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#i just cant take this anymore
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me waiting for another mat pov chapter 
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fairuzfan · 4 months
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zaerxa · 9 months
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Oh take me back (to the night we met)
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soupyspaghetti · 2 years
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just venting again lmao ignore this
#personal#vent#cw suicidal ideation#i just cant take this anymore#literally the only thing keeping me alive rn is the fact that my roommate cant afford to live here without me#i feel like i dont exist like i feel like i mean nothing to anyone and thats no ones fault bc like all my friends are kind and good#but im never going to be more than someones good friend like im never going to be anyones first priority or anything#i just get to watch everyone around me get tired of me when they find Real Superior Love#and forget all the bullshit they said about platonic love being important and undervalued#time and time again i just keep running into the same situation and im so tired#i know im being selfish and i should just be happy for people but when do i get to be truly loved in a way i can actually really feel#i think maybe im incapable of feeling loved or of feeling real love beyond normal friendship#and ppl keep saying yeah i understand yeah i get it im the same way and then i watch them fall in love and be happy like no actually#we are not the same you do not understand how this feels for me im sorry to be a bitch but u are not in the same position as me#i know im not some kind of special uniquely broken person but im just so tired#i just spend every day wanting to die so bad im just empty and lonely and miserable all the time#and work is awful bc im just bad at it#and i dont have any passions so trying to find a job that doesnt make me want to die just isnt possible#idk i just want to not be alive anymore but again im safe and fine#bc i cant kill myself bc then my roommate wouldnt be able to afford the apartment#anyway. sorry for being fucking dramatic and annoying im at the end of my fucking rope for no good reason at all#i just want to feel like a human being that exists and has any sort of real identity or self concept why is that too much to ask#also im like filled with anger and rage all the time and it is so so much effort not to just be a raging asshole to everyone always#like im so angry i just want to like punch things and scream and yell and be angry but i cant be angry at anyone but me#anyway sorry im like losing my mind dkdjdj but ill be fine im sure
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skitskatdacat63 · 2 months
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DTS S6E1 "Money Talks" - Fernando Alonso & Lance Stroll
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liquidstar · 2 months
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im afraid i may have i classically conditioned myself. i have a space heater in my room, the kind that makes fan noise when i turn it on. i think ive come to associate that sound with being warm, because i recently got a mini fridge that also makes fan noise, and now i keep feeling hot even though its the same temperature its always been (which is usually cold for me). my fridge makes me warm. thats all backwards. damn you pavlov.
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pictureday2005 · 11 months
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DONT REPOST THIS thanks
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cyani07 · 2 years
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a sort of penance
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cherrytraveller · 7 months
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survival chance: 42%
Twitter || Ko-fi || Instagram
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suntails · 8 months
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a living bolt ⚡
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stained-water · 1 year
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they sure are
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murmurmurl · 3 months
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this took longer than it should've
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+ alt version under the cut because I'm not sure which one I like more,,,,
cyber punk boy when he's dead
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gunsatthaphan · 1 year
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if evil why pretty 🥺 
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cipheramnesia · 4 months
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While I'm not one for generational conflict cuz there's no war but the class war so to speak, I can't help but think that a "perfect millennial comedy routine" probably oughta consist of a little bit more substance than repackaged "kids use weird slang these days," along with askin to be given some common decency in accounta introducing Facebook and Instagram, plus also bein the boss.
Now folks I may just be a simple country baked salted ham, but it seems ta me that listin off four o the worst things in the world today ain't exactly any generation's idea of empathetic. Ain't a doubt in my mind we're more like than not cross put near three or four decades, jest sayin don't trust too well someone askin you to smile along while they insult ya and tell ya how ta act and they think ya oughta be quiet n grateful for a handful o garbage cuz they invented takin a shit.
But I don't know, don't listen to an old coot like me.
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scrambledslut · 8 months
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WHAT IS WITH THESE HOMOSEXUALS REFUSING TO RUN AWAY WITH THE LOVE OF THEIR LIVES
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wwrm · 8 months
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this was supposed to be a joke but it turned out normal. so i guess im just normal yaoiposting
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