#idk. just a thought. maybe i should keep this in the drafts but fuck it
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perhaps a take that should stay in the drafts but the way the oppenheimer movie is being like. tumblr-ified makes me just a little uncomfortable. and i haven’t seen the movie and don’t plan to so maybe christopher nolan does it well and respectfully and tactfully but even if he does , the way y’all are talking about it is. not that. it’s literally a biopic but are we. yk. forgetting what happened.
and i get that it’s more complex than ~one man is insatiably evil~ or whatever but like. y’all r rly writing fanfiction about that man? did the atomic bomb justification debates in usamerican middle school history classes rot your brain or something? are u really that hooked on a christopher nolan movie that you’re forgetting like. literal history of less than a century ago?
like some of y’all are joking but. idk. some of u appear to be dead serious about being horny for the atomic bomb man and that scares me a bit ngl. and like even some of the jokes about barbenheimer r a little. ok. i fucking guess you can say that and face no repurcussions. idk. maybe i’m being dramatic. but i just looked in the tag out of morbid curiosity and saw a teacher x student oppenheimer x reader fic and i’m getting concerned about the places this is going. idk. maybe i’m just being. sensitive.
#idk. just a thought. maybe i should keep this in the drafts but fuck it#ugh. whatever. i’m probably just being. whatever. idk.#not to be a spoil sport or whatever.#like i just. why was this movie even made in the first place. what r we getting out of a fictionalized narrative about him#but again. haven’t seen it. so idk. maybe we’re getting really good commentary about the horrors of war#whatever. idk. i don’t really want to argue about this i just wanted to get it off my chest
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Rage | Robber!Frank Castle x Male!R
Summary - The burley “punisher” known for his menacing presence and crimes happened to stumble by your home…
A/N - A simple thought that became something more then it should of, although this has been sat in my drafts for weeks now, I just decided to leave it open, maybe a PT 2 if yall are interested idk…
The night was young.
You sigh, scribbling down notes, anything that came to mind to help with the current case “Murdock and Nelson” was handling.
A series of break-in’s littered the papers of Hell’s kitchen, the bastard had managed to wriggle himself from the grips of the N.Y.P.D, stalking the shadows of the night for his next victim.
Flopping back into your chair, the cushions helped relieve the strain between your shoulder blades from standing a while, bending over the desk that currently wasn’t visible, messy crumbled up balls of paper and yellow documents detailing the certain aspects fitting the onslaught of crime covering the varnished service.
The cool breeze of the city left you shivering and alone reminding you that the law firm you happened to call home for past couple of months was your intake of madness and the decent into a spiralling well of secludedness, you hadn’t had the time to truly enjoy the character Hell’s Kitchen was and will remain.
Once clasping the window shut, you stand, rubbing at your eyes, the tiredness that stuck to them like honey grew thick yet withstand-able, it was if the city was listening, creeping and sauntering, figuring you out, a loud clunk echo’s through your apartment, ringing from wall to wall.
You had guessed it was the stormy weather outside but curiosity killed the cat…didn’t it?
“Fuck-“
Ushering out profanities was your way of coping, taking course of a few steps, gradually making your way to the wooden frame of the door consoling the running thoughts swirling around in your fuzzy brain, you still before turning the bitter-cold handle.
It wasn’t a shock, it almost felt real, more then anything you had witnessed over the past coming months, there he stood, a tall burley man, broad shoulders and toned physique, dressed in all black and a ski mask to cover his identity.
Silence fell over the room but his confidence stood proud, his muscular arms falling to his side underneath the dim light the outside street lamps provided.
“I don’t want any trouble sir-“
You tremble at the thought of becoming his next victim, although he hadn’t killed, the offer still loomed over you like his figure. It wasn’t immediate but you had guessed something within him flicked like a light switch, he placed the bag he managed to fill with stolen goods, your goods, on the floor with the same clunk from before, moving himself closer until he began to invade your space.
“What…do-“
With the incapacity to speak, you stumble back into the wall, his brown hazel’s staring deeply, trying to figure you out. He huffed before licking at his dry lips, closing in on you like an animal with it’s prey, trapping you from a potential exit.
At first he huffed and puffed like the big bad wolf, eyes twitching and lips still, as intimidating as he was, curiosity did infact kill the cat. You waited, keeping your eyes trained on his own, watching for anything.
“You’re a little to curious for your own good”
His voice was low and growly like the worn-down roads of New York City, a shiver ran down the edge of your spine, tingly yet comforting, almost riveting. Although you had no plan of escape nor defense, you melt into the wall keeping you up right, he eyed you up, almost checking to see if you fit the checkbox he had granted himself.
“Are you saying…I gotta be careful from now on?”
You question, hands glued by your sides whilst his block you against the structure of the room. This wasn’t how you expected it to go nor is it how you expected him to be, in ways he seemed softer, almost sweet like your favourite candy dissolving on the tip of your tongue.
He nods confidently, quicker then you would have liked. You can’t help the shakes the ran through your body like a tumble dryer and clothes, eager to figure out what it was that he so desired from you but also to terrified to even speak another word.
“There’s a bad guy out there, he could hurt you, y’know?”
Was it a threat? Or was he simply taking his time? His voice had managed to make you calmer, although being the aggressor, you couldn’t help but reach out, placing a hand on his hard chest, trying anything to communicate.
“Please- please I don’t want this, I-“
Worrisome pleas seemed to do nothing as he stood, still blocking you. The glint in his eyes had changed from dangerous to lustrous within seconds as if he wasn’t here to steal anything but your innocence.
“Don’t you think you could learn a lesson or two?”
A warm hand cups the base of your throat, tightening until your breathing was short-circuited, restricting each intake until you faced him, watching as he tugged a smile onto his plump lips.
Pressing forward, you allow your hand to drop from his chest, his overwhelming presence shifting until his warm breath began to fan against the shell of your ear.
“Never disturb a man whilst he’s at work…”
He presses more firmly with his hand this time making you gasp, choking on the air that seemed to be invading the small space in your lungs. He chuckles before pulling away, essentially playing with his meat, doing everything and anything in his power to make you dumb and nonchalant.
“I- please”
Your ache prolonged, blossoming as you grew harder, he was tall, practically looming over you, closing in and eventually overshadowing you from the light, his burly body blocking you in. A single hand of his cup at one your cheeks, his thumb trailing against your bottom lip in attempts to quieten you.
“God your sweet ain’t ya…”
His mouth was vulgar, his smile stretching as you accept the thumb into your mouth, tongue rolling against the thick digit. Frank could feel himself twitch, it was unusual for his nightly escapades to go like this, it was uncommon for someone to be so inviting, non the less he was entirely enticed by the whole ordeal.
You groan once he pushes deeper, jabbing the palette of your throat causing you gag, tears pricking the corners of your eyes. He couldn’t deny how pretty you were like this which pushed him to pull his now slick digit back with a pop.
Frank doesn’t fight the urge to dip his head low enough to connect your lips, locking you within a searing kiss, one that left you both hungry for more. His tongue, long and wet, rolled smoothly against your own, the material of his disguise rubbing against your upper lip and the tip of your nose, giving enough friction to calm the storm.
It’s chaste and sweet much like he was trying to seduce you which had worked a little to well considering how dumb and weak you had gotten from one touch, one look.
Pulling away with a quick press of his lips, he looks hungrily downward, lips slightly red and lick from the sloppy snog. Still leaning one muscular arm against the wall just to the right above your head, he leans further into you, pressing all of his weight against your front.
That’s when you had felt it, thick and plump underneath his black cargo’s, he settled against your own slowly growing bulge, the continuous roll of his hips relieving the ache as you sigh, practically falling into his chest.
“Just one touch and yer’ dumb for me, for it, come on, show me what i’m missin’ sweetheart”
His hands wrap around your waist once he pulls away, just enough to softly throw you onto the sheets of your bed, his talented hands make quick work of your night shorts and boxers, his eagerness prevailing once they fall into a pool on the carpet.
You hiss when the cold air hits your now oversensitive tip which dripped copious amounts of pre, Frank noticed with a deep chuckle, strong hands pushing up your legs with no resistance as he settles on his knees, hot breath fanning against the back of your thighs.
He takes note of your pale pink hole, salivating at the thought of finally planting his face between the two pert globes you had offered up.
“There he is- fuck look at that”
He wouldn’t ever admit just how hard you had got him, you we’re pretty, a little to pretty, maybe ditzy and a little stupid for letting someone as dangerous as him touch you in ways that had you clutching at the sheets.
“Sir- I can’t, need you-“
Is all you could mutter passed pressed lips, it had been so long, to long since the last time you had gotten intimate with someone, this one took the cake, it was all kinds of strange, only taking note of features shown, the way his eyes had changed to a dark shade of lust, how his lips softly pressed dirty chaste kisses to the skin of your under thighs…why was this happening, you were suppose to help catch the bastard, not fall into bed with him.
“Say that again- wanna hear yer’ beg”
Each kiss led lower until he settled just above your hole, pressing two rough, sloppy kisses to the puckered skin surrounding it, he wanted to hear just how eager you were to finally have him, to finally allow him to dissect you like a butterfly, clip the wings and make you his own.
“Please- I need you, anything-“
He tuts before chuckling one more, the huff of hot breath settling over the coolness of your hole, without any thought, you sink back into the sheets before reaching for the top of his head, with a surge of confidence, you smush his face between your cheeks as he spreads them, feeling him smirk against you was everything, but the long lap, from balls, taint to hole was much more.
He had witnessed the case file you had on him, guessed you were some sort of lawyer working for murdock, it just fuelled his fire, his urge to take control, make you forget, make you understand that he is the man you should fear, but the man you should come running to, it had his dick jump with joy, you were easy but he liked that.
He lapped and lathed at your hole dirtily like some pornstar, eager to uncover the very thing he craved. You could feel the once more slobber roll down from his tongue to your balls, dripping onto the carpet below, shivering in his hold, you begin to push back, wiggling against his face as he noses at your wet clutch.
The tips of two fingers were present, pushing into you alongside his tongue like butter, no resistance, just pure admiration and pleasure, allowing the stranger to ruin your hole, lavish licks and darts of his tongue had you quivering around the intrusion, his fingers smashing in and outwards, scissoring them apart to prepare you for the oncoming assault.
“So easy, just wanna be used? Yer’ that hungry for me? yer’ been stalking me for months and here I am…using yer’ like a damn whore…what would Murdock and Co. think of yer’ spread out and whining for the biggest criminal in Hell’s Kitchen?”
You whimpered at the thought, almost driving you over the edge. He was vulgar and dirty with his words and his tone, deep and low, almost making you dizzy along side the third digit slipping inside, burying themselves to the knuckle making your cock jump.
He smirks against your hole before giving it a few final laps. He pulls them away, standing to glare down at your fucked out features.
“Somethin’ tells me yer’ like the sound of that hmm?”
You watch attentively as his fingers work to unclasp his belt, whipping it off. He unfastens the button, watching as his cargo’s pool around his ankles before kicking them off along with his boxers.
His cock slaps up into his abdomen with a sharp thud. You glare at it, taking it in, judging it harshly. He was big, big enough to leave an impression, he was girthy and long, thick from base to tip, his head an angry shade of red, his balls resting heavily between his thighs, the light shedding of hair framing the beauty.
“Don’t think yer’ gettin’ outta this boy, yer’ gonna take it like the pretty little thing yer’ are”
Peeling off his long sleeved t-shirt, you glaze amongst the muscles that bulged, his physique was godly, heavenly, everything that had your body spreading automatically to give him the space to slot between your legs, kneeling on the edge of the bed.
“Fuck- you look-“
Your words were slight encouragement to Frank as he dipped, still the Ski-mask stayed, secreting his identy, you could still kiss him, sloppy and rough. Whining into the kiss notified Frank of your eagerness, so much so, without warning he pressed the spongy head of his cock against your rim, practically asking for permission.
Breaking the kiss had you back to reality, but it was to late, you mumbled a sharp “yes” allowing him to enter, pushing into your sloppy, slick hole with resistance. You both moan in unison as Frank pushes the air out of your lungs, pushing each inch inward until he sheathed himself fully, now resting against you.
“Atta boy, all the way in with no complanin’, yer’ such a pretty boy ain’t yer’, taking me in all the way like a professional-“
You flutter against him as his arms throw your legs up, pushing them against your stomach giving him enough space to settle just above you, his lips kissing at your jaw, nibbling on the skin as he pulls out, pushing back in slowly to allow you to adjust.
How were you going to explain the current set of events to the law firm and two of the closest men to you, Matthew Murdock and Foggy Nelson, the intimacy of your thoughts only lead you to believe that this would put you at risk…of wanting more.
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So we agree, the Spot is just as fuckable as Miguel. These two are both incredible, just both at INSANELY opposite ends of the spectrum. Like I want Miguel to breed me, where as I feel like I want the same with Spot just where I’m more the dom? Idk tho, Spot at the end of the movie def would go back to his s/o’s apartment while waiting for Miles, def would be hate fuckin you con or noncon style, but would also def be so apologetic after he had cum a couple times
Spot who hates Miles Morales so fucking much because he not only caused him to mutate in the collider incident but the accident killed his s/o/crush (you) and now it's like "oh, hey, this is funny but, would you believe me if I said we used to date? Ha ha anyways i was thinkin we could pick up where we left off :)" And maybe he's either telling the truth or he's full on delusional, thinking you two were in love and "sending all kinds of passionate signals" when in reality you were just like, being a respectful coworker and being polite to him and shit you'd be pretty uh in danger if his original you survived and became some sort of multiverse jumping being as well because then he's, you know, CHASING YOU, he thought you had been gone forever, he thought he had lost everything in his life important to him, literally everything, his own physical body becoming unrecognizable, unable to have love, respect, even just a normal life, truly becoming a broken man, but here you are, still left behind, maybe even just as he remembers you visually
I saw a post saying he has Sans energy and it's like. Yeah actually. Funny Little Man Energy. Except The Spot is kind of a poor little wet cat out in the rain who's a lil pathetic tbh and Sans is like a sarcastic troll in a non serious well intentioned way but, the Energy is similar kwim.
Jonathan just being like half apologetic half self indulgent freak the whole time
God. Fucking. Just picture this. The whole thing happens to him, you know, the movie stuff, he's out for revenge, constantly disrespected by Miles, other villains, he lost his entire way of living a normal life, literally, he doesn't even have the peace of having a normal body anymore, AND he lost his beloved "fiance" in the accident and he's just absolutely going insane and he finds you again, YOU you, HIS you, somehow survived, and he goes to you to speak to you AND YOURE JUST LIKE "WAIT WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU" he was just projecting the whole time and you're confused and it just shatters his fantasy but you know what he decides he should get whatever he wants now, take whatever he wants, his powers open all kinds of doors, and he'll make this universe the one where he has you
Also if Spot doesn't have genitals or maybe you're using like, the Wookie rule I think is rhe term for it, he could literally get you any kind of toy or anything from anywhere. He could do ANYTHING to you, watch anything happen to you, use Any kind of gadget on you that he wanted in place of whatever he may be missing. Since he only has so many physical capabilities, he might as well get his pleasure in the satisfaction and pride of bringing you to, like, orgasmic insanity
Miguel just. God I have a draft for him, right, based off of the concept of Reader slowly kind of being pushed to a mental breaking point by Miguel pushing them to do a specific job in the Spider Society only THEY can do, and he's pushing you and telling you its for the greater good because it does legitimately hold the multiverse together, it keeps people from breaking canon, it's a memory wiping thing, but it's emotionally and mentally taxing on you and the nature of the job makes you a social pariah and, it's a struggle of wanting to hate and refuse him for pressuring you into all this when you actually WANT to trust him as your friend and leader and even want to love him vs also he's lowkey taking advantage of the stress the job causes on you so he can be the only one there to support you when you're in crisis mode cause, yeah its for the greater good, and gosh he hates seeing you cry such big fat tears, but it IS so nice to get to be the one to hold you when you're so desperate for some kind of anchor and support that you hug him. God I bet hugs from him are something else....
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RANDOM BF TEXTS 2 -
[ jk jin tae ]
JUNGKOOK -
jk: bricked up
y/n: cool
jk: no :/
y/n: not cool
jk: yeah
y/n: forgive my ignorance 😓
jk: ur forgiven
y/n: thanks
jk: where are you
y/n: out
jk: cheating ?
y/n: yeah
jk: thought so
y/n: got too many hoes
jk: but they ain’t me ?
y/n: no you’re actually one of them
jk: that makes me feel batter
y/n: you are welcome
jk: cum
want that
y/n: ew
jk: sorry me and my hoe tendencies i can’t help it 😞
y/n: keep yourself in line booty call #432
jk: it won’t happen again mistress 😣
y/n: good
jk: what if i’m cheating on you
y/n: that would be unfortunate
jk: yeah
y/n: yeah
jk: ok
come back home now :)
y/n: can’t
saving orphans from a burning building
jk: you can leave them
they’ll be fine
y/n: no
i don’t think they will
jk: frick
y/n: pls don’t use language like that around me
jk: frog
y/n: thanks
jk: don’t contact me anymore
mommy mommy bye mommy mommy kiss kiss mommy kiss me kiss kiss mommy kiss kiss me kiss kiss mommy kiss kiss me kiss kiss mommy kiss kiss me kiss kiss mommy kiss kiss me kiss kiss mommy kiss kiss me kiss kiss mommy kiss kiss me kiss kiss mommy kiss kiss
y/n: what
jk: *bye
y/n: where you going stink 😣
jk: to beat my meat
y/n: oh
jk: sorry
y/n: not sorry
jk: you know me so well 🥺
SEOKJIN -
jin: my boxers lowkey eating me out rn 🤤
y/n: send pics
jin: i don’t send for free
y/n: fine
didn’t want to see your shit stains anyways
jin: shit stains ? me ? never
y/n: them white draws say something els 🥱
jin: yk lying is a sin right ?
y/n: yeah.
do YOU ?
jin: i hate you
y/n: that really makes me upset seokjin
jin: still getting eaten out btw
y/n: this this your way of telling me you want your ass ate ???
jin: NO
you sick fuck
y/n: i don’t judge
just say the word bae 🤤🤞🏽
jin: bye
y/n: come back 🥺
jin: i didn’t message you for you to be acting a fool
y/n: then why did you message me ?
idk what type of mood we talking in when you open with “my boxers lowkey eating me out rn 🤤”
jin: can i not just share things with the loml ??
you didn’t need to respond
i was just letting you know
y/n: why would i need to know that tho ?
like what does me knowing that piece of information do for me ??
jin: like i said i just wanted to let you know
y/n: maybe you need to be sent to a home fr
you’re loosing your mind bae
i’m worried
age is really catching up with you
jin: fuck you
y/n: 😣
TAEHYUNG -
tae: what if i grabbed ur tits with my feet lolz 😋 read at 8:13
tae:
read at 8:35
tae: ☹️
y/n: never in your life message me that shit again
tae: hi babe ☺️
y/n: i will block you next time
tae: they’re not even that bad :/
y/n: shut the fuck up
tae: i think we should shake things up yk?
y/n: stop thinking all together
tae: …
sorry
i take it back
how are you ?
was thinking about you today :)
y/n: i was fine until you messaged me that shit
tae: i’m sorry
y/n: no you’re not
tae: i’m a little bit sorry
y/n: get lost
tae: no
i cant help it 🤤
y/n: we are officially over
tae: fine
y/n: fine
tae: bye lol
read at 8:46
tae: ok i didn’t mean it come back
y/n: thought so
tae: you are so boring
y/n: i just don’t want your dinosaur stompers anywhere near me that’s all
tae: DINOSAUR STOMPERS ???
they are NOT that bad
y/n: babe…
tae: fr 😕?
y/n: fr.
tae: man
y/n: it’s okay you can wear socks !!
tae: the beauty standard is so fucked these days
y/n: i have fluffy ones for you
tae: maybe i need to prostest
y/n: cute little red ones !!
tae: push the boundaries
y/n: no
you really don’t need to
tae: i have to bae
this is my calling
all feet are pretty feet❤️
y/n: i’m so done
another one free from the drafts i cba to finish this one but love it so here u are
#bts crack#bts fanfic#bts fic#bts fluff#bts imagines#bts x reader#bts x y/n#bts x you#jungkook x reader#jungkook x y/n#taehyung x reader#taehyung x y/n#jin x reader#jin x you#v x reader#seokjin x you#seokjin x y/n#bts text#bts texts
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okay, thoughts on the latest happenings hmm, first off, I love Tony and Pocket's brother-sister dynamic, it's so funny and sweet. If it were me, I would've asked for a house and a retirement fund and a bunch more but then again, she is already working for Stark Industries, so I think she's already set lmao. And obviously, we already knew Tony didn't authorize the shit Joseph just pulled, but I'm still not buying the fact that she did it alone. I mean, she could've since she's well capable, but something is still very fishy about it.
which brings me to Steveioli (I really like the nickname now, it flows off the tongue so well), hmm, okay, I don't think he's that bad now, but still keeping one eye open because I still don't trust him. Which brings me to my first theory, I feel like this short interaction between him and Pocket is going to cause something. And Juniper will be the one pulling the strings because lol the manipulative sack of shit she is. Like, she's probably good with tech too, so what if she managed to get footage of the dance, or just Steve walking Pocket to her room and then show it to Bucky? (or maybe Steve would give it himself but i digress) And I fear that's going to trigger something ESPECIALLY knowing how Jocelyn is going to spin it. And yeah technically Bucky and Pocket aren't together albeit the blurred lines with this friendship, so she doesn't really owe him anything. But, I wished she could've told Bucky about the interaction with Steve first so he knows the truth of what happened before Jennifer manages to twist it. AGAIN THEORY. But I really do have a feeling Something is going to trigger Bucky to do something rash (not cheat, but I can't pinpoint as to what yet. Maybe some harsh words being spoken or him defending Jomar again). Either way, it's going to be related to Steve because he always seems to be a sensitive topic.
Also, to add, why was my danger alert flaring when Steve handed Pocket that lemonade? Is that me being paranoid? lol but then again, we don't really know what's going on with Pocket being sick so maybe I'm just reaching. But since I have an inkling that she was given something, I'd be wary of accepting drinks from anyone. ESPECIALLY the person who's still madly in love and probably has a secret mission to break a relationship for good. But hey, maybe that's just me.
And I'm so anxious as to what's going to happen on the mission. (help as i was typing this a theory came to mind) What if Bucky gets badly hurt because Jakari sabotages it just like she did with Rhodey? But instead of Bucky being mad at her, he's still going to defend her? Say something about it wasn't her fault blah blah blah and it's going to anger Pocket especially if badly is hurt. OR OR ON THE FLIP SIDE, what if Judith intentionally hurts herself and make it look like Bucky didn't defend her or somehow makes a spin that it was his fault? THEN he'd start taking care of her, not because of anything fishy or feeling wise, but because he feels GUILTY and feels like he HAS to which, goes back to what you said about the way he followed through with his actions. Idk idk I'm probably reaching and I could be so so wrong haha sorry i'm just a theory girly
But anyways, CONGRATS ON FINISHING THE FIC. that's a great achievement you should definitely celebrate! Though I do get this would bittersweet though. But hey, don't be sad that it's over, be glad it happened. Keep doing what you're doing! you're amazing, lots of love!
— Jnon 🤍
Jnon!
Hearing from you never fails to make my day! NEVER. I love you and you're perfect.
I love writing Tony and Pocket. They bring me so much joy with their banter. Right now, though, Pocket's got no need for a house. I leaned on it much more in earlier drafts, but Pocket's fucking loaded. Like, she may not be a billionaire, but she aint' hurtin', lol.
Obviously, Tony didn't send Joe Jonas to Russia; he hates her almost as much as Pocket does at this point, but as for whether or not she got in on her own... well, we shall have to wait and see!
As for Steveioli, it does roll off the tongue so smoothly! There are definitely repercussions concerning his encounter with Pocket at the gala, which you'll start hearing about this afternoon! I want to say so much more, but EEP! I cannot not!
I will say, the lemonade, like the Thai food, was safe. No worries there. It was more like Steve trying to make a point to Pocket that he knows her so well. Pathetically.
Your theories as to what could happen on the mission with Bucky and Jabba the Hut are fantastic; I wish I had come up with any one of them, but I did not. :(
And finally, THANK YOU SO MUCH! I had a moment yesterday where I typed the final sentence and was just like "shit; now what do I do with my life?" I'm pleased to say, I'm ten pages in to With Friends Like These already, so I think we'll be good, lol. And while I was so happy to finally be rid of The Famous Jett Jackson (wow-- that's a throwback; I'm old), I'm nowhere near done with Pocket, I think. I love her too much, lol.
As always, I love getting your responses. They make my day!
J'scoons
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Alright bestie, I have sufficiently recovered from my hangover and can actually form more coherent thoughts. It’s gonna be LONG (can you tell I love this chapter so much?), so here goes:
Honestly, this is mainly just going to be me gushing about your writing because genuinely, the way this whole chapter was written was just – it was so beautiful.
Like the past 3 chapters were too, don’t get me wrong, but this one was just oof (I’m running out of words)- I had to re-read paragraphs or sentences several times over because it was just THAT GOOD.
The exchange between Azzi and Zoe, poor Zoe man, and Zoe saying “let me remember you as someone good- someone great” 😔 when you find the love of your life but you’re not theirs ❤️🩹 Thank you for your service (to the plot), Zoe.
And then the accident – babes you really put me through it with this part. This in particular though, “Uh yeah- I told her Azzi called and she seemed pretty sure she wanted me to pick up.” Maybe Paige does know what it would do, does know how it would make Azzi feel, maybe that’s the whole fucking point. The rage I felt towards Paige in this moment, like I know she was hurting bad but oh man doing this after having gone back to being radio silent had me fuming!
And then we get to THE SCENE. Which might be one of my favourite things you’ve ever written and that I’ve ever read. Was it one of the most heartbreaking things I’ve had to read? Abso-fucking-lutely. But my god, the way it was written was IMMACULATE. DIVINE. Just absolute perfection.
I could go on about this part forever, and the number of lines/quotes that just pierced me to my core, but this ask might just become as long as the chapter was but far less eloquent so I won’t put anybody through that.
This bit though - “If I hadn’t called you that night would you have called me first Paige? If I hadn’t gotten into that stupid accident, would you even have texted me ever again?” Paige’s silence is an answer in itself. I was starting to trust Paige again before this chapter and so I was severely disappointed in her with this one. Look I know she starts redeeming herself towards the end, but she’s still got a ways to go before, even I, trust her with Azzi’s heart.
Oh and then when she talks about maybe entering the draft if Azzi gave her a reason to. Like I know baby girl was desperate to save them at this point, but I kinda hated her for it because to give Azzi that small flicker of hope when Azzi was right, she probably would have just resented Azzi for it eventually.
Quick side note though: can I just say I love how real-life circumstances line up perfectly for this fic – Sparks having the second pick of the draft and that being where Paige was projected to go, and then the bracket having UCLA and UConn in a potential Final Four match up. I knew the committee were fans of the fic too! 😭
Azzi giving Paige a taste of her own medicine – AS SHE SHOULD.
The game – Nika hugging Azzi?? Love that growth. And then “good game Bueckers” – again, I’m team Azzi here right now but my heart still hurt for Paige in that moment.
But also, Azzi still being so happy for Paige despite her own heartbreak at losing, the love she still has for her despite everything is so 🥺
The final part – Paige desperately wanting Azzi there for the championship game and just her entire proclamation of love and always being there from now on. Like ok maybe I’m team Paige again too, but she really has put my poor sweet princess pookie through so much so…IDK I’M CONFLICTED.
OKAY FUCK IMMA WRAP THIS BIT UP NOW EVEN THOUGH I COULD KEEP GOING
Thoughts on what’s next?
Fluff, maybe? 😭
I’m actually so curious what Azzi’s response will be, because I think I recall you saying way back when that you envisioned them not ending up together until much later in the story? So does she give in and finally give them a chance? Or is she still not ready yet? Either way, I think for Paige, this is it – she’s all in and even if Azzi says she’s not ready yet, I know she’ll wait however long it takes and she’ll keep showing up (or at least I hope she does).
But also, Azzi showing up to the championship game in Paige’s jersey, maybe? Please?
Also, I just realised that since we don’t have Azzi getting injured in this fic (thank you, because we need at least one alternate universe where it doesn’t happen) – does that mean they’d be getting drafted in the same year? Oof so much potential with that! 👀
Ok ok I’ll stop here now, but again, even in my extremely hungover and half-dead state (which I was in when I first read part 4), trust that my brain was constantly WOW WOW WOW while my heart kept breaking.
Favourite line/quote (there are so many, too many, to choose from):
“I think you mean it now. I don’t think you’ll mean it forever,”
Also just another quick side note, as always the song choice is on point, but when I was listening to my UCLA au playlist (I know, I literally made one too, I’m just too invested lmao), I Was Made For Loving You by Tori Kelly and Ed Sheeran came on and idk the chorus of “I was made for loving you, even though we may be hopeless hearts just passing through. Every bone screaming I don’t know what we should do. All I know is, darling, I was made for loving you” just felt really poignant when reading the ending.
Thank you for this bestie. Have a great day/night and hopefully we get the W tomorrow 🙏
So much love always, Nivi 💗
-🙋♀️
Have I mentioned how much I love you? And every time I see you in my inbox, especially with your long reviews, I get to so excited and honestly they'll never be too long for me. <3
First of all babes thank you for all the compliments, like you had me blushing throughout reading because it really means a lot, especially because this fic really would not exist without you. 💗
Zoe really is just a good pure soul and breaking her heart sort of broke mine
Paige (as she realize eventually) really fucked up in this chapter like even I, as the person in control of this lmao, was pretty upset with her but as you said, this is it for Paige. She's fully out of her stupidity era (I think) and completely into her *fight til the end* era now
I had a lot of fun writing the fight scene so the fact that it's your favorite makes me so happy and lowkey babes we're the same, cause gut-wrenching heartbreak scenes really are my most favorite thing ever.
No but actually though so many things lined up really well for the fic to still stay really close to reality (except well UCLA isn't gonna be in the F4 but still if they had Azzi....) and the draft worked out really well. I think for Paige to get to the point that she did, she needed to to be put in a similar situation and the draft really worked out well for that
Okay I'm ngl to you bestie, I actually don't know what's next. I had a vision but I'm also very go with the flow, so a lot of my initial plans have gone out the window. So honestly, currently, I don't know if Azzi's gonna say yes, no or maybe something in between?
I'm glad you picked up on them likely being drafted in the same year because as it stands, the two of them are not gonna be able to be in the same state/city for a hot second and that's gonna be the new point of contention, especially with Azzi's trust issues.
That quote was one of my favorites too!
YES I WAS MADE FOR LOVING YOU FITS SO WELL WITH THE END. I'd also recommend listening to Just Give Me a Reason because the duet fits both Paige and Azzi very well, with one of them being hopeful and the other on the brink of despair
Always happy to see you babes <3
#ask#fic talk#UCLA ANON LOML FR <3#the way these parts are just as much a surprise for me as they are for y'all because i never what my hands are about to write
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A Bunch Of Headcannons And Theories: Pt 1
Oh boooyyy...
Another multi post series.
Like I'm not busy enough.
OH WELL!
LET'S HAVE SOME FUCKING FUN!
Oh, I should probably say what this is about, huh?
So basically, I'm just gonna talk about some theories/headcannons (cause I can't tell the difference sometimes) regarding Hazbin Hotel and the world around Hazbin Hotel.
Not all of this will be cannon, and I'm not aware of every little detail of the Hazbin Hotel universe, so if I need to be corrected on some parts (or if you just want to tell me your own little thoughts on these (or your own personal headcannons/theories)), please do so down in the comments, or reblog. Whichever you prefer.
So let's get to it!
Ok ok ok.
Let's start with-----
Souls Being Born:
I've been contemplating how souls work since I first started watching Helluva Boss (not Hazbin Hotel, since I think I just saw that on a one-off). I've kinda got a theory? I guess?
So, I'm thinking that Hazbin Hotel uses the "Souls Are Made" trope, instead of reincarnation. Basically, souls are made (maybe out of the materials of the universe? idk) to fit into either human bodies, angel bodies, or hellborn bodies. After that, depending on what the soul did in their life, they get transported either to another world or they are forced to stay in their world where their soul degrades and joins the world itself. (which makes me wonder is angel and hellborn souls can be reborn as humans? It's not my favorite theory, since humans don't just appear, so I'm going to say that one's probably not it)
This kinda moves into the next segment.
Good And Bad Effecting Souls:
I talked about the souls moving based off of what they did in their life above, but I didn't get into much detail about that.
How I think it works is that a soul accumulates good and bad (somethings) as it goes through life. After the body is dead and the soul has to move on, I think the amount of good and bad (somethings) accumulated pulls the soul either to heaven or hell. And if the soul hasn't accumulated enough of either (or they've done too much bad in hell or been too good in heaven), their soul remains in the same world.
But because the soul has to move to a different world in order to survive (for unknown reasons?), it simply degrades and becomes part of the world. (Hinting towards the eyes in hell. For humans, maybe they become trees?)
Souls Being Moved And Not Giving Birth:
This moves smoothly from the previous segment, but after a soul is moved, they keep the same shape pretty much, except for the slight differences because of the worlds. (For natural borns (humans, angels, hellborns), they look that way because that's a body, which is holding their soul. (Which makes me wonder if hellborn can actually become angels? Or if angels can become sinners?))
Also, because sinners and winners are souls, they don't have the body necessary to give birth.
Only humans, angels, and hellborns actually have a body, so they can actually give birth.
ALRIGHT!
So that's part 1.
I feel like I kinda just went in circles?
And maybe I missed a few thoughts?
Oh well.
I'll get part 2 up..... eventually....
Look, I have a lot of drafts to do, and I've already got 2 other multi-post series.
(I need a break....)
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So I know it's been a while since I posted any updates, but SO much has happened since my last one of these!!
[The following was never actually posted and exists only as a draft on Respite's socials]
I think last time I wrote one of these I was about to go on that stupid mission to find a doll- which we did find, btw, but things got kind of crazy so we had to bail before we could take the doll. idt I can rlly say much more about the whole thing. Teachers kept talking about "discretion" and "privacy," which is, like, why I haven't posted about it till now.
But idk, Mire's back now, so maybe it's fine if I explain everything? A few of my friends chickened out but the rest of us tried to sneak into a faculty building to retrieve a doll as part of a hazing thing. After nearly getting killed by some dope magical items in the attic, we were supposed to just take the doll and gtfo, but there was some other cool stuff we wanted to look at and...idk, I guess Mire just got curious and picked up a really dangerous item. Then they disappeared for what we thought was gonna be forever, so we figured we should probably get help. I'm still, like, pretty new to advanced magic shit so wtf else was I supposed to do, y’know??
We got suspended for a month with like a ton of community service on top, too. Which I guess is, like, fair but also seems a little rude to do to someone who just watched their friend get imprisoned on another plane but w/e. I guess it doesn't fucking matter anyways!!! Because we literally just started up our classes again and just found Mire chilling in the swamp like 30 min outside the main campus. Like, wtf.
They're acting so weird and it's freaking me out. Like it's some kind of selective amnesia? They remember Thad, and the school, but none of us. Which would be fine on its own but there's like a bunch of inconsistencies and everyone around me is just acting like it's a great thing they're back?? The professors didn't even seem that weirded out!! I mean I guess it's their job to stay calm but Willow is pushing so hard for things to go back to normal, and Mettie seems too out of his mind to have a clear grasp on what's happening, Nora kept trying to be all "everyone chill out," and Thad just keeps saying they know what's up but won't explain anything, so the only person I can agree with rn is Sersh and that's weird!!!
I don't want to seem crazy, but it feels weird to just accept it as-is. Ofc I wanted to get Mire back, but idek if this is the same Mire we used to know! Uggghhhhhh
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LoL Worlds 2023 Finals Reaction Post
instead of a million text posts, i'm gonna just make this one extremely long one.
oh my god t1's first draft. they are not here to fuck around. but also if they don't get a solid early game advantage then uh. fear.
if that was damn near any midlaner other than xiaohu, that would have been first blood for sure. but SO well counterplayed by weibo wow
if i have to watch t1 lose worlds finals to jayce again i'm going to delete that goddamn champion from the entire game.
weiwei is doing WORK keeping weibo in this.
t1's neutral objective control my god
eyyyy atlus ty for the cloud soul
weiwei didn't die???? just maokai things jfc
what does this literally perfect neutral objective control mean if you can't fuckin win a skirmish though
XIAOHU DIDN'T DIE????
yeah okay lost the dragon and the stacking delay isn't great but the won fight is big. both gold wise and mentally
bengi isn't here D:
keria. the love of my life. guma looked dead to rights, but keria simply will not allow that.
i was so afraid zeus wouldn't be able to stand up to theshy. that really was my biggest fear for this series, and it is so reassuring that he absolutely is
god it's only 28 minutes into game 1 and i'm already struggling to stay awake
zeus fucking melted that dragon holy shit
hell yeah boys, 2 more games of that <3 <3 <3
DRAVEN!
yeah okay there's the yone ban lol
nocturne? oooh oner is feeling himself today
this is such a fun draft omg. still very scared about top lane, but the big picture t1's put together is fantastic. looove watching t1 play that clean, clean macro.
hmm don't love that start for the bot lane. not idea.
holy shit theshy (impressed) holy shit theshy (my dude you're throwing)
THE EXECUTE zeus is the only god i worship actually
wow i've got way fewer thoughts this game. the time is catching up to me and i'm too eepy for that much thought lol
lmao guma just looked at crisp and he exploded. and oner's ults have been so, so good this whole game
i know it's hope that kills you. and it's been very, very rough to watch t1's finals appearances these last few years, so i've not really let myself hope. but i can't help it at this point
zeus series mvp, but oner deserves it too
MATCH POINT LET'S FUCKING GOOOO
i really hope they stay together if they win. i don't want to have to divide my loyalties.
...oh god what if they win and then faker retires.
BENGI'S NOT THERE OH NO i'd forgored D:
xayah rakan ^_^ ^_^ ^_^
brad is fun but like. weird choice so early on imo
akali! lee sin! you fucking love to see it
lmao imagine picking kennen into zeus. the aatrox is a ballsy choice, but he's absolutely earned that at this point
oner and zeus own this series.
awww man that grand entrance was so good it's tragic it wasn't quite enough
i have so many more thoughts about this game than i have the energy to make coherent let alone type oop
damn that herald just isn't gonna die good for them
FAKER TRIPLE KILL and he's so focused it doesn't even register on his face
and he just. keeps. going. then zeus cleans up with the double kill.
fuck i have to pee so bad but i can't miss a second of this live
that should have been a pick onto keria. but no, 2 kills for t1. jfc
this is it. they've done it. oh my fucking god.
we've hit hitting them with their wallets territory. idk maybe there's some miracle somewhere but not really. not with t1 playing like this. not with their lead.
HOW DID ZEUS NOT DIE
oh my god they did it they're so cute i cannot see what i'm typing through the tears
the first professional league i ever watched was the last time t1 won worlds.
AND THEY'RE IN KOREA FUCKING HELL
holy shit they did it. fuck i'm so fucking proud of them
faker was so casual about the win, too. that boy i swear to god i have never wanted to suck a dick so bad in my life
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I'm...trying to find ways to open up to my extended family via Facebook (l i s t e n). And unfortunately I fear that having hidden and kept quiet about a lot of things might have done some damage to being able to open up slowly.
let me explain no it's too much let me sum up etc etc okay lets go:
first and foremost i am very verbose. IDK if you've noticed this but I tend to post really really long things under the guise of "summing up". It's like my favorite bit I do and also it's completely uncontrollable I have no ability to stop sorry folks. (yes that is a warning that this shit's gonna get long)
Secondly I tend to be...defensive very quickly. My parents were very right wing, and christian, and my mom's favorite club in school was the Forensics club which - to my extreme disappointment - was not about detective skills and how to solve mysteries, but instead was about debate and communication skills. If I took a side that differed from the way they thought about things, I would have to explain myself. Defend my stance, as it were. It was not phrased or framed like this, by the way, I didn't put these dots together until about a month ago.
If I couldn't debate my point with sources cited and shown and vetted for "respectability" from my parents (had to be from sources they liked/approved of) and if I didn't have those on hand, or wasn't using Actual Statistics from Actual Studies (again properly sourced and cited in my verbal argument i was just pulled into because I didn't know my parents didn't think this was a reasonable thing to think) then I didn't know what I was talking about well enough to actually hold that opinion now did I? I should go do more looking until I agree with my parents again have more evidence to support my side (it's a trick, there is never enough evidence to change their minds, there is never enough evidence to support my argument if it disagrees with theirs, because my evidence is bad because it supports my argument, you see. Evidence and statistics and things can be manipulated to manipulate you, after all. Don't trust what you read on the internet - they did not see the irony in their lessons here, by the way, in case you were wondering)
And I do not want to come across as...aggressive or argumentative. I just want to explain things. I don't want to sound hurt or angry or, god forbid, "emotional". I want to sound logical and rational and like i am knowledgeable about what i'm talking about.
Unfortunately 1) talking about your past like that can get you immediately dismissed as lying (ask me how I know) 2) a lot of the shit I went through was very quietly traumatic and has fucked with me but does not look like traumatic events or trauma in general because it was little traumas over so very very long, and if you get really emotional or caught up in things, you can get dismissed as over reacting (ask me how i FUCKING know) 3) when I get emotional I lose the plot of what i'm doing and just start going off about every thing I think about related to that point, which can be undermining to the things I'm saying and can discredit me (ASK ME HOW I KNOW)
Now - do I believe that the family I'm still in contact with would do these things outright? No, not necessarily. But I know I will get at least one, maybe two "Well they were trying their best"s about my parents which... doesn't change the fact that I was still hurt.
On top of those things, I struggle with knowing how much is too much to share. How much is necessary to get across my point without going too far and sharing things folks don't really want - or need - to know about? That might relate back to the debate-thing I mentioned before, actually.
Regardless, It's a struggle. i went through no less than 3 separate drafts of an idea for a post (none of which was less than 6 paragraphs long when I gave up - even with accounting for my habit of single-sentence paragraphs for emphasis), and I still can't keep it to the topic I wanted to address, because everything from that flows out. And I know it means I need to do some work within myself to like. Come to terms with how I was treated and what I was taught being treated like that and find new skills and mechanism to help me move on and grown and learn, etc.
But one of the things I wanted to do to help me work through these things is find out who in my family I can trust to know the story.
And that's the dilemma, isn't it?
Like I suppose that is the crux of my problem, is that I want to trust and because I inherently am distrustful of my whole family due to the way I was raised and the fallout from that, I can't trust so I default to my usual way of telling folks I don't trust about the things that hurt me, which is to share all of the details. That way if they're going to judge me they can at least do it with all of the facts from my side of the story, along with the rest of the anonymous internet.
I mean the other major problem is that I do 100% want to be a total petty bitch and air out my whole family's dirty laundry but still somehow maintain my parents' reputation with those who think well of them still. So like. that's hard too, I guess.
Maybe one day I will be able to explain that I cannot support Home Schooling as a general sweeping approval thing because I was actively harmed by it without having to go into the details as to why or how, but I can also see where it's helpful to those who have benefited from the option of being able to do it, and that the discussion is nuanced and ever ongoing and there's just. A lot of complicated things about it, you know? and I was one of the ones who had it better than others but still got burned because there's inherent structural issues within the government and how we educate children on a public level as well as the regulations for private learning.
but...
(gif description: Miguel and Tulio from the animated movie The Road to El Dorado, Miguel crossing the frame behind Tulio who is shaking his head while Miguel says "Stars. Can't Do it. Not today.")
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Favorite Lines, Snippet Smonday, etc...
Okay, I was tagged in MANY things recently, and I'm going to probably kill many birds with a single post. Thank you to @femme--de--lettres, @spindrifters, @greenvlvetcouch, @bluestringpudding, and @bluesundaycake for the tags over the last week or two (and others who I am probably forgetting but appreciate just as much!)
This whole section absolutely tickles me. Just... Remus being 100% in the zone and only vaguely aware of Problems occurring around him while he's doing nerd boy shit. XD
Downstairs, the front door slammed open.
(“FILTH! BEAST! MUGGLE-LOVING WHORE—”
“INCENDIO — oh, bugger all!”)
“Can you check that?” Remus muttered, prodding a bind rune to shift it ever so slightly to the left.
Seven degrees, maybe? No, too much — five should suffice.
Sirius huffed, his footsteps carrying him out of the drawing room and into the hall. “Hullo Annie, nice to see you Annie, thank you for setting fire to the drapery again Annie—”
“Not now — is Nymphadora here?”
Sod it. Quicker to just rebuild the whole bloody thing from the ground up at this point. And if he took it piece by piece, it shouldn’t come crashing down on him — that was the tricky bit. One wrong move and he could wind up blowing them all to kingdom come. Or he could wind up giving someone a duckbill or something. Magic was funny like that.
“No? We haven’t seen her since she left for work. I thought she was having dinner with you tonight.”
But he could use Orion and Sirius’ work as a foundation and just… make something that made a little more sense based on that. Wards for detection, protection, alarms, maybe even slipping in an apotropaic talisman because, quite frankly, Remus was at his wit's end, so he might as well get creative with it.
“She was supposed to, yes, but she never came home.”
If he worked from the outside in and just… replaced wards as he went, that would be the most sensible approach. But then he’d probably need to go back and adjust them again after he’d replaced the central bind rune, and he really didn’t want to keep fucking around with it. That was just asking for trouble, it was.
“Well, she’s probably just been kept late at the office—”
“That was my first thought, but we already asked Kingsley, and he said she left at her usual time. She’s not there.”
If he was quick and careful about it — and he typically was — he could hot-swap a new core in and then build the rest out before it all backfired. Take a little planning, but he could get there. Probably.
Remus. Remus, no.
Anyway, this is extremely rough draft but I do like how it's turning out as of right now.
I'd tag someone else but honestly idk what I'm even tagging for at this point hahaha.
#remus lupin#sirius black#andromeda tonks#nymphadora tonks if you squint#hp#ltl#little sneak peek? more likely than you think#by which i mean i think this is the version i'm going with#it ended up being another remus POV chapter because. well.#because it's me let's be real#his head is where i live
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Writer Questions game !
Tagged by @isabellebissonrouthier
As always if you want to do this, consider yourself tagged by me !
Under a cut because it's slightly long imo :)
1. What is your absolute all-time favorite idea you've ever had?
Hmm. Considering I keep going back to it, even after long stretches of time, I guess the building blocks of Break of Dawn would be that ? I'm bad at choosing favorites unless they really jump out, honestly. (like the Emperor but does he count as an idea if he's a character ?)
2. Is there a question you've been asked in the past that really stands out to you and you still think about sometimes?
Uh. nah ?
3. What is your favorite part of being a writer? What parts could you take or leave?
Genuinely, re-reading my own writing. It's great. I giggle at ALL of my jokes, even the stupidest, because I am the primary audience and i LOVE my own humor.
What i could take or leave... idk. looking up vocabulary. please brain have a french-english dictionary that doesn't stop working every other sentence please and thanks.
4. What is your greatest motivation to write/create?
I Get To Get Shit Done. It's Here. It Exists
5. What is the best piece of advice you've ever read or been given as a writer?
Done is better than perfect done is better than perfect done is better than perfect.
6. What do you wish you knew when you were first starting out writing?
..............done is better than perfect
But, seriously, I would've liked knowing that drafting on paper then doing the second draft on computer was the way to go earlier. Like, i always assumed i "wrote good" at school because it was to take off my mind of the boredom, but i realize it's also just because. it was on paper. it wasn't directly on computer. for some reason directly on computer just Does Not Work for me.
7. What is your favorite story you've written TO COMPLETION? Link it if you'd like and can
It's either Sweet Revenge or The Festival of Fire, both of which i will not link due to being smut. And also Sweet Revenge should get an itch.io publish whenever i can actually finish the goddamn illustrations !
8. What is your favorite out-of-the-box quote?
I had to google what this means and I'm still not sure what it means so I'm guessing it's an out of context quote.
"– I know who you are.
This barely gave Velannen pause.
– A man whose inkpot you just spilled everywhere ?"
Guess 3 sentences is slightly longer than One Quote but eh!
9. Which of your characters would you say has the most controversial mindset? Why do you say so and how do you personally feel about their ideals?
Hmm... I don't. Elysia, maybe? How no matter what her goal is, good or bad, she's willing to do Absolutely Anything, the end justify the means, as well as being a general Chaos Agent, that shape her into this. Peculiar lady. Her ideal is to Fucking Murder Dawn [i still am not certain why] because Fuck Dawn in Particular, which is something I agree with, but you know, manipulating everyone around her and forcing them into deeply fucked relationships with her is definitely A Way to go about it.
But I have, like, an array of fucked up characters. The Emperor and his obsession with perfection/perfecting himself vs his unwillingness to change himself and become a better person, instead arguing that everyone has it wrong and he IS perfect already, while deeply hating himself. Dawn and her being convinced that to be perfect, this planet has to abide by HER rules that SHE thought up in SPITE of her job being 'make sure the universe doesn't fold over itself" and not "take over a planet because they have a different system to write down magic'. I realize everyone I mentioned here is from Break of Dawn.
10. If you when you first started writing met you now, what would younger you think?
"YOU WRITE IN ENGLISH FLUENTLY NOW ????"
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Oh. My. GOD. okay so,
My burnt-out dumb ass, been working on sewing, and shared this hobby with a friend (who is cute). And like, yay! Friend! I love friends! Community! Love and support and appreciation! You can get all these and more from people with whom you are not romantic!
And she messages me fairly out of the blue, and we get to texting, and talking about hanging out and having craft time and hangouts. Body doubling! Do your own individual projects, but in a group as a fun friendship activity!
And so we go grab boba tea before craft time. And let me tell, you. Respectfully. I know people can dress for themselves and not for others to be leering at them. But also she was wearing the kind of dress I would wear if I were her if I wanted to send a signal loud and clear. Respectfully: the titties were out, and they looked amazing. ANYWAYS, BY THIS POINT I'M ALREADY PANICKING.
"Am I being too autistic about this?". I was genuinely looking forward to crafting together because I really wanted to finish up my muslin and check the fit because this is the first fitted garment I'm drafting myself and like, I'm just kinda excited to have that experience, but also share it with a friend who's also into this hobby?
But then idfk where my mind went. We got back to my place and talked about crafts and I showed her around, but then before it was craft time she had to show me something on the sofa, and then we just talked for hours. And slowly got more and more subtly cuddly. Intertwined legs to watch something on a cell phone, when we easily could have chromecasted the video to the big TV in front of us.
As I'm saying this right now, in retrospect, I don't know how I was not clear in my reception of these signals. But also that's important for the story later. Because. BECAUSE, eventually our faces got a little close and she got flustered and at THIS point I felt confidently clear. And I just smiled and asked, "what?".
"Oh, I just. We just got really close there."
"yeah, we did." just a big teasing smile, with rizz.
After more flustered, I say, "listen, I play by vampire rules. I need an explicit invitation. If there's something you want, you need to tell me clearly. Otherwise I will not push."
"well, okay WAIT, well what are YOU feeling, what do you want?"
"I really like all this cuddling. And I also think maybe kissing could be really fun, too."
She agreed. AND AAAAAHHHH.
I am still buzzing. Can you believe that there are people who actually believe that consent can't be sexy? I bratted/teased/dommed my way into sexy kissy bitey time with a lovely and cute and wonderful woman by simply DEMANDING explicit consent.
And the only thing that ever held me back in this kind of interaction has been all the bullshit expectations of how I should behave as a "man", and now that I accept myself as non-binary, I just have to be ME, and that's enough. I don't need to put on a masking performance in order to start a physical or romantic relationship. If something happens, dope. If not, now I'm friends with yet another amazing and talented and beautiful woman. Woe is me, all of my friends are dope as fuck. How will I ever cope. (that's sarcasm).
Anyways, this was a big firehouse of feelings. Idk if any of it makes any sense. It's nearly 2am (she stayed until we noticed it was midnight and we have work in the morning) and I'm exhausted, so maybe I can't keep a train of thought.
But the fact that my dumbass autistic self was SO GENUINELY STOKED for craft time with friends, and then, only then when I have zero expectations, does such a magically wonderful experience happen.
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The he/she/ghoul demigirl Catti fan focusing on ghoul not showing up in the spamton sweepstakes nor the newsletters: shriveled up, wilting away, beating up a pillow VS the he/she/ghoul demigirl Catti fan that realizes Toby Fox is intentionally hiding ghoul away because ghoul is the playable character of chapters 3-5: jumping up in joy, thriving, feeling the sun against their skin. (aw yeah progress report time >:3)
STUFF IS HAPPENING!!!! Wowowow so much stuffs its crazy how much stuffs is… I don’t… it’s… uhm, happening?!! I thought I should clear some shits up. Ok so basically I’m working on four simultaneous projects somehow!!! Two AUs (“Mystery Delta Dungeon” and Deltaswap Inspired “Delta Scene Change” title STILL pending) and the fourth and fifth iteration in my kind of Deltarune… Krerdly… series?? Idk what to call it but just know that that’s happening! The two new mainline fics don’t overlap too-too much which means working on both sort of at the same time is pretty stress free in the continuation department. Soo those are going smoothly (even if they’re still both kinda in the draft phase) and I’m really happy with the vibes there!! I actually decided to implement the fourth in the middle of the fifth so it’s more of a compliment to the series than anything but I definitely think it’s needed and a super welcome addition in my opini-onion. *~^* ~
The order I’m aiming to release my projs is Delta Dungeon 1st -> Delta Scene Change 2nd -> Pieromancer 3rd -> Boons and Banes of Love 4th! I think THINK (think) that Delta Dungeon could be finished by this year if I do a good job ;^> but don’t count on it because deadlines were my downfall for my last upload “Cosmetic Heart Container”. ònó I made the setting a friggin mall and pulled that “big fish small pond” shit at a MALL like omg there was so much… potential and I frew it all up but WHATEVER I’m proud of the buildup!! Just wish I didn’t have to spoil my own fun with deadlines (fuck deadlines)… maybe I’ll rewrite a sort of continuation for that fic and double it’s size when everything else is said and done?? I’ll see!!!! It definitely deserves justice!!
Speaking of aftermaths: I’ve been rolling the idea of a Catti-focused fic in my brain for a bit now. Don’t know about the nitty gritty details but after everything I think it could be fun to promote “major side character” to “main character” and see what happens. Don’t want to pull a Spamton NEO and drop dead after I sever my last string from Deltarune lol (ouch @o@) (won’t happen anytime soon @v@‘).
Since I posted Krises last time I felt like doing sneak peaks, here’s some supplemental Berdlys to keep them company.
Auugh the quality!! Sorry I blended the pixels and made a smoothie out of them. :( It was tasty tho.
Ok enough business it’s me time and I’m kicking it off with a huge announcement. I’m not afraid to say it anymore… I really like Gyftrot Noelle. I REALLY like Gyftrot Noelle!!!!! There’s something about her that speaks to me mhm mhm. My first experience with the concept was through the design done by @pespillo but while searching for references I also saw some really cute ones by @undertalegorls so definitely go and dig through their profiles to see the vision! ì.í
Okay I have to cut the silliness short because it’s time for… spontaneous Animal Crossing Headcanons!!
Kris Moment!!!
Bug Enthusiast Bug House Bug Island Only Bugs 3 Golden Nets In Inventory Flick’s Best Friend Flick Cosplayer Completed Bug Museum within 24 Hours via time traveling
Ugliest villagers imaginable
Most crafted item: pitfall seed
Crazy good at Hide-And-Seek, cracked custom outfit designer (countless horned-hat QR-codes)
Hates Blathers
“Sings” along at K.K. Slider concerts,
“Make Flick and CJ gay wedding real right now @NinninedoOfficial @NinninedoOfficial @NinninedoOfficial”
Programs the wedding themself out of spite.
Reaction Wheel - Mischief/Let’s Go/Sleepy/Cold Chill/Scare/Stretch/Sniff Sniff/Sneezing
Wordy Berd(l)y
Time Traveler Anti “I-IT’S CHEATING!!”
Achievement Enthusiast (according to his passport)
Doesn’t realize unlimited tasks are unlimited
Buys turnips up the wazoo but gets horrible selling price luck (always needs to use Noelle’s shop)
Keeps track of exact tool durability and customizes his tools different colors to refresh it
Can’t figure out why he doesn’t have every reaction
“Intellectual villagers ONLY” (that’s why)
Crushes on AND kins Raymond, very seriously considers getting a yellow or blue eye-contact to match his heterochromia
Hangs up all his villagers’ photos like trophies, including dupes
Regularly rants about his villagers to Kris (“Why is it that Raymond can spontaneously profess his love for me but YOU CAN’T?!”)
Cannot for the life of him make a pretty island, to his dismay
#1 Pocket Camp Hater
Blathers kinny
“Kris don’t let me fall asleep it is absolutely vital that I wish for star fragments tonight.”
Reaction Wheel - Pride/Aggravation/Thought/Smirking/Behold/Amazed/Mistaken/Heartbreak
Catti (Wow)
Queen of Nookazon
Hacked star trees
INVENTS fashion
Infamous haunted island dreamcode
Always has a matching umbrella
Favorite NPC is Brewster
“Wand-outfit slots… increase them.”
Reaction Wheel - Haunt/Take a Picture/Yoga/Resignation/Disagreement/Agreement/Intense/Work It
The bunny outside is frightful, Noelle
Cannot stop playing Happy Home Designer DLC
Permanently sets island to Winter
Terrified of Zipper the bunny
Completely normal about the New Leaf soundtrack being BETTER
Furnished extra houses for her family
Extremely attached to her villagers and convinced Catti and Ralsei to help her write fan-fiction for them
Takes animal crossing personality quizzes religiously
Highest HHA score out of her friends but doesn’t tell Berdly
Somebody get this girl more co-op features she is desperate.
Reaction Wheel - Eager/Pleased/Sighing/Sheepishness/Curiosity/Distress/Act Natural
Introducing… Ralsei!
Prince of Amiibo Cards (scans one every day because they are all his friends)
Really wants to show his friends every part of his island
Treats villagers like royalty
Can’t say no to villager requests
Posts ethereal flower patch combos
90% of his island consists of flower fields
Never had to look up a single fake painting tutorial
Jumped in joy at the food update
Mails letters to all his residents every day.
Reaction Wheel - Greetings/Wave Goodbye/Confetti/Glee/Delight/Worry/Apologetic/Here You Go
If anyone’s allowed to crash directly into the studio it’s Susie.
Borrows everyone else’s Switch to play
Runs everywhere holding an axe
Extremely emotional about fishing results
Goes out of her way to ask Blathers about fossils and responds with “woooah” every single time without fail
Claims the dinosaur exhibit is her favorite but finds all of the museum extremely relaxing
Dives off balconies into the water over and over
Sells everything through the drop-off box
Loves goofing around in Harv’s island
“The hell you mean you don’t grow rocks in your rock garden?”
Ralsei lets her terraform whatever she wants and builds off of it
Genuinely upset that she can’t terraform higher than 4 levels
“MOSS UPDATE??!”
Reaction Wheel - Flex/Encouraging/Curiosity/Laughter/Day Dreaming/Excited/Bashfulness/Shocked
And if anyone wants to visit MY island my Dream Address is DA-8935-5288-7510 ùvú
Also to contextualize this seemingly random Animal Crossing section, I’m sure some of you won’t be surprised to hear that before I was crisping chicken I was… a Marshmond maniac. *insert ominous thunder flash* Marshmond stands for Marshal and Raymond btw. Krerdly is definitely more Bob x Raymond lean, though…
Speaking of related characters!! I’ve been keeping track of kin-lists for my fav trio on the side. Here’s what I got so far!!
Kris Kins: Karkat (Homestuck) - Flick (Animal Crossing) - Link (The Legends of Zelda) - Beast Boy (Teen Titans) - Gnabbit (Mario Bros.) - Mae Borowski (Night In The Woods) - Bax Twiford (Ikenfell) - Metal Sonic (Sonic The Hedgehog) - Gramble Gigglefunny (Bugsnax) - Prince of Ouji (Katamari) - Creeper (Minecraft) - Courtney (Paranormal Park) - The Devil (Cuphead) - Magalor (Kirby)
Berdly Kins: Tobey McCallister (Word Girl) - Falco Lombardi (Starfox) - Revali (The Legends Of Zelda) - Waluigi (Mario Bros.) - Blathers (Animal Crossing) - Ibn Oxley (Ikenfell) - Lace (Hollow Knight: Silksong) - Jet The Hawk (Sonic Riders) - Snorpy Fizzlebean (Bugsnax) - Amity Blight (The Owl House) - Miles Edgeworth (Pheonix Wright: Ace Attorney) - Ren (Oxenfree) - King Dice (Cuphead) - Sheldon (Splatoon)
Catti Kins: Raven (Teen Titans) - Bea (Night In The Woods) - Blaze The Cat (Sonic) - Beffica Winklesnoot (Bugsnax) - Katrina (Animal Crossing) - M’ggie (Broken Age) - Magic Witch Ashley (WarioWare)
“You better be afraid of the great CA-A-TTI!”
~~ OK ANYWAYS ~~
~~ LIGHTNING ROUND ~~
~~ DIRECTLY FROM MY NOTES APP ~~
~~ LET’S GO!! ~~
Kris and Susie going as Flick and CJ for Halloween.
Berdly asks Catti if they can go as Blathers and Celeste to follow suit and there is 1 (one) universe where ghoul says yes.
Kris and Susie love Bugsnax fr fr.
Kris and Berdly go bonkers over Bug Fables. Cosplay Group: Catti Lief, Berdly Kabbu, Kris Vi, Jockington Chompy.
Krerdly is so bogus binted x papers printed core <3
Berdly is Yikking out! (Leans in to kiss Kris at QC’s Diner without warning, they demand he never try to do so ever again.)
Kris pestering Berdly with “if. you. were. gay, da na-na na-na na-na. that’da. be. o-k. da na-na na-na na-na” all of pride month.
Catti and Noelle as the “should I kill off the characters in my book to make it more interesting?” audio.
Ralsei: Slay!! Noelle, internally: Sleigh??
Noelle, sweating and holding up a paw: Sorry I’m late, I was the man behind the slaughter! Susie, blowing steam out of her nose: I’m stuff…. wait what?
(To the tune of Fairly Odd Parents Theme Song) The trash and mash in that school stash Just gave out instantly When the magic little goat hidin’ his every dote Gave a prophecy!
“BANG, BANG, BANG STRAIGHT THROUGH MY HEEAAARRT” -Kris every moment of every day after creating 77 original animation memes
“Pray tell, companion of mine, what is this… “jiggle jiggle skin” you are referring to?” -Player 1
“Glizzyyy” -Player 2 110%
Berdly HATES jellybeans because they’re awful and manipulative
For that last one I originally wrote down that Berdly really liked jellybeans because they just seemed to fit his palette in my mind until I ate one that made me wanna puke and decided it wasn’t meant to be.
Also also idk where to put this but there’s this one scene in Broken Age after Vella escapes the sacrifice ceremony where she’s standing on the back of a giant blue bird flying through the sky in her ripped dress and a knife in her mouth and I’ve never wanted Kris to take the place of another character so badly before… (Berdly makes a fun Shay replacement also but the big blue bird is clearly the hanging fruit here)
Ok! Cool! Good post! Awesome job! Thanks for sticking around. Play Ikenfell, Chicory, and A Short Hike. Don’t forget to totally look at my island lol I definitely didn’t speedrun finishing it just for this post lol. Appreciate cha if you do (DA-8935-5288-7510). Amazingness. Goodnight gamers.
Posted July 27th, 2023. Sparkle Sparkle.
#I’ll just have to make all the Catti content myself now won’t I#lots of stuffs this time#respectable stuffs
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It was a “5 things you didn’t say at all (stewy/roman)” post! It could just be a fault on my end but each time I click on keep reading it shows a blank page. If you still have it somewhere and would be willing to share I’d love to read it <3
OHHHH YES!!! that was a mini fic from a prompt list I had reblogged agessss ago. idk what happened to the actual post but I still have the draft in my docs!! so here you go :-)
5) Things you didn’t say at all
His therapist had told him he should try keeping a journal. Roman is one hundred percent sure that that’s some bullshit. He can barely bring himself to talk about his feelings with a professional, much less write them down and be forced to confront them by himself.
“Just give it a shot,” Dr. Rossi had told him. “A couple of weeks. Doesn’t matter how often you do it or how much you write, just that you write something, alright?”
Roman had reluctantly agreed, so now he’s sitting in front of his laptop, glaring at the empty word document in front of him.
They had agreed that he could type instead of writing it out. Actually writing in a journal feels a bit too fucking teenage girl for Roman’s taste. He’s not going to scribble his crush’s name in the margins and draw little hearts around it. He’s a grown ass man. He types shit. And it’s easier to hide shit on a computer. He doesn’t know where in the apartment he would hide a notebook that wouldn’t be at risk of being found. He knows Stewy wouldn’t go snooping, but he doesn’t know what excuse he could come up with to explain it. If he’s being forced to keep a journal, he would much rather have it on his laptop, buried six folders deep, the way he used to hide porn when he was a teenager.
This is stupid, he types. He deletes the last few letters, then thinks better of it. He’s supposed to be writing down whatever he feels. And he feels that this is stupid. He finishes the word again.
“What the fuck am I supposed to write about?” he had asked Dr. Rossi.
She had considered him carefully for a moment, as if she was trying to figure out how to explain it in a way that wouldn’t piss him off. She spends a lot of time in their sessions figuring out ways to explain things in ways that won’t piss him off.
“About how you’re feeling. What you’re thinking. Hell, you could even write about what you had for lunch. It’s just about getting words out of your brain and onto paper. Trust me. I think that once you get yourself to start, you’ll find that it actually feels good.”
Roman had stopped himself from saying that he highly doubted it.
The word document is mocking him.
I’m not going to talk about my feelings. That’s stupid. It doesn’t make any difference if I write things down or if I just think them. This is a stupid assignment.
Dr. Rossi hadn’t told him that he had to bring in the journal as proof. He kind of wants to, anyway, just to show her how fucking stupid it is.
“Maybe you can write about Stewy,” she had suggested.
Roman had scoffed at that, but now when he thinks about it, he thinks that maybe it’s not such a terrible idea. As long as Stewy will never see it. As long as no one will ever see it.
Stewy is okay. I like him. He’s fine.
He lets out a long sigh.
He’s always been really good at lying to himself.
He deletes the line and starts over.
I think I’m in love with Stewy.
Which shouldn’t be a big deal. It really shouldn’t. It’s NOT a big deal. That is something that happens to normal people. They fall in love, usually. Some people don’t. I didn’t think I would. Maybe I’m more normal than I thought I was. (Haha).
Roman taps his fingers lightly on the keys before he types: He makes me feel safe.
It feels stupider to see it in words. He doesn’t delete it.
He makes me feel like a real person. He makes me feel normal, sometimes. I guess as normal as I can be. He treats me like I’m normal. He doesn’t treat me like I’m broken or fucked up (even though he knows I am). He treats me the way I think you’re supposed to treat people you care about.
And, okay, yeah, this journal has already spiraled into teenage girl bullshit territory. Here he is, sitting in their bed—Stewy’s bed, he corrects himself—writing about his feelings. He almost wants to write Roman Hosseini as a joke. He doesn’t.
Okay so maybe I love him.
He asks the journal So what?, as if it’s judging him for the words he’s putting into it. Maybe it is. He definitely feels judged, but maybe that’s just him.
Maybe I love him.
I love him.
Seeing the words in writing doesn’t make it feel any different than it already felt. So he was right—take that, Dr. Rossi. Writing them down doesn’t make a goddamn difference.
He stares at the screen for a little while longer. The cursor is still blinking, waiting just past the period on the end of him. Roman tries to think of something else to say. He doesn’t think there’s anything else to add.
So there it is, staring back at him.
He closes out the word document, saves it as Therapy bullshit, moves it as many folders deep as he can, and shuts his laptop. He doesn’t want to think about how it will still be waiting for him the next time he forces himself to open the document back up. That’s a problem for future him.
He doesn’t think he’ll say it. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever say it. But it’s there, and it will wait for him, as patient as can possibly be.
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Not again
4kota fan-fiction
Aprox 550 words (see AN at the end)
******************************************
Fuck
Not again. Not now. It always happens when he… when…
Don’t think about it. Ignore it. Ignore your body trembling gritting movements, not that they matter.
They asked for it. They wanted to kill him. His friends. His family. They wanted to take their hope.
They were evil. He had the right, no, the duty to end this. He knew that. But it still made him sick. Thoughts of dread and despair. There was something so nauseating of hearing a person’s thoughts go silent. Knowing that they go silent because of him.
Sometimes, he bet he could hear memories of loved ones pop in their heads for a fraction of a second. A mother, a father, a kid. It was a final cry for help. Their last breath seeking comfort and forgiveness when it was too late.
He swallowed the bitter thought. His head was starting to feel dizzy as he took the bodies and one by one buried them.
He couldn’t afford to be so goddam soft.
He had to show Percy how it’s done. Don’t show emotions. Keep it inside. Do what you need to do.
He kept going. Now they were asking him questions. Lancelot had to keep the explanations simple. A servant of Lioness in a mission… Yes, Lioness! They needed to go to Lioness. It was about time they did.
“The guy with the star visor, and the giant craftsman dude… what do they have to do with that?”
Fuck Percy. Please... Give me a break.
“That’s my personal business. Nothing you need to be concerned about.” That should suffice for now. For now…
Lancelot placed a seed on the dirt above the bodies. They can continue to exist, to give life on the forest. Nothing ended. It merely continues in an endless cycle. Their bodies can serve a better purpose buried in the soil.
He reminded himself that their deaths were not unjustified or unreasoned. They had a purpose. And he would honor their lives to finally let them go. The only clemency they could get. And the only forgiveness he could reach. A proper burial for the ones that died in battle.
Let that free him from the guilt. Let that allow them to live on.
.
.
.
“Are you from the fairy clan perhaps?” Good question from Nasiens. He had a sharp mind, that Lancelot knew for sure. Totally opposite to Percival, who’s astonishment and joy was only comparable to that of a toddler.
“Lemme try this real quick!” ‘Poop poop poop poop’
“Huh?” There he goes. Percy being the most stupid kid Lancelot has ever seen. “I’m not saying it!”
They don’t seem to understand at all. Hopeless.
Well, maybe not…
In fact, he almost wanted to laugh. Percival was one of the knights of prophecy, and his friends were his allies. And yet, they were all dorks.
No time to think too long. Lancelot felt something approaching. That black knight had come for Percival again. They were being excessively loud and obnoxious. Too bad they wouldn’t get what they had come to take.
“Sorry, we don’t have time to play with you.” They wouldn’t waste any more time. “We’re heading out.” His mission was over. He got to teach these kids a thing or two. He got to see them grow. And now, it was over, not in echo gorge as he once thought. They managed to come this far… They still had a long way to go. But that only shows their potential.
******************************************
A/N
Fun fact! I wrote this when chapter 50 came out. But I never posted it, cause I felt like it was too short and idk, I kinda lost interest in it, and felt ashamed of posting it. The point is, I was looking at my random drafts and saw this, and I remember a post by @grace-of-flash when they said they were scared of posting something they made. And ofc I was all like “go ahead and post!” But I realized I didn’t follow that advice. And I haven’t post any of my writing here, so I thought ‘why not’.
I mean, isn’t that the internet for?
Anyways. I hope I begin to follow my advice more often. I like writing a lot, but when I think of posting I just kinda get too scared to post and end up leaving things half done. Anywho. If you read this thanks, hahahs I just vented there, I love you, you’re doing great, please believe in yourself.
#starring Lancelot#lance#my dear#my poor boy#he’s been through a lot hahahsjs#four knights of the apocalypse#mokushiroku no yon kishi#4kota#seven deadly sins sequel#manga#mnyk#lancelot#4kota fan fiction#mnyk fanfiction#fanfiction#4kota writing#Percival#Nasiens#Anne#Donnie#angst#Lancelot angst#4kota angst
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