#id rather just sew the thing myself (which i will not do) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ourlittledinosaur · 6 years

Text

Getting Stuff Done With (Not Despite) Your Child

New Post has been published on http://ourlittledinosaur.com/getting-stuff-done-with-not-despite-your-child/

Getting Stuff Done With (Not Despite) Your Child

I Didn’t Enter Into Motherhood Gracefully

It finally happened. 15 months. I had time. Not long. Just a few minutes where I could do whatever I wanted.

And you know what happened? I hadn’t a clue what to do with myself!

If I’ve learned anything since my son was brought into this world, it’s that I have to give myself a lot of grace. I’m not very good at that. I want to be SuperMom and somehow anything short of that makes me feel guilty.

I want to keep a perfectly neat and tidy home. (The true disillusion is thinking I really did this even BEFORE beginning my parenthood journey!)

I want to have energy to do the 272 projects on my list, including sewing, and crafting, and learning new skills.

I want to invest in all my family and friendships and have a freezer meal prepped for every occasion and be able to give my time. The saying, “It’s the thought that counts” has never meant more to me than it does in this phase of life.

The truth is, my house is a mess. The dogs don’t get the same attention they did before my son was born, granted now that he’s old enough, they get love from my son too. I am not the greatest or most present friend these days. I’m not as helpful at get-togethers as I used to be. I feel tired and unmotivated often, especially in the evenings after my baby boy is asleep.

It IS Getting Easier

All this to say, I can look back to this time last year or even six months ago and realize that it is getting easier. Putting it all in perspective, this is just a phase, and chances are I will be able to accomplish more this time next year than I can right now…just as I can do more now than I could with a three month old.

However, the fact remains, I can never go back, so trying to accomplish things in the same way I used to probably isn’t a realistic approach. How I get things accomplished is definitely morphing and, from what I can tell by observing my friends with multiple children, a skill to be learned and perfected over time.

My Little Helper

I’m trying to have the attitude of doing things with my son, rather than despite him being around.

Here is one example. Instead of waiting for him to go to sleep to switch out a load of laundry, I simply include him in the task. Sure it takes longer, but it’s actually made the task much more enjoyable, and the bonus is I get to teach my son life skills, which is as important to his development as learning his colors and shapes.

It’s actually really cute. I open the dryer and washer doors and hand him the clean, damp laundry a few at a time and he puts them in the dryer for me. Then he closes the doors to both and to the laundry room (sometimes not before pushing all the dinging buttons) as well.

Still Figuring it Out

Other tasks are more difficult, like doing dishes. I haven’t figured that one out yet, although now when I am prepping the food for dinner, I put him on a step-stool so he can watch. He also has taken on the role of taste-tester while doing this. I got this idea from a friend (who is such a graceful mother) and it has changed how soon I can get dinner on.

So, that’s where we’re at 15 months. As always, our ever-changing family is a beautiful work in progress.

What about you?

How has parenthood changed how you do things?

Like this post? Help us and others by Sharing!

Share List

SGMB_URL = "/wp-content/plugins/social-media-pro/"; jQuery(".dropdownWrapper").hide(); SGMB_GOOGLE_ACOUNT = "UA-88059982-5"; jQuery(document).ready(function($)var widget = new SGMBWidget();widget.show("id":"1","title":"Share All","options":"currentUrl":"1","url":"","shareText":"I really enjoyed this, I think you will too!","fontSize":"20","betweenButtons":"1px","theme":"classic","sgmbButtonsPosition":"bottomCenter","socialTheme":"classic","icon":"default","buttonsPanelEffect":"No Effect","buttonsEffect":"tada","iconsEffect":"No Effect","buttons":"\"mewe\":\"label\":\"Share\",\"icon\":\"default-mewe\",\"stumbleupon\":\"label\":\"Share\",\"icon\":\"default-stumbleupon\",\"email\":\"label\":\"E-mail\",\"icon\":\"default-email\",\"linkedin\":\"label\":\"Share\",\"icon\":\"default-linkedin\",\"pinterest\":\"label\":\"Pin this\",\"icon\":\"default-pinterest\",\"tumblr\":\"label\":\"Post\",\"icon\":\"default-tumblr\",\"twitter\":\"label\":\"Tweet\",\"icon\":\"default-twitter\",\"via\":\"\",\"hashtags\":\"#parenthood\",\"twitterFollow\":\"twitterFollowShowCounts\":\"\",\"setLargeSizeForTwitterFollow\":\"on\",\"followUserName\":\"OurLilDinosaur\",\"facebook\":\"label\":\"Share\",\"icon\":\"default-facebook\"","roundButton":"","showLabels":"","showCounts":"on","showCenter":"on","showButtonsAsList":"","sgmbDropdownColor":"","sgmbDropdownLabelFontSize":"14","sgmbDropdownLabelColor":"","showButtonsOnEveryPost":"on","selectedOrExcluded":"","showButtonsOnEveryPage":"","textOnEveryPost":"Like this post? Help us and others by Sharing!","showButtonsOnCustomPost":"","textOnCustomPost":"","showButtonsOnMobileDirect":"on","showButtonsOnDesktopDirect":"on","sgmbSelectedPages":[""],"sgmbExcludedPosts":[""],"sgmbSelectedCustomPosts":[],"showButtonsInPopup":"","titleOfPopup":"Please share it!","descriptionOfPopup":"Go ahead and share our site if you liked it!","showPopupOnLoad":"","showPopupOnScroll":"","showPopupOnExit":"","openSecondsOfPopup":"","googleAnaliticsAccount":"UA-88059982-5","buttonOptions":"mewe":"label":"Share","icon":"default-mewe","stumbleupon":"label":"Share","icon":"default-stumbleupon","email":"label":"E-mail","icon":"default-email","linkedin":"label":"Share","icon":"default-linkedin","pinterest":"label":"Pin this","icon":"default-pinterest","tumblr":"label":"Post","icon":"default-tumblr","twitter":"label":"Tweet","icon":"default-twitter","via":"","hashtags":"#parenthood","twitterFollow":"twitterFollowShowCounts":"","setLargeSizeForTwitterFollow":"on","followUserName":"OurLilDinosaur","facebook":"label":"Share","icon":"default-facebook","button":["mewe","stumbleupon","email","linkedin","pinterest","tumblr","twitter","twitterFollow","facebook"], 4, '', '/wp-content/plugins/social-media-pro//img/no-image.png', '', ''); );

jQuery(".socialMediaOnEveryPost").addClass("sgmb-center")

#Parenthood #Parenting Advice #Teaching and Guiding our Children

0 notes

flightfoot · 3 years

Text

Forgetting Enemies, Rediscovering Friends - Ch. 1

AO3

Thanks to @khanofallorcs for betaing! Set in @buggachat Bakery Enemies AU, before the wine arc.

The morning had started off fine. Marinette had been working on a new design to showcase her talents. A black dress with green trim—great for any occasion.

(Only the most keen-eyed observers would find the small paw print embroidered on the inside of one of the sleeves)

Adrien was hard at work in the kitchen, as usual. Probably plotting how best to steal the Miracle Box, or make her meet the same fate as his mother or—or some other nefarious end. Yes. He must be. No one could be THAT nice, not after everything he went through. It had to be fake.

*beep beep*

Marinette blinked. Her stomach twisted. “The Akuma Alert app? But it can’t be- unless-”

A video popped up, showing the new threat.

“Don’t be bemused, it’s just the news! Past Pirate has made the trip from the U.S. all the way to our fair city of Paris. With Ladybug and Chat Noir still missing, we can only hope that other superheroes arrive soon, before everyone in the city forgets who they are.”

Ah.

Not an akuma or sentimonster, then. Just a random supervillain that thought the absence of Miraculous wielders made Paris an easy target.

Somehow that didn’t make her feel better. At least if it was a sentimonster, she might’ve been able to catch Adrien in the act, prove that he was evil, and recover the lost Miraculous. This- this she could do nothing about.

She was useless.

*beep beep*

A text warning popped up, issuing an evacuation order. A giant orb had been spotted near Collège Françoise Dupont, one that looked very, very similar to the one Oblivio had threatened the city with, all those years ago.

Marinette suspected it served the same function.

She needed to get out of there, NOW.

Her parents were out at dinner on the other side of the city, so hopefully they’d be safe?

The only ones here were her and-

Oooooh crap.

Her and ADRIEN.

...He’d be fine on his own. Right? He got to work every morning after all. He could evacuate on his own.

But his apartment had to be close by, close enough that it’d be in the evacuation order, too. He’d have to go to some public place for cover.

During a supervillain attack.

With a lot of people scared and worried and having flashbacks to what his father did.

...and with him having one of the most recognizable faces in Paris.

Crap.

She was gonna have to take him with her, wasn’t she?

She hurried downstairs. Adrien was already putting on his coat, getting ready to run out the door.

“Wait!”

He froze. An instant later, he turned around. “Marinette? You’ve gotta get out of here, the supervillain-”

She nodded. “I know, come with me.”

He blinked. “Are— are you sure? You don’t need to put up with me just because we’re both heading out, I can go a different direction if it’s more comfortable for you.” His voice dropped. “I know you probably have some trauma associated with what my father did and this situation isn’t helping.”

Why did Adrien have to be so unfailingly nice?!

Marinette shook her head. “My parents would be devastated if something happened to you and I- I don’t want you hurt, either,” she got out in a rush. “I don’t want you out there alone.”

Adrien stared at her, startled. His eyes softened. “Thank you, Marinette.”

Her face heated up. “Po Noblem!” She shook her head. “I—I mean, no problem! Anyone would do it.”

He shook his head. She didn’t have time to think about that before she grabbed his hand, running out the door.

And into a purple beam blast.

-------

Blinking rapidly, he looked around.

He appeared to be on a street… somewhere and—

A purple blast hit a few feet away from his head.

Right. Get out of here first, figure out what was going on second. Maybe he’d find someone else someplace AWAY from the scary light blasts.

He attempted to run down the street and away from whatever the purple blast thing was.

“WAAAAH!”

Attempt at running: failed. Attempt at finding someone else: success!

He winced. “Sorry I dragged you down. Didn’t realize I was holding your hand.”

The girl nodded, eyes wide, still on top of him where she landed. “What’s going on? Who are you?” Her breath caught. “Who am I?”

“I… have no idea.” He admitted. “I don’t remember anything before a minute ago.”

Another purple blast fired. He flinched. “I don’t think sticking around here is a good idea. Let’s get somewhere a little safer first, THEN try to figure out who we are.”

She nodded, getting up and pulling him to his feet. She didn’t let go of his hand. “This way?” she asked, pointing away from where the blast had fired from, down the street the direction he’d tried to run.

He nodded.

They booked it, running in unison, automatically adjusting their gait to exactly match their companion’s.

After they’d gotten some distance away, they slowed down, huffing and puffing from the exertion.

“You think that’s far enough?” the girl asked.

He shrugged.

She started digging through her purse. He blinked, tilting his head. “What’re you looking for?”

She didn’t look up, sticking her tongue out the side of her teeth, appearing to concentrate even harder.

It was adorable.

Huh?

Well, he HAD been holding her hand when he woke up…

“This!” she said triumphantly, holding up her ID card.

He shelved his previous line of thought. For now, at least.

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng? Nice to run into you, Marinette!”

She giggled. “I enjoyed falling for you too, uh…”

His face heated up. “Let me check.”

After looking through a few of his coat pockets (one of which held some cheese. Did he normally like the gooey food that much? It didn’t look that appetizing to him right now) he at last located his own ID. “Adrien Agreste.”

“You have anything else that’s useful?” Marinette asked.

“Let’s see…”

After emptying out his pockets, he concluded he had his phone, ID, that piece of Camembert, a debit and credit card, and 70 Euros.

“Well, at least we’re not memoryless AND broke,” Marinette commented.

“What about you?” he asked.

“Well…”

She proceeded to pull out several cookies, a sewing kit, a first aid kit, duct tape, an umbrella, a few items that he felt he should recognize that Marinette hastily stuck back in her purse, saying they weren’t relevant to this situation, and a small black box with an intricate red design on the top, as well as her phone and wallet.

Adrien looked critically at the mass of items. “I don’t think all that should be able to fit in that tiny purse.”

Marinette looked at the objects she had pulled out. Then looked at her purse. Her brow furrowed. “Yeah, I think you’re right. Especially that umbrella. Doesn’t matter how I put that in, it shouldn’t fit. Plus that box- that wasn’t there when I first started rooting through my purse, I’m sure of it!”

He tilted his head. “It wasn’t?”

“I’d shoved everything around a few times,” she explained, “trying to see to the bottom of it. The first few times I didn’t see it, though there WAS some black fabric in the way - that was the umbrella - and once I pulled the umbrella up, well, there it was, lying beneath it.”

“Anything inside it?”

Marinette opened it.

“Nothing,” she said, disappointed. “Just two indentations where something used to be.”

Adrien peered at Marinette. “Maybe it’s the casing for your earrings?”

She startled. “My earrings?”

Reaching up a hand, she felt her ears. “Maybe? Let me see.”

Taking them off, she set them in the box. They fit perfectly.

They also looked different.

“Spotted earrings?” he wondered. “They didn’t look like that before.”

Marinette blinked. “They didn’t?”

He shook his head. “They were black before, not red with black spots.”

“Maybe the lighting just made them look weird?”

“Maybe…”

He looked more critically at Marinette’s ears. “Wait. Something’s weird here, too.”

“Here?”

“With your ears.”

“What’s wrong with my ears?!” she said, sounding on the edge of panic.

“Feel where the earrings were, where you took them out of.”

She shot him a puzzled look, but complied, feeling her lobe, then her entire ear. “Where were they?” she wondered. “I can’t find the holes.”

“Exactly. I can’t see them either.”

“Hold on, let me try something,” she said.

Picking up the earrings, she put them back. “Oh that is WEIRD.”

“How’d you do that?” Adrien asked. He still hadn’t seen the holes she was using, not until the earrings were in again.

“I just let my muscle memory do the talking. I wasn’t threading them through a hole or anything, I just stuck them where I felt like they should go and then— then they were there.”

“They’re back to looking black, too,” Adrien said, squinting.

“Wonder whether your earrings are the same?” Marinette said, looking at him - or rather, at his ears.

Adrien felt his ears, his fingers hitting metal. “Huh. Didn’t know I was wearing them, too. Let’s give it a try.”

He wasn’t quite as fast at removing them as she was, needing a moment to unhook and align them so they’d slide out smoothly. He held them out to her. “Did their look change?”

She shook her head. “No, they still look the same.” Looking closer at his ears, she noted, “I can see the holes left behind, too. I don’t think your earrings have the same weird properties as mine.”

“A purse that can hold more than it should, earrings that change color and leave no mark— maybe it’s magic?” Adrien wondered.

Marinette opened her mouth, looking somewhat indignant - then closed it. “I… can’t come up with a better explanation. Don’t know why I’d have some magical objects, though.”

“Maybe you’re a witch?”

“Do those even exist?”

“No idea.”

“It doesn’t feel like the right term. These are just magical objects, right?” she said. “I might not have any magical powers myself.”

“You think anything else has magical properties?” he asked.

“Let’s see…”

After messing about with the duct tape, wallet, and umbrella for awhile, they concluded that, if they had magic, they were keeping it well-concealed. Unless “closing unexpectedly” was the umbrella’s magical power.

“Any of your things secretly magic?” she asked him. “We checked your earrings, but what about everything else?”

He tried stuffing things into his coat pockets, but they only held as much as one would expect them to. The wallets didn’t have anything special, and the only thing ‘magical’ about the cheese was how much it stank outside of its plastic baggie.

As he was putting it back in the bag (trying not to gag), he glanced at his hand, noticing a silver ring.

Figuring he might as well, he slid it off.

Light ran over it, turning it from silver to black, with a green pawprint on its face.

“You have one, too!” Marinette cried happily.

He nodded, feeling a warmth in his core. Whatever was going on, he was the same as her. “Guess I’ve got magic, too.”

“Think they do anything except change color?” Marinette asked.

Adrien shook the ring for a minute. “If it does, I have no idea how to activate it,” he concluded.

“Let’s move onto our phones, then,” Marinette said, turning hers on. A lockscreen popped up.

She hesitated for a moment as Adrien winced. “That suc-”

Marinette smiled deviously. “Not so fast.” She breathed on it, showing the most common pathways her finger traveled. Swiftly she followed the path, unlocking her phone.

Adrien’s heart went pitter-patter. “Brilliant!” he told her, copying her idea and unlocking his own phone.

“I don’t have a lot of contacts,” he told her, turning it to face her. “Only four people.”

G, Chloé Bourgeois, Sabine Cheng, and Tom Dupain. That was it. “You’re not even in here,” he told Marinette. “Though I’m guessing Sabine and Tom are your parents, at least?”

She scrolled through her own contact list. It was far more extensive than his, easily over a hundred contacts. “Yeah, they are,” she said, comparing the picture for ‘Maman’ with the one Adrien used for Sabine, and the one she used for ‘Papa’ to the one he used for Tom.

“Maybe we should call them?” he suggested. “Especially since they know both of us. Maybe they can help!”

She nodded, clicking on the Call button for Maman.

“Hello?” she asked, sounding nervous.

“Marinette? Are you okay? Is Adrien with you? I hadn’t checked my phone until just now, I had it on silent. You’ve evacuated from the bakery, right? Without Ladybug around to fix everything, who knows when everyone hit by Past Pirate will recover their memories!”

“I’m— well I’m mostly fine, Maman, I got away from the purple blasts. I’m guessing those were from Past Pirate? Adrien and I lost our memories, though. What should we do?”

“Oh. Oh NO.” Sabine sounded horrified. “That’s very, very dangerous, especially for Adrien.”

“Why is it dangerous for me?” he asked.

“Oh, Adrien! Glad to hear from you,” Sabine said, relieved. She hesitated, appearing to choose her words carefully. “Your father—he did some very bad things. Things that people blame you for, despite having no part in them. You’re very recognizable, too. If people see you, they could react badly.”

“People blame Adrien for what his father did? That’s terrible! Why would they do that?” Marinette said, flabbergasted.

Sabine suddenly sounded very awkward. “Well, dear, sometimes people have trauma and it just latches onto innocent people, even when it’s undeserved. They’re wrong, but I wouldn’t judge them too harshly.”

Marinette still looked indignant. “That doesn’t excuse treating him badly!”

Sabine coughed. “Yes. Well. Just be careful. Maybe try to find a disguise for Adrien if you can, before wandering into public areas? Until you’re back home and this crisis is abated.”

Marinette muttered quietly, “He shouldn’t HAVE to.” More loudly, she told Sabine. “Yes, Maman. I have everything I need for that.”

Adrien could practically feel Sabine beaming through the phone. “You’re always prepared, aren’t you?”

Marinette smiled. “Hopefully I’ll see you soon, with my memory intact.”

Stowing her phone, she reached for her sewing kit. “One disguise, coming right up!”

#forgetting enemies rediscovering friends #bakery enemies au #ml fanfic #Miraculous ladybug #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #adrienette

61 notes · View notes

maryellencarter · 3 years

Text

So the final cause, if I recall my Aristotle (I was terrible at Aristotelian logic, or at least at what the badly illustrated homeschool textbook said was Aristotelian logic), was that my apartment has been growing irregularly more squalorous for months. Occasionally I would have a bout of energy and put my groceries in the pantry, but for the most part I've been doing well to keep up on the laundry. The proximal cause was... probably the coloring books.

Anyway, this morning I put on pants that were not sweatpants, probably for the first time in months, because going to get vaccinated is a festal occasion and one ought to look one's best. (I put on my cute top with the frilly shoulder straps and the little rosettes, too, since I figured it'd be smart to wear something sleeveless. And my combat boots with the pastel tiedye laces, in case of hiking, which also turned out to be smart. I was decked out.)

So then I went and showed a number of people my ID and my appointment email, and they poked me with a timy needle -- not as small as the one they used in the ER for the insulin that time, I didn't even feel that one, but a very nice thin needle compared to my usual standard of needles, which are the ones they use to try and get blood *out* of you, and often fail when you are me. Then they made me sit down for fifteen minutes in case I took an allergy, and then they gave me a lollipop (I got blue cotton candy, my favorite flavor) and a sticker with a hashtag on it and I left.

Then I got to wend my way back from the place where the vaccinations were happening -- it was a big event on the college campus, since they have a lot of nice big rooms and wide open spaces there -- and it happened I was coming back from a direction I do not usually wend my way from, and I dropped into Michaels. Usually I go to Joann's, because they have fabric, which Michaels doesn't, and Michaels is generally a bit froofier in the sorts of craft supplies they stock at least locally, but the Michaels and the Joann's are right across the street from each other, and I still haven't heard anything about my special order on the floss color that Joann's was out of. Michaels doesn't have the full range of DMC colors, but I took a look and they did in fact have the color I needed.

Then I wandered around some, because Michaels actually does have a bigger yarn selection than Joann's, and I found some Patons Kroy (my absolute favorite sock yarn for feel and texture) in a colorway I didn't loathe, which is *not* something I've been able to find since they stopped making that one colorway with all the orange and black and gray stripes, which I loved dearly and can't remember the name of. So I was like "this will be just the thing for that one lace scarf I was looking at that needs wool yarn in case it has to be blocked to look right", because knitted lace is like that and you can't block acrylic. You can "kill" acrylic but that's different and I'd rather not.

Um. Anyway. Then I wandered around some more, because I get into Michaels so seldom that it's handy to look at what-all they've got while I'm there. Over the past... week or so I have had a sudden bout of wanting to color in coloring books, because that happens to me sometimes; there was an impulse trip to the Walmart way out in the boondocks on the unlit road for Crayola colored pencils, because I decided I was not going to pay eight times as much for Prismacolors.

(The really infuriating thing about coloring books, in my opinion, is that right now you can either find the kiddie newsprint coloring books which are with us always, of course, or you can find "adult coloring books" which are *in-fucking-variably* filled with horses and lions and whales and other large charismatic mammals covered in what look for all the world like quilting patterns. If I wanted to color a rendition of a quilt filled with tiny stripes and polka dots, I'd get some graph paper! And the dots and lines and so forth are so tiny that you can *only* color them with colored pencils, because that's Adulty.)

(Yes, I know they sell coloring pages on Etsy and places. I've been avoiding the print shop for at least a month and a half now, when if I would put the things on my thumb drive and go to it, I could start getting my student loans out of default. I would never wind up printing coloring pages off of Etsy. No, I don't know why. Print shops scare me, perhaps slightly worse than post offices.)

Um. Where was I? So I had gone way far out to the Walmart nobody goes to which therefore often has interesting things in stock, and I had discovered that Crayola still does the glitter crayons I had coveted as a tiny, and they also make double-ended scented markers, which are like the coolest thing ever to the tiny early-nineties child I still am in my heart. So as of this morning, my kitchen counter was completely covered with... things. There was already the sewing machine and the Dr Pepper that doesn't taste like an old shoe, and the peanut butter and the elephant-shaped porcelain wax-warmer, but there had been a narrow slot where I could put a plate and eat my meals -- my only table having been co-opted a year ago by my workstation. Now that slot was filled with various Crayola products and a coloring book with mermaids in it, which at least had a few pages that could be colored partly with markers or crayons, instead of being entirely minced into geometric shapes barely larger than a pencil lead.

SO, what happened after I got vaccinated and found yarn and floss, is that I found out that Crayola still makes the *pearlescent* crayons I coveted even more as a kid. I had gotten one in a little sample pack included with my big 64-box, and it was very precious to me. It's long gone now, of course.

So of course then I bought the pearlescent crayons, and then I bitched at Leia for a while about how I didn't have any coloring books I could use these wonderful crayons *on* unless I wanted to go back to the Lisa Frank newsprint of my youth. (They did actually have Lisa Frank. I strongly considered it. But my tastes have evolved beyond newsprint.)

Then I googled some things, and I found Walmart listing a Crayola mandala coloring book. I went to look for it, and I didn't find it, but I did find a different coloring book with "stained glass" style pictures (sadly not on actual tracing paper, but it occurs to me that if I could source some tracing paper, which it further occurs to me that I haven't seen in years although admittedly I haven't been looking, that I could *trace them* and color them and tape them on my windows like the tacky '90s kid I am), which GLORY HALLELUJAH has spaces big enough to fucking color in!

...Michaels also had neon and metallic Crayola crayons. I might go back. They were 24-packs of each. The single silver and gold crayons from my mom's 64-pack were pretty much only used for Easter eggs in our house, so as not to use them up. I just -- I have a wealth beyond imagining of special effect crayons and markers available to me, and I'm struggling to find anywhere to use them. This seems backwards.

So anyway, then I also found a cute sundress big enough to go over my ass, and then I sat in the furniture section for a while and pondered buying a new table so I wouldn't have to keep stacking coloring books on top of the peanut butter jar in order to eat, and it occurred to me that if I took down my Christmas tree, which I've had up since the Before Times (having gotten it from in fact the same Walmart east of anywhere after all the rest in town were sold out of the particular model), then I would have a space along the back of the kitchen counter where I could hypothetically put a table.

So, because I am a sensible and moderate individual, I bought a thing of string to tie up the Christmas tree branches with, and did not buy a table yet. Then it was time for D&D, so I hurried home and put my vaccination card on the fridge and got into the voice chat and started taking down the Christmas tree.

Then it was five hours later, and I had started konmari-ing the whole apartment in order to have somewhere to store the Christmas tree, and I had discovered that my closet shelf was almost entirely full of empty cardboard boxes, so I had pulled all those out and rifled through them to make sure they didn't contain anything important, and after rescuing three cards from a friend and one glasses chamois, I stuffed most of the boxes in a trash bag, jammed the condensed Christmas tree and all the winter blankets and my air mattress and various other wintry things into the giant box my office chair came in, managed to get that giant box up onto the closet shelf (I have some soreness around my injection site but I honestly don't know if it's a side effect of the vaccination or a pulled muscle from wiggling a very large heavy box into a very tight space over my head), and moved the Goodwill oddities into a midsize box that I think I brought my workstation home in, but they just moved the remaining onsite agents into a much smaller room so I don't think I'm going to be asked to bring my workstation back for a while, and when I do go to bring it back I think the monitors will fit nicely in my washtub.

(I'm giving Goodwill my crockpot. After I forgot the garbanzos in it for three days until the chicken broth started to stink, I decided I am not a person who needs to own a crockpot. Also something like eight skeins of rather ugly yarn because I bought too much for the baby blankets I was making.)

(I'm not sure why I own a washtub. It's bright blue and plastic. It does have a use, which is to hand-wash my weighted blanket in occasionally, as of course you can't put twenty-odd pounds of glass baubles in a washing machine.)

(I certainly did make some life choices that led me here, did I not.)

Annnnyway, so now I have an almost empty three-drawer Rubbermaid dresser, an entirely empty and extremely large Rubbermaid tote (I'm pretty sure I could trap myself in there, but I haven't tried), a mostly empty square ottoman which is also a storage box, and a royal shitton of tiny things like office supplies and party favors that don't *go* anywhere.

"A place for everything" is the really hard part, you know. I achieved it once. Then I moved out of that apartment and have never achieved it again. Once things *have* places, then even if you don't have the spoons to put the peanut butter jar back in the pantry right *now*, you know it has a spot between the Hormel and the Chef Boyardee, and it's way easier than "oh god if I open the pantry there won't be any room and I'll wind up putting the peanut butter under the bathroom sink with the Johnnie Walker Black or maybe over the kitchen sink on top of the Thermacare back wraps."

(You're supposed to store whisky upright in a cool dark place, okay. None of the upper cabinet shelves are tall enough, so I could have put it either directly over the water heater or directly next to the oven. Instead it lurks behind the toilet paper, next to the Clorox wipes and the pre-pandemic Lush bath bomb, which I should... probably use at some point.)

Erm. So then I was pondering what-all storage I would need to source in order to begin having places in which to put things, *findable* places which is the real grail, and -- I think I took a pause to read Dreamwidth and someone linked me a plushie trilobite, okay. I haven't yet entirely decided whether to buy it, but it occurred to me that I definitely have no home for a plushie trilobite, any more than for the amazing Zaeed plushie currently trapped under my cross stitching or the Star Wars Build-a-Bear who was supposed to make Ewok noises until three weeks of freeze-thaw cycle in a malfunctioning package locker did for his electronic squeaker, or the poor American Girl doll languishing inside the ottoman.

So then I was like "we used to have that little net corner hammock for stuffed animals when I was a kid, we never could get it mounted right, but perhaps with fewer cooks that would be a good option". So I googled for one, and all I could find was an assortment of JUMBO five-or-six-foot-long double-deep toy hammocks, obviously necessary to keep your child from drowning in the flood of stuffed animals that have taken over beds in the past thirty years.

(Okay, I was pretty toy-deprived as a kid, the 1980s were not in general what you would call a time of less stuff in American households. Still. I have a twin bed. I can hardly even *find* a toy hammock that wouldn't be bigger than my bed in some dimension.)

So then, it being the aforementioned five hours later with a lot of D&D combined with hard physical labor in the middle, I said to myself, said I, "Hammocks are made out of net, and nets are made out of strings." And by god, if there is one thing I'm better at than another, it is making things out of string. I've never actually gotten around to trying out the whole process of making an actual fisherman's net, which is much more closely related to tatting than to knitting, but I have yarn and most of the possible knitting or crocheting supplies I would need to invent things.

Which, at long last, explains why I have paused to write this halfway through creating a triangular filet crochet toy hammock out of sparkly yellow yarn.

Joann's is having a 50% off sale on plastic storage whatsits tomorrow, but I think I'll probably spend a large part of the day putting office supplies into ziploc bags and hanging them in rows on the wall with pushpins so as to figure out what-all I in fact own.

#i feel like this probably needs at least a few warning tags #but i have no idea what those would be at this point

6 notes · View notes

sheliesshattered · 4 years

Text

Clearly my spacing and stitch sizing is a little off, but for a proof-of-concept and just eyeballing the distances as I stitched, I think this (very) rough draft of the embroidery for the Oswin apron turned out pretty good! For the real deal, I’ll have to iron that linen fabric, and then lay out my stitches with a ruler, make sure both the length and the width is closer to screen accurate than it is here.

The late night lighting on my craft table makes the red look really orangey, but it’s actually a perfect match for the red of the dress, which is somewhat of a miracle considering that I ordered them online from two different sources, sight-unseen. I would have been happy with close enough, so that was a nice surprise.

Doing all the embroidery for the apron will definitely take quite a lot of time, but even just this little bit was so relaxing and satisfying, I’m suddenly really looking forward to this project. I’m going to try to keep myself focused on finishing the belt in time for Halloween -- and I actually made really good progress on the most complicated bit of it today -- but once I have a little more free space on my craft table I think I might work on getting the first part of this prepped and measured out, so I can start embroidering in the evenings. I’ll probably start with the middle of the neckband so that my roughest stitches will be the least visible.

But first, the belt!

I really do want to get the belt finished in the next two weeks or so, so I can have the whole base costume to wear on Halloween. I have all the pieces for the belt pulled together, but nothing is actually assembled yet, and I don’t want to start attaching things to the belt until I have all the individual pieces made, so I can figure out the spacing. I’m making several of the weirder bits from various odds and ends I have lying around, but the only thing I’m making completely from scratch is the wedge-shaped oddity:

The screen-used one was probably a bit of toy the prop department dug up and painted, but since this costume has no pockets or bags of any sort, I want to turn that wedge into a flap-top pouch to stash my phone and room key and such in -- on the assumption, of course, that someday I will eventually get to wear this to an actual con.

My original plan for it was pretty simple, just a wedge-shaped bucket pouch with a flap that secures with magnetic snaps, make a faceplate out of foam to replicate the look of the screen-used one, easy peasy. But my phone is so big that keeping it upright made the wedge way too big compared to the rest of the belt. Turning my phone sideways helps, but to keep the pouch from getting too wide, the phone really needs to stay at the top of the wedge -- which then leaves a weird smaller wedge of empty space below it.

So now I’m thinking an upper pocket, accessed by lifting up the flap, where the phone will lay sideways, parallel to the belt itself. Then below that, a smaller pocket in the lower part of the wedge, which turns out to be perfectly sized for room key, credit card, ID, cash, chapstick, etc -- all those small but important things that I hate not having a way to stash on me while I’m in costume. That bit will have a zipper closure, hidden under the flap, so I can make sure none of that important stuff falls out.

Which all sounds like an excellent and useful final product, but trying to think my way through the 3D shapes involved was seriously breaking my brain earlier. I ended up spending like 30 minutes just sort of staring into space, imagining moving the fabric around, how I would connect the pieces together, where the weak points are likely to be (specifically, the bottom of the pocket that holds the phone), how to make the whole thing hold its shape when built out of scraps of wool, suede, and craft foam, and how to machine-sew the seams in the wool in an order that won’t result in being unable to sew something without sewing the whole pocket closed.

I think I have it. I’ve drawn out the foam faceplate in its true size, based on the size of my phone, and I’ve sketched all the pattern pieces for the wool lining in miniature. There are a couple of places where cutting the seam allowance from a flat piece of fabric will be a little odd, but I think I’ve managed to shift those to the corners that can survive having small holes (ie, my phone isn’t going to fall through a hole that size, but something like a safety pin might). Tomorrow I’m going to cut the whole thing out of paper in its true size, tape the seam allowances together, and make sure it actually works.

Did you ever make those 3D papercraft cubes as a kid? Where the six sides of the cube are printed on a single sheet of paper, with fold lines and extra little tabs so you can overlap it in places and tape it down? This is just like that, only it’s an irregular wedge shape instead of a cube, and the interior is broken up into two parts, with a solid wall in between them. And for the real deal, I can’t tape the edges, I have to pass the wool through a sewing machine, hopefully without any of it getting too fiddly. But hopefully the paper-and-tape version tomorrow should point out any flaws in my plan before I start cutting out the wool pieces.

I also did a proof-of-concept today on gluing both wool and craft foam to suede, and it seems to have gone well. Suede (and leather generally) is odd in that sewing it actually weakens it, so my plan is to make the interior out of wool, with a bit of (faux) horsehair braid to give it extra structure along the straight lines. Then I’ll glue pieces of suede cut to size onto the outside of the wool, to provide the outer body of the pouch, and give the whole thing more structure and strength. The back panel of suede will extend up and over to become the flap that covers the top and front of the pouch, and onto the exterior of that I’ll glue the foam pieces with all the details to match the screen-used one. I think with all those together, it’ll have enough strength and structure to keep its shape, but the wool interior will provide a soft and quiet lining, so nothing in the pockets is banging around.

But honestly, I’m mostly using these materials because I have scraps of black wool and black suede that have been lying around in my fabric stash for, oh, let’s see -- just over 9 years for the wool, and almost 18 years for the suede, though the suede at least has been used in other projects since then. These are small enough pieces that this is really all they’ll be useful for, and the black should be unobtrusive enough that the only thing anyone will actually notice will be the foam faceplate that looks like the screen-used one.

That’s the theory, anyhow. We’ll see how it all comes together. This is by far the most complicated bit of the belt, and it’s up there with how complicated it was to flat-draft the pattern for the drape at the neckline of the dress. Once this is done, putting together all the other little bits for the belt should go a lot faster, really just combining pieces together, gluing them down, and painting.

Not counting today or the 31st, there are 17 days left until Halloween. I should be able to knock out the whole belt in that timeframe, but only if I don’t let myself procrastinate too much. And on that note, maybe I’ll start on that paper mock-up tonight rather than putting it off until tomorrow...

#my costumes #my cosplay #my sewing #my embroidery #Oswin Oswald cosplay #Clara Oswald cosplay #Doctor Who cosplay #one of those weird days when I accomplished a lot but don't actually have anything to show for it #but hey the planning phase of stuff like this is super important too #hokay back to work

26 notes · View notes

delicatebluebirdruins · 3 years

Text

Shadow and Bone

This will contain spoilers (duh) some names being forgotten and its going to get long and some context less chaos

I hope i got the image ids right

Episode one (23rd April)

- ahh so the Fold= Dark Island form VoDT but with less summoning of monsters?

ID: Ben Barnes holding onto the wheel of a boat

- Many smol beans

Brief interlude with Nausicaa Valley of the Wind

Episode 1 cont. up to midway episode 7 (24th)

- magical brown trouser time my good sir

- buddies!!

- they’re not going to leave Alina alone to her existential crisis are they?

That tent looks like a circus tent to me and I have no idea why

- hmm hello completely innocent fallen branch

me: turns to sis and asks if we can we take brief intermission for this headbanger (which we did)

Turns out our brief intermission for the song was useless because after pressing play again it started buffering

we were talking about it and Dad misheard it as shaggy bone

Imagine the darkling but in pastels and black lace

- how the flipping heck can you fake bleeding light

- do you want to get lost Alina?

On Ben Barnes beard: 50% hot damn and 50% fight me (the way he tilts his head in this makes us want to hit him in the jugular)

Episode 3

- ooh look at the stag

- i love the bathroom

- damn Nina

- I wish Alina had time to get some magic tips but oh well

- replays Ben Barnes saying Moya Tsarieta twice

- how?! (Look I told you there was going to be bits where the context is tricky to pin point)

- i love the goat

- oh Jesper

- blue and gold is a great colour combination

- about the dinner scene: if this were me it would be the very rare time I stand up for myself

+ I want to add a small thing about the food taster... one is dream job/ i like him/ and imagine a taster eating something and it goes down the wrong way

- yes Jesper hug the goat- and

ID: a man with his thumb up gif from The Hunger Games; with him saying “nice shooting sweetheart” but I couldn’t find a gif of him saying it

- true north? I am never going to be free of bellarke am I?

- oh that hurts

Episode 4

- “our saint has arrived to late” 🤧

- ohh the stag is so pretty

- horses!!!

- time for a heist- i love this goat

- aww wishing fountain bonding

- the darking is growing on me

- i love Mikhail and Dubrov

- I love what we get to see of Nadia and Marie and Kaz and Inej and Jesper and basically everyone

- i love a heist (this isnwhat the hobbit should of been but you know with more dragons

- Mal is baby

- poor Nina

- ah ha a vicious cycle against the Grisha and Fjerdan

- I thought Arkens reaction was a bit odd

- oh Alina sweet heart- flashback time

- the map room is a aesthetic- using Aleksanders own words against him

That shot of the two of them is great

- poor Alina

- yas queen

- oh the stag!

- oh the machine gun; Mal poor buddy and of course flashback time

- i knew she was going to get the scar removed

Episode 5

- poor Mal

- Nadia is me

- Genya is amazing

- hi David and great minds think alike Alina (i had the same expression on my face when they were flirting)

- oh the creepy masks had a purpose

- “you’re not Ivan” you don’t say

- aand height difference... this first kiss is kind of weird to me

- oh Jesper you flirt

- I’m sorry firey people you’re going to be outshined

- Inej is so beautiful

- Dima?!?!

ID: two people from a scene in the Anastasia Musical the song My Petersburg

- what is the librarians dudes problem?

- Genya you badass... poor Marie (does Alina learn about this?? It would probably be forgotten just like her causing the death of her fellow mapmakers)

- I love the costumes

- Tofin (Idk his name) we don’t know you sorry you’re dead

- oh the kissing

ID: a gif showing two people kissing

- and him giving her the flowers is kind of cute but where did they come from?

- *pinched nose* I hate cryptic messages Baghra... holy shit... i mean I kinda knew he was immortal but still holy shit

- oh Kaz... Inej! Collect your bloody knives

- *snorting* The crows being sent to kidnap Alina and Jesper just watching her climb into the getaway carriage will always be hysterical (i personally would be laughing and thats why anything involving stealth is off the cards for me)

Episode 6

- rest in pieces Arken

- Alina broke Inej

- I love Ivan (remember the thing i said about forgetting names/ getting them mixed up? This is it.. I love Feydor a lot more than Ivan but they are both so cute together)

- my heart will go on starts playing?

- i like that horse statue in the background

- i love the beach... look at those waves... the wet look is great

- you done mess up Alina but also cool

- Mal is burly squid

- “burly squid” wheezing nosies

- now hug

- Kaz I love the cane

- “I see you now” aww

- I knew they were going to snuggle... those cute laughs

- the alarm clock though... i knew Inej should have taken the knife... i love Jesper... poor Inej... clever boy Kaz

- does it hurt? Mal? Does it hurt?

I have a habit at picking at things that hurt and well fictional characters aren’t safe from me wanting to poke something painful

- ride OR die bitches

- aand more height differences... getting very close there guys... Matthias please don’t let her fall.... they are kind of cute

- David through a book... 😂 they carriage jacked the Darkling

- David raising his hand is me... but damn it

- Alina is amazing... please remember you’re wearing the ring... Mal is best boy

- “adorable” snorting noises

Episode 7

- horsey!!!

- ahh the return of the VoDT hair (see first gif)

- Luda is familiar...

- yikes

- poor Aleksander being turned into a pincushion is not a great time

- poor Luda

- holy shit

- rock and hard place

- fuck off Baghra

- he wanted to help 😔

- ah so its like the hollow from Charmed

Image ID: gif from the og Charmed with text saying “ohhh she��s a demon!”

- this shot is beautiful... ah so I guess this could have been what happened if Caspian resurrected the White Witch... i guess

- hi stag.... oh okay 😔 poor Stag poor Mal

Flashbacks to Cinderella and Snow White (the one with Krisien Sterwart) natually it follows along with Snow White

- *squishie noises* poor Jesper... we love you Jesper but please stop talking to Inej just in case she sews her finger to the wound

- i love the crows and i love the chat about the crows

Buffers

The next day (25th) episode continued

- David looks so sad

- personally I would downsize the fold just as reminder of it

- that looks like that hurt

- I love Milo and Jesper 💖

- don’t look at it Alina... Genya is right that colour is horrible... tell her off Alina... poor Genya

- I think Jesper had fun playing a guard

- I knew the Darkling read the letters

Sister: why does he look like Tom Ellis right now?

- oh Mal

- blow dart... lol Kaz

- Milo!?! Oh the bullet you clever boy Mal

- i like the tent... he’s not wrong... we want to play with that dangly bit... oh the angst

- I thought you looked older (idk context)

- I love the outfit but couldn’t the necklace be anywhere else?

- “no mourners no funerals”

- I love the music

Episode 8

- I don’t trust that opening

- me too Crows, me to... how could you not know who Milo is

- I love Nina and Matthias so much... they are so pretty... I am not a fan of taxidermy... oh his name is Feydor sorry we kept getting you mixed up

- God damnit Kirigan.. a not so sneaky Mal... the honorary Crow... pick a side already darkling... Sun Queen?... did anybody notice her being tied down?... Good Mal and good Inej

- Jesper is amazing... so much death... bad bitch Zoya... I love Inej kissing the knife and nailing the Darkling with it... head shot... hello buddy??... this music though... badass Alina... fucking Ivan... holy shit and of course music is amazing

+ brave Kaz

- Inej and Alina bonding time... hugs? No hugs ☹️

- he offered her his hand 😞... Inej wants to hug... finally some hugs... Zoya has grown on me... i love Kanej (is that the ship name)

- Matthias oh no buddy... hill house flashbacks

- i love Jesper so much... Nina going “someone say heartrender??”

Image ID: someone turning around and raising eyebrows at camera

- Kaz saying “she’s a saint” made my heart happy

- I doubt the Darkling is dead...... i was right

- well shit/ coolness of making shadow monsters follow you (please let there be a flashback for this)

Bonus

+ imagine of Matthias and Nina decide to sleep rather than get food and were caught cuddling by the Grisha... I thought of this as I was getting into bed that night and i got up ran to my sister told her my thought she found the idea funny then went back to bed

+ people who own trains are evil?? Looks at snowpiercer

Bonus: the soundtrack is on spotify and itunes

Image id: someone bobbing along with headphones on

#shadow and bone netflix #ellie watches #spoilers #long post

6 notes · View notes

blackhyena · 3 years

Text

gothank you @slutteryingreen for tagging me to uhhh. do this deep dive i guess.

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? black ideally but like, whatever’s there in practice? i seem to have got hold of an aqua blue bastard right now and i feel somewhat foolish

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? i love the country but i need to be in a city where everything is convenient and it feels like im part of.... something at least. the idea of being far from amenities is quite frightening to me given how paranoid i can be lmao

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? i know i already play guitar but i would like to be actually genuinely good at it rather than mediocre. i also would like to be better at doing makeup, and i’d really love to be able to make my own clothes alas i can’t even work a sewing machine

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? i do not

5. What was your favourite book as a child? omg megan horrible histories is such a shout. i did love those dragonology/egyptology/pirateology books though i still have them somewhere cause im not throwing away QUALITY like that

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? showers

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? Oh To Be A Gender Non Conforming Vampire

8. Paper or electronic books? paper

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? my assorted flashy blazer collection

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? i mean.... it’s unusual, and i suppose that makes it feel very personal to me. but then also i love my nicknames/alternative names so much, i have genuinely considered changing it, but then i also like the idea of going by several variously

11. Who is a mentor to you? ummm. literally? my supervisor

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? i still daydream about being a musician, that hasnt changed since i was really small haha. though sometimes in my daydreams i am also a screenwriter/director maybe. i don’t know. id hate to be super famous though megan is on the money, gotta be niche

13. Are you a restless sleeper? hmm, i take ages to get to sleep but when im out i am OUT. as in people have to make sure im not dead out.

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? in every sense of the word!

15. Which element best represents you? this is probably just from astrology shit but i think air is also quite representative of me!

16. Who do you want to be closer to? oh to be close to someone! in this economy...

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? SEE ABOVE. everyone!!!!!

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory: my two cousins arguing over who got to give me a horse-ride in my nana’s living room, meanwhile i’m crying in the corner begging them not to fight

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? oh take your pick! chicken hearts, ostrich, springbok.... all very delicious would recommend

20. What are you most thankful for? im very loved by my family and friends 🥺 even though i can get insecure and not realise it, it’s something i need to commit to heart more often.

21. Do you like spicy food? yes but my body does not. doesn’t stop me though!

22. Have you ever met someone famous? ive met miles kane! and jason manford. and some randos from coronation street. oh and kate mulgrew. and lee mack, who was getting my train along with catherine tate. there’s probably more ive forgotten.

23. Do you do you keep a diary or journal? lol NO but i do have a planner because if i didnt my life would have fallen apart completely by now.

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? pen.

25. What is your star sign? libra

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? crunchy... but i also don’t eat cereal. ive fully gone off milk (no pun intended)

27. What would you want your legacy to be? that i created something beautiful or though-provoking, or at least funny

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? ahah if i didnt like reading doing what i do then id be FUCKED. i just finished reading the ebb-tide by robert louis stevenson!

29. How do you show someone you love them? i get them something nice... i suck at expressing it because i’m so nervous it won’t go down well. a gift does nicely to get around that.

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? i guess?

31. What are you afraid of? failing.... being forgotten.....rejection.... oh and wasps, hugely. bug sounds freak me the fuck out!!!!

32. What is your favourite scent? woody, earthy rain smells. and jasmine/honeysuckle too i suppose

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? i... whatever they go by????

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? my house would be so beautifully hideous and full of beautifully hideous clothes.

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? pools, just cause i can’t be dealing with salt water in my nose where it has no business being

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? i .... GUESS i would turn it in to see if anyone had lost it, but you can bet i’d be fuming

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? no!!! i think i’m too short-sighted to pick most of them out. really mad about that actually why did you ask

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? im not planning to have kids but i did come to a conclusion that, while formerly i would have simply told them to be kind, i would also tell them to be smart. because natural intelligence aside critical thinking is a GIFT and they should rightly question everything rather than taking it as gospel.

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? urgh i know exactly what i would get and if covid/money/parental expectations truly were no object i’d be getting little fragments of cathedral architecture from all the cities i’ve lived in tattooed on my wrists.

40. What can you hear now? the garage door creaking open under our flat

41. Where do you feel the safest? at home, with a cat curled up on my bed.

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? insecurities yes.... anxieties.... fears.... all that. i should get therapy probably

43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be? it would not be permanent because i do NOT want to live without modern niceties but i WOULD go back to the eighteenth century/regency.... and just meet some people i’ve been reading about in the flesh, and see if they live up to the hype.

44. What is your most used emoji? red love heart emoji....

45. Describe yourself using one word. odd...

46. What do you regret the most? not sticking up for people being bullied at school. i know it was a self preservation thing at the time and i was a kid and didnt necessarily know better but like.... i wish i hadnt tried to distance myself from it, i could have been a lot more empathetic and made the world a bit kinder for people going through it, you know?

47. Last movie you saw? belle!

48. Last tv show you watched? succession

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning. you know when you give your cat a gentle shove and it rolls over dramatically onto its back? that’s tipcat.

i tag @ceolfriths @wutheringdyke @mycravatundone @colubride @renfield @goblinmarquess

#text post

6 notes · View notes

bixbythemartian · 4 years

Text

Masks: A Journey

Okay, let me preface this by saying I am well aware I could have just looked up a pattern that worked better. I didn’t need to do this. It was fun, though.

So, here’s the thing. I don’t go out that often and when I do I’m not gone long. I work from home, and so I mostly go to the store about once a week. Sometimes I go get a slurpee now that we have slurpees in Oklahoma. I made some masks for myself that are tie on, but I’m finding them to be kind of a hassle. I don’t like tying them across my hair, I don’t have a/c in the car so often I’m putting it on in a hot car before I go into the store, and tying my hair into it. It is TOTALLY a minor complaint, but it is also one I felt I could do something about, so I started tinkering with patterns.

This gets a lil image heavy, so we’re going under a cut. (There are image descriptions.)

As a note, all masks are made of some variety of cotton (some are cotton bandana material, some are quilting cotton) and the ties and loops are all t-shirt material- literally off a t-shirt I sacrificed to this cause.

This is my basic mask, I like the way it fits (more or less), I just wanted ear loops rather than having to tie it on. I knew from making a mask from this pattern for a friend who wanted ear loops that this pattern does a weird foldy thing at the ear with ear loops. I don’t want that, I am making these myself so I wanted them to look right. (Also, I know there’s wrinkling going on, I don’t own an iron at the moment. I’m making do.)

(Also also- I don’t use bridge wires, which would probably made some of this easier? But I want them to be rewashable and sturdy, and my experience with underwire bras tells me that wire and boning weakens fabric more quickly. At some point I’d like to come up with a jewelry type option that clips on the outside, but I don’t know how feasible that is and I can’t figure out where I put my wire so it’s gonna have to wait until I find or buy wire.)

I’m aware I could have just made pleated masks, but please understand that I fucking hate doing pleats. If they’re not even I get upset about it. They’re never even.

[ID: a white cut out of a mask pattern, the bottom right coming to a right angle and the front of the mask curved up to a point. Wood background.]

[ID: A light blue mask with a vaguely floral pattern and splotches of darker blue. Mask is held sideways by me, the black ties drop off the side of the mask off the bottom of the picture. White background.]

[ID: White person with long purplish hair in low side ponytail wearing mask in previous image, front on. The mask starts below the top of the ear and rises up over towards the bridge of the nose in the center, and tucks under chin.]

[ID: Side angle of previous image. Mask is clearly somewhat loose on bridge of nose, and tight under chin.]

[ID: Same figure and mask as before, from a top down angle over the forehead. mask is gaping somewhat near the nose, but fits the top of the nose and where it touches at cheekbones.]

I knew from making a mask from this pattern for a friend who wanted ear loops that this pattern does a weird foldy thing at the ear with ear loops. I don’t want that, I am making these myself so I wanted them to look right. (Also, I know there’s wrinkling going on, I don’t own an iron at the moment. It’s on the list.)

(Also also- I don’t use bridge wires, which would probably made some of this easier? But I want them to be rewashable and sturdy, and my experience with underwire bras tells me that wire/boning weakens fabric more quickly. At some point I’d like to come up with a jewelry type option that clips on the outside, but I don’t know how feasible that is and I can’t figure out where I put my wire so it’s gonna have to wait until I find or buy wire.)

My first attempt is not pictured, because by the time I thought to take pictures I had already started disassembling it to remake.

I made the mask as I usually would, with ear loops instead of ties, and then darted it after I sewed it together. It wasn’t great, tbh. It also made the mask non-reversable, and one of the things I like about these masks is that they can be reversable- I can put one type of fabric on side and another on the other side, so you can get more versatility in looks and colors. (I don’t always, but it’s nice to have the option.)

I thought that perhaps it would be better if I darted the pieces before I put the mask together, as I thought the bulging at the sides was the fault of darting last. So my second attempt was to insert darts before I put the whole thing together. This is using the same pattern piece as I started with.

[ID: Burnt orange mask held front facing down, with a dart in the ear side, black ear loops pointing up. White background.]

[ID: Same mask as previous image worn on white person with purplish hair in low side ponytail. Image taking facing front of person. Mask is bulging somewhat at the sides.]

[ID: Profile of same figure as prevoius image. Mask is bulging where the dart is evident, and clearly lifted away from bridge of nose.]

[ID: Top down from front of forehead of previous image, mask is clearly gaping badly around bridge of nose and cheeks.]

Not ideal, as you can see. The darts didn’t seem to help with the weird bunched look, it somehow ended up fitting too loosely at the bridge of my nose? Fit fine under the chin, so it wasn’t the amount of ear loop I had. I suspect it was because I set the dart so far towards the bottom, perhaps if I’d put it more middling that would have been less bad.

Also you can see that I’m about as good at putting darts in as I am at putting in pleats. Meh.

Next step was to take the pattern and alter it.

[ID: white paper pattern of a mask with a curved front and the side is at a right angle. There is a pencil marking visible starting about 2 centimeters from the ear side of the mask pattern to the bottom of the original front of the pattern.]

The pencil line at an angle near the bottom was the new bottom of my pieces. Reasoning that the shorter sides would make it adhere to the face better, I set about it.

[ID: burgundy colored bandana style paisley pattern mask is held with front facing down, back loops up.]

[ID: White person with purplish hair in a low side ponytail wearing the burgundy bandana mask facing the camera. The mask bulges towards the ears and fits loosely around the jaw.]

[ID: profile shot of previous image. The gaping at the ears and looseness around the jaw is more evident in this image.]

[ID: Top down of previous image, the mask fits around nose and bridge a little more loosely than the first mask but much better than the second.]

As you can see, I’m having the gape problem I mentioned the first time around. Not a great fit around the chin, either. I actually lost ground on this one, which is frustrating because it turns out that burgundy is very flattering with my eye color. Sigh. Okay, so my next move was a lil more extreme. Breaking the mask into pieces.

[ID: two pattern pieces cut out of white notebook paper. The fronts of the mask are curved and where they fit together would be a sharp angle.]

[ID: Multi color house and home themed fabric in the mask- the patterning is difficult to see due to the mask being pieced together in smaller pieces, but the coloring is as follows: white background with gray, teak, dark blue, burnt orange, and yellow. The mask is held front up with black ear loops pointing down.]

[ID: Front facing image of person with purplish hair in low side pony tail in mask described in previous image. the mask fits under the chin but seems looser around the bridge of the nose.]

[ID: profile shot of previous image, the mask sits notably lower on the nose and has a slight bunching/gaping issues towards the ear.]

[ID: Top down shot of previous image, mask clearly not touching the bridge or cheeks at all.]

okay so it fit really snugly under my chin but not at all on the bridge of my nose, plus it was honestly kind of a pain in the ass to make. The kind I normally make are easy, so that’s frustrating. (I know the ear loops look too long on this one, they’re actually being stretched out because it fits so snugly around my jaw that it was dragging the mask down my face.)

I felt like I was kind of onto something with the burgundy bandana mask, though, so I did the same thing at a more extreme angle (no image of the pattern because I honestly kind of winged it, but it was like an extra 1.5 inches off the ear side of the mask).

[ID: Gray mask held front up and black ear loops down. This mask has a much shorter side compared to other masks, but the front is the same as others.]

[ID: White person with purplish hair in low side pony tail wearing mask from previous image, facing camera. Bottom seam of mask is visible and clearly not tucked under chin at all.]

[ID: Profile shot of previous image, the mask is much more visibly going straight down off the face and not tucking under.]

[ID: Top down shot of previous image, the mask fits similarly to first mask around bridge of nose and cheekbones.]

It just points straight down. But it fits better at the bridge of my nose, and doesn’t gap at ALL on the sides by my ears.

It was at this point where I gave up for a few hours, complained about it to my roommate, made myself dinner, thought about the rest of the piece of chocolate cake I bought earlier today, ate some watermelon, complained about the masks to my roommate again, and then decided that I wasn’t done.

I really felt that I was onto something with the burgundy mask and the gray mask, but I needed to curve the chin in more sharply so it tucked underneath my chin.

[ID: mask pattern on white notebook paper, front side up. The front curves more sharply towards the right side of the image, what would be the chin area of the mask, and the angle at the bottom right is fairly oblique.]

[ID: Multi-color pattern mask held, front side down with black ear loops pointing up.]

[ID: Front facing shot of person with purplish hair in a low side ponytail wearing mask.]

[ID: Profile shot of person in previous image, the mask clearly tucks under the chin at the front.]

[ID: Top-down shot of person in previous image, where the mask touches the bridge of the nose and the tops of the cheek.]

So, I did not run through the house screaming eureka because, again, I could have just looked up mask patterns and found sixty.

In my defense, however, the reason that I have been using this mask pattern is because it fits my weirdly long jawline. I chose it in the first place because my step-mother made it for my dad and it fit him. I came by this jawline honestly, so if it fit my dad’s face it would fit mine. (If you have been wondering if the angle is weird or if I do have a really weirdly long jaw, the answer is yes.) I didn’t want to grab a pattern that would work if I didn’t have an odd jawline, so I worked off a pattern that I knew suited my facial structure.

Now, this mask would not be ideal for wearing long term. Because it fits my chin tightly and the bridge bridge of my nose a little more loosely, it would migrate downwards. I am considering fiddling the curve towards the top of the pattern so it’s a little more curved and fits more closely to my nose. Now that it fits snugly under my chin, the looser fit at the bridge of my nose is much more obvious. I may drop the peak of the bridge and pull the curve in a little more sharply towards the top. I doubt I can do anything to keep it from migrating down without involving metal wire, but it’d be nice to close the gap a bit.

All in all, I have found this journey fairly satisfying. I forgot how much I enjoyed messing with pattern making. While I wasn’t starting from scratch, that was mostly out of a desire not to reinvent the wheel. I had a pattern that mostly worked and wanted to fit it better to the way I use masks. And because the pattern I ended on is smaller than the pattern I used in most of my other masks (except the 8 piece mask) I can pick them apart, re cut the pieces and sew them into the better fitting mask.

I may update this if I decide to fiddle with the nose a bit.

#masks #mask making #sewing #crafts

23 notes · View notes

marvelmando · 5 years

Text

history {p. parker x reader}

suggested by @justbetomholland!

notes: hello, it’s currently 3 o’clock in the morning; i’m operating on a total of 8 hours out of the last 48, but everything’s fine! i’m fine! i’m bored! and i was graciously given the suggestion of numbers 28 and 6 from my dialogue prompt list just as i was contemplating forcing myself into a deep sleep under (at least) 10 mg of melatonin, but i decided hey! id rather write! and if anyone else is a writer, you know what i mean when i say when inspiration hits, you go along with it. so here i am, and here is this (probable) mess. i hope you enjoy x.

**also, why do you guys always ask for angsty prompts??? not that im complaining, but sometimes a girl just wants to write a fluff piece!

based on:

6. “You just got stabbed and you wanna know if I’m okay?!”

28. “I’m only good at three things: making ridiculous science puns, laughing at inappropriate times, and making some bomb-ass snickerdoodles. None of them will help me with this.”

from this prompt.

warning: if you couldn’t determine from one of the prompts, this will obviously contain some blood and a little gore.

Sometime around the seventh grade, you were introduced to Peter Parker. You didn’t remember much from the encounter, but you do remember the eruption of bubbles in your stomach like you’d just inhaled a can of soda. That feeling persisted for the solid part of the next three and a half years when you finally admitted to yourself you had a crush on him.

Of course, not long after that, you asked Peter on a date. (You never were really good at suppressing your emotions; once you realized your feelings for him, it was only a matter of time before you confronted him with them.)

Nearly three months later, and you and Peter were still going strong, and it hadn’t been an easy journey of friendship that led to the sticky-sweet romance of adolescence. Between Peter losing Ben and acquiring his powers, you were well-versed in the practice of supporting your best-friend through some of the most challenging parts of his young life.

Incidentally, you were the first to discover his secret second-life, after catching him experimenting with the creation of his web fluid, only weeks after he was bitten by the radioactive spider. You hadn’t seen him in three weeks, after taking a vacation with your family and being swamped by make-up work. You’d barged into his bedroom, troubling homework in hand, only to find a freshly-muscular Peter hunched over the complete disarray of chemistry equipment strewn about his desk.

He didn’t have many excuses for what he was doing, or why he’d gained thirty pounds of muscle in twenty-three days.

He didn’t talk to you for weeks after it happened, only finally opening up about it the night Ben died, when he was feeling angry and hurt and misguided. After that, you became his go-to about everything Spider-Man, even helping him create his first suit made of a sleeveless sweatshirt he found at Goodwill, and a baggy pair of your old blue sweatpants and matching sweater (that were, decidedly, not at all baggy on him).

You distinctly remember the first time he came to you after a particularly rough mugging, in which his chest was marred with deep gouges from a switchblade and he refused to go to the hospital to treat them.

“I can’t, Y/N, what the hell would I say?” Peter had wheezed as you ushered him to your bed, where you’d hastily thrown some towels down before assessing the wounds. “‘Sorry, I was trying to web up this criminal but he caught me by surprise when I realized I’d run out of web fluid’?” He’d hissed when you’d peeled back his bloody sweatshirt (thank God it was red, you remembered thinking). “‘Oh, and don’t worry if the bruise on my eye heals within ten minutes, I also happen to have enhanced regenerative’ - fuck!”

You’d pressed into his wound to stop the blood flow, but also to get him to stop talking. “Peter,” you had snapped, feeling overwhelmed and marginally light-headed by the sheer amount of blood pouring from the gashes. “I can’t do this! I’m - you - I can’t -”

He must’ve seen how white you’d gone, noticed how frightened you were when the words sounded strangled in your throat. “Y/N, there’s no one else.” Despite the obvious pain shining in his eyes, his voice was calm and steady, soothing your frazzled nerves. “You can do this; I trust you.”

You had narrowed your eyes at him, nerves turning into disbelief. “Pete, you don’t understand - I can’t. I would, but I - I can’t just... sew you up!” You said incredulously. “I’m only good at three things: making ridiculous science puns, laughing at inappropriate times, and making some bomb-ass snickerdoodles. None of them will help me with this.”

Peter’d just let out a strangled laugh. “You do make some wicked snickerdoodles.”

You smiled, forgetting yourself in the memory.

“Y/N?” Peter wheezed from where he lied down on your bed, clutching his abdomen. Your eyes snapped down to him, startling into frantic movement again as the anxiety seeped in again. “Y/N, are you okay?”

“You just got stabbed and you wanna know if I’m okay?!” You breathed out a nervous laugh, pressing the towel into the wound.

“It’s not that bad - shit.” The curse slipped as you poured an obscene amount of hydrogen peroxide where the blood had started to dry. Your eyes flicked up to his, amused and haughty. Examining the wound once more, you turned to retrieve the fully-stocked emergency kit you kept in your dresser at all times.

You wiped away the blood, pleased that the stab wound was shallow and had ceased bleeding. “I don’t know why you don’t just go to Mr. Stark, surely he has medics on his team that could fix you up ten times better than I could - and you wouldn’t have to say a word about how you got it.”

When you looked into his eyes, they were warm and smiling, despite the pain he was in. He pushed back the baby hairs framing your forehead with a gloved hand, the strands persistent in the way they always seemed to stick out straight from your head. He did that a lot, and it was one of your favorite things he did, the movement automatically soothing you as you instinctively leaned into his palm, warm even through his suit. You distantly worried if his hand was covered in blood, but you tended to get pretty messy whenever you had to patch him up, and it was nothing a shower couldn’t fix. You focused instead on the adoration shining in his chestnut eyes, dimmed by the darkened room but shining bright with love nonetheless.

“Why would I, when I’ve got you?” Peter said, his voice soft and mellow. You could he was beginning to lose awareness, and you pressed gently on the wound to rouse him.

“Uh, uh, I need you awake for the stitches, mister.” You admonished, grabbing the needle and medical thread you’d... borrowed from the hospital you volunteered at. (After nearly two years of Peter coming to you to get his battle wounds mended, you became increasingly invested in the medical field, and were planning on pursuing a medical degree.)

You replaced your soiled disposable gloves, sanitizing and threading the needle with a practiced hand. Your eyes traveled to the scar from that first time, noting with a critical eye how uneven the scar looked, as your hands shook terribly as you followed along to a YouTube video detailing how to stitch a wound.

“Yes, ma’am.” Peter’s voice was pained.

“You ready?” You asked, lowering the needle to the wound.

When he didn’t answer, you looked up at him. He had paled slightly, eyes wide and frantic, and you could tell his breathing had quickened. He’d never really gotten used to stitches, and you knew he was worse with deeper wounds.

Leaning forward, you pressed a solid kiss to Peter’s lips. He froze, still distracted by the pain and nerves, but almost immediately melted into the kiss, softening the press of his lips against yours. You pulled back slightly, and gently kissed his lower lip, moving to his cheek, pressing slow, soft kisses as you moved across his face.

Finally, you stopped with a peck to the tip of his slightly-crooked nose. Leaning back just enough to look at his entire face, you smiled fondly when you saw how relaxed he looked. He returned the smile, and you pressed one last lingering kiss to the center of his forehead, lips dampened and tasting slightly of salt from the sweat beading there. You wanted to cradle his cheek, but you knew better than to contaminate your gloves any further that they most likely were.

“I love you.” You told him, and even though it wasn’t the first time, Peter’s eyes simultaneously softened and brightened, just as strongly as they had when you did.

“I know,” he replied cheekily, his voice roughened. A grin broke out on your face, head shaking at the reference.

“Ready?” You poised the needle at the wound, waiting for him to nod.

He didn’t hesitate this time. “I trust you.”

With the familiar phrase, you set to work.

214 notes · View notes

jaimistoryteller · 4 years

Text

2019 Wishlist

Greetings All & Blessed Be I hope this finds you having a wonderful season thus far. My name is Jaimi, I am an indie author, who is fighting for disability due to a combination of physical and mental health complication, working on trying to figure out how to get a bookstore, farm market & artisan craft store up and running at the same time. It's a bit of a balancing act since my health means I can only work rarely, and I planned for others to actually do the majority of the work. It's also a balancing act as it can be used against me. While there are amazon lists, do not feel like you have to get the stuff from amazon. Instead, if you have some of it floating around, know where you can get it for cheaper, or simply don't like amazon, I have no issues providing an address to send it to! I can be contacted on here or by email at [email protected]. Since this list will cover several different people, I am not going to post the addresses here for safety reasons. I've had a stalker in the past, so now I like knowing when I give it out. That said, here are my requests for myself, friends and family. 1. Amazon Wishlist house supplies for Shelk & boys. She's a single mom, with two sons. While she got a job a little earlier this year, and it was supposed to become permanent in November, it's rather up in the air due to the business recently being sold, and the new owners are considering changing out staff. That means every penny she makes goes towards food, lot rent (which she is paying catch up on from when she was unemployed) and the utilities. If you'd be able to save money by buying the stuff you want to send or have some of it from stocking up and want to share, message me for her address! 2. Amazon Wishlist gift ideas for Shelk & the boys. Shelk loves to read - fantasy, romance, and stuff with happy endings mostly, but since she doesn't have a device that can do ebooks, she does paperbacks. N (elder nephew - 10 years old) is getting into science, enjoys reading mysteries and spy stuff, likes the Marvel heroes, and has recently started journaling & keeping a planner that he likes to decorate with stickers! J (younger nephew - 5, years old & turns 6 the day before Christmas) adores mindcraft, building blocks, play money, food, stickers, or house stuff (all of it from the cooking to the mechanics stuff), and cars! There is a combination of toys they have requested, plus things they have not but have shown interest in the past on the list. 3. Amazon Wishlist Food or Full Cart for Rachel & family . Rachel takes care of her mom and helps her aunt, while dealing with her own health issues. She's been told she's not qualified for disability because she didn't work enough and is not old enough, even though she has had progressive issues that are following along the same route as her mom's. There are three people in the family. All food from the Omaha Steaks company done on one order gets a single shipping cost from my experimentation, making it cheaper to do multiples rather than singles. 4. Amazon Wishlist gift ideas for Rachel & family. All three members of the family are into crafts. When living with disabilities, it's best to find what brings you joy. For them, it's creating things. They love all sorts of crafts, everything from planners and scrap books, to knitting and sewing, to coloring. It is not uncommon for them to save up their change to get craft bags from ReStores. Craft bags are pieces of fabric, random things of thread, and other odds & ins to make stuff. Sometimes they find larger things of cloth to work with, and other times not. no matter what the craft material, one of the three will come up with something for it. The only thing is it has to be perfume free as all three are allergic to perfumes. There is also a collection of gift cards, to allow them a chance to spoil themselves, some are food related, some are store related. 5. Amazon Wishlist hobby and gift ideas for my ma. She had a stroke in 2008, since then she has been struggling to discover who she is with the disabilities it left her. At this time she's working on escaping an abusive relationship, where her partner has a bad habit of treating her like a burden and useless. It's broken her self esteem the rest of the way, along with worsening her depression. I am trying to help her find things that she will enjoy, that she can do rather than simply sit and think of that which is lost. 6. Home Depot or Lowe's Gift Cards! All four houses have various projects that need to be worked on. Shelk - trying to finish replacing the bad plumbing and molded insulation to keep her home warm for the boys and herself, there's a few other things that need dealt with too. Jaimi - trying to replace old and raggedy carpet with floor tiles, also has plumbing that needs fixed, two base board heaters that are glitching, and a window in need of replacing. Pattie (my ma) - needs a new dishwasher so on bad days she can put the dishes in there and use it, needs to fix the sink, and do something with the carpet. Rachel - kitchen sink and counter totally needs replaced, bathroom sink needs fixed, a few other random things. 7. Amazon Wishlist for me, cause yes besides the necessities of repairing the house, there is some fun stuff I'd love to get but can't bring myself to use my bill money for. Any and all art supplies, whether they are on there, from a thrift store, extras just laying around, or from a dollar store are welcome! I have yet to come across an art supply I cannot use in some way. 8. Cards and letters - any of us, plus I know that myself, Rachel, Paula, Dawn, and Pattie will send thank you cards for them. Addresses will be provided on request! they don't have to be fancy, expensive, or long. It's nice to get little cards from people. A little sign that we're not alone over the season, when sometimes hard times and health problems strike the worst. 9. I have a service dog named Winston who I am making payments on, there is still $1,300 left on him. The sooner I get him paid off, the sooner that money goes back towards the bills. Any help towards that would be appreciated. I can provide the loan company and information who would like go that route, there is also my Ko-Fi, PayPal email ([email protected]) or GoFundMe for those who prefer that method.

[ID: Winston the Rottweiler service pup at the vet]

10. Say something kind to a stranger when in public. A simple "you look nice" or "lovely smile" or "I hope you have a good day". It can make a huge difference and only takes a few seconds to do. There is too much cruelty in the world, so it spreads a bit of cheer. Thank you all for taking the time to read this long list! I will be going through and trying to do what I can with my limited income. May your season and year to follow be wonderful! Jaimi

PS - this is copied over from the Dreamwidth Holiday Wishlist exchange, I figure it doesn’t hurt for me to post it in both spots.

#wishlist #help need #amazon wish list #Holidays #any help appreciated #long post

19 notes · View notes

szopenhauer · 4 years

Text

are you hetero-/homo-/bi-sexual?: I’m an asexual lesbian have you gotten your first kiss?: of course

what form of birth control do/would you use?: homosexuality lmfao would/did you have sex before marriage?: I did is there a difference between a crush and being in love?: there is

do you believe in love at first sight?: no, that’s lust or crush can long-distance relationships work?: yep have you ever had a long-distance relationship?: most of them were long-distance what of online relationships?: same have you ever been divorced?: I wasn’t married so... have you fallen in love in the past and regretted it?: yup how old were you when you had sex for the first time?: 28 have you ever been molested or raped?: kinda have you ever been jealous of a friend for their boy/girlfriend?: I was a tiny bit jealous of them being liked by someone but I knew their so called relationship won’t last so... but when it comes to being into my friend’s gf? nah have you ever been jealous of your boy/girlfriend’s “close” friend(s)?: sorta have you ever been jealous of your boy/girlfriend’s ex?: could say so have you ever gotten back together with an ex?: yeah

do you enjoy french-kissing?: dunno do you keep a picture of your significant other somewhere?: on pendrive, fb and her ID pic in my room on my shelf have/would you ever use whipped cream in a sexual act?: I don’t like whipped cream... or sex do cherries or strawberries have any sexual meaning for you?: not really have you ever dumped someone?: I have have you ever been dumped?: wouldn’t say so are you (honestly) afraid of commitment?: it’s complicated do you have stuff from a previous relationship?: I only had few things (from S) and I trashed them or gave them away, I also no longer own a sheep I wanted to give for Karo but I kept a cheap ring I bought for her and the mug for May is my dad’s now, I won’t count bunch of trinkets I got in a letter from Wiktoria because we never been together - I was just crushing on her and she didn’t like me back, does the camp marriage certificate counts tho? hahaha

When days go by, do you cross them off on the calendar? nope Are you currently counting down to something? If so, what? I am, hospital mostly Ever got injured at work? What happened? -

What color is your roof? silver, wish it was red

Last time you sharpened a pencil? I sharpened colorful pencils few months ago if that counts List all the people in your phone under T: dad Do you pay rent to your parents? I would contribute if I had a job (or move out) How many icons are on your desktop? I cleaned my desktop recently :3 What’s your definition of a slut? I don’t use this word but - someone who has sex with many ppl that they don’t even know and spread STDs as they don’t use protection then have multiple abortions calling their pregnancy accidents

If you use the word “slut”, do you apply it to men who do the same thing as what you listed above? most of men are like that but would probably use a different word for their behavior as it’s more feminine - still it’s equally bad to act this way no matter of the gender Do you dye eggs for Easter? used to but I think it’s worthless What color hair did the last person you kissed have? last time we kissed she had very dark brown hair, she was changing colors so often in those past days... Do you like your eye color? I don’t care much about it Pens or pencils? pens Last skirt you wore and why? my gf asked me to wear her plaid skirt for a moment What was the last magazine article you read about? not sure which was last How old is your brother’s best friend? ... If you’re old enough, do you have a credit card? If you’re not old enough, do you want one when you’re older? I don’t, I prefer cash What’s the minimum age you think someone should have a cell phone at? if kid doesn’t have to ride alone to school then older than 12 I believe? Would you ever work night crew? why not? How old is the last person you texted? 28

Does it make you nervous when someone does something dangerous showing off? very, I hate that

Have you ever had to take a pee test? shitload of times

Have you ever had to supply someone with clean pee? don’t do that

Are you in charge of cleaning anything in your household? not always

Ever carved/written anything on a park bench? also don’t do that

Have you ever had anything tailored? my mom sew

Do you keep your eyebrows more thick or thin? natural

What color is your bedroom door? mostly white with glass in the middle

Have you ever been hunting? no way

Your take on one-night stands? Are they okay? I’m not into them

Do you always wear a bra? basically never

Do you have a wrist watch? nope

Do you usually jog or go for walks? walk

Do you own a pair of Dr. Martens? had two but my my red ones ripped :(

Do you like wine? disgusting

Do you scrapbook? not really

Would you feel bad about breaking up with someone on their birthday? absolutely

Have you ever sung anyone the happy birthday song? who haven’t? How many followers do you have on Twitter? I no longer use twitter

Do you like Hello Kitty? it’s evil

Have you ever won on one of those grabber machine things? tried but failed

Is there an actual word for those? claw machine, ufo catcher

Have you ever been horseback-riding? I want to someday

Have you ever seen your naked back? in a mirror

Would you agree that wedding cake is so much better than any other cake? it’s not that good

Do you feel awkward with strangers in elevators? I’m glad I’m not the only one like this

Would you rather cheat and tell your other about it or be cheated on? be cheated on because I won’t cheat, that would be my decision - a mistake - that I would never forgive myself no matter of the reasons I’d have for doing that to someone I’m dating

Do you own a pair of shorts that could be mistaken for underwear? I don’t own any shorts at all

Do you have a beauty mark? like Marilyn Monroe and not only this one

Have you ever been in a shrubbery maze? as a kid

Do you think you’re the best thing that’s happened to someone? r u kidding? I might be the worst...

Is the best thing that’s ever happened to you a person? one of best

How many songs do you think you know all of the lyrics do? zero

What’s the most emotionally painful thing you’ve ever been through? there would be a long list, too many to name

ever been kissed under fireworks? that didn’t happen

can you live a day without TV? 100% are you a bad influence? who knows night out or night in? in who was the last person you visited in the hospital? besides being there myself - my father do you hate anyone? majority of society

wanna have grandkids before you’re 50? I don’t plan to have kids so also won’t have grandkids

do you hang out with your siblings friends? they don’t like me

have you seen the movie “avatar” yet? if so, did you like it? if not do you think you will? I won’t, I heard people get suicidal because of it

if you didn’t have to, would you ever grow up? not until my parents’ death

do you often receive calls from random people at random times? luckily not

do you know the exact temperature right now? I know it’s hot and I suppose it’s like 30 Celsius or smth

*it’s almost 30

what’s the worst place you ever dropped your phone? I don’t recall dropping my phone

have you ever fainted from the heat or dehydration? never fainted at all

what is a food that you’d hate to be allergic to?: I hate allergies in general >.<

what color was the last towel you used?: pink, I don’t like it

would you prefer to date someone taller, shorter, or the same height as you? always been into shorter people and now I’m dating taller girl

when was the last time your nose bled? not even when it was broken?

how old are you turning this year?: turned 28

who would you allow to read your thoughts for one day? thx but no

name your last reason for using a camera? fun

seven days from now, will you be in a relationship? mhm

have you ever kissed anyone with a name that starts with j or m? M

do you think you’ll be married in 10 years? if ever

could you go out in public looking like you do now? I might

is it easy for others to make you feel intimidated? hmm...

have you ever kissed someone whose name starts with an r? I have not

are you easily confused? maybe so

do you think you would make a good wife/husband? me? pfft

do you like summer? I consider it my fav season for now

where were you at 8am this morning? sleeping again, I woke up at 5 am choking and got really scared but then I went back to bed and didn’t get up until like 10 am

what color nail polish is on your toes? my toes ain’t painted, only time I was painting them was in middle school when I was attending self defence classes and thought that my feet are fugly so adding some red color will make them look better somehow - idiotic

what are your biggest turn offs? personal

is there a baby in the room with you right now? not now but my niece is visiting so she can be here any moment now

what is the way to your heart? with a knife - jk

what do you smell like? sweat and shampoo?

what’s in your pocket? no pockets!

anything in your mouth? saliva, teeth, tongue - the usual

ever jumped/fallen/been pushed in a pool with your clothes on? bless that NO

are you wearing any clothes that you wore yesterday? ... yes

what can you hear right now? voices outside

are you close to your siblings? *rolling my eyes*

do you bite your nails? I cut them

do you like your feet? yuk, they’re not the worst but feet are just creepy

do you sleep well at night? not enough?

1 note · View note

treasure-my-aurora · 5 years

Text

One More Night. Pt 1

A/n: Ladies, Gentlemen and everyone in between, teens and adults who came for the music and stayed for Kim Hongjoong (and the music too, obviously) This right here is the fanfic you haven't been waiting for! The one that no one asked for! and no one wanted to read! I will once again, as I usually do, remind you that this is not a y/n fic simply because it's just not my style. I need a personality to base off my writing off. The person in this one is nameless, a female in her mid 20s, korean, sort of an introvert and somewhere underneath the "Demisexual" gray-A umbrella.

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong / fem!Reader

Chapter: 1/14

Genre: Mutual pining, canon compliant, fluffy af, angsty af, suggestive, teasing and filled with that good shit that everyone loves

Words in this chapter: 5247

I stared at the diploma in my hands, it was the first paper of many, and my hands shook slightly in the chilly late summer weather outside. I was fresh out of school, graduated just that spring and now, with all my papers in order, I was ready to begin walking down the path of what had been my goal for years. I’d been studying abroad in the US, putting endless hours and more drops of blood, sweat and tears on the concrete floor of the 'Fashion Institute of Technology' than I could count. I nervously chewed on my lip, took a deep breath and entered through the front door. A big lobby opened up before me and a receptionist gave me a big smile. I smiled back and focused on keeping the ice in my stomach. I couldn’t lose my head now.

“I’m here for an interview”

I started and the receptionist nodded, her black hair framed her face and I swallowed my anxiousness as she asked me about my name and the email, I’d gotten a few days after applying, confirming that I had all the qualities that the company searched for. She asked me for my ID-card and my papers that involved a criminal record check, and that I was legal Korean citizen (the other option being that I had a work visa) before she gave me a shiny visitors card that would allow me to go upstairs to the waiting room. I thanked her and followed the signs up a flight of stairs and then took the elevator to the second floor. My heart pounded when I reached the waiting room. It was lit up with natural light from big panorama windows on my right and I gulped while looking over at a large analogue clock on the wall in front of me, my stomach bubbling from so much excitement that it almost felt as if I was going to be sick. Minutes passed and finally a woman in her early thirties approached me, her hand extended as she asked me my name, as you do to make sure that you said hello to the right person. I took her hand and she introduced herself as Chung Eunji and gave me a brilliant smile.

“You’ll be fine, don’t worry” She reassured me and I nodded, grateful for her calm presence as we entered a room with three others, one woman and two men, all of them perfectly dressed and groomed, authority radiated from all three and I swallowed hard before taking a deep breath as I sat down in front of them.

I introduced myself, presented them with my diploma, my photo catalogue and they asked a few questions in return. Things about my private life, why I wanted to work with them specifically and I tried to answer as truthfully as I could, knowing exactly why they brought forward every aspect of my life.

Forty minutes of endless questions passed, and I wet my throat with the water that had been placed in front of me as the four of them paused. They looked at each other and the woman, Eunji nodded, a satisfied smile on her lips. One of the men cleared his throat and drilled his eyes into me and I swallowed as my mouth immediately went dry again.

“I will tell you now so that there won’t be any misconceptions in the future. You will work with a passion pay the first three years; do you understand?” I nodded, knowing fully well what I’d gotten myself into. The salary would be lower than average, and the days would be long, but this is what I dreamed of, “You will work under a head stylist, doing what they say, when they say with no discussions?” I nodded again, rather thankful that someone would guide me through this whole new world, “You will not speak with anyone outside about what is going on within the company, respect your management and the idols working here because your future in the industry depends on the quality of your character and your clients satisfaction?” I nodded again and the man sighed almost tiredly as if he was used to give this lecture at every interview, “Most importantly. As you are hopefully informed of, any sort of involvement, be it romantically or sexually with your designated clients will lead to your immediate termination and your possibilities of growing within the company or any other company will disappear”

I nodded again, determined to not let a boy group put a foot into my career.

…….

I started the very next day and quicker than I realized a week passed, filled with meetings and a tight schedule. I’d been designated a group of eight young men, standing on the tipping point of debuting and every day was filled with wardrobe planning, clothes checking and jewellery making. I worked under the woman who first introduced herself to me, Eunji and I couldn’t be happier. Even amongst the ten to fifteen-hour shifts, catching sleep when I could, be it in a sofa next to my colleagues or in my car because driving home and messing up my apartment was too much of a hassle. Buying food from a local truck instead of making my own and always making sure that I had a bag of clothes and hygiene articles with me every time I left my apartment. It was tough but I loved every minute of it, the busy days and nights and working with a strong team that collectively worked under the same goal; pushing our clients towards the debut.

It was October, just a few days before D-day and I was sewing at my desk. There had been a wardrobe malfunction earlier in the day and my sewing machine had broken down yesterday, which forced me to work the old way. The jacket was a beautiful blood red and I bit my lip with concentration as I sewed hard, making sure that the thread wouldn't unwrap. I was so deep into my own world that I jumped when Eunji peeked her head into my office.

“What are you doing here? Did you forget about the meeting?”

I looked up in horror from what I was doing, glanced over at the clock on my sewing desk and nearly stabbed myself with the needle.

“Let’s go” she said with a scolding voice and I hung my head as I rushed over at her, needle and jacket still in my hands.

It had to be finished and be back on the hanger with the rest of the outfit within the hour and I didn’t have time to stop. I could see a smile tugging or her lips when she noticed that I didn’t abandoned my project and placed a strong hand on my shoulder, so I didn’t walk into things or people while I worked. She took me down a corridor, did a sharp turn, lead me down a flight of stairs and soon we joined up with five of my fellow stylist noonas, all with excited smiles on their faces. The door opened to show a simple meeting room and I looked up surprised when the scraping sound of chairs against the floor echoed among us. An explosive introduction made me take a step back in surprise and my colleague, who’s foot I just stepped on, gave me a sour look. I mouthed an apology before looking straight forward again.

Eight men stood in a half circle around the table and I quickly realized that they were the ones that I’d been working for. My clients who seemed to love breaking everything from simple shirts to unique masterpieces, jewellery that I’d spent hours on, and I had to admit, up to this point, even though I loved my job, the endless cycle of stitching their clothes back together was tiresome. But they had all just been names on a paper up to this point and now somehow, they all became real, with each introduction and me noticing something unique on each of them, like a necklace I’d fixed or a button that I was sure I'd sewed on their clothes. The conversation was rolling as the members and my colleagues talked amongst each other and the buzzing of voices made me zone out as I worked.

“Hey” A sharp voice broke through the laughter that erupted when one of the members, told a joke to my colleagues.

They all froze around me, but I didn't notice, too busy with my needlework until Eunji gave me a sharp shove. I looked up, confused to see them all staring at me until I noticed that the sharp ‘hey’ had come from the CEO. I swallowed and immediately bowed, scared for my life that I’d lose my job.

“What are you doing back there?” He asked and I gulped, not even noticing that I was standing at the back of my group.

My colleagues moved to the side and I held up the red jacket, before bowing again.

“I’m just sewing, Sir. I- I’m sorr-”

“You’re sewing…” The CEO spat out the words with disgust and I gulped, feeling like I had to puke with distress, “On the first official meeting with you clients. You're supposed to get to know each other and there you stand, completely uninterested. How unprofessional, how can you ever imagine that you’ll have a successful career if you can’t even hold a conversation without a needle in your hand, huh?” My body froze and my eyes teared up, but I was so much in shock that I couldn’t even raise my hand up to wipe them off, “Who’s jacket is it? One of your colleagues? Your own?” He stood up, and I opened my mouth but didn’t have the voice to answer. He gave me a few seconds to explain myself, but I couldn’t, and the loud noise when the CEO hand hit the table and him shouting, “Tell me!” that followed didn’t even make me flinch, too paralysed with numbing fear that I just stood there.

“Actually… It’s mine” the man who’d introduced himself as Hongjoong stepped forward and all eyes turned to him.

He gave me an apologetic smile, cheeks flushed with embarrassment, “I ripped the fabric earlier on the dance practice, it needed to be stitched back together as soon as we’re done here. I’m sorry that it caused an inconvenience, but it’s part of the wardrobe for Pirate King…” He trailed off and I could see how the red colour that’d flushed the CEO’s face disappeared, his outraged facial expression fell, and he turned pale of realisation. He looked over at me, mouth open, probably to give me an apology but I only saw him in my peripheral, not able to meet his eyes, tears streaming down my cheeks now and I could feel how my lips pulled up in a smile, more so because it was an imprinted reaction to show off that I was ok, but it didn’t reach my eyes and I backed up behind my colleagues again. Needle still in a death grip in my hand as I started to sew again.

Another week passed, the group I was working with had their debut stage and I cheered with them afterward. Happy about the number in the audience, that our hard work paid off. The rest of our evening was free, just to celebrate the success. A rarity that I treasured. Not because I had time to do what I wanted; God knows what I was going to do with that time, but because I was one of those people who needed some time alone to recharge my batteries, so to speak. I wasn’t very outgoing, and with far less hobbies than what might be considered normal. My work was my passion, my drive and I lived to create, to mould and see the appreciation and fascination in people’s eyes when I presented my work. I could care less about what was popular, be it music, books, series and movies. My group of friends was tight but few, most of them older and living in the outskirts of the city, working in offices with families of their own. People that I’d known basically my whole life.

I sighed, as soon as Eunji had peeked her head into my office and told me that I had the rest of my evening off, still deep into a project and had no thought about stopping, planning the wardrobe for the following week. It was more of a mind map, filled with trails of promotion interviews, showcases, stages and everyday looks for the members. It was something that Eunji herself was responsible for, but I guessed that she wouldn’t exactly scold me if I helped her, just a little. My room was dim, and I hummed softly along with the music streaming from my computer, the mind map covering my entire desk when a knock on my door made me flinch from surprise. My brows furrowed, who’d be at the company in this hour? It was after 22:30 and everyone was too busy enjoying their free time, treating themselves for a nice dinner for once or going out to get a drink with friends they haven’t seen in weeks.

“It’s unlocked” I said while turning down the music and my eyebrows rose in surprise when a familiar face peeked out behind the door.

“Hi noona, are you… busy?” Hongjoongs dark eyes twinkled in the soft hue of my desk lamp, a small smile playing on his lips as he looked out over the sheets of papers, covered with pieces of fabrics, photos of the latest runway fashion and pictures of himself and his members and I paused, biting my lower lip. I know how insane I must look, doing work that I didn’t even have to do late at night on the first free hours I’d had since I started. I shook my head,

“No… come in… or stay where you are… whatever you want to do” My heart jumped and I cursed my nervous personality, never being able to form concrete sentences in front of people I didn’t know so well when I was caught off guard.

But Hongjoong didn’t seem bothered as he came in and closed the door. The soft click as it fell in place made me swallow hard and my confused heart thumped in my chest as he sat down in a chair in front of me. He looked so different than how I was used to seeing him. I was often one of the last ones he saw before going on stage, my main work involved a touch up and made sure that the clothes and overall look was perfect. Now, with the oversized clothes, a beanie on the top of his head and a facemask resting over his chin, a can of soda in one hand and a bag of chips in the other, like he decided to drop by just before going back to the dorm, made him seem like a different person and I placed my arms around me, almost like a self-hug, to protect myself from this sudden contrast.

“I… uh…” He placed his snacks on the table, took off the beanie, the dirty blonde hair spilling out and he dragged his fingers through it. It was already raked back as if he’d already done the same motion continuously since they left a few hours ago, “Came to say hi and make sure that you wouldn’t still be here” My brows furrowed and I wondered if I should be offended but he raised his hand and waved it quickly, “No, I mean. I recognize a workaholic when I see one. I just hoped that you’d be out with some nice company. Friends or… a boyfriend or-”

“I don’t have a boyfriend” I interrupted, awkwardly fast and Hongjoong smiled, slightly amused by my determined answer,

“Well, someone to brighten up your evening then”

My head cocked to the side as I looked away and opened my mouth, not sure what to answer besides the obvious fact that the only thing that brighten my evenings right now was his and his members faces just before they were going up on stage. When the fans screamed their names throughout the whole performance and then the feeling I got in my heart when I met their adrenaline pumped eyes afterwards while I dried sweat from their foreheads and fixed their clothes. Hongjoong cleared his throat,

“I also came to tell you that they, the management or whoever makes these kinds of decisions, want you to have a main focus”

I gave him a surprised look and felt how my face flushed red. It was rare that someone as new as me was given the opportunity to concentrate on one member. My heart swelled with pride, usually it was only styling noonas that had been working for at least a year or two that was given this sort of opportunity but I guessed that the situation was different since they were still a fresh group and needed someone who was going to get to know the specific member. Someone who could speak on their behalf when it came to styling, whether it be hair, make-up or clothes. Someone who knew them from inside and out, their preferences and what they’d absolutely refuse to do. Hongjoong scratched his neck awkwardly and he looked down at the table, his leg bounced restlessly, “Well… it’s me. They wanted you to have me. Something about your passion and... I don’t know, they will send you a letter to confirm. I just wanted to… tell you in person I guess” I nodded slowly, still in happy disbelief and Hongjoong nodded back, paused as if he wanted to add something more but instead stood up again, put on the beanie and pulled the face mask over his face, “Have a good night noona”

I replied with something similar but incoherent, the door shut in front of me and I flinched when I realised that he’d left, already missing his company.

…….

November came and the very first day was insane. I ran back and forth, checked with my colleagues to make sure that we had the schedule under control, getting a wardrobe malfunction when I couldn’t find the piece of accessory, a harness, that I desperately needed and broke down crying while I rushed down the corridors because the stage they were going to perform at was MNET and I refused to accept anything but success. After many phone calls and much more searching, I finally found it and returned to the waiting room where the group was designated to hang out until it was their time to perform. I basically stumbled through the door, the harness in my shaking hand and Hongjoong rose up from his half sitting position on the couch, careful not to wake Mingi who was snoozing next to him.

“Hey, are you ok?” He squeezed my shoulder and I nodded quickly and swallowed. I refused to feel sorry for myself when I rubbed the tears from my eyes so I could see properly as I guided his arm between the connected parts and then secured it over his chest, finally taking a deep breath for the first time in minutes when his outfit was assembled. Feeling his heart beat fast under my distracted hand and I realized I kept it there just a little too long. I looked up, his soft brown eyes met mine and I swallowed and removed my hand from his body as if I’d burned myself.

“I’ll see you in thirty minutes, I need to…uh… clean-up”

I clenched my jaw, an apologising smile on my lips as I closed my eyes and left without looking back, rushed into the nearest bathroom and my breath shook as I splashed my face with cold water.

The rest of November was filled with fan signings, meetings and promotional stages and we travelled from town to town almost in a hurry, only pausing to properly rest the last night in Busan.

The day had been busy, filled with coordinated steps to make everything, from their arrival- to the check in at the hotel, run as smoothly as it could. It was dark now and we’d all, the whole team, just finished our dinner. The distinguishable smell of salt water, raw fish, seaweed and sand burned in our nostrils and I leaned back against a street sign with my belly full with food, standing on the other side of a stone wall that separated the sidewalk and the beach, my eyes towards the star splattered sky as I took deep breaths, filled my lungs completely with chilly winter air before I exhaled again. A scream interrupted my calm state and I opened my eyes again to see the group I’d come to love, run around like children across the wet sand. I wanted to say something, stop them from getting the sand on their clothes and into their shoes but Eunji placed her hand on my arm as if she was thinking just what I was thinking.

“They deserve it, just let them be boys for a couple of minutes”

The thirtieth of November marked the finish line for everything we’d worked for the last 6 weeks and I sighed in the backseat when Hongjoong filmed the road ahead, talked to Atiny through a video camera about the end of their first era. He’d let his hair grow, proudly pronounced that he wanted a mullet the other day and I'd only nodded, because why not. He looked good in it and more importantly, he felt good in it, proudly tugging on the strands of hair while I watched him from behind. His other hand stifling a yawn.

The cold morning turned into a cold day and I shuddered slightly where I stood next to the camera man that recorded their log. Ready to jump in if they needed me. They had heat packs to warm their hands and I thanked Eunji when she handled me one as well, a smile on her face and I returned it, happy to work under someone so considerate.

They played a game and as soon as I saw the word the other members had picked for Hongjoong to not be able to use; I knew he’d lose. They spoke, thanked Atiny and my prediction was right. The surprise on his face was hilarious and I had to bite on my lip to prevent myself from laughing.

“Noona” He complained later when we were back at the company, “Can you help me please?” I gave him a puzzled look and he grabbed an eyeliner from the make-up table nearby, “I lost earlier, remember?

“Ah” the challenge from the fan meeting popped up in my head and I gulped as he stepped into my intimate zone, basically flushing his body against mine before handling me the pen.

“Make me pretty?” He said and fluttered his eyelashes and I couldn’t help it when a small chuckle escaped my lips from his antics.

“I love hearing you laugh” He whispered, eyes meeting mine behind heavy lashes and I inhaled sharply, hoping that he wouldn’t notice that my heart picked up in speed.

…….

December was quiet. It felt like I could breathe again with a schedule that wasn’t as full. Most of it just preparations for their comeback in the middle of January. They had a photoshoot and there was a small interview where the main question was what they wanted and hoped to do in 2019. But other than that, silence. I’d been working non-stop like I usually did though, but at a much slower pace, enjoying the time I could put on my projects, instead of just stressing out a product. I had taken baby steps with my new role as a personal stylist so far. Simply just designing the clothes or putting together outfits, some perfectly fine as they were and some, I had to do alterations on. I was thankful, it was scary sometimes, because people depended so much on me to take care of Hongjoong’s entire wardrobe and I’d never done anything similar before. I was a designer, I knew fabrics, colours, what was it in the fashion industry and Hongjoong’s style was unique, different than what I usually worked with. But he helped me a lot. Spending time with me in his studio and teaching me what he liked and what he absolutely refused, gave me inspiration to create new items, new accessory and I enjoyed simply spending time with him, eating take-out together and dreaming about the future. Listening to him talk about his passions, the music he created, the lyrics he wrote. His eyes bright and laugh even brighter, a cute flush on the tips of his ears as he spoke, dressed in clothes two sizes too big, and with that dark blonde hair, that I more and more often came to wonder the softness of, in a mess, often covered by a beanie or a cap. Soft pink lips tugged up into a smile whenever I spoke, a gentle look on his face, and I felt special, like he actually listened and didn’t just hear what I said, like I was the only one who mattered whenever we spoke.

I enjoyed the first days, took the proper time to revel in my free time in my apartment but soon enough I missed the days when I didn’t have to think about what I should do next, the days that passed in a blink of an eye and I almost hated to admit that I missed it. My friends told me that I should just enjoy it while it lasts. To load my batteries for the next comeback so to speak. But I was restless, went back to my office more often at the end of the first week, bored out of my mind as the days passed in a haze, both checked and double checked with Eunji if there was anything else I could do but she just repeated what my friends said.

“You will regret complaining in three weeks when you’ve been working on your feet for fourteen hours straight without a proper meal in your stomach”

I sighed and my fingers itched for something to do. I started another project, just after I finished another, pulled ideas from the fashion I saw around me and implementing whatever Hongjoong had told me. Creating new jewellery and mended clothes to make sure that nothing threatened to break.

I guess I knew but didn’t want to admit that I was lonely. I had daily contact with my mom and siblings back home, but I missed seeing more people I recognized, coming from a small town to living in a big city. I saw my friends every other week or so and even though I appreciated it, they were busy with their own lives, and usually the time we spent together ended up just being one or two hours, hasty trying to catch up over brunch or coffee and I dreaded to go home to my empty apartment. My bed was cold to sleep in, my fridge almost always empty and the walls closed in on me every time I locked the front door behind me.

I sighed as I watched time tick by on the clock at my desk, my fingers tapped restlessly over the piece of fabric I was fixing. A button had popped on one of Hongjoong’s shirts and I’d promised to fix it, half out of kindness and half out of boredom, even though it was one that wasn’t part of the stage wardrobe. I did some paperwork as well, finished some accessories I’d worked on and collected my things as the clock struck 23:00. I locked my office door behind me and then walked to one of the studios at the other side of the building, hoping that Hongjoong followed the familiar pattern he always did when he didn’t have anything else to do as well.

I knocked on the door, shirt in my hand and only a few seconds passed before a sleepy figure opened the door, “Hi” he said, rubbed his eyes before he yawned, stretched his arms over his head and I smiled at him,

“I’m finished with your shirt” I said and handled it to him, a confused wrinkle between his brows, looking a bit lost but he grabbed the shirt, looked at it, remembered with a nod and then thanked me before he stood aside to invite me in and sat down on the chair at the desk again.

I closed the door behind me, leaned against it as I watched him tip the chair back, legs curled up against his chest and he removed the cap he wore and aggressively rubbed his face with his hands as if he could remove the tired state he was in with the motion. The room was full of empty cans of soda, take-away carton boxes and snack packages and it looked as if he’d lived in the studio as much as I’d lived in my office these last days.

“You have a hard time letting it go too, huh?” I asked and he gave me a surprised look, “I mean, I do too. I miss it, the rush, having something to do every day. You with your performance and me making sure that you look amazing doing so”

He met my eyes and chuckled, “Something like that, yeah… " He hid his hands into the cuffs of his sleeve like he was frozen and stifled a big yawn. "I could’ve taken the first days off, most of the songs are already mixed, recorded and just waiting to get a voice over them but instead of going home and relaxing-”

“You’re here, sulking away, fingers itchy, your heart speeding and head in the clouds?” I interrupted and he bit his lip, nodding slowly, looking at me like he didn’t just see me but rather through me, for the first time. Like he recognized that we were two sides of the same coin. A mutual understanding blossomed between us and he tapped on his leg, restlessly as I looked away, nervously swallowing down the feeling of butterflies exploding in my stomach.

“I… need to go” I mumbled, and he sat up, a bit too quick.

“Why?” he asked as I placed my hand on the door handle and my heart skipped at the ache in his voice, like he didn’t want me to leave.

“Go home Joongie, your members need you. They miss their leader”

His jaw tensed up as he paused, and I knew that my words hurt him. He was already self-conscious of how much time he spent away from them, hiding in the safety of his loneliness rather than taking a step back and celebrating the completion of their first era with the people that was as close to him as his family.

“I want you to stay… ” he said, almost a whisper, like he didn’t really wanted me to hear but couldn't stop himself from speaking the words either and I felt my stomach jump as I opened the door and walked out, not allowing myself to stay any longer.

#kim hongjoong #kim hongjoong/reader #kim hongjoong smut #ateez kim hongjoong #part 1

6 notes · View notes

zoe-oneesama · 5 years

Note

Okie dokie, what are also your thoughts of Marinette in canon? I think she's annoying at times but overall a good character

My only issue with Marinette herself is sometimes I get second hand embarrassment when she’s stuttering because it can be a lot.

Other than that, I love her. (No surprise). And it’s because she’s the ONE CHARACTER that is allowed to grow. She’s the only one who admits when she is wrong AND apologizes AND tries to fix it. (Even when she doesn’t freaking need to sdjnjdbcsdkcn)

She’s the most well rounded. She has to be, she’s our POV character. There’s so much we know about her and yet they’ll slip in a little something something to keep adding to her (Her Grandmother’s Italian, who knew!)

I love how she’s creative and it works for her as a superhero. That she has the creative mind to pull together a plan from a random object given to her, and I hope they show Adrien struggling with the lucky charm in the kwamk swap if only so Marinette can hold that bit of pride. (And don’t worry Adrien stans, I also want Marinette to struggle with cataclysm. They got the Miraculous they got for a reason and I want it to show.)

I like that she’s multitalented. I’ve done cosplay, which, while it doesn’t have the sketch up portion, it is a lot like designing (making something from nothing) and it takes a loooot more skills than just being able to sew. You gotta construct bases and know how to style hair and do makeup. I learned to embroider for a cosplay and my next tackle has me working with resin. It’s not surprising that Marinette’s skills go outside sewing and I like that they kept true to that.

She’s so kind and empathetic and she does things for people just because she wants to and not just because she wants to. And she can apologize. That might sound basic, but it’s actually really hard to admit that you’re wrong, especially to someone you don’t like. It’s really admirable that she’s able to that when I know plenty of adults that can’t admit they’re wrong.

When it comes to rounding her out as a character and a person, she’s done well, but it feels like it’s out of necessity. I wish they’d try this with other characters, like Alya and Nino and even Chloe. Tiny little things that aren’t totally plot relevant but shape them as people, as characters.

My problems with Marinette aren’t Marinette’s faults but rather with the writing. The writers don’t treat her problems as real or relevant so they get glossed over. The writers haven’t connected her with her antagonist, she has no connection with Hawkmoth or Gabriel beyond the surface. (He’s the bad guy/He’s her idol is all we have). The writers don’t go in depth on how being a superhero id effectin her life, only sometimes pulling it out for a plot device before abandoning again.

She’s not taken seriously in her own show. She takes the burden for others mistakes. She is put in humiliating situations by the writers for comedy with no thought to how Marinette would deal with it afterwards.

Kinda of like Chloe, the injustices Marinette has faced has been said many times before, so I don’t want to repeat myself. But I love canon Marinette and I just want the writers to start loving her too.

#ml salt #marinette #my opinion #half salt #half praise #ask zoe

191 notes · View notes

thehappymessproject · 5 years

Text

81/100 - Giving ourselves focus and love by choosing one word for the year

This is very exciting for me to write about : I’ve never really done it.

A little bit more than five years ago, I just had discovered the incredible work of Dr. Brene Brown on vulnerability and courage, and it simply blew my mind. I felt like I was reading about one of the most important things I could ever educate myself on.

The books and her TED talks already had changed my daily life in subtle touches, but I wanted more. I also knew I needed more. I was afraid to forget about it in the next few months and hated the thought. So, I took some time to reflect, and over a couple of weeks, came to a big decision (especially for me who used to be commitment phobic in so many ways).

I would spend a year learning courage.

It became one of the most exciting years of my life. For me, learning how to be brave was essentially about saying yes to a lot of things I would have usually say no to out of fear, and no to a lot of things that would bring me comfort in the moment, but preventing me to do things that really mattered to me in the long run.

I tried out a lot of activities I had never tried, but felt curious about like climbing, sewing, baking pastries...

I paid a lot of attention to those moments where I would feel afraid, ashamed or uncomfortable, and pushed myself to be brave in my way of dealing with them.

Choosing to tell a friend that I was feeling hurt and set a boundary rather than silencing myself in hope it doesn’t happen anymore.

When really down, channelling more energy to do anything that would bring myself self-loving comfort rather numbing comfort.

Breaking off relationships that felt depleting to me.

It was a tiring year, sure. But it was also one of the most empowering ones. Each time I would choose the brave path instead of the comfortable one, I would feel stronger and more centred. Embodying the experience of bravery, training those courage muscles.

I realised at the end of the year, when I was feeling really sad about seeing what I called my brave year coming to a year, that I didn’t want to give it up, but I also didn’t want to repeat it as is either. I also noticed that overall, being brave for me had a lot to do with exploring my creativity.

So I decided to make the next year my creative year. I had so much fun!

I started taking way more photos, tried to learn guitar and piano for a while, spent a few months sewing like a crazy person, I wrote more that year than in the decade before, and towards the third trimester of my year devoted to creativity, started to paint with watercolours and do the lettering you can now see on my artsy Instagram account.

Both activities were those bringing me the most joy while allowing me to let my guard down : when painting, I was less attacked by the voices in my head trying to bring me down and discourage me. (ah, the joy of defence mechanisms bullying us...) I was finding more easily ways to bypass them than in any other setting.

I noticed that creating (and doing anything that mattered to me in my life) was only possible for me when I would take good care of myself. When I would commit to loving myself everyday by showing up. But self-care was so hard for me...

So... Yeah you guessed it, I took my practice to a new ground by declaring the following year my self-care year.

I had just discovered the existence of the Find what feels good channel on Youtube a few weeks before, I had ended my creative year with The artist’s way, a 8 weeks program using Julia Cameron’s wonderful book to discover or recover our inner artist, which had taught me how to journal in a way that would connect myself to my heart better than ever. And I had dabbled for a few years on and off with meditation. I had all the tools lying before me already.

As often when we live an intentional life, the Universe (or call it luck if you’re more comfortable) was helping in subtle ways that can only be noticed when we pay attention to the opportunities we are presented with, and allow ourselves to take them.

So I did just that. I finally found the courage to take better care of myself and making it a priority. That year was full of softness and whole heartedness. It felt like discovering the essence of who I was.

Since I was struggling with commitment (still), I focused on one self-loving activity at the time. A few weeks mostly meditating. A few weeks mostly doing yoga. A few weeks getting back to journaling. I thought I could choose which activity I would keep, but realised they all were giving me so much, and yet so differently that I wanted to keep them all.

I would still create more and more, and take my work as a psychologist to another level, and was struggling to make everything fit in my daily time. Now that I knew better what kind of life I wanted, I felt stuck at making it work as a whole.

So I dedicated last year to finding Balance. I loved it so much. It was like deepening everything I had built in the previous three years. The courage, the creative energy and the love.

It taught me how to be more flexible and finding way to make things stick, one step at a time, one day at a time and to honour my pace. I set up a few challenges to help on the way. Strengthened my morning routine that felt easier and more necessary than an evening one (currently working on that).

I explored how my love for art, psychology and writing could be intertwined. It felt like coming home to myself.

This “year” actually took a little bit more time. I used to choose my word of the year at the end of summer. But last September, I felt stuck. I had just moved to the other side of the globe (another marvellous consequence of all that personal inner journey), felt completely thrown out of balance and quite depleted.

Then, a few weeks ago, after a few months finding my footing back, it was suddenly obvious. What I struggled with and had to practice the most lately was letting go : finding ways to trust myself, my intuition and the process. I’d say in short : trusting the universe and finding the flow.

So this year will be my year of flow.

I started by deciding that my practice could now fit better at the beginning of the year rather the school year, the end of the year being a perfect time to reflect and gather our bearings, taking stock.

When I’m down, finding flow is about giving myself the time and space necessary to heal, letting go of the shoulds and musts.

When I’m really happy, it’s more about finding pace, not over doing it.

It is already teaching me how to let go of things, people and spaces that were really important at a time, but became depleting over time. I have never ever felt as free and can’t wait to see more of what this year is going to teach me.

Choosing one word to devote every year to has with no doubt changed my whole life from the inside out. Like a soothing lighthouse in the dark, it gives me a focus point to always rely on.

I am never feeling like time passed by without my awareness anymore, being intentional makes time pass more slowly and mindfully. It is helping me to remind myself over and over what is important, and what gets in the way and distract me. It is teaching me more about myself than I ever felt possible. It is allowing me to create the life I really want.

If reading that essay inspired you to find your own word, I would love nothing more than to know which one you chose and maybe why f you would feel comfortable sharing.

Here are a few questions that can help to start : What are you feeling like you lack of? What would your ideal 2019 be devoted to? What is preventing you from living your best life right now?

Write your answers down and any word that come up too : it will help you a lot to make it real, tangible. The right one for you will spark something in your body when you write it or if you start making art around it. Let yourself feel it, and trust it. Your heart knows.

See you soon, Love, L.

#intention #meaningful #personal #personal journey #focus #100 days project #100 days of writing #the happy mess project #psychologist #counselling #therapist #bravery #creativity #self learning #self care #balance

3 notes · View notes