#i had to like go back to see where was tiger jk in that song bc the transition from him to jisung was so smooth they sounded like one perso
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morse being queer (and other commentary) pt 14:
season 4, episode 2, “Canticle”:
- so far this season isn’t very gay 🫤
- i miss jakes ‼️‼️
- SINGGGGG BITCH
- this music video would be a target pride ad tbh
- don’t even try to say i’m wrong
- wait isn’t this episode super gay?
- IT IS
- omg
- get ready for me to go absolutely ballistic
- character hasn’t even introduced himself yet and we r already seeing his entire ass
- also can this lady stfu?
- “‘kiss me.’” “what?!”
- morse panicking every time theres even a suggestion of physically intimacy is so….
- anyways
- as someone who grew up in colorado, i forget constantly that weed has ever been illegal
- the way morse looks at the younger brother when he meets the band
- clocks the queer and is immediately interested 🥰
- i actually have 0 clue if that’s the gay one i’m just guessing
- “never did anything for me.”
- thursday smokes pot and listens to the grateful dead is my new hc for him
- “you ever tried it?” “i’m a serving police officer!” MORSE U ARE LAME BOO BOO BOO
- “you put enough beer away.”
- TELL EM THURSDAY
- “beer is brain food.”
- YOU TELL EM MORSE
- [i am fully joking. smoking is bad for you, and i would never encourage it under any circumstances. i would also never shame anyone for partaking. i do vouch for the legalization of drugs such as marijuana and shrooms tho. just do what u wanna do!]
- i love summertime because they’re all walking around in just their shirt sleeves 🥰
- thursday and morse just laughing at this lady is so real of them
- the daughter immediately becoming attracted to morse because of how he talks to her mom is the realest shit i’ve ever seen
- i am obsessed with The Wildwood
- like i said in the tiger episode, the episodes where a woman is guilty are always more interesting and this one is the PRIME example
- let’s not pretend like loads of rock songs aren’t based on poetry
- they could have been onto something 🙄🙄
- this band is a bunch of 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
- debryn choking morse ???????
- like okay
- pressing up against his back and shit
- i love these two together
- given the marching band coats they’re all wearing i wanna say this band is supposed to represent the beatles during their sergeant pepper days which had me wondering which of the beatles this writer thinks is gay
- joy pettybon is SO ANNOYING 🙄🙄
- this song is an absolute banger
- so basically the position the gay guy has in the band is the same as john lennon for the most part
- so this writer thinks john is a lil 💅
- and i respect that
- however!
- the english band that was supposed to tour with the kinks and got denied their visas was the Moody Blues so they could be referencing that band also
- THURSDAY IS SO MEAN
- pettybon’s daughter is kinda…
- jk
- free her from this hell tho!
- the way he goes 🤫 at her after she asks him not to tell about the cigarette
- i’m obsessed w him 😭
- the way her talking about homosexuals is not even an outdated argument
- like
- we have not progressed
- props to this guy for standing up for himself and other queer people
- and i hate that nick is the one she said all that homophobic shit to directly
- i know morse hated her ass
- “he’s a pervert” SHUT UR BITCHASS UP
- as a gay, i can guarantee you gay people want nothing to do w ur dirty ass kids
- “it was about love. she said it was dirty. how can love be dirty?” “well if it isn’t then i suspect you aren’t doing it right.”
- HES FUCKING GAY
- this man jessop is talking about writing about the queer experience and wondering how it can be dirty and morse tells him that if it isn’t a little bit then he isn’t doing it right
- that’s like a quadruple entendre
- he’s fucking queer and that line alone proved it to me
- also good on him for telling joy her supporters got violent with jessop
- she’s a bitch
- her performative goodwill-doing is SO ACCURATE
- HOW HAVE WE NOT PROGRESSED???
- oh this bettina girl is a hoe
- good for her!
- morse instinctively straightening up when he decided to have a drink w her 💀💀
- he’s such a whore
- this girl straight up called his life sad because he’s alone 😭😭😭
- like she’s right but goddam girl
- “you seem lonely”
- FINAL STRAW
- death by chocolate is so wild
- the way she catches morse’s eye the day after and he just looks away 😬
- “the threat was made against you. so far as i can see, you’re still here.”
- GO MORSE GO
- the way morse smiles while jessop goes off about pettybon
- and the way that after they accuse him he looks to morse
- people go to morse for comfort in every scenario i hate it here
- OMFG I HATE JOY
- her daughter has NO FRIENDS and sought comfort in an older man via CONVERSATION because her father died and she’s projecting and her mom slaps her across the face for it
- like what the fuck 😀
- i. hate. her.
- the way nick is mourning a lover this entire episode and we don’t know until the very end
- and the way that queer people had to mourn silently for lovers, dead or alive, just because they couldn’t be together
- and people still now have to do that
- i’m sick.
- this is my favorite episode if you couldn’t tell
- combines my two favorite things
- gay people and the 1960s progressive movement via its ties to rock music and bands
- like i live for this shit
- also detectives
- i love a detective
- “comparing his [nick’s] lyrics to james joyce and oscar wilde” AKA TWO QUEER AUTHORS (joyce was only alleged it’s never been proven)
- like how did people not clock him as a homosexual
- tf?
- trewlove is so real for being a serious police officer and genuinely a genius while also being a boy band fan
- the reverend literally shit himself to death
- i’m not laughing 😐😐
- morse listening to rock and roll agenda ‼️‼️‼️
- nah this girl is wild for showing up to his flat
- him letting her in is even crazier
- his face when he says “no more than usual” IM SCREAMING
- why is he so 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
- i’m gonna lose my mind over him
- her asking him if she’s gonna burn in hell and him being like 🫤 like girl he does not believe in hell
- YOU WHAT
- “i love you” GIRL WHAT?????????
- his face
- boy said
- 😮😧
- “there’s someone else” GIRL U WERE NOT EVEN ON THE ROSTER
- “nick wrote it about me”
- girl….
- and then says she’s not allowed to go to the Enchanted Place but fully lets morse go
- like queen
- she looked at nick and said I Know What You Are and then committed murder over it
- so wild!
- PLEASE IM DYING
- bro gets offered a drink and says no SO aggressively
- trying not to catch the sleeping with suspects allegations out here
- nick reaching for his drink the second barry comes up 😭😭
- i feel so bad for this kid 😀 but i’m normal about it i swear 😀
- “don’t you want to expand your mind?” translates directly to “i know ur gay and u should act on it”
- “you ever tried em [mushrooms]?” “only as part of an english breakfast.”
- and then BOTH OF THEM GIGGLING?????
- morse couldn’t help but flirt huh
- i hate him
- and then smiling at him genuinely and asking him about his interests???
- hello.
- PLEASE THE SMILE WHILE NICK EXPLAINS WHATS BEYOND THE DOOR
- AND THE WAY HIS FACE DROPS WHEN NICK SAYS “infinite love”??????
- he figures it out really early on he just didn’t want to out him
- i stand by that
- “there is no shame. no guilt.”
- and morse finally breaks eye contact and looks away??????
- this scene is so inherently queer
- and then nick finally breaking down over barry 😭😭😭😭
- and morse is just not judgmental
- he KNOWS what happened between them 😐 and he won’t out nick 😐
- i’m normal about this episode 😀
- morse refusing to look at her naked 😧 sir i need you to be normal
- “Well, i hope you’ve arrested him. Dudley Jessop. He’s an abomination in the eyes of our lord.”
- “Strangely enough, the police training manual omits to mention abominations.”
- i just want to point out that no one in this entire show defends queer people the way morse does and i feel like it’s really telling
- just like jessop, he stands up for queer people
- they are comparing the two of them
- and they juxtapose him to nick while also making it clear that there’s something similar between them
- like HELLO????
- wake up.
- writing my dissertation about this episode
- anyways ‼️
- “Thankfully, Thursday and I can remember a time when people were decent.”
- the way morse looks absolutely disgusted by her
- i love him
- morse is literally celebrating in his mind when this lady gets arrested
- he’s so fucking happy 💀
- “he’s hiding something.”
- once again, i fully believe that morse KNOWS that nick is queer
- he knows that nick was with barry
- but he refuses to out him
- morse going back to nick’s spot because he knows where he goes to escape is so…
- morse just understands the queer people in this show and i’m obsessed w it
- nick 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
- justice for my boy!
- his brother is so real for keeping the girls away from him
- this girl is FUCKED for fully melting his brain to cover for herself
- i hate her
- debryn is awfully aware of the culture surrounding acid 🤨
- anything you’d like to tell us doctor?
- i like thursday referencing cain and abel
- makes u think it might have been the brother’s doing
- but no!
- i love a lil red herring
- morse finding the proof of nick’s relationship with barry 😬
- he can’t keep it on the dl now
- how unfortunate
- always sucks when ur fellow gays are tied up in murder 🙄
- “it was what he deserved.”
- GET HER BETTINA
- saying that someone deserved to die because of how they were “carrying on”???????
- ma’am
- you married a gay man
- it’s as simple as that
- there’s no need for all this hatred
- just divorce and move on there’s no need to drive people to end it all
- “she’ll be back.” “no. she won’t.”
- GET HER THURSDAY!!!!
- trewlove being a fan of boy bands is the ONLY reason morse solved this case so here’s a shoutout to all my boy band girlies out there!
- it’s me. i am the boy band girlie
- morse’s freckles 🥰🥰🥰
- the lemonade was already spiked when he drank it which means that girl was tripping ballsack and speaking completely normally
- good for her
- he drank so much 💀💀💀
- bro is about to meet god
- ope i was wrong
- nick is bisexual
- bisexual awareness!!
- OSCAR WILDE APPRECIATION
- morse being privy to the contents of a book about… actually i won’t say 🤨
- the book is called Justine by de Sade
- if ur curious
- the contents are sensitive tho so be wary
- ANYWAYS
- i always appreciate queer people from that period using oscar wilde as a means of communication or identifying other queer people
- and the fact that morse knows that off the top of his head…
- oh my god
- chris and nick 💀
- what all of you don’t know is that i assumed chris was the gay one at the beginning of the episode because i couldn’t remember which of them was gay
- and i wrote in these notes that it was him
- and then went back and deleted it because i was wrong and it was nick
- BUT I WAS FUCKING CORRECT
- CHRIS IS QUEER TOO
- i’m losing my mind
- just like morse is about to 🥰
- morse having a bad trip is so unfortunate
- it would b interesting to see him have a good trip and change his entire perspective on drugs tbh
- except that he has an addictive personality
- so it’s actually good he had a bad trip and will never even attempt drugs again!
- we won ladies
- his waist is soO SNATCHED
- morse 🥺🥺
- i don’t wanna know what he was hallucinating but yes i do
- because i’m a nosy bitch.
- “he went to hell and back.”
- thursday gets it
- morse in a wife beater agenda‼️‼️🗣️
- “what day is it?” “corned beef.” “it’s friday.”
- I LOVE THEM OH MY GOD
- i hate it here
- there’s no way that pillow is comfy
- why is it up so high
- oh my god he’s so fine
- GOOD FOR YOU BETTINA
- nah joan is foul for calling him and then not saying anything
- absolutely foul.
- to be quite honest i’m not sure i can forgive her after this little plot point
- so for anyone who isn’t privy to tarot card meanings:
- the hanged man, upright, means the person is experiencing sacrifice and martyrdom. this is obviously applicable to morse as he is very self sacrificial. martyrdom is typically defined as suffering or death to obtain sympathy; this can be applied to morse as he is intentionally being made to suffer by the people around him and it is causing people to swarm to him. we will see more of this in the future.
- the lovers, upright, represents duality and union as well as an important relationship. it is interesting that they chose to display this card upright given he keeps losing people he loves and the card in reverse (representing loss of balance and disharmony) would be more fitting. it does mean, though, that he could be seeing a relationship coming into his life that will provide him balance and unity
#this one is so long#but it’s my favorite episode#like in the entire show#i’m obsessed with this episode#i love#gay#people#endeavour#endeavour itv#endeavour morse#morse#itv endeavour
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2️⃣3️⃣ BANGERS FROM 2023 🎶
I listened to a lot of music in 2023!!! I love music!! There was sooooo much new-to-me music that I found this year, especially since I really committed to listening more widely to k-pop.
BUT if I made a list of new-to-me music I enjoyed this year we would be here forever, so I've made a list of 23 songs that came out in 2023 that made my year, and that I wanted to share with people. Enjoy!!! (I stuck to one song per artist, with one exception.)
Commentary under the cut!
Memories, RIIZE – What can I say; they're my boys of 2023. This is probably not going to be their sound going forward but I'm so glad they put it out as their first ever full song, because it's the perfect boyband song and it hooked me from day one.
Baggy Jeans, NCT U – This is Thee song of 2023. I will entertain no arguments on that.
The Last One, Maisie Peters – This did the same thing to my brain this year that Taylor Swift's Long Live did to it in 2010 which I think says everything.
Angel Eyes, NCT 127 – Yes, I realize NCT 127 is most known for crazy anti-music. This is like... anti-anti-music. It's Doyoung Does Journey. It's perfect in every way and I love it so much.
Naked In Manhattan, Chappell Roan – I realize this technically came out as a single in 2022 but I didn't appreciate it then and when I was picking a song off The Rise & Fall Of A Midwestern Princess it had to be this one, for me.
get him back!, Olivia Rodrigo – Everyone loves it for a reason, the reason is because it rules.
Something To Believe In, Kesha – If you haven't listened to Kesha's album from this year do yourself a favor and go do so right now. It's discomfiting and gorgeous.
CAKE, KARD – I dunno why I thought KARD was going to be music for heterosexuals. It is not music for heterosexuals. Watch the dance practice to see a giant LA frat-adjacent boy serve cunt.
On My Youth (English Version), WayV – This whole album rules but this stands out to me as a really great song that works perfectly both in Chinese and in English. They really sell it and it slaps. Also, the dance challenge they did for it stands out as the most fun one I saw all year, which really has nothing to do with the song but made me follow them on Instagram and now I'm obsessed with them.
Paint The Town Red, Doja Cat – Another one where it's just like... The Masses Are Correct. It's great.
Good Enough, CHANYEOL – This song makes my entire body and brain relax.
Beautiful Liar, MONSTA X – Classic Monsta X, fun and exciting and interesting and cool as hell. Video rules. So grateful we got this before they all had to enlist this year.
Back for More (with Anitta), TOMORROW X TOGETHER – The squawk of outrage that I made when I watched this video for the first time and Kai was hot in it.........also it was on repeat for a solid 4 weeks. It's catchy, Anita's part is great, and it ruined my life a little.
Get it? Got it? Good (feat. Amber Liu), Jessica – A late addition that is on repeat as we speak. Proof that a good hook is magic, IMO.
I AM, IVE – I'm ashamed that it took seeing IVE in concert to realize how fucking great they are, but they are so great, and this entire album is so solid with this song as the glittering diamond in it.
Voice, JOOHONEY – This one also feels a bit like cheating because I actually heard it in 2022, in concert. But it came out this year on Jooheon's solo album, and it's just... so, so good, and it makes me feel so much.
God Of Music, SEVENTEEN – I went back and forth between this and Super, but in the end, this won out for sounding like a party in progress, and being the Seventeen song that made me really take a second look at them and promptly fall down the rabbit hole. It's so fucking good, and it's so fucking fun, and they deserve all the recognition they got this year.
TOPLINE (Feat. Tiger JK), Stray Kids – A very Stray Kids song, by Stray Kids. I think it's my favorite from them this year, though there's definitely competition. This is winning due to the amount that I sing along to it in my kitchen.
BOUNCY (K-HOT CHILLI PEPPERS), ATEEZ – ATEEZ are more my boys-in-law than my boys, but far be it from me to deny that BOUNCY is one of the songs of the year. I cannot put that shit on without dancing along.
One Kiss, Red Velvet – Chill Kill is a phenomenal album front to back, but this song stands out as soooo perfect. Throwback vibes but feels contemporary, great vocals, lots of fun.
Guilty, TAEMIN – Primarily I'm obsessed with the artistic choices Taemin made on this album, but even discounting that, this song is a masterpiece.
NO PROBLEM (Feat. Felix of Stray Kids), NAYEON – This is a light, fun, kind of soothing bop which, if it were anyone else who'd featured I'd have probably been like "why did you ruin it with a random feature", but somehow since it's Felix featured he just brightens it up even further. I love it.
Talk Saxy, RIIZE – Yeah, of course this was going to be the artist who got two. What can I say. I was skeptical when the title "Talk Saxy" dropped, and then was made to eat my words so thoroughly I am now obligated to talk up Talk Saxy every time RIIZE comes up for the rest of my life. A perfect boyband bop, goofily age appropriate song, great dance, great vocals, good boys. Made me so excited about their future and sealed the being obsessed with them deal. Hashtag Stan RIIZE.
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MAMA Day 2
So it’s been almost full 24 hours since MAMA Day 2. Where to begin? I’ll start with the good things and finish with the “bad”.
Note: Is anyone else annoyed that they call it MAMA (Mnet Asian Music Awards) Awards? Awards twice? Not only did they call it that, they also wrote it in their banners. 😭
First, it was expected that Day 2 would be more eventful, that’s how it’s always been. As you know Day 1 was spent giving out the Fans Choice Awards, so all other main categories were left for Day 2.
We had legends such as Tiger Jk and Jaurim, who just celebrated their 25th anniversary in August. It made it that much sweeter to see them perform their hit song Twenty Five, Twenty One. The opening performance by 3RACHA (Bang Chan, Han and Changbin from Stray Kids), Tiger Jk and Jung Jae Il is also worth noting. It was a powerful and meaningful message, fitting for a “new beginning” aka post-covid era. A reminder and gratitude towards the music and artists that got us through it. A promise from them to keep doing it for the music.
Overall, all performances were more exciting on Day 2, at least to me. I wouldn’t say there was anything that really surprised me. I’m not gonna lie, IVE’s stage felt a little bare, but I credit that due to the fact that maybe Starship could not afford a big stage with more props, more intrigue. At the same time, they did the best with what they could and the grils’ stage presence made up for it. One thing I really liked was the collaboration stage between INI and NiziU. It probably won’t look incredible or jaw dropping to most people, it didn’t to me, but there’s something about it that made me sit back, relax and enjoy it and I felt some sort of stress, that I didn’t know I had, just completely disappear.
My favorite stages were Jaurim’s collaboration with G(I)-DLE and j-hope’s, but I expected as much. I wasn’t nervous for him performing alone. I was really happy to see this new, fresh j-hope who was not at all sunshine. He was more like the asteroid that hits second after you think it’s the sun. TREASURE also had a good stage, they brought up the energy and the audience really enjoyed it. I watched both days of MAMA with my mama, and the stages she enjoyed the most were Stray Kids, IVE, ENHYPEN and j-hope. She’s a big fan of all of them. I can’t cay I’m a big ENHYPEN enthusiast, but I do listen to some of their songs.
Side note: I love that when 3RACHA was performing the rest of Stray Kids' brain cells held up self-made signs for them, lol.
ITZY’s comeback stage….. Hm, let’s see. I did enjoy it, I liked the song. However my personal opinion is that they made a mistake performing Cheshire first, followed up by their previous hits. I think they should’ve followed Kara’s example and performed their older songs first and then the comeback stage. It would’ve built up more anticipation and had bigger impact. Between Cheshire and Sneakers something felt disconnected. But If I look at each song performance separately, then they were all good.
Awards wise, again, no surprises there. Even with IVE winning SOTY. I don’t mean to brag, but I did predict it a few seconds before it happened. When they were showing the nominees my mom said something in the lines of BTS probably winning all awards again (mind you my mom is all new to this), and I said “I don’t know, watch SOTY go to Love Dive”. It did. So yeah, that’s my mini moment for the Day 2, lol. My mom was very happy and I think it was well deserved, so congratulations to IVE. I myself love that song a lot.
Oh, I almost forgot about ZICO! I loved Zico’s stage, I was looking forward to him performing Freak more than anything. I love that song so much, the entire “Grown Ass Kid” album is so f*cking good. Yeah. If you haven’t heard it I recommend it, even if you’re not a hiphop fan, just…. You don’t have to, but I encourage you to try it.
I do have some complaints however. First, the camerawork was a notch better, but still bad. For such an important day, that they already spent millions for, you could’ve have put a little bit more effort into good video coverage. MAMA was not only awards show this year. It is arguably the biggest awards show in Asia and the fact that for the first time since covid it was in-person attendance, overseas as is tradition, it also served as a signal for a new beginning. Not only in music, but in entertainment in general.
My second dissatisfaction is with Lim Young Woong and Monika Shin’s stage. I know that Monika Shin is a big, established and well-respected name in various fields. Most notably in dance. I don’t mean to throw shade on her, but that dance choreography felt so distant and separate from Young Woong’s singing. It was like trying to watch two different performances at the same time. It was distracting and unattractive. Also, correct me if I’m wrong but I didn’t think she majored in contemporary dance? Her movements felt a little too sharp. With Young Woong’s powerful voice, I would’ve much preferred to just see him stand still with a mic stand, maybe raised on a not too high pedestal, with some simple CGI for the dome screens and home viewers. It would’ve been so much more powerful to me.
Last thing, I’m aware of the situation with (G)I-DLE and the criticism they’ve been getting over speaking against award shows, but I chose not to address that issue here as it requires a post of its own. A post I’m not sure I’m willing to make at this point in time, so if anyone is curious what I think about it, feel free to message me or consult with Remon. Quite frankly, I don’t see why anyone would care what I have to say about anything, but there’s that.
That’s pretty much all I had to say, I hope I’m not forgetting anything. If I haven’t talked about certain groups or artists, I’ve done so on purpose. It means I either have some sort of unresolved personal feelings towards them, or they simply didn’t stand out to me enough to mention.
#jhope#itzy#enhypen#gidle#ive#treasure#newjeans#zico#niziu#lim young woong#ini#tempest#jung jae il#tiger jk#3racha#jaurim#street man fighter#mama 2022#mama2022#mama awards#mama awards 2022
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Okay y’all it’s Hyoshin hour
I got so many asks on the topic of Taehyung and Hyoshin after the one I answered yesterday that I decided it made more sense to make one big post about it rather than posting a whole bunch of different asks, some of which have unique ideas but similar sentiments.
Under the cut, I’ll share the different comments I’ve received on the topic of Taehyung and Hyoshin and Tae’s recent Instagram post, and I’ll discuss them all in one place here, so if you’ve sent an ask or replied to the original post, look for a response below!
Replies to the Original Post
FLUFFYTIGERTAE said: Hyoshin is 40 - fun fact, his birthday is also September 1st like someone else we know 😉
Yeahh, that’s definitely quite a bit older than Taehyung! Again, some people are willing to do that, and maybe Taehyung is one of them! But it definitely makes the whole thing seem less likely to me.
SWEETTAE1230 said: I can’t imagine Hyoshin is even aware of the emojis associated with Taehyung. But maybe he is. Even still, I’d be more suspicious if he’d used the tiger AND the bear. To me, the tiger has to do with it being the year of the tiger.
I agree honestly. It doesn’t seem likely that Hyoshin would even know about Taehyung’s fan emojis, and even if he did, would he use them to refer to someone he’s genuinely close to? Seems a little unlikely imo.
MISSYSAYSUS said: I didn’t see Hyoshin’s new year’s post or message but I wonder if the way the message is worded is more because he and Tae have a music or work collab going on. That would make sense to me. And yes of course HS really likes Tae - I mean who wouldn’t? I didn’t know JK did a cover of HS’s song. Was it after the new year’s post or from before when he was releasing more covers? If after, it just maybe might be a little bit of friendly one upsmanship? I’m aware I have no idea any of this is true. 😂
I believe Jungkook posted the cover very shortly after Taehyung posted the clip of himself with Hyoshin, like within a handful of days. All of this happened on Instagram, so it was right around the time I was first getting really into BTS, so I saw it happening but wasn’t as invested at the time lol. I think Hyoshin posted his stories with the tiger emoji maybe as much as a few weeks before Taehyung posted his story where he was with Hyoshin, and then JK posted his cover of Hyoshin’s song shortly after that. Tae’s story and Jungkook’s cover happened closely enough together that I was a little suspicious at the time about why that might be. Personally, I wondered if maybe Jungkook had been meeting up with Hyoshin along with Taehyung, but it’s all speculation.
Ask Responses to the Original Post
Anon 1:
taeshin anon, i could say the same about wooshik and taehyung frankly. They both looked pretty cozy in that one photo after both of them came back from golfing. Or taehyung and the stylist (?) on his story. He looked like he was giving him heart eyes. Or what about him and his bodyguard? At this point, u could say he is dating all of them or none of them. It really is just his face, he knows how to turn the charm on. Also a little bit of tipsiness. Bh does not care enough to do “damage control” when only a small faction of the fandom is throwing a tantrum over it. If BH didnt care enough to give a statement or in your words “damage control” on taennie, why would they do damage control on taeshin, a non-threatening same sex couple?
Yeah I won’t lie, Taehyung has pretty big boyfriend energy with a lot of people. I mean, the man has chemistry with Jin when he wants to. Nothing against Jin, I adore him, but he simply does not have that, Taehyung has enough for both of them. I’m sure it’s not always intentional, but I’m also sure he can turn it on when he wants to -- it’s definitely not what sets apart his relationship with Jungkook, you know?
As for damage control from Big Hit, all I can do is guess at what circumstances motivate them, but I’m willing to bet a small smattering of fans talking about how Taehyung might be dating Hyoshin -- mostly, I want to point out, as a way to slap down Taekookers -- is not something that would light the coals under their feet.
Anon 2:
This is a weird take to me, sorry @anon!
The same company that gave us the ITS 1 convo and Memories of 20smth is suddenly doing damage control because tkkrs are bothered?
The same company that hasn’t denied Taennie cares about what tkkrs think?
Right, I think that if anything, people being less sure about Taekook could only be a good thing, from the company’s perspective. I can’t imagine them doing any kind of damage control just to try to satisfy Taekookers, whether there’s anything actually going on between Taehyung and Jungkook or not.
Taehyung Posting a Photo w/ Hyoshin on Insta
Anon 3:
Aww before only JK occupies Tae socmed acct, but now...😔
I’ll respond to both of these asks below!
Anon 4:
Before I begin just want you to know I am a legit Taekooker and not a Taeshin shipper.
You know how we love to analyze TK's every move, every post, every interaction, right? Welll now I want to analyze Taeshin because I am genuinely curious about these 2. I am feeling something whenever I see them together that I never felt when Tae is with Wooshik or his other male friends. I don't know if it was because I have read that Hyoshin may be gay? With Tae's latest IG post, I am starting to wonder if TK have broken up (IF they were even together in the first place). I mean, we all know it was always himself, JK, and Tan on his feed. Heck he doesn't even post the member or Wooga photos on his feed, only on story. Now he suddenly posted photo of himself with Hyoshin (the same one Hyoshin posted on his IG) plus a video entitled "Thinking About Your Body" plus the caption "current state/update". I really want to know your thoughts on this. Sorry if this is too long. Just need to let it out.
Okay let’s do this! lol
First of all, definitely don’t worry about sending something too long! I mean look at this post. If anyone says too much on here, it’s me.
As for my take on Taehyung posting his photo with Hyoshin on his Insta account -- specifically the feed rather than just in a story -- the long and short of it is that I genuinely don’t see it as a very big deal.
I get that a lot of people see it as very significant that Jungkook was the only fully-pictured person on Taehyung’s feed other than himself, and I certainly do see significance in that post too, but it was the context of the post that gave it significance. Part of the context is that it took Tae this long to post anyone else, sure, but does all of that go away because more then seven months later he finally posted a photo with another person?
For me, it doesn’t. For me, what made Tae’s and JK’s photos of each other seem significant were these things:
1) They both posted them within just a few days of getting their accounts
2) They posted them in the same format (a photo alone in the first slide, and then a photo together in the second) within a day of each other
For Jungkook it seemed extra significant as time went on because he didn’t really post much at all. For Taehyung, the extra significance came from the fact that even though he was posting pretty consistently, he wasn’t really posting anyone else. Note, though, that neither of them posted each other on their feeds again. It was like they wanted each other on there early on, but after that, JK didn’t post about Tae again, and Tae only posted Jungkook on his stories (I know there’s the production photo of their call sheet, but that one has never seemed especially telling to me, at least in comparison to the others).
Did the significance of those original photos disappear when Jungkook deleted his entire feed? I didn’t think so. And so, in the same way, I don’t feel like Tae posting a photo with another person diminishes the potential meaning of his photo with Jungkook.
I wouldn’t expect someone to literally never post photos of their friends, you know? That just seems like a weird expectation to me.
As for the idea that Tae could be potentially involved with Hyoshin now after possibly breaking up with Jungkook, I think that’s specifically unlikely given the way Jungkook was clinging to Tae in the photos from the Busan World Expo event thing yesterday.
If there was something going on between Taeshin, I’d be much, much more inclined to think that Taehyung and Jungkook must just be super weird friends rather than that they’ve broken up sometime in, I don’t know, the last two weeks? They’re just not acting like people who have gone through a recent breakup.
There’s always the chance, of course, that Jungkook and Taehyung have never been together and that Tae is currently involved with Hyoshin. If I was looking at their interactions in a vacuum, sure, I could see the argument for Taeshin. Like I’ve been saying, Taehyung brings the chemistry to his interactions with people. In a vacuum, I could believe he was dating just about anyone.
Just like with Jennie, though, I don’t feel like I’ve seen remotely enough between Taehyung and Hyoshin to rival what I’ve seen between Taehyung and Jungkook. One snippet of an interaction and one photo together backstage at an event isn’t enough to make an entire relationship, you know?
That’s not to say it’s impossible, just that it’s really hard for me to think there’s something going on between Tae and literally anyone else when I’ve seen years’ worth of content where he’s gazing adoringly at Jungkook, talking constantly about Jungkook, getting sat on by Jungkook, etc. etc.
When it comes down to it, one Instagram post can’t -- at least for me -- make or break my concept of an entire relationship (I mean, unless the post said, “Hey I’m dating this person” in the caption). That means that the presence of Hyoshin on Tae’s page doesn’t make me think they’re dating any more than the sole presence of Jungkook on the same page previously meant that Tae was dating him, no matter how much significance the context might have given that post.
All right lol, that’s me on Taeshin, I guess. I see the chemistry, and there’s always the possibility that there really is something going on there, but in the wake of the absolute tidal wave of evidence that I feel supports Taekook, it’s hard to take a couple of little Insta posts that seriously.
As always, thank you, everyone, for sharing your thoughts! Feel free to chime in further if you’d like, but I might be choosy about what I post if I end up getting a lot of the same sorts of responses, just so you’re aware!
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i’m little doubtful about jikook lately bc no content would you be a doll and reassure me 🤒
Sure, Nonie!
Now, I can't reassure you that they are a couple because I don't have proof of that.
But even though it's been a really, really rough year (especially for Jimin), they've shown us they still care for each other.
Here's what I recall:
There were some sweet moments in the Seoul concert, like hugs and touching each other's necks with cold hands and Jungkook bowing his head so Jimin could straighten his bangs and Jungkook whispering (probably nothing) into Jimin's ear to make him laugh.
There was being together on the couples' holiday of White Day, at the restaurant with friends, where Jungkook wore Jimin's hat with Jimin's name on it.
EDITED TO ADD: Jimin got moons tattooed down his spine. Later, Jungkook got his tiger tattoo covered up and has what appears to be a sun/eclipse tattoo, which hints at their sun-and-moon-duo ship name.
Before the Grammy's, there was Jungkook running to Jimin's room after quarantine, where Jimin exclaimed "JUNGKOOK-AH!" and they embraced.
During the Grammy's, they reassured each other in their in-ears not to be nervous, and playfully touched their shoes together during Trevor's bit, and Jungkook and Jimin shared an inside joke in the Vlive afterward about the champagne tasting bitter (a line from a show they both watched).
At the hotel in Vegas, on Instagram, Jungkook straight up said to a fan: "Keep being jealous; I'll keep holding Jiminie."
EDITED TO ADD: When an Army asked Jungkook how to impress their crush, his response was exactly what happened in Jikook's TOKYO trip: hold hands, eat food, go to an amusement park.
There was the Vegas Concert, where Jungkook squeezed Jimin's ass and screamed "I LOVE YOU!" into his face and gave him finger-hearts and possessively grabbed his waist to spin him around and carried him out of the stadium like a bride. They went back to the hotel in the same car all four nights, and for at least two nights were reported going to a Korean BBQ place, at least once sitting off alone together, drinking and singing songs to each other.
There was the Vegas Vlive, when Jungkook and Jimin spoke softly to each other and shook hands while discussing their (somewhat ruined) joint-diet and exercise plans (because Jimin ate and had hurt his foot). Jungkook walked in the room and immediately and silently tapped Hobi right off the sofa so he could take his place to sit next to Jimin. Then he slapped Jimin's thigh as he settled in close. He gushed about how happy he was to soon have Jimin as his boxing partner. He remembered Jimin's grandmother's birth date.
They came back to Korea and Jimin waited so they could leave in the same car.
In late April, in response to a fan's question, there was Jungkook screaming on his Instagram about Jimin: "HE IS MINE!"
Then there was a drought from late April until almost June. All during Jimin's (neglected) OST and news of his insurance premiums going missing and doxxing and "apartment seizure" it was like Jimin was nowhere to be found and his members had forgotten his name. I got really worried about the complete silence. Around this time, there was a behind the scenes photo shoot that showed Jimin looking closed off and downright angry and upset...and he didn't look at JK hardly at all (but he did at one point reach to hug him, thinking that was the photo concept). So I got pretty worried for a while and wasn't sure how to read into things.
Then it was all business for the White House visit. But afterward, they went out to an arcade in DC with Hobi and HER and had fun drinking and playing games. I believe it was said they also went out to play golf with Hobi and Tae but I didn't see video of it.
There were the performances in June, not all of which were filmed, but K-Army in attendance said they changed up choreography in order to sing romantic lyrics at each other and stared lovingly at each other and typical Jikookery all throughout. (This was mentioned by multiple separate accounts online, so I don't classify it the same way I do rumors of Jikook celebrating Left & Right at a steakhouse together, or being affectionate at a private party, as so far has no evidence has come to light about those things.)
Festa Dinner Vlive was released in June but filmed months prior. Jungkook absolutely took the piss out of Jimin because he shared some of his solo work with Hobi and Yoongi. He also sort of bullied Jimin out of crying. Jimin suggested the team consult Jikook about the design of their group tattoo. He mentioned that a straight line would imply a connection.
Jungkook got his tattoos touched up and it looks like the JM on his hand was refreshed. To date, Jungkook is the only other member to share a 7 tattoo with a straight line in the center like Jimin's finger tattoo, and he got his 7 tattoo placed where Jimin's Youth is behind the ear. They both were later seen wearing the same bracelet styled by Jungkook's tattoo artist.
At Hobi's solo album party, they made each other laugh while getting their makeup done and then at one point Jungkook rested his hand on Jimin's hand as they shared a giggle, and another time he rested his hand on Jimin's back while they talked with a mutual acquaintance.
It doesn't really mean much of anything, but Jungkook played In The Seom a lot, and he added to his own group players with usernames like KookminAreDating and Jimin'sLittleFinger. He did this even though KookminAreDating was only on level 99 and all the other players he added were on level 300. The handle KookminAreDating also popped up a few times, like on a post about their (stylist-chosen) black/white unisex wedding rings. The handle got a lot of pressure so it changed to Jaksal, and Jaksal made a cute edit on twitter of the song Okinawa, which Jimin then recommended weeks later on WeVerse. Again, this isn't really Jikookery, so much as tangent-related stuff that could imply that they continue to monitor everything online, as JK said in one of his Vlives.
During the announcement about the Busan expo, they shared a little moment where they found each other's eyes and softly smiled while taking off their masks. (You'd think if Jikook were fanservice pushed by Hybe, then as the favored sons of Busan, they'd at least be placed beside each other for photo ops during that ceremony but nope, it was OT7 all the way.) Later it was shared in the news that Jimin's dad and Jungkook's dad had spoken about the expo opportunity with each other and with their sons.
So that's what I remember, off the top of my head. Please note that I had two major surgeries for uterine cancer this year (I'm in remission and doing well now, no worries!) and the anesthesia kind of scrambled my ability to make short-term memories, so if I got anything wrong or forgot something, I'm really sorry. I'm not trying to be shady. Blogs like Stormblessed have a really great chronological catalogue if you want specific dates and details.
But from what I can tell, in 2022 there were no real big, loud, over-the-top flirty moments (unless you count the Vegas Concert, which was after all a performance, and had skinship and silliness between lots of members). But there are quiet moments--gentle touches, soft tones, mentions of making plans together. And the members around them have treated Jikook no differently than they always had.
Older Armys tell me that in 2020, Jikookers were really freaking out due to lack of content and apparent distance. Then Memories came out and it was revealed Jikookery was happening aplenty. It's likely the same thing will happen now, with Memories 2021 allaying some of the fears Jikookers had last year. Maybe next year, Memories or a docu-series or other content will give us a better picture of Jikook this year.
As of right now, I can honestly say I've noticed a shift between Jikook. Or rather, I've noticed they are sharing less and less with us (which doesn't mean it's not there--but it also doesn't mean it IS there). I think it's normal (and even a sign of intelligence) for fans to doubt and to question what they are seeing. But I would recommend you just hang on. We haven't seen even half the picture yet. There could be more moments of exclusive intimacy that we don't know about right now. At the very least, they are still warm and caring toward each other. So let's keep an open mind and enjoy what we have as it comes.
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TBR
As a type A person, I just had to do this list because there are a lot of fics on my like page that are gathering cobwebs by now.
Feel free to check my recs list!
OT7
BTS as boyfriends
Seven Kisses
100 Ways to Say "I Love You"
Their Love Languages
Hot DILFs Take a Company Trip to Malta
Home Sweet Castle
Domestic!BTS headcannon
The Boyfriend Headcanon series
Mixtape Series
TAEHYUNG
Change
Somebody Else (ft. MYG)
Persephone & Hades
Queen Cobra
Get You The Moon
the dinner date
Songs About You: Rhapsody
Nip it in the bud
Good luck charm
You
Caught in the Crossfire
four weeks
to the moon and back
Night Terrors
Love is the Warmest Colour
Upstream Colour
KTH + Best friend's brother
Not that good
Diary of a healing heart
A human touch part i
teeth
All I Want For Christmas is You
Back to the Start
Love Me or We Both Go Down
The Point of No Return
Just for Practice
Pour up (feat. JK)
Across the Tracks
Babysitters Club
Devilish
YOONGI
Apricity
Somebody Else (ft. KTH)
All Too Well
The Singularity Theory
Budapest
Slow
Oh, You Know Him?
Not Even a Mouse
Portraits of a Tiger
champagne confessions
Boseong Breakfast
Barista!Yoongi
Podcaster Yoongi
Cut Me Open
Need to Know
Noise Complaints
Taxi
Mixtape Series: Heart Haunting
UGH F*CK (feat. Seokjin)
JUNGKOOK
It takes two
Blizzard
Wintervale
Brain Dead
Aren't We All Sinners?
Fatal Attraction
six foot two
growing pains
you are in love
to the moon and back
Bad Influence
Some way, some how
White Lies
Milestone
Baecation
Skirt Chasers
Microwave Misadventures
Stay
A Thousand Reasons Why
One Morning Stand
Lemon Sherbet
super flirty and charming jk and a shy y/n meet at a frat party
zoom call (series)
i wish i missed my ex - jungkook scenario
you can be the sin, i’ll be the sinner — jungkook scenario
callous - jungkook scenario
heartfelt — a jeongguk scenario
in your arms tonight - jeongguk scenario
the one where you wrote jk a confession letter and slipped it into his backpack but he didn’t see it and a month later
Heart of the Storm
Pining 101
The Love Project
The Love Swings
Simmer Down and Pucker Up
Pour up (feat. KTH)
NAMJOON
Pronoia
friends shouldn't
HOBI
JIN
First Date Jitters
UGH F*CK (feat. Yoongi)
JIMIN
Florezco
Dreamy
#taehyung#yoongi#jungkook#hobi#jin#jimin#namjoon#ot7#bts x reader#ot7 x reader#bts fanfiction#nikka's tbr
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hi! i just came across your page the other day and i’ve read all of your drabbles and stories multiple times lol! so for my ask, i would love it if you did a college AU with popularjock!jk and have it be similar to the movie ‘A Cinderella Story’. some angst with smut and a happy ending if possible! oh and bestfriendjimin! as well :) hope this is not too much to request! ily
At the stroke of Midnight
Pairing: Jungkook x f reader
Summary: One popular boy + One 'uncool' girl + One school dance + One necklace left behind = A cinderella story.
Genre: Angst / Fluff / Smut / Cinderella au / A Cinderella story au / comedy / popular jock jungkook / best friend Jimin
Warnings: Suggestive language / sex
Rating: 18+ (NSFW)
Word Count: 4k
Beta reader: @casuallyimagining
A/N: I am so sorry this has taken me so long! I had no clue about this film, so writing this entailed some research and me watching the movie...twice haha. I really hope I did it justice for you and you enjoy it. Thank you for the request!
"So, what's prince charming saying now that's so much more important than your best friend?" Jimin pouts, rolling his eyes exaggeratedly.
You flush slightly. "He wants to meet." Grimacing at the words.
"And that's a problem, why?"
You bury your head in your hands. "Because I'm me and I'm certainly no one special, what if he's disappointed?" You groan, the dilemma churning your gut and making you feel like your breakfast could make a second appearance.
"Hey," Jimin scoots closer to you along the bench and throws an arm around your shoulder. "No best friend of mine gets away with speaking about herself like that. You are lovely, and if he thinks you're anything other than amazing, there's something wrong with him and he needs to be studied in a lab."
You laugh in spite of yourself, hearing Jimin’s words rattle around in your brain, knowing that you should not be this hard on yourself. You lean into his snug embrace.
You open up Tumblr and stare at the conversation between you and @gameoverguk. Your favourite gaming blog you’ve followed for ages, by chance seeing your gaming fan art and following you back was one thing, but conversing with him and finding out that he also attended your school was a completely different matter. Trying to solve the equation of who this mysterious creator might be is harder than you thought. And the way he converses with you, so open and honest and sweet, that had to narrow it down surely?
Something slams into your back, pain immediately in its wake. You and Jimin turn to see the popular boy of your university, Jungkook, gawking at you and his best friend Taehyung in hysterics.
Jimin looks down in the grass behind you at the offending apple and calls, “Hey, watch it guys.”
“Really sorry!” Jungkook calls over, a slight dusting of scarlet across his cheeks but looks like he’s also fighting a laugh. It burns you how someone so smug can still be so handsome, and you hate yourself for even thinking about him in any way other than the airhead jock that he is.
Taehyung jogs over and picks it up, still somewhat amused. “What, didn’t your crystal ball tell you that was gonna happen?” He says to you, loud enough for everyone in a mile radius to hear.
You cringe inwardly, attempting to fight your embarrassment.
“Aren’t you supposed to be one of the top athletes in this university? And you can’t even catch an apple.” Jimin snarks in your defense.
His face drops as he looks like he’s about to take a step towards you both.
“Tae!” Jungkook calls, an air of command in his voice, breaking the tense air as he looks away from you ruefully. Walking off with Taehyung following, eating his apple and laughing between bites.
“Ignore them.” Jimin says sternly. “Speaking of, are you working tonight?”
Your face falls into an unamused expression, as if he even had to ask.
You were working so much you were almost taking residence at your step-mums 'magic shop', as everyone called it.
He smiles at you, his nose wrinkling, and you can’t help your face softening.
“Ok, ok, my bad. Can I swing by later? I need some more incense.”
You shrug, grabbing your bag and chucking it over your shoulder. “Sure. I’d be glad of the company to be honest.”
“Ooooh, maybe we could do a seance?”
You glare at him and head off to class causing his melodious laugh to ring out around you.
Sitting in the bleachers after class, with your sketchpad and pencil, the perfect view of the city line and the departing sun staring back at you, you sketch away. The pencil etching fast across your paper as you manage to block out the sounds of the team practicing and their bodies crashing against each other.
Long after you've lost yourself in your landscape, fingers grey and shiny from shading, you neglect to hear some of the team members leaving, climbing over the seats and headed in your direction. That is until your pad is snatched from underneath you as you frantically grapple for it, without success.
"You know, this isn't where the nerds hang out." Taehyung smirks at his two other buddies, clearly impressed with himself.
You let out a bored sigh. "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize you owned the bleachers." Your words drip with sarcasm.
His face drops and a mean glare spreads across his features as he throws your drawing pad in the air. You watch helplessly as the pages flutter in the wind as it flies away and disappears under the stands.
"Have a nice night." He says quietly, an attempt to be intimidating, as him and his friends leave.
Your veins alight with fury, hands balled into fists at your sides. You wanted to stamp your feet like a petulant child. This isn't fair. Why you?
It's only then you notice Jeon Jungkook standing on the field watching. Embarrassment suddenly extinguishes your angry flames as he breaks your gaze first, walking off under the bleachers. You grab your bag to leave for work before you suffer any more humiliation.
As you reach the last step you yelp with surprise as Jungkook appears suddenly in your view, you manage to steel yourself before tumbling into him.
You stare at him, wishing he'd get on with it and tease you so you can go...but it doesn't come. Instead he hands you your sketchpad, gently dusting off the pages.
You take it, a hesitant, "thanks," ghosts from your lips.
"I'm sorry about him." He says quietly.
You shrug. "Not your fault, I guess."
Seconds tick by as you both stare awkwardly at each other, unsure what else could be said.
"You're pretty. I-I mean, it-it's pretty." He stammers, tapping the unfinished sketch in your book. "You're very talented."
Your cheeks flush an undignified fuchsia as you duck your head slightly, letting your hair hide you. "Thank you."
He offers you a weak smile before giving you a halfhearted wave and jogging off across the field, leaving you watching his back, perplexed at the exchange you've had.
You stare at your messages, every moment he can see you're online and not replying makes your cheeks flush crimson and makes your mind run frantic.
Meet me at the Happy Holidays dance.
Could you?
It’s the first holiday dance your university has put on--one you had no intention of going to, because you frankly didn't need the added teasing from the popular kids. It is a masquerade ball however, so no one had to know it was you, you could fall pleasantly under the radar.
Were you really considering this?
What did you have to lose? You can hide behind the comfort of your mask. If he discovers it's you, it's his problem if he doesn't like that, Jimin is absolutely right.
Ok. Where will I find you?
You press send and chuck your phone down, throwing your head in your pillow to scream. Did you actually just do that!? No taking it back now, it's out there.
When you hear your text tone sound you scramble quickly back to it.
By the old sundial outside. At 10.00?
You grin dorkishly at your phone, typing a quick reply.
Sure. See you then.
You call your number one speed dial, two rings in and Jimin's voice sounds.
"I was just going to call you, how strange. Listen, do you remember that time I-?"
"I'm in need of some urgent assistance. I just agreed to go to the holiday dance!"
He cackles excitedly on the other end. "I'll be right over!"
As you step out of Jimin's car you have to lift your ice blue dress up to avoid the floor...and tripping. How Jimin pulled this costume together in time, you'll never know, he's taking that secret to the grave.
You swallow the nervous lump in your throat and adjust your matching lace mask, making sure it's comfortable.
"Ok, go get him tiger." He roars, as he swipes a clawed hand in front of you.
You giggle at his silly antics and take a deep breath before giving him a final nod and heading into the dance.
From the moment you walk in, you want to go home. This is a bad idea. He won't be interested when he finds out it's really you.
You have no time to continue your anguished thoughts as you get swept up in the crowd, fighting your way through to grab a drink. Standing to the side and surveying everyone's costumes, noticing a lot of dark or bright colour choices, you being one of the only people in a pale colour, making you stand out more. Something you were definitely hoping to avoid.
A few songs later and the clock in the hall catches your eye, noticing you had fifteen minutes until you meet your mystery man.
You head outside, footsteps echoing along the cobbled floor, and see that the outside is empty save for a few smoking and talking.
You get to the large, metal sundial and wait. Stomach churning from the butterflies that swarm wildly inside.
"Blue hour artist?" You hear your Tumblr tag spoken behind you and freeze.
You're about to meet him, come face to face with the person who understands you more than anyone, who opens up to you in ways most people wouldn't and who's creativity knows no bounds.
You turn slowly, not knowing who to expect but definitely not who you're faced with.
"Jeon Jungkook!? You're 'game over guk'?" You ask, your mouth popped open in shock.
He smiles sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck, "that's not fair, you're wearing a mask. How will I know who you are?"
You stare at him, trying to find words to answer his question, but the fact that it's him stood before you blows you away.
How could this be? The person you've been talking to online is the complete opposite to Jungkook and yet, here he is, one and the same.
"You'll h-have to guess." You try to get yourself together.
His mouth stretches into a toothy smile. "Ok, how about we play '21 questions' to help me guess?"
You nod, playing with your fingernails out of nerves.
"Do you want to sit down?" He asks, looking over at one of the benches.
"Um, no, I'd rather walk, if you don't mind?"
"Oh, sure." He agrees eagerly and you head off down the pathway around the building.
A few awkward side glances between the two of you and he finally asks, "Do we have any classes together?"
"No."
"Ok, narrows it down slightly."
You take this opportunity to look at what he's wearing and he's every part the Prince charming. In a white satin shirt, with light blue trousers and a one shoulder half capelet to match, complete with silver, trim detail. Surprisingly similar to your choice of dress, what a strange coincidence.
"You take art I assume?" He asks, into the comfortable silence.
You nod. "That's an obvious one." You refer to your Tumblr page full of your fan art and projects.
He smiles bashfully and your stomach flips at the sight, feeling like a true-life Disney princess with heart eyes and birds singing above your head.
"I don't know many girls in art." He admits,
"Ok, what about outside uni, do you go to any popular hangouts?"
Your cheeks flush, knowing you're admitting how dorky and uncool you are. "Nope."
"Ok, harder than I thought." He laughs, revealing his perfect teeth again. "Do you have a job?"
Nodding again, you play with the hem of your lace sleeve, channeling your nerves into the action.
As you're about to answer, your heel gets stuck in between the paving stone, causing you to buckle. Panic strikes you. You cannot fall over and embarrass yourself! Not when finding out who you are will be embarrassing enough. Luckily, you steady yourself against a nearby lamppost before falling on your face but at the cost of leaving your shoe stuck in the ground.
You tuck your leg up under your dress, steadying yourself against the street light, directly underneath the assaulting brightness, illuminating you like a spotlight.
Jungkook rushes over to your lonesome blue stiletto and retrieves it before crouching on one knee in front of you.
You stare at him, eyes wide and alarmed by his sudden closeness as he holds out your shoe in the most sincere way.
You bring your foot down and arch it back into its rightful holster. As you do, his fingertips graze your ankle, sending a flush of heat cascading up your body and neck, stopping only at your hairline.
He lingers there, looking up at you with huge doe eyes, but with a severe intensity you've never noticed from him before.
His fingers skate up your leg slightly as he rises, sending a delicious shiver through you. His fingers tips hint at your hand, you yearn to reach out and hold it, as he stands mere centimeters away from you. His intoxicating scent swirling around you like your own personal hurricane, taking your composed state and tearing through it, leaving it whimpering weakly on the ground. His face is too close to yours and yet not close enough. You feel feverish from his proximity and yet you need him closer to sate your heat.
Your breast vibrates from the aggressive pounding of your heart. Having him here on his knees in front of you, something not even acceptable in your wildest dreams and yet, here he is.
The person you've gotten to know so well, such a contrast to the person you've seen around campus. But then again, he seems to like the person he's gotten to know too, maybe he won't be as disappointed when he realises who you are? Maybe you can kid yourself into thinking that.
A chiming sounds in the distance, barely there and yet it creeps further into your subconscious.
"Your phone is ringing." He whispers, his breath tickling your face, as his eyes still blaze into yours.
'My phone. My phone? Oh, my phone!' Your muddled thoughts clear themselves enough for you to understand his words. You pull it out of your little silver handbag and see Jimin's number on screen.
"Hello?" You ask, staring dreamily at Jungkook who is rooted firmly in his spot.
"Ok, I apologise if you're throat-deep around prince charming’s dick but I really need to make it home before midnight so my dad doesn't turn me into a pumpkin...and by that I mean, pounded, pulped and pressed into pumpkin pie."
You snap out of it suddenly, realising Jimin's words and not wanting him to get in trouble because of you. "Of course. I'm coming, right now."
Jungkook's eyes flit back to reality with a deep frown. His hand clasps yours as you hang up and tuck your phone back into your bag. Your legs, already moving towards the front entrance where he would be waiting.
"Wait," Jungkook's pleading pierces right into your chest, feeling your resolve bubble up to the surface, enticing you to stay and see where the night takes you. But you don't.
"I can't, I have to go." You say, gently slipping your hand from his and jogging elegantly to the front parking lot.
When you see Jimin's dads silver Rolls Royce, you're suddenly eager to get in and share your news.
"So...did you meet him!?" An excited Jimin shakes your arm as you close the door behind you.
"Yes. You will never guess who he is." You fasten your belt and Jimin pulls off quickly, both of you wincing as he narrowly misses a barrier post on the way out of the campus.
"Who?"
You smile to yourself, heart fit to burst. "Jeon Jungkook."
Jimin's foot taps on the brakes, lurching you forward.
"I'm sorry. What?" He turns to you, eyes wider than you've ever seen them. "As in, popular boy, sex god Jungkook?"
You scoff. "Who told you he was a sex god?"
"I'm making assumptions. I'm sure you'll find out soon enough." He grins as he elbows you in the ribs and sets off driving you home, while excitement rapidly blooms inside you.
You dropped your necklace.
You read the words over and over, unsure what your response should be. You needed that necklace. The simple silver chain holding the tiny teardrop pearl. It was all you had left of your dad. When he died, your step-mother sold most of his things, including gifts he bought for you. This was your last, most cherished item. The only reason you were allowed to keep it is that you were wearing it at the time and you haven't taken it off since. Losing it had your chest aching. You stared at Jungkook's last message until sleep over took you.
Monday morning. Eyes gritty and burning, you wake to the sea of sleep trying to entice you back to its darkening depths but you fight your fluttering eyelids and get ready for a new day.
How are you going to look at Jungkook now? You should tell him who you are. Yes, you'll do that and get your necklace back and it'll be happily ever after.
Only it won't.
From your experience happily ever after doesn't happen for most people, even accomplished, brilliant, beautiful people. You're entirely average and ordinary, why would it happen for you?
By the time you get to campus, your manic mind has been changed numerous times. You decide to wait until you see him, which you spend every moment of your arrival scanning the faces that pass you.
"Hey, hey, Jelly Bean. Looking for me?" Jimin's cheerful face comes into full view, distracting you.
He's clearly unimpressed with whatever expression you're portraying currently, as he pouts and turns to the sea of faces. "Clearly, I no longer matter, now you've got big dick Jungkook."
You hush him loudly, looking around to ensure there were no listening ears. "Firstly, I'm begging you, stop talking about his dick and secondly, stop being stupid."
He laughs at your stressed rant. "Ok, ok, jeez. Is he meeting you this morning?"
Your body tenses, knowing, already hearing the lecture he's about to scold you with.
"You didn't tell him, did you? He still has no idea it's you!?" He sighs, throwing his hands in the air dramatically, typical Jimin fashion. "I swear to god...If you don't tell him, I will."
Your head snaps over to him as you walk side by side into the building, glaring menacingly in his direction. "You wouldn't dare."
He shrugs. "Try me, scaredy cat."
You huff and scrub at your tired eyes. "Let me just get through my classes then we shall discuss this."
He laughs as he tussles your hair and heads off in the opposite direction.
Your day passes fairly quickly, even though your struggle to stay awake during lectures only grows.
You do not see Jungkook, which is not unusual as you're not even in the same wings of the building most of the time.
Jimin's frantic waving has you puzzled as a deep frown creases your brow as you walk towards him, his jumping and pointing most unusual. It's only when you see a set of hands directly in front of you and feel your necklace land on your chest as it's draped across your collar bones, that you stop in your tracks.
Those hands, warm at the back of your neck and a mouth next to your ear saying, "I told you I'd look after it and return it." Unmistakably Jungkook's voice whispers in your ear making you quiver.
When his hands are gone you look down and find relief washing over you with the familiar feel of your necklace, having felt bare and empty without it.
"Why didn't you reply to my messages?" He asks, stepping in front of you with a big bunny smile.
Wide eyed with shock, your mouth gapes open with the slow realization that he is, in fact, talking to you. "How-how did you…" Words fail you as you frantically think of any way you might have let slip your identity but coming up empty.
"How did I know it was you?" He asks, mouth pulled on one side in a smile. "When you dropped your necklace as you left the dance, I recognized it instantly. "
"Wh-what?" You squeak out. You attempt to swallow your confusion enough to form a coherent sentence. "On what planet would someone like you notice anything about someone like me."
A look of hurt flashes across his face, almost as if you'd slapped him as he takes a step towards you, a hair's width away now. "How could I not notice you? You're beautiful and smart, you don't follow the crowd and you're kind to everyone, I've noticed everything the last two years. I've just never spoken to you properly because….well...what do I have to offer someone like you, with endless talents and interests, a charming personality to boot and just when I think that's all there is, I discover something else about you. I'm just the school jock, popularity gets me opportunities, I don't have to work hard for anything...I feel...inferior to you. Worthless."
Your heart aches, hearing the words you feel escaping his mouth. How could that be possible? How on earth could he be so utterly mistaken, so completely wrong about himself?
"But gameoverguk is nothing like that person you're describing. If that's truly who you are?" You question quietly.
He nods, placing a finger under your chin and tilting your head up to him.
"Hi, I'm Jeon Jungkook, I'm a gamer geek, I'm good at sports, I enjoy bike rides on the weekend and finding new food spots and I'd really like to take you out sometime...if you'll let me."
You feel your lips stretch into an undeniable grin. "Nice to finally meet you Jungkook. I'd love to."
As you aim the plastic machine gun, keeping it steady in your armpit and pointed towards the screen, you and Jungkook race through the game, taking down your enemies at every chance. When your team name, "Blue Hour Gamer" flashes in neon letters on screen as the winners, your hollering and hooting fill the arcade.
You don't even care that people are watching, not when you jump up and high five each other or when that high five turns into a hug, or when that hug very quickly turns into a kiss. You don't care.
You pull away quickly, embarrassment finding its way to dust your cheeks scarlet. Until you feel his hand press your lower back to him, your bodies crushing together and moving in perfect sync, making their own rhythm and inviting you to sing with it.
Heat blazes inside you like a wildfire, capturing everything else in its path and turning into thoughtless ash in the wind. Nothing else mattered, just him, his lips against yours, his hands on your skin, caressing so gently and yet setting your skin aflame.
Before you knew it, you were at his small, studio apartment, realising you had no clue he lived alone but thankful for that just the same.
When your back finds the bed, you sink into it, disappearing into a cloud of euphoria as he roams your body, slow and meaningful. Every touch makes you feel things you never have before, and every movement brings you closer to the edge of the precipice.
The way his mouth feels on you as he explores your body sends sparks of electricity racing through you. The way he feels inside you with each perfect, controlled movement lights you up like the sunrise after dark, warming you with its rays as you stare off the cliff edge and brace yourself for the impact. His hand caresses your cheek as he looks deeply into your eyes, something so sweet and pure in the action that your chest swells with emotion. His forehead touches yours as he moves in perfect time with your pounding heart. Suddenly you're falling, everything going past in a rush before crashing onto a sea of ecstasy, writhing and moaning until your climax subsides and his has joined in unison.
A tender kiss on your head, his arm winding around you, pulling you to him and encasing you in the perfect safety net is enough. Maybe he'll be your happily ever after, after all.
#btswritersclub#btswriterscollective#ficswithluv#bangtanarmynet#bangtanuniversity#btsbookclub#bts#bangtan#bangtan army#bangtan seonyeondan#bts army#bts jeon jungkook#bts jungkook#jeon jungkook#jungkook#jungkook fanfic#bts jungkook fanfic#jungkook fanfiction#bts smut#bts angst#bts fluff#jungkook smut#jungkook angst#jungkook fluff#jk#bts kookie#kookie#bts fanfic#bts fanfiction
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MAGIC SHOP | JJK (05)
Description: You and Jungkook were best friends who were in love with each other. What would happen when Soojin, your half sister who you’re trying to impress, told you she’s in love with Jungkook too?
Alternatively:
“Would you believe me if I said that I was scared of everything too?”
Genre: childhood best friends to lovers, family drama, angst, fluff, idiots to lovers, pining, slice of life au.
Pairing: Architect!Jungkook x Architect!Reader
Word Count: 1.9k
SERIES: CHAPTER 4 | CHAPTER 6
"Marry me."
When Jungkook said this, you honestly thought that he wanted to sing Jason Derulo's Marry Me.
It made sense. The two of you were inside a karaoke booth, singing obviously. It was Sunday, meaning both of you would be back to reality tomorrow: you had to go to work and Jungkook needed to talk to Soojin.
He couldn't date your sister because he was already dating you, though you told Jungkook not to broadcast your relationship with anyone.
Not yet. This wasn't the right time. You first needed to see how Soojin would react. You didn't want her to think that you stole Jungkook or something.
That wasn't the case. You liked Jungkook even before Soojin liked him. There was no point in denying your feelings.
Seventeen years of running was already enough. How could you escape when Jungkook already conquered your heart?
You were sure he liked you too, probably more than you liked him.
"Kook, you just sang Savage Love. Do you seriously want to blast another Jason Derulo's song?" You groaned, expecting him to argue, or to pout and beg you to play the song.
However he only stared at you, pursing his lips into a thin line before letting out a deep breath.
"No, Tiger," no matter how serious the topic was, Jungkook's voice would always be soft. "I'm asking you to marry me..."
It was your turn to stare at him, completely dumbfounded.
"I'm sorry," you blinked after a moment of silence. You thought he would suddenly laugh and tell you he was joking.
"D-Did you say you want to marry me?"
Apparently, he wasn't kidding. Jungkook found satisfaction when it comes to teasing you, but not to the point where it was making you uncomfortable.
This was making you uneasy, yet he continued, a silent confirmation that this was real.
He wanted to marry you.
"Kook," you went near him, touching his shoulders. "I know you said we had the best time last night, I did too. I'm glad I kissed you and finally admitted my feelings for you."
You tried to remember every detail of what happened last night. You two kissed, went to his apartment, and reminisced about your moments when you were younger.
Jungkook implied that he would do the worst just for you. You remembered laughing and saying that he actually brought the best in you.
And then you remembered telling him you liked him and wanted to take your relationship into another level. He agreed, more than happy to date you despite your condition of keeping the relationship a secret.
You made yourself perfectly clear with what you wanted, and it seemed like he understood. He kissed you before falling asleep last night. When he woke up, he called you his girlfriend and asked you to go on a date with him.
This day was supposed to be all about you and him. The plan was to cook lunch together, watch some tv series, cuddle, and go out in the evening to go to a karaoke booth.
You had a fun time until now.
Why was he making this complicated by suddenly proposing to you?
"I'm sorry," Jungkook apologized, caressing the back of your hand which was still placed on his shoulder.
"I was...excited and caught up in the moment—" He paused, like something struck him.
"Never mind, Tiger." He pinched your cheeks. "I'm just messing with you."
You tried to speak, but Jungkook already turned away from you, grabbing his mic.
"Ah, I'm going to sing Dancing Queen and you can't stop me!"
The worry lacing your system vanished as soon as you saw his bunny smile.
"I wanna sing too!" So you grabbed your mic too, joining him.
The night was perfect once again.
It was so perfect that your mind and heart refused to accept the things that would ruin your Sunday date with Jungkook.
"After years of building things, two great architects of today finally decided to build a life together: Head Architect Jeon Jungkook asked Corporate Heir Kim Soojin to marry him."
You turned off your phone, baffled. No. This couldn't be true. Why would the media report fake news?
You were just with Jungkook a short while ago. You were at his place the whole weekend. He even dropped you off at the office earlier today before driving to the construction site. He also told you he would pick you up later for dinner. He knew Mondays were stressful so he wanted you to relax a bit.
So what just happened?
What was happening?
Why were things changing?
"Oh my! I knew it!" Fran, your coworker, gasped. She turned to your table.
"Girl! Have you watched the news? Head architect Jeon and team leader Kim are getting married!" She squealed, getting the attention of your other colleagues.
They all started to check their phones to confirm the news, some of them even spread the 'gossip' to the other departments. Moments later, you were sure that everyone in this building already knew about the announcement.
They seemed happy for Jungkook and your sister. You knew you should be thrilled too, especially because this was what Soojin wanted from the very start.
Unfortunately you couldn't even smile. Your stomach was crunching and you felt like you were going to vomit.
You were beyond confused. Did the media make a mistake or was Jungkook playing with your feelings?
It was probably the latter, right? Everyone was confirming the news. Soojin also texted you. It was the final blow.
[3:34pm] Soojin: Cancel your plan this evening! We'll be having family dinner, 7pm at our mansion. See you!
You were in the middle of reading her message when she sent another one.
[3:35pm] Soojin: The dinner's a mini celebration for JK and I! We're engaged! I'm sorry I didn't tell you immediately! We're soooo busy right now.
And then there was another one.
[3:35pm] Soojin: I'm so happy, sis! Can't wait to tell you the deets! Don't be late, ok?
You were not hesitating anymore. You were positive that Jungkook only played with your feelings.
Soojin wouldn't appear this happy if she was lying. Or was she pretending?
You weren't sure what to believe. Maybe it would be best to just let things be for now. You had to concentrate on your work. The truth would come out later this day anyway.
You texted Soojin back.
[4:02pm] You: See you later.
The clock continued to tick while you were losing your mind. You couldn't focus on your work no matter how many times you scolded yourself. In the end, you accomplished nothing. It didn't matter. You only had less than an hour before your shift ended.
You left the office at exactly five pm. You were planning on taking the bus, but you were surprised when you saw Taehyung waiting for you in the lobby.
"Oppa?" You greeted, unsure. One of the security employees told you that your brother was meaning to see you. They just didn't let him on your floor because he didn't set an appointment with you.
"You wanted to see me?" You asked when he just nodded at you. He was expressionless.
"Yes. We're going home together. Family dinner, remember?" He reminded you as if you weren't looking forward to that.
"Okay..." You responded since you didn't know what else to say. It seemed like he also didn't have the time to explain anything to you. Perhaps he simply wanted to drive you home.
"Do you know what Soojin and Jungkook like? I want to buy them an engagement gift," your brother blurted out.
You two were at the parking lot, looking for his car.
You stopped walking.
Huh. So he picked you up because he wanted your help? Why were you even surprised?
"It's okay if you don't know." Taehyung looked back at you upon realizing that you were frozen in the middle of the parking lot.
"I'll just buy them champagne or whatever." He shrugged, finally finding the car. He opened the door of the passenger seat for you.
"Let's go."
You blinked, entering the car.
Taehyung had a nice vehicle. It was clean and it looked brand new. The whole ambiance of his car was comfortable, yet you were fidgeting.
The silence was killing you.
"Soojin likes Dom Pérignon..." So you opened a topic related to his gift to the engaged couple.
Taehyung glanced at you, speaking only when the traffic light turned red.
"What about Jungkook?"
You flinched at the mention of your best friend's name.
"Huh?" And then you swallowed thickly, trying to calm your crazy heart.
"You said Soojin likes Dom Pérignon champagne. That's nice, but what about what Jungkook likes?" He licked his bottom lip, stepping on the gas once again. The traffic light flashed green.
"The gift is for the both of them. Not just for Soojin..."
You didn't know why but you felt as though Taehyung was implying something.
"I-I guess he doesn't mind that brand too..."
"Hm," Taehyung's jaw ticked. "It's best to just ask him, don't you think? Better know the truth first before jumping into conclusion..."
"Some things are taken prima facie..."
Taehyung laughed because of what you said.
"Really?" The corner of his mouth turned up. "I saw you kissing Jungkook at the party last Saturday. You both entered the same car after that. You didn't even go home for two nights. If I took this in a prima facie way, the conclusion is that you're Jungkook's mistress, right?"
Your face turned pale because of his claim. Shit. He saw you?
"I thought you left with Y-Yoongi." You stammered, turning to look at him.
You couldn't see his expression. His attention was focused on the street before him.
"Oh I did. But he wanted to check on you first. He was feeling guilty, you know? Said he didn't want to leave you alone..." He smiled, like he found Yoongi endearing.
"He only stopped worrying when he saw you with Jungkook."
"Oh." You bit your lower lip. You hadn't talked to Yoongi yet. Why didn't he text you? Why didn't he warn you? How were you supposed to defend yourself now?
"Don't worry, my lips are sealed." Luckily you didn't have to explain yourself.
Taehyung understood.
"Not that I condone cheating. I just know Jungkook isn't in a relationship with Soojin so he's not really doing anything wrong. Man..." He shook his head. "I don't even know why they're suddenly getting married, it's so fucked up."
You remained silent.
"And speaking of relationships..." Taehyung cleared his throat when you kept your mouth shut. "Don't tell anyone about my thing with Yoongi."
"Don't worry, my lips are sealed." You mimicked what he said a few breaths ago.
He smirked again.
"Good. If our family asks, I'll tell them we're together the whole weekend, unless of course you have a more believable lie..."
You didn't. You thought it wasn't necessary anymore. None of them asked where you were. You doubted that they knew you weren't home for two nights .
Usually Soojin bothers you. Sin-ae too. The latter would question you all the time, finding fault in your answers because she clearly enjoyed watching you get scolded by your father.
You wondered why they suddenly stopped bothering you. Were they too busy planning the engagement announcement? You saw Sin-ae's short interview. She confirmed to the public that her only daughter was indeed getting married.
"It's fine. But you told them where we went. I don't know what to say to them." You weren't close to Taehyung. It would be odd to know that you two were together the whole weekend.
"Don't worry, sister. I got it covered." Your brother winked at you, stopping the car.
You had arrived at the mansion.
Your heart skipped a beat as you muttered "Let's get this over with," under your breath.
#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#ficswithluv#jungkook x reader#jungkook x y/n#armywriterssupport#jungkook x you#jungkook x yn#best friend jungkook#jungkook best friends to lovers
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100 questions and answers
Who is your hero?
Probably future me, i want to be able to grow up and be the better person that i hope they are, and the only way of knowing that is by making it happen.
If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
New Zealand, Canada or USA. I lived in TX for 3 months and loved it there and I have family in NZ and Canada.
What is your biggest fear?
Wasps, 100%. Not being stung but the way they look scares me.
What is your favorite family vacation?
When we went to Krakow in Poland.
What would you change about yourself if you could?
My skin color. I hate it so much.
What really makes you angry?
People hating others or stopping others from being themselves.
What motivates you to work hard?
To make future me happier than I am now.
What is your favorite thing about your career?
I want to be in cabin crew, so probably the traveling.
What is your biggest complaint about your job?
Being away from family.
What is your proudest accomplishment?
Getting through the shit 2020 brought me without killing myself.
What is your child's proudest accomplishment?
No kids rn.
What is your favorite book to read?
Noughts and Crosses by Malorie Blackman
What makes you laugh the most?
My boyfriend.
What was the last movie you went to? What did you think?
Freaks. I was a bad movie, a little like the scary movies franchise. My friend was scared at parts which was super funny to watch
What did you want to be when you were small?
An actor. Typical Leo ;)
What does your child want to be when he/she grows up?
They can be anything they want to be.
If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be?
Visit Edinburgh alone.
What is your favorite game or sport to watch and play?
To watch, American Football. To play, archery.
Would you rather ride a bike, ride a horse, or drive a car?
Drive a car, it's peaceful and warm. I would blast music.
What would you sing at Karaoke night?
no idea.
What two radio stations do you listen to in the car the most?
Heart and Capital
Which would you rather do: wash dishes, mow the lawn, clean the bathroom, or vacuum the house?
Dishes or vacuum.
If you could hire someone to help you, would it be with cleaning, cooking, or yard work?
Yard work!!!
If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Tandoori Prawn curry.
Who is your favorite author?
Jacqueline Wilson or JK Rowling (only her books, not her)
Have you ever had a nickname? What is it?
Just Em. But id like to be called Millie.
Do you like or dislike surprises? Why or why not?
Depends on the surprise tbh, I like to plan a lot.
In the evening, would you rather play a game, visit a relative, watch a movie, or read?
Watch a movie.
Would you rather vacation in Hawaii or Alaska, and why?
Hawaii. I was meant to go this year but covid and leaving the US fucked it up.
Would you rather win the lottery or work at the perfect job? And why?
Work the perfect job, id get bored sitting around all day.
Who would you want to be stranded with on a deserted island?
my boyfriend.
If money was no object, what would you do all day?
Travel and see the world.
If you could go back in time, what year would you travel to?
2012. To see my Nana again.
How would your friends describe you?
Stupid.
What are your hobbies?
Traveling, photography, music and shopping.
What is the best gift you have been given?
Forgiveness from myself.
What is the worst gift you have received?
Sixe XXL jacket when im an XS
Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without?
My macbook.
List two pet peeves.
- Breaking trust
- Bad table manners
Where do you see yourself in five years?
Hopefully working my dream job, maybe moved to a different country and traveling the world.
How many pairs of shoes do you own?
too many, roughly 16
If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have?
Invisibility or teleportation.
What would you do if you won the lottery?
build my own house
What form of public transportation do you prefer? (air, boat, train, bus, car, etc.)
Train, its so relaxing. Then planes.
What's your favorite zoo animal?
Lions or tigers.
If you could go back in time to change one thing, what would it be?
My time in America.
If you could share a meal with any 4 individuals, living or dead, who would they be?
- My nana
- my bf
- Princess Diana
- Obama
How many pillows do you sleep with?
4, two on each side.
What's the longest you've gone without sleep (and why)?
26 hours, traveling to Texarkana from Edinburgh.
What's the tallest building you've been to the top in?
Idk tbh
Would you rather trade intelligence for looks or looks for intelligence?
looks for intelligence because then you can earn enough for plastic surgery.
How often do you buy clothes?
1/2 a month
Have you ever had a secret admirer?
Idk I guess so.
What's your favorite holiday?
Summer vacation
Christmas for an actual holiday
What's the most daring thing you've ever done?
Moved half way across the world and lived with strangers.
What was the last thing you recorded on TV?
Nothing
What was the last book you read?
1984
What's your favorite type of foreign food?
Indian
Are you a clean or messy person?
Both, but relatively clean
Who would you want to play you in a movie of your life?
Millie Bobbie Brown probably
How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
1 hour
What kitchen appliance do you use every day?
Kettle
What's your favorite fast food chain?
Chick fil A (i know, i cant buy it now tho)
What's your favorite family recipe?
Nana's bacon and egg pie
Do you love or hate rollercoasters?
LOVE
What's your favorite family tradition?
Opening gifts on Christmas Eve
What is your favorite childhood memory?
I dunno really, Ive forgotten a lot of my childhood.
What's your favorite movie?
Ferris Bueller's Day Off or Beautiful Boy
How old were you when you learned Santa wasn't real? How did you find out?
Probably 7/8 but I dont remember.
Is your glass half full or half empty?
Half empty.
What's the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of love?
Said i'd come back one day.
What three items would you take with you on a deserted island?
A boat and food. Yes i am that person.
What was your favorite subject in school?
Scottish school, geography. US school, government.
What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten?
Haggis
Do you collect anything?
Foreign coins
Is there anything you wished would come back into fashion?
Skinny jeans, my ass looks gooood in them
Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
introvert that likes being sociable
Which of the five senses would you say is your strongest?
hearing
Have you ever had a surprise party? (that was an actual surprise)
nope
Are you related or distantly related to anyone famous?
my dad is well know in the whisky business. Has his own prime tv show
What do you do to keep fit?
Walk a lot and swim.
Does your family have a “motto” – spoken or unspoken?
nope
If you were ruler of your own country what would be the first law you would introduce?
everyone is equal.
Who was your favorite teacher in school and why?
Scottish School, my geo teacher. US school, my english teacher.
What three things do you think of the most each day?
My bf, my mum and America
If you had a warning label, what would yours say?
Sad, angry and anxious
What song would you say best sums you up?
17 again
What celebrity would you like to meet at Starbucks for a cup of coffee?
Timothee Chalamet or Tom Holland
Who was your first crush?
a boy called Finlay who i rode the bus with
What's the most interesting thing you can see out of your office or kitchen window?
sheep or cows very often
On a scale of 1-10 how funny would you say you are?
5
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
kids, married, settled down and happy. moved countries 100%
What was your first job?
never had one
If you could join any past or current music group which would you want to join?
5sos
How many languages do you speak?
1 - english
What is your favorite family holiday tradition?
opening gifts on Christmas Eve
Who is the most intelligent person you know?
my mum
If you had to describe yourself as an animal, which one would it be?
a cat probably or a tiger
What is one thing you will never do again?
trust people fully
Who knows you the best?
my bf.
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fic rec: Vignettes by CosmicZombie
fandom: The Borgias (Showtime 2011)
pairing: Cesare Borgia/Lucrezia Borgia
word count: 17k
is it explicit: yes
bottom line: Cesare heals Lucrezia from the emotional trauma of her marriage; this fic healed me from the ennui of being alive
It’s an S1 AU where Lucrezia returns to Rome from Pesaro to await her divorce, but Rome does not feel like home anymore and Lucrezia does not feel like herself. Pesaro isn’t just a place, you see—it’s the physical manifestation of Lucrezia’s loss of identity. That bastard Giovanni Sforza made her feel worthless, made her feel like less than nothing, and you don’t recover from that kind of abuse overnight. This fic pulls off an astounding sleight of hand where it repeatedly juxtaposes Pesaro against Rome, alien-place against home-place, and then it turns out Rome isn’t home—Cesare is home. That revelation hit me like a ton of bricks.
“Am I different, Cesare?” “You are Lucrezia.” “I—I sometimes feel as though I cannot remember who I used to be.”
She’s home but not home; she’s with Cesare but she wants to be with him more (she wants his dick inside her lol).
This fic takes its time with the slow buildup of UST, and I adore how tactile Lucrezia and Cesare are. We have tears being wiped away, nose bumps, brushing of lips against knuckles, warm breath on skin, dancing in the moonlight, cuddling, even bedsharing! Another thing I’m in awe of is the imagery: I could hear the burbling of the water fountain and I was getting sleepy just from the descriptions of sunlight. She even has a dream where she sees Cesare in her own reflection in a mirror, and it was such a disturbing image that it stayed with me. In truth it’s a dreamlike atmosphere that’s evoked here—Vanozza, Juan, Gioffre etc are onscreen for 0.2 seconds even though they’re all living at the villa together—it’s pretty tightly centered on Lucrezia and Cesare. What’s going on in the outside world?? Is France about to invade & occupy the Vatican? Is Milan in cahoots with them? Are there rumblings of discontent from Naples? Has Savonarola set Florence on fire yet? Who tf knows—not Cesare or Lucrezia, they’re in their own little bubble!!!
When other characters are mentioned, however, the context is revealing:
Juan had mocked them when they were children for being like a two-headed Cerberus
Djem had told her of Indian tigers once, how when the monsoon came after months of drought they sometimes drank so much in compensation that they drowned their own hearts in water.
That second quote!!! That’s Lucrezia being reunited with Cesare and immediately trying not to gorge herself on him. She missed him so much while she was away in Pesaro!
So Lucrezia has insomnia. Of course, before she left Rome, she used to sleep like a baby:
“Come,” Cesare said gently, pulling their clasped hands to his chest and kissing her knuckles. “Let me read you to sleep as I used to…What should you like to hear, sis?” “Anything so long as it is in your voice,” Lucrezia murmured, eyelids heavy.
This passage, I think, best encapsulates the rupture that has occurred in Lucrezia:
She wondered now that she was back how she had been able to bear being away from him for so long, but then she felt that she had not only been away from him while at Pesaro, but also away from herself. Now that she had returned she ached for both of them so deeply she felt as though it would consume her.
What a turn of phrase! She had not only been away from Cesare but away from herself. Because Cesare is her own self q.e.d. bye
“Sometimes I feel as though I no longer exist,” Lucrezia whispered, leaning her forehead against his … It is only when I am with you that I feel like myself again, Cesare.” “I would cut out his heart for what he has done to you, sis.” “What good is his heart? It will not make me feel myself again …Only yours can do that, brother, as it has always done.”
ONLY CESARE MAKES HER FEEL REAL AAAAAAA!!!
Here is where the UST really starts to build, and Lucrezia feels the little tremors of physical attraction under her abiding affection for Cesare:
she felt as though she were simultaneously glimpsing the assurance of the one thing which would never change, and flickers of things she had always known before but never truly been confronted with.
shoulders pressed together the way they had sat together so often over the years; on one or other of their beds, or the walls of the Vatican, or on this very spot – yet it somehow felt infinitely different to any of those times. He had always been her solace, in everything. Never before had he somehow been part of what troubled her.
This is a conversation wherein Lucrezia doubts she is worthy enough to experience all-consuming soul-engulfing romantic love the way it’s valorized in stories and songs:
“But you have been with women, Cesare …You know what it is to love someone, to be loved. I have not known that. I may never know it.” “You will know it someday, my love. I promise you.“ “But I do not know it now. Tell me what it is like. Tell me that it exists…Please, Cesare.” “I do not know if I have ever loved a woman I have been with in the way you describe, sister.” “Is such love impossible?” “In every sense of the word, my love.”
This conversation is EVERYTHING. I cut out out the body language but it’s like, Cesare is finishing every single sentence with “my love”??? What more proof does she want that he loves and adores and desires her above all other women?? “Impossible loves” indeed!!!
She had craved his attention and his very presence whenever he was missing from her – but she felt now that she still craved him even when she was with him. The power of it overwhelmed her and empowered her all at once, and was more consuming than her love of god had ever been.
THEIR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER IS MORE POWERFUL THAN THEIR LOVE FOR GOD this is it this is the essence of Cesare/Lucrezia
For most of her childhood, she had lived in fear she would never find anyone else in the world whom she loved as much as her brother. Sitting amidst the wildflowers with her hair unravelling and her heart racing as they looked at each other, she knew it had been a long time since she had feared that.
Did somebody say platonic/fraternal affection shading imperceptibly into romantic attachment??? My jaaaaaam
“How many people do you think are blessed with such intimacy of the soul, Cesare?” “None that I know.”
Soulmates!!!
This is the prologue to them consummating their relationship—they rode out into the woods and the scene is as picturesque as can be:
“I do not like the way men look at me … I feel like fearful Daphne under their gaze, and just as helpless to escape them. They do not see me, they only see the pope’s daughter, a Borgia.” “I do not see only that.” “No, I know you do not. But you are different, Cesare … I cannot imagine what it would be to fear you.” “Many do not have to imagine.” “I do not fear you …But I fear this, Cesare…I fear what I feel for you when we are together.”
There’s no going back after this—they’re taking an irrevocable step in their relationship but they’re also ruining each other for any future partners, who could not possibly ever measure up.
She could feel how hard he was against her thigh, feel the urgency in the tremor of his hands where they touched her hair, feel the fevered thump of his heart where his chest was pressed against her own. For the first time, she felt as though she was given a glimpse of the recklessness which drove him when he was wielding a sword or charging headlong into the chaos of a battlefield.
Making love is actually not dissimilar to making war: the adrenaline rush?? The anticipation? The endorphins??
Oh wait no jk they don’t consummate till they get back to the villa later that night. This is my favorite passage from this fic, it’s Lucrezia running into him on the terrace after supper and really seeing him. She’s the only one who’s ever seen all of him:
Here in the shadows with just the two of them the impatient ambition and calculating intelligence that constricted him as much as his Cardinal’s red was lost, and he was just himself. The brother Lucrezia had known since she was placed into his arms less than an hour after she first came into the world, who had existed before ambition or anger in his devotion, curiosity and passion. It was the Cesare she and she alone knew, and it made emotion bloom in her chest to think she was the only person who had ever known him as this.
And then they go back to her room and bang, which is how Lucrezia finds herself again. Protip everyone: skip the Eat Pray Love and instead embark on a journey of self-discovery by banging your brother!
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Rough.
Liking someone can be rough. Especially when you don’t know where you stand with them.
As a successful idol, you know that dating is off the table. You, when you signed that contract, made a deal with yourself that you wouldn’t date anyone until you were a household name and as hard as that was, you did it. It took years of practise and grafting but you’re here almost a decade later as one of the most successful solo artists. And of course, with fame, comes loneliness. You’re twenty-five – never gone on a real date, haven’t kissed a man in so long and been pretty much devoid of all male attention. You were okay with this when you were busy promoting, busy selling out arenas, busy on tv-shows. But now . . . now, you’re not okay with the emptiness in your apartment.
All your friends were happy in relationships, married or with kids. And you with your dozens and dozens of awards. It’s not quite the same. You’ve never quite had enough time to like anyone, to go on dates, to even have sex. Quite frankly, you’re very much devoid of all male attention.
And then you get the opportunity to work with your favourite rapper.
“How did that sound?” You stare at Deokkwang through the glass, speaking into the microphone. “I think I could’ve pronounced the last few words better, you know?” You’re nervous. You’ve worked with rappers before like Simon Dominic, Jay Park, Loco – even Drunken Tiger JK. But you’ve never worked with someone like Deokkwang who you happen to have the biggest crush on.
It was your manager that set this all up – you knew you were collaborating with someone but when you walked into the studio months and months ago, you didn’t think it would’ve been Deokkwang.
“You sounded great, y/n.” Deokkwang says back and you feel yourself smiling at the praise. You can’t but think about how this process has gone so quickly – it felt like only yesterday you greeted him at the studio. Now, almost two months later, the song was ready to be mixed down and reviewed by the big bosses. You wouldn’t say you both were friends, but you can’t deny the fond feelings you have for him. “I don’t think we’ve could’ve done better if we even tried.”
You come out of the booth, a bittersweet feeling flowing through you. You sit across from Deokkwang and he listens to the entire mix with you. It sounds good – you’re a pop idol while Deokkwang is a fast-paced rapper and it’s a good mix. You can feel yourself bopping along and in the corner of your eye, Deokkwang looks at you before looking away. You’re not shy but around him, you curl into yourself.
“I really like this.” You say, excitedly once the song ends, turning to Deokkwang. “I can’t wait to release it.” You reach for the water that sits between you and so does Deokkwang. Your fingers brush together and you find yourself getting embarrassed. You quickly retract your hand and let out a small laugh.
“It sounds really good – your voice is really nice. We’re a good mix together.” Deokkwang lets out a laugh as well. You didn’t want this to end. Would it be too forward to tell him you wanted to maybe see him again? “We should do this again.” And your eyes meet. Properly. You liked people before, from afar, never up close like this. Deokkwang is exactly how you’d imagine him – funny, bashful, full of never ending conversation. But then, he can be shy. Soft and sweet. It feels like the moment, you know, the moment when you realise that you want to see this person again and again.
“Deokkwang,” You should tell him. Months of awkward moment when you’d catch his eye when he’d think you’re not looking. You feel yourself moving forward on the chair and you can see Deokkwang doing the same. Was this it? was this the moment you’ve been waiting for? You’re both pulled out by the sound of your phone ringing with your managers number plastered across. He’s probably waiting downstairs for you. Leaning back with a cough, you grab your phone declining the call.
“You don’t want to keep your manager waiting, right?” Deokkwang turns away from you, cheeks red. “Should I walk you out?”
“No, stay.” You insist. You don’t think you can stand in an elevator with Deokkwang without doing something like trying to kiss him. Instead you pack up and it’s quiet. “I guess this is it.” You say instead, grabbing your bag from the floor. You awkwardly linger around the chair, biting your lip. You didn’t want this to be over so quickly. “Hopefully we work together again, Deokkwang . . . you’re really great and I’d like to, uh, do this again. With you.” You shyly say. You don’t know what you expect.
“Yeah, totally.” But certainly not that half-hearted response. “Next time.” Definitely not the how he extends his hand for a firm handshake. You look at his hand and back at him. Really? A handshake? You’ve written a song about love and first meetings and this is how it ends? Irony at its finest.
You try not to look incredibly disappointed, but it shows. You take his hand, shake it and leave with that horrible deflating feeling inside of your body.
You leave the building, feeling colder than Seoul as you hop into the car. You don’t even acknowledge your manager properly. You keep quiet during the ride back to your apartment. You don’t know what you expected, maybe to be friends. Maybe to even go out for coffee or dinner. Just not a handshake.
‘song go ok?’ your best friend texts you. You groan, turning the screen off on your phone. Your manager gives you a sympathetic look through the mirror.
By the time you get home and get undressed, you’re still reeling about todays events. You shuffle around your bedroom, staring at your phone. Maybe you should text him? You might as well. You’re deliberating it enough. Before you can touch any buttons on your phone, your doorbell goes off and you frown. Who was coming to your apartment this late? It goes off again and you groan.
Shuffling towards the door, you look through the screen to see Deokkwang standing outside. Your heart lurches and you can feel yourself sweating.
“Deokkwang?” You say through the intercom. He looks up to the camera with a lopsided smile and you hold yourself back from cooing.
“Hey.” You can hear how nervous he is. “Sorry it’s late y/n but, uh, could we talk?”
“Yes!” You say too quickly. You press the buzzer and immediately through yourself to your room, grabbing your dressing gown and looking at yourself in the mirror. Not too bad. You hear the door click open, spray yourself down before almost slipping onto the floor to look as causal as possible. You stand against the wall, hearing the door unlock and you feel your stomach fill with butterflies. Deokkwang walks in nervously with a bag and you smile.
“Deokkwang, this is such a surprise.” You try and keep the excitement out of your body. “If I knew you were coming I would’ve . . .” you trailed off to your pyjamas. You can’t help but giggle.
“You left your jacket earlier.” Your smile drops at Deokkwangs voice. Right. Why would he be here for any other reason? All you did was work on a song together, barely even became friends. “I just wanted to drop it over.”
“Oh.” You say, sighing, curling into yourself. “You could’ve just told my manager, he would’ve collected it tomorrow.” You try not to sound disappointed. He places the bag by your feet. “Thank you.” You say. You can’t even fake a smile. Deokkwang nods, an awkward smile placing itself on his face. you both stand there for a minute before Deokkwang looks around, hands tapping against his side.
“Nice place, by the way.” He compliments.
“Thanks.” You can’t stop from feeling bitter. You can’t fake happiness now. You’ve never felt more rejected than you have right now. You’ve never wanted someone to like you so much than you have in this moment. “It’s late and I’m tired.” You state, annoyed. Deokkwang agrees with a silent nod.
“Well,” Deokkwang points to the hallway. “I’ll let myself out.” You don’t say anything but nod and watch how he leaves quietly.
You weren’t one to pretend that you don’t have feelings for someone. You’re not one to stand around idly. If you want something, you’ll get it, no matter what. Your feet carry you to the door, catching Deokkwangs’ wrist as he opens the handle.
“Wait.” You say, slightly breathless. “Did you really come here to just drop off my jacket? There was no other reason? You just wanted to be nice? Not anything else?” Deokkwang swallows, shrugging.
“I just – yeah. I wanted to be nice.” You let go of his wrist. “Is that a problem?” He sounds confused.
“Yes.” You say, suddenly feeling angry. You can’t stop the narrowing of your eyebrows as you hold his wrist. “It is a problem actually.”
“Oh?” Deokkwang blinks at you. You retract your hand, folding your arms together. “I thought . . . it’s cold and it’s a nice jacket.” He explains and it’s stupid. Stupid and cute and you hate how Deokkwang looks like he just got a cold bucket of water poured down himself. “It’s winter, y/n.”
“Don’t come here again.” You say, upset. “I don’t want to see you, Deokkwang. Once promotions are over, we shouldn’t see each other again.” You watch his face to see his expression. Deokkwang stares at you blankly, eyes unblinking. You sigh. “I like you.” You say, with as much confidence as possible. You find yourself suddenly not able to meet his eyes. “I like you a lot, Deokkwang. And I just – it makes me just –,” you shake your head.
“You like me?” Deokkwang says before gesturing to himself. “Me?”
“I said I wanted to see you again!” You exclaim, throwing your hands up. “Our hands always touched, and I would get so embarrassed and – and the first time I met, I told you that you happen to be my favourite rapper.” You don’t even want to think about the first time you met and how you were buzzing with excitement about seeing Deokkwang in person. “I told you I wanted to do this again with you and all you said was ‘yeah okay.’”
“Y/n . . . “ Deokkwang trails off, blinking.
“I get it. I’m not your type or whatever.” You mumble.
“No,” Deokkwang says, shaking his head. “I just . . . you think I’m attractive? Y/L/N Y/N? The nations daughter? You think that I’m . . . your type?” You blink. What? “I thought that – god, I thought I was making it up. You’re so nice and I thought you were just being nice.”
“I was being nice.” You counter back. “But I . . . I wanted to be extra nice to you.” Deokkwang lets out a loud laugh before looking at you with a smile.
“I came here because I wanted to ask you out, y/n. But I didn’t know how, and I thought bringing your jacket would be a good idea but as soon as I saw you – god, I couldn’t do it.” You heart skips a beat. Deokkwang wanted to ask you out? “But I guess you’ve beat me too it, huh?” This . . . this was unexpected. Deokkwang having the same feelings for you? Deokkwang having the same feelings for you this whole time? Deokkwang thinking he wasn’t good enough for you?
“I like you, Deokkwang.” You admit, sheepishly. “I think you’re great.”
“I think you’re great.” He says back, an embarrassed smile on his face.
“And I think that you’re the most attractive guy I’ve ever seen.” You say. His face goes red. “And I want to get to know you more . . . if that’s okay?” You tack on at the end and he nods rapidly.
“If that’s the case,” Deokkwang draws out, hand reaching out to take yours, which you gladly accept and let your fingers tangle with his. “Y/n, can I take you out for coffee tomorrow?”
“I’d love that.”
#hash swan imagines#hash swan scenarios#han deokkwang#han deokkwang imagines#han deokkwang scenarios#ambition musik imagines#khh writer#khh x reader#khh scenarios#khh imagines
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I was tagged by my love @monojoons 💖💖💖 to talk about the “5 BTS songs to get to know me” thank you bby iluiluilu so hold on tight folks! this is gonna be So Fucking Cheesy all aboard the lipids train in which shirley blubbers over how much she loves bangtan!!!! on train we serve triglyceride as all 7 of our meals!!!!!!!
I tag my loves @cafejoon @stargazingjin @yunkisunbae @ksj1 @jincentvangogh @yourdelights @yooniversaire @suggable🌸🌸🌸
before you sweethearts go on tho im gonna need set some warnings: theres a very brief mention about accidental injuries, medical complications, car accidents, hospitals when I talk about so far away so pls be careful. I love you mwah mwah mwah 💖💖💖
1. Dead Leaves - The Most Beautiful Moment in Life, pt. 2 (2015)
I was a Very Casual ‘oh my moots are listening to them I guess ill satisfy my curiosity and listen too’ listener of bangtan in the ye olde days until I heard this song and absolutely lost all my marbles. like I remember when they first debuted and my dash was...full of gifs of their mvs.....and like I was a H U G E fan of bap and block b and exo back then and really didnt care for bts’ sound or image or the idol hiphop nonsense back then. and then there was all this drama and fan wars and controversy which further turned me off and. god. high school shirley was So Fucking Pretentious like I liked epik high and tiger jk and thought I was Peak Hiphop and I didnt care for other tomfoolery.
I became a fan when I Need U rolled out and then hyyh2 dropped and this song came up and absolutely shattered everything I knew about music and lyricism to my classical trained ears. like I cant fully explain to you how absolutely yoongi is a musical genius he fucking???? did that!!!! and made it sound good??????? what fucking hogwash witchcraft bullshit????????????? (it also doesnt escape my notice that one of the few songs that jin opens was the song that signed me up as an army thank you king we dont deserve you)
2. Awake - Wings (2017)
this song fucking tore me to shreds. like the album dropped during a full day of econ and math lectures so I couldn't actually listen until I got back to the dorms, so my roommates set up the mv and album for me as soon as I got home (after a whole bunch of teasing and screaming in the gc) and I was still mentally recovering from The Kiss(tm) (srsly I screamed loud enough our RA ran into our dorm thinking we were being murdered) and then awake happened and I just.....emotionally eviscerated. fuck. it hit me so hard.
this is also really special to me bc I became a hardcore Seokjin stan after hearing this live at the Wings tour in Newark (I know!!! who was I before I became Enlightened and stanned the icon of our generation the king of the universe kim seokjin ah wow poor nirvana-less past shirley its ok you were valid bby soon you will understand) and then seeing them win the MAMAs and them look so shocked and crying made me realize I was in this bangtan shit for life.
3. Epilogue: Young Forever - The Most Beautiful Moment in Life: Young Forever (2016)
this song came out right towards the end of my freshman year in college when I had a lot of shit going on in my life and it kinda felt like the world was collapsing around me no matter what........and.......not to be dramatic............this song came along and uplifted me into a better place. they came during a time where I was barely hanging on and said ‘its ok. we understand. you got this.’ every time I heard this song it felt like I was being swaddled in that fluffy sunshine yellow blanket jimin has in serendipity and I was safe and loved and cared for.
fuck I still cant even listen to ‘dreams, hope, forward, forward’ bc the korean for ‘forward’ sounds so much like a mixture of chinese and japanese and it felt so hopeful.....like I was being supported by people who sincerely wanted the best for me even if they didnt know me and thats......just such a lovely feeling to have. music really transcends all barriers. thank you BTS.
4. Intro: Never Mind - The Most Beautiful Moment in Life, pt. 2 (2015)
this fucking song defined my entire freshman year. it got me my first crazy college story (my first friend in college and I were jamming and yelling to this song when the ra from the floor above thought we were doing beer pong with like 2 dozen other people and literally stormed our room when really it was just the two of us and some microwaved instant ramen and our leaning tower of notes acting as the dj tower), my first friends in college, my first bts bias, my first taste of feeling like finding your musical soulmate, my first understanding of truly respecting and analyzing and contemplating an artist for their craft outside of doing it in school......I might have been already been in the kpop scene way before bangtan, but it was really truly bangtan that I truly grew up with if that makes sense
fun fact: you know the memory hack where if you listen to one song and cram, then you think of the song if ur stuck and then BAM you remember? kinda like chewing the same flavor of gum during ur exams as when you are studying but better for the environment? well yea. I did that during my finals that year and I Really Fucking Annoyed all my neighbors by rapping (super badly) to never mind (yes even the korean. yes I may be Asian but I have No Talent speaking in korean. so yes you can imagine how terrible I would sound rapping in korean) on all 8 of my written finals (important tip from future shirley: the life of a double major is hell. don't do it. dont be like me. learn from me. you will d i e)
5. So Far Away ft. Jin, Jungkook - BTS Festa 2017
this is the song that sings me to sleep at night and keeps me sane. god where do I even begin. ok. so agust d? the best thing to have happen to barely adult shirley. thank you min yoongi for embracing all of us and letting us into even the dark ugly parts of your personal struggles. suran? my actual queen. ive loved her since she featured on callin in love and mannequin w beenzino and primary and when I heard she was back and featured on a yoongi song? I fucking lost it. best song on the album next to tony montana and the last.
anyways, set scene: a freshly minted jin stan barely adulting shirley who hardly has her life together, and festa came and dropped this masterpiece in her lap. cue: cathartic crying for like 5 hours fresh from a semi-serious car accident and a bunch of medical complications and family issues. cue: latching onto this song as an emotional crutch, and later, emotional support song. I listen to this song at least once a day. I will go off to war for this song.
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yes the majority of this list is all music yoongi has written and didn't include any of the songs in the last 2 series.....listen bangtan came during a very specific 2 year period where I was really not doing well and then saved me (save me I need ur love before I fall.) im really thankful they were with me during that time and, like that dude said in the commentary, their music is really going to be with me for the rest of my life and it makes me so proud and gratified that they have touched millions of lives and made them even a smidge brighter. thank you for giving me a path through the darkness, thank you for picking me up and encouraged me through the hard patches, thank you for giving me a family and joy and belief in not only myself but in others as well, thank you for being there for all of us. thank you.
#I know I have like 3 hyyh songs on here but like....when I said hyyh 2 absolutely changed me in the most fundamental way....I really mean it#did I write a love letter to all these songs like the true extra human that I am? mayhaps#I left out a lot of songs bc I do have SOME self control ok#spring day/best of me/dont leave me/house of cards/this entire new album were all in the running#not to mention epiphany and answer: love yourself and ddaeng and the cyphers and just dance and-#you get the idea#if got through this entire doozy thank you im sorry im so rambly I love you#im sorry this got kinda dark really quickly#injury tw#hospital tw#hash tag games#im sorry this took me so long but I have a lot of Emotions post-album drop
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bae jinyoung’s private TRC audition
rapping to lose yourself by eminem ft. a ukulele
(0:00-1:47)
come to think of it, he never really envisioned this particular situation ever happening.
jordan anthony bae getting scouted after singing some really weird song he was pretty sure not many people in seoul had ever heard of before. because come on, who thought that was ever going to happen? he certainly didn’t. so when he had been handed that business card and told to call to make an audition by some creepy guy dressed all in dark clothes he had though he had just hallucinated the whole thing. the guy who had handed it to him in the first place had sort of looked like something you might see in one of your nightmares. maybe he was so high of the adrenaline from performing that he’d made everything up on the spot. that sounded plausible enough. however, when he got home from the event and reached into his pockets and found the card again, it turned out it had actually happened and they were probably expecting a phone call from him.
and he was not someone who liked to disappoint, so had picked up that phone and scheduled an audition without even considering what he was getting himself into.
it was only once he put the phone did he realize what he had gone and done. what an idiot he was. jordan knew full well that his brain went and worked faster than the rest of him and it usually meant he got himself stuck in some situation he had to struggle through, but this was something else entirely. while it would not the be the first time performing and making a fool of himself, this was supposed to be a serious audition.
people’s futures generally relied on these auditions and he had absolutely no dreams to really be an idol. he just sung and played the ukulele for the fun of it on youtube. but many people his age were fighting every day of their lives for a chance to debut, or even get noticed by a company in the first place. and him, the dumb american who did nothing but mess around and make shit explode had been handed a business card by one of the biggest companies in all of south korea.
admittedly, he almost felt a little guilty about it. but, now he had scheduled an audition he knew he was not going to back of things now. he was going to show up and he was going to have to come up with a performance to show. though he promised himself then and there that he wasn’t going to change just because this might be serious. he was going to go in there and be himself and screw what everyone thought about it. it was not like he really cared about the result, trc would know exactly what they would be getting if they somehow decided they wanted him under their label.
and when they realised what they would get, they would probably regret ever approaching him in the first place.
step one of the process was working out what he was going to be doing. dancing was completely out of the question, and as he was told he couldn’t sing, he supposed he was just going to have to rap something. second step was trying to work out what song he would actually be comfortable enough with rapping. it was not like he was a main rapper or anything, the only rap songs he had ever done was while wearing sunglasses and aggressively headbanging for youtube.
it had taken some days to come up with song and many many hours lounging back on his sofa humming under his breath and aimlessly plucking at his ukulele for some sort of inspiration. and that was exactly how he ended up coming up with a decision. he’d just been sitting there, ukulele resting on his chest as he plucked at the strings aimlessly as he watched some youtube video. that’s when he realised he had subconsciously started to play eminem. perhaps a bit of a weird and bold choice, and it was in english and not in korean, but they hadn’t specified that the song had to be a korean song. all they had told him that he couldn’t sing. and they hadn’t said anything about not being aloud to bring his ukulele with him as well.
so, with that all decided, all it took now was the rest of his time to sit around and practice and get the chords correct. the second part wasn’t hard, he had a good ear for this kind of thing and within the hour he was strumming out the correct melody and had the whole song down to a T. it was the first part which took the time. while he did have plans of getting some youtube content posted, all of that was put to the side for the time being, a small apology posted on his instagram and twitter, just stating that ‘something had come up’ and there wouldn’t be any videos for a little bit. and with that out of the way he could now spend all his time trying to get this stupid song sorted in his head ready to perform for an audition.
by the end of it all he still wouldn’t really say that he was rapper material. still just some idiot university student looking to have a good time and bring enjoyment to people. but he supposed that idols were sort of the same, they brought joy to people all of the time so what was the difference between him and them? well, besides the fact they were all ten times more talented than he was and ten times better looking as well and the years and years of training they had behind them. but besides that. nothing.
cutting down the song to under two minutes was also an easy enough job and had only taken him a couple of minutes and a stopwatch app on his phone. and, with that all done and dusted he supposed there was nothing holding him back from the audition. while he was sure that it was not going to go well. not because he would mess something up, but because they would be completely baffled by what they were being forced to sit through. maybe he should make a personal goal to actually get through the audition without being kicked out of the building? that would be a nice goal, though maybe unlikely considering this was him they were talking about here.
the day of the audition dawned and jordan was in usual high spirits about everything. he wasn’t worried in the slightest about what he was going to do. it would be amusing, probably just for himself, and that was all he really cared about. it was not really like he was planning on getting himself a contract and actually worrying about being a trainee. how could he be a trainee, run his two youtube channels and attend all his lectures at the same time? he was only human and he could only do so much. besides, it was not like he would have to worry about it because the contract would likely go to someone far more talented and worthy than him. someone who actually cared deeply about this life.
grabbing a certain something and slipping them into the pocket of his jacket, jordan grabbed one of his many ukulele’s on the way out, easily slinging it across his back as he shoved his hands into his pockets, making sure to lock the front door before he left. because he couldn’t leave it open, what happened if he got robbed or something?
there was a whistle on his lips as he walked the distance between his home and the company building, a grin on his face and hands shoved leisurely into his pockets. there was absolutely nothing he was worried about, what was really the worst that could happen? they didn’t offer him a contract. that was hardly the end of the world. maybe if he cared more about being an idol then he would be pretty heartbroken to be rejected, but he didn’t worry about that sort of stuff. this was just for fun. mostly.
introducing himself at the front desk, he couldn’t help but notice the rather strange look the receptionist was giving him. not that jordan paid her any mind, just grinning the whole time he was pointed towards some seats to wait in until he was called for his audition. jordan simply thanked the woman as he moved towards them, taking the ukulele off his back so he could sit down, though he more slouched than sat while he waited, resting the back of his head against the top of the chair, humming rather pleasantly as he stared up at the ceiling.
only when he heard his name did he lower his head again, fighting off the wide grin as he practically jumped up to his feet. this was it, he supposed. there really was no turning back now. well, he supposed he could just turn around and leave without a word, but why would he want to do that now he had bothered to come all the way here and spent all those hours coming up with a song and practising?
he was led through the corridors towards one of the rooms and told to enter, but he paused just outside the door. instead of walking straight in he rummaged in his pockets for a moment, grinning as his hands wrapped around his sunglasses. he had promised himself he was going to be himself and this was all part of that. unfolding them with one hand, he easily slipped them up his nose, ruffled up the front of his hair with the same hand before reaching out and pushing open the door and walking into his fate.
what he didn’t expect to see was tiger jk sitting there.
it seems when he had made his audition they had decided not to tell him that the ceo of the whole bloody company was going to be sitting in watching him. that was probably an important detail they should have told him before he had walked into the room with sunglasses on. but now it was a little too late to back from things now, just grinning as he pushed the sunglasses back up his nose, casually strolling towards the middle of the room. and that’s where he stopped, turning to face the front in almost a military manner before bowing forward, holding his ukulele close to him to stop it just hanging there.
“yo,” he spoke in a rather casual tone despite the seriousness of the whole situation, “i’m the ukuele guy. or, you know, bae jinyoung. but i usually just go by jordan, really.” he probably shouldn’t be speaking so casually about this, but he couldn’t help himself. they were going to see his true colours. and he was actually just a little surprised he hadn’t been asked to leave the building already. “just want to say thanks for the opportunity and all,” at least he was still being somewhat polite about everything. he was speaking to the ceo here and not just some random judges, “i’m going to be sure to put on a show for you. i hope you enjoy. also i do apologize in advance for my rapping,” he cut off with a small laugh and a smile, “i’m not that much of a rapper. but i’m going to give it a go.”
maybe he should just stop talking and get on with things now. he was here to perform, not to stand there and blather about meaningless things. “anyway,” he rubbed the back of his neck before smiling and bowing forward again, “listen well and enjoy.” it was all he could really say about what was about to happen before he cleared his throat, glancing down at the instrument against his chest.
well, no turning back now.
he took just a moment to compose himself before starting to pluck at the strings, the familiar opening to ‘lose yourself’ coming out in ukulele form as he rocked a little on his feet. it was just easing into things. he’d decided to include the intro as well because he simply thought it sounded better, and because he admittedly did want to show off a little with the ukulele as well instead of just standing there and simply rapping. he’d also decided to go more than just a couple of seconds under two minutes because that also just fit better. a lot of rapping happened in that time so he wasn’t really worried about it and he was sure it would all turn out for the best.
look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
to seize everything you ever wanted, in one moment
would you capture it, or just let it slip?
he was speaking the familiar lyrics, trying very hard to die down on the boston accent which usually accompanied his english. you just couldn’t rap well with a heavy boston accent, he had found that out the hard way. he also found that his head was already banging just a little, up and down in a steady motion in time with the strums on the ukulele strings, almost out of habit at this point. he was the ukulele guy, the sunglasses wearing headbanging musician known by quite a few thousand people on youtube. and now these judges and tiger jk himself were going to know that as well.
whether they wanted to or not.
yo! his palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
there's vomit on his sweater already: mom's spaghetti
he's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
to drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting
what he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
he opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
he's choking, how? everybody's joking now
the clock's run out, time's up, over, blaow!
maybe he was having more fun with this than he thought he would, but it was pretty fun to try and rap even though he knew he was no high class rapper. and even if he had chosen a korean song he knew it would just be the same. everything would end with him standing here, a ukulele around his neck and sunglasses pushed up over his nose and head rocking up and down in a rhythmic motion whether he wanted it to or not. and he was perfectly alright with that, no point in trying to be someone he was not just because he thought it might make people think he was weird. because yeah, he was weird, everyone said so and it was the reason a lot of people watched his youtube covers in the first place.
snap back to reality, ope there goes gravity, ope
there goes rabbit, he choked, he's so mad but he won't
give up that easy, no, he won't have it, he knows
his whole back's to these ropes, it don't matter, he's dope
he knows that but he's broke, he's so stagnant, he knows
when he goes back to this mobile home, that's when it's
back to the lab again yo, this whole rhapsody
better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him, and
it was going straight into the chorus and jordan was showing no signs of slowing down. the rocking motion had moved from his head and was now taking over his entire body at this point. and he was grinning the whole time through his words. his fingers never stopped plucking at the ukulele strings, keeping the song going towards the best part as he broke out into his true performer mode. nothing holding him back now, he hadn’t been told to stop so they were simply going to get the whole deal. this was him and he was not backing down now.
you better lose yourself in the music
the moment, you own it, you better never let it go
you only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
this opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo
you better lose yourself in the music
the moment, you own it, you better never let it go
you only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
this opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo
he finished with one dramatic strum of the ukulele, a large grin on his features, head bowed just a little as he struck some sort of rocker pose, one hand towards the sky in a rock symbol. though he didn’t hold the position for very long, straightening out again as he gave a rather toothy grin towards the judges and tiger jk. “betcha weren’t expecting that, huh?” he really couldn’t help himself, keeping the grin on his face, catching his ukulele with one hand as he bowed forward again now his performance was over and done with. though his sunglasses slipped forward as he bent forward, so he pushed them back up his nose when he stood up straight again.
“thank you for listening and thank you again for the opportunity. it was fun,” and it really was, if not shown by the expression on the face and how much fun he had just had. maybe rapping wasn’t all that bad and while he was sure he was not about to become some world renown rapper, he didn’t care.
but he couldn’t stay for any longer, bowing forward again to try and see polite as possible before moving back towards the door. though he couldn’t help himself as he turned his head, making a phone signal with his hand as he raised it to his ears, mouthing a quick ‘call me’ as he reached the door. though he realised how stupid he was being, letting out a large laugh at himself as he shook his head, the grin still on his face the whole time as he pushed open the door from the audition room and back into the hallway he had come from.
when he was outside the door he just stood there for a moment, grinning at the wall before laughing out loud, shaking his head as he thought back on what had just happened. he had really just asked tiger jk, the tiger jk to call him with a cheeky grin on his face. after performing that song. what on earth must those people in that room think of him now? ah well, it was a little late to take back what he had just done, but as he took the sunglasses off and tucked them back into his pocket he found he really didn’t care much what they thought about him.
this was who he was, the american born nineteen year old dumbass who made a fool of himself online for the hell of it and for the enjoyment or others. there was no point in pretending that he was anyone else. and if they wanted to take a chance on him even after seeing this, then they were just going to have to accept the real him. nothing less than that. because he would not play to some silly standards just to seem ‘normal’ to the rest of the word. he was jordan anthony bae and he was going to be the foolish musician until the day he breathed his last. and the world better accept that.
#rkwinterscout#❛ solo#❛ word count: 3005 w/o lyrics#❛ word count: 3266#(what did you think he was going to take this seriously)#(it's long again I'm SORRY)#(the header is me @ jordan because goddammit kid you're a handful)#(yes i wrote a 3K word solo at 3/4am what of it?)#(when rkjordan wants to write the kid wants to write)#(it's just memes)
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Rules: Answer ten questions, ask ten, tag 10.
Tagging: Anyone. I’ve seen quite a few people tagged and idk who wants to do this
Tagged by: @myriadimagines
What’s something you’re looking forward to?
Right now. Just being able to go to the movies when it’s safe. There’s so much that I’ve been wanting to see but can’t leave the house and the theater is closed anyway
If you could have any animal in the world as a talking companion (like in His Dark Materials), what animal would you choose?
Easy. A tiger
What was the last movie you cried to?
None. I’ve never cried during a movie
What’s a song you’ve had on repeat lately?
Nothing really. Whatever spotify suggests mainly
If you could bring one fictional character that’s been killed off back to life, who would it be?
I’m not as into Harry Potter as I once was but I still believe JK Rowling did the Weasley twins dirty.
Can you play any instruments? If not, what instruments have you always wanted to play?
I play guitar and flute
If you could give yourself another name, what name would you choose?
Well technically I did with giving myself the name Noah. But I’ve considered many a different one and Marek happened to be one of the few
What’s a skill you wish you could instantly master
Blacksmithing (is that how you say it?). I’d love to be able to craft things in a forge
What would you rather explore, the deep sea or outer space?
Outer Space. I have an irrational fear of deep sea fish, that would not bode well
Despite 2020 being a shitshow so far, what’s one good thing that’s happened to you this year?
Genuinely I can’t think of anything. 2020 hasn’t been bad for me so far but it’s been mediocre
My Ten Questions:
What is one movie you think everyone should see at least once?
What’s a memorable quote from the last thing you’ve read (book, fan fiction, etc)?
Do you have a lucky number?
If you could be fluent in three languages right now, which three would you pick?
Would you rather have the ability to shape-shift or the ability to talk to animals?
What would your job be if you could create one for yourself?
Is there food you find that you’re a master of cooking?
If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be?
What is the last song you listened to?
What advice would you give your 5 year old self?
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// Call Me GRAY | SOLO
the underground scene was a whole new world to him, the boy who just happened to like music. he was interested in all kinds of music, had always admired those who would be able to create pieces of passion from nothingness. for a long time now, he had been writing down his thoughts to handle the pressures of daily life, and it had turned into a habit. banning the pain of adolescence onto paper, seonghwa never stopped writing, slowly turned his thoughts into more meaningful lines, learning to put them together to lyrics by listening closely to those he admired for the longest time.
Be confident What on earth is your dream? It's you-you that are in control of your own life Live the life you desire; don't crouch Why should money be the standard of success for everyone? Why? I want to ask you "Are you happy?" Yeah, actually, life is kind of unfair Everyone has a different starting line We learned and know that life is running a marathon
tiger jk was the man that kept him going, kept inspiring him, kept the fire within him alive. he was the reason to drive his trapped feelings out, gave him a base to deal with what he was fighting with. just because of him seonghwa had started learn rapping, had failed and raised himself again over and over again. there was a fascination for tiger jk's skill and style, for the stories he would tell through his songs and the life that seemed far away from worldly problems, that made him into seonghwa's role model. he was still years, maybe life times away to come close to the man he admired the most, so it came as a surprise when a friend stole a look at his scribblings and became interested in the roughness and simplicity in his writing.
"Crisis"[위기] is a compound word of risk[위험] and chance[기회] If you want to take a crisis as a chance, hit it right now Straighten up your slouched shoulders Born as a human being, try leaving your name [in history] Yeah, grease it The dream that was rusty; I hope you hold it now Life is long; it's too early to give up after some falls Where's the dream you've got?
for some time seonghwa had wondered about the future that was awaiting for him. he wasn't coming from a wealthy family, in fact they had their fair share of miserabilities throughout their lives, and he couldn't see where his path would lead him to. wanting to support his family, wishing to be able to be provide for them in case of need, was urging him to stay levelheaded and realistic. so why was his friend's little praise, the small words about liking his writing enough to pull him in and tempt him to try his luck? at the same time he was introduced to the underground scene and slowly started to opening up to those sincere and honest people that would be smiled at by the society for not fitting in the general frame. they were good people, taught him a lot of things he would have never learned without their help. he was just some ordinary guy, a story teller with an inconventional way of expressing the rawness of everyday life. he fit right into the rows of good people and soon they became a family that would catch him whenever he failed another audition or another casting. soon the number of attempts to send in his songs, to get into a company was lost in track and he was thrown off, starting to pursue a more realistic path of career instead.
Why do you worry much? There are a lot of more interesting things than what you see Life's so good Why do you worry much? There are a lot of more interesting things than what you see Life's so good
without his friends from the underground scene seonghwa would have buried his dream along the way, but instead they riled him up, urged him to never give up on his dreams. they were part of his identity, part of his pride and part of his development. he pursued his dream of becoming an artist just like his role model, dreamt of becoming the underdog to stand side by side with the tiger some day. but things weren't meant to be, and the graduated body- and security guard faced failure and rejection more often than being blessed with success and acceptance. he lost himself in alcohol and lonely nights, fell into a hole of despair. how many times had he run into dead ends, about to call it quits and leave it be? but still turned back around to find a way back into the light?
A well-off family only can make you well-off? Don't blame your parents; it's because of your [in]capability Develop the habit of doing on your own whatever you do Either it goes right or not, it's because of yourself Basically, nothing is easy Bet your all, try all in [as in gambling games], all Give a dare; what makes you so scared again? With only bluffing, you can't see ahead of yourself Many people walk following other people instead of walking on their own way Expecting too much at their first attempt, they persist and insist Their heart can't have a chance to be touched or beat fast You're a component of a system It's still not late, so further your dream And the world will know what you've been dreaming
there was still so much more he wanted to show the world, so much more he wanted to leave behind, when he wasn't anymore one day. he wasn't only the nice guy from next door, wasn't just a short guy who knew how to kick and how to box, wasn't just someone who just existed for the purpose to be. he was so much more, he was someone to live for the purpose to live his life to the fullest and pursue his dreams.
No need to worry too much Be careful of that mire since the deeper[/more] you go the more complicated life gets There's not any perfection that everyone dreams The answer is near you, so look around Thinking "I'm the only person alone," is a shortcut to loneliness When you open the third eye after just one step backward, you'll easily get to know what you've missed and lost Ask [someone] for help instead of moaning to yourself; ask [how to do] when you're unsure The world is wide; you have plenty of time No such thing as being late; unwrinkle your forehead instead of smoking [담배를 피우다, 미간을 펴다] Regret no more what's past Shout for new days to come, wattup Wassup, young world, what it do Never give up As long as we breathe, we're special You've come this far, so go further Just follow your mind[/heart] not your head
his friend turns around in the his friend turns in the chair and looks at him in awe. he seemed to like the song. "i really like it, seonghwa-ah." he shakes his head and confuses his friend with that kind of answer. a grin forms on his lips. "call me gray, hyung. from now on i'll show every shade of me."
My head that's used to get caught up and memories of it I believe it's all my fault The evil in my mind fetters So it depends on the mind I've said it before From the bottom to the top now I'm all ready for one more dash[/ running quickly] Yeah, I'll be the one
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Private Audition for SPHERE ENTERTAINMENT
Date: 14th November 2019
Location: Sphere Entertainment building, Itaewon, Seoul
Song: ‘Real Fact’ by Jang Moonbok, ft. Seong Hyunwoo and Yoon Heeseok (00:23-00:41, 00:44-01:08, 01:16-02:02) [Timing arranged to fit within time limit]
Outfit: x
Gif credit: Donghans
It feels like fate to have his audition on the 14th of November. While Chaewon is sitting her CSAT, here’s Moonbok, sitting outside the audition room at Sphere Entertainment. If he wasn’t so nervous, Moonbok would have laughed at how it all worked out. And even despite the nerves there’s a thrill of excitement. He’s about to do what he’d promised (threatened) he’d do when he was 12 years old; audition for an entertainment company. Every so often, Moonbok can feel himself starting to grin like an idiot and he has to try to force his expression into something a little more mature and calm looking.
It’s not like this is his first audition, after all.
He’s still somewhat bewildered that he was scouted walking around in a glorified cosplay, doing nothing of note. And yet, nothing came from his efforts at the MGAs or the TRC Triple Threat Challenge except disappointment and humiliation on national television. It’s why (yet again) Moonbok hasn’t told anyone except Yena and Yoona that he was scouted. After all, if he doesn’t tell his family and he succeeds, it’ll be a (hopefully) pleasant surprise for them. If he fails, well, at least only he and the girls will know and he’ll have spared his family the humiliation at being rejected for a fourth time in 12 months.
Rubbing the bridge of his nose, he scans his lyrics yet again. After getting Yena’s approval, he’d decided to go with a song he’d been writing for his audition instead of simply covering another artist. He’d intended on saving it as a collab piece for him and some other members of odd society, but after looking back over it, Moonbok had realized that the song was a good way to show off a side of him that he’d never really displayed musically. And given that he was performing for Baek Jiyoung herself, Moonbok knows he has to leave an impression this time. He didn’t want her to still think he was ‘coasting’ in his journey to become an idol.
Truth be told, that was still one of the most painful things anyone had ever said to him. Had it been from anybody else, even one of the other Big Five CEOs, perhaps he would have gotten over it in time. But because it was Baek Jiyoung, the CEO he admired, it had been like she’d stabbed him in the heart that day.
No. Being stabbed in the heart would have hurt less.
He shakes his head firmly with a soft noise of disapproval. Now was not the time to think about this summer. That was then, in the past. What matters is what’s happening today, now.
His stomach rumbles and Moonbok is glad he’s alone, not that it stops him from making an irritated face. When he’d gotten up that morning, all he’d been able to stomach was a cup of coffee and even then he’d abandoned it halfway through. Figures that his stomach would complain about being empty just before he auditioned. That said, it could also be his nerves too.
Not that he’s nervous for just himself, that is. He can’t help but wonder how Yoona’s audition will turn out. Will his cousin get a contract? He hopes so. Moonbok is still in shock that both of them were scouted (albeit by different companies) at the same time. Another intervention of Fate?
Before he has much time to think about it, the door opposite him swings open and a staff member steps out. Moonbok almost has a minor heart attack, his hands clutching hard at the seat beneath him as the words he’d both been waiting for and fearing rang out in the corridor.
“Jang Moonbok? We’re ready for you now.”
“Coming!”
Hurriedly clambering to his feet, Moonbok brushes himself down, straightening his shirt and sliding the sheet of lyrics back into his sling bag, having no need for them now. (But he still wasn’t going to leave them lying around where anyone could take off with them, it’s still an unreleased song, after all. His unreleased song, come to that.) Taking a steadying breath and saying a quick prayer to himself for luck and strength, he makes his way into the room.
Even though he’s been in front of Tiger JK for the Triple Threat Challenge and the entirety of the Big Five for the MGAs, he still can’t help but feel somewhat intimidated at the panel watching him enter, particularly when Baek Jiyoung herself is seated in the middle of the other assessors. However, nervous as he is, Moonbok gives the panel a sunny smile and bows deeply.
“Hello! My name is Jang Moonbok, thank you so much for inviting me here today!” Straightening up, he looks the CEO in the eye and gives her a grateful nod before continuing to the point of no return.
“Today I’ll be audition with a song I’ve written myself.” He holds back from adding ‘again’ to the end of the statement, not so pig-headed to believe that he made enough of an impact for anyone to remember his performance of ‘Red’ during the summer.
“It’s called ‘Real Fact’ and it’s a lot different to the stuff I’ve written or performed before. I hope you’ll like the new side of me that you’ll see~” He offers the judges another smile, daring to hope that the shadow of a smile on Baek Jiyoung’s face isn’t just a figment of his imagination.
“So, I’ll begin, now!”
With a nod towards the staff member manning the music, Moonbok takes a deep breath in as the music begins before beginning to sing.
I just wanna be with you, baby.
Again today, it was you for me.
I just wanna be with you baby.
If you still doubt me, oo-ooh~
My words are real facts
It’s funny, in a way. It’s as though he’s singing about wanting to be scouted by Sphere itself. Moonbok doesn’t blame Baek Jiyoung for perhaps still having doubts about him. But he wants to prove his sincerity to her and the other judges. That his wish to be an idol is a real fact, and not just a childish whim.
My words are real facts
Fact, fact, fact
My words are real facts
As usual, he doesn’t dance. Not that he’s unable to, because he’s certainly improved from even this summer. It’s just that he never envisioned this song as anything more than an odd soc release, and so never thought about choreography. That said, he doesn’t stay still, leisurely pacing back and forth to the music, gesturing with his arms energetically, all with a grin.
God, he really loves this song. And not just because it’s something out of the ordinary for him either.
My feelings for you are real facts
Whenever it is, I’m always there for you
Even if I’m not good at expressing myself
Just understand me, ‘cuz when I’m in front of you
My heart beats so hard I need to tape my ears together
How many times has he said words like that to other people? To Yoona, Hyunjin, Daniel, Jihyo and his own sister. The phrase ‘I don’t know how much help someone like me could be, but I’ll always here for you’ a staple of his vocabulary for as long as he could remember. He likes to help others, purely because he wants them to succeed and be happy, like anyone has the right to.
A guy like me can’t go on without you
So there’s no games when it comes to you
But you already know how I feel
As if you already received the letter I’m gonna give you
At this stage, no one should be shocked that he chose to rap. It’s what he’s known for, after all. And it’s what Moonbok does best at. Still, this cheery flow is different to the raps he’s performed before; instead of the melancholy of ‘Reflection’ or the confusion of ‘Red’ and ‘Boy in Luv’, this is a rap filled with optimism.
My heart is for real
I wish you would believe me
I’ll honestly show you my everything
My heart is a real fact
You can try to test with me.
He hopes he’s showing how sincere he is about all this. He knows this is not just a test of his skills, but of his perseverance too. After all, how many friends of his that he’d made over the last year or so already give up on their wishes to be an idol? Moonbok is here to show that no matter how many times he fails, he’ll still return to this dream and one day, he will achieve it.
I just wanna be with you baby,
I’m rowing in your forest
I just wanna be with you baby
Again today, it was you for me.
I just wanna be with you baby.
If you still doubt me
It’s only you in me, my only light
I’ll only look at you even deeper
The chorus this time is shaken up with another rap, Moonbok proud of how he’s able to transition from singing to rapping without his breath hitching or his voice cracking. This time last year, he’d needed a sizable gap between vocal and rap parts to give himself time to transition. He’s come a long way from that first time he showcased his singing publicly during MGA season 4.
My words are real facts
My words are real facts
Fact, fact, fact
My words are real facts.
The music fades as he reaches the end of the song and Moonbok smiles once more. After a second’s pause, he bows to the panel once again, speaking once he straightens up, his words and smile sincere.
“Thank you so much for listening to me. It was an honour to perform in front of you.”
And it was. A company audition is so very different to one done on TV. It feels more… real, in a way. With one last smile at Baek Jiyoung, Moonbok takes his cue to leave, shutting the door behind him as he re-enters the hallway where he had been waiting.
With a shaky sigh, Moonbok leans against the wall, taking deep breaths to calm himself. He was glad he’d been able to hide his nerves while performing, because if the judges were to see him now, shaking like a leaf, Moonbok would have died from mortification. Giving himself a moment or two to settle down, he exhales deeply and pulls away from the wall, heading towards the exit.
He’d done his best, done all he could do, much like Chaewon was sure to have done in her exams. Now for the both of them, the rest was up to the powers that be.
[Word count without lyrics: 1610]
#;; solo#wc: 1610#rkzombiescout#(I'm so sorry for how the song is arranged pls don't hold it against me dskfhjsd. It should come to EXACTLY 90 seconds--)#(if not; he's fixed it so that it HAS)#(But yay bby's first private audition and he lived~)#(because mentioned:)#yuzurk#rkyoona#rkxhyunjin#danielxrk#rkpjihyo
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