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gravessyard · 2 years

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To Have Loved and Lost Ch. 3

Notes from the Crypt: I'm alive! I must apologize for such a long wait, after I recovered from being sick I fell into a slump, and then things with work began popping up and I was experiencing hella writer's block. I finally sat down today to finish this last chapter of To Have Loved and Lost and I gotta say this is the biggest chapter I've ever written, so I really hope you enjoy! This is going to be the last chapter of this series but I hope you look forward to future work! Chapter 1 here, chapter 2 here and chapter 2.5 here

Tags: GN!Reader, revenge arc, angst, fluff sprinkled in

Summary: You're in your villain revenge arc and prove to Jean and Diluc that you can be the worst thing that's ever happened to them

“Alright, here’s what I was thinking… Hit them where it hurts the most”

The night ended with a brief brainstorming session, the four of you throwing out ideas on how to taint the perfect reputations of the two most prestigious names in all Mondstadt, before the last call was announced by Charles and you’re forced to leave the tavern with the date of the next meeting. Kaeya walked closely beside you, shoulders almost pressed together while you silently pondered to yourself, thinking of further ideas for your revenge.

“You don’t have to stay, you know”, Kaeya’s voice broke you from your spell, your eyes looking to meet the side profile of the cryo user, who wasn’t looking back at you. You were so enraptured by your ache and bubbling desire for revenge that you had completely forgotten why you visited Diluc in the first place; you went back for your travel permits so you could return to Inazuma. In another lifetime you would have returned to your homeland, heart aching and the drive to just cry with your closest friends and eventually move on, learn to stop being lost in thought over the what ifs and the doubts that plagued your soul, eventually find someone else who would cherish you the way you deserved. This lifetime isn’t that however, and you could only smirk devilishly, stepping closer to bump your shoulder with the man.

“I know, but after what your brother said and did to me, I’ll be damned if I return now without doing something”, there was malice in your tone, bloodthirsty almost, but Kaeya of all people knew that your intentions didn’t match your voice. He still had to suppress a shiver that threatened his spine, sending a genuine smile in your direction instead. He stayed silent the rest of the way home, knowing there was no need for further talk, the last thing you both exchanged was a gentle good night along with a hug before going about your nightly routines and heading off to bed. You were going to need the energy for the long war you were about to bring to Mond.

The morning sun offended your eyelids when it snuck through your open curtains, making you scrunch your face and turn over in hopes of getting more sleep, but your other senses were also starting to wake up as you took in the birdsong outside the window, the gentle breeze flowing through leaves and the scent of pancakes and bacon. You opened your eyes slowly, convinced you were kidnapped during the night as it was rare for Kaeya to cook. Sitting up, you rubbed the sleep from your eyes, legs moving to the side of your bed so you could stand up and stretch. Part of you wants to begin your morning routine of brushing your teeth and washing your face, but your stomach had better plans and guided you towards the kitchen, where your eyes widened slightly at the sight; Kaeya at the stove, still in his sleep bottoms and an apron that covered little of his bare chest. You learned very early on after moving in with the captain that he liked to sleep with little to no clothing on, and while he did offer to let you sleep in the same room as him, you insisted a guest room was fine since you didn’t want to end up embarrassing yourself if you got caught staring at his chest during bedtime. As much as you hate to think of it, Kaeya served as a good distraction when you found yourself thinking too deeply about what your relationship once was. There was more than one occasion where you would find your mind drifting to Diluc and then your vision would be blocked by a handsome, toned chest. There was something about Kaeya when it comes to those moments, as if he could sense your despair and used his charm and good looks to bring you out of that dark place. The sight before you, however, was just Kaeya in the rare mornings you both shared. You leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed and a sleepy smile on your face as you took in the way he flips the pancake he was cooking with elegance.

“If you’re going to just stand there, why not make yourself useful and help me set the table? I’m almost done”, his deep voice was pleasant to hear, he sounded as if he had woken up not too long ago himself. You hummed softly, moving from your place, and quietly setting up the table as he asked, setting down two sets of plates, glassware, and utensils just as Kaeya was finishing up his cooking and moving food onto plates. The morning was just comfortable silence, something you grew to appreciate as you felt it was the only time where your mind and heart were at ease, sitting here with the calvary captain enjoying some nice bacon, even if it was a little overcooked. You teased him about it while washing dishes, giggling at his feigned hurt reaction. With stomachs full and the morning becoming late, you and your icy roommate finally begin your routines of washing up and preparing for the day ahead, the ball of anxiety sits heavy in your stomach as you double checked yourself in the full length mirror that Kaeya owns, the bastard wont even entertain the idea of getting one for your room so you’re forced to use his while he’s putting his accessories on. “If you keep scowling like that, you’ll get wrinkles you know”, Kaeya chuckled from behind you, eye meeting yours in the mirror as you exhaled loudly, as if it would help calm your nerves.

“I know… Just have a lot of thoughts”, you mumbled, turning to face him. Clearing your throat, you reach out and begin to fix his shoulder pelt, not that it needed to be fixed anyway but the soft fur was doing an excellent job at grounding you. Kaeya refrains from voicing the sly comment that was on the tip of his tongue, he’ll tease you about wanting to touch him later when you don’t look like you’re on the verge of tears. Instead, he leans forward to press his lips right where your brows were creased with worry, smiling when he felt the muscles relax and your breath hitches. His hand comes up to wrap around yours as he moved his lips from your brows to your knuckles, placing a gentle kiss on each one before he gives you the softest smile you’ve ever seen. “It’s going to be okay, remember that you’re not doing this alone, and I’ll always be by your side until you’re satisfied”, his eye glints with something mischievous, and the romantic tension in the air morphs into something else as you pulled your hand back to slap at his shoulder, making Kaeya burst out in laughter. It didn’t take long to finish getting ready, meeting each other at the front door before doing your traditional routine of a tight hug, a crack of a joke and where to find the other for emergencies before separating outside, Kaeya going to the Favonius Headquarters and you returning to the tavern to meet back up with Rosaria and Venti to further discuss plans. You’ll relay whatever was said to Kaeya when he gets off work, but you knew you needed to set up a thorough plan if you wanted your justice to be swift and merciless. Before opening the tavern door, you rummaged through your bag, confirming the paperwork you had with you since before you even left home and taking a deep breath before finally entering Angel’s Share. Immediately your eyes landed on the pair you were looking for, a smile on your lips that lasted all but a few seconds, they appeared on edge. You didn’t have time to think why however as you looked over from their spot at one of the tables to the bar, where the one and only Diluc Ragnvindr was standing behind, accompanied by Charles. No one said a word, not you, not the men behind the bar, not your soon to be accomplices, and definitely not the passed-out drunkards at the other tables. Diluc stared at you, expression unreadable and like the smooth dickwad he was, resumed his conversation with Charles as if you didn’t even exist. You swallowed hard, trying to keep your own poker face intact as Charles tilted his head curiously at you, asking a silent question that you subtly shook your head at before walking towards Rosaria and Venti and sitting with them.

“This is bad… Who knew Master Diluc would actually be here today! Should we relocate?”, Venti whisper-yelled at you as soon as you sat down next to him, his question going unanswered as you reached over to pick up his drink and take a big swig out of it. You needed the alcohol to help steel your nerves and who cares if it was 10am on a Monday, no one bats an eye when Venti does his day drinking so who’s gunna fault you for starting just as early? “Just give me a second… I’m thinking”, you whispered back at Venti as you took another sip of his drink, cringing at how strong it was but you didn’t care, the poor bard had to practically wrestle his drink from your grip. “Hey, stop being idiots. He’s watching”, Rosaria whispered into her drink at you both, making you and Venti pause to look over at the bar and directly at Charles and Diluc, who were indeed watching you both wrestle for the mug. Diluc crossed his arms, unamused written all over his features and if you looked closely, you could see a faint scar on his cheek, right where you socked him the last time you saw him a few weeks ago. You felt the shortest moment of pride swell in your chest before it was snuffed out by anxiety, remembering why you were in the tavern in the first place and you were the first to break eye contact, returning your attention to your partners in crime. Diluc sighed, shaking his head, and resuming his conversation with Charles, while you made idle chit chat with Rosaria and Venti, refusing to acknowledge anything about your master plan while the very man you’re conspiring against is physically present. You listened to your bar mates dive into a story completely off topic, the alcohol seeming to affect all of you before your hearing blessed you with eavesdropping into Diluc’s conversation.

“We haven’t heard back about next month’s shipment from Ookami’s, and our current supplies are starting to dwindle, what do you suppose we do Master Diluc?”, Charles’ voice wasn’t loud, but with the lack of more active bodies in the tavern, it didn’t take much to pick up on the name he mentioned. It took a lot from you not to break out into a grin, recognizing the name immediately as it was something you were heavily involved in. Ookami’s is a rather famous sake house located in Inazuma, part of its appeal to customers was the anonymity of the owner that is said to work in the shadows, using the faces of their closest business companions to represent them in interviews and magazines. It took a lot of trial and error for the company to get to where its at now, going from a humble little sake house in Inazuma City to branching out to other nations that hold several warehouses and contracts. You’re rather proud of the work, leaving the warehouses to your business partners yet keeping the contracts of every tavern that asked to serve your goods, you felt like the most powerful being in Angel’s Share, being the object of Charles’ conversation. You knew it was only a matter of time before Diluc sent out another letter to Ookami’s, trying to get to the bottom of the sudden stop in shipment, which you absolutely did have something to do with. It was no rumor that you liked to work in the shadows, you rather liked the simplicity of your current life before it went to Hell. The spotlight wasn’t something that attracted you, you couldn’t see yourself doing these interviews or look forward to your page in magazines, so you left the task to those you knew were a much better fit to represent you. Of course, they never took the credit for themselves, always addressing you as Master Ookami and expertly redirecting conversation should it try to pry into your personal life and whereabouts. You were left to live your life as normally as you wanted, so when you visited Mondstadt to personally see how your wares were faring in Angel’s Share, a nation so far from home, you hadn’t expected to fall for the wine tycoon who still is unaware of how much power you actually had.

“I’ll send another letter today, and hopefully one of their representatives will actually respond, in the meantime just keep selling what we have”, Diluc huffs, clearly annoyed that his business was beginning to suffer a little, and you cracked a smirk at that. Two weeks ago, you sent an urgent letter to your partners, telling them to cease shipment to Angel’s Share until further notice and any letters addressed from Diluc should be redirected to you at Kaeya’s address, under no circumstances should he be made aware where his inquires are being sent to. You hummed to yourself, Rosaria and Venti going silent as you stood from the table, pointing your gaze to the door and after a few seconds they also stand, wobbling slightly towards the door and going back to bickering with each other. Diluc pauses, watching as you approach the bar with a sweet smile not aimed at him. “Charles… Be a dear and give me a shot of Ookami’s sakura sake?”, you purred, reaching into your bag for your mora pouch while your drink was being poured for you. Giving him a few coins, you picked up the glass, and while making direct eye contact with Diluc, downed the liquid in a single go and returned the glass to Charles with a wink. “You may want to think about switching to something else, as we’re experiencing… difficulties with our sponsor”, Diluc comments, tensing when you looked at him, or rather at his scar.

“From Ookami’s? Hm, wonder why, that sake is good stuff”, you feign a sigh, returning your mora pouch to your bag before bidding your farewell to Charles and leaving the tavern, returning to your tipsy friends, and guiding them to Cat’s Tail instead. You spent the majority of the day polishing up details of your revenge, giving Rosaria and Venti specific tasks that you knew they could execute flawlessly and only when the sun was beginning to set did you remember that Kaeya was getting off work soon and you rushed to finish the meeting, much to Venti’s relief after sniffling and sneezing the entire time. After making sure the drunks could actually walk themselves home, you hurried to the Knights’ Headquarters to wait for sir tall, dark, and handsome, only to interrupt what appears to be a sweet moment between Jean and Diluc. You felt bile in the back of your throat as you paused a little bit away from the entrance, noticing that Athos and Porthos were no longer guarding the front doors which gave them the needed privacy to share a kiss. You contemplated turning back, unable to face them together, let alone apart, but they already spotted you and were awkwardly stepping away from each other, as if they were still trying to keep their relationship a secret. “y/n? what can the knights help you with?”, Jean asks, putting on her acting grandmaster act that makes your blood boil, the way she still holds herself all high and mighty as if she didn’t have a hand to play in your suffering, in why you’re doing what you’re doing now. All logic went through the window the moment she spoke, and you opened your mouth to almost put your plan through the shitter if it wasn’t for Kaeya emerging from the doors, a tired look on his face that brightened up when he saw you. “I hope I haven’t kept you waiting doll, thank you for coming all this way”, his voice broke through your tension, and like a true guardian angel, he takes his place by your side and drapes an arm around your shoulders, ignoring Jean and Diluc in favor of pulling you close to kiss your temple. Your eyes never strayed from the pair, watching how Diluc seems to ruffle at the act of intimacy, and how Jean is trying not to jump to conclusions regarding her calvary captain and her lover’s ex.

“What’s going on here?”, Diluc was the first to speak, choosing to call it out as he sees fit and his frown only deepens when Kaeya smirks his way. “Whatever do you mean? It’s clear to see my roommate came all this way to make sure I get home safe”, to really drive home the point, Kaeya moves his hand from your shoulders to your waist, and you had to fight the blush that was blooming on your cheeks, subconsciously putting your hands on his chest but not having the strength to push him away.

“That’s inappropriate, Kaeya”, Diluc glared at his brother, fist clenching when the cryo user only laughed in response. “Inappropriate? One would think you would know more about that than I do, Master Diluc”, Kaeya’s gaze darkened, and for once you felt the air drop in temperature around the captain, Diluc’s bold claim seemed to get under Kaeya’s skin, and he was struggling to keep his emotions and therefore his vision, in check. Acting quickly, you pulled away from Kaeya’s hold to start dragging him away, without a goodbye to the acting grandmaster and her dog. Kaeya followed without a struggle, the only noise from him was a huff as you took him home and pinched the bridge of your nose, not in annoyance with him but with yourself for almost blowing your own plan. “Hey, how about some wine?”, Kaeya takes your hands in his to lead you into the kitchen, where he wastes no time in pulling out a bottle of wine and a pair of glasses to pour it into. You set your bag on the table, nodding as you pulled out the paperwork you had with you and quietly thanking the man when he places a full glass in your waiting palm. You take a sip as you picked up the first letter Diluc sent out, the handwriting as gorgeous as the man himself as you read and re-read the contents as if you hadn’t gotten them memorized by heart. “To our friends at Ookami’s, I am writing to inquire about the sudden stop in shipment to the Angel’s Share, blah blah blah”, Kaeya began as he poured his own glass, earning a snort and a chuckle from you. Aside from your business partners in Inazuma, there was a very small number of people who knew you were the owner of the famous sake house, you chose to tell Kaeya of your ‘secret identity’ as it was a vital piece of information that you were going to use against Diluc, not to mention you couldn’t even begin to figure out how you’d continue to keep it a secret if you were having letters sent to his place addressed to ‘Master Ookami’. You thought of it as no big deal, you knew Kaeya wouldn’t go around Mondstadt boasting about some top-secret information about you, but you were unaware of how his heart flutters in the knowledge that you trusted him enough to reveal something that quite frankly, was pretty big in the alcohol industry. Not only did Diluc break your heart, but he possibly royally fucked his sponsorship over with Ookami’s, and it’s currently the number one name that’s bringing his tavern revenue.

“Come sit, I’ll bring you up to speed on what happened today”, you pull out the chair next to you as you sat down, patting the seat and giggling when Kaeya sits and makes a show of scooting closer to you. From his perspective, he can really see the hardworking individual that you are from the way you present things, laying out your master plan that you talked about with Rosaria and Venti, their roles and even walking him through his part in the plan, its clear to see that you put a lot of heart and thought into really shoving his brother and the acting grandmaster as far into the dirt as you can. It was endearing, if you ignored your want to absolutely destroy them the way they did to you, but it still brought a smile to Kaeya’s face as he studied your face through your presentation, absorbing every detail.

You gave everyone a rough estimation of two months before shit hit the fan, which was ironic since it took two months before you found out that the love of your life was cheating on you, but fate calls it karma. While you were working behind the scenes to continue stringing Diluc along with his missing shipments, your entourage were hard at work out on the streets. Like how many things start, a small rumor was all it took for your master plan to start everything planned. Similar to a seed, it was planted just outside of Cat’s Tail, a whisper here and there detailing sightings of Master Diluc and Acting Grandmaster Jean behaving inappropriately with each other around the city, and that rumor only spread like wildfire that Diluc was unloyal to poor little ole you, who most people knew you left your life behind in Inazuma to be with him. Jean grew suspicious much quicker than you thought after she tried to ask Kaeya if he had any idea of who started the rumors, which he could only shrug and say he was too busy catching up on paperwork to go out and catch whoever was starting gossip. “Can you maybe ask y/n if they’ve heard anything?”, she tried to ask, faking sincerity in her voice that Kaeya could only quirk a brow at. “Even if I wanted to, I can’t… Haven’t you heard? They went to visit Liyue days before the rumors began, so that’s evidence that they didn’t start them, don’t you think?”, he narrowed his eye at her, watching the way she deflates. He had a point, you weren’t currently in Mondstadt, part of your plan was to leave the city as soon as Rosaria began the rumor at Cat’s Tail so you could have a credible alibi and not have fingers immediately pointed at you, the scorned lover. No one needed to know exactly why you went to Liyue, but if a prying acting grandmaster really had to know, Kaeya was instructed to tell her that you were requested by a family member who moved to Liyue, even though you went not only for leisure but to see how your wares were doing at Third Round Knockout, sipping a warm cup of tea while you sat with Wangsheng Funeral Parlor’s consultant listening to one of his many stories. You listened without worry, knowing that your accomplices were doing their best to turn Mondstadt into your battleground, the rumors circulated, growing bigger with each passing day and with it, so did Diluc and Jean’s stress. Diluc has yet to receive a response from Ookami’s just as he had run out of their supply of sake, and with the rumors making their rounds around town, he found out from Charles that hardly anyone visits the tavern now, not wanting to be a part of any drama. Anyone that does stop by is either a traveler passing through, or a green bard who is allergic to cats and a tired nun who refuses to drink at Cat’s Tail without him.

Weeks went by just as similar, Jean and Diluc would wake and prepare for the day, only to be blindsided and left feeling uneasy seeing how the townsfolk would whisper and laugh behind their backs, no doubt adding more to the rumors that were already beginning to break away at their status. ‘Did you hear? Master Diluc was caught in bed with the acting grandmaster’, ‘Poor y/n, if they find out they’ll be crushed’, ‘The other day I saw a purple mark on acting grandmaster Jean’s neck, I wonder who that could have come from’. The stress was becoming too much for Jean as she sat with her sister in the cathedral one day, weeping into her hands while Barbara patted her shoulder in consolidation. “I just don’t understand why someone would spread those rumors, what have I ever done to deserve this?”, Jean sobbed, missing how Barbara furrowed her brows.

“Jean… I know this isn’t the best time, but I need you to be honest, here in front of Lord Barbatos”, Barbara began, and Jean lifts her head to hiccup and give her a questioning gaze. “Did you… sleep with Master Diluc while he was in a relationship with y/n?”, the words were whispered, but even through Jean’s sniffles it was clear, and to hear a question come from her own sister was enough to send a cold chill up her spine, her silence speaking volumes. “Oh archons”, Barbara teared up, the weight of revelation heavy on her as she stood, Jean following suit and breaking out into another sob. “Barbara wait, please! I… I can explain, I…”, she choked out, legs too weak to follow Barbara as she hurried off, whether to pray for forgiveness on behalf of Jean or because it was just too much for her to handle, Jean will never know. She breaks down, guilt and remorse overwhelming her as she sobs in the middle of the cathedral, thankful of its emptiness but still uncaring should anyone stumble upon her in her current state. She leaves alone, empty, and numb but with a clear mind and time to self-reflect, time to realize that no matter how you tell the story, what she did to you was unforgiveable and she knew what she had to do to begin to help make it right. So, when she sees Diluc standing outside of her abode, worry written all over his face when he spots her, she hopes that you can find it within yourself to forgive her one day. “Jean… what happened? Are you alright?”, Diluc reached out towards her but pauses when she reels back, hurt and disgust evident in her eyes that makes Diluc’s heart clench. “Diluc… I can’t do this anymore… I’m sorry”, Jean’s voice came out hoarse, but it was still enough to drive a spear through Diluc’s heart, crushing him bitterly. He remained silent despite the many questions running through his head, ones he didn’t need answers for when he knew exactly why she was breaking up with him; the rumors had a big part to play but he also knew that deep down, what he and Jean did to you was also eating away at her just as it had with him, he confirmed it after he saw the way Kaeya acted with you, protecting you as though you were something precious to him. His hand fell to his side, fist clenching as he watched Jean enter her home and promptly close the door, leaving him out of her house and her life. He returns to Dawn Winery alone and empty, the only sliver of hope in his life being the letter addressed to him from Ookami’s saying that a representative will meet with him within the next few days for further discussion.

Angel’s Share is bustling with life the next time Diluc comes in for a shift, surprising him greatly, only for his surprise to twist into anxiety when he saw that it was a welcome back party for you, who returned from Liyue the night before. At Kaeya’s insistence, he brings a number of knights with him along with Rosaria and a Venti who is tuning his lyre, prepared to sing a tale he heard of recently. Diluc doesn’t miss the way Kaeya sets his hand on your thigh while he laughs at one of the knight’s stories, nor does he miss the way your lips stretch into a smile, one that doesn’t look forced. He couldn’t help but stare at how plump your lips look, to briefly reminisce how they fit perfectly with his. “Ladies, Gentlemen… y/n~, I am now about to sing to you a recently popular tale, so sit back and enjoy!”, Venti giggles before he strums his lyre and dives into an overexaggerated telling of your story, names omitted so none would be the wiser. To the drunkards, it was the catchy tune that had them slinging arms around each other and singing the words after Venti, but for Diluc it was a nightmare. It was clear to him that the story was fabricated from the rumors, but for it to have gained enough popularity that there was a song about it, he didn’t know if he could save what’s left of his dignity by kicking the bard out. To add salt to the wounds, he caught the way you stared at him with a knowing look as Venti continued to sing your tale, and as if time were slowing down Diluc realized. ‘I hope something else comes along and ruins your life with Jean too’, those were part of the last words you exchanged with him after you punched him, and Diluc could only look on in slight horror as he realized that you were behind everything. The rumors, the citizens mocking him and Jean behind their backs, the bard currently finishing his song in his tavern, everything was your doing. He wanted to be angry, but who can he turn to when the acting grandmaster is also a victim of your heinous deeds and no one in town takes him serious anymore? He stands behind the bar, defeated as you leaned more into Kaeya and clapped along with the other patrons as they screamed for encores from the bard. Venti sang more stories well into the night, and the Knights began to filter out at Diluc’s call of last rounds, and as you bid farwell to Venti and pecked a kiss to Kaeya’s cheek with a request to wait for you outside, you’re left by yourself with the owner himself. Diluc frowns at you, wiping a glass as you sat at the bar and began to rummage through your bag, pulling out a single sheet of paper and presenting it to him on the bar. His brows knit together as he scans the sheet, recognizing it as the contract he has with Ookami’s and he nearly drops the glass he’s wiping.

“Y…You? You’re the representative from Ookami’s who’s meeting with me?”, he asks incredulously, and is even more puzzled when you tilt your head in confusion. “representative? Oh, no, I’m Master Ookami”, you chuckle as if he told you a joke as you watched his expression go from shocked to serious within seconds. It was clear he didn’t believe you, and you anticipated that as you reached into your bag to pull out the rest of your contracts, placing each one on the table as he looks over them, the serious glint in his eyes morphing into slight fear. You intertwine your hands together, chin resting atop your hands as you flashed him a mocking smile. “I’m here to cancel my contract with Angel’s Share following recent rumors, you must understand that whatever bad rumors you circulate will reflect on my brand, so we have to let you go”, you sighed, collecting your other contracts and placing them back in your bag before lifting the one you had with Diluc and tearing it in half right in front of him, then tossing the pieces at him with a frown. Diluc could only watch the paper float to the floor as he finally feels himself break under you, the nauseating sensation of defeat along with the helpless feeling of no one to turn to fills his empty shell with something he could only wonder was the same you experienced that night. He was left to wonder as you exited the tavern to a waiting Kaeya, a soft smile on his face while he takes you into his arms under moonlight. “Well, are you satisfied?”, he asks, chuckling when you pretend to think and flash him a mischievous smile.

“I’ll say this is the best ending I could have achieved, but I think it could be missing something”, you hum, eyes moving to his lips as he swallows hard. For a while you both knew something changed in the air, but with recent events it was hard to sit down and properly discuss these feelings. With your revenge arc coming to a close, you wonder if the next chapter of your life will remain in Mondstadt, a question that didn’t need a voiced answer as Kaeya leans closer to finally kiss you, your lips as soft as he dreamed.

Epitaph: This piece can also be found on AO3. Thank you guys so much for joining me on this journey, I've been keeping up with tumblr notifs while I was away and it was how this piece was still getting love in my absence that really drove me to sit down and finish this piece, so I tried to do it justice for you all <3 I do have ideas for other fics as well as a follow up to Birthday Poptart for those curious, so look forward to that!

Taglist: @seiiblue @crowleysthings @misas-toe-sucker @rendezvousedhats @gwennesy @xiaos-primordialspear

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin impact fic #genshin fic #genshin x reader #diluc ragnvindr #diluc #genshin diluc #kaeya alberich #kaeya #genshin kaeya #rosaria #genshin rosaria #venti #genshin venti #jean gunnhildr #genshin jean #kaeya x reader #tombtales

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fire-angel · 4 years

Text

DRAGON HEART

Hey guys, so the prologue is in my profile, below this part 1. (I'm still learning how to add the link and stuff so bear with me please haha)

PART ONE

Part 1

We're now sitting around a camp fire while we rest for a bit.

"I'm a deciple of a man. More than a man really, he's a myth to others, but he's real, a living legend, Jeong Jeong, Jeong Jeong the Deserter is what they call him. He was a Fire Nation general, or wait, was he an admiral?"

"He was very highly ranked, we get it." Sokka cuts in.

"Yeah! Way up there! But he couldn't take the madness any more. He's the first person ever to leave the army - and live. Jeong Jeong's a firebending genius. Some say he's mad - but he's not! He's enlightened" i say (while doing the hand motion of "imagination" from sponge bob)

"You mean there's a firebender out here who's not with the Fire Lord?" Aang says standing up "We've gotta go see him! He can train me! " says with a hopeful look in his eyes.

"We're not gonna go find some crazy firebender! " said Sokka

Crazy? I stand up "He's not crazy! He's a genius! And he's the perfect person to train the Avatar! That's why I helped you escape at the festival. "

Sokka stands up "Look, thanks for the help, but we're leaving for the north pole in the morning. "

"Sokka, this could be my only chance to meet a firebending master who would actually be willing to teach me." replied the boy.

Katara standing up as well "It can't hurt just to talk to him.

"That's what you said about going to the festival! Why doesn't anyone ever listen to me!? "

As Sokka turns to walk away from the group, he almost runs right into a spear. In a flash, we are surrounded by men wearing straw hats and armor and wielding spears.

"Don't move!" says one of the men.

"Y/N Jeong Jeong told you not to go to that festival" says Lin Yi.

Sokka looks at us all confused "Hold on, you know these guys!? "

"Oh yeah! Lin Yi's like an uncle! Right Lin Yi?

Lin Yi lowers his spear "Quiet. Keep moving."

I just roll my eyes and follow.

We continue walking, Down the hill, we spot the little hut.

"Go on. He sees you only. " Lin Yi pushes me towards the shack.

I try to hold my ground "Oh that's okay, we can chat later."

"Is that where Jeong Jeong is? I need to talk to him right away. " Aang asks.

Aang begins to move forward, but it stopped by a spear shaft across his path.

"No! You wait" Lin says as he keeps me in "Go now! "

"Okay okay! Don't worry! Everything'll be fine. He's a great man, great man!" I assure them.

I walk into the tent getting ready for the wrath of Master Jeong Jeong.

"Oh hey there Master, hows it going?"

"You disobey my orders and run off into town and for what!?" the flames from his candles gain more flames.

"I just wanted to see what it was like...-"

"And now you bring the Avatar, you know I never wanted anything to do with the boy, he's not ready. He should leave immediately"

"but Master he was in trouble and I knew he would have been safer with us. He's just a boy. Can't you at least see him? He really needs to talk to you. He really thinks you can teach him firebending and so do I"

Jeong Jeong just huffs and turns away.

I head out if the shack to be faced with Aangs hopeful eyes.

"What happened? Can I see Jeong Jeong now? "

I sit down and shake my head. "He won't see you. He's very angry that I brought you here. He wants you to leave immediately. "

"Finally! Let's hit the road." Sokka says as he stretches out his back.

"Why won't he see me? "

"He says you're not ready. Says you haven't mastered waterbending and earthbending yet" I explain.

"Wait, how does he know that?" Aang replied with a surprised look.

"He saw the way you walked into camp. He can tell."

"I'm going in anyway!" Aand starts to walk away towards the shack

I try to reach out "Wait maybe you sho- and he's gone. Hey Sokka, Katara, follow me. I'll take you to your shack. You can rest here for tonight."

----------------------------------------------------

The next morning I go out and I see master Jeong Jeong training Aang. I guess he decided to train him after all.

"Widen your stance. Wider! Bend your knees. Now, concentrate." Jeong Jeong demands. (Aang takes on an expression of concentration) "Good, good! "

Wait! What do I do now? asks the boy.

"Silence! Talking is not concentrating! Look at your friend, is she talking?" (Then, pointing to Sokka) "Even that oaf knows to concentrate on what he's doing!"

Sokka from a far shouts a " Hey! "

"But what am I concentrating on?" Aang asks in confusion.

As I'm watching from the side, I decide to chip in. "Feel the heat of the sun. It is the greatest source of fire. Yet, it is in complete balance with nature."

Aang looks at the sun then turning back to Jeong Jeong, a large smile on his face "So when do I get to make some fire?"

"Concentrate!" Master shouts.

I can't help but giggle. That's Jeong Jeong for you.

-----------------------------------------------

Later in the day Jeong Jeong calls me to his hut. I enter and sit down.

"Y/N I'm afraid our time together will be cut short." He says still facing away.

"What? Why? Suddenly?"

"I knew this day would come. For you to join the Avatar and his friends on his travels to restore order to the world. That is why I resisted to meet the boy. I did not want to let you go"

"Master, I'm not ready to leave you. There is so much I have to learn........Have you given up? Just like my teachers when I was young. I know my bending is a bit different and I still need to learn how to control-"

"No of course I haven't given up on you. My child you are more powerful than you think. For this is the reason I have to let you go with them. With time you will see the wonders of your power, not only through bending but through your spirit as well"

I start to tear up when suddenly Aang enters the hut.

"What are you doing here!? I did not tell you to stop!" said Jeong Jeong

"I've been breathing for hours. " Aang replied.

"You want to stop breathing? " Said Jeong

Honestly i kinda wanted to laugh at the moment but Aang seemed so serious that I held it in.

Angrily throwing his hands wide in a gesture of frustration "I want you to stop wasting my time! I already know how to squat and breathe and feel the sun.I want to know how to shoot fire out of my fingertips! "

Jeong Jeong lowering his head "Ughhhh. I had a pupil once who had no interest in learning discipline."

I put my head down as I remember of the stories he told me about this pupil.

"-He was only concerned with the power of fire ,how he could use it to destroy his opponents and wipe out the obstacles in his path., but fire is a horrible burden to bear. Its nature is to consume and without control it destroys everything around it. Learn restraint, or risk destroying yourself and everything you love"

Aang then leaves the tent and I follow him out.

"Look Aang, Master can be hard on you but he has his reasons for teaching you this way. He really believes in you and just wants to make sure you know what's at stake when you fire bend." I put a hand on his shoulder and give him a small smile "I'm going to go find some wood and fruit for later, see ya"

---------------------------------------------------

Walking along the river side I see some Fire Nation ships aproaching. This is bad news. I let go of whatever was in my hands and darted towards the huts, I find Master with Aang.

"Master! There is trouble. " I say almost out of breath

"What's going on?" Aang asks with a worried look.

"Concentrate on your leaf. Y/N stay here and watch him" says Jeong Jeong as he leaves.

"This is the worst firebending instruction ever. All he does is leave me alone for hours to concentrate or breathe." Aang tells Katara who is on the river's edge near us.

"I'm sure there's a good reason." She reassured.

"But I'm ready to do so much more." Aang continued.

Suddenly Aang's face lights up. He widens his stance and he begins to breathe. He still holds the leaf, which begins to smoke. Suddenly, the leaf bursts into flame and disintegrates. Aang is now holding a fireball in his hand.

"I did it! I made fire!" He exclaimed.

Katara coming closer " Aang, that's great, but you should take it slow."

Aang's expression gets annoyed at this comment, and the flame instantly gets bigger. He and Katara are surprised

"You should be careful!" I tell the boy.

Aang retains control and reduces the flame to its former size, but not before almost falling into the river

"Now that's firebending! " he says with a smile.

Aang then shoots a whip of flame and then begins to juggle his ball of flame happily

"Aang, you'll hurt yourself! You're still new at this" I try to explain.

Aang continuing to play "Wonder how that juggler did it?"

Aang loops the ball around him. It begins a complete circle around him and he pushes it outward. I was able to extinguish the fire headed towards me. Before I knew it the rest of Aangs flame engulfs Katara and burns her hands which she has raised to protect her face. She cries out in pain. Katara crumples to her knees.

"Katara! " Aang shouts. He hops over to her as she cries "I'm so sorry!"

I head over to Katara and Sokka appears by my side.

"Katara, what's wrong!?" He asks. Now looking at Aang angrily "What did you do? "

"iiiit was an accident! I was... Katara, I'm so - " He says as his voice starts to shake.

Sokka cuts him off as he grabs Aang and tackles him to the ground just as Aang tried to put a hand on Katara's shoulder

"I told you we shouldn't mess around with this! Look what you did! You burned my sister!"

Katara gets up and runs away. Aang who looks on, stunned, as she exits.

I wake up from my state of being in shock and grab Sokka from his collar to lift him off Aang. "Listen here Sokka, we get it that it was his fault but it was his first try" I look at Aang sadly. "I know what it's like to not have control over your power and believe me, he feels very sorry for what happened"

Jeong Jeong comes back right on time but Sokka turns to him and blames him for what happened. Did he just ignore me!? I start to feel my skin getting hot but Jeong Jeong appears and gently grabs my arm, wincing a bit as he does. Sokka takes notice. I try to do my breathing technique to calm down and count to 3 in my head.

"I'm sorry, I didn't...-" Sokka walks away "-I'm sorry!"

Jeong Jeong walks away to find Katara.

-------------------------------------

Moments later Katara comes back

"Katara! Are you all right? " Sokka and I ask.

"I'm fine, we've got to get out of here. Where's Aang?"

Sokka thumbs in the direction of the hut. Katara runs down the hill path to Jeong Jeong's hut to talk to Aang

------------------------------------

Aang and I head out to find Jeong Jeong and we see him with someone from the Fire Nation.

"Look at you. You were once so great. I can't believe my former master has become nothing more than a simple savage."

How dare he!

"It is you who have embraced savagery, Zhao." replied JeongJeong

Zhao!? He's that pupil Jeong Jeong always talked about.

"It's Admiral Zhao, now. "

more like Admiral of Side Burns

"That title will not help you against the Avatar. Do not try to fight him! You are no match!"

Zhao starts to laugh "I think I can handle a child."

"I have never seen such raw power. " He replies

"Jeong Jeong! " Aang shouts and I aproach

"We'll see. Men! Take the deserter! "

Jeong Jeong gets surrounded by five of Jeong Jeong's spearmen. Aang tops short in horror as they close in. Jeong Jeong smiles at me and wraps himself in a massive ball of flame. When it dissipates, he is gone.

Zhao angrily shouts "It's a trick! He's run off into the woods. Find him!" Turning to Us . "Let's find out what my old master has taught you kids"

"YOU were Jeong Jeong's student?" Aang says with a surprise

"Until I got bored." Zhao says with a smug.

He launches a fireball at Aang, who dodges that and another and sends some towards me and I quickly make it disappear

"I see he taught you how to duck and run like a coward. But I doubt he showed you what a firebender is truly capable of!"

"Aang, remember what Jeong Jeong said, he has no restraint, lets use that to our advantage, follow my lead" I whisper

He launches another fireball at Aang. It flies over Aang's head as the Avatar produces a flat, spinning whirlwind of air underneath him and balances himself on top of it with one finger.

He fires several more which Aang either dodges or breaks with airbending. Zhao's blasts have torched much of the surrounding forest and the sky fills with smoke.

"Stand and fight!" Zhao demands.

"Oh, were we fighting? I thought you were just getting warmed up." I say with a smirk.

"I was!" He says. He fires many more all of which miss.

Is that all you got? Man, they'll make anyone an admiral these days! " Aang taunts

"Yeah totally, I've seen kids do better"

Zhao launches another errant fire blast with a dreadful noise of frustration. I use my firebending to launch myself up to one of the ships and Aang airbends himself up.

After several failed attempts at attacking us and lots of damage to our surroundings.

"You've lost this battle. " Aang says

"Are you crazy? You haven't thrown a single blow! "

Motioning to my left "No, but you have. " I smile.

Zhao looks to his left and grimaces. Three ships on fire. The first is now sinking fast into the river.

"Jeong Jeong said you had no restraint. " I tell him.

We get off the ship

"Have a nice walk home! " says Aang.

"Aang, come on! " Sokka calls over. Him and Katara on Appa's back.

We run over and hop on.

"Wait! Where's Jeong Jeong?" Aang asked

"He disappeared. They all did. " Sokka replied

"Aang, you're burned. " Katara tells Aang.

He looks down in wonder to see that she is right. His sleeves are torn open and there are burn marks.

"Let me help you. " She says.

She opens her water bottle and wraps some water around her hand. It glows white again. She places it over the burned area , breathes and concentrates. When she lets go the wound is healed. Wow, I've heard stories but never seen a water bender heal up close.

" Wow! That's good water." Aang says amused

"When did you learn how to do that? "

Katara shrugged "I guess I always knew. "

"Oh... well then thanks for all the first aid over the years. Like when I fell into the grease briar bramble and that time I had two fish hooks in my thumb! "

Appa keeps flying us through the late afternoon sky. Sokka continues.

"-Oh, and the time that big snake bit me! Thanks for healing that up. That was great. Really helpful. "

I sit quietly looking back and whisper

" I hope I get to see you again....

grandpa"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry if this was kind of long, but I hope you enjoyed it.

Oh!! And if you guys want any one shot blurbs for ATLA, feel free to dm. Hope you all have a good day (or night)

#atla imagine #atla scenario #zuko imagine #sokka imagine #aang imagine #atla x reader #fire nation #water tribe #earth kingdom #fanfic #atla au

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kuroshitsuji-scenarios · 6 years

Note

Hey! I've just recently binge-read the manga and I've only been following you for a few days but I was wondering if you can you do angst headcanons for Snake and Agni and their s/o when she finds them drunk and tries to console them when they get upset thinking about their pasts. Like, Agni and his regrets pre-Soma and Snake remembering his abusive/lonely upbringing. Oh my gosh writing about those two is making me so sad, those two precious cinnamon rolls who deserve protection and love 😭

I’m a dumbass and I didn’t realize you wanted headcanons so I made scenarios instead but I think this is actually a good mistake. Hope you enjoy anyways!

It worried you a little, the lightspreading on the floor, flowing from under the door leading to Agni’sbedroom in such a late hour. You were on your way just to get a glassof water, since merciless thirst didn’t allow you to sleep anylonger, forcing you to angrily wander through the long corridors, nowdrowned in the utter darkness diffused by the single oil lamp youheld in your hand. It was obvious that the day started for Agni muchearlier than for you, his duties calling out for him right after heopened his eyes but inspite of being a perfect butler and company forhis dear Prince Soma, he needed some rest like every other person.You could already imagine how hard it will be for him to focustomorrow if he still wasn’t sleeping at almost 3 a.m.

You knocked delicately and pushed thehandle, only to blink few times until your still asleep eyes adjustedto the warm lightness filling the bedroom. Agni’s silhouette wasclearly visible, leaned over the desk in almost pitiful manner, whichmade you realize that something has to be terribly wrong. Notbothering by saying anything, you stepped inside and rushed towardhim, placing a hand on his shoulder and causing him to gasp slightly,as if he wasn’t expecting your presence. Peeking at you over theshoulder, you could see how reddened his eyes were, how the tearswere still glistening in them, bringing the cold colour of steel.

„My dear, what has happened?” youinquired, brushing few white strands from his forehead, while hestraightened his back and inhaled deeply, trying to not lose hiscomposure anymore, not in front of you.

„It is nothing you should be concernedof,” was his reply, preceded by a sad smile.

„But I am concerned, nevertheless, soplease, let me help. Tell me what is wrong.”

Agni turned the head toward thecandelabra placed on the desk and almost touched the fire with hisindex finger, losing himself deep in his own thoughts. Few secondspassed and just when you were considering repeating the question, hefinally spoke, his voice a little bit hoarse and low.

„I am a very bad man. I made very badthings.”

„So did everyone,” you told him,sitting at the edge of the desk. „Your mistakes do not define you,they are hard and painful, yes, but they do not define you.”

„Things that I commited aremaking me a bad man,” he objected, looking at you almost angrily,but you knew better that the only anger he felt right now was the oneaimed at himself.

„No, they are not. What is importantis that, you learned your lesson and that you will never do themagain. This is relevant, not your past.”

He sighed, torn between the words he washearing from you, understanding that they were — they had to betrue — and the storm of his own emotions bringing chaos to hisheart. It was hard for him to accept his previous self, to not beable to cut if off and become just whom he was now. Maybe it was hispunishment, the torment created so he would never forget who he was,so he would never lose his path again.

„You are such a wise woman, mydearest…” he admitted, a single spark of happines appearing inhis eyes. „I am delighted to have you by my side and I doubt I willever be able to thank gods for sending you to me.”

You smiled to him and took his hand inyours, feeling how warm it was. This sweet, fleeting affection madehim lean toward you and put his cheek on your stomach, embracing youtightly and holding as close as possible, inhaling the scent of yourbody.

„And I am delighted to be with you,too,” you giggled, placing a hand on his turban, feeling theovewhelming warmness from where your bodies connected in such anintimate, magical moment when both your souls and minds kissed.

„I may not be able to change my past,”he continued quietly, stroking your side through the fabric of yournightgown. „But I will make sure that our future is as bright asthe sun. I want to grow old with you, my dearest, and spend my whole,new life with you.”

„Then we will grow old together. Thereis no need to worry about who we were because there are so manydecades of happiness ahead and I will love you in every single one ofthem.”

Snake hasn’t been seen anywhere sincethe morning and when he didn’t appear in the kitchen to help indinner preparations, you started to worry about him. It wasn’t thatuncommon for him to disappear from time to time, preferably to havesome time for himself and focus on his thoughts, but it never lastedfor almost half of the day. Plus, none of his snakes were anywherenearby and that was the reason why you asked Mey Rin to do your partof the job until you will be back from looking for him.

The rain poured outside but it didn’tstop you from running through the gardens with hysterically beatingheart when you still couldn’t find him in the mansion. Ignoring thewet hair on your face, droplets soaking through your clothes and somewater in your shoe, you reached to the glasshouse, lead by someunnamed feeling that this is a place where he might be.

After stepping inside, you immediatelyfelt the sultriness and scent of growing fruits, vegetables andherbs. Round tomatoes hanging from the sprouts, almost ready to bepicked, green cucumbers laying on the ground, leafs of the radishpeeking over the earth right next to the carrot’s and beetroot’s onesand finally, at the other end of the glasshouse, mint, sage, dill andonions with straightening chives. The sound of raindrops hitting thetransparent roof drown out your steps on the soft, dark ground,bending under your weight when you approached Snake, sittingpeacefully on the of the wooden benches and staring blankly at thebushes of aromatic basil.

„Snake?” you asked, but only Goetheon his shoulder turned his head curiously toward you. „Are youalright? What are you doing here?”

„I was wondering,” he answered andyou caught yourself on waiting for him to add the: „said Goethe”part which never came.

Oh dear, it was serious.

Slowly, you took a seat next to him andlooked at his profile, not finding there anything beside terrifyingemptiness. You pariently let him think, not pushing him intospeaking, aware that it would only do the opposite.

„I was wondering when I will stopbeing alone.”

You opened your mouth and immediatelyclosed it, considering what could you say to him to not harm hisfeelings nor make him feel worse than he already felt. You couldn’tgive him easy answers, the ones he heard many times in his life,before everyone who said that disappeared, you had to be differentand you had to prove him that.

„I am here. I am always here if youneed me and I do not plan on leaving anywhere.”

„Those are almost exact words myfamily said before they left me in the circus.”

Your heart clenched painfully in yourchest, a lump suddenly growing in your throat.

„They said I was the part of theirfamily. That I was one of them and I won’t be alone anymore. Andwhere are they now? They are all gone.”

Without a word you hugged him, naïvelyhoping that if you held him strong enough, he won’t shatter apart infront of you, but the only thing you felt, was how his body startedto tremble. At first you thought that he was crying but one look athis face was enough to understand that he was simply mad, so upsetthat the life has always been so unfair for him and him alone.

„Iwant them to come back,” he muttered, as if unconsciously. „Smilesaid that he will find them but it has been three years now. Exactlythree years since I am there. He won’t find them, will he? They won’tcome back…”

„Ilove you,” was the only thing you could say that came to your mindin that moment. You couldn’t find better words to describe yourfeelings, to comfort him because nothing was good enough. The path hewas on, was made to be walked alone and all you could to was to holdhis hand, promising yourself that no matter what, you can not leavehim — even if it meant fighting the death itself.

„Ilove you,” you repeated. „I will always love you. I will be yourfamily from now on and I won’t let anyone hurt you, not you norGoethe or Emily or Oscar or Wordsworth or Keats or Donne. Notanymore.”

His armslowly leaned on your shoulder and the slight squeeze he gave you wasa sign that he was probably going to be alright, just like he alwaysdid.

„Thankyou. I think I love you, too,” he whispered. „Says Goethe.”

#kuroshitsuji-scenarios #kuroshitsuji #black butler #agni #snake #humans #scenarios #agni x reader #snake x reader #reader insert

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1-800-444-tune · 5 years

Text

New Moon is going to be according to my status calculations on my app on my Windows tablet , at 3: 41am on the 6th of March, coming up, in zodiac sidereal for the New Moon is Aquarius. Predictions and more details to be posted later this week as I gather evidence and write my article.

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I only post the daily card of the day for tarot then a few other specials daily, and weekly but everything else I am currently putting on hold until I can at least afford some damn toilet paper. Because I just am not dealing with helping out a bunch of people with their super important questions for free when I do not get help myself for the things I truly need, don't you think my not having fucking toilet paper is a little bit more of an emergency than whether your boyfriend or non boyfriend likes you and you're truly actually meant to be with them, I have to apologize in advance if I seem like I'm being selfish, or rude. Please, I intend to not do any harm by bringing up this fact. Only voicing that I too, have maybe, maybe just maybe, bigger problems than your issues that I think are pure selfish things st this moment in time I'm real sorry that I do feel this way, maybe being broke has made me bitter a tad ... I don't know, cause I used to always go out of my way to assist anybody even if I did not know them, and I'd concentrate on their problems more than mine always focusing on helping others instead of helping myself, now I am purely from the heart, just reaching out for just some compassionate, you do not have to donate much just 3$ or more would get me through the day, 10$ could get me the toilet paper plus my dignity. Today. So if you feel like helping a lost soul out here in the Galaxy.

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Hey everyone I just want to say I care deeply about each and every tumblr blogger on here, and I sincerely hope the best for you always, and right now I am doing little candle prayer magik to send you all some healing and luck , and if you do decide to donate, just simply write to my ask box your about you donated and I will be doing a super special ritual tonight (for another reason, personal worship) but I will include your name personally into my piece , and you will truly I swear notice something great happen to you by the time of the New Moon, on the 6th like I wrote at the top of this post

I really actually did not intend for this post to get so long or go on about my personal issue, also I'd like to remind you not to judge a book by its cover, I have huge medical bills and current legal fees that I am trying so very hard to keep up with, this is a really really hard time for me, personally I am not even wanting the morning to come when I go to bed at night. I feel borderline suicidal, if that isn't hard times, I don't know what is... and I'm not even looking for sympathy, or anyone to feel anything towards me except knowing my strength of how far I've come and acknowledgement for this strength that I, an unpredictably unstable mentally ill woman of faith, have come so far from where I used to be and made it through my spiritual awakening which I thought was truly the end of the world it was doomsday dread style scary shit ! But I made it out alive! And now I am a much more magical person because I'm so blessed with my true path of destiney realised again this issue feelings of wehen I was a young teenager, it's like I get to start fresh as new beginning, I actually got a real second chance at life, because if you knew me really knew me, you'd know, that, I had strayed off the great path and was walking along a fine line where I was in constant danger daily. Hourly. I was always in harms way, just on the darkest side of life, depressed and not living for myself at all. I was not trusting my intuition, I was being abused and bullied all the time. And that constant abuse tore holes through my personality and literally metaphorically emotionally ripped me right apart inside and out. I was such a mess I hit rock bottom anxiety struck me harsh but it was good for me in the end because at rock bottom, you have no other choice but to rise up from where you currently are, it's such a true realization, but the main thing is I had gotten better from the abuse, and left finally the abusive relationship and all the other abusive people in my life because as I was going up n up no choice but up, I was gradually actually slipping into my divine timed spiritual awakening which shook my world.

My journey to progression and eventually getting back onto my rightful birth path, my destiny too, this all started my spiritual awakening and shifts in consciousness, I was truly blessed to be cursed at this time. It all started when I went to the homeless shelter in april 2018, just before my birthday it's like surreal how it was all so planned out like this, it's crazy, if you guys only knew the whole entire story of what I have gone through and the truly horrific events that I now realised were all tests, and lessons, and that's my favorite way to look at my very abusive past and the unfortunate circumstances that wound me up a homeless addict on the streets of cities I dwelled in for times that seemed so rough and brutal I thought the pain would never end. Addiction can happen to anybody. But this is something that I actually feel in my soul that I was supposed to, meant to, go through. To realize some things, I had to experience this hard lifestyle. For me to eventually get to a place of gratitude and humility and to actually drop all my selfish ways and have more compassion, and learn that I am meant to have these traits because I am a great healer. In my community I live in currently, a lot of them know my past but do not judge me one bit, they all truly appreciate my free community services that I provide for those in need, they are all suffering from mental health issues and I am treating them (not so much their mental condition but other problems they have at home or with their body) . I am really good at working with herbs, spices, and essential oils. I make and invent cures to almost anything! And I have a biig book of herbal remedies that I, myself , have invented or have found online and then tweaked the recipe to bed much better!! This is volume. 001.2 of my Book Of Shadows. I have written so very many books about magik and the laws of the universe. I cherish my sacred personal theories and extensive wealth of knowledge I have collected. I'm just good at organizing this shit for some reason. If I wasn't so private of a person and afraid of people stealing my information without my consent then I would gladly post more of this type of stuff then I already have,in this blog and my other one which is personally a better one.

Anyways, now you know where I stand, where I come from a little bit.

I really really hope that somebody will take the time to donate to me this day so that I may be I can feel better and like somebody actually cares. I have over spent to the max on credit cards with online shopping, and shipping all kinda of witchy trinkets and necessities, the basics, I am stuck with a huge credit card bill, and I have my boyfriends credit card that I did not know until yesterday, but, he put everything to be on me. He totally used my Health Card and SIN # TO GET WHATEVER HE WANTED BUYING SHUT ONLINE AND SHIPPING TECH STUFF TO HIS FRIEND! I feel like I got scammed and I'm damned or something !! Not only am going to be suffering from PTSD and anxiety around men forever, because of this selfish Identity use basically total FRAUD, I AM NOW stuck in a bad position and with a bill and now the worst part is that I am actually facing federal prison because of some of the activity he did while assuming my identity ?.. thanks ?

I feel very very stupid, I feel like a total idiot for listening to my ex-commonlaw boyfriend, I'm glad I just decided to give him literally all of the furniture and all the shit we owned. It makes me feel less guilty about all the negative emotions I have towards him. I know it does not make it right but it does help believe it or not, because J eventually end up thinking about it as a positive .

If you have at least got this far through this rambling write up post , then congratulations, sincerely- thankyou for listening !

You are amazing

You have a purpose

Find your destiny

☆you're made of star stuff, you're a star!

You are perfectly imperfect

Your magic is valid

No matter who you are or how experienced you are in Pagan Tradition /Wicca and Witchcraft/The Occult or any related subjects and interests in lifestyle choices, your magic is valid! It doesn't matter if you JUST decided to become a witch TODAY or 5 minutes ago, that title is yours to hold onto and have forever or for as long as you decide!

Everybody is special!

Everyone is worth it!

Nobody deserves to be bullied or told they are wrong for what they believe in, simply , everyone's path is unique and it's just not four to critic anybody for the path they are choosing! There's a lot of confused witchlings baby witches and some bullying religious type overgrown babies out there. I think everyone should just have a little more like a lot more respect , because it can be intimidating to anybody who wants to share their opinions that they might feel are good ideas but are second guessing the post they want to make based on fear around the way some communities are reacting and trying to police these people's opinions. As far as I know this blog site was actually created to actually share your opinions without judgement and harsh exchange of words based on the content context. I can relate to this oppression. I feel as if not only does it sometimes the fear of rejection stop me from posting but also I have a big fear of being hated on for a lengthy and slightly random post I write it then I delete it right away. It's just that I actually have severe symptoms of A.D.D that my doctor is not currently helping me to treat, so I can get a bit off track sometimes, and my subjects vary like for example in my main post it starts as a simple astro galactic observations post, my starting of this post I just realize was about the New Moon . Then I started talking about my software that I cannot afford and then i went on to talk about my emergency thats actually bothering me even more , the fact that i cannot wipe my ass today and i do not live near any restursnts or anywhrr literally that has toilet paper availible in their washroom or else id just go to McDonalds and use theur washroom, simple as that...but not availible sorry, and now that im still rambling ans have your attention i have an offer actually for some people that do donate, I'd like people to donate towards so that I can provide a few lucky people with

Free Natal Astral Chart plus some informative explanations about your planetary alignments with accurate predictions to your life. I could eventually provide a much more accurate source of information in my reports than I do with this program I'm running off my laptop as of right now, but currently if you'd like a real actual Astrologer like produced Natal Chart , I am calling everyone to donate to this account here www.paypal.com/4tunef8 and let me know in my ask box that you have donated to my space cosmos exploration programming software .

This is getting way too long I know, but if you really did actually read some of this message at least the good parts, then please share my link to my paypal in your blog with a short excerpt on why they should donate to me , my cause, my business (just started) , and also donate to the astraunomer cosmos Explorer Division Technology that I am so very excited about but I know I have way bigger problem,than, that, but I just wanted to give you guys an idea if what I can do for you. We can make a trade? Please!? To dedicate my time and efforts to assisting every one with their issues gives me great joy, I just love to be useful, and a helping healing hand to any literally anybody , and so ooo much of my days are spent spending my hard earned money on others . To make them that herbal remedy for their skin they truly need because every skincare product on the market is littered with toxic shit that causes bad reactions and the treatments for acne I make that I've invented do not infect or irritate the skin, so they need me, and they cannot afford this 290$ treatment but I actually spend MY money each month just to get the satisfaction of doing the right thing as nd also satisfaction that my products produce results that are beyond what I ever expected of them, sometimes I need a confidence booster and this once a month or twice sometimes, spending I do to make and create this great acne treatment that's herbal and more of a holistic approach.

My greatest flaw right now is not my addiction or the abuse I'm going through anymore, I don't live on the streets (yet) have a pretty decent apartment but my greatest flaw is helping people if that can even be a flaw? It is though, I have so many many more examples of times during the month that I am called up "hey witch doctor, we got a problem, are you free?"

I am on paranormal investigating teams in surrounding communities as well, this takes out so much energy, time, and yes, you guessed it, money !!

Anyways again I am actually going to close this rant ramble weird thoughts flowing from my mentally ill mind.

I truly truly hope that somebody, just 1 person even, does decide to care enough about me , a poor lost soul, to donate some about, it's all up to you, I'm not putting any rules and I just am not one to tell people what to do or how to spend their hard earned dollars or anything like I do not push ideas onto people, I'm just not like that, I totally believe in freedom for all, I don't wish for world peace at night because I know that that isn't possible, there's some cultures that just do not mix and a lot of cultures prefer to stick to their own and that's great because how else would the culture survive and the traditions live on to the next generations if they were mixed with a bunch of other cultures and lost their true identities as a nation , that would be sort of sad in a way, but I'm really not properly medicated and should not even maybe be observational posting about this when in not well in the mind fully yet this day. But a donation will help me to wipe my ass and that's my main goal.

Kk,baiii, don't hate, just donate #freefaeona #donation #astrology #worldwide #tarotreading

Ps: Actually ANYBODY that donates me more than 10$ today and the rest of the week too, I have an offer, I will do a FREE TAROT READING OF 3 FREE QUESTIONS FOR YOU, BECAUSE I APPRECIATE YOU SO MUCH!!

And anybody that shares my link to my paypal explaining that I'm giving free tarot Readings to anyone that's gunna donate! I will give you a YEARS HOROSCOPE OUTLOOK, BASED ON MY VERY ACCURATE SOURCES OF GENERATED HOROSCOPES I RECIEVE THEY'RE THE SAME ONES I USED TO POST ON HERE SO YOU KNOW THEY'RE GUNNA BE GOOD, THEN

Anybody that donates and says it's towards my astro-cosmos software, I'll do up a FREE ABSOLUTELY, JUST THE COST OF YOUR DONATION, I'LL DO YOUR NATAL BIRTH CHART FOR YOU, WITH THE SEMIPRO PROGRAM I HAVE RIGHT NOW,

So there's my offers and anybody that blogs about these offers and tags me in them, is just an amazing person and gets the luckiest prize of all, they get entered into a draw to win a free natal chart birth chart wow yeah and and and I'm gunna give an astrology reading to you very reliable accurate information details you will WANT TO KNOW!!

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