#i've been meaning to use it somewhere and i'll probably use it again but i just couldn't skip it this time

[apomaro-mellow]

Every Baby Needs a Daddy

Part 1/?

Modern au rock star!Eddie & sugar baby!Steve; alpha!Eddie/omega!Steve

Fall was in full swing and a chill was officially in the air at all times. Most especially as the sun started to go down. Eddie was warm in his leather jacket but for a brief moment his heart went out to the guy standing outside the bar, arms bare to the wind. He was dressed in a striped polo shirt and jeans, not quite what one might see in a dive bar like this.

But he was probably waiting for someone, so Eddie went inside without another thought, catching just the smallest whiff of his scent as he walked by. An omega. He was definitely waiting for someone then. No one kept their omega idling for long. Once inside, Eddie took his shades off, the lights low enough to keep most from recognizing him.

It helped that he was flying solo tonight. No band members or bodyguards in sight. It was nice to be anonymous sometimes. Not that fame and fortune ever got tiring, it was just a good change of pace. He posted up to the bar, ordered a beer, and got comfortable. He was right in the middle of a conversation with another patron about the current season's fishing prospects when that scent washed over him again something like lavender and petrichor.

Although, when Eddie looked over, that second part might've just been the scent of actual rain. The omega from outside was sitting next to him. The tops of his shoulders and head were damp.

"Was wonderin' when you'd come in and grace us with your presence", the bartender said.

The omega simply rolled his eyes and didn't order anything. Eddie saw him shiver and without thinking, took off his jacket and placed it over his shoulders. He realized what he'd done when the other man froze.

"Sorry you just looked cold and maybe you were but I shouldn't've just done something like that I can-I can take it back", he reached out.

"No", the omega held onto the jacket. "No, it's fine. I was cold. Thank you."

"I uh, saw you outside. Boyfriend making you wait?" Eddie inwardly cringed. He meant to be more subtle than that. Meant to say something anything else.

"Don't have one." The omega got a strange look as he finally looked Eddie square in the face. "Have I...seen you somewhere before? Sorry", he shook his head and let out a breath of laughter. "What I line. I swear I'm not-I'm not trying to come on to you or anything, I just know I've seen you on like tv or something."

Eddie couldn't judge on pick up lines after what he said about a boyfriend. "You...you might've." He looked around and contemplated for just a second before he continued. "Ever heard of Corroded Coffin?"

"They're a band, right? That's where I know you from?"

Eddie grinned. "Yeah, that's where." He could tell this guy just barely recognized him and that it wasn't an act.

"God, Dustin would kill me. I can hear him now. Sorry, I'm probably not the kind of fan you like running in to."

"I'll take polite conversation over groveling any day. So do you know any of the member's names?"

"I know there's the guy Dustin likes the most because he can play drums and the bass. He admires talented people like that. And he goes on and on about this Eddie guy, but I can never remember which one-you?"

"Me, handsome", Eddie grinned. "And your name?"

"Steve. But I also answer to 'handsome'."

Steve. Eddie had to taste it on his tongue. "Steve. And were you waiting for Dustin before the rain brought you in?"

Steve smiled now, adjusting Eddie's jacket across his shoulders. "No, I wasn't really waiting for anyone. And before you ask, Dustin is definitely not my boyfriend. I'm completely untethered." Steve ran a hand through his hair, not so damp anymore after they had been talking.

"You gonna order something or keep taking up space at my bar?", the bartender asked.

"What's your poison, Steve?"

"Oh, I can't pay you back", Steve said.

"Then don't. Order something."

"I mean I really can't pay you back, Eddie. I was hanging around outside because I...because I'm between paychecks right now. And I'm not that kind of omega." Steve's shoulders hunched up in shame and he looked like he was about to remove Eddie's jacket.

"I didn't say you were. You don't have to pay me like that. I take many forms of compensation. Including sparkling dialogue with gorgeous men."

"Really?", Steve asked, voice flat in disbelief.

"Really."

Steve turned to the bartender. "Whiskey sour please."

Eddie smiled. "So, what's your opinion on farmed fish versus wild caught?"

---------------------------

Steve had been going through the worst day of his life. Work had been awful and he had wanted to scream. He ran out so quick that he forgot his jacket and was already halfway home when he remembered. He kept going. He wasn't going back there today. He got to his apartment, ready to fill his empty stomach with something only to find he was devoid of food.

Of course. He'd cleaned himself out with his last heat and hadn't gone grocery shopping since. He'd been eating out for the past week. And if he checked his bank account....

$10.43

And pay day wasn't for another three days. Steve was desperate. It was plenty of money if he went to the convenience store right outside his apartment. But the cashier there always gave him odd looks and he just didn't have the energy for it. He contemplated sending someone in to buy his stuff, but he wasn't feeling very trusting right now.

Which was how he ended up at the bar. The dollar store would've been an option last week, but it was a couple of miles away and his car was in the shop. He didn't even know what his plan was. Buy the cheapest drink and fill up on pretzels and nuts? It was why he was standing outside as the sun got lower, just feeling sorry for himself.

He just wished someone would take pity on him. Would see how hard he had been working and told him it was okay, he could take a break now and they'd take care of him.

Hell would probably freeze over first though.

Then the rain started and he couldn't waste time out here any longer. At least inside the bar, it was warm. Steve already wasn't looking forward to the walk home. What if it was still raining? He couldn't afford to get sick right now. He sat at the only empty seat at the bar and thought of the least pathetic way to ask for a cheap drink when something warm came over him.

It smelled of ginger and cinnamon and for a moment, Steve was drowning in it when he heard the owner of the jacket try to apologize for it and then take it back. Instinctively, Steve held onto it tighter.

"No, no, it's fine. I was cold. Thank you."

The alpha next to him said something about a boyfriend that Steve barely registered but figured out by context what he was asking.

"Don't have one." He shook his head and then actually looked the alpha up and down. Curly hair spilled over his shoulders and he looked smaller without the leather jacket that was currently over his own shoulders. There was something oddly familiar about him. Like he'd seen that face on his social media feed or something.

When Steve asked, he realized he was talking to a guy in Dustin's favorite band. He felt like an idiot. This guy was probably used to starstruck fans bowing at his feet and here Steve was, just treating him like a nobody. But try as he might, Steve couldn't pretend like he was some big deal, even imagining Dustin's lecture on proper celebrity sighting etiquette later didn't change things.

Then the alpha, Eddie his name was Eddie, introduced himself and then asked for his name, tacking on a compliment at the end of the question.

"Steve. But I also answer to 'handsome'." He couldn't help being a little hungry for some positive attention right now.

Then Eddie asked a very unsubtle question about Dustin, insinuating that he was some kind of boyfriend and Steve wanted to laugh. The little kid he had babysat that had been like the pain in the ass brother he never asked for definitely wasn't that. And he let Eddie know that.

"Dustin is definitely not my boyfriend. I'm completely untethered." He didn't know why he said it like that. He might as well have spread his legs and held up a sign that said 'open for business'. This guy was a literal rock star, he must have lustful groupies throwing themselves at him all the time. Wording it like that absolutely wasn't Steve intention. Even if his scent was so comforting and intoxicating.

Then the bartender urged them to order something and Steve felt his empty stomach drop. Eddie insisted on buying him a drink and Steve really wished he had the money for it because there was no way he was paying in any other way. And if Eddie was expecting that, he'd just as soon go back out into the rain, leaving the warm jacket behind.

"You don't have to pay me like that. I take many forms of compensation. Including sparkling dialogue with gorgeous men."

Steve searched his face for a bluff, any sign of dishonesty. But he saw none.

"Really?"

"Really."

So Steve ordered just as Eddie asked him something about fishing and clearly this night was not going to go the way he planned.

--------------------------

Eddie was halfway through his second drink and knee deep in a conversation about the pros and cons of fishing compared to hunting. Apparently Steve's dad took him out hunting before he presented and afterward, his grandfather took him out on a couple of fishing trips.

"One just seems more fair, is all I'm saying", Steve said, still nursing his first drink. "One has you sneaking up on an unsuspecting animal. The other one you're just luring them. Fish know what they're getting into. Deer don't until they're already in your sights."

"You think very highly of fish intelligence", Eddie noted.

"I once had a year long beef with a friend's pet fish. Long story. But fish are smarter than they look." Then Steve's stomach growled. Very loudly. Embarrassingly loud.

"I don't know about you, but all this fish talk is making me hungry", Eddie said. "Can I buy you dinner?"

"I suppose I've got about twenty bucks worth of more conversation in me", Steve smiled, appreciating what Eddie was offering.

Eddie paid the tab and Steve put his arms into the jacket, then remembered Eddie might want it since it was cold outside. "Did you want-"

"Keep it on. I run hot anyway and we just need to make it to my car." That was a lie, Eddie had the circulation of a failing newspaper but he liked the look of Steve in his jacket too much to give it up. And the rain had stopped so now it was just damp and cold outside.

Steve thought he should feel wary of getting into a car with a stranger, especially a famous one. But he had his phone on him and Eddie was taking him to a place with a lot of people, so it was fine. Eddie put his sunglasses on as they went inside and asked for a table in the back, which the person up front gladly accommodated.

"Not to toot my own horn", Eddie said as they were seated. "But I can never tell when and where I'll get recognized. And I don't want any tabloids tomorrow morning." Because right now, Steve didn't just look like some random guy that Eddie was wining and dining. Right now, he looked like he belonged to Eddie.

"Got any funny stories?", Steve asked.

Eddie grinned and rolled his shoulders as he got comfortable in his seat. "Well, there was the one time I was literally in a tv studio about to be interviewed with the band and someone thought I was the boom guy."

"If I was dressing up on Halloween as a boom guy, I think I'd put on this general look", Steve said, gesturing to Eddie's whole body.

"And there was the time I got recognized while at a fabric store. I'm standing in line, basket full of sewing supplies and a bunch of floral fabrics, and this woman in her sixties asks for my autograph."

"Aren't you in a metal band?"

"Yeah and some of our most hardcore fans are women over 40", Eddie said. "Don't underestimate 'em."

A waiter came by and took their orders and they kept talking. Steve couldn't believe how badly his day had started because now it felt like he was flying above the clouds. Eddie actually seemed interested in what he had to say. And Steve was constantly thrown by the different directions Eddie took the conversation. From fishing, to getting recognized stories, to horrible customers, to the perils of sailing a boat.

"Never?"

"I remember going once as a kid and was scared shitless the whole time", Steve said. "Whoever decided it was okay for me to watch Titanic in kindergarten really messed me up."

"So besides that one time you've never been on a boat?", Eddie asked.

"My parents tried getting me on a yacht once and I started hyperventilating on the dock. I stayed on the boardwalk", Steve said. Just one of the many ways he'd been a disappointment.

After the meal, Eddie offered to drive Steve home. He wanted to. But after drinks and food and talking to Eddie for so long about nothing at all, Steve felt cautious. Had his guard lowered? If he let Eddie see him to his door, would Eddie be expecting something? What made him even more hesitant was that he might let Eddie get away with it.

He was handsome and charming and had alleviated Steve's worries for a few hours. He was even going home with some leftovers in a box. For a second, Steve wondered if food was all it took.

"Hey, look, I understand if you don't want some strange alpha taking you home. What about if I just order you a ride?", Eddie suggested.

"You can take me home", Steve said quickly. "Just don't expect any dessert."

Before leaving, Eddie excused himself to use the restroom and Steve used that opportunity to do something that was probably really stupid. It was certainly pointless. But he could take a risk every now and then. He tore off a piece of the menu and used a pen at the podium up front and that was how Eddie found him.

"Ready to go?"

"Ready", Steve smiled.

The car ride was a little more quiet, both of them digesting both the food and what had happened tonight. Meeting a stranger that you clicked with, it didn't happen every day. Steve gave him his address and Eddie pulled up to the building.

"You should walk me up", Steve said. "Make sure I get there safe."

"Y-yeah, I can do that", Eddie stuttered, struggling with his seatbelt while Steve was already out of the car.

Eddie followed him to his apartment, glad now for the chill outside because otherwise he'd be sweating watching Steve's ass for so long as he walked in front of him.

"Well, this is me", Steve said.

"I had a great time tonight", Eddie said.

Steve laughed and ran a hand through his hair. "Can we come up with anymore first date lines?"

"Hmm, how's about I'd love to do this again soon?", Eddie smiled, leaning in a bit.

"I'd like that." Steve took Eddie's jacket off his shoulders.

"What if I want you to wear it for our next date?", Eddie asked.

"If you want me to wear this, you better scent it properly", Steve goaded.

Eddie pinned him against the door and smashed their mouths together. His jacket was trapped between their bodies. Steve let out a soft sound and brought a hand to Eddie's cheek.

"We can't go on a second date until the first one is over", Steve said when he pulled back. He curled a lock of Eddie's hair around his finger just because he couldn't help it.

"Your number?", Eddie asked, licking at Steve's lips.

"Check your jacket", Steve breathed.

Eddie didn't take his eyes off Steve as he went through his jacket pocket and found what Steve had been scribbling on earlier. It was a ripped piece of the menu. And it had Steve's number on it.

Part 2

If I had a nickel for every time I steddified a Marilyn Monroe song I'd have two nickels.

#apo writes #stranger things #fanfiction #steddie #a/b/o #omegaverse #okay maybe dont expect all the parts to be this long tho LOL

[sunnys-out]

I've loved you for so long (1) | Lucy Bronze

A/N: Hello! I haven't written in so long but here is something that I have been working on since the WC (she's a short one I know). I didn't post it earlier because I was moving and starting a new job but everything has calmed down and I had time to edit it. Please let me know what y'all think and hopefully, I can post the 2nd part soon! If you like my writing maybe through in a suggestion and I'll try my best! :D

Content: Angst, Fluff if you squint

{Word Count: 2004}

______________________________________________________________

I've loved you for so long

Oh, I'd forgotten how it feels

Feelings come back strong

'I've Loved You For So Long - The Aces'

Lucy and I had met, informally, in 2015 in Canada, we never played against each other in that World Cup but that didn’t stop us from bumping into each other at Tim Hortons. The couple of times that we ran into each other at the World Cup caused small conversations and laughs that left me wanting more. God, even just her smile left me wanting. 

I didn’t message her throughout our respective seasons right after the World Cup but sometimes I’d click on her Instagram profile and just scroll and see her thrive in Manchester City. Well I did drum up the courage to message once.

‘It’d probably be weird if I messaged her out of the blue right?... I mean it has been weeks  since Canada?’ I told myself as I lay on my small apartment couch in Portland.  

My thumb hovered over the send button with a slight tremble.

“Fuck it” My thumb harshly hit the screen and the quick ‘Wanted to say that you had an amazing tournament. Shame we never played against each other ♥️That goal against Canada was a banger meant to send that in Canada lol!”  message was delivered.

 I swear I threw my phone onto the other side of my couch and took a shower not expecting to see two notifications sent five minutes after me.

‘Lucy Bronze liked your message’

‘Lucy Bronze: ‘means a lot. Hope to see you again soon, miss world champion ⭐️⭐️⭐️’

I didn’t notice the smile growing as I looked at the notifications on the screen. I probably read it 20 times, setting the phone down on my coffee table and pacing the room debating whether I should respond or what I even should respond with. 

“Lucy is funny, maybe I can joke about how it’s been long or maybe just a ‘feeling is mutual’” I said aloud to myself.

‘Why am I getting worked up about this?” My hair is now messy by how many times I redid my ponytail pacing the room for 13 minutes. I kept procrastinating and just settled with getting ready for bed.

‘I’ll just respond tomorrow,’ I said, confidently,  plugging in my phone and placing it on my nightstand. That sentiment lasted about 2 minutes before I walked quickly back into my room picking up my phone, opening the message, and liking Lucy’s before responding. 

Y/N: I would love to see you again! I hope it's somewhere other than Tim Hortons even though I loved that place lol 🙂

My phone immediately locked as I got into bed and turned away from my phone. I closed my eyes tightly trying to go to sleep quickly so that in the rare probability that Lucy would continue the conversation, I could deal with it tomorrow morning, maybe ask Klingenburg for advice. Though she might scold me for fraternizing with the enemy, jokingly of course. Defenders knew other defenders right? Kling would find it funny that a right winger is flirting with a right back.

My thoughts were interrupted by one vibration and then two more in succession. My body slowly turned over to see my phone lit up still and then slowly dimming. My hand, subconsciously, went over, picked up my phone, and opened the messages seeing Lucy liking my message.

Lucy: Let me buy you a cup whenever you’re in Manchester; there are some cafes you’d like here.

Lucy: I would love to show you around 🙂 

I smiled at the messages and immediately replied without a second thought

Y/N: I will let you know because I do need a vacation 🥲

Y/N: And I would love to give you a tour of Portland, the coffee capital of the world. Worth it.

I stared at the messages until I saw a little heart appear on my last message. The little dots of a message incoming made me nervously tap the side of my phone. 

Lucy Bronze: I’ll take that as a promise 😉

Y/N: And I expect that cup of coffee in Manchester is a promise too ☺️

Lucy would only like the message and I would promptly go to sleep after waiting 15 minutes for a message that never came. I tried my best to not think about it but the feeling that came from reading her messages and the smile that would creep onto my face…I wouldn’t forget. 

Hayley Raso came into my life slowly after that. Glances turned to long stares. The lingering touches throughout practice became more than a pat on the back for a job well done. The smiles and laughs echoed off the walls of Providence Park as we walked to our cars until it was just to my car.

The weekly movie nights at my place turned into watching a show and cuddling together after practice for days on end. Another toothbrush appeared in the bathroom and suddenly my queen-sized bed wasn’t as empty. 

Mornings were met with a quick kiss, a hug from behind, and sweet nothings whispered in each other's ear.

Going to practice wasn’t done alone anymore and it was nice to have someone waiting on you if you had to stay behind to see the physio.

It was easy since we were both playing for Portland at the time and the team weren’t surprised when we told them.

 Little by little the Australian would appear in my Instagram photos and I in hers. 

The one that “broke the internet” was Hayley’s post of her kissing me on the cheek at the end of a game when the USWNT and Australia had a friendly. The one that sealed the deal for everyone was my Christmas post of photos of the party I had at my apartment. One, a particular one at the end, Hayley was in my lap while I kissed her. 

Something, however, nagged at me every time I saw a certain person's name pop up “Lucy Bronze liked your post” but I ignored it. I now know it was the feeling of the “what if” and “what could have been”. 

‘Did Lucy not want this with me? Maybe that’s why she never followed up. I probably said something to scare her away. Hayley didn’t run away’ I remember thinking to myself and as if on cue two arms snake their way around my waist. 

“Everything alright babe?” Hayley said into my back, I, immediately, felt my shoulders relax at the sound of Hayley’s voice.

I whispered, “I'm alright, just read some rude comments. You know how some people get”. I lied to Hayley; I was happy in our relationship and shouldn’t be wondering about the “what could have been” with someone that wasn’t her.  

Hayley would then go on to say that she’s told me to never look at the comments because when have the mean ones ever done something for us? She’d led me back to the bedroom to get ready for bed as we had an early practice but not after she promised to take my mind off the “negative comments”...it worked. 

______________________________________________________________

She Believes Cup March 6th, 2016, 

Lucy Bronze’s POV

We hadn’t played the United States in Canada which is a shame to not be able to play the future World Champions. Once, we had heard that we would be playing them in the She Believes Cup. I was excited for multiple reasons.

The US call up was released and I would be playing against (y/n). Since the World Cup, (Y/N) was making a name for herself as a strong right winger and playmaker for Portland and the National team.

On the pitch, she seemed cold and intimidating, but I met her as the complete opposite. 

I was able to just watch her tap her lip with her finger with her US cap on backward as she decided which pastry she wanted with her coffee at that Tim Hortons. She whistled quietly as she waited her turn and then adorably, fumbled through her order. Then humming to herself happily as she waited on the side with her warm croissant covered by a napkin.  

I was in awe of her. I had seen her play before and was always impressed by what I’d seen but never played against her. 

As I went up to order my own coffee and pastry I noticed her scrolling through her phone, laughing to herself. (y/n’s) eyes crinkle when she laughs or smiles really big. She hadn’t noticed me when I stood next to her, also waiting for my drink, there I took notice that she was at least three inches above me and that she sticks out her tongue when she is reading something. 

I breathed in and said loud enough for her to hear as she read, “I won’t tell your trainer if you don’t tell mine” I shook my little bag containing the coffee cake I had just ordered. I chuckled at the little jump she gave when she noticed me.

“Shit, sorry you scared me” a nervous laugh leaving her mouth

I extended my hand, “Sorry bout that. I’m Lucy, Lucy Bronze with England”  

She completed the handshake, “(y/n) (l/n) with the US…obviously” She pointed to her hat that had USA stitched on the back.

The conversation had good enough banter that we both remained at a table for about 2 hours talking about life and football. I could tell you that I fell for the way she looked at me with her gentle (y/e/c) eyes as she described the antics of her new golden retriever puppy named Chili she had adopted when she went to Portland.

I never really was intimidated or made nervous by any American player, especially on the pitch but watching her warm up with an icy cold expression during the She Believes Cup match made me question if the person I met at Tim Horton’s was the same person. 

I don’t think I was nervous but I lost count of how many times I would try to get a glimpse of her as she warmed up. Every time I did I’d feel the blush on my cheeks as I remembered the short text conversation that we had shortly after the World Cup. 

I regretted so much for not following up immediately; I got scared. If (y/n) asked me today why I didn’t respond, I wouldn’t have known what to say to be honest. Lack of courage was what Jill had told me as Jordan patted my back while reading the messages.  

The moment that I finally gained the courage to message (y/n) on Instagram to invite her to Manchester for a visit, was the day when I saw the picture of Hayley Raso kissing her cheek at a friendly. It was the first thing I saw when I opened the app to message her.

I remember my stomach dropping like the feeling when you don’t feel the bottom of a pool. 

I had it all planned in my head that she’d accept and I had a mini itinerary in my head of things she would’ve enjoyed and sightseeing spots. But the photo of her with her face buried in Hayley’s neck as she hugged her made the feeling worse.

Raso had beat me to (y/n) and she didn’t even know it. I kicked myself for not being brave. I would’ve had her in my arms sooner. I tell her all the time that I fell for her immediately and from meeting her I wanted more of her every passing day. 

Just seeing her across the field filled me with the tucked away feelings I had for her. I remember thinking…What I would have given to be there again talking about the most mundane things over coffee. Hearing her try her hardest to tell a joke but failing as she laughs remembering the punch line or even unconsciously speaking with an English accent when we spoke… God, I really loved her for so long.

#woso #wwc 2023 #lucy bronze #lucy bronze imagine #woso x reader #engwnt x reader #lucy bronze x reader #barca femeni

[antianakin]

Pong Krell. It’s universally agreed that he deserved worse than what he got and I get that. I just wished we got to see what he was like before he Fell. Did he always hate clones, was it gradual? Did he suspect something off and went over paranoid?

I’ll say this one and I’ll say this probably a thousand more times but I wished the creators focused on more details with characters. It’s absolutely fascinating that they created a Jedi that Fell but did nothing with it besides outright evil.

How other Jedi reacted to learning that a fellow Jedi betrayed everyone? How did the Republic?

I just wished they did more with him than just, yeah that dude was a dick and killed clones.

Yeah, it's one of the things I don't like as much about TCW, the extremely episodic nature of it means that there really is never any build-up to anything or lasting impact from anything. Unless it's happening within one of the 2-4 episode arcs, we RARELY get to see any kind of build-up or fallout. It's one of the major issues with Barriss, too, we see her ONCE in season 2 and she's calm, kind, methodical, and selfless. And then three seasons later in season 5 she's suddenly ruthless, selfish, doubting everything and everyone, merciless, etc. There is NO BUILD UP to that radical 180 to her character and there's no real exploration of how Ahsoka really feels about that particular betrayal afterwards, the focus in later episodes after the Wrong Jedi focuses only on Ahsoka feeling betrayed by the COUNCIL and her feelings about that. Nothing since TCW has ever touched it either (Rebels, Mandalorian, the Ahsoka show). Satine's death never really comes up again after it happens aside from Bo-Katan being an asshole. Obi-Wan goes from being totally fucked up about Maul coming back to being chill enough to take on Maul and Savage alone and winning without us getting to see him actually deal with those emotions.

Pong Krell and the Umbara arc IN GENERAL falls into this category easily (so do the Zyggeria and the Deception arc tbh). Krell is such a basic evil character, there's so little nuance to him and we never get to see the Jedi react to the revelation that one of their own turned at all. Dooku turned after he had already left the Order as far as any of them really know, but Krell was still IN the Order when he decided to betray them and it would've been really interesting to see the impact of that on them. It would've been ESPECIALLY interesting to explore that more during the Wrong Jedi arc in particular in how the Jedi feel like they can't trust their own people not to betray them anymore after Dooku and Krell.

Krell is presented with like. Zero nuance. He is just unequivocally evil and despite Anakin greeting him in a friendly way at the beginning, the visuals tell you this dude's no good right from his first appearance. There isn't really any chance that he's going to be a good guy at all. So all we are left with are headcanons.

And I remember discussing my Krell headcanons somewhere, but I think it might've been on a Discord server I've since left, so I unfortunately cannot find them again. So I'll try to remember them and immortalize them here, I guess.

Here's the thing about Krell. NO ONE suspects him. So he cannot be overtly acting like a bigoted asshole from the jump at any point, he HAS to be acting in such a way that it's not trickling out to the other clones and to the Jedi themselves that Krell is an absolute monster. Even Fives takes a moment to decide that Krell is suspicious and only brings up Krell's casualty numbers after he sees Krell's behavior for a minute and combines that knowledge with what he's now personally experiencing and is starting to come to conclusions based on that. He doesn't go into the relationship thinking Krell is worse than any other Jedi already.

And based on what we know of EVERY OTHER FALLEN JEDI (Dooku, Anakin, Barriss), they didn't start out as monsters. Dooku was a highly respected Jedi Master who seems to have had a really positive relationship with Yoda and Qui-Gon and simply became disillusioned with the Senate and his care for the people of the galaxy got twisted into something darker over time. Barriss was kind, selfless, compassionate, brave, and resourceful, and it was the war that caused her to start letting her fears and pain consume her into turning on the Jedi. Anakin was kind and spent years having his fears and doubts twisted into selfishness and greed and darkness that allowed him to justify murder and genocide for power. So it wouldn't make sense to me that Pong Krell wouldn't fall into the same pattern where he was once kind and good and selfless and brave, but that the circumstances surrounding the war caused him to lose faith and fall.

My headcanon is that he lost an entire battalion early in the war, much like we see happen to Plo Koon during the Malevolence arc and that that loss and failure just BROKE him. Krell DID care about the clones, he cared about his men, and he FAILED them all. And I think that he saw all of these clones dying by the dozens in all of the other battalions and instead of choosing to let go of his pain and fear and lean into his compassion, he chose to distance himself from them entirely to make it hurt less. If he didn't care about the clones, if he just saw them as the cannon fodder that the Senate treated them all as, then it would hurt less when they died. Maybe the Senate itself even dragged him over the coals for that initial loss. Or perhaps it was the opposite, maybe most of his battalion was killed, but it ultimately ended in a victory anyway because they were forced to just keep going despite the consequences. And so Krell decides to enter this mindset where he is disillusioned with the Senate and just CANNOT allow himself to care about the clones, because it won't change what the Senate is going to do to them anyway, so he may as well just treat them the same way.

And this wouldn't have happened overnight. It wouldn't have been a sudden 180 where he decided he was just going to treat them like shit. But he maybe decided to put some more professional distance between himself and his new battalion, not get close to them, not use their names (although he still knows them, still remembers them all). Maybe one day they're in a tricky situation and all of his options are bad, he HAS to sacrifice some of his men in order to salvage the situation at all, and it's a choice between a full retreat that he KNOWS the Senate won't take well, or sacrificing the men to achieve the victory. So he sacrifices the men. It's not an entire battalion, it's not even a whole company, but it's more than it would've been if he'd retreated. Maybe next time, there's a choice between going back to save some of the men even if it poses a risk to his own life or the mission or something, and he chooses not to go back for them because the mission is more important, or he rationalizes that his life is more important as the Jedi General. And it's just more and more little decisions like that that add up over time to being able to see the clones as nothing more than tools.

The disillusionment with the Senate leads to him sort-of agreeing with things Dooku and the Separatists have said and he can look at the war and realize that it's entirely possible that the Republic is going to LOSE, and he CANNOT be the one who loses again, so maybe he starts bouncing around the concept of maybe switching sides. And of course initially he rejects the idea. He's a Jedi, he won't just abandon the Republic, he can't be a traitor, who in the Separatist side would ever trust him anyway. But once that seed is planted, it doesn't go away and it keeps coming back up and he keeps finding ways to rationalize why it might be a good idea and then deciding not to do it over and over again. Until one day, he can't convince himself that it's a bad idea or that it wouldn't work. He tells himself it's the ONLY option, if he doesn't change sides then he's dead. But Dooku WON'T trust him unless he can prove that he's not on the Republic's side, so he has to come up with a plan to gain their trust. And what better way to earn that trust than to ensure a Separatist victory in an important campaign by double-crossing the Republic.

And once he's chosen to go down that path, it's even EASIER to stop caring about the clones because, well, they're all dead anyway. The Republic is going to lose, the clones are all dead men walking no matter what, so why bother caring about them or trying to keep them alive? He can't lose so often that the Jedi or the Senate become suspicious of him, of course, but it's REALLY easy then to get to Umbara and treat the clones like crap and turn them against each other and intentionally try to get them all killed. They're dead anyway, he's not the one killing them really, is he, the Senate is, the Jedi are, the war is. They were dead from the moment they were created in that test tube because they were created for this specific purpose. It's not his fault.

And much like Barriss turns against the Jedi in part because she did LOVE the Jedi and was devastated by what she saw happening to them and the pain of seeing her people forced to become something they were never supposed to be, as much as her actions were intended as some kind of message to try to sort-of save the Jedi from a course of action she saw as their downfall, I think that Krell turns on the clones because at some point he DID care about them. A lot. And that care became his downfall, the pain at what was being done to them just absolutely gutted him and it threw him down a path that ultimately led him to turn against the very people whose deaths had hurt him so badly just a few short years ago.

Krell might not have been the most effusive or emotional person prior to the war or anything, he might've been a more reserved person similar to Mace or Dooku or Luminara, but I think he probably was a perfectly good Jedi who was kind and selfless and compassionate once upon a time.

And none of the headcanons above have even touched what his relationships with other JEDI must have been like. It's just as possible that he did have friends and people he considered family among the Jedi. Maybe he had a padawan once at some point. And maybe all of those people had died by the time we get to Umbara. Maybe he had to watch a lot of the people he was closest to just fall like flies, and so it starts feeling like nothing matters. Maybe one of the Jedi who died on Geonosis was a former padawan of his, but Krell himself obviously wasn't there and the pain of THAT loss and the guilt he feels at not having been there (even though this padawan had been knighted for a while and there was a good reason Krell wasn't there that day) just sticks with him, too, and he never quite manages to let that go, either.

I think a lot of people choose to just headcanon Krell as having just always been kind-of an asshole even when he was a Jedi, but that doesn't work for me. If Krell was always an asshole, I feel like the Jedi would've stepped in at some point before the war even HAPPENED and tried to manage that situation. And it doesn't match up with the way pretty much every other fallen Jedi has ever been written, where they were GOOD PEOPLE once upon a time who saw awful things happen that they couldn't stop or had an awful thing happen TO them that they couldn't stop and the pain of that experience consumes them to the point that they spiral into darkness as a result. Krell should be the same way, which means he likely was a perfectly good normal Jedi before the war. He would've been kind, he might've been good with younglings (he's tall, maybe he was the one the younglings went to all the time for piggy back rides, maybe he often taught dual wielding to padawans who asked because of how clearly proficient he is at it), he might've taught a student of his own successfully, he would've been wise and selfless and compassionate, he would've loved the Jedi and the people of the galaxy.

Like, to be frank, if Tales of the Jedi HAD to explore a fallen Jedi story, they should've explored Krell instead of Dooku. Dooku has been explored before, we know quite a lot about him and his motivations and his backstory, but Krell, as you noted, is left a mystery and is stuck in the realm of being just purely evil for the sake of the story they were telling in this one arc. Krell needed more nuance in a way Dooku just did not.

#star wars #pong krell #tcw #the clone wars #umbara #umbara arc #krell

[wolfiesmoon]

Irregular heartbeat

Riddle Rosehearts x gn!reader

We learned about disney in film class this week and my mind was infected by images of twst boys lmaoo this game is a disease

I've had a turbulent week but its finally time for the holidays which means.... more schoolwork because our school doesnt subscribe to mental health

Lately, Riddle has been unfocused in class. This is very much unlike him, and he realises this. For him, being this distracted is like a death sentence to his perfect test scores.

He needs to get to the bottom of this, and quick.

Classes are over for the day and he's returning to his dorm to check up on the rose maze. Soon, it will be time for an unbirthday party and he must make sure everything is progressing smoothly.

Especially the painting of the roses, which was started a little late this time.

Ace and Deuce ended up complaining to you about the workload and since you have nothing to do anyways you decided to join them in painting the roses. Grim opted out of it this time since he "has better things to do".

You hummed to yourself as you painted the first rose on a heart shaped bush by yourself.

"What are you doing here?" a strict voice stopped you in your tracks. You'd recognise that voice anywhere. You probably should have asked if it was fine for you to help out beforehand, but you've helped without his permission before, even if it was on account of a certain first year's stupidity.

"I was bored and Ace and Deuce were complaining, so I decided to join. Don't tell me you're mad about free labour from the good of my own heart?" you added the final spot of paint to the rose, pouting back at him dramatically.

"I am thankful for your help, I don't know why you would make such an accusation." And yet, he still looked pissed off for some reason.

You stepped off from the stepstool, moving closer to him and humming. "Then why do you look like an old grumpy persian cat right now?"

"What- I do not!" he defended himself, cheeks turning a little pink as he crossed his arms.

In reality, he's angry that you're doing more work than you have to. He knows how horrible it is to be overworked a little too well and he wants you to be well rested and happy under every circumstance, not helping out when you really don't need to.

"I'll paint the roses. Don't bother yourself. I am much faster because I can simply transform them with my magic anyways." He moved past you, stepping up on the stepstool (which was unnecessary since he can use magic from a distance).

He doesn't really know why, but he gets the urge to protect you sometimes. Even from a task like painting the roses.

"If you say sooo..." you sat down on the soft grass, watching Riddle paint rose after rose. You have to admit, the slight smile on his face is quite adorable.

You could get used to watching this.

"Hey! Get back here, you stupid weasel!" you heard Ace's voice from somewhere in the rose maze. Weasel...? There's only one weasel you know.

And sure enough, in a few seconds Grim was running past you with a mischevious look on his face and a magical pen in his mouth, which you presume belongs to Ace.

Seems he got bored of "all the better stuff he had to do" and decided to cause trouble for poor Ace again. You got up, trying to grab him but ultimately failed in doing so.

"Wait right there!" Riddle yelled after Grim, attempting to stop him with his magic but he was a moment too late with Grim dissapearing behind a corner.

A few moments after him, Ace came running around the corner. "Where did he go?!" he asked frantically, whipping his head around at all the paths where Grim could have gone.

"That way." you pointed casually, already used to their shenanigans.

Ace quickly ran past you, accidentally moving the stepstool in the process and making Riddle stumble and fall over.

You quickly caught him, softening his fall. Thank god you were standing so close to him.

"Wha..." he whispered, cheeks turning red again. What in the world is this feeling? It feels like his chest is tightening, but it feels... good? Being caught in your arms is strange.

"Are you okay?" you asked, concerned by the look on his face.

"I umm.... I am completely fine." Riddle cleared his throat, straightening up and taking a singular step away from you.

"Are you sure? Because you look pretty shaken up to me." you moved close to him again, inspecting his face up close.

"You must be doing that on purpose." he felt like his heart was about to explode out of his chest. Now that he thinks about it, this feeling is similar to the one he gets during class. The one he can't get rid of for the life of him.

"What do you mean?" you asked innocently. You really want to kiss his red cheeks right now, but with Riddle you never know if they're red from anger or... something else. You don't want to take any chances, but it's hard to hold back around him sometimes.

"Nevermind. Just do something about those two!" he huffed, turning his head away, face now completely red.

Oops, looks like you ended up painting the housewarden red instead of the roses.

#˗ˏˋ ★ ♡ 「Wolfie’s other works」 ♡ ★ ˎˊ˗ #twst x yuu #disney twst #disney twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twst x you #twst x y/n #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland x yuu #twisted wonderland x you #riddle x yuu #riddle x reader #riddle x mc #riddle rosehearts x yuu #riddle rosehearts #riddle rosehearts x reader #riddle rosehearts x mc #riddle fluff

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not telling my partners I'm a system?

💚🐻

To preface this, I don't use Tumblr and I'm using my partner's account, so I would rather ask this anonymously. Forgive any non-tumblr-isms 😅.

This happened a while ago, but to be honest I can't let this go. I feel so horrible about it despite being reassured and I figured Tumblr, who has a lot of systems/people with DID/OSDD, would be able to give me an unbiased (as much as I can give an unbiased account, anyway) answer.

I, (24M), am a system with one headmate, P, (??). (Neither of us are sure how old he is, since it seems to change on the day). I don't want to get into exactly how I got him, but I believe the term for what we are is "traumagenic"? Sorry, again, I'm not really familiar with everything.

Anyway, I've had him since I was 8, and he's been... well, a real pain in the ass, to be frank. I understand now that he's a defender by nature and was trying to protect us, but when you get expelled from middle school for several physical attacks and almost get sent to juvie you start to resent the guy a bit. He's a bit like a sleeping bear, except if the sleeping bear had one eye open and killed you before you could hurt him.

Back when I got out of my abuser's house and went no contact at age 20, I moved in with my current partners, Bonfire (24M) and Greenhouse (25NB) (names changed for privacy, obviously.) At the time I didn't know them, but they were looking for another roommate and I desperately needed somewhere to live.

So I moved in with just the clothes on my back and my wallet (bad move, I know, but I didn't have anything anyway). I didn't care to interact with them all that much, not wanting P to get defensive and attack them for no reason, but they just kept pushing and eventually I relented and hung out with them some.

"Some" turned to "often," and then "often" turned into "sleeping-in-their-bed-and-sharing-our-clothes." At that point I was too far into it and embarrassed to admit I'd been hiding a whole other person from them in my mind. I wasn't sure if they'd even like me after, what with P's history of violence.

...so I never told them. I did my best to forget about anything that ever happened and tried to just enjoy the future I'd always wanted for myself. Bonfire and Greenhouse are lovely people and I was finally, maybe just a little happy. I'd never been a happy person and I was content to bask in it for as long as I was able.

This, of course, backfired immensely. P and I didn't have the best relationship at the time, with both of us wanting to do very extreme things to get away from the other. He wanted to kick me out and be by himself in my body, and I wanted to kill myself to be rid of him. We've since reconciled and made strides in accepting ourself for who we are- it hasn't been easy by any means, but that isn't the point.

I recognize now that he was afraid of being hurt again, not wanting to get out of that survival mindset in case Greenhouse and Bonfire turned out to be super-secret mega abusers taking advantage of our trust, but I also know what he did after was wrong.

He got physical with Bonfire, screaming at him and threatening to kill him if he got any closer. I don't have any memory of this happening, so some details may be incorrect, and I apologize for that. Bonfire, not knowing that P was not, in fact, me, (coupled with the fact that he's a fucking idiot (meant with affection)), he got closer and tried to talk me (him) down. P punched him in the face and broke his nose, after which he ran out of the house and left me to "wake up" a few miles away curled up under a tree.

P left me a note a few days later that said he didn't mean to break his (Bonfire's) nose, but that he was lucky he hadn't done worse. This, in P speak, is probably the most sincere apology I could get at the time.

To try and keep this as short as possible, I'll summarize what happened next. I told Bonfire and Greenhouse about P because at that point the cat was basically out of the bag. They said they'd wished I'd told them sooner, and that they were a little uncomfortable being in the same house as "the lean, mean, stabbing machine" (- Bonfire) but that they were willing to help me manage him if I promised to tell them everything I knew about how he worked.

I did, and it's been years since then, and now P and I are, as stated before, closer than ever. I recently asked my partners whether or not they were still upset with me for not telling them, and they just said that they weren't entitled to my medical history and trauma (which, yeah, but he did break Bonfire's nose) and that they didn't care because, "hey, we basically got a free dog out of it" (- Bonfire), and "we made a promise to love you, including all the less-than-savory parts." (- Greenhouse).

Sweet, yes, but I think I might be TA because, um, P LITERALLY BROKE BONFIRE'S NOSE AND THREATENED TO KILL HIM? AND IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN PREVENTED IF I HAD TOLD THEM?

TL;DR: I didn't tell my partners about my headmate that's prone to violence and he did violence on them and I feel bad.

AITA?

(P says hi, by the way, and he also wants me to tell you that he isn't like this anymore and much prefers soft blankets and eating fruit to breaking his family's noses.)

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

[goginaporter]

lyrical analysis of love you forever

or, breaking down ricky's love (confession) for gina

we're a little under three months out from the series finale of high school musical: the musical: the series. I've spent those months freaking out over rina and appreciating the beautiful arc they got in s4 that closed out their story over the course of the series. there are a million special moments that rina has in s4 (I mean, a rain kiss? can I have this dance? a duet together about their commitment to each other despite uncertainty? we really got it all) but one definitely stands out among the rest. love you forever is ricky's declaration of love for gina that he sings to her at her press conference for her new movie that, as far as he knows, is about to send her across the world. this post is gonna be a line by line analysis of the lyrics, as well as talking about everything that brought them to that moment and that made it special. enjoy <33

I've been wishing on a falling star for too long

this line opens the song and is such a beautiful callback to when there was me and you, the song ricky all but serenades gina with in 1.06 (the lines it references: I thought you were my fairy tale / A dream when I'm not sleeping / A wish upon a star / That's coming true). wtwmay is a song that gabriella sings after troy's betrayal in hsm and when ricky sings this line, to me, it represents a callback to his past relationship with nini. he was holding on to nini and that relationship too tight, wishing on a falling star. as gabriella says, wishes on stars just "don't come true" and for ricky, this relationship ultimately ended in failure. however, as much as this line signifies the crash and burn nature of that relationship, it's also a reference to the start of his relationship with gina in that bunker room as he strummed on a guitar, in a similar fashion to love you forever, to these lyrics.

I've been running, I don't know what from

this line references the conversation that ricky had with ej in 4.05 when ej forces ricky to reckon with the fact that he runs away from those he loves when faced with hard realities and that this tendency hurts both those around him, but also hurts him. it's incredibly full circle when you pair this with the fact that ricky is singing the song on the guitar ej gave him after they sang speak out, where ej tells him that "you'll probably get more use outta this than me" (4.05). i think it's really cool that this line also references gina's similar character flaw of running when things get hard, which she also sings about in second chance (Maybe I'm safer when I'm on the run / No time to open up my heart / Maybe I'll hide behind my walls again / Instead of tearing them apart) (also important to note that second chance is non-digetic and ricky has never heard gina sing these lyrics). so fascinating that ricky and gina have the same habit of running, with ricky running back to things that are familiar and gina pushing forward to leave things in the past before they can hurt her.

But you and I've become a sacred kinda home

this is one of my favorite lines of the song, especially because this theme of finding a home is such a critical cornerstone for both ricky and gina's arcs throughout the show. ricky's home life in s1 turns on its head when he discovers that his parents are separating. pairing this with his breakup with nini nearly sends him into a spiral, but he finds a new home of sorts in the theater program, telling gina "it's just nice to have somewhere to go after school every day, y'know" (1.05), which she herself resonates with, affirming his feelings.

of course, at the beginning of s2, we find out that ricky and his dad are moving to an apartment after his mom moves out. this drastic shift, the loss of his childhood home, is again disorienting, and again paired with changes with nini, what with her moving to denver. in 2.02, he tells nini that she is his home, which is really interesting, placing that kind of pressure on her. but what's even more interesting is that he knows he's moving, knows from the beginning of 2.01, and yet nini does not find out about his new home until 2.03 on valentine's day, months later. this is juxtaposed to gina showing up to his apartment that same episode. it's especially special that ricky is placed in the same situation that gina typically faces, the unpacking and getting accustomed to a new space. it is those undertones that serve as the undercurrent for their conversation. the apartment is in disarray when gina arrives, and remains that way for much of the season. gina, however, is endeared by the messy environment of the apartment and jokes along with ricky to put him at ease. by the time we return to it in s4, it's (naturally) much more lived in, with clothes strewn about, pictures of gina, and aptly placed posters lining the wall of ricky's room.

as I mentioned earlier, ricky calls nini his home in s2. this line says that he and gina together have become a home of sorts for each other. singing this to gina is important for ricky, but it also speaks to the unpredictable nature of gina's childhood, where she moved from city to city, never staying in one place for more than a few months, which she tells ricky in 1.05. by the end of s1, we think that she has to move again, something that's harder for her now that she's made connections with the wildcats, namely with ricky. as we see in the flashback scene in 2.06, she tells ricky that she wouldn't quit on them if not for her move, that they would essentially remain close if she weren't leaving salt lake. of course, she doesn't leave and instead moves in with ashlyn. it's her first taste of stability that she can really remember, but as she tells carlos in 2.04, she feels out of place living in a house she doesn't own and with a family that isn't hers. these feelings culminate in gina wanting to leave, a subplot we see primarily in 2.05 and 2.06. after revealing to ashlyn what she said to ricky opening night of hsm, ashlyn sings home from beauty and the beast to gina, telling her that she has a home with ashlyn, not just physically, but within their friendship. there is so much symbolism in that one scene that we don't have time to get into but this moment definitely shifts gina's perception of what a home can look like. in s3, we learn that her mom is moving back to salt lake city where she'll be staying long-term to allow gina to complete her time at east high. in fact, it's in this very house that we get our first scene of rina in s4, with ricky sneaking into her window. one's room is a reflection of oneself, and ricky and gina are all over each other's rooms, both literally and figuratively, throughout the season. combining this with the connection between the two that only strengthens over the course of the season, it comes as no surprise that ricky sees his and gina's relationship as a sacred home.

I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love and I know it / No net, no fear, right here in this moment

my twitter account was littered with theories and thoughts and hopes for ricky's love confession to gina, but whether it was public or private, planned or spontaneous, the one thing that I knew I wanted was for ricky to say that he is in love with gina. so on august 9th when ricky got to the chorus of love you forever, tears started pooling in my eyes because the confession, which was already literally perfect, delivered my biggest wish. one of my favorite aspects of the song is how much it reflects their journey because these are all the words that ricky would tell gina in some big speech, evidenced by him practicing all throughout 4.07. but when it comes down to it, after references to moments between them and beautiful metaphors, it builds to him telling gina not only does he love her, but that he's in love with her. there's no doubt in his mind of this fact. the sky is blue, the sun shines, and ricky bowen loves gina porter. so much of ricky's love for nini was tied to fear, especially a fear of change. that his love for gina transcends fear, that he is confident in what he tells her both shows his growth in romantic relationships but also in how much gina has redefined what it means to love someone for him.

I've never been more sure of what I got, yeah / Cause this is so much more than puppy love, so

continuing with the theme of confidence, ricky tells gina that he's never been more sure of what he's got in their relationship. I know I'm bringing rini up a lot but that relationship is a perfect frame of reference for how much ricky has changed when it comes to love. both his singing of I think I kinda you know in 1.01 and his love confession to nini in 1.10, while genuine, are riddled with stuttering and uncertainty ("I think", "I don't know", etc.). when you compare the ricky of 1.01 and the ricky of 4.08 and how he attempts to use song to profess his love, the differences are stark, and that's the point. as he all but said in 3.08, everything he's known about love has been changed by gina and that is reflected in love you forever. I love the puppy love nod and think it's narratively important for so many reasons. for one, it's a reference to their first date, as well as to gina's childhood. in that vein, it seems to mirror what gina tells ricky in 4.02, that mack was a crush of her childhood. calling what they have "more than puppy love" also nods to their growth, not just over the course of the series, but even throughout the season. from dealing with scrutiny in the fallout of the documentary to gina's increasingly busy schedule to their temporary pause to gina nearly moving across the world, they've been faced with many problems, and while they didn't handle all of them perfectly, they handled them together and came out that much stronger.

I'll say it first, no matter what the cost / Here I am full heart, full stop / I love you

in 3.05, ricky talks to jet following the fallout of the real campers of shallow lake drama. he asks jet what he's running from and tells him that sometimes when feelings are hard to articulate, it helps to sing instead. with love you forever, we see ricky taking his own advice. I love that ricky is insistent that he tells gina "I love you" first, both because he wants to rectify mistakes from his last relationship, but also because gina says, in a talking head, that she doesn't want to be the first to say "I love you," (4.06) further cementing the connection that rina has. it also affirms that there is no doubt in either of their minds that they love each other and want to say it to each other. it's also important to note that ricky understands the risk of singing this song at this point in time. for all he knows, gina is about to board a plane that will be taking her to the other side of the world for six months. however, he sings this song, affirms his love for her, no matter the cost, because he just wants her to know. he loves her in salt lake, he loves her in new zealand, and he loves her forever. ricky sings that he is there with a full heart, full stop I love you. in an interview after s3's finale, tim federle, the showrunner, states that while nini will always have a small part of ricky's heart, gina has a way of making hearts race. this line, to me, symbolizes the notion that gina is his heart, that his love for her encompasses it. there's a beautiful analysis of ricky being gina's heart canonically that I think helps tie all of this together, establishing that gina is ricky's heart, just like he is hers.

of course, I would be remiss to not talk about the full stop of it all. as we see in a flashback in 4.06, ricky opens up to gina in their first meeting about how he struggled saying I love you to nini, his ex. after hearing this, gina presents him with a possibility you can tell he's never considered: "maybe you just don't love her, full stop." ricky stutters in response, but doesn't fully negate gina's statement, in fact telling her that he's "kinda" planning on telling nini through song later that night outside her window (ironic that this plan doesn't pan out for him twice in the show, both here and in 2.03). that he brings up this notion of full stop, where there's no room for doubt, in his confession for gina further proves how deep and real and true their love is for each other. super small thing before I move on but I love how "I love you" gets its own special moment of pause in the song to fully communicate the gravity of such a statement.

I never knew that I could feel so sure and so strong /How can three old words feel so brand new?

Again, this idea of being sure comes up again in this second verse/buildup to the chorus. ricky has done the love confession before. he's been in love before. but again, with gina, it's different. it's deeper, more strong, more secure. and so when he says these words, in a situation that mirrors his audition for hsm, of course it feels different. in that auditon, he was singing nini's words back to her. love you forever, in contrast, is all ricky. those three words do feel new because now he's singing them to gina and for gina, where previously he sang them for himself. also a really cool note about the parallels between ricky's audition and love you forever is that tim federle released the initial script for love you forever, and one of the descriptions writes that ricky "launches into the audition of a lifetime." this song, this confession, is the start of his forever with gina. of course these words feel new.

Mm, so rare, so real right here in this moment / And I'm starin' at the only thing I want, so

I tear up hearing ricky say that the love that he has for gina is both rare and real. both ricky and gina, at different points throughout the show, cast doubt on love. ricky says in a talking head in 1.01 that love is dead (fun fact: ricky is wearing the same denim jacket from that talking head during love you forever teehee). gina, in the 4.06 flashback, calls love lame. their faith in love ebbs and flows throughout the show, but once they are together, there's no question. it's why ricky encourages the seblos reconciliation in 4.06 or why gina tells jet to confess his feelings for kourtney in 4.08. if they've found this beautiful love in each other, where they got a second chance on love in every sense of the words, why wouldn't they want that for everyone else, for the people that they love?

the second half of this lyric, of ricky "staring at the only thing he wants," is my absolute favorite line of love you forever. ricky's eyes are naturally drawn to gina in nearly every episode of the show, whether she's looking at him or not, whether they're speaking or not. even before he recognized those feelings in himself, we could see it because she was always the apple of his eye. this rings especially true during love you forever, where ricky does not take his eyes off of gina the entire song, except when miss jenn turns the lights on. gina is the center of his universe and who he has been drawn to since she entered his life. there was a tweet after s4 aired that stated that ricky looks at gina as though he's falling deeper in love with her every time and this line captures that.

I wanna finish what we started in the stairwell where we met

the bridge opens with this line and it's so fitting. to suggest that committing to loving each other forever is finishing what they started when they had that first conversation in the stairwell is so insane and will always make me spiral when I think about it. this line all but confirms that ricky and gina began to fall for each other in that moment. that their conversation in the stairwell is what catalyzed their respective character arcs also all but confirms that they're soulmates, that there was an invisible string that connected them, inexplicably tying their fates together forever.

I wanna live like I have never even heard the word regret

both ricky and gina have instances that they look back on and wish they had done things differently. gina says so explicitly in 2.05 when speaking to kourtney. she alludes to her goodbye to ricky after hsm's opening night, stating that it was something she wishes she could take back. in 3.06, ricky tells jet that he wishes that he didn't let color war gina slip through his fingers, suggesting that he would've done things differently if he were more cognizant of his feelings for her. ricky never wants to feel like that again, that he's missed his chance with gina due to fear. he wholeheartedly embraces his love for her because he knows what it was like to live without it and doesn't want to live in a world where gina isn't his reality.

I wanna scream what's in my heart and I won't ever take it back

ricky and ej's duet in 4.05 is about speaking your truth and speaking even when it's hard. the song even has a line about "screaming out." where in speak out, screaming out solicits no sound, ricky singing this line in love you forever is him being able to vocalize the feelings in his heart. he also commits to never taking these words back. his feelings for gina are eternal and everlasting. this is important for gina to hear because words have always been unreliable to her. people that she cares about, whether her mom or jamie or even e.j., have made verbal commitments to her at one point or another, and each one of them has later reneged on that commitment, whether intentionally or not. ricky can say these words, can say "I love you" to gina, because he's been saying it through his actions the entire show. gina doesn't always trust words, but she trusts actions. ricky has more than proven his love for her, and it's this continued declaration through his works that allows these words to ring true for her.

'Cause I love you feels a lot like high school and forever after that

I made this observation a couple weeks ago but this line is so fascinating. when the season first dropped and I heard the line, I was a tad confused. what does it mean for love to feel like high school? I was listening to the hsm3 soundtrack when it all clicked for me. in high school musical, the final song they sing in hsm3, the last line is "I want the rest of my life to feel just like a / High school musical" with this line, ricky is basically saying that he will love gina for the rest of his life. throwing in a hsm reference is also incredibly fitting given that they've just completed the first night of their run as troyella, further cementing their legacy as the troyella of the show. i love that, even when the bridge is repeated, ricky and gina are the only ones to sing these lines. when the bridge is sung for the third and final time, ricky and gina are now together on stage singing the words "I"m in love, I'm in love, I'm in love" to each other in between the lines of the bridge. the song closes with ricky singing "I love you feels a lot like high school" with gina singing "and forever after that." I love this ending for two reasons: ending the song with rina singing together re-emphasizes that they're in love, and in love together (for the first time), as tim mentions in an interview. I also love it because even as the wildcats join to sing the bridge near the end of the song, ricky and gina are the only people to sing the lines "I'm in love x3" and "I love you feels a lot like high school." even though their friends step in to sing some lines, ultimately, the song is a love song for gina, about gina, and that's why it ends with her. as tim (love how much I'm referencing him) mentioned in an interview, rina is the beating heart of the romance of the show, and their friends coming in to sing along to ricky's love song for gina fully solidifies this.

#hsmtmts #ricky x gina #gina porter #ricky bowen #rina #rina hsmtmts #gina x ricky #my loves #gina porter x ricky bowen #hsmtmts spoilers #love you forever #lyric analysis #high school musical the musical the series #wow this got so long #like crazy long #i wasn't expecting it to get this long #but i'm not surprised #given that i could talk about rina for hours #i hope at least one person reads this #cause it took forever LMAO

[roosterforme]

A Love You Don't Find Everyday Part 2 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Bradley just wants a little reassurance from you, and no matter what he does, he's not getting it. 

Warnings: Fluff, angst, swearing and smut

Length: 3800 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots! Check my masterlist in my profile for the reading order!

Bradley was kissing along your neck, rubbing his nose against your hair and inhaling your sweet scent. 

"Roo, I'm working." 

Of course you were working. It was the only thing you have been doing lately. You were sitting at the dining room table, eating a room temperature hot pocket and answering emails.

"I think you should take a break...with me."

Instead of responding, you just hummed and continued typing away on your computer. It was actually cruel, the way you had come home late from work, undressed right in front of him, taken a quick shower, and changed into his UVA shirt. All without acknowledging him at all.

"Sweetheart, come on, it's late. Let's go to bed."

"Bradley. I have a lot to get done," you mumbled, refreshing your browser and revealing a bunch of new emails. 

"You can pick up again tomorrow," he whispered, squeezing your waist through the cotton fabric. "I've been thinking about you sitting on my face all day. Let me make you cum on my mustache, Baby Girl."

You sighed and looked up at him. "Not tonight, okay?"

He swallowed hard. "Sure." He turned and went to the bathroom to get himself ready for bed, trying to keep the hurt expression from his face. 

If you didn't want to spend time with him in bed, there was no way he was going to get you to have a conversation about the wedding either. Bradley leaned against the bathroom vanity and examined his face in the mirror. He looked older than his thirty-six years at the moment. He also looked miserable. He brushed his teeth and fell asleep alone in the king sized bed. 

-----------------------------

You were trying your best to keep yourself organized, but the wall in your office was starting to look solid yellow from all of the post-it notes you had hanging there. And now you couldn't locate the one you needed. "Shit," you muttered, trying to determine whether or not it had fallen behind your file cabinet. 

The sound of your growling stomach was distracting you, so you started eating your lunch while you searched for the note. You groaned at the sound of knocking on your door. If your team scheduled one more surprise meeting for this week, you were going to scream. 

"Come in!" you called, still trying to pull your file cabinet away from the wall.

"What are you doing, Baby Girl?"

"Roo!" you gasped, rushing around your deck to give him a hug. 

He squeezed you tight, and you buried your nose in his uniform shirt. He smelled good, and now you just wanted to go home and snuggle with him.

"You okay?" he asked you, kissing the top of your head. 

"Mmhmm. Just tired. And I have a meeting that doesn't even start until five, so I have no idea when I'll be home later."

He sighed deeply. "So you want to go to the movies a different night?"

Shit, shit, shit. That was probably listed in your personal calendar somewhere, but you hadn't checked. "I can skip the meeting," you told him, looking up into his brown eyes. "I can skip it."

He just shook his head. "No, we can go another night. It's fine." 

But he sounded annoyed. You needed to figure out a way to make this better. "Listen. I'm almost maxed out with my days off. I really need to start using some of them so I don't lose them before the end of the year. We can both take a day off and do something fun."

His lips twitched as he looked at you before he said, "Won't you need the days off for the honeymoon?" Then he cautiously added, "You said we could get married this year."

Your mind was overworked enough already without adding wedding planning to the agenda. "Yeah, I mean, as long as we can find a venue that can accommodate us and everything else."

"You ready to start looking at venues, then?" he asked hopefully.

"Roo, the next couple weeks are not going to be a good time for me to do that."

He pressed his lips together. "It's already mid-September. I was hoping to get a jump on this last month."

You squeezed him and said, "We'll figure it out." 

He rubbed your back and placed a gentle kiss to your forehead. "Yeah... we'll figure it out. I love you," he told you before he left. And as soon as he was gone, you realized he could have helped you move the file cabinet.

-------------------------------

Bradley was so lonely with you constantly working late. He took Tramp on so many long walks, the poor dog was exhausted. He also helped the elderly neighbors with their yard work, and he played piano by himself. And he barely ever saw you before seven o'clock. 

The worst part for him was that he was the only one initiating intimacy. Not just sex, but anything. You were either tired or working or thinking about working. Last night when he started kissing you in bed and running his fingers along your neck, you moaned, so he thought that was a green light. But then you literally yawned against his mouth, and told him you were too tired. The night before that, you were sitting up in the kitchen on your computer until who knows what time. You told him you would be in to say goodnight, but you weren't.

It was short-term. He knew that. And he knew your work was important. It was literally paramount to his own safety whenever he flew his F/A-18. But he fucking missed you. He missed you whining about how you needed him to get you off during the cookout. He missed shower sex. He'd give anything for you to call him Daddy right now. 

Fuck. Just thinking about it was making him hard, but you probably wouldn't be home for hours. So he ran his own hand along his cock. Again. He jerked off like he did before you and he were dating: to the mental image of your legs in a short skirt, to the thought of him sliding his hands underneath said skirt. 

He came easily, but he didn't actually feel any relief.

--------------------------------------

Bradley was trying to be patient, but it was supposed to be Hard Deck night, and you were currently pacing around the kitchen on the phone with Sonya from your lab.

"Did you try saving it first and then opening it in a different format?" you asked, walking back around the island. "Hmmm. I'm not sure. Email it to me, and I'll try to open it."

Bradley watched you open your laptop as you put your phone on speaker. You glanced over at him when he twirled his keys around his finger, and you winced. Then you held up one finger in his direction, and he took Tramp out back.

You'd been like this for the past two weeks, and his patience was starting to wear thin. Every day you came home exhausted, and unfortunately he had been making dinner most nights. Which meant it never tasted very good. He was craving one of your fancy homemade meals, but he didn't want to ask you to make one for him. You were so busy at work as it was. 

Bradley knew how you were. Work was important to you. And you were important to him. So he would just have to wait it out.

"Sorry!" you said, poking your head out through the sliding glass door. "Sonya and I got it sorted, so we can go out now, Roo."

"Yeah, okay," he replied, tossing the ball one more time for Tramp. 

When he was alone with you in the Bronco, everything was perfect. You queued up one of his favorite playlists and laced your fingers through his. You sang along badly to the song which always made him smile, and he played with your ring. 

"Did you have a chance to look at any of the wedding vendors on that list I gave you?" he asked softly as he pulled into the parking lot. 

You shot him an apologetic look. "Not yet, but I'll look at all of them tomorrow. I promise."

Bradley just grunted as he shifted into park. He climbed out and helped you out of your door. "Please look at them," he said, grasping your chin and guiding your face up until you would meet his eyes. "It's important to me."

"I will," you whispered as you leaned up to kiss him. "It's important to me too. I just have got to get past all of this shit at work."

Bradley kissed you harder and you wound your arms around his neck. He let you soothe his nerves with your soft lips and your little noises. It would be okay.

------------------------------

As soon as you and Bradley were inside the bar, Phoenix had a beer in your hand. "Unless you're pregnant. Are you pregnant?" she asked, about to pull the drink back out of your grasp. Bradley was already on his way over to the pool table.

"No!" you said, surprised. "What the hell, Phoenix? Do I look fatter or something?" you asked, looking down the front of your body. If anything, you thought you might have lost a little weight, because you kept forgetting to eat when you were at work. You really needed to start setting reminder alarms in your phone. 

"No, but we haven't seen you in like two and a half weeks," she replied, pushing the beer in your hand closer to your lips. "We started making up conspiracy theories for fun. I thought maybe you were home with morning sickness. Bagman said you probably moved out, and Bradley was just pretending to hold it together. Fanboy assumed you went to the Comics convention in Philadelphia without inviting him, and that's why we haven't heard from you."

You pressed your lips together, simultaneously trying not to laugh or cry. "I'm sorry. I have been so busy with work. My boss is up for a promotion and I really want one by next year as well."

Phoenix eyed you closely before asking, "How are the wedding plans coming along?"

You glanced past her to see your fiancé taking a shot at the pool table. As much as you promised him you would start looking at venues and photographers and florists, you found you just didn't really want the added stress. You knew Bradley would be okay with just doing something simple in Maryland, if you told him that's what you wanted. You also thought you could get him to agree to an elopement if you really pushed him. But you just didn't know what you wanted, and you didn't have the energy or time to sit and think about any of it right now.

"Um, we haven't really started," you told Phoenix while you played with the label on your beer. 

She leaned in a little closer until you met her eyes. "Well, you should start," she told you, all hints of joking gone. It felt like a warning. 

"Yeah," you agreed. "I know that."

"He will do whatever you tell him you want to do, but please, tell him something." You had never heard her use this tone of voice before. 

You swallowed down a sip of your beer. "Did he say something to you?" you asked softly. 

"Yes."

"What did he say?" you asked, chewing on your lip.

But Phoenix just shook her head. "I don't want to tell you." Then she walked away, leaving you alone and upset.  

You tried your best to blend in with everyone. You had missed them. It wasn't like you hadn't. But now you felt like you were letting Bradley down, and you still had almost two weeks left of deadlines for work. But if he was talking to his best friend about you, and Phoenix wouldn't tell you what was said, that was bad.

You wrapped your arms around Bradley from behind and he chuckled. "Come here," he told you, pulling you into a hug. You pulled him down for a kiss before agreeing to play some pool. You saw Nat eyeing both of you quietly as she sipped her drink. You would do better. You would make time to talk about wedding stuff.

And you'd give Bradley a blowjob later. That would probably make both of you feel better. It had been a few days.

---------------------------------

Bradley liked this a lot. It felt really good to be enjoying your mouth instead of his own hand. As soon as you both got home, you started undoing his jeans. 

"Right here?" he asked you softly, in the dark entryway. 

"Right here," you confirmed, dropping down to your knees. He had honestly been hoping to have sex with you, but this felt so good, he didn't want to stop you now. 

You sucked on him so well, and when you released his dick in favor of gently teasing his balls with your mouth, he groaned. "You know I love that."

"Mmm," you hummed, and he wrapped his fingers in your hair. "I know what else you like," you whispered, before taking his cock in your mouth again and getting sloppy. 

Yep. You knew exactly what he liked. 

Once he was sated and you were standing and kissing his neck, he said, "Why don't you go lay in bed? I'll get you off with my mouth and fingers, Sweetheart."

You ran your nose across his Adam's apple but shook your head. "I'm going to get a little work done before bed, okay?"

Bradley felt like he had been slapped in the face. You just got him off, and then turned him down. He felt like something cheap. Or like a chore you had to do. Like something less desirable than work. He felt like nothing more than an obligation as he watched you flip on the light and sit at the kitchen island with your computer. 

"I'm going to bed," he told you and headed down the hallway. He never thought you could possibly make him feel badly about himself. You. You were the one who always made him feel wanted and important. He had never imagined he could be so happy with someone. You stood up for him. You nursed him back to health. You were his teammate.

But right now he felt like he was going to cry. And it's not like he could talk to anyone about this. That would be mortifying. His wife-to-be would rather work at midnight than let him go down on her. He'd already talked Nat's ear off about the fact that you wouldn't commit to any wedding plans. You wouldn't even tell him where you wanted to get married. He couldn't get one detail out of you. He named three songs he thought you could use for a first dance together, and you just told him you would think about it. 

You kept telling him you would think about things, but you weren't getting back to him with any information. He was starting to get terrified that he would end up getting deployed again and have to leave you for months without even a wedding date to look forward to. 

He sat on the edge of the bed with his face in his hands. The urge to talk to his mom was so strong right now, he actually did start to cry. 

-----------------------------

You joined Bradley in bed after he was already asleep, and you were awake before he was the next morning. You dressed in your last clean uniform and drank a mug of coffee. You really needed to make sure you did laundry tonight. You scowled at the coffee and drank it as quickly as you could. Somehow Bradley had become better than you at making your coffee the way you liked it. You smiled for a minute as you remembered how weird he thought your french press was when you first moved in with him. 

It was still early, and you didn't want to wake him, so you left him a note on the counter. 

Roo, I love you. Fly safely. 

Then you grabbed your bag and left. Today you would find out if you had to go to Annapolis at the beginning of October with your team to help present your research. You were practically vibrating with excitement. 

You had promised Bradley you would look at wedding stuff today. And you would. Probably while you ate lunch. But you just didn't see how the two of you would possibly have enough time to plan everything and get married this year. September was almost done now, and you didn't know how hard it would be to find a date that was available somewhere. 

If you had to talk him into next year, you would. It would be fine. 

So you got to work right away, and everyone ended up working through lunch. You were planning on taking a break soon, and then you'd text Bradley and see how his day was going. And during your break, you would scroll through some wedding venues and see if any of the locations appealed to you. 

"We're going to Annapolis," Bickel announced from the lab doorway. 

"Are you serious?" you asked him, slowly standing and trying to see if he was joking. 

"I'm serious," he said with a smile as the lab erupted in cheers. It was hard for you to imagine that just a few months ago, you thought you might have to take a leave of absence or switch locations to avoid having to work with Josh. Now you would be presenting your work on a national scale in your home state. 

You took your phone out of your pocket to text Bradley, but Bickel was already loudly telling everyone to join him tomorrow night for dinner and drinks on him. You had rescheduled tomorrow night to be movie night with Bradley. He already bought tickets. You were going to have to cancel on him a second time. And you were going to have to tell him you'd be in Annapolis for a week next month. 

You were also probably going to have to tell him there was no way the two of you were going to be able to get married this year. 

--------------------------------

"I'm so sorry, Bradley. Can you take Jake or Nat to the movies with you instead?" you asked him.

"Sure," he answered, not even looking at you as he poured himself a bowl of cereal for dinner. 

"Great. And um... well... I'll be gone for a week next month. But it's good! Because I get to present my work in Annapolis."

He turned to look at you and nodded. "I'm really proud of you," he told you quietly. And he was. You had worked hard, and you had earned this. 

"Thanks, Roo," you said, wrapping your arms around his waist. "You've made everything so much easier for me. And in a few weeks, we can really start to get back to normal, you know?"

He swallowed hard, letting his hands come to rest on your hips. He hadn't touched you like this in a few days, and he had missed it so much, it was almost painful now. "That sounds nice."

"I need to do laundry and make sure I have something to wear to dinner tomorrow night," you said, pulling out of his arms and heading to the bedroom.

Bradley just wanted to feel close to you again, so he followed you and sat on the edge of the bed while you perused your dresses. 

"What about this one?" you asked, holding up your black wrap dress. 

"Bronco sex," he said, and you started to laugh. "Reminds me of Bronco sex."

"Yeah... me too," you told him, hanging it up again. "Better not wear it to a work dinner. I'd be thinking about you the whole time."

He rubbed his hand across his face. "Would that be such a bad thing?"

"No. Just hard to focus. How about this dress?" you asked, holding up the blue one you wore when you picked him up at the docks a few deployments ago. 

"Sex against the inside of the front door," he whispered. But you were already pulling out a sweater to wear over it.

"I know you like this one," you said, holding it up in front of your body for him to see. 

"Loved it since the first time you wore it, Baby Girl."

You took a deep breath. "I guess I should start thinking about what kind of wedding dress I want."

Bradley immediately jumped up from the bed. "Yes! Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, but you were already shaking your head.

"I'm not supposed to talk about that with you!"

His heart sank again, but he supposed you were correct about that detail. "You want to call your mom and talk to her about it?" he asked. 

"Roo, it's almost midnight on the east coast. I'll worry about it later."

He didn't want you to worry about your wedding dress. He wanted you to be excited about it.

"Let's go watch a show," you told him, headed for the living room. A few minutes later, Bradley was the big spoon to your little spoon. You put on a show he didn't even like very much, but he was too embarrassed to ask you to switch it to Real Housewives of Atlanta, so he just held you close. 

Then he started to kiss your neck, working his lips and his mustache next to your ear. "Roo," you whispered, and that tone of your voice was like a shot of adrenaline through his body. 

"Sweetheart," he whispered, already growing hard for you. "Can we get in bed?"

You sighed. "I'm too tired tonight." So he stopped kissing you and just held you. Soon your breathing evened out, and he could tell you were asleep. So he watched the end of the show by himself, and then he scooped you up and carried you to bed. He tried to tuck you in gently, but you woke up. Now he was terrified that you were going to go back to the kitchen with your computer instead of at least sleeping next to him.

"I'm sorry I'm so tired," you told him before you yawned. Even the way you were arching your back as you stretched had him aching for you. When you pulled your shirt and bra off and replaced them with his UVA tee, his mouth went dry.

"I hate to say this, but... can we schedule some sex into your calendar?" Bradley asked you.

You laughed. "We can have sex this weekend."

"Last weekend, you worked all weekend. Same as the weekend before that."

"Well, I won't this weekend, okay?"

He just nodded as you headed to the bathroom.

------------------------------------

Poor Roo! Come on Baby Girl, he just wants you to plan the wedding!

Part 3

@hotch-meeeeeuppppp

@swthxrry

@chassy21

@yaboid19

@solacestyles

@avoirlecoupdefoudre

@daisyhollyxox

@callsigndiamond

@harper1666

@throwinsauce

@beebslebobs

@awesomebooklover17

@wintercap89

@whosyourgnomie4

@rosesinmars

@blog-name6996

@bcon24

@wishfulwithwine

@backinwonderl4nd

@monte-carlando

@tetragonia

@gingerbreadandpaper

@emptyloverofmine

@apparently-sunshine

@chaoticassidy

@missmirandafe

@topgunbb

@changlingkhat

@sugarcoated-lame

@callsign-jupiter

@avada-kedavra-bitch-187

@katiebby04

@marantha

@averyhotchner

@abaker74

@andycanbeemotional

@heli991113

@k-k0129

@noz4a2

@tallyovie

@shanimallina87

@starlightstories

@teddyluvs2sing

@little-wiseone

@ccbb2222

@lilyevanswhore

@o-the-o-grim-o-reaper-o

@high-bi-imgonnacry

@xoxabs88xox

#bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #rooster x you #rooster fanfic #rooster x female reader #rooster x reader #top gun fanfiction #bradley bradshaw fic #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #bradley bradshaw imagine #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw x female reader #rooster bradshaw x female reader

[teejaystumbles]

Against all odds (part 7)

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6

This is all I've got so far but I figured I'd let you have it and hopefully I'll have more soon :3

**

Hob works at a news agency. As someone with hundreds of years of experiencing political and societal change he has a keen eye for news-worthy happenings. Often he can predict very well which events are important, which will have historical influence or be the talk of the nation for a long time. Hob edits his colleague’s articles and reports, chooses which ones are worthy of printing and which aren’t, tries to remove or at least mitigate the xenophobia and fearmongering in what he hopes are the last days of the Cold War. People don’t need fear to grow, they need hope. He thinks he’ll stop doing this soon, though. His name - Robert Goulding at the moment - pops up in too many places and he doesn’t like being recognizable for more than a few decades. He takes care to not become chief editor and stay out of the limelight but he thinks he’ll move on soon. Maybe he’ll take a break and live off his stock profits. Find a quiet place for him and his stranger, somewhere in the countryside, with a garden…

Hob shakes himself out of his fantasy and laughs at himself. Wishful thinking will hardly be of any use. He’s been wishing and hoping for more time with his stranger for so many centuries. Now it finally seems like he might get lucky enough to have regular contact, via journal entries, and maybe even visits. That is enough. He shouldn’t be greedy.

With a sigh and a silent curse that he stopped smoking he goes to finish his work so he can get home and write an answer to his friend.

In the evening Hob pours himself a whiskey and sits down at his desk, open journal before him. He looks over to his bed. His stranger had sat here last night, watching him. Hob swallows reflexively and takes another sip of his drink, trying to not let his thoughts go down a slippery, horny slope before he starts writing.

June 15th, 1989

Dear friend,

I am glad you felt you could come and visit me and that you feel safe in my presence. I consider it an honour and I want to assure you that I do not mind in the least if you stop by whenever you feel like it. I trust you. Feel free to come here anytime, no matter if I'm awake or not, or if I’m even here. If my place can be a retreat for you from your everyday worries or workplace (as I assume you are busy doing something somewhere), I would be very happy. Leave your shoes off the sofa, that’s all I ask. ;-)

But seriously, my home is your home. I mean it. I look forward to seeing you again as well.

Reading about your ordeal was horrible. I am so sorry this happened to you and that I didn’t hear anything about it. I would have moved everything between Heaven and Earth to free you, my friend, please believe me. You say the ones responsible have been punished but I cannot stop myself from imagining visiting vengeance upon them for your sake. To imprison you someone, anyone, for such a long period of time, in the conditions that you described, is barbaric and the rage I feel at the mere thought is nearly blinding.

I am deeply sorry for your loss and for all you had to endure. I would give you anything in my power to make you feel safe, dear stranger. If you ever need my help, please call me. I don’t know if you had any means to call for help, you probably didn’t, but please - should you ever be in any trouble or danger or in need of help, I urge you to call on me! I will come and help you the best I can, I will not allow you to be trapped ever again. After all, what are friends for, if not for helping one another?

Your problems with closed spaces and strangers are completely understandable and I would never hold it against you if you never want to meet inside a building again. I hope we’ll be able to find a suitable replacement for the old haunt, at least until you feel more at ease again. These things take time, at least for humans, and although I would not dare to insinuate that you are not more robust than the average human and probably not subject to the same physical and mental limits I’d wager a guess that you will need time to heal, my friend. I sincerely ask you to take that time. You strike me as the type to jump headfirst back into work and duty after getting free and that is not recommended, no matter what or how powerful you are. You were imprisoned for 80 years and subjected to torture, you cannot expect to be the same after that. No one should expect you to be the same, to not be changed by it or in need of healing and time to recuperate. 

I am only human but in my long life I have met a few other immortal beings, not all of them human but all of them with very similar needs and wants. I know you’re probably bristling right now because I dare to suggest you might be unfit for whatever it is you do but I hope you believe me when I tell you this only because I care for you - you need a break. Please, stranger, promise me you’ll take care of yourself, if you cannot let others do that for you. I would be happy to help in any way I can. Visit me at your leisure, I promise I will never turn you away, or look down on you for showing weakness. You have seen me at my lowest and I have always trusted you to still respect me after that. Just like that, I would never think any less of you for any of this.

I’ll be happy to help you learn more about humanity, get to know humans again. I am honoured that you have elevated me in your mind to something else but I am as human as they come. So if you like me, you can like other humans as well, right?

I will think of a nice place to meet and let you know as soon as I’ve decided. Remember, in the meantime this place is always open to you. Even including watching me sleep. ;-P

Stay safe,

Your friend Hob

Hob puts down the pen and skims over his lines. Yes, that’s not too forward but inviting enough to let his stranger feel safe and welcome. It’s a bit daring, calling his stranger in need of a break, but it’s the right thing to say and offer.

He nods, downs his whiskey and gets ready for bed.

#stay tuned for another dream😘 #dreamling #the sandman fanfiction #1989 au #teejay writes

[nyerus]

Overview of TGCF Versions

Due to recent(ish) events, I thought it would be good to make another post cataloguing all the different "versions" of TGCF, for newcomers and old fans alike! I'll also be going over some FAQs that I've seen or been asked so this post can serve as a decent info thread.

For simplicity's sake, first think of there being two "main" version of TGCF:

The Original -- what all the translations are based on, as well as the manhua and donghua.

The Revised -- what was released in print last year in China (only), and what was recently updated on JJWXC. The audio drama is adapting this

The original webnovel was itself not "censored." By that I mean, it contained everything MXTX originally wrote including kisses, swearing, innuendo, etc. MXTX did self-censor to avoid Real Censorship (hence the lack of NSFW scenes we may have gotten like in her previous novels), but that's a whole different thing. For all intents and purposes, consider the original version and (most of) its translations as being uncensored.

The revised version was first publicly released as a print novel in China. As such, it was actually censored. While "Hualian" is still there, and things are alluded to, it's a lot more vague. Kisses and a lot of other things were cut, including certain dialogue tidbits that perhaps were deemed a bit too obvious. (Plus a lot of Feng Xin and Qi Rong's cursing was removed lmao.)

HOWEVER, shortly after the print release, the audio drama started adapting the uncensored revised version. So we all knew there was an uncensored revised version somewhere in existence. It wasn't until the end of last month that we actually saw it! TGCF was available again on JJWXC after years of being "temporarily locked" to comply with regulations. (Though it was possible it was locked for other reasons. We will never fully know!) Not only was it finally unlocked, but it was actually updated to the uncensored revised version!

F.A.Q.s

1.) Why did MXTX make a revised version anyway? MXTX has mentioned before that she was not entirely satisfied with the original version of TGCF. Because she wrote and released each chapter in a serialized manner, with frequent (possibly daily?) updates, it doesn't surprise me that it didn't turn out exactly how she wanted. Now that she has the opportunity to sit down with it and go over everything on her own time, she's able to get it closer to what she wanted. In short: she's just really passionate about this story!

2.) Is there and English translation, or will there be? What about other languages? Officially, not yet. We don't know if there ever will be, as MXTX would have to re-negotiate the rights with publishers for translations, and at this time, we don't know if that'll happen. Unofficially, there are a few options: a. ClearNoodle has done some fan-translations you should check out here! b. By purchasing the webnovel on JJWXC now, you can MTL (machine translate) the novel. If you've seen screenshots in English floating around that aren't part of the fan-translations above, this is probably the source.

3.) What is JJWXC and how do I use it/purchase TGCF on it? JJWXC is the webnovel publishing site where TGCF was originally released. It hosts a giant array of C-novels, including most other danmei that you may have heard about. SV and MDZS were indeed also on JJWXC, but are currently (still) locked. To purchase TGCF (or any other novel) on JJWXC, cangji.net has an excellent guide and list of other helpful links to get you all set up. Please do check it out! Additionally, buying on JJWXC seems to be the most direct way to support authors. You can also throw bonus tips at them!

4.) How much has really changed in the revised version? A fair bit. Mostly, the changes are to do with plot structure, minor characters, overall flow, and so on. It's still essentially the same story, but in a way that feels fresh. Hualian in particular have exactly the same dynamic as before. MXTX added extra scenes between them, including very sweet and tender domestic stuff haha! There's also a few new lines of spicier dialogue to go along with some of the scenes that already existed in the original.

5.) So what is considered canonical? Both, in a way. MXTX has stated that she's happy if fans can enjoy both at once, and that we're free to pick-and-choose as we wish. Personally, while there are many things I prefer from the original, the revised version is something closer to MXTX's true vision for the novel. So I feel that holds a little bit of weight there, too.

6.) Will the manhua/donghua be adapting any of the newly revised content? So far that seems unlikely. The revised version facelifts a lot from the early parts of the story, which is stuff these adaptations have already covered. It would be hard to change things down the line now. At most they could add some of the extra dialogue or such, but we'll see if that's the case. For now, we simply don't know and shouldn't count on it. If you'd still like an adaptation of the revised, please absolutely check out the audio drama! It's easily become my personal fave adaptation of the story, and is made by a small but very passionate team who are close to MXTX. Thus, it's quite faithful and does the source material such justice! <3

#tgcf #tian guan ci fu #hob #heaven official's blessing #this post was supposed to be out WEEKS ago but such is life lol #nyerus.txt #guide

[don-dake]

So I've been playing around with Cāngjié…

And I thought a post like this (similar to a post on Zhùyīn done by linghxr) may be of interest to some.

Edited: 10 Sep 2023

This post has gotten a little popular lately and on scrutinizing my own post again, I've come to the conclusion that I had made some mistakes in my given character examples.

Amended now. Namely, 「唔」 and 「龍」 have now been swapped over in the examples.

「唔」 is really the “3-parts”, and 「龍」 is indeed a “2-parts” character! Amendments are reflected in orange.

What (and who) is Cāngjié?

For those who may not know, Cāngjié is another way to input 漢字/汉字 (Hànzì — Chinese characters). It is way less popular than Pinyin (or even Zhuyin) but it still has its fans, and has a few advantages over the other two.

Cāngjié is also the name of the mythical figure in Chinese legend who is said to have been the inventor of 漢字/汉字, for which Cāngjié (the input system) was named after.

Would I recommend it?

Yes, if you think you have already acquired a good (enough) understanding of 漢字/汉字, and/or just like a new challenge.

(TL;DR at the end)

Why am I learning Cāngjié (and why you may like to, too)?

1. Mostly for fun.

Have long been intrigued by both Cāngjié and Zhùyīn, and since I finally mustered up the courage to tackle Zhùyīn not too long ago, I thought I'd finally give Cāngjié a try.

While learning Cāngjié does require more effort than learning Pinyin or Zhuyin, it can also be really fun! Inputting 漢字/汉字 with the Cāngjié method is almost like doing a jigsaw puzzle.

The euphoria derived from figuring out and piecing together the radicals that make up a word is something that learning Jyutping (Cantonese equivalent of Pinyin), Pinyin or Zhuyin can't quite match.

And while I know I'll never be as adept with Cāngjié — my knowledge of 漢字/汉字 is nowhere near good enough to ever use Cāngji�� efficiently — as I do Jyutping or Pinyin (or to some extent, Zhuyin), it'll still be fun to use Cāngjié every once in a while!

2. Helps with thinking and typing in Chinese.

The upshot of relying too much on using Jyutping/Pinyin/Zhuyin is, I'd tend to think in Roman letters or ㄅㄆㄇㄈ before I'd even think about the actual 漢字/汉字.

But with Cāngjié, because it's based on knowing radicals and joining them together to form actual characters, it'll encourage thinking of 漢字/汉字 first, so I think that would help some with 漢字/汉字 memory retention.

Now you may be thinking, why not just you know, practise actually writing then? That is the tried and proven method to better remember 漢字/汉字 after all?

Yes, of course I can do that — and am doing so occasionally — but we live in a digital age now, and the probability and opportunity to type things out is much higher than actually writing stuff by hand.

The idea here is, more looking to think of and envision characters fully in my head, and trying to lessen over-reliance on Jyutping/Pinyin/Zhuyin.

And this is where I find Cāngjié can be useful, which leads to my next point…

3. Haunted by “What if” scenario.

What if there comes a day (however improbable) where I'm presented with only a Cāngjié keyboard to use for typing Chinese? It has happened with Zhùyīn for me!

That means, no Pinyin or Zhuyin keyboards, no Handwriting tools/touchscreens to write with fingers/mouse, no speech-to-text, and no option to copy-and-paste characters from somewhere else either! What then?

4. Able to type without knowing pronunciation, and with more accuracy.

Cāngjié is shape-based. Unlike Jyutping/Pinyin/Zhuyin, where you have to know what a character sounds like before you can type it out, with Cāngjié, you can type out (again assuming no Handwriting or other tools available) characters without needing to know how to pronounce them at all.

With shape-based typing, you'd also get more accurate hits in the first few 漢字/汉字 that show up, versus sound-based methods like Pinyin where for e.g., typing out “wan” will get you a whole list under the same sound and you may have to scroll through a whole lot to get the exact “wan” you need.

You can also type both Traditional and Simplified characters without having to toggle something or switch keyboards.

So how does one begin learning Cāngjié?

Install a Cāngjié keyboard.

Duh…but of course! Heh! Gboard offers one, banded under Cantonese language input (Android user here, don't know about iPhones, sorry).

There are two versions of Cāngjié that are prevalent currently. Cāngjié 3 and Cāngjié 5. Cāngjié 5 is supposed to be an improvement over version 3 but I don't find there's much; having a slightly altered version just adds to the confusion and unnecessarily complicates matters, in fact!

If you have a choice, I'd recommend selecting Cāngjié 3 as that is more supported. Some operating systems may not be too compatible with Cāngjié 5 still, for some strange reason.

You may also come across something called “Quick” (速成) aka, “Simplified Cāngjié”.

This is simply a scaled down version of Cāngjié, it's still based on Cāngjié's formula. So you still need to know how Cāngjié works in order to use “Quick” efficiently.

You'd then need a chart like this. ↓

* the 重 (Z) key doesn't really come into use. I don't really know what it's for, but it seems to be used (paired with other keystrokes) mainly to type out various punctuation marks.

There are variants out there, some having a little more, or less, radicals shown than in the above example, but I'll say the chart here is one of the more comprehensive ones I've found so far (and sufficient enough) — other charts often fail to highlight the 難 (X) key and what it corresponds to.

You don't have to memorize the chart all at once. Just always have a chart like this on hand to refer to and with enough typing practise, you'll eventually remember which key corresponds with which radicals.

Remember the rules. ↓

“1 part” character (e.g. 寫) = first 3 & last (radical).

“2 parts” character (e.g. 唔龍) = first & last, first 2 & last.

“3 parts” character (e.g. 難) = first & last, first & last, last.

e.g. 寫 ↓

With radicals 宀，丿，臼 (first 3) and 灬 (last).

Corresponding keys: 十，竹，難 and 火。

寫 → 写 ↓

With radicals 冖，卜，㇆ (first 3)，一 (last).

Corresponding keys：月，卜，尸 and 一。

e.g. 龍 ↓

With radicals 亠，月 (first & last), 卜，コ (first 2)，ヒ (last).

Corresponding keys: 卜，月，卜，尸，and 心。

龍 → 龙 ↓ (Simplified 龍 → 龙，a “1 part” character)

With radicals 丶，ナ，ヒ (first 3).

Corresponding keys: 戈，大，and 心。

e.g. 難 ↓

With radicals 廿，人 (first & last)，亻(first & last)，土 (last).

Corresponding keys: 廿，人，人 and 土。

難 → 难 ↓

With radicals ヌ (first & last)，亻(first & last)，土 (last).

Corresponding keys: 水，人，and 土。

Occasionally, you may get a character that looks like a “2 parts” but is actually a “3 parts”. ↓

e.g. 唔 ↓

With radicals 口 (first & last)，一，一 (first & last)，口 (last).

Corresponding keys: 口，一，一 and 口。

Or looks like a “1 part” but really a “3 parts”. ↓

e.g. 奪 ↓

With radicals 大 (first & last)，亻，土 (first & last)，丶 (last).

Corresponding keys: 大，人，土，and 戈。

奪 → 夺 ↓(Simplified 奪 → 夺，a “1 part” character)

With radicals 大，寸 (first 3; the 丶 is the 3rd component).

Corresponding keys: 大，木，and 戈。

But these are exceptions, and don't occur that often.

And you can start practising!

You can try out this pretty good app called 『五色學倉頡』 (learning Cāngjié with 5 colours), for practise. It's on Playstore, just search for “Cangjie Dictionary” and it should show up.

You have to pay to unlock higher levels, unfortunately. ↓

Anyway, each character comes with colour coded hints and you can opt to turn them off if you like more of a challenge. There are also hints (提示) and the chart (字根表) to refer to if you're really stuck. Also has a dictionary component (查字典) to check out the Cāngjié input for characters.

Another option would be a website called HKCards. ↓

You can use it to check the Cāngjié input for any 漢字/汉字, and there's section for practise (倉頡輸入法練習) as well. After inputting your answer with Cāngjié keys (手田水口廿卜), you can click on the “Answer” (答案) button to see how right or wrong your answers were. ↓

There are 8 characters each time, and you can just hit “Practise Again” (再做練習) to refresh for another 8 to practise with. I've yet to hit a limit.

Unfortunately, this website has lots of ads popping up. And it only supports searching in Traditional characters (Cāngjié was initially catered more for Traditional).

Or you can just try practising randomly with a Cāngjié keyboard and check for mistakes with a Cāngjié dictionary (『五色學倉頡』 app's dictionary comes in really useful here — it appears to support searching in Simplified too).

TL;DR

Cāngjié could be useful (and fun) to know if your 漢字/汉字 knowledge is already adequate, and/or you just like a new challenge.

And if watching videos is more your thing, here's a really helpful YouTube tutorial on how to use Cāngjié (has English subs)!

#Cangjie #Congkit #Cantonese #Mandarin #Jyutping #Pinyin #Zhuyin #Bopomofo #Traditional Characters #Chinese Language #Language #Long Post #Dake Rambles

[xqueen-of-disasterx]

Key Words

MobBoss!Natasha x Fem!Reader

Warnings: smut, dub con, daddy kink, dom!Nat, implied age gap, dumbification, orgasm denial

!Disclaimer English is not my first language so please excuse any grammar or spelling errors!

Word count: 1.2k

Authors note: Part 2 of Yes miss Romanoff coming soon I promise ;)

Masterlist

The Room I was held captive in was cold and wet, you could hear water dripping down somewhere in it. My vision was completely blacked out due to the blindfold that was placed over my eyes. I couldn't scream the piece of fabric in my mouth was preventing me from doing it. My arms started to hurt by how long they've been tied behind my back. Even my legs were bound to the legs of the chair. Leaving me completely spread open, at my kidnapper’s mercy. I knew I was here because of my father he had a lot of enemies. Maybe I was held here to get money for him, at least that's what I hoped for.

The painful quietness was interrupted by a door swinging open followed by loud footsteps and a few comments in Russian. I wanted to scream and cry I was just that scared. The men around me were suddenly quiet all by a feminine voice. "Silence, I want to talk to our little guest here" I could hear her grin in her voice. She stepped closer to me lifting my blind fold her piercing green eyes gazing coldly in my watery ones. She revealed herself to me letting me see her beauty. She looked older, not old but older maybe 40 but no day older. I was mesmerised by her beauty. She gently caressed my cheek whipping the single tear that from my eye.

"Hey hey, look at me I'm Natasha don't be afraid Мой маленький зайчик" I wanted to believe her I truly did however when I saw all the torture devices around the room my last hope faded to get out of there alive. "Now let's get to business shall we" She walked behind me placing her warm hands on my cold shoulders sending shivers down my spine. "You have something I want, зайчик" she whispered in my ear "That being the location of the hard drive" She takes the piece of fabric out my mouth.

"I- I don't know what you m-mean" I said between sobs. Her hands tightened around my shoulders make me hiss in pain. "Don't play dumb now принцесса. I know that you hid it" She signalled her men to leave to room leaving us completely alone. "Normally I would have beat up and tortured by now" She signed stroking trough her red hair "But you are way too cute for me to hurt so I've come up with an better solution" she came closer to me again purposely swinging her hips "I'll give you some much pleasure that you will do anything for your daddy" she whispered in my ear making me release a strangled groan "The best part you would probably even enjoy it, slut" She forcefully kissed me while holding my head in place.

She bit my lip hard enough to draw blood making me hiss before liking over the wound growing at the taste. Natasha’s kisses trail down my neck biting and sucking dark purple marks on my abused skin. I tried to keep it together I really did but it was just too pleasurable. I try to not give her the satisfaction of hearing my moans but when she groped my breaths with her strong hands, I couldn't help it. I licked over my sweet skin tasting me before ripping my blouse followed by her cutting my bra off making it fall the ground.

"You are such a beautiful angle" she said while looking at my exposed boobs and harden nipples. "To bad I'll have to ruin you" her words make me let out a whorish moan. She smirked seemingly satisfied with my answer before kissing my chest. Taking one nibble in her mouth while playing with the other. I thew by head back my body arching in her touch I swear I could cum from this alone. "Daddy please" if I would be honest, I didn't know what I was begging for. She chuckled before biting down on my nibble "You like this right?" I didn't answer being distracted by crying out in a mix of pain and pleasure earning me a slap from her "Answer me you slut or are you too stupid to do that too?"

"I like it daddy please I need you" I cry out in neediness my brain foggy from the pleasure I was gifted for her. "Already so dumb for her daddy nothing but Daddy's little fucktoy right?" I nodded hysterically she seemed pleased with my answer moving to the next nibble. I could already feel how my slick was puddling under me. This was worse than normal torture I was so frustrated by her I didn't know what to do but moan like a bitch in heat. She finally trailed her kisses down my body slicing my skirt and panties from my body, but I didn't care I just wanted my long-awaited pleasure.

She gently almost loving kissed my pubic bone before Natasha untied my legs before grabbing a small device from the table next to her placing it on my clit before I could register what happened she forcefully closed my legs quickly tying my legs together. Slowly I started to register what happened, she pulled out her phone and the device came to live. That Bitch using a bullet vibrator I thought whimpering as the pleasure increased. "Do you like my little helper зайчик“ She smirked sitting down in front of me. I shook my head making her let out a laugh. I was close to cuming already she could clearly see it. Natasha saw that too by the way my thighs twitched. She quickly turned the vibrator down ruining my orgasm. "Only obedient girl get to cum зайчик. So do you want to tell me something or are you too dumbed down?" I couldn't betray my family that easily, so I shook my head.

"It's been an hour" she announced looking at me without mercy "I wouldn't have thought you would manage to be so stubborn" I looked at her with a pleading look as tears rolled down my cheeks. "Don't look at me you know what you have to do to cum" She had ruined me, yet another orgasm and I couldn't take it any longer "2247 Hoffman Avenue" I say between sobs "please let me cum" She turned the vibrator up again letting me realise shortly after. She had settled between my legs again cutting the rope and taking away the torture device. I took deep breaths trying to regain my mind, but everything was so foggy there was only her, Natasha nothing else.

Just as I thought everything was over, she dived in my pussy again taking bold licks over my pussy. Eating like it's her last meal. She kisses my abused clit before gently biting down making me scream out in pleasure. It only took a few months before I came again with a moan of her name. She fully freed me, helping me stand upright. I could only stand with her strong arms around me "You are mine now do you understand Y/N?" She whispered in my ear before placing her drench coat around me hiding my lack of clothing from the world "I understand Natty."

:)

#natasha romanoff x you #natasha x reader #black widow x reader #natasha romanoff smut #natasha x you #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #black widow x female reader

[blood-orange-juice]

ok so ive never properly played genshin and don’t plan to but i know a bit about it’s lore and characters and i think it’s really neat. however i have thousands of hours on ffxiv. on that note please explain why graha and childe are similar. i only have very basic knowledge on childe and i gotta know

Fellow ffxiv enjoyer. <3

(anyone asking me about G'raha has a 100% chance of getting a wall of text and I'm not apologising for that. enjoy your wall of text)

I'm not entirely sure I'm not a case of a person with a hammer to whom everything resembles a nail, but I do think they are the same archetype.

Sweet characters who could have been perfect sidekicks (who still are perfect sidekicks) but listened to too many epic tales as kids and found themselves in a wrong place at a wrong time and now have to play a key role in some universe-changing story.

Both are defined mostly by their stubborness, they are not very suitable for the roles they've chosen and fail over and over again until they do it somewhat right (barely).

No matter how badass they look, their power is not their own, G'raha is a glorified technician of someone else's miracle and little else than a living key, Childe wields an art of old Khaenri'ah without fully understanding it. It's all borrowed from someone else who needed them to achieve a goal.

They do look badass, but mostly because they larp. I'm honestly not sure which one enjoys theatrics more.

Civilisations that created the magic they use specialised in perversion of the natural order of things. They try to use it in relatively noble ways and mostly hurt themselves but the flavour is there.

Both are unbelievably tragic and both somehow make their stories seem almost lighthearted. Complete absense of self-pity. I think that's what makes them both so charming, it's a rare trait.

Both have an incredible capacity for loyalty and love and an incredibly twisted view of what relationships look like. "I'll cross time and space for you, I'll die for you, I'll build a city for you, I'll live for you but please don't ask me to share my plans." "I'll sacrfice my own health and respect of my subordinates to keep my brother's happyness, probably my humanity too, but don't expect me to actually interact with him."

Both have something that looks like self-sacrificial tendencies bordering on suicidality while being, if we are honest, a self-serving trait (partially born out of low self-esteem but still self-serving). They want to live in an old myth and sacrificing oneself is a perfectly reasonable price for that.

Huge egos. And I mean Huge Egos. It's a bit less obvious in Graha's case but I know the type, you see guys like that in PhD programs a lot.

Huge dorks. Both of them.

Both are stuck somewhere between human and non-human and, hmm... their ability to remain human is the most astonishing quality of both. By all accounts, neither should have. They somehow did.

Both are incapable of lying to the point where a third of each fandom headcanons them as autistic. Both are somewhat all right with tricking people without technically lying (although Childe had more practice).

Both are secretive because no one would understand anyway.

FF XIV is a kinder story, so it's easy to overlook, but technically G'raha is a case of body horror, accepts the role of a villain for a while and hides from the player way too much. Hmmm... Where else have I seen it. Hmm. Oh right. That ginger guy from Genshin.

Minor things:

Both are little shits and enjoy annoying the hell out of people they dislike.

Abysmally bad fashion sense. There should be a name for this particular type and level of bad. I don't think I've seen this anywhere else.

And then there's the colour scheme. Red+black+white+blue and red+black+light grey+blue (it's an "anime magician" color profile, I think. black-red-white as alchemy colours + blue as pure magic/something elemental). Childe doesn't quite fit but still the combination is rare.

They way they talk. Dear gods. Who the hell talks like that.

Here's where the similarities end.

One is morally grey but ultimately a good guy (technically. I think the point of ShB was that Emet and G'raha are almost the same), another is a morally grey but still (kind of) a bad buy.

At every step of his story Graha is surrounded by people who love or at least appreciate him, Childe is pretty much on his own and surrounded by people who are either shitty or clueless.

G'raha is kind. Truly and astonishingly kind, in a doomed world he chooses to love everything he touches. Silly little priest of hope. Of all the things he has done this is the most wondrous, I think. Not the time travel, not the city he founded, just being able to remain kind after everything that happened to him.

Childe is... well, Childe. I think he is a deeply decent person (to the point of having a visceral distaste for any kind of unfairness) and he's idealistic but he's indifferent more than he is kind. Empathy usually develops only when someone has shown the person empathy first and, as far as we know, he didn't have much of that in his life.

Also G'raha builds things. Childe breaks things. Childe breaks pretty much everything he touches.

One is an archeologist and a mage and another is a warrior.

I think these differences are caused mostly by the settings they were put into. Childe raised in Sharlayan would have been a very different person. G'raha trained by a voidsent and shipped off to Garlean military would look very much like Childe.

G'raha also has a beautiful character development arc. I love his ShB role. He has this huge ego in the raids and is insufferable and then we see an older and wiser him with a bunch of actual achievements and a bad case of impostor syndrome (trying to do anything real always humbles a person, we all know that real world is held together by sticks and scotch tape. honestly, this change alone is beautiful). And he gets to be an actual hero when he abandons all hope to be Important and resigns to die as a nameless villain if it saves everyone and spares his loved ones from heartbreak.

Childe's character development is yet to happen and I'm not hoping for much but we'll see.

The only difference that definitely isn't created by setting is that G'raha is naturally manipulative. In a kind-hearted way and mostly for the sake of better larp but he isn't that straightforward. Childe is spectacularly blunt for all his mysteriousness.

As a bonus, they both compare main characters to stars, but in completely different ways.

"No doubt your heroism will be the star by which I chart my course," says G'raha to the WoL.

Childe mentions the morning star, which is, of course, pretty and a good companion to a lonely traveler, but also it's not a celestial body you can chart your course by.

It's a guy whose signature weapon is called "Polar Star" and his first artifact set was full of nautical themes, so I think he fully understands what he's saying. "You are my friend but I won't change anything in my life for you."

So I don't think his story will be anything like G'raha's, his life took a different turn very long ago. I do think they used to be similar as kids, bookish boys who dreamed of adventure and being special. So it's fun to compare.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk. <3

#honestly I think it's mostly involvement in deep lore and the lack of self-pity #everything else just snowballs from it #I refuse to be contained #the world must know everything about g'raha #he's the only character who has a personal tag in my old livejournal blog #even childe doesn't #even dragon age morrigan #g'raha tia #eternal wind #ff xiv #childe #tartaglia #rinn talks to people #one would think that the closest ffxiv parallel to childe would be zenos #another blood knight #and in a sense he is #but also not really #zenos raised in sharlayan would still be zenos #but also maybe I'm overthinking and reading into childe's character too much #I hope not #I want a good story for him

[yuriririn]

Sober Thoughts

A/N: Reminiscent of my old conversations with my ex boyfriends over a pint (or pints tbh) of beer. I'll probably edit this again later on my laptop. For now, settle with no italicized words. Lmao

PAIRING | Lee Heeseung x female reader

WC | 2.6k

GENRE | Fluff, suggestive (if you squint) though I try to keep it PG

WARNINGS | Explicit language, mentions of alcohol and implied underaged drinking, suggestive, mentions of premarital sex

SYNOPSIS | It was a tough week for you and your boyfriend so you sit down in a quiet speakeasy bar where you guys had your first beer together. There wasn't anything special. No birthdays, anniversaries, etc. You weren't celebrating anything. Just you, him, and the comfortable nostalgia from your 7-year long relationship.

--

"Been a while, don't you think?" he wiggled onto his seat after pulling your chair out for you to get comfortable close to him.

You looked around. "It still looks the same as three months ago."

"I wonder if they still remember us."

"I'm sure the waitress still remembers you."

"You're gonna fight with me over that again like last time?"

"Nah, you're not as handsome as you were when we were in college." you giggled. He still is, but you can't give him that.

He scoffed at the remark. "But what about when the guy next to us thought you and I were just friends? The one who asked for your number while I was in the bathroom? Hmm?"

"He was obviously drunk!"

"Sad I wasn't drunk enough myself. I could have kicked his ass."

You rolled your eyes trying to fight a laugh from escaping. Before you could comment, one of the waitresses approached your table.

"Welcome back, Sir!" she squealed, not even hiding that annoying flirty tone. Heeseung locked eyes with you and you both giggled over your unspoken communication.

"Yeah, here with my girlfriend of seven years again. We'll have two draught beers please."

She lets out a small huff, clearly disappointed that you two haven't broken up yet. You look up at her with a huge grin plastered on your face that's practically saying "Nice try, sister." And with that, she left with your orders.

"Guess I still got it."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah Mr. Hotshot."

"So how was your week, my love?" he reached out to hold both your hands. "Anything new you haven't complained to me about this week?"

"Very funny. I still haven't gotten any calls from any of the positions I applied for this month."

"How about that firm you worked for last year?"

"I liked working there but I kind of want to explore other places too. The legal world is getting pretty small so opportunities are scarce and I'm finding it much harder now more than ever." you were doing fine, just not that great. And that's not somewhere you want to be when you're in your twenties. "How about you?"

Your beers arrived. "Work has been the same." he takes a sip. "My boss is trying to lure me into getting a promotion though."

"That's great isn't it?!"

"It would be if we're ready to relocate."

"What do you mean? Does the promotion come with relocation?" you gulped your first mouthful of alcohol for the night, trying not to mind the seriousness of the conversation.

"Yeah. It's not that far. Just by the other side of the city. The commute doesn't make much of a difference, but I would rather we decide together once you've found a job that's good for you."

"That sounds very husband of you, Hee."

He chuckled softly, "I always incorporate you into my decisions. We've been together for so long after all."

"Has it really been seven years?" you rest your chin on your hand as you pretended to think.

"Time flies." he sighed.

"When you're having fun?"

"When you're with a psycho more like it."

"Fuck you."

"I did last night." he lifted his eyebrow with a smirk.

"Meh, I've seen you do better."

You both laugh. Again, he swallowed another mouthful of beer before saying, "I remember our first time here about four years ago. The beer tasted terrible!"

You covered his mouth to shut him up. "You can't say those things here Hee they might kick us out!" He shook his head to remove your hand. "Besides, it was our first time drinking alcohol back then."

"Was it?"

"Well, doesn't include Jake's birthday party when we were barely 17."

He scoffed. "I was 18. You were 12."

You slapped his hand. "I was 17 and a half!"

"You were half my size!"

"In my defense, I still kind of am to this day."

You could see his eyes disappear as he gulped his drink. This was just like any of your normal lovers' banters and you'd think that he's already made every single possible joke to you by now and that you guys have probably already argued over every single thing, yet still the attraction, spark, and freshness of young love continue to linger around the two of you.

Both of you were drinking faster than usual tonight. Maybe it was just the familiarity of it all, but you really did enjoy hanging out with Heeseung. He wasn't just your boyfriend. He was also your best friend. You were lucky to find both in just one person.

"I still see that 15-year old little Ms. Perfect Girl who got a 93 in Chemistry when I got a 95."

"Why was I little Ms. Perfect? You were Mr. Hotshot with perfect grades, captain of the basketball team, vice president of the supreme student council—"

"Only because you were president." he interrupted with what looked like beer number 2 in his hands.

"You had absolutely no rizz in your 6-foot tall body though."

"No rizz?! I was able to get you!"

"Only because we got trapped in that audio-visual room with little to no sunlight," you recalled and the memory was so vivid it still felt like it happened yesterday, "and no phone signal too. God you were so loud! It was the first time we ever had a proper conversation outside of class."

Heeseung smiled as he thought about how you guys transitioned from enemies to friends to lovers.

"I found out about your family back then," you continued, "and your passion for music."

"You told me you wanted to be a lawyer and I thought it was totally weird."

You looked at him funny. "You don't seem to be so bothered by it now!"

"Only because I know you're gonna be rich someday."

That stupid smirk again. You poked his nose and he scrunched it simultaneously, earning a snicker from you.

"It wasn't always easy for us," you exhaled, "law school and work is tough."

"We pull through nonetheless."

You were both now on your third beer, and even if the night was still young and that it is still relatively too early for you to feel tipsy, it's there. You weren't drunk yet, but the buzz was slowly knocking on your head.

"How about Karina? Were you ever jealous of her?" he asked. You don't remember how the conversation went from arguing whether to paint the bathroom blue or yellow to the external factors that might have potentially caused a break up.

"No way!" you lied through your teeth, "I knew she was just a friend of yours from the start! I mean, she was drop-dead gorgeous but not enough to break me, nope."

He was full on laughing now, "Wokay, whatever you say Y/N my perfect angel bb girl lover baby."

"Stop mocking me!" you lightly slapped his shoulder, "Between you and I, in this relationship, you are the jealous one!"

Heeseung flinched a little bit because you were somewhat semi-screaming into his ear when you spoke. Oh he knew you were being your three-drink self already and he could tell because "three-drink Y/N" is loud Y/N. The buzz was now kicking itself in and you felt so much more light-headed that an hour ago. Nonetheless, he knew how you were feeling by now granted that this is probably your one hundredth time drinking together as a couple.

"Alright let me get this straight," he spoke close to your face, "you won't let me attend a Twice concert and finally see Jihyo the love of my life in person but still I'm the jealous one?!"

"Yes!" you huffed.

The sound of you guys' laughter and trivial taunting echoed the small bar. The music was mellow now and both of you were ready for another beer.

"I got really lonely when you decided to go to law school."

You nearly choked on your beer with his sudden confession. "Why? You always knew I was gonna get into law."

"Well, I know, I know, it's just," he took a deep breath, "Hearing how hard it was from my other friends and how demanding it would be for you, it kind of made me feel insecure."

"Why is that?"

"I thought that you might find someone in law school with the same interests, same aspirations in life, and end up dumping me for him." he let out a small laugh and rubbed the back of his neck.

Four-drink Hee was sensitive Hee, and although he looked adorable with his doe eyes and red ears, it made you sad because you wish he told you that before. You guys talked about your futures together even in the early stages of dating and he was always supportive of your life decisions despite them being almost entirely different from the things he wanted. Luckily during the course of your relationship, you were able to find common grounds and although in an ideal world things could have been called perfect, the life you guys had was close to perfect despite the struggles because he's just so passionate, kind, and understanding of your needs.

"I would never dump you." you huffed.

"Yeah, well I kind of figured that if you wanted to dump me you would have a long time ago."

"Right? Now I'm just stuck with you."

He pouted. Oh right. This was still Four-drink Hee.

"—but of course, wouldn't have it any other way!" you quickly took back and he made the most precious grin. You couldn't help but pinch his cheek.

Five-drink Y/N was dirty Y/N and Heeseung could see in your eyes how dilated your pupils have become and how touchy you've been for the last 20 minutes. He was feeling a little drowsy now too considering that these beers do come in a pint per order.

Were the mugs really that big?

He shook his head and continued to listen to you rambling about something he already knows and maybe it was just the alcohol but did you really just start caressing his thigh? No, you couldn't have, and you were at a public place.

With lightning speed, he ordered two shots of tequila.

"Coming right up, Sir!" the waitress chirped as she skipped back to the counter.

"That bitch is really getting on my last nerve," you say groggily, "do you want me to make a scene?"

He let out a breathy laugh, "No baby, I just want you to drink."

Truthfully he wanted to just move on to Six-drink Y/N because Five-drink Y/N was either just horny or violent and while it would have been absolutely no problem for him (he's been wanting you ever since your second drink) if you guys were at home, sadly you weren't. And he needed to be the responsible one.

God was he perfect or what?

You both took your shots and wow did your world spin with just one teeny-tiny drink? Heeseung let out the loudest Korean post-drink sound and you could only look at him in adoration.

"Did I ever tell you how annoying you are?" you ask.

"It was the first thing you ever said to me and the last thing I heard before you left for work this morning."

"Right, I remember."

"Do you remember the day we moved in together?"

He looked down at your fingers tapping on the table, then to your lips which were pursed together in thought. It was his turn to look at you in awe, and all you did were the most mundane things.

"I remember the day we decided to move in together" you finally spoke, "we were in my studio apartment and the kitchen sink was always leaking, the walls were so thin we heard the neighbors fight all the time."

"It always ends in sex though."

"Yeah, well we would sometimes fight over whatever they were fighting about too."

"And then we end up having sex too."

You felt your blood rush up to your cheeks and playfully slapped his shoulder. "It was a humble beginning, but one night you woke up and—"

"I woke you up and asked you if you wanted to move in together."

"Right," you respond feeling a little shy from his gaze, "and it's been two years since."

"I do not miss that old apartment of yours. The leaks and creaky sounds were loud and your roommates were insufferable."

"And yours weren't? You had to share an apartment with Jake, Jay, and Sunghoon, and they were all hooligans."

"Yeah, well we were in college and Jay paid for the rent a considerable long time so it helped me save up for our apartment now."

Heeseung was so much better than you when it comes to finances and since you were a student longer than he was, he covered for a lot of things for you. Post-grad, he was able to afford a two-bedroom apartment and even if the rent was a little high, not long after, he landed a considerably high-paying job at a creative agency. Sometimes you would envy his growth because it would always be exponential, but looking back to where you started from where you are now, you've come a very long way too.

"Do you ever see us getting married, Y/N?"

This was Seven-drink Heeseung and maybe this was his cap because you've never ever been asked this question by him before despite being together for so long. Nearly choking on your drink, you released a small cough in response.

He giggled and kept a lingering stare at your reaction. "I'm just messing with you, you don't have to—"

"Of course, I do."

"Oh."

His ears were burning red now. Cute.

"Who else would I spend the next seven years with? Or even the next ten? Twelve? Fourteen? Forever?" you made a cheesy grin to match your equally cheesy statement, "you ask the silliest questions, Mr. Lee."

"Alright, alright!" he put both his hands up in defeat, "let's go get the bill."

You could only nod because at this point you really did feel the alcohol in your head and it wasn't light anymore. It felt heavy, and if it weren't for the sobering conversation you had with your boyfriend by the end of the night, you would have semi-passed out by now.

--

Heeseung guided you up to your apartment, removed your shoes, and settled you onto your couch.

"Had fun tonight, baby?" he sat on the floor facing your bare legs as you rested your head back on the pillow.

"Mmm-hmm." you respond feeling his hands massage your aching calves, "Thank you for taking me out tonight."

"Of course."

The next morning, you could only recall the moment you fell asleep on the couch with him.

Seven years might not be a long time for some, and for others it might have felt like an eternity. But for some reason you were stuck in between a split-second and forever. That's how Heeseung made you feel. Euphoric but rational, ecstatic but calm, mature but youthful, innocent but brave. He provided the sweetness of Nirvana along with the thrill that comes with uncertain reality.

You were tiptoeing on the border of sober and drunk, and you're glad to be held by him now and maybe, just maybe, if life could just allow you to be even more lucky, forever.

#blog #kpop #kpop bg #kpop boys #enha imagines #enhypen fluff #enhypen imagine #enhypen x reader #enhypen heeseung #lee heeseung #lee heesung x reader #heeseung #heesung enhypen #enhypen fanfic #enhypen fic #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen

[xerith-42]

Dante hesdcanons pls pls pls pls pls

I'll admit, I haven't given blue hair and pronouns enough love, so let's give it to him.

Dante was like 18 fresh out of the guard academy when Aph met him, compared to Garroth and Laurance who are in their mid to late twenties, and he was kind of just a little feral. Dante is just used to being a bewildering presence for people and he loves it. Like "Yes, I am basically a very tall child (5'7) and yes I will kick your ass." He likes confusing people, but he also really likes that Aph isn't thrown off by him. She treats him the way she would treat any guard she got roped into helping on a mission.

Dante's favorite color is magenta. Don't ask me why.

Dante carries on the honored tradition started by Gene of being a completely disastrous bisexual. Then again, with Garroth, Aph, and Laurance as his other role models, he really didn't stand a chance. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he thinks about the possibility of just being with Nana and Nicole at the same time. He knows it's impossible, they've already pushed the situation past the point of no return because of his and Nicole's refusal to communicate, and he can't even begin to fathom how he'd explain it to the kids if Nana and Nicole even agreed to it.

Dante's favorite sweet that Nana makes is strawberry tarts. Strawberries are just his favorite fruits and Nana is always able to make something delicious with them.

This is basically canon but I want to turn up Dante's "I love my wife so god damn much!!" energy to 11. Like even if there's problems with Nicole, especially after they're resolved, he's so in love with Nana it's ridiculous. Y'know the way Maes Hughes is in Fullmetal Alchemist about his wife and kid? That's how Dante is.

And nobody can even really be mad at him because he's so earnest and loving and especially his mentors are so proud of him for really finding love and learning to cherish it. But there is more than a few times when Dante is gushing about his wife to Laurance while they're sparring and Laurance just groans and rolls his eyes. "Dante, I literally knew your wife before you did." "But you don't understand how she makes me feel Laurance! She's so brilliant, and beautiful--" "I've already heard you go on this rant before!"

There are some days where he's sort of distant. They became more and more frequent after Aph and everyone disappeared. Sometimes he would just go out to the gates of Phoenix Drop where he waited for them, or to that spot in the forest where they were last seen. He doesn't really say a lot, just stares at those spots, letting his brain feeling the crushing loneliness of missing almost everyone important to him. History has repeated itself. Due to forces that were honestly largely out of Dante's control, he's lost his entire family.

When Nana told him she was pregnant, Dante started crying. Tears of joy, relief, terror, grief, adoration, hopefulness. He just falls to his knees while holding her hand and cries. And Nana kneels down and comforts him. She knows what this means to him, how important and yet twisted Dante's relationship to having a family is. But neither one of them doubt that the other wants this. Dante wants this more than anything.

Oh my Irene he must have been a MESS after finding out about Dmitri. I know the show gave us some of this, but he probably hid a lot of it from Aph because she hasn't been around for so long, and he saw the kind of relationship bull shit she is still kind of getting up to, so he doesn't want to burden her with this. But when everyone's gone home for the night and it's just Nana and Dante in their bed together?

Needless to say a lot of tears were shed, apologies were stumbled through, and Dante ultimately resolves that he wants to be an even better father than he is to make up for not being there for Dmitri. And Nana assures him he's already a great father (because he is), but adores how dedicated her husband is to making up for his past mistakes in a very substantial way.

It takes a very long time for Dante to forgive Nicole. He still loves her, he never won't love her honestly, but he can't forgive her for hiding Dmitri from him. Even if they weren't together when he was born, he still would have done anything Nicole needed. Whether that was keeping Dmitri in his home for a few weeks, or just giving Nicole monthly payments, Dante would have taken what he could get. He's heartbroken that after all the time they spent together Nicole didn't realize that about him. Even if he'd "moved on".

I don't think Dante is capable of moving on. He's a character who constantly gets stuck in the past and shoulders the consequences of not only his own mistakes, but the mistakes of many others around him. Even when he tries to move forward, his past keeps coming back to bite him in the ass.

#text post #aphmau #i dont support aphmau #minecraft diaries #mcd dante #mcd headcanons #writing #dante headcanons #garroth ro'meave #laurance zvahl #nana ashida #mcd nicole #fullmetal alchimist brotherhood #<---- I just reference it asdsafsdf #I do that a lot actually #aphblr #aphmau mcd #aphmau minecraft diaries #aphverse

[20dollarlolita]

silly question but I wouldn't know who else to ask: Does having too much lace and poofiness ever interact badly with your wheelchair? I know most chairs have a shield between the wheel and the seat but it seems like the overflow could get damaged or stuck and this is something I'd like to consider before I start buying things

Oh, it's absolutely a thing I have to deal with. Most of the time, I'll drape my skirt over my side guards for the sake of taking a picture, and then tuck it back in before I go somewhere.

So pictures like this, I'm definitely going to protect the dress again before we move anywhere.

This specific wheelchair has low profile side guards, because I get my wheelchairs off ebay and that's what the person I got it from had. If I ever order a new chair for me, I'd probably want to get taller guards with a fender on the top. With the kind of clothes that I wear, I'd be willing to pay some extra to get some additional protection. (That said, I'm hopefully not going to ever buy myself a brand new chair since this one's great, already been around for over a decade, and works just fine for me. One of my favorite things about lolita fashion is how much we respect and reuse older things, and that's something that is also part of my life in other ways. We still have hopes of me being able to recover and get back into walking again so I don't want to spend a ton of money on something when I have a thing that's working fine.)

Most arm rests do have some form of protection between the wheel and the clothing, so those are an option as well. I've found that I personally don't like having arm rests, but you can have both clothing protection and arm rests.

The normal way that I tend to have my stuff tucked is to push as much as I want under my legs, and then to shove the extra fullness behind my back. This lets the skirt still look good but also stay out of the way.

Also you can see how I extended my side guards with some fabric-covered timtex that velcros into the chair. Those are actually the exact same guards as I have on the new machine, but you can see how they look a lot shorter. This is because the wheels on this chair are at a different height relative to the frame, versus my current chair. There are things that I could have done to adjust the side guards, like moving them forward. However, by the time that I replaced that wheelchair, the frame was just too narrow for me, so I could move those side guards wherever I wanted and would still be touching the wheels.

So yeah, there's definitely concerns about wearing very voluminous skirts and using a wheelchair at the same time. I try to keep my chair width pretty tight, because I pretty much exclusively self-propel and I like the access to the wheels. I know that a lot of guides for buying wheelchairs say to get a few extra inches of width beyond your physical body measurement, and that would probably make things easier in terms of clothes. I think that the two-post flip-back arm rests on the first chair I used (which is this one and it's pretty good in my experiance) actually protected my clothes a bit better than my current side guards. However, all of the things that made it better for lolita fashion made me like it best as a main means for propelling myself around the world. Extra space and arm rests are really good when other people push you, so that's a thing to consider. At the end of the day, I just got a chair that let me be as independent as I could, and then figured out how to do the lolita part in post.

Little rant time: One of the things that drives me crazy is when people who aren't disable the way I'm disabled try to make lolita rules for people who are disabled like I'm disabled. Usually it's people who do mean well, making statements like, "I think that EGL coords only look good with heeled shoes," and then add things like, "Unless you're disabled and can't wear heels." The person who's saying that thinks that they're being more accepting of disability in the fashion, but what they're actually doing is making a separate set of rules for the disabled to follow. However, people who are disabled are actually pretty aware of what our limitations and abilities are, and we're usually pretty used to problem solving when it comes to these things. I can use a combination of knowing where and what I'm doing and how I'm feeling on any given day to pick footwear that is both safe and appropriate for my given setting. I don't really need a stranger on Rufflechat to try to make separate rules for me without knowing that. Quick tip to people wanting to be accepting of disability in lolita: find disabled lolitas and listen to them. <NOTE: that heels comment is an example opinion and is not at all commonly accepted lolita opinions>

#20dollarlolita on wheels #wheelchair lolita

[samptlay]

To My Sweetheart Who Carries A Wounded Heart Ch. 10

Series Masterlist, Chapter 1 🤍, Chapter 2 🖤, Chapter 3 🤍, Chapter 4🖤, Chapter 5🤍, Chapter 6🖤, Chapter 7🤍, Blade & Reader's Relationship, Chapter 8🖤, Chapter 9🤍

Blade’s phone was ringing, & your name was on the screen.

Did you find out about the affair? Are you calling him while crying your eyes out? Though that could be the case, it seemed less likely that you needed to learn what was happening. So why in the world would you be calling him right now? He doesn’t know or have a single idea, but he probably shouldn’t keep you waiting, whatever it is.

“Y/N?”

“Ren, hey. I’m sure you weren't expecting my call but right now I have no idea where Levi is and I'm feeling like crap. Are you busy with anything right now?”

He did not think he could get any more worked up, but hearing the sorrow in your voice as well as the fact you just told him you felt lonely almost made him see red. In all honesty, he was about to run to his dining room, snatch his keys from off the table, and rush to his car but he hadn’t even showered, let alone brush his teeth. Though he’s sure that you’d let him do all that at your place if he were to leave right now he couldn’t show up unpresentable to you, could he? That could ruin some of his image on you and he’d rather jump off a cliff than let that happen. (He really would.)

“Hello~? Do you have plans? I saw on your calendar you were off but if you already have somewhere to be then-”

Shoot, he got lost in thought for a moment there. Of course, he didn’t have anything to do, he’s never occupied when it comes to you but he’s sure you’re not aware of that fact.

“No- I’m free. I mean-”

He coughs, and you end up giggling from the other end. His ears turn a bit pink from embarrassment as he clears his throat and he decides to speak again.

“Just give me like, 30 minutes I'll be there soon, alright?”

“Mhm. See you soon.”

He could hear your not-so-subtle chuckles before you hung up, but he was already throwing his phone onto his bed and making his way to the bathroom, turning on the shower before brushing his teeth at a speed that definitely made sure they were pearly white. Again, he could never look like a mess in front of you, it just didn't sit right with him.

Blade didn't even wait for the water to fully warm up before stripping and grabbing his toothbrush and toothpaste, getting inside, and deciding to multitask with everything. In the back of mind, Blade knew that he shouldn't be this eager to see you, shouldn't be in such a rush to want to be in the company of a married woman, but he couldn't help it. It's always been this way and he doesn't really want it to change any time soon.

~

After getting himself situated and hopping into his car, Blade's brain took more time to realize that today would be a lot harder for you than any other. He just notes that he was sad as well. You wouldn't know how much courage it took for him to not run into that hospital room and hold you in his arms.

It was a loss of a life. One that could have brought you so much happiness, but was stripped of you.

However, he could make it better. Blade's not the greatest at expressing his feelings at times though he's always could effortlessly make you smile. He was certain he could do it today, too. So why not go pick up a little something for you while he's on his way? Surely it couldn't have any negative effects.

~

A/N: I've been having second thoughts about this fic. I looked back to some previous chapters and realized I was not too fond of the way it was written. One person said the way I write Blade is ooc… (on Tumblr) which didn't help my encouragement to write this. I'm excited about the new fic and I'm going to be investing a lot of my energy into that one because I don't get much feedback about this one, it's harder to do better. Therefore, this fic is going on Hiatus until further notice. I'll be using that time to learn more while working on something else.

I MIGHT add chapters randomly if I have work done but updates are not regular as of now. But it will not be abandoned. (I believe.)

If you have any questions or comments, don't be afraid to leave them. ♡ ~♪◍•

Taglist: @uhfhfhfhf @xdrin @msun1c0rn @umi-adxhira @lovingnahida @strrawb3rrysh0rtcak3 @ssecylia @skyl8ver @immahuman @meowmeowraven @01234 @markexplanation @esthelily @dawnofazrael @chickenalfredo4life @eccaza @jun-xiu @klemen-time @delulu-val @everi-eve @cluelesstoeverything @strangersomeone

Borders by @cafekitsune

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #blade x reader #hsr x reader #fem reader #fanfic #ao3 fanfic #ao3 #hsr blade