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matsufucker · 4 years

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👀👀 would u think abt writing smth for the bros (or jus Choro & Kara) reactions to finding out a very tough/edgy friend of theirs has a crush on them? 👉🏼👈🏼 their just v mean looking but with friends they're kind of soft and tbh just touch starved? 😩 ur writings abt the bros slap💖💖💖

Thank you for the sweet words anonny. 🥺

Here’s Karamatsu + Choromatsu reacting to an edgy crush!

Karamatsu:

Before becoming friends with you, Karamatsu would probably be a mix of “oh dear they’re a bit scary, I hope I can impress them!” and “oh damn… that’s kinda attractive, I wanna be like that.” so he would pull out all stops to try to impress you. He would try to shower you in his classic flowery words.

When he finds out that you’re soft he’s all over that like white on rice. Could you be any cooler? Not only are you tough and cool, but you’re a softie?! And you love physical affection? Wow wow wow! It becomes his goal to try to see your inner layers, he’s already enamored.

You’re touch starved? This is the FREE HUGS guy we’re talking about here. He would give out hugs whenever you wanted! He might linger a second too long at times…

Might integrate casual touches in conversation, he usually uses a lot of hand gestures, but an occasional hand on the shoulder would be thrown in if you’re comfy with that.

When he finds out about you having a crush on him, he considers that it may be too good to be true. He knows that he can be the butt of jokes sometimes, so how could he be sure that this isn’t just another prank? (Especially if one of his beloved brothers told him.)

Ultimately he would listen to the rumor and follow his heart, this romantic loser will do anything for love.

Initially he plans to flirt and up his Karamatsu antics to gauge out your reaction. If he does it when you two are in a more private setting, maybe he’d be able to see your true reaction without your tough façade.

If he manages to fluster you, this will egg him on to just pile more and more of his nonsensical wordplay until you literally can’t understand what he is saying. How the hell does one react to “your company is like a divine blue oasis I can seek refuge in to wash all of my sins away??” Hello?

(If you throw a compliment back you’ll do 1000 mental damage to this poor boy. He’ll be caught completely off guard and sputter before throwing another theatrical line back at you.)

He’ll set some dramatical plan in action to ask you out.

The king of extra will carry his guitar around on his back and the next time you encounter him, he’ll usher you to a place where he can serenade you. He’ll pull a bouquet of flowers out of seemingly nowhere, kneel onto one knee, and start playing.

He’s actually pretty good at the guitar, his chords aren’t too crazy, just some simple chord progressions, but his singing ties it together nicely. His vibrato is a bit too much at times, but you don’t care since you have this goon literally pouring his heart for you.

As the song slows down, Karamatsu swallows thickly and stammers “Y/N, would you like to go out with me?” He strums the final chord with a bit of emphasis and smiled, but his eyes were darting nervously onto your face.

When you say yes, he jumps onto his feet and asks “really!?”

Once you confirm your answer, he’s ecstatic. He nearly throws his guitar to the side as he rushes to hug you.

“Thank you for making me the happiest man alive!” he cries with shimmering eyes. He’s already trying to make plans of romantic get aways, perhaps Paris for a first date, or the finest restaurant Akatsuka has to offer? You have to calm him down and you two plan out a more realistic date.

The gears of love have begun to turn. :)

Choromatsu:

Honestly he will be initially pretty intimidated by your appearance and how you act. There’s a part of him that admires you for your toughness. He always tries to act like the straight man but is brushed aside for being “lame” and “Chorofappyski,” so he wishes he could be tough like you.

His first interaction will probably be pretty curt with you, but over time he’ll loosen up and chat politely with you. He’ll soon realize that you aren’t really some scary punk, but a tender soul? He’s a bit surprised but he’s relieved, he find this news extremely comforting and will be more relaxed with you.

If you’re touched starved and it shows, he would actually be happy to accommodate. He typically doesn’t like being too touchy with people he doesn’t know, but you’re an exception. He would be too nervous to initiate touches, but if you wanted to give him a hug, lean against him, etc, he’d let you!

Honestly at this stage of friendship he would be content. Choromatsu would look at your relationship and be thankful that he wasn’t foolish enough to pass judgement on you based off your appearances and got to know you. He was really happy to have you, a scary looking marshmallow, in his life. He would undeniably have a crush on you, but there’s no way you would like this rising NEET otaku, right?

“Y/N has a crush on you! It’s so obvious!”

Wait. Did he hear that right?

If it was one of his brothers, he’d tell them to knock it off, they’re just friends! If it was anyone else, he would deny it. No way, why would a person like them like him?

But the thought has been planted in his mind and he can’t think straight. What’s gonna happen? He likes you but what does he do? Maybe he should just act like he didn’t hear anything. Yeah, that sounds good, you two can keep being friends, he likes being friends, right?

Would not bring this up in conversation ever, he would take this time to see if there were any signs of you having a crush on him. (If he does see one, he’ll convince himself that it’s not true tbh. If you blush and do the classic arm touch flirt? He’ll think “it’s because they’re friendly, not because they like me!” His mental gymnastics are incredible.)

If you confess to Choromatsu, he’ll be surprised and flush red.

“Me? Are you sure?” he’ll be too caught off guard to even process the joy he feels, his face screams anxiety until he confirms that you actually like him. Then the corner of his lips will turn sharply into a “v” as he gushes that he’s actually liked you for a bit, but he never expected to get this far! The next time you two hang out, should it be like good old times or an actual date?

If you don’t confess, Choromatsu will overthink things until it started to affect how he interacts with you. He starts to act a bit more stiff and distant, the usual hugs that you two shared regularly now felt like hugging a board. Choro will keep up this attitude until you finally confront him about it.

He feels awful that he made you worry about your friendship, he’ll confess that he heard from someone that you had a crush on him and that he wasn’t sure how to proceed, he likes you but he doesn’t want to ruin an already amazing thing.

After you chastise him for not telling you about this problem, you tell him that the rumor is true, but there’s no pressure to return the feelings.

He nearly interrupts you, rushing to say “no no! I really do like you, it’s just that—” and he turns red at how casually those words tumbled out of his mouth. He clears his throat before continuing with “I do like you, I just don’t know if I deserve you?”

You have to tell this goon that if you like him, and if he likes you, what’s wrong with that? And he deserves so much more than he allows himself to!

After this reaffirmation, Choromatsu’s tension disappears from him and he nods.

“I’m sorry for making you worry, do you still want to…” he pauses, swallowing thickly. “…go out with me?”

You hug him and say yes, silly, you liked him, it was apparently so evident that other people were picking up on it! You go in to hug him out of habit, and you’re delighted when the hug is just like you remembered it, comfortable and without an ounce of stiffness.

#srry if it's a bit ooc! i am not tough so i had to guess #also srry if the matsus are ooc #i'm still learning how to be painful and i love to make choro a sweaty nerd #osomatsu san #ososan #osomatsu-san #karamatsu #choromatsu #headcanons #imagine #osomatsu san imagine #x reader #reader insert

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oftenderweapons · 4 years

Text

The Magic Touch - hyung line

Pairing: hyung line member x reader

Wordcount: 1.2-1.8k words

Genre: smut, angst, fluff

Rating: 18+

Hello there everyone! I was very conflicted about posting, especially since I realised some of you might be focusing your energies on the BLM movement -- at the same time I thought that, as a writer, one of my priorities is to offer a momentary getaway from real life, especially since many countries are still affected by quarantine and lockdown, and many of us might need to get away from all the stress in the meantime.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I’m pretty busy with exams and studying but I really wanted to post it (even though I don’t know when I’ll be able to finish the maknae line, Jimin’s scenario is giving me a rough time). I really, really want to post because last week, on May 28th, we celebrated International Masturbation Day! So, as you can see, the theme is masturbation.

I think that the general message here is that you don’t have to be single to masturbate, and that masturbation and couple life are not mutually exclusive.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: There is swearing. Also, well THIS IS QUITE DESCRIPTIVE (sometimes even too descriptive for my own good), pretty much any kind of masturbation, mostly mutual, but also individual, of course this thing is filled with exhibitionism and voyeurism, these guys are not shy about porn and some of the girlfriends aren’t either (ahem), unprotected foreplay and spit play, mentions of unprotected sex (GUYS, PLAY IT SAFE, CONDOMS, DENTAL DAMS, GET TESTED REGULARLY!!!!), sensory deprivation, blindfold (again, guess who’s the freakiest of them all ? ;)))))))) mentions of sextapes. Jin’s scenario might contain some angst, based on the little gap I imagine between Jin’s fictional gf and him; Hobi’s scenery also contains slight angst but waterfalls of fluff too; Joon’s a daddy, fucking fight me; Yoongi and his gf could talk abt sex for hours and they would be absolutely fine with it (talk your kinks out with your s/o, sex gets 100 times more intimate and fun!!!!!)

Here you can find the maknae line

And here you can find my masterlist

Namjoon

“Hello there,” Namjoon said, standing against the door.

You turned, without even feeling guilty or shy. “Hello.” Your hand slowed down, the motion subsided to focus on the conversation with your boyfriend.

“Didn’t know you had started without me.”

“Wanna join?” With a smirk you patted on the bed beside you.

“What you watching?”

“Mh, just scrolling.”

“Yeah?”

He took off his jacket and shirt, his hands fumbling with his belt.

“Slow down, Joonie, we don’t want you to trip and hurt yourself.” You chuckled, your hand again picking up the rhythm.

You had come home early from the office and headed straight for the shower. Wrapped in a towel, you had realised you still had a bit more than an hour to yourself. You laid down and let the towel unwrap, stretching to reach your phone on the bedside table. It had been only twenty minutes when you heard the keys enter the lock at the front door, though he didn’t call for you. He hadn’t expected you home yet.

Still, you let your whimpers resound louder from the room, moaning his name, hoping he would hear you.

When Namjoon found you, you were laying against the headboard, one hand scrolling through random NSFW gifs, the other caressing your pubis, quite innocently, not to actually reach completion, but merely to arouse.

“Where do you want me?” He asked, climbing on the bed beside you, his boxers still on.

“Behind me, I wanna lay against you.” You sat up and moved your hips forward, letting him sit behind you, his head and back propped against the pillows, as you lay with your shoulders against his chest.

“Are we looking for anything in particular?”

“Don’t know. The usual?”

He kissed the tender skin behind your ear. “Want me to take over?” He was already reaching for your chest, gripping a breast with a heavy touch.

You thought about it for a second. Nodding, you moved the hand between your legs inch away, the tips of his fingers ghosting over the sensitive skin under your belly button.

“What do we have here? Let me see, love.” He half-whispered with that deep voice of his.

In the meanwhile your hand reached for his thigh, your nails scraping against the soft, sensitive skin there. “It’s been a long week. I need to decompress.”

“You wanted some alone time? Want me to go?” He said, understanding filling his voice.

“I want you to take me there. Help me stop thinking.” You tapped on a gif, looking at the way a woman’s hips undulated against a man’s face.

“I’m here for you.” His lips venerated you. “You like that?” He meant the gif.

“You know I love your lips there.”

“The weekend’s long, let’s save that for later.” His palm started stroking your outer labia, your spine muscles relaxing against his chest.

Another gif, now of a woman performing oral on a man. “What about this?” You teased.

He moaned when you turned your arm behind your back, reaching for his manhood over the fabric. “Your mouth’s pretty. I like fucking it. Prefer your hands though.” You knew you would find loads of lovebites on your neck and shoulders later in the evening.

“You’re enormous, just one third of you fills my mouth. The problem’s the thickness.”

He chuckled. “Doll’s mouth. So tiny.”

You reached inside his underwear. “Oh, I like this one,” You said, looking at the screen, a man fucking a woman while standing, lifting her up and down against his length.

“I’ll have to hit the gym like JK to get that.”

“Bet his girlfriend gets a lot of that game — Wait, yes, there...” you replied, his hand circling your clit just right.

“Like this?” He questioned.

You nodded. “We’re lazier.” You said, continuing your previous conversation.

“We’re older. We like the mind games.” He commented. You giggled agreeingly. “Look at you. Half of the sex happens in your brain. No youngling could give you that.”

“You know what I like.” The hand on your breast moved to your nape, massaging your scalp and tense tendons. “That’s it...” You abandoned yourself against him.

“I wanna take off my boxers but I don’t wanna let go of you.” He kissed the tip of you ear.

“Take ‘em off.” You gave him space to manoeuvre out of them, licking your lips at the sight of his sex. You swallowed, your mouth salivating, your desire inhibiting your embarrassment.

“Not yet, come back here.”

You didn’t waste time easing back, your free hand naturally reaching for him.

“You taught me a lot with your naughty hands.” He commented as he again started touching you, now with more pressure. He let two fingers slip inside, your arousal making the insertion so easy you blushed.

“So wet. Bet your pretty pussy is clenching for me. Thinking about my cock.”

“Joon-“

With two of his fingers tweaking your nipple, other two pressing your g-spot, you started stimulating him with more pressure, adding a squeeze.

“____, yes, just like that.” He praised, calling out your name. His tip was blunt and soft, the texture like marshmallow. The heady smell of your arousal filled the room, his moans intensifying with the way you rolled your thumb against his frenulum.

“Open wide baby, wanna use both my hands on you.” You spread your legs further, obediently, the addition of his middle finger caressing your clit making you focus and suddenly turn very quiet, your breaths becoming more shallow and rare.

“Keep going like that, baby, don’t stop, I’m so close.” He moaned, licking your neck.

“Joonie— ”

“Let go, love.” As you took one last breath you felt your limbs catching fire and caving in, your whole body melting.

“Yes, babe.” Taking the hand on your clit away from you, he kept massaging your inner walls heavily and slowly, applying that pressure that you always needed to fully enjoy and ease out of your orgasm. With one hand joining yours, he helped you around his girth, squeezing the base as you fondled the head.

“There, yes— ” He moaned again, his hips now rutting against you, and finally with a groan you felt him spilling over, the orgasm catching him by surprise as he collapsed over your shoulder, “There. Love, fuck, yes.” The warmth of his cum hit your hand and your lower back, and you used the lubrication to caress him gently, slowly, accompanying him out of the high.

Your phone now discarded on the bed, you turned around, laying your front against his. “Joon, I love you.”

“Love you too, little vixen. My pretty doll.” He palmed your ass and kissed your lips calmly. “Wanna get cleaned up.”

“By now the sheets are messed up. Might as well finish the job.”

He smiled viciously then bit the inside of his cheek. “Then get on your knees, Princess.”

Seokjin

“I’m not sure I’m allowed to do this.” He said.

“Why not?”

“It’s- Private?”

“Don’t you like it?”

Jin loves you. Every little inch of you. Every nook and cradle. He loves the air around you, worships the ground you walk on. And of course the feeling is mutual. “Don’t ask dumb questions.”

“Maybe I just wanna hear you say it.”

“I love you. And I really like it. But are you truly okay with it?”

“I’m doing it because I love how you look at me.”

“How do I look at you?”

“Like I have all the secrets in the universe.” He kissed your lips tenderly. He could barely hold himself together. He was scared to move. His eyes hesitant, he gave in and started getting caught up in the video again.

“That mole over there,” he whispered, eyes droopy as you kissed his face, your hand spurring him on. “It’s so yours. Unique.”

You took a deep breath.

“Why are we watching it on the screen when you could be doing that right in front of me?”

“Because I caught you jacking off to one of the videos I sent you while you were on tour. Now I wanna see what you do when I’m not around.”

“Why is your hand on me, though?” He said with a playful smirk.

“Because I can’t help wanting to touch you.” You replied matter of factly.

“Keep your hands to yourself and sit on the chair, please.” He suggested, exiling you to the comfy armchair in the near corner of the room and getting the bed all to himself. With one hand he kept the phone propped to a comfortable angle, the other, a bit shaking, timidly propped against his jutting hipbone. He let his fingers tentatively spider to his sex, laying against his lower belly, so hard and looking so delicious.

You watched how his hand wrapped around himself, how the thumb started teasing the head, without much pressure. From his breathy moans you could tell it wouldn’t be long until he come apart. Oh, how his eyes were glued to the screen… Normally you wouldn’t be this affected, he’s looked at you with those eyes from up close while you were making love, still seeing this from a distance, as a third party, really made you understand how much he loves you. And how much you love him too.

“So beautiful.” He murmured, his eyes still entranced. “I can’t believe I can have that whenever I want.”

“I’m yours.” You said in a small voice from your corner.

His hand got still for a second, his head turning towards you. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You replied, your stare gently holding his. “I want to see you cum.”

He blinked slowly, his gaze again on the video, his hand massaging slowly from the base to the tip, squeezing, the soft of the palm on his hand stroking against his tip. His slightly high pitched groan was all you needed to tell that he’d be lasting less than seconds now. His face wrinkling, his legs flexing and his back arching, you marvelled at how his hips snapped up, his dick forcefully fucking his hand. You got truly surprised at how strong he could be, and how much he must have always restrained himself while fucking you. He was always careful about your well being, holding himself back not to hurt you.

“That’s my handsome, lovely man.” You commented from the chair, licking your lips as a thin string of his semen dangled from his palm and fell to his lower stomach. He had avoided making a mess, keeping himself in his palm.

You wanted a taste.

You climbed onto the bed, crawling between his legs.

“What are you doing?” He looked wary.

“I’m hungry.”

“Want me to cook?” He asked, getting ready to get up.

“No. I want to taste you.” His lips curled, his expression doubtful. Oral sex wasn’t among your most common activities. Sometimes he felt too shy for it, like it was too daring.

Sometimes you marveled at all the things he didn’t do because of nerves or because “it’s not really appropriate”.

As you saw the discomfort lingering on his face, you took a step back, hands retreating to your own comfort zone. You felt yourself shutting off.

There are differences between you and Jin, and you’ve always known it. He wouldn’t always explore with you. Considering how far you’ve gone together today, you really didn’t know why you felt so disappointed.

“What is it?” He asked, concern overcoming shyness.

“Does it bother you? That I’m so dirty?” You asked, avoiding his stare.

“No. I’m just afraid of hurting you. When you put your mouth on me I get nervous and I can barely concentrate on anything but the feel of you. Makes it very difficult not to snap. And when it happened you always ended up with a sore throat.” He used his clean hand to tip your chin towards him. “Maybe you don’t realise it, but you’re so cute and small and sometimes I just wished I could trap you beneath me and do you messy, but when I let go, I see you wince and I get back in control.”

“I might wince or choke or end up with a sore throat but I don’t care. All I care about is I was looking at you right now, wishing you did me like that, hard and fast. Every now and then.”

“You want it like that?” He asked with wonder.

“I just need you to get me ready, warm me up a little and be patient if I ask you to slow it down a notch.”

The hand on your chin caressed your face.

“Okay. And of course we can go gradually. See how far you can take it.” He kissed you temple and then your lips.

Naked and below him, his fingers started exploring your most intimate parts, toying with your delicate breasts, adoringly caressing your sides, reaching you hipbones and carefully tipping closer to the apex of your thighs.

There was nothing but adoration in his eyes as you gripped his strong shoulders as an anchor, his caresses teasing all the right places, stimulating all the right nerve endings, his fingers inside pressing the exact same spot of his digits outside you.

You went off in record time, much to his surprise, eyes blown wide and imploring as he gently accompanied you in your high. You loved his hands. But the thing you adored the most were his eyes, bathing in the vision of you, covering you in nothing but love.

Yoongi

You were both being lazy on the sofa, nothing to do on the rainy Sunday afternoon. You were almost ready to head to bed for a cozy winter nap when he tutted with his mouth a couple times, then pouted a little and turned to you.

"Do you wanna watch something?"

You turned on your side, looking at him from your side of the sofa. He was sitting at one end, a book in his lap, one hand innocently trapped between his thighs, close to his knees, as if to warm it up. You were on the other side, curled up under a blanket that covered you up to your nose, only your hand, your phone and your eyes coming out of the covers.

"Mh. What do you wanna watch?"

"I was thinking of trying something."

"Like?"

"Porn?"

You chuckled, thinking it was a joke. He was dead serious though. You stopped laughing and looked at him with fascination. "Okay."

"Good." He grabbed the TV-remote and quickly connected it.

"Do you usually watch it on the TV?"

"If I need to, I watch it on the laptop, but I used the TV while you were away."

You had been on a 10-day trip for a family party -- a cousin of yours was getting married and wanted you to be there as a bridesmaid, and Yoongi had preferred to stay at home, waiting for a better moment to be introduced to your family, not wanting to steal the attention from the bride and groom.

"Was it a satisfactory experience?"

He looked at you, questioning whether it was a test. "I guess…"

"What were you watching?" You asked curiously.

"I didn't watch it all, just some foreplay. I wasn't in the mood. But it was good, that's why I thought you could enjoy it too. The director's a woman and you can really tell it's female-supporting."

You smiled at that, your man being considerate in every single way. "That's very nice of you, Yoongi."

"I'm glad you wanna try this with me." He showed you the platform, the different titles and the one he had selected. Even the cover picture looked quite decent and classy.

He sat on the sofa again, this time closer to you. You also sat up, cuddling against him.

"Ready?" He asked. "We don't have to do this, you know."

"Yeah, but I want to." You took his hand and kissed his cheek.

He pressed play. It looked cute. A nice dinner at home, candles, flowers, slightly cliché but really cute, romantic. The chemistry between the actors was cute. They looked like they were dating.

"That looks very nice."

"Yeah, mundane. Average. I thought it was nice because it shows them in a relationship. It's like 'you know, you can do this stuff with your girlfriend, cause maybe that's the stuff she likes.'" He said, shrugging.

"That's cool."

They were kissing.

“Sometimes I forget not all couples talk it out.” He commented, still watching the video.

“I like it this way, being open about it. I think it makes us happier.”

Some clothes were now missing. She was wearing sexy lingerie, still something realistic. One of your triggers were the disgustingly cheap, poorly made and revealing clothes these actress usually wear. As if you need a short chequered skirt and no panties to be turned on. Usually all it took you was one of Yoongi’s enormous white T-shirts and very unsexy grandma cotton briefs to turn him on, often leading to him bending you over the closest flat surface or burying his tongue between your folds.

“What would you do if I were more vanilla?”

You thought about it, staring at the screen without really watching. “I don’t know. We could talk it out. Explore what you’re willing to try. Probably I’d masturbate more.” You quietly mulled over the idea.

“You wouldn’t leave me?”

“It’ll probably be a revelation to you but I’m not just here for the sex.”

He laughed, leaning against you.

“I think I’d leave you if I found myself wanting someone else, something more. If I found out that I’m really missing it rough. And also if you felt uncomfortable about the imbalance.”

“That’s good. Honest,” he replied, his tone neutral and reasonable.

“But you’re not all that vanilla.” You commented, looking at him from head to toe.

“Maybe I am.” He said, looking at the way the man picked the woman up and kissed her against the wall. With a furtive motion you delicately strokes you hand down your thigh, reaching for the spot where your knee connected with his. He parted his legs a little more, looking lazily at your leg for a second, then focusing again on the tv.

You were slightly bothered by the lack of attention he was paying you, most surely teasing you.

The couple had moved to the sofa, she was getting rid of the underwear, he was touching himself to the sight of her.

“Were you vanilla when you fucked me against the mirror in the walk in closet last Saturday?” You nudged your hand higher up his inner thigh.

“Pay attention to the movie, please.” He said with a snicker.

“I’m sure I’m not missing out on the plot.”

“How arrogant,” He commented. As a reply you pushed your palm against his clothed crotch.

“You say I’m arrogant?”

“We both know you act all bold but if I were to touch you now you wouldn’t last a minute.”

“Is it a challenge?” You asked, stroking him with more passion now.

“Wanna see how long’s gonna take me?” He taunted. “Off with those pants and open up wide, kitten.”

“Show me yours and I’ll show you mine.” He smiled at you with a cheeky grin.

A few minutes later you were both naked from the waist down, his pants rolled around his calves, his eyes on the screen, one of his hands comfy and snug against your sex, the other behind your shoulders playing with your chest and nipple.

“You eat me out way better than he’s doing with her.” You commented, both your hands busy around his shaft, every now and then caressing his testicles gently. You were a complicated tangle of arms and legs, your left one flung over his right, in order to gain more space for him to finger you, but also to keep him open.

“Because I love you.” He commented. “And because you taste like sugar.”

You moaned, warning him that you were reaching your limit. “Are you close?”

“If you keep doing that with my balls I might.”

Without even knowing how, you found yourself both spent, your head propped against the headrest of the sofa, cradled in his arm, his sensitive eyes hidden in the crook of your neck, mouthing at it in the calm that possessed him after an orgasm.

“We’re way better.” You replied.

“That’s why I usually watch our videos.” He deadpanned.

Hoseok

“Yes? No? Maybe?”

“I think it’s a yes.”

“Great. Amazing.” He grabbed some lube and poured it over himself. “Is it good like this?”

“Perfect.”

“Want me to switch the light off?”

“No, the bedside lamp is good.” You answered sweetly.

“Do you want me to start?”

You paused and licked your lips. “I think I’m a bit nervous.”

“I don’t really understand why, but I think I’m a tad nervous too.”

You suddenly sat up, your mood set aflame. “Yeah, right, I mean, we’ve done way more kinky stuff than this. I don’t get why I’m so tense.”

“Maybe it’s because we usually don’t plan it like this. It comes natural.”

“I mean, some nights we do plan it out like a week ahead, so everything’s ready and we don’t risk any accident. But it’s just jerking off, in front of each other. I’ve touched myself in front of you so many times already. Fuck me, I actually squirted while you fingered me. Why am I so damn tense?”

“It’s okay, sweetie. No need to do this tonight.” He said, understandingly, not a sliver of disappointment in his voice.

“But look at you.” You frowned. All you wished was to reach out and touch him. “You look so hot.” He was hard, naked, beautiful in front of you.

“What do you want me to do?” He said, leaning over you, kissing you with devotion.

You needed to have control. His usually domineering attitude didn’t relax you tonight. You needed to hold the reins. That’s when the idea struck you: you rummaged in the drawer beside the bed, finding one of the first articles you’d bought as a couple. A silky black blindfold.

He looked at you. “I guess that’s not for you.” He smiled.

“Not tonight, no.”

You hoped he trusted you enough to let you watch him while he couldn’t see you. “Do you want to put it on me?”

“Sit against the headboard. You’ll be more comfortable.” His face got warm at your display of concern.

He settled as you suggested, pressing a frilly kiss against his smile, your hands slipping the blindfold around his head and over his eyes. “You ready?” You asked.

“Whenever, darling.”

“Can’t wait to see you like this, Hobi.” You were trembling with anticipation to see him this vulnerable.

In the meanwhile he had noticed how sensitive his senses grew when his vision was inhibited. He thought your breathing was already louder. Had you already started touching yourself? His memory helped him create an image. You kneeling, knees wide apart, your whole palm moving in circles against your lower belly, every motion inching closer to your intimate parts.

He grabbed the base of his shaft, the lube now warmer though a bit dry. He felt your weight dip the mattress on each side of his hips, then a warm liquid falling over his sex, from the tip to the base. “Is that you?”

“Thought you needed it wetter than that,” you said apprehensively.

“Thank you. Is it…”

“You love it when I use my saliva.”

“Good god.” The sudden image of you, eyes closed, mouth open and drool dripping down your tongue.

Then he heard your quiet moan. “Are you touching yourself already?”

“Two fingers inside me. I could probably insert a third. You’re so sexy. You’re making me so fucking wet I’m dripping, Hobi.”

“Let me feel it. Can I use it to stroke myself?”

You guided the hand on his cock between your legs, dragging against the inner side of your legs, where your thighs grew tender, and you let him feel how your wetness reached even there. Impatiently he cupped your cunt. “Sweetie, you’re so warm and sensitive. You must be so turned on. So fucking plump. And so, so wet.” He licked his lips and brought his hand to his mouth. “So sweet. If I entered you now I would be gone in seconds.” He chuckled. “So embarrassing.”

“It’d be lovely. You’d like it so much you wouldn’t even be able to help yourself. And we know you’re always ready for multiples,” you giggled. “It wouldn’t affect your overall perfect streak at all.”

“I love making you cum with my fingers.” In the meanwhile he was back to your thighs, using his full hand to tease you with some friction, then using your wetness on his dick, tugging himself slowly but with quite some pressure. “I love getting hard again while I finger you. You’re ten times tighter when I enter you again. And you always lose it. Really, it’s so easy to overstimulate you. It’s my favourite thing.” He emitted a grunt as he reached the tip and circled his all palm over the sensitive sponge tissue, the colour a bright red.

You thought of how easy it would be to make him cum now if you trapped his glans between your cheeks and tongue, rolling it against his frenulum. Your hips started undulating on their own against your fingers. Hoseok immediately heard the small whine you emitted. "I wanna know when you're close."

"I need to see you cum first."

He grew impatient and whiny. "Come on." The rhythm of his hand was now furious, his hips writhing like wild, vicious, the kind of pace that made your legs shake and you eyes roll shut when he moved inside you.

"Come on baby, if you cum I'll let you see me."

"Touch me, please. I need you," he cried, feverishly needy.

One of your hands cupped his balls, the other caressing his face, comforting him. "I'm here, baby."

His panic subsided but his frenzy kept spurring him, his brow creasing. You kissed his forehead, his mouth opening and a silent cry leaving his throat.

You were used to him being noisy and shameless, but this vulnerability and softness were rare and precious.

He came, his semen spilling on his hand and his abs, hot spurts coming out almost endlessly, causing in you both wonder and worry. With his hips slowing down, his essence started bubbling more discreetly on his tip, rolling down in pearly globes down his shaft and onto your hand.

"Are you okay, my love?" You instantly removed the blindfold, his eyes searching for your face.

"It was the most intense thing ever." He said, almost scared, finding peace in your arms.

You stretched to the t-shirt you had abandoned on the bed, drying the sweat on his face. "You are the most marvellous thing I have ever seen." You kissed him again in comfort and praise. "I've got you." You pondered over licking him clean or simply cleaning him with your cloth. Considering how sensitive he must be, you gently dabbed the fabric against his abdomen, then using it to clean your hand and, very with a very light touch, his soft sex.

"Did you…?"

"You were all I needed."

You didn't mind helping him get clean in the shower, your needs shut down by his own.

You didn't mind falling asleep beside him right after you finished taking care of him.

Most importantly, you didn't mind when he woke you up with his mouth on your nipple, pressing his hard on against your clit and finally helping you with your arousal. After all, for him once was never enough.

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angeltrapz · 3 years

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SAW ask time 💚 wld love to hear abt chainshipping + Adam bein autistic— maybe like what Lar notices abt Adam’s stims, things he does for him/ways he helps when Adam needs it. Also for Eric/Adam, maybe any thoughts on Eric finally like.. realizing he’s got a special interest?? ik we’ve talked abt how hard he masks but bein around Adam (n Mallick) helps him relax abt that, so like maybe how does he react + what is th special interest? anything u wanna dish abt!

thank u it’s always SAW ask time in my heart <33

!!! I was just thinkin abt tht!!! our minds 💫

I think th first time he rly sees Adam stimming (i.e. flapping his hands) he’d be like “what’s that?” but not in a rude way - genuinely a tone of “I want 2 know more abt this thing, pls tell me” rather than anything anywhere near condescending/annoyed/mean-spirited like Adam has dealt w fr YEARS at this point. so he’s definitely put on edge a lil bit bc he can’t help it, maybe he starts to like wind down and force himself into quiet hands, but Lawrence is immediately like “no I wasn’t making fun of you!! u don’t have to stop doing it!” which kinda stops Adam short like. what r we doing here. usually when ppl ask me tht they’re also telling me 2 stop. finally Lawrence says “I was just wondering what kind of stim tht was,” like he didn’t almost (accidentally) uproot Adam’s whole shit + is currently Doing So Now by using actual terms tht Adam didn’t know he knew, n so he like takes a moment to absorb tht comment n then he’s like. “oh. it means I’m happy or excited?” and honestly? when Lawrence hears tht? he’s like “oh... so then you’re rly happy? 🥺” n it’s just like. a moment fr both of them lol. (Adam feels Much safer discussing things after tht too, in several ways. it definitely helps w building trust between them!!)

after that though Lawrence definitely takes notice of more things! he’s not afraid 2 ask questions, so tht’s smth tht’s rly good fr them - Lawrence being able to seek information (he also does his own reading + research) to better understand, n not in tht shitty mommy blogger “I know yr in there somewhere” way. he doesn’t want 2 change Adam. he wants a better grasp on wht Adam’s experiences r like so he can help n minimize stress abt certain things. fr Adam tht’s definitely like.. foreign territory, bc as u’ve mentioned b4 + my personal hc as well, his parents didn’t really care 2 get him formally diagnosed + even acted like there was No Way he cld be neurodivergent in any sense, so 2 have some1 who is interested n respectful is So important 2 him. (personal hc time: I hc Adam as both adhd AND autistic like me so there’s tht!!)

so like he takes notice of th way Adam likes 2 roll things btwn his fingers (shirt sleeves, shirt hems, hoodie drawstrings, blankets, soft fabrics he likes the texture of, etc.) n is just like Oh Idea. I like 2 think he gets Adam one of those bead lanyards (like this one, which I also have!) fr him to fidget w n he kind of presents it like “I thought maybe u wld like smth like this?” n honestly he’s a lil nervous abt what Adam is going 2 say. but Adam takes it n holds it fr a minute, rolling th beads n messing w th lanyard itself 2 kind of test it, n he just looks up n smiles n he’s like “I love this. u’ve been paying tht much attention??” n fr Lawrence it’s just like “yes? of course? bc I love u?” like it’s th simplest thing in th world n Adam’s just. Huh. no he does Not tear up, if Lawrence told u tht he’s lying. he’s just Rly not used 2 ppl who want 2 know more without wanting to “get inside his head” or belittle him fr it (ties into my hc tht fr th most part, Adam hasn’t rly had any Good friends...) so it takes a lil getting used to.

another thing!! Lawrence does is ask 2 listen 2 Adam infodump abt his special interests - esp photography!! like they do this thing where if it’s not too late at night by th time Lawrence comes home frm work, Lawrence will take a quick shower n then get into his pajamas n into bed (just fr some quiet quality time b4 they go to bed, bc he still tends 2 come home a bit late), n he’ll have Adam sit next 2 him n he’ll be like “what do u want to tell me?” bc tht’s another thing tht Adam was entirely unused 2 - having ppl who didn’t just tolerate his infodumping, they wanted to hear it. Lawrence might be th first person to not actually give him shit fr it/tell him he’s being annoying/shut him down completely. again, it takes Adam a lil bit to b fully comfortable w it, but once he is he adores having tht time to be excited abt things w another person! who he knows Wants to listen!! (if we’re going th route I personally like 2 think abt sometimes too, where Lawrence is autistic as well, I feel like they infodump back n forth abt photography n medical stuff. do either of them rly know what the other is saying? not rly. are they listening happily bc that’s their partner n it’s smth they’re excited abt? oh absolutely!)

I think Adam has a tendency to eat a lot of th same foods bc they’re safe n he knows he likes them/doesn’t mind their texture (which is a big issue w trying new foods fr him), which is smth tht Lawrence also takes note of and as such, he likes 2 make sure they’re regularly stocked up on at least some of tht stuff. it’s not even smth he tells Adam he’s doing, bc it’s rly tht simple 2 him - Adam likes these things n therefore we shld have them at th house - but fr Adam it’s just One Of Those Things, y’know?? he got so much shit as a kid fr being such a “picky eater” n got shit fr it as a teenager too bc “why don’t u ever try anything new??” was smth his friends/parents Loved 2 say. it’s th fact tht Lawrence rolls w it so easily, doesn’t poke or prod for reasons he eats th way he does, and doesn’t get upset w him fr it/try 2 force him into things he isn’t comfortable w. it means a lot to him, more than he’ll ever have words 2 say (but he does always kiss Lawrence’s cheek when he gets back frm th store n he sees some of his same foods, which is just as good). it’s loving tht he’s autistic because it’s a part of him, a fact, not despite or in spite of. tht’s what’s so nice n kind of healing abt it; feeling safe 2 express yrself as u are w a partner who u know u can trust. who maybe words questions a bit funny sometimes, completely unintentionally, not out of malice (where allistic Lawrence is concerned, anyway). Adam feels Safe, n tht means a lot 2 him.

as fr ways he helps him!! a big thing is tht Lawrence is observant, esp as they spend more n more time together. a lot of th time, even when it’s just th two of them alone, Adam might have trouble maintaining eye contact fr an extended period of time, n Lawrence might not know how much it Actually helps, but he doesn’t mind tht Adam doesn’t always look at his face when they’re talking. it’s smth tht takes a little getting used 2, but he was never shitty about it w Adam. the way he sees it is if it makes Adam more comfortable, why shld he get upset abt it? it’s not like he doesn’t know when Adam’s talking 2 him anyway, or tht he can’t tell if Adam is listening; Lawrence knows both of those things, so Adam not making eye contact isn’t a problem, y’know? it’s okay. n I rly don’t know if Lawrence is fully aware of how much Adam appreciates tht.

another thing is he’s patient + understanding when Adam is nonverbal, whether it be bc he’s having a shutdown/meltdown, sensory overload, or just plain Difficulty w speech. it kinda depends on what I’m writing at th time, but I feel like Adam might have picked up at least a lil bit of sign language here n there; mostly simple phrases tht get th point across. I like 2 think Lawrence learns what they mean so he can take tht stress off of Adam’s shoulders, but most times, Adam is just comfortable sitting in silence w someone he cares abt.

OH brief thing Lawrence is RLY good at helping w pressure stims. he gives amazing bear hugs n I feel like he’d also probably let Adam lay on him if they’re on th couch/in bed. I just Feel It.

OHH I think abt Eric finally developing a special interest now tht he feels more comfortable w doing so a lot. honestly I kind of rly like th idea tht his special interest might be info abt rats! it kind of hits him when he catches himself writing down lil facts (tht might not even be related to pet care!) in his notebook so he’ll remember them + always being excited 2 learn more n share what he’s learned. it makes Adam SO happy to see him being comfortable w tht aspect of himself, esp now that he’s safe to explore it w ppl who understand n who won’t discourage him/belittle him for it,, Mallick too of course, but Adam knows how much Eric struggled w tht kind of thing for such a long time so he’s just. Ah. 🥺🥺

like they’ll all b chilling on th couch (Eric, Mallick, n Adam) n Eric will have his head against Adam’s shoulder while his hand is on Mallick’s chest, who has HIS head in Eric’s lap w his legs dangling off th armrest, n he’ll be like “did u know tht when rats r happy, they grind their teeth together? it’s called bruxing n then sometimes their eyes move in their sockets rly fast while they’re doing it. tht’s called boggling.” n Adam will be smiling so wide when he says he didn’t know tht but it’s rly cool!! n then Mallick will start asking questions n he n Adam just listen while Eric infodumps fr probably th very first time since he was very very young, before it was masked out of him by his parents. n he finds tht he Doesn’t feel so bad abt it anymore, not when he’s around ppl who want him to be happy and want to see him be happy - esp ppl who encourage it n let him know it isn’t smth he has to hide/keep locked away. it’s hard 2 b ashamed of himself when Adam n Mallick r looking at him w genuine interest in their eyes n so so much love.

he might still like, slip back into masking behaviour every now n then, bc it’s something he’s still dealing w n learning 2 leave behind, but after he discovers his first special interest it gets a little easier, letting go of that way of life. it was smth he was forced into by adults who didn’t actually want th best for him like they said they did when they put him through “therapy,” but w partners he knows understand n who are even autistic themselves, Eric slowly learns 2 be more comfortable w it. it’s slow, but it’s progress. bit of a learning curve. he’ll get there.

#just if anyones curious yes I am also autistic #I know I mentioned tht in th response itself but U Know!#saw #adam #lawrence #eric #mallick #asks #god I love getting asks frm u u Understand me #tysm!!!! I appreciate it a whole lot things have been sort of rough #oh another note I kind of write adam at least w a lot of my mannerisms/experiences #it's what I know lol

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spelltorn · 3 years

Text

𝑯𝑨𝑷𝑷𝒀 𝑶𝑵𝑬 𝒀𝑬𝑨𝑹, 𝑵𝑶𝑿 ! ( day two : six characters . )

↳ i can’t reiterate this any more than rachel or cherry or maeve already have , but it was so hard to narrow this down , and at the end of the day , it almost became a love letter to all of you . nox is SUCH an amazing space and all of y’all are incredible and talented and i’m so , so glad to have been able to be part of it for the last six ( how has it been ?? six ?? ) months . so let’s rock n roll -

𝚋𝚕𝚊𝚒𝚜𝚎 𝚣𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚗𝚒 ( @ofzvbini ) - mozz. listen. LISTEN. every day that i see a blaise post on the dash i gain three years on my life. i could write a thesis on why your blaise (and luna......and ofc even eulalia........) is hands down the most well - written and well - crafted portrayal i’ve ever gotten to write alongside. blaise is one of those characters in canon that we really didn’t get to see much of (even what we DID see, death to the author baby), and you’ve fleshed him out into such a nuanced and compelling character. there’s this casual elegance that comes with every word you write about him that i’ve never felt before in someone’s writing. maybe i’m easily charmed or maybe blaise is just ridiculously charismatic, idk, but i’m so sucked in with the lyricism of the narrative you’ve crafted for him. it’s beautiful and layered and so, so entertaining to follow along with.

𝚊𝚟𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚗 𝚋𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚘𝚛 ( @avalcn ) - alyssa, my love for u and lonnie knows NO bounds. i was so excited when i saw you had come back and brought her with you - watching as you weave her into the fabric of the nox canon and the hp universe as a whole is fascinating and fun and so ? fresh ? for lack of a better word. i always have so much fun talking and plotting with you because avalon is a character that really gripped me from the start. she feels like she belongs here and is really just a fun character to continually be learning more and more about. i also feel obligated to mention how much i love the ron and avalon dynamic here - after we first talked about them it really just sort of felt natural and integral to him as a character following the second war that avalon was also there. it’s so easy to bounce off of you and them and the unique feel of avalon - i’m so excited to be able to write more with her!!

𝚗𝚒𝚔𝚘𝚕𝚊𝚒 𝚔𝚊𝚛𝚔𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚏𝚏 ( @monstrovs ) - you know how i told you a couple weeks ago that the one year anniversary would be me turning into a rachel lovebot? yeah. consider this part one. you have no idea how hard it was to choose just one of your characters - it got to the point where i had to consider the day three prompt and where else i could shower you with my undying love and affection, because honestly, i’m obsessed with every single one of your characters.

niko, however, is one of those characters that i regularly forget isn’t plucked directly from canon. there’s so much humor to him as a concept and the way you write about him, but every reply never ceases to make me more and more intrigued by his characterization. he’s genuinely such a fascinating character to learn more about, and is unlike any i’ve been lucky enough to write against - he, like the rest of your characters, just feels so real. there’s a rawness to the karkaroffs that feels uniquely human, despite the total fuckin memeing about them. your narrative for niko is so clever and gritty and captivating; he, and the karkaroffs, are just incomparable.

anyway have it on the record that i love this unhinged bastard and i love u

𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚖𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛 ( @dolors ) - the love in my heart for you and all your chars........unbound. your talent? amazes me every day? it’s ridiculous. it was so hard to choose between lucius and hermione for this, but i am nothing if not a hermione granger stan, and i’m never over the amount of care you’ve put into your portrayal. hermione is such a grounded and flawed character - sometimes it can be easy to reduce the core book characters into their most basic tropes, but the way you write her only continues to build and flesh hermione out into something far beyond what canon could have ever accomplished. you capture her in a way that just brings her to life - all of her vibrancy and wit and blunt edges and strength, as well as the twinge of sadness that runs as a sort of undercurrent to everything she’s gone through. your voice for hermione feels natural in the way that writing does for people who clearly just love a character; it’s lyrical and distinct, and so so beautiful to read. not only that, but i find it incredibly easy to bounce off of and reply to; threads with hermione (any of your characters, really), are often some of the most effortless for me to feel inspired by and start cranking out responses for. every thread i have with you always pushes me and inspires me in a way that feels so unique to you and nox. moral of the story is that i love all of your characters and your big brain and i can’t wait to see what else we come up with as nox goes on!!!

𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚎 𝚠𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚕𝚎𝚢 ( @dragonw ) - charlie......charlie weasley if ur reading this im free on thursday. pls respond and then hang out with me on thursday when i am free -

bee, the way you’ve taken charlie and turned them into so much more than what was given in canon is unmatched. i could write sonnets on how much i love this family, and all three of your characters, but there’s something about charlie that i really have a soft spot for. charlie as a character is so fuckin cool - the epitome of the rad older sibling we all deserve, tbf. but you’ve also turned them into a flawed, compelling human being that leaps out of every reply you write. the weasleys have gone through so much, and i love seeing the way that impacts and shines through in your writing - there’s this warmth and liveliness that emanates from charlie, and the thread of anxiety and regret that’s interwoven so well alongside it is so lovely to read.

𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜 ( @pclearwaters ) - vicky. vicky!!! i could write essays forever on why i love each and every one of your characters. having me root for dudley dursley? the way you’ve integrated him into the wizarding world? icb how big your brain has to be to accomplish everything you have with him. and alicia? alicia spinnet could punch me in the face and i would thank her. but instead of going wax poetic on them, i’m going to cheat a lil bit by talking abt tempest AND penny. you’ve taken a character that’s given so little in canon, and developed them into something larger than life and wildly fun to keep up with. the entire family sucked me in - their death eater ties. penny defecting. tempest’s history and personality like nature in all of its extremes. the relationship between the two of them. everything in between - i have no words for how in awe i am of everything you’ve done with them, and i can’t wait to see what you have planned for the future!!

#i got lazy and just didn't make graphics but just u wait until i try to make the dynamics gifset #nox.task

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painfog · 4 years

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Hey so I saw you mention top surgery and was curious. I was supposed to be having top surgery this summer but that’s postponed. I was curious how that went with chronic pain? I’m scared about the surgical binder with my fibro and back pain. Any advice or info would be greatly appreciated!! (You can answer privately if you prefer)

ive actually been meaning to write up a big post on this pretty much since i had top surgery but still haven't got around to it yet so I'm happy to talk about it lol. ill go over stuff now n still aim to do a more in depth post later when im on my laptop (but writing this now bc i tend to forget everything haha). ill stick to the more fibro / chronic illness specific stuff & stuff i wasnt expecting rather than rehashing everything. apologies im on mobile so i cant put this under a cut

firstly, im sorry ur surgery got postponed! i know that must be gutting, so i hope it gets rescheduled asap & the time until then passes easily for u ❤️

I had double incision with free nipple grafts on the 4th of september 2019 with Mr Miles Berry at the london wellbeck hospital. i think he did an amazing job and can't recommend him enough for his work! i think the last pics i took of my chest were for tdov, and ill rb them after i post this for reference. i didnt have drains at any point of the surgery

for ppl with fibro, i was told that the pain after surgery either tends to trigger a flareup, or be really easily manageable, and it's hard to predict which it will be beforehand. its best to prepare for a flareup and be pleasently surprised if u dont get one. for me, i had a flareup that sucked but wasnt too bad as far as flareups go

you'll probably get given painkillers. take them regularly. it's easier to treat pain preemptively. if u don't get given them (no idea how it works outside of the uk) id say def get codine and paracetamol. u can't take ibuprofen for a while

i woke up from aneasthetic freezing cold + in a lot of pain. apparently most ppl dont need the full dose of morphine, but i did. after that it was a bit better. i was just So Goddamn Hungry literally it's all i was talking about

that night in hospital was probably one of the most uncomfortable in my life. you have to sleep sitting up for like blood reasons, so my back pain was quite bad bc of it. moving around a bit and adjusting pillows helped. if u have anything that normally helps ur back pain bring it with u to the hospital, & dont be afraid to ask the nurses for help with it (even if they can just adjust ur pillows for u). i couldnt rly sleep much but distraction helps. bring ur phone + headphones. i did a few ask memes when i couldnt sleep

the first week from surgery was rly tough, the first few days especially. this was bc i still had to sleep elevated for a few days and i couldnt get comfortable. i was too exhausted to do anything but couldn't sleep and it rly started to get me down. then i got some sleeping tablets (just nytol) and that helped so much. i literally cannot recommend it enough bc the not sleeping properly made everything hard (and like esp because with fibro the whole pain/fatigue/depression cycle is so real). once i started sleeping better recovery became a lot easier, and the tablets made the awkward sleeping positions more manageable. if i had to give only one bit of advice this would be it

on that note, ik everyone says this but do get a V pillow. it helps u adjust to sleeping on ur back and if u sleep on ur side normally it means u can like lean slightly sideways on it which makes it sm easier. also this isn't even top related but they make good back pillows when ur watching stuff in bed even now

get urself some video games (if ur into them) and easy entertainment shows lined up for when u wanna have them. recovering from major surgery makes ur fatigue even more pronounced so ur not going to be able to do all that much, but having light entertainment ready to go stops u getting as bored. its also a good excuse to finally play/watch the things you've been meaning to for a while

go outside when u can. if u have a garden just walk around it. it helps with a lot of stuff, and idk about u but i always forget how much it does. even just helping u sleep better if u get trapped in a fibro fatigued-but-can't-sleep cycle. and it goes so far helping u feel human in the first week

the first week is rly hard for a lot of ppl - its frustrating to have all that pain and exhaustion and not being able to wash or change the binder, and with the swelling and bandages under the binder it doesn't really feel like there's much change, which all sort of adds together. i keep going on about this week bc it helps to mentally prepare for it - there's no need to dread it, you just need to remind urself how worth it itll all be and that the rest of recovery is a lot better than the first part, and in time it won't have seemed that bad. big picture stuff

when u get the chest reveal, everything's better. i didnt stop smiling. and when u put the post op binder on afterwards, without all the bandaging, u like feel for the first time how much flatter u are??? and its amazing. even with the swelling. and then u get to shower and u feel human again and its great. (ik some ppl have their post ops/chest reveals much earlier than a week, but 5 days to a week is pretty standard in the uk. mine was 6 days i think)

more post op binder stuff: i got given 2. the first one i woke up in after the surgery and wasn't allowed to take off until my post op, and the second one i got given at my post op to change into after i showered. After that i alternated every few days. whatever u get given, if u get less than 2 i recommend getting another one so u can alternate them (if u want help sourcing them hmu. ive also still got mine i need to give away)

the post op binders were actually a lot easier to wear full time than normal binders. they were like more stretchy, and stretchy the full way round (bc they dont have the compression bit at the front). i used to sleep in my normal binder every time i slept with my ex, and that hurt like a motherfuck sometimes. the post op binder was much kinder to my ribs

i had to wear the post op binder full time, taking it off like once a day to shower n let my chest breathe (and massage my scars once i started that). some surgeons arent that strict abt wearing it that long, but it really helps swelling, & bc i didnt have drains it was rly important to stop fluid buildup. ik quite a few guys in my trans groups who stopped wearing their binder fairly early and then got quite a lot of swelling so i didn't want to risk it & i wore it for the full 6 weeks. at some point (icr when but maybe at 6 weeks? bc my post op was at 8 weeks bc he was on holiday) i didnt wear it during the day and only wore it at night

all in all the binder didnt bother me that much. it was more comfortable than my regular binders and i just kinda got on with it. it was annoying tho and i was glad when i could stop wearing it. for me the most annoying part was that it was a full length binder (i always wore half length before) and the riding up at the hips was rly irritating. i actually quite liked sleeping with it tho it was a pretty nice pressure stim ahah

some post op binders r more comfortable than others. if u have to buy ur own, i rly suggest going with a proper surgical one (they arent too hard to find second hand for free or cheap, again im happy to help here) bc they're kinder to chronic pain. i know that having a comfortable post op binder made it all a lot easier for me. there are also lots of alternatives w lots of price ranges tho, so that's not ur only option

ok i think thats everything right now! sorry its so long, but let me know if u have any questions!!

finally: before i got top ppl told me that its honestly life changing, and i didnt realise how true that would be. literally every single aspect of my life is at least partially better because of it, and most of them drastically so. I'm really excited for you to get that for yourself, and im wishing u all the best for it 💕

#and like i said ill post a more complete version at some point when i have time and my laptop #but dw that one ill be able to put under a cut #asks #long post #top surgery #fibromyalgia #is there a tag for chronically ill trans ppl?? i feel like there should be the venn diagram is pretty chunky #medical //#also its 2am as im writinf this lmao sorry if it doesnt make sense

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mocweepe · 4 years

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i have a question... how did you guys find out if you have identity compartmentalization(????) and do u think u could describe a bit of what its like? (sorry if uve already talked abt this)

ok so n case some1 who doesn know wht it iz comes across dis: 3 of have already explained wha it iz/how it worx 4 us here, here, n here (n chronological order) so u can see dohs real quick!!!!!!

also, i wana make dis note real quick: we r not an example of an endogenic system. while we r an example of plurality w/o DID/OSDD, we do not use terminology dat izn ours.

as 4 how we found out abt it...

well, when we realized being plural (n sum way, shape, or form) was a possibility, we began trying 2 pay a lot more attention 2 our behavior nd how we felt. wed regularly ask ourselves, "am i sunny? do i feel like im sunny?"

the first time it was clear it wasn me out (da zombie was firs), das kina when we knew we were plural. we call us a result of identity carpmentalization (IC) 4 dese reasons:

we know i have dealt w conflicting traits n how 2 rationalize dat, which iz wht causes da subconscious 2 sort dem n2 dif personas (personas=/=individuals necessarily) n da firs place.

we used process of elimination. we know we don have DID, n we're still doin research w OSDD admittedly, but w da information we had/still have, iz da most likely reason were plural.

a big difference between plurality w IC n DID/OSDD specifically, iz dat w DID/OSDD u have alters thru-out ur childhood n stuff, whereas w IC, ur aspects mightve developed l8r on, likely whenever ur trying 2 find an identity 4 urself (which, w developmental theories, usually happens n teen/early adulthood, buh sum ppl do develop faster/slower dan others), as das when ull rlly have 2 realize dese different personas exist n dey have 2, as well.

it should b noted, doh, dat not every1 dat has IC feels plural, iz only when dohs personas feel like individual ppl dat it results n plurality.

wht iz like 4 us:

iz a lot of asking like, "who am i rn?" n goin thru who we know iz here, n asking dohs individuals names (except 4 w zombie who doesn have 1 >> lolol).

if none of dohs fit, den dat means weve found some1 new, n we generally start w making our picrew, which might sound silly, buh being able 2 visualize wht we look like helps w naming ourselves n lets us express ourselves 2 show who we r n wht were like. den dey name demself n write deir official blurb (how we keep track) n w/e order dey want. den we introduce dem.

when were switching out, iz most usually been kina. smooth transitions if dat makes sense? da only time i can remember well iz when pearl was firs replacing da zombie. it was jus him, den dey were out 2gether 4 a bit, n den she took over so we could get ready. she kina followed a dif formula dan every1 else, nd nstead, mapped out who they r by having us like. interview them n da shower xD

iz kina hard 2 describe wht iz like being plural n general cuz like. iz not 1 person experiencing it, yk?? buh i hope dat helps at least sum maybe!! i know m not da only person plural thru IC, so if u r, pls feel free 2 add ur experiences!!!!!!! ty ^♡^

ending:

usually questions like urs, anon, r asked when folks r questioning whether dey have/r someting or not. if das da case w u, i rlly hoped dis helped, n i wana wish u luck on ur journey 2 finding dis out ^♡^

if u were jus asking out of curiosity, doh, das totally fine 2, n i hope i answered well enuf 2 quench dat curiosity <]]] either way, if u (or ne1 else) have ne more questions, wed b happie 2 answer dem!!!!! have a good day!! ^♡^💞💞💞💞

#07 #graphite gambit #ic?

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strvwberryblcnde · 4 years

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👫 lana & dom

send a 👫 and I’ll write four headcanons i have about our muses’ relationship.

lana buys lots of things on random whims n i feel like smthn she wld have bought the summer her n dom started properly seeing each other is a polaroid camera. probably one of those fujifilm mini ones in pink w stickers on of holographic mermaids n butterflies. n all her friends wld be subject to hving their photos taken on this at 447294734 parties but fr the most part like 50% of the film wld be spent on dom esp considering how often they’d see each other. i cn imagine her being annoying abt it e.g. bursting in unannounced when he ws showering n flinging the curtain bk n shrieking in delight as she tkes a pic of him in there. penis NOT in shot (lana ws very disappointed when she realised altho inevitably dom ws relieved). it ws probably rly blurry too from her springing out of nowhere n running away after she’d dazed him w the flash bt lana wld never dream of throwing it away she’s probably like ugh cole sprouse WISHES he ws me tht stupid i’m weird i’m a weirdo bitch i’m taking his photographer crown n i’m loving it..... another time if she ws wearing his tshirt or smthn jst to laze around in she wld have tried to convince dom to wear her cropped bowie t-shirt she usually lounges in she’d b like OUTFIT SWAP!!!! like it ws a reality show segment. she’d do his hair w her strawberry clips n everything n wna take a polaroid of tht as well. a majority of these polaroids wld b taken w her sat on top of him in bed peeping thru the viewfinder n grinning sickeningly wide after. she’s bad at organisation bt she wld keep very close track of these polaroids n treasure them a lot bc they’d document a summer where she was rly rly happy. probably took them with her to la too she jst has them hidden somewhere.... idk if she’d ever b able to bring herself to throw them away to b honest

i jst had this vision of lana n dom taking franklin to the park n i already told u abt how she’d tell franklin tht she gives the flowers all their own names n say he shld come up w his own names fr them too bc it’s more fun tht way bt. i cn imagine if they saw two bees trying to pollinate the same flower n like buzzing close to each other if franklin pointed it out lana wld gasp n be like OMG they’re in love. they’re married bees. u can tell frm how bright their stripes r they’re extra yellow n glowing like the sun tht’s what happens. tht means they’re in love franklin. n idk if franklin wld say this or not bt if he asked what loves like lana wld b like hmMMM well. love’s kind of like being first in the queue fr the best rollercoaster. or licking the sugar off ur fingers when they’re all sticky frm candy floss. going to the zoo n getting to see all ur favourite animals on a day tht’s sunny but not TOO hot. enough to give ur nose freckles bt not burn ur shoulders. make u feel toasty like ur inside a cocoon. n love’s like........ she’d pause here. she’s crouched dwn on his lvl as she says this mayb dom hs walked off to get them ice creams n she briefly lks at him in the distance as he’s paying before lking bk at franklin. scrunching her nose playfully as she tries to stall. when she hesitantly continues she’s like. n love’s like getting home after tht perfect day at the zoo n finally getting into bed w fresh sheets when ur sleepy n ur eyes r all droopy n heavy. the pillows r fluffy n it’s safe n warm n all of the gd in the world at once. i think love’s like tht. it’s jst.... nice n stuff. n she’d jst be like :) afterwards realising she’d rambled on n change the subject like hey lk at that BUTTERFLY franklin............. bt i jst think this is. particularly heartwarming to me bc not only wld she have been basing tht on hw she feels abt dom bt. in the past love ws always a thing w barbs tht hurt her whenever she tried to hold it n.... he jst rly transformed her idea of being loved by someone into smthn safe n reliable n consistent......... smthn she cld actually make a home out of instead of constantly hving an eye on the door in case they leave / she needs an escape route..... a relationship isn’t a scary concept w him

lana n dom r like. opposites when it comes to social media esp instagram...... dom jst nt even knowing hw to use it n lana posting so regularly hving a small following fr her fashion n whtever.......... i feel like lana wld try to teach him how to use it bt it wld consist of a lot of her being like no that’s--.... dom that’s--.... that’s not ri--.... n jst throwing her head bk n cackling so much she wld b rly endeared by him being clueless abt it she’d be like ommmmmmmmmg it’s ok i’ll b steve jobs n u can be my sexy assistant tht just has to strut besides me like a car dealership model whenever i go on stage to debut the nxt technological advancement. dom wld have to be like... isn’t he dead? lana wld gasp so suddenly n be like omfggggggggg tht explains why me calling this tech nerd wearing a turtleneck steve jobs lst week bombed so hard mayb he thought i ws telling him to die..... dom’s probably like... i doubt he thought tht lana..... she wld laugh at the thought of this anyway n change topics jst the worst attention span already over it. ALSO this is instagram related bt.... bev.kingston wld rly centralise her hate crusade onto dom when it became clear they were dating / things gt mre official n serious. mostly lana wld b like this is so funny n dumb bt.... i think she wld dm bev.kingston one time being like. ok all jokes aside can u cool it a little on the dom hate not to b gross bt he makes me rly happy n i dnt want him to b sad if he ever advances beyond a technological grandpa n sees all this stuff. bev.kingston wld literally screenshot this n post it on her insta like LANA AND I HAVE BEEN IN CLOSE CONTACT I HAVE DECIDED EVANS BOY IS ON TRIAL BASIS EVEN IF I HATE IN MY HEART AND KNOW FREYA IS ONE FOR HER n she’d update her page like 21/08/2020 LANA DM’D ME ABOUT EVANS BOY (or whtever the date ws) n it’d be sm. lana wld b embarrassed she’d try to get her to delete it she’d b like fk my fking life ur sick bev ur lit rally sick.....

lana treats halloween as a week long celebration she goes to sm parties tht she literally hs to have like..... 482759872 costumes planned each yr. n fr one of them. she’d b like let’s go as each other :) n she’d dress as an angel n he’d dress as a devil. she’d put on red lipstick before they went purely to “help w his costume” n it’d jst consist of her leaving lipstick prints on his cheek n neck n hip even if. his hip wsnt visible w the top he ws wearing she’d b like dom listen.... listen. it’s literally part of the vision n it’s necessary......... it doesn’t matter if ppl can’t see it we’ll both kno it’s there n it’ll elevate the look so mch...... w that attention to detail u cld even b in the running fr winning a prize...... then she wld take the lipstick off like it wldnt even be part of her outfit she only put it on to do this specifically. she’d insist on them getting a photo tgether n it’d b a bit gross it’d b a whole thing she jst.... wld b very proud to b seen w him she’d show him off a lot.... if anyone complimented her outfit she’d b like ya n have u seen dom he’s a devil we match :) n if there ws another pair tht had worn the same which i mean there probably might it isn’t a hugely original concept bt lana wld be like......... ummmmm tht guy is the most pathetic devil i hv literally ever seen..... if she ws drunk she might even b like ummm.... hw does it feel fr dom to be a sexier devil than u............... does it sting? jealous i bet....... n dom wld have to b like lana please.... im sry abt her.... u lk gd haha...... cushioning the blow. taking her hand n leading her away. n lana is jst tittering n murmurs in his ear like. he knew it ws true u cld see it in his eyes. he knew u lkd better than him.

#lana jameson | dominic evans #meme #this is so beefy too god.... dabs forehead #hallcween

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barryslightningrod · 4 years

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Hey!🤗 How ‘bout 27, 28 & 39! Thank you!✌️

27. best review you ever got

I love every review I’ve ever gotten ❤️ Including the gif responses on Tumblr 😂 But these are some I’ve saved to read when I’m having a bad day that make me laugh or make me tear up. I couldn't pick one and they remind me how much fun this is:

“My word! This fic is amazing! What I loved most about it was that it's quite poetic and artistic in creating its own canvas of Barry and Iris, how colourless both of them felt after the breakup and how full of life they are together. I genuinely enjoyed the art commentary at the beginning and the seriously hawt sex. Hot damn. The paintbrush should have grossed me out but it was seriously hot af.”

“Where does one even start with this precious story you've given us? You paint such a beautiful setting with the ice cream parlour and Noah's feelings of having to work on such a busy summer day and of course, the sweet West-Allen family. I love the idea that Barry and Iris's love creates this little bubble around them that protects them and that they unintentionally get lost in their own little world with just the two of them. It only makes sense that this little world would expand to include their two sweet children. So much loves abounds between them, so much so that even Noah can see it in such a short amount of time. This story captures all that Barry has ever wanted: building a life with Iris and making their own traditions with their children while also keeping the memory of his parents alive as best as he can. Goodness. This is truly such a special little story.”

“Whew, chile....this had my blood pumping first thing in the morning. LOL. OOC or not this was SUPER HOT so thank you for sharing.”

“Once again, love the character reveal, specifically, Iris's determination, self-reliance and work ethic, even while masturbating! But like you say in one of the comments, I can only imagine that she does feel like this regularly. While there are many, many benefits of being with a speedster, there are a ton of drawbacks and regular loneliness is one of them.But check out how neither of them is surprised when Barry returns. She's relieved and not embarrassed and he just comes in and finishes the job without hesitation. sigh.”

The stories I've read from you so far are perfect in rendering the sheer emotion that's generated between these two. You can really feel the palpable force or love and pain, joy and sorrow between them. It makes reading that much more enjoyable”

“OMG *CRIES* THIS WAS SO TENDER AND SO FLUFFY CUTE I DIE!!!!!This cuteness is TO MUCH FOR MY POOR HEART *AHH*I DONT THINK THERE ARE WORDS ENOUGH TO EXPRESS MY LOVE FOR THIS OMG (Hence all the caps)“What’s your treasure, Daddy?” Don poses.“You guys are my treasure,” Barry answers with soft reverence, the glimmer in his eyes as he looks upon hischildren visible even from where Iris stands, and her heart swells so tremendously that she feels it might burst."*flows of tears* OH MY GOSH!!! BARRY ALLEN IS THE BEST FATHER EVER SERIOUSLY..I MELTED WITH EACH WORDHE WOULD SAY TO HIS KIDS AND HOW LOVING AND CARING HE IS OF THEM WHILE IRIS IS AWAY GAH MY HEART“You’re my treasure, you know that?” she murmurs, clutching him more tightly.His beaming in response is instant as he recognizes that she’s been home all along, and he slides an arm down her back to tug her close to him while they head to their bedroom together.Yup, Iris thinks to herself as she leans her head against her husband's shoulder, upholding what she always believed. I wouldn't change a thing."*DEAD WITH FEELS* AHHH IF THE INTERACTION WITH THE TWINS WASNT ENOUGH, THIS WITH IRIS WAS THE CHERRY ON TOP!!!! GAH SHE LOVES HIM SO MUCH!!! SHE WAS TOTALY IN AWWS OF HIM AND I CAN'TI HOPE WE GET SOMETHING LIKE THIS IN THE SHOW BECAUSE IF NOT IMA RE READ THIS A MILLION TIMES OVER.. IM LIKE DROWNING WITH FEELS RIGHT NOW ITS NO JOKE LOL THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!!!*Goes to a corner to cry some more happy tears*”

“Gorgeous! Iris's love for Barry is so tangible here, and I love how you managed to draw out how Barry says things to Iris and waits for her to interpret them for them both! Such a great piece, and one of my favorite moments! Thanks for writing and sharing!”

“You write sexual sensuality so well. It's so beautiful. It's like you really understand their characters and how they would approach their relationship. Well done, as always!”

“So much perfection. I can practically feel the smut that is to follow. The sizzle is REAL. And how wonderful that Grant's tweet inspired this! Just another wonderful after-effect to CP&GG's flirty twitter convo. hehe.This is my favorite:"His reply is instant. Right now? Your legs, he admits."Lmao. It's just so...like a knee-jerk response. He doesn't think much of it, just answers the question honestly & immediately, and just so casual. That stops immediately with HER VERY SUGGESTIVE response. haha. Oh goodness. But all of this was so lovely & steamy, in only a way yours can be. It's sexting for crying out loud & yet the UST is just...I mean..."Goddammit, Iris."XD So fabulous. Can't wait for your next piece!(Oh & also! - Even for The Flash? Especially for The Flash. lol)”

“Thank yo so much for this amazing fic. I wanted a fic like this for so long, even though about writing it myself but with lack of time it's hard. This is everything I wanted, because ever since she said she couldn't stop thinking about him and really wanted a fic where that was the case and you did it perfectly. Thank you. This is magnificent.”

“This is beautifully written. I wouldn't class it as smut per se but it is most definitely erotic and the pacing was perfect for a short story. I couldn't believe it was only 600+ words because you managed to get so much in there: Iris' regret, Barry's longing which turned into his conviction when they did get it right. Thank you so much for sharing and I hope to see more from you.”

“I couldn't get through a sentence without crying and trembling (you fuck me up). Wow! you took my breath away. It took me forever to finish reading because I had to stop and wipe my eyes several time. Excellent execution! Thank you”

“You did them justice with this short piece. A blow job has no business sounding this romantic, but it is, because you channeled the WestAllen into your words with your amazing talent. Thank you for sharing!”

“Beautiful story. Perfectly in character. I could definitely see them having "private" vows and "public" vows and that Barry would be the one to suggest it....he's such a romantic. Loved this so much and thanks for writing.”

“Ok for real, you are soo sooooo talented and I always look forward to reading your fanfics, those writers should reaaaaally hire you one of these days. Am supposed to be prepping for an exam but am literally glued to my phone right now reading and re-reading your fics, but what can I say.... TOTALLY WORTH IT:-P!!!”

“Inksmudge does westallen better than the tv show does westallen”

“AND PLEASE BE RESPONSIBLE THAT THIS FIC MADE ME SOOOOO TURNED ON AND SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED THINKING ABT WESTALLEN GET ON AFTER SEEING CANDICE AND GRANT GORGEOUS HIATUS FACES ON THEIR RESPECTIVE INSTA TODAY KNOWING DAMN WELL ILL NEVER GET OT ON THE SHOW”

“Whenever I see you posted a story, it's like fanfic christmas or easter. You know, because you don't do it a lot so whenever you do post it's special. It's like when you open your ask on tumblr. I'm just like "Ohh Ink is Back, YAY!" No matter what the story is about. Cheers!”

“I don't know how you do it--how you manage to integrate love, lust, grief and sadness into one beautiful thing. This particular chapter feels like a combination of the ones that came before in terms of themes. Iris trying to maintain on her own, the struggle to have and give up control, her beef with the Speedforce, etc. But I would also like to point out just the DAMN GOOD WRITING. Your writing is so fluid and your vocabulary so rich that you kind of make it look easy, to be honest. But sentences like these are just real gems://She cries his name loudly, moans in euphoria like she needs the Speed Force, God, whoever took him to hear her as a vengeance, to know that she had him back and was never letting him go.//That line just won't let me go.”

28. worst review you ever got

I can't remember if it was my brief story about Barry and Cisco getting haircuts together or the little story I wrote about drunk Iris after Cecile’s baby shower, but someone on Fanfiction.net reviewed it as just “Stupid.” I deleted the comment 😂

39. do you want to be published someday?

I would yes, but I think I would want to be published for poetry or a personal narrative essay as of now. I don’t have many ideas for original fiction at this time, but I would be thrilled to be published for that one day. A girl can dream 😔

#ladykendiceismoi #asks #fic talks #ask games

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