#i know spencer was in the last one too but i love him so therefore you can not stop me from putting him twice | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fortheloveofwonderland · 2 years

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hi! congrats on your milestone, i absolutely love your works! <3

can i please request a spencer reid x fem!reader (angst w/ fluff ending) blurb with these emojis:

😡+🔫+🤕

Thank you so much love! <3

Send me emojis for my milestone celebration and I’ll write you a blurb!

😡 enemies to lovers

🔫 hostage situation

🤕 tending to each other’s wounds

CW - hostage stuff, guns, mention of blood, swearing. Angst with a happy ending.

WC - 2.5k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Captured

Not my gif

Working for the BAU had its pros and it had its cons.

Getting to help aid and arrest some of the sickest minds in the country, that was a huge pro.

Being able to work alongside the likes of bureau legends Emily Prentiss, David Rossi, and Tara Lewis were also huge pros.

Friendly banter with Luke Alvez and Matt Simmons, long talks with Penelope and JJ, all pros in your book.

But the thing that had most excited you about joining the BAU had been getting to work with Doctor Spencer Reid. You’d read all his papers, even been to a few of his lectures.

You’d been buzzing about the idea of working with the genius Doctor. Until you met him and discovered he was a huge asshole.

You didn’t get it, everyone on the team spoke so highly of him and they all loved him. But the Spencer you’d gotten to know over the past year was standoffish and rude.

He wasn’t sweet and kind like JJ described him. He wasn’t funny in a dorky way like Garcia had told you. He wasn’t interesting like Luke described.

He was just an ass.

From the moment you’d joined the team he’d had some kind of chip on his shoulder about you. Maybe he’d seen you as competition. You were younger than him and held two PhD’s of your own and had an IQ that rivalled his.

You’d thought he’d be pleased to have another brilliant mind on the team but it would seem he thought there was already enough.

He dismissed you as though you were some stupid kid on work experience and not the incredibly intelligent Doctor that you were.

And that was another thing, he never referred to you by your honorific. As far as he was concerned himself and Tara were the only ones worthy of the title and he always simply called you agent.

And over the last year you gave up caring if he liked you or not. But you would have appreciated it if he at least showed you some respect.

Clearly that was never going to happen. Doctor Spencer Reid obviously saw himself as god's gift to the BAU and if anyone threatened that he treated them with disdain.

You might have felt smug to find yourself in the position you did now when it was all his fault. His miscalculation had led you into the situation you found yourself in.

You might have been smug. If your life wasn’t on the line.

“God fucking damnit.” You groaned loudly, once again tugging against the cable ties that held your wrists together.

They were the same kind of heavy duty type used by some law enforcement officials in lieu of handcuffs so you knew there was no getting out of them.

Didn’t stop you trying.

“Just say what you’re really thinking, Y/L/N.” Spencer sighed from his chair opposite you.

“Fine, I will.” You spat, not trying to hide the annoyance in your voice. “This is all your fault.”

“I thought it might be.” He scoffed.

“How could it not be?” You tugged on your restraints again.

“They aren’t going to come free.” Spencer rolled his eyes.

“At least I’m trying. What the fuck are you bringing to the table? You got us into this mess in the first place.”

Spencer wanted to argue with you but he knew you were right, not that he’d ever admit it.

The two of you had been sent to the unsubs house while Luke, Matt, Emily and Tara went to his place of work.

Spencer had deduced the man wouldn’t be home, therefore Emily had only sent the two of you to check it out. Had they not listened to Spencer, JJ and Rossi might have been with you too and made what had happened far less likely.

Spencer had cleared the ground floor while you cleared the upstairs. He failed to note the back door was unlocked though and when he turned his back on the door, the unsub snuck in and hit him over the head.

When you’d come downstairs you’d found Spencer unconscious on the kitchen floor and a gun pointing at your face.

So for all intents and purposes, there was no one to blame for this but Spencer Reid.

“Everyone’s allowed to make a mistake every once in a while.

“Surely not Doctor Perfect?” You faux gasped causing him to roll his eyes again.

“I have never once in my life claimed to be perfect.”

“It’s implied every time you speak.”

“Really, Y/L/N, now is the time you want to pick a fight? Right now in the basement of some lunatic holding us hostage?” Spencer spat.

“Got to pass the time somehow.” You shrugged pulling at the cable ties with more force. “Emily knows we’re here, they’ll find us eventually.”

“Once we’re dead.” Spencer grumbled.

“That’s just the attitude we need, Reid.”

Having no luck with your bound arms, you started trying to tug your legs free of where they were tied to the chair.

Spencer watched you, unimpressed.

“God of all the people I could be trapped with.” You mumbled but purposely loud enough for Spencer to hear you.

“You’re not exactly my first choice of hostage company.” He yet again rolled his eyes.

“Oh I am well aware.” You pulled your left leg. Nothing. Pulled the right, nothing. “You’ve been nothing but an ass to me since I joined the team.”

“That’s completely untrue.”

“So you don’t even realise you’re doing it? That makes you an ignorant ass.”

“Maybe if you weren’t such a bit-“ Spencer was cut off when the door leading down to the basement was thrown open, slamming against the wall with the force.

Heavy footsteps came down the stairs and the two of you held your breaths as your kidnapper came into view.

“Hello Agents.” He smiled menacingly at the two of you.

“It’s Doctor.” You and Spencer replied in unison.

This made the man laugh.

“Oh so you can agree on something?” He chuckled. Clearly he’d heard you arguing. “See if you can agree on this then, I have a choice for you to make. It’s a very simple one.”

“What’s that then?” You frowned, refusing to let him see your fear.

“Only one of you is going to die. And you’re going to decide which one of you I kill.”

“What? You’re insane.” You spat which garnered you a hard blow to the temple from the man’s fist.

“Hey, leave her alone!” Spencer growled and the man responded by delivering a similar blow to him.

You both groaned in pain.

“It’s your choice. One of you will walk free.” He told you sternly.

“Fuck you. If you want to kill one of us, you choose.” You dared sass him and you immediately regretted it.

He lifted his leg and his boot collided with your chest, sending the chair you were strapped to falling to the floor.

You groaned again as he hovered over you, kicking you in the ribs once and then twice.

“Fuck you!” You yelled and this time he punched you square in the jaw, causing you to whimper.

“Leave her alone!” Spencer suddenly piped up. “Pick on someone your own size.”

The man halted his movements and spud around to face Spencer.

You blinked a few times to focus your eyes and you could see Spencer desperately trying to hide his own fear.

“Kill me.” Spencer spoke again. “Let her go.”

“No.” You whined, pathetically. “No, kill me.”

The man looked between the two of you with a curious expression on his face.

“How sweet.” He smirked. “But I need you both to be in agreement.

“The team needs you.” You choked in pain. “The world needs you, Reid. You can’t die.”

“No, they need you. You’re too…you’re too amazing to die this way.”

His words send a jolt straight to your heart. What did he mean? He’d never said anything like that to you before.

“Tick tock, Agents.” The man spoke with impatience. “Or you both die.”

“Kill me!” Spencer raised your voice. “I will not watch another person I care about die. Kill me!”

Another person I care about? What was he talking about? Spencer didn’t care about you.

Maybe the blow to the head had you confused.

“Do you agree?” The man turned to you, leering at you.

Your head started to throb. A combination of the hit you’d sustained and Spencer’s words were causing a dull ache to spread through your head.

“I-I…no.” You shook your head, feeling tears start to well in your eyes. “No, you can’t kill him.”

“Y/N.” Spencer’s voice was stern and serious. He never called you by your first name. “It’s fine. Just tell him to kill me.”

Spencer’s expression told you not to argue with him. As much as you wanted to, as much as you wanted to fight it, his face told you not to.

A few tears escaped your eyes as you looked at him. He gave you an encouraging smile and a small nod.

“F-fine.” You sniffed. “Fine.”

“Good girl.” The man snarled menacingly at you, stepping closer to Spencer.

He unholstered his gun and placed the barrel to Spencer’s temple.

“S-Spencer,” you sobbed from your place on the floor.

“It’s ok.” He smiled at you. “It’s really ok.”

The man thrust the gun against Spencer’s head and you watched Spencer’s jaw clench in fear.

“Any last words, Agent?”

“It’s Doctor.” Spencer growled, his eyes trained on you. “Don’t blame yourself, Y/N. This was all my fault. I got us into this situation, it’s only fair I’m the one that doesn’t make it out of here. But you should know…fuck…I-I…I love you.”

Your weeping eyes widened as you stared at him.

The man holding the gun chuckled dryly.

“Isn’t that adorable.” He cackled. “Too bad you’re going to have to watch him die.”

“Think again, asshole.”

A voice came from behind Spencer and the man turned to see a gun trained at his face.

“Put the gun down or I’ll shoot.” Luke growled, eyes full of pure anger.

“Not gonna happen.” The man’s finger curled around the trigger and Spencer winced, readying himself for the blow.

You screwed your eyes shut just as the sound of gunfire filled the room.

You screamed, sobbing against the cold ground.

“Spencer!” You cried as a strong set of hands found your arms and pulled you and the chair up right.

“It’s ok.” Luke’s voice wafted to your ears. “Y/N, it’s ok.”

You opened your eyes and Luke was smiling softly at you as he cut the cable ties from your wrists.

As soon as your arms were free you shoved him aside.

A man was dead in a pool of blood on the floor.

A large set of hazel eyes rimmed with tears stared back at you.

“Not gonna get rid of me so easily, Y/L/N.” Spencer smiled at you as Matt worked on cutting Spencer free of his bindings.

Luke crouched down to cut your ankle ties and the second you were both free you jumped up and ran to each other, instinctively falling into each other’s arms.

For a few moments you held each other, crying into the others shoulders. And then you suddenly remembered your disdain for one another and almost simultaneously you pulled away.

“Uh…thanks for saving my life, Reid.” You shrugged, hugging your arms around yourself.

“You’re welcome.” He stepped back, chewing on his lip.

“You guys need checking out, there are paramedics upstairs.” Luke placed his hand on your lower back and guided you towards the stairs.

You glanced back at Spencer over your shoulder and he was already looking at you.

You felt yourself blush as you turned away and let Luke lead you upstairs and out of the house.

***

Spencer was sheepish in his movements as he approached you.

You sat on the back of the ambulance, legs dangling over the side while you tried to hold an ice pack to your head and ribs at the same time.

His smile was tentative as he came closer to you.

“Let me help.”

“I’m fine.” You shook your head.

“Stop being so stubborn for two minutes, please?” He chuckled lightly and took one of the ice packs from your hand.

He sat next to you and cautiously raised the side of your shirt to reveal the deep purple bruising on your ribs.

“This looks painful.” He placed the pack to your skin, making you hiss.

“It’s fine. I’m fine.” You tried to ignore the goosebumps that flared on your skin, putting them down to the coldness from the ice pack.

It certainly couldn’t have been Spencer’s touch having that effect on you.

“Your lip is bleeding.” He whispered.

“Again, I’m fine.” You ran your tongue along your lip tasting the metallic blood from where the man had split it.

“I’m sorry I’ve not been exactly welcoming.” Spencer’s words surprised you. “I don’t know why I’ve been such an ass other than because…I like you.”

His cheeks instantly turned a deep shade of red.

You frowned at him, your head was still hazy.

“No you don’t.” You rolled your eyes.

His fingertips ghosted over your rib cage and it made you hiss, but it was nothing to do with the pain.

“You’re right, I don’t.” He smiled through his embarrassment. “I already told you, I love you.”

“Spencer,” you shook your head. “Stop it. We were in a crazy situation and you said what you said because…because…”

“Because it’s how I feel.” He shrugged. “I thought I was going to die and I wanted you to know how I felt. I’ve been pushing you away this whole time because being in love has never worked out so well for me in the past. I didn’t want to love you. But…fuck, I do.”

Tears suddenly welled in your eyes as you stared at him.

You didn’t want to believe him. But you heard the sincerity in his voice and saw the genuine look in his eyes and you knew he meant it.

“You…you love me?”

“I most certainly do.” He leant in closer to you, his breath fanning across your face.

He smelt like coffee and dust from the basement.

And he looked all kinds of delectable at that moment.

“What are you doing?” You whispered as his free hand cupped your cheek.

“Well I was thinking about kissing you, but if that’s inappropriate we can just pretend I was wiping dust off your face.” He chuckled nervously.

“I think it would be highly inappropriate.” You told him and Spencer sighed with a small nod.

“You’re right. I’m sorry I don’t know what I was-“

“I think it would be highly inappropriate,” you repeated. “If you didn’t kiss me.”

Spencer breathed a sigh of relief and laughed softly.

“Thank god.” And with that he pressed his lips against yours and you felt electricity coursing through your veins.

It had taken getting held hostage and beaten up for Spencer to finally confess his feelings for you. But you wouldn’t change it for the world.

It would surely make a great story to tell one day, the story of how Spencer Reid saved your life and captured your heart.

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction

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scuttling · 2 years

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Chicken Soup for the Soul - Ch 1

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairings: Spencer Reid/Gender Neutral Reader Word Count: 1206 Tags: SFW, A lot of food talk, TW grief, TW depression, TW medication talk, Episode related: 8x13 Magnum Opus (and therefore the aftermath of Maeve) Summary: My dark days made me strong. Or maybe I already was strong, and they made me prove it. — Emery Lord A/N: For @lcvingprentjss's challenge - the end of cj’s chapter 🤍

Spencer isn’t sure of the day. He’s not sure of the hour; it’s morning, clearly, as the sun streams in through the gap in the curtains he’s done his best to close, but aside from that he’s got nothing.

His back is against the door again. He hears the click of a set of heels that’s become very familiar over the last few days—JJ—and then another set that come to a stop, followed by the soft placement of what he assumes is another of Garcia’s gift baskets.

(He opened his door once, yesterday, just to look at them. Just to feel a little worse than he already does. They care so much, love him so much, and he can’t even muster up more than a knock on the door in response to their kindness. Just another way in which he feels completely helpless.)

For as physically still and silent as he’s been since he got home, he feels absolutely out of control; he thinks of reaching out to grab books, to pick up a takeout menu, to text Garcia and thank her for the baskets, for the nuts and seeds, the loose leaf tea, the popcorn and olives and shortbread cookies and gourmet cheese, but he just can’t. His arms and legs won’t move. His heart’s not in it, barely thumping away in his chest as his mind whirs to all but a complete stop for hours, days on end.

It gets dark, and then light again, a few times, before the doorbell rings.

“Spencer Reid?” an unfamiliar voice calls softly. Then his visitor raps on the door with their knuckles. “Spencer Reid? I’ve been told that you’re home but you won’t answer the door; I’ve also been told that under no circumstances should I leave until you’ve opened the door. You wouldn’t make me stand out here all day, would you?”

Spencer sighs and lets his head fall back against the wooden door with a thunk. His hair feels greasy where it hangs around his face, his muscles stiff and uncomfortable from sitting there for so long without moving.

“Did Garcia put you up to this?” he rasps, voice rough from disuse. He’s been alone with his thoughts for so long–-too long–-that the sound of it feels foreign to his ears. “I’ll just bring in one of the baskets she already left. You can go.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know any Garcia; the delivery is from a… Dr. Alex Blake.”

Spencer opens his eyes, and it seems that his other senses come back online as well: he can hear the tick of a clock, the drip of the faucet, and he can smell something incredible on the other side of the door–-there’s an aromatic sauce, fresh herbs, breadcrumbs, maybe? His stomach growls involuntarily, empty and aching, now that he’s paying attention to it.

“It’s lasagna,” his guest says as if they could hear the rumble. “Roasted broccoli. Mixed green salad. She said you were probably starving.” There is a shuffle of feet on the other side of the door, and Spencer can tell that the person with the delivery has slid down to a seat not unlike his own. Even though he doesn’t know them, he feels a kind of kinship as they sit back to back… and the food smells even better now, as the scent of it wafts through the crack at the bottom of the door. “I made chocolate chip muffins, too. She said you have a sweet tooth.”

“You can leave it,” he croaks, and then clears his throat. “I’ll eat it, I promise.”

“Sorry, Spencer. I promised Dr. Blake I’d only hand it directly to you, and she’s tougher than she looks.”

A laugh bubbles up in Spencer’s throat, and he’s so surprised by it that it comes out a half cough, half bark. He folds his hands and drops them into his lap.

“That she is. I don’t blame you for not disobeying her.”

“Oh, perfect, then you’ll open the door?” they ask, but he says nothing in response. “Look, I don’t know much about you besides your name and address, and I can tell you’re not in a talking mood, so I’m just going to talk about me, okay?” When they’re met with silence, they continue. “So… I’m a chef. I own my own business, this business, making meals for people. Sometimes it’s people who are disabled or who’ve been injured and can’t cook. Sometimes it’s elderly people who live alone; sometimes it’s people struggling with their mental health. I’ve always been looking for a way to combine my passion for food with philanthropy.”

“That’s noble of you.”

“Not really. It just feels like the right thing to do. Food can be so personal and uplifting, and I don’t think they should miss out on all the joy food can bring just because they’re unable to cook–-or in some cases, leave home at all.”

Spencer picks at a loose thread at his wrist, focuses on it when he tells the lie.

“I could leave if I wanted to.”

“Maybe. I think if you could have, you would have, though.”

He supposes they’ve got him there.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, or embarrassed about. We all struggle at different times of our lives.” They sigh, shift in their seat. “A few years ago, I was so depressed it became hard for me to bathe. I would just stand there and look at the empty shower, the empty tub, all of the bottles lined up on the edge of it, and just… stare. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Just removing my clothes felt like it took hours.”

Spencer surreptitiously—he doesn’t know why, he is physically alone, after all—lifts his robe to his nose, and recoils at the reminder that showering hasn’t been something he’s been able to conquer just yet either.

“How did you overcome it?” he murmurs, and he’s not even sure they’ve heard him for a moment, until they hum thoughtfully.

“Time. Therapy. Friends. Food.” There’s a soft thump as they set something down on the floor beside them—a paper bag, maybe. “Also Prozac. In fact, it was probably mostly the Prozac.” Spencer huffs a laugh despite himself, one his visitor heartily returns. “If you can just open the door, Spencer, I’ll slide the bag to you; technically that’s all Dr. Blake asked for. It’s a baby step, but I find that baby steps can be really helpful during times like these.”

Baby steps, he thinks. He inhales deeply, exhales deeply. He can do this. Can will his hand to cover the knob, to turn it. Can open the door just enough to receive the package—the steamy, fragrant, mouthwatering package—and then eat for the first time in what feels like an eternity.

It’s hard. Almost impossible. But he turns the knob.

They push the bag through the small gap he provides, then close the door again. He exhales, glad they stood up to their end of the bargain, didn’t want to come in or see him face to face. They leave with a soft, "I'll see you tomorrow, Spencer," and he opens the bag. He doesn't smile, but it's a near thing.

Baby steps.

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #the end of cj's chapter #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x gender neutral reader

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na-dineee · 3 months

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Hey @myheartalivewrites, thanks for tagging. 😍☺️🤝 This is my first tag here on tumblr and I'm actually just a silent reader trying to satisfy my rwrb addiction. Hyperfixation going strong over here !! 🙈😭 Is there any prospect of improvement? However, quick and easy, here are my answers.

Last film: Well, apart from the shooting/war/action films or the obligatory Bud Spencer ones that my boyfriend watches while I try to read in peace next to him or the Paw Patrol movie that I watched with my daughter... 🙈😂 The last two films I watched were "Leave the world behind" - strange - and "Saltburn" - didn't shock me, but captivated me in a weird way.

Last song: Whenever I ask Alexa to play some music for me, all she ever does is providing me with Taylor Swift. 🤗 So, there is that and I certainly won't complain about that. Also, I love some good 80s playlists. 💃

Currently reading: There is Heartstopper 5 waiting to be read since the middle of December 🥰🥰, and I also started "Mama's boy" by Dustin Lance Black recently.

Currently watching: I lost track of "The marvelous Mrs. Maisel" somewhere in season 3, but I totally intend to dive back in one day. I started "Surviving Summer" a while back, because it is set in Australia, involves a lot of beach life and surfing and I enjoy the Australian accent so much. 😍😍🇦🇺 Also, "Young Royals". 🥰

Currently consuming: Way too much rwrb fanfiction 🫣🫠, too much ice cream and diet coke. I'm also thinking about buying that one pair of Doc Martens, but I assume I have to be an responsible adult for one and rather invest that money into a new mattress (in hope that my back gets better). 🥲

Currently craving: Another cup of coffee, some quiet time for myself! ☕️🧘‍♀️

OMG tags! Probably no one will read this anyway and everyone I “know” here has already been tagged. Therefore, if you are reading this and haven't been tagged yet and would like to join in, feel free to do so. No pressure!! 😘

#tag game #about myself

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rockstar-pornograffitti · 1 year

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Picture This

Rick Savage x OC {Casey Spencer}

Part: I

Plot: Casey Spencer is an aspiring rock photographer, who just got the chance of a life time as the photographer for Def Leppard new picture book. What she didn’t expect is to find love along the way.

A/N: Comments are always welcome!

Casey’s POV

I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. I can’t believe I’m actually doing it, that I’m here. That me, Casey Spencer, a rancher's daughter, is taking photos of Def Leppard. It’s been my dream my whole life to be a rock and metal photographer. I know it’s an odd dream for someone who grew up around cowboys and country music. Yet I've loved metal and rock since I first heard it as a kid. The first time I heard those screaming guitars, I was hooked, then I picked up a camera and realised my dream.

Of course I was born at the end of the 20th century, so unfortunately for me it’s not like you can exactly make a living off that alone. It’s not like people are scrambling for photos of old rock stars. So to make money I do wedding photography and other things on the side. I still go to tons of rock concerts and post the photos I take on my social media. I have a pretty large following, and I sell a few prints on my website as well, but I’m far from massive or well known.

I think that’s why it came to me as such a shock when I got the call. It was hard to believe I was chosen as the photographer for the Def Leppard photo book they plan to put out, and that I’d be with them for a whole tour. It almost feels like I’m back in the 80s, and I’m nervous as hell about it.

I know I can take pretty good photos, but Def Leppard are rock legends, good isn’t good enough. They need to be the best thing I’ve ever done, I want to impress them, after all this is a huge break for me. Not to mention def leppard is one of my favourite bands ever, I grew up with posters on them on my wall. I’ve seen them live like 4 times, and own all their records. I have to do them justice. I mean sure they’re all in their 60’a but they all still look good, and therefore deserve to be captured in the most beautiful way possible.

I take one final deep breath as I knock on the door of the dressing room, this is where I meet the band for the first time and my assignment begins. I’m supposed to get more than just staged photos and live shots, also some more candid photos of them backstage and offstage as well. It’s supposed to show all of the tour experience.

I smile as the door opens, and there stands Joe Elliott himself in the flesh a foot away from me. He looks a little shocked to see me standing there at first, but once he spots the camera bag hanging off my shoulder and the crew pass hanging off my neck I think he puts two and two together.

“I’m Casey Spencer, the photographer.” I say, just to confirm the conclusion he’s most likely already come to on his own.

“You’re a woman?” He says, sounding shocked and it’s not that surprising to me. Casey happens to be a unisex name, and it’s definitely more popular for men in my neck of the woods, so this has been happening to me my whole life.

“Last time I checked.” I say, looking down my shirt for an added effect, “it’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too, I’m Joe Elliott.” He says, moving aside. “Come on in, and I’m sorry I was just expecting a man because of your name.”

“Thanks, and don't worry about it.” I say walking into the dressing room, stopping dead in my tracks as I look to the left and see Rick Savage, standing there shirtless.

I can feel the blush creeping across my cheeks. I mean sure I’ve seen him shirtless in photos, but it’s a lot different to see it in person. It almost feels like it’s something I shouldn’t be seeing, considering the fact I just kind of walked in here and he probably isn’t expecting me.

Clearly he feels the same because the moment he notices me he grabs for the nearest shirt pulling it on over his perfect chest. I quickly look away as I feel his eyes meet mine, I’d rather he didn’t know I was just gawking at him. I mean I haven’t even officially met him yet.

“I’m sorry about that, love.” He apologises giving me a smile and I can’t help but notice how beautiful his smile is in person. I mean yes in photos it is gorgeous but in person it’s even more so. “I’m Rick Savage, and you are?”

“I’m Casey Spencer, I’ll be your photographer for the tour.” I tell him, doing the typical Montana thing of offering up a handshake when you meet someone new.

“It’s nice meeting you, love.” He says with a smile, accepting my handshake. Just as Viv, Phil and Rick all round the corner. Phil of course is shirtless, showing off his perfectly toned body, but unlike Sav it’s not overly shocking. If he was wearing a shirt it would probably be more shocking, and he’s not really my type. I prefer men with a little chub on them, someone more like Sav.

“Hey, guys. I'm Casey, the new photographer.” I tell them, giving them all a friendly wave.

“Lovely to meet you.” Phil says, giving me a smile.

“I’m Vivian. It’s nice to meet you.” Says Vivian, returning my wave.

“Rick and it’s great to meet you.” Rick says last, giving me a friendly smile.

“I promise you guys I won’t be in the way.” I tell them, making my point by moving to the side of the room. “And if I am, please tell me.”

The last thing I want to do is be a hindrance in any way. I try to be the least annoying person alive. So I hope to keep to that, I’ll be taking lots of photos but I’ll be doing it in the least invasive way possible.

“You won’t be in the way, love.” Sav informs me, “and even if you are we expected you to be a bit.”

“It doesn’t matter if you expect it, just tell me anyways, I don’t mind moving.” I tell him, “I better get going on these photos.”

“Do you want us to pose or anything?” Joe asks.

“No, I want some more candid shots.” I tell them, as I begin setting up my camera and adjusting the setting correctly for the lighting. “I’ll take some staged ones after the concert.”

“Alright works for me.” Joe shrugs, going back to whatever he’s doing.

I pick up my camera and peer through the viewfinder at my first target Phil. He’s sitting a few feet from me doing crunches or pulls up or something. I don't know the terms for workouts. What I do know though is I’m sure these are the kind of photos his fans would eat up, so I line up the camera making a few adjustments before snapping a bunch in a row.

That’s the key to making sure you at least get one keeper, taking a lot of photos. It's especially true when you aren’t staging a photo and therefore can’t manipulate the outcome.

Once I’m finished, I take a quick look through them on the screen and decide I have a couple of keepers and that’s good enough for me. I was nervous but the moment I met everyone and I picked up my camera all those nerves just melted away. I love photography and I’m doing exactly what I’ve always dreamed. I couldn’t be happier, and yes this will be a long assignment but I couldn’t be more ready for it. It’s a bonus they’re all nice as well, which makes working with them a lot easier, because believe me I’ve had some not so nice clients in the past. I think everyone will work out nicely.

_____________________________________________

Sav’s POV

I glance at Casey from the corner of my eye, she’s lazer forced on Phil taking photos of him. Who as per usual is working out, all shirtless and sweaty, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little jealous he’s getting all her attention.

She’s striking, with copper hair and bright green eyes. She has delicate beautiful features, yet her colouring makes her stand out. Casey is gorgeous.

It was surprising to find Casey was a woman, I remember months back when we picked her, we assumed she was a man based on her name. So when a beautiful woman walked into the dressing room I was a bit shocked. If we were back in the 80s I might not have been, back then the dressing room was usually crawling with beautiful women.

It’s not the 80’s anymore and we aren’t young men, women aren’t exactly flocking to us. So now whenever I see a beautiful younger woman I assume she’s someone's guest.

In one way I’m lucky she’s not, I feel less guilty thinking of her the way I am, but in another I’m not. I could never act on those feelings because for one she’s working for me technically, and she’s got to be half my age, maybe even a quarter of it. There is no way she’d possibly want anything to do with an old man like me, especially not in the way I’m thinking of her. It would make it a lot easier to push those feelings aside if she was related to one of the blokes or something, but I’ll just have to fight it.

I quickly pretend to be flipping through my wardrobe as I notice her point the camera in my direction. I’d rather she had no idea I was just looking at her, I don’t want her to get creeped out by it or something. Though I’d love to pose for her, or maybe show off a bit, she instructed us to act like she’s not here. Which for me is clearly an impossible task, after all I’m standing metres away from the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. Something tells me this tour will be a long one.

#the bitch writes #rick savage fanfiction #def leppard fanfiction #rick savage x oc #def leppard #rick savage

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anyathefandom · 1 year

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I feel behind on GH right now (probably because I am because I just haven't been wanting to watch GH. Legit been procrastinating on watching these episodes since last Wednesday 🙈) but what I'm getting from what I've seen from the timeline is (this is going to be soooo out of order):

Trina is still insisting that her and Spencer are just friends and we all know she's not being upfront on wanting more than friendship because she doesn't want to put herself in the position to be hurt again by Spencer and you can tell Spencer senses it too so that's why he tells her point blank that he will never hurt her again.

Fuck the Ashford men (expect for tj) forever. They need to stop being fucking nosey and keep their eyes in check.

Portia is still trying to beef with Jordan about Curtis of all people.

Trina is excited to go on her date support Spencer at Britt's memorial

Everybody on the timeline has gotten as fed up as me with Carly and Nina's lame ass rivalry. End that shit writers. RIGHT TF NEOW🙃

Crew banged. Really wished drew got the neil treatment post sex. Like where TF is a psycho with a needle when you need them.🤷

Willow is still being a dumbass. Like at this point let the bitch die if she wants to so bad. Like please frank hire me as an extra bringing out the body bag.🙃 Also it's still unbelievable to me that she's a nurse.

Rory is still being refered to as just Trina's friend.🤭

Stella is about to be messy asf at this wedding about Trina's paternity.💅

Ava seems to be officially done with Nik and is just disgusted by his very being. Also good on her for getting wyndemere. Cheers to her!🍸 sidenote: Still bitter that ViVa didn't rise and we didn't have them having sex all over wyndemere just to fuck up Nikolas's day.😢

Spencer basically: So do you think I'm ready to be a father? Trina: Umm what I think doesn't matter. Spencer: You matter to me so what you say matters🫶Trina with love: Oh then Hell no.❤️

I know something is going down with Austin and Ava but I genuinely don't know because everytime I see Austin I just ⏭️ so is it worth investing in y'all???👀

Cody still continues to be a thing which is beyond me.

it's still FREE SASHA all day every day

Also one thing about Vanna is that their either fucking or about to fuck and I love that for them.🌝

Sidenote: Legit wished drew wasn't back to kissing Carly's ass so soon because we could've gotten one night stand Jordan x drew. Hear me out. Drew who is now done with Carly is either part of Curtis's wedding party or just at the wedding as a guest runs into Portia and they start to catch up. Things go to shit at the wedding and Jordan feels exceptionally great about Portia x Curtis wedding blowing up so she celebrates by having sex with drew.

Nik and liz's mom were having a bitch off and a long the way Nik asked her mom for a favor regarding suppressing esme's memories permanently.

I saw the preview for tomorrow and I have a feeling that ava is about to give Spencer the video of nik confessing to throwing Esme over the parapet and "killing" her. I could see Spencer showing him the video and threatening Nik to surrender his parental rights and therefore Nik will probably leave town since he's burned a lot of his bridges and now he won't even have the do over baby to keep him around.

#general hospital

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golden-barnes · 3 years

Text

Audacity

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Summary: Bucky has a long list of reasons to hate John Walker. But the fake Captain America deciding to flirt with you, definitely takes the cake.

Category: Smut 18+

Warning: Jealous Bucky is just soft dom! Bucky, dirty talk, penetrative sex, slight chocking, closet sex, and just John Walker being annoying

Word count: 1.9k

Author’s note: trying out this new format bc I liked the way it look when I did the Spencer Reid fic. A small spoiler warning for the newest FATWS episode but other than that it’s like an AU bc this really has nothing to do with yesterdays’ episode. Comment and reblog pls and thank you!

There’s a lot to hate about John Walker. The fact that he is trying to replace Steve as a cheap version of Captain America. His stupid face and the way he handles the shield. Even the way he speaks comes off as pretentious and arrogant.

But what really made Bucky seethe with anger is the fact that his little beady eyes would not stop looking at you. Undressing you with his eyes. Taking in every move and gesture you made. It made Bucky’s blood boil. He kept clenching and unclenching his fist. How haven’t you noticed his insisting fucking starring?

“Can you chip your teeth? Because I’m pretty sure you might by how clenched your jaw” Sam said, patting Bucky on the back. He just rolled his eyes but decided not to say anything.

There was nothing that can be done. They made a silent pack not to anger the imposter. The government had asked Sam, Bucky and you to help out with a smuggling ring that they have discovered and low and behold, their little Captain America got his ass handed to him. They basically begged them to help. Bucky almost screamed a Fuck no into their faces but you managed to hold him off from punching the soldier that appeared at your apartment.

You turned around and bent over to pick up something. You were unaware that the fake Captain America licked his crusty lips while looking at you. He kept eying you like a piece of meat. Bucky rolled his eyes again and turned to Sam who was quietly reading the reports.

“Can I punch him?” Bucky whispered to Sam.

“Do you want your pardon to be revoked?” Sam said to him, not even looking up from the reports.

“There’s nobody here. Y/N won’t say anything. You definitely won’t mind.” Bucky whispered, glaring at the blond man that kept staring at you. You clearly didn’t give a shit about him. Therefore, why was he still looking at you?

Sam rolled his eyes at his ex-assassin friend. “Yeah, and later we can steal the shield.” Sam looked up from the reports and pushed them to the side.

“Exactly! Yeah, now that’s a plan.” Bucky said excitedly, standing up from his chair trying to make his way to John before being stopped by Sam, who grabbed his friend by the arm and pulled him back into his chair. Before Bucky could protest, he heard you whistle at them.

“Hey, guys! I think I have something.” You said. The three men surrounded you, while you were explaining how you found out the new base location for the smuggling ring.

Bucky tried his best to focus on what you were saying and your explanation, but he couldn’t help but notice that the Kmart version of Captain America was inching closer and closer to you. Didn’t this man have a wife? Bucky swore he read that somewhere. Why does he keep staring and getting closer to you?

“Oh! Sorry, ma’am.” The jackass said, when he “accidentally” bumped into you, he grabbed your waist and forearm to stabilize you.

“It’s okay.“ You told him, and let out a soft chuckle. Bucky felt his pen explode in his hand. The three of you turned to the pouty super soldier who just rolled his eyes and went back to looking at the schematics.

You knew something was up with Bucky. He didn’t say anything. Not after the pen exploding incident. Not even when you were joking around with Sam. He loved making witty comebacks to your jokes. It was your thing.

But maybe it was John Walker’s presence that made it uncomfortable for him. You knew Bucky hated the guy, mostly cause he took Steve’s spot without earning it. But there was something more to this. Bucky has always had a staring problem, but the number of sharp glares he has been sending to Walker has been enough to alert anyone. You couldn’t comfort him, not without making it super apparent that you are dating. And Bucky had already expressed that he doesn’t want to publicize it unless it’s only Sam that’s around.

“Agent Y/L/N, I think I found something,” Torres said, signaling to you to go follow him upstairs. You took one last look at Bucky, who was still glaring at the oblivious John Walker.

“Damn, I don’t know how you guys get any work done with that around you all the time,” John said, staring at you walking up the stairs. More specifically, staring at your ass.

Bucky looked at Sam, almost begging him to let him punch the douchebag that is this man. But Sam gripped his forearm. Bucky will not lose his pardon like this.

“How about we focus on the damn mission?” Bucky almost growled. John Walker put his hands up.

“I’m sorry man. It’s just- look at her.” John sat back and leaned into his chair. From the distance, he could see you talking to Torres.

“C’mon man. You asked us for our help but we aren’t here to do all the work.” Sam said trying to be the peacemaker between the super-soldier with a murderous gaze and the soldier with the wondering eyes.

“Yeah. Yeah sorry.” John said trying to go back to the records. You were descending from the stairs and walking over to them. John brought his attention back to you. The way your hips would sway when you walked. The confidence in every step. Everything Bucky loved, and apparently fucking John did too.

“Guys, I think we need to rest for today. I am a little bit burned out. I think we all are.” You said, with your hands on your hips. Bucky felt his heart clench, you did look tired. Especially because you were almost doing all the work and piecing all of the clues.

“That’s an incredible idea.” Sam said stretching in his chair. He also looked tired. It made Bucky feel bad that he has been focusing all his energy on glaring and not helping out. He almost felt guilty.

Almost because a surge of rage flows through him again. John “Can’t take a hint” Walker smirked at you while you were grabbing the files that were on the table.

Bucky didn’t even give you a chance to say goodbye. To Sam or the annoying motherfucker that made Bucky want to break rule number 2.

“Woah, Buck. what are you doing?” You said while the brunet dragged you around the base. His grip on your forearm was hard but not enough for it to hurt. Bucky wouldn’t hurt you, not in any way you wouldn’t like it.

There was something about how Bucky was walking, the silence, the way he was searching for something but never letting go of you.

Bucky opened up a closet door.

“Get in, doll.” He whispered in your ear, in a low deep voice. You let out a gasp, feeling goosebumps all over your body. You looked at Bucky in the eyes, and you knew he wasn’t in the mood for a fight. You entered the closet space without protesting.

It was a small storage closet. It barely had anything in it so you felt cramped. You turned to Bucky, while he closed the door. The man stalked towards you and you walked backward till your back hit the wall. Bucky had you cornered, and you didn’t mind it.

“Did you have fun, doll?” Bucky said, getting close to your face. His hands went to your hips, pulling you towards him.

“Buck, what are you talking about?” You whispered to him. Bucky rolled his eyes and took one of his hands off your hips. Placing it on your neck, lightly applying some pressure to it. You gasped at his touch, he chuckled a bit at your reaction.

“C’mon darling. Did you have fun playing around with the imposter Captain America? I mean he had fun looking at you. So I’m assuming that you had fun being looked at.” He said, with his hand still on your neck and his face inches away from your face. You looked at your boyfriend with wide eyes.

“Oh, you didn’t notice that. Well, I did. Maybe I should teach you who do you belong to. Would you like that sweetheart?” He said, his breath tickling your lip. You nodded, breathless. Bucky smiled at you.

The hand that was around your neck, went to your chin. Grabbing it and pulling you closer so that your lips would meet. His hands started to wander across your body, while yours looped around his neck.

Your kisses started to grow hungrier, more desperate. As if Bucky spotted kissing you, you would fade away. His hands reached the zipper of your pants and pulled it down. Not even breaking from your kiss, Bucky managed to push your pants down. You break from your kiss to get out of them, while Bucky took off his pants and underwear.

He didn’t wait. He pushed you softly back on the wall and started to leave kisses and soft bites all over your neck.

“Jump, baby girl,” He said softly against your skin, patting your butt.

And you did just so. Wrapping your legs around his waist, with one of his hands on your ass and another moving your panties to the side.

“Hold that there, baby. Let me make you feel so good.” Holding his neck with one hand, you moved another hand to hold your panties to the side, to make it easy for him.

“Good girl.”And with one thrust, he was inside you, hitting all the spot. You moaned and gripped the back of his neck tightly.

“Like that doll? Can anyone else do this to you uhn? C’mon doll give me everything you got.” With every word that came out of his mouth, he would thrust hard and deep into you. You felt lightheaded. Your legs tightening around his waist but his thrust wouldn’t stop.

“Fuck, Buck. Don’t stop.” You gasped. Bucky kept kissing your neck. Overloading your senses. You were close, you knew it. Bucky knew it. You could feel him grin against your skin.

“Who makes you feel this good, doll?” He asked. You gasped at his sudden change in pace. He started to thrust more desperately, less controlled. He was close too.

“You. Fuck, only you.Shit, Bucky. I’m going to cum.” Bucky smirked at you.

“Then cum, doll.” Bucky silenced your cries with his lips. Still thrusting into you, letting you ride your high and getting to his. And that wouldn’t be long.

With one final thrust, Bucky came. He gave you a soft kiss on the lips and let you down.

“I love you, James Buchanan Barnes.” You said, putting on your pants.

“I love you too, Y/N.” He smiled at you. You slapped his chest lightly, which made him laugh.

“I hope you realize that I would never go with discount Captain America over there.” You joked which made Bucky laugh even harder. You both were dressed and tried to look as decent as you could to leave the closet and the base.

“Let’s hope that fucking in an army base won’t be the reason you lose your pardon.” You said, grabbing Bucky’s hand, to give him reassurance. He gave you a smirk.

“Maybe if we let them watch, they won’t take it away,” Bucky replied to you, giving you a wink.

“Yeah and get John Walker to join would also help your case.” Bucky stopped in his tracks and looked at you.

“Oh, you are gonna get it when we get home.” Now it was your turn to wink at your boyfriend.

“I’m hoping I do.” Bucky shook his head but pulled you closer to him. Wrapping his arm around your shoulders, walking towards the exit of the base. Confident that John Walker couldn’t take you away from him.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x reader smut #winter soldier x reader

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lyrelyretheresmeninthathorse · 2 years

Text

Pressure

Summary: It’s your birthday and Spencer has a special gift for you. Despite multiple attempts, he struggles to find the perfect time to present it to you.

A/N: Slight warning for very slight mentions of blood - just a smallish cut. Let me know what you think!

Part Two

Masterlist | Requests

Your birthday was often a strange event, as were those of the entire BAU you supposed. Last year you and the team had been chasing an unsub with a penchant for collecting fingernails around Seattle and the year before had been spent liaising with the LAPD to catch a serial arsonist. It was safe to say, that this year your expectations were a little low; you were hoping for a fun drink or two with your colleagues but little else other than a full night’s sleep.

It was surprising, then, and really quite nice that you were not miles from home; for once, there had been no invitations from far away states and you and the team were merely completing paperwork. It wasn’t the most exciting thing you could be doing for your birthday, that was for sure, but you were too used to the wrong kind of excitement to care.

The clack of wheels drew your attention from the wordy document you were currently poring over. “Hey,” you greeted, a warm smile gracing your lips as you looked at Spencer. “You come to help out?” You asked, lifting your pile of yet unfinished paperwork into his eye-line.

Almost shyly, his eyes averted from yours - darting first to his wringing hands before landing on the closed door of Hotch’s office. “I’m kidding,” you gave him, cutting him off before he could awkwardly tell you that it was against some kind of rule.

Relieved he nodded with a chuckle. Spencer, in general, seemed a nervous individual. Although you always considered skittish a better word for him. His social confidence had more than improved over the years, but there were plenty of things - just like anyone else, you supposed - that still melted him back into nervousness. His show of nervousness now, therefore, was nothing particularly new. Why he was so nervous in this very moment, however, you couldn’t quite pin down.

Eyes darting down to his hands, gripping a neat parcel in his lap, you raised an eyebrow. “What’s that?”

Own eyes jumping down to it, he stammered over a response but never quite got the words out. Garcia interrupted him before he could muster a full sentence, announcing her sudden presence with a stream of glitter and confetti pooled upon your desk. “Oh wow,” you tried to enthusiastically exclaim as she also tossed some confetti in a way that ensured it landed in your hair.

“Happy birthday!” She all but squealed as you shook your hair out.

A wry smile overtaking you, appreciating the thoughtfulness if not the gesture itself, you nodded up at her. “Er Thanks, Garcia.”

You and Spencer both leaned back as a large bouquet of flowers was heavily placed on your desk. The smell, while pleasant, was a little overwhelming. As Spencer tried to subtly cough beside you, you grinned at the flowers. There was no question that Garcia had chosen them herself; the petals were a wonderfully soft pink but the most obvious clue was the somewhat garish addition of roses that had been sprayed with gold glitter.

Moving the large vase to the corner of your desk, the flowers still overtaking the majority of the space, you thanked her. “They’re really… something.”

She beamed, not catching the amused glance you shared with Spencer, and waved a hand. “Oh it’s nothing,” leaning in to sniff one of the pink flowers, she continued. “I know you’re not a big birthday kinda person but you absolutely cannot expect me to ignore such a big day!”

Placating her enthusiasm, you stood to make a show of smelling the pungent floral fragrance. “They’re lovely, really, thank you.”

She somehow beamed a little brighter and, gripping your hand and tottering in her heels slightly with excitement, she pulled you alongside her. “There’s more!”

Gracelessly falling after her, you turned your head to shoot a wide eyed grin to Spencer who returned the gesture with a warm gaze of his own.

———————————————————————

Fingers tapping against the carefully wrapped parcel in his lap, Spencer watched you go. A little wave of disappointment crested over him but was overshadowed by what he knew would be short-lived relief. There was both an excitement and fear tied with the gift he was hoping to give you; his ever busy mind harassing him with constant questions of whether he had interpreted your behaviour objectively enough, of whether he was about to ruin your friendship forever, and more importantly whether you would understand the meaning of the gift regardless.

Somehow, he had managed to cut through that whitenoise of uncertainty and follow Morgan’s advice; “they’re being awfully patient with you but I’m telling you now, thats not gonna last forever. You better make a move sometime this century.”

The gift would be his quiet, subdued confession; one more than overdue but still nerve wracking. He loved you and in his own, perhaps cowardly, way he would tell you with this gift. That is, if he were able to ever actually give it to you.

Watching you go had therefore been disappointing but the feeling had been immediately salved as you looked back at him. The look felt like a secret, a glance shared between the two of you like whispered gossip; your thoughts conveyed perfectly only to him with such a simple gesture.

With markedly less enthusiasm, he wheeled his chair back to his own desk, deposited the gift back into his drawer, and stood to join the party now happening in the round table room.

———————————————————————

An hour and a half later, the expanse of time that Hotch was willing and able to put aside for non-work related activity, the party was reaching its close. Spencer admittedly had not been to a great many parties, but he was sure their impromptu gathering could not be accurately defined as one. Still, you seemed to enjoy it; laughing animatedly with JJ as she made some joke he couldn’t quite understand and happily licking the butter icing from the top of your birthday cupcake. The latter action sent an almost audibly sputtered breath from him as his eyes caught sight of your lapping tongue. Things only worsened when Morgan pointed out the icing smeared over your lips. In a single swipe you collected all the icing on the tip of your pointer finger and proceeded to salaciously suck the finger clean. Although, he was certain he were the only one in the room deriving such guilty pleasure from the objectively normal action. When it came to you his thoughts often derailed into either hopeless romance or crimson desire.

Normal work set in quite quickly after that. The usual routine of the office a little lighter after the celebration but the tasks still menial despite the ease Spencer found in them. Even as he flipped through the pages of his last folder, eyes zipping down the last page, he couldn’t prevent a small portion of his attention sticking fast to the gift he was yet to give you. Time was ticking by and he felt that if he didn’t do it today, he would never work up the courage again.

You were at your desk, your hunched figure almost framed by the dramatic floral arrangement still upon your desk. Hand resting upon the gift, as though the item would somehow bestow him confidence, Spencer methodically formulated a plan. He wondered if maybe he should approach under some other guise, add some forced casualness into the giving of his gift, but he couldn’t conceive of a viable option.

He considered making you a coffee, a splash of milk and one and a half sugars just as you liked, but it was past four pm. You never drank coffee after two pm, even when you were miles from home on a case filled with late nights. It was some unspoken rule of yours that he had never seen you break.

He considered bringing a file over to you and asking for help. That ruse would be see through, however. He had never asked you for help before and the mere prospect that he wouldn’t have finished by now would certainly either cause you great suspicion that he was up to something or inspire concern in you that something had happened to his brain.

His lips twitched and fingers drummed against his desk as he considered his options. It seemed, much to his chagrin, that he would simply have to approach you guiseless.

Something Spencer’s wandering mind had somehow not noticed, however, is that in all the time he had been considering his options his eyes had been fixed on you. It was little surprise, really, his gaze found you so often it was likely his eyes naturally rested upon you at this point. Unfortunately, the passive attention had not gone unnoticed. Your lips forming his forename pricked his ears and his eyebrows rose in surprise.

Focusing more intently on you, he leaned towards your desk with a question. “Sorry, what was that?”

You didn’t answer immediately, eyes wandering over his figure in some kind of assessment of his faculties. Eyebrows crinkling together when you rematched his gaze, you stood and moved closer to him. “You okay?” He nodded quietly, swallowing thickly as you stood over him. “You seem a little… lost in thought.”

Gaze dropping from you momentarily, he looked to the gift still beneath his palm. It truly was now or never. He opened his mouth to speak, lifted his hand to offer the parcel to you, but was cut off by a loud and sudden yowl from the kitchenette. The pair of you turned your heads in tandem, the yell so full of anguish it was impossible to resist, the gift hovering between you yet to be accepted.

The source of the yell was Morgan. The man was cradling his right hand as he leaned heavily against the sideboard, pain apparent on his features and continued groans escaping him.

Neither of you moved right away, assessing the situation as best you could from afar but when crimson began leaking from his clenched hand you took off with a muttered curse. Depositing the gift back upon his desk, Spencer quickly sprang from his desk to follow you.

———————————————————————

“Morgan, what happened?!” You asked, voice high pitched and frantic, as you pried his clenched fist open. A large cut was sliced across his palm and as the pressure of his fingers lifted the gory mess worsened dramatically. “Reid, hand me that paper towel.”

“Got it,” came Spencer’s reply beside you. You raised a grateful glance to him as you took the paper towel before concentrating on your task. Pressing the towel over the cut, you encouraged Morgan to use his other hand to apply significant pressure.

“Look in the sink,” Morgan gave eventually, by way of explanation. Peering into the murky depths of the overfilled sink you raised an eyebrow.

Spencer voiced the question on your mind. “I don’t see anything?”

With a huff, Morgan nodded, “exactly.” Nodding to the sink, he continued; “someone,” he stressed the word as though he knew exactly who that someone was, “left a knife in there despite me telling her every week how dangerous it is.”

Spencer grimaced at the sight of blood seeping through the paper towel and leaned closer with crinkled eyebrows. “Let me see,” he requested, frown deepening as he inspected the wound. “You’re going to need stitches,” he asserted, much to Morgan’s clear disappointment.

Morgan looked to you as though in search of a second opinion, you merely shrugged. “I’m not gonna argue with the doctor.”

Spencer gave you a little smirk. A few months ago he might have reminded you that he wasn’t actually a medical doctor but it seemed he knew you well enough by now to recognise the joke.

“I’ll take you,” you offered Morgan with a sigh, already fishing for your keys in your jacket pocket.

Spencer’s voice stilled you. “I can do it,” looking to him, you raised your eyebrows in silent question at this strangely sweet gesture. “It’s your birthday,” he pointed out needlessly, “and there’s only seventeen minutes left to work; you’re going out for drinks tonight,” you nodded in a confirmation of this fact that he didn’t really need. “enjoy your birthday, you don’t get to very often.”

A smile lifted your lips even as you felt guilt wash over you at the prospect of letting Spencer deal with this. Considering, you chewed your lip. Your lengthy consideration, however, seemed to take a little too much time for Morgan. “I’m about to bleed out over here,” you rolled your eyes dramatically at him.

“Are you sure?” You asked, attention back on Spencer, shifting in your heels in premature excitement.

“Absolutely,” he told you, resolute.

You squealed with excitement and, overcome with gratitude, sprang forward to hug the man. He responded with a surprised “oh” alongside an almost nervous chuckle.

“Sorry,” you muttered, pulling back but still smiling up at him. The pair of you remained like that, smiling dumbly at each other, for perhaps a moment too long.

Morgan straightened and interrupted the moment with a clear of his throat. When he had gained your attention, he told you with a smile; “happy birthday, really, but my hand is gonna fall off if we don’t go soon.”

“That’s highly doubtful,” Spencer began, almost looking affronted by the outlandish suggestion, “for your hand to ‘fall off’ it would be necessary to cut through several layers of skin and muscle. Plus-“

“Reid, let’s go.”

Remembering himself, Spencer blinked rapidly a few times before nodding like a bobble head, wishing you a last farewell, and rushing off after Morgan.

Watching the pair disappear you sighed, hands wrapping around your elbows. A strange disappointment that you couldn’t quite place had overtaken you as they had left. Pulling yourself together, wanting to feel nothing but positive on your birthday, you turned your attention to the kitchen.

You cleaned up as best you could, wiping down the surfaces and carefully extracting the offending knife from the sink before draining the ruby tinged water. Within ten minutes the kitchen looked as though nothing untoward had occurred; a miracle really, considering the surprising amount of blood Morgan had produced.

With little time left until you were free to enjoy your birthday to the max, you meandered back to your desk. On the way, the forgotten parcel upon Spencer’s desk caught your attention. Changing trajectory, you stopped at his desk and delicately fiddled with the tag of the gift. Your name was scrawled upon it in Spencer’s familiar, somewhat scruffy, handwriting.

Would it be considered rude for you to take the gift and open it? After all it was clearly meant for you and he had already attempted to deliver the gift himself.

This ‘consideration’ was merely surface level; the gift was in fact already sitting upon your own desk being less than delicately unwrapped by your impatient fingers.

Slowly, a book was revealed. As you turned the tome over a gorgeous floral illustration met your gaze. Running your fingers over the somewhat raised golden lettering, you read the title; “The Secret Language of Florists.”

A few months ago you had been entirely floored to learn the secret messages that could be sent using nothing but a well designed floral bouquet. You could hardly remember what had been the catalyst for the conversation, perhaps one of the BAU’s many unusual cases, but you had been strangely fascinated by the entire concept. A sprig of purple heather to wish the recipient good luck, for example. And, your personal favourite, the inclusion of a single white daisy as a silent vow to keep a secret.

There were so many more that Spencer had entertained you with, but they had fallen from your mind amongst the plethora of white noise that daily life forced upon you.

Excited by this gift, you turned to the first page. Between the cover and the first page, a pressed flower delicately sat; it’s rich red petals striking against the ivory white of the page. As you lifted the flower, wishing to admire its preserved beauty, you inadvertently revealed more of Spencer’s scrawled handwriting upon the page.

A message from me to you.

You grinned widely to yourself, shifting so excitably in your seat that anyone watching would think you were attempting some strange dance. So, the flower was a message - one the book could help you decipher the meaning of. Feeling like a spy deciphering this secret encoded message, you looked to the flower.

Even in its flattened state the flower was clearly a chrysanthemum. Taking care not to tear any pages in your excitement, you found the double page spread devoted to the flower. An illustrated yellow chrysanthemum decorated the middle of the page, providing confirmation that you had been correct in your initial assessment, and you skimmed through the surrounding words.

White chrysanthemums were symbols of truth, apparently, but you skipped past the rest of the explanation to find the meaning behind your red chrysanthemum. As you read the words, you brought the flower close to your chest. Your lips broadened into a giddy grin and your heart felt as though it may burst with sudden fullness.

A red chrysanthemum, very simply, means ‘I love you’.

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foralwaysandforever · 2 years

Text

No One But You

Jack Sparrow x gn!Reader

Word count: almost 1k words

Genre: a bit of angst with a fluffy ending <3

Warnings: none except maybe slight self deprecation in the beginning (I didn't know how to avoid that as the reader is insecure😭)

Tags, real quick: @spencer-oof and @sehnsuchts-trunken <3

Prompt: Hi um idk if you do x male reader but if you do, do you think you could do a captain jack sparrow x male reader like really fluffy and a bit of angst like maybe the reader is a bit insecure sorry for bothering you btw happy thanksgiving!

(Link to why it's gn!reader instead of male if anyone wanted to know)

So sorry this is pretty far after Thanksgiving, but Happy Thanksgiving to you too <3 I kind of went for straight up insecure reader, I hope you don't mind it!! This is my first time writing for Jack, I would totally accept any constructive criticism anyone has💞

♡°♡°♡

“Not this again,” you thought, sighing. You stared into the mirror in distaste, a frown etched upon your features. Every time you gazed in one, you found something new to dislike. You didn’t want to feel this way, but you couldn’t help it. Especially when the man you were in love with, Captain Jack Sparrow, had his pick of partners. The man was charming, if not a little careless, and a heartbreaker.

Sure, he seemed to love you, but how long would that last? He traveled all around the world, meeting the finest people with the most flawless looks and charm and wit. All in all, you just weren’t sure if he would still love you if he met someone who was more charismatic or smart. You flopped down onto your surprisingly comfortable bed. It wasn’t supposed to be, though. If things had gone your way, you would be sleeping in a damp hammock with the crew. But Jack, sweet Jack, had given you the finest cabin on the Black Pearl. You had begged him not to, and insisted that as the captain he deserved to have it. But his stubbornness was as strong as his kindness to you. “Love, that is an absurdly ridiculous notion and therefore shall be disregarded,” he had waved his hand as if to shoo your arguments away and sauntered off before you could protest once more.

Now there you were, in “your” cabin, alone with your thoughts. You laid there for some time before you had the bright idea of going above deck. Or more like a sliver of light stretched through your window and almost visually impaired you. You winced and squinted at it. The sun was just starting to set outside of your cabin window, and you were sure it would look even more brilliant with the full view of the waters with it.

With that, you promptly made your way to the main deck, pausing to chuckle at Gibbs yelling at some of the men for slacking on their jobs. Once you reached the your destination, the hues of orange and red were almost blinding as the sun quickly began to fade. You leaned lazily against the railing of the ship, taking a quick glance at Jack, who was currently at the helm where he always liked to be. You didn’t catch his eye, but you were sure he knew of your presence. Jack was like that, he loved to appear less observant than he was, it caught people off guard.

Before you knew it though, he was leaning against the railing next to you, studying your face. He always knew when something was up, again, it surprised everyone around him. There was something so mysterious about Jack, the way he had so many layers and facets, no one ever knew what to expect from him. Some accepted it, like Gibbs, some rejected it, like Davy Jones.

But you yearned to know it, to know him. Jack was the most confusing yet loving person you had ever known, and it hurt your heart to think he could find someone better. Jack placed his hand over yours, his fingers covered in rings brushing against yours. You shot him a small smile which he returned, then he glanced out at the horizon. After a moment, he broke the silence.

“What’s wrong, love?”

You shifted your weight uncomfortably. You knew he was going to ask at some point, you just weren’t sure how to answer.

“I, I don’t know, it’s rather silly,” you said, your eyes glancing anywhere but his face.

“Silly does not mean unimportant, darling,” Jack said, you could hear the grin in his voice. You bit your tongue, hesitant to admit anything, but sighed anyway.

“It’s just, I don’t know, you’ve met all these gorgeous people all around the world with their amazing personalities, all these people who are practically perfect, and I’m not. I’m not perfect, Jack, and I’m replaceable. You deserve perfect, not me,” you blurt out, tired of keeping all your troubled thoughts inside your head. You snuck a glance at Jack, he looked stunned, almost. For a moment, you both stood in silence, it seemed as if Jack was gathering his thoughts. Then he tilted your face towards him, his thumbs caressing your cheeks.

“First of all, you disproved your own point, which was that I have met so many gorgeous people. If I have met those people, and still chose you, then you have nothing to fear, isn't that correct?” he started, brushing some hair out of your face. You nod. “Second, no one on this earth, living or dead is replaceable, especially not you. I would know, as I have been both," He mumbled out, you snorted despite yourself, allowing a grin to cross your face. "Y/N, you mean more to me than the sea and this ship combined,” his eyes pierced yours, a small smile lingering on his face. You held one of his hands, the other still holding your face lovingly. Jack's eyes suddenly lit up, as if a thought had occurred to him.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his compass. That funny old compass that you had thought was broken for so many years. But you knew what it meant now.

Jack opened it, and it glinted in the fading light. You watched as it spun for a moment, twisting and turning in every direction, an apprehensive breath caught in your throat. In a split second, it stopped. You were almost afraid to look, but you did anyways.

It pointed directly at you. Your eyes glistened with tears threatening to spill, relief washing over you.

“Y/N, if I had to live on land for the rest of my life to be with you, and you only, so be it. I would willingly,” Jack reassured, pulling you close, the scent of gunpowder and sea salt flooding your senses.

You wrapped your arms around him, the warmth of his body just another reminder that he was here with you, and only you. He placed a kiss on your forehead, wiping the tears from your eyes.

“No one but you, love.”

♡°♡°♡

I hope you guys like it <33

#captain jack sparrow #jack sparrow #jack sparrow x reader #captain jack sparrow x reader #jack sparrow x gn!reader #pirates of the caribbean #pirates #im very nervous about this one but I hope its okay

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railingsofsorrow · 3 years

Text

Happier Than Ever

[B.A.U team × Reader]

summary: the bau is required on alaska for a case and reader has to confront some ghosts from her past. or, in which I got inspired by happier than ever from billie eilish.

pairing: b.a.u × platonic!b.a.u!fem!reader; slightly spencer × reader

word count: 5.1K (I've never written this?long?before?)

warnings/content: tw!drugs; tw!childhood trauma; tw!abuse; mental health issues; read at your own risk; reader is the baby of the team; too much angst <3; fluff? I think?

• Y/L/N = your last name

• reader's mother's name is Charlotte Parks

A/N: This is 100% an au because nothing came from the episodes, I created a random case for the first time. does it make sense? I hope so :)

ps: press play on happier than ever by billie while reading. the experience is 1000/1000.

➶ ➷

Kodiak was a small island located in Alaska. It had over six thousand habitants, therefore, it wasn’t a big city. It was hidden by mountains and explored by bears.

That was Y/N’s favourite thing about Kodiak; whenever she looked there were mountains covered by white dust on top of them. When she was a kid, she would imagine the bears racing to see who would be the first to reach the top of the mountain. Her mind used to be so full of innocence and fantasy.

Reminiscing these moments were something she did not want. That’s why her body froze when JJ announced the location of their next case.

“Kodiak, Alaska. Get your coats, guys.” JJ jokes halfheartedly, turning the screen off, finally. Victims images would never be easy for her. Specially children.

When Hotch declares ‘Wheels up in twenty’ everyone starts to leave the round table room to grab their stuff and meet on the jet.

As Y/N checks if everything necessary was in her go bag, Penelope approaches with her pink and blue strands and a beaming smile. “Got a coat in there, baby tiger? I checked the weather in Alaska and let me tell you; it should be considered a crime anything bellow sixty— Y/N?” The woman touches her shoulder, causing Y/N to snap out of her thoughts.

“Hey, Pen.” She knowledges the blonde with a tight-lipped smile, zipping her bag shut to put it over her left shoulder

“You’re okay, bub?” She asks as they begin to walk towards the elevator. “Seemed a little out of it for a sec,”

Y/N presses the button as soon as they get inside the metallic box. She turns to her friend with a reassuring smile, “Yeah, all good. Just an annoying headache.”

Penelope decides to believe her for now.

Before the doors can close, Spencer blocks it with his hand, smiling sheepishly to the girls as he enters the elevator.

Y/N has no idea that the headache is about to become a full on migraine of at least for three days straight.

Coming back home was like dropping a ton of bricks on her shoulders without warning. Y/N was already exhausted. By the time they landed, she had checked her bag exactly twice— going for the third time.

Spencer squinted his eyes as he glances at her, passing a strap of his satchel over his shoulder.

“Are you okay?”

Zipping up her bag finally, she turns to him. “Me? Yeah, I’m perfect.”

Spencer inhales deeply before talking, “Constantly checking your things and biting your inner cheek it’s a behaviour response to a chronic anxiety disorder called OCD,” He let out in one breath, squeezing the strap of his satchel nervously. “Which means that something or someone triggered you. So, I’m asking: are you okay?”

Spencer Reid was the first person Y/N clicked with when she arrived at the Bureau, she loved his ramblings, even knowing that sometimes they could get too much. Specially right now that he was throwing her OCD right at her face.

Y/N gulped down a snarky comment, turning to him with arms crossed, “Thank you for putting your profiling skills at display, Spencer. If anyone hadn’t told you that before, you are an exceptional profiler.” By the tone in her voice, despite her gentle smile, he realized she was upset. His shoulders instantly drops and he open his mouth to retract what he said, but she quickly interjects. “Now, if you’ll excuse me. I have to get to the jet.”

Spencer watches his friend go with a helpless look.

It was cold when they arrived. The snow announced that it would get even colder. Mountains were covered in white dust in the top like a white chocolate cake; that’s what made the postcards of the city.

Hotch divided the team as soon as they landed on Alaska. Rossi, Derek, and him would be going to check out the crime scene, while Spencer and Garcia would be analysing the surveillance cameras. Lastly, Emily, JJ and Y/N would be going to the police station to gather old files they’d need to investigate and talk to the families of the victims.

They noticed a pattern during the interviews by the third family member: when a school day was finished, some kids would wait for their parents to come pick them up, and some would simply walk home by themselves, since it was a short path and a seemingly safe neighborhood. The target was the kids that went home alone. Even if, in some cases, the girls had heard they left in a group, somehow, one kid would still disappear.

“There has to be a specific spot they go through. Maybe a short cut?” Y/N prompts, analysing the pictures of the crime scenes and the school surroundings at the same time. She was trying to find anything in common. Besides the trees and the avenue, there was nothing. And the unsub could not just snatch a twelve year old in the middle of their friends on a highly trafficked area.

“Even if they did get the short cut, which is a street behind the school,” Emily pointed at an image “Michael and Ella were never targeted and they always go through this way to get home.”

Y/N bit her lip pondering, “They’re the only kids to get the short cut, right?”

“Yes.” Emily confirms.

JJ sighs, sitting down in the nearest chair. “The only pattern here is that the unsub waits for them to leave school to kidnap them, not before school starts, never on weekends...”

“It’s always the last one.”

“What?” JJ and Emily look up at Y/N questioningly.

Y/N harshly places the statement documents in front of the two agents, who gets startled. “It’s always the last kid that is targeted. Look,” Her index finger points to a certain part of the statement that one of the parents gave, “Hanna’s mom says ‘we live by the park, it used to be a safe spot for children’— Okay. Now, Ryan’s parents say ‘it’s close to the school, just across the park— It’s the park! The park is the main spot for this guy. Or woman.”

“They wait for the last kid to be left alone,” Y/N carry on with the idea, straightening her back as the images gain life in her brain. They observe, intrigued. “... enter the park, they hold until an opportunity comes and bam, catches them.”

“You think they're bold to the point of kidnapping children in the middle of the park?” JJ asks, frowning.

Y/N meets her blue eyes, shaking her head, “I don’t know. But he or she sure is bold by the fact that there’s two kids missing in a course of two days.” She sits down by Emily’s side and exhales in frustration. “What do you think, guys?”

Jennifer picks up the map of the city and a red marker, “I think we need to rule out unspecified areas around the school. If the unsub goes through the park, that means they're not keeping the victims close by.” Y/N hums in agreement, standing up so she could have a better access to her friend’s work. Emily does the same thing, and occasionally gives input to where the blonde should circle.

“I’m gonna go call Hotch. See if they find anything. This could help.” JJ nods as Y/N walks out of the office. There was no reception in the room they where working in, so she had to move outside to pick up a signal.

Y/N huffs when no line appears. As she moves forward, it finally reaches a signal of reception.

She stops abruptly when she collides into someone. Quickly apologizing for her clumsiness while the phone is in her ear. However, when she looks up at the person, everything seems to freeze as the top of the mountains in Kodiak. Y/N thinks she can actually feel her blood stop running through her veins.

“Y/N?” The woman inquires, as shocked as she was.

“Agent Y/L/N?” Her boss calls through the phone at the same time.

The later that makes her blink away from the previous inertia state she was in, “Hi- hi, Hotch. I’m sorry, mhm—” what was she supposed to say anyway?

“Is everything okay, Y/L/N?”

“Yeah! Huh. We were studying the geographical profile and we found a common spot where the kids pass by.” Y/N stole a last glance at the woman, that kept on staring at her as if she was a ghost, and stepped towards the exit of the police station. Pretending there was a better reception there. “I thought it was important for you to know, since you’re in one of the crime scenes. Is everyone there?”

Cleaning her throat—that suddenly seemed very dry—she holds for a reply.

“Everyone is here, sunshine. Go ahead.” Derek’s voice chimes on the line. Thinking that Hotch must’ve put on speaker, she begin the theory she and the girls had created.

Although, as soon as the call ended, her mind went back to the police station. And someone she hasn’t see for a long time.

A few hours later, the team joined each other to talk about the profile they would be delivering to the community.

“I’ll make some calls for the press conference,” JJ announced, leaving the room. The rest kept on sharing ideas while the public announcement didn’t came.

“How come the only thing that was found was a handkerchief?” Garcia pressed, typing loudly in her computer. Her deep frown gave away her annoyance with the case. “This bastard kidnaps children and has the audacity to, not only think about everything beforehand, but he also knits up after taking them away!”

Spencer nods fast while scribing away in the board with his messy handwriting. “That says a lot about the unsub, actually. The fact that he hasn’t left anything else in the other crime scenes means that he or she is a person with neat behaviour,” He closes the marker with a click and turns around before continuing the clarification. “Which leads to an organized offender, that is likely to be antisocial, cold...” He gives a pointed look to Y/N, who was watching his explanation quietly. The agent’s eyes widened, indicating she was caught off guard.

“Huh... Probably has OCD tendencies and is inclined towards a more dangerous persona.” Y/N concludes, breathing out in relief right after. She sends him a dirty glance, “I told you not to do that, Reid.”

Spencer simply shrugs, unbothered. A hint of a smile on his lips.

Y/N was finishing a master’s degree in psychology behaviour, so she asked who she considered to be the best professional in the area to give her some inputs: Spencer Reid. She just did not know his method of teaching were questions like that in the middle of random investigations, completely unexpected.

“But, they can also be social, right?”Y/N recalls some of his words from few days back, biting the cap of the pen distractedly, “Have a steady job... Family... Which changes the usual organized profile.”

“That way he can gain trust and insert himself in the investigation. You’re doing a good job, sweetheart. Keep it up. I know the teacher helps.” Derek playfully slaps Spencer in the shoulder and gives a wink at Y/N, that just roll his eyes at his antics.

“Please, if cornering is a great method of teaching...”

“Oh, c’mon!” Reid complains at her.

She grins at him, throwing a crumpled paper ball in his direction. He doesn’t dodge in time and it hits his cheek.

“Good aim, baby tiger.” Penelope lifts her hand to high five her. Y/N obeys proudly.

“Okay, children.” Rossi enters the room with Aaron on his heels. All attention goes to him. “Time to go. It’s all for today.”

Emily frowns, “But, aren’t we delivering the profile?”

“Not today,” Hotch says, “We should sleep on it to deliver something more concrete in the morning. Besides, the whole city is on edge, this will only cause a bigger disruption tonight.”

Everyone agrees. It was a delicate case, and a bunch of tired FBI agents or a frantic community wouldn’t be of much help. So, they left the station and went to their cars to get to the designated motel.

However, as soon as Y/N unlocked the vehicle, her name was called. Emily, who would be sharing a ride with her, looked back too. Eyebrows raising when she sees one of the witnesses from the last crime scene.

“Y/N, honey,” Emily blinked in astonishment as the nickname left the lady’s mouth. “Could I have a word with you?”

Y/N squeezes her hands into fists, knuckles turning white, “No.”

The stranger takes a step closer, entering Y/N’s personal space and touching her shoulder, “Please. It’s been so long...”

“And whose fault is that?” Y/N hisses, snatching her arm away. She got into the driver’s seat, closing the door harshly.

As she begins to drive, the review mirror shows the woman watching her with longing. It’s too late now, mother.

“Who was that? Are you okay?” Emily asks, concerned. When Y/N speeds over a red light, she knows what the answer is “Hey! Y/N, slow down.” Emily orders, holding on the car seat. “Stop the car, now.”

Y/N shakes her head, feeling her throat close up. The last thing she has control of doing is parking the car by the side of the road messily. She then opens the door and crouches down; with hands on her knees she begins to heaves.

Emily is holding her hair back in the second she reaches her.

The only meal Y/N had that day goes straight out to the grass as her back archers forward. Emily grimaces, caressing her back.

When she feels nothing will come back through her throat anymore, she stands herself up with Emily’s help.

“Easy, easy. Are you dizzy?” Emily questions while leading her to the passenger side of the car. Y/N shakes her head in denial. “Liar.” Emily blurts out, “You can barely stand, Y/N.”

“Thanks for pointing out my misery.” Y/N mumbles, eyes closed because everything seemed to be spinning around. I will not pass out right now. She warned her subconscious.

“Y/N,” Emily calls, giving her a worried glance, “Should we go to an Emergency?”

The girl chokes out a laugh, “Em, I’m fine. It was probably something I ate. Don’t worry.”

Emily narrows her eyes at the road, mentally glaring at Y/N. “Stop lying. You’re terrible at it.”

Silence becomes active in the car after that.

When Emily is parking in the motel, Y/N says in a cornered voice, “It was my mom.”

Emily looks over, her neck almost snapping by the fast movement, “That woman who talked to you?”

Y/N nods, playing with her fingers quietly. Emily frowns at her behaviour. There was something there. You didn’t have to be a profiler to see it.

“You wanna talk about it? I won’t pressure you, but just know that I’m here to listen, okay?” She takes one of her hands and gives a soft squeeze. Y/N looks up and smiles softly, muttering a low thank you.

That night, she told Emily everything. Everything about her past that she just wished to forget, but couldn’t. She told her how her mother treated her and how the drugs made everything worst; she told her how she was a target every single night her mother would come home in a bad mood; she told her she still had marks of each beating, and in parts of her body that had healed, the healing was only physical for she’d never forget.

Emily listened. And not once there was a pity look on her face, one that Y/N kept searching for but couldn’t find. There was just a hint of anger, but most of all, understanding. She was listening.

By the time Y/N stopped talking, it was over midnight.

“Em, you need to sleep. We have a long day tomorrow—”

“I’m gonna ask you something and I want you to be truthful, alright?” Y/N closes her mouth, confused. She nodded. “Do you think you can stay in the investigation?”

That made her flinch away from her. Emily quickly realized she had asked the question in the wrong words, “I can do my job, Emily. My traumas never got in the way of that. I told you this because you asked—”

“Y/N, I never told you you couldn’t do your job. I know you can. I’m just worried it might cause you a worst reaction than- than the one that happened tonight.”

Y/N crossed her arms, looking away. Emily waited.

“I can do it. I- I just need her to stay away from me.”

Emily sighs, nodding, “Right. I’ll make sure of that.”

At exactly nine a.m, the BAU delivered a profile. The ofender was a male; organized and was probably cold towards adults but softened towards kids. He had a steady job, a family, probably a child the same age of the missing children, and it was likely to insert himself in the investigation to try to outsmart the police, pretending to be worried about his own. He was between mid thirties to forty-five years old, caucasian, didn’t have a very strongly built body, and probably suffered a trauma not long ago that was the stressor to commit the kidnapping.

They didn’t spoke about the handkerchief. That was something they would watch closely every man to have and how they used it.

“I got five guys that matched your description,” Garcia blurs out, trying to match their fast walking.

“Show us.” Hotch requested.

Once they entered the office, Penelope went straight to her computer. Derek on her heels, watching her work. “What you got, baby girl?”

As Garcia described the suspects, they crossed off three, leaving two.

“Okay, so there’s Mark Cowen and Ben Parks. Both work at the local real state company.” Penelope turned the screen to the rest of the team so they could see the images

“Ben Parks, we interviewed him yesterday,” JJ shares a look with Emily, “He kept on fixing the papers in and pens on the desk, but overall he was pretty calm.”

That was the guy her mom was currently married with.

“Too calm.” Emily crosses her arm, standing straight.

“You think this could be our guy?”

“He had a handkerchief and is always wearing a suit,” Y/N pipes in for the first time in the morning. The whole team just remembered she was there with them. “I realized it this morning. He doesn’t have work today, why wear a suit to get out of the house?”

“Maybe he likes to look formal?”

The door burst open, attracting the agents and doctor attention, “Another kid went missing,” A cop said out of breath.

Everyone rushes out of the office to see every TV on the news channel, warning of another missing kid in the peaceful neighbourhood. The media taking pictures and shoving their mics into the people present at the crime scene. Without the FBI.

“Are you kidding me?!” Derek lashes out.

“Officer Marlow, how did they get this information before us?” Rossi asked sternly.

The officer had his head practically fuming out of anger, “I don’t know, agents. You can be sure this was not my order.”

“Well, now we have to go over there and stop the vultures from ruining all the evidence. Great job!” Y/N spats, walking away with heavy steps.

Hotch was probably going to order for her to take a walk anyway, so she did it before he asked.

Spencer goes after her before Emily can stop it. She sighs frustrated.

“We need to go. They’ll meet us there. There’s one more kid on the line now.”

Spencer sprints after Y/N and when he finally catches up to her, he holds her elbow so she can stop. She turns to him, trying to pry her arm off. He let her go and raised his hands in surrender, “What is going on, Y/N?” He asks, dropping his shoulders and hands. “You’ve been on edge since before we get here. And I saw the way you tensed whenever Charlotte Parks was mentioned,” Y/N opens her mouth and closes it multiple times like a fish. “You can tell me.” He said in a more soft manner, taking a step closer to her.

Y/N pushes her hair back, looking away. “Can we do this while driving to the crime scene?”

Spencer exhales, but agrees. With one condition: he’s driving. Y/N merely rolls her eyes at that. She was a great driver in all situations!

“She’s my mother.” Y/N mutters putting her seatbelt on as he exits the parking lot. Spencer frowns, eyes still focused on the road. “No—she gave birth to me. That’s all. Remember that I told you I lived with my aunt in California?”

Spencer hums a small yes.

“I ran away and that was the only place i ever felt safe. She didn’t look for me. Didn’t call. And I’m sure my aunt told her exactly where I was, Spencer. She just never cared.”

“Why did you ran away?” He asked carefully. He was scared for the answer. Spencer didn’t want it to be what he was assuming.

“Because I got tired of get beaten up for existing.” Y/N says, bitterly. “Sometimes she would come home with a new box of cigarettes and would make sure I-” Her voice breaks, interrupting her rant. She wipes the few tears that fall harshly. Focus on the case. The kids need you. “She made me hate this fucking city.”

Suddenly, Garcia’s voice played in her mind like her favourite song: Ben Parks last location was in a residence for selling.

“You don’t have to carry on if you feel uncomfortable—”

“Turn left!” Spencer looks at her and quickly goes back to the road.

“What?!”

“Turn left on the next street. This one. Right now right now right now!”

The tires screech against the sidewalk as the Doctor turns a narrow left. Y/N helds onto the seat for dear life.

“Keep going straight. At the third street you turn right.”

“Mind telling where we’re going, Y/L/N?” He only called her by her last name when he was being serious. And she could see he was annoyed.

Y/N bit her lip, almost drawing blood. “You know what Garcia said about a property to sell, a little over the lake?” Spencer nods, paying attention to the avenue but listening closely. “I asked her to search a little bit through it. It hasn’t be sold for more than three years, Spence. A house being sold for a great price in that neighborhood? Why is it still available?”

She could practically see the engines in his brain turning. “You think that’s where the kids are being kept.” It wasn’t a question, he knew she was sure by the certainty in her voice.

“Call Hotch.” It was all he said before parking in the sidewalk.

Everything was covered with snow, you could barely see a spot to step where it wasn’t white. The lake, a few metters away from them, was completely frozen.

Y/N hanged up after being yelled at by Garcia for leaving like that. Hotch was sending reinforcements. Although they weren’t one hundred percent sure, they couldn’t go in in a place where the victims were being held with possible killer that could come back at any moment.

“What are you doing?” Spencer hisses, catching her walking further as he closed the car door. Y/N pointed at the house. It was a good view to wake up to: mountains and full of trees. The perfect spot for reserved couples. Or for a kidnapper that didn’t wish to attract attention. “I can see that,” He walked towards Y/N, wrapping the FBI jacket over her shoulders. “Zip up, it’s too cold. You’re not thinking about going over there, are you?”

“Just survey the area,” She replies, inserting her arms on the jacket and zipping up as she was told to. “Can you cover for me?”

Spencer crossed his arms, “No. We’re waiting.”

“Great. The kids have been waiting for three days to be at their homes safe. How about making them be in danger for longer?”

“They’ll be here, Y/N.” He eyes his wristwatch, “In about... Fifteen minutes. Traffic here is low.”

Y/N rolls her eyes.

There was moment of comfortable silence between them as they watched the mountains. Until Spencer breaks it.

“You think she didn’t change, right?”

Y/N is surprised by the question.

“What do you mean?”

He exhales slowly, locking eyes with her, “Do you think your—that woman is still the same way she was before?”

“Does it matter?”

That seemed to satisfy him. “No, it doesn’t. I was just wondering.”

Y/N buried her hands in the jacket, a foolish attempt to warm them up. She kicked a rock distractedly, “You were wondering if I’d consider having her back in my life after everything... If she showed remorse now.”

“You’re getting good at analysing behaviour.”

“I’m good at reading you, not any behaviour.”

They shared timid smiles.

“To answer your question, I wouldn't. I never even forgave her after all those years... I'm not a person to forgive and forget, I guess.” Y/N shares, smashing snow between her fingers absentmindedly. “Does that make me a bad person?”

Reid’s phone goes off before he could reply to her question, interrupting their conversation. He picks up after a sigh, “Hey, Morgan... Ben Parks? So we were right... Don’t worry, we’ll be careful.” Upon hanging up, Spencer turns around to tell Y/N the news that they’ve got enough proof to arrest Ben Parks. What he sees, however, makes his throat dry.

Y/N was already half away across the river.

He yelled her name but it was no use, she was too far gone. A minute later his cellphone vibrated with a message. “Cover for me :)”

He scoffed in disbelief.

“Please, be careful. They found a match of Ben Parks’ DNA in the handkerchief of the first crime scene. He got away.” He quickly types and sends.

Not even a minute later, she replies.

“Ok.”

Y/N managed to take the kids to safety. However, it wasn’t that easy to find them inside the house. They were under a hidden basement; the opening right under the carpet.

As the twelve years old were lead towards their parents on the other side of the lake by Emily Prentiss and Spencer Reid, a tense silence welcomed the team. Y/N still hasn’t left the house, and they were informed a little boy was still inside.

“Where the hell is she?” Derek pressed the ear-in forcefully, as if that would make the girl answer.

“Rossi? Any eyes on Y/N?” Emily asked through her ear-in.

“Not yet—”

“Mr. Parks. Drop the weapon.”

“Everyone, stay put.”

That was the last both heard before things the line went silent again. Emily shared a worried glance with Derek, as Spencer did with JJ.

“I’m sure they’re fine.” JJ gave her best friend a soft squeeze on his shoulder

“He’s inside with them, JJ, what if—”

“Drop your fucking gun or I’ll kill them!”

The scene unfolding was dreadful. Ben Parks was pointing a gun at the back of Y/N’s head, while Y/N held a boy with swollen face and red eyes in front of her, making sure she covered the aim of the gun from the kid.

“You’re making the wrong choice, Ben.” Hotch warns, studying any loophole in his posture so he or his team could shoot. “We can do this peacefully.”

“You took my kid from me— You-- you, took her away! Where is the fucking peace on that, huh?” In a spit of rage, he yanked Y/N's arm back, causing her to let go of the boy against her will.

Ben Parks had lost his daughter when she was five years old. She was kidnapped and a ransom was required. Unfortunately, the girl was already dead by the time she was found. He was never the same after this. His marriage broke down and his behaviour changed completely.

That was the stressor.

“Go!” She said to him. His big amber eyes watched her horrified. But, JJ picked him up and rushed him behind her.

The unsub laughed in mockery. Y/N flinched at the close sound to her ear. “You know... When your mother told me about you I'd never guess you would become a cop. That fragile little girl...” She almost vomited when he sniffed on her neck. That was disgusting.

And to think her mother married someone like that. Had a kid too. That poor boy. She saw it in his eyes when he hesitated to go that he was way different than his parents.

“Fragile?” She whispers back, taunting him.

The issue with reckless people was that they never thought about the consequences their actions would bring.

Now, Y/N couldn't care less.

“Guys, it's cracking.” Emily croaks out. JJ follows her eyes and immediately understands. The ice had cracks written in its surface like a delicate drawing. One wrong step, and everything would swim in freezing water.

“We have to take her out of there.” Spencer is stopped by Derek, that pushes him back “Derek!”

“You stay here.”

“Ben!” Rossi yells, also realizing what was happening. “Let her go, so we can talk.”

“The only thing I'm going to be letting go is a bullet through her pretty little brain, Agent Rossi.” Ben replied calmly. It was terrifying to watch someone change behaviour so fast. In less than three minutes the guy would me fuming, and then, he would laugh and calm down instantly.

“You're a coward.” Y/N blurts out.

There's a pause.

“Excuse me?”

“You-are-a-coward.” She repeats, pausing in between every word.

“You've reached your limit, bitch.”

His finger press begin to press against the trigger, but in a millisecond, Y/N manages to step on the ground with as much force as she can get. Hitting his stomach with her elbow and punching his jaw as she throws herself away.

The last thing she hears is her name being called, and then, she feels the ice break.

➶ ➷

sources I used:

- criminal minds (obviously)

- these three sites; 1 2 3

#criminal minds #spencer reid #BAU × reader #platonic #angst #tw: mentions of trauma #derek morgan #jennifer jareau #emily prentiss #penelope garcia #aaron hotchner #david rossi

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cacoetheswriting · 3 years

Text

a promise of forever

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader warnings: really just a big ball of fluff, a very brief mention of spencer's time in prison word count: 1.8k prompt: "i'm not very good with words..." summary: a rather unusual and a slightly delayed exchange of vows.

a/n: this is a my one shot submission for @ellesgreenaway 1k milestone celebration! india, a huge huge congratulations to you again 🎉 you're so incredibly talented and you deserve every single one of those follower, if not a million more! 🥳🧡 now, this is my first fic in a couple of weeks, and i think it's quite fitting that i wrote this instead of working on my own vows oops

A faint shine coming from the side lamp hit against the gold band on your finger, the glimmer instantly catching your eye. The book you were reading, was now closed in your lap and your gaze travelled to the ring, a smile creeping up on your features.

The item, however simple and dainty, carried with it so much meaning. Not only was it a symbol of undying everlasting love, showcasing to the world you were married to the person of your dreams. It was also a constant reminder of what you and Spencer overcame to get here. How far the two of you have come.

To say the last year was tough would be an understatement.

Spencer wasn’t the same after his release from prison. Often distant and quite reserved. His true self hidden from the rest of the world, afraid of getting so deeply hurt again. You of course didn’t put any blame on him for acting differently or resent him for it. What he went through was challenging enough, and you loved him more with each day regardless because he was still Spencer. Your Spencer.

And he adored your patience and your understanding. He adored the kindness you showed him while he regained control over his life. Simply, he adored you and he counted his blessings every day he spent with you.

One faithfull Saturday morning, Spencer asked you to marry him.

Completely out of the blue, while you were tangled together in the cotton bedsheets with morning breath and ruffled hair. He said he didn’t want to wait any longer because if his time in prison taught him anything, it would be not to waste moments with the people you cared about the most.

You cried. Tears of happiness, pure unfiltered joy.

Later, the very same day, the two of you stopped by a jeweler to invest in simple yellow-gold wedding bands before heading hand in hand to the court house. No muss, no fuss. No guests, no flowers, no cake, no vows. Nothing but unconditional love and a large order of chocolate chip pancakes afterwards, to celebrate.

It was the perfect day and you wouldn’t do it any differently.

You didn’t need anything else, neither did he. The memory along with the wedding ring was a promise in itself. A lifetime together. A lifetime of happiness. However, as you watched the band glisten on your finger, you couldn’t help but wonder what else Spencer would have promised you in his vows if he ever got a chance to say them.

And that’s how the brunette doctor found you - lost too deep in thought, attention solely focused on your wedding ring.

You, of course, didn’t hear him come in.

Spencer smiled to himself, quietly closing the door behind him so as not to startle you. He placed his bag down before ambling towards the back of the couch. His hands landed on your shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze to grab your attention, and you tilted your head up to look at him.

“Hi, my love.”

“Hello, beautiful.” Spencer bent over slightly, his lips catching yours in a tender welcoming kiss. “Let me go wash up quickly and you can tell me all about your day,” he added and you nodded, following him with your eyes until he disappeared into the bedroom.

While he cleaned himself up after an undeniably hectic workday, you sprung up on your feet and headed to the kitchen to cook up a late dinner for the two of you.

Spencer rejoined you shortly and immediately began playing sous chef, assisting you with preparing the meal. While the two of you worked over the various pots and pans, you exchanged with one another stories of how your days went. Listening attentively, joking together. Then you ate together before reconvening back to the couch.

A typical, and honestly, an ideal evening together when he wasn’t travelling.

“What were you thinking about earlier, when I got home?” Spencer asked, making himself comfortable next to you. You draped your legs over his lap with ease and his hands instantly made home on your thigh.

“Do you ever wonder what I would say to you in my vows if our wedding day looked any different?” you asked straight out, because there was no secrets between the two of you.

Spencer pondered the question for a moment before shaking his head. “No,” he answered honestly, “Do you?”

You briefly chewed on the inside of your cheek. “Sometimes,” you confessed, a hint of guilt and hesitance detectable in the tone of your voice.

He hummed softly at your response and proceeded to place a tender kiss on your temple. “I could tell you,” he murmured into your hair before pulling away, “If you’d like that is.”

His eyes found yours and a timid smile circled your lips at his offer.

“You don’t have to, Spence, I’m honestly happy not knowing and letting my imagination run free. Plus, I wouldn’t want to put you on the spot—”

“Y/N,” he politely cut in, “I’ve known what I would say to you in my vows ever since our first date.”

The sentence caused you to playfully roll your eyes, as the butterflies in your stomach fluttered free. “Hmm…” you smacked your lips together, “I don’t think I believe you,” you teased him with a chuckle.

Spencer pressed his tongue to his lips as he smirked at your comment. He took your innocent joke as a sort of challenge however, because in one swift motion, before you got a chance to react or say anything else, he pulled you in closer by your legs before taking your hands in his and giving them a gentle squeeze.

“I can recite the entirety of the English dictionary off by heart, but ironically I'm not very good with words—” Spencer began, his hazel gaze locking with yours, “—because when I think how to express how I truly feel about you, and how incredibly lucky I am to have you by my side, my mind goes completely blank and my eidetic memory is no longer of use.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle lightly, and you could just imagine the whole crowd laughing because whether Spencer liked to admit it or not, he was incredibly funny without even trying.

“However, as I sit here before you tonight, I will give my all to make the most sincere promise one heart can make to another. Y/N, I have waited a long time for you, and I promise from this day on until forever to be your constant love, your shoulder to cry on, your partner for life. I vow to give you the best of myself and not ask for anything in return. I vow to respect you. Respect your desires, your interests and needs.”

You could feel your eyes gloss over, as Spencer inhaled before continuing, "I promise to keep myself open to you and share with you my deepest feelings, thoughts, and dreams. I promise to continuously surprise you in hopes of bringing you joy and seeing you smile, because you have the most beautiful smile.”

Spencer gently rubbed circles into your hand with his thumb as he spoke, and the amiable loving look in his eyes made you think he didn’t really have these vows prepared beforehand, like he said he did.

He was speaking purely from the heart.

“I promise to love you through thick and thin. The good times and the bad. In sickness and in health. I promise to love you with every fibre of my being, until the end of time.” He paused, by that point salty wet droplets were slowly trailing down your jawline.

Spencer continued, “Now, I have been called many things in my life and gone by many different titles. From this day on however, the most important title I’ll hold is husband. Your husband.”

Silence filled the room once he concluded. A benevolent and earnest silence.

Nothing could have prepared you for what he said, and how his words would make you feel. How you thought it wasn’t possible to love him anymore than you already did, yet here the two of you sat and your heart swelled inside of your chest.

Spencer’s hand travelled to your cheek. He cupped it gently, wiping away any lone tears that escaped.

“You know—” you murmured, leaning into his touch and placing a kiss on the palm of his hand, “— for someone who claims they’re not good with words, you just strummed all the right heartstrings. I therefore dumb thee— a liar...”

The brunette doctor let out a soft chuckle at your comment and then proceeded to scoop you into his lap, completely effortlessly. He held you close by the waist while your fingers played with his brunette curls.

“And it’s a good thing you have an eidetic memory, my love, because I will ask you to recite those promises to me over and over and oveerrr again,” you added and Spencer threw his head back in a smooth laugh.

“How about I type them up and we can frame them instead?” he suggested, arching a brow. You licked your lips, considering the question for a moment, however before you got a chance to reply, Spencer added, “It would however, be nice to have both of our vows up...”

It was your turn to laugh, “I have nothing prepared, Spence. Not to mention, yours were so heartfelt and honest, I don’t think I can compete.”

The smile on Spencer’s face grew a little wider and he leaned in to peck your lips, “Say whatever that comes to mind, beautiful.”

“You’re not going to let this go now, are you?” you enquired and Spencer shook his head in response, a goofy grin plastered across his features.

“I really have my mind set on those frames now. Maybe we can hang them over our bed, or maybe we can dedicate a shelf to them in the bookcase.”

You raised a brow, “You’d give those frames a whole shelf?”

He nodded, “A whole shelf.”

The thought of your promises to one another typed up and on view for everyone that came to visit the apartment made you smile.

Glancing briefly at your wedding ring, looped among Spencer’s brunette curls, you nervously chewed on the inside of your cheek before glancing back into his hazel eyes. “I’m not very good with words—” you began with a modest tese, “—Therefore, I hope you don’t mind that I’m going to borrow someone else's.”

You paused, letting out a delicate shaky breath. “Atticus wrote, ‘I lost my way all the way to you and in you I found my way’. You are my everything, Dr. Spencer Reid. Thank you for choosing me, for loving me, for making me feel safe, for making me laugh, and for making my life a million times richer.”

Spencer’s lips found yours the second you finished, wrapping them in a gentle yet passionate kiss. A desirable sensation instantly spread through you, because when he kissed you like this, it was as if he was kissing you for the very first time.

“I love you,” Spencer whispered after slowly pulling away, pressing his forehead against yours.

“I love you too,” you expressed with a genuine smile.

masterlist

#ellesgreenawaybookclub #eek i hope you like this india #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x oc #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid one shot #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fanfiction

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letarasstuff · 3 years

Text

You are not gonna meet them

(A/N): This was requested by an anon. I hope you all enjoy it :)

Summary: How will their beloved intern react, when the BAU is able to profile that she is seeing someone?

Warnings: One swear word (for the sake of a vine reference)

Wordcount: 1.2k

✨Masterlist✨

__________________________________

“What is their name?” Confused (Y/N) takes her eyes off the cup of her favorite hot beverage. To make sure Derek really speaks to her, she turns around in the breakroom. It’s only the two of them. “Whose name? I’m (Y/N), but Derek I work here for two months already. Aren’t you a little too young to suffer from Alzheimer’s yet?”

He laughs into his own cup before taking a sip. “You are seeing someone. Don’t try to hide that from a bunch of profilers, there is no use in that.”

Being the ever stoic and mature teenager, she sticks her tongue out. “I’m not hiding anything. I’m the CEO of being an open book. But spill your tea about your deductions, Sherlock.”

“As you wish, Watson. You are wearing tinted lip balm instead of your usual clear lip balm. I saw you reapplying it after you dropped off some files in Hotch’s office. Also you have a new hairstyle, which looks quite nice on you. In addition to that you wear a bottom up and I saw you wearing one only once and that was when you had to dress up for an undercover thing. Therefore I come to the conclusion that this is your definition of dressing up and I see no reason for it except you want to impress someone and I know for a fact that everybody in this building is too old for you. So, what’s their name?”

“Whatever”, (Y/N) breathes under her breath and makes an effort to escape this interrogation. But Spencer, who also decided it’s time for the trillions refill of his cup of sugar with a drop of coffee, stands in the doorway. “Spencer, can you please step aside? I have work to do”, she asks him sighing. But the genius doesn’t bulge.

(Y/N) looks dumbfounded at her coworker and friend. “I- that was pretty good. But you haven’t considered that I may have a meeting with our dear Section Chief regarding my future in the FBI.” At the end she smiles, thinking she has won this round. “I did”, Morgan answers, wiping the grin from her face, “ and I know again for a fact that this meeting is next week, because Hotch is seeing her today to talk about that subject. So, what are they like?”

“Oh, does our favorite intern have a love interest? (Y/N), why didn’t you tell me anything?” Emily asks as she enters the breakroom. “No, I don-” “Princess, I told you it isn’t possible to lie to us. We are basically human lie detectors.”

“I heard tea and I want you to spill it.” He says, proud to put the phrase she taught him a while ago in the right context. “There is not tea, just a lame glass of water”, (Y/N) responds and squeezes past him. The three profilers look at each other in confusion. Attracted by her confounding statement, they follow her to her desk.

“Why are you stalking the child?” Rossi asks with Hotch hot on his heels. “(Y/N) is seeing someone, but isn’t willing to tell us anything about them. Now we try to pry every bit of information from her”, Spencer explains.

The talked about subject sits at her desk, acting like nothing just occurred while going through some reports. “Are you talking about her crush?” JJ joins the group observation. Everybody looks at her in shock. “What do you know about this?” Derek may be a bit overprotective over his favorite princess.

“Probably not more than you. I just saw her smiling down at her phone and I didn’t spot a cute dog or cat picture so I figured it has to be an important someone”, JJ explains whilst shrugging her shoulders.

“I don’t like this guessing. Why don’t we just ask her?” Rossi is up and goes to (Y/N), the calls of his team members falling on deaf ears.

As the teenager hears the oncoming footsteps, she lifts her head and spies the older Italian. “Not you, too.” A groan leaves her lips while rubbing her forehead in distress. “Bambi, think of it as that: The earlier you confess to your lies, the earlier your conscience is lifted. So tell us about them, will you?”

The rest of the team inches closer to the duo, while (Y/N) contemplates her choices. “Well that is interesting. But what’s also interesting is: I don’t give a shit” Confused by her unusual speech pattern, Rossi throws a pointy glance towards her.

“Fine”, she once again sighs, knowing there is no other way to escape this situation. Not even the teenager’s sarcasm or pop culture can help her anymore.

Eagerly the team crowds around her desk, even Hotch is ready to get some good tea served. “I met them on the bus. Since I started here we rode the same bus every morning and afternoon. Their hair was the first thing I noticed about them. After a month I worked up the courage to talk to them.”

“And?” Morgan asks as (Y/N) doesn’t continue for several minutes. “I chickened out. No cap. But they chatted me up the next day and we are texting each other for several weeks now and we maybe have kind of our first date tomorrow and see each other for the last time today before the date and I want to leave a lasting impression maybe?” At the end she turns red. Like legit red, with tomato ears and stuff.

A loud squeal is heard. “OMG (Y/N) THIS IS SO CUTE I LITERALLY AM DEAD! OUR BABY IS FEELING LOOOOOVE! CLAP THOSE CHEEKS!” Although it seems impossible, she turns even redder at Penelope’s outburst.

“Ok, princess. I’m happy for you, but we need to meet them before you go with them anywhere. How old are they? What do they do for a living? What is their name? Garcia needs to make a background check”, Derek swivels her chair in his direction, looking the girl straight in the eye to make sure he is dead serious.

“Do they read? Emilia Clarke once said to never trust anybody, whose TV is bigger than their bookshelf, and I recommend you to follow that advice”, Spencer adds. “Can we help get you ready? I wanted to do a makeover for you for ages already”, Penelope throws in. JJ and Emily nod at that, showing that they too want to participate in this.

“Are you sure they are not basic, Bambi?” “Oh, Rossi. Never say that again. You are not allowed to talk like ever. Yes, I’m sure they got a cake and an even bigger heart. Before you also say anything complete out of line, Hotch: You all aren’t allowed to see them before I’m completely sure. Period. No complains.”

It’s safe to say that Aaron just needs to flash his doe eyes to convince (Y/N) that they indeed will meet their date before they go out together. I mean, who is better at delivering The Talk to a date than a bunch of (intimidating) profilers and a (even more intimidating) tech goddess?

Taglist:

All works:

@agentshortstacc

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl

#bau x reader #bau x teen!reader #spencer reid x teen!reader #emily prentiss x teen!reader #jennifer jareau x teen!reader #david rossi x teen!reader #aaron hotch x teen!reader #penelope garcia x teen!reader #derek morgan x teen!reader #Criminal Minds #criminal minds fanfiction

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celebrities-imagines · 3 years

Note

Could we get a emily prentiss x reader were the reader tells emily SHES pregnat and emily Is all happy

A Not So Secret, Secret

Thanks for the request, sorry it took so long. Hope you enjoy!

Pairing: Emily Prentiss x fem reader

Summary: Emily didn’t think she could be happier after the two of you married, but somehow it’s possible after hearing about the new addition to the family.

Warnings: Pregnancy, a bit of angst at first, mentions of miscarriage, and like one or two swear words.

Words: 1.9k

It was supposed to be your day off, just you and Emily. One day as a normal married couple. Not two FBI profiles who barely had a social life.

You couldn't help but groan as Emily stirred beside you, tangling her body further with yours. You kissed her shoulder whispering a "sorry" on her skin before untangling yourself.

There was no way out of it, so you picked up the phone and cursed everything when Hotch's voice came through.

The two of you couldn't hide your disappointment as you grabbed your go-bags and headed over to work.

You were the last two to arrive.

Hotch briefed you all when you got on the plane, mentioning Texas and 5 bodies, but that's all you caught. You could hardly hear over the sound of your stomach beginning to reject the Chinese you eat for dinner last night.

———————————————————————

Taking a deep breath you closed your eyes, praying you could keep the food down. If you couldn't, you'd cause a scene. Even if Emily was the only one who didn't know.

You could feel her eyes on you, so you gave a small smile. Hopefully, you just seemed tired. It was 7 am after all.

She gave your hand a small squeeze.

Images of a month ago played in your mind.

After missing your period again, you had to face the hunch you'd had for a few weeks now. You took the test. You were more than surprised to see it was positive.

How could you not be surprised?

Weeks before that you'd gone to a fertility doctor and decided on a sperm donor. Emily was on a case and couldn't come, but had confided in you before she left she'd rather you carry the baby, and you happily agreed.

Unfortunately, at the doctor's they informed you that your fertility was lower than average. Therefore, you were more at risk for miscarriages and less likely to conceive.

The doctor made it clear that it still wasn't impossible to have kids, just more difficult.

You were extremely discouraged by the news, worried you were ruining your future with Emily.

They told you not to get discouraged, it rarely happened the first time for anyone anyway, and there was still a chance you could get pregnant.

You went home that day, defeated, feeling hopeless and lonely, but you didn't tell Emily about your low fertility, afraid you'd upset her.

But nowhere you were. A positive pregnancy test in hand. You couldn't wrap your head around how it was possible.

Excitement bubbled in your chest at the thought of telling Emily the news. But with the doctor's words echoing in your head, more likely to miscarry, your excitement quickly disappeared.

You knew Emily would be thrilled. She had told you on more than one occasion how excited she was to start a family.

Still, the fear of losing this child and disappointing Emily was so deep you just couldn't tell her.

Not then at least.

Your eyes shot open. The churning of your stomach only seemed to worsen as you got higher in the air.

You swallowed hard, trying to focus on Rossi's story, but you only caught bits and pieces. Your spotty vision could make out smiles, so you smiled too.

You just hoped your face wasn't as pale as it felt. Convincing a plane of profilers you were fine wasn't easy, and the look JJ shot you every few seconds was her way of asking, "how are you feeling?" Which you knew she knew the answer to.

She had been the only person you'd confided in, considering she had gone through it all before.

You had a sneaking suspicion they all knew though. Spencer had started giving random pregnancy facts, which earned him a death glare every time. Derek started calling you mama more, with too much emphasis on the word. Hotch gave you a meaningful look every time you rushed past him to the bathroom in the early morning, and you weren't entirely convinced Rossi didn't know before you, somehow. The only other person besides Emily who didn't know was Penelope, which you were sure of. If Penelope knew then the whole FBI would know.

The smell of bacon hit your nose causing your stomach to somersault. You glared at Derek, who was just about to take a bite of his bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit, but one look at you and he decided against it, putting it away.

You swallowed hard again, trying to push back the vomit creeping up your throat.

"You okay (Y/n)? You look a little pale." Emily whispered in your ear, forcing you to stop concentrating on not puking.

You gave a weak smile, nodding your head.

"I don't believe you." Her eyebrows had creased together.

"Em, I'm-" Talking had been a big mistake.

You jumped up from the seat. All eyes were on you, 5 looks of pity, and one of concern, but you didn't care. You knew there was no chance of you pushing the vomit down.

Your shaky legs bolted to the bathroom, barely closing the door before you spilled your guts. It was a relief to finally get it all out.

You slumped against the toilet. Any other time you would've been grossed out by your face touching the toilet seat, but it was cooling your sweaty face.

You didn't realize you were crying at first. Not until you lifted your heavy head off the toilet seat and felt the cool drops of water slipping down your face.

What was wrong with you?

You were pregnant your first time trying; after being told you'd have trouble, living the dreams of thousands of women in the same situation.

Why weren't you glowing? Why couldn't you just tell Emily, she'd be ecstatic?

"(Y/n), sweetheart," you jumped at the sound of Emily's voice.

Didn't you lock that door? How long had she been standing there?

"Hey Em," you gave a half-hearted smile, but it was pointless. You hadn't bothered to wipe the tears.

She closed the door behind her. It locked for real this time with a click.

The small bathroom left little room for the two of you, and when Emily slid down beside you your knees knocked together.

"You're scaring me (Y/n)," she placed a soft kiss on your head. "All of the throwing up, and mood swings. You've been so antsy recently.

So she had noticed. "I'm sorry," you said, followed by more tears. "I promise I'm not sick or anything."

"I know."

"So why are you scared." You fidgeted with your fingers, nervous about the direction of this conversation.

"Because my wife has been pregnant for a month and is too afraid to tell me. And I can't for the life of me figure out why she'd keep that from me."

Your head whipped towards hers so fast you almost smashed it right into her forehead. "Y-you knew the whole time," you gulped.

"Of course I did!" She exclaimed. "First of all I'm a profiler it's my job to notice. Second of all, you're my wife, I love you. It's my job to notice.

Your cheeks flushed crimson. The whole time you thought you were fooling her, you were just fooling yourself.

"So...do you care to explain why you didn't tell me. Did you not want to tell me," her voice cracked, but she cleared her throat quickly to cover it.

You guiltily chewed on your lip. Emily had known for a month and probably wondered every day why her wife couldn't tell her such exciting news.

"No, no of course not," you squeaked.

"(Y/n), angel, please. What is it? Why couldn't you tell me?"

You took a deep breath. "When I went to the fertility clinic the doctor told me my fertility was a little below average. There's a chance I could have a miscarriage," you sobbed.

Emily turned her body so the two of you were somehow closer. "Shhh, it's okay. You're okay," she said, pressing you to her body.

"I'm sorry. I want this for us. I want to be happy, but I'm just so scared I'll mess this up."

"Look at me (Y/n). You're not going to mess anything up. Women miscarry all the time. For some awful reason, it's part of life. It's nobody's fault."

Emily wiped a tear off your cheek. You didn't say anything, just watched her.

"Don't profile me," a crooked smile found her lips.

You smiled back. "I wasn't."

"Listen, I know you're scared. I am too, but we have to take it a day at a time. Right now there's a miracle growing inside you. Our miracle." Her eyes flicked to your stomach, and for the first time since you found out, you were pregnant excitement bubbled in your chest again. "If we worry about the what if's we won't have time to focus on the what is." This time she placed her hand on your flat stomach.

You smiled, wide.

"See. There's already a motherly glow about you."

The more Emily said the more the worry began to fade, excitement replacing it.

You were gonna start a family.

"Em."

"Yeah."

"I have to tell you something."

"Yeah."

"I'm pregnant, it's yours." She nudged you playful, even she had a motherly glow about her right now.

"What! You're just telling me now," she teased.

You smiled.

"I'm truly sorry I didn't tell you sooner," you mumbled, placing your hand over Emily's, which was still on your stomach.

"Well, I know now, and you've officially made me the happiest woman alive." She placed a sweet kiss on your lips. "Thank you (Y/n)."

"We're going to be parents!"

"The best parents!" Emily added. "We are, aren't we."

"Now come on, they'll think we've fallen into the toilet by this time."

You laughed. "We can't have that."

Emily stood up, offering her hand, which you took happily.

She placed one last kiss on your lips, then grabbed your hand before you open the door. You always stayed professional at work.

When you opened the door Derek almost fell on top of you. "Hey Mamas," he said, a shit-eating grin taking over his face.

"We're you guys spying?" You asked.

Emily chuckled, squeezed your hand, and headed back to her seat.

Nobody answered.

Spencer was looking anywhere but you, JJ was pretending to get a bag of Cheetos, and Rossi and Derek were smiling shamelessly.

"At least Hotch isn't a snoop," you noted. Your boss was still in his chair doing paperwork.

You shoved Derek playfully and headed back to your seat next to Emily. She automatically reached for your hand.

"Actually, Spencer objected, Hotch listened at the door with us for 5 min and 23 seconds before saying, 'We shouldn't be listening to this."

Hotch didn't even look up from his paperwork, but a rare smile was playing at his lips. "We shouldn't have been. But congratulations you two."

"Thank you!" You and Emily said in unison.

It wasn't brought up the rest of the flight but you could feel the air of excitement and relief nonetheless.

The rest of the flight was filled with little conversation and file reviewing.

Every so often you'd look over at Emily, who was looking out the window, a big grin plastered on her face, her hand on your stomach.

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x-reader-theater · 3 years

Note

Hi!! Loved the last request I did, absolutely adorable!

I wondered if you could do a spencer x reader where the reader is a BAU agent and genderqueer (he/they), they’re also asexual and (in my opinion) Reid is on the asexual spectrum. And when the team finds out about their relationship they tease about certain suggestive things. But both Reid and the reader tells them they don’t have any interest in sex. Therefore the team wonders (not in any way offensively) about their relationship since it’s not the norm (due to the lack of sex) but they just like cuddling while Reid reads books aloud, watch old movies or smth similar. I’m sorry if it’s too vague I just can’t find any fics that relate to me :/

I made the reader SUPER sex averse, where they don't like to read/watch sex of any kind, and Spencer is sex neutral but prefers not to have sex. Also the BAU in this is unintentionally trans/homophobic because they literally just don't know better and need to be put in their place. Also, Anti-JJ because she's a PTA mom and totally homophobic in the show lollllllll also, love my ace fans! Y'all are amazing! Edited by @mystic-writes

Gif by @captainchilly

You smile as you hug your boyfriend when he comes home, kissing his cheek, before moving away so he can take off his coat and scarf and undo his shoes. He stands back up and you kiss him on the lips, but don't do anything else, and grab his hand, pulling him into the living room.

He sits down in his normal spot and you cuddle up next to him, laying your head on his chest as he wraps his arm around you. He pulls you close as you kiss his pectoral.

"How was your day?" you ask, though you don't look up at him. You just close your eyes and enjoy his company.

He shrugs underneath you. "Fine. Normal. Lots of paperwork," he says, clipped, and you frown. There's obviously something more going on. You place a hand on his thigh and squeeze, and he sighs. "The team wants to meet you." You raise an eyebrow, but let him continue. "They want to meet the woman who 'Took my virginity'," Spencer says in quotes, and you frown deeply.

"Woman? Virginity?" you ask, annoyance and sadness in your voice and on your features.

Spencer sighs. "I try and tell them you're not a woman, you're gender queer, and don't even use She/Her pronouns, but they won't listen. And they still see me as the virginal kid that joined them four years ago…"

"Have you told them you're asexual?" you ask.

He shakes his head and you look up at him to see him blushing. "Uh, no. I-I wanted to do that with you there. I think they'll listen if they hear it from both, of us."

You nod. "Okay. We can meet them. But you'd better have them straighten out my pronouns before we go. I know they're your family and I wouldn't keep them from you, but if they can't understand who I am, I will not see them until they do."

Spencer nods and kisses your forehead. "I wouldn't expect anything less."

–

You walk into the Italian restaurant holding Spencer's hand. He squeezes it, and you smile at him, before the two of you walk over to the large table filled with the BAU. Spencer walks over and everyone calls out to him, saying hello, and he says hi back, before introducing you.

"This is my partner. [Y/N]," he says, and you smile and wave. No one says hello. A blonde woman in a sparkly pink dress with lots of makeup on and berets in her hair waves and smiles at you, but she's the only one. The rest just stare.

You clear your throat and Spencer pulls out your chair for you, before sliding into his own, and you sit down, picking up your menu so you have something to do with your hands.

"So," the kind woman from before asks, her overly large bangles on her wrists clacking loudly. Even in the full restaurant. "You're Spencer's partner? It's so good to meet you!"

You smile at her. "Thank you. It's nice to meet you all too."

"You're not a girl," one of the women says. She's also blonde, and the way she says it makes your blood chill.

You respond, calmly, "No. I'm genderqueer. I use He/Him and They/Them pronouns."

"Like, one or the other, or both?" one of the men asks. He's bald with darker skin than the rest, but he's still fairly light.

"Both, please," you say, smiling, and he smiles back.

"Okay," a raven haired woman says suddenly, the last woman at the table. "I have to ask. Have you taken his virginity?"

Your face drops, and Spencer squeezes your hand. You take a deep breath before saying, "No. Because although we have been together for three years, we have never, and will never, have sex."

Almost everyone at the table frowns. "No sex?" the bald man asks. "How can you not have sex? Sex is great!"

"Whenever we watch a movie or read a book or something, I always feel incredibly uncomfortable," you say, looking over at Spencer, who smiles at you.

"What about you, kid? Don't you like sex? Can you just not have sex?" an older, Italian man with salt and pepper hair asks.

Spencer sighs. "I don't like sex either. Have you ever thought of that?"

The table goes silent, and you make eye contact with the nice blonde woman, who smiles at you. You smile back at her.

"You guys do know that relationships don't have to be sexual, right?" she asks, and they look over at her. "Just because yours does, doesn't mean theirs has to. Every relationship is different and if they don't have sex, that's for them."

You smile at her, grateful. The final man, older, but not as old as the Italian, with dark hair and eyes, asks, "What do you do instead?"

You shrug. "Cuddling. Kissing is still nice."

"Oh!" Spencer exclaims, turning towards you. "We watched all of season four of Deep Space Nine last weekend!"

"Yes! That was fun!" you say, with a laugh. "Remember when I forgot a stupid little jump scare and sent popcorn flying everywhere!"

You and Spencer start laughing, and everyone except the unhappy blonde woman smiles. The kind blonde leans in and says, "If you're happy, we're happy."

You and Spencer grin.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x male reader #spencer reid #criminal minds reader insert #criminal minds x y/n #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds #my writing #my work

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mercy-burning · 3 years

Text

Losing You Twice / 1: If I Hated You

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: It’s Valentine’s Day weekend, and it turns out Y/N isn’t the only one struggling with the breakup. Category: Smut (18+), Angst Content Warnings: Language, drinking/getting drunk, penetrative/unprotected sex (If I missed anything, please let me know!) Word Count: 5,538

SERIES MASTERLIST | MASTERLIST

“My bedtime is the darkest, that’s when I’m brokenhearted. The nighttime is the hardest. It’d be easy, if I hated you.” —FLETCHER, If I Hated You

FEBRUARY 13th

It was Valentine's Day weekend, which sucked this time around. Every year for the past three years Y/N looked forward to Valentine's Day, but that was when she actually had someone to spend it with.

Well, someone she actually cared about, anyway... Whether or not Spencer actually knew it, she did really care about him. She was just stupid and didn't say it when he needed to hear it the most.

And now Valentine's Day was on Saturday and Y/N was still without him. Not alone, but still without the man who'd spent the significant holiday with her for the past three years. Memories of their dates and 'afterparties' flooded through her mind as she got ready for work like a montage, a cheesy love-song playlist she'd found on Spotify acting as the soundtrack.

Eventually she sighed and turned it off, opting for something more loud and obnoxious, and therefore not tainted by Spencer's memory. She applied what was left of her makeup and added a pair of earrings before turning the music off altogether and shoving her phone in her bag alongside her keys and other necessities.

Even though she wasn't emotionally prepared for all the cheesy Valentine's things she'd see and hear and experience throughout the weekend, it was still kind of nice to see that things in the bank never changed during the holidays— Everything in her life was so severely different at the moment, that if Marjorie had somehow decided to throw out all her elaborate decorations for each holiday, no matter how small, Y/N would have thought the world was truly ending.

Speaking of, she was met with Marjorie's brighter-than-the-sun smile almost immediately once she set her things in the breakroom.

"How's my little macaron this morning?" she chirped, Y/N chuckling slightly at the nickname— She brought macarons from the bakery down the street on her first birthday she spent at the bank, and ever since then, the older woman had adorned her with the namesake.

"She's alright, Marj... Better now that she's seen you..."

"That boy still on your mind, hon?"

Obviously Marjorie's intentions were good, but Y/N couldn't stand to think about the situation at all, least of all at work... So, setting her jacket on the rack, turned away so that her coworker wouldn't see the visible discomfort on her face, Y/N squeezed her eyes shut and cleared her throat. "So, what are your plans with Geno tomorrow night? Anything special?"

There was a brief pause before Marjorie cleared her throat as well. "Nothing short of our usual dinner plans, my dear. He's been so caught up with work at the Mill lately, I think we're just going to spend the night relaxing."

"Hm," Y/N said shortly, finally turning around and giving her the best smile she could. "Maybe I should take a page from your book and stay in..."

"You weren't going to?"

"No... Britt's been nagging me about getting out there so we're going out tomorrow night. We both haven't been single in a long time, so... Should be fun."

Marjorie didn't look convinced. Either way, she nodded with a smile and walked over to Y/N with something glittery and bright red in her hand— A cheap beaded necklace to clip her nametag onto. She draped it over Y/N's neck and patted her shoulders. "Well, I want you to have fun. And remember that you still have to come to work on Monday. Whatever shenanigans you get into should be reserved for Saturday night only so you can rest properly on Sunday, got it?"

Y/N laughed, thankful for the playful tone in Marjorie's voice. "Yes, Ma'am."

"Oh, I joke, I joke," the older woman said with a bright laugh, turning to walk out of the break room. "A little..."

The smile on Y/N's face only really lasted until after Marjorie was out of sight, then she went into her bag and clipped her nametag onto the red beaded necklace with a sigh.

Was she excited to have a good night out with Britt? Of course. Hell, had it been literally any other day of the year, she would have been practically bouncing off the walls with excitement at the idea of going out to a bar, letting men hit on her until she finally let one of them take her back to his place for the night.

But it just felt like it was too soon.

Either way, she was glad that she'd get to see Britt again, after she'd been on vacation for Christmas and New Year's to see her family and only got back a few weeks ago. She'd seen her on Facetime of course, and they met up once for coffee right after Britt got back from her trip, but a well-needed night out and quality time getting ready together was something that had been missing from their friendship for almost a year.

Y/N knew Britt would most likely spend her time trying to hook them up with end-of-the-night dates, but maybe it wouldn't be so bad...

Even still, sleeping alone the night before was probably one of the worst spells of loneliness she'd ever had. It was normal to be sad spending the first Valentine's Day in years away from a significant other, but knowing how things ended between them—bitter and stained with words left unsaid—this time was just... cold.

And that was putting it lightly.

Y/N laid in bed that night, her eyes wide open and staring at the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars that adorned the ceiling. They used to give her comfort, but now they just reminded her of all the nights she'd spend with Spencer, listening to him tell stories about the constellations. They were some of the most peaceful memories she had.

And now those, too—those stars that had grounded her pretty much all her life and reminded her of the better days—were tainted by her inability to properly communicate.

She almost thought about taking them down.

But if she was really going to get over him this time, for good, then she'd have to learn to make new memories with the stars. Even if it was painful. Even if replacing those memories and writing new ones over them absolutely tore her soul to pieces.

And, as if that pain wasn't enough, that night Y/N dreamt of him, making love to her amongst the stars in every galaxy, only to wake up the next morning cold and alone.

FEBRUARY 14th

She promptly decided that she hated his guts.

It was Valentine's Day, Y/N was respectfully buzzed, and courtesy of two beers and four shots of tequila, she'd just deleted Spencer's number from her phone.

"I'm done," she said, waving a hand at Britt and shoving her phone in her purse. "He doesn't deserve my wallowing."

"Yeah!"

Britt was significantly the more drunk of the two, resulting in a fit of giggles after gaining some stares from the people around them at her sudden outburst.

Y/N smiled, finishing off another shot and shaking her head. "We need more!"

"More shots!" Britt hurried off to grab them, leaving her friend behind with a half-drunken smile that also only felt half-genuine.

Sure, she decided she hated Spencer's guts, but her heart didn't exactly agree well with that sentiment. Even after deleting his number from her phone, after downing all that alcohol, her heart still ached.

Y/N knew deep down that getting over him was going to take some time. A lot of time... But maybe one night of distraction would help.

So the shots kept coming, and by the end of the night, Y/N was just about at her limit.

Which was near black-out drunk. And when you're that drunk you tend to make decisions you wouldn't soberly condone.

Britt got into a cab, and she begged Y/N to come with her, but she assured her friend that she had someone to come pick her up. Eventually the cab driver got tired of their inability to decide, and when Y/N told him to go, he did, leaving her alone on the side of the street at 1am.

Unfortunately, it was incredibly cold, and she didn't really have anyone to come pick her up. And that's where the bad decisions started.

Y/N pulled her phone out, a long sigh escaping her as she dialed the number by heart.

Would he even pick up? He hadn't answered any of her calls or texts before, so why would it have been any different now? Not to mention it was Valentine's Day Weekend. With her luck, he was probably in bed with someone else. Someone who wasn't her. As she listened to the dial tone repeating in her ear, images of him wrapped up with somebody else—sleeping in the bed she'd slept in many times before—clouded her drunken brain and made her more angry than anything.

Her gut twisted, and she almost hung up.

But then the low buzz of the dial tone abruptly stopped and in its place came his voice.

"Y/N?"

Her name on his lips, even through the phone, was grounding, the anger in her system melting away and revealing a coat of drunken relief.

"Spencer! You answered!"

"Yeah... Are you— Is everything okay?"

"Pff, yeah, 'm-fine. Just really fucking cold."

"You're not outside, are you?"

"Duh, I'm outside... I wouldn't be cold in-side... Besides, I didn't call t'alk bout the weather, I need you t'come pick me up."

There was a brief pause, and for a moment Y/N didn't think he was going to say anything she wanted to hear. She swayed on the sidewalk, shivering and praying that he would throw her a bone, even if she'd regret it all in the morning.

"Where are you?" he said finally, and despite herself, she smiled.

FEBRUARY 15th

Spencer couldn't believe he was picking her up at near two in the morning.

Honestly, he'd initially thought about ignoring her call again, but remembering the day it was and taking note of the time, he figured she was most likely in some type of inebriated trouble.

His instincts were right, of course, but he wished that he could have been wrong. He wished she'd only been calling to drunkenly ramble on about how she missed him or maybe how he was stupid and she never wanted to see his face ever again, because that was normal. At least then he could have hung up after she was done and never thought about it again— it was a normal step in any relationship that helped move things along. They could have gotten on with their lives and it would have all been over.

But of course it was never that simple.

Y/N was never that simple.

He pictured her on the street near some bar, alone and cold and drunk, and of course he would have been the only one she could call to rescue her. After all, he'd been pretty much the only thing she'd ever known to make her feel safe.

Still, he wished he was capable of only giving her a ride home and then leaving.

But again, it was never that simple.

It was easy getting her into the car— that wasn't what he was worried about. Rather, it was the fated moment where she'd ask him to stay after he finally got her tucked safely into bed that worried him. Because it was bad enough that it was Y/N... It was her in all her alluring glory, and he'd never been able to deny her anything no matter how badly he tried or wanted to.

Now add on the fact that she was drunk, and most likely sad on their first Valentine's Day apart, and it was a recipe for disaster.

Even if she'd broken his heart, Spencer still cared about her.

Which is why he inevitably agreed to stay, at least until she fell asleep.

He knew her well enough to know all the ways she'd try to get him under the covers with her, so it was a familiar amusement that settled in his being when he was finally able to get on top of the covers with her underneath. But as he entertained her silly little questions with the right answers until she fell asleep, Spencer noticed something else accompanying that amusement.

Guilt.

And then anger for feeling guilty about her sadness— sadness that could have been avoided had she just gotten over whatever was holding her back and either returned his "I love you" or told him she wasn't feeling the same way just yet.

All she had to do was talk.

He had a right to feel upset about Y/N holding back when he'd been nothing but patient, spending almost every year of their relationship trying to make her see that she had nothing to be afraid of. He'd given her every chance to talk about what she was feeling, whether it was happy or not, and every time she pushed it all away in favor of sex.

That wasn't what he wanted in a relationship, so he ended it. And there was absolutely nothing wrong with that.

So why was he feeling so fucking guilty?

He blamed his good nature and innate need to please people, to make them feel good and happy. But he also blamed Y/N and her adorable drunken sleeping face.

He watched as she slept, willing himself not to forget the way she hurt him. She'd completely stolen his heart and shattered it at the same time, and if he was being honest, she still held some of the pieces. But he couldn't get them back, not if he didn't want to risk shattering her own heart in the process.

It felt like they were tied together by some strong, invisible force that wouldn't break unless both of them broke right along with it.

So... maybe he could afford to leave those pieces of his heart with her. He'd have to if they were going to get out of this alive. Not unscathed, sure, but alive nonetheless.

Once he was sure she was deep in sleep, Spencer quietly and carefully got off the bed and navigated through her apartment, getting her a glass of water and leaving it on the table next to her bed. And because he couldn't help it, he cleaned up some of the clothes that were scattered around her floor, depositing them into the hamper and straightening out a few more things that were out of place.

He looked over at her sleeping figure one more time, sighed, and then left, keeping her bedroom door open just a crack.

***

Spencer knew he shouldn't have stayed longer.

Despite his better judgement, he'd plopped himself down on her couch after making sure she was sound asleep, hoping to catch his breath and sort through what he was feeling before he got behind the wheel. But of course, it was 2am and he was exhausted, and he couldn't stop himself from closing his eyes and drifting off.

And now he was sitting up, looking around the apartment through the lens of morning.

Though the curtains were sheer, they didn't provide much light, but enough of it showed him just how familiar the space was. Y/N hadn't moved anything around. The same art was on the same walls, the potted ivy plant on her mantle sat un-watered and withering, and every book and record and DVD on her shelves was in the exact same spot as they'd all been the last time he was there in December.

Meanwhile, after the breakup he'd re-arranged everything. He was so sure that they were through for good this time around that he wanted a clean slate. Not that he wanted to rid himself of her memory completely, but if he was going to move on from the hold she'd had on him, he had to do something...

And yet, he ended up at her apartment the morning after Valentine's Day all the same.

He heard the shower running faintly a couple rooms away. You didn't have to pass the couch to get there, so maybe she hadn't seen him sleeping and he could get away cleanly.

Spencer scrambled off the couch, thankful that he hadn't removed his jacket or his shoes and that he could just sprint towards the door without having to find any of his belongings.

But as luck would have it, the second he took a step, the shower turned off. He had to get out of there quickly, but if he did then she'd definitely know he'd stayed overnight. But if he went quietly, he wouldn't have enough time before she caught him.

Maybe I could hide...

He shook the thought with a roll of his eyes, settling on the clearest course of action, which was to make as quick of a getaway as he could. He'd try to be quiet as well, though the creaky door was going to be nearly impossible to get through without a sound.

His hand was on the doorknob when he heard her voice.

"You didn't think you could spend the night and then leave without saying goodbye, did 'ja?"

The pure amusement in her tone made his stomach churn, and it wasn't unpleasant in the slightest.

Spencer turned and smiled softly, avoiding looking at her completely. "Sorry. Didn't want to bother you."

"You're never a bother."

That sentiment held less amusement and more sincerity, which was what guided his eyes to meet the woman who said the words.

His stomach twisted again when he saw her, exactly like he knew she'd be— wrapped in nothing but a thin towel with near-dripping hair cascading down her back. Her legs were bare and exposed, the towel not only thin but short, which meant that her chest was also practically spilling out of it. Despite the obvious and inevitable hungover look in her eye, there was also a good splash of that mischief that'd always been there— the kind that spelled out trouble.

He needed to get out of there.

"Well, um... I'm glad I got you home safe," he said, clearing his throat. "I should... I should go."

"You sure you don't wanna stay for breakfast?"

Spencer could have sworn she was teasing him, dangling her body in front of him like a meal they both knew he wouldn't be able to resist. But then she added, "I've got everything I need for your favorite omelet," and he exhaled with a small smile, exhausted with his own mind for convincing him that she was out to pull him back in.

Still, he declined. "No, I... I shouldn't. But, uh, thank you..."

"You sure?"

This time when he looked up at her, she was closer. She was gently striding forward to meet him, and he half thought about backing up towards the door until he realized he was already there.

"I—I'm sure. Really."

"But you drove around all night just to take me home when I was drunk, the least I can do is feed you..."

"Eh, it's alright. It's... Nothing I haven't done before."

She stopped then, her eyes briefly dropping to the floor. It was like her whole demeanor changed—just for a second—from the prowess she'd always been, to what seemed to be a woman filled with sadness and regret. It didn't last long though, just enough for Spencer to notice it before she looked back up at him with that wicked gleam in her eye and a remark right at the tip of her tongue.

"Still. I feel bad, making you do all that for me... Especially now."

He wasn't sure what to make of this... It seemed like she was sincere, but she was also alluring, calling to him like a siren leading him to his ultimate demise. And while he'd come to know that as merely a part of her nature, he couldn't help but shake the feeling that she was doing it on purpose.

She was in a skimpy towel, after all, and she definitely knew how to use that to her advantage.

It didn't help that he didn't have the courage to leave. Everything inside of him right then longed to drop that towel and indulge himself once more. Putting aside all the heartache and the differences they shared, all he felt in that moment was the need to touch her— to get lost in her and never be found again.

She was his fatal flaw, and it was painfully obvious.

Spencer knew he shouldn't have stayed longer...

He was over to her in just three strides, throwing off his jacket and tossing it aside before cradling her face with his hands and bringing their lips together for the first time since Christmas Eve.

The small whine in her throat signaled that she hadn't expected it, but welcomed it all the same. The moment she lifted her arms to wrap around his neck, the towel fell to the floor, and there was no going back.

"What about breakfast?" Y/N breathed out once they pulled away for air.

Spencer contemplated, studying her face, seeing the way her eyes sparkled, and decided on the two words that sealed his fate.

"Screw breakfast."

Their lips were melded together almost as soon as the words left his mouth. And it wasn't long before every other part of their bodies were melded together as well.

Y/N helped him take the rest of his clothes off as they danced around the entryway and the living room. Everything was open, no walls separating the living room from the kitchen, so to compensate for the lack of breakfast they'd be eating, they migrated to the kitchen counter once Spencer had off everything but his boxers.

He trapped her against the cool marble of the countertop, her back hitting it solid and sending a shiver up her spine. Meanwhile his hands roamed her body, unsure of where to be other than on her at all times, whether it be her waist, her stomach, her arms, her breasts, or her ass. He wanted to feel all of her, and quite frankly she wanted the same.

She even told him so, in her own way, by bringing one of her legs up and wrapping it around his waist, pulling him closer to her as she wove her fingers through his hair and tasted his tongue with her own.

The action elicited a groan from his mouth, low and desperate. Spencer settled his hands on her waist and gripped it tight, silently telling her what to do.

So she jumped up and he helped guide her swiftly onto the counter. Her legs instinctively wrapped around his waist again, and he found himself grinding into her hips, urgent to feel every part of her. And thankfully she was feeling rather desperate herself, because she rolled her hips up into him in return, breaking their mouths apart just briefly to speak.

"Fuck me..."

There was so much he wanted to say to her in that moment— how badly he was feeling about keeping her entertained while he was slowly deteriorating inside from her emotional detachment and rejection, how much she frustrated him, and more prominently, how she was so goddamn impatient and that he was getting there...

But all that he could manage was a broken, desperate whisper of her name.

It was all he'd ever known.

All that frustration... All that anger, heartache, passion, and time apart combined beautifully into those few syllables that made up her name and tore him apart from the inside out.

And his hands were just as destructive.

Spencer deftly dropped his boxers to the ground and pushed forward, almost losing all sense of self the moment the head of his dick finally made contact with her cunt. He made his way inside of her and then used both of his hands to grip her waist and bring her closer, their mouths connecting harshly as they found one another once again.

His grip was bruising— not possessive in any way, but desperate, like he had to cling to her for dear life or he wouldn't live to see another day. He held himself inside her, sighing and whimpering into her mouth as she clenched around him. It was so familiar, so comfortable and exhilarating that he almost didn't even want to move. He thought about staying there, still inside her forever.

But as always, Y/N was insatiable.

She wrapped all her limbs around him and held on, rolling her hips and seeking friction in any way possible when she briefly tore her lips away from his.

"I need you, baby, please..."

Even as his heart started to rumble in his chest, well aware of the fact that she still probably didn't love him the way he loved her, Spencer gave her everything. He pulled out and snapped his hips forward again, setting a strong, steady pace that had Y/N's eyes rolling back, and the payoff of hearing her sigh out his name was more than enough to keep him going.

Her nails dug deliciously into his shoulders, the faint sting adding something reminiscent of gasoline to a fire. The flames grew taller and brighter the more he fucked her, and with each gradual increase of volume and intensity, it was a wonder the whole kitchen around them hadn't literally burst into flames.

That's how they always were.

Together like this, so lost in the high of each others' bodies, it was easy to forget the things that made their relationship so hard. It was easy to let all the negativity slip away into the throes of pent-up, well-needed sex. The high they gave each other was merely that— A high...

A distraction.

And while that's exactly what Y/N needed, what she preferred in most cases, it's what Spencer recognized as completely unhealthy, despite his coming back to it every time.

It's also why he dreaded the moment ending. Because once they came down from the high, all that's left would be sadness, regret... Guilt... Their fire burned hot, brightly and wildly, but in the aftermath would lay only a thick layer of deadly smoke between them— hard to navigate, and nearly impossible to breathe in without suffocating.

So they simply burned and burned and burned...

Spencer gripped her so tight he was sure to leave her with bruising. And in turn Y/N dragged her nails down his back and dug them into his ass, her palm laying firmly over the muscles that aided in fucking her into the marbled surface. She whined out curses and moans, and he cried out broken whispers of her name, pet names, and curses alike.

Even once she'd come, he kept going, willing himself to hold on as long as he could. She whined into his ear at the overstimulation. And rather than keeping her legs wrapped around his body, she decided to spread them wide, perching her heels up on the counter as far as she could go and anchoring her fingers through his hair.

And though she might not have had enough orgasms in her to keep up with him, she welcomed it all the same—She welcomed the burn just as much as he did.

Even still, no fire can burn forever.

All concept of time was lost by the time Spencer finally collapsed forward, completely spent and barely standing on weak legs after coming twice. Y/N held onto him tightly to keep him upwards, lightly massaging his scalp with gentle fingers and closing her eyes as she focused on his breathing— the way it fanned over the skin of her bare shoulder and how it sounded, perfectly in time with hers...

It was the most peaceful she'd been in a long time.

She felt him pull out of her, the both of them groaning at the feeling, and a little at the mess it would make.

Spencer gently peeled his body off of hers, sniffing once and avoiding her eyes. "Sorry... You just got out of the shower..."

"It's fine," Y/N breathed. She begged him silently to look her in the eye, but he remained still... Most likely thinking. She could practically see the cogs turning in his brain.

So, in an effort to lighten the mood a bit, she added with a breathy laugh, "Besides... It's nothing I haven't done before."

The callback to his words—and memories of all the times they'd found themselves in this position before—got Spencer to laugh a little, but he still wouldn't meet her eyes.

Finally, he cleared his throat. "I'll... I'll grab the wipes?"

"Oh. Sure," Y/N returned with a thankful smile. It was hopeful, too, though the moment he was out of eyesight, it turned rather sad.

She'd known that behavior before, seen that hesitation in his movements and that sound in his voice.

It was guilt.

Regret.

Probably a bit of self-hatred, too.

When he returned, a pile of her clothes in hand and the bag of wipes on top, she took them from him with a kind smile and cleaned herself up while he put his clothes back on.

The silence was more uncomfortable than anything either of them had ever experienced.

So much so, that Y/N couldn't even muster up the courage to ask him to stay for breakfast— and she always did after one of their post-break hookups.

Maybe this time really was different.

Spencer was just at the door again when she stopped him.

"Thank you," she said. Her voice was so small, he almost didn't hear it. "For bringing me home..."

But he paused, turned, and finally looked her in the eye.

He almost sunk to his knees right there...

Seeing her, arms crossed like she was trying to keep warm, as her head hung low and she looked up at him through sad, hooded eyelids...

It reminded him of the woman he fell in love with.

But in his peripheral, he saw the towel on the floor and was reminded of the woman who'd shattered his heart.

Spencer cleared his throat. Once upon a time he might have returned her thanks with, Anytime, but... Honestly he wasn't sure there could ever be another time. For his sanity, he'd have to avoid 'anytime' at all costs.

So, he settled on, "You're welcome."

He was glad to see her return his kind smile with one of her own, even if it was tainted with sadness, and a small wave goodbye.

Maybe this time it would stick.

Even still, as he closed the door behind him and made his way to the parking lot, for some reason it didn't quite feel like goodbye.

And some of that deadly smoke that settled in his lungs as he drove further and further away from her apartment was inclined to agree.

***

Neither of them could sleep that night.

While Spencer stared out the window of the jet, a little annoyed to be called out on a case so late but at least thankful for the distraction, Y/N laid in bed, staring at the stars on her ceiling.

The same constellation caught their eye.

Columba.

The Dove.

She hadn't even meant to arrange the stars like that, but one night after a date, they were laying in her bed and Spencer pointed out that the cluster of plastic stars right in the corner of the ceiling looked like Columba.

Y/N fondly remembered Spencer telling her about how it was originally named to represent Noah's dove, which searched for dry land during the great biblical flood and returned carrying an olive branch to make news of its recession— of peace at last.

The memory made her smile. It tugged at her heart and made her dreams of him even more vivid.

All the same, Spencer noticed the constellation outside the jet window and remembered that same night. The smile on her face as he told her the story, the feel of her fingers gliding softly over the bare skin of his forearm...

It was the first night since he'd met her that he thought it.

I love her...

He almost told her then, too, but he was afraid it was too soon. So he refrained.

Looking back, Spencer was starting to regret that— Maybe without that extra time together, breaking up would have been easier. But instead, he gave her more time. He gave himself more time to fall deeper in love with her, and in the end it still wasn't enough.

Now they were both looking at the same constellation, one made of plastic and the other of gas, wondering if their flood would ever recede.

And in the event that it did... Who would be the dove, and what would be their olive branch?

“You know I dream about getting back together in the future, I could focus on you. But if I leave right now, I hope that you don’t find someone that touches you the way that I do...”

***

SERIES TAGLIST: @reidyoulikeabook @yourmisosoup @fortheloveofcriminalminds @bellzo17 @altsvu @flipperpenguins @mcumorningstar

TAGS NOT WORKING: @reid-to-me @totallyclearwitch

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader smut #spencer reid smut #spencer reid angst #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds angst #losing you twice

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nelson-et-murdock · 3 years

Text

Home - Luke Alvez

*not my gif*

One-shot detailing the reader’s time with Luke and the BAU as they return from a 6-month sabbatical

Warnings: angst mixed with fluff, BAU! Reader, fem reader.

Didn’t proofread so possible occasional errors

Other Details: Reader has PhDs in Psychology and Anthropology with masters in Sociology and Criminal Justice

Pairing: Luke Alvez x fem BAU! Reader. Platonic team x reader. Maybe some mistakes here and there

Flashbacks/memories are in italics and bolded

Word Count: 4.6K

As you drove to Quantico, a familiar feeling started to consume you. It had been over 6 months since you last saw the inside of the BAU. As much as you missed the people you had grown to know, you were unsure of how smoothly your return would go. It wasn’t long before you pulled into the parking lot and made your way into the building and to the elevator. You weren’t officially reinstated to the unit yet due to delays in paperwork and had therefore only been in contact with Emily about your return. The feeling in your stomach as you approached the 6th floor was very reminiscent of your first day with the unit.

Despite having been part of the FBI for years, you still got first-day jitters when you approached the building. You had met with Emily Prentiss a few times prior when your name had been put in for the open position, but you had no idea who anyone else was or how they’d react to a new agent joining the team. You knew full well that the BAU was the crown jewel of the FBI and that there was going to be a lot of pressure to live up to any expectations.

As you made your way to the BAU, you fidgeted with the messenger bag you kept your things in, being in the FBI you found it much more useful than carrying around a purse. After calming your nerves you slowly made your way to Emily’s office, with the help of who would later learn was Spencer.

As you walked towards Emily’s office, Luke spotted you far before you spotted him. Quiet murmurs around the bullpen speculating who you were and what you needed to see Prentiss about were just out of earshot. The conversation with Prentiss was short before the two of you walked out of her office and into the conference room for Prentiss to introduce you to the team.

“As I’m sure you’re all aware we have a new agent joining us. This is Dr. y/n y/ln and I believe she’ll be an excellent addition to the team,” she stated. Quick individual introductions were done and the entire atmosphere was generally accepting yet professional. That was until you got to Luke and had to act like it was the first time you had met, well aware that no one on the team knew about your time spent with him.

“Luke Alvez, I look forward to working with you,” he said coldly, in a way that the team would chalk up to him having a bad day but that you knew was residual anger he had for you.

“Likewise,” you responded with a small smile despite the slight pang in your chest at the sight of the man you once knew.

Not long after you joined the BAU, Penelope had become suspicious of the way you acted around Luke. You had warmed up to everyone in the unit, except for him. One day she had wanted answers and the most she would get from either of you was “We just don’t get along Garcia it’s nothing important.” Even without being a profiler, Garcia could tell there was more to the story than that.

When she got a few spare minutes during a case she did a deep dive into your personal history, looking for anything in your past connecting to Luke.

Garcia didn’t know what to expect when she went digging into you, but it definitely wasn’t that you previously had an over 2-year long relationship with Luke. Garcia had gotten so caught up in finding out what went down between you and Luke that she didn’t hear footsteps approaching in time to close her search.

“Hey Garcia..” you started but tapered off as you saw the screens before you. “I - Prentiss needed - shit sorry I uh,” you tried to get Garcia back on topic for the case but fumbled on the words.

“No no don’t be sorry. I’m so sorry I did this. I know I shouldn’t have looked into your past with Newbie but I couldn’t understand why you guys don’t get along. I mean I get not liking him because he’s Newbie but you. You’re this little ray of sunshine girl wonder. I can’t believe he broke your heart like that-” she started to ramble on but you cut her off before she could continue.

“I left him,” you said hoping it would satiate her curiosity.

“Details? You can’t just drop that on me and not give me details. Did he do something? Was he a bad boyfriend? Should I hate him for it?”

“No, he did nothing wrong, it was all on me. I was scared he started talking about marriage and kids and he had the right to we had been together for nearly 3 years and I wasn’t sure if I was ready so I requested a transfer to a California field office and when it was approved I told him I got a job offer I couldn’t pass up and I left him.”

“Do you still love him?”

“I think part of me always will but Garcia this stays between us. I mean it, don’t tell anyone.”

“My lips are sealed. If you need anything the batcave is always open to have you,” she said as she stood up to embrace you in a hug.

Little did you know, Luke was having a very similar conversation with Matt down the hall.

The ding of the elevator signaling your arrival on the 6th floor shook you out of your thoughts. The closer you got to where you needed to be, the more anxious your return was making you. While you had come across a few bad cases, a few stuck out to you in particular, including the first one you had with the unit, which ultimately allowed you to reconnect with Luke.

The first difficult case for the team since you joined took more of a toll on you than you would like to admit. Once everyone was on the jet you took a seat and hoped to avoid any conversation about how you were feeling that day. You flashed a few small smiles at your colleagues in an attempt to let them know you were okay without actually saying anything. For the most part, your plan had been successful. That was until Luke had noticed the way you had been acting.

“Is it okay if I join you?” he asked motioning to the empty seat beside you. You silently nodded and avoided looking at him as he took a seat beside you. “I know we aren’t exactly close anymore but you can still come to me if you need anything,” he told you as you silently nodded.

“I know - I just. Can we talk about it later? I’d rather not talk about it right now,” you responded, finally looking his way.

“Of course. If you feel comfortable coming over tonight we can talk at my place. I know Roxy misses you,” he said with a smile.

“I’d like that. Thank you.” The rest of the time on the jet was spent in comfortable silence.

Upon getting back to the bullpen, you and Luke decided it would be best for him to drive you to his place after the two of you were done with the reports you had to write. As you sat at your desk and took out the files of papers you needed to complete, you couldn’t bring yourself to concentrate. As your mind kept replaying the events of the previous week, it was apparent you were becoming frustrated. It didn’t take Luke long to see that you were struggling and to tell Prentiss he was going to take you home for the night to make sure you were doing okay before heading over to your desk.

“You’ve done enough work today, let’s get out of here,” Luke whispered to you as you nodded. “I’ll meet you at the elevator in 5 minutes so no one thinks anything about us leaving at the same time,” he told you, knowing you wouldn’t like the idea of any possible attention on you that could come with the two of you leaving together.

The ride to Luke’s was much quicker than you had remembered it to be. Neither one of you two said very much and just let the radio play at a low volume. For most of the ride, you watched out the window while Luke focused on driving, occasionally looking your way to check that you were okay. As he pulled into his driveway, you realized how much you missed Luke and the sense of safety and comfort he provided for you.

The two of you talked about why the case had bothered you so much more than you had expected, and it soon turned to talking about whatever came to your mind. “I miss you. I know we work together now and that I’m the one who left but I really miss you, Luke. I miss spending time with you and the random updates we gave each other when you were gone and overall I just miss you. I think that’s why I struggled so much with this case when I didn’t hear back from you when you were in the field because I couldn’t live with myself if something happened and you didn’t know how I felt,” you started to ramble on.

“I’ve missed you too y/n,” Luke responded as he draped his arm around your shoulders pulling you closer to him, “I miss waking up and knowing you were either right next to me or that you were a phone call away.” Checking the time, Luke placed a kiss on your temple before whispering “Let’s get some sleep it’s getting late”

You nodded in response before the two of you got ready for bed. After changing into a pair of Luke’s sweatpants and an old shirt, you crawled into the bed the two of you had shared so many times before and eventually fell asleep in the arms you had previously grown to associate with comfort and safety.

As you walked down the hall, you passed the spot you were standing when you got an offer to lead a study and return to anthropology. It was a temporary out from profiling but it was something that you had missed doing. Upon getting the offer, a range of emotions flowed through you, yet it took nearly 2 weeks to tell Luke and another 2 weeks to tell anyone else.

The day started like any other day-off with Luke. The two of you slept until around noon and laid around just enjoying each other’s company. Working together didn’t allow for much personal time together as you had to remain professional when on cases. Prentiss didn’t mind when it was a paperwork day that you guys spent time at each other’s desks, so long as PDA was kept to a minimum, which it always was. However, it wasn’t the same as getting to just spend time together without having to worry about catching an unsub or fill out a report in time with no errors.

While laying in bed, the offer to lead an anthropological study at the University of Michigan kept eating at you. You had limited time to make a decision and respond to the offer. However, you couldn’t bring yourself to bring the topic up with Luke and you couldn’t make a decision without informing him of the offer first.

“Is everything okay princesa?” Luke asked, noticing the sudden change in your emotions.

“Yeah, there’s just something I need to talk to you about,” you responded looking up at him. “But I need you to hear me out and keep in mind that I haven’t made a decision yet and that nothing is final.”

“You’re beginning to worry me,” he started, “Are you sure nothing is wrong?”

“I was offered the chance to lead an anthropological study,” you stated, leaving him speechless. Memories of when you left him flooding back. You could tell by the look on his face that he was worried this was the beginning of the end for the two of you once again. “I know what you’re thinking and it isn’t like that this time. I know I did something similar when I left but I promise I’m different now. The study is through the University of Michigan and it’s only slated to take 6-months if not less. It’s primarily overseeing graduate students as they conduct a study. I’d be able to set my own office hours so that we can talk as often as possible. I just don’t know if I want to take the offer.”

“You sound invested in the study already. What would be keeping you from taking it?” he asked, his voice full of support for you. All he ever wanted was for you to achieve your dreams. When you didn’t immediately answer he spoke again, “Is it me? Is that why you might not take it?”

You slowly nodded in response, “I feel like I just got you back and now I might be leaving, and what if things don’t work out with us not in the same state?”

“Princesa, listen to me. If you promise that this is nothing like last time and that you aren’t doing this in an attempt to leave then I trust you. We can figure out us as the situation comes up and I’m confident we can work out this time around. Whatever you decide I am forever proud of you and in awe of all that you’ve accomplished.”

“I love you,” was all you could think to respond with.

“I love you too princesa,” Luke said, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.

Two weeks had passed since you told Luke of the news when a really difficult case had seemed to take a toll on pretty much everyone. After the case, it was decided that those who were able to would come over to the house you shared with Luke to decompress. Spencer and Garcia came and spent the entire day, and much of the night, with the two of you. Having extended the invite to significant others, Matt brought Kristy by to visit with everyone after they found a sitter around 7:30.

Once everyone who planned on coming was there, it didn’t take long for everyone to get caught up in conversations about personal lives. The conversation started with asking Matt and Kristy about their kids and eventually, everyone started talking about overall changes in their lives. “So girl wonder,” Matt started, referring to you by a name originally bestowed on you by Garcia before it caught on to the rest of the team, “Luke said you got an offer to lead a pretty interesting study is that right?”

“Yeah. He wasn’t supposed to tell anyone I haven’t made a decision yet. The department I’d be overseeing for it ran into some problems and the start date has been pushed back. It would be nice to get away from the dark and scary parts of this job and back to what I started with but I’d miss you guys too much.”

“Would it be permanent?” Spencer asked. The two of you had grown close since you joined the unit and while he wanted to be excited for you, he would be lying if he said the idea of you leaving didn’t upset him at all.

“No,” you started to say, “It’s slated to last 6-months but there’s no guarantee the study will be finished in time.”

“Are you still going to work at the BAU when you come back?” Garcia questioned.

“I’m not sure. If I’m being completely honest, I’ve been struggling with deciding lately if I’m a good fit for the unit, but I plan to stay with the bureau somehow,” you answered hesitantly.

The rest of the night was spent answering questions about the study and getting support from those around you. By the time everyone was ready to leave, you felt completely comfortable knowing that whatever decision you came to, you would have a support system of amazing friends.

Looking back, you should have noticed that the number of times you were having trouble with cases was more of a problem than you should have was a sign you needed to step away from the job. The cases themselves weren’t getting harder, but you personally were having a harder time with them. The longer you were with the unit, the more issues you had been having an increasingly difficult time coping after them. You would have thought they would have gotten easier to manage, but you found yourself struggling every time you felt a decision you made could have changed the outcome of a case. In your previous position before the BAU, you felt powerless as the victims were long gone and often one-off crimes and you felt switching to the BAU and being able to get killers off the street would make you feel better as you’d be helping get active killers off the street. However, you were extremely wrong, and the feeling that you could, no that you should, have stopped their killers before it was too late became too much for you and you decided to take a step back from the unit.

“Y/ln, we need to talk in my office,” Prentiss said as you entered the bullpen.

“Yes ma’am,” you responded, setting your go-bag down on your desk before you made your way to where she was standing. The entire team knew exactly what Prentiss needed to talk to you about and a few members even gave you sympathetic looks as you crossed the bullpen.

“Before we start I just want to say I’m sorry. I know what I did was against protocol,” you started.

“That’s not why you’re in here,” Emily cut you off. “While what you did was unacceptable, you’re here because I’m worried about you. In these past 2 cases, you’ve shown reckless behavior, as if you’re trying to get yourself hurt. I’m not mad at you, but I do need you to let me know if anything is going on that is affecting your ability to do this job.”

You silently nodded as she spoke. The more she said, the more you began to question your place in the unit. “Thank you. I’ve just had some personal problems the past week but I should be good to go now,” you said lying through your teeth.

“Just let me know if anything changes. Your health and personal well-being are more important than this job.”

The next week the BAU was called in to help with another tough case. While it wasn’t the first tough case you encountered in the time you had been with the BAU, this one was worse than others.

The victims are similar in both age and appearance to a close family member of yours and it had made it difficult for you to concentrate in the field the way you needed to. At one point you had even froze and almost didn’t get to a victim in time. For the entirety of the case, you were closed off from everyone when it didn’t involve work.

Upon returning to the BAU, everyone slowly dispersed their desks and you made your way to Prentiss’s office. Her door was open but you still knocked quietly before entering. “Can we talk?”

“Of course, come in.”

You could tell from the sympathetic look on her face that she knew what you needed to say. As you sat across from her she waited for you to speak. After letting out a small sigh you found the confidence to admit what was happening, “I think I need to step away from this job.”

With a silent nod, she grabbed the appropriate paperwork from her file cabinet, “I knew this day was coming. Luke told me you had been having nightmares lately. Fill out these papers and return them to me as soon as possible. If you opt for a sabbatical instead of completely leaving it should take roughly 2 weeks for it to be approved. In the meantime, you would still be a member of the team but be able to use the vacation days you have or you can be solely a desk agent and assist Garcia. Whichever one you choose I, as well as the rest of the team, will be here for you and have enjoyed working with you.”

Fighting tears that had started to form as she spoke, you nodded and said a quiet thank you before leaving her office. Setting the papers down on your desk on the way, you headed towards Garcia’s office to let her know you planned on leaving.

Once you were out of earshot, JJ had peeked at the papers you had set down. “What is it?” Spencer asked, almost not wanting to know the answer.

“Y/ln is leaving the unit,” she responded, voice full of confusion. As she spoke everyone turned to Luke and he nodded slightly in response, confirming you were leaving the family you had grown to love.

After your sabbatical was approved, you accepted the offer to lead the study. Much to your dismay, the team was insistent on throwing you a going-away party, despite knowing you were going to come back in 6 months. You told the team that if they insisted on having a gathering at Rossi’s place that it needed to be something that the members of the unit with kids could bring them with, feeling there was no point in, “saying goodbye to a family member” as Rossi had put it, without all of the family members being there.

“Remind me again why we have to make a big deal of me leaving? I already said goodbye to the team and I’ll be back and with the unit again in less than a year,” you wondered aloud to Luke as you pulled into Rossi’s driveway.

“Because princesa, it’ll make Rossi happy to get to throw you a party and its tradition, regardless of how long the leave will be. And besides, the kids want to see you before you leave for 6 months,” he reminded you.

“You got me there,” you said with a smile before kissing his cheek. “Let’s head in before we’re late.”

Shortly after you guys made your way inside and to the backyard, Matt and Kristy had arrived with their kids. The kids knew why you were having a going away party and instantly ran to you when they saw you. When you noticed the kids running up to you, both you and Luke knelt to prepare for the number of hugs you were about to get. Due to offering to babysit when Matt and Kristy needed time to themselves, the kids had grown to see you as an aunt and Luke as an uncle. The same could be said for Henry and Michael, who showed up with JJ and Will shortly after the Simmons had arrived. The next couple of minutes were spent answering any questions the kids could think to ask you, in the most kid-friendly way you could.

“You’ll be back by my birthday right?” David asked looking up at you. In the time you had known the kids, you hadn’t missed a birthday for any of them.

“Of course I will buddy,” you responded.

“What about our stories?” Chloe asked.

“Yeah who is gonna tell us our stories while you’re gone?” While they had the Simmons Stories, the ones you told were different. You told them stories of the different cultures you studied and the different ways parts of the universe were believed to have come into existence.

“I have them all written down. I can leave them with Luke and he can read them to you,” you reassured all of them.

As the night went on, many memories from your time with the unit were shared with the group. Even though you planned to come back as soon as the study was over, knowing they would spend the next 6 months without you seemed to make everyone nostalgic.

Near the end of the night, everyone started saying their goodbyes. It was particularly hard to say goodbye to Spencer, knowing nearly everyone else he had gotten close to had left him as well. “I’m sorry,” was the first thing you managed to say to him. “I know you hate goodbyes and struggle with change but I promise I will come back and if not to work with the unit at least for our weekly coffee shop visits.”

“You don’t have to apologize. You’re doing what you have to do,” he responded as you opened your arms to offer him a hug. You were always the first to initiate hugs and he usually accepted them.

“I’ll miss you, Spence. You already have my cell phone number and the phone number for my office for the next 6 months. Call me anytime you need me,” you told him while hugging him.

“I’m proud of you. I’ll miss you too y/nn,” he said as you pulled apart.

“See you in 6 months.”

As you made your way into the bullpen you took note of the date. It was 6 months and 4 days since you had seen any of the team face-to-face. While you kept personal contact with the entire team while you were away, you hadn’t told anyone except for Emily that you were planning on coming back to the team. Luke knew when the study would end and was expecting to see you at home later that night, assuming that the team didn’t get a case that pulled him away.

When you entered the bullpen, Matt was the first to notice your arrival. He was already standing at Luke’s desk to ask him a question related to a report he was writing and flashed a small smile in your direction before nudging Luke on the arm, “Why didn’t you tell anyone y/n was returning today?”

Not thinking you were actually there, Luke brushed off Matt. “She isn’t coming home until later tonight and told me even if she does return to the unit it would take some time for her to be reinstated,” he responded, not even looking up from his file.

Knowing he wouldn’t look up from his file right away, you talked quietly with everyone else before approaching his desk. You brought back small trinkets for everyone and placed a small handmade miniature Roxy in front of him. “One of the students I was overseeing made it when she saw a picture of you and Roxy as my phone background to help me cope with being away from you. I figured since I’m home now you could use it more,” you explained as if it wasn’t the first time you were seeing your boyfriend in over 6 months.

Luke watched silently as you spoke, a smile creeping onto his face when he processed you were actually there in front of him. As he stood up from his chair, he quickly wrapped his arms around you before pressing a kiss to your forehead. “You’re home?” he asked, trying to comprehend your arrival.

“I’m home,” you responded with a smile as you looked up at him.

“I’ve missed you so much, you can’t leave me for that long again,” he said with a smile.

Before you could respond, Garcia came speeding out of her office due to having heard of your return from JJ. “Girl wonder! You’re back! Are you staying with us? You can’t leave me with Newbie for that long ever again,” she exclaimed as she approached you.

“Yes, I’m back. Weaning back into the job and will be on desk duty here and helping you for the first 2 weeks but I’m back,” you told her.

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