#idk who should be wendy

[dailydst]

day 6

#dst art #dst wendy #dst abigail #dst webber #don't starve #i wanted to be cool and mysterious on this account without interacting with anyone #but #someone whos art ive loved for years followed me today (a day or two before you're reading this) and im freaking the fuck out #man #how is a dude supposed to keep up his unflappable persona in these conditions #should i make an actual main to follow people with #idk how tumblr works

[unproduciblesmackdown]

third times the charm re: distilling a [winston billions autistic character] jumping off point re: like, applications of individual responsibility Bootstraps Narrative attitude just in general when it comes to some people being Made more vulnerable than others, and the way that these differences are Deserved, the solution to someone suffering for it is for them to personally choose to better themself to thusly earn more, and for, conveniently, Punishment to be a neutral conduit of moral improvement, should you be so deserving as to accept it

if someone interprets an autistic person as offputting & reacts to this with disdain b/c of an imagined correlating Undeserving Interiority within that person, that’s objective & correct, & however they punish that person is as well. autistic people should have to Do The Work of making up for their previous failure to simply Learn how to act correctly, since allistic people definitely underwent ABA & now think of themselves as choosing to act that way rather than just Naturally Being Normal (wherein also any conscious effort is just ascribed to further personal positive qualities of theirs, the Kindness / Generosity / Thoughtfulness etc etc in striking up small talk or whatever, while ascribing thoughtlessness / disrespect to nd behavior), and in the meantime a) the best an autistic person can hope for, if, like a properly humble poor person, they deserve the pity, is that equivalent of a windfall of the charity some better off individual can Choose to afford them, e.g. like if an autistic employee happens to have some manager or someone who can & does look out for them / tries to insulate them from nonsense....and at the heart of the matter, the double empathy problem Is deserved, the solution to an autistic person being disliked is either that they shouldn’t be here at all, or that if they can endure existing somewhere that’s actually beyond what they can manage to Earn, they deserve the punishment of being nobly treated “the same,” i.e., oh if Anyone was acting like this i’d be an asshole to them, which is why people don’t even need to Know someone’s autistic to react to the reality of their being autistic, the person in question doesn’t even need to know it about themself....and ultimately it’s worse to Not try to yourself punish, or allow the punishment of, this weirdo grating cringe loser, b/c only the cleansing nature of that punishment will let them personally improve & start acting better & Deserving better, otherwise you’re just enabling them to keep being annoying at other people & those other ppl’s annoyance is Also blood on your hands (then it’s time to turn around & let people even Higher Up on the social hierarchy do whatever they want / bend over backwards to interpret & explain & justify everything they do in the most positive lights & blame other people for being hurt by them) 

and like, the handy flexibility re: what’s Deserved when, say, how other characters look at a character like ben kim. he’s Too Nice, and that can mean that he deserves better, or it can mean that that’s a bleeding heart doormat loser trait that deserves the disdainful punishment it might get. and even if you Do think he deserves better? the reason he isn’t Already getting that better treatment must be due to personal failure anyways: he Is being too much of a loser &/or how he’ll only get better if he Steps Up & Acts more like a winner, for god’s sake, do the elevator dance stuff, that’s not only reasonable but obvious, cmon. tuk’s weird Confidence Training masterclass where it’s like, softhearted ben will be like “sorry :/ nothing anyone can do though” but tuk can’t go “hey, can you not be an asshole to me” and expect to get anywhere if he’s still being his too uncertain self, it’s on Him to start acting out the extrinsic behaviors of a winner and Then other people will totally start respecting him, is how this works lol....that it’s cringe for winston to Say he’s good at what he does & is valuable, b/c umm if you were Really valuable then the Natural recognition of that & corresponding positive treatment would Of Course have already manifested, and since it hasn’t, he isn’t Really deserving, and since he’s claiming to be deserving, that’s also proof he’s out of line being aggressive & arrogant like that. that it’s Also like, cringe & even crass of him to mention like, yeah i’m hoping to get paid here lol, again you’ll Of Course be paid as much as you want if you Deserve it, but if you deserve it you’ll actually mostly talk about being here and wanting to Win at it for cooler reasons, b/c ppl who are winning / more powerful than you in Whatever realm have those benefits that have just spontaneously & naturally been afforded to them b/c they deserve them more On Merit, and meritous people Are better than those beneath them and thus Will seem epic. and in the same way that ben kim seeming Too Nice can be handily interpreted as a “positive” (without truly challenging any negative assessment) or a negative, it’s like, oh winston’s Also undeserving b/c of the fact his outfit was uniquely significantly cheaper on the burn rate rundown, it’s actually Cooler to have your undershirt cost a thousand bucks, it’s costlier b/c it’s better, you buy the better clothes b/c you Deservingly have the money and thus also have the Deserving tastes to want the pricier shit. yet it’s like, cue a post of yore mentioning like analysis of agatha christie’s writing where like, oh the nouveau riche’s personal fashion & decor choices are always a bit too indulgent & overdone, vs. the refined elegant restraint of those with True Class(tm), when really any trend where Not going as ham with adornment/decoration was “better” / a signifier of properly noble Old Money was a reaction to flashier stylings Becoming more common / attainable for the less established rich / Less rich, period....the way that an identity that is defined by / requires Othering people will always have to react Against what everyone else is doing so long as that association is relevant in the cultural consciousness. ugh women do that, so it’d be too Effeminate of men, so men shouldn’t Want to do it anyways b/c they’re too inherently epic in the ways that make them better than women already, & if they Do, it’s some artificial corruption....anyways, it’s that if someone Undeserving were to indulge in pricey shit, that’d be a veneer to compensate for the insecurity of how they don’t Truly Deserve fancy shit (which wouldn’t look like deliberate flashiness anyways, of course. simply The Taste) but if they were to rather be sticking to too pedestrian / inexpensive shit, that’s Also about the insecurity of how they don’t Truly Deserve fancy shit / indication that they lack the Taste to even Know how to want better, and the best they could do is an identifiably lesser mere Imitation of what better ppl choose for themselves

meanwhile shoutout to how, of course, if winston is being treated badly on an individual interpersonal basis, that’s exactly in line with All Of This lol. he deserves it, if he deserves better He has to make the change, and in the meantime since that Bootstraps Narrative is justification for things being the way they already are, conveniently anyone else can keep getting whatever they get out of another person being so diminished as to not Deserve to be regarded as & treated as a person in the way that they do....autistic employees “making up for” their being autistic by working harder, Anyone working harder (ben kim) b/c surely that’s the only way to get a raise or promoted or not fired & if you don’t jump into the ring of like compensation negotiation & win (ben kim) then you don’t deserve the raise, conveniently....you Do have to walk away & Prove that you can do better, taylor Should Have Had To Do All This actually, even though probably mafee wouldn’t Really argue that directly, wild how whatever you say that’s a Negative about winston / sabotages any effort of his must, flexibly, be true & fine....if we thought Some People didn’t inherently deserve the increased vulnerability to harm in various manifestations, then that’d have enough reverberations that wouldn’t be contained to “maybe stop being like this to your coworker,” and in the meantime we can all just Tell that winston sucks & thus he brings it upon himself & the Rewards that people get for what they’re actually bringing upon him >>>> winston having a more tolerable time, not to mention that actually it’ll Help him in the end if, to make the punishment stop, he finally decides to deserve Better by improving himself, bootstraps time, [become nondisabled] style

oh and addendum too about like [any begrudging acknowledgment that winston perhaps Does have value tied to an especial individual talent] wherein it can be like ugh This asshole got in on a Technicality, he can crank out this coding or whatever but that’s Mechanical rather than something any of us need to attribute to an Inherently Deserving Human Interiority and like be impressed with or admire or respect or some shit like that, he’s basically cheated to get be here & so long as he isn’t forced out we can at least Use him. feel free though to be a complete asshole to him for real

#another blogger moment of just saying some shit. probably other specific examples i meant to bring up but didn't #i mean it's the Entire intrinsic / extrinsic thing lmao. operating under a premise that there Is an objective hierarchy of Intrinsic Worth #(or characters are; mostly; but if it wasn't a common irl assumption / ideology too then idk uh [encompassing gesture]) #and wherein it's like. questions of ''do you actually think Anyone would deserve [xyz] treatment even if they supposedly were thee worst'' #and ''do you think [xyz] should be done to people b/c the Suffering therein is supposedly good for them actually'' #like regardless of anything winston does (which like...is mostly withering & coding in the corner...what) it's like #if it's so intolerable then fire him? is it actually chill for rian's dynamic w/him to be somewhere around [his bully] or [abusive friend] #like At All much less even if she's the most awesome winning sympathetic person in the world & he's some asshole who sucks at everything #and even perhaps if she's getting anything out of it. even perhaps if you also dislike winston / think he Could & Should be different.... #imagine wendy brings the attempts at systematic aba for real l o l (wretched) (she also brings it organically anyways) #winston billions #and whatever all's going on here....who knows. a blogger saying some things. your guess is as good as mine #tfw ppl think ppl are just desperate to Read Into the least shit abt themselves & Self Dx As Autistic For Clout / how ohhh disabled ppl need #Special Treatment out of Sympathy/Pity / ohhh disabled ppl are actually all asking too much of us all & using Excuses.... #certainly easier to Not actually fundamentally question &/or alter your understanding of the concept of disability #like no i will Not conceive of the fact that making eye contact during a convo is not a universal human behavior hinging on basic respect #to look away isn't neutral or to help someone actually listen to you better. e.g. being autistic Has to be An Excuse(tm) #adhd would be Solved by me if only they all cared as much as i do where Choosing To Remember = Remembering. excuses excuses #winston as a Totally Objectively offputting asshole doesn't deserve basic respect as a person; nor as a colleague / coworker / employee... #he definitely deserves the punishment to Specifically Not have casual acquaintanceships; friends; lovers; partners; family is saddled w/him

[ltpolari]

doesn't surprise me considering this: louisshomesharry/732996598339108864

oh

#there are a lot of fandom discourse to be had #we can argue all we like but fandom rn doesnt fucking matter #fuck anyone whos refusing to read and educate themselves and just choosing to gobble up whatever the western media is feeding them #we have descendants of holocaust survivors who grew up in zionist households but still managed to question the status quo and are #now actively supporting the liberation of palestine. #idk dude. this puts a bad taste in my mouth. #'how could the normal people let it happen' we would ask when reading history books #WELL YOU'RE LETTING IT HAPPEN NOW. and worse because we have social media now everything is broadcasted and yall just actively choosing not #to fucking care!!! #like???? you see all these posts from palestinians and just pull a wendy williams. aw she passed away aw :( #the broadcasted massacre should fucking radicalise you #AND YES i agree that silence on social media doesnt mean you're not having discussions irl whatever #but it is glaring if you're loud about other else and completely silent about this #we have update accounts in this fandom who are very quiet right now when they would be the first to post about any other world issues lol #your silence is loud and clear x #anyway. bye #a

[chisatowo]

Rotates Wendy gender moments in my head at rapid speeds

#rat rambles #I feel like I need a tag at this point but like wtf would I make it fucking starve posting??? together posting???? like idk man #I should just make it wendy posting /j #idk Ill get back to it #anyways just thinking abt him after warly joins the group having like two seperate spirals one over the inability to accept any sense of #comfort or normality after getting so used to just the fight for the next day that any change from that feels terrifying #and the other is that the surrounding of ppl that tend to gender him pretty regularly is finally making him start to crack #and he sees the latter as the bigger deal since hes convinced himself of like a billion different reasons its not ok fjdhfbfhf #I have like a whole mini story in my mind where he impulsively goes off on his own after getting too overwlemed by all of this and just #wants to get away from everyonr for a while but walter turns up and doesnt read the room so now theyre on a semi unwanted roadtrip together #wendy wishes he only let him stay because of abby but alas he helps him stay sane too so whatever #its just wendy being like there is no light in my life except abigail and then seeing a spider and being like I miss webber :( #and walter is just being walter but also kind of having his own lil everything sinking in crisis but like hes. attempting to cope. ish. #as in hes kind of doing everything in his power to just not think abt it which is why he himself headed off on his own lil trip #and back home webber and the others are probably very worried rip #oh also abby is having a bit of a Moment too but mostly outside of wendy's pov (aka when hes asleep) #also yeah I may or may not have like. quite a bit in my head for abby character stuff. it may or may not be a problem. #mostly just her being a very social person who cant properly talk to anyone but wendy most of the time and it driving her kinda crazy #along with her not quite wanting to grapple with the fuzz in her head that is the time between her death and her and wendy coming to the #constant and also the fact that shes well. dead. #its a lot easier to not think abt it too hard when shes able to busy herself well enough but with wendy being more out of it and abby not #being quite able to focus herself fully on helping him since she wants to wait for him to cool off a lil first #it leaves her with a lot more time to like. notice things. #like how wendy's face has changed slightly. or how hes nearly lost all of his baby teeth by now. or how his hair seems to be getting darker #just small changes that she hast experienced. that she'll never experience. #she doesnt like thinking abt that kind of stuff and as such attempts to use walter for distraction with mixed results #its just them trying to find ways to communicate in a very hopeful and earnest manner and then like an hour later theyre just head in hands #sitting by the camp fire trying not to cry while wendy twitches violently in his sleep and snores loudly #just 3 kids on the verge of a breakdown camping in the woods what could possibly go wrong

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

NFWMB (Nothing Fucks With My Baby)

Pairing: Reader x Venom

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: you get kidnapped, there's some cannon level violence, nothing to write home about <3

Genre: idk if I should really classify this as angst fr but the ending is fluffy!

Summary: Carnage returns, his mission remains the same; kill Venom. And he plans to use you to do it.

Based on this ask by @weebnotheree (thank you so much for the request, I know it took a while so I appreciate your patience, I hope you like it <3)

***

"Hey y/n!" Your coworker skirts over to your desk with curious excitement.

"Yes?" You glance up from your computer at her.

"Your boyfriend is a reporter isn't he?"

"Correct. Where is this going exactly?"

"Well do you think he'd be able to come cover the charity gala this weekend?" She asks.

"He doesn't really- cover this sort of thing? He'd need to get assigned to it. But I can check with him, he can ask his boss and maybe they'll send someone else down." You concede. It can't hurt, after all, you do need the exposure for the event anyway.

Hours later, after you've both gotten home from work and eaten dinner. You're winding down for the day with Eddie by watching a show together when you propose the question from your coworker.

"Eddie quick question." You say, not lifting your head from his shoulder.

"Yeah?" He's been tracing patterns against your leg for the past ten minutes.

"Do you think you could come cover the charity gala this weekend? My coworker Dani thought it'd be a good idea." You tell him.

"I don't usually write those sorts of pieces." He hums.

"I know I told her, but I also told her I'd ask anyway. It doesn't have to be you, if your boss sends someone else that's fine. We're just aiming to get more eyes on the event." You shrug.

"I'll talk to my boss. He'll probably send someone. Not me though."

"Yeah that's fine, I know these aren't your thing, you don't have to come." You say.

"Say what?" You feel him shift to look at you.

"I drag you to enough work functions. I'll let you skip out on this one." You pat his chest lightly.

"Don't have to tell me twice." Eddie snorts turning back to the TV.

"Technically I already did tell you twice." You chuckle.

"Smartass." He pinches your thigh.

"Always." You sit up just to wink at him.

The following day, you are accosted by Dani pretty much as soon as she walks into the office.

"Did you ask him?"

"Ask who, what Dani?" You ask though you know exactly what she's talking about. "Also have you forgotten that the proper way to start a conversation is with a greeting? What happened to hi? What happened to how are you?"

"Hi, how are you? Did you ask your boyfriend about covering the gala?" She says.

"Hi Dani, I'm doin' alright. How are you?" You ask her.

"Y/n!" She huffs.

"Yes Dani I asked. He said he'd talk to his boss. Knowing Eddie, someone will probably be at the gala. It's handled." You finally cave and give her the answers she came for.

"You're the best!" She tells you.

"I know, thanks." You chuckle. You shrug.

The day of the gala is chaos from the minute preparations start. It's not really anything that surprises you and you've been handling everything that comes your way with ease.

"Y/n!" Your coworker Wendy grabs your attention when you're sorting out something with one of the photographers.

"Yes Wendy?" You aks.

"The uh catering staff is here do you know where they're supposed to-"

"They just got here?! They were supposed to be here an hour ago! Who was on that? They should've been checking for- oh never mind! Their tables are over there on that wall and tell them to hurry Wen the event is literally starting." You sigh pointing her in the right direction. The event is just gaining momentum, doors opened about twenty minutes ago and aside from the catering situation that has just been taken care of, as far as you know, everything is precisely as it should be. At least you hope so since you did come here a couple of hours in advance to make sure things were ready. You aren't technically in charge of this event but you are naturally better at organizing chaos and these events tend to be a bit of a frenzy on the day no matter how prepared you are in advance.

Tonight is your company's annual charity gala. Every year the board votes on a cause to raise money for by hosting a huge party. This year's cause is a charity that supports kids getting involved in the arts. There are a bunch of art projects on display, some of which will be up for auction at the end of the evening, but the goal is to shmooze with the community members effectively enough that they want to support the charity. You spend most of these galas working optics; talking to reporters, setting up pictures, and just generally organizing things throughout the night. As part of the company's public relations department events like these are your specialty. Carefully curating the perception of everything that goes on here tonight with the help of the other members of the department here tonight.

You're pleased to say that a couple of hours in, the event is going off without a hitch. Once it's in full swing, you have your hands full giving statements to different press outlets and sending photographers to snap the board of directors with guests of the event. Just as you're preparing the host for his introductory speech, you notice a small crowd gathering by one of the large glass windows overlooking the city.

"What's going on over there?" The host frowns at you.

"I'm- not sure. Probably just some nightlife chaos got people's attention." You shrug but before you can walk up the stage there's a shout from a few of the guests followed by the sound of shattered glass as something crashes through that large window. The room erupts into chaos as red goop shoots out at people. It only takes you a couple of moments to realize the thing currently ruining your gala is Carnage. You didn't meet him or anything last time they faced off, but Eddie gave you enough of a description to come to that conclusion when you spot the bright red tentacles and eyes so like Venom's but different at the same time.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me." You huff quietly from where you're crouched behind a curtain with the gala host.

"What is that thing?!" He hisses.

"Doesn't matter. Find the nearest exit and run like hell." You tell him.

"What?! You want me to go out there?! What if it sees me?" He shakes his head. You poke your head out just enough to see Carnage. Weirdly enough he just seems to be picking up people and dropping them on the ground again.

"You ever seen that thing before?" You ask.

"God no!"

"He's looking for something. Unless you think it's you, I'd suggest taking the risk before he starts getting snackish!"

"W-what?!"

"We know you're here! We did our RESEARCH!" The man beside you is practically shaking as Carnage's deep voice rings through the room.

"He's coming this way, you have to move now." You say.

"What about you?"

"He's more likely to notice two of us. I'll be out after you." You're so busy directing the guy you don't realize how close Carnage is to you all until the curtain you're behind is ripped off its bar.

"AHA! THERE YOU ARE!"

"GO! GET OUT OF HERE NOW!" You shout to the guy as Carnage reaches for- you. He's reaching for you, you realize only when one spindly spider-like appendage wraps around your waist.

"How noble of you. We weren't after him- but if you must be the hero-" Carnage easily reaches the scrambling host before he can get to the door and all you can do is shut your eyes tight when Carnage lifts him up. It's only when his screams stop suddenly and something warm drips onto your arm that you're sure is blood. You don't dare to check what Carnage has done, but if you had to guess, he bit his head off; much like Venom does when you or Eddie allows him to. Your eyes only shoot open when Carnage starts to move again, swinging back out the hole he came in through and taking you through the city. You're in the air for quite some time before eventually, Carnage drops you, rather gently for a kidnapper, on the ground inside a dusty building.

"Hello, little thing." Carnage says to you.

"I could have sworn Venom dealt with you already." You cross your arms.

"Almost. I was lucky to escape."

"Unfortunate for the rest of us." You muse.

"Rude!"

"Let me remind you that you did kidnap me so excuse me if I'm not kind." You roll your eyes. "I take it my role is to lure Venom to you? Right?"

"Correct. He cares for you. So he will come."

"Of course, he will. Though, disrupting my work event was an unnecessary scene just to lure him out to- where are we?"

"An old firehouse!"

"Wow you really are a baby." You scoff realizing he's chosen another location where loud noise is common.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing nothing. I presume you have a different host now right? That other guy, the serial killer, died the last time, didn't he?"

"I am bonded to his blood! I can regenerate!"

"I'm sorry- so you regenerated… an entire head for your last host?"

"Yes!"

"That is- very strange." You frown. "Still, this place doesn't hold sentimental value to Cletus so- how will they find you?"

"Oh just call them." Cletus makes an appearance, finally, and rolls his eyes as he makes his request.

"Call them? You want me to call them and lead them to where you plan to kill them?"

"Yes. Or I'll kill you."

"That would be stupid. Killing me won't get you what you want." You scoff.

"CARNAGE! YOU TOOK MY CHOCOLATE DROP! I'M GOING TO RIP YOU TO SHREDS!!"

"Guess we don't need to call him." Carnage says pushing you into the fire engine that's collecting dust in the unused building.

"WAS DYING ONCE NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU?!" Venom stomps towards Carnage.

"Father. I'm not that easy to get rid of!"

"EVIDENTLY!" Venom charges at Carnage and the two of them are quickly destroying the old brick firehouse you're occupying. From inside the fire truck you're in, it's hard to tell who's winning for most of the fight. It's all too quick and too fluid the way they're throwing each other around. By the time you've gotten a handle on what's going on between the duo, Carnage has Venom pinned to one of the walls that they haven't totally ruined already. Frantically you turn towards the control panel of the fire engine, you can't imagine it's still fully operational but there's a chance you can find some way to make noise with this thing. You need to give Venom the upper hand somehow.

"V!" You shout and cover your ears for only a moment before pressing as much of your weight as you can into the horn of the truck and hoping for the best. You can't explain the relief that you feel when that horrid loud noise fills the small space and Carnage screeches. You let up on the horn once he stumbles away from Venom, his attention on you now that you've gotten involved.

"You!" Carnage snarls. You lay into the horn again before he can get to you and the sound seems to disrupt him enough to almost completely separate him from Cletus. You let up when Eddie has crept up behind them and Venom takes over to fully rip Carnage from Cletus by force. You didn't think that was possible and it is extremely strange to watch. Venom grabs Cletus with an extra appendage and holds him far in the air as he eats the angry red goop that is Carnage.

"EVEN WORSE THE SECOND TIME." Venom grumbles and you can't help but giggle a little. The noise makes Venom wink at you before turning his attention to Cletus. "THIS TIME STAY DEAD!" Venom says before biting his head off, out of your line of sight. You come out of the fire truck just in time to catch him dropping the body.

"ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!" Venom runs over to you and lifts you into his arms so you're eye level with him as he looks over you for injuries.

"I'm fine V. He didn't actually hurt me. You got here so quickly." You muse.

"EDDIE WAS WATCHING COVERAGE OF YOUR GALA." Venom explains.

"It was going so well until he crashed it." You pout. "You don't have any other errant children we should know about right Venom?"

"NO. NOT THAT I KNOW OF." Venom shrugs lowering you back to the ground.

"Good because this kidnapping thing is very inconvenient." You say. Eddie chooses that moment to reappear and he quickly wraps his arms around you.

"Y/n, baby, thank fuck you're okay. I am so sorry." He breathes out.

"You're sorry? What for?" You frown as you hug him back.

"If I had just come to the damn gala in the first place-" You pull back and hold Eddie's face in your hands to make sure he hears what you say next.

"No. It wouldn't have changed anything. In fact, it would actually have been worse I think. There were hundreds of people in that building and we were on one of the higher floors. The casualties if you had fought him there would have been so not worth it. This was the best outcome. I'm sure there were several injuries but I think there was only one death besides him so- don't apologize. Especially because there was no way you could've predicted him crashing my event. Don't blame yourself because other than a ruined charity gala and the inconveniences that come with a kidnapping, I've barely got some scrapes. You two did well." You tell him.

"We couldn't have done it without you. The fire horn was a great idea."

"Yeah well, you were going to die. And I didn't have any fire." You shrug. "We should get out of here though, I can't imagine it'll take much longer for authorities to get here in search of the red monster that crashed a charity event." You add.

"True. The party looked beautiful by the way. You know, before Carnage trashed it." Eddie says scooping you into his arms.

"Thank you baby." You kiss his cheek just before Venom appears again to take you all home.

"I WANT A KISS TOO! I DID ALL THE WORK."

"You can have as many kisses as you want V." You say kissing his cheek too as he walks out of the trashed fire station with you in his hold.

"I WANT ALL THE KISSES THEN!" He declares as he swings you both up into the air.

"Once we get home I'll kiss you til my lips fall off if you so wish my love." You giggle.

"NOT THAT MANY! IF THEY FALL OFF I WON'T GET ANY MORE IN THE FUTURE!"

"Okay okay. Reasonable amount of kisses, once we get home. Deal?"

"DEAL!" Venom says before taking off from building to building to get you home. There's no such thing as normal when your boyfriend is sharing his body with an alien you suppose, but you wouldn't have it any other way.

***

#marvel #marvel fanfiction #venom fluff #venom x reader #venom fanfiction #venom #eddie brock fluff #eddie brock x reader #eddie brock fanfic #eddie brock #venom angst ? #venom angst #requests

[kylelovskii]

hmmm what if reader gets into a relationship and Kyle is just not having any of it at all so he's still just pulling her into corners of parties and alleyways even when the partner is hanging out with them. risky and mean bastard Kyle best kyle- mean Kyle anon !! 💕💕💕

yes. this is just yes.

i loved this so much i had to get it out asap 😈🙏

idk…this kinda reminded me of superman by eminem 🤔🤔

how could it ever be just us two?

you’d been with eric for about a month. after that night with kyle, he just didn’t let up. he knew kyle wanted you, that’s why he had to win you over first.

your innocent physique and pretty face was all he ever wanted and more, so how couldn’t he chase after you?

eric took you on dates all the time. to parties, out to dinner, out shopping, all of these nice things, but somehow, kyle was almost always there somewhere.

it was another party, everyone from school was there. it was at kyle’s house this time. his parents were gone for some stupid date thing over the weekend, so he decided, what better way to see you then to throw a party?

you stood with eric, clung to his side, his arm draped over your shoulders. he was talking with clyde and kenny, but you weren’t one for parties, so you were pretty quiet unless someone asked you something or sparked up a conversation.

"hey, doll? i’m gonna go get another drink and talk with the guys, okay? why don’t you go find wendy or heidi?" he gave you a smile. he knew you didn’t like to be glued to his side all the time, so he always let you go hang out with your friends, too.

you nodded, letting go of him as he went to the kitchen, kenny and clyde following. you walked away from where you stood, looking around for one of the girls, hoping to at least find both. that was, until you bumped into someone tall.

you slowly looked up, unfortunately, realizing who it was. your eyes scanned over the gold chain, then up to his freckled face, then his black framed sports glasses, then his head of curly red hair. you let out a small whimper, fearing for the worst.

"you should watch where you’re going, doll."

he always called you that, making fun of eric because that’s was his signature nickname for you.

"i’m..uh sorry. i have to go find someone—" you tried to push past him, but he grabbed you by your hair. he always did that too. "ow, kyle, stop!" you tried to protest, gripping his wrist.

"stop it— cmon." he let go of your hair, grabbing your forearm and dragged you to a corner in the back of the house. he caged you, making sure people could see you, but also not be able to tell who you were.

"look at me, honey. hey. look at me," he demanded, trying to reach for your face. once he finally grabbed ahold of you, he leaned down, getting closer to you. "what’re you doing, huh? you should be with me, not the fat ass."

"kyle please— he will see me!" you ignored the question, averting your eyes, searching for eric, heidi, wendy, somebody. "does he make you feel the way i do? does he know what you want?" he kept asking these questions, but you couldn’t answer. well, couldn’t is a stretch. you didn’t want to.

"answer me, bitch. cmon." you looked back at him, his face contorted with anger and lust. you wouldn’t fuck him— no, not tonight. "he’s actually quite nice, kyle. he makes me feel quite good, actually. and quite frankly, he knows what i want, too," you spat at him.

his face changed, anger and lust to anger and disbelief. "oh? an attitude? never seen this before. maybe i need to teach you something about talking to your superiors, huh?"

"wait— nonono—" before you knew it, his hand was shoved up your skirt, moving your panties to the side. he stuck one finger in your hole, then another, moving them at a brutal pace.

he took his other hand and slapped it over your mouth to keep you quiet. whines and whimpers were muffled by his hand. you tried to get him to stop, but talking did nothing.

"cmon, quit denying me. you gotta leave him, baby. none of these guys know what you want or how to pleasure you like this. only i do," he said. you tried to train your eyes on him, but you couldn’t. he was right. he did make you feel good, but a different kind of good.

he said it again, but with a new tone. it sounded pained. "you gotta leave him, baby." then you gushed all over his fingers.

another time, eric took you out with all the guys to the mall. kenny, kyle, stan, and butters.

kyle slipped off to go to the bathroom, and eric told you, "we’re gonna go get lunch for us all, sweetheart. why don’t you go take a bathroom break, too?"

you nodded and turned to go to the girls bathroom, but then kyle grabbed you again, pulling you into the mens bathroom with him and locking the door. he didn’t say anything, just wrapped his arms around you and started kissing you.

you tried to pull away, "kyle— what—what’s the matter with you??" but he didn’t answer, just pulled you back to him, giving you different kind of kiss than any of the times he pulled you away from eric before. this was more passionate and sweet, but still a little aggression.

he finally pulled away to say something, "sorry, wanted to kiss you. is that so bad?" you looked at him like he was stupid. "you’re being weird. what happened to bitch this, cheap whore that?" he laughed. "thought you wanted me to be more nice? don’t worry, there’s plenty bullying to go around, just tryna soften you up a bit."

you tilted your head. "soften me up for what?" you questioned. he smiled. "for leavin’ him, of course. you gotta have a reason to."

and finally, for once, you smiled at him. "okay, kyle. let’s go before he finds us out."

this went on for…half a year. you saying you’ll leave eric, but you didn’t because you loved him. you loved kyle too, but just not enough. how could it ever be just the two of you? he loved you for your body, not you, but eric loved you for everything.

#x reader #south park #kyle broflovski #south park x reader #kyle broflovski x reader #south park kenny #eric cartman #bully!kyle broflovski #eric cartman x reader #smut #kyle broflovski x reader smut

[sirthisisa-wendys]

Hi Wendy! Hand her over II😱😱😱

I see Omi as a very loving & doting husband. So i think Mikey will probably say some shit like you're too old to satisfy your wife (let's say his wife is younger than him) -spoiler that's not true

Or i see Omi or Koko to make a wrong desicion that was possibility cause Bonten some trouble. They managed to handle it, so Mikey probably demand to sleep with wife as a punishment.

Mochi - maybe his wife didn't know he was part of Bonten or Mikey just thought that his wife is too pretty for someone like him,so decided to feed his ego that not only Mochi can sleep with that gorgeous girl.

Or another idea, idk who exactly, but like drunk Bonten played a poker and the looser should give Mikey one wish (like they didn't know what he will ask for)

Anyway, can't wait for this work, it's amazing

THANK YOU OH MY GOD

THANK YOU FOR THESE WONDERFUL AND AMAZING IDEAS

(Original requestor was @galactict3a so I'm adding them in this request!)

Hand Her Over II: Hajime Kokonoi/Takeomi Akashi/ Kanji Mochizuki x Fem!Reader

wc: 1.4k

tw: nsfw, dark content (gun themes, assault) Be forewarned all who read!

masterlist

Hand Her Over Megapost

It all starts with one little request. One small, simple question.

Takeomi Akashi

Takeomi's cigarette bobs in his mouth before he exhales, pulling the cheap tobacco and paper filter away from his face. Mikey is staring at him as if he'd asked Takeomi to borrow his right shoe, which - now that he thinks about it - he'd be hesitant to give him that, too.

"Y/n is not really keen on things like that," Takeomi mutters, placing his cigarette in the ashtray carefully. He stubs it out and then looks back up at Manjiro's empty gaze. "She's only ever been with me, so I'm going to have to decline on her behalf."

The look Mikey gives him is bored, but he persists. "She hasn't been with a younger man?" Takeomi frowns. "She's stuck with an old man for a lover. Shouldn't we see who the better one is?" Pride is something Takeomi tossed away long ago, but he feels it creeping back up at those words. "If I win this game," Manjiro whispers, placing a card in the burn pile. He doesn't even need to continue.

"No," Takeomi mutters back. "You won't. And she won't."

Takeomi thought he played a good game. He thought he would win. He really did.

"Baby," he whispers, scrubbing his coarse thumbs over your cheeks. "It's okay."

"Omi," you whimper, your glossy lips pursed into a pout. "I don't want to."

"I know," he replies, looking over your head at the aloof boss standing just off center. "But it's just one night." Even as the words come out, Takeomi can't believe he's saying something so heinous. Why would he allow his wife to be claimed by such a careless brat?

You look back at Mikey, and your entire body shivers. Mikey isn't really focused on you; he's more interested in his dorayaki. But even so...

"He's like a kid," you breathe, and tears come to your eyes. You don't get a chance to scrub them away before Takeomi is pressing you into his chest and letting you smear your makeup all over his shirt.

"Fuck this," he mutters. "Mikey, the deal's off. She doesn't want to." Manjiro looks up and frowns. He swallows before addressing Takeomi with that flat voice he likes to use when he tries to intimidate people.

"You'll give her to me or suffer the consequences." Takeomi moves you behind him protectively and proudly proclaims,

"Fuck you. You're not even half of what Shinichiro was if you think you can throw your weight around like this."

Something in Mikey changes, and Takeomi sees the switch flip. He has no time to move. Before you can stoop to help your husband, he's crouched over, the swift kick to the gut rendering him useless. He moans in pain, but Mikey's not done.

Takeomi isn't sure when the beating began or ended. All he knows is that he's in a lot of pain on the penthouse floor and at some point, he blacked out.

When he comes to though, you're bent over the couch, and Mikey has a fistful of hair in one hand. In the other, he's holding a gun to your head and huffing something Takeomi can't make out.

"...look at him..." Mikey mutters, his fingers tightening in your hair. "Look at how weak he is. Do you want a man like that? Hm?"

Takeomi's whole body is on fire, and he can barely get up, but when he hears your reply, he's rendered absolutely useless. You stare at him with tears collecting on your lashes and running down your bruised face and whimper,

"No, no."

Hajime Kokonoi

Kokonoi laughs at Manjiro, then leans back in his seat leisurely. "I don't have a wife." Mikey stares back at him with a look that says he doesn't believe him, but Koko steeples his fingers and shrugs. "Tough luck."

"No wife," Mikey replies coldly. "Not even..."

"Don't." Kokonoi snaps, squinting his eyes. "Don't you dare mention him."

"I wasn't." The him they're referring to isn't in the room - he's not even in the same city currently - and Mikey sits down in the chair across from Koko's desk.

"Your... beard." It takes a minute for Kokonoi to get it, but when he does, he leans forward.

"She's not going to agree to be your plaything."

"Why? Is she too busy with Inu--" Kokonoi gets up and reaches across the desk, grabbing Mikey's shirt roughly.

"Listen, you slimy fuck, leave them out of this." Mikey glances up at Koko's reddened face and smirks, catching on to the plot a little quicker than he had anticipated. Koko clears his throat quickly and lets Mikey's shirt go, regaining his composure with a slow brush of his fingers over his white hair. Koko's thin fingers work to straighten his shirt, and then he stands up, exhaling sharply.

"If that's all you came in here to ask for, then you're not going to get it. Have a good evening, Manjiro."

Mikey gives him a lingering stare that seems to drag on for ages, but he finally gets up and leaves, shutting the office door behind him. Kokonoi stands at his desk for a brief moment to let the man fully disappear, then he scrambles for the phone in his desk drawer.

With shaking fingers, he dials the first number he knows by heart, and when he hears the voice that answers, a sigh of relief washes over him.

"You and y/n need to get out of the house... don't ask questions, Inupi. Just go. You know where the safe house is." Kokonoi hangs up, snapping the phone closed, and he gathers a couple of necessary items from his desk before heading toward the door.

He doesn't have long, but if all went to plan, he wouldn't need time. He'd just need his money, the passports, and a bit of luck.

Kanji Mochizuki

"You haven't told her, have you?" The muffled shouts echo in the large room, coming from both you and your husband. The orchestrator of the events stands before you, examining your face with a look in his eye that's unmistakable.

You'd seen it many times before - the look of hunger and lust - thanks to your short career as a runway model. Short, because you married Mochi, not because you weren't beautiful. Mochi never looked at you with the unbridled need to dominate you, nor did he have the capacity to bend you to his will.

But it seems he worked for people who did.

"Mochi," the man murmurs, looking away from you for a brief second. "You should have told her what happens to pretty girls who snoop around."

Mochi strains to scream past the duct tape over his mouth, but it's futile. Just as futile as tugging on the ropes that have you bound. A cloth gag is in your mouth, and any person with two brain cells could decipher why.

"Answer me this," the dead-eyed man states, stooping down to look at you. "Do you know what Bonten is?"

You do, but you shake your head 'no,' as a tear slides down your face.

"No?" The man blinks and trails a finger down your cheek, following its path with his lips. "He's a good husband for protecting you, isn't he?" You nod.

"He shouldn't have to watch this, should he?" You hesitate. "Or should he be rewarded for keeping secrets?" You choke out a sob, more tears sliding down your face. "The great Kanji Mochizuki," the man announces as if he were a ringmaster. "Brought to his knees by the one and only Manjiro Sano." Manjiro. You know that name. He squats in front of Mochi and roughly removes the tape from his mouth. Mochi is already spitting curses at him, shaking with rage at the sight of his boss lording over him.

"I'd watch your tongue," Manjiro warns. "Someone might feel the urge to take it out of your mouth." Mochi gathers up as much spit as he can in a millisecond and hocks it at Manjiro with enough force that it lands on his shoe. You tremble with fear. This could be the end.

"And with that," Manjiro mutters, standing. "I've changed my mind." Your eyes widen, but Manjiro places more duct tape over Mochi's mouth. "I don't want your sloppy seconds." Preliminary relief floods through your veins as you slump down, thanking whatever god was looking down at the moment.

"But I know someone who does." You stiffen and look up, just as a pink-haired man appears from the shadows, smiling widely. Your body feels like ice as soon as his gaze sweeps over you.

The scream Mochi emits past the duct tape is just as haunting.

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers smut #takeomi akashi x reader #takeomi akashi #kokonoi hajime x reader #hajime kokonoi x reader #hajime kokonoi #kanji mochizuki x reader #kanji mochizuki

[ckret2]

👀 I want to hear more about this Bill AU

You were the very first person to send me an ask about the Bill AU, and it was an open-ended question, so I've been saving your ask special for... a fanfic. IDK how often or how much I'm gonna write actual full fic for this AU but for now, here: the first half of Bill's reunion with the Pines family. (Attempted murder included.)

####

February 25, 2013

The vengeful demon standing in the door of the Mystery Shack possessed only four items in the universe:

Two safety pins.

A time tape tied around his waist like a belt.

And a tunic he'd fashioned himself in the style of an ancient Greek Ionic chiton, folded and pinned so perfectly that the wearer must have seen them thousands of years ago when they were at the height of fashion.

Soos couldn't identify an authentic Ionic chiton. All he could tell was that the lady at the door was wearing a toga made out of a bright purple Pony Heist children's bedsheet.

Soos laughed, flashing the tourist a double thumbs up. "Hey! Awesome toga. That should really be like a thing. Imagine if we all wore togas. We could just wake up, roll our bedsheets around us like a burrito, and go out!"

Distractedly, the tourist answered, "Careful, you can't tell when Big Fashion is listening in." 

"Haha. Who?"

The tourist didn't reply, and she hadn't looked at Soos once; instead, her gaze was darting around the shop searchingly.

"Are you shopping for something specific?" Soos asked with his best customer service voice. "Post cards? Snow globes? Weird taxidermy thingamajigs? Pants?"

"Where are the Pines?" the tourist asked, casting a sharp look at the "employees only" door, then the vending machine.

"Oh, Mr. Pines! The original Mr. Mystery! Heh—he actually retired a few months ago. The Mystery Shack's under new management!" Soos planted his fists on his hips and puffed up his chest. "It's me, I'm the new management."

"But where are they?" the tourist pressed.

"Uhh, he and his bro are somewhere in South America, I think? Some place called... Redacted. But hey, if you really wanna meet him in person, in his last letter he said they might visit for like spring break if the kids can make it up. First week in April!"

"First week in April," the tourist muttered, glancing away from Soos, thoughtfully fiddling with the time tape wrapped around her waist.

"Oh, dude! I've tried to use a tape measure as a belt too! Haha! It worked great, until I bumped the button and it retracted. Yeesh. Hey, do you want a fur belt? We sell fur belts now." Soos turned away, rummaging through the new display next to the t-shirts. "They're all ethically sourced from recycled materials! I bought a bunch of old rugs from the Northwest Mansion to slice up."

Soos grabbed up a fuzzy pink belt. "Check it, I think this is unicorn hide or something. Bet it'd go so good with that Pony Heist toga..."

The tourist had vanished in thin air.

Soos looked around. "Huh." He stuck the belt on a shelf beneath the cash register, in case she decided she wanted it later.

Once all the other visitors had left for the day, and Soos was left alone to clean up, he glanced around the shop nervously. "Is anyone there?" He lifted his broom like a samurai sword. "Hello? Big Fashion?"

Nothing answered. He shrugged and kept sweeping.

###

April 1, 2013

A vengeful demon who possessed nothing but two safety pins, a time tape belt, and a purple Pony Heist bedsheet tunic stood in the center of the Mystery Shack gift shop.

Which was weird, because Soos hadn't heard the door and she totally hadn't been there a moment ago.

"Oh hey! Toga Lady!" Soos turned to Wendy, who was picking up a few bucks as a temp worker handing the spring break tourists. "It's Toga Lady. She came in like a month ago. The toga's cool, right? I think it's cool."

Wendy glanced up, choked back a laugh, and scrambled to grab her phone for a picture.

"So, where are the Pines?" Toga Lady asked, with an edge of impatience.

"Oh, dude, did you come all they way back here to meet them? I'm sorry, the Mr. Pineses didn't make it. They couldn't get a flight out of Atlanta." Soos stopped, frowned, and pulled a water-stained letter from his pocket to double check. "Sorry, Atlantis. Something about a siege of sirens?"

"They would pick now to invade," Toga Lady muttered. "I suppose the children aren't here."

How did she know about the children? Maybe she'd visited last summer and remembered them? Like, early summer, before Pony Heist came out. Soos would have remembered the toga. "Naw, heh. They went to Roswell."

"Oh, cool," Wendy said distractedly, busy texting Toga Lady to everyone she knew. "Checking out the competition."

"Yeah, Dipper's sending me like a billion pictures of the alien museum."

"Well," Toga Lady snapped, "when are they showing up?"

Soos was beginning to get the impression that Toga Lady was less an admiring fan, and more one of those customers. All the same, he said, "June first, for sure. That's when the kids get here for summer break so the Mr. Pineses are coming too. Definitely. Promise."

She rolled her eyes—one of them twitched, like she'd gotten something in it and was struggling to keep it open—but said, "All right, fine! June. What's the difference?" She trudged to the door and leaned next to it by the snow globe shelves, fiddling with her belt, as if she was settling in to wait right there for the next two months.

Soos frowned—she might drive off tourists, blocking the door like that—but said, "Oh! While you're here, I thought you might be interested in this belt." He reached past Wendy to grab it from beneath the cash register. "I didn't get a chance to show you last time before—"

He looked toward the door. She was gone. "Huh. Did you see Toga Lady leave?"

Wendy shrugged. "Wasn't looking."

"Huh." Soos replaced the belt. At least he knew when he'd see her next.

###

June 1, 2013

"What's with the belt?" Stan asked.

"Oh! It's for a regular." Soos pointed with both hands down at the fuzzy pink belt peeking beneath his suit jacket. "I think she's comin' today. She wanted to meet the original Mr. Mystery."

"Hey, an admirer!" Stan mysteriously grew two inches as his posture spontaneously improved. "Is she cute?"

"Uh... if you like bedsheet togas?"

"Ooh, a party girl."

Over by the shop's glass display case, Ford said, "These are new," and lifted a jar with an alien fetus suspended in green goo.

"Oh, yeah!" Soos said. "Dipper sent me like, a billion keychains of these little alien guys from Roswell. So I started filling Abuelita's empty spice jars with aliens and lime jello. Cool, huh? It looks like we stole them from a secret government lab or something."

Stan laughed, slinging an arm around Soos. "Listen to this! Brilliant! I knew I put the right guy in charge."

Soos grinned goofily. "Aw, gee, Mr. Pines..." A flash of purple caught the corner of his eye. Toga Lady was leaning next to the door by the snow globe shelves, fiddling with her belt.

Here was a chance to show off his great business instincts with Stan watching. Time to make a sale. "Oh, hey, Toga Lady! I didn't hear you come in! Still rockin' Pony Heist, huh? Hey, I've been trying to show you this belt I think you'll like..."

But she wasn't listening to him. Her gaze was fixed on the Pines twins' backs. As Soos watched, her expression darkened, and her grin widened.

The vengeful demon reached past the snow globes, snatched up a heavy "mysterious green crystal cluster ($250)" made of glued-together broken glass, and heaved it up over his head. "Hey, Sixer!" Face contorted in a snarl of a smile, he turned the cluster over, sharp broken shards pointing downward. "Welcome home!"

Bill Cipher swung the glass weight down toward Ford's head.

(If you wanna keep reading, all chapters are right here!)

#bill cipher #human bill cipher #soos ramirez #(I'm not gonna tag every character that shows up but Soos gets the honor of being the viewpoint character here. please enjoy him.) #gravity falls #gravity falls fanart #gravity falls fic #fanfic #fanart #my art #my writing #bill goldilocks cipher #opatoes #ask

[heartsoji]

UM HI IM NOT RLLY SURE IF U TAKE REQUESRS SO IF U DONT U CAN IGNORE THIS.,,

hear me out, KENMA and RINTARO nd NISHINOYA x reader that turns any comment they make dirty 😭 (and a lot of deez nuts jokes bc idc that ppl don’t say them anymore they’re funny 😞)

HQ BOYS W/ AN S/O WHO MAKES A LOT OF DIRTY JOKES

genre: fluff but just a lil suggestive

a/n: STOP BCS THIS IS LITERALLY ME WHEN I HAVE ENERGY

warnings: mentions of nudity, dirty jokes but its pretty mild, two swears, idk wtf i was doing on suna's and noya's lol (ok for noya ive never written for him before but wtf happened with suna)

K. KENMA

"chicken fries, ken. chicken fries." you pestered.

"ok, ok. and can i add one order of chicken fries, please?"

"of course!" said the cashier cheerily through the drive-thru mic. "so just to confirm, a bourbon bacon cheeseburger triple, cheese fries, chicken fries, a large sprite, a medium coke, a vanilla frosty, and a chocolate frosty?"

"yep." kenma confirmed.

"ok, please drive up to the window."

once you two got your food, kenma parked in the parking lot and took a spoonful of his chocolate frosty and smiled contentedly. you laughed in response, to which he pouted/glared to and turned away from you.

"i like wendy's." kenma scowled.

"me too. i love it in my mouth, but also.."you paused. "when deez NUTS are in yours!"

you earned a slap to the head.

"OWW KENMAAA YOU VIOLENT PUDDING-HEAD MF"

he simply smiled and went back to eating.

"..hey, pudding-head."

"what?"

"DONT EAT WENDYS!! HOW ABOUT PUDDING DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH INSTEAD"

(pause)

"OWWW"

S. RINTARO

"our class got a new student today." suna mentioned casually as he scrolled through tiktok.

"yeah, i heard about that! he's from america, right? what's his name?" you asked.

"uhh.. sato. sato phillip." suna answered, struggling to pronounce the first name. "his dad's japanese and his mom's greek."

"phillip, huh?" you wondered aloud. "hey rin, you wanna skip making dinner tonight?"

"huh?" suna asked, confused. "where'd that come from?"

"YOU COULD PHILLIP ON DEEZ NUTS INSTEAD"

"well, that's kinky. i suppose i wouldnt mind giving it a try." suna replied, deadpan. "have you already ordered the attachable rubber balls?"

this guy thinks hes so cool for that.

"fuck you, rin."

"please do."

this brat.

N. YUU

"noya, what should i be for halloween this year?" you asked your boyfriend.

"hmm.." he thought about it long and hard. "a maid!" that earned him a slap to the 2-inch hair.

he laughed. "well, i suppose a fairy could be cute too."

"a fairy? then, you should be the goblin!" you beamed.

"HEY!" nova cried, offended. "why am i the goblin?"

"GOBLIN BOFA DEEZ NUTS"

noya paused for a second before bursting out cackling.

"THAT MADE THE FACT THAT I GOT A D ON MY TEST TODAY SO MUCH BETTER"

you gasped. "but we studied together! he gave you a d?!"

"yeah. i'm giving you a d too."

"boy what?"

"GIVING YOU DEEZ NUTS"

it was your turn to burst out cackling childishly.

"ok but for real, noya. lets be serious. deez nuts jokes kinda suck." you said, getting dead serious.

"HUH?! YOU SUCK!"

"SUCK ON DEEZ NUTS"

noya then POUNCED on you and laughed into your neck, sending ticklish sensations down your spine.

"I FUCKING LOVE YOU"

"I LOVE YOU TOO"

you both doubled down laughing, and you didn't even know what you were laughing at at this point.

#see you suun ⭐︎ #this is actual trash #im so sorry for failing you anon #the only reason im posting this is bcs it was a request and id feel bad not posting it #but otherwise this would've stayed in the drafts #kenma x reader #kenma fluff #kenma drabble #kenma imagine #suna x reader #suna fluff #suna drabble #suna imagines #nishinoya x reader #nishinoya fluff #nishinoya drabble #nishinoya imagine

[strangesickness]

bodyguard!eddie...

but you might be wondering! why would eddie choose a job as potentially dangerous as a bodyguard?

consider: i will do anything to make silly AUs. mostly kidding. consider for real this time: what he does in the novel and the miniseries, he drives cars in new york. car accidents kill something like 1.3 million people a year, 1000 or so of those people are new yorkers. you can't tell me bro doesn't know this.

but why being a bodyguard specifically? idk man! he finally got out of his mom's house and was angry enough that he really wanted to stick it to her and when he finished college he decided, "yknow what? fuck this. i get a 'safe' office job and i'll die by 55 from the stress. i might as well do something more interesting." or maybe he was frequenting the gym in college and someone suggested he do it as a weekend job. idk man. point is. bodyguard eddie <3 he probably starts with really basic shit that puts him at subzero risk, he does security for a couple small conventions, he mans the door at a small club on weeknights, etc.

but later he's richie's bodyguard. obviously. because i'm predictable. probably after quite a few years as a bodyguard. maybe when they're in their mid thirties. he thinks the job is kind of stupid. like who even cares about some asshole comedian who's jokes your nephew in eighth grade could, and probably has, come up with. richie doesn't really need a bodyguard, he's not that big a deal, and he's like twice eddie's size so whats even the point, and he thinks this seems kind of egotistic to be honest.

and because i think it's cute when adult reddie meet for the first time and eddie can't stand richie: eddie can't stand richie. he's always late, he doesn't seem to take his job seriously, he isn't very funny, he keeps flirting with eddie... okay maybe he's growing less annoyed by that last one by the day. but like. the list goes on.

eddie is Very Serious and Professional, and richie's like "pls pls pls can we go to five guys after this pls?" and eddie's like. "no. but i guess if we have to go somewhere we can go to panera bread. i guess." (he is not subtle at all about wanting to hang out with richie. he tries to pretend he's just doing his job but like. he caught himself laughing at richie's joke one time and he knew he had lost.)

after a while eddie is thinking that they're actually becoming friends and richie is getting lunch with him because they're friends, but then his paycheck comes in and it's way more than he expected because richie's paying for his time during their stupid outings to wendy's, and eddie's like. ????

richie generally speaking does not have any issues that require a bodyguard, he got a bodyguard because of an incident with an overzealous fan, but that was really a one in a thousand experience. eddie's job mostly consists of trying to look intimidating and getting people out of the way when richie's trying to leave events.

but like. then there is an altercation of some sort, and eddie has to physically remove someone from backstage or something. and richie is never the same. like yeah eddie is hot and cute and fun to be around, but he's like. dealing. and then he sees eddie manhandling someone much taller and heavier than him, and realizes eddie could probably carry him, and it's so over. he is just in a constant state of thinking about eddie literally sweeping him off his feet (and carrying him to bed👀).

also because i live for the drama i think eddie should get to dramatically save richie from an attacker. i don't know who is attacking him but someone is and eddie is swooping in and saving the day and maybe tearful confessions follow idk.

anyways bodyguard!eddie i love you <3

#i literally just open this website every day and make shit up #it stephen king #it 2019 #it 2017 #eddie kaspbrak #richie tozier #reddie #red's ramblings #posts afflicted with a strange sickness

[gralunaisland]

The jealous j*v*a gag was never funny but girl really got jealous over a CAT and Gray dancing for fun with his child teammate. Do people really find this endearing? funny? She makes every interaction Gray has into something gross. Don't get me wrong it isn't funny when she does it with Lucy either (this is an extremely toxic relationship and I don't like to see it portrayed as cute or funny), but her acting like he's into Frosch or Wendy disgusts me (idk if it makes sense haha)

juvia Believes in the Worst of Gray, and she Couldn't Care Less

Oh, you make perfect sense to me, Anon, and you make such a good, damning point against juvia.

I love how you phrase it because it's just so accurate:

"she makes every interaction Gray has into something gross".

The fact that in juvia's mind, Gray could be a p*dophile or someone who practices b*stiality, is just beyond disturbing, for multiple reasons.

A, if she really thinks Gray is capable of those things, and still "loves" him, then what does that make her? Someone who supports those things too. Jail. Jail right now.

B, despite thinking those things about Gray, there's no acknowledgement from juvia that that's so very wrong, there's just, as you say, jealousy. Instead of putrid disgust, juvia feels jealous over a child and a cat. That's revolting, immoral, and just downright pathetic.

C, it just shows how juvia does not know Gray at all, what his values are, whom he loves, what kind of a person he is. And nor does she care. And yet this is the woman we're supposed to want to be with him. Right. That checks out.

D, what's more, Gray can do no wrong in her eyes (clearly), so if Gray likes Wendy or Frosch, guess what, it's not Gray who's the problem here- it's the child and the animal. They're her love rivals, they're whom she must conquer in a battle of love. The two who would be victims to Gray if this deluded insanity juvia believed about him was true are the very ones juvia points her gnarled finger at and declares war on. (Hypothetical) Victim-blaming/abuse at its finest.

You're right, Anon, that this jealous gag isn't funny even when inflicted on women of Gray's age and species. It's just uncomfortable, cringe, toxic, malicious, and sad. But it's infinitely more despicable when juvia's delusions and fantasies paint such a horrid picture of Gray and those around him, where his morals are misrepresented, his reputation tarnished, where such evil, perverse things are presented as if we're supposed to laugh at it.

This point doesn't get talked about enough (by myself included), but it truly is one of the most damning pieces of evidence of why juvia is a loathsome, detestable human being, and why she should never be with Gray.

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me, Anon! This is truly a very important point to be made, and I am very grateful to you that this could be addressed very carefully on my blog.

#sorry im so heated in this post #just the fact that we're supposed to act like THOSE delusions on top of all juvia's other ones are funny #it makes me feel ill #those things are not to be joked about or praised like it is by mashima #anti gruvia #anti juvia #anti juvia lockser #askgraluna #anti juvia loxar #fairy tail #ask #defend gray fullbuster #gray fullbuster #anti gray x juvia

[underworld-park-offical]

BEBE: ♪ And I'm bad like the barbie ♪

RED: ♪ Barbie ♪

BEBE: ♪ I'm a doll but I still wanna party ♪

RED: ♪ Party ♪

BEBE: ♪ Pink Vette but I'm ready to bend ♪

RED: ♪ Bend ♪

WENDY: Bitch

BEBE: ♪ I'm a ten so I'm pullin a Ken ♪

RED: ♪ Like Jazzie, Stacie, Nicki ♪

RED: ♪ Grrrah ♪

BEBE: ♪ All of the Barbies is pretty ♪

RED: ♪ Damn  ♪

WENDY: Bitch

RED: ♪ It girls ♪

BEBE: ♪ It girls ♪

RED: ♪ And we ain't playin tag ♪

BEBE: ♪ Grrah ♪

WENDY: WILL YOU 711, SLUSHIE SLURPING, ALWAYS BURPING, SELFIE STICK, HUGE PRICK, STUPID WHORES, SHUT UP FOR ONE SECOND??!?!?!

RED: Booooo

BEBE: Party Pooper!

BEBE: Let us sing our BARBIE WORLD in PEACE

RED: Yeah, for real!

RED: Boooooooo!

RED: Not the straight A student talking 💀

WENDY: SHUT. UP.

WENDY: You can at LEAST turn it down enough to where I won't go DEAF

WENDY: Red. What. the fuck.

RED: Take a before death selfie with me

WENDY: Wh

WENDY: WHY

RED: Idk ur the closest lmao ♪

WENDY: Ughhh

WENDY: Why did I ever join your hype house?

RED: Lmaooo

RED: Big L

RED: L

RED: Big L

RED: Raito L Loser lmao

WENDY: I hope you get flung out of the wind shield and die

RED: 💀💀💀

WENDY: STOP SAYING SKULL EMOJI OH MY GOD, YOU'RE JUST LIKE CRAIG

RED: Sorry it's in our genes 😝😝😝

WENDY: NO IT FUCKING ISN'T 

WENDY: CRINGE ISN'T FUCKING GENETIC

BEBE: Can you hoes SHUT UP

BEBE: I'm LITERALLY trying to listen to Barbie World but I can’t because y'all are SCREAMING

BEBE: Literally boutta hop over my seat and FIGHT Y'ALL

RED: Is the song on loop

BEBE: Yeah should be

RED: Just like

RED: Reset it or something 💀

BEBE: UGHHHHH

WENDY: I'M GOING TO SLAP YOU, BEBE

BEBE: DO IT

NICHOLE: Guys can we go ONE second without fighting each other??

NICHOLE: This is serious!

BEBE: Not as serious as this ASS WHOOPING Wendy's about to get

WENDY: OH NO YOU DINT-IT!

WENDY: Red, Hold my earrings

RED: OOOOH SHIT!! WORLDSTAR!!!

RED: Hey guys, it's Red, and welcome back to my channel~ NICHOLE: GUYS NO-

BEBE: COME HERE YOU BITCH

WENDY: FIGHT ME RIGHT NOW

NICHOLE: WATCH THE ROAD!!!

NICHOLE: RANDOM PEDESTRIAN!!!

RED: Extra points if they’re innocent! 😲

RED: Don't watch the road. this is really good content

NICHOLE: RED!!!

RED: WHAT?????

WENDY: Hold on

WENDY: What

WENDY: Is that

WENDY: Is that a twink in the road?

BEBE: What??

BEBE: Holy shit

RED: Ewww, wild queer

RED: Smh my head

NICHOLE: Guys, it's just Gary

NICHOLE: We should give him a ride

BEBE: Girl are you crazy?

BEBE: I don’t want the scent of computer  in my car!

BEBE: That is SO not SLAY

NICHOLE: It's so cold out here! His hard drive’s gonna freeze!

BEBE: Good! Maybe he can finally stop going “I want chicken, I want liver, Meow Mix, Meow Mix, Please Deliver” over and over!

BEBE: LITERALLY why do you think we kicked him out of the Hype House?

NICHOLE: Just pull over…

BEBE: UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

BEBE: FIIIIIIIIIIIIINEEEEEEEE

BEBE: WHATEVERRRRRRR

 WENDY: Heyyyyy

WENDY: Uhhhh

WENDY: Garyyyyy…

GARY: Wе mаy nоt bе аblе tо lоwеr thе cost of gas, but wе саn do something аbоut hоw mаnу miles yоu will drive per gallon! Stop by your lосаl O'Reilly Auto Parts store tоdаy and let us help уоu inсrеаsе thе pеrfоrmаnсе оf yоur car or truck. Simplе things likе rеplасing yоur аir filtеr, chаnging wоrn оut spаrk plugs, and using fuеl injесtоr сlеаnеr саn аdd up tо bеttеr fuеl есоnоmy аnd Big Sаvings!

     There's an O'Reilly Auto Parts stоrе сlоsе tо yоu thаt hаs thе nаmе brands, low prices and pеоplе whо саn hеlp. Rеstоrе lоst fuеl есоnоmy AND eliminate rough idle with Luсаs fuеl injесtоr сlеаnеr. Right nоw аt O'Rеilly Autо Pаrts, Buy TWO аnd GET ONE FREE!

GARY: I'm Gary! The Mormon who advertises! 

RED: Ew, he’s advertising

RED: Let's bail

BEBE: Yeah, I agree

NICHOLE: No, we’re not leaving him

GARY: Writing Isn't easy. That's why Grammarly can help. This sentence is grammatically correct, but it's wordy, and hard to read. It undermines the writer's message and the word choice is bland. Grammarly's cutting edge technology helps you craft compelling, understandable writing that makes an impact on your reader. Much better. Are you ready to give it a try? Installation is simple and free. Visit Grammarly.com today!

GARY: I’m Gary, The Mormon who advertises!

RED: Shit, I think he’s broken

WENDY: Gary

WENDY: Why don’t you

WENDY: Get out of the cold…

WENDY: And into the trunk of Bebe's car?

GARY: Want a break from the ads? If you tap now to watch a short video, you’ll receive 30 minutes of free music.

GARY: I’m Gary the Mormon who Advertises!

BEBE: Biiiitch I think he's like, malfunctioning…

RED: Frfr

RED: It's creeping me out, tbh

NICHOLE: Why would you suggest he go in the trunk?

WENDY: So he doesn’t bother us with his weird ad shit!

GARY: In the U.S. RMHC Chapters, support millions of children and their families each year, with the help of caring customers like you. McDonald's Helps RMHC provide families more comfort, care, and kindness by donating one penny every time a happy meal is sold.

GARY: I’m Gary, The Mormon who advertises!

WENDY: We just…

WENDY: Put him in the trunk

WENDY: Tape his mouth shut

WENDY: And Boom, problem solved!

RED: I mean…

RED: I’m not against that

BEBE: Yeah

BEBE: Do any of you have, like, duct tape?

GARY: Hi, Phil Swift here with Flex Tape! The super-strong waterproof tape! That can instantly patch, bond, seal, and repair!  Flex tape is no ordinary tape; its triple thick adhesive virtually welds itself to the surface, instantly stopping the toughest leaks. Leaky pipes can cause major damage, but Flex Tape grips on tight and bonds instantly! Plus, Flex Tape’s powerful adhesive is so strong, it even works underwater! 

    Now you can repair leaks in pools and spas in water without draining them! Flex Tape is perfect for marine, campers and RVs! Flex Tape is super strong, and once it's on, it holds on tight! And for emergency auto repair, Flex Tape keeps its grip, even in the toughest conditions! Big storms can cause big damage, but Flex Tape comes super wide, so you can easily patch large holes. 

    To show the power of Flex Tape, I sawed this boat in half! And repaired it with only Flex Tape! Not only does Flex Tape’s powerful adhesive hold the boat together, but it creates a super strong water tight seal, so the inside is completely dry! Yee-doggy! Just cut, peel, stick and seal! Imagine everything you can do with the power of Flex Tape!

GARY: I'm Gary! The Mormon who advertises!

BEBE: Shut the fuck up, this is why we kicked you out of the Hype House!

RED: I think I have some tape here…

NICHOLE: Guys, no…

NICHOLE: We aren't putting him in the trunk, and we definitely aren't taping his mouth shut!

RED: This bitch crazy, frfr

BEBE: Yeah Nichole, do you want  to hear him the whole car ride?

BEBE: The only thing worse than this is that there's no wifi

GARY: Bring your phone & number and get $600 off our new Biz Unlimited 5G Smartphone Plans. Nationwide 5G. Types: 5G Devices, Smartphones, Mobile Hotspots, Tablets, Basic Phones. Available with Biz Unlimited Plus 5G or Unlimited Pro 5G. Terms apply; Limited time offer!

GARY: I’m Gary! The Mormon who advertises!

RED: Yeah dead ass, I can't play any roblox out here 💀

GARY: Do you not have any robux? Don't worry! With roblox money tree you can get infinity robux!! All you need to do is type in your roblox username and password and play games! Then you'll get infinite robux! So don't wait! Get roblox money tree now and win infinite robux!

GARY: I’m Gary! The Mormon who advertises!

NICHOLE: Just…

NICHOLE: Just get in the car

GARY: F**k you, Baltimore! If you're dumb enough to buy a new car this weekend, you're a big enough schmuck to come to Big Bill Hell's cars! Bad deals! Cars that break down! Thieves! If you think you're gonna find a bargain at Big Bill, you can kiss my ***! It's our belief that you're such a stupid motherf**ker, you'll fall for this bullsh*t! Guaranteed! If you find a better deal, shove it up your ugly ***! You heard us right, shove it up your ugly ***! Bring your trade, bring your title, bring your wife! We'll f**k her! 

That's right, we'll f**k your wife! Because at Big Bill Hell's, you're f**k*d six ways from Sunday! Take a hike to Big Bill Hell's, home of challenge p***ng! That's right, challenge p***ng! How does it work? If you can piss six feet in the air straight up and not get wet, you get no down payment! Don't wait, don't delay, don't f**k with us, or we'll rip your nuts off! Only at Big Bill Hell's, the only dealer that tells you to f**k off! Hurry up, ***hole! This event ends the minute after you write us a check, and it better not bounce, or you're a dead motherf**ker! Go to hell! Big Bill Hell's Cars: Baltimore's filthiest and exclusive home of the meanest sons of bitches in the state of Maryland! Guaranteed!

GARY: I'm Gary! The Mormon who advertises!

NICHOLE: Uhm…

NICHOLE: You’re…

NICHOLE: You’re welcome???

GARY: Jones BBQ and Foot Massage, Jones BBQ and Foot Massage. You better come on down here and get some of this shit. You like to eat, America likes to eat! So why not open up somewhere America can sit down, enjoy a meal, and get their feet rubbed. We'll fry anything you want for $5.99 as long as it's friable and edible, we'll make it delicable. We will fry parts of the chicken you didn't even know were friable. The beak, the feathers, we'll fry candy bars!                                                                                                                                                                            ll      >>>>All that European stuff that you don't really normally eat, we'll bring it down and we'll fry it for you. Ask McDonald's to fry something other than what they normally fry. Guess what you're gonna get? Nothing! If it fit through the door, I'll put it in the fryer. Hell, this is a dinosaur! All our meats are gently tenderized to their optimum deliciousness. We got fine dinosaur meat. Took my money, made me pay child support! Come on down here and get you a slice! Once they get your social security number, it's over! Motivated, Motivated, Motivated, Motivated! So friends, let's just decide you don't want no barbecue, well that's fine too.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       >>>Why not let one of my foot specialists or myself perform my magic? Look at that, don't that look wonderful? If you really pay me enough, we'll massage your feet in any of these sauces also. Success is the rule down here at Jones Good Ass BBQ and Foot Massage. So go ahead and give me a call or find us online, on the world wide internets at the new website. That's, J O N E S BIG ASS truck rental and storage,  dot com, backslash, Jones GOOD ASS bbq and foot massage, dot, html. Excuse me, did you call number 52? Did you hear me call number 52?!

GARY: I’m Gary! The Mormon who advertises!

BEBE: O…. kayyyyyy

BEBE: Slay I guess?

RED: Nahhh, not the FNAF character talking 💀

WENDY: Just…

WENDY: Nobody….

WENDY: SAY

WENDY: Anything…

WENDY: ...

NICHOLE: ...

EVERYONE IN THE CAR: ….

BEBE: Nichole, this is all your fault

NICHOLE: WH???

(Edits and GIF done by @cattpup5 (mod Jello) )

#craig tucker #craigfluencer #hellpark #south park #southpark #sp #south park edits #underworld park #underworld park tweek #underworld park pip #underworld park clyde #underworld park damien #underworld park stan #underworld park gregory #underworld park kyle #underworld park estella #underworld park thomas #underworld park gary #underworld park hype house #gary the mormon who advertises #team gregory cutie pie 3rd #gregory cute pie 3rd #gregory cutie pie vrs craig the real tucker

[restinslices]

Crows As Vampires

Idk why I chose that gif-. Anyway I have had no inspiration or motivation to do anything. The mental illness is hitting. I am on my knees begging y’all to let me have this😭. No one’s born a vampire cause I don’t think vampires should be able to reproduce and in this universe how you’re changed determines what kind of vampire you are. I’ll explain later.

Kaz Brekker 

Kaz has screwed over plenty of people in his life. That's how life is as a criminal and he was damn good at it. Almost an expert. 

Almost being the keyword 

Kaz screwed over the wrong person. Unbeknownst to him, this person was actually a witch. The witch cursed him to have these symptoms we would call “vampirism”

Immortality so he would watch everyone he loves die. A lust for blood since he was a leech that led others like a lamb to a slaughter. Burning in the sun so he could stay a rat in the shadows. Ect. Ect. 

This would've been terrible for anyone else, but this is Kaz Brekker we're talking about. 

Also this isn't how nature works. Things can't be only good or only bad so nature gave him a few perks. 

All it took was some practicing and getting used to then boom, he was living his best life. 

He doesn't need the cane anymore, but he keeps it to trick others. 

Genuinely thinks the witch that cursed him is the dumbest person ever because all the weaknesses he can get around. The sun? He doesn't go outside much and can have others do shit for him. Holy water? Does this man look like he goes to church? A wooden stake? What are the chances? Garlic? He prefers onion powder-

He's a traditional vampire so blood tastes good no matter what. I don't know if he'd go hunting himself though. He'd probably have another Crow bring him something, like bringing the homie Wendy's if you just got some. 

Best part of vampirism is probably the animal control. It's the perfect distraction and this man is nuts so he'd probably have a rat jump on somebody with a phobia. 

I'd say hypnosis but I feel like Kaz enjoys the thrill he gets from outsmarting everyone. Hypnosis would be so boring to him. It'd only be used if he absolutely needed to. 

I think the part of vampirism he'd struggle with the most would be the feeding though. Not out of guilt but too many dead bodies make people raise a brow and that would affect business. 

Kaz would prefer feeding on people who don't really have anyone. I know you're thinking “duh! That's so obvious! Who wouldn't?”. Jesper. More on him later though. 

Kaz wants to go after opponents but knows that'll stir too much shit up. 

I wanna say he refuses to feed on kids ‘cause it'd remind him of him and Jordie but this is the same man who threatened a little girl and said he'd kill all her dogs just to make sure she wouldn't snitch. And when Wylan was like “that's not ok” he was like “I could've killed her and made it look like an accident”, so idk. Man is deranged. 

Kaz has red eyes because… uhhh… I want him to. 

I think vampires should have another face when they feed and his gotta be the scariest. This is The Bastard of The Barrel we're talking about here. You gotta feel fear in your veins. 

Overall, he's enjoying vampirism. Big mistake giving this man powers. 

Inej Ghafa

Inej would get turned when she's at the Menagerie 

One of the regulars came in but he was off. He was way more jumpy and sensitive to things. Inej knocked something over and instead of annoyance, he seemed to be in pain. Like his ears hurt. 

She didn't say anything though. Tante Heleen would kill her. 

Suddenly the man attacked her and bit her. She screamed but he covered her mouth with his hand. Inej did the only thing she could think of and bit his hand hard, drawing blood. The man was in pain and after a short fight, he snapped her neck and killed her. 

Weirdly though, Inej woke up after some time. It made no sense to anyone. Not to the other girls, Tante Heleen, the doctor, anyone. Inej should've been dead. Instead all she did was crack her neck and describe the guy who did it. 

The next day Kaz Brekker came and she introduced herself. The day after that, she no longer worked for Tante Heleen. 

Turns out the vampire who attacked her was a newborn. He had some of the vampire strengths, like advanced speed and strength but he also still had human qualities. Like human skin, instead of the impenetrable skin older vampires have. Kaz was hunting him down because his uncontrolled killings were causing a ruckus, that's when he met Inej and noticed something was off about her. She smelt like death.  

Inej turned instead of dying because when she bit him, it drew blood and she ended up swallowing it. Drinking a vampire's blood then dying was another way to be turned. 

Because she was terrified when it all happened, as a vampire blood tastes better if it's from someone scared. The more scared they are, the better. If she drinks normal blood, it tastes fine but it doesn't make her as strong or taste as good as blood from someone frightened. 

Inej doesn't really like going out of her way to scare the shit outta someone. Don't get me wrong, Inej ain't no punk but she sees it as “I'm scaring people for my own benefit? No thanks”. 

During her newborn stage, Inej was not fucking with it at all. There were benefits but she hated the idea of murder. The only reason she started drinking is because she was starving and Kaz threw a random person in the room. When she snapped out of it, she was horrified and she was angry because Kaz knew what he was doing. 

So she attempted to run away but the problem was the hunger obviously didn't stop. One day she saw a man she knew frequented the Menagerie. A man who was extremely abusive and had cut and injured the girls plenty of times. Again, she got angry. So angry she stalked and killed him. 

A lightbulb went off. She didn't wanna scare innocent people but abusers? They weren't innocent. So that's who she targeted. Oh and obviously she returned to the Crow Club. 

Only problem with abusers is unfortunately they have money and people looking at them so she can't go after a lot of them which leaves her back to drinking regular human blood. Sometimes she drinks from animals or steals blood bags. 

Best part of vampirism is how nimble she is. Sure she was a great acrobat before but her speed and agility change is the best to her. She could do so much more without worrying about forever losing her legs in a stupid accident. 

She's called a spider for a reason. 

I don't even think she'd care for the other powers. Yeah they're there and she'll use them but she's not too concerned. 

Worst part I think is the feeding but not for the same reasons as Kaz. Inej has a guilty conscience and she's also religious. I think the fact that she has to take innocent lives (when she can't get to bad people) would make her feel cursed. Like the Saints were against her or didn't hear her prayers anymore. How could she claim her heart belonged to them when her heart didn't even beat anymore? She was sinning often. It's not like killing on a job, that's when your back's against the wall. She's literally killing for her own selfish needs. 

It'd take her a while to come to terms that she's killing for survival and she never asked to become a vampire in the first place. 

Once she comes to terms with that I honestly don't see her using her powers for straight nonsense. She uses them to get jobs done and feeds when she has to. She's probably the one bringing Kaz take out when he's too lazy. 

Idk why but I feel like she'd have purple eyes. I don't have a reason. Just roll with me. 

Overall, she'd have conflicting feelings. The first couple years would be rough but she'd learn to embrace it. 

Jesper Fahey

Jesper is my favorite Crow and my favorite in the entire show but my poor babe is not all the way there sometimes. He's not dumb by any means but ya know, sometimes he's in a silly goofy mood. 

Jesper was turned when he was in college. Keep in mind, my boy was only there for what? A WEEK?

He lost at a game of cards and instead of beating him they were like “there's this book that a dead witch supposedly wrote. There's a ritual and everything, you gotta do it or pay me”. 

Jesper was like “bet, I ain't no hoe” (probably not with those words) and did the stupid ritual which consisted of blood, rain water and some chanting and nothing happened, much to the disappointment of his college pals and him. The ritual was supposed to give him powers or something. Too bad. 

Something weird started happening. Jesper was a funny guy and liked socializing but he swore he started feeling more energy course through him when he made everyone laugh. And when he walked outside, the sun burned. It left a mark and everything. 

He started skipping classes to avoid the sun and the kids he knew were too busy to constantly visit him. Since he was alone for a couple days, he felt incredibly hungry. 

One late night he was walking to get food when a lady fell hard. Jesper, being nice, ran over to help. That's when he noticed the smell of blood and it smelt amazing. Long story short, he ended up attacking her. When he realized what happened, he took a closer look at that book. He realized they didn't inform him about the negative side effects. And sure, he somewhat got it. What were the chances of it working? But since they made him do that instead of paying up, they knew there could've been a possibility of everything going left. 

He had no idea what was happening and ended up leaving college. Not only was he out of money (that's why he was so glad he wouldn't have to pay) but he worried about who else he would attack. He ended up working for gangs and as we know, Kaz found him. 

They ended up finding out that Jesper was special. Jesper was always the main focus in a crowd so when he became a vampire, that ability turned him into an emotional vampire. He didn't have to hunt people down and feed the old fashioned way. He could feed on people by absorbing their emotions when they felt a strong emotion, such as happiness. It made him feel amazing but it made them feel drained and depending on how much he took, they could faint. 

Now he could always just bite people but absorbing emotions is bigger. 

Best part of vampirism is hypnosis. If he's well fed and feeling strong, he can just hypnotize his gambling opponent into letting him win. 

Worst part is probably the sunlight. Jesper likes nighttime, don't get me wrong, but the fact that he's limited to only moving around at night is nuts to him. Since he shouldn't be doing it, he wants to do it more.

Jesper has to be reeled in by Kaz when it comes to feeding cause Jesper honestly will go after anyone. The more challenging, the more fun. He has to constantly be reminded that the more challenging, the more chance of being caught.  

He also reminds him that he doesn't have to bite people to feed but Jesper sometimes just likes the rush. 

Probably makes a bunch of vampire puns and Kaz is tired of his shit. 

He'd be even more on edge when it comes to his dad. It'd be even more of a reason to never see him again. He would only think about it when he 100% had his hunger under control. 

Idk what eye color he'd have tbh

Overall likes being a vampire but the side effects are there. 

Nina Zenik

After Nina took Parem, things didn't look good. It was obvious to everyone that Nina was dying. 

Nina was in the know when it came to vampires. She honestly didn't care and didn't have any interest at first. But as she sat there slowly dying, she wondered what life would've been like if she asked to be bit. 

The Saints seem to be listening because Inej walked in and said she wanted to help her. Nina knew how she'd help. 

Inej was getting closer and Nina couldn't help but feel nervous. Suddenly though, she saw Matthias. Inej simply made her think she was Matthias, but Nina was so delirious that she actually thought it was him. She thought of their life together so far and what they could have in the future. Her thoughts started to slip towards something more lustful and that's when “Matthias” shoved “his” bloodied arm at her. She drank it then her neck was quickly broken. 

She awoke soon after, beginning her new life. 

Nina is a sexual vampire, meaning blood tastes the best when it's someone experiencing feelings of lust or orgasming. 

Matthias experiences lust for Nina and has said she can drink from him but she doesn't trust herself. She's worried she got him out of Hellgate only to kill him later on. 

Instead she flirts with unsuspecting men and women. No sex obviously and they don't taste as good as they could but just that little bit of lust adds something to their blood. 

Best part of vampirism would be immortality. She's living forever with her family and doesn't have to worry about getting sick or dying again. 

Immortality is also the worst part. Matthias has always said he has no interest in being a vampire and the thought of him dying makes her think she should've let herself die on the boat (until she changes him against his will but moving on-)

Probably targets men and women with low level jobs. Like the people who guard doors of some building, rich people go to. Or fishermen. People whose disappearance can just be chalked up to them being irresponsible. 

Being a vampire is kinda in the middle for her. Not great but not terrible. Sometimes she wants to go outside during the day and can't. Sometimes she wants to eat something like garlic bread and can't. Sometimes she wants to wear silver jewelry and can't. It can be a real pain. 

When Matthias is human she treats him like he's delicate, because compared to her, he is. They arm wrestle and he's down for the count. 

The stereotype is that vampires sleep in a coffin but with how big Matthias is? Yeah, no. They'll just sleep in a dark room. 

Nina doesn't exactly want kids, but with Matthias she wouldn't mind them. Now they can't have them at all though and that choice being taken away isn't fun. Honestly any choice now taken away rubs her the wrong way. 

I feel like her eyes would also be red like Kaz. 

Overall is half and half about vampirism. 

Matthias Helvar 

As we all know, Matthias ends up dying in Crooked Kingdom. He didn't want it to happen, but he accepted it. He knew this would be the end. 

Imagine his surprise when he woke up months later. 

Turns out Nina wanted to turn Matthias into a vampire but acted too late. She ended up finding a witch who was willing to do a ritual to return his spirit to his body. Side effects would be symptoms of vampirism. 

As you can imagine, Matthias was very unhappy. Nina didn't have the excuse of “oh I panicked”. No. She found a witch and instead of asking for her future to be told, she whipped out his corpse. 

As a vampire Matthias is a soul vampire. When he feeds it decreases the lifespan of his victim, sometimes even killing them. As he gets older he learns he doesn't even have to bite his victims, but he does have to be close to them. 

It'd probably take years before he forgave Nina. Matthias, like Inej, is religious and thinks Djel can't hear him anymore because of what's happened. 

For awhile he can't see a positive to this situation. When he comes around to it and starts accepting it though, I think he'd enjoy that he's strong enough to continuously help people. 

Negative is everything for a while. Especially the fact he can't be near any holy items. Also immortality. Human lives are supposed to end, now his can't end without it being extremely painful. 

Feeding wouldn't be easy for him either. Not biting them allows him to disconnect but he still knows what he's doing and that's hard for him.

He eventually would forgive Nina but would never forget what happened. 

His eyes would remain blue but it'd be a lighter and more glowy (?) blue

Doesn't wanna participate in any vampire stereotypes. No coffin, no dark colors, none of that. 

His feeding is the most discrete. Jesper's could be too but we know him. Matthias just kind of hangs around and feeds until he's full enough. 

Matthias also drinks the souls of animals. It doesn't feed him as quickly or make him as strong but he was already a big and strong guy. 

Overall is not having a good time. I think it would take years for him to accept his new life. After that, he's not exactly happy. He's just accepted it is what it is. 

Wylan Van Eck

Wylan had a terrible relationship with his father, we know that. What everyone didn't know was that the family was holding a huge secret; Jan Van Eck was a vampire. He was turned after Alys became pregnant and thought things were great. Now he could be an asshole forever 

Van Eck noticed how much better he felt so he thought if he bit Wylan, he'd be cursed of his dyslexia and could read. 

He was wrong. Dyslexia isn't a physical injury so nothing happened. This made him angry and ended up leading him to hire people to kill Wylan on the boat to Ketterdam. As we know, Wylan escaped. Van Eck was sure he'd die because of lack of food or be exposed and killed. Either was good to him. 

Wylan didn't die though. Wylan had only been a vampire for a month so his control over his thirst was terrible. He didn't wanna hurt people so he tried to stay away and hunt animals. 

Not hurting people was easier said than done though. Ketterdam is full of people and jobs require you being around people. As you can imagine, there were a few slip ups. 

Kaz recruited him not only to make bombs but also because Inej caught him feeding on someone. He just didn't notice she was there. 

Once Wylan has his thirst under control, he prefers blood bags instead of actually hunting and hurting people. 

He isn't sure what his favorite part of vampirism is since the things he loves doing (chemistry and music) don't require any vampire things. He likes telepathy once he knows how to block his own thoughts from people. It's efficient being able to “whisper” to other people and Wylan is a bit nosey. When you're gonna live forever, you're gonna wanna hear drama. 

I think his least favorite part wouldn't be a specific part of vampirism. He'd just hate how he used to be. Whenever he thinks about how little control he had, it'd scare him. It shows how much of a monster he can be and he doesn't want that. 

I wanna give everyone red eyes but I'll say his are orange or yellow. Why? Idk. 

The type of vampire that legit forgets he's a vampire. Inej is like “want me to bring you back something to eat?” and he's like “oh sure. I heard this new spot just opened-”. 

Probably was gonna walk outside for a casual walk and another Crow had to grab him by the collar and pull him inside. 

“What's wrong?” “Wylan. The sun.” “What about it?.... oh”

This isn't me saying he's dumb, he just genuinely forgets. His mind is on other stuff all the time. 

Vampires become his hyper fixation and he starts saying random ass myths about vampires at all hours 

“Did you know people used to believe that you could trick a vampire by throwing things like rice at it? Supposedly it'd be compelled to count them all” “It’s 2am Wylan. Enough is enough”

Overall I don't think he has a strong opinion on being a vampire. Having his little family makes enjoying this new life easier. 

idk why this in particular finally gave me inspiration, but FINALLY my mind isn’t completely blank.

#six of crows #shadow and bone #Six of crows au #six of crows imagine #six of crows headcanons #shadow and bone headcanons #vampire au #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #nina zenik #matthias helvar #wylan van eck #kaz brekker headcanon #Inej ghafa headcanon #Jesper Fahey headcanon #Nina zenik headcanon #Matthias helvar headcanon #Wylan Van Eck headcanon #crooked kingdom

[tiptapricot]

well now i does is have to know your transfem marc thoughts

TWO OF YOU! Ok. Ok I will talk ab it.

SO. Transfem Marc is this headcanon I’ve had for a while that I have a hard time explaining. He just has the vibes for it? Something about leaning into masculinity so hard it feels like it circles back to not being a dude, along with some other stuff.

(Talk of sys’s trauma, Marc’s bad coping, and some talk of sex and kink at end but not super explicit or in depth so you can skip if needed)

To start, Marc is a gruff man, he’s a guy who represses his emotions and his mental health issues and his trauma. He’s autistic and masks heavily, scared of emotional intimacy and the ways that being different can make you a target. He wears simple bland clothes that are predictable and reliable and don’t stand out. He went to the military, then into mercenary work, then into the service of a god. He has spent so much of his life fitting into boxes and predetermined expectations for how he should be, burying his feelings under violence and anger and emotional repression.

And there’s just a vibe there.

That’s sort of where it started for me, along with occasionally thinking of gender headcanons for the sys members (which is a whole other post). Marc had this flavor to him I couldn’t really name? He wasn’t a cis man, even though he appeared like one, and while I love transmasc MK sys headcanons and do have that as a side pocket headcanon, there was also just… woman vibes?? Truly idk.

Then I started fleshing out my expanded system roster and worked out my version of Inner Child from the Ultimate Marvel universe, and like… that is a little girl inside them. A kid to hold their innocence and place in childhood, the idealized self away from what they experienced. And she’s a girl.

I just kept reflecting on that, on what that piece of them meant. Women are socially and stereotypically seen as more innocent than men, as kinder, softer, so maybe it’s that, maybe just their brain finding a child they couldn’t be to maintain what they didn’t have. A separation for projection. A little girl who got through things instead of a little boy. But that… again there’s just this feeling to me of more.

Cause also like… Marc could never be that. He didn’t get the chance to be that. He was beaten into the shape of a little boy who was wrong. Was the one who had the name of their body, the weight of being the person everyone thought they were. And he had to keep doing that far into their adulthood. Be the Man, the Soldier, the Husband. There’s a safety in masculinity, one he can keep hold of, a script he’s always known and doesn’t have to think about with everything else going on. Being a man makes it easier, or at least feels like it does, but it’s a performance, a role he’s taken on for protection.

Boxes and boundaries and forcing yourself into a role that does not fully encapsulate you is an experience that connects with so many people, so many lives and states of self, but I just couldn’t shake trans vibes. And then it’s like. Where do you go from there?

Because if that is the case for Marc and we look at him through that lens, then… man.

It would be something that grows. Deep down there’s this niggling feeling he can’t place, and doesn’t want to because it means too much, opens too many avenues.

How can he recognize that facet of himself, that he may not be fully A Man, when thats just something else to make him different, something else to make him incorrect, something else to come to terms with when he doesn’t have the time.

How can he recognize that facet of himself when that’s one of the last lines of separation between him and Wendy.

He doesn’t want to feel closer to her, doesn’t want to feel more like her than he “already is.”

He sees his bad habits, his own stubbornness and anger and brashness, how he hurts those close to him, how he drinks when he’s angry and grieving and can’t put the bottle down. He’s too close. And so manhood is a way to distance himself, to not feel like a piece of her is lodged in him, is inescapable, that he is becoming the woman who hurt him.

But being a woman, sometimes, in some ways…Maybe that’s just him. And restricting that, holding it back, is the real thing that would echo Wendy’s hurt. Embracing the woman Marc has made himself ignore and finding his arms around himself and knowing he doesn’t have to be scared of her… it’s healing.

Part of it may be how he formed, that need for separation, that maybe a daughter would’ve been treated better than a son, or maybe it was always something in that young child, a space that didn’t fit that he held on to. He can’t know for sure, but it doesn’t really matter. I think he’d try to rationalize it some, think about it in regards to why he exists and how he was shaped, but in the end… he exists how he does either way, feels what he does either way, wants what he does either way. That won’t change.

(Mild sex/kink talk, skip to asterisks if needed)

Though not how I always imagine it playing out (I have a lot of various headcanon timelines in my head that are not always existing at once) I think one of the ways this discovery could get pushed forward could be via crossdressing play with Layla. They go into it in an attempt to test out how letting go of hypermasculine roles may help Marc let go of control, let go of tension and expectation, and it just… hits. It broils something up in Marc’s gut that is warm and confusing and overwhelming. Layla calls him a good girl, calls him pretty, loves him in that way, and for a moment he realizes how much he wants that, how it floods him with a relief of not having to hold onto a singular role anymore. And it just… forces those questions into the forefront, makes him think about them, grapple with them, try and explore them.

********

I don’t see Marc as a trans woman. I kind of place him in this bi-gender/gender fluid kind of space. Sometimes he’s a man, but sometimes he’s a woman too. Not a super feminine one. He still uses Marc and doesn’t get deep into heavy makeup or wigs or dresses, but maybe some lipstick or eyeliner, some looser hair now and then, a change in pronouns. He’s a woman because he is, and not when he’s not. Maybe has bracelets to signal how he feels since he’s not great at communicating wants and boundaries in words.

Maybe it goes further over time, but he also seems like the type of person, an older, complicated, queer person, who still sticks to what he knows, and understanding and engaging with himself authentically within that is enough.

Overall just… transfem Marc settles in right for me. A realization of identity that didn’t surface until so late because there was so much else he had to keep himself afloat through, and recognizing that there was more (just like we see with his ignoring of Jake) would’ve been too much to handle. But when it’s able to be real, when he’s able to touch that piece of himself and recognize it’s there, it’s a huge step in his growth and acceptance, in releasing the tension of hiding that he’s gotten so used to.

So yeah :-)

(Id for ask screenshot in ALT)

#this hc literally makes me explode like just. to say it in a goofy way he’s so woman coded to me!!! #moon knight #marc spector #moon knight 2022 #the fruit is talking again #the fruit is headcanoning again #mikes mk meta #the fruit is answering again

[bellysoupset]

It's @lisupsanddown, on anon as usual since Tumblr hates me.

Out of all the wonderfulness in the Vince/Wendy/Bella fit, I actually think my favorite bit was Leo being a hardass to Vince, and finally saying to him what he should have understood a long time ago. I've been so frustrated with Vince (in the best way, lol) for how he's been treating Wendy and his cluelessness, and Leo was just awesome.

Question - has Vince ever had a serious relationship before? Because his complete lack of understanding that he should have included his girlfriend in his thoughts and planning all along screams out someone who's never had to consider someone else when making a big decision. As I am someone for whom lack off communication is (and has been) a deal breaker for me in real life relationships, it was hard to read (again, in the best way).

Thank you, and looking forward to more, as always!

Hey Lis! God i hope tumblr fixes this soon, what the heck.

💕💕💕 I'm so happy you liked the Vin/Wen/Bell fic!!

And honestly it's funny you mention your favorite bit was Leo grilling Vince, since I've heard sooo many conflicting takes regarding this whole situation.

I've seen people say Wendy was exaggerating and blowing it out of proportion. I've seen people say they didn't get how Leo would side with Vince (thankfully cleared up by now), I've seen people say Luke is being childish about the whole situation...

And I kinda love to see so many takes? Idk, people are complicated and I like that my characters are complicated as well and people won't always agree with them all.

Wendy is not his first relationship. Vince had a girlfriend when he was sixteen that he dated for two years, a boyfriend when he was twenty and that he dated for one year, but Wendy I'd say is the first one where things got serious serious.

The guy he dated at twenty was pretty serious, but never "let's move in together" serious, which was the stage he was/is at with Wendy. I do definitely agree that Vin's lack of understanding over taking decisions together screams of a person who never had to take a romantic partner in account and honestly... yeah.

#myocs #lisupsanddown #lovely correspondence

[cadaverdolls]

Edit: I FORGOT TO CLARIFY. What I’m make is a drawing. It’s meant to mimic a drawing that would be used for a plushie company to make a plushie from, the ones that make those chibi ones for games. Usually referred to as cotton dolls online.

Idk how to stop polls earlier but the one for what I should do for my 30th doll are in favor of a LI. So I’m post this poll now since this will literally take forever till the polls end. If the tides to change on the OG pull then I’ll just save the results of this poll for another time.

Which love interest should I turn into a doll? (If you really really really want me to turn someone that isn’t a LI then tell me in the tags or comments.)

Is Ivory Wraith a LI? I can’t remember. Haven’t encountered them a lot since I’m literally always running around like a lunatic. Also for some reason they only bother me when I don’t steal the neckless.

A custom one usually cost 100 or so but to manufactured on a larger scale for consumers it would only cost you 20 or so. I’d need to find a company, send my concept design, have them send me a prototype (each one cost 100-300 so if changes need to be made then I could be looking at spending a lot of money on just prototypes), once decided I’d have to order a stock and that means you need to usually order a huge quantity (300 but some companies probably do a little less, still 300 is on the smaller side). Protyping, buying stock, shipping, website management (or store management if you’re using something like Etsy), and advertising. It’s a lot of time and effort to get plushies made as a single individual and it’s a risky investment if you don’t have enough customers. If I did do something further down the line then I’d have to be sure that it be worth the effort.

Just wanted to break that down so people understand what this poll is about. I have been plushie gun for a bit now and I completely forgot to clarify that this wouldn’t be a physical item. It may be in the future if I ever get an embroidery machine but that’s a what if idea.

#plushie gun #degrees of lewdity