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#i really did not expect zero's part to get so long

industria-adastra · 2 months

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[Vampire Knight] - If I'm to be reborn, I'll find you (again, again, again) - CHAPTER TWO: ruler of my heart (you outburn the sun)

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Summary: He hates her, he loves her, he hates her. He misses her. (The only place he can have her is in his dreams)

Note: Hopefully I'm getting better at this updating consistently thing but yeah zero's chapter. Next chapter is going to be kaname/yume focused again sorry zero or zeki enjoyers.

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He’s not the first one to hear of the news. In fact, he’s neither the second, nor third (and so on) recipient of the fact that Kuran Yuuki is dead. Zero doesn’t hear it from the Chairman, his teacher, Kaito, or even from one of the vampires. In hindsight, perhaps he should have been more suspicious, should have questioned the way paperwork always found its way to his desk unceasingly—leaving him with no time to focus on the outside world.

Zero simply hears of it in passing whilst heading out for lunch, through a conversation between two nameless hunters—discussing it like changes in the weather.

“Did you hear? Kuran Yuuki is dead.”

“Another pureblood gone, huh… Wonder if it was her brother that did her in?”

“The rapidly decreasing execution missions would likely clue you into the answer.”

“Right, right.”

It’s hysterically, laughably casual in the way such information comes to him.

(It can’t be real. It can’t be real. It can’t be real—)

The world seems to stop on its axis, and Zero wonders if he should’ve simply ignored his desire for shio ramen today. After all, it’s not like he has an appetite now. His stomach roils with discomfort at the thought of food, and his throat itches for a scant few seconds before it burns. A sandstorm swirls and tears at his flesh. Mind blank, Zero goes where his feet wish to travel, content to let his mind stay in a haze.

He ends up in the association bathrooms, throwing up nothing but paltry strings of bile and choking on his spit.

There is too much work to be done. The vampire world, for one, was going through a massive societal upheaval. Zero simply couldn't do anything more than throw up into an association toilet before being fed an ungodly amount of paperwork as if he were some humanoid paper shredder.

And maybe it's because more than four years ago, just over a year ago—with Ichiru dead in his arms—he's finally refined a true and tried method for every loss he's been through. Every thought of her is locked behind a glass vault, buried six feet under, the key left behind to collect dust. Zero works through papers and decimates his targets with the same ease. Every stroke of his pen is enforced with the explosive sound of his gun, of ashes in the wind. Rinse and repeat, his days all blur together in their sameness.

Months later, on a job just like any other, Zero walks into a department store and sees a long coat, hanging neatly from the racks. Stupidly, he thinks, ‘Yuuki would probably say I should get it if she saw it.’ And then, oh, how it hits him at that very moment.

Yuuki is dead.

Apparently, it had been the pureblood Shirabuki Sara. A pureblood through and through, she’d sent pawns to do her dirty work.

But she’d miscalculated the consequences of her actions, as all those high up on their thrones of arrogance were prone to doing so.

So she too, is dead, consumed by the pureblood king Kuran Kaname—he’s slaughtered more influential vampires than any hunter ever would in their lifetime. In the privacy of his thoughts, Zero thinks that had he the power and madness to do so, he would’ve too.

Sanity is both a blessing and a curse, because there is nothing else for Zero to turn to but his thoughts alone.

Roaring water fills his ears, and Zero sits, unmoving on the wet shower tiles. Steam fogs up the room, blurring his vision. He watches the water run down the drain for hours, washing the grime caked on his body until his fingers are all pruned and his skin is red with heat. His stomach is growling at him, and the water bill is for sure going to shoot up with this, but Zero can’t bring himself to care much about the future right now.

(Any second now, she might barge into the bathroom to demand usage of the shower, to dramatically proclaim that he’s spent too long hogging it, to threaten to turn off the hot water in a minute even if she never ends up doing it.

But this apartment houses only him, and is far away from that Academy, far away from all those precious yet painful memories. The tiles aren’t even the right colour, beige, off-white, and an intense white that could be comparable to that of a strobe light. The shampoo and body wash he’s bought—the same one she always used in the Academy, a subtle floral scent of roses—only serve to highlight all the differences he can find between his current bathroom and the one in his memories.)

The doorbell suddenly rings, insistent and unfaltering like a military march. Zero is sure it’s been modified because there’s no way a regular doorbell could be so annoyingly loud like the one he has. With the way it’s blaring in his ears every second, it’s clear that whoever’s behind the door won’t take his silent refusal as an answer.

The water continues to flow into the drain, taking with it the numerous dissolving blood tablets strewn across the wet floor.

For a moment, Zero allows himself to be deluded by the idea that it’s her behind the door—-she’d always been as stubborn as a mule when she put her mind to it. But it is the sound of the doorbell that echoes in his ears, not an annoyed rat-a-tat-tat followed by the creak of an opening door. What follows is sandy blond hair and the glint of spectacles. They stare at each other for a moment, the headmaster and him. Nearby, the water continues to flow.

Even now, Zero can never truly parse the emotion behind those glasses of his.

“You know she wouldn’t want to see you like this.”

And even now, the headmaster’s words are as precise as his killing blows. Hearing them, Zero flinches. They stab into him, tearing open wounds until the pain is nothing but white numbness. But the mention of her, as always, pushes him to move on the legs of a shambling corpse. His hand slams against the bathroom tiles; the force of it is always degrees lower than it could be.

“How do you know what she would’ve wanted?” His words are acrid, angry in a way he doesn’t want to explain. “She’s gone. She’s not coming back.” Zero grits his teeth, looking straight at Kaien Cross’s eyes before he spits out a final bout of venom. “She’s been dead ever since she became one of them.”

Yet like always, the headmaster’s calm never wavers. “You know, that it’s always been her. No matter if Yuuki,” the sound of her name, said aloud, led to the tiles cracking under his hands, “stayed human or not, She’ll always be Yuuki. Maybe she changed and grew up a little—faster than I would’ve wanted or liked—but at her core, she was always, always Yuuki. She didn’t die that day. You knew that fact as well as I did.” And here, Zero feels the weight of the executioner’s blade above him, about to drop. “Otherwise, why do you try so hard to keep them as separate entities, even now, when she’s truly dead and gone?”

Zero drops to his knees painfully, leaving marks of destruction behind on the walls. He covers part of his face with a hand, contemplating further denial with the truth laid out so plainly before him.

“I never…”

“You never told her your true feelings, and now she’s gone. Because it was easier to accept it if you felt as if you'd already mourned beforehand.” The headmaster’s voice is soft, almost as if reminiscing a similar scene. He crouches down and puts a hand on Zero’s shoulder. “Let it out, Zero. It’s only me and you now.”

There are no tears left for him to cry, but his throat tightens, and Zero hiccups out words all the same.

“I loved her. But she chose him.”

A ragged breath cuts his words short before Zero finds the strength to continue.

“I still loved her, even to the very end.”

The sky glows with a mix of different vibrant, brilliant colours—it’s an intensely beautiful scene, so much so that Zero wants to throw up. A cacophony of emotions welled up in him, knowing that such a view would be forever denied to the girl who was the most like the sun. He almost wishes that a storm would suddenly start, right at that moment.

But the sun continues to glow with a detestable radiance, and the days continue to go by relentlessly. The world does not wait for one man’s grief.

He goes back into his bedroom and sits on his bed. Afterwards, he brings out Bloody Rose.

A click, and he watches as the empty magazine drops to the ground with a heavy thunk. Mechanically, Zero goes through the familiar motions of reloading Bloody Rose. The gun hangs loose in his hands. When it’s done, still holding Bloody Rose, his arm raises, up, up. Its silver muzzle points under his exposed chin without even the slightest tremor, pressing firmly into the soft flesh.

He thinks about a girl, who, long ago, had rushed into a different room and wrenched this very gun out of his hands. Thinks of a life preserved for reasons he refused to believe was out of love. Thinks of a life, gone because it was loved so dearly.

The sunlight pierces through haphazardly closed curtains. A clock ticks in the background. He lets both the gun and himself fall on the bed.

His door is still closed.

(She’d wanted him to live)

Her blood still resides within him. But it lies, still, silent. Not a single iota of warmth flows in his body; it is ice in his veins in contrast to Kuran’s acidic poison. Were Zero to close his eyes and attempt to delude himself, he would simply fail from the get-go. Because Zero has always been faced with hard truths; so many times, he sees them over and over again—in the mirror, in the way he used to bite himself by accident and in the hunter’s bracelet on his desk.

She is gone and he must swallow down that bitter truth like the way he mindlessly consumes blood tablets.

(They scrape his throat, going down and making it uncomfortably dry; it tastes of overly sugared cough syrup; and he doesn’t want to, doesn’t wish to accept a world without her in it.

But her blood still lies.)

He dreams of her. Not always, but sometimes he does. On those days, when he wakes up, Zero can’t seem to muster up the strength to get out of bed. It’s easier to bask in the what-ifs and could-beens, or the has-beens and bygone halcyon days. Breathing is easier, living feels easier, being carried by fantasies and memories. He always has to stop himself from getting too carried away—because ultimately the world does not care. Time continues to march forward, the Earth continues to spin on its axis and around the sun.

Sometimes Zero wants to curse at her. Because no matter how easy it was at that moment, reality would always settle in as an infinite weight, caving his lungs beneath him. But he could never stay angry at her, no matter what she did, or what she became. Before, he had sworn to kill her—but really, he wouldn’t have minded had she put him to rest instead.

"Zero? Did you fall asleep in the stables again? Geez, what's with you always showing up late for the transition periods!" She punches him forcefully in the back a couple of times, unrelenting even in the face of his annoyance and mild pain. (He wouldn’t have it any other way)

“Ow, ow, ow, ow—! Oi, would you quit it already?” He turns to slap a large hand over her forehead, pushing her away from him with great resistance on her part. “I’m here now, aren’t I?” Zero doesn’t say it, but her puffed cheeks and flailing limbs make her look as ridiculous as she is cute, and he’s almost tempted to flick her in the forehead for good measure.

“Yes, yes, alright now stop pushing me!” She glares up at him, arms folded in annoyance. “Don’t forget that as the prefects, we have an important job to do—which means, stop being late!”

“By important job, you mean stopping a bunch of idiot classmates from throwing themselves into the slavering jaws of humanoid beasts?” Zero raises a wry eyebrow, watching her face gain a mildly exasperated look. When he turns to jab at the inevitable mass of lovesick, occasionally fanatic day-class students to further make a point, Zero finds that there’s no one there.

Right.

He turns back to look for her, but there’s no one there.

When Zero cooks breakfast for his birthday, he takes care to watch his food burn, forces it down his throat and makes sure it stays put. The eggs are rubbery, the toast is burnt, and the bacon is like chewing wood, but somehow he devours it with as much eagerness as a regular bowl of shio ramen.

She used to make such god-awful food.

(Zero finds vials of blood on his doorstep that day.

He practically guzzles the pills instead.)

"Hey Zero, I think this would look pretty good on you." She takes out the long coat with a flourish, holding it up next to him with a contemplative expression. Zero stares back blankly at her, knowing little about the intricacies of what was his “colour”, or what “went well with his eyes”. Sure, he has some preferences, but he finds that he doesn’t mind watching her pick out his clothes for it.

(It’s oddly domestic in that way, and he dreams of what could’ve been—had they been normal, had they not had destiny and duty looping around their necks like a noose)

The next day, he goes and buys himself another coat. Staring at its dark colours and its simple design, Zero wonders if this could’ve been something she would’ve chosen for him.

(He never wears it. Dust collects on the cloth, tints the fibres grey and overrides the fresh store-bought scent, but he never wears it.)

"Zero, we can stay together for the night, just like before—I’ll watch over your dreams, and you can watch over mine, ok?" Under the warm covers, she whispers this to him, and their fingers intertwine together. Her hands have always run colder than his, but even so, her hands are freezing—as cold as the dead.

When he wakes up, the space beside him on the bed is cold.

It has always been cold.

There is no grave, no stone marker, but he supposes that the Kuran Manor serves well enough as a reminder. The rumours don’t paint a pretty picture—the king of beasts, almost mad in his sobriety; the king of beasts, living only for memories and promises; the king of beasts, someone who’d crush you underfoot for his dreams without a second thought.

Standing in front of the tall, dark and rusting iron gates, Zero can almost choke on the overpowering scent of roses. They’re everywhere, in full bloom, mere buds, wilting or decayed. It’s a smell that only reminds him of what could have been, and what he let go of, of that fateful night in the academy.

Were it him, he would’ve planted sunflowers instead.

(Zero doesn’t enter. He knows how much Kuran hated him entering any space deemed as his own. It wouldn’t change now, half-mad as they both were.)

Violence is, perhaps, the only outlet that Zero knows will never let him down. There is release to be found when he hunts down level Es; there is no need for emotion, only cold, pure logic in which he can execute his duty as a protector (that he’d already failed so many times before). With every shot of his gun, every blast of the hunter’s sigil and every vampiric body blown apart into dust and ash, Zero puts to rest the grievances of so many others—but never his own.

Kaito no longer makes any sort of comment about such trips, only there to stop him from presumably losing his head and forcing the association to find yet another leader (or so he says, but they both know part of the association would be thrilled to find a reason to off him). Sure, Kaito mindlessly chatters about the surroundings and his day, but they both know that saying anything about her—no matter how sound his reasoning could be—would create a one-way ticket to the end of their friendship.

He tried, once. (“You can’t keep doing this to yourself. You have to accept the fact that she’s gone and that she didn’t choose you.” He’d paused then, reproach evident in his face before he continued. “She was a pureblood first.”

“She had been human.”

“Had.”

“And so had I been, once.”

“…Just don’t get yourself killed.”)

It’s nice to have someone stay. But he’ll never say it. People can’t stay simply because you want them to. Their decisions have always been their own.

Perhaps the universe had an ironic sense of humour if he was back to teach Cross Academy’s Day Class ethics of all things. The headmaster clearly made a mistake in forcing him to do what he flippantly called a “much-needed change of perspective”. Somehow Yagari, of all people, seemed to think that it’d be good for him to take up such a position in addition to his duties as both a hunter and the president of the hunter’s association.

“You’re a good kid, but you need a better head on your shoulders,” is all Yagari says on that matter, and off Zero goes into once more dealing with teenagers—this time as an adult rather than one of their peers. He half expects it to be just like before.

But it’s not.

Revealing the truth of the Night Class to the Day Class means that there are no more barriers between the vampires and humans of Cross Academy. Without the distance, there is not enough room for worship, and what is left are only two kinds of being, all simply trying to live in a new world.

Teaching ethics really means “filling in the gaps” so that vampire-human relations will go more smoothly. Unlike his mentor though, Zero thankfully doesn’t need to use either express or implied threats of violence to get his students to listen. And he finds that, with the truth revealed, the Day Class students now behave in much calmer ways—ironically, the truth had perhaps “humanised” the vampires for them.

They listen carefully to his teachings; Zero does his utmost to drill them into their heads, complete with drawings that are only marginally better than her toddler scribbles. He’s sure that when he’s out of sight and earshot, they laugh about it, just as they laugh alongside the vampires they’d once thought of as unreachable.

Watching it all from a distance, it almost feels unbearably nostalgic yet melancholic—because this had not been his world. Had she and Zero never been torn apart from the natural way of things, reborn and reforged in blood, they would have never met.

(He wonders if he would’ve dismissed her as nothing but a monster. If their old classmates would have thought of her as another pseudo-goddess to worship.)

Zero watches two worlds meld, and is not quite at peace, but at the very least, the memories, the “what ifs” here do not hurt.

However, it doesn’t take long for him to resign. In the end, Zero is better cut out for other things, rather than becoming another face in the crowd of the headmaster’s rampant eccentrics that he calls teachers. But, sometimes, seeing the world that she wished for, finally, slowly, starts to be created… The air is a little lighter, even as his throat aches. She would’ve liked to watch the two different classes fumble through cooking on their own.

Maybe he’ll make ginger pork stir fry tonight.

It’s years before he meets Wakaba Sayori again. Zero nearly forgets about her wedding, were it not for the Headmaster’s, and Kaito’s constant, unceasing reminders via letters and spoken words. The final nail in the coffin is the wedding invitation itself. If he doesn’t attend the wedding, he’s sure that someone will come to physically strong-arm him to the event.

The wedding itself is a rather small affair, given Sayori’s background and what he remembers of Aidou’s proclivity for dramatics. Maybe it was Sayori who’d wanted it. Or maybe it was a joint agreement. Zero doesn’t know either of them well enough to say, but he prefers it this way.

Staring at the happy couple—in the back of his mind—Zero morbidly wonders if death will also do them part earlier than expected. He’s quick to shut down that train of thought as soon as it appears. He wouldn’t wish such a feeling on anyone.

After the event, Zero keeps his copy of the wedding photo, keeping it safe with the other one that marked his first year of high school. Against the glossy sheen of the new photo, that one looks all the more faded; the new photo always feels as if it’s missing something.

She would’ve loved to see the wedding; would’ve been the maid of honour, lovely in gentle pinks and a happy blush on her cheeks.

He startles at the vision, dropping the photo book with an unceremonious thud.

The burn in his throat has never gone away since that fateful night of snow. But it’s now a familiar constant, easily relegated to the back of his mind. What does it mean? Zero doesn’t know, only watching as society changes, and as people grow to create a world where there could be true peace.

But it feels easier to breathe for himself, even as he continues to breathe for her. Zero isn’t sure if he’ll ever stop breathing—living—for her. It’s alright this way, and the dreams now leave him feeling more…fond rather than wanting.

It’s only a glimpse, but years and years later, Zero gets a chance to see how Kuran Kaname now fares in this still unfamiliar world. Despite his achievements and the iron-clad grip he has on the rest of the vampires—key in fostering the new partnership between humans and vampires—he rarely shows his face. Does the smell of roses, in its various stages of life, cling to him like a parasite? Or maybe it’s the other way around, with roses built within everything he owns, everything that he is.

As Zero contemplates, he thinks back to the regularly replaced sunflowers in his office and his flat.

When he sees him, Zero gets his answer.

Lounging on his throne, the smell of blood, dust and decay is attached to him like that of a rose with its thorns. Kaname Kuran stares emptily at everyone and nowhere, only occasionally opening his mouth to send orders. Within his hands is a resin-encased rose, looking worn and smooth from the years. His clothes don’t quite fit what he’s supposed to be, refined King of the Vampires. Rather, dressed in loose clothing, the apathy in his gaze, Kuran almost reminds him of—

(Zero tries not to think about it)

After so long, even hate will cool. They both loved, they both lost. It is a reality of the world that they live in. That she could not ever see the dream she wished for come to reality. In fact, looking at this sombre, cold, alone figure… He almost pities him. Kaname Kuran, top of the world but with no one left.

Could they see what Zero sees? The old Night Class no longer stands nearby, but at polite distances, looking almost weary. It was the kind of weariness that he was most familiar with.

After all, the hunter association had always looked at him this way.

Zero at least has the headmaster, has Kaito, has his teacher. Kuran has no one at all.

Even beasts could be pitiable.

(Yuuki knew that best, didn’t she)

Maybe it’s only fitting that he’ll die from protecting a child who looks so much like Yuuki. Not quite in the flesh, but more so in spirit—and wasn’t that the most important, most beautiful quality about her? Especially now, memory half-baked and succumbing to erosion over the years. In the face of time, it all crumbles to dust, just like his body is now; not even sure whether it is his or the bodies of mad vampires he’s slain.

Zero can see her crying, tears wetting his shirt, mixing with the dust in a way that he’d be mildly disgusted by were he not currently dying. “It’s alright,” he says, reaching out with hands that only smear more dust into her hair. Zero isn’t sure if the garbled sounds reaching his ears are truly words or not. Maybe the girl is speaking, maybe the girl is simply sobbing.

Or maybe he is already dead.

When he closes his eyes, Kiryuu Zero dies before a young girl’s eyes, leaving nothing but a pile of empty clothes and a silver gun.

The incessant ringing of an alarm is loud and annoying enough to cave metaphorically his skull in with its shrill noise alone. Grumbling, Zero burrows deeper into his blankets, covering himself fully in an attempt to block out the noise. It doesn’t fully work, but a partial solution is better than no solution at all, so Zero gets right back to falling asleep.

The heavyweight landing unceremoniously on top of his body puts an abrupt stop to that. “Zeeroo! We’re gonna be late for school again!” Ichiru whines, digging his pointy elbows right into Zero’s sides, knowing full well the exact location of his arms. He’s lucky that Zero loves him.

“Gerroff me, Ichiru,” he groans, the sound muffled by the blankets, gently shoving away at the incessant prodding. “We don’t even have to wake up until ten minutes later.”

“How do you even know that?” Questions Ichiru, switching up his tactics and physically smothering Zero in another attempt to force him out of bed.

“I pay attention in class rather than daydream about the divorced neighbour next door.”

Just as Ichiru is about to retaliate with a few choice words, the bedroom door bursts open to herald another arrival. “Zero! Get up, we're gonna be late!’ Kuran Yuuki rushes over to drag him out of bed with strength contrary to her small size. “Get up you lazy bum!” She promptly drops him on the ground, ignoring his affronted yell and Ichiru’s snickering in favour of rifling through his wardrobe.

“Good morning Yuuki!” Ichiru cheerily waves at her from Zero’s bed, delighting in the extra chaos and suffering added to his brother’s normal routine.

“Morning Ichiru!” She absent-mindedly chirps back, piling the different pieces of Zero’s uniform onto one arm. Halfway through, Yuuki looks back at Zero. “Oi, get up Zero! Aren’t you supposed to be the one with the best attendance record out of all of us?”

“I shouldn’t have messed with your alarm,” Zero grumpily mutters, not bothering to get up from the floor. From above, Ichiru barely attempts to stifle his laughter. “Stop laughing, Ichiru.”

Unfortunately for Zero, Yuuki could hear him perfectly well. Her body snaps around just in time for Yuuki to let out an outraged cry of, “You what?!”

At that, Zero groans, and Ichiru only laughs louder and harder.

(He wouldn’t trade this for anything else in the world)

#my writing #angst #vampire knight #fanfiction #zero kiryuu #kiryuu zero #tw grief #tw: suicidal thoughts #cw: suicidal ideation and an attempt #i really did not expect zero's part to get so long #but tbf this has been happening to my writing #i just keep thinking i could flesh out some parts more and then boom another couple hundred words or even 1k added with just one scene #radiant zeki #zero goes through it but it's arguably not as bad as with kaname because he has people to pull him back and tell him he's being dumb #and he knows it too #unlike kaname who literally has no one else who can tell him he's being stupid without fear of being killed

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futureman · 11 months

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come clean

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

summary: joel comes home after a messy day on patrol, but you're already in the shower

warnings: 18+ MDNI, fluff, language, getting together, slow buildup, jackson era, smut, handjob, f!masturbation, fingering, unprotected piv, rough sex, shower sex, size kink

word count: 4.7k

a/n: this one goes out to emotional support daydreams! as always, thoughts and feedback are always appreciated. hope y'all enjoy 💕

Joel’s having a rough day. It’s late, and he’s bone-tired and covered in…well, he’s not really sure what he’s covered in. Mud and bits of dead grass, definitely, but there's splotches of red on his jeans, too. He couldn’t tell you whether it’s his blood or something else’s—the adrenaline still hasn’t completely worn off, so it’s entirely possible he’s not feeling the full extent of his injuries yet.

His day hadn’t started that badly, but it wasn’t a typical morning, either. Maria had stopped him and Tommy at the gate to ask if they'd mind checking out a situation at the dam instead of patrolling their usual route.

Apparently, some of the machinery was acting up and the only person she trusted to oversee the repairs was Tommy. She honestly hadn't given much thought to Joel's part in all of it—their relationship is still pretty tense, even after his return to Jackson, so he was just along for the ride.

Things went downhill fast after they arrived at their destination. No one's really sure how the infected got into the facility, but it was a lucky thing Joel was there after all. With the help of a few guards, they were able to dispatch everything in and around the building without any bites or serious injuries but, boy, did they make a serious mess. Of the facility and the machinery they were supposed to help fix, and of Joel.

So now here he is, exhausted and dirty, getting shit from his kid when all he wants to do is get clean and take a fucking nap.

“Ew, gross,” Ellie groans, clearly not giving two shits about how badly Joel’s day is going or how little she’s helping right now. She had the day off and is somehow still watching movies in the same spot he left her in this morning. “Stop touching things! You’re getting shit everywhere.”

He ignores her and shrugs off his coat, walking into the living room to toss it over the back of his recliner, but she throws him a dirty look that stops him in his tracks.

"Whatever, m'gettin’ in the shower," he grunts, dropping it on the doormat instead. He'll probably have to burn that coat anyway if the stains and…odor are anything to go by.

"Uhhhh, no, actually you're not," she says matter-of-factly, and he raises his eyebrows, eyeing her expectantly when she doesn't elaborate.

"Why the fuck not?"

"Did your hearing get worse or something? Shower's already on,” she nods toward the stairs. He’s not sure how he didn’t notice the sound of running water filtering down from the second floor earlier, but now he’s annoyed that he can’t shower and that she might actually be right about his hearing.

"Well then, I'm waitin' here," he sasses back, taking a seat on the recliner with zero regard to the upholstery.

"Dude!" She’s starting to look as exasperated as he feels. And her reaction isn’t unwarranted. If he touches literally anything in this living room, they’ll probably have to burn it, too.

"Fine, fine, m'not touchin' anythin'," he stands back up, holding his hands up in surrender. "How long's she been in there?"

"Like, five minutes. Probably gonna be a while, knowing her,” she replies with an amused grin. Oh, so she thinks this is funny.

"The fuck do ya expect me to do then, stand here ‘til she's out?" He asks as if it’s not exactly what he’s been doing the entire time they’ve been having this conversation.

"As long as you don't sit on any of the furniture, I don't really give a shit what you do," she shrugs.

He rolls his eyes at her, running a hand down his face in frustration. He’s just about to give up and hose himself down in the yard when she finally offers a solution.

"You could just knock and see if she'll swap out with you. She basically just got in, anyway."

“Y’know what, I think I will,” he grumbles, heading upstairs to the bathroom and leaving Ellie to her shitty 90s sci-fi thriller. She shakes her head, laughing as she slips on her headphones.

“Don’t be too loud up there!”

But with his bad ears, he doesn’t hear her.

God, you needed this shower so badly. It's been a rough day, to say the least, and it’s finally time to get the relaxation you deserve. You got saddled with an extra patrol shift because two of the usual guys had a last-minute change of assignment, and it turned a typical day into an unbelievably exhausting one.

But tonight you got lucky. There was no one around to use up all of the hot water besides Ellie, who’s been glued to the TV all day, and you miraculously got home before Joel. So tonight, you get to enjoy the expensive bottle of shampoo you found at some fancy store in some fancy mall last month, and let yourself forget for a while that there’s fucking fungus monsters out there eating people.

That is—until someone knocks on the door and ends your perfect evening before it begins. Now you’ve got soap in your eyes, and you’re slightly worried because Ellie either needs something from the bathroom or the house is on fire. There’s never an in-between with her.

“Ellie? Everything okay?” you call out, really hoping it’s not the latter.

The voice that responds is muffled and decidedly much deeper than Ellie’s, and you’re momentarily taken off guard before you realize it’s not a burglar. It’s Joel—of course, it’s Joel. He probably got off his shift late and wants to clean up, and now you feel bad for making him wait and using up all the hot water.

You can’t really hear what he’s saying over the shower, so you slide the curtain open to poke your head out. “What? Sorry, I didn’t catch that.”

He tries to answer you again, or at least you think he does, but you still can’t make him out, so you tell him to come inside. The door only opens a crack, but it's so quick that there's no time to duck behind the curtain before Joel's face appears and you're both staring at each other blankly.

“…Hi,” you breathe out, praying it’s just your head and not the rest of your body peeking out. “So, um, what were you saying?”

He looks a little embarrassed and it’s adorable, but the thought only crosses your mind for a split second before you notice the rest of him. He’s—there’s really no nice way to say this, but he looks revolting.

There’s dirt everywhere. Matted in his hair, under his fingernails, all over his clothes. It looks like he’s been rolling around on the ground all day, and honestly, maybe he has. He’s also got…gross, is that a chunk of…? Nope. It looks like someone exploded in his face, and he needs a shower. Badly.

The only problem is you’re covered head-to-toe in soap, and you’re pretty sure you’ve only got about 15 minutes of hot water left.

He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. “Sorry to barge in on ya,” he mumbles, looking pointedly away from you. “I came up here to see if you wouldn’t mind pausin’ your shower for a bit, but I, uh…can see that’s gonna be a little difficult.”

You look down at yourself and, yeah, he’s right. You’re dripping water and soap all over the floor. Getting out now would be a pain in the ass, but he also really needs to get in.

“No, no. It’s totally fine! It makes way more sense for me to sit around soapy than for you to, um, stand around like that,” you reason. It’s his turn to look down at himself, and he grimaces. “Just turn around for a sec and we can swap.”

He nods, still looking sheepish, but grateful.

You duck back into the shower to shut the water off and gather up your toiletries to make room for his. You’ve already shoved half of your stuff to one side before you realize it was probably just a waste of time because there was already plenty of space—and that's when it dawns on you.

This stall is pretty big—as far as showers go, anyway. There's no reason you can't both fit in here at the same time. It's also not like he's never seen you naked before. You joined up with Joel and Ellie long before running water was in the picture, so you've had your fair share of awkward bathing encounters. Really, it's just a matter of whether or not he'll go for it.

You pop your head back out, taking a second to admire those strong, broad shoulders of his before getting his attention. Damn, he's a real catch. Hot and respectful. But seriously, he's so disgusting right now and it would be a shame to allow that to continue.

"Hey, Joel," you start, and he glances back carefully over his shoulder. You hesitate for a beat before continuing, “So, hear me out—what if we just…if we both showered…at the same time…”

He looks confused, and you realize how badly you botched that entire sentence. Okay, so talking around it didn't work. You take a deep breath to steady yourself before trying again.

"Just—just get in with me," you say softly. "We can shower together."

His brow furrows, eyes unreadable. He looks like he might be thinking it over, but his silence isn't exactly the most encouraging reaction in the world. Subconsciously, you hold your breath while you wait for an answer.

There’s no way he’s going to go for this, is there? It’s Joel. He can barely look at you in a tank top without blushing, let alone wet and naked. You’re not even sure why you bothered asking. It was clearly a dumb—

“Yeah, guess that makes sense,” he nods, turning back to you fully, and you swear he’s looking at you differently. That's…not what you were expecting. Not that you're complaining in the slightest. He's not even trying to hide his eagerness, and you're starting to think maybe he was waiting for you to ask all along.

"Well, come on in, cowboy."

Joel undresses slowly, eyeing what little of you he can see greedily, and it makes your cheeks burn. It’s like he can’t look away—from your eyes and lips, your collarbone. Even the tiny droplets of water that fall from your hair. It feels more intimate than any moment you’ve ever shared with Joel, and he hasn’t even touched you. Yet, hopefully.

You’re getting impatient. He's making a show of stripping down and it's taking everything you have not to get out of the shower and rip all of his clothes off yourself. His fingers are so thick, and more and more of his tanned, weather-worn skin is exposed to you as they work to unbutton his shirt.

You’re pretty sure you’re drooling at this point, imagining those fingers sinking deep inside you before you can stop yourself. Fuck, you're pent up. And should probably have a lot more shame, but now he's unzipping his jeans, and you feel like you're about to combust.

You let out a pained noise without meaning to and he chuckles, shaking his head as he picks up the pace. "I'm comin', I'm comin'," he teases, dropping his pants to the floor. "Why don't you get the water goin' for me?"

Now you're the one having trouble looking away. Damn, who even is this guy? He’s nothing like the Joel you’ve known for years, and definitely not the Joel who stepped into this bathroom ten minutes ago. If you'd known it would go like this, you would’ve invited him to shower with you a long time ago.

He’s down to just his boxers now, and maybe it's wishful thinking, but he looks like he’s already hard. Swallowing is suddenly extremely difficult, so you shoot him one last appreciative look before doing what he asked.

You turn the water back on and it’s still pleasurably warm as it rains down onto your tense shoulders. The steady pressure soothes some of the nerves while you wait for him to join you, but you’re so caught up in the moment that you don't notice the curtain opening.

"Scoot over," he murmurs behind you, his breath fanning out over the back of your neck. He’s close, so much closer than you expected him to be. You assumed you’d be dancing around each other for at least a little while longer, but it seems like Joel knows exactly what he wants, and it’s not just the shower.

He reaches around you to grab that expensive bottle of shampoo you’ve been looking forward to, his fingers grazing your bare skin, and you shiver despite the heat of the water.

“Or you could stay right here,” he says, even closer now, lips brushing the shell of your ear. “We could help each other out—with washin’ up, I mean.”

You inhale shakily, your reply getting caught in your throat. “Y-yes—yeah, yes…we should definitely do that,” you breathe out.

He chuckles and the sound is surprisingly affectionate. It gives you hope that this won’t just be a one-time thing. That after all this time, he wants you as much as you want him.

You’re the first to initiate physical contact, reaching back to bury your fingers in his hair which, in retrospect, turns out to be a terrible idea. He’s still filthy, and your fingers get caught in tangles and dirt and…probably a lot of other nasty shit you don’t want to think about.

You snort out a laugh, turning around to face him. “I think you’re up first, handsome.”

The corners of his mouth tip up as he nods, and you can’t resist the urge to reach up and trace his bottom lip with your thumb. He kisses the pad of your finger, and you wish so badly that it was your lips.

For the second time tonight, you’re feeling incredibly impatient. You want to feel more of him, let him press you up against the wall and kiss you, touch you the way you both want him to, but it’ll have to wait.

You pluck the bottle from his hands and squeeze a huge dollop into your palm, telling him to turn around with a small smile. His eyes drop to the quirk of your lips for a moment too long before he obliges, and you’re starting to realize he’s getting impatient, too.

You reach up to thread your fingers into his graying hair and, somehow, the strands still feel soft despite everything tangled up in them. It’s going to take a decent amount of scrubbing before it’s back to its normal, fluffy state of disarray, but you’ll make it feel good for him. A little taste of what's to come.

He tips his head back as you massage in the shampoo, letting out the softest groan when your fingernails scratch along his scalp, and you have to press your thighs together to relieve the growing ache in your core. You’re not going to make it through this shower if he keeps making noises like that. But, of course, he does, and they're getting louder.

You can feel his body starting to respond to yours, too. It’s a little cruel how you’re purposely working him up, sliding a washcloth over his shoulders and across his back, letting your fingers skim teasingly over his skin as you stretch your arms around him to reach his front.

His stomach flexes under your palm, and he inhales sharply as your hardened nipples graze across his back. You continue your path down, running your fingers through the coarse hair at the base of his cock, and his hips jerk forward, seeking the friction you so desperately want to provide. He's panting, and you're both having a difficult time holding yourselves back.

Brown and red swirl in the water around your feet and down the drain, and it's enough to tell you that he's finally clean. And that you can finally touch him the way you want to.

Pressing yourself firmly against his back, you reach down to wrap your fingers around his cock and he feels huge in your hand, rock hard and pulsing with his racing heartbeat. You pump him a few times, giving him a firm squeeze at the base, and he keens, already leaking all over himself.

He braces a hand on your hip to steady himself as you trail open-mouthed kisses down his spine, digging his fingers in roughly when you slowly start to jerk him off in earnest.

"T-that's it, pretty girl—,” he pants heavily, eyes dropping down to watch you work him, and you twist your wrist up on the next stroke, thumbing over his head. "Keep goin', just like that."

You whimper damply against his skin at the pet name, feeling a pleasurable whoosh in your belly as your cunt drips pathetically down your thighs. The throbbing between your legs is almost unbearable, but you don't want to let him go, not when his hips are meeting your fist so fucking desperately. You wedge a hand between your bodies, slipping it lower and lower until your fingers rub against your slick folds, gathering some of the wetness to rub soothing circles into your clit.

“I got you, I got you,” you moan at the sudden relief. Your caresses start to match his thrusts, and soon he's trembling in your arms, whimpering like he'll cum any second if you let him. You rub your cheek tenderly against his back, murmuring soft, encouraging words into his heated skin.

"You're doing so, so well," you tell him, and he seizes up at the praise, chest heaving as you focus your attention closer to the tip. "You wanna cum or are you gonna wait for me? Want you to fill me up…can you do that for me?"

For a second, you think your words might've thrown him over the edge, his hips stuttering against your palm even as you slow your movements. But he's still clearly fighting the urge to cum, and that has to mean he wants to fuck you badly.

His hand shakes as it lifts to wrap around yours, guiding you down to squeeze the base of his cock to stave off his orgasm, but you're not making it easy for him. You barely notice your other hand still working your pussy, too turned on to realize you've started pumping two fingers in and out of yourself.

Joel notices, though. Something that sounds almost animalistic tears its way out of his chest as he turns on you, snatching your hand out of your cunt and slamming it against the shower wall. Your fingers are shiny and glistening with your wetness and he leans forward to suck each of them into his mouth, groaning at your taste on his tongue.

The look on his face makes it seem like you're the best meal he's ever had, and you feel a strong, sudden urge to have his tongue in your mouth so you can taste yourself. He pulls off your middle finger with an audible pop, and then you're crashing your lips into his, immediately licking into him.

God, why do you taste so good in his mouth? It's salty and heady, and really shouldn't be as hot as it is, but you can't bring yourself to care as his tongue tangles with yours. You feel two—shit, no, it’s three—of his fingers slip into you, and, holy fuck, they're so much bigger than yours. You're already so full and they feel even thicker at the base, nudging a spot that makes you see stars.

There's no way his cock is going to fit inside you…right? But the thought of him trying anyway almost makes you cum on the spot. Another wave of heat crashes through you and your walls convulse around him, pussy gushing down his fingers, and he abruptly breaks away from your lips, groaning lowly, desperately.

"Fuck, I-I need—shit, I need to fuck you, pretty girl," he twitches against you, leaking a glob of precum as he ruts into your belly. “M'gonna fill ya up real good, just like you wanted—," and you gasp, clamping down on his fingers one more time before he's pulling them out and hauling you into his arms, your legs quickly wrapping around his waist as he shoves you higher up the wall.

His hands roam your skin hungrily before eventually settling under the soft swell of your ass, holding you up as he slicks up his cock between your folds. Every time the tip catches your clit, your hips buck clean off the wall and he presses into you harder to keep you in place. You bury your face in his neck, thighs squeezing into his sides.

"S'not gonna fit," you slur, a little drunk off how good he feels between your legs. The next time his hips buck forward, the blunt head of his cock catches your entrance. "J-Joel—ngh…Joel, s'too big, you have to make it fit, please."

And that's when his patience runs out.

He sheathes himself to the hilt in one harsh thrust, growling roughly into your hair, and the stretch is mind-numbing. He stays deep, letting you adjust to the feeling of being split open, and his head drops to your shoulder. His eyes are locked on where you're joined, your pussy stretched around him almost obscenely.

"Would'ja look at that," he mumbles to himself, rocking in and out slowly as he turns his head to suck a bruise into your collarbone. You reach a hand down curiously, wanting to feel yourself around him, and your jaw drops when your fingers brush where his thickness is forcing your cunt to yield to him. "Knew you could take me…pussy feels s-so fuckin' good, like you were made for me."

You whine pathetically as the ache starts to subside and the need for him to fuck you becomes overwhelming. Pleasure blooms where he's already grazing that heavenly spot again, and you tug his head back by his hair, bringing his attention back up to you.

Everything pauses, just for a moment. You kiss his lips delicately, so much more delicate than he's about to be with your body but, right now, you need him to know that it's more than this for you. More than the sex and the physical intimacy. And the way he kisses you back reassures you beyond a doubt that it's more than this for him, too.

Then, your patience runs out.

"Joel, move."

And suddenly, he's spearing up into that spot deep inside you with reckless abandon, bouncing you on his cock, and you're not entirely sure, but you might actually be screaming.

Your head lolls back, thudding dully against the wall, and he ducks down to wrap his lips around your nipple, tongue circling the nub as he continues you work you up and down his shaft. The sound your pussy's making around him should be humiliating, but it only spurs him on, the wet squelching echoing loudly over the running water.

"Hear that? That's all you, baby. So fuckin' wet, look at that," and he's watching himself again in awe as he fucks in and out of you. You follow his gaze and, holy shit, he's not kidding. You're absolutely soaking him. "You look so good like this, so goddamn pretty stretched around my cock."

You still haven't completely acclimated to how thick he is, not sure you ever actually will, and the syrupy-sweet pain of him has you clawing at his back. You use the wall as leverage, arching just enough so you can actively meet his thrusts, and the new angle sends you reeling.

"Feels so…full, so full," you gasp, your back inching higher up the wall with the force of his thrusts. "K-keep going…there, Joel, there."

It's not just that one spot he's hitting anymore—fuck, it feels like he's everywhere. The ridge of his cock is rubbing your walls just right and every other thrust fucks deep enough to graze your cervix. You sob at the onslaught of overpowering pleasure, burying your hands in his hair to tether yourself as your brain begins to fizzle.

Just a little more, you only need a little bit more. You can feel the lower half of your body locking down and, as if he can sense exactly what you need, he grinds his cock in as deep as it'll go.

"That's it, baby. C'mon, give it to me," he grits against your throat. "Squeezin' me so fuckin' tight, you're almost there."

The coarse hairs at the base of his cock scrape roughly and a little painfully against your swollen clit as you rock against him, but the slide is still so slick and raw that your thighs begin to quake around his waist, and it's—fuck, it's so…so…

"M'gonna fucking cum—gonna…oh fuck, fuck, Joel," your lips part around what you pray is a silent scream and your body goes rigid, cunt spasming violently around him.

He chokes out a moan as you clamp down impossibly tighter on his cock. "Fuckin' hell, there we go," he rasps out shakily as he fucks you into the wall blindingly hard, letting you ride him through your orgasm.

"So, s-so good. Feels so fuckin' good," he's starting to mumble to himself deliriously, squeezing your ass hard enough to bruise. You whimper helplessly as his thrusts get sloppier and more desperate, "Gonna fill you up 'til it's leakin' out…c-can I, pretty girl? Please…bet you'd look so fuckin' good with my cum spillin' out of you—"

Before you can even answer, you feel him throb and then his entire body stills, his cock visibly pulsing as he empties into you. He moans his way through it, his head dropping to your shoulder again to watch himself pump you full of cum just like he said he would.

If you thought you felt full before, it's nothing compared to how you feel right now. He's still so deep, twitching pathetically inside you as he lifts his head to nose at the underside of your jaw. He presses a soft kiss there and you sigh, wrapping your arms and legs around him tighter.

"Christ, Joel, where did that come from?" you rasp out. He chuckles, and his whole body shakes with it, jostling his hips into your sensitive clit. Your pussy flutters around him and his breath hitches, fingers digging into the softness of your thighs. He still hasn't pulled out and you have a feeling he doesn't want to.

"Been waitin' a long time for that," he murmurs, meeting your eyes. You smile softly, and your lips command his attention. "Waited a long time for you."

So full of surprises tonight. You’ve traveled with him for years, settled down with your kid, but you never expected this. For him to finally feel the same way you do, to fuck you like that. You’re suddenly extremely thankful he came home in dire need of a shower.

You run your hands up his chest, settling one on his shoulder and burying the other in his hair. The dirt, the grime—it's all gone now, replaced by your release and the sweat of your exertion. He smells so good, just like your fancy shampoo. Just like home.

You lean in to kiss him deeply and he melts into you, his lips soft and warm against yours. When you part, you're met with that look again. The one he gave you after you asked him to shower with you, and that he hasn't stopped giving you since. Like he's observing you, contemplating you.

You recognize it now—it's hope.

"I've been waiting a long time for you too, Joel."

He kisses you again, holding you close as the water goes ice cold.

thanks so much for reading! 🥰

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #tlou fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #joel miller

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ao3commentoftheday · 2 years

Note

I've been writing fics for a long time and I remember a time when even the smallest of fics and stories used to get a lot of engagement from their readers, even back in the days of fanfiction net and ye old forum fics. These days, one's lucky if someone leaves a kudos, let alone a simple comment. Did something about fandoms change? Did it become more consumer like?

Personal opinion? It's not just a fandom thing. It's a "web 3.0" (or whatever we're calling the modern internet) thing.

Today's internet is set up for maximum scrolling and minimal effort. Tiktok is an incredibly popular platform, in large part because there is zero thought that needs to go into watching on it. Youtube requires viewers to read the video title, look at the thumbnail, and make a decision. Tiktok just serves it right up for you.

Other social media sites are attempting to follow suit, easing the path of consumption to keep those eyeballs in place so the ads (and therefore the money) can flow. Everything from news sites with click bait links at the bottom of a story to online stores with "people who viewed this item also looked at this" - the entire internet is set up to keep people moving from one thing to the next without stopping.

AO3 isn't social media. It isn't news. It isn't shopping. There's no algorithm pushing content. There's no "you liked this story? here's another one just like it!" message when you reach the end of the fic.

But people get into certain habits. Just like people who are used to Wattpad use the word "books" instead of "fics" when they start reading on AO3, people who are used to watching a thing and then scrolling on are in the habit of seeing a thing and then moving on.

It will depend on your fandom, of course. And how popular a particular ship or trope is. My last fandom was full of people who'd started out in the LJ or FFN eras of fic, or the early days of AO3 and maybe that's why commenting was so common. Or maybe it was because the early fans in that fandom created a culture where commenting and kudosing was seen as just... what you do.

I don't really think of it as being connected to age at all. I see it more as being connected to comforts and habits. But it's also connected to expectations, community, culture of that particular corner of fandom in particular. These days, I hear a lot of the discussion and recs and squee happens in discord servers instead of on the fics themselves. And that might be because that's where the community is.

I also wonder (with no basis beyond my own gut) whether that period of several years where there was rant after rant here on tumblr about how to comment "correctly" might have made people comment less. I know that if I hadn't been in the habit already, seeing the anger addressed at commenters in some of those posts would have made me decide that I wasn't brave enough to risk it in case I did something wrong.

It's a simple question with no simple answers, but here's half a dozen thoughts I have in my head at any given time. I hope it gives you some insight? Or at least some things to consider.

#asks and answers

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castieltrash1 · 1 year

Text

the devil has come home → charlie w.

summary → during one of your regular movie nights, charlie asks to take your relationship a step forward

word count → 3.4k

warnings → smut; virgin!charlie x f!reader, oral, literally an entire fic dedicated to charlie eating pussy idk what u want me to say, dirty talk, switch!charlie, established relationship, almost fingering, premature ejaculation, cumming untouched, overstimulation, and hair pulling

a/n → everyone and their mother is in their rory culkin era rn so here u go, whores (affectionate) <3 no but fr i watched scream 4 the other day and knew what i had to do so pls enjoy xoxo

+ bonus points to whoever can figure out the title ;)

---

Charlie shifts beside you, gnawing at his bottom lip to restrain the interruption on the tip of his tongue.

“Did you know,” he suddenly begins, unable to stop himself. “That the school is actually called Ewen High in the book?” On the screen in front of you, a meek Carrie White stumbles through the library in a scene oddly similar to your boyfriend’s own reclusive attitude, and you drag your tired eyes to meet his; wide, with an excited glint reflecting off their pale blue hue. “They renamed it in the adaptation as a nod to Psycho.”

“Really?” you ask, surprised. “I don’t think you’ve told me that one yet.” The comment, while honest, makes Charlie flustered, and he unconsciously shifts closer to the opposite end of the couch. “But I like hearing about all the facts you know,” you reassure his silent insecurity, nuzzling closer. Pressing your lips to his shoulder and kissing the soft cotton sleeve of his shirt, you continue, teasing: “Even if I have heard most of them before.” He groans, but his chest rumbles beneath you with his own restrained amusement.

Peering up at Charlie, you prepare for what is bound to be a lengthy explanation. “So, what, it’s like Norman Bates?” you ask, but Charlie simply nods, mumbling a quiet affirmation under his breath. Already, his eyes are locked back on the television, colorful lights bouncing off his face. It must be his tenth time watching the classic horror film but he stares with the amazement of a first-time viewer, as if he wasn’t rambling about something called a split diopter shot just a few scenes ago.

You can’t help but smile at his quick shift in attention, ultimately content with settling down and letting him focus. As long as a scary movie is playing, you’ll always be the second most important thing in the room to Charlie; a title you hold with pride. Unlike others in his life, his passion doesn’t bother you. In fact, you find yourself admiring his ability to juggle a film studies degree, the leadership position of your college’s cinema club, and weekly series rewatches with the rest of his busy life. Your only complaint would be having to share the small couch in his apartment with Robbie, whose presence makes the already rare mid-movie makeout session completely non-existent. Thankfully, he’s visiting family this weekend, but the lack of a clingy roommate has seemingly had zero effect on Charlie’s inclination to make a move.

So, when your boyfriend awkwardly clears his throat, you quickly tune back in, caught off-guard by the scene unfolding. On-screen is a vivid reminder of the part of your relationship that, up until now, has been virtually unexplored. Despite being unphased during the naked locker room title card, Charlie now fidgets uncomfortably as one of the male characters, whose name you can’t remember, receives a blowjob in his car. The actual act is offscreen, but there’s enough crotch-leveled head bobbing in the camera’s view to surmise what’s happening below the cutoff.

When it comes to anyone else’s sex life, Charlie is as interested as you could expect any newly independent young guy to be. If a couple is getting handsy during a party or other gathering, he’s the one to speak up and tease them about getting a room. When one of your friends unknowingly makes an innuendo, it’s him who laughs, derailing the conversation with some form of that’s what she said joke. Even during the gratuitous nudity scenes popular in his favorite genre, your boyfriend usually pairs his reddened cheeks with a low whistle of appreciation.

Simply put, Charlie is not a prude.

That fact had been what stumped you as your relationship grew, regular milestones coasting by at average speeds. It took three instances of him not reaching under your bra during makeout sessions, happily groping at your chest through two layers of clothes, for you to realize that his personal experience ended abruptly atop second base. Even when it was physically obvious he was ready to move on, Charlie had never mentioned or hinted at continuing, so neither did you. Now, it’s almost as if the glaring depiction of a couple being intimate has finally reminded him how little you two have done.

Thankfully, a bout of bad editing eases the sudden tension. “How is she talking right now?” you snort, referencing the actress’ voiceover poorly edited into the scene. Charlie flinches at your interruption, but you barely notice, too busy jabbing your pointer finger directly at the screen. “She’s still got John Travolta’s dick in her mouth!”

“Billy,” Charlie tensely corrects.

Assuming his tone is just a result of your outburst, you roll your eyes. “Whatever. All I’m saying is you can barely remember how to breathe while giving head, let alone start… I don’t know… monologuing about the girl you hate.” You huff, shaking your head. “Sorry, I won’t interrupt again. Promise,” you apologize, feeling a wave of guilt wash over you when Charlie doesn’t immediately reply. You hadn’t meant to insult him or the movie, but maybe your attempt at a bad joke had fallen short, too personal and poorly timed to do anything more than hurt his feelings.

You start to pull back, intent on apologizing again but are surprised to see Charlie already staring at you. Thinking he’s waiting for your regretful spiel, you start to speak. “I’m s-”

“I want to try,” Charlie says at the same time. The rest of your words suffocate in your hitched breath, offering a subsequent silence that he quickly tries to fill. “Giving you head or, like, e-eating you out, I mean.” The admission makes him swallow heavily, wide eyes unblinking, and you sit there motionless in surprise. When you offer little more than a shaky exhale in response, Charlie squeaks out an excuse. “Not that we - not that you have to or anything, I just…” Regret spreads across his face and you quickly recover, grabbing his shaking hand with yours.

“Okay,” you agree, trying to steady your breathing as the image of Charlie between your thighs flashes through your head. “Are you sure?” He nods so quickly that you almost blink and miss it.

“I’m definitely sure,” Charlie reassures, squeezing your fingers between his. “A-are you?”

“Definitely,” you echo, already feeling a steady warmth spread across your body. Despite your shared revelation, there’s a long moment where neither of you moves even an inch, hands clasped together as if carved from one marble stone. It isn’t until Charlie’s gaze flickers to your still-parted lips that you take the bait, reeled closer and closer until your mouth meets his.

“Fuck,” Charlie breathes, words becoming a muffled vibration when you press harder, tongue dragging to gather the taste of him. You reach for his hair now, dark waves weaving themselves between each of your fingers, and he lets out a little whimper when you tug, pulling him against you. His grip seems to have no end in sight, blindly reaching at and grasping whatever parts of you he can, fingers meeting your thighs, hips, chest, and neck. His thumbs prop up your chin, giving him the angle to lick needily inside your mouth, and you melt in his grasp, letting him take what he needs.

“Can I…” Charlie leaves a shallow bite mark on your bottom lip, soothing it with a gentle pass of his tongue. His fingers dip to the hem of your shirt now, tips brushing the inside seam. Faintly, you remember he’s never felt you here. He inches back just enough to speak clearly, voice filling the thin space between you. “Y-you can take it off and…” Already, he’s trying to pull the offending garment over your head, and you let go of his hair to help, tossing your shirt to the side the second you can.

Despite your arching into him, Charlie doesn’t immediately kiss you again, lashes fluttering as he stares shamelessly at your exposed skin. Without thinking, you reach back to undo your bra clasp with ease, straps sliding down your arms until they fall off completely. Still amazed by the previous sight, Charlie inhales sharply, pupils blown out with lust as you become barer in front of him.

“Woah…” he finally breathes, fingers tentatively brushing right below your chest. Slowly, his touch inches higher until he gives in, cupping your tits softly. The warmth between your thighs grows as he feels you in ways you’ve only imagined alone at night, eyes squeezed shut and fingers under your panties. “Holy shit.” Each exclamation falls under his breath as if he can’t contain them, commenting only to himself. “Fuck…” His grip tightens, thumbs dragging over your hardening nipples, and you sigh. “You’re so… soft.” With a grin spreading across his face, Charlie looks to you for reassurance, squeezing harder when you nod and let out a pleased sound. “D-does it feel good?”

“Mhm.” You wonder if he can feel your heart pounding, skipping beats against his hands. “You can be rougher, though,” you tell him, reaching up to lay your palms on the back of his. “I’ll tell you if it hurts, I promise.” Growing more confident from your words, Charlie begins experimenting with different levels of pressure, nails digging into your skin one second and then pinching and tugging at your nipples the next. His breathing grows heavier with each passing moment, and you can’t help the low moans escaping your lips at the feeling of his desperation and the excitement radiating off of him.

And then, without needing any reassurance, Charlie replaces his hands with his mouth, sucking eagerly at every inch of your heaving chest. “S-shit,” you gasp, then let out a breathy laugh. You push some of his long hair back, tucked behind his ears, and smile at the sight of him. His eyes are closed, face red and warm, lips slick with spit as he runs his tongue against the contours of your body. “You’re so good,” you tell him, panting when he moans against you at the praise, the vibration tingling your skin. He wraps his mouth around your nipple before pulling it between his teeth, the sharp sting sending a shiver up your spine.

“I could do this forever,” Charlie lets go to admit, and then, remembering the task at hand, begins to descend lower, kissing and licking down your bare stomach. His hands steady your twitching hips, ticklish as his soft hair brushes your sensitive skin. You continue to whisper praises until he reaches the waistband of your pajama pants and halts. He swallows heavily, the movement of his bobbing throat almost audible above the drone of the television. You blindly reach for the remote and crank down the volume until it plays a low buzz of sound you can barely make out. God help him if your boyfriend gets distracted by a bucket of pig’s blood at a time like this.

“Do I just…” Charlie trails off, unable to vocalize his thoughts. Instead of answering verbally, you lift your hips, fingers meeting his. You drag the elastic past your thighs, letting Charlie pull the rest of the fabric off once it reaches your knees. He stares intently at every inch of your exposed legs, amazed by the sight, as he mindlessly tugs your feet free. It’s only when you start to move, making yourself comfortable against the arm of the couch, that Charlie finally shifts, offering you more space. He moves closer the second he’s able to occupy the emptiness between your legs.

It’s not the most ideal position but if you stop him now, Charlie might lose his boost of confidence in the few seconds it takes to walk down the hall to his room. With one knee pressed against the back of the couch, your opposite leg balancing precariously on the edge of one of the cushions, you spread out as much as you can, offering yourself to Charlie entirely. Even with your whole body on display, his eyes stay locked on one spot: the center of your underwear, where a wet spot is surely visible. You love knowing the only other time he has this look is when one of his favorite films is on.

“Is this good?” you ask, breaking him from his stupor. He blinks, confused. “The position,” you clarify, smiling at the blush that rapidly coats his cheeks.

“Y-yeah, it’s…” Charlie clears his throat, leaning in slowly. “It’s perfect. You are, I mean. You’re perfect,” he whispers, gaze darting from your face to your panties before returning. “I can see it… Does it - do you feel good?” Even with the physical proof, he seems unsure, the tone of his question bordering on disbelief. Before you can find your words, he moves in, shaky fingers meeting the inside of your thighs. “What can I do?” he asks, skin growing redder with desperation. “I-I wanna turn you on more and-”

“Charlie,” you interrupt, propping yourself up on your elbow. “You’re doing so good.” Your amazement thankfully doesn’t embarrass him, and soon enough you feel his warm exhale right where you’ve imagined him so many times before. “I-I’ll probably cum pretty fast,” you tell him, unable to make the desperate confession sound like a tease. “If you want, you can tease me through- fuck,” you gasp, feeling Charlie’s nose bump against your clothed clit, his tongue darting out to tentatively lick at the damp fabric covering you. You whimper something that vaguely sounds like his name when he presses harder, now dragging his tongue over the entirety of your core.

“Charlie,” you repeat breathlessly, grabbing at the hair that frames his face. “T-take them off, please,” you suddenly find yourself begging, hips arching for more. When lithe fingers brush against you, you almost whine at what is surely an attempt at teasing, but then Charlie is pushing your panties to the side and tentatively sucking at your now exposed cunt. Overwhelmed by the change in sensations, you buck into the feeling, immediately rewarded by the slow drag of Charlie’s tongue circling your clit before lowering to ease inside you. The technique in his actions is not lost on you and you heave in a breath, trying to speak.

“Y-you’ve really n-never?” you squeak out, thighs squeezing around his cheeks when he attempts to shake his head. When he pulls back, you shiver at the feeling of your panties sliding back into place, fabric sticking to your wet skin. Charlie looks up at you shyly, instinctively licking his lips clean of your arousal.

“I’ve… I’ve imagined this a lot,” he whispers, tone rising as he grows more confident. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this.” His cheeks are flushed and his body shakes as he clings to you for support in every form. “I’m just gonna take off your panties and- and I want you to cum, okay? Don’t hold it back or anything, please. I-if you need to hold me in place or move me, just do it. I’ll…” Stunned by his proclamation, you wait in awe for him to finish. “I’ll be good for you, I swear,” he finally promises.

True to his word, Charlie immediately resumes the task at hand, finally tugging your panties completely off and shoving them to the side. Despite the vulnerability of your position, laid bare for him, you can’t stop yourself from bucking your hips when he leans back in. Charlie drags a soothing palm down the inside of your thigh before his mouth is on you again, now slower and more precise. His gaze is focused, flickering between your expression and body, taking in every shift of your features and shiver that runs across you.

He starts by tasting the entirety of you, tongue flattened and firm as it glides against your cunt. He repeats the motion a few times, letting you grind onto him until you both build a steady rhythm. It’s not enough to make you cum, but it isn’t meant to be; a consistent sensation that keeps you wanting more, without unbearably teasing you. That comes when Charlie begins to flick his tongue against your clit, so quickly and effortlessly that it takes your breath away. A litany of sounds escapes you as he dedicates all of his attention to your most sensitive spot, torturing it endlessly. His own moans only add to the sensation, a low vibration that seems to trail up the rest of your body, filling your head with a rhythmic buzz.

“Fuck,” you gasp, vision blurring and thighs trembling as Charlie replaces his tongue with his thumb, calloused skin circling your clit in a steady motion. With his mouth free, and between quick inhales, he starts to speak again.

“You taste so good,” he says, the vulgarity of his words no longer seeming to phase him. He rubs harder, faster, and his breathing hastens. “I-I want you to cum on my tongue, please?” His question sounds more like a plea, especially with the way he seems to pant around each word. “I’m gonna keep licking h-here, okay?” he asks, thumb dragging lower until the tip sinks into you with ease. Both of you still, the motion propelling the room into complete silence. Charlie lets a bit more of his thumb push into you before he pulls back completely, shakily exhaling. “It… You’re so warm,” he remarks, staring intently at where the arousal slowly drips from you. Like a moth to a flame, his mouth returns, messily licking clean your wetness.

You cry out his name, tugging on his hair so harshly you know it must hurt, but he doesn’t relent. Your hips buck and you grind your clit against his firm thumb, his tongue pressing inside you just as the thick digit had moments prior. Your mantra is only quietened by the sound of Charlie’s, a muffled please, please, please mouthed against your core that has you spiraling, desperation mirroring his. A quick glance shows you that while his head and hands are focused, the rest of his body is uncontrolled as he ruts against the sofa, so turned on he can’t help but chase release.

The sharp edge of your own impending orgasm hits you so hard it seems to isolate the rest of your senses, body and mind falling into an endless abyss with only Charlie’s touch anchoring you to the present. His incessant effort to satisfy himself with your pleasure intensifies everything until you find yourself succumbing to his ultimate desire. A broken admission falls from your lips as you cum on his tongue, neverending high propelled as his licking and rubbing only grow in speed and desperation. Even after you’ve stopped grinding against him, Charlie tastes you like it’s his last chance, his hips bucking wildly into the cushion below. He eventually slows, but his tongue doesn’t stop, and you’re too overwhelmed to realize what’s happened.

It takes you whimpering from overstimulation and pulling Charlie back by his hair to make him stop, his mouth chasing you even after you’ve pressed your trembling thighs together, knees digging into his heaving chest. After a few seconds, he seems to blink back some clarity, swallowing heavily and shifting back awkwardly, cheeks flushed bright red. “Charlie?” you breathe, shakily pushing yourself into a sitting position. “Are you - oh.” Despite his quick maneuvering, the new angle allows you to see the slowly spreading wet spot at the front of his jeans.

“I-I’m so sorry,” Charlie squeaks out, trying to yank himself from the couch. “Let me just - fuck, uh - go to the bathroom or something and…” When he tries to cover his crotch with his hands, you bat them away, immediately reaching for the zipper and button on his pants. “W-what are you doing?” he asks but doesn’t stop you, even when you ease his sensitive and spent cock out from his stained underwear. His expression is pure shame as he quickly hardens in your grasp, hips bucking to escape the overstimulation of your fingers wrapped around him.

“Let me return the favor,” you tell him, tilting your head softly in silent questioning. He must only think of the wetness of your mouth on him since his blush deepens, cock twitching against your slick palm. You stroke him slowly and softly until he stutters out a yes, which you reply to with a widening grin, unknowing that he’s imagined this moment more than you could ever guess.

You lean down with a teasing imitation of his previous word and Charlie suddenly feels all of his wet dreams come true.

“I want you to cum on my tongue, okay?”

#charlie walker smut #charlie walker #scream 4 #scream 4 smut #rory culkin #rory culkin smut #charlie walker x reader #charlie walker imagine #charlie walker oneshot #charlie walker fanfic #scream 4 fanfic #scream 4 imagine #scream 4 oneshot #charlie walker x reader smut #fic: the devil has come home #t: writing

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samkerrworshipper · 7 months

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two’s a company, three’s a crowd | alexia putellas x reader x lucy bronze

warnings: heavy smut, cunnilingus, fingering, sex toys, 18+ minors DNI

6000 words that y’all have been begging for and full disclaimer i have written this at 4am on a red bull high so sorry if it isn’t completely coherent xoxo

“Remember what I promised you?”

I was kneeling on the floor beside our bed, a blindfold over my face.

“I’d get a reward if I was a good girl, ma’am.”

I kept my head bowed, facing what I assumed was our floor boards, but I couldn’t tell you for sure because I couldn’t see.

“Do you think you were a good girl?”

I gulped soundly, it could be a trick question, an attempt to catch me out, or prove me wrong. Or it could be a legitimate question, it was a 50/50 chance.

“I tried my hardest ma’am, I think I was good.”

My words held some uncertainty, but not enough for it to be detected, a perfect balance of confidence and self consciousness.

“I think so too, enough that I think you deserve your reward.”

I perked up a little bit at the words, my knees were starting to get sore from the floorboards so anything to get me up off them would be better than this.

“If you think so, ma’am.”

I felt a hand tugging at my scalp, a change from the complete nothingness I’d felt for a while now, it had me jolting in my position, slightly shocked by the contact.

My head was tugged backwards, no longer facing what I assumed was the floor. Tilting it back as far as I could go so I was now assumedly looking at the roof.

“I think so, I think you’ll need to see to properly have this reward though.”

My curiosity was growing by the minute, I was silently becoming more desperate by the second to discover what exactly she was referencing.

I blinked furiously as the silk blindfold was tugged down, so it was pooling around my neck. It took my eyes a few seconds to adjust to the sudden light, but once they did I could make out Alexia, who was standing directly above me, her eyes and eyebrows quirked just a little bit, in that cheeky way she did when she was up to something.

“Give our guest a proper welcome.”

My eyes snapped away from Alexia’s, searching around the room before spotting the intruder that Alexia had been referencing, sitting on the armchair in the corner of the room.

“L-Lucy?”

The lights in our room were dimmed but I was fairly certain that it was her, Alexia’s mind never ceased to amaze me. I suddenly felt very self conscious, my hands going to whatever parts of my naked body that they could cover. They weren’t there for long though, Alexia’s hands slapping at them very quickly.

“No being shy, if tonight goes how I planned Lucia will be seeing far more of you.”

My spine shuddered, so this really was what I had been thinking.

“Do you want that? Do you want to be a good girl for Lucia and I?”

I nodded frantically at Alexia, leaving absolutely zero room for doubt in my actions.

Alexia smirked down at me, she knew me so well, knew exactly how to turn me into putty in her hands. We’d talked about this, casually, her asking me over breakfast one morning if the situation arose I’d be comfortable with bringing someone else in. Initially I’d choked on my tea, and then I’d told her I was very open to the idea, that if it was what she wanted I would definitely be down for it, I just hadn’t expected so soon, or with Lucy. If I was being honest I’d assumed if anyone would ever join Alexia it would be Mapi, just because of the close relationship we had and the fact that I knew her and Ingrid weren’t opposed to sharing.

“I’ll be good for you.”

Alexia smiled at me and nodded.

“I know you will baby. Why don’t you show Lucy how good you can be for her? Show her just how perfect you are, Musetrale lo buena que puedes ser para mi?”

I nodded at Ale, I found it funny that of all the people she would bring she chose Lucy. The girl was lovely, an absolute golden retriever of a human being who was always putting smiles on our faces at training. The underlying feeling that I had though was that Ale had a reason, Lucy was obsessed with proving that she respected Ale and I was fairly sure she’d bend over backwards if Alexia asked. She in her own right though was a dominant person, she wasn’t a person to give up control and I couldn’t shake the feeling that she would give it up easily, even to Alexia.

“Lucia, get on the edge of the bed and take your trousers off, you are far too dressed for this occasion.”

Lucy nodded obediently, pulling her trousers off as she stumbled towards the edge of the bed. Fumbling her trousers off and slinging them onto the seat she had previously occupied, leaving her in a plain pair of black boxer shorts. She seated herself on the edge of the bed as Alexia had requested, waiting restlessly on the edge, clearly waiting for something to happen.

“Come on then, don’t leave our guest waiting.”

I nodded at Alexia, extending my hands out in front of me and crawling over towards Lucy, revelling in the way her eyes crawled up and down my body as I moved towards her. There was something so sensual about someone looking you up and down, something so perfect about having your body be appreciated and wanted, Lucy was looking at me like I was a fucking dessert for her to eat and I loved absolutely every single second of it. The way she watched my tits hanging down from my body frame as the moved back and forth as I crawled towards her, and the sight of her eyes travelling down to my ass was purely magical.

When I did make my way to Lucy I kneeled directly in front of her, letting her part her legs on either side of me, leaving my face directly in front of her sex.

“Can I eat her out please, ma’am?”

I could hear Alexia walking around behind us, but I knew better than to avert my attention from Lucy, keeping my hooded eyes focused on hers.

“Ask Lucia baby, she’s your treat for tonight.”

Alexia was the only person who got away with calling Lucy that, the only person Lucy respected enough to let it slide, she used it to her advantage as much as possible. I knew she was using it in this forum to get one message across, that even if she was hanging over the reigns to Lucy, she had a form of control, a form of power that Lucy didn’t and she was conveying that with her words.

“Can I eat you out please, Luce?”

Lucy smirked at my question, I could feel the nerves thrumming through her body. She was so confident but you could tell that she just wasn’t feeling that in this environment, her foot tapping ever so slightly against the floorboards.

“I would love nothing more, if La Reina is okay with it.”

Lucy’s eyes rose anxiously to Alexia, she was very clearly trying to figure out how this situation worked, I assumed Alexia would have given her a small debrief before this but I didn’t know for sure, as far as I knew Alexia could have texted Lucy half an hour ago and told her to come over. Lucy was cautious of Alexia, the use of her full first name putting her on her toes, just like I knew Alexia had intended to do.

The last few hours had been a complete blur to me, we’d played this afternoon, an earlier game at 1pm. After that I’d kind of dropped into my headspace, Alexia had sensed it. Once we’d gotten home she’d fed me and then with my consent she’d blindfolded me and kneeled me down on the floor for a while, letting me think properly for the first time in a few weeks. She knew my body better than I did, could sense when I needed her the most, today was one of those days and nothing felt better than her understanding that need.

“Go ahead cariño, show Lucia how good you can be.”

Her words were enough permission for me, I scooted myself further across the floorboards, so my face was practically pressed against Lucy’s boxers. I reached my hands up, so they were secured on the waist band, she lifted her ass up from the bed, giving me room to pull them down and off of her. The first thing I was faced with when I looked back up was Lucy’s fucking beautiful cunt, staring right at me. As Lucy’s thighs fell over my shoulders I was put millimetres away from Lucy’s glistening pussy. Lucy ever so respectfully inched her way down to my face, and as soon as I snapped myself out of my almost sex induced haze I was diving in.

The hunger that overcame me was immense. I kissed my way up and down Lucy’s slit, as much as I wanted to dive in I also wanted to not be greedy or rushed about it. I slowly slid my tongue up and down, parting her folds in the process and exploring her with so much care. I toyed around with Lucy’s entrance and sensitive nub, taking my time in carefully swirling my tongue around the ever so sensitive areas and relishing in the moans that were falling freely from her lips. Lucy slowly started to become more comfortable in the situation and started very gently to hump my face. When I decided she was being too gentle my hands came up to her thighs, digging into the skin and forcing her down further on my face, allowing me to apply more pressure to her.

I ate her out with passion, the way that Ale had taught me. I lapped at Lucy’s waiting cunt, she was practically throbbing against me and I revelled in the feeling of having her juices drip down my face and down onto my bare neck and the blindfold that was now a forgotten article, hanging loosely around my neck. She was fucking delicious and I took advantage off it, slurping up her juices and swallowing it all down. I continued my exploring, experimenting with different pressures and speeds, slowly discovering what forced the sinfully spectacular groans to fall from Lucy’s mouth. I very quickly discovered that her clit was extremely sensitive, any slight touch to it resulting in a set of specific expletives leaving her lips. I honed in on that, working tirelessly at swirling my tongue around her clit and when her thighs started to clench I started to nibble on it slightly, the small bursts of pressure doing wonders for her.

“Fuck, mm, fuck, such a good girl y/n, gonna make me cum.”

I smirked into Lucy’s clit when the grunts left her mouth, they were hardly words though, muffled by Lucy’s own moans and Alexia’s voice in the background, which I couldn’t fully understand in my sex driven haze.

I worked hard at Lucy’s clit, sucking on it and then dipping down to eat her out every once in a while. I pushed my tongue into her pussy and feeling her sex clench against my tongue as she got closer. I began to alternate, sucking hard on Lucy’s clit and then going down further, licking softly at her pussy. It was the perfect combination of soft and hard and it had Lucy’s thighs shaking on top of my shoulders.

“Fuck, so good y/n/n, so fucking good, I’m going to cum, going to cum.”

As soon as the words left her mouth I sucked down hard on her clit, digging my lips and teeth in.

“Cum, Lucia, cum all over our sluts face.”

Ale’s voice was strong, directly spoken in my ear and it was probably enough to make me cum there on the spot, but I didn’t, too focused on Lucy’s body to care about my own. I moaned against her pussy as I felt her clench and come undone. Her thighs shook like a tree in the wind as the orgasm wracked her body. I continued my licks, softening them and flattening my tongue against her slit, licking up every single drip that was released from her pussy as she came down from her high. It was euphoric, feeling Lucy’s salty and sweet liquid gold on my tongue was a different form of special that I couldn’t even explain.

Eventually, once Lucy’s legs had stopped shaking she lifted herself off of me, revealing my face to her, which was covered in her juices. It was then that I spotted Alexia standing over me, her lips kiss swollen and Lucy’s neck adorned with a few developing love bites that I could only assume were accredited to Alexia. She smirked down at me before leaning down to kiss me, licking at the taste of Lucy and getting as it off of my face as she could.

“Such a good girl for Lucia, I think it’s about time we give you some attention, hm?”

I nodded frantically at Alexia, getting Lucy off had a drug like effect on me and I was now in a drugged up sex haze.

“Please.”

Alexia smirked at my pleading and nodded at me.

“I think Lucia is a little bit overdressed for the occasion, how about you help her out?”

I nodded at Alexia, her word was gospel to me and if she wanted me to do something I would do it. She reached her hands out to me and I took them, my legs had gone practically numb from kneeling for so long so her support was well appreciated. My legs wobbled for a few seconds whilst I regained the sensation in my legs. Once the sensation was regained I turned to Lucy, who still seemed to be coming back from her mind shattering orgasm.

I closed the distance between us, seating myself down on the edge of the bed beside her and putting my hands to work immediately. I’d bared her bottom half so I busied myself with unbuttoning her blouse, taking my time with each individual button. The top buttons were already done, courtesy to Alexia who had left a litter of love bites along Lucy’s collar line that were going to be a pain to hide tomorrow for training. It made me smirk slightly.

Lucy, very clearly having regained her energy, got bored waiting for me to unbutton her blouse, and busied herself with leaving some matching marks along my own collarbone. I let her go, I wasn’t training tomorrow anyways, I’d been told to take the day off because of a minor head collision that I’d had during the game, it was pure precaution but I was grateful to have a lie in regardless, fairly happy to miss out on the morning recovery and gym session when I could be cuddled up in bed with Ale and I’s cat and dog.

Once I finally finished with her blouse I threw it across the floor of Ale and I’s room, leaving it with the pile of clothes that had collected on our armchair in the corner. I then moved onto Lucy’s bra, reaching behind her back and unclasping it, smirking as she bit down particularly hard as I pulled the bra from her body.

I let her leave her marks for a little while, sitting back on the bed, Alexia joining us both and joining Lucy at my neck, the both of them occupying themselves with marking me. I couldn’t help but feel the competitive energy between them, they were both dominant individuals in their own right. Alexia was possessive over me as my girlfriend, but so was Lucy on a friend level. Her, Keira and I made up the ‘Spanglish’ trio at Barca and we were practically inseparable, so Lucy was highly protective of me in that way, she had been since we were kids.

“Please.”

Lucy smirked into her spot onto my collarbone, I wasn’t a full on moaning mess yet but I was starting to get worked up but I wanted more.

Lucy picked her head up out of my neck and looked up at me.

“What do you want?”

Lucy looked at Alexia, checking it was all okay and when she got the confirmation there was nothing wrong with her actions she looked back at me.

“More.”

Lucy nodded at me, but she didn’t progress any more.

“Use your words, bebita.” (baby)

I groaned as Alexia’s mouth found it’s way to my pulse point, sucking down deeply on the point and then withdrawing completely.

I whimpered at the lack of contact, my eyes snapping open to look at the two women. The back of Alexia’s palm came down onto the inside of my thigh, without warning, leaving me to yelp out of surprise.

“Lucia asked you to do something, puta (slut), listen to her or we’re going to find ourselves in a very different situation, comprendida?” (Understood?)

I nodded quickly at Alexia, desperate for more attention, desperate for both of their lips to return to my body.

“Si entiendo, lo siento. Please, my pussy.” (Yes, I understand, I’m sorry)

Lucy smirked at me, they were playing coy, toying with me until I broke, it was a game that Ale loved to play and she knew it drove me insane.

“Does your perfect little pussy want some attention? Does it feel all forgotten right now? Are we not giving you enough attention?”

Alexia’s lips returned to my neck, dipping a little bit lower and navigating their way down across my chest. I kept my eyes on Lucy, silently pleading with her to please, give my fucking throbbing pussy some attention, before it fucking imploded below me.

“Please, fuck, Please.”

Lucy licked her lips, it was clear she was gaining enjoyment from riling me up and I couldn’t find it in me to despise her for it, I was just so fucking desperate.

“Mm, Ale do you think she deserves it?”

Ale’s head rose from my chest once again, her lips were swollen and tinged slightly redder than normal.

“I’m not sure, we did promise her some attention if she treated you well, but she can wait longer if we want her to. It’s up to you, she did play so well considering though, and we have been riling her up.”

It was clear Ale was enjoying being the backseat driver for this scene, she always had to have control, always had to be in charge. She loved it but a part of me also knew that she probably didn’t mind taking the passenger seat for a lapse in time, letting Lucy take the reins whilst she took in the moment.

“Mm, what do you want bebita?”

I gulped, moaning at the feeling of Alexia wrapping her tongue around my nipple, the sensation sending shocks throughout my whole body.

“Anything, hands, mouth, please, just anything.”

I was laying the desperation on thick, letting my barriers down to express the pure yearning I had for something, anything to just fucking touch me.

“Alright, I think we can do something about that, hm?”

I nodded at Lucy and moaned as her hand snaked its way down my chest, travelling down the flat surface of my stomach and then the hips. Before I knew it her hand was dipping down below my knees and I was a mess, as soon as a single digit made its way through my folds.

“You're so wet, bebita, we’ve hardly touched you and you're dripping all over the sheets.”

Lucy’s words were just encouragement for me, just another factor in my pleasure. Ale was smirking from her spot against my breasts, fiddling with one of my nipples between her fingers and biting on the other one whilst Lucy explored my cunt with just her finger.

It didn’t take long for the digit to be pushed into my hole. It slid in with ease, my hole adjusting to Lucy’s lone finger fairly quickly.

She worked her way in, knuckle by knuckle, even though she didn’t have to. Moving her finger at a snail like pace, her thumb rubbing lazily against my clit. I needed more, more friction, more movement, more anything. I pushed my hips down against her hand, but almost as soon as I did her hands were off of me.

“If you can’t be patient then your pretty little pussy isn’t getting any attention, comprendida bebita?”

I nodded quickly back at Lucy, any contact was good, anything.

I moaned sinfully as her hands returned to my body, not objecting as Alexia pushed my body backwards against the sheets, so that I was lying down and the two older women were towering over me on the bed, the both of them busying themselves with their self assigned jobs.

I spread my legs for Lucy, allowing her proper access to my body as I focus on Ale’s lips and fingers against my skin, adorning my body with little touches and marks, my senses were heightened from her actions, guaranteeing any touch from Lucy to elicit a fairly filthy moan to leave my mouth.

She kept her movements fairly measured and vague, dipping her finger in every once in a while, otherwise toying with my clit very gently or just working her fingers through my wetness.

It was driving me positively insane and I didn’t know how much more of the little touches and gentleness I could handle, my brain's wiring starting to slowly come undone at the hands of my teammates.

“Please, please, more.”

The words were murmured out between moans, I was becoming a complete mess with the little touches and I hated it, I hated it because all I wanted was to be fucked hard and fast, unforgivingly and the softness of their actions was driving me fucking insane. I was fairly sure they knew it, Alexia could practically read my mind, she had to know that I wanted more, that I was craving more, craving the feeling of being fucked out of my fucking mind.

“Is this not enough for you?”

Lucy’s voice was so fucking condescending, it was driving me insane in all of the best ways.

“Just please more, mas por favor, mas por favor, Luce.” (more please, more please)

I watched contemplation make its way across Lucy’s face, she was clearly deep in thought, planning her next move very carefully.

“Okay bebita, I’ll give you more.”

I didn’t have time to think about her answer, the feeling of two more of her fingers stretching out my hole being enough to have me keeling over in pleasure. It was the perfect, stretch, faster. Everything that I wanted and the feeling of Lucy’s fingers curling perfectly against that spot, was so good that I almost saw stars as soon as she brushed over it.

She kept going at a fairly rigorous pace, slowly edging me towards the line of pure pleasure and it was good. The feeling of Alexia’s teeth grazing my upper body mixed with the combination of Lucy’s actions was euphoric to me, completely addictive.

“Fuck, Luce so good, so fucking good.”

The feeling of her fingertips, slightly coarse from the callouses developed over the years, brushing up against my g-spot was inexplicable, making every single inch of my body warm with pleasure.

“Mm, you going to cum bebita, show us how good you can be?”

Her words were enough to send another set of shocks out across my body, my thighs starting to tremble on either side of Lucy.

“Please, can I cum, please, fuck.”

Alexia lifted her head from my chest, looking at me inquisitively.

“No.”

“She’s been a good girl, Reina.”

Alexia shook her head again, my body having an internal battle as the two women looked between each other and then back down at me.

“Please, Ale, fuck, please.”

Lucy’s hand was still pumping furiously inside of me as the two women stared at each other, both of them wearing similar expressions of stubbornness.

“She can wait, quieres correrte puta?” (do you want to come, slut?)

I nodded furiously at Ale, I was teetering right on the edge of orgasm and I didn’t think I could last much longer, my self control slowly slipping away as Lucy worked at my pussy tirelessly.

“Joder, por favor Ale, por favor.” (Fuck, please Ale, please)

Ale shook her head at me, but in contrast Lucy nodded at me, it was messing with my head, the two of them obviously disagreeing on the topic.

“Lucia, aquí no mandas tu, soy yo. Si quieres usar el juguete con ella más tarde te portarás bien.” (Lucia, you’re not in charge here, I am. If you want to use the toy on her later than you will behave)

Alexia’s Spanish was aggressive and spoken fast enough that I couldn’t understand it properly. Lucy’s Spanish was better than mine, Ale had tried her hardest to teach me in the few months that I’d been here and the years that we’d been dating but I was horrible at learning a new language, Lucy was less shocking then I was and I knew by her facial expression that she understood most, if not all of what Ale was saying to her.

All of a sudden Lucy’s hand was withdrawing itself from my heat, the two women arguing furiously in Spanish above me.

“Me prometiste.” (You promised.)

Ale glared at Lucy before starting a flurry of Spanish that I didn’t even try to translate.

“Estás discutiendo conmigo, Lucia? Quieres siquiera estar aquí? Tal vez deberías irte a casa.”

(Are you arguing with me Lucia? Do you want to be here? Continue and you can go home)

I was no longer being touched, no longer had the attention on me, the two women on top of me completely wrapped up in their fight for dominance to care about my pleasure that I’d been so close to reaching. It annoyed me, listening to the two of them go back and forth in a language that I couldn’t understand. I was fairly certain that Lucy didn’t even fully understand everything Alexia was saying to her, but based on her tone of voice and some of the words she must have been piecing it together.

I watched, slightly annoyed, as the two bit back at each other. It was malicious and boring for me, who had no idea what they were saying and I was honestly to horny to care.

I couldn’t help but let my hand slide down the inside of my thigh, now forgotten by Lucy. If they weren’t going to give me attention I’d give it to myself.

My hand only made it as far as my clit though before it was very quickly snatched by Alexia, her quick reflexes coming into play, one of her hands grabbing my hand that was between my thighs and the other hand coming down on my thigh in a resounding slap.

“Maldita zorra, realmente no puedes esperar, verdad? Entonces jodidamente impaciente. Te arrepentirás.” (Fucking slut, you really can’t wait can you? So fucking impatient, You’re going to regret that.)

I understood those words and they made my core shiver.

Alexia made quick work of finding my other hand, pulling the forgotten blindfold over my head. It was still slightly damp with Lucy’s juices, Alexia brought my two wrists together above my head and used the once blindfold to secure them together, so they were bound above my head, resting on the pillows behind me.

“I think it’s about time we give you what you want, hm, you're so impatient today, so needy to be filled. What do you want, tell me slut.”

Alexia’s hand was grasping my chin now and it was all becoming too much for me, my brain overstimulating itself from the sudden attention.

“Por favor, fóllame.” (Please, just fuck me.)

Alexia smirked at my pleading, she loved it when I spoke Spanish to her, I think she was a little bit proud of me when I did.

“Is that what you want, for me or Lucia to use the strap on you, stuff you full?”

I nodded furiously at Alexia, as much as I could with the grip she had on my chin.

“Si, please Luce, fill me up?”

Lucy’s jaw almost dropped to the floor at my words, I could tell she was trying her hardest to keep herself composed but my words had gotten to her.

“Second draw, of the dresser, Lucia.”

Lucy was up off the bed almost immediately, Ale busying herself with one of my nipples, rubbing the little nub in between her two fingers, toying with it in a painfully sensitive way whilst pressing gentle kisses along my jawline.

In what I was certain was record time Lucy had returned to the bed, this time with Alexia’s favourite strap fastened across her hips. I wished I could take a mental picture of Lucy kneeling in between my legs, Alexia and I’s favourite dildo hanging securely between her legs.

“I think you’ve prepped her enough with your fingers, she’s soaked so you shouldn’t need lube.”

Alexia nodded at Lucy reassuringly, any past argument and tension between the two now dismissed by the overall theme of giving me pleasure.

The feeling of the tip of the dildo pushing through my folds was enough to have my back arching against the bed. Alexia’s lips on my jaw long forgotten as Lucy oh so gently pushed into my entrance. It was pure ecstasy, illicit moans leaving my mouth as she pushed the length of the cock into my cunt, my pussy devouring every inch until Lucy’s hips were pressed against my own. She sat like that for a few seconds, letting me adjust to the intrusion before starting to rock back and forth. My hips met hers on every single thrust, my body pushing itself down against her to try and get as much off the dildo crammed into me as I could.

Lucy was leaning over me, Ale’s lips leaving my body to meet Lucy’s, the two of them meeting in a teeth clashing kiss, the both of them fighting for dominance in the kiss whilst Lucy continued to push into me at a unrelenting pace, it was so fucking good, the sex equivalent to drugs. I was practically incoherent, moans and half words leaving my mouth as Lucy pounded into me.

“Ale, please can I cum, por favor.”

Alexia removed her lips from Lucy’s for long enough to speak to me.

“Cum, cum cãrino, once you start though you aren’t stopping until Lucia and I are done, comprendida?”

I didn’t even need to listen to the second half of Ale’s words, my body already spasming as my orgasm washed over me. My vision went black and my eyes rolled into the back of my head as everything blurred and everything mellowed out for a few seconds as I bathed in the post orgasmic bliss. Then, suddenly, it all came crashing back down on me, the feeling of Lucy still pounding into my now very sensitive pussy was too much, too much feeling, too much pleasure, too much everything and I could feel the tears springing to my eyes.

“No más, No más.”

Ale looked down at me, smirking slightly as the tears leaked from my eyes. I was so over stimulated, I could feel absolutely everything, my senses heightened beyond anything I was used to all a sudden.

“One more bebita, give us one more, I know you can do it cãrino, let go for us.”

The mixture of Ale’s words and Lucy pressing a soft kiss to my breast was enough to send me over the edge for a second time, my body trembling uncontrollably with the aftershocks as I blacked out completely from the mixture of pleasure and dull pain. I went limp against our sheets, my body completely done and tired from the actions of the night.

I felt Lucy slowly ease out of me and Ale getting up from the mattress beside me, I mewled slightly at the abrupt complete loss of contact but relaxed when I felt Lucy’s toned body slide in beside me, pulling the covers of the bed over the two of us and bringing my head up to her chest. I kept my eyes closed, still shaking from my orgasm. Lucy unwrapped my hands from their bonds ever so gently, rubbing at the place that the silk had been before guiding them to her stomach, resting my hands against her stomach, letting me gently draw circles against the surface of her skin. Lucy moved onto gently running her hands through my hair, combing out any knots that had come from our activities, her hands ever so carefully working their way through my tresses, using the perfect amount of pressure to tug at the lengths but not tugging hard enough to hurt. She worked gently at my scalp, her hands massaging my skin.

It wasn’t long before Ale returned to us, sliding in on the other side of me, one of her hands making it’s way to my bicep, gently rubbing the skin with her hands, letting her hand press in just enough for me to find comfort in the action.

I opened my eyes slightly when she pressed down on my bicep hard enough to get my attention. She waved a water bottle in my direction and I understood the memo. I sat myself up a little bit against Lucy, my whole body practically leaning against her. Ale handed me a bottle and then moved on to pressing on into Lucy’s palm, ordering me to drink and me not having the energy to say no to her. The water felt good going in, cooling my now slightly sore throat.

“How’s the head, mi amor?”

There was worry laced between Alexia’s eyebrow as she looked my body up and down, looking for any signs that I was anything but okay. She was always worrying about me, especially when I got injured.

“Fine, a little bit sore but okay.”

Alexia nodded at me, leaning over to press a gentle kiss to my forehead before turning her head in Lucy’s direction.

“Lucia Roberta, drink some water.”

Lucy perked up at Alexia’s words, opening her drink bottle dutifully and taking a few sips before placing it on the bedside table next to her. Alexia rolled her eyes at Lucy but didn’t push it, wrapping an arm around my torso and relaxing against my body.

“How was it amar, everything you wanted?”

I nodded against Alexia, from my spot sandwiched in between her chest and Lucy’s.

“It was fucking perfect.”

Alexia smirked at my words.

“How about you Lucia?”

I felt Lucy inhale from her spot above me, the woman leaning down to press a kiss to both Alexia and I’s cheeks before replying.

“Words couldn’t describe.”

I snorted into Lucy’s chest, finding solace in the warmth of the two bodies I was in between, everything feeling so perfect and right in that moment.

“Get some sleep you two, you both deserve it after how perfect you were on the field.”

I smiled into Alexia’s chest, unable to suppress the eyeroll at her way of bringing her captaining into the fucking bedroom.

“Love you Ale, Love you Luce.”

I relaxed into the two bodies beside them. We would talk about how it had come about in the morning, talk about doing this again, I was sure of it. For now though, I was happy lying between the two women, willing to let my body loosen up and relax in the safety of the two women's arms.

#woso #woso community #barca femeni #lucy bronze #alexia putellas smuttt #alexia putellas is mom #alexia putellas imagine #alexia putellas #alexia putellas x reader #lucy bronze x reader #lucy bronze imagine #lucy bronze x reader x alexia putellas #smut #marry me rn

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rollinouttahere · 1 year

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Joyride

Yandere Strawhats + Ace x Isekai Reader

2.2k words

Part 2

Yet again, this fic is inspired by @lovelybrooke ‘s Isekai reader stories.

I also want to say thank you for all the support and kind comments on the last story I wrote! I’ve actually been working on my own yandere one piece fic that I’m hoping to start posting in a few days give or take, so if you like what I’ve written so far, keep an eye out for that! All future writings are gonna be posted on my writing blog @rollinouttahere-writes so go follow that blog if you’re interested!

Trying to act normal and inconspicuous in the One Piece universe was a far from easy task. Being the massive fan of the series that you were, it was damn hard to not give away that you knew all about the crew that was so generously letting you stay with them after appearing on their ship with zero explanation.

It became even harder to stay lowkey when Ace temporarily joined up with the Strawhats. All you wanted was to hug that man and tell him how loved he is and that he deserves to live just as much as anyone else, but you really couldn’t say or do any of that without looking weird. You’ll just have to settle for being extremely nice to him, which was very easy.

Ace himself was already an easy guy to get along with (now at least), but he was noticeably very interested in you. You couldn’t blame him, what with Luffy almost immediately outing your insane situation to him. He seemed incredulous at first, but warmed up to and accepted the story way faster than you expected. It didn’t take long for his questions to go from feeling like an interrogation to being genuine.

You were so busy soaking up the attention from such a beloved character that you almost missed how jealous your crewmates were getting. Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper were taking it the best. Chopper probably because he was still so new to the crew that he wasn’t all that bothered by one of them not paying as much attention to him. Usopp was too busy building Nami’s weapon to concern himself with it too much. Meanwhile, Luffy was just so happy to see Ace again that he didn’t really notice that you were spending a lot of time with him. That, and he would usually be hanging out with both of you anyways.

The others though, oh boy did they not like this. Nami was the most blatant about it, straight up glowering at you and Ace whenever you two were too close for her liking. You’re pretty sure the only thing keeping her from up and dragging you away from him is Luffy dismissing her complaints and telling her to stop fretting over it. You love being a part of their crew, so she should quit worrying!

Sanji and Zoro were both vying for your attention in their own ways as well. Sanji suddenly wanted more help around the kitchen, insisting that he needed an extra pair of hands now that there was another mouth to feed. Given that Ace’s appetite was on par with Luffy’s, you could understand the desire for help. Zoro’s attempts were considerably less convincing. One time he wanted you to spot him while he was working out, making you laugh right in his face at the mere idea that you would be able to help him with the ridiculous weights he lifts. His face had gone bright red after you pointed it out to him, prompting him to walk away immediately, much to your amusement.

Right now, though, you weren’t with Ace. Him and Luffy were busy doing something and you didn’t want to butt in on all their time together. Instead, you were ogling Ace’s boat that was currently tied to the side of the Going Merry.

You absolutely loved the design of his ship, it was such a clever idea to use his devil fruit ability to power a steam engine and make what looks like a tiny sailboat function like a jet ski. It didn’t appear in the anime too many times but everytime it was on screen it looked so cool.

“I wonder what it’d be like to ride that,” you quietly mused to yourself.

“Wanna find out?”

You almost jumped out of your skin at the sudden arrival of Ace. He laughed at your reaction, not a care in the world for the near heart attack he just gave you.

“Oh my God, Ace, you scared the hell out of me!” You lightly slapped at his shoulder, your other hand resting over your now racing heart.

He laughed some more, “I could tell, and I’m sorry about that.” He didn’t sound even vaguely sorry. Ace elbowed your side, “But seriously, do you want to go for a ride?”

The offer had you staring wide-eyed at him. Then the boat. Then back at him again. “Really? Are you sure?” You were desperately trying to keep your cool and not show how insanely excited you were about the idea.

“Of course! I wouldn’t have offered it if I wasn’t. Come on,” he hopped up onto the railing and held his hand out to you. You didn’t need to mull it over, eagerly taking hold and stepping up with him. As soon as you did, he wrapped an arm around you and was ready to jump down onto his boat when Nami started yelling.

“Woah, woah, woah, what the hell are you two doing???” Nami, who was previously pruning her trees, had abandoned the activity entirely in favor of sprinting over to where you were and grabbing onto your leg.

“(Y/N) wanted to try riding my boat, so we’re going for a little joyride, that’s all,” Ace flashed Nami a dazzling smile, not at all deterred by her interruption.

“No way! What if they fall off? That thing doesn’t look safe at all!” Nami was now pulling on you, trying to get you down from the railing.

Ace held on tighter in response, “It’s perfectly safe, it has to be. I’m a devil fruit user, remember? (Y/N) isn’t, so really, I’m in more danger on that than they are. It’s fine.”

You could tell Nami was ready to argue more, but thankfully Luffy piped up, “Don’t worry about it Nami! If Ace says it’s safe then it’s safe!” Luffy, who was perched on his special seat at the bow, came bounding over, “But I wanna go next!”

“Sure thing, Luffy, we’ll be back in a bit,” Ace was quick to jump down with you in tow, not wanting to give any of the other Strawhats a chance to object. After untying it from the Going Merry, he knelt down slightly, “Hop on my back, you’re not gonna want to have your feet down there when we get going.”

Not wanting to get set on fire, you obliged. If you weighed anything to him, he didn’t show it, simply standing up straight as soon as you were on. “Ready?”

You excitedly nod your head, holding on tight to Ace in preparation. It was a good thing too, because he decided to immediately start at the leisurely speed of what felt like mach 7. A shriek emits from your throat as you take off. You think you can hear Nami yelling something again, but couldn’t make it out over your own screaming and the noise of the steam engine roaring to life.

Ace laughed loudly at your reaction, but did slow down slightly, “Sorry about that, I just wanted to get some distance before anyone else tried to stop us.” One of his arms let go of your leg and tugged at your arms around his neck, “But would you mind easing up a bit? I won’t be able to take us back if you choke me out.”

“Oh oops, I’m sorry!” You immediately loosened your arms and readjusted them. Accidentally strangling Ace was not something you wanted to do today. Or any day really.

He simply shrugged it off, telling you not to worry about it. It’s not like you could really hurt him. “I’m gonna speed up again, you ready for it this time?”

The second you confirm that you are, the boat lurches forward, cutting through the waves like nothing. Now that you weren’t panicking, you could properly take in the experience and thoroughly enjoy it.

The wind was whipping through your hair and sea water misted the air, droplets clinging to both yours and Ace’s hair. He hit a particularly big wave causing the boat to go airborne for a moment before crashing back down. You found yourself laughing and cheering as Ace continued to show off, which only egged him on more.

After a while, Ace slowed to a stop and let you down from his back. “C’mere, step up on this,” he stepped to the side and motioned for you to step up onto the front of his boat. His hands rested on your hips to keep you steady, presumably not wanting to get chewed out by Nami if you came back sopping wet.

“This is one of the best parts of being at sea,” he was staring straight ahead. “Sunsets out here are something else, you don’t get a view like this on land.”

He was completely correct, it was beautiful. Orange, red, and pink hues colored the sky and reflected gorgeously in the ocean. It was a breathtaking view, one you would remember forever.

The two of you fell into a comfortable silence, quietly admiring the view with nothing but the natural sounds of the ocean around you. It was nice, very peaceful.

“What do you think about staying here?”

You tense at Ace suddenly speaking. “Like staying out here a little longer?” As lovely as this was, the others were bound to get antsy if you stayed out after dark.

“No, I mean staying here in this world,” he stepped closer to you, wrapping his arms fully around you and resting his head on your shoulder to be able to see your face. “It’s nice here, right? Why not stick around? I know Luffy wants you to. Hell, I’m sure the rest of the crew does, too.”

You were taken aback by this statement, and weren’t really sure how to respond. Sure, it could be nice here when you all weren’t being hunted for sport by marines, but this wasn’t a place you could see yourself staying long term. That, and you had a life back home, you couldn’t just throw your friends and family to the wind like that.

Sucking in a breath, you searched for the nicest way to say all that. “It is nice here, but I have to go back.” You could feel his posture stiffen behind you, “Don’t get me wrong, you all have been super nice to me! It’s just that I’ve got all my friends and family back home and I miss them terribly.”

“Your family?” Ace said this so quietly that you weren’t even sure he was saying that to you. Abruptly, he straightened up, “I know! If you want a family so bad you can join the Whitebeard pirates!”

What? You joining the Whitebeard pirates? You already feel inadequate enough around the Strawhats, you can’t imagine how pathetic you would feel around those people. Of course, it would be awesome to get to meet them, but you want to keep to yourself as much as possible since you will eventually have to go back home.

While you were thinking, Ace kept going, “Pops would love you, I just know it. We haven’t gotten another sibling in a while, everyone would be psyched to meet you.” His once comforting hug was growing tighter by the second. Suffocating even.

“Ace-”

“And you already have friends with my brother’s crew, so that’s all taken care of!”

“Ace, ple-”

“Of course, I’m your friend too, but after you join I’ll be your big brother!”

“ACE!” Your yell startled him, mercifully making him let go of you. You take the opportunity to inch forward and create some distance, however minute. “That’s,” oh, how to put this without hurting his feelings, “that’s very kind of you to offer, but I’d rather stay with the Strawhats for now.”

“Oh…” You don’t even need to turn around to know how disappointed he was by this declaration. He chuckled awkwardly, “I’m sorry about that, looks like I got a little carried away there.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” frankly, you just wanted to go back to the ship after that. The atmosphere was uncomfortable now.

After a few more seconds of silence, Ace cleared his throat and spoke again, “We should probably head back now, it’s gonna be dark soon.”

You were quick to agree and clambered onto his back, “Yeah that’s a good idea, Nami would throw a fit if we stay out much longer.” She’ll probably be mad regardless, but still.

Ace got his boat going and began the trip back. The Going Merry was a lot further away than you’d realized, it was so small that you could just barely make it out in the distance. You internally cringe, your crewmates are no doubt unhappy about you being this far away.

Despite the distance, you couldn’t help but notice how slow Ace was going compared to earlier. It’s like he wanted to drag this out for as long as possible. You decided not to call him out on it, not deeming it worth it.

“I’m not giving up, you know.”

“What?”

“I’ll drop it for now, but I’m not giving up on you joining Whitebeard’s crew. Just… think about it, okay?” Ace’s voice was quiet, just barely loud enough to hear over the engine.

The rest of the ride back remained dead silent, giving you plenty of time to mull over what just happened. It felt so… Weird. Out of character, really. He’s known you for, what? 24 hours? If that. Yet he’s trying to talk you out of going home and seems dead set on replacing your family with his own. Granted, everyone’s been more clingy than you thought normal, but this was downright bizarre.

You really need to find a way home, and fast.

#one piece #yandere one piece #one piece x reader #yandere #portgas d ace #one piece ace #monkey d luffy #luffy #nami #one piece nami #zoro roronoa #sanji #we believe in alabasta ace supremacy here

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the-travelling-witch · 9 months

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𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐒𝐓𝐘𝐋𝐄

summary: after a quick stop by mostro lounge, you decide you can't leave octavinelle's students to their dreadful costume fate

pairing: jade leech x fashion savvy! reader

warnings: fluff/crack, a little suggestive at the end; just a small drabble to celebrate me getting jade's halloween ssr that appeared in my drafts before i knew what's going on

twisted wonderland masterlist

“And now, pray tell, what is this supposed to be?”

“We’re mummies,” Floyd eagerly grinned back at you when you entered Mostro Lounge. “Pretty neat, ain’t it, shrimpy?”

“I guessed as much from the form you submitted to the Halloween management committee.” You surveyed the warzone of torn white fabric the lounge had become and then zeroed in on the octotrio’s ‘costumes’, wondering in which world a mummy looked like a plucked chicken. “My actual question was, why do you look like toddlers who rolled around in a bunch of toilet paper?”

“Come again?” Azul tried to hide his shocked expression behind his hand as he adjusted his wired glasses.

“You’re well aware that mummies have a body shape too, right?” Walking up to Jade, you started inspecting the damage and what part of this fiasco was still savable, bunching fabric between your fingers and pulling at white clothing shreds. “Under different circumstances I’d be rather impressed that you managed to erase someone’s figure altogether but, with the festival in mind, I can’t let this pass. I can’t believe you put my boyfriend in this, Azul.”

“It’s truly tragic, pearl, isn’t it?” Jade played along, sighing tiredly as he raised one hand to cup your cheek. When your face was pressed into his chest, his palm cradling the back of your head, he threw a wicked grin Azul’s way. “To think that after all these years of knowing and supporting each other, you’d make us wear this when we’re expecting visitors from far and wide… I don’t want to linger on the thought.”

“Oh please, would you both quit being so dramatic?” Octavinelle’s housewarden rolled his eyes and massaged his temple before his shoulders sacked. “Alright fine, maybe the costumes weren’t our best work yet. Let’s hear your proposal then, Prefect.”

You hummed in contemplation as you studied the outfits again. “We can keep the striped shirts and the pants but we need decidedly more belts, a whole lot of them. And, if you know what’s good for you, then you'd better have untangled yourselves from the toilet paper looking crap by the time I’m back.”

“Wait, where are you going?” Azul asked as you were already halfway out of the dorm.

“I’m going to save Mostro Lounge!”

Upon your return, you were delighted to see the guys had followed your advice/ command and were waiting for you in only the long shirts and black trousers. When Jade saw you coming in, carrying a bunch of boxes filled with clothes and accessories, he quickly took them from you and set them down on the table next to them.

“Thank you,” you smiled up at him, to which your boyfriend pressed a quick kiss to your temple. His brother did not hide the gagging noise he made. “Okay, let’s get to work. Halloween’s already drawing close and we’ll still have to make adjustments to the costumes for sure.

“Here,” you said, digging through the cardboard boxes until you found the black shirts you’d been searching for. “Put these on. They should be roughly the right size.”

Turning around to let them change, you searched for the accessories you’d deemed the show-stealers. Brushing over leather, you hooked your fingers into the metal ring of a harness to hold it up. You really owed Pomefiore for this one.

“Oya, shrimpy, watcha have there?” Floyd’s amused lilt told you that he was pretty aware of what exactly it was. “You wanna catch yourself a fish? Or an eel, hmm?”

“I have to say, it is a pretty daring approach to a Halloween school costume,” Jade chimed in, one hand resting on his chin in contemplation but nonetheless smiling. “Not that I am opposed to it, of course.”

“Prefect, is this really necessary?” Azul shifted his weight from one foot to the other, looking at you but not quite into your eyes. “I mean I understand refining our apparel but this…”

“Azul, I’m making you marketable right now,” you said earnestly and with that, his azure eyes finally snapped to you. “Do you know how much potential profit is tied to this one little accessory? C’mon, try it on. You can still decide not to wear it afterwards. For now, just go with the flow.”

One by one, you helped them secure the straps around their torso, having Jade hold Floyd still enough to get it on him. You could see Azul fidgeting from the corner of your eye as you put the finishing touches on Jade’s harness, slipping two fingers underneath the straps to make sure it wasn’t too tight.

“Okay, let’s get the shirts back on, add some more belts, cut up the fabric and get this show on the road. I can basically see people banging down your doors already. I hope you can seat that many guests.” The last sentences were more so directed at Azul, in an effort for him to just let you do your thing. “I don’t have any sort of hat prepared because I frankly didn’t expect to save a dorm’s costume today but I’ll see what I can do.”

“My my, that does pose the question of where we’d be without you,” Jade chuckled affectionately.

“Out of business on Halloween, apparently,” you sighed theatrically. “Well then, chop chop guys, I want to see the entire thing.”

After they all pulled their striped shirts back on, you added more belts around their hips and waist to give the outfit more shape but didn’t tug the shirts in to mimic a mummy’s peeled off bandages. All in all, it wasn’t the most elaborate costume but it did the trick and if you could put some finishing touches on it throughout the week, you were confident the lounge would attract a fair share of customers.

“Alright, that’s it. You can go around and do some work or whatever just to get a feel for the clothes. Remember, you’ll have to wear them for the entirety of the festival, so I want to remove anything that might be uncomfortable beforehand. And Floyd, don’t drag those white sleeves through the dirt, got it? They should stay the colour they are now.” You sent the eel a warning glare and he held his hand up in defence, although the grin he didn’t bother to hide before he vanished to the Seven know where wasn’t reassuring.

Azul had apparently already slinked back into his office, leaving you standing alone in the lounge with your boyfriend, giving you ample time to admire your work again. Seeing Jade in something like this was certainly something you’d been very curious about, with good right as you learnt now; the black shirt highlighting his muscle and the leather holding your attention were leading your thoughts down a very different direction. Something he must have caught on to somehow.

“Do you like what you see, pearl?” He teased, his grin showing off his sharp teeth as he studied you with mischievous interest. Maybe it was your imagination but in the dimly lit lounge, his left eye seemed to glow. “I cannot help but wonder why you’d extend your gracious assistance to us without wanting anything in return, not that I am not grateful of course.

“Perhaps you merely wanted to seize your chance to put me into something like this?” He gestured towards the harness secured around his chest, his attentive gaze not flitting from your face for even a second. “You know you need only ask if you have any more… fantasies of this nature.”

“I— It’s nothing like that! You make me sound like some pervert,” you protested, although, to your embarrassment, he wasn’t completely wrong. But, seriously, who would pass up a situation like this? “Anyway, don’t you have anything to do? You’re usually busy around the clock.”

“Oh, I have something very important to do,” he grinned down at you, taking a step closer to you, to the point you had to take one back, until he could crowd you against the bar. Now that he had you right where he wanted you, his hands smoothed down the sides of your body until he could place his hands on the back of your thighs to effortlessly lift you onto the counter. It happened so fast, you let out a surprised yelp and braced yourself against his chest, to which he merely chuckled.

“And what would that work entail?” You questioned as you ran your fingers along the straps of the harness spanning his broad chest. Looking up you saw his attention already on you.

“Under normal circumstances it would require me to get out of these clothes. But, per your request, that is currently not possible.” Leaning into your personal space, his lips brushed over the delicate skin of your pulse point, his breath fanning over the base of your neck as he lowered his voice to a whispered husk. “I am fairly certain though, the same restrictions do not apply for your clothes, my precious pearl. I can definitely work with that.”

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ngayawneluoer · 1 year

Text

the thrill of the chase

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ sully siblings x metkayinan reader

You visit the home of your Omatikayan friends, and Neteyam, Lo’ak, Kiri and Tuk encourage you to get into a bit of trouble and do something you’ve never done before: bond with an ikran.

word count: 2045

a/n: as always nobody fact check this bc i really should have done more research BUT ALAS enjoy

When your parents finally agreed to let you visit the Omatikayan lands, you figured your stay would include some introductions, sightseeing, and maybe some casual shenanigans. The Omatikayan village was rich with culture, and you revelled in the people's hospitality, but it wasn't long until your friends pulled you away from the adults and dragged you into trouble. Silly of you to think it would include something other than scaling mountains.

"This is… harder than it seems," You groaned, slightly trembling as you scaled the jagged rocks of the Hallelujah mountains. It was somewhat embarrassing for you, as even Tuk was racing ahead of you, but you kept telling yourself that you were just in a new environment and that it was expected of you to make mistakes.

"Not so easy when you're the fish out of water, is it?" Lo'ak teased, golden eyes peering down at you from the ledge where he, Tuk and Kiri had stopped to wait for you. Neteyam was right beside you, ready to assist if you struggled too much.

"Steady. Don't force yourself," Neteyam encouraged, an amused smile on his face.

You huffed, trying to hide how you strained with every step, "I'm not a baby, you know. I can climb a cliff without- shit!" Your right hand slipped from the jagged cliffside, and you cut your sentence off with a shriek. Thank Eywa for Neteyam, who had caught your waist to keep you stable and lifted you to hold the branch above you.

"Easy…" Neteyam reassured, hand still on your back as you regained your grip.

"What was that about climbing a cliff?" Lo'ak taunted playfully, which earned him a slap on the back of the head from Kiri.

Just what you deserve for getting cocky, you supposed.

Tuk peeked down, her sweet eyes filled with concern for you, "(Y/N), are you okay?"

Your first instinct was to say no; no, you were not okay because you were dangling from a floating boulder and if you fell, there was virtually zero chance of survival. And yet somehow, you couldn't say this was the most threatening situation you've been in. You survived a war. You could climb a rock.

"I'm fine, Tuk. Almost there."

Lo'ak turned to Kiri, "Should one of us tell them that we are definitely not almost there?"

"I heard that!" You retorted, scowling at the man above you.

"Less talking, more climbing!" Kiri laughed, "Even Tuk did it."

Neteyam rolled his eyes, "Ignore those skxawngs. You're doing great for your first time climbing this high."

"You can do it, (Y/N)!" Tuk cheered, her little hands clapping to cheer you on. You groaned in effort but continued pushing on.

When you finally reached the ledge, you threw yourself onto your back between Lo'ak and Kiri, "I regret ever teasing you for being useless in Metkayina," you whined, sincerity to your words, "I feel like a child here. Except even a child is more capable than me."

"Come on, you big baby. You haven't even gotten to the good part." Neteyam beamed with burgeoning excitement, clutching your arm to pull you back to your feet.

"I swear, swimming is so much more painless than all this. We have it easy back home." You spoke.

"I wouldn't say that. It took Lo'ak forever to get used to riding an ilu." Kiri reminisced as she strolled forward down the path, disappearing into the flora.

Lo'ak rolled his eyes, "Sure. Use me as the object of ridicule once again."

"Well it is true!" Tuk giggled with a mischievous grin on her face.

Lo'ak huffed, his hands coming to rest on his hips as he attempted to lecture Tuk, "Easy for you; you're a kid," he blurted, "Everyone carries you around; you never even had to learn to ride one!"

Neteyam scoffed, a look of disbelief on his face, "Lo'ak, she is seven."

Kiri stalked back with an exasperated look on her face, "Are you guys coming or not?"

"It is Lo'ak's fault, all he does is talk!" you quipped playfully with a smile, knowingly trying to get under his skin.

"I will push you off this mountain."

After a bit more bickering and a lot more climbing, you found yourselves close to the mountain peak, a large waterfall framing the path you assumed you were to take.

The five of you connected hands, with Tuk between Neteyam and Lo'ak, followed by you and Kiri. Cautiously, you all crept along the ledge behind the waterfall to reach a clearing with a myriad of ikrans. Finally, you all climbed onto some nearby rocks overlooking the creatures.

"They are beautiful," You whispered with a peaceful smile.

"They are," Lo'ak agreed, turning to you with a suspicious smirk, "Now you will tame one."

You spun to him in surprise, your brow furrowed in annoyance, "What?"

The four siblings tried to hold their laughs in but miserably failed.

"Do it, (Y/N)! We learned to ride ilus. Now you need to learn to ride an ikran." Kiri egged on, Tuk accompanying her with "Yes"s.

You looked to Neteyam for a semblance of help, but he merely shrugged as if to say you were on your own.

"No! What if I fall?" you sneered.

"I'll call my ikran, and we'll catch you," Neteyam quipped confidently.

"Where is your ikran exactly?" You challenged.

"Close by," Neteyam replied, "...probably."

"Neteyam!" you whined, slapping his arm.

Said boy snickered softly, a cheeky grin on his face, "I am only joking! I promise you will not die; I will catch you."

"Well what if they attack me?"

"They won't attack you," Lo'ak replied, "All at once."

You scowled at him suspiciously, "Your wording was awfully specific."

"I was just answering your question!" Lo'ak exclaimed, trying to mask a giggle as he threw his hands up defensively.

"(Y/N). You're not alone. We will help if we see you are about to die." Kiri chuckled.

You gave in with a sigh of irritation, "Okay. Fine," After a moment's reflection, you looked out at the sea of ikrans feeling somewhat determined, "So I just pick one?"

"Wellll… not really," Neteyam trailed off, a slightly guilty grimace on his face.

"Okay," you deadpanned, "How do I know which one to choose?"

"It will attack you," Lo'ak stated bluntly.

If looks could kill, Lo'ak would be dead.

"You forest people must have a death wish."

You knew you most definitely should not be doing this; your mother would probably lecture you until the end of time if she knew what you were doing. And yet there you were, making your way through the ikrans, about to tame one. You could faintly hear the four siblings cheering you on in the background, but you were primarily focused on not getting mauled to death by the enormous creatures. You were so out of your comfort zone when it came to ikrans. They were big, fast, vicious; how those morons managed to convince you to do this, you will never know.

You walked across the clearing, eyes darting cautiously at every sudden movement. To your dismay, every ikran you approached flew away, and as you counted up to 10 creatures flying away, you started to get discouraged.

Your shoulders slumped in bitter disappointment, and you turned back to the group watching you, "I don't think this is working."

"Keep going!" Kiri exclaimed amongst the acclamations of her siblings.

This was humiliating.

"Please, they are all leaving!" You pouted slightly, pleading with Eywa that they'll let you off the hook and allow you to return.

Suddenly, Neteyam's eyes widened, his body lurching forward and his hands anxiously clasping the mossy branch in front of him, "Watch out!"

A hiss sounded behind you, and you released a shriek as you dove away from the sound and rolled to face the creature that had chosen you as its target. The admittedly gorgeous banshee stepped towards you, a menacing look in its eye as it screeched in your face, sharp teeth bared.

"Took your time, didn't you?" You taunted, standing to face the creature before hissing at it. The two of you circled each other before it dove forward, and you skillfully manoeuvred out of the way to avoid its razor-sharp fangs. Finally, you grabbed its head, wrapping both arms and legs around its neck to attempt to control it.

"Fight it!" Lo'ak screamed.

"Make the bond!" Kiri joined.

You grappled with the mighty reptile as it fought back viciously, but you somehow found the strength to overpower it and connect your queues. Immediately the ikran calmed, and you felt the bond you formed with the creature deep in your bones. A gleeful laugh escaped your throat as your ikran stood slowly with you on its back.

Neteyam breathed a sigh of relief, releasing the iron grip he had on the flora around him. Lo'ak only laughed, playfully punching his brother's shoulder, "I told you they could do it, Neteyam."

Kiri wasted no time and leapt over the rocks to meet you, her siblings in tow.

"You must fly now to seal the bond," she proclaimed.

"You've got this. It's like an ilu. Just no water," Lo'ak said cheekily.

You turned to Neteyam, who was now carrying Tuk on his back, "Trust yourself. We'll be right behind you."

You nodded, breathing deep and turning to face the cliff, staring at the sky ahead. And when you felt that both you and your banshee were ready, you commanded it to fly.

It jerked suddenly, and you released a loud shriek as it nosedived off the mountain. Your body lifted off its back until the only thing keeping you connected was your iron grip on its antennae (and your prayers). Just as you managed to pull back and get the ikran to glide straight, it flew directly into a waterfall, stunning you and making you lose focus. The poor animal tried its best to fly but panicked once again, fluttered directly into a cliffside, then up and down... and up and down again. It would have been an understatement to say you were doing terribly, and the harder you tried to gain control, the harder it was.

"(Y/N)!" You turned to the sound of your name being called to see Lo'ak to your left on his own ikran, "Steady! Stay calm, and your ikran will listen!"

Taking deep breaths, you tried your best to focus on the sound of Lo'ak speaking and calm yourself down. To your delight, eventually your ikran levelled out, soaring straight.

"Yes, (Y/N)! You're flying!" An adorable, excited voice cheered. You turned to your right to see Tuk hanging on Neteyam's back as he flew his ikran. Neteyam wore a huge, proud smile, and he whooped along with his little sister.

Behind you was Kiri on her ikran, one arm in the air as she bellowed excitedly. A proud smile took over your face, and you let out an enthusiastic trill, your friends joining you.

When it was apparent that you had your flying under control, Neteyam spoke up, "Follow me! I'll take us somewhere you will not believe."

"You did what?!" Neytiri hissed. The five of you stood in a row in front of her, gazes lowered and ears pointing back in shame.

"Their parents trust us to look after them for three days, and you take them to do one of the most dangerous things they could have done here?" Jake joined, primarily lecturing his two sons, who he knew were most likely the instigators.

Lo'ak huffed, "They're fine, though."

"Yes, I am fine-"

"They could have died!" Neytiri yelled, "And you took Tuk with you? What were you thinking?!"

You were silly to even try to get a word in. There would clearly not be any winning this argument, so you all hung your heads in shame and accepted the lecture.

"-and no more causing trouble. For the one day (Y/N) has left here. Can you do that?" Jake concluded.

You all answered with obedient "Yes sir"s before moping away in silence.

When you were far enough away from the two adults, you finally let out the giggle you had been holding back, and the others joined in.

"So worth it."

a/n: currently working on some requests :) thank you to everyone who has been giving attention to my posts and sending in requests, it makes me so happy! i’m seeing avatar 2 again tomorrow so hopefully it will strike some inspiration again <3

#neteyam x reader #lo'ak x reader #kiri x reader #avatar x reader #neteyam #lo'ak sully #kiri sully #my fics˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

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moonydustx · 7 months

Text

The Night of Confessions.

masterlist | requests

Summary: After finding the ship's crew member who was invading the kitchen at night, Sanji and the reader become friends. What can please a cook to thank for the good friendship?

Warnings: lots of flashbacks (all in italic), takes place a few weeks after part 1. reader with some insecure thoughts. a hint of a sad reader, fluff in general. sorry for possible errors, story not proofread.

WC: 3.3k

Pairing: Sanji x F!Reader (more thought of as OPLA!Sanji, but I've been loving the anime, so feel free with your choice).

A/N: A total of zero people asked and I still did it! In fact, I had thought of 3 parts for the story (the last one would be a smut that I'm still really thinking about, since I have an idea for the same theme for Zoro). That's it, I hope you like it and who knows, maybe I'll come back with more of this soon.

Read part 1 here

Before you even opened your eyes, your hands involuntarily searched for something on the other side of the bed, unfortunately finding only the unoccupied sheet.

"Good morning, Miss." Sanji's voice reached your ears before you could even open your eyes. "

Good morning. Wait, is it daytime?"

"Yes. I believe someone managed to sleep well tonight, no nightmares." he turned towards you. Even though you were drowsy, you leaned on one of your elbows, getting closer to him.

"Yeah, I believe so." You didn't know where your eyes would go, to the disheveled blonde locks, to the almost shy smile or the clear eyes that stared at you.

You could see his eyes looking at you too, but neither of you took the right action. At least the attitude you expected. Sanji could feel your breath on his face, your eyes shone when you looked into his, enough for him to come to his senses and move away.

"I-I..." he stood up, adjusting his shirt. "My dear, I will prepare breakfast and as soon as it is ready, I will call you." he headed towards the door.

"Sanji?"

"Yes mon amour."

"Thanks."

You were unused to sleeping alone, at least compared to before. Not that you would accept any company in your room.

It was just a few nights that he spent in your company. With each one, you discovered a new thing in common.

It was difficult to understand what you felt, it was strange. It was as if all the breezes coming from the sea surrounded your stomach, or even as if it didn't matter that they were still far from the Grand Line. It was okay to take longer to achieve your goals, as long as you stayed with your crew, everything was okay. What you didn't expect was the distance.

Damn, damn distance. Little by little you noticed him moving away from you. He wouldn't leave you alone, ever, but something was slowly cooling down and that was much more intriguing than anything else the other seas could bring to you.

Even though you weren't ready to face the day, you stood up and walked to the kitchen, finding the person responsible for so many doubts in your mind. How could a damned cook leave you lost like that? Had you asked too much of his help? Or had he simply gotten tired of being your friend? What was that strange feeling again? Damn, this wasn't the time to think about that.

"Good morning Ji." Your voice caught his attention, and he smiled in your direction.

"Good morning darling. I hope you slept well." you sat in front of him, watching him cut some fruit. An idea, perhaps not the smartest, crossed your mind.

"Too much. And you?"

"Good." He remained silent for a few seconds, focused on something that looked like just a simple apple.

"Finally fell out of bed." Zoro walked past you, sitting next to you and grabbing some breakfast.

"Look who's talking, you're a walking mummy. You're constantly bandaged up and sleep everywhere." you retorted, laughing at his face.

"Let's see if you say that later." Zoro's words immediately reached Sanji, who no longer insisted on pretending not to be listening to the conversation.

"Let's see who lasts longer, cucumber head. Don't forget my order." you lightly elbowed the swordsman, who just grunted. "You promised!"

"Why don't you take it yourself? I was thinking about spending some time on other things."

"I don't think I'm going to disembark today. I'm not feeling very well." As soon as the words left your lips, Sanji's attention became all yours.

"Is there anything I can help with, ma'am?"

"No, no Sanji. Women's problems."

"One more reason for me to win today!" Zoro returned the elbow, this time making you groan. Before Sanji could curse him for the measly push, he had already left you alone.

"Maybe I can make some tea, get something ready. All you have to do is tell me, darling."

"Don't worry about it. I'll rest a little longer." You left, leaving him alone, watching you and questioning why you refused help.

You just couldn't say it was part of your plan. As they were already used to, whenever they anchored in a town or city, they would spend a day exploring the nearest areas and return to the boat at dusk - if they weren't lost in a bar - to decide whether to stay longer in the place.

You waited until you were sure everyone had left the boat to put your plan into action. Would it be a good idea to cook to please a chef? Maybe not, but it would be worth a try. At least, you already understood a little of the recipe you needed to make.

"You won't eat cold lunch food again." once again, you were scared by Sanji's presence in the kitchen. He soon stood next to you, taking the plate. "What do you want?"

"To cook!"

"Now I'm surprised. The night's sneaking out for a snack really inspired you. What are we going to do then?"

"How about some pasta?" you suggested, already eager for the answer. "I know this isn't the best time to eat this, but..."

"If it's pasta my girl wants, we'll make pasta. What will we need?" He left it up to you to respond, laughing loudly when he noticed your confusion. "You really don't do well in the kitchen, do you? I'm glad I'm here."

Flour, eggs, salt. Okay, the first ingredients were easy. Maybe it was too early to start the recipe, but you didn't want to run the risk of him arriving early and catching you in the kitchen.

It took hours for you to get the right doneness, but the pasta strands looked perfect, now all that was left to do was cook it and add it to the sauce, which you had a vague idea of what to do.

"How much longer do we have to wait?" you indicated to the pan full of water.

"Until it boils." Sanji warned, adding generous spoonfuls of salt to the water.

"Wouldn't it be too salty?"

"No, honey. When we make this kind of pasta, the water needs to be hot as hell and salty as the sea." he took a spoon and poured in some of the liquid, blowing gently as the smoke dissipated. "Try it."

His laughter upon seeing your disapproving face filled the entire ship and certainly must have disturbed the other crew members who were sleeping there.

"Hot as hell, salty as the sea. Got it."

"I knew someone sweet like you would hate this, but in the end, the recipe will be delicious. Someday, I'll make the seafood version, you'll love it, it's my favorite."

Tomatoes, shrimps and tuna. It was enough to make the sauce. You didn't want to invent much more than you knew how to do and even so, you were already feeling afraid of what might come out of it.

The day was already ending when you finished making the dish. Pasta with seafood sauce. Probably a much simpler version of what the crew cook would make. You arranged some cutlery on the table, prepared a juice with tangerines and tried to get as many things ready as possible.

"What are you doing?" the scream that came out of your throat was almost involuntary when you heard Nami.

"What, are you guys back already?"

"Just me for now." she explained, coming around the table. "Who did all this?"

"Not the official cook."

"Weren't you feeling bad?" She laughed when she saw you disconcerted. "I knew it was a lie. You asked me for help with that two weeks ago, remember?"

"Okay, maybe I was just trying to get the boys off my back."

"What I don't understand is that we already have a cook..." she put her hand on her chin, analyzing you "Do you want to take his place..."

"Never! I love Sanji's cooking!" you responded almost immediately, leaving her euphoric with the conclusion.

"I knew it! You want to impress him. You like him! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it, more money for me."

"What do you mean Nami?"

"You didn't deny it, so I'm right." trying to leave the topic of money aside, she turned you around, pushing you towards your room. "And for that, you'd better take off your soaked clothes. Get ready, I'll cover you if any of them show up."

Before you could question anything, Nami was already leading you into the room. And she was almost right, in every proposition. Firstly, you didn't just want to impress Sanji, you wanted to thank him for the time he spent being a great friend and maybe make it up to him for you upsetting him so much the last few weeks. And second, you didn't just need to change, you would need a shower to remove all the shrimp smell from your body.

With a speed you didn't yet know, you managed to do everything. Take a shower, fix your hair and choose your favorite outfit. You were ready, which made you even more nervous.

As soon as you left your room, you could see Nami breathe a sigh of relief, at the same time as the other crew members rushed into the kitchen.

"Finally. I thought I was going to need to yank you away from the door." Zoro was the first to enter, soon followed by Luffy and Usopp.

"What's that smell? Sanji, did you leave a feast ready for us?" Luffy already went straight to the table, earning a slap from Nami. "I'm hungry."

"With that smell, it's impossible not to be." Usopp added, getting slapped as well.

"Everyone eat together." she warned.

"What does it smell like..." Sanji was the last to enter, finding the table set. "What is that?"

"Well, um." you took the lead, feeling your legs tremble. Your eyes were lost in Sanji's "You've been... I mean, you've all been great friends. I wanted to prepare some delicious food for us."

"But Sanji already does that." Luffy spoke and you knew it was in the best interests, which made you laugh when you saw Nami's face at him.

"I know, I just wanted to maybe surprise you with something different."

"Then let's fill our bellies, because later I intend to fill myself with drink." Zoro settled down, picking up one of the plates. "And if it turns out good, your drink is on me today."

"Oh, of course." you replied and despite smiling, you were focused on something else.

Sanji was still standing at the door, observing the table and almost without meaning to, his gaze crossed yours. You could see them glow from afar and at the same time, you could feel your stomach churn with anticipation to know if he had liked the little surprise.

Everyone sat down to dinner and from what you heard, you were satisfied with the food and eager to tell you everything you had seen in the village. Except Sanji. He seemed intent on eating from his plate, savoring every bite.

"It was incredible!" Luffy said, finishing turning the plate into his mouth "It's good to know that we have someone who knows how to cook besides Sanji."

"Best food I've ever tasted." Zoro said and it didn't take much for you to know that he was just saying that to provoke the other cook.

"You never said that about my dishes!" Sanji's grumble made everyone at the table laugh, including you, partly because of the comment, but mainly because he had finally said something.

"You've never done anything good like this. I think now you can go back to being a waiter."

"Both foods are amazing, maybe you'll work well together." the malicious tone didn't go unnoticed in Usopp's words, making your face burn with embarrassment.

Before you could find words to respond, Nami noticed your little desperation and stood up.

"Belly full, time for Zoro to buy our drinks."

"It wasn't you I promised. Let me go, woman!" he grunted as Nami pulled him to his feet.

"We go ahead and they find us later." she suggested, hoping everyone would understand who should remain on the boat.

"But I'm still hungry." Luffy complained and one look from Nami was enough for him to stand up. "Okay, I'll go with you, but I better have some snacks."

"I'll stay here, help our cook organize things and we'll meet you there." Sanji spoke, causing Usopp to also get up and follow the three others.

As they left, you took the opportunity to start taking the dishes off the table and as soon as they were alone, you saw Sanji leave the kitchen. The anxiety that maybe you had been too clingy gnawed at you.

"Have you seen Sanji?" you asked Nami, who seemed distracted doodling something.

"Nah, he's probably stuck in the kitchen, inventing something."

You hurried along, playing cards dancing between your fingers until you found Luffy attacking the fridge. "

Ah, hi! I was just checking to make sure everything was ok here." He spoke with a mouth full of meat, making you laugh.

"Have you seen Sanji?" "It must be in his room. If you can, please don't tell him what you just saw." he smiled, amidst the pile of food.

"Leave it captain."

You went to his room, gaining the courage to knock on the door three times and hear a "Come in" from inside.

"Excuse me." you hung your body inside the room. "Everything is fine?"

"Of course, miss. Is there anything you need?"

"I wanted to know if you wanted to play cards with me. I almost didn't see you today." you proposed excitedly, a feeling that didn't last long.

"I'm sorry, I think I'd rather be alone for a bit."

After that, the late-night cooking trips stopped, and he seemed to flirt less with you, which gave you less space to respond. Maybe you were a very clingy friend, and maybe Sanji didn't like that.

The water ran while you stood still, immersed in your thoughts. What you didn't expect was to feel two arms around your body, turning off the tap and pulling your arms away from the sink.

"Leave it, mon cher." He turned to you and with some gentleness, took off the apron you had just put on. "You already made dinner, I'll take care of it later."

"Did you like it?" The words left your lips involuntarily, leaving you disconcerted under his gaze.

"Pasta with seafood sauce?" he waved with a smile, as he picked up two glasses.

You leaned against the counter opposite Sanji's and only then did you notice the bottle of wine next to you. Now his little disappearance made sense.

"The best dinner I've had in a long time." he placed the glasses next to you.

The two of them were alone there, just the two of them in the entire huge ship. Why was he so close to your body? Only a few centimeters separated them as he filled both glasses.

"Serious?" Sanji could melt right there when he saw the light in your eyes when he heard the praise. And he didn't make a point of hiding his smile because of it. "I mean, I just followed your recipe from that day."

"You said..." his smile faded, taking on a more serious tone as he took a sip of his drink. You, a nervous chaos, had almost completely turned the glass over. "You said you did all this, that it was because we were good friends..."

"Let me explain." you interrupted him, touching your hand to his chest involuntarily. Again, your brain seemed not to follow your feelings. "I know I didn't explain it well at the time, but you've been a great friend. Helping me with my sleepless nights, teaching me new things. I mean, I know I'm a little clingy and I understand you wanting some space . But today I just wanted to do this to thank you for everything you've done for me these days. You've been an incredible friend."

Before answering, he immediately put his glass aside. The hand that held the drink soon found your chin, gently lifting it so he could look you in the eyes. His hands gently cupped your face, in an affable gesture.

"I don't want to be just that. I don't want space either." he laughed, as if it were a joke that only he understood.

Your eyes were lost on Sanji's face. It was as if something pulled you and left you immersed in it, almost hypnotized.

"I don't want to see you awake at night scared, I don't want to have to leave you here alone on the ship when you're not well. I-I don't want to see you making appointments with that idiot swordsman. I-I..." all the his euphoria seemed to fade, the end coming out as just a whisper. "I don't just want to be your friend."

No warning, no permissions or no questions. Almost immediately his lips found yours softly. A long peck, testing the waters ahead. Your hands, previously hanging, found the face of your favorite cook, giving him the little courage he still lacked.

You could feel his kiss invading your mouth and heavens, that was what you expected. His hands dropped from your face and ran down the side of your body, until they reached your waist. The small cry of fright was muffled by Sanji's lips as he grabbed you by the waist and placed you on the counter, fitting himself between your legs.

You could sink there, you could let the air escape from your body and you would still die happy, but soon you felt it invade your lungs in a quick sigh, as Sanji's lips descended towards your neck, proving a path of goosebumps.

"Sanji." the damn heaven was there, hearing your voice calling him like that. Not even All Blue itself would be better than that. "Ji, wait."

His lips moved away from yours, but he didn't make a point of taking you off the bench, or taking his hands away from your body or at least disguising the fact that he couldn't stop looking at your lips, or your eyes, or any part your.

"So, you're not tired of me?"

"I just needed to get my head straight." he replied, his fingers exchanging some misunderstood pattern on your hips. "All I could think about was you and I was afraid that maybe it would go too far. That's why I took distance."

Instead of responding with words, you just sealed your lips with his, who seemed unable to contain a smile with such action.

"Even though I like it here, I think we should go. They're probably waiting for us." you warned, but Sanji just pressed your body tighter against his.

"We have drinks here and from what I remember missus, the herbal tea worked that day, so you owe me a drink."

"You have no proof." you teased him, already anticipating the comment he would make.

"If you don't remember, I slept next to you that night." he replied, as you predicted. "If you prefer me to remind you, I can sleep today, and tomorrow, and then..." with each word, he stole another kiss from your lips.

"But, I believe we should stay here, from what I remember, you weren't feeling very well today."

"Haven't you realized yet that it was a lie to stay alone on the ship? It seems easy, but that dough gave me a hard time, it took me all day to make it and..." you saw him threaten to open his lips for a laugh or some comment sarcastic about his culinary skills. "One word about this and I will now accept the drink Zoro was going to buy me."

"Lucky for you, your boyfriend is a great cook and you'll never have to worry about that."

"Boyfriend, hm?"

"For now. I don't plan on letting you go anytime soon." your lips were captured again and you finally understood that damn feeling. The sea breeze inside your stomach, the tremor in your hands and the heat in your body.

"Better not let go, cook."

#opla!sanji x reader #sanji x you #sanji imagine #one piece sanji #one piece #reader insert #fiction #sanji x reader #vinsmoke sanji

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ventiij · 9 months

Note

Hello I have a request that came to my mind. What about the sumeru boys reacting to yn staring at them as the work out. (Are any genshin characters if you like) I wanted to write this but unfortunately I have zero writing skills so if you did it would be great :D

I’ll write this with the characters in my list, yesyes

love this request 😈

watching the sumeru boys work out

(romantic, separate)

Cyno x reader; Scara x reader (implied that y/n is part of the Adventurers’ Guild); Tighnari x reader

Cyno

-seeing Cyno work out isn’t that rare, it is part of his job after all.

-ngl, he might even invite you to admire his super skills; let’s just say he doesn’t mind your presence.

-so make it spear training or just running, lifting weights and all that stuff, you’re always welcome to watch! he’s happy with your presence in general.

-let’s say he’s doing push-ups: normally, he would do them the classic way, but if you’re there, he might as well use one hand… hell, he might even try with just one finger (he fails)

-“you’re so resistant, you’ve been doing push-ups for the past… uhh..?” “push-ups? love, please, I’m just lifting Teyvat up and down.” pls ignore this ndkwnaml

-when he’s taking a break, he tries to look hot while drinking too

-no but like fr, if you’re just chilling in a corner, sat on a chair, bro will come to you running slowly while breathing heavily, he’ll grab the water bottle and try to make some of it drip all the way down to his abs to then take deep breaths while looking at you. he’ll wipe the liquid off his face and then lean in to steal a kiss, using his hands to cup your face.

-he drinks really often when you’re around 🤷‍♀️

-he also makes sure to keep close to you

-“what did you think of that?” asks for your opinion after any exercise he does, expecially the hard ones or the cool ones.

-shows you some tricks he learned after a lot of practice (pls act super surprised, he’ll feel proud of himself)

Scaramouche

-you have to be sneaky for this one

-scenario: after finishing your dailies, you claim the extra rewards, walk around the Sumeru city for a bit when suddenly you hear Scara’s voice (aka his whimpers) and that surely catches your attention, so you decide to peek through a big plant at the entrance of the building you heard it from and see the beautiful sight of your boyfriend lifting weights that might be twice as him.

-you stare for some time and woah, how does he do that? he looked so small and tiny but now? whole new impression, so there you are, sticking your head between some leaves while looking at shirtless Scara who’s turned the other way.

-well, you do it ‘till you can

-“hey, you! what are you doing?!” a random man yells at you, turns out he thought you were vandalizing the plants and as you both apologize to each other for the misunderstanding, your s/o is already looking your way, chuckling and grabbing his shirt as he walks up to you.

-“something caught your eye?” he teases you as you’re obviously flustered he found out what you were doing. “how long have you been enjoying the show for?” he smirks, waiting for an anwser. “I was just passing by, when suddenly… oh look, someone’s calling for you inside” he doesn’t turn around after you say that “no, nobody is. now anwser”

-well good luck getting out of that

-he keeps teasing you for the next 2/3 days but he actually thinks it’s cute how you like him in every shape and form (mutual feeling but he’ll never admit it)

-honestly though, he loves it when you watch him working out, he feels important so he shows off as much as possible, if you praise him he’ll be even happier and you’ll boost his confidence

Tighnari

-doesn’t work out really often because of work, but when he can, he doesn’t expect anyone to want to spectate

-he’s running some laps in a particular area of the Avidya Forest, he brought his bow and his arrows, he had laid them down on the ground next to some other objects he took along with him

-you arrive later on: you were previously looking for him since you hadn’t seen him in a couple of days, Collei was the one who told you he’d be where he is.

-he’s so concentrated, looking at his surroundings in the smallest detail, stopping every now and then to observe little plants or creatures, “so cute!” you think as you take a seat next to his belongings and watch as Tighnari proceeds to work out and really just warming up for the rest of the exercises he planned

-when it’s time for him to take his bow, he turns in your direction and his eyes open wide as he sees you. you wave hello and he comes up to you

-“y/n? when did you get here, love?” he asks you as he sits next to you “not long ago, actually. how are you?” “hmm..” he kisses you. “I’m fine. better than before, since you’re here.”

-you pet his head and ears while talking. the situation takes a gigantic turn and it’s now extra romantic and cute

-you guys cuddle a bit, then he asks you if you wanna join him and work out toghether

#scaramouche x reader #scara x reader #genshin scara #scaramouche #cyno x reader #cyno ff #cyno bf #cyno oneshot #tighnari x reader #tighnari genshin #tighnari #tighnari fluff #genshin fluff #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #genshin x reader

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iuwon · 2 years

Text

X ▸ yang jungwon (part i)

▸ DESCRIPTION : what do you get when you have a stupid asshole of a bestfriend (who’s completely head over heels for you, should he add) and a fucked up ego that refuses to admit any form of defeat? you guessed it: the summoning of a jealous ex-boyfriend who dumped you two years ago, and is hell-bent on winning you back.

▸ PAIRING : ex!yang jungwon x female reader (feat. nishimura riki)

▸ GENRE(S) : angst, fluff, slow burn, exes au, college au

▸ WORD COUNT : 28.5k+

▸ WARNING(S) : this is very fast-paced for a slow burn, VERY cringe-y angst and writing (pls spare me it’s my first time😭), fake-dating with riki, JUNGWON REDEMPTION ARC ON PART 2, breakup scenes, indication of hang-ups and love triangles, jealousy, profanities, mentions of a car accident, blood, flashbacks from before and after the breakup, both reader and jungwon have issues :D, this has a second part because the fic is too long, not proofread, kindly let me know if there are any more ^-^

▸ SPOTIFY PLAYLIST : here

▸ UPDATED A/N : hello!! i finished this fic on the start of 2022 and then left it like that when i went on my hiatus, so rereading it nearing the end of 2022 .. i CANNOT take this seriously LMFAOO i was high and i dramatized everything im sawry. But. this is the longest fic i’ve written so far and for that i’m sort of :D i have little to almost zero experience of writing long fics AND angst, so i really hope to any who read this won’t have any high expectations T^T pls lmk your thoughts on this one!

▸ REQUESTED! for my scorpio twin anon :)

SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST LIKE KITES.

Someone had said that once, you remember. They’re the type of people that don’t have their two feet planted anywhere near the ground. They fly, and they keep flying. They have their mind fixated on solely reaching higher and higher up the sky just to blissfully enjoy the breeze.

They continue to fly up once the string is held securely in someone’s hand. The thought never crosses their mind that the person holding the string might ever grow tired, or that the person would only continue to hold on because it’s hard to release the string - because it’s hard to let go.

Sometimes, the kite flies away. Either the wind current was too strong, or maybe it slipped out of your grasp. In the end, the one holding the kite is always the one to blame for carelessly losing them - it’s the person who mourns of the lost kite and suffers the consequences.

↻ … ᶠˡᵃˢʰᵇᵃᶜᵏ

You were the type that always focused on studies.

A homebody was what you were. To you, school was meant for school. The topic of boys never interested you, and Yang Jungwon wasn’t anywhere never of an exemption.

Yang Jungwon, the notorious musical genius – the charming boy-wonder who lived in his own 4D world. People could say countless of sweet things to describe him, but you would forever see him as a person who was incapable of holding an interest for anyone for longer than his short attention span could hold – much more a romantic one.

You hissed in frustration, “Yang Jungwon, I swear to God, if you will not leave me alone -” your tone doesn’t faze him at all, as expected. He was immune to all your threats and remarks long before. A wide cheeky grin splits open his features before his hand reaches over and snatches your chemistry textbook at the mid-sentence of your threat, peeking over at it, “Chemical bonding?” he reads aloud, titling his head.

And he irritates you further. Your mid-term finals were next week, and you were barely getting any of the subjects done at this rate. You were close to college, and you did not want to have anything, or anyone mess it up.

You glare at him, “I’ve been at the same topic for the past half hour because of you,” trying to reach over your stolen textbook from the boy who never just seemed to leave you alone, his lips tug downwards in a musing pout. He stares at you before his eyes light up in thought.

Without another word, he leaves his chair beside you, not before passing you your book. You immediately grip onto your textbook with relief, skeptical that he’d grab it back away from you again.

Moments pass and you have the time all to yourself to study, but it’s too quiet for you - despite being at a bustling café. You turn your head to both your sides, eyes subconsciously searching for him. You blink, where did he go? Did you manage to kick him out once and for all -?

A whisper from your left ear interrupts your thoughts, and you feel a warm figure lightly pressing against you from behind, “try to sing out the formulas, they’re easier to remember.”

You almost yelp in surprise, jumping away from him. Where the hell did he come from? “Yah, are you crazy -?” you began, but he starts to lightheartedly poke fun. “C’mon, do it. It’ll be easier to remember,” he encourages you, pulling out a guitar from behind. You didn’t even bother to question where he had the time to get his guitar. All you were thinking about were ways to make him leave.

You shot him a look, annoyed. “Do what?”

He was always so childish. So bothersome.

He randomly strums out his guitar strings before picking up a tune, “Sing the formulas out,” his eyes momentarily directed you to the textbook laid out on the table, “I’ll help you with the melody. Go on,” you were ready to throw a harsh retort at him, telling him off to how he was wasting your time and how his idea was stupid - but his eyes; his perfectly shaped eyes looking ever so purely earnest your way.

You hated it.

You weren’t a musical genius or any of that sort, that was all Jungwon. You couldn’t just whip out the best melodic high note nor could you memorize a thousand slide powerpoint discussion even with the help of music. He didn’t have to worry about his grades - hence, his carefree attitude - and he didn’t have to stress over finals week when his career in music was already made out for him. All he ever did around school was tag along and annoy you, try the most obnoxious attempts to ask you out, play his guitar, and listen to music in the earphones he never took off.

You hesitantly look away, if you went along with him - maybe he’d go away once he got what he wanted to do. Little did you know how helpful the technique Jungwon suggested came out - or how fun it actually tuned out to be despite how awful your voice was, he was still looking at you like you were the singing like the angels.

Barely another hour later, you remarkably managed to get it all by heart and cover the topics that couldn’t have been covered in at least three days - with the help of the one person who has been disturbing you from studying in the first place. You could only gawk dumbly at his guitar.

Jungwon could sense your astonishment from miles away, and that made him all the more complacent with the huge beam he was wearing on his face. He wasn’t going to merely let this go. That trademark boyish look of his is back. “For my payment of very helpful service,” he starts as if you had ever asked him in the first place as he pretends to think, humming, “I’ll accept it in forms of you allowing me to take you out,” he suggests gleefully, his eyes sparkling in mischief.

You would normally scoff at his attempt yet again, telling him off - but this time. You couldn’t keep count of the endless tries he’s pulled this trick. This time you helplessly shake your head with a roll of your eyes. You couldn’t keep count of anything anymore, nor were you going to start now.

Yang Jungwon wasn’t going to give up on you.

… ᵉⁿᵈ ᶠˡᵃˢʰᵇᵃᶜᵏ ↺

TWO YEARS LATER [ JUNGWON’S POV ]

Through the extent of his memory, you never failed to take care of Yang Jungwon.

Not once. No matter how hard you would push him aside and passively act like you didn’t care much about him, you would be there for him; you would always be there. By his side.

And then you were gone.

Jungwon was two years older now.

Checking the items in his shopping bag to see if everything was complete, he leaves the grocery store, rummaging through his purchased items when his body swiftly crashes onto something. He takes a few steps to regain his stance as he stumbles backward.

“Oh, sorry,” someone says, and it takes a moment or two before he snapped out of his daze. He turns instinctively to the direction of the voice as he tries to readjust his grip on his pile of bags.

That voice. He knows that voice.

But for a moment, his breathing halts, body stiffening instantly at the sight of someone he’d never expected to see. Never. Never again. Because this time, it’s you.

You.

You blink, showing mild surprise. And indifference. As if you were looking straight at a stranger. Your eyes pointedly averts itself away from him while you keep the proper formalities and try to start a conversation with your composure, “Uh, hello. How are you?”

To say that he’s caught off guard is too much of an understatement.

You looked different.

You looked good.

No.

You looked beautiful.

Is he dead? No, wait. What? Air gets knocked out of his lungs and he feels like he’s been punched in the gut at the same time.

You looked more beautiful than the image that he had of you for the past years, and it breaks him.

Like nothing has ever pulled you down – as if leaving you only did you good – as if it never happened or affected you by the least.

How could you look so well?

To say that Jungwon looked like a mess was an understatement.

He bit his tongue, cursing for choosing the greatest timing. He tugged at the hem of his shirt, subtly trying to adjust it. What should he do . . . now? How should he start?

How were you? Why didn’t you look for him? Were you doing fine? Did you find someone else? Have you moved on? Should he move on? Did you -

In the short silence, you seemed to be relieved to receive a text message, the ding that gives you an excuse to look away and check your phone. You make a face, feeling suddenly alarmed. Expression rushed, you formally bid him goodbye, and it fucking hurts him even more. “Nice seeing you. I should be on my way now. Have a nice day.”

A strangers’ nice pleasantry. With no sincerity.

But you walk away, leaving him – not bothering to ask him for another meet-up. Jungwon is left standing in the middle of the street, dumbfounded.

Like it ended here.

Is this it?

He wasn’t even able to get to say anything.

This was worse than being nothing to each other.

It was worse than being treated like someone you hated.

He tries to inhale.

Jungwon has no idea, honestly. Not anymore.

One day, he had told himself for years.

One day, he would broadly smile at you. He’d stand proudly confident, and you’d know that he’s gotten over you for good. He’d win and see that he’s no longer suffering. You would see. You would. He’d get over you.

But bumping into you for the first time in years had Jungwon rethinking if he’s ever gotten over your eyes in the first place.

PRESENT

You can sulk for a little, throw a tantrum - but a kite is a kite. There’s no chance of it coming back; once you let go, it doesn’t look back at you to pause and run back to your hold. There was only one thing you could do from thereon: you could always forget about it, toss it aside like a child does, and replace it with a new one; making sure it’s a much better kind.

That. That was something you reminded yourself time and time again for the past two years. Though the line was taken from a measly television show that you’ve watched long ago, it’s been the only line of string that kept you from looking back - like a mother telling her child to stop crying over a lost kite.

But, right then and there, it was like time itself pauses for you when you stand in the same café four years ago, hearing the all-familiar voice that you could never forget. There, when you feel your heart beating out of your control and dropping dead. There, where you’re not sure of the extent of what you could restrain yourself from doing.

You don’t know how you’re suddenly transported to the direction of the soft voice - it’s familiarity greeting you, and for a brief second, the memories you’ve burned long ago painfully flash back to mind - you almost flinch.

[ now playing ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ train wreck by james arthur ]

“I don’t wanna lose this, but I’m not getting through this. Hey, should I pray? Should I pray? Yeah,” Yang Jungwon.

It’s him.

Him, with his stupidly beautiful voice and his damn entrancing presence dragging you back harder than you remembered, and the pain he’s trying to immerse himself in as he ignores his physical surroundings.

And you.

You, as you’re trying to fight away the haunting flash of memories that are slowly starting to accompany you, and you, as you could do nothing but fleetingly watch him.

This was the second time you’ve bumped into him. You snorted, why was he always everywhere you went?

And it was like after the years of methodically stitching yourself back together, you’re transported back to the same person you were two years ago.

A fool.

“To myself? To a God? To a savior who can …”

You admit, there were days where you forgot his face - or in other words, days where you refused to acknowledge how he used to look at you. Days where it was too painful to even think about.

You swear to yourself that those days are long over.

Standing across the end of the room after three years of absolutely nothing from him felt suffocating, as if there was no air to breathe. You didn’t realize you were holding in a short breath, and when you exhaled - you felt pinning, and needles, and knives stabbed deep into your lungs.

“Unbreak the broken, unsay these spoken words. Find hope in the hopeless - pull me out of the train wreck,”

When Jungwon’s eyes slowly open, the first thing he sees is you.

Both your eyes meet, and he freezes. All too slowly. Everything in motion. You notice how his eyes widen, and how the old memories flash in his eyes all the same.

PainMiseryHurtDisbeliefHope-

The regret.

All this happens in front of you. A dream. A nightmare. All at once. Your face remains passive and unaffected, hard - nonchalant with ease, refusing to feel bothered. Time seems slow, but you don’t hesitate to casually walk away, being the first to break eye-contact. You didn’t want to spend another second in that room.

Your grip on the drink in hand tightens in its own accord.

You’ve moved on.

But what was this sort of feeling enveloping you in?

A teasing wolf-whistle startles you on your way out of the café, ripping you out of the lethargic trance you were warped into. “Was that an ex I saw over there?” You find Nishimura Riki with his shit-eating face and his waggling of eyebrows up beside you. Grimacing at his face, you harshly nudge your elbow to his sides in annoyance.

Breathing is a little bit easier with him around.

But you still feel like vomiting. “Is shutting up not part of how your brain is wired?” you roll your eyes, showing no effort at all to hide your agitation. He lets out an amused laugh, his playful gaze only duplicating itself as he proceeds to brutally tease you.

Riki isn’t an asshole. Not really. He’s what you’d call your best friend … without much other choice. Though he can perfectly embody one, he knows his limits (though you may sometimes find yourself doubting it) and the extents to where he can joke around. He can be all sorts annoying and a douche whenever food is on the line, but he’s the only one who’s stuck with you since day one of what happened two years ago - and never bothered to pressure you into questions that tormented you even further.

You lost contact with the friends you had once shared along with Jungwon. It felt embarrassing and uncomfortable to hang around them with everyone aware of what happened, until it was long months later that it just didn’t seem right to suddenly start hanging around them again after your efforts vigorously avoiding them.

You’ve lost a lot.

And you just met the man behind it all.

Nishimura Riki was sort of all you had, and he knew that too. He figured everything that happened eventually through time, by himself. Picking up the little things wasn’t too difficult to do, neither was piecing everything together with a little help and slow nudge from you over the years.

“He’s moving in this building, you know,” he looks over to your side.

Your stomach lurches, freezing in place. Your jaw nearly drops to the floor, gaping at him like your eyes would bulge out any second.

Over your fucking dead body.

That building was precisely the building you lived in. “What?” you nearly yell, causing passersby walking along the sidewalks to throw the both of you looks.

He rolls his eyes, “Geez, princess, clam down. I was kidding,” he bumps his shoulder next to yours, as if he was trying to shake you up. He starts going over about how you were showing ‘hang-ups’ symptoms before you start barking a mouthful of threatening-nothings to have him shut his mouth, running after him.

Something rings different, however.

Yang Jungwon.

The name lingers in the back of your head, no matter how hard you try to push it away. It’s been three years, but when the kite you’ve lost years ago - the kite you swore you’ve already forgotten about - comes back, what then?

↻ … ᶠˡᵃˢʰᵇᵃᶜᵏ

You weren’t necessarily the warmest type of person.

Blank faces, blunt responses, and sharp glares were all people received from you. You got others avoiding you in return, it was a give and take situation that benefited perfectly on both sides – perhaps more on your side. It worked as a repellent to kept everyone off your radar. And you liked that. You enjoyed being left alone. You found peace in your own solitude, away from other people. You were never exactly fond of people, either way.

Yang Jungwon was certainly a different breed.

Maybe it was the challenge that he liked, at first. You; the unwavering and ‘unbeatable’ challenge that provoked him – enticed him. That kept him coming. You were a brick wall, and he was someone who had the world at the palm of his hand.

But you don’t know how his intentions changed along the way.

You don’t know what made him change his mind – or what part of you that he saw that made him choose to do so, but it wasn’t of any use to figure out how.

Because he wanted you, now.

And he would ever-so-bluntly admit that.

All your efforts of shrugging him off made him fight harder for you. It was useless. The more you would curse at him with the harshest words just made him want to tag along by your side even more with that boyish grin never leaving his face.

He was a weird one.

“You know, you’re not as mean as how the people label you as.”

“And you’re more annoying than they claim you to be,” you don’t crack an amused smile. Jungwon wonders if he’s ever seen you smile – or even wear anything else of an expression that didn’t look bored, annoyed, angry, or enraged. He takes a moment to visualize how beautiful you would look when you smile and decides that he’ll do anything to see that happen. Just like that.

“You keep tossing me away,” he defended himself, the corner of his lips tugging downwards in the smallest pout.

“You keep coming back,” you retorted back, eyes shooting daggers.

By the look of his face, you realize your response wasn’t the best. “I’ll keep coming back to you,” he finishes. A lopsided grin. His brain was wired differently.

You didn’t hold back your prolonged suffering exhale.

It was a careless remark.

Such a recklessly made promise.

… ᵉⁿᵈ ᶠˡᵃˢʰᵇᵃᶜᵏ ↺

↻ … ᶠˡᵃˢʰᵇᵃᶜᵏ

[ JUNGWON’S POV ]

No one loves you like Yang Jungwon.

Whenever you’re blabbering about something with the biggest smile on your face, every time at that exact moment Jungwon knows that no one can ever be as fucking in love you like a dumb plain sheet of white paper like he can. Nor can they get to know you - or the 2 am you. They wouldn’t get to know how beautiful you look with the one side-lamp illuminating a side of your face - and the little things that come along with it, it’s only him.

It’s only him.

But when he stares into your eyes, he knows it all too. No one is as bad for you as Jungwon is either, he believes, and it fucking destroys him as he holds onto you tighter, his hands slightly trembling. He can’t lose you, he doesn’t want to, and he doesn’t know the person he’ll become if he ever does. He doesn’t know if he’ll even make a day after it.

Why didn’t he think that there would ever be an end to a sweet dream?

Yang Jungwon is your first, but someone else is going to be your last.

Someone else that wasn’t him.

He muffles the sound of the soft cries that escape him as you peacefully sleep next to him in his tight hold, unaware of what’s to come.

He’s everything that he promised you he would never be.

… ᵉⁿᵈ ᶠˡᵃˢʰᵇᵃᶜᵏ ↺

THE NEXT WEEK

Riki must’ve placed some sort of curse on you for this to happen.

You could vividly imagine his shit-eating face with his loud laughter already.

Whatever witchcraft or shitty attempt of ‘fate’ this was, Nishimura Riki was going to be the cause of your death. Though this has barely anything to do with him, you can’t think of anyone else that brings that much bad luck to you. You’re seriously starting to think the world is unreservedly just fucking with you for entertainment.

Just when you thought you were never going to see him again.

Yang Jungwon stands at the front of the classroom, leaning on one foot with a backpack slung over his one shoulder. You almost facepalm, this was some Egyptian curse that was going to follow and haunt you, wasn’t it? Perhaps the ghost haunting you was in the form of your ex-boyfriend.

Of course, the new student had to just be him.

You never thought you would ever see him again. Thankfully, he doesn’t notice you and sits the farthest from your area. You keep your head focused on the individual work assigned to the class. If this whole thing could keep up, you could probably spend the next semester without him knowing you’re in the same class, then, you could hopefully change classes by the next - it wouldn’t be so bad. You didn’t have to acknowledge him.

That is, until the Professor starts assigning him roles and tasks. “There are the modules for you to read, and then around four individual minor projects to keep up with. The fifth individual project, however, majorly affects your grade,” he pauses, lightly smacking his lips as he scans his student list.

He flips through papers as he continues, “since you’ve missed most of the term, I’ll be pairing you up with Lim Seoyeon,” he drags the last word, scurrying through his papers to find another name, “and Y/L/N Y/N. Both are only lacking their thesis papers, while the others are still lacking to submit three projects, so it would be most convenient for her compared to the rest.”

Your stomach churns, feeling sick. Physically cringing, you felt like creating an uproar. Wherever Yang Jungwon goes, trouble always follows; this simply could not be happening to you. Lord, it was the least convenient to you.

This world couldn’t hate you this much.

You wanted to curse any of the gods above you placed you in this shithole, being beyond frustrated and unwilling. Anyone but him. You could only mournfully regret passing all your projects in advance, it was ironic. You get yourself into fucked up situations for being a good student? What is this university?

The Professor doesn’t clarify anything with you - nor does he justify the situation and the injustice, but only throws a nod in acknowledgement in your direction before he waves at Jungwon in dismissal - excusing himself from the classroom.

Your eyes could almost bulge out.

What was happening . . . ?

Jungwon’s eyes sweep over the room before he finds you, but you note how he doesn’t look the least surprised to see you. He stares, trying to discern your expression, but you once again break eye contact within a second.

You were in hell.

You had no option to stalk up to the teacher’s desk to bargain when the professor wasn’t there in the first place. You were fucking stuck with him. You felt the burning flames when he got up to make his way to you, and as he stood right in front of you. Choking to death because of a meatball in live television seemed like a much peaceful idea that kept most of your remaining dignity.

Maybe if you kept your head buried with studies, he would go away.

“Y/N,” a voice acknowledges you.

Fuck, you could remember that voice anywhere.

“It’s nice to see you.” Yang Jungwon.

You made a noise in response.

The feeling was not reciprocated.

You hate the way he sounds.

Like he wasn’t the same person three years ago.

You forcefully nod curtly at him, and you’re drowning.

Suddenly, we are strangers again. An unwanted stranger. There was no other option rather than tolerating him until it was all fine. You could do this. You didn’t want to, but you had to, otherwise you’d be at the polar end of the classroom by now if you had the choice.

But you chose to ignore him: Ignore the fact that he sat right next to you in close proximity, ignore the fact that you could smell his cologne - the familiarity of it and how it smelled like home, and ignored him like he never existed when he tried asking questions. In your defense, either they were a waste of time to answer, or they could easily be found in the textbook.

“Hi, I was wondering if –” Ignore it.

“Do you know where the questions for –?” Ignore it.

“Don’t you think this project is pretty difficult –?” Ignore it.

And you turned a blind eye to the fact that you disregarded him because you didn’t know if you could control yourself.

Seoyeon was a lifesaver, managing to keep you sane as she voluntarily chose to step in to help Jungwon out after hearing all his questions directed to you left unanswered. You wouldn’t know what you would do if you were forced alone with him. She reads the room but doesn’t question anything.

You tell yourself it was anger that made yourself this way.

Blind consuming anger.

You hate how Jungwon could still manage read you after all this time.

A quiet and gentle question, “Y/N, are you mad at me?”

You barely react, but your eyes squint on their own. You weren’t going to lie nor deny it, you do really wish he hadn’t chosen to interact with you. Staring blankly at your laptop screen, you don’t move. A hushed voice - a subconscious that you swore you lost long ago - in the back of your head whispers an answer before you force yourself to shove it down. You almost scoffed; are you mad at him? What kind of a dumb question is that?

He was nothing but an ass, he hadn’t changed.

“No, why would I be?” You answer brusquely, your tone signifying that you were keeping a distance from him without having to say it.

You hope the cue was taken.

There was no need to keep the friendliness with him – you weren’t obligated to. Formalities were all there was left. At least you would treat him with the respect that you were scraping your skin out for, right? Whatever you had with him - it was over. It was long gone.

You refused to be controlled under the palm of his hand ever again.

You swiftly pack your belongings and left him without a work or glance to spare his way the second you hear the bell signal the end of the period right on time. You don’t even bid your classmate, Seoyeon, goodbye. You’d apologize to her later and explain things to her, hoping she’d understand and lend a helping hand.

It’s been two years and the minute he shows up, you find yourself crumbling and unable to control yourself, and that frustrates you. You’re slipping.

Being around him was a waste of energy.

You remind yourself that you feel nothing.

He was a stranger to you now.

Once again, you walked away from him, gripping the strap of your backpack tightly in sheer annoyance and vexation. Mind racing, you try to find a reason; why was Yang Jungwon in your major and university and what in the heavens above does he want from you?

LATER

Riki roars in laughter, his hand slapping his knee as he nearly falls off the chair. You were almost tempted to push him off.

“You think it can’t get any funnier than that, but it does!” he pretends to wipe away a fake tear, “you ignored him all the way through!” he bursts into fits laughter once again.

“Poor guy, getting the silent treatment from someone like Y/N on your first day at college is depressing,” he empathizes, though it doesn’t sound by any means sincere. Nothing about Nishimura Riki is sincere. “At least I’m not the only one Y/N treats like shit!” he notes positively with a beam on his face, but you’re not sure if that’s anything that’s supposed to be of positive news.

You whack the back of his head, and he whines. “When have I ever treated you like shit, you dumbass?”

“I’m taking this as a form of harassment,” he grumbles.

You stick your tongue out at him mischievously, “Oh, boo-hoo, you big baby, ‘s not like you don’t bully the hell out of me,” you roll your eyes, “and help out and do something about Jungwon, will you?” you ask him for a favor, your tone indicating exhaustion.

He furrows his eyebrows at you, “What’d you want me to do - bury his body? Doll, I barely even know the guy.”

You swing your arms - shooing something nonexistent away for gesturing, “Just keep him away! I don’t know, do one of those stupid ideas that you always come up with. I can’t stand seeing his face,” you complain, almost childishly stomping your feet in outrage. This was unlike you.

He lowly whistles, “I was really hoping for some real kind of exes-to-lovers type of k-drama lead coming to life,” he comments, and you muster the biggest disgusted glare at him. He only shrugs his shoulders with a mere ‘hey-what-can-you-do?’.

“However, there’s a …” he trails off, lighting up like a lightbulb with an idea in mind already.

You raise a brow, “A what?”

He looks at you with a grin, suggestively wiggling his eyebrows, “We can fake-date.”

You were dumb to ask him for ideas. You groan. “Not again.”

“C’mon,” he probes you, tugging at your arm. Was he really that bored with his life to want to fake-date you?

You blankly stare at him, deadpanned. “You get dumber and dumber the more I talk to you,” you don’t hold back from telling him, receiving a dirty scowl thrown at you, “I’m serious! Isn’t that what people do whenever one of their exes show up?”

Squinting at him, you ask, “Just how many fanfics have you been reading?”

He crosses his arms, “Make fun of me all you want, but we both know that those ideas never fail,” he huffs, “you wanted him gone, didn’t you?” he tries to resonate, “Everyone thinks we’re already a thing anyway, it won’t be too hard, or would it be much of a trouble if we just went on with it. We’re basically pros at this dating thing, aren’t we?”

You pinched the bridge of your nose, “Yes, and getting back at him would feel rightfully good as hell and all but,” you sigh in exasperation, hating to be the one to ruin the fun, “doing that would mess everything up even more, I’m sure. We’d be the ones ending up as the dumb fools in the situation. Did you already forget the time we fake dated to get that girl obsessed over you off your back? And how it backfired on us?” you stated, and Riki’s thoughtful silence justified your stance.

You’d rather die the most undignified death than have Yang Jungwon win the second time around, and that was not happening under Nishimura Riki’s watch.

“If I could just turn into a wizard or anything like that and ‘magic’ him away,” you plopped an arm up on the desk, resting the side of your cheek at the palm of your hand, “probably turn him into a damn ugly and useless broomstick while at it, too.”

Riki lets out a humorous short laugh at the sight of you, “Cheer up, princess,” he slings an arm around your shoulder, poking your cheek, “I’ll help you too, and I’ll beat him up whenever he tries to go near you; hot sexy Nishimura Riki cares about your cute dumbass,” You bump your hip playfully toward his. I’m not leaving you alone, is what he was trying to say.

He’d excuse it as simply returning the favor that he asked from you. The time when the both of you fake-dated, and it backfired – forcing you to reach extreme measures that went on for months.

Right, you had Riki. And he wasn’t going to just ditch you, not like him. He’s stayed firmly next to you for the past two years through all the shit you put him though (and all the shit he put you through). Riki may have been a rascal, but he was nothing compared to how shitty Yang Jungwon was.

You simply just had to keep going and help Jungwon out in certain parts while interacting the least you could and ignore him (or preferably call Riki to tell him off, he’d love to finally be given the chance to annoy the shit out of someone) whenever he tries anything funny. As soon as it was over, you’d do your stay out of his way and pretend like nothing happened. After all, he was the one who left. If anyone was trying to run away, it’d be him.

Everything was going to be fine. You didn’t care.

It was no big deal; no extensive measures were needed.

A sharp inhale.

You didn’t know if you were lying or if you were telling the truth.

[ now playing ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ yellow by coldplay ]

↻ … ᶠˡᵃˢʰᵇᵃᶜᵏ

Jungwon liked to follow you around.

He also liked dragging you along with him with whatever excuse he could come up with. You never could really decipher what that oddball was thinking, just when you thought you caught up to him, he surprises you with something new every day.

Lee Heeseung, your senior, was discussing that week’s event that the school was holding with you when Jungwon swoops in and drags you away without second thought, “Sorry, hyung! Gotta borrow her today ~” he throws a grin, and Heeseung could only roll his eyes, staring in playful disbelief after the both of you, “ya, that’s what you said the last three times too!”

Jungwon gives the kind of pleading look you know Heeseung couldn’t resist, “I swear I’ll pay you back with free lunch, hyung!” he yells back. You were used to being dragged away or trailed around by him; it wasn’t anything of the ordinary. He winks at you.

No matter how hard you would try to avoid him or threaten him, he was always looking at you with the most mischievous silly and crazy ideas in mind.

On the other hand, he didn’t really enjoy the idea of you hanging out with other guys.

Could you call him delusional? You really wanted to.

And then there was this other instance, where Jungwon had sulked behind you the whole period, making noises that surely irritated you whilst you interviewed Park Jay for a class paper, who was a part of the varsity team. It forced you to spend the entire day with him for the interview, which Jungwon did not seem to like. It came to the point where you had to embarrassedly excuse yourself from the number of huffs and noises he was making. Jay was left giving confused looks, completely distracted from the whole topic that the whole interview was pointless no matter how hard her tried to ignore Jungwon.

“What is your deal?” You hissed at Jungwon in annoyance as soon as you scurried away from the varsity team, “you completely embarrassed me over there, you rascal!” He doesn’t hear you. He seemed deep in thought, as if he was battling with himself. Jungwon faced you with the biggest frown - looking more distraught than ever, “You don’t like him, right?”

Your mouth slightly hangs open, thrown off-guard. What?

“He isn’t your type, isn’t he? He doesn’t look like it. You’d never go for a guy like him.” He looked ridiculous – and it wasn’t much of a shock to you. An idiot and a loser. You figured it’d only be a matter of time before he completely lost his mind. It was as if he was talking to himself. You lightly whacked his arm, trying to get some sense into him and snap him out, “What are you talking about, you rascal?”

He bores his eyes onto yours, “Whatever. I won’t let you, anyway. I’ll stay by your side you ‘till the day I die if I have to.” His eyes were set with firm determination, yet you didn’t bother pressing on - being sure he was up to no good, as usual.

He was speaking, but you couldn’t piece together what he was trying to imply. You didn’t really care either, he was a weird guy. Still, you were frustrated at him for just having to mess everything up for you again, “I can’t believe you,” you muttered incredulously, turning your heel to start walking away from him – you were done with this boy.

“Hey – angel, no, wait. Where are you going –?”

… ᵉⁿᵈ ᶠˡᵃˢʰᵇᵃᶜᵏ ↺

↻ … ᶠˡᵃˢʰᵇᵃᶜᵏ

Admittedly, you didn’t hate Yang Jungwon as much when you had first met him, but the dislike started to grow at a profound rate when he started acting as a nuisance the more occasions he stuck around.

You weren’t exaggerating. Jungwon was just the epitome of overbearingly unable to understand social boundaries and your extreme dislike of having him in a 2-mile radius near you.

And you had your dignity, but Jungwon was an entirely different topic. Hiding from him in the gymnasium lockers was your last resort.

“Gotcha,” a cheery voice slides in beside you out of nowhere. Your heart almost jumped out of your body in fright, did he always have to jump-scare you out of nowhere?

“Seriously –?!”

“Stop playing hide and seek with me, angel. I’d love to play this game some other time with you but not now! We have somewhere else to go!” He has got to be shallow. Or dumb. Really dumb. You don’t know. As much as he loved blabbering endless nonsense around you that never seemed to make sense and was barely capable of leaving your side, you barely knew anything of him.

You glowered at him, “I’m not playing hide and seek with you, you rascal! I’m obviously avoiding you –!”

He pats the top of your head before gently grabbing your hand, interrupting your nth effort to knock some sense into him. “Let’s go! It’s my turn for a Y/N day.” he points forward, leaving the library baggage hall that he found you hiding in. A Y/N day? What were you to him, an item? You groan, sounding sorrow. You really thought you got away from him this time. “Yah, we’re going to miss class!”

You didn’t even know why you bothered.

Jungwon tilts his head, giving you a look as if to tell you to not worry, “We’re going to the river today, anyway. I brought my boombox with me,” he proudly tells you, and you aggravatedly sigh, feeling defeated. You swore you made all the measures needed to carefully avoid him, thinking you were finally left alone.

“Why do you always bring me along?” you deadpan, trying to wriggle free from his grasp. He was probably going to insert another flirtatious line or something among those actions. Why don’t you ever leave me alone?

You never really got it. Any of his interests, in fact. Why was he so determined to pursue you? There were countless of girls who were more of a ‘challenge’, and they were all the more interesting than you, with no doubt. What did he see in you? “Don’t you have any other friends?” you pulled a face at him. Jungwon has been by your side for such a long time that you grew accustomed to his presence, still, you weren’t going to admit that.

“I don’t want to hang out with them, I want to go with you,” he simply explains, as if it was the most obvious answer.

You furrow your eyebrows at him, irritated, yet curious as you stress, “Why?”

He pauses, still looking ahead as he guides you forward, “Being around you makes me happy.” You simply glance at him and the look he has makes you shiver.

Jungwon was always straightforward. There was not an ounce of shame in that man’s soul. He said what was on his mind without any filter, and he also had a peculiar way of thinking, which in terms, you guess, made him intelligent.

A beat passes, and you don’t find a retort to throw back at him.

Jungwon was like this beaming sunshine and busted in the dark hell you drowned yourself in.

Even if you enjoyed the darkness.

He always knew where to find you.

He found you.

… ᵉⁿᵈ ᶠˡᵃˢʰᵇᵃᶜᵏ ↺

Every year.

Every moment.

Jungwon was always there.

Yang Jungwon always knew where to find you, it was like his sixth sense. He could spot any of your bullshit or anything that you were hiding from him in a mile radius. There was no bother in hiding from him. He would always pop up by your side with a lopsided smile, carrying his guitar around and whining to you because he wanted to do something fun.

He was a bothersome child.

He was there in the times you didn’t want to see him, and he was there in the times where you needed someone but there was no one to turn to. It was as if you could summon him, you would always retort.

Making up excuses was his specialty, he always seemed to disregard everything to tag along with you. He made crazily creative alibies that never seemed to run out just in order to be able to stay by your side.

Until one day he stopped.

Until one day he ran out of reasons.

So, where was he and what was he doing two years ago when he left you the moment you needed only him the most?

One day, you woke up and he was gone. You haven’t heard from him since. Not a trace left. Not a ghost left to haunt you. And somehow, that haunted you even more.

Where did you go?

↻ … ᶠˡᵃˢʰᵇᵃᶜᵏ

You liked the pastries that Jungwon used to make for you.

You remember that he made them for you a lot. Whenever you did a job well done on a simple test or if you overworked yourself, you always found a box of your favorite flavors on your desk or locker the following day. You didn’t have to question who it was from; he didn’t have to say anything.

You weren’t accustomed to having that kind of treatment. A simple job done is merely a simple job done. There hasn’t been much of a pat on a back or a congratulatory party for the little achievements, and that was completely fine you. However, that wasn’t the case for Jungwon.

Puzzled, you held up the mysterious box, “What is this?”

“Sweets. Try them and tell me if you like them or not,” you could tell that he was anxious in anticipation. You try and hand it back over to him, “Oh, I’m not really in the mood for sweets, you can go ahead and give them to Minju though, she loves -”

“I didn’t make them for Minju,” he stands in front of you, sort of dejected and earnest. That was a new look on him. His face seemingly somewhat deflated, and somewhat embarrassed. He scratches the back of his head awkwardly, refusing to meet your gaze as he shakes his head and changes his mind, trying to reach over the box to save his dignity in the situation.

Your eyes slightly widen, processing, “Wait,” you withdraw your extended arm, looking back at the box, pointing to it, “you made this?”

“It’s not really any -” Jungwon starts, reaching out for the box for him to take back but you swat his arm away.

“You should’ve said so, dumbass! I love things homemade,” you explain lightheartedly, your eyes glittering once you open the box to reveal damn beautifully decorated chocolates. Your mouth formed an ‘o’ shape from the blow, almost gasping.

He did that?

“You don’t have to act all that, you know,” Jungwon adds, and when you spare him a glace, you realize he’s being serious.

You roll your eyes at him, ready to punch his arm. Acting? He wishes! Was he just wanting more compliments from you, or did he really believe that his baking didn’t look like the prettiest things ever? They looked too beautiful to eat but you didn’t know if you could manage to restrain yourself from eating something that looked so delicious. “Shut up, look at that! Are you, like, a world-renowned baker or something?”

As soon as nearly half of the box was eaten by you, you mentally felt something hit you, like a pang. Though you couldn’t exactly discern what. You felt something, a lurch of it. A swell of happiness, a swell of being seen, a swell of not being alone, not anymore. “Jungwon?” you looked at him.

He leaned his weight against the wall in the front of you, taking one of his earpieces off, “Mm.”

“Thanks,” It was casual, but you meant it. You really did. He could read it from your eyes. He probably spent a lot of time making these, you thought. Then you realize that’s all he ever did to you; spend his time on you.

He’s sincere. A troublesome rascal, definitely. But sincere. It’s funny how it took him to just make some homemade sweets for you to see and realize, “you’re not that bad.”

You don’t know if you left him speechless, but you walk down the hallway with him staring after you. Words left unspoken.

Something new had changed then.

You didn’t know what to call it.

But it felt good.

… ᵉⁿᵈ ᶠˡᵃˢʰᵇᵃᶜᵏ ↺

[ now playing ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ meet me at our spot by the anxiety ]

THE NEXT MORNING

[8:04 am] unknown number: hi good morning

[8:04 am] unknown number: it’s jungwon :)

[8:05 am] unknown number: i just wanted to wish u a good day

[8:06 am] unknown number: i’m really proud of u

Four text messages to ruin the start of your day.

And in addition, there it was: the exact familiar box of pastries on the desk you were at yesterday that morning.

You nearly got yourself nauseous at the sight.

Were you dreaming?

Blinking it off, you snap out of it. You scoff, Jungwon was more shameless and a lot bolder than you thought. What was the box supposed to signify? ‘I’m proud of you’?, ‘I’m sorry’?, or an ‘I miss you’? Either way, you never knew Yang Jungwon could ever stoop so low.

Two years and the first thing he does is give you a box of sweets, was he thinking it’d pay back all the shit he pulled? Bribe you with sweets and suddenly everything would be okay?

Your resentment for him grew even more.

Anger was a better feeling to experience other than any of the other emotions.

At the side of your eye, you could see Jungwon. You pretend not to, and you try so hard. You don’t miss the glances he throws you, he was probably waiting for your response.

Surely, he should expect from you that the response was going to be nothing good. Does he know you at all?

Throwing it away seemed over the top, but you didn’t know what the rest of your options were. You hesitate, eating it would only make him believe that everything’s okay. And in case Jungwon didn’t get the memo: everything is not okay.

This won’t hurt you.

You toss the box to someone else; your hands slightly freeze on its own for a moment when you realize Jungwon was watching. Only for a moment.

You weren’t taking his bait.

You didn’t want it.

You don’t look at him, and you don’t bother to see his reaction. Biting down your tongue, you jabbed your pen down the desk forcefully - you ignore the sense of guilt. He asked for it.

It takes a bit more effort to remain nonchalant this time.

Jungwon was getting in your nerves. Again.

LATER

You were dragged into a library group filled with people you barely knew of by Ningning and Seoyeon. You recognized Jake Sim from chemistry class, and a few others that you weren’t entirely confident you knew the name of. Jungwon was there. Of course, he had to be.

Though you were an expert at turning invitations and confessions down, you really weren’t much of the action type. Some would call you the ‘all bark, no bite’ type, but that was mostly because people who ensued and pressed on having it their way was just stubborn.

Most of your life, people went along your bark, it was rare that anyone went against it – but not impossible. Yang Jungwon.

The name flashes by your mind involuntarily as if it was a burn.

As if your mind works on its own, you find yourself staring at him – he paid no interest in the conversation as he mindlessly scrolled through his phone, bored. The only word he had ever said was when he had assertively stated that he wanted the seat that was close to yours. He had also joined the conversation and firmly voted against Jake sitting next to you. What a problem boy.

[02:44 pm] yang jungwon: u look good today

You were bored, but definitely not bored enough to be willing to immerse yourself into that mess.

You were entirely out of the group’s topic of conversation yourself, immersing yourself all in your head and thoughts until a girl named Naeun – you think – waggles her brows at you. “What about you, ms. ‘most-popular-with-guys’?”

“How many of them did you turn down this week?” Lee adds into it lightheartedly, poking fun.

Jungwon’s attention is immediately averted to you – and you hate that you can feel his gaze boring into your face.

You feel more uncomfortable than ever, trying to argue with them, “What? That’s not true—!”

Ningning’s eyes glint in mischievousness, taking in your denial as something you were embarrassed about as she joins into the conversation. But it wasn’t, not entirely.

You were highly uncomfortable. “Don’t deny it. You’re more than just ‘popular’ with guys. I swear I saw with my own eyes at least two guys try and hit you up on this exact library alone from the past few days.”

You could hear chortled laughter from around you.

You know none of the voices belonged to or were from Jungwon.

You’d rather suffocate.

“I heard you were pretty popular with the guys during your high school years too!” Seoyeon chirped. You felt nauseated. Where did they even hear that information? You incredulously retorted to yourself.

“D’you date any of them?” Lun from literature class pipes in, interested. You feel your face turn hot against your will. “Any hotties you can introduce me to?” someone adds into it suggestively, clearly enjoying the topic of discussion.

Your face starts to sour, reeking of irritation.

“Ooh! I remember hearing Y/N dated a guy during high school. That’s probably why she wasn’t able to date much?” Ningning suggests, and you wanted to kick her out of the room. Was anyone just not able to pick out on social cues? Was everyone not able to notice how uncomfortable you looked?

Seoyeon’s eyes enlarged in alarm, “Y/N dated before?” Despite the distressing situation, you almost slipped out a laugh, you were always known for your strong dislike towards romance and men and you liked it that way. You guess the impression still hasn’t changed.

He’s in the exact same room right now, you wanted to spit out. Your face hardens, but you don’t say anything.

“What’s the big deal? We were barely anything anyway.”

Ningning does not get your clue, instead, she looks more confused than ever. “Huh? From what I heard; you both were pretty serious.”

“You never told me anything about him,” Seoyeon complains, grabbing your arm and repeatedly swinging it around. With everyone’s attention on you, your usual ‘i-hate-everyone’ façade falls into dust.

You snort, keeping your tone casual, “About what? He was barely anyone special, in the first place.”

A bunch of unanimous curious ‘oohs’ were heard around the room. “Oohlala, spill. What made the relationship end?”

You take a thoughtful pause, as if it was the first time you were giving it thought, “He was selfish.” A shrug.

You ensure that the whole table hears your answer, especially him. Ningning scrunches her nose in distaste at your answer, “Ugh, typical. Boys really aren’t shit.”

“You’d give your entire world to them, and they decide that it’s not enough. Discontented assholes.” Lee comments with a bunch of insults thrown away without regard, and the Seoyeon pretends to vomit at the mention of boys. “Dirtbags. His loss,” is all she says.

You really don’t have any idea of what to do in this situation.

A strangled noise escapes Jungwon, and he covers it up with loud coughs. He looked like he’s just been badly burned, and you try to casually shift in your seat. The rest of the group takes it as a cue to ask him the same question as well, figuring he wanted to be included.

“And what about you, newbie?” Jake notices, an effort to try to get Jungwon to feel included. “Ever dated before?”

He stares blankly in response. A glance your way, and it takes a fraction of a second for you to avert your eyes away. You hope no one caught that. A moment. Or two. Until, “No, never.” Casually, with a helpless shrug before his attention was back on his phone. He doesn’t even regard that you were ever a part of his past.

Your insides clenches on their own.

That was it. The signal. You were back to being notoriously known for your cold behavior, good grades, and popular game with men, while Jungwon was back into his reputation of being a cute and care-free affectionate and loveable brat that would never do anyone wrong.

Everything was back the way it started.

Rewind. A start over. Where Jungwon doesn’t get to see the nurturing, caring, childish, and mischievous side of you, and where you never got to see the depth to him: his coolness and his silence. The eyebrow lifts, his head-pats, his reliability, his loyalty, his promises, his stories, his determination – everything about him that everyone missed, that was simply nothing now.

We’ll never be those kids again.

Your phone buzzes.

[02:52 pm] yang jungwon: i figured u didn’t want them to know.

[02:54pm] yang jungwon: are you mad?

Both your eyes meet in the midst of the others bickering with each other.

All the remnants of history erased.

↻ … ᶠˡᵃˢʰᵇᵃᶜᵏ

[ JUNGWON'S POV: 1 YEAR AGO ]

“I’ve been looking for you all night!” she skips, twirling in front of him, “What d’you think? I figured you might like this outfit.” She had an annoying voice, and was definitely way too clingy. Black long hair or something, honestly, any of the faces he’s seen were all only just blank and empty to him.

Jungwon doesn’t even regard her existence.

“C’mon ~” The girl drags, tugging at his arm. He doesn’t even know her name. He’s probably crossed by her more than a couple times with the way she was acting.

She was annoying. Not like you at all. No one was like you.

Jungwon was already in a sour mood. “You’ve been stuck at the couch all night, you lame-dummy!” She points a dragging finger to his chest, “No one wants to be a lame-dummy, c’mon, come with me! It’ll be fun,” she tries to persuade in a sing-song voice, inviting him in.

It doesn’t shake him by the least.

He shakes his head, shortly emitting a single scoff in irritation as he jerks away the hand on his shoulder. His tense facial features say everything. Without saying another word, he chooses to leave the room quietly and awkwardly without bidding goodbye to the other friends who invited him.

These parties were useless. Everything was useless. Every day was too boring and empty without meaning.

He had no place here.

This wasn’t where he belonged.

He damn well still belonged to that person he always has belonged to.

You.

… ᵉⁿᵈ ᶠˡᵃˢʰᵇᵃᶜᵏ ↺

[09:12 pm] yang jungwon: hello bo ;]

[09:12 pm] yang jungwon: i hope u had a good day :)

[09:17 pm] yang jungwon: i’m always here if u need me

[09:17 pm] yang jungwon: just so you know

[09:17 pm] yang jungwon: i’ll always be there

[09:20 pm] yang jungwon: and i hope i crossed your mind at least once..

read

A FEW DAYS LATER

You were beyond thankful to have Seoyeon around him to save yourself the awkward interactions.

She was the icebreaker. The only factor that allowed you to act as if Jungwon wasn’t there in the first place and ignore his existence. Given that she was an icebreaker, she was also clueless.

She had no idea of the hatred you had for him - or the reluctance to look his way, much more interact with him. It wasn’t her fault, but you wish you rather didn’t have to explain the situation to her as the only option for her to stop trying to get you and Jungwon to talk.

“Wasn’t yesterday fun? It was nice having new people around,” she brings up as a conversation starter. Jungwon was minding his business working on his project on the side, the both of you had your free time. You politely smile at her, and you know it looks genuine. Explaining things to her wasn’t ideal – you shudder that the possibilities that would happen once you’d confess the situation.

Maybe Jungwon was a private secret of your past that you were never meant to bring up to those in your present.

“That reminds me, who’s the group you hang out with? We really should hang out more.” She slightly frowns before adding, “You’re really fun!”

“You too,” you add with a half grin, and you genuinely mean it. You kindly nod in agreement with a laugh, desperate to end the topic – but Seoyeon doesn’t cease her intent of giving up her first question.

She smiles at you expectantly as she awaits for an answer, and though you know she’s really just trying to make friends, if awkward topics were all that she was going to be bringing up around you, you would rather not converse with her at all. “Oh uh, that question,” you forced a laugh that comes out awkward, “no one else, really.”

Her lips form a small ‘o’ shape, apologizing for intruding. She softly gasps, alarmed, “Really? To be honest, I think it’s because everyone’s intimidated of you. It was until a few seconds ago that the whole campus figured you had countless of friend groups. Me included.”

You furiously shake your head at her, making a dreadful face in which she giggles at, “Oh God, no.” you comment, “it’s really just me,” you pause, “and Riki of course. Riki. Me and Riki. No one else. Kind of a loner,” you coughed out an awkward ramble, but Seoyeon never even seemed to mind.

“That’s cool, neither way! I get to have you to myself,” she teases lightheartedly as she links her arm around yours.

You were too flustered to notice that Jungwon had heard everything.

THAT EVENING

[10:21 pm] yang jungwon: hi love

[10:22 pm] yang jungwon: you must be tired i hope u rest up tonight :)

[10:22 pm] yang jungwon: i’ve really missed u

[11:49 pm] yang jungwon: goodnight love, sweet dreams :) ♡

read

By the next day, at the end of class, you’re forced to work with Jungwon at the library for the afternoon. Seoyeon was running late by fifteen minutes. This was the only time you didn’t mind.

The air is cold, and the tension was cutthroat, you could suffocate, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. Starting a friendly conversation? Why even bother?

You decided to ask him straightforward the moment he tries to initiate conversation by asking you a question, cutting him off, “What are you pulling at?” you blankly stared at him, pokerfaced. Maybe you went off too aggressive, but his face slacks; he was definitely accustomed to your whole act of ignoring his existence, and probably never expected you to even spare a glance his way.

A long pause before he regains his composure, “What do you mean?” his voice is a lot quieter and controlled compared to the past. Now that you notice it, he’s changed in a lot of ways. He’s no longer the bright happy-go-lucky rascal that you were once familiar with. No longer the one who didn’t care about grades, but the one sitting beside you at one of the best universities. He’s … matured a lot.

“The messages?” cutting directly into it, your eyes narrowed on him, “what are you trying to pull at?” you interrogate him. Tell me lies. Tell me the truth. Tell me you’re leaving. Tell me you’re staying.

Surprise is written all over his face, catching him off gaurd, “They’re nothing,” he clears his throat, words getting caught in the midst of it. “I just thought … I, um,” he trailed off, avoiding direct eye contact.

Your hard gaze doesn’t falter, patience running thin. “Spit it out, Yang.”

He winces at your tone, and you wished you hadn’t seen that. “I just thought that you needed it. Not needed it exactly, but, well, I assumed - I wanted to let you know -” he doesn’t finish his sentence, but starts another one instead, “I just miss you,” he states, and he’s looking at you - you remember that kind of look. The kind of look that would once tug at your heartstrings.

Once.

You don’t know what Yang Jungwon is pulling at.

Hm.

You stare down hard at him - eyes narrowed, prospecting, judging, and surveying. You no longer tremble at his words. You don’t falter. Have you grown immune to them? Maybe you were sincerely and truly over him after all.

He was pulling at his charms. His thoughtfulness - the little aspects that’d make you believe that he actually cared; the things you so easily fell into. Not anymore. Not after you believed, once.

Once was enough. It’s all a simple game to him, isn’t it?

The day you break down in front of him and let him hold the strings again would be the day you would die.

Not showing a flicker of emotion, you nonchalantly tsked, irritated, “Don’t bother again, will you?”

Jungwon doesn’t say anything, but you feel his lingering stare.

Your settling glare on the textbook in front of you could burn holes. You let him go – you dismiss him, but he never leaves his spot.

Why does he always linger behind?

[01:03pm] yang jungwon: i don’t know if we should be alone together

read

[02:54pm] yang jungwon: i really can’t control myself when you’re around

read

[04:23pm] yang jungwon: i miss the old you

[04:26pm] yang jungwon: im sorry

read

How much was it going to take for you to admit that you felt the same?

[05:33pm] yang jungwon: just so you know i didn’t mean it that way

[05:33pm] yang jungwon: i just noticed that you’ve changed

[05:33pm] yang jungwon: of course you’ve changed

[05:35pm] yang jungwon: you don’t look at me the same anymore

read

[04:47am] yang jungwon: hi bo

[04:47am] yang jungwon: im sorry but i cant

[04:48am] yang jungwon: i really cant let you go

message delivered

A FEW WEEKS LATER

It didn’t take much for her to piece together. She noticed the pattern of behavior from you, your sour and aggravated persona, and Jungwon’s desperate efforts, then figured you were probably his ex.

“You know,” she clicks her tongue, “the thing about love and hate is that there’s a very thin line between them.”

She squints, fingers fiddling around with a penny as she tries to explain, “they’re two sides of the same coin.”

You made a face. She’s been going about this for hours and showed no sign of stopping. Whining, you turn her way, “what are you taking about this time?”

A grin. She raises both her brows in surrender, “You guys got a lot of unfinished business.”

You give her a look, unimpressed.

“The guy nearly snapped his head yesterday the moment he heard you laugh because he wanted to know what you were laughing about,” Seoyeon stares down at you steadily, provoked that you managed to toss the fact over too easily.

You throw her a crumpled piece of paper, and she easily dodges your throw. “Sure.” you snort, barely feigning any interest.

“Cut him some slack! He was your ex for goodness’ sake, some feelings for him still have to be there at some point. You can’t hate your ex that much without actually-maybe-probably loving them,” she singsongs teasingly. This was lighthearted, you knew, but.

You deadpanned. Feelings.

She has got to be serious.

Some feelings still have to be there.

Your heart didn’t feel anything.

Not anymore.

She stares at you in the silence, faking astonishment.

Her mouth forms a small ‘o’, “You’ve got to be serious.”

You only blink at her.

“Stop … don’t you feel anything for him anymore? Or is it like … nothing at all?” Of course, she was talking about him, you knew that - but why were you suddenly caught off guard? This was crazy.

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

No one has ever asked you this question.

How were you going to answer that?

You resented him.

You were angry. More than pissed.

You hated everything about him.

Your face scrunches up in disgust at the thought, but you answer her question after a pause, “One thing I know for sure,” you start casually, pausing in consideration, “is that I don’t want to see that annoying face of his again.”

You meant every word, this time.

You were willing to do whatever it took for that to happen.

At that moment, Seoyeon then concludes that the both of you had unfinished business. Jungwon was clearly not over you, anyone with a mile radius could see that. The boy was drop-dead crazy for you.

The more you try and repress feelings, the larger it grows.

How cliché does that sound?

She tilts her head to the side, glancing your way. But in a way, she knew it wasn’t one-sided, either.

[ now playing ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ all too well by taylor swift ]

↻ … ᶠˡᵃˢʰᵇᵃᶜᵏ

“Jungwon?” you whispered incredulously. Rubbing your eyes due to your half-asleep state, you leaned your frame against your door with your worry starting to alarm you awake. “What’re you doing here?”

Standing at your apartment door, your boyfriend appeared rugged, his eyes tired and drowsy. You noticed his clothes were still of what you saw him wear yesterday morning. your heart ached to see him in such a state, concluding he had spent the whole day producing, working, and overworking himself without rest. You hated whenever he did this to himself.

Seeing you frown, Jungwon pulls you to his embrace, wrapping you around his arms with a contented sigh, “Just wanted to see my baby,” he mumbles out incoherently, fighting through sleep, “I’ve missed you.”

You clung onto him, your face still at a cloudy state of haze – unreservedly astounded. Meanwhile on the other hand, Jungwon continues to laugh over your dumbfounded look. He pinches the sides of your cheeks, cooing over at you. As you try to wriggle yourself away, you found yourself embracing your figure back into his arms to squeeze his waist tightly in fear that he might disappear. He teases you at the action, lightheartedly calling you his little koala, but you don’t miss the endearing tone to his voice – or the way his breath hitches from your embrace.

“You’re here,” you managed to breathe out to yourself, burying your forehead against his neck. Squeezing your eyes shut, you desperately hoped to the gods above that the moment you opened them, everything wasn’t just going to turn out as another dream of yours. You could barely process much more comprehend what was going on, ‘he’s here, he’s here, he’s here’ were the only notions you could formulate by the slightest, chanting through your brainwork repeatedly for you to comprehend. Humorously, you didn’t wonder how he was possibly here, or why. He shouldn’t be - he was too busy.

You didn’t think about the fact that he’s supposed to be halfway across the world working on his production, and definitely not here. Inhaling his scent, your ongoing worries and stress had seemed to evaporate, your form relaxing almost immediately. He smelled like home.

The loud chatters and distinctive outside noise from people passing by that surrounded the both of you, along the fact that the both of you were in a public place – all had seemed to drown out and appear forgotten. You clung to his warm figure after months of being apart, out of all the days you’d secretly dreamed about him surprising you, you never figured today was going to be that day. You clasped onto him even tighter, your smile growing wider by the second, it’s been quite some time since you ever felt half this happy.

He let out a low vibrating laugh with your face pressed against his chest, engulfing you tightly around his hold whilst swaying the both of you side to side. It was little moments and acts of efforts like these that mattered most to you. You drowned yourself at the rhythm and sound of his heartbeat that spoke the words the both of you already knew; he had missed you.

“I promised, didn’t I?”

Maybe you were always too busy for Yang Jungwon when the both of you dated.

Maybe that was it.

Maybe that was the reason why.

Or maybe he simply always seeking attention from you, constantly and childishly. He complained about you studying too much as he started sulking alone was, he wandered around the place ‘miserably’, while you were trying to place your focus on your book, refusing to give into him again.

A little later and he tossed the fact that he had to pick up some errands, and you volunteered to help accompany him since he mentioned that he’d only be out for a while.

But after picking up the things he had acquired through his errands, the rain was against your luck and poured heavily. You cursed at yourself, having brought no umbrella with you. Looking at Jungwon, you could judge immediately by then that he didn’t bring one as well.

“Running for it sounds pretty good,” you suggested with a beam on your face, but you noticed how Jungwon huffed in disagreement, not approving of the idea; worrying that the rain might get you hurt or sick as he starts pulling out deliberate excuses and reasons.

“It’s too slippery out in the rain, you might fall,”

“Car accidents happen more often in the rain,”

“You’ll get sick, can you afford to be sick at a time like this?”

You ignored all his protests when you decided to just audaciously leave the store entrance before walking into the rain without any given warning.

He doesn’t say anything, and when you glanced back at him in question, you immediately noticed how visibly irritated he was with you misbehaving and ignoring him. Jungwon was always overly protective over you.

Though you appreciated it, his over-protectiveness wasn’t something you exactly needed at this time of your mid-terms. You just needed to study, and Jungwon could simply work on his music. The place you were at wasn’t too far from home, so it wasn’t exactly too absurd to make a run for it.

His eyes zeroed on you, giving no humor in his eyes, “Come back in here.”

You looked at him with fake-pleading eyes, “I left my notes back home,” you frowned.

“I don’t care. You are not getting sick.”

He wanted to sit the rain out, of course he did. But you didn’t know when the rain was going to stop, or if it ever showed any signs of stopping, in the first place. Just by your boyfriend’s tone itself, you knew you got yourself in trouble. That was not a good sign, he would always pull some crazy idea that would always try to teach you a lesson.

You didn’t move an inch from your spot.

Jungwon hurdled at you once he realizes that you were being stubborn, wrapping his arms around your waist securely regardless of the hefty downpour of rain, “Step another foot further and I’ll make sure you’ll never be touching your beloved notes again.”

“Ugh, Yang Jungwon, are you crazy?” you argued, trying to untangle yourself from him but his firm grip wouldn’t let you go.

“Jungwon, I’m serious! I really need to study, I have my exams—!”

“Aish, you’d be on your deathbed, and you wouldn’t even think of me at all, you would only care about studying!” he contested nonsensically as he dramatically complains.

You scowled at his comment, your face souring as you try wriggling yourself out of his grasp even harder, “Yah, you rascal!”

“Come back inside and I’ll let you go,” he conditions, a small grin showing that he had won. You glower at him, but having no choice but to subit and wait the next two hours by the porch of the store for the rain to subside. He covers you by towering in front of you, ensuring that you weren’t going to get hit by the rain.

Jungwon was a lot of maintenance - a lot of people would say, but he was adorable.

And most of all, he was yours.

… ᵉⁿᵈ ᶠˡᵃˢʰᵇᵃᶜᵏ ↺

PRESENT [ JUNGWON'S POV ]

Jungwon spends the rest of his night at school fixing up your science project, without an ounce of sleep.

He finds Sunoo dropping by the room, slightly jumping in surprise at the sight of him there. He covers his chest with his hand, “What the hell are you doing here?” he lightheartedly scolds him.

But he pauses squinting at him, “Were you . . .” his eyes widen, “Dude, did you spend the entire night here?” he asks Jungwon, bewildered. “Doing . . .” he tilts his head, taking a peek, and his mouth hangs open as he finally pieces things together, “-Y/N’s science lab project . . .?”

Sunoo’s eyes almost budge out of his sockets. “Isn’t this what Y/N’s been worrying crazy about –? How did you –?”

He couldn’t exactly admit that he’s overheard you complaining about your project and begging others to help you with it miserably. He knew you always took your grades seriously, but, how could he explain this to Sunoo of all people?

Jungwon looks conflicted, immediately standing away from your project. He was finished wish it, anyway. He just needed to get here undetected by you. Kim Sunoo was a problem, however. There was no way Sunoo wasn’t not telling you about this.

“Don’t tell her I did this,” Jungwon tells him, reading Sunoo’s next moves.

His eyes dart from the project to Jungwon. He frowns, confused. “Why not?”

Jungwon hesitates with his words, being careful. “Just because. Don’t.” What the hell can he say? The bell rings, and he panics.

“She has a hell of an ego, you know this. Tell her you fixed this or something. I don’t know. Make some shit up.”

He scurries out the lab but hangs behind at the entrance door for a few seconds.

Jungwon emphasizes what he’s told Sunoo. “I’m counting on you, bro.”

He slips away like a ghost.

Sunoo tells you that Ningning and Jake helped with your final lab project, and you believed it – eyes sparkling with relief and complete utter gratitude. You wondered how they got to finish the project in a day. They were the chemistry experts of the class, anyway – who were you to question them?

Sunoo sees Jungwon at the side of the room looking at you and your project. He watches him watch you. How happy you were with the project, and the endless showering of compliments. Was he really just . . . not going to tell you?

Sunoo takes a look at both you and Jungwon and scratches his head in utter confusion. What was going on with the both of you?

He has no idea what that boy is hiding.

A FEW DAYS LATER IN THAT WEEK

Jungwon really was getting in your nerves.

On your way to class, you did nothing but mind your own business when he swirls out of nowhere and pushes you aside, refraining you from entering the classroom. You furrow your eyebrows in annoyance, trying to wriggle away from his grasp, but his grip stays firm. He’s holding the sides of both your arms to let you stay in place, looking anxious and rushed. “Wait.”

“Yang Jungwon, what the hell?”

He tries to find words to say, but he can’t find any. “I . . . like the color of your hair. Did you dye it?”

Your stare is blank. “What?”

“I need recommendations. I might use it too, so –“

“This is my natural hair color.” you deadpan, without an ounce of friendliness, “now if you’ll excuse me –”

“No! Gah,” he lets out a frustrated noise, rushed, “. . . the speech report! I need help in –“

He was messing with you. He had to be.

“I don’t know what you’re trying to do,” you try to breathe in calmly, but you were talking through your gritted teeth. “You submitted your speech report last week,” you hissed, your patience running thin.

You finally wriggle yourself free from his grasp, and that was when the panic was evident in Jungwon’s features.

You barely get to move an inch before, “Do you still have hang-ups on me?” He rushes out of nowhere, an attempt of desperation.

What?

To say that you were at a loss for words was an understatement.

You freeze. Staring at him, dumbfounded.

Were you simply a joke to him?

What was he saying? He was desperate, willing to just have your attention anywhere else. You could not enter the room. That was his plan.

You were trying to regain composure. Clamping your jaw down hard, your eyes narrowed. “Please, kindly fuck off.”

You stalk away, pissed off.

As soon as he ensured that you were walking the opposite direction, and Jungwon heaves a small sigh of relief. At least.

He budges the door classroom open – the room he had noticed that a couple of asshats were trying to pull on harsh pranks on – and immediately, an old tray of leftover food spills from above, falling flat on the floor instead as Jungwon dodges it from anticipating this beforehand.

And you piece thing and thing together.

This was what he was driving you away from?

Because that could’ve been you.

His eyes settle on the group of bullies seated at the end of the room. He cracks his knuckles. Jungwon’s eyes have never been so deadly.

Jungwon comes in class later with a purple bruise coloring his upper left cheek, and a busted lip.

You don’t ask him the story, but instead, you assume the worst in him. Like you always do.

He’s up to no good.

He always was.

[08:12pm] yang jungwon: are you going?

[08:21pm] you: ?

[08:21pm] yang jungwon: oh hi love

[08:22pm] yang jungwon: are you coming to gyeonju tower tomorrow? i wanted to tell you in person today but you seemed like u were in a rush to leave

[08:24pm] you: ? what do you want

[08:25pm] yang jungwon: i wanted to explain things

[08:25pm] yang jungwon: and explain myself

read

[08:53pm] yang jungwon: i want to make things right

[08:54pm] yang jungwon: please let me, bo

[08:54pm] you: im busy.

[08:57pm] yang jungwon: i’ll be waiting for you tomorrow at 1pm

[09:00pm] you: i said im not going.

[09:02pm] yang jungwon: just one chance, please

[09:04pm] yang jungwon: one last one

read

You didn’t care, you weren’t going.

THE FOLLOWING DAY

You’ve decided that you wouldn’t go.

You won’t go.

You won’t go, end of discussion.

You spent the last night considering it until two in the morning. You’ve finalized your decision. “This is a no-brainer. Who does he think he is? I’m not giving him the satisfaction,” you rant morely to yourself - it was almost as if you werer trying to convince yourself instead.

You tug at the ends of your hair in frustration, hissing. Both Ningning and Seoyeon watches you in silent amusement after being told of the situation. The two were the only ones who knew about you and Jungwon, and the only two who you’ve been ranting to for the past two hours.

“I’m not going,” you repeat aggravatedly, exclaiming as you fling your arms. You pace around the room.

Ningning languidly lazes around the chair as you frantically pace around the room, “So you’ve told us for the past forty six times,” she can’t help but comment, fighting away her grin. You scowl at her, grabbing the strap of your bag to sling it around your shoulder.

“You guys are annoying. I’m leaving.”

Both Seoyeon and Ningning stare after you, waving you goodbye at your stressed state.

Ningning props herself up with her elbows, leaning her cheek with the palm of her hands as soon as you’ve left the room. She stares at Seoyeon, who was mindlessly scrolling through her phone, “She’s definitely going, isn’t she?”

Seoyeon tosses the bag of chips that she’s been hogging Ningning’s way - which she accepts immediately, munching down on the ones on her palm with disinterest, “Yep.”

LATER, 1 PM

You tug awkwardly at your sleeve, eyes searching for a certain figure in mind as they bunglingly dart around the place.

So, maybe you really did end up going to the tower. Just to check things out. That was it. And maybe see if he was there. If he really showed up. Hear what he wanted to say if it was important. Nothing more. You felt bad just leaving him alone - you weren’t like him, intentionally leaving someone on for hours to wait for you.

You had a conscience. You simply showed up because you didn’t want to be burdened by it.

You don’t know how long you waited on the first half of the period under the heat of the sun from the tower, but by the time you take out your phone to check the time, it was half past one in the afternoon.

Tick-tok.

You stare at your phone’s lock screen, expecting a text from Jungwon to pop up any second to inform you that he was probably running late. Anything.

An hour passes by.

You figure you’d give him another thirty minutes. Just another thirty minutes. If he wasn’t going to show up, you didn’t care anymore. You would leave.

It was past 30 minutes.

Another hour passes by.

Until rain starts to lightly drizzle.

Until clouds start to darken.

Until your legs start to ache.

And until you were soaking and clothes drenched with water in the pouring heavy rain.

Again.

Until it dawns on you.

Jungwon isn’t here.

He wasn’t coming.

He was never going to.

And there you were, standing alone stupidly – a fool. A fool who never learned her lesson after two years.

He was enjoying this; toying with you, he’s got to be.

You don’t know why you really expected anything else from him.

A heavy exhale.

You don’t know why you hoped you did.

You get a call from Jungwon by the evening. You were dumbly weak enough to easily get manipulated to answer the phone.

He sounded frantic, “Hello? Y/N? I’m so sorry, I wasn’t able to attend our meet-up. I’m - I’m really sorry, I was really planning to go -” You wish you could believe him.

“Yeah. It’s okay, don’t worry about it,” you sound too monotone for your words to sound like you meant them.

“I’m so sorry that you waited on me, I promise I’ll make it up to -” No more promises. No more, Jungwon. I can’t take anymore.

You harshly cut him off, oppressive. “What do you mean? I didn’t come. I told you I won’t, didn’t I?”

You still had your dignity. Lies were all that you had left. You’d lie just for Jungwon to not get that sense of satisfaction from you. You wouldn’t let him.

He is silent, “Yeah, I know.”

You inhale, vexed. Your eyes flicker around the room, feeling flighty with apprehension. “What’s up, anyway? What held you from coming?” you made an effort to sound as casual as possible bringing it up, as if you didn’t care. As if you didn’t spend the whole afternoon drenched in pouring rain waiting for him.

A long silent pause again. You could tell he was hesitating to answer.

He tries to let out a lighthearted laugh as he waves it off, "It’s nothing.”

It was nothing, again. It’s always nothing. Were you ever something - anything - to him?

It takes a moment for you to register his response. How effortlessly care-free he was about it. Your tone appears tight, “Okay. Well, it’s good that you weren’t able to go. I wasn’t there anyway.” You didn’t know what else to say other than stressing that you never came. That you didn’t care.

Lie.

“Oh,” is what Jungwon replies with, he sounded distracted - like his mind wasn’t in the conversation. He wasn’t interested in talking to you anyway, why did he bother calling?

You grit at your teeth, “I’m not a fool, Jungwon.”

You don’t know if he’s even listening to you, you start to question. It takes long for him to respond, “I know.”

He was being as short with his responses as ever. Was this what he called explaining himself? You doubt if he ever cared about making it up to you in the first place. You try to hide your disappointment in your tone with impatience, “Is that all? I’m gonna go now. I’m busy.”

You don’t wait for his reply.

You immediately end the call and toss your phone as far as you could.

You hope that was worth it for Jungwon.

[ JUNGWON’S POV ] . . . what really happened

Jungwon woke up three hours earlier that day.

When Jungwon was getting himself dressed, a boy from across the city was still sleeping through his alarm that he wasn’t able to set the night before. Meanwhile, a girl was waiting somewhere in the city’s lobby, waiting for her boyfriend to pick her up.

While that happened, Jungwon was on his way to a jewelry shop to buy you a gift. He was beyond excited to see you. The boy from across the city was still sleeping, but the girl’s boyfriend eventually came to pick her up. On the other side, Jungwon had forgotten his credit card, and had no other option to pay by cash.

By this time, the sleeping boy’s mother barges into the boy’s room to wake him up as he was late for class – and asking him if he spent another late night playing with his friends. The girl in her boyfriend’s car receives a text from her ex while her boyfriend stops by to pick up the cake they ordered for their anniversary.

Jungwon was nearly at the Gyeonju tower when the boy who was running late for class stumbled out of the house, got on his bike, and peddled as fast as he could. The girl was already texting her ex-boyfriend by this time, and before she could tuck her phone away as soon as her boyfriend got into the car, the boyfriend had caught her already.

All the while the couple slowly started to argue about her talking to her ex, Jungwon was stuck in traffic and anxiously waiting – frustrated. Though he had more than an hour to spare, he wanted to see you as quickly as possible. This was the moment of his life that meant most to him. The boy who was running late took a wrong turn because he was not on the right state of mind, still half-asleep.

The couple argued all the way to the girlfriend’s parents’ house while the boy in the bike running late was trying to find his way out of the unfamiliar place, completely flustered. Jungwon had already arrived at Gyeonju tower, parking his car before trying to fix up his hair. He never really cared about how he looked like, but Jungwon’s nerves were jittering. This was the first time he was so anxious to see you.

And finally, at the same time, the boy was too distracted to see the couple’s car in front of him – as well as the couple, as they were still too busy arguing. Jungwon had just gotten out of the car, crossing the road.

It all happened too quickly.

If the son had set his alarm the day before and wasn’t running late for his class, if the girl hadn’t picked up the call from her ex-boyfriend, if couple hadn’t been arguing while the boyfriend was driving, or if Jungwon didn’t take his time in the car mirror trying to make sure he looked good for you - then maybe he would’ve gotten to meet you that night.

Maybe he wouldn’t have gotten into that car accident.

Maybe none of this would’ve be happening right now.

Life is a series of multiple interactions, they said.

The next situation Jungwon finds himself in was lying still – unable to move – in the hospital emergency room with blood – his blood? – covered all over his clothes, and when he gains the smallest bit of energy to barely open his eyes, he feels like he’s lost everything all over again.

In spite of all the events, he remembers you.

Your smile.

And his promise.

But he blacks out.

The moment Jungwon awakes into consciousness, his first thought isn’t what he was doing in an emergency room hospital, all alone. It isn’t wondering why he had blood all over his clothes, or why his body physically hurt too much for him to move.

His first thought was you.

His first thought was always going to be you. Where were you? What-? He sees the small bag settled beside him, squinting at it - before realizing it was for you. For the meeting. Today. Shit. In less than half a second, he ignores the pins and needles of his skin feeling like it was being stretched out just to reach his phone and dial your number.

“Hello? Y/N? I’m so sorry, I wasn’t able to attend our meet-up. I’m - I’m really sorry, I was really planning to go -”

Your tone interrupts him midway, seemingly clipped and tight. “Yeah. It’s okay, don’t worry about it,” were you mad? Guessing by the tone of your voice, you seemed upset. Lord, he begged for that one chance you gave him and he had to go through this out of all the occasions?

You pinches the bridge of his nose after running a hand through his hair, cursing inwardly. How many more chances could you give him? You would never believe him ever again. “I’m so sorry that you waited on me, I promise I’ll make it up to -”

Your response hits him right in the gut, harder and more painful than any of the stitches and bandages he had being freshly reopened. “What do you mean? I didn’t come. I told you I won’t, didn’t I?”

His throat constricts, eyes lowering as the grip on the phone tightens, “Yeah, I know.” He hangs his head low.

You shrug it off with disinterest, your tone indifferent. “What’s up, anyway? What held you from coming?”

He hesitates, glancing down at the patches of bandages and stitches. He doesn’t try to explain. He doesn’t want you to know. What could he say to cover things up? He tries to avoid sounding suspicious with a lighthearted laugh, “It’s nothing.”

God, it sounded fake.

Your indifference rings through his mind over and over again. Did you really not care about him anymore? Did you really mean it when you said you weren’t going to go? A sharp stab in the heart each time the thought rings through him.

A pause.

“Okay. Well, it’s good that you weren’t able to go. I wasn’t there anyway.”

“Oh,” was all Jungwon could respond with, he was beginning to feel dizzy - overwhelmed and exhausted. A sharp buzz rang deaf through his ears.

The room started to spin as you continued through the call – unaware, “I’m not a fool, Jungwon,” you remind him. Was it really the end?

Has he finally lost you?

He doesn’t know what to say, but he couldn’t deny the fact that it hurt. Everything hurts. Fuck. A long pause, “I know.”

“Is that all? I’m gonna go now. I'm busy,” you harshly end things, not bothering to expant the conversation or on the details. You don’t push him. You don’t care.

The line went dead.

A piece of him along with it died too.

Jungwon sits at one of the emergency room’s beds alone and he realizes that the hospital could heal all his physical wounds and scars, but he doesn’t think the internal pain he’s feeling could be treated.

A nurse that was passing by finds him passed out, unconscious, and unresponsive only long minutes later.

A WEEK LATER

Initially, you had planned to keep away from Jungwon at all costs the moment classes started again. He could suffer all he needed.

But.

You don’t see Jungwon.

Not that you cared if he was around - it was a relief to you that you didn’t have to deal with him, but didn’t you .. deserve an explanation?

No.

That’s right. An explanation from Jungwon for ditching you was something you would never get. That hasn’t changed, and you were a fool for believing otherwise.

You repeatedly sneak glances by his desk - anywhere, for a sign of him. It was useless to ask anyone else. His friends? When had Jungwon ever tried talking to somebody that wasn’t you?

Not that you ever took notice, either.

It’s been a week.

Seconds tick by slowly, and lectures drag in what seems like hours. It comes to the point where you almost decide on texting his number and demanding where he was. It took every part of yourself to manage to not do so.

Your notifications remained empty this time.

No messages. No calls.

He’s gone again.

THREE WEEKS LATER [JUNGWON’S POV ]

With a fractured arm and multiple wounds and stitches, Jungwon had to opt to wait three weeks before he was able to attend classes again.

He only looks forward to seeing your face.

To explain everything to you.

He messed up again.

Maybe you were looking for him? It’s been three weeks, maybe you had wondered for a fraction where he went all of a sudden? Maybe you were worried? Maybe you were concerned? Or maybe you didn’t care? Maybe you were celebrating right now?

He flinches that the thought.

He spots you by the hallways after his hour long search around the campus. You barely looked bothered at all. That was fine, Jungwon reminded himself. He walks his way towards you with the gift he had bought you weeks prior, when the accident had happened. The gift he had protected with his life to save, and had held on for weeks to give to you. If he wasn’t going to explain things, he at least wanted to give you the gift he had picked for you.

He thinks you’d look pretty in it.

However, as soon as he tries to open his mouth to speak to you once he was close enough for you to hear him, you coldly ignore him entirely. You pack up your things once you hear the bell, ringing just in time for classes to start. You barely even spare him a single glance.

You walk past him like was invincible.

Like you couldn’t care any less of what happened to him.

It turns out, you were never worried at all.

That fucking him hurt more than being hit by a car a hundred times ever did.

[01:24 pm] yang jungwon: im sorry

[01:29 pm] yang jungwon: can we talk?

[read]

You blocked yang jungwon’s number that day.

[JUNGWON . . . ]

Seoyeon made you laugh.

It was unintentional, he guessed. But she made you laugh. In a way. Other’s might’ve called it a snort. It was a goofy side-comment he made when you expanded the instructions on the chapter needed to be finished. He felt himself destructing and freezing while his heart soared and ripped itself apart. He swore he was flying while being drowned six feet under at the same time.

As someone who spent his entire life on music, Yang Jungwon has heard many sounds. Various melodies and tunes, but none of them were like yours. He’s been walking around tone-deaf for the past few years because it was like he forgot the way your laugh sounded and the way it made him feel like he could do anything.

It was like you immediately regretted it - laughing with him in the room, and maybe his emotions were written all over his face because Jungwon was losing you all over again when you disclose your emotions off once again from him. Then he’s all but greeted with a cold face - an effect of the mess he caused.

He remembers the time where you were his to call, and now, you couldn’t even stand to look at him - or be in the same room as him. He remembers the time where you would look at him and the way your eyes would light up, and now, he looks at your eyes for a fraction of a second and they’re dead. Once vibrant and easy to read - now empty and desolate. Nobody is home. They’re emotionless for him.

Your eyes only tell lies now.

You’ll never be like the way you used to be again.

To think that he ruined it. That he ruined a smile that ran so deep and had so much meaning. A smile that was always for him. A soul that had so much love and kindness for him. He shattered that. That was because of him.

He remembers the time where receiving ‘I love you’s from you were everyday like routines to you, and he compares it with the flash irritation that would cross your face and the petty tone of anger he would get from you every time he tried talking to you.

You’ve changed.

He doesn’t know what those two years have done to you.

What he’s done to you.

Maybe he really messed it up. Maybe he should run and leave and never see you again so he would stop hurting you and fucking you up over and over again. Maybe he should let you move on and let you be happy with someone else. Maybe he should just stop hoping because the gods above know that they don’t trust him with you alone.

It was killing him.

Jungwon couldn’t do any of that.

Getting to see you every day - it was already much of a blessing compared to the two years in the shithole he went through without you, waking up to feel nothing but empty - if it’s not endlessly torturing and tormenting himself for putting you through what he had to.

But couldn’t Jungwon be a little selfish? Just this once? Couldn’t he ask for a little bit more?

If Jungwon could admit, he never wanted much, nor has he asked for much either. To say the truth, he doesn’t care about ninety percent of his life: fuck his gods be damned ‘career’, fuck air and water and happiness and money.

Yang Jungwon was someone that had no interest in the world. He never really got to care about anything. But you. He met you. You were his first. You were all he cared about. You were all that really mattered.

And that was his world.

You were his world.

It’s been two years since he lost you - since he let you go for good, and that was worse than dying. Each moment was as if it was meant to come back at him and break his soul - or whatever’s left of it. All Yang Jungwon gives a damn about is you.

He was damn well still in love with you, and he was never getting you back.

He’s lost you.

And the separating distance between the both of you proves it better than anything.

[ now playing ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ hold me while you wait by lewis capaldi ]

↻ … ᶠˡᵃˢʰᵇᵃᶜᵏ

THE TWISTING POINT

Jungwon wasn’t in a good mood today.

It was most likely because of work, so you didn’t want to question or pressure him into dwelling into it any further. You stayed smiling, knowing that whenever you were down, Jungwon knew exactly what to do. He needed sunshine.

You hear glass shatter, and loud clanging accompanied with it. You sprang upwards, racing to Jungwon’s aid to check yourself if he was hurt.

As you stared at the mess created, and the person who seemingly intentionally created the mess, you only stood by the doorway.

You knew him, he wasn’t the type to let his anger consume and get the best of him, nor was he the type to physically express his anger. Especially around you. Jungwon loved the idea of you seeing him as a laid-back unique oddball, and you’ve rarely ever seen him irritated or angry. You’ve never seen him like this, however.

You remained silent; your gaze downcast. Whatever happened in the studio today must have been seriously rough enough to affect him into a state like this.

The room is too silent. “Won?” He loves being called that name; he’s told you. It gets him erupting with happiness in no time, but why isn’t it working now?

Why does Jungwon’s eyes look so empty?

“Can you leave?” he asks you when you try to help clean up the broken shards of glass, finally uttering a word after the first time you’ve seen him today.

“I don’t need you here right now.”

Jungwon sees the way you freeze. The way confusion flashes over your face. The way your hopeful and gentle eyes crack by a fraction.

Jungwon sees it all.

You purse your lip in hesitation, worried, but you follow his request with a nod nonetheless as you quietly slip out of the room. I’m always here for you if you need me.

Jungwon feels nothing but emptiness.

“Jungwon, you’ve missed two meals.”

He’s stuck in his music room. Again. Your lips pull into a forming frown at his state, placing the plate of food that you’ve organized for him at a table nearest to you.

He only gives you a glance before his attention is back at his music, “I’m kind of busy here,” he blandly reminds you the obvious, and you feel yourself mentally deflate, a bit.

A pause. You sucked in a breath. “I know, but you shouldn’t skip meals, okay? Take some rests,” you keep your voice gentle, hopeful.

He barely gives a grunt in reply.

Why didn’t you see that he didn’t want you anymore then?

You swallow, trying in another attempt, “Um, do you need any help in -” Jungwon swivels his chair abruptly, turning completely at you. It’s the first time you see him look at you in a while, “No,” the look in his eyes is something you’d never forget, “I’m fine, Y/N.” And when he turns his back on you, you feel a jab in the gut.

Ah.

You get the message.

You weren’t wanted around.

“Okay, I’ll uhh … I’ll …” you don’t finish your sentence, merely signaling that you were going to leave, but well aware that Jungwon was already back facing his screen. You don’t think he notices. You don’t think he ever notices anything at all.

No response. Not even a glance your way.

You felt so lonely.

Jungwon was going out again, as he’s all done for the past week.

Maybe you were overthinking all of this, but you felt as if he was doing whatever it took to avoid you. To avoid looking at you. To avoid talking to you. To avoid spending time with you. Of course, it was all in your head.

He would never hurt you like that, Jungwon was just busy. He was just going through things. He had it rough, you should be considerate.

It was just you alone most of the time, and you started to wonder if he was doing fine. If he needed you, at all.

“Jungwon?”

He turns to you, his body almost out of the door. “Are you okay?” you gently ask him.

He blinks. “I’m fine,” he replies after a pause.

You wanted to help him, whatever he was going through. You wanted to go through it with him together — you wanted to be there for him. “You don’t seem fine,” you try to start, “Jungwon, I’m here for you, you can talk to me if you—”

An exasperated sound of displeasure cuts you off, like a tether piecing everything together that snaps. “Can’t you do anything else other than bother me?” he waves you off, slamming the door in visible distress. He leaves you like that, and he doesn’t have to say anything else to make the wound hurt all the more.

The words left unsaid were enough.

He doesn’t come back the next day.

You wished he’d have told you how he loved you before he left, even if he didn’t mean it.

The air was cold. You know that it was not because of the weather.

Your mind wanders.

Sometimes you consider the fact that there could be someone else.

You wonder where everything started to change, and somedays, the thoughts get heavy and immensely difficult for you to carry. Sometimes they hurt too much to think about. You can’t help but wonder where your love lacked for him, in where you gave him everything. Even if it costed more than you could afford, it was worth it. But was it not for him? Was it not anymore?

It’s hard to fight what was fated.

But you would’ve still ruined yourself to fix him.

Even if there was another person, you think, you just wished he told you - so you would stop foolishly hoping and trying to convince yourself that this was all a sick phase of his that would eventually pass. So, you would stop foolishly assuming that there was ‘together’ and ‘forever’ for the both of you. You wouldn’t insist on it anymore, if that’s what made him happy. Watching him torture himself like that and choosing not to say anything to you was more painful than anything else.

You knew you were not the one in his heart.

This was all going to pass, right?

Jungwon, talk to me.

Jungwon can make it better.

He always has. You could never remember a time where he didn’t come to swoop in and save your day.

Was this the timing in where you realize that things were permanently going to change?

A simple month changes you a lot.

You believed, but you were slowly losing the light.

You gave so many signs.

So many warning signs.

He walked past every single one of them.

You couldn’t be the only one fighting for something that was already gone. Something that was thrown away and given up on. Because you have been, for as long as you can, and you don’t know if you can still continue to allow yourself to put yourself through it - because you don’t know if you can take it. Even if it was just one last time.

But still, you were willing to offer him anything he wanted the moment he needed it. You were ready to run to his side even if it killed you. Waste my time, waste it all.

The painful fake smiles, and pretending if everything was perfectly fine, as if you were okay, and the desperate pair of eyes that he always seemed to ignore.

You don’t know when it would stop.

You could only wish he would stay a bit longer to savor before he was going to make it hurt for you.

You felt the fatigue, then.

It’ll get better soon.

THE BREAKING POINT

It was all about him.

You don’t know if you could take this any longer.

“Jungwon?” you called out to him - through the empty house, “I’m tired.” Faintly.

You were washing the dishes after immediately arriving home from your part-time job. No time for giving yourself a rest, or for catching up on the upcoming exam the next day. It was eleven o’clock at night. You heard the door slam, and you knew Jungwon was home.

He could mope around and throw things around. He was entitled to treat you harshly because he was going through a rough time. He could do absolutely nothing. That was how everything worked.

But you couldn’t. You couldn’t cry. You couldn’t pause and rest. You weren’t entitled to feel angry or irritated because you weren’t going through whatever he was going through. You had to take care of him, and you had to endure getting treated that way our you could leave and walk through the door.

The shuffling of footsteps stops. You don’t move. You leave the faucet water running, eyes staring distantly - somewhere. But you don’t look over at him. You know that the courage that you’ve spent months trying to build up would come crashing down the moment you do.

There is no noise, only the running of the water. You know he’s listening.

“I can’t do it anymore,” you bat an eye, and your shoulders ease up a little. There is a certain stillness in the air.

“I feel like I’m just wasting my life in this relationship,” you’ve thought about this. You’ve tried to shrug the feeling off, but you wanted to know if you wanted to fight for him too. “I’m always looking stupid. I’m always left behind,” Isn’t it exhausting for you too, Jungwon?

Nothing. Silence. No response.

He wasn’t pushing you.

He wasn’t begging you to stay, like he always did.

He wasn’t going to even just try to change your mind.

He’s letting you go.

That infuriates you further, and you hate that he’s making you feel like you’re being too unreasonable without having to say anything. You hate the words he’s saying to you without even him having to open his mouth. Silence is all you’ve been receiving, hasn’t it? It’s always turning his back. It’s always the cold shoulder, whatever he had to say - he wouldn’t say it. It’s always been that way. Itwas always you that had to adjust.

You hated this.

You hated this so much.

It was him leaving you alone to your degrading thoughts that would break you more than he ever can, “It’s all about you. It’s all just about your sufferings, isn’t it? It’s all just yours!”

Why wasn’t he stopping you?

Why wasn’t he trying to fix this?

You wanted him to explain himself and assure you that everything was going to be okay. You wanted to work this out. Good God, you did. More than anything. But what happened to the day when you missed the most important exams for him just because he was too in his head to take care of himself? Where was he? What was he doing? Where was he when you were called to the school’s office because you were nearly falling off school? Where was he when you cried countlessly from overwhelming stress because of that?

Where was he when you were pacing back and forth at four in the morning without a wink of sleep, waiting for him to come back home and wondering to the heavens what the hell had happened to him? Where was he when you felt so isolated and alone? Where was he when your parents turned your back on you for you giving up everything for a boy who already seemed to have given up on you? Where was he to fight for you? Where was he to look you in the eye and give you a reason to keep fighting - to stay?

Jungwon was going through shit. That was something you understood. Something you wished he never went through, something you know he doesn’t deserve. And you were there for him. Every step of the way. But that didn’t mean that you had it all easy, either - did it? Didn’t he know? Or did he just not care?

You wanted to work this out. But … did he?

Soft, too soft. You could barely hear. “So desperate,” it was murmured. A pause, a shift in movement, and he was gone.

He was gone. He walked away. Like it meant nothing to him.

It stays, lingering. But he leaves.

You can’t believe him.

So monotone.

So emotionless.

Like it doesn’t mean anything.

He breaks you.

You crack open.

He doesn’t say anything else. He doesn’t fight for you. He doesn’t feel anything for you. He doesn’t find a reason to stay.

He finds a reason to leave.

That was it. And you weren’t even sure if he said it. Maybe it was a flicker of your imagination. Maybe you were going insane, was what it was. Did he leave?

He couldn’t have.

It was the end.

End.

The end of the both of you.

After that end, there was … nothing.

It was the end?

Your weight leans against the counter table in support, breathing heavily. Your heartbeat racing, your mind processing. A minute passes by, and you still stand frozen.

No. The stillness was too much to handle, you needed Jungwon, even if the only words he was ever going to say to you would hurt. You stumbled, rushing after the door as you tried calling after him. You didn’t want him to go. You couldn’t let him, you won’t give up on him. You needed him there. You were tired, and you needed Jungwon.

“Jungwon.” Where was he off to the moment you finally told him how you were feeling? Was it a mistake? Should you have stayed quiet instead?

“I didn’t mean what I said, come back and we’ll talk this out,” you called after him. You would take it all back.

He was gone.

You turned, and you turned, and you hoped. Nothing. Pitch black. Darkness.

“Jungwon?” you were crying now, crumbling a little. “Jungwon, I’m sorry, please come back, please.” you begged. And you kept calling him, until even the gods above could hear you. But where was he? No, he was going to come back for you. He was.

He was going to explain that he was sorry and that he never meant to hurt you. He was going to pop up right next to you like he always used it. He was going to smile at you with a cheeky grin and make fun of how you fell for his sick joke. He was going to give you a reason to stay and you were going to be okay.

“I didn’t mean it, I’m sorry,” you shouted after him, numbly trying to follow his footsteps that weren’t there. Footsteps that were erased. The footsteps of someone who promised he’d never leave your side. It was pathetic. Your desperation was pathetic.

Where did he go? Which way did he go? Please show up. Please. Please.

You shivered at the cold. Why was it raining so hard? You could barely see a thing. It was too dark. Not a single light in sight. You didn’t even realize it was raining. But it didn’t matter. You wouldn’t go home until Jungwon was back. And safe. Everything will be okay.

Moments pass and you don’t know if it took hours. Jungwon wasn’t there and you were losing him the way you were losing yourself. “Please,” your voice came out a whisper as your legs gave up on you, falling into your knees, “come back to me,” your body shakes, and that was the end.

All you were left with was the memories.

The both of you were nothing but memories now.

Ended because of happenstance.

He was still gone the next day.

And the next.

And the next after the next.

And the week after.

And the month after.

And after that.

You waited.

He promised.

You believed.

Ah.

You felt it, then.

The light you held onto exhaled and took its last breath.

Expired.

When things are expired - when things pass its due date, no matter how much big of a waste it is, or how much you were looking forward for it; you can only throw it away.

Because your relationship wasn’t the only thing gone and lost to disappear that day. It wasn’t only him - or it wasn’t the one thing you cared most about. It was you. You came along with it. You; a simple crumpled worn-out paper thrown away. A rough draft. Scrapped and forgotten.

He wasn’t coming back.

… ᵉⁿᵈ ᶠˡᵃˢʰᵇᵃᶜᵏ ↺

[ now playing ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ skin by sabrina carpenter ]

PRESENT TIME, THE FOLLOWING DAY

The group was chatting with each other as usual. You were with Ningning and Seoyeon, catching up with the latest most random topics while you were making it a point to ignore Jungwon’s longing stare. Until Jake Sim takes a glance his way and points out of nowhere, “What happened to your arm?”

He immediately replies, “Nothing.”

When you sneak a glance over at Jungwon’s arm, he catches you and straight away tucks his arm away from your side’s view as casually as possible. Why did he have bandages? Your brows furrowed at him, skeptically surveying him.

What was he hiding this time?

It was in the middle of individual study period when Ningning queries out of nowhere, “Y/N, Is Jungwon trying to win you back?”

A few glances your way at the sudden uplifting noise through the quiet room.

You almost choke. You wish you did. “What?” Loudly whispering, you snap your head over her direction, eyes blazing down at her incredulously.

“He isn’t?” Seoyeon pipes in, questioning incredulously, all the more surprised than you. The both of them were never going to let her newfound discovery of exes that were quote “fated back together” end quote. You stare blankly at the both of them, unamused.

She shrugs innocently. “He looks like it,” she answers her own query and peeks over his way. Explaining, she heaves a casual exhale, “He keeps looking over at you every five seconds with those starry hopeful eyes as if you’d change your mind.”

Your face hardens at the mention of it. You hadn’t told what happened between you and Jungwon to anyone. Once both Seoyeon and Ningning had asked for the details of what happened, you simply brushed it off, not wanting to talk about it. They had assumed something went wrong.

Whatever Seoyeon had in mind to be out of a romantic film - this wasn’t the case. You had no idea what he was up to, but it was most probably something that would put up some entertainment to aid his boredom before he fleets away again.

She playfully nudged you with the edge of her elbow, “So, what made you dump him?”

She laughed. Loud. She was talking quite too casually that you speculated Jungwon could hear the conversation. His head was bowed, supposedly reading. You couldn’t read his facial features. You don’t want to.

“Poor dude, he looks like he’s had it rough.” Of course, everyone would assume it was Jungwon who was dumped. That it was him who was hurting. That it was him who got the mistreatment. You were the bad guy. In the end it’s your fault.

A chill runs down your spine. You dumped him? You almost laugh aloud in sarcasm, but it comes out as a snort. Waving her off teasingly, you motion the both of them to shoo away, “Shove off.”

Seoyeon gives a toothy beam before scribbling something down her notebook, Ningning peeks over to read it and giggles. You barely catch a glimpse of it.

‘Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath.’

LATER, AT THE LIBRARY

Another day. That meant another meeting with both Jungwon and Seoyeon in the library. After long hours, the group meeting was finished. All there was left to do was to submit the chapter’s draft for corrections to the professor; it had been decided already that Seoyeon and Jungwon were to do it.

You were leisurely taking your time packing up your stuff when Seoyeon hurriedly scurries out on her way to exit the library. “Hey, Jungwon, I’m really busy today, so I can’t accompany you to pass the papers. I just realized I have soccer practice,” she forms her lips into a pout, faking a thought. It occurs to you then that Seoyeon doesn’t have varsity.

Your eyes narrow at where this was going. “What about ask Y/N to do it? She has nothing to do anyway!” she winks, lightheartedly hitting Jungwon’s arm. He was taken aback, looking confused and somewhat lost himself, but having no choice left other than nodding, he agrees. “Uh . . . sure.”

Seoyeon turns your way and wiggles her eyebrows suggestively at you as soon as Jungwon had himself distracted with the papers in the meantime, giving you a thumbs up as if to say ‘you can do this!’ before slipping out of the room - faster before you could protest.

You scowled darkly, clenching down your jaw. If looks could kill. That girl.

On the other hand, Jungwon continues to arrange the pile of papers with a shuffle before quietly handing them to you, he then started on packing up his things. It was suffocating. Would leaving the room make it seem like you lost this nonexistent battle between the both of you?

He cuts you out of your trance of thoughts, “You were there that day at the tower, weren’t you?” he asks you out of the blue. He doesn’t even look your way as he stuffs a few books in his bag, and he doesn’t have to give context for you to know what he was referring to. not a look of uncertainty was evident in his eyes, “I know you were.”

Anger starts to boil inside. You have to remind yourself that this is what he wanted. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you casually dismissed.

He inwardly huffs out a breath. “Was it tough for you?” he changes the topic, and you swear it was only a matter of time before he gives you the biggest whiplash.

You were raging with endless anger and fury, yet you keep your face was void of any emotions – standing in front of him as his form blocked your path, stressing you even further. You gripped the strap of your backpack tightly, “Move out of my way, Jungwon.”

“Answer me, first.” he pleads with you. “Was it tough for you, then?”

He doesn’t budge and stubbornly remains rooted to his spot.

You grit your teeth, ripping apart your poorly concealed anger bit by bit. Jungwon didn’t care. He wanted you to feel emotion. Any emotion. Even if it was blinding rage. To scream at him and punch the living lights out of him. It was better than receiving your blank emotionless stare all the time. He couldn’t take it.

He was definitely testing your patience carelessly. Was it tough for you? You laughed humorlessly. A stab to his gut. A knife filled with poison. “I don’t know what you want, but let’s be mature people here. You do whatever hell you’ve been doing the last two years, and I’ll continue do the same. Okay?” you spoke, your tone hostile. You take the folder placed beside him before leaving him there, disinterested.

It wasn’t as simple for you as it has been for him to simply walk the relationship off down the drain.

Not when he promised the world.

Not when you believed him.

Not when he was standing there right in front of you acting as if he didn’t know anything about the shit you had to go through without him. As if he was just innocent. As if he had nothing to do with it. As if he cared. And especially not when he was the one who put you there and left in the first place.

This is what had become of the both of you. Jungwon and you. Worse than strangers, haunted by what’s left of something that was long gone.

All he had to do then was apologize. Actually, he just had to come back, and you would do the apologizing for him. You were always the one who gave in, in the end, anyway.

You would’ve accepted him.

You would’ve even begged for him.

The things you would have done.

None of this would’ve happened.

But.

None of that would work now.

None of that mattered.

It was all too late.

The both of you were just so different now.

LATER

Riki was confusing, truly.

“Didn’t you make fun of me two years ago about how much of a dumbass I was?” you rolled your eyes incredulously at Riki picking at you to how rude you were being to Jungwon, “You hated him, what’s with the change of attitude?” you snort.

Riki shifts his weight, fixing the strap of his bag, “You were a dumbass,” he agrees, pulling a face at you, “and I still hate that guy,” he continues, his expression turning sour at the thought of him, but pauses.

“But you were happy,” he looks over at you deliberately.

A happy dumbass. You could cringe, that was the old you. The desperate old you. Long gone.

You were most definitely not having it, your facial expression hard. “Did you have a head trauma or something? A fever? Are you forgetting the past two years?” you press the back of your hand to his forehead, checking his temperature and warmth for dramatic effect.

He pushes your hand away, “I’m just saying,” he starts, talking to you as if you were a child, “he left, but he’s back, isn’t he?” he throws his hands around for emphasis.

Then he shrugs, like he doesn’t know any better either, “He’s gotta be back for a reason.”

You don’t care. You don’t care what reason he’s back, or whatever he wants from you. “He can’t just come and go as he pleases, idiot,” you forcefully shrug it off, grumbling. “that jerk made his decision that day. He made his bed and now he has to lie in it.”

And Riki gives up on how stubborn you are, “You really do hold grudges, don’t you?” he ruffles your hair up, amused.

Strangling a sound, you kick the back of his leg, but he dodges.

Oops, your eyes slightly widen, anticipating a fall. You lose your balance, nearly tripping - but luckily, Riki notices within a half of a second and catches you before your face plants flat on the ground, hoisting you back to his chest by the grip on your waist.

You were going to laugh at your mistake, your face already breaking into a smile - but your eyes catch someone a few feet away.

You blink. Your smile slowly starts to drop at the sight of him.

Of course, it had to be Yang Jungwon.

For a split second, your shock doesn’t allow your eyes to leave his.

Riki snaps you out of it, releasing you from his grasp and guides you to his side as he slings his arm around your shoulder - like he always does. You’re sure Riki knew well enough and had an idea of how Jungwon looked like. He recognized him straight from the café, and you never questioned how he knew. How were you going to walk out of this one?

Riki doesn’t look at you in confirmation - you have no idea what shit he’s going to pull, but you’re sure as hell it isn’t going to be good.

He nods once in acknowledgement over at Jungwon, but Jungwon pays no mind and choses to ignore him as his eyes flicker onto the arm around you.

Riki notices it.

You don’t know what to do.

“Hey, I’m Riki,” he starts - and for some crazy reason, he sounds as if he was gloating, “who are you?” he throws back casually. Too casually. You would be irritated to talk to him, if you were in his place. The dislike in Jungwon’s features is evident enough. You don’t know what Riki was playing, but he extends his hand out for Jungwon to bro-shake, whatever that could even signify.

A long pause. Jungwon barely glances at it before his attention is back on you, ignoring him beside you as a whole.

“Why are you with him?” he tries to casually question you - as if he was trying to create small talk - his voice is calm - but Jungwon’s eyes never lie. He could never hide anything from it. You knew that look, and you didn’t like it. It made your blood boil. The guts of this self-centered arrogant asshole.

Riki answers in your stead, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to answer. He laughs, throwing his head back a bit, “Oh, don’t mind us,” he curtly replies, “my girl over here ‘s just really clumsy.”

You forgot how much of on asshole Nishimura Riki really is.

Riki effortlessly sighs, openheartedly shrugging as if to say ‘what-can-you-do?’. It was friendly, but you understood the underlying meaning. He was testing him. Picking at him. Provoking him. You wanted to facepalm. Provoking was the only thing he was ever good at, why did you even bother? What was this, some fighting-for-the-alpha-spot werewolf shit?

Nishimura Riki, you asshole!

Jungwon understands the message. A muscle up on his clenched cheek twitches, his eyes slightly narrow. Was he threatened already? You were in a state of disbelief, Riki was barely even doing anything. Seriously. He never changes.

“Why are you with him?” he asks you again, this time his voice comes out somewhat strained in the end. The old Jungwon would’ve probably started a fight right then and there, lacking any sort of composure. Jungwon changed, hasn’t he?

But you have, too.

Riki peeks at you, “Babe? Do you know him?” Confused. Curious. Innocent.

You had to give it to him. Riki was an amazing actor, he could’ve fooled you if you didn’t know any better yourself.

You merely glance at Jungwon, barely a pause before you answer, “No.”

No hesitation in your tone. A ‘no’ as if he was simply a stranger standing before you. Nothing. You observe how your answer hits Jungwon. How the simple word destructs him. You could only watch. Everything was different now. This is what you wanted, wasn’t it?

But where was the sense of satisfaction?

You tug at Riki’s arm, “Let’s go, you promised me to bring me home today.”

You leave Jungwon like that. You leave him with the uncomfortable feeling that was bubbling up. Riki is surprised. And confused. You don’t know if he’s still continuing the act when he affectionately waves Jungwon goodbye before immediately following after you.

Yang Jungwon strikes again.

You whacked Riki at the back of his head the moment you were as far from the gods-be-damned-scene and as far from Jungwon as possible, “Idiot!” you hissed, “What the hell was that?”

He rubs the back of his neck soothingly, glaring at you. “You know, just a little ‘thank you’ would suffice.”

“’Thank you’, my ass! I told you to not pull any stupid shit!” You threaten to hit him again, vexed at the stunt he pulled. The situation was only going to get worse from there and you couldn’t take back anything at this point. You retreated your arm, groaning in horror of what’s to come.

“The moment called for it!” was his only excuse.

You scowled at him, as if your eyes could annihilate him at the spot.

You got Jungwon, you had to admit. A few more of these blows and he would leave your sights. This was a bad idea, but your mind didn’t seem to pay any care.

Hurt him.

Right then and there, your ego allows Riki to participate in whatever crazy-sick game this was. You just needed Jungwon far away.

Riki smirks at you and flashes you a winning smile. He knows you’ve agreed to his idea without having to say anything else. You had no other option, either way.

“You won’t regret this, ___. It’ll be fun!” he singsongs, draping his arm around you.

It’ll be fun, you echoed.

You’ve been lying to yourself for two years, what’s a couple days more to you?

THE NEXT DAY

Jungwon finds you asleep, leaning your head on the desk with your cheek pressed up against the table.

And Nishimura Riki was by your side, reading gleefully. Mostly watching you sleep. A fucking weirdo, Jungwon inwardly comments. His stomach turns at the sight. His mood has already dried.

He stands there for what seems like a torture of infinity before Riki sees him there. He just grins at him. Jungwon would want to do nothing more but throttle him and that shit-eating look off his face.

“Here for the thesis paper?” was all he asks, he starts collecting himself and his things, preparing to leave, thankfully, Jungwon praises.

But when Riki decides to act like the biggest fucker to piss him off all the more when he leans in to gently tuck back the hair covering your face as as you sleep, Jungwon defensively takes a step forward to you by instinct, ready with a handful of swear words.

Riki notices it, and only press his index finger on his lips, indicating to keep his voice down. Jungwon’s jaw slightly ticks as he stays in place - not risking your sleep.

He pats Jungwon’s shoulder on his way out, but he stops by the door. He motions him closer, as if he were to tell him something hugely important. Jungwon presses his lips into a thin line, walking up to him and trying to keep it as civil as possible.

He holds up a finger, as if to gesture ‘and-one-more-thing’, “Oh, and tell her to keep the hoodie she’s wearing, will you?”

Jungwon raises both brows in question, and instantly regrets it.

Riki further explains himself, "She likes stealing them from me. God knows she has a whole rack of them on her closet.” He shrugs, a growing smirk on his face. “But eh, I like it on her, it suits her better.”

That little shit.

He was about to give him a phony nod and thumbs up to let the whole agitating conversation over with when Riki presses his luck even further, “She’s pretty.”

God. Jungwon’s patience was running thin, his jaw flexes.

“Oh, and tell her -”

Jungwon nearly slams the door on his face.

He wondered what you saw in that guy.

Walking back with his hands stuffed in his pockets - something he does when he was definitely pissed off, he yanks a chair, face displaying irritation at its finest when he arrives back at your table. He doesn’t bother to spare you a glance your way, he knows you too well.

“I know you’re awake,” he says out of nowhere, his voice tight. “Stop pretending.”

It takes several moments before you start faking a yawn. You could easily fool anyone, but sadly for you, he knows you too well. His glance is blank as you outstretch your arms as if you had just woke up, you greet him as if you hadn’t expected to see him there, “Oh . . hey.”

Jungwon had already looked sour from his encounter with Riki, his pissed off gaze averts away from yours. A muscle from his jaw ticks as he huffs, “Your boyfriend left.”

You nod, blinking as if you were slowly trying to register everything. Jungwon wanted to ask you a flood of questions: what was he doing here? Were you already awake when he was being a creep and staring at you while you were ‘asleep’? Why are you wearing his hoodie -? “Okay.”

That aggravates him even more, and his tone turns curt and strained. “I’m going to work on the thesis. You do whatever.” he dismisses you, heaving a short breath.

He stalks off, but not before grimacing at your outfit up and down - more than fumingly horrified, spitting out through gritted teeth, “And take off that hoodie. It looks horrible on you.”

THE WEEK AFTER

You wake up in Monday morning with aching pins and needles, not being able to move an inch of your body. Your eyelids were too heavy to keep open, weighing tons of your effort.

Of all days, you were sick.

Lord.

Releasing a cough, your hand reaches for your ringing phone. Riki, the contact label name displayed. You try to clear your throat as you answer the call, in effort to not sound as sick as possible. “Hello?” your groggy and hoarse voice could be depicted from miles away by a total stranger. Much less Nishimura Riki.

“Princess?” His voice answers through the call, perceptibly worried, “what’s wrong? You sound . . . off today.” You could tell he was squinting as he said this.

“Uh. . .” you sniffed, trying to come up of a lie, “just watched a sad film. Cried a lot.”

Riki hums, giving no humor in his voice. “Mhm. And that’s why you’re late four hours to class?”

Your stomach lurches. You were what? You had classes today, and you didn’t even remember. Were you missing on anything important in university today? Shit.

Racing for the most reasonable excuse, “I wanted to . . . enjoy a day off?” Bad liar. You were nothing but a bad liar. You were too exhausted to create a better and more creative lie.

Riki, being way too observant on things he shouldn’t be, clearly wasn’t buying it. He clicks his tongue. “I’m coming over. Don’t go anywhere. Stay in bed,” he orders you shortly before ending the call. He doesn’t scold you or lecture you, and he leaves it at that.

You moan at the surge of pain once again located in your stomach, you had no plans of leaving the bed even if you wanted to anyway, given your current state.

Riki texts you that he was outside around less than ten minutes later.

If you could complain, you’d rather have Riki come in your room to help you up. Like he always did. You found him not doing so rather odd, as he would always make the weirdest reasons to come drop by your house. Moving the slightest inch was hard as it already was.

It takes you what seems like hours for you to get out of bed, and even more for you to bag your bag and head outside. You were ready to grumble about how efficient and less painful this would’ve been if Riki had come to help you until more than one figure greets you outside your yard.

Riki and . . . hands stuffed to his pockets, head bowed - you know that side profile -Yang Jungwon?

Both stayed at opposite ends, standing in front of their cars, awaiting for you with the hardest glares sent the other’s way. What was happening? Jungwon was most likely the reason Riki wasn’t able to go inside your house to pick you up. That was the only factor that made sense - the rest was something you couldn’t connect the dots of.

Both their cars parked out of your house, and you could feel the tension slicing you in half the moment you step foot outside. These two could never stay in the same room, sticking around to wait for you was strictly meant for you.

Jungwon is the first to break the glaring match as soon as he sees you, being the first to approach you while gently holding you up.

“Love, are you okay? Let me bring you to the hospital - come on,” he pleads with you, gesturing towards his car.

“This isn’t the time to joke about something like this in her state,” Riki forces a fake smile through his gritted teeth, irritated as he sneaks his arm around your waist, holding you up himself all the better with a single hand, “just so you know.”

Jungwon’s gaze darkens, “It isn’t about fighting for who gets her, just so you know,” he mimics, “I don’t trust her with you, you dipshit.”

Riki scoffs to himself, shifting his weight as he continues to press you tightly against him, not budging an inch of you to Jungwon, “And look who came to talk.”

Jungwon opens his mouth, his eyes ruthlessly set on Riki’s before you try and weakly cut in from your lack of energy. However, your weak knees give up on you and you almost stumble down, not before both Jungwon and Riki reaches out their hand to grab your arm within half a second. Riki half-yells your name, all the more uneasy and concerned than you were.

“Y/N? Love? Are you okay?” Jungwon’s hostile tone towards Riki not seconds ago immediately dissipates, conveying his tone of worry and panic at your weak state.

“I’ll drive you to the hospital,” Jungwon additionally suggests, trying to have you lean his weight on him for you to stand property, and in that way he could easily carry you back to his car.

“Hell no,” Riki growls, in the other hand.

You notice Jungwon’s eyes darken at the corner of your eye, “And who exactly are you to her to begin with-?”

“Her boyfriend, nice to meet you, you dipshit,” Riki retorts.

Jungwon lets out a low noise, pissed off at a topic that was seemingly sensitive to him. “Over my dead body would you ever be her boyfriend.”

He rolls his eyes in disinterest. “Still going through the stages of grief? Is this the denial stage?” he taunts, clicking his tongue with a tsk.

“Bo,” Jungwon calls you - candidly ignoring Riki’s shitty statements, but his sharp eyes never leave Riki’s, “let’s get this over with and tell us who would you want to -”

This was getting too prolonged, you were so close to vomiting again. You definitely did not want to vomit here of all places. “Riki,” you called out faintly, interrupting Jungwon, “please take me to the hospital.”

All parts of your body ached painfully, and you were too miserably ill to deal with this situation. You imagine Jungwon’s expression crumbling, deflating.

Riki straightens, visibly surprised, but he doesn’t hesitate. Not before giving Jungwon a final look, he carries you with you gently, making sure you were watching your step as the both of you left the defeated Jungwon without another word.

You were too weak to look back at Jungwon – he helplessly stares after the sight of his girl - his girl - being taken away from him when she needed help the most.

Again.

You spend three days in the hospital for a diagnosed viral infection.

Thankfully but not surprisingly, Riki stayed by your side through every minute, only leaving for a shower, buying take-out, and for getting you new packs of clothes. It was Ningning and Seoyeon who came over to take care of you during Riki’s leave.

He sticked around from the moment you were submitted, to the insertion of the IV, through your countless trips to the bathroom to puke and for him to hold your hair back, and through your dischargement.

The both of you were on your way to the car to load your things. Riki had all of his hands filled. “Oh yeah, I almost forgot, thanks for the wanton noodles,” you mention immediately as soon as you remembered, “How d’you know they were my favorite?” You don’t recall ever brining it up to Riki.

Instead of bursting up his signature winning smirk, Riki furrows his brows at you, “Wanton noodles? What wanton noodles?”

You perked up a brow, “The one you left by the door earlier when you were paying the discharge bills?”

Riki had nothing. He blinks at you as if you had been hallucinating. “Why would I leave food by the door?” he shakes his head, “Doll, what in the hell are you talking about?”

“The wanton noodles that you –“ You stop mid-sentence, freezing. Realization dawns on you then. The note, you recall as you piece things back together.

Stop skipping meals. I got you your favorite. I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me.

Yang Jungwon.

There was no name from who it was from, you had simply assumed it was from Riki. This wasn’t your first time realizing that Jungwon had never dropped by, you had simply figured he didn’t care. Your stomach sinks, ‘I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me’. The double implications.

Riki waves his hand in front of your face, “Earth to princess? Hello?”

Ah. Right. You blink, shaking your head – you meet his eyes with a smile, “Nothing. I just thought I remembered something.”

WEEKS LATER

Jungwon was a lot quieter than usual ever since you’d been discharged.

Since . . . the night he and Riki were there. You slightly wince at the memory.

You almost managed to successfully spend a thesis discussion with him without having to say much - to your great pleasure - until he just had to ruin it for you. He was filling in his part for the thesis paper while you were scanning through the pages of the book you were reading, skipping to the ending.

“Hey,” he starts, humor laced in his voice. “D’you still read the endings of books like you used to? I remember –“

Your head snaps up. You don’t smile. You don’t flush red in embarrassment. You don’t laugh like the way he’d expected you to. The way you always did. You stared harshly down to his eyes. It wasn’t the heart-fluttering kind - nor was it the passionate or the fierce or the loving kind of stare. No, it was a heart-piercing glare - so full of pure hatred, the kind that had his breath hitching up his throat in the worst way possible and his heart sinking into your stomach.

“Don’t.”

Ah.

No double meanings. Nothing else. The essence couldn’t be taken as a mere mistakable, conveyed with just one simple word that held the heaviest weight, yet it was enough for him to understand. He doesn't try to catch himself or his smile as it fades - along with the antagonizing agony that accompanied it.

The light in your eyes has gone.

They were so dark.

It doesn’t shine the way it used to.

He opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. He struggles. It takes him two more tries. Two more times of you opening and closing his mouth for him to finally unknot his tongue and drag the words to the surface.

“You have a …” he hesitates to say it, “boyfriend?”

It was so close. A few seconds until you would leave, and he just could wait. Stuffing your university belongings back into your bag, you exhaled, your lips tightening into a hard line. “What is it to you?”

A second or two passes, “Oh,” he replies, “I didn’t know, so -”

“What difference does it make?” you rhetorically question him, your patience running thin, “if you didn’t know or if you did?” You were being absurd - you knew that, but you wanted anything but the idea of having to talk about that subject with him and act like it was fine.

Being snappy at him wasn’t the greatest idea, but you know Jungwon was trying to get at somewhere. You would do whatever it took to defy him. That quiets him down, only forcing a painful nod.

You needed to leave. You couldn’t stay away from him, especially whenever he was near. God knows only a few words from Jungwon would be all it would take for him to manipulate you back into his strings.

Painful silence.

Until, “Does he make you happy?”

You find yourself freezing.

A sick feeling in your stomach.

Does he make you happy?

Happy.

Why was he asking the question like he meant it?

Your eyes flicker his way, and there is no hint of humor or taunting mock in his face. Was he serious? The man who broke you to pieces and disregarded you stood before you and asked if another man was making you happy, as if he cared. As if he ever did.

You don’t say anything.

You don’t have anything to say.

Jungwon knows that.

You try to breathe.

One.

Two.

Three.

You walk away, and he lets you. You walk away because walking away was the only thing you’ve ever done. Because walking away was the only thing you could ever do around him. Because you can’t risk another goodbye from him.

You were done gnawing back at the past.

[ now playing ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ spring day by bts ]

↻ … ᶠˡᵃˢʰᵇᵃᶜᵏ

AFTER THE BREAK-UP

And the both of you became back to being nothing.

Just like that.

You told him your secrets, and you let him in. All the good, all the bad. You trusted him and brought down your defenses. You let him know your weird thoughts or funny inside jokes and the deep insecurities.

But he never got to know the little things, you realize the moment it’s over. The little things that infuriated you. The little things that made you laugh. Or the little things that would always put you on a better mood - the little bits and pieces of you.

You barely got to know him at all.

Was that the reason?

Was the fact of loving him just as plainly as that - nothing more, and nothing less - the root of it all?

Or was it just the big things that held the both of you together, and the small things that caused you to fall apart?

You don’t believe it’s over.

Because it’s not.

You’ve been stuck inside the house for longer than you could count. You’ve memorized the number of tiles on the floor and seen every miniscule crack on the wall. You know how many steps it takes to walk from here to the door.

And you know just how many steps Jungwon took to leave.

Your eyes remained fixated on the door, waiting at the dining table for him to come home.

Like every other day.

He was still finding his way back home, you reminded yourself.

Busy. He’s busy.

Tick-tock.

He’s on his way.

He'll come back. He always does. He promised.

You form hundreds of thousands of excuses for him.

But the door doesn’t swing open to reveal Jungwon in all form and glory beaming down at you, apologizing, telling you that it was a mistake, telling you that he didn’t mean it. Every day is the same.

But nothing.

Nothing.

Riki knows it’s one of your days.

He reaches for your hand to grab and the fact that you have no response alone proves his assumption even further.

He doesn’t mind, Riki decides to walk you home.

You have those days where you go completely silent. Worse than ever. So quiet that he could never guess what you’re thinking or if you’d ever come back from it. Eyes empty as if there was no one home. He doesn’t know how he could help you specifically, how he could make you snap out of it.

The only thing he can do is talk. Talk and talk and talk and talk. He talks for hours about anything on the top of his head, and Riki himself is surprised he could somehow manage to not run out of topics to tell you about.

Even if you don’t respond. Not even a flicker of recognition to any of his comments or jokes.

Riki never knows what you’re thinking.

But this time, that day, he knows it’s about Jungwon.

Someone asked you about Jungwon today. How he was doing, where he is, and what happened to him. As hard as Riki would shield you away from situations such as these, it wasn’t hard enough.

Riki was so close to making you smile the other day. He was finally doing it.

And then he’s back again to square one.

After his efforts of trying to get your attention by the food stalls the both of you passed by, Riki starts to go quiet.

There is no noise - nothing between the two of yoou. Only the rustling of leaves. The cool breeze of air. The sound of footsteps on cobblestone. Cars driving by. Indistinct chatters.

“Why are you still holding on?” quietly. So quietly, but you easily catch on Riki’s question. Then your hands slightly tremble.

You don’t answer him, you’re afraid of saying too much. You’re afraid.

He never said goodbye.

That was your reason.

He never said goodbye.

Jungwon always bids you goodbye, you’d explain to Riki if you could.

What makes this time any different, right?

He won’t leave without saying goodbye. He wouldn’t. Only you could understand.

He never said goodbye.

A part of you still believed that meant he was coming back.

When Riki tries dropping by like any other day - a sneaky reason to check on you, from the start of early morning, he sees you there.

You spend the whole day stuck in the kitchen.

Riki knows what day it was without having to ask.

By the evening, you bring out the cake that you’ve been preparing for and set it down the table, in front of an empty chair. The chair you never let anyone sit on. It’s still belonged to someone else.

Riki knows who it’s for.

Your eyes are distant, as if they were caught up in a dream. Light. You were there - physically, but you were far away. Far, far away. Riki started to wonder if this was just how you were. He wondered if there was ever a time where you were really alive.

He wondered the extent to how much this guy did to break you.

Your eyes looked so empty.

But you were still holding on, weren’t you? You’ve never responded to him, but he knew. Riki made no noise, but he clenches his hands into fists. You don’t acknowledge him standing there.

You set the candles down the cake with the lighter.

You only stare at the cake, expectantly. Waiting. Waiting for someone to blow the candles off. Waiting to sing the cheerful ‘happy birthday’ song and make a wish. But it wasn’t just anyone.

He doesn’t attempt to do anything - or say anything. But he stands near close to your proximity. Watching over. Silently. He doesn’t leave you that day.

You take a seat next to the empty chair, simply and patiently letting time pass as your eyes affixed themselves with the dancing fire.

Until the candles blow out themselves hours later from the cold air.

That night, Riki also knew who it was for when he heard your uncontrolled crying and broken whimpers pass from your room for the first time.

There was a period wherein you stopped leaving the house entirely. And Riki stopped pushing you to.

Everything reminds you of him.

The house has never felt so big.

Alone.

You miss the way he smells.

The overbearing feelings starts to compress, and you feel it expanding within your chest. It gets hard to breathe. You feel helpless.

Jungwon won’t like it if he sees you like this, wouldn’t he?

You keep reminding yourself.

He might come in any second, and you wanted to be at your best.

You promised yourself you wouldn’t cry.

You won’t cry.

You’d make it up to him.

You don’t want it to end.

He’ll come back.

You don’t know how many months it has been.

That’s a lie. You do.

You find one of the notes he wrote for you in an old shoe box.

It reminds you that what you had was real, that what you had wasn’t just a figment of your imagination. It wasn’t a dream.

You picked up the first letter, your fingers tracing through his handwriting.

It was painful. A shard of glass piercing through your skin.

To my one and only girl,

You couldn’t breathe.

It was merely the first line of the long letter, and you couldn’t breathe.

This time, you don’t pretend to forget that you aren’t Jungwon’s anymore. You don’t pretend that this was all a phase. A nightmare. A joke.

This time, you don’t pretend to wait at the living room for him to come back home, swinging the door open with a grin and greeting you from a long day like he used to. Not anymore. Even if you had so much to tell him. So much news to show off to him. So much news to be happy for. To celebrate. But you weren’t.

This time, you almost suffocate.

You torture yourself even more this time. You open the letter again and it rips your heart out. It stabs you and leaves you bleeding. You read the last line. Sealed with a promise. A broken promise that meant nothing now.

I’ll make you the happiest girl, I promise. I love you :)

You could imagine his cheeky smile as he wrote this, sealing the promise - among with every other one that he’s made. Every single one that he didn’t claim responsibility for.

Liar.

He was a liar.

He was reckless and a liar.

He broke you to the point where you couldn’t even manage to bring yourself to say his name.

You wish you were brave enough.

What a fool you were.

A dumb, useless fool.

“Kant’s metaphysics?” Riki answers, lying on the edge of your bed. He lounges carelessly with a review paper clutched on his left hand.

You rest a hand on your hip, pacing around your room. “No, but you’re somewhat close. It’s categorical imperative.” You corrected, recalling your philosophy lesson by memory through mentally singing a tune to yourself.

The philosophy oral examination was this coming Thursday that next week. It was Saturday. Riki complained, saying he needed help and tutoring, and you, other than staying cooped up at home debating your life choices and burying yourself in academics, there wasn’t really anything else you did.

He squints his eyes in confusion, “But how does that relate to the second follow up question after that?” you pause, staring hard at the desk beside you to remember the answer, you take minutes - but nothing.

You run a hand through your hair, visibly frustrated and stressed. You had all the more topics to go through. Hell, you had to go through the whole book and you couldn’t get past the second lesson yet.

Releasing an exhale, you shut your eyes tightly. Shit. Shit.

Jungwon always knew what to do. He knew how to calm you down and rile you up and make you laugh right after like he was born with it. He’d drop everything at the sight of you overthinking and over-stressing school work, embracing you and telling you that you didn’t have to worry. That he was there. He’d let you cry it out, vent out your frustration and stay by your side through it all, running a hand through your hair soothingly to comfort you.

He knew exactly how to take care of you.

You need him.

You needed him.

Just for this moment.

How much longer?

Biting down your lower lip forcefully, you chant the words over and over again.

He’s not coming back.

You know he’s not coming back.

You know.

You’re back to pacing across your room, back and fourth. ‘”I don’t know, I really -” you cut yourself off, irritated. At this point, you’re ready to erupt from the heavy weight of his absence. At this point, you want to drop to the floor and stop time to give yourself a breath.

Riki has sat up at this point, silently watching you. He’s probably either thinking that you were worrying and stressing over the amount of workload given to you like the usual. Or, does he know that academics isn’t what you were worrying about at all at that moment?

You try to level your breathing.

Come back.

Jungwon, please.

Come back to me.

To: won 😚🙄

[03:46am] you: hi i’m graduating this wednesday. i’d really like it if you could drop by.

error. message undelivered. try again?

[03:50am] you: hey did you know my graduation is nearing?? haha you should come :)

error. message undelivered. try again?

[05:18am] you: jungwon

[05:18am] you: are you there?

[05:19am] you: you’re gone and i really need you.

message sent.

do you want to delete this message?

message successfully deleted.

Contact user: [ENTER]

Contact: yang jungwon

by pressing [Confirm] you are allowing the name changes to be saved.

changes saved.

“The sun’s so clear out. Lighten up, princess ~” a voice calls you out of your thoughts and you realize you were trapped in a dream.

Identifying reality with dreams seemed entirely difficult to you. There was something fiction in the way reality was going to you.

Reality was as crazy as dreams were.

“Your moping is bad for my skin,” Riki comments lightheartedly, scrunching up his nose.

It’s been a week or so since he came along. Since he bumped into you and started to grow interest towards you. You don’t ask him, and you don’t really care. Nothing that every happens around you matters to you as much anymore.

You only blink in regard to him. That was more than a sign of acknowledging his presence that he was used to.

Riki is used to this. He doesn’t mid this type of behavior, nor did he expect anything else. He self-proclaimed himself as your guardian angel – two days after he’d met you – who’d look after you “since you lack the ability to look after yourself” end quote. Which was true. You couldn’t look after yourself. Especially due to the past circumstances that he pieced together himself.

You were probably someone’s ex-girlfriend.

To him, Y/N was a detached-from-reality schoolmate of his who was definitely more than what meets the eye.

You were someone he wanted to get to know, until you stopped becoming that person, one day.

Until you became someone he wanted to protect.

Sliding himself into the seat next to yours, he pouts at you. “Y’know . . . I think it’s time for you to . . move on,” he struggles finding the right word for it. You know it takes a lot in him to try and be gentle, as he probably would’ve been teasing you with a bunch of insults.

Your throat encloses, and you feel like burning up.

Moving on meant accepting that he was gone. Gone from your life. Accepting a future without him, and that wasn’t something you were ever going to be ready to do.

He was long gone.

Jungwon was long gone.

The magic you once felt with him wasn’t there anymore.

He wasn’t there anymore.

And neither were you.

Waiting for someone is painful.

Letting go from someone is painful, too.

But not knowing whether to wait for someone or let him go?

It hurts more than anything.

You were out inside the bathroom for the first time in hours since you’ve left your seat from blankly staring at your phone.

It was all pure coincidence when Nishimura Rik stumbles upon the open phone screen that you’ve been torturing yourself endlessly with.

It was all pure coincidence.

And coincidence just happened to align with his curiosity.

you: S.O.S. [7 hours ago]

you: come back [7 hours ago]

[Read]

Riki doesn’t have to read the contact name to see who it was.

It must be Riki’s professional job; being the only one around able to spot where you are when you suddenly disappear from the face of the earth.

“Princess?” Riki finally finds you along the benches, alone. He figures it weird, he’s not exactly sure what you were doing there exactly.

Until he sees your face. Your tear-stained cheeks.

Ah.

“It hurts.” Out of nowhere. He has never prepared himself for this. Your voice cracks a bit, “Riki, it hurts.” You plead with him as if he power to take it all away. Small. Helpless. That was what you sounded like.

He offers his open arms to you, and you bury yourself in them. He lifts you up from the darkness, even if it was just by a centimeter.

“I’m in so much pain, can you stop it?” you tell him in a managed whisper, your voice hoarse.

He’s afraid anything he’d say would only break you even further. He only hugs you tighter.

Fuck, why did he give too many shits about you? This wasn’t the least like him at all. What in the world have you managed to do to Nishimura Riki? He stares at you, not being able to do anything.

“Why does it hurt so much?” a small vulnerable child whimpering in pain – pain they were forced to believe was their fault. That was how you sounded.

He doesn’t know what to say. He’s frozen, in fact. “Riki I want to –“ you pause, trying to start again, “I’m tired,” you struggle with your words, your eyes closed shut, “Please make it stop.”

His eyes flicker.

Please make it stop.

Riki isn’t much of a person who really cared about anyone else’s business. He never poked his nose around because he never bothered enough to. Everyone was black and white to him.

You were a quite peculiar one to him, though. It drove him crazy, what was so good about you? You were clearly dead hungover your past ex. Barely talked. Barely did anything, at all.

But he saw the most beautiful and vibrant colors when he looked at you in the whole life that he’s been walking around colorblind to any other.

He was just being pulled down deeper.

For the first time, all Riki wanted from someone was just their happiness. Purely. Passionately. Their happiness for his happiness. He just wanted you . . .

He just wanted you.

Nishimura Riki is done for.

If this was what he thinks it is, he’s done for. Because Riki was ready to be anyone you wanted him to be.

You gave be something I’ve never had, he wants to tell you. And I have nothing special to give you - but I will give you everything I have.

He doesn’t break promises. Especially if it’s you.

Riki will mend what was broken.

Whatever it takes.

One step at a time.

He was getting himself into the biggest mistake in his life, God, he sure as hell knew that. But Riki was never going to regret what was to come.

He was going to make it stop. All of it.

… ᵉⁿᵈ ᶠˡᵃˢʰᵇᵃᶜᵏ ↺

PART TWO

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piratefishmama · 10 months

Text

Fake it 'Till You Make It | Part 3

“Alright so, how long has this throwing men at you thing been happening?” Not a sentence Eddie Munson ever expected to be saying out loud, especially not to Steve Harrington, but there they were, sat in the back of his van, which Eddie had parked just off of Cornwallis, his van hidden among the trees, safe from prying eyes.

They had to get their story straight, even if nothing about what they were doing was straight, that had to be straight. Especially straight enough to fool a goddamn lawyer like Lynda Harrington.

Eddie was just glad he’d left the pillows and blankets in there from the other week when he’d claimed he had a love nest in his van to a particularly horrified set of parents.

Nothing quite like the mental image of your barely legal precious daughter getting down an dirty in the back of a beat up old van. Fabulous.

It was actually quite nice though, he even put fairy lights up in there.

“The whole shebang, just over a month. But the men… that’s new. They haven’t managed to actually introduce me to anyone yet, one of the joys of queer shit being so frowned upon, they cant find a willing guy to come forward.” No-one daring enough to take the risk, not even for a Harrington.

“Can’t say I blame em, you’re having to pay me to out my own ass to your parents, they’re well respected, people expect them to be on the ‘right’ side of history” ‘right’ said with very sarcastic air quotes and matching tone.

“People are gonna be surprised then.” About as surprised as Steve was, probably. “So… are you… I mean… outing yourself? It’s… you don’t have to tell me but—I just… if they want proof i—I don’t wanna make you—” Steve was staring into his lap, awkward, cheeks flushed, adorable. Fucking… adorable… not a term of endearment he ever thought he’d throw at Steve Harrington.

So many unexpected turns for a Sunday morning.

“Mnhm, I’m ah… like you I suppose. Only I think I’m more of a five on the Kinsey scale…” at Steve’s raised brow and adorable puppy head tilt, Eddie smiled sheepishly, of course the King of the Jocks wouldn’t know what the damn Kinsey scale was. “That’s uh… it kinda measures bisexuality? It’s rarely an exact 50/50 split between liking guys and girls, most lean one way or the other, with an interest in more… I uh… I lean more towards men… you…”

“Girls… I think.” Eddie nodded, it was what he expected. “But—what’s the scale?”

“Zero to six, six being gay and zero being straight. I’m pretty solidly a five I think…” five made sense to him. He’d found girls attractive before, maybe even had a crush on one once, a pretty cheerleader who’d made his palms sweaty and his heart beat fast enough to make him turn tail and run in terror, but boys were his go to. “It’s not an exact science though, I mean shit, you don’t have to label anything.”

“… I feel like a three.”

“A three?” Higher than he expected but, as of that morning he’d thought Steve was a zero. No clue what so ever that he’d ever even entertained the idea of boys.

“Mn… I’ve… I’ve definitely been attracted to men before, a few men actually… some ruined it immediately by being assholes” Eddie didn’t want to guess, but a few jocks did come to mind “but… I’ve never tried anything, y’know?” Aww, never touched a boy, cute. “And telling my parents? That was recent, like, really recent, and impulsive. I just didn’t expect them to pull this whole ‘we can throw men at you now!’ Schtick so… to answer your original question, about two weeks now. Why?”

“Building a believable timeframe so we can have an idea as to where they might expect us to be in our ‘relationship.’ Your mom’s a lawyer right? Shits not gonna be as easy as telling them we’re dating and have that be that she’s gonna want the when’s, the how’s, the details, normal moms do, yours is a lawyer dude, we have to be spot on with everythin or this will be a total waste of time, and money on your part cause obviously, no refunds.” He may not be dealing as much as he used to be once he realised he had other more valuable services to offer,

And the party king stopped throwing parties??

But his policies were still pretty iron tight.

Steve just nodded his head, he understood, Eddie couldn’t get his time back so, however many days he spent there, he’d be paid for each one regardless of the outcome. “Alright… what do you normally do with these dates then?”

“Freak the fuck out of their parents usually. Be vulgar, insinuate things, the Gillespie’s hate being called by their first names?? No idea why, but that was an easy spot to poke at, I’ll talk about my band, offer weed to chill out, y’know, typical things that’d make a parent in rural Indiana pale at the thought that their sweet daughters had only skimmed the surface of the dating pool, finding just the scum the pool boy hadn’t cleaned out and settling with it.”

It could have been self-deprecating, in fact Steve almost told him not to think of himself like that but Eddie seemed genuinely amused by the whole thing, it was all an act.

He was a mischievous gremlin, he was making himself the worst of the worst in front of these people, he didn’t think he was that person, he just acted the part like some kind of drama club performance.

Oh god, wasn’t he in drama? “…That’s uhm… that’s a mental image.”

“I’m a storyteller” Eddie shrugged “sometimes I talk about DnD too, and—”

“I mean how do you prepare for them?”

“Oh… not much to prepare for on those ones, it’s usually just one night and the main goal is to fuck it up so bad that the girls’ parents don’t want their daughter going anywhere near that stupid pool out of the fear that she’ll settle for scum again, this is the first long term relationship I’ve had to fake! And you want me to fake it properly, not just fuck it up, I mean… It can’t be a surprise to you that I’ve never been in a relationship, right?”

Steve wanted to be polite, he really did! But no, it wasn’t a surprise.

Not because Eddie wasn’t attractive, it’d be a lie to claim that. Eddie Munson was… a special kind of attractive to Steve. The oh god what? Kind of attractive that only existed when a polo-wearing jock type like Steve, found someone like Eddie attractive.

That kind of attractive.

He had a nice, soft face, framed perfectly by a mass of badly maintained curls. Not badly in the way that they were dirty, just… it was clear he had no idea how to tame them, how to enhance them, how to do anything with them other than apparently put a brush through them and make himself look like he’d been dragged through a bush. Twice.

He had those big brown eyes, expressive, could easily find himself stuck in them if he looked for too long.

The smile with the dimples? Gold star on that one.

He didn’t have acne, or pimples, he didn’t stink, he clearly cared about basic hygiene, but that was all surface level stuff.

He was also expressive about his interests, which was an attractive trait, he was sneaky smart.

Sure teachers had all but written him off as an imbecile and he’d heard a few saying that over the years to the poor guys face, but Steve had seen Eddie do difficult multiplications on the fly.

He’d seen Eddie recite Shakespeare off the top of his head, prattle off verse after verse, sometimes free styling in perfect iambic pentameter if the teachers dropped jaw was enough of a sign.

He'd seen Eddie climb a rope in gym. Dude was squirrelly, he had muscle in those arms, and nobody in that gym knew where he’d built it. Maybe he wasn’t gifted at dodgeball, but he could sure as hell climb shit.

He’d seen Eddie be an effective businessman. Tommy had bought from him a few times, and he’d seen Eddie dealing at his parties. The guy knew his shit when it came to drugs, he didn’t just deal and bail, he stuck around and made sure people were safe. Could always answer questions if people had them, so he could retain knowledge just fine, it just had to align with his interests.

School didn’t work for him, that didn’t make him unintelligent. Steve could respect that. Steve could relate to that. Except he did feel like he was kind of an idiot.

But no… it wasn’t a surprise that Eddie hadn’t been in a relationship.

People looked at him warily in school, he put up a shield around himself made of barbs shot at every clique the school had, he fired off pastor at a megachurch worthy sermons about being against conformity and capitalism from atop school lunch tables.

He was in band, drama club, AV club, the dude was a nerd of the highest order, the ‘image conscious’ girls of Hawkins High didn’t wanna be seen with that.

So even if he did sort of like girls, stupid high school girls wouldn’t like him. Wouldn’t appreciate him the way he should be appreciated.

“…No, I guess it’s not a surprise… high school sucks though, man. There’s no permanence in high school flings.”

“Would have at least liked a fling though, that would have been cool.” Would he though? No. As much as it didn’t align with the whole rockstar life he had thought up for himself, he wanted something… bulkier. Something with more to it than surfing strangers beds. He wanted permanence.

Wanted someone to come home to, arms he knew, a garden he could fuck around in, maybe a tree to sit in and write songs on warm summer days.

A fireplace to snuggle up in front of with a special someone.

Maybe a kid, or three.

“It’s not all it’s cracked up to be, Eddie. Trust me. You had fun doing what you did, I got my heart stomped on over and over again, not fun.” It didn’t sound fun. Eddie wanted to reach out, it wasn’t far, they were in a small van, two pretty tall guys, there wasn’t much space there, he could have reached out but… the space between them still felt too vast.

“…Guess it’s a tend to your own field kind of thing then eh?” Steve looked at him with a small frown, a question in his expression “y’know… the grass is always greener on the other side? Just tend to your own field, the grass will grow. Do your own thing, it’ll be better for you…? That kind of thing.”

“Ah… then yeah, it’s a tend to your own field kind of thing.” Eddie smiled and gently bopped his head in agreement. A surprisingly comfortable silence stretched for a moment until “I think… a week would be best. Say we’ve been dating a week, but met at one of your gigs a few weeks back maybe? It’d explain why I’ve been less than enthused about any of their choices. I was already into someone.”

“…You know about my gigs?” Oh could those brown eyes get any bigger?

“Yeah? Tuesdays at The Hideout right? Dustin keeps trying to bribe me into taking him…” Eddie’s smile turned a little softer, warmer, prettier, he had such a soft spot for that kid it wasn’t even fair. “I could say Robin an I decided to check it out to see if it was ‘kid friendly’ enough to take him, Robin introduced us since she’d know you from band, you teased me about being there, but not in a mean way cause beneath all those barbs at us poor jocks, you’re actually really nice, and we just hit it off? Took us a bit of time to feel each other out cause it’s dangerous to be like us but once we did it was like… bam. Stars collided or some shit.”

“…You’re… surprisingly in tune with this queer shit, Harrington…”

“I’ve known I was bisexual for a while, Eddie… it’s not new to me, I know it’s dangerous, I’ve seen what jocks like me do to people like me… even when there’s no proof only rumour or because you look it… I know how dangerous it is to be like us… but do you think it’d work though?”

“…The barebones story is there, we can world-build. Now let’s talk boundaries.”

Part 5

#PirateWrites #FakeItTillYouMakeItFiclet #Steddie #No Upside Down AU #o ye Steve KNOWS Eddie's pretty

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bangtanflirt · 1 year

Text

Wait, Little Rabbit! (Part 4)

fluff, angst, smut

Bunny Hybrid (Fem) Reader x Human Seokjin x Dog Hybrids Jimin and Hoseok x Cat Hybrid Yoongi x Wolf Hybrids Namjoon, Taehyung, & Jungkook

NSFW. 18+

Part 1 > Part 2 > Part 3 > Part 4 > Part 5

Summary: You, a meek little bunny hybrid, find family amongst six predator hybrids and their lovely human caretaker.

Warnings: mxm smut, anal fingering and penetration, handjob, mild pain and overstimulation kink, dirty talk with lots of teasing, lovey dovey dom and sub dynamics, ptsd from past abuse manifested in a nightmare and anxiety attack, prejudice against predators this time because I like to switch it up, Joon and y/n still have boatloads of sexual tension, overall this is mainly hurt/comfort more than anything else tbh

____

It’s the next morning, when you’re using some of Taehyung’s art supplies in the dining room, that Namjoon excitedly walks towards you. A hint of your prey instincts creep in, fazed by the Alpha coming at you so quickly. Namjoon notices your unease, and you’re worried he’ll ridicule you for being so on edge, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he slows down his movements. When he’s reached the dining table, he puts down a stack of ten or so books and stands proudly before you. You look at the books, seeing titles of “Memoirs of a Prey Hybrid,” “What Predators Don’t Get” and such. You look up at the tall wolf with curiosity.

“I did some reading” He states, eyes searching yours for approval.

“Oh my God, Namjoon. This is so much! You really got through all of these…for me?”

He nods, puffing his chest out. “I told you I would try to understand you better, and I don’t say things I can’t commit to. I’ve gained a lot of perspective reading these.”

“This is..wow, thank you Namjoon, really.” You’re amazed. You’d never expect an apex predator to put so much work into understanding a little prey like you. “No wonder Taehyung and Jungkook look up to you so much. That thing you told me about wanting to lead with respect—you’re doing an amazing job with that, really.”

The wolf’s dimples make an appearance, shy smile making your heart jump. It’s almost enough to make you forget his stunt last night. Almost.

“But I’m still annoyed with you about yesterday. That was mean.” You stand up in front of him, pouting and with your arms crossed across your chest. The height difference really doesn’t help you to be taken seriously. Namjoon’s kind gaze changes to a mischievous one once more as he chuckles down at you. “That was payback for making me think about your topless figure the whole day.” You narrow your eyes, “You could have done something about it. But you left me high and dry.”

“I knew you wouldn’t be high and dry too long, not with the dog hybrids at your beck and call.”

“That’s not the point..why didn’t you do something?”

“Because you didn’t beg for it.”

You gawk at him but he just shrugs, doubling down.

“I’m an Alpha, y/n. You really think I’ll just give into you because you want it? That’s not how things work around here sweetheart. If you want me, you’ll have to kneel and beg first.”

He punctuates his statement with a wink, then walks away before you even have time to process. You shake away the growing neediness in the pit of your stomach, feeling your pride slip away from you. Surely, he’s not serious—right? He’s just messing with you a little more. He won’t make you actually kneel and beg. Surely not.

An hour goes by as you go back to mindlessly painting, brain still hung up on the Alpha wolf’s frustrating demands. You’re so tangled in your own thoughts that it takes you a minute to see Jimin has woken up, making his way to the kitchen for a glass of water. When you do notice, you call out for the dog hybrid, wanting to wave him good morning. Strangely, he doesn’t respond, instead keeping all of his attention on the glass he’s filling. You try one more time, but cut yourself off when your eyes zero in on his face. It’s not the bright morning face you’re used to; the dog hybrid’s eyes are puffed up and red, and his lips are twisted into a rigid frown.

You make your way to the kitchen in an instant, taking the man’s face into your hands and asking what’s wrong. He doesn’t respond, just pulls you in and starts sobbing loud enough for the other hybrids to hear from their rooms. It takes no time for everyone to gather around you two, minus Seokjin who’s at work.

“Chim, what’s wrong? Is it the nightmares again?” Hoseok’s voice overflows with concern as he rubs the younger dog hybrid’s back. Jimin doesn’t respond, too occupied with the growing pain in his chest.

“Nightmares?” You question, still firmly in Jimin’s embrace.

“He gets like this sometimes when he has nightmares of his old owners” Yoongi explains, “some kind of PTSD that also triggers an anxiety attack. Not as frequent as before but they do still happen.”

Your heart drops as you hug him back tightly, tears prickling at your own cheeks from seeing him this way. Hoseok lets you tighten your embrace for a minute before carefully prying Jimin off of you to hand him water and a prescribed pill. Everyone watches with worry; Yoongi stresses for him to do his breathing techniques while Jungkook brings him his favorite tennis ball. The dog hybrid holds the tennis ball close, using it to ground himself.

“They moved a long time ago Jimin, they can’t hurt you anymore.” Taehyung says in the most serious tone you’ve ever heard from him, “Plus you have us now, and we’ll rip their throats out before they can even breathe the same air as you or Hobi hyung. There’s no reason to be scared when you have us.”

Taehyung’s words seem to help relax Jimin, his breathing getting less frantic between the sips of water Hoseok nudges him to take. This talk isn’t new; one hybrid or another usually says something along the same lines every time he gets like this. Still, it helps to be reminded. Hopefully one day he can internalize it, but until then, the people around him are more than fine with reminding him.

___

The original plan was to spend a lazy afternoon together, huddled around watching a movie and waiting for Jin to return. That plan, however, is so boring. No one is feeling the movie anymore, but you’ve already watched too much to switch to another one right now. It doesn’t help that Jimin’s morning anxiety attack is still fresh on everyone’s mind, and the dog hybrid himself doesn’t look up to his full self either. This is when Namjoon does what he’s best at: lead.

“Okay that’s enough of this movie. Let’s go to the hybrid park.”

The atmosphere immediately changes, dog hybrids now wagging their tail and all.

“Wait” you inquire “Is it okay to go without a caretaker? Won’t Jin not like it?”

Jungkook chimes in, “Relax bun, Jin doesn’t mind as long as Joon hyung supervises on his behalf!”

And so everyone puts on their collars and tags, ready to set out. It’s the first time you get to wear yours for something other than a vet visit. You admire the baby pink belt with the silver tag. You didn’t think you’d ever get another one. Namjoon swiftly takes the collar from you, telling you to turn around as he tightens it around you. You don’t miss the way his claws every so slightly graze the sensitive skin of your neck, and he doesn’t miss the tiny gasp you let out. However, he’s back into leader mode in point two seconds after, telling everyone to put on sunscreen and bring water bottles. You hate how easily he can get you riled up.

Places like these usually have a “no hybrids without a caretaker” policy, but you know that no seventeen year old—earning minimum wage—at the entry booth is going to argue with a pack of wolves.

The hybrid park in this neighborhood has a completely different vibe than the one you went to before. Your old neighborhood was mainly made up of people like your previous caretaker: elderly and there to relax with their hybrids. Here, however, the caretakers were young and more than willing to play around with their hybrids. The higher energy vibe does intimidate you a little, but not too much considering you’re here with six other hybrids—and all except Yoongi are pretty high energy themselves. It’s after a good hour of playing around does Jimin feel like himself again, making everyone around him visibly less stressed. The vibe is back to usual, and running around in fresh air is exactly what all of you need. Namjoon chooses to sit out of the antics to instead sit and throw a fetch toy for you and the dog hybrids. You notice just how intently he keeps track of each hybrid, causing you to feel further protected. Taehyung and Jungkook are kicking a football around, tackling one another quite aggressively at any chance they get (yet giggling the whole time). Yoongi, predictably, has found himself a nice place to lay around with headphones in. Everyone’s in a state of content by the time Namjoon gathers you all to leave.

“Everyone ready to go?”

“Can we stay for ten more minutes? Pleaseee” Jungkook pouts, but Namjoon stands his ground.

“Wait, look over there” Taehyung urges, pointing to a corner of the park where you see an injured hybrid and no caretaker in sight. “I’m going to go help him really quick!” The wolf says before running off.

“TAEHYUNG NO” Namjoon yells but it’s too late, the beta wolf’s speed has him there in a second.

“What’s wrong?” You ask, lost and taken aback at Namjoon’s raised voice. The Alpha takes two fingers to pinch his forehead, “That’s clearly a prey hybrid.”

Uh oh.

“I’ll go get him” Jungkook offers, waiting for confirmation.

“No. Anymore predator hybrids will just make things worse.”

That’s when everyone looks at you.

“Do you think you can go get him bun?” Hobi asks gently. You give them a determined look, nodding before hopping off.

The scene you find once you get there is heart wrenching; the mouse hybrid is crying in fear, screaming for Taehyung to spare him. Taehyung, on the other hand, is repeatedly trying to tell the mouse he’s not going to hurt him, face getting more and more dejected with each failed attempt.

“I promise I’m not going to hurt you! I’m here to help.”

“Yeah right! You think I’m dumb just because I’m a prey hybrid, don’t you? Leave me alone you monster!”

“Woah woah” you interject, “relax! Taehyung is harmless! He’s here with me. We can help you!”

You hope your presence can persuade the hurt hybrid, but all you get is a scoff.

“Don’t kid yourself. It won’t be long until he turns on you. It’s a new type of game predator hybrids have started to play: they lie and act until you trust them only to rip you apart after. He’s not your friend. He’s just playing with his food.”

It’s not long before tears prick Taehyung’s eyes and he’s running off. You chase after him, surprised to see where he’s going. Taehyung doesn’t run off mindlessly, nor does he run back to Namjoon and the others; no, he goes to some random caretaker and asks her to check up on the hurt prey. It’s only after his request is accepted does he dispiritedly trudge back to everyone—with you silently trailing behind. The walk back home has reset the mood to once again somber, but this time you’re the one who tries to fix it. You grab the wolf’s hand, keeping him in place, everyone else stops walking as well.

“You know I don’t believe what that mouse told me, right? I trust you, Taehyung. I know what kind of person you are, regardless of what hybrid species you belong to.”

“I just…I hate being feared. I hate it so much. I know I joke around but those are just jokes, I swear.” His voice is meek and broken.

You bring him into your embrace, “I know Tae, I know. I don’t fear you, though. You make me feel safe. That has to count for something, right?”

He pulls away from your embrace, big eyes staring into yours. “Really? I make you feel safe? You’re not just saying that?”

“I mean it.” That causes Taehyung to crack a small smile, along with the other five men. You continue your trail home, feeling Namjoon’s hand slowly pull you to the back of the group.

“Thank you for that y/n. I owe you one.”

Your bunny nose scrunches in confusion. “I did it for him. You don’t owe me anything.”

“I know, but as his Alpha I can’t help but feel grateful. Taehyung’s a great guy and all he wants is lots of friends. It’s always been hard to tell him he couldn’t talk to someone because of his species. And nothing I say can give him the affirmation a prey hybrid’s words can. Just this talk and the way you treat him has done a lot for his mental health.”

You take one of Namjoon’s hands into your own, giving it a reassuring squeeze before pulling away. Namjoon, however, takes your hand back into his, interlocking fingers with you the whole way back.

It’s when all of you are back under your own roof does the Alpha use his serious tone again, telling all of you to not mention any of today’s misfortunate events to Seokjin. “Jin hyung doesn’t show it, but I can tell that work is not going well for him right now. If he finds out about Jimin and Taehyung, the stress will really be too much for him.”

You all nod earnestly.

So when Seokjin does come back, everyone greets him with bright smiles and enthusiastic conversation. The park trip is mentioned, but only up to the part before it all went downhill. You see what Namjoon is talking about when you look at your caretaker’s drained visage. He might be smiling and joking around, but the traces of burn-out are more than evident.

“Y/n,” Namjoon comes over and pokes, “can you sleep with the dog hybrids tonight? I think Jin hyung needs me.” You nod, ready to do anything to help. Jungkook steals you away after, complaining that you hardly ever cuddle with him.

“I’m glad Namjoon’s going to talk to Jin tonight. He does look tired.” You mention as the beta wolf wraps himself around you on the couch.

“Yeah, talk.” Jungkook snorts, amused at your naivety.

You’re too oblivious to ask further.

“Hey bun, thanks for what you said to Tae hyung earlier.”

“You’re the second wolf who’s thanked me for that today.”

He smiles, “We’re just really protective of him. Hobi hyung isn’t lying when he says he’s the nicest wolf hybrid you’ll ever meet.”

“You’re pretty sweet yourself, Kook” you nudge his side with your elbow. He pulls you in closer, fingers tracing shapes on your floppy ears. It’s not long before his relaxing movements lull you into sleep. The wolf delicately carries you to the dog hybrids’ room and tucks you in; Jimin and Hobi do well to not make any sound that could wake you up, sliding carefully under the covers and sharing your warmth.

___

Namjoon lays on his hyung’s bed, on his back with legs spread open—cock standing tall and pretty against his stomach. Only thing he has on is what Seokjin’s allowed him to wear: his collar and leash. Jin tugs the leash to make the younger man look at him properly, the two exchanging long looks of adoration. Never in his wildest dreams did the Alpha think he would let someone take control of him in such a way, but that all changed when he opened his heart to Seokjin. As much as he’s a natural leader and loves to dom the other hybrids, it would be a lie to say that always being the decision-maker didn’t take a toll on the wolf. Jin, on the other hand, never much gets to be the decision-maker in his life; constantly being pushed aside and ordered around at the law firm. But here, with his beloved Alpha hybrid, is the one place he can take full rein.

“What a needy little wolf,” Seokjin muses while taking in the sight, “your hole is twitching baby. Does it want me inside that bad?”

Namjoon whines, feeling needier by the second. The Alpha gasps at the feeling of Jin’s finger entering his puckered rim, the cool, lube-covered digit making him squirm. The second finger has him arching his back, making Seokjin chuckle at the desperate sight.

“Need m-more hyung…cock…please”

“Just my fingers have you unable to talk in full sentences, but you’re still asking for my cock?”

Namjoon’s eyes widen at the feeling of Jin’s fat tip prodding at his hole. The older man takes his time, pushing in slowly while memorizing the younger’s face every second he’s plunged deeper into him, occasionally tugging the leash as well. It’s when Jin touches that special spot inside of him do Namjoon’s lips let out their first moan of the night. Once he’s bottomed out, Jin begins moving at a torturously slow pace.

“Hyung! Stop—ngh—teasing please! Can’t take it.”

“Alright, alright. I’ll give it to you like you need baby.” And with that, Seokjin starts thrusting at a brutal pace, mercilessly pounding into his lover’s tight hole. It’s not long before the wolf’s whole body starts shaking into a violent orgasm, topped with tears of pleasure running down his face. A couple more sloppy thrusts and Seokjin is pouring his seed inside as well. Before he can even catch his breath, Namjoon feels a firm grasp on his cock, causing him to yelp.

“T-too much! Hurts!”

“Safe word?”

He shakes his head, “No, keep going!”

Seokjin laughs, loving the painslut he has on his hands. He works the Alpha’s cock over with expert fingers, alternating between stroking the middle, swiping over the tip, and squeezing the base. Ever the gentlemen, Jin does well to not neglect the balls either— going down to cup them firmly every minute or two. His free hand grips the man’s thigh, digging his fingernails into the hybrid’s toned flesh. The pain on his thighs mixed with the pleasure on his cock forces another orgasm out of the wolf, causing white ropes to shoot all over his own stomach. Jin stands back to admire the sight—his big bad Alpha, covered in and dripping cum. After changing the sheets and a hot shower for two, the men snuggle up against each other to turn in for the night.

“I know things are hard at work. I can read you hyung.”

“I know you can baby. I just don’t want to bring my problems home. Home is for forgetting about work and focusing on my amazing hybrids.” He emphasizes with a kiss to the wolf’s temple.

“Whatever’s going on, you’ll get through it. You always do.”

“Thank you Joonie.”

“Goodnight hyung.”

“Goodnight baby.”

____

A/N: Thank y’all for being patient! My health and assignments made this part take a little while longer to post, but I hope it’s to your liking <3 Your comments and reblogs help a lot! Spoiler for Part 5: Y/n goes into heat ;)

Taglist: @osakis-gf @strawberrysweetness @yoongiigolden @welcometomyworld13 @xjiminsthighsx @btsiguess-kpop @kirakombat @iheartsvt @pb-n-juju @shabbamadapot @bxcndd @se-oul @mageprincess7

**It won’t let me tag some blogs, idk why. If you asked to be on the taglist but tumblr won’t let me tag you then I will be DMing you when each part is up!

#bts hybrid au #bts hybrid x reader #poly ot7 #ot7 x reader #hybrid jungkook #hybrid jimin #hybrid taehyung #hybrid yoongi #hybrid hoseok #hybrid namjoon #caretaker seokjin #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst

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muns-quinn · 3 months

Text

Moth to a Flame

Life After Dark part two - part one here

Eddie Munson x Harrington!reader

WARNINGS: SMUT 18+ ONLY MINORS DNI, unprotected p in v (wrap before you tap), drugs, language, drug dealing, alcohol

A/N: This one’s shorter than the last one but it’s going to pick up from here, I’ve got some tricks up my sleeeeeve for you all to enjoy! I honestly really enjoy this series so far and I don’t see an end in sight so I hope that you all enjoy it just as much, if not more. This one also jumps around a little so I’m sorry if it doesn’t make sense!

Taglist: @bebe07011 @rogerfxckingtaylor

Playlist I made writing this

You weren’t quite too sure of what you expected to happen between you and Eddie after really getting to know each other the other day. There wasn’t much of a change, you continued to ignore each other for the most part besides the occasional eye contact that held the secret you couldn’t forget.

Did he regret it? Was it disappointing? Did you ruin the new friendship that blossomed between you two? So many questions and zero answers. Your stomach turns at the thought of him letting it slip to Steve, maybe that’s why he hadn’t made an attempt to bother talking to you.

You suck in a deep breath as you fight your thoughts, you knew you shouldn’t have gotten too invested into him but you couldn’t help it. He was easy to open up to and it seemed like he cared in the moment but maybe he didn’t care at all. You were stuck in the continuous cycle of wondering what happened but not caring because you were just friends.

“You look distracted, you alright?” Robin points out in the living room, taking a swig of her drink.

“Yeah! Yeah I’m fine, it was just a long day.” You smile, taking a drink out of your cup.

Eddie’s eyes fixate on your face and you look away from him so he couldn’t read you like a book. You wanted to enjoy the time you and Steve had with your friends before your parents arrive home the next day so you push your feelings and thoughts to the back of your mind to deal with later.

Everyone laughed and joked around while drinking their beverages and eating slices of pizza that you had ordered, taking advantage of the night before everything goes to shit again. It was nice to have a distraction and to be able to enjoy yourself without a care in the world.

You excused yourself to your room once you grew more and more tired as the night progressed. You open your door and climb into bed, turning off the lamp that lit your room. You spent all day making sure the entire house was spotless before your parents made it home and you knew that you’d have to spend the entire morning cleaning again. Dread of what’s to come within the next few days fuels your body, your parents were insanely tense any time they’d come home from a work trip. Your eyes flutter shut, peace coming over your body as you drift off to sleep.

You wake up to your alarm clock blaring in your ear and the sun barely peeking through your curtains. You frantically try to turn it off, unable to find the button so instead you unplugged it from your wall. You stretch and rub your eyes to force yourself awake for the time being. You use the bathroom and brush your teeth, meeting Steve and Nancy in the hallway as the three of you walk downstairs. While they and Robin slide their shoes on, you begin to pick up around the kitchen and the living room. Once they had left to take Nancy back home and for Steve and Robin to go into work, it was only you, Dustin, and Eddie left in the house.

You tried not to make a ton of noise as they slept on the sofa and floor but you knocked over a broom. You cursed yourself under your breath as you hear one of them scurry. You peak into the living room and see Eddie’s head raise up, his eyes barely open enough to see what the sound was. You mouth ‘sorry’ to him and he lays back down. You continue to clean around the house being as quiet as you possibly can for an hour.

“Can you keep it down?” Dustin asks with a huff, you roll your eyes.

“It’s 8:05, you guys have to leave before my parents get home anyway. You can thank me later.” You state, tossing forks in the sink.

“You’re just as bitchy as Steve is in the morning.” Dustin grumbled, lifting himself off of the floor.

“Don’t talk to her like that.” Eddie corrects Dustin, hitting him in the arm.

Dustin was never a morning person and neither was Eddie, but Eddie wouldn’t allow him to speak to any woman in the time he just used with you. Dustin gives a quiet ‘Jesus Christ’ and rubs the spot on his arm that was hit.

“Sorry.” Dustin mumbled.

Considering that they were still practically asleep, they weren’t near as talkative as usual. Eddie stands and shakes his head, fixing his hair with his fingers and puts on his shoes. Dustin didn’t bother putting on his shoes, he just carried them in his hands out to Eddie’s van. Eddie gives you a slight smile and walks outside to the van to take Dustin back home.

Not a hi, good morning, thanks for letting us sleep in. Just a smile and that was it. You were getting used to him not quite thanking you but the tension was throwing you off. You shake it off and continue to clean around to make everything spotless once again.

Your parents had arrived shortly after, looking around the house to find something that was out of place or broken to give you and Steve shit about, but everything was in order. You noticed that they hadn’t brought their bags in yet but you kept your hair over your shoulders to hide what was left of the hickey so they wouldn’t find out.

Although you were 18, they still looked at you as if you were a child. You had to keep everything at bay for a few more months until you were able to graduate and head off to college. Once they had seen that everything was the way they left it, you went up to your room. You lay in your bed watching reruns of Alf. Sure it was supposed to be geared more towards the younger audience but you were sucker for cute shows like that.

About two hours into the reruns, your phone rings suddenly. You were unsure as to who could possibly be calling you, you weren’t really sure who even had your number, but nonetheless you answered.

“Hello?” You answer, bringing the phone to your ear.

“Hi, is this Y/N Harrington?” The person on the other line asks.

“Yes..?”

“Hi, this is Bradley with admissions for California Institute of the Arts! I’m reaching out to touch bases with you concerning your application.” The man introduces, you immediately sit up straight.

“Yes, hi!” You smile, your full attention being on the phone, quickly turning off your tv.

“Hello! So we have receive your application for a BFA in Acting, is that correct?”

“Yes sir, that’s correct.”

“Perfect. So far everything looks great with your test scores, your gpa, your grades, everything. Of course it’s hard to tell if you will be accepted just because we don’t have your final grades just yet, but as of now you’re on our waitlist.”

You had applied to tons of different schools around the country, most being far far away from Hawkins and only one or two being in Indiana.

“Okay, so what are my steps for right now?” You question.

“The first steps would be getting you in for a campus tour if you wanted to take a look around before possibly attending in the fall, then we would need a few recommendation letters. Ideally the reference letters would be from your teachers, guidance counselors, anyone you’ve done volunteer work for or extracurriculars.” He explains and you take notes on the sheet of paper that laid on your bedside table.

Those recommendation letters should be relatively easy to get, especially since you would go back to school in a few days from your spring break.

“Bring your parents to the tour as well! I’m sure they would want to take a look around and get familiar with the campus too.” He offers, that would be something that you weren’t going to do.

“Uh, yeah, thanks.” You smile.

“Of course! We will see you soon!” He cheers before telling you goodbye.

You put the phone back to its appropriate location and take a look at everything you had written down on that sheet of paper.

Take a tour, get references, submit final grades. Your parents hadn’t even found out that you began to apply to colleges yet and you didn’t plan on them finding out anytime soon. They had their plans for you after you graduated, they wanted you to be a part of the family business and live your life doing a 9-5. You had your own goals and dreams for yourself and their dream for you didn’t line up with yours at all.

The phone rang shortly again and you immediately picked it up, expecting it to be another school.

“Hello?” You immediately say.

“You didn’t think I wouldn’t not call, would you?”

The butterflies in your stomach began to flutter as you immediately recognized the voice on the other end of the line. Excitement and also confusion began to circle around in your mind.

“I’m sorry, I can’t say I’m too sure who this is.” You playfully sigh, sinking your back into your bed.

“I’m surprised considering how many times you said my name over and over the other night.” He snickers, your face flooded red immediately.

“I’m surprised that you remembered I exist considering how you hadn’t talked to me.” You tease back, some playfulness and truthfulness both in the statement.

“Well I know you didn’t want anyone to suspect anything and I didn’t wanna make matters worse for you.” Eddie explains, he was just being considerate.

Your door swings open and you immediately stop talking to Eddie for a moment. You see your dad standing in your doorway, you give him a puzzled glance.

“Who are you talking to?” Your dad asks suddenly, almost like he wanted to say something else.

“Madison.” You state. “Can I help you?”

You hear Eddie mocking your dad’s voice quietly on the other line, you had to contain your smile so your dad wouldn’t think anything different.

“Never mind.” He says in a short temperamental tone.

He walks down stairs and doesn’t bother closing your door. You irritably close your door, hopping back onto your bed and bringing the phone back to your ear.

“Sorry about that.” You huff and roll your eyes.

“So now I’m Madison?” Eddie questions, making you chuckle to lighten the mood. “Well I was going to invite you over later but it seems like mommy and daddy wouldn’t want you out of the house.”

“Yeah.” You frown, running your hands through your hair.

You talk for a while, catching up on not being able to talk for the past few days while your friends were constantly over. You spent the rest of your day minding your business and keeping yourself occupied in your bedroom.

6:03 am

Your alarm clock wakes you up by screaming in your ears, you let out a groan and fumbled around with the clock to turn it off. You stretch and push your blankets to the side and crawl out of bed to get ready for the day.

You throw on a long sleeve shirt and a pair of jeans, teasing and brushing out your long hair before putting on a bit of makeup. Once you were done getting ready, Steve knocks on your bedroom door to let you know that you needed to get going. The lack of sleep you got during your spring break caught up to you, it felt like a chore to keep your eyes open during the drive to school.

“Hope you all studied over your break.” Your chemistry teacher announces once you walk into the doors, numerous sighs or groans were heard from the students.

The test was relatively easy since you remembered the majority of the material, you weren’t a big fan of chemistry but the math parts were the easiest for you. You turn in your test along with other students and you decided to read to occupy yourself while others finished the test.

After class had finished, you talked to your teacher about a possible recommendation letter and he obliged. He told you to come back after your last class to collect it.

The rest of the school day was a blur, most of your classes were filled with games to pass the time since you had just came back from spring break. An announcement was made over the intercom for the seniors to head to the gym to sign up for graduation. You joined the long line of students and wait to sign your name.

“Well hey they stranger.” You hear from behind you, you turn around and see Eddie.

“Finally signing your name?” You smile and he nodded.

“For the first and last time.” He chuckled.

The line moved pretty fast, soon enough you were to the front. Your finger scrolls down the page and you spot your lash name followed by your first name. The requirement for graduation box had been checked and you signed your name beside it immediately. They handed you a form for your cap and gown size information to be filled out and handed in. You walk over to the next table to fill out the form and you hand it to the lady. Eddie’s excitement wasn’t held back when he finally met all of the requirements himself to graduate.

You opted into walking home after you had gotten your letter. It was easier to walk when the sun was out and it wasn’t raining. You reach your house and walk into the front door, your parents were both home and were bickering like usual. You walk upstairs, avoiding the tension for as long as you could. You place your backpack beside your desk and pull out your notebook and textbooks, studying for the upcoming finals that you had on your plate. A few hours had passed and you hear your mom calling you for dinner, you weren’t too fond of it already just by the smell.

Steve walks through the front door still in his uniform, you both lock eyes and mutually agree that you’d be walking on eggshells for the next few days. You both take a seat beside one another at the dinning room table while waiting for your parents in silence. Eventually your dad joins you and your mom brings out a cheddar broccoli casserole, the dish that you and Steve had grown to hate because she’d make it so often.

Reluctantly you scoop some of it out into your plate as does everyone else. There was more tension in the air than normal and everyone was quiet, the only thing that you could hear was the sound of your fork clinking against the glass plate. Your mom clears her throat and looks at your dad, Steve was the only one to speak up.

“What?” He asks, placing his fork down onto the table.

“While your father and I were away this week for that meeting, he got some news.” Your mom mentions, looking over at him. “Go ahead, tell them.”

“I was offered the CEO position that they had available in Chicago.” He explains. “Which would mean that we would be moving.”

Your heart drops at the sudden news. Of course you’d move right before graduation and you’d have to leave all of your friends, even Eddie. Jesus, not Eddie.

“I’m sorry, we?” You ask, Steve nodded as he agreed with your question.

“Your mother and I. We’ve decided that since the two of you are adults, we’re leaving you all with the house.” Your dad mentions which took you and Steve both by surprise.

There was no way in hell they’d actually do that, right? After making your lives a miserable disaster, they would leave you all the house? There’s got to be some sort of catch.

“One condition though, all of the bills are your responsibility. Water, electric, everything. The only thing we will take care of is the mortgage but you still have to pay us something towards that.”

There it is.

“When is this all of this taken into effect?” Steve perks up, a hint of glimmer in his eye.

“I start on Wednesday, we already have the house in order but obviously we would want to get familiar with the area before then.” He continues. “Our bags are already there, some furniture, groceries. We would be leaving tonight.”

Your mom was quiet as she stared at you, silently begging for you to say something, anything.

“Tonight.” You verify and they shake their heads. “Okay.”

Dinner had been finished and all of the dishes had been put away into the sink. It was beginning to get later into the evening and they still had a 3 and a half hour drive to do before it got too dark. They had decided to leave the current furniture at the house for the two of you so you wouldn’t have an empty home. They emptied all of their drawers and closets, tossing things in luggage bags and stuffed the car as full as they could.

“Make sure the house doesn’t get burned down.” Your mom smiles a genuine smile. Maybe the move would be good for everyone involved.

“Steve? Come here for a moment, I need to give you something.” Your dad pulls Steve to the side.

You couldn’t remember the last time your dad called Steve by his name without irritation behind it. They seemed a little too excited to move but you wouldn’t question it. Your mom pulls you to the side as well, embracing you in a hug.

“Take this.” She whispers, handing an envelope to you in secrecy. “Your dad doesn’t know I’m giving you this. You’ll need it.”

You thank her and skip the envelope into your back pocket. Your mom and Steve say their goodbyes while you and your dad said your own. They soon get into the car and wave to you both before driving away.

You and Steve stood in the front yard alone and confused.

“What the hell was that?” Your brother blurts out as you both question reality. “Did that really just happen?”

You pull out the envelope from your pocket once you see Steve holding his. You shared a looked before opening it cautiously, nervous that there would be a letter saying that it was a test or a joke. Your eyebrows furrow at the item in the envelope, Steve’s does as well. You pull out the item and see that it was a ton of money, more than you’d ever had for yourself. $12,500 sat comfortably in your palm while another $12,500 was held in Steve’s hand.

You both nearly guaranteed that they were actually running because of them doing some sketchy shit but there was one thing that stayed on your mind. Freedom.

You look at each other and laugh at your shared emotions, you shake your head while walking up the front steps. Steve holds his middle fingers up in the air while walking backwards. You walk into your house and Steve follows. It was your house. Nobody constantly breathing down your necks, no parents to tend to, just the two of you in your own home. Steve ran around with excitement like a child being left at home alone for the first time, you immediately knew you had to move bedrooms.

“What are you going to do with your money?” He ask you, pulling on a jacket.

“I’m getting a car, are you kidding?” You beam. “Where are you going?”

“To catch Nancy and let her know!” He shouts obviously with that excitement tone. “You okay with walking to the dealership?”

You nodded and he bolted out of the door and to his car. You watched him back out of the driveway and once he was gone, you rush to claim your territory in the master bedroom that was now once your parents’ room. You knew he would be gone for quite some time and you refused to sleep on the same mattress that they did because you weren’t sure of what went down in there. The thought made you immediately cringe.

“You busy?” You speak quickly into the phone.

“Not at this moment, why?” Eddie answered.

“I need your help, come over asap!” That was all you said and you hung up the phone.

You glanced around your now old room to determine what needed to be moved first. You didn’t realize how much stuff you had until you actually began packing things downstairs.

Shortly after the first few loads of things being moved from your room, Eddie walks inside of your home and calls out your name.

“Up here!” You shout in response, he rushes upstairs and sees your completely destroyed room.

“What happened? You alright?” He asks, worry written on his face.

“Yeah, just need your help moving some of this stuff downstairs.” You exhale, lifting a heavy box in your arms. He was incredibly confused.

“You Harrington’s really know how to worry someone.” He gripes. “Why downstairs?”

“Well mom and dad moved and gave us the house.”

“Bullshit, you’re lying!” Eddie exclaimed, you smile and shake your head.

“Nope.” You replied, popping the ‘p’ at the end of your word. “So I’m taking their room.”

He didn’t think twice, he immediately picked up some of your belongings and followed you into the bedroom downstairs. His mouth dropped at how big the master bedroom was and he was shocked to see that there was a bathroom attached inside. He assisted with helping you for an hour and a half, ensuring that all of your belongings were in the room and your bathroom.

“So no more sneaking around?” He snickered, walking close to you.

“Well Steve still lives here so.” You chuckle. “You feel like helping me with a few other things?”

“Like what?”

“A new mattress and a car.” You grin.

“What’d they do, leave you a fortune?” He quizzed in a joking manner but his face drops when he sees the envelope. “Damn, they actually did. Alright, let’s go get what you need.”

You lock the front door behind you and Eddie as you walk out into the van. He takes off into town to your first spot of the day, the mattress store.

It was only 6:30 so you had plenty of time to get what you needed before Steve would get back home. It still didn’t feel real, neither you sleeping with Eddie or your parents giving you and Steve the house so suddenly with no questions really asked, you were happy though.

You tested out every mattress to see which one was the best option for you, Eddie even helped test out different ones as well. You made your decision and bought one, you and Eddie had to shove it in the van the easiest way you could. Once that had been taken care of, you were off to your second destination, the car lot.

You knew absolutely nothing about cars. As long as it had 4 wheels and could move, you were sold. You didn’t know what you were looking for, didn’t know specifics that you did and didn’t need, but luckily Eddie could help you out.

“Oooh that one’s nice!” Eddie coos as he looks around at the different vehicle options. “Two or four door?”

“Preferably four but I’m not too picky.” You shrug. “Ooooh look at that one!”

The two of you walk over to the red car that spotted your eye, you see a twinge in his eye. He locks eyes with you and makes a face.

“What was that for?” You ask him.

“That’s practically the same car as Hargrove.” He points out.

“Oh, I’m gonna pass.” You declined, moving on to the other vehicles.

There were many cars that you thought were pretty but one caught your eye. You walked closer to it as Eddie followed, he gives you a smile. You settled on a 1980 Mercedes-Benz 380SL and Eddie knew immediately.

“This one it?” He asks and you nod.

“This one’s it.”

After test driving it around for a while you decided that it was yours. You filled out all of the paperwork, had insurance put onto it, and you were finally able to take it home. You got behind the wheel and started it, beaming from ear to ear while you turn the radio on and begin to drive down the road. Eddie drives behind you through town and all the way to your home. What started as a shitty and stressful day turned out to be one of the best days you’ve ever had.

“You sure you’ve got it?” Eddie asks as you push the old mattress out of the house.

“Yep, you just work on getting that one.” You order and he obliged.

Once the old mattress was thrown out and the other one laid on your bed, you began to organize around your room. You and Eddie work on putting your belonging in their designated places for a few hours while music plays in the background. He kept making trips back and forth from the bathroom for you, putting different makeup items in different drawers followed by your body washes and shampoos and conditioners.

He thought he had a lot of stuff but he quickly learned that you had more. You place dirty clothes in your hamper so you could wash them and you pick up Eddie’s shirt that you had worn a few days prior. He hadn’t noticed it but you decided to wash it so he’d have a scent of you once he got it back.

You hear Steve’s car in the driveway and announce it to Eddie, who was still in your room, he quickly comes into the living room and sits on the couch. You sit on the living room floor in front of the couch while folding some of the clean clothes you just pulled out from the dryer.

Steve and Nancy walk through the door together with smiles on their face and Steve stops at the front door, seeing you and Eddie alone once again.

“How is it that recently I come home and you two are alone?” Steve asks with suspicion in his voice.

“He was just waiting for you.” You shrug, continuing to fold your clothes. “Did you check out the car?”

“Uh..yeah.” Steve nods, not an ounce of suspicion leaving his tone.

“Seems like you’ve got plans tonight Steve.” Eddie smiles, getting off of the couch. “I’ll head out.”

They say goodbye and Eddie leaves the house, leaving you with Steve and Nancy. Steve had a feeling that there was something going on between you and Eddie but Nancy stood up for you. Little did she know.

“Nu-uh, nope!” Steve shouts from the other end of the house, walking into the living room with his hands over his chest.

“What?”

“You aren’t getting the master room. Did already change the mattress?” He argues.

“Yes and yes.” You nod, picking up the basket of clothes. “My stuff’s already in there and it’s not moving.”

You move past him and down the hall into the master bedroom, placing the basket on the floor.

“I’m older.”

“I’ve had the smallest room for my entire life, I’m keeping it.” You state bluntly.

You both had a stare-off and you weren’t backing down. You knew how to crack him and he knew it too by the way he sighed.

“Fine, but you’re paying more on the rent.” He approaches and you smile. “That means getting a job like the rest of us.”

“I knew I’d make you crack.” You laugh and he rolls his eyes, exiting out of your room.

His statement sinks in. You didn’t mind getting a job but you knew it would be hard to work in order to get enough for rent and maintain your good grades. Just like anything else though, you would figure it out on your own.

After putting away your clean clothes, you sink into your new bed and curl into your blankets as you drift off to sleep.

You wonder the school halls the next day during your study period and you spot the billboard that holds different job openings in the city. There weren’t many options, especially ones that interest you, but you wrote down the different companies and their contact information regardless.

“You’re getting a job?” Eddie asks from behind you.

“Why are you always sneaking up on me?” You chuckle. “But to answer your question, yes. Steve and I kind of made a deal that I keep the room if I pay more in rent.”

“Well to answer your question, you’re just easy to sneak up on.” He laughed and you punch him lightly in the chest. “I see that you’re wanting to work for the man, troublesome companies that prey on their employees.”

“Don’t see any other option.” You shrug as you look up at him.

“I may have an option.” He suggests, piquing your interest. “But it’ll have to wait until later. Can’t say right here.”

The two of you make a plan to meet up at your house after school, partially to spend time together but also to hear what this elaborate idea of his would be. He’s a man of many wonders do it would be hard to tell 100 percent of what his idea is.

The final bell of the day rang and you walk out to your car, Dustin stands there waiting on you like a personal chauffeur.

“May I help you?” You ask, approaching your vehicle with your keys in your hand.

“Eddie cancelled Hellfire tonight for some reason and I’m without a ride.” He smiles annoyingly. “May I?”

“Can’t you get a ride from him yourself?” You ask, he shakes his head.

“He’s already left.”

It was incredibly unheard of that Eddie would cancel Hellfire. He didn’t even cancel when he broke his arm last year, if anything it made his character more vile and intense. Surely to God he didn’t cancel it just for you.

You motion for Dustin to get in the passengers seat, while he makes himself comfortable you toss your backpack in the back and climb into the driver’s seat. He gives you the look of please don’t kill us which made you laugh as you start the car and begin driving down the street.

“So how come he cancelled?” You question as you keep your eyes on the road.

“He just said he had to talk to someone about something. Incredibly vague, but I think it’s a girl if you ask me.” Dustin mentioned.

“Why do you say that?”

He shrugs, that was his only answer.

You soon drop him off at his house and make your way to your own home, Eddie was already parked in your driveway and waiting on you. You give him a slight glare and he smiles.

“You cancelled Hellfire?” Was the first thing out of your mouth. “Are you sick or something?”

“Well no, but you wanted to hear my idea, correct?” Eddie verified as you unlock the door.

“Mhm.”

“Then don’t question it.”

You didn’t question it, you just decided to head into your room and sit on your bed, inviting Eddie to do the same. He joins you and fills your space, a comforting silence hangs in the air.

“So tell me all about this brilliant idea you have.” You urge.

“Well that’s the thing, I don’t quite know if you’ll be up for it.” He spoke truthfully, you give him a look to continue. “I have this friend who’s been looking for more people to help get his product out.”

“Product?”

“Yeah. Y’know, weed, ecstasy, special k, all of that.”

Shit, you were in too deep.

“Like a mule?”

“Sure, if that makes more sense to you.” He mumbles. “Like I said, I don’t know if you’ll be up for it. If not, I completely understand, but it’s always an option.”

You were stuck between giving up your room including everything you just moved into it and becoming a dealer your own. It was an extremely tough choice but you couldn’t forget what Eddie told you the other day, live a little.

“I don’t want you to feel pressured in any way.” He sympathizes. “There are risks involved. If you choose not to, that’s fine. If you choose to accept those risks, I’ll be there every step of the way.”

You weighed out every option and their possibilities.

“You’re a bad influence.” You snicker, a smile lightly lighting up his face. “Flexibility?”

“Extremely flexible. You can still focus on your studying and your volunteering.” Eddie grinned.

“Then what are we waiting for?” You abruptly respond, taking him aback.

By the way he reacted you could tell that he had expected you to take the easiest and safest option. It’s only been a day since your parents had moved out and you had already agreed without hesitation to be a drug dealer just so you could keep your room. He was a bad influence alright but you couldn’t stay away from him even if you tried.

He offered to introduce you to who you’d be working for so you wouldn’t go into it completely blind. He warned you that it would be quite a while do you knew that you had to make up a story to Steve if he wondered where you were. You knew that you’d be home a lot later so you wrote a note.

Going out for a bit with Elaine, might be back later - Y/N

You hang the note on the fridge and grab your keys and your jacket. Here goes nothing.

You meet Eddie at his trailer, trying to avoid any suspicion of absolutely anything. At first it was you just hiding true fact that you and Eddie were spending a lot of time together and now you’re hiding the fact that you’re joining Eddie in an extracurricular that you’d never even attempted to be apart of. Max hadn’t seen your new car yet so hopefully she was just assume that someone was visiting them from out of town.

You bolted into Eddie’s van and he peels out of the gravel driveway. You were confident at first but now since you’re actually on your way to meeting whoever the hell it was, your nerves were beginning to eat at you. Eddie had noticed because you had gotten pale and shaking your leg at a thousand miles a minute.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” He reassures, glancing over at you from the road.

“No, I want to.” You breathe. “Just new, makes me a little nervous.”

“I was the same way when I first started.” He smiles. “Didn’t know what to expect, didn’t want to get hurt or caught. But now it’s second nature and it’s easy.”

His words made you ease up from the tension you felt. It was new but riding a bike was once new before. You may have had to start out with training wheels like now but you could ride without them eventually.

Eddie pulls into a house in the middle of nowhere. It looks dull and dark, you hesitate to even get out of the van but you pushed yourself. You and Eddie walk into the door, you felt so small as you walk inside. Just like the outside, the inside was just as dull and dark. The smell was something you’ve never experienced, the only scent you could really point out was weed.

“Rick this is Y/N, Y/N this is Rick.” Eddie introduces once he spots the man in the kitchen.

Rick turns around and looks you up and down before looking at Eddie, giving him a look of are you a fucking idiot? You were quickly second guessing your decision as you wanted to crawl out of your own skin.

“She’s fine, man. Relax.” Eddie assures.

“Girlfriend?” Rick’s rough voice echos through the kitchen.

“Close enough.” Eddie snickers, looking down at you.

“Ah so a fuck buddy.” Rick laughs. “Well it’s nice to meet you miss Y/N.”

“You too.” You smile, relaxing your body as you stand in front of the stranger.

“Did he give you the run down?”

“Not necessarily.”

“Eddie-” Rick huffs.

“I was getting there! I just didn’t wanna scare her off.” Eddie interrupts.

You swallow dryly. Rick walks down the hallway and motions for you two to follow right behind him. You walk behind Eddie into the bedroom. Rick turns on the light and reveals what he calls ‘the crafting room’, it was just a normal bedroom with drugs hidden in every single crevice imaginable in different objects.

“So this book right here are the orders.” Rick explains, showing you a book hidden on the bookshelf. “It has their alias’s, what they need, how much they have paid or owe.”

Eddie places his hand on his chin and one arm was over his chest as he watches you learn how Rick runs his business. He smiled proudly as you begin to catch on.

“Weed is just hidden in these pillows. Just unzip it and pull out the amount you need. Ecstasy under the mattress. Special K in the tins scattered around the house.” He points out, you nod as you understood. “You and Eddie here are responsible for running the orders and bringing the money back for your cut. He’ll show you how to do it so you’re as good as he is.”

You look over at Eddie and give him a polite smile.

“Think she’s ready?” Rick asks, snapping Eddie’s to him.

“I believe so.” He agrees, Rick smile as you.

“Well, get to writing down Eddie. You’ve got a long night ahead of you two.”

Eddie writes down the orders and amount in a discrete way, Rick hands the two of you the product in baggies. Eddie stuffs the bags in numerous pockets in his jacket, they both suggested that you put your baggies in your bra for the time being to conceal them to the best of your capabilities.

Shortly after, you and Eddie sit in his van to begin the deliveries. He double checked who got what as you shift uncomfortably in your seat from the bags poking your chest.

“I’ve got a few do’s and don’ts if you’re going to do this and one major rule.” He mentions, turning on the ignition and beginning to back out of the tiny driveway.

“I’m all ears.” You nod.

“Don’t ask people if they want to buy. If they’re in the book, they’re already customers. If things get out of hand, walk away. Usually things only get out of hand if they’re adamant that you stole their money. If any cops are around, just act casual. They usually won’t bother you unless you’re acting extremely suspicious.”

You take a mental note of everything he says.

“You’ll need your own alias, something that doesn’t give your actual name away.”

“Do you have one?” You investigate and he nodded.

“Blaine.”

“Blaine?”

“Yeah, Rick gave it to me ages ago. You seem like an Ember to me.” He chuckles and you smile.

“Blaine and Ember.” You announce. “I like it.”

He goes over a few more do’s and don’ts, you acknowledge each one.

“Your rule?”

“Don’t be alone with Rick.” He breathes, keeping his eyes on the road. “He’s a decent guy but he can get you into some shady situations if you aren’t careful.”

You look over at him without saying anything, he takes his eyes off of the road for just a moment to look at you.

“Got it?”

“Got it.”

You pull up to the first house of the night, it was a younger couple. Eddie invites you with him to their door and after your obvious hesitation you join him. His knuckles knock on the door and you both wait in anticipation, the man slightly older than Eddie answers.

“C’mon in.” He moves out of your way and you both step inside. “I see you brought your friend. Rick told me beforehand that I’d be expecting two of you.”

“This is Ember.” Eddie smiles, motioning towards you while his hands are in his pockets.

“Nice to meet you Ember, I’m Josh and this is Ashley.” Josh introduces himself and Ashley to you, she gives you a warm smile and a wave as she stands in the kitchen. “So, you got it?”

Eddie pulls the baggies from his pocket and puts into Josh’s hand. Josh doesn’t bother making sure it’s the right amount, he hands Eddie the cash and tosses the bag on his counter.

“You all hungry? I just finished dinner.” Ashley questions, Josh looks at you and Eddie.

“I’m okay, thank you though.” You decline politely, glancing at Eddie to see if you’d made the right choice.

“Eddie?”

You noticed the lack of his alias immediately but the use of yours. Eddie declined as well and said he’d already eaten. Truth be told, you were hungry but you didn’t trust them enough to eat their cooking. Eddie says goodbye to them and you do as well before getting back to the van.

“No alias?” Was the first thing out of your mouth.

“We’ve been friends for quite some time, even before I began working with Rick.” He explains, which made absolute sense. “I’m not going to throw you to the wolves with people you don’t know. So to them, you’re Ember.”

You made numerous stops, some at homes that you recognized and some in the middle of nowhere. Rick was right when he said that the two of you would have a long night, it was past midnight by the time you had made it back to base as Eddie calls Rick’s house.

“How’d she do?” Rick asks as soon as the two of you walk inside.

“Surprisingly well, she catches on fast.” Eddie smiles.

His words made it seem that he had sone doubt in you. Did it sting? A little. Was it understandable? Absolutely.

You and Eddie hand over the cash that you had collected together to Rick so he could count it out. It was well over $5,000, you and Eddie got $1,500 and Rick kept the remainder. Rick dismisses you both.

The clock in Eddie’s van read 2:54 am, your eyes had grown heavier with your exhaustion built up from the past few days. You reach the trailer park and get into your car so you could drive home, Eddie opted into following you so he could make sure you got home safe.

You finally reach your house, each step from the car to the front door made it feel like you were crawling. Eddie pulls into the driveway where Steve would normally be parked, you hadn’t noticed that he wasn’t home until Eddie’s van came to a stop.

You didn’t question him coming inside, it was usual at this point. You flick the light switch on to the kitchen, revealing something written on the note that you had made for Steve.

Won’t be home, got a motel room for me and Nance for our anniversary - Steve

They got a room on a Tuesday night? You couldn’t say much, you’ve visited tons of houses for a drug drop off and just now got home a little after 3:00.

“I’m taking a bath, need to wash away my sins.” You mumble tiredly with a snicker as Eddie roams through the fridge in search of food.

You walk into your bedroom and into the attached bathroom. You turn the faucet handles to your desired water temperature and add some lavender scented bubble bath soap. While the water fills the tub you strip out of your clothes and put your hair up so you wouldn’t get it wet. You sink into the tub when it was filled, sighing quietly to yourself as the warm water hugs your exhausted body.

You hear Eddie humming as he walks through your room, the creak of Eddie’s body laying gently on your bed was also audible. You lay in the tub comfortably until the water turns cold and your fingers are wrinkly. You pull yourself out and drain the tub, drying your body off with the clean town. You slide into a clean pair of underwear and throw on a shirt, taking your hair down before walking into your bedroom.

“Better?” Eddie smiles, turning his head towards you.

“Much.” You yawn, climbing into bed. “You staying?”

“Would you like me to?”

“Please.” You smile, laying your head on your pillow.

He slides under the blanket, his head sitting comfortably on the pillow beside yours. You both lay with each other, your tired eyes taking in his features as he holds you close to him, slowly drifting into a deep sleep.

Two hours later your alarm clock rings, jolting him awake. You immediately turn it off and cuddle into Eddie, he pauses for a moment before wrapping his arm around you.

“It’s so early.” You groan tiredly. “I’m not going to school, fuck that.”

“First drug deal last night and you’re already skipping school.” He mumbles with his eyes still closed. “Maybe I’m a bad influence on you.”

“‘m not complaining. Let’s get some more sleep.”

“Sounds great.”

A few hours later you wake up to the sound of Steve’s car pulling into the driveway, a sound that makes you shoot up out of your sleep and out of bed.

“Eddie, wake up!” You urge, shaking Eddie awake.

“What? What is it?” He asks with a concerned tone.

“Steve’s home!”

“Ah, shit!” He curses, immediately jumping out of bed.

You immediately jump into a pair of sweatpants as you push Eddie into your bathroom. You run into the kitchen and pull open the fridge but a knock at the door stops you. Steve never knocks, especially at his own house.

You walk to the front door and twist the knob, the mailman hands you a box. You sigh to yourself once you were back inside.

“False alarm, my bad!” You shout from the kitchen after you put the box on the table. “Hungry?”

“Starved.”

You make a few pieces of toast and some eggs, you plate the food and hand Eddie his while you sit down at the table. You eat in silence as you both were exhausted and were rudely woken up.

“Any plans for today?” You ask him, tossing the empty plates into the sink.

“Going over to Rick’s later to see if he needs any help.” He yawns. “Wanna come with?”

You nod as an agreement, he walks behind you and slaps your ass before walking back into your room. You cleaned what dishes were in the sink and made your way into your room to get ready for the day. Eddie reclines on your bed while you pull out a shirt and jeans to change into, watching your movements intently. You feel his eyes watching as your shirt hits the floor, exposing your tits to him.

“That’s a sight I’ll never get tired of.” He smirks as his eye fixate on your breasts.

“Is that so?” You grin, he nods.

You take off your sweatpants in a teasing manner and his reaction was priceless. Thanks to the sunlight beating through your window, he was finally able to see your body completely.

“God you’re so beautiful.” Eddie compliments, patting his lap as an invite for you. “Get over here.”

You follow his words and climb into his lap, his hands immediately find their way to your ass as he firmly placed his lips on yours. You kiss back the moment his lips land on yours, it was even more rough and needier than the other day.

His lips move from yours and trail down your neck, kissing the tender area and marking you. You grind down onto his lap, feeling his hardened cock from his sweatpants. Your sudden movement had make his grip on your ass tighten and it had you soaked.

“Can’t tease.” You whimper.

“You want my cock that bad?” He chuckled darkly and you immediately nod. “I think I’ll just sit back and let you ride then.”

Your absolute favorite position was being on top. You didn’t question it, you pulled him out of his boxers and he groans just at the touch of your hand gripping around him. You slide your panties to the side and sink down onto him, sucking in a breath as he stretches you out.

“Fuck, I don’t know if I’m gonna last.” He groans as you raise yourself up and take him in completely again.

Your cunt grips around him like a vice from this position, the movement of your hips had him hitting your g-spot immediately. Though you start off slow and easy, you began to pick up your pace with the help of Eddie’s hands on your hips.

“Oh my god.” You whine out, bouncing continuously on his cock.

You feel his cock deeply going in and out of you, you were already so cock drunk it was laughable, that’s exactly what Eddie did too. Once he sees your eyes roll to the back of your head, he began to mock you.

“My cock feel good, princess?” He teases. “Gonna cum already?”

“Mm- mhm!”

“Absolutely not.” He ordered as you continue to bounce. “Not until I say so.”

He only made matters worse by teasing you. You know you shouldn’t like it when he teases you but it was something about how the way he did it. He takes your speed into his own hands, he raises your hips and slams you down onto him, you scream out his name.

Your climax was already approaching quickly and he knew it, he wanted to push you as much as he could. You were a babbling mess in his lap, he was too much to handle.

“Shit, Eddie!” You scream.

“Talk to me baby, tell me what you need.” He coos, continuing to slam you onto him.

“Eddie I’m- oh!” You squeal, your juices flowing out of you and down his cock.

You didn’t know you had that talent and neither did Eddie but god did he love it. Watching squirt over him because of his cock being buried into you quickly tipped him over the edge. There was no time for him to pull out, he suddenly came to a halt and released himself into you with a curse under his breath. It all happened so fast, neither of you had expected it to end so quickly.

You hear the garage door open and a car pull inside will Eddie still being inside of you. You shared a look, knowing damn well that it wasn’t a false alarm that Steve was home.

There was absolutely no way you two would get out of this now.

#eddie munson #eddie munson smut #eddie st4 #eddie x reader #joseph quinn #stranger things #eddie x y/n #eddie munson x y/n

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nattikay · 11 months

Text

Jake is a Good Dad and I will Die On That Hill

Howdy Avatar fandom. Over the past six months or so I’ve seen a lot of criticism directed toward Jake Sully as a father, ranging from him simply being a little too strict at best, to outright neglectful and even abusive at worst. This, my friends, is some grade-A nonsense, and today we’re gonna talk about why. Strap in, lads, this is gonna be a long one. Let’s roll.

So before we get into breaking down the events of the main storyline, let’s address the idea that Jake was always the super-strict “military dad” throughout the kids’ lives: put simply, bullcrap.

Out of the film’s over-three-hour runtime, we get to see very little of the Sullies’ lives before the RDA’s return—only about six minutes’ worth. If Jake was meant to be this strict militaristic dictator during this time period, especially in a way that would significantly impact the kids’ character development and their relationships with him, this would be the time to show it, or at least hint at it. But instead of any of that, we really get quite the opposite. Jake laughs and plays with the kids:

Jokes around and cuddles:

Teaches Neteyam to fish:

He even says in his narration:

“Happiness is simple…whoever thought that a jarhead like me could’ve cracked the code?”

Guys, this is quite literally the best time of his life. This man absolutely adores his family with every fiber of his being, they are his whole world. Like, look at him! He has stars in his eyes!!

We have zero reason to suspect that Jake was overly harsh or strict in a way that would impede his relationship with his kids during this time. The Sullies appear to be a normal, healthy, close-knit family.

It’s only when the RDA returns and reignites war that things change.

I’ve seen some people claim that Jake’s personality changed it the second movie. I disagree—it was not his personality that changed, but rather his priorities.

A1 Jake was a disabled marine vet who was offered his brother’s contract after said brother was unexpectedly murdered by some thug on the street…and part of the reason he agreed to take that contract was that there really wasn’t much else left for him back on Earth, so why not go? A1 Jake had just about nothing left to lose, and therefore could afford to be more reckless.

A2 Jake, however, is another story altogether. A2 Jake can’t just run around poking and prodding and taking risks like A1 Jake did because now he has a wife and four children who rely on him and who he loves more than anything else in the world. It’s not just himself he has to look out for anymore, it’s them. He now has everything to lose. He says as much himself:

Not to mention that he’s older now. Did you really expect the 37-year-old father of four who’s been leading the clan for 15 years and is suddenly thrust back into a brutal war to behave exactly the same as the 22-year-old fish-out-of-water ex-marine sent to fill in for his scientist brother out of the sheer convenience of sharing a genome? A2 Jake’s behavior is not a sudden 180 from his personality in A1, it’s a natural progression and reaction for his character given the changed circumstances.

“A father protects. It’s what gives him meaning.”

This is essentially Jake’s thesis for the movie. This is his #1 priority, his purpose, the lens through which all his actions must be viewed in order to understand them, and it’s important to establish it upfront because it sets up everything else.

With that in mind, let’s take a look at the train raid sequence as its aftermath. Jake begrudgingly allows his now-teenage sons to participate in the war party—from a distance, as spotters. Neteyam seems content to fill this role, but Lo’ak, against orders, eagerly insists that they “have to get in there”, even goading his brother:

Tailed by an exasperated Neteyam, Lo’ak grabs a weapon from Tarsem and lets out a half-hearted warcry:

...let’s be honest here, Lo’ak doesn’t really seem to be taking this raid anywhere near as seriously as he should be; he’s treating it more like a game—on which point, y’know what, let’s pause to talk about Lo’ak for a moment.

Because the primary purpose of this post is defending Jake, it may at times appear that I am being overly critical towards Lo’ak. This is not my intention—I love Lo’ak as much as I love the rest of the Sully family (which is a lot lol). I think the things he struggles with are reasonable and valid struggles to have considering his circumstances. However, that does not always mean that he is in the “right”. Jake and Lo’ak’s conflict through the movie is not as simple as “son right dad wrong” or vice-versa; rather, it stems from a generational/age gap in experience and priorities.

In this case, for example, Lo’ak is treating the raid more like a cool action game than a real battle with real stakes. Which may not be much of a surprise—he’s 14! He’s young, he’s naive, he’s never experienced anything close to real war until the past year or so—he probably genuinely does not fully grasp the stakes of this situation just yet. And why should we expect him to, really? He’s never had to before.

Jake, on the other hand, knows the stakes all too well. This ain’t his first rodeo. He was a solider both on Earth (where he was injured severely enough to become paralyzed from the waist down) and then again on Pandora driving out the RDA in a battle that killed several of his friends and allies, including almost completely wiping out the entire Olangi clan.

Jake understands the risks of war and doesn’t want his kids anywhere near it. We see this not only in the film where he only allows Neteyam and Lo’ak to participate in the raid “from a distance” and ultimately fleeing his own clan altogether once his kids are directly threatened, but also in the comics in which he consistently turns down Neteyam’s pleadings to participate in the war efforts. Unfortunately for him, his sons do happen to be coming of age at around this time and there’s only so much he can do to keep them out of it, so he tries to let them participate in relatively safe ways, like as spotters.

Lo’ak…doesn’t understand this. Not really. And that leads to him recklessly taking unnecessary risks—be it out of curiosity, to get in on the action, or even simply to prove himself. Which understandably scares the crap out of Jake.

When the raid is over, Jake desperately searches the rubble for his sons. He finds Lo’ak quickly and makes sure he’s alright:

…before taking off to search for Neteyam, who he also promptly checks over for injuries.

which is something I’d like to point out here: although Jake sometimes gets gruff with his sons, he never leads with that. He always always always makes sure they’re ok first. That’s important. We’ll come back to it throughout the post.

Anyways, it’s only after making sure that Neteyam is ok that Jake’s initial bout of fear subsides and morphs into frustration and anger: what were you thinking?! And it’s a fair question. If the boys had followed orders, they wouldn’t have been at such risk in the first place. Once the party returns to High Camp, Jake addresses this point with them, reminding them that by disobeying direct orders they put themselves in very serious danger, and reiterating to Lo’ak in particular that his recklessness nearly got his brother killed and grounding him.

In other words, Jake’s response to his sons going against his orders was…a lecture and a grounding. That’s…a pretty reasonable parental reaction, actually. Sure, you could nitpick and say his tone was too harsh, but given the situation, I struggle to blame him…

…which leads into the next relevant scene: while Mo’at and Kiri tend to Neteyam’s scratches, Neytiri gently chides Jake for being too hard on the boys, concluding with the infamous line: “This is not a squad. It is a family.”

Now, what I find interesting about this scene is that neither party is really in the wrong here. Jake is doing his best to fill his role as a father by watching out for his kids’ physical safety—even if it means being a little strict. Likewise, Neytiri is filling her role as a mother by looking out for her kids’ emotional well-being. As she should!

That said, I think people who use this line as proof of Jake’s supposed parental failure are forgetting the context. While Neytiri’s line is true in general, when the boys sign up to participate in a war party, they kinda do become a “squad”. In that moment, in that context, they are a squad, they have to behave like one lest someone gets hurt if not killed.

I also think they forget Jake’s reaction to Neytiri’s line:

Look closely. There are tears in his eyes. This dude was terrified of the possibility that he may have just lost one of his sons in the raid, and all his strictness stems from that. And Neytiri seems to recognize this as well, as she can’t seem to decide how to respond. She probably worries about the same thing, after all, even if she handles it differently.

On that note, let’s look at the next time Lo’ak disobeys instructions: going to the old shack with Spider, Kiri, and Tuk, where they first encounter the recom unit.

Something interesting about the aftermath of the recom rescue is that no one gets lectured this time actually. Remember what I said about how, no matter how upset he is, Jake always checks to make sure the kids are ok first and foremost? Sure enough, that’s what he does here:

Not only for his daughters, mind you, but also both his sons (we’ll address the daughter-favoritism claims later):

With the recoms now targeting the Sully family specifically, Jake, feeling out of other options, makes the difficult decision to flee and find refuge among the Metkayina clan.

whoops, there’s that “protection” theme again

When their request for sanctuary is somewhat reluctantly accepted, Jake calls a family meeting and tells the kids this:

Remember how earlier we established how “a father protects” is essentially Jake’s thesis for this movie? Well, this is an offshoot of that: Jake believes that hiding amongst the Metkayina is currently the best was to keep his family safe; therefore, throughout the Sullies’ time with the clan, Jake’s primary goal is to lay low and get along with the clan so as not to tread on their hospitality and get kicked out (even if and when that means setting aside one’s own pride). This, then, is the lens through which Jake’s actions must be analyzed while his family is staying with the Metkayina.

The first time this becomes relevant is after Neteyam and Lo’ak’s little scrap defending Kiri from Aonung and his posse. Jake is clearly not thrilled about Kiri being bullied, but again, his top priority is keeping his family safe and right now this entails maintaining a good standing with the chief, which in turns means that his sons getting into brawls with Tonowari’s son is a very bad look. Which is why, after a moment of internal conflict, he asks Lo’ak to apologize to Aonung (he even tries to explain when Lo’ak protests:)

On that note, while remaining on good terms with the clan has to take precedence at this moment, Jake is clearly quietly proud of his boys for kicking butt, as we see from his exchange with Neteyam (though yes, it is unfortunate that Lo’ak didn’t get to see this bit).

…which brings us to one of the bigger moments that people point to when accusing Jake of being a bad father: the “you bring shame to this family” line. Now, I can understand why this line doesn’t sit right with viewers initially, especially since we have just seen firsthand the truth about what Lo’ak experienced over the past few hours. However, when you consider what’s going on from Jake’s perspective, the line is not quite as unreasonable as it first seems.

Let’s back up a bit to when Lo’ak first returns to the village after meeting Payakan. At first Jake is just relieved that his son is ok (remember: he always checks first)

In fact, once it’s clear that Lo’ak is ok, it seems Jake just wanted to let it go and head home…the real conflict didn’t begin until after Lo’ak lied to take the blame for Aonung.

Up until this moment, Jake only knew Aonung’s side of the story, that he’d taken Lo’ak outside the reef and he got stranded there (it’s unclear whether Aonung specifies that he abandoned him out there on purpose, the little punk, but I digress). But when Tonowari (rightfully) declares Aonung’s responsibility for the incident, Lo’ak speaks up to take the fall, claiming that the whole ordeal was all his idea, which Aonung had tried to talk him out of.

Lo’ak does not have a reputation for lying…but he does have a reputation for pulling reckless stunts that put himself and others in danger, so for better or for worse, Jake has literally zero reason not to believe this claim.

In other words, for Jake, the situation has just gone from “my son got taken advantage of by the local bullies and put into a precarious situation but he’s home safe now” to “my son dragged a bunch of other kids to a dangerous location where he knows he’s not supposed to go despite the chef’s son trying to talk him out of it, endangering both his life and theirs, getting lost in the process, and thereby worrying and inconveniencing the entire clan on whose hospitality we rely by making them go out of their way to arrange a whole search party in the dead of night just to find him.”

…yeah, no wonder he was flippin’ ticked. No wonder he “didn’t want to hear it” when Lo’ak tries to explain that he was “only trying to make friends”. We as the audience know that’s true, of course, but as far as Jake knows in that moment, based on what Lo’ak himself claimed just moments ago, he was trying to “make friends” by…dragging them out to a dangerous location despite their protests thus jeopardizing both his and their lives as well as his family’s standing in the clan who can kick them out at any time. Yeah, I wouldn’t want to “hear it” either.

When you look at it from that perspective, “you brought shame to this family” doesn’t really seem quite as extreme, does it?

And yes, I feel for Lo’ak here, really, I do; he’s just been through a lot and yes based on the actual events that just occurred his father’s anger is the last thing the poor kid needs and I totally get why it would upset him…but at the same time, I can’t help feeling that he kinda brought this particular lecture on himself by voluntarily taking the blame for Aonung. Not really sure what he was expecting: that Jake would somehow read his mind and understand the way things actually went? That he would see through his lie and praise him for being so amiable towards Aonung by taking the fall perhaps similar to how Neteyam so often claims the blame for Lo’ak’s own reckless shenanigans despite how rude Aonung had been to him thus far? Or perhaps he just blurted out the blame claim as an olive branch of sorts to Aonung (genuinely trying to “make friends” in a way) without really thinking about the consequences of doing so. Who knows. But regardless of how Lo’ak did or didn’t think things would go, I think it’s a little unfair to blame Jake for his reaction. Based on his knowledge of the circumstances, which in turn were based on Lo’ak’s own account given only moments before (remember, Jake had zero reason to suspect he was lying), his reaction is actually pretty understandable.

Speaking of Lo’ak’s adventures with Payakan, the next time we see him clash with his father is when Tonowari lectures him for bonding with the outcast, and Lo’ak defends his new friend. Remember: Jake’s top priority is keeping his family safe which currently means not getting kicked out of the Metkayina. Lo’ak, regardless of whether or not he was in the right, was clearly upsetting Ronal and Tonowari in this exchange—Neytiri is actually the first to step in and warn her son:

…and when Lo’ak persists anyways, Jake has to step in in hopes of smoothing things over with the chief.

It sucks that this upset Lo’ak, especially because we the audience know that Lo’ak is right about Payakan, but again, Jake is currently more concerned with not getting kicked out of the clan than with his son winning an argument about the validity of a tulkun’s outcast status.

...aaaand here comes the hardest part of this essay to write. Admittedly I wasn’t aware of this argument until recently, but now that I know it’s out there I feel obligated to address it here. Apparently some folks are out there claim that Jake did not display a sufficient amount of emotion at Neteyam’s death, and this somehow proves that he wasn’t as attached to his sons as he should have been. And all I have to say to that is: did we watch the same movie??

That man broke upon his son’s death. Did he wail and cry like Neytiri, no, but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t heartbroken—wailing and crying simply aren’t how his character responds to trauma. He’s a solider, he’s probably trained to delay any external breakdown at least until a given battle is over.

But you can still see it in his face. You can hear it in his voice which breaks and shudders when he realizes that Neteyam is dying and tries to give him a few last words of comfort, wanting so desperately to ease his pain to the best of his abilities.

...yeah. This man is broken in this moment.

…but his job isn’t over yet. The battle is still raging. He still has three more kids who still need him. As much as he may want to, he cannot take the time to fully grieve in this moment.

…which brings us to the big one, the main line people point to when arguing that Jake is a bad father:

Now, let’s be honest: was this an awful thing to say? Yes, absolutely. Should Jake apologize to Lo’ak for it after the fact, if he hasn’t already? Definitely, one-hundred-percent. I’m not disputing that in the least.

however…

In this moment, Jake has just spent the past however-long locked in a vicious battle, and hardly minutes before watched his firstborn son bleed out in his arms. And now he learns that his daughters—one of whom is a pre-pubescent child with no chance of defending herself—are still caught on the “demon ship” with the recoms, who have just very clearly proven that they have absolutely no qualms with killing these kids. Quaritch taunting in his ear certainly is not helping.

The only thing Jake could properly focus on in that moment was getting Kiri and Tuk off that boat. Repeat: he wants to get his kids OFF the demon ship, not risk bringing any of them back ON. On top of that, Lo’ak, as established very early on in the film (see: train raid), has a reputation for struggling to follow orders…even when not emotionally devastated by the death of his brother.

All these things considered, is it really any wonder that Jake did not want Lo’ak coming along on this mission? He’s already lost one son, why in the ever-loving flip flap would he want to risk losing the other by intentionally bringing him back to the danger zone with no guarantee he’ll come out again, especially given his apparent propensity to ignore orders and throw himself into danger?

Heck, the only reason he lets Spider come is that Spider knows where the girls are and, unlike Lo’ak, Spider doesn’t have that same reckless reputation. Spider, in that moment, appears to be able to compartmentalize the fresh trauma well enough to focus on the task at hand, and can be trusted to do as Jake asks. Lo’ak…can’t. So, Jake wants him to stay behind.

Did he express it horribly? Absolutely. But saying one stupid insensitive thing in a moment of numbness underlaid by grief, pain, and fear does not make him a horrible dad overall, and I think it’s a little unfair to say that it does.

On that note, I do not believe for one moment that Jake genuinely blames Lo’ak for Neteyam’s death. Now, Lo’ak may well view it that way and I’m sure it’ll come into play for his character arc in future movies, which can be a topic for another day, but as for Jake’s perspective, no. I don’t think he truly blames Lo’ak. Even if he couldn’t necessarily process it all right away, I think he knows that Lo’ak is going through as much heartbreak as the rest of the family…especially given that Jake himself has firsthand experience losing a brother. He just said something dumb in a moment of pain.

(On the topic of Lo’ak being unable to follow orders, less than five minutes after Jake, Neytiri, and Spider leave for the ship, Lo’ak…immediately disobeys the order to stay safe on the island and heads back out to the ship anyways. Obviously in the grand scheme of things it’s good that he was there to save Jake from drowning after the scuffle with Quaritch, but still, good gracious son. Way to spectacularly prove your dad’s point.)

So now we come to the point where Lo’ak saves Jake’s life. After a mutual choke-out with Quaritch, Jake is left to drown until Lo’ak finds him and pulls him to the surface, at which point he gasps for air and chokes out Neteyam’s name.

This can be interpreted in a few ways. It could be that Jake is so accustomed to Neteyam being the “responsible” one that he irrationally thought it was him coming to the rescue, momentarily forgetting he had died or somehow thinking maybe by some stroke of fate he pulled through after all—this seems to be Lo’ak’s assumption, given that he promptly corrects him.

Now, some may take Jake’s “oh, Lo’ak…” as a show of favoritism, or proof that Jake values his first son above his second. I don’t think this is the case though—I don’t think Jake’s apparent disappointment is about Lo’ak being there so much it’s about Neteyam not being there. In other words, it’s not a personal slight against or disappointment in Lo’ak, but rather a form of still-very-raw grief for Neteyam who, remember, only just died, like, an hour ago.

It could also be that Jake is still so distraught following Neteyam’s death that it’s consuming his thoughts…he was able to shove it down and compartmentalize long enough to fight the recoms and get Tuk and Kiri off the boat, but that compartmentalization broke down while he was literally drowning and it took him a minute to focus and put things back together (which he manages to do a moment later when Lo’ak tries to apologize for his brother’s death):

The most excruciating interpretation I’ve seen is Jake thinking he had drowned and is rejoining Neteyam in the afterlife. ouch. Though that is, of course, just speculation.

Regardless, at this point Jake has just about given up. He’s exhausted, he’s in agony, both physically and emotionally. He’s completely drained. He wants Lo’ak to live but is ready to give up on himself (“I can’t make it. You can.”). It’s only when Lo’ak insists:

...that Jake realizes he still needs to press forward. Because his other kids still need him. His other son still needs him and he’s not willing to give up on him. So he takes a deep breath (literally), puts his trust in Lo’ak, and lets his son lead him through the flooded passageways out of the wreck. When they finally break the surface, we have this lovely moment:

This moment is a resolution to one of Lo’ak’s primary emotional conflicts throughout the movie: living in the shadow of his legendary war hero father and prodigious older brother, finally getting the recognition and affirmation he so craved from that father. Some might argue that in terms of “ideal” parenting that this kind of moment should have come sooner, or that Jake’s recognition of his son should never have been in doubt in the first place, and while there may be some truth to that, I struggle to really blame Jake for it for reasons I just spent the past 4000 words discussing. I think the fact that this moment happened at all shows that despite their clashes and struggles and miscommunications, Jake does and always has cared very deeply about Lo’ak; his lectures and frustrations come not out of malice or some personal distaste, but out of fear for his well-being.

We see Jake comforting Lo’ak again after the family returns to Neteyam’s body on the rocks.

As I said before, I don’t think for even the briefest moment Jake genuinely blames Lo’ak for Neteyam’s death. I don’t think he would be comforting him like this if he did.

…which, I suppose, brings us to Neteyam’s funeral, and Jake and Neytiri visiting his spirit within Eywa. No parent should ever have to bury their child and good golly gracious this scene ripped my heart out but I digress. I don’t even really have a lot of commentary to add to these scenes…just…just this. It speaks for itself.

look me in the eye and tell me this man “doesn’t care about his sons”. I flipping DARE you.

Well, that concludes the debunking of scenes that supposedly make Jake a bad father. But before we go, let’s look just briefly at this scene of him being a good dad with Kiri. I didn’t mention this earlier because while I’ve seen a lot of complaints about Jake’s interactions with Neteyam and especially Lo’ak, few people have qualms with the way Jake treats Kiri and Tuk—in fact, many people claim that he shows favoritism to his daughters, going out of his way “baby” them and treat them more gently and lovingly than his sons. I disagree and hope the above has done a thorough job dispelling that notion: Kiri and Tuk don’t go around throwing themselves headlong into the same kind of danger that Neteyam and Lo’ak do. They aren’t begging to participate in battle, they aren’t disobeying orders that land them in mortal peril.

In other words: Jake lectures his sons more than his daughters out of necessity, not nepotism. Remember: Jake’s #1 priority is protecting his family, keeping them all safe and alive. That means that when one of his kids pulls a stupid stunt that puts them in danger he feels the need to crack down on that in hopes of preventing it from happening again. Lo’ak is, quite frankly, prone to pulling those kind of stunts, so he gets lectured a lot. Kiri and Tuk do not typically pull such stunts, so they don’t get lectured. It’s as simple as that, really.

Buuuuuut now that we’ve cleared that up, let’s talk just briefly about Jake comforting Kiri.

Like with the scene of visiting Neteyam’s spirit, I don’t have much commentary to add to this scene—it’s a very sweet scene and it speaks for itself really. Jake is very gentle and doing his best to listen to Kiri, even if he is a little unsure about her claims. He doesn’t criticize or invalidate, he just tries to be there for her. What can I say, that’s a good dad right there ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

One last little point before we wrap up for real: the fact that Lo’ak and Neteyam occasionally refer to Jake as “sir”. I was originally planning to address this earlier but it didn’t quite fit in with the flow of the discussion and I consider it such a minor point anyways, I figured I could save it for a side note—but seriously, it baffles me what a big deal people make of this.

It would be one thing if “sir” was something that Jake strictly enforced, if it was the only thing he allowed the kids to address him as, if one of them called him “Dad” and he barked back, “no! it is sir!” But…literally none of that is the case. He never explicitly asks them to call him “sir”, and they call him “Dad” just as often if not more.

The kids referring to Jake as “sir” in tense moments is a simple show of respect, nothing more. I recall my own dad also wanting to be called “sir” when we were in trouble and it was never really an issue. And I suppose your milage may vary depending on where you live, but growing up in the southern US, “sir” and “ma’am” are just very common basic courtesy in many situations (not just familial).

Sooooo….yeah, the idea that Neteyam and Lo’ak occasionally calling Jake sir is somehow proof of Jake being too strict or cold or whatever else is really making a mountain out of a molehill. It’s not that deep y’all.

…aaaand I suppose that’s it for this post.

In conclusion:

Look guys, Jake does not have to be your favorite character. You don’t even have to like him, or agree with everything that he says or does. He isn’t perfect (which, by the way, literally no one is). But if nothing else, I hope this behemoth of a post has at least helped you understand his character and why he acts and reacts the way that he does.

Jake Sully may not be a shining beacon of parental perfection from a psychological development perspective (and all things considered, expecting him to be such is, quite frankly, a little silly), but good golly gracious he is trying his absolute darnedest in incredibly difficult and precarious circumstances beyond his control i.e. the RDA coming back to quite literally take over. This man’s family means absolutely everything to him and I’m done sitting back and watching y’all slander him just because he didn’t react to x situation the way you think he should have.

thank you and good night

#avatar #avatar 2 #way of water #jake sully #lo'ak

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hannieehaee · 5 months

Text

NO SONG WITHOUT YOU (teaser)

18+ / mdi

summary: with zero experience or interest in the romantic aspect of his life, jihoon finds himself in an unexpected situation when his company decides on a collab between the two of you, not expecting the work-addicted producer to develop a bit of a crush on you.

content: idol!jihoon x idol!reader, afab reader, pining, jihoon's emotionally constipated, jihoon's pov, some angst, misunderstandings, kinda inexperienced jihoon, smut, dry humping, oral (m receiving), penetrative sex, etc.

(^ no actual content warnings in the teaser)

wc: 782 in this teaser; 10k+ in the final ver

release date: 12/7/23

update: FULL FIC HERE

a/n: so happy to have finally written a long fic for jihoon!! he's one of my biases so i had a lot of fun writing him :D hope u guys enjoy the final product <3

masterlist

Jihoon was tired.

Beyond tired, actually. He couldn't remember the last time he'd left his studio at a reasonable time. He knew people on twitter made jokes about him being a bit of a hermit, with fans being able to spot his studio from outside the building, lights always on and indicating the producer was still inside.

He didn't have much of a valid excuse for this, other than being a 'workaholic', or at least that's the term Joshua had recently introduced him to, describing him as the prime example. Jihoon just couldn't help himself. He'd been like this ever since he could remember. If he had an idea, he had to work on it. And unfortunately for him, he was always full of new ideas. If Seventeen was releasing an album, that meant Jihoon already had enough material to fill up the next three albums backed up in a file somewhere in his computer.

Despite always having music prepared months in advance, - even having solo music up for grabs for whichever member desired it - he still found himself constantly working. It's not like anyone demanded this out of him either. It was quite the opposite, actually. From staff, to other producers, to members and even family, everyone always insisted that he took a break, maybe leave producing aside for a month or two. This was inconceivable to him, it was something that was simply out of his comfort zone.

The truth was, Jihoon felt lost. Any time he strayed away from work in some way or other, he didn't know what to do with himself. He felt like a failure in many other aspects of his life. Granted, he was a successful idol and producer, talented in every area necessary in his field, but past that, what did he really have to offer? He'd been stuck in a rut for a few years now. He had his members, his family, maybe some staff, but his social life didn't go much past that. He didn't have many hobbies outside of work either. Sure, he was avid when exercising, even being an overachiever in that area, but that was also kind of part of his job. He knew he needed to step out of his comfort zone at some point and live his life, but he kept making excuses for himself. He was 26 now, and was, quite frankly, beginning to lose hope in certain areas of his life due to his career - although blaming his career was just an excuse, really - the romantic aspect of his life being one of them.

Jihoon had some experience, okay? It wasn't like he'd never liked a girl before. He'd had a few crushes in elementary, maybe even some up until high school. He'd kissed one of the female trainees back when Pledis was a smaller company (okay, it might've been on a dare, but to Jihoon it counted). A few years after debuting he'd even gone on a few dates with a former staff member from his company. He'd lost his virginity to that same girl, kind of rushing into it due to feeling pressured to just get it over with - something he didn't exactly regret, but wished had been more of a memorable moment. The point was, Jihoon had had a few romantic experiences in his past 26 years on this earth. But, he hadn't ever even gotten close to find that one great love he'd hoped he one day would. For someone who received constant accolades for his lyricism, he was never really able to relate to his own music. He'd never been heartbroken, never had an insane need for someone, never felt romantic love, never been in the throes of passion with a beautiful girl, even. It was all his imagination. His lyrics, that is. And maybe the rest, if he was being honest. He'd dreamt about it lately; the perfect girl who he'd find and sweep off her feet. But that was all it was, a dream.

So, Jihoon was tired. Tired of hauling himself up in his studio to make himself feel something. But that was where he now found himself; stuck and in a rut, hoping for something more.

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