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subzeroparade · 9 months

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I finished!!! With DLC and everything, now I’m a squid baby hanging out with the Doll for the rest of eternity. Super excited that my self-imposed ban on lore videos and fics are lifted, and now I can read!

Not to diss Elden Ring, gods know I love the Lands Between, but Bloodborne’s story just hits different. With ER it feels like it’s all a giant family squabble, but in Bloodborne it’s the collective human hubris that fucked everything up. The Great Ones in BB seem to be way more sympathetic and often victims of men’s actions, where in ER the Outer Gods appear to be more malevolent. Idk, it’s almost like Marika and the Greater Will is a success story of how to commune with the Great Ones properly and establish a mutually beneficial world order compared to whatever they were trying to do in BB. From a “all soulsborne games are connected” perspective it’s pretty neat.

With that said, I’m dying to know your takes on the lore. I’ve always felt in the beginning (the beginning of the game as well, to a certain extend) everything was your normal level of Victorian horror——vampires, werewolves, hunters, scholars that seek higher knowledge, but all under control and supernatural events were few and far between, known only to certain individuals. It’s only until the event of the Fishing Hamlet and the establishment of the Healing Church, or even after the schism of the Choir and the Mensis, that things went publicly tits up. Are you in favor of the events of the game happened in literally one night, or that Yharnam is stuck in a limbo? How long do you think has passed since the heyday of Byrgenworth and the event of the game (I want to say 30ish years based on Willem’s age and since he’s the only one alive from that time it’s a good time indicator. But then again is he actually alive? Extending his existence through unnatural means sounds like something he’d totally do)? Did our action really change anything? Did killing Rom allow the Mensis Ritual to succeed by weakening the veil and beckoning the Red Moon, or they were going to succeed/already did anyway and we were just breaking the illusions that everything is “normal”? Since the Healing Church is a new power (although how they managed to build so many grand architectures in such short amount of time is beyond me, the magic in this world is not known for its construction powers lol), who ruled Yharnam before them in your headcanon? I read theories that the Vilebloods were the ruling class before the Healing Church and they themselves have Pthumerian ties, which is interesting and adds another layer to the conflict between the Healing Church and Cainhurst. But I don’t know how plausible that theory is.

So sorry for my rambling, I just have so many thoughts in my head and excited to share them with you before I do the same in your comment section 😭 Anyway, since AO3 is back up it’s great time to start diving into BB fics!

Wow this sure is An Ask :’)

First of all, congrats on becoming A Squid! Enjoy godhood.

The rest of this under the cut for length.

BB and ER are certainly vastly different in their storytelling. I remain a big fan of how the spectrum of ER’s themes run from Greek tragedy to medieval succession struggles. Personally, I find the familial plot points of it to be the most interesting - as well as the vast passage of time and sense of decay and mythology imbued in the world. Admittedly I don’t care as much for shipping in ER - outside of writing Godwyn/Fortissax, obvs - because the legacy and mythos parts of it seem so incredibly rich by comparison (hence why I don’t write BB characters as being related, as many people seem to - I burnt out on family drama themes writing for ER).

BB, by contrast, is somehow very immediate in its history, in its active crisis, and it feels very grounded in humanity in a way that ER does not. In ER I feel constantly reminded that we are a shitty little lowly Tarnished and cannot pretend to understand the millennia that have past - even since the Shattering - or the scraps we’re now sniffing at in the wake of all that. But humans in BB feel close enough to the gods that they’re compelled to reach for them - scholars, clergymen, institutions, etc - only to realise the gods are crueler and more incomprehensible than even those of ER, while the consequences of their actions are significantly and viscerally more personal. ER has gods as a product of divinity and mythmaking, and BB has them, in a weird sense, as a facet of the Promethean impulse gone horribly wrong. If you really want to know my take on some of these specific questions, I’ve answered similar ones under the ask tag - but am occasionally cagey about some of these, because I use them for plot points in future fics. I’d rather a reader go in not being too familiar with my speculation, and that my conjecture is a means to an end (storytelling) rather than just info-dumping of “here’s what I think happened” - but that’s just my personal inclination. (Which is not to say I don’t appreciate other people’s elaborate lore speculation because I do, and there are some great and heavily-researched headcanons that I don’t always share but love to rotisserie in my head.)

As for what I can answer -

Are you in favor of the events of the game happened in literally one night, or that Yharnam is stuck in a limbo?

Semi-answered this in a previous ask here but since cosmic what-the-fuckery is pretty abundant otherwise, I like parts of lorecrafting to be pretty grounded in opposition to that - so I do believe Yharnam folk experience multiple nights of the Hunt, a rhythm of descent into madness influenced by the moon and the slow dissolution of the Church. I think dawn comes for them, but they know the next night will be worse, each new moon another instance of the city unravelling around them.

How long do you think has passed since the heyday of Byrgenworth and the event of the game?

Touched on this a bit here. This is based on the pacing I establish in my own writing, but I give the events between the Hamlet and the PC Hunter’s arrival about 50 years, give or take.

But then again is he [Willem] actually alive?

I think about catatonic rocking chair Willem like a potted plant on a windowsill. Decorative.

Did killing Rom allow the Mensis Ritual to succeed by weakening the veil and beckoning the Red Moon, or they were going to succeed/already did anyway and we were just breaking the illusions that everything is “normal”?

Hammering this out for an upcoming fic, because I haven’t entirely made up my mind - also about whether the Moon creates the Dream before Mensis usurps Mergo’s Nightmare, or vice versa - or whether the two happen around the same time, and what their separate or overlapping goals are. I do think Mensis has different goals than the Church, to a certain point. I’ve had some pretty interesting discussions with mutuals about this (and feel free to share thoughts if you have).

Since the Healing Church is a new power (although how they managed to build so many grand architectures in such short amount of time is beyond me, the magic in this world is not known for its construction powers lol), who ruled Yharnam before them in your headcanon?

I tackle this with worldbuilding in The Feast We Were Promised, if you’re inclined to read it. Tldr: nothing exists in a vacuum, certainly not in a society with the kind of complexity demonstrable in Bloodborne, so obviously there was both a system of belief and system of government before the Healing Church politicked and/or strong-armed its way into power.

As for cathedrals (and this is where being a historian by profession is pretty useful in worldbuilding): you could built pretty remarkable structures with pretty efficient timing, especially in the late 19th century. To use a nearby example of my own, Sacré-Coeur basilica at Montmartre took about 60 years from scratch in the latter half of the 19thc (as in there was nothing there before, no minor structure) and that’s considered long - it probably would’ve taken less time without the multiple wars and upheaval over that timespan. Likewise, a structure like Notre-Dame (the Paris one, not the Montreal one) underwent extensive restorations and additions in the 19th century, especially under Viollet-le-Duc (whose students would go on to do the same thing to gothic cathedrals elsewhere in France), but the baseline of the structure was already there - which is what I propose in the case of Yharnam: that much of the city’s civil and religious urban structure was already present (perhaps in the form of Pthumerian ruins in some cases). As in most European cities, buildings sometimes date from the Roman Empire and are gradually embellished, redone, or expanded upon over the course of the following centuries/millennia when funds are plenty and the ruling class is willing. If you think about what Haussmann did to Paris in less than twenty years, I imagine that to be the kind of equivalent of how the Church “cleans” up Yharnam and modernises it. But it’s my own preferred headcanon to imagine Yharnam was a little underwhelming before the Church’s public works; it could’ve also already been a splendid, thriving city. (I did some work on Viollet-le-Duc's gargoyles like a decade ago, I highly encourage checking out his early drafts of them, they are remarkable images).

I read theories that the Vilebloods were the ruling class before the Healing Church and they themselves have Pthumerian ties, which is interesting and adds another layer to the conflict between the Healing Church and Cainhurst.

I touch on this in Feast a bit as well, but I think it’s really open to interpretation and you can make all kinds of convincing and interesting arguments about Cainhurst’s Pthumerian legacy. Again, on a grounded level beyond cosmic fuckery, I imagine Cainhurst and Yharnam’s larger territories have a centuries-old conflict a la English vs the French type of situation, and every skirmish and hostility arises out of this longstanding hostility and struggle over land and resources. I do think Cainhurst is tied to Pthumeru, though, via actual legacy, in a way Yharnam is not; and so I think Cainhurst would have claim to the labyrinths and the Healing Blood in a way that would threaten the Church’s supremacy in Yharnam and have ultimately kicked off hostilities, etc etc, until you get to the Cainhurst Massacre.

All that to say enjoy your squidhood and any BB fics you read :)

#ask #lore #writing #bloodborne #still going through the ask box

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danandphilnews · 2 years

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First half of 'We're All Doomed' stage show, transcribed

Spoiler alert!

[source]

Warning, if you accidentally clicked this: FULL SPOILERS for Dan's We're All Doomed tour! This is your chance to back out now.

Thank you to Jane for providing audio and to Cal and Keelin for help transcribing!

[Dan over speaker] hello and welcome to doomed radio. I’m your host DJ Dan here bringing you the soundtrack to the apocalypse here at the end of the world tour. I’m here with a very important message that photography, video, and audio recording is strictly prohibited so if you’ve got your phones out during the show someone that works at the theater will dropkick you and rob your device. We kindly ask for your cooperation. Now it’s time to drop some bangers. See you soon.

[plays dan’s diss track] [plays tour playlist]

Dan singing: Everything's fine, totally fine I hop out of bed and brush my teeth Make some toast or maybe muesli Fine, everything's fine [doorbell] Oh, who's that? It's my neighbor Valerie - I love people! Lookin' out the window while the tea is brewin' The bees are a'buzzin and the pigeons are a'cooin It must be a sign that nothing's out of line Because everything is fine... For you and you and you and you and you And you and you and you and you- [Dan. Daniel. Are you having another breakdown?] Everything's fine, everything's fine! La la la la la la la [He's lost it.] I love to sing- [You're spiraling. How long has it been since you've spoke to your therapist?] I'm fine. [You have clinical depression.] I'm going online! Hello, internet. [Really?] So much respect and intersectionality [Bullshit] All I see is rainbows- [It's time to stop pretending. You're clearly in denial. The world is literally ending] Yes, everything is swell, it's going terribly well [There’s drought, there’s war,??? self destruct, the ocean's on fire, we are literally fuc-] FINE, yes everything is fine For you and you [Dan, you have social anxiety and hate people.] It's fine. [Tigers are going extinct. Seagulls dying in oil on the beach.] It's fine. [Alexa is listening, plotting to kill you in your sleep. What are you going to do about the climate emergency?] SHUT UP! Everything's fine, totally fine Everything's in perfect harmony [*something*] DANCE BREAK It's fine, it's fine, it's fine fine fine It's fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine

[Dan. Come on. The world has got problems. You have got problems. Everyone here can see that. *something* deal with issues. It might be uncomfortable, like that time you pretend to love boobs for twenty-eight years. The truth is always here in the back of your mind. Dan, you need to be honest. What do you really think?]

WE'RE ALL DOOMED.

Are you happy? We're totally screwed. We are facing the destruction of our planet. Society is being ripped apart, if we do not kill each other first we're going to get nuked or a giant meteor is going to obliterate us while we sleep. What is the point in making it through our pointless little lives if anything we do has any meaning? When there is no point, no reason, no bloody hope at all.

[Well, that was a bit dramatic.] Seriously. [When I said be honest, I didn’t mean go all the way in the other direction and have a total melt.] You know what? I hate you. [Well, I don't particularly like you either.] I AM YOU. [And that's why we're in therapy.]

It's okay. It's okay. Bring it back. Start small. Just be a normal guy, doing a normal show. Look - there's your audience. Why don't you say something to them? Ask how they're doing? Crack off some regional banter? Joke about the weather! No, not the weather, actually. It’s burning us all to death. Just say hello.

INTRO HELLO, IPSWICH! Yes, I am Dan, I am doing a show. That’s why I’m here, that is what is happening. People of Ipswich, how are you tonight? [happy screams] Liars. Ooh, happy screaming. You can’t try that shit with me. I’ve got xray goggles for fear and anxiety, okay. That’s alright. I’m happy to go along with the lies. That’s why you’re all here, yeah? To leave our problems at the back of the doors and hope that at no point I leave a long enough silence for the intrusive thoughts in the back of your head to pop up and remind you of the one thing you’re trying not to think about right now.

I wouldn’t do that to you guys! Come on, really. I’ll distract your mind, it’s fine. Fill the voice with noise. Blah blah blah, blah blah. Look, we’ve got some lights. Here’s a funky sound! Ooh, it’s a picture of a dog. Wow, listen. I’m making jokes. Airplane food, am I right? Clean up in aisle two. That’s what she said. There we go, all your problems are gone, death isn’t inevitable, and we are gonna have one good night!

Okay guys - this is serious. This is an affirmation. All of you here are just gonna have one good night. [audience screams] Hell yeah. Now I’m sure what you’re wondering is - if we’re here to have a good night, why am I doing a show called We’re All Doomed? Valid. Mainly I just thought it would be really funny to scare the shit out of people walking past the theater when they see this. *something*, Mamma Mia, Mary Poppins, We’re All Doomed?! [screams]

We have a poster. It’s very tacky and pleasant. That’s just a jump scare for people at the bus stop isn’t it? Who is this very extremely tall child wearing a sandwich board looking like a creepy preacher from a town central/extra in a Kanye music video. Hi, it me. The branding is mainly black, obviously, because I’m a fucking emo. I’m one of those people that only wears black. So philosophical and fashionable, yeah. More like a performative acceptance of the darkness in me, so I can procrastinate any kind of emotional feeling that might be required *something* you know what I’m saying. But I look cool, yeah?!

But to be fair. There is a pop of color in there, the accent of orange just for contrast. As so many of you so helpfully pointed out, it’s literally the Pornhub logo. [audience cheers] *something* But it is too late, okay. We’ve printed the merch, the posters are up, get over it, okay. Get over it. To be fair I think we could have had the tour sponsored by Grindr, that’s a missed opportunity. Could have had a themed segment where I react to strangely toxic men telling me that my facial structure is too effeminate. Reporting me for not sending him feet pics. Or reporting me for catfishing as Dan Howell - which has happened, by the way. People have tried to catfish using my pictures. Don’t know what they’re thinking, should I be Timothy Chalamet, Troye Sivan… no, no. I need someone believably sad, lonely, and horny: Dan Howell. They gotta be careful. I don’t know who they’re gonna get nibbling on that line, but some of these fuckers are crazy.

We’re All Doomed is not just for the memes on the screens, though. This is a tour that I felt I had to go on to get out of the house and out of my head. It’s a show about the thoughts that are lurking and swirling in my mind. I want to be honest with you guys, do that uncomfortable oversharing thing. I am not just here to talk about having a weird crush on Tony the Tiger, okay. What, you don’t see it? He could throw you across the room with those arms. And cover you in frosting, rwar.

If I did a show about all the reasons why I’m stressed at humanity’s doom, then all of my problems become your problems. You know how they say a problem shared is a problem halved? Well there’s like a thousand people here right now. Forget halving, I am decimating this bitch. Literally and now a tiny piece of my problem is inside all you. [audience reacts] Don’t act like that.

Now, the problem when all the world is such a dystopian nightmare is where to begin. But our mission for tonight, therefore, is to look at all the ways in which humanity might be irrevocably fucked. And who knows, maybe you will find something to be hopeful for the future. And if not, at least we will have had one good night before we all go up in flames!

Now where to start… hmm. Nature is dying, robot rebellion is coming, our phones are secretly filming us shit. You seem surprised by this. They’ve got you in 4k popping a squat and they don’t give a shit about it. Why don’t we start there? Let's talk about the screens.

SCREENS Social media is 100% the downfall of humanity, and I say that as someone whose entire life relies on three apps. Not youtube, instagram, and facebook - onlyfans, facetuner, and *something.* While I heat my toast in the morning.

Every day when I wake up, I am terrified to reach over to my phone and see what things have been happening in the world. And thus… the doom scrolling begins. You know what doom scrolling is right? You sit back just a moment to look at your phone - then it’s FOURTEEN DAYS LATER. You lost your job, you smell like shit. All of your houseplants are dead. You go to scratch your leg, it’s not there. The cat ate it to avoid starvation. Our phones are literal black holes full of the worst things we can find. Terrible natural disasters and awful news about your favorite celebrity. Or the worst thing at all - that really annoying friend asking if you want to go for a coffee some time.

Yeah, that’s the worst thing. I would rather lose a hundred hectares of rainforest than spend an hour in Cafe Nero making small talk, staring into a latte wishing it would jump out of my cup and drown me. No - come up with an excuse. I’ll just say my grandma died. It works for everything, that’s a great excuse. The only problem is you can only use it once. Or twice for the other side of the family. Or more if you have a polyamorous lesbian grandma. Anyone here plan on becoming a polyamorous lesbian grandma? [audience cheers] Alright!

But for real, *something* we can’t look away from it. As humans we are naturally drawn toward the doom and gloom. It’s an evolutionary need to perceive every possible threat. Flight or fight, yeah? Or flight or curl up in a ball and *something* to death. *something* Social media companies know this. They know we want to see things that are terrible, so they feed us with an endless stream of bite-sized tragedy that are like anxiety hit tracks.

[something happening on the screen] Doom! Doom! Doom! Aww. Doom! Doom!

See what I’m talking about? It’s that easy. But it’s not just the bad things. I think it’s also the good things that make you feel terrible when you see status updates from your popular attractive friends living their best lives, ugh. Truly nothing is as insufferable as other people’s joy. They got engaged, they got promoted, they went on holiday and touched an elephant. They ran a marathon and they raised loads of money for charity. What a twat. Has anyone here run a marathon before? [audience laughs] Fuck. I found my people, okay.

You done exercise before? [No.] What was that - oh, you’re saying ‘um’ because you’re in a wheelchair, you have an excuse. I love the extremely confident ‘um’ from you there. We’re all desperately trying to turn our lives into content. I think instagram is just a horrible place filled with fake people trying to present these perfect lives. Some of us are just more secure in the knowledge of how insecure we are, and I think we should get credit for being honest with ourselves. Yeah - *something* No. Not in this house. Guys, we need a word for this.

But *sensually?* experiencing life around us has definitely taken a backseat to capturing it on camera. Even live events like this - the key word being live. I get it. You obviously want to take some kind of memory for posterity, but we’ve all been at a gig where there’s some guy in the front row holding up a fucking second generation ipad air *something* - GREG! Drop the fucking tablets *something* so I can see Dan outline his fashion statements.

Okay. But I get it, the urge is strong. That is why I asked you kindly to try and connect with me in this room tonight. Not physically, *something* obviously. I want you to connect with each other. Find each other after the show. Talk about the good time you had slash *something.* But if you don’t publicly post spoilers about the show just for the Australians that have to wait for 2023 for this shit *something* there’s not gonna be an Australian in 2023. It’s gonna be me doing this to a koala in a fallout shelter. However, just in case someone is secretly filming this on a spycam or perhaps streaming this to a contraband twitter space from a phone in their pocket now.

I have an announcement. Hi, and welcome to the *something* I’m your host Dan Howell and I’d like to confirm for the record, I’m a Tory. I’m actually straight. I have a six pack, a sixteen inch penis, and a tattoo of *Armie Hammer?* on my left butt cheek. Oh yeah. Armie Hammier. *something* The reverse Call Me By Your Name. That’s when you take a bite out of the peach then come in it. [audience boos] I thought I was allowed to express myself! Are you trying to bully me back into the closet? I see how it is.

Look. I think the internet is fucking amazing. It is a place where people can come together and find communities, they can share information, get representation that they wouldn’t get in real life. It saves lives. It saved mine. If I didn’t escape the bubble of my homophobic childhood I might not be here today. It’s the reason why we are all together in this room right now, and I think that that is awesome.

[audience cheers]

But on the other hand we’ve got guys filming themselves throwing milk on the floor in a shop - wow. And I hear fascism’s back in style, oh well. Play some Muse(?). Did you see what happened to Gabbie Hanna the other day? Girl potentially having a breakdown on TikTok and some guy turns up at her house to secretly film her because, I don’t know, banging content? Is this where we’re heading? Is this the future? This is what I’m afraid of, right? The internet just gives us all this power to make our lives amazing but it’s also drawing us toward doom and desperation and I’m afraid that if things keep going the way they are, we’re going to crash and burn.

[visual element]

Now perhaps the biggest danger of our social media addiction… Can you guess? Is data harvesting, okay! Because every single thing you do is being monitored. The likes, the dislikes, the friends, the transactions, the incognito tab - they know all of it okay. I want to give a shoutout to the FBI agent assigned to my internet. That guy has seen some shit. He needs therapy. But our privacy is all up for grabs, and to demonstrate this I am now going to grab a member of the audience and force them to show us their camera roll. [drumroll sound effects]

Why would I do that? Hell. What! No. But for real, l that is what every app is doing to all of us right now. [audience screams] Bunch of exhibitionists. When we think about privacy, we only really care about two things - our browser history being exposed and our nudes being leaked. But the truth is unless your password is the name of your dog, you’re probably fine. Anyone here have the name of their dog as their password? What’s your dog’s name? Percy? That is a short fucking password, okay. Oh, dear.

Privacy is really an issue for all of us, thinking about it. But the truth is that our news or searches for Sonic the Hedgehog mpreg gore are not very interesting. No offense. What they wanna know is every single boring thing you do. The posts you like, the ads you click on, the images you scroll by just for a second and think ‘hmm, I would.’ Don’t shame me, okay. You want to fight, don’t you. Okay, I see how it goes. But what is the evil end goal for all this data harvesting, you’re wondering? It’s just adverts. They just want to give us more personal adverts, how nice of them. It’s like digging through someone’s trash and then turning up at their front door like, ‘Hey, want some of this?’

I swear to god I only get adverts for things I literally just bought. I’ll be, I don’t know, buying some oranges so I don’t get scurvy because I don’t ever leave the house, and instagram will be like… hath thou considered this citrus? Bit late, mate. Why don’t you give me something that I need, like toilet roll. Ideally before I run out and have to start tearing pages out of my promo copy of Tom Daly’s autobiography. Do not make me put Tom Daly in my ass! Again. Legend.

In 2020, it was leaked that Facebook had a secret operation called Operation (?). That sounds nice, doesn’t it? They want to find out if their algorithm had learned to exploit our attraction to devices by deliberately putting (?) and political views together, and it absolutely was. And you know what they did when they found out facebook was doing it? NOTHING. Because when society is being ripped apart, you scroll past loads of ads. It’s great for business! And that might be scary, right. Because if the apps can control the content we see, they can control how we feel. Facebook makes you angry. Instagram makes you sad. Duolingo makes you horny. No? You might say… hornay. You don’t like that? Can anyone say horny in another language?

[audience interaction about saying horny]

This is scary, right? Thinking that the phones have this much control over our lives? WRONG. I think it’s a great thing. I would love for my life to be controlled by a machine. Or maybe I just crave domination, I don’t know. Life is hard. I don’t want to make these decisions. What t-shirt am I going to wear today, what bus do I have to catch to be on time, which pornhub category will I dive into and then feel deep shame about for several months? I do not want to make these decisions, okay. I just want an ad to be like Dan, wear a blue t-shirt for once. Get the 12 local bus and stop being (?). Dive into DILF tag for a good time.

Now, we’re not quite there yet. But one thing's for sure - we will all be replaced by robots one day. I have a couple of friends that are already halfway there. [Phil on screen] THey can do anything we can do. They can build cars, harvest crops, keep you on the phone to the bank for half an hour before I realize I’m just realize stupid. But surely there are some things that these AI programs can’t do? Mm, you’d be shocked. They’re replacing our pets with indestructible metal dogs. Have you seen that? What the fuuuuuck! Oh, don’t worry, they’re just for delivering items across terrain. Definitely not hunting down (?) in 2032 (?) with their metal snouts. If that dog humped your leg, you’d end up with third degree burns.

But what is safe? Human consciousness, art, love. No, none of those things! Love isn’t real. Love is just a toxic manipulative relationship where you need something from someone so you give them affection and the occasional disappointing orgasm. Unless it’s the love you have for your mother. Hopefully. But what about art? The creative reflection on life that separates us from the beats and the binary code? Are there any artists here? [audience cheers] ART IS ALREADY DEAD. A computer can do anything way better than you! Some of these AI art programs are a bit shit and you’re not quite redundant yet. I’m sure you all still have PTSD from that time I asked one to show Dan Howell experiencing happiness for the first time. Yes, (?). They say that the eyes are the window to the soul and my soul is an asshole.

I got access to the big boy Dall-E and I made this AI visualize my fantasies.

[section of AI images appearing on screen]

But hey - so maybe they’re taking our jobs, they’re taking our art. Perhaps this is the last bastion right here. Human communication. We want to have connections with real people. We want to share stories, move each other emotionally, make jokes about depression and penises. And surely a robot could never replace this, right?

Well. I’d like to introduce you to someone.

[deep fake of Dan appears on screen]

Hi, Dan.

[deep fake: Hi, Dan.]

I’m so turned on right now. I commissioned a deep fake of myself to prove definitively that even I could be replaced or even subversed by a machine. He’s also running my onlyfans.

[If you want feet pics, that’s extra.]

This computer generated me can do all kinds of things I can’t do. He does exercise. You could juice an orange with those biceps. He can juggle. He’s really good at (?).

[I hate my job and my audience terrifies me.]

He’s also heterosexual.

[I am attracted to the form of breasts.]

He has an easier life than me. He’s everything I’m not. Outdoorsy. Active. Brave. Look at that. So realistic. I don't know how many of you noticed, but he actually did all the programming for this tour.

[I am so excited to go back on the road. I love living on a bus sharing one toilet between nine people.]

Hell, I could even be a deep fake right now. If (?). It’s a fucking joke. (?)

He can sound like me. He can look exactly like me. But he cannot replicate my mind, because I am a complex human consciousness made of real experiences and emotions.

[But Dan, your consciousness follows a simple formula.]

Sorry, what?

[Your writing is a simple formula, too. I might even say predictable.]

Okay, rude.

[Popular topic plus personal experience divided self-depricating relatability minus obvious sexual innuendo equals Dan’s content.]

It’s not that simple. I’m speaking from the heart, here.

[Did you know I’m socially awkward? Just kidding, it’s depression. Also, do you know I’m gay? I like penis.]

Okay, anyone can do an impression.

[Dan, I can even predict where the show is going and how it will end.]

Spoilers.

[I can even make the point of the show in a much more entertaining and profound way.]

No, no you can’t.

[At the end of the day, maybe all you can do is-]

*Dan speaks over the recording and ends it*

CONSPIRACY THEORIES Now I'm sure you're thinking this is all sounding a bit tinfoil hats. "Ooh, Dan, the apps are controlling our minds. Alexa is secretly keeping a list of everybody that doesn't say thank you so she can ?? Dan! Aren't these just conspiracies?" Hell yes! And I love a conspiracy! Do you?

Well, I lied, I used to love conspiracies because, I don't know, conspiracies used to be funny. You'd hear about some bloke named Barry down the pub who knew the earth was flat and he had a mate that sailed to the edge and spill off the edge. And look he was obviously batshit and smelled like a salami but he wasn't hurting anyone! Apart from his liver and strange family. But! [laughs] I think all good conspiracies are simply stupid, epically unintelligent pieces of fun fiction that everybody can enjoy. Do you want to hear my favorite conspiracies? Here are my top three classic favorites.

Go.

Number one: Avril Lavigne ?? Classic. The story goes in 2006 Avril Lavigne died, presumably hit by a runaway skateboard or something, and her record label, desperate to keep making money from her touring, replaced her with a clone called Melissa! Now! You may think this is stupid, but can you tell the difference? Is this Avril or Melissa?

[shows something on screen] Ooh, what d'you think? [audience response] I like how you're like "I don't - fuck it - Melissa." This one? Oh, see now ?? What about this one?

[Liz Truss shows up on screen; audience laughs]

That's not Avril Lavigne, that's a fucking idiotic shell puppet that is an embarrassment to the country! [audience cheers]

Next conspiracy: chem trails! Yes, that's right, the naturally occurring streaks of water vapor that do come out of the back of every single plane. ?? it's piss tanks so we're all ?? are actually a cocktail of secret chemicals that are released to make the population stupid. Now, the only problem with this one is implying that the people that lose our luggage are being trusted with secret chemicals. You think RyanAir could successfully execute a bio-terrorist conspiracy? They can't execute a fucking frozen tikka masala. There you go, airplane food joke.

Next! It is: every TV game show is rigged. Obviously!? They can't be giving out max prize every single time, they have to save it for one episode a season. Who Wants To Be a Millionaire going a bit too well? How many atoms are there in all of space? Hmm! Oh what, you wanna ask the audience? Good luck, we've been pumping chem trails into the studio all day! We all know they get too close to 52k, secret hatch under the podium, swap out the card, go home with 50p. Well, The Chase ?? When they're looking for contestants they find thick people.

And those are my favorite conspiracies. They're great, right? The problem is that nowadays conspiracies are no longer being discussed in secret. Now teen tinfoilers are hitting the streets and taking action. I wanna know: whyyy are they so obsessed with the 5G towers? I need 5G, okay? I like fast Internet. I am not going back to 2006 watching porn on dial-up, sat in the kitchen, as the shaft of a penis slowly loads up the monitor of my mum's work PC, okay? No. We didn't need edging back then ?? Leave the 5G alone!

And these conspiracies they're not fun, they're dangerous. 'Cause yeah, 5G causes ?? And the freaking microchips in the vaccines. The queers are secretly going to overthrow society. And they're stupid, these conspiracies, they're like Trump toddlers knocked over a bowl of alphabet soup. I genuinely think that the people of Ipswich and not that came to the show just because it's the first one could come up with a better conspiracy theory that's more believable right now... It's time to play conspiracy theory madlibs!

CONSPIRACY THEORY MAD LIBS (**audience participation*) Popstar- Harry Styles Politician- Boris Johnson Verb- cumming Body Part- nipple Household Object- whisk Vegetable- eggplant

“Did you know that Harry Styles and Boris Johnson are secretly married? They consummated their marriage by coming on each other’s nipples and now they have two children called whisk and eggplant”

Song- bring me to life by evanescence Adjective- moist Animal- rat Group of people- furries “How are you feeling right now?”- horny

“If you listen to Bring Me To Life backwards there is a secret hidden message that the government is putting moist rat hormones in the furries in order to make them horny”

Make a noise- *fart noise* Influencer- Phil Lester Store- Primark Zoo Animal- zebra Children’s fictional character- Harry Potter

“There is a secret society called the *fart noise* and it’s run by Phil Lester. They meet every week in the basement of Primark. They meet to sacrifice zebras in order to appease their violent god, Harry Potter.”

Well, it's that easy to come up with a compelling conspiracy these days. And because of that it just feels like a lot of people that we know are - maybe not in a funny way, maybe in a concerning way - starting to go down the big conspiracy hole. And I think it is tempting to laugh at these people for just being stupid or label them as crazy, but I don't think that's fair, right? I don't think that they are necessarily evil. When people turn to conspiracies like this I think it's probably because they're depressed. Because society is fucked. People want something to hope for. They want to believe there's something more to life than just what we see every single day, so when they find out that there is a secret and now that they know the secret they are special and their help is needed to save the world, they just go all the way down then. Even if saving the world is screaming at confused ?? slipping hormones into the ?? turning teenagers queer. Ugh!

But the truth is there is no great conspiracy. There is no illuminati. There's no lizard people or secret government. It is just capitalism, working as intended. [dramatic choir music plays]

CAPITALISM Anyhow, concept: Perhaps literal billionaires could pay just a bit more tax and some people wouldn't have to be homeless? [audience cheers] Crazy commie thinking! If you wanna think like that you are gonna be licking raw concrete off the floor of a freezing Gulag whilst polishing a giant golden statue of Jeremy Corbyn! Okay? Oh god, no. That is what my granddad says to me every single Christmas, and this is a stupid thing, right? Not a hard thing but ?? [audience laughs] Oh dear. ??

The thing is when you look at any mainstream political party in the first world, no one is proposing a revolution. You've got all these crazy billionaire defense squads that are so scared to change anything when in reality no one is trying to turn this into Soviet Russia - just Denmark, okay? Same shit, same problems, just ever so slightly less horrifically evil, but nooo this is a crazy radical plot to give people marginally better public transport. [sound effect]

I personally, no matter what might happen to my crazy (plan or) career, will ever not feel financially stressed, because I have somehow ended up financially supporting my own family. Even if they haven’t always emotionally supported me. I once came home from school crying and told my mum that someone called me gay. She misheard me, thought I said "fat" and suggested I might cycle to youth theater on Saturdays. Yikes!

So I cannot look to anyone to bail me out if I fuck up. If I am on the stage like this where I say something horrible and I get sued - have I done that so far? [audience responds] What was it, was it the granddad thing? ?? I might be forced to move back to my homophobic hometown and that is not an option for me, okay?

Now, millennials, if you want some advice ?? That if you want to pay off your student loans, you just have to cancel your Netflix subscription, guys. If you want to pay off the average student loan of about 46,000 pounds you only need to cancel Netflix for 416 years. Which as it happens was the exact length of the latest Stranger Things season. Those episodes were thicc as fuck. ??

It is hard to visualize the scale of ?? the world when it is just these big numbers, so I have come up with an inappropriately whimsical metaphor: bubbles. But for this I’m going to need some help so welcome to the stage my unpaid intern, Bubbly Ben.

[something happening on stage]

Alright, you ready for this shit? Here we go. I will blow one bubble to represent the average UK salary. Do you know what it is? Any guesses? Depressing fact: 24,600 pounds. Here we go.

Fuck! ?? Whoops.

What about doctors, huh? How many bubbles do they deserve to get comparatively, do you know what their salary is? I like that you actually went quiet there. Well done, smartypants. It’s their job to literally keep us alive even if we swallow superglue, Phil Lester.

What was the UK’s most desired profession - you’re fucking right! Being a youtuber. Depressing. Now, your mileage might vary depending on success and shamelessly. But according to Forbes in 2020, Logan Paul made 18 million pounds. [audience reacts] Yay, Youtube! Filming dead bodies! Wow. What the fuck am I doing on an eighty day world tour talking about depression? I could just get punched by KSI and ??.

The big dog himself - Mr. Jeffery Bezos, the richest man on Earth. Now Jeff has frequently paid zero on annual federal income tax. In fact on his taxes in 2011 he claimed tax credits of $4,000 for his kids. I’m sure he needed it. But now after a few tough years for everybody, Jeff’s net worth is a cool 160b dollars. Release the bubbles!

Don’t worry, they don’t stain. Probably. We’ll find out.

The reality is that going by this shit bubble analogy, I’d have to release over 530,000 bubbles to accurately represent the amount of Smaug-like hoarding taking place here. So we are all told to be angry about that guy taking our bubble or that guy taking five while Jeff here is sat on a fucking bubble bath of warehouse workers tears, scrubbing his back with the spines of books that are suspiciously cheaper than ??

You may be thinking - Amazon’s convenient, they have everything! True. But you don’t get to number one just by being good. You need some smart business decisions like making your delivery drivers piss in bottles so they keep working longer. Did you like my bubble gun by the way? Got it off Amazon. Oh sorry I didn’t find any organic farm to shop local suppliers of bubble guns in my local area, no. And this is it guys - we live in a society! And until the government forces businesses to play nice, nothing is gonna change. So hey, if you’re an elderly political that isn’t gonna live long enough to see the suffering, starvation, and inevitable revolution, who gives a fuck, right? Keep your foot on the pedal and with a little luck you’ll leave it to your fucked up kids to inherit your empire of a desolate planet.

[sound effects]

CLIMATE CRISIS Of all the problems in our human society - the doom scrolling, the inequality, there is something truly terrifying on the horizon: climate change.

Yes, the boss level of all pain and misery, and it is truly the ultimate existential threat and yet our problem is half the people just don’t think it’s real or simply don’t give a shit. And yeah, I get it, change is scary, okay. I totally lost my shit when they changed the font on the twitter app.

This is arguably almost as serious as that. But some of these climate deniers, they have spent their whole lives driving land rovers, eating twelve steaks a day, just throwing beer cans out the window and now some short Swedish girl pops up on the tv and calls them evil? This is a violent paradigm shift. It’s like when people tell me to stop sexualizing cereal mascots - I will not do it. No, no. The Sugar Puffs monster can demolish my bussy. I’m revealing myself.

Now, I’m pretty green, personally. Maybe because I don’t go outside. Turns out ?? use of heat occasionally. I’m basically vegan which means sometimes when I’m sad I have a milk chocolate and then cry thinking about the cows. Which makes me sad so I have another chocolate. It’s a vicious cycle. A delicious, vicious cycle. Also I might have had sushi once but it was on my birthday. I didn’t eat the sushi, I thought about it, okay!

Yet again I am literally on a global tour right now. My mission to save my soul and give you all one good night might as well be flying a burnt out car into Greta’s driveway, and yet the rub is just one hundred companies are responsible for seventy one percent of all global emissions. And that just means our individual actions pale in comparison to a handful of corporations and their shareholders. We’ve got all the guilt about this stuff while they’re just a bunch of comic book villains demolishing rain forests and setting the ocean on fire and embedding immortal microplastics in every single living being.

Some people are gonna be in for a shock when the system comes crashing down. And hey, where are we even gonna live when half the earth is a scorched desert? If only we knew who to call.

[sound effects, something on screen introducing next section]

DENIAL My name is Dean Niall, realtor to the dying stars and today I am here to let you in on the secret up side of the current ecological collapse which is - serious savings! Are you a young person that’s afraid to get a property line because the boomers are a bunch of money grubbing bastards? Booo! Well, feast your eyes on what they left behind.

[visual heavy segment where he advertises property during the apocalypse]

So is this it? Is this our fate, hmm? I think it is kinda terrifying to feel like we have no control over our future, so maybe I can lift the mood of the room by reminding you all that at literally any moment the sun could burn and in seven minutes all life on earth would go up in a blazing ball of molting plasma, yay!

Alright! Now you feel better, don’t you? Your problems seem so insignificant because they are insignificant. It could be anything! A fuck off rock coming from outer space, alien inviasion (although lets be honest, I’d probably like a cheeky probe), the bees having colony collapse disorder. If the bees disappear we’ve got four years until all life on earth shrivels and dies. Now that’s a stinger. It could be anything. A black hole could just get shit out of space from the solar system and we would instantly turn to string! At any moment. Like now! Are you ready? Have you got your affairs in order? Have you cleaned your browsing history so your family doesn’t find your smut stash. Don’t worry, it doesn’t matter! Have you prepared? Prepared to be string? Cool. In the face of such unimaginable cosmic horror, there is truly no hope at all.

You know I thought that talking about these problems would make me feel better, that’s kind of the point. But I’ve got to be honest, we are boned. I thought that doing this tour would uh, be a kind of ??, give me something to look forward to.?? But there is nothing to look forward to but the inevitable end. What’s the point of even trying? You know what, I should just have just eaten the goddamn sushi. I should just post feet pics and get more followers. I should have sold all of your data to china, cryptocurrency. I should have bought the deep fake for meet and greet. I could have posted every conspiracy I have on facebook. I should have done this tour on a private jet, crashed Harry Styles house, put the whole thing on a fucking ?? ipad. [words get increasibly buried under a heavy bass]

BREAK FOR INTERMISSION

#wad spoilers

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episodeoftv · 9 months

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Prelims, BoJack Horseman

The top 2 results will move on to the main bracket

propaganda and summaries are under the cut (May include spoilers)

1.11 Downer ending

BoJack embarks on a project in his typically gonzo style, leading to a drug-fueled revelation.

So I see that some other Bojack episodes have submitted AND THEY ARE ALL BANGERS TOO. But I think this one is a bit underrated when it comes to great episodes of Bojack Horseman. A lot of season 1 gets underrated because it starts off sort of hard to watch & the later seasons get so good that it's easy to forget. But Downer Ending really takes my breath away every time I watch it and leaves me with this feeling of despair and unease. And, unlike the later episodes, I have not gotten that despair fatigue that sets in at season 6 (not dissing it! Still a great season.)

4.02 The Old Sugarman Place

BoJack goes off the grid and winds up at his grandparents' dilapidated home in Michigan where he reflects on his family legacy and befriends another soul haunted by the past.

A clever, contained, sharp look at generational trauma and grief. Uses flashbacks but also lets events overlap on screen so that BoJack's family are literally haunting the narrative. Eddie is an excellent single episode character - his duet across time with Honey is properly heart wrenching. It's also very funny. He said his name was Hambone Fakenamington.

4.11 Time's Arrow

In 1963, young socialite Beatrice Sugarman meets the rebellious Butterscotch Horseman at her debutante party.

incredible portrayal of memory and dementia, adds depth to a character who'd previously just been a fairly one dimensional bad mother but becomes a fully realised person over the course of just twenty minutes, some of the best creative use of animation and visuals in an adult animated series

5.06 Free Churro

BoJack delivers a eulogy at a funeral.

The whole episode is one 20 minute monologue delivered by a cartoon horse and it's one of the most compelling things I've ever seen in my life.

6.15 The View From Halfway Down

BoJack reconnects with faces from his past.

Listen... Bojack has a lot of THAT EPISODE episodes, but this one just takes the cake. It's the penultimate episode of the show, in which the main character (SPOILERS) attends a dinner party inside his own mind with every character who has died over the course of the show. They all have deeply philisophical discussions about what it means to live a selfless, morale life, the value of sacrifice, the role of religion in personal fulfillment. Every background detail is packed with so much symbolism, the shape of a chair, the bridge the characters take a smoke break on. It's got an amazing dream-like quality, every small detail like a wire phone stretching too far, things getting misplaced, characters get older and no one comments on it, ect. But this is also the episode that just RIPS into Bojack as a character (which the show is already pretty famous for) but he's forced to face EVERY mistake, and watch all the people he's lost fade into the darkness (all in ways that mirror how they actually died) while trying to confront his own mortality, and coming to the realisation that - he's dying. He's drowning in the pool and this is all happening inside his own head. Everything everyone tells him, the ways they're acting in this episode, that's not who they actually are, those nice things aren't things they'd actually say, it's just what he WANTS them to be like. And at the end he has to stop running from the darkness that's already taken everyone around him, and just let it take him. Stop fighting, just let go. And then, rather than the usual end credits song, we just hear a flatline that runs throughout the credits. It fucks you up so bad.

Takes place entirely in the main character's mind while he's on the brink of death, genuinely terrifying especially considering the rest of the show is a dramedy, some of the greatest voice acting work I've ever heard, the titular poem performed in the episode is incredibly haunting

#bojack horseman #episodeoftv #polls #poll #prelim #tournament poll

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hellsbellschime · 1 year

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Dying at the thought of them having filmed scenes of Alys eating Daemon down with WORDS lmao. Also very interested to see how House Strong men carry themselves over at Harrenhal, whether Larys will have a word with them, how Alys perceives them... Just a family mess. Before Aemond slaughters them, that is 🙃

LOL I know it's a super specific reference point, but I'm imagining Alys meeting Daemon being like the first scene between Hank and Saul in Breaking Bad where Hank tries to diss him and Saul just drags him for filth.

youtube

#hotd spoilers for ts

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merv606 · 8 months

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Ok, latest installment of Mercy.

“He’s not Terry’s prisoner - he never was.”

Cool, so’s he free to leave then? … That’s what I thought…My god the Cog Diss in this guy is truly astounding.

“Maybe if he pushes Terry far enough the older man will finish off the job he started that night at Stingray’s apartment. Maybe this time he’ll go too far and…”

Oh, Daniel… the decline in his mental health… I’m wondering if either the doctor or nurse has or will suggest anti-depressants for him. I imagine, given their profession, they’re seeing what Terry isn’t (or what he’s choosing to see as something else), no matter how much Terry is paying them to look the other way.

“I gave you freedom… Daniel makes a show of moving his leg, the restraint stopping him from moving it too far.”

God, I can actually see him doing this, no change in expression… LOVE the sass in this man. 😆

“So Daniel gets the pills.”

That worries me, too - roughly how long has he been held captive at this point? How long as he been kept drugged and/or sedated? That has to have an effect on his health.

The ring… Kinda saw it coming, kinda didn’t … “Couldn’t be salvaged” my ass. You know Terry did that on purpose! The fact that he actually gave him the broken pieces… I half expected he was gonna wrestle it from a screaming and crying Daniel or make him give it up. Somehow this is worse, and perfectly inline with Terry.

Terry just takes what he wants then lies about whos whys and hows. To himself and his victim.

I am a little surprised he bothered to give it back, what was this thought process on that?

And it’s just like Terry’s brain to immediately turn to images of Daniel blowing him, *right after* showing him his destroyed ring.

Then he’s like, “Well Daniel’s in a mood today.”

????

This guy has zero empathy and is totally off his rocker.

I can only imagine how Daniel is going to react when he’s forced to sign the divorce papers… and I have no doubt Terry will make Daniel sign them (as opposed to forging them), as a way to drive home the situation and convince himself that, in the act of signing (no matter that it’s under duress), that Daniel is somehow complicit in all this. That they’re taking this journey “together.”

“He would’ve do this for anyone after all.” Which is probably why Daniel is wishing he was anyone else right about now.

“Moldova”… I think our reaction was pretty much the same as Daniel’s. Shit, Terry wasn’t kidding when he said they really will never find him… not that we thought he was, but…

And when Terry actually thinks Daniel is squeezing his hand out of affection instead of horror and panic…

🤮

“Sometimes we have to break the things we love to build them back up stronger than before.”

Holy Hell, this man just DOES NOT see what he doesn’t want to see.

“Right now, he gives into fear and it breaks his heart but all he wants is the reprieve the blankness brings.”

Baby, our hearts have broken right along with yours.

I need to gather this man into my arms and take him straight back to Chozen while slapping Amanda and Johnny upside the head on the way. Chozen will be in touch with them about visitation rights.

I AM DYING FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!!!

👆🏻

Terry isn’t really living in reality and, by necessity, to some degree, neither is Daniel.

Thanks so much - I hope the next chapter and all that come after keep delivering.

Even in death, he’s afraid of disappointing Miyagi and not living up to his memory and teachings.

#ask #I got an ask 🤩#cobra kai #daniel larusso #terry silver #karate kid #silverusso #silverrusso #mercy is a sharp knife

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anime-of-the-day · 10 months

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Anime of the day underrated isekai ?

To answer your question, I’ll have to break the genre down a bit. When I think if isekai, I think of the action adventure fantasy types, the slice of life types, and the romance types. I’ve gone ahead an included the ones I plan to watch at the bottom. I know that some of these are more well known. I just kinda picked the ones I enjoyed watching.

Adventure/Fantasy:

Ascendance of a Bookworm is about a girl who is obsessed with books. After dying under a pile of books, she is reincarnated as a sickly girl in a loving family; however, in order to achieve her goal of having books, she will have to revolutionize the world. I’ve had so much fun reading the light novels of this series, and the anime does a good job adapting it.

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime is a slime who wants to become friends with humanity. While he was originally a human, Rimuru is now a slime, and while he didn’t have an original goal, after meeting a dragon and some goblins, he sets his sights on befriending humanity. I’m currently on volume 8 of Slime’s light novel series. I was reading a volume a day for a while there. I’ve been holding myself back on reading number 8.

Saga of Tanya the Evil is about a man who, after dissing a god, is reincarnated into the body of a girl. However, he takes his position as Tanya very seriously, and he plans to give Tanya, who was a starving orphan, a better life. So, Tanya joins the military and earns the nickname the "Devil of the Rhine. I also collect this series. It was such a switch from the standard isekai format.

So I'm a Spider, So What? Is about a girl who’s whole class gets reincarnated, but she doesn’t know this. She ends up a spider and does anything and everything she can to survive. By now you probably recgonize a pattern. I also collect this one.

Reincarnated as a Sword is another strange recarnation story. This is the story of Fran, a black cat beastman who yerns to evolve, and Shishou, a man who was reincarnated into a magical sword. The light novels for this series are so fun to read! I can’t wait for the next volume to drop!

Overlord is one of the big names in the genre. You have probably seen it. I also collect this one.

The Boy and the Beast is about a boy who accidentally stumbles into a beast realm. It is here that he makes a home, but the more time he spends in the human world, the more he wonders what life might be like on the other side.

My Isekai Life: I Gained a Second Character Class and Became the Strongest Sage in the World is about a guy who gets epic slime master powers.

Slice Of Life:

Restaurant to Another World is about a restaurant who’s door magically appears in specific places. Once inside the guests can enjoy a wide range of food. I do collect this series. It can be challenging to get volumes for it, but I try.

Kuma Kuma Kuma Bear is about a gamer girl who is tossed into a fantasy world with an overpowered bear onesie. And while she is embarrassed by her attire, she doesn’t let it stop her from enjoying her life.

I've Been Killing Slimes for 300 Years and Maxed Out My Level is about a witch who has been killing slimes for about 300 years and has accidently maxed out her level. Once words starts getting around, challengers start showing up ruing Azusa’s easy going life.

Campfire Cooking in Another World with My Absurd Skill is about a guy who cooks in another world. I feel like a lot of these titles are self explanatory.

Farming Life in Another World is about guy who wanted a nice easy life farming, so he gets reincarnated with a magic farming tool and gets dropped in the middle of an extremely dangerous forest, but he doesn’t know this, and he builds a farm.

Parallel World Pharmacy is about a medical researcher who is reborn as a ten-year-old named Falma. He decides he wants to help people, and he crates a medical practice; however, this worlds medican is crazy different from what he is use to, so he’s gonna be making a lot of waves.

Uncle from Another World is about an uncle who was in a coma in the human world, but who was reincarnated into a fantasy world. One day he wakes up and he has to learn how to handle living in the modern world. He is also a hard core SEGA fan.

Romance:

The Saint's Magic Power is Omnipotent is about Sei, an office worker reincarnated into another world. However, she was not the only one summoned. Aira was also summoned, and the crown prince decrees that Aira, who was a high schooler, is the saint and he completely ignores Sei. So, she joins a research instatude and enjoys her life. That is till she accidentally starts tossing around incredible amounts of magic everywhere. Volume 8 of this series will be coming out soon. I can’t wait!

Why Raeliana Ended up at the Duke's Mansion is about Raeliana being reincarnated into a book she has read. Which means she knows her character is distended to die, so now she must find a way around her death without destroying the plot too much.

My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! Is about a gamer girl who is reincarnated into an otome game as the villainess, but she doesn’t want to have a crappy ending, so she takes over hellbent on not dying.

I'm the Villainess, So I'm Taming the Final Boss is about a girl who decides, after being reincarnated as a villainess, to make the demon king her husband. I also collect this series; it’s quite funny.

The Magical Revolution of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady is about Anis, who can’t use magic but creates magical devices the work kinda like magic, and Euphyllia, Anis’s brother’s ex-fiance. Because Ains can’t use magic, she cannot rule and is kinda useless, so her brother is forced into an engagement to Euphyllia, who he publicly rejects in place of a commer girl. So, Ains tries to fix Euphyllia’s messed up life. I collect this series too.

Ones I Haven’t Watched Yet, But Am Very Intrested In:

Reborn as a Vending Machine, I Now Wander the Dungeon

Saving 80,000 Gold in Another World for My Retirement

Isekai Izakaya: Japanese Food From Another World

The Most Heretical Last Boss Queen

I'm in Love with the Villainess

Suicide Squad Isekai

No Longer Allowed In Another World

#anime review #anime recommendation #anime #anime of the day #anime rec list #anime rec #isekai

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ambermistwing · 1 year

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When I first watch the playthrough of the first and second gargoyle's quest, I loved everything about it, the music, the graphics, the gamelan and the story, how firebrand is a red gargoyle demon (Red Arremer) and a respected warrior and friend, and how he cares for his village and the other ghouls, seeing his allies die as they were giving him messages and his village being destroyed was heart breaking, and as he goes to help his people and fight the evil as the prophecized hero of the ghoul realm known as the Red Blaze I was engaged. Even the music was fantastic, like for example Hell Field, despite the name it is the most beautiful and peaceful music in the game, and so many different covers on YouTube.

There were so many moments that I loved from Gargoyles quest, some I would call wholesome, like when one of the ghouls offered to test Firebrand's strength and congratulates him at the end of the game. One of my most favorite wholesome parts was when firebrand, after learning that he is the decendent of the oringinal Red Blaze and gains the eternal candle from Rushifell, he hears a voice in his head saying "You are our son. Show us your real power and defeat the king of destruction." It really warmed my heart reading that, hearing his parent(s) encouraging him.

Gargoyle's quest II is chronologically and canonically the first game with the original Red Blaze (who was also conveniently called Firebrand), it's almost the same as the first one but had new graphics and colorful design, even new characters that help him, it was fun and interesting and new areas were fun, it was sad for him to have witnessed his entire village and king dying in front of him but he was able to overcome the evil in the end and be the warrior he always wanted to be (I could say more but I'm not as good with describing as others are, but I also don't want to make it too long for you guys) These two games were different from other games at that time because of how a demon was portrayed as a hero, instead of a human just fighting monsters, it had good monsters as well as bad monsters (it can also be said for the demon's crest npcs that weren't enemies) because usually in games we only see it from the humans perspective or we just play as a monster killing people, it is unique for me though I realize probably not for some of you, yes there are the tmnt who save humans, but I mean like from firebrand in ghouls and goblins he was seen as a boss you had to defeat, but in these games we get a look at how his kind views him and from his perspective.

Demon's crest was a different response for me, cause while the story was interesting but the gameplay was a little eh for me (I'm not dissing it, this is just my opinion of it, it doesn't mean it's bad, peopleactuallysay it'sgood so go watch or play it and form your own opinions) the story starts with firebrand fighting to obtain the elemental crests on them to end the Civil War in the demon realm or to discover 'true power' but as he was wounded he was attacked with a cheap shot by Phalanx, who set the realm on fire and blames him for it, he took everything from him except his will. The design of the game was good but reminded me of those games you would play at an arcade ( like the game Skull was playing in the movie monster house 'thou art dead', or other games like that which i think they were trying to base it off of) which to me was weird cause I was used to the first two games designs, the character design was cool (the head was weird for me) and I liked that he could change forms with every stone you gain, the music was great and I loved how you would fly from place to place in the overworld, but this would lead to some people going out of order or just go to the final boss, which would lead to one of the four endings (bad, neutral, good, and best ending) the time stone was confusing for me. But I loved still love that game and if you want to check it out, consider getting the game or watch the playthrough on YouTube.

If you wish to learn more about him then check out the wiki or just play the games and watch the playthrough https://ghostsngoblins.fandom.com/wiki/Firebrand

All in all I really love it but I fear that these games is super underrated and so is firebrand, he's amazing but feel like there is so much potential for him and the Fandom, but there's hardly any mention of him and no fanfiction about him or gargoyle's quest or demon's crest at all, or even any x reader fanfics of him (don't judge) one day I hope he gets his own game again in the future, maybe him going to the human realm in his perspective, and maybe different then just king Arthur's realm in ghost and goblins. Or most likely a fanfic of him meeting the Disney gargoyles (I think it would be an interesting story, also funny if they ask "why is this gargoyle naked, also he does kinda look like my man Brooklyn)

#gargoyle's quest #brooklyn #gargoyles brooklyn #demon's crest #firebrand #first post #rant post #Gargoyles are awesome

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jimbles-archive · 6 months

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BRO CODE

Article 1: Bros before hoes. Always remember, girlfriends come and go, but your boys are always there. Breaking this rule is to commit the cardinal sin against Team Testosterone.

Article 2: Never drink the last beer, unless you've been granted specific permission that it's OK.

Article 3: If a girl falls into the following criteria, she is off limits forever until the end of time:

A. Was an ex-girlfriend. B. Your friend specifically told you he wanted her. C. Is you're buddy's sister.

However, if it's your buddy's cousin, well she's up for grabs, and you're welcome to rub it in his face for years to come.

Article 4: Never diss a guy if his team just lost a crushing game.

Article 5: You must never own a cat.

New amendment to this rule: A Bro may never own more than 2 cats, but only if they adhere to the Bro Code

Article 6: If you get 2 tickets to the big game, the priority list for granting the second ticket is as follows:

Your best friends (in order of how long you've known them).

Your acquaintances.

Your co-workers.

The mailman.

The UPS guy.

NASA.

John Kerry. ….1,485,726. Your girlfriend.

Article 7: You are allowed to enjoy exactly one chick TV show, and one chick flick. You may have no more.

Article 8: Birthday and Christmas presents for your guy friends are optional. Beer always makes a great gift.

Article 9: If you go the bar with your buddies, you must buy a round of drinks at least once. The Bro with the better paying job is required to buy the first round. If the other Bro is temporarily out of money or left his wallet at home drinks can be lended yet in the long run these drinks must be repaid, later that night by wingman services or any other act of entertainment or at the next gathering.

Article 10: There are no mercy rules when playing someone in Madden, hoops, street hockey, bare-fisted boxing, etc.

Article 11: If you owe someone money, pay them back as soon as humanly possible—unless it's a gambling debt, which must be paid immediately.

Article 12: Standard shotgun rules are as follows.

A. Shotgun may only be called within full sight of the car. B. Shotgun must be called outside. C. Shotgun calls last approximately ten minutes. D. Shotgun never carries over to a second ride.

Article 13: NO PDA (Public Displays of Affection).

Article 14: It's alright to cheat at any game where money isn't involved. In certain circumstances, relationships may be classified as "games."

Article: 15: Don't tell other guys elaborate stories about your weightlifting exercise routine. No one cares.

Article 16: Never openly question another guy's sports wisdom, unless said information specifically pertains to your favorite team.

Article 17: When out with the guys, never accept a call from your girlfriend—unless she's dying or trapped under a burning fuel truck, and if that's the case, make it quick.

Article 18: Always allow a buffer zone at urinals and on couches.

Article 19: Never share a bed with a guy, unless there's no way around it.

Article 20: Bros Before Hoes. I know, I already used it. I can't stress it enough, though. It is absolutely infuriating how many of my guy friends have become insufferable * since they've gone out with someone.

Article 21: In a 6 person hot tub, there should be a maximum of 3 guys.

Article 22: A Bro should not sing and dance at the same time

Article 23: A Bro should not watch Oxygen, Womens Entertainment, or Lifetime.

Article 24: Men do not lie about their age.

Article 25: A Bro should not swing his arms when he is walking.

Article 26: A Bro will, in a timely manner, alert his Bro to the existence of a girl fight. A Bro must never hesitate before communicating the possibility of fisticuffs between two humans of the female variety [[HENCEFORTH "GIRL FIGHT"]], in an effort to make possible and probable that another Bro or Bros can partake in observation. A timely manner is open to interpretation based on the initial Bro's viewing and processing of the potential feminine conflagration. Said Bro must use any and all methods of media distribution at his disposal, including but not limited to: telecommunications, elbow nudging, fiber optics, the Broney express, and postcards. If an informed Bro is unable to witness the girl fight firsthand, the spotter Bro is responsible for documenting and relating details of the girl fight via pictures, video*, or barring any other reasonable method, interpretive dance and/or pantomime. Tabling Bro obligations to witness a XX chromosomal scuffle is not only condoned, but encouraged, and in some cases, required. Please refer to the Brobligation rubric as elucidated in AMENDMENT 83: "The REALLY hot sister and other hump trumps."

Article 27: A Bro should never carry a woman's handbag

Article 28: A Bro should never go tanning.

Article 29: No Bro should dye their hair

Article 30: A Bro should never refer to an athlete as a "stud"

Article 31: A Bro should never cry during a movie. In the event that he does, he must under no circumstance admit it to anyone other than a girl he is trying to score with.

Article 32: A Bro should not "pop" his collar.

Article 33: A Bro should not speak more than two languages.

Unless

He has lived for a minimum of 9 months in a country whose main language is one of those languages

He uses the extra language as a means of picking up women who only speak that language

His job requires him to know more than 2 languages

It is a means of only to impress women and nothing else

If in the occurrence that a Bro knows more than 2 languages, it is the given right for said bro to invite other bros to parties where this language is spoken, having said bro escort and be the official bilingual wingman.

Article 34: Bro’s cannot make eye contact during a “devil’s threeway” (two dudes.)

Article 35: A Bro should never say "it's to die for"

Article 36: A Bro should not wear a scarf without a jacket or coat.

Article 37: A Bro should not wear an ascot.

Article 38: A Bro should never use the following words: fantabulous, ginormous & fierce.

Article 39: A Bro should never wrap a towel around his head after leaving the shower.

Article 40: A Bro should never "sip" and alcoholic drink through a straw

Article 41: A Bro should never wear a blouse.

Article 42: If you are not living with a girl you should not have tampons in your bathroom.

Article 43: A Bro should not wear crocs.

Article 44: A Bro should not wear a leotard or do pirouettes.

Article 45: A Bro should never wear a sweater over his shoulders

Article 46: A Bro should not eat grapes from the vines

Article 47: A Bro should never rollerblade

Article 48: The word cute should not be used other then describing a chick they want to bone

Article 49: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.

Article 50: A Bro should never, ever wear capri pants.

Article 51: A Bro should not wear flip flops with a suit.

Article 52: No Bro should wear a speedo to the beach

Article 53: A Bro will, whenever possible, provide his Bro with protection. In the event that one Bro finds himself lacking the necessary prophylactic accoutrements needed to complete the act of coitus in a safe and effective manner, he is in the right to expect his Bro will use all measures within or without his means to provide the aforementioned prophylactic in a timely yet discreet fashion. When a Bro signals his need using previously agreed upon code words and/or body signage, it is understood that his Bro will discontinue all present activity [excepting the act of coitus itself [whereby which Bro vows to finish as quickly as possible]], in order to respond with a panoply of options at Bro-in-need's location. A Bro must patronize the most rapid method of transportation available while endeavoring to assist his Bro. In no instance may a two-wheeled bicycle be used* as this is not only humiliating, but also potentially harmful to the perineum - a zone of tissue perilously adjacent to noted sexual organs. In the event that a state, federal, international, or galactic law is breached due to recklessness, unacceptable levels of speed, and/or the hijacking of an airborne vehicle(s), it is understood that the primary Bro will shoulder any associated legal fees or fines. However, any costs or damages incurred from the use of public transportation are the responsibility of the secondary Bro alone as this is an instance of Quid Pro Bro. Upon arrival at the primary Bro's location, the secondary Bro must exercise complete discretion so as not to disrupt the primary Bro's "flow." It is understood that a Bro will engage in all training necessary to achieve this objective, including, at minimum, a five month Ninjitsu curriculum mastering the twin arts of stealth and secrecy.** Once the primary Bro has been supplied with the necessary prophylactic(s), the Brocedure is deemed complete upon exchange of the traditional, though in this case silent, "high five." Tacit in this unspoken ritual is the understanding that said episode will never be spoken of again, unless it's part of an awesome story. * Unless a bicycle is the ONLY form of transportation, as in some Cambodian villages **

Article 54: No Bro should make a kissing face in a photo.

Article 55: No Bro should wear girl jeans

Article 56: A Bro shall never reveal the score of a sporting event to another Bro until that Bro has thrice confirmed it's cool.

Article 57: A Bro may not speculate on the expected Bro/chick ratio of a party or venue without first disclosing the present-time observed ratio.

Article 58: If a Bro, for whatever reason, becomes aware of another Bro's girlfriend's birthday and/or anniversary date, he shall endeavor to make that information available to his Bro, regardless of whether he thinks his Bro already knows.

Article 59: One Bro makes a solo attack. A Second Bro provides a crutch, A third Bro rounds out the pack, But a fourth Bro is one too much

Article 60: Should a Bro be near to closing with a girl, his Bro shall do anything within his means to ensure the desired outcome, up to and including the seduction of said girls wildly unattractive friend/cousin/sister.

Article 61: A Bro shall honor thy father and mother

Article 62: In the event that two Bros acquire the same target, the Bro with the longer dry spell has dibs. Should the dry spells be of equal length, a game of discreet roshambo(rock paper scissors) shall determine the outcome

Article 63: In a scenario in which two or more Bros are engaged in entertainment of the adult variety, one Bro is forbidden from intentionally or unintentionally touching another Bro in any capacity, including but not limited to; the high-five, the fist bump, or the congratulatory gluteus pat. Winking is also a no no.

Article 64: A Bro must provide his Bro to a ticket to an event if said event involves the second Bro's favorite sports team in a playoff scenario

Article 65: A Bro must always reciprocate a round of drinks among Bros with the proviso that no existing wager supercedes this purchase and exchange of spirits.

Article 66: If a Bro suffers pain due to the permanent dissolution of a relationship with a lady friend, a Bro shall offer nothing more than "that sucks, Bro" and copious quantities of beer. A Bro will also refrain from pejorative commentary - deserved or not - regarding said lady friend for a period of three months, when the requisite BACKSLIDE WINDOW has closed.

Article 67: Should a Bro pick up a guitar at a party and commence playing , another Bro shall point out that he is a tool

Article 68: If a Bro be on a hot streak, another Bro will do everything possible to ensure its longevity, even if that includes jeopardizing his own records, the missing of work; or temporary immigration to a foreign country.

Article 69: No Bro should ever get a pedicure

Article 70: A Bro should never highlight his hair.

Article 71: A Bro should not talk to another Bro in the bathroom.

Article 72: A Bro should never sing show tunes.

Article 73: A Bro should never eat out of another Bro's hands.

Article 74: Two men should not share an umbrella.

Article 75: A Bro should not have "an outfit".

Article 76: A Bro should not wear a white belt.

Article 77: A Bro never cries. Unless it’s regarding Article 31.

Article 78: A Bro should never wiggle out of a pair of pants.

Article 79: No Bro can hit another Bro in the groin unless victim Bro has broken the Bro code.

Article 80: A Bro may never seek entertainment from professional women's sports. Unless said entertainment be comedic or physical e.g. gymnastics, beach volleyball

Article 81: What happens between bros stay between bros… also known as the what happens in vegas stays in vegas rule and the what happens on tour stays on tour rule

Article 82: If a Bro catches another Bro in plagiarism - albeit awesome plagiarism - a Bro shall be required to ask the Bro to cite his source.

Article 83: A Bro can not cock-block another Bro UNLESS sleeping with said girl would break a Bro code.

Article 84: Love thy neigh-Bro

Article 85: No bros night out can start with "the wife put out some cheese" and end "with everyone at home by eleven, booya."

Article 86: If said bros is lost to a relationship, they must void all rights to use the bros code for any purpose and are rightfully subjected to any and all humorous ploys made to said post-bros by previous bros.

Article 87: A Bro shall at all times say 'Yes'.

Article 88: Any bros who notice a fellow bros passed out at any social gathering due to drug or alcohol consumption, is obligated to take humiliating photo's and/or videos of the passed out bros; unless said bros has consumed a whiskey, rum, scotch or other hard liquor to an excess of a ratio of: once ounce:3kg of body mass (7lbs imperial)

Article 89: "A Bro may never pursue the mom of another Bro." Be it here resolved that at no point is it permissible for one Bro to engage in carnal delicacies with another Bro's mother. It is, however, allowed and encouraged for one Bro to graphically suggest to a Bro the athletic feats, animalia, and/or machinery utilized during a fictional encounter with his mom. [[NOTA BENE: It is customary for a Bro to avoid such Brocularity if his Bro's mom is a 9 or better, for fear of Oedipal inducement.]] Should a Bro discover his Bro is in fact adopted, he is free to pursue his Bro's adoptive mother, but only after first corroborating non-biological parentage through notarized birth certificates, hospital records, or comparative dioxyribonucleic acid gel electrophoresis, whichever is easiest. Since the adopted Bro cannot legitimately claim to have shared a canal with his Bro, ARTICLE 89 expressly prohibits the adopted Bro from invoking the Sloppy Second clause in any related filings with the International Court of Bros. Though the mom of a Bro is always off limits, the step-mom of a Bro is allowed if she initiates it and/or is wearing at least one article of leopard print clothing. If she looks good in it.

Article 90: No bros should know any fellow bros weight for any reason. Previous bros code stipulation should only have an assumed weight. If the assumed weight is on the turning point of humility and peace, humility over-rides

#bro code #copypasta #meme

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faithofzion · 8 months

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Secrets of Enlightenment: Unconditional Love

Lord show me your mercy, They can't afford to curse me, They know they can't reimburse me, I know they want to six feet hearse me, The ones you love is what hurts me, Every blessing has a lesson, This is my confession, Blessed with protection.

From my temple, They come for the example, I don't want your sample. The verses is my ammo, I don't care about your jag or lambo, 1st draft pick no gamble, Idle words they love to ramble, Holy spirit got them scrambled, The world is in shambles.

This is the renaissance I know I been a star, I grew up in my heart, I blew up in the dark, Now I be glowing, Now I be knowing, Old testament, New testament, Got the gold and the juice feel excellent, It's true I'm heaven sent, Can't say I haven't sinned.

Rich or poor, Can't switch in my core, They can't glitch the score, They wish for more, I'm in my prayer bag, My favor is not washed in a rag, Stay meek not the one to brag, Don't care if you in a jag, It's rare to see the chosen one lag.

They keep a glizzy, I keep it busy, They tryna blitz me, Now they miss me, Now she want to kiss me, Now they want to diss me, They just pretenders. My trust is surrendered. Daily boost, Can't fail me when I got that juice, Hear the rooster that's the news.

We don't run with wolves, The sun ain't a myth in the wool, The money and gun rule, Honey on the tongue so I won't be fooled, Now it ain't funny that we won in the school, Not a dummy on the run when I see the tool, Now they hungry for fun in the cool.

I'm truly awakened. They unruly faking, I haven't been forsaken, Peep the game more's taken, It's deep cause in the core they snaking, Clean hands, I seen their plans, Enemies of the same fold, Energy of the same gold, Strangers acting weird, There's danger in their fear, I'm like a lion, My light ain't dying, That's why in the night they crying, Thought I was finished, I defeated their gimmicks.

I done came from nothing. They all the same just fronting, Touchdown to Zion they just punting, I don't need no plug, Trying to bury my seed with the slug, I still rise, I realized, I've been advised, This ain't televised, Stars like butterflies.

Erased the doubt, I don't chase clout, I know what's it about, Heal from the pain, You can't steal from the rain, Invest in yourself, I'm blessed by more health, All I hear is crickets, I don't fear no tickets, Peep the scope, It's deep to have hope.

I recognize. They reckon with the lies, I'm just stepping in my light, What I'm repping is my life, Whether they take it, I ain't gon fake it, I don't play with satan, All glory to God, I know my story is hard, Mystery in the years, Victory in the tears.

My vision like a eagle when I got rid of my ego, Flyer than the pigeon, Higher than what they wishing, Now they moving weird, Cause I'm proving no fear, My heart is rooted, The dark is looted, No owl or baphomet, They acting foul cause I ain't with their bet.

Get your mind right cause there's going to be more blind nights, Continue in the faith, My revenue is saved, Unfazed by the enemy, Sun blazed by the energy, Casting my burden, Fasting cause I heard them, Won't bow down to the beast, Now in the crown of peace.

There's no mistake for being fake, They hungry for the cake, The Kingdom or the lake, They hung our Saviour on a stake, The leaves need the rake, The dough being baked. Stay awake, Pray not to be forsaked My heart they can't break, The earth will quake.

Couple of title fights, Doubled my vital nights Lightweight and heavyweight, Bright Fate and plenty hate, But I said love, They dread my dove, Meaning they fear the peace, They scheming every year in the beast, Thoughts calculated, Heart immaculated.

Lion in my blood, Iron in the mud, They woke up a sleeping giant, The beast spoke like a scheming tyrant, Got the key to the matrix, You not free in the spaceship, N.W.O. enslavement, In God's hands I'm engraved in, Won't bow down, They know who I am now.

The more light you acquire, The more night will reject the choir, Salvation is required, No celebration in the fire, Elevating while God is educating, They fear the power of love, Any year is the hour of the dove. Everything biblical, Heavenly miracle.

This ain't a recital, I been a disciple, Keep it frank with my rival, They heart sank in the arrival, Truly awakened in the revival, Don't get forsaken in an idol, We fighting for a title, The light is vital, Keep your tongue bridled, No time to be idle.

When I was lost I paid the cost, Now I'm found they want me underground, Only a few seen the light in me, The rest seen the night in me, Must overcome the world, Can't trust anyone in the world, That's not cool, You ain't gon play me like a fool.

Feel like I came out the Bible, Heal from the game with a title, They want the fame to be a idol, Authentic with the glow, All credit with the flow, Don't grow weary, Make sure you grow the berry, Seeing a new view, They fleeing cause of the new you.

The New Jerusalem, I peep they been using them, Judgement is being dealt with, Hades is going to melt with, The fire of truth, The wire is proof, Laces tied to the matrix, Praises cried for the ancient, We must repent, Can't trust what the game invent.

Fake energy, Break the enemy, Keep it real. Deep in the field, See right through the gimmicks, Free light brings true critics, My flow is biblical, My glow is a miracle, Could have been six feet under, Hollywood trying to delete your thunder, Why even wonder.

Liars and devils, Buyers on all levels, The light is terrifying, The night is clarifying, Now they shook. I ain't down with the crook, Fruits of my labor, Roots of my favor. Peep the scheme, Keep your dream, Obadiah, The game over in the fire.

I keep it clean, It's deep behind the scene, Fasting is the medicine, Casting out the dead of sin, Focused on my calling, Locusts when they're falling, Evolve into the lion, They love the dying, Rebirth of the soul, Leave earth with my soul.

They throwing bots at me, They throwing shots at me, Ain't taking no pressure, They faking like they fresher, Subliminal threats, Criminal debts, Stay on guard. Slay the fraud, See through the outer, Free you no doubter, The news getting louder.

Oil of gladness, They toil in the madness, Staying in the light, Praying in the night, Workers of chaos, Lurkers of the playoffs, The power is alive, In the hour who will survive, Won't bargain my soul, They try to darken my glow, Hearken to the flow.

Blessed credential thankful for the hate, Presidential angels for candidate, The glow up is real, They know my love is healed, Cup of suffering, What's up with the government, World War 3, The pearls for the key, Can't blur what's for free.

Not looking for clout, Not booking for doubt, Destined for the Kingdom, My blessing is to bring them, We stand alone giving an account, Free grants got them cloned for every discount, No conspiracy theory, They in misery cause they fear me.

They see the phenom in me, The feeling is free. The healing is key, On a different frequency, They fear cause we can see, Clarity is a rarity, New season, True reason, 4th and inches on the goal line, It's deep in the trenches and my faith I ain't sold mine.

Dual threat like a quarterback who throw with the right and left, Fuel jet of a motor pack they ride in the night for the theft, Stiff arming the opponent, The gift is alarming the component, Strength on max level, We don't thank the tax of the devil.

I know what the game do, I don't want to blame you, Growing with God, Glowing with the heart, Testimony of love, Ain't no flexing on the dove, I'm in a different dimension, I don't fear their invention, Talking about the cabal, They didn't think I could ball.

They riding in a volkswagen, They hiding cause the volts is lacking, The world under a spell, The pearl thunders in hell, We need to repent, We plead our pain will relent, The fire destroying the wire, We shall rise, If you fall God will hear the cries.

See the spell the enemy prayed against me, I'm free to tell the energy they played against me, No longer blinded, Know that I'm stronger minded, Healing day by day, They stealing day by day, Vengeance is for the Lord, There's an entrance for the war.

The anointing is strong, The appointment is wrong, I'm on God's times even in hard times, Life is prosperity and adversity, The light is why they stare at me cause they couldn't add the curse to me, They tripped me up but couldn't grip me up, Lord's cup.

Love can't be substituted, The dove can't be executed, Spiritual warfare to break the fear, Biblical is more care to wear the gear, The heavens suffer violence, Keep it clean cause only truth can offer silence, This is like the finals without the idols.

The pressure ain't pleasure, Got to measure the extra, Old shadows tryna creep in, Soul battles I can't sleep in, Truly awakened, Only a few gon make it, Stay in salvation, Pray for revelation, Now they on the run, Slay the devils in the sun.

This what heaven do, They tryna tax my revenue, Fax the avenue, See the mirage, You won't see me in a lodge, Love is not a curse, She had a dove in her purse, Free the stars, The key is in your heart, Don't trust a soul, The earth's crust is gold.

Can't play with scoffers, I don't pray for offers, Content with what I have, The Son was sent so we could have, The inheritance of the Kingdom, The impermanence of what bring them, Healing every moment, They stealing but my soul they can't own it.

Outcast of the game, I outlast the blame, Don't doubt the fast in the flame, I don't want the cash or fame, I didn't say money, I pray for the honey, They know who you are but pretending, The glow of the heart is what they contending.

Renegade catching pythons in the everglade, Passion of a lion is forever made, My action is always prayed, Ain't no fashion the game is slayed, Can't match the name for the grade, God's love doesn't fade, Be in peace and don't be afraid.

They want to ride in a maybach, They want to hide cause of the payback, Stranger to my kin, There's danger in the sin, Society hating on love, My priority is the ancient dove, Play all you want, I'mma pray all I want, Without ceasing, No doubt this season.

New plane of thought. New train of thought, Devil playing with souls, Every level I'm praying for the rose, From the concrete, Can't run from the sun's heat, It's like clockwork, Life is the Rock's church, Not a movie trailer, Had to prove I wasn't a failure.

One of the keys is faith, The sun and breeze destroys the grave, Resurrect from six feet to His feet, Giving an account, Forgiven on His account, Endure until the end to be saved, The sin don't cure those who play like they brave, Jesus is the only wave.

I don't care about a volvo, Is prayer in your convo, You ashamed of the name Jesus, This is not a game you can't blame Jesus, A lot fake handshakes, Can't fake when the land shakes, There won't be time for milkshakes, Just know the earth will quake.

I don't need your approval, I plead for your removal, They lying on my name, They dying for the fame, Heaven is waiting for you that's why they hating on you, Who's to blame in the flame, Repent while you can, The government is in God's hands, God's plans.

No days off, The glow pays off, Now we're in the playoffs, I don't play golf, Feel the fire I ain't soft, Heal from that rip off, How you real when you scoff, Butterfly to a moth, Little days had that broth, Work hard not sloth, Clean hands in that cloth.

We must have faith, We don't trust in the grave, Knowing we gon rise, The glowing is for the wise, This matrix is the gates closed, The ancient seen the hate froze, Be patient your fate is the rose, No flexing, This is the testing, Only God I'm addressing.

Jacob's trouble. Wake up double, How have you been preparing, Cause there won't be any sparing, Time like no other, Crime like no other, Make sure you are tapped into the holy spirit, Build up your faith don't fear it, Endure cause the sin ain't pure.

You can keep the fakeness, I'll keep the greatness, Elevating cause heaven's waiting. Activated the genius of the cosmos, They pray to venus with their eyes closed, I receive downloads from the holy spirit, They deceive the sound code cause we see it.

True believers, New believers, Repentance is a must, See the plans of the dust, They absent minded, The accent is blinded, Know who you serve, Glow with the earth, Don't play dumb. Don't pray numb, Keep it certain, Peep the serpent, The world is hurting.

The meek shall inherit the earth, What you seek is the merit you serve, Technology is the new religion, You ain't got to acknowledge me in the kitchen, Cooking up strategy, Looking for the allergy, Immune to the moon No cartoon, Glow with the heart's tune.

Workout your own salvation, Earth is now about revelation, What were they thinking, The fear ain't linking, My Enemies at peace with me, I won't die with demons trying to put the beast in me, Love is all I have to give, Love is all I have to live.

Days of prosperity and adversity consider, The ways they stare at me I know they tried to curse me with the sun's emitter, Be wise with the transmitter, All gold ain't glitter, I'm not a quitter, The sweet water ain't bitter, The miracles won't wither.

Testament of dreams, Extra net for their schemes, Be wise in your talking, All eyes on your walking, They seeing the power. No one knows the hour, The sun glow on the flower, The rain is love's shower, Living in vain is sour, Forgiving the pain can't devour.

They in that subaru, No cap who are you, Got to face the music, My grace I won't lose it, All in God's plans, Don't fall for their plans, Walking through the sands, The truth still stands, Love's miracles in my hands, The doves is spiritual in the lands.

False prophets, False markets, Rebuke the devils, The Book of Luke on this level, Let your shine, I met the blind. Vision of love, Make a decision of love, Fly with the precision of the dove, There's rules for the heart, There's jewels in the stars.

These devils play and prey on energy, On this level I'm seeing who the real enemy, Don't think it's a game, You don't want to see the flame, They try to trigger you, But they can't figure you, Walk in salvation. Talk in revelation, Unlock the elevation.

Real pulse, I know they false, We're still here, World been sealed with fear, What's going to happen this year, They capping for the gear, Only the righteous got the robe of love, They rolling dices in the home of doves, It's blatant, Society worships satan.

Leave me alone, They thieve for a loan, They grieve cause of the stone, You reap what you sown, My soul they can't own, What they do is known, Sin leads to a lot of trouble, When you win your heart breeds double, Your lie is not hidden, Don't lie not kidding.

Open arms, Scoping the psalms, Humble your needs, Don't fumble your seeds, Even sins you don't know, They grieving when you win cause you glow, Fake smiles, Can't fake the miles, Endure until the end, For sure we need to repent, Heal until you are real.

I don't think the world of you, I won't cast my pearls on you, The power of sin, Is the hour you can't win, Do what's right, True to the light. New to the night, But I didn't crossover, I'm hidden in the cross forever, No time to play, Not a crime to pray.

Stop cursing yourself. The crops is nursing your health, Corn and potatoes, Torn by tornadoes, They sworn to the devil but it's not okay though, Really ain't, Really a saint, Not saying I'm perfect. Just know I'm putting in the effort.

Live in salvation, Live in revelation, Live in elevation, Love in celebration, I'm a dove with no federation, The world trying to build a better nation, My word is for the generation, Pearls and diamonds for veneration, It's time for renovation.

My pastor ain't calling, The world is forever falling, They flexing and balling, Stay humble as a dove, Pray I don't fumble this love, See them waxing cold, See them faxing gold, See them taxing souls, Society got masonic goals, A library of new roles.

Don't lean on your own understanding, Got the gene of thunder landing, Earth's running out of space, So now the world is trying to go to outer space, Listen before you move, They blitzing the truth, I don't promote violence, You can't remote silence.

Battle scars, Shadow stars, Only salvation define me, Only revelation remind me, Could have been destroyed, Now I'm filled with joy, Rose from the ashes, Close all the latches, The glow in the pain of a dove, Know I must remain in love.

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thelibraryiscool · 4 years

Text

Temauke 3: Nature

Ok. Puisque je parle pas mal français mais ma grammaire est quelque chose d’un cauchemar, je vais essayer à prendre part dans ces semaines à thèmes de langblr. Mais pas seulement en français? Peut-être en latin ou en norvégien aussi. Donc.. voilà:

La semaine dernière était un temps d’orages violents et soudains: un moment tout restait calme, et l’autre la pluie tombait – une averse, en fait – et la rue devenait une rivière miniature, où les voitures passaient, lentement et presque majestueusement, en formant des petites vagues. Ma ville (au centre) consiste pour la plupart de nuances de pastels, comme une Venise désaturée, et ça me plait bien en général – elle retient l’air de XIX-e siècle, et on peut imaginer des calèches et des marchés animés – mais quand il pleut, tous les bâtiments deviennent gris et prennent un aspect vraiment triste. Même les arbres dans les boulevards perdent un peu de leur verdure, et les pigeons laids, avec leur plumes d’un bleu sale, vagabondent comme des rois légitimes de ce domaine malheureux. Bien que juillet est tout juste arrivé, j’ai quelquefois une peur irrationnelle que les feuilles tournent jaunes, se flétrissent et tombent tout à la fois. Certes, je suis un peu dramatique, mais c’est pas grave: enfin il y a une tradition estimée de dramatiser la nature.

Jeg snakker norsk mye verre enn fransk. Slik teksten min kan ikke være veldig komplisert. Jeg elsker leser og studerer utenfor, i sola, med en bris (selv om jeg bli solbrent lett). Det er så rolig, og du kan pause og sette i varme. Utenfor jeg er ikke så redd for insekter, til og med vepser eller biller, fordi det er deres domenen. Når jeg gjorde min bachelor, det var en plen med mange marmorbenker hvor vi kunne studerer. Der var også kuer på en bakke nærheten, og en av professorene mine ville bringe sauer til universitetsområden. Det var alltid mange ekorner, hvem plukket opp kongler og epler et spilt i trær. Om høsten, bladverken var vakker, og du kunne skaffe cider smultringer eller gå å plukke epler. Om vinteren, det var ikke for kaldt, men det var noen ganger snøstormer, så sent som i April.

solbrent - sunburnt veps, m. - wasp bille, m. - beetle plen, m. - lawn universitetsområde, n. - campus (not quite nature, but) ekorn, m./n. - squirrel kongle, m./f. - [pine] cone bladverk, n. - foliage

#temauke #langblrweeklytheme #langblr #next time i might just do norwegian and latin #my french is a different kind of task #it's more a case of needing to like consistently write stuff in french #is what i realized while doing this #idk #but anyway of course i welcome any and all corrections #i've never really tried writing in norwegian...#side note i WILL go back to my regular french word lists #i was just dying in diss and then having a break #hjertespraak #fluencylevelfrench

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bluetintcore · 2 years

Note

fem reader x maddy Pérez where Maddy sees y/n have a mental break down/ pánick attack and maddy tries to comfort her but y/n gets suspicious in the beginning cause maddy is seen as the mean girl but then y/n realizes how sweet maddy actually is

• sweetheart.

request?; yes / no

summary; in which maddy perez isn’t the person that you thought she was.

warnings; mental breakdown/panic attack, strong language, mentions of weed

pairings; maddy perez x fem!reader

note; i hope this was okay!! also i hope the beginning of this wasn’t too dramatic it was late and the only thing i could think of LMFAO (also i didn’t know if you wanted this platonically so i kinda made it go both ways so if you all wish to imagine this romantically that’s completely okay, and vice versa)

you quietly tapped your pencil on your desk as you bounced your knee. your math teacher was going on about some problem that you didn’t care enough to listen too, so you tuned out her voice. you sighed as you put your head down against your desk. you felt yourself begin to drift off, and before you knew it you were asleep.

you awoke to be gently shaken awake by a girl who sat next to you, “[name].. the teacher called on you.”

your eyes widened and you quickly lifted up your head to meet eyes with the entire class staring at you as well as the teacher. your face was extremely red as you frantically flipped the pages of your textbook to try to get on track. “i’m sorry miss, can you please repeat the question?”

“i just asked you to say the answer for number two on page three seventy four.” your teacher said, her hand making it’s way to her hip and her eyebrow raising.

once you made it to the page you eyed the problem. you had no idea what the answer was. it was times like this where you wished you payed attention in your classes. “i- uhm.. i’m sorry i can’t-”

“miss [last name], why is this such a big deal to you? if you would’ve been awake you would have had no problem with this.” your teacher said, crossing her arms while glaring at you. you felt the tears welling in your eyes, and the last thing you wanted to do was cry in class, in front of everyone.

“now this, class, is something not to do in front of your classmates. crying over something that you brought onto yourself.” your teacher dissed, and you felt your heart beat quicken.

you suddenly stood up from your seat and speed walked out of the classroom and all the way to the bathroom. you threw open the door and set your hands around the sink as you let the tears fall. you tried to slow your breathing and calm yourself but you were so embarrassed and overwhelmed by the moment that you couldn’t even focus.

you were so upset that you didn’t even notice the door to the bathroom open, and a pair of heels click lightly on the ground. maddy perez’s eyes met your sobbing figure, surprised as to how you hadn’t noticed her at first. the first thing she thought whenever she laid eyes on you was ‘pityful’. she didn’t even wanna imagine the reason you were practically dying over the bathroom sink, but it certainly didn’t look healthy.

maddy gently reached her hand out to touch your shoulder and you flinched immediately with her contact. you turned your head and your face furrowed and you snapped, “what’re you doing?!”

maddy flinched back at your tone and her eyebrow raised. “shit girl, are you okay? you look like you’re having a panic attack.”

you rolled your eyes and went to face the mirror again, trying to wipe the remaining tears from your stained and red face. “look i really can’t afford to be fucking harassed right now i just need-”

“harassed? who said anything about being harassed? i was worried for you, that’s all.” she said, and you honestly didn’t expect her to be that patient with you. the minute you flinched away from her you figured she’d call you a cunt and storm out.

“i’m okay, really. it’s literally normal to cry sometimes,” you said as you tried to grab the your things from the top of the sink. as you went to leave the ladies room you gasped as you were pulled into a warm embrace. maddy perez was hugging you. she smelled of vanilla and ariana grande perfume, almost exactly what you’d expect from her and it was oddly comforting to you in your moment of weakness.

she began rubbing your back as you felt yourself start to sob again, this time in her shoulder. “i don’t know what happened to make you this upset but, i’m really sorry. i know you probably hear that all the time, but i feel like you’re the last person to deserve something like that.”

maddy perez stood there holding you for what felt like a very long time as she let you let out all the stresses of your productive day, and once you were finally done and comfortable she let you pull away.

“i highly doubt that continuing the day is what you need, so how about you and i ditch and go get high.” maddy said, not being able to control her excitement of the new best friend that she made in the ladies bathroom.

you laughed as you continued to wipe your eyes, “yeah i’d really like that.”

maddy couldn’t remember the last time she felt genuine happiness radiating from a person and she was glad she finally had someone to fill the hole that cassie howard had left in her heart.

#maddy perez #maddy perez imagine #maddy perez x reader #alexa demie #alexa demie x reader #alexa demie imagine #euphoria #euphoria imagine #euphoria x reader

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xnoel · 4 years

Text

i’m watching eric nam’s kpop daebak podcast episode with jacob, kevin and eric and i’m not even halfway through and i’m crying AND have a headache from laughing

#i need a break to eat #so far it's just been 20 minutes of eric and kevin dissing each other and kevin being hilarious #and jacob being a quiet angel as usual #kevin is really the most relatable idol i swear. all of his vine/twitter/pop culture references have me dying

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jiminrings · 3 years

Note

I REQUEST A SOFT BADBOY DRABBLE WITH SHY READER AND HES TEASING HER BUT SOMEONE ELSE JOIMS IN AND THEYRE DOING IT TO BE MEAN BUT HES LIKE STFU BEFORE I PUMCH UR FACE ONLY IM ALLOWED TO BULLY SHY READER GRR 😡😡😡😡 and soft readers like 0.o but *squeals incoherently* 😭😭😭😭

last name, jeon.

drabble week: day two

drabble week masterlist

pairing: badboy!jungkook x shy!reader

wordcount: 3k

glimpse: "can't you tell that i really don't want you to be here?"

notes: a tiny change on the plot!! also: frat boy!jimin from day four makes an appearance :D

feedback + support mean the world to me!!

“do you wanna form-“

... yes

you DO have an alliance with jungkook

it's a very fair trade honestly

he pretends to be your boyfriend!! there's no specific boundaries to it, but he springs into action as soon as you're put into an inconvenience

in exchange, you whore him out to your friends!!! :D

no but literally that's how he called it

the whole reason this came to be in the first place is because you hATE confrontation with a burning passion

especially when it comes to those "i have a crush on you" moments that people spring on you all of a sudden

you don't like them back!!! that's the truth!!! but the problem is that you aLWAYS feel guilty letting people down

you obviously don't have the obligation to like someone back just because you sit next to them in class :// IT'S JUST IN YOUR NATURE TO FEEL THAT WAY

you wouldn't get into a relationship with said confessor to ease your guilt, clearly

do you plan on denying their advances? yes

but hOW????

you always take the passive-aggressive approach

you get jungkook to carry your bag and hold your hand, walk in front of said person and pretend not to see them, jungkook makes sURE to put some snide eye contact in there aaaaand the whole ordeal is finished :D

you've managed to let someone down slowly without having to speak to them in-person!!!

jungkook comes more handy than that too

you take him when you want to eat out because you're too anxious to eat alone

you take him when you want to go somewhere in which lining up is essential and you're also too anxious to stand by yourself

you take him when you want to go shopping when there's a sale but you're almost always intimidated by the barrage of people and salespeople so he asks and answers the questions for you

jungkook, in hindsight, is the perfect fake boyfriend for you <3

ALSO jungkook wants something from you

"whore me out to the girls from the families your family's friends with, and it's a deal :D"

that alliance and exchange is going pretty well so far

you mAY be on the more-reserved side but that doesn't mean you're self-aware!!!

you know that your parents are loaded and your shy nature could be somehow chalked to that since you didn't really have anyone that wasn't as non-superficial as you'd like, since they were the overprotective helicopter two-rotor seven-blade parents :(((

jungkook, however, is the only constant you have in your formula

you've known him since childhood and have been friends ever since

his mom's your mom's personal assistant, and one day when mrs. jeon couldn't find a babysitter for jungkook, your mom didn't hesitate to let four-year old jungkook come with her to work

jungkook's your fIRST actual friend that hates gold spoons with you because of how tacky they look :-) he's your emotional support person basically

your emotional support person who was sO close to running late from picking you up during his free day >:( you were about to break into a sprint if he arrived a second later, because you managed to spot a jock coming to you from the corner of your eye awhile ago

You Do Not Like Him <3

"and i even changed into a short-sleeved shirt to ward off your suitors. how romantic of me, don't you think?"

now that he mentions it, it's only now when you can drink him in in full-display

... wow

his right arm's the only one with his tattoos while his left's completely blank, but something about the balance just makes you !!!!!!!! even more

his arm's not completely covered but it was coming to be, something about the blank spaces of skin that are yet to be inked being a nice touch

"very romantic, kook."

now tHAT'S the answer he wanted to hear

he forcibly on your helmet for you to showcase, your grunts of annoyance being drowned out by whistling

(he's even looking left and right and making eye contact with anyone who has their eyes landing on you!!!!)

your cheeks smushed is a look he'll never be tired being in awe of, but he'll never tell you that, of course

"do you ever wonder if your parents would kill me if i misplace even a single hair on you?" jungkook thinks out loud and you don't even flinch with how sudden his thoughts could be, sitting on his seat first so it'd already be balanced when you do, "you sure you’re okay riding with me?? on a motorcycle????"

he usually uses yOUR family's vehicles (they let him and insisted he just takes one at this point) but when you called him, he was en route to kim kradle (it's a one-stop vehicle shop apparently) to get new rims for his motorcycle, bUT NOT ANYMORE HE GUESSES????

you come first compared to the booking he's waited on for three weeks

"i have insurance, i think."

no that's the wrong answer

why did you even bother.,,.,

jungkook flicks your nose because your forehead's protected by the helmet, his face contorted in half faux frustration

"you were supposed to be mad at me for asking that — not logical!! don't even joke about that."

"... my life insurance? like, in the instance that i-"

oW THAT HURT

he flicked even harder this time!!!

you roll your eyes at him and it doesn't go unnoticed, a hand outstretching instead of his fingers flexing

“wallet, please.”

????

jungkook's surprised that you even look confused, this time rolling his eyes at you

“you rolled your eyes at me. you need to bribe me so i won’t rat you out.”

right

he has a never-ending knack for the you're rich jokes

you also know that he likes the cold and would turn the fan on even if it's too hot for a blanket, just because he wants to feel cocooned

you also know that he picks from the fourth row of drinks from the front because it's always been a habit

("the germs cling on to the first row!!!")

you also know that maybe, just maybe, you can't stand it tonight when he's putting himself out there instead of being your faux boyfriend

you keep on zoning out and hoseok, perhaps the only tolerable fellow rich kid you can tolerate within your circle, finally connects the dots in his head and snickers

he's been talking about finding the vintage sneakers he's always wanted on depop and how he almost got scammed for like tWENTY minutes already

in reality, all your nods and scowls aren't towards his story

it's to jungkook and... who's that? jihye whose dad is so colossally shitty, that this one rapper wrote a diss song for him? oh yeah, that jihye

"you like him. like actually 'lose your virginity to him' love him."

WHAT???

there's no way

"how did you-"

"you blush like one."

alright that answer was too quick

hoseok should've ATLEAST tried to wait for a few seconds before answering

"a-and the love part?"

"babe, jungkook may not be the richest one here and that should say a lot," you peer up at him nervously and he actually chuckles, peering to everyone at this function, "dude's humble — he could also just be dense to not see you love him."

okay very true

hobi's making a dig rn at how jungkook coinicidentaally happens to be blonde and maybe this is your cue to leave

hobi does not realize that his hair is aLSO dyed blonde while talking shit about jungkook and his hari

okay this is it

once again, you are NOT listening to hoseok and he's figured out what you're doing by now

you're psyching yourself up with a couple of shots and your heels are digging on the carpeted ballroom

MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY TO BE MORE OUTGOING!!

"pretend to wobble. it doesn't help that nothing can sink you."

oh okay makes sense

if you're gonna try and charm jungkook while trying to play it off as just being tipsy playfulness, atleast make it believable

hoseok snickers because this is just A+ content with the things that you choose to do in your way

shy girl with high alcohol tolerance mannn coming of age film writers would LOVE you ://

you're about to cross the distance between you and jungkook, but something knocks you on your shoulder with a gentle force that seemed intentional

is that-

hold on a second

"what a coincidence :O"

jimin?

jimin???

as in, wholesome yet slightly fuckboy-ish frat guy jimin???

he looks dashing and composed, meeting your eyes perfectly and he doesn't let your confusion startle him

"i know that look. what am i doing here?"

he says it eloquently as if he's practiced it

AND HE DID!!!

you must've looked so shocked that you immediately apologized, shaking your head no

"i-i didn’t mean-..."

you're confused, sure, but that doesn't mean you're immediately judging

it's just that you never saw jimin here or any function of the like, but you wouldn't put it past him if he does go to these things!!! he looks like a million dollars anyways

"relax, doll. you’re so far the only other person i know that i've seen in these type of things."

he looks calm and collected, but maybe that's just because he spent the last five minutes waiting for you to stand so he could bump into you

this place is just sO suffocating and a familiar face is gonna be his relief from something so fancy that it became mundane

"have we been in the same event before this?"

"not that i recall, no. i get invited but this is only the first time after awhile that i went."

jimin drinks from his champagne flute, wiggling his eyebrows playfully, "wanna know why i'm here?"

you're curious!!! what can you say!!!!

you never really interacted with jimin at all before this, but a familiar face like his is comforting

because hoseok's already engaged in another conversation and jungkook's,,,, being jungkook and is fawning all over jihye

jimin chuckles at your insistent nodding, leaning closer to whisper to your ear

"my stepdad’s loaded as fuck."

oh so that's why

he tugs you down to sit at the nearest possible empty chairs, all its occupants gone anyways because they're in the dancefloor busting tRULY horrendous moves

maybe it's because jimin feels lonely too like you are, and it's him feeling comfortable because he's pulled you like ten seconds ago and not once asked him anything out of bounds

maybe that's why he fell into conversation with you easily because you're always intently listening

"might love me as a real son too. maybe that’s a bonus? you don’t really expect that shit in the things you see."

this situation is actually pretty cute

you snort because maybe you’re nOT that shy when you drink,, that’s the only thing that changes in you probably

this whole conversation that sprung from boredom was unknowingly the subject of many stares, including jungkook who you were initially supposed to go to

“you’re worthy of love, jimin.”

jimin sPITS his drink because where the fuck did THAT come from???

why did you say that and why does he feel that he needed to hear that

“i-i think — i think you need more,” he raises his own glass to your lips hurriedly, caught in surprise but you still gulp nonetheless

“you’re-“ you keep sputtering as he keeps making you drink, but he rubs circles on your back at the same time and it's when you realize that jimin the frat guy may not be that bad, “what??? don’t think you’re not the only one with daddy issues! shouldn’t we have like, a radar for each other?”

jimin snorts at your counter and his eyes crinkle to the point where he can't see anything, not being able to see how you're still trying to recover with all that fizz down your throat

wow ur really enjoyable to talk to

“you’re insane and i think-“

listen

you're not really big on feeling beyond a sense and all that stuff, but you feel as if the aura around you just got dark all of a sudden

"who are you calling insane?"

jungkook appears at your side in an instant, hands wrapped around your shoulders while you remain seated

you've honestly forgotten that you were supposed to go to jungkook, but you're reminded of that vERY clearly now

"go away, jimin," he mutters through his teeth, looking at him dead in the eye

hold on

wait

THAT'S JIMIN???

okay now he's confused

sometimes jungkook's mouth just moves on its own without loading the thought process

"why are YOU here?"

jimin furrows his brows, shocked that he'd even see jungkook here out of all people

the guy barely even attends classes!!! and that's coming from him!!

"why’s he here?"

he crouches to your ear, eyes still furrowed at the younger guy

"long story."

nO???

jungkook scowls bitterly because jesus fuck

YOU’RE ON WHISPERING TERMS NOW????

he left for one second, and the moment he comes back, that's when this fucking frat guy approaches you?? was he waiting on him to leave??

you and jungkook only act as a couple when the need arises, and even if you don't feel it, hE feels that this is the need!!! this is the need and it is arising!!!

"get back to uh, alpha bravo charlie or something, park. beat it."

why’s he reciting the nato phonetic alphabet???

jungkook sounds half-angry and half-sad at the same time, and you don't know which side should you focus on

“move,” he repeats this time again but more sternly, making jimin much more confused since jungkook's trying to pull him away from his seat

jimin doesn't budge and it makes the frown even more evident in jungkook's face

what is he FEELING

“can’t you tell that i really don’t want you to be here?”

“i’m not here for you, though. i’m here for y/n.”

he answers honestly, shis gut telling him that there's definitely something going on between the two of you

“y/n doesn’t want you here," kook argues back surely, only noticing your bitten lips now that makes him realize that you're not exactly sober; just a happy kind of rush

he sees you raise your hand timidly, an equally cheeky smile on your face that's only directed to jungkook like it's meant for him

"i-i actually don’t mind."

you don't,,,

you don't mind?

HOW'S THAT POSSIBLE

WHAT ARE YOU DOING

why aren't you signaling him to commence the faux boyfriend act!!

"y/n has a boyfriend."

“... i’m not hitting on her.”

alright this is more than the entertainment that jimin wished for lol

“yeah, well she has a boyfriend still so beat it.”

you do??

the last time you checked, jihye's gonna have jungkook as her boyfriend within the night!!

“i don-“

ALRIGHT THEN

jimin decides to indulge jungkook, knocking his knee with yours as he winks slyly, urging you silently to watch on, turning to look at you and ask

“what’s your boyfriend’s name?”

you don't answer.

that gives him all the more reason to do so.

“last name, jeon.”

jungkook looks the most determined you've ever seen him, eyes characteristically angry with his arms across his chest that his suit tightens, “first name, me.”

....

......

the three of you know that’s not the truth

jimin takes it in, sighing when he sense that something else is about to be unfold and he does noT want to be a part of it

not before whispering to your ear again for the last time, of course

“pretty weird name if you ask me,” you laugh automatically, momentarily forgetting that jungkook's standing by you on just your opposite side and could hear you

he leaves and that only leaves you with jungkook, looking up at him as he's too frantic to even sit

“what are you doing?”

“being a social butterfly," you quip just as fast, drinking your water afterwards

jungkook only clenches his jaw by then, being taken-aback when you speak again

“who are you doing?”

://

“i’m busy being mad at- wait a minute, WHO???”

who instead of what??

the short-lived enthusiasm you had with jimin left with him, crashing just as hard when you're reminded of jungkook's presence

“jihye’s a pretty nice girl. you should go home early tonight.”

his brows furrow, trying to get you to look at him but you avoid his gaze insistently, “what? what are you talking about?”

“she’s not my girlfriend though.”

you're not at all satisfied with the answer because it sounds so wrong, knowing that jungkook's a handsome guy and everyone wants to be with him!!!

and he probably wants to be with everyone else besides you.

“then who-...”

“don’t know yourself anymore? jimin must’ve really swept you off your feet, huh?”

jungkook huffs as he qualifies for a rebutt, your internal wallowing being cut short

“he’s not my boyfriend.”

...

....

“well would you look at that,” jungkook snickers, sighing through his nose as your eyes finally meet his, directly stubborn yet soft around the edges

“she’s not my girlfriend, and he’s not your boyfriend. what a coincidence.”

god did he feel so threatened the moment his eyes couldn't find you besides hobi and instead next to jimin, eyes crinkled in laughter without hesitation

have you been chasing after one another this whole time?

jungkook silently grabs you by the hand and you wave no opposition to it

maybe it's your liquor-influenced vision or maybe it's you hyperfixating on such a warm moment, but your eyes immediately lock to see the matching red thread bracelet he wore like yours

you're dressed in next year's spring collection line, and the structured silk black gown that has a train behind it doesn't exactly scream to have a simple red thread bracelet as its accessory according to your mom's designer and everyone else —

but you don't have the heart to take it off

there's no need to take it off

jungkook drives your car and no one says a single thing about anything

his hand’s on your thigh and you don’t question it, eyes locking into the way his hand looks perfect and the way the bracelet looks meant to be wrapped in his wrist in the first place

you're sure this time that it's not the newfound courage you have, but rather the need to do it

you kiss jungkook's cheek on a red light.

it's on a red light that jungkook realizes he could fit the visage of his world within one hand, finally kissing you like he's always wanted to

“yeah. what a coincidence.”

#drabble week #jungkook imagine #jungkook imagines #jungkook oneshot #jungkook oneshots #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #jungkook au #jungkook headcanons #jungkook fanfic #jeon jungkook imagine #jungkook angst #jungkook angst imagine #jungkook fluff #jeon jungkook oneshots

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oriigirii · 3 years

Text

💞 MC is a Genshin Simp 💞

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{ AN: Omg! This is my first ask so thank you anon (๑ↀᆺↀ๑)/!! This is such a vibe too haha, I hope you like it! } Warnings: None [Maybe Refs and Chars you wont get if you dont play Genshin Impact] * Probably a bit OOC too *

Reader: Gender-Neutral [Default]

( ⓛ ω ⓛ *)

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< Genshin Impact was a game that took the human realm by storm, with its open-world gameplay, its competitive PvE and aesthatic settings, it was truly something that captured you the moment the beta was announced. Although, as with any Gacha games, you weren’t only attracted to the world and its setting.

No no.

The characters were truly the main eye candy of the game. You’d been worried that when you had been sucked into Devildom, you wouldn’t be able to access the game due to, yknow, realm differences, but luckily that wasn’t the case thanks to Levi, and hence why the moment it dropped, you had been spending your life savings simping for characters on every banner.

Yknow theres handsome bois in devildom too... Theyre just kinda waiting for you to put your game down for a moment and kinda notice em ～((Φ◇Φ)‡ >

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ฅ⁽͑ ˚̀ ˙̭ ˚́ ⁾̉ฅ Lucifer

He usually doesn’t mind you playing games

Although, He would’ve preferred if you didn’t cause you kinda need to focus on your studies yknow?

But hey he’s not stopping you

Usually you would stay with him as he works, but he can’t seem to focus with you constantly begging beside him

Small little ‘please’ would be heard every now and then, and a sudden look of disappointment would show on your face.

He tried to ignore it, even giving little cues for you to quiet down, like clearing his throat

You didnt seem to pick up the hint though

He was just about to ask you what you were doing in the first place that has you praying beside him (which is hella rude) but your scream of happiness has him a little more irked and kinda taken back

“LUCIFER! I GOT HIM! LOOK LOOK I GOT HIM!”

You show him the screen showing your pull results

The character held a giant claymore with bright red hair

Before he can get another word in, you snatch your phone back and just sigh as if youd just had a heavenly (ironic) experience and mumble

“I seriously love him, Im so happy...”

Bro same though, Diluc pls come home

You were truly one of a kind, because youve just managed to break the Avatar of Pride’s... well.... Pride.

Did he just get cucked by a man in a video game?

Truly outrageous.

He seems to scoff and holds back a bit of an eye roll as he tries to focus back on his work

But boy oh boy, his salt is high

“If you are going to be causing a ruckus MC, May i suggest you doing it with Levi instead, I have no time for such games. I dont see why youre so caught up in such a character anyways, he looks quite basic.”

His words were sharp, and that was enough to shake you out of your fangirl/boy mode.

You were literally ready to fight the first born, a literal fucking fallen angel, for dissing Diluc like that

how dare

But then you notice how he seems to avoid your gaze and a small little red tint was on the tip of his ears.

Lucifer wouldve wanted to see you that happy with him, but no, a game character steals that spotlight.

Angey.

Instead of being intimidated by the sudden coldness, you giggle and finally close your phone and set it aside

You can continue celebrating and bragging about it later, for now, you wrap your arms around his arm and give him a small smooch on the cheek, which definitely makes him blush a tad bit

“Awww Luci dont be like that, Yknow I love you more”

Potential apocalypse has been diverted

But Lucifer does smile the smallest of smiles as he sighs, finding it silly to really get jealous over such a small thing and says

“I love you too, my dear... but you do have to make up for distracting me from my work...”

Well you kinda deserve it, so it wasnt long before both his work and your phone had been ditched

( After a while you do kinda see him quite similar to Diluc and it just makes you smile everytime you think about it, seems you have a thing for the strict cold men huh?)

===

Σ(‘◉⌓◉’) Mammon

Why you simping for a fictional character when you already have him?!

He’s your first man!

Your homie!

“Yeah well hes my first 5* so can you blame me?”

S A D N E S S

But for real, this man is just so clingy

He has heard from Levi that you were playing a new game from the human world, and of course, he had wanted to see what it was about by watching you play.

But since it was quite grind-heavy gacha game, he grew a bit bored and asked you to come with him to hang out somewhere else, or even go to the casino and gamble his money away cause he just got goldie back

But no matter what he suggests, you were just so focused on your grinding.

He’d prefer a different kinda grinding right about now with how lonely he is, ya feel me?

But no, you still werent interested.

“Oi! Cmon MC, whats even so important about this?”

“I already told you Mammon, Im grinding for primogems from the event! Theyre gonna be gone soon and I just HAVE to get them! Ugh I swear to Diavolo, if I dont, Imma cry! I didnt get him on their first banner too... ugh!”

Wait no--

Cmon he doesnt want you to cry!

Mammon kinda stays silent for a bit as he watches you struggle to fight the monsters with your low level team, frustration growing on your face.

But as you finish, Mammon seems to snatch your phone

“Hey! whats the big deal Mammon?!”

“Shut up and show me where the store is geez”

Mammon’s demands kinda surprises you and you raise an eyebrow at him, but you do show where it was, and sit back for a while as Mammon just fiddles around with it. You werent sure what he was doing honestly, was he interested? Did you say anything that made him act this way? All you talked about the game was the gacha system so--

oh…

“Mammon! Wait you dont have to---”

“There! I got you as much primo things, or whatever theyre called”

He already has tossed you your phone back and he crossed his arms, looking away as the red blush covers most of his cheeks.

You look at your phone and you honestly felt your heart speed up and stop at the same time at the amount of primos on your account, it was enough for a full 180 pull! If you dont get the limited character on the first 50-50, you have another shot!

You felt your own heart speed up and your face burn so hard, but you do mumble him a quick “But... But why though?”

“Cuz! If you start cryin’ Lucifer’s gonna beat my ass! Dont think I did it for you, you human! I just dont want him taking away Goldie again!”

“But I thought this was your gambling money, isnt it?”

“w-well!... I mean... Hmph.. Gachas kinda like gambling right?, I know Lucifers gonna hang me if he catches me in the casino again anyways, so I thought I might as well just do this... with you...or whatever...” Hes dying, help

But so are you!

Hes too fucking cute and you just glomp him and just hug him as tight as you can!!

Flusterred boi 100

But you do spend you afternoon on his lap, both of you rolling the full 180 in excitement, whether you get that boi/gal you simped for on the banner or not, you still were happy to spend some time with Mammon

He doesnt mind losing a bit of cash for you

but you do promise to pay him back (maybe with a few kissy)

But to be honest, Gacha probably will help him with his gambling addiction...

kinda...

He doesnt go to casinos anymore but he does whale with you now

Lucifer has such a mix feeling with these results.

But he still confiscates Goldie and your card on the end, yall need to chill.

====

ヽ(。_°)ノ Leviathan

He probably wasn’t even interested on the game at first

He already has enough games to play, and it just looks like another rip off of some other game he saw not too long ago with that elf looking guy

But when you came to him asking for his help to get the game, you bet your ass that he felt a switch click

Suddenly it was incredibly interesting!

You do share your interests to him almost immediately

By interests, of course i mean the peeps you simp for

The sexy ara ara in the library of mondstat, the pirate looking ass of the guards, the pirate looking ass’s brother thats a wine owner and still highkey reminds you of Lucifer, the demon slayer--- You were actually unsure if you should talk about Xiao but hey hes cool

You explain it all!

From their lore to their voice lines and whatever

But honestly what do you expect from the Avatar of Envy?

Of course hes gonna be a bit jealous! He cant compare to any of these characters! Hes not as witty as that eye patch man, hes not as sophisticated as that red head, hes not as flirty as that ara ara either!

As you go on, you notice that Levi was kinda... half listening....

It made you pout, but then, it made you worried

Uh-oh you know that look

its that, ‘im overthinking’ look

So to snap him out of it, you kinda grab his face as gently as you can

“Need Grimm for your thoughts?”

He flushes and he immediately looks away, but you usher him to look at you as you coo and ask him whats wrong

It takes a bit till he kinda explains to you how hes feeling

In your relationship, you both were practicing being more open with each other, hence why you were proud of Levi for saying it

but you did feel kinda sad and frowned as he finishes explaining

“You... feel jealous?”

“Ugh d-dont say it out loud normie....”

He covers his face with his arm and you just cant help but shake your head with a fond smile, but you do need to address this and comfort him.

“Levi... when you fanboy about Ruri chan, did you ever think she was better than me?”

Your question made him frown and look at you in absolute worry

Did you actually think that you were below Ruri chan?

Of course hes an absolute simp for Ruri but.. cmon

Now that he thinks about it, he does talk about her a lot doesnt he? oh no...

“MC O-Of course not! I love Ruri chan yes, but you... I... I Love... you more...” Levi exe do be dying

But you smile at his response and gently kisses his cheek

“I think thats sweet Levi... But thats how I am too... Youre still better than any of these characters, youre real and they arent, youre mine and I am yours~ Youre my personal 5 star!” You wink at him and Levi just dips

his heart couldnt handle the cuteness and he died, ladies and gentlemen

but for real he did pass out

Must be from all the blood on his head from the blush

But ah, he does get it, and after being showered with love from you, He kinda slowly got over his jealousy

its not immediate but with simple reassurances, you can manage to reel him in and have fun with you

He does end up enjoying the game cause he gets to spend time with you, and he gets to show off when events happen

He also goes out of his way to memorize locations for materials for you, and when youre sick or busy, he pilots your account

true gamer

But ironically enough hed probably start simping for a character too and of course, you both start bonding over that, which just makes Levi absolutely happy

I wonder if hed simp for Barbara, she is an idol afterall like Ruri chan

Probably lowkey for now

Afterall she looks like a minor so-----

( I dunno i searched shes 16-18 lol )

But regardless, I can imagine you both just cosplaying each others fav characters too

Its a wack looking ship cosplay but yall just simp for each other cause of it, its pretty fun but the rest of the brothers just finds it hella weird

----

I only have energy for these 3 as always, Im sorry! But i promise Ill do the rest!! I hope you guys do enjoy, and Id love some feedback on the characters personalities cause I know they can be a bit Ooc, But feel free to send me an ask! Im pretty open lol 〜(￣△￣〜)

#Obey me #Obey me x reader #Obey me x mc #Obey me shall we date #obey me Mammon x reader #Obey me Lucifer x reader #Obey me Leviathan x reader #Obey me fanfic #Obey me HCs #anon request

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