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#like im so angry i just want to like punch things and scream and yell and be angry but i cant be angry at anyone but me
lunajay33 · 3 months
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Destiny Pt.6🐺 (Bonus)
Summary: Paul has just shifted to his new life as a wolf and feels empty without his imprint hoping he finds her soon, y/n just moved to forks to live with her dad and sister Bella and decides to go to the bone fire to make new friends
•Masterlist•
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It’s been a week since I moved in with Billy and Jake, and I’ve noticed I’ve gotten a bit better, I didn’t have to walk on eggshells and watch everything I do, plus Paul was able to come over all the time, I really loved Billy for allowing me to stay
Paul was laying in my bed as I was decorating the little room with the things I’ve brought over from my old room
I turned around and he was spread out just looking at me
“What?” I smiled as I jumped ontop of him
“You’re just beautiful” he laughed as he held my hips against his lap
“Stop that you know I don’t like all that attention” I said hiding my face in him chest
“Oh yes you do, I see the way you smile and blush after I say something like, how beautiful your eyes are, or the way you scream when you laugh, I know you love it when *I* compliment you” he poked as he rolled me over on the bed
“I suppose you may be right”
“See that’s my girl”
Those words went right to my heart, I can’t believe he’s all mine
“I love you Paul” I said softly as I placed my arms around his shoulders
He was quiet for a while but I could hear a growl or maybe some kind of purrr from his chest
“I’m sorry it’s too early I shouldn’t have…”
“No, I love you too, you’re my everything, my life” he took my hands and placed them against his chest
“You feel that?” The thrumming and warmth enveloping my hands
I nodded excitedly
“That’s my love for you, the love that will never die”
“Oh Paul how did I get so lucky” I said about to cry
For the rest of the evening we were wrapped around each other talking, sleeping, making out until Jake came barging in saying they had to go and patrol
“COME ON PAUL” Jake yelled from the front door
“You can come back here after patrol tonight that’s if you want!!” I smiled
“I’ll definitely see you tonight baby but don’t wait up for me, but I gotta go, love ya” he said running out with the boys all waiting there for him
“LOVE YOU”
~~~~~~~~~~
I stayed up as long as I could before I had to go to sleep exhausted, I pulled on my matching pajama shirt and shorts and tucked myself in
Hours later I heard the front door creaking open and a bunch of rustling around, too tired to get up I just waited till I felt Paul lift the blankets and pull me against his chest
Feeling his worth lul me to sleep
“Night baby” he whispered as I fully feel into the best sleep of my life
~~~~~
The next morning I woke up to the sun shinning in my face, I groaned roling over to be facing Paul
The sun was highlighting all his stunning features, his brown hair, his tan skin
I ran my fingers through his hair as he started to wake up
“Morning my love” I smiled
“How was your sleep with your personal heater?” He laughed
“Good except for the part where someone snores loudly in my ear”
“Hey I was exhausted from patrol give me a break”
“Okay fine just this time” then the phone rang
I ran to the phone wanting to let Jake and Billy rest longer
“Hello Black residence”
“Y/n is that you?”
“Bella? Why are you calling” I said nervous as I felt Paul come behind me and wrap his arms around my waist
“Look im sorry for what i said, we want you back”
“Bella you can’t keep using me as your punching bag when you have problems, I deserve to be happy too, and I’m happy here” I said leaning in closer to Paul
“But Charlie talks about you all the time, you could atleast visit him” she said getting angry
“Well I can call him myself and work it out, I gotta go now” I said hanging up
“You okay?”
“Ya I just can’t get a break with her”
“How about I take you to the woods for the day and show you a good time” he smirked
“I’d love that”
~~~~~~~~
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vikingstoner69 · 5 months
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Fandom; one piece
Paring: Zoro/reader
Warnings; unsafe sex, biting, choking, possoves zoro
A/N: I know this took absolutely forever! I'm really sorry it's been a rough month for me and haven't been able to do much writing. As always feedback is always welcome and my ask box is open as well.
You can see your breath as you walk beside Brook where you were freezing in this part of wano. Things had taken a turn for the worst like normal and you all were now being hunted down. You had heard Zoro was badly injured so you came with Brook to see how he was doing, you were not expecting what you found though.
"We were just sleeping!" You hear Zoro yell and peek your head inside to find Zoro laying on a mat with a beautiful woman laying beside him and you feel your heart crack. Zoro and you had been fooling around and as time went on you had thought he had felt the same you did, guess not. Biting your lip you feel eyes on you and see Zoro stare at you but you don't look him in the eye.
"I'm going back to the hut Brook" you say loudly enough for everyone to hear as tears feel your eyes. You had no right to be angry. He was not yours to clam and he could do whatever he wanted but It still hurt more than you had liked.
"Well okay, are you sure? We just got here" he says looking at you, you look at him then finally at Zoro once you pull yourself together, you would not let him see how much this hurt you.
"Yeah, I have seen all I need too and he is clearly more than fine" you say harshly, venom laced at the end making Brook look at you oddly and you heard a groan come from the hut you were standing at.
"Oi! (Y/N)! Wait!" You hear Zoro call but you ignore him and keep walking. You bite your lip harshly and hold back yours when you feel him grab your arm.
"Let go!" You snap, turning and yanking your arm free, you were pissed and hurt and wanted to be left alone. Zoro glares at you and your tone.
"What is the matter with you!?" He growls clearly not happy with your attitude but you didn't really care at that point. You ball your hands into fits wanting to punch him but you think better of it.
"Why don't you go back to her, I'm done being your plaything Zoro!" You snarl and turn away from heading back into your hut slamming the slide door behind you leaving you in a low lit room with the only light coming from the fire. You roughly rub your eyes from the tears and you felt like you wanted to scream.
"You wanna explain what you mean by that" you jump and swing around at his voice, the glim in his eye is dangerous and you almost feel like prey under his stare.
"You heard exactly what I said Zoro! I'm done with whatever the hell this is! I'm done being in love with a man who doesn't feel the same! Im-" your rant is cut off as your back hits the wall and you look up at Zoro who now towers over you and you feel your stomach drop, you knew he would never hurt you but that look excited you more than it should.
"You're not leaving me (y/n) and you're more than a play thing! Your mine" he said huskily and your mouth goes dry at his words. Zoro leans down and kisses you deeply pulling your face and body close to him and your arms are placed on his chest. You try to push him away but he is hard as stone making him growl and nip your lip and you moan.
"But your injury?" You moan as he sucks a mark into your neck. Zoro chuckles darkly before he bites leaving a mark behind that he soothes with his tongue making you cry out.
"Nothing is going to stop me from showing you that you're mine in every way" he says huskily, never breaking eye contact, your hands run up his chest to rest behind his neck where you run your nails through his hair there making him shiver.
"And you're mine?" You whisper his lips so close to yours. Zoro reaches for your hand and he places it on his chest.
"Every last part of me til I take my last breath" he says, you lean up and kiss him deeply and he growls lifting you up and you wrap your legs around him and moan at the friction. Zoro carries you over to the mat on the floor and lays you down hovering over you. Zoro undresses you leaving you bere under him.
"Zoro!" You moan your back arching as he kisses and bites down your neck. You reach up pushing his kimono open and your nails run down his chest making him growl. You lean up kissing and biting his neck leaving marks behind and he groans grinding into you.
"Who do you belong to?" He asks huskily his hot length running through your folds making you moan and you look up at him.
"You zoro I belong to you, and you belong to me" you moan and he smirks before he slowly enters you and you cling to him. You let out a moan at the stretch and burn as he bottoms out, no matter how many times you two have done this he always feels too big.
“Always so wet and tight for me” he groans as he lets you adjust. You lean up and kiss him deeply, nipping his bottom lip making him growl.
“Always for you, now fuck me zoro I need you” you moan clinging to him tightly. Zoro groans and starts to move his thrusts rocking your body making your nails claw down his back.
“Fuck your mine! All mine” he growls his hand wrapped around your throat as he pounded into you making you cry out his name.
“Oh fuck zoro! There!” You cry out as your toes curl. Zoro snarls at the sounds he was making you make and every time your nails clawed down his back he would see stars.
“Fuck! I wanna feel you cum on my cock” he growled as he pounded into you. You cling to him as the knot grows tighter, you are so close.
“Zoro please, I'm so close!” You moan your hips thrusts up taking him deeper and he groans.
“Come for me” he groans and you tighten around him as you cum hard.
“Zoro!” You cry out as you cum, Zoro hips slams into you once more before he stalls and you feel his hot cum shoot inside of you.
“God Dammit (y/n)” he pants as he leans his head down trying to catch his breath as you do the same. Zoro pulls back and grins down at you as he slowly pulls out loving the face you make every time he does. You look up at him and stroke his face softly and he leans down and kisses you deeply, stealing your breath once again.
“Never forget your mind, but I'm always here to remind you” he chuckled dark and you lean up your naked breasts rub his chest and you feel his cock twitch. You grin and flip him on his back so you were now straddling him, his hands resting on your hips as you lean down close to his ear.
“your mine Zoro don't you forget that, don't make me chain you up” you say hottiy in his ear before biting his neck.
“Promise?” He chuckles darkly and you sit up a bit.
“Don't start something we don't have time for” you smirk, climbing off him and looking for your clothes.
“Just you wait” he grins.
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homosexual-newsboy · 3 months
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How to Dance in Ohio thoughts for y'all
The red flags durring Slow Dancing asdjfhaksjdfah YES
Shoelaces? Books about Pangea? 10/10 flirting
I cried when Mel's boss yelled at them, I cried during Nothing At All, I cried durring Waves and Wires
I believe every actor in the show will continue on to do great things
THE ARTICLE I was gonna punch someone at that point I was so angry
Person in front of me: it's a show about autistic kids Me: The Police: so can you tell me what happened? Me: they ran into my knife. They ran into my knife ten times.
Sad that I will probably never see this show ever again
When people cheered for Mel or Remy ever my mom got all angry and tense and it was funny
I found it in myself to cheer for kings and queens being heteronormative right there in front of my mom and she hated me but whatever
MEL AND ASHLEY SHOULD HAVE KISSED AT THE END OF REINCARNATION PLEASE AND THANK YOU
The whole performance of Nothing At All, lighting and everything, was so perfect and I loved it
Sorry, sorry, not sorry <- reminded me of Six
It was so sad/funny/lots of emotions when Drew showed up to the dance that nobody else could make it to
I am a MAN (jk I am a minor) but I would so dress like Caroline like dying my hair pink right now
"You really want to dance with her that bad?" "YES"
The disco ball was beautiful
I related hard to Mel feeling abandoned by Ashley cuz I've had those experiences before
The part Mel and Remy sing in Butterflies after kings and queens are mentioned, sort of says to me that they feel like they don't belong in the conversation, because the idea of a king and queen excludes them (im not messing this order up in my head am i?) like I just wanted to scream "AND AN OVERLORD" cuz like yes there needs to be another option
Mel and Ashley should have kissed at the end of Reincarnation
Drew's e-mail to Dr. Amigo ashfjhadf I laughed so hard like the different ways of reading it uh yes please (that's what my brain does w/ everything lol)
I wanted to hug every single actor in the show with permission but unfortunately I was too scared to ask lol so I just stood awkwardly
I got to see the real-life Caroline at stage door and it was really cool!
I am so so grateful for the existence of this show, and I want to say thank you so much!!! I felt so seen and understood, even if only for the time I was in the theater.
I was so happy about the signs by the bathrooms (though of course I still used the ladies restroom) that said to go where you feel comfortable.
All honesty, this show showed me the good in my world. All the way around.
I have officially typed way more than I should have but let me say one more thing which is that I am about to spiral into my fanfiction phase for this story so prepare yourselves guys my Ao3 is micah_loves_sweaters if you want it lol
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melswifeasf · 1 year
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Find my way back to you pt 5
previous chapter || next chapter || series page
Pairing: Samantha Carpenter x Fem!OC
Summary: Estelles past is darker than anyone truly knew. except for one person; Sam Carpenter.
Warnings: angst, description of physical and emotional abuse.
notes: do you guys have anything you’d like to see in this series?
(word count: 6829)
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eight years ago
football friday’s were always the best of the fall. everyone including Elias went to watch it. although Elias only went because his sister did and it would be the time in which he sold the most. the first friday into November was no different, Estelle was in a tight black shirt and blue jeans with her hair down as she stood in the parking lot with her girlfriend.
they were arguing. again. it was stupid really, Estelle had been talking with one of Elias clients, the guy had asked for her number but she kindly rejected him. he took it well, smiled and apologized before he walked away. no harm done.
and yet Valerie wasn’t having it and she wasn’t listening to reason. after the whole thing at the party, Valerie had been up her ass about everyone she even looked in the direction of.
“he just asked for my number and i said no!” Estelle repeated for what felt like the hundredth time in the last hour.
Valerie scoffed, “i don’t give a fuck!” she yelled, “you’re always slutting yourself out to the first person you see!”
Estelle felt a twinge of pain in her chest at her words but she covered any trace of that as she tightened her jaw, “fuck you. i’ve been nothing but loyal to you! i told Sam to fuck off after that night and she has! what more do you want?!” the girl said desperately as she threw her hands up.
Valerie took a step closer until she was up in her face, “i want you to close your legs for one god damn minute and treat me like i deserve! you’re fucking pathetic” she said lowly, emphasizing each word with a slight pause.
Estelle’s eyes began to water, no longer able to hold back her pain, “i’ve been nothing but good to you, every time you call i’m there, when you need someone to vent to, i’m there. when you’re horny in the middle of the night and want me to warm your bed, im there so don’t you dare say that i’m not because you know that i am!” Estelle responded her voice growing in volume the more she spoke.
the taller girl shook her head, “the only thing you’re worth is a good fuck. if it weren’t for that i would’ve left your sorry ass a long time ago. don’t you think i get tired of having to be around someone as damaged as you? always crying about how your daddy left? it’s fucking exhausting being around you!” Valerie yelled, the veins on her neck popping out as she threw her hands up angrily.
Estelle chocked back a sob. “fuck you. i’m tired of you too, tired of your constant jealousy, of your shitty self esteem issues and how everything is always about you! i’m tired of you too!” a loud slap echoed throughout the parking lot as Estelle’s hand immediately cupped her face.
she was shocked, her eyes wide as the warm burning sensation was starting to build, both of her hands were shaky and she knew there would be a bruise left by how hard it hit and the ring Estelle knee Valerie always wore on her middle finger.
she didn’t get a chance to say or do anything as her wrists were being gripped tightly in a pair of strong hands, the marks that had already been left behind making it more painful.
Valerie had never been one to refrain herself from yelling, screaming, punching anything near her or simply gripping Estelle’s body tightly in order to show who’s in charge but she had never smacked her. ever.
this was the last straw and Estelle wouldn’t be forgiving her for this one.
“don’t you ever talk to me like that!” Valerie yelled an angry color overtaking her face.
Estelle couldn’t hold back her cries as she winced in pain. before either of them could say anything else a loud voice got both of their attention making them both turn toward it.
“hey! hey!” they heard a familiar voice approach them, “get your fucking hands off of her!” Sam said as she shoved Valerie off of the shorter girl.
Estelle wiped away her tears quickly and began to fix her hair so it was covering the mark that had surely already began to form.
Valerie scoffed, “of course you’re here”
Sam stood extremely close to her, one hand reaching behind her to hold Estelle back. she was standing straight, her lip twitching in anger as she starred the girl down. the two girls were practically the same height but Sam was making it so she looked taller and more intimidating.
“you better walk away before i call the cops” Sam threatened.
Valerie chuckled, “and say what? that you saw me and my girlfriend arguing? seriously, Sam. no one would give a fuck” she said amused.
“i think they’ll be interested in the bruise you gave her? or maybe i should get Elias instead?”
the smirk that was once on Valerie’s lips quickly faded at her words. the color on her face draining in an instant, her posture softening with it. she glanced back at Estelle seeing her desperately wiping away her tears as her body shook.
“whatever” she rolled her eyes and walked up to her car. she opened the door, got inside and slammed it behind her. the engine roared to life and the car screeched against the road as it drove away.
a sigh of relief escaped Sams lips once they were alone. she turned toward Estelle immediately, her hand gently touching Estelle’s arm as she held her hand against her cheek.
“are you okay?” Sam asked softly as she took a step closer.
Estelle shook her head, “i’m fine” she answered curtly. “i need to go” she said and moved her hand away from Sam’s touch.
the Carpenter girl frowned at that, “Estelle..”
“no” Estelle shook her head, “please just leave me alone, Sam.” she said and quickly walked away.
“fuck” Sam muttered as she ran a hand through her hair in frustration
Estelle had tears in her eyes as she walked to her car. she didn’t mean to be such a bitch to Sam but she couldn’t deal with it all. she had enough with her now ex girlfriend and had to find a way to hide the mark she had left from Elias otherwise he’d kill her. literally.
present
the young cop approached her ex and her new boyfriend, she had on her bomber jacket with the word ‘deputy’ on the back. she had recently talked to the cop on duty to watch Tara’s room, by now the girl was on an empty floor so they could keep better track of her. initially she wanted to be the one in charge of the room or to at least help but she had another plan.
she had seen enough stab movies to know exactly what they needed to survive this. reinforcements. Gale Weathers was out of the picture just like Sidney Prescott so she only had one person left.
as soon as her steps could be heard Sam looked away from her boyfriend and at her ex girlfriend, slightly confused. she quickly wiped at her tears. “Estelle? what’s going on? is Tara okay?” she quickly asked glancing behind Estelle to see if she had brought anyone else with her to clue her in on why she was there.
she knew Estelle like the back of her hand, even if the Estelle in front of her now was slightly different then the back talking, law breaker she had met eight years ago, she could still see the old her in a sense. her eyebrow still twitched in anger, she was still fidgety as ever, she still walked as if she owned the place and she was still as beautiful as ever.
Estelle shook her head, “everything’s fine. i was thinking and i have a plan” she said, immediately getting both of their attention.
“what is it?” Sam asked quickly.
the short girl glanced at the boyfriend, she really wanted to tell him he wasn’t a part of this but Sam could say the same about her.
“do you know Dewey?” she asked not sparing the boy another glance to make it clear her words were only directed at Sam.
“the cop from the stab movies?” Richie asked. Estelle still didn’t look at him, ignoring his idiotic question. why was he even here? it’s not like he knew Tara and she knew Sam and him had only been dating for a couple of months so it didn’t click on why he would be willing to stay in danger just to keep Sam company. he had no part in this.
“yeah” Sam nodded, “do you think he’d help?”
Estelle sighed as she shrugged softly, “i used to work with him but he got laid off a couple of months ago. he was a nice guy but i’m not sure how willing he’ll be to be a part of this all over again. but there’s only one way to find out” she said slightly hopeful.
Sam nodded in understanding, “we’ll take my car” she said holding up her keys earning an amused chuckle from Estelle.
“absolutely not. i’m the law here, we’re taking the patrol car. let’s go” she said leaving no room for argument as she began walking toward the elevator.
Richie glanced at his girlfriend with a look of dread, he did not want Estelle to be a part of it but Sam ignored him as she began to follow her ex.
the ride down the elevator was awkward. Richie had his arm wrapped around Sam as he stared at Estelle who was too busy looking at the elevator doors, waiting for them to open. she had a faint smirk on her lips, she knew what he was trying to do but it wasn’t working. in all the time she’s seen the couple Sam hadn’t touched him once, not even to hold his hand or at least she tried to not do it in front of her. when they were together Sam couldn’t keep her hands to herself for even a second. maybe things were different, they were older and the situation they were in isn’t exactly easy but Estelle knew Sam and she was the most possessive person she’d ever known. she always liked that about her.
the elevator doors dinged open revealing a slightly crowded waiting room, she didn’t talk as she reached for her glasses and put them on. it was sunny and warm out, the complete opposite of what it felt like inside the hospital. she hadn’t seen the sun since the day before, the only time she went home was to take a quick shower and that was in the middle of the night where the hospital was less busy so the guard protecting Tara could keep a closer eye on her.
once they walked outside she led them to the patrol car and got inside. Sam followed into the passenger seat whilst Richie got in the back.
“wow. i’m in the back of a cop car” Richie said with a slight chuckle earning an eye roll from Estelle as she chewed her gum louder.
“seatbelts” she said simply as she put her own belt on and put the car in drive.
Estelle didn’t have the radio playing, she was listening to the dispatch to make sure there weren’t any other attacks. the air was uncomfortable and all of them could feel it. even Richie who tried to make conversation but Estelle completely ignored him.
it was Sam who got a word out of Estelle. like always.
“Tara said you were the first one at the house when she was attacked” Sam said glancing at the young girl. “you had a security system in place? i didn’t know you guys were close”
Estelle chuckled, she wasn’t accusing her but it almost felt like she was.
“yeah well, when Elias died she was the only one there for me” she shrugged. that wasn’t completely true, Alex and Xavier had been present for the funeral and even helped her financially for a couple of months but it was different. they were Elias friends, not hers and even though they always took on the older protective brother role just like Elias, they held that sentiment for her because of him. things just weren’t the same when he died and they all slowly lost contact once she decided to be part of the police force.
Sam cleared her throat timidly, “i’m sorry Estelle. i meant to call but-”
the girl held her hand up, “don’t. it’s fine. i get it” i wasn’t important enough, that’s what she wanted to say but she refrained herself from doing so. getting mad at Sam now was useless, she can’t get mad at someone for not loving her as much as she did, for not caring enough. how could she?
Sam didn’t have anything to say either, nothing that could make up for the pain she caused and nothing that could bring him back so she didn’t. it would be useless to do so.
“there was an incident a year ago, someone tried breaking in so i was the one who had the security system in place. i’m the emergency contact” she continued still trying to explain why she was the first person Tara contacted. Sam deserved some kind of explanation, Tara was her sister after all.
“oh” Sam said softly as she glanced at Estelle. “thanks for.. taking care of her” she continued with a slight nod.
Estelle shrugged, “she’s my family, it’s what i do”
if only Estelle knew the weight those words carried in Sams heart.
eight years ago
quiet. complete and utter silence. for two weeks it had been radio silent in the Garcias home. the young girl was wrapped in a blanket in her room, the curtains in her room shut with only a peak of sunlight shining inside.
she hadn’t been two school in that amount of time, barely had a proper meal. she’d already eaten all the fast microwavable meals so she stuck with snacks like granola bars or cereal. it’s not like she had much of an appetite anyway.
she felt empty, nothing but the complete and utter darkness consuming her whole. she was alone. Elias had been arrested two weeks ago which like the domino affect, caused more things to follow. she could feel the pain of that affect still linger on her face and body. she still had a black eye, her lip was cut and there was a huge bruise on her cheek. she hadn’t been able to look at herself in the mirror in a week, every time she did she’d end up crying for hours on end. but she didn’t have to look in the mirror to know she still had a huge bruise on her ribs, it was a dark purple the last time she saw it and it hurt as much as the first day.
Sam hadn’t talked to Estelle since the day she stopped the fight between her and Valerie. she expected that much but what did surprise her was the fact that she had disappeared a week later. no one had heard from her. she knew Elias went to jail after being caught with drugs but she knew he’d never let Estelle go down for it. she had no idea where Estelle was and it was nerve wracking.
so she did the only thing she could think of. she went to school like usual to see if she’d show up Monday but she didn’t so Sam got into her car and drove to her home. she’d been there multiple times whether it was for one of Elias parties or to buy drugs.
Sam had knocked on the door but there was no answer. even rang the doorbell a couple times but there was still no answer. both Estelle and Elias car were parked in the driveway so she knew Estelle had to be home. the tall girl sighed impatiently as she stepped away from the front door and walked to the huge window. it was covered so there was no way for her to see inside and she’s sure one of the neighbors are gonna call the cops considering she looked like she was about to break into the home.
so she went around the back expecting to maybe find the back door open but it was locked. fuck.
Sam defeatedly began to walk back to her car, there was no way inside and Estelle wasn’t answering the door. it’s not like she had her number to text or call her. as she was walking she realized that Estelle’s room was on that side of the house, she had seen her curtains open and her inside the room the last time she went to pick up her usual stuff from Elias. she stopped where she was and glanced up at the window, it was closed and the curtains were closed. there was a tree right beside it, she could possibly climb it but there was no guarantee Estelle would let her in.
the girl wiped her hands off on her pants and began to climb. it was hard to get a grip at first, it’s not like she had any experience climbing trees and her foot kept slipping. eventually she was on the closest branch, she held onto it with one hand and reached for the window with the other. her hand closed into a fist and she knocked. no response. she knocked one, twice and finally at the third knock the curtains were pulled apart roughly to reveal an irritated Estelle.
Sams lips let out a small gasp at the sight of her beaten down state. Estelle’s eye was swollen to the point in which it was slightly closed, it was purple and bruised as well as her cheek. she could see Estelle holding her stomach with one hand making her question if she was injured there too. what the hell happened?
the window abruptly opened and Estelle spoke with an annoyed voice, “what do you want?”
Sams mouth opened and closed for a second, she was speechless. what could she say? she knew if she asked what happened Estelle wouldn’t tell her. she’d learned her lesson the time they talked in the bathroom. but she needed to know, god, she had to. what if she needed help? what if Estelle was in danger? had Valerie done it?
“i-i.. you haven’t been at school. i came to check in on you” Sam finally said. she couldn’t bring up the bruises. not yet.
Estelle rolled her eyes. “im fine. you can go now” she said and stepped away from the window. the young girl expected Sam to take the hint and leave but instead the older girl climbed through it and stepped into the bedroom.
“im serious, Estelle. i’m worried about you.. i mean- look at you” Sam finally said not able to bite her tongue about this. maybe the decision to not ask about the bruises lasted two seconds but she couldn’t stop herself.
Estelle scoffed, “it’s none of your business. please get the fuck out of my house” she continued and pointed at the window. Sam didn’t take her eyes off of her though and Estelle was beginning to grow self conscious. no one had ever seen her like this, it’s why she didn’t go to school and she didn’t want Sam to be the first person to ever witness the fucked up life she had. she wasn’t quite sure why even cared, Sam and her had only kissed once drunkenly and her opinion shouldn’t mean anything to her but it did. she wished it didn’t, wished she could not care that the girl in front of her was seeing her in her most vulnerable state.
the older Carpenter girl finally moved from her spot and walked toward the window. Estelle expected her to leave and to finally be alone again but instead Sam closed it and the curtains in the process.
Estelle sighed heavily, “what are you doing?” she sounded as exhausted as she felt and Sam just wanted to pull her into a tight hug and not let go. Estelle would never let that happen though.
“im staying” Sam shrugged as if it were the most simple answer ever. “you can kick me out if you want but i’m staying” she said firmly and Estelle knew that there was truly no room for discussion.
“whatever” she shook her head and climbed back into bed.
-
Tuesday
Estelle had slept through most of the day. it was dark out now and when she reached for her phone she saw it was seven. the girl slowly threw the covers off of her and got out of bed. she needed to take some pain killers, the bruise on her stomach was only growing in pain and she couldn’t deal anymore. she had been taking Tylenol and ibuprofen but neither worked, she’d still feel the pulsing in her face and stomach region. she was so tired of the pain. so instead of reaching for the pill bottles beside her bed she went into her brothers room. she knew where he stored his drugs, in the safe stuffed inside closet. the combination was her birthday. she always thought that was sweet.
the girl grabbed the weed stored in a ziplock bag as well as the rolling paper. she didn’t have much of any experience with it but she wasn’t going to take hard drugs which was the only thing Elias had so weed would have to do.
she didn’t bother walking out of the room to smoke it, she didn’t need the smell lingering anywhere else in the house and Elias room always reeked of weed anyway. she opened the window like she’d seen her brother do countless times before and lit up the small joint. ten minutes later (which she mostly spent coughing) the small bud was too small so she put it out on the ashtray sitting on the outside part of the window.
her throat felt as dry as her eyes, this was why she never smoked. her hands were tingling and the pain was long forgotten, it was instead replaced by dizziness. she wasn’t super high but enough to feel her heart racing in her chest faster than usual. she’d regret this later - possibly but at least she wasn’t in pain anymore.
the girl held onto her stomach with her left hand and held onto the railing with the other as she walked down the steps.
she’d spent all day sleeping she had almost forgotten Sam had told her she’d be staying the day before. truthfully she fully expected Sam to be gone by now but instead of being met with an empty house she saw Sam in the kitchen making what looked to be spaghetti.
had she gone shopping? there was nothing in the fridge or cabinets to make food, especially not considering Elias was the one who did the grocery shopping and he was arrested before he could go on his weekly errand. all of the frozen food that was there was stored just in case they were low on money, Elias hated when his sister ate it. he always said she needed real food.
“what are you still doing here?” Estelle asked with a slight rasp to her voice. she ignored Sam as she prepared a plate near the stove and went to the fridge for a bottle of water.
“i told you i was staying,” Sam shrugged as if it were the most obvious this - which it was but Estelle never thought she’d be serious about it. “and you haven’t eaten all day so sit” she said and pointed at the dining room table.
Estelle glanced at it for a split second and then at the plate that was already resting on the kitchen island. without a second thought she grabbed the plate and began walking to her room.
she wouldn’t be keeping someone company when she didn’t even want them in her house.
-
Wednesday
much like Tuesday Estelle spent most of the day sleeping. she had gone back to her brothers to smoke another joint. this wasn’t like her, she’d never dug into his stash before, it didn’t matter how bad her beatings were but this was the worst it’d ever been. she’d usually be healed in a week tops two but she knew this wouldn’t be going away for another two weeks meaning she wouldn’t be attending school for almost a month. the only way she’d show her face would be if the bruises on her face faded to the point in which she could cover them with makeup. it didn’t really matter if the bruise on her stomach went away by then, she’d endure that pain like she always would.
it was just too painful this time around. tylenol wouldn’t cure the pain and she needed something stronger. even if she hated weed, even if she hated what it had to done to her brother and the people around her. she was a hypocrite but she couldn’t find a single part of her that cared. she deserved this, after everything she’d been through she deserved this.
once she felt high enough she locked the drugs away - except for a small bag that was still in her hand and went downstairs where she was sure Sam still was. she hadn’t heard the front door open all day and she had heard the television playing some comedy movie from her room. it was ridiculous that she was still there. seriously, Estelle couldn’t understand what she wanted.
like expected the girl was sitting on the couch intently watching the movie playing on the screen. there was just something different this time around, she wasn’t wearing the same clothes as before and there was a duffle bag sitting on the floor beside the fireplace.
“why are you here?” Estelle spoke abruptly causing Sam to flinch and whip her head around to face the smaller girl. she was slightly shocked at first but recovered almost instantly.
“i told you already, im not leaving you alone like this” she answered earning an eye roll from Estelle.
“seriously Sam. what the fuck do you want? drugs? fine. here” she said throwing a bag of weed to the girl along with oxy. Sam was obviously confused as she looked down at the bag that landed beside her. “you don’t even have to pay me. it’s all covered just please leave me the fuck alone” Estelle said pissed off by now. who did she think she was coming to her house and staying like they knew each other? like they were friends?
Sam didn’t move a muscle toward the bag as she looked back at the girl, “i don’t want drugs, Estelle. i just don’t think you should be alone right now” she said calmly.
Estelle scoffed, “what the fuck do you even know about it? you know nothing about me. you think we kiss once while i’m wasted and i’m in love with you? please, Sam. you’re just a fucking junkie and i’d never get with someone like you” she fired at the girl angrily.
Estelle knew she had hurt Sam by the look on her face, she regretted it as soon as she said it. the pained look in Sams eyes was enough for Estelle’s chest to tighten in pain. “maybe you’re right” Sam said. “maybe i’m a junkies who isn’t to your standards but i can’t just leave you like this Estelle. you are in obvious pain, you can’t stand without holding onto something and don’t even get me started on your eye!” she exclaimed and began to stand.
Estelle rolled her eyes again, “you don’t know shit about this Samantha. this isn’t any of your business so just leave me the fuck alone” she yelled at the taller girl. she didn’t bother listening to Sam stubbornly tell her she wasn’t going anywhere as she turned around and walked back up to her room, slamming the door behind her in the process.
-
Thursday
there’s a certain point in which a human can go without breaking down. that point for Estelle was ten days after the incident took place. she’d cried before, sure, but not like this. not with sobs racking her body like an avalanche, not with tears rushing down her face with no sign of ever stopping, not with her chest tightening and her lungs rapidly running out of oxygen. she couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t see and all she could feel was herself slowly drowning in her pain.
it wasn’t just the pain physically, it was emotional and she couldn’t deal with it anymore. she was so fucking damaged and she had no idea how she would ever feel like a normal person again. she had internal and external scars that she knew would never ever go away. it didn’t matter how much alcohol she took, how much weed she smoked, how many times she tried to disguise that pain with it of her girlfriends emotional abuse. she’d always just be this.
the other teen in the house could hear the loud crying from the living room. it was dark outside by now and she had been hearing her cries for the part hour. when the day started she thought it would progress like it had the last couple of days but Estelle never opened her door and went to her brothers room to get high, she didn’t go downstairs to grab a plate of food or lash out on her again.
she simply didn’t leave her room.
Sam had made dinner for them both and she wanted to apologize to Estelle and let her know that if she really wanted her to leave, she would. she understood it was weird to be in her house, they barely knew each other but she’d known all about Estelle’s father leaving and her mother dying. she knew Elias was the only person Estelle had and now he was in jail. she couldn’t leave her alone. not when she was in so much pain.
Estelle heard a soft knock on her door causing her to quickly pull the blanket up to her lips to try and cover up her crying.
Sams voice was gentle and it hurt Estelle even more how sensitive she was being toward her, “i made some soup” she said. “you don’t have to come out, i can bring it up for you. but..” Estelle heard the girl trail off and even though she couldn’t see her, she could almost see Sam biting her bottom lip with her eyebrows furrowed as she thought about what to say next. “if you want.. maybe we can watch a movie. i don’t know but whatever you need just let me know”
Estelle didn’t come down to grab food or watch the movie Sam offered that day.
-
Friday
hot water ran down Estelle’s nude body. at first it made her wince whenever it would hit her stomach region or when it landed anywhere on her face but it all slowly numbed.
she hadn’t showered since Monday, the pain was too much. it felt good, refreshing even, to finally wipe away the dried blood along with the dried tears from all the crying she had done the night before.
the girl soon turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. her mirror was slightly foggy but she could still make herself out. her eyes was only slightly better, it wasn’t that swollen but she still couldn’t open it all the way. the color hadn’t changed and the bruise on her cheek was only healing in pain. maybe that was because of the drugs though. she didn’t bother looking at her stomach, both the pain and the bruise hadn’t changed at all.
she threw on a pair of sweatpants and one of her brothers hoodies before stepping out of the bathroom. her hair was wet and water droplets were hitting the floor along with her hoodie.
she took a deep breath and then opened her bedroom door. it was time to stop being a bitch. time to grow up and realize she had someone in her house that was going through all this effort just to make sure she wasn’t alone.
as soon as she stepped down from the last step she saw Sam on the couch and scrolling through her phone. she didn’t seem to notice Estelle’s presence and the shorter girl wasn’t going to any efforts to alert her.
the younger girl walked to the kitchen and grabbed a clean plate, the noise finally grabbing Sams attention. she locked her phone and placed it on the table beside her as she turned her body to look at Estelle. none of them spoke.
Estelle quietly grabbed some food and put it in the microwave. two minutes later she was walking toward Sam with a bowl of food in one hand along with a bottle of water in the other. she was severely dehydrated at this point.
the girl silently sat down on the furthest end of the couch whilst Sam was still sat on the other. Estelle placed her bottle of water on the coffee table and got comfortable where she was. Sam tried not to look at her as she watched the television. the shorter girl took a bite out of the food and her eyes widened, it was amazing. she wasn’t sure if that was the hunger talking but either way was visibly pleased.
Estelle realized Sam wasn’t going to any efforts to talk which made her sigh. “im sorry” she finally said.
Sam glanced at her with a neutral expression. damn, Estelle couldn’t help but think she had been a bigger dick than she realized. that was a stupid thought considering she’d literally called her a junkie.
“i was really fucked up and i didn’t mean any of the stuff i said” she continued hoping Sam would say something - anything.
her hopes weren’t let down as Sam finally turned to look at her, “it’s fine. you were just saying shit. i know how it goes” she shrugged. Sam was playing it down and Estelle didn’t feel like she deserved that.
“it’s not okay, though. you’re not a junkie and frankly what you do isn’t any of my business. and if we’re being honest it’s me who doesn’t deserve you, not the other way around” Estelle admitted with a soft chuckle.
Sam didn’t say anything but Estelle could see a faint smile appear on her lips and that was enough for her to know she had accepted her apology. but Estelle knew that wasn’t enough, she needed to tell someone. even if it was someone she’d barely known, even if it was one of her brothers clients. she just couldn’t keep this to herself anymore and Sam had done nothing but tried to be there for her these last couple of days.
the young girl placed her bowl on the table in front of her before leaning back on the couch. what she would be saying wasn’t something that could be taken lightly, it was heavy shit and she just really hoped it wouldn’t scare Sam away. “i was ten years old when my mom died” Sam didn’t move a muscle or say anything but Estelle knew she was listening. “my dad had always been an abusive asshole but one day he was really drunk and his fists were hitting a lot harder until suddenly she just stopped breathing” tears were already forming in Estelle’s eyes and she felt pathetic for it. “but he’s a lawyer so he got his most important contacts to rule it an accident and he got left off the hook easily. no one really knew what happened, it was a closed casket funeral and everyone loved him so no one ever thought he’d be capable of such a thing” she chuckled dryly.
Sam felt tears forming in her own eyes at Estelle’s words. she knew what it was like losing a parent but she couldn’t begin to imagine what Estelle went through. sure, her father left but she knew he was still alive, somewhere out there but still alive. Estelle didn’t have that privilege.
“after she died i was his next punching bag. he wasn’t home much considering he couldn’t live with his own guilt but on the rare occasion he did come home, he’d be drunk and angry and he always said i looked like her so he’d come into my room at night and..” she trailed off as her voice broke and Sam didn’t need her to finish her sentence to know what she meant. the hand that was resting on Sams lap made its way toward Estelle. the girl was staring at her lap so she didn’t notice Sam was reaching for her hand until she was holding it.
the shorter girl looked up at Sam with teary eyes and Sam shot her a comforting smile. and it did just that.
“it didn’t last long, once Elias turned sixteen he started to realize what he was doing and one night while… it was happening he came into the room and fought back. my dad always was afraid of him so he when Elias threatened to tell everyone how my mom actually died, he left town and left us alone” Estelle said and wiped at her tears. “but he was angry he had to move away so he stopped giving us money which led to Elias selling drugs.”
Sam squeezed the girls hand to show she was still listening. “we knew if we called CPS he’d just win them over and move back in so we didn’t bother. things were fine up until the first time Elias got arrested. my dad knew he wasn’t home so he came back and..” she couldn’t finish her sentence again but Sam still understood what she meant. “i begged him to pay bail but he never did, he knew he had an advantage. once Elias was released he knew what he did to me and told all of my moms family. after that they started helping out and some even offered us a place to stay but Elias never wanted to” Estelle shrugged.
Sam frowned, “why not?” she wasn’t sure if asking was insensitive but that didn’t sound like Elias, considering he tried to protect Estelle as much as he did, why wouldn’t he want to give her a better life with a stable home and family.
“i guess he just didn’t trust anyone else after my dad” Estelle shrugged once more. “but he promised to be more careful so he wouldn’t get arrested again. up until almost two weeks ago” she continued with a sigh. “my dad came back to town the day after he was.”
Sams stomach dropped at her words. she hadn’t put two and two together but now she knew how Estelle got the bruises. how could a father do that to his own daughter?
“he didn’t.. yknow touch me like that but he was pissed off that he got a call saying his son is in jail and now that he’s in a committed relationship, he was mad that he had to stop his new life to come back here. he took it out on me and yeah” Estelle said as if it were no big deal.
Sam shifted closer to the girl hesitantly but once she was sure Estelle wasn’t going to move away she continued to move closer until she could wrap an arm around the girls petite body. “i know there’s nothing i could ever say to heal what happened to you and i’m so sorry that it did. that man is a shitty person and i promise i won’t let him get near you again” she said firmly making Estelle smile as she let her head fall on the girls chest.
“you gonna be my knight and shinning armor miss Carpenter?” Estelle joked.
Sam shrugged with a sheepish smile. “maybe. i might steal your heart after all” she joked back.
but Estelle knew she wasn’t joking. “maybe you already have” she said lowly as she moved impossibly closer to Sam. the taller girl held her even tighter in response.
she deserved someone like her, someone who cared enough to endure shitty words and the cold shoulder and even an uncomfortable couch simply just to show she wasn’t alone. Estelle deserved a love that wouldn’t leave her. one that would be unconditional and one that wouldn’t cause her harm whether that’s emotional or physical.
she deserved to be loved by someone that cared enough to stay.
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jenniferjareauwife · 9 days
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im sorry to keep asking you to write more but i am so obsessed with it, would you write andrew spreading awful rumors at school abt jj's daughter and jj dealing with it
Rumors
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pairing: jennifer jareau x daughter reader
category: hurt/comfort
warnings: none
word count: 607
age: 16
summary: andrew is now spreading rumors about you
a/n: i wanna write a pt4 with the rage room
I got home and slammed the door, tears running down my face after 20 minutes of holding them back on the bus. "Hey baby- what's wrong?" My mom stood up from the couch, slamming her laptop closed when she saw my tears.
"I'm not going back there. I'm not going to school ever again. You can't make me-"
"Shh. Just slow down. Take a breath, ok?" I shook my head, throwing my backpack across the room. "Honey. You need to take a deep breath." Her voice was stern but I knew she was worried. "Ok. Now talk to me. What's going on?"
"Andrew."
"Ok? What did he do? Did he text you? It hasn't been two months yet?"
"No. He didn't text me. I blocked his number but he's spreading rumors about me at school."
"Oh." I saw her heart drop through her facial features. "Oh my God, what is he saying?"
"He's saying I cheated on him and that I'm a whore and that I had sex with all of his friends. Basically he said we all had an orgy. It just makes me mad. The only upside is that some people now think he's gay. Because who else would have sex with all their friends?" My mom laughed softly.
"Is that all you're feeling?"
"No! I'm angry as hell and I want to beat his ass!" Hot tears were flowing down my face. I couldn't tell if I was angry or sad or both. "Don't tell me to take a breath, ok? I need to let it out."
"Ok then. Let it out. Do you need to scream? You can scream at me if you need to honey, I'm here."
"I don't want to scream at you. I just want to punch his ugly face."
"Give me one second." She went upstairs and came back down about five minutes later. She had a picture of Andrew taped to a pillow.
"What's this?"
"You can punch his face."
"Mom this is the stupidest thing."
"It'll help. I promise. Trust me on this honey, ok?" I sighed and hesitated before stepping back and punching the pillow as hard as I could. It helped a bit but it wasn't satisfying. "Helped a bit?"
"Only a bit." I flopped down on the couch, feeling fresh tears flow down my face. "I'm not a whore."
"I know you're not a whore." Her voice softened and she threw the pillow across the room. She sat down next to me on the couch, trying to put her arms around me but I didn't let her.
"I don't want to be touched right now mom." She nodded, backing away a bit.
"Are you ok though?"
"Do you think I'm ok?" I snapped.
"Ok. Dumb question. I'm sorry." She sighed but I shook my head.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped."
"You're allowed to snap. Your ex boyfriend is spreading horrible rumors about you. You're allowed to yell. I know it's not personal, ok? You can take it out on me if you need to. I'm fine with that."
"I don't want to take it out on you."
"Well you have to let it out somehow."
"Not like that though." I curled up in a ball on the edge of that couch. "I'll just...go to the gym or something."
"Rage room?" My eyebrows raised.
"A rage room? Oh my God please that would help so much! Can we please go?" I pleaded.
"Yeah we can go. I'll book an appointment, ok?" I nodded and smiled to myself. Thinking about smashing Andrew's face with a sledgehammer was very appealing right now.
"Thanks mom."
"Of course."
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cherry1sblog · 1 year
Text
My collage roommate (part 2)
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!!YJW!!
Summary:u entered collage everything was going amazing u had your bsf with u but there was one problem ur collage roommate… (also there is a plot twist about heeseung and jungwon there not as close as u think)
Warnings:cursing kissing (WILL EVENTUALLY BE A SMUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER JUST GIVE ME SOME TIME -also tell me if I missed any this
RECAP:
“Yeah that’s right just walk away that’s why yuji never wanted to be with just walk away from all your problems that’s probly why she wouldn’t even have sex with u!”
He stoped and let go of your hand and the next thing u know he’s punching heeseung
OMG JUNGWON
//BACK TO SCENE \\
“OMG JUNGWON!!”
You were completely shocked not knowing what to do but people obviously heard you screaming so people started to gather around but Jake and sunoo pushed thrue the crowd to see
“YO wtf are you guys doing “
Jake tried to pull jungwon off of heeseung after they both got each others punched jungwon wouldn’t stop pushing jake to the ground and leaving everyone shocked screaming yelling recording egging it on
“STOP SUNOO SUNGHOON DO DOMETHING”
At this point sunoo had gotten upset cause it was his party they decided to fight at jake was pissed everything was going wrong here sunoo grabbed jungwon and pushed him off sunghoon and Jake grabbing heeseung
“WTH DO YOU GUYS THINK YOUR DOOING “
“Maybe ask jungwon hes being a little bitch”
“Call me a bitch agian I just kicked your ass!!”
“Oh y-
“STOP IT I don’t know why tf you guys are fighting but I wanna go home you guys can be pricks later “
“Jake can you please take me home “
“Uh Sure”
“Wait y/n I was gonna take u-
“You’ve done enough for tonight you two should stay and help sunoo clean up you guys fucked up his party “
Jake took you to his car everyone eles left the comotion im almost positive heeseung went home pissed off sunoo obviously upset at the boys but wasn’t to upset cause the night still continued after you were in jakes car silent until he spoke to you
“Y/n”
You turned your head to face him
“You know whatever they said back there don’t pay attention to it”
“Yk I was trying to but everything was so outta pocket it’s messing with me “
“Ik you and jungwon just barley are getting to know eachother but he really dose like you “
“Can I ask you somthing “
Jake nodded as a response
“Who’s yuji and why did she break up with jungwon”
“Ah I really shouldn’t be the one to tell you this “
“Please jake”
“Ugh Fine Yuji we’ll she was um something she cheated on jungwon a lot and jungwon was done with it after he found out heeseung and her got drunk and accidentally slept Together “
“What that’s crazy heeseung dosent seem like that type of guy”
“Weel he was drunk but that’s what happened and after they broke up she spread lies cause she didn’t want people to know she was a cheater so she said things like Jungwons bad in bed he’s a virgin things like that”
“Damn I thought you guys were all best freinds he even said so himself “
“Well he’s not the type of person to hold a grudge so he forgave him but heeseung can be an ass about it sometimes “
“Ah I see “
The whole car ride to your dorm was more quiet after that convo you guys had you had no idea that happened to jungwon and well that girl you saw I Gusse he really did have a reason to be angry at her you were more confused as to why heeseung felt the need to be an ass still if jungwon had already forgave him maybe he was the one still caught up?
//when jungwon got home\\
You wanted to stay up and ask jungwon what happend so as soon as you heard him open the door to the dorm u marched to him just as he was walking thrue the hallway part to take his shoes off
“Wth was that yang”
“What’s it to you “
“Idk maybe the fact my name was brought up so many times”
“So many times are you talking about how heeseung said I wanted to fuck you “
“I-
“If that what you thought I’m sorry but I’m just tryna make sure your not a pon in his game “
“I can take care of myself if your so worried and what if I did huh What’s It To YOU”
“Yk what I couldn’t give a fuck less what you do”
You just nodded at him and picked at your lip and grabed you phone and wallet and a jacket and put on your shoes as fast as you could
“What are u Doing “
“Dw about it you couldn’t give a fuck less what I do right “
He grabbed your wrist getting you to stay you looked at him and threw your hand off of him
“Scince you couldn’t give a fuck less I’m going to heeseung s Place “
He pushed u back inside locked the door and pinned you to the wall
“What makes you think your going over there princess”
……….
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wanyinchen · 9 months
Text
"I REALLY REALLY REALLY HOPE THAT AZIRAPHALE WOULDN'T GET HURT BY HIS DECISION TO GO BACK TO HEAVEN AND TAKE UP THE MANTLE OF SUPREME," was a thing I said in my last dump post. I was deep in denial and grief lmao
Like, who am I kidding, OF COURSE, Aziraphale is going to get hurt. IT'S GOOD OMEN'S HEAVEN FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE. It's going to be sterile, aseptic, void of personality, bland, and so fucking empty— all the things that do NOT reflect the home Aziraphale has built on earth.
Our babie angel is in his ✨religious-trauma relapse era✨, trust me I would know (not that I am traumatized by it too much, but I just know that it's NEVER going to be easy. To just simply go "Oh that's wrong, I shouldn't believe that! I'm gonna erase that from my mind now and everything will be absolutely dandy🥰!" Nah, that's not how it works. These types of behaviors are socialized into the very crevices of your very impressionable brain.)
And good lord the Metatron is playing Aziraphale like he's a fucking muppet in an eternally bland puppet show at heaven's own version of West End. He's dangling the hope of "reformation and institutional change" in front of Aziraphale, and Aziraphale being the kind person that he is— someone who just wants to genuinely do the right thing, like really, his heart is always at the right place. He literally only wants to see the best of anyone— it's literal catnip.
If he agrees, then he can make a difference! He can change things! He can finally dismantle the very system that abused him! This is a win, right? This is the right thing to do! No matter how much his soul screams out for Crowley, no matter how much his heart breaks, he is doing the right thing. This is the duty that the voice of God themself has appointed to him! This must be what the Almighty planned for him! No matter. No matter. No matter. This is NOT about him, this is about reformation. This is bigger than he and Crowley. This is about making sure that no one has to suffer continuous dismissal and patronization, emotional abuse, and invalidation from heaven ever again.
(He's doing this for Crowley too. Of course, he is. He has now the chance. The chance to have the power for Crowley to finally reunite with his beloved nebulae and stars and cosmos. He remembers how happy Crowley was when he had stardust on his fingertips and the joy of creation lighting up his beautiful face, if only he could make Crowley see—)
Oh, Aziraphale, the first thing you must know is that any kind of transformation will only work if the wound you are bearing is healed if the wound has bled and clotted and scarred. Only then you can ever have the hopes of changing the system— you can only help others when you are healed, if not, you're just going to bleed all over the place.
He needs to process that trauma: be sad about it, be angry about it, feel grief from it, yell about it, write about it, face it head-on, talk about it to others, introspect about it so much that you feel like you have doused yourself in antiseptics repeatedly, and finally let the wounds heal.
IM SO MAD IM SO SAD IM SO SMAD.
I WILL NEVER TRUST THAT HALF-ASSED SANTA-LOOKING BITCH EVER. this is the same bitch who so joyously declared, "The point is to win it [the war]!" I will never forget that, not as long as I breathe and can haunt the earth.
And dear lord, poor Crowley. My heart broke and aches so much for him. Because after all this time, all the progress he and aziraphale made post-apocawhoopsies and the literal six thousand years went seemingly down the drain.
(Don't worry. Its still there, its just underneath all the tons of trauma and the emotional baggage of Aziraphale)
In any case, Aziraphale choosing heaven —no matter what the reasons are— is a simultaneous gut punch, bitch slap, punch-to-the-throat, kick to the balls X 10000000 combo to Crowley. After everything, after EVERYTHING, Aziraphale will still not choose him. He can only take so much. The trust that they used to have will never be the same, it has fractured down to its foundations and the final blow was when Aziraphale said "i forgive you" after that kiss. It's Armageddon all over again but only so much worse. Aziraphale was not accidentally discorporated or waylaid by any external forces, it was Aziraphale who walked away.
He really had hoped, he really steeled himself and pulled off his shades and said "i love you, i need you, and i want you for all of eternity. Please choose me." And then Aziraphale didn't.
The Love is there— will ALWAYS, ALWAYS be there, for that Love is written on the very stars he used to create. Crowley had hung that Love in the sky too, as it is the most beautiful thing he ever made, kept, and chosen. He loves Aziraphale for so long that he doesn't know how not to. The Love will always be there, under his skin, flowing through his ichor, on every feather of his wings, and on every second of his existence. But the trust? The trust that he used to have is an entirely different thing. He knows that Aziraphale loves him back with the same all-encompassing intensity of millions of supernovas. But what he doesn't now trust is whether Aziraphale will choose that Love.
Now i must stop typing i before i hurl myself to the freeway and lie down right there
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Here's a fic. Spoiler warning for the entirety of the TV series for I have Finished it.
Im-por-tant
TW: violence
Description: Yellow fights and shouts and hurts and is hurt as he wants to help and generally has a horrible time.
~ ~ ~
You hate him. You hate him so much.
It's his fault. It's his own fault. He yelled at you, being mean and horr- and bad when he's your friend.
The glass digs into the fabric of your hand, but you don't care. It's hard to, when trying to think about why you hurt your friend aches more than the cut.
You shriek as the other one smashes glass onto your head. Hurts. Hurts. Hurts more than thoughts and your hand and even worse-
Worse? Worse, like more, like better but bad. No thing worse nothing worse than a friend betr- har- hurting you-
(He's your friend but he hurt you. You're his friend but you hurt him. That's just how things are now and will always be because that world's funny like-)
Glass is in your side you scream angry because that hurt and hurt and it's not fair it's not- not- it-
It hurts to think. You can only really hand- do quick thoughts now. Short thoughts. Simple thoughts. Simpleton-
Who's fault is that?
Your fault. Always your fault. Dumb. Stupid. Slow. Soft in the-
No. No. Their fault. Their fault her fault his fault now, because- be-cause-
You crash to the ground, glass piercing your back. A weight on you, because of a body on you-
For a moment, contacts connect. Jostled just the right way, through the filth and grime. A bit of juice, jolting your mind, a needle in a haystack, fresh air in a gas chamber-
You hate him. You hate him so much because-
He's your friend but he put that awful, awful worm in your brain. The pillow-soft, safe happy place in your mind tainted and twisted, your friends gone and your brother dead, and for what? To keep being awful to you? To call you names and call you wrong-
He's your friend but he couldn't let you be happy. He gave your arm back but he took your retirement card and Claire and Janet away because he couldn't stand not being the center of attention and getting his beloved respect-
He's your friend and you love him, you loved him so much that you dug him back out and when you picked up that shovel and broke the head-plank of that coffin and saw him moving you were so happy. But he keeps throwing punches and drawing blood and he-
He likes you better, like this. A dummy in every sense of the word. A moron who can't think for himself, a simpleton who can't slight anyone's ego-
Don't move. Don't move, now. You have your head. Move out of the way. Be careful. Find batteries. Clean these ones. You have to, because for all the hate you have for him, and him too for being so spineless but not now, you love them. You love your friends. Just move slowly, before-
Red hair parts to reveal a roaring maw. He's so loud now. He shouts so much and you hate that you hate-
A toothy bill digs into your leg and you scream you-
You-
You
You hate him. You hate them. You were busy you had- there was-
Important. Im-por-tant. Something important, with you, and that never happens, because you're dumb and stupid. They made you lose it. The thing. The imp- the- the thing, with you, the special thing-
You won't share with them. The special thing, when you have it. They don't get it. They won't get it. No special for them.
Im-por-tant. They're yelling. They're hurting. You hurt too. You're shouting too. Grown-ups are loud when they say important things. Here. Right now, hurting each other. Being loud. This is important.
There's a sharp thing in your hand, and in the rest of you. They have sharp things too. They're hurt too. This is important, hitting each other. Screaming.
You hit and scream and hit and scream. This is important. This is right. You hate him, and him. This feels right because you hate them.
You want to cry. You don't know why.
You hate them so much.
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eliomoon · 8 months
Text
my friend
a roar ripped through the air, then a clash. Miguel on the floor looking at Hesper in shock, shocked that they tackled him. they looked murderous. "Who the fuck do you think you are!" their yell rang out through the hq. "what gives you the fucking right to decide some ones fate!" they screamed. miles looked at his best friend in shock, he never saw them this angry. Miguel's face scowled as he stood up. "I'm making sure that the multiverse doesn't clasp because of him. he is ruining things." Miguel said glaring at Hesper. "that's fucking bull shit. miles has done nothing wrong you just don't like things out of your control." they said. their teeth hurt from gritting them so hard. Miguel and Hesper kept arguing back and forth. "he doesn't belong here!" he yelled "yes he does he is the best spiderman I know he works hard and twice the spider man you are!" they yelled. "he's a anomaly that spider that bit him shouldn't have!" Miguel yelled "so what !" they yelled. "a universe doesn't have a spider man do to him!" Miguel said pointing to miles. "its not miles fault. he wasn't the one the fucking built the collider! he wasn't the one fucking with the multiverse it was king pen!!" they yelled at Miguel. miles was worried for Hesper they were yelling so much that he wonder why their throat wasn't totaled with all the yelling. Miguel went quiet at that before arguing back, "he created the spot!" he yelled. "how the fuck was he supposed to know what would happen!! your blaming him for king pens mistake, your blaming him for doc ocks mistake." they gritted out.
they stared at each other. Hesper looking ready to throw down. Miguel looking at them as they were just a dumb child. "miles go now stop the spot save your dad. ill keep this dick busy" Hesper said cracking their neck and knuckles. "no he will not" Miguel said looking ready to chase if miles if he did run. everything was tense for a moment like a taunt rubber band. soon it snapped. miles bolted to the go home portal. Miguel lunged to stop him but was tackled. "go miles run ill find you once im done!" Hesper yelled. "I hold you to that!!" miles yelled back. the spider people didn't know what to do, so they stayed and watched the fight infront of them break out. it was bloody. they both weren't holding back. Hesper wasn't holding back from the punch and kicks and Miguel was digging his claws into any skin he could get. "i wont let you hurt miles like you hurt me! i wont let you take his family like you took mine!" they yelled punching Miguel in the eye. wincing as he clawed their face. peter was watching in horror. "kid stop!! your doing to much!" peter yelled shielding maydays eyes. "Stay out of this you knew what was going to happen!! you and Gwen both did and you didn't tell him!" they yelled dodging a swipe from Miguel. "your letting your heart cloud your mind. his actions will cause a universe to clasp!" miguel yelled.
hesper ripped out their mask. "stop acting like your some fucking higher being your not!! you shouldn't be messing with any universe at all!" they yelled breathing heavily. blood seeping from the cuts on their face. they would be added to the scars they already have on their face. "so youd selfishly let him kill multiple people just to save his father!" miguel yelled. "hes not killing anyone!! he is different from you!" they yelled "he'll save his father and nothing will clasp and he will have proved your wrong. " they said. "you just want him to prove me wrong so you can justify your anger because of their deaths. " miguel said seething at them. "you think im trying to make this about me? no im makig this about the multiple people you let pass just to save millions. every life matter. but people also die, it is nature." they said their muslce burning as they pushed their body forward. "your so selfish" miguel said. "if being selfish is me wanting to keep the people i love safe and happy then yes i am" they said. "lyla!" miguel called out. and the holagram lady appeared. "tell me whats happening." he said panting as he stood. hespers body started to slump but was caught by hobie. "thank you hobie" they said panting. "c'mon on lets get you to med bay." he said leading them away. "no i cant miguel..." they started. "will do nothing hes being proved wrong like you said" hobie said. as they entered the med bay and hesper was laid down. their anderline ran out and they fainted.
hesper groaned sitting up and craddling their head. they turned their looking at a mirror. "well shit" they laughed dryly. they slash on their face that miguel left had fully healed. but it left scars, their long lines. starting from the left of the top corner of their head to the right corner of their mouth. gwen walked in and sat beside them. "... you were right. miles was able to save his dad and no universe clasped." she said. "great" hesper said standing "what what are you doing?!" she yelled fretting over hesper. "going to see miles i promised him" they said walking out the med bay. "but you just woke up, you need rest. " gwen start following hesper. "and i will when i see miles." they said typing in miles earth into the bracelet making a portal open. "also your a teenage, theirs a thing called rebellion, you could have seen miles but know you didnt. " hesper said before walking into the portal. after it closed gwen was left standing their alone. "their right you know. you could have went to see 'em but you didnt because you wanted to follow miguel but look what happen. they took your spot." hobie said standing beside gwen.
hesper exited the portal and looked around miles room before they were talked in a hug. "woah" they yelped as both of them fell to the ground. "two days you were out for two days!!" miles cried. "hey hey im here im here im alright" they said hugging him. as he cried into their shoulder. "come on" they said leading miles to stand. they wiped his tears away. "your too good looking to cry. " they said smiling softly. miles let out wet chuckles as hesper said that. "so your dads safe and the spots been defeated." hesper asked as they led miles to his bed and made him sit. "yes. i was able to talk to him and talk things out." miles said wiping away his tears. "also i told my parents that i was spider man" he said sniffling. "good on ya miles" hesper said smiling "now things can be easier and communication can be better, now they know" hesper said. "yeah but im still ground." miles said grumbling. "well no duh you told your mom what ever, and you gotta b in spanish your ma not letting that go" hesper chuckled out before sighing. "love your parents miles, love them alot and close." hesper said smiling softly resting their hand on his shoulder.
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hallofpain · 10 months
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Gilded Cage
i wish i was allowed to be angry i want to yell like my father hit things like my brothers stomp, slam doors, storm out of the house
of course i'm scolded when i do any of it its "rude" and im not allowed like women having emotions are forbidden like I'm a bad daughter when i dont have sunshine coming out of my ass
so i turn it all inside drink hot sauce, run barefoot, hold ice until my skin numbs anything to burn stronger than my rage anything to keep it in for just another day
i want to unhinge my jaw and scream i want to punch holes in the drywall i want to flip my dad off when he's being a jerk i want to chuck bottles at the ground and watch them break
i want to be anywhere but this guilded cage
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enigmaincrimson · 1 year
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One thing I can randomly say about Lady Aveline is that she'd totally get in a screaming match with a Saiyan while knowing perfectly well that she could easily send him flying with just a casual flick to the forehead any time she wants and is just wasting his time for giggles.
No matter how super super super the guy gets, it ain't changing the results.
It's like trying to climb an infinite staircase and she's literally just sitting at the top debating whether the stupidity of the situation is going to settle in eventually or if it would be more fun to just push you down the stairs and make the point that way instead.
Infinity goes both ways... That and yelling at the yelling guys is kinda fun.
Although it is kind of hard to point out that they were the one that started swinging first and the growing pile of shattered bodies was their own doing when they keep yelling like someone just stubbed their toes really hard?
Let's just say that the whole distorted timeline wasn't exactly a pleasant timeline... Especially when the forces that be were basically obsessed with throwing everything there was against an indestructible object that had no real interest in fighting.
Like how many broken and battered arms does it take before it sets in that the damage is your own doing and not the wall that you seem so keen on punching?
The whole matter of the "great interdimensional war" would be positively absurd if it weren't a tragedy as well.
All that pain, death, and suffering across all creation because one person noticed that something wasn't right... Not that there wasn't before, but that obsession to erase that voice of discordance in the grand design is a self perpetual cycle of madness.
It's like... You are standing in the middle of a field... Minding your own business, but someone decides that you are an eyesore, drops a nuke on your head and come out unaffected, but the field is an uninhabitable radioactive crater and somehow it's your fault it's that way... So they keep trying everything they can come up with... But like everything before it, it all fails, and they get all the more angry at you for the damage they caused.
You do get what I am trying to say, even if I got a bit sidetracked right?
Admittedly, having Mario suddenly show up and try to smash you over the head because the powers that be twisted things so that everything you do is somehow an act of utmost immorality and the bad guy to end all bad guys... Is an experience hard to explain.
I mean, if someone looked at her list of "crimes", they'd include everything from sniffing flowers, helping a little old lady cross the street, and just eating a sandwich im a public space.
As for why it is that ridiculous... Imagine if you somehow took over the multiverse, seated yourself as God of gods, and well... There's this one particular individual that despite everything, noticed what you did.
If that Discordant voice were to spread, it would ruin your grand designs, so you twist things in order to silence it.
I mean, it should be easy, just change her history and it'll be fine, right? Well... Not only did it not change a thing, but she definitely noticed the changes... Only getting louder still that something isn't right.
So the "God of gods" kept trying different things to get rid of her... Altering the moralities of those around her, getting rid of any form of hope they could possibly find, leave her with no place to shelter or run...
Yet that voice would not be silenced as their resolve grew... And the companions of the self-made god began to fall, one by one as the hunted became hunter and quickly snowballed into a force of absolute destruction that devoured everything that ended up in her path.
It wasn't long before the self proclaimed god would find themselves ruler of nothing as even the foundations of the multiverse had begin to crumble and lose all meaning... And they with it.
Ironic really, the theif that took all creation lost it all trying to keep what they had stolen, only to create the means of their final demise.
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romanstheory · 2 years
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Protector a Drew Mcintyre One Shot
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Warnings : Arguing, Smut, Language, Fighting, Oral Sex (male receiving)
Word Count : 715
18 +
I had broken things off with my boyfriend Humberto Carillo recently, the relationship quickly grew toxic with him wanting to control me and my every move. He would get jealous when I talked to the male superstars. I am lead on the style team, my entire job revolves around speaking to everyone. When someone needs attire fixed or altered last minute, they come to me. I have my own little room tucked off in a corner to do my work in and a fitting room area for the superstars to try things on and make sure they fit right.
I hear a knock at my door "Come in" I yell as I put the final stitches on some trunks for Sheamus. "Babe we just need to talk" I hear a familiar voice say. I look up, and of course it's my ex ready to try and jump back into my life. "Get out Humberto!" I yell. "Ouch, we're on a first name basis again?" He says coming in, leaving the door open behind him. "Yes we are, now get the fuck out of my room before I call security" I demand. Humberto slowly walks towards me "What are you hiding someone in here or something?" He says getting visibly angry.
"No! And even if I was, it's none of your damn business. Now leave!" I demand again this time louder. "What's going on in here?" I Drew Mcintyre say as he quickly enters the room. "Mind your fucking business man!" Humberto barks at Drew. "It doesn't sound like she wants ye in here" Drew says approaching Humberto. "I don't!" I yell. "So get out!" Drew demands. "Fuck you! Mind your business, she's MY girl" Humberto yells.
"Im not your girl you fucking crazy person!" I scream again. Drew lets out a long loud sigh before grabbing Humberto by the neck and tossing him away from me, like a rag doll. Humberto jumps up, swinging at Drew and missing wildly. Drew throw a punch, landing right on Humberto's jaw and pushes him out of the room, slamming the door in his face. "Thank you... So much. I'm not sure how to even repay you. I was scared shitless" I say with wide eyes. "Don't worry about it, but ye should really be more careful with dating these superstars. Some are just angry meat heads" Drew says with a chuckle.
"No, let me repay you" I say getting closer to Drew. He says nothing, just curiously lets me get close and closer. I rub his member through his trunks, waking it up. "You really don't have to Y/N" Drew continues "But if you want to I won't stop you". Drew sits on a nearby chair, and I pull his trunks down, his member bounces up nearly hitting me in the face. I smile and look at him, licking and teasing his tip with my lips and tongue. I was enjoying watching him squirm and throw his head back. I ease his length into my mouth, taking it all in.
He lets out a lustful sigh while holding up my hair out of my face. I bob my head back and fourth, sucking and playing with his balls as I go. I am driving him crazy and I know it. I take his member out of my mouth and lick his length back and fourth, causing him to breath out heavily. "Shit Y/N! I understand why he didn't want to leave you alone" Drew says lustfully. I insert his length back into my mouth, bobing and sucking faster this time. I stroke his swollen member as I continue to suck and move my tongue around.
I can feel his member start to pulsing, he's close. I keep my speed up, and he grabs my hair harder, driving me crazy. I had him right where I wanted him. "I'm close! Shit I'm close!" Drew struggles to get his words out. "Let me taste it" I say pausing what I was doing. I resume and Drew fills my mouth with his warm juices. I take a big gulp and swallow every drop of it, never breaking eye contact with him. "Shit, you're welcome. Remind me to be your prince in shining armor more" Drew says with a wink.
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Note
I dont know if i sent a request in befor ebut im sending in a sad one for me personally. Okay so the turtles have known reader for awhile, shes usually optimistic, chill person but one day something like so miniscule happens at the lair. Like mike slammed a door too loud or Leonardos simple change in tone and she ends up in like a bad episode, like pleads and shakes and crys cause of ptsd and cant be touched by certain people. Maybe case or vern? Cause men. Human men are awful in her eyes
I’m so sorry this has taken me so long to get to, I really hope you’re feeling better now or at least managing xox
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Leo
So Leo is reading, kind of to you, kind of to himself
just reading out loud basically 
he turns the page an suddenly “FUCK” 
he practically yells it, it’s very loud and sudden and caught you off guard
it was only a paper cut
you can’t help it, tears spring to your eyes
no one notices at first because they’re concerned with his exclamation 
but as your heaving breaths get louder and as you start to shake and sob they notice
Casey comes over and puts an arm around you to try and comfort you
you flinch and start crying harder, almost yelling “NO!” at him
Leo comes over and hesitantly kneels by you
he asks the others to leave you both for a moment and they all comply
“hey” he says in his softest voice “What’s up? Can you tell me what’s wrong?”
all you can get out is “I’m sorry” over and over again
“Is this ok?” he puts a hand on your back and tenderly rubs it with his thumb
you don’t seem to hate it so he leaves his hand there
“look” he begins “I don’t know what’s happening, but you don’t need to be sorry for anything. And whatever you’re going through, we’ll get through it together, like we always do”
you take your face out of your hands, eyes red and face flushed from crying so hard
he smiles meekly at you, trying to look like he knows what he’s doing
“is there anything I can do for you?”
“just stay”
so he sits on the floor with you and waits for this episode to be over
occasionally reminding you how brave you are and how much he loves you
for the rest of the day he makes sure to be extra attentive and loving towards you, making sure to see to your every need and check you’re ok
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Raph
you’re sat at the kitchen table while he cooks the whole gang some breakfast
everyone is just chatting and having a laugh
he flips over one of the pancakes and then punches a cupboard with a “it’s fucking burnt!”
it was so out of nowhere, as his moods often can be, that you don’t see your reaction coming
you nearly scream in emotional distress
but cover your mouth in time and a mewling cry is all that comes out
crying and shaking
Vern comes up to you and tries to give you a hug which you desperately try to squirm out of, clearly hating the contact
next thing you know Raph pull shim off and shoves him across the room
“Don’t touch ‘em!”
he gets down to your face level
“angel, what’s happening? Tell me what I can do, please”
he’s pleading
you can’t say anything, all you can do is just cry and shake
he puts a sheepish hand on your knee to try and gage your reaction, when you seem fine with it he keeps it there
“Baby, I’m sorry if I upset you” he says in that low, gentle tone he uses just for you “hey, come on”
he takes your hand and guides you out of the room to somewhere more quiet and peaceful
“how ‘bout we just stay here till you feel better?”
you nod
he starts mindlessly talking to fill the silence, he can’t stand hearing you cry
“....And I’ll be less angry, I won;t yell like that around you ever and I’’’ be calm. I’ll get fucking zen training from Leo if I have to and I’ll...” he just goes on and on about how he’s going to be better for you
once the episode seems to be coming to an end you guys talk about what happened and he understands why you reacted how you did
he has a private word with Vern about how if he ever touches you again when you’re like that, he’ll brake his legs
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Mikey
Mikey and you are in his room just hanging out
he’s trying on different clothes to get your opinion on them
but he shuts the wardrobe door way too loudly, slams it even
you don;t know what comes over you but the sudden loud noise just wrecks you
you start to cry and shake and can’t contain yourself
“no, no, no, no!” he starts
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to- was it the noise? I’m so sorry”
he knows you don’t always like being touched when you get like this so he’s hesitant to hold you even though he wants to
he sits on the bed next to you and asks if he can put his arm around you
you nod so he gingerly places one arm around you and squeezes your shoulder
“we’re gonna get through this” he whispers
“you’re so strong and kind and I love you so much. Please just be ok”
you know he means it sincerely 
you sit like that for a while, it’s weird not hearing Mikey talk even though you can tell his mind is going a mile a minute
he hums though, all your fave songs and lullabies he hums and rocks you slightly while you cry
when the episode is over he asks what he can do better next time so you tell him what helps you
he order in food and you guys just stay in his room, he gets you plenty of blankets and pillows and just soft things to surround yourself with
the next day you find Donnie installing something in his closet doors
you ask what he’s doing and he says “oh yeah, Mikey said they make a really loud noise when they shut so I’m just putting something on so they won’t slam closed”
you smile at that, he’s always looking out for you
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Donnie
you’re in the lab like always and Donnie is getting frustrated
he’s tried this sequence so many times before and it’s not working
finally, in a rage, he slams down a beaker and it shatters on the desk
you can’t take it, the energy in the room, the loud noise, the glass everywhere
he realises what he’s done the second you cover your face and start to cry
“I’m so, so sorry!” he whispers
“Oh god, I’m so sorry I wasn’t thinking!”
he sounds urgent but he’s almost inaudible 
“can- Can I touch you? Is that ok?”
you nod and he scoops you up in his arms
cradling you and whispering “it’s ok” over and over again as well as “I’m sorry”
your head is in the crook of his neck and he’s rubbing your back and stroking your hair
Casey passes by the room and see’s what’s happening, he walks over like he’s about to hug you but Donnie puts a stop the that right away and tells him to leave
“hey, honey, I’m so sorry. You didn’t cause that, it was just me being stupid. I’m so sorry, I’ll never do that again”
he gets down to eye level with you and smiles gingerly 
“we’re gonna get through this, ok?”
you nod again
once you’ve started to come out of the episode he apologises again and asks what he can do to protect your mental health better in future
the next day he buys you flowers as an “I’m sorry” gesture
he feels terrible to have brought that on in you and it shows
he shows you how if you hang flowers upside down they last forever so you do that
he calls it a gesture of his undying love for you
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How Bad is Sia’s “Music” really?
I watched it illegally (because there was no way I was paying for that bullshit) and found out. It’s not as bad as we thought... It’s worse.
TW for ableism, Sia, drugs, alcohol, just in general a terrible movie, meltdowns, blackface
Literally the first thing you hear while they’re showing the production companies is THOSE stereotypical noises. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ll know what I mean.
And yes, she does this for the WHOLE fucking movie
What was the need to show her in her underwear? Maddie Ziegler was 14 when this was made, so what was the need??? And why did Sia prolong the scene by having her hitting herself?
Less than a minute in and my reaction was already “what the fuck is this shit?”
So the opening number not only had stereotypical exaggerated facial expression, it has Maddie in BLACKFACE?!? And with culturally appropriated hair?!?
The exaggerated facial expressions are literally constant and I took photos during the film to show it, more later, but I’ll keep mentioning it
ITS LITERALLY THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME SHE IS ON SCREEN
Even her way of walking is fucking offensive, Jesus Christ
The vocalisations just had me cringing so hard, I cannot describe how awful it made me feel
Why do all the neighbours need to be paid off and help her when she goes for a walk? I don’t-
Yes, by about the five minute mark I was already seriously debating all my life decisions. It was that bad.
Kate Hudson really didn’t give a fuck that her grandma died
I will keep saying it but WHY are the facial expressions/vocalisations CONSTANT?!! Literally they do not stop at all. I work with a child who is actually similar to this in that he’s nonverbal and he makes similar noises/faces, but the way they’re in this movie is so over-exaggerated?!? And even the kid I work with doesn’t do it 24/7?!?
Sia, calling your characters Zu and Music doesn’t make them interesting in the slightest. They’re still painfully terrible and one dimensional
Literally ONE minute after being left alone with her autistic sister, Zu calls the mental health service asking if they could “theoretically” “pick up” her sister?!? Like she wants to get rid of her already?!?
“A magical little girl” - autism isn’t a magical power?!? And Music is a young woman, not a little girl?!? Why are you infantilising her?!?
Okay I’m not being funny but this choreography is NOT hard. ANYONE can do it, so claiming that you needed to hire a dancer to be Music because of the numbers is literally bullshit (and even so, there are so many amazing autistic actors and dancers?!?)
20 minutes in and I wanted to give up
So she had her first meltdown because her hair didn’t get braided immediately and that’s... certainly interesting??
The fact that Leslie Odom’s character says “I’m going to crush you now”?!?
AND THEN HE FUCKING PICKS HER UP AND FULL-BODILY PINS HER DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR
“I’m crushing her with my love” - oh fuck you, just fuck you
So Sia lied, the restraint scenes were NOT removed and there was no warning. She’s a fucking POS liar
I have no idea why he’s called Ebo or why he has such a cliche African accent?!? I might have missed out on why because I was busy trying not to bang my head into the table while I watched this film but just... yikes
“He (his brother) liked to be held” - YEAH, HELD. NOT FUCKING CRUSHED
“He is dead now” - IM NOT FUCKING SURPRISED IF YOU CRUSHED HIM LIKE THAT
The constant babying and patronizing of the autistic character is so exhausting to watch. I’m so tired
“Planning on sending her to the people pound but I guess I’ll keep her a little longer” - SHE WAS JOKING BUT THAT WAS NOT EVEN REMOTELY A FUNNY JOKE. NOT EVEN IN AN AWKWARD WAY
STOP THE FACES IM-
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^ YEAH, Sia, totally a fucking love letter to the autistic community here ^
So Zu finds this necklace she made as a kid that had a little dog on it, and she says to Music, “He had seizures too, just like you”... MELTDOWNS AND SEIZURES ARE NOT EVEN REMOTELY THE SAME FUCK THIS MOVIE-
It’s like Sia is trying to make the movie funny but it’s really not at all
Is Zu implying that Music is autistic because the mum was a junkie?!?
For real though, the dialogue in general is so fucking awful and cringey. Whoever wrote this should never be allowed to write again
Did she seriously leave her autistic sister alone to talk to who I’m presuming was her dealer or loan shark?!?
Also why is he - a white dude - wearing cornrows?!?
So who is the film really about? The autistic girl or the older sister saviour? I think we all know the answer to that one
WHY IS SHE WALKING AROUND WITH HER TEETH JUTTING OUT LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME
The musical numbers are literally so painful to watch. The overly bright colours, the flashing... my eyes were hurting and so was my brain
Autism representation aside for a second, the musical numbers/choreography are all fucking atrocious. Ditto for the costumes
LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE PINK OOMPA LOOMPA FRUIT THINGS?!? THEY LOOK LIKE THE PINK VERSIONS OF VIOLET BEAUREGARDE THE BLUEBERRY
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I wanted to cry by this point, this movie is far more awful than I thought
“I’m not saying she doesn’t want to change, I’m saying she can’t” - FUCK YOU. Why is it okay for him to assume what she can or can’t do
Can I just say that autistic people aren’t constantly in a coked up wonderland state?!! We don’t see the world as a wonderland fantasy world 24/7?!!
“She can hear you from two rooms away” / *shows her listening through two brick walls to a conversation* — Also, we don’t have super fucking sonic hearing?? WE CANT HEAR THROUGH FUCKING BRICK WALLS?!?
“She can understand everything you’re saying to her” - she’s autistic not fucking deaf
Less than 45 minutes in, there’s another meltdown in the park
“I’m not climbing on top of a small screaming white girl in public” - yeah please fucking don’t
So Zu fucking pins her down with her weight 🤦‍♀️
“She doesn’t know who she’s hitting” - IM SORRY WHAT
EBO LITERALLY SAID “TREAT HER LIKE A BEAR” when talking her through the prone restraint, I fucking CANNOT
“Tell her she’s safe” - NOT IF YOU FUCKING RESTRAIN HER LIKE THAT SHE IS NOT
The fact that she gets up, smiling and happy after a meltdown and immediately is excited to get a snow cone... I can honestly say that after a meltdown, I am in no way happy or smiling. I am often not very verbal and I’m withdrawn/not myself for at least several hours, usually the rest of the day. Fuck this film
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This film is literally just about Zu, and Music is there for a plot device to give her character development. That’s all she’s there for.
Love how Sia shoehorned Zu being suicidal in there. You know, just to try and make her more easy to sympathize with (it doesn’t work)
This film is literally just a 1 hour 47 minute Sia music video with ZERO plot
WHY WERE THEY WEARING PILLOW DIAPERS IN ONE NUMBER-
I really did not feel into the side plot with that guy who was fighting but it was still better than the actual movie so...
I am SO DONE with the NON STOP CONSTANT vocal shit. So tired.
LOJ’s only role in this film is to be the stereotypical wise black guy who assists a white woman’s story. There’s like hardly any other depth there
The Ebo/Zu romance is so fucking stupid and pointless and out of NOWHERE. I couldn’t even tell if they were into each other or not
I was already so bored of the musical numbers by this point. They added NOTHING to the plot but they pretended they did, and I was so over it. And it’s not because I’m not “creative enough” or anything to understand, I love musicals and I think it could have been cool if done right... but it wasn’t. They were a mess. It’s just bad.
Sia really tried to pretend her movie was deep but really it’s a shallow mess
So Zu is meeting rich drug clients and says to Music “try not to have one of your freak outs up there” and “if you could try to get it out now”... FUCKING YIKES. It’s not an on/off button, shut the fuck up
YEP THIS WAS THE SIA CAMEO FUCK THAT BITCH
The fact that she just calls “DRUG DEALER?!? DRUG DEALER IS THAT YOU”, fucking end this please-
I fucking hate this bitch I’m dead serious
“We’re gonna send them to Haiti cause there’s been an earthquake. All these buildings fell down, children’s bones were dislocated” - WHY WAS SHE SO CHEERFUL ABOUT IT
“Gonna buy a shit load of pain meds, gonna but them on my private plane” - FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU
“Pop stars without borders” - Sia thinks she’s so clever but I would give anything to punch her I swear-
ANOTHER MUSICAL NUMBER JUST STOP IM BEGGING YOU
There’s this awkward conversation/bit with Zu and her drug dealer/loanshark about his outfit that was clearly meant to be funny but was just flat and painful
Yep, Sia really showed Music eating chewing gum off the underside of a park bench. Of course.
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Look, the kid I work with does similar stuff by putting literally anything and everything in his mouth but like... why would you put that in your movie?
And there’s no indication before this that Music puts everything and anything in her mouth, she just randomly decides to get on her knees, under the bench and eat chewing gum, like she calculates that it’s there and gets it???
She has a THIRD meltdown after an allergic reaction to a bee sting and her sister just yells at her before realizing... I’m not here for this movie, I feel like I drifted off and was not really there
So Zu got angry because she left the drugs at the park but she’s not that upset that her sister had an allergic reaction???
Zu gets absolutely drunk because a) she lost Sia’s drugs and b) she’s stressed out by her autistic sister... wow, great message, Sia!
She really fucked off and left her sister alone to go clubbing/on a bender
The less said about the musical number here the better
Sia’s movie also checks the box of having stereotypical Asian parents, specifically stereotypical Asian dad being harsh/angry and hitting his wife!
ALSO HE PUSHED AND KILLED HIS SON WTF IS HAPPENING
Less than 3 minutes after the last, there’s a musical number that I think was about this side character going to heaven... another shitty Sia-esque number
The patterns during the number made my brain hurt.
Also there are so many autistic actors who can also dance, and yet Sia chose the neurotypical one because ✨ N E P O T I S M ✨
I just want to know how it was deemed necessary to show the fact the autistic character peed/wet herself? I mean... ??? It’s just so undignified and not at all necessary to the plot. Nothing happens after that, it just moves onto the next scene and it didn’t do anything
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“I have no one” - 1) YOUR FUCKING SISTER. 2) GEE I FUCKING WONDER WHY, couldn’t be that you’re a shitty human being?!?
There’s a scene where Music is walking and she does ALL the stereotypical behaviours at once... just YIKES
Zu somehow stopped another meltdown just by grabbing Music by the shoulders and sitting her down???
Aaand yep. Another shitty musical number
Zu really goes to put her sister in a fucking facility and claims it’ll be “better for her” - BULLSHIT. Better for Zu, maybe, not Music.
Ah yes - the girl who the characters have said has problems with routines being changed/change in general... you’re now going to fuck up her routine by dumping her in a facility. Perfect Plan.
The nonverbal autistic girl suddenly speaking to say “don’t go” - you can just predict it from the off, can’t you?
Love that as soon as Music starts talking, Zu is like “fuck it, I’ll keep her!”
Zu really went and crashed Ebo’s brothers wedding... in a fucking bralette... YIKES
“I almost gave Music away” - SHE IS NOT A DOG YOU DONT GIVE PEOPLE AWAY
“We should sing a song” - PLEASE DO FUCKING NOT
Also that kiss/romance montage between Zu and Ebo was the CRINGIEST fucking shit ever
This movie seems to be implying that Music has locked in syndrome or something, like she’s locked in her own head or whatever it’s called, and I just... *sigh*
Oh and now Music magically fucking sings in a room FULL of strangers... this is literally embarrassing, please let this end
I mean it, this movie was fucking painful to watch on ever level
She got a service dog puppy which... okay?
Oh look, it’s the only decent song on the soundtrack but with an absolutely shitty over-stimulatory music video with the credits!
I can only name 5 characters in this film. Maybe 7 at a push, but even then I would be guessing
AND YEP SHE THANKED AUTISM SPEAKS OVER THE CREDITS. FUCK YOU SIA 🖕🏻
Let me reiterate: this is a movie about a neurotypical former drug addict whose character development comes from the autistic character, from having an autistic sister she has to take care of. I’m so tired.
We are NOT plot devices or tools for character development. Not once does anyone in this film treat Music like a human being - she’s treated as a burden, a problem, and then like a pet that they decide to keep. Not once is the film focused on how she is feeling - it’s always about Zu or Ebo. The performance itself was so over exaggerated and it made me want to cry when I watched it because this is how the world sees us, and this movie will make it ten times worse. It’s stuff like this that made me think “I don’t want to be labelled as autistic because people will think I’m a certain way”, that made me wait so long before going to the GP to get a referral.
As I said, poor autistic representation aside, the movie is just so appallingly bad. It truly is one of the worst films I’ve watched. If you’re going to watch it, please don’t - or, if you want to because you want to see how bad it is/to raise awareness/critical posts, at least do it illegally. Do not give Sia your money.
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new-to-this123 · 3 years
Text
Monty’s Revenge
As per requested
May I please request a monty x girlfriend reader? where she was raped too and he does everything he can for her and ruins Bryce..  lots of fluff and smut
(I know the request asks for smut, but the direction I took this story, smut didn't fit. When you read it, you'll see why but I hope you'll still like it though) 
 Monty X reader 
warning: swearing, drug use, alcohol, mention and details of rape, fighting 
word count: 2061
NOTES: I haven't posted in a LOOOOONG time. Now that I'm done with school I definitely have more time so I'm hoping to get all my requests caught up!  I hope you guys like this one. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Y/N journal entry
August 27th 2016
Tonight Kat is hosting a party at  her neighbors house. Kats parties are always a good time. Maybe I can get Monty to notice me tonight, who knows, I know people say he's troubled but there's something about him that i just love. 
Anyways i guess i'll let you know how this party goes.  
August 28th 2016
Well lets just say that yesterday didn't go as planned but it was a goodnight! 
I don't remember anything from the party. The only thing I remember is talking with Monty, and Bryce outside of Hannah's house. I was very drunk and so was monty. I woke up in the clubhouse with monty. We both don't know if we slept together, but I think we may have. The signs were all there, I have a few hickeys on my neck, and there's definitely cum in my panties. 
Monty and I hung out all afternoon, then he drove me home. 
Monty kissed me before I left and said he can't wait to see me at school tomorrow! 
I'm so happy! 
Present day (March 2018) 
Y/N was sitting at the lunch table with her boyfriend Monty when Jessica, Clay and Justin show up and sit. 
“Hey Y/N, can I talk to you for a minute?” Jessica asked
“Why?” Y/N asked, since Jessica never really talked to her. 
“It has to do with the trials” Justin  added. 
“Look Y/N has nothing to do with that so leave her out of it” Monty said defensively placing his hand on Y/N’s lap. 
Jessica looks over at Clay and Justin, and takes a deep breath. 
“Y/N there's something i need to show you and it's not easy.” 
“ok ……. So show me” 
“Not here Y/N” Clay adds
“Why not? Anything you have to tell me you can tell Monty!” 
Jessica slides over two pictures.
Y/N looks down at the first one and ,in the corner, she sees Monty passed out on a chair, and in the middle is a naked and passed out Y/N. 
In the second one, Bryce is taking a selfie of him raping Y/N. 
“Where the fuck did you get these?” Monty yelled, grabbing both pictures.
“When were they taken? How did you get these?” Y/N asked with tears filling her eyes.
“There's a box full of them. But i can't tell you when it was.” jessica replied
“We were hoping you would be able to tell us when this happened.” Justin added
“I mean, i.. I don't know, i can't think of a time that i was left alone with Bryce in the clubhouse, Monty has never let that happen.” Y/N replies. 
Jessica, Justin and Clay look over at Monty. 
“Don't fucking look at me! I didn't let this happen!! Im gonna fucking kill him.” Monty said aggressively.
“NO! Let me go talk to Bryce.. ALONE” Y/N said looking at all four of her peers. 
“I want answers and he's the only one who can give them to me.”  
“No way Y/N!” Monty said
“Are you insane?” Clay added
Y/Ns Texts
Y/N: Hey Bryce, wanna grab a coffee at monets after school? 
Bryce: why? Sick and tired of De La Cruz? Never thought you’d last this long anyways. 
Y/N: urg meet me there at 3
“There meeting with him after school, if you don't want me alone you guys can sit at the back of monet's” Y/N said standing up, grabbing the pictures from Monty and leaving. 
“You guys don't come! He’ll know somethings up” Monty said, pointing at Jessica, Justin and Clay.
“Protect her Montgomery” Justin said, looking him right in the eyes. 
Monty walked after Y/N. 
Y/N walked into Monets and saw Monty in the back with Taylor and Kenneth.
“Urg of course he'd bring his lackeys” Y/N thought to herself as she looked at Taylor and Kenneth.
Y/N orders herself a coffee and sits at a table in the middle of Monets, and waits for Bryce. 
At 3;15pm Bryce walked in, went up to the counter, ordered himself a coffee and joined Y/N. 
“Sorry I'm late, got caught up with some of the guys.” Bryce said as he sat down.  
“All cool” Y/N replied
“So what did you wanna talk about huh? Monty being an ass?” Bryce asked with a big smile on his face. 
“No i wanted to ask you when this happened” Y/N said as she slipped him the selfie of Bryce raping her. 
The smile on Bryce's face quickly changed to anger. He leaned forward on  the table and whispered “where the fuk did you get these?” 
“When did it happen Bryce?” 
“When do you think?” Bryce scoffed. 
“ I don't know, that's why i'm asking you?”
“Just know that you wanted it. You were moaning my name the whole time.” 
Y/N swallowed the lump in her throat and asked Bryce again 
“When did it happen?” 
“When did you wake up in the clubhouse with Monty alone?” Bryce replied with a smirk on his face. 
Y/N’s jaw dropped, and suddenly memories of that night flashed through her head.
Hannah’s Party
Y/N is standing outside, holding a beer, sharing a joint with Monty. 
“You know i was telling Bryce on our way here that i hoped you were here tonight.” Monty said as he passed Y/N the joint.  
“I was hoping you'd be here too Monty” Y/N replied, taking a hit off the joint and coughing. 
“Do we have a newbie here” Bryce said as he walked up and wrapped his arm around Y/N.
“ Yes it is” monty replied laughing. 
Y/N walked back into the party and spent all night drinking and smoking with Monty.
Near the end of the night Y/N and Monty were clearly very drunk and high. Y/N was using monty as her support and monty was using Y/N as his. 
Bryce walked up to them “lets go kids! let's get you home” he said as he placed himself between the both Y/N and Monty and wrapped his arms around both of their shoulders.
Bryce walked them to his car, he helped Y/N into the front seat and Monty in the back.
As he was getting ready to drive off bryce said “now now don't fucking puke in my car” 
“No promises” monty drunkenly said from the back, laying down on the back seat, closing his eyes and passing out. 
Bryce placed his hand on Y/N laps. Even in her highly intoxicated state she thought his hand was a little too high up on her thigh and tried to move it. 
“Shhh baby it's ok” Bryce said as he smiled and squeezed her thigh a little harder. 
They got to the clubhouse and Bryce carried Y/N in and laid her on the couch. 
“Monty” was all Y/N could mumble in her intoxicated state. 
“He's in the car babygirl. You're ok. I got you.” Bryce said as he started pulling Y/N shirt off. 
“No” Y/N tried to mumble and squirm away but Bryce overpowered her and stripped her completely naked. 
“I know you want this. Everyone does” Bryce said as he started raping Y/N. 
“The night of Hannah's party. You were supposed to drive us home. Instead you went to the club house and staged the whole thing” Y/N replied, tears building up in her eyes. 
“Naw! Monty walked in on his own and sat in the chair after I got you undressed. And in casual Monty style he was too drunk to notice anything so when i finished i woke him up and told him he fucked you a while ago but i had to leave because it was late and he told me to leave you guys there. He took the credit and look,here you are two years later, still happily together. So why are you bitching, we all got what we wanted in the end” 
Y/N looked at Bryce in disbelief. 
“We all got what we wanted?” Y/N asked a tear falling down her cheek. 
“You got the guy, he got the girl and I got an easy lay” Bryce smiled as he stood up and left. 
“YOU RAPED ME” Y/N yelled as Bryce left Monets and Monty ran to you. 
 “Baby what did he say?” Monty asked wiping away your tears. 
“You walked in when he raped me and you did NOTHING!!!!!!!” Y/N yelled as she pushed monty away running out of Monets. 
“Y/N!! BAAAABE! HOLD UP!” monty yelled running after Y/N. 
“NO! FUCK OFF MONTY!” Y/N screamed tears pouring down her cheeks. 
Monty walked away, angry and heartbroken at what his girlfriend told him. He got to Monets,where his car was parked, and got in and drove towards Bryces house. 
He got to Bryces and went straight for the guest house.
“YOU FUCKING SON OF BITCH” Monty yelled punching Bryce in the face. 
“What the fuck De La Cruz??” Bryce asked, pissed off.
“You raped my girlfriend!” monty replied. 
“She wasn't your girlfriend then and she wanted it! She was moaning my name the whole time” Bryce shot back pushing Monty.
 “NO!!! YOU RAPED Y/N!!!!” Monty yelled again, grabbing Bryce by the collar of his shirt.
“Your bitch wanted it! And if it weren't for that night you two wouldn't be together! So shut the fuck up before i beat you like you dad does” Bryce spat at Monty. 
In that moment Monty’s mind went black with anger and he jumped on Bryce and started punching him over and over again. Kenneth, Taylor, Marcus and Luke all tried to pull Monty off Bryce to no avail. 
“Monty! Stop!” Scott said as he pulled Monty up from the back of his shirt. 
“FUCK OFF” Monty yelled pushing scott, who stood his ground and grabbed monty wrists. 
“CALM THE FUCK DOWN” scott yelled at Monty, as he pulled him out the guest house, to his car. 
“He fucking raped Y/N” Monty told Scott.
“And you fucked him up. Youll be lucky if he doesnt fucking die dude” scott replied. 
“Good, he deserves it!” Monty said, getting into the passenger seat of his jeep. 
“Y/N’s parents are gone for the week, that's where we're going” Scott said as he got into the driver side and drove off. 
“Y/N open up it's me Scott” Scott said knocking and Y/N’s door. 
“Oh my god you are an impatient neighbor!” Y/N said as she opened the door. 
“OH MY GOD MONTY!!!” she yelled as she saw Monty's black eye and bloody nose. 
“You should see Bryce, he looks worse” Monty smiled. 
“Ya pretty sure he almost killed him” Scott replied. 
“You went after your best friend?” Y/N asked, leading Monty to the bathroom. 
“Of course I went after him! He hurt the love of my life, and lied to me about it. He’s lucky I didn't kill him.” Monty smiled. 
Y/N wiped the blood of his face and hands. 
“I love you Montgomery” Y/N said, bandaging his hands.
“I love you too Y/N” Monty replied kissing the top of Y/Ns head. 
“Hey you two im gonna head home i'll see you tomorrow.” Scott said, leaving and heading next door. 
“Let's go cuddle and watch a movie” Monty said wrapping his arm around Y/N’s shoulders 
Y/N and Monty ordered a pizza and cuddled for three movies in her bed. 
“Y/N…” Monty said moving some hair out of Y/N’s eyes. 
“Ya?” Y/N replied butterflies in her stomach. 
“I really love you.” Monty said looking into Y/N’s eyes.
“Monty, i can't have sex, i don't know when ill be able to but I'm not comfortable with it right now. After finding out about Bryce, I don't know, i feel different” Y/N said tears building up in her. 
“ Hey baby girl, it's ok, I'm here for you no matter what and it doesn't matter how long it takes, I'll wait for you to be ready. I love you and I'm not going anywhere.” Monty replied wiping away Y/Ns tears and bringing her into a hug. 
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taehyungsgrowl · 3 years
Note
What about Boxer!Duncan getting seriously hurt?? And Reader being worried about him while he's in the hospital?
oooh... something angsty for my baby :(
also i apologize that im not writing full length one shots/blurbs for the boxer concepts right now! gonna try to finish the tribes of eden before i take on something else!
buuuuut i do hope youre all enjoying my small ramblings (screaming) about them in the mean time!
Every time Duncan stepped foot in the ring, whether it was just for practice or another million dollar fight - Y/N's heart pounded with cortisol.
She knew it was part of the gig - fiancee of light-weight champion Duncan Shepherd - he always ran the risk of serious injury.
He'd been lucky enough to not been harmed in a pressing manner, but tonight, when the back of his head hit the ground at full speed, Y/N, and the rest of the stadium fell silent for a moment that felt like an entirety.
Her whole world stopped as she watched from the stands. The referee yelled for a medic when he realized Duncan was unresponsive.
Y/N heard her friends voice, a thousand miles away even though she was standing right next to her. Muffled. Far. Y/N wasn't there. She was frozen and couldn't tear her eyes away from the medics who were lifting Duncan on to the stretcher.
She barely registered as security shuffled her through the crowd - hundreds of patrons standing in respect as they watched her being taken back, following on the medical teams heels.
Once she was close enough to actually see Duncan, she snapped out of her shocked state. He had dried blood around his nose and his purpled eyes were drooping close. His chest barely moved with his slowed respiration.
"Dunc!" she tried to push past the first responder who had a stethoscope to his chest. Hot tears quietly fell down her face. "Dunc, please, baby," her voice broke. "Baby, I'm right here," she grabbed on to his hand with all her strength.
"Miss," the paramedics gave her an apologetic look, but they needed her to move to be able to work, "Please, step back."
Y/N was about to argue back, but right as she opened her mouth, one of Duncan's colleagues had his hand on her shoulder and led her back to give them room to work. She'd seen him around the gym plenty of times working out and practicing with Duncan. Jim, she thought his name was.
"Come here, let's give them some room, yeah?" he spoke softly, taking her to the black leather couch before he handed her a bottled water. She was pretty sure he kept trying to talk to her - probably trying to calm her down, but again, his voice sounded a million miles away.
She kept focused on Duncan. Y/N couldn't imagine what she would do if something happened to him - she couldn't bring herself to think it.
Anger and frustration boiled within her, "What's happening! Is he going to be okay?" she stood up from the couch, too on edge to be still.
"We're taking him to the hospital. We need to do a scan - he hit his head pretty hard," one of them explained.
The entire ambulance ride to the hospital, Y/N held on to his hand. She quietly spoke to her unconscious fiance, bargaining with him to just... wake up.
"Please, Duncan," she whispered. The paramedics pretended they couldn't hear her so she could process what she was feeling in peace, "I need you here with me, baby." She kissed his forehead, tears falling on to his chest.
"I love you so much, baby...."
Duncan was rushed into the emergency room and taken away from Y/N.
She paced the empty waiting room all night waiting for an update. She wanted to wrap her arms around him, kiss every bruise on his skin, and tell him again how much she loved him.
After about two hours in the waiting room, more people from the fight started to show up. His manager, his friend from the gym, his coach - everyone coming in to show not only Duncan their support, but Y/N as well.
Everyone gave her hugs and told her if there were anything she needed to just let them know.
The only thing she knew she needed was Duncan.
"Y/N?" she looked up at the sound of her name. She looked up at the doorway to see Duncan's opponent, the one who knocked him down - the one who hurt him, standing there.
He had changed from his boxing uniform to a pair of sweats and clean thsirt.
"I can't tell you how sorry I am," he bowed his head. They all knew it wasn't intentional. It was all part of the sport.
Rationally, Y/N knew - she and Duncan had had conversations about this very thing countless times. There had been instances where Duncan had injured other boxers pretty badly.
It was a sport.
A very dangerous and stupid sport.
Knowing all that didn't stop the angry tears that followed. And it didn't stop her from going up to him and sobbing. Her fists balled up and she punched at his chest - getting out her frustrations against his toned chest.
"How could you!" she cried.
He took her advances like a champ - understanding she was upset. He let her hit at his chest a couple of times before Jim stood up from his seat and pulled her away.
"Y/N," Jim spoke a little louder than he had earlier. "Duncan is going to be okay. You know it's not his fault. He's here for Duncan too," he led her back to her seat.
"Sorry," she mumbled to everyone in the room, "Just... so scared,"
As the night went on, people slowly started to trickle out of the hospital, leaving her with condolences.
"Miss Y/L/N?" a doctor finally called her over. She got on her feet immediately. She walked up to the doctor, holding her breath as she waited for what he was going to say next.
"The good news is Mr. Shepherd is awake," she released the breath she held in, "He is going to be fine..." the doctor placed his hand on her arm, sorrow in his eyes, "He's experiencing what we believe is short term," he paused watching as she processed his words, "amnesia."
"Mr. Shepherd appears to have lost some of his memory,"
What did that even mean?
Her heart started to accelerate again, "What does that mean? What doesn't he remember? Can I see him? Will his memory come back? Do-" her million questions were stopped.
"There are still some tests we need to do before we can determine any of that," he sighed.
"Would you like to see him?"
She silently cursed the doctor for the stupid question - of course she wanted to see him.
She needed to.
--
okay I'm gonna stop there before i go down the rest of this rabbit hole bc this was supposed to be like a paragraph vkdfjv vjfs
ill answer some other boxer dunc stuff that isn't as angsty fjksdf I'm sorry vfjsv
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