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#i haven't spent anything on something i didn't need and yet here i am with £20 to my name that's meant to last until
spadilled · 1 month
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i hate having to do this but i am unfortunately in the position where i can't afford my chiropractor appointments because my money just isn't going anywhere near as far as it needs to go at the moment. so here i am again plugging my ko.f.i where i have commissions open in the hopes that i can scrounge together £45 to afford to get my back sorted for another month on thursday... anything helps!! please even just signal boosting this would mean a lot - i've been working so much recently and nothing seems to be going anywhere and it's just so disheartening all of the time constantly at this point....
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lucy90712 · 4 days
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Not enough- Jude Bellingham
Dating a footballer is fun until he becomes incredibly successful and all of a sudden there are rumours left and right of him dating someone that isn't you. That's what my life is like Jude and I got together 3 years ago now when we were 17 and have been together since but we never made our relationship public because until the summer we were still long distance and didn't want the extra pressure. Having our relationship private has been so nice as it has meant when we do see each other we get to just enjoy being together but it also means we have to deal with rumours of who Jude might be dating. Those rumours never really got to me while Jude was at dortmund but since he's moved to Madrid things have just got so much more intense it seems that every few weeks there is a million new articles and tweets. 
Having to read all of this and seeing how pretty all the girls has really started to get to me. All the girls Jude is rumoured to be with are either models or just incredibly pretty which makes me feel awful about myself. All these girls have made a name for themselves in some way yet here I am with my job in a cafe while I try and find a job in the area that I studied. Jude likes to tell me that he doesn't care what I do for a living or how much I make but I can't help but feel guilty when I can't contribute much to the house or get him expensive things like he does for me. I'm also definitely no model I'm definitely not as pretty or as skinny as a model which I used to be ok with but now I don't feel so confident in myself. The other wags are also so pretty I definitely don't fit in with them either which makes me feel even worse about myself. 
Jude doesn't seem to have any clue that this is all going on he wakes up goes to training then hangs out with the boys leaving me until late at night so he doesn't see all the rumours or how they affect me. He's not here for the time I spend scrolling through social media or looking in the mirror judging everything about myself. Even when Jude is home he always seems to have something else on his mind so he never really gives me compliments anymore. I'd like to think that he still loves me but at this point I'm really not sure I mean he's young and he's attractive why would he want to be tied down with someone like me he can do so much better. I simply don't think I'm enough for him. 
A few days ago Jude went out to celebrate a big win for the team while I stayed at home but the next morning all I could see was rumours that Jude was flirting with multiple girls all night letting them dance with him and since I haven't really spoken to him. I spent all of last night laying awake thinking about everything and I decided that I just think I need to break up with Jude so then he's free to do all the things everyone thinks he's doing anyway. It's hard to decide to end a relationship especially one that has been going on for so long and one you are so fond of but I don't see any other way forward. This is why I've been so distant with Jude because in my head if I didn't talk to him that would make all of this easier. 
As always Jude left for training just as I got up for work but by the time I got back he was home which only happened the first few weeks I arrived so it was strange to see him here. Like always I headed upstairs to shower and change and when I came back out the bathroom Jude was sat on the bed waiting for me. I still didn't say anything to him because I'm trying to stay strong until I find the right time to tell Jude how I feel. 
"Babe are you ok you've barely spoken to me the last few days" he said 
"Yeah I'm fine just been busy had a lot on my mind that's all" I replied 
"Please don't lie to me I know there's something more going on I see the way you look all the time I just couldn't figure out what was wrong and now I give up so please tell me what's going on" he begged 
"I didn't want to say this yet because I'm still figuring things out but I think we should break up I just can't do this anymore" I said 
"Please no baby no I can't live without you whatever I've done I can fix it and I'm sorry just please don't break up with me" he said 
"It's nothing you've done it's just me" I said 
"Then what is it please tell me if you really want to do this at least tell me why" he said 
"I'm just not good enough for you every day there is new rumours of you being with someone else and all of them are prettier and have more going for them than I do and you deserve to be with one of them or to just be free to do what you want" I explained 
"But I want you that's what I want I don't want any of these girls nor is there anything going on with any other girl incase that's what you're thinking I like that you live a more normal life you keep me grounded and I think you are the prettiest girl in the world" Jude replied 
"Then why are you never home and why do you never compliment me anymore?" I asked 
"I-I'm sorry babe you're right I haven't been home much but I will change that I will come home after training and I will invite you to more things and believe me I could sit here for hours and compliment you and I'll do that if I need to" he said 
Jude did exactly what he said he started listing all the things he loves about me while giving me kisses. It felt so good to have his attention again it felt like we were back to how we were before I came to Madrid. After he complimented every single part of me he asked if I'd like to go out on a date like a proper date outside where people could see us and I didn't hesitate to say yes. Even if people see us who cares it's about time that we went public with our relationship then the rumours can be true for once. We have talked about going public a few times but now feels like the right time just so we can stop the media getting too far out of control 
I got all dressed up in a pretty dress and my makeup and hair all done for once I actually felt really pretty. When Jude walked in he had a white shirt and some black trousers on which he looked so good in. He stopped as soon as he saw me and I think his jaw actually hit the floor which made me blush and that was before he started complimenting me. The entire drive Jude didn't stop telling me how beautiful I looked which honestly made me feel so good about myself. 
At the restaurant there was people taking pictures of us walking in which Jude tried to protect me from a bit but we wanted to be seen together. It was weird being in front of so many cameras as I've spent years trying to avoid all of this but now I'm happily letting them all take pictures and stare at me trying to work out who I am so they can get their exclusive headline. The people in the restaurant were lovely though they showed us to our table then left us alone as much as possible which was nice as we were able to have a proper date night together. As we finished dessert Jude showed me all the pictures all over Instagram and Twitter then he showed me a post he had drafted to tell everyone about our relationship and put an end to everything. He had a beautiful caption written which nearly made me cry and all the pictures he had I hadn't seen before as they were ones he took secretly but they were all so cute. He let me click post so that it was my decision to go public then he took my phone and turned it off so we could enjoy the rest of our evening together without having to see what everyone has to say.
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remember-the-fanfics · 3 months
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Heya! Saw you were in need of some hazbin requests- would you be okay writing something angsty? I liked your earthborn idea, so you can use that concept for the reader <3 maybe teen!reader is having a rly tough time mentally at the hotel? Panic attacks, loss of appetite, the whole lot of it. You can take this anywhere it goes, I won’t mind. And if you can’t/don’t want to write it no worries! (Also, on a serious note I am getting help currently. Please don’t worry about my mental well-being ❤️)
So abrupt ending, ran out of idea and then got a headache, hope you're doing well. <3
Cut because readers thoughts get real panicked
You weren't a sinner, you haven't even died yet.
Why were you here?
Was everyone right? Did you truly deserve this?
They can't be-, you are still mortal. Then why were you even in Hell?
Why Why why-
You couldn't tell anyone, not that you don't trust them! All of the people (are they even still people if they are dead? Demons?), are nice and you just don't want to worry them with the truth.
-
"Have any of you seen (Y/n)? They are always willing to help me with taste testing my food?" Niffty asked after finishing cooking for the hotel.
"Haven't actual seen them today. I think they are sleeping though the day. I would." Said Husk, cleaning a glass.
"They've been skittish the past few days when they aren't in their room." Alastor stated, "More jumpy that usual."
"(Y/n) haven't been like this since they first got here." Said Charlie with a remorseful look. "I hope I didn't push them to hard on redemption, I know they can be sensitive about certain things."
"Like how all of this could be for nothing?" Said Alastor with a chuckle. "They might realize that and miss their old life. Realizing that they can't actually get better than hell."
"I'm checking on them." Said Vaggie, getting up and heading towards (Y/n)'s room.
"Just don't be too pushy! And make sure they've eaten! And water!" Said Charlie after Vaggie.
-
Vaggie remembers the look on your face when you realized you were in Hell being the one who found you wondering aimlessly. Your transition to a sinner wasn't a pretty one, after accepting Charlie's offer at the hotel the two didn't see you for almost two weeks. Vaggie thought you left until Charlie convinced you to come out of your room.
You look lost when you opened the door. The two only realized that you were young, not a child but not completely an adult. Charlie didn't force you to talk about what you were thinking, just got you to eat something and drink water then take a shower with some borrowed clothes.
Vaggie had moved you to a closer room to the two of them. You didn't have anything to move out so you just followed the two. They kept an eye on you since, making sure you realized that this wasn't the end.
Vaggie grumbled on her breath, standing infront of your door. Knocking with no answer.
"Kid, I know you're in there. Just want to make sure you're okay."
"..."
"(Y/n) did one of these assholes do something? I'll kick their ass if they did." Vaggie continued. "... You haven't closed yourself off like this since you first got here."
Hearing a sniffle after bring that up, clued Vaggie in what might be wrong.
"Look, I'm not like Charlie and will break the door down instead of talking to you for 2 weeks waiting for you to open it."
" 'm fine Vaggie."
"When was the last time you ate?"
"..."
"Or drank any water? Or even took a shower?"
"Give me a second."
-
(Y/n) would have jump out of the window if it wasn't that far. They looked for any escape route from Vaggie and the conversation they would have. (Y/n) could hide in the closet but they spent their childhood in there, they dont want to go back.
With a quick push the trash under their bed and make themselves presentable, they open the door and Vaggie look unimpressed.
"Come on, Niffty made food. You're eating." Said Vaggie not giving (Y/n) a chance to say no by grabbing their hand and pulling them along.
"Okay..."
"Charlie gonna want to know what upset you." Said Vaggie, (Y/n) groaned in response.
"Can't we just say I'm fine? I don't want to talk about it."
"You're not fine. You've not closed yourself off in awhile."
"I needed some me time?"
"That shouldn't include ignoring your health."
-
Well it was the most awkward dinner, everyone was trying not to stare at (Y/n)'s disheveled shape while eating. (Y/n) ate almost half the plate before pushing it away.
"I'm full." They said.
"You haven't eaten in a week, you need to finish." Said Husk.
"That's all I can eat right now. If I try I'll probably vomit it back up which will put me back in square one." Said (Y/n), trying not to get annoyed with the others for caring.
"You still need to hydrate." Vaggie said putting down a glass of water infront of them, (Y/n) grimace at the glass as water didn't taste good to them.
"Fine just can you all go back to eatting your own food?" (Y/n) said, sipping on the water while everyone grumbled and went back to their own plates of food. Everyone became silent while eating when it just became to loud in (Y/n)'s head again.
-
You were fine, everything was fine. This water was... water. The food was fine.
Everything was just fine. Everyone was fine.
Why then didn't it feel fine?
Why couldn't you feel fine?
Because you were in hell-
Like all the people your family said would be there-
People like
You.
But you shouldn't be here. You never died, you don't even look like the people down here.
Down down down, why does you life always go that direction?
You really should breath.
-
The first one to notice was the only one who didn't take her eyes off of (Y/n), Charlie, seeing that (Y/n) just stops everything. Charlie went to them quickly, not touching them yet. Crouching down next to their chair, having everyone watching now. Vaggie gotten out of her own chair ready to help at any moment.
"(Y/n)? Are you-?"
(Y/n) took a quick inhale, barely putting down their glass in time for their body to exhale. Charlie realized that they were breathing too fast while (Y/n) realized they were panicking infront of people.
"(Y/n)?" Asked Charlie, startling (Y/n) out of their thoughts and almost out of their chair. They looked like a frighten animal at Charlie.
"...Fine, 'm fine, t'is fine, promise." (Y/n) said, trying to not worry Charlie.
"Just focus on your breath." Said Charlie. "Just close your eyes and focus, in for 5, hold for 5, and exhale for 5."
(Y/n) squeezed their eyes shut, trying to focus their ragged breathing to calm down.
Just focus
After a few minutes, (Y/n) keep their eyes closed not wanting to face everyone.
"Better?" Asked Vaggie.
"Hmm." (Y/n) mumbled in response.
"Want to take a shower, while I get Niffty to fix up your room?"
"Hm- yeah."
-
While (Y/n) being in the shower, Charlie and Vaggie went with Niffty to (Y/n)'s room. Which just was littered with all things; trash, clothes, and random things.
"I never seen their room this messy before, hope there aren't any bugs. If there are any, they wouldn't be for long." Said Niffty getting to work quickly.
Charlie helped by ridding the bed of covers, pillows, and sheets. Vaggie taking anything that seemed dirty to be washed and getting new bedding for the bed, while looking for clean clothes for (Y/n) to wear.
"What do you think bothering them so much?" Asked Charlie.
"Probably thinking that they'll be suck here forever." Said Niffty.
"...That's probably true but they believe in redemption that I'm working on, are they second guess it?"
"(Y/n) has a habit of pushing their problems away until they can't." Said Husk, standing at the door way with a drink. "I'll take the clothes to them if you want." He said to Vaggie before she handed him the clothes.
"But they know we are here for them. Why can't they trust us with helping them though this?"
"They are probably use to going though it by themselves, they don't usually talk about who they were before hell." Said Vaggie, putting a hand on Charlie's shoulder. "We'll be here to help them up again when they need it."
"I know, I just want the help them before it gets to this." Said Charlie before (Y/n) appeared in the doorway of their room.
"Oh wow, you all did a good job. It looks way better." Said (Y/n) nervously after hearing what Charlie said. "I apologize for what happened. Not use to people wanting to help me before it becomes their problem when it gets to big."
"Well we'll be here if you ever want to talk about it." Said Charlie.
"Thanks. I'll try if it happens again."
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shaylixie · 11 months
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Going Home
Word Count: 2k
Genre: Angst
Pairing: Bang Chan x fem!reader
Requested: No.
Part 2
Summary: Chan and Y/n get into a fight, causing one of them to leave.
Warnings / Contains: Language; toxic behaviour.
A/N: The way I write this shit but I'd never act like this irl lmao...I'd like to believe I'd be a lot healthier about it but hey, do it for the angst amirite? Enjoy! 💗
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You come home and take your shoes off at the door of your apartment, feeling defeated after yet another shitty day at work. The past month has been hell - work has been so hectic and insane and you barely got a breather. To make things worse, Chan was having his own struggles too, and you hardly had time for each other...which you thought would have made the little time you spent together more special, but it just felt strained. It was getting late, and you desperately needed a hot bath and a meal. The first proper one of the day - that muffin from the morning did a good job sustaining you, but you really really needed something more.
You walked in to the kitchen to find Chan sitting at the table with takeout - God, you completely forgot.
"Channie, hi. Fuck! I'm so sorry, baby. Work finished later than planned and I completely forgot and...are you mad?"
He gave you a tight smile. "It's okay, y/n. I know how things are. The food is cold now though...we should warm it up."
You sighed and sat down at the table. "I feel like shit, Chan. I really am sorry. Why didn't you eat without me?"
"You know I'd never do that," Chan says. "Hey, you're here now. Let's just eat, okay?"
You have a feeling he's trying to appear less hurt than he is, but you dish out the food anyway for both of you and heat it up. You eat together in silence, trying to ignore the slight tension in the air. Afterwards, you get up to wash the dishes and Chan finally speaks up.
"How was your day?"
You can tell he's trying to ignore the tension in the room and move past it, so you do your best to do the same, while remaining as honest as possible.
You sigh. "It was shit. Again."
"I'm sorry," Chan replies.
"It's okay. Not your fault. Anyway. I'm gonna go shower, okay?"
He clears his throat. "Yeah, sure. Let me know if you need anything."
You kiss his cheek and make your way to the bathroom.
-
When you get into bed, Chan is turned the other way, already asleep...or so you think. You switch the bedside light off and turn to sleep too. It's silent for a while until Chan turns over and runs a hand down your side, stopping at your hip. He presses against you then, and you feel exactly why he's still awake. But after the shitty day - no, month - that you've had, you just don't have it in you. You ignore it, and act like you're asleep. Maybe not the healthiest move, but you're too exhausted to think about it too much.
"Baby?" Chan whispers. "You awake?"
"No," you reply.
He sighs then and flops onto his back, letting out a sigh of defeat. After a few moments, he shakes your arm and then turns to put his bedside light on.
"Y/n, can we talk?" he asks, tone firmer than usual.
"Can it wait?"
"No, no I don't think it can."
You sit up then.
"What going on with us?" he finally asks after weeks of wondering.
"What do you mean?" you ask, knowing but wanting him to elaborate more.
"You mean you haven't noticed? God, we haven't talked in ages. I mean a real conversation. Everything always feels like a string is about to snap...the constant tension...I can't stand it. I don't even know what's happening." It's as though a valve opened, and now everything is pouring out. "Look...you're busy, I get that. But I am too - yet I'm trying, y/n. It feels like you aren't. You come home late. You never come by me anymore...not to the studio, not to my place. It's been what, a month? Maybe more? It feels like more. We don't talk, we don't touch...when's the last time we even had sex? It's like you don't want to even touch me anymore. I don't know if I did something but I don't know what to do anymore. I'm trying...and it feels...it feels like you aren't. Like you haven't been for a while."
He waits for your response, and you feel tears pricking the back of your eyes. Which makes you frustrated...which makes you angry.
"What the fuck do you want me to do, Chris?!"
He's taken aback by your sudden burst of anger.
"I'm tired. Okay? I'm fucking exhausted. I-I don't even know what to do myself. I barely sleep. Or eat. I'm stressed all the time. I feel like I don't even have time for myself let alone you and now what, it's my fault? Fuck this."
You get up from bed and leave the room. Chan sits for a while in stunned silence. What just happened? Fuck it, he's pissed too now.
He follows after you. "Really, y/n? You're gonna take this shit out on me? I'm trying to help us - get us out of whatever the fuck you got us into - and you what, just explode on me? I'm trying to fix us!"
"And what if you can't, Chris?! What if this can't be fixed?"
He looks at you like you just cussed him in 3 different languages. "You really think that?"
"Fucking maybe!"
He laughs a humourless laugh and then shakes his head at you.
"That's all I needed to hear. Fuck this."
He grabs his keys and slips on his shoes, slamming the door behind him and leaving you alone in the dark flat, the tears finally falling down your cheeks.
-
It's been hours and you still can't sleep. You sob thinking about your fight with Chan; about what you said; what you insinuated. Was it really beyond fixing? You think about what Chan said. He's right...you haven't been making time for him. You haven't spoken the way you used to in what feels like a while. You haven't touched each other lovingly or sexually in a minute and you've ignored his every advance. And he had been trying...Chan was just as stressed out. His deadlines were all coming up and he was suffering with writer's block and he had an appearance soon and the Kids were behind and and and. Yet he still made time for you. Even if it was small. He still came to your place almost every night, even if it was after you fell asleep. He still made sure you ate and he checked in when he could and he always tried to act like things were okay, even if they weren't. He never wanted to add onto your stress. God. You were a dick. You don't deserve him, you think, crying harder. And the cherry on top? In a few days, you'll finally have a break. So much for that now.
-
It's been 3 heartaching days since the fight with Chan. You haven't spoken in that time, but you can't say it's his fault. The day after, neither of you spoke. The next day, he sent you a message. "Can we talk?" You ignored it. He called that same night, but you declined. He got the message. The third day, he called 4 times. You ignored all the calls. You knew what you had to do.
At 4am that morning, you woke up and started getting ready. You got out of the shower and dressed, hair still wet, when you heard urgent knocking at your door. You opened it, only to see Chan - bags under his slightly red, puffy eyes and hair dishevelled. Your own face probably looked the same.
"Y/n, can we talk? Please?" He paused as if finally noticing you were dressed and your hair was wet. "Where are you going?"
You sighed. "Home," you said in a small voice.
Chan furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "But you're already home?"
You looked down, and then back at him.
"I mean home Chan...as in South Africa. I'm going back."
He stopped breathing. "What?"
"This isn't working out, Chan. I don't...I don't deserve you. My flight is in 2 hours. I need to get to the airport now. I'll be gone for a while but I have to come back to decide what happens next. Maybe we can talk then."
You move to close the door on him, but he stops you.
"What- You're ending things?"
Now it was your turn to be confused. "Didn't that happen 3 days ago?"
"Y/n, no. It was just a stupid fight! It doesn't mean anything. Don't do this, please. We can work things out. Cancel the flight. Please. Baby...please."
You feel your eyes sting with fresh tears, and you turn to walk to your bedroom to get your things, knowing that trying to get Chan to leave is useless. As you suspected, he follows you and stands behind you as you go to grab a jacket, ignoring your wet hair now. No point drying it while he's here...you had to get out as soon as possible. You go to grab your suitcases, trying painfully hard not to look at Chan whose face is streaked with tears too. You deposit the suitcases at your front door and slip on your shoes, making sure you have everything. Chan watches you do all this, still in shock, as though he doesn't believe any of it is real...like it's just one big nightmare.
"You have to go now, Chan," you sigh. "Or at least, I have to. I can't miss this flight. I'll see you around."
You turn to walk out the door but you stop when you feel his hands wrap around your calves. Looking down, Chan is on his knees, the same way he's been so many times before for you, but so so different now.
"Please," he croaks. He's sobbing now, and he drops his head against your leg. "I'll do anything. Please just don't go. You want me to beg? I'll beg! Please, y/n. I'll make things right...I'll fix this. I'll fix us. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fuck things up between us...I'm so so sorry, baby. I love you so much...please, please...please, baby. Please."
You're sobbing too now. You kneel down, facing him, and take his face in your hands, wiping his tears. In between shuddering breaths, you say, "That's the thing, Chan. You don't have to fix anything. You weren't the one that broke it...that was all me. I don't deserve you, Channie. Maybe I did once, but not anymore. You deserve someone better." You cry harder at the thought of him with someone else. Composing yourself enough to talk, you add, "You deserve someone who can love you where I failed to...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, baby." You kiss his forehead.
"That's bullshit, y/n! I know you love me. And it's enough! It's enough for me. Look, a lot of shit has just been happening to us but we can fix it. Okay? Just give us a chance. Fuck anyone else - I don't want anyone else. I want YOU! You're all I've ever wanted and I'll never-" He breaks down sobbing again. "I'll never want anyone besides you. You hear me? Stay. Stay for me, baby. Please."
You both break down even more then, foreheads against each other. You stay like that for a while before you glimpse the time. You still had to drive to the airport and check in your luggage and board and-. You had to leave. You move to stand, pulling Chan up with you. You hug him, and eventually force yourself to let go.
"If it's meant to be...it'll be. Yeah?" you say.
Chan just sniffs in response, fresh tears brewing.
"I'll see you when I get back and then...well, we can see from there. Okay?"
"So it's not over?" he asks.
You kiss his cheek and hand him your key. "Lock up for me?"
You grab your suitcases and make your way to the car, leaving a heartbroken, devastated Chan behind.
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amomentsescape · 4 months
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Thank you for replying to my question! In that case could I request a Bruce Wayne imagine. One where the reader graduated college, bought a car & is now working a lot at her job. She’s been a bit stressed bec she hasn’t taken a break. Bruce surprises her at her job once her shift ends to take her on a date. & her coworkers & friends start teasing her. Basically Bruce wants her to destress and have fun. Then he expresses how proud he is of her. Just him being a supportive and loving boyfriend.
Also if you could throw in the reader’s friends asking if Bruce bought the car & if she’s gonna quit working bec he’s rich. But she says no to both bec she wants to make her own money & work hard. (Bruce ends up hearing this & it just confirms to him how she loves him for himself and not the money)
Sorry if it’s long lol!
More Than Riches
Gotham! Bruce Wayne x Reader
Summary: Even with Bruce as their partner, Reader still aims to do what they want with their life and love Bruce earnestly at the same time.
Warnings: Overall fluff with maybe one or two bad words
Word Count: 849
A/N: Thank you so much! Based on your request, I wrote it as more of a drabble since my version of an imagine usually only comes with about a paragraph of writing like this. But if you'd like a condensed version that's made into an imagine, let me know!
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The past few months have become all blurred together in your mind. To be honest, you were certain that you've spent more time at work than you have at your own home.
Adulthood wasn't quite what you had expected it to be. Graduating college and jumping straight into the workforce seemed like everyone's ideal, but this meant that you hadn't gotten an opportunity to take a breather.
But you supposed this is what you signed up for. A car loan wasn't going to pay itself. But even then, there was something fulfilling about what you did. Being able to be independent on your own terms gave you a sense of security you never knew you desired.
With that being said, you still wished you had a little more time for yourself and your boyfriend.
The thought of him almost made you a little emotional. You two haven't had much quality time together recently and yet, Bruce had been nothing but supportive towards your ambitions.
He told you time and time again that if you ever needed help with anything, all you had to do was ask. It truly felt nice to have someone on your team for a change.
You looked up at the time and realized that your shift was finally over.
You sighed and wandered back to clock out and grab your things when you heard hushed whispers and giggles.
Your coworkers were all huddled together, talking to each other like they were sharing a secret.
"I can't believe- oh! (Y/N), get over here! The Bruce Wayne just walked in. I can't believe it!"
Your eyebrows furrowed together. "I thought I was supposed to see him tomorrow..." you said under your breath.
When you looked up, all eyes were on you.
"You know him?" one of your coworkers asked eagerly.
You gulped. "Well, yeah. He's my boyfriend..."
You suddenly felt hot.
Your coworkers were absolutely stunned at this.
"You're kidding. You're in a relationship with the city's rich boy?!"
You just nodded, not sure how to respond.
"Oh my God. Then why the hell are you working here? He could literally pay all of your bills and then some! I bet your car is already paid off because of him, huh?" they giggled.
You almost wanted to roll your eyes at this. You were your own person. You didn't need saving, and you didn't need the man you love paying for everything that you could have earned yourself. It just didn't feel right to you, but to each their own you supposed.
"I'm actually paying off the car myself. And why would I not want to work? I enjoy putting in this effort to support myself and see the impact I'm making. He can do what he wants with his money, and I'll do what I want with mine. Now, if you excuse me, I am going to clock out."
With that, you grabbed your bag and jacket and walked over to the entrance, finally seeing that familiar face you love so much.
The moment he caught sight of you, his eyes lit up, a soft smile spreading across his lips.
"There you are. I was starting to wonder if I came at a bad time."
He leaned down and gave you a gentle kiss on the cheek, taking your hand in his as you both exited the building.
"I'm sorry. I just wasn't expecting you today," you answered honestly.
His smile widened. "I wanted to surprise you. I know things have been busy and stressful for you recently, and I was hoping a date night would alleviate some of that."
You stopped walking and looked at him, your stomach doing a couple flips.
You just kept staring at him, taking in just how perfect he was for you. He knew how to make any bad moment better in an instant. It's like he always understood what you needed even when you didn't know it yourself.
"What is it?" he chuckled nervously, a little bit shy from your gaze.
"I don't know what I did to deserve you," you responded softly.
This made his cheeks go all rosy, causing your heart to speed up. He was perfect.
"I could say the same for you," he reasoned.
His hold on your hand tightened as he pulled you into him, holding your body close to his.
"I overheard what you said back there, about me."
Now it was your turn to blush.
"Yeah?" was all you could produce.
"Yeah." He placed a kiss on your forehead. "I'm so lucky to have found someone like you. You're one of the only people I know that makes me feel seen as me, not just by my last name."
Your eyes met his at this. "Bruce, I'd love you even if you were just an average person like me."
He leaned his face a little bit closer to yours.
"You're not average, (Y/N). Not to me."
He then pressed in a little further and joined his lips with yours, kissing you like it was the first time all over again.
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imminent-danger-came · 11 months
Text
Eldritch Abomination MK Theory
OKAY. @the-punning-ubus
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I just want to say reading these tags are SO validating, because I have my little "MK was an eldritch abomination thing pre-hatching from stone" theory and seeing someone else come to pretty much the same conclusion feels good.
I've been meaning to write a proper theory post on this for a while, so now is as good of a time as any!
Obviously we have Wukong's "Not just anyone can wield my staff, but you did" from A Hero is Born and "The staff's just a big 'ol stick bud! It takes someone special to wield it" from 3x03, but there's also something in 1x09 Macaque:
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Macaque: "Your staff kinda gives you away dude, not just anyone can wield that thing."
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Macaque: "Ohohoh no, can't you hold the magic staff anymore? Well, you know what that means—there really isn't anything special about you. You're just a kid with a heavy stick."
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The sweet irony of "There really isn't anything special about you. You're just a kid with a heavy stick!" followed immediately by MK lifting the staff again is not lost on me.
So, from s1 it was pretty obvious that Wukong didn't "give" MK any form of power, but we knew that already with MK being a monkey demon and all. I just think it's particularly intriguing that all of this was laid out in the same episode where MK proclaims "I am the weapon!". In all honestly, he probably was/is.
One of the main questions coming out of s4 is "why was MK created?"—Monkey King's stone was used to form another, but for what purpose? To what end? What reason was MK at the center of all these stories?
Well, here's my current theory:
MK was something in a past life, and that something needed to be contained—and so, to put a stop to past life eldritch abomination MK, he was then sealed away in the stone.
I think this scene in particular raises some alarm bells:
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The stone cracks open, bursts with light, and then it closes—like something was put inside it. The scene could of course just be an aesthetic choice, or chosen to be this way for another reason we don't know yet, but it just feels so deliberate. A ball of light appearing from the stone, then another ball of light in the mystery woman's hands being revealed to hold a monkey, and then the stone reforming around the ball of light. I just can't help but feel there's something there.
Next I want to discuss the two key things that make me feel this theory has merit:
1.) MK has made a habit of breaking out of things he shouldn't be able to (the calabash in 1x05, the trigram furnace in 2x00, the scroll in 4x07, Destiny itself in 3x14) and the stone would be no exception.
2.) Every antagonist in this show has been sealed away in some form, then being released to resume their plans from before being sealed. Here's a list:
DBK was sealed under the mountain, and after being released continued his plan of world domination.
Spider Queen was metaphorically trapped in her fallen empire, and after being given the chance to rule the above world once again, immediately takes it.
The Lady Bone Demon was imprisoned in her tomb, and after being released prematurely (before learning the error of her ways), she continued her plan to destroy the world and create a new one.
Azure Lion was imprisoned in the scroll, and upon being released (by an unknown 3rd party), immediately worked to free his friends and then end the Jade Emperor's reign.
Now, I love foils, so MK breaking out of the stone he was sealed in, yet coming out an actually changed being unlike everyone else in this show, would be DELICIOUS:
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Lady Bone Demon: ”No backup and no weapon? So, you’re plan is to fist fight a child?” Sun Wukong: “We both know that’s not what you are.”
(3x11 This Imperfect World)
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Lady Bone Demon: "STOP! Have you forgotten? Destroy me and you destroy the host! Have you become so desperate to end me that you would sacrifice this blameless innocent child?" Sun Wukong: "You're giving me no choice! All the time you spent locked away, and you haven't changed a bit! I'm going to finish you, like I should have done a long time ago! I told you—you should have stayed buried."
(3x11 This Imperfect World)
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Subodhi: "I have not brought you to your master. Although this is the stone from which Sun Wukong once sprung, it appears overtime, it was used to form another. A simple creature, with no past, no family, and no name. There is a reason you were at the center of these stories—a reason you can harness the power of the Monkey King himself!"
(4x06 Show Me the Monster)
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(If you want extra fodder for this, please see this parallels post :3)
So, if MK were to hatch out of the stone—where *he* was sealed away—and he actually came out of it a "blameless innocent child" with "no past, no family, and no name", it would work exceedingly well. Wukong's not above giving people second chances, but if you use that second chance to try and destroy the world, you force his hand.
(Side note: it could also be the case that the stone was used to "reset" whatever MK was in his past life, and Wukong was originally meant to destroy whatever came out of the stone—which could be the reason he stayed at Flower Fruit Mountain for hundreds of years. However, when an child came out, a new being without a past or the memories of what it was before—Wukong choose to let it go. He choose to let it live a normal life—or even ensuring it could live a normal life—and it then found it's way to Pigsy. This definitely gets into real crack theory territory, but I did want to bring it up.)
Now, none of this is even mentioning the suspiciously MK shaped figure in the mural from 3x13:
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Now, the figure in this mural is only shown when MK is also on screen, which is framing that drives me insane. Perhaps this is when they first caught MK's past life, then finally able to subdue him and seal him in the stone.
And so, if MK really was this terrible chaos driven abomination in his past life, what does that mean ✨thematically✨?
Well,
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Sun Wukong: “Point is, mistakes happen, but so long as you leave the world in better shape than you found it, then it’s all good. Right?”
(4x01 Familiar Tales)
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SWK: “ENOUGH! I’ve never let anyone dictate my destiny in the past, and I’m not about to start now. None of us are! We can’t change who we were yesterday or in a past life, or a hundred life times ago! We live with the choices we’ve made, for what matter is the choices we make RIGHT NOW! Only we decide who we are and what we do with the power we have.”
(4x07 Pitiful Creatures)
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MK can't change who he was in a past life. He can't change that the roads all lead to pain. But you know what he can do? He can try. He can try and get a little bit better every day. He can try and help people. He can try and make the world better than he found it.
Maybe in a past life, MK caused just as must chaos and destruction as Wukong did in his past. Maybe he caused even more problems then he has as the Monkie Kid. But that also doesn't undo the good he's doing now.
Anyways, that's my "MK was an eldritch abomination thing pre-hatching from stone" theory. Hope you enjoyed
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unluckyhoneybee · 2 months
Note
and for sway? could you write for sway about dating a bi girl? She comes out to him after a couple of months of dating which leads him to a spiral of thoughts and insecurity
Note: first time writing for Sway!
Warnings: the ask says it all.
Jeremy kissed the top of your head and got up. You watched him walk in the kitchen and as soon as he was out of view you ran your hands over you hair in distress. Your nerves were eating you alive.
For the two months you had officially been dating Jeremy and the tien you had spent getting to know each other, you hadn't been able to talk with him about this huge part of yourself. It wasn't that you didn't trust him, but you had a couple of previous bad experiences and had grown extra cautious. Now that you knew there wasn't nothing to fear with him, you were trying to bring it up someway. Was it a film with your first girl crush a good opportunity?
"Hey" Jeremy fell next to you in the sofa and kissed your shoulder. "You are staying tonight, right?"
"Mhm" You kissed his cheek and leaned on his body.
Jeremy hadn't mentioned it, but he had noticed how you seemed more lost in your thoughts than normally.
"All good?" He hugged your shoulders and you sighed.
"Yeah"
He sighed too and moved you so you were looking at him. Then he grabbed your chin.
"C'mon" He playfully tapped your lips with his thumb. "I won't pressure you to talk, but I'm here if you want to. You love this film, YN. You haven't told me anything about Mr Darcy or Liz yet. About the hand scene, where are those giggles and feet kicking?"
You chuckled and moved a bit closer. You decided to go for a kiss first, your mind playing games and telling you maybe it was the last one.
"There is something" You made a pause "About the film, actually"
Jeremy brushed some hair out of your face. "Go on"
You took a deep breaths and then needed so much time to form the words that Jeremy's face fell slowly. His grin disappeared and instead he slowly frowned.
"YN..."
"I think I'm bisexual"
One, two, three, four, twenty seconds, thirty...
"Jeremy?" There it was. Ice cold expression and surprised eyes. You were ready for the fall. "Please say something"
Your voice, showing how scared you were, pulled him out of trance.
"Yeah, uh... You think?"
"I am. I am bisexual, Jeremy" You said with shaky voice.
"Oh" He licked his lips and ran the hand that wasn't keeping you close to him over his hair.
You felt your feelings raw. You felt really vulnerable.
"Oh? That's all" You cleared your throat and moved to sit straight but Jeremy thought you were leaving so he put his hand on your lower back.
"Wait, no, no" He cupped your cheek and made you look at him. "It's fine. I'm sorry I didn't react well. You caught me out of guard there"
You swallowed and leaned into his touch, which made him relax and smile.
"Just... What does it have to do with the film?" The funny tone on his voice made you chuckle.
"Uh... That's my first girl crush" You said pointing back.
"Keira?"
"Mhm. Can't blame a girl who grew watching Elisabeth Swan becoming the Pirate Queen, can you?"
Jeremy laughed loudly. "I can't, I can't. I see your vision in there"
You giggled and looked down at you hand on his chest. You fell in silence as Jeremy comforted you with his hand in your back. He caressed up and down as he observed your face.
"Are you feeling better now?"
You were tired, to be honest. "Yeah, kind of relaxed now. Took a weight off my shoulders"
Jeremy kissed your forehead.
"Don't need to worry about me, okay?"
"Yeah, I know. I trust you"
"Good"
You cupped his jaw. "and you? I understand if you need time"
"No! No, no. I'm fine. All good"
"Yeah? You don't mind I'm bi, for real? And don't make a threesome joke or I'll strangle you"
"Does it change something? Between us, I mean"
"Uh, no" You said. "I suppose. If you don't mind I also like girls, it doesn't change anything"
"I don't mind. It's just you, my girl, in the end."
You nodded with a smile and kissed his lips. "Thank you for telling me" He said when you pulled back. It was completely sincere. It felt so food to be trusted like this.
But that night, when you were already asleep and tightly grabbing onto his biceps, he laid there with his eyes open and running thoughts.
"So, YN is into girls too"
"Mhm" Jeremy nodded. "We talk during breakfast and when basically said that she is into more than just men. More than one genre"
"Okay" Linus nodded.
Jeremy respected you and your sexuality but was a mess with terms, so he asked you to explain stuff to him.
"What's the problem? Are you okay with it?"
"For sure, yeah" Jeremy nodded furiously. "I'm completely okay with her. I fell in love with YN for a reason"
"Cool then" Linus patted his shoulder. "But tell me te real problem, Sway"
Jeremy sighed. "I don't know why she told me just now. I mean, we know each other for a while, when started going out months ago and we have been a couple for two months"
Linus frowned.
"What if she has met someone?"
"Sway..."
"Ully, maybe she has met a girl. And she has told me now. Or maybe she is discovering things now. She said at first she thought she was. Maybe there is someone and she has a crush on them and she is doubting..."
Linus grabbed Sways shoulder. "Listen, you said she had a crush on the pirates of the Caribbean girl. That was what? 2005?"
"Yeah, around then"
"I don't think she has met anyone" Linus sighed. "Plus, you should ask her directly instead"
"I don't want to offend her"
"Sway, I think it's just that you are insecure"
Jeremy looked at his pads laying on the floor. Suddenly they were so interesting.
"Why would I?"
"This is knew for you. You really like this girl. You don't want to loose her. Easy"
Jeremy looked up again. "Why did she took so long then?"
"Ask her, Jeremy" Linus hugged his shoulders.
"Okay"
A couple of days later, when he arrived from the road trip, Jeremy drove directly to yours. He noticed a little bi flag bracelet in your wrist and smiled to himself.
"How was the flight?" You kissed his lips gently.
"Good"
"Go and get comfy, I'm making dinner"
"You are an angel." Jeremy kissed your cheek and moved to your bedroom.
You were happier and more smiley now that you didn't feel the need to hide from him and he liked that, but it was him now who seemed a bit lost.
"Now it's you." You said after dinner when you were clearing the kitchen. "I know that loss was hard but..."
"It's not the loss" He whispered.
You walked to him and hugged his waist. Jeremy laid back on the counter and grabbed your hips.
"Then?"
"Can I ask you something?"
"Yeah"
Jeremy swallowed the lump on his throat and then cupped your face.
"I don't want to offend you"
"Jeremy..."
"Why did you need so much time to tell me?" He asked. "I'm not throwing it at your face or anything but... Does it have to do with me?"
"Jeremy, honey..." You put a hand on your chest right over his heart. "It's not you"
He patiently waited for more.
"I've had a couple of bad experiences" You started slowly. "I told people who I was and they didn't react well, so since then I give myself time to make sure it's a safe space. And you are the safest I have felt with someone"
Jeremy moved his thumb over your cheek.
"I really love you, Jeremy." You said for the first time. "It's just that sometimes it's scary to be open like this. I know now that it would have been okay even if I told you sooner"
Jeremy felt a bit stupid. He leaned and kissed you deep and slow. You loved him.
"I really love you too, YN" He said with a huge smile.
"That's really cool, huh?"
"Super cool, yeah"
You both laughed and moved to press your foreheads together.
"Are you feeling better now?"
"Yeah. Just felt a bit insecure"
"About?"
"Why would you date me if you could date a girl?"
"Because you are Jeremy Swayman and give the best hugs ever, plus you are the sweetest and funniest guy I've met. And it has nothing to do with my sexuality. I met you and I liked you and then I fell in love with you. You make me extremely happy."
"Oh dear..." He kissed you deeply once more. "Linus wants to meet you. And I want you to meet him. I hope you don't mind I talked to him but I was a bit lost."
You chuckled. "The moment I told you I knew you would tell him, silly"
Jeremy laughed and pinched your but.
"I love you so much" He said.
"I love you too"
"Then? Dead man's chest?"
"Absolutely"
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Text
Mordecai Heller, the funky little lad who likes tea and cleaning. Have fun with him for Christmas. Idk what to put here lmao. Hope y'all enjoy!
Merry Christmas, Tux: A Mordecai x Reader One-Shot
The sound of frying dies down as you take the pan off the stove. Carefully, you remove the last pieces of food from the pan, putting them on the nearby plate to cool. You had a few minutes, so you took the opportunity to cover the plate and move it to the dining table. You didn't know exactly how long it'd take for him to get home, so in the case Mordecai made it back while you were busy getting his present together, he wouldn't see your little suprise. Sure enough, as you grabbed his gift, there was a knock on the door.
Mordecai walked through, letting himself in. It was his home, after all. You had moved in not too long ago, if you consider over a year not long that is. There was definitely something romantic between the two of you, but it was much more of a convenience arrangement at first. You needed a place to live and Mordecai was always working so he let you move in. In return for not paying rent, you kept the place clean, watered the plants, and just made sure everything was okay. Mordecai didn't mind the food either, even if he didn't show it often.
"Y/N? Are you home?"
"I am Tux, give me one second. And don't take that makeshift cloche off!"
A couple of months ago you had officially begun to date Mordecai, with the stipulation that you kept it a secret. Mordecai Heller was a professional, and had a reputation to maintain. He even kept up his facade around you a decent amount of the time. You got cracks out of him before hand, but never anything too much until two months ago. Consequently, that's when you started calling him Tux. He never says it, but Mordecai likes it.
You made your way back to the  dining room, where Mordecai sat at one of the tables, only his jacket off.
"Hello Tux, how way work?"
"It was Fine Y/N. It was just the normal routine."
"Good, good. I know you don't really take the time to celebrate Christmas or Hannukah, or really anything, but I wanted to suprise you."
"Y/N-"
"I know, I know, but just let me do this for you, okay?"
You reached into your pocket and set the wrapped box in front of him. Mordecai eyed you inquisitively for a second, before opening the box. Inside, there were a pair of silver cufflinks, inlaid with jade.
"Cufflinks?"
"Mhm. I know you don't really like big gifts, so I got you a new pair."
"Why jade, if you don't mind me asking."
"They reminded me of your eyes Tux. But, that's only the first gift."
Reaching across the table, you pulled the covered plate closer, pulling off the cover. On the plate was roughly a dozen and a half latkes, which you spent the past two days trying to perfect, and the past two weeks trying to find a base recipe for.
Mordecai's eyes lit up as he reached out to grab one. He told you about his family, about how they celebrated around Christmas time. And you specifically took note of how happy he looked when he mentioned the latkes they made every year. As you came to find out, the food aspect was one of the biggest for Mordecai growing up, even if nowadays it'd seem like the complete opposite.
Mordecai reached out and grabbed one, taking a bite out of it. The tiniest hint of a grin made its way to his face. He spoke up after finishing the first one.
"Thank you for this, dear. I...I haven't had one of these in a while. I apologize for not considering getting you a gift."
"You did get me a gift though, Tux."
"I did?"
"I got to hear you call me dear, and that's enough for me. Now, let's finish this plate because I don't want to do the dishes quite yet."
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markantonys · 1 month
Note
I came across a Twitter thread that said the set up for the docks when it comes to the Warder bond between Lan and Moiraine was handled much better in the books cause in the show they feel like the mechanics of the Warder bond was too vague/not explained well in the show that they weren't able to connect with Moiraine and Lan's emotional conflict in s2 because of it. And I am a bit confused cause honestly I don't think the books explain how the Warder bond works at all from what I remember. Just making a lot of wild claims about how everything about the books are better and how the show is fumbling when they haven't even read half the series yet (show first to book reader). Just this trend to shit talk every choice the show makes when you don't even know the full complete story is wild to me
haters: the show hasn't done enough to explain how the bond works
all the screentime across 2 seasons the show has dedicated to showing how the bond works which the haters kept complaining was a waste of time better spent on rand having swordfights:
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like literally what do they want lmao some people will never be satisfied!
but the mention of the "mechanics" of the bond is interesting to me because i think we may be hitting upon 2 different types of viewers here: the minority of lore enthusiasts who need to understand every single detail about how things work or else they will be upset and lose immersion, and the majority of audiences who are content with a general understanding of how things work and don't get hung up on details, or will at most go "hmmm i'm not sure if this makes sense, but it's a cool story beat so i'm happy to shrug and move on".
the former category were going "but what weaves is moiraine doing now? did they actually unbond and now she's remaking it from scratch? i thought the bond was only masked? this is such a plothole, it doesn't make sense, i can't concentrate on anything else about the scene" during the 2x08 moiraine & lan beach scene, and the latter category were thinking "what a beautiful and emotionally satisfying moment of seeing them come back together!" and that's it. and probably similar for the rest of the season. if somebody felt unable to connect with the emotional aspects of that storyline, i would bet it's because they felt too unclear about the mechanics of the state of the bond and couldn't let go of that confusion enough to sink into the emotional aspects. (which is really more of a personal thing; my show-only mom was definitely keyed into the emotional aspects of this storyline and didn't get bothered about some mechanics being left vague. in fact, i think she would've just gotten confused if they'd tried to explain the mechanics in more detail djkfjg bless her.)
undeniably, the show does not explain magic mechanics in as much depth as the books do. but that is because it's banking on the very fair assumption that the majority of audiences don't need to have this level of detail in order to enjoy and understand the story (and may get more confused than they need to be if they ARE given this level of detail). i'll admit that s2 was a bit muddled on What Exactly Is Going On with moiraine and lan's bond, and i found myself a bit confused by the mechanics at times, but that never impeded my appreciation or understanding of the emotional aspects of the storyline because i'm someone who is happy to shrug and move on if the mechanics of how something is functioning in a fantasy story aren't making total sense to me.
also, moiraine & lan at the docks won't happen until the end of s3 and it's very very possible we might learn even more about bond mechanics earlier in s3 via elayne and birgitte (who will be good candidates for explaining some New Bond Basics that it wouldn't make sense for moiraine and lan to talk about since they've had theirs for 20 years), so like..........maybe they should just Watch And Find Out.
it's also very interesting that this is coming from someone in the show-to-book pipeline because i honestly would not be surprised if a lot of their base knowledge for how warder bonds works was absorbed..........from the show. and they just don't realize it. granted, if they started with new spring it might be different because i'm assuming new spring goes into a lot of depth about how warder bonds work (though i don't know for sure, i haven't read it). but if they only read EOTW-TFOH, they sure as shit are not gonna have gotten much info about bonds *from the books* because we barely spend any time with characters who are part of a bond during those books. we get, what, maybe a couple chapters total of moiraine or lan pov and then start diving into it a tiny bit more in TFOH with elayne and birgitte, but it's really not that much from what i can remember - and i can't remember very well, because i went into the books already having a very solid understanding of the concept of the bond thanks to all the work s1 put into showing it. i do not remember learning anything significant about the bond in the first 5 books that i didn't already know from s1.
it's also so strange to me in general to see people start with the show, then go to the books, and then start hating on the show because as a show-to-book pipeline person myself, all going to the books did was make me go "wow thank fuck for the show, it will fix X, it will fix Y, it's already fixed Z" basically constantly. it made me 10000x more grateful for and appreciative of the show and the way it's choosing to tell the story!
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amphiptere-art · 3 months
Text
*Eclipse walks up a hill. Ominously looking around. Finally looking towards the horizon and the sunset. Looking behind him to see the moon rise. A scowl growing on his face. Clenching his fists. Starting to grumble to himself.*
Eclipse: What did I do to deserve this. Wandering around endlessly looking for something. Anyone. Just to figure out why I'm alive. Why am I alive. For some universes big joke!
*Eclipse screams at the sunset. Hands raising to cover his face. Almost pulling on his rays.*
Eclipse: Hahaha. Brought back over and over and over again just to be some villain. For what? To get revenge on a dead Moon! The original me had a reason. The backup me was just trying to finish the previous ones work. What am I supposed to do?! We got what we wanted. That want is gone now. All that's left is to get revenge on the moon. Which we've already done over and over! We had a chance to kill him, and we didn't. Why couldn't I just say dead!
*Eclipse collapses on the ground. Pulling on his rays. A sad scowl on his face. Clearly trying to not cry and stay angry.*
Eclipse: Why am I alive! Why! Is this some sort of purgatory punishment!? Am I only being brought back so I can fail again! I know what I did to Sun was wrong. I know I shouldn't have hurt lunar. I didn't know what else to do though! He abandoned me! I spent a year locked up in somebody's head. Who wouldn't be angry! I wanted him to pay! I wanted to destroy the life he left me for. I hurt sun so I could get back at it. And then I hurt lunar cuz I didn't want to let go! I wanted Moon to pay forever! I shouldn't have done it! I shouldn't have hurt him. Backup shouldn't have gotten revenge for the original. I don't even know if he knew what he was doing at that point.
*Eclipse brings up his knees and buries his face. Hands pulling and covering his rays.*
Eclipse: I haven't done anything. Not really. I don't even know if backup did anything more than kill lunar. Original did the rest. Original did everything and we're paying for it. All I did was kidnap ruin and lay some threats. All I know is what I remember. I didn't do anything! Yet I'm the one who pays! I'm again locked up because of moon. I'm being tormented all over again because of moon. Why do people side with him! Do they not know what he did! The cycle is just repeating. I'm only resentful because other versions of me are resentful. I don't have a reason to, but this is a good goddamn reason! Death would be better than this!
*Eclipse starts to sob. Unable to speak. Only repeating the he didn't do anything. Why is he paying for others. Why is the moon like this. Interrupted by a ringing phone.*
Moon: Hey bitch get your ass over here.
*Eclipse doesn't answer. Trying to compose himself. Letting out an audible shutter as he tries to breathe.*
Moon: Oh what. Did I catch you crying? Really? What a joke. Boohoo for you, You got what was coming. Now move!
*Eclipse doesn't move. Attempting to wipe tears.*
Moon: I said get up jackass! If you don't cooperate I will kill you! I don't care about whatever the fuck you're going through. You're now under my thumb, and I'm not going to give a shit! Get over here, Now!
*Eclipse finally stumbles up. Finally answering.*
Eclipse: I'm coming.
Moon: Finally! I don't need you being a cry baby stopping with our search. Get over here and be quick. I'll kill you otherwise.
*Moon hangs up the call. Eclipse turns around and looks towards the rising moon. Giving a sorrowful angry glance towards it before walking off.*
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canirove · 6 months
Text
Broken Hearts Football Club | Chapter 16
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Masterlist
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"Good morning, sunshine!"
"Leah?" June groaned. "What are you doing here?"
"Getting you out of that bed" she said, opening the curtains. "You've spent half your summer there crying and eating your weight on ice-cream, and I've had enough of it."
"But I haven't" she replied, covering her head with the duvet.
"June, I'm being serious. You are gonna get out of that bed, make yourself look presentable, and come on a run with me. The preseason is around the corner and we must get ready for it."
"No."
"June, c'mon!" Leah said, sitting on the bed and uncovering her head. "You are Chelsea's captain!" 
"I won't be anymore."
"What?" 
"I'm retiring, Leah."
"No, you are not" she laughed.
"I am. I can't play anymore."
"Why not? Because you are heartbroken and Chilly and Mason may hate you?" 
"Because I think I'm pregnant" June whispered.
"I beg your pardon?"
"I think I'm pregnant, Leah" she cried, covering her head again.
"You think you… From whom?"
"Pick a guess."
"Wait… Mason? Oh my God, June!" Leah said, standing up.
"I know" she sobbed.
"Why didn't you use protection?"
"Because there wasn't time. We walked through the door and just…"
"Oh, my God. How could you be so stupid? Both of you?"
"There is no need to insult me, Leah. I myself have already done it enough."
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. But June! June!" she said, sitting down again. 
"I know."
"Wait, June…" Leah said after a few seconds in silence. "You said you think you may be pregnant. Have you taken a test yet?"
"No."
"No? Why?"
"I haven't had the strength to go out and buy it. But I don't need to, to be honest. I've been feeling sick and very tired for the past few days. And my period is late."
"How late?"
"Four days. And it is like a clock, you know it."
"But you've been under a lot of stress lately, it can happen."
"Not with me, Leah. I'm pregnant and I'm gonna have to retire early and raise a baby alone because their father hates me" June said, starting to cry again. 
"Hey, you are not alone. June" Leah said, forcing her to look her in the eyes. "You are not alone. You have me, and I'm sure Vittoria and Lauren will also be there for you. Same with John, your family and Mason."
"He hates me."
"But he isn't the type of guy who would abandon his baby and you know it."
"He isn't, no."
"And June, if you are not ready for it, you know there always is another option."
"You mean…"
"Yes" Leah said, taking her hand on hers.
"I can't do that. And definitely not without telling Mason."
"Your body, your choice, June. But we don't know yet if you actually are pregnant, so we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Now we must focus on you taking that test."
"I'm not ready, Leah."
"The sooner the better, so this is what we are going to do. I'm gonna run you a nice warm bath, and while you are relaxing and getting rid of that greasy hair, I'm going out to buy you a test and something nice for breakfast."
"Buy three."
"What?" Leah chuckled.
"Buy at least three tests and from different brands. I want to be completely sure."
"Ok. Three tests, coffee, and a croissant as big as your head. Does that sound good?"
"Perfect" June said. "Thank you, Leah."
"Anything for you, Maxwell" she replied, kissing her forehead.
━━━━━━❃━━━━━━
"How much left?" June asked.
"A minute."
"A minute" she repeated, pacing around the kitchen. "This is the longest minute of my life, I feel like I'm going to have a heart…"
"June, why are you crying now?"
"Ben!" she said. "What am I going to tell him, Leah? Oh, hey, I'm pregnant with your best friend's child after a one night stand but I'm in love with you?"
"Wait, are you in love with Chilly?"
"I… I don't know. Maybe. I'm too confused and all this isn't helping and… shit!" 
"It's time" Leah said, turning off her phone's alarm. "Do you want to do the honours?"
"I can't. You do it."
"Ok. I'm gonna turn them all around at the same time. Ready?"
"No" June said, covering her eyes.
"One, two… three!"
"And? Leah, why have you gone so quiet? Am I pregnant or not?"
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mxdarling · 1 year
Text
[“You’re weak. You need me.”]
•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅• •❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•
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ೃ⁀➷: summary: you tried to escape from azul's grasp, it did not end well.
ೃ⁀➷: Word count: 1030
ೃ⁀➷: Reference/Inspiration: N/A
ೃ⁀➷: Event: [200 followers event]
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[note:] If there is anything else triggering here that I didn’t list in the warnings section, please tell me. I don’t condone this type of behavior, this is merely just for entertaining purposes and some sort of coping mechanism for me. If you continue to read beyond this point, ignoring my warnings, I am not responsible for your actions from here on out.
[Warnings:] bad oneshot, lowercase, maybe occ azul, yandere behavior, establish relationship, breaking up, monopolizing time, one mention about azul's past (though it isn't really talked about), clingy behavior, stalking behavior, social isolation, stalking (the eel twins), drugging (psilocybin).
[GN reader]
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♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ :Azul Ashengrotto;
AZUL ASHENGROTTO, a well-known 2nd year student in night raven college (long before you arrived), dorm leader of octavinelle dormitory, owner of the cafe called monstro lounge, and someone who you love oh so dearly.
used to love, at least.
it wasn't until then that azul had grown a little too.. keen on keeping your time occupied with him and limited with other people. at first, you didn't think much of it; considering azul's past you thought maybe he would eventually grow out of it. if you simply show him, he can trust you. whether it be twisted wonderland or your own world, you wouldn't leave him for someone else. lately though, it's been getting more difficult to keep that promise. with how frequently azul asks questions about your day, even such specifics ones. asking what time you've eaten breakfast, how much time you've spent with your friends, who were you with in each classes. the classes you have with him feel almost suffocating. he hasn't done anything to you yet no air can breathe through your lungs, almost as if you're drowning just by his presence alone.
even when he isn't around, you can feel his gaze constantly on your back. never really there but always watching you. you couldn't sleep nor focus for weeks, all because of these unceasing feeling of being on edge caused by him. sometime later, you've found out that the eel twins have been following you around in campus, a direct order from azul you presume. it wasn't too bad, at first. you didn't think it would cause almost everyone one campus to avoid like a plague. even some of your closest friends stopped talking to you. though you weren't sure what were azul's intentions, you knew none of them are good. so in a desperate need to solve your current predicament, you decide to confront azul about the matter.
"care to repeat that again, dear? i think i misheard you the first ti-"
"i said, we're done. do i need to repeat it the third time?"
you're standing standing in the vip lounge, staring straight at him, in front of his desk with stacked piles of paper. he was looking down, viewing the contents of the papers yet listening to every word you said. you weren't entirely sure how he would react to such news, in case that happens you nervously braced for any sort of reaction he might have.
"..why is that so? you aren't one to do something without a reason, prefect."
he looked up from the papers, his cool gray eyes finally stared back at yours, you struggle to maintain eye contact with him. you haven't been able to see him eye to eye due to the circumstances. this is the first time you've seen his eyes up close in forever. you've forgotten how those were the same eyes that brought you ease and comfort, now all they bring were anxiety and paranoia. you look away in hope of getting rid of these feelings but alas it only gotten worse.
"you haven't answered my question, prefect. you should know i am not a person to have much time on my hands."
you hear him say with a stern voice, he's getting impatient. though you aren't entirely sure what to say to him. slowly looking back at him, his face remain neutral. calm, even... he was hard to read, you thought if you knew him well enough you'd be able to read him just a little bit. you struggle to give an answer under his watchful gaze, eventually you gave out a unsure answer.
"i.. i don't think this relationship.. can work anymore, azul.."
stuttering out the best response you can give at that moment, you pray that azul will finally understand your point.
"i see.. very well then, you may go."
oh phew.. at least he reacted calmly this time. you weren't sure if you could handle another emotional outburst from him, especially with how tired you are.
...wait. did he say you can go? has a miracle finally happened!? has lady luck finally grant you your wishes!? whatever the reason is, it doesn't matter nor do you care. you're finally free, no more feeling of being watched, no more feeling of being lonely, no more of having to deal with azul's emotional outburst and overbearing behavior. you're free, free from all of it. more specifically, free from him. you happily reach for the door knob, yet you're frozen in place.
what is this sudden fear you're experiencing...? why does it feel like time is slowing down..? why does everything look so distorted..? why is your heart racing..!? you start to feel your breath shortening. since when was it so hard to breathe!? you lean against a wall, clutching your chest in hopes you'll start to calm down. you didn't. you can't help but start to cry, what's happening to you? why now of all times!? what makes it worse, you're still in the same room with azul. isn't he gonna help you? since when was he standing in front of you..? you could hardly distinguish his figure but you can tell by the faint voice you hear that the person standing before you in definitely and certainly azul.
he gentle holds you in his embrace, helping you be stabilize so you do not fall onto the floor. holds your cheek in the palm of one of his hands and rest the other onto your waist. his hands are soft and tender, you've forgotten how it felt to be held by him like this. you lean into his touch, slowly losing the purpose of why you were so happy to reach the door knob.
"don't worry prefect, what you're experiencing is just some side effects. they'll go away soon."
side effects..? what does he mean by that...? you mutter a response yet it comes out as incomprehensive sounds. your brain starting to feel like mush by the second.
"do not fret, angelfish, i've taken upon myself to be held responsible for your well being. after all, you're weak. you need me. i promise, i'll take very good care of you..."
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•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅• •❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•
[a/n; oh god, first one shot as of the year 2023! thank you for requesting azul ashengrotto with dialogue 22#, anon! it was a pleasure writing this! never thought i had to search up 'drugs found in mushrooms' but here we are (i blame jade for this). idk if i wrote the psilocybin effects properly, so if there's any mistakes about it i'm sorry! i didn't actually wanted to really do this event cause it revolves a lot on one shot writing and you guys know I'm not really confident in that part but I decided to give it a try to maybe get some feedback on it and get better at it for future writing ideas and requests. so let me know if i did a good job! (p.s. the ending might be rushed, so sorry for that but i really wanted to post something!)]
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cornbake · 5 months
Text
The Moon Will Sing PT 5
Master List Yea i haven't gotten to Caz Mans yet so i'm just doing my best here LOL Granted I'm already taking a lot of liberties in other areas at this point. WARNINGS: Angst, Violence, Gore, Blood and Injury, Cazador get's his own warning, minor character death.
The sun had stood behind you as your shadow stretched over the cobble stone. A fine iron fence had been the only guard between you and the large estate house that you had spent a good amount of time to find.
The interior was finely furnished. Once fit for one of royal standing. If the blood, fire and ice didn't completely ruin the property value.
For a den of vampires, it was certainly lively at little past mid day. Granted, you had used a fireball scroll on, what you assumed to be, the middle of the damned house. A rude wake up call, as not soon after you had parried a blade from hitting.
Whether or not a stealth approach would have been smarter was not something you concerned yourself in. You had your head up in blades and red eyes. Harsh glowing reds that aimed to kill the wasp that entered the hive.
You had managed fine with the humanoid servants, either killing them, or as close to killing as you can to something already dead, or knocking them out. You had some cuts from lucky hits but over all, you felt the fire of determination burn inside of you grow. You'd rather not admit to yourself that is was a hollow sense of determination. Something you patched together just so you didn't have to focus on the hurt it was covering. You didn't want to admit that every time you thought about returning to Astarion the fire only grows brighter. Something in you deeply hurt at the idea that once you return he would continue to give you flax affection, words that mean nothing to him. Words that you had once hung on to by each letter. Yet with each thought, the determination to complete your side of the unspoken bargin. You weren't truly angry at him, you new that, the rage you felt wasn't out of anger. You wanted to see him happy, sure, when didn't you. You still loved him, even if your heart hung heavy in mourning.
You bring the back of your hand up to wipe away the few tears that escaped your harden glare. You step away from the fallen servant you had been unconsciously staring at. You stood in a large room, open with a platform risen at one end with an over detailed large chair place in the middle of it. You had just barely made your way into the room, pushing the double doors open at the other end. The high valued ceiling held an expensive looking chandelier, the crystals daggling from thin wire made what little light in the room fracture in faint lines across the empty room. If this wasn't owned by a completely entitled bastard, you would have thought it was beautiful.
"So the Gur come to take the corpses of their family back.... how pitiful...."
The voice was a shock to your system, pulling your weapon up, readying to swing at anything you saw. Eyes making a frenzied search for anything in the still empty room. A deep chuckle sounded throughout the lengthy room.
"A sheep wondering into the lion's den... how sweet it will be to taste that of a foolish hero...." Red eyes flash in the dark, in a speed in-human as it made it's way to the throne. "Though, I am in dire need of entertainment... you might yet do..." The finely dark dressed man rose his head only to look down upon you. His eyes glowing the same crimson as the servants, yet his smile was something they didn't hold.
"I'm not a Gur, but still someone that's going to use your head as a door knocker all the same...." you hiss at him through clenched teeth. His laughter only fueling your anger. "Your reign of abuse is over Cazador! And your damned ritual of yours will be broken." You felt a stir of pride as the vampire lord's face twisted in an odd display of anger and shock. His eyes ran over you before glaring.
"I see.... so that sad little boy found himself a hero to slay the evil tyrant did he? My..." He turned away from you as his hand danced over the arm to his seat. Your gaze never leaving him, picking up every inch of detail your little pupils could. His back facing you for a seemingly long stretch of silence. "Mayhaps he will remember his teachings when his hero falls into their own grave..."
You only catch a glimpse at his shining red eyes before strong claws of a wolven creature slams you into the polished wooden flooring. You have to take a moment to steady your mind from your skull slamming into the broads. The deep snarls around make you hyper aware how out numbered you are.
You move before the next creature had a chance to strike at your downed form. Claws digging into the finely crafted wood, bright golden eyes all watch as you swing towards them.
"It's always interesting to watch the reality creep into one's mind." You can hear the pacing of finely cobbled shoes click on the wooden boards. "The bright mind of a warrior is sharp, calculating outcomes in split second timing. It's a rather impressive feat, to come up with something from nearly nothing in a matter of a moment..."
Jaws snap around your arm, the metal bracers denting, being crushed by the force. You smack the hilt of you weapon into the face of the werewolf, the shill cry from it allows you to free your arm. Yet it blocked out the growl of the other behind you. As you focus on making a second attack on the one that once held your arm a pair of claws digs into the flesh of your back. The thick keratin running over the bones of your ribs as it cuts through the armor you had on.
"Yet even will that skill, I've seen the same outcome. They slip up alone the way..." Red eyes look upon your semi-crumpled form. "They always seem too confident in their own skill to consider I am simply untouchable..."
Your breaths are ragged. You can't take a break as two other rush you at the scent of your blood. Quick reflexes smack one with a well timed attack, sending it reeling into the floor. The other catches your next attack in it's jaws, trying to pry the weapon from your grasp.
"I am as close to god-ship any mortal will ever meet. And soon I will be a god among men." His pacing stops, his full focus set onto you. "That is... once I get back what rightfully belongs to me..."
You let go of the weapon, the wovlen creature stumbling back with the sudden lack of resistance. Pulling two daggers out, you rush froward, thrusting your hand into the exposed belly of the beast. It cries as the life leaves it's features, it's jaw slackening. You're eyes barely catching notice of your discarded weapon falling from it's grasp as the weapon cracks into your shoulder. Your cry is drowned out by howls as the remaining few beasts continue to jump at you.
"My elven little star....."
Your eyes meet his as you are slammed into the floor at his feet. You aren't sure if your fight was arranged closer to him or if he had made is way closer to you. All you knew at this moment was his black dress shoes stood in the crimson pool your face was shoved into. Burning red eyes stare down at your pathic form.
"Aw... don't feel so sad, young one... I'm sure you have use yet..." His smile was sweet despite the look hidden in his bright eyes. "I find it so heart warming that the little pet found someone to... indulge in... while he was away from home... It makes what I want to do next oh so enjoyably..." You hate that your body shivered at his tone, the expectation of what's to come sinking into your mind along with a devastating thought.
"Take them to the kennels... I have some tomes to consult before I am to come for them."
You didn't here much of his words as large rough paws dug into you flesh, peeling you away from the floor.
"I had fail him.... did I..."
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pascaloverx · 6 months
Text
Hit The Road
Chapter Four
previous chapter next chapter
Summary: You are a hunter of supernatural beings who is forced to experience a new reality: being a vampire. The only thing stronger than your thirst for blood is your thirst for revenge.
Author's note: the characters mentioned here were created by Kevin Williamson and Julie Plec, based on the book series of the same name by author L. J. Smith. They don't belong to me. That said, this fanfic will be short. This fanfic may address scenes of violence, inappropriate language and adult content. Minors should not interact with this story.
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Waking up dizzy in an unfamiliar room wasn't something you expected. Yet, there was a strange sense of déjà vu lingering in the air, as if you've been in this room before. Something felt oddly familiar, whether it was the irresistibly soft bed tempting you to make it your permanent residence or the piercing gaze of a Salvatore with captivating blue eyes watching your every move.
"What am I doing in your room, Damon?" You inquire, curiosity evident as you struggle to recall how you ended up here.
"Recharging, considering you probably haven't had a good blood meal in a long while. If you're going to expend energy remembering things erased from your memory, Y/N, you need to be strong." Damon remarks, seemingly aware of what's happening to you before you even mention anything.
"You don't need to lecture me; it's not my fault I'm a vampire in denial. I've spent my whole life trying to kill creatures like me." You assert.
"I don't recall you trying to kill me when we were together, but if you say so. Need help changing or taking a shower?" Damon offers with a mischievous grin, prompting you to throw a pillow at him.
"I want help with answers, Damon. I want to know what's been wiped from my memory, who did it, and why I've been having these flashbacks since I got here." You express, a determined look in your eyes.
"I'd rather help you with the shower..." Damon says, and you sense he's trying to change the subject. What the hell could he be hiding?
"Do you want to change the subject so desperately that you're willing to betray your girlfriend?" You say, tossing in a half-truth. Though you can't quite remember, you have a hunch that reasonable Elena is dating one of the Salvatores.
"Who told you about Elena?" He seems somewhat uneasy about the topic. You stand up, facing Damon, who is seated in the chair.
"No one in particular, but a human mentioned that she has a positive influence on you. Seems like I made a good guess." You say, feeling clever for piecing that together. Damon stands up, looking at you as if he thought you'd take longer to question him.
"Currently, Elena is my ex-girlfriend. Satisfied?" Damon says as he approaches you. You quickly take a step back for each step he takes forward.
"Not at all. I'm sorry for your troubles, but I need a lot more than that to be satisfied. Don't want to help me remember because you killed me? No problem. I'll kill you as soon as I can, nothing personal." You say, staring him down. He smiles so genuinely, it's as if you just told a joke.
"I didn't kill you. I'm not even sure I could. I did turn you, that's true. But you're right, I won't tell you what you want or need to know. You'll remember on your own when you're ready." Damon admits. You see him with such a soft face as he says this that it irritates you. You want to understand who you are completely and the only idiot who can help you seems to have fun watching you not understand anything.
"I'll kill you." You almost scream this before throwing Damon into the nearest wall. You hold him by the neck tightly, but he seems to find it amusing.
"You want to kill me? Great, do it right." He says taking my hand and placing it under her chest. Right above the heart.
"Do you think I don't have the courage?" You say, still pressing him tightly. You know you could rip out Damon's heart or break his neck. But I couldn't imagine a world without him. Something inside you screams that you wouldn't survive without him. What a shitty emotional memory.
"I know you love me, you just don't remember it but your body like that your mind, still remember me." You let him go, trying to demonstrate in some way your rejection of what he had just said.
"You can't rely on my memories. I won't hurt you only because, somehow, you might be useful. But as far as I'm concerned, you'll never have that love you remember back, if it's up to me." You assert. He watches you, wearing a sly smile – the kind that says, "Just you wait."
Confused, you look at him. You're not sure how to react to Damon's charm and confidence – it throws you off balance. He seems to sense your insecurity, so he approaches slowly. As if to forewarn you of what's to come, he gently cradles your face in his hands. It feels strange, and you might even find yourself furrowing your brow in response. His lips slowly question you, “Do you want me to stop?”
You wonder if you want him to stop, after all, a lot happens with you. But you shake your head, denying that you want him to stop. Damon's lips are soft. The kiss however is not soft at all. It's as if he's thirsty for you, for your lips and for your closeness. You can feel a little love in this kiss, not from your part of course but from his. The heat inside you can't be love, you refuse to think that you miss Damon. Yet you find yourself holding Damon's head tighter against you. He suddenly picks you up and you feel like you're doing something so good but so wrong. I mean, not long ago you were having sex with his brother. Now it's here, being held by him. He has his hands firmly on your ass. But at some point he sits on the couch and puts you on his lap. You then slowly break the kiss, kissing his lips slowly and down to his neck. Then you go up and give a little peck lingering on Damon's lips. Slowing down the pace is necessary, if not you'll be in Damon's bed with no clothes on in a few minutes.
"Damon, we need to slow down this thing between us. If we keep going... we might regret it." You say between brief kisses, trying to ease the tension between you and Damon.
"You're still the same, always thinking about the future. But I think it's fair to think that you might regret that..." He speaks as if deep down he is hurt.
"I'm not just talking about me, you yourself may regret that I'm not the person you love." You say thinking that his heart has an owner and it's not you.
"Are you going to keep bringing Elena into our every moment?" Damon questions a little impatiently. When you are about to say something, you hear a noise. You and Damon look at each other and you can smell the sweet scent of a feminine perfume coming from you. down there. And something tells me I'm about to meet the famous Elena.
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not-poignant · 6 months
Note
I hope you have a lovely day with lots of snacks
Tl;dr the day was not lovely but there might be snacks
I actually didn't have many snacks today but I'm about to make up with it with a couple of churros and dark chocolate dipped strawberries.
Today I...woke up and showered and replied to comments on AO3 for a while, and then I spent about 4 hours formatting documents into PDFs of varying sizes for Patreon and Ream and uploading chapter commentaries into compilations. And then I did more formatting stuff behind the scenes while I stared at all the other behind the scenes stuff I need to do and thought 'writing is a hard job' quietly and intensely.
I ate lunch while I was working. I also made some memes about how overwhelmed I felt, and then made some for my readers too, lol.
And then I laid down for about 4 hours because I also have chronic illness (whee) and I am constantly in pain and varying degrees of fatigue and I literally must lie down every afternoon so I don't collapse in the evening (literally) - and I did a tiny bit of reading (webtoon: Shutline (which I immediately realised I'd read before and didn't fondly remember), webtoon: December (didn't mind this)) and then dozed restlessly because it was 40C/104F today. I also edited a Tiktok art video in Adobe Premier Rush, but I haven't put it up yet, and I should really do that.
Got up and made ham and cucumber sandwiches for dinner, and watched Girl with the Dogs on YouTube while I ate, and a Smosh video.
Then did some more work and helped a friend with her work stuff, and then I watered the garden for 1.5 hours because *points tiredly to the heatwave* and stared balefully at the dark sky (you can't water during the day - it's literally a heatwave but also it's illegal here to water during the day) with its few stars because they'd set up a severe weather warning due to extreme winds in our specific area and it was dead AF and oppressive out there and it was just hot instead.
I watched a few Tiktoks while I watered.
When I hung the hose up back on the holder thingo, I sang to my plants: 'I hope you make the best out of the water I just gave you, you little fucks' like a sweet lullaby, and a person who I didn't know was outside next door because it was like 9pm and pitch black laughed softly and sweetly, like they didn't expect it, and felt kind of fond. I didn't know I had any nice neighbours on that side of the house, so I mostly just thought 'WHOOPS SHIT' and then felt too embarrassed to say anything.
And then I came back inside and replied to some asks (hi!) and am hopefully going to eat churro's soon and it's 10pm and so I'm probably going to do some more work and then I'm going to go to bed while I feel stressed about the work I haven't done (currently Palmarosa is the heart beating beneath my floorboards). I will probably keep reading December. It's okayish.
I don't know if I'd call today lovely, because I'm burnt out and I want to put up the Christmas decorations but it's 10pm and idk if I should start that because it tends to make me severely ill to do it for a few days.
I'm a little sad, a lot lonely, a little melancholic, a little grumpy, and a little very excited about churros and chocolate dipped strawberries. I resent days that are 'work and sleep' sometimes, especially during November. That's my fault. That's on me. I'm a mean and shitty boss to myself.
Gotta do something about this burnout at some point, because December is the worst month for my PTSD, but I also need to keep getting paid, because medical bills and food and stuff. So like...finding the balance there is a constant work in progress.
There were some lovely moments today:
That little laugh from the neighbour in the dark
The first yellow peach of the season
Doing tricks with my cat (who is trained) for treats
Making silly little memes
Helping a friend with work stuff
Replying to some amazing comments
Watching cute dogs
Feeling pretty accomplished at putting up those compilations on Patreon/Ream even if I'm not done yet.
I hope you're having a lovely day too, anon, with many snacks.
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melsie-sims · 7 months
Text
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Back at camp, Lux and Kennedy claimed their bunks in one of the trailers.
"Did you notice anything, uh... weird... about Octavia?" Kennedy asked.
"I haven't really spent any time with her," Lux admitted. "She went to take a nap as soon as you left to go rock collecting and hasn't come out since."
"Right," Kennedy sighed. "Well, keep an eye on her, okay? I'm getting weird vibes."
Lux nodded.
"Is there anything else going on with you? You look... worried," Lux wondered.
"Am I really that transparent?" Kennedy asked with a nervous laugh. She didn't know why, but something about Lux made her feel at ease. So she admitted something she had no intention of telling anyone so early on. "I'm pregnant."
"Oh!" Lux looked surprised. "Wow! Congrats! Or... is this a good thing?" they added, reconsidering.
"Yeah, yeah, it is... it's just really complicated... But I thought you should know, just in case," Kennedy shrugged. "I'll need to tell the others soon enough too... and the mayor. But I'm not ready for that yet."
"Well, I'm here for you. Bunk mates gotta stick together," Lux grinned.
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