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youraverageaemondsimp · 4 months

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Secrets behind the curtain. // Actor!Aemond Targaryen x Manager!Reader || MODERN AU

Summary: Aemond takes out his frustration of losing an award on you.

WARNINGS: mdni, dubious consent, p in v sex, unprotected sex, tiddy sucking, degradation, dacryphilia, car (it's a limousine) sex, slightly dark!aemond, riding, messy sex, power imbalance, rigged award show, + not proofread, please lemme know if I missed any.

WC: 1.7K

A/N: I cooked this while trynna complete my other wips like bro 😭 adhd be like 😋 also this isn't dark enough to be tagged under mae:dark!content but it does contain dubious consent (reader is implied to find the situation inappropriate to fuck) so yeah, a heads up // divider creds: @cafekitsune

“And the best actor award goes to…” The host trails off, leaving room for suspense and Aemond leans back relaxed on his chair, knowing that he would be winning.

“Jason Lannister!”

As the host announces the name, your blood runs cold, you notice Aemond twitch slightly in his seat, he shoots you a glare and you look down at your feet.

Aemond watches in anger as Jason goes up the stage and collects the award, “That asshole isn't even that good at acting.” He scoffs and you swallow, “Aemond, the cameras.” you whisper and he rolls his eyes, putting on a fake expression of a smile, as though he's happy that Jason won, but you know the truth.

After this award, a small break was given to artists to freshen up, redo their makeup, or relieve themselves, but for Aemond that wasn't the case, “We're leaving.” He tells you and you look at him in shock, “But- the award show hasn't ended yet? If we live now, the press might notice and create articles on how you left right after you lost.” You reason, trying to catch up to Aemond as he was making his way through the alleyway, reaching his limousine which was parked behind the building, he checked the area for any press before he turned to face you.

“And whose fault was that? You brought me here, saying that I would win, look what happened now.” He grabs you by your cheeks roughly and you swallow thickly, “You were supposed to win! The judges evaluated that your performance was better but the Lannisters might've played foul.” You tried to reason but he scoffs, making his way over to the limousine and getting in.

“Where the fuck is the driver?” He asks you, when he sees you getting inside along with him, and you shrug, “He probably went to take a break– but Aemond please, your image will be ruined if you leave now.” You beg, yet he remains quiet and sits down, you shut the door behind you and sit down as well, awkward silence filling up the air.

There was no convincing Aemond once he made up his mind, so you dialled the drivers number but he didn't pick up, and you took this as a sign to persuade Aemond one last time, as if he'll suddenly change his mind even though he refused multiple times.

“Aemond, the press will write about how you were upset that you didn't win and left right after, besides that isn't the only award you are nominated for, you are also nominated for best character in the series, which will take place after this break.” You tell him calmly and he scoffs, “Yeah, just so i can lose that award too right?” He glares at you, and you shut up.

You sigh to yourself, knowing that you'd have to be the one dealing with damage control, Otto and Alicent would not be pleased, considering how Aemond had already once gotten into a controversy for taunting his nephews at an award show, questioning their birth indirectly.

You are about to dial the driver's number once again before your phone is yanked off from your grip, your hand is then grabbed and you stumble forward into Aemond arms.

He wastes no time in unbuttoning your shirt revealing your bra, he untucks your shirt and pulls it off you, throwing it on the ground and then begins mouthing at your breast, and kissing on your neck.

“Aemond— we can't right now—” You try to protest but he interrupts you, “Shut the fuck up.” He grits his teeth and you immediately obey.

He pushes you down onto the seat and pulls your pants off, leaving you in nothing but your underwear and feeling vulnerable.

You open your mouth to protest again but he slams his lips against you, leaving you unable to speak. The kiss is aggressive, hungry and anger filled, he bites your lip enough to make it painful but not to draw blood, and you whine into the kiss. His hands roam up your body and he finds your breasts, squeezing them tightly and mostly aggressively.

He pulls away and begins to undo his own pants, unbuckling belt and pulling his pants and boxers down, revealing his hard and leaking cock, he unbuttons his shirt slightly, feeling hot.

Your panties are pulled off in an instant and thrown to where the rest of your clothes are, same with your bra, you grip the edge of slim seats to not fall off when he grabs your legs and spreads them wide, before leaning forward and causing your knees to push up against your chest.

He spits on your cunt, his hands now holding the underside of your knees, he lets one of them in order to line his cock up against your entrance before going back to the underside of your knees again.

You gasp when his cock stretches your walls, throwing your head back in pleasure, Aemond doesn't waste any moment and begins to ram harshly into your cunt and you bite your lip to prevent noises from coming out.

“Fucking slut, look at how wet you've become.” He says harshly, his hips thrusting in and out at a fast pace, he grabs your arms and pins them upwards, “'Foul play' you say? It doesn't matter how much money they've spent, you should've spent more.” He grits his teeth, still remembering your words from earlier. “B-but that wouldn't be fair–” You are cut off with a light slap to your cheek, before he grips it tightly, “Fair? Who cares about fairness? Look what happened now.” He spits in your mouth.

You swallow, knowing you have no choice, a small smirk forms on his lips at what you've done, likely satisfied with your behaviour.

But soon he remembers that this situation didn't occur because he simply wanted to fuck his favourite woman like all the other times, no, he was mad at you.

“You're so fucking useless, do you know that?” He asks and you sniff, staying silent.

“Useless whore, you couldn't even make me win the award, the only thing you're good for is being a cocksleeve and a cunt to dump my cum into.” He degrades you and you can feel the tears begin to form in your eyes at his words.

Yet he finds joy in those tears.

“You're crying now? Imagine how I felt when I lost the award huh? How embarrassing was it for me? Especially to that fucking Jason Lannister.” His thrusts become even more brutal.

Your body jolts up and down the seat at the impact, but you still remain silent, the only noises that leave your mouth being whines and moans.

“You're fired.”

Your eyes shoot wide open at those words and you begin to shake, “No- no, please!” You beg and he chuckles, “Desperate to keep this job that much huh? Why? Is it because of my cock?” He asks and you shake your head no, “Please–” You beg and he seems to be in thought.

He suddenly pulls you up, changing positions.

He is now sitting straight with you straddling him, your arms gripping his shoulders for balance.

“Do you really want to keep this job?” He asks and you nod eagerly, “Well, you know what to do.” He says and you nod.

You raise your hips slightly before going down again, you set a decent pace and begin riding him, you bounce up and down on his cock, gripping his shoulders tight, whilst he grips your hips.

“You're so fucking pretty like this.” He mutters, pressing kisses on your breasts before pulling your nipple into his mouth, your pace falters slightly, yet his mouth remains on your breast, suckling on the nipple, twirling his tongue around the bud, and groaning in pleasure.

He leaves your breast with a wet pop before giving the other one the same attention, “I love these tits so much, I can only imagine how delicious it would be if they swell up with milk.” He sighs, rubbing his face in between them and placing a kiss on your sternum.

You begin picking up the pace again, slightly leaning forward which makes the tip of his cock hit the sweet spot, making you let out a moan, you feel his grip tighten on your hips, and soon starts to thrust upwards, matching your pace.

“Fuck Aem– I'm so close.” You close your eyes, “I know baby, me too.” He kisses your neck, and due to the repeated hits at your sweet spot, you finish with a loud moan and immediately fall limp at the impact, your breathing uneven as you rest your cheek on his shoulder.

He thrusts a few more times before he comes too with a grunt, painting your walls white with his seed. You both stay like that for a moment until you break the silence with a question, “Are you actually gonna fire me?” You question and he chuckles, “And miss out having the best fucking company ready 24/7 for me? No. I'm no such fool.” He answers.

Suddenly your phone begins to ring, you get off him and pick the call up and Aemond watches you to do so.

You gasp when the other person reveals the news to you, and you turn to look at Aemond, who looks at you with furrowed eyebrows, and you end the conversation with the other person, cutting the call.

“The award show is cancelled, apparently the Lannisters have been exposed for the foul play they had done.” you tell him, and his face immediately becomes bright with a smile on his face, and soon it is replaced with a smirk as he watches you put your clothes on.

“You better prepare yourself for a round two at my house.” He tells you and quickly pulls his pants up, before you can say anything, the door opens

“Sorry madam, I wasn't able to pick up the call, my phone died when I tried to.” The driver apologises and gets into the vehicle, seating himself on the driver's seat and quickly starts the limousine, and you sit down next to Aemond, who rests his hand on your thigh, causing goosebumps to rise as you oddly anticipate what's about to come.

The ride home felt like an eternity.

— ! ݈݇- thank you so much for reading! i hope you enjoyed it <3 comments and reblogs are appreciated greatly ♡

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ecoamerica · 2 months

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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bobfloydsbabe · 3 months

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yours | eccentric professor!bob floyd x oc

a gold rush fic

SUMMARY: Professor Bob is working on his next book when Imogen comes home and suggests they try something new.

WARNINGS: academia au, age gap (mid 20s/late 30s), power imbalance, SMUT, cockwarming, unprotected p in v, dirty talk, praise, possessive bob, discussion of birth control and protection, intimacy, and a little fluff. strictly 18+/minors dni.

WORD COUNT: 1.2k

PROFESSOR BOB MASTERLIST

JOIN THE TAGLIST

SPECIAL THANKS to @up-thereinthesky for the Lew pic and to @attapullman who sent in this delicious ask that set my horny little brain on fire. What was supposed to be a short blurb took on a life of its own, so here we are. Thank you for loving Bob and Imogen as much as I do. Enjoy ✨

He’s sitting at his desk, staring at the blank document on his laptop, when he hears the front door open and close.

He smiles to himself as her stomping footsteps get closer. She’d never survive as a spy with those heavy footfalls.

“Hey,” she says when she appears in the doorway to his office. “You still at it?”

He hums, pushing his glasses up his nose. “Getting nowhere.”

“Maybe you should take a break,” she suggests and crosses the room, placing her ass right in his lap.

“Perhaps I should,” he agrees and presses his lips to her shoulder. “How was lunch with your parents?”

She scoffs. “A disaster,” she mutters, snaking her arms around his neck, and presses her forehead against his temple. “I don’t know why I expected it to go well. It never does.”

He squeezes her waist, turning his head so their lips can meet. It starts off slow and sweet, a little lazy, just kissing because they can. He’s so lost in her, he barely notices when his cock hardens.

She grins into their kiss. “Someone’s excited to see me,” she mumbles against his lips.

“Just ignore it and kiss me.”

He means it. He doesn’t want to start something when she’s just come home from a bad meeting and he’s supposed to be working on his next book.

She does as he says and keeps kissing him, but after a minute, she pulls away. He sees her eyes dart down to his growing erection.

She looks almost shy when her eyes meet his again. “Do you want me to keep you warm?”

He gapes a little. “Are you asking if you can cockw–”

“Cockwarm you, yes,” she finishes for him, and he detects no hint of joking in her tone.

“Baby,” he whispers, placing his palm against the back of her head. “I’d never ask you to do something you’re uncomfortable with.”

She frowns, lips pursed in an adorable pout. “I’m not uncomfortable,” she insists. “I want to.”

“I don’t have a condom.”

She shakes her head. “We don’t need one.” He opens his mouth to argue, but she beats him to it. “I have an IUD, and you’re the only person I’ve been with.”

“Baby, are you sure?” He’s stroking her hair even as she nods.

“Okay,” he agrees and kisses her lips.

She slides off his lap. He rids himself of his joggers and boxers, and strokes his cock to full hardness while Imogen slips her black panties off. She tosses them aside and they land on his laptop keyboard.

As she climbs back in his lap, a sudden thought strikes him. “I don’t have lube either,” he says, trying not to sound disappointed. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Smirking, she reaches for his free hand and guides it to her pussy. “Not a problem, Professor.”

She’s already soaking for him.

He holds back a groan as he runs his fingers up and down her folds a few times. He pulls back, looks into her dark doe eyes, and sees love reflected back at him.

He loves her. She loves him.

“You ready?” The hand that isn’t holding on to the base of his cock snakes around her body and rests on her ass.

She nods. “I’m ready.”

She rises to her knees, and he guides his cock to her entrance. They moan into each other’s mouths as his tip slips inside, but then she hisses and Bob’s eyes shoot open.

“You okay?”

"Yeah," she assures him, but her face contorts into a tight grimace. “You’re big.”

He smiles, a breathy chuckle escaping as he leans forward, brushing his lips against her cheek. “I know, baby,” he mutters. “Take your time.”

She nods, biting her lip as she sinks further down on his cock. “Mmm, feel so full.”

“I know,” he repeats. “You’re taking me so well, keeping me nice and warm.”

Stifling a moan, she tightens her grip on his hair. “Keep talking,” she whispers.

“So good for me,” he mumbles, groaning as she slides even further down his cock. “So fucking tight, so warm.” She’s whimpering now. “Almost there, baby. You can do it. My good girl.”

Then their hips come flush with each other, and he’s seated all the way inside her.

Even though she said it was fine, he can tell she’s feeling the stretch. Bob always makes sure to prep her to take him, and often they don’t need lube, but right now he sure wishes they had. He doesn’t like the face she’s pulling.

Leaning forward, he kisses her lips gently. “You did so good, baby,” he assures her.

It’s quiet when the tension leaves her body, and she sighs deeply into his mouth. His fingertips run up and down her spine, and she shudders at the sensation.

They stay like that, foreheads pressed together. Skin to skin in the most intimate way possible, pieces of a puzzle that fit perfectly together.

“How was lunch with your parents?”

She jerks back, a deep dent between her brows. “You really want to talk about my parents while you’re inside me?”

He can’t help the chuckle that passes his lips. “I never want to talk about your parents,” he explains. “But you came home from lunch upset.”

She sighs, rests her head in the crook of his neck. “They asked me to break up with you.”

He hums, not surprised in the least. After almost a year of being together, you would think her parents would give up and just accept it, but they haven’t. Bob knows they likely never will.

“Hey,” he mutters, making her raise her head to meet his eyes. “I love you. You know that, right?”

Unexpectedly, or perhaps not entirely, she clenches around him. “Fuck, baby,” he groans into her neck. “Don’t do that or this won’t be cockwarming anymore.”

“Maybe it was an excuse to get you inside me,” she says, her tone sounding a little too innocent. She leans down and her lips graze against his ear. “Maybe I just wanted your cock.”

He lifts his head as his hands travel down her spine. “Oh, yeah?”

She nods, biting her bottom lip with her doe-like eyes wide and innocent, as if she isn’t greedy for him, and he’s sure she’ll be the death of him.

Grasping her ass, he plants his feet solidly on the ground and thrusts up into her. He revels in the sound that escapes her, gasp turning into a breathy moan as her fingers scrape across his scalp.

“Do it again,” she whines, eyes closed in pleasure and pussy holding him in a vice grip. “Fuck me, Professor. Make me yours.”

“Open your eyes,” he demands. “Look at me.”

She does, pupils wide with desire and desperation, a delicious flush rapidly spreading across her cheeks and down the column of her throat.

“You are mine,” he growls, punctuating the statement with another deep thrust. “All mine.”

likes are nice, but reblogs and comments are golden

TAGLIST: @attapullman, @bobgasm, @joaquinwhorres, @kmc1989, @bcarolinablr, @cremebruleequeen, @xoxabs88xox, @auroraseddie, @roosterforme, @bluezraven, @sio-ina-bottle, @bradshawsbaby, @sweetwhispersofchaos, @fandom-princess-forevermore, @keyrani, @cherrycola27, @just-in-case-iloveyou, @seitmai, @solo-pitstop-vibes, @millieb-3199, @hangmandruigandmav, @sebsxphia

#bob floyd #robert bob floyd #robert floyd #bob floyd fic #bob floyd x oc #bob floyd smut #robert bob floyd fic #robert floyd fic #eccentric professor bob #professor bob #oc: imogen van doren #otp: bob x imogen #fic: gold rush #helena writes #mywriting #writtenbyme #madebyme #made by me #lewis pullman

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peachymilkandcream · 5 months

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My Husband, My Monster|Part 6|William Afton x Wife!Reader

(A/N: Christmas is over and we're back on the grind of writing. Another MHMM chapter is the perfect way to get back into it, this one is pretty short because I wanted to get it out but I’m technically on holiday. Hope you enjoy the newest chapter and reply to be added to the taglist!)

WARNINGS: noncon, dubcon, power imbalance, age difference, manipulation, mind breaking, yandere themes, yandere behaviours, domestic violencee, misogyny, violencee, William's a warning himself, etc.

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Domestic bliss, what a lie that was. She wished she had knew just how much work a child would be before allowing this to happen. William didn't help their situation either, he was of the mindset like most men his age, he believed that taking care of and raising their child wasn't his responsibility. She was the one getting up in the middle of the night to tend to little Michael, since William couldn't be bothered to get out of bed.

He was also starting to work late, spending all of his time at work instead of his recovering wife. It was as if now that she had given birth he now longer had any use for her. She was just an after thought because he had gotten what he wanted, the perfect family.

His excuse was that the business was booming and therefore it required more of his time and dedication than it had before. According to him, Henry was pushing more and more for certain animatronics and making the business run and function the way he chose and brushing past William’s wishes. Of course he had a right to be miserable.

Somewhere within was the man she had come to find so charming, however deep within it was. He was irritable, aggressive, and changed his moods on a whim. The bruises on her body were a testament to these.

Never in her life would she have thought that she would be trapped in a marriage with a child where her husband beats the hell out of her whenever he feels he should. What was worse, she didn’t have her parents around to ask whether or not it was okay for her now husband to do such a thing. They would always just tell her what was right and wrong, now she only had William’s word for it.

The martial strife between the two seemed to have been sensed by little Micheal, he wouldn’t stop crying, screaming his lungs out until his mother’s ears were bleeding. She couldn’t get any moment of rest from the constant wailing from her dear son.

It was days like these she wished to drop her life and walk away forever, try some way to go back to the life she had before all of this and have some semblance of normalcy.

But how could she leave? This was her life, it’s all she knew now, it’s all she had. She hadn’t been in contact with her parents this whole time and she didn’t even know where they were now, they had moved away, never to be seen or heard of again.

She was trapped, stuck under the will of her husband to do as he pleased. Her life was never to be her own again, he would decide all things for her, everything would be what he chose.

Which is what happened when he approached her one night after she had finally healed from childbirth. She had been on her own the entirety of the day, exhausted from taking care of all of his house and child.

“My dear, I believe it’s time we have another child.”

Tags:

========================== @fandomreader @n3r0-1417 @2pacl0ve

#william afton smut #william afton x reader #william afton #william afton x you #william afton x oc #steve raglan x oc #five nights at freddys movies #steve raglan x you #steve raglan smut #steve raglan x reader #steve raglan #five nights at freddys #five nights at freddy's #fnaf

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hello-nichya-here · 11 months

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In your opinion, do some of the more dubious moments in ASOIAF (Rhaegar and Lyanna, Dany and Drogo, Dany and Jorah, Tyrion and Tysha, Cersei and Taena, Theon and Jeyne, Lysa and Petyr) count as rape/assault/grooming?

Let's go through this answer case by case.

Rhaegar and Lyanna

Ah, probably the most controversial "Did she consent to it or not?" in the whole story - and for good reason since we only ever hear about it from other people. However, even taking that into account, there are enough hints in the books to shed some light into that mistery - and honestly, I think it points to BOTH "Lyanna ran off with Rhaegar willingly" and "Rhaegar was asshole who took advantage and ruined her life" being true.

Lyanna didn't want to marry Robert. She objected to it repeatedly, and we hear all the time about how she has the "wolf's blood" - and Ned, the person who was likely the least in the dark about all of this, said that this "wolf's blood" led both his brother and his sister to an early grave, implying that she did go with Rhaegar willingly.

Rhaegar was also seen as handsome, charming, clever, and just basically every woman's dream husband. It is not impossible that Lyanna took a liking to him. Rhaegar would also not be the first Targaryen prince/king to elope with the woman he loved, and Aegon the conqueror became king of Westeros with his TWO wives. He could have easily used those tales about his family to assure Lyanna that things would be fine, that her running away with him wasn't that crazy of an idea and that there wouldn't be tragic consequences.

We also have Jon Snow, who we are 99% sure is her son in the books like he was in the show, constantly discussing "bride stealing/kidnaping" with Ygritte, which is treated not as real kidnaping but essentially as courting, with the woman choosing to elope with him or not. We we even hear the story of Beal the Bard, the king-beyond-the-wall who pretended to be a singer, was allowed to take a flower from Lord Stark's garden - and in the morning, Lord Stark's daughter is gone, but there is a blue winter rose in her place, a flower that is CONSTANTLY associated with Lyanna in the books. Once again, the story is told as love story.

But, while all of that gives us a pretty romantic, happy start to their story, we cannot forget how it ended: Lyanna all alone in a tower, dying while giving birth, seemingly completely in the dark about the fact that Rhaegar's family has been killing hers as no one bothered to explain to the Starks that no, she wasn't kidnapped, she went with him willingly.

And Rhaegar did not elope with her just out of love. He was trying to fullfil a prophecy. He needed a woman to give him another son - the right son - and clearly priotized making sure that child would not be taken by the Starks or anyone else over, ya know, not raging war against Lyanna's family.

The power imbalance between them is also quite great. Rhaegar is an adult, Lyanna is not. Rhaegar is a married man taking a mistress, Lyanna is dishonoring herself by sleeping with him. Rhaegar is the future king, free to go wherever he wants, Lyanna is a noble girl that is far away from her family and locked up in a tower. The further they get from Winterfell, the more Lyanna has to rely solely on Rhaegar - and look where it got her.

So yeah, in all likelyhood it started out as a love story, but ended with Lyanna losing all agency, her family, and even her life - things Rhaegar could have at least tried to prevent, yet we get no indication that he did.

Dany and Drogo

Just their first time is already one hell of a controversial topic. Daenerys is 13, she's terrified, she just wants to go home and be a kid. She is also being courted by Drogo and they do share some nice moments during their wedding. Then it's time for the wedding night, and Daenerys is once again cowering in fear and in fact tries to cover her body up, but Drogo won't let her. However he also tries to be reassuring, gentle AND asks her permission to go all the way, and she accepts. Dany goes to non-consenting to as consenting as someone in her position can be, and then back, A LOT. It's mixed-bag.

But let's not forget what Drogo does when Dany is clearly NOT consenting, and is in fact hurt, crying, terrified, and freaking suicidal. He takes what he wants anyway. She's his wife, so he is usually kinder to her than he would ever even consider being to any of the random women he raped, but he does still view her as property. If she's being all sweet and willing, great! If she's not, then she's gonna have to endure because the decision of when they do and do not have sex is his to make. In his mind, he probably thinks "I was nice to her the first time and she agreeded to it - that means she's ALWAYS up for it" because if the idea of marital rape is already something the people in that universe can't grasp, the idea that a wife consenting to sex with her husband once doesn't mean she has consented for EVERYTIME might as well be just a bunch of nonsensical words to them.

Now, Dany does take some more control later on. She becomes as equal to Drogo in the relationship as she could possibly ever be (again, considering her age and Drogo's mentality), and the two of them end up genuinely falling in love, and sex with him becomes something Dany quite likes instead of just more suffering. But retroactive consent doesn't exist.

Lets say that Dany was an adult who married Drogo willingly, they got along right away, and for months all the sex between them was consensual. Then one night she turns him down and he doesn't take no for an answer. The one non-consensual time doesn't magically make all the previous times they had sex sudddenly become rape, nor does the fact that it all started out consensual change the fact that he did rape her that one night.

Drogo raped Daenerys. The feelings they would develop for each other later on and all the times she did consent don't change that fact.

Dany and Jorah

A way more mild exemple compared to the previous one, but still worth discussing.

In the third book, Jorah kisses Dany, and that kiss is the thing that sort of re-awakens her sexuality, which had been dormant since her husband died AND since she was in a lot of pain due to the truly agonizing birth of her child, that had already been dead, but also wasn't, but kind of was. Anyways, Dany kind of liked the kiss - even though it's very clear she wishes it had not been with Jorah, but rather with someone younger (her lovers are all men, as in fully grown adults, but they're not thrice her age like him).

However, let's look a the actual scene.

Dany is changing her clothes in a hurry, not thinking much about the fact that Jorah is there (she did walk around with one breast out nearly all the time after all, and he did not do anything other than look). This time though, he surprises her and pulls her for a kiss, and while Dany doesn't really struggle, she does think to herself "I'm his queen, not his woman."

She tells him he shouldn't have done it, he replies that he shouldn't have waited that long. He keeps on staring at her naked chest, and she covers up. She says it wasn't right and that she is his queen - a very clear "Don't do anything I didn't give you permission to do" - he calls her the most brave and beautiful woman he has ever seen and calls her by her name, leading to her very sternly reminding him to call her "Your grace." Jorah agrees... and then goes on to talk about how no man would ever be as faithful to her as him, and it's very clear he isn't saying that just because he is her loyal knight, but rather to once again declare his romantic attraction to her.

Daenerys is being VERY clear and rejecting him. But every word she says goes in one ear and out the other because Jorah doesn't want to listen to what she has to say. He did not kiss her again (as full on forcing himself on her out be VERY out of character for him), but his complete disregard for her repeated verbal objections to his attempt of making her think of him as a potential lover are not great.

And it makes perfect sence considering WHY he is so "in love." While he genuinely connects with Dany, the attraction comes from the fact that she looks just like his second wife, the one who loved and who abandoned him to be part of a rich man's harem.

Whenever Jorah acts on his feelings for "Dany", Daenerys is, ironically, the last thing on his mind. He is thinking of his desires, his pain, his feelings. The girl in front of him be damned - she's just an object of lust/affection, despite her clear discomfort.

Tyrion and Tysha

This one is rather easy. It 100% is rape - however, Tysha AND Tyrion are being victimized, because the real abuser, the one holding all the power, is Tywin.

The whole "give her to the guards" thing was HIS idea, and Tyrion, who was just 13-years-old, says he was FORCED to watch, and then to rape her as well, and it's clear the event messed with his head. WE feel sorry for Tysha and think of how horrible that must have been for her, but Tywin's intention was to hurt TYRION, and she was just a way to do it, not a person.

Tysha went through hell on that moment, but so did Tyrion - and that was by design.

Cersei and Taena

The argument for this one is even simpler: Cersei's intention was to assault Taena, therefore this one should be treated, at the very least, as attempted rape, if not full on rape.

She had been thinking of all the times Robert raped her before she decided to assault Taena, deliberately hurt her and blamed it on the wine before saying she'd have what she'd want anyways because she's the queen - almost word for word what Robert used to say to her. And during the act, Cersei is fantasizing about torturing Taena to death.

"Oh, but she was aroused, seemed to enjoy it, and even offered to fuck Cersei too!"

1 - Cersei explicitly mentioned said to her "I'm the queen, you don't get to say no to me." The message was very clear that even if Taena didn't want it, she'd have no choice but to play along.

2 - Taena ALWAYS knows what to say to make Cersei happy anyways. She made up the whole bullshit story of "Loras is totally in love with his sister and joined the king's guard to be near her" because she knew it was Cersei's love story with Jaime and thus she'd be super biased to believe it. OF COURSE she'd play along to anything Cersei did.

3 - Arousal and orgasm are involuntary. It's just the body reacting to what is being done to it. It is NOT the same as consent.

4 - Even if we assume Taena was attracted to Cersei, wanted to have sex with her, and truly enjoyed herself that night, once again, Cersei's INTENTION was rape. Imagine that Cersei serves her food that was supposed to be poisoned, but for whatever reason it ended up not killing her, and intead Taena only had a lovely dinner - it's still attempted murder, even if Taena never realized it.

Cersei wanted to make Taena her victim. End of story.

Theon and Jeyne

Once again, this one is very simple. When Theon "warms up" Ramsay's wife for him, he is doing it under the direct of threat of "If you don't do as I say, I'll torture you until you beg for death, then torture you some more." It's like when Jeyne says she'll do anything Ramsay wants her to, with anyone he desires, including the dogs, and adds a "He doesn't have to cut my foot" at the end.

Both of them are Ramsay's victims. Theon was terrified as Jeyne. It absolutely was rape, but the rapist was Ramsay.

Lysa and Petyr

When Lysa went to Petyr's bed to sleep with him, he had been so drunk, that he mistook her for Catelyn. The second time they sleep together, hehad just gotten beaten so badly by Brandon (Cat's would-be-husband) that Catelyn had to BEG for his life. Naturally, with someone in that poor condition, he was given plenty of things to help with the pain - and as the books have stablished all the time, these lead to very weird dreams and leave the person way out of it.

This throws any consent Petyr could have given in both nights out the window, because even if Lysa asked his permission before doing anything, he was barely even understanding what was going on around him. If consent was impossible, it was rape by default.

Now, we know that Petyr will not only brag about these two night, but also go on to sleep with Lysa many more times and even become her husband eventually. But let's not forget the context here.

1 - Like I explained in the Daenerys and Drogo bit, retroactive consent doesn't exist. It doesn't matter how many times he had consensual sex with Lysa, it does not magically erase the fact that that first two times were rape.

2 - The idea of a man being raped by a woman is just not something the society of Westeros thinks is possible, so naturally Petyr would NEVER understand that what Lysa did to him was assault. At most he'd be bitter that "slept with the wrong sister"

3 - Petyr is very clearly lying to himself about A LOT of things. He convinced himself Catelyn loved him, that he slept with both Tully sisters, that Sansa is BOTH the daughter he and Catelyn never had AND Catelyn 2.0.. Him being in denial about potentially feeling abused, or at the very least angry that he was "tricked", because the story of "Everyone tried to humiliate me but I just ended up fucking my crush AND her sister" makes him feel better about a event that was deeply traumatic to him in a ton of different ways.

#asoiaf #rape #assault #grooming #lyanna stark #rhaegar targaryen #daenerys targaryen #khal drogo #jorah mormont #tyrion lannister #cersei lannister #taena merryweather #tysha #lysa tully #lysa arryn #petyr baelish #littlefinger #jeyne poole #theon greyjoy

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jesses-life-updates · 6 months

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people tend to think trans people are special snowflakes who get pampered by society so here's being trans from the perspective of a transgender 14-year-old who has no adult support in his life. please boost this message to transphobes, it might not change their minds but it could at least make them consider the real children they're hurting.

• when I came out at 13 I was yelled at by my parents until I cried

• according to transphobes it's somehow my fault that I was born with a female body

• people at school ask me what my pronouns are as an insult and call me slurs and nobody does anything about it, not even teachers care

• I came out to these people I thought I could trust and their response was to push me out of their circle of friends and harass me, constantly calling me a lesbian even though I'm not even a girl

• life seems to have lost its colour and I can't remember the last time I felt actual strong emotions

• actual grown ass adults complain about trans people on the internet just for clout and argue with each other about whether or not we deserve rights, as if that isn't the most dehumanising shit

• I've been told that my feelings don't matter by a teacher at my school because "people in countries at war have it worse"

• the prime minister of my country was on national television spreading hate speech about my people and everyone is acting like he's a saint for it, completely ignoring the other bad things he's done for this country because "he hates trans people and that's good"

• I have to stand idly by while trans people my age are committing suicide and I am so scared I will end up adding to that statistic

• there's bad apples in every group of people and just because I'm trans I have to be grouped in with every bigoted/hateful trans person when I'm just trying to keep myself alive and I'm not bothering anyone

• I am too scared to bring up my queer identity around anyone because I don't want them to think I'm shoving it in their face, it might as well be a secret even though I've been out for over a year

• i sometimes forget that I'm not physically a boy but then it hits me again when I see how much taller/deep voiced my male peers are

• I had to resocialise myself as male and change so many things about my behaviour that it's constantly at the forefront of my mind

• my chest constantly feels tight, I can't breathe deeply, my breathing is shaky and I get random rib pains every few hours

• I'm told that my gender is a "protected characteristic" but adults are doing a piss poor job at protecting me, I feel like I'm in danger because of being queer

• people at school harassed me so much for being trans that I practically forced myself back into the closet by telling them I don't care what they refer to me as (I most definitely do care)

• my identity is so normal to me but it's not normal for anyone else, I'll be talking about a girl crush I have thinking what I'm saying is normal but someone chimes in with "oh are you a lesbian?" and it brings me back to the harsh reality that being queer isn't normal

• I used to feel so much pride as a queer kid but now I just hate everything about being queer and I wish so badly that I could be just like everyone else

• more and more laws are being put in place against my people and one day I might not even be able to get gender affirming treatment

• the chemical imbalance in my brain is considered a political stance rather than just a rare condition a group of people have that shouldn't be a big deal

• I, a 14 year old boy, am more mature about gender than ACTUAL GROWN ADULTS who go on PUBLIC TELEVISION TO COMPLAIN ABOUT ME WHEN I AM JUST TRYING TO EXIST IN PEACE

• I keep being hit with the realisation that I still need to wait four years just for the chance of merely beginning to transition, which will cost me thousands of pounds and probably take more than ten years to fully transition, whereas my peers are just handed it at birth

• trans people are seen by society as "annoying" and "shoving it down people's throats" and "looking for an excuse to be special" for some fucking reason

• I have to juggle all this shit with trying hard in school and balancing life, all while my brain is not even fully developed yet. my cognitive and emotional processing skills aren't even close to being developed but i have to deal with suicidal thoughts, media pushing the idea that I'm mentally ill, internalised transphobia, constant harassment, transphobia from almost every single person in my life, feeling like a fucking freak for a chemical imbalance in my brain, and yet I STILL have to deal with normal teenage things like feeling ugly or struggling in school, and further yet I CANT TALK TO A SINGLE ADULT ABOUT MY SITUATION BECAUSE NOBODY BELIEVES ME OR SUPPORTS ME

• the cherry on top: there is absolutely nothing I can do about my situation until I turn 18, my only option is to suck it up and deal with it until either get actual help or end up killing myself

if you're an adult who thinks trans people are groomers/snowflakes/annoying/criminal, think about how your actions are impacting youth who are just trying to stay alive. you are not protecting children by making us wait longer for treatment or shielding us from supportive outlets. grow the fuck up. you're an adult, act like it. find something else to do with your life than attack an astronomically small minority of people.

#transgender #transgender youth #lgbtq #lgbtqia #serious post

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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youtube

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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queenofcoquette · 10 months

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learning to take care of yourself

introduction

there’s so many things about ourselves that we don’t know. nutrition, how our bodies work, our minds. a lot of times we might not understand why problems are occuring in our health, whether it’s mental or physical. on a less serious note we not might know how to take care of our hair, our skin.

i know that i have very little understanding of nutrition and psychology, so i want to learn. i want to know why my body does the things it does. this happened when i had a really horrible hormonal issue that left me with periods that straight up didn’t end. instead of getting an explanation why my doctor just put me on birth control for months. recently i decided to get off of it, and now i want to learn how to be healthy, mentally and physically, which starts with having an understanding of those topics.

health

there’s obviously so much to health. nutrition, taking care of our muscles, so much to learn. our physical health has some correlations to our mental health, and the food we eat can affect our hormones. on top of that, we need to take care of our bodies for when we’re old. we need to take care of ourselves because this is the body we’re stuck with for our lifetime.

reading about nutrition. the first step is understanding nutrition. why it’s important to eat healthy, and what our bodies actually need in order to feel the best they can. additionally, if you have any skin conditions it could be tied to your diet, same with hormonal imbalances.

not giving in to diet culture. i think it’s important to educate ourselves so we don’t go into fad diets that are negative for our health and don’t provide good results.

finding balance in our diets

learning about the benefits of exercise/stretching. again, it’s important to know why you’re doing what you’re doing. when you know why it’s beneficial for you then you’re more likely to stay consistent.

mental health

when it comes to mental health i think it’s beneficial to learn about psychology. not saying you need to know everything about it and be a total expert, but it’s good to know why our brain does the things it does, and how we can manage our emotions.

reading psychology books.

reflecting on our thoughts.

mental diet. a mental diet is just watching what content you consume, and how much of it. too much time on social media IS bad for you, so it’s important to manage how much you’re using the internet, and what you’re using it for

understand WHY. understand why meditating is important. why journalling and reflection are. when you know the why behind your actions then you’ll know why they’re so important and be more likely to stay consistent.

beauty

when it comes to beauty i think it’s important to embrace our natural beauty and highlight our best qualities. when we take care of our physical health and have good personalities, there IS a big difference. our diets affect our skin, our hair growth, our teeth, so many things. so when we take care of that, then we’re able to look and feel better, which is visual.

knowing your skintype & what’s best for it. find products that take care of your individual needs.

knowing your hairtype & what’s best for it. same with skin

finding a style you like. discover what you enjoy wearing, and don’t dress for other people. it’s a gradual process but expressing yourself through style feels great.

prioritizing health over short term things. the main thing is always to think about longevity instead of short term gratification. nourish your body, stay active, take care of your health & you will look better. don’t rush to do things just for instant gratification.

conclusion

when we understand the workings of our body and mind then we can be able to grow, knowing how to meet our individual needs. self improvement isn’t always a one size fits all- it’s about doing the things that keep you your healthiest and happiest. :)

#self improvement #that girl #that girl 2023 #queenofcoquette

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littledigest · 2 years

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Astro Observation: Commonalities in Serial Killer charts

DISCLAIMER: Any aspects, placements, signs, etc. that I mention here on out do not mean that people with one or all of these are, will become, or will act out serial killer tendencies. I am merely finding common aspects and placements in famous serial killers' charts to delve deeper into the reasons for their actions. As always, one aspect can be expressed in so many different ways. So, take everything with a grain of salt.

Subjects:

Ted Bundy 11/24/1946

Pedro Lopez 10/8/1948

John Wayne Gacy 3/17/1942

Harold Shipman 1/14/1946

Jeffrey Dahmer 5/21/1960

Charles Manson 11/12/1934

David Berkowitz 6/1/1953

Richard Ramirez 2/29/1960

Aileen Wuornos 2/29/1956

If we break down each person's chart by only personal planets, what sign comes up the most often?

Scorpio and Gemini are the signs that came up most frequently. Every serial killer in my list has Scorpio or Gemini in their charts except for Richard Ramirez and Aileen Wuornos.

Scorpio is not a big surprise since this is the sign ruled by Pluto. Death, taboo subjects, obsession, fascination with darker sides of life, control, and power are all very Scorpionic and Plutonian themes. Negative Scorpio traits include being vengeful, manipulative, aggressive, and insensitive. They have innate seductive energy that lures people in as well.

Gemini is a bit more surprising. However, Geminis are curious, clever, impulsive, moody, and good with words. They like to know private information about other people. They are also social creatures, so if they are lacking social connection, things can go south for them. Or, they can use their social skills to lure others to them. The duality of Geminis could go to the extremes; two different personalities in one.

The next most frequent sign is Aquarius. Richard Ramirez and Aileen Wuornos have Aquarius in their charts.

Not a huge surprise with Aquarius. Negative Aquarius energy could mean detachment from emotions, lack of empathy, extreme rebelliousness, pessimism, and coldness. They can be unpredictable and have a superiority complex as well.

The sign that did not appear at all among personal planets is Leo. Taurus and Cancer come in a close second with only one each.

By modality? Not much difference here, but Mutable signs are in the lead. Mutable (17), Fixed (14), Cardinal (13)

By element? Air and Water came up the most with 15 and 13 respectively. Fire and Earth tied at 8 each.

Most common aspect?

Neptune - Pluto (8/9)

This is a generational aspect so 8 out of the 9 have Neptune sextile Pluto, except for Charles Manson. This aspect lasts from the 1940s to the 2030s (Charles Manson was born earlier in 1934). Because this aspect includes such a wide range of people, it does not have a huge effect on our serial killer study. I also do not know their birth times, so I do not even know which houses Neptune and Pluto land in their charts.

Venus - Mars (7/9)

Venus-Mars aspects are typically seen as attractive aspects since they join the planet of love, beauty, and sensuality with the planet of action, physicality, and aggression. From a negative perspective, Venus-Mars can also mean a love for aggression, sexual frustration, and an imbalance between wanting to be accepted/acceptable and wanting to act out in self-interest. May want love and affection, but either in an unconventional way or a part of them fights against or feels uncomfortable with this desire. (Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer are the only two who do not have this aspect; Ted Bundy was known to be attractive to a lot of people and had a certain charm; he does has Venus square Pluto.)

Moon - Uranus (7/9)

Once again, because I do not know birth times, the Moon placements are not accurate. However, I still thought this might be good to look at since there are so many of them. Moon-Uranus gives an unpredictable and disruptive nature to emotions. Their emotional lives may feel unstable, and strong emotions may rise suddenly. They could be rebellious and may feel restless frequently; may desire to separate themselves from others. Childhood could have been unstable/unaffectionate, and these people could lack slow, routine comfort. (John Wayne Gacy and David Berkowitz are the only two who do not have this aspect; David Berkowitz does have Aquarius Moon, which is different from Moon-Uranus but could give a similar flavor)

Sun - Saturn (6/9)

There is self-restricting energy that comes with Sun-Saturn aspects. In a negative light, this aspect shows seriousness, self-denial, lacking a strong sense of self, insecurity, and taking yourself too seriously. This could also show that people deny the Sun-Saturn people their self-expression and acceptance. (Pedro Lopez, Jeffrey Dahmer, and David Berkowitz are the only three who do not have this aspect)

Mars - Neptune (6/9)

Mars-Neptune can be spiritual, elusive, sensitive, imaginative, and dependent. In the realm of serial killers, spirituality can be taken to the extreme; think cult activity, believing a higher power is making you do bad things, etc. (Charles Manson has Mars conjunct Neptune, and David Berkowitz has Mars trine Neptune.) Serial killers can blend in and play in the shadows too, which is Neptunian. They can also assume a different persona, act like a completely different person. Many of these killers were seen as sensitive, shy, and/or polite during the day or in childhood. They can be impressionable; could have been heavily affected by their childhood environments, and acted out physically by imitation or by lashing out. (Pedro Lopez, Harold Shipman, and Jeffrey Dahmer are the only three that do not have this aspect.)

The most aspected planets are in this order:

Saturn (47)

Neptune (46)

Pluto (46)

Moon (46; birth times not accurate)

Mars (44)

Jupiter (42)

Venus (37)

Chiron (36)

Uranus (35)

Mercury (34)

Sun (32)

North Node (21)

South Node (20)

Closing Thoughts

When it comes to serial killers, I see two trains of thought. There is an intense fight between two opposing sides in one person. There is also an extreme detachment from themselves and other people. Saturn is the most aspected planet among these 9 charts, which speaks volumes astrologically about what can push someone to that level of violence and anger. Control, denial, and detachment are huge themes. There is absolutely no excuse for these serial killers and what they did to their victims and the victims' families and loved ones. But it is important to know that most, if not all of them, were denied love and affection in childhood. They were controlled or neglected by authority figures, whether or not this was perceived or for real. And they developed the ability to detach from themselves and other people. They then exert control over their victims and literally deny them their lives. During the act, they detach from any societal morals and ethics and any part of themselves that could possibly say that they shouldn't go through with their violent thoughts.

When there is discomfort within one's self, it builds up and, over time, this pent-up frustration and anger has to come out somehow. This is oftentimes through aggression (Mars) that is ignited by strong emotions (Moon). Serial killers take this to another level (violence, violent emotions)

It is also interesting to see Jupiter within the top half of the list. Serial killers tend to have strong ideologies/principles about the world, people, and everything that is wrong with both. This can also show an urge to expand and inflict their ideologies onto other people.

This is my little "study" on some famous serial killers. Kind of creeping me out right now so...

Everyone, take care of yourselves and be safe!!!

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dolleminas · 1 year

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hi, my doctor has given me a tentative diagnosis of pcos and the only info I can find about it online that doesn't relate to getting pregnant is your Tumblr post. do you have any sources for the stuff about fatigue, vitamin D deficiency, etc being super common in pcos? cos I've dealt with those forever too. things are clicking into place but also with the way the NHS is I don't know if there's much point confirming the diagnosis (it's only diagnosed with transvaginal ultrasound :c) because the only treatment offered seems to be birth control and fertility treatment.

Good afternoon, nonny. Thanks for reaching out to me! And congratulations on getting a (albeit tentative) diagnosis. I know it might not seem positive, but now you know what you have and what can be done about it. At least, that is how I felt.

When I first made that post I never expected so many women to add their own experiences, talk of their their shock, their anger... or just admit that they had been diagnosed for years but that I somehow taught them things they never knew.

It's been an experience and a half. But I'm very glad that I can spread information and if that helps you, even better.

First of all, to diagnose PCOS, you need to fit 2/3 criteria of the Rotterdam concensus. Irregular periods, higher testosterone, and 12 or more follicles on your ovaries each. So, even without a hormone test you can usually tell whether someone has PCOS. Even so, I would still recommend asking for a hormone test if your health insurance covers it.

Sources

I tried looking up an English source for you since you mentioned NHS. Do keep in mind that women's healthcare is really not researched well and that there will be sources and information that will contradict one another. Here is one such article about the Rotterdam concensus.

As you can see they also mention the insulin resistance in this article, IBS, and fatigue, among other things.

Here is another one.

Here is some information about Insulin resistance in women with PCOS.

And here is some about depression.

You specifically asked for vitamin D so here is a study.

And another.

And one about fatigue.

I will however stress that these are all scientific sources and we all know that it can sometimes be biased, and again, not researched properly. My advice would always be to listen to women who have PCOS before listening to a medical source (no matter how professional it looks.)

My Own Experiences & Tips

I've not been diagnosed with PCOS long, but I have been quite thrown into studying it because it pissed me off interested me so much, and by researching (and reading a lot) here are some things that helped me, and I hope they can help you too.

Vitamin deficiencies are common in women with PCOS, especially Vitamin D. What I do is drink a glass of orange juice every morning with Vitamin D supplements. I take Solgar liquid vitamin drops, but depending on where you live they might have something of a different brand. Remember; take it during a meal.

Carbs make your sugar spike, so try to swap out some high-carb foods for lower carb. This way I have managed to lose weight, and this is often recommended for women with PCOS. And if you have a tendency for disordered eating, this will (generally) be easier than counting calories and going on a diet. After going low-carb my blood sugar level (which was high before) went down to regular levels and according to my doctor, I am now no longer immediately in danger of developing Diabetes Type 2.

Exercise! Especially weight-lifting, since it is mentioned it gives you more energy. Since starting myself, I have also noticed a difference. Here is a link for at home work-outs. Taking daily walks is also recommended for your exposure to sunlight and to help depression and anxiety.

Keep a diary of your symptoms. I have a word document with my own diary, so if anyone is interested I will be posting it. Just send me a message :)

Besides this, you do not need to go on birth control if you do not want to. My gynocologist said to me that once every three months you need to have your period. Women with PCOS can have a period 4 times a year, and that is enough! If you get your period less, then you can take progesteron pills for 7 days, and it will start your period. Again; you only need to use them for 7 days. You could do this four times a year and that would be all. Then again I am not a gynocologist so do talk about this with your doctor.

Another thing is that the fatigue could also very well be a side-effect of low vitamin D, B12, and low iron. My advice would be to get tested monthly if you can, and then try to balance your vitamins and see if this improves your fatigue.

And last but no least I recommend Meals She Eats. I made a post about it before, but even if you ignore everything else that is said (they are a bit woo-woo about organic foods and sugars) they still are very informative about the menstrual cycle. If for any reason you are unable to get your hands on the book do reach out to me in my DM's and I can help you.

If there is anything else I forgot I will reblog this and add more information, and I also will request others do too! The more we learn about PCOS and our cycle, the better.

I hope you have a nice day, anon. And I apologise if it took me a while to get to this ask!

#PCOS #asks #anon asks #honey writes #female reproductive health #female reproductive system

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sebdoeswords · 1 year

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It's unfair how you're trying to ban Vernonciri just because it's Ciri's ship with a "strange old man". although Vernon is not much older than Ves. According to this logic, Vesiri, Roche/Geralt and Regis/Geralt are also pedophilia, which you so vehemently oppose, but for some reason, only VernonCiri gets dirt for the age difference. Stop trying to throw mud at my ship and constantly provoke me with it.

Girlie, this is the first of four asks you've sent me in a row. Chill out.

Also I never called your ship pedophilia, but clearly you seem to associate it with that, so that says more about you than it does me.

Roche is at least 45 judging by his design. There is no age implication for Ves, but if we go by design again she looks to be around Ciri's age, maybe a few years older. Ciri is around 20 or 21 years old in tw3, since "A Question of Price" takes place in 1251, so Pavetta would've given birth in 1252 most likely.

A 20 year old, even though an adult, is in a completely different stage of life than a 45 year old. They worry about different things. They have different priorities. They have different levels of experience with how the world works. The way society is structured means that older people inherently have power over younger ones by virtue of having that extra experience and knowledge. So no, your ship is not pedophilia. But it's still creepy, and the age gap makes for a serious power imbalance.

The difference between VernonCiri, Geregis and Geroche is that one of those ship involves a very young character. Geralt and Roche, who in the latter two ships are the younger ones involved, are still middle aged or older adults. They are settled into adulthood and have done their part of learning the ways of the world, society, and life as a whole. They are not going to be easily swayed by power imbalances, because power imbalances are harder to come by the older characters are.

And no, none of these ships are pedophilia. They never were and never will be, and I never claimed that either. That quote you took from my bio is not, in fact, - as flattering to you as that may be - directed at you specifically, and I actually wrote that bio before i even knew you existed. It indicates that i do not condone shipping adult characters with minors (that's characters under 18, in case you needed a refresher), such as Pavetta and "Duny" (14/15 and over 30 respectively) or Book!Ciri (who is give or take also 14 or 15 at the time) with members of the Aen Elle like Avallac'h, Eredin or Auberon. They are several hundred, if not thousand years old, and she is a literal child. THAT is pedophilia. And THAT I oppose.

I don't care if pedophilia or age gaps are normal in the middle ages because I live in 2023, not the middle ages. I have 21st century morals, ethics and beliefs, and things that go against those will naturally rub me the wrong way. I am allowed to not want to engage with those things. I do not go out of my way to harass people who don't, either.

And yes, age gaps exist today too, but if you take one look at how people ridicule Leonardo DiCaprio for not dating women over 25 when he himself is 48, you'll see that I am not alone in finding these large age gaps weird.

I am not provoking you. I am not posting in your tag, I am not tagging you in posts about ships you don't like. You choose to seek these things out yourself. I am not throwing dirt at your ship. I simply don't like it. I don't like Geralt/Yen or Geralt/Jaskier either, but strangely enough no yenralt or geraskier shipper has ever appeared in my inbox complaining about it. Me not creating content for your ship is not "throwing dirt". I am allowed to dislike a ship for whatever reason, and it is not your business to try and convince me otherwise. I like Vesiri because i think they're cute. This has no influence on your ship. They exist independently from each other.

i don't care about your ship enough to try and ban it, and i don't know where you got the notion from that I was trying to do so. I don't care about your ship, I don't care about you, and it's frankly insulting how important you think yourself to believe that everything I do is to spite you, and not simply because I enjoy something independently of you.

Me and my friends are just trying to make content for a ship we like, and you're the one who constantly tries to interject your own ship in its stead. The two can coexist, I promise. Now please stop stalking the tag of a ship you clearly don't like and stop harassing people in DMs and asks. It's not doing you or your ship any favours.

#asks #marinakd29 #marinamk29 #discourse

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thebogmonster · 1 year

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ellie williams psych analysis part I: early childhood experiences & issues with attachment

i made a short post about how i view joel's mental health and psychology and some people seemed to enjoy my thoughts, so i am going to do a multi-part analysis of joel and ellie. i want to start with ellie because we know the most about her childhood (ofc)

The presentation that we see of Ellie in the HBO show is a very bright young girl who has been constantly thrown into incredibly disturbing circumstances since her literal birth. She is impulsive, resourceful, and fiercely independent despite having a deep need for connection. She is often violent and appears to hold a considerable amount of rage. We know she has experienced multiple traumatic events and due to the nature of her upbringing in FEDRA, and in the apocalypse in general, she carries an underlying current of tension.

Additionally, we know that Ellie's mother was under a significant amount of stress not only throughout her pregnancy, but immediately before, during, and after birth (the prenatal and perinatal environments). Thus, cortisol and other stress hormones were predominant in her body and nervous system. This imbalance of hormones and neurotransmitters will have effected Ellie.

There are a variety of implications that we can draw from this information about Ellie's perinatal environment. Ellie is likely going to have a slightly different brain structure and different hormonal and neurotransmitter levels than a normal infant. Of course, we can assume that for most babies born into the apocalypse. They are likely going to have issues regulating their emotions, and they'll be at risk for depression, anxiety, psychosis, aggressive behavior, and a general level of hypersensitivity. We can see where some of that applies to Ellie - she's been shown to have aggressive, anxious, and depressed sides.

Another important factor is the death of Ellie's mother. We know that that Ellie never had a stable adult in her life - she never formed a secure attachment with a caregiver. This is a form of socio-emotional neglect. The first selective attachment should form in early infancy, around 2-4 months. At this time, Ellie may have been in Marlene's care, although we know that Ellie is not aware of meeting Marlene until she was 13 or 14. This means that she was placed in the FEDRA boarding school very young. As an orphan in a FEDRA boarding school, she likely rotated through caregivers and was unable to form selective attachments. We know that she entered the Boston Quarantine Zone at 13 (according to comics), and she is introduced at age 14 in the main storyline. Thus, we can assume any attachments formed between 4mo to 14yrs were unstable and those that formed were ultimately disrupted. This suggests that Joel was her first long-term caregiver.

The best evidence we have of Ellie's lack of secure attachments is her own statement: "“Everyone I have cared for has either died or left me. Everyone - fucking except for you!” Joel is Ellie's first secure attachment to a caregiver, but also to anyone.

Two patterns may arise from those early childhood experiences of socio-emotional neglect and an inability to form secure caregiver attachments. The child may be withdrawn, not seeking comfort or not responding to comfort, and struggle with emotional disturbances; or incredibly outgoing and overly familiar with strange adults. Ellie likely falls into the first category. If we are taking a pathology-based approach, where we consider her response a traumatic disorder, we could say Ellie has Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). We can also see this as Ellie’s overarching trauma response.

Throughout the show, we see multiple examples of Ellie being emotionally withdrawn and not responding to comfort. In Episode 4, Joel attempts to provide comfort to Ellie after she shoots Bryan. Ellie does not engage with Joel's comfort, rather, what she responds to is being given a gun. We see that pattern again after she is traumatized by David.

The other part of this response to socio-emotional neglect and a lack of stable caregivers is emotional disturbances. For a diagnosis of RAD, at least two of the following is required: a lack of social and emotional responsiveness to others, limited experiences of positive emotion, and episodes of irritability/sadness/fear. Ellie does express social-emotional engagement with Riley and with Sam (and in adulthood, with Dina). Her pattern of social-emotional disengagement seems to be focused on caregivers or adults in general. However, Ellie does display some degree of limited positive affect - while she does express joy and humor, we also see that beneath that she carries a significant amount of fear, sadness, and survivor's guilt. Additionally, Ellie does display episodes of irritability in nonthreatening situations with adult caregivers. We have seen that she can be aggressive and easily angered. Additionally, she displays a preoccupation with violence (ie, her obsession with guns), she is argumentative, argumentative, distrustful, and seems to have some feelings of detachment or emptiness. Another interesting sign of this is a pattern of nonsense chit-chat and questioning of adults - something she does to Joel quite a bit.

Essentially, Ellie's early childhood experiences have set her up to struggle with attachments and relationships to others. It is might be hard for her to recognize and understand her emotions. She is going to be at risk for developing substance abuse issues or an eating disorder. Additionally, she is to really push for her independence at some point, which we see early int he second game.

I'm going to write a second part to this and focus on her response to acute trauma and her display of PTSD.

#the last of us #tlou #tlou hbo #tlou 1 #ellie williams #my ass over here writing a psych eval for a character #this is fun for me bc i have autism :)

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unproduciblesmackdown · 8 months

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spinning off of "winston being fantastically (literally fantastical (literally related to fantasy)) clairvoyant (he is also figuratively clear-sighted / figuratively preternaturally perceptive just like, in the show. which is where this all comes from. plus him calling himself cassandra, always seeing the future. he really has always / continued to be thusly) and taylor literally has a broadsword" type fun and games that are very loosey goosey b/c billions aus go spinning off into their own separate dimensions super easily when billions canon is so rooted in its specific Stage Settings of modern day US law n finance battles in the office, sidewalks, and eateries:

the thought of winston & tuk and winston gets to be a fairy. jokes, please. changelings are right there with the common theory of "was this to explain disabilities & go 'something could go Wrong and the baby's not a Person and get rid of that,' unlike nowadays where people do that but go 'b/c that baby's disabled'" and also one goes Thinking Emoji about how apparently New Mothers and New Brides were susceptible along with New Borns to become swapped out with a fairy and now something's wrong with them and get rid of that. had to be about Something given that people apparently did act on changeling lore and martin luther is taking a stance like yeah another thesis, it's important to kill them And okay to kill them b/c they don't even have a soul anyways. okay thanks martin luther....meanwhile also witchcraft and getting after anybody for that too. and fairies generally as Problems, the etymology going back to [fate], the range like "ooh hehe causing funny little inconveniences just because" to more so "yeah they could cause life-threatening illness for that" and "yeah they'll just kill you"....and i think fairy/fey as respective noun/adj re: being gay is of Unknown Origin, like "gay" also is. and you never know, if being fey is like, well something's not right and it's dangerous, whether this is the inspiration....though by the time this slang starts turning up, and even in the time of prior possible origins / the roots in other usages / potential inspirations, theoretical actual fairies are surely becoming more Fanciful, this being around like, the 18th century, rather than "here's martin luther telling you to immolate! that! baby!"

but that like, you can have it all ways out here. the Always Small fairies i think being a later kind of victorian deal, rather than "fairies are shapeshifters & can become animals e.g. & May have a 'tiny little inches or millimeters high mode' but that's just a mode & the fact that generally though they just look like people, maybe with some stylistic variations and tells, means watch out" and i think wings came up ever, across yknow the various centuries and regions of folklore out here lmao and possible origins / influences yet further across time & regions & cultures, but again "always small and always winged" being a very relatively modern victorian deal. but we can draw on that to be sure when, additionally, a Potential mutual [would prefer to avoid] between fairies and humans (as opposed to "if your house or some shit is on a fairy path bestie just build them another door to walk straight through cuz they're Gonna") becomes "no, fairies mostly avoid humans more than the other way around" type of imbalance of any threat means like, well hey sure, the Real Self could then become a tiny little magical guy having fun with wing designs who is shy and elusive but maybe another fun little guy can accidentally become aware but then have a secret little hidden friendship hmm....

but then also just thinking of the version where you just look exactly like everyone else and live amongst them, changeling style. and potentially don't Know you're different, or at least not Why, b/c this is a "from birth" thing like hmmm ya don't say. and the whole thread where in some folklore fairies Aren't nonhuman, the difference is only about the separate fairy Realm you live in, which is different, with like "yeah sometimes fairies come from people who died." and alongside / overlapping with everything like "yeah you could disappear for a few days to that realm and then be like 'don't wanna / can't talk about it'" and whatever all various like "watch out for the liminal and unknowingly wandering or being taken into the fairy world and Then watch out for communing with them b/c then you could be Permanently affected, or permanently continually affected or vulnerable, or just stuck there. and we wouldn't want that" like well don't let them know your name but maybe try to find out their names b/c you can get at them in turn that way, don't get in on any food, don't get in on any parties. though variations, sometimes people getting whisked away for particular tasks that apparently Only humans can do. or forever potential for helpful / sympathetic fairy interventions in life. like fairies raising humans b/c their human parents were awful

also, that some classic Tests for "is your baby a changeling?" were very like, "well i guess if we drowned or burned that person and they just died about it....our bad," in the way that like apparently the way to go could be "put them in the fire. where they'll either burn or fly out the chimney." or "start going tf beating them with objects. so that they go away" like and they never stop beating winston with hammers out here!! or the classic "idk abandon them in the forest so fairies can take them back" like well they do also like [i prefer to pretend winston doesn't exist / forget that he does] lmao. this isn't really related. just the ol "ballpeen hammers kind of goated when it comes to putting someone in a sack and beating them to death" factor out here for your local changelings

also sure thinking of like ohh watch out for winston and his gayass Realm he exists in which is wrong and not of our own and potentially will forever change you with its gayass ways. uh oh don't get corrupted into a whole other powerful magical mode of existence if you commune with him in some deep fundamental nourishing ways. oh nooo watch ouuuut....one of the "you might be a changeling if" moments being "when they think they're alone do they act up?? dance??" like yeah i'm stimming and bursting into motion and making noises and existing wrong when i think i'm alone. Old Souls (theory as well that newborn changelings were secretly elderly fairies)....existence in the Fey Realm just making you different and out of place huh. and it would just be a guy though like either [undetectable except by already trying to kill them] and/or [actually just a human, fairies are just humans, fairies b/c they're in/from the fairy realm] but uh oh don't let him corrupt you. don't go hanging out with him and talking with him and partaking in his activities and embracing his ways. you'll be changed. you'll never fit in around here and be able to do things right ever again. we'll have to start beating you with hammers. and all for what. your weird gayass little guy and a whole possible other dimension of existence? vs all This? smh

#that fey little mf. all the same glasses hoodies cargo pants winston....#winston billions #you can't go wrong. sort of semi fantastical au. or just modern day ''fairies can even be in your hedge fund office'' magical realism #not even like there's clear Powers lol like what do fairies do? well bit fuzzy on that but one things for sure:#cause problems for US!!!! like wow the way symptoms & definitions of disabilities are approached much?#you might be a fairy if....ouch i'm dead of unclear causes in 1337. Not very 1337....#winston is truly always causing problems. also learned that ''oaf'' (another word i've recently thought like ''i would just not say that''#b/c for some reason the nyt i believe described orville wingate as [still an(?)] Oaf & i was like a) huh b) excuse me) derives from fairy #as it was a term for a changeling specifically :I which juuust so happens to lead to connotations of Stupidity(tm) & Clumsiness(tm)#hmm! you do not say it!#what could changeling winston do? up for grabs. but the point is: change(ling) your life. and other fun things :)#also i think another potential fairy ability was: seeing the future as well lol. it's all coming together #seeing winston with fun bird wings b/c you've communed with him ''too much'' already. not an angel thing. a fairy thing #(sidebar abt how some Lore was that they Are an angel thing. see: influence from whole other traditions lol)#winston Becoming a bird b/c he can do things like that b/c fairies are shapeshifters. he's a pigeon =) you have a nest for him =) cooing #another parallel like ''definitely don't fuck him or you're locked in to his gay autistic realm for sure''#just like how as a theoretically real world autistic person everyone just knows winston isn't allowed to have sex #nowadays how ridiculous to imagine going: we think someone is weird & dislike their vibes; they shouldn't exist. we should ostracize them #we would never be like; some corruption has caused your child to exist wrong. basically taking your Real child away from you #or when they do tragically exist that they should be driven away to any possible extent up to ''just kill them :( sorry for You btw''#with the Possibility fairies could give you your Real Human Child back....#autistic kid? number one recommendation totally isn't ''put them in specialized abuse school where we try to banish the autism for you''

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dickgraysonexchange · 2 years

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Here we are on our final day of treat releases—give it up for all the talented folks who went above and beyond!

Don’t forget to kudos and comment on your gift to show your giftor some love, and stay tuned for Creator Reveals on July 10th!

STRAWBERRY MILKSHAKES for LARIIMAAR [Fic, Teen And Up Audiences, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply]

Dick/Barbara Gordon, Dick & Bruce Wayne

Past Rape/Non-con, Rape Recovery, Family Dynamics, Laundry, Triggers, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD

Bruce takes Nightwing to Barbara when he is triggered in the field.

THE WAY I TEND TO BE for SUNCEREAL_BOI05 [Fic, Explicit, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings]

Dick/Koriand'r, Dick/Slade Wilson

Asexual Dick Graysonm Sex-Repulsed Dick Grayson, Consent Issues, Extremely Dubious Consent, Emotional Manipulation, Manipulative Slade Wilson, Hurt Dick Grayson, Blow Jobs, Vaginal Sex, Riding, Dick Grayson Has Issues, Issue #1 goes by the name Slade Wilson, Hurt No Comfort

Dick doesn't like sex. But Kori does, and Slade taught him long ago how you're supposed to act in a relationship.

TO FULFILL YOUR DREAMS for HEIZLE [Fic, Explicit, No Archive Warnings Apply]

Dick/Slade Wilson, Dick/Clark Kent, Dick/Slade Wilson/Clark Kent

Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Dick Grayson, Alpha Slade Wilson, Alpha Clark Kent, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Knotting, Double Penetration in One Hole, Oral Sex, Nipple Play, Overstimulation

Two Alphas couldn't birth a child, thankfully they could hire an Omega for it.

STONES HITTING GLASS WALLS for NIGHTWANG [Fic, Explicit, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings]

Dick/Bruce Wayne, Dick & Batfamily

Power Imbalance, Unhealthy Relationships, Secret Relationship, Grooming, Gaslighting, Parent/Child Incest, Dubious Consent, Emotional Manipulation, Dark Bruce Wayne, Protective Batfamily (DCU), Protective Clark Kent, Past Underage, Past Child Abuse, Angst, Hurt Dick Grayson, Hurt/Comfort

Tim stumbles across some files on the batcave he really wasn't supposed to see.

Photos involving Bruce and Dick.

PEACHES AND CREAM for RAWRBIN [Fic, Explicit, No Archive Warnings Apply]

Tim Drake/Dick

Anal Fingering, Awkward Sexual Situations, Mildly Dubious Consent, Coming Untouched, Bottom Dick Grayson

Dick finds himself in a rather awkward situation. He needs help, and Tim’s just the man for the job.

SEX PET for FREAKEDELIC [Fic, Explicit, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings]

Dick/Slade Wilson, Dick/Adeline Kane Wilson/Slade Wilson, Dick/Grant Wilson/Joseph Wilson, Dick/Rose Wilson/Slade Wilson, Dick/Rose Wilson

Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Dick Grayson, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Knotting, Spitroasting, Sounding, Scissoring, Incest, Sexual Slavery, Intersex Omega

Robin is the Wilson's sex pet.

BREATHE AGAIN for AURORAKANT [Fic, Teen And Up Audiences, No Archive Warnings Apply]

Batfamily Members & Dick

Memory Magic, Memory Alteration, Magic, Dick Grayson Feels, Dick Grayson Has Eldest Daughter Syndrome, Complicated Relationships, Childhood Trauma, Guilt, Angst, Freedom, World Travel, Minor Violence, Identity Porn, BAMF Dick Grayson, Dick takes care of himself for once

Dick faces the consequences of pissing off a powerful mage when in the middle of a battle they cast a spell that wipes him from the memories of everyone in his life.

At first, that's utterly devastating. And then it's...not.

WITH THE LIGHTS ON for FLEETSPARROW [Fic, Explicit, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings]

Dick/Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne

Mistaken Identity, Identity Porn, Identity Reveal, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Threesome - F/M/M, Anal Sex, Bottom Dick Grayson, Past Underage Sex, Misunderstandings, Cunnilingus

Clear communication has never been their forte. Somebody should have told Selina that Dick isn’t a kid anymore.

VEGAS for RAWRBIN [Fic, Explicit, No Archive Warnings Apply]

Dick/Slade Wilson, Dick/Bruce Wayne, Dick/Bruce Wayne/Slade Wilson

Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Anal Sex, Anal Play, Anal Beads, Sex Toys, Sounding, Threesome - M/M/M, Oral Sex, Edgeplay, Come Marking, Crying, Begging, Daddy Kink

Dick had two boyfriends, and he wanted them to get along.

HOW THEY DIDN’T KNOW? for NYXKVISTAD [Fic, General Audiences, No Archive Warnings Apply]

Dick/Bruce Wayne, Talia al Ghul & Dick & Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne

Idiots in Love, Public Display of Affection, Good Parent Talia al Ghul

Damian asked Talia to attend an artshow he was going to be at, seeing how Bruce and Richard acted around the other, lost in the other's eyes, enamoured, she could understand him.

YOUR FINGERS SNARED IN MY VEINS for SCARLETTESWORDMOON [Fic, Explicit, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Rape/Non-Con]

Dick/Thomas Wayne Jr., Dick/Jason Todd

Stockholm Syndrome, Lima Syndrome, Possessive Sex, Codependency, Manipulation, Mind Games, Daddy Kink, Bottom Dick Grayson, Moral Dilemmas, Rape/Non-con Elements, Blood and Violence, Angst with a Happy Ending

Rather than a chokehold, it becomes more of a…caress, with his fingers splayed out possessively over the side of Dick’s neck and his thumb brushing over his cheek. “Haven’t I told you to forget that life already, Richard? What will it take for you to give in? They’ve given up on finding you by now. You’re mine.” Dick shuts his eyes. Thomas’ thumb is oddly warm — calloused, and just a little scratchy, but not unpleasantly so. Dick doesn’t remember when he took off the gauntlets. “I won’t,” he whispers.

WITH A HONEY IN THE MIDDLE, THERE’S SOME LEEWAY for MIAJACKSWILD [Fic, Explicit, No Archive Warnings Apply]

Dick/Joseph Wilson/Rose Wilson

Dick Grayson Exchange 2022, Threesome - F/M/M, Anal Sex, Cunnilingus, Bottom Dick Grayson, Incest, kind of, It’s not incest if it’s in a 3-way

‘“Come on,” Rose says. “It’s totally not weird if Dick’s in the middle.”’

Or Dick gets some Wilson loving.

I WILL GO TO THE END OF THE WORLD FOR YOU for SHARPBLUEJAY [Fic, Explicit, No Archive Warnings Apply]

Dick/Slade Wilson

Case Fic, Kissing, Oral Sex, Hand Jobs, Semi-Public Sex, Secret Relationship, BAMF Dick Grayson, Proud Slade Wilson

Dick needs Slade's help, Slade can't say no.

TIPTOE for WITHTHEKEYISKING [Fic, Teen And Up Audiences, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings]

Dick/Eddie Hwang

Alternate Universe - Ballet, Ballet Dancer Dick Grayson, Dance Instructor Eddie Hwang, Teacher-Student Relationship, Flexibility, Grinding, Power Imbalance, Manipulation, Frottage, No Sex, Dick Grayson Has Self-Esteem Issues

Dick receives a private lesson from Eddie, and walks away feeling more naïve than when he'd walked in.

I’LL SHOW YOU EVERY VERSION OF YOURSELF for WITHTHEKEYISKING [Art, Rating, Warning]

Dick/Eddie Hwang

Art, Alternate Universe - Ballet

Eddie Hwang is a ballet teacher and he’s just helping his student Dick Grayson get the stretches correct.

Art based off withthekeyisking’s prompts for the dick Grayson exchange 2022

#dickgraysonexchange #dickgraysonexchange2022 #gift reveals #treats #dick grayson

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petite-ursus · 1 year

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I’m trying birth control for the first time. My pmdd has reached a really dangerous point as I can’t get my footing as every month any kind of stability before my progesterone freaks out and I’m right back to sobbing.

I shared a lot of fun things from over the weekend, but the truth is that I was only out doing fun things because it literally was not safe for me to be in the house by myself. I was in a major, dangerous depressive episode. I went home early from work Thursday because I could not function. I was under my desk sleeping. I cried the entire weekend. I cried through a dentist appointment, and then the gyno appointment, and then I came home and my girlfriend wanted to go to a concert and she had no intention of staying home, so I went with her to cry at the concert. It took literally all of my will power not to break no-contact. I had a message drafted and I deleted it, because I promised myself that if I ever did break no-contact I would break it to share something good. But, it was hard.

And I am so tired. I’ve screamed about this in some tags previously... but it makes me... so angry... taking care of this at 30 years old when my doctor thought I had it at 13, and didn’t explain properly what it really meant, either because he didn’t know, or he assumed I would just guess.

My doctor told me at 13, when I came in complaining that I had excruciating period pains that caused me to puke, that the pain was likely from pmdd. The pain could be treated with an extra pain pill. Job done, we never mentioned it again. That same year I have a formative memory of being so... sad... I was at my 13th birthday and the wish I made to myself (when I blew out the candles and everyone clapped) was to die.

Certainly, there is an aspect of that which was probably normal preteen drama. But. I spent SEVENTEEN YEARS studying and researching all kinds of memoirs/symptoms/coping skills, for bpd, bipolar disorder, anxiety, depression... And it... was probably this, all along. And I never connected those feelings of paranoia level anxiety and subsequent depression (as being that anxious is exhausting) because he said pmdd was the pain I was experiencing. He said that was all I needed to know about it. There had to be another explanation for the fucking insanity.

And he could have just. Told me. He fucked. My. Life.

I’m not being dramatic. My therapist was literally horrified that he diagnosed me with that and did not recommend a psychiatric followup along with it.

I think of the relationships that could have gone differently. I think of years of trying to mindfulness and trying to positive think my way out of a literal hormone imbalance. I want. To scream.

And I’m legitimately frightened of what birth control will do to me and my body, because I’ve heard such horror stories... but it legitimately can’t be worse at this point. I haven’t even been able to crossfit consistently in two months because I literally can’t take the stress of it. I’ve been doing daily yoga and a max of one crossfit a week. It just. Fucking blows. It blows. I’m angry. And I’m tired.

#personal #anyway...#if the two weeks before your period #you feel extreme mood swings #suicidal ideations #paranoia #... you may just have #pmdd #and it's NOT normal #and it WILL fuck up your life

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turtletaubwrites · 3 months

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Bend Until You Break ~ Part 5

Thank you so much for this request from the lovely @anemptypuddingcup !!🖤 ✨This is the second to last part, the conclusion will be posted tomorrow!✨

Pairings: YANDERE!Trafalgar Law x Fem!Reader

Bend Until You Break ~ Masterlist

Word Count: 2974

Ao3 Link

Summary: Your doctor takes care of your needs, and you find out just how much he’s done for you.

Rating/Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content, 18+ ONLY, MDNI, AFAB!Reader, She/Her Pronouns for Reader, Reader-Insert, DARK CONTENT, DUBCON, Dubious Consent, Swearing, Eventual Smut, Yandere, Manipulation, Power Imbalance, Hypermobility, Medical Examination, Medical Trauma, Medical Conditions, Chronic Pain, Injury, Physical Disability, Physical Therapy, Doctor/Patient, Abuse of Authority, Kidnapping, Possessive Behavior, Other Additional Tags to be Added, (Reader is described as having hair "above her shoulders" that she can brush), Needles, Drugs, Arguing, Massage, Praise Kink, Pain, Dissociation, Humiliation, Gaslighting, Non-Consensual Drug Use, (Implied), Birth Control, Menstruation, Discussion of Pregnancy, Brief/Implied Discussion of Sterilization Surgery, Teasing, Dom Trafalgar D. Water Law, Hand & Finger Kink, Blood, Dacryphilia, Vaginal Fingering, Penis in Vagina Sex, Unprotected Sex, (Be Safe Out There), Multiple Orgasms, Rough Sex, Creampie, Pet Names

A/N: I am unwell in more ways than one. Some of these medical issues may or may not have come from personal experience 🙃

Extra A/N: I am not a doctor, and this is not meant to be educational, or to contain any health advice. Please seek a health professional.

Aching need twisted within you, so intense it hurt. You had nearly screamed when those words left his lips.

‘Good girl.’

“Look at you,” he purred, not even touching you as you writhed for him. “Did you like that, Y/N? You wanna be my good girl?”

“Fuuckk, please…”

“You’re begging so well, but I need to hear you say it now. Tell me what you want.”

Law’s voice got sharp, and you managed to plead through quivering lips.

“Touch me. Make me come, please Law...”

“Is this where you want me? Oh, wow,” he breathed as he trailed his hand from your thigh to your clothed cunt, his tattooed fingers already slipping across the soaked fabric.

“You really have been neglecting your body, haven’t you,” he rasped, that hint of danger in his words again. “After all the work we’ve done to keep your body relaxed. It seems like you need some support, huh? Need your doctor to guide you, teach you how to take care of yourself?”

He rubbed those fingers over your clit, the drenched fabric only adding to the friction. He let out a dark chuckle as he pressed harder, faster.

“Gonna come so soon? Since you’ve neglected yourself for so long, I think we’d better make up for it,” he scolded, his head tilting as he assessed you. “I wonder how many times you can come in one night?”

This was the first.

You screamed his name as he tore you apart, the pleasure only making you ache for more.

“You did so well,” he praised as he pulled the clothes off of your limp body. “Mm, and you’re so relaxed for me. Remember, Y/N. We can only make progress if you’re relaxed. You want to make progress, right? You want to be as healthy as you can be?”

Your whimpered ‘yes’ was rewarded with the letters ‘E,’ and ‘A’ in your mouth once again, letting you taste your own pleasure on his fingers.

“I know you love it when I touch you,” he said, his voice gone heavy with what sounded like need.

You needed it to be need. You needed him to want you too. But for now you’d just let him take care of you.

“I know you love it when I work my fingers over every muscle. I hear you try to keep in your cute little moans. I wonder how many hours you’ve spent imagining my fingers fucking you deep, giving you what you need.”

Fuck. His voice again. How can his voice fuck me up so much?

Law touched you again, wetting his fingers along your folds, playing with your clit without the fabric now, your back arching off the mat.

“Beg me to fuck you with my fingers.”

“Pleasepleasefuck please fuck me with your fingers, Law, plea–”

Gods, those long fingers.

You had never heard the sound you made before as he shoved your favorite things in the world into your needy pussy. Your body thrashed as he laughed softly, thrusting in and out, then curling up. He found that spot instantly, as if he’d explored your body before, seared it into his memory so that he could fulfill your every need.

“Law, feels so…”

“Good girl, tell me how I make you feel. Is this what your body needed?”

Practically sobbing as he brought his other hand to your clit, you tried to follow his instructions.

“Law, you make me feel so good, so… I need you, need your hands so bad.”

“Come for me now.”

You couldn't tell if he had felt you coming before you did, or if his command had made it so.

Either way, you broke into pieces, his praise almost lost in the crash of pleasure through your body. He didn’t let up as you twitched and whimpered.

“Is this all you needed, Y/N,” he asked, his voice soft even as his fingers went rough. “Remember, it’s important to listen to your body, give it what it wants. All you have to do is tell me.”

Desperate tears fell from your eyes, but Law’s hands were too busy to dry them this time.

Can I ask? Will it ruin everything? Should I stop here?

You couldn’t. You had to listen to your body, give it what it wants.

“I want you to fuck me, Law. Please let me fee–”

He ate your moan as he claimed your mouth. The frantic kiss overwhelmed you as he held your face, your neck, his wet fingers so gentle where his mouth was not.

You swore you tasted a whimper on his lips before he ripped himself away, stripping, tossing his clothes aside.

You leaned up on your elbows, your lips falling open as you laid eyes on his toned body, his trailing tattoos across so much of his skin, and his thick, leaking cock, just waiting to sink into you.

“Lie back down,” he ordered, and you dropped your head back to the mat. He crawled over you, caging you in like he had earlier, and your body twisted with need again.

“Do I have your consent to touch you,” he smirked, that pretty, black hair falling around his face again.

“Yes, please.”

Law rubbed his cock through your folds, teasing over and over your clit until you were crying and begging for him again.

“So wet for me,” he rasped, before lifting a hand to wipe your tears, as he’d done countless times before.

“You’re so beautiful when you cry.”

He thrust into you then, hilting himself without giving you a chance to adjust, then holding there inside you. He filled you completely, and more tears fell while you moaned in pleasure and pain.

“Don’t worry, baby. You trust me, right? I’ll give you what you need.”

He did. Law started a rhythm inside you, easing that initial force while he kissed your tears away.

“Your body is perfect for me, Y/N,” he said, breathing heavy as he built up that rhythm, fucking you harder, deeper. “You’re so soft, so sweet. Your pretty cunt is sucking me in like it was made for me. I’m so proud of you.”

Coming on his cock was the most pleasure you could ever remember, pulsing and gushing around him, digging your nails into that tattooed back.

“Fuck, you’re so good for me, Y/N. Tight little pussy squeezes my cock so well, baby. Don’t you dare fucking stop.”

Words were no longer possible, just his name, just screaming his name as he brought a hand down. That thumb carved with ‘D’ attacked your clit as he fucked you faster, sliding over that sweet spot inside you with every brutal thrust.

“That’s right, pretty. Your body listens to me. I know what you need. You need to keep coming, right now. Be a good girl, milk the come out of my cock for me. There you go, good little cunt for me– fuuckk, yes…”

Your eyes were at the back of your head, animalistic sounds leaving you both until he shoved his tongue down your throat again.

It felt like he was invading you, tearing your body apart so that he could live inside, staking a claim on the twitching land beneath him.

And you wanted it. You wanted this man to have you, to take you. As long as he never stopped touching you, you wanted to let him take it all.

Law groaned your name against your lips as he spilled himself in you, filling you with the hot need of him, making you cry out again as your body drank him in.

The twitching continued, but he kept himself inside, leaving more soft kisses along your face, drinking the last of your salty tears. Your body was weak, limp, useless under his strong form.

He pulled back just enough to trap you in his stone eyes again. Those eyes that looked hurt, almost scared.

“You need me. Don’t you, baby? You need me to take care of you?”

Nothing came from your lips until you cleared your throat, your voice hoarse from screaming his name.

“I need you. I’ll always need you.”

A soft kiss. A dangerous voice.

“You know you’re mine now, right? I’ll give you everything you need.”

“Yours,” you asked, a sick hope pulsing in your heart.

“Mine,” he growled, making you cry out again as he started to fuck his come into you. “You want it, huh? You want to be mine, so I can take care of my good girl? You want to stay with me?”

Your eyes were rolling back from the wet, sloppy feeling of his come-soaked cock shoving into you.

“I’m already yours, Law. I’m your– Ow.”

It wasn’t that bad, but the towels had slid away from supporting your hips. Your thighs fell to the sides stretching further than they should.

Law pulled out of you, leaving you empty and gasping as he held your thighs in a better position.

“Are you alright,” he checked in, his doctor voice almost jarring as it returned.

“I’m okay.”

“Good,” he teased, looking between your legs with a satisfied smile. “Because you’re leaving a pretty mess all over the mat.”

I’m in a dream.

That large bed. Those tattooed arms wrapped around you. The steady, soothing beat of his heart.

He had handled you with all that tender care you’d come to trust in. But now when those hands touched, and cleaned, and massaged you, his lips would meet your skin, and his voice would gift you with even more praise than before.

‘My perfect girl.’

‘You deserve everything, Y/N. I’ll take care of you.’

‘So beautiful. So soft…’

By the time he’d laid you on his bed, you were overcome by the weight of it all, everything he’d done and promised. Gratitude flooded you until all you would do was weep softly while you clung to him.

“Th-Thank you…”

Law held your face, gently kissing your tears away once more before letting you taste the salt of them on your own lips.

“I’ll always save you, Y/N. You’ll never suffer alone again.”

He pulled you to him, your body weak and almost buzzing as he held you.

You matched your breathing to his, the comforting beat of his heart pulling you down into sleep.

Smells good. Smells like Law…

A contented hum left you as you stretched across his bed.

You stretched further.

“Law,” you mumbled, clearing your throat to speak louder as you sat up in the empty bed.

He wasn’t in the room with you.

A sick feeling hit your gut, and you fought off the panic.

He probably just got called out for something. It doesn’t mean anything. He still…

All your explanations and calming thoughts didn’t cut the fact that it hurt. After all that happened, he wasn’t here.

He’s a captain. He can’t be here with me all the time. He’s a doctor too, someone might have needed him.

You didn’t want to put your clothes on. It felt too much like starting the day without him, so you yanked off the sheet, twisting it around yourself as you looked around.

Maybe he’s in his office.

An almost giddy feeling filled you as you crept toward that door. You hadn’t seen his office yet, and imagining him sitting at a desk with that oh so serious look on his face made you grin.

The metal door was heavy, but your wrist was doing well lately, so you opened it, just a crack.

“Law,” you called quietly, not wanting to interrupt anything important.

Nothing.

“Is that…”

A magnetic force pulled you inside, the sheet dragging along the floor as you held it to you. Finding yourself behind a heavy wooden desk, you took in the sight of every piece of paper, every item on it, perfectly in place.

Except for one.

“How is this here,” you whispered, picking up the framed picture of you. It was from a day trip a few years ago, and you remembered smiling for the photo. You remembered how just a few hours later you were crying as your feet, and knees, and hips ached so badly from all the walking that you couldn’t find a comfortable position to sit or lie down in.

Relief flooded you that you’d never have to feel that lonely again.

Until you snapped back to the present.

This was your frame. From your house.

Fear rose quietly, rolling slowly from your core, your chest, rising up your throat.

It’s fine. I’m fine. There’s gotta be…

Your eyes lifted to the rest of the room, the frame forgotten in your grasp as you were drawn to a shelf across the office.

“My favorite books,” you observed, that fuzzy distance dampening all your senses.

These aren’t just my favorites. These are mine.

One of the books had a stain along the cover, and the bottom of the spine. You’d had it for years. It was well loved, and you'd always planned on buying a nicer copy of it. A mystery with a charming villain, one that you almost wanted to root for.

That's why you’d read it so many times. You knew everything he’d done was wrong. But he made it all so believable, so compelling, even after reading it again and again.

A surge of fear crashed through you, and that picture that shouldn't be here fell from your grip as you jolted. Glass shattered across your bare feet, but you couldn’t move, could only tremble in this metal room.

This metal room that was smaller than it was before.

A useless urge to call for help brought sick, frantic laughter from your throat.

No one can help me. It’s only him.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry. They needed–”

Like a pathetic, helpless animal, you froze at the sound of his voice in his quarters. Unmoving, unbreathing, your wide eyes waited for him to find you.

His steps were silent as he walked through the open door. Those stone cold eyes scanned the room before he lunged toward you.

“Y/N, your feet,” he warned, the concern in his voice making you sick.

“Don’t touch me,” you cried out, gasping with pain as you slid your feet through the glass to get away from him.

“You’re hurt, Y/N. Please let me help you.”

His voice. You wanted to listen, that saccharine command disguised as a request.

“Why do you have my things?”

You started to gesture, but pulled your hands back to your chest. The sheet draped around your naked body sent a new spike of fear into your gut, and you trailed more blood across the floor as you backed away.

“Hey, it’s alright,” he soothed, staying low, with those tattooed arms held wide. “Just let me help you, and I’ll explain everything, okay?”

“Why do you have my things?”

Your voice was low and shaking, but he nodded.

“When I knew we’d be bringing you with us,” he said calmly, talking you off the ledge, “I wanted to make sure you'd be comfortable. I have more too, I took everything you’d need.”

Breathing was impossible while you fought his voice, fought to think on your own without his guiding hand.

“I’m so sorry, I should have told you sooner,” he looked down, nodding slightly before lifting those deep, guilty eyes to yours. “You’ve just been making such good progress. I was afraid that any reminder of that trauma, of the way you were treated there, might set you back.”

Gods, you wanted to believe him. You wanted to let it go and fall into his arms.

But guilt filled you, tearing more questions from your lips.

“How did you get these out of my house,” you accused, your anger overpowering your fear, your sense of safety.

“Did you hurt him? What did you do to him?”

Law’s lip showed just a hint of a snarl before his steady doctor face returned, and you whimpered as you backed up against the wall.

“Why do you care about him, Y/N? You remember how he treated you? How he let you suffer in silence? He didn’t bel–”

“Answer me!”

All he did was stand up straight, but it made you gasp.

“I would never do anything to hurt you, Y/N,” Law promised. “He’s fine, I didn’t hurt him.”

“How can I believe you,” you choked out, shivering from the scrape of the metal wall against your bare shoulders.

“I can prove it, okay? Please, let me show you.”

He walked backward toward the desk, keeping his hands up for you to see. Stepping behind the desk, he pulled a poster of Sora from the wall to reveal a safe.

“I didn’t hurt him, I promise. You know you can trust me, baby.”

The safe opened wide, and you spotted a few shelves with labels under rows of strange pinkish cubes. Law grabbed one, snagging the label with it before he went to his knees in front of you, but not too close.

“I didn’t hurt him, Y/N,” he confessed, that thick voice heavy with emotion. “But I did take this for you, in case you ever wanted to hurt him yourself.”

Those strong arms, those dangerous fingers, stretched out to show you the label with your boyfriend's name scrawled in Law’s rough handwriting.

He held out the cube, and you knew you shouldn’t take it. Shouldn't touch it.

But something about it was hypnotizing, you couldn’t figure out what it was.

Law placed it gently in your palm, and you could feel his eyes scraping against your skin as you focused.

It looked like a heart. A human heart. A shudder ran through your body.

Then a scream.

It had pulsed.

The heart you held in your hand was beating.

Likes and reblogs bring me much ✨dopamine✨ thank you so much!

a/n: How are y’all doing? Hope you’re ready for the conclusion tomorrow! 🥰

Part 6 ~ End

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afromediterraneanmenace · 6 months

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Homi Bhabha, in “Of Mimicry and Man: The Ambivalence of Colonial Discourse” theorizes mimicry occurs when people of a colonialized society imitate and take on the culture of the colonizer. This mimicry is imperfect, forming the gap between the colonizer and colonized. With this gap comes subversion, resistance—and anxiety for the colonizer. In this way, it can be seen as form of Cultural Cannibalism, the colonizer imposing upon the colonized, leading to erasure, distortion.

Cultural Cannibalism is the process and act of a dominant culture appropriates, absorbs, and assimilates elements from a subordinated, or colonized culture, often erasing the original context and significance of these elements. They can involve aspects such as language, traditions, clothing, cuisine, music, and other forms of cultural expression.

In a conversation with lovely friend Dean, a Central Asian artist, I used the coined the term to describe white Russians wearing the cultures of the ethnic groups they’ve colonized (and terrorized). I replied, “It feels like a form of Cultural Cannibalism to which they replied, “Cultural Cannibalism, that’s like, the perfect word for it.”. Cultural Cannibalism is a metaphor that emphasizes the predatory and destructive nature of this form of cultural appropriation. A dominant culture consumes, feasts traits of the marginalized culture. Cannibals, consuming other human beings.

During Cultural Cannibalism, the dominant culture often reinterprets and redefines the appropriate elements to create its own colonized chimera. This leads to the erasure of a culture’s meanings, and the marginalization of the colonized people. These further perpetuate power imbalances, contributing to the continuation of colonial ties, even after formal political decolonization.

As my Habibi, my heart, Saif a Palestinian artist, says, For Israelis in Particular, “Will claim aspects of Southwestern Asian and North African Cultures and wear it like a skin suit to further prop up their fictionalized indigeneity.” As if hoping it will become fact. As fetuses, we fight and tear away from your mother’s womb, we fight to be created. Humanity is terrifying.

Humans do horrific things, they cannibalize one another.

Unlike the birth of children, the birth of Israel is like that of a parasite, consuming its indigenous host.

The Host, being Palestine, a nation known as the Holy Land.

Israeli colonization began in the late 19th century, and with it emerged the Zionist movement. Seeking to establish a colonial homeland in Palestine, leading to the holocaust, Nakba, and the established apartheid State of Israel in 1948. The cultural cannibalism in Israel can be found even housing, the demolition, or seizures of Palestinian homes. This bloodshed led to the displacement of Palestinian people and the appropriation of their lands and resources.

For the past 70+ years, Israel has terrorized and tortured Palestinian people. They’ve been committing crimes since my grandparents were alive. Sex Crimes against men, women, and children—the persecution and murders of gay Palestinians. Even the recent even that have gone for over 40 days, the world has seen bombing of ancient Palestinian buildings, places of worship. Families wiped out. Men, women, and children trapped under rubble. Human beings you see one minute, murdered the next. Others imprisoned, detained, humiliated, starved—put in jail without of trails—although, Israeli officials will tell it’s all, alleged. Israeli and the UN love using that word, alleged, that the word should be used with caution.

But if not a genocide, then what is it?

It is a crime again humanity if you do not see those people as humans.

Perhaps, they become beasts they mimic.

“That’s why Palestinians are considered the cockroaches of the world,” a Florida lawyer, Bruce Raticoff remarked, “Burn them to the ground.”—or, the pro-Israel cartoonist, tweeting a picture depicting a IDF (Israeli Defense Forces) boot crushes a roach meant to be a Palestinian cockroach with the caption, “This!”—or was it parallels to Nazi propaganda that depicted their enemies, people of Jewish, Slavic, Rromani, and African descent as bacteria, cockroaches, rats, pigs, apes, dogs.

But that would only come from someone genocidal back by military aid from world powers, right, the ones committing genocides?

Making Zionism, not a Jewish birthright, but a white supremacist movement?

Ah, I digress.

Israel as a concept, is devoid of culture. Even that of Ashkenazim, who have wonderful cultural dishes like Ptcha and Knishes and dances such as Horah and Terkisher. From that grows a delusion, that consumes. Perhaps that could be why they’ve appropriated dishes like Falafel, as national Israeli dishes despite them predating Israel’s birth as well as the traditional dance of Palestine, Dabke. Like noted with falafels, Israeli’s cultural appropriation and cultural cannibalism extend beyond its initial host. Dishes like hummus, shawarma, and couscous, have been rebranded as Israeli. Cultural Artifacts, predating Israel, have been stolen and displayed in Museums with out acknowledge of their origin. This, act itself is an attempt to obscure, to erase Palestinian history. The Keffiyeh, seen as of resistance and piece traditional Palestinian clothing, has been met with a similar fate.

(Moretz, Cultural cannibalism: A study of Israeli and Russian colonization 2023)

#my writing #free palestine #palestine #israel #writing

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