#i try to msg them every day to remind them i love them but like | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mikareo · 5 months

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“ ࣭⸰ ★ post of gratitude ! <3

⊹ ⠀⠀ hi guys! on my old blog, i'd make a post every november to spread gratitude for the mutuals i interact w most n wanted to carry that tradition onto this blog! ily all and hope that your day was wonderful today (unless ur a nanami stan bc that was rlly rough im so sorry abt that ep ajskl)

psa; if u weren't tagged in this post, pls know that i appreciate u very much and would love to interact w u more!! msg me anytime n i'll try my best to visit ur inbox in the near future!

꒰ . . to my readers ꒱

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ thank u so much for supporting my work by reading, liking, sharing, or commenting on any of my writing! i love reading through reblogs and seeing what u guys think of my ideas,, it's so motivating n i appreciate it so much like omg sometimes u got my kickin my feet reading thru ur comments ajskl i hope to post quality content for ur enjoyment n i luv u all,, much more to come as time goes on !!!

꒰ . . to my mutuals ꒱ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ᯇ in alphabetical order

⌗ @chigirizzz ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ hi val! just wanted to say that i love how supportive u are of other creators on the site,, i feel like whenever i see u on the dash ur always hyping someone up or making their day brighter! ALSO i cant believe u also know the voltage otome games bc i feel like i'm crazy sometimes bc no one know what they are LMFAO i hope u had an amazing day !!!

⌗ @doobea ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ dooby!!! i love the bright energy u bring to my dash n i think ur absolutely gorgeous (u ate that choso costume up omg ajskdlf) ur always such a pleasure to interact w n i think ur writing is amazing,, i rlly need to just binge it all one night ESP the choso fics u post bc ur writing rlly captures how much u love him LOL my fav choso worshipper <3 hope yall get married!

⌗ @hesthermay ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ hi pookie teehee,, i haven't answered ur text yet bc i was trying to figure out how to fry chicken (3 of them were raw ajsklf) but i will after i post this lol. ilyvm and i can't wait for u to stay w me,, i'm gonna take u to the mall n treat u to some canes chicken fingers *heart eyes* (i'm typing on my laptop forgive me) you've been w me since my org blog from sept 2020 n i act can't believe how long we've known each other now (3 years!) ur so old like ur my granny but that's ok bc ur my favorite granny ever,, sorry for violating u #ageism is not okay,, i miss u so much n i miss ur bf bc ur my mom n dad (legally) i even miss ur roommate who i actually can't rlly remember the name of but that's not the point i'm trying to make so forget i said that part,, i definitely know his name!!! also i decided that kingsley is my favorite dog u have bc he's tiny n reminds me of my doggie,, luv ya! text u in a bit!

⌗ @itadorey ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ omg hi inez, remember these? no u probably don't bc i got rlly lazy w my blog in the late days (rip aitarose) i love all of the tiktoks u send me n i love ur instagram stories bc they make me laugh n i love how much u love snoopy,, he's literally my idol n there are so many statues of him in my city it's so funny n they always make me think of u. ur my yung gravy queen,, i love u so much n i'm so glad hq tumblr let me meet u even tho it was lowkey traumatizing (yikes) our mudae days were so fun,, esp the night i let that person put the roleplay bot into my server jkals so grateful for u !!!

⌗ @kitorin ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ hiiii souta!!!! i just wanted to say that i LOVE seeing u comment first on my writing posts,, like it motivates me so much bc i know i have such a large support system coming from u n ur so sweet n talented AJSJJJ u were (i think?) my first new mutual on this blog when i first made it,, n you've made coming back to tumblr such a welcoming n amazing experience! i'm so grateful to be ur mutual n i hope you've had an absolutely amazing day!

⌗ @mymegumi ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ firstly BITCH ANSWER MY TEXT. secondly, happy thanksgiving! <3 wish we were spending it together but distance is real n it hates us :( miss u and can't wait to see u whenever that is lmfao like whenever plane tickets decide to stop being so expensive,, so glad we aren't beefing anymore haha that was so silly of us... anyways... whenever i do see u, i'm going to give u a big hug n then we're going to gossip abt everything that's happened since we were last together n it's going to be great bc i'm going to make u watch twice videos n ur gonna love them as much as i do bc i'm ur sister n u have no choice but to love what i love! hahaha... i love you so much n i'm so glad ur my sister #meimei n jiajia 4ever <- that's actually approved by me n that's all that matters bc i'm actually the president of the world and ur my favorite person on it jaklsdf ANSWER MY TEXT BITCH

⌗ @pokkomi ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ chiu u r genuinely one of the most positive ppl i've ever met on tumblr n i love u sm for it like jaskdlfjdkl u always make my day when u reblog a post n reading ur tags is so heartwarming n it makes me want to write a million more pieces just to see what u think of them,, ur theme is absolutely adorable n i love ur alpha wolf pfp bc it's so funny n i was literally giggling when u were answering asks abt it n i saw them on my dash,, i hope that every day is an amazing day for u n if u ever need anything u can come in my pms to chat or my inbox (i will def be saying hi later in urs LOL) have an amazing amazing day n i can't wait for u to post any kind of writing in the future!

⌗ @rewh0re ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ hi hana!!! i'm so glad u popped into my inbox n said hi bc i always saw u interacting w ppl on the dash n i was too nervous to say hi jakfsdlkl i love interacting w u n talking abt whatever n whenever in inboxes or replies,, ur username always makes me giggle n i love it so much (i always read it as 'reo whore' for some reason asjfdkl but i love it) i send ur kuroo fics to my kuroo stan friend n she eats them up,, ur writing style is so beautiful n emotional,, i love the way u structure ur plots w metaphors n repetition n symbolism n everything u put into ur hard work it's all so amazing,, wishing u the very best day tmr ever!

⌗ @wishmemel ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAFI!!!! ik i alr said it but it never hurts to hear a million times n more! i associate u sm w sanrio like idk if mymelo is ur favorite but in my head u r the real life her ajsfkl,, ur so sweet n genuine i love interacting w u n seeing u all over my dash,, I HOPE UR BIRTHDAY WAS AMAZING !!!! ... fixing this bc im screaming bc i can't believe i mixed that up omg... anyways... LUV U

⌗ @yoisami ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ OKAY FIRST i literally LOVE ur theme like it's so cute n so fitting to ur personality i love it sm ajsfkdl saki ur so sweet n i'm so glad we're mutuals bc i always look forwards to seeing u on my dash or going to ur inbox (which i'm lacking on rn but i promise i'll visit it more soon jaskdl!!!!) the way u support ff writing on tumblr is so amazing w ur reblogs n tags,, n i look foward to reading more of ur writing in the future (hopefully i can live up to ur sweet tags!) !!! have an amazing amazing day saki !!!!!!

⌗ @y2kuromi ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ screaming bc i got ur bday mixed up w another mutual but HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN LMFAO !!!! i hope that ur day was so amazing n that i'm not getting this wrong again (SORRY SAFI) !!! mimi ur so nice i'm like giggling so hard rn im so sorry,, happy happy birthday hope it was amazing!

⌗ all of my other loves <3 ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ i love being mutuals w all of u n being a part of such a supportive writing community! ur all so talented n ur blogs r beautiful, i hope ur day was absolutely amazing n that we can interact more in the future (i will be invading ur inboxes that's a promise ajfskdl) !!!! happy november!!!

#<3 gratitude #it’s so crazy posting this at 20 #i was 17 when i started this tradition 😭😭#IM SO OLD #ILY GUYS !!!

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effervescentdragon · 6 months

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It took me ages to find the notif but I know I got tagged by my beloved @antimonyandthyme who is darling dearest dbest and I'm still in the ignoring life phase so here we go <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

80! I have 80 works and 500 msgs in my inbox and I am a bit insane about it.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

535,111. Fuck i didn't know. This is insane.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now, F1. I wrote Silm exclusively for a while, but who knows at this point I'll honestly take whatever gets the creativity going.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

piarles montreal date fic, piarles omegaverse porn, piarles doggystyle porn, sebchal where charles wins monaco 22, charlos engineer au. i'm seeing a bit of a pattern here.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do, or I try to. I go in and I respond in bulk, or sometimes I respond as I see them because I get so many at once I get overwhelmed. If I don't respond it's because I'm overwhelmed but I love and cherish every single one and I go and reread them when I'm feeling down and sad. Just know that all the comments I get are absolutely the best part of writing. <3333

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

in f1, for me it was that one sebchal tumblr ficlet where they didnt have a happy ending and seb was a bastard, which i can't find bcs i write too much and i hate that one. i think if you go into the tag "another pacific rim au you will find a LOT of angsty endings. oh also, my mean prompts. and any makkinen, i think. they are particularly angsty for me.

in silm... damn. me and azh my beloved literally have an angst-off fic. every silm fic i've written is angsty as fuck. maybe the one where maedhros throws himself into the fiery chasm? or any one with lalwen, including the grief ficlets on tumblr? glorfindel/curufin? oooh. i know. silvergifting. my silvergifting.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

For me? piarles star trek au , piarles pirate au, and sebchal old guard au.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not particularly, not traditional "I hate this". I get entitled comments that are like "will you write more" or "write more" or "i wish you'd do this and this" and i either ignore or block them bcs I do this shit for free and nobody is entitled to it.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. I am very good at tender-porn with feelings, or so I've been told.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

AU's. So many AU's. That's my bread and butter. I did do a silm/f1 crossover as I was grappling with my feelings about rpf, but once I crossed the line I never looked back.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! My Simi+ Welcome to Japan got translated wonderfully into Chinese HERE and I'm still soft thinking about it <33333

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I don't think I can do that in the fic. I am playing in @wolfiemcwolferson and @duquesademiel's playground right now, and I do have that silm angst-off fic with my beloved @admirablemonster <3 but I can't write with-with someone.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Steve/Bucky or Kirk/Spock.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Pfffft a million in my drafts? there is so many of them that i started as a way of coping and i dont know really. I still live in hope i'll finish them all.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Emotions? I think I write good emotions. Also, building universes and adapting them in my AU's. Oh, and symbolism. I pack so much symbolism in everything my GODS.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Gahhh. Keeping it to the point. Finishing things. Show-don't-tell.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I like doing it tbh, because it gives me the opportunity to remind myself of the languages and I get distracted ith, for example, Russian grammar. However, these days I only do it for like, tearms of endearment and stuff like that, because I'm also very bad at incorporating translations (i forger), so I'm trying not to torture my readers. I love doing it in Silm for that reason exactly, pondering Quenya and Sindarin grammar aaaaa. Can you tell I'm a linguist at heart? xD

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter, and it was a self-insert OC my beloved.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Sebchal Old Guard AU and Galadriel character exploration fic.

gonna tag, well, those already tagged above and then @deathicus-sling @fingons-rad-harp @absynthe--minded @blorbocedes @ayceeofspades @saecookie @jean----ralphio @nikosheba @brazilgp @milflewis @jaz-the-bard @ruiniel @goddammitjim @colors-of-feeling

and tbh whoever wants to do it? love you all!

#effervescentdragonwrites #f1 rpf #silm fic

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transfemlogan · 5 months

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Texting Headcanons

Patton: using emojis 24/7. Literally every text will have some sort of emoji, even if it doesn't fit the original message. Texts like a dad & a mom combined. Uses grammar occassionally. Usually types in all caps, because he doesn't know how to turn them off. Sends the laughing emoji when he laughs at something. Prefers talking in person if he can.

"HEY, KIDDOS 👋 YOUR HAPPY-PAPPY PATTON LOVES YA ALL! 🥰💙😻"

Roman: uses emojis occassionally. Types in caps when he's excited. Uses capital letters when necessary and never any time else. Shorten words and uses popular acronyms. Says "ROLF" and "LMAO" when he laughs at texts. Uses the sparkle emoji constantly. Loves to facetime. Double texts like CRAZY

"Helloooo~ ✨️✨️ romans here!! A REMINDER for all of u 2 tell me what u thought of the script ASAP bcus thomas NEEEDDS it by tmrw!!!!"

Virgil: shorten every word ever even if its not readable. Types in all lower case with 0 grammar. Sends 💀 or "lol" when he inhales through his nose at something. Keysmashes when he finds something really funny. Prefers to text above all else & will cry if you try to call him. Spelling mistakes all over the place. Hard 2 tell if something is supoosed to be an acronym or if its a mistake?

"im not rding ur stpjd script roman also twll thomas not 2g2 that dumb party on sat or i swear 2 god ill bloqk all of u ok bye also hi pat"

Logan: proper grammar all of the time. Probably ends his messages with "sincerely, logan" (he knows theyre not letters or emails, but he can't help himself.) Says "that was funny" when he finds something funny (very rare). Prefers in person communication or calling, as he is usually busy working and can't text if he's using his hands. Doesn't use emojis ever & finds them so so stupid but will SOMETIMES use the heart emoji if he's comforting virgil or trying to be nice. Learns about tone indicators after virgil tells him & now he uses them all the time. Will start to let loose if he's comfortable around you. Looking at his msgs with virgil is almost like an entirely different person.

"Hello, all. I have read your script, Roman, and will be sending you my edits soon. I find it to be very long and wordy and full of mistakes. /neg You are lucky you have me to help you. Also, Virge, I'll try to get Thomas to not go to that party /srs, as he has many responsibilities that day, such as: cleaning his room, recording, and doing his laundry. Here is a link to my plan for next week. Please let me know if there's any complaints. Sincerely, Logan."

(Virgil: thnk u L . m not reading ur plsn ethr

Logan: Hi Virgil. That is alright. I'll just let you know next time we "hang out". Sincerely Logan.)

Janus: also texts all lower case & never uses commas but does use periods. Loves to use ":)" and "<3" (<- in a mean sarcastic way most of the time). Doesn't express laughter anytime anywhere. Prefers facetime or in person communication. Doesn't text often. Also doesn't respond often. Will leave you on read, he has other things to do. Uses tone indicators only if he is personally texting logan and no one else. Will sometimes not even respond to what you said in the first place.

"oh of course logan let's have thomas work all the time and never ever get any rest. sounds very healthy :). roman i read your script. hi patton".

(Roman: aand jan? What did u think??

Janus: Read 2:43 pm)

Remus: sends nudes in chat. And the most random gore vids he can find. Types in all caps willingly. Sends very strange emojis that dont match up with anything. Responds lightning quick but also ignores everything you say in order 2 send what he wants 2 talk abt so it doesnt even matter. Homestuck speak. Has never read homestuck.

"H3Y0 🦿🍒🛝😝 CHECK OUT TH12 PHOTO I JUST T00K RN. (Sends a dick pic)"

(Patton: 😨 REMUS, PLEASE DELETE. ❌️

Roman: THIS IS WHY WE NVR LET U IN GROUP CHATS !!!! I WISH I COULD WASH MY EYES OUT. 🤮

- Virgil has left the group chat -

Logan: Hello, Remus. That does not look very healthy. We should send you to a physician to get that checked out. Sincerely, Logan.

Janus: read 2:48 pm)

#revy.txt #sillies!#fam ily

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deluweil · 1 year

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I’m back! Having just rewatched… still so many thoughts, but noticed that in the final coma scene as Daniel follows Buck into the room there’s a whiteboard behind them with something written on it…

I believe that it’s one from It’s a Wonderful Life (though I’ve never watched it) - remember no man is failure who has friends

I could absolutely go on a rant about the significance of this but wondered if you had any thoughts until I can get something more coherent down 😅

Lol, I remember seeing this one first watch, and I was like, yeah, Buck has his friends, his work family, the family that chooses him every day.

His bio family did a number on him, which has had him believing he's not worth anybody's time unless he's hurt or useful for years.

And in that dream world, he doesn't go to his bio family for help, he goes to his chosen family. To Chimney and Hen and Bobby - the siblings figures and the father figure.

That msg on the wall is a reminder of what is waiting for him. He never failed his chosen family, and they have never failed him, and as long as he has them, he will be okay.

This also threw me to 3x03, where Buck tries to understand why Eddie leaves him with Christopher after the tsunami, Eddie tells him, "And what, you think you failed him?" And "I love him enough to never stop trying, and I know you do too."

Buck's chosen family never failed Buck, and he never failed them, and even through the highs and lows, they never stopped trying because they loved each other enough to never give up.

Unlike certain bio parents, whom, according to Oliver, will be gone by next episode.

Buck's friends, his true family, the one he fought to return to (like in s3, minus the lawsuit), they will be there for him when he really need the support.

This is the unbaked version😅, tell me what you think? 👀❤️

#911 ask #evan buckley #118 firefam #911 spoilers #oliver stark #911 fox #deluweil answers #911 speculation

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myelocin · 1 year

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tw: mentions of suicide

this past week has been a rollercoaster of even shittier dips bc of (the same root problem i unfortunately cannot get away from). and it’s hit me even worse than all the other times. what i went through just prompts me to come here to hopefully get the message across to somebody who may resonate w it now that i am speaking and thinking with a clearer head. three days ago i could barely speak clearly. i was angry, hurt, extremely terrified—above all, exhausted. but i feel the need to say this bc i feel that this is an unspoken problem a lot of us unknowingly carry:

you are not responsible for people and their actions. the burden is not on you if somebody tries to off themselves. you are not evil for establishing boundaries, ceasing contact, and curating your space to serve your peace and wellbeing.

the “im gonna k*ll myself so this is the last time i’ll ever msg u for a favor,” is a line i have heard my own father and sibling say to me time and time again every time i didn’t do what they wanted me to do. i used to feel so heavy all the time because of it. i felt chained in my environment. that threat felt like a creeping ghost that would sit on my shoulders everyday, trading shadows for flesh, growing so heavy it became tangible. and it did. this past week i felt like i was the devil. like i pulled the biggest sin because i wasn’t patient enough. i wasn’t kind enough. i wasn’t lenient with my own boundaries—for family— enough.

i thought keeping my space and staying no contact would be a temporary fix until i could get to somewhere more permanent. but i carried those words and wore them like they were my own self inflicted wounds. and they are not. i love my family so much. i hate that we are beyond repair. i hate that i let myself endure their mistreatment for over fifteen years. i hate that i tried to reshape myself into different forms of patience and strength when really i am just soft. i am tired; i am not angry nor vengeful; i am just nicole. more than anything i want to sit home for a week or two and just write for a while. i want to eat good food, sip a sweet drink, and sleep without feeling burdened by things that were pointed at me like weapons since i was so young.

i really….thought shit like that are just passing comments. perhaps to those who are more mentally tough. but i am just soft. i don’t want anyone to get hurt. none of this is my fault, and none of their misfortunes have ever been because of me. for god’s sake neither of them have ever supported me and i’m here making an honest living building life in a space away from all the energy that’s tried to drain me. i say and acknowledge that now with a thought process that isn’t as shaky as it was a few days ago.

idk things are changing, life is changing, and i am trying my best to grow stronger instead of become more and more drained. i want to apologize for now writing here as much either and just focusing on comms. tldr my company changed policy and tho i completed training i wont get a client assigned until jan 2023 since others have been pushed up and are more prioritized. things are just rocky rn. i will be here to write and tell stories again. just please bear w me a little bit longer. i love u all. myelocin is a safe space; a cozy corner; a nook where we all can just nap and chat and remind each other that life is swell. i miss u all sm.

#nc.personal #to delete

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erodasfishtacos · 3 years

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could u please do like a harry x youtuber/influencer!reader and like lots of fluff🥺

Hi bubbie! Here you go :)))

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Language

Harry was panicking. His mum and sister were going to be here in less than two hours and he’s burnt the eggplant parmigiana he had worked tediously on.

He grabbed what he had left in his fridge - ground beef, shredded cheddar cheese, and a little bit of bacon.

It was the type of foods he usually strayed away from so sometimes when his shopper would bring this stuff home - he’d avoid it and admittedly sometimes it would go bad sitting in the fridge.

The singer pulls up YouTube onto his phone - hoping something would come up when he typed in the ingredients on the search bar.

He clicks on the first video by cookingwithnofucks. A chuckle at the name as an advertisement plays.

A cute, bubbly girl appears on screen in a beautiful modern kitchen. She has a shirt on that says ‘fuck the patriarchy and eat pizza’. A high ponytail and minimal makeup.

“Okay - today we’re making a cheeseburger casserole,” the girl chirps, “It’s a heart attack in a dish but it’s so fucking good.”

Harry finds himself smiling as he crinkles his nose - it sounds absolutely disgusting but he’s intrigued more by the girl on the screen.

“Shit, I forgot to introduce myself. Hiii, if you’re new - I’m Y/N and I do cooking shit. Subscribe to my channel and all that jazz,” she titters while cutting open her beef package.

Harry follows along step-by-step, shaking his head as she doesn’t describe the instructions nearly well enough and is generally all over the place.

It’s a fucking cooking channel and at one point the meat starts burning. She just laughs and says, “s’just a little crispy!”

The casserole turns out looking even better than Y/N’s to be honest. It’s done in just the right amount of time for him to shower before his family arrives.

He makes sure to subscribe to her channel - eyebrows raising when he sees that she has 16 million subscribers.

Harry wanted to spend longer, looking at her social media but there was a fixed time so he locked his phone and went to get ready.

Anne - always the sweetheart just tells Harry that the casserole is delicious even as a bit of grease runs down her fork from the fatty meats.

Gemma wasn’t as kind, grimacing at the casserole and remarking, “You truly are turning into an American, huh?”

Laying in bed that night, Harry swipes back onto YouTube. Going back to the page he just subscribed to - under a pseudonym. He clicks on another video.

“Uh, okay. So I’m cooking...fuck, it’s called unicorn bark. It looks like a magical animal puke but it looks delicious so we’re going to try it.”

Harry realizes he’s been watching this girl cook for nearly an hour. Different videos from desserts to dinners.

She curses like a sailor, fucks up almost every recipe, and makes a mess everywhere. But she’s smiling and talkative which makes him quite memorized by her.

“I hate editing,” Y/N groans, letting her head fall dramatically against the desktop. Her best friend and dog looked at her oddly.

“I keep saying you need to hire someone, you stubborn bitch,” Laney retorts, clicking through her Instagram feed.

“Fuck off,” she tells her friend with no real heat. The video was almost fully edited - how to make spicy as fuck jalapeño poppers.

There is a calm silence for a while until Laney gasps, “Holy shit.”

“What is it?” Y/N asks, not really caring as she clicks her mouse to trim a segment.

“Harry fucking Styles just followed you on Instagram and Twitter!” Laney shouts, her dog - Rufus popping his head up in confusion.

Y/N looks at her friend to see if she’s really serious and sees no signs of deception. “Oh my god,” Y/N replies. She loved Harry Styles in One Direction and as a solo artist - a fangirl if you will.

Y/N was a well-known influencer and has run in the circles of many celebrities. She’s even met Liam Payne but she’s never been able to bump into Harry.

Her alerts tell her it to be true, she swallows as she looks back up at Laney, “He dm’ed me.”

“Open it! What did he say?” She squeals, squeezing herself on the chair next to her, peering over her shoulder at the phone.

Y/N is a bit nervous, trying not to have a mini aneurysm as she opens the message thread.

HarryStyles: Hello. Just wanted to let you know that your cheeseburger casserole recipe saved my ass last night. Cheers x

“He’s totally coming onto you,” Her friend states instantly, bouncing excitedly - she also had a bit of a crush on the singer.

It takes the two of them a minute to cool their shit before Y/N manages a reply.

Y/N/LN: Well I guess it’s only fair. Your songs have made a few of my nights much better. I’m a bit of a slut for Fine Line.

Harry laughs behind his screen at the cheeky reply he gets back. He’s usually never this forward - especially on social media where he likes to fly under the radar.

HarryStyles: Well if you fancy my music that much, I totally love for you to come to a show. I’m performing in New York City in two weeks.

“This has to be a joke, right?” Y/N sputters to her friend, eyes wide at the invite to a concert she already had tickets to.

Y/N/LN: I’m not going to lie, I already have tickets to the show. However, I don’t have any backstage passes to meet the man of the hour. Do you know someone who can hook me up?

It does wonders for Harry’s narcissism to know that she already had tickets for his concert. Was he really going to do this? He hasn’t met up with some like this since his One Direction days.

He had to remind himself - she may just be friendly and take this as a totally casual interaction. Which would be normal, Harry really shouldn’t be so infatuated with someone he’s watched cook on social media.

HarryStyles: I think I can arrange that. Shoot me your number? I’ll have them sent digitally to you with instructions on how to get backstage.

Y/N is a bit dumbfounded at how fast they agreed to meet up. A harmless backstage tour - he could just be a fan of hers and totally not interested, right?

Over the next few weeks, they never really stop texting. Harry sends her pictures of the recipes he copies off her channel - that usually always look better than the original. He sends her clips of him goofing around during tour rehearsal. FaceTimes her when he’s finally home for the night.

She sends him videos of her watching Harry Styles Best Moment Part Five. A few photos she snaps throughout the city of him on billboards and buildings, in Times Square. YN facetimes him when she’s frustrated with filming or watched a sad movie.

It didn’t make sense to either of them how seamlessly they’d clicked - especially without meeting. They were a perfect balance for each other. Harry - laidback, organized, level-headed. Y/N - eccentric, all over the place, adventurous.

Jeff had told him that he’s been gaining media attention from his social media interactions with Y/N. They like each other’s photos, begin following each other’s friends, and comment goofy things on their posts.

“Listen, I have a great idea,” Y/N begins - which Harry learned is never good. “You should film a video with me sometime.”

Y/N knew she was going out on a limb and instantly regretted the questions she’d been building the courage to ask for days when it’s quiet on his end. There’s static for a moment and Y/N needs to fill the silence.

“It was - I was just, uh, I know you’re probably too busy. I was -“ She stutters, embarrassment flooding her.

Harry cuts her off, “I’d love to.”

“Yo-you would?” She asks timidly. Was she really going to have Harry Styles in her apartment? If so, should she take down her poster?

He laughs sweetly, “Why do you sound so surprised? I can’t wait to come to New York, love.”

Y/N giggles, “Not the fact that you’re performing in front of a sold out crowd at MSG? I don’t think seeing me will top that.”

“I’ve been looking forward to meetin’ you in person since I came across your channel. You so lovely,” Harry replies, his voice a little softer but more serious.

“I’m nervous,” Y/N admits, picking at a thread in her jeans.

“Me too,” Harry murmurs, despite not wanting to admit it - he wanted her to know this was new territory for both of them. He didn’t want her to think that this was something that he did often. But a little too prideful to admit it’s the first time he’s ever done something quite like this.

“What if you don’t like me?” Y/N whispers, she...well she didn’t compare to the models he’s been seen with before. She’s regretfully fell into the rabbit hole of looking up his past flings and relationships.

Harry barks out a disbelieving laugh, “You can’t be serious, darling. I’ve been gone for you since I saw you burn that ground beef.”

Harry was having a bad day - scratch that. An awful one. He tried to go get coffee at eight in the morning and got bombarded by fans, he left the shop without even ordering. They followed him back to his car and it took him fifteen minutes to pull out.

His favorite Mickey Mouse Gucci suitcase he was bringing along on tour had busted. The zipper unraveling and the trim falling off as a result. It was a one-of-a-kind.

Then he’d been stuck on a Skype meeting about tour merchandise with a group of business partners for the last three hours - all he wanted was a fucking nap.

When Y/N’s contact vibrated across his screen, he’s itching to answer but declines as he needs to give these people his attention.

When she calls again, Harry feels a prickle of annoyance. It’s not even at her - to be quite honest. It’s just the shitty day and everything’s piling up.

He always got like this before he kicked off a tour - stress level maxed out and his ability to handle minor incidents nearly shot.

I’m busy

Okay! Sorry, just have a super exciting surprise for you, bub!

I really do not feeling like talking. I’d rather be left alone.

Oh, alright. Hope everything’s okay! Do you still want to facetime later?

Harry leaves her on read because he doesn’t want to slip up and take out his frustration on her. He’d been known to do that and he didn’t want her to think he was anything but besotted with her.

Y/N feels a little hesitant as she begins the uploading process to her channel. The red loading bar told her it’d be twenty-minutes before it’s going to be posted to her 16 million subscribers - one of them being Harry himself.

Twenty-minutes for her to back out and cancel the upload. She starts having doubts about it when Harry never replies to her text which is unlike him.

She takes Rufus out to avoid staring at the loading screen with unnecessary anxiety and uneasiness.

Harry is just getting home from a business dinner with the touring company’s management team. The tension and anxiety from today piling up on his shoulders and he just wants to call Y/N and crash in bed.

He tosses his keys in the little bowl in the entry and kicks off his dingy white vans to the side. His phone dings with an alert from Gemma.

You two are the literal cutest ever. It’s quite gross.

Harry slides onto a stool in his kitchen, confused by the text message before she’s sending the link to him.

Fine Line Inspired Cupcakes!

Harry isn’t quite sure why his heart starts pounding furiously in his chest. A sinking feeling in his stomach when he realizes that this was probably the surprise she was excited about.

He clicks on the thumbnail.

“Hiiii, it’s Y/N. Okay, well today we are going to bake some Fine Line inspired cupcakes. And if you haven’t listened to the album - get your ass out from rock you’re living under and stream it on Spotify!”

She has her hair down in long, waves and a loose cropped shirt that says TPWK in rainbow embroidery.

Harrys mouth is dry and he can’t take his fucking eyes away from the screen.

“Soo, I was thinking the first batch would be cherry flavored? ‘Cause he has a song titled ‘Cherry’. Let’s start there. First - I need to find my measuring cups.”

In true Y/N fashion, she scours her kitchen - cussing and yanking stuff out of her neatly organized cabinets before huffing and storming off to the side.

She comes back into view, a little frazzled but smiling when she holds up the ring of plastic measuring spoons, visible bite marks notched into the material.

“My asshole of a dog had a little snack,” Y/N shows the camera before shrugging, “Let’s get this shit started. Okay, you’re going to need one cup of sugar - no wait, two? I can’t read my fucking handwriting.”

Harry’s absolutely enamored by this scatter-brained, giggly girl who manages to produce cute blue and pink cupcakes that very vaguely resembled his album cover. His heart felt a million times too big for his chest.

He was enraptured for the entirety of the thirty minute video without taking his eyes away once.

To be honest, he hadn’t felt this way since his last relationship which was over a year ago at this point.

It’s not even a thought as he’s requesting a FaceTime with Y/N.

She answers after a few rings. She has a green face mask painted on her nose, chin, and forehead with gold eye masks under each eye. She is so fucking ridiculous it’s not even funny.

What is even more ridiculous is how gone Harry is realizing he is for her. She was quirky, unfiltered, carefree. If he was honest - he hadn’t met a girl like that in a very long time - especially a well-known influencer.

“Hi! How was your day, grumpy?” Y/N asks brightly, making a goofy face as the mask begins to tighten and crack on her skin. Not holding the earlier conversation against him and deciding to just move forward. She understood how stressful it can be.

“M’sorry. I was a bit grumpy,” He admits, “I loved your new video, darling. Did you make those just f’me?”

He can tell she’d be blushing if her face wasn’t covered, a bit bashful as she mutters, “You already know I did it for you.”

“You’re too sweet to me, only six days until we meet,” Harry replies, voice taking on a slow, lazy drawl.

“Six days,” Y/N repeats, eyes crinkling as she smiles with excitement.

“Is this outfit too much?” Y/N panics. Even though there’s literally nothing she can do about it - they’re already walking towards the backstage entrance of the massive arena. It’s still about two hours until the show starts but Harry requested her to come earlier.

Laney sighs, “For the millionth time, you look fucking sexy and Harry’s going to want to rail you right when he sees you.”

Y/N shoves her lightly with a faux annoyance as they meet up with a burly man who’s blocking the entrance to the backstage hallway and rooms.

She gives him their names and pulls up the passes on her phone before he’s nodding with any expression and letting them pass.

They’re not quite sure where to go from here so they begin to wander down the long hallway toward what looks to be the main area that people are milling about.

Y/N is nearly on the ground when someone rounds the corner without looking and walks right into her. Both of them let out huffs of air as they collide and attempt to stabilize themselves.

But there are large hands grasping her arms and holding her steady. In typical Y/N fashion she’s already cursing, “fuckin like a brick wall, look out next time.”

Then she’s looking up to Harry staring back down at her with an amused expression. He doesn’t let go of her and instead tugs her against his bare chest. He’s warm and a bit sweaty - like he’d just worked out. He was only in a pair of thin, running shorts, nike tennis shoes, and a little clip holding his hair off of his face.

Y/N can’t help but wrap her arms around his waist, returning the embrace and amazed by how right it feels to be in his arms. Her face tucks right against his collarbone and it’s like they’d known each other for years.

Pictures and videos don’t do this man justice. He’s gorgeous - sharp edges and dark inked skin. Tall and muscular but dimples that are carved in his cheeks.

“Nice to meet you, m’Harry,” Harry rumbles, removing one hand from Y/N’s shoulder to reach out his hand to her friend.

Laney shakes his hand before asking, “Laney. I’ll leave you two lovebirds be. Where’s the food?”

Harry chuckles against Y/N’s wavy hair, “Down the hall to the left.”

Laney’s trailing off without another glance, she was very food motivated despite her skinny frame. Also not wanting to intrude of the very personal first moments of their meeting.

The popstar pulls back to look down at the girl he’s fallen for in mere weeks. She’s as beautiful as he thought she'd be - if not more. He can’t help himself, “Would it be too forward to kiss you?”

Y/N smiles widely, running a hand along his jawline, “I’ve wanted you to kiss me since you stayed up on FaceTime with me until two in the morning as I cried after watching The Notebook - despite me seeing it a million times.”

Harry ducks forward to press his lips softly to her, large hands come to cup the side of her face as they connect. He’s so gentle as he moves his mouth against hers. In true Y/N fashion, she’s bold and has no hesitation slipping her tongue into his mouth.

He’s so fucking in love with her. It doesn’t make much sense - it’s definitely not logical but he’s realizing that’s okay.

“Oii, get a room!” Someone shouts from down the hallway teasingly.

Harry flips them the middle finger and pulls back, pink lips swollen and puffy, dimples on full display, “Let me take you out to dinner after the show, darling.”

“You going to wine and dine me, Styles?” Y/N giggles, unable to contain the pleasant warmness he’s spreading through her body.

“Mmm, have t’make sure you’ll want to keep me,” Harry murmurs happily against her lips once again, pressing kiss after kiss to her to make sure she’s real, “Definitely want to keep you.”

Y/N bites teasingly at his bottom lip, hand planted on the soft but firm skin of his stomach, “You’re never getting rid of me, hope you know that.”

“Was hoping you’d say that, now let me introduce you to my band.”

-- ---- ---- -- 1 year later - -- --- --- --

“Hi bitches! Today is a super special day. We have the one, the only Harry Styles filming with us. I know that’s not really that special since he’s on here all the time with me. But we’re celebrating our one year anniversary!” Y/N smiles, bumping hips with Harry who stands dutifully next to her.

Anyone viewing can see the absolute heart-eyes and adoration he has for the girl standing next to him. He’s still as lovestruck and gone for her as he was the first time they met. Harry’s fans were thrilled - for the first time in years, he’d opened up again.

They weren’t very public on social media beside’s tagging each other in memes and posting the occasional picture. Y/N was constantly uploading cooking videos from wherever in the world she was with Harry on his tour, she’d also begin making vlogs about different foods she’s been experiencing.

---

“Okay, so here in Peru - they’re known to have this really fucking spicy beef with noddles. So obviously, I’m going to make Harry try it first,” Y/N laughs as she props the camera up on the side of the table on a napkin holder.

Harry - who has a concert in a few hours - frowns at the steaming dish in front of him, “Darling, I don’t want to try it first. It’s going to burn my mouth. Not gonna be able to sing.”

“You’re sucha baby sometimes,” Y/N rolls her eyes, slurping up the noodles with her fork while making a silly face at her boyfriend. She pulls back, straight-faced, “It’s not hot at all. Tastes amazing, though.”

Harry takes that as an initiative to shovel a spoonful into his mouth. It only takes half a moment until his taste buds erupt in fiery flames from the spices, “You bloody little brat, y’tricked me! It’s so fuckin’ hot!”

Y/N smiles widely, laughing much too loudly in the restaurant when Harry chugs the glass of water next to the plate while glaring at his love. “I’m sorry, s’just to easy with you, lovie,” She replies, leaning over the table to press a kiss to his lips.

He’s a sucker for her and kisses her right back despite his mouth being an inferno. His heart was on fire for her and that burned much more intensely.

---

“No, love. The instructions say baking soda, not baking powder. They’re not the same thing,” Harry sighs, attempting to read her scribbled, sloppy handwriting. She’d already spilled milk on half of the paper.

“S’interchangeable, right?” Y/N hums, cracking an egg into the bowl and Harry automatically knows to look to fish out the eggshells that’d she’d let slip in because she sucks at cracking eggs but always wants to do it.

Harry reaches over her, grabbing the vanilla extract and a teaspoon, “It’s not, baby. Lemme do this real quick.”

“Will you make me a grilled cheese after this?” She asks, nuzzling into his side and wrapping her arms around his waist as he finishes adding the wet ingredients to their bowl. Harry stopped questioning her thought process a long time ago.

Harry swipes his finger into the mixture of icing off to the side and rubs it right onto her nose, cackling at her pout and squeaking when she pinches at the fleshy skin of his hips. She in turn dips her finger into the sugary cream and pops it right into her mouth.

Harry eyes darken, watching her lips purse as she sucks off the icing. It was a dirty move on Y/N’s part and she knows it. It has her boyfriend dragging an icing-covered thumb along her collarbone before leaning down to slowly lick up the sugary trail with his tongue.

When Y/N slides her fingers into his hair and lets out a pretty moan, Harry’s standing back up, trailing over to the tripod and saying into the camera, “We’ll be back after a little commercial break,” and is then turning off the record button.

It takes little to no time for Harry to have Y/N’s bum on the countertop, mouth on her neck, and hand in-between her thighs.

And when they finally posted a very edited final cut of the video - well there may be a couple of fans who notice the how flushed Y/N is halfway through and a lovely purple mark on Harry’s neck that wasn’t there in the beginning of the video.

#harry styles #harry styles writing #harry styles fanfic #harry styles writing request #harry styles fluff #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fic rec #harry styles prompt #harry styles x influencer y/n #harry styles smut #harry styles drabble

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dictacontrion · 7 years

Note

Hi! I hope you don't mind this ask; it's a little awkward and I'd understand if you didn't answer it. But I was wondering if your popularity was something you had to learn to deal with as you became more well known within the fandom and, if so, how you did that? More specifically, did/do you ever find yourself struggling as someone people look up to in the fandom, and the sort of implicit responsibility toward others that can be perceived to come with it? 1 of 2 (sorry!)

2/2 I know it seems horribly ungrateful, but I’m just starting to become better known and I’m beginning feel overwhelmed at times. My readers/followers are the loveliest people ever, but the expectation I feel–to read and rec, to answer asks, to socialize–just seems like a lot sometimes. I would never want to hurt anyone by ignoring them but is there any way to strike a balance? I’m sorry, I know even asking puts you in the same position; no worries if you decide not to answer, really.

That’s a really good question, anon, and a bit tricky to answer, but I hopesome of this will be helpful.

Yeah, I do sometimes find it stressful and exhausting, and do find that theexpectations can be difficult. I don’t think that’s ungrateful – you sound verygrateful! – though I completely know what you’re talking about and understand andhave had (and have felt bad about) that feeling. It is hard to be in a positionwhere lots of people come at you with requests and expectations, and where whatyou say might be scrutinized, and it can get overwhelming even when all of thepeople you’re talking to are entirely wonderful.

The most helpful thing for me has been thinking about what it means to be(to use your language; I find it surreal and sort of unbelievable to think ofmyself in these terms) a role model.

Thing is, it feels to me as though this corner of fandom has a veryspecific, and pretty narrow, ethos around what it means to be good:friendliness, responsiveness, accessibility, enthusiasm, positivity,easygoingness/willingness to go with the flow, and maintaining a happy-go-luckyvibe.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, anon, but that’s not really how I do. Tryingto do that would be exhausting forme. I’d probably have double the followers and be blocked by half as manypeople if I did, but I would be tired and stressed and I would spend a lot oftime doing types of fan labor I don’t find fulfilling and am not interested indoing and I would hate being here. And I don’t think I’d have made the friendsI’ve made, because they wouldn’t have an honest sense of who I am and how Ithink, and I wouldn’t be able to (or, tbh, want to) sustain friendships that arebased on performing a persona that wouldn’t really be me.

I also don’t think that’s a really super unequivocally awesome way to be? Ifyou value going along and getting along and being positive above all else, youcan end up getting mired in some pretty fucked up shit – supporting ideas youmight not really believe if you stopped to think critically, perpetuatingnarratives and ideas that you might not actually like because they’re what’spopular, becoming a person who you don’t really want to be in order to maintainthat approval, all that jazz.

There’s a point at which trying to be, or trying to seem to be, that fandomideal of a nice, friendly, popular blogger can get destructive. To you, becauseit’s exhausting and doesn’t leave room to vent and breathe and be and get whatyou want out of fandom. And to everyone else, because it perpetuates animpossible standard and can put the kibosh on important community reflection.

So when it comes to thinking about the kind of behavior I’d want to model,and the behavior it’s been meaningful and helpful to me to see other peoplemodel, it’s sometimes pretty antithetical to that “everyone’s happy andeverything’s great and we all get along all the time” vibe and that expectationthat you’ll always read and rec and socialize and be enthusiastic about andinto and prioritizing fan activities.

Things I’d rather model, and that it’s been really important for me to seeother people model: having boundaries; asking critical questions, being willingto have and able to respectfully engage difficult conversations; being openabout the negative as well as the positive parts of different experiences;taking time away when tumblr gets overwhelming; prioritizing happiness overexpectations. Being honest, and not just about the things other people want tosee and hear.

I don’t think I’m the only person who needs to see that, or who finds itreassuring to know that other people are imperfect too. Or that other peoplethink critically about our collective project in addition to loving it. Or thatother people have boundaries and say no to things. Or that – important! –youcan not be super friendly and bubblyall the time and still have friends and still be a valuable and cared-for partof a community.

To be clear for purposes of tumblr, I don’t mean to say that people shouldbe cruel or unkind or disrespectful. That’s not okay.

But it is not cruel or unkind to have boundaries and take time for yourself. It is okay to say no torequests. It is okay to take timeaway. It is okay to let asks sit inyour inbox or let messages go unanswered when you don’t have the time orbandwidth. It is possible that that will hurt other people’s feelings, and Idon’t have a good solution for that – that’s just hard, and it sucks, and itfeels shitty, especially when, as you say, so many followers and readers arewonderful and, given the time and energy, I’d love to give every one of them myfull focus all the time. But it’s also a fact of human existence that we can’tbe everything to everyone and that sometimes people’s feelings get incidentallyhurt, and ultimately it is our own responsibility to take care of ourselves andtheir responsibility to take care of themselves and make sure that theirwell-being doesn’t rest on a blogger’s availability/responsiveness. If it getsto a point where you have to choose between caring for other people and caringfor yourself, it is okay to choose yourself. It is important to choose yourself.

I know that’s not always easy. A lot of us have been taught that that isunkind and not okay to have boundaries, that our job (especially, for many ofus, as women) is to care for others and put their needs before our own and thatthat’s what it means to be Good. But reader? That’s bullshit. There are so manyother things that are more important – that are more good – than being superfriendly and available to everyone who wants your time and energy. And imo, wedo ourselves and each other a service by refusing to implicitly support theidea that trying to be everyone’s combination mom/sister/bestie/cheerleader isa necessary precondition of being a good person or a popular person or a likedperson.

As to how – one step at a time. By thinking about how you want to spend yourtime and constructing your days to make that happen. By practicing saying no inlittle increments and building up. By following other people who take charge oftheir fandom experience so that it’s something you see and so you’re remindedit’s okay. If it helps, you can put something in your bio saying that you’llget to things when you can but it might be a while or everyone but you still lovehearing from people, or to write a post saying that you’re going to be reccingless so you don’t burn out. People will adjust. It will be okay. If you’rehappier, it will be more than okay.

tl;dr: when it comes to being a role model or a visible figure or whatever,doing it honestly – being unapologetic about who you are and whatyou need and like and want – is powerful, and healthy, and important, and good.Good for you, and good for other people to see. If trying to meet those expectations is making you unhappy, stop tryingto meet those expectations. Do tumblr in ways that feels good for you. It willmake your experience better, and help other people, in ways you can’t even knowuntil you try it.

#i have a lot of feelings about this #and feel like maybe this was not the advice you were expecting but idk i think it's important to say #if you want to talk more you're welcome to msg off anon #(though - on theme - i'm way behind atm and it might take me a minute to get back to you!)#esp as i'm now trying to catch up on several days of asks (also on theme!)#i do get to them - and i do love them and appreciate them - just also need to sleep and hang with friends and be balanced #bc happiness #also not burning out #i think it's worth pointing out that there were SO MANY drarry reccers who burnt out - and that's what happens if tumblr becomes an overwhel #also didn't want to potentially implicate people in the post #but do want to appreciate some of the folks who have made this easier for me #a lot of whom are rl people but also #serra/mxlfoydraco who is so good at being open to the good things while being gracefully firm about the others #firethesound and eidheann's tags about the salt mines and general presence for reminding me it's okay to be salty #sheena/conscious--ramblings who is so good at being very kind to those who are kind and not entertaining those who aren't #a bunch of other 1d bloggers for being willing to draw boundaries about what they will and won't talk about #and for being funny in their exasperation #and honestly a bunch of other people who i'm sure i'm forgetting i'm sorry!!#but basically every time i see someone reacting to something in a way that sounds really genuine i feel some relief and gratitude #def including happy and positive reactions!!!! which can be v genuine!!!#just all the others too #seeing people accept awho they are always makes it easier to do the same #and that is a gift we can give each other #and one that's a lot more important imo than living into a narrow set of expectations #so anyway #yeah #dcsays #yay asks!

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lupinsx · 4 years

Text

First Impressions

masterlist

Request: Hiii, would you write a Draco x reader where she's an american transferred student, and she has visible tattoos (like neck or legs) and is kinda nerdy but sexy and confident, and Draco just loses it bc it's so new and he doesn't know what the hell to do and how to act?? thank youuuu :)

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Gryffindor!Reader

Summary: When the new girl Y/N arrives at Hogwarts, Draco finds it hard to nail the first or second impression. Perhaps another do-over is all he needs.

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: Brief kissing scene, that's all.

a/n — Hello lovely readers! My inbox is open for requests, and you can msg me if you want to be part of a tag list I'll be making. I hope you enjoy this one-shot!

——————————

"Gryffindor!"

You raised your eyebrow for a moment, unable to grasp the importance of such a decision. You were sitting in front of the entire school, legs crossed and arms resting gracefully on the chair handles. Your position showed off the various minimalistic tattoos scattered across your legs and arms, gaining multiple curious glances from the students.

Gryffindor? you thought, Why that?

Nevertheless, you were met with a roaring cheer from the red and gold table clad with an extroverted aura. You stepped off your chair and strode towards them, taking your seat near the middle.

Upon your arrival, a particular red-headed boy sitting on your right spoke first, in a manner far too blunt than you are used to.

"You know, something tells me you're too pretty to be a first-year," the boy spoke, chin on his palm as he faced you. You rolled your eyes playfully at the cheesy tone of his words.

"You're right, I'm a fifth year. I just transferred from Ilvermorny."

"Ilvermorny! So you're an American, huh?" he said with a wide grin before sticking out his hand to shake. "My name is George. George Weasley. Your tattoos look wicked."

Shaking it back, you replied with a jokingly sarcastic tone. "Thank you. And I'm Bond. James Bond."

There was a brief moment of silence on his part where he just stared in confusion before he suddenly burst into juvenile chuckles. The sound tugged on the corners of your lips.

"I'm kidding, it's Y/N L/N," you finally admitted with a small smile. After your introductions, a boy appearing nearly identical popped up from beside him, extending his arm over George's chest.

"I'm Fred Weasley. Welcome to Hogwarts!" he exclaimed, patting your back harshly then going back to his food. You chuckled at their playful nature before you went back to your own plate.

After eating for quite some time and enjoying conversations with your new peers, you decided to take a quick break from the crowd. Assuring the prefects you'll find your way to the common room, you left the Great Hall to explore the vast castle.

Walking down the empty corridor, you finally had time to be in your own head. You thought about how different the houses are in Hogwarts compared to your old school.

"What is Gryffindor even for?" you spoke to yourself with a slight chuckle. However, you were quick to realize you weren't alone in the hall when a voice behind you replies.

"I believe it's for the dimwitted—correct me if I'm wrong."

Hastily turning on your heel, you were met with the sight of a tall, platinum-haired boy in a dark green detailed robe. He wore a condescending smirk on his face as he approached you with long strides, not before taking a quick glance at your lower leg which he thought to be unnoticed.

You smirked in response, crossing your arms over your chest. You could tell he was in Slytherin. Though you didn't know much about what the houses stand for, you made sure to at least learn their names and colours.

"Really? I've been told it was the Slytherins who were rather dull themselves," you said, mimicking a confused expression. You then pointed to the crest on his robes with a look of interest. "Oh, what an interesting symbol! What house is that?"

The blond boy seemed visibly displeased by your jibe. He knew you were well aware of his Slytherin status by the taunting grin widening on your lips.

As he opened his mouth to retort, you immediately cut him off with a mocking pat on his shoulder. Leaning closer, just enough to gain a flustered expression from the boy, you said, "Listen, I'd love to stay and chat, but I need to head to the common room before somebody thinks I'm missing. See you later?"

"Psh, how about not later," he faltered, earning a bemused glance from you.

Was that supposed to be an insult?

With a small laugh, you turned on your feet and walked down the hallway, heading wherever your eyes take you in hopes of finding the common room.

Though he went from being snobbish to odd within mere minutes, you found the blond boy to be very interesting, and more so peculiar. Perhaps we'll meet again.

"Really Draco? How about not later?" Draco groaned to himself, tugging on his roots in frustration.

He was now sitting on his bed, the morning after the "incident." The thought of the interaction left him with such a terrible sense of embarrassment, he wanted to obliviate himself immediately.

Laying down on his back, he sighed, staring up at the ceiling with his arms crossed beneath his head. Draco hated to admit it, but he found you very attractive. The sheer confidence radiating with every movement you take, word you utter, and look you give—it was damn near intoxicating.

How could he possibly mess up the first impression that badly?

Draco turned to lay on his stomach. With his head buried deep into his pillow, he let out a frustrated yell.

"Don't worry Draco, I'll probably never speak to her again," he tried to reassure himself. "And if I do, it'll be long forgotten."

Yeah, it'll be long forgotten.

With those words in mind, Draco got up from his bed in preparation for the day ahead. Besides, it was the first day of classes, and he was excited to see his schedule for the year.

After a seemingly endless breakfast, he finally was able to satisfy that curiosity. Gripping the sheet of parchment impatiently, Draco was unamused with the first class on the list. History of Magic—infamous for being a total drag.

With a scowl painted on his expression, he made his way towards the classroom, promptly stopping in his tracks at the sight of a particular student sitting inside.

It's that Gryffindor girl!

Draco's eyes widened as he felt the blood rush to his cheeks. You haven't noticed his slight stare, so he immediately made a beeline to his seat, making sure not to glance up from it.

It was then when you realized his presence in the room and turned back to face him. A smirk spread across your lips before you directed your attention back to the teacher.

A mere smirk and Draco already found himself blushing like a schoolgirl.

Just as anyone would expect, the lesson had been terribly soporific. If it wasn't for the sight of you absorbing the information excitedly, jotting down comprehensive notes as you listen with a glimmer in your eyes, Draco would have definitely been asleep.

It was unnatural. Why were you this interested? He found himself somewhat nervous to ask, so he instead fell back on his usual defence mechanism—uncalled-for remarks.

"Nerd," he muttered to you in between coughs, a condescending grin widening on his lips. You rolled your eyes in response, continuing to put your supplies back into your bag.

It was the end of the lesson when Draco approached you, class nearly empty with Professor Binns absentmindedly marking essays at his desk. You were internally raving about the lesson on goblin rebellions he just delivered when the blond boy just interrupted your thoughts.

"I'm sorry, but since when was fascination seen as a bad thing?"

"It is when it's Binn's lecture causing it," he retorted with a mocking tone. "You truly are something different."

With a fake smile plastered on your face, you whipped your hair to the side and replied, "Thanks, I know. But if you want my attention, you're going to have to try a little harder."

Your remark brought another flustered expression onto Draco's face, reminding you of your first encounter with him. His eyes dilated, cheeks flushed with a rosy hue, and his lips parted and closed with an inability to respond. He then averted his gaze from your eyes, and instead opted to stare at the ground until he regains composure.

"I don't want your attention," Draco mumbled under his breath, barely coherent if it wasn't for the proximity of you two.

"Really? Then why did you wait behind as the rest of the class leaves just to start a conversation?"

"I- uh- I gotta go," he suddenly spluttered, striding towards the door before you could even respond. The sound of a light slam broke you out of your brief trance while watching his retreating figure. With a small shrug, you finished packing and left the classroom, ready to head to your next class.

Yep, very peculiar indeed.

~~~

The next week, you found yourself nearly settled into the unfamiliar setting. Without further assistance, you were able to navigate to your classrooms and get used to remembering odd passwords for the dormitory. Hogwarts was finally beginning to feel like a home, or at least, as close as Ilvermorny was to being one.

After a particularly tiresome day of classes, you refused to allow your evening to end on that note. Making sure the rest of your classmates were asleep, you quietly made your way out of the Gryffindor common room, ignoring how far beyond curfew it currently was.

You enjoyed the thrill. You loved having to tiptoe around the corridors, knowing at any second a teacher could pop up. The risk factor was exhilarating, and you craved that release amongst a day of being studious. You needed that release.

With light steps bouncing on each tap, you made your way towards the Great Hall, intending to exit the castle.

However, you were quick to realize that life had other plans.

Just before your fingers grazed the handle of the door, a tap on your shoulder sent electrical shocks through your veins, awaking every nerve in your body with a severe jolt. Whipping your head to the side, you were mildly relieved to see the familiar face of a peer rather than adult ready to admonish.

"Oh," you muttered with a light sigh, "it's just you."

"Just? I'm insulted," said Draco with a joking pout, dramatically clutching his heart. You rolled your eyes in response, preparing to walk away before you were stopped almost immediately.

Your eyes narrowed at his hand tightly enclosed around your wrist, but he didn't let go upon catching your gaze. Instead, with a light tug, he dragged you along the opposite hall, leaving you confused by the action.

"Uh, where are you taking me?"

You were met with silence in response as he strode in front of you, squeezing your wrist to make sure you couldn't yank your arm back. A loud groan emitted from your lips, very clearly expressing defiance as you continued to struggle in your efforts to break free. All plans to roam around the lake were ruined, much to your distaste.

However, curiosity overcame your annoyance when the two of you began climbing up a long staircase. You have yet to explore this area of the castle, leaving you filled with wonder at the seemingly endless amount of floors this takes you to. I'll have to come back here later on my own, you thought to yourself with excitement.

With one final step, Draco abruptly stopped in his tracks, causing you to bump into his back and break your trance. As a mild blush painted your cheeks upon the contact, you followed him into the dark hallway, quickly reaching a wide doorway.

"I wanted to show you something," Draco said in an airy tone, nearly whispering amidst the quiet corridor. Then, without missing a beat, he swung the door open, revealing a spacious room.

It was mesmerizing, to put it lightly. Telescopes lined the corners of the room, which seemingly had no roof—although you were sure it was just enchanted to appear so. Looking up, you were met with the sight of the night sky, filled with scattered stars shining in their full glory. You couldn't hold back the smile widening on your face.

While you found yourself distracted, taking in the beauty of the room, Draco was held in an equal trance. He kept his gaze on your awestruck countenance, a grin threatening to tug on his lips as your eyes lit up in fascination.

"The view is beautiful," you mumbled under your breath, eyes fixed on the celestial bodies visible through the ceiling. Without redirecting his stare, he responded.

"Yeah, I agree."

It was then when you looked back at Draco, offering a gentle smile as you sit on the floor. He then followed, placing himself next to you before laying down on his back.

"So, why'd you bring me here?"

With a light shrug, Draco spoke, gaze fixed on the sky. "We never had a proper introduction. Or a good first impression either."

"Okay then, let's just restart," you started, a small giggle escaping your lips. "I'm Y/N L/N, it's nice to meet you."

Sticking out your hand for him to shake, he sat up, hesitantly shaking it back before keeping his palm lingering in your grasp. He waited a moment before completely pulling away.

"Draco Malfoy. It's nice to meet you too, I guess."

Following the long overdue introductions, there was a comfortable silence sweeping over the air. A sort of quietness without tension or awkwardness; just them taking in the moment. Enjoying how beautiful the stars look, how bright the moon is, and how red their cheeks are. It's almost laughable how the two teenagers of such levels of boldness act like schoolgirls under each other’s presence.

Eventually, Draco broke the silence with a small murmur. "I really like your tattoos."

"Oh, uh, thank you," you replied, instinctively trailing your finger across your wrist. It was often something you covered back in Ilvermorny, knowing people would've had something to say about it. Being met with positive responses here in Hogwarts felt very unfamiliar to you.

"What does that one mean?" Upon asking the question, Draco reached for the words decorating your wrist, his hand briefly touching your fingers which laid near it. As you quickly retract it and attempt to fight back another blush, you smiled softly at the remembrance.

"Ad maiora," you spoke under your breath. "It means towards greater things. It's my motto for life."

Leaving his finger brushed over the spelling, he stared at you with a slight twinkle in his eyes. "That's admirable."

"Thank you."

"How about this tattoo?"

He moved his fingers to the smaller design laid on your collarbone. It was a delicate touch; only briefly felt as he skimmed the inked skin, yet enough to invoke a swarm of butterflies in your stomach.

"It looked nice, that's all," you said, recalling the moment you chose the flower design. "Not all of my tattoos have profound meanings."

Despite the lack of depth in this particular design, you still cherished it greatly. It was decided upon a spontaneous act when you wanted to do something brazen for once in your life. Though, the tattoo fails to convey the feelings prior to its creation; rather, its simplistic nature gives it a sweet and dainty feel.

"I like it. It looks nice on your skin," he complimented, keeping his hand on the crook of your neck as his thumb brushes over the flower.

The position can easily be interpreted differently out of context. You were both sitting upright, facing each other in close proximity. Draco had his hand on your neck, and both of you were staring into the other's eyes. All that was left to complete the atmosphere was a kiss. The mere connection of lips. And you both were thinking the same thing too.

"Y/N?" Draco murmured, lowering his gaze to your lips. "Would it be alright if I-"

Without missing a beat, you cut him off, leaning the extra distance to join your lips together.

It was surprising to him. He never expected you to agree, let alone understand beforehand and kiss him yourself. Meanwhile, you simply went in accordance with your awfully forward personality. Thinking before doing was not a very familiar process for you.

After getting over the initial shock, Draco settled into the kiss, his eyes closing as he moved closer to you. Everything about the moment seemed ethereal. The stars gleaming above your heads, creating a beautiful glow surrounding you two. The way his platinum hair felt as you ran your fingers through it, and how perfectly his hands fit on the curve of your waist and side of your neck. How your lips seemed to connect like puzzle pieces, almost as if it belonged there as you two shared this passionate feeling. You were reluctant to let go, and he didn't intend to either.

Until the sound of harsh rapping on the door forced you two apart.

"Hello? I heard kids in here," the raspy voice of Mr. Filch spoke. Draco immediately turned to you, putting a finger to his lips with a playful expression. You nodded and squeezed your mouth shut in an attempt to repress a chuckle.

After waiting a moment for the notorious caretaker to walk away, you and Draco finally released the laughter that was building inside. Your bodies shook with mirth at the recollection of the tense atmosphere present seconds ago, when detention seemed far too probable.

As the laughter died down, you looked at Draco with a wide grin. He has a smile on his face to match as he leaned in for one final peck, before pulling away with red-stained cheeks.

You sat there speechless, unable to respond with the thoughts running through your head. All you knew was that you loved this feeling, and wouldn't be entirely opposed if he asked again. Noticing your flustered expression, Draco brushed a strand of hair behind your ear as his trademark cocky smirk stretched across his face.

"How's that for a first impression?"

——————————

a/n — This took a while to make! I hope you all enjoyed it, it made me squeal so much while writing. Please like, comment, and reblog to show support! Thanks for reading 💞

#harry potter fanfiction #my prompts #writing #draco malfoy #draco malfoy imagines #draco fanfiction #draco malfoy one shot #draco malfoy x reader #draco one shot #draco x reader imagines #my imagines #harry potter one shot #draco malfoy fanfiction #draco x reader

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jeonjeonggukenergy · 4 years

Text

Anti-Hero

summary ~ in search of wine at a party that’s so not your scene, you run into jungkook, the weeb from your film class, and become determined to learn just how much he lives up to his big reputation.

pairing ~ jungkook x reader

genre ~ fluff, smut (coming in ch3!) - college!au

wordcount ~ 2.3k

warnings ~ pretty much n/a, mentions of drinking and light smut

a/n ~ v excited for these lil dorks! i thought about combining this with the upcoming chapter but it felt right on its own and i wanted to go ahead and post an update for yall haha. ch 3 will most definitely have some serious smut to look forward to 👀 thank yall for reading, i love and appreciate any form of support or feedback so so much, so feel free to msg me or send me an ask abt whatever you want! 🥰 hope u enjoy this chapter!!!

previous: chapter 1 ~ next: chapter 3 | chapter 4 (coming soon!)

~ read on ao3 ~

CHAPTER 2 ~ cowboy bebop & chill

You couldn't stop thinking about Jungkook. Every time you brought the enamel of your favorite mug to your lips, teeth knocking the rim as you exhaled to cool off your tea, it called back the click of his earrings in your mouth. Whenever you reached behind your ear to tuck away the hair you'd impulsively cropped to your chin this year, it hit the same spot you'd sucked into a bruise on his neck and you shivered. Even your slight headache thanks to the shitty vodka from the pregame reminded you of the wine you'd sought out from him in the first place and never fucking got to drink.

You found yourself reading over your responses to each other's discussion posts from your film class, trying to find any more justification for this sudden crush than the drunken flirtation that mortified you as soon as you remembered it sober. He did seem to like your directness...but you could easily ascribe that to his similarly loosened-up state. Scanning through your reflections on The Shawshank Redemption and Casablanca, you painstakingly overanalyzed every smiley face and "I loved that part too!" Could he have been into you at all before this? Or had he just eyed you for another quick fuck at a party? Shit, what if he hated you for working him up and then leaving? If he wanted to, you knew he would have easily found someone else to finish the night with. But what if he still held it against you? The image of him bitterly turning aside to find another girl in the crowd, with your hickey still fresh on his jaw, turned your stomach more than you wanted to admit.

Shaking your head with a grounding exhale, you reminded yourself that whoever else he did or didn't hook up with was none of your business. Plus, he seemed like a genuinely nice guy and probably didn't hate you in the first place. Wow, the bar really was so fucking low. Maybe that was part of the reason you were never that bold with boys. Every classmate you'd fallen for so far at college had remained innocently unaware of your feelings, likely because you never worked up the courage to clearly express them. You hadn't even been trying this time, though—this semester had been so busy you'd barely had time for your friends, much less crushes. And now your one blowoff class had become your biggest distraction.

Jungkook, a communications & media major, couldn't afford to lose as much focus in this class as you. Normally near front-and-center, he sat all the way in the corner of the last row, wary of imaginary stares burning through the hopefully-opaque-enough curtain of his hair. Even the risk of zoning out staring at the back of your head stressed him out less than the thought of you doing the same to him.

You walked into class through the back right entrance today so you'd pass Jungkook in the front row, though you could have gone straight to your usual left-side seat from the main door. Knowing you'd never summon the courage to talk to him, you still couldn't help wanting to see his face. You didn't know just what you were looking for—some kind of confirmation or dismissal that would let you just move on with your dry-ass life—but any reason to catch a glimpse of Jungkook was a good one. Today, though, he sat far closer to the entrance than you'd expected, and his proximity stopped you in your tracks a few feet behind him. Eyes dragging down the sculpted form under his soft black sweatsuit, your stare traced the veins in his forearms to reach the hands in his lap. Catching a half-page cartoon ass in your view of the manga he gazed at intently, a snort-laugh escaped you, the sound setting him on high alert. He snapped the book shut, spinning around with eyes wide and still-long hair an understandable mess for a Monday.

"I'm so—"

"I'm so sorry!"

You both shoved out the words at the same time.

A pause swelled between you, eye contact maintained as your mouths fluttered open and shut like fish. Even awkward and off-guard like this, he was just so damn pretty. It felt unreasonable for him to seem as flustered around you as you were around him. Finally, you spoke again, solely to force the conversation forward and put you both out of your misery.

"W-what do you have to be sorry for? I'm the one who, like—ugh, I was drunk, I'm so sorry, I never would have been so, yknow, if I was sober, like that's not me I promise, I really didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or—"

"No-no-no-no-no!" Jungkook cut you off, dismissing your barely intelligible apology. Before you could cut him off in return and continue, he held up both hands between you, his eyebrows knit together in a pleading expression. "Are you kidding me? Seriously, I feel so bad, I was kind of drunk too, I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable! Please, you have nothing to worry about, it was, uh...I was...good...if...you were." He grew shyer as he continued, drifting off as a hand reached back to rub his neck. A light laugh. "You did make me have to keep my hair long for another few days, though. It's gotten so annoying to take care of, I was planning on cutting it right after the costume."

This admission perked up all your earlier curiosities about him, and a cautious smile spread over your face as Jungkook unconsciously reminded you that he was, in fact, a total dork, rather than the fuckboy you'd irrationally feared him to be.

"Wait, hold up," you snorted again. Gently. "You're telling me you grew out your hair for three, maybe four, months...for a Cowboy Bebop costume?"

"Hey, it was free and way less lame than a wig," he defended himself. Crossing his arms over his chest, he fidgeted uncomfortably, face blushing into a grin as you continued to giggle at him.

"You are such a fucking weeb," you accused lightheartedly.

Jungkook furrowed his brows back together, an anxious hand grazing the spot where you'd marked him again. "Well, you recognized my Spike costume, at least," he pouted. "You're not all innocent."

"I watched one episode with my friend, and it was dubbed," you downplayed. "Isn't watching dubs instead of subs a crime for real anime fans?"

"Actually," his eyes lit up at your rhetorical question. "The dub of Cowboy Bebop is excellent. It's pretty universally considered better than watching the OG with subs. You're right though, that is the general rule."

"Oh man, who knew." Looking down, grinning, you tried to hide how endeared you were by his earnestness. "Well, it was pretty cool, not gonna lie. I guess I kind of get the appeal."

"Would you want to start watching the rest sometime? That's one I just never get tired of," he blurted, then blushed, closing his mouth and working his lips between his teeth as his eyes stayed wide and on you. Jungkook's heart accelerated in his chest, a fist opening and closing at his hip as he tried to decide whether he regretted taking a chance on the question.

You instantly diverted all your mental energy from hoping he couldn't sense your attraction to massively overthinking your response. This was a "Netflix and chill" kind of invite, right? If he wanted you, of course you wanted him, but you had to be sure before you did something else stupid and risked having to find another discussion board buddy.

"Um...yeah, sure," you accepted. "I have to ask, though, do you mean, like...Cowboy Bebop and chill?" You raised an eyebrow, trying to look bolder than you felt. "Or...Cowboy Bebop and just...Cowboy Bebop?"

"I..." Mirroring your playful grin, Jungkook shrugged, not wanting to look like a fuckboy if he answered with the first option but also wondering—were you actually interested in watching this anime with him? The possibility puzzled him, the same way it confused you how he could go bold and then back to his shy weeb-ass self within seconds. You shrugged too, with an anxious exhale of a laugh.

"That was...weird to just say like that, sorry. We can just see where it goes, whatever you want," you backtracked, full of faux-nonchalance. The Google Calendar schedule on your phone suddenly became very interesting. "We could do another day if that works for you, but I'm free after this class once I write my discussion post—I don't have any other homework or meetings today for once."

He nodded quickly, eyebrows up. Swallowing, Jungkook saw the opportunity to show a little more initiative and seized it. "We could do that together even, 'cause we usually jump off each other anyway. So you can come over right after class if you want." He glanced up and to the left for a quick mental inventory. "Oh shit, wait, but I seriously need to clean my apartment first, can we do more like dinner time tonight? You can just come over for ramen or takeout if you want, or eat first or whatever."

"Yeah, that's fine!" you agreed warmly. "Ramen and homework, two birds with one scone. I should probably, like...get your number? So you can send me your address when you're ready or something?" You didn't want to sound too desperate, especially since you knew he was used to it, but you found yourself weirdly excited to experience something he so obviously loved. If you got dicked down too, even better, but you were definitely willing to wait on that part, especially now that this first sober conversation had restored your inhibitions. He had this slightly shy sweetness about him that just made you want to make him happy somehow. You wanted to see more of his cheesy little smile. You wanted to hear the bright laugh that occasionally rang out at the most inappropriate times, during Citizen Kane or attendance. You wanted to watch his light pink lips fall open in bliss as you kissed down his sensitive neck to the trim of his worn-in hoodie...

"Yeah sure, here." The quick touch of his hand over yours snapped you out of your thoughts as he took your phone, ready to type in his number, and—

"Wait, did you say 'two birds with one scone'? Not 'one stone'?"

You blushed furiously. Somehow him calling you out on your quirks embarrassed you more than the indecent daydream he'd interrupted. "Okay, so I saw this tweet a while back where they said 'feed two birds with one scone' to replace 'kill two birds with one stone,' I think it was just some vegan troll being all like 'don't talk about killing birds!' but it stuck with me because I just really fucking love scones."

"You...really fucking love scones?" he repeated in slight sarcasm, eyes down on your phone. You grew even shyer, but continued.

"Yeah, I bake a lot and they're my favorite thing to make. The flavor possibilities are endless and they last for days so I just keep them on hand for breakfast and snacks and to give out to friends. And they go with tea, which is my other favorite thing." Ooh, was he a tea person? Should you bring some tonight? Something earthy, to go with your ramen. Your go-to green sencha, or maybe chrysanthemum? Chamomile?

Jungkook held your phone back out in front of you, but waited silently for you to notice, enjoying the view of wheels turning in your head as you pondered tea pairings. This was the you he was used to, daydreaming in class and going on tangents as dorky as his in discussions. Even from a distance, he'd noticed you consistently gave off a vibe somewhere between absentminded professor and grandma, and this confirmation made you even cuter to him. But the hair still falling over his ears wouldn't let him forget his new physical proof of another side to you.

You finally collected your phone with a mumbly "Oh right, yeah, cool, thanks," that you prayed sounded more chill to him than it did to you.

"I just texted myself, so I have your number too now, and I'll just send you my address when I'm ready, and, uh...yeah!" he rambled a bit in response.

You nodded, confirming. "I'll see you tonight!"

"Yeah, see you tonight."

Jungkook watched you walk to your desk, silently admiring your ass and allowing himself only a moment to savor the memory of half of it filling his hand. A strange nervousness tingled through him. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about you all weekend either, and now he had a chance to get closer to you than ever before. He hoped, more than he could remember hoping for anything else, that this would go well, one way or another. He had no idea what you wanted with him, but you had him questioning everything he'd thought he wanted. Easing open his laptop, he pulled up your last discussion board response to him, signed off with a smiley face but backwards.

I like the way you think. (:

He turned his head to read it right-side-up, letting his face scrunch into a smile you wouldn't see.

Meanwhile, though the film thrilled you, you struggled to stay facing forward for the duration of class. You suspected the plot of Rear Window was simply unsettling you, but you swore you could feel Jungkook's eyes on your back. No, he was probably actually watching the movie as usual, or reading his manga if not. You were definitely just being paranoid. Definitely. Probably. Right?

next chapter

#jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader smut #bts smut #bts fic #college!jungkook #college au!jungkook #bts college au #jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #jungkook imagine #bts imagine #bts fanfic #jungkook fanfic #my writing #anti-hero #anti hero

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sinnabonka · 3 years

Note

Hey Hun! Lots of love to you. For starters I wanted to say that there should be no cell in your body blaming yself in any way. You and your blog were hope for so many people. You were the "you are not crazy" of the final weeks, and I'm forever grateful to you. Instead of dying of anxiety I managed to have a blast in this time of waiting, thanks to you. I passed my master thesis, because you gave me strength to see past the fear. I laughed in those weeks more than in last 5 years, and all of it because of the hope you gave me.

The rest of the msg is going to be pretty emotional rant about the awfulness of it all, and I know my opinion doesn't matter to anyone but I wanted someone important to me to hear my thoughts, if that's ok. It's also ok if you don't want to read it ofc. It's like my breakup letter to the show.

I hear many people cheering for the finale and i find it really hard to deal with. I always considered myself an open person who fights for healthy love as the only redeeming quality of the universe. I could see people's point of view, even if it didn't sit well with mine, and I would always try to hear them out respectfully until they weren't being respectful themselves. That said, I'm fully unable to understand cheering for this type of spiteful content and hearing those cheers makes me feel like the entire world is listening to "this is how you treat your fans, this is how to abuse your power over naive sheep, this is how to keep dumb, hopeful minorities in check" and taking notes.

It also upsets me that the people who gave this show all of themselves and tried to understand it to the core are given no resolution, are spitted on and buried under the rug for doing their best to appreciate the art and the story it was telling. Yet people, who just hang around and watch the show doing the dishes, with no consideration to it's story or characters, got as nonsensical ending as their whole idea of character development in SPN.

I know people say that it was good enough, because it leaves space for guessing and own interpretation, but I feel it's really undermining the extend to which the finale was awful and hurtful to the fans. There is no end that realistically could stop fanfic writers from finding way around it in the world of Supernatural, so saying it was thoughtful of them Is like excusing abusive partner because "they could hit me harder, but they didn't. That means they care"

Lose ends, characters being written in a way that is totally not true to them and their development (personally my biggest allegation), dismissing years of story development, proving that it was all 'queerbaiting' in big part in the end (hell, even the whole "Cas is in heaven so do with it what you will" is a shameful way of appalling to LGBTQ community after using them so hard.

In the pie scene, the roles should be swapped, it's Dean who should say that Cas is on his mind and Sam explaining him that it's only right to keep on living doing good in their name. That's what Dean told Sam at the beginning of the season, when Sam lost Rowena, so it would be at least a bit poetic. This would at least give us some truth from Dean for once, but he died how he lived, in shadow of his fear to be true towards his feelings and needs. And as he died, he bound his little brother to the hunting till the end of his days, by guilting him into it on his deathbed. Guess Dean took after his father.

Have you realised what that emotional "love speech" from Dean to Sam resulted in? It was writers taking back Cas' confession after they didn't need our viewership anymore.

They basically gave us love confession to get us to follow the finale and when they didn't need us anymore, not only they didn't commit to the confession, but they undermined it by having Dean's speech to Sam go the way it did with obviously higher emotional charge, successfully taking back the value of Cas' confession and making it about a bait for "Tumblr idiots"

Finale killed my feelings towards Destiel, not because it wasn't confirmed canon, but because from what I see in the episode, they canonically confirmed that

- for Dean, Cas was only means to an end, which is such an awful way of ending Cas' character arc. They gave him everything he was scared of and nothing close to consolation price and they dare to tell us he had a happy ending, "because they said so". Well, I didn't see him being happy, and knowing what i textually know i can empathise enough to say that he faced a miserable finish. Even Chuck got an end that was better than Cas' fate.

- Dean, given power to do anything he could dream of, chooses to not even greet Cas, after Cas gave his whole life to Dean, told him he loved him and died for him. I know some people consider the little smirk of Dean confirmation of his feelings, but let's be real for just a second. If someone you deeply loved for years confessed to you, told you they thought you don't love them back, you would be freaking running to see them and tell them how much you love them. That smirk to me reads as "I'm relieved to know you're not going to spend eternity in mega hell that i left you in" and we really need to stop giving credit to writers for scraps like this when it's the last episode ever and we know this isn't going anywhere.

Not to mention that by having Jack bring Cas back behind the scenes it just highlights the fact that Dean didn't ask him to do that in episode 19.

As result, I'm unable to look at any Destiel scene and not think "in here Cas already loved him and in here Dean already abuses the power he had over Cas, because of his one-sided love"

And yet, the episode and endgames for everyone (maybe not Sam, but he was seriously pinning for Dean his entire life. Wincest much?) managed to be so bad, that not even bringing Cas back or following up on Destiel would make a difference in my eyes. I know you believe that Destiel would save it, but for me as much as it would be a redeeming quality, it wouldn't be enough to save this awfulness that writer doomed characters with.

And all the Wincest scenes in the finale... I low key expected them to make out and it made me feel physically sick. Also, cutting Misha out because of coronavirus is a cheap excuse. We all know better than to believe that, so let's not fall for the self pity play from the abuser.

If you managed to stay with me till this point, thank you so much for hearing me out. I hope i didn't anger you with my monologue. I will always think of the lamp when i think of you. The reality is that you were the lamp for so many of us in this darkness.

Love you so much, wish all the best to you, take care of yourself and stay safe!

Oh my god, if I didn’t cry with the final, I definitely am crying now. And now I have to explain my partner why I’m staring at my laptop and sobbing ugly. What have you done?

First of all, I hear you pain, my friend! I share it! I didn’t spend a second after the final without the feeling of my heart being shuttered into million pieces, being stitched back just to break again, and so on and so on.

I had my first panic attack in two years yesterday, when I kept thinking about the message the show sent to the fandom via Dean’s fate. I have a few posts in my draft on the matter, but I am not sure I will ever share them, because it is one strong depresso, and I don’t think people following me should see how fucked up it really is (if they didn’t get it by themselves, of course).

I want to remind you, my gentle soul, that the story belongs to us. We know Dean, we know Cas, we know Sam and others. We know that the final is not who they are! I know it’s hard to ignore the text, the canon, because it’s kinda godsent, but the truth is essential. And the final is not the truth.

The truth:

Cas loves Dean, he sacrificed himself for him, he saved his life on multiple occasions, he told all those beautiful things and he meant every word.

Dean loves Cas, he was on his lowest every time he lost him, Cas was his “big win”, his best friend, his brother, his white light that lead him out of his anger, hatred and despair. He took a dog and called it Miracle, he was looking for a job to retire from hunting, he didn’t kill Chuck - all of that, because the sacrifice Cas made was not in vain! The message was clear.

I choose to ignore the “Carry on”, the only attention it is going to get is me creating 20 more mails just to put a one star review there and to drop some more salty or bitter comments with it. Maybe I will read through some reviews, too, add them to my collection.

Maybe I will one day write here an article from scriptwriting perspective how fucked up in was, because that’s what I can do about it, without throwing up.

If you can’t ignore it, I understand it. It is painful, it is disrespectful, I hate it as much as you do, probably.

If there’s anything I can do for you to feel better, just drop me a message, we can talk about it. I am on the lowest, too, but maybe we can help each other.

You say I was your lamp. Let me lead you our of the darkness one more time <3

CW can suck my metaphorical dick (I’m tagging every angry post with it), but Supernatural is not just the show on CW, it’s a big family.

And you can’t give up on it! You can’t give up on Dean and Cas, you can’t give up on Destiel! It’s so much bigger then the show itself.

Rediscover the show for yourself, remind yourself that Dean and Cas are real, it was never one sided, it was always something amazing.

What is real? We are.

Don’t you ever change.

I rather have you, cursed or not.

It’s love, hun, and love always wins.

#the15yearshow #spn #destiel #cw #can suck my metaphorical dick #sinnabonka answers

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supposed2bfunny · 4 years

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2doc Week Day 3- Firsts

The bar is mostly empty, which means it must be going on three or so. Some locals remain, as do a few drunks who are too tired to move. There’s a couple sat at one of the front tables: the girl is crying; the boy is spinning his dead cellphone nervously as he tries to talk her down. ABBA is playing on the speaker over the booth where 2D and Murdoc are sitting.

It’s perfectly surreal, and it suits the musicians just fine. They’re sat across from each other, 2D’s sneakered foot is rubbing against Murdoc’s ankle every so often, and more than once, Murdoc has grabbed 2D’s wrist in his drunken excitement, pulled it across the table, and kissed the back of his hand, or his palm.

It’s nice.

“This bartender,” Murdoc says, flicking the empty shells of some peanuts that sit between them on the table, which 2D had munched on hours ago, “he reminds me of someone from our last tour. Who is it?”

“Umm,” 2D spins his tongue along the rim of his beer bottle, turning to stare none-too-subtly at the bartender. “Bald? Dunno. Sure he wasn’t a backstage techie?”

“No, not his baldness, dumbass, his nose and goatee. Reminds me of…someone.”

“Sort of looks like Count Chocula to me.”

“What?” Murdoc snorts, nearly choking on a sip of ale. “Who?”

“The bloke from that cereal! From America! Russel introduced it to us. He had a goatee, I think.”

“But a vampire? Mate, this guy doesn’t look like a vampire.”

“Then who’s he remind you of?” he challenges, kicking the older man’s shin lightly beneath the table.

“Dunno, he reminds me of someone from one of our tours. We were touring Humanz, I think.”

“Oh that was ages, ago, Muds. Don’t think I’d remember the backup musicians we had with us.”

“Pity, we had some top notch players for that tour. Vienna? We were solid!”

“The four of us really had our mojo on then too,” 2D agrees. “Remember you and Noods just riffing, trading bars, sounding crazy. Like Titans clashing on Mount Vesuvius!”

“Mount Olympus, but I appreciate the simile,” he chuckles, reaching for the singer’s hand yet again, pressing his lips to his knuckles. “You didn’t sound so bad yourself then, if my admittedly liquor-spotted memory serves.”

“Muds, you always say that I sound good live,” he giggles.

Murdoc sets his drink down, taps the table in his excitement. “Well duh, Tweedle-Dee, you were born to perform! With your looks and your voice, on a stage is where you’re meant to be. It’s like seeing a king assuming his gilded throne!”

“I get a few drinks into you and you become a world-class flatterer, don’t you?”

“You should see what I’ll do after a few dozen,” he says with a wink.

2D’s eyes flit away from the bartender, whose visage could be similar to anyone’s at this point; they’ve lost interest in that conversation, in him. The singer scans the shitty decor, the dead bug-flecked lights and the vinyl discs displayed above the bar. It’s a real dive, this place, and it’s perfect. The ultimate destination to get lost with Murdoc for hours reminiscing, drinking, taking in the way the dim lights soften Murdoc’s features, to savor the way he smiles more readily when they’re in a place people won’t recognize or bother them.

“D’you really think that I’m still, you know, up to par when I perform live?” he asks after a moment.

Murdoc’s flirty smile shifts; his own mismatched eyes shunt from 2D’s restless hands to his face, to his hands again, trying to gauge where the conversation is going. “I wouldn’t bother saying it if I didn’t think it was true,” he says slowly, and if they were outside, he would be plucking a cigarette from his pocket. “I don’t bullshit, Stu.”

“That’s bullshit,” he can’t help but smile at the absurdity of the statement. “You spend ninety percent of your waking hours talking out of your arse!”

“Yeah, but not to you,” Murdoc clarifies, and, despite the staggering amount of alcohol they’ve consumed over the course of the night, and how it’ll be dawn before they know it, and in spite of the way the world keeps spinning them along at a speed that 2D struggles to comprehend sometimes, the moment becomes somehow sharper then, the intensity of Murdoc’s gaze sober, the gravity of his words like a planetary re-alignment.

Oh, 2D thinks, of course. That makes sense.

“Okay, well then…I guess I just ask because…that was 2017. And I’m not getting any younger. I don’t have the vocal range I used to, from the cigarettes, probably. Sometimes performing stuff live, I think of how easy it used to be to slip up into high octaves. And I had more hair back then too. Don’t know if I could really pass for a ‘pretty boy’ these days, not like it’s something I need to do. Do you know what I mean, Muds? Like, I still like performing live, but d’you ever wonder how much longer I can carry our image? Not a spring chicken. I’m—”

“Right, just going to go ahead and cut you off there, pet. I know the beginning of a downwards spiral when I hear it,” Murdoc interjects, and he realizes it’s true. A niggling fear that’s been in the back of his mind for months now. Since he turned forty, if he’s being honest. He leans over the table, wanting to be closer to the bassist, and Murdoc meets his stare placidly. “Stu, I’ve had a bit to drink, but I’m going to give it to you as coherently as I can: you’re a rockstar. That makes you timeless, legendary. Think of Gene Simmons!”

“I’d rather not,” 2D admits. “Ew.”

“Okay, well, think Paul McCartney or Mick Jagger! Those blokes make us look like embryos, and they still sell out MSG whenever they go on tour! It’s because of their charisma, their talent, their mojo; the old bags are damn immortal!”

“And you think Gorillaz are immortal, Muds? You’re not just saying that as like, a Satanist or whatever?”

“No, I’m saying it because I’m abso-fucking-lutely confident that after being in the music industry for most of my life, I know talent when I see it. I’m not just patronizing you because you’re my boyfriend, Stu, I’m telling you: you’re a natural-born performer, and that shit doesn’t fade with age. You’re a blue-haired legend!”

2D leans back, drinks in the sight of Murdoc, drunk, laconic, confident in his words. “You’re really serious about me,” he murmurs after a long pause, punctuated by the Blondie that is now pouring out of the shitty speaker wedged above their booth.

“Duh,” Murdoc snaps. “Have been since I rammed into that pretty head with my Astra, but glad you’ve finally realized that I meant it when I said I knew you’d be the ultimate cash cow—”

“No, no. Not about my talent,” he answers, because really, who gives a damn whether he’ll be able to sell out MSG when he’s sixty years old? “You just called me your boyfriend.”

He sees the realization as it flickers into Murdoc’s dark eyes; like flash cotton, it’s a burst of bright, embarrassed understanding, almost instantly quelled by a more casual mask that 2D is intimately familiar with. “Did I?”

2D smiles, lifts his long, long legs up to rest his feet on the tops of Murdoc’s thighs, making the bassist squirm a little. Maybe they’ve spent enough time at this dive bar. 2D is suddenly feeling electric, and a great deal younger than he was at the onset of their evening together. He’s a bit restless, wants to walk with Murdoc, to walk and smoke and find a sidewalk that will lead them along the water so they can watch dawn break as they’ve done countless times together.

“Yeah, you did. You’ve never said that word before.”

“Well, you are, aren’t you?” Murdoc grumbles, playing at nonchalant.

“Oh yeah, only been dating since, what? 2017? 2018?”

“Only been a little bit in love since what, 1999?” Murdoc asks, voice gone all quiet.

Gracelessly, 2D stands, fumbling for his wallet so he can leave a tip at the table and hasten the bassist out the door. He’s known Murdoc loved him for years, decades even. Neither of them has had any reason to hide it. But he’s never heard Murdoc refer to him as his boyfriend before, and didn’t even know the word was in his vocabulary.

“Hey, Muds?” he asks when his sudden movement makes the bassist blanch. “Walk with me? I want to slip my hand in your back pocket, but that’s pretty hard to do when we’re slunk in a booth.”

“Oh, oh yeah, sure,” words tend to abandon Murdoc when he’s serious, and 2D smiles, revels in getting to see him when he’s this raw.

Nodding at the bartender that might look like someone they’ve worked with and who might just look like himself, both men step out into the cool night, Murdoc’s hands instantly going for his pack of cigarettes and 2D’s arm instantly snaking around his waist, pulling him close.

“Nice night for a romantic walk, eh?”

“It’s not night, idiot, it’s well into morning.”

“Well then, good morning, starlight,” Murdoc chuckles, inhales a breath of smoke and hands the cigarette to 2D.

“Good morning, handsome,” he replies, feeling giddy, like a girl on her first date. Like a first date he’s played out a million times before, that gets better and better each time.

#2doc #2doc week #2doc week 2020 #2doc week day 3 #niccalpot #i love the idea of these two just getting drunk and talking all night long <3

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royallyprincesslilly · 4 years

Text

Title: Love, Maybe? {43}

Chris Evans X Reader OFC Vixen Giovanni

Warning: Cursing, Heavy Angst

Word Count: 2K

Summary: After a night of drunkenness you wake up next to warm, hot as hell body, a migraine and no memory of the night before. When you come to realize that the hot body belongs to none other than Hollywood’s golden boy Chris Evans you freak out. As events unfold you become even more panicked to find out you got married in your drunken haze. What else is there to do but get it annulled, right? Before walking away, you share one more night of molten kisses and passion. Three years later you are still living with the repercussions of your brash decisions, but the surprises don’t stop there. The past has a way of coming back and have you questioning is this fate that you’ve been running from, hell could it have been love, maybe?

NOTE: **Italic texts is an inner Vixen thought. Bold Italic texts is an inner Chris thought.

**Loosley Edited/Proofread**

Thank you guys for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊❤❤️

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Chapter 41: Life Goes On

-Chris-

That was the end of it. What do you do when the woman you married for fun turns out to be the woman of your dreams, the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with decides she doesn’t want to spend her life with you because of something you’d done? How do you move on and not be completely destroyed when you saw her? How do you be around her and still be the good guy? After five days out of town back in Boston, he still hadn’t figured it out.

That line they use and say space gives your perspective and helps heal wounds was a crock of shit. He was more than a thousand miles away from you but still, he was hurting. Every day seemed to intensify the pain he felt. He thought of you all day, dreamt of you, and in between that he tried to pretend he was fine. Everyone around him knew he wasn’t fine. They all knew but no one spoke a word about it. He was grateful for it.

His mood was shit, his behavior was shit and his work ethic was also shit. He didn’t give a shit about anything no matter how he tried. He tried over time to not be angry with you, not resent you or even hate you and for the most part, it was working. He didn’t hate you, he couldn’t he realized that months ago. That’s what made it so hard. It would have been easier on him to hate you; it would probably have helped with the pain he felt but he couldn’t bring himself to it.

So, he had to figure out a way to be neutral around you. He had to figure out a way to accept his reality, a reality that didn’t include you in his life in the capacity he wanted. He had to come to terms that the only role that mattered right now was father. By the time he accepted that he devised a plan to focus on that, focus on Ella. He worked to mentally and emotionally be prepared to be the best father he could, the father Ella deserved.

MSG: I’d like to spend some time with Ella, if possible.

A few minutes passed with no response. With every second his angst grew.

MSG Vixen: Sure. Tell me when and I’ll make it happen.

MSG: I should be back in town tomorrow. So, maybe I can spend lunch with her?

MSG Vixen: Yeah sounds good. I’ll have Nexus prepared. Text her when you’re ready.

He should have known you would hand it off to Nexus. You were avoiding him just as much as he was avoiding you.

MSG: Perfect.

He had no idea how he’d get through eighteen years of this, better yet, the rest of his life.

-Vixen-

If you fell apart over a few text messages how were you going to keep it together face to face? In the span of a week, you’d barely been able to keep it together. You focused on work and finishing the smaller details for the restaurant. Smaller details such as promo, publicity, interviews the things you hated. The paps were still running wild with the news of your and Chris’ situation. They hadn’t calmed down or slowed down with the narratives they spun.

One day the plausible theory was you were a gold digger who saw an opportunity, planned on it and pounced. They suspected you were the mechanics behind the motion to marry and even trapped him by purposely getting pregnant. Then the next day the hypothesis was the two of you were head over heels in love and got swept up in the moment and kept your marriage secret because Chris was ashamed of you because you were a nobody, and so far beneath him. In the span of a week, you’d heard so many possible narratives it was insane.

When you nor Chris made an effort to make a statement to confirm, deny or acknowledge the state of things then the viciousness began. They tried to paint you as the one who didn’t belong and would hurt him then when they brought up your race it drove you crazy. They wondered how in the world you got together said there was no indication Chris liked women like you. The fixation on your race was incredible, it shocked you, but it shouldn’t have. Chris was vocal with shutting down race talks and even went off a few times on some paps who just wouldn’t show any respect. It was a kind gesture one part of you appreciated but the other part hated feeling like you needed rescuing. You didn’t.

The more promo you did the more paps followed you. It was a tough adjustment, it still seemed highly invasive and creeped you out when you saw cars following you for a picture, or camped outside the restaurant or even when they found you doing normal things. It had gotten to the point where Kassius found it necessary to higher security for you no matter how much you protested. It was a rude awakening and another reason for you to hurry up and get the hell out of town. You were desperate for your real world, your normal life.

MSG Nexus: I’m here at his house. Do you want me to just leave them?

“You have to trust him with her at some point, right?”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath.

MSG: You can leave them if you want. I have to trust him with her at some point.

MSG Nexus: Wow, okay. I’ll let you know.

You continued your work while keeping one eye on your phone. Ten minutes passed, then a message came in.

MSG Nexus: He asked me to stay. So we’re here at his house, having lunch. Ttyl.

-Chris-

God, she looked even bigger. It had been weeks since he saw her. He knew he missed her but didn’t fathom how much. The minute she saw him she wriggled free from Nexus’ arms into his. It felt good. From then she chattered and chattered never slowing or letting him get a word in. Since meeting her he’d gotten pretty good at understanding what she meant. For nearly forty minutes she didn’t want to be put down, she just wanted him to hold her and it was just fine by him. He could hold her the rest of his life and it wouldn’t be enough.

Across the way he saw Nexus scrolling through her phone occasionally while watching him. She barely spoke three words to him; he knew she was holding in quite a lot. He deserved her silent treatment; he didn’t debate it. He also didn’t know what to say to her, so he said nothing. He was tired, plain and simple.

They ate together and he watched as Ella acted silly. She was showing her sense of humor and he loved it. She was as silly and goofy as him. You were right she was a tiny replica of him. It was interesting looking at a walking, talking, breathing version of yourself, a smaller one. It filled him with pride that he could have had a part in creating her. Out of everything he’d ever done, this—she was the only good and right thing.

“I can’t stand the tension anymore.”

“What tension?” Nexus looked innocent and clueless.

“You are just like her, able to pretend and fake things that others cannot,” he informed.

“She is the master; I am but the apprentice.” He smirked and nodded.

“I’ll take that. I’ve always liked you Nexus. There is something about you that comes off as down to earth, kind, someone that is--.”

“Easily lied to?” He nodded then rubbed the back of his neck. She was right.

“I deserve that. I’m sorry.”

Nexus took a deep breath and released it. “You don’t. You didn’t fuck up my life. You just fucked up hers.”

“I did and I—regret it more than you’ll ever know. There is nothing I can say that’ll make it okay.”

“How do you plan on making it okay?”

He studied her, it was clear she either didn’t know what had happened in the last week or she didn’t think it mattered.

“There is no making it right, I’ve accepted that. Look, I don’t want to rehash things. To be honest I am tired of the back and forth of this. It’s been one hell of a couple weeks. I can’t keep doing this. It’s hard, tiring, painful.”

He didn’t realize he was babbling until he noticed Nexus was staring at him. She looked as if she were studying him trying to understand the inner workings of his mind.

“Thank you for bringing Ella by. I really missed her.”

“No problem. I understand. That kid of yours is easy to miss,” Nexus responded.

He stared at Ella as she played in the playroom he’d had designed. She looked like she loved it. How could she not? He’d put everything imaginable in there, it was a kid’s dream.

“She is.”

“Can I give you one word of advice on Vixen?”

He sighed but didn’t answer for a few moments. He then nodded.

“Never let her decide where you go. If you do that you won’t go anywhere. Her instinct is not geared toward connection, she loves her freedom, and any threat to it is met like a hostile invasion. She feels a lot more than she lets on.”

He scoffed and shook his head. He’d always thought there was way more going on inside you than you let on. He’d tried to figure you out, but you were always wearing a mask even when you weren’t.

“Well, she’ll have her freedom in no time. The divorce will be final in three months give or take.”

He stood and went over to Ella, reminding himself that she was his priority, his most important role.

After saying goodbye to Ella that evening he made a visit to his lawyers.

“It’s a good thing you came by Chris, I wanted to go over a few things. Have you and Vixen spoke about what you intend to do?”

“Uh, a little bit. I’m not here to talk about that though. I wanted to come by and just state some things. Sherman, I know you understand me as a person and know what I value and what I stand for. Max, you’re new to this team and I don’t hold anything against you, I just need you to grasp who I am as a person. Until then I want Sherman to take point with all of my legal matters.”

Max looked floored. “Even with what he did to get you in this predicament?”

“Yes. I trust him. So, if you don’t like it then there’s the door.” Max didn’t speak, he just sat and listened.

“Good. So to begin no matter where this leads, I want you both to know that I don’t want anything from her. Nothing at all. Whatever she had three years ago is hers, and everything she earned and accomplished since is solely hers.”

“Okay, that’s admirable. What about when it comes to you?”

“If she wants half give it to her. If it comes up and she wants to go after anything I own split it in the middle. I want this to be easy.”

“What!” Max was on his feet. “Chris, that’s insane. You’re worth millions. You’re really going to sacrifice half of that to some woman you married on a whim?”

“Yes.” It was a plain answer, one that was so simple it ended the discussion.

“I’ll handle it, Chris,” Sherman informed.

“Good. Also, regarding Ella, our daughter, I don’t want to go after custody, not even joint. Right now, there’ll be a lot for her to get used to and I don’t want to cause more damage than necessary. We’ll take it slow. I just want to be able to see her for a few hours when I’m able to in San Francisco. I just want access, Sherman.”

Max didn’t look like he approved but he sat silently.

“Got it, Chris. I’ll relay it to her council.”

“Thanks. You know how to reach me.” He stood and walked out the door. He really didn’t care anymore about everything he had before. He was seeing the world a whole lot differently now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

***If you want to be tagged please SEND AN ASK SO IT WILL BE EASIER FOR ME TO KEEP TRACK OF. Thank you for reading!!!

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#love maybe fic #Chris Evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #Chris Evans X black reader #chris evans smut #angst fanfic #slow burn fanfic #black fanfiction

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calypsoff · 3 years

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Eleven. Part 3

My niggas weren’t joking when they said we going Texas, I really thought they was joking but no. They came here early in the morning, like we barley slept, and we are going to the airport, I am shocked because I did think it was a joke and we were all joking about it, but they came and we are going, the ticket was cheap anyways, but I am tired as hell “you still look half asleep, you thought we was joking?” TJ hit my arm laughing “I did bro, I didn’t think neither of you would have pulled through. I thought it was a joke when we spoke on it. How come?” I questioned, I need to know what made them actually do it “because I saw how upset you was, look we are your friends Chris. We know you and we understand why, we want to succeed with you and a fresh start will be best for you, and for us so yeah. Let’s fucking do this” Barry cheered behind me “Texas here we come, like my moms was asking. And I said it, I goes mom. It’s time I grow the fuck up, I am going to Texas with the brothers, I want and need a fresh start so yeah, we are doing this” I love these two so much “I hope we blow up the way I want too, I have it in my mind on how we going to blow up and shit” I am excited as fuck “if we being real, like being real about this. Rihanna is going to push you to blow up and we will follow, trust me. Like I am not using her for no clout but it will happen, I seen this shit happen and that is how it will happen. You can’t stop it, we can’t either. But we got you” TJ has a point, but I won’t ever use her for clout because that is not me “oh yeah it’s her birthday, let me send her a morning text” that reminds me, I can imagine she is hungover. She never messaged me at all during the night, I hope she had a good night “you are so whipped!” Barry laughed, tapping on her name on my messages.

Chris: Good morning birthday girl! I do hope yu had a nice night and yur getting somehow spoilt my love for your hangover! Msg me when yu can cause I’m currently going to the airport going Texas, love xx

Pressing send on the message, not too mushy I do hope because I ain’t trying to be a little bitch either. Tapping on Instagram, I am going to post our school picture actually, let me do that. I have noticed some of her fans are following me and have been commenting on that picture I posted, they think I am a fan page, they need to realise that is my girlfriend. Tapping on the plus sign “what you posting?” TJ asked, he is so nosey “just the picture of Robyn and I in school, when we did that project together, we look mad awkward” I chuckled, scrolling up slowly “you not got any private picture of little miss rih rih!?” TJ asked, shaking my head “nah, I don’t do pictures like Robyn does. You know me, I barely use this shit” tapping on the photo and then pressing next, that day was funny as fuck because we argued because she claimed I did nothing, I did nothing because she was kissing me constantly, adding a caption to the post ‘When you have a crush on the foreign exchange student and then you had to do a project with her, then it turns out she is Rihanna. My woman crush every day, Barbadian Cherry! Happy Bday Queen @badgalriri you CAME a long way from hiding your forehead with the bayang lol’ Pressing send on the post and laughing to myself, she has come a long way and I am super proud of her.

The flight is slightly delayed so we are waiting to board the flight “bro” looking over at Barry, smiling at the camera as TJ took a picture, this nigga is big on photos, his timeline is full but I just be posting minimum shit “my phone is going off the hook, like the hell” grabbing my phone from the pocket and seeing the notifications, Rihanna fans are crazy. Tapping on the notifications, I have many comments under this post of her. It’s an unseen photo I guess, they are intrigued by it “what was she like in school? Please answer” I read out to myself, answering the question ‘She was shy but very sweet’ pressing send on the message, I am not going to answer all of that at all. Looking down at the notification from Robyn, she is awake. Tapping on it.

Robyn: I don’t remember approving the club thing?

Chris: Lol but you did!? It’s there

She must have really been drunk; this is hilarious. So she doesn’t remember approving the club thing, thank god she was busy I guess. She is online so I guess she is catching up.

Robyn: WAIT YOU ARE WHERE?! I am calling you NOW

Barry nudged me “let’s go” he pointed; oh they are boarding. Let me message her back quickly.

Chris: Boarding flight, hold off on that.

Locking my phone getting up from the seat, grabbing my backpack and duffle “man, that ticket lady fine as hell. Look at her booty” Barry said in a whisper, looking to where he is looking and I see it, her booty is big “damn” even I had to say that, Barry jumped up and down as we got closer to the woman “y’all childish” pushing them out of the way, let me just get my ticket checked “hey” holding my ticket out “Texas” she said it like she ain’t stood at the gate “yeah, I mean that is the gate you’re at” I pointed “yeah, you got anything going on there? Just for fun, seems like a boys holiday” I chuckled “uh nah, nah. Just a visit, need to get out of Virginia ain’t a good place ma” my phone started to ring in my hand, it’s Robyn calling me “but they make great men here” looking up at her “they generate a lot of idiots you mean” do I answer this or not, maybe not “you want his number or something!?” TJ asked “uh no, I am just making conversation, now I get what you mean about the idiots part” nodding my head smiling “Houston too? If I was your girl I wouldn’t let you do anything” letting out an oh “why, what is in Houston?” she passed my ticket back “plenty of beautiful women” she winked at me “thank you” I grinned, she let out an awww “you have the cutest dimple too, have a nice flight” she is that dumb she ain’t check my passport but whatever, walking off smiling that is funny anyways “oh shit” Robyn is calling me again, she ain’t going to give up. Answering the call “one minute” I said, I am balancing shit here “you flirt with him but just stand there like I am nothing!?” TJ half shouted, shaking my head laughing at him.

Placing my phone against my ear “my bad, you good? Sore head?” I asked “yeah that but I don’t remember agreeing to the club part, why are you going Texas? Where is the discussion!?” she is panicking about me going Texas when I am sure I said “to check out the apartments there with my friends, you knew I am doing that. Just some shit went down and I just said it to them, they all agreed. Last minute thing, also you shouldn’t be thinking about me, it’s your birthday. You ready for part two?” she needs to stop fussing over me and just enjoy herself “right, so you are going Texas, for how long? Now I feel out of the loop about things, or am I not paying attention to you” shaking my head “no, it was last minute. Baby, I don’t want you to worry about that. Enjoy your day, y’all niggas taking ages, but don’t worry about it” walking off “I could do with some snuggles from you, just text me when you land. I am sober to know what I am writing back to you” she sighed out “so tonight I will text you and you will be drunk and say yes” I laughed, that is funny she doesn’t remember approving but yet she did.

I think Robyn is annoyed with herself, but she wrote yes and that is not my fault. She seems to be annoyed anyways, not sure why and if it’s me or just that she is hungover “woah!” I half shouted, bit too loud on the plane, Robyn has commented on the post which has made my post blow up and gain followers, I am not excited but it’s just crazy the power she holds, tapping on her comment to expand it ‘Oh yeah I remember you…… Skinny goofy looking. Tripped up the steps when you showed me around? Ah, yeah I do lol thank you boo!’ she ain’t shit, that happened too. She commented back, that is the point but now I feel like some stupid fan because I got excited over that, it’s just surreal and weird that it’s her, millions of followers, they move like a cult. I need to get used to it and accept that.

#Chrianna FF #Chrianna #Chrianna Fanfiction #Fanfic #Fanfiction

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