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#i really wanted to see what it was like 20 + years ago when those 'gonna be champions' kids drove their little karts on this track
chiosblog · 1 month
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Still cant believe I was in one of the brocedes birthplaces
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They were so young ohmy
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pepprs · 1 year
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idk how to reconcile my new self with my old self. also i fucking hate waiting. GRAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#delete later#im getting a taste of my own medicine bc when im overwhelmed depressed etc i don’t even open emails or dms or whatever and then ifeel guilty#and let them build up and run away from them and literally do not reply for years. but ive been waiting for like 5 different but related#replies for 3ish days at this point and im soooooo impatient omg i want to bash my head into the wall.. and afaik no one i messaged has#opened the message despite being active online elsewhere which is EXACTLY what i do so i have no right to complain at all. but still. omggg#i just have a simple question (me and the ps5 voice) reply to my message boy#purrs#also.. ok yeah im gonna be honest about it even if there are consequences lol. idk why im on such a mission to get back all my old#characters but if i don’t i can and will go crazy. i don’t even do that kind of thing anymore and d*viantart is an irreversibly warped#landscape due in part to capitalism and in part to own mistakes and selfish actions. and i truly feel like my tumblr mutuals are the only#ones who understand me and feel safe and cozy on here. but i miss my old internet home. and i really miss my old internet friends and seeing#all the jokes we had and how we were all like interconnected w the same adopt groups and stuff and now we don’t even talk… it makes me so#sad and i feel weird messaging them just for the purpose of asking if they can give me back characters i gave them 4 years ago like a) you j#just don’t do that kind of thing i don’t think but b) it feels so transactional and would make the part of saying hey our friendship was#important to me when i was a teenager and even though we don’t talk anymore i think of you fondly and wish you well. like lollllll. and i#feel cringe even tracking them down / messaging them bc we are all jn our 20s now… embarrassing. but i am so mad at myself for letting those#friendships wither (not that i have the spoons to sustain them these days anyway but still) and for not keeping bettr track of my characters#when i sold them and for giving them up in the first place and for letting my old internet life just fall apart due to neglect bc it puts me#in a bind to try to piece it together again no matter how i try it and i shouldn’t try anyway. but i am so tempted to rn. lol#* itd make saying stuff abt appreciating friendship weird bc there’s a transaction tied in (source: i did this and feel weird and bad)#like the way i want to SCREAM seeing that dA ate all of the journals i made when i was a 14 year old and turned them into glitched polls. th#the way the wayback machine has terrible unreliable records of everything and i can never get some stuff back / track some stuff down. pain#anyways it’s stupid bc i feel cozy and listened to and as connected as i have the energy to be to all of u guys so why am i doing this. but#i miss the dA stuff too and i wish it wasn’t cringe and i wish i could have everything that’s ever been part of me all in one place. lol#also this doesn’t even take into account my poetry community on dA on my other account who i also felt so safe and cozy with and i abandoned#that too and lost touch with basically everyone even though we all knew each others deepest secrets for years.. the heartsickness of it all#anyways mutuals who knew me on deviantart i am clutching both your hands with impassioned urgency and kissing u on the cheeks. that’s all
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giantkillerjack · 1 year
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Thank you, younger me, for drawing so many things in which the lines were never quite right. It is quite literally the only reason I ever figured out how to get them right.
#And I imagine future me will have a very similar thing to say when I am them and they are no longer me.#original#something about zyr improved composition and speed hopefully#i keep wanting to use she pronouns for future me. probably bc that is what i do for past me sometimes.#but i really don't think I'm ever going to want she her pronouns again#I still don't get my lines exactly how I want them a lot of the time but I am at a point where I'm fairly confident I can#produce nearly anything I see in my head and capture the spirit of it in a way that makes me proud.#even if it takes a really really long time sometimes.#and although I don't think the art I made growing up was bad i love the phrase#' the road to good art is paved with bad art.' I think I saw it in a video by Bobby Chiu? idk.#and I like it because whenever I'm not sure about what I'm making and I get to insecure or perfectionist about it#*too insecure#I remember that if I want to get good at the thing I'm struggling with I'm going to have to do it poorly or just okay a bunch of times#and that doing this is my ticket to this skill I'm placing value on. also doesn't hurt that Im drawing things I love and I enjoy doing it#although at this point I really really should just sit down and study leg muscles for like a hundred years#it's one of the more longstanding blindspots of mine. that and literally everything that is not people.#as in locations animals objects scenery... did you know that most graphic novels have some or all of those things???#how homophobic that in order to show my characters experiencing such luxuries as plot action and context I couldn't just#drop them on a gradient and be done with it!#I've been drawing for like 20 years and only a couple years ago was i like... OH MY GOD I CAN'T DRAW A FUCKING TREE
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rafeandonlyrafe · 4 months
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good boy
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words: 1.5k
warnings: established relationship, marriage, protective!rafe, (guard??) dog, fluffy
“rafe, it's literally two weeks. ill be fine!” you say, folding his clothes, having dumped out his suitcase onto the bed to reorganize it when you saw how he packed it, just chucking things in.
“two weeks where im a hours away from you by plane.” rafe sighs, watching you carefully repack his suitcase as he pouts on the bed, not wanting to leave you.
“you know, cameron, i lived a whole 20 years before meeting you.” you point out, knowing while rafes concern comes from his love for you, it will completely overwhelm what is supposed to be an enjoyable family vacation and leave him miserable the whole time.
“i don't see why you can't just come with me.” rafe groans, flopping back against the bed. you smile and round the bed to where his head is resting against the pillows. you press a smooch to his forehead, rubbing your hand over his head, petting at his soft hair.
“baby, it's just for your family. you know that.” it's not like you don't want to accompany rafe to a tropical paradise, but you would feel way too awkward intruding.
“what if something happens to you? and im not here to protect you? id be the worst fiancee ever.” rafe grabs your head from rubbing his head, holding up the ring on your finger for him to admire.
“nothing will happen. nothing ever happens here.” you laugh. you're not sure what crime is like on the other side of the island, but your neighborhood is incredibly safe.
“im still worried.” rafe sighs. “you in that big house all alone.”
“im gonna spend 99% of the time wedding planning.” you hum, thinking about the tabs pulled open on your laptop of different venues, dresses, and color palettes.
that finally gets rafe to crack a smile. “can't wait to marry you.” rafe says earnestly. he only proposed a month ago, some people would say that you were too young to get married, but rafe knew when you came into his life and turned everything around for him that he had to put a ring on your finger.
“i can't wait either.” you bend down to press a kiss to rafes lips. “but seriously we need to talk about your packing before we tie the knot, why do you only have one pair of shorts packed for an island?”
-- two years later --
“remember those two weeks you left before we were engaged? it's not really much longer. you should go, baby. it's a good opportunity.” you are sat on rafes lap, back pressed against his chest as he scrolls through his email.
“it's just work, and it's a whole lot longer than two weeks. i don't want to leave you here alone for over a month.” rafe closes out of the email, making you sigh.
“i was fine for those two weeks, ill be fine now. promise. i think you should go! it's a big conference.” you turn sideways on his lap so you can look rafe in the eye. “besides, it's still six months away. plenty of time to prepare.”
“prepare?” rafe raises his eyebrows. “so you'd be good with security cams around the whole house and personal security?”
“cameras on the outside and hell no. you don't want some random guys watching after me do you?”
you can see the gears turning in rafes head as he frowns. “yeah, you're right. no men.”
“so you'll go?” you smile. rafe closes his eyes for a brief moment before nodding.
“yay!” you squeal. you're not excited to be left alone, and you love being around your husband more than anything, but the work trip is a big deal, and you know he'll be kicking himself if he misses out on such a good opportunity.
--
“rafey?” you call, eyes sweeping across the living room as you enter your shared home, a head full of fresh highlights.
“hubby?” you call out, continuing deeper into the house until you see movement through the glass door leading towards the backyard, but it's not the typical roll of the ocean against the shore.
“rafe?” you question as you open the door. you expected to find him in his office, where he was before you left for the beauty salon.
rafe smiles, waiting for your eyes to look down, and when you finally see what is sitting at rafes feet, you let out a gasp.
“oh my gosh!” you squeal. 
“wifey, meet max. our new australian shepherd.” rafe gives a command with his hand, that has max running towards you.
you sink to your knees as the young dog excitedly greets you, licking at your hands as you pet him.
“hi maxey.” you coo at the dog, you're guessing around two years old, with max being full size but still having some young features.
“rafe, you didn't tell me you were getting us a dog!” you stand up, max following close behind as you rush to give your husband a hug.
“i have a confession.” rafe says, his hands looped around your waist. you frown, worried that max was just a foster and you'd have to give him back, or that something went wrong with the adoption. you often talked about getting pets before getting married, but wanted to wait a little bit, and then time just slipped away and before you knew it, you were over a year into your marriage. 
“what?” you whine out.
“ive been working with a trainer behind your back. i wanted to make sure max was ready before we chose him for sure. he knows commands, me, your scent, our house. everything. he knows his primary responsibility is to protect you and our property.”
“oh my gosh!” you slap rafe in the chest, surprised that he was able to keep such a secret from you. “how could you do all that without telling me?” you laugh, not angry, but surprised that he was able to orchestrate everything.
you don't wait for rafe to explain how he was able to find so much time, stepping out of his hold to kneel down and continue petting max.
“we have some more training sessions so he can learn with you as well.” rafe further explains, also leaning down to pet max behind the ears as he pants excitedly at his new owners.
--
“what is it maxy?” you ask as he lifts his head up, looking around the living room. “you miss your daddy?”
you sigh as max lets out a sad sounding huff, petting your hand over his head, scratching at his neck which you know is his favorite. rafe has been gone on his business trip for a month now, with only a week and a half left until he returns home.
max suddenly jumps off the couch, eyes on the backyard. he lets out a bark, claws clicking on the hardwood floor as he moves to the glass door. he lets out another bark, making you stand.
“what is it boy?” you ask, looking out the window.
max lets out another bark, this one the familiar territorial bark that he’s practiced in his training with you and rafe. you know the only reason that rafe feels safe enough leaving you home is that max is a great guard dog.
you get closer to the window, squinting your eyes to try and see in the darkness when you sudden jump back with a scream as a squirrel runs across your patio, causing max to bark and run along the glass door until it scatters into the yard.
“holy shit, maxy, you scared the shit out of me.” you press your hand to your chest before kneeling down, scratching behind his ears. “it was just a squirrel.” you reassure him with a pat.
your heart rate is just starting to calm down from the fright when you hear the front door open. max instantly takes off with you following after him, letting out a sigh of relief when you see rafe standing in the foyer.
“baby.” he sighs happily, setting his suitcase down as you run into his arms, pressing your lips together. “i missed you so much.”
“i missed you too, what are you doing home though?” you ask, giving him another kiss before he can answer.
“they didn’t need me for the rest of the week, decided to get home to my lady.” max barks, making rafe lean down to pet him, still holding you up. “and my good boy too, of course.”
“so happy to have you home.” you nuzzle your nose into rafes neck, inhaling the familiar scent that you missed so much. 
“happy to be back with you, wifey.” rafe says, carrying you further into the house.
“oh, and you will be very happy to know maxy did a great job protecting me while you were gone.” you tell rafe. it mostly involved max barking in warning at any delivery guy or car turning around in your driveway, but his presence did help making you feel safer and less loney.
“hopefully not too good.” rafe huffs as he looks at your pet. “can’t have him replacing me now.”
you giggle, surprised rafe can manage to be jealous of your dog. “never.” you swear, pressing another kiss to his lips.
taglist: @winterrrnight @bejeweledreverie @drewstarkeyslut @forstarkey @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog @outerbankspov @drewstarkeyswifehoe @cutielando @kamninaries @buckyswhxre @rafeinterlude @bellbottombaby @deeaardiary @rubixgsworld @emma77645 @wearemadeofstardust0 @leighbronk
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somnambulic-thing · 10 months
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This fic is part I of my come as you are universe but can be read as a standalone.
Series Masterlist
greedy Eddie Munson x gn!best friend reader, early 20s, E 18+
Words: 1.8k
| best friends to lovers, fluff, finger sucking, light biting, Eddie comes in his pants, get together, silly and a little cheesy, not proofread |
---
“You need something?”
“Huh?” you look up from your book and right into Eddie’s eyes staring at you over the edge of his mattress the way a nosey neighbour might lurk over a garden fence. You’d been so lost in your thoughts about Eddie that you hadn’t noticed him abandoning his own book to creep up close to you. You, spread out your stomach on his sheets. Eddie, perched on his carpet in increasingly uncomfortable-looking positions as the evening progresses, but never more than an arm’s length away. You always could just reach out and give his hair a thorough ruffling whenever you felt like it.
That’s just how it was, just one of the many shapes your togetherness takes. Rituals established and refined over years. You share the bed during movie nights, or when one of you is reading out loud to the other and you settle down on the armchair without even thinking about it the second Eddie picks up one of his guitars to play for you, leaving the bed to him.
“Ah, finally I caught your attention,” he says, muffled by the mattress, his fingers slowly creeping over the edge. It’s adorable. 
“What did you say?” you mumble and snap your book close as if the pages could somehow give away that you had been only pretending to read the whole time. He would see smouldering holes with charred edges where your intense stare had lingered and ask you why your brain was producing such intense heat that you ruined the copy of Howl’s Moving Castle he got you for your unbirthday only a week ago.
His brows draw slightly together. His fingers curl to grab the sheets and then he’s dramatically and labourously pulling himself up like he’s climbing a cliff in a storm, huffing and groaning.
“You need any help?” you chuckle; an insufficient expression for the unbridled affection you harbour for this silly man.
“No… no… almost— ahhh.” Chest now flat on the mattress, back bend in one of those ways that made you certain there wasn’t one solid bone in Eddie Munson’s body. He crosses his arms on the mattress and rests his chin on top of his wrist, so close now you could just dip down to press your lips to his forehead.
He smiles up at you. “Book s’ good then?”
“Huh?”
“Huh?” he mocks you. “You haven’t reacted to a thing I said in the past twenty minutes so I assumed the story must be really captivating.”
“Oh!”
“Oh!”
“Stop that!” you huff in faux exasperation, tapping that very kissable-looking spot of forehead lurking through his messy bangs with your index finger.
With an eerie speed, Eddie grabs your finger in his fist. You watch in slow motion as he opens his mouth wide and guides your hand closer and closer, large dark eyes fixed on you, daring and full of mischief.
The routine would be to struggle. To say: no, Eddie, bad Eddie! Maybe shove him a little, maybe curse his ass, have a little wrestle, have him breathing hot against your neck as he tries to pin you down; it’s tempting. So tempting. But you don’t.
You just watch, mesmerized, how your finger slowly disappears inside his mouth, almost two digits deep, watch his lips pull back from his teeth, his jaws close.
He’s gentle, not biting to hurt, just playfully chomping down a few times.
Does his heart pound as fast as yours? Does he know what he’s doing to you?
You want to push in deeper, long for his lips to close around you, to suck you in. 
He is hiding his tongue from you and that won’t do.
“Careful,” you say with a grin, “could be poisonous.”
And, oh, how willingly he takes the bate.
The soft, wet tip finds the pad of your finger, slides back and forth over and over while the corners of his mouth twitch wickedly. The routine would be to say: gross, Eddie, eeew Eddie and to free yourself from his hold and coat his cheek in a thick stripe of saliva in revenge, feel him shiver when you blow cool air against his wet skin. But you don’t.
Because this is perfect.
And maybe this was how your problem solved itself. It has been weeks of wracking your brain on how to figure out if Eddie too craved to deepen your friendship the way you did without ruining everything in case he didn’t, but maybe the solution was simply to stick your finger into his mouth and give him free rein over it.
“Gnophe!” he mumbles and shakes his head. His teeth clamp down just a little bit harder.
“No?” you ask softly, “You feel good?”
Eddie nods and as if wasn’t obscene already, the way he looks up at you through his lashes, big eyes playful and excited, the eagerness of the gesture only amplifies the spectacle in front of you.
“No weird tingling? No? Or hot flashes?” He sets to shake his head but doesn't follow through. Instead, his eyes widen for a split second; if you had blinked at that moment, you’d have missed it. You can feel the sheet under you being pulled taut, you follow the movement to Eddie’s hand still resting on the bed, twisting the fabric in a clenched fist. 
“Because,” you work hard to keep your breath steady, “your cheeks are so very red, Eddie.”
He swallows loudly. The action forces his lips to close around your knuckle, cool and wet, and your mind goes blank.
“Fuck,” you moan softly.
His fingers around your hand twitch, his eyes flutter and then shut. You press your thighs together and your hips into the mattress, mourning the absence of his gaze and before you know what you’re doing, the knuckle of your middle finger nudges his bottom lip, pulling it down slightly. Eddie groans; a long stretched noise fading out into a high-pitched sound you’d almost call whiny. The pressure of his teeth disappears and his tongue darts out, nudging guiding sweeping your middle finger into his mouth as well. Eddie hums, running the tip of his tongue along the groove between them.
“Look at me.”
Beneath you, on the floor, on his knees, with your fingers in his mouth, Eddie opens his eyes and with that, tells you everything you need to know and more than you hoped for.
You push in deeper, just slightly past the second joint and Eddie sucks in his cheeks, trapping you in the wet heat of his mouth.
“You like that?”
The nod is slow, almost heavy. Saliva collects at the corners of his mouth.
Lifting your hips, you pull your knees under your stomach and start to sit up. Eddie sucks you in harder, brows drooping as if in worry you could end this now.
“Shit, you’re adorable when you’re greedy,” you say and come to sit on the edge of the bed. Eddie moves with you, eyes fixed on your face. He swallows again hard when you settle with your knees apart and pressed into his sides. Large hands settle on your thighs, squeezing softly, then running up up up until they find your hips to hold on to.
Your heart races with the new shape your togetherness is forming, with the trust and longing in Eddie’s eyes. Your free hand cups his cheek and he leans into the touch, sighing softly. It’s perfect.
Then the suction is gone, you draw back just slightly and his tongue prods the edge of your palm.
“You want more?”
A moan.
“You sure?”
A moan and a nod and your insides catch fire. You slide a third finger into his mouth and revel in the smooth slide of his tongue between them, the way he’s drooling for and around you. He bites down a few times, mostly soft but testing you with harder chomps in between. Your other hand winds into his hair at the back of his head, testing him with soft scratches, soft pulls and a few firm tugs in between. He likes those, moans and slides his fingertips under the hem of your shirt, digging into your skin, holding on tight; he’s vibrating.
“Look at you,” you breathe and lean in close, pressing a kiss to his hollowed cheek, to his jaw, close to his ear. “You look so much better like this than I could have ever imagined.”
Teeth clamp down, the sting is delicious. Eddie moans, hips twitching between your knees.
“What pretty things you can do with this big beautiful mouth.”
Eddie draws his head back, releasing your fingers all at once and slumps against you. You embrace him, welcome him where he belongs now. His face is pressed to your neck, hands finding your back under your shirt, nails digging in.
“Keep talking, please,” he groans against your skin and licks a dripping stripe along your throat. “Taste so good… please…”
“Fuck,” you drawl out, overwhelmed and buzzing, desperately rolling your hips against his stomach. “Wanna know what else y-you can do with that mouth, can think of something sweet for that clever tongue to taste—“
“H’lly shiii—“ he nearly pushes you over, jerking and twitching in your arms. You feel teeth grazing your neck, then he’s sucking on your skin and it stings he’s sucking so hard. It lasts a little longer until he stills and goes slack in your arms, breathing heavily. You’re dizzy and hot and you want to have him twitch and writhe for you again. You want to see his face when he does.
“Just…” he pants into your shoulder, pulls your collar aside and kisses it. “Just wanted to know if you needed something from the kitchen…”
You laugh and scratch his neck, desperate to feel him shiver again. He does.
“Did… you just—“
“Fucking come into my pants? Yepp… Was that unclear?”
“Just wanted to hear you say it.”
“Minx.” Eddie draws back, cups your face with both hands and kisses you. His lips are wet and swollen from sucking on your fingers and the moan escaping you vibrates hard against his mouth. Eddie’s tongue pushes past your lips to lick into you. He’s sloppy and excited, nibbling on your lips, licking your teeth, smiling and moaning and he’s just perfect.
“That a good time to tell you that I’m in love with you?” he pants, forehead pressed to yours.
“Oh yeah,” you laugh softly.
“Yeah? Cool,” his warm hands run up your sides. “Because I’m ridiculously in love with you, sweetheart.”
“Got a pretty bad case for you as well—“
“Nuh-uh…,” he pulls back to look at you, smirking. “Say it.”
“I’m in love with you, Eddie Munson.”
He wiggles his head and laughs, mouth wide open and baring teeth. The hands on your back slide down and straight to the waistband of your pants. You almost slip off the bed when he hooks his fingers in and pulls.
“Jesus, you’re eager.”
“Greedy,” he says nervously, blushing, but with so much determination. “And you promised me something sweet.”
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lewisvinga · 9 months
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my girls | lewis hamilton x wife! reader
summary: nobody knew lewis was married, let alone with a child, until pictures of him from the paparazzi were leaked
fc; karoline lima + cecilia militão
notes: real ones know a rainha ceci🗣️
masterlist !
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liked by lewishamilton, landonorris, and 20 others
yourprivateuser: good morning my husband decided it was a good idea to go out into a crowded restaurant in são paulo last night thinking we weren’t going to get caught !!
landonorris: he’s a bit slow u know
yourprivateuser: so true
lewishamilton: lando?? y/n??!!
lewishamilton: i said i’m sorry 🙁
yourprivateuser: ceci and i are upset at u xx
lewishamilton: what do i have to do to make it up to you 😔
yourprivateuser: ceci and i need new matching bags
lewishamilton: pink??
yourprivateuser: you know us so well😁
lewishamilton: anything for my girls
landonorris: gross
lilymhe: ur fine as hell i want u
yourprivateuser: i want u
alex_albon: lewishamilton do you see them??
lewishamilton: sadly i do💔
lilymhe: we’re having a private moment here !
carmenmmundt: ceci’s smileeee🥹 i miss her so much!!!
yourprivateuser: lmk which race you’re going to!! ceci misses her auntie carmen too!!
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liked by ynhamilton, georgerussell63, and 2,753,928 others!
lewishamilton: my favorite girls.
tagged; ynhamilton
ynhamilton: ceci and i love you so much 🤍
lewishamilton: i love both of my girls very much
username: YOOOO
username: i fucking knew it
username: omg is that really his daughter
georgerussell63: all hail queen cecilia!
lewishamilton: 🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️
mercedesamgf1: welcome y/n and cecilia to the mercedes family!💙
username: crying cecelia is so cute
username: so were the twitter threads right about cecilia being your daughter ???!!!
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liked by lewishamilton, lilymhe, and 1,203,937 others!
ynhamilton: us when dada spoils us
tagged; lewishamilton
lewishamilton: gotta make sure my girls are happy!
ynhamilton: trust, ceci and i are very happy💙😁
username: need to know how she manifested lewis
username: wait, DADA????
username: was it not obvious, she smiles just like lewis
username: y/n is a milf
lilymhe: look at those cheeks🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 i miss herrrrr😭😭😭😭🤍🤍🤍
ynhamilton: we miss u🥹🥹🥹🥹 swear she almost said lily the other day💅💅💅
lilymhe: i’m literally like her step mother except im married to u😝
ynhamilton: so true wife
alex_albon: hello💔
lewishamilton: i learn to not say anything to avoid a grumpy y/n
yourbsfusername: queen ceci is so smiley, we love to see it!
ynhamilton: all thanks to her dada, of course!
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liked by ynhamilton, yourbsfusername, and 2,639,028 others!
lewishamilton: if you told me 2 years ago on our wedding day, that i’d have a daughter that’s the perfect combination of us, i probably wouldn’t have believed you. thank you for blessing me with our sunshine, cecilia. i am eternally grateful for everything you do. happy mother’s day, y/n.
tagged; ynhamilton
ynhamilton: oh!🥹🥹🥹🥹
ynhamilton: give me a minute while i compose myself pls
lilymhe: she’s crying btw
ynhamilton: i love you sosososo much 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗 i probably wouldn’t have believed you either! so grateful to be the mother of our daughter and most importantly, your wife 🥹💗
lewishamilton: you deserve it all💙
username: im sobbing this is so cute
username: sleeping on the highway tonight
username: ME AND WHO
username: ‘our sunshine’ excuse me while i cry
mercedesamgf1: happy mother’s day!💐
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liked by lewishamilton, yourbsfusername, and 1,938,038 others!
ynhamilton: happy father’s day to the worlds greatest husband and father. thank you for always making sure that queen ceci and i are happy and taken care of. thank you for all the joy you bring us, we love you!!
tagged, lewishamilton
lewishamilton: my girls🩷
georgerussell63: what’d u do, now he can’t stop smiling in the garage
carmenmmundt: oh like you aren’t the same!
lewishamilton: i love you both so much, my queen and queen ceci 💗
ynhamilton: cecilia says she loves her dada very much🤍🤍
username: lewis hamilton, 7 time world champion, being smiley over a father’s day post, we love to see it
username: what the actual fuck they’re so perfect
username: actual parents
username: i want what they have
username: the picture of lewis and newborn ceci omg stop
username: THE lewis hamilton being married for 3 years and having a daughter was not on my 2023 bingo card
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a-very-tired-jew · 2 months
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You're not as informed as you think, and age does play a factor.
This is going to ruffle some feathers, but it needs to be said. You're not as informed on the I/P Conflict and the history of the region as you think, and age plays a major factor. Hell, you're not as informed on a lot of topics as you think. I want you to think about what you were doing 5 years ago. Were you still running around on the playground? Were you making dioramas for a science class? Were you in high school worried about being a first year? Were you just starting to pick out colleges or deciding to even go? Did you ever call a teacher by their first name? Now, there is a line that we hear thrown about that people don't fully mature till they're 25. While this is bupkis and misrepresents the research, it is true that the brain does not stop developing till sometime in the mid to late 20s. In fact, the brains of undergraduates age 18-22 and their respective thought patterns more closely resemble high schoolers than they do mid 20s and above. So what does this mean in the course of the I/P conflict? For one thing, this is your first incident. Your first I/P war. Those of us in our 30s and above have seen a good number of them at this point. I even remember when the use of child suicide bombers became a standard method for Hamas and other terrorist groups during the Second Intifada. As such, many of us are used to the manipulation that we see in this particular region. We're used to seeing antisemitism be dismissed and well intentioned people be manipulated. Many of us are just tired because you're going through the same shit we did at your age and we look back and go "oh, we were severely misinformed". Because this is your first, you're super passionate about it, but that passion can be manipulated. Second, you're not as smart or well informed as you think you are. This has to do with the age and maturation thing mentioned above. While 25 is an arbitrary number, there are some milestones that happen by then. By 25 you have had enough life experience to really start piecing together your education, your life experiences, your world experiences, and your respective beliefs into a coherent way of approaching topics. Hopefully by that age you're less likely to have the emotional outburst in response to a subject (think about the stereotypical slamming the door teenager behavior, many of us did that and we cringe thinking about it) and more likely to approach something in a levelheaded and informed manner. Unfortunately there is some research that shows evidence that Gen Z and Millenials are susceptible to propaganda and misinformation, with the former exhibiting behavior akin to Boomers. So keep that in mind that none of us are safe for misinformation, but some generations are worse than others. Now, who am I to say this to you? Some of you are quite mad right at the moment. Some of you have strived to be seen as well informed young adults or to be taken seriously, and in some cases you are. However...
I'm in my 30s and I have been teaching at the college level for a decade and some change now. By no means am I an expert, but I have enough experience to say something. The ages I teach are 18+, meaning I've had students that are typical fresh high school grads and students that are in their 50s. Myself and my colleagues have heard repeatedly from students the "I'm an adult, I know what I'm doing" line to only watch that 18-22 y.o. student fail miserably or come crying to us later. I have personally watched students go through the stages of grief as they realized in my classes that their pet science activism is not what they thought, but they've wrapped so much of their identity around it. You're still learning, and thinking you know more just because you read something online is an issue. You're also still growing and developing as a person. Recognize that you can be manipulated. Recognize that you can be wrong. Recognize your own inherent biases. Then do better.
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jlushie · 1 year
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Giving Them the Bouquet {Stardew Valley: Alex, Elliot, Seb, and Shane}
Yes, some fluffy confessions from all the marriage candidates. I always wanted them each to have a different reaction but they all pretty much say the same thing T_T
Giving them the bouquet before the ten heart event also always confused me, since they always end up confessing even though the bouquet symbolizes dating? I’m not quite sure. I’ll just assume most of everyone is shy or something lolol
Also, I’d like to apologize for my long hiatus. I’m going to be slowly, but surely, answer (almost) everything in my inbox. I swear I’m not ignoring any of you T_T
I hope this makes up for it, at least a little bit.
Anyhow, enjoy the story!
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Alex:
After getting the letter from Pierre (who somehow creepily knew about your not so obvious crush on Alex), you rush to the store to get the bouquet. Sure, you literally had no plan on what to do, but you were already struggling with your feelings towards Alex and how to tell him. Even if it was super creepy of Pierre, you were not going to waste this opportunity!
For a moment, as you stood at the entrance of his house, shaking in your boots as you waited for someone to answer the door, you wondered if you really HAD to go through with it. I mean, surely it wasn’t too late…but before you could even turn around, Evelyn opens the door.
She greets you warmly, and then sees the bouquet. If you’re easy to fluster, I’m sorry. She’s going to giggle at you and probably say some things like;
“Oh my… You must be giving that to my dear grandson, yes?”
“They’re so beautiful, just like you, my dear. Alex is so lucky to have someone like you.”
“Ah… Young love… I remember when George had given me a bouquet all those years ago…”
“I’ll prepare the vase while you go talk with him. He’s in his room.”
She means no ill will, she’s literally sunshine and innocence mashed into an elderly woman.
She’ll happily invite you inside, and I imagine you’d just book it to his room after an encounter like that. You probably take a deep breath once more before knocking onto his door.
He opens the door for you (and luckily he has a shirt on so you won’t be distracted :D), and his face lightens up the moment he sees you.
“Oh, hey farmer! I was actually just about to head over to the farm to check up on ya… I haven’t seen you all day so I just got a bit worried… B-But y-you don’t have to always talk to me! I-I mean I totally always want to talk to you-! W-Wait that sounds… Let me start over…“
You ask if you can come in, and he quickly lets you in, cursing under his breath since he believed he was acting stupid. He closes the door, but right when he turns around, he’s beyond shocked.
You, the person he believed to be the cutest thing in Pelican Town since you had moved here, had a large bouquet of flowers in your hands, holding them out for him to take. He kept looking between the flowers and you, pretty unsure what to do tbh
It’s not until you finish your confession that he actually takes them, a super cute, but goofy smile spreading on his face as he rubs the back of his neck while holding the flowers close to him.
“I-I’m really happy you told me…! T-Thanks! I-I’ll totally accept this, yeah!”
It might seem like a really weird way to accept your feelings but give this man a break. He seems confident but he can just make himself flustered so quickly.
He’d probably ask you a lot of questions pretty quickly. He’s kinda a flustered chatterbox if you couldn’t tell.
He’d ask things like how long you had liked him, or if you knew he liked you, or what he could call you, etc.
You’d probably have to make him stop talking, but he’d still be so happy either way.
After a bit, Evelyn walks into the room with a vase, which sure, flustered you and Alex a bit more than previously, but it’s quickly lightened up with a plate of cookies, and an invite to dinner.
Even if you’d only given the bouquet to Alex like 20 minutes ago, he’s already planning a date to the saloon <333
Elliott:
I actually imagine Elliott would be quite a comforting person to be around, so compared to some of the others, while still be scary, it’s be a way more chill confession, if that makes any sense what so ever
Maybe it’s because he’s a romantic, so he’d understand no matter the outcome. So for this, we’re gonna say you’re a little excited to tell Elliott. Definitely nervous, but at least you’ll get it off your chest!
You bought the bouquet, and pretty much skipped out his house. When you arrived at his door, you were surprised to see he wasn’t there. He usually stayed at his house during this time, and surly he would have let you know. He usually let you know of any schedule changes he had so you two could always spend time together.
Willy had been walking by and saw you waiting at the door in a confused sort of trance.
“Ah, Farmer Y/n… You just missed Elliott.”
You ask if he knows where Elliott had gone. He lets out a laugh and winks at you.
“Yep. He told me he was headin’ to Pierre’s… Said he wanted to get a bouquet for a very special person.”
Willy let out another laugh, but was horrified to see how heartbroken you looked. He didn’t mean that in the way that you think at all. Your head held low, causing Willy to panic. You had run off before he had a chance to clear it up.
You had run off back to the farm, passed all the concerned villagers. When you got home, you gently tossed the bouquet onto the table and fell flat onto your bed, and stared up at the ceiling.
What you didn’t know was that Elliott was looking around frantically for you. He had no idea where you could be! Maybe you were in the mines? Or maybe you went to Ginger Island, or the Skull Caverns? He’d already been by your farm a couple times before you went home, so he just assumed you weren’t home.
At the end of the day, he walked home in defeat, the bouquet in his hands as he dragged himself to his house. Willy had stayed up specifically to tell him what had occurred, since he felt awful for it. Elliott wasn’t mad, but actually both worried and flustered over the news he was given.
You came to his house with a bouquet?? Were you going to give it to him????? WHY DIDN’T HE JUST WAIT A LITTLE LONGER THEN-
He thanked Willy before heading off to bed, already setting his alarm clock to the earliest time possible.
You had woken up from the knocking on your door. It wasn’t too surprising, since the villagers sometimes did have the tendency to wake you up even earlier than you already woke up. It was probably the fact you’d been pretty upset over the Elliott thing that you were a bit grumpy to answer the door. You contemplated even getting up, but did so anyway. You groggily opened the door, but woke the hell up when seeing Elliott at the door, bouquet in his hands.
It all suddenly clicked, and you felt a little embarrassed for before. It was a bit visible on your expression, but Elliott didn’t seem to mind, and only focused on you with a flustered, but loving smile.
You sat in silence for a second. Before Elliott could even speak, you held your hand up to quiet him for a moment to run and get the bouquet you had gotten for him, running back to the door with it in your hands.
Both do you were practically tomatoes from being so red. Elliott’s smile widened, bending down a bit to get a bit closer to your face.
“Mind if I come in? We can talk over breakfast.”
Oh you’ll definitely talk
Shane:
Honestly, I imagine you’d be super hesitant for a couple days after you received the letter from Pierre. It’d probably be a couple days of a lot of thinking and consideration.
Then, one day, Jas had approached you.
You had grown a bit closer to her when you befriended Shane, and she seemed to really enjoy your company. She always wanted to play with you and sometimes joined you and Shane when you hung out. So usually, it wouldn’t bother you if she approached you, but it was raining pretty hard. You essentially screeched like a barbarian when you saw her drenched in water before you had dragged her under a large tree at the farm.
You rambled a bit about her, mostly regarding her health and the chance she could get sick in this weather.
“Sorry… I just needed to ask you something…”
She looked a bit saddened, but you quickly explained to her that you weren’t mad, just worried. And she could ask you anything, just preferably not in the rain. And since your house was the closest, you had urged her inside.
You brought her a towel to dry off, then turned on the fireplace. You had also made the two of you some hot chocolate, and Jas was more than delighted to drink it. As you both sat near the fire, Jas had asked you the big question she had come all this way to ask;
“Are you in love with Uncle Shane?”
You choked on your hot chocolate, but Jas just stared at you innocently. You didn’t really deny it, mostly because you were recovering from choking on the hot chocolate, but as soon as you did, your first question was why she wanted to ask such a thing.
“Miss Penny read us a fairy tail where the people in the book were in love, but they didn’t tell each other. It reminded me of you and Uncle Shane. You two are always red around each other and get nervous.”
You stuttered over your words, trying your best to come up with a response, but to no avail. Jas just smiled.
“You should tell him! He really likes you too. He never stops talking about you. And he gets all smiley.”
Is that true??? SERIOUSLY??? DID JAS JUST TELL ON SHANE?!
Afterwards, Marnie came in search of Jas, and the little girl had left. Though, the things she had said never really left your mind. That was probably the moment you had made the decision to give Shane the bouquet.
The next day, you headed straight to Pierre’s after taking care of your farm. And afterward, headed straight to Marnie’s barn, since it was Shane’s day off… You bumped into Jas on the way, who was pretty excited when she realized you were going to tell him. She had to go off and play with Vincent, but her mood was brightened and she skipped her way to her friend.
You pretty much went straight to Shane’s room, bouquet behind your back. Shane opened the door, and the moment he saw you, a smile spread on his face.
“Oh, hey Farmer. What’s up?”
You ask if you could talk, and Shane gets visibly nervous. I feel like if anyone hears the words ‘let’s talk,’ they panic a little.
Once you two were alone, he was shifting a bit. It made you feel bad to get him all fidgety, since it wasn’t your intention to make him a bit frazzled. But, you were here to do what you had mentally declared you were going to do. You pulled out the bouquet, and the second you did his eyes are wide, and his face flushed up.
You managed to get out your confession pretty well. You were as fidgety as he was in the beginning, but in the end, you had the courage to look him in the eyes.
He looked a bit worried, and looked away a bit shyly. It made you think for a second that he was going to reject you, but that wasn’t really the case.
“I… I really… I feel the same about you. But don’t be offended when I say this… Are you sure you really like me? I mean… I’ve struggled. I still struggle. I just want to make sure you’ll be happy with me if this is really what you want.”
Comfort him.
Tell him the honest truth; That you do indeed want this, and you want him. You really love him, and you want to be happy with him.
After that, he’d take the bouquet, albeit, a bit shyly.
“I-If you’re sure… Then… I’ll accept this. Thank you…”
Sebastian:
I imagine there would be a lot of thought and consideration, like Shane. You definitely love Sebastian, no doubt about that. It’s more the concern should you tell him or should you not. Plus, most assume that he likes Abigail. All of that would be a lot to consider.
However, you my dear have the determination to be honest with your feelings. Despite everything, you really wanted to tell Sebastian, even if it didn’t end well. Plus it almost felt like he knew at this point with how obvious you thought you were being.
So, you bought the bouquet. It made you a little more nervous when looking down at the bundle of flowers, since Sebastian didn’t really favor flowers in any way. But maybe it’d be the meaning that he’d truly appreciate? You didn’t know at this point, only getting more and more nervous the closer you got to his house.
Though, you could quickly tell when coming inside that something wasn’t right in the house. Robin looked grumpy and her husband wasn’t anywhere in sight. Robin barely even took notice of you, grumpily shaving down some wood.
You were kinda happy about that though. It’d be a bit awkward for Robin to fawn over you right before you were going to confess to her son-
Anyhow, you walked inside of his room, freezing up a bit when seeing Sebastian sitting on his bed, leaning against the wall with an angry expression. He seemed deep in thought, not even noticing you at the door.
He eventually saw you when you sat down beside him, the bouquet behind your back as you looked at him with concern. You were quick to ask Sebastian what was wrong. Had something upset him?
Sebastian let out a sigh, looking up at the ceiling. “Demetrius is what’s wrong. He got into a fight with my mom about me, saying I should be out of the house by now... He never brought Maru up at all though.”
Demetrius’ favoritism always made your blood boil. He seriously had no right to treat Sebastian in such a mean way. And frankly, you didn’t like the way he talked to Robin either. You were quick to side with Sebastian, letting him know of such to. You assured him he did nothing wrong, and Demetrius had no right to say that.
Obviously, it felt weird to give him a bouquet in that moment, so you just... hid it behind your back. You had pretty much given up on the idea of telling him now... But hey, maybe another time.
But obviously, Sebastian can see the colorful abundance of flowers brooding from your back, and so of course he would ask.
You tried to avoid it, even trying to blame it on the ol' farming excuse, but Sebastian wasn't impressed. He sighed, looking down at the ground with a frustrated expression.
"You're giving someone a bouquet, aren't you?"
His expression morphed from frustration into sadness.
"...Just go and give it to them... You don't have to pity me anymore."
you stared in utter bewilderment. Did he... not even consider these were for him? You quickly pushed the bouquet into his hands, correcting him and saying they were for him, not for anyone else.
His face was flushed in red as he stared at you with wide eyes.
"...S....Seriously?"
You'll have to tell him a few times they are for him. He'll always need to hear it a few times before it really kicks in.
He takes a shaky breath, looking down at the bouquet as a slow smile stretched on his lips.
"Cool... cool... Thanks."
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hannaxjo · 5 months
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Alan Rickman, David Thewlis, Gary Oldman and all those are iconic in their roles in Harry Potter, but I’ll always be a bit sad about that casting, because having that ‘Marauders era’ cast be age appropriate would’ve just been so much better for the story.
Sirius wasn’t this old man who spent 12 years in Azkaban, no he got locked up at 21. He spent almost third of his life in a cell. He wasn’t this wise father figure to Harry, he was a reckless thirty-something who never really got the chance to mature past 21.
Remus was an exhausted, bone deep tired man carrying both physical and mental scars from the suffering he went through. Because he’s a werewolf, because of the war, because he lost all of his friends. And he’s only 33 when first introduced.
And Snape. Snape wasn’t an old bitter man who just hated everyone and enjoyed being antagonistic. He was 31 in Harry’s first year. He began to work for Voldemort as a teen, and as a double agent at 20. He’s a thirty-something bitter man, who never got to really live or make real connections. From Harry’s perspective he’s scary and intimidating, but really he’s just kinda…sad and pathetic. And then especially that scene where Snape is begging Dumbledore to help save Lily, and promising anything in return. (Because apparently Dumbledore needs something in return…for saving people.) He’s twenty. Barely out of his teens. Rickman was good in that scene, but having someone who actually looks twenty, would better show how scared, young, guilty and just desperate he was. That might not put Dumbledore in such a good light, though.
And then, the characters I think would’ve been the most important to cast age appropriately. And most people probably already agree and know who I’m talking about. James and Lily. They were 21 when they died. When Harry sees them in the mirror of Erised, they’re 10 years older than him. That’s the age difference Ron has with Bill. In that scene I might understand somewhat them being in their thirties, because that’s what Harry wants. He wants his life with his parents, he wants to have been raised by them. Though, I don’t know if the mirror could know what they might’ve looked like in their thirties, since they didn’t live that long. But then, in the cemetery when Voldemort’s wand spits the last spells cast, we see Lily and James as they were. 21. They’re telling their son to hold on just a moment longer. And they are 7 years older than him. In Deathly Hallows, Harry sees Voldemort kill them. They’re not this happy couple who’s got to love each other for a long time, only to have that happiness torn from them, no they started at Hogwarts ten years ago. They’re 21, and they’ve barely tasted that happiness. At the end of the book Harry talks to his parents. They comfort him and promise to stay with him, as he goes to die. Harry’s seventeen. James and Lily are four years older than him.
It wouldn’t have felt as nice. Harry being comforted by someone who looks almost his age. But it wasn’t nice. It was pretty tragic. Casting people who look 21, would’ve really made it land on the audience. It was a tragedy. They were barely adults.
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joelsgoldrush · 11 months
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swore i heard you whisper that you preferred us like that
joel miller x f!reader / 5,8k words
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summary: you ask joel –the quiet, distant joel– to teach you how to ride a horse. they say the eyes are the window to the soul, and it must be true, because when he really sees you, it´s like he finally understands what you feel for him.
warnings: smut 18+ let’s pretend joel never left jackson, porn with plot, no use of y/n, age gap (reader is in her late 20s, joel is 56), grinding, oral (f receiving), fingering, masturbation, pet names, unprotected p in v (don't try this at home ok), dirty talk, soft!dom joel (sort of???), a bit of angst/feelings, joel gets all babygirl around reader, ellie appears for like a minute, mediocre attempt at recreating joel's southern accent (sorry in advance)
a/n: hello??? well this is my first fic ever so bear with me, i'm still new to all this. also english isn't my first language so i'm afraid there may be mistakes (mostly when it comes to collocations bc i hate them and they confuse me), buuuut i'm learning obviously and if you find anything that should be corrected PLEASE TELL ME thank you :) i'd appreciate if you told whether you liked this story (idk what to call it tbh) but if you don't it's more than fine! anyways thank you so much for reading if you come across this fic, i hope you like it! i've spent a week writing it bc finals season is killing me &lt;///3
here's my masterlist in case you want to read my other works :)
"Oh, my drunken southern star / How you tried to hide in darkness / Slipped from orbit / Now you’re dangerously close / Come out, come out from all your hiding out / We’ll dig in our heels, salute the battlefields / Where our broken hearts were born."
What is it that he has?
You used to ask yourself that question every night as you went to bed. On some occasions, you couldn't manage to come up with an exact answer. There were too many reasons that disclosed why a man like him lingered on your mind, even in those moments that were supposed to be for you and only you. Sleeping more than three hours a day was definitely something you needed tremendously, but still, the not-so-rational voice inside your head kept on bringing his name up without fail, disturbing your rest.
Joel Miller. Was it possible to feel like this? Like you knew somebody without having exchanged more than five words with them? Sure, there wasn't a single person in Jackson who wasn't aware of his existence. From whispered rumors in the streets to stories that intended to give his reserved personality an explanation, Joel became a real talking-point among those in the commune. Years ago, when the world was still just a floating ball in space, he would’ve frightened you, being the kind of person your parents used to warn you about as you started to grow older.
He walked a certain way, as if he were holding the suffering of many lives in his hands. Always on guard, prepared to fight those who defied him. Hidden knives in his pockets, a gun between his fingers, the trigger too tempting to be pulled at any time given. His hair was a mixture of brown and gray, and you swore that the latter was only becoming more prominent as days went by. 
Suddenly, your pillow felt too uncomfortable, your hands fisting the fabric of your t-shirt while you kicked the blanket resting on top of your bare feet. A sigh escaped your lips, the taste of something you couldn't even distinguish on your tongue, your unsteady breath being the only sound to be heard in that noiseless night. 
You were having a hard time figuring out how you felt about Joel (if there was anything to feel in the first place, since he barely remembered your face and there you were, fantasizing about him instead of sleeping.) Maybe you liked how he presented himself, how bossy and persistent he looked the times you caught him patrolling around the zone. Or perhaps it was his character what charmed you in the first place, and the fact that, deep down, a different side from him remained completely unseen.
He was handsome, too. Tall, broad shoulders, aquiline nose. His arms looked majestic in every single piece of clothing he wore, his tanned skin shiny enough to reflect the very same sun. And his legs… you were sure they were muscular like the rest of his body, because of all the physical effort he did. You had  heard that he worked as a contractor before the pandemic, which made a lot of sense. Once or twice you had paid attention to his hands and–
Then, a familiar feeling sinked in. Warm began spreading through your belly, your thighs involuntary clenching together. “Fuck,” you muttered in a low tone, keeping your hands glued to your sides. Another motive not to think about Joel: he made you feel… things. Certain things that you hadn't felt for anyone in a very long time. You preferred to think that it was probably due to the fact that you were touch-starved, and not because you found yourself deeply attracted to him. Never had you ever been a sexually active person, so why now? Why did the mere image of Joel in your mind turn you on? 
He’s strong. I’m alone. I feel the need to find someone who’s willing to protect me. That’s it. No other reason.
Your internal monologue was lacking in arguments, but it was definitely something you could work with. As if on cue, you found it hard to keep your eyes open, your limbs not feeling as if they were yours anymore. Next thing you knew, you were asleep.
That night, you dreamt with Joel.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
In a small cabin, you taught children how to paint and draw. Maria believed it to be helpful for their psychological development or something like that, and you had agreed to do it. A good way to spend your free time– that’s what it was. Plus, you liked children; some would even choose to include you in their drawings, and that small gesture just warmed your heart.
There, you met Ellie, a teenager whose basic vocabulary consisted mostly of profanities. 
And boy, you loved Ellie.
It was hard not to, actually. She was like a breath of fresh air, with her jokes and instant charm. You two became attached in a short time, and she reminded you of a younger version of you, just a lot braver. Although in this world it brought her benefits, you sometimes wished she wouldn’t have gone through all that shit. Those eyes, which squinted as she laughed if you tickled her sides, were the cemetery of many buried memories. You wondered how she managed to put a smile on her face despite her past and the horrible things she had seen, hoping it was genuine and not a mask.
“Look!” her voice brought you back to reality. Blinking in her direction, you realized the amount of paint you had dropped onto the floor, a red stain already forming on the carpet. “Are you okay? You seem off.”
“I’m fine! Just a bit sleepy today, that's all,” you got closer to where she was lying down, her fingers moving the brush you had gifted her in different directions. Squatting a bit, you placed a strand of hair that didn’t make it into her ponytail behind her ear. “So, what are you painting?”
She smiled warmly, and her teeth catched her lower lip momentarily. “It’s not finished, okay? Don’t freak out. I know you’re a perfectionist.”
“I’m not…” you tried to explain yourself, but ended up choosing to be defeated. “Maybe you’re right. Anyway, may I see it?”
The canvas was in your hands a few moments later. Ellie spoke beside you, her words mixing together in a sign of embarrassment. “It’s for Joel. Figured I could do something nice for him, you know? I don’t– I think I need to start over. His eyes look kind of strange, don’t they? They’re so close he looks like a cyclops.”
“Don’t say that, kiddo. This is… it’s beautiful,” your index finger traced the lines framing his jaw, the shades of his skin perfectly achieved. You held the painting even tighter, afraid of breaking it for a second. He wasn’t frowning like he normally did; Ellie had painted him smiling, and the crinkles by his eyes matched his age. Surely you must have spent more time than necessary staring at it, ‘cause then Ellie continued talking.
“Well, you know what they say: The student has become the teacher.” 
You handed the canvas to her, a smirk taking place on your face. “Yeah, I guess I’ll stop teaching you if that’s the case.”
An hour or so later, someone knocked on the door. As both of your hands were occupied (a more formal way to say that they were dirty with paint), you screamed “Come in!”, and Ellie covered her painting with an old, muddy curtain you used to clean the tables in which the children worked. You were about to ask her why she had reacted in that way, until you turned around and saw him.
Joel was there, as every other Wednesday. In your cabin, standing right in front of you. And you didn’t even look presentable. His hair looked messy, a couple of locks stuck to his forehead with sweat. “Hi,” he said shortly, meeting your gaze and attempting to shake your hand, but you avoided contact.
Showing him your hands, you held your palms in the air as an indication of the still fresh paint on your skin. “Sorry. If I were to accept the gesture, I’d leave you a stain.”
He retrieved a bit, adjusting his glove. “It’s okay. Safety first.”
That was supposed to be a joke, you noticed tardily. The silence in the room persisted until Ellie appeared from behind your back, already putting her coat on.
“You were supposed to pick me up in half an hour, asshole.”
His mouth snapped shut for an instant. “I missed you too. How was the class?” 
Ellie lifted her shoulder in a half shrug, looking in your direction and proceeding to jerk her thumb toward Joel. She didn’t want him to see the painting. “Fine as usual.”
“Can I see what you’re–”
“No fucking way!” she accentuated the word fucking, drawing him closer to the door. 
“Why not?”
“Because it’s not done.”
“But–”
“No more questions, Joel. Let’s go! Say bye!” Ellie handled him like a baby, which made you giggle.
Though you saw Joel raising his eyebrows, so you stopped laughing. 
Soon, they left and the cabin returned to its familiar quietness. A sigh erupted from your chest, and you allowed yourself to fall on top of a chair.
At least you could say you had actually talked to Joel for once.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
It didn’t surprise you that you wanted to see him again.
Not in the “you-turn-me-on” way, but in the “you-seem-interesting-and-i-need-to-find-out-why” one.
He had something. Something so magnetic and indecipherable that kept pulling you towards him. Something that made you look for his presence in every crew, and not sensing what it was only made your wishes to dissect him grow bigger. There was a tiny probability that he was an idiot with a pretty face. Who knew? You definitely didn’t, and that needed to change. You deserved to know if pining over that man was worth it or not.
That chain of thoughts led you to look for him the next day, almost trembling with eagerness as you asked him the most stupid and unexpected question you could have imagined.
“Would you teach me how to ride a horse?”
He looked at you as if you were out of your mind, opening his mouth a few times and then closing it before he actually replied to you. “You’re tellin' me you don’t know how to ride a horse?”
“Tried it a few times, but failed and now I really want to learn to do it properly,” you swore his eyes were trying to decipher if you were saying the truth or not. “Ellie told me that you could probably make some time to teach me?”
“So Ellie's in charge of my schedule, I suppose?” you froze on the spot, and he must have noticed it because then his expression dulled. “Sorry, sweetheart. It was a joke. I've been told I'm not the best humorist.”
Sweetheart. You could’ve died a happy girl.
“Look, why don’t we meet up tomorrow after lunch? I'm sure it won’t take us much time. Not a difficult task, y’know?” he stroked his beard, apparently thinking you understood what he was talking about. 
“Sure. Thank you, Joel. My name’s–“
He didn’t let you finish. “I do know your name,” and before leaving, he repeated: “I’ll be here tomorrow. You know where to find me.”
To say that you slept without interruptions that night was an understatement. Each hour seemed to become longer the more you glimpsed your watch. Your heart drummed inside your chest violently, and you feared that someone else would be able to hear it if they got close enough to you. 
After having lunch in the same spot as every other mundane day, your legs took you to the stable. You took a shaky breath, expecting him to appear out of thin air, but fifteen minutes went by, and there was still no sign of Joel. Pressing your forehead against the wooden door, you wrapped your arms around yourself. “What was I even thinking?” 
“Hey.”
You looked to your side and– there he was, already getting inside the stable and inviting you to follow him. Joel petted one of the horses, clicking his tongue. His fingers caressed the animal’s back, and when he shot a glance at you, he didn’t ignore your disturbed expression.
“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of horses.”
“I’m not afraid of them,” you laughed awkwardly, eyeing the horse, which stared at you with those big and strange eyes. You raised your hand to mimic Joel, but that just made the animal move further away from you. “I guess it’s mutual. We don’t like each other.”
Joel smirked, guiding you outside. “It’s a damn horse. I don’t think you can tell whether he likes you or not. You gotta change that attitude of yours,” he murmured as he got on top of the horse, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Treat him well and he’ll be nice.”
At first, Joel taught you the basics: how to position yourself for balance, get your legs in the right position, hold the reins properly. A little bit of help coming from him was needed for you to mount the horse. He got down on one knee, patting it as if it were a mounting block. “Come on. Step on it.”
No need to ask me twice, you thought as you did what you were told, and once you were grabbing on those reins for dear life, you observed him with curious eyes. “Now what?”
“Now…” he pressed his hand into one of the horse’s sides, and afterwards, the horse began to fucking trot and you cried out, a high-pitched shriek slipping from your mouth. Joel laughed maliciously, almost hypnotized by the scene. “Now is when you learn how to ride a horse!”
“This isn't funny!” you screamed, the horse still very much entertained with the way you were jerking on top of him. “Stop!”
You couldn't believe how he kept… cracking up. Joel touched his stomach, shaking with laughter. “You’re a natural, can’t you see it? I’m havin' the time of my life here.”
“What I can see is that you’re an idiot! Cut the cackle and help me!”
But he didn’t move a single muscle. Instead, he remained still, that smug look never abandoning his features.
The bastard. “You’re gonna make me beg? In this situation?”
Crossing his arms while teasingly grinning at you, he added: “Wouldn’t hurt to try.”
“Joel Miller, will you help me? Pretty please?” your hair was getting in the way, and you could taste it as you insisted. “Is that enough for you?”
It was, actually. He helped you get down from the horse, his thick fingers digging into the mushy skin of your waist. It shouldn’t have felt that good, but it did. You were supposed to be angry at him for setting you up and still, by touching you for a microsecond, he had transformed you into something malleable.
Sadly, that feeling didn’t last much longer. “Didn’t know you were a man of manners. Should’ve told me beforehand.”
“Didn't know you could scream like that. I hope you didn’t freak anyone out.”
The two of you continued to practice until nightfall. A thing you also learned, apart from horse riding, was that Joel was a determined man. Everytime you tried to quit, he stopped you, making it impossible for you to rest. You stared at him, rubbing the back of your sore neck with a grimace. “I’m tired. Can we go back?”
“One more time.”
“Joel–”
“Trot a couple of meters just one more time, and that’s it for today. Can you do that for me?”
You tried not to pay too much attention to his choice of words, although it was basically non-viable. He looked sinful, and you longed to shut him up with a bruising kiss. Again, a hopeless option. Your hands itched to touch him, to feel his stubble, rough and coarse under your thumbs. How could you stay focused when the man you had been daydreaming with for the last couple of months was bossing you around? 
Despite your inability to clear your head of any of those thoughts, you managed to accomplish what he had asked you to do. “Well done,” he offered you his hand to dismount the horse and you accepted it, sighing as you stretched out your arms. “We should take him back to the stable,” Joel suggested, giving you the impression of being pleased as you told him you were coming with him.
Inside the stable, he relocated the horse into one of the many stalls. Unbelievably, the place didn’t smell like absolute shit, which was what you were expecting from a barn. “Thank you for the lesson,” you told Joel once he was done with the horse.
“Anytime,” he scratched his jaw, the dim light making his dark eyes look, if possible, even darker. “It wasn’t that bad, was it?”
“No. You were right,” your heart thrummed with every word that he blurted. His presence was addictive. You were never the one to have any bad habits, but deep down, you recognized that he easily could develop one. “I thought you were less talkative.”
“So did I,” for an instant, he pressed his lips together, forming a tight line, as if he had said something he shouldn’t have in the first place. “I think I didn’t ask you this before: but why now? I mean, why did you wait so much time to learn how to ride a horse? Everyone in Jackson seems to know how.”
You cleared your throat, his piercing eyes peering at your movements. “I guess I thought it wasn't necessary back then, before all this. It's one of those things that you don't even consider until it becomes inevitable. I used to believe I had a lot of time left when I was younger,” you had never talked about this with anyone else. There was something so intimate about this conversation, how Joel stood seemingly tongue-tied in front of you, as if he were taking notes of what you were confessing to him. “I remember being a kid and not wanting to use my toys sometimes because I kept waiting for the right moment. But then…”
“You realize there’s no such thing as the right moment,” he finished the sentence for you, and you bowed your head. “Life can end at any moment, especially in a world like ours. That’s why you always gotta do what you wish to. We never know what’ll happen tomorrow.”
“Live for today, hope for tomorrow? That’s your creed?” you tried to mock him, the tension in the stable far from evident, but he didn’t move.
“It’s the way I try to live my own life. I don’t like being left with the desire to do somethin’ I could’ve done earlier. Too old for that.”
Maybe you were gradually losing it. Perhaps just a little. It couldn’t be a coincidence, right? Had he noticed how you acted around him? Were you that obvious?
“So, you would advise me to just…”
“Do whatever you feel right, sweetheart.”
That raspy sweetheart made you give in.
His eyes. His penetrating, gleaming eyes scrutinized your face at the same time you closed the distance between your bodies. From there, you were able to see every freckle, every small detail that you hadn’t previously acknowledged. He parted his lips, as if to speak, but no words other than your name came out. One of your hands made its way up to his cheek, cupping it, feeling the warmth his skin radiated. His head immediately leaned into your touch, like a moth into a flame. 
You kissed him, unable to keep waiting. It took him what felt like ages to kiss you back, his fingers tangling in your hair. He absorbed your whimpers, pressing your back against the nearest wall. Maddening– it was the perfect word to describe how being kissed by Joel felt like. When you thought he was going to draw away from you, he just held you tighter until your lungs implored for some air. Your knees had never felt this weak, and you found yourself grabbing onto his shoulders, already feeling the places where his stubble had left its trace in flames. 
“Joel…” you mumbled against his lips, detaching your mouth from his. Your erratic breaths seemed to sync together like a melody, and you tugged at the collar of his jacket. 
He knew, could see it on your features. “Wanna go to yours?”
Joel took you home. The moment you set foot in the cabin, he closed the door behind him, his hand lingering on the handle as he contemplated you from a distance. You took your coat off first, starting to unzip your pants. There was silence long enough to hear crickets in, the moon up in the sky being the only bystander of your meeting. His eyes roamed the newly exposed skin of your legs and you observed him gulp. 
“Did something happen?” you asked him, a flush crepting up your face. Taking a step forward, one of his hands came to rest on top of yours.
“No, it’s just that– Are you sure you want this?”
Crinkling your nose, you uttered: “Why wouldn’t I?”
“I’m just too old for you,” he warned you, running a knuckle down your cheek. “You should be with guys your age, y’know? Not with an old man like me.”
“I want you,” reassuring him, you got rid of your t-shirt, and the fact he was still dressed up from neck to toes lit some kind of fire inside you. His calloused fingers fiddled with the strap of your bra until it slipped off your shoulder. “This is what I want. Please, Joel.”
It turned out that Joel Miller certainly was a man of manners.
You couldn't help but moan as he grabbed you by the waist, dragging you to the couch by the window and straddling his lap, his hard-on finding its place beneath you, pulsing and in need of more. His tongue brushed yours ever so often, and your eyes rolled to the back of your head as his teeth latched onto the skin of your throat. Joel groaned, the sound, low and primal, having its desired effect on you, your hips involuntarily grinding against his in a delicious but tormenting rhythm that already had you on the verge of tears.
“Joel, please,” you managed to plead, not knowing precisely what you were asking for. His hands cupped your ass, imprinting his fingerprints on the soft flesh, forcing your hips to go harder and harder. The harsh fabric of his pants was definitely going to leave a mark on your cheeks, and thinking that helped you realize that you were the only one –almost– naked. You reached for the buttons of his denim shirt, your lips hovering over his. “Take your clothes off?”
He did the rest himself, throwing his jacket to the floor. When he got to his jeans, he cocked his head. “Why don’t we move this to the bedroom, if you’re so goddamn needy?” The few guys you had been with had never been very talkative during sex; there was even this one specific boy who had asked you to not make a sound while he fucked you. 
But Joel wasn’t like them. It was just starting and you had already realized that he had a dirty mouth, an expectant look on his face every time he waited for your reaction to his words. “Now you’re quiet, huh? Thought you wanted me to fuck you, darlin',” one of his fingers pressed down on your clit, stimulating it through your underwear. He sighed, stopping his movements and pressing the damp pad of it against your lower lip, urging you to taste yourself. “You’re wet, baby. So fuckin’ wet. Have you been like this all day? Bet you would’ve let me take you right there in the forest.”
“Oh my God,” you whined next to his ear, your whole body trembling with desire. “Take me to bed,” you begged him, and next thing you knew, he was grabbing you as if you weighed nothing and heading towards your room. 
Not knowing how, you kept your hands to yourself until he placed you on top of the bed. Joel shoved his jeans down and you didn’t think twice– you stroked his length, the fabric of his boxers only making the slow drag of your hand more satisfying. His long fingers circled your throat, and you moaned as you kept eliciting exquisite noises from him. “Let me take care of you,” his dilated pupils carved holes in your being, his grip doing nothing to cease the ache between your legs. “Please, baby. I need to make you feel good. Been thinkin’ about this for so long.”
“What?” you slowed down your pace, looking up at him through your eyelashes. “You wanted me?”
“Why do you think I began to pick Ellie up from your classes, huh? Because I’m a good, generous man?” Joel parted your knees, getting closer to where you required him the most. “I’m sorry to ruin this, but I’m far from good. Just wanted to see you and your pretty face. Didn’t know if we were on the same page until you came lookin' for me, askin' me to teach you how to ride a damn horse,” you hadn’t noticed your bra was missing till he cupped one of your breasts, flicking your nipple between his fingers. “I’m sure there were many other people you could’ve asked to teach you, but you chose me, didn’t you?”
“Don’t want anybody else,” your lips chased his, a drop of sweat already rolling down your temple. “I didn’t– didn’t know you noticed me.”
“How could I not? If you could only look at yourself like I’m doing right now… You’re a sight, sweetheart, all spread out for me,” removing your panties, he kissed the skin where your inner thighs met, his tongue darting out to draw imaginary figures on your flesh. His mouth was just inches away from your cunt, and you had to tell him.
“Joel?”
“What’s wrong?”
“I’ve never– nobody has ever done that for me.”
He seemed to understand what you were referring to. It made you tense a bit, despite the fact that you were completely naked in front of him, basically begging him to tear you apart. Still, the realization that you weren't as expert as him hit you out of nowhere. Yeah, it was all fun and games, kissing and touching probably the hottest man you had seen in your almost three decades of life. But said man was a lot older than you, and he had lived his best years in the real world, not this fucked up version you grew up in. You were sure he had been with many different women, which wasn’t a problem– you two were nothing.
“Nobody has ever tasted ya’? That’s what you’re tryin’ to tell me?” you nodded quickly, shoving a strand of his graying hair back away from his eyes. Joel chuckled languidly, squeezing your hips. “Do you want me to? It’s okay if you don’t. We can try somethin’ else.”
“Please,” you’d have time to embarrass yourself later, thinking about the amount of times you had repeated that word. But certain moments were to be lived only once, and though you hoped it wasn't the case, you had to take the chance. “I want you to.”
Four words. It took Joel four words to disappear between your legs, licking a hot stripe up your folds. You nibbled on your bottom lip, a loud moan filling the void of your dorm. He drew sweet patterns in your cunt, discovering a part of you that no one else ever had, and you couldn’t help but to grind against his face as he dipped the tip of his tongue into your entrance. Breathing wasn’t a necessity anymore. You felt as if all the air in the world was being punched out of your lungs, the knot in your belly growing tighter the more Joel spent his precious time keeping you entertained.
At some point, he focused his attention on your clit, circling it over and over again, making you shudder. Suddenly, the pad of his middle finger tested the waters, and he slowly slid it into your cunt, earning a strangled whine from you. Burying your hands in his hair, your glossy eyes looked for him for a second. You shouldn’t have done that, because as you took in the sight of Joel with his own eyes closed, browns knitted, your nostrils flared, and you wondered if it was even possible to want somebody that much.
“Joel, wait, I’m– fuck,” your jaw went slack and you scrunched up your face, two of his thick fingers nudging that spot that made you see stars. “I’m close.” 
“That’s a good thing, sweetheart. Don’t know why you say it in such a dry tone,” his mouth curved into a smile, his chin and stubble shining with your slick. 
Your chest rose and fell with rapid breaths. “I don’t want to come yet.”
“But you will.”
A thing you also learned, apart from horse riding, was that Joel was a determined man.
“Joel–“
“I’ll make you come with my mouth, and then with my cock,” dizziness was starting to blur your vision, your eyelashes fluttering with every hard thrust of his fingers. You glanced up to the ceiling, tears filling your eyes. “Think you can do that for me, be my good girl and come twice?”
You bobbed your head. It was official: he was going to make you come.
Drawing in a long breath, you could feel the unbearable pressure in your core. His name sounded like a prayer on your lips, chanting it in the same way some people expressed their devotion to a certain God. You had your own personal deity, whose tongue accomplished to push you to the limit, licking every drop of your release as if it were a special kind of forbidden elixir.  
Your shoulders sagged and you relaxed under him. Joel kissed you, an open mouthed and filthy kiss crowning that moment as you panted. Through the cotton fabric of his boxers, you felt his hard-on poking your thigh. Shoving his underwear down, you took him in your hand, hot and just big, stroking him for real this time. You twisted your wrist at the tip, and he slumped forward, almost crushing you with his entire body weight, his breath dampening your neck. “Wanna fuck you, baby,” he croaked, his hips chasing your touch.
Out of all the scenarios you had ever imagined, none of them included being split open by Joel. You had a very vivid imagination, but no amount of creativity would’ve prepared you for what his cock would feel like inside of you. He bottomed out, his arms shaking where they rested on each side of your head. Joel’s breath quickened as he pulled out, just letting the tip, and then thrusting into you again.
“Fuck,” you didn’t recognize your own voice. It was even hard to decipher if you were still alive or dead from how magnificent he felt.
“So good, sweetheart. You’re so good, such a good girl,” he groaned, fucking deeper into you. His cock pulsed inside you, your cunt squeezing him. “Can’t believe how– how tight you are. You’re gonna make me lose my f–fucking mind.”
It was just too much. You hadn’t even recovered from your last orgasm before Joel started pounding into you like his life depended on it, the obscene sound of skin slapping skin ringing out in the room. 
“You gonna come, huh? Gonna make a mess?” you could sense he was also close, his pace faltering as seconds went by, words slurring together. He pressed his forehead against yours, clenching his fists and taking in a sharp breath. “Fuck. I’m not gonna last much longer, baby.”
Come inside, you wished to tell him, to feel his seed dripping out of your greedy hole, painting your walls. But you weren't on the pill; it was also the first time you were sleeping with Joel, and you didn’t know how he would take the… suggestion. “Close,” you yelped instead, tears shimmering in your eyes as Joel’s body hovered over you like the most perfect eclipse. 
His thrusts became more frenzied, if possible. “That’s it, darlin’. Come for me,” your gaze fixated upon him, his eyes flickering with hunger. “Wanna see you when you soak my cock.”
Your body went limp, your orgasm hitting you like a truck. Soreness took place in your throat as you moaned his name through the aftershocks, fireworks exploding behind your eyelids. Going rigid, you let go of Joel’s shoulders. He pulled out, mumbling something you didn’t quite catch. You fisted his cock, trying to give him the release he so yearned for. Joel kissed you, messy teeth and saliva taking part of it. Heavy on your hand, his dick twitched as you squeezed the base, roped of his warm cum splattering your belly. The scene reminded you of a painting; he was the talented painter, and you his blank canvas, waiting to be signed with his name.
It was the turn of silence now. None of you said anything for a while, until Joel used his boxers to clean up his cum from your stomach, smiling apologetically at you. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” your fingers delicately traced the contours of his chest as he reclined, enveloping you in the embrace of his strong arms. “Will you stay?”
Please say yes.
“Only if you want me to.”
Moral of the story: learning how to ride a horse can actually be nice if your teacher happens to be Joel Miller.
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ineffable-suffering · 9 months
Text
Why Aziraphale is an unreliable narrator
Part 1: The Story of Job
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I'm absolutely not the first one to talk about this on here and I probably shan't be the last either. Alas, here's my take on why all of the minisodes in Season 2 should be enjoyed with great care – and taken with a grain of angelic salt.
I'm gonna split this into 3 parts, aka the three minisodes we are shown, since I tend to get a bit waffley in my posts and want to still be able to include all the little details. Once I've written them, I'll link Part 2 & Part 3 here as well!
Alright, let's get into it under the cut of doom.
Episode 2 opens with the Story of Job. Right off the bat, I noticed that it sort of looks like an old film playing. At first I didn't read that much into it, but once we see the cut-away to Aziraphale at the bookshop, currently reading that part of the Bible (presumably), I immediately thought: "Oh! It's because it's his memory. He's remembering how it went down and therefore it plays like a figurative film in his head."
This, I then came to realize, is a very crucial difference to all the flashbacks of S1, which were exclusively told and narrated by God. May her intensions be as ineffable as they are: She did tell us all of these stories from an objective outsider's point of view. Now, however, it's Aziraphale who's re-telling those stories to us from memory.
And if there's one thing that's for certain, it's that a memory is something entirely different to an objective narration of a story. Just think about how you yourself remember things. Especially things that happened years, maybe even decades (or, in an angel's case, millenia) ago. What is it, that you really remember? Can you know for sure, that a conversation was held with those exact words? Are you 100% certain that the clothes someone wore weren't different? Had it really been snowing or would that make very little sense given what you're remembering happened in May? And did it even happen in May? Or does that just happen to be your favourite month, the current weather, your preferred style of clothing and what it was that you would imagine someone would have said to you?
What I'm trying to say is: The further away it is that something happened, the more your brain has to fill in the gaps. This is why, for example, your parents will remember the family summer holiday entirely different when you ask them about it 20 years later.
"No, it was Sarah who puked on the car ride home!" "Nonsense, Sarah never puked as a child. Bobby had that gone-off pizza, he's the one that was sick the whole ride long!"
We've all been there. Bobby made it out alive. Don't buy gas station pizza.
Alright, back to the plot: Naturally, Aziraphale is not actually human, so it is a pure assumption on my part that the way his memory works is similar to ours. However, the whole topic of "memory" is actually quite a recurring one on Good Omens.
Crowley seems to have lost his in the Fall, yet somehow managed to get most of it back. Not all of it, though, he clearly has some major gaps ("You used to jump on me back, little monkey in the waistcoat!"). Beelzebub helps Gabriel store all his memories in their little fly container before they get wiped entirely too, by the Metatron and/or Saraqael. Crowley and Aziraphale (and possibly Jimbriel) perform a miracle together that makes everyone in Heaven and Hell forget who Garbiel is or what he looks like. And we know that the Book of Life apparently has the ability to completely erase someone from existence – ergo also erasing them from everyone's memory and making it is as though the person had never been in them at all.
So, clearly, angels and demons being able to remember, forget, reconstruct and, if you're the Metadork, wipe memories, is very much canon. Apart from that very last one, it does make them quite human-like in a way. We too can forget or (wrongfully and incompletely) reconstruct memories, due to things like trauma, illness or simply a lot of time having passed.
So, just like Crowley remembers going into battle but doesn't remember Furfur being there, or just like Jimbriel has entierly forgotten who he is but still remembers the tune and lyrics to Buddy Holly's song Everyday, and just like archangel Michael was miraculously made to forget Gabriel and yet says "Don't I know you?" when seeing him again – just like that, Aziraphale's memories of the story of Job, the story of wee Morag and the story of the magic show in 1941, might not actually be the whole truth.
So, time to look at where the furniture isn't.
Now, it could very well be that the costume designers of S2 thought: "Fuck it, let's go crazy" – but given that this show has a track record of meticulously making sure to stick to accurate and cohesive character design, doesn't it strike you as odd that Crowley would go from this look at the Flood in Mesopotamia, 3004 BC:
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... to the (very iconic, don't get me wrong) Bildad the Shuhuite drip in 2500 BC:
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... back to this at the crucifixion of Jesus Christ in 33 AD:
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I mean ... I mean– come on, that seems like a bit of a far stretch, even for someone as enthusiastically experimental with fashion as Crowley.
And it's not just that: Where did the sunglasses come from, all of a sudden? And why do they look like some sort of obscure, ancient optometrist's device? It's a known historical fact that the Romans were the ones to have invented sunglasses, somewhere around 50-ish AD. Which actually matches perfectly with when Crowley and Aziraphale meet again in Rome 8 years after the crucifixion (51 AD).
So, where do the weird spectacles come from, over 2000 years too early? Maybe from Aziraphale's brain filling in some gaps? Hasn't Crowley always worn those ridiculous sunglasses? Was it Rome? Or Golgotha? Wessex? Oh, blimey, what does it matter!
And it's not just Crowley: Aziraphale's own clothes, as well as the other angels', seem to be very different from the rather plain linen we see him wear before and after the story of Job.
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They're laced with golden embroidery along the neckline and sleeves. The remind almost of the clothes angels are depicted wearing in biblical and historical drawings. Ornate and decadent. Not at all like we see Aziraphale in the other flashbacks of S1.
Even Bildad the Shuhite's hair within the minisode keeps changing, going from all pouffy and voluminous to rather deflated and straight-looking:
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The costume department either had to fix up two seperate wigs or manually straighten out the volume of the one again to give it a more sleek look. I'm not a professional in this field, but if there's anything I've learned from watching hours of behind-the-scenes material of movies and shows, it's that very little about costume, character, prop and set design is purely coincidental.
You know what it could be, though? An accurate representation of how memories aren't linear, historically correct and objective representations of a certain event, but rather an ever-changing, jumbled mess of impressions, emotions and exaggerations.
More specifically: Aziraphale's impression, emotions and exaggerations.
Like "remembering" Crowley with sunglasses because he's been wearing them for so long.
Like "remembering" himself wearing more luxurious, angelic clothes because that's how he thinks of the difference between Heaven and Hell.
Like "remembering" the permit as a ridiculously long scroll that folded out over an entire valley.
Like "remembering" Job's children to be weirdly sassy in an almost Aziraphale-esque way (Enon: "Don't be silly!") for the fact that Job would have probably taught them to be more humble and obedient in the presence of a literal angel.
Like "remembering" eating an entire fucking Ox after having just one bite of it while Crowley watched him lustfully, sipping on his wine.
Like "remembering" Crowley calling him 'angel', despite them having barely known each other back then.
There's a reason why the flashbacks in S2 seem so much more alive, quirky and, at many points, confusing and all over the place. Because they're not objective stories being told by a third party. They're Aziraphale's. So much of his own thoughts and feelings at the time get projected onto them because that's simply how memory works!
It's subjective. It's unrealiable.
It's not that I'm calling Aziraphale a liar. He's no more a liar than your parents are, mixing up Sarah and Bobby. Or you, remembering snow instead of sunshine. Memories aren't lies. They can simply be faulty, focus on things that you thought were more important and leaving out or changing things that weren't, to you.
The real challenge in all of this, is trying to filter through Aziraphale's stories to see what it actually is they're telling us. Where it is that the furniture isn't. And I think in this case, that's 6 main things (eff you, God, I know you like sevens, but I don't care):
God and Satan (still) talk to each other We see that Aziraphale is quite surprised when Muriel mentions that the whole Job thing is God's bet with Satan. But clearly, despite having made him and the rest fall, God still converses with Her number one traitor about whether or not the humans simply love Her because she gives them nice things or because they truly believe in Her.
God and Satan (and Heaven and Hell) can and do collaborate with each other when they feel like it So much for choosing sides, huh? Truthfully, this is not the first time this is shown to us, but still. It's another piece of evidence on the growing pile.
Aziraphale understands the World and humans way better than any of the other angels "Well, you see ... Citis is 58 ..."
Aziraphale, despite having troubles voicing it, absolutely disagrees and even condemns God's plan of destroying Job's children (and goats and camels and––)
Aziraphale is willing to lie and thwart the will of God Also not the first time we're being shown this but again, piiiile of evidence.
Angels don't automatically Fall simply by doing the above To me, this is one of the most important take aways. It's already hinted in S1 as well that 'Falling' seems to have been a one time even back when the first war broke out in Heaven. And I actually believe that ever since then, no other angels have Fallen again. Aziraphale is the best example for this. He has gone against God's plan numerous times and even lied to her very face (voice?) about it. And yet, nothing ever happened to him. Why exactly that is the case remains a topic for another meta (that I might or might not be working on already, teehee).
Alright, that concludes this first look at the Job minisode! If there's anything I missed, feel free to share it with me. I'll try and add Part 2 (the story of wee Morag) and Part 3 (the magic show of 1941) soon.
Update: Part 2 and Part 3 have officially been written, you can find it them right here:
Part 2: The Story of wee Morag
Part 3: The Story of the Magic Show in 1941
Hugs and kisses, (God)!
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solarlunarsstuff · 3 months
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hello 👀👀👀 may i request an alastor trying to woo lucifer's oldest daughter while the big boss of hell and charlie are watching 👀👀👀
thank you so much and have a wonderful day!!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
YIPPEE !! A hazbin Hotel req ! I only watched around 4-5 episodes of the newest show so it might not be accurate ! Enjoy :) !
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Alastor x Fem!Reader (FANFIC)
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A/n: He might be a little bit obsessed with you, but don't worry, he'll make you quiet if he has to force it. (HUSKERDUST 4 LIFEEEEE)
TW: Fingering, READER IS A HOOKER !!!, semi-public, getting caught, his horn thingies grow, tongue fucking, getting eaten out, dry humping, pet names (slut, whore, baby, doll, ect), you look a little bit like Charlie, dirty talk, nipple play, messy make-outs, overestimating, and edging. Lmk if I missed anything ! 😙
Synopsis: Alastor, the 7'3 radio demon, the overlord of a lot of land in hell. Even though he's shown no sign of wanting to experience intimacy, he can change that rule...
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The first daughter of the big boss of hell.
That was your title, ever since you were born. Later on though, you had gotten a little sister.
Charlie Morningstar.
She was a big ray of sunshine despite being born in this hellish place. You loved her, you really did.
The both of you nearly look the same. You did dye your hair to (F/c) so there is quite a difference. You're about 6'9, a few inches taller than her.
You also held that wicked smile from your father, typical.
Anyway, you were in the middle of cleaning your apartment when you heard a knock on your door and the sound of paper falling onto the floor.
You thought it was those stupid kids on floor 4 playing games again, but it wasn't. Turned out to be a letter, signed by... your younger sister?
Of course, having nothing else to do, you ripped it open with your nails and unfolded the neat paper.
It read,
'My dear sister, I know we don't talk much anymore, but I would love it if you paid a visit to the hotel! I also know you probably don't have a job, but dad wanted to see you too. He had just come to the hotel about an hour ago. He was basically pleading to see your pretty face again! So, please, think of this and get back to me as soon as possible.
XOXO, Charlie'
You always loved the way that she signed letters. She's been sending you letters with her sign off like that for years now.
Either way, you sat on your couch, contemplating if you should just go or not.
"Fuck it..." You thought out loud
Choosing something comfortable and not something you wore while hooking up.
Oh, right... You're a hooker. It's a job that's actually nicely paid, paid enough for food and your bills. That's it, that's what you were worried about.
What if one of your clients worked there? What of your dad and sister find out?
One client stood out to you though, what was his name? Did it start with an 'A'? Either way, he was one of those people who would choose a hooker and later on be actually interested.
You? Never, it would ruin your job reputation, not wanting to let your job go, you kindly refused, and he went on with his life.
Until you have gotten various notes from someone, some of them were wholesome? In a way, like, "I miss you" or "Just give me a chance".
Others... others were sort of... sexual... For example, "My cock aches for you" and they even sent a paper that had been covered in lipstick kisses.
But it wasn't lips. It was, uhm, you get the idea. He might have been a little bit crazy for you, but it stopped a couple of years ago.
Maybe he realized that I wasn't interested in something serious? You still thought about it as you took the taxi to the front street of the hotel.
You thanked the driver, but instead of him saying your welcome...
"How about I give you a ten? You know, for your pretty body?" He grinned
"No thanks, you don't seem like the type that I would bother with. Plus, that 10 won't even cover 20 minutes.." You snarled back
He whispered some slur under his breath but drove off anyway.
"People think they can just ask me for -" you stumbled back as you ran into something, more like someone...
Red vest, big deer ears, a staff...
'Oh shit..' You thought to yourself
Maybe he won't remember you?
"Back for round two, love?" He grinned maliciously
'God fucking dammit..' you looked up seeing that stupid radio demon overlord.
"No, I'm not, you sick fuck. I'm here to see my little sister.." You moved around him and continued to walk towards the hotel.
"Ahh, that's why I thought you looked familiar.." his voice had a hint of static to it.
You stayed silent and opened the doors, your sister turned around to see who it was.
"Alastor, I said that you -" she stopped once she saw you.
'That's what his name was...' You smiled a little at how your sister nearly knocked you over as she came and wrapped her arms around you.
"OH MY GOD, Y/N, YOU CAMEE!!!" She jumped up and down while hugging the shit out of you.
"Hah, yep, it's me!" You awkwardly hugged her back, noticing your father talking to the other workers on the lobby couches.
Lucifer turned from the sound of your voice and did the same thing as Charlie.
"MY SWEET GIRL!" He squealed
"Hey, dad." I sighed as he also hugged me
Charlie's personality was mostly taken by your father's side while you to your mother's.
Not really knowing your mom, but you knew you had almost the same personality. The little family bonding was broken by the voice of presumed 'Alastor'.
"Y/n, was it? Pleasure to meet you!~" As if... This fucker is acting as if you've never met before.
"Right..." You went along with it, about to shake his hand, but almost forgot that he is an overlord of souls.
You just smiled lightly at him, seemed like it was the safest option.
[1 hour later]
Nifty was off somewhere cleaning, Angeldust was flirting with Husk, Lucifer and Charlie were laughing at something stupid. And you, you were just sitting on the end of the couch, sipping on your (F/d).
Everything was going lovely until you heard a little bit of static start to form behind you. Everybody else didn't seem to notice, but you did. While turning around, you saw that dumb fucks face.
"Darling, tell me.. Do you like me for the money? Or for how your pretty walls wrapped around my d-" you instantly cut him off, not wanting anybody to hear.
"Shut the fuck up..." You glared at him
He smuggly smiled and sat next to you, squishing you between the armrest and him.
"Could you move-" Your voice stopped in your throat when his hand landed on your thigh.
Alastor kept his hand there, slightly rubbing his hand closer to your cunt.
He paid no mind to your silent pleas. Instead, he started talking with Husk and Angeldust. Thank the gods you were in a blindspot, or everybody would've seen Alastor touching you up.
His hand swiftly slipped into your shorts, rubbing your dampened panties from the outside.
You started to softly buck your hips into his fingers, wanting to gain friction. As if it was obvious, he stopped, grinning from you silently whining.
"Are you okay?" Your father, Lucifer, asked. He noticed how you were twitching.
"Mhm!" Was all you could muster as Alastor started to pump his fingers again.
Your arm flared out, gripping his shoulder. "A-alastor... You..." You couldn't speak for shit.
"Please let me and Miss Y/N excuse ourselves!" Alastor announced to the group.
Before you could speak up, he dragged you a few feet around the corner. "What the fuck-" he cut you off by forcing his lips onto yours.
"You're going to shut the fuck up and take me right here..." He pulled away slightly before diving back in.
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A/N: I'm gonna edge yall since I want this to be done before school starts tm!! :3
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earlgreytea68 · 1 year
Text
LOOK AWAY IF YOU DON'T WANT SO MUCH FOR (TOUR) DUST SPOILERS, OKAY?
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Set list:
(1) That Pink Seashell spoken word thing actually opens the show
(2) Love from the Other Side: I assumed they'd play this first, and they did, and they looked very happy with the reception that it got
(3) The Phoenix
(4) Sugar, We're Goin Down: I overheard two guys when I was leaving saying, "I only came to this show for that Sugar song, and it was the third song they played," whatever to those two guys lol
(5) Uma Thurman
(6) A Litttle Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch Me
(7) Chicago Is So Two Years Ago: I know they always play this song when they play Chicago but the way the show is set up, there's this spoken intro that references a light being left on in Chicago, and then they launch into this song, and so I feel like maybe it's permanently in the set list for this tour, we'll see.
(8) Grand Theft Autumn: Patrick told the story again of how he wrote the lyrics while jogging with Pete. Here is exactly what he said, because I recorded it, hahaha: "I wrote this song out here, jogging, trying to figure out the words. This was back when I wrote a lot of the words. And Pete was jogging with me and he was like, 'Eh, maybe change this, maybe change this.' Before we knew it he was writing all the lyrics." And then Pete said, "Imagine us jogging" lolololol
(9) Calm Before the Storm
(10) This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race: They added a little Peterick-y moment in here? I don't remember them playing at each other during this song in previous performances? It was cute, it was during the instrumental part before Patrick leads the singalong, maybe I've just always missed it? They played it each other and kind of did some kind of kick thing with their legs??
(11) Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes: Honestly, always a delight to hear this song, this is one of my favorites <3
(12) Heaven, Iowa: THIS SONG LIVE, I SWEAR
(13) "The Take Over, the Breaks Over": OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SONG AND I TOTALLY DIDN'T EXPECT THEM TO PLAY IT, I WAS SO HAPPY
(14) Headfirst Slide into Cooperstown on a Bad Bet: <3 Guess they got over being scared of playing this one lol
(15) Fake Out: I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW EXCITED I WAS THAT THEY PLAYED THIS ONE OMGGGGGGG. Also, there was some plan I wasn't aware of to, like, hold up cell phones with pink paper over the lights so the crowd lit up pink???? I have no idea who engineered that but it was CHARMING and at the end of the song Pete said, "Thanks for that, guys, that was beautiful," and the stage was on darkness so it seemed absolutely spontaneous on his part and I think they really did like the effect, so, Idk, future shows, keep doing it????
(16) Patrick did some kind of piano interlude where he played "Don't Stop Believin'"????? It was random but he was super charming, I think the rest of the band used it as a break, it was just SO GREAT. Part of his intro was: "Pete was putting together this show and he said to me, 'Hey, you should play piano.' And I was like, 'I kinda only play songs I wrote. I don't really play piano. I don't know how to play piano.' And he's like, 'Eh, you'll figure it out.'" And then Patrick sat down and played gorgeous piano ugh THANKS, PETE.
(17) Last of the Real Ones: I am glad Mania got some love.
(18) Save Rock and Roll
(19) PETE RECITED BABY ANNIHILATION WHAT. I SWEAR TO GOD. I SO DID NOT EXPECT THIS AND I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THAT IT HAPPENED. If you're going to the show, pay attention, because I looked away and apparently there's, like, a magic trick at the end of the monologue where he disappears behind a piece of black silk?????
(20) Crazy Train cover: I...don't know what to say about this randomness hahaha but it happened??
(21) Dance Dance
(22) Hold Me Like a Grudge: I think Patrick adores singing this song, I really do.
(23) G.I.N.A.S.F.S.: I KNOW. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, EITHER.
(24) My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light Em Up)
(25) Thnks fr th Mmrs
(26) Centuries
(27) Saturday <3
The show ends with a little piano version of So Much (for) Stardust played over the sound system, so pay attention for that.
The set is super Alice in Wonderland-y and I adored it, it's playful and fantastical and has all these whimsical touches and interludes and I just thought it was delightful and at one point there were bubbles, and I heard some people complaining after the concert that the fantasy thing didn't suit their style of music and really, I was surrounded by downers after the concert, I thought they were perfect hahaha. Like, ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. They looked so, so, so tangibly happy, all of them. Patrick sounded fantastic and he looked like he was having a blast, he smiled the whole time.
I have a lot of videos but they seem like they're all pretty terrible, but I'll see how I feel in the morning lol
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katareyoudrilling · 4 months
Text
Seen (Javier Peña One-shot)
Pairing: Javier Peña x Female Reader
Summary: You’re the last person Javi wants to ask for a favor, but not for the reason you think.
Word count: ~2.2k
Rating: Mature (18+ only. NO MINORS)
Content Warnings: Alternating POV, reader is a few years older than Javi (Javi could be a variety of ages) and has hair that could be worn up or down, wrinkles and laugh lines, a touch of angst, non-graphic sex
A/N: This isn’t quite what I expected it to be when I started working on it many many months ago.  The idea was inspired by @famouslyanonymous musing that there didn’t seem to be any fics featuring a Pedro boy with a slightly older reader.  I wanted to say a lot of things with this fic and I’m not sure I said any of them, but I hope you enjoy!
Reblogs and comments are always appreciated!
Masterlist
Taglist link in bio (or ask me to add you!)
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“Fine.”
Fuck.
Javi slams down the phone and pinches the bridge of nose.
He needs a favor.  Why does it have to be from you?
He can flirt his way through the department secretaries easily, but you, with your intelligent, assessing gaze… he swears you can see right through him.
The two of you have been crossing into each other’s orbits for a long time now.  He can tell that you know…  You know he’s not some DEA hero.  You can see right through to the failure of a man he actually is.
He takes a long drag on his cigarette before stubbing it out and pushing away from his desk.  “Fuck it.”
He pulls at the back of his neck as he makes his way to your department.  He can already feel the tension headache beginning.  If you won’t do this for him… he’d rather not think about it.
He approaches your desk nervously. “I need a favor.”
“Is that right?” you reply, continuing your work.
“I would really appreciate it.” If he can’t flirt, he can at least try to be polite.
“You aren’t going to compliment my nail polish or tell me how pretty my dress is?”
“Uh… I… what?” Javi stammers.
“I see what you do around here.  Flirting with all the pretty young things to get your way.  Not me though, probably because I’ve got 20 years on most of them and a few on you.”
“What? No! Fuck, you’re the most beautiful woman here.”
“Right,” you scoff.  “It’s too late for the charm, Javier.”
He leans over your desk, gripping the edge.  Moving himself into the halo of your perfume.  “I’m telling you the truth,” he growls.
You lift your eyes to his and his knees go a little weak.
Who is he kidding?  A class-act like you is never going to bend the rules for a man like him.
“Never mind,” he pushes off your desk and walks away.
When he returns to his desk later that afternoon, he’s surprised to find the file he needs sitting on his chair.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
You lean back against the elevator wall and sigh.  It has been a long day and all that has kept you going is the thought of getting out of your heels and pantyhose and onto your couch.
The elevator pings as the doors open on the garage level.  You step out into the cool, echoey space.  That’s when you see him.
He’s standing by your car, exhaling a plume of smoke, somehow not looking green and sickly under the florescent lights.  He must hear the click of your heels on the concrete because he turns and puts out his cigarette as you approach.
“What are you doing here, Peña?  Need another favor?”
“Thank you for the file.  You didn’t have to do that.”  He shifts his weight and looks down at his feet.
“Yeah, well, lord knows you get enough roadblocks thrown in your way.  I don’t need to be one of them.”
Javier chuckles ruefully, “You have no idea.”
“If that’s all, I need to get going.”
“Can I buy you a drink?” Javier looks up at you, “To say thanks?”
Your feet and back are screaming at you not to get taken in by those puppy dog eyes, but there’s something simmering beneath the surface of his gaze.  Something that makes you curious.  His outburst earlier hasn’t left your mind.  You’d be lying if you said you weren’t a little interested in where an evening with Javier Peña might take you.
“Counteroffer.  How about you come over to my place in an hour.  Bring the booze with you.”
Javier’s eyes light up in surprise.
“Don’t get any ideas, Peña.  It’s been a long day and I don’t feel like going to a bar.”
“I didn’t have any ideas.”
You scoff and make your way to the driver’s side door, “See you later?”
He nods.
Javier stands aside as you pull out of your parking space and out of the garage.  You can see him in your rearview mirror smoothing down his mustache, hand on one cocked hip.  It should be an interesting evening.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
You open the door to your apartment and Javi is momentarily stunned speechless.  You’re wearing flowy, satin pants and a cardigan belted around your waist.  You’ve removed your make-up and your jewelry.  You’ve let down your hair.
You’ve never looked more beautiful.
You’re always stunning at work.  Elegant, put-together, gorgeous.  But here, now, you look so soft and relaxed.  It’s as though you’ve taken off the armor you wear to the office.
Like he’s getting a glimpse of the real you.
He always tries to hide the real him.  That façade might not work tonight… a frightening thought.
You step aside and motion him into the apartment.  Javi swallows deeply and forces his feet to step inside.
“I brought whiskey, hope that’s ok.”  He holds out the bottle to you.
“Definitely ok, I had a feeling.” You lead him to your couch.  Two tumblers already sit on the coffee table.  You uncork the bottle and pour two fingers in each glass.
You hand him his glass before swirling the amber liquid in your own.
He watches, mesmerized, as you breathe in the heady aroma and your eyes drift closed.  You take a sip and sigh.  His cock twitches.
“That’s good whiskey, Javier.”
“Call me Javi.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
You didn’t expect it to be so easy to talk to him.
Somehow you’ve gravitated towards each other.  Your knee now rests against his thigh.  His arm stretches behind you on the couch.  Whiskey glasses sit forgotten on the table.  You only needed a few sips to relax before the conversation and laughter flowed.
Swapping stories of co-workers and old mutual friends.  You realize you’ve never seen him smile before tonight.
It’s a shame.
His smile lights up the room.
Javi arches back against the couch and pinches the bridge of his nose. “It’s getting late.”
You make a non-committal noise in reply because your gaze has been captured by the expanse of his chest you can see through his gaping shirt.
Has his shirt been unbuttoned this much the whole time?  Four buttons undone?  Really?  Why bother buttoning it at all?
Not that you’re complaining as you take in the view of his smooth, golden skin.  You watch, hypnotized, as his chest rises and falls with each breath.
Your gaze travels upward, catching on the divot of his clavicle.  The perfect place to breathe his scent.
His Adam’s apple snags your gaze next as it bobs in his throat.  You have to swallow yourself, saliva pooling in your mouth at the thought of licking your way up his gorgeous neck.
His jawline comes into view.  Strong and angular.  Beautiful.  Especially in contrast to his soft, plush lips.
They part slightly, revealing the most perfect crease in his lower lip.
Then there’s his nose.  Noses shouldn’t be so arousing.  It’s absurd.  But there it is in all it’s aquiline glory.  Like a goddamn sculpture.
You continue your journey up to his eyes and find that he’s staring at you, pupils blown.
Your mouth is suddenly dry as Javi slowly closes the distance between you, never breaking eye contact, giving you time to protest, until his lips meet yours.
A fire ignites in your body with the first touch of his lips.  It burns from your head to your toes waking you up from your slow syrupy thoughts.
You climb onto his lap, knees on either side of his slim hips.  His hands grip your waist.  His heat bleeding through the thin fabric covering your center.
You break away from the kiss, breathless. Javi continues kissing down your throat, tugging at your cardigan.  You sit back and reach between you, untying the belt and letting it fall off your shoulders.
Javi groans as he takes in the thin camisole you are wearing underneath.  Your bra had come off along with the pantyhouse and heels.  Your hard nipples poke against the silky fabric.  They squeeze even tighter as Javi licks his lips.
“Fuck, bonita, you’re gorgeous,” he rasps.  The sound goes straight to your core.
- - - - - - - - -
He didn’t come here for this.
Maybe he hoped initially.  But it didn’t seem to be what you had in mind.
He wasn’t lying when he said you were the most beautiful woman at work.  His eyes rove over your body of their own volition every time your paths cross.  His ears tune into the sound of your laughter and even more to your witty and sarcastic remarks.
But he didn’t expect this… this connection.
You’ve set him at ease.  Pulling stories from his memory that he thought were long forgotten.  The urge to pour out his heart to you nearly chokes him.
You’re too good for him.  Too smart, too strong, too confident.  And oh, are you beautiful.  
And now you’re above him, rocking into his cock, making the most heavenly sounds as you lick into his mouth.  He can do sex and do it well.  He can make up for everything he lacks with a good fucking.
Maybe fucking is all he’s good for.
“Take me to bed, Javi.”
He pauses.  He expected your words, but somehow, they have caught him off guard. It wouldn’t be just a fuck with you.  You’ve gotten under his skin.  You’ve glimpsed his soul.
The words bubble up before he can’t stop them.
“I’m scared.”
- - - - - - - - - - - 
His admission catches you off guard and you sit back.  “Scared? Of what? I know I’m older than you, but it’s not like I’m some dried-out husk and bats are going to fly out of my vagina.”  You push against his chest to get off his lap, annoyed and frustrated.
Javi growls and grabs your ass, pulling you back to him, holding you still while he finds his words.  “Fuck, that’s not what I meant.”  He huffs as he continues, “I’m scared because you… see me.”
The anger burns away as quickly as it came.
“I’m not the man most people think I am.” His big brown eyes that only moments ago held laughter and lust, fill with pain and doubt.
“Who are you, then?”
“Just a man.  Trying.  Failing.”
“I know.”
“You don’t want me.”
“What if I do?”
You’re surprised by your own admission. It’s the truth.  You do want him.  And not because he’s a ‘hero’ but in spite of it.  You want the man you met tonight.
You watch his feelings war across his face.  His body wants you, that is abundantly clear.  You’re pretty sure his mind and heart do too, if he could only trust them.
“Have you been real with me tonight, Javi?” you ask, brushing the pads of your thumbs over his gorgeous cheekbones.
“Yes.”
“I won’t beg.” You’ve lived enough life to know a man that doesn’t want you isn’t worth your time. “But know that I do see you and I want you.  The real you.”
His fingers dig into your hips and he swallows hard. “I’ve never done this.”
“I find that hard to believe.”  That earns you a smirk, some sparkle returning to his eyes.
“You know what I mean.  Real… I’ve never done real.  At least not for a long fucking time.”
“I’m as real as they come, Javi.  Wrinkles and all. Can you handle it?”
He brushes his fingers over the creases at the corners of your eyes and you melt.  “You’re beautiful.”
You bring your lips back to his, gently testing.  He wraps his arms around you, surging up into the kiss.  Heat quickly builds between your bodies as your hands roam freely across his broad shoulders and up into his hair.
He groans against your mouth.
“Take me to bed, querida.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Your body is perfect.
Not in the way of youth – firm, angular, unblemished – but well-loved.  Each part of you telling the story of a life well-lived.
He worships each curve of you.  Reveling in what pleasure feels like with someone when he opens himself up.  He kisses your softness, traces each wrinkle with his calloused fingers, delights in the sounds you make as he explores your body.
When you welcome him into your wet heat with a contented sigh, it nearly breaks him in two.  You feel so right around him, moving with him, coming with him.
Sated and drowsy, he lays with you on your bed.  You brush his hair off his forehead and trace your fingers over his laugh lines and the crease between his eyebrows.  He’s lived some life too.
“Still scared?” you ask, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead.
“Yeah,” he rasps quietly, looking up at your soft smile, “but I think it might be worth it.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - 
Masterlist
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strawberrystepmom · 8 months
Text
gojo and f!reader are in a semi established relationship aka idiots in love. they are about 20 and 21 here. cw some insinuation of infidelity on reader’s part but not against gojo. wc 1.2k
divider by the ever wonderful @/cafekitsune ❤️
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Almost as if he’s made of pure pixie dust, Gojo appears in your bedroom without a noise or sign of his arrival while you rest in bed, blankets pulled up around your hips.
“I wish you’d at least text me before you do that.”
You don’t react anymore, learning a few months ago he teleports in and out wordlessly simply to get a rise out of you, and he sits on the edge of your bed opposite your body with a huff.
“I don’t understand why you hate surprises so much. If a handsome man appeared in my bedroom out of thin air using his awesome power I’d be excited.”
You snort, patting the bed and inviting him to lie down even though you really shouldn’t. In fact, you really really really shouldn’t yet you open your blankets and watch him slip out of his jacket. He tosses it on the floor as carelessly as ever and he comes to your bed in a white t-shirt untucked from navy pants, long arms automatically seeking out the shape of your curves.
“Satoru, I don’t mind if you sleep here but we shouldn’t be doing that.”
He frowns, cocking his head to the side.
“What? Cuddling?”
“Yeah, cuddling or fucking or any of it. It’s not appropriate.”
Raising his brows, he sits up in your bed for a moment and contemplates what you mean.
For the last several years, the two of you have been locked in this push and pull game of who will break and admit everything first - who will let the first I love you slip in the real world and not just during sex when both of you are left with enough deniability to dart out of the corner those three little words have painted you into?
The dynamic is complex, sure, but it has worked this far and it perplexes him why you would want to change something that is working so well. Lying back, he doesn’t wrap his arms around your waist and hold you close but traces the curve of your shoulder with the soft pad of his index finger instead.
He doesn’t want to ask because he already knows why you are putting walls back up to keep him out, yet he does.
“Hiroki?”
You shouldn’t but you groan frustratedly hearing the name of your current boyfriend leave Satoru’s pretty mouth. The two of you aren’t official and have only been seeing one another for several weeks but you want to give him an honest shot to be with you. The last two men you’ve dated haven’t fared well, losing out to the man with the moonlight colored hair currently occupying your bed, but you feel Hiroki deserves better than that.
He deserves far better than what you’ll eventually do to him when you get bored and go running back to the man next to you but you keep the thoughts to yourself lest they become a self fulfilling prophecy.
“Yes. It’s inappropriate.”
Satoru chuckles and slips his finger beneath the strap of your tank top, slipping it off and tracing down your collarbone despite the way you slap at his hand.
“What’s he like?”
Heat rushes into your face, cheeks searing from the tone of his question. It’s condescending but you know he can’t help it, his attitude a side effect of having the world presented to you atop a shining silver platter. You’re not even angry with him for asking, you’re angry at him for proving that you’re struggling to find a way to describe Hiroki.
He’s a sweet man, your age with only four months separating your birthdays. He’s patient and mild and a little skittish around strangers. His favorite music is acid jazz and his favorite color is purple. He eats hayashi rice at his favorite restaurant every Wednesday night.
These are not ways you can describe the man you are seeing to your frustratingly dazzling pseudo boyfriend.
Sighing, you reach for Satoru’s hand and pry it off of you before his finger can come any closer to your throat and chin and face. You’re sure he was gearing up to pop it in your mouth like he always does. His hand creeps right back to where it was the second you drop it.
Finally, you stumble upon the word you want to use to describe Hiroki and it leaves your lips with a defeated sigh.
“He’s normal.”
Satoru laughs so loud you’re afraid it’ll wake up the entire floor of your neighbors. You shush him, burying your face in a pillow you’ve plucked from behind you.
“Normal, huh? As if that’ll keep your interest for long.”
Scoffing, you sit up and his hand slides down your chest and into your lap. He struck a nerve but he isn’t apologetic, blue eyes blinking up at you lazily from where he rests against the pillow he designated as his when you moved into this apartment two years ago.
“What are you insinuating?”
He smirks, glad you’ve once again slipped into his carefully laid traps. Your teeth are bared and your brow is furrowed, arms folded over your chest. Once again you’ve underestimated how well this man knows you.
“I’m just saying that if normal is what you wanted, you would have left after graduating instead of sticking around.”
Instead of getting involved with him, abnormal as he is.
“You’re being an ass.”
You know he’s right despite the insult, so you barely argue. This has been a cycle since the start of your twenties - swearing Satoru off completely only to let him sleep in your bed because neither of you sleep well when you’re alone until it eventually comes to a head and your feelings spill over and it’s back to square one.
“I mean, at least you always come back to where you belong.”
Shooting him a downright terrifying glance, you shift and roll onto your side so that you are no longer facing him. He rolls onto his own side and presses the front of his body against the back of yours, a familiar cradle you’re glad to be wrapped in.
When he settles, his fingers trace down your sides in wide swaths and you squirm before flipping back onto your other side to face him. You capture his face between your palms and look over each of his features, his dimples and nose and beautiful skin and those fucking eyes you want to be less suceptible to.
Then you kiss him. It’s as chaste as you ever have, or at least since the last time you decided you wanted to call him yours, and he smirks against your lips.
“That’s all you get tonight,” you start and he begins to whine and argue until you press your finger against his lips, shushing him. “Let me do this right and call Hiroki in the morning to break it off first.”
Grumbling, he acquiesces because as always, at least you’re back where you belong even if he has to wait until the morning to remind you why you were silly for leaving in the first place.
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F1 Grand Prix of Miami | Media Day May 02, 2024
When he [Adrian] started at Red Bull, he was incredibly important for the success that they have. I think over time, his role has changed a bit. And I think a lot of people don't understand what he was actually doing. I don't say he wasn't doing anything - but his role has evolved. A lot of, you know, good people came into the team that has strengthened that whole department. Of course, I would have preferred him to stay, for sure. Because you can always rely on his experience. Just as a person, he was a great guy to relate to. He was very bright, very smart. And he would also talk to the driver. And then he would interpret that into the car. And he would try to imagine himself driving. But I also really trust that the technical team that we have outside of Adrian is very, very strong. And they have basically shown that for the last few years how competitive the car is. So on the outside, it looks very dramatic. But I think if you actually know what is happening inside the team, it's not as dramatic as it seems.
What has been the impact on you personally, this year so far. The allegations made against Christian [Horner] and now Adrian departing because of those allegations.
Well, I think all of these things a couple of years ago would have been a bit unexpected. But, I think it's always very important to remain calm and focus on your job. Know who you're working with. Feel comfortable. And at the end of the day, we need to have the fastest car. That's what I always demanded. That's what we finally got a couple of years now. And, we have a very strong technical team that are part of the team still for a long time. So, yeah, basically, it goes on like it was going.
Have you tried to talk to him? Convince him to stay?
I don't need to convince anyone. Because at the end of the day, if someone really wants to leave, they should leave. That's also what I wrote to him. We talk. I mean, it's not like suddenly you don't talk anymore. But if you think that is the right decision for yourself and family, or you seek a different challenge or whatever, you have to do it. At the end of the day, F1 is a shark tank. Everyone thinks about themselves at the end of the day. I know that. I’m not stupid. So that’s fine.
Are you surprised that he was able to negotiate an early release from his contract to potentially leave and work with one of your rivals?
In a way, I'm also not surprised. Because we respect him a lot. And we will always be very, very thankful for what he has done for the team, you know, over all these years. And that's why I think, yeah, I mean, I'm not talking for Christian. Remember, because at the end of the day, he has to discuss that with Christian about how the release terms and stuff are done. But I'm not surprised. Because I think, in a way, it would be maybe also a little bit unfair, you know, to try and just put him on gardening leave for a very long time, just thinking back at what he has done, you know, for the team. So, I guess there's, you know, there's mutual respect between two parties.
Would you like to see him stay?
Yes, for sure. But he says to me that he wants to seek a different challenge. Anyway, he's done so much for the team. It's not like he joined, hasn't achieved anything, and then leaves again. He's done so much that we're very appreciative of that. And then, at one point, it's been for, you know, how many years? Like 19, 20 years. So, if you then at one point say, like, that's enough, I want to do something else, that's fine as well. But you cannot deny that we would have probably preferred him to stay.
Do you think he's able to cause trouble when he's signing for a different team?
I think always, you know, with a person like Adrian, with his experience and, of course, the knowledge that he has from our team, it should be an advantage. But, on the other hand, at 26, again, you know, everything is very, very new, very different to how the cars are now. [The earliest he would] potentially join another team is in '25, then normally the cars are already designed for that year. That is something that you don't know how much influence he can have. But, for sure, with new regulations, if he would go somewhere else, with his knowledge, you know, he can bring a lot.
Are you afraid more people will leave?
I mean, I cannot speak for everyone else. At the moment, I think everyone is happy with their roles in the team. And who knows, maybe with Adrian leaving, what it will do to the team. It might not always seem negative, you know. And this is not something bad towards Adrian, but you see that in a lot of different companies, sports, sometimes. You know, when somebody has been part of the team for a long time, and then suddenly they leave, it's not always a negative thing. Maybe it promotes young talent. Of course, there will never be another Adrian, but that's what's fine with it. So, it's very important to appreciate what he has done. For us now, it's very important to just work with the people that we have available, and they are very good at what they do.
So, you’ve not been offered a contract for 150 million euros [Mercedes]?
At the end of the day, even if, let's say, that were the case, money is not going to be the differentiator for me to go somewhere. I'm happy with what I'm earning. It's about performance. Because I know myself that if I will be driving for P5 or P6, you get quite grumpy with yourself. So, it's always about performance at the end. I mean, everyone knows that, Toto also knows.
So, when he says that he is waiting for you. It’s quite a strange comment.
I think everyone should always be optimistic and hopeful in things. But at the moment, I can say that I'm optimistic with the team because I believe in the project that we have, with everyone involved. But at the end of the day, in sports, but also in life, we don't know what's going to happen in the future.
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