#i wanna do day 7 i just...need a concrete idea and also time tomorrow to draw it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kazoo5480 · 3 years

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Ruby eyed Killian as he opened the door, and when Emma came in the door she squealed running toward her.

“Are you insane! I was terrified when you disappeared! You didn’t answer your phone, I was so worried” Ruby admonished while hugging her in a rocking motion. She kissed Emma’s cheek leaving a red imprint, and Emma smiled.

“Thank you, Rubes. I needed exactly what you gave me” she said and hugged her friend.

Ruby nodded and glanced at Killian. He stepped forward and Ruby hugged him, whispering in his ear that she had just been trying to protect them both.

He nodded, and Ruby cupped his cheek. She handed her keys to Emma before they could ask, and said she would have food ready for them on their way out.

Killian walked into Emma’s room and noticed her bed looked very slept in. Like a nest of pillows and blankets.

“Swan, did you have guests?” He asked, and she nodded.

“Ruby and M’s slept with me,” she said and his heart squeezed.

“C'mere, Swan” and patted the bed. She sat and he cupped her jaw. “No more running, I’m not, I need you to not either. Do you need space? We argue, I’ll give you space but we don’t leave our house angry, or scared. Ok?” His eyes bore into hers, and she nodded.

“Ok. But what if we need actual space?” She asked moving to stand.

He shrugged. I’ll get a couch for the office, sleep in the shop. But no, Granny’s isn’t our safe haven when we fight. That’s something I’ve been thinking about too" he said.

Emma looked at him curiously. “What do you mean? She asked.

"A house. For us. More space, I don’t know. It was just a thought” he said as he shoved her laptop bag full and zipped it.

Emma didn’t respond, and when he looked at her she sat in his lap and put her arms around his neck.

“I’m sorry again. My rationale was that I ran somewhere nearby where I could straighten myself out. You had Graham, but my lack of communication sent you to a dark place. I trusted you, I knew you wouldn’t do that to me. But I needed the space to make sure my feelings were under control, that I wouldn’t hurt you just out of retaliation for your horrible ex-girlfriend. I didn’t plan to run out of town, that’s why I came here. A block away, I just needed to make sure that I was able to be rational, tell you why I did this to myself, and apologize to you” she said softly, and he let her continue.

“I hurt you by not trusting myself. I don’t know how to make that up to you. I am sorry you felt alone, I just was so afraid I’d say something to make it worse when really by saying nothing made it worse than words probably ever could have. I’ll just try to be better for you, every day.” she finished.

Killian wiped the stray tears on her cheeks away. “Ground rules Swan. No running. You wanna yell, fine. You want to run, you tell me why, and then you can yell some more when I won’t let you run. You just can’t do that to me, it made me feel insane because I lost the one person I depend on. Who held my happiness inside of her, and while on some level I knew you had to be nearby, I couldn’t say a word" he said, swallowing.

“You didn’t pick up calls, I didn’t know where you were. Had it been me who stumbled in and saw you in that way, I would have probably hit the guy too. The difference is I would have stopped, and asked if you were ok, and taken you home. You ran, like a ghost with no way for me to find you. I get it from your past, the abandonment, I forgive you, but I can’t have you do it ever again. It isn’t fair to me” he finished.

Emma nodded and hugged him. “I promise” she whispered and he hugged her tighter.

Killian kissed her, “now let’s get you home. We can watch all 7 Harry Potters since I probably won’t be letting you out of my sight for a while,” he said with a small chuckle.

Emma nodded, “fair enough”. She set her forehead against his.

“Are you sure that you can forgive me?” She asked and he nodded.

“I did the moment you left the note on your pillow, I just wish you’d have said where you were” he whispered.

“I knew you’d break the door down, and I wasn’t ready,” she said, stroking his hair.

Killian grabbed her bag, and she took one last look and they headed home, grabbing the bag off the counter from Ruby.

Emma unpacked quickly and changed into her pajamas wrapping one of Killian’s flannels around her as she ate her grilled cheese watching Harry Potter. Killian polished off his burger, and Emma laid atop him snuggling into him.

Killian’s phone chirped and he opened it, Emma watching the TV. Marco emailed him. He kissed Emma’s hair and said he would be right back, and headed into the bathroom.

Marco had sketched something incredibly similar to the photo, and he had priced out different stones giving him an idea. Killian typed out the number, one he had crunched every which way to make sure it was a smart choice and emailed him back asking what his options for the stone, the ring, and Marcos work would be totaled together.

He brushed his teeth and plugged his phone in. He smiled. Marco had said it could be ready by June, if not earlier. He shook the thought away and smiled at Emma curled up. He came back, and she sat up making room for him.

"Can we get a bigger couch? Like a sectional? She asked and he laughed beneath her cheek.

"Why? You don’t want to share couch space?” He asked her.

“No it’s not that, but it would be nice to get something more comfortable, maybe with one of those chaise things we can snuggle on together,” she said, her bottom lip jutting out and he laughed.

"As you wish” and kissed her forehead.

Emma headed to bed and snuggled into Killian. “Is it cold in here to you? She asked him.

He shook his head and felt her forehead, and frowned. "You don’t feel warm, do you not feel well?” He asked.

She shook her head, “just cold” she said.

“What do you think about a dog?” He mused as he played with her hair.

Emma looked at him, “I always wanted one,” she said with a small smile, and if he wasn’t mistaken, a little hopefulness.

He smiled,“ let’s get one. Someone for you to run with,” he said.

Emma smiled, “We don’t have a yard, the concrete out back would hurt its paws,” she said sadly.

He thought about it and nodded. “What if we fostered one for the holiday season? Graham always says they need foster homes since the staff wants to be with their families.”

“I think that would be okay,” she said, “just a foster until we have more room.”

“Are you allergic to anything?” He mused. She smiled and nodded, “penicillin.” He was surprised, but it was good to know.

“Are you?” She responded, and he shook his head, “not that I know of, but that’s good to know. Is August?” He asked and she shook her head.

“I should probably update my forms,” she said absentmindedly.

“Forms?” He asked her, cocking an eyebrow.

“Yeah, medical forms, emergency contact information. I can add you, and keep August” she said.

He nodded. “I should probably do that too. Graham is mine,” he said. Emma nodded and kissed his jaw.

“You really aren’t cold?” She asked him again, and he shook his head pulling her closer. He started worrying, what if she got sick.

She curled her legs, tucking her feet between his calves. Killian yelped.

“What the bloody hell is that? You’re that cold?” She smiled and nodded at him.

“I’ll plastic the windows this weekend,” he said and kissed her forehead.

“I love you” she whispered, her head tucked under his chin.

“I love you more than anything. Sleep, I have a busy day tomorrow” and cuddled her tighter.

Killian’s breath evened out, and Emma couldn’t sleep. She laid there thinking, unable to turn her brain off. She began reading work emails, and deciding which cases she would take and those she wouldn’t. She knew she wanted to quit her job, but she also knew she had to give Graham an answer.

She rolled over on her side, looking at Storybrooke real estate. A large Gray victorian was for sale. It looked like it needed a lot of TLC, but it wasn’t crazy expensive. She would run past it tomorrow.

“Emma, sleep” Killian grumbled pulling her back into his chest, curling around her.

She shut her eyes, and finally drifted off to sleep, his body heat warming her.

Killian snuck out of bed and dressed, opening the shop up. He had a full day and was grateful for it. He had a ring to buy after all so he should probably try to keep the garage as full as possible.

He texted August and said he did want some help with stocks after all. Maybe a few investments were not a bad idea. He also thought about Emma’s approaching birthday, and his thought was interrupted as the new neighbor Ingrid pulled into the lot.

He waved and walked out to greet her. He apologized for his behavior, and she smiled knowingly. “

I’ve met Emma, she is lovely,“ she said and he nodded.

She needed help with her new ice cream truck and asked if he could have it towed, it needed quite a bit of work and a paint job. He happily accepted and promised to drop by around lunch. She left her car for an oil change, and he said he would drive it back to her when he came to see the truck.

Billy walked up the lot and Killian waved him in, and he turned on the radio getting to work.

Emma got up and pulled her email up, groaning when she saw a new case waiting in her inbox. She read the file, it was something local in Portland, so she agreed and said she would take it up tomorrow. That would be the last one she decided and would tell him after she turned the skip in, and got paid.

She headed down, Killian was under a car so she lowered the music waving to Billy. “Jones?” she called out.

Killian slid out and sat up, and she knelt before him. Pulling her phone out she showed him her maps, “I made sure you had access, I promise not to ever turn it off, even if I get mad. Ok?” she said and he pulled her to him and kissed her.

“Enjoy your run” and he kissed her again and she stood up, watching him slide back under the car.

Emma put her headphones in, and thought to the gray house, typing the address into her app and following the route. She hit play, and her music came to life. She tried to focus on the scenery, the people who smiled at her as she ran by, waving back. She tried to pick apart the last few days, tomorrow and analyzed why she was even running past this house.

She found herself running along the road, the beach and water to her right, and she noticed the houses were spread out further here. She wondered if she was lost, and then she saw it. She slowed to a walk stopping outside the white picket fence.

The house was massive and looked like it was in quite a state of disrepair. She noticed a flyer box on the for sale sign sitting on the lawn. She grabbed one, and walked around the back of the house, taking it in. The lawn was overgrown but there was a good size garage, three cars maybe, and the yard had a big tree, a lot of sun, and privacy.

She looked at the flyer again, and it was a pretty big house on the inside, whatever that looked like. The photos looked older, but she knew it wouldn’t be right to look at it without Killian.

When she got back she went upstairs and changed, heading to the market. She grabbed everything for the week, and some stuff to take to Portland with her on the off chance she was stuck overnight. She started making stir fry, and Killian walked in as it was almost done.

“No offense love, but you need a shower,” he said and kissed her neck. She laughed at him and told him to scoot. Killian headed down the hall, and she finished up, setting the dinner aside.

She stripped off her clothes and got in the shower. Killian’s back was to her and wrapped her arms around his waist.

“I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist,” he said and turned around smiling down at her.

“Never said I would,” she said and lifted on her toes to kiss him. “But I do need a shower,” she said.

Killian hummed in appreciation, and grabbed the showerhead, holding it over her, and she started washing her hair, and he poured a generous amount of her body wash in her hand, rubbing it over her back, and slipping his soapy hands around, washing her everywhere except where she wanted him.

He was driving her insane on purpose. Emma smiled, let him continue, and began smearing the soap everywhere he wasn’t touching her, giving him a little show. Killian sat on the bench while she rinsed and shaved, and she watched as he took himself in hand, clearly trying to kill her with sexual tension.

Killian watched her close her eyes, sighing as the hot water ran over her body, her full breasts rosy pink, the cloud of vanilla encompassing the shower. He watched as she rubbed the soap off her chest, sliding her hands down and she threw him a saucy smirk, turning around and letting him take in a full view of her ass.

He groaned, his hand gently tugging his shaft, his skin flushed from the steam and before he was too far gone, he sat back, the cool glass against his back. Emma stood before him and kneeled. She tugged his lips to hers, her tongue seeking entrance to his mouth, and his arms banded around her pulling her closer.

Emma ran her hands down his chest, her nails scraping over his thighs, and he smirked at her, she kissed her way down before taking his thick cock in her hand and running her tongue across the weeping tip. She felt Killian’s hand weave into her hair, and she took him inside to her throat.

“Gods love, just like that,” he said and she sucked softly, swirling her tongue around the head before pumping him, and licking him sac to tip. His fingers tightened, scraping her scalp. She went back to doting on him, gently caressing his sac, and taint, paying special attention to the thick vein that ran up the length of him and he moaned her name loud enough for it to echo off the tiles.

“Emma” he cried, and she went faster. He was rutting his hips, holding her hair so tightly that he was fucking her mouth. She let him set the pace, and continued rubbing and cupping him, urging him on. She felt him swell and knew he was getting close. She sucked harder, her tongue rolling over the tip of him, and he growled as he came in her mouth.

Emma slowed her movements, gently letting him ride out the aftershocks and she looked up and him, his head tipped against the glass and eyes shut. She smirked and stood, washing her face and brushing her teeth quickly. She looked over, and his chest was heaving but he was looking at her with a wicked grin.

She shut the water off and reached for a towel which he promptly snatched away. He backed her against the tile and tossed the towel over the glass. “Oh love, I’m not done with you yet” he purred, and his fingers traced lines down Emma’s sides, tickling her.

Killian smirked as she giggled at him, and he glided his hands up to cup the heavy weights of her breasts, running his thumbs across the peaks. He kept his eyes locked on hers, watching the green darken, and she bit down on her lip. He tugged and rolled each nipple, getting her attention.

“I want to hear you,” he said and leaned in to kiss the column of her throat. Nipping and sucking the sensitive points, until she finally sighed, and her hips bucked. He smirked and felt his cock begin to harden again, felt the need for her crackling in his veins. He tugged her away from the wall and guided her to face the bench, lifting her leg to it, opening her.

He knelt behind her, and kissed over the globes of her perfect ass, leaving light bite marks in his wake as he moved her foot over slightly to widen her. Emma gasped above him, her hands planted on the glass in front of her for balance.

Killian licked and kneaded her cheeks until they were pink, and he smirked. He moved his way up, kissing her spine as he rose, and Emma trembled, goosebumps rising on her flesh. He nosed along her shoulder, lightly biting down on her neck, his tongue running over the marks left behind.

“Killian” she whispered, and he ran his palms across her belly, and hips until he finally ran his fingers across her slippery folds earning him a cry that would haunt him. “Please” she begged.

“Mmm, I like when you beg. What do you want, Swan?” He murmured as he continued touching her so delicately, that he could see her hands curling against the glass in frustration as he avoided the pressure he knew would make her body sing for him.

“I want you” she panted.

“Where?” he asked in a taunting tone.

Emma looked over her shoulder at him, her eyes flashing defiantly, and she lowered her leg off the bench to the ground. She grabbed the towel and left him there, and he cocked his head at her, as he watched her towel off.

“I didn’t say you could leave,” he said to her.

“I didn’t ask you to edge me as punishment,” she said and he could see her getting mad. On some level he wanted her mad, wanted her frustrated, to fuck their way through this, but he had to tread carefully with her right now, he could see the emotions flickering across her face. Anger, fear, anxiety, frustration.

He strode to her, pulling the towel gently from her and letting it pool on the floor. She said nothing, he gripped her hips, sliding his palms over her ass, and pulled her against him. Emma’s eyes were filled with fire when he looked into them.

“I am not punishing you, my love,” he said, nipping at her lip, sinking his teeth into it, his tongue running over it, and he felt her hands go to his chest, her nails scraping his skin.

Emma felt his fingers digging into her ass, hard enough to bruise her. He was pushing her towards something, but she didn’t know what it was yet. Killian had never used sex as a weapon or punishment, she trusted his instincts, to always show her love. But right now, his eyes were blazing with blue fire.

Emma took a deep breath, her body trembling. “I am desperate for you,” she whispered. “I need you to love me” she admitted feeling ashamed at her admission. Killian released her ass and his arms banded around her back lifting her, he walked her to the bed, and laid her down, stretching out on top of her.

“I do love you, more than anything Emma,” he said and kissed her hard. “I need you, I am just as desperate for you, to have you want me, to love me, to choose me,” he said and kissed her deeply. Emma moaned as he rubbed his cock through her folds, his hands tangled in her hair.

“I would do anything to have you be mine, give up everything for you. So long as you were mine, and only mine” he practically growled.

Emma’s mind was reeling too many thoughts, and his words, his hips driving her mad as they rubbed against her, her arousal skyrocketing.

“I am yours” she sighed, as he sucked a nipple into his mouth, taking a deep pull on it, making her back arch. “Just yours,” she said in a breathy cry, and he released her nosing at the opposite one, teasing it to a tight peak.

“Why won’t you make love to me?” She asked, and the tone of her voice sounded broken.

“I am. Focus on me, on us, what we are doing right now, in our bed. What do we always do in our bed? Tell me,” he said harshly, his eyes boring into hers as he hovered above her.

“Love. We always love each other” she said softly and he nodded.

“I am loving you, I am showing you I love you, only you. You are mine, and I am yours, whether I fuck you, make love slowly to you, or hold you, I am only ever showing you love Emma” and he guided himself inside of her, pushing the tip of his cock into her slowly.

Emma cried out, as he inched in, pumping in and out in shallow thrusts, preparing her to take him in. Her walls so tight and hot around him, he groaned at the intense feeling shooting up his spine, his heart hammering in his chest. Emma’s eyes squeezed shut at the intrusion, her breaths coming in short pants, ghosting over his lips. They snapped open the moment he was fully seated within her.

He snapped his hips and plunged into her as deep as he could in one stroke, filling her, stretching her, erasing every inch of space that she was feeling. His hands were everywhere. His skin touched every inch of hers that they could manage, and he never took his eyes off hers.

Every thrust, he never looked away, couldn’t look away. He kept his eyes on hers, forcing her to understand that he was hers, he wasn’t leaving, she owned him as much as he owned her. He pushed her legs wider apart, her hands clenched in the sheets, gripping them tightly.

Her green eyes sparkled with unshed tears, he leaned down to kiss her swollen lips. Their tongues tangled, sucking, and massaging each other’s so that they could hardly breathe. Emma felt like she was drowning, in pleasure, in him, in the feelings he was pouring into her with each thrust.

She locked her legs around his hips dragging him deeper inside, her arms around his neck hanging on as he fucked her hard, their moans and cries, skin slapping echoed through the empty loft.

Killian was reaching his breaking point, his release building quickly, and he wasn’t going over the edge without dragging her with him. He reached down, lightly rubbing the swollen nub, and Emma cried his name, her eyes snapped shut.

Emma was going to come, it was brewing hard inside of her, and it was going to tear through her, every roll of his hips, the tip of his cock rubbing so deeply inside of her, she closed her eyes at the onslaught of sensations, tensing around him. Her thighs trembled, and he wasn’t slowing down.

Emma’s nails were digging into his shoulders, almost painfully. He felt her clench down on him, her whimpers and moaning music to his ears, and the sensation of her squeezing his dick so tightly almost made him let go, but not without her. He changed angles, hitching her legs off his hips he pushed them to her chest and plunged in hard and fast, their headboard shook against the wall, banging against it with each thrust.

As soon as he pushed her legs to her chest, pushing in deeper than ever before, Emma screamed.

“Oh god” she chanted over and over as her orgasm rolled through her, and Killian roared as he spent himself inside of her, unable to hold it back any longer. His hands clasped around her wrists and he held them above her head pinning her still, as he emptied himself, nearly collapsing from the force of it.

Killian stayed hunched over her and pushed her legs down collapsing on her chest, releasing her hands as his heart pounded. Emma’s own heart was thudding beneath his ear while he felt her fingers sift through his hair lazily, both of them too tired to move yet.

He turned his head resting his chin on her chest. “Did I prove my point?” he asked with a light laugh, his chest still heaving and Emma huffed out a giggle and nodded.

He dipped his head down and kissed the skin over her heart. “I love you” she whispered, and he kissed her skin again in response. He pulled out of her slowly, and at this point didn’t care if the sheets got dirty. He pulled her into his chest, and they dozed off wrapped in each other.

Emma woke up, and glanced at the clock, it was nearly eight, she felt sticky, and went into the bathroom shutting the door. She used a washcloth and cleaned herself up, and tugged her robe on. She went to the kitchen where the stir fry had been long forgotten, but started the rice anyway, and heard the water run in the bathroom.

Killian came out in his sweats and grabbed a glass of water. He came to Emma and picked her up, setting her on the island and kissed her.

“Nice nap?” he asked her and she nodded, and hugged him.

“I have to work tomorrow, and I wanted to show you something,” she said and he nodded.

“Just to portland?” he asked and she nodded, sliding off the counter and grabbing the folded flyer out from under her laptop.

“I will do this job, and I am going to put in my notice, which leads me to the other thing I wanted to show you. But it can wait, it’s not important” she said, and he shook his head, plucking the paper from her fingers quickly. He opened it, and his eyes widened.

Emma blushed, watching him look it over.

“You want to buy a house?” he asked, kind of shocked. Emma shrugged.

“I thought we could look at it,” she said quietly. Killian could tell that she was holding something back.

“Talk to me Em, what is this about?” he asked.

Emma went to stir the stirfry that she was heating back up, placing the lid back over it.

“If I quit my job, and we want to buy it, I would have time to do stuff myself. I know it is a lot of work, but I thought you might like it. I ran past it, grabbed the flyer. I didn’t decide to buy a house without you, I just took the flyer, and I thought you might like the water being out your front door is all” she said and turned around, feeling her cheeks turn pink.

Killian looked at the paper, “This is Gold’s old house” he said. He read through it, it was a big house, a really big, old house. He thought about the ring he was about to buy, and a house wasn’t factored into that right now too. He needed to talk to August.

Emma leaned against the counter, “I would buy the house. In cash” she said, and Killian’s eyes went wide.

“What do you mean in cash? Who has that much cash in the bank? Do you even have a bank account?” he teased.

“August handles the money, I have it, I just never used it” she shrugged.

Killian’s head was spinning. “You just have 230 grand sitting in the bank?” he said skeptically. She shook her head.

“August handles it all, he invested everything we had ever earned aside from rent. He wanted us to be sure that we would never be poor or worry about money ever again, learned everything about stocks and that stuff, I have it, and probably the renovation costs too if I cashed some stuff out. I haven’t told him yet, but he sends me the statements” she said.

Killian leaned back, kind of shocked. “Em, you didn’t want to adopt a pet, two days ago you were hiding from me, and now you want to buy a house? I am just a little lost here, and the money thing, I don’t care about that. But a house, a big house is a huge step here, and that makes me nervous” he says honestly.

Emma nodded. “I know, I didn’t expect it. I just ran past it and poked around the yard looking at it. It was odd, I felt something I haven’t ever felt unless I was with you, or August” she said avoiding his eyes.

Killian stepped toward her and tipped her chin up, “and what is that, love?”

“Home. It felt like it could be a home, a real one” she whispered, and looked down almost seeming embarrassed. Killian wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her neck. He sighed.

“We can look at it, ok?” Make an appointment for the weekend, or when you get back from work, we have to go get your car this weekend too,” he said and she nodded.

“Do you think we will ever do things in a normal time frame?” She smiled at him.

He grinned back, “probably not. We are absolutely mad, but it’s ok. It is us.”

He went to her laptop and pulled the listing up, looking over some of the photos, the place needed a lot, but it had good bones, and he thought of Liam. When he walked into the shop which was a dump, he said it has good bones, and they built the business in it, the good bones holding it up.

He smiled as Emma slid a plate to him and grabbed her own, and they sat looking through the pictures. “It might have good bones, we will see. Just don’t get your hopes up ok?” he said and she nodded.

“So tell me about the skip tomorrow,” he asked her. She told him, it was a quick find she thought, a few hours, and she already tracked his debit card to three ATMs, so she had an idea of where he might be and who to lean on. He was overwhelmed but nodded.

“Are you sure you want to quit?” he asked her as they put fresh sheets on, and climbed into bed.

Emma looked at him, “Do you think I shouldn’t? I don’t have to. I just thought…” and Killian kissed her.

“That wasn’t what I asked Swan, or said. I said, are you sure you want to quit?” he said.

“I know I don’t want random trips out of town anymore. I know I want to be with you, and here would be easier. I don’t think or know if I want to work with Graham but it’s a job, and whatever, and I am sure August would give me work too, so I could do it from home but I would need an office area. We are just a little tight on space up here, so I could use the office downstairs and get a better door if the drills are going” she said.

He nodded, “Ok, as long as you know that I am not asking you to quit. I am not telling you to. I don’t mind that you aren’t chasing criminals anymore, but that it is your choice. It is always your choice,” he said and smoothed her curls back.

I know, she said, and he nodded, pulling her into his chest and stroking her arm.

“So a house, huh? I assume a dog? Anything else on that list you have in your head?” he mused.

Emma smiled against his chest, “Not yet” she said.

“That means that there is more, but just not yet?” he asked her, feeling a weird sense of hope flutter in his chest.

She nodded, “not yet,” she said and buried her cold feet between his calves making his whole body jerk.

He rolled out of bed. “That’s it, you are sleeping in socks from now until summer,” he said and pulled wool socks over her feet. He climbed back in and she curled in, kissing his jaw.

“Spoilsport” she teased.

“Aye, I am the spoilsport who doesn’t want frostbite,” he said and kissed her head turning out the light.

“Get some rest, I love you,” he said and she snugged in burrowing into his side.

“I love you too,” she said.

Emma got up and showered, grabbing her overnight bag hopefully for the last time in a long while, and Killian sent her out the door with a breakfast burrito and a kiss. She smiled and got in her car, making one last trek to Portland.

She dialed August, who picked up immediately.

“Hey sunshine, what’s up?” he said.

“How much do I have in the bank and stocks?” she asked, watching the traffic in front of her.

“Are you running somewhere?” He asked.

“No. But seriously, how much?” She heard him typing.

“How much do you need?” he asked.

“Probably 230. Maybe less, maybe more. Do I have that?” she asked.

August whistled. “You are being incredibly cryptic. You’re not asking for ten grand, so tell me why” he said.

She sighed, “a house. I’m considering buying one. Roots and all that,” she said.

He went quiet, and she heard more typing. “You’d have to cash in some stock, but you would still have a healthy portfolio even if we moved some stuff around. Do you want to buy a house? You were just considering leaving” he said pointedly.

“I didn’t run. I needed a breath, and you were right. I took that breath and put on my big girl panties, and now I am interested in a house August” she said irritatedly.

“I want to see it,” he said.

She sent him the link and waited.

“Wow. That’s a whole lot of house. Why is it so cheap, is that on the water?” he asked, and she heard clicking.

“It needs work. A lot of it. But if I can talk the owner down 30k, it could be a good investment once it was done,” she pointed out.

“Em, this place needs like everything from the looks of it. You’re sure?” he asked.

“I just had a feeling,” she said quietly.

“It felt like a home, didn’t it?” he asked.

Of course, he would understand. “Yeah, or the possibility of one. Holidays, and a bunch of things, just a feeling.”

He hummed. “Okay. Well, talk to the owner. See what she says, try to get her to 190. The roof alone will be 30k to replace, not to mention the new driveway, and probably pipes and electrical.”

Emma scoffed, “How do you know that?” she asked.

He laughed, “Emma you called me. I’m pulling permits and records on the house. It’s actually historical,” he said.

“Yeah, I don’t know. It’s just a thought” she said.

“Does Killian know?” he asked.

“Yeah, we talked about it a little. I just wanted to see it, if it was even reasonable, he agreed to look at it, mentioned good bones or something, but not to get my hopes up” she said.

He laughed. “Well, at least he is being smart. Good bones and everything” he said chuckling.

“I don’t know, it was just a question, could I afford it if I wanted it, I wasn’t sure how much liquid I had, I mean I see the statements but that doesn’t equal liquid cash,” she said.

“You lived like a fraternity kid for the last ten years, rarely splurging and I manage all of our money. If you want the house you can get it and not even touch Killian’s money. Did you show him your statement? Please tell me you didn’t” he said.

“No, I didn’t, your stuff is on it too. So no, of course not. Wait, you have access to his accounts?” she asked.

“Just his personal ones, I don’t look at them. But I offered him help a while back if he wanted to do stock options” he said.

Emma was surprised, and then she wasn’t. August made sure they would never be poor again. If the important person in her life was going to be permanent, August would ensure they wanted for nothing.

“I’m considering quitting my job, I am actually on my way to Portland now,” she said.

August went quiet and coughed. “What? Why? He didn’t ask you, did he?”

“No, no. I just did some thinking before the fight, it doesn’t really make me happy anymore. I hate being gone a lot, and I kind of hate not being here, and if I want to come to see you, or travel I want to just go and live that life you and I always talked about, ya know?”

“Ah. I see. Well, come work for me. Work from home, make your own hours, but don’t be the fucking deputy” he laughed.

“Hey! I didn’t accept the offer. I feel bad because he does need help, it’s a local dependable job” she argued.

“Don’t ever wear a uniform or I will disown you” he laughed. “Brown is not your color duckling.”

“Ugh, alright mom, I have to go. I am nearly there. I’ll call you after. Love you byeeeee” and hung up.

The moment Emma left the lot Killian called Marco.

“Hello, Marco? Killian Jones” he said.

“Ah, good morning my boy. I saw your response, but since you called I can walk you through it. Is it a safe time to speak?” he asked.

“Sure. Now is good” Killian said.

“The design itself is not troublesome, what size stone do you think?” he asked and Killian looked through his notes.

“between one and two carats, I think the round would look nice,” he said.

“That is a fine choice for Emma. Now, do you have a preference for the Diamond?” he asked.

“Marco, I don’t know anything about diamonds. What are my options? Killian asked.

“Well, a 1.5 carat Diamond, with almost perfect clarity can run quite a lot. But I did some digging around, and I would be able to get you an almost flawless diamond for around Sixteen thousand. I would take no fee because it is for Emma, it would be my pleasure and my gift to you both” he said.

“So the diamond, and what about the setting? What would it be?” he asked.

“Do you want platinum, white gold, yellow gold, or rose gold?” Marco asked, and Killian heard typing.

Killian pulled the picture up, “The photo is white gold” he said, and Marco went back to typing.

“I could do the design, with that stone, the sapphires are small, in white gold and it would total to around twenty-four thousand, waiving all of my fees and labor,” he said.

“Marco, that isn’t fair. You are making a ring” he said.

“I am making something special for a child I was lucky enough to have in my life when I had none of my own. I told you, my gift is to do this for Emma” he said.

Killian scratched behind his ear. “That is incredibly generous of you, but I need you to be sure, I want you to be absolutely sure, you run a business,” he said.

Marco hummed. “Fine, you can pay me one dollar for fees,” he said, sounding like he was smiling.

Killian laughed, “you are an amazing man Marco. One dollar, accepted.”

“When can I expect to see you?” Marco asked.

“Um, I can probably swing a trip sometime after the holidays. Can you email me updates or photos in the meantime” Killian asked, suddenly nervous.

“Of course. I will send you all the details and receipts and call my guy now” Marco said. “You will make her very happy Killian, I am glad for you both. Thank you for including me” he said.

Killian blushed, “thank you, Marco,” he said and the man hung up.

He felt a rush of relief, that was all done. They had plenty of time to figure it out until it was ready, and a year was more than enough time to be together before an engagement.

The house crossed his mind, and just what else might be on Emma’s mental list, but he wouldn’t push. They needed to talk more about all these thoughts he was having, but he needed to get his head out of the clouds and work so he could pay for this ring.

Billy and he cranked out 6 oil changes, two tune-ups, and rolled Ingrid’s truck into the shop when everything was in the lot for pickup.

They stood side by side and looked at it. Billy whistled, “this is going to be a lot of work,” he said, and Killian nodded.

He sat back on the stool and lit a smoke, and grabbed his clipboard. He had Billy crawl under and start calling out things, Killian made a list of parts, and figured out how to get this thing running.

He was grateful when his cell rang, and August’s name flashed.

"Hello August,” he said.

“Jones. You got a second?”

“Sure, one minute”, Killian went into the office closing the door. “What’s up?”

“You two are moving things along arent you?” He said cryptically.

Killian sighed. “Did you call to bust my balls because I am actually working.”

“No, just between Emma’s thoughts, and you, you two are like speed racers. What is the rush with you two?” He asked.

“What do you mean? Did she says something?” Killian got anxious.

“Listen, I think it’s time we do some investing on your part. Emma is covered, but let me play around a bit with yours, put you in our options, grow that little nest egg you are sitting on” August said and Killian heard typing.

“Are you looking at my bank account?” He demanded.

“No, no. But Emma mentioned the house, and I am sure you are already considering a ring, it would be a wise choice to start making some moves to build that egg, and lucky for you, I am good at it” August said.

He scratched behind his ear, nervous. “Aug I don’t know, I need cash right now, and this house, if she wants it…”

“Emma has the house covered Jones” August said like it was nothing.

“That isn’t right mate if we buy a house we buy it together” he protested.

“Well, I know you don’t love her for money, you didn’t even know she had any since she lived like a child. So just do me a favor and let her buy the house. You can pay her back by being wise, and investing smartly to protect the offspring you two will inevitably have with the rate you two go at each other” he said sounding like he was laughing

Killian almost dropped the phone, “Wait. Does Emma tell you about our sex life!”

“No, she doesn’t need to thank god. I can tell by looking at you two, easy Jones. Anyways let me make some moves, give me ten to play with. If I lose it, I will put it back. If I triple it, you can thank me and name your child after me” he said laughing.

Killian laughed too, “you want ten grand to play with, like monopoly? And if you lose it, you put it back out of your own money? Fine.”

“Excellent. I mean I could do twenty. You have over seventy in the savings…” August said like he was talking about pennies.

“August, get out of my account. Ten. Start there, if you do it, I will let you take over, but please get out of my account. Seriously” Killian said, growing agitated.

“Fine, fine. Scott! He said yes”, August called out. Killian groaned.

“Love you both, bye”, Killian said ending the call. God her brother was a pain the ass, he looked at the ceiling pinching the bridge of his nose, a pang of longing for his own brother crossing his heart.

He came out and Billy handed him a completed list. They rolled the whiteboard out, and Billy did a crude mock-up of the truck and began writing. He looked at the clock, it was nearing six.

“Hey man, head out, I will see you in the morning,” Killian said and Billy nodded, just as exhausted as he was.

Killian closed up and headed upstairs to shower. He charged his phone and she still had not called after the text of arriving.

He dialed her as he dressed. “Hey babe, call you back,” she said and hung up.

She sounded like she was running. He sat on the bed and rubbed his hands over his face, and pulled up the tracking app. He followed her, she was most definitely running or driving very fast, but he zoomed in, the dot stopped. He waited a few minutes watching it, still not moving.

What the fuck, he thought. His heart relaxed when he saw it move again, slowly, but it moved. She must have got him.

He waited another hour, and the phone rang. “Swan, are you ok?” he asked.

“Yeah, um I am going to be a little late,” she said.

“Oh, ok. But you are heading back?”

“Ouch” she bit out and he heard a male’s voice in the background.

“Swan? What is going on?” he asked standing.

“Um, he had a knife, ouch! And he cut my arm, I’m being stitched. Easy man, it isn’t falling off,“ she barked at the medic.

"I’m coming to get you,” he said pulling a shirt on, trying to find his jeans.

“No, no. Seriously ill send you a photo, it isn’t bad, it was just a weird angle that caught me. I am ok, really. I turned him in, and tomorrow I am sending in my notice, I just wanted to get paid.”

“ You really decided to go out with a bang huh?” He said completely unamused.

Emma sighed, “I have had worse, I am ok. Hey, are you done? Can I go? Alright, babe, I am done. I will be out of here in a few and heading home. See you in like two hours or so.”

“Ok, just please be safe,” he said feeling defeated and anxiety building.

“I will. Killian, I love you” she said quickly.

He smiled, “I love you more than anything, one piece Swan. Not tiny pieces, not cut pieces. One whole piece,” he said.

“Aye Aye Captain,” she said and cut the call off.

He smiled and climbed into bed. He turned the laptop on and put on a movie, they needed a tv for in here, seriously.

He went on amazon and ordered a small one and a wall mounting kit.

He woke up when he heard the door shut. Emma came in quietly and went into the bathroom, and the shower turned on. He heard her wince, and was at the door knocking a second later.

“Em, open up,” he said through the door.

She opened the door, looking a bit worse for wear. “Sorry,” she apologized. “I need to shower.”

Killian walked in and took a look at her outstretched arm. It was a nasty gash.

“Do you need help?” He asked, and she shook her head.

“I’ll be out in a few, sorry I woke you up.”

Emma held her arm out of the spray and washed the night off of her. She came out and Killian had Tylenol and a glass of water on her nightstand as he sat and waited for her.

She pulled on a flannel of his and crawled into bed, and he propped her arm up on some extra pillows.

“Thanks,” she said. “I am sorry.”

“Well, we got roughly 5 months in with you unscathed, and if this is your last one, then I say you did alright,” and kissed her forehead.

She nodded and was grateful it was her left arm and not her right. She yawned, and Killian tucked her damp curls behind her ear, and snuggled in closer to her, wrapping his hand around her good one as they fell asleep.

Killian got up with the sun, watching Emma sound asleep. He took in her golden curls in the morning light, her dark lashes on the apples of her cheeks. The dusting of freckles coating her nose. He just soaked her in, completely at peace.

“You’re watching me sleep again, Jones. It’s weird,” she mumbled with a small smile and snuggled into his chest.

He smiled and held her as best as he could without moving her arm. She would need Tylenol, he waited a few minutes before he headed to the kitchen and got everything, laying it on her nightstand. He kissed her cheek and headed down to the shop buttoning his coveralls.

He rolled the garage door up, and lit a smoke, grabbing the list they had started and placed an order for the parts they knew so far, getting a head start.

He grabbed the creeper and had just slid under the car when he heard Emma scream.

He bolted up the stairs and ran to the bathroom, “Emma!” He called and opened the door.

“I popped a stitch. Do you have a thread or a kit? She asked, and he nodded, taking in the blood soaking through the cloth she had against it.

"Babe it’s just a stitch, hurry” she pleaded and he ran down the stairs grabbing the red box.

He ran in and opened it on the counter, searching for the sutures. He found the steri strips and pulled them out, tearing one off.

He took her arm and he pulled the cloth away, Emma winced. He held her arm up above her head for a few seconds, and quickly pulled it down, securing her skin and adding a second for good measure.

Emma watched how quickly he worked, with soft touches. She smiled as he finished. “ Thank you,” she said and kissed him.

He nodded, do you need anything else? He asked, gazing at her softly. Emma shook her head.

Killian nodded and washed the blood off his hands. “I’ll be right downstairs if you need help.”

Emma kissed him and he headed down the hall. She finished brushing her teeth and pulled leggings on. She went to her laptop, popped it open, and dialed her boss.

After a long discussion, she gave her resignation. Her boss was a little pissed but she said after last night, her decision was made. She recommended two people she knew in Boston who did side work, and he appreciated it. She thanked him and ended the call.

She saw a missed text from August but it could wait. She shot a photo and sent it saying she would call later.

She called the number on the flyer, and spoke to a woman named Astrid, setting a viewing of the house up for tomorrow at lunchtime, and that was set.

She looked around the loft, if they bought a house what would they do with the space? Maybe Killian would want to rent it, extra income would be nice.

She slid on shoes and made her way downstairs, there was no way she could box, so she took a look at the whiteboard.

Billy slid out on the creeper and waved, Killian on the phone in the office. He came out a minute later with a sheet and taped it on the board.

“Hi, you ok,?” He asked.

Emma nodded and looked at the behemoth sitting on the lift. “Ingrids?” She asked and Killian nodded.

“Do you need help? I can order parts if you give me a list” she offered and he smiled.

“I just finished, go lay down,” he said. Emma sighed and nodded.

“Oh, tomorrow at 11, the house tour,” she said and he smiled at her.

She grabbed a book and went to sit on her chair, and grabbed her phone. She looked at couches, she bookmarked a few to show Killian, and when he came up for lunch, she began showing him the couches while he ate.

They agreed on one, and she ordered it. She looked around and decided with Halloween approaching, some decorations were needed. She ordered some and realized her birthday was now weeks away.

She booked that little place in Vermont for the week she had planned on and smiled. She was restless, so she went downstairs again, deciding on a walk. Killian nodded, and she headed out.

She walked the whole town and came across a little hair salon. She walked in, and made an appointment for herself, and headed home. She decided to establish an OB and a new doctor here, and she needed a dentist too. She completed her paperwork to include Killian as her contact first and August second for the first time ever.

When Killian finally headed up, Emma was asleep on the couch, a book laying on the floor. He smiled and snapped a photo, tucked it away, and called in Chinese before he hopped in the shower.

Emma woke up and the buzzer was going off. She looked around disoriented and headed down signing for the food. She popped some of the painkillers the doctor gave her and cleaned the cut.

Killian came out in his sweats and plated dinner up. She told him what she did, and he smiled.

“I’ve never put anyone else as an emergency contact besides August. It’s a big deal, and don’t tell him” she warned and he laughed.

Killian told her about August’s financial game, and she smiled.

“Babe, you don’t have to do that. I have enough if we want the house” she said.

He nodded, “well how about the car. Still a go?” He asked and she nodded. “Have you thought about what you want to do yet?” He asked.

Emma shook her head, “a break. Oh! I got the Vermont house booked for next month too” she said and he smiled nodding as she told him all the little details.

They curled up on the couches, and he decided to bring up those pesky thoughts. “Swan?”

“Hmm”

“Do you want kids someday?” He asked.

Emma’s mouth went dry. Not sure what he was meaning. “Like kids, plural?” She asked.

“Aye,” he said back amused.

“I’ve considered it, if it were the right time, right person…” she said.

She looked up at him, eyes searching his. “Do you?”

Killian nodded at her “Someday I do, very much,” he said.

“Ok,” she said smiling, and he kissed her hair and pictured a tiny blonde girl with blue-green eyes, a pregnant Emma, a family. He was really happy he called Marco.

Killian heard the door buzz and went down to the door. An amazon truck was there and the guy handed him his TV. He thanked him and headed upstairs, and Emma was already in bed.

“What is that?” She asked, her eyes widening at the sight of the box.

“A TV for in here,” he said tilting the box.

Emma laughed, “as if we need another reason to not leave our bed” she giggled. He winked at her and proceeded to unpack the TV, setting it up on the dresser for now, and sat on the edge of the bed setting the remote up. He finally crawled under the covers and Emma was sound asleep.

He smiled, turned on a movie on low, and set the timer. He fell asleep thinking about blonde-haired babies and Emma in a white dress.

@sailtoafarawayland @omgmarvelous

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#emma swan #killian jones #storybrooke #ouat #ouat au #once upon a time

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tae-cup · 4 years

Text

Fragments of Lace and Ribbon | PJM

Pairing: Park Jimin x Reader

Summary: You don’t remember much, but you remember them...

Genre: Choose your own adventure, amnesia au, fluff

Warnings: N/A

Rating: PG

Word Count: 3k Words

A/N: Forgive me for not having a dancing bone in my body

Header by the talented and amazing @dnrequests

Timeline Place: 2

Other:

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

The sweat rolled down your cheek, raced across your neck, and fell to the ground with the grace of a cheetah. Or perhaps a swan would be a better analogy here. Lisa, the choreographer, clapped her hands together, a tight lipped smile on her face. You hesitantly stepped off the raised platform. Jimin stepped around from it as well.

“No, no, no, you guys need to be able to capture the emotions of this scene.” Lisa snapped, massaging the crease between her brows.

“Listen, this scene is where, for the first time, the black swan trusts her lover enough to let herself fall. Yes, it’s a metaphor, yadah yadah, that doesn’t matter.” The woman sighed. “Come on, just get it together.”

“I can’t help it, I’m nervous. You’re asking us to do a trust fall on stage. How do I know he’ll be there to catch me.” You whispered softly.

“Is that not the point of a trust fall, Y/N?” Lisa snapped shut her notebook and shouldered her bag.

“Class dismissed, don’t forget to stretch.” Then the teacher turned to you with a sour expression. “Really, Y/N, it’s not that bad.”

You just dipped your head, not one to argue with the teacher. A warm hand landed on your shoulder and you jumped, having forgotten you were not alone. Also, Jimin was known for moving rather quietly. The other students were stretching and packing up.

“Can you help me stretch?” He asked, his voice sweet and soft. Jimin was always soft.

“Yeah, sure.” You quickly agreed, following him to an open space. He stretched out his legs in front of him and you pressed on his back. He groaned in relief.

“That’s good, thanks.” He praised you, making your stomach flip for an unknown reason. You pressed a little harder and he released a long breath.

You were busy thinking about the routine in your head. You needed to leap onto the raised part of the stage, Jimin trailing behind, and fall backwards, trusting he’d be there. The problem? You didn’t trust him. It wasn’t that he was a bad dude or anything, you just didn’t really...understand him.

“You can trust me, Y/N.” He said softly as you readjusted your position. His words pulled you from your thoughts.

“I know.” you answered hesitantly. He seemed pleased with that and slowly stood up. You eased off his back.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N. Take care.” The man smiled sweetly and shouldered his bag, exiting the room.

“5, 6, 7, 8,” Lisa clapped to the beat. Her shouts were drowned out as you focused on the routine. You knew your routine, you just hoped Jimin did as well.

You leapt onto the raised platform, the heat of the lights beating onto your sweaty forehead. A few wisps of hair curled onto your forehead. You did a pirouette and then sharply inhaled. You better be there. You thought to yourself as you pretended to lose balance.

You gracefully tipped backwards at the other end of the platform, only to yelp in surprise. The music cut and, in a daze, you slowly sat up. You had fallen. Well, not really. Jimin was uselessly holding onto your arm, just a few moments too late.

You blinked a few times, seeing his face peer into your peripheral.

“Oh my god, are you okay? I’m so sorry.” He sputtered. “I’ll practice it more. I swear you won’t be dropped again!”

Your eyes scanned his distraught expression and you decided to forgive him, though the seed of doubt had been planted. Lisa was calling for a water bottle and to turn down the lights, probably thinking you were a little out of it.

In contrast, you were wide awake, alert, and aware of yourself. Could you trust him to catch you? The thought was swallowed and rested uncomfortably in the pit of your stomach.

“It’s fine, Jimin, just practice.” You said lightly, standing up and dusting off your tights. “But seriously, work on it. It could cause some serious issues later.” You tried to say as nice as possible, but he got the message.

If you were injured, there was no way you could major in dance. It was like how when you seriously break a bone and it’s never quite the same. Your art required it to be the same.

The performing arts had always been your dream once you had gone to college and you were thankful for the scholarship considering your awful grades. A twinge of melancholy pricked at the back of your mind. Namjoon and you hadn’t exactly worked out once college forced you your separate ways.

It never would’ve worked anyway. You had long since gotten over him and you were friendly, but, like a broken bone, it would never quite be the same. You just tried to ignore the same flutter of excitement that Jimin gave you. But trust was important and right now, it just wasn’t there.

Jimin was a nice boy, you had seen him around. He was always the one to hold open the door, help you carry things when your hands were full, and the first to check in if you seemed gloomy.

He was a perfect angel. So you just had to trust that he could execute. Lisa rushed over with a water bottle, but upon finding you standing upright and looking only a little startled, she calmed down significantly.

“You guys should practice this move outside of class.” She instructed. “I’ll leave the keys in my office. Please just practice it, otherwise you’re going to give me a panic attack on stage.”

“Can’t we just...change it?” You suggested sheepishly. The woman looked appalled.

“No way, Y/N.” She said firmly. “I know it’s tough, but this is a good challenge. Besides, this is the most important part of the show.”

She continued on her rant and you didn’t want to interrupt so you stood quietly, nodding to her points.

“So, you see why you need to do this?”

“Yes, ma’am.” You dipped your head, having tuned out long ago.

Her hand landed softly on her shoulder. Her face was gentle, kind. She understood your hesitation.

“Hey, don’t worry about it. I wouldn’t have casted you if I didn’t think you could do it.” She said quietly and your pride swelled. With a proud smile, you watched her walk off to critique the others.

“Wanna continue working?” Jimin’s soft voice said. You turned, having almost forgotten he was there. You nodded.

“Yeah. Let’s get this thing down.”

You collapsed to the wooden floor, exhausted and disappointed in your lack of progress. So far, you’d practiced the same thing about 20 times. 10 of those he was too early, you were, sadly for your bottom, dropped five times and you had only managed to execute it five more times.

It wouldn’t be so worrying if those five times that worked were all together and at the end. Alas, they were spread out between your attempts and it felt like a guess and check sort of method. It was like you were gambling and Jimin was an elusive object, an uncertainty.

You wanted it to work so bad, you had no idea what had gotten into him. He was usually so level headed, picking up moves faster than you could even imagine. And yet, you were starting to lose faith, beginning to check if he would be there in time when you ran it through. Here he was now, collapsed on the ground beside you.

“I don’t know what’s going wrong.” He started after catching his breath.

There was a long pause, his voice bouncing off the walls. Your eyes remained trained on the white concrete ceiling. After a taxing day at practice, you often found your mind numb and incapable of forming coherent sentences. As frustrated as you were with him, it wasn’t like you could force him to be on time like a puppet master.

“Uh huh.” You drawled, taking a deep breath as you felt your adrenaline fading.

It was after dark, the fluorescent lights of the studio seeming just a little too bright. Your internal clock was fucked, especially considering the lack of windows.

“You alright? I’m sorry I dropped you, I swear I’ll continue practicing.”

“Continue practicing?” You sit up, running a hand through your sweaty hair. “Park Jimin, you’ve practiced a ton, with me and without me, we both know it.”

You took his silence as defeat. Jimin was the kind of person that worked until they dropped or their body gave in. He was a perfectionist, you could tell simply from observing him in class. So that got you thinking about...what if the issue laid within you? What if he was off because you were off?

There was also the possibility that you were messing with his timing by doing something off and he was worried about dropping you. You massaged the crease between your brows.

“Jimin, I think the issue lies inside your head.” You said. Then you groaned at the implication. “I mean, I just think you’re psyching yourself out. You can trust me to keep time, just focus on yourself.”

Jimin sat up as well. You both faced the mirror. You saw your sweaty and disheveled reflection, wincing at how messy you looked. His hair was sticking to his forehead and slicked at the sides with glistening sweat.

Yeah, you both looked horrid, but together you made quite the picture. You smiled a little at the thought and maintained eye contact with yourself in the mirror. In your peripheral, you saw him glance at your reflection.

“I know.” He said softly, steepling his fingers. He rested his elbows on his knees and remained looking in deep thought. “I don’t know, Y/N, I’m scared of letting you fall.”

“Then don’t.” You answered quickly.

Then you sighed and your eyes flicked to his in the mirror.

“I trust that you won’t let me fall. You don’t have anything to prove. Anyway, you’ve already dropped me like ten times...what harm can ten more do? As long as it’s not the performance, I’m fine with it.”

He nodded, rubbing at his forehead angrily. Jimin took in a shaky breath, feeling his eyes water a little.

“Why am I like this?” He said miserably. You remained silent.

“I don’t understand why I can’t just get it right. It’s not even that hard.” He whispered, his voice barely audible. The static of the room was suffocating, the air stale.

“Sometimes perfection is in the imperfections.” You said softly.

Your hand left your side and instead reached out to rub his back. You felt the heaving of his chest and the stutters of his breath.

You closed your eyes for a moment, thinking back to your practice. Yeah, it had been hard, even annoying, not knowing if he would catch you, but there had been little moments you could appreciate.

The brush of his skin on yours, the soft and apologetic smiles, the laugh that rang like a sweet bell. You had a lot to be thankful for in this practice. You got to see how Jimin worked, the way his brain behaved. There must be something that wasn’t clicking. You both knew that he was capable, more than capable.

You opened your eyes, letting your gaze move to him. He was still pulling himself together. Now, you had seen, quite literally, blood, sweat, and tears, shed in this dance room. You shifted to your side slightly and gently tugged him into a hug. He didn’t resist.

You held him for what felt like ages. The warmth of his body flush up against yours made your temperature rise. The room felt like it was getting hotter, but you knew it was just that he was clutching onto you like you were his last hope.

“Jimin, you’ve got to cut yourself some slack. Take it easy, okay love?” You said tenderly. “I’ll figure it out, just leave it to me.”

You listened to the music again, and once again, you were thrown off. You were sure you had figured out the issue, but you needed to double check. Again, the question of why would this throw off such a seasoned dancer? Came to mind. But, everyone had their weakness. You wrote down a few notes and then called up Jimin.

He picked up on the first ring.

“Yeah?”

“I think I may have figured out our small issue.”

“Oh?”

“Practice room A, 6:00 P.M.”

“Great, see you then.”

You paced, playing the music once more. Jimin sat on the wooden floor, his legs crossed and head tilted curiously. You paused the music that pulsed through the speakers.

“Do you hear it?” You demanded.

He just quirked an eyebrow, looking at you like you were a mad woman. And in his defense, it did look like that.

Your hair was a mess, strands flying in every direction, as you spoke to him. Your eyes were wide and alight, having figured out the issue. He slowly shook his head, watching your face turn to a scowl.

“Okay, well, here’s the issue,” You sniffed, placing your hands on your hips. “The time signature.”

He didn’t seem convinced so you continued on. You waved your hands like mad and in all honesty, it had been a while since you slept. You had always had awful time management skills.

“It’s in a 5/4 time signature, but your brain is trying to compensate by moving to what feels right; 4/4 or some multiple of two.” You explained. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice before.” You huffed, stopping your wild pacing to get a good look at his face.

The room was dimly lit after you burst in, complaining about the horrendous lighting first thing. He watched you, amused, but also his eyes alight with the epiphany.

“Wow! You’re a genius, I have no idea why I didn’t notice before!” He leapt to his feet and scooped you into an unexpected hug. You refused to let your cheeks heat up, but your heart was beating like crazy.

“Ah, it’s not a problem, you would’ve figured it out.” You said sheepishly. “You can...put me down now.”

“Oh...right.” He awkwardly cleared his throat, setting you down. “I don’t know, Y/N, you’re smart and I had...other things on my mind that distracted me.” He said vaguely, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Do I want to know?”

“You’ll find out.” His angelic face morphed into a sinful grin. You playfully shoved him, resulting in his overexaggerated protests.

“You’re such a dummy.” You chided, waltzing over to the ipod. “Now, let’s run it again.”

God, why were you sweating so much? Why were you so nervous? You had practiced the routines a million times, every step was memorized, every beat was ingrained in your very being.

There was no way in hell you should be getting stage fright. The applause of the crowd gave you pause, your heart leaping into your throat as the overture began. Lisa appeared on stage, giving a few words.

The Black Swan was a new performance, a spin on the classics.

Dressed in an inky black top with satin shorts, the swan makes her first appearance. In the kingdom of white swans, she is scorned, tossed aside. Her feathers are dirtied, her pride wounded.

You spun, extending your hands, letting the movement flow from your fingertips to the ceiling.

The swan comes across a large puddle of white clay one day, and in a desperate cry of anguish, slathers herself with the white clay, staining her feathers an angelic white, just like her peers. She’s considered beautiful, taken in by the villagers, who do not recognize it is her, and presented to the prince.

You curtseyed as the prince made his solo entrance.

The prince takes a liking to the white swan, yet every day leading up to the wedding, she must awake early and leave to cover herself in the clay. She can feel her facade crackling.

One day, she sneaks away, days before the wedding, and runs into another black swan.

Jimin appears on stage, leaping his way into the bushes and rolling in the metaphorical clay. He gingerly watches you.

She drops her handful of clay, surprised to see another black swan.

Day after day, long after the wedding, she returns to the puddle. And day after day, he greets her until she feels herself falling. The black swan is unsure of how to continue living her lie.

The two get into a disagreement. He protests, claiming he would love her with all his heart, the color of her feathers does not bother him. She calls him a liar and runs away, unable to allow him to see her vulnerable.

Again, the next day, they argue. The black swan cries, throwing herself into the clay to hide herself. He reaches out for her, she pulls away.

You ran around the raised platform, dread building. Yes, you were out of breath and running on fumes as the climax of the performance began, but you were more concerned about the trust fall.

Could you trust him? Your brain said no, your gut said yes.

The man reassures her that she should love herself, she should let herself be like him, be with him.

The music crescendos, building and sweeping the audience up in its loving arms. The suspense continues to a dizzying climax, the strings falling down the scale as you spun onto the platform.

You listened to your gut, taking a deep breath, and tipping backwards.

The swan falls into her lover’s arms, confessing herself, opening herself up to him.

You stared up at him. The bright lights casted a shadow over his beautiful features, but you could feel the rise and fall of his chest. His sparkling eyes peered into yours.

The swan is no longer alone. The swan has been caught and she can finally breathe easy. The worst is over, now it’s time to let her true colors show.

Want to try another path?

Go Back To The Beginning

#bts #bts x reader #fluff #Park Jimin #Jimin #Jimin x reader #PJM #PJM x reader #dancer!au #fragments of you #choose your own adventure #non idol au #amnesia au #PG #castlebangtan #bangtanuniversity #ficswithluv

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starmakerdotcom · 4 years

Text

summary : it took a whole month for milo to realize that maybe dating a fan you meet out in public isn’t the best idea he’s ever had.

characters : zhao honghui , jung yeonwoo , lee hayoon , some of solar ensemble are mentioned

genre : fluffy at the start but it gets more angsty near the end

warnings : swearing , talk of sex , they do fuck but i ended up not including the smut , lowkey manipulation if you squint , overall this is what not to do if you have an idol bf

words : 3.9k

[ february 20th, 2020, smk building cafe ]

“so... remember when we were at the airport last week when our flight was delayed?”

“yeah, what about it?”

honghui fiddled with the straw in his drink, watching the liquid swirl around as he tried to properly string his words together, “uh- basically i- i kinda met a girl?”

yeonwoo nearly choked on her drink.

“pfft- how on earth did you meet a girl at the airport for the hour we were separated?”

“did you not see the vlog from that day?”

“who are you kidding? i don’t watch our vlogs.”

“i-“ honghui chuckled, “it sounds so weird. so when i took minjae and jihoon with me to get a snack-“

“and you brought me back a cold coffee.”

“yeah. anyways, this girl- hayoon- was working at the counter, and she recognized me. she said something like, ‘are you milo from solar?’ i said, ‘yep, i am!’ and she started talking about how big of a fan she was, which was cool because we don’t meet many fans out and about like that.”

yeonwoo hummed, running her thumb down the side of her glass, leaving a dry stripe down the center of the condensation build. “so...? don’t stop there, tell me more!”

honghui nodded hastily, “yeah, we actually talked for a few minutes while my drinks and stuff were getting made, and we got along really well. she ended up slipping me her phone number with the order. we haven’t texted much but i have her instagram.”

“you’ve gotta talk to her!” yeonwoo exclaimed, slamming her hand on the table with each syllable for emphasis, “she seems sweet, shoot your shot dude.”

“shoot my-? nevermind. maybe i’ll find time to talk to her when promotions end, i’m a little busy right now,” honghui said, “i mean, we’re all a little busy.”

“you’d better.”

“i will!” honghui exclaimed, slightly taken aback by yeonwoo’s pushiness.

[ april 1st, 2020, solar dorms ]

the only light in the room was coming from honghui’s phone screen, the brightness fully down but somehow still too bright. it may have been the middle of the night, but promotions had just ended and he was texting with hayoon. well, more specifically he sent hayoon a text fifteen minutes prior and was nervously anticipating her reply. which had yet to come.

[ honghui : hey hayoon! just thought i’d say hi because promotions are over now and i have a bit of a break to talk :) ]

sent at 12:03 am

honghui sighed dramatically, then paused hearing minjae stir on the top bunk of the other bed. he forgot it was the middle of the night and people were actually sleeping.

he was so caught off guard by minjae that he didn’t even realize for a few seconds that his phone had buzzed.

[ new message from : lee hayoon ]

[ lee hayoon : hi milo! what’s up? ]

he swore the room got a few degrees warmer.

honghui quickly typed a message back, subconsciously bouncing his foot under the cover out of what was most likely nervousness, excitement, anticipation, who knows.

[ honghui : just wondering what you’re up to ]

[ lee hayoon : well, right now i’m getting ready for bed because it’s late. why aren’t you asleep? ]

[ honghui : i don’t know, if you want to go to sleep though i’ll let you ]

[ lee hayoon : it’s fine! i don’t mind talking for a while ]

[ honghui : are you sure? i don’t want to keep you up too late, i’ve got nothing going on tomorrow but i don’t know about you ]

[ lee hayoon : you’re so cute. it’s fine, i’m serious! ]

honghui felt his chest swell, as well as a strong urge to squeal into his pillow. but he didn’t, because that’s weird, and there were people sleeping a few feet away from him. a cute girl called him cute, and that absolutely made his heart melt.

he kinda lost track of time texting her. before he knew it, it was suddenly 2am and they had plans to hang out that friday. he could barely keep his eyes open.

[ honghui : i’m about to pass out. want to continue talking tomorrow? ]

[ lee hayoon : of course! goodnight :) ]

after reading her final message, honghui shut his phone off and turned over, smiling to himself. he’d consider that to be a pretty good night.

[ april 3rd, 2020, a random street corner ]

honghui stared at his phone eagerly, waiting for hayoon to say she was around the corner. they had decided to meet up and walk to the park nearby, where a couple of her friends might join her later that day. he was hesitant to this idea at first, but hayoon assured him everything would be fine. he was in such a good mood though that he didn’t let it bother him, not even the loud incessant honking of vehicles going down the street or the rather smelly dumpster in an alley behind him would dare taint his good mood.

suddenly his phone dinged, and he looked down to see a text from hayoon.

[ lee hayoon : i’m right around the corner! are you here yet? ]

honghui smiled excitedly before typing a message back.

[ honghui : yep! i’m wearing a long coat and a bucket hat lol ]

just then, a girl in a cute sporty jacket and chunky white sneakers walked around the corner and looked at him. it was hayoon, obviously, with her hands in her pockets and a big smile on her face.

“hi milo!” she said, waving excitedly at him. one of the first things he noticed about her was how short she was, not that that was a turn off or anything, but he had a good eight inches on her with her shoes on, he suspected she’d be about yongmi’s height without them, maybe shorter. it was cute.

“hi!” he said back, “you don’t need to call me milo by the way, my real name is fine.”

hayoon giggled nervously, “i totally would, i’m just really bad at pronouncing chinese words and names.”

“would calling me hyunsu make it easier? it’s my korean name, i don’t mind.”

hayoon nodded, smiling, “that works a lot better, i’ll remember that.”

as they walked to the park, they struck up friendly conversation with each other, hayoon told honghui about her new job at a cafe her aunt owns, and how she quit her job at the airport cafe because the transportation was too much of a hassle. honghui answered some questions she had about what being an idol is really like, and how their living situation is and all that. he was really starting to like her, she was cute, sweet, and fun to talk to.

eventually they got to the park, there wasn’t a lot there, but it was peaceful. it had a sort of serene vibe, an oasis within the concrete walls of the city.

they found a bench to sit down on which they stayed on for a while, continuing their conversations from the way over there. honghui never thought he’d learn so much about someone in a few hours, but by the time they were done, he knew the exact ages of her parents and siblings, he knew she had a tank of five fish each named after one of her favourite foods, he knew that she counted the stars through her window every night to help her fall asleep.

eventually, hayoon ran into a few of her friends while they walked around the park, and she introduced him as “her celebrity friend”. he thought that was... odd, but he didn’t say anything. they were nice enough, they asked him lots of questions about what it’s like being an idol, and he answered what he was allowed to. but before he knew it, the air was chillier and the sun was sinking down lower in the sky, giving him a signal that he probably should’ve gone back already.

as the candy floss clouds bled into the sunset, honghui bid his temporary goodbyes to hayoon and her friends, promising that they’d meet up again that weekend.

“so, i’ll see you again this weekend, right?” hayoon asked.

“definitely,” honghui replied, smiling softly with pink cheeks.

[ april 11th, 2020, hayoon’s living room ]

it didn’t feel like it had only been a week since the first time honghui and hayoon actually started hanging out.

this was officially their fifth “date”, and they had been texting 24/7, or at least it felt like they were. things were moving really fast. the first two times, they were out in public, but then their time time hanging out, hayoon took honghui to her apartment after he had come to visit her while she was working. she still lived with her mother, she was only 20 after all, and she was gonna start school soon and couldn’t afford to live on her own. her mother was out late working most nights though, so honghui never saw her.

this time, they were at her apartment, sitting in her living room watching a show. the heat wasn’t up far enough and both of them didn’t wanna get up to turn it off so hayoon resorted to cuddling up close next to honghui under their blanket, which made his heart race faster than he’d like to admit.

he really liked her, he’d already admitted that to himself, he’d also admitted it to yeonwoo right before he left that day. he could hear her voice ringing in her ears, saying, “tell her! you’ve got nothing to lose! she’s clearly interested in you.” maybe she was right.

“uh- hayoon?” he blurted out suddenly.

she looked over at him, “what’s up hyunie?” right. she had a nickname for him. maybe yeonwoo was right.

“i- uh-“ he started, trying to properly string his words together, but not getting far.

she smiled, chuckling slightly, “you what? spit it out! what do you-“

“i really like you.”

hayoon stared silently at honghui, which didn’t make him feel any better.

“oh god, sorry, that was sudden,” honghui replied quickly, his cheeks reddening, “it’s only been a week, i know, if you don’t feel the same i underst-“

hayoon cut off honghui’s rambling by sealing the gap between their lips, pressing hers against his. honghui didn’t know how to react at first, but soon sighed and relaxed into the kiss. the kiss was timid from honghui’s end, while hayoon smiled into the kiss before slowly pulling away.

honghui stared at her, dumbfounded, “so... is that a yes?”

hayoon laughed, “you’re so cute. and now i can tell people i kissed a celebrity.” honghui laughed along with that, but the laugh wasn’t as genuine as he thought it’d be.

[ april 13th, 2020, solar dorms ]

“you did WHAT?!”

“it all happened so fast! i- we just-“ honghui stumbled through his words, trying to make sense of everything that happened the previous night.

yeonwoo, who sat at the other end of the couch he was on, sighed, “that was a bit of an overreaction. i just can’t believe you lost your virginity before- literally anyone in this group who hasn’t lost their virginity yet!”

“i- don’t say it like that!” honghui’s cheeks burned as yeonwoo laughed, “it just happened, one thing led to another, you know, isn’t that how it usually goes?”

he couldn’t believe he lost his virginity to hayoon. the night after they first kissed, he visited her again, they watched their show again, and somewhere in there they kissed again. somehow that led to them making out, and then somehow that led to hayoon taking her shirt off, and somehow that led to them fucking. like he said, it all went by really fast.

“i can’t believe this.” yeonwoo groaned, “it’s been just over a week!”

“me neither,” she raised her eyebrows at honghui, “i didn’t expect us to go that far in the first place. but we did. and now i’ve lost my virginity to a fan i met at a damn airport.”

yeonwoo knitted her eyebrows together, “so... does this mean you two are a thing now?”

“i-“ he paused. were they a thing? he had no idea, they hadn’t had a serious conversation about it- at all.

“i don’t know,” honghui said finally, “we haven’t put a label on it, i guess.”

“are you going to?”

he shrugged, “maybe, we’ll see where it goes.”

yeonwoo sighed, looking at the ground, “how did you lose your virginity before me?” she laughed, lightly kicking honghui in the shin, to which he just shrugged in response, his cheeks burning a bright shade of vermillion.

[ april 19th, 2020, hayoon’s work ]

honghui officially had a girlfriend, and her name was lee hayoon.

they made it official the day after honghui had that talk with yeonwoo. he met up with hayoon and they talked about what they were, and since then, they’ve officially been boyfriend and girlfriend. so far, hayoon had been nothing but good to honghui, aside from all the “i’m dating a celebrity” jokes, which honghui found slightly obnoxious, but he chose to ignore it, because he liked her.

the cafe was relatively empty that time of day, so he found himself a table near the front door to sit down at and to wait for hayoon to finish her shift. he couldn’t see out the window well due to the building condensation, but it was overcast, and it had been raining most of the day. but today, instead of the gloomy weather reflecting his mood, honghui was feeling pretty good that day, he’d had a good three weeks, and he couldn’t see anything changing that.

when he saw hayoon emerge from the employee’s room, he stood up to greet her, but as he was about to walk over to her, the door opened. he looked over to see a small group of girls walking in, who hayoon obviously recognized, because she waved to them excitedly when they walked in.

more of her friends.

honghui sighed softly, he liked it better when they spent time together alone, but hayoon always had her friends around her. he knew her as a very social person, so he never thought much of it, but she didn’t seem to be with her friends a whole lot outside of when they hung out. it felt like almost every date now there was at least one of her friends present in some way.

he wasn’t one to protest though, so he kept silent on the issue.

“hi guys!” hayoon exclaimed as she walked over to the area where they all stood, reaching up to placing a hand on his shoulder. “hi hyunie,” she whispered, standing on the tips of her toes to try and kiss his cheek. he was so much taller than her that he had to lean down so she could reach his cheek.

“hi,” he whispered through gritted teeth.

[ april 24th, 2020, hayoon’s work ]

honghui opened the door to the cafe very slowly, seeing hayoon behind the counter with her back turned to him. with a small bouquet of flowers in his hand and a grin on his face, he snuck up to the counter to surprise her. before he came to visit her, he visited a nearby flower shop and picked up a small bouquet for her, no occasion in particular, he just felt like giving her something.

he paused when he realized she was talking on the phone to someone. now, he was never a nosy person, but he couldn’t help but eavesdrop a little on the conversation she was having.

“no, not today... yeah, he keeps saying he wants to be alone with me... god no not like that! he doesn’t like when i bring a lot of friends along...”

honghui’s face fell as she continued.

“it’s not possessive, he’s a celebrity after all... i’m not just dating him because he’s a celebrity! i mean, that may be part of it... no, but-“

hayoon froze when she turned around to see honghui there. he quickly hid the bouquet behind his back.

“hi, hyunie! you’re early, give me a second-“ she spoke quickly before she went back to her phone, quietly explaining that she was gonna hang up. once she did, she turned back to the boy at the counter with a smile, “how long have you been here? hopefully not long so you didn’t have to hear me talking on the phone for so long. me and my friends talk a lot.”

he shook his head quickly, forcing a smile on his face, “nope. just got here,” he lied through his teeth.

“that’s good,” hayoon said, walking around the counter to meet him on the other side, “did you get me flowers?” she gasped, seeing the bouquet in his hand. he nodded quickly and held them out for her to take.

“i love them!” she exclaimed, kissing his hand because she couldn’t reach his cheek. he softened seeing her reaction to the flowers, a genuine smile creeping across his lips.

[ april 27th, 2020, hayoon’s apartment ]

when honghui walked in, hayoon was laying on the couch, watching tv like usual. he didn’t even say hi to her, he didn’t need to, he just walked over to the couch and climbed on top of her, his head resting on her chest. she eventually fell asleep, and honghui tried to, but he didn’t feel like sleeping and he wouldn’t be able to even if he wanted to. whether it was the late afternoon sunlight pouring in through the thin curtains or the tv blaring, something was keeping him up.

he perked up when he heard hayoon’s phone buzz from on the floor beside the couch, also waking hayoon up. she didn’t check her phone, however, instead she tried to get up. she didn’t get very far though, because honghui wrapped his arms around her waist.

“don’t get up, you’re warm.”

hayoon tried to wriggle her way out of his grasp, “i’m just going to the bathroom, i’ll be right back.” he made a little sound of disapproval, but let go of her, flopping back down onto the couch as she stood up and left the room.

he groaned when her phone started dinging constantly. once again, he was never much of a nosy person, but curiosity got the better of him. he peered over the side of the couch to see what was so important that they had to sent six messages in a row.

[ message from : bestie 👯‍♀️ ]

that wasn’t really much of an indicator.

[ bestie : hayoooooon ]

[ bestie : are you there?? ]

[ bestie : or are you with your celebrity boyfriend again lol ]

[ bestie : come on he literally takes up so much of your time talk to meee ]

[ bestie : i mean i get it he’s your boyfriend but you keep saying he’s clingy ]

[ bestie : he’s gonna get in the way of our friendship lol ]

he suddenly wished he didn’t read those texts.

he was already an over thinker, but that might made it ten times worse. did hayoon think he was clingy? he didn’t think he was that clingy, but how clingy was too clingy for hayoon? he rolled on his back, sighing loudly, maybe it was just a misunderstanding, that was his solution to everything, just a misunderstanding.

that was when hayoon came back from the bathroom, walking over to the front of the couch. “you okay?” she asked, seeing him sprawled out staring up at the ceiling in thought.

he turned his head towards her hearing her voice, sitting himself up on the couch, “yeah. i think i’m gonna head back though, i don’t feel great.”

“that’s fine, is everything okay though?” she asked.

“yeah, it’s fine, i’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, standing up to give her a peck on the lips before grabbing his shoes and walking out the door.

he stayed up thinking a lot that night.

[ april 29th, 2020, solar dorms ]

this was the last straw.

over the last week there had been a lot of little occurrences that have almost set honghui off, but for some reason, this was the one that made him snap.

honghui and hayoon were in the middle of texting, and she accidentally sent him a text that was very obviously meant for someone else. normally this wouldn’t have been a big deal, but the message had something to do with how she wouldn’t like him as much if he wasn’t an idol.

[ hayoon : no he’s a sweetheart but not the type of person i’d date it he weren’t a celebrity ]

she deleted it quickly and apologized, but he’d already seen enough. he called her immediately, asking for an explanation.

“it’s not what it seems like, i swear, we were just joking around-“

“seems like a pretty weird thing to joke about, don’t you think?” honghui replied flatly.

“our humour is just like that. hyunie, listen-“

“don’t call me hyunie right now.” his voice dripped with venom. he’d only ever spoken with hayoon in the sweetest, warmest sounding voice, it didn’t sound like him at all. it scared hayoon a little quite frankly. “joke or not, it’s degrading. i just want you to be honest with me.”

hayoon sighed, “hyunsu, i’m sorry-“

“i want honesty, that’s all i want,” honghui replied, his voice softening a little. “i wouldn’t be making a big deal out of this if it wasn’t for everything that’s happened this week. the call, the texts-“

“so you did hear that phone call?”

“that’s not my point. so unless you have an explanation for all of this, i’m gonna hang up. be honest with me, if you don’t want to date me, say it to my face.”

“hyunsu, i...” her voice broke slightly, and honghui softened again. he still really likes her, so the fact that he had to do this fucking sucked. it felt like it was tearing his heart in half.

“you what, hayoon? spit it out.”

“i like you, i really do. but the reason i started dating you was because you were a celebrity, i got excited at the idea of dating a celebrity. and yeah, maybe if you weren’t famous i wouldn’t have been so quick to start dating you, but that doesn’t mean-“

honghui sighed, “i think i’ve heard enough.”

“wait! i’ll explain myself, i really do like you-“

“i like you too. but this fucking hurts, hayoon. would you like it if someone started dating you for your public status?”

hayoon sniffled so quietly it was almost inaudible, and her voice wavered slightly, “hyunsu-“

“i’ve heard enough. i don’t want to deal with this anymore.” honghui said bitterly. “goodbye, hayoon. find some other boy’s heart to break.”

and with that, he hung up.

they were over. a small part of honghui hoped that entire conversation would turn out to be a misunderstanding. they’d make up, and things would go back to normal. but sometimes, life doesn’t work out in your favour. sometimes it treated you like a little kid would a daisy they found in the grass- plucking you clean. which sounded like an exaggeration, but to honghui, a hopeless romantic who thought he and hayoon really had something, it wasn’t.

that was it. they were over. honghui hated it but he tried to remind himself that it was better this way.

that didn’t make it any easier.

#group.solar #solar.scenarios #milo.dev #WHEW i finished it #this ones kinda sad #but i like writing about milo bc hes the sweetest boy #koc #kpop oc #koc idol group #oc kpop group #kpop imagines #fake kpop group #idol oc #starmaker entertainment #made up kpop agency #etc.hayoon

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heyyyharry · 5 years

Text

My Girl Series: Chapter 7 - Birthday Blues

…in which Harry tries to make it up to Y/N for all the birthdays he has missed.

Series description: Y/N falls in love with the older boy next door who doesn’t feel the same, years later they meet again at a funeral.

AU: actor!harry, older!harry, younger!y/n; (4-year age gap)

Chapter 6: This Time - Y/N needs a wedding date, and this time Harry’s not giving up.

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After Harry had left Holmes Chapel, every spark of joy in Y/N's life slowly died out with the part of him inside of her. The day she turned fifteen was also the first time she'd spent a birthday alone. Celine was abroad for a three-month exchange program. Her grandma, who lived in Brighton had just passed away, so both of her parents had to go there for the funeral. Since she refused to come along, they left her home with her mother's younger sister, aunt Lynn, who was only twenty-two at the time and didn't even bother to remember her name.

"Sweet baby, do not tell your parents that I invite some friends over, okay? Your mum is gonna be so mad," the young woman said, holding Y/N by the shoulders and the teenage girl could only pay attention to the sound of her aunt chewing bubble gum. For some reasons, Lynn always had something in her mouth. If she wasn't chewing gum, she had to make sure her mouth was kept busy by eating something, or someone. Y/N had met her three times before but each time she was snogging a different guy. Sadly she was the only option for a 'babysitter', just because Y/N's parents didn't believe their fifteen-year-old daughter was capable of staying home alone.

"But today is—"

"Shit!" The woman exclaimed, holding her head. "You're right! It's Friday night, I should throw a party. Play with your dolls, baby. Your aunt has adult stuff to take care of."

"My dolls?" Y/N muttered under her breath as the bedroom door was slammed shut in front of her eyes. Putting on her favorite song and turning off all the lights, she lied down, staring at the spinning fan above her head.

All the kids her age probably spent their fifteenth getting drunk and making out with their crushes, or losing their virginity without their parents knowing. But there she was, locked in her room while her aunt was having all the fun she was supposed to have. For the first time in her life, she found herself alone. She'd always been a loner, yet she had never actually felt it until that night. She stayed utter still in silence, holding Thumper close to her chest. The stuffed animal could probably hear every sound of her heart cracking open. Her mother wasn't there to tell her what a woman she'd become, nor was Harry to sing her the birthday song. It was just her, alone in the dark, with a purple bunny that still smelt just like him.

Celine always said that working in the library was the worst decision Y/N had ever made, because there was no job more boring than organizing dusty old books. But the thing was, Y/N loved her boring job. She mainly got paid for sorting and shelving books according to their categorization, which wasn't really hard work, not to mention that Ms. Florence, the librarian, was really easy-going. Y/N got to spend most of her time in the fiction section, avoiding her responsibilities to read and write as much as she wanted. Besides, she really liked her co-worker, whose name was Alice.

Alice was a year younger than Y/N. She liked to talk and Y/N liked to listen, so they were pretty compatible. Finding a drinking buddy in university was easy, Y/N had plenty of them; the hard part was finding a buddy you could trust. So even though Alice wasn't what Y/N would consider a close friend, she could be someone to count on.

"Why is it that every time I see you, you're reading something?"

Alice's voice pulled Y/N's attention away from the novel on her lap, as she looked up and found the tiny brunette smiling at her. Y/N leaned back against the bookshelf, crossing her legs so there was room on the floor for Alice to sit down as well.

"I have a surprise for you, big sis!" Alice said, making Y/N roll her eyes and chuckle.

"You've found another porn book, haven't ya?"

"No! An actual surprise!" The younger girl giggled, then finally showed Y/N what she'd been hiding behind her back. "Ta-da! Two tickets to see Heathers!"

"Heathers The Musical?" Y/N dropped her jaw when the other girl nodded. "I love Heathers!"

"I bet you do! You seem like someone who enjoys dark comedy with tragic endings."

Alice's comment made her laugh, but she couldn't say it wasn't true. Her life itself was already a dark comedy.

"Are you giving me these for free?" She asked, pointing to the tickets and Alice's lips curved into a smile as she nodded fast in response.

"I bought these to go with a friend next week, but we're both gonna be busy that night. So just consider this as my temporary birthday gift to you. I'll buy you something else tomorrow."

"How do you know today's my birthday?" Y/N's eyes went round as her mouth fell open, yet the grin on the other girl's face only expanded.

"I was cleaning Ms. Florence's desk this morning when I found your CV. I didn't have time to actually get you something so—"

"Alice..."

"I know you hate birthdays, but please accept these tickets or else I'll die!"

Y/N rolled her eyes, chuckling a bit at how dramatic that sounded, but eventually, she accepted the birthday gift from her co-worker, and thanked the girl for being so thoughtful. "By the way, there's really no need to get me something else," she said, making Alice snort.

"Don't be silly! You're getting a proper birthday gift from me." Alice barely stood up when she flopped onto the floor again. "Oh, and one more thing! Do you wanna go out tonight? I know this pub that's—"

"No, thanks. I've got a lot of work to do tonight."

"But it's your birthday!"

Y/N gave the girl a shrug, lifting a corner of her mouth as she replied, "I never celebrate it."

"Boo, you suck!" Like a child, Alice blew up her cheeks, eyebrows knitted together. "But if you change your mind, ring me up, big sis!"

Y/N tried to contain her laughter as she watched Alice hop away and almost fall head first when she tripped over a stool. It was only when her clumsy co-worker had gone out of sight that Y/N finally checked her watch and realized her shift was just over. She rose from the floor to place the book back on the shelf, then put the tickets into her bag before heading out. Usually, she would always be the last person to leave, but since it was her birthday, she still wanted to do something special for herself, even if it was something as simple as going home before Ms. Florence.

Instead of taking the bus, that day Y/N decided to walk home. For the first time in two years living in that city, the girl finally paid attention to what was going on around her; it was also the first time she had realized how boring London had always been. The grey color of concrete dominated the entire city; it was hard to spot a hint of green anywhere, unlike Holmes Chapel, her home.

Y/N missed that place so much, now more than ever.

She missed the meadows behind her house at springtime, when all the wildflowers added vibrant colors to the fading green. She missed the tall pine trees surrounding a field full of white poppies. She used to run across that field, imagining herself in the opening scene of The Sound of Music, and she could still hear Harry's voice calling out "Bambi, wait for me!" as he tried to catch up with her.

He was the green that she missed the most.

The sound of her ringtone cut right through that thought, causing the vivid images before her eyes to fade back to monochrome. His name showed up on the screen, as if he knew she had been thinking about him.

"Hello?" She answered, standing close to the wall on her right so she wouldn't get in the way of the other pedestrians.

"Are you on the way home?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, I'm just a few blocks away. Why?"

"I'm coming over."

She snorted, pursing her dry lips. "I'm busy tonight, remember? Birthday dinner with Isaac?" That lie was as smooth as melting butter coming from her mouth, yet her insides were heating up and her hands started to shake. She was glad he couldn't see the way she shut her eyes and pressed her lips into a firm line after lying to him.

"I'll see you in five."

"Wait, I said—" Y/N began, yet couldn't finish. Harry had already hung up on her.

The sun was sinking fast now, turning the sky to grey tinged with purple and pink. Harry was already waiting by his car outside the building when Y/N returned, standing with his back facing the ruby-red skyline. With golden-rays casting down upon him, Y/N thought Harry glowed even brighter than the sun itself. But of course, he didn't have to know.

"Happy birthday." His voice was husky and deep as he handed her a white poppy. "Just like the ones back home," he said, and the reluctance from her expression made him feel the need to add, "I didn't buy it. I stole it from a flower shop on the way here."

Y/N didn't know if that was true, but his slop-sided grin made her doubt every single one of his words.

"Headline: Harry Styles stole a flower for a mystery girl!" She said, swiping her hand across the air like she was presenting the idea to him, which only made the beam on his face grow twice as big as he pointed to his car. "Get in, kid," he told her. "Before what you said become reality."

"Where are we going?" She asked in hesitation.

"To your birthday party."

"My birthday party?! But I'm—"

"I'm sure we've got a lot of time before Isaac returns from Italy to take you to dinner."

That one sentence got Y/N tongue-tied. The girl couldn't make a single sound, instead, she was gawking at him like a fool. What did she expect though? He would find out sooner or later because he was still friends with Isaac. So all she could do at that moment was try to come up with an explanation, in case he asked her to tell him why she'd lied. However, he didn't ask her anything. Harry flashed a smile as he walked back to his car and told her to come along. But Y/N refused. She couldn't just follow him blindly without knowing exactly where they were going.

"You're not taking me to a fancy restaurant, are you?"

"Bambi, the last thing I want is for the paps to eat you alive." Harry chuckled and opened the car door for the girl. "Don't worry, kid. It's just gonna be the two of us."

The loud music and laughter from downstairs made it almost impossible for Y/N to even hear the voice inside her head. The birthday blues made it hard for her to stay awake, yet she couldn't sleep either, and there was no way she could talk her aunt into ending the party. Lynn was probably drunk off her ass right now, so Y/N knew the only place for her to be alone with her depressing thoughts was the treehouse. She hadn't gone back there since the night she last saw Harry, but she guessed it had become such a big part of her that she couldn't stay away no matter how much she'd tried.

Still in her pajamas, the fifteen-year-old climbed the rope ladder to get to her childhood spot. The floor was still wet from the rain yesterday, so she leaned against the doorway and stood there to ponder on her own. However, it didn't take her more than three minutes to burst into tears.

Y/N hated crying, it was physically and emotionally painful to cry, and when it was over, what was left was just...nothing. Emptiness. Nevertheless, crying was how Y/N understood herself best. When she cried, she knew who she was. And she had always thought, just like a heartbreak, though crying left her feeling empty when it was over, she would still sigh in relief, because, at least, she knew it was the end.

"Y/N!"

When she heard that voice, the girl stepped closer to the edge of the treehouse and looked down at her neighbor's garden, where she found Harry's big sister with one hand behind her back and the other waving in the air. Y/N quickly wiped away the remaining tears on her cheeks, feeling thankful because if Gemma had come earlier, she might have already seen Y/N bawling her eyes out.

"Gemma! When did you get back?"

"Just a couple days ago. I'm home for two weeks to work on my thesis." The other Styles chuckled. "Glad I found you out here, I was just about to come over."

"To see me?" Y/N lifted both eyebrows, pointing to herself and receiving a nod from her neighbor.

"Yeah, come down here. I have something for you."

The teenage girl hesitated a bit because she couldn't figure out why Gemma wanted to see her and had something for her. Even though she used to hang out with Harry, she was never that close to his older sister. But she climbed down anyway, curious to know what Gemma had behind her back.

"Happy birthday," said the 23-year-old as she handed Y/N the birthday gift she'd been hiding that whole time.

A snow globe.

It didn't have a snowman and a Christmas tree like the ones you normally found in souvenir shops. The one Gemma gave her had colorful glitter inside instead of fake snow; and it was a miniature London, with tiny versions of Big Ben, the London Eye, and the Tower Bridge.

But all Y/N could see, was a person.

"You remember my birthday?" The younger girl asked quietly as she received the gift from her lovely neighbor, who was smiling from ear to ear.

"Of course," Gemma said. "I came to your birthday party every year. But I guess you don't like them anymore, huh?"

"Yeah..." Y/N faked a laugh, hoping her awkward eye-roll didn't give away the fact that she was just lonely.

"Well, I'd love to stay and chat but I must get back to work now."

"Sure. Thanks for the nice gift," said Y/N. "Where did you get it by the way?"

"Bought it when I was in London last week."

Y/N didn't say anything else and just watched the older girl walk back to her house. Of course, she wanted to ask Gemma about Harry, but it was so sad to even think about him right now. His sister remembered her birthday and even got her a present, yet she hadn't heard a single word from him since the day he left. He was supposed to be her friend, or was it just another thing she had fooled herself into believing?

Holding the little London between her palms, she thought that maybe it was time to let go of the London inside her heart.

"Don't peek!"

"I'm not peeking!"

Y/N giggled, holding the hand that was covering her eyes as Harry carefully led her up the stairs, giving her directions so she wouldn't trip and cause them both to fall over. She extended her arms once they had reached the top, feeling the cold metal surface in front of them. The creaking sound caused her to flinch, so Harry quickly reassured the girl that it was just him opening the door. She could feel his other hand reaching around her waist to pull the handle, and a cold breeze blew right through her thin shirt. Y/N immediately took a step backward and bumped into Harry's firm chest. She felt the pressure of his fingertips on her hip as he gently pushed her forward, for the third time that night, telling her to trust him.

"If I didn't trust you I wouldn't have walked up all these floors with my eyes closed." She giggled, and his soft laughter sent shivers down her spine.

"Sit," he ordered, holding the girl by the arms to guide her into a chair; and when she was finally seated, Harry leaned in so his lips were close to her ear as he whispered, "open your eyes."

Y/N did what she was told.

Slowly, she opened her eyes.

The girl had begun to envision her surroundings ever since the cool air hit her skin for the first time as she stepped out, yet what she saw was far from her imagination.

They were sitting on a rooftop of a tall building somewhere in London. From her spot, Y/N could see the entire city spread below, tiny vehicles rushing along tangled roads. The city lights looked like stars dropping to the Earth, making her feel as if they were being squeezed between two galaxies. There were no words magical enough to describe what she was seeing, so Y/N didn't say anything, and just took in a deep breath to let it go with the biggest smile on her face.

It was windy on the roof, so Harry took off his coat and wrapped it around her shoulders. They sat side by side on two wooden chairs, staring at the city and the sky above, completely mesmerized by such beauty, which had completely changed Y/N's opinion about London. Maybe from a different and higher view, it wasn't plain and dull after all.

"Almost like Holmes Chapel, huh?" She heard him speak and turned to look at him. Harry was gazing up with a beam on his face as he pointed to the sky, and told her the names of the stars he knew, not aware that she wasn't really listening. She was too busy looking at him, and thinking, maybe somewhere underneath that man was still the little boy she used to know.

"Oh, I forgot!" He suddenly flinched and turned to pick up the box at his feet. "I made this for you. But...the rest of the batch...already ended up in the trash bin."

He opened the box and revealed one single cupcake with a candle on top. It didn't look terrible, still, it wasn't a very pretty cupcake either. But if that was the best out of the whole batch, Y/N couldn't help but snort as she tried to imagine what the other ones looked like.

"Hey, don't laugh at me! At least I tried!"

"Okay, okay." Y/N bit her lip to hold back a smile. She didn't know why it was so endearing that he'd exerted himself to make her one cupcake. Even if he'd got it from a store instead, she would still be overjoyed.

"Can I eat it now?" She asked, but he quickly shook his head no.

"You have to make a wish first."

Y/N giggled, eyes bored into Harry as he looked around to find something else. "Shit!" His jaw went slack. "The lighter! I forgot the lighter."

"Relax, lemme check," Y/N mumbled, reaching inside the inner pocket of his coat to search for the object, and she felt something like a little triangle box, assuming it was the lighter. But when she took it out, both of them froze as they saw what it really was.

A pack of cigarettes.

Y/N's mouth fell open, she was speechless, and so was he. "Harry..." Her voice was quiet when she looked at him. "Do you smoke?"

"No." He shook his head fast. "N-Not anymore."

"Really?"

"Why would I lie?" A blush crept up his face as he made eye-contact with her. "If I still smoked, I would have a lighter with me, right?"

That sounded like a good enough reason for her to believe him. Moreover, he didn't smell like someone who smoked, and she'd never seen him with a cigarette between his fingers before. So apparently he was telling the truth. Y/N inhaled deeply as she nodded, squeezing his hand for more assurance.

"Smoking could kill you. So don't...don't go back to it..." The way she could barely maintain eye contact while saying that to him made his heart flutter somehow. He took her other hand, linking their fingers together as he asked, "are you worried about me?"

"Of course I am," she said without pause. "I can't bear the thought of losing you."

The corners of her mouth turned down and her whole face contorted so he knew she was serious when she said those words. After all this time, he still mattered to her; and knowing that was like getting a heavy weight lifted off his chest.

Harry sank into his chair, holding the mini calendar above his face. "It's already April," he mumbled to himself, but his roommate Isaac assumed Harry was talking to him, so he replied, "yeah, almost time for finals."

It wasn't finals that came to Harry's mind when he thought about April, it was a birthday actually. He rarely remembered birthdays, and sometimes he forgot his own; but for some reasons, he always remembered hers. He hadn't spoken to Y/N since the night he left, and he could never forget the way she looked at him when she asked him to kiss her. It was awkward, yet it was sad. She truly cared about him, and he could never repay the same kind of feelings because she was too young. So he didn't know how to talk to her again after everything she'd confessed. The last thing he wanted was to lead her on and lull her into believing that one day he might feel the same. He knew he could never like her back the way she wanted him to.

However, it would be a lie to say he didn't miss her. He missed her a lot. How could he forget about his little Bambi? She was the only girl he'd spent the best years of his childhood protecting and looking after. She was something more than just the girl next door, and he kept the image on her face on the treehouse that night in his memory as he left Holmes Chapel with no intention of coming back. Every time he thought about her, a part of him wanted to pay her a visit, but he was glad he didn't change his mind. But now her birthday was coming close, and he knew she wanted him to be there with her. He wanted to be there with her. But he couldn't.

"Isaac," Harry broke the silence in the dorm room, turning his head to look at his best friend who was lying on the bed. "What should I give a fifteen-year-old girl for her birthday?"

The sudden question made Isaac lift an eyebrow. "I thought you only had a big sister?"

"Uhm...it's actually for my...my...cousin."

"Well, I'm bad at this stuff. Why don't you ask Niall?"

Harry rolled his eyes and scoffed. "He would just give me crazy ideas."

"Then ask the birthday girl herself." Isaac shrugged, sticking out his bottom lip. "I mean, try to be subtle and find out what she likes without giving away the fact that you don't know what to get her."

If only it was that easy. Harry shook his head and put the calendar back down. He used to be the one who knew about her more than anyone else, probably only second to her mother, he should be able to know what she liked, but right now he didn't. He knew nothing about her anymore. It was only then that he started to feel bad for all the time he didn't spend with her. But had he not kept his distance, their goodbye would've been much harder.

So he tried to think, swirling the pencil in his hand for a couple seconds. And finally, an idea came to his mind. Maybe there could be a way for him to come back to her after all.

For the rest of the night, Harry and Y/N sat in their chairs, eating pizza for dinner while discussing irrelevant topics like the existence of aliens, strange kinds of flowers, as well as their favorite movies, songs, and books. Soon both grew tired so they fell back to silence. He was staring at the city, and she was taking in the sight of him.

"Are you mad that I lied to you?" Her sudden question made him turn around with an eyebrow raised. "You know, about Isaac."

"I'm not mad at you, kid. But I'd like to know what happened..." Harry couldn't say he had heard most of the story from Niall because he wanted Y/N to tell him herself, if she trusted him enough, and of course, he didn't expect her to. But somehow she did. She ended up telling him everything.

"I didn't want Isaac to turn down the job offer for a relationship that would probably never work." She sighed with her chin on her knuckles, hooded eyes staring blankly ahead. "I liked him a lot. And I thought to myself that if he asked me to be his girlfriend, I would say yes immediately. But when it happened, I got scared. I couldn't let him in because I was afraid that if he knew too much about me, he wouldn't like me anymore. I guess I'm just not ready to fall in love again, and I don't want him to wait for me to be ready. My first and only relationship didn't end very well. So I didn't have the heart to let the same thing happen to us." Holding her breath, she said, "He's too good for me anyway. I'm better off alone."

"Nobody is better off alone," Harry spoke at last, a line appeared between his brows. "Everyone needs someone."

"Not me." She shrugged, and the look in her eyes broke his heart in a million pieces. "I'm sorry I had to lie to you...I didn't want you to do anything for my birthday. I've troubled you enough already."

"But you're not troubling me, love. I did all of this because I wanted to. I...I care about you."

She couldn't remember the last time she heard him say those words, or if he'd ever said them at all. So to hear them now made her feel happy and sad at the same time. If there was one thing that she'd learned from their 'relationship' it would be, Harry's words weren't always credible.

"How did you find this place though?" She changed the subject, putting on a smile to lighten up the mood, which had gotten a bit blue since Isaac was mentioned. She could see it from the look on his face that he was also glad she'd brought up something else.

"Niall's uncle owns this building. They're doing some reconstructing so it's closed for a couple months. It might be the only place we could be together without people bothering us."

"Thank you." Y/N took in a long breath as she smiled. "I've never seen London so beautiful."

"Agreed." Harry nodded fast. In this bad lighting, his dimples seemed even deeper than they actually were. "But my favorite is the winter time. The city looks best when it's covered in snow."

Those last words made Y/N's head turn as her eyes went round.

"It was you, wasn't it?" she cried out, causing the man to jump in shock. He was meant to ask, but she didn't even let him have his chance. "The snow globe! You asked Gemma to give it to me, did you?!"

"Ouch!" He yelped when she smacked him hard on the arm. The girl didn't look very sorry when he rubbed the sore spot and his brows drew together in utter perplexity.

"Why did you ask her to lie for you?! I was so sad, I thought you didn't remember my birthday!"

"I thought it was for the best if you forgot about me, after..."

There was a pause, a gap for her to fill in.

"Our first kiss...I know," she mumbled at last.

It was weird to talk about it now, since both of them had been pretending like the kiss she'd stolen from him when she was fourteen had never happened. After all, she was fourteen at the time, he couldn't blame her for acting so impulsive. But recently he'd been thinking about it and wondering if her feelings back then had been all true.

Her eyes darted as she whispered under her breath, but still loud enough for him to hear, "why didn't you send me anything on my birthday next year or the ones after that?"

"I...I wanted to...I almost did." He swallowed hard while fidgeting in his seat. "But Gemma said you were seeing this boy, so I thought I should stay away from your life and let you forget about me for good. Then time passed and I actually didn't think a lot about you, until..."

She nodded without waiting for him to finish, her lashes fluttered as sadness overtook her face. After a moment of thinking, she asked, "if you could turn back time, would you come back to see me?"

"Yes," he answered. "Without a second thought."

Y/N had seen Harry in a lot of different situations, yet she'd never seen him like that, all flustered and ill at ease. She loved the way the rings on his fingers sparkled as he was nervously toying with the hem of his shirt. She loved it when even under the dim lights surrounding them, she could see a blush creep up his face. She knew better, that it was never good when she felt so drawn to him, yet she couldn't stop, so she released a slight laugh, which got his attention.

"Why are you laughing?" He asked.

Shaking her head with the grin still remained, she said, "nothing."

As he walked with her five floors up to her flat, Harry struggled to find something to say so the silence carried on until they reached her front door. He couldn't explain why he was at a loss for words every time he stood in front of her. He knew her well, he'd grown up with this girl. But deep down inside he knew it wasn't like that, not anymore. He knew his heart had more to say about her than it should, and the way it began to race whenever she was around had him frustrated most of the times.

He watched her unlock her front door and turn to say goodbye. But just when she was about to leave, he stopped her by taking her hand. It wasn't the first time they'd held hands, still, he let hers go after about two seconds like it was hot coal burning his skin. Maybe it was, maybe she was, yet he couldn't stay away because he enjoyed the burn. With round Bambi eyes, she stared at him, slightly puzzled by his strange behaviors. Harry asked her to wait. He searched in his pants pocket, finally pulling out a silver locket necklace.

"Your birthday present."

"Harry—"

He shushed her right away, telling her to turn around as he took a step closer to put the chain around her neck. His fingers brushed against her collarbone only once, but it was enough for both of them to flinch at the contact. Y/N gently touched the heart-shaped locket now lying on her chest, then opened it to find a tiny photo of her mother.

"So you could always keep her by your heart," he whispered, his voice was low and hot against her ear.

Slowly, Y/N turned around, but Harry didn't pull away so they were just one step away from pressing against each other. She meant to just thank him and go inside her flat, but as she parted her lip, not a single sound managed to escape. Her cheeks turned pink, her bottom lip was quivering as she batted her lashes. She had never looked into his eyes for that long, and the look he was giving her made her pupils dilated. It was the same look she'd seen him give that blonde haired girl on the treehouse when he was seventeen. He had never looked at Y/N that way before, and now he did. If only she could read his mind, she would know he was also trying to do the same.

Harry knew it was wrong, but he couldn't resist. The last time he had the same feeling, he wasn't thinking straight so he went for it by instinct. Now he knew exactly what was happening, and still, he didn't stop it. He leaned in a little closer, their foreheads touching. He expected her to pull away or even slap him for making that bold move, yet she stayed exactly where she was, chest heaving with anticipation. Her scent was flooding his senses, and the second he finally found the courage to place his hands on her hips, it was she who decided the next move.

Her lips brushed against his. Not innocently, but hot and passionately, he wanted to pull away before he lost control, but like a magnet, she drew him in more and now he was stuck. "Harry," she whispered slowly, making his heart flutter as he clasped his hands on either side of her face.

That kiss wasn't like the first or the second, this time it was an open-mouthed, almost sexual kiss. He pushed her against the door, loving the way her body melted into his as their lips fitted perfectly like they were made for each other. She held his hair and he held her so tight as if he was afraid it wasn't real, and she would disappear the moment he loosened his grip. They broke away after what seemed like ages, and from the look in her eyes, he could tell she expected him to run, just like he had before.

But he didn't. Even if he wanted to, he knew his trembling feet wouldn't let him. She stood with her back against the door, him with one hand on her hip, the other fisted to rest beside her head. He inhaled sharply and she was still trying to steady her breathing. It took almost five seconds for either to open their eyes and look at the other person.

"Goodnight," she mumbled, reaching behind for the doorknob and the next thing he knew, she had fled inside and shut the door right in front of his face. Harry was left standing in the hallway like an idiot, not knowing what to do next. He lifted a fist, about to knock because there were still many things that he wanted to say to her, an apology was one of which. But he thought again and decided that he should probably go.

Harry left the building, stepping out on the street with his head still on the cloud as he kept touching his lips, trying not to smile so big or else people would think he was insane. But maybe he was, because he was too happy to act differently. He got into his car and sat there with both hands on the steering wheel, head tossed back, smiling contently. His whole face was red, but he didn't really mind. He was soaked in the scent of her perfume, and all he could think about was how he could possibly fall asleep with every trace of her lingering on his body.

His phone lit up in the dark, notifying a new text from Bambi which got him to sit up straight at once. His heart could've exploded when he read the first line, if the next one hadn't come on in less than a second.

⌲ Bambi: That kiss was a mistake.

⌲ Bambi: You're gonna have to earn it next time.

⌲ Next time? :)

⌲ Bambi: Don't be smug about it!

⌲ I'm not! But wait, on the scale from 1-10, how great was tonight? (minus the kiss)

⌲ Bambi: 7/10 (including the kiss)

⌲ Heeeeeey!

Sitting at her working desk, chin resting on her palm, Y/N cracked a smile. The birthday surprise, as well as the kiss they'd shared in the hallway, were definitely 11/10. But she couldn't give it to him that easily. She placed her phone down, leaving his latest message on read as she touched the chain around her neck once again.

The London snow globe was still sitting on her desk, and she hadn't touched it in so long that it was a bit dusty now. She kept it there so it could remind her of the terrible birthday she should already forget, but she didn't want to. It was a way of telling herself that sometimes the people you loved would leave you behind, and that was just a cruel fact of life that one should just accept and carry on. But now that she knew it wasn't all true, the way she felt about the snow globe had also changed.

Quickly, she typed down 'Thank you for the locket' and sent it to him, then while waiting for him to reply, she sent another text right after.

⌲ I have two tickets to see Heathers The Musical

⌲ H: Yes.

⌲ I haven't even asked?

⌲ H: Whatever you're gonna ask, it's a yes.

⌲ Have you even watched Heathers?

⌲ H: There's always Google! Send me the date and time, my assistant will get back to you shortly.

⌲ Haha funny.

Y/N rolled her eyes and giggled as she snapped a quick shot of the tickets Alice had given her and sent it to him.

⌲ H: Wednesday night! I'm free!

⌲ You sure there's not another award show that night? I'm gonna kill you if you skip another one for me.

⌲ H: Nah I'm not supposed to attend any event next week. If you don't believe me, google it!

⌲ Oh God.

⌲ H: Say that instead of my name 'next time'.

Y/N's face turned scarlet when she read that line. She sucked in her bottom lip, face-palming herself with her eyes shut and wishing she hadn't moaned his name into the kiss. That couldn't have been more embarrassing. She typed down a few words, trying to come up with a reply that would save herself from the humiliation, yet she kept typing and deleting for three times or so. Then came two new messages from him.

⌲ H: It's late. Go to sleep Bambi. Good night.

⌲ H: Once again, happy birthday! :)

The twenty-year-old smiled to herself as she sent him back a goodnight text. Y/N knew she should get to bed now if she wanted to wake up early for a class in the morning. But she also knew it would take forever for her to fall asleep. This time, fortunately, it wasn't gonna be the birthday blues that kept her up all night.

#my girls series #harry styles #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles imagine #harry styles angst #harry styles imagines #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfictions #harry styles fanfics #harry styles writing #harry styles fanfiction #bestfriend!harry #older!harry #actor!harry

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heartfulofsighs · 4 years

Text

Baggage Claim Part 8

Description: Seunghoon back from a business trip only has a mind for growing his company. You are in the middle of running from the by the book life that was drowning you. When a minor inconvenience sets you in his path will you be the reason he eases up? And could he be what you need to get serious again

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

Thanks to everyone who has given me such kind compliments about this story. It really means a lot. This part is more domestic then anything and I really enjoy it. Here’s hoping our two love birds stay this rosy lol. @negrowhat Always the most thanks to you for being my forever sounding board.

He looked down at the picture on his phone for the millionth time. His day had started out with a lot of promise. Seungyoon had sent a long email chocked full of actually very good ideas for his new factory opening. His other smaller accounts were going well also. But he still felt...lost, scared, and a little bit annoyed. You hadn’t called him back. He stared down harder at his phone. Was it something he had said? Was he too clingy? What could he have possibly done to put you off? He thought back to holding you. You had tucked your head under his chin while you watched tv and talked. It had all felt so ideal. He scratched his chin as he put his phone down, he must have been wrong, he must have missed something. “Hey grumpy.”

He looked up to see Mino standing in his doorway, sucking on a lollipop. Instead of being more annoyed he shrugged and leaned back in his office chair. “You know, you aren’t exactly a ray of sunshine on most days but today you’re especially stormy.” He pulled the candy from his mouth his face full of concern, “is everything ok?” He asked. Hoon toyed with the idea of brushing him off, minimizing his feelings because logically he was being irrational. He leaned forward towards his desk and muttered, “she hasn’t called me, texted me, anything since we went to the club.” He said clearly. Mino came into the room, each stepped measured until he sat across from Seunghoon in the other chair. “Maybe she’s just been busy?” He suggested. “I mean she’s from another country, maybe something’s come up for her back home?” He tried. “That’s true.” Hoon granted softly. He swallowed suddenly feeling so selfish for not thinking of that possibility. “I just wish,” he started before he stopped to rub his head, “I wish that I didn’t care.” He finished his voice much lower than before. It would truly be a fling if he didn’t care. If he could brush off your silence then it would all be so much easier. Mino grinned, his face morphing back to it’s usual one of mischief. He had no idea how deep Hoon’s crisis was. He leaned forward. “I think it’s cute that you care. I’ve never seen you so broken up over a girl…” “I’m not broken up.” He snapped. “Overly touchy?” Mino tried. He rolled his eyes and decided not to answer. “Do you wanna eat?” He asked. A change of subject and scenery would probably be good for him. He needed to refocus on what he had to do for work. He didn’t have time to worry over… His phone buzzed to life. He looked down at the screen, a message from a number he didn’t know across the screen. He read it out loud relief coloring his voice with every word. “Sorry, I smashed my phone after you dropped me off. Yeah lunch sounds good but can we make it tomorrow?” The message read. He let out a long sigh and Mino laughed at him. “All that fuss…” He started in between giggles, “and it was because she’s a little clumsy.” He laughed harder. Seunghoon found himself smiling with him. The joy that the explanation was so simple filled his chest. You hadn’t gotten tired of him in the span of a night. You had just smashed your phone. He waited for Mino to calm down before asking again, “do you wanna eat?” “Yeah, the new mall they built down the way has an amazing food court.” He suggested. He started on his lollipop again with a more thoughtful face, “I wanna try the gourmet noodle place they have there.” He said. “Fine,” Hoon stood up and started to brush off his pants, “then back to work.” He said. “Awww there’s my taskmaster.” Mino copied his motion, standing tall and stretching.

“Tell me everything you want to tell me.” Cherry had been so calm when you finally got home from Seunghoon’s house. She was calm but you felt like a bottled storm. Talking about him didn’t help. It felt like lightening strikes in your heart describing how the two of you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. There was no way you could pull off the “long tease,” like she advised. It happened fast and it was wonderful. You told her all of it but held the part back that made you feel so...odd. When you were done Cherry must have felt something was shifting for you, changing. She spared making you explain. “Well this is a lot to digest,” she had said. “I know, I’m still…” you swallowed and the storm felt like it was churning in your stomach. Making your hands shake and your throat dry. Cherry had said something, maybe she wanted to get started on dinner or she had somewhere to be and then you were alone. You laid on your bed and sighed. You wanted someone to tell you what was a good idea and what was a bad one. Apparently you weren’t doing too well. You hadn’t left home to fall in love. You put your hands over your face and tried to block the word out. Not love, not with a guy who you just met, who you just slept with, who you had gone on two dates with. You couldn’t be in love with him and that’s why it felt like there were thunderstorms raging in you. “Should have just given him the bag and forgotten about him.” You whispered softly to yourself. But that would have been too simple and if you were being honest too boring. You took your hands off of your face and stared at the ceiling. Your heart was hammering but not in the bad way it did when you were home. In fact the storm raging was scary but it wasn’t the feeling that you ran away from. You decided to wait and see because what else could you do?

The next day you smashed your phone. It seemed to happen in slow-mo. Pulling it from your pocket, the smooth black device slipping free from your hand and sailing between the stairs to its doom. The sound it made on the concrete made you wince. You stood on the landing in disbelief and of course the first thing you thought of was, “how am I gonna text Hoon?” He had sent you a text yesterday that you hadn’t replied to yet. He was going to think you were ignoring him or playing some stupid hard to get type game. It was only after you freaked out about that did you even consider how your mother was going to call you, or any of your friends. You didn’t move from your spot on the landing not until Cherry came out. “What happened? I thought you said you were going to mail your mom that letter?” She asked. “I dropped my phone,” you responded in a complete monotone. “What the hell am I gonna do?” You whispered. “We could go to the mall? And get a new cheap one?” She suggested. “I won’t have anyone’s number,” you scratched at your arm, “god I’m so stupid…” She took your hand and started to lead you down the stairs, her face all patience. “Just take a breath. We’ll get it all fixed.” She said. “This is gonna blow my budget,” you complained. “Maybe we’ll find an older model that isn’t too bad,” she tried, “and you’ll just have to put up a post on your social media asking people for their numbers.” It all sounded so simple once she laid the steps out. “And I’m sure Seunghoon has an office number posted on google or something, we can call there and get his cell,” she turned just as the two of you finished the last step. There was a pretty sizable smile on her face, “cause I know that’s who you’re really worried about contacting.” You couldn’t even argue with her. The train ride down to the mall was quick. You had been in the city long enough to recognize you were near Hoon’s building. Your heart picked up a little. “This place is brand new.” Cherry told you while she looked through her purse, “we’ll go to the phone store then grab lunch?” She pulled out a chapstick and looked at you for confirmation. “Yeah that sounds fine.” You said, “and can we get something sweet?” You added. “Like frozen yogurt?” She applied the chapstick liberally before leaning back in her seat, “oh I wanna look in the new home goods store they have too.” She said, “I want some potted plants.” She made a thoughtful face, “for the kitchen, or maybe the living room.” She added. She pulled out her phone and showed you how she might want to set the kitchen up. Talking about something mundane kept you from worrying about your phone and how much a new one could cost. It was a nice little break.

He ate his noodles and watched all the movement in the food court. People flowed back then forth through the new building, shopping bags in hand, faces beaming. It was gorgeous inside, all gleaming floors and modern shops. Everything felt upscale, even the food court. He wondered who had done the advertising for the opening? “The noodles are good?” Mino asked as he slurped. Hoon nodded, he was nearly finished with his bowl. His mind now fully focused on work. You had texted him, he would see you, that was all he had cared about. “So, where are you planning on taking her for lunch tomorrow?” Mino asked. He drank the broth from his bowl then set it down, “you have to take her somewhere nice,” “I’m going to.” Hoon insisted. He leaned his head on his hand and sighed, “or maybe I’ll just cook for her.” “You can’t cook.” Mino pointed out on a snort. “I can try.” He argued. “You just want her at your apartment,” he leaned forward, “you just want a little afternoon...treat.” “Shut-up.” He snapped. But that wasn’t such a bad thought either. Suddenly he was picturing it. Making you something nice, smiling at you from the other side of his table, then delicately getting up and closing the distance. Hand on your cheek, leaning down to kiss you. “Well back to work I guess.” He blinked, the sound of Mino’s voice butting right into his daydream. He stared at him barely able to contain his annoyance. “Yeah, I guess,” he granted. He had work and recipes to look up. Mino stood and adjusted his jacket. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and managed to produce another lollipop. “When did you start eating candy so much?” Hoon pushed his chair in genuinely curious. They walked out of the fancy noodle place into the crowd of new shoppers. “Haven’t you ever heard of an oral fixation?” Mino laughed, dodging around a small group of older ladies. “Since when have you had that?” He stopped walking suddenly struck by two people coming out of a jewelry store. He cocked his head, it definitely was you. You and another girl arm in arm, bright smiles on your faces. He started out towards you two without a word to Mino. The other girl saw him first. She stopped abruptly and pulled you up short with her, “sorry, sir we’re having sort of a girl’s day, we aren’t interested.” She said quickly. You laughed a little at her and shook your head. “Cherry,” your voice wasn’t quite a whisper, “this is Seunghoon.” Her eyes widened. She put her hand over her mouth and made what he thought sounded like a squealing sound. “Nice to meet you.” He said to her before he turned his attention to you completely. “So this is where you came for your new phone?” He watched you nod. Mino has reached the group, lollipop in his mouth “What a coincidence,” he commented around his candy. “Did you guys do a little shopping?” He peered down at Cherry, “I’m Mino, you must be the friend?” He beamed, “there’s always a really nice friend…” “Cherry, it’s nice to meet you.” She extended her hand. They shook but these were small details to Hoon. “What kind of phone did you get?” He asked. You pulled a small black phone from your pocket and showed it off, “I had to get a little cheap one so I wouldn’t blow my budget.” He looked it over more critically then he meant to. He wasn’t trying to judge, he was just concerned about being able to be in touch with you. “It’s nice.” He finally got out. “Well,” Mino began, “we left a lot of work at the office…” His hand patted Hoon on the back. He realized that he had just been standing watching you. He cleared his throat, “yeah, I guess I have to get going.” “But I’ll see you tomorrow right?” You asked him. The smile on your face sent his heart going a million miles an hour. He nodded, “yes, for lunch.” His answer satisfied you. Cherry waved as the two of you started to walk away “nice meeting you!” She called. “Wow, it really is like fate with you two,” Mino draped his arms over his shoulders and began to walk him towards their exit, “everywhere you go there she is.” “I’ve never been so lucky.” Hoon agreed.

“So what are you going to wear to lunch?” The two of you were walking your way back from the train station. Still arm in arm. She seemed almost giddy about your date with Seunghon. Seeing him at the mall had fueled her talk about fate and people being destined. You didn’t have the heart to stop her but you tried not to let the talk get to you head. A fling a fling a fling. Cherry stopped herself short of saying love most of the way but when she got close you felt the storm cloud in your stomach again. “Just jeans Cherry, he said it wasn’t going to be anywhere fancy.” You didn’t mean to sound whiny but there it was. “We can look at options when we get home.” She satisfied herself with her answer and went silent for the rest of your walk. It wasn’t until you got back into your apartment that she spoke up, “I have a really cute crop top that would look good with jeans.” “Can we try on stuff later?” You tried. You didn’t have the energy to try on one piece of clothing then another. “I should probably call my mom.” You untangled your am from hers, “just to let her know that I’ve handled the phone thing.” “Oh yeah, no problem.” Cherry rubbed her arm and sighed, “I should probably check and see if I have any job emails. I’ve been neglecting that inbox.” She said on a laugh. The silence in your room was jarring. Once again here were your thoughts whispering to you how much of a bad idea seeing Hoon continuously was. In the mall you thought your heart was going to beat its way out of your chest. You had barely registered Mino was with him. That was bad right? To be so focused on one person when you had no business forming ties? You sat on your bed and tried once again not to think about it. You dialed your mother’s number and listened to the ringing noise with all your concentration. “Hello?” “Mom it’s me!” You waited for her to process. “Baby? What number is this?” She asked. You could imagine the look of confusion on her face. “ I smashed my phone and had to get another one.” You explained, “save this number ok?” “Smashed your phone? Oh my god, you said you were being careful out there…” An eyeroll, you were sure her eyes were rolling. “It was an accident.” You said. You swallowed the storm clouds making their way up your throat. “Besides your phone how’s it going out there?” She asked. You flopped down onto your bed. “Fine.” You kicked your legs in frustration, “everything’s fine.” “You sure baby?” She didn’t sound convinced. You closed your eyes, “positive, I’m having fun. This time off was just what I needed.” She paused and you thought you were caught. Well you hoped you had been caught, if she pried it would be like opening a floodgate. The storm would erupt from you and maybe then she could tell you if what you were doing was the stupidest- “I’m so glad you’re feeling better baby.” She said.You clamped your mouth shut and nodded as if she was there to see it. “Because that’s all I wanted...I really wanted you to feel better.”

Technically you didn’t feel worse then when you had first left home. You did feel very different, the crushing feeling was gone. That was old news. You felt alive and more vibrant than you ever had back home. Cherry couldn’t help you get dressed like she wanted. There were actually a few jobs waiting in her inbox that you convinced her to take. They sounded right up her alley and they paid well. “It couldn’t hurt to go.” You had said. “I guess you’re right. I haven’t done too much since I’ve been sick...and I want some new booties.” She had fluffed her hair and put on lipstick in the mirror while she talked. “You’ll be ok catching the train down there?” She asked. “I’ll be fine. You don’t have to worry.” You assured her, “two trains then two blocks and I’m there.” You reiterated. “Good, have fun, tell me everything when you get home.” “Will do.” You handed her keys over. “You have some condoms in your purse right?” She stopped just short of the door to ask you. “Cherry...really?” You shook your head surprised but not really surprised. “Lunch at his house...don’t act like you didn’t think about a little afternoon delight.” She wriggled her eyebrows at you before turning to go, “better safe than sorry.” She said as she opened the door to leave. You watched her go without another word. Two trains then two blocks and you were walking up to his building. You thought you looked nice, a pink crop top, your more shapely jeans nothing too daring. He had obviously told the doorman that you were coming. The small man stood up quickly and walked towards the bank of elevators. “Good Afternoon, floor 15 for you ma’am?” He asked. You nodded and he pressed the button for you, “have a good day.” He said before he pulled his arm back quick enough to let the doors close. You stared at yourself in the elevator door’s reflection and sighed. Did it look like you had tried too hard? You turned one way then the other, maybe the crop top was a bad idea? You put your hand over the sliver of your tummy that was exposed, maybe too much skin? The elevator dinged and you realized you didn’t have time to worry. When the door opened Hoon was there leaning against the far wall. He was looking down at his phone, chewing his lip as he scrolled. “Hey.” You stepped off the elevator. He looked at you and smiled brightly. There went your heart. It thudded hard in your chest as he got closer. He shoved his phone into his back pocket to free up his hands. It felt like you were watching him move in slow motion. He raised his arms and very gently took your face in his hands. His thumb stroked your cheek and it felt like he was studying you, taking you all in. Your heart somehow got louder as he leaned down. “You look really cute.” He said softly before he pecked you on the lips and let you go. He took your hand instead and started to lead you down the hall like it was the most normal thing. “I hope you like pasta,” he walked at an even pace down the carpeted hallway, “well pasta with shrimp.” He added, “because making meatballs didn’t work out for me.” “I like both,” you granted. He stopped at one of the last doors and entered the code. It beeped and he pulled you inside. This time you actually got to look around. He had good taste, simple but with hints of color throughout. It was bright in the living room and you could see the kitchen with all it’s perfect stainless steel appliances. You had been here before. Been ushered through this room before and down the hallway to the right. While he was trying his best to unzip your dress and you were whining at him because you wanted to keep kissing him. He stood patiently until you were done with your shoes, “sit at the table, the noodles are almost done boiling. Then I just have to combine everything.” “How long did it take you?” You followed him to the kitchen, “all morning?” “Well I may or may not have tried making the sauce for the first time last night.” He stood in front of the stove, “but some things...didn’t exactly go my way…” He admitted. “But you were determined,” you stood next to him and peered around his shoulder. It all smelled good. You were actually pretty proud of him, it looked like he had gone through a lot of effort. “Yeah, once I started I couldn’t give up.” He picked up a big wooden spoon. “Plus I knew I was on the right track because this sauce smelled much better.” He stated proudly. You couldn’t stop yourself from laughing. “You taste tested it too right?” You asked. He dipped the spoon into the sauce and started to float it towards your face, his hand tucked under it just incase it dripped. You blew a little on it before you tasted it. It was good, thankfully you didn’t have to fake the “yum” that came out of your mouth. “It’s good?” He asked. “Really good.” You said.

He had in his mind how he wanted everything to go. He would wow you with his cooking skills, then wow you again with his conversation skills, then, when you were all happy and full he even had a present for you. His plan purposely did not include touching you, because he realized the danger of it. But the not touching you part had gone out the window as soon as he saw you step off the elevator. He had to at least peck you, there wasn’t any danger in that really. Mostly. He combined the shrimp and the sauce just like he had seen in the video he watched. You were close to his side, watching. “Do you wanna get out the garlic butter and the french bread?” He asked. “It’s in the fridge.” He said. You moved immediately without a word. Sauce, shrimp, then drain the pasta- “Seunghoon.” He turned to the sound of your voice. “It’s on the second shelf,” You were staring at the photo of yourself that had fallen out of your suitcase when Mino opened it. “How did you get this?” You asked. You pulled it from magnet confused, “this is from my birthday two years ago?” You said. He swallowed, his heart in his throat as he tried to come up with what to say. “Man, this was such a good day, look how happy I am.” You didn’t sound upset. It was more like you couldn’t believe it was you. “Mino opened your suite case to see if there was anyway to tell where you were staying,” he started. “And the picture fell out?” You finished. “I found it under my couch, after we had given each other’s bags back,” He turned the burner down on the stove before he faced you completely, “I was under the impression that I would never see you again and I didn’t want to throw it away. So I kept it there...I’m sorry.” He was praying that you weren’t upset. You sighed as you looked at yourself before you put the photo back in place right next to the photo strip from the boardwalk. “You don’t have to be sorry.” You said, then you were opening the fridge as if nothing was wrong. He watched you get the bread and the butter out to set on the counter. You cut the loaf in half effortlessly then started to spread the butter. “I guess when you saw me at the beer booth it was a bit of a shock.” You said. He turned back to the stove, relieved that you were talking again. “I thought I was seeing things.” He said, “but then there you were saying that ugly tagline, under that god awful picture of the genie.” He laughed and you laughed with him. “Imagine having to say that the whole night.” You said, “but I guess it worked out to be a good thing.” “Because here we are.” He said as he stirred. He walked over to your side of the kitchen and pulled out the strainer, “the video mentioned something about al dente...which I think means harder noodles?” “I’ll eat them either way.” You said as an answer, “I’m not picky.” He didn’[t need to direct you when it came to the bread. You got the over started and put the loaf in by yourself. That freed you up to watch him carefully strain the noodles. “Make sure you shock it with cold water.” You said. “Ok,” He turned the faucet on cold, “go sit, I’ll serve you.” He said. You stayed by his side ignoring the instruction and he didn’t want to fight you. He got two servings together while you pulled the french bread out. He even had enough spring mix for salad. When the two of you did finally sit down it was together. “I don’t have wine,” He realized flatly. “Pour me some juice then, it’s no big deal.” You said. He did with a small smile because this was the only thing you allowed him to serve you. When he sat down again and looked across at you he felt that same warm feeling he felt when he woke up and you were in his arms. You were eating, laughing, smiling. He couldn’t help but notice it was almost as big as the picture on the fridge. He felt more proud of that then the food turning out well. He had done that hadn’t he? He could claim that smile as an accomplishment. The more he looked at you eating across from him, the more he was certain that this wasn’t casual at all. This had to be love.

#winner fanfic #deputy lee #baggage claim #Baggage Claim Series #sfw this time but next time who knows #thanks for bearing with me #eboni especially she's the best #kpop fanfic #kpop fanfiction #my favorite series honestly #lee seunghoon #hoony #winner seunghoon #hoony fanfic

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theasstour · 5 years

Photo

0105. La fille aux cheveux de lin.

Sunday, 7 December 2014

FIC PAGE | CHAPTER SYMPHONY | WORD COUNT: 7.2k

NB: explicit language, alcohol

A/N: special thanks to the legend @sydneysuit for teaching me about the violin! ily abbie!

VOTE FOR SOY AS FEBRUARY FIC OF THE MONTH💛

Y/N needed money. It hadn’t occurred to her just how bad until she stood in the check-out in Tesco, her mum on the phone to ask her for money, and panicked tears in her eyes. So, on this Sunday, Y/N was frantically looking for part-time jobs in the Clapham and Battersea area of London, though she knew she’d most likely end up working in a dodgy tourist shop in Westminster with absolutely rubbish pay. Running both hands through her hair, Y/N stared at the hundreds of different offers, none seeming appealing and none very good. The panic of having no income, of not having enough money for a train ticket home unless her parents paid for it, all came rushing down all at once. Will just have to suck it up, Y/N thought to herself, opening different tabs on her browser with all the jobs she could apply to.

Her pulse rising, Y/N let her eyes fall shut for a few seconds before she focused on the work ahead. She would have to write a CV, probably ask her dad for help as he had already offered to do so. Ever since Y/N was 13 and had her first anxiety attack, her parents had been eager to learn more about it. Neither of them were very anxious people themselves, but for their daughter, they would try to understand and learn as they wanted to know what to do if it ever occurred again. Whenever Y/N would show signs of being extra anxious, her parents would always be by her side to calm her down. Before Y/N could even open her phone to call her dad, there came a knock from her door.

“Who is it?” She asked, ready to make an excuse so she wouldn’t have to be social. She was sitting in her lounge wear, a fluffy pink blanket draped around her shoulders, and the white light from the cloudy day outside shining in through the window to her left.

“Tiana.”

“What’s up?” Y/N asked as her flatmate poked her head in through the door.

“Can I chill? Or are you busy?”

Y/N looked back at the jobs she would be applying for later but closed her laptop to show Tiana she had all her attention. Tiana put Y/N’s doorstop in under the slit at the bottom, the sound of cutlery being used in the kitchen and someone laughing making Y/N aware that her and Tiana weren’t the only two up before 11am. Sitting down in Y/N’s bed and nicking one of her blankets, Tiana sighed heavily, back resting against the cold concrete wall.

“You know what we were talking about the other day?” Tiana asked, running her hand over the soft fabric of Y/N’s blanket. “About the housing situation next year?”

Over Domino’s three weeks prior, after the pregnancy scare, Tiana had asked Y/N if she had given any thought as to where she’d be living the next two years of uni, as student accommodation provided by the university was only offered to first-years or international students. Y/N, who mostly spent her time either in her head or in a state of unescapable stress, had not. When revealing this to Tiana, she gave her a soft smile, the kind that made Y/N realise she had done good befriending this girl. Curled up in each their blanket and Tiana’s laptop perched on a chair before the bed playing Friends, a pizza in each their lap and the scent of peace in the air, Y/N became aware of the fact that she very much did not think she’d experience anything like this. When she went to uni, she had not thought she’d experience friendship like what her and Tiana shared. And it made her very happy when Tiana asked, “Should we move in together then?”

And so they were. They had been looking at flats, but the two-bed student ones were few, especially in the Battersea, Clapham, Wandsworth, Chelsea and Brixton area. They wanted to stay close to uni, to not have to use the tube as it would be too expensive in the long run.

“We’re going to end up in bloody Hackney if we don’t find a place soon.” Tiana said, crossing her legs.

“We’re both so busy, though.” Y/N reasoned, turning her chair around and resting her legs on the bed. “And besides, Christmas Break starts this Friday, we won’t be able to find somewhere before then.”

Tiana sighed. “Yea, I know. But I so wanted to find something before Christmas.”

“Me too.”

“I found this really nice flat, with hardwood flooring and double beds, but guess where it was?”

“Where?”

“Fucking Holloway.” Tiana rolled her eyes. “I swear to God, nothing nice is anywhere near Battersea uni.”

“Guess loads of pairs are moving in together.” Y/N said. “Finn found a place, he told me last night while we were eating dinner.”

“Really?” Tiana asked. “Where?”

“Alfriston Road. Right by Clapham Common.”

“Of course he’s right by Clapham Common, the lucky git.” Tiana groaned again, taking the elastic band off from around her wrist and putting her hair up in a ponytail. “Why can’t we be lucky?”

“It’s a cruel world.”

“Amen.” Tiana said, looking up at Y/N’s ceiling. “Did he tell you how many he’s moving in with or if it’s just by himself?”

“He didn’t mention anyone, so probs by himself.”

Tiana took her phone out of her hoodie, looking at the time before throwing it down on the bed. “Let’s just keep looking over the Christmas Break, and hopefully we can go to some viewings when we get back.”

Y/N nodded, looking to her open door as the door into the kitchen opened and closed. She saw Annie reaching for the door handle to walk up to the second floor. Never before had Y/N concluded and done something this fast, but she got an idea the second she saw Annie.

“Annie?”

The flatmate looked in at Y/N, giving her a small smile.

“Wanna come chill?”

The smile grew bigger and Annie walked into Y/N’s room, sitting down on the bed next to Tiana who gave her some of her blanket so they could share it and warm each other up.

“Have you thought anything about your housing situation for next year?”

Tiana lit up, gasping a little as she laid a hand on Annie’s thigh, grinning so big that you’d think her face would split in two. Annie, most likely thinking Tiana mad, stared at Y/N with a bit of an open mouth, shaking her head.

“Not really.”

“Do you want to move in with the two of us?” Tiana asked, having caught onto Y/N’s train of thought pretty quickly.

Annie seemed a little shocked, letting her brown eyes scan Tiana’s face and then Y/N’s, going back and forth between the two. Trying to show her with a small smile that it was okay for her to say no, Y/N moved her chair closer to the bed, not wanting Annie to seem intimidated in any way, but also wanting to let her know that she really wished she would say yes. But Annie’s facial expression softened, somehow seeing it on both of her flatmates’ faces that they truly hoped she would move in with them.

“Yea.” Annie said. “Yea, I think that would be good.”

“Yay!” Tiana clapped her hands together before throwing her arms around Annie and laughing into her shoulder. “We’re going to have the best time together, I just know it!”

“We have been trying to find a two-bedroom flat, but it’s literally impossible.” Y/N explained, smiling at Annie.

“God,” Tiana sighed. “We were so scared we’d end up in Hackney, and you just saved us. There are so many three-bedroom places out there, especially around Battersea and Clapham. Oh, my God,” Tiana got out of Y/N’s bed, clapping and jumping up and down. “We might actually find a house together and we’ll have the best time!” She opened her arms, giggling. “Group hug!”

Y/N laughed and both her and Annie got up, the three of them embracing each other and Tiana jumping up and down, her excitement too much for her body to handle. The three friends just stood there holding onto one another, knowing that this might just be the best decision of the year. Euphoria filled all of them, security of having a small indication of what the future would hold for them making the small gang hold onto one another even tighter. They hung out some more, looking at some flats and just chatting about anything and everything. Spencer joined them for a bit, sitting on Y/N’s floor and helping them find someplace nice to live. Whenever he had the time, he’d spend time with the flat, but he was incredibly busy with uni and would mostly spend time in his room. However, he mostly liked hanging out like this when he wasn’t studying; in a relaxed and quiet environment. Spencer revealed he had moved loads growing up, and his dad had shown him what to look for and what questions to ask when going for viewings. He wrote them all down for the gang of three, making them promise to ask him anything if they were unsure about a flat or anything of the sort. As he left and walked on his way to the kitchen, a shout from Ian’s room sounded, clearly excited to see Spencer, and the two boys went into the kitchen where Finn and Becky were hanging out.

Annie left after a while also, explaining that she had a report due tomorrow that she needed to finish. So, once again, it was just Y/N and Tiana in Y/N’s room. Getting up to close the door, Y/N put her laptop back on her desk before turning to Tiana who had suddenly grown very quiet. If it was one thing Y/N didn’t do, it was press for information that wasn’t hers to ask for. Like why Tiana was quiet, or why she had a very distant look in her eyes Y/N had never seen before. Instead, she waited it out till Tiana snapped out of whatever train of thought she had been on, eyes meeting Y/N’s. Y/N let her stare speak volumes, making Tiana sigh heavily as she knew what Y/N was doing. She folded her hands in her lap.

“Danny and I stopped seeing each other.”

Y/N frowned a bit, crossing her arms as she kept silent.

“He… He just said he didn’t want to any longer.” Tiana said. “And I don’t know what to do anymore- What to do with that information. He’s obviously done with us, but… I don’t… I don’t think I am.”

With that, Y/N got out of the chair and sat down with Tiana. Draping the fluffy blanket over herself as well, Y/N wrapped an arm around her friend, silently offering her shoulder to lean on. And Tiana accepted. Head on Y/N’s shoulder and her eyes staring blankly out into nothing, Tiana did not elaborate. Did not air any theories as to why Danny would break them up, or if they had even been serious enough to consider themselves a couple in the first place. But Y/N wouldn’t press for information, wouldn’t force Tiana to say anything she did not want to. It was so unlike Tiana not to talk, not to think out loud, and Y/N knew that if she did not, it would all end in her crying. Danny and Tiana had seen each other loads, had hung out at Danny’s flat in Cotton Row and in Tiana’s room in Westbridge, and it would be weird for Tiana to continue on with life at uni without Danny around her. So, instead of telling Tiana she would be better off without the twat that was Danny Hales; that she could do better than him, Y/N let her embrace speak for her. It was no use talking when talking would cause even more pain; to put words to your feelings and thoughts when your body was already doing that for you. So, the two friends just sat there, leaning against one another and not speaking, because neither of them had to.

It didn’t matter what day of the week it was, students would always found a reason – or just not give a reason at all – to drink. Maybe it had been a rough week; maybe the essay you handed in last night was so shit it gave you a headache; maybe it was because you missed the taste of alcohol on the back of your tongue. Whatever reason, flat 34 of Westbridge had decided to sit down together in the kitchen that Sunday to drink. Tiana, Becky and Y/N had gone to Tesco to get some alcohol each. Tiana helped Y/N pick a bottle of white wine, while both Tiana and Becky got vodka and some cranberry juice themselves. Y/N tried not to make it show just how much she disliked the mere sight of cranberry juice. When they got back, Y/N worked some more on her violin, trying to get the Paganini Caprice No. 24 right. After rehearsing it over and over and over, Y/N seemed to finally start to get the hang of things. She suddenly felt incredibly relieved, like a weight was beginning to lift from her chest and shoulders. After weeks of preparing, she was beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. With some more days of rehearsing, she would be ready to go for the exam on Tuesday.

Evening came, and Y/N walked out into the kitchen to make herself some dinner. Finn, Ian and Spencer were already sitting by the table eating, giving nods of greeting before continuing on with their conversation.

“That’s what Wade said, at least.” Finn said, shoving a spoonful of soup into his mouth. “On Thursday.”

“But ain’t their flat like… really small?” Ian asked, resting his back against the wall and his speaker in his hand, ready for later.

“Yea, so it’s going to be interesting.” Finn continued, Y/N putting some penne pasta into her saucepan that was starting to heat up. “Probs going to be sick, though.”

“But very crowded and messy.” Spencer continued. Y/N didn’t want to ask what was going on or what they were discussing, the slightly nosy side of her hoped they would elaborate more.

“El and Blessing won’t care, will they?” Finn sighed, sitting back in his chair and sighing heavily. “They rarely care for anyone but themselves, Harry says.”

Y/N looked over at the boys for a second, Ian bobbing his head in agreement and Finn putting his spoon back in his now empty bowl. Quickly, she focused her eyes on her food, swirling a spoon around in her pasta.

“So, Blessing and El are having a party? And neither Wade nor Harry are okay with it?” Spencer asked.

“Nope. Haven’t really been very fond of the two girls since the very beginning, to be honest. Never really spoke warmly of them.” Finn snickered. “Danny is keen, though. And he’s basically the boss, Harry says. Whatever Danny says goes.”

“Huge fan of Harry, are we?” Ian teased, winking at Finn as Spencer snickered. The door into the kitchen opened, Tiana and Becky entering. Y/N smiled at Tiana who walked over to her, giving her a hug as Finn let out a loud laugh.

“Man’s a fucking legend. Simply cannot resist his charm.”

“Who?” Becky asked, sitting now between Spencer and Finn.

“Harry.” Ian said, connecting his phone to the speaker so they could start listening to music.

“Ah.” She nodded, opening her vodka bottle. “Same. Bloody irresistible.”

“You got a thing for him?” Finn asked, getting up to wash his bowl.

“Fancy him like mad. Been trying to make it obvious to him since we started hanging out, but he doesn’t seem to take the hint.” Becky watched Finn as he walked over to the sink, clearly onto something. “You know him well, yea?”

“We chill abouts every day, yea. Why?”

“Ti, can you fetch me a glass, please?” Becky smiled at Tiana who did as she was asked, sitting down in a free chair afterwards. “Thanks.” Becky turned her attention back to Finn. “Could you help me out then?”

Finn put his bowl in the dish drainer. “Want me to tell him you wanna shag?”

“Don’t be blunt about it.” Becky rolled her eyes. “Just ask him if he’s interested and then talk me up.”

“Why can’t you just do it yourself?” Finn walked back and sat down, arms crossed over his chest.

“Because the times I’ve tried talking to him we’ve been around loads of other people, and it really hasn’t been the time.”

“But if you’re hammered at a party, that is the time to talk to him.”

Finn and Becky continued to talk, but Y/N zoned out, not really in the mood to listen in on a conversation she did not care for. She finished her dinner and walked over to the table just as Annie emerged, sitting down beside her. Everyone got their alcohol out, and the flat was at it again. Y/N ate her pasta while sipping on her white wine, feeling the effect of the liquor as early as she always did. She had never really been used to drinking back home in Hawkley, and almost felt ashamed at how fast she felt a little dizzy from the alcohol wrapping itself tightly around her brain. She tried not to say anything, though. Just eating her pasta and keeping quiet unless otherwise spoken to. Once she was done however, she got up out of her seat and walked over to the sink, swaying a little. Ian howled with laughter.

“You alright, Y/N?”

Y/N smiled back at him, and the rest of the gang laughed along. She came back after washing up her dishes, the night continuing on in a blur. They just sat talking, singing along to Don’t Look Back in Anger and moaning about how much each one of them had to do for the tons of exams they had this coming and last week before Christmas. Tiana was complaining about how they should have gotten a Christmas tree for the flat, and at the thought of Christmas, of going home to his family, Finn started crying a bit. It was an incredibly fun night. And around 00:30am, Finn got a snapchat from Wade.

“Bloody hell.” He mumbled. “Boys, look at this.”

He held his phone out for everyone to see. Cotton Row flat 8 did not look good. Alcohol was spilled on the floor, one of the chairs in their little kitchen was ruined, glass was shattered, and something brown was smeared all over their white cupboards.

“Looks like the party El and Blessing held went to literal shit.” Tiana said, pointing to the cupboards, making Y/N giggle.

Finn started texting Wade, concentration etched in the furrows of his brows. The party at flat 8 Cotton Row was soon forgotten as conversation rose around the table again. Y/N sipped the last of her wine, eyes gliding over the room. With the alcohol buzzing through her body, hot numbness in her shoulders, fingers and toes, Y/N felt oddly at peace. The people around the table were people she had now lived with for three months, and she felt very calm around them. Like if she opened her mouth right now to say something, she was somehow sure they wouldn’t look at her weird and mock her. It was a good feeling. And some minutes later, Y/N’s phone vibrated. Thinking it was a text from Edward, she fished the phone out of her pocket to answer him.

Harry Eloise and Blessing had a party at our flat.

Just reading his name made an involuntary smile creep onto Y/N’s face. Biting her bottom lip so no one around the table would see her grinning, she typed back to him.

Y/N Finn showed us a snap Wade sent.

Harry It’s ridiculous. They let people into my room and now it’s fucking disgusting in there.

Y/N frowned a little.

Y/N They let people into your room? Why?

Harry Because they’re both dead from the neck up.

Y/N looked up from her phone to think, but quickly looked down as another text came rolling in.

Harry Said they’d clean it up in the morning, but I don’t really feel like sleeping in a room smelling of apples Sourz.

Y/N Does it smell vile?

Harry Not vile, just of bad memories from my 16-year-old self drinking a whole bottle and throwing up lime green sick at 4am in my bed.

Y/N giggled, and Tiana quickly looked over, eyebrows arched.

“What’s this?”

“Just Edward sending me a meme.” Y/N explained.

Tiana cocked her head a little before looking away from Y/N. Y/N knew she knew it wasn’t Edward she was texting and was very grateful that Tiana didn’t press her for information. Turning back to her phone, Y/N answered.

Y/N I’ve never had some.

Harry You haven’t?

Y/N Nope.

Harry You’re not really missing out. Tastes like sweet piss.

Y/N bit her tongue from laughing out loud. She looked up as Finn threw his head back and laughed, clearly amused by something Spencer had said, who was also laughing. Y/N looked around at everyone, Taking Body by Tove Lo playing in the background as her flatmates started a loud conversation again, laughter hanging comfortably in the air.

Harry Smells like sweet piss as well. Can’t wait to literally gain 5 stone just inhaling Sourz all night.

Y/N You could sleep here.

Y/N didn’t register she was typing it until she had sent the text off to Harry. He usually answered right away, always quick to get back to anyone who wanted his attention, but at this he seemed to stop for a bit. Y/N watched her phone intently, her anxiety taking over as she started typing another message apologising, saying that someone took her phone and sent that message to him as a joke. If there was someone she didn’t want to scare away, it was Harry. She had no idea why, but the time they had spent together had made her very happy, and he seemed to care for her well-being more than most of her friends from back home in Hawkley. She didn’t want him to think that she was offering to have sex with him, that that was the only reason she wanted him to come over. She just didn’t want him to be uncomfortable in his own house. And besides, if El and Blessing said they’d clean it up the next day, then Harry wouldn’t need to sleep over two nights in a row. Y/N was about to hit send.

Harry You sure?

She blinked. Did he want to then? He wasn’t weirded out by her asking? So many questions ran through Y/N’s mind, and none could be answered unless Harry showed up and actually stayed the night.

Y/N Yea.

Harry Cheers. On my way. See you in 10.

Y/N put her phone back on the table, not really knowing what she had just done. If she had not been drunk, then she wasn’t sure she would’ve even had the balls to ask, but with alcohol in her system, asking Harry hadn’t seemed to scary. Not that she thought he’d cut her off if she ever offered her room for him to sleep in would he need it, but putting herself out there, exposing herself to possible rejection, made Y/N so uncomfortable she felt a slight cold shiver go up her spine at the mere thought. Y/N watched as Finn went up to walk to the bathroom and bit her lip as her eyes fell to her phone again. Harry would be here any minute now, and for some reason she felt nervous. Harry would never make her uncomfortable, she knew that, but just being around her made her nervous in a way she had a hard time explaining.

Harry Outside.

Y/N got up from her chair, taking her phone with her and leaving her empty wine bottle on the table. Walking over to the door, she was stopped by Tiana’s cough.

“Where are you going?”

Y/N blinked, mouth falling open as she thought of a reply. “A-A bit tired. Think I’m just going to head to bed.”

“Aww.” Tiana pouted as the conversation around the table continued on. “Hope you wake up well rested tomorrow. Nightie, sweets.”

“Goodnight.”

“Harry!”

Y/N had just opened the door when Finn, emerging from the downstairs toilet, saw Harry waiting outside their front door. Not really knowing what to do now, Y/N stood motionless as Finn opened the door, letting Harry in. With an arm around his shoulders, Finn walked Harry into the kitchen, the biggest grin on his drunk face as they walked into the communal area, stopping in the middle of the room. Y/N watched from the door, biting her lip.

“What’re you doing here, mate? Want a beer?”

“No, I’m good.” Harry answered as Finn let go of him to fetch one for himself.

“You sure? Everyone’s pretty much legless.”

Harry let go of a chuckle. “No, I’m not really here to get drunk, Finn.”

“Oh?” Finn raised his eyebrows. “To see your handsome mate, is that it?”

Harry laughed, and Y/N noticed how Becky seemed to be so entranced, so incredibly captivated by Harry, that she almost felt a little bad. But as soon as that feeling resurfaced, it disappeared. Because looking down at her exposed cleavage, Becky made sure to press her upper arms against her sides, making it bigger. And for some reason, Y/N suddenly didn’t like Becky very much. She hadn’t really cared much for her obsession with Harry before, but this she did not like.

Harry turned around to Y/N. “You good?”

She nodded.

He smiled before looking back at the rest of the gang. “Have a lovely night. Don’t drink too much, Finn.”

The looks on everyone’s faces as Harry turned around, opening the door for Y/N to walk through, was so priceless that Y/N wished she could’ve taken a picture of it. Everyone sat there open-mouthed, either smiling or just completely dumbfounded. The only one who didn’t look either was Becky, who seemed so offended Y/N didn’t know what would happen next time the two of them had a conversation. Harry gave Y/N a small smile, and she walked through the door and down the hall toward her room.

“You sleepy, then?” Harry asked, hands in his black aviator jacket pockets.

“A bit, but once I start brushing my teeth and stuff my brain kind of tells me to become tired enough to go to bed, if it makes sense?”

Harry giggled, walking into Y/N’s room and closing the door. “No.”

She smiled, rolling her eyes at him. “I don’t know how you want… how you want…” She gestured at her bed, avoiding his eyes.

Harry smiled. “I’ll take the floor, Y/N. It’s carpeted.”

“Right.” She nodded. “But do take all the pillows and blankets in my bed and make yourself comfortable on the floor, yea? I know it’s carpeted but once I slept on a carpeted floor and my back hurt for a week.”

Harry laughed, taking his jacket off and hanging it on the hanger by the door. He was wearing a pair of black drawstring waist joggers, a pair of white vans, and a white tee shirt. His glasses were perched on his nose, hair in disarray, but Y/N found him so handsome just then that there didn’t seem to be anything wrong about his hair being a little greasy or a spot starting to form on his chin.

“Why did you sleep on a carpeted floor?” Harry asked, taking his shoes off and walking over to Y/N’s bed to take the 500 blankets and pillows to make his own bed on the floor.

“A friend’s birthday party. I didn’t bring a sleeping bag or air mattress myself.” She said, putting some toothpaste on her toothbrush. “So, I had to sleep on the floor.”

Harry frowned, making his bed. “That’s rough. They could’ve at least given you a proper bed to sleep in if it was at a friends’ house.”

Y/N shrugged her shoulders as she started brushing her teeth. “Didn’t really care.”

Harry stopped putting blankets and pillows on the floor to look over at Y/N, a frown on his face. They shared a glance through the mirror in front of Y/N, and her heart started racing a little.

“Didn’t really have any nice friends back in Hawkley if I’m being completely honest.” She said through her toothbrush, not caring that Harry saw the white of the paste at the edge of her mouth.

“Fuck, Y/N, I’m sorry.”

“No need to be.” Y/N said, trying to smile. “I’m here now.”

At this, Harry softened a bit, the edges of his mouth twitching into a smile. “Yea.” He said, something in his voice she couldn’t quite put her finger on. “You are.”

Silence fell over them then, and Y/N watched as Harry made himself comfortable. Laying down on the floor, he whipped his phone out and started texting away and looking through his Instagram feed. Y/N spat out her toothpaste and put face cream on, making sure to rub it in good and softly before she turned all the lights except for the fairy lights above her bed off. She crawled into her bed, still fully clothed and put her duvet comfortably over her frame. Sighing deeply, Y/N opened her phone as well.

Tiana OH YM FUCKING GOD YOU AND HARRY??????

Tiana Y/N I SWEAR TO GOD WHAT THE FUCK

Tiana YOU AND HARRY

Tiana ARE YOU SHAGGING?? TELL ME YOU’RE NOT ONLY SHAGGING HIM HE’S WAY TOO CUTE TO ONLY BE A SHAG

Tiana BECKY IS SO FUCKIGN MAD OH MY GOD Y/N

Giggling, Y/N answered Tiana.

Y/N El and Blessing’s guests trashed his room so I offered my floor for the night.

Tiana So you’re just friends?

Y/N Yea.

Tiana Sounds fake, but okay.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you.” Harry said a she put his phone on silent and turned it off. “What is your favourite thing to eat in the whole entire world?”

Y/N frowned. “Favourite… thing? You mean food, right?”

“No.” Harry said. “I mean thing, like do you enjoy eating loo rolls or books better?”

Y/N laughed, and so did Harry, grinning up at her in the faint light above her.

“No, I mean foods, yea.”

Y/N hummed as she thought for a bit. “Probably Caramels.”

“Caramel?”

“The Scottish biscuits?”

“Oh!” Harry nodded. “Right. Yea, yea, yea. They’re fucking delicious.”

“I know!”

Harry smiled. “Mine has got to be Chinese takeout. Tastes as good the morning after as it does fresh.”

“Never had it.”

Harry paused. “You’ve never had Chinese?”

“I come from a small village in the middle of nowhere in Hampshire, of course I haven’t.” Y/N said. “I’ve basically been eating Sunday Roast seven days a week for 19 years.”

Harry huffed. “Nothing better than a good Sunday Roast, yea?”

“Absolutely nothing.” Y/N agreed.

“Best thing about a Sunday Roast?”

“The Yorkshires.”

“What?!” Harry narrowed his eyes. “No way! It’s the potatoes. Everyone knows the roast potatoes are the best thing about life itself.”

“I stand by what I said.”

“Roast potatoes with gravy?” Harry suggested. “Come on, it’s the best thing invented.”

“It’s good, but not as good as Yorkshires with gravy.” Y/N giggled as Harry closed his eyes in frustration. “Sorry.”

Harry removed his glasses, rubbing his hands over his face. “I cannot believe this.”

“Can’t believe you’ve done this?”

Harry’s arms fell to his sides. “A Vine reference, huh?”

“You know them?”

“Know them?” Harry smiled. “I breathe them, darling.”

Y/N giggled. “Good, couldn’t have been seen with you if you didn’t.”

Harry smiled, rubbing at his eyes. It was 1am after all, so no wonder both of them were tired and ready for bed. But Y/N started talking before she could help herself. She saw the tattoos on his right arm, from his elbow and down to his wrist. All the numbers she had been thinking about for well over a month now. Needing to know what they meant.

“Your tattoos.” Y/N blurted. “What do they mean?”

Harry put his glasses on again before holding his arm up so they both could see them. “Promise not to think I’m a bloody plonker for it?”

“You already are in general so-“

“-Alright!” Harry looked up at her, making her laugh. “Don’t hold back! Do fire off insults!”

“I’m sorry!” Y/N chuckled. “I won’t think you daft. Go on.”

Harry held his arm up again. “It’s all the articles that made me want to study Law.”

Y/N smiled a little, intrigued.

“Which articles?”

“Most from the Human Rights and Equality Commission.” He explained. “The Human Rights Act.”

Without thinking, Y/N reached forward and placed her index at the very top where 2.1 was written. Slowly she let her finger trace down until it reached Harry’s pulse, to the light blue veins there, that beat along to the rhythm of his heart. Harry looked up at her, studying her make-up less face and the look on her face. He hadn’t expected her to touch him like this, to want to know about his tattoo, to want to know him like this, but he couldn’t help but want to share every little detail of his life with her. So, tearing his eyes away from her face, he glanced at her finger until she drew back, wondering if she had felt just how quick his heart had been beating.

“2.1.” Y/N said, eyes taking in the tattoos.

“Article 2: Right to life.” Harry said. “’Everyone’s right to life shall be protected by law. No one shall be deprived of his life intentionally save in the execution of a sentence of a court following his conviction of a crime for which the penalty is provided by law.’”

Y/N met his eyes. “You know the articles?”

He smiled. “Each and every one.”

Y/N smiled back, looking at his forearm. “10.1?”

“Article 5: Freedom of expression.” He started. “’Everyone has the right to freedom of expression. This right shall include freedom to hold opinions and to receive and impart information and ideas without interference by public authority and regardless of frontiers.’”

Y/N, incredibly fascinated, went on. “7.1?”

“Article 7: No punishment without law.” Harry smiled at how much she wanted to know. “’No one shall be held guilty of any criminal offence on account of any act or omission which did not constitute a criminal offence under national law at the time when it was committed. Nor shall a heavier penalty be imposed than the one that was applicable at the time the criminal offence was committed.”

Y/N closed her eyes, the sound of Harry’s soothing voice lulling her to sleep. “You really know all this?”

“Yea.” Harry let his arm rest beside him. “I do.”

Y/N smiled. “That’s so impressive.”

“Is it?”

“I didn’t know any of the human rights.” She giggled. “Well, I knew some but not this well.”

Harry smiled, studying her as she fell closer and closer to sleep. “It’s what I study after all.”

“Yea, but you’re good at it.”

“At remembering?”

“Yea.”

“I’ve always found law and stuff like that interesting. It’s what ties all of humanity together in a way, you know? The Human Rights are something we all have in common; something we all strive for and work for.”

Y/N smiled a little wider. “I love that.”

“I want to work in the EU, maybe move to Brussels.”

“Do you know what you’d do? Like what kind of job you’d have?”

Harry shook his head, but when looking up at Y/N, seeing that her eyes were close and her breathing heavy, he stopped himself from answering. She might not be totally asleep, but she was close to it. And he wasn’t about to wake her. She’d had a long day probably. So, giving her a little smile, Harry flicked the switch on the plug, letting the room fall into darkness, and he went to sleep also.

Tuesday, 9 December 2014

“Y/N, your turn.” Mr Goddard said, motioning for Y/N to get out of her seat and walk to the front of the class.

Y/N had been deep in her own thoughts until she heard her name being called. Mentally, she had been in her bed that previous Monday morning, Harry standing hunched by her bed, shaking her lightly awake. She had rubbed her eyes and glanced at him while he smiled at her.

“I’m sorry.” He had said. “Wish I didn’t have to wake you up, but felt weird not telling you that I was leaving.”

Y/N frowned. “You’re… You’re leaving?”

Looking down on the floor she saw that his bed was indeed gone. All her pillows and blankets laid folded on her desk. Blinking a few times, she started sitting up in bed.

“No, no, no.” Harry said, pushing her lightly down. “No need to wake up, know you don’t have any lectures on Mondays.”

Y/N frowned. “How?”

“Finn.”

Y/N nodded, looking at her blankets again.

“But I do.” Harry informed. “Completely forgot I did, but I have one in approximately-“ He checked the time on his phone. “-15 minutes.”

Y/N nodded again, not really knowing what to say.

“I’ll see you, yea?”

She nodded again. And then Harry walked out of her room and away. She had not seen him since. But as she rose to her feet in Ensemble I, Y/N forgot all about Harry and Sunday night, Monday morning, and everything in between, before, and after. With her violin in her hand, she walked to the front of class, looking at all of the students before her. Teresa smiled at her, giving her a thumbs up, and Y/N tried to calm herself down, knowing that if she did just that, then everything would turn out fine. Placing the sheets on the stand in front of her just in case, Y/N brought the violin up to her neck and chin. She closed her eyes, trying to relax completely before opening them again to focus on the sheet before her, and then on the piece.

Paganini’s Caprice No. 24 started flowing from Y/N’s violin as she played. With a light grip of her fingers and thumb, bow gliding over the strings quickly, Y/N felt in complete control. If one managed to play a Paganini piece without failing, one felt like the most powerful person in the universe afterward, like playing it was like overcoming a hug obstacle. As much as Y/N loved playing the violin, the feeling afterward when you were done, having completed and mastered a tricky piece, she felt so amazing it was hard to properly put into words.

Pressing her fingers onto the fingerboard as hard and fast as she possibly could, a furrow to her brow as she tried to concentrate. But her mind suddenly went elsewhere. She started thinking about going home. The sight of the Picot Farm when driving down the mud road, trees surrounding her and birds singing all around. Edward in the gate into the farm, waving his arms at her and shouting her name. The cows not even a little bit interested in the vehicle making its way past them. Suddenly, it was very hard to concentrate on the piece. It was hard to move her fingers quick enough and it was hard to see the notes through the blurriness of her eyes.

She failed. Stopping completely once she started hitting the wrong notes; once it all started to sound very bad. Panicked, Y/N looked down at her sheet, blinking away the tears, and then meeting Teresa’s gaze. She smiled at her, mouthing at her to try again.

“Again.” Goddard said.

Y/N knew you got three tried in total. So, she had to play her best this time or the time after. Leaning her chin on the violin again, she glanced at the neck, her fingers lightly pressed against it as she started playing again. She watched her fingers this time, knowing that if she saw herself play then surely she couldn’t do anything wrong. Quickly, her fingers moved over the strings, Paganini once again gracing the room. Everyone was impressed. Y/N was an incredible violinist, she knew this herself as the only thing she was really confident about was her ability to play the violin. When she played and felt the quietness around her, all eyes on her and her violin, she didn’t much mind being the centre of attention. As long as it was the kind of attention she wanted herself, that she created, then she liked it.

But as she started thinking about everyone else in the room, about what everyone else might be thinking of her where she stood, she lost focus again. This time quicker than the one before. It was then that she realised just how bad she had screwed herself over by picking a Paganini piece, especially Caprice No. 24 that needed all the focus and discipline in the world. It was such a complex and fast-tempoed piece, and Y/N knew right then that whichever way she played this next and last time, she would not be able to go through with it.

“Go on, Y/N.” Goddard said.

No matter how much Y/N didn’t like him, there was a tone of encouragement in his voice that made her sigh with relief. She started once again, looking at her fingers and then at the sheet. But she missed another note, placed her index incorrectly, felt a drop of sweat run down the back of her neck, and knew right away that she was done. Removing her violin from her shoulder, she looked at Goddard, giving him the slightest smile before walking back to her seat next to Teresa. The seminar room was a little to quiet, and no one seemed to move or breathe or speak until Goddard called the name of the next student. Y/N put her violin away and sat back up, straightening her back and bringing her phone forth. She found her mum in her messages.

Y/N I’m going home for Christmas today, can dad and Edward pick me up at the train station around 8? Just failed an exam and I don’t want to be here anymore. I’ll leave as soon as my seminar is over.

She put her phone away again, looking up at the boy who sat down in front of the piano. Swallowing hard, Y/N fought the tears from falling, knowing that once one did, the rest of surely follow. Teresa reached over and took Y/N’s hand in hers, squeezing it hard. When looking over at her friend she didn’t look at her, Teresa’s eyes were on the guy playing. And for some reason, not having anyone look at her right then, was exactly what Y/N needed as she felt her bottom lip almost wobble.

TAGLIST

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multisfabulis · 5 years

Text

The Road to Forgiveness Be Damned

Redemption for a Blameless Sin (Chapter 3/7)

Word Count: 7525

TW: Depiction of PTSD flashback, mention of childhood abuse, self harm, body/eye horror, suicide, depiction of euthanasia

In the midst of a depressing two months, I finally finished this chapter! This might be the longest chapter I have for this series and that’s because A LOT of stuff goes down here. Going by the amount of trigger warnings above, this is also the darkest chapter I have, which is an emotional rollercoaster, to say the least.

I’ve done my best in giving the topics present in this the respect they deserve but I wouldn’t be surprised if I still screwed up somewhere. I mean no offense by what I wrote and I can only promise to be better if/when I explore these topics again.

Read on AO3 | Read on DA

A yawn escaped from Ven’s mouth as she brushed her hair. She spent a good chunk of last night reading her mother’s journal. The small glimpses into her life made her want to continue reading, no matter how drowsy she got. She was only able to push through the first few pages before she stopped for the night. Today was too important to risk screwing up on.

She and Ferreth would soon set off for the swamp to slay their quarry. Although they had no concrete plan as of now, the groundwork was at least there. Step one: kill the creature, step two: inform Filaurel of the deed, and step three: reap in the reward. Third step was still up in the air, however.

As she finished pulling her hair back into the usual ponytail, Ferreth asked her, “How was your reading last night?”

“It was…” she paused, searching for the right word to use, “interesting, to say the least.”

“Not what you expected?”

“You… could say that.”

She then described some of what she had read through. While some of the entries were typical for someone of Thessalia’s age, others were more… suggestive. It wasn’t till the 3rd or 4th entry of that kind she realized her mother was a woman who avoided commitment like it was the plague. Nothing wrong with that, it just didn’t fit the image she had of her.

“While it’s a little awkward to read--” she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear-- “it still lets me know who my mother was back then.”

“Hey, whatever works, right?”

“Mm-hmm.”

They left the house in a moment’s time. Everything was about the same as usual as they walked towards the outskirts. It seemed to be quieter today, a small difference compared to the day before. This was more of the Thal Esari she experienced from her childhood, remembering how she used to be out more when it was quiet. It felt strangely nostalgic, something she never thought she’d miss.

A crack from nearby seized her heart. It was something she was terribly familiar with and it sounded just as awful as it did way back when. Her stomach roiled as she tried to fight the urge to vomit.

Her past and present were beginning to blur together into a kind of mismatched “reality”. Tall, dark figures flickered in and out of her vision, surrounding her for one second and then disappearing the next. Her throat felt seemingly sore from the imaginary cries for help she knew would fall on deaf ears. Blistering heat flared up all across her back from both the lashings and the dirt stinging the open wounds. She fell to the ground, clutching her chest, as tears filled her eyes.

She needed to do something, anything, to ground herself back to reality. It didn’t matter what but it had to be now. She took out the knife she kept hidden away in her cloak and sliced her left hand open.

It easily cut through the fabric of her glove as well as the skin on her palm. Good thing she sharpened it before coming here. Scarlet blood bled from her wound, though the black cloth of her glove did well to disguise it. She then opened and closed her hand tightly several times in an attempt to magnify the pain.

You’re okay, she kept repeating to herself. You’re not a little kid anymore. There’s nothing they can do to hurt you. Ferret wouldn’t dare let anyone hurt you again. Breathe in, then breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.

The nausea she felt soon settled and her breathing steadied itself. The figures her mind conjured up vanished like the illusions they were. Her voice no longer felt like it was stuck, hearing her breaths come out clearly. The burning sensation across the span of her back was absent yet her scars still ached. Despite the dulling pain in her hand, she was okay. She was safe.

Crouched down next to her, Ferreth asked her worriedly, “Ven, you okay? You need somewhere quiet?”

“I’m fine,” she replied, her voice hoarse, “I just got a little sick, is all.”

“...Come on, let’s get out of here.”

Upon helping her up, he kept an arm around her waist to have her lean on him as they walked through the gates. Her legs felt weak as her head spun so she appreciated him acting as a wall of sorts for her. Those attacks always left her feeling like she had been put through the wringer after they passed.

He sat her down in the shade of a nearby tree and gave her some water to drink. It flowed down her throat with ease, cooling her insides. She felt her dizziness lighten some as she wiped away the beads of sweat that formed on her forehead.

“You all right?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m just…” She let out a small breath. “A little dizzy, that��s all.”

“You sure? You haven’t gone down like that in a while, you know,” he said while brushing a stray lock of hair away from her face.

“Ferret.” She gave him a small smile. “I’m okay.”

It was hard to convince him of that once his worry set in but he let the matter go. She sometimes felt lucky to have someone show as much concern as he did for her, whether it be over protecting her from enemy attacks or helping her recover from flashbacks like earlier. She was truly blessed to have him in her life.

Looking as if he realized something, he said, “Ven, let me see your hand.”

She almost forgot about the open wound on her hand. As she held it out to him, she could see blood still seeping into her glove. She had no idea how deep her cut was or how hard she slashed with her knife.

Taking off her glove, he grimaced and said, “Yeesh, you cut a little too deep for my liking. Nothing a roll of bandages won’t fix, though.”

He took out a fresh white roll of bandages and began wrapping her hand up. As she watched him work, a pang of regret struck her heart. Even if she felt lucky to have him worry over her, it didn’t stop the guilt from gnawing away at her. None of this would be happening if she didn’t break down at the crack of a whip every time she heard one.

“Hey, Ferret?” Her eyes fell down to the ground. “Sorry for always making you do this.”

“Do what? Take care of you like the friend I am?” he asked.

“You shouldn’t have to take care of me. Having to look after me every time I get lost in my memories isn’t fair to you. You do all these nice, wonderful things for me and I do nothing but be a burden to you. It just isn’t fair.”

“Ohh, believe me--” She felt him let go of her hand-- “you do so much more for me than I think you’ll ever know.”

She looked up to see him before her with an outstretched hand. He had the warmest smile gracing his face and a gleam of love in his eyes. She didn’t deserve to have such things directed towards her.

“You’re not a burden to me, Ven. Despite what you may think, I take care of you because I want to, not because I feel like I have to. I know you’d be saying the same thing to me so no more feeling like you’re a burden, okay?”

She wanted so desperately to believe him when he said that. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe he meant every word of it. It was just so much easier to keep everything inside and not bother anyone with her troubles. They had better things to do with their time than sit and listen to her vent. After all, she had been told that no one would care about the struggles of an insignificant Vlixeox all her life. Why annoy someone when she knew she didn’t matter to them?

Still, it wouldn’t be fair to Ferreth if she didn’t give him a chance. She couldn’t promise him anything but she could at least try. It was the least she could do after subjecting him to one of her flashbacks again.

Placing her hand in his, she smiled and said, “I’ll try not to be.”

A wave of exhaustion suddenly washed over her after he helped her up. She was always left feeling drained whenever everything settled down. All she wanted to do was lay in a nice, soft bed and sleep the day away. However, there was something far more important she needed to do first.

As she started walking towards where the swamp was, Ferreth ran up next to her and asked, “Ven, are you sure you don’t wanna wait till tomorrow to do this? I mean, you just had another attack so…”

“It’ll be fine,” she replied. “It’s not like being tired has stopped me before.”

“Yeah, but still…”

“Ferret, you know this’ll only end in one of two ways. You’ll either have to carry me back, kicking and screaming, or we can continue on our merry way. Which will it be?”

That came out harsher than she wanted it to but it needed to be said. They had a mission to accomplish on a time limit. She didn’t want precious time to be wasted on her mental state when it could be used for more pressing matters. Once this was done, then she could finally relax.

He let out a sigh and said, “Fine, but I’m only letting you have your way because I know you’re too stubborn to accept a no.”

He really knew how to make her feel guilty sometimes. Whether or not he did it on purpose, she didn’t know. She figured, once their mission was done, she’d apologize and make it up to him. After all, she was forcing him to go against his better judgment by letting her continue on, despite the emotional ordeal she just went through. It’d only be fair.

Past the field of tall grass, they finally reached the dark forest. She was quick to notice the many peculiarities this place had. The trees had pieces of bark missing from them, the sizes anywhere from small lumps to large slabs. Leaves the color of decaying brown were preventing sunlight from filtering through its dense yet frail canopy. The patches of grass that sprouted up had no color to them.

The forest looked as if something was slowly sucking the life away from it. Whatever it was, she knew it had to be an unnatural force. If drastic measures weren’t taken right away, the forest would eventually die.

Still, it was something she couldn’t concern herself with. They didn’t come here to investigate why the forest was slowly dying. They came here to hunt down an animal that could potentially pose a threat to the people of Thal Esari and kill it. After that, they’d report back to Filaurel and turn their backs on this place. Whatever was going on with this forest, it wasn’t their problem to deal with.

Gathering her resolve, she let out a determined breath and said, “Let’s go.”

“Wait.” He grabbed her wrist to stop her from going in. “What’s the plan?”

“We go in, find it, kill it, and report back to Lady Filaurel,” she replied matter-of-factly.

“You can’t be serious.”

“Do you have a better idea in mind?”

He gave her a confident smile. “When do I not?”

The plan he came up with was leagues better than her own. They were to split up so as to cover more ground and search for tracks. Since they were assuming their quarry to be of an unusual nature, they needed to be on the lookout for anything conveying that. If one of them found tracks, they’d signal the other via bird calls. Good thing there were barely, if any, birds around. Then it was just a matter of following them till they led to their target. If luck was on their side today, they could kill it quickly and inform Filaurel of the deed by the end of the day.

Before they went in, he stopped her again, holding her hand in his. “What is it?”

“...Be careful, okay? Don’t get reckless and think you can take it on by yourself. Just send me the signal if you find anything and I’ll come running.”

“I will.” She squeezed his hand to comfort him. “You be careful, too, you hear?”

He gave her an affirmative nod and let go of her hand. She took a deep breath, steeling herself for what lied ahead. This was it, the only thing standing between her and the forgiveness she yearned for was their quarry. Once it was taken care of, they’d come back to Thal Esari, deliver the news of its death to Filaurel, and she’ll have earned her reward. It’ll be enough for her to maybe, finally, begin to forgive herself.

Only one path left to take. Another deep breath to calm her nerves and then she set off towards the right side of the forest. She heard footsteps opposite from her direction, indicating Ferreth to have taken the left side. Let luck be on our side today, she silently prayed.

Walking through the forest felt eerie. What should be vibrant greens were dull grays, furthering her suspicion that this place was dying. The only sound she heard was her own footsteps, no bugs or birds seemingly around for miles. She kept an eye and ear out in case she found the remnants of her prey traipsing about.

As she wandered further in, she began to hear voices. They were indistinct whispers so she couldn’t make them out, no matter how hard she strained her ears. It was difficult to tell whether she was imagining them because of the creepy atmosphere or if they really were there. Either way, a pit started to grow in her stomach.

Then came the shadows. She’d catch something darting out from the corners of her eyes every so often, only for there to be nothing when she turned to see. It didn’t help that she could barely make out anything within the darkness of the forest. Maybe it was her exhaustion from earlier causing her mind to play tricks on her, she figured. It did nothing to stop the pit from growing.

She spotted a break in the darkness several feet ahead of her. Getting closer, she saw it was a ray of sunlight illuminating what appeared to be a drop-off. Whether it led to a cliff or a steep hill, she couldn’t tell from this distance. She crouched down and crept toward it as stealthily as possible.

Coming up on the drop-off revealed several things. First, the drop-off itself was part of a hill that led to the swamp’s empty yet otherwise clean shore. Secondly, the swamp didn’t appear to be stricken with whatever curse was placed on the forest. Thirdly, she could hear bugs chirping and toads croaking from the swamp just ahead, wondrous sounds that may as well have been music to her ears. Lastly, she finally found what she was looking for.

A very large print of some kind was impressed deeply into the ground. The print, upon closer inspection, looked to be of a hand, albeit deformed. She could recognize each finger and the thumb but there were also other finger-like appendages attached to them. Whatever left this handprint here had the condition she’d seen on some people where they had more than five fingers on their hands but in a more extreme fashion. The size of the handprint was easily twice the size of her hand by comparison.

On both sides of the handprint were large puddles. She took a glove off and dipped her fingers into one of the puddles to see what it was. Her heart skipped a beat as she gasped. It wasn’t the fact that she was touching slobber left over from where her quarry was standing or that it felt gross and slimy that made her quickly pull her hand away. It was the warmth and realization of what that warmth meant.

She heard a twig snap behind her and she whirled around. All she could see was a massive silhouette and many pairs of eyes glaring at her. The eyes were blue, green, brown, hazel, gray and she thought she saw two irises and pupils inside each socket. It snarled and growled with such ferocity, her heart sank down into her stomach. Guess she found her target.

No sudden movements, she repeated to herself as she slowly moved her arm up to grab the end of her glaive. Even though she followed her mantra down to a T, it wasn’t enough. The creature charged at her, its gallops pounding against the ground. She stumbled back in shock, forgetting about the sudden drop-off.

Her foot found no ground and she let out a scream. Pain scattered throughout her body as she fell down the steep hill. Sticks and rocks jabbed and cut her while leaves stuck to her like glue. She soon reached the end, groaning as she glanced down to inspect the damage.

Blood and dirt were smeared over the bare patches of skin. Her stockings had several small tears in them, no doubt from the sticks that broke during her tumble. Her body felt sore while the cuts she sustained stung. She probably had a ton of scrapes and bruises all over her body that she couldn’t see. In the end, though, she was glad she wasn’t seriously injured after a fall like that.

A ghastly roar from above sent chills down her spine. She looked up just in time to see the creature leap off the drop-off and land in front of her. With it now out in the sunlight, she could see what it really was.

It was big, easily bigger than Ferreth, which scared her. It had a wild mane of tangled dark hair limply hanging on either side of its equine-like face. Thin, milky white skin covered its whole body except for the legs, which appeared to be rotting and she could see maggots feasting on dead flesh. Jagged discolored teeth protruded out its bottom jaw as thick drool dripped onto the ground. The many pairs of eyes that glared at her in hatred filled her with a dread she didn’t understand as she realized something. Why did those eyes look so familiar?

She didn’t have time to think about that as the creature suddenly lunged a clawed hand at her. The claws were little more than bones sharpened to a point. She quickly drew up a wall of darkness to try and block the attack. Its claws tore through it like paper and she went flying right to a tree. A strangled groan came out as her back slammed into the trunk and she fell onto the ground.

Another roar was let loose as she struggled to get up. Her back ached and she found it hard to breathe but she needed to move. This thing could attack her again at any moment and it was out for blood.

Sure enough, the creature leapt towards her, claws outstretched and mouth agape. She side-stepped out of the way just in time to avoid being pinned down. It shot her a heated glance and growled, its upper lip curling to reveal sharp fangs. She wasted no time in getting the hell outta there.

She ran as far as her legs could carry her. She needed to be a good distance away from this thing before she could even think about taking it down. The sheer power it had to tear through her defenses so easily proved to her it wasn’t to be underestimated. Her style of fighting wouldn’t work here, it’d be too risky. How would she be able to fight it if she couldn’t touch it, she realized.

Well, she still had her trump card but… She didn’t feel comfortable using her power for combat. It was one thing to use it casually and for assistance in battles but it was a whole other matter to use it to fight. Just the thought of using her power with the intent to hurt her enemy made her feel uneasy, regardless of whether or not they deserved it. She may have full control over it now but the chance she’d do more harm than good was still too great. She’ll just have to make do with her glaive and improvise. She could do that, no problem.

“Crap!”

She skidded to a halt upon seeing the swamp’s shoreline fast approaching. Willow trees were scattered all across the swamp, some having roots that emerged from underwater. The water itself was black, though she couldn’t tell if it was naturally murky or if something else was causing it to be like that. Green lilypads and moss were the only bright colors in an otherwise dreary place. However, she didn’t stop to take in the scenery. With how dark the water was, there was no way to tell how deep it went. This was a problem for her because of her inability to swim.

A roar came from behind her and she turned to face it. The creature caught up to her, its teeth bared and ready to tear her apart. Now she was really stuck between a rock and a hard place.

The only thing left to do was fight. She still didn’t know how or even if she could touch it without getting torn to shreds but she’d figure it out. She took a deep breath, steadying her nerves as she stared into its eyes dead-on. They looked so familiar yet she couldn’t remember where she had seen them before. No matter, it’d be dead soon, anyway.

The creature charged towards her, giving her a split second to react. Just as it’s about to ram her, she jumped up. She pressed a hand onto its head as if it were a vault and twisted her body. She was able to mount it with relative ease, the ache in her wrist notwithstanding.

It began to buck to throw her off as she tried to tangle her hands in its mane. Each time she’d grab on to a dark lock, it’d fall out into her hand. It was only when she did this several times that she noticed curdled, black sludge seeping out from the missing patches of hair. That and the constant feeling of cold slime moving in-between her legs disgusted her.

If she couldn’t get a good grip on it, there was always another option. She took out the knife from earlier, still stained in her blood, and plunged it deep in the space between its shoulders. Black sludge, which she now believed to be the creature’s blood, trickled out from the wound.

It howled in pain, multiple voices screaming over each other. Another wave of chills went down her spine as the creature galloped further into the swamp. Now it was imperative she hold on to the knife for dear life, lest she fall into the water and drown. It reared back and she felt the blade cut through its back. What she saw inside the open wound made her heart stop.

A rotting face rose up out of decaying flesh. Its skin was tanned and leathery, stretched taut over facial bones. Empty holes for eyes, no nose, thin, chapped lips, and sunken cheeks were all she could discern from it. The face opened its mouth and started to scream in a high pitched voice. This caused the creature to cease its bucking as she felt shifting skin between her legs.

She looked down to see large tumors bulging out its body. Its thin skin tore apart to reveal six other faces, all in differing states of decay. They were in the same shape as the one in its back was, except with black blood spilling out of every orifice available. Screams erupted from their mouths as well and the pungent odor of death was present in the air.

It was then she realized just what this creature was. Images of blood and dead bodies flashed through her mind as devastating despair filled her heart. She didn’t want to believe it, didn’t want to accept it, but it was there. The reason why those eyes looked so familiar was because…

“No, it can’t be… Seldanna?” The face inside the creature’s back fell silent as she turned to look at the others. “Leena, Aila, Travaran… Braern, Vaeril, and Rathal… You’re… the ones I killed?”

Crying replaced screaming at the mention of their names. Voices of children and adults begging for help rang in her head. Tears slid down her cheeks as the voices grew louder and louder.

Why were they here? Why were they dead? They didn’t deserve to die! Out of all the people that could’ve died that day, why was it them?! Why were they the ones that died and not…?! If only she could remember, if only she could’ve controlled herself back then, if only she…!

The creature bucked again and she was thrown several feet away. It wasn’t till she found herself unable to breathe she realized she was underwater. She had to fight the urge to attempt to swim back up. Her lungs burned from the lack of air but she could care less about that.

Did she really deserve to live? Did she really have the right to live after killing innocent people? Maybe it’d be better if she just died. It’d give both her victims and the lives she irrevocably destroyed some form of closure. She deserved to die a long, painful death as retribution for all the pain she caused. All she’d have to do is sink to the bottom, let out her final breath, and…

She sensed a presence beside her, not knowing who or what it was. Hands cupped her cheeks and she felt pressure on her lips. Her lungs filled with air as an arm wrapped around her waist began pulling her up. She didn’t need to see to know who it was once they broke the surface.

“Ven, you all right?” Ferreth asked.

She couldn’t find it within herself to care about giving him an answer. She didn’t want to say anything, do anything. All she wanted to do was crawl into a ditch and let herself wither away until she died. Noting her lack of a response, he began swimming them back to land. He apologized for not coming sooner before explaining how he stopped the creature’s pursuit of her with an uppercut by way of earthen wall. He didn’t know how far it went but he hoped the distance would give them enough time to make it back to shore. His words went in one ear and out the other.

It wasn’t till they were on land a distant roar could be heard. Her stomach roiled once more, knowing what that meant. He muttered something she didn’t catch and hauled her over his shoulder to run. Fresh, silent tears trailed behind them as they made their escape.

He ran back the way she came, even climbing the hill she tumbled down with help from his powers to make it relatively easy. The whispers from before returned, louder and louder till they filled her head with incomprehensible murmurs. They served to make the dark thoughts swirling around stand out among everything else. The urge to grab her knife and stab herself with it grew.

A piercing scream tore through the midday sky as they settled into a small glade. She recognized it as Aila’s. Images of her small, mangled body flooded her mind and she wanted to throw up at the sight of it. She didn’t even want to think about how the others looked when she…

“Okay, I think we’ve lost that son of a bitch for now,” he said, checking behind him before letting out a weary sigh. “Holy shit, though, that thing is pissed.”

“It’s my fault…” she whispered, wrapping her arms around herself, “it’s my fault they’re like this.”

“What do you mean it’s your fault and who’s they?”

“They’re the people I killed, don’t you get it?!” Tears streamed down her face. She couldn’t be bothered to give a damn about how loud her outburst was. “Seldanna, Leena, Aila, Travaran, Braern, Vaeril, Rathal…It’s because of me they’re dead!”

“Ven, it was an accident. It wasn’t your---”

“It doesn’t matter! I killed them and nothing will ever change that!” She shuddered as she let out another sob. “God, I just wanted to prove to everyone I wasn’t a monster…”

All her life, she had been told she was a monster because of her existence as a Vlixeox. No matter how well she behaved, no matter how she tried to stay out of their way, it never changed. Her crime only solidified their view of her. She thought that, by atoning for her sin, she’d finally show everyone she wasn’t what they believed her to be. Now, even hell would be too good for a monster like her.

Hands were on her cheeks, wiping away the tears that fell. It was comforting and she wanted so badly to lean into it. But she didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve the love and care he’s treated her with, especially now. How could he still want to stay with her after everything that’s happened?

“Ven.” She didn’t want to look at him. What emotion his eyes held, she was too scared to see. “I want you to listen to me. I know that whatever I say, you may not believe me or even deny it but… I mean every word of what I say next to you. All I ask is for you to hear me out for a little bit, okay?

“It was not your fault. You were just a scared kid who didn’t want to get hurt. I know you didn’t mean to hurt them, much less kill them. It was just a tragic accident. I know that doesn’t change the fact that they’re… dead but it also doesn’t change the fact that you were protecting yourself from the people that were hurting you. They can twist what happened back then to suit what they want to believe but only you know the truth, even if you can’t remember it all.

“You’ve paid more than enough for this. You’re not a monster, Ven. I know it, everyone back home knows it. I just wish you’d know it, too.” He stroked her cheek as another tear fell.

“What if you’re wrong?” She finally worked up the courage to look him in the eyes. “What if I am one?”

“You’re not.” He pressed his forehead to hers. “Even so, I won’t stop trying to convince you you’re not a monster till you believe it. I don’t care if it takes me a lifetime to do it. This, I promise to you.”

She laid her hands on his as she cried softly. How could a monster like her be blessed with someone as wonderful as him? She’s done nothing to deserve such kindness and love from him yet he still lavishes her with it. He truly is someone she feels so, so happy to have in her life.

Pulling away, she began to say, “Hey, Ferret, I---”

A familiar roar cut her off, echoing through the trees. The creature’s monstrous body suddenly appeared behind Ferreth, ready to strike. She summoned a mass of darkness to quickly push him out of the way of the incoming attack. Just as he was shoved into safety did its bony hand snatch her up. It slammed her into the ground and the little breaths she had came out in a choke.

Fear seized her heart as its many eyes glared down at her. No, she couldn’t be terrified of it now. While she didn’t know how this amalgamation came to exist, she knew the people making it up needed to move on. This state of being, seven vengeful, scared entities seemingly trapped in a single deteriorating body for god knows how long, was no way to live.

“Why did you do this to us?” A legion of voices asked, though one in particular spoke above the rest.

“Trav…aran…” She squeezed the reply out as it slowly tightened its grip on her. “I know that… nothing I say will… mean anything but…”

She managed to keep it distracted while she sent a tendril of darkness to retrieve the knife that was still embedded in its back. The knife came out easily enough and the creature was none the wiser. She then willed the tendril to stab the blade into the fleshy part of the hand that held her.

It screamed in pain as it was forced to let her go. She took several breaths of air, thankful she wasn’t being crushed to death. Afterwards, she stood up and trained her glaive on the creature, now growling in retaliation.

“I’m sorry for killing you once,” she said, struggling to keep her voice steady, “and I’m sorry to have to do it again to end your suffering.”

Her eyes wandered over to where Ferreth was. Claws and scales replaced fingers and skin on his arms and slitted eyes met her gaze. That meant he was raring to fight, something she couldn’t let happen at any cost. This was her responsibility and she wasn’t about to let him take care of it for her. This was something she needed to do.

“Ferret.” She spoke slowly and tried not to make any sudden moves. “I’m gonna need your help with something. As soon as I’m done talking, I’m going to bolt back to the swamp in the hopes this thing will follow me. Give it some time and then follow us back so you can restrain them with your power. Do you understand?”

“Y-yeah, but---”

She didn’t give him time to respond as she suddenly darted to the right. The creature missed its swipe at her and she dashed past it. It gave a roar before following after her, its heavy footfalls thudding behind her.

A glance every so often confirmed her theory that its only target was her. Any obstacle in its way would be rendered a casualty, be it people or objects. If Ferreth did as he was told, its only concern should be the girl running away from it.

She reached the drop-off once more. Remembering what happened last time she came to this spot, she skidded to a stop and quickly looked around. No way could she try and jump off, it’d be too risky at this height. She found a sturdy-looking branch growing out of a willow tree ahead of her. It didn’t seem reliable but it was the best she had. Darkness coiled around the branch and she leapt from the drop-off while holding onto the makeshift vine.

It didn’t take long for the branch to snap from her weight. She landed on her side roughly, her hip flaring up in pain. She was just barely given enough time to react when the creature pounced on her.

With teeth bared for her to see, it lunged. She stuck her glaive in its mouth in an attempt to stop it from biting into her. Warm spit slid down the metal to her arms as she tried to keep her weapon inside its maw. There was no way for her to escape without risking the possibility of getting slashed by its claws. Still, if she had to, the risk would be more than worth it.

Then it was forcibly dragged away from her. Its claws raked through the dirt on either side of her as it struggled to stay. She crawled out from under it to see Ferreth curling hardened dirt like a corkscrew around its torso. Dirt and dust caked his scaled arms and sprinkled off the extended limbs of earth as it thrashed around. Thank god for his intervention…

“Ven, you all right?” he asked loudly so he could be heard over the creature’s roaring.

Standing up, she replied, “I’m holding up! Listen, when I tell you to, let it go.”

“Are you crazy?! This thing wants to kill you!”

“I know but it won’t come down to that. I just need to talk with them.”

“What if it kills you after I let it go?! I don’t want you to die!”

“I’ll be okay, Ferreth!”

He closed his eyes tightly, brows knitted in worry and mouth clenched. She knew that the very idea of gambling with her life is something he never wants to consider. Still, he needed to believe in her, if only just for this one thing. After a moment, their eyes locked and she knew she had his trust.

She walked over to it, a mixture of sadness, guilt, and grim acceptance filling her heart. As she stood in front of the beast, it roared and lashed out in fury. Yet she did nothing, letting it vent its rage at her. Its eyes burned with contempt while the voices shifted between cursing her existence and crying out for a savior.

Soon, it tired itself out. Although it no longer tried to attack her, it still growled at her when she moved closer to it. She looked into its eyes in pity, struggling to keep the tears at bay.

She placed a gentle hand on the bridge of its nose. Nothing she could say to them would change what happened. She dealt them a cruel fate, regardless of it ultimately being an accident. She’d do anything to rewind the clock and prevent the senseless tragedy that occurred but… That was then and this is now.

Stroking it in a soothing manner, she said, “I know that what I did to you all can never be taken back… and for that, I’m truly sorry.

“No words can come close to describing just how sorry I am. I don’t expect any of you to accept my apology and that’s okay. All I can say is, none of you deserved to die and you especially don’t deserve to be trapped in the suffering you’re all in. It should be the other way around but… life’s unfair at times.”

The growls stopped and the voices fell quiet. What was once malice was now sorrow as eyes stared at the girl who spoke in bittersweet comfort. She couldn’t begin to imagine how they felt but she wanted to believe they shared just an inkling of the sadness there was at the whole situation.

“Ferret, let them go. I think they’re okay now.”

He dropped his arms and the dirt around its body crumbled away. A small part of her expected them to maul her right then and there after luring her into a false sense of security. They didn’t. Instead, they laid down in front of her, their eyes solemnly closed. She continued to stroke its face all the while.

“You all were so kind to me back then. I didn’t understand the ways some of you had shown that at the time but I want you to know that I truly, truly appreciated it. I can only repay that with an act of kindness of my own and it’s the only thing I can give you all. It’s more like an act of mercy but still…”

A bitter laugh escaped from her mouth as tears slid down her cheeks. Even though what she was about to do next was right, she wished it didn’t have to be like this. If only there was some other way to do it but it wasn’t meant to be. She held them close, knowing this will be the last time she’ll ever see them again. Her heart ached yet she remained calm as she stepped away from them.

“May the afterlife give you a better beginning than the grisly end I forced you to meet.”

They bowed their head in resignation, waiting to meet their fate. Darkness wrapped around their neck before suddenly twisting to the side. Their neck snapped with a sickening crack and their body fell forward. Whatever strange power brought about their revival was gone as they withered away to dust.

It was only when a few specks were left she heard them. Two words that were spoken in an almost mournful tone. Words from the people she’d never see again till it was her time.

“We’re sorry.”

A gentle breeze carried the specks of dust high up into the sky until they were no longer visible. That was it. It was over. She’d cry if she had more tears to shed but she didn’t. She felt empty, hollow. Yet she also felt as if a great weight was lifted from her shoulders. Maybe it was because she faced a terrible truth head-on instead of running away or something within her finally felt settled in some way. She didn’t know which it was.

Her mind felt hazy. The figure of Ferreth blurred in her vision, sounds faded into the background, and her movements seemed to be half a second slow. A muffled voice was the last thing she heard before her descent into darkness.

#airi's writing #ship tag; Lean on Me #childhood abuse tw #self harm tw #body horror #eye horror #suicide tw #euthanasia tw

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double-bagging-adventures · 7 years

Text

Echo

It seemed so mundane when it started. My son, Alex, was 7 years old and I had just taken him to his first basketball game. He didn’t really grasp the idea of basketball or even sports in general; he was an indoor kid through and through, but he seemed to enjoy the spectacle of it all. The excitement, the frustrations, the general noise and thrill of it all.

We were driving out to our new house in the country. It used to be a secluded little place back then; only a few neighbors for miles around, wild animals walking through backyards. Alex didn’t have many friends who lived nearby so he usually made them up. He had an ever-changing rotary of imaginary friends. It felt like he had a new one each week. He had a very active imagination.

So much so, when it started, it didn’t seem unusual. We pulled into the garage. Above the garage, there was a crawl space we used for storage. Alex was sitting in the passenger seat, for there was no backseat in my truck then, and he immediately shot to attention. He started looking up and out the window at the dark crawl space above.

“There’s a shadow man up there,” he announced casually.

“What?” I asked, half-amused, half-concerned.

“A shadow man,” Alex said. “Up there, in the attic. He just ran by.”

I turned off the engine and leaned forward in my seat for a better look. I was looking for a raccoon or maybe a stray cat. I didn’t see anything except for musty boxes filled with Alex’s old baby stuff.

“I don’t see him, buddy,” I confessed.

“Well duh,” said Alex like it was obvious. “He’s not there anymore.”

“Duh,” I agreed and ran my fingers through Alex’s hair. “Come on, bud. You need to brush you dee-deets and go to bed. You’ve got school tomorrow.” Dee-deets is what we called teeth. I couldn’t possibly tell you why. Just one those baby talk words that stuck in our family, I guess.

Alex brushed his “dee-deets” and I tucked him in. I read the next chapter in The Magician’s Nephew and I got up to leave.

“Check for monsters,” Alex reminded me as soon as my hand touched the door knob.

“I almost forgot,” I said. I took the flashlight Alex kept on his bedside table and flashed in in the closet. A sick part of me always wondered what would happen if one night I flicked the light on and actually found a monster; a horrible pale face with sunken eyes and pale teeth, straight out of Nosferatu.

But nothing tonight. Just a laundry basket, a few stray Star Wars action figures, clothes, and a Clue board game Alex had gotten from his grandmother for his birthday.

“No monsters tonight,” I said cheerfully. My wife, Haley, said I shouldn’t say that.

“Think about it, it’s kind of fucked up,” she had said. “It implies there might be monsters another night.”

“Maybe there will be,” I had offered and she had slapped my playfully on the arm.

Alex and I said our good nights and I went out to the back porch for a cigarette. There was a massive field behind our house and the whole time I was out there, I couldn’t help but scan the tall grass for shadow men.

I heard the screen door slide open behind me and a voice, “Got one of those for me, stranger?”

I kissed my wife, gave her a cigarette, and lit it for her. She pulled on it deeply.

“Work was that bad, huh?” I asked.

“Not bad,” she said, taking a second, shorter drag. “Just long. How was the game?”

“It was good,” I said, sitting down in a lawn chair. Haley sank into the next chair and held my hand with her free one. She dug her toes into the cool grass. “Alex kept asking me which team was ours. We ran around at half time and played around on an elevator until some lady kicked us off. Oh, and we got some cotton candy we’re not supposed to tell you about.”

“Ah,” said Haley. “Glad I don’t know about it then. I’ll never figure it out when he starts bouncing off the walls.”

I squeezed her hand. She squeezed back.

“Oh yeah,” i said, suddenly remembering. “And he said there’s a shadow man in the garage.”

“Shadow man?” What’s that?”

I shrugged. “A guy made of shadows, I guess. I didn’t ask.”

“You should go up there,” Haley said. “Make sure it’s not a raccoon or something.”

“I will tomorrow. It’s probably a ghost,” I said.

“Oh, I forgot to mention that our house is built on an ancient Indian burial ground. I’m sure I said that when we moved out here.”

I started to jiggled her chair. “You only moved the tombstones!” I mock yelled.

“Quit it!” she laughed. She kissed me and put out her cigarette. She flicked it under the porch.

“Gonna start a fire,” I warned.

She kissed me again. “I’m going to bed,” she said. “Come soon?”

I agreed. I decided to stay up and get a little work done. When I finally decided to go to bed, it was far later than I had intended. I was past the basement on the way to bed and noticed the door was open. I could have sworn I closed it before we had left for the game. A cold, earthy smelling air seeped up the stairs. It was wall still concrete floors down there, the carpet guy was coming next week. We kept the door closed because we were worried Alex would fall down and crack his head open like a coconut. And now it was halfway open.

I brushed it off as forgetfulness, closed the door, and made the way down the dark hallway towards our room. I paused at Alex’s doorway. I could hear him talking to himself. Well, kind of. It sounded like he was having a conversation with someone and then he’d repeat the last bit of what he had just said like an echo.

“My name’s Alex.”

“…name’s Alex.”

“What’s your name?”

“…your name?”

“Quit copying me!”

“…copying me!”

I knocked softly and called out, “Go to bed, buddy.”

“Okay, daddy,” he replied.

“…daddy.”

It struck me as odd. Usually when Alex talked to his imaginary friends, the conversations weren’t so one-sided. And he never talked for them. They always spoke in an imaginary voice that only Alex could hear. I figured maybe this was a new game or maybe he’d gotten his hands on Haley’s old tape recorder. He used to play news reporter with it, running around the house and making news reports of going-ons around the house and then play the “news” for us at the end of the night. I really didn’t think much about it at the time.

—————

As I drove Alex to school the next morning, I decided to ask about it.

“Who was your friend last night?” I asked.

“The shadow man,” Alex said, staring out the window.

“I thought he was in the garage?” I said.

“He was,” Alex explained, matter-of-factly. “He came in.”

“I should start changing him rent. What’s he like?”

Alex considered this for a moment. “It’s hard to see him,” he said. “He’s all dark and shadowy. And he’s really fast. He’s got these long, noodle legs like those weird spiders.”

“Daddy Long Legs?” I offered.

“Yeah,” Alex confirmed. “And he doesn’t talk. Well, he does but he can only repeat what I say.”

“Why’s that?”

“I asked him,” Alex said. “But he only copied me. Duh.”

“Oh, duh,” I agreed. “Duh” was Alex’s new favorite word. His teacher did not approve. She said that it promoted sass at an early age. Then again, she didn’t approve of most things. “So he lives in the closet now?” I asked.

“Yup,” said Alex.

“But I thought you were afraid of monsters,” I said.

“I don’t think he’s a monster,” Alex said. “He hasn’t tried to eat me yet.”

“Fair point,” I said. “Unlike…me!” I tickled Alex with my free hand, one hand on the wheel, and he squealed with delight. There were no more questions about the shadow man the rest of the way to school.

—————

For a couple of nights, Alex continued his echo game. He’d blather nonsense, talk about his day, sing songs and each time, the echo would repeat the last bit.

One night, as I was heading inside from a cigarette, I saw Alex opening the door to the basement.

“Hey, what the hell,” I said. I was on him almost instantly, closing the door harder than I meant to. This and the swear word had startled him. Tears were welling up in his eyes. “You know you’re not supposed to go down there,” I snapped, the irritation clear in my voice. “It’s like midnight, go to bed.”

“The shadow man wants me to!” Alex blurted out. “He keeps pointing to the stairs and-“

“I don’t care what the shadow man wants,” I interrupted, my voice rising almost to a shout. “I don’t want you going down there! Do I make myself clear?”

“Dad the shadow-“

“Do I make myself clear?” I knew as soon as I yelled at him I fucked up. Alex immediately burst into tears, ran to his room, and slammed the door. I rubbed my eyes tiredly and joined Haley in the bedroom.

“What happened?” Haley asked as soon as I sat down on the edge of the bed. It was inquisitive, not accusatory.

“Alex tried to go into the basement,” I said lamely.

“Is he ok?” she asked.

“I made him cry,” I said. “God, I’m an asshole. Worst dad in the world.”

“No you’re not,” my wife said. “But I do think you should go apologize.”

“Yeah, ok,” I said. I gave her a kiss on the forehead and walked down the hallway to Alex’s room. He was still crying. I was just about to knock when I heard him start talking.

“I told you!” he cried. “Dad won’t let me!”

“…you, you, Dad, let me!”

I stopped with my hand raised, mid-knock. So far in Alex’s game, the echo had never come back wrong.

“No! Dad doesn’t want me to go into the basement!”

“…Dad, Dad, go, the basement.”

The echo wasn’t just wrong in what it was saying but also the inflection. It was like Alex was piecing together sound clips to make a new sentence.

“I don’t want to,” Alex whimpered. “I don’t even want to go to the basement.”

“…want to, go, basement.”

Silence.

“Do you understand me?”

I nearly jumped out of my skin. Alex had impersonated what I had yelled at him but it wasn’t like an impression. It was pitch perfect like a recording. It was exactly my voice. I opened the door and Alex’s face was horrified. Before I could ask what was wrong, he ran to me, his whole body shaking with sobs.

“I wanna sleep with you and Mom!” he shouted. “Please, Dad! Please don’t make me stay in there!”

I scooped him up in my arms and carried him to our bedroom. Haley and I cooed at him and said reassuring things until he finally fell asleep.

—————

Alex eventually returned to his room but I didn’t hear him play his game again. The nightly search for monsters had also expanded and now included checking the windows and under the bed. In addition to this, Alex insisted I put his heavy toy chest in front of the closet door every night. I never asked how he had managed to impersonate me so perfectly.

The night that it happened I had got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water from the kitchen. I had already put Alex down for bed. It was late.

“Daddy?”

I turned to see the basement door wide open.

“Daddy?” came Alex’s voice again. It was coming from downstairs.

“Alex?” I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. “Alex, come here, bud. It’s late.”

Silence from the cold basement. “Come down here, Daddy.” came Alex’s reply.

I stood at the top of the stairs. It was pitch black in the basement. The only light source down there was a pull-string bulb in the center of the room. I cursed myself for not putting a light switch by the door sooner.

“Alex,” I called down again. “Come on, buddy, this isn’t funny. Let’s go to bed.”

“Come get me, Daddy,” Alex called from the darkness.

I don’t know how long I stood at the stairs but it felt like hours. I felt like a kid again, afraid of the dark. I put my foot on the top step and, incredibly slowly, began to descend. I noticed I was shaking. I couldn’t say why I was afraid. It was just my son playing a stupid trick. When I got about halfway, I peered into the darkness, trying to see Alex but there was only shadows.

“Daddy?”

I froze on the stairs. I turned around to see Alex at the top of the fairs, rubbing his eyes and standing there in his PJ’s.

“Daddy, what are you doing?” he asked.

I turned to face the darkness again, my heart beating out of my chest. There was nothing but silence and darkness. Then I heard naked feet on concrete spiriting towards me.

My reaction was instant. I turned and bolted up the stairs as fast as I could. Alex suddenly shot awake, his mouth frozen in a surprised O. I practically launched myself off the top step, spun, and slammed the door.

Something on the other side hit the door with full force, rattling it in its hinges. I instinctively grabbed the knob and put my full weight against the door. The knob jiggled in my hand madly and the thing began to pound on the door. Alex was wailing at the top of his lungs. I could hear scratching on the other side, claws making deep gouges in the wood.

The light flicked on in the kitchen and I saw Haley standing in the doorway in total panic mode.

“What the hell is happening?” she shrieked.

Suddenly, the pounding stopped. I could hear the same naked footsteps moving down the stars, across the basement, and then the sound of glass breaking.

Then nothing. All that could be heard was my son crying and my own heavy breathing. I slumped against the door and down to the floor, suddenly exhausted. Haley grabbed Alex into her arms, still crying. We didn’t go back to sleep that night.

—————

The next day, the carpet guy arrived. He was an older man with a grey mustache, a blue union suit, a baseball cap that said “Karpet Kings”, and a name tag that read “Joe”. I led him into the basement. The door was practically hanging off it’s hinges. He whistled when he saw the cracks and long scratch marks on the door. Broken glass was scattered on the floor and beneath the one basement window. Around the window were deep scars in the cements. It looked like something had clawed it’s way out.

“Wowee,” Joe said. “Must have had somethin’ fierce in here.”

I relayed the story of last night’s events to him, worried I sounded like a crazy person. I left out the part of Alex’s echo game and the voice I had heard the night before.

“Must have been somethin’ big,” Joe said, adjusting his baseball cap and running his fingers up and down the gouges in the wall near the window. “Raccoon?”

I did not think it was a raccoon.

#fiction #short fiction #horror #horror fiction #original writing #writing #story #stories #scary stories

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f05erxay-blog · 5 years

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