually. She was looking for someone to fill the extra room in her flat, and you were more than eager to fulfill that role. You push yourself on the palms of your hands until the back of you hits your headboard, running your hands through your hair.

“What do you need, Nobara?” You grumble, voice still laced with sleep.

“Well, I didn’t want you to sleep the whole weekend away…” she crosses her arms while arching a brow at you, “and I thought we could maybe do some shopping together for a little… excursion later this evening.” She smirks, wiggling her eyebrows at you.

You’ve taken your breakup overall pretty well, but your friend knows you and how much of a hold Toji had on you, so she’s been a little more attentive than usual with you. Walking with you to your guy’s classes together, having movie nights every Thursday, and even running errands together. She really was a one and a million friend, and you were grateful to have her in your life.

“What did you have in mind?” You fold your arms over your chest, curious but not surprised with her ongoing antics.

“I say we walk around some shops at the outlets for a bit, grab coffee so I can say hi to that tasty barista that is always working there at this time,” you raise an eyebrow at that, but let her continue, “THEN, we can go to that new club that everyone on campus has been talking about tonight!” She’s jumping up and down at that, giddy being an understatement of her actions.

You ponder the idea. you haven’t been out at a club since well before your break up, the thought not even crossing your mind till now.

You friend waits for you to answer, almost vibrating the floor with her excitement.

You can’t help but to giggle at your goofy friend. You get up at that, and start to rummage through your dresser drawer.

“Well let me brush my teeth and get changed first,” you grumble.

You worry that your neighbors might’ve called animal control from how loud Nobara squealed at your answer.

————————————————————————

After an oat milk latte and long shopping spree later, you are in your bathroom touching up your makeup and adjusting your newly purchased outfit in the mirror, getting ready for your girls night out.

Once you finish up you makeup just the way you like it, you give yourself a quick final once over, taking in your look.

Your hair was done in a half up half down look, some strands of hair let out to frame your face. The dress itself, was stunning. It was a deep fig color that shimmered in the right lighting, complimenting your complexion perfectly. Under that were some sheer black tights, and a pair of black kitten heels to tie it all together.

You looked sultry, classy, and sexy all in one.

You would’ve never chose this outfit for yourself if Nobara hadn’t been there hyping you up in the dressing room saying, “this dress fits you in all the right places” and “you better get this if you know what’s good for you”. You chuckle at the flashback. Making a mental note to thank her later. Because looking at yourself now, you can’t even lie. You look tasty as fuck.

————————————————————————

It’s 10p.m. now as you and Nobara exit your Uber to find yourselves in the heart of the city's nightlife, a couple buildings over, a sultry club beckons with its alluring aura.

You have heard of this club from others before, but have never been because of its high status and reputation, and deemed it an unobtainable feat to accomplish securing a reservation this high of caliber.

You both start walking to the front of the long line of the club, it’s entrance bathed in soft red neon lights. You can already hear the pulsating beat of music reverberating through the air, and into your chest. As you both make your way to the front towards the bouncer standing guard at the door, heels clacking on the concrete, you can’t help but notice in your periphery the many annoyed faces and grumbles of frustration from the people waiting in line for who knows how long.

“What are we doing, shouldn’t we get in line-“ you hiss in Nobaras ear as she drags you by you arm to the entrance, having a look of unbridled determination on her features.

“Fuck that, we’re young and hot, let’s use that to our advantage for once.” She smirks over her shoulder at you, causing you to roll your eyes with a hint of a smirk on your features.

Once you make it to the bouncer, you friend does the talking, giving her best clueless expression at the man in front of you two.

“Sorry to bother you, handsome. Our friend is waiting for us inside ordering drinks right now. They said it wouldn’t be a problem if we just met em inside…” she twirls a finger around a strand of hair as she batts her eyelashes up at him, waiting for his response.

He looks at you both up and down amused, but with a tinge of hunger in his eyes, most likely covered up by false professionalism for the sake of his job. You try not to scoff or squirm under his stare as his eyes briefly land on yours for a split second. In that moment you weren’t sure if your friend’s fabricated story worked or not. It was a clumsy one at that. You bite your lip in anticipation.

Not a moment later he gives you both a kurt nod and lifts up the rope, allowing you two to pass through into the main entrance. After getting out of view, you can’t help but to gawk at your friend at the fact that her plan actually worked. She looks back at you with slight surprise gleaming in her eyes as well, but that quickly became replaced with a wide grin on her features as you both make your way to the bar, arms linked together.

“I’m not even sure he believed that,” you laugh as you both sit down on a couple stools, quickly giving your drink orders to the bartender who skillfully begins to make quick work on both of your drinks.

That is when you finally glance around the room.

The air is thick with the faint smell of smoke, and a musk of cologne and perfume as bodies sway and grind to the seductive rhythm of the music, creating a hypnotic dance that mirrors the pulsating beats. Soft, dim lighting casts a sensuous glow, revealing the contours of flushed faces and glistening skin. The dance floor becomes an intimate space where desire and movement entwine, and the bar, adorned with mirrored accents, reflects the seductive energy that permeates the atmosphere. It's a scene drenched in allure, where the music becomes a shared heartbeat, and every glance exchanged carries the promise of untold stories.

You, with a lack of experience in this type of scenery, find yourself oddly at home with this crowd of people. Fitting in like an unknowingly lost puzzle piece. Your lips tug up in a small smile at that.

At that moment the song changes and you are met with one of your favorite songs gracing your eardrums. You and Nobara both make eye contact at the same time, squealing, grabbing each others hand and using you other to snatch your drinks of the counter, and make your way onto the dance floor.

Little do you know, leaning against a particularly dark wall of the building, a pair of predatory green eyes settle on your periphery, gleaming in the dim lighting.

You find yourself getting lost in the music, caressing your body up and down swaying to the rhythm. You were already starting to feel buzzed from your drink, now empty, discarded on an unoccupied table. You have always been a lightweight, but you are also pretty sure that the drinks here were extra strong, adding to your growing confidence.

Before you know it Nobara is being whisked away from you by a good looking man, not before she gives you a look that clearly asks if this is okay. You smirk and wave her off, wanting her to have as much fun tonight as possible.

As you turn back around scanning the area, you freeze a little in place. Over in one of the private seating areas you make eye contact with a familiar face.

There Toji is, legs spread cockily in the booth he resided in, arms resting on the top ledge of the seats as he leers over at you with a smirk playing on his features.

He’s not alone though. Two women in scantily clad attire are on either side of him, rubbing his chest and giggling at something he said. Clearly intoxicated themselves.

You surprisingly don’t feel as distraught as you may have guessed at the sight. Mostly just smoldering anger and disgust.

You then look away, but not before you see his eyes flicker into an expression you don’t recognize as you make your way into the dance floor once again. You scan your surroundings and find a man sitting by himself, already noticing you early in the night when you entered the place. You can tell by the way the man squirms in his chair that he is enamored by you. You let a slight smirk play on your lips as you walk up to him, hips swaying as you do so.

He noticeably gulps and tugs at his collar as you lean over him. Hands resting on either of his armrests caging him in. God you were buzzed.

Toji is seething in rage at the sight before him. Your breath ghosts against the stranger’s ear as you whisper something way out of his earshot. The man fidgets in his seat and nods, causing you to let out a wide grin as he gets up and walks with you back onto the dance floor.

Another one of your favorite songs starts playing, causing you to press up against the man’s back, grinding softly against him to the beat in perfect rhythm.

The man (you quickly find out is named Yuuji) slides his hands down your body, gaining courage himself, grabbing your waist with one and the other ghosting over your rib cage.

You softly keen into his touch as one of your hands reaches up to fist into his hair, bringing his head down to nibble on your neck.

Your eyes glaze over as you stare at Toji, mouth parted open in bliss that quickly turns into a smirk as you see him lean forward, causing the girls by him to jump, as he stares back at you. Gripping the table in front of him enough to snap it in half.

Fueling you further, you break the eye contact to turn around, facing Yuuji now. The movement giving him better access to your neck as his hands travel down to rest on the small of your back, dragging slow circles with his thumbs around the flesh.

You whimper in his ear causing him to groan in reply.

“You are… unreal,” he breathes into your neck. Causing a faint blush to form on your cheeks as he worships your body on the dance floor.

You notice his eagerness escalating when you feel something poke into your lower belly, causing you to snap back to reality slightly. You weren’t ready to hook up with someone else, even though Yuuji seemed like a sweet guy. You still need time to get over your ex (that is currently sitting in a void of darkness while watching your every movement) so you kindly excuse yourself to the bathroom, giving him a polite and shy smile, scurrying away, leaving him with an uncomfortable hard on on the dance floor.

You eventually find the restrooms, opening the door and quickly shutting it behind you as your back rests against the door with a huff. With a quick scan of your surroundings you realize the bathroom is empty, thank god.

What am I doing? You ask yourself, making your way to the sink and staring at your features, casted in a red glow from the light overhead. You don’t know what has came over you. You swear Toji brings out the literal worst in you. No wonder why you two are split up. Your fists clench around the counter, glaring in your reflection as you think back to the scene you saw outside just a second ago.

He was always shaming you for being a slut while you were together and not even two weeks after your separation, you catch him here with two bimbos fawning over him and copping a feel? You scoff and shake your head, reaching into your purse to re apply more of your lip gloss, leaning forward a little to get a better look.

Too focused on the task at hand, you don’t notice someone entering the bathroom until you hear the music getting louder for a moment before the door closes, muffling the sound again.

What does peak your interest is the sound of metal sliding then clicking, indicating someone has locked it.

You pause what you’re doing and look past your reflection at the pair of eyes that have narrowed in on your plump lips, then slowly dragging back over to your face. Realizing who it was, you gasp faintly and stand up straighter, tugging your dress down subconsciously.

“The fuck was that?” Toji growls as he inches closer to you, causing you to tremble slightly in fear.

You reign your emotions in check, and scoff at him, not even bothering to look back at him as you apply your shimmery gloss.

“I don’t know what you mean, I’m just enjoying my night out.” you state matter of factly.

“You think you can just parade around like a common whore in that tight dress of yours and feel up whoever you want now that we’re not together?” He is seething now. Seeming to visualize earlier’s endeavors quite clearly still.

“I’m wearing a lot more than those tramps you had dangling off your shoulders a second ago.” You state coldly. “I see you’re still on your high horse thinking you’re better than everyone else.”

His mouth curls up in a silent snarl as he closes the distance between you two, his hard chest pressing into your back as your hips bite into the counter. You wince slightly at the contact.

“You keep your dirty mouth shut if you know what’s good for you,” he hisses. Leaning down so his hot breath is fanning against the shell of your ear.

“You are mine. No matter what. You can be delusional and convince yourself that we are not right for each other, but I find myself to be quite convincing.”

You shudder as you feel his hand graze up your inner thigh, stopping just before brushing against your clothed cunt.

“Hm. Already wet for me huh? And I barely even touched you,” he smiles harshly at your flushed expression in the mirror, his other hand gripping your hip in a vice. Stilling your movements. You know you couldn’t get away if you even tried.

“That is from the guy on the dance floor earlier-” you gasp.

Quicker than anything you’ve seen before, Toji’s giant hand is around your throat, his body pushing you over the counter as his other hand rips your tights and underwear off in one swift motion and then plunges two fingers into you without warning.

You bite your lip but a squeak escapes your mouth as you start to feel light headed. Partly from the stinging pleasure of your walls being stretched so suddenly and partly from his bruising grip on your jugular.

Toji notices and loosens his grip slightly.

“Nuh-uh. Don’t want you passing out on me. I want you to be awake and aware for what I’m about to do to you.” He chuckles darkly as he thrusts his fingers in and out of you teasingly, pausing every now and then to curl or make a scissoring motion.

Right when the pain molds into heated pleasure, he withdraws his fingers from you, bringing his fingers up to inspect, glistening with your juices.

You wiggle in his grip as he brings his fingers to your mouth.

“Suck,” he orders.

You turn you head to the side but his hand around you neck moves to your jaw to turn it back towards him, forcing your mouth to open and plunging his fingers inside.

“Lick them clean for me, slut. And if you even think of biting I will go a lot less easy on you.” He warns, eyes daring you to even try.

You slowly drag your tongue over his digits and suck on his fingers as you taste yourself, glaring at him through hooded eyes.

“Good girl,” he muses. A feline like grin spreading over his features. He then uses that hand to reach down between you two, and you hear the sound of his belt buckle loosening and his zipper opening up.

“N-no,” you whimper. Trying to gasp out the word over your constricted airways. Even though the thought of him barreling into you right now made you weak just thinking about it, you knew that if you two fucked, you would be roped in to his toxic cycle once again. And you were doing so good, you didn’t want that.

“What’s that sweetness? Can’t hear ya.” He chuckles darkly. Dragging his leaking tip over your drenched folds.

Your thighs quiver at the sensation. Eyes locking with his as he slams himself into you without warning.

You let out a high pitched scream that he quickly silences by wrapping his belt around your mouth, securing it around your head.

You had no choice but to bite into the leather and roll your eyes into the back of your head as he slams into you at a brutal pace. Only able to hear your muffled wails and the sound of skin slapping echoing off the bathroom walls.

“Shit, she feels tighter than before. Need to get this pussy molded to my cock again,” He grunts, putting you in a firm headlock as he holds the strap of his belt around your head, causing you to drool around the leather.

His eyes flicker to yours as his gaze deepens in rage. “You nasty bitch. Trying to make me jealous by feeling up the first guy you saw out there? Well look where that got you now.” He growls in your ear, biting your earlobe.

You could barely hold yourself up, your hands gripping his biceps and digging into the flesh there. He groans at the sensation.

He doesn’t let up. The stinging pain almost fueling him further as his length slams into your walls, nudging your cervix with every stroke.

You start to feel you orgasm barreling at you with full force, your walls starting to clench around his cock causing him to thrust into you shallower, hitting that spot inside you that has you seeing stars.

“Cumming already sweets? How cute. Missed daddy’s cock that much huh?” He leans back to get a better view of your ass, fully exposed from your dress riding up at his menstruations. The hand that is behind your head, fisting the leather belt pushes you down so that your face is smushed onto the counter, smearing your tears and makeup on the surface along with it.

His other hand palms your ass, then gives it a harsh smack, causing you to let out a long moan as your orgasm crashes down on you, sending waves of pleasure over your body.

He uses the belt to yank you up so that he could watch you come undone. Chest pressed against your back as he slides your dress down your torso, exposing your bouncing tits to him in the reflection of the mirror. He slows down his movements slightly to take you in better.

Your tears and drool made a mess of your makeup. Mascara was running down your cheeks as a light sheen of sweat covered your whole body from the exhaustion.

“What a pretty thing. None of these girls compare to you, you know. Not in the slightest.” His hand grazes your cheek almost lovingly, causing your to whimper at the contact. “You’re gonna be the death of me.”

His pace quickens once again and you feel his cock throbbing at his impending release. Your eyes widen as you realize that he has no intentions of pulling out of you.

“Gonna fill this pretty pussy up with my cum, yeah? Gon’ put a kid in you so you never leave me again,” he’s babbling to himself. Completely loosing his mind in pleasure. His thrusts become sloppy indicating how close he is. Then he gives out a final sharp thrust as he stills inside you, sheathing himself as deep as he can go, throwing his head back with a groan as his warm seed spills inside of you.

It doesn’t seem to end. You feel your stomach swell slightly as he fills you up, leaning down as he lazily drags his tongue over the length of your neck, the salty sweat coating his tastebuds.

Eventually he pulls out of you with a pop, and drops to his knees, inspecting the damage. Some of his cum begins to trickle out of your quivering hole, but he’s quick to scoop it up with his pointer and middle finger to sheathe it back inside you, not letting any of it go to waste.

You are still panting, cheek resting on the cool counter as he removes the belt from your mouth and tugs his slacks back on, buttoning them up.

“Don’t think you can get rid of me that easily,” he says with a sneer. “I’ll be seeing you very soon.”

At that he unlocks the door and slips out without a word, leaving you in a mess of fluids and sweat. Legs quivering slightly as they try to hold you up.

#jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen #tw: dubcon #jjk x reader #smut #toji fushiguro #toji x reader #toji smut #jjk x you #rough kink

[lovebugism]

hi bug! could I request a fall back to school blurb with eddie and shy!reader, where he sticks up for reader in school against a bully? I love hurt/comforts!

ty for requesting lovely! this is sort of a part 2 for this drabble, but can be read as a stand-alone fic!! — eddie has a talk with jason when he finds out he's been messing with you again (mentions of bullying, hurt/comfort, established relationship, 1.7k)

fictober (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ)

Eddie picks red and orange leaves from your hair. His touch is perfectly gentle despite the red-hot rage burning houses behind his ribcage. 

You’re a shaken-up mess in the back of his van. He knows Jason did something to you — you just won’t tell him what.

He pries, anyway, though, trying his best to keep a nonchalant air about him so you don’t shut down completely. Outside the open trunk, he stands in between your legs and takes care of you. It feels like human nature to do both.

“What happened, babe?” Eddie wonders with a forced laugh, plucking a brown stem from the crown of your head. He flicks it to the pavement below you. “Did he, like, trip you into a pile of leaves or something?”

He’s smiling so sweetly at you, but you know he’ll flip if you’re honest. 

You purse your lips to the side and shake your head, turning your glassy eyes to your swaying feet. 

“No, he…” you start, then exhale a trembling sigh. 

You don’t want to lie, but you don’t want to make it seem as scary as it feels. You twist your hands in your lap and ramble in a quiet confession. “I was walking to our picnic table to study, and he snuck up behind me, and I had my walkman on so I couldn’t hear him, and… I’m just— I’m just a baby, okay? It’s not a big deal.”

Eddie’s brows pinch as his face twists in something short of confusion. “Uh, yeah. It is,” he monotones, then scoffs out a laugh. “Honestly, I thought he knew better than to mess with you after what happened last time.”

He’s talking about that evening at the arcade — the last time you had the utter displeasure of running into the douchebag of Hawkins High. The whole “the only shooting Jason Carver does is into a kleenex” thing from when summer still felt like summer. 

Everything’s grayer now. And colder. 

You feel a lot of the same. 

You shoot Eddie a half-hearted glare at the memory he won’t let you live down. He meets it with a crooked, pink grin — your own personal sunshine when the real thing is hidden behind thick clouds. You melt for him all over again like you always do, feeling like a child as he plucks pieces of dead leaves from your hair.

“There,” he announces as he untangles a sizable yellow leaf from the strands. It floats down to his dirty sneakers. He cups your jaw in his abnormally warm hands and gives you one more once over. “I think that’s all of ‘em, babe.”

“Yeah?” you ask, just to be sure, as you smooth your palm over the back of your hair.

“Yep. You’re good as new. Beautiful like always.”

You roll your eyes with a poorly hidden smile. You’ve been together too long for him to flirt with you like he does. You wonder if he’ll ever stop, or if he’ll treat every day with you like it’s the very first.

“Always a charmer, huh?” you hum with a lovesick grin.

“For you,” the boy croons, leaning closer so he can press a kiss to your mouth. His rosy lips smack audibly against yours in a chaste peck that leaves you grieving the moment he’s gone.

The worn heel of Eddie’s sneakers scuff against the rocky concrete of the parking lot when he parts from you. He goes without a word. You watch him with a gaping look of bemusement.

“What— Where are you going?” you call to him, trying ignore the melodramatic twisting of your stomach. 

You’d already missed class — too shaken after seeing Jason and too needy for Eddie. You thought he might keep you company until next period. God knows he’ll take any excuse to ditch Mr. Kaminsky’s chem class.

Eddie turns back around to look at you but doesn’t stop inching towards the entrance. He shrugs his leather-clad shoulders with a cheeky grin. “Oh. You know. Just got regular business to attend to.”

You deflate. Regular business for Eddie Munson often means complete and utter chaos. 

“Don’t do anything stupid… Please.”

“Me?” Eddie scoffs, bringing a hand to his chest as though you’ve wounded him in some way. “Of course not!”

—————

Eddie roams the vacant halls of Hawkins High with his hands balled into fists. He’s got no intention of using them for evil — Yoda always said to use the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack. They more so shake with the withheld fury of not being able to avenge you. 

What kinda boyfriend would be if some douchebag was fucking with his girl and he just let it happen?

Then he finds Jason in the empty corridor of the west wing. He comes out of the bathroom in all his muscled glory, dressed in baggy sweatpants and a too-fitted tank top, and it feels sort of kismet. 

If fate didn’t want Eddie to do something, fate wouldn’t have put the douchebag directly in his way, right?

“Hey, Jason!” Eddie lilts in a tone so chipper it has to be sarcasm. “What are you doing down here?”

Jason meets the boy’s wide grin with a look of bitter confusion. “None of your business, freak,” he bites in response, walking past the wild-haired brunette as though he wasn’t there at all.

“I beg to differ, tough guy.” The nickname spills from his mouth, coated in venom. “Everything you do became my business when you started messing with my girl.”

Jason’s gruff laughter fills the vacant hallway. He turns back around, flashing a pearly-white smile. “Wallflower’s still with you, huh?” he singsongs, then shrugs sympathetically. “I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little surprised to hear that.”

“Yeah. She is, actually,” Eddie nods with a beam. “As a matter of fact, we just went on a double date with Steve and Chrissy. Harrington told me to say hi, by the way.”

The blonde boy goes suddenly grim at the mention of the girl who got away. His thin-lipped smile ebbs into a frown. His chiseled features sharpen when his jaw clenches. “Watch it, freak.”

Those words stopped being threatening the first time he said them. After the millionth or more, it just got redundant. 

Eddie huffs, impatient and annoyed. 

“Alright. Here’s how this is gonna go, okay? Seeing as you’re a little toodense to listen when my girl told you to leave us alone, I’m gonna spell it out for you,” he monotones, inching towards the boy with his hands on his hips. “Either keep messing with us, and I crack that pretty face of yours, or you can leave to be a douchebag with a nice jawline another day… How’s that sound?”

A beat passes. 

A laugh sputters from Jason’s mouth a second later. 

Apparently, he finds Eddie’s newfound confidence as strange as it feels. He might be a loudmouth sometimes, but he’s certainly no fighter. And even though he knows this just as well as the next person, the anger of not being taken seriously stings like a searing knife in his chest.

“Oh, and I have razor blades hidden in my hair, by the way,” Eddie monotones, using his freakazoid reputation to his advantage. He smiles when Jason goes somber. “Yep. Mm-hmm. All up in there—”

“You’re fucking crazy, man,” the blonde boy scoffs, choosing not to call his bluff and walking away entirely.

Eddie waits until Jason turns the corner to let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding. It trembles on the way out, forced through a tightening chest. He wipes his sweaty palms on his black ripped jeans — not a fighter, indeed.

“Razor blades?” a familiar voice calls from a little ways down the hall, accompanied by a soft giggle that sounds like heaven.

Eddie lifts his head and finds you walking towards him — turning the opposite corner that Jason had just left from. Your hands are tucked into the sleeves of the sweater that swallows you whole. You wrap your arms around yourself, making yourself as small as possible yet taking every ounce of his attention just the same.

With furrowed brows, his gaze darts between you and the empty corridor. “How did you…?” he asks, then trails off with a laugh. “I didn’t even know you were here.”

“I’m Wallflower, remember?” you grin, wearing the name people use to taunt you like armor. “I’m basically the queen of hiding in plain sight.”

“Yeah?” Eddie hums with a smirk. His smile widens when you inch closer to him.

You shrug. “It’s just a superpower. No big deal.”

His fingers curl around the outsides of your elbows when you’re standing toe-to-toe. His touch is warm and firm, but still gentle as he squeezes you. He rubs at your arms with his thumbs. 

“So…” he singsongs and tilts his head to the side, making his wild curls bunch at his shoulders. His chocolate eyes dance with sincerity and amusement. “What’d ya think?”

“I think you were very brave,” you answer honestly, but with an inflection that sounds like you’re teasing him.

Eddie’s gaze narrows. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“C’mon, Eds… You’re a nerd who plays D&D for twelve hours straight, and Jason lifts weights in his spare time.”

“You don’t think I could take him?”

“I know you couldn’t,” you retort, too sincerely for his liking. 

The sting in his chest ebbs when you uncurl your arms to splay your palms over his collarbones. Your smile sparkles, quite like the twinkle in your eye. 

“But you’d try. For me. And I, for one, think that’s very brave of you, Ser Munson.”

You’re right. About all of it. 

Eddie would fight for your honor like it was one of his Dungeons and Dragons campaigns. And he’d lose — quite miserably, probably — because what Jason Carver lacks in brains, he makes up twice in muscle. But you’d patch him up after, and it’d be worth it.

Instead of saying all that and stooping down to the sap you are, Eddie deflects with a joke. “Ooh,” he croons lowly. “Ser Munson, huh? I like the sound of that… We should save that one for later.”

You swat at him, but your softness lingers.

Eddie’s boyish laughter fills the vacant halls. His smile is too pretty not to kiss.

#published by bug #eddie munson x reader #stranger things x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson #stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fic #stranger things fanfiction #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fic #st drabbles #eddie spaghetti drabble #event: fictober!

[auteurdelabre]

Something to Fight For (Epilogue) Dad!Joel x f!Reader

Something to Fight For: Epilogue

Warnings: Tooth-rottingly sweet epilogue.

Words: 5.3

a/n: I dragged y’all through angsty hell and I PROMISED I would deliver a happy ending and imo it don’t get much happier than this! Now, if you're sad this is over I understand. Nice thing is, I got vignettes happening featuring the characters in this story. Some of 'em sweet, some spicy, some funny. I can't say goodbye to these characters or this world quite yet. So I'm not gonna. And if you want, you're always welcome to request a scene you'd like to see in the comments! I love hearing what you want to see! And I got heaps of other writing, but if you like this sweeter sort I recommend: “Bravo! Take a Bow” and “Losing our Minds Together”

I thank every single one of you out there that read this story and left a review because it really feels like we built a community here in the comment section. I'm gonna miss seein' y'all here. Hopefully you stick around while I keep writing, but if not I am so glad we could share this online moment together. Thank you for making this fanfic author a happy gal. I'm gettin' choked up here so I'll stop and we can get on to seeing our sweet idiots in love.

Oh and please review, reblog, etc cuz it makes me smile.

--------------------------------------------------------------

You walk into life on Rancher Street as naturally as if you've always been a fixture there. You think this is borne from a routine the three of you slipped into without thinking.

Mornings are coffee and cereal (Joel's banana pancakes on the weekends), then it's getting ready, brushing Sarah's hair, packing leftovers into cartoon lunch bags (for Sarah) and brown paper bags (for you and Joel). 

You're dropped off first; your work is on the way to the school. Its kisses for both of their sweet smiling faces and then you're thrust into the world of animal rescue. Joel drives Sarah to school next, holding her hand until they reach her classroom where he kisses her forehead and tells her to "learn lots" before handing her off to her new first grade teacher. 

He drives to Tommy at whatever site they're working at. The days are long, but punctuated with texts from you. Most are funny, some sweet. Occasionally Joel tries to write back but when he really wants to interact with you he just excuses himself and calls you. Hearing your voice always makes him smile in that dreamy, crooked way that has Tommy giving him shit the rest of the day.

At five promptly Joel returns to pick you up with Sarah buckled in her car seat smiling up at you. His heart jumps every time you come through the door, eyes bright and smiling as you jog over. He holds back the urge to kiss you senseless, restraining you both to a quick peck and then drives his girls home. 

Dinner is done by Joel unless you've offered (which you rarely do because cooking is a drag). Instead you help Sarah set the table and the meal is spent listening to Sarah talk about her day and the animals that you’ve helped to rescue. 

After dinner Sarah goes to play with her toys or watch a DVD while you tidy up. Joel sits with his coffee in his favorite green mug at the counter, eyes on you and chatting as you do the dishes. He always tries to help at first but you always remind him that he did the cooking and that you want to keep things fair. 

This is when you both talk about everything and anything. Work, movies you want to see, plans for the weekend, philosophical questions (you've both decided that you'd rather fight one horse sized duck versus a thousand duck sized horses, for example). Joel is hard to get information out of. He isn't used to talking about himself, but you urge him to do so. He thinks his job is boring but you're fascinated by controlling clients and his keen mind when problem solving an issue at a job site. 

Sometimes Sarah turns the volume of  the TV up really high during these times and Joel has to yell over the noise at her to turn it down, smiling and shaking his head. It's one of your favorite parts about being here. There's always noise in the background, either a television or laughter. Your home had been so quiet, so empty, you'd just never realized

The other favorite part is how Joel always finds ways to touch you. Subtle things like a hand trailing over your lower back as you wash the dishes, nestling his shoulder against yours as you watch television together, laughing and hip checking you gently as he passes you in the hallway. 

The only thing not perfect (at least for Joel) is the odd evening when you leave to go back to Maria's basement suite. He doesn't call the old suite your home because as far as he's concerned this is your home. 

His stomach always drops when he sees you've gathered your purse in your hands, ready to leave. Joel usually walks you to your car, but some nights he stops you both at the front door, bringing you into his arms and kissing you deeply. 

"I should go Joel," you tell him as he holds you, his mouth moving from your lips to your jaw, kissing that spot behind your ear that has you whimpering and your legs buckling. "Still have stuff there."

"Please stay," Joel murmurs against your mouth, hands wrapped around your waist as he presses into you against the wall. "Just a little longer."

Sometimes (often) this works. Your resolve breaks under his sweet mouth and hands and on these nights you wrap your legs around his waist and allow him to carry you back to the bedroom. 

These nights he spends hours making love to you until you're too exhausted to leave. These nights Joel likes best because you linger in his arms and in his bed until the morning, the scent of your perfume on his pillow and sheets until you return that evening. 

"Love having you here," Joel sleepily murmurs into your hair, kissing you awake one morning. "When are you just gonna move in?" 

Still half asleep in his bed you stretch, snuggling up against him and sighing into the crook of his neck. "Whenever you want, baby."

Joel wants you there all the time. He wants Sarah to know that you're there; he doesn't want to hide you. But you're tentative, nervous that this all feels too good too fast. You ask that Sarah not know that you're spending the night, not just yet. She knows that you’re daddy’s girlfriend, but that’s all you want her to know right now.

You pretend to arrive in the mornings, making a show of ringing the doorbell and smirking as Joel welcomes you in, his eyes amused. 

Despite the occasional seduction, Joel understands and he lets you go at your own pace. He agrees to what makes you feel comfortable. 

But he loves when you arrive with a new cardboard box of your stuff from Maria's. He sees the blush across your cheek as he excitedly takes it from you, asking where this one will go. Most of its clothes and those boxes are promptly brought to the bedroom and unpacked into the closet. Seeing your blouses hung next to his button ups makes him feel good.

Week by week more of your things are brought over until one day there's nothing left for you at Maria's except for your bed, dresser and sofa. You tell him as much over a late night snack of chocolate pudding after Sarah has been put to bed. 

"Pretty much everything I need is here."

Joel makes note of this, his heart hammering in his chest as he reaches into one of the drawers and pulls out the key he got cut.

“You’ll need this, then.”

He slides it across the counter with his forefinger, his eyes not leaving your face as he does.  He sees the surprise there, the widening of your eyes.

"You have a lot of keys to your house just lying around?" You joke, feeling your heart race.

"Nah, got this one cut the day after the wedding," Joel murmurs. "Thought you'd need it sooner or later." 

He loves seeing you blush, especially when you do that shy smile of yours.

When you look uncertain later that night in bed next to him, fingers twisting together anxiously Joel notices, lowering his book to glance at you. 

"What's wrong?"

"Are you really okay with me moving in here?" You ask with a furrowed brow. "It's not too soon?"

Joel's mouth over yours is all the answer you need. But he's so delighted by your potential move in that he'd already launched into an outline of what to do with your furniture. 

"We could sell your sofa and bed. I know a guy who needs a sofa. Only 'cuz my stuff is bigger and already here, but I don't want you feelin' like this isn't your house too so maybe we should-"

Kissing is the second best way to stop Joel Miller from rambling. The first is climbing on top of him and urging him inside of you, languidly bringing you both to orgasm.

You do both just to be safe. 

The things left at Paul's had been clothing and a few personal items. You considered leaving it, but decide in the end that you shouldn't have to. 

Your small pile of cardboard boxes are left outside his old apartment. He's sure not to be in said apartment when Joel goes with you to retrieve them.  

You'd ridden over in Joel's truck, the day punctuated by an unexpected silence with Joel's protective hand over your knee. He'd loaded the boxes alongside you, his face tight. With every box retrieved from Paul's place Joel grew more and more miserable. 

He hadn't responded to your gentle teasing as you both worked, had turned down your idea of going out for lunch, and had been all over a grumpy bastard. 

When you'd loaded everything and were driving home Joel's hand had flown back to your knee, grip just as tight as before.  When you finally questioned him about his bizarre behavior his dark eyes had been hard. 

"The boxes and Paul," Joel winces, eyes fixed on the road. "Just reminded me how close I was to losin' you."

You make him pull over right then and there so you can crawl into his lap and kiss him senseless. He wraps his arms around you, pulling you so tightly to him you feel breathless. 

"You'll never lose me, Joel," you whisper against his neck. "Never." 

When you make love that evening your fingers linger on his cheeks as you stare into his eyes and the words you whisper as he fills you are of the love you have for him, the longing for this life you held for so long within you. 

As you both begin to drift off, tangled together under the sheets you press a kiss to that patch in his beard that doesn't quite grow. 

"I'm not going anywhere, Joel. I'm done running."

///

You miss having an office space like your studio had. A little area for just you to organize your thoughts and work. But it's a small price to pay because you like existing on Rancher Street. You've enjoyed every day of the last three months.

It feels like home when you're there and not because of the structure but the two figures inside. Home isn't a place, you've come to realize, its people. Joel and Sarah.

Evening rituals are the same as when you babysat. Picking out books as Sarah slips into bed smelling of toothpaste and the hair cream Joel massages into the curls under her favorite purple bonnet. You smiling at her while she snuggles down under the covers, propping toad up next to her so he can see the pictures in the books.

"Okay we're ready."

The only difference is that Joel is there too, bending down to kiss his daughter's cheek and murmuring a low "G'night babygirl. Sweet dreams. Love you." 

She gives him a sweet 'I love you' back, kissing his lightly bearded cheek. If Joel takes too long to leave, getting distracted by the sight of you gathering books or just wanting to linger, Sarah is prone to shooting him a silent look that communicates: okay, I love you dad, now please leave.

He always does. Because reading before bed is your special time, just the two of you. Joel used to do it on the nights you weren't there, but now you are there every single night his services are no longer necessary. 

Joel's qualities are better served in the kitchen, you and Sarah decide as you watch her drawing on the sidewalk with the chalk you've just bought. 

"Daddy's a better cook than you."

She says it thoughtfully and without malice as she draws a lopsided flower. 

"Yes," you agree with a nod, making a star pattern nearby. "Much better. I think he puts love in his food. I just use salt."

But the ever empathetic Sarah is quick to point out your many virtues as well. The main one of course being your stellar reading ability and your stories in general. 

So every single night Joel stands there outside Sarah's room, arms folded and shoulder tilted against the hallway wall, his cheek facing the half closed door of his daughter. 

There he listens to the two of you giggling or you reading the book Sarah has picked from your pile (Sarah's right, you're very good at doing the voices), the gentle murmurs of 'I love you" thrown back between you two and those sounds wind around Joel's heart in a way he never knew just sounds could. 

He's so fucking happy. 

And when you finally creep out, quietly closing the door behind you and shooting him a pleased smile, Joel is always there to grip you by the hand and drag you to your shared bedroom down the hall. 

Rarely do the two of you make it to the bed with all your clothes on because Joel has many virtues outside of the kitchen as well. 

///

Joel watches you give a frustrated sigh, frowning at the laptop on the kitchen table before putting your face in your hands. 

"Everything okay?"

"Just this fu- darn sanctuary project," you self correct, remembering a listening Sarah sitting across from you. 

Sarah has a piece of paper she has drawn to look like a laptop and she pretends to clack away on it when you do on yours. Joel sits next to you, his knee brushing yours as you complain. 

"Alex's contact said she could get the supplies at cost and he was supposed to get back to me but he hasn't and now the landscaping guy is saying -" you pause, realizing Joel's eyes have taken on a dreamy, faraway look. “-And you're not even listening to me, are you Miller?"

He gives you a guilty look. "Nope."

You give a sharp laugh at his honesty, leaning over and shoving his shoulder with yours affectionately.

"Hey, I really wanna show you somethin'," Joel says with a hint of excitement in his dark brown eyes, a window into the boy he must have been. "C'mon. Both of you." 

You follow him down the steps to the basement, to Tommy's old place, your hand wrapped around Sarah's. You both follow him towards the large door separating the areas, watching his broad shouldered walk, the excitement in his rapid footsteps. 

At the door there he spins with a small anticipatory smile on his handsome face. 

"I thought this would be a good place to have for an office," Joel explains shyly pointing to the door behind him. 

You smile up at him, delighted that he thought of you needing one. He pushes open the door for you, his eyes on your face as he does. 

Balloons. 

Hundreds of colorful balloons take up almost the entire main room of the basement.  

Sarah doesn't wait for you, she runs in headfirst giggling and shrieking, her arms open wide. 

You walk into the basement in a daze, your eyes owlish as you take in this prism of color, feeling the balloons brush your skin, the awe-inspiring sensation of being surrounded in a rainbow. You laugh, it bursts from you.

You can see that the space beyond the balloons has been transformed into an office, complete with built in bookcases and a custom desk under the window. You trace a hand along the desk before being swept up in the color of the balloons and Sarah's contagious laughter.

Joel is standing there just outside the door, his eyes bright as he watches the two loves of his life laughing and tossing up the colorful balloons.  

Sarah kicks at them with vigor, her head thrown back in laughter at the squeaks they emit when knocked about.  

Joel looks to you, expecting the same behavior and pausing when he sees how you're now standing there looking at him with damp eyes. The balloons float between you, falling to block his eyes as you approach. 

"Joel."

"Mmm?"

"Get in here," you order gently, your finger curling around his collar as you gently tug him in encouragement. You can't move him of course, but he grins widely, nodding and stepping into the color with you. 

For a moment neither of you speaks. All you can see is Joel and the balloons that seem to surround you on all sides, the colors framing his beautiful face. You can hear Sarah's distant laughter.

Then Joel smiles in that sweet, open way of his. You look down when you feel his hand taking yours and see a diamond ring being slipped onto your fourth finger. You stare at it in amazement before your gaze meets his. In his deep brown eyes you see a future so beautiful you never could have imagined it. What you don’t know is that when Joel looks into your eyes he sees exactly the same.  

"Will you ma-"

"Yes," you breathe without letting him finish, your hands coming to either side of his jaw. He pulls you into his arms grinning before his mouth is on yours, gentle and sweet. You know that your eyes are wet and you know that on your deathbed this will be one of those moments that comes to you, comforting you. 

You pull back and look around at all the balloons, the color and you smile broadly through the tears. 

"Couldn't wait for your birthday," Joel murmurs against your cheek. "Hope that's okay."

"Yeah," you say curling your arms around his neck. "It's okay." 

You don't mind at all.

///

"Shit, did you feed the cat?"

"Daddy you said sh-"

"I know babygirl," Joel says rubbing the back of his neck as Sarah looks to him with a chastised look. "Was wrong of me. Daddy just doesn't want to find another hairball in his shoe. "

Jam, your orange tabby kitten is not really yours at all. Despite being brought home for you, Jam quickly decided that Sarah with her warm bed and shirts covered in food crumbs was a much better companion than you. You don't mind though, seeing how much Sarah loves the cat is enough for you. 

"I fed him," you say giggling as the three of you make your way up the drive. The whole gang has been invited to Frank and Bill's for a Sunday lunch. You see them quite often despite living on Rancher Street full time. 

They often encourage you to bring Sarah and you do without hesitation. She loves Bill and Frank just as much as you do. She loves painting with Uncle Frank and baking with Uncle Bill. She loves that their house smells like cinnamon in the winter and fresh flowers in the summer. 

Despite living right next door, Maria and Tommy arrive late with cornbread and lemonade, but are given a reprieve when Maria shares that she took so long getting ready because "morning sickness makes it hard to feel cute."

Joel had hugged Tommy so tightly you were sure you heard bones cracking. You had just cried, throwing your arms around Maria, careful not to squeeze. Sarah asked to feel the baby and Maria told her it was a bit too early to feel much, but she still let her niece gently stroke her swelling belly. 

"I think it's gonna be a boy," Maria told you sagely over lemonade at the table. "A mother knows."

You smile, thinking of a little mix of Maria and Tommy in the vision of a little baby boy. Your eyes sail over to Joel, watching as he chats with Jackson and Tommy. You wonder what it would be like if you had a kid. Who would it take after? 

You’re distracted by this idea when Sarah and Bill bring out the dessert, followed by Frank with the coffee. The cupcakes are decorated to resemble beautiful flowers and you all wait as Sarah picks the perfect one for each of you. A daisy for Sarah, a lily each for Auntie Maria and Uncle Tommy,  a purple rose for Daddy, a peony for Frank and a forget-me-not for Bill and finally Sarah smiles at the pink carnation she labored the longest over with Bill. Sarah immediately cites that this one belongs to you. 

"That one," Sarah says pointing, watching as Bill pushes the plated cupcake in your direction. "Do you like that one, Mama?"

Joel's hand that's been absently rubbing along your spine stills when he hears that. His attention goes to your face, seeing the way your eyes have gotten wide. Mama.

You feel your breath catch in your chest as she calls you this, her tiny face turned up and smiling at you. You don't want to embarrass her, don't want to draw attention to the fact that she's called you Mama.

She did it so casually, so naturally that a part of you is worried she didn't even realize she'd done it. If you draw attention to it you're scared there's a chance that she'll take it back. 

"I love it," you whisper, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "Thank you, bug." 

You kiss her again, feeling tears prick your eyes when Joel's hand skates to the small of your back, squeezing softly. Maria and Tommy are wet-eyed, and share a soft smile before turning their attention to their cupcakes. Frank sniffles, pretending he’s just about to sneeze. You catch Bill’s eyes across the table and when you see them glossy and that’s what makes the tears spill over your lash line.

"Why are you crying?" Sarah asks, her head cocked to the side. She can’t understand why everyone suddenly got so quiet.  

"I'm not," you insist. "Just allergies."

Sarah is satisfied or maybe just relieved with this answer and she and clamors onto the chair next to you, ready to dig into her own cupcake. She leans companionably against you, starting to tell Auntie Maria and Uncle Tommy about the class hamster.  

You feel Joel's kiss on your temple and you turn to see his eyes damp like yours. 

"Mama," you whisper to him. "I'm Mama."

////////

3 years later

Joel is at your side, whispering how strong you are, how beautiful, but all you want to do is punch him.

Hard.

"You did this to me!" You say through clenched teeth as a wave of painful cramping goes through you. Your head falls back onto the damp hospital pillow. 

"If I recall it was a very mutual decision," Joel insists with a wry smile. His mouth goes to your ear and his voice drops to a deliciously low timbre only you can hear. "The words 'fuck me pregnant' were a direct quote by you, were they not?"

You don't answer him on that. Not just because he's right, but because a stab of pain is going through your pelvis that takes your breath away. 

St. David's is a very fine hospital with very fine people but at this moment everything is not fucking fine. You feel like you've been split in half by a fucking axe. 

"Doing so good, baby," Joel croons, wiping the damp hair from your forehead and temples as he watches the doctor and nurses at your feet. "Keep going, keep going." 

For a delirious moment you think that it was Joel saying these exact words that got you pregnant in the first place and you let out a high pitched laugh as Joel looks to you in concern. 

"Push," the doctor says, breaking into your foggy brain. And so you do. As you have been doing for the last three fucking hours.

You grit your teeth, feeling Joel's mouth on your temple whispering words of encouragement and you push. You push with everything you have and then...

There is a pause and then the loud braying sound of a newborn's cry. The doctor's voice behind the mask rings out. 

"It's a girl!"

A sister for Sarah, just like she'd wanted.

A second daughter for you and Joel. 

You look over to see Joel's dark eyes shimmering with tears and you feel you've never been so in love with him as you are in this moment. You burst into tears, your face wet as Joel kisses you. 

"You're amazing," Joel whispers against your mouth. "Fucking amazing." 

The nurse brings over a pink faced infant with a shock of dark brown hair. She is pink all over and her little face is scrunched up as she wails. You take her into your arms, marveling at how you and Joel made the little creature you're now holding. She's so warm and she smells so good. 

You glance over at Joel, recalling all the nights spent with his hand curving over your belly, murmuring soft sweet things to your daughter as she grew there. You think of when you both sang together, your hand carding through his hair and his eyes on you. You remember how on the days she felt really jumpy, all it would take is Joel singing a few bars from a song and she would quiet right down.

Now Joel's finger goes to trace the slope of her tiny nose and you smile as she quiets down, grunting. Seems he has a soothing effect on her outside the womb as well.

"She's so fucking perfect."

"Hopefully she doesn't swear as much as her parents," Joel says as he presses his lips to your temple.

You giggle at that, pulling her back so you can see your daughter's sweet face. The wailing has subsided and she gives little grunts as she tries to open her eyes.  

"Hi Ellie," you coo. "We're your parents."

/////

Four years after your first meeting, Joel Miller sits across from you in the very booth you had your disastrous blind date on. It's become a sort of tongue in cheek tradition, to have you all back to where it began. 

Only this booth is far more crowded than it ever was then. A very pregnant Maria slides in next to you, looking every bit the beautiful goddess she always does. Tommy and their son slip into the opposite side beside Joel, saying their hellos. 

"They're so cute," Maria coos as she watches Sarah give Ellie a toy to play with before going back to her puzzle book.  

"Sarah loves being a big sister," you smile softly. 

"Tell that to Jackson would you?" Maria says rolling her eyes at her eldest child who is obsessed with his game boy. "He seems to think that this new baby means the beginning of the end." 

"He's been an only child for so long he doesn't want to share you," you insist. But you can't help but feel secretly lucky that your daughter's had an immediate connection. 

Even when pregnant, Sarah had talked to the baby in your belly, she'd even helped pick out her sisters name. At this moment Sarah is curled up next to you on her seat, pencil in hand and her eyes focused on her latest obsession. 

Toad has been replaced by puzzle books (though you still find him under her pillow most nights) and her new favorite color is green. She's wearing green head to toe tonight including the green barrettes in her hair. She's like a slender blade of grass with wild hair and big, hazel eyes.

And while much about Sarah has changed, she still smiles when you and her father kiss, she still wows you with knowledge beyond her years and she still plays with the ends of your hair when she's anxious or distracted. Oh and she still loves you to death. 

You sling an arm around her, your eyes on the menu before traveling up to watch Joel across from you. He's looking at Ellie in her booster seat next to him, babbling incoherently as most toddlers do. 

Ellie is a daddy's girl though and through, obsessed with Joel the minute she laid eyes on him. It's now to the point where if she starts crying most mornings you simply glance his way. He always gives a grumpy frown before you see the smile peeking through as he goes to retrieve her from her crib.

He's smiling broadly at her now, his finger tracing down her nose as she gurgles. Something he’s done since she was born. There's something about seeing Joel Miller, all broad shoulders and inherent masculinity, being so soft that makes you love him harder.

Sometimes when you're watching him play with your daughters or watching him cook you all dinner, you feel this overwhelming love for Joel that's almost incapacitating. 

He seems to sense your gaze because his eyes travel over to you. He gives you a playful wink. 

"You look great tonight," Joel says with eyes that linger on your décolletage.

"Thanks," you say taking an equally appreciative look at your husband. "You clean up pretty well yourself."

More than pretty well. Joel Miller is, as Frank had once told you, sex on legs, and you have to agree with the assessment. His linen shirt is rolled to the elbows, showing off his muscled forearms. His hair is brushed back from his face and he's wearing his glasses as he reads the menu. (Something he only does when desperate as you’d found out when living with him). 

Joel wets his lower lip without thinking, his eyes drifting back down the front of your dress. Maria and Tommy are helping Jackson decide on what to order for dinner, distracted from your end of the table.  

"You keep looking at me like that, Miller and we're gonna wind up with another kid," you murmur with a smirk, knowing Sarah's not paying attention.

"I'm not opposed to that," Joel says, his gaze heated. 

"That's because you don't have to carry or pop them out," you reply with a good-natured roll of your eyes. "Just get to do the fun part."

Joel grins as you tilt over the table to fix the bow in Ellie's hair that your mother sent you. Ellie gurgles happily at you, smacking her tiny fists on the table. Joel takes this as an opportunity to not very covertly ogle your chest. 

"Joel," you hiss, even though a smile is breaking out over your features. Joel tries to look innocently up at you, brows raised.

“Yeah baby?”

You want to be irritated, but he knows very well you love it.  

"I don't know this one, Mama," Sarah says pointing to something on the page in her puzzle book. She's normally very independent so you know she must be really stuck.  You glance over at the crossword clue.

"A six lettered spore producer," you read aloud and think for a moment. "Fungus?"

"That fits," Sarah enthuses, her pencil writing hurriedly. 

"Speaking of which, I'll have the mushroom ravioli," you say as your server comes to take your order. Joel orders his chicken penne and Sarah's spaghetti and then his hand comes to fall on yours as the server takes the rest of the orders for the table. 

His hand is heavy and warm, but that's nothing compared to the warmth of his eyes. It's the kind of look you associate with deep thinking, his "dreamy stare" as you've coined it. 

"What are you thinking about, Miller?'

"Just that I never thought I'd be married to the same woman who screamed at me in the parking lot of this very restaurant."

You giggle behind your wineglass, watching Joel's eyes go soft.  

"Or how happy I'd be."

He brings your hand up to his mouth, kissing gently. He holds you there, watching as you stare back at him with eyes so full of love you're shocked Cupid himself hasn't come to give you his job. 

You begin to smirk when Joel's dark eyes drop to your chest and then dart back to your face. 

"I was also thinking about how three is a very nice number. . ."

#joel miller x you #something to fight for fic #something to fight for #something to fight for series #joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #dad joel miller #pedro pascal #fanfiction #smut #fanfic #Dad!Joel #dad!joel miller #Joel Miller lives #Happy ending #Epilogue #joel miller the last of us #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller fic

[lila-lou]

✨ His only exception - Pt. 4/? ✨

Summary: 12 months ago, Butcher went above and beyond to have you join his team. You had a simple office job at Supe Affairs. The same thing every day, working from 9 to 5 and watching Butcher and his team defeat one renegade after another. One evening, however, something changed.

Pairing: Soldier Boy x Reader

Warnings: Language, sorta prostitution, kinda dirty, violence

Word Count: 1834

A/N: This is part 4 of “His only exeption”.

English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙✨

After another agonizing silence, you turned on the radio. But even Bob Seger couldn't lift the mood with his night moves. You groaned in despair and let your head fall against the window. Soldier Boy watched you out of the corner of his eye for a while before he patted your thigh and got over himself. “C´mon (y/n)! Don't be a grumpy little bitch", he tried his best to sound relaxed and cool but you just turned to him with your eyebrows raised. "Are you kidding? You broke my damn wrist!”. Your voice was filled with amazement and anger.

“Uh-uh! A bit more than sprained. Not quiet broken. There’s a difference”, he raised his index finger for emphasis, moving his gaze back and forth between you and the street.

“Ben!-”. “I fucking apologized, didn’t I?! It was… not intentional and certainly not planned… Who would have thought that you-". This time you interrupted him. “That I what? That I don't suddenly take off my panties for you? Ben! I thought we were friends?”. Your voice cracked slightly towards the end.

“I don’t have any friends,” was all he replied.

“Well, thanks for the clarification!”, you bit back. “How the fuck am I now the bad guy again?! I apologized! I'm trying to do the fucking right thing here and you're making it fucking hard for me not to kick you out the damn Car!". Ben was really trying to understand you, but he was new to this. It was new to him, not being adored and worshipped.

“Are you really listening to yourself, Ben? I'm probably the only person on this damn planet who cares about you. And you…why did you have to ruin that?”. This time even he could hear the disappointment in your voice. Still, he didn't know how to make amends for what he had done. “(y/n) I-”. Ben rubbed his beard and looked at you discouraged. “Why did you think I would… let you sleep with me?", you looked at him and felt the heat rising to your cheeks. "Shit, you can barely say it without blushing". Despite the depressed mood, Ben couldn't help but chuckle a little about that fact.

Another silence followed.

“You’re fucking hot (y/n), okay? And I'm horny. Since Russia it feels like I`m horny 24/7. And you doll can’t deny that it would be handy for you to let off some steam too”.

Ben’s eyes found yours. He wasn't lying, but you knew he was hiding something from you.

No matter how long your dry spell had lasted and no matter what Ben would say or do, you could never confess to him that you had been attracted to him from day one. Those words would never pass your lips. Towards no one. Ben was pretty “nice” to you, well at least by his standards. And even though you got along pretty well, it could never be anything more than friendship. Soldier Boy just wasn't a good person. He was incapable of showing emotion, let alone loving anyone but himself. So why should you get involved with him? And even though you had dreamed countless times about him giving you pleasure, fucking you stupid and giving you orgasms like no one else could, you had your principles. No sex without feelings.

“Flattering, but no”, you said, trying to be gentle.

"Why not? A shitload of women would fucking pay for that, do you realize that?”, he replied, stunned. “Okay, listen", you turned to him in the passenger seat and fixed him with your gaze. “Why do you want to sleep with me so badly? Why me? If there are so many women who would do anything to have you fuck ´em unconscious, why clinging to me? Tell me what makes me different? and… well, if I like the reason, maybe I'll think about it". You obviously upset Ben with your words. You could see all the wheels in his brain turning and even after a few minutes he didn't have an answer to your question.

"I thought so. We’re here”, you sighed, getting out of the car. “Give me 5 minutes head start”, you added before slamming the car door and walking with fast steps across the large parking lot. “Day drinking and prostitution, here I come,” you grumble to yourself.

What Butcher had told you, went absolutely against your morals, but you had felt beyond useless for the last few weeks, which was why you finally wanted to prove to yourself that you were useful for more than just tracking down Supes. Although you couldn't imagine anyone more disgusting to set an example than the Deep.

When you entered the bar, the first thing that hit you, was the smell of marijuana and cheap perfume. Even though it appeared to be an upscale local, the owners didn't seem to have much to offer their employees. You looked around and saw half naked girls dancing on poles, fat old men on the sofas in front of them with drool running down the corners of their mouths and in the middle of it all, the Deep. “You got this”, you motivated yourself before taking off your coat, placing it over a bar stool and smoothing down your too-tight and short dress. With a smooth movement of your hand, you threw back your laboriously curled hair and walked past your target's lounge with confident and elegant steps. “Three, two, one-”, you whispered as you felt a hand on your forearm.

“Hey beautiful, where are you going with those beautiful legs of yours?". Oh, how you wished you could have rolled your eyes. Instead, you spun on your heels to find the Deep leaning back into the sofa, letting go of your arm. “Don’t you want to join me?”, he grinned at you. Unfortunately, putting on a show and playing ´hard to get´ didn’t work for him because his brain cells weren’t up to it. “Oh shit, you’re the Deep, aren’t you?”, you feign surprise, holding a hand over your bright red lips. “That’s exactly what it looks like, baby. Come here, come to me”, he didn't pat the sofa, but rather his lap.

After a few minutes of small talk you could finally see Ben from a distance, but he first looked at all the dancing ladies. You tried several times to get his attention but to no avail. He was only a few steps into the bar and two girls were already grinding on him. And Ben being Ben, he wasted no time and starting with cupping their asses. One of the two pushed him onto a bar stool while the other started giving him a lap dance, wearing nothing but a lace thong.

“So baby, don’t you want to show me a little bit of yourself?”. Kevin’s right hand stroked your thigh under your dress while you lay in his left arm. He pushed you further into the sofa, his hand squeezing your ass and making you gasp. In order not to completely give up control, you pushed against his chest with all your strength and quickly slipped onto his lap. With your legs on either side of his thighs, your dress rode up. Anyone walking behind you would have been able to see your bare butt if Kevin hadn't immediately covered it up with both hands. "Hmm… You want to be in charge, don't you?". You could already feel his erection against your thigh, which only disgusted you more. “How about we dance first?”, you grinned at him, hoping to buy some time. “No, no, no, but you can sure dance for me, baby”, the Deep replied with a big ass smirk. You took Kevin's glass and drank it in one gulp before slipping off his lap and taking a few steps back. Your heart began to beat like crazy, but you gathered all your courage, ignored the lustful looks from the other guests and Kevin and started moving your hips slowly to the beat of the music.

That was also the moment when Ben finally noticed you. He sipped his whiskey, licked his lips, and watched you from his spot at the bar. He ignored the two women who were still dancing for him. His attention was solely on you. "Uhh, someone's getting really hard", the blonde moaned in his ear while her colleague stroked up and down Ben's upper arm. While your eyes were on Kevin, Ben was looking at his crotch. “Shit”, he growled, pushing both women away with a jerk.

Meanwhile, Kevin didn't hesitate anymore, grabbing you by the hips and pulling you onto his lap with a strong tug before grabbing your face and pressing his lips to yours, which was absolutely not the plan. You should only distract the Deep long enough for Ben to put something in his drink at the bar.

When Ben saw the Deep stick his tongue down your throat, anger overwhelmed him. Within seconds, he ripped you away, pushed you onto the sofa and grabbed the Deep by the collar of his supe suit. Kevin didn't know what was going on and could hardly say a word. “Ben! What are you doing?", you shouted at him as all the other customers stormed out of the bar one by one. “This son of a bitch is fucking disgusting. A worthless piece of shit. I should rip his head off here and now”, Ben hissed.

“Ben, stick to the damn plan”, you admonished him, slowly lifting yourself up. Ben's eyes darkened with anger.

“You better listen to your little friend”, Kevin gasped, trying to save his own dear life.

"You'd better keep your damn mouth shut, fuckface". Ben let go for a split second before sticking his large hand through Kevin's supe suit into his gills, lifting him up and shushing him.

“Ben! we can't kill him! Ben… Please.” While the Deep was panting in pain, Ben finally looked at you.

"You're going to let that fucker rub his cock on you, but make a fucking scene when I kiss you?!".

In the middle of his sentence, Ben's mood changed from angry to stunned to angry again.

Very angry.

Ben's suit-covered chest began to glow and his hand relaxed, which Deep used to escape. “Shit, shit, shit!”, you gasped. “Ben, stop!”, you tried to calm him down, but to no avail. Knowing that you had absolutely no chance of getting out of here alive if you stayed, you ran towards the exit as fast as you could. You ran for your life. Seconds later you heard a loud bang and everything around you went dark.

———————————

A/N: Please let me know what you think.🥰

-

Part 5

-

Taglist: @deangirl96, @thatgirljayy

#jensen ackles #soldier boy #soldier boy x female reader #soldier boy x reader #soldier boy x y/n #the boys #billy butcher #the deep #the boys fanart #the boys amazon #the boys tv #spn #ackles

[ashiemochi]

afterhours - lsk|m PT.2

✠ afterhours ↳ keep 'em up

➶ pairing: RE4R!Leon S Kennedy x F! Reader ➶ genre: subtle angst, fluff, smutty smut smut ➶ Overall word count: 5.3K you count ➶ Chapters/length: 2 parts ➶ Content includes: this is literal sex but, foreplay (f! receiving), overstimulation (both receiving), creampie, multiple orgasms, squirting, the whole package. Oh, and bondage. ➶ Collab with @the-resident-vampire ➶ Song rec: the weeknd - afterhours

pt.1 -> ∆

Sweet Jesus, what did you get yourself into?

Leon’s kisses were always intoxicating, holding onto those softest pair of lips and skilful tongue. It was safe to say your breath was stolen away from your lungs, but it was okay. You didn’t need air when you had his essence and aura swallowing you whole, especially when your back met your bed.

Leon pulled away from your lips, but not quite. His need to prove to you and himself that you were more than okay and alive urged him to drag his kisses down your neck. His hands, ever so graceful, took off your shirt – or tore it in this case – which made you gasp, eyes widening at your poor tanktop. 

“Leon! That was my favourite top!”

“Sorry,” Leon chuckled, leaning back so he was on his haunches to take off his shirt before settling his hands on your bare thighs, caressing them gently.

“No, you’re not.” You furrowed your brows, unable to conceal your shivering at his touches as you sat up to take off what was left of your top. 

Leon sucked in his breath at the sight of you, his sharp eyes not once leaving your body, “No, I’m not.”

You were left with your bra and your shorts, leaving you almost equal to Leon’s attire; just his grey sweatpants. In all honesty, he might as well be naked at this point. 

You grew shy under his observant eyes, squirming a little, “You’re staring again.”

Leon snapped his eyes up to your face, a smile coming to his lips as he leaned forward with his hands on either side of your torso, whispering, “How can I not when you always look this beautiful?”

He easily unclipped your bra, dragging the straps down with a kiss on your shoulder.

“You’ve seen me naked more than once, Leon.” You giggled faintly, helping him with taking off your bra and he tossed it aside like it was nothing.

His big hand grasped your bosom, your nipple peeking between his index and middle as his lips hovered over yours, “Doesn’t change a thing, princess.”

That made you blush even more, earning a lighthearted snicker from him before he pressed his lips against yours. The pressure he applied was more than enough of a hint that he wanted you to lie down – which you did. 

His free hand trailed down to your hip, thumb sinking into the shorts’ band as if teasing you whilst the other hand was busy kneading your chest, pushing soft moans out of you and against his lips.

Your sex life with Leon would always end up with your mind blown at the end. Your pleasure was his top priority no matter the circumstance. Each day or night (might be even twice a day) felt amazing in more than one way. 

His kisses were breathtaking, his tongue was merciless, his giant hands and lithe fingers would paint painless galaxies all over your skin, and his bigbig dick was supper for you. Every stretch of an inch and every thrust of his hips would leave you gasping for more. 

Lastly, when Leon would be soso close to his orgasm, his moans and grunts were flat-out sinful – just like his mutters and praises. You could swear that just hearing those airy fuck yes, and guttural shit, you feel so goddamn good would make you cum on the spot. 

And tonight didn’t seem any different – minus the handcuffs hidden within the nightstand. The thought of being immobile beneath him was evoking something new in you. You didn’t know when he was going to use it, which made you overall anxious with excitement running down to your core.

You muffled a moan with a sigh, head tipping back when Leon pulled away to nibble on your neck. Covering them up tomorrow for your family’s brunch was going to be daunting; that was a problem for tomorrow, though.

You ran your hand through his fluffy blonde hair, fingernails barely scratching his scalp. His hot breath wafted on the crook of your neck, his fingers digging into your skin for a split second –  a show of restraint. His eyes were fluttered shut, his long lashes tickling your skin as his lips found something else to latch onto. 

“Ah,” You breathed out, feeling his tongue poke and prod your nipple. 

His lips clasped around it, suckling onto it and shooting small bubbles through your nerves. Your back arched into his mouth with a whine, his hand squeezing your other bosom before he pinched and rolled your bud in between his thumb and index.

“F–fuck,” 

Leon’s dark chuckle didn’t go unnoticed, teething your hardened nipple gently and he released it with a noisy pop. He looked up at you, a tilted smug smile on his face, “That good, huh?”

“You’re such a goddamn,” You swallowed thickly, now aware of his other hand had slipped under your shorts and panties, “Tease.”

His smile only widened, shifting to angle his wrist right and your breath hitched in your throat at the long drag of his middle finger across your cunt. 

“Correction,” He tapped your clit once, feeling the way your arousal was starting to become more apparent than ever, “I like to take my time with you.”

Screw his patience.

Slowly, he toyed with your clit in lazy circles, making you whimper. Leon watched your chest rising and falling unrhythmically, one of your hands latching onto his arm and the other gripping the sheets beneath you. You were utterly under his mercy, handcuffs on or off.

Then his observant blues caught the darkish blues around your wrists. 

That guilt crawled up his back, setting his veins on fire and a heavy weight upon his shoulders. He never should’ve taken his eyes off of you. One moment, you both stumbled upon Luis and the last thing he heard was your yelp when the Big Cheese tossed you to the wall, knocking you out. 

He could’ve prevented it if he wasn’t focused on the tied-up guy. 

Waking up with the three of you tied up was hectic, to say the least. With both men being taller than you, your feet were barely touching the ground, leaving all the gravity and pressure to tug on your wrists way more than you’d like. 

Leon was quick to try and find a way to bring down the chains, keeping in mind to get rid of them once you weren’t hanging from the ceiling, literally. 

The rest of the mission went as you’d expect; not quite as smoothly, but it got the job done. Leon was able to pick up on the winces and muffled yelps from you whenever you’d fire your gun, the recoil shoving back at the ache within your wrists. 

He could’ve prevented your pain.

Through your half-lidded eyes, you noticed his shift in demeanour as the same one from when you two were in the kitchen that evening. His brows were furrowed more than usual, the corners of his lips tugging down into a frown – and then his finger stilled. 

“Leon?” You whispered, growing concerned and his eyes looked down at you, “Are you okay?”

Whatever in him clicked and he moved his arm away from your grasp, making you even more confused. His fingers clasped around your wrist tenderly, thumb running across the soreness of your skin. Flashes of that night several weeks ago were turning like a never-ending carousel around his head. 

Before you could ask him again, he managed to fit your other wrist in one big grip and then they were pinned above you into the plush of pillows. The hastiness of it forced a surprised noise from you, eyes widening at him towering over you to keep your arms up. 

“I’m fine,” Leon answered lowly, releasing your clit to grab your shorts and panties, pushing them down, “Kick ‘em off.”

You complied silently.

Leon in bed was always unpredictable. Whether he was going to go slow to feel every inch of your warmwarm pussy, or he was going to fuck your brains out and ruin your cervix. Either too rough or too sweet. 

Having both was the usual – it seemed like the lever had been shoved to the rough side and broke off. 

His hand returned to where you needed him the most and he clicked his tongue to get your attention away from his hand.

“Keep your eyes on me, got it?” Leon asked in a demanding tone, leaving little to no room for debate, “I want to see how you look when you cum like this.”

“Ah,” You gulped, nodding with your cheeks brightbright red, “O-okay…”

A smile twitched on his lips at how unbelievably shy you looked; God, he loved you so much. 

His assault on your puffy clit started steady, middle and ring finger pressing persistent circles at that spot. That pierced you with pleasure, back arching with a loud whine. You tried to maintain eye contact but it was difficult – and Leon wasn’t much help because every time you shut your eyes to let yourself go in the feeling, his fingers would stop. 

He knew you were having a hard time, but he didn’t seem to care.

“F–fuck!” Your yelp hitched up in your throat, eyes widening when his two fingers sunk in deep inside your pussy.

“Eyes on me,” Leon reminded in a low voice, the pads of his fingers pressed up against that delicious spot yet not moving.

You stammered, muffling your moans, “It’s h-hard–mh,”

A smirk reached up to his lips, towering over you, “I know.”

Ruthless.

He was utterly ruthless on your cunt. He could feel his hands getting soaked by your own arousal, tightening his grip on your wrists when you instinctively twitched at the precise ministrations. The filthy squelching noise emitted loud, causing your cheeks to redden but he found them incredibly sexy.

Your legs were starting to tremble, incoherent please, and too much falling from your lips in a drunken slur. Leon watched you almost like a predator, observing how your stomach was heaving with every harsh thrust of his fingers. The fleshy part of his palm was pressed up against your throbbing clit, stroking it directly.

The knot was tightening, followed by something else. A slowly breaking dam. Involuntarily, you shook your head, attempting to shut your legs with laboured breaths but he settled his hips in the middle. 

“Le–oh fuc – Leon!” You panted, eyes screwing shut at the audible moist noise growing louder and every nerve in your lower abdomen was coiling too quickly.

“Let yourself go, baby,” Leon encouraged, going harder on your poor cunt, “Cum for me.”

It hit you like a scorching shower, covering and washing over every inch of your body and leaving it shaking in its wake. Your whole body was out of your control, whining loudly when your orgasm hummed within your bones. Black spots replaced your vision only momentarily and you could’ve sworn you almost went blind for a second.

His relentless finger fucking didn’t stop, instead, they got faster. Your gushing cum splattered onto your inner thighs and sheets, some even dropping on his grey sweatpants. It lasted forever with the way he kept fucking your soaking pussy. 

Overstimulation was sudden.

Your knees clicked together like a magnet, effectively stopping his assault. You were left breathing heavily, nearly choking on your spit as the orgasm was buzzing within your body. 

“Look at the mess you’ve made,” Leon mocked, tenderly wiping your cum over your visibly twitching clit with his middle finger poking your fluttering cunt just to watch you shiver and your walls quiver.

Your head felt heavy when you lifted it, lazily looking down when your weak legs fell back onto the bed. Under the warm and dim lights, the surface of your skin was practically glistening due to your cum. 

“Leon,” You whimpered, your hips squirming away from him to actually give your clit some rest and he could only chuckle, caressing your thigh. 

“Let’s see if we can do this again, what do you think?”

He’s out of his goddamn mind – what the fuck!?

You furrowed your brows at him reaching over to the nightstand, and he opened the drawer. Rummaging through it for a bit, he pulled out a pair of handcuffs and he stilled for a moment. He seemed a bit hesitant, but then shook his head and took out another item.

A leash.

“We’re using that too?” You asked, already breathless and you didn’t want to play with air right now. 

Leon sat back on his haunches to unlock the cuffs, releasing your wrists in the process as he answered, “Not in the way you’re thinking of, no.”

You propped yourself up on your elbows, tilting your head to the side in curiosity. He finally looked at you, gesturing with his chin for your hands.

“Give me your hands,” Leon said with a subtle hint of authority in his tone and all it did was urge you to comply as if he bewitched you – which, let’s be honest, he most likely did.

The metal felt cold on your skin, offering a small sense of relaxation on the death grip he had over your bruises. Leon clamped them shut around your wrists, eyes darting up to your face to catch any discomfort but you were nothing but content – albeit flushed red at trying this in bed.

“What’s the leash for, then?” You questioned once the handcuffs were on and you gave them an experimental tug. 

“Call it attention to detail.” He smiled, one corner of his mouth rising higher than the other, “Lay back.”

You got comfortable and he picked up the leash. He pushed your wrists back to the bars of the headboard and then proceeded to clip the leash onto the small chain in between the cuffs. He looped it over the bar and tugged. 

Suddenly, you were back in that forsaken village.

Leon instantly picked up on the subtle expression change on your face and he looked at you, eyes dark with lust. Yet, at the same time, he was concerned if he had gone too far. 

Instead, you gazed up at him helplessly; submissively. 

“Is this okay?” Leon asked, loosening the leash and giving you a chance to change your mind.

“Yeah,” You nodded, squirming a little and clenching your hands for a moment, then you smiled slightly to reassure him.

Leon returned the smile, releasing the leash to get off the bed and slip the last of his garment off. His cock stood tall and visibly heavy, pre-cum coating the angry red tip. He got back onto the bed, muffling his groans as he gently jerked his dick off, trying to ease some of the tension but he was throbbing with need.

You widened your legs comfortably to give him some space to work with as he reached for the leash and he used the other hand to drag the blunt tip of his cock all over your cunt. A sigh emitted from him, chuckling under his breath at the way your walls fluttered around nothing. 

“Always so needy for me,” He hummed, trailing his eyes up to you.

Your body felt uncomfortably hot as you shot him a glare, “Says the one who looks like he’s going to bur–shit!”

In one swift movement, Leon shoved himself into your sopping heat. With a tug of the leash, your arms were restrained above you. A choked gasp left your lips which blended sinfully with his loud moan. 

You could feel his bigbig cock near your cervix. It was twitching inside of you, surrounded by the gummy moist walls of your pussy. The pain was fiery for a couple of seconds, but it slowly shifted to piercing pleasure. 

“F–fuck...” Leon hissed, inching himself deeper and deeper into you, “So goddamn tight, you’re already trying to milk me dry, huh?”

His nose scrunched up, thrusting slowly and rubbing you so precisely and it forced moans out of you, each one louder than the other. A groan left his lips as he lowered his head slightly, gazing intently at the way your body reacted to him.

The pleasure was getting too much for you and it was heavenly. His brows furrowed at the feeling of your pussy hugging him as if refusing to let go of such a masterpiece, licking his lips with faint grunts leaving through his red lips. 

He was focused on making you feel good, tightening his grip around the leash to keep your arms up. A certain thrust made your back arch with a hitch of a breath, clenching around him instinctively. Leon almost faltered, hissing, and his free hand gripped the back of your thigh to push into you to the hilt; pelvis pressed to one another.

“God!~” You yelped, eyes snapping wide open. 

You two had barely started and you were already out of breath. God, how he made you all wired up. His big hand trailed down to your hip, digging his fingers into your supple flesh as he started to rock into you steadily. 

Audible moans came from him once his thrusts sped up. 

Skin slapping skin echoed in the room along with the squelching gushy sounds. It was utterly filthy the way your previous orgasm made your cunt so noisy, and he loved every decibel of it. His mouth watered at the sight of his cock sliding in dry and coming out coated in your cum and arousal. 

“So fucking good–ah!” You mewled loudly, grabbing into thin air as an uncomfortable tension started growing within your shoulders. 

Your body bounced with each thrust and if it were to be recorded, that would be Leon’s favourite movie. It was damn near pornographic with the way you and your moist pussy sounded. Your hips bucked up to meet his thrusts and he moved his hand to press it against your lower abdomen to keep you still.

He could feel his cock move inside of you. Blood rushed to his already painfully hard cock; the more he fucked you, the more he felt his huge cock move in perfect rhythm within you. 

“Fuuuck,” Leon drawled out lowly, head tipping back with his eyes shut to let himself go in the feeling. His thumb pushed hard against your clit, rubbing insistent small circles in that delicate pearl – directly. 

You practically shrieked when his hips went rougher on you, fucking into you so mercilessly. Leon bore his sharp eyes at you, keeping up the assault on your clit and yanking you closer and closer to your orgasm. The pleasure was thrumming within you like drums, growing louder and heavier that you felt like you could just scream.

Your chest heaved with your laboured moans, nearly sobbing, “Too much! Le–ah!”

Leon growled, not once relenting his thrusts and he sent you into your second orgasm of the night. You cried out, back arching off of the bed at the explosive sensation. Tremors ran down your legs and up your arms that had long gone numb. 

“Yeah, that’s it,” Leon muffled his moan at the dull squirting noise of his cum filling you up, eye twitching at you coming undone and he slowed down his thrusts but never stopped, cursing breathlessly under his breath at your pussy pulling every drop of his cum.

Your cum had gushed out and the lubrication of it all allowed Leon to reach you so deeply. He released your clit only to set grip your waist, fucking into you in precise thrusts to drag out both of your climaxes. You whimpered, head falling back onto the pillows with a soft moan as exhaustion was settling in. 

Then he fucked you; absolutely ravishing your poorpoor cunt with his hot cock. You shrieked and gasped, overstimulated to the peak at the way he pulsated into you. His hold on your body kept you pinned to the bed, shifting closer to your hips to force your legs wide with no room to close on him. 

The safe word was thrown out of the window. You knew he was releasing some steam, coping with the way he could’ve saved you back in the village. The bruises that tainted your skin; could’ve been prevented.

But when it came to him giving you bruises, all consensually of course, then he felt it gave him some sort of control over something. 

“Leon! Ah, ‘s too – fuck – much!~”

His dick lined up perfectly against that spongy spot in you and an animalistic snarl came from him, completely lost in the way you felt. His self-discipline pushed past the pain of his overstimulation, audibly moaning into the air as he fought the urge to stop. His hips would sometimes stutter instinctively, but he didn’t relent.

He wanted nothing but to see you cum again, and again, and again, and he wanted you to cum around him. His cock craved filling you up to the brim with its creamy climax just so he’d continue fucking into you enough to have a sheer ring around his dick of both of your cum combined. 

Leon was out of it.

His thrusts were erratic, growing disoriented and sloppy, yet he kept that delicious pounding of your spot. Your fingers curled, digging your nails into the palm of your hand. All you wanted was to touch him and paint angry red lines down his back, but all you could do was carve crimson crescent moons into your skin.

Sending you into a whining and drooling mess, your third climax was shockingly looming over the horizon. Your eyes squeezed shut at the threatening pleasure. Leon twisted the leash so it wrapped over his wrist, consequently immobilizing you completely, and he towered over you to grip the pillow next to your head as if locking your arms in place. 

His curtained bangs dangled wetly and about, the sweat making his toned body glisten under the warm lights of the bedroom. The squelching noise of his cock throttling into you would’ve made any celestial entity blush. It was nasty.

And you loved every bit.

You winced at how hard he gripped your hips but it didn’t matter when your climax hit you – and it hit you hard. You were speechless, lips parted for a silent whine and you could’ve sworn you went to heaven for a split second. 

Leon’s loud and deep moans were music to your ears, going higher and lowering in pitch when his hips rutted into you for the last few thrusts. His thighs twitched and tensed up when your cum drenched him, walls clamping around him tightly. His beautiful blueblue eyes rolled to the back of his head, toes curling over the bed sheets.

“God, fuck!” His voice ended in a hitch, arms giving in to collapse over you so his face was pressed into the crook of your neck. He wrapped an arm under your arched back to shove his cock as deep as inhumanely possible to cum deepdeep inside.

His body was shaking over you, his hips gradually slowing down as he rode both of you out of your cloud nine. His cock slid out of you, still dripping with cum and just like he craved; a sheer translucent surface of both of your orgasms was coating his cock, an erotic creamy ring at the base.

The lustful tension in the room slowly disappeared into nothing, leaving behind a sense of longingness and love. Leon breathed heavily, peppering hot and lazy kisses on your skin as he trailed them up to the corner of your mouth before planting his lips on yours. 

It was a slow but utterly passionate kiss and that was when your arms went loose, dropping over his neck like a rag doll. He pulled away slightly, nose still bumping yours and his hand reached over for the side of your numb arm. 

“You okay?” Leon murmured, caressing your skin and massaging your flesh, “Too much?”

You trembled, lips subtly quivering as you swallowed thickly, shaking your head with a cute smile, “Just… Just perfect.”

A tilted smile reach his lips at the dumbfucked look on your face and he pressed a chase kiss on your arm, eyes fluttering shut. 

“A–and you?” You whispered, fingers twitching once blood was rushing back to where it belonged, “You feeling better?”

Leon stilled, staying quiet at your question. He reached over and removed your arms from over his neck. Tapping the handcuffs lower so your wrists would be exposed, he could see his bruises painting your skin. They were redred, some even dotted with faint bleeding, possibly from all the attempts you had made to try and touch him.

Swiping his thumb over the inside of your wrist, he couldn’t help but feel a boulder toppling over his shoulders. These were his. 

He planted a kiss on either wrist, humming under his breath in a pleased tone, “Like a million bucks.”

Leon looked back up at you, pushing away your sweaty strands from your face with a sweet smile, “How do you feel about a hot shower?”

“Make it a hot bath and I’m sold.” You giggled, cradling his cheeks once your hands weren’t as numb as before.

Leon couldn’t help but laugh faintly lightheartedly, nodding as he gaze down at you. He really needed to put a ring on that finger soon. That fancy box he had hidden under his clothes wasn’t going to stay there forever.

Without you, his sweetheart, he’d have nothing to fight for. 

“Deal.”

But in the after-hours of your demanding job, Leon swore he’d make it up to you all or any lost time.

#leon kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy #leon s kennedy x reader #resident evil #resident evil infinite darkness #leon kennedy #dbd fanfic #resident evil fandom #resident evil fanfiction #leon kennedy imagines #resident evil memes #dbd memes #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy fanfic #leon kennedy x reader smut #leon scott kennedy #leon scott kennedy smut #Spotify

[iisasarcasticlittleshite]

An Innocent Mistake (Part 1)

"Tell me again how... this happened?"

Lucifer pinches the knot at the bridge of his nose, exasperated, exhausted, and feeling the headache already forming in the five seconds since he walked through the doors of Purgatory Hall.

Solomon smiles in that sheepishly suspicious way of his, neither innocent, nor guilty. It's infuriating, especially when the sorcerer sits directly beside the proof of his crimes. "It was an accident, a miss-translation in the texts we were working from."

Lucifer glares down his nose at the tiny, cat-sized dragon curled up on the cushion beside Solomon, blinking up at him innocently in the way only MC can get away with.

"Miss-translation my-" Lucifer found himself stopping mid-word, averting his eyes from the now draconian human, as if his mind wasn't already conjuring images of them begging him not to get upset. "Fix this, now."

"About that..." Solomon trailed off, about to launch into an explanation of how and why he couldn't just change MC back into a human, but Lucifer held up a hand, his scowl only deepening.

"Don't, I don't want to hear it. I'm taking MC home, find a way to fix this, or there will be consequences, understood?"

Even under the full weight of Lucifer's glare, Solomon's smile didn't falter. "I'd expect nothing less."

The eldest huffed, gently holding his hand out to MC, unsure of how well they've adapted to their new form. He can't say he's ever seen a human shape-shifted into a dragon before, let alone one the size of an average house cat.

"Come, we have some explaining to do at the House of Lamentation."

MC perked up, gingerly climbing up his arm, with sharp, needle like claws. Lucifer didn't so much as feel a thing through all of his layers, but he had to fight off a smile when they settled themselves around the back of his neck, their tiny snout barely brushing the shell of his ear.

The eldest didn't spare Solomon another word before storming out of Purgatory Hall, firmly ignoring the sorcerer's smug grin.

"I warned you about him." Lucifer muttered as soon as they were clear of prying ears. "How am I supposed to explain this to the others?"

MC let out a chirp as if in apology, tail gently coiling around his tie as they rubbed their cheek against his.

"No amount of pouting will convince me to hide you from them. They are intolerable every time you leave without warning."

A louder chirp this time, almost like a puppy's yip, and Lucifer can't keep the scowl on his face.

"Asmodeus is going to have a field day."

"OH EM GEEE!" Asmodeus' squeal was loud enough to deafen a grown demon, Lucifer had barely had time to spit out the explanation as to why he had a tiny dragon on his shoulders before the Avatar of Lust was immediately pouncing on him, sticking his face as close as he could get to MC, practically hanging off Lucifer. "You were cute before MC, but this is just unfair! Look at you!"

The resulting shove that came from Lucifer had little MC spreading their wings, flying clumsily onto the back of Beel's armchair, answering Lucifer's unasked question of how they adapted to a new body.

Beel looked at them curiously, and MC hissed, as if to remind him not to eat the dragon.

"You really are adorable." Said the Avatar of Gluttony. "Kinda skinny though, you must be hungry."

"There's no way that's MC!" Mammon wailed. "Ye're pullin' our legs!"

"I assure you, I am not, and why would I?" Lucifer huffed, his headache only getting worse as MC's tail flicked back and forth behind them, eyes flickering between the brothers periodically.

"I dunno, but I don't buy it!" Mammon continued. "If that's MC, I'll eat my left-mmm!"

A squawk from the dragon, and Mammon's hand clapped over his own mouth as if it had a mind of its own, silencing the greedy demon's tirade.

Belphie chuckled sleepily. "Yup, that's MC alright."

"Fascinating." Satan mused, gazing curiously at the poised little dragon, who chirped back at him as if showing off their new form with pride. "I wonder what the actual translation was, if a mistake led to this."

"I scarcely want to know."

"How long are they gonna be stuck like this?" Belphie asked.

MC has now made their way to where Leviathan is curled up on the sofa, his face burning red as they gently rubbed their head against his silken hair.

"I think Levi might blow a fuse..." Asmo giggled. "They're cute, huh Levi?"

"Guh, so kawaii..." Mumbled Levi, too quiet for anyone to hear, except MC, who slipped into his lap and curled up like a cat.

Levi.exe stopped working.

"Solomon is looking for a solution. In the meantime, they can't stay in their own room, they could hurt themselves." Lucifer said, moving on from Envy's flustered crisis.

The room erupted with demands for MC to stay with them, and while they bickered, the dragon merely huffed, resting their head on Levi's knee, waiting for someone to be the voice of reason.

Finally, it was decided that MC would pick a name at random out of a hat, and that would be who they stayed with that night, and so on until a solution was found, and Solomon changed them back.

Part 2 Here

#obey me #obey me x mc #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me mammon x reader #obey me asmodeus #obey me leviathan #obey me beelzebub x mc #obey me belphegor

[melinoelliones]

You were on your first official “dream first date”, cuddled up watching cheesy romance movies. However Micah Yujin, the cocky little hacker you met 5 days ago, wasn’t being so cocky anymore.....

MINORS DNI/ AGELESS BLOGS DNI/ ANTI DC DNI/ 18+

Warnings: neck kisses, oral, dry humping, hickies, teasing, early ejaculation, grinding, cursing, slight face fucking, slight choking, whimpering

1.9K words

SECOND PIECE OF WRITING LESS GOOOOOOOO!! Again I am still new at this so please don't jump me LOL. I know there are many mistakes, weird wordings/story so on and so forth but oh well. I played Error143 a while ago with my friend group, and since then this man has been on my mind 24/7. Seeing him get flustered in game reminded me of this idea I had stored away for a fic which I felt would actually suit him nicely so here we are. Hope all the Micah lovers enjoy. On a serious note I have never written for a gender neutral reader so please let me know if I should change anything! Also I’ve used the nickname Angel as one of the names since that is what he uses in game!

The image of Micah was drawn by @kamuyagi​ on tumblr and twitter so check em out! I was given the green light to use their art so thank you again, it was lovely speaking to you :)

"You... actually like this stuff?", you could almost hear the smirk creeping up on Micahs face while pointing at the screen. "Some of us like to bake, others like to lie in bed and watch romance movies, problem?", you questioned while glancing over at him with a stern look, "no no, I have no issues here, was just curious is all Angel". He chuckled away while watching you turn back to face the TV, his chest now pressed against bare back as he was pulling you closer into him.

THE Micah Yujin was in your bed, cuddling up behind you, watching one of your favourite movies, it was almost unreal to you. Who would've known this would be the outcome of deciding to hack someone 5 days prior due to jealousy.

You could feel every ridge from his toned stomach as you both followed along with the movie, you both were down to just your underwear as he had suggested you guys "stay comfortable" since you were spending the day binge watching cheesy romance movies.

You couldn't help but think there was an ulterior motive but he was adamant that there was "no funny business in his agenda today", even though you had to pretend to ignore the figure which began to press against your lower back every so lightly.

"Uh uh uh, what is THIS my love"? Before you could even respond Micah had covered your eyes with his hands so you could no longer see the screen, "this is FAR too PG for you don't ya think Angel?", his sniggering getting louder as you attempted to swat him away. "THIS is too PG? Micah they're only kissing, I don't even think they go all the way in this one", you couldn't help but laugh a little, he was so immature.

You rolled over to face him, inching closer to his newly flustered face, "How about I show you PG hmm?", your seductive tone causing his eyes to widen, your own flittered between his and his lips. The sexual tension in the air rising as you let your lips linger by his teasing him while moving to lay on his chest.

"You're such a tea~", you cut him off by crashing your lips into his, gliding them over one another. His hand slid up to your neck, gently applying pressure while lightly tugging you even closer, the kiss getting heated ever so quickly. Micah caught your bottom lip between his, gently easing his tongue into your mouth as you followed, you let him take charge just this once.

The sexual tension quickly turned into frustration, as he deepened the kiss you knew he wanted more, the soft moans leaving his lips told you more than enough but you wouldn't give it up that easily. You could also feel how needy he was yet he didn't dare to try anything further.

You slowly pulled away, a string of saliva linking you together as you sat up, he watched as your eyes moved from his lower stomach to his eyes. "It's pretty convenient that at your request we are both only in our underwear. It's almost like.... This is what you wanted to happen hmm? Don't get all shy on me now". The grin forming on your face causing the usually cocky man under you to squirm trying to cover his heated cheeks.

"Nothing to say for yourself hmm?" you frowned smugly while watching Micah struggle to get any words out, "a~actually I~". You felt him choke back on his words as you leant forward letting you fingers coiled around his already hard nipples. "Sensitive here are we Micah?", your words ringing through while snaking your fingers around them.

You could feel Micah swallowing down his moans on your lips as you placed small kisses down the side of his neck, sucking lightly on each left kiss while nibbling down. Whilst trailing them down to his chest you blew gently against the newly placed hickies, you felt his body quiver due to how tender the marks were.

Micah's eyes widened as he heard your breath hitch while jolting up. "Ah, and you told me to shield my eyes from a kiss in a movie?", the confused look on his face dropping as he followed your eyes to his newly grown piece that was now pressing up on your lower half, you took your bottom lip in your teeth as you cheekily began to grind down against it.

Was Micah really that turnt on by a few neck kisses? This was the same egotistical man that would boast about how you would definitely fold first when it comes to being in the same room.

You couldn't help but giggle to yourself quietly while watching him squirm under you trying to take any extra friction he could from your lower half to his, desperation looked good on him.

You crawled off him, you could almost hear him internally sighing thinking you were done teasing him but he couldn't be further from correct. You placed yourself between his legs, hands running down his torso to the band of his boxers, your eyes half lidded with desire as you rolled your tongue against your top teeth, a coy grin plastered on your face.

Sliding the fabric down under his hips you took his length in your hand, the sheer size of it took you by surprise, no wonder the rare times when he was modest were only when you would joke about it being small without having seen it, "So this is what you've been hiding, I think I can handle it" you bit your lip while perking up.

"What do you mean by tha~ oh fuck", Micah hissed through his teeth as you timidly rubbed his ever growing member. With each stroke you could hear his needy moans get louder, his eyes showing a pure yearning for more."Look at you, is this the smug and overconfident hacker I met 5 days ago? 2 minutes in and you're already this turnt on", you teased as he averted his eyes from you.

"Look at me pretty boy", your stern tone followed by you meticulously moulding your fingers around his member massaging it in your hand, you could hear Micah curse through his moans. He turnt to look at you, eyebrows tilted upwards in bliss.

You weren't sure how much more he could take as you didn't know his cues yet, however you did know you weren't going to let it end here, having a cheeky man in submission was too perfect to give up this fast.

You slowly stopped your hand movements, "w~why'd you stop?" Micah whined trying to conduct himself, he wasn't used to being this vulnerable but with you he didn't mind but he wasn't expecting all this.

"Okay Micah, would you rather I finish you off with my hand, or mouth? Hackers choice.", your cheeky tone confusing him as to if that was a real question. Before he had a chance to formulate a response you placed your fingertips on the cusp on his cock, as you pressed them onto it you stuck out your tongue to let a drop of saliva hit his tip, your grip tightening as his body squirmed.

While kneading the tip in your fingertips you asked again, "You gotta pick one Micah, if not I guess we can leave it here and go back to the mov~", "mouth". "What was that? I couldn't hear you?", you pouted jokingly as if to mock him. You had full control and you were going to get the most out of it.

"P~Please, please finish me off with your mouth Angel", Micahs head rolling back in pure sexual frustration, "good boy Micah, i'm all yours". Without another word you skimmed your tongue across his shaft before taking it in your mouth, your warm breath adding to the burning in his stomach.

You bobbed your head up and down taking him all in, your saliva mixing with his precum engulfing his cock in a wet heat. "Fuuuck baby, don't stop", his hand slid to your cheek, caressing it before bringing it to the back of your head, you felt a slight pressure.

Was he really trying to fuck your face? You weren't expecting him to get a burst of confidence, or was his body just moving on its own? Either way it was turning you on little by little. You placed your free hand on his balls, palming them as he began to grind his hips forwards, the crown of his cock hitting the back of your throat each stroke.

Micah's moans became sloppy and incoherent as your tongue slid across the slit in his piece before taking it all back in, humming to allow it to slip back down your throat, the vibrations adding to the overwhelming closeness he was feeling.

You could feel him twitching slightly in your mouth, "oh my g~god i'm so close baby", his whining getting louder as you gave his balls in your palm some more attention. "Just keep going baby" he mewled out in desperation.

Before you could have another thought you felt him shudder, as if on cue he let go, you could feel it cascade down your throat coating it completely, his breath hitching as you continued to deepthroat him, swallowing whatever remained in your mouth. "W~What are you d~oing I can't take much mo~", you could hear him whimpering as the overstim started to consume him, the delirium swirling inside him as the suction intensified.

"F~Fuuuck Angel", he was drowning in pain and pleasure, you started to slow down using your tongue to take in the elixir of cum and saliva encasing his cock cleaning him up. You could almost feel his member throbbing as you pulled back. You gazed at him alluringly as he covered his deep red cheeks with his forearm, "welllll, did I do good Mr Micah?".

Another cheeky smirk emerging on your lips as you slid your hand on last time up his length to take off anything remaining, licking it clean while remaining eye contact with him, he breathlessly mumbled "you~you did more than good I can tell ya that much" whilst you placed him back in his boxers carefully.

Micah grabbed your jaw with his hand pulling you into a quick heated kiss as you went to lay by his side, the taste of him and your saliva slightly re-turning him on. "You outdone anything I expected you to do, that's for sure, i'm still kinda in a haze", he chuckled letting you go, you winked at him before sliding back to face the television, back against his chest once again.

You could feel his heartbeat calming down behind you, you had definitely shocked him with your actions. Who knew you could make a cocky man whimper n writhe with just your mouth? God knows what he would be like if you guys actually fucked, you were definitely intrigued though.

You felt his arm wrap around your waist before moving up to your chin, turning your head so your ear was beside his lips, his breath sending shivers down your spine, "Once i've managed to collect myself, how about I repay you for your little display hmm? How does that sound?". His husky tone taking you aback.

He placed a kiss on the nape of your neck before sliding his arm back to your waist, your mind running through all possible scenarios that could pan out due to his cryptic words. All you knew was that the date was just beginning.

#meli noel's work #micah yujin #micah yujin smut #micah yujin x reader #micah yujin x reader smut #error143 #error 134 #error143 smut #error 143 smut #meli noel

[amyispxnk]

My Sunshine

Summary - Things are getting bad again and you know Joel would be there to help you in the blink of an eye, but you can't help but feel guilty for even feeling this way - so burdening him with your emotions is out of the question. You try to hide how you feel from him, but you know you can't. He knows you too well.

A/N: SO. i am positively struggling at the moment. with life and just everything. and my lonely ass is in need of some comfort, especially when i feel like.. yk, shit. and feeling like doing shit to myself which is not very good 😊. but i could not find a single comforting fic about self harm, and i get that it’s a very sensitive subject - but my god i need this comfort so please let me indulge for a moment.

And going back to how self harm is a very sensitive subject - please heed the warnings and tread carefully. this entire thing is about self harm and comfort when struggling with it, so please be cautious.

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader (could possibly be read as gn but I've used things like sweet girl and his girl so)

Word count: 2.1k

Warnings: self harm (not explicitly described or anything, but reader struggles with it), fluff, comfort, established relationship, angst, one mention of drugs (i used it as a.. simile, or whatever, nobody’s taking or has taken any drugs!), crying, kisses, pet names, bad thoughts, questioning the purpose of life, brief perspective change, INCREDIBLY BRIEF MENTION OF SMUT (one word.)

DO NOT COPY THIS FIC IN ANY WAY PLS AND TY.

Joel opens the door with a sigh, toeing off his boots and calling out your name as he walks into the living room, wanting nothing more than to wrap his arms around you, breathe in your comforting scent and bask in your equally comforting embrace after a hard day of work. Normally you’d be in the living room, watching TV, maybe reading a book, or in the kitchen, cooking dinner, baking something new you’d found on the internet. But you weren’t today. It’s eerily quiet and he calls out your name again, breaking the silence with his loud voice as he walks up the stairs.

“Dariln’?” He asks as he pushes open the door to your bedroom; you’re not there either. He’s ready to start panicking since he’s checked just about every room of the house when he hears your voice coming from the bathroom.

“Just a minute!” You say, and he exhales with relief when you walk out of the room and up to him, giving him a small smile. It’s one of those smiles which doesn’t make your face look brighter or your eyes crinkle at the corners, no, it’s one of those smiles which you offer to him quickly to reassure him that everything’s okay, please don’t worry about me when you’re probably so stressed already.

“How was work?” You ask as your arms come around his neck and you hug him, breathing him in, holding him a little tighter than usual.

“Was a little tiring today, our supplier messed up the size of the headers and- Sorry, probably don’t mean nothin’ to ya.” He trailed off with a sheepish smile as his right hand came to the back of your neck, tilting your head back a bit so he could kiss you.

You melted into the kiss, eyes fluttering closed as you lost yourself in it. No matter how many times you kissed him, you’d never get enough of the feeling that came with it. Joel's kiss was like a drug, and you were addicted.

His hands skim up your sides but you pull back abruptly, wrinkling your nose. “You smell, Joel. Go shower.” You chuckle weakly and hit him playfully on the chest.

“Mm, I thought you like ‘em a little dirty?” He teased, making you scoff and shake your head as a smirk crept onto your lips.

“Not today. Get.” You told him sternly, still smiling nonetheless as he walked past you to go shower. The smile slipping from your face with ease as the door slides shut behind you.

A few hours later, showers have been taken, dinner made and eaten, and the both of you are now sat on the couch. Joel decided it was a good idea to watch a movie, putting on his favourite - Curtis and Viper 2 - much to your dismay. You swore that you’ve seen this damn movie so many times you’d be able to quote the entire thing word for word, but he still put it on, insisting that it was a classic and it wasn’t like you had any better ideas anyway.

You'd both come to learn that during movie nights, you'd always end up either falling asleep on his shoulder or you were both fucking before even the halfway mark.

Tonight you were curled into Joel's side, silently watching the movie with him. Well, not really watching the movie, just kind of watching the screen. Staring at the pixels and letting the sounds of the film and the world around you in through one ear, out the other.

You were lost in your thoughts, that was happening more often nowadays, mindlessly picking at your nails as you pondered on questions that were far too heavy to ponder this late at night. What's the point of life if we're all going to die one day? Why am I always so hopeless? Why can I never find the purpose in anything? Why am I getting worse at hiding these bad feelings? What if I get too miserable one day and Joel stops loving me? What if I'm just a burden to him?

The final two questions hit you hard, making you do a sharp inhale as you suddenly sit up, startling Joel in the process.

He turns to face you wearily, eyebrows furrowed. “Baby? What's wrong?” He asks quietly, arm coming around you and pulling you back into his side as he kisses your hair.

“‘s nothing. Sorry. Just tired- I think I'm gonna go to sleep.” You mumble, gently extracting yourself from his hold.

He frowns deeper. “Y’ don't wanna stay with me and finish the movie? Even though I know you weren't watching.” He attempts to tease lightly, wanting to lift the mood.

“No, um- you stay and watch it, that's okay. I'm gonna go to sleep now. Goodnight.” You say hurriedly, forgetting to even give him a goodnight kiss before you're up the stairs and in the bedroom, closing the door a little too quickly and praying the slam of it didn't further his concern.

Your back is pressed against the door as you grip the handle tight, eyes squeezing shut as you try to slow your breathing. It's not working, and you just want it to stop. You don't want to be upset, you don't want to feel like you're drowning in your own emotions again, you don't want Joel to find you crying upstairs in your room.

And the only thing you can think of doing is harming yourself. It's been on your mind a lot recently, as your sadness starts to get a little bit too much and you can't find any way to extinguish it. It feels like it's consuming you and you can only think about the last time things got like this. About how you dealt with it.

It would be so easy. You knew how to do it. But you couldn't bring yourself to. You'd be failing him, you saw how upset he was when he found out what you were doing last time and you didn't want to make him feel bad ever again.

You just didn't want to be a burden.

The door slams upstairs and Joel’s frown deepens. His hand goes for the remote, turning off the TV. He's seen this movie enough times, he thinks.

He slowly goes up the stairs and makes his way to your bedroom, wanting to make sure everything's okay.

You were definitely a little off tonight, zoning out and not being as talkative as you normally were, giving him a reason to already be a little concerned. Then you practically ran upstairs a minute ago, seeming panicked and making him worry even more.

He's at the door now, gently coaxing it open, and he's met with darkness. Darkness and silence.

He whispers your name, closing the door behind him as he flicks the light switch on, jumping slightly when he sees that you're right there, sat on the edge of the bed.

You turn to face him and he immediately notices how your face is wet with tears, eyes swollen and red, hair slightly dishevelled.

His heart effectively breaks at the sight of you.

“Baby- what's wrong?” He asks, concerned as ever, as he rushes over to you.

You rub at your eyes furiously, blinking back any further tears as you swallow.

“Nothing- nothing's wrong, Joel-” Your voice wavers as you speak and there's clearly something wrong - why you try so hard to hide it from him is beyond him.

He gently pulls your hands away from your face and holds them together in your lap.

“There's somethin’ wrong, sweetheart. I can see it.” He says softly, his thumb brushing away another tear that’s slowly trailing down your cheek.

You're completely silent, lip quivering.

You don't want to be a burden. If you tell him, he'll get upset and then he'll try to help you, even though you feel like nobody can. You'll just end up being a burden.

You shake your head, squeezing his hand as you do.

“Baby please. Talk to me.” He pleads with you, cupping your cheek and looking at you with so much care and worry that it makes you want to sob all over again.

“I just feel like shit.” You mumble so quietly he almost missed it. “I-” you start, but you just sigh frustratedly, digging your nails into your palms. “I feel.. really bad, again. It almost feels worse this time and it just makes me want to hurt myself. To make it all stop.” You say through clenched teeth, upset and afraid and so, so angry with yourself for admitting how you feel. You do it so much easier now but only because you and Joel had worked so hard to get rid of these defensive walls you'd built around yourself, walls that forced you to conceal your feelings and bottle your emotions.

“Oh, sweet girl.” He frowns, sitting on the bed and turning you to face him a little more. You don't want to look at him. You don't want to see him getting upset and worrying about you. You can't bear it.

So you keep your eyes clamped shut and continue talking. “My thoughts were just getting so.. so loud. And I don't know how to make it stop, and I almost- I just thought it would help.” You're shaking, he can feel it. Little shivers across your entire body, making your breath tremble as you exhale and inhale shakily. “I'm so sorry, Joel. I'm sorry.” You start to sob and he feels like doing the same, because he hates seeing you like this. If he could take all the pain away, force it onto himself so you didn't have to bear it, he would.

He pulls you closer to him, into his lap as he cradles you and rocks you slightly, pressing soft kisses to your forehead and resting his head there.

“Baby, please stop apologisin’. You aren't doin’ anything wrong and.. I know it's hard. It's hard to stop yourself from relapsin’, but you've done so well. ‘m so damn proud of ya, because you've gone so long without hurtin’ yourself. And it's doin’ good for ya; you might not realise it but I do. You’re so much happier now without it, ya like a fuckin’ ball of sunshine.” He teases, making you let out a watery chuckle. He pauses for a moment to brush away your tears, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. “I love you. So so much. And I don't want to see you in pain like that ever again. I don't want my sunshine to go away, and I don't think you want her to either.”

You nod slowly, rubbing at your face as the final tears slip past your eyelids, looking up at Joel again.

He held you and you both talked for what must have been hours after that. You discussed what was really bothering you, how you could try make it better. Distractions helped, you decided. Joel proved to be a good distraction, as you ended the night listening to him talk about just about anything from the new diner that opened up in town to that one story from his childhood which made you snort with laughter every time (one which consisted of little Joel falling ‘head over heels in love’ with a girl when he was in elementary school, deciding to profess his love to her by writing a sappy poem for her and reading it to her in front of quite a large group of people.. only to be turned down. Naturally, he would've been, considering she was a fucking 16 year-old!)

He knew that that story would be the one to make you crack a smile, even if it was a small one, he just wanted to make his girl happy again.

You did a little more than smile, giggling so much you went red because that story never really gets old.

“There she is.” He murmured affectionately, tucking a stray lock of hair behind your ear and kissing the tip of your nose, then your cheek, then your lips.

It was a brief, yet loving, one, as he pulled back from the kiss and stroked your hair as your eyes fluttered shut.

Joel pulled you closer to him, your head now resting on his chest as your eyes fluttered closed from his soothing touch.

“G’night, babygirl.” He murmured, unsurprised when you didn't answer since you had already fallen asleep.

He stares up at the ceiling and he feels happy despite everything that happened tonight, because he feels good knowing that he can give you that solace and comfort that you just need so desperately sometimes, just like he gave you in the hours that passed. He'd do it a million times and more if it was for you.

Thank you sm for reading, I hope you.. enjoyed? Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated and requests are open. 💞

Note: My heart really goes out to you if you struggle with self harm. It's not easy to deal with and even harder to stop doing it once you've started, but you're not alone. Even if you feel like you have no one to talk to, there are countless places and websites you can look at which offer things like helplines and anonymous chats if you're struggling, and also give healthy solutions and alternatives etc. to self harm. You're so loved. Things might seem impossible but never give up. It will get better one day.

#amyispxnk fics #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #joel miller #the last of us #tlou hbo #joel miller hbo #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller angst #joel miller imagine #joel miller one shot #joel miller tlou #joel miller x reader #joel tlou #joel x reader #joel miller fan fiction #joel miller fanfic #joel miller fic #joel miller fluff #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x you #tlou #ppcu #ppcu fanfiction

[bunji-enthusiast]

Hello!

I wanted to make a dogday x cheetah smilling critter reader

Reader is basically the fusion of hoppy and kickin chicken

They're very curious, adventurous and energetic always looking for action or adventure around the factory and sometimes even bringing kids along with them which sometimes would always lead to reader getting scolded by both dogday and some of the workers because of the dangerous situations reader puts the kids into

And one day after reader comes back from one of their adventures to talk with dogday, he finds out that reader had injured her arm and tail from falling from somewhere and also bringing a child they took with them that had a small scratch on its cheek

Oops! This is way longer then I expected sorry ^^"

(Texas) Hold Em’ Please

Note || ooh this is such a neat idea, hope this was okay <3

WC || 1,005

More often than not, you would go searching for new adventures in the factory. You simply couldn’t be tied down to one singular floor or location, you wanted to feel freedom and the excitement of being able to search for things; even if you’d already seen it before. It was quite pleasant to do so anyway.

Though, this had led to multiple scoldings from DogDay and a few of the employees, as you had a habit of bringing the children along with you when they insist on it multiple times. You couldn’t help it! You certainly couldn’t turn down the children’s pleas either. Why would you be the one to restrict them from a possible adventure of fun? So you had always said yes every time they had asked. 

You try as you might to protect them from the possibilities of any bruises or actual injuries, as you know that will lead to real scoldings you were sure you didn’t want to be faced with in any case. Sometimes, there were bruises involved but you always had great solutions and remedies to fix them right up. It was a fortunate thing indeed that there hadn’t been any incidents of injuries before. The children getting hurt was the last thing you wanted anyway.

You just didn’t take into account it would one day truly be you in that position.

This was a recurring setup, it was everyday during work hours you had gone outside regulations and went along on one of your adventures. For someone like you, it wasn’t out of the ordinary to do so, you had always done this. But the sunny dog was beginning to get worried, you were taking longer than normal to return to Playcare, to their spot. You weren’t back just yet, and so many thoughts swam through DogDay’s mind.

“DogDay?..”

He didn’t respond, the onslaught of thoughts, still capturing his self-attention continuously. The figure snapped their fingers against his ears once more, trying to get him back to reality. 

“DOGDAY!” He snapped out of his incessant thoughts to find that Hoppy had been the one to snap the leader out of his mind-chamber. DogDay blinked for a few moments, white pupils flickering in and out. He shook his head and turned to Hoppy, wondering why she was making time to converse with him right now.

“Hoppy, what is it?” DogDay inquired, tilting his head as he awaited her reply. She groaned with a huff escaping her as she put a paw on her hip. She seemed to be consumed in thought as to how she would go about saying what she needed to, “SO… uh, our particularly adventurous friend got back from a recent one.”

Hoppy jabbed a thumb right behind her, throwing up her other hand to do so. “You really ought to be the one to look at this.” DogDay began to get worried upon hearing the words of his friend, sometimes at most you brought a sense of unease with how often you had brought about your adventures both privately and publicly with few of the children. But what has happened now? Something bad no doubt, he must hurry.

He then nodded, then stood to his feet. “Thank you, I’ll go right away-” He then turned to the group of children that accompanied him, looking on in confusion. “Could you?..” DogDay trailed off, gesturing to the children. Hoppy nodded with an exasperated sigh, urging him to go and check on you.

DogDay scuttled away, waving at Hoppy before he had disappeared out of view. “You're the best, Hoppy!” He smiled at her then continued onward.

It didn’t take long for DogDay to find you, seeing as how he was informed that you were in the infirmary being checked on by a medical professional. Now it didn’t take long either for it to register this was a more major situation, you were hurt. He looked around to see another body in the Med Bay, the building was buoyant, yet so empty. 

A child?

A whimper snapped him out of his shock, you noticed that DogDay had arrived. “Hey.” You grin tired, the vocal pronunciation prolonged as you appeased in embarrassment before DogDay. He wasn’t sure what to say, out of the shadow of the fear raging within his heart that he might make the situation even worse than it needed to be.

“Angel,” He began, “What happened?” DogDay walked over to you, seeing as how the nurse had finally taken her leave. 

“I, I uh…” You stutter, burning in embarrassment. “I injured my arm and tail, and..” Your head snaps to where the child was resting, actually taking a nap after his cheek had been tended to. “He got a scratch on his cheek.”

DogDay’s shoulders deflated in relief, seeing the situation wasn’t as terrible as he had made it out to be. Suddenly, he had hugged you, causing you to choke out in surprise. 

“DogDay?”

“I’m just glad you two are okay.” His voice carried a warmth as if he had lived a long time, though it wasn’t the truth it had simply felt as if it was that way. DogDay laxed in his hold, pulling back so you could regain personal space. “All that there was to it, then there was no reason for me to worry that much.”

You were almost stunned, used to the scoldings you normally would get. This wasn’t one, not at all. DogDay was actually genuine with his words, you weren’t sure of what to say in return. DogDay couldn’t help but chuckle at your inability to speak, “NO, worries… okay? I just, I really don’t want to see you or any of the children hurt.”

“But, what had happened in the first place for you to end up here?” DogDay questions, head tilted and one ear raised. Typical dog-like behavior resides within your friend, a small laugh escapes you at the thought. You shrug your shoulders as you return in reply with words of your own.

“We fell.”

“...”

“What?”

#poppy playtime #dogday poppy playtime #poppy playtime x reader #poppy playtime chapter 3 #x reader #poppy playtime dogday

[vampykween]

Second Chances (part 2)

summary: little poppy is simon riley’s entire world and you’ve just had yours turned completely upside down. despite everything, it seems like everything falls into place when you’re with each other. cw: mentions of character death a/n: i wanted to dive into Simon and Poppy's backstory with this part so reader isn't really present in this but, i felt like it was important to establish some backstory ☻ this slightly proofread, but forgive me if there are any mistakes wc: 1789 part 1

Although his face doesn't show it, Simon is thrilled listening to Poppy talk his ear off on the walk home from school. He wouldn't dare admit he spent the whole day busying himself with household tasks to keep his mind from wandering to his little girl. As soon as they cross the threshold of their home Poppy is off like a shot, shrugging off her backpack and kicking off her black mary janes. Simon sighs fondly, hangs her backpack up on its hook, and deposits her shoes in their rightful spot on the shoe rack. One day he’ll get her to do it herself, but for now, he’s content with trailing after her and picking up every little thing she drops if it means she’ll always stay this young and innocent. 

When he rounds the corner he’s met with the sight of Poppy scribbling on a large sheet of paper - her brand new box of crayons strewn across the living room table - and the sound of her favorite cartoon; which Simon finds mind-numbing but he grins and watches with her when she asks because he’ll be damned if he doesn't make her feel like the things she likes aren’t important to him. 

“Whatcha working on there, lovie?” Simon asks with genuine curiosity, he hadn't expected her to come home with any work to do already. The young girl gestures to her crafts, “We’re making family trees at school, I’m a little bit stuck though daddy, I don't know who to put on the tree.” She pouts at him from her spot on the floor and Simon is hit with a wave of grief for the life his daughter could’ve had. 

Six years ago 

“Oh my god, Simon, are you even listening to me?!” Amelia snapped in Simon’s face as he zoned out on the couch. His body was firmly planted in their living room, but his mind wasn't. Pregnant. The word bounced around his brain like a pinball machine, he’s suddenly brought back to the present at the sound of his girlfriend's sobbing. 

“God, I'm right in front of you and it’s like we're not even in the same room. I beg you time and time again to just be present with me, and you act like it’s so fucking hard.” Amelia hiccups and frustratedly wipes at her eyes, “if you don't want this tell me now, cause it’s hard enough feeling like you don't even love me, I can't imagine handling you not loving our child either.” 

Simon turns sharply in her direction at her admission, he knows it’s rocky between them he’s no idiot, but to hear her say that he doesn’t love her, or wouldn't love their child fucking tears him up. He takes her hands in his, and tugs gently until she meets his eyes. 

“Em, you have to know that I do love you, and hell I’m scared out of my mind right now, but god please don’t think for a second that I wouldn't love our child.” He pulls her into his arms and strokes her hair gently until her cries subside. 

“I'm so scared Simon, you and I are not okay. What if that never changes?” Amelia asks somberly. She couldn't remember the last time she wasn't griping at Simon for something, or Simon giving her the silent treatment and storming off for hours at a time. She knew a baby wouldn't change that, hell it had been five years already and they still weren’t married. The wishful part of her hoped that Simon would say that he was going to change for good and that they would fix their relationship and become a happy family. 

“We’ll figure it out, I promise yeah?” Simon had a way of looking at her like she was his world and for just a moment Amelia believed that everything would be okay. 

~ 

Unsurprisingly things were not okay, Amelia woke in the middle of the night grasping her large bump in pain. She regrets her decision to make Simon sleep in the guest bedroom because now her options are to attempt to waddle and wake up her boyfriend? Baby daddy? Things were tense and she wasn't sure what they were anymore. The months she’s spent growing their little bundle of joy have been hellish; being pregnant exacerbated Amelia’s growing disdain for Simon and made every transgression seem far worse than ever before. 

“God, Em, just let me do it. I don't need you hurting yourself.” 

“Piss off Simon, I'm not a baby. I can handle building a crib by myself.” 

Simon rolls his eyes but doesn't move from his spot in the doorway. Pretty much any conversation with his girlfriend was an argument waiting to happen. They both swore they would make it work, but it seemed like the longer time went on the more they were at each other’s throats. 

Amelia braves the idea of trying to make it to Simon’s room when a contraction subsides. She trudged down the hallway to his room and pushed on his shoulder roughly to rouse him. 

“Simon. Simon, wake up.” 

“What do ya want,” he questions groggily, still half asleep. 

“The baby’s fucking coming, get up. I'm dying in pain over here.” 

He shoots up at her words, panic settling into his bones as he realizes that this is it. They were about to come home with a baby, they were seriously going to be parents. He smiles brightly at her in the dark room, only slightly lit by the moonlight because Simon still hadn't put up the curtains she asked him to. Amelia wanted to tell him to wipe the stupid grin off his face because she was pissy and in excruciating pain, but a part of her couldn't help but smile too. Maybe they would come home with their little bundle of joy and everything would be different. 

~

The sound of small cries fills the hospital room and Simon is sure he’s never cried so hard in his life. 

“Congratulations, it’s a girl,” the nurse says as she lays the tiny baby on Amelia's chest. She smiles down at their little girl, but it’s wobbly and the color is rapidly draining from her face. Before he could have a second to even bask in, what he’s sure is the best moment of his life, the sound of machines beeping erratically and the flurry of nurses surrounding Amelia has him paralyzed with fear. 

~ 

The sterile smell of the hospital was burning his nostrils with every shaky breath he inhaled. They kept saying something about Amelia losing too much blood and that they needed to act fast and a million other things, but it felt as if his ears were filled with cotton and his head was trapped underwater. Simon’s heart was beating like a hummingbird trapped in a cage; he couldn't handle losing another person he loved. Why was it that everyone around him seemed to be viciously ripped from him? 

Poppy, the name they had decided on just a few short days ago, was on the verge of having no mother and a grief-addled skeleton for a father. His lungs couldn’t hold enough air and suddenly he felt dizzy, he thought for a moment about what it would be like to let this day be his end too. But he then thought of his little girl growing up, traumatized from being abandoned as soon as she entered the world. Simon was not a man made of tears, but he found himself shedding them freely in the cold, hard hospital chairs as he waited to see if his entire world was about to come crashing down. He chides himself for all the arguments they had had recently, he can't even remember the last time he told Em that he loved her. He did love her, even if he wasn't able to love her the way she so desperately wanted him to. 

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, a doctor comes out where he’s sat, and he feels his throat constrict at the look on her face. 

“Mr. Riley, we did everything we could…” 

Whatever she says after doesn't even register because he feels like the room is spinning and he can't breathe and he's going to die he’s sure of it. What did he do to deserve the cards he had been dealt? How was he supposed to go home and take care of his daughter and act like he didn't have to plan on how he was going to bury her mother?

 Simon is hit with flashes of the future of all these he knows nothing about like periods, relationships, and all the things a little girl wants her mother for. 

At that very moment, Simon had nothing but Poppy. He wanted to lock himself in his home and never face the light of day again, but he knew that for her, he needed to be her everything. And that meant, trudging through every painful, sinister day so she never feels anything short of loved irrevocably. 

~ 

The shrill sound of Poppy crying has been Simon’s soundtrack for the better part of the day now. As if the small infant knows he’s inadequate, and most definitely not her mother, she wails loudly no matter what he does to soothe her. 

Amelia would know what to do, she was always the type to have her nose buried in parenting books, and if Simon even had a moment's peace maybe he’d pick one up. That unfortunately meant going into her bedroom, not even their bed because they had been fighting and sleeping in separate rooms right before their daughter was born. The door at the end of the hall has been closed since he got home from the hospital a week ago. Every time he thinks he’s ready to brave the room, his stomach twists in knots so tight he has to remind himself he’s okay and that he’s alive. 

Simon rocks his newborn gently in his arms as he sinks into the couch, sighing at the way he can still smell a hint of her mother’s perfume. He’d give anything to have Amelia ripping into him right now, just to hear the sound of her voice. 

He looks down at Poppy, who magically has granted him a reprieve from her sobs, and smiles softly at her. “You look just like your mother, ya know that? You’ve got a bit of my ugly mug in there too, but your eyes? That’s all her.” The baby blinks up at him and Simon leans down and kisses the crown of her head gently. “It’s just gonna be you and I kid, but I promise I'll do my very best with ya.” 

taglist: @darkravenqueen98 @jupiternighties @lunamoonbby @happy-mushrooms @yyiikes @liliumbosniacum @fluffymaxsworld

banners from @reveriesources and @cafekitsune pic creds: @ave661

#simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #ghost x reader #dad!ghost #dad!simon #oc: poppy #cw: character death #second chances au #mic writes

[callmewrinkles3]

Anti-hero - DR3 x Fem!OC

Masterlist.

Summary: 2021 hasn't exactly been the best season, and Dan's struggling with the car not driving how he wants it to. But he didn't realise that Emmy was struggling with her own work.

Warnings: Zak Brown, McLaren era in general, smut (piv, kink behaviour (marking, domination, praise kinks, light choking, consensual pain by pinching and spanking) that are in the context of a long term already defined relationship but are not explicitly discussed on the page, fingering, teasing. They're kinky kids who love it), explicit aftercare, mentions of race crashes (Monza 2021).

Words: 11k

A/N: We're baaaaaack! This is a bit of a departure for us, and we really hope you like it. As always let us know what you think, we love hearing from you!

September 2021

Dan couldn’t admit it to anyone, but the fact that Em was travelling with him everywhere was probably the best thing in his life right then. Most of the time he was miserable and he fully admitted it. McLaren meant his days were hard, the car felt weird, and it sucked. At least in Zandvoort he’d been able to have some fun in the orange cape, cheering Max on. As much as a clusterfuck that championship battle would be a part of.

The one he’d been assured he’d be a part of next year. He didn’t fully believe Zak anymore. He wanted to but something yelled at him not to.

They were sitting in the private terminal waiting to be told the McLaren jet was ready to go, Dan watching as Em worked for the few minutes before they were called. The VIP area had become normal to him, but for her it was new. It was bright and shiny and he still remembered the first time that she said she didn’t feel like she belonged there.

They’d been in bed in Italy in 2019, flying to Monza from Belgium with Max and Christian in one of the most awkward flights of his life while Em was her usual sweet self. She’d told him that private jets were for important people and she was just Em. It led to his joke that her middle name should be Humble, not Charlotte. But she deserved the world, and the world included that she deserved to be in the jet with him and everyone else.

He loved every piece of her, wanted to tell the world that he loved her but they’d agreed to keep things to themselves. He didn’t know how much longer he could do it. They were down to days until Italy and he was going to say everything, he just had to keep it in till then. He had a plan and he was sticking to it.

He pulled out the carefully wrapped package Max had slipped him after several requests with a “Vicky said these are the best.”, smiling at the still crisp treat.

“Em, here.” He held the stroopwafel out carefully, caramel nearly dripping from the edge as she shook her head and took a sip from her Pepsi bottle. “You don’t want one?”

“I’m not a caramel fan, Danny.”

“But this whole week?” Every time someone gave him one he’d take a bite and offer her one, grinning while she smiled and took a dainty bite in between checking things on her tablet. It became easy to pass it over to her.

“You looked so happy feeding me bites, I didn’t want to break your heart by telling you I don’t like caramel. Toffee yeah, but not caramel.” She smiled at him before turning her head back to work, Dan staring at the woman he loved and her pure ridiculousness.

He watched as she stared at her tablet and frowned at it not doing what she wanted. But he wanted to curl up with her on his lap the same way they were when they flew separately. But instead they’d be separated in the luxurious white leather seats, she’d have her head buried in a book with her earplugs in and trying to ignore everyone around her. It’d be fine. It had to be. Even if they were spending it with people she didn’t feel comfortable around.

Before Dan started with the team he knew she didn’t have anything against Lando. He was a kid who’d joined the grid and was fine. Dan didn’t want to know a whole lot about him after the awkward moment of Lando’s best friend asking Em for coffee in the middle of the paddock when he was a Renault junior and Em was there as Dan’s guest. It took time for Dan to let his jealousy go and Em giggled at it, but he’d finally chilled out. Then Em couldn’t totally chill out about Lando after Monaco.

The “I’ve no sympathy for him” was burned into her brain, she’d had more than one nightmare about it. That kid who didn’t know what he was talking about, who hadn’t ever had to experience anything, saying that? He was showing how privileged he was having walked straight into a team that was expected to be at the top of the midfield. Dan had told her stories about the four day warning he had before his HRT debut, she knew how it had been for him. But Em would take anything that anyone said about her - and God knew she had this year - but if you said something about the people she loved then you were essentially invisible to her. And Lando Norris had reached the invisible stage.

She was always unfailingly polite, saying good morning and good night and making small talk as they were in the same group, but other than that it was radio silence between them. Dan had tried to convince her that it was all fine, Lando was just a kid who needed to learn, but she couldn’t let it go. Months later it was still the same.

She got on the plane just ahead of Dan, smiling at the flight attendant before taking the window seat that Dan pointed her at. He took the seat beside her, Blake and Michael slipping into the seats on the other side of the table. He watched as Lando sat in on the other side, Jon and Lando’s parents there too. Someone pulled an Uno deck out and everyone except Lando’s parents and Em started playing it.

She was sat quietly in her seat, one of the cloth bound classics he’d gotten for her birthday in her hand as she read. He could see the tiny loop of her earplugs just visible, knowing she could hear everyone but was tuning it out to concentrate and it broke his heart a little bit. He wanted to pull her onto his lap, kiss the top of her head and tell her to take a nap because he knew she’d slept badly the last few nights but he couldn’t. She’d have killed him if he tried.

Nobody in McLaren knew anything about them. He wasn’t stupid, he knew there were debates on what he and Em were, but nobody knew the truth. He’d told a mechanic on Lando’s side of the garage to shut up when he made a comment about Em’s ass before. There were rumours all around the paddock and online, he wasn’t blind, but they wouldn’t confirm what they had. He wanted to keep Em safe, and nobody being able to prove that she was the love of his life was easier. Everyone in Renault knew about them - he was convinced Cyril had deliberately started a fight so the cameras were away so he could kiss her at the Nurburgring - and even in Red Bull Christian and Simon had made jokes about Dan’s heart eyes whenever Em was at a race. But it was never public, it was always between them. And in McLaren it just didn’t feel right to tell them.

Em was having issues clicking with them, the constant “if you need an assistant” comments from Zak and Andreas just pissing him off. Em was his assistant, she did a fucking great job and she was getting no respect for it. Zak had insisted that it was teething problems and it’d be fine but it had been going on for nearly nine months now. It was like his driving style and the car, it just couldn’t click right.

So they were avoiding sharing planes whenever possible. He’d organise his own charter, or go with a different driver, or anything. They’d even gone with Fernando at one point, Nando quizzing Dan on the clusterfuck that was the Renault upper echelons while they flew. Or they’d book commercial and deal with looks and selfie requests, because even being on a plane with 150 strangers was better for her anxiety than a tiny jet with people who she didn’t like. Which made no sense to Dan because people at every other team had liked her. There was a reason that she had a standing invitation into multiple hospitality suites if she wanted it.

But they couldn’t help it going to Monza. It was the final leg of the triple header, everyone exhausted and wanting more sleep. So it was easier to say yes and go so they got to the hotel earlier and actually got some sleep. But it meant that he couldn’t cuddle her, he couldn’t even hold her hand and snuggle with her to forget the world existed. Instead she sat there curled in on herself as she was halfway through Pride and Prejudice, a frown on her face and Dan unable to kiss it away.

After a torturous half hour of flying without touching her Dan was tired of it. Friends got to be affectionate with each other, he’d hugged her in public before. He could be touchy with his best friend. He laid his hand over hers, fingers lying in the gaps. She’d put one hand on the armrest as her other hand held her tablet, half looking out the window at the dark night and half paying attention to her screen. She barely even reacted to him, just her fingers loosening and then lacing with his to squeeze for a moment. It said more to him than a thousand words could have.

He knew her well enough to know she’d be silent during the flight, but he wanted to make her smile instead of the small frown on her face. If they were alone he’d have pressed kisses across her cheeks and nose to make her laugh, asking him to stop because his stubble was scratching her. But that wasn’t an option until they were in the hotel in a few hours. The next best option was texting, watching as the notification of his text appeared on her tablet.

The sky should be really jealous.

???

Because it’s pretty outside but it’s nowhere near as pretty as you.

Cocky. Should be jealous of you though, black looks good on you.

You look better on me than black does.

You’re gonna say we can test it out when we get to the hotel, aren’t you?

U know me so well.

Nobody else noticed the tiny smile that appeared on her face, but Dan did. It was there for barely a second but it was enough. At least until he could make sure she was smiling when they were fully alone.

It wasn’t until they were in the car on the way to the hotel and away from the airport that he could hold her hand and press a kiss to her fingers. There were no questions about where anyone was sitting or who was driving, he got straight into the back seat with Emmy, gripping her hand across the middle seat.

“Can we go for pizza after we check into the hotel? I’ve been waiting for one.”

“Already thinking about pizza?” Michael asked it and Dan frowned at his tone, taking it as exhausted.

“I’m never not thinking about pizza in Monza. This pizza keeps me going through the year. Plus, I didn’t throw anyone off the plane or start an argument so I deserve it.”

“You kind of do,” Dan affirmed, lifting their joined hands to his lips to kiss her knuckles.

Emmy’s wishes were his command so if his girl wanted pizza he wasn’t saying no. The fact that her favourite pizza place was also his favourite was an extra point in their relationship. After they checked in, left their things in rooms and Dan pulled her to his room for a quickie to prove his theory of the best way he looked, they left the room to have dinner.

He loved Italy. It was his family’s country, it was the first place that he’d lived on his own in Red Bull supplied housing, he had thousands of memories there. But his favourite ones were Em in Italy with him.

She always seemed happier there, more carefree. The first time he’d brought her to Italy was that first week in Monaco, eating pasta and showing her places he loved. Even when they were busy with work at races she carried herself differently there. When they had their post Monza vacation every year she was always completely relaxed. He grinned just watching her.

He could feel her relax against him as they got out of the car a few streets away from the pizza place. It always felt like he was a little bit of a spy in a foreign land when he was in Monza, the Tifosi out in force. But she was so chilled out that she didn’t say anything when he reached for her hand and held it tightly. Any time they were in public she always gave him her Dan, we’re in public face because they didn’t need any more rumours or people on the internet asking what they were. They didn’t need more people whispering about them.

He didn’t care about it. He couldn’t care less if people talked about him, that came with the territory of his job. But he couldn’t handle people talking about Em and gossiping about her. So he tried to keep his hands from her even when he kept reaching out to take her hand walking anywhere. That night he couldn’t stay away from her and she didn’t say anything about him holding her hand walking down semi familiar streets, or his hand on her lower back as they were brought to their table, or his arm around her shoulder pulling her in for a hug. She didn’t give him a little look or a gentle nudge in the stomach, no whisper to leave her alone while they were in public. It was completely the opposite, after a sip of his beer she was fully leaned against his side and half snuggling him.

“You know what we should do?” Dan whispered in her ear, only half listening to the debate that Michael and Blake were having about the Black Widow movie.

“I’m scared but curious. Tell me,” Em answered as she ignored her lemon drink in favour of another sip from his one allowed beer before a race week fully started.

“Buy a house in Italy.” He watched as her eyes lit up and her face started to move to a grin before she forced it down.

“You’re the most ridiculous man in the world. When would you have time to spend in Italy?”

“We totally could. A cute little house, a couple of bedrooms, a garden, by one of the lakes. It’d be perfect. We should do it.”

“You’re insane.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Of course it’s not!”

She was saying no but the smile she was fighting to keep off her face was enough to make Dan know it was an excellent idea. After they got engaged and found a place in London he was gonna start trying to find somewhere for them. And hopefully some kids. Showing their kids where their family was from, even if it wasn’t Sicily.

They spent the rest of the night chatting and laughing, eating pizza and joining in the conversation with their friends. Em pretended she was sticking to just soft drinks, stealing a sip from his beer every now and then as Dan winked at her and tried so hard not to kiss her wrinkled nose. The four of them walked back to their hotel as Dan forced himself not to take her hand and kiss her on the street. He had a plan and he was sticking to it. This time next week he'd be on a proper date with her, kissing her and then asking her the question that had been burning a hole in his bag since the previous Christmas. It was going to be perfect.

**

Em loved lazy Wednesdays in Italy. The fact that she'd had enough of them to know that was a magical feeling. It was the end of their triple header, just one more race to go and then they got to relax and spend a couple of days on the shores of Lake Como. Dan had taken control of booking their trip, a cute villa slightly outside the main tourist area. They spent the day relaxing for most of it. Dan had given her a list of restaurants to look at and they mapped out where they’d eat for the three days. They would have killed for longer but it just wasn’t possible in the middle of the season.

That evening was a sponsor dinner that she had to dress up for and look appropriate to be on Dan’s arm. She hated those nights with a passion. She had to be in a fancy dress and full makeup, talking to the rich men who wanted Dan at events. At least this one was for Google Italy, it was more fun than some of the other events she’d been at. A particularly boring DeWalt shoot came to mind on that.

It was Google shmoozing their own clients, using Dan and Lando to do it. Em stayed on Dan’s arm for the entire night as she smiled and shook hands. Halfway through Zak found them and stopped to talk, his own wife there with him. It was Em left with Tracy for a few moments while Zak took Dan around to speak. The two women had wine glasses in their hands and looked around the room.

“Having a good evening, Emma?” Tracy asked, Em nodding.

“It’s Em, but yeah. These events aren’t always fun but it’s nice to see Dan in his element. It’s part of the job.”

“I suppose. Not every assistant does what you do.” Em took a sip of her wine, careful not to knock the glass back like she really wanted to.

“Dan and I were friends before I started working for him. If it means that Dan can enjoy events a bit more then I don’t mind.” Tracy watched her closely for a few moments but nodded as their respective dates for the night returned.

“Sorry about that, I had to double check some things. Daniel, you’re in with Valtteri for the press conference tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah, I am. Should be fun. We’re gonna head off, it’s a busy day tomorrow. See you at the track?”

He took Em’s arm and pulled her along out of the room, the two of them getting into the car and heading back to their hotel. She was tired from the busy room and having to be on around people but she kept it together as they drove on. Dan held her hand on the way back, fingers locked as he pushed a kiss to them. She smiled, looking forward to getting into bed and out of the dress she was in. Even if Dan looked excellent in his suit.

She started pulling pins out of her hair to take it out of the undo she’d managed, Dan standing beside her and pulling them out too. Once they were out he started kissing along her shoulder as he pushed her dress down. Em threw her head back to give him more access before they made it to bed.

Thursdays were weird now. Instead of press conferences it was all digital, the journalists in their hotel rooms asking questions. It meant more setup meetings, more talking, more everything. She used Dan’s meetings as a way to get the weekend planned. But it didn’t seem as busy as normal. Her calendar was half empty. Again.

At Zandvoort she thought it was a mistake but it wasn’t. It didn’t feel right. Em put her worries aside, taking a deep breath as she looked. There had to be an explanation and she needed a moment.

“I’m getting a coffee, anyone want anything?” It was just her, Dan, and Blake upstairs. Michael was out doing some checks and making sure the kitchen was stocked and ready.

“Green tea please Emmy? You make it best.” She laughed at Dan’s puppy eyes, nodding as Blake gave her his order and she went down to the main hospitality area. It didn’t take long to have everything and she went to go back upstairs when a security guard stopped her.

“Sorry Miss, drivers and support only.” His arm blocked the narrow staircase and Em stared at him.

“I am support. I’m Daniel Ricciardo’s assistant, I need to get this up to him.”

“No entry.”

Em sat watching until the guard was called outside and ran upstairs, smiling and pretending it was fine. It had to be fine. There was no other option. The drinks got handed and she watched as they were getting ready until Blake’s phone chimed.

“Shit, Dan, you’ve got a sit down we’ve got to go. Did you not see it Ems?” Blake asked, Em checking.

She stared at her tablet, the realisation hitting her. She wasn’t on any of Dan’s meetings. She looked at Blake’s calendar and his filled up with meetings, things he was in. But hers had a couple of things - the press conference, the race, practices. One of the engineering meetings. A fanzone appearance. But that was it. It was empty and she hated it. Her usually perfectly colour coded calendar was mostly blank and worried her. She was getting blocked out.

“Sorry I must have missed it. My calendar hasn’t synced, I’ll sort it.” Dan and Blake left, Em sitting staring.

She didn’t know why, she didn’t know what had caused this to happen but it was. How? Dan had promised that it was in his contract that his team had full access to all of his information and everything they needed to do their jobs. But she’d missed a meeting and he was nearly late and that was supposed to be why she was there. She had to keep that going. If she didn’t then why was she there?

The evening was half a blur as the realisation she was being pushed out hit her. Security stopping her going up to Dan and Blake. The way McLaren acted in general. All of it. They were pushing her out and forcing her away and she couldn’t keep going like this. It wasn’t fair to her or to Dan if she couldn’t do her job.

“You ok?” Dan asked at dinner, watching her barely touched food.

“Yeah. I’m fine. Just been a long, long day. I’m tired.”

“We can go back soon.”

When they got back to the hotel room Em curled up beside him, feeling the warmth of his body around her and the way he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead before whispering goodnight. If this was her last race she was going to enjoy it.

**

Em was always the last one to get up in the morning. She was a night owl, getting up at seven because he had a race was the last thing she ever wanted to do. It was usually him waking her up with kisses and promises that he would bring her for food after that helped. Or early sleepy sex to wake her up. Both were fun for him.

But the bed was never empty at five in the morning. He could count on one hand how many times he’d woken up alone when they’d gone to bed together. The room was dark and silent, Em’s spot cold. She had to have been gone for more than a few minutes.

It took a few seconds for his vision to adjust to the quiet darkness and he slipped out of bed and searched for her. Her clothes were laid out where she’d left them the night before. Her shoes were there by the chair. She had to be either in the bathroom or the adjoining room that was hers in name only.

The worry in his gut turned to cold fear as he opened the bathroom door to discover her missing. His girl was gone and she had to be next door but why was she? What had she done to head to her room? It felt wrong. She should have been beside him. He eased open the adjoining door and spotted a ray of light spilling out from the bathroom. The fear eased. She was there, they could fix everything. It’d be fine. But her quiet sobs got louder as he padded across the carpeted floor to her. It was gut wrenching and painful and he pushed the door open to see his girl curled up on the floor beside the shower, her arms wrapped around her knees as she cried.

Em was in one of his oversized shirts - his in name only because he was pretty sure it was the shirt he’d given her over two years ago to help her sleep when he was travelling and she was still in London - hugging herself. Now that he was in the room her sobs were all encompassing and he had no idea how he didn’t hear her the second he woke up. She looked like a scared child, not the woman who shared his bed and his life and heart every day. This wasn’t the Em he knew.

She looked broken. He sat down beside her and pulled her into his arms, feeling how she tensed until she realised who he was. He wanted to hold her and fight against the world, but he needed to know which of her ghosts he was going to fight that night. But it felt like this time it was a whole haunted mansion. He pushed kisses against her forehead and rocked her gently, telling her how it was gonna be ok no matter what.

“I’m right here, Emmy, I promise. Whatever’s going on we can fix it. I promise. I’ll fix it for us.”

Her tears began to ease and he could look at her face. Her eyes were swollen and red, her cheeks flushed but the rest of her face so pale. He’d never seen her this bad before. She was shaking and trying to pull herself together and he knew she wasn’t gonna have the words to discuss what caused this for a few minutes.

“When you’re ready talk to me, ok? Whatever you need. But tell me what’s wrong so we can fix this. I’m worried about you.” His thumb wiped the tears from her cheeks, but he wasn’t quick enough to get them before more came. Slowly they eased and she could take breaths without sobbing. He kept rocking her until she was ready to speak.

“You need to get ready, D.” She went to get out of his arms but he held on and waited till she looked at him with an angry pout on her lips.

“I’m not going anywhere until we talk. There is nothing more important than you, Emmy. Nothing. You’re crying in the bathroom at five in the morning and you came in here so I couldn’t hear you. What’s going on, Wrinkles? Talk to me.” He stood up still carrying her, bringing her into the main hotel room and sitting on the bed. She was playing with the hem of her shirt nervously but Dan gave her time until she was ready to speak.

“I… Dan they’re pushing me away and they’re stopping me from doing my job. And if I can’t do my job at the track then I shouldn’t be travelling so why am I even here? There’s nothing for me to be here for.” He kept his face calm as she spoke, anger filling his veins. What the fuck.

“What are you talking about, Baby?”

“They didn’t want to let me in your room today. I went down for your tea and when I went to go back upstairs they didn’t let me. I snuck past when he was distracted. It’s why it was cold.”

“Who did that?”

“Some random security guard? I’ve never seen him before, I don’t know his name. He said it was drivers and support only and I wasn’t support.”

“I’ll find out who.” Or at least Blake would. He wasn’t letting them get away with this. He couldn’t.

“Danny they’re not letting me do anything. The meeting you nearly missed wasn’t on my calendar. I’m blocked out from everything and I don’t know what to do anymore. There’s no reason for me to be here now, but I don’t want to be away from all of you. I can’t lose you, Danny. I don’t want to be stuck alone and I don’t want them to keep us apart.” He could see the worry hitting her, and he held on, kissing her forehead while rubbing her back.

“You’re not going anywhere, Emmy. You’re not gonna lose me. I’m not letting you go anywhere you don’t want to without me. You’re the one who keeps us all sane and you can’t do that if you’re at home. When did all this start, Baby?”

“Hungary? Slowly but surely. Spa it was worse and Zandvoort was bad. I didn’t know how to talk to you and Blake about it. I thought maybe I could fix it.” She looked even more nervous, jumping as his phone alarm went off in their room.

“Just my alarm, it’s alright. You did nothing wrong Baby, you hear me? Nothing at all. I’m gonna talk to Blake and we’ll fix it. I promise you, you are perfectly fine and didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Thank you.” She went to stand up but Dan squeezed her tighter before letting go, kissing her cheeks to remove the trace of tears.

“Don’t thank me. You know, right?” He squeezed her hand as she stood.

“I know.” A watery smile filled her face. “I need to get ready, I think I need a shower to fix my face before I’m in public.”

“Grab one. I’m gonna run into Blake for a couple of minutes. Are you ok if I do?”

“I’ll be in the shower, don’t worry.”

“I will anyway. I’m gonna take my phone, if you need me call me and I’ll be back in two.” He made sure she was ok before he shrugged into a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. He picked up his phone and key before heading out, grabbing Em’s iPad as he did. Blake was a couple of rooms away and answered the door looking tired and annoyed, hair sticking up. When he saw Dan’s face he calmed.

“What happened?”

“Inside. Now.” Blake let him in and Dan handed Em’s iPad over, her calendar open to today. There was practice and qualifying in it and that was it. He saw how Blake raised an eyebrow.

“What the fuck?”

“I heard her crying through the wall. She’s getting left out of everything.”

“I know you share a room, I’m not a fucking idiot.”

“She went back into hers.” He laid out the little information that Em had given him, comparing her calendar to Blake’s. The missing meetings, how she was kept away. Zak asking when he wanted his new assistant to start. Dan had to stay calm but Blake could be angry then.

“I’m getting a meeting before practice. She’s gonna be fine, Dan. She’s not going anywhere. We know this. It’s Em, she keeps us alive half the time. Go back, have a shower, we’ve got breakfast downstairs for eight and then we’ll go from there.”

Too much time had passed since he got up to find her, but Dan pushed himself to get ready and get his head in the game. It was going to be a busy, chaotic morning but Em came first. The four of them ate breakfast together and he watched as she barely ate her yogurt. He stood and went over to the buffet, coming back with a Nutella croissant and a hot chocolate to put in front of her. She never really ate when she was anxious so hopefully something would be better than nothing.

On the drive to the circuit he held Em’s hand. Blake drove, Michael in the front seat beside him. Nerves thrummed through his body as he linked fingers but Em kissed his hand and he relaxed. She was there. She was right there and it was all ok.

When they finally made it into the circuit Michael went to do some checks while the other three went to his driver’s room. Em sat there staring into space while Dan stretched out. Finally it was time to go down to Zak, Blake tapping his shoulder.

“Emmy we’re heading, ok? I’ll be back in a few. If you need anything call me.”

“I will.” She still looked nervous so he leaned over to peck her lips, smiling as they separated.

“It’s gonna be fine. I promised you. Focus on holiday plans, which beach are we going to first?” She smiled at him and nodded, safe in his room. Nobody was going to remove her from it, nobody was going to kick her out. She belonged there.

He went down the stair with Blake, ignoring the look that his friend gave him.

“So you and Em?”

“Nothing.”

“It didn’t look like nothing.”

“We’re nearly there.”

“Nearly?”

“I’m trying to make it work.”

“Mate, I’m saying this as someone who loves both of you. She loves you. Just tell her.”

“We’re nearly there.” By the time Dan spoke they were outside Zak’s office and he shook his head to end the conversation. A knock on the door and they were inside, Zak standing ready to end it.

“Guys can we talk later? I’m heading to a meeting, but after qualifying we can-“

“We’re talking now.” He sat down, watching how Zak sat too. Blake followed suit.

“What’s going on?”

“Why is Em being kept from my calendar and everything she’s supposed to be on? She’s been removed from everything. She’s not supposed to be removed. It’s in my contract. What’s going on?”

“I don’t-“

“Emma isn’t able to do her job. She’s missing things because you’ve been keeping her away from everything she needs. She needs access.” Blake took over and Dan was fine to let him, he ended it. He couldn’t keep himself calm for this. He let the words wash over him until Zak got his laptop up.

“We need to keep our information safe. Having someone not employed by McLaren affects this. It’s why we’ve been asking about getting you a new assistant.”

“And Blake has access to my calendar. He’s not employed by McLaren. I trust Em with everything, you need to trust her too.”

“Fine.”

It took another two minutes before Zak closed the laptop, looking at them. “She’s there. If we lose anything I will blame her for it.”

Dan stood and left, too angry to talk. He had to get into the car soon and he wasn’t going to let it affect him. He couldn’t. Em was most important.

Emmy was still sitting where he’d left her, staring into space. It was clear to him now how much this was affecting her, she hadn’t even opened her tablet and her makeup was heavier than he ever saw it. All he wanted to do was make it better for her and fix things. This he could fix. He could make this better for her. There wasn’t a whole lot he could always fix but this he could fix. She looked up at him when he arrived and Dan smiled.

“Check your calendar.”

It took all of ten seconds for her to see that everything was back in her calendar and he watched her relax into her seat. If Blake wasn’t there he’d have kissed her, but they both had jobs to do and practice was an hour away. It was squeezing her shoulder before he went downstairs to talk to Tom.

After practice it felt like things might go ok. He went over data and grabbed lunch before getting into a fresh race suit for qualifying. Like always Em was the last person he spoke to before he got into the car. She kissed the side of his helmet and smiled with a whispered “Go fast and be safe”.

For the first time in McLaren his qualifying felt like it went right. He got out of the car just six thousandths behind Lando. It was good. Em was grinning from the back of the garage with her headphones still on when he arrived in.

That evening as soon as he could get out he did, wanting nothing more than to get to bed. The early morning had done him in, and Em was dead on her feet. It was a quick dinner in hospitality and back to the hotel, Michael and Blake in the car with them again before going up to their rooms. He watched Emmy get changed and set out her clothes for the next day like she always did. Once they were curled up in bed he pulled her closer, desperate to hold onto her as tightly as he could.

“Apart from the obvious, how was today?” He couldn’t feel her tense up at least. That was a good sign.

“Weird. But ok. Blake was like my shadow today, I was beside him the whole day. There was a weird security guy who kept looking at us but other than that it was good.” Dan felt his stomach clench but he made himself stay calm. He’d noticed extra security but that couldn’t have been why. There was no way there was extra there for his Emmy. Not at all.

He watched her eyes close and her breathing even out, his thumb rubbing circles on her back. Three more nights after this. By this time Tuesday evening he’d have said everything, and Emmy would know all of it. The ring sitting in his bag would have a home on her finger. He had so many plans for them. He wanted to marry her over Christmas when they were in Perth, make it all official. She deserved every moment of happiness he could give her and this was the start of it.

Saturday arriving to the track was different. The security had definitely lessened, and coming in realising that it had was a kick in the teeth. But he had to concentrate and work, as much as he’d rather do anything else. Two days till they were on holiday. Two days. They could do it. He was gonna get a good result and decent points and then he and Emmy were going to Lake Como for a strictly clothing optional holiday and he couldn’t wait.

Practice was shit. There was no easy way around it, no way to make it sound better than it was. It fucking sucked and he hated that it did. He hated that every time he thought he was improving he wasn’t, that he was stuck in a tractor of a car that was worse than he was promised and maybe he’d made a mistake. Maybe he shouldn’t have left Renault, maybe he should have been in the blue and pink Alpine instead. Then the bullshit wouldn’t have happened.

The anger fuelled him as he made his way upstairs to his driver room. He was tired and pissed off and fed up. What he thought was a good decision for his career had fucked him and more importantly it had fucked Em over. He never wanted to see her like that again. Ever.

Emmy was sitting on the couch upstairs, her head jolting up as he arrived in wearing his race suit. Not even seeing her calmed him fully and he knew she could tell.

“What’s wrong?”

“Guess.” She stood up and he wrapped his arms around her, feeling himself ease up on everything. She was there and it was going to be ok.

“What do you need, Danny?”

“I don’t even know.”

“Ok, rephrase. What do you need from me? What do you need to get it out?” She leaned up and kissed him and Dan caught her lips, pushing her against the wall as they made out. She was perfect. Absolutely perfect. He could feel the way that she pushed against him, her hand gripping the back of his neck.

“I think I just need to fuck you against this wall, you know that? Make you scream and have the whole paddock know this is exactly where you belong. Right here with me. But I’ve to change and go to another fucking meeting. Much less fun than what I want.” He could see the way she shivered at his words and he completely knew if he moved his hands she’d be there with him. Instead he just watched her swallow and look up.

“I’m not saying no. I’m saying not here and now.”

“You deserve better than that.”

“Danny when we get back to the hotel I want you to push me against the wall and fuck me, understood?”

His brain short circuited. Emmy was asking him. Emmy. His Emmy who before was too afraid to tell him she hadn’t had an orgasm because when they started sleeping together she thought she’d be left high and dry without one. Asking him to fuck her exactly how she wanted with no thought for anything else? He was a lucky, lucky man.

“You are amazing.” He pecked her lips one last time before just holding her. He didn’t want to let go. He didn’t want to say goodbye and go to engineering and stretch out and everything. He wanted to spend time with his girl away from the world. But he changed his clothes and went downstairs, kissing Em goodbye before he left.

The meeting was boring, getting told to protect Lando off the starting line, as if there was no chance he could make it off himself. He’d won seven races, he could beat Lando off the start line. Even with this car. He knew he could. Finally it was time to start stretching and getting ready, Michael holding out tennis balls and helping him prep.

“You need to concentrate, you’ve got a good chance this weekend.” His trainers words were quiet but Dan could hear the full force of what he meant in them.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I mean you need to clear your head, mate. Worrying about Em isn’t gonna change anything.”

“Oh fuck you.” He stepped back, shaking his head while flapping his arms out to loosen them. “I’m focused on driving, that’s what matters. I have a life too.”

“I’m just saying.”

The pit lane was about to open and he stepped back, staying out of the camera view. Netflix were with them that weekend to make it worse and he had to keep a smile on his face when he didn’t want to. Em was at the stairs up to his driver room, smiling at him and quickly kissing his cheek.

“Drive fast, be safe, I’ll see you at the checkered flag. You’ve got this, Danny.” He squeezed her hand before letting go, desperate for the words to be right. It was going to happen. It had to.

Going back to the garage he zipped up his suit and ignored his name being called. Nobody spoke to him until he was in the car after Em did, it was his rule. As he stepped into the car the music changed to Stayin’ Alive, Dan looking around.

“This DJ should get fucking shot though!” He called out, staring at the team. Seriously? This bullshit again. But when he put his helmet on he forced it out of his head, determined not to hear it. He was gonna do this. He was gonna qualify well.

The start felt like a dream, and the fact that he kept going even with the touch with Pierre was important. Somehow he ended up behind Max and he wasn’t sure what had happened until Tom came over the radio.

“Good job Dan, P3. Lando’s just behind and will protect.”

Monza was fun to drive. Every moment of it was fun, the swooping curves and fast flowing corners leading to the straight where he let the throttle fly. He knew he wouldn’t beat Max, but that moment going around the parabolica knowing he was third was beautiful. The screaming of the fans, Tom congratulating him in his ear, he’d fucking done it. He’d come third in the sprint and yeah maybe it wasn’t an official podium but he’d done it and he could be proud of that. He had to be.

Seeing everyone cheering for him meant everything, Em standing with Blake’s arm around her grinning and he wanted to kiss her in front of the world. She was right there but he just grinned. It was everything.

After the interviews he was on his way back to the garage when Max stopped him with a wide smile. The paddock had cleared and it wasn’t unusual for them to walk together.

“I’m going to fight you, but if you get the start I’ll hold Lewis back.” Dan stopped and stared at the younger man, raising an eyebrow.

“Max, what?”

“If you beat me. Only if, and I’m going to fight for it. But if you do I’ll hold Lewis off for you to get the win. We both know you’re good enough for it.” Max smiled and Dan replied with one, looking at his former teammate. Sometimes he regretted leaving Red Bull more than he could ever admit. It was the right move to spread his wings, but he missed the support he used to have.

“Don’t tell Christian you said that.”

“Christian would be glad if you won and I came second. Better if I win and you come second, but he still likes you. Stop by some time, Daniel. You won’t be run away unless you try to look at our data.”

“Ah Maxy, you know me too well!” He grinned and turned into his garage, immediately welcomed by applause and cheering. It had really happened, and it was glorious.

After a stupid number of meetings and discussions they were finally ready to leave. Em was tired, her feet trudging alongside him until he bent down.

“C’mon, hop up.”

“What?” She asked, Dan indicating for her to get on his back.

“The paddock is empty, nobody’s around. Piggyback to the car, c’mon.” She held on and he walked down while talking to Michael and Blake, Em pushing a kiss to the back of his neck every few steps. He knew she knew what she was doing and he squeezed the back of her thighs, making his girl tense slightly as they walked. It wasn’t long back to the hotel and heading to bed to relax. Or in his case get all of the adrenaline out of his system.

They didn’t even do the mock of having Em go into the room that was supposed to be hers, instead he pulled her into their room, bags dropped just inside the door as it was kicked shut. Em was right there with him, her arm around him until he pinned her against the bathroom door. It was his hand in her hair to pull her head back as he trailed kisses along her jaw. It held her still as his knee split her legs and ran up to push the seam of her jeans against her. She gasped into their kiss as he held onto her.

“What did I promise you I was gonna do tonight?”

“F-fuck me against the wall.” Her words were gasps as his free hand was everywhere, teasing and pinching. It was easy to get her shirt off, exposing the pretty blue sheer lace bra. He couldn’t help himself, bending down to lick at her nipple through the barely there fabric.

“Danny…please…” she groaned and he loved every noise she made. Clothes went everywhere as he lifted her up, pulling the matching underwear down and settling her onto the barely used desk. Her legs were spread as he stood between them, sucking marks into her skin while he made his way to his ultimate destination.

Any man who wouldn’t eat his girl out was a coward as far as Dan was concerned. It was one of his favourite things to do. Em’s hair running through his curls and pulling on them, his fingers and lips and tongue working to bring her to the edge. If he was feeling particularly mean he’d leave her right there for a few moments and watch his girl beg him to move.

Tonight though he wanted to ruin her. He wanted to leave her boneless and well fucked and knowing that he was the one who did this with her. He’d leave it all behind if it meant that his Emmy was happy and he was going to slowly prove that to her.

It didn’t take long for him to feel her first orgasm come up, Em grabbing his hair and biting her lip as he took his mouth away to look up at her.

“I want to hear you. I’m the one who makes you feel like this, let me hear you. C’mon.” Her moans got louder as he dove back in, his fingers hitting the spot he knew was her everything. Once he was satisfied with the hickey he’d bitten into her inner thigh Dan moved back to her clit. He kept licking at her clit while she came, desperate to taste everything he could. It was just them in that hotel room and he was desperate for everything.

When Emmy finally stopped shaking he stood up, watching how she was flushed down her chest. She was absolutely fucking perfect.

“You ok, Baby?” He asked, leaning in to kiss her and hold onto her.

“I’m good. I promise. But you promised me a wall, Mr Ricciardo. Gonna make good on your promise?” She was grinning up at him and Dan stood, pulling her off the desk and her legs wrapping around his hips. His lips met with hers as he got them to the wall, pushing Em against it to give them more support. His fingers grabbed her hips as he finally slid into her, watching as Em looked up at him with wide eyes.

“All mine, Emmy. You’re all mine and I’m gonna make sure you know it.” His hips set a blistering pace against her and he watched as her fingers slid to where they were joined, feeling the way she tightened around him as between his pace and her fingers she came to another orgasm. She was harder to hold up after this one, tiredness taking over but he needed another.

“Third place today so I want to see three orgasms. Can you do it for me? Gonna give me that third so I can see my pretty girl? You can do it Baby, I’ve got you.”

Instead of keeping her there he took steps back towards the bed, still inside Em as he set them down carefully. His girl was right there in his lap riding him and she felt so perfect. He watched her move her hips carefully, suddenly realising how hard he’d been pushing her. There was the start of marks and bruises along her boobs and stomach and Dan moved his hand away, looking at her.

“I’m good. Danny, I’m good, I promise. If I wasn’t I’d have told you to stop. But you told me you were gonna fuck me hard against the wall and I wanted it. And right now I want you to tell me what you like.”

He looked into Em’s eyes and saw the absolute truth of what she was saying, even though part of his brain didn’t fully get it. They were rough, they’d go further kink wise than they intended sometimes, but not like this much. He knew Emmy could see the unsureness in his face and he watched as she picked up his hand and put it at her neck. It was their favourite thing in bed, and he used the feeling of comfort he knew it gave her to keep going. If she wasn’t sure she’d have called red and stopped him.

“Gonna be my good girl? Gonna let me watch you ride me and put on a show? Is that what my Emmy wants to do tonight?” He didn’t have to thrust, his hand keeping Em steady and feeling her move under him. She looked so perfect like that, chest bouncing as he watched her fuck herself on him. His perfect Emmy. He was so close to blurting everything out but not now, not till they were alone. He couldn’t do it during sex that was just cruel. He needed to do it when they had no distractions.

“Please Danny. Please. Make me feel good.”

“Such a greedy girl for me. Do you deserve another orgasm? Are you my good girl who gets another?” She nodded desperately as she bounced up and down, Dan pulling her lips closer to him.

“What are you, Emmy? Tell me and we’ll see.”

“I’m yours. All yours, Danny. You’re the only one who makes me feel this good. Please let me feel good.”

He could never deny her, pulling her in for a kiss as his fingers went straight to her clit. Between his thrusts, her bouncing, and his fingers she came in less than a minute, Dan following her straight over. He held her as aftershocks went through her body, Em’s head buried in his shoulder while he rubbed her back, unwilling to slip out of her. That meant the moment was gone and he wanted every second of it. He wanted Emmy in all the ways that he could have her. He was so fucking far gone it terrified him. But he was so blissfully happy.

Eventually they had to move, Dan pushing a soft kiss to her forehead as she lifted off him. He hurried to the bathroom to wet a cloth before coming back to clean Emmy up. She was pouting as he did and he couldn’t help but press a kiss to her to wipe it off her face before she went into the bathroom. While she was gone it was a quick call to room service for a strawberry pana cotta and a small cheesecake to be delivered. Dan slipped a robe on to answer the door, clearing their clothes away. He was delighted that he hadn’t actually ripped Em’s underwear getting them off her. One good thing.

When there was a knock on the door he answered with a smile and took the plates while giving a tip. Just as he had them settled on a table Em came out of the bathroom, showered with her hair tied up.

“You doing ok?” He asked, pulling her in for a kiss and running his hands over her.

“Yeah. I think I need some cuddles though.”

“And sugar. I got you dessert. Don’t tell anyone about my cheesecake.”

He shared his cheesecake with her and got bites in return before they curled up in bed together. He didn’t know how, but somehow she was fast asleep against him in about an hour. Emmy’s breathing evened out and he watched her sleep as the bruises he’d left on her chest were darkening. She always grinned every time she spotted a new mark he’d left on her and he hoped this time was the same. Whatever magic was there he didn’t want it to end. But sleep came calling and he had a race to drive the next day.

Em was the one who woke him up the next morning. Her kisses were nicer than his alarm clock, Dan’s hands immediately on her back and pulling her up. He heard her groan, opening his eyes to look at her.

“You ok?”

“Yeah, just sore. It’s good sore, Danny. I promise.” He raised an eyebrow and she laughed. “Honestly. I’m fine. You worked me good last night and every part of it was perfect.” She leaned down to kiss him and Dan smiled into the kiss, chasing Emmy’s lips as she got up.

“You need to shower and I need to get dressed. C’mon Mister Front Row, it’s going to be great. I have faith in you.”

That was all he needed to hear to get out of bed. It was one last kiss to Em before he went into the bathroom to shower. He nearly convinced her for five more minutes of cuddling before they had to get ready but he didn’t get away with it. Instead he showered while she got ready, putting on a McLaren shirt and jeans to be dressed. Once he was done he came out to find Emmy ready to go and he stopped in his tracks.

She was in skinny jeans and vans like usual, but every single part of her dripped his. Her three necklace hanging from her neck, the earrings with three stars he bought her. Her entire outfit was clothes he’d given her as presents and he was nearly sure if he checked her underwear was too. She was a dream and did he really have to leave for the track? It’d be fine to do the race without him. Who’d care?

Instead he pulled her in for a hug and a murmured “thank you” to Em, looking as she smiled up at him.

“For what?”

“For being you and amazing. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Walking into the circuit felt different that morning and he didn’t know why. Things were good and he was going to do his best. He was going to be on that podium no matter what. He could do it.

The time before getting in the car was a blur. He had no idea. He wanted to soak in the moments but he couldn’t, he was focusing on driving. He could drive this place blindfolded. He could do it.

Putting on his suit and boots he took a deep breath before heading downstairs. Em caught him just before he went into the garage. It was another kiss on the cheek and telling him to be fast and safe, but Dan kissed her properly for the briefest of seconds.

“You’ve got this. I’m gonna see you at that barrier.”

He walked in and picked up his balaclava to put it on before getting in the car. But before he could step in Zak caught him, an arm around his shoulder. Nobody ever did that. Emmy was the last person he talked to before he got in the car, always. She was his good luck charm. Even Michael knew not to talk to him when Em had talked to him. He’d get in and connect his earbuds for the radio and then he’d talk to Tom.

“Good luck. It’d be good to have a trophy to show around the MTC on Tuesday along with that medal, wouldn’t it?”

“Tuesday?” His blood ran cold.

“Yeah, we need to celebrate your sprint medal. Did Nicole from PR not tell you yet? Full day in the MTC then. Your calendar was empty so it looked good.”

His calendar was empty because they’d removed Em from access. Without his girl there to block the days out then its looked free. Which meant that their vacation was gone because he had to be in fucking Woking instead.

“See you at the flag!” He wanted to punch Zak’s fucking face. He was so angry he wanted to scream. But instead he got into the car, settling down and putting his helmet on and connecting it to his HANS. The radio connected in while the guys strapped him into place and he had the go ahead to bring the car to the grid. Bring it in, get out, let everything happen.

He had to blank his mind out. It’s was the visualisation crap that Michael beat into his head that he kept going with.

Finally it was the anthems and he bopped along to the Italian one, the texts of good luck from his parents floating in the back of his head.

Waiting for the lights to go out was terrifying. Seeing the five red lights made him nearly forget everything that he’d known for so long, but as soon as they blinked off he was gone. Never ask him how he made it around those first corners but pretty soon he was leading the fucking race.

It was the fastest race of his life. The only time he worried was when the safety car backed everyone up after Max and Lewis crashed, the realisation that he didn’t have Max backing things up worrying him. But he forced himself to stay calm and pushed through, Tom giving him advice on the radio. It was obvious Lando had been ordered not to attack but Dan didn’t care, too focused on making it to the flag.

“YEAH P1! You bloody did it!” Tom was celebrating over the radio, Dan screaming his lungs out. He did it. He fucking did it. Fastest lap and first place and fuck it he did it.

“Deep down I knew this was gonna come, so…thanks. Thanks for having my back. And for anyone who thought I left, I never left. Just moved aside for a while.”

Pulling into that beautiful number one podium spot felt so sweet. He won. He actually won. It took a moment to realise what was happening as he shut the car off, pulling the steering wheel out and standing atop the halo. He fucking did it.Em was there at the barrier, sandwiched between Blake and Michael and he could see tears streaming down his girl’s face in pride and he grinned behind the helmet before tapping his chest three times, watching as she realised.

The jog to the team was sweet, jumping into them in celebration. He hugged Michael and Blake before Em wrapped her arms around him. All he wanted to do was pull his helmet off and kiss her in front of everyone but that wasn’t fair. He couldn’t. So instead he let go and realised she’d been FaceTiming his parents for the race. He took off his helmet and grinned at the camera, a murmured “I love you” escaping before he got pulled back to be weighed and interviewed by DC, a grin on the Scot’s face and the promise of a drink at some point once the cameras were switched off.

He was on the podium. On the top step in Monza. He’d done that and it was a heady feeling to be back up there, the Tifosi cheering because while he might not be a Ferrari driver he was half Australian and for them that was a big moment.

The chaos of interviews and discussions and debriefs and eating were constant, he didn’t have a second to himself for hours. It wasn’t until nearly nine that they were finally done, Zak sending him away to get changed before the party that had been hastily organised for the team in celebration. He bounded up the stairs two at a time, spotting Em in the room before she’d even realised he was there. She stood, grinning and pulling him in for a kiss.

“I am so proud of you. So fucking proud of you. You did that and you proved it to everyone and you are amazing. Well done, Danny.” He pulled her for a hug, pressing a kiss to the top of her head as he got the courage to say that they had to cancel everything.

“I need to get in touch with the villa to-“

“I called them earlier to cancel. Turns out the owner is a F1 fan and had put two and two together for when you rented it and your surname. He said congratulations and to call back whenever to rent it out again, there’s no problem. And I cancelled the flight back from Milan to London on Friday. Anything else you need?”

To tell her that he’s completely in love with her. But Emmy deserved better than that. She deserved better than when he was still sweaty after a race because he’d only had a rinse off shower to get the champagne off. She deserved a big gesture, but one somewhere private because if he did it in public she’d be too embarrassed. Just because this plan was ruined didn’t mean it was all bad.

Maybe Austin, the two of them in a city they loved. They were staying back an extra night or two to enjoy it. Or at the farm over Christmas when they got to go home together. After a day of seeing their family. That would be the right way to tell Emmy everything. He’d get down on one knee in their living room with her ring and she’d say yes, he knew her.

“You know, right?” His voice was thick. The tears he wanted to let out were close but he couldn’t start crying or he wouldn’t stop.

“I know. You know too?”

“I really know. C’mon. There’s a party in a couple of hours, let’s go change and shower and maybe nap for an hour.”

He pulled a clean shirt on before picking up his bag, holding his hand out for Emmy to take. At that time of night the paddock was deserted and he didn’t care who saw. If he didn’t get to tell his girl everything this week then he definitely got to hold her fucking hand leaving. He didn't care about the McLaren cameras in his face. He'd already had to give up enough with her this weekend, they didn't get this too.

-

Taglist.

@dr3lover @sabrinaselina55 @majx00 @tall-tanned-tattoo @lovingdennishauger @lauehr @msolbesg @f1medlife @idkwtfimdoing2 @leclercsbae @hiphopdancer101universe @mehrmonga @lewispool @saintandrea-droidsmuggler @coldheartedmar @sugarbabygirlofdaddy @nonsensical-nonce @a-distantdreamer @tita010 @leslizzle @javden @mloyer @magical-imagination-kgp @danarysstormborn @kakorrhaphiphobia @g-l-o-b-e-w-h-o-r-e @elizanav @neiich @luckyladycreator2 @scotlynaurora @belledawnidk

#call it what you want fic #daniel riccardo x reader #daniel ricciardo imagine #f1 imagine #formula 1 imagine #formula one imagine #formula one fanfic #daniel ricciardo oneshot #f1 oneshot #formula 1 oneshot #ciwyw writing #daniel ricciardo fic #daniel ricciardo fanfic #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #formula one oneshot #formula 1 fic #formula 1 fanfic #formula one fanfiction #formula one fic

[queenshelby]

Our Little Secret (Part 13)

Pairing: Dark! Cillian Murphy x Virgin! Reader

Warning: Infidelity, Brief Mention of Stillbirth

Notes: This will not be a love story. It will be dark, twisted and kinky. Cillian is portrayed as totally off cannon.

Two weeks had passed and you had almost moved on with your life which did not involve your family. 

Your mother had kicked you out of her own house following your tryst with Cillian. But as luck would have it, your cousin Lukas had offered you a place to stay after Emma's parents too would not allow you to remain at their family home for more than a week.

You had to find a job quickly to sustain yourself and fortunately, you managed to secure employment at a local bookstore. The hours were flexible, and they paid decently, making your living situation somewhat manageable under these circumstances.

School, however, had to give way to your new lifestyle and you chose to transfer to college in the evening in an attempt to finish your education.

As far as Cillian was concerned, you had not heard from him since that afternoon, leaving you in a state of limbo regarding your relationship status with him.

From the local papers, you since learned that he had finally left Danielle and was now publicly fighting for custody of his son Max who the columns claimed was not his actual son at all.

Yet none of this mattered as you sat there staring blankly into space, haunted by memories and regret. Overwhelmed by guilt and confusion, you tried to block out the past few months - how you became entangled in such a mess with no future, only moments spent locked away from the world. But, it wasn’t easy. It felt as though the entire universe conspired to punish you for daring to experience passion beyond societal norms, yet you continued searching deep inside yourself for answers that wouldn't come easily.

You were pregnant with Cillian's child and an abortion was not currently something you could afford emotionally nor financially, forcing you to confront your reality alone. For the first time in years, the choices you made seemed to echo hollowly in your ears as you attempted to navigate this complex web of deceit, betrayal, and self-discovery.

"Em, I do not know what to do," you admitted honestly, breaking down in tears as she visited you, just like she did every day after you finished work. 

Emma pulled you close, offering comfort as she held you tight.

"We're going to figure this out together," she assured you reassuringly, wiping away your tears. "But I honestly think that you need to tell Cillian," Emma added cautiously. "He has a right to know."

Her advice struck a chord in you, causing you to sit upright and nod thoughtfully.

"I asked him if he could meet, about a week ago, and he never got back to me, Em!" you said, feeling worthless and unwanted.

"He is going through a lot himself and he doesn't know about you carrying his child. Maybe you should try and give him a call again?" Emma interjected, attempting to mediate.

Despite Emma's suggestion, you remained hesitant, unsure whether reaching out to Cillian was the right decision. Nevertheless, you decided to pick up your phone and call him regardless of the consequences.

After a series of rings, someone else picked up on the other end – a stranger.

“Hello, can I speak to Cillian please?” you asked politely, trying hard to maintain composure amidst growing anxiety.

"Who am I speaking to?" replied the unfamiliar voice, curiosity evident in her tone.

”This is Y/N and I really need to speak with him,” you introduced yourself, taking a deep breath in preparation for what might follow. “Is Cillian available, please?” you begged and, just after you did, there was silence on the line for several seconds before the woman spoke up again.

"So, you are the homewrecker?" she snarled bitterly, anger radiating from her voice.

You flinched upon hearing those harsh words directed at you. You didn't expect the person answering Cillian's phone to actually know who you were, but then again, you did not know about the woman on the other line either.

"Listen, my brother isn't available. Don't call again. Please don't bother him anymore," came the venomous reply. Taken aback by the hostility, you couldn't understand why she reacted so aggressively when you hadn't even spoken poorly of Cillian. After a momentary pause, you found your voice.

"Actually, it's important we talk, whether you like it or not," you stated resolutely, ignoring the sharp edge in her voice. There was another brief silence followed by a mocking laughter that broke the air.

"Listen sweetheart, Cillian is going through legal proceedings against his wife, Danielle, because of you. He should not be speaking to you and if you call this phone again, I will provide you with a cease-and-desist letter on my brother's behalf. Any further contact will be considered as harassment, " she threatened ominously making you realise that the woman on the other end of the line was not only Cillian's sister, but also his solicitor, handling his custody case. 

You recalled having met her at the funeral a few weeks ago. Her name was Alison and she worked at one of the largest law firms in Dublin. 

As the conversation progressed, it became apparent that she despised you with an intensity that took you off guard. To make matters worse, she insisted you ceased communication with Cillian altogether. This was problematic considering she served as both Cillian's attorney and sister, putting her in a unique and potentially influential position.

You struggled to comprehend the full extent of your predicament until now. How were you supposed to inform Cillian about the child growing inside you without incurring the wrath of his sister?

It appeared impossible. Nonetheless, you had to reach out somehow, eventually, and hope for understanding from both sides despite their conflicted history.

As days turned into weeks, you grew increasingly anxious and restless, worrying constantly about how you were going to break the news to Cillian as the dire three-month mark drew nearer and you had yet another appointment with a local social worker to discuss your situation.

She offered you both, a community funded loan to carry out the procedure you needed or the option of putting you in touch with an adoption agency so that, further down the track, you could give up your child if you desired to do so.

Although it may seem cruel, it seemed practical and logical in light of your situation and, in the end, even Emma agreed with you on that front. The idea that you could choose whether or not to become a parent appealed to your desire for control over your destiny. However, this was easier said than done. Having a baby meant drastically altering your course forever, but you also knew that, not having the baby, might cause you regret. 

The choice loomed large, casting its shadow over your daily existence. You frequently found yourself pondering the gravity of your options while walking along the quiet streets surrounding your temporary residence late at night. You often stopped in your tracks, contemplating your fate as a result of your irresponsible actions.

Life seemed determined to play itself out according to the chaos you created. Every passing day brought you closer to facing the inevitable truth and this truth was now something you had to confront by yourself. Without the man who caused all this by your site. 

Tags:

@sunbeamseas @saint-ackerman @oatmealisweird @naxxsstuff @amanda08319 @r-m-cidnah @elysiannook @cillshot @infireddabdab @tastycakee @harrysbestiee @lilybabe22 @adalynlowell @henrywintersdearestgirl @ietss @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @ryiamarie @axionn

@heidimoreton @nela-cutie @futurecorps3 @delishen @nosebleeds-247 @thirteenis-myluckynumber @gills-lounge @hjmalmed @lost-fantasy @tiredkitten @sidechrisporn @smallsoulunknown @charqing-qing @hopefulinlove @aporiasposts @shycrybaby @me-and-your-husband @hjmalmed @lacontroller1991 @galxydefender @aporiasposts

@galxydefender @hunnibearrr @saint-ackerman @lunyyx @gentlemonsterjennie1 @ihavealotoffandomssorry @nadloves @lost-fantasy @nolucesn@mcavoy-girl @hjmalmed @bloodybagels @obeyme4life @richiesgroupie @blushykiss @tatumrileyslover @teawithsatanx @orijanko @rhaenyra4ever @xcinnamonmalfoyx @budugu @nadloves @kmc1989 @bloodybagels @obeyme4life @richiesgroupie @forgottenpeakywriter

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy x you #cillian murphy x y/n #cillian fanfic #cillianmurphy #cillian x fem!reader #cillian murphy fic #cillian murphy fanfic #cillian murphy fanfiction

[boldlyvoid]

Dear Eddie

Eddie Munson x best friend reader

Summary: a summer fling between best friends ends in heartbreak

Warnings: angst with a happy ending, friends to lovers, implied sexual content, secret pregnancy, birth, post-partum depression, leaving a baby on someone's doorstep, work accidents (Wayne getting stitches)

Part one | part two

Word count: 6.8k

He hasn’t had a lot of visitors at his new place… not since the ground was patched up and the insurance sent him a new trailer but it wasn’t the same. His boy wasn’t with him anymore, the place was bigger, there was room for him too, but he wasn’t there. 

Eddie’s been gone almost 4 months now… and it hurts just as bad every day. Especially today, he doesn’t want to get up, but there’s a knock at the door and he’d hate to ignore it if it was Dustin coming for a talk or a hug or just a place to escape to. 

When Wayne opens the trailer door, however, he finds a baby wrapped up in blankets, placed in a cardboard box, perfectly content to be there. 

He looks up, staring down the road for any glimpse of the person who left it there. He walks past the baby and runs towards the end of his driveway, noticing a girl walking as fast as she can out of the trailer park. 

“Hey!!” He calls after her but she doesn’t respond, she starts to run instead but she can’t, not well. 

He can tell she’s hurt, something’s wrong with her… she’s sobbing as she stumbles and hits the gravel, hard. Wayne is quickly at her side, “hey, are you alright?”

“I’m sorry,” she pushes him away, “I can’t keep him.” She tries to stand up again, limbs weak and face stained with tears, “I have to go.” 

“No, please stay, talk to me?” He begs. “Who’s baby is that? Why did you leave him with me?” 

“Ed— Eddie,” she chokes on her sobs and accepts Wayne's support. She buries her face in his shirt and holds him tight. “I can’t do it without him. I can’t raise his son alone…” 

“Oh, god,” he holds her close, rubbing her back as he realizes who she is. “You’re Y/N, aren’t you?” 

She nods, he feels it, but she doesn’t pull away. “I had to hear about it on the fucking news… I was so pregnant and then he was gone…” 

“Come live with me,” Wayne offers. “I have another room with all his things in it, we can get a crib, I’ll help, but this baby needs his mom. Eddie would want his son to have a mother.” 

“I know,” she pulls away and wipes her tears. “I’m sorry… I just didn’t know what to do?” 

“No one ever knows,” he tries not to sob. “I’ve been so lost without him… but he’d want us to raise his boy, I know that.” 

“He didn’t even know I was pregnant… he hadn’t been up to see me in forever and I couldn’t tell him over the phone cause I knew he’d just drop out and run to me but I— I was going to come and see him for spring break, I had a whole plan on how I was going to tell him and then it was too late.” 

He rubs her back gently, “I know, it’s tough. I went to work one day and came home to a dead girl and no Eddie.”

“I can’t imagine what you’re going through, either. He loved you a lot,” she reminds him. Knowing all too well the relationship between Eddie and his uncle and just how pure and precious it was. 

“Let's go back to the trailer, I wanna meet this little guy,” he turns back to the house, baby still in a box on his doorstep, not crying, just chilling there on the front step. “What’s his name?” 

“James, like the lead singer of Metallica… I thought he’d like it if he was here,” she admits, so caught up on the fact he’s gone. She really thinks he’s dead and not just missing. 

“He’s not dead,” Wayne whispers. “He’s just not here.” 

“I know but the police technically consider him dead and they’re not even looking anymore—

“Because the government told ‘em to stop,” he keeps his voice low. “I’ll tell you more inside,” he doesn’t want to explain in the open, the fewer people that know his business the better. 

“Wha—“ she just follows him quicker, up to the trailer where he picks up the box and brings both her and James into the main room. “Where is he?” 

Wayne sighs as he sets the box down on the coffee table and takes the little guy out. He’s big, for a tiny baby he’s very long and chunky and healthy from what he can see. Under his little hat he has the cutest dusting of dark curly hair, he can’t be more than 4 months old… she must’ve had him whence found out. 

“Um… can I ask you some more things before I tell you the truth?” 

She nods, “of course… I wrote you a letter, it’s in the box,” she takes James from him and holds him close, kissing his little head as she snuggles him close. “I didn’t want to abandon him… I just heard about the settlement and I know how much Eddie loved you like a dad and I knew he’d be safe with you and I— I—

“You were struggling,” he gets it, taking the note from the box and skimming through everything she wanted to say to him. “I don’t blame you…”

“I don’t have any of my things here, I was just going to catch the bus back but if you were serious?” 

“We’ll get your things later,” he agrees with a smile. “There’s a lot I can’t tell you, but I guess it starts during the earthquake… something big happened, something I don’t understand, all I know is he fell through the cracks in the earth and got hurt and he was exposed to something and they’ve got him quarantined somewhere I can’t go,” his voice gets louder the more he explains, angrier now than when the men in black first came to tell him about it all. 

Her eyes grow impossibly large, and she has to sit so she doesn’t drop the baby as she stares off into space, “how?” 

“I don’t know… they don’t tell me nothin’ but Eddie’s friends said he got hurt trying to save the world, so I know it’s not for nothing,” he simplifies it, it’s what he’s said to himself a million times to make it seem okay. 

Her shoulders drop as she melts into the couch, it’s all too much to even fathom. “He didn’t die?” 

“He didn’t die.”

—

When she found out she was pregnant, Eddie was just an old friend who visited her every few months. Last month he visited to play a show with his band, it was the first time he got a real standing ovation, the first time he looked at her like more than a friend from kindergarten… the first time he slipped into her bed and into her and then seemingly, out of her life. 

She saw him twice after getting pregnant, both times she could hide it well, unable to tell him the truth in fear their friendship would end in burning flames. He stopped coming around after the first trimester when school started again and he was trying to graduate.

That’s when the first letter came. 

Dear Y/N,

School sucks, I miss you, I wish I could come up and see you again soon but I promised Wayne this is the last year I’m freeloading on him. 

I need to graduate, and honestly think if I came to visit you I wouldn’t be doing a lot of homework. Not since the last few times I’ve been to see you have all ended up the same way… It’s hard to stay away from you, but if I came back I don’t know if I’d be able to leave you again? I hope you truly know how much you mean to me and how much I wish I could say this in person without chickening out… But, I love you. 

I love you a lot, I can’t wait to see you again soon. Maybe Thanksgiving or Christmas? Let me know what you can do, maybe you could even come here? I don’t know. I just know I miss you.  

Love from Eddie &lt;3

She called him that night, and they talked for hours about feelings and truths they never shared with each other… all except the pregnancy. She brought that up slowly but he never caught on. 

He wanted kids one day, she knew that from the way he talked about Dustin, Lucas and Mike, he would be a good dad if he had kids… he knew she wanted to be a mom and she also knew his relationship with his own mother and how unfortunately short it was cut. They both wanted a family, and she listened to him talk about his childhood and how great Wayne was, how much he changed his mind on what a dad truly is… they both had shit dads and yet they turned out pretty okay. 

He couldn’t see her for thanksgiving, her parents were mad that he got her pregnant and even more angry that she didn’t tell him yet while at the same time they were grateful. They wanted her to never tell him, put the baby up for adoption in the spring at the end of her semester of college and go back to school as if nothing happened in the fall. But she didn’t want to do that. She wanted this baby, she wanted a family with Eddie, she was going to tell him at Christmas and they gave her an ultimatum. 

She was cut off the moment she left their house after that awful dinner. 

Her current semester was already paid for which gave her until January to get her act together and find a new place when the school kicked her out for not paying the winter semester fees. So she got a job, she made friends, and she went to single mom support groups that introduced her to the good food banks and how to get good coupons for all the baby things she’d need. She was even gifted some hand-me-down items. 

Eddie still called her every day and wrote her the occasional letter. He was super excited to come to visit for Christmas, she was going to be so pregnant she wouldn’t have to say much when he saw her, she just hoped it all went well.

When he didn’t show up for Christmas her heart broke a bit, she called the trailer 3 times and no one picked up, she called the hospital to make sure there wasn’t an accident that he was brought in for… nothing. She sat in her bed and worried with her hand on her stomach and a tiny roast chicken for two cooking in her oven, alone on Christmas. 

He called a day later, apologizing profusely but there was an accident at the lab, he spent the night beside Wayne in the hospital, holding his hand as he slept. It was a head injury, they had to cut his hair and sew his head back up, he was going to be out of work for a few weeks, and Eddie couldn’t leave him to take care of himself. 

She understood perfectly. It just sucked that another thing got in the way of her telling him the truth. 

She got a new apartment at the start of January, it was a low-rent place meant for moms and their kids… the distant sounds of babies crying made a very unpleasant ambiance but at least it was preparing her for what was to come. Alone or not, she was going to raise this baby to the best of her ability. She took a lamas class, she practiced her breathing, she had checkups every few weeks at planned parenthood and they were going to help her with her birth plan and apply for social assistance to help while she’s recovering and watching the baby. They assigned her a social worker, and she had free therapy, it was all really helpful while she went through it alone. 

On Valentines Day she came home to a bouquet of blue and yellow flowers sitting on her doorstep with a sweet note.

“I still love you so much, can we spend spring break together?” 

Spring break… it seemed so far away at the time and then it showed up in the blink of an eye. She turned on the TV that morning, struggling to angle the antenna to pick up any new channels to pass the time while she packed up to see the love of her life, the father of her child, the only person she’s thought about for the last 8 months… and longer if she really admitted that to herself. 

“Local girl's body was found in the Forest Hills Trailer park this morning, there’s no word on her identity or who the killer is. All we do know is foul play was involved and locals should be vigilant,” the reporter says, standing right in front of Eddie’s trailer. She’d know it anywhere. 

She called him, she called every Gareth Emmerson from the phonebook to find him, she even called Wayne’s work to see if she could reach him at all… nothing.

The TV is her only way of getting any information. Another boy died the following morning, back to back 8 am news reports suggested that Eddie was the one who did it, and if she knew his town, they were probably all hunting him by now… every fibre of her being wished he ran to her? If he was okay... if he was able to run… she wanted to help him and keep him safe and she knew he didn’t do it. There was no fucking way he did it! 

He was the sweet little boy who kissed her boo-boo’s better on the playground after Dean Barker pushed her down. He was the adorable teenager who bought her pads when they were hanging out and she randomly got her period. He was the gentile and considerate man who took in lost sheep without even thinking twice… he’s not a murderer. 

The earthquake rocked Hawkins the same day she was supposed to take the bus to go and see him. The helicopter footage showed the whole town in absolute disarray, the whole trailer park was practically sucked underground, the town hall was on fire, over 25 people died and then the worst fucking sentence to ever be spoken on television was said. 

“Edward Munson, the cult leader many accused of the horrific killings that happened here in Hawkins earlier this week is presumed dead, no one has seen him and with the growing death toll, local police don’t expect to. Back to you Janice.” 

“What?!” She throws the remote at the TV, “FUCK JANICE?!” She breaks down, sobbing, knowing she’ll never see him again and not a single soul gave a fuck. 

She spends almost a full 24 hours sobbing on the couch, holding her stomach for support, the baby inside her being the only piece of Eddie she had left. 

When her water breaks early, the doctors tell her it’s the stress she’s under, knowing something is wrong with her by the way she wouldn’t stop crying. Most women cried, it was completely normal, however, she was hysteric. She couldn’t even explain why, she ended up writing it down for one of the nurses. 

My boyfriend died.  

Yesterday.

She walked into the hospital alone. 

She wasn’t alone for long. 

She thought a lot about names, she considered everything from family names, both hers and his, to the names of things that mean a lot to them, songs, people, friends, and colours, she thought over everything. And yet the one name she keeps coming back to is Eddie’s middle name.

James.

Also, the lead singer of Metallica’s name, something Eddie found so cool that he shared with his favourite person, his idol… and now his son shared it with them both. 

She walked into the hospital alone. But she wasn’t alone for long, James Edward Munson, born March 29th, 1986, was a perfect little mirror of the boy she loved her whole life… and she was going to dedicate the rest of it loving their son. 

There are a few bumps in the road. Making money and watching a baby and trying to stay sane while working through grief is all really hard. So hard that she hops on the bus with James when he’s a little under 4 months old and almost leaves him with Eddie’s uncle… she couldn’t do it anymore, it was a lapse f judgement, it was her best option at the time, a silent cry for help that was answered in the best way possible. 

She moved in with Wayne full time in July ’86, she was able to stay home while he worked, she didn’t go many places except the grocery store, no one knew who she was or that Eddie was her baby’s father, she was a recluse in a town she never wanted to live. She saw him in everything, mostly in the kids wearing hellfire shirts walking home from school, and especially in their own son… she misses him so much it starts to kill her slowly and Wayne knows it. 

“You should introduce him to the boys,” Wayne suggests one morning while preparing James’s bottle, both of them sleepy wandering around the kitchen as James lightly whines in the other room, waiting for his breakfast. 

“Like Eddie’s friends?” 

“Yeah,” he gives her a sweet smile, holding a bottle in a boiling pot of water to heat up the cold breastmilk she stores in his fridge. “Dustin, Gareth, Jeff… they’d want to meet Eddie’s little boy… James needs some uncles.”

“Okay,” she takes a deep breath and crosses her arms, leaning against the counter as she waits for the bottle. “Do you think they know about me?” 

Wayne laughs, “yeah… how do you think I knew about what you two were?” 

“What were we?” She’s confused by that. “‘Cause to me, I was his friend and we slept together after high emotional nights and—

“You took his virginity,” Wayne cuts her off. 

“No, he took mine… he said he already—? What?”

“Oh, no,” Wayne keeps giggling, taking the bottle out of the water and testing the milk on his wrist. “He just didn’t wanna feel like a loser for not having sex until he was nearly 20, but yeah… you meant a lot to him and he loved you so much he knew if he went up to Indianapolis he’d never come 

“So thats why he got so weird,” she mumbles, taking the bottle and heading off to James’s room with Wayne in tow. “He sent me love letters and flowers and things…” 

“Sounds like him,” Wayne chuckles. 

“Morning, cutie,” she changes her tone when she sees James, picking him up from his crib and taking him to the rocking chair. His 7-month-old body barely fits comfortably in her arms anymore, he’s getting so big. He takes his bottle, he holds it himself and looks up at her with his big chocolate brown wonders. She runs her fingers through his little curls, he’s so much like his dad it hurt sometimes. “I love how much of him is in James…” 

“I know,” Wayne takes a knee beside her, looking at James just the same. “I hope he gets to meet his dad soon. I want him home.” 

“Me too…” 

—

With James held against her with one arm and his diaper bag slung over the other, she walks into the school after the bell rings and follows the instructions from the receptionist. Down the hall, past the washrooms and to the left there was a drama room, that’s normally where Dustin Henderson spent his time. She finds it easily, there’s a “game in session” notice on the door but she knows there hasn’t been enough time since the last bell for them to be too busy, so she walks in anyway. 

“Hello…?” She calls out. 

“Hey?” A young boy stands from the table to greet her. “Are you lost?” 

“Um, no, this is hellfire, right?” 

“It is…” another curly-headed boy comes up behind her, trying to get into the room. “What can we help you with?” 

“I’m Y/N… Eddie’s girlfriend?” She keeps her voice low, “or I was trying to be before all the shit went down here…” 

“The Y/N?” The kid behind her asks. 

“Yeah, that one,” she manages to laugh, “this is James, if you couldn’t put it together, Eddie is his daddy,” she bounces the baby a bit, making him smile as he grips onto her shirt and leans into her shoulder with a drooly smile. 

“I’m Lucas, that’s Dustin,” the first boy explains for them both, shocked but not speechless like Dustin. 

“Wayne mentioned how James needs some uncles, so I thought I’d come to meet you guys?” She makes sure it’s okay, “do Gareth and Jeff still go here?” 

“Yeah,” Dustin finally answers, leading her over to the table, right to Eddie’s old thrown. “Let’s get you a seat, he looks heavy… and he’s the rightful heir so…”  

“Prince James,” she teases her little guy, setting her bag down on the floor as more boys start to pour in. 

“Gareth, Jeff, this is Y/N and James… Eddie’s family,” Dustin explains, his voice low and sad, wishing more than anything he could tell them all the truth about where their friend was. 

“no way!” The boys light up and rush to the table. “He said you two slept together but—

“He didn’t know,” she shakes her head, cutting them off. “I never had a chance to tell him, I wanted to, believe me,” she forewarns. “But uh, yeah, this is little James. James, say hi to daddy’s friends.” 

The little boy waves slightly, shying away into his mom's side. “He’s slowly becoming more of a people person,” she laughs, holding him tightly and kissing his curly mop.

“How old is he?” 

“8 months,” she presses her lips together awkwardly, they knew how to do the math, they would all know. 

“You had him when he died?” Gareth is the first to pick it up. “You knew all that time and never told him?” 

She shakes her head, “no, I couldn’t. It’s not something you say over the phone to someone trying to graduate high school, now is it? If I told him he would’ve dropped everything to run to me, the band, this club, all of you, I wanted you to have him as long as possible.”

“Yeah, none of us got enough time with him,” Jeff sympathizes, placing a hand on Gareth’s arm. “But you’re right, Eddie would’ve done everything for you. What do you need? We’ll be here for you both now instead.” 

“Thank you,” she gives them a genuine, toothy, smile. “I’m living with Wayne, we’re still in the trailer park, I just wanted you in James’ life, I wanted him to have at least 1 cool uncle like how Eddie had Wayne… we’ve moved onto calling him gramps by the way.” 

“And he doesn’t hate it?” Dustin asks, shocked. “I’ve tried calling him pops and he thought it was weird.” 

“It is,” Lucas shoves him. 

“he loves it, now at least,” she can’t help but laugh. “James is still trying to say grandpa… can you say, papa?” He shakes his head and buries it back into her shirt. “I guess that’s a no.” 

“He’s adorable,” Gareth gets a little closer, squatting beside her so he can seem less tall and scary to the little baby. “Hi, James. My name is Gareth, your daddy used to call me Gare… I wouldn’t mind you calling me uncle Gare?” 

“He called you Gare-bear,” Jeff corrects, “call him uncle Gare-bear, please?” 

“he doesn’t really talk yet,” she laughs, feeling more at home than she has in a long time. Like Eddie was there with them, watching and smiling too… the room carried so much of his essence that it was hard not to feel him. 

God, she missed him. 

—

May 1988

“What do you mean she doesn’t live here?” 

“I’m sorry, Sir, Miss Y/L/N moved out almost 2 years ago now… I might still have her forwarding address?” 

“Please?” Eddie begged, following Y/N’s old landlord into the building and waiting for her at the threshold of her office, not wanting to intrude. 

“Her last address I was given is Trailer 13, Forest Hills Trailer park, Hawkins Indiana,” she hands him a copy of her address on paper and a small smile. “Something about moving in with her son's grandpa… I don’t know.” 

He tries to stay calm, feeling so fucking confused and out of the loop because who knocked her up and why was she living in his uncle's trailer park? He just takes it and thanks her, heading back out to the van the government supplied him with as an apology for keeping him locked up for 2 years to run tests on him… he was telling them the whole time that he’s healthy and fine and just wanted to go home, but they didn’t listen. The last thing they wanted was to send another monster back to Hawkins. 

With a haircut and lighter clothes, he’s been cleared of all charges and it's been suggested that he not go back to Hawkins for his own safety, but now he had no choice. 

He drives the 2-hour trip in under 1, speeding until he hits the town he spent most of his life in and abiding by the speed limits. He travels down newly paved roads, over patches in the ground he was once deep under and towards where his heart ran off to in the midst of the madness. 

He pulls up to a brand new trailer, nowhere can he see that ugly blue trailer he watched fade over the years under the sun. Behind a new truck, he parks his van and gets out, there are kids' toys all over the yard, evidence that she did have a kid, the windows are blocked by shutters and the door doesn’t have a screen he can spy through either. 

But he knocks anyway.

“Coming!!” He hears Wayne's voice and his heart stops.

The door swings open, and he’s holding a curly-headed little boy with a wide smile that drops the longer Wayne stares into his eyes, “Eddie?” 

“Hi,” he whispers, eyes welling with tears. “Where is she?” 

“Work, what are you doing here?” He changes the topic right away. “I thought you weren’t allowed to come home?” 

“They declared me not a risk to the general public,” he explains. “I would’ve called but I went to Indianapolis first to talk to Y/N cause I missed our last meet-up… turns out I missed a lot?” 

“Come in,” Wayne holds the door open for him, letting him into the trailer, it's big and clean and nice… “sorry for the mess.” 

“What mess?” He manages to laugh. “It’s nicer than when I was a kid… speaking of?” He points to the toddler in Wayne's arms, snuggled into his shoulder with his thumb in his mouth, scared of visitors as it would seem. 

“This is James,” he smiles, “James this is your daddy… ‘member the photos mommy shows you at bedtime? He just has short hair… he’s not scary, see?” Wayne walks over to him and sets his hand on his shoulder, shaking him as he presses his lips together and tries not to cry. 

The last thing they needed was to scare James. 

“Papa?” James whispers to Wayne, his grandpa. “Daddy?” He turns to Eddie that time, reaching out for him. 

“Yeah,” Wayne helps his little brain understand. “I’m papa, he’s daddy,” explaining further as he hands him over.

Eddie takes him in his arms, looking into his brown eyes and noticing everything about him that he got from himself and Y/N. “Hi, buddy?” He tries not to cry and scare him at all. “yeah… I’m your daddy.” 

James rests his head on eddies shoulder, cuddling into him, “you just caught his nap time,” Wayne explains. “You want to read him to sleep? Your old books are all still here.” 

“yeah... I just want to sit with him?” He tears up a bit, holding James as close as possible while being extra delicate with the toddler. “I have so many questions?” 

“Y/N gets home at 4,” he smiles. “She’ll tell you everything… I think she’s written you a letter every day since she move here since she found out you lived.” 

“Oh god,” he whispers, “she thought I died?” 

“for 4 months…” 

He closes his eyes and tries to stop himself from crying, he cradles the back of his son's head and presses his cheek to the soft baby curls on the top of his head. He smells like a baby, he’s soft and sweet and his and hers… “I love you so much,” he whispers. “I wish I came home sooner.” 

Wayne wraps his arms around the two of them, joining the hug because he just couldn’t take it anymore. He missed his boy so bad. “I love you.” 

“I’m not supposed to stay in Hawkins…” 

“So we move,” he replies in no time. “As long as we’re a family, we can be a family anywhere.” 

“Daddy?” James asks again, squished between the two men. “Ba?” 

“Oh,” Wayne pulls back, “he wants his bottle and to go to sleep… he’s big about schedules,” he teases with a laugh as he heads to the kitchenette. 

Eddie trades arms, holding the toddler on the other side and taking a moment to look at him with a sweet smile, “what books do you like, buddy?” 

“Trucks,” his eyes light right up, even with the sleepy sand gathering around his lashes. 

“he’s obsessed with anything with wheels, isn’t that right, buddy?” Wayne explains as he comes back with a bottle. “Let's go to his room,” he nods down the hall, making Eddie follow him. 

His room is cute, not too big, not too small, full of photos of him when he was even tinier than this with Wayne and his band and his friends, he has a hellfire poster, he has trucks everywhere and eddies old rocking chair in the corner. “You can sit there and read to him and then carefully put him in the bed when he’s asleep… I’ll give you your time with him—

“What?” Eddie panics. “I can’t be alone with a baby?” 

“He’s your baby, you’ll do fine,” he waves it off, points at the chair and then heads out, closing the door behind himself. 

The rooms dark, but the chair is in front of the window so some light still shines through the blinds and onto the pages he holds in his free hand. James snuggles into him, holding his bottle in his arms and listening contently to every word. He nods quickly, his eyelids flicker shut and flashback open as he fights it. Still suckling on his bottle, he fights it for at least 10 minutes before the bottle drops from his lips and barely stays in his grasp. Eddie stops reading then. He puts the book and the bottle on the table beside the chair and just looks at his son. 

His son.

He had curly hair and a round button nose. He had chubby cheeks like Y/N did when they were little, he’s tall like Eddie’s side of the family, he’s smart like hers… he’s everything. 

If he does the math right in his head she had him around the time he went missing, which meant one of those first and only 3 times they had sex got her pregnant and she never told him… she tried, he supposes that’s what all the family and baby talk came from. She asked about the future too much for someone simply curious. 

He places James gently in his crib and watches for a moment to insure he doesn’t wake up, when the coast is clear, he tip-toes out of the room and quietly twists the door handle as he shuts the door for ultimate quiet… the deep breath he lets out when he’s successful is unlike any other. 

Wayne’s in the living room watching tv with a plate that once held a sandwich, “want some lunch?” 

“I’m good,” he passes and takes a seat beside him, snuggling into his uncle's shoulder he finally lets himself cry. “No, I’m not…”

“Oh, my boy, I’m so sorry,” he wraps him up and lets him cry. He can’t even imagine what they did to him for two years, 2 months and 6 days. It was far too long for him to be quarantined with no contact with the ones he loves. It was so unfair. “When you can, I want to know anything and everything… you can share it with me, you don’t have to carry this all alone.” 

“She had my baby,” he whispers, unable to pull back, still broken inside and numb everywhere else. “All alone…” 

“I’ve been here. She showed up 4 months after, we’ve been together ever since,” he explains. “Not like together, but she lives with me, I love her like family. She is family.” 

“What about hers?” 

“They cut her off,” he sighs. “Cunts, the whole lot. You should hear some of the shit they said, and how rude they were when she tried to invite them to Christmas 2 years ago… she tried to have them meet their grandson and they didn’t care.” 

“They always sucked,” he finally pulls away and wipes his tears. “I’m glad she had you. You’re the best dad a kid could have.” 

“Grandpa,” he corrects, “I love being a grandpa to that little boy, he’s such a gift.” 

“I want to know everything, how old is he? What’s his full name? What does he like? All of it.” 

“His full name is James Edward Munson, James for Metallica and Edward for you,” he explains as if he needs to. 

“Seriously?” He lights up, “that’s amazing.” 

“His birthday is March 29th, ’86,” he confirms Eddie’s suspicions. “She was going to tell you, at Christmas and then,” he points to his head scar. 

“She was so sad when I finally called her back,” he remembers like it was yesterday. 

“She’s not mad at you at all anymore, she wishes every day that you’ll come home, she’s going to pass out when she sees you,” he half kids. He doesn’t really know how she’ll react. “I think I should tell her first…” 

—

Works long, she hates it the whole way, all she wants is to get home to her baby for some snuggles and a nice night in after Wayne leaves for work. She clocks out at 4 on the dot and all but runs to her car, she couldn’t wait any longer to get home. 

Much to her surprise, Wayne is waiting outside. Which is weird seeing as he doesn’t smoke anymore… who was with James? She parks behind the strange van in her drive, thinking it’s Gareth’s, he was in the market for a new one… so she grabs her purse and gets out with a cautious look on her face. 

“What’s going on?” 

“Eddie’s home,” he breaks the ice with a fucking sledgehammer.  

“What?” She drops everything and covers her mouth in shock. 

“He’s inside, James met him, they’re in there together—

She breaks past him and runs inside, stopping dead in her tracks when she sees the 2 pairs of matching brown eyes turn to her with glee. “Mommy!” James stands from the carpet and runs to her. 

She scoops him up, “hi baby,” she tries to stay normal and calm, she kisses his cheeks and breathes in his baby scent after a long day apart. “Can you go outside with grandpa so mommy can talk to daddy?” 

“Why?” He asks one of his new favourite words. 

“Cause mommy needs to tell him some grown-up things, but it’ll be 5 minutes, I promise,” she hands him off to Wayne. “Then we’ll all go out for dinner, okay?” 

“Okay,” he trades off easily, heading outside and out of earshot. 

She lunges for Eddie, diving to the floor and wrapping her entire body around him. He holds her back just as tight, sobbing uncontrollably without any words to be said. There wasn’t much that could be said. She pulls back only enough to press their foreheads together as she holds his face in her hands and he holds her right back. They stare into each other's eyes, sharing how much they miss and love each other with just one glance. 

“I’m home,” he assures her. 

“Good,” she brushes her nose against his. “It’s about time we were a full family.” 

He kisses her for the first time in forever, something he’s thought about day in, and day out throughout his quarantine. He can’t stop kissing her either, he kisses her whole face, making her laugh instead of cry but his kisses still taste like salt from the tears already shed. “I’m so sorry.” 

“I’m sorry, too,” she takes some of the burdens off his shoulders. “But that little boy out there has no idea anything happened, he doesn’t know this is weird and not normal… so it’s okay.” 

“you think?” 

She nods, “he’s had the best life so far, he’s surrounded by love. I didn’t know you had so many friends until I moved here.”

“Who?” 

“Well the guys, obviously, but also all your friends from the end of the world,” she knows more than he expected. Dustin must’ve spilled the beans. “Uncle Steve really likes to buy our son expensive shirts, Aunt Robin and Nancy are the best babysitters ever… Dustin loves him like a brother, Mike and Lucas and Erika are always coming over to see him too… our son is very loved.” 

“Our son,” he repeats, still astounded by it. “I can’t believe I have a son and wasn’t there for it…” 

“I made you something,” she struggles out of his grasp and to her feet, dragging him up as well and towards her room in the back.

Under her bed, she has a shoe box full of things. “This is our memory box… we’ll it was before I moved here. I started putting all of my memories with James in here too when I learned you could come home one day…” 

He sits on the bed beside her, watching her sort everything into what she wanted to show him the most. “I have the letters you sent me, the dried flowers from valentines day, my pregnancy tests, his sonogram,” she hands them to him so he can look at their baby’s first photo. 

And then his second, she hands him a polaroid. “The nurses took this of us.” 

“You looked so cute pregnant,” he can’t believe it, she was swollen and happy and adorable with their son resting on her chest. 

“And then this is his umbilical cord stump,” she holds up a plastic bag with a dried-up brown thing in it. 

“Ew?” 

“Not ew!” She can’t help but laugh at his disgust. “Lots of moms keep them, it’s the last part of us being together… and when I become the tooth fairy I’ll probably keep them too.” 

He chuckles, shaking his head with love, “of course.” 

“And…” she gets up from the bed and opens her bedside table to take out two notebooks. “I wrote you some letters.” 

“Letters?” 

She nods, opening it up to page one, “dear Eddie, today our son is 5 months old and I realized you’ll be back and wondering all about him and these milestones you missed. So here are some things to know, he was born in the middle of the night and now it’s his favourite time of the day…” 

“It’s all like that?” His eyes light up. 

She nods, “and there are some parts from me… about the days it was hard to not be with you.”

He takes the books from her and flips through the pages, seeing some had polaroids taped to them. Photos of their son on the carpet with numbers, each one he gets bigger. 6 months, 7 months, 8 months, he grew a personality with each one too. Smiling, rolling, kicking, he was never in the same position, he was such a cutie, his heart swelled in his chest. 

“I thought you’d like them,” she notices his tears, sitting beside him and wiping his cheek for him so it didn’t get on the pages. “I knew you’d be home.” 

“And I’m never leaving. Either of you.” 

Taglist

@fightingdragonswithwho @mrs-dr-reid @kyomito @reidselle @venomsvl @nomajdetective @girl-with-an-orange-cat @stevesmunsons @blairscott @sweetyyhippyy @wroteclassicaly @reidsbookclub

#eddie munson #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem reader #eddie munson smut #stranger things #eddie munson imagines #eddie munson imagine #stranger things imagine #stranger things season 4

[skepsiss]

Modern Problems, Modern Solutions pt 1

Pt2

I have like 4 other parts to this written already but I'll post em when I have time to edit. Yearning with extremely awkward teen Steddie. Eddie as a proper 17 year old would be awkward as hell! I think at least. Additionally, there is quite a bit of swearing so you've been warned. Generally, I just wanted to explore EDDIE catching feelings first and being put out by that.

Modern day AU, or more or less modern give or take 5ish years circa 2015/19. I don't think this takes place in the Hawkins we know from the show.

Small American towns can be kinda backwards, but it varies a lot as to how open and accepting each town/state is. So, suspend disbelief and imagine it as a place that is tolerant of queerness. Also, read with the understanding that in a lot of places in this generalized time people think queerness is actually kinda "trendy" in some ways. It's not taboo but it's also extremely dependant on the person that is queer and "how queer they act". "be gay... but not too gay" etc.--

---

"Did you hear? Steve Harrington just came out as bi--"

Eddie looked up from his phone, feet propped up on the desk in front of him. The boy who had popped his head into their mostly empty homeroom had delivered the news so quickly that everyone there was quietly shocked.

"Son of a bitch," Eddie grumbled, putting his feet down and getting clumps of dirt on the linoleum floor. School hadn't even started and he was already having to deal with this bullshit.

"What?" Gareth asked, laughing a bit awkwardly. He sounded confused like he didn't understand where Eddie was directing his vitriol.

"Leave it to some preppy, jock, rich-boy to make 'being gay' cool--asshole," Eddie's words were drenched in sarcasm and mockery, going as far as to air-quote when he said being gay.

"I've been fucking gay since 8th grade and now some 16-year-old wannabe happens to be queer it's big news?" Eddie sat back with frustration, crossing his arms over his chest and slouching in his seat.

"I don't think you're supposed to say queer--" Jeff started to correct only to shut up quickly when Eddie whipped his head around to him and glared.

"I can say whatever the hell I want. I'm the one that's queer!" Eddie spat, hating that so much of this 'being gay is okay' culture circled around the heterosexual perspective of what was and was not okay.

Eddie grouched for the rest of the day, keeping his head down and feeling his nostrils flare every time a whisper of today's big news passed by him in the hallways. Who fucking cared? Steve Harrington was thee popular boy in school and was talked about as if he was their generation's teen heart-throb. It was to a point where Eddie knew who he was despite him being an underclassman. He was in grade 12 and he still had to hear about Steve Harrington as if he mattered. Sports star, good-looking, daddy's boy.

It was so goddamn annoying. Eddie had been out since he was thirteen and he had suffered through the humiliation of 'being queer' all the way through high school. He had the scars to prove it and it pissed him off that four years later it felt like people were singing Steve's praises for being brave enough to come out. Who fucking cared? Being gay was cool now or something--it gave you an edge and despite the fact that Eddie was bi himself, it truly felt like bisexuality was a cop-out to get girls to think you were hot with no intention to do the whole gay part of it. That was unfair to think, but in his biased opinion, some popular boy didn't deserve to be treated delicately while he had been in the trenches over it.

Eddie glared as the school day ended as he walked outside into the Autumn air. He could see Steve across the parking lot chatting to a gaggle of people around his car. He was smiling and laughing and everyone seemed so eager to let him know they accepted him. Or whatever the fuck. He couldn't actually hear what they were saying.

"Does the torture of high school know no fucking end?" Eddie grumbled, stuffing his hands in his pockets, not paying attention to where he was going.

"Tell me about it."

Eddie looked up at the sound of a voice; the words that were spoken dripped with sarcasm. Robin was leaning against her bike by Eddie, bag slung over her shoulder as she watched the fanfare from a safe distance--same as Eddie. Robin was president of the LGBT-Alliance club, and Eddie knew her from band. Robin was two years younger than him, but she had come in hot and loud about being a lesbian straight from jump. Despite how meek she was in many regards, she was smart and dedicated to her beliefs. Eddie could respect that.

"Get a load, huh?" Eddie asked, scoffing as he glanced back over at Steve.

"Hmm," Robin offered quietly, staring for a moment before starting to put on her helmet, "he's been coming to meetings pretty regularly over the last couple of months, you know."

Eddie looked back at Robin, surprised to hear her... defending Steve Harrington? He thought it was unanimous that geeks and weirdos like them hated guys like that.

"You'd know if you ever showed up for meetings," Robin said a bit flippantly, and Eddie frowned at her.

He had tried the whole LGBT-Alliance thing and it just wasn't his space. It was boring and he hated that the group generally just talked about events and progress they should make. He didn't want any of that, he just wanted to hang out with a couple of people that were queer like him. He didn't want to be scheduling and painting signs or whatever the fuck. He had his own things to do after school--band, D&D, chucking dirt wads at a wall--anything was better than sitting in what was essentially a business meeting.

"Come on," Eddie grumbled, not wanting to acknowledge that if Steve had been attending the LGBT-Alliance meetings that this 'leaving the closet thing' had been a long time coming.

"He's actually a decent guy," Robin defended as she adjusted her helmet straps, "all things considered."

Eddie huffed a laugh, scoffing at Robin.

"Didn't think I'd be hearing this from you, Buckley--I thought lesbians were supposed to hate all men or something," Eddie retorted, not really meaning it but feeling confrontational.

"Don't be a drag," Robin sighed, rolling her eyes at the comment, "talk to Will Byers about it or whatever. He's in your D&D thing, right?"

"Hellfire," Eddie corrected, thinking about that for a moment. Will was in both their clubs and he was close friends with Dustin--who also seemed to adore Steve Harrington for some reason. It was stupid, he didn't understand why half the kids in his after-school club liked the guy. Eddie had never had any personal conflict with Steve, but he fit the shape of every guy Eddie had ever taken issue with.

"Whatever," Robin retorted, getting onto her bike, "you know we're having a mixer next weekend. You should come."

Eddie looked at her, frowning again. He didn't want to go to a mixer, whatever she meant by that. Robin seemed to pick up on the mild confusion he had around the comment, explaining further.

"Geez, there's like posters around the school, Eddie. Our alliance and like 4 other schools in our district are having like an LGBT dance, mixer, party or whatever. Hosting in Talho on Saturday. We've got a pretty big turnout already, tickets are five bucks."

"Five bucks?" Eddie huffed, acting as if that number was ridiculous for an event like this. He didn't want to admit that it sounded kind of... nice. With four other school districts... that meant there would be a lot of guys that were undeniably queer he'd get to meet for the first time if he went. That was something. It'd really be something if he walked away with a date.

"I'll think about it," Eddie said, waving Robin off and continuing his slouch across the parking lot to start his long walk home.

—--

"Call me if you need a ride," Wayne said as Eddie shuffled out of the cab of the truck. He stood at the door, having to look up at Wayne in order to see him from how much the suspension of Wayne's old gas-guzzler hoisted the truck off the ground.

"Yeah, yeah," Eddie huffed, feeling put out already for having decided to come. He was having second thoughts as he stood there, holding Wayne's door.

"Eddie," Wayne said a bit more firmly, looking for a straight answer.

"I'll call if I need a ride home-- or whatever," Eddie replied, sounding annoyed as he shut the door and turned towards the school gym.

It was obvious where the event was being hosted and he felt weird showing up alone. He had decided to come after much lamenting, resigning himself to just chatting to Will all night if he hated the damn thing. It felt weird, and he quietly hoped that at least some people his age would show up. He didn't want to be stuck as the oldest person there amongst a sea of 14 and 15-year-olds.

The event wasn't formal, but Eddie had tried to clean up a bit. He'd left his leather jacket and vest at home, opting for just an old denim jacket and a T-shirt that didn't have a band or logo on it. Other than that, he was still in scuffed-up shoes and ripped jeans, but he hoped that didn't put people off. Not that it mattered. Not that he ultimately cared. He didn't want to talk to anyone who had a problem with it to begin with, but it still made him feel self-conscious. Really, he hadn't dressed up because he didn't have anything to dress up into. Even the debate of if this was worth five bucks or if he should save it in order to get the luxury of sub-par pizza next week had been a difficult choice to make. He hated showing up to things like this and sticking out like a sore thumb--he hated being easily marked as poor.

Eddie paid his entry fee and stepped into the gym; the decorations were tacky and everything screamed 'event put on by teenagers.' There was something kind of charming about that though, even if it felt a bit pedestrian. It was sort of as he feared though... there were people here--a decent amount--but everyone looked so... young. The realisation made Eddie tense a bit as he moved over to the refreshments table and idled before getting a drink.

Great. Just great. He had spent five bucks for an awkward night leaning against a wall and drinking fruit punch.

"Eddie!"

Eddie turned to see Robin waving at him. She had a vest with a button on it signifying that she was a leader in the club. She probably had responsibilities to attend to during the night, but she did look mildly excited to see him there.

Feeling like he didn't have much of an option, Eddie migrated in her direction, feeling very self-conscious about the whole thing.

"Hey, you made it," Robin offered, a few people hovering around her. It was sort of obvious that she was busy, but Eddie appreciated her taking the time to say hi.

"Yeah, figured I'd check it out at least," Eddie said, talking into his cup as he looked around the room. He didn't really have time to lament though as a small commotion worked its way towards them.

"Sorry--sorry!"

Eddie looked to see Steve Harrington making his way over to them with what looked like 4 dozen balloons. It was kind of comical really, seeing him try to fight past the sea of bobbing, colourful globes.

"Steve!" Robin said sharply, her volume subdued but still stern.

"Sorry--there was a hold-up--" Steve replied, awkwardly trying to move the balloons to see past them and talk directly to Robin.

"Oh—oh-How-what? A holdup?" Robin mocked back, tisking as she took a bundle of the balloons from Steve and handed them to the girls beside her.

"Uh, yeah, Buckley. There was a holdup, you gagging on ten-dollar lipstick or something?" Steve retorted quickly "looks good by the way." He was gesturing to the make-up Robin had on and the bright red lipstick she had applied which was fairly different compared to her usual look.

Eddie snorted into his cup, choking slightly as he tried to hold back from laughing at the burn. Robin looked offended for half a beat before smacking one of the balloons directly into Steve's face and taking the rest of the handful.

"Ow--hey," Steve complained, getting aggressively jostled as Robin walked past him.

Despite what was being said, the whole exchange had been... friendly. It was weird really, it looked and sounded like Robin and Steve were actually friends. They were toying with each other and being bitchy in a way Eddie had only ever seen best buddies do, which was really goddamn weird to see coming from a superstar, jock hunk, and the local raging feminist, band geek.

"You're on my shit-list," Robin commented, pointing over her shoulder at Steve and then bustling off with the other girls and the balloons. Obviously, they had been meant for decorations and Robin was now rushed to finish setting everything up. The whole exchange had been so quick Eddie hadn't even been able to properly react before he was standing there... with Steve.

Steve turned towards him and Eddie averted his gaze, still holding his punch glass up to his lips.

"Hey," Steve greeted, sounding much too charming.

"Hey," Eddie mumbled back, turning slightly and facing the room instead of looking at Steve. He didn't walk away, that felt like a bridge too far, but he wasn't going to open himself up to a conversation.

"Eddie, right?" Steve asked, and Eddie glanced at him, watching Steve push his hair back into place. He hadn't realised, but Steve was panting slightly, obviously catching his breath from... probably running in here to deliver Robin's balloons.

"Yeah," Eddie confirmed, looking away again as he slouched. Great. He was stuck talking to Steve with no obvious escape plan. Perfect.

"Steve--"

"I know who you are," Eddie replied, not letting Steve finish his introduction. It had probably just been to be polite anyway, but it was obvious that Eddie knew who he was. They went to school together. They had mutual friends. It wasn't rocket science.

That shut Steve up for a moment and chewed at Eddie's guts. That had been a bit rude. Steve hadn't actually done anything wrong, yet, so really he should just save it for another time. Steve was stuck here too after all, with a bunch of kids just like Eddie.

"Pretty... young," Eddie said, watching the gym as people mingled. It really was just a bunch of 14 or 15-year-olds chatting with one another. They seemed to be having fun, and Eddie was glad for that since he hadn't had anything like this when he was that age.

"Hm, yeah," Steve replied, sounding kind of amused for some reason. "Always the damn babysitter, huh?"

Eddie glanced at him for that comment, not really understanding where it was coming from.

"Yeah..." Eddie offered, wondering if he had said it because Hellfire Club also skewed younger. He had seen Steve drop Dustin off before, scolding him like a mother would over something, but he had never come inside to meet anyone at Hellfire. Eddie had just noticed it was all.

An awkward silence drew out between them and Eddie could tell that Steve was starting to feel uncomfortable too.

"You seen Will Byers anywhere?" Eddie asked, looking for an out. He knew that Steve knew Will, he was one of those mutual friends.

"Oh, yeah," Steve offered, not making a motion to point anywhere, "but I'd leave him alone tonight if I were you."

Eddie quirked a brow at Steve, something of a challenge in his stance as he looked at him. Why on earth would he leave Will Byers alone tonight?

"I drove him--" Steve half explained, obviously realising that he needed to elaborate, "that's why uh I'm--it doesn't matter. There's a boy here that he likes."

Eddie's eyebrows shot up at Steve's explanation, looking back at the floor and the sea of dweeby, little gays circling each other awkwardly. Oh. Right. This was a lot of people's first chance to do anything with someone queer like them. He hadn't considered that Will would have someone here he intended to talk to.

Eddie laughed, both at his own stupidity and the charming realisation that he was glad this whole thing was happening, even if he wasn't having a good time.

"Good for him," Eddie snorted, cheersing the room and taking a swig of his punch.

"God," Eddie sighed, finding the humour in this whole thing now, "who the hell am I supposed to bother now?"

He was lamenting for no real reason, wondering quietly to himself if he should hold out and wait to see if anyone else his age showed up or if he should just cut his losses and start the long walk home. At least then, once he got back, Wayne would just assume he got a ride and had a good time. He didn't want to admit to Wayne that he ditched, not after he had agonised over whether or not it was worth it to spend the five dollars. Wayne had supported him going and assured him it wasn't a waste if he wanted to go. Eddie didn't want to prove him wrong.

Eddie glanced at Steve, wondering how he was going to excuse himself now that his out was occupied. He caught Steve looking at him and quickly looked forward again, surveying the room. That was weird. Eddie took note of that, slowly looking back at the party unfolding before them.

"So... Bi, huh?" Eddie offered, not sure why he was trying. He'd give it until he finished his glass of punch and then he'd walk home if no one interesting entered the party.

Steve seemed to laugh a bit awkwardly to that, doing this weird thing with his hands where he clasped them behind his back and then swung them forward to clasp at his front. It was the most uncomfortable Eddie had ever seen him--not that he had paid a ton of attention to Steve before now.

Oh. Eddie realised, feeling his chest clench a little, this was a lot of people's first chance to talk to another queer person. He was the oldest one here, closely followed by Steve... they were both fish out of water. Steve had the club, but there weren't a lot of guys their age that Eddie knew of who were queer. Steve had been mingling with kids this whole time. He was the elder here... weird.

"Yeah, I didn't really expect it to become a whole... thing," Steve replied, shaking Eddie from his thoughts. Right, he had pointedly questioned Steve's sexuality. Classy.

"Yeah, well, they'll get over it," Eddie retorted, feeling a bit bad now that he had been so dismissive of Steve's attempt to talk to him.

"I mean, it's been fine, I guess," Steve replied, sounding unsure of himself but not exactly bothered. Eddie could understand that, he didn't have the same experience per se, but all the guys at Hellfire knew he was queer and it was fine. He could remember being unsure though how gay he got to act around them all. It had been awkward and uncomfortable to find the rhythm of where you all sat, even if no one was blatantly rejecting you.

"Feels like you and everyone else are walking on eggshells about it, right?" Eddie asked, sighing as he leaned back until he hit the wall behind them, slouching.

"Something like that," Steve replied, his words coming out slowly as he watched Eddie and then took half a step back to join him against the wall.

"My advice? Just don't fall in love with your best friends," Eddie joked, only half serious. It verged on real advice, but it wasn't like it was something you could help.

Steve laughed anyway, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yeah, as if. No thanks."

Something about that made Eddie smile a bit. Steve had been so dismissive of the idea as if the mere mention of having a mild interest in some jock was unheard of.

Eddie took a swig of his punch, swallowing hard as he started to relax a little bit.

"I'm bi too, you know," he said, sucking his upper lip to get the rest of the juice off.

"I can't remember if I used that word when I came out though--people just sort of figured with me, I don't think I really had to tell anyone."

"Yeah?" Steve asked, sounding interested but not sure how to progress.

"Uh, c'ya, what do you think?" Eddie mocked back, flipping his long hair over his shoulders and then flicking it back with his hands from side to side as if he were walking down some kind of runway. Long hair didn't mean you were gay, but it was a step towards making people think you were.

Steve laughed at that too, properly this time without that edge of awkwardness to it. That, in turn, made Eddie smile a bit. He liked it when people found him funny, it felt good to make people laugh. It felt better still to be joking about something gay and not having to correct or explain anything to the other person. Steve was queer too, even if he was new at this, there wasn't that same level of judgment. Huh... funny though that he suddenly just accepted that Steve was queer when he had been put off by the idea initially.

The night carried on like that and Eddie was surprised to find... that he didn't mind talking to Steve all that much. There were quite a few cultural touchstones that he didn't have when it came to 'nerd shit' but he didn't seem to be annoyed by Eddie explaining those things to him if it was necessary. Eddie had gotten a bit louder and more loose before too long, even if he wasn't exactly buddy-buddy with Steve. And Steve, surprisingly, had stuck with him the whole night. Really, the event hadn't matured at all and Eddie had little desire to go mingle with the kids--especially when the kid that he knew here was probably trying his best to flirt. What the hell was he supposed to do? Walk up to a group of youngsters and just ask what they were talking about? "Trust me, trust me. I play games with children all the time!" Yeah, no.

Eddie's watch beeped at him and he looked at it, turning the little digital screen off. It wasn't that late, just past 10 really, but the longer he waited the more miserable the walk home would be.

"Well, that's my queue," Eddie said, pushing off the wall and leaving his cup on a table by them. "I should go."

He stuffed his hands in his pockets, not regretting having come after all, but not really feeling like staying either. Steve had made the night bearable, but Eddie wasn't all that eager to keep it up.

"Why? Or you'll turn into a pumpkin?" Steve asked, teasing a little.

Eddie snorted at him, finding that line incredibly cheesy and in turn kind of funny because of that.

"Yeah, I've got to go traipse into the woods and take root or I'll start sprouting weeds like a chia-pet."

Steve chuckled at him, looking over to the doors. Eddie started walking towards the exit anyway, and Steve seemed surprised that he was actually going. He got off the wall and walked a few paces with Eddie before they both stopped, lingering a bit.

"I've just got to start walking home," Eddie explained, pinching his brows in, finding it kind of amusing that Steve seemed... concerned? He wasn't sure, it felt out of character for a cool guy to be following him.

"Walking home?" Steve asked, again, sounding surprised. "To Hawkins?"

"No to the moon, Bilbo was writing about me. Yeah back to Hawkins," he answered sarcastically, jamming his thumb towards the doors. Steve didn't seem bothered by the reply, even if he squinted for a moment with confusion with Eddie's mention of Bilbo.

"You live at Hawkins Trailer Park, right?" Steve asked.

The question instantly made Eddie tense, and he set his jaw a bit.

"Yeah, why?" He asked, sounding a bit defensive. He didn't like this line of questioning. It always felt weird when people commented on the fact that he lived in a trailer park. It especially felt weird coming from rich-boy Steve Harrington.

"Jeez, chill. I'll give you a ride, I live near there too," Steve explained, taking his keys out of his pocket and jostling them, "Hawkins is too far to walk to from here."

Eddie blinked at him a moment, floored by the offer for some reason.

"You don't have to do that, man," Eddie replied, feeling extremely awkward all of a sudden. "You should stay."

"And do what?" Steve asked, sounding amused. He looked over his shoulder at the crowd of young teens chatting and mingling before looking back at Eddie with a raised brow.

"Fair enough," Eddie replied, banishing his guilt for now. Steve was right though, Hawkins was far to walk to from here and there really wasn't a lot keeping Steve at the mixer. Will was getting a ride home from his brother and Robin was too busy fussing over every little thing to mingle. Plus, the event really would be closing soon so Steve didn't have to stay.

Eddie still felt awkward as he walked up to Steve's beamer and prepared himself to feel awkward the whole drive back to Hawkins. It was a nice car and he couldn't help but constantly think about how he had never been in a car this nice before. It wasn't brand-spanking new, but it almost felt like it with how clean it was. The car was spotless really and it was obvious that Steve took extremely good care of his ride.

"This is... uh, a nice ride," Eddie said, running his hands over the dash as Steve drove, before sitting back again.

"Thanks," Steve replied, chuckling a little. Eddie really was admiring the car; he wasn't a gear-head but he could appreciate a nice ride. Thrill bubbled in Eddie's stomach all of a sudden as he glanced at Steve.

"How fast can this thing go?"

Steve looked at him in turn, the moment drawing out between them before Steve's lips cracked into a smile.

"Want to find out?"

Eddie's eyes widened and he smiled back, surprised and pleased that his ask was being met. God, it was so stupid. They were being such teenagers right now. Steve in his daddy's bought, fast car with the punk, bad-influence kid in his passenger's seat ready to tear it up on the freeway.

Steve pulled off the main road and Eddie's stomach swooped with excitement. He didn't know where they were going but he figured Steve knew somewhere they could drive without hitting anyone. He didn't want to be stupid about it, maybe a bit reckless, but hey--they were young. When else were they going to do this shit?

Eddie leaned forward, turning on the radio and fiddling with the dial.

"What're you doing?" Steve asked, sounding amused as they drove towards some back, country road. Perfect.

"Finding the right music!" Eddie replied, sounding equal parts excited and exasperated for being asked. He was flicking through the dial quickly, only pausing for a beat or two before switching again until he found what he was looking for.

"You done?" Steve asked as Eddie paused for a moment longer to confirm that he liked the song. He looked at Steve before cranking the volume dial and sticking his tongue out.

"Let's fucking go," Eddie whooped, sitting back and bracing himself as he felt Steve hit the gas and they started rocketing down the road.

Fear mingled with thrill as Eddie sat back, holding onto the door as they drove down this pitch-black road. He shouted with excitement, obviously stressed but having a blast. Steve seemed cool as could be, smiling with the thrill of it too but none of Eddie's anxieties.

"Fuckin' hell--" Eddie managed as they reached a bend and Steve slowed down to take it. He started to decelerate, their quick little drag race having finished.

"We should do that again!" Eddie continued, panting a bit as he felt his heart pounding in his chest.

"Chill out--" Steve snorted, falling back into the rules of the road as he stopped at an unmarked rail crossing. "Cops like to drive around here--we'd be risking it."

"Boooo," Eddie called, smiling in a joking way. He understood and he wouldn't push it even if he wanted that adrenaline rush again.

"Another time then," Eddie replied finally, pausing for a moment as he realised he had assumed he'd be in Steve's car again for some reason.

"Sure," Steve answered back easily, chuckling a little.

Eddie glanced at him, before reaching to turn the music volume back down. He didn't turn it off though, needing the quiet metal to help settle him.

Steve sure did laugh a lot, didn't he? Was Eddie really that amusing?

Eddie felt his pocket buzz and he squirmed before taking his phone out. It was Wayne. He was asking if Eddie needed a ride, surely expecting that Eddie had lost track of time or something like that. Eddie let the car fall into silence as he replied back to Wayne, feeling a bit weird all of a sudden. He kept typing and retyping what to say.

No, I got a ride from a friend. Were Steve and him friends?

I'm good. Too vague, it would worry Wayne too much.

Some guy gave me a lift. That sounded sketchy as hell. Eddie just settled on 'no, I got a ride' and left it at that, but it made him feel weird regardless.

"Everything okay?" Steve asked, drawing Eddie's attention back to him.

"Oh, yeah, no, yeah. Just my uncle wondering how I was getting home," Eddie explained, feeling weird about Steve asking him something like that. Robin had been right... he really wasn't such a bad guy after all.

"So," Eddie said, breaking the silence, running his hands over the seat, "this car get you mad puss?" He asked, his tone jovial and teasing as he stuck his tongue out between his fingers, being lewd on purpose. He didn't know why his default was raunchy humour, but it had tumbled out of him before he thought too hard about it.

"God, shut up--" Steve replied in good humour, sounding surprised and amused by the sudden comment.

"I know I've got a reputation, but jeez, man," Steve laughed, driving them back onto the main road towards Hawkins.

"So... that a yes?" Eddie teased, enjoying this little banter.

"Yeah," Steve confirmed, before glancing at Eddie out of the corner of his eye with a wry smile.

Eddie burst out laughing at that, finding it more than a little amusing that Steve was leaning into the tease and taking it on the chin.

"Fuck, dude," Eddie giggled, not sure why that was just so amusing. It felt so weird to have good-boy, Steve Harrington talking to him about getting laid. This was so fucked up. This was so fucking weird.

"So," Steve started as Eddie stared out the window, still grinning to himself a bit, "how long have you known you were..."

Eddie glanced at Steve before lounging against the door, smiling at him.

"Queer?"

Steve looked at Eddie from the corner of his eye, obviously a little unsure of himself.

"You can say it you know," Eddie offered, crossing his arms and looking nonplussed. "If you are one, you get to say it as long as you're not like slurring it at someone or something. Welcome to the restricted section."

"Alright..." Steve replied, sounding a little unsure still. Eddie smiled at that too, finding it a bit charming how baby gay Steve was over the whole thing. He felt a bit superior all of a sudden, and he liked that feeling with Steve. He was in a fast car with the most popular boy in school and he was talking to him about how to be queer. What a trip.

"Since forever," Eddie replied, "I've known since forever. It was more weird for me to figure out that not everyone felt the same way. Like, girls--guys, whatever. Hot people are hot, end of story."

Steve nodded to that and Eddie tucked into the corner of his seat, feeling cool and relaxed as he watched Steve drive.

"You?"

Steve seemed to waffle a bit at the question, putting too much thought into it no doubt.

"I don't know," he finally replied, looking dissatisfied with his own answer, "somewhat recently, I think? It's like... I acknowledged it maybe a few months ago but, I don't know. Before that, I sort of felt like I was being dramatic or something? Like, obviously, I like girls so that's fine, it felt kinda... cliche?"

Eddie cringed a bit at the phrase Steve used, nodding his head and glancing away. He had much the same judgment towards Steve until recently. That had been unfair. It didn't matter that Steve was popular or that there had been less risk involved in his 'coming out' compared to Eddie. He was pretty and sporty and even if there was something a little cliche about an all-American boy like him turning out to be queer it didn't mean it was wrong.

"Your folks know?" Eddie asked, talking softer, not wanting to pry if Steve didn't want to talk about it.

"Yeah," Steve answered easily, his tone unreadable. "They knew before I uh... came out socially?"

Eddie nodded, rubbing his head against the window and feeling the car vibrate under him.

"They... cool?" He asked, feeling a bit weird about the whole thing. He was older than Steve, but he didn't really feel like he was. Steve had so much... going on. He had his own car, activities, career paths--he seemed so put together. He was perfectly coiffed and dressed, his car spotless... Eddie was the exact opposite. He wanted to be a musician and he worked hard at it, but sometimes it felt like he was putting all his eggs in one basket.

"Uh.... yeah, mostly," Steve replied, sounding a bit hesitant.

"That great, huh?" Eddie asked, smiling lightly and trying to sound sympathetic.

"No, well, my mom seems pretty accepting of it. Unsure like... nervous? I don't know. My dad... I don't really know what he thinks yet. He's--it doesn't matter."

Eddie frowned slightly as Steve cut himself off. It was a personal topic and he didn't blame him for not wanting to share, but it felt kind of bad to hear Steve say it didn't matter.

"What about your uh... uncle?" Steve asked, sounding awkward as he shifted the conversation.

"Yeah, he's cool," Eddie replied, looking back out the window, "I don't think he really knows how to be supportive necessarily so he's just like... trucking on but he's never dropped the ball. Treats all my... gay shit as if it was just normal shit." Eddie replied, laughing a little bit. He knew he was lucky to have Wayne. Not every queer person had a supportive family and once upon a time, he hadn't had that either. Wayne was a saviour... in more ways than one.

"That's... cool," Steve answered and Eddie snorted a little at how awkward the delivery had been.

"What?" Steve replied, sounding a bit amused.

"That's... cool," Eddie mocked, making his voice sound girly and vapid.

"Shut up," Steve scoffed, drawing up the syllables a bit.

Eddie grinned, liking that Steve seemed to be easy to torment. He went for the bait every time, but he never seemed overly offended.

"Gee wiz, Eddie, your uncle seems like such a cool guy," Eddie continued, being annoying on purpose. He kept it up as Steve started to laugh in mock annoyance. "Let's you go to a pre-teen party and everything."

"Stop--" Steve booed, glancing at Eddie quickly before purposefully wobbling the steering wheel and making the car quickly veer back and forth.

Eddie jolted up right at the movement, grabbing the door.

"Shit--don't--" Eddie squawked, smiling despite how that had made his stomach drop.

"Asshole--" Eddie jeered, looking at Steve who was grinning back at him. Okay, so Steve was actually fun? Was this why Dustin and those kids liked him so much? Mr. Uptight-jock was actually a little bit of a wild child hidden behind good hair and a dazzling smile?

Eddie settled into his seat, feeling kind of good about the night as he looked back out the window and let the rest of the drive grow quiet. They weren't far from Hawkins now and a part of Eddie felt kind of strung out from the weird emotional whiplash of the night.

"You know," Eddie said as they pulled up towards the trailer park, "you're actually not a bad guy, Steve Harrington."

Steve looked at him, eyebrows pinched in with mild concern.

"Thanks?"

"It's a compliment," Eddie scoffed in a friendly way, unbuckling his seatbelt as Steve drove slowly down the gravel road.

"Oh, well, thank you then," Steve reiterated a bit more sarcastically.

"You're also kind of a bitch," Eddie retorted, smiling at him and getting an incredulous sound from Steve. The car pulled to a stop and Eddie climbed out. He shut the door but lingered a second until Steve rolled down the window. He leaned over the frame and looked in at Steve.

"I can see why those kids think you're kind of cool," Eddie continued, feeling kind of... charmed. "Guess that makes you cool in my books too."

"Cool? Or cool?" Steve asked, mocking Eddie's previous buffoonery.

Eddie laughed, shaking his head as he leaned back.

"You're a bit of a dork too, you know that?"

He liked dorky guys.

"A dork? This? Coming from you?" Steve asked, inching his car forward a bit to keep Eddie in view of the window.

"Oh, cram-it," Eddie retorted, flipping Steve off through the window. He patted the doorframe lightly, careful not to hit it with any of his rings.

"Thanks for the ride though," Eddie swallowed, not really looking at Steve but still trying to be friendly.

"Yeah, man. Don't worry about it."

Eddie nodded, feeling weird about just walking away. He kind of wanted to stay out, chat more, and just listen to the radio with Steve which was... a weird thought. They didn't really have anything in common, and somehow Eddie knew that they weren't going to talk again at school. Steve was popular, he wasn't. Eddie was graduating this year, and Steve was 16. They ran in completely different circles.

"Kay, well, later then," Eddie offered, half waving his hand in front of the window before sticking his hands in his pockets and walking towards his trailer. Steve didn't say anything back, but he waited for Eddie to get his door open before pulling away like a proper gentleman.

The whole night felt... so odd to Eddie. He didn't know if he could say he had a good time, or even what had happened during the night, but it had been... nice. It had nothing to do with the mixer or anything Eddie had prepared himself for that night but instead, his good mood rested solely on his interaction with Steve. It was so weird and it left him feeling like he was in limbo. Like this night had been a weird pocket event and he'd never have a repeat of anything like it again. Nothing big had happened, nothing important, and there was nothing to remember about it really... but it felt like he wanted to hold onto it somehow.

Eddie huffed and stretched his lips, before finally taking the last few steps into the trailer. There was no point dwelling on something he couldn't touch and thinking too hard about it would probably ruin everything anyways. This could just be a one off. He could just look back on this and think about how nice it had been to bond... with Steve Harrington.

#steddie #in later chapters Eddie pretends to be a dorky vampire #steddie fic #stranger things #eddie munson #steve harrington #my_writing #i really love writing them “getting together” #i think it's so fun to explore all the different ways it could happen

[moeitsu]

Song Lyrics That Remind Me of Arthur Morgan

Nobody asked for this, but I listen to A LOT of music, and this boah is constantly on my mind 24/7. So I thought I'd share some lyrics that remind me of him and his relationships <3

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Hard Believer - First Aid Kit

"So you ask for my opinion. Well, what is there to say? To be honest and just foolish, won't make you wanna stay. You've got to go on and get moving. And I can't do that for you. Got so many plans and so much you wanna do. Love is tough, time is rough on me."

To a Poet - First Aid Kit (Mary & Arthur)

"You said, 'Don't give me nothing you don't wanna lose.' I said, 'Darlin' I'll give you everything I got, if you want them to choose.' Though unwillingly I left and it was so, so hard to do. Now I miss you more than I can take and I will surely break. And every morning that I wake, God, it is the same."

Afraid of Heights - Boygenius (Dutch & Arthur)

"I know I fucked up when I told you I'm afraid of heights. It made you wanna test my courage. You made me climb a cliff at night. You wanted me to jump and I declined. You called me a coward, I replied, I don't wanna live forever, but I don't wanna die tonight."

My Silver Lining - First Aid Kit

"I don't know if I'm scared of dyin', but I'm scared of living too fast, too slow. Regret, remorse, hold on. Oh no I've gotta go. There's no starting over, no new beginnings, time races on. You've just gotta keep on keeping on."

Sun Bleached Flies - Ethel Cain

"If they strike once, then you hit 'em twice as hard. But in the end, if I bend under the weight that they gave me, Then this heart would break and fall twice as far. We all know how it goes, the more it hurts, the less it shows. But I still feel like they all know, and that's why I could never go back home."

Saviour - George Ezra (Mary & Arthur)

"Time was young and you were mine. Take me back to that midnight moon. Cradle me, at that midnight moon. All of me is all for you, and what I got to give is not enough. It's a dark night. Being your own savior, is it saving you?"

Cowboy, Gangster, Politician - Goldie Boutilier (Mary & Arthur)

"We said goodbye, but it never ends. 'Cause you can't get away from a woman who loves you. 'Cause you can't run away from feelings that haunt you. No, you can't separate a fire from a flame that already burns. Every saints a sinner, we all have our past. Forever is a fiction, nothing lasts."

Let Him Fly - Patty Griffin (Mary Gillis-Linton)

"Ain't no talking to this man, ain't no pretty other side. Ain't no way to understand, the stupid words of pride. It would take an acrobat, and I already tried all that so, I'm gonna let him fly. You know the light has left his face, but you can't recall just where or why. So there was really nothing to it, I said I'm gonna let him fly."

The Chain - Fleetwood Mac (Dutch & Arthur)

"And if you don't love me now, You will never love me again. I can still hear you saying, we would never break the chain. Run in the shadows. Damn your love, damn your lies."

Devil's Resting Place - Laura Marling

"I've been with the devil in the devil's resting place. Water won't clean you, you only hold yourself to the things you do. Come up here to speak to me and hold your face to mine. Any man can hold my gaze has done his job just fine. You sold your life away to be with me tonight. Hold your head against my chest, I think you'll be just fine."

Through the Valley - Shawn James

"I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. And I fear no evil because I'm blind to it all, and my mind and my gun they comfort me. Because I know I'll kill my enemies when they come. Surely, goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life. And I will dwell on this earth forevermore. Well, I came upon a man at the top of a hill. Called himself the savior of the human race. Said he'd come to save the world from destruction and pain, but I said, how can you save the world from itself?"

Youngest Daughter - Superheaven

"It's useless, I tried, but to no avail. To tell you how much I know, how much I care. Breathe until your lungs fail, you can sing 'til you go deaf. I am sick, I am horrified at everything I hear. Everyday repeats itself again, the cycle of our misery, It drives us all insane."

The Fall - Gregory Alan Isakov (John & Arthur)

"You heard blood was thick, brothers and sisters. But ya don't know where anybody's at. Time was a bust, you thought you'd better be tough. Nobody gets past the trembling wire. All eyes on you now, on you. We're all holding our breath."

Second Chances - Gregory Alan Isakov (John & Arthur)

"I'm running from nothing, no thoughts in my mind. Oh my heart was all black but I saw something shine. Thought that part was yours, but it might just be mine. I could share it with you, if you gave me the time. I'm all bloody knuckles, longing for home. If it weren't for second chances, we'd all be alone."

My Mind - Paris Paloma (Dutch & Arthur)

"What did I do wrong? Will you tell me what I did wrong, what did I? Was it a first offense? How long had you been harboring that vemon? You could have used your words then, you wanted them to hurt and so I let them. Never would I beseech you, to endure what you put me through."

#arthur morgan #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #dutch van der linde #mary gillis #red dead redemption community #red dead fandom #arthur morgan rdr2 #arthur morgan x reader #rdr2 fanart #john marston